#and also i'm super into DNA now

[vanesa]

I still can't hear "Kiss Me Thru the Phone" by Soulja Boy without thinking of the lyrics to the Central Dogma Song

[tizeline]

TSAU Season 2 Finale - Part 2

Click here to get to Part 1

So Leo and Raph portal to Big Mama's hotel, Raph isn't very enthusiastic about making a deal with Big Mama considering Draxum has always warned them of how dangerous she can be, but it's not like they have a lot of better options. So while Raph is contemplating how to get BM's help without completely screwing themselves over, Leo immedietly jumps in as soon as they meet her and suggests that Raph can fight in the Battle Nexus in exchange for her help! Without consulting Raph about any of this first! Uh oh! So needless to say, Raph starts freaking out a little bit about this, which is made even worse when Leo just decides to reveal that the both of them were made from Lou Jitsu's DNA! UH OH!!

So the reason why Draxum has always tried keeping his sons away from Big Mama is because just them being genetically modified super soldiers already makes it more likely that BM would wanna kidnap them and force them to become gladiators in her Battle Nexus. This possibility doubles triples quadruples if she were to ever find out that they're more or less biologically speaking Lou Jitsu's kids. Not to mention she might wanna take revenge on Draxum for stealing Lou Jitsu from her. All of this is to say, Draxum has always made it very clear to his sons that this is something they need to keep hidden from her. It's a big secret. A big secret that Leo just revealed to Big Mama. The one thing Draxum told them not to do? Yeah Leo just did it. What the fuck.

Listen, Leo's inital offer of having Raph fight in the Nexus wasn't quite enough to get Big Mama to agree to the deal, she needed an extra push, so Leo took a calculated risk and revealed their secret origins. From here on out it plays out basically like in canon, with Raph freaking out the entire time. They both get Lou Jitsu outfits cuz Raph is basically being marketed as "Lou Jitsu Jr". Then when the battle begins Leo also gets yeeted into the arena, it's revealed that he actually planned this entire thing, him and Raph defeat the enemies and Raph is confronted witht he fact that Leo may or may not be a tactical genius???

No one ever really realized just how strategic Leo can be, including Leo! Granted, he can also be very impulsive and reckless at times so it's not entirely their fault no one ever realized Leo's full potential. That being said, he can clearly be real clever with coming up with strategies and plans when he puts his mind to it, he just outsmarted BIG MAMA! No one outsmarts Big Mama! Raph had already started to learn that maybe he should trust Leo a bit more than he usually does when he found out that Leo was right about the whole Dark Armour thing, but this moment right here really cements it for him. But with this little side-quest over and done with, it's time to head back to Donnie, April, Splinter and Shelldon.

So what have they been up to this entire time? Well, again it's rather similar to in canon, they've just been fighting Shredder the entire time lol, April gets to kick ass using a crane! Mikey doesn't get to yeet that big boat this time tough :( since he's not even here. What does still happen is that Donnie almost gets his fucking shell ripped to pieces by Shredder (he's called that for a reason ig). Donnie's battle shell in the AU already isn't really armour and it leaves half of his shell exposed, and he's not even weaing it right now! THANKFULLY he has gotten good enough at using his Ninpō at this point so that he can use that to shield himself, cuz otherwise LEMME TELL YA he'd be fucking DEAD.

Finally they end up that alleyway where Donnie have managed to calculate that Shredder is supposed to appear in. That's when Leo and Raph return with the mystic collar they got from Big Mama, again the rest basically plays out like in canon, Shredder shows up and they manage to get the collar on him and he's finally defeated, yay! Big Mama shows up, sends him to some magic prison dimension and I'm sure this is definitely not gonna become a problem later on, yay again!

With that entire distaster prevented, everyone is now tired as fuck so it's time to go home. With all the drama going on in the Draxum family at the moment, Splinter suggest that Leo and Raph should stay at his and Donnie's home, if only for a few days if they don't feel comfortable going back to Draxum. Leo and Raph decline though since they feel a responsibility to make sure that Draxum and Mikey are doing okay, especially since The Hidden City authorites may or may not come after them now that all their crimes have been exposed. But Leo and Donnie promise to meet up again soon now that they're officially BROS!

Aaaand that's the TSAU season 1 finale! A lot of stuff is gonna go down in season 2, like all the Draxum family drama, Mikey's angsty teen arc, Shredder coming back and causing problems, Mikey maybe getting a cat, Donnie properly bonding with at least some of his brothers, and finding out wherever Casey disappeared to! So yeah, stay tuned for that!

Also bonus doodle vvv

[kedreeva]

In case you haven't heard yet, Colossal, the biotech company that earlier this year showed off their "woolly mouse," has announced that they de-extincted "dire wolves." I put this in quotes, because just like with the mice, they didn't truly bring them back (nothing can actually do that, yet) or even really make them.

What they actually did was kind of neat; they copied genes sequenced from dire wolf DNA and inserted them into the grey wolf genome (replacing grey wolf DNA, as they said gray wolves shared a significant percentage of their genome (which isn't saying a TON considering how much the human and chimp genome have in common without being nearly the same animals, but it's better than taking, say, a turtle's genome or something else super unrelated), to create a wolf with genes that dire wolves had.

And while that's not really the same thing as building a dire wolf completely from scratch, so to speak, and it's not really "cloning" them either, it's still pretty cool science, and just like with the woolly mouse, the work (ie, altering/editing multiple genes at once from sequenced DNA of deceased individuals) COULD apply to conservation of actual species (for example, having the ability to widen the genome of remaining breeding individuals of an endangered species, with DNA from deceased individuals). I'm not sure if it IS applying to other species right now (at least not through this company, despite their stated claims to want to), but it is one of their stated goals and it would work.

Also, they're pretty cute

As they were born in October 2024, they now have their own 2,000 acre reserve where Colossal is monitoring them closely. There are two males and one female, but as they've stated they do not have plans to breed them, I'm not sure where the female is being kept in relation to the males, but I suspect she's the solo-wolf pictured, vs the pics of the pair.

Anyway, that's all happening.

[musicfeedsmysoul12]

Our second DCXDP au has Danny hiding in Gotham with the cores of Dani, Dan and two other clones who survived. They need DNA to be able to reform but it's in a ‘it doesn't have to be now’ kind of way. Not just Danny’s DNA but another to to balance out their genes.

They'll become babies and be raised up. Dani was melting but forced Danny to promise he wouldn't find someone right away he'd take his time to fall in love first. Dan did the same and the twin clones did to.

Danny decides it's a good idea but keeps the cores safe. He ran to Gotham in the DC universe because the GIW were to close to killing him. His parents, Jazz, Sam, Grandma Ida and the Foleys all followed. Grandma Ida is running some gang down in crime alley having a blast with Sam, constantly trying to hook Sam up with Jason who Ida is in a turf war with. Tucker is happily running a tech company that will soon outstrip it's competitors., his parents helping Jazz is terrifying in Arkham as she tears our corruption.

Maddie abd Jack found out about the Leauge of Assassins and went: study time. Danny, knowing its corrupted ecto and also not wanting to deal with assassins lets then have fun. So Ra’s is dealing with liminal mad scientists who keep stealing the Pits and also have uncovered two Damian clones they kidnapped. Their kids now.

But we’re focusing on Danny who is in college and living a peaceful life which is what he wants most of all. The cores of his kids are always on him just in case and he's casually dating. It's great. He can just be Danny the guy who is super into space and plans on being a mechanic for the watch tower.

Then one day Two-Face attacks the cafe he's at (because of a sale it was having where it was two for one on some sort of new treat). Danny has to run for his life. He gets hit and the bag he has the cores in is harmed. One falls out and he freaks, diving for it. He grabs it just as Black Bat swoops in to save him. She flies him up to a roof.

They land and then she moves to grab one of the cores that fell out. Danny gets antsy but it requires skin contact so it should be okay, she's wearing gloves after all. It'll be fine!

On her part, Cass is wondering why her hand feels tingly but there isn't anything malicious in the mans face so she thinks it might just be the orb she caught being weird. She swings off, noting that she has a hole in her glove.

Danny goes home and doesn't think about it until he realizes that the core the hero touched is growing. And it's getting sick without the touch of its other parent.

Cass on the other hand feels strange. Like she's pulled somewhere. She instantly thinks of the guy and alerts the others to him. They hunt him down to find him on a rooftop. He's surprised to see them, holding an Orb that’s glowing.

“I thought it would take longer…” the man says. He shakes his head. “Umm… rip the band-aids off- I'm nottotslly human.”

