#and also i drew this when i was in the middle of aurora dream but i tweaked the hair and the eye designs cause i preferred the style-

[pusangkambing]

Redraw of my very first oc ever for pretty rhythm, lol, her name is Akira. Theres not even an original drawing, she was just in my head and i would just imagine scenes in the show with her ashakjdakkhwjw

[argylemnwrites]

Settled

Pairing: Bryce Lahela x MC (Cassie Vanderfield); Roomies (+ Bryce and Rafael) friendship also featured

Book: Open Heart (~5 weeks post book 2)

Word Count: ~1400

Rating: PG-13 (rare language)

Summary: A long standing bet is about to be settled.

Author’s Note: Inspiration for this piece comes from a real experience in my undergrad dorm. It also works as a loose follow up to my pieces “Enough” and “Some Definition.” Also written for Day 28 of the @choicesfebchallenge - Closure.

Bryce felt his eyes getting heavy in spite of the early hour and the movie playing across the room. He had just come off a night float block, serving both as the senior resident overnight for the three gen surg wards and completing any ED surgical consults that came in from 5 pm to 7 am. Even though he’d only had to work 18 shifts over the past 28 days, each shift had been frantic, often with barely enough down time to inhale a sandwich. On top of that, he’d basically hadn’t gotten a chance to see the inside of the OR at all. The senior carrying the trauma pager usually got all the overnight cases, since there weren’t many non-traumas that went to the OR in the middle of the night. For the few remaining cases, unless it was a particularly complex case, the attendings usually prioritized letting the interns covering the wards overnight gain some experience. As an intern, Bryce had loved that culture in Edenbrook, but now that he was on the other side, he felt a bit jealous, even if he knew it wasn’t fair.

He was just kind of burnt out, if he had to put a label on things. He’d felt more like an internal med resident for most of the block, something Cassie had teased him about endlessly. But he just didn’t find the work as rewarding as actually operating, the shifts were exhausting, and now, almost a full week off of that block, he was still working to adjust his sleep schedule back to days. Hence him falling asleep in the middle of an action movie at Cassie’s with her roommates and Raf at 6 pm.

“Is he out?” he heard Sienna hiss out, obviously whispering in case he was asleep, forgetting that fact that her voice was far quieter than the explosions currently happening on screen.

“No, he’s not,” Bryce whispered back, drawing a chuckle and a little elbow nudge from Cassie. He dragged his eyes back open to find her turned to face him on the sectional, so he gave her a little grin before he dropped his head to her shoulder and closed his eyes again. “But he might be soon.”

“Seriously?” asked Raf, his voice drifting up from the floor where he and Aurora were lounging in front of the coffee table. “I didn’t think you’d be one to sleep through the latest Tommy Phelps blockbuster.”

“Lahela is a little baby who is still whining about the fact that he was on nights a week ago.” Jackie’s voice was the next one to fill the room. “Or maybe he has the right idea and is done with this dumb garbage. Why did I get up early for this again?”

“Because we only have one year left where we are all going to be in Boston for sure, and times where we are all off for a movie are rare!” Sienna cried out. Bryce felt Cassie shift slightly, presumably reaching over to hold Sienna’s hand or rub her back, but she didn’t move so much that his head was more than slightly jostled on her shoulder.

“Yeah, but that doesn’t mean we had to watch this. Elijah, you don’t get to pick for movie night ever again.” Jackie added.

“Hey, I know my selections aren’t always the most popular, but this wasn’t me!”

“Alright, then who is responsi-”

“It was my pick,” said Aurora. Bryce squinted an eye open at that, glancing down to Aurora, who had twisted around to face Jackie. “What can I say? Sometimes I just need to turn my brain off and watch some shlock.”

“It’s better with a beer,” Raf said with a shrug, before lifting his bottle to his lips and taking a drink. 

“Well, I have to head in for a shift in a couple of hours, so that’s not an option for me,” Jackie said, “so I might have to take a page out of Bryce’s book and just nap.”

Bryce swung his foot towards her as he let his eyes close again, nudging her shin. “Shut up, Varma.”

“What? I’m not mocking you.”

“Sure.”

“I mean, there is plenty for me to mock you for always, but right now I’m not. Avoiding this movie and using Cassie as a pillow is one of your smarter choices.”

“I’m not using her as a human pillow. This is just part of boyfriend privileges, right Cass?”

“Absolutely,” Cassie said, but the room got suddenly very quiet as the explosions and gunfire came to an abrupt halt.

“Why’d you pause the movie?” asked Cassie, but no one answered her. Instead, Aurora asked a different question.

“Elijah, you still got the calendar?”

“Yup, lemme pull it up. I’m pretty sure everyone’s date has already passed, though.”

“What are you guys talking about?”

The room was silent for a few moments, so Bryce opened his eyes and dragged his head off of Cassie’s shoulder, glancing around the room and taking in everyone aggressively avoiding eye contact with him and Cassie. “Seriously, what’s going on?” 

“Oh, for fuck’s sake, it’s not that bid a deal,” Jackie said with an eye roll. “We had a bet on when you guys would officially be together.”

It took Bryce a couple of seconds to process what she’d said. “Wait, seriously?” he asked with a chuckle.

“It was Elijah’s who organized it,” said Raf, earning him a pillow in the face from Elijah.

