#and also i think he genuinely would change given a gentle prod in the right direction

[monstermoviedean]

i'm not saying dean hasn't said or done some shitty things but for me. for me. i think if someone said "hey that hurt my feelings" or "that's fucked up man" he would immediately stop, apologize, and cease that behavior in the future. and that doesn't have to matter to other people but it does matter to me.

[overnighttosunflowers]

I've been thinking a lot about that interaction between Laudna and Orym in episode 102. How it starts with Orym saying "I'm so sorry that the world is moving so fast that we couldn't take the time to help you."

There's a certainty to that framing that is very typical of Orym. Not "I'm sorry the world is moving so fast that we didn't take the time to help you." They couldn't take the time. The mission comes first, second, and third until they've seen it through. 

Now, it's hardly a revolutionary observation that Orym's worldview comes from a particular combination of military training, survivor's guilt, and calcified grief that is ultimately self-destructive. It's also not a revolutionary observation that the party has not quite realized this, or not in so many words. They tend to treat his perspective as the only one unshakeable by personal failing. Later in that conversation in 102, Laudna even tells Orym that if someone needed to "finish the job, put me down," she'd wanted it to be him, because she knows he has the ability to do what's right.

His friends think of him as the only one who isn't a powder keg waiting to go off, but it has gone off, with Orym secretly and self-destructively pledging himself to Nana Morri in order to keep his friends alive. Betraying his friends' trust in favor of the mission. And in the end it didn't accomplish anything.

I think of Orym as someone who holds multiple truths at once. First and foremost there's a soldier's truth, the grim relentlessness that's all that keeps him going sometimes. But we've seen Orym be soft, too. He's gentle. He loves his friends. It's there underneath the grim layers of suppression. We saw it more early campaign. I don't think that he was lying in 49 when he told Imogen that he wasn't worried about her just hours after conspiring with Fearne to take her out if necessary. I think he wanted so, so badly to discount that soldier POV and buy all the way into trusting Imogen. But he couldn't. And I don't know if he was able to reconcile that. I think he genuinely believed both. Liam has said that before the events of this campaign reactivated Orym's trauma, he was legitimately on a path to healing his grief. I think that a healthier Orym would have been able to set down the soldier's truth to simply trust Imogen.

But that's not where the campaign took us. At the Malleus Key in episode 51, Orym collected a locket from a dead Vanguard soldier to remind himself that the enemy are still human. And then after Bor'dor died, in episode 63, he dropped it. Locking in on that soldier's truth. Making that deal with Morri. Not letting his friends stop and rest when they need it badly. Pressuring Imogen to give in to Predathos on the moon so that they could learn more.  

There's a grim run of episodes where Orym is stuck like that, prioritizing his soldier's truth and suppressing the part of him that is his heart. Now, I'm not someone who needs to always feel warmly towards a character or agree with their choices to appreciate their depth and role in the story, and I respect what Liam was doing there. The willingness of the CR cast to have their characters make messy and unpopular choices is one of the things I appreciate most about the show, and one of the things that leads us to the richest and most meaningful moments of character arc resolution. 

But that's where I've been frustrated with Orym: by and large, resolution has not been coming. He's been driving deeper and deeper into his traumatized worldview, clinging to it and stubbornly refusing to hear challenges to it. Repeatedly shutting down arguments by mentioning his dead family. I get it, and I feel for him, and I don't know how else Liam could be playing it given the story that Orym is in and the character that he is—not least a soldier whose training tells him never to question the mission. But, god, I'm ready for the growth. Ready for the story to prod Orym in directions that change. Ideally a shift towards a healthier perspective, but even hitting such a low that the Hells can't help but recognize that Orym's rigid morality is as destructive as it is sustaining. That will make them push back on him.

Because telling Orym he's the good one reinforces his worst instincts, increases the pressure he puts on himself, makes him double down. What he needs is someone to push back. He needs that increasingly brittle sense of his own lens as morally superior and righteous to shatter. 

And I am so, so excited for it to happen—because we're starting to see it starting to crack, just a little. In episode 92, he acknowledged to Imogen that his lens is a lens and not simple objective truth, and even implied it's one he wishes he knew how to set down: 

And now, when Laudna tells him he knows best of all how to do what's right, he admits it again: not a lot of his choices have panned out.

And it's true. They haven't. And I hope he keeps on saying it.

I'm glad to have Dorian back and on a revenge quest against the gods, because Orym trusts Dorian and Dorian is not going to let him sit unchallenged in his own convictions the way the rest of the Hells have been. I'm excited to see more of Braius, who not only disagrees with Orym about the Primes, but also doesn't have the same vested interest as the rest of the party in seeing Orym as good. I hope they both push back on him. I hope it unsettles him and confuses him and breaks his worldview and soldier identity enough that when the pieces come back together, instead of scarring over a second time, they can simply finally heal.

[cosmicjoke]

Okay, chaptere 53 of Saezuru. Whew, that was a LOT. Where to even start. Well, firstly, Tsunakawa's man telling Doumeki to keep his distance from Yashiro, and Doumeki telling him Yashiro is "just a guest", definitely presents a coming conflict.

Doumeki is having a harder and harder time maintaining his act of indifference toward Yashiro, and Yashiro himself has started to notice, calling Doumeki out on it. He's prodding him here, I think, in order to see just how genuine Doumeki's indifference toward him is. I think Yashiro wants desperately to believe that Doumeki still cares for him. He keeps thinking back to four years ago, when Doumeki was so gentle. He's wondering here, if Doumeki really doesn't care about him anymore, why is he getting so angry whenever Yashiro sleeps with anyone other than him. The difficulty, I think, is that Yashiro seems to conclude that Doumeki is angry at him in general, and that's the reason he isn't treating Yashiro like he used to. Once again, it seems to me that Yashiro is blaming himself for Doumeki's attitude shift. I feel like this adds weight to the idea that Yashiro believes he's driven Doumeki to hate him, or at least to lose his feelings for him, and so once again, Yashiro is left feeling despondent and alone.

Of course, given that we get a few panels at the start of this chapter showing Doumeki is anything but indifferent toward Yashiro, thinking of them having sex, looking at Yashiro fondly while he sleeps, etc... we know he still has the same feelings he always did. I just wish Doumeki would show that to Yashiro, because as I'll get into in a second here, his cold demeanor is starting to wear Yashiro down and, I think, drive him deeper into uncertainty and resignation.

Doumeki exposed his true feelings to Nanahara, incidentally, when he asked him if Yashiro is unwell. Nanahara is a sharp guy, so what he says later to Yashiro, about thinking Doumeki hasn't actually changed all that much, isn't surprising. But we see Yashiro get angry at Nanahara for saying such, because he isn't aware of Doumeki asking after his health, and is himself becoming more and more distraught over Doumeki's continued coldness toward him. It culminates here in Yashiro saying he "doesn't care" where it is Doumeki is going, and expressing frustration and annoyance with Doumeki's attitude. Of course, we know Yashiro cares deeply, so I don't expect his claim of detachment to last long, especially if he finds out where Doumeki is actually going, and what Inami said to him on the phone.

I have no idea what's going to be on that tape, other than it's likely Yashiro is a compromised position sexually. Inami seems to be aware that leaking that sort of tape wouldn't, in and of itself, matter much to Yashiro, given his general reputation. But I think Inami is aware that whatever is on it will be very upsetting to Doumeki, and given Doumeki's reactions recently, and in the past, to Yashiro being sexually abused or just having sex with other men, I think he's right. I think Inami believes that showing whatever's on this tape to Doumeki might make Doumeki turn on Yashiro. Of course, it won't. But I do wonder what it is, and what Doumeki's response will be. He might kill Inami, or he might decide to become even more distant from Yashiro, given what he knows about Tsunakawa's attitude toward Yashiro, combined with whatever he sees on this tape. I just have a bad feeling, overall. And then I wonder what Yashiro's response to all this will be. He believes Doumeki is angry at him, and I think he maybe also believes that Doumeki's anger is coming from a feeling of disgust at Yashiro's sexual behavior. Maybe Yashiro is starting to think Doumeki no longer likes him because he's begun to form the same attitudes of other Yakuza, that is, seeing him as some sort of sexual deviant or a public toilet, so to speak, something beneath consideration or respect.

So if there's something on this tape that's really ugly, that shows Yashiro being raped or something similar, and Yashiro finds out that Doumeki has seen it, he might panic and feel like any chance of regaining Doumeki's love is even more out of reach. Depending on how Doumeki reacts to it, assuming he sees it at all, it could also reinforce that belief in Yashiro. Either way, it's just a bad situation all around. Inami's seeming excitement at Doumeki coming to see him also doesn't sit well with me. He knows Doumeki could kill him easily, but he doesn't seem at all worried about that. So he could be planning something else as well. Basically, I just don't trust Inami. He's a complete psychopath. I'm also wondering who that waiter is that was listening in on Nanahara and Yashiro in the restaurant. I've got a bad feeling about that too. Is he part of Yamakawa's group? And if so, does that mean Nanahara and Yashiro are going to be attacked while Doumeki is away? There's just a lot going on here, and it's all pretty concerning.

Great chapter, as always. It's incredibly dense this time around. I'll have to re-read it and think about it more.

Also, just an addition. Yashiro thinks "With that curse, I'm constantly searching for the old you.", after recalling what Doumeki said to him four years ago, "So you need only me. So you want only me.". I think Yashiro is referring to the fact that Doumeki got his wish, that Yashiro only wants him now. He's ruined other men for him, essentially. I think, if Doumeki would just prove he's the same man he always was, Yashiro would give himself over to him fullyheartedly. But Doumeki has changed, or so Yashiro believes. He wants the old Doumeki, the Doumeki that once treated him gently. But again, it seems like that Doumeki is gone, and Yashiro doesn't know how to get him back. He can see Doumeki is angry, but whether he realizes that anger is coming from jealousy, or because Doumeki is disgusted by him, I don't know. Yashiro knows something is up with Doumeki, but each time the old Doumeki seems to peak through, the indifferent mask comes back down, and throws Yashiro for a loop. It's his hot and cold, back and forth signals that I think is making Yashiro so despondent. One moment, there seems to be some kind of hope, and the next, all hope seems lost. I think that's why Yashiro is so angry and upset by the end of this chapter.

One more addition. Yashiro's reaction to Inami telling him to come to him to get the information says it all, doesn't it? He's so resigned to it, but so clearly doesn't want it. Yashiro is still struggling so much with having any sense of self-worth, I think, and it's because of things like this. People using and abusing him, and thinking they have a right to it. The fact that Yashiro continues to accept it speaks to his own, low sense of self-worth, which really breaks my heart. Doumeki at least seems to realize that Yashiro needs protection from this, from letting himself be used by others.

[essayofthoughts]

Thinking back to when you kept getting asks about nigh every Percy ship imaginable... but I don’t think I've ever seen you prodded about one.

How do you think Percy would have reacted if Pike had piped up about her feelings? In what context vould you see it happening?

Hell, how would *Vex* have reacted (given Pike pointedly didnt tell Vex or Kiki during that girl talk)- Pike is someone both of them seem to understand as being more good/more deserving of good, so it would be fun to see 'Pike is awesome and deserves the best' conflict with 'nooooooooo'.

I can't see it as ever being more than a one-sided interest, but I can't help but wonder what knowing about it would do to Percy's internal states, and potentially party dynamics if word got out or if their behavior changed as a result.

So I think this depends hugely on when it comes out and who it comes out to. As you say, Pike didn't tell Vex and Kiki, and she didn't even tell Grog when he asked. Thinking long and hard over it (you sent this several days ago) I have come to the conclusion that shortly before the Feywild would be Interesting mostly because that places it before Percy fully realises he loves Vex, after that girl talk you mentioned (ep57) and I think that'd make the most interesting combo?

Because... I think it might prompt Percy to realise his feelings for Vex sooner and probably feel guilty about them because that means hurting Pike's feelings. So... Percy might even feel a bit more relieved about the Feywild, because initially at least, Pike wasn't coming with them.

And then she does. And Vex is very perceptive and while I don't know that she'd 100% guess what had happened... I think she's smart enough to put together Pike's words and Percy's awkwardness and I think that'd make her more hesitant to ask for Percy's help with things? Because friends code of "don't make a move on someone you know a friend is interested in" - except she doesn't know for sure, she's guessing, but Vex is often really considerate of people and their private feelings or what they tell her in confidence.

So it might take a bit more gentle probing on Percy's part for Vex to tell him about Syngorn, if she does at all, and it might prevent the titling depending on if Vex talks and how self-conscious Percy is about how it could look. It might even mean Vex is more willing to consider Saundor's deal - unless Percy speaks up during the meeting with Syldor which is unlikely because Percy doesn't like interposing himself between his friends and danger. He trusts and respects them and to do that without being asked to would imply he doesn't trust their ability to handle something. Maybe he and Vex have a talk after the Syldor meeting instead, him trying to reassure her she is more than what her father thinks of her. Who knows.

And in turn with Percy I think Pike confessing feelings would kind of fuck him up a bit? Partly because this would be right on the heels of Scanlan proposing to Pike and also partly because he wouldn't understand why Pike has such feelings. It's one thing for them to be friends - they've been through a lot together, they trust each other, of course they're friends - but I don't think he gets why it'd become anything more. I think there's a part of him that'd wonder if it comes from a desire to fix him or even pity and Percy is prickly so while I think he might be a bit standoffish with Pike at least until she de-astrals and he gets some space to process things.

And...

I mean Ashley never brought up who it was during the stream and in the Campaign Wrap-Up she explained why Pike caught feelings which, it seems, was a slight hope of "we can fix him" and a bit of just... spending a lot of time dwelling on him and his wellbeing, most likely during the Briarwoods Arc. She was specifically concerned about his darkness and praying for him, and I think part of her not wanting to bring it up is knowing that wanting to help someone isn't necessarily the best basis for a genuine romantic relationship. So for her to say something, she'd have to have some genuine cause to think Percy is mending - perhaps, like Vex, she spots the blood behind his ear but doesn't talk to him about it - and that her feelings will persist - perhaps she responded differently to Scanlan's proposal.

The thing is, I don't really know how she'd go about confessing feelings to Percy because sure, we all talk about how Vex and Percy compartmentalise and hide their trauma behind confident masks, but whoo boy, Pike is really private about feelings too? So I don't actually know what would be likely to prompt it or how she'd go about it, though I do think that if she'd been at Glintshore that... that would have been interesting.

All in all, I don't know that it'd change much? At least not if we assume best outcomes. I think it'd slow and stall a few things, but I think Glintshore would shake it out back towards canon.

Assuming worst outcomes, however, which I know is one of your preferred spaces *winkwink* then we might end up with tree-creature Saundor-linked Vex and her getting burned to a crisp against Thordak.

[nodameshield]

how are we doing? have the tears dried yet? I know mine haven’t :: 

let’s start light : research fellows count ! (also, lady, only ten years old? - I resent that).

Goh understands this?? he’s got a silly proud smile and it’s following Ash’s butchered storytelling??? love 

research fellows count ! 

perfectly attainable dream 

sure, go for it.  (look at both of their supportive lil smiles, we love best friends) 

we all know the scene that’s coming ahead, but I thought this was a beautiful demonstration of growth already on Goh’s side.

Listen before the sad part begins let us appreciate for a moment how Ash and Goh were smiling at EACH OTHER after the interview was over. cuties. 

behold : the last frame we have of baby Sobble. I’m going to miss you, bean. thank you for everything<3 (he was so proud of his good deed as well!! my very heart) 

just how fast the night changes, indeed.

Drizzle went through shock and pain at record speed and swiftly landed on anger - only to fall into ✨depression✨ just as quickly.

and then we just stayed there.

someone 

is 

(oh hey Cinderace ! good to see ya)

having  

a rough morning

 (I’m sorry, this scene was just fucking funny - the drama)

Cinderace’s proud big bro moment was just too sweet to leave out - let us not forget, he’s been a big bro since he was Raboot (and even as a temperamental Raboot, he was always gentle to Sobble). And now his baby bro has evolved as well. precious ! 

Goh handled this situation very maturely from the beginning. And here’s when the build up starts. He’s saying ‘hey, let me help you how I think you need to be helped” and he genuinely doesn’t mean any harm! naturally, his reaction is to help his Pokémon, in the way that has worked in the past.

but then he starts to understand maybe that’s not the best approach this time around.

and he’s ready to respect those new boundaries (of course, there’s no blame on Cinderace, either. Much like Goh, he - and everyone, really - was just trying to help in the way he thought was the best).

shoutout to the animation on this bit because Pikachu’s ears darting down was a delightful detail. Chloe’s expression and Grookey’s simmering down drove the point home as well.

ah, you coy little thing. Did you forget how your trainer almost left you behind because of how rebellious you were??? Because you made him feel as though you’d be better off without him?? (Cinderace has selective memory, you can’t change my mind, don’t be miss-leaded by the cuteness)

this build up was wonderful - we begin to hear all these reasons why, yeah? maybe he just wants to be alone.

maybe he’s still very afraid and careful of his surroundings, and his evolution made it worse? (he’d been popping up in random places in previous episodes, hiding, which was also great foreshadowing for this episode !) 

maybe he’s cocooning himself until he’s ready to evolve again? (which, considering his disappointment and how badly he wanted to be Inteleon already, is a very plausible reason)

but Prof. Cerise gets it right when he says ‘we can’t really know for sure’ (which ties greatly with Goh’s upcoming scene) - is it your Drizzle’s quirk? are they all like this? who cares? Isn’t wonderful how he’s a living creature? how he’s got nuances and a personality? shouldn’t that be enough of a reason to look after him, and try to help him right now?

my child, still thinking he’s got to do everything on his own.

and these two are just like ????? Goh ??? watchu talking about ???

can you imagine how MUCH this moment means to him?? he was ready to keep going alone (it’s what he knows) and even when Ash and Chloe prove him, time and time again, that he’s not alone, there’s still something in Goh coded to believe others won’t care as much/won’t be there when he needs them. and that’s why he insists: I’ve got this. I can do it alone.

and, sure, but you don’t have to. that’s the beauty of friendship.

you tell him, Chloe. (actually, without Chloe calling him out, he might have taken longer to figure out where Drizzle was. so...) // but also, it gives us a glimpse into the fact that, while Goh might have felt very lonely, Chloe has been observing and caring for him - in her way - for a long minute as well.

my very point above. 

HEY, LISTEN: he doesn’t know, either. he’s a child, words are hard, and you rotate along the four moods of childhood (happy, upset, scared, hungry (?)) and don’t ponder much on anything else because you are a child, there’s no emotional intelligence to speak of, no need for it, you’re being shaped by your environment and all the stimuli of the world being a new place. things like loneliness, confusion, anxiety... we can’t put those into words - hell, they’re fucking abstract and confusing even when we are adults.

and Goh’s stimuli and environment was, given what we know of his family life, a rather lonely one. Did his parents have a lot of spare time to take him to the park? I don’t think so. Was he good at going out there and asking other kids to play? ... probably not. 

Chloe doesn’t strike me as an extrovert, either, so even if she wanted to get close to Goh or invite him to hang out, perhaps she was too shy as well. Heck, perhaps Goh’s reaction would’ve been like the one above, he simply didn’t know. Maybe he didn’t want to ! and that’s perfectly fine as well.

am I forgiving the anipoke team for making Goh cry? no, never. but this was beautifully executed so I can grow to live with it.

“why are you depressed?” “you have nothing to be sad about!” “look at all the wonderful things you have!” “just be happy again!” - sound familiar? yeah, this was incredibly well done.

as adults, perhaps we see this and think ‘shit, how cool that they’re prodding on these topics, it’s important’ and it is !!! so important !! but if it’s this impactful as young-adults/grown-ups, imagine how impactful it must be as a child to see this and feel perceived. I’m honestly so proud of this moment, this whole episode. I’m grateful they took the time to look into this maturely. and even if children don’t do a full-fledged analysis on it, if they relate (like I know so many of us did) they won’t forget it. and that’s beautiful.

darling I’m blanking on your TW handle I’m so sorry - but someone in a tweet SO RIGHTFULLY pointed out that these are the words Goh would have needed to hear when he was younger. saying them to Drizzle it’s a full circle moment for him, he’s hearing them as well, and it’s helping both of them grow.

He’s not forcing himself as Drizzle’s trainer. Goh bears no entitlement here. He’s saying ‘Hey, if you’re comfortable, if you want to share , I’ll be here’ / as a kid, people did care for him, they kept wanting to know what was going on, but Goh couldn’t put that in words and people pestering him only made it worse, but if someone had said ‘hey, when you’re ready...’ then,,,,yeah,,,,maybe it would’ve been different. 

he’s offering that safety now to his Pokémon, something he didn’t have, but he grew to understand is what he (and now Drizzle) needed. If that doesn’t have you breaking down in a teary mess then you are stronger than I’ll ever be, because my glasses were cloudy by this point.

why, why, why. because you needed to hear all that as well, baby! so did a number of us. thank you.

I’ll say that, however it was that you connected with this moment, that’s yours to cherish. 

Personally, I too had a lonely childhood marked by parents who overworked, and I too spent a lot of time alone in kindergarten and through elementary school because it was hard to make friends (turns out i’m an extrovert, ha, talk about breaking out of your shell...) so, obviously there were easy common grounds for me in this episode.

but I LOVED to read the reactions and realize so many people still connected with it, one way or the other. So many of us felt seen and understood and acknowledged in emotions that are so hard to put into words !! 

so, again, if you identified with Goh or Drizzle or any of the topics in this episode, that’s very beautiful, and I hope the underlying message that you’re not alone gets through.