The Batfam kinda pauses cause he's giving this info up for free. Cass is eyeing him closely. It's just her, Batman and Robin in front of the man. Everyone else is listening in or in the shadows.

“I ran away from my home dimension cause they were hunting me down to kill me because they believed I was non-sentient. You know sad trench- I mean, John Constantine? I think he put in the word we’re friendly,” the man babbles. The orb shines. “Okay, okay. I need to… Black Bat did your glove have a hole in it when you touched this?”

Cass hums but nods. Barbara has Constantine on the line (and no one wants to know the blckmail she has to make him answer) and he's confirming it's a friendly.

“Okay, okay… this is a Core and it's the heart, soul, brain, everything of an ecto-entity like me. And it… it’s my child. But it needed a second set of DNA. It's fine dormant, it doesn't hurt the baby. But it…” the man swallows. “Skin touch.”

Cass knows in a second what he's leading up to. She touched the orb. It needed DNA.

That's her baby in his hands.

Que the chaos.

[hauntedsavefile]

my take on the strangetown premades!

base temp by @/mageofpanic

this took a lot longer than expected + some of these guys look a little more rough than desired but I'm pretty happy anyways!

keep in mind that these are *my* interpretations of the characters that i've curated over the many years ive been fixated on this game :,-)

some design notes below the cut since i put an ungodly amount of effort into the thought procress (its a lot of text, warning you now) ⬇️

- following the ts3 + ts2 genetics, my curious-smith family are darker skinned with less racially ambiguous features, fuller lips, larger noses, etc. (although not every person of that ethnicity is the same of course! these were purely observational looking at their family line). they are afro mestizo in my headcanon, with glarn being afro latino & kitty being mestizo.

- vidcund still has his mullet thing going on but it is a loc mullet!

- my curiouses are generally chubby. i don't have any exact reason for this. i know a lot of people headcanon pascal as being chubby but i think it could be cool if they all were. it also adds visual interest with different body types.

- erin & loki are scandinavian (like me!) so they're already very pale but i wanted to excaberbate that even further by making them albino. this isn't an accurate depiction of albinism as in real life, people with that condition often have health issues alongside that. (if i were to give that any thought, i like to think that loki initially became interested in inventing to benefit his own health issues but then his ambition took him down a darker, more mad sciencetist path). for erin as well, i just think it's cute considering her whole psychic thing, lookin a bit fairy-like + contrasts nicely with her pink colour scheme.

- nervous is darker skinned, exactly the same as his ma since grim doesn't have dna really. (some people have their own school of thought regarding why nerv being super pale, but this is my own). he has burn scars as electrocution causes scarring on skin + organ tissue, which he has gone through, a lot. he has various stitches, scars, and vitiligo marks across his face and body. the vitiligo on his face looks like a skull. this was originally going to be on the left side of his face, where theres no burns, but i figured it made symbolic sense + was a lot less cluttered if the burns covered up the skull vitiligo markings on his face.

- johnny, ripp, tank all have acne / acne scars - typical of teenagers.

- chloe + lola are of different skintones for storytelling purposes. in my little world, chloe and lola are very deeply close but also very affected by the abscence of their dad (him abandoning them), and being the only aliens they really knew of - basically being raised in isolation for most of their life. This is your typical cain & abel tale. Lola always felt inferior compared to Chloe, who had personality and charisma. She was always jealous of that, feeling like she’s always the awkward one + always will be in her sister’s shadow because of this. She tries her best to compensate for this through pouring herself into her work, in hopes that when she gets money, she’ll finally be accepted. This extends into their assimilation to humanness as well. Chloe is able to assimilate better whereas Lola feels like she cannot.

- Ripp is very different to canon.. I don't have a lot of an explanation for this but I just wanted to give him scene hair (also longer hair because I headcanon her as being a trans girl, but a very closeted one so she's in that awkward phase of growing out her hair but pretending like it's just shaggy + pulls it back into a low ponytail). The cleft lip is a bit of projection on my part, as I had a cleft palate when I was younger. Characters that I like will recieve some kind of disability that I have, for Nervous it's deafness + debilitating leg pain, for Ripp its this. I think it's also interesting narrative wise to compare how Buzz & the Beakers both handle disability. Buzz is a very 'tough it out' & 'you're just being sensitive' type whereas the Beakers uhh caused it, with their experimentation.

- I'm gonna be real, I hate Jill's design. It tells me nothing about her personality wise + I'm bummed out how human she looks. We need more weird little girl designs! Tried to find a middle ground.

- Buck has brown eyes like the corrupted version of Lyla. I chose to make him look like a carbon copy of Lyla (relatively speaking) for irony purposes. He has the least memories of her and yet looks exactly like her.

- Kristen is intended to look more like a typical masc lesbian because I am soo indulgent towards making the singles household just like a crazy lesbian situationship household (minus the curious sisters with eachother - of course).

[witherby]

do you think lex luthor has to pay child support for kon

-🧜‍♂️

Hilarious question. I'm gonna say yes.

Lex took Superman's DNA without his consent (huge lawsuit), performed a type of human experimentation without authorization (human rights violation + huge lawsuit), and didn't register Conner's existence after his creation (another lawsuit). This motherfucker has his parental rights stripped from him faster than Bruce getting ready for a nude calendar shoot.

But! Conner has Lex's DNA in him. That's legally his parent, even if he doesn't have the rights. Of course he owes Superman child support!

Now...does the government have to give Superman a social security number and a photo ID and the ability to make a bank account in order for him to get those payments? Yes.

Does Clark laugh his ass off the first time he receives his legally permissable "Man, Super" photo ID at the DMV because they didn't think to ask if he had an actual name, like Kal El? Also yes. He's mister Man, now, and you can't ever talk to him or his son again.

[restinslices]

Lin Kuei Bros: Play Fighting

Smoke so dramatic-. Anyway, don’t ask why I thought of this. The voices were loud

Bi-Han

Play fighting with any of them is bold as fuck but HIM? You don't like your life 

I'm not saying he's gonna straight up assault you but out of all the brothers, he has the highest chance of hitting you hard as shit on accident 

He probably wouldn't even like play fighting that much. He'd prefer sparring cause at least you're working on your skills. Why you just fucking around?

You gotta catch him on the right day. Some days he's busy and some days he's just legit not in the mood. 

“Imma start it off slow. Imma scope the scenery out-”

If you somehow get this man to cooperate, first of all good job. Second of all, y'all do not stop until you give up. 

The type to pin you down and not let go until you admit he won. If you refuse, you're legit not moving. 

This is a big guy so you're not moving him. You give up, he lets go and you manage to crack a smile out of him

We never see him smile in the game but listen bitch, I'm here for the fantasy-

If he's not in the mood, I can see him just saying “no” like you're a puppy or smth. 

You'd go to swing on him again and he'd either grab your hand or give you a look that tells you he's being serious 

Going back to him accidentally hitting you hard as shit, he's used to sparring with two other buff ass men. Imma guess you're not as buff as them, and some of y'all reading this ain't men. Accidents are bound to happen 

You'd think the Grandmaster would have more control but I just think it slips sometimes. He's stupidly prideful and he's used to sparring so sometimes that's where his mind goes. Also once again, he probably sometimes forgets a hit Kuai Liang could handle is a hit that'll take years off your life. 

I would love to say he gets on his knees and apologizes but this is the same man who betrayed his brothers and was like “why y'all tweaking?” so um… 

You're gasping for air and he's “see why I always say no?”

I feel like I'm making him sound abusive but as someone who's play fought with my older siblings, they hit you hard as shit then tell you you're a bitch when a tear slips out. Why the fuck are you hitting me this hard in my chest? You got 5+ years on me-

He's an older brother. He's gonna hit hard. I swear it's in their DNA 

And if he does apologize it's not really verbal. He checks to make sure your limbs are alright then offers to do something else. 

“Are you gonna say you're sorry?” “For?” “For almost breaking my damn lung” “You started this”

You'd expect that the next time you wanna play fight he'd decline cause he doesn't wanna hurt you again. Wrong. 

Remember he's an older brother. THE older brother. Y'all squaring up again. You don't care about your health so fuck it. 

Honestly would be super fun besides the limb you're gonna lose 

Kuai Liang

Would be more cooperative than Bi-Han but still isn't overly excited to play fight 

Bi-Han is the “tell mom. I don't care” older brother. Kuai Liang is the “wait wait wait, I'm sorry. You can hit me back. Calm down. You want some candy?” older brother 

Fully aware he could cause terrible injuries but as time passes on, he relaxes more 

Definitely play fought as a kid but after Tomas started jumping everytime he heard his voice, he thought “maybe I need new hobbies”.