“Hey, man!”

“What, it’s the truth?”

“When did you guys start this?” Cassie asked. She was twisting her fingers over each other in her lap, so Bryce slid his right hand in between hers, tugging her left hand over into his lap.

“Elijah took my bet the day after the Hopeful Hearts Gala,” said Aurora, “and I think I was the first one to pick a date. After Elijah, obviously.”

“Wait, this has been going on for months?” Bryce asked.

“Well, you two have been all over each other for years,” said Jackie.

“And you were all in on this? Even you, Sienna?” asked Cassie as she glanced around the room from person to person.

Bryce leaned forward to peer around Cassie. Sienna cheeks were flushed, but she didn’t shy away from looking at the two of them.

“I mean, I was rooting for you two! Plus, Elijah had a PowerPoint which made it all feel so official! And, I don’t know, we’ve all been waiting for you guys to-”

“What she means is we’ve all had to put up with your obnoxious flirting for far too long to not have a bit of fun,” Jackie said, cutting off Sienna’s ramble. However, one thing Sienna said stuck out to him, and apparently to Cassie.

“Elijah, you made a PowerPoint?” she asked, her free hand coming up to her cheek.

It was Elijah’s turn to have his cheeks darken, but he just gave a little shrug. “Like Jackie said, this has been a long time coming. And I was bored in allergy clinic.”

“It was quite the presentation,” said Raf.

“Yeah, we’re gonna need to see that,” added Bryce, shooting Cassie a wink as she shook her head lightly.

“I don’t know if I still have it.” Elijah answered just a little too quickly, making Bryce think he very much did still have it and had no intention of showing it to them. But before he could push him on that, Jackie asked Elijah another question.

“So, quit stalling. Who’s the winner?”

Elijah just shook his head. “Like I said, we all lost. Brittany was the last date, and even hers passed last month.”

“Wait, you got the gen surg residents involved in this as well?” Bryce asked.

“We’ve all been subjected to your prolonged and public teasing,” said Jackie, raising an eyebrow as if daring him to fight her on that statement.

“I mean, I know we’re a good looking couple, but this level of fascination is beyond what even I could have expected.” Bryce’s statement drew groans from almost everyone in the room and pillows chucked at him by Raf, Aurora, and Jackie, but all he could do was squeeze Cassie’s hand before snuggling up against her again, settling in for the end of the movie… and likely a little nap. Their friends could tease them all they wanted. They were happy, and that was all that really mattered.

Permatag: @choicesficwriterscreations @walkerswhiskeygirl  @octobereighth  @kimmiedoo5  @mom2000aggie

Open Heart: @mskaneko @omgjasminesimone @debramcg1106

Bryce x MC: @lahellacute @weaving-in-words  @anotherbeingsworld  @chaotichuman0090 @fortunatelywaywardsandwich   @dreaming-of-movies  @choicesarehard  @srta-give-me-my-jax-rl  @sunnyxdazed​

[elejahfanfic]

Fanfiction

And so it is Christmas

Part 5

Elijah Mikaelson x reader

ft. Klaroline, Kennett

AU story_human_no vampires

a/n:There  will be great mad Mikaelson chaos and lots of love… i.e. Elijah falling for Y/N…cookie baking, etc.

well, actually_absolute christmas fluff… ho-ho-ho

_also this just blew into such a long ch again_ thanks for reading. xoxo

🎅

In the Mikaelson Mansion

Esther looked at the happy bunch mucking around in the kitchen. She loved the holiday season. It always brought a strange kind of warmth to the house.

"Everyone is very high spirited" the butler said,"this idea to have them participate in making the buiscuits was marvellous"

"Wasn't it just" Esther said, now looking at Klaus and Caroline cutely talking to one another, him complimenting the blonde on her artistic streak.

"I find it quite unusual that Elijah left Caroline behind and went out with Kol"  Esther remarked.

"There have been developments" the butler said.

"What do you mean?"  Esther now looked at the man with puzzled eyes.

"Master Elijah and Ms Forbes are no longer together. Prior to Miss Rebekah's trip to New York, they put an end to their relationship. Not that it was any serious relationship as such."

Esther raised an inquisitive eye-brow at the butler, and told him to follow her to the drawing room to speak more privately.

The butler has always been the source of gossip and knew all that was going on, as Rebekah could not keep anything to herself. He now told the Mistress of the house all about Elijah falling for Dr Y/L/N/

Now, Esther, having found out the latest going ons said, "Well, that explains Elijah's great interest in the Fundraiser. But isn't Dr Y/L/N seeing Klaus?"

"No. I found out from Master Kol that Dr Y/L/N and Master Klaus - just hooked up once- these are his exact words."

"I understood that there was more. He frequently is seen going to the Y/L/N Lake house." Esther said.

"Ahm, I have that information, too."  the butler said.

"We have to find out what exactly is going on. I do not wish any of my sons to get hurt. It is not the first time they get entagled with a woman. Remember how things went with Rayna Cruz."

"Yes, I do."  Jefferson recalled the stress that went off the brother's back in New Orleans, when they both had a crash on the beautiful blonde.

"She left them both heartbroken,"  Esther said, "and that fight - over her. I didn't want this to happen again."

"It will not. They are way more mature now, and Master Klaus is now much calmer."