With Sobble, and now with Drizzle as well, Goh is very adamant to remind us that, however we are, that’s fine. there’s something that makes us special, regardless of other people’s opinions, or their ideas of how we *should be* // that’s the message I’m taking with me, at least.

 and i can’t wait to see how this story line evolves !! I have no doubts that, when the moment comes, Inteleon will be a wonderful addition to the team, but Drizzle is here now, and he’s plenty wonderful already x

Bonus: 

ha ha, yes. I watched this episode three times. And all three times I was a mess.

side note but a very important one: the animation, the voice acting, the dialog, the scenery of the starry night - the entire scene was so beautifully executed. so  carefully crafted. ugh, amazing. just perfect. so happy.

[cherryblossomtease]

In The Fairest Season ~ Part 4

18+ only

warnings summary masterlist

Chapter Warnings - mild graphic violence

~LATE AUGUST~

Bird song usually soothes you in the mornings.

Your bed is near the window and when the nurse leaves it open you can feel the cool breeze and hear the sparrows, but this morning you’re in pain and you wish you could quiet the little beasts.

You had a nightmare, that must be what it is. Your dreams have always been vivid, ever since you were a child. So much so that they set the tone for your day.

This one is a replaying of the night you almost died. You’ve had it before, for better or worse it is typically the same, but this time, he was there just watching as the butcher hacked away.

You woke with your pulse racing, scared for a while until the sparrows calmed you, and then the pain kicked in and now you are just angry.

It isn’t true. You know he’s the one paying for your care or else you would have been sent home weeks ago.

Instead you have a private nurse and this beautiful room on this quiet floor far from the chaos below with a doctor who speaks kindly when he comes to do his rounds.

He checks your wound which is a specific form of torment you would not wish on your enemy. It is too hard for you to speak when he asks how you feel, but you write with chalk on the little slate they’ve given you and when he is done prodding, they give you fresh bandages and let you sleep.

Eating slowly becomes easier too— when you have an appetite.

Turning your head from the bright light of day, you look at the vase on the table beside your bed and stare at the single dead rose.

It was the first thing you saw when you opened your eyes after your surgery. Someone had placed it on your bed while you slept after they stitched you back together and you’ve kept it, refusing to let them throw it away.

Once, you overheard the doctor say that the assailant was in a hurry. The theatre was a risky place to commit such a crime and get away with it. His careleness and your bouquet which took the impact of his assault kept you alive, but it would take time and rest before you could speak.

You still do not have the heart to ask him about singing.

*

Baron Zemo likes the hunt.

It’s been a while since he has, but not long enough that he’s forgotten how it’s done, or how much he enjoys it.

Patience and observation are his weapons and he’d spent the past few days using both.

The Baron had stripped away his fine clothes, concealing his wealth with worn shoes, a tattered coat and the hat of a man no one would notice. He left the pretty summer mansions behind, forgetting the charm of street lamps and manicured topiaries that decorate the parks, choosing instead to disappear into the bleak slums, quietly following the man whose name he’d gotten through his first round of cat and mouse which had ended very badly for the mouse.

Down he went over shit covered roads, dodging the beggars and dirty children, slipping in and out of the shadows like a predator that crouches in the tall grass before leaping to bite the neck of its victim.

He had stalked around this way for two nights. Thankfully this man -Karpov- is simple.

It will be over and done before midnight.

Pressing his back to the damp wall, the Baron keeps out of sight as Karpov stops at the entrance of an abandoned warehouse just off the water. He speaks with the old man sitting on a barrel and lights what’s left of a cigarette while they chat, the sound of gulls and gentle waves  deceptively tranquil.

Zemo watches him, staring at his plain face. He will never forget it, or the way he feels knowing that you have seen him too, and why.

Their voices fade though his eyes stay trained on his target, just  a sliver of his face showing around the corner in the dark, the memory of you onstage coming to him quickly.

He can see you so clearly, with your voice so bright and strong. It fills the music hall with the most beautiful sorrow he has ever heard, just when he needed it most…

Karpov may not have killed you —little bird— you are still alive, you are strong and healing even now. But he tried, and that is enough.

There is a righteous anger burning in the Baron’s heart that drives him—pushing him forward much as it did when he lost his wife and son. He won a war fueled by that rage and it is this same hurt that clears his head and keeps him steady. He is at his best when he is hunting those who deserve to die. This man, he thinks watching Karpov take a long drag, is most deserving.

So Zemo waits.

When Karpov finally goes in and the old man slumps down in a drunken sleep, Zemo slips on the mask he has not worn since the fighting at the borderlands and goes inside, making his way through the dark, his eyes quickly growing accustom to it.

He sticks to the shadows moving in through the fallen beams until he notices the silence. Karpov knows he's here. That’s all right.

“No use for that, I know who you are.” Comes Karpov’s voice in the distance.

The Baron smiles beneath his cover. “Then you also know why I’ve come.”

“I guess you’re mad about your little ingenue” He says the word making it sound crude.

“That is an act, only the role played on stage. She —is anything but.”

“All the same, you’ve got a score to settle with me….same as you did the ones that ripped your country apart. Come on then. Stop hiding.” Karpov says and the Baron hears how his voice wavers with fear.

He must truly knows who has come for him.

“What stories have you heard?” Zemo asks, curious as he walks past the wreckage. “What tales of war have made it all the way to your filthy ears?” He smirks. When he steps into the dim light of a barrel fire, the doomed man backs away.

Through the flames, Karpov catches his first glimpse of the Baron. He sees the long black coat with the white fur collar, similar to what the men wore to stay warm through the long winters of a northern war and the thick gloves to make gripping swords much easier. And finally, the mask that had become the stuff of legend between the fighters. Karpov may not have been there to see first hand, but he'd heard enough on the docks from the ones who traveled through, those few who survived...

Zemo's men rallied behind the mask and his enemies feared it. The entire time, none knew who the man that wore it was, the Baron had managed to keep this identity secret. They only knew that he was fearless and seemed to enjoy the killing when it kept others alive. Now Karpov knew— he did not expect to live long enough to tell the secret.

“You’re Baron Zemo.” He says awed. “The masked swordsman of Sokovia.” He grins with the discovery. “You’re the one who waits, and hunts.” His gold teeth gleam in the firelight. "And falls in love with little stage girls who forget their place." He says with a laugh, but that laugh is not genuine. He is trying very hard to stave off the inevitable.

Zemo squares his shoulders and fixes his eyes on his victim. It’s been a very long time since anyone has looked at him this way, but it is instantly familiar. All cowards make the same face right before they die. Still he is surprised and tilts his head, perhaps a little flattered that his war reputation has reached so far. He gives a single nod. “Yes… the patient man. With experience.” He adds and looks Karpov in the eye, his grin hidden beneath the mask. Why is he still standing here?

“Run.”

The man growls an angry response, he does not usually back down from a fight, but when the Baron steps around the fire, and draws his sword, Karpov forgets his own reputation in the slums and turns, fleeing up a set of crooked stairs, jumping over the places he knows won’t support him as he makes his was along the balcony of the next floor. The Baron stays put to watch; his brain doing the calculations to follow without stepping on a rotted or missing plank.

When the time is right he follows.

“I can smell you from here.” Zemo says into the dark as he climbs, his voice finding Karpov before he does.  They say predators can smell fear, perhaps the war has changed him more than he realized. And to think he used to be a peaceful man.“People seem to find joy in taking things from me.” Zemo says stepping onto the second floor. He pauses to listen so happy that the hunt is not over. This may be Karpov’s territory but what is a broken building to a man who has seen the end of the world. “Such careless, stupid ignorance.” Zemo scolds softly. “Better men than you have tried my friend. And I’m sure you know that happened to them. You see it is not what I did during the war that should frighten you. It’s what I did to the ones who caused the deaths of my family after the fact.” Karpov is breathing is too loud. He does know.

Zemo hears and pauses, going left to find him instead of right.

Karpov feels panic, he’s set something off inside of Zemo, something that had been quiet for so long. He should never have done it, but how could he have known that the Baron the little bitch snuck off with was this one!

And then a breeze, like the breath of an angel catches his hair, reminding him of another way out.

Not waiting to test fate, the man scuttles across the floor boards down a short hallway with the broken wall that leads to the water below. He stands gazing down not wanting to jump, but not wanting to die in a fight either.

It isn’t so very far, he thinks watching the gentle waves break on the planks of the warehouse. But those rocks… he is certain he will not be able to miss them. He will have to take a running leap. Gathering his courage he takes a step back.

“Tell me, how long do you think it took your friend to give you up?” Zemo asks, his voice as light as a feather in Karpov’s ear. “Just the threat of my blade and he told me your name. I still killed him of course."

Karpov shuts his eyes, angry that he’s missed his chance. The bastard Baron moves as quiet as a snake in the grass. “You killed Charlie?”

“Yes.” He says and begins to raise his sword.

Furious at being caught, Karpov gives a shout and swings back with an elbow, but Zemo ducks missing the swing, rising with a single attack. His trusted sword delivering silent death. He takes a step or two back and waits. He did not miss.

Karpov stands, his face contorting, he reaches as if the Baron might help. He is confused and then he realizes.

The blood looks black against his dirty shirt blooming like a rotted flower as it seeps from the wound to his heart. The color drains from Karpov's face.

Zemo looks him over and it comes on quickly. Rage and fear are such a powerful combination. As the dying man sputters, the Baron kicks his stomach hard enough to send Karpov through the broken wall.

Pulling the mask from his face, Zemo quickly goes to the edge of the building, leaning over in time to see the way Karpov’s body breaks on the black rocks, ruined and hardly recognizable as a man.

He stares down at the gore for far too long, his only thought being that Karpov’s accomplice Charlie had been shown a mercy when his throat was sliced. Though it was a just end for a man so fond of showing the same -kindness- to innocent women.

Turing away, Zemo sheaths his sword and slips his mask into his coat, sad to put it away, and starts back through the warehouse. Unsure that he’s done what you would want, he questions his actions, but he is certain that his own brand of justice has been served.

The men who would cause you harm are dead. And that is all that matters.

*

“Throw it out,” You say. It is the first time you’ve tried using your voice. The nurse is shocked that you’ve finally given in but she seems so pleased that you try; you are only angry with what you hear.

It sounds like a crow scratching at a window.

You hate the sound.

It’s never even occurred to you to love or hate your speaking voice, it’s just been there and pleasant enough, sort of soft and unassuming, so different from when you sing.

Everything has changed so quickly.

“Are you sure miss? You’ve kept it all this time.” She says, her kindness punctuated by her hand resting light on your shoulder.

You look up at the ceiling from your pillow in bed refusing to look at that silly rose anymore. It is a symbol of something that has been proven to be untrue.

One week spent with your fate unknown. Three weeks you’ve lain here recovering. In all that time he has not written or come to see you.

It is unexpected, you’re not sure what to make of it, but you assume the worst and try to adjust to living with a broken heart beneath a lost voice.

“I’m sure.”

[bitchloveskcbaseball]

Payback ~~ Happy Birthday Burns!!!!!!!

Pairing: Bryce Lahela x Casey Valentine

Series: The Bones

Series Note: Just a small housekeeping note... Working on this got me thinking about the chronology of this series and I came to the realization that Flirt and, by extension, this fic, fit in better before Surprise, so I have changed my masterlist to reflect that.

Summary: Casey figures out how Bryce can pay up on an unsettled IOU. A follow-up to Flirt.

Word Count: 5170 (helluva way to break 6 months of writer’s block LOL)

Warnings: Language (if this ever doesn’t appear here, send help because something is seriously wrong with me lmao)

Disclaimer: All characters belong to Pixelberry

A/N: Happy Happy Birthday @burnsoslow!!! This is 100% written for you and 100% because of you!!!! You requested fluffy Bryce and Casey and this is me hoping I have given that to you!! What?!?!? Not me struggling to write fluff without adding in that dash of angst I’m so fond of LMAO

I literally don’t know if there are words enough to express just how much I love and appreciate you, but this is me attempting to find them anyway 💜💜 From my very first crazy message all those months ago I know I should have come with a warning label... it fell off during transport so I am so very sorry about that LMAO, I have felt so unbelievably lucky that I have been able to get to know you. You are one of the most supportive people I have ever met. You are so kind and caring and genuine. You are also the coolest badass with an insanely awesome sense of humor. I love how we totally lose our minds over sports -- especially football lol -- together is it Sunday yet? this wait is fucking killing me and my nerves are already through the damned roof LMAO But what I love even more than that is the way we can talk about everything in between too -- all the ups and downs of everyday life. I truly treasure your friendship so so much and I hope your birthday is as amazing as you are!!! Love you!!!!!!!

A/N #2: Thank you soooooo much @bbrandy2002 for reading over this for me and calming my nerves over this!!!!

“Yo, B!”

“Yeah, babe?”

“Remember that IOU you still haven’t paid up on?”

The slight hesitation in Bryce’s voice gave him away even as he lied, “Uh…no? What are you talkin’ bout?”

Raising an eyebrow even though he was in his bedroom while she was in the living room, Casey prodded, “Sure ya do, love. It was after you hit on that poor, new surgical nurse and you somehow ended up making a date with her. I went with you and helped smooth the situation over because your whiny ass was terrified of having all of the surgical nurses pissed at you.”

He skulked into the living room and plopped down on the couch with her so that his head was laying in her lap. She knew the look he was giving her – hair flopped down just over his eyebrow while he was looking up through his lashes at her – was entirely deliberate as he muttered, “I thought maybe you’d decided that that whole fiasco was punishment enough.”

“Not even close, Bryce. I literally had to go explain to that poor girl that you were in a relationship with me while simultaneously making sure that she didn’t think you were a creep or a two-timing asshat. I deserve to get something outta that shit.”

“Ugh. Ok… fine. So…what kind of torture am I about to endure?”

Casey tried to shove Bryce’s head off of her lap, but he just wrapped his left arm around her back and laughed at her attempt. “You are impossible, you know this?”

“Yet you love me anyway.”

“Sometimes I really wonder why, though.”

He ran his hand lightly up under her shirt along her side, stopping when his thumb was able to brush the skin just below her bra. Just that simple touch was enough to have Casey’s breath catching and a self-satisfied smirk spread across his face. “Do you need a refresher course, Case?”

Summoning up all the inner strength she could find, Casey bit back the moan bubbling up the back of her throat and rolled her eyes exaggeratedly at him. “No, Bryce, I don’t. I know all about those magic hands” – another eye roll for emphasis – “of yours. Don’t think you are going to distract me into forgetting what this conversation is about.”

Bryce huffed out a sigh through the deep pout that had settled over his face and she had to bite the inside of her lip to keep a smile from breaking out over her own. She waited a few beats until he finally dropped his hand back down so it was resting against her hip before quirking an eyebrow up and leveling him with her best are-you-shitting-me stare. “Do you really think that you shouldn’t have to pay up after that bullshit, Bryce?”

“Ugh. Of course I know that I owe you for that. I was just… hoping that you would take pity on me and not cash it in.”

“I swear, sometimes it’s like you’ve never even met me before.”

A streak of pain shot across his face so quickly that if she hadn’t been watching him so closely, if she didn’t know him so well, she would have never even picked up on it. But she had and she did and it sent a stab of guilt rocketing through her so strongly, she almost tossed aside the ruse that she had taken so much care in plotting out. Rather than changing course completely, however, she opted for a slight detour to reassure him instead. “Love, you know I was only joking.” When Bryce tried to interrupt, she placed an index finger over his lips to silence him while she ran the fingers of her other hand soothingly through his hair. “You know me better than anyone in this world ever has. Ever will. Okay?”

Bryce’s eyes had slipped closed, a soft smile turning the corners of his lips up, as she spoke and Casey couldn’t help but trace her finger across his eyelids and then down across his lips. When she got to the middle of his lower lip, his lips parted and he gently nipped at the tip of her finger. The sudden move startled a breathless laugh from her and when she met his eyes again, they were full of mischief.

Shaking her head good-naturedly at him, she was about to scold him – playfully – when Bryce mirrored her earlier gesture and placed a finger across her lips. “I give, alright? Just take mercy on me and tell me what kind of penance I’m about to pay.”

“Do you always have to be so damned dramatic?”

“Case…”

“Fine! I need you to drive me to a meeting tomorrow morning.”

“Is … that it? Just a ride?”

Confusion knit his brows together and instinctively Casey ran her fingertips between and over them to soothe the wrinkles away before whispering, “Yes and no.” Shaking her head slightly to get herself back on track, she added, “It’s going to require fighting rush-hour traffic to get downtown” – his groan brought a smile to her lips – “and I… I would like you to go in with me.”

“Seriously? You are dragging me down there in that bullshit and making me sit through some boring meeting with you?”

“As a matter of fact, I am.” Cocking a defiant eyebrow at him, Casey challenged, “Is that a problem?”

Feeling more than hearing the sigh he huffed out, Casey bit back a laugh at the look of horror on Bryce’s face that was ruined by the humor dancing in his eyes. “I do this and then we’re even, right?” When she nodded her agreement, he let out a melodramatic groan before finally muttering, “Fine. I’ll do it.”

Twelve hours later, Casey was struggling to decide whether she was going to join Bryce in cussing out the idiot drivers that seemed to be out in full force on their morning commutes or start laughing hysterically at his outbursts. After chancing a glance at him out of the corner of her eye and seeing the tight lines of frustration and irritation marring his beautiful expression, Casey instead decided to try and lighten his tension.

Reaching over to gently pull his right hand off of the steering wheel while they were once again stopped after only moving half a foot on the freeway, she laced their fingers together. When Bryce didn’t even glance in her direction, she had to bite back the brief flare of hurt, reminding herself that he wasn’t deliberately trying to hurt her. Seeing that the traffic was probably going to be at a standstill for a bit longer, Casey carefully leaned across the console to place a quick, gentle kiss to his cheek before whispering in his ear, “Thank you so much for doing this with me. I…I really didn’t want to have to do this alone.” With her nerves getting the better of her and realizing how much she could be setting herself up for humiliation, or worse, she couldn’t bite back the honest admission.

Before she could settle back into her seat, Bryce tightened his fingers around hers where their hands were resting against his thigh. Finally turning to look at her, his eyes fell to her lips as he murmured, “C’mere.”

Despite her half-hearted, at best, protest of, “But the traffic,” Casey found herself leaning back in to press her lips against his. Although the kiss was incredibly brief, it was also soft and sweet, managing to settle the nerves she hadn’t expected to be feeling.

When she was once again situated properly in her seat, Bryce brought their linked hands up so that he could press a kiss to the back of hers. "You know, you never did tell me what all this is about.”

Forcing a calmness into her voice that she didn’t quite feel, Casey feigned innocence on a gasped, “Oh, I didn’t?”

“No, babe. You didn’t. So… you gonna tell me what’s got you so nervous this morning?”

He wasn’t supposed to notice that!

Fumbling for what she could say to mollify him without giving up what was about to go down, Casey was relieved when she noticed both that traffic was moving once again and that their exit was coming up in just over a mile. “Hey love, this next exit is ours.”

Somehow giving her a side-eye while still keeping his focus on merging into the needed lane, Bryce muttered, "I know what you’re doing.”

Her heart leapt into her throat, out of both anxiousness and frustration that her plan was blown but before she could respond, he added, “You’re trying to avoid answering my question by giving me directions.”

That pulled a genuine laugh out of her and she couldn’t help but sass, “Oh, yes. I’m only telling you how to get to our destination as an avoidance tactic. Not because I want to… oh, I dunno, get there on time, or anything.”

Bryce’s lips twitched and she knew he was trying to fight back a smile, but he remained silent for the rest of the drive, allowing her to navigate them to the parking garage that she was told to utilize on her last phone call with the receptionist.

He turned to her with the most intense puppy-dog look he’d given her to date after parking and practically whined, “Are you seriously gonna force me to sit through whatever this is after making me face rush hour?”

Fighting back her dismay by reminding herself that he didn’t know why they were downtown so he couldn’t be rejecting her, Casey schooled her expression into one of annoyance. “She cried, Bryce. You embarrassed that poor girl so bad that she was fucking bawling. And you got saved by that damned pager of yours, so I had to comfort and reassure her all by myself.”

He at least had the grace to look ashamed at that as he held his hands up in defeat. “Okay. Okay. I get it. No more complaints from me.”

“Good. Now let’s go before I’m late.”

Fully expecting Bryce to still be pouting, Casey was slightly surprised when he was waiting for her at the back of his car, his arm outstretched towards her with a soft smile on his face. She tried to take his hand, but he encouraged her to wrap her arm around his waist as he wrapped his around her shoulders and settled her in against his side instead. Before they took off towards the elevator bank, he dropped a kiss to the top of her head and whispered into her hair, “I’m sorry I’ve been such a baby about this, Case. Even if I didn’t owe you for that, which I definitely do, I’d be here for you. I’ll always be here for you.”

Resisting the urge to growl at him for being so damned sweet when she was trying to torture him, she squeezed his side and laid her head on his shoulder. “I know you are, B.”

“Okay then. Let’s get this shit over with. Whatever this shit is.”

“Ugh, don’t worry about it. You’ll know here soon enough.”

After making their way into the huge office building just down the street from the parking garage and up the elevator to the twentieth floor, the couple were standing in front of the office of the realtor that Casey had been talking to for the last few weeks, unbeknownst to Bryce. The minute that they came to a stop, still wrapped in each other’s arms, she could feel the tension flood his body and wondered for the hundredth time if using this as payback was a good idea. Still, she steeled herself, knowing she would never be able to come up with a different plan that would be satisfactory enough to fulfill this particular IOU.

“Casey?”

“Yeah?”

