#and also i knew the pay was bad
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A lot of people's passions tend to be some kind of creative work which, at present reality, is often shit at pay and realistic hours. You burn out, you're not afforded time to recharge, you don't make enough to be stable.
The dream is still to get paid for what you love, but it's a dream for a reason.
Thankfully, as people we all have a variety of interests, and it's still realistic to find a job you don't mind that you're good at, even if it's not your passion. You don't HAVE to be passionate about work. Even when I LOVE what I'm doing and who I'm doing it with, the thing I look forward to the most is getting home and doing things I don't HAVE to do, for ME.
At the end of the day, you have to be able to do a job that pays the bills. It doesn't have to be a passionate choice, just a practical one. If it gets you good pay, a comfortable living situation, and decent people to work with, the job is done. And you still get to enjoy your passions on your own terms.
When you're a kid/teenager everyone expects you to base your career around your passions and interests and that works for a lot of people but it's not the full story. I wish they would also teach students to consider the lifestyle that career would require.
Like... if I had to choose a passion and work a career around it, I would probably work at a zoo or aquarium. But those jobs require a lot of schooling with STEM classes (which I hate) and a lot of early mornings (which make me feel ill) and an obligation to work in person with no flexibility to move (which makes me depressed). So even if I'd enjoy caring for animals all day, it's not a good career path for me.
My current job is travel writing, which is not my passion. I like it, but it's not my passion. But I work a flexible schedule, I can live anywhere, I get a travel stipend, and my team is really chill. So it works for me.
Rather than solely focusing on "What topics do you like?" I think we should ask students "Of the careers that suit your preferred lifestyle, which are the most interesting?"
#i was an 'artist' when i was a kid#but early on i knew i didn't like making what other people told me#and also i knew the pay was bad#so i picked something for the money and opportunities#with a degree that was interesting in something i was good at#i never pursued art beyond high school#does that sound sad?#well i discovered other art forms#i got good in my new art forms and I'm still learning new things#my job has enabled me to pursure some very cool things in my personal life#that i don't think I'd have achieved if i went with art#the cool thing about creative hobbies is you don't really need schooling or a career around them to do them
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wonderful
#there is a ranboo that goes withthis but i didn't like how he was looking imma restart from scratch tmrw😭😭#ctubbo#michael beloved#ctubbo fanart#Guys you have no idea what i went through today like it wa fucking crazy i need to share this#so i went to the mall after school right and im going home at like 8 on the train with my friend bc i was supposed to be picked up ay her#stop right but then im told to just go to my stop and take the bus and im like ok sure but the problem is my phone is on SEVEN PERCENT and w#hen i get to the stop my moms like u have money for the bus right and im like ueah and i check and i have NO MONEY#BUT I DIDNT TELL HER ANUTHING BC I DIDNT WANT HER TI GET MAD BC I KNEW SHE WOUDKNT WANT ME TO WALK ALL THE WAY HOME AT NIGHT (FOURTY BLOCKS#So im like ok im getting on the bus now my phone is on four percent i have to WALK HOME allll that way and there's this crazy ass upward hi#ll that's like ten blocks long ITS NOT EVEN THAT BAD but like my mom thinks im on the bus so im trying to speed walk as fast as i can and i#RAWDOGGED it too because MU PHONE WAS GOING TO IDE!!!!#I made it home at two percent U guys i was so proud of myself thank u for listening#IM SO MAD IT WOUKDVE BEEN OKAY IF I WASNT IN A RUSH And also if i had music uggghhh Whatever#I bought this really cute skirt at garage hold on let me find it#lexi pleated skort color Navy blue ITS SOOOO CUTE got some new leg warmers too yesss....#I NEED TO DOWNLOAD THE TRANSIT APP i woukdve been able to attach my apple pay and buy the stupid ticket if my phonewasnnt#too dead to do al that...#Guys always make sure u carry cash with yiu goodbye
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sideyshowy bobby
#sideshow bob#robert terwilliger#simpsons fanart#my art#self insert#me#self insert shipping#thedorfmirrin#s/i and fandom blogs may interact lols#i knew he existed as a kid but its one of those situations where i instantly fall for a character many years later-#the moment i look at them again#like with maleficent and ursula :33#so exactly 1 week ago#i met sideshow bob#how do i even begin?? i cant remember how it even happened- i was looking at someone's tumblr notes bc i like to look at comments sometimes#then i saw someone's username which i liked the ring of#then i saw more images of this guy#and now u know the rest#why is he so cute and funny#the dichotomy of a snooty thespian who loves to play up his villainy (because he cant do ANYTHING without going above and beyond to get the#attention of the whole world#while also having goofy clown tendencies#im head over heels for him#so is my partner mirrin (thanks to meeeee >x3 )#and hes a simpsons character. not at all in a bad way bc i do not ever judge anyone's f/o crushes-#it was just. SOOO unexpected for me bc i tend to not pay attention to that show for personal reasons#just goes to show that theres a character to love for everyone in every piece of media#also this guy made me appreciate the show and its art direction a lil more than before despite my harbored feelings#and some of its silliness like genuinely it can be so funny (when there isnt a fat joke thrown in every 5 seconds anyway..#so everyone winz