"Yes. But still - a woman can stir up things- no matter what age a man is"

"Dr Y/L/N doesn't appear to be a woman that would string two men along."  the butler said.

"No. I think I will still have a word with her."

"Is this wise, Ma'am?"

Esther sighed. "Not really, but I cannot have a repetition of what we had years ago. And it being the reason Elijah moved to New York. It broke my heart having him so far away."

"But they have made up and they have been so very supportive of each other. Master Klaus met Aurora and - all was forgotten."

"Yes,"  Esther said and now took a deep breath looking at the faithful butler, "I have heard that Rayna had a child."

Jefferson looked at the woman a tad bit stunned. It seemed he didn't know all.

"What are you suggesting, Ma'am?

"That maybe - there somewhere Elijah might have a son."  Esther now said.

"Oh! Are you sure?"

"No. By the time I got this probable news - Rayna left New Orleans to - god knows where"

"But - if the child was Master Elijah's, I am sure she would come to you and said something. Ask for money. She was daring enough"

“True.” Esther said. “I wish he finds someone he can start a family with and be happy.”

“Maybe Christmas will work its magic this year.” Jefferson said.

“Well, let’s hope so.” Esther curled up a little smile.

🎅🎄

Elsewhere- the Y/L/N House

"Because of you"  Elijah said looking at Y/N in a very sincere manner.

"Me?" Y/N looked back at the man wide-eyed.

She was not expecting this answer. Or maybe she did.

"Yes. And I know that we hardly know each other- and I - this is now going to come out wrong - but ever since that evening volunteering in the shelter - I can't stop thinking about you"  Elijah said, twisting the truth a bit, as in fact, he could not stop thinking about her since he saw her at the boutique.

"Oh" Y/N let out followed by a gulp. For some strange reasin she froze, though she wanted to say that she also had him on her mind eversince she saw him at the boutique.

As there was no other response coming from Y/N, Elijah, slipping ‘Right’ and got up, "Ahm- I better go"

Y/N now got up as well, and for an unexplained reason said, "Ok"

Like a lost soul, Elijah looked for his coat jacket. Having found it in the living room, he took it and  put it on, thanking Y/N in the process for the pie.

Y/N nodded a little saying, "You're welcome"

Elijah nodded back, everything inside of him very jumbled up he turned and walked to the door.

"Wait" Y/N suddenly said.

🎅

Meanwhile, at the Mystic Falls Ice Rink

"Hey"  Klaus greeted Kol, who had just arrived at the Ice rink with Bonnie, "Elijah is not answering his phone."

"He is still busy making pies" Kol replied, "where are the others?"

"Bex and Stefan have this dinner thing with his uncle, and Hope went with Caroline to get some ice-skates cuz she doesn't have any - here" Klaus explained now looking at Bonnie, "isn't it time you introduced your girfriend"

"Yeah" Kol said somewhat confused, "this my other older brother - Klaus - the nuisance"

Bonnie now extended her hand to Klaus saying,"Hello. It's weird that we never met and you are at the School board and Hope is attending my chemistry class this year."

"I meant to come to see you regarding Hope. She is telling me that you chose her for the State Chemistry Olympiad? She is Middle School- is she that good? "

"Yes. She is very talented. Quite an over-achiever." Bonnie said.

"I don't know where she gets it from"  Kol now said with a teasing smirk.

Klaus would now hrow something clever back at his brother, but Hope and Caroline now joinrd them. More greetings and more introduction followed. Soon they all got inside the rink.

Kol showed off his ice-skating skills to Bonnie, who was pretty impressed. Bonnie was not skating since college and felt pretty rusty.

"How come you are so good at this?"  Bonnie wondered.

"Well I lived here for five years now. I also played for Mystic High Hockey team. We moved here five years ago."

"Wow." Bonnie said, "I must say I amazed."

"I also had a band." Kol said.

"What else don't I know?"  Bonnie asked.

"I was bad in chemistry." Kol said cutely.

"Ah, nevermind. I still like you." Bonnie now kissed her man.

Not far from them, Caroline skated up to Klaus, who actually just stood at rink's fence, totally lost in Caroline exhibiting her figure skating skills.

As she now came up to him, he was all stars in his eyes at her-

"Tell me why are you a lawyer?"

"Ah, because - my dad thought it would have been a more solid career"

"You are serious?"

"I was the US. Collegiate Figure skating champion."  Caroline said.

"Really?"

"Yes. But, this is where I started. This is where my mom brought me to skate when I was five years old - and"  Caroline now inhaled deeply, her eyes watering.

"Hey, what's wrong?"  Klaus now said concerned.

"Nothing. Just great memories. I didn't think I would be back here or skate here ever again."

"You lived here? When?"

"Till my mom died. And then I went to live with my dad in New York."  Caroline replied, "Thanks for - this was a great idea. And - sorry if me coming down made things awkward- now that Elijah and I - broke up."

"Our family does awkward well. So you are all right."  Klaus said.

"I don't know. Even though Elijah and I said we would be friends - I feel like I am intruding."

"I am for one am glad you are intruding - I mean- ahm- you are not intruding at all. You saved me from getting  the  whole cookie baking and  you did such great job helping Hope, and Rebekah for that matter. You should yake credit for all the baking that was done today. I can only imagine what it would be like if you didn't step in."