There was an unmistakable hint of panic in his voice as he asked, “This is where your meeting is?”

“Yeah, it is. Now come on. My appointment is in like two minutes and I don’t want to be late.”

His feet stayed planted as she stepped forward to open the door, his hand tightening on her shoulder keeping her in place. She felt her expression soften when she glanced up into his terrified eyes. Forcing herself to push on, she deliberately misinterpreted his fear, telling him, “It’s okay, Bryce. It’s just an office. I’m not gonna make you do paperwork or anything.” Well, actually I hope that is a lie.

“But – “

“C’mon. Seriously, I’m about to be late and I’m just standing out here in the hallway.” It took her practically dragging him, but Casey managed to get both him and herself into the reception area of the office, where she was met with a kind, understanding smile of the receptionist that she had spent a great deal of time talking to and planning with.

“Hello and welcome to Mortemer Realty. My name is Peyton and we are so happy to have you here today. Can I get you guys something to drink? Water, coffee?”

Casey looked up at Bryce waiting for him to answer, but after taking in his dazed look, she realized he likely hadn’t heard Peyton’s question so answered for him instead. “Could we have a couple bottles of water?”

“Certainly, I’ll be right back with those. And Edward should be ready for you in just a moment. He was just finishing up a phone call.”

As soon as she walked away, Bryce’s face snapped down to Casey’s with his eyes narrowed. “The fuck are we – you – doing here?”

Before Casey could reply, the door to an inner office and the realtor, Edward, stepped out. “Ah, Casey! It’s such a delight to see you again.” Bryce’s hand once again tightened around her shoulder at the word “again.”

Reaching her free hand, luckily her right, out to close around Edward’s for a handshake, she gave him a bright smile and replied, “It’s good to see you again as well. I’m” – she took in what she hoped was a hopefully silent, steadying breath – “excited to get this ball rolling!”

“Excellent! And I see Peyton has already taken drink orders.” Giving Peyton an exaggerated wink and a smile that she returned, Edward waited until she had given both Bryce and Casey their bottles before continuing, “Is there anything else we can get you before we begin?”

Shoving down her ever-increasing nerves at Bryce’s silence, Casey shook her head and said with more confidence than she felt, “No, thank you. I’m more than ready to get going.”

“Alright, then. Let’s have a seat.”

Tugging Bryce with her, Casey followed Edward into his office and pulled the two chairs set up there closer together before gently urging Bryce to settle into one of them. Once she was comfortable in her own, she reached over to rest her hand on his leg, needing to give him some sort of comfort. This was a terrible idea. What the fuck was I thinking?

Realizing Edward was already speaking, Casey took a small breath to calm herself down, thinking, I’ve come this far, no sense in turning back now, before focusing her attention back on the realtor. “…what you told me you were looking for. Is that correct?”

After taking a quick peek at the sheet of information she’d provided him in their previous meeting, Casey glanced at Bryce out of the corner of her eye to see that he was staring at the wall with the same dazed look in his eye and then answered, “Yes. That looks like everything. Were you able to find anything that fit the bill?”

“I was! Actually, I managed to find three listings that covered all of the must-haves on your list.”

“Three? I wasn’t sure if I’d be lucky enough to find one!”

Edward laughed, “Then I guess it’s a good thing you came to me for help!”

Casey returned his laugh as he handed her three sheets of paper detailing the listing details for the three apartments she’d been shown on her day off last week. She already knew all of the information on them by heart, especially that of the one she knew she liked best, but made a show of looking over the paper as if it was the first time she was seeing it.

After giving her a few minutes of silence, Edward asked, “Do you have any questions about any of the properties?”

Humming softly under her breath in mock contemplation, she finally looked up and forced herself to avoid making eye contact with Bryce as she replied, “No. I think this covers everything I need to know.”

“Excellent! As luck would have it, all of the properties are available for a showing today. Would you be interested in that?”

Casey caught the twitch at the corner of Edward’s lips when he glanced briefly in Bryce’s direction and found herself biting the inside of her lip to keep her composure. She was genuinely impressed with herself when her voice came out steady on her answer, “That would be perfect, since I won’t have another day off until later next week.”

That seemed to snap Bryce out of his daze and he whipped his head around to look at her as he wrapped his hand around the one she still had resting against his thigh. “Are you in some sort of a hurry?”

Before she could answer, Edward interjected, “She needs to be if she wants any of these properties. They are all quite coveted and she will need to move fast before someone else comes in and scoops them up.” Swiveling his gaze back to Casey, he asked, “Do you know which one you would like to see first?”

“Oh, um… this one” – she handed the paper of the one she had fallen in love with back to Edward – “This one is the furthest drive, so I figured we should probably start there and then can work our way back?”

“Actually, I was anticipating you might wish to view them today, so I made arrangements for transportation for us. We’ll take a helicopter there and there will be a car waiting to drive us to the properties once we arrive.”

Bryce’s hand tightened around hers almost painfully. “Hel-helicopter?”

“It’s the most efficient way to get to New York and still have plenty of time and sunlight to properly assess all of the options.”

“Oh my gosh! That is so amazing of you! Thank you so much!” I hope I’m not overselling my fake surprise too much.

“I figured with your schedule as a doctor, this would be the easiest way for you to see everything that you wish to and still be back to Boston in plenty of time. In fact, the helicopter should be ready for us if we leave now. Does that work for you two?”

Turning to face Bryce, Casey had to shove down her guilt once again at the ashen look on his face. Placing her free hand over the one Bryce still had wrapped around hers, she squeezed gently until his eyes met hers and flashed him a smile. “Are you ready for a quick trip to the ol’ NYC?”

“Now?”

Casey laughed, “Yes, now! Aren’t you the king of spontaneity?”

“I uh… I” – he swallowed hard, his fingers flexing under hers – “Yeah, I guess I am. Let’s uh… Let’s do this.”

A squeal of genuine excitement slipped from her lips before she could contain it causing Bryce to flinch, so she leaned over to press a kiss to his cheek to soften the blow before turning back to Edward and telling him, “It definitely works for us.”

A little over three hours, and barely two words from Bryce, later, the group of three were stepping off an elevator onto the tenth floor of a brand-new apartment building. “Now, as the literature explained, this apartment won’t have the picturesque view of the city that the higher floors do, but that does actually save you a bit on the rent. The owners have discovered it’s been a bit trickier to rent out the apartments on this side of the lower floors because of the adjoining building.”

“I thought you said these listings were flying off the market?”

The shock of hearing Bryce string together and entire sentence had Casey’s steps faltering so much she almost tripped herself. The way that Bryce reached out to steady her and tuck her into his side – the most contact they’d shared since they left the realty office – offered her some semblance of reassurance.

“They are flying, but that doesn’t mean that the interested parties are willing to overpay compared to other options out there. It isn’t much of a savings, mind you, but every bit helps.”

Casey agreed, “Yes, it absolutely does.”

Coming to a stop in front of apartment 104, Edward turned to look directly at Casey and announced, “Here we are. Are you ready to take a look around?”

Feeling as if she were literally vibrating, she hoped that Bryce would attribute it to excitement rather than nerves as she nodded her head in response, all ability to form words escaping her as only one thought bounced around her brain: I hope he loves this as much as I do.

Once the door was open, Edward stepped out of the way to let Casey and Bryce enter first. Surprisingly, she didn’t have to pull him along behind her, but rather was practically getting drug inside by him. She honestly wasn’t sure if that was a good thing or not. As they moved about the small apartment, checking out both bedrooms and bathrooms before venturing through the almost non-existent living room into the kitchen, Casey kept sneaking surreptitious glances at Bryce to try and judge his impression.

When he finally came to a stop in front of the refrigerator, staring into the stainless steel, she walked up behind him and wrapped her arms around his waist. She pressed a kiss to his shoulder blade before whispering, “So, what do you think?”

Letting out a harsh scoff, he practically hissed, “Does it even fucking matter?”

You knew there was a chance that he’d be pissed. Just stay the course and it will all be fine. It has to be fine.

“Of course it matters! I wouldn’t have brought you along if it didn’t.” When the only response she got was another scoff, she squeezed her arms around him gently and pleaded, “Please, Bryce?”

Spinning in her arms, Bryce threw up his hands and exclaimed, “Fine! It’s a great fucking place! It’s got enough room for a TV and couch for your sports, a good-sized bedroom, a more-than-adequate kitchen for all that you are gonna use it. Hell, it even has a goddamn extra bedroom that you could use for a fucking office if you want!” He let out a deep breath and seemed to deflate with it as he asked, “That what you wanted to hear?”

Pressing herself closer so she could rest her chin against his chest, she bit her bottom lip and hoped that she could hold herself together for just a bit longer because seeing him lose it like that damn near broke her. “Almost.”

“Really? What fucking more could you want from me over this?”

“You really like this place?”

Finally wrapping his arms around her, he muttered, “No. I told you I think it’s great. I didn’t say I like it.”

“What don’t you like about it?”

“You really have to ask?”

“I really do.”

“It’s in fucking New York City! I mean – never mind.”

Sucking in a steadying breath, Casey turned her head so that her ear was pressed against his chest. The sound of his pounding heart beneath it simultaneously made her feel like shit and also reassured her. “So that’s the only thing you didn’t like?”

Letting out a resigned sigh, Bryce pressed a kiss to the top of her head and said, “Yeah. That’s the only shitty thing about this place. But do you really think you need to waste all that extra money on a two-bedroom?”

“I think so.”

“Why? Other than an office that you would never use?”

“Well, I think Keiki would like to have her own room, wouldn’t you?”

Shoving her away from his chest by her shoulders, Bryce narrowed his eyes at her. “What are you talking about?”

Giving him her most patronizing look, Casey repeated herself very slowly, “I think Keiki would like to have her own room.”

“In New York?”

“No.”

“Casey. What in the hell is going on?”

Surprised by the force of her unexpected laughter, Casey couldn’t help but double over. When she had regained a bit of control, she turned over her shoulder toward Edward and asked, “You think I should let him in on it?”

“I think you’ve made the poor boy suffer more than enough.”

“Okay, fine.” Twisting back to look Bryce in the eye, she brought a hand up to cup the side of his face, her thumb tracing over his cheek. “Did you really think I would move away without even telling you first?”

“Before today? Not a fucking chance. But we’re standing in an apartment you want to rent in New York fucking City, so I guess I was wrong.”

“You weren’t wrong, love. This was just a little bit of payback.”

“What?”

“I’m not looking for an apartment for me. I’m looking for an apartment for us – you, me and Keiki.”

Bryce’s brows scrunched together in a combination of disbelief and confusion. “In New York?”

“If I may?” Edward interjected, waiting for Casey to nod yes before continuing, “Casey came to me a few weeks back, wanting to know about two-bedroom listings in Boston that would be close enough to Edenbrook to be feasible for the two of you and your sister. In the midst of our conversations, I asked why she was doing this solo if she had a partner to help her with the process and she told me that she was wanting to set him up with a little bit of a fake out to pay him back for a mess she had to clean up for him. That led to us discussing the whole situation and once we found the apartment that she could best see you guys living in, I realized a way that we could take her plan to a whole new level.”

By this point, Casey was giggling almost uncontrollably, but she still managed to add, “Oh my god, it was a brilliant idea.” Bryce’s fingers tightening around her waist told her he wasn’t sold on that opinion quite yet.

Edward laughed softly, “I’m so glad you enjoyed it Casey. Anyways, the apartment she picked just so happened to be owned by a real estate firm that had just built an almost identical building in New York. So, I called and found out that it had an apartment that matched the floorplan of the one in Boston so I arranged to have this available for a showing today. That way you could see what your apartment will look like, if you choose to lease it, and we could really psych you out.”

The apartment was silent for what felt like hours as both Casey and Edward waited to see how Bryce was going to react to the full reveal of her deception. As the seconds ticked by, her nervousness amped up exponentially, suddenly terrified that she’d ruined not only her chance to move in with Bryce but maybe their entire relationship. When she couldn’t take it any longer, she used the hand still cupping his cheek to gently turn his head so that she could meet his eyes. There was a look in them that she couldn’t quite read and she had to force her words out around a growing lump in her throat. “Bryce? Love? Talk to me.”

“You really set all this up as payback for the incident with Lilly?”

“I… I did.”

“So, you thought ‘Let’s make Bryce think I’m moving to New York City without discussing it with him first.’?”

Casey sucked in a deep breath through her teeth, but kept her voice steady as she answered, “I did.”

His eyes narrowed on her in a glare so hot she felt like her skin was melting, but she refused to look away. Whatever the fallout was going to be for this, she knew she had to face it head on. He was silent for several long beats before a smile finally broke out over his beautiful face and he let out a hearty laugh. “Damn, babe. That… that’s fucking incredible.”

“Wait… you aren’t… mad?”

“Hell, no! I’m impressed that you came up with such a devious plan, to be honest!”

“Really?”

“Really. I only have one question.”

“Um … okay?”

Shifting his gaze back over her shoulder, he asked Edward, “Why did you go to so much trouble, so much expense, for this prank for a woman you don’t even know?”

“Oh, that’s actually an easy one. Remember that pitcher that collapsed during the game between Manhattan and Boston a while back? He’s my cousin and she saved his life.”

“Stop it, Edward. I told you that wasn’t just me.”

“Bullshit. Several of his teammates told him and me both how you figured out what was wrong with him. Besides that, I could immediately tell what an amazing woman she is. As much as she wanted to mess with you, her biggest concern was finding a place that would be comfortable for you and your sister. She wasn’t even worried about what she wanted or needed. All in all, I was more than happy to help you guys find a place and to help her get a little bit of payback.”

Chuckling once again, Bryce brought a hand up to the back of her neck to bring their faces closer together. When their lips were almost touching, he muttered, “Damn, Case. I’m so glad I have no interest in a prank war with you.”

Voice breathless, she asked, “And why is that?”

“Because I’ve already lost before I could even begin.”

Casey’s laugh was short-lived as Bryce pressed their lips together for a deep and tender kiss. When they finally pulled apart, Casey’s smile was slightly mischievous, making Bryce question, “What’s that about?”

“I just realized I never got to asking my question.”

“Oh yeah?” Leaning back down, Bryce pressed his forehead against hers. “You’d better hurry up and ask then. Wouldn’t want to give me too much time to think about how to respond.”

After pinching his side, Casey let out a soft chuckle at his grunt and lifted her arms up to wrap around his neck. She leaned in just enough to brush her lips across Bryce’s and then stayed there as she asked, “Do you want to live in this apartment’s Boston twin with me?”

“When can we move in?”

Tag List: @anotherbeingsworld @darley1101 @lahellacute @mrsdrlahela @burnsoslow @mvalentine

I know it’s been forever since I’ve posted anything, so if you’d prefer not to be tagged anymore, I apologize. Just let me know and I will take you off the list. I actually debated whether I should even tag anyone in this for that exact reason, so I will totally understand if you want off - especially because I don’t know how soon I’ll have any sort of regular posts again.

[tulipscomeinallsortsofcolors]

Shed-Skin

Prologue: Waste Not, Want Not

Her plans haven’t been working out. She’s not entirely sure what happened, but She does know something went wrong. Good thing She’s got another one, and all it involves (for now) is waiting. She’s gotten good at that.

Warnings: Spooky Eldritch Shadow Nightmare Monster Mama being Eldritch (She’s doing Her best), referenced antagonist death, implied unsympathetic!Deceit?, vaguely implied gore, SESNMMama’s interpretation of main character death and grief, I’m trying to cover all my bases but honestly this isn’t that bad I think.

Words: 2658

Violet “Writing so good it gets a fandom wiki and fanfics based off it because not only is the world compelling, the characters believable, and the plot fantastic, they’re a fantastic, lovely, genuinely good person who manages to make everyone feel comforted by their mere presence” inspired me after 2 ½ years without writing. And because I’ve been reading LAOFT since… Brother came out I think? (gosh how has it been that long.) I decided to give in and do something for it. And as I started drafting, Putting Others First came out and gave us more of our Evil Just a Snek Boi and inspired me even more, and then I made up like 3 mental pages of true name lore for reasons that at the time of writing this isn’t /technically/ wrong, but two cakes! This cake just happens to consist purely of ultra-specific hyperfixation lore that I aggressively made to fit with my Plans. I could honestly rant about all my fun facts about this for days, but I’m trying to keep this coherent. (Tolkein I love you, but there is a time and a place for excessive worldbuilding) So if you love to hate The Serpent King, but also really like sympathetic Dee, well… So do I. And so, apparently, does my brain. I don’t know how long it will be, but the answer is going to be “too long”. I already have two chapters properly plotted out.

☙❀❧-☙✿❧-☙❀❧-☙✿❧-☙❀❧-☙✿❧-☙❀❧-☙✿❧-☙❀❧-☙✿❧

Something was Wrong. It was Spring, and it was far too dark. She liked the dark, and the cold, but everything had it’s time, and this was not the time. Her Virgil was awake, and Her town had changed, and Her Durant had a ghost. These were not Wrong. Her Virgil had only recently fallen asleep, being awake was his usual state. Her town was always changing, filled with mortals as it was, even with its ever-growing Presence. Her Durant having a ghost was new and unexpected, especially with the state it was in, but not Wrong. And if it was not Her Virgil, or Her town, or Her Durant, then it was Her. Her Forest was Wrong. And She did not remember Her Name. That was not Wrong, or even new or unexpected, but it was something She noticed, as She felt She had in the past. This was more disconcerting than it should have been though, so much that She nearly missed Her Younger Son dying. Key word being nearly.

That was not Wrong, but it was not Right either. It was the ghost’s fault, who was no longer Her Younger’s. Perhaps the ghost was more Wrong than She had thought. Catching Herself before She missed what was clearly Important, She focused, and there It was, the flickering remains of what She had given to make Her Durant. She pulled it back to Herself, returning the essence of Her Youngest to Its source before It could fade out of this world completely. A distant Part of Herself, the Part that still had a Name, felt like she should feel something… painful? Sadness was the closest match she had felt from Her Virgil, but that was Wrong. The thought that She should be feeling was Wrong too, so as with all that was Wrong She pushed it away, crushing it beneath Her Presence.

Turning Her attention to what She had gathered, She focused inward. It was easy to distinguish from the rest of Herself, with sharp edges and a coiling, scale-smooth surface, like the snake It had used to be part of. She started to Shape It, return It to Herself as It had been before She Made Her Youngest, but It would not stick. It molded Itself into Her shapes, broke and tore like Her Youngest’s body, and reformed together at a thought, as the rest of Her would, but It refused to return to Its original state, as part of Her. Unless… It was not? She had taken part of Herself, and Given it to Her Youngest, the closest she could come to Giving a Name, and She had done that as well. She had Named the parts She had Shaped into Her Youngest, and Her Virgil, and His Sisters. It made sense that They were no longer Her, as She had thought. This sharp, coiling, scaly shadow was not returning because It was already complete. It was what was left of Her Youngest, that She had Given to Him, and as a Gift It was not Hers to Take Back anymore. That… Complicated things.

She remembered Her Virgil telling Her that Her Youngest was Wrong, and She was dimly aware of talking, fretting, and explaining. Explaining what had happened. She was not sure She understood well, but She thought She understood well enough. Her Youngest had caused this Wrongness in her forest, this too dark Spring, or at least Her Virgil believed so. And Virgil was Her Regent. She could not return Her Youngest to the Courts while Virgil still lived, it would cause anger and sadness and more than likely end up in Her having to gather Her Youngest’s Essence again, it would not be worth it. She did not want to get rid of It, that would be a waste. Even waiting for Virgil to die would not be foolproof, though She had clearer knowledge of how Her Son was separated from Her, Virgil was still Like Her and could fade like She had. And even if Virgil did die, Her Youngest had not worked as he had been supposed to the last time. Her Youngest would need a guide, but there were none to be had at the moment, and She could not take that mantle on. So She resolved to put away the issue for the moment and turned Her focus to Her Son, and then to the Mortal, Witch, and Spring that seemed to have captivated Virgil. She examined them, curious as to why exactly they had caught Her Son’s eye. Apparently, however, Her interest caused them fear, so She decided to respect Virgil’s desire to have His Loves left alone. She had enough information now anyway.

One was a mortal. Blessed, but a mortal nonetheless. One was a witch, magical, but ultimately mortal as well. One was a Spring, a powerful one at that, but a green-man. Wild. Her Son was setting Himself up for sadness, yet they brought Him such joy. Every one of them was absolutely priceless to Him. This was Important. She pondered on this, though she kept it to the back of her mind. It seemed She needed to be more present, lest She cause Virgil undue concern. Then, so soon, She sensed joy coming off of Her Son like snowdrifts, and excitement. She did not remember Him ever being so happy, so She paid attention.

It was exhausting, forcing Herself to follow the days and nights alongside the Inhabitants of Her Forest, but soon enough it proved itself worth it as She watched Her Son and His Loves bind themselves together, swearing by Moon and Stars and Sun, and Dark and Light, and Rivers and Fire, and Air and Earth alongside everyone else They called Family. For the first time in centuries She Saw and Heard, instead of sensing, and tiring as it was She undeniably did not remember ever being so happy. She was There for Her Son’s Wedding! Time slipped by Her more than usual after that, but She was still Present, still Aware of when Virgil would speak to Her, and that was far more Important.

Then They began wanting a Child. She could not Feel the others, but Her Son felt Wrong, and as with all that was Wrong She wanted to push it away, to crush it beneath Her Presence, to make the Wrongness Right. Well, that was something She could help with. It had been some time since She had Made someone, but not nearly so long that She could not remember how. She was as gentle as She could be as She took what She needed from each of Them, gathering the pieces not all at once, but slowly. They wanted a Child, so she would make them a Proper Child. Bit by bit She balanced out what would make this new creation Different. On the First Day of Autumn, She was ready. The Child would have no Mothers, so a Name Given by a Grandmother would suffice.