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every day im reminded that though my parents may have wanted a dog they clearly did not want to take care of a dog
#and i KNEW this which was why i insisted on not getting dogs though they keep trying to gaslight me#into thinking that i agreed on the dogs. i didnt and i wish id railed against it harder#because ill be honest i knew i didnt want to take care of a dog i wasnt in the headspace#but i also knew that if they got the dog that the actual caring duties would be foisted off to me#and the things that They would have to do ie go to the vet nd pay the bills etc theyd complain about and avoid#and thats one thjng. but oh my fucking god. my dad specifically#its like hes trying to get these dogs to die. we have several plants in the backyard#bad for dogs. i point them out. i have pointed them out Several times.#theyre his plants the gardens his thats none of my things. he just goes oh they wont get into them#THEYRE DOGS. but he doesnt want to move his fucking plants#one of the dogs is on medicine but has a habit of not eating his food in the morning#which means if u leave his medicine in hjs bowl the other dog might eat it#one solution is to give him the tablet straight. because hes good about eating it#he doesnt want to because 'thats gross'. Are you five fucking years old#the dog doesnt like the texture of dry food so another solution is to wet it#dad wont do that either because 'hes too spoiled' and 'it takes time' ONE MINUTE?????????#like i have to assume this is some kind of ploy to make me do it instead when i dont wake up that early#because if its not then hes truly just incompetent or doesnt care about the dogs#which brings me back to WHY DID YOU GET THEM IN THE FIRST PLACE.#im sick of having to worry about them when he just does shit like this its wasting my time and its wasting money#but ohhhh we dont want to give the dogs away theyre part of the family 🥺#CLEARLY. because apparently u wanted kids but didnt want to take care of them either!!#im pissed off!!! im tired!!!!!!!!#i need to know im not going batshit here for being pissed off!!!!!#the dogs are getting back to back problems and at least some of it would have been mitigated by oh.#i dont know. the bare minimum?????#at least if the plants had been taken care of i wouldnt have to wonder if theyd just gotten into them#or if its an actual problem like a mass or bite. but no now i dont know#and at this rate were going to waste money going to the vet every fucking week
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thinkign about how alone and unloved morty was for all his life and rick was the first time anyobdy ever put such an amount of intense attention and dependency onto him . and rick had a whole new family and losing them made him stop seeing the value in other people as a whole and morty was the one and first thing that woke him up
#really long Tag rant down there#one of the most Things Ever about them to me is how morty barely even understands just how much rick loves him. more than anything#and its something ricks done on purpose hes made sure of it#because hes so weak he cant handle it#them being together is agony in avsolutely every way and sense but also theyre the best part of eachothers lives#morty because nobodys payed attention to him quite like rick has and all the exciting space adventures and rick just cause. he literally#just likes him thats it. and he never knew it#also i was thinking of this earlier. one of the reasons season 1 is soooo good to me is cuz you get to see morty grow on rick in real time#stuff like that moment where morty walks through the door and rick is instantly at the sight of him SUPER excited and he goes hey!!! but#then he clears his throat and goes Hey trying to pretend like this dumb scaredy kid isnt becoming his favourite thing hes ever known day af#er day#and goddamn night shaym aliens. in that moment where he realised morty had been fake the whole time i rlly wonder what he was thinking and#how he felt. like. oh man this is messing with me way too much this is Bad#and then he got drunk over it and yknow. that . is it post credits. i think. that scene#n literally At the Very beginning he was tired n drunk n stupid thinking like man fuck this im gonna blow this place up and do what prime#did to me. But he brought morty with him Even just at that point it flashed in his mind and he absolutely could not bear to let morty die#Breathes in#im rewatching in October bc anniversary month. i literally can’t wait im so actually impatient i considered just doing it today So hard#odiespeak
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Ride 749: The last Straight Road*
(NdT.: same pun Kinaka always makes with his name and the word for straight road)
Pag 1
1: I....