"I guess, your cook would have to do it all."

"Yes, and we would never stop hearing mother tell us that we could have done better."  Klaus said.

"I doubt that. She is lovely." Caroline said.

"Yes, mother is the best."

"I miss my mom so much." Caroline now said.

"I am sorry." Klaus now said with great empathy in his voice.

The song that now came on made Caroline take Klaus suddenly by the hands and said, "You are skating now"

"What? No, no, no. I am not like Kol."

"It is not that hard. I got you. You will be fine." Caroline reassured Klaus, who, strangely let himself go.

✨

At Y/L/N House

"Wait!"  Y/N said again and shot over to Elijah, and wihtout hesitation drew his lips to hers, like catching a dream that was about to disappear. She made their lips, mouth, tongue flow in the beautiful rhythm of what their heartbeats played, like tiny bells echoing like the shooting stars up in the skies. Easing out of it, heads leaning on one another now, both trying to gain some breath back, they stood silent for a moment, her thumbs lightly streaming up and down the side of the neck, while his hands got lost in the tangle of her her, dropping on her shoulders. If he spoke, he thought, this sweet enchantment would be broken. And yet, the first word shimmered out, "Y/N”

"Elijah" Y/N smiled a little, her cheeks feeling flush, "I don't know - what's happening - I mean- I know - but I never thought that - it all came out of nowhere"

"It has - and I - I just couldn't keep it to myself anymore. I tried not to feel - because I was with someone else- and you"

"Because I was with your brother" Y/N took a deep breath, "this never happened to me - I am not someone who goes from one guy to the next - let alone brothers- and has crazy drunken one night stand"

"Please - I didn't mean to upset you"

"You didn't upset me - I am - just such a hot mess - if you know what I mean"  Y/N said raising her look at him, "I also coudn't stop thinking about you"

Elijah lips curled a happy smile up now, the corner of his eyes  catching the mistletoe hanging right over them. Y/N looked up as well. They were standing right under the lush evergreen beaming down at them.

With their eyes now dropping on one another again, Elijah gently pulled her to him into a sweet, deep, long kiss.

_to be continued🎄🎅🤶

[rwbyvein]

Firen Lhain:  Chapter 604:  Four: Part III/III

Jaune at on one of the couches. RWBY sat on the other two. "I... still can't believe that worked..."

"What is this?," Yang asked, "a joke to you?"

"I've never been more serious in my life." Jaune stated. "Four amazonian Huntresses just confessed to me, and then agreed to share me!"

Ruby and Yang sat eagerly sitting forward, Weiss sat elegantly, and Blake looked like the cat that ate the canary.

"So?," Blake, "why the spankings?"

"I thought it would break the spell."

"Like magic?" Ruby asked, "Who cast magic?.."

"He doesn't mean it literally." Weiss stated.

"It's a metaphor." Blake added, "What he means is that this is all a dream."

With that Ruby pinched Yang.

"Yo?" Yang angrily asked her.

"You felt it!" Ruby stated.

"What?" Weiss asked.

"You can't feel pain in your dreams." Blake stated, "But are supposed to pinch YOURSELF!"

As she said this Yang pinched Ruby in return. "You feel that, sis?"

"It's not a dream!" Ruby shouted.

Jaune sighed into his hands.

"So?," Blake asked Jaune, "the spell didn't break; this is real?"

"Wait?," Yang asked, "he spanked us because of magic?"

"The magic of sisters!" Ruby exclaimed.

"Now that the magic is dispelled, and we are all, here." Jaune said, and stood up, "And all committed, there is one more step you girls must take."

"I kind of think we've done plenty." Yang strongly voiced.

"Perhaps we hear him out, and then admonish him?" Weiss asked.

"I guess that makes sense." Yang said, and Jaune breathed in deep.

"Alright, so, here's the thing, I was raised traditionally. I won't sleep with a woman I wouldn't marry."

"And just which one of us wouldn't you marry?" Weiss asked, "Is it Yang?"

"Hey?!" Yang replied.

Jaune once again sighed and looked them back in their eyes. "I would marry any one of you in a heartbeat."

"Then, what's the problem?" Yang asked.

"I suppose, maybe, ourselves." Weiss stated. "And perhaps the fact that we - cannot - in fact, all marry."

"We can in Menagerie." Blake stated.

"We can what?" Yang asked.

"Seriously?" Jaune asked, "I guess we're all Faunus, so they'd likely accept us."

"We could, also, engage in a committed relationship," Weiss added, "even if not approved by the Kingdoms."

"So," Yang asked, "I'd be what?"

"Concubine." Blake stated.

"She really likes that word." Nora said from the sidelines, and all eyes were on her. Nora nervously waved. "I... guess... I mmaayybbee shouldn't have said that."

"We apologize for our interuption." Ren added.

"Buuuut!" Nora shouted, "it does kind of affect us."

"I suppose..." Weiss voiced, "she does... make a valid point..."

"It is kind of our thing," Yang said, "so maybe she can keep her trap shut."

"We once again apologize." Ren stated.

"So, what?.." Ruby asked, "we can't marry, but we can kind-of marry?"

"Exactly!" Nora shouted from the sidelines.