I Name You Linda. You Are the Daughter of Winter, Mortal, Witch, and Spring. You Are a Lynx. You Are a Princess. You Are Autumn, Unseelie, and Fae. Wake.

There is less of a difference between Granddaughter Asleep and Awake than She expected, but the Witch-Hazel is blooming, and She must bring Her Son. It takes Pushing and Pulling, but Her Son goes, and brings Granddaughter to His Loves. She draws back. Everything has been going quickly, and She has not thought about what this, Her Son marrying His Loves, Her Making Granddaughter, means. So though She stays alert, Her focus shifts from Her Son and Granddaughter to Herself, and the issue of the sharp coil that remains safely tucked away. She thinks, and considers, and questions, and finally by the end of it all has a plan. All it involves for now is waiting. She has gotten good at that.

☙❀❧-☙✿❧

The Witch died. She has a new word for a feeling, a name for the unnameable pain: grief. He had sworn on his body of Fire and Earth, and had fulfilled those vows. She does not remember it well, but the first time He met Her, He had tried to hide His fear with boldness and brightness, and kept His Spark until He could keep it no more. It is curious, She thinks, how Important one mortal witch could be. She leaves Her Son and the Mortal and the Spring and Granddaughter to mourn. (It feels Wrong, not being able to truthfully think “His Loves”, but this Wrong cannot be made Right. She can only push it away.)

☙❀❧-☙✿❧

Granddaughter was crying. Time was harder to grasp, but the Witch’s death had been three seasons ago. She was unsure of how long grief kept its hold, but Her Son and His remaining two Loves seemed better. She did not want Granddaughter to cry. Without thinking, She reached out a shadow and prodded at Granddaughter’s mind. An incomprehensible flood of feelings and words poured out, like blood from a wound. She cannot understand, cannot translate what She could do to Right this Wrong, cannot speak, but She tries her best, and sends an old picture, one of Her Son and His Sisters and Linda curled up together in an old hammock. It just makes Granddaughter cry harder. She leaves.

☙❀❧-☙✿❧

    The Mortal is dead. No one is shocked, but that doesn’t seem to make Their grief any less. By the Rivers and Earth of His body he had sworn, and she remembers the rivers He had cried on that day. He tried to stay steady and grounded to counteract the Air in his Blessing, to keep Himself rooted even when everything seemed to be crumbling. She cannot bring Herself to feel much of anything, even though every moment She is aware of means a moment from which she can measure the time she has left to wait. She still does not understand. The part of Her that could have, perhaps, felt and empathized with Their grief is gone. But this time She does not ask. She does not understand, but She has learned that some Wrongs cannot be made Right, or pushed aside, or crushed. She does not like it, but lately She has learned She does not like many things, including, to Her surprise, waiting.

☙❀❧-☙✿❧

    Granddaughter is mourning again. This is fresh, a mortal that Granddaughter had cared for had died. This mortal had not been Family, so She was confused in a way She thought she could fix. She reached out a shadow, but this time She did not prod, only wrapped Granddaughter’s wrist; gently, She remembered. She had never properly spoken to Granddaughter before, so She tried to send words instead of images as She asked

    Why do you grieve?

    Granddaughter startled, and couldn’t seem to respond. Flashes passed through Her, memories and feelings that She could only barely understand, until they stopped abruptly and were replaced with something She could.

    He was family.

    She understood what it meant, but did not understand why Granddaughter said that. They shared no blood, and had not bound themselves together through vows or oaths. But She did understand that Granddaughter meant it, and just because She did not understand, that did not mean it could not be understood. She let Granddaughter be.

☙❀❧-☙✿❧

    Time passes. She has moved beyond Ancient, and can barely bring Herself to consciousness most of the time, let alone remembering. She does still remember some things, a blooming Witch-Hazel, Her Son, four pairs of hands bound together with silver, and Granddaughter, but sharpest of all is the Essence She holds that is Of Her and is Her no longer. She cannot remember what It is for, besides that She must Make something, but must wait to do so. There will come a day where Her Plan will be complete, and until then She must wait a while longer. She is simply waiting, season by season, cycle by cycle, until all at once She feels pain. For a single moment She thinks grief, then dismisses the thought. This is not just grief as She has learned to recognize it, this is Wrong. She gathers Herself and focuses on Her Son and His… heartbreak that even now is quickly dulling into shock.

    The Spring is gone, just as broken in body as Her Son in spirit. She switches focus to the pond where Granddaughter and Granddaughter’s Love and the Summer are, and cannot bother being gentle as She grabs Granddaughter’s attention.

    Grandmother?

    Come.

She registers confusion and hesitance and there was no time.

    Come now.

Granddaughter followed Her lead to Her Son and the moment Granddaughter saw the scene, She could feel it. But that did not matter, because Her Son could not live on without His last Love, so rule of Her Forest would pass to Granddaughter, and She was almost done waiting, but Her Son was dying here and now and She had to pay Attention. She tightened around Granddaughter as She spoke.

    Goodbye.

    She knew Granddaughter understood, as Her Son was laid down. She wrapped Herself around Their hands and tried to give reassurance.

    Mercy. Mercy.

    I know.

She forced herself to be Present as she had not been in centuries, Her Son deserved proper Words, and Granddaughter needed the comfort.

    My Son. My Son, Give Me Your Name.

    He was apologizing, and the Summer was soothing Him in a way She was unable to do. Though She could not soothe, this, finally, was a Wrong She could make Right.

    Dear Child. Your Name.

    I am Virgil. Spider Prince of the Winter Court, Lord of the Forest, Bruderspinne, Husband of Mortal, Witch, and Spring, Father of Autumn.

    A moment, a last goodbye, and then-

    Virgil. Spider Prince of the Winter Court, Lord of the Forest, Bruderspinne, Husband of Mortal, Witch, and Spring, Father of Autumn.

    Go Home.

    It is painless, and that may be the worst part. A string has been cut, severing Her Son, severing Virgil’s connection to life and to Her and to Her Forest and the heartbreak She had felt was gone but so was Her Son! She retreats, and thinks that perhaps She finally understands grief.

☙❀❧-☙✿❧

As Her Forest changes, so does She. The Courts are in safe hands and as they are moving on, so is She as She begins to bring to fruition centuries worth of waiting. She knows that this will Right a Wrong, though She cannot remember what or why or how it was Wrong, She knows what and why and how She must do this. She takes the sharp, scale-smooth shadow and begins to work. Some pieces are taken out, and She does Her best to take this essence that She had Shaped before and return It to what She had first Made. It is memories that She most concerns Herself with, and it is difficult, delicate work based mostly off of half-present instincts. She takes immense care, both with cutting the memories and with the parts of Herself that She shapes and shaves off to Give. She tries to Give what She thinks She remembers Her First Creation had, things to soften Its sharp coils. It is nearly done when She lets It shift and slither to the Witch-Hazel. She Makes It a body, a little younger this time than before, and binds essence and form together. There is a child in the Witch-Hazel, who She does not think She should call Her Son, and who is the solution to a very old problem. It takes more effort than She’d like, but She coalesces to speak, to Give Him a Name from a Mother.

I Name You Durant. You Are a Snake. You Are a Prince. You Are Winter, Unseelie, and Fae. You will be Protected. Wake.

The Child wakes. For the first time in centuries, the Witch-Hazel is in bloom.

---

V: this is absolutely STUNNING and i love it so much! oh when i say i CRIED alskjak im so SOFT

[theshinobiway]

When you have the time and inspiration, will you please write all of Team Gai with the physical touch numbers 6 or 9 (sorry if you've already done them, I haven't seen them) as scenarios (or head canons, up to you ^^)? I really enjoy your writing style btw!

Since I’m trying to push through these requests, I went ahead and did HCs for these since I can crank those out pretty fast. These were fun to do, it’s been a while since I did some fluffy headcanons for these babies! Also foot things feel SO weird to write and I don’t know why? It’s just…feet. I think the internet is to blame.

Also, you are so sweet! Thank you so much for the compliments on my style, I’m so happy you enjoy it! Thanks as always for contributing to the blog!

FAQ // Mobile Masterlist

Team Gai Headcanons – Piggyback Rides & Footsie

Might Gai

Piggyback

Ø  Trying to give this man a piggyback will be simultaneously be the most adorable and the funniest experiences ever.

Ø  Gai will totally let you do it. The only issue is if you can actually pick him up. If you can, he’s like a little kid. He keeps cheering for you to go faster and to push yourself to go longer. He’s so proud of his S/O’s strength and he’s going to make sure the entire village knows about it as he (loudly) demands (encourages) the passers-by to offer you praise as well. Oh Gai, never change.

Ø  Gai will challenge you to carry him around the village for 200 laps. Will you do it? Will you not? Only you know. Be not wary, Gai is your biggest supporter regardless of your limits.

Ø  Remember that challenge to carry Gai around the village? It’s his turn. It’ll happen either after you do yours or when you politely decline.

Ø  Gai carries people as a part of training. It’s his thing. As either his close friend, student, or his S/O, you’re roped into it—whether you like it or begrudgingly accept it. Tenten is on Tuesdays, Rock Lee is on Wednesdays, Neji has his own block in the schedule for being chased down (ahem, Gai considers it scheduled cardio with a potential block of sparring) followed by a scheduled piggyback ride. You personally can decide how much of his time you’ll take up, but you can’t delay the inevitable. Nobody escapes from a Gai piggyback ride.

Ø  As an S/O, Picking you up and carrying you around is Gai’s way of spoiling, protecting, and loving you all at once. Training aside, he wants you to feel that you’re his most precious person and he wants to take the weight from your day, even if it’s just for a little while. If that means something as simple as letting you rest your head on his shoulder while you walk home after a long day, he’ll do it.

Ø  Gai loves giving piggyback rides. He does it whenever, wherever he can. He loves picking you up and carrying you around for two reasons: One, it’s great training. Two—Gai is naturally so affectionate that he’ll spoil you with any kind of physical contact. There’s a variation where he’ll walk around on his hands and carry you on his feet, but he does that mostly when he wants you to feel “on top of the world.”

Ø  You should definitely tell him you do. And then tell him it’s because Gai is your whole world. He’ll have to stop and embrace you because he’s bawling tears of joy and love.

Ø  Gai’s muscles are unreal. It doesn’t matter if you’re not his S/O and you wind up (accidentally) death-gripping his solid biceps while attempting to hold on for dear life as he races through the village with you on his back. Gai will burst out laughing at your shocked expression and go on about the power of youthful living and how it keeps him in shape.

Ø  If you decide to ever have children, you can bet he’ll be carrying them all around the village on crazy adventures. If you have multiple children, Gai’s carrying them all at once and zooming around the village, and the kids are having the time of their lives. (If you follow the epilogue, you can bet Metal’s in the bunch too and Gai has them all on his wheelchair while he zooms around the village like a little wheelchair-bound racecar.)

Footsie

Ø  Say goodbye to leg presses, hello to Might Gai footsie leg presses where you’ll be using your feet in a battle of the fittest.

Ø  What, did you think Gai wouldn’t turn this into training? You fool. ANYTHING IS TRAINING.

Ø  If there were ever a time where Gai would need to chill out, it would be when it comes to footsie. He’ll try really, really hard to not start exercising, but that will be training exercise in and of itself. You’’ll see him straining in the most comical way and proclaiming loudly that he must “cement his will and train his impulses!” Gai’s sweating, his fists clenched, and grunting while you try to prod his feet with yours. He’s sitting still and playing footsie just fine, but the compulsion is just too strong.

Ø  Once you’re done, he’s bound to explode with energy. Gai will have you sit on his calves while he does leg raises. It’s honestly impressive how effortlessly he can do them for the first twenty sets.

Ø  He’ll let you play a little bit of footsie under the table, but that can turn into Gai raising you up with his feet real quick. And the table, and your chair.

Ø  The only real time you’ll be able to accomplish this feat is if you’re lying on bed together and Gai is falling asleep. He’ll relax just enough to play a little bit of footsie while he’s dozing off, but you get maybe 10 minutes tops before he’s KO’d

Ø  Gai is actually really sweet when he’s tried enough to play footsie. He has a habit of doing little caressing motions with his hands when he’s falling asleep with you and that can extend to the rest of his body. He likes to know you’re there and show his appreciation for you in little ways.

Ø  You could try to caress his thigh with your leg, but that means you’re locked in for a few hours of special Might Guy training. What’s the special training you ask? Well, you brazen pervert, if you must know…

Ø  It’s time for thigh presses. Saddle up and get to work, you’ve got 500 ahead of you.

Ø  RIP your legs.

Rock Lee

Piggyback

Ø  Lee is…not sure how to process that you want to give him a piggyback ride? He prefers to be giver rather than receiver (in more ways than one, wink wonk!) He’ll do it in earnest and he’ll have fun with you, but given the opportunity he prefers to have you on his back.

Ø  Gai is really the only person he’ll hop on (literally) for a piggyback ride, but that’s because they both do it as a part of training. If that’s what you’re aiming for, then by all means! Lee is always willing to do anything he can to help someone improve themselves!

Ø  But, of course, you’ll be propositioned for a ride if you’re around while he’s training [and Gai is carrying Kakashi around, or whoever was on his schedule that day.] Even if you have reservations, it’s so hard to say no to that face. Lee doesn’t mean to be pushy, but it might come off that way if you’re the shy type. Still, he does it in such an eager and non-confrontational way so you can turn him down if you need to. He won’t take it too hard.

Ø  As for giving piggyback rides, Lee may not have the solid steel that Gai does, but his muscles are firm. The spandex makes it pretty easy to tell, even without being in close physical contact. If you compliment his physique, Lee will burst out blushing and stuttering and is oh-so-flattered and flustered. He isn’t used to getting compliments.

Ø  If you fall asleep on his back while he’s carrying you around for any reason, he’ll die of happiness. Especially if you’re his longtime crush—He’ll resolve to keep walking around until you wake up, not wanting to disturb you. Hey, it means more time with you and the chance to stay close like this for just a little longer. Oh, and training. He’ll say it was good training, but Lee really can’t keep a secret—neither can the giant blush on his face.

Ø  If you’re romantically involved, Lee will never turn down an opportunity to carry you around. He’s such a romantic at heart and he loves the feeling of your arms wrapped around him and your heartbeat against his back. Lee really does give his all for his spouse, and he’s so gentle with them.

Ø  You should definitely lean forward and give him occasional cheek kisses while he carries you around. It never fails to make Lee blush and laugh. It’s the kind of laugh that comes from the heart, it’s warm and genuine and always makes you smile—just like him.

Footsie

Ø  Chances are you’re Lee’s first S/O and Lee is always willing to try any sort of loving gesture. If you initiate it, he’s fully on board from the get-go.

Ø  Oh, and he latches on pretty quick. If you end up doing this once, be prepared. Every time you sit across from one another from then on your feet will immediately tangle together under the table. It’s like holding hands. Lee loves physical contact and seeks it out every chance he gets.

Ø  At home, Lee loves cuddling with you in any way possible. Tangled limbs and sweet kisses are a constant with him. While cuddling, he’ll gently rub his feet against yours while his hands caress your hair and back, pressing gentle kisses to your forehead, cheek, nose, anywhere in reach.

Ø  Even if you’re simply eating dinner at home, he’ll nudge you with his foot and tell you just how much he loves dinner and appreciates how you took the time to make it, and of course he knows your cooking is the best. You’ll get a little bit of footsie under the table while he gives you a big grin and rests his head on his hand, admiring you with that little sparkle in his eye.

Ø  If you’re sitting across from one another, Lee loves it when you swing your feet and he can catch them with his. He makes cute little kung-fu sound effects when he catches it because he knows it makes you smile and laugh.

Ø  If you try to catch his feet with yours and demand that he’s “captured,” he’s right on board to play along with it. He’ll go over the top with his acting too. “Uwoooaaah! I’m caught, I’m caught! You’re too strong for me! Please (y/n), have mercy! I’ll do anything! Let me bargain for my freedom! I’ll give you all the massages and kisses you want! I’ll even do the dishes!”

Ø  (Lee would/already does do that anyway, just so we’re clear.)

Ø  Lee will always go out of his way to make sure he’s gentle with you and doesn’t hurt you, especially with his leg weights off. He has such a great management of his own strength and knows that if he’s reckless the strength in his feet could spell out an unwilling injury.

Ø  Once or twice you got a chance to (carefully) stand on his feet and he put his arms around you. He stepped side to side, dancing and humming a made-up tune while he spun you around, balancing you on his feet. Resting his chin on your head, Lee makes sure that this is one memory he’ll never forget.

Tenten

Piggyback

Ø  Tenten is down to both give and receive piggyback rides. Tbh let her give you one at least once, you know she’s absolutely ripped and seeing her flex while she picks things up with little to no effort (especially you) should be considered its own sexuality.

Ø  Tenten will pick you up for fun if you’re joking around and feel free to openly swoooon at buff girl Tenten’s lovely biceps. It’s a huge confidence boost for her, and it’s so nice to have someone that doesn’t play the “but you’re a girl!/strong for a girl!” card when she displays her impressive physical strength. Well duh she’s strong, she’s a taijutsu specialist. It’s nice to be appreciated, though.

Ø  If she’s older she’s developed far more Gai/Lee traits. She was probably roped into the team Gai special “piggyback training” at least once and you were the only poor blessed soul around to receive a ride from this goddess. You may not be going as fast as the other two, but for some reason you feel far more assured in your safety.

Ø  Unless it’s out of necessity, Tenten won’t really initiate physical contact—although she isn’t contact avoidant like Neji. But she’ll be the first to volunteer to carry an injured teammate and likewise won’t be too upset if you need to carry her. She’ll apologize profusely for giving you trouble if it’s the latter and she could use some reassurance. If you tell her that you know she’d do the same for you, she’ll feel much better.

Ø  Carrying her crush around is something she never thought would happen; Tenten thought she would never have a crush. You’re different. As she feels you close to her back, the unbelievable happens—her face gets hot. She feels her heart pounding more than normal—can you feel it, too? She doesn’t…want to put you down? This is so nice. And when you both are having a casual conversation, the nervousness subsides. This is comfortable. This feels natural. She wants this. She really, really wants to have something like this. She wants this with you.

Ø  If you carry her around, she has time to sit there and think about what you mean to her. She doesn’t get this way around anyone. It’s not all heart-pounding and blushing and nervousness when she finally likes someone. That was never what she wanted anyway; it was about the ease, the comfort, the way you just “fall together.” She grips you a little tighter and buries her face in your shoulder, unabashedly memorizing your scent. It’s not as simple as a crush to her. To her, you feel like home.

Ø  As an S/O, Tenten loves to snuggle up to your back when you’re carrying her home. When you’re walking home in the setting sun she loves you all over again. You respect and love her for being strong and you show her in so many ways that you cherish her. It’s so nice to have someone as openly affectionate as you.

Ø  Alternatively, if she’s carrying you around and you snuggle up, she might just melt at the thought. She’s already decided that you’re going to cuddle a lot more when you get home.

Footsie

Ø  As Tenten gets older she becomes openly playful like her green-clad teammates, this kind of lighthearted affection is right up her alley.

Ø  Tenten is prepared—she’s probably the only member of her team who is. She catches on right away, shooting you the cheesiest grin from across the table. She immediately attacks pushes back, locking your foot between her ankles as your eyes meet. Suddenly, there’s a dangerous glint in her eyes and you can’t tell if that smile was meant to be intimidating or suggestive.

Ø  Both. It’s definitely both.

Ø  Oh no, OH NO she took it as a challenge. You’ve initated war. Calm down Tenten, it’s just a leg.

Ø  Once she latches on, she playfully tugs at you—not so gently—almost pulling you under the table until you admit defeat (to her made-up war.) And how can you not? She’s so gosh darn cute when she’s about to floor you using her legs. Those thick thighs save end lives.

Ø  Okay, so now she’s being sweet. She’s gentle enough to play footsie without too much thought, but if you try to tickle her feet be prepared to forfeit your life.

Ø  She’ll probably initiate it more often than you unless you really have a habit of it because Tenten isn’t shy with physical affection when she really gets invested in a relationship. It’s nice because this is something she can do almost anytime or anywhere and she doesn’t have to worry about “appropriate” affection in public when your feet are conveniently hidden under the table and out of sight.

Ø  It happens the most often when she’s falling asleep. Tenten overheats easily and doesn’t like to cuddle during sleepytime, but she still likes to feel your presence near her. She’ll gladly lock her feet with yours to have the minimal (but still meaningful) affection while she dozes off.

Ø  When you try to caress the side of her thigh in public or private, she isn’t even perturbed. Tenten rests her head on her hand, tilting her head in coy suggestion with a mischievous grin spreading across her lips. She immediately takes it a step further and reciprocates, making sure your face turns red enough for her liking. One devious look from those half-lidded eyes and you’ll be begging the waiter for the check.

Neji Hyuga

Piggyback

Ø  Rock Lee is the only man alive to ever have given Neji a piggyback (by force.) He won’t even entertain the thought of being carried, it’s just his way. The only way you can carry him is if he’s knocked out, otherwise just spare his dignity.

Ø  Neji will platonically give piggyback rides to injured teammates, but don’t try to jump on his back. The kind of unwarranted grabby-ness that academy/genin Ino and Sakura pulled with Sasuke would never fly with Neji. In fact, you’ll be the one sent flying if you get handsy without his permission.