3: Imaizumi-san!!
4: Go- good work!!
Good work!!
You were taking a long time for this lap
Pag 2
1: Yes, teh, I got a fl-fl-flat- my bike!!
Yessir!!
2: It's the tire!!
4: Only tires can get a flat
Ah- damn, yes, that's right
Right!!
6: I thought something like this might have happened, so I brought these
Replacement tubes, tire levers, and a pump. Use them
Pag 3
2: This is unusual!! I never thought Imaizumi-san was the attentive type – is it just for us!?
Yeah!! I thought first and second years were just not important to him....
3: You don't want to use the,?
We'll use them, thank you so much!!
4: You saved us, teh....!!
That's true
6: Ah, uhm... but..... Imaizumi-san
Earlier you said that
7: Sugimoto-san won't come”, what did you mean?
Pag 4
1: He retired
Pag 5
1: He's still displayed on the board, but
3: There's still time until midnight
If Sugimoto-kun....
4: Please leave the possibility open in case Sugimoto-kun wants to come back!!
5: Onoda insisted
6: Re... tired.....
Sugi..... moto-san....
Pag 6
1: He used up all his stamina and mental strength in his fight against Danchiku, and he was defeated
2: You didn't notice because you've been on the course the whole time
4: Ah... actually, when it got dark, Sugimoto-san and Danchiku-san passed us various times... teh
Huh!? That? So at that time-!?
5: You have no time to talk about unimportant things
As soon as you're done with the repairs, run, first years
6: Soon
Pag 7
1: Waa, ye-yes, teh, thank you for the tools
Yeah, there's still 40km
2: If we join our strengths....
Don't cooperate
5: Teh!?
7: From now on, you can't allow yourselves to run like friends
8: Huh....
Our “buddies” stickers.....!?
You have to fight
Pag 8
1: And win the last spot to be an Inter High member!!
Pag 9
1: Fa.... ight....
2: Against.... Kinaka-kun
3: Against.... Rokudai
4: 35km left!!
Gooo!! Kinakaa, Rokudaii!!
Do your best...!!
5: I feel like they'll be able to run the 1000km!!
Amazing!
Ah, but there was no distance between them just now?
Pag 10
1: Fight....
2: The spot as a regular in the two-times national champion, Sohoku....
3: I can't take it by just being friendly....!!
4: And also
5: There's Sugimoto-san's wish!!
Pag 11
1: Wa- wait, please, Imaizumi-san
But.... if in this training camp the condition to become the sixth regular was to finish the 1000km first....
2: Then why did Sugimoto-san and Danchiku-san race!?
4: I came here to give you a message from Sugimoto
5: I think, I think it's necessary, you know
Sohoku is a team that connect and support each other
6: Just like during our first year, you, Naruko, and Onoda, connected your wishes and aimed for the goal
7: And last year Kaburagi ran with Aoyagi-san and carried the team until the mountains on the third day
8: So I think we need it
9: Our third year Inter High members
Pag 12
1: Definitely need a “first year”!!
3: Even if he knew he was making his own situation worse, he thought about the best shape for the team would be
4: He accepted it, and fought
Pag 13
1: For the fifth place
3: Among the first years, those two are left, I look forward to see what they do!!
That's too much food
4: Danchiku probably understood it, too
That's why he fought with all his strength
6: Now you two have to run with the weight of those expectations on your back!!
7: Fight, against your opponent and against yourself!! Use all your strength
Pag 14
1: And pull to yourself that last jersey!!
2: Straaa-
Pag 15
1: Straight roaaad!!
2: - traight!!
3: …. ngh
Ugh.....
4: Kinaka-kun.....
5: Don't cry, Rokudai!!
Pag 16
1: What are you doing, oi!! I'll leave you behind like this!! I'll tear you off!!
If you give up, then it's lucky for me!!