Jaune thought for a moment, "The commitment will be good enough, I guess."

"And what, exactly, are we committing to?" Weiss asked, "For the sake of clarity."

"Love, honour, obey?" Jaune asked, "In sickness and in health, to death do us part?"

"Kind of heavy..." Yang voiced, and all eyes were on her. She looked back up at Jaune, "But... if we're all in on this... I could be serious for once in my life. Jaune said this was the most serious thing he's ever done, but it's the same for me. Maybe worse for me. I spent my childhood kind of being a bit of a thrillseeker, but just now, the like year we've known each other means more to me than the rest of my life. Going forward or backwards."

"Can I say it?!" Nora asked.

"Say what?" Ruby asked her.

"The gang's all here. Now we can die together!" Nora shouted.

"Aw, shit, I'm sure we can think of a better way to..." Yang tried to say, but Weiss stood up.

"A marvelous way of putting it. Now, Ruby, your thoughts?"

"Okay... I mean... I am kind of the leader... so I guess it makes sense you guys would get to shack up with the guy I'm with, I mean..."

Weiss breathed in deeply a few times before being able to say anything. "How do you feel about Jaune?"

"Oh, like, he's so wicked-cool-awesome-giant-strong, but so are all of you!"

"Except the giant part." Weiss voiced.

"I don't know..." Yang voiced, "with the way she carries herself around, you'd think the world revolved around her."

Weiss blushed and looked down. She then looked up at Ruby, satisfied that Ruby was finished. She then cleared her throat, looking at Jaune. "You have been far too kind to me."

"I... what?.." Jaune asked.

"Even?.." Yang asked, "all the times... he..."

"He was perhaps a bit overbearing." Weiss stated, but looked R_BY and Jaune in the eyes, "But can any of you honestly say that I am not as well?" No one could say anything in reply. She then continued looking between everyone, "When I first came down to Vale, I thought the world owed me everything, but... then I found a place to belong. Perhaps the FIRST place I've ever belonged. Our mottley crew is more of a family than mine ever was. For me, when I was small..." she voiced, "small... er... family was more about dynastic concerns than, you know, mutual support and whatnot. But, thanks in large part to our sisters, and their... unsual... but loving family, I have seen the error of my ways."

"What she means," Yang stated, "is that she's in."

"Hm... I mean... yes..." Weiss voiced, "Blake?"

"Yes." Blake stated, and everyone started at her, "What?," she asked, "there's no way I could possibly say everything I want to say, so... yes..."

Yang then raised her hand, "So... when do we get to... you know?.."

Jaune looked at them for a pregnant moment. "You should all... first..."

"We should all what, first?" Ruby asked.

"I think he means..." Yang voiced.

"Oh, that's what he means." Blake added.

"What?" Ruby asked, and Blake grabbed Weiss' hand. Weiss nervously looked towards her when Blake moved in to passionately kiss her on the lips.

"What?" Yang asked, but looked over to find Ruby trying to do the same to her. "Chill for a minute." Yang said."

"For a minute." Ruby said, as she slowly backed off.

"So, like, what?" Yang asked.

"I don't want this to be a you and me thing; I want you all to be happy together."

"I suppose it would avoid discord in the hareem..." Weiss voiced.

"You girls are all wicked hot." Yang added, only to recoil as she saw Ruby coming in for another kiss. She held her off with a hand, "So... uh... even me and Ruby?" Yang nervously asked, but Jaune said nothing, just watching. Reluctantly Yang let go of Ruby who dove in to kiss her on the lips.

Qrow then walked out to the middle of the group. Once Ruby pulled back from Yang and the two caught their breath he spoke, "Alright, now that you kids have that all worked out, maybe we should talk about getting to Atlas, or something?"

"Spoiler." Yang said to him.

"I hate to rain on your parade, kids, but apparently someone has to." Qrow continued. "Now, the easiest way into Atlas is through Argus, but, word on the street has the borders still shut. Why don't we ask Weiss' pet?"

"Hello?" Aurora said as she walked up.

"Aurora?" Weiss questioned her nonchalance.

"Sadly," Aurora stated, "none of my connections have a way into Atlas. You cannot get in without direct approval from the Atlas Council."

"General Ironwood," Weiss voiced, "has two seats on the Atlas council."

"Which means?," Jaune asked, "if we convince him?.."

"Convincing him is not the hard part." Qrow voiced, "despite our differences, we go way back, and even if he doesn't believe in Ozpin himself, he believes in his ideals. Maybe in a bit of a different way No, the problem is talking to him. The CCT is still down, and it's hard to get anything into Atlas, and it's not like James can just come right out and support me."

"Why not?" Nora asked, and Qrow drank from his flask.

"Seriously?" Yang asked him.

"Like?.." Jaune added, "aren't you hung over like the rest of us."

"Ever hear of Hair of the Dog?" Qrow asked. "Anyways, that's one of the reasons, I'm an unkept alcoholic who has... let's say... issues... with authority."

"Welcome to the club." Jaune said to him.

"You're not an alcoholic," Qrow said to him, "at least not yet. But it's one of the things... we work in secret. If people start looking into us and find out about the Maidens, and Salem, and," he said, and paused a moment, "can you imagine it?"

"Bedlam." Ren stated.

"Panic in the street." Blake added.