Ø  So, say you just injured your leg and need to get to the clinic from the training field and he doesn’t have feelings for you. Not a problem, he’ll either have your arm over his shoulder or carry you if need be. He did it for Lee when Lee’s leg was injured, so it’s not an issue.

Ø  Now if you’re his crush things get interesting: don’t let his cool confidence fool you. Neji has no idea how to handle physical affection (at first) and gets put out of his comfort zone immediately. Being outside of his comfort zone is a big no-no for Neji. If he has a crush on you then he’ll do the most counterintuitive thing: he’ll try to get anyone else possible to take you, claiming earnestly that he needs to “continue training and doesn’t have the time.” He has a reputation, after all, and being nervous is certainly not a part of it.

Ø  Given that his style of fighting is the “Gentle Fist” and he doesn’t seem to be a “hard” Taijutsu specialist like Rock Lee or Gai, you might not expect Neji to have the same sort of effortless physical strength when picking you up—but he does. You can just barely make out the firm muscle in his arms and abdomen when you cling on to him. Yeah, feel free to swoon a little right now—he’s too distracted by the sudden warmth of your body to notice.

Ø  He’ll be quieter than normal—is that possible?—when carrying you to your destination, but you can feel a small tremble in his hands. It stands out because his other movements are smooth and disciplined. He’s trying to act as natural as possible and focus on where he’s going. He keeps his eyes locked forward, pretending not to notice the way your arms are around him or the fact that your head is -almost- resting on his shoulder.

Ø  The rest of the walk passes without incident unless you make a move yourself. Say something sweet to him coupled with a reassuring squeeze and you’ll never hear such a stuttering, flustered response in your life. Somewhere it ends with “stop saying such direct things..” but he really doesn’t want you to. It only happens for a moment, but the point was made—you made his heart skip a few beats.

Ø  If Neji can tell you want him there then he’ll be carrying you home, too. You don’t even need to ask. “I’m here already and it isn’t safe with your injury…Don’t worry about it. I’ll take you home.”

Ø  As an S/O, piggybacks aren’t really a regular thing with Neji. He prefers to hold your hand. If you end up having kids, though, he’ll love carrying them around the same way his father did with him when he was young.

Footsie

Ø  Neji has had very little exposure to physical affection in the past and had never paid much attention to couples around him. Little things like this go way over his head. He probably thinks you’re trying to kick him or stomp on his foot.

Ø  Neji scrunches his face up in this adorable little way when you try to play footsie with him under the table. He probably thinks that it was an accident, so if you keep trying he’ll move his feet, thinking you need more room. (Or that you’re being rude, but he’ll shoot you a look and bite his tongue for now.)

Ø  If he sees your pouting face after he moves his feet, he’ll take his time to process what in the world you’re up to. This boy has no idea what you want. Attention? You want attention? Either suck it up and tell him or resolve to live a footsie-less life.

Ø  Neji’s face is completely blank as you try to explain the concept to him. Internally he’s gauging how invested you are in this, because you’re about to put him way out of his comfort zone if he acquiesces. It’ll take a few moments for him to respond, during which you get an uncomfortable silence followed by a subtle ‘hm.’

Ø  Once you get over the initial blank stare, Neji will cautiously move his foot back towards yours and gently nudge. He has no idea what he’s doing and he feels silly. If you can subtly ease him into it he’ll relent and try to relax. Oh, it’s just like holding hands but…feet. He’s not sure if he likes it.

Ø  He’ll seem like he’s pouting about it, but the observant will notice the small, quiet look of adoration from the corner of his eye. Alright, he’ll let the cuteness ensue this time. He can appreciate that this would possibly be a way to show affection in public away from prying eyes. He has a much stronger preference for holding hands, but this will do. Especially if he knows you like it.

Ø  Once he can tell you’re satisfied (and you’re pretty cute about the whole thing, but he’ll keep that to himself) he’ll go back to what he was doing, letting this continue for a while…or at least until his leg gets tired.

Ø  If you decide to use your foot to say, stroke his leg, then the reaction will entirely depend on if you’re in public. Of course, Neji isn’t one at all for PDA—and he expects you to know that. He’ll immediately sputter and choke on whatever he’s drinking and stare at you wide-eyed. You can tease him a little to enjoy his flustered reaction, but that look means you had better watch it. Also, good luck getting him to ever play footsie in public ever again. You lost your privileges.

[ajokeformur-ray]

Hiiii! I'm very sorry for bothering you with this but may I send a selfship with Joker and Arthur? You're the only one who could understand, I need to share my love for the character ^^ Um, I'm a 27 years old hetero girl. 158 cm, long dark brown hair, black eyes, a bit chubby - and I don't like my looks at all. I'm a PhD student in Media Discourse, I also led seminars in Journalistic Genres last semester and there's a high chance that I'll be doing it again in a several months, I love every

aspect, if I’m being honest. I dream of having an academic career and becoming a professor one day. I’m good with books and studying but a failure when it comes to intimate things, I’m truly clueless in these and am oblivious to flirting and advances. I also would never admit my feelings to anyone, I prefer acting as there’s nothing. I’m an extremely kind and friendly person though I’m still a bit shy so prefer for other people to make the first step. I’m very loyal, gentle and caring and love

helping my friends. I still need my personal time though. Huge perfectionist. I love books, movies, metal and rock music, long walks. I have a huge phobia of snakes, I couldn’t even look at a picture of one. I also hate crowds and ignorant people. Ironically, I’m a Slytherin (but am very proud of my house). Nerd. Could be a bit clumsy. I usually act as the toughest girl around but get scared easily. Tomboy-ish, I don’t like wearing dresses, heels and makeup. Thank you! 💖

Hello!!! You’re no bother at all skskskk I got’chu!!! I just wanted to take a minute real quick to thank you personally for sticking by me with all the blog changes that I made. You’re one of my longest-standing followers and it truly means the world to me, so thank you so very much. I wish you all the very best and I hope you like this @rafaelina-casillas

Arthur // wc: 780.

There is an age gap between you which Arthur finds intimidating, so he would be incredibly hesitant to even start talking to you, let alone get into anything with you. He would also be intimidated by your intellect and your academic achievements. Why would you want to spend your time with him or even acknowledge him? He doesn’t understand your attraction to him, but he’s not about to question it too much. He really does love you, he finds you beautiful inside and out, and you think and feel much the same for him. He only got a little of the way through tenth grade and he was never given a choice about that or any other academic path, so he’s ridiculously proud of you for going all the way through to a PhD, and he tells you every chance he gets (for more on this, refer to your headcanon set here - I don’t want to repeat myself skskksk).  He just really is so, so proud of you, always, and he would help you to practice or prepare for seminars in any way you asked him to, even though he barely understands the material you’re required to cover.

You want to become a professor one day, and again, Arthur is super proud of you. He’s almost always bragging about you to his therapist, the chemist at Helms’, his boss and co-workers (though they bully him about it and on his worst days he comes home doubting your existence, but with patience and persistence and maybe one or two angry phone calls to Hoyt do you manage to stop this)… anyone who will listen to him about you. You’re super good at academics and anything which comes out of a textbook, but you’re not so hot with intimate aspects, and that’s the same for Arthur. The two of you are painfully oblivious to the others’ attention, and I really can’t see either of you even coming together without a third party to help you out. Picture this: Gary walks into the changing room at Ha-Ha’s and asks Arthur if he’s managed to ask you out yet. “No,” Arthur hums, “She doesn’t see me that way.” Gary would sigh, genuinely confused as to how two people so emotionally intelligent can be so stupid, and he’d pat Arthur’s hand as he says, “Just try it out, mate, you never know.” Gary does know, though, and a few weeks after that when Arthur comes in to work blushing, he’s only proven right. You prefer to act as if there’s nothing there, but Arthur would slowly start to realise thanks to Gary’s careful prodding that there is something there, and he would have to somehow overcome his own insecurities and doubts. Otherwise, you two will just dance around the large elephant in the room forever.

I feel like, inevitably, Arthur would get so anxious but also so annoyed that he loves you and he knows you love him, he knows, that he’d go along with you on a walk when the grey sky darkens and bleeds out into purple and blue hues, to add some atmospheric intimacy to an emotional conversation, and he’d shyly reach out and take your hand in his, his palm sweating slightly and his throat convulsing and jumping in nerves. You look at him, shocked but also slightly relieved that he had been the one to make the first move, and you squeeze his fingers. Arthur gasps lightly, almost inaudibly, and he slides his fingers more securely into yours, and you both understand that the decision has been made. You’re together now and in the end, no words were needed. You both just… knew. 

You love films but you’re super scared of snakes, and sweet, sweet Arthur would make sure to watch films which are coming out before you watch them, just to make sure that there are no snakes or anything else which scares you. He is incredibly protective, and if there was anything even slightly snake like in a film, like an eel or a water dragon or something, he’d tell you not to watch it. You hate crowds so when you go out for walks together or when either of you collects the other from work or university, Arthur would keep his hand securely in yours while you duck into back alleys, short cuts… He keeps you out of the crowds. You hate ignorant people so living in Gotham, you’re constantly irritated and on edge, but coming home to Arthur really calms you down and keeps you sane. He loves you, all of you, and come rain or shine, you’re all he needs, wants and lives for.

Joker // wc: 780 (what are the chances that these are the same word count, accidentally? skskskskk)

You had Arthur’s heart before you even really met, so immediately taken was he with you, and you stayed with him through it all until bent and broken was he forced to stand tall, or he’d die continuing as he was. As Joker, therefore, he is incredibly loyal to you. You’re literally his entire life. Without you, he really would have nothing left to lose. So no pressure, but you are the only thing, the only person, who keeps him sane and safe even from himself. He is still incredibly proud of you, super supportive and he does anything and everything that he can to let you know that no matter who he is or what he does, he still loves you so, so much. He’s completely and entirely devoted to you. It’s not unusual for him to let himself in to sit on your seminars, cheering loudly from the crowd and causing a bit of a disturbance; he’d stand up and tug on the sides of his crimson red blazer proudly as he waves at you; causing you some embarrassment. He really is just so proud of you and sometimes he literally shouts it from the rooftop, climbing out onto the fire escape and screeching out his feelings for you, laughing all the while. He wants everyone in Gotham to know that he’s “Not such a loser now, am I?”, and he’d definitely want for you to do the same, though he’d understand if you don’t. So long as he knows you love him, it’s all good.

Joker gets quite tense whenever you start talking about and making plans for your future, as stated in the headcanon set I did for you forever ago, but he would largely understand that you can be together as a couple while you lead very different separate lives. He’s still so supportive but he’s also not above using his fame, his connections with his followers, to help you to forward your career. And if an assignment doesn’t get the target grade? You might find a typo riddled email from your lecturer the day, saying that there was some kind of mistake and please don’t kill me, please. You understand immediately what happened and though you scold Joker, you find yourself unable to really tell him off because he’s shifting his weight around, his hands clasped in front of him, looking for all the world like a little boy getting told off. He just wants to help you in the best way he can. He never had any choice or chance in the life he was forced to lead, but he wants you to have all the choices available to you, no matter what. He loves you dearly. At this point in your relationship, you’ve learned how to read each other’s love languages, so you know when Joker is being affectionate with you, but if anyone else tried to do the same, you’d be completely oblivious, though Joker’s clenching jaw and savage comments will soon clue you in.

Arthur was attracted to you initially because of how kind you are, and though you’re shy, you’re also friendly so people just gravitate towards you. In a city as cruel and as shitty as Gotham, kindness is a treat so rare that people don’t even recognise it for what it is when they experience it, so the fact that you’re so kind makes Joker practically stick to you like glue. He loves you so much and he’d do anything for you; you’re endlessly loyal to each other, irrevocably in love with the other, and what you have carefully cultivated and built together is a treasure that you both cherish and protect with all that you are. You both respect each other’s privacy but you make sure to have allotted time each day which is only yours; Joker may wreak havoc all over the city but dear, sweet Arthur is never recognised in the streets; people’s eyes pass over him, so you can still go for long walks together if you want to.

You scare easily and Joker is Arthur x 1000000 so he’s even more protective of you now than he used to be, because he feels safer to be himself now. He’s almost always touching you, especially when you’re both out on the streets together, because you hate crowds and he’s very quick on his feet, so he can get you away from them effortlessly. Overall, it’s a wild ride to be in love with and to be loved by Arthur Fleck, but it’s a ride which pays off again and again and again, and once you’re together, that’s it. Ride or die, sweetheart, remember?

[vince-thrilligan]

Bob Odenkirk on Naiveté, PTSD, and Kim’s Downfall

“The hardest thing for me was to play the naiveté of Jimmy as a younger person, where he starts in the series. You could say he’s become more cynical, but really, it’s self-awareness and I love that.”

Awards Focus: In interviewing your castmates, we’ve heard a lot of praise for your work. What stands out to you as a highlight for this season?

Bob Odenkirk: Well, we had a great season overall. But my favorite thing is the way Jimmy learns about himself and exhibits this sense of self-awareness. It’s great because the hardest thing for me was to play the naiveté of Jimmy as a younger person, where he started in the series. You could say he’s become more cynical, but really, it’s self-awareness and I love that. On the other hand, what he does with that self-awareness isn’t too good. He has these realizations about himself, but they give him an outlet to become ethically unmoored.

AF: Well, it’s funny because Kim, who seemed to know exactly who she was in previous seasons, looks like she’s losing herself. Does Jimmy worry that he’s opened Pandora’s Box?

Odenkirk: It’s a very strange thing, that last conversation. Because at first, you’re probably thinking that Kim’s just trying to make him feel less alone. Maybe she’s just trying to have some fun, make some gentle light out of those dark instincts Jimmy has. Or maybe she does it to make him feel a sense of his own limitations. But then those theories seem to fall flat, because Jimmy says, “Let’s slow down.” And she’s like, “No, no, no, let’s keep going.”

And she seems to genuinely mean it, to have some genuine delight in hurting Howard, who doesn’t really deserve it. Whereas Jimmy obviously pulls some crazy stunts, but those are more childish, almost like a teen prank.

AF: In talking to Jonathan Banks, we learned that he disagreed with the writers on some of Mike’s choices and he told them so. Do you have points where you’ve given the writers some pushback on Saul’s actions?

Odenkirk: Honestly, yes. There are moments where I say that “I think this is too far,” or that I don’t understand the choice. And most of the time, we’ll have a conversation where we come to some understanding on the story direction, which is to say I compromise (laughs).

After all this time, I like this character. I want him to make the right choices, almost like a friend. But sometimes the answer from Peter Gould is simply, “He’s not your friend, and he doesn’t make the right choices. That’s the story we’re telling. You don’t have his ear.”

And in the end, we know how those choices pan out. We’ve seen Breaking Bad and the road Saul takes.

AF: Yet there’s so much we don’t know, the arcs of other characters that have yet to be answered. Mike gives Jimmy a great speech about being on a specific road and not being able to get away from it. What road do you think Kim is on, going into season six?

Odenkirk: Well, I gotta say, when you see that last moment of season five, you get a glimpse at one of the core elements of the story. Because Saul is no longer asking himself who he is. Now he’s asking, Who is Kim Wexler?

The woman who does that finger-point, gunshot gesture when asked if she’d harm an innocent man, who the hell is she? She’s done these little ethically compromised things, mostly as a team with Jimmy, with a kind of a sense of playfulness and partnership. But now there are real questions as to what’s going on in Kim’s head.

AF: The writers have certainly altered the status quo of the relationship between Kim and Jimmy over the course of season five. How do you navigate that as actors, especially in the context of broader character changes?

Odenkirk: There are definitely specific story choices and plot choices that are challenging to consolidate with the character. The moment where Kim asked Jimmy to marry her is one of those, where Rhea and I both wondered, How do we make this real? It was easier for me because all I had to do was act befuddled, which is how anyone in that situation would feel. It was harder for Rhea.

But I would say the hardest thing for me is when Jimmy’s doing a purely Saul Goodman thing, or doing something vindictive. It’s hard to understand that when you don’t have the instincts or life experience that might lead you down that road.

But that is a testament to the writers, they’ve given the character a sense of that now. Earlier on he would make these bad choices, and he seemed very blind to the ways in which these manipulative things would affect him and the people around him. Now he seems to understand how stuff can backfire. And he’s accepting that, moving forward with a stronger sense of realism. He’s choosing to be Saul Goodman in those moments. He’s more conscious about everything, from adopting the name to the flamboyant shoes and clothes. He’s choosing to play this role in part of his life, to give it a name, and to let that part of his spirit run rampant.

I love that development so much because the young Jimmy, he was hard to play because of his naiveté. As an actor, Saul’s self-awareness is great.

AF: In episode nine, you got to play a Jimmy who is not only physically beaten down from his trek through the desert, but also suffering from PTSD. It’s really unique to see him squirming in front of Lalo. Normally, he’d find something to say, but he’s in this weak state, and it’s just another facet you get to add to the character. The tension in that scene was incredible.

Odenkirk: Thank you. The thing is that Jimmy absolutely knows what’s happening. When Lalo says “Tell it again,” Jimmy knows he’s being played and prodded. He senses the danger, because this ploy can actually work. If you want to catch somebody in a lie, make him tell that story over and over. Jimmy knows what’s happening, but he’s too depleted to use his normal powers of logic twisting, to have the spirited energy for that kind of gamesmanship. But thank God, Kim comes through for him.

AF: Lalo’s terrifying in that scene and Tony Dalton brings so much to the character. What do you think’s going on in Lalo’s head as he listens to Jimmy?

Odenkirk: I think that was a tough one for Tony too, I imagine. You know, what’s going on inside that guy’s head who would usually just pull a gun and do it? He doesn’t care about anything.

But partly it might be that he figures he has Kim on his legal team. I mean, why not just keep her, she’s so good. If she’s got the grit and courage to give Lalo a piece of her mind, then she’s a good person to have on board.

AF: Vince Gilligan called episode eight the most challenging episode he’s ever directed. How was that experience?

Odenkirk: Yeah, filming in the desert was a brutal challenge, but even within the brutal challenge there was a kind of joy. I love when we have adventurous and physically demanding sequences. I just love it. One of the fun things about acting is going places that a real person doesn’t get to go very often. If they live their life with some degree of restraint and steadiness, it’s rare for one to find themselves lost in the desert.

AF: During much of their desert trek, Jimmy carries two massive duffel bags filled with cash. Practically speaking, how was it acting with those for multiple days?

Odenkirk: If those bags had been filled with real money, they’d have been 75 pounds each. I don’t think I’d get that far with 150 pounds. Maybe a couple miles, which is a lot less than the distance Mike and Jimmy covered. But the bags were actually 40 pounds each, which is still very heavy. So the physical effort that shows up on the screen is very real.

AF: I’m assuming the heat was the bigger enemy?

Odenkirk: It was nightmare heat. And of course, you’re playing things over and over again. And Vince is an extremely thorough director who is shooting multiple, multiple takes from every angle. But it all worked out, because my suffering was essentially the character’s suffering. I was all for that stuff, as long as it was safe. When you have such a big crew and you’re out in the middle of nowhere with temperatures that high, it’s genuinely dangerous. It took a few days to bring in enough safety equipment to keep everybody on the crew cool. It’s definitely a bonding experience to take on something that big together and Vince did a wonderful job of shooting.

He could have made a two hour episode if he’d indulged himself with the amount of cool footage we got. But him condensing that, it was even more impactful that way.

AF: This was a deeply dramatic season with some dark plots, but there was some comedic relief, like the cell phone tent scene. Is it as refreshing for you to perform those moments as it is for the audience to see them?

Odenkirk: Oh man, I have so much fun. I get really silly, and I really try to push it to the point where the writers want to tell me to pull it back a bit. But they wrote the character, and he’s a silly character, so I go with that. My trick is to go as far as I can, but try to sell it to an audience. For example, last season, I was at the grave pretending to feel at the one-year anniversary of Chuck’s death, because I know some of his law partners will come around to plant flowers and I want them to see me grieving. So I’m at the grave pretending to grieve and I’m actually saying “boohoo” as I cry. But I do it in such a way that someone approaching wouldn’t quite hear the word “boohoo.” I take these moments that the writers give me and push them as far as I can, because it’s really fun.

AF: One particularly funny moment featured Jimmy, a stunned Everett Acker (Barry Corbin), and a picture of a man having sex with a horse. What did you think when you read that, did you play around with various animal punchlines?

Odenkirk: No, we didn’t. It was written exactly that way and, in my opinion, it was perfect. By the way, Barry Corbin, who played Everett, is an absolutely great actor. I saw him in No Country for Old Men just the other day, and man, he’s great. I loved the absurdity of that horse picture scene.  Jimmy knows how to rope in a client (laughs).

Part of AwardsFocus.com’s BCS interviews [x]

[banditthewriter]

Choose Your Fate - Logan Delos - 13

You all wanted to see who the traitor was in Delos so that’s what we have here. Thanks for reading.

Tags are at the bottom. Let me know if you would like to be added to one of my tag lists!

*gif not mine*

Enjoy!

*****

"How are you guys holding up?" 

You smiled at the genuine concern in your dad's voice. It had probably reached him that not only was James Delos out, but Logan was the CEO now. And on top of that, it wasn't a secret that the Delos siblings had cut ties with their father.

"We're fine dad," you said as you tucked the phone between your ear and your shoulder. "Logan and I talked about it and we decided not to let it affect our relationship."

You weren't sure how it would work in the long run, but you were willing to find out. Y/L/N was focusing more on the government contracts while you waited for things with Marco to be finished.

"You tell that man you love him yet?"

"Dad!"