You’ve interrupted his recovery

He actively focuses on holding back and being soft even if you tell him not to

“Hit me harder” “No❤”

Honestly a fun time though. He holds back when it comes to strength but still tussles with you. Also let's you get hits in even when he could easily dodge them. 

If he accidentally injured you frfr, he's checking up on you immediately and says y'all stopping for today. 

“No, I'm ok” “Can you even breathe right now?” “Uhhh… yes😀” “We're done”

For sure feels like an asshole depending on how bad you're hurt. He's not sliding down the wall in pain but he's like “damn, that was a little too hard”. 

“You can hit me back” “No. I've seen Twilight” “What?” “It's gonna hurt me more than it's gonna hurt you. I'm not doing that”. (Now I wanna write you making them watch Twilight. I'm never gonna be rid of this addiction-)

You gotta hit him back so y'all can be even. It's the only way to move on

Y'all are not doing that shit again for at least another week or so. 

“We gotta scrap right here right now” “No”

Does the thing older siblings do when they put their hand on your head so when you swing at them, you're just hitting air. 

It's so infuriating so you gotta stop. 

The next time though, you swear you're gonna win. You will not. 

Tomas Vrbada

The most willing and having the most fun 

Tomas has two older brothers that probably jumped him on several occasions growing up and you're gonna try and convince me he doesn't have aggression to get out?

People would probably expect he's the softest but no. He's the youngest. As the youngest myself I can assure you, we are used to putting our all in these fights cause we gotta use all our strength to defeat these evil mfs we live with. Sometimes it's not enough-

You're not his older sibling so he's not scrapping like his life depends on it but I do think he's hitting somewhat hard 

Not as hard as Bi-Han, not as soft as Kuai Liang 

You feel his hits but it's not knocking the wind outta you 

Super fun cause he's also using the environment. Definitely is grabbing a pillow and starts swinging it at you. Definitely is running around the couch to chase you. Definitely has thrown you but made sure to aim at something soft. He's probably even turned off the lights then threw a folded blanket at you 

“Cheater” “Don't be upset you didn't think of it first”

You're fighting but laughing at the same time. There's no real tension. Just fucking around. 

Probably starts initiating it too

If he does injure you fr, for a split second he'd actually see it as a victory then he'd remember you're not his older brothers and is like “oh shit-”. 

Injuring those two would mean freedom (or a worse jumping. really depends), injuring you is not good. 

He knows how bad those hits can hurt so he makes sure you're alright. He's not watching you as much as Kuai Liang would but he'd still make sure you're not overly sore. 

He doesn't feel as bad as Kuai Liang would cause he kinda knows this shit happens. Kuai Liang kinda got a little bit of guilt cause Tomas gets into a fighting stance when he raises his hand up. Tomas hasn't victimized anyone so he's more chill about these situations 😭

Tells you random ass stories about when he used to play fight with his brothers. 

“One time Bi-Han threw me in the air and Kuai Liang jumped to catch me only to throw me against the wall”

“This reminds me of when Bi-Han swept my feet from under me and Kuai Liang jumped on me”

“What is it called when someone jumps on you elbow first?”

“This one time I woke up to them standing over me. I knew it was a wrap”

“One time Bi-Han slapped the back of my neck so hard, it was red for at least a week”

“One time Kuai Liang-” “Tomas… you need a therapist” “I don't think that's what it is”

Unlike Kuai Liang who makes you wait, he's cool with scrapping days later. 

Actually says “time out” when he wants a break. Also says “time in” fast as fuck though to catch you off guard 

Legit the most fun brother. I don't make the rules (except I do). 

I did not mean to write the least for Kuai Liang but I was really brain empty for him. Y’all should give me ideas, thanks bookie

[resident-idiot-simp]

Wade and his cancer

Logan had noticed the sickly smell that came from Wade how could he not? Hell Logan would go as far to say it now reminded him of home. He knew the scent was off but he just assumed it had something to do with his mutation.

It was a day like any other where Logan was chilling on the couch and Althea was on her chair. They were watching TV while Al made sardonic comments every few minutes. Logan was surprised Wade wasn't up and awake by now since he usually was. The both of them still got up early because of their time as soldiers.

An hour later Wade shambled out of the bedroom. Logan smelled the pain that wafted from him immediately. He looked over alarmed and saw Wade wincing as he shuffled. Logan was immediately on his feet and at the other man's side.

"Wade what's wrong?" He asked worriedly. Wade just grimaced, "Nothing honey badger." Wade said voice cracking and unconvincing. Logan just stared at him unconcerned and Wade grimaces harder. Althea piped up, "Bad day?" She asked sympatheticly Logan looked between the two confused.

He was missing something that was obvious. Wade made a pained noise of agreement and Logan was completely and utterly lost. He bit back a whine he didn't like that his mate was hurting. Wade just smiled up at him trying to reassure him before his eyes went wide and he stumbled into the bathroom. Logan watched horrified as Wade puked his guts out in the toilet.

Logan moved quickly to his side eyes wide as saucers as he rubbed at the other man's back. Wade just groaned as he flushed the toilet and stumbled to his feet with Logan's help. Wade washed out his mouth as Logan runs a damp cloth over Wade's face.

Eventually Logan and Wade shamble to the couch. When he was finally layed out Wade on top of Logan he finally relaxed slightly melting more into the familiar heat. "What is going on with you you are worrying me Wade." Logan asked. Althea made a questioning noise. "Wade did you not tell him?" She asked.

Logan looked between her and Wade once more, "Tell me what?" He asked beyond lost. Althea tried to look at Wade pointedly but ended up starting at a wall. Wade answered anyway, "Cancer baby girl." Wade says flippantly.

Logan jerks his head down to look at Wade in alarm. "What?!" Logan half barks. Wade manages to somewhat shrug. "I've got like stage 20 cancer." Wade says like it means nothing. "The fuck you mean you have cancer?!" Logan asked distressed. Wade pats at him comfortingly.

"That's why I look like I do I'm just one big cancerous tumor." Wade tells him and Logan hates that things are starting to make more sense. "The healing factor..." Logan trails of as the puzzle comes together.

"Is so fast because of cancer which is also constantly killing me." Wade says half choked like he's holding back tears. Logan hates this he hates this so much. Wade never cries never shows weakness and the fact he is is a testament to how bad the pain is.

"How long have you had cancer?" Logan asks hesitantly. "2016 about a year after I met Vanessa. Passed out on her and got diagnosed, shit was terminal and I didn't have long to live." He muttered into Logan's collarbone. Logan just rubbed at the mans back soothingly as he took it in.

"Left Vanessa to spare her and signed up for an experimental 'treatment' that promised to cure me and make me into a super hero." The air quotes were audible.

"Knew it was bullshit but what the fuck other option did I have? Next thing you know I'm being injected with something to kickstart a mutation with this universe's Logan's DNA." Logan didn't know what to say or how to feel.

"Got tortured for I don't know how long until it activated." Wade finished and Logan had to fight himself not to growl. "They're dead." Logan said more then asked. "Slaughtered them all and blew the place sky high." Wade confirmed.

Logan had to be content with that.

[evilminji]

Okay... so it COULD be because, as a writer, I'm an ASSHOLE to my Characters...

BUT YOU KNOW WHAT'D BE FUNNY?

Danny, innocent, gets YEETED into DC. As ya do. And he's a bit messed up. But! He's a Baby Ancient in the making. Gonna be master of Spaaaaaace(~~~☆!) one day. Very exciting, only slightly relevant.

See, Ectoplasm? Dumb. That's why we need Cores and Brains etc. Never let Ectoplasm decide things. It WILL chose the "technically correct but now the buildings on fire" option EVERY SINGLE TIME. And you are running out of fire extinguishers.

Because it is dumb.

Very, VERY No Brain, Just Goo, Dumb.

And THIS Goo has a life to save. A Halfa too maintain in Peak Performance(tm). Because THIS Goo is VERY smart Goo(according only to itself) and TOTALLY knows what it's doing! Damaged meat bits? Oh that's EASY! You just FIX that! Replace with meat bits! See? It's BRILLIANT Goo. 10 out of 10 stars, me!

Small problem.

The instructions have been damaged.

PANIC.