"And that's why James has to pretend he doesn't like me..." Qrow voiced, "heh... pretend..."

"Aurora?" Jaune asked.

"Yes, sir?" she replied.

"Sir?" he asked.

"Yes, sir?" Aurora replied.

"uh?.."

"Honey?" Weiss asked him.

"Honey?" he replied.

"We perhaps still have yet to decide this." Weiss continued.

"Anyways..." Jaune said to Aurora, "can your connections... get a message to him?"

"oh?!" Aurora exclaimed, "Several, in fact."

"Let's use all of them." Jaune stated.

"Like... ALL of them?" Yang asked.

"Blake said her father sent a messager, right?" Jaune asked.

"It," Ilia voiced, and all heads turned to look at her, "was probably Yuma."

"I did not mean to disturb you at all." Aurora voiced.

"More things to talk about." Blake added.

"Yes, all." Jaune said to Aurora. "Or like, a dozen?"

"As soon as James sees Qrow Branwen on his desk, he'll act." Qrow said, "It might be to punch me... but..." and shrugged.

"And... in the mean time?.." Ren asked.

"Train." Qrow stated, and drew his scythe, pointing it at Ren and Nora.

"Can I fight Yang?!" Nora exclaimed. "Or you?, how about you?"

Qrow put his scythe away, "I'm kind of the teacher, so no. How about you fight Jaune?"

"Pft." Nora stated, "That's like treason or something."

Weiss and Blake looked Jaune in the eyes.

"I... have learned... to accept..." Jaune voiced, "mostly accept... the high opinion Nora has of me... high... and low... Still don't understand it."

"HE'S OUR GLORIOUS LEADER!" Nora exclaimed.

"I do love her enthusiasm." Yang added.

[feverinfeveroutfic]

chapter thirty one: sets of twins

October thirteenth had come about and Sam knew for a fact that Joey was having a blast overseas in Germany. She pictured him with a big cake courtesy of one of the large luxurious bakeries over there that specialized in making cakes, and she knew he was to head off to bed that evening with his belly full of it as well as the dinner he so well chose.

Meanwhile, the arrival of the orange and red leaves on all of the trees made her think of the last days in which she and Cliff were together, right around that time in fact. A year ago. A year ago she had lost Cliff to the northern darkness and he became the hunter in the shadows left behind the aurora borealis. The walks to and from school only made the memory of him far more potent: but it was Joey's birthday when the reality of it all settled over her. Metallica had ascended into a whole other world of their own, but Joey and Anthrax remained right by her, right within arms' reach, just like the colors that changed on all of the trees around her.

The red and orange like the feathers decorated upon Joey's headdress.

She pictured him out front there on the stage with a little party hat upon his head much like Alex's birthday party, or perhaps he would wear one of those inside of his Indian headdress during their performance of “Indians”. The only drawback she saw with it however was that his birthday took place right smack in the middle of the week. Add to this, Sam, Marla, and Belinda didn't have a three day weekend like they so assumed would happen with Columbus Day.

“Go to school anyways,” Joey told her over the phone on the Thursday night before that weekend. “Make all the great art you possibly can for Monday. We need that great art of yours—all the red feathers and the Iroquois lore. The world needs that great art of yours.”

He then cleared his throat and sang to her in the softest, most gentlest voice she had ever heard him sing. She lay in bed all the while as well, and so when he sang to her, it almost felt as though he was singing her to sleep. Indeed, she nestled down in bed and pulled the blankets up to her chin as she held the cordless phone up to her ear. She pictured him laying in bed as well, complete with a cup of Mexican hot chocolate next to him. She smiled when he crooned the words, “Oh, Samantha” in a near whisper.

“That was so sweet,” she told him afterwards.

“That's the song I sang for my audition into Anthrax,” he explained, “it's called 'Oh, Sherrie', by Steve Perry from Journey. I just changed it to Samantha to kinda give it to ya and whatnot.”

“Aw.”

He then cleared his throat. “So any word on that big ass monolithic ginormous project you've got coming up?” “Nothing yet,” she explained, “although I'm supposed to meet up with Bill next Friday afternoon and talk it over more. At least I hope to get to see him. He told me he's going to pop into one of my classes just to watch me, but he never told me when it's supposed to happen.”

“Well, damn.”

They fell into silence for a seconds and then she spoke again.

“You know, I think you can actually come with me out to California,” she pointed out, “like—you know, we don't have to do the long distance. I might have to ask him about it because the whole thing about it being about school and whatnot. I say this because that was the mistake Cliff and I made. He didn't want to leave the Bay Area and I didn't want to leave New York, either. He actually got kind of defensive about it at one point. I remember that was one of the last things he and I talked about before Metallica left for their tour and we never fully finished it, either.”

“Wow, that sounds like there was a rift between you two,” Joey noted.

“I wouldn't necessarily say that,” Sam confessed as she slipped one hand underneath her pillow, right under her head. “But it was definitely something we couldn't address further than that, though. Cliff was so home grown with the Bay Area that it almost feels like a betrayal to him that he was killed in Scandinavia, somewhere that wasn't his home.”

“And if I'm honest, I kinda am, too, but with upstate.” He then cleared his throat again. “Although—make no mistake, though, Sam. If we were a lot bigger than we are right now, like if Anthrax truly was about to become something huge, I would probably reconsider that.”