2: My goal has always been the Inter High jersey!!
To get back at those senpai who made fun of me!!
3: To show it to the Onii-san who taught me how to ride bikes!!
So, for that....
6: So I'm telling you not to cry!!
Pag 17
1: But, Kinaka-kun....
It's that your “Straitgh road”, wasn't fast at all....!!
4: You knee? It's your knee, right?
Since when? Since a while ago?
5: Since when we were at about 800km
Pag 18
1: It's a race, Rokudai
2: You should have told me, teh
I didn't notice, teh!!
3: I'm such an incapable former manager, teh....
4: Since when I lost to you in the first years' race
6: I've been thinking that I would definitely not lose the next time we race
7: Even though the truth is that I don't really care about that anymore
So, once again...
Pag 19
1: It's a race, Rokudai!!
3: Let's do it, Rokudai!!
I can't, teh
4: Race me, pedal!!
I don't want to, teh....
5: Fight me!!
I won't pedal, teh
Pag 20
1: Because, if I fight you now, Kinaka-kun, I'll end up winning, teh
Pag 22
1: With that kindness of yours, support our senpai during the Inter High
#yowamushi pedal#yowamushi pedal translations#yowapeda#yowapeda manga#yowamushi pedal manga#yowamushi pedal spoilers#ride 749#the tags arent enough for the essay i want and need to write about this chapter#most painful chapter but also one of the best chapter of the whole manga imho#IVE BEEN CRYING SINCE YESTRDAY WTF WATANABE HOW COULD YOU DO THIS TO MY BABIES#YOU NEED TO PAY FOR MY THERAPY NOW#kinaka and roku's relationship is probably the most wholesome in the whole manga i love them so much#and this chap HURT SO BAD OH MY GOD#kinakaaaaa you're so strong for this ;A; the way he didnt want to tell roku about his knee bc he knew that roku would break#the way he even tried to provoke him to push him to race!! and he says he didnt want to lose against him again! but!!#He actually doesnt care about that anymore!!! hes just doing this for rokudai!!!#And rokuuuu!!! baby boy ;A; hes the purest boy ever!!! He didnt want to win like this against kinaka he didnt want to leave him behind ;A;#leave me alone im gonna cry forever ;A; (no actually dont leave me alone keep me company in my suffering plz)#page 21 is forever ingraved in my soul#even tho imaizumi told them not to cooperate in the end they did support each other until the last moment ;A;#(on a lighter not im happy that we finally have a reason for the race btwn sugimoto and danchiku - they both knew the team needed a first#year* so only one of them could be on the team)
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reminder that it is quite possible the Titan’s first impression of Luz is her introducing herself as a crab maiden and later getting her aunt to punch Philip in the nose
#depends on if papa titan was paying attention at that point- i would think yes though#since that escapade was specifically about trying to reach and free the collector which papa titan tapped so long ago#as well as generally being a sucky guy who’s already been using glyphs for bad and has been kept from the light glyph#so yeah :3 good first impression! then luz also appears a good 400 years from then. you think the titan knew it was her or thought it was-#-some other identical human#toh#the owl house#toh spoilers#the owl house spoilers#watching and dreaming#leori words
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if my parents keep talking to me im going to (remembers that suicide jokes are bad for mental health) go outside and dig a hole to narnia
#borbtalks#'borb u got a letter from vsp. why are you paying for vsp. i dont think u need it bc of xyz. oh you're getting mail from y insurance?#they're a good company. im also covered under them. are they cheaper than ur previous one? they must be. did u know medicare has a page#online where u can compare all the plans? well did you? ik you've been on medicare longer than me but idk if you knew :/#sooo do u have a valid drivers license? oh when did u get it renewed? when does it expire? we were looking at car insurance earlier...#oh btw when are they gonna reevaluate u for disability? do u know? when did they last reevaluate u? when do they reevaluate others?#ANYWAY. what if i brought over x's dog. the dog that stresses ur cats out so much that they puke everywhere and spend all day hiding :)#wdym it'll stress [cat] out. what if he. didn't get stressed? :)'#like SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP#cant even walk into the bathroom without her trying to talk to me. can't make dinner w/o her trying to talk to me#and of course im the bad guy in telling her not to stress the cat out#just by saying 'vet says he's not supposed to get stressed out. he's at a higher risk for blockage if he does#which will KILL him.'#same woman who sat next to me while i was the phone w/ the phone company. petting the cat and whispering 'oh borb abuses u doesn't he?#maybe ill just steal you away one day. keep u away from borb. oh yes borb treats u oh so horribly.'#and my dad. sitting on the other side of me. said absolutely nothing.#i get it. im the family's designated fuck up!! the designated brat !!!! and no one gives a shit if my feelings get hurt !!!!!!!#i swear. my mother could smack me and everyone would rush to her side and comfort her stinging hand