Wait! No! We got this! We are Very Smart Goo(tm). And have Space Powers. This is FINE. We'll... we'll just FIX the instructions! Hand me a hammer! If we smash enough bits together, it'll sort? Of look right? Close ENOUGH? Yeeeeeah. We're GENIUS Goo~

Use THAT!

But where did they GET their ill begotten DNA? Well OBVIOUSLY the place all the OTHER DNA they had was stored, DUH? Keep up, says the Goo with literally no braincells making horrifying choices for an unconscious man. It's Earth.

As in... the planet.

It's not even HIS planet. It's AN Earth. A Planet CALLED "Earth" that dwells in the DC universe, not his, and is covered with ZERO(0) Fentons but plenty of superhumans and aliens. THAT planet.

The Goo grabbed the Very BESTEST Meat Instructions it could FIND! The Goo is also a collective and did not AGREE on what the "Best" WAS. But it's... okay, no, I can't lie to you, it is NOT fine.

But thankfully it IS stable.

Because Ectoplasm may be dumb and indiscriminate as super-bacteria with a flamethrower, but it is a MASTER at the jigsaw of Life. It can reanimate ANYTHING.

Including the now SINGLE MOST CHIMERAD MAN you've ever SEEN. Who is he related too? YES. His left knee is Kryptonian, the fingers on his right hand are Tameranian, his skin tone has shifted to the most ambiguously multi-ethnic tone imaginable (think that future of humanity mock up, where they combine every ethnicity on the premise that inter-racial marriage will becoming increasingly common up to the point where we all just kinda look averaged out thanks to the ease of travel) because it's trying to do all of them at once and none of them are willing to back down, because all of them got the instructions "Be Skin". He might have Slade Wilson's cheek bones and hair.

Danny wakes up and basicly is half Ectoplasmic Goo, half the extended Super Community.

AND CANT GET BACK HOME TO FIX IT.

Because of course this IS fixable. It's just medical shape-shifting. But without HIS template, undamaged. His body is REFUSING to change from what is OBVIOUSLY the CORRECT form. And he keeps getting clocked as "probably related to me".

With the Fenton Luck kicking in? The parts of him people manage to swab and/or get DNA from? Keep MATCHING them. Danny doesn't know WHO is behind this but-! *spots a giggle child with a cat* !!!!!!

You.

Klarion you little SHIT!

So now he's wearing a face that's BARELY his, running from very determined superhumans who want to parent him, trying to steal enough technology to build a portal. AND vowing to kick the witch boy's ASS.

This ISNT FUNNY, KLARION.

His body is Frankenstein's FEVER DREAM! Every time he gets hurt, it tries to "FIX" itself! He lost a chunk of his should back there and HIS ENTIRE BODY CHANGED SKIN TONES. He's pretty sure if he SITS funny, his teeth might fall out and regrow POINTY! He's handing you over to WALKER you horrible little gremlin child!

Just? Take the "Danny is related to X" and "Danny is sick" and turn them uuuuup. Make EVERYBODY concerned except Danny. This is just another fucked up adventure in a long string of fucked up adventures. Give him his DNA back. If he has to suffer the Fenton Luck then he should AT LEAST get to keep the Fenton "built like a tank"!

*gets hit again*

*is GREEN now for some reason* The fuck?

Garfield, aka Beast Boy: I HAVE A CLONE SON!?

Danny: Zone DAMN IT not another one!

@ailithnight @hdgnj @nerdpoe @the-witchhunter

[suzukiblu]

WIP excerpt for Waywren Truesong behind the cut, who asked for either Timkon or Timberkon and interdimensional shenanigans and is getting “weird amnesia Timberkon”.  (( chrono || non-chrono ))

Yeah, Bernard very much needs to actually do something here, if he’s legitimately the only person that Superboy’s found who even remembers he goddamn exists. But he also doesn’t exactly have the kind of connections that Tim would, or that Superboy should, so like . . . trying to convince the guy to take the credit card and trying to convince him to eat are still the only things that are coming to mind so far. 

“Super-speed, right? So if you need somewhere to crash between, uh . . . whatever you’re looking into right now or whatever, you can hit me up whenever,” he tries, because he has no damn idea what else to offer. Like���his couch is not exactly a big offer, but at least he could make sure Superboy actually eats that way. 

“I don’t know what I’m doing,” Superboy says into his hands, his voice still all choked-up in a way that physically hurts to hear. “I–I couldn’t find anybody I’d usually ask, except for the ones who–who the fuck could I even ask? What am I even supposed to say, ‘hey, I realize this is gonna sound insane and also don’t worry about whose DNA I have in me or whatever, but like, can you do me a solid and fix reality for me?’ Who the fuck even would I ask?” 

“I honestly have no idea whose weight class that would even be,” Bernard admits with a grimace. “Justice League, I guess? Like, probably the Justice League, right? Maybe the Titans, I guess, they’ve got Raven over there, she might be able to do something.” 

“I tried to talk to Raven,” Superboy says. “I don’t think she could see me.” 

“What?” Bernard startles a little, then stares at him. Superboy drops his head lower and digs his fingers into his scalp. 

“I tried to talk to Raven,” he repeats roughly. “Took me two fuckin’ weeks to even find her, but I tried. She didn’t even, like, look at me. Her heart rate didn’t change, her eyes didn’t even refocus–she like, literally did not even know I was there. So you know, that was fucking terrifying or whatever. I don’t even know if it was because of the reality fuckup or if I’m actually just, like, some fake fucking thing and she could see right through me and maybe I'm not even real, maybe I’m literally just some bullshit trick or trap or stupid fucking–” 

“One time I heard you disassembled every gun in LA at once,” Bernard cuts in quick, and Superboy drops his arms to the table and drops his face into them with a sob so hard that it makes Bernard’s throat hurt. “You used to run with this group called the Ravers, and you started up Young Justice with Robin and Impulse. You guys had a bike you called the Super-Cycle, I dunno if you won the coin flip there or what, kinda just always assumed?” 

“That was just its name,” Superboy says, and then lets out a sobbed, cracked laugh. “Imp was so fucking annoyed. It liked him and Rob better anyway, though. And then Slobo.” 

“Was that the guy who looked like a mini-me version of that Lobo dude and desperately needed to eat his Wheaties?” Bernard asks, frowning briefly to himself, and Superboy laughs again, or sobs again, and Bernard is uncomfortably aware of just how much he can not tell the difference. 

“He was sick,” Superboy croaks. “Genetically–like, flawed, or whatever. Degrading. S’why he looked like that. Stopped, like–developing or whatever. Otherwise he’d have been Lobo. Like–if he’d survived all the other ones trying to kill him, anyway, it was–he was just sick. I don’t think he even existed here, though. Didn’t find anything about him when I looked. Not sure if Empress or Secret exist here either, but like, maybe Secret’s just still in some shitty DEO lab or something or on Apokolips or–I don’t know. Nobody remembers me and I can’t even find half of them and even Superman–I don’t know what I’m doing, man. I don’t know how to explain myself without sounding like a fucking supervillain plot or what the fuck ever and I don’t know how to make anybody even believe me and if they–if they don’t believe me–I don’t know what I’m gonna do, if I try to explain and they just don’t believe me.” 

“Oh,” Bernard says, feeling that nauseous knotting sensation in his stomach get a whole lot worse. That . . . does not sound like the way a mentally-healthy person would be talking right now, no. Like not even a little bit does it sound like the way a mentally-healthy person would be talking right now. 

“I don’t know what I’m gonna do,” Superboy chokes again, fisting a hand in his hair so tight his knuckles whiten. It’s pretty much the only thing in the entire shop he could grip that tight, Bernard’s gonna bet, because if Superboy is gripping something tight enough to make his knuckles white . . . 

“You’re gonna take my credit card and go get some lunch or at least a friggin’ snack or something,” Bernard replies as matter-of-factly as he can while he feels this friggin’ useless, digging his wallet back out to rifle through it for a spare receipt or piece of scrap paper or something. He never cleans the thing out enough anyway, there’s gotta be something he can use somewhere in the mess of old rewards cards and punch cards and ticket stubs and whatever. Though actually the ticket stubs’d probably work if he can find one with enough empty space on it, so like–fucking there they go, he thinks as he turns up a folded-up index card that he’d scribbled a grocery list on a couple weeks ago. He fishes it out and shakes it open, then digs through his pockets ‘til he finds a pen and scribbles his address and his apartment building’s door code down on the back of it as he just as matter-of-factly continues: “And then you’re gonna crash at my place, at least for tonight. I’ve got class ‘til six but I’m assuming the TTK can handle a basic civvie-level lock if I’m not back by the time you get there, so just let yourself in if you gotta.” 