“So for you, it's not just feeling at home and at peace in upstate New York but it's a matter of money.”

“Right! Exactly. We are kinda earnin', but it's not really a lot, though. No idea why this is, either. But we're barely getting paid, though, even while being on tour. Anyways, I gotta mosey on outta here—rehearsal starts in like three minutes. Also before I forget. I should tell ya this: be on the lookout for postcards.”

“Postcards from you?”

“From me, from Frankie, from Charlie, from Danny, from the girls, all of us. We're gonna be sending ya stuff while we're over here in Europe. Also, another thing I should ask you—how's Scott doin'? Have you talked to him at all?”

“I haven't seen him, no,” Sam confessed. “Like weeks—not since you auditioned for the guitarist position. Although I'm thinking of going over to his place and at least checking in on him and his fiancée.”

“You ought to. On the flight over here, Frankie and I were talking and at one point, he goes, 'I wonder how Scott's been doing lately. We sure haven't heard from him in a long time.'”

Someone behind him interrupted him right then and there.

“What's that?” Joey called back and he held the phone away from his ear. The person said something.

“Okay,” he told them, and he brought the phone back. “Anyways, I gotta go. You sleep tight, alright?”

“Of course,” Sam said. “And you guys don't stay up too late.”

He chuckled at that. “Alright—good night, Sam I am. I love you.”

“I love you, too.”

And they hung up at the same time. She lay there on the bed and gazed up at the ceiling above her, and she listened to the falling rain outside of her window.

But at some point, she drifted off to sleep without putting the cordless back. There was a dream in there at some point, but she had no idea as to what it exactly encapsulated, especially by the time she woke up and Marla was cooking something in the kitchen for the both of them.

Sam had hope that the Cherry Suicides would have their day on Halloween for their annual celebratory show. She had no idea as to where they were playing that night, either, but she hoped that they would have those sugar skulls with them again.

Indeed, on Columbus Day weekend, she sat down with her colored pencils and her journal. She thought of Joey and that big headdress of red and white feathers perched high on his head, as if it was a crown. The crown in lieu of a party hat, the crown for his ascension into his twenty seventh trip about the sun, and thus she drew his head and shoulders. Those thick luxurious curls down from his head in such flyaway fashion and that big cluster of feathers all the way down to the floor. That rich scarlet for the base and the orange and golden yellow for the power of the sun.

She thought about Belinda's wishes to take her into stained glass. Perhaps it could be something genuinely wonderful as she picked up the Prussian blue and burnt umber colored pencils for the shadows under Joey's eyes and all about his face.

She thought about the glass in question, in how it all seemed so much brighter and more colorful when in the sun. All the times of walking to and fro about that front hallway of the school, where the morning sun shone through the stained glass. If only there was a way to bring it all forth with mere colored pencils.

Indeed, she brought the burnt umber to an angle and she began shading in his skin, a tone ever so light about his face. By his nose and the point of his chin, she gave it another layer and spread it out. Followed by another and another, until there she had the darkest, fullest shade of that lush, earthy brown for his sun kissed skin. The blue, meanwhile, added a touch more depth, especially to the natural creases on his face, around his nose and the corners of his mouth and his dark lips.

If only there was a way in which she could show this drawing to Joey, and if only there was a way in which she could translate this very drawing over to the world of stained glass. She had faith in Belinda and her power of convincing, however the whole suggestion about bringing leather crafting to the school seemed to have fallen on deaf ears at that point: neither of them heard anything about it since Alex's birthday party.

It was right there that she had forgotten to ask Joey about the guitar strap she had given to him for his birthday, and how it was faring for him with the overseas crowds. She pictured him at the front of the stages, with the microphone before him and the guitar slung over his shoulder, high against his body as it should be with him. If there was anything he could have given Alex credit for, it had to be that. The whole thing between him and Alex almost no sense to her, even to that moment in time, it made no sense to her.

The day following Joey's birthday, a Wednesday afternoon and the only time Sam had any time to herself during that quarter given Marla's whole hectic schedule on her own as well as all that she had to do, she spotted a pair of cards in the mailbox downstairs, one light rosy pink and the other a butter yellow. The latter had with it a small lumpy envelope the size of a playing card.

She turned over the yellow card where she was met with a clear, crisp photograph of a castle in Germany. To be near a castle once again!

But then she turned it over again in order to read that messy scrawl in blue pen.

“Sam—

my wife and I are trusting you with this key to our apartment, seeing as we owe you the record player with Spreading.

I hope all is well back home right now! I wish you were here with us—if you loved England, you'll love Germany and Holland even more.

Love, Danny”

She turned her head back to the mailbox and she took out the envelope. Indeed, she felt something hard inside, and she knew that she had been given a chance to listen to the vinyl records she so wished to listen to, mainly Spreading the Disease and also Live at Eindhoven. She then turned to the pink postcard, which had a photograph of a cobblestone street somewhere in Amsterdam. But right in the midst of the cobblestones stood the Cherry Suicides, donned in black hats and red veils as if someone had taken the picture right before the show and one of them tacked it onto the card. She then turned it over to read.