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i never realised how poor i was until i got a job lol
#i *knew* we werent rich but now????#i can just??? buy stuff??? for myself???#i have brought this up so many times in therapy. like. i dont have to worry about food going bad???#or like. not in a 'if this goes bad i wont have stuff to eat' way#and i can just try food that im not sure ill like???#LIKE. i just bought some dungarees on a whim!!!!!#i have always had so few clothes holy shit and im only realising that now#and like. looking back thats obviously why i never went to any concerts or anything#also. thats why i stopped eating meat for a few years lol i couldnt afford it#i literally ate rice and broccoli for my first year of uni#ANYWAYS UM. yeah its sooooooo weird that i have money now?????#i started buying video games for my brother!!!!!!!#i can offer to pay the shipping fees for my brothers boardgames!!!!!#its just. looking back i WISH i could hug little me she was going through it and didnt even notice!!!!!#nett rambles#yes i was crying by the time i finished lol can u tell
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circe letting the crew go with the hopes of passing the goodness along and then we get to different beast and thunder bringer... she'd be so sad
#i know very little about this musical okay but i just caught that after paying attention to the lyrics of there are other ways#epic the musical#and i feel so bad for her#also i was wondering if shed be this lenient if she knew why poseidon was chasing them
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I always wondered how James Somerton could crank out such many well written video essays in such a short amount of time…
Because he’s stealing the words of literally dozens of writers who are better than him. 😀
#˚ʚ meda rants ɞ˚#can you all tell i just watched the new hbomberguy video…#i haven’t watched a james somerton video essay in a while#because his sexism towards queer women really started to leave a bad taste in my mouth#but there was a period in time about a year ago where i was recommending his content to almost every queer person i knew#and tbh i am so heartbroken#like the level of plagiarism this man has committed against his own community…#like straight up reciting wikipedia pages to a paying audience is scummy#but stealing the words and opinions and hard work of small queer writers??#and pretending it’s your own work??#it all just makes me so sad#like it’s so unserious#but also it’s not??#so many people had their work straight up stolen and aren’t seeing a cent from it#all so this soulless man can butcher it and sell it to unknowing queer people#it’s such a disservice to queer people in general and i’m sad i ever encouraged other people to watch his shit in the first place
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Yoooo Happy Birthday to Kingdom Hearts and to the sweetest silliest goodest boy 🥺💖
Still a WIP but I really wanted to get something out for him! He deserves the world!!!
I only recently began playing KH. It was always on the list of “Things I Know I’ll LOVE to Bits Because It’s Got Everything I Love But I Am Putting Off Until I’m Ready To Commit™️” but thanks to needing to clean my room and some certain YouTube videos a couple weeks ago I finally started playing and I have noooooot stoped thinking about it!
#kingdom hearts#kh sora#sora#I’m still on kh1 right at the last save point bc I want to beat the scary ghost and I’ve titan but I am#Bad at Video Games so it’s taking a bit!#also work!! is keeping me from the fun things in life#I put on that 3hr long recap video of all the games while cleaning my room and I was only half paying attention#but right after it was the 6hr Riku is Gay and idc about spoiler tbh and I know it was a pretty fruity franchise like I had hs friends into#it back in the day so ya know#but HOO boy let me tell you it really was the final nail on the coffin for me and I finally but the bullet and bought it#I knew I’d love the damn Mickey Mouse ff game bc it always seemed so silly but so EARNEST and heartfelt which is my absolute SHIT#the lil “my friends r my power shit?#my absolute favorite trope ohh I knew the moment I saw the scene in hs but no means to play etc so#ANYWAYS!#I will eventually finish this but coloring hard 😣#grim art
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i complain a lot about sonic resellers but monster high resellers are just as bad . probably a lot worse actually
#trying to re buy some of the accessories one of my dolls is missing .....#im not paying 30 dollars for a tiny doll jacket. what is your problem#does anyone have a spare toralei jacket. that they can send me. for free (joking)#also the amount of people im seeing straight up lying about the dolls they have being from 2008 or something#the first monster high dolls came out in 2010. idiot. and the ones youre selling arent even THAT old#also the amount of people who are buying very recently released dolls just to resell them for double or triple the original price.#i already knew about how bad it was im just thinking about it because im actually digging through it all rn.