"Your mom is the one that wants to know. But I'm curious too," he added with a grin in his voice. "You two seemed to be made for each other so I just want to know that everything is going smoothly. I just want you to be happy."

You smiled as you worked on preparing dinner. Logan would be home from his first full day as CEO and you wanted to spoil him.

"I am happy. We both are. And part of the reason is because we aren't rushing anything."

Your dad let out a short chuckle at that. 

"Oh really? So you don't basically live with him right now, do you?"

You looked around the place that you considered home more than your condo and winced. 

"It's just because of Marco," you began but your dad cut you off. 

"And if Marco wasn't in the picture, it'd be a different reason. I'm not judging you baby. Hell, I bought an engagement ring for your mom after knowing her for six months. These things happen."

Yeah, but you never thought it would happen to you. 

Later, once you hung up and went back to cooking, you tried to picture the future. Once Marco was captured and everything was right once more, what would happen then? You'd go back to your condo and only see Logan every few days?

With both of you CEOs, it might be less than that.

The thought didn't sit well with you. You didn't want to lose this ease that the two of you had discovered but you also didn't want to rush anything. So what did it mean?

Hands fell to your waist and you jumped, your head smacking against someone's face.

"Shit!"

You whirled around in horror as you watched Logan clutch his nose.

"I'm so sorry! I didn't hear you come in and you startled me. Here, let me see," you said as you tried to move his hands to look at his nose.

"Nothings broken," you said as you checked his nose, "just maybe a bruise. I'm really sorry."

"Not your fault. That's what I get for trying to sneak up on you," he said with a grin as he rubbed his nose once more before he wrapped his arms around your waist. "I guess I don't have to worry about anyone catching you unaware."

You leaned up onto your toes to kiss the bridge of his nose.

"I'm making chicken and rice and veggies," you said as you turned back to the stove. "I wanted you to have a good meal after your first day."

His hands went back to your hips and he propped his chin up on your shoulder.

"You really don't have to do that for me."

"I'm wanted to. I know what it's like to get control of an entire company with not much warning although I think you wanted it more than I ever did.”

Logan wrapped his arms around your middle, giving you a gentle squeeze.

“You’ve done amazing things with that company,” he said as he leaned back to turn you around to face him again. “I know that Y/L/N doesn’t operate on the same level that Delos does, but you’ve surpassed us in so many ways. You’ve done great things and I know you’ll continue that.”

You swallowed thickly as you looked down at where your hands were pressed against his chest. There was so much welling in your chest that you weren’t sure how to get through the meal without bursting. Your dad’s comment about telling Logan that you loved him was playing around in your head like a broken record.

You did love Logan and you knew he cared about you, but if you said the words, it would put the relationship in a new light. That was a path you just weren’t sure that Logan was ready to take with you. It was so soon and the two of you were in a very new position.

“You’re going to do amazing things with Delos,” you said as you wrapped your arms around his neck, smiling at the way his eyes crinkled at your words. “I’m proud of you Logan.”

He leaned in to kiss you, but it lacked the usual heat. It was a simple press of his lips against yours, gliding across easily. You held on as you smiled into the gentle, sweet kiss.

“That means more to me than anything else I’ve been told today,” he said as he pressed his forehead against yours. “I don’t think I could have gotten here if it wasn’t for you.”

You laughed and pushed his chest, turning away so that he couldn’t see how flustered and embarrassed you were by his words.

“I know that’s not true,” you said as you turned to the stove, grabbing a spoon and then remembering you didn’t have anything to stir.

Logan didn’t press you. It was one of the things you loved about him; he knew when to push and when he needed to step back. This being one of those times, he kissed your neck before he walked out of the kitchen, unbuttoning his shirt.

“I’m going to change into something that doesn’t smell like the office and then I’ll set the table.”

You were struck by the domesticity of it all. And in the back of your mind, you tried once again to picture the future. You tried to imagine being alone in your condo at night, Logan up here in this beautiful house on his own. Part of you, a tiny little part that you rarely let see the light of day, wondered if he’d be here alone.

But he wouldn’t cheat. You trusted Logan; you had meant it when you said that monogamy was a requirement and you believed he was okay with that. 

You would just have to accept what the two of you had for now. Who could tell what the future would bring?

------

The consultants had given you a list of about fifty of the employees most likely to be involved with Marco. All of their clearance levels matched what would have been needed as well as having opportunity. It was all that they could give without letting the perpetrator know that you were on to them.

You knew that Logan was going through this at Delos as well. He had rehired all of the people that his father had fired, but he didn’t discount that any of them could be a culprit as well. 

You were about to start rifling through personnel files for a clue when your cell phone started to buzz on the table. You were surprised to see Juliet’s name on the screen.

“Hello?”

You heard a smiffle and immediately went on high alert. 

“Juliet? What’s wrong?”

The sniffle was there again before there was a bit of a rustle on the other line, a familiar voice telling her to give the phone over. Then Logan’s voice was there in your ear.

“Y/N? Hey, sorry about that,” he said quietly, “Juliet isn’t quite herself right now.”

“What’s going on?”

“We found the person that had been working with Marco. Well, the one from our end at least,” he added thoughtfully. “They thought they had cut off all of the video cameras but one of them is programmed to save the file and it was enough to give us an identity.”

You waited for a second but when he didn’t tell you more, you prodded him.

“Well? Who was it?”

Here he let out what sounded like a growl.

“It was William. Yes,” he said when you started to stutter, “my sister’s fiance. Apparently he decided that this was his best bet to get traction with the board so that he could take over without a hitch. Things went tits up when I took over.”

Oh poor Juliet.

“Is she okay?”

“She’s not sure if she wants to cry or laugh,” he said quietly, as if not wanting her to hear. “At least we found out before the wedding.”

You heard a noise in the background that was probably Juliet laughing. You sighed and flopped back in your chair a bit.

“Do we think that William was working with the traitor here at Y/L/N? Because that might help me narrow it down,” you added with a frown as you stared at the list on your desk.

“I don’t know. He’s not talking,” Logan said in disgust. “I don’t give it long before he breaks though. He’ll probably flip on Marco if only to save his own skin.”

One could only hope.

------

There was a message on your tablet. It was the one that had a secure connection to the server’s at Y/L/N but you rarely got messages on it when you weren’t in the office. Or when there weren’t projects being worked on. Since all projects had been halted indefinitely, you couldn’t imagine what it could be about.

You clicked to open it and nearly dropped the device.

Don’t get the cops.

It was Marco. It wasn’t signed and the connection said the user was Unknown, but you knew it was Marco. And you knew that you should get the cops, knew you should tell someone, but you found yourself typing out a response.

You need to turn yourself in. This has gone too far.

You looked over to your cell phone. This was your first lead to Marco and if you contacted the cops, you’d lose him. But if you kept him on the server long enough, you might get a link to his location.

This hasn’t gone far enough. You have no idea why I’m doing this.

So tell me. What has made you turn against a company who treated you like family? How could you do this to us? To me?

It wasn’t right to play on feelings he may or may not have for you, but you were desperate. While you waited for his response, you moved over to grab your cell phone. The messages would delete so you needed to take pictures of the screen.

You said you would do anything for the company, but you lied. I would die for that company. I’m doing this for the company

You frowned as you took a picture of the screen. Then you responded to that.

How are you doing this for the company? You stole from us. You stole from Delos. None of that is going to benefit the company

You waited for a response but it seemed like it wouldn’t come through. You snapped one last picture and locked the tablet. Then, after some debating, you grabbed your phone and called Logan.

“Hey babe,” he greeted with a sigh, “you’re a welcome break from the bullshit that is cleaning up after my almost-brother-in-law. How is your day going?”

“You know how I said I was going to stay at the house to work on the proposal by myself?”

“Yeah,” he encouraged, obviously intrigued by how you had started the conversation.

“My tablet, the one that’s linked to the Y/L/N servers? I got a message on it. I think it’s from Marco.”

There was a beat of silence where you weren’t sure if he had heard you or not, but then he was in your ear once more.

“What do you mean, you think it’s from Marco? You didn’t respond to him, did you?” At your prolonged silence, you heard him sigh. “Jesus Y/N. This guy stole from both of our companies. He had a damn collage with your pictures. You need to call the police right now.”

You frowned as you looked at your tablet. 

“If I keep the connection, we might be able to find him. If I tell the cops, we may lose him again. I just want this done,” you admitted softly, your voice breaking a bit.

You had been on edge for weeks because of this. It would be nice to not have to worry every minute of every day.

Logan sighed. You knew he didn’t want to agree with you, but you also knew he couldn’t deny that this was your best shot.

“Give it until the morning. If we don’t have more information by then, we’re calling the detectives. I mean it Y/N, you aren’t playing private investigator with this sicko.”

“I’m not,” you promised quickly, “I just don’t want to miss the chance.”

“If something happens to you,” he began quietly, but you wouldn’t let him continue with that.

“Nothing will happen to me.”

Logan let out a bit of a laugh, followed by another sigh.

“I’ll be home late tonight, so just make sure all of the doors are locked. I’ll let you know when I’m on my way.”

You smiled as you nestled down into the chair a bit.

“I’ll be waiting.”

When you hung up, you looked at your tablet and saw another message had come through while you were on the phone. You unlocked it and checked the message.

You can’t see it now, but you will. I promise.

You didn’t like the sound of that.

------

You were coming out of the bathroom when you heard footsteps in the house. When you peered around the wall, you saw Logan walking across the large living room.

“I thought you said you’d be late,” you said as you crossed over to him.

“Decided the office could handle it without me,” he said as he turned around to you. He looked you over, almost looking surprised. “I thought you were working?”

You sighed and looked over at the stacks of paper on the desk that you had been sorting through.

“I needed a break. After the thing with Marco this morning, it’s been hard to focus.”

Logan nodded slowly, his eyes darting back to your paperwork. He looked back at you and raised an eyebrow.

“What did you learn from Marco?”

“Nothing,” you admitted as you grabbed your phone, flicking through to find the pictures. You handed your phone to Logan before you flopped down on the couch. “He was just cryptic. I didn’t learn anything that would help us.”

He nodded as he followed you to the couch. He sat down a little softer than you had, putting your phone down on his other side. He raised one arm and reached over to brush his hand against your cheek.

“You’re warm,” you said as you closed your eyes to the touch. “I think I left the air on too long this morning. I was an ice cube all morning.”

He opened his arms and you moved to rest against him.

“How are you handling cleaning up after William? Has he said anything about why he was working with Marco?”

Logan sighed, his fingers brushing through your hair gently.

“He hasn’t said much. We assume that Marco promised him something for his silence, but we can’t be sure what it is at this point.”

You frowned as you sat up, turning to look at Logan.

“He’s completely lost it Logan. He thinks that what he did was for the benefit of the company. I can only imagine what he could have promised someone like William to turn against your family.”

Logan hesitated before he nodded. He tugged you back against his chest gently, his hand going back to your hair as if to soothe you.

“We’ll figure it out. We have to.”

That was something you definitely agreed with. You had a feeling that this whole thing was about to come to an end and you could only hold on to Logan and hope that it ended quietly. You weren’t sure you could take any more surprises.

X

A post for voting will be up right after this.

X

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[shooter-nobunagun]

Quarantine UST 7

//About to reach the climax (hah)...Apologies for the delay (gasp) but I took some time off and then when I came back work piled up so...this chapter took longer. Also, it went very differently than what I’d originally planned, so...I’m not sure if I’m 100% satisfied with the direction, but when the muses want something, there’s not much I can do about that. I think it turned out all right, I hope it feels natural and not too...’perfect fantasy’ scenario.

Warning, some mature content this chapter (masturbation) but not super explicit.

She stared at the text on her screen, debating if she really wanted to send the message, or simply relegate it to her ‘unsent drafts’; where it would join the hundreds of other ramblings that never made it to Asao.

[Sio]: I’m screwed; I seriously think I’ve got more than just a ‘crush’ on Adam...like, I literally spend all my time obsessing over whether or not he LIKE likes me ??? and even if he does, what if we get in trouble? >__<||||

“Ugh...mendoukusai...why do I always make things more complicated than they need to be...” Sighing, the sniper looked mournfully at the message, wondering if it was a good idea to spill the beans. Even though Asao was her best friend and had been a godsend this entire time, somehow just declaring it—even in text form—seemed to cement it somehow, instead of remaining this nebulous fantasy that she could always dismiss if things got too tricky.

For sure though, as the third week passed through, Sio noticed a definite change in Adam’s attitude towards her. He rarely made sarcastic or snide remarks anymore, and even his quips about her inexperience felt more like gentle teasing instead. No, there was something there, for sure...the real question now was whether it was a cozy, platonic friendship, or the stirrings of something deeper and more passionate. Shaking her head, she took one last look at the message, then hit ‘send’ before she could change her mind. She half-hoped Asao wouldn’t see it until the next day; if she responded now, Sio wasn’t sure she could sleep without another all-night rant session.

In the meantime, if she needed a way to wind down and get sleepy... Sio glanced at the phone one more time, before turning off the lights and pulling the covers up. With a practiced hand she casually slipped off her panties, preferring to touch herself directly. If she was feeling particularly horny and wanted to spend a little extra time stretching it out, then she kept them on, teasing herself through the fabric until she couldn’t stand it anymore and then plunged her fingers straight into her core. This time though, it was more a nightly habit than anything else; a little ‘me time’ and a good way to relax before bed.

She sighed as her fingers slipped through her curls, reaching that warm, secret spot. It usually took a bit of friction to coax her sensitive little pearl out from its hiding place, but that could definitely be helped along by just thinking about a certain tall, white-haired e-gene holder. “Mmn...A-Adam...I bet, your hands would feel pretty good, t, touching me down there...” Just the other day he’d put his hand over hers while helping her lift correctly, and the difference in size, along with those calloused, but gentle fingers, did not go unnoticed. Her own slim digits rubbed the outer hood, Sio shivering as she felt her folds getting moist from the stimulation.

‘Seriously, I don’t know how much longer I can keep it a secret...’ There was only about another week left on their quarantine, and Sio was simultaneously excited and depressed about it. On one hand, she couldn’t wait to return to some semblance of normalcy, but on the other, what if they went back to acting as if this time never happened? Boring as it was (save for a minor skirmish that did occur, and where Adam actually admitted her aim had vastly improved), a part of her was genuinely sad that there might never be another time where they would all be like this: acting like close friends and maybe even a family.

But most of all, what if these feelings she was developing for Adam never went anywhere? Or what if they faded, after things went back to normal? The twinge in her heart hit harder than expected, and her arousal dropped a little, to Sio’s frustration. ‘Ugh, just stop overthinking things, Sio...now’s not the time for it, anyway.’

She focused on her fingers instead, on the physical sensations this time rather than her mental fantasies. It was surprising how quickly she’d become familiar with her own body, and where it felt good for her. Her breasts, for instance, weren’t as sensitive, but it was still nice to massage them gently, and when she got really horny her nipples were nice to tweak with. Given that she was masturbating on a near-daily basis (and sometimes more than once a day), it was easy to experiment with different areas and techniques. After a while, she’d even worked up the courage to stick a finger inside, which wasn’t nearly as difficult or even painful, unlike most of the gossip she heard. It just felt a little weird, except the few times her fingers managed to brush a particular spot—though it hadn’t happened very often. Mostly she just like rubbing her clit, and it usually only took her a couple minutes to reach a satisfying climax.

“Nng...” Sio bit her lips; for some reason it seemed like she wasn’t really in the mood today. It was taking her longer than usual to reach an orgasm, and despite her fingers it felt like she was stuck at the plateau phase. ‘Maybe I should just call it quits and go to sleep...but argh, I’m already more than halfway there...’ She couldn’t decide which was worse: working towards a half-hearted orgasm, or trying to sleep while still tense and aroused. Taking a break she laid on the cool sheets, running a hand up and down her thigh, enjoying how smooth and soft the skin felt. 

Funny how she couldn’t really remember when or what cause her feelings for Adam to change. Since the beginning, they’d always had this weird, almost love/hate thing going on, possibly since their first encounter in Taiwan. Sio knew she respected his skills on the battlefield, though his manners towards her could’ve used a lot of work. Even then, even back when he was all sorts of abrasive and prickly at her, she still couldn’t outright hate him. Be annoyed and upset, sure, but there was always a part of her that wished she could know him better, to find out what kind of a person he really was.

‘Adam...’ Just thinking about him, whether it was his physique or his interactions with her, filled her heart with a sense of longing. What kind of person was he like before DOGOO? Who were his friends? Was his ‘tsundere’ attitude just a facade to protect his true self? She wished she could just work up the courage and confess her feelings, consequences be damned, but she knew it’d probably never happen in a million years. But oh, how strong those feelings were, sometimes...to know him beyond his e-gene and touch his true soul... Slowly, her finger gently prodded her insides, Sio imagining what it would be like if he held her tight in those strong arms; whispering sweet nothings into her ear while brushing her hair soothingly, telling her how much he cared about her and admired her, how cute she was...

“Hnn...! Oh!” To her surprise her body started jerking, Sio so caught up in her romantic fantasies that she didn’t notice her orgasm until it literally shook her out of her reverie. “Hah, hah...A-Adam...I wish, I wish we were real...” Suddenly reality came back, and the sniper remembered where she was: in her own room in a borrowed house, in the middle of a foreign city, waiting out a quarantine with her teammates in the hopes that they wouldn’t get infected and die. Panting, she pulled her sticky fingers out, wiping them down before putting her panties back on again. Now that the euphoria was fading, she felt an almost crushing sense of defeat. 

‘Hah, who am I kidding; there’s no way I can ever tell him...I just can’t! Not to mention, what if he...really doesn’t feel the same way? I don’t wanna make him feel awkward, not when we’ve finally established some kind of friendship...’ Yet the thought of taking this secret to the grave made her heart feel even heavier, and despite being physically exhausted, Sio sensed the beginnings of insomnia—and groaned.

Suddenly her phone lit up. She must’ve forgotten to silence it—but the sniper immediately snatched it up, scanned Asao’s reply, and hit ‘call’ without even bothering to text first.

“Moshi moshi? Sio-chan? Is everything alright?”

“Asao-san! I’m sorry for calling you so suddenly, but...I really need to talk to you!” Sio half-wailed into the phone, trying to keep her voice down.

“Oh my, of course Sio-chan. But calm down first, what’s going on? Aren’t you supposed to be asleep now?”

“Well, I was...but I just can’t fall asleep.” She heaved a sigh. “It’s about...Adam. And well, you probably already saw my text, but...” her friend hummed in understanding on the other end, “and well, you know! I just don’t know...what to do about this!”

“I see...” Her friend replied seriously, Sio so worked up she was on the verge of tears at this point. “How do you know it’s forbidden? Do you know for sure that fraternization among DOGOO members is illegal?”

“W-Well, no...I mean, I don’t know for sure...if it is, then I haven’t heard of it,” Sio admitted, “b-but even then, like, what if...what if he, doesn’t like me back...!”

“Okay, let’s take this one at a time,” said Asao gently, trying to get Sio to calm down. “Let’s not worry about whether or not it’s against the rules or whatever— I’m pretty sure even if it is, it wouldn’t stop your feelings.” Sio grunted in response. “As for whether or not Adam feels the same...I mean, what do you think? What’s your instinct tell you? I’m not there, so I can’t say anything aside from what I’ve heard from you—but it doesn’t seem like it’s completely impossible, right?”

“I...well, I mean...” Her instincts, huh? More than once the others had pointed out how Sio sometimes just seemed to know things, yet be unable to explain how she knew afterwards—except that it just came to her, like an instinctive pull. “I...feel like he’s aware that there’s something more than just, friendly camaraderie between us...I-I mean for sure, I’ve noticed he’s changed how he acts towards me and speaks to me...s, so, that’s a positive sign, I guess...”

“Mm hmm, that’s good.” Asao encouraged from the other end. “So he’s definitely not avoiding you or anything.”

Sio shook her head. “No, if anything we’ve actually been spending a lot of time together, lately...heh, who would’ve guessed,” she gave a small laugh. “But, I guess it’s just...I just can’t be sure, right? Who knows if he likes me like, that, or what if it turns out he’s just a really nice guy, underneath all that Jack the Ripper e-gene crap?”

“...Well, that wouldn’t be so bad, would it? At least you know he’s a decent guy then,” offered Asao, but that didn’t seem to console the sniper much, if at all.

“I know, but that’s not what I want!” She lamented, even though she knew how lame it sounded. “I know I know, at least he is a good person, and for sure, I am really glad that he’s not the asshole I thought he was. Trust me, if all we did end up becoming was just good friends, then I guess I’ll accept it, but...” Sio sighed heavily, scrunching up on the sheets.

“...I really like him. Like, I...want to be with him, for real,” she whispered, surprised at the sudden wave of emotions it triggered in her. “I-I mean, maybe it’s too early to say this, but...i-is this, what it means to...fall in love?”

“Ah...Sio-chan...” Even Asao seemed to be at a loss for words, Sio clutching the pillow to her chest as she tried to get rid of this heavy ache. “...If you have such strong feelings for him, then, I think there’s really only one thing to do.”

“What?”

“You should tell him,” was Asao’s response, Sio having frozen at the blunt suggestion. “I’m serious, Sio-chan. I know you, and the longer you keep holding it in, the worse you’ll feel.”

“B-But, but...what if he—argh—doesn’t...like me back?!” The poor girl nearly sobbed into the phone, still caught up in her emotions. “I just don’t know if I could handle that kind of rejection...”

“Now Sio-chan, you’re stronger than that,” her friend’s voice took on a stern tone. “Even if he rejects you, so what? Life goes on; trust me, if that happens it won’t be the end of the world. You’ll encounter a lot more challenges later on, after this. You can’t let this one thing dictate the rest of your life.”