“I seriously don’t get you, man,” Superboy says helplessly, his head still down and fist just as white-knuckle tight in his hair. “I just–why do you even give a fuck where I’m sleeping, much less if I’m fucking eating enough?” 

“I mean, this is maybe unfair of me to say or whatever, but I think Tim would literally never forgive me if I did not,” Bernard says, because he not only thinks that, he just straight-up knows it. “Like, if he were currently operating with all the relevant information, obviously. Also probably Wonder Girl and Impulse would hold grudges, and I am not brave enough to risk incurring the wrath of a chick who rolls with literal Amazons or a guy who could dump me in the Alaskan wilderness on a whim without even needing to block out a full minute of his day to find the time to do it.” 

“They literally do not even remember I exist,” Superboy says helplessly into the table. 

“I really feel like you’re underselling how objectively insane you guys all are when you’re rolling together,” Bernard replies frankly, then peels the index card back up off the table and sticks it in the rolled-up cuff of one of Superboy’s sleeves, due to a lack of pocket-reachability at the moment. Whatever, TTK; it’s not like Superboy’s gonna drop it or whatever. “Because you were all clearly objectively insane, so like–congrats on surviving to adulthood, I guess? Honestly very impressive any of you managed it, considering, much less all four.” 

“Technically I didn’t,” Superboy mutters. “And Impulse only did because of, like, weird Speed-Force aging shit.” 

“If it didn’t stick it doesn’t count,” Bernard lies, putting on a dismissive expression and waving him off. “So really you’re all killing it, far as I’m concerned.” 

Superboy sobs again, or laughs again. Bernard really, really wishes he could tell the difference either way.

[t-lostinworlds]

Big, Hormonal Heart | Bucky Barnes

》 PAIRING: bucky barnes x pregnant!female!reader

》 TROPE/GENRE: established relationship (marriage), fluff fluff fluff

》 SUMMARY: It'd probably take more than one lifetime for Bucky to list reasons why he was so lucky to call you his wife. He was certain your big heart was one of them. One that grew even more with pregnancy hormones. It was sweet, how you to got so upset when they got his order wrong. Your meal was perfectly fine. But when his wasn't? Oh it was a crime.

》 WARNINGS: pregnancy, a dog named Snow and Alpine the cat, pet names (doll, baby, my love, sweetheart), emotional!r (she cries. like, most of the fic), husband!bucky being the sweetest, domesticity and just overall fluff (pretty tame fic ngl)

》 WORD COUNT: 2.5k+

A/N: this idea was super random. i saw an insta reel of a pregnant woman having mood swings over some food and then everyone was sharing their experiences in the comments and i got inspired so here ya go alksalkss. DISCLAIMER! I'm not pregnant nor have i ever been lol. I did as much research as i could but still, don't count on me to be 100% accurate.

++ ALSO this was written in just a few hours. this isn't my best work. just something i wanted to write as an exercise since i haven't written anything in months. anyways, i hope you enjoy!

📍 BLOG NAVIGATION ✩ B. BARNES MASTERLIST ✩ MAIN MASTERLIST ✩

⊱ ─────.⋅♚ *｡･ﾟ.★. *｡･ﾟ✫*.

Bucky Barnes was one lucky man.

If someone had told him years ago that he was going to live in a quaint home in the suburbs, a lovely backyard space for a dog and a cat to enjoy, and that he'd be married to the absolute love of life, an angel on earth who was now carrying his first child—

He honestly would've stared at them dead in the eye, wondering how someone could make such a cruel joke.

Yet here he was, actually living it, a life that seemed so much like a dream.

Though he was quickly reminded of how real this was as he stood in the nursery, glaring at the manual that came with the crib you two had bought from the furniture store.

It looked simple enough at first—putting together ready-made pieces should be easy, right?

Wrong.

Not when you have countless amounts of screws that more or less looked the same but were actually not because each served a different purpose. 

He was in the middle of figuring out how to install the legs to the main base when you walked into the room with your two bodyguards—Alpine the Cat and Snow the five-year-old Samoyed—in tow.

"How's it going, handsome?" you hummed as you reached his side, arms wrapping around his waist, your warmth immediately easing the frustration he had about this goddamn crib.

"It's…" he sighed, gesturing at the wooden pieces scattered around the floor. "Going."

You laughed at that, kissing his clothed shoulder before standing in front of him.

Bucky held your waist then, pulling you as close as he could given that your baby bump was in the middle of you both.

He honestly couldn't begin to express how much comfort and warmth covered his whole being every time he was met with the absolute love in your eyes.

And Bucky was sure his gaze shined the same.

So many people have pointed it out on numerous occasions, the twinkle in his eyes every time they land on you—his beautiful wife.

"I was thinking," you murmured, resting your hands on his chest, moving up his shoulder and down again in a sweet caress. "How about a quick break while we order some food?"

It was only about an hour after lunch, so Bucky wasn't particularly keen on filling his stomach some more.

But you, on the other hand, were nearing the end of your second trimester. It wasn't out of the norm for you to be hungry at this time, given you were eating for two. Plus, there was an added layer that your little peanut probably had some super soldier serum in their DNA—the baby's appetite could be enhanced for all he knew.

Other than that, the last thing Bucky wanted was an angry and hungry pregnant wife. So it wasn't really a hard decision to make.

"Okay, let's get you something to eat," he said.

Ever the observant person that you were, you quickly noticed his choice of words.

"For me?" you asked, brows furrowed. "You're not hungry?"

Bucky shook his head. "Not really."

Your bottom lip went.

He instantly knew he said the wrong thing.

"But I'm hungry," you murmured, eyes starting to glisten.

He could never explain it even if he tried, but whenever you got upset, your bodyguards always seemed to notice it. The two have always been protective of you and that only grew tenfold when you got pregnant.

Today wasn't an exception.

Snow barked at him, whining his complaints as he put his fifty-pound body between your legs, slightly pushing Bucky back. The furball was well trained though, so his protectiveness never went too far beyond being vocal about it. Alpine, on the other hand, was sitting a foot away, glaring at Bucky—quite the traitor given that she was supposed to be his cat, but he couldn't blame her for loving you, either—as if she knew it was his fault you were upset.

But still, Bucky wasn't quite sure what he'd done wrong.

"I know, sweetheart," he said slowly, a little confused, trying to navigate around Snow who was pawing at his leg as if trying to push him further away. "I'll order some food for you."

"But you're not hungry," you repeated, body slumping with sadness.

"I'm not," he agreed, quickly cupping your face when a tear slipped from your eyes. "But hey, hey, that doesn't mean we can't still order food for you, doll."

"No, I know," you sniffled.

"So, what's making you upset, hmm?"

You buried your face in his chest with a shaky breath as you said,

"I don't want to eat alone."

Bucky paused, pressing his lips and swallowing down a laugh because he couldn't have you thinking he was making fun of you. He wasn't. But you were so adorable it made his chest ache.

"Okay, okay," he hummed, kissing the side of your head as he rubbed your back in comfort. "I'll order something for me, too."

•••

A few minutes later, your little family migrated to the living room. You both were sitting on the couch together, the two furballs sprawled at your feet as a random show played on TV. Various take-out bags covered the coffee table, way too many for two people but hey, that's what fridges and microwaves are for.

Fondness filled Bucky's bones as he watched you settle your food on your lap, doing what he called your Cravings Satisfied Wiggle.

He couldn't contain his chuckle.

You looked at him with furrowed brows, words a little muffled with your mouth full. "What?"

"Happy?" he asked, reaching over to wipe the sauce on the corner of your mouth.

"Very much," you giggled, eyes wrinkling at the corners.

Even after all these years, the sight of your pure joy still made his heart stutter, chest growing warmer when you leaned closer with a pout.

Bucky met you halfway for a short yet sweet kiss.

"Thank you," you hummed, even though there was no need for you to thank him for ordering you food.

"You're welcome, sweetheart."

Reaching over the table, he took the one and only paper bag that was for him, because again, he wasn't that hungry.

"Oh."

"What's wrong?" You turned to him in concern.

"It's not a big deal," he reassured with a smile, shrugging because it really wasn't. "They got mine wrong."

You frowned. "You didn't get the nuggets?"

"No, they give me the burger meal," he said. "They must've misheard me.

Bucky immediately perked up when your lips started to tremble.

"Hey, hey, what's wrong?" he asked worriedly, cupping your face to wipe away your tears.