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apparently one of my cousins was just accepted into a master's writing program at an Ivy League school
and that's why I almost never go on Facebook 🙃
#look. do I even think I could handle a master's in writing at an Ivy League?#.....I mean. I think so. I managed a master's in geoscience at one of the top geology schools in the nation.#(....''managed'' is doing some VERY heavy lifting there lnjasdknf)#but do I want to do that? no.#do I still feel weird and like I'm wasting my life and everyone else is more accomplished than me? yes.#it does help a bit that the cousin in question has outright told me her success is in large part from her father pushing her v hard#(he did the same thing to her siblings)#and that she kinda fucking hates how she was pushed to succeed so much#like I don't wish that on anyone but it does help me to put into context her success. it comes at a cost. like everything else.#and to be frank it's not a cost I'm willing to pay at this point in my life.#I still feel weird and uhhhhh incompetent I guess would be the best word tho#also like I'm wondering why she's going to an Ivy League when she's already at one of the top writing schools#maybe distance from her family....in which case. godspeed cuz.#ANYWAYS I have a v accomplished family that I at times feel inferior to despite my own accomplishments#and no that has no influence on my OC Angie's own similar feelings why would you think that#(my family would be upset if they knew I felt inferior btw no one makes me feel bad other than my own brain)#(I have a v loving and supportive family and am v blessed to have them~)#whine whine whine
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had to leave work early bc of severe cystitis pain >:(
#this is my first time having one and i never knew that it hurts soooo bad 😭#i'm glad i got to leave work early bc i hate working saturdays in general but i also feel guilty bc someone else had to come in & finish..#.. my shift until 8 pm 🙃#i really thought i could pull through but after 5 hours i just couldn't take the pain anymore even with painkillers#but now i'll get work time deficit again which is such bullshit#i really want to apply for another job bc there are so many things that bother me and are just plain unfair#and the long saturdays kill me i literally have no free time i'm always exhausted#but if i leave before my contract ends i'll have to pay back the scholarship i received..#a few days ago a colleague that worked there for almost 14 years also quit bc she couldn't take it anymore#she did so much and to now have her leave.. it's just getting worse and worse#☁️
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#my mom hasnt decided about driving to Toronto#i told her i need an answer#ideally now. but i feel bad bugging her#she thinks i should wait and see if prices go down#and she thinks i shouldn't spend so much money on a concert ticket#and i agree. i dont want to. i think its insane that they resell them for so much.#but its my money. and i get to decide what this concert is worth#i was telling her the prices are going up and i dont want them to turn impossible.#and she kept asking how much are they how much are they how much are they#i didn't wanna tell her bc i knew shed judge me but i did. and she did#i almost feel like she thinks she'll be doing me a favor by not helping me get there bc i wont spend the money#but she really really wouldnt be#i was hoping i could buy one for tomorrow and just go by myself and not make it her issue#but theyre more than im willing to pay for crappy seats#and she said i dont want you to go at any cost and like!!!! im not!!!!!#i hate myself for stooping low enough to accept resale prices but im not spending all of my money#and i have standards for prices for where the seats are#i made the decision to sell my vienna ticket before the shows were canceled bc i knew it was thr responsibile thing to do!!!!!#i will not drive 12 hours to toronto by myself!!!!!!#im doing it at more cost than i would like but not any cost. and id also like to not be judged for it#and also. its so important to me. and if i explain how important it is. id probably get judged for that too#idk man. she said she's gonna look some now at Toronto traveling expenses#she didn't say she would have an answer by tonight#you would think if she doesn't want me to spend a crazy amount of money she would have some urgency about answering me#ig she just doesnt wanna tell me no.#idk. idk. idk. maybe i will figure out some way to go to Toronto by myself if she says no#maybe ill buy an even more ridiculously priced ticket for tomorrow#idk. ahahhahahajahahahahah
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