Sio sniffed and wiped her tears, knowing Asao was right. “...I, I know... You’re right, Asao-san...I-I mean, I’m already half-resigned to just remaining friends anyway, so...” She took a deep breath to calm her nerves. “...You’re right. The worst part about this is just not knowing the truth. If he really isn’t interested in me, then fine; at least I can say I tried, and hopefully we’ll still be friends.”

“Sasuga, Shio-chan. I know you can do it.” Sio smiled at her friend’s encouragement. “Now you should be getting some rest. Tomorrow’ll look a lot better through fresh eyes.”

“Hai...oyasumi, Asao-san.”

“Oyasumi nasai, Shio-chan.” --------- “Mornin’ Ogura. You sleep alright?” Adam greeted the girl as she came down the stairs, a huge yawn tearing from her mouth. 

“Hnn...ohayou, Adam-san...” She rubbed her eyes, Asao’s words from last night still turning themselves over in her mind. Tell him... hah, as if she could just blurt it out. If only she could plan it out beforehand, but no; experience told her that whenever it involved her and Adam, nothing ever went according to plan.

“Sunny-side up eggs alright with you?” The sniper nodded in thanks, before wandering over to the cupboards to fix herself some tea. “...Everything alright?”

“H-Huh? Wh, what do you mean...” She nearly dropped the cup, but caught it just in time. “I’m just, tired...stayed up too late talking to Asao-san again...” Adam’s perception was incredibly sharp; she’d have to watch herself to make sure she didn’t give anything away.

“...I see. How’s she doing, by the way?”

“Eh. Same as usual...from the sound of it, Japan’s doing okay, except they’re not in school right now so she says it’s kind of boring staying inside all day.” Before she knew it, she had somehow automatically made two cups of tea, even though Adam usually drank coffee in the morning. “Oh, ah...I forgot, you usually drink coffee, don’t you, Adam-san?”

He glanced over at the mugs just as the eggs finished and he slid them onto a plate, alongside the bacon, toast, and other trimmings. “Sure, but I don’t mind tea, either. Remember, I’m British,” he winked at her, “and we take tea very seriously.”

Sio found herself blushing at that playful wink, and before she knew it her lips curled into a small smile. Every time he did one of those little quirks towards her, she felt herself growing warm. As they ate their breakfast in a now-comfortable silence, she thought back to what she’d told Asao last night. About how she was resigned to just remaining friends, and accepting it, if he didn’t feel the same...

‘...But is that really true? Could I really be satisfied with just staying friends?’ That was what she’d claimed, but thinking on it now, and especially with the two of them like this already... Biting her fork, Sio was beginning to think she wouldn’t be able to settle for anything less than going all in. If she was rejected, then fine--that would be something out of her control, but to not even try...

“Say. You got any plans today?” She looked up with a start at Adam’s question. Why would he be asking her this now... Pretending everything was fine (when it was definitely not), she gave a casual shrug.

“Not really. I-I mean, aside from the usual stuff...was probably just gonna try and finish my FF7 file, since we’ve only got like, a week left...”

He nodded. “Yeh; seems like time was slow and fast all at the same time, didn’t it?”

“Heh, yeah it did; oh man, I remember when we first got here, and I was complaining about how I was gonna survive a month with everyone...but, now that we’re almost at the end, I’m actually gonna miss it...” She gave a melancholy smile, stirring the leftover bits of eggs.

“Well, I was thinking of just going for a drive along the shoreline. Maybe get out and walk along the beach...” For a few seconds there was only the sound of forks scraping the plates, as Sio’s heart started to pound in nervous anticipation, while Adam turned away so she couldn’t see his blush.

“...Is it, just...you?”

“...Well, that depends; you wanna come with?”

Their eyes met for a second, and Sio was sure she was probably redder than a tomato—but the strange thing was, Adam was also oddly pink, with an expression she’d never seen before. Later on, she would realize it was a sign that he’d been just as nervous as her, but in the heat of the moment, all she could think of was how to not make a fool of herself.

“U-Uh, I—I um, I...I’d like that,” she heard herself saying, though the voice seemed to come from somewhere outside her body. “If it’s...okay...”

“Of course; it’s definitely more than ‘okay’.” He got up to clear their plates, Sio grateful he couldn’t see her smile. 

‘He’s actually taking me somewhere...just the two of us...! Wait, is this like a...date?!’ Her excitement was suddenly replaced with a bolt of fear, as Sio’s mind finally realized the possible implications of this. ‘Oh no, what do I do...! Maybe I should change—but into what? It’s not like I packed anything nice since all we’d be doing was lounging, not going out—’

Luckily she was saved from indecision by Adam announcing that he’d already written a note for the other two, and it would be easier if they left now before they woke up. They packed some water and of course, the usual masks and hand sanitizer; then Adam was easing them out of the driveway and onto the hilly streets, Sio finally sitting shotgun for once.

The car was awkwardly silent, Sio wrestling internally with wanting to start a conversation but not knowing what to talk about. In the end, she simply turned on the radio, and the two listened to whatever the latest hits were as the car wound its way out to the coast. At least the breeze was nice, Sio enjoying the fresh air while she subtly watched Adam shifting the gears; somehow, just watching his fluid actions, and trying to understand how everything worked, was quite interesting.

“Huh...so you have to shift in order...” she muttered to herself, unaware of actually speaking it out loud.

“Eh? You interested in drivin’, squirt?”

‘Ah! I did it again...speaking my thoughts...!’ The sniper tried not to panic, instead pointedly looking out the window.

“N, No, it’s just...I’m curious as to how you, uh, drive. Y’know, with the gears and all.”

Adam shrugged, navigating with one hand as they drove along the highway. “Mm, you learn it with practice, like everything else. Why, you want a driving lesson before this is all over?” He teased, shooting the girl a small grin. “Personally I’d recommend starting with an automatic, if you’ve never driven before...”

“No no, it’s fine; I highly doubt I’d need to right now, anyway...” Sio commented dryly. “...By the way, is it true? What Jess-san said...”

“About what?”

“That, you...also owned a motorcycle.”

So. She remembered. “...Yeh, it’s true. I do have a bike; it’s not here right now, though DOGOO has offered to ship it to one of their bases...” The sniper’s maroons grew wide at this piece of news, and inwardly Adam cursed at not having the foresight to having it shipped over. ‘Perhaps we could’ve gone for a ride on that instead...’

“Whoa...that’s so cool...” Sio mumbled, cheeks flushing. “Man, you’re like, perfect...you can do so many things, like—how do you even know all this stuff? And be good at them?”

To her surprise Adam started laughing. “Oh ho, perfect now, am I? That is definitely not the case...and if I really were perfect, then how come I still have trouble with speaking my mind or not being an arse?” He eyed her with a glance and the sniper’s cheeks turned pink, to his pleasure. “Besides, I’m pretty sure that was not your impression of me when we first met.”

“W, Well, still...I just feel so...I dunno, useless next to you—and everyone else, for that matter, sometimes...”

Adam didn’t respond, instead pulling the car into a space as they finally made it to their destination. Sio wasn’t sure if he was exasperated at her whining, or something else.

“C’mon Ogura, let’s go for a walk, yeh? Think that’ll clear your head a bit.”

“Ah...” She put her mask and silently followed him, right along the waves crashing against the rocks. The day had been cloudy for a change, and Sio shivered slightly, even with a jacket. It seemed San Francisco’s weather changed as often as her moods; sunny one day, and chilly with fog the next, sometimes in the same day. 

“Brr...it sure is cold here,” she rubbed her arms, the wind piercing through her thin sweater. “Isn’t it supposed to almost be summer?”

“Hmm, reminds me a lot of home, actually. Well, granted it’s not nearly as cool, but, the overcast fog...” Before she could say anything else, Adam was shedding his jacket and gently laying it across her shoulders. “Here, this better?”

“Ah, uh...th-thanks...” There wasn’t much she could say, without revealing her true feelings—instead Sio simply nodded, hugging herself as she slipped her arms through, the fabric still warm from his heat. ‘Mmm...of course it smells like him...it’s comforting, somehow...’

“Don’t worry about me, squirt,” Adam answered before she could even ask. “The cold doesn’t bother me much; in fact, I find it rather refreshing.”

“O-Oh...w, well, if you say so...” She didn’t even need a mirror to know her cheeks were pink at this point—in fact her entire head felt like it was on fire as they walked in silence along the trail, despite the sea breeze. In an effort to distract herself, Sio took in the sights: the grey-tinged clouds, waves that broke along the rocks, and the occasional seagull brave enough to dive into the water. The air smelled briny and cold, similar to Tokyo Bay—but again different. It was mesmerizing to stare out at the waves, how they grew, then crashed, receded and then it started all over again. A few joggers and bikers were out, but it seemed most folks chose to stay indoors when the weather turned.

They hiked to an outlook with a few benches, Sio taking a water break as Adam leaned over the railing, taking in the view himself. She desperately wanted to break the silence, but at the same time, she didn’t know what to say. Even if Adam had other reasons for asking her to come with, somehow, it felt wrong to force the question.

“You doin’ alright, Ogura?” Adam turned around, nodding at her newly-acquired jacket. “Let me know if you’d rather head back. Wouldn’t want you t’ get sick.”

“I’m okay, thanks to you...” She hugged herself again, as if to remind herself this was real. “U-Um, A-Adam...” he turned around slightly, and Sio felt her heart rate speed up, but she couldn’t stop now. “Th, this place...um, s-so...why did you ask me to...come with you...”

“...Hn. That is a good question.” He wasn’t looking at her directly, but she knew he was paying close attention. “I can’t say I really know why, myself...just, I thought you might like some fresh air, for a change.” He shrugged casually, and Sio felt her heart drop a bit, even though a part of her was also relieved.

“And, well...truthfully it’s because, I guess I’ve come to enjoy spending time with you, is all.”

The sniper froze again, at that comment. ‘No way...it can’t be, is he really serious...is he, really saying what I think he is...!’ She wasn’t even sure what to respond, how to respond—to anybody else perhaps, it would’ve been plain as day that Adam was admitting he liked her, and yet, her insecurities wouldn’t let her believe it.

“A-Ah, y-yeah...um, I, I do...like being out of the house, once in a while...” She was stuttering and trembling, all limbs going numb because there was just no way this could be real, it couldn’t be what she’d really wanted, all along...

“Well, that’s...good to know.” He was coming over now, hands tucked inside his pockets as he sat down next to her. “By the way, I apologise for being blunt, but...I hope I’m not botherin’ you, dragging you out like this. It’s just...well, you often seem so glum about your inexperience and such, I...wanted to see if I could take your mind off that. Y’know, you’re doing quite well, for a rookie. ”

“Eh? N, no, not at all...” Sio wasn’t quite sure what to make of his words; of how he wanted to try and cheer her up, and to know she wasn’t doing as poorly as she constantly thought... “I’m, glad to hear that...b-but, if I’m doing so well, then how come you’re still teasing me about messing stuff up? And don’t even get me started on before...you used to yell at me all the time, or complain about this or that...”

To her surprise he began to laugh slightly, Sio feeling her cheeks burning in a mix of indignation and embarrassment. “Heh, you aren’t wrong; I admit communication isn’t exactly one of my better skills...and here you were saying how I was perfect,” he turned towards her at last, a small smile on his face. “But spending time with you, like this...has changed my mind.”

“Um...” Her voice quivered before she knew it, Adam quirking a brow at her sudden nervousness. “U-Um, I, y, you...” There was no way she could weasel out of this one, now. They were literally sitting next to each other, Adam had all but confirmed that he liked her and didn’t think she was a mere ‘half-baked squirt’; so why was she still trying to deny it?

“Y, You...probably shouldn’t say things like that,” she uttered quietly, picking at the sleeves of her borrowed jacket. “You don’t have to baby me, you know...I can handle the truth...”

Now it was Adam’s turn to look astonished. “...Beg pardon? You think I’m just buttering you up for something?” There was slight cough, as if he couldn’t quite grasp her logic. “I meant what I said, Ogura. I wasn’t joking around or talking shit just to make you feel better,” she winced slightly at his words. “If there is one thing I wish you would improve, it’s your confidence. And I’ll admit, I haven’t been conducive to that, especially in the beginning...but surely you don’t have that low of an opinion of yourself? After all you’ve accomplished in such a short time?”

“B, But, I...it can’t...” The sniper shook her head, frustrated because she knew Adam was right. Even before DOGOO, speaking up for herself and having self-confidence was always hard for her. Even if it caused her loneliness, it was easier than stepping out of her comfort zone, dealing with those awkward looks and moments where people never seemed to know what to do with her. “I...how, how can someone like you see that in me?”

“...What exactly do you mean by that?” His gaze was piercing, but not cruel. “What do you mean, ‘someone like me’?”

“Y-You, you’re...you’re the leader of the Second Platoon, you can do pretty much anything you want—cooking, cleaning, killing EIOs without breaking a sweat, driving, riding a bike, video games, keeping us on track...” She was rambling now, she knew, but Sio couldn’t stop. “How can I...possibly be good enough?”

“‘Good enough?’ For what? To be a part of this platoon?” She didn’t need to see his face to know Adam was upset. “That’s certainly not the case—you really think you’d still be here if you weren’t good enough—”

“—I know that! That’s...not what I’m talking about...” How was it that someone who was so smart could also be so dense? Did she really have to spell it out for him...!

“Then what are you talking about?” Adam sighed, starting to become irritated with her half-answers and nonsensical words. “Can you not just say it straight, Ogura, for once?

“—How can a hanninmae like me possibly be good enough for you?!” She burst out at last, not even thinking about anything else other than what she had to say, at the moment. She felt the man next to her instantly stiffen at her words, the sniper herself too emotional to look. 

There was a seemingly endless stretch of silence after that, Sio squirming with embarrassment but knew she couldn’t turn away, not after all those words. It seemed like forever before the man next to her moved, Sio staying frozen in her spot.

“...Y’know, you really are something else, Ogura Sio.” She didn’t dare look at him in the face, not yet. “It’s funny that you say that...feeling that you’re not good enough for me...when I’ve...been wonderin’ the same about myself.”

“Eh...?” In one moment she forgot she was supposed to be avoiding his eyes and turned around, only to be met with a strangely bashful and...nervous Adam? “What, you...about me?”

Huh? Huuuh? The sniper’s mind flew into a frenzy, suddenly overwhelmed by the revelations—namely that Adam actually ‘like’ liked her, and he was insecure about himself? “A-Ano...wha, but you, I...”

“Need me to spell it out for you, squirt? Alright then, I’ll just say it straight: I like you, Ogura; a lot. And it’s not just friendship. You’re no fool, you know what I’m talking about. But I don’t want to force you into something if you don’t feel the same way. Least of all if you’re uncomfortable with the fact that we’ll be continuing to work together after all this.”

He was right. Technically, as members of DOGOO they still had a duty to work together, professionally. Rules aside, she knew that if they committed to a relationship with each other, it could potentially make things very messy. And yet...

“...I, I...don’t care about that. I-I mean, yes, I know it’s probably not the smartest or most logical idea, but...” She finally glanced up, trying not to let her tears fall. “I can’t change my feelings...heh, I think even if there were some kind of rule in place...it wouldn’t change my heart. ‘Cause I, I...really like you, Adam...a lot...”

“...Well, let’s be real, since when were either of us good about following the rules, anyway?” With that one statement, the tension seemed to crack, and Sio couldn’t help but burst into giggles, Adam following suit as the two just laughed.

“You’re pretty when you smile, you know that?” 

“Ah—I, uh, mmm...” She blushed as Adam wiped her tears with a tissue. “Y, You should smile more, too...you’re much less scary when you do...”

Adam quirked a white eyebrow.  “Oh? You found me to be intimidating? Well, I guess that’s another thing I’ll have to work on, huh?” 

“We should both work on it. How to smile better.” The sniper screwed her mouth into a smile-grimace, which only caused the white-haired holder to laugh harder. “H-Hey, I’m trying...!” But she couldn’t help but laugh, too.

It felt like forever since they’d come here for their original purpose of hiking, but as Sio checked her watch, in reality it’d only been about half an hour. And yet everything before that point was now completely different; her feelings, perspective, and most of all what she and Adam were to each other, now...

“U-Uh...Adam-san...? Does, does this mean...well, what are we, now? Does this mean we’re...going out? Like dating?” Her face still flushed as she stumbled over those words, unused to saying them out loud.

He smiled at her, before gently taking her hand for the first time, Sio squeaking in surprise as his fingers closed around hers. “Sure, I suppose...I mean, I don’t really know much myself...but if that’s what you want, then I’m fine with it. Which means...guess I’ll be your boyfriend, from now on. Or lover, partner...” Those fingers brushed against her palm and she shivered; at last she could feel him in an intimate manner, but when it actually happened suddenly she felt very shy, even though it was nothing close to what she fantasized about.

“Mmm...I, I want that. Th-then, I’m...your girl...friend, now,” she nodded to reassure herself, squeezing his hand tightly in return. “Though, I’m not sure I want to tell everybody about it, yet...you know, like Newton and Gandhi...I, I’m sure eventually I’ll be okay, but just, for now...”

Adam nodded, rubbing her shoulder in a reassuring manner. “Same; frankly, it’s none of their business, and knowing what gossips those two are...” He rolled his eyes. “I’m sure it’s bound to come up, sooner or later...but for now, let’s just have this be our little secret, yeh?”

Sio couldn’t help but smile as they walked back to the car. “Hai! Oh, and uh, one last thing...” Adam gave a quizzical look as they got in. “U-Um, it’s okay to call me...’Sio’ now. Just ‘Sio’.” 

Something warm bloomed inside her chest as she said that, more so when Adam’s cheeks turned pink (he was so cute when he blushed), before he nodded. “Of course...Sio. But that means, from now on...I’m just ‘Adam’, too.”

“Okay...Adam.”

[dingdonghun]

Just Your Typical Sick Day~

Genre: Fluffy fluff

Characters: Namjoon, y/n

Word Count: 7,274 characters

I am making this for myself because I am one sick puppy and Namjoon is the love of my life. I hope everyone enjoys it!

Summary: Unfortunately you have managed to catch a virus of some kind from a co-worker, and you are stuck at home in bed. Your boyfriend, Namjoon, won’t let you leave the bedroom and insists on taking care of you. This is where it gets a bit questionable, though. You are well aware of how clumsy he can be when he is worried or excited.

An intentionally drawn out groan escaped your lips, the bed covers pulled up over your head to block out the sunlight. A cough forced its way out of your throat and confirmed that, yes, your throat was even more sore than yesterday. You could spend all day cursing your co-worker for coming to work sick and giving this to you, but you knew it wouldn’t change your situation, so you opted to let it go.

Both unfortunately and fortunately, depending how you looked at it, your boyfriend, Namjoon, was keeping you bed-ridden. It’s for your own good, he assured you. You scoffed at the memory and made an attempt to crack open your eyes and pull the covers down past your nose.

Just as that moment, Namjoon peeked his head past the door frame, checking up on you for the tenth time since he had gotten up an hour ago.

Namjoon was what you liked to call a worry wart. You only called him that because it earned an exchange of playful banter, but you knew that he just really cared about you, and if he was given an opportunity to pamper you and treat you like a princess without you getting annoyed, he would take it in a heart beat.

“How are you feeling, Princess? Is your headache gone? How is your throat feeling?” 

Your eyes slowly shifted to look over at him, your eyelids barely open. Your hair was a mess, your skin was pale and your lips were chapped. It was fair to say that you probably looked like a very sick version of Oscar the Grouch. For some reason, though, Namjoon always had the most gentle and vulnerable smile on his lips when he saw you like this. You would never understand why.

“My throat still really hurts, but I think for the most part, my headache is gone... I can barely feel it.” You cringed at how strained your voice was. It was hard to talk.

Your boyfriend’s brows furrowed as he examined you. “Do you think you can eat something? Do you want me to make you some soup?”

“I think I can manage to get something down, Joonie.” Slowly, you began to push yourself out of the bed, only to hear a loud scoff before Namjoon rushed into the room and gently laid you back down. A strained groan was your only response.

“Don’t give me a ‘tude, you are too sick to be cooking for yourself. I will do it, so please make sure you get plenty of rest.”

You rolled your eyes at the over-protective man in front of you. He was a genuine, loving and concerned boyfriend, but you could never sit in one place for too long or you would just go crazy. 

“Can I at least go take a shower while you cook, father?” You prodded playfully.

Namjoon raised a brow and smirked as if he was going to make a remark, but just sighed in resignation instead. “Okay, you can take a shower. Go wash all of the sick off of you.” 

He cupped your cheeks in his hands, giving them a gentle squish which was followed by a chuckle of his own. Leaning down, he gently pressed his lips to your forehead and let them linger, eyes closed comfortably.

“I love you.” 

Your heart practically melted. Every time he got like this with you, you could barely stand it. It gave you butterflies in your stomach and made you want to jump and shout to the world that he was yours. 

It also made you upset that he did this to you when you were sick, and couldn’t kiss him back, lest you get him sick in return. 

“Joon, that isn’t fair, I don’t want to get you sick.” You pouted.

Your boyfriend simply smiled before pulled back and walking out of the room, presumably to the kitchen.

You let a long sigh slip through your lips before slowly getting up off of the bed once more and making your way to the bathroom. You turned the water on to a practically boiling temperature, something you felt you desperately needed, before slipping in.

While you were in the shower you pondered on how you could get your worry-wart of a boyfriend to at least let you sit on the couch and watch a movie with him. Sure, he was in the same house as you, but being stuck in the bedroom wasn’t letting you see him too often. 