"You—" you sniffled. "You didn't get your nuggets."

Bucky pressed his lips to stop a smile.

God you were so fucking cute.

"It's okay, baby," he soothed. "I'm fine with a burger, too."

You cried even harder.

Snow and Alpine quickly stood, all alert and concerned as they nudged your leg.

"You wanted the nuggets, Bucky," you insisted, choking back a sob. "But you didn't get it."

He carefully pulled you closer, rubbing your back in comfort as you laid your head on his shoulder. "I know, but it's okay—"

"No, it's not!" you protested, all teary and frustrated, pulling away to glare at him. "You deserve to get what you want. Y-You deserve all the good things after e-everything."

Bucky might honestly start crying too with how sweet you were being.

"Oh doll, come here," he placated, pulling you in for a hug while trying to navigate the food on your lap.

He could take it away for safety, but he'd already learned his lesson the hard way. Taking food away from a pregnant woman was a death sentence.

"I want you to be happy," you sniffled, burying your face against his neck. "You wanted the nuggets and they disrespected that."

It took so much for him not to let out a chuckle. Because as much as Bucky hated to see you crying and upset, he couldn't deny how adorably funny this whole conversation was.

But you'd always had the biggest heart. Whether that was crying over those rescue animal videos, emotional scenes in movies, to feeling upset over something he was experiencing—your empathy was always high.

What more with the pregnancy hormones in the mix?

"How about I ask them to change it?"

Again, wrong thing to say.

He needed to get better at this.

"But they're probably so stressed and overworked already," you sobbed. "A-And it's about to rain. I don't want the delivery guy to get wet in the rain. T-They already don't get paid enough."

"Hey, hey, it's okay," he hummed, rubbing your back. "Will you look at me, my love?"

You lifted your head then, Bucky's heart aching at the absolute distress on your features—pout in full play, eyes a little bloodshot with tear stains on your skin.

He cupped your cheeks with a soft smile, placing gentle kisses all over your face, unrelenting until you let out a whine of protest. He stopped then, thankful to see that you'd calmed down now.

"I promise you, the burger meal is perfectly fine with me. I'm not mad or upset about it. I don't mind it at all," he said.

You took a calming deep breath and nodded. It only took a second for you to look at him sheepishly.

"Sorry I overreacted," you whispered, embarrassed.

"Hey, none of that," he lightly scolded. "All the emotions you're feeling will always be valid."

You smiled, small yet sweet, leaning in and kissing him with as much gratitude as you could muster.

"Besides, it makes me feel so honored to know that you're willing to fight for my chicken nugget rights."

"Shut up, Barnes."

•••

You and Bucky always had a nightly routine and it usually consisted of the two of you getting ready for bed in your own different ways. They were intertwined, but not exactly the same. Like you'd be doing some skin care in the bathroom while he would be brushing his teeth.

But ever since you got pregnant, your routine became more in sync.

It usually started with a bath that he'd run for you. Most of the time he'd end up joining you, the length of said bath varying since that usually depended on what mood you were in. Bucky was always at the service of meeting his wife's needs, after all.

Recently, now that your bump wasn't particularly easy to navigate, he'd helped you get ready for bed. From getting dressed to your skin care, including rubbing some moisturizer on your stomach. That part was one of his favorite things to do.

Then it was the typical things, getting dressed, brushing your teeth—this one you stopped him from doing it for you even though he was more than willing—and overall just getting ready for bed.

Once you’d settled on the pregnancy pillow that Bucky fluffed up for you, he'd sit near the foot of the bed to give your sore feet a massage while you read a book.

Tonight, right when he was in the middle of doing that, he heard you sniffle.

Bucky looked up in concern, catching you already staring at him with tears already in your eyes.

"What's wrong?" he asked, looking you over. "Does something hurt?"

"No, I-I'm okay. I just—" You cut yourself off with a sob.

Bucky quickly moved beside you, pulling you onto his lap as he wrapped his arms around your form. You buried your face into the crook of his neck, body shaking as you cried.

"Hey, hey, talk to me," he murmured against your hair. "Tell me what's wrong."

"It's just—" You let out a shaky breath. "You're always taking care of me."

"Of course, sweetheart, you're my wife," he said. "And not only because it's my duty as your husband, but because I love you so much."

That made you cry even harder.

"I l-love you too, so much," you sobbed. "But I haven't been able to take care of you lately and that's not f-fair."

Bucky felt his heart grow as if it wasn't already bursting at the seams.

How could someone be so selfless and sweet?

"You're pregnant, my love," he stated the obvious reason as to why. "Besides, I'm capable of taking care of myself. It's alright."

"No, it's not," you argued, pulling away slightly to face him. "You deserve to be taken care of, too! You deserve to get pampered a-and a break but you're always fussing over me and taking care of me instead. I'm not helping with any of it. I'm just making it harder for you."

"No, absolutely not," he stated firmly, holding your face in his hands, wiping your tears away with his thumbs. "I love taking care of you. It honestly makes me feel so fulfilled and happy when I do."

"Really?" you sniffled.

"Yes. It's the least I could do with everything that you've been going through right now," he said truthfully, adding with a chuckle, "Hell, if I could carry our baby so you wouldn't have to go through all the pain I would."

That earned him a small laugh.

"But I want to take care of you, too," you admitted after a deep breath.

"You already are," he hummed, thumb stroking your cheek lovingly. "You're taking care of our baby and my heart, and those are very important to me."

You scrunched up your nose adorably.

"That was so cheesy."

"But it's true, though."

You smiled, cupping his face. Bucky turned his head to kiss your palm.

"Thank you," you sighed fondly. "For putting up with me and for everything."

"First off, I'm not putting up with anything," he reassured, kissing your other palm before adding, "Second, you never have to thank me for taking care of you. Never."

You nodded, leaning closer to press your lips against his, pouring all your love and gratitude into it. Bucky kissed you back with the same fervor, never needing words to express what you truly feel for each other.

He felt so content—feeling your lips, your fingers tangled in his hair, and your little peanut asking for attention too, kicking the second Bucky rested hand on your bump.

When you let out a soft, needy whine, he was ready to take the kiss even further.

That was until a wet tongue met his cheek.

Bucky groaned in annoyance, pulling away to see Snow giving you a kiss, too. He couldn't be angry at the dog for ruining the moment when your lovely laugh echoed in the air. Alpine jumped on the bed a second later, nudging her head against Bucky's chin before walking over to place a loving paw on your bump.

His smile was as bright as it could be as he watched the scene before him.

A wonderful home, a wholesome family that involved his beautiful, loving wife and two furballs, his family that was only getting bigger in a few months—

Yeah.

Bucky Barnes was one lucky man.

✫*ﾟ･ﾟ｡.★.*｡･ﾟ♛ *.

↬ thank you for reading lovely! reblog & leave a comment if you enjoyed! feedback is always appreciated! ++ consider supporting me on ko-fi if you can!

✉ NO TAGLIST: go follow @t-lostinlibrary​​​​ and turn on notifications to get updated on my works!

© t-lostinworlds, 2023 ✘ I do NOT give any permission to repost, translate, & use any of my works (writings, gifs, dividers, etc.) on any platform, with credit or otherwise. Please respect that. Thank you.

[sully-s]

why do you call him conner luthor

Cause I'm married to the idea that Conner was raised by Luthor from a baby instead of being a teenage formed 3-year-old lab clone and has a complicated relationship with Luthor (because Luthor is a narcissist Conner is half of his DNA so Luthor actually feels something for the kid) and Conner lives most of the time with Luthor because I don't love the idea that Clark keeps dropping off all of his family members off at the Kent Farm. Like sure The Kents were great in raising Clark because he's was basically a clean slate. But to drop off Kara who dealing with the death of everything she knows and all of a sudden develops god-like powers like flight and super speed and just thinking that she'll behave and adjust is a stretch and neglectful of Clark. Then to drop off his half-clone who dealing with an identity crisis not to mention the hurt of not being completely embraced by Superman who is notorious is pretty warm to everyone. With his parents thinking he'll just stay put is also a stretch lol.

Also, I just like the idea that instead of the normal cannon that Clark takes in both Kara and Conner, Conner who's lived a billionaire lifestyle now forced to a 1 bedroom studio apartment with 2 other people quickly peaces out and continues to live with Luthor who gets the stereotypical rebellious treatment of your average teenager but the things that Conner is rebelling against is his father doing real war crimes and injustices. Like just imagine your Conner and you spent all night fighting robots your dad made to terrorize the city with. As soon as you arrive home red sun lamps turn on rendering you powerless and you see your father sitting in the living room armchair waiting up for you so he can chew you out for being out so late on a school night and also ground you for destroying millions of dollars of his equipment. This leads to an argument about how he's a literal tyrant Which frustrates you so much that you retreat to your room slam the door and turn on your music loud lol.

[donkoogrr]

Ayo, I'm looking for a fic that has the ABSOLUTE BEST reasoning for why the Joker is still alive. I read it once and can't find it again.

Basically, it's from Jason's pov as he died his Red Hood schtick, but Batman reacts very differently to the identity reveal. He tells him that the Joker that killed Jason is dead, he has been avenged, and that the Joker he's holding hostage is someone else.

Bruce talks Jason down, promises explanations, and gets him to return to the Batcave.

Cut for spoilers and length.

It turns out that the Joker has been running a stealth immortality campaign for years. He injects innocent people with what's essentially a time bomb of his own DNA, memories, and Joker toxin to rewrite a person's mind and change their body. It is very comic book science.

What it means is, every time the Joker dies, a random person in the world has their life destroyed as they become the new Joker. And there's no telling how many people are infected. There's no telling they can't all be triggered at once if Batman lets on that he knows what's going on.

Maybe they've never even met the true Joker and there's just a person out there constantly spreading this plague while someone else rots in Arkham or carries out their various plans.

Batman implores Jason to understand what would happen if the truth of this got out into the world. Forget the Gay/Trans Panic Defense, people would start killing each other for laughing suddenly or looking too pale or dyeing their hair green. Governments would definitely overstep boundaries. There would be mass panic.

All Batman can do is keep the only active Joker alive and contained as best he can while he tries to find the source of the problem. It's taking years, yes. He has to be careful, and shit keeps happening. There was an earthquake, an outbreak of genetically modified super ebola, a broken back, so many immediate world crises. But he's always been working on this.

And when Red Hood finds that he can't fault this logic, that this Joker is just some missing person case that won't be solved until he's a corpse, Batman drops the other bombshell.

He believes that Red Hood is also a missing person who only believes he is Jason Todd, because the LoA has access to the same technology. Ra's and Joker were working together when Jason was murdered. He's gonna just knock Jason out real quick now and get that little chip of recorded memories, and DNA out of him.

Except that when Jason wakes up, he's still Jason and his Dad is at his bedside, head in hands, having found no microchip.

SO YEAH it's my favorite excuse as to why Joker stays alive and why his personality/violence level keeps shifting. And I can't find the fic that inspired it. Please let me know I'm not in the wrong timeline and that this fic does in fact exist.

[adventuretolkienlover]

TFA Theory Time! :D

So some people showed some interest in this theory of mine. So I decided to go into more detail with it! I made a chart too, but it's kinda big. So here's a smaller version.

Basically it's showing that for some reason, the Dinobots show great similarity to both Prowl and Bulkhead in appearance. Now while I'm absolutely using this detail as shipping fuel, I feel like it also points to something much bigger! A part of the Cybertronian life cycle that seems to have not been uncovered. The key lies with (ironically) Sari Sumdac.

(Quick thing to mention. I'm aware that this theory may not be completely sound. I tried to make it sound as possible, but I'm sure I missed a few points. Please keep that in mind while reading.)

Rest is under the cut because this is LOOOOOONG.

SARI SUMDAC

First, let's start off at the beginning. Sari Sumdac's creation is most certainly a mystery. But the few details we saw give huge insight to the Cybertronian life cycle!

Sari was found in Issac Sumdac's personal laboratory. She mysteriously appeared, with no clear sign of break in. Upon touching her, Sari glowed brightly, absorbed Isaac's DNA, and sent out an electric shock that knocked him out. This is very important. Why? Because up into this point, we didn't know Protoforms had that capability.

(Excerpt taken from the All Spark Almanac) Protoforms were born from primeval pools of protoform metal on Cybertron and assumedly, without genetic influence from biological parents. Unless implanted with another being’s DNA. (Like the Starscream and Omega clones) But Sari's case seems to point to them being able to take on genetic and physical traits from whoever has first contact with them. The process is evidently quite powerful as well, since it knocked Issac out cold and resulted in him gaining a white streak in his hair.

Now, to be clear, Sari could be an outlier. This ability may not be in all Cybertronian Protoforms. There's evidence that absorbing others powers and weapons may be her unique super power. (As shown in how once upgraded, she somehow has acquired the ability to produce a hammer like Ultra Magnus's, and was reportedly going to have weapons matching other Autobots as well, in season 4.) This idea is further enforced in the TFcon exclusive story Return of Blurr, were she merges with Blurr's cubed form and gained his speed abilities.

However, when Prowl explains Sari's origin to Issac and the others, he doesn't seem the least bit surprised that Sari absorbed his DNA. Furthering the idea this is normal for Protoforms.

(Please excuse the poor YouTube subtitles. Lol.)

So, for the sake of this theory, let's assume that all protoforms have this ability (in some form) and carry on.

THE DINOBOTS

Next up, the Dinobots. Robots that were created by Megatron, but somehow gained sentience assumedly through the All Spark Key, and the Cybertronian technology Issac Sumdac implanted in them. The Dinobots are technically at protoform age, seeing that as of their debut episode they had just been "born". It's quite obvious in how they talk they don't know much about their world and are very impressionable.

Now, if we look back at the previous evidence we listed. Something starts to click. The three bots that had the most contact with them are Megatron, Prowl, and Bulkhead.

Megatron's workmanship is evidently in their color schemes, mostly reddish tones and grey like him. This makes sense, since he cold constructed them. (E.I. they weren't born from Cybertron’s hot spots naturally and he had influence in designing their bodies.) But what about things like their faces? This is where it gets weird. Megatron assumedly didn't plan for them to be sentient or be able to transform, since he referred to them as attack drones. He was also surprised they could talk. And his blueprints of them didn't have bot forms included.

So he didn't have a hand in designing their bot forms. Those were granted to them through the All Spark. (Perhaps it granted them some sort of protoform? Or something not quite a typical Protoform but either similar DNA absorption abilities.)

The main point is this. Seemingly, the two bots that touched them the most, were Prowl and Bulkhead. Two bots they share physical traits with. With all the evidence we've gathered so far, it would seem they absorbed Prowl and Bulkhead's DNA, like Sari did with Issac! Meaning they could be related the same way!

IMPLICATIONS

Now that we’ve covered all that evidence, I think we should take a quick look at the implications of this process. It could lead to some VERY interesting theories about Cybertronian life cycles and Protoforms. Especially explaining characters like Wheelie, who is classified explicitly as an "orphan", meaning he is without parents, (something Cybertronians apparently don't have typically) and is explicitly referred to as a child like Sari.

Meanwhile the other Protoforms look to be already adults and can take on adult forms. This hints at perhaps there being two types of protoforms. Ones already aged to adulthood and ready for the world. And ones that are less mature and perhaps raised by biological parents or caretakers. Perhaps the ability to absorb other beings traits (without outside help), is something only very young newly forged Protoforms can do.

(Pictured below, Sari’s Protoform compared to the ones in the Cyberninja dojo)

It would also seem that they need to have sparks as well, since the protoform Prowl grabbed from the chamber was Sparkless and didn’t shock him or absorb his DNA. (Sorry for the horrendous screenshot. It's the best I had.😅) They must be alive for this phenomenon to occur.

OR, this could merely be because the Protoform was already matured to a point where it no longer had that ability. We may never know.¯⁠\⁠_⁠(⁠ツ⁠)⁠_⁠/⁠¯

CONCLUSION

We’ve finally made it to the end! Yay! :D Lol. Now, I know this theory most likely has MULTIPLE problems and canon contradictions with it. But I thought it was kinda neat regardless. And I tried to make it as water tight as possible. Regardless if this theory works or not, I'm happy you took the time to enjoy it! Please drop a comment about your own thoughts bout this if you like! I'd love to hear it! (My only request is that you are polite and respect other people's opinions.👍)

Thanks for reading!

[teaboot]

What are "transmasc" and "genderqueer"?

I just woke up so bear with me, but like

Western society has invented this idea of "man" and "woman", right? And we SAY it's actually real, and based on tangible things like sex characteristics- primary, like dicks n' hoo-has- and secondary, like tiddies an facial hair an cellulite.

Well, it turns out that those things ain't divided "correctly" into the man and woman categories all the time.