After you decidedly spent enough time under the steaming water, you shut off the shower and towel-dried yourself off before opening the bathroom door and stepping back into the room.

As if Namjoon had supersonic hearing, he shouted from the kitchen to you, “y/n, get back in that bathroom and blowdry your hair! A wet head could make you more sick!”

You pouted out your lower lip and flailed you body slightly in protest, a mini-tantrum, if you will, before turning around and going back into the bathroom to do as he asked.

Once you were fully dry, you walked back into the bedroom and put on some fuzzy pajamas to keep yourself warm and just as you finished getting dressed, you heard a loud crash from the kitchen, quickly followed by an angrily muttered sentence that you couldn’t quite make out, aside from the word he muttered slightly louder than the rest, shit.

You let out a soft laugh, figuring this would happen at some point. It was well known that whenever Namjoon is too excited, stressed or focused, he tends to drop or break things on accident. It sounds like he dropped a bowl. Hopefully not already full of soup.

Quickly you picked up your Koya plush and hugged it to your chest before shuffling out of the bedroom to the kitchen.

“Joon, are you okay?” You fretted, hoping he didn’t cut himself.

Your boyfriend turned around to look at you, seeing your fluffy Pajamas and Koya in your arms warmed his heart and a big bright smile appeared on his face.

“I’m okay, princess. I just dropped a bowl while I was trying to do too many things at once. But the soup is done!”

He hesitated for a moment, then looked at you with concern of his own. 

“Why are you out of the room? You aren’t dizzy, are you? You should be resting.”

A low groan rumbled from your damaged throat, followed by another pout. “Joon, I really miss you, I am so lonely and bored in there. Can we please watch a movie together? I promise I will stay on the other side of the couch, I will even wear a mask”

Namjoon frowned and a pang of guilt struck his heart. He had no idea you felt so lonely, and being the soft boyfriend that he was, he immediately buckled.

“Awh baby, of course we can. You deserve a break from the room anyways. As long as you are feeling well enough.” 

He quickly poured your soup into a new, unbroken bowl, cleaned up the shattered pieces on the floor and brought the bowl to the living room table. Once he set it down, he turned to you and lifted you up in his arms, sitting down on the couch and laying you in his lap with your back in the crook of his arm. It made you feel like a baby, but that wasn’t really a bad thing. You loved being pampered. 

“What do you want to watch, princess?” he inquired.

Namjoon had finally gotten you to give the show Friends a try, and you figured now was a great time to continue since neither of you had anywhere to be in the morning. 

“Can we continue where we left off on Friends?”

A triumphant grin spread of your boyfriend’s lips and you instantly knew what was coming next.

“See, I knew you would get into it sooner or later!” He teased before smothering your face in kisses. It turns out he was keeping his distance the whole day because he knew if you were right there with him, he wouldn’t be able to resist. 

Well, it looks like next week the roles will just have to be switched!

[ikesenhell]

We Shadows

This is Chapter 10 of I See Starlight. You can find all other IkeSen works of mine here. NOTE: SPOILERS FOR TO HONOR AND PROTECT. If you have not read it, please go back and do so before proceeding. Warning: This starts with some bad bad feels/major character *non traumatic* death. You’ve been warned. It’s also kind of inevitable for a fic that spans a certain amount of time. Also: blood, minor horror elements.

By the time their son was born, the Nine knew Shingen was on his way out of the world. His health never recovered after the Invasion. He’d been reduced to leaning on his pregnant fiancee, Rose, as much as his cane. Even when he kept the smile on his lips, they all saw how much pain he was in--so after Hideyoshi and Mitsuhide and she had their turn with him, they let Shingen and Rose settle into the bedroom with them and hold the baby.

“Look at him,” Shingen crooned, patting the boy’s nose with his fingertip. “A good man, I’m sure. Look at his eyes. That’s the gaze of a fighter. He’ll do great things.”

Scarcely an hour later, he was on his deathbed--and then, gone. 

Where Yuki cried openly at the funeral, Kenshin was stoic and impassive as ice, only the tight clench of his hand around his second wife’s hand betraying him. Sasuke Sarutobi was appointed to the empty slot a week later. It was a good fit. The former bodyguard was quiet and polite enough to evade faux pas, but strong enough to win over Kenshin’s utilitarian facade, and the wheels of time moved on. 

They sold the little one room townhouse for a larger one. Rose even moved in with them, for a time, until her own son was born: Shingen Takeda. He was a redhead like his father. 

As for their own child, Gin Toyotomi-Akechi (they’d gotten into a bit of an argument about whether or not to name him ‘Nobunaga’, which was shut down when she pointed out that ‘Nobunaga Toyotomi-Akechi’ was a mouthful) grew like a weed. He was five when she became pregnant again with Saburo, their second son. And--last of all, when Gin was already fifteen and Saburo ten--Kaito Nobunaga Toyotomi-Akechi (they relented) was born, an eerie echo of both his fathers. 

“I think you had yourself a chimera child,” Ieyasu remarked, doing a check up on the two year old. He was a frequent sight at the house; his four children, Masamune’s daughter, and the junior Yukimura and Shingen (and Shingen’s half-sister) were forever emerging in the front lawn and begging to play. “That’s rare.”

“What is that, exactly?” Hideyoshi hovered anxiously. “It’s nothing, I hope?”

Masamune grinned. “Hideyoshi, you’re gonna go grey faster if you worry like that.”

Ieyasu brushed him off with a scowl. “We aren’t certain. The best theory we have so far is that it started as twins, but the eggs merged together.”

Kaito stared at Ieyasu with huge gold eyes. “Does that mean I’m a cabbage?”

“A what?” Ieyasu softened at the child. 

“A cabbage! Shingen said that cabbages are people who eat other people--”

“That’s a cannibal, a cabbage is a vegetable.” The blonde corrected gently. “And no. You’re not. Also, someone needs to talk to that child.”

They were in their late thirties and early fourties now, and Mitsuhide wondered where he’d ever gotten so lucky.

Their house filled with the chaos of three growing boys and a million different machines, all prototypes of their mother’s. The Nine kept them all busy, but god if he didn’t give everything in him to their family. He nestled alongside her on the porch, his knees stacked with hers and the gentle brush of her thumb insistent over his knuckles.

She chuckled softly, resting her head onto his shoulder. “Can you ‘see’ Hideyoshi out there?”

“No. I think he’s beyond my sight. What’s happening?”

“Mmmm.” He knew that sound. She pulled in closer to him, the hum of her arousal nearly vibrating off her skin. He loved how attractive they were to her still. He never doubted, not for a moment, that she was as in love with the two of them now as she’d ever been. “He’s wrestling the boys. Gin kind of has him in a headlock, and Saburo is trying to pull his arms down. He’s holding on to Kaito to keep him from getting hurt. You know how he is.”

He chuckled and wound his fingers between hers. “I do. Do you want me to call him inside with us?”

“Oh?” She played coy, but he heard the tease. “Whatever for, love?”

“I don’t need my eyes to read you. I think we could all be doing a bit of wrestling ourselves.”

The giggle was music to his ears. He nuzzled his nose into her neck and listened to her laugh, her hands running through his shoulder length hair. God. He was so, so, so very lucky. He wished that all would have the same fortune he had. 

“What’s going on here?” Hideyoshi emerged panting.

“Nothing much--currently. We could rectify that, if you get Gin to watch the other two and grant us three some time alone.”

“Oh--Oh!” He heard Hideyoshi’s blush. “Ahem. Uh. Yeah. Absolutely. Hang on, I’ll--I’ll be right behind you two.”

“Oh, I know you will be.”

“Mitsuhide.” 

He restrained a genuine laugh and followed her inside. 

---

Eighteen years after the incident at the Well, it finally opened to them. 

Yukimura and Masamune inspected it first before returning to the others. Even then they didn’t exactly provide a report. “Hideyoshi?”

“Yeah?” He answered uncertainly. 

“Could your wife come with us?”

“No.” All those ancient fears of whatever lay under the city reared their ugly head. “Absolutely not.”

“Hide--”

“No!”

“I promise it’s wo--”

Mitsuhide clamped a hand over Hideyoshi’s shoulder. “Why?”

“There’s... shit, I don’t know how to explain this. Yuki?”

The other man squinted at Masamune as if he had three heads. “What makes you think I’m better at this? It looks up her alley is all. It’s not dangerous or anything--we’re pretty sure.”

“Pretty sure?” Hideyoshi barely kept his tongue in check. Fortunately, Mitsuhide intervened. 

“That’s fine, so long as we go with her.”

---

She, Hideyoshi, Mitsuhide, Yukimura and Sasuke all descended beneath the well one at a time. Hideyoshi squinted down the long, damp pathway each way, crinkling his nose. “When was this made?”

“Judging by the stonework? I’d say that this was a construction contemporary with the oldest of our structures in the City.” Sasuke cleared his throat. “Approximately the same time, I’d imagine.”

“Thanks for the translation, Encyclopedia.” Yukimura scoffed, rolling his eyes at his best friend. “Come on. Follow me.”

Further and further into the dark they crept. Yukimura lit a lamp, but it cast a feeble glow. Hideyoshi wrapped his wife protectively beside him (and she cast him an amused stare but allowed it regardless), and finally they found the item in question: another lamp, with a single fraying wire beside it. 

“Here.” Yuki tapped his flame to it, and--

SsnnnnnsnAP! A ghastly sizzling sparked off the tip of the wire and crackled along. Bit by bit, the hallway before them burst into life, weak lamps struggling in the dim yellow glow. She gasped with shock. 

“What happened?” Mitsuhide asked. 

“Uh--” She hesitated. “Apparently the residents down here figured out how to formulate some kind of electric lighting system. It is bad, but it works.”

“Fascinating.”

“The lighting appears to be wired in afterward.” Sasuke shoved his glasses up his nose. “Interesting.”

“Right.” Yuki coughed. “Well, it only stays on for so long. The lights get dimmer and then start going out, and we’d really like to clear this place once and for all. I don’t suppose you can figure out a way to fix it?”

“Fix it?” She echoed, her eyes lighting up. “I’d love to. This would be incredible to study.”

“Are you sure...?” Hideyoshi cautioned. An uncertain fear lurked in his throat. “Especially given the past of it...”

“I know. I won’t be down here alone.” She smiled and pet his hands. “Don’t worry, my dear. I’ll be just fine.”

---

The month passed slowly. Bit by bit, she restructured and rewired the lamps, changing out their filaments, discovering their secrets, illuminating the lost pathways under the city with greater clarity. Sasuke, for his part, did his best to research its uses and came up blank. 

“Damn,” Kenshin muttered, rapping his fingers across the table. “Ishida would have been very useful for this.”

“I know,” Nobunaga agreed. His black hair was shot with silver now. “But it is what it is.”

Hideyoshi visited down there as often as he could. She was delighted; he saw it in the way she handled the artifacts, prodded them for information and learned what the ancients knew. He almost warmed to it too, except for--

On one of his days off, he was in the kitchen, getting ready to come visit her in the well, when his front door slammed open.

“Hideyoshi!” Ieyasu screamed. 

He was already halfway to his sword. “What happened?!”

“Just--just come on!”

They sprinted toward the alleyway. Masamune staggered out of the narrow opening first, what looked like grease coating his hands. Next came Nobunaga and Kenshin, both of their arms supporting her between them. Hideyoshi grabbed hold of her and checked every inch of her, blacking his hands with the viscous liquid sticking to his skin. 

“Are you alright--are you--what happened--?”

Mitsuhide emerged last of all, his mouth grim set, the black substance streaking down his face and through his ghost-white hair. Over his shoulder he dragged a figure so bloody and ragged he barely recognized him: Yukimura. 

---

It was a while before Yukimura stabilized and she was coherent enough to explain what happened. Mitsuhide, for his part, knew nothing. All he understood was they were under attack and then--and then Yukimura crumpled, and he couldn’t see but he knew well enough that his wife was down there, so he just threw all of his magical arts in a massive cone and hoped it did the trick. Presumably it had. The longer they scrubbed away the tar-like substance, the more obvious it was that it wasn’t just any liquid. 

“I think,” she managed shakily, “I think that was abandoned for a reason.”

Kenshin settled in by her knee. Hideyoshi almost snapped, but reason held firm and he just rubbed her arms, stilling her. “What happened?”

“So--” She inhaled deep, stabilizing breaths. “We got to the underground palace. It has--it’s really beautiful, you know? Really beautiful. Obsidian walls, fantastic carvings--Um, anyway--” Another breath. “I was up in the rigging, changing out some of the lighting, and then there were... shadows.”

“Shadows?” Kenshin echoed. “Of something?”

“No. Just... just shadows. Nothing else.”

Sasuke paused. “This... might be crazy, but do you think the lower levels were both lit and abandoned because this was known?”

“Rabid, killing shadows?” Nobunaga questioned. “This isn’t like anything we’ve heard of before.”

“I can take a look into the Royal Collection for any mentions.”

“Please do.”

“So--so what, then?” Hideyoshi managed shakily. “So we just close it back up then, right? Can it not live in the light, whatever it is?”

He knew before they said anything that it was a foolish hope. She pinched her nose between her fingers and inhaled. 

“I don’t know, honey,” she answered. “I don’t know. There was plenty of light when they attacked.”

“Then we have a potential threat on our hands.” Kenshin swept coolly up from his chair. “If light kept it at bay this long, we will have to discover a way to intensify it. Can you do that, Princess?”

“I can definitely try and figure something out.”

“No!” Hideyoshi snapped. “No! She might’ve died! Yukimura nearly died!”

“I agree,” Mitsuhide added, “This could’ve gone very poorly--”

But the flash of Kenshin and Nobunaga’s eyes stilled them both. It didn’t need to be said. The unspoken reminder of the Invasion swirled between them, and the ghastly silence settled uncomfortably. 

“I can figure something out,” she started again, more firmly this time. “Because if it gets out, my children are here. I can figure out some kind of a machine.”

[heartslogos]

newfragile yellows [287]

Evelyn finds the Iron Bull sitting by himself at the bar of the Herald’s rest, large form leaning against the well tended wood as he drinks from a very large tankard of ale.

“If you’re looking for Wolf she isn’t here,” he says when she tries to subtly look around him for a sign of the mage, “We aren’t actually attached at the hip. She doesn’t like it when I drink during the day. I think she’s probably poking around the merchant caravans by the main gates.”

“I know you aren’t,” Evelyn says, taking a seat next to him. “Oh, no - I don’t - “

Evelyn is about to say that she doesn’t want a drink at this particular moment but the Flyssa has already put a much more moderate sized goblet in front of her.

“You look like you need it, ma’am,” Flyssa says and then walks away before Evelyn can protest.

“If she’s saying it then it must be true,” Bull says, nudging her goblet with his tankard, “Bottoms up.”

“Right then,” Evelyn says, “She doesn’t like it when you drink?”

“During the day,” The Iron Bull stresses, “She doesn’t like a lot of shit that I do. Wolf doesn’t like it when I drink during the day, she doesn’t like me walking around shirtless, she doesn’t like me flirting with other people…”

Evelyn turns the words over in her mind because it wouldn’t make sense for the two of them to be so close if one of them was constantly picking at what seems to make up vast portions of the other’s character.

“Why?” Evelyn asks and the Iron Bull grins around the lip of his tankard. “Why doesn’t she like those things?”

Evelyn knows that if there is something Ellana doesn’t like, the Iron Bull doesn’t do it. Ellana asked the Iron Bull to stop trying to rip Dorian open like a hang-nail to the root and he did. Ellana asked the Iron Bull to attempt patience with Cole even though he’s unnerved by demons and he did it. Ellana probably asked the Iron Bull to join the Inquisition - Qun and all aside, Evelyn is pretty sure that the Iron Bull would have come just for her.

“Knew there was a reason why Wolf liked you aside from all that magic theory stuff,” the Iron Bull says. “She doesn’t like me flirting with other people in front of her because she thinks it’s  unfair to the person I’m flirting with. It puts them in an awkward position. Even if they know that she doesn’t care if I’m sleeping with other people. She doesn’t like me walking around shirtless during the winter because usually she ends up being the one taking care of me if I get sick and in her words I turn into a philosophical nightmare that’s best avoided at all costs.”

Evelyn can’t really imagine the Iron Bull as a philosophical nightmare, but then again Evelyn doesn’t really talk to the Iron Bull that much regarding anything like philosophy or figurative matters.

“And the drinking?”

“Well, she usually has stuff to do during the day that she can’t do if she’s got a buzz going. Alcohol and magic don’t mix, right?” Bull shrugs a shoulder. “You know, I’m going to tell her you asked and she’s going to like you even more. Wolf likes people who dig deep.”

“About that,” Evelyn leans closer to him and lowers her voice, “Is there a reason why you call her Wolf? Isn’t that…sacrilege?”

Bull blinks at her and then laughs, body pushing back from the bar table as he throws his head back. “Relax, Inquisitor. Everyone on my team’s got nicknames. Stitches stitches people up, Grim’s quieter than dirt, you know? And Dalish was taken, so she gets Wolf. No article in front. We’re good.”

Evelyn turns the words over in her head. Because she’s found that things are rarely so topical when you’re dealing with a Qunari spy.

“There are other things to call her,” Evelyn prods, “Aside from the obvious reasons, why Wolf?”

“You mean aside from the many wolf skins she wears?” The Iron Bull responds dryly.

“Aside from those.” Though they are very impressive and intimidating. As is the staff.

The Iron Bull hums, turning his tankard on the bar with slow steady movements of his fingers.

“She’s Wolf because if I called her Ataashi then she would have run and I’d have never gotten her back,” He says with a gentleness that Evelyn didn’t know he ever really chose to use. “And it’s just stuck since then.”

“Oh,” Evelyn says. “You like her.”

“Yeah, I mean. I hired her.”

“No, I mean. You like her.”

The Iron Bull actually turns around in his stool to look at her, “Are you asking me if I like, like her like we’re eleven year olds? Yes, Trevelyan, I like-like her the same way you like-like your Commander, except neither of us wants to go at it like the two of you do.”

Evelyn sputters and the Iron Bull’s smile is a touch sharp but also genuinely amused as he roughly pats her shoulder and stands up. “You should finish that. Take some time to relax. Breathe. I think Pentaghast was looking for you to complain about Varric.”

-

“So there’s a elf underneath all that wolf after all,” The Iron Bull muses, standing over Ellana and Dalish as they hurriedly rip apart fabric and start arranging things to be re-sewn together. Ellana ignores him as he sits down next to her, watching her work.

It’s summer and Ellana has just gotten back from visiting her clan. Ellana’s normally kept herself to the North during the summer - Orlesian summers are wretched and wet and muggy and the heat is a tangible weight on her chest that makes her feel sluggish and tired.

She’s shed her furs and thrown them into the back of one of the caravans along with the rest of her belongings. She’s also changed out of her normal traveling attire and into a light cotton dress that her cousin had given her when she was up with them. Dalish is wearing one similar and the two of them are working on sewing together pants and tunics with light padding to fight in.

Ellana is not going to be wasting mana on constant cooling and temperature regulating spells in the middle of a fight. That’s ridiculous.

“You seriously do this every year?” Ellana says to Dalish as the woman arranges panels of leather that she had Ellana bring back. No one tans leather like the Dalish masters do.

“I’m not carrying summer gear around all year when we spend most of our time in the mountains or Ferelden,” Dalish replies, “Besides, by the end of the summer this will all be worn down anyway. Watch, you’ll be having to patch something after the next fight and it’ll only go downhill from there.”

“You wanna make me some?” Krem asks.

Ellana and Dalish cast annoyed looks at him.

“You’re the actual professional tailor,” Dalish says, waspish as she turns back to the work in front of her, “You could help us.”

“Nah,” Even Krem’s switched to a short-sleeved shirt and light trousers.

Ellana shoves her hair out of her face and there’s a light tap on her shoulder. Ellana turns her head to see Skinner handing her a leather thong to tie her hair as the other woman presents Dalish with the measurements from the others.

“Not much change since last summer,” Skinner says, “Thank June. A few of our other Dalish members also got materials back from their clan. I think we’ll be able to make it with what we have. We just can’t make mistakes. I’ll start cutting. I’ve got some of the others ready to go.”

“You actually sew a summer set for every single person?” Ellana asks, baffled. “Ridiculous. What happens after summer?”

“After summer we scrap it to pad our winter gear. You know we need it. Besides, we wear them into the ground, summer is a big season for us. No bad weather so everyone wants to go to war and shit or adventuring or doing dumb stunts in stupid dangerous places,” Krem says, “I’ll consider helping if you make the Chief’s out of plaid weave.”

“We don’t have plaid weave,” Ellana says.

“Thank fuck,” the Iron Bull says under his breath. The Iron Bull is the only one among them who doesn’t seem to suffer from the oppressive heat. Ellana’s envious.

She tugs at the collar of her dress, trying to get some air as she scans the measurements with Dalish. This would be the perfect time for the Wolf to show up and drag her on some sort of quest to inspect a rock or dig up some ancient scrap. Which of course means he won’t show up. Though she feels that she’s due for a visit soon, she hasn’t seen the Wolf since before she left the Chargers to visit her clan.

“Here,” the Iron Bull touches her arm with something and Ellana turns, accepting the water skin gratefully. “Can’t have you passing out before the actual work starts.”

“I regret ever letting anyone see me mending my leggings,” Ellana says.

“You’re Dalish, you’d be dead if you can’t sew,” Skinner replies, “It’s part of the package. Sewing, hunting, trapping, dancing, doing stupid stunts with animals.”

“I feel like I ought to be offended but it’s all very true.”