People with dicks sometimes get tiddies, people without dicks sometimes grow beards and chest hair, beauty standards like "woman thin and hairless and short with small nose and tiny feet" and "man tall and muscular with a beard and broad shoulders" aren't appearing in nature the way we say they should.

(These gendered standards also change over time, but that's a different post.)

What's more, some people have multiple primary characteristics, and it's not even super rare! (Again, worth a different post, and not one I'm really in a position to make.)

So, we say that we didn't just "invent" two exclusive boxes to sort a wide variety and spectrum of characteristics into by pure brute force, but evidence says otherwise. So do we change the rules of our society to fit that evidence?

No, we pick something else to support our beliefs.

Learning about genes and DNA and chromosomes came much later in the game, so most people's grasp of it is this: Men have XY chromosomes, women have XX chromosomes, and no matter what your body is shaped like, that determines which box you go in. Whatever you look like should be padded or amputated or shaved away until you fit in your box.

Except.... we now know that people who outwardly appear to be the perfect ideal poster children of "man" and "woman" are living full, natural, healthy and unbothered lives totally unaware that they have the "wrong" chromosomes. No visibly "mixed" characteristics at all. So there goes that idea out the window.

Unless we say that no, our invention which is fact still holds up- there's just a few mutants and freaks and dysfunctional anomalies that just sort of happen sometimes, like factory flaws that wouldn't exist if things were running as they should.

So what do we do with factory flaws? We "fix" them. Or pressure them to fix themselves. Or, if they can "pass" one way or another, shove them into that box and tell them to shut up about it. Don't fit into either? Then pick one, and make yourself fit.

But... then, if we can pick... if hairy women with flat chests and small hips can shave themselves down and throw on some padding and powder her face to be accepted.... why can't anyone else?

Or, if that same "woman" went, fuck it, cut his hair short and embraced all the "man" characteristics, went by different pronouns and stepped into the "man" box... wouldn't that be okay, too?

And, he'll, what if they changed nothing about themselves and decided to opt out? We've proven that these "universal facts" don't *actually* exist and exceptions are everywhere, so fuck it, right? "Man" and "woman" don't really mean anything tangible anyways, so why not do what makes you happy?

And since, again, evidence shows that "man" and "women" aren't perfect binary boxes with perfect binary traits- why bother living up to those traits at all? Why can't someone assigned to the "woman" box live in the "man" box with long hair and heels on? If I makes him happy, what's the harm?

We don't like this, though, because when you build two boxes that contain the whole world, and people start escaping, or slipping out to live in the one they like more, or switching, or building their own, people begin to wonder why they're living in boxes at all. If we even need boxes.

And the people who maintain the boxes tell us, it's because the boxes are safe, and the boxes are natural, and the boxes have been here exactly as they are since the beginning of time anyways, and NO, they aren't just terrified of life outside the shelter of the box, you're the weird one.

Meanwhile, if we really looked into it, I imagine we'd find more people who don't fit their box criteria, or don't even like their box, at least as often as we find people who do.

Transgender means "someone who isn't in their assigned box".

Genderqueer means, "someone who isn't in their assigned box", but in a the same broad way that "transgender" is- Maybe a him, maybe a her, maybe both, maybe a they, perhaps a xey, and sometimes some of us move around.

I say I'm genderqueer, 'cause that fits me, but "Transmasc" to me personally means, "I know I'm not a woman, and I'm closer to the "man" box, but I'm happier wandering outside the "man" box than I am stepping fully inside. (Dysphoria is part of that, but again, in my opinion it's not vital to the experience.)

And I'm not one for destroying those two boxes entirely- they bring joy to a lot of people.

Just, you know. Maybe making more, different boxes. And maybe little camps out between them. And not treating people who roam the wilderness instead like rabid animals. Is the thing.

Long answer

[ssa-dado]

Hi! So following up from your (incredible) breakdown of Hotch's apartment, I've always wondered why stayed in the apartment to raise Jack after Foyet/100 and I'd love to hear your thoughts about it!

Obviously, his and Haley's marital house was out after everything but the same apartment he got stabbed in is wild to me and to then to Jack who was held hostage by the guy who stabbed Hotch by the dining table? I get if it was for security with less points of direct entry but Foyet got in??? Is there a garden or green space for Jack to play in? Does Hotch do a background check on all new tenants?

Anyway, this is not anti-apartment slander because I happily live in one myself but I'm so interested in why Hotch would since he clearly has the means (Rolex watches are not cheap lmao) and this feels like the right platform to discuss it haha what do you think?

Breaking down Hotch's apartment layout until someone from Criminal Minds slides into my DMs with the damn floorplans: (The Empire Strikes Back)

I’ve thought about this a lot (maybe too much) and I honestly believe Hotch stayed in that apartment building for a mix of reasons. It’s not just one thing. Maybe one factor weighed heavier than the others, but ultimately, I picture him doing one of those classic pros and cons lists, like the fussy man he is, and letting the whole picture guide the decision... does it make sense??

Now, if we look at the architectural typology of his building, we know it follows a comb-plan layout - meaning it features two semi-enclosed, semi-public green spaces that are open toward the street. (I even made a little sketch to visualize it because I’m a visual learner... Like, I don’t know what “Hotch’s hands” means until I see them. Someone please send references...pls???)

That said, the green spaces aren’t the reason he stayed. Sure, the building has them, but they’re likely shared among all tenants, mostly decorative, and maybe even off-limits in terms of actual use (some buildings do that.. yikes). Plus, they’re super open to the street, which means they’re not really safe or private enough for Jack to play in.

So I don’t think the green spaces themselves were the selling point.

I think he stayed because of the overall architectural quality of the building. It's a historic structure (from mid 1920s-1930s??) that’s been carefully restored, updated with 21st-century systems and amenities, and built with high-quality materials and finishes. Maybe there’s a park nearby where Jack can actually play safely. Maybe it’s closer to his school. It also doesn’t strike me as a suburban area, which could be another plus - city life offers access to public transportation, shops, cultural spaces, sports activities… all of which might've played into the decision.

I am so so so so here for this headcanon and I fuck so much with the background check idea because yes, he absolutely asked Garcia for help and no, he doesn’t think that was an overstep. It was a precaution. For Jack.

Also, I’m convinced he’s very active in the tenant community.

He’s the one who created the condo group chat - no one asked him to, but it’s impeccably organized, with pinned messages and!!! a color-coded spreadsheet of recycling days (I'm European, this is wired into my DNA, sorry) he made himself at 3 a.m. on Excel. He barely answers texts from his team, but the second someone reports “unusual noises near the trash chute,” he’s replying in 0.3 seconds with “What time? Which floor?”

Sure, he’s fussy about noise (especially when he’s actually home) but he’s also the one everyone turns to when the building manager starts power-tripping or the garbage hasn't been collected. You’ve got a broken washing machine? Hotch already emailed the landlord and the building’s legal obligation clause. Trash not yeeted? He’ll yeet it himself. The man has a complex Google Drive dedicated to tenant rights #prosecutor!Hotch

I will die on the hill he is a chatty grandma. Sure, he’s serious, but he knows everyone’s business, and somehow people trust him with their extra keys and gossip. He's fbi, he's cunty, he has great hair... hello???

(Like, you knock on his door and say, “Sorry to bother-” and he’s already saying, “Your cat escaped again? He's in apartment 127, do you need anything else?”)

Another reason I think he stayed in that apartment is because, most likely between s3 and 4, he started spending some time there with Jack. I’m not sure how the co-parenting with Haley worked logistically, but I can easily imagine him having Jack over on weekends when he wasn’t working, or at least trying to carve out that time. And that apartment became part of Jack’s routine, part of what "home" felt like to him, Hotch probably couldn’t bring himself to move.

I don’t think Hotch stayed there for himself. Psychologically of course, it’s not the healthiest choice (he was literally stabbed there by Foyet) but it is the best choice for his son. And unless you’re talking about his job, Jack always comes first.

And Hotch… Hotch always comes last.

I think he bottled everything up. I don’t even think he fully let himself consider that the apartment might be an unhealthy place to stay in. If the thought of moving did ever cross his mind, I’m almost certain it wasn’t about him. It wasn’t “I don’t feel safe here,” it was: What if someone breaks in again? What if Jack’s here? What if it happens when I’m not home?

He stayed because Jack knew that place. Because changing homes again would be another loss. Another shift. Another instability. And Hotch would rather carry the weight of that trauma alone than risk making his son feel displaced.

Sooooo... yep. That's it. I guess.

Thank you so so so so much for the ask!!! I'm so so so curious to know what are YOUR! thoughts!!