“Sam—

do you remember that tape we asked you to make for us? Well, we got accepted into the new merger between Megaforce and the other label with it! A bootleg tape is now a live album thanks to your help. It's not our debut album, but it's something to start with with us. Because of it, we're happy to tell you that you're the first in line for this new record. The Cherry Suicides: from Rhode Island with love—live in Boston 1987, is the full title. Be on the lookout for it around Halloween, believe it or not.

Be on the lookout for a live album from Anthrax and Testament, too—although I'm sure you already know about the latter. I don't know if Eric told you this yet, but that album isn't even supposed to come out over there in States until next year, so consider yourself lucky, my lady! Anyways, there's all kinds of good stuff from all of us! Things are in fact beginning to look up, and the four of us in particular owe it all to you.

Morgan, Minerva, and Rosita all send their love, and as do I.

-Zelda”

She smiled at that and she held both cards to her chest, a pair of twin cards, from two people she held so close to her heart. She then made her way upstairs with those as well as that lumpy envelope that Dan had sent her, and she was eager to make her way over to his place all to listen to those vinyl records.

Again, a pair of twins, soon to be triplets with the Cherry Suicides' upcoming live album. How exciting! The girls finally found their way with a new record, and it happened to be that bootleg tape that Sam had made for them while they toured with Anthrax and Testament as well.

She almost stumbled her way into the apartment but she caught herself before Genie greeted her at the door. Once she set everything down on the couch, she reached down and pet her little black cat head. She squinted her eyes at the feeling and she treated Sam to a low purr, and she squatted down before her so she could better pet her.

If she was to leave for California with Bill, then she would have to leave Genie behind as well, and this cat always greeted her in particular whenever she came in through that door. She erected her tail but left a small hook at the top as she rubbed on her knees. She turned around and gazed up at her with those soft golden eyes and that purr from within her throat, and Sam continued to pet her head and her back before her knees began to ache from the squatting.

No sooner had she stood to her feet when the phone rang.

“Oh, goodness me,” she told Genie, and she bowed into the kitchen and fetched the phone on the wall. “Hello?”

“Hello, daughter of mine.” She recognized her mother's voice on the other end.

“Oh, hi, Mom! I got home from school just now. What's happening?”

“I have some good news and some bad news,” Esmé began.

“Good news first,” Sam told her.

“The good news is in this past summer, starting from May, I have taken up writing. I handed in a sample of a manuscript to a publishing house down in L.A and I'm waiting to hear back from them. Your mother just might become a published author soon.”

“Oh, my god, that's wonderful!” Sam waved her hand about before her face, and then she remembered. “Now what about the bad news?”

“The bad news is—your father and I might be splitting up,” she confessed in a low voice. Sam then brought that same hand to her mouth to keep herself from screaming, or puking. Esmé let out a low whistle but she never said anything after that. The silence was deafening all around them.

“Why?” Sam finally managed to choke out.

“He tells me that things are just not right anymore,” she explained, “and they haven't been, either. Even I will admit to that. and just so you know, I never mentioned the man whom I used to know to him once before. But the human intuition is incredible, though. He and I—we talked it over together just this morning—and ever since then I haven't been able to completely process it yet.” She sniffled and Sam held a hand to her chest.

“Oh my god,” she breathed out. To think that her parents had been together for so long at that point as well: it didn't even feel right to her.

“But just—let's keep it between you and me, though,” Esmé advised her. “Unless Marla is really genuinely curious about it. I just—I don't know how else to tell you about this, either, other than straight up over the phone. If you were closer to us, I may have told you sooner before and you may have witnessed it as well.”

“Well, Mom—if it's any comfort at all—I actually might be back out there next summer,” she sputtered.

“Really?” Esmé paused. “What for? What happened?”

“Yeah, my counselor told me that my senior project is taking place out there. Like he planned it ahead of time, out in California, and he told me it's supposed to start like next August. So my junior year will end and then he and I prepare on heading out that way. With this—with hearing this, the one and only pitfall I can think of and see out of that is I'll be away from my friends here.”

“And you've settled into New York City, too,” Esmé added, “you seem so at home there, more so than you do here on the West Coast. But at least your father and I will get to see you again. This is actually something I've disliked about you living so far away from home, if I'm honest. I miss having you around us—and I know Ruben does, too. We both miss you dearly.”

“The other thing about it is I dunno how long it'll be, either,” Sam continued.

“And you'll be far away from Joey, too,” said Esmé in a grim tone of voice.

“I'll be far from Joey, too,” she echoed her.

“But wait, how does he feel about going out West? Maybe he can join you and Bill while you're out here.”

“I dunno—he and I were actually talking about that the other night. It's kind of Cliff was so reluctant to move with me, but Joey's more concerned with money, though. And just like Cliff, he's born and raised here in New York—you know, the whole upstate area where he's from. It's such a homey area, like the direct opposite of New York City in my opinion. You know, New York City is where the world comes to play and figure things out. Upstate is where the world bypasses it because everyone else pitched a tent there. So—I don't really see it, to be completely honest with you, Mom.”

“And it's a grueling task, too,” Esmé added, “you know the struggle the three of us went through three years ago.”

“How could I forget,” Sam quipped. “I was so happy to finally just lay down in bed afterwards.”

“Your father and I were, too, when we were staying at the hotel. I mean, we love New York for sure, and I do especially—in fact—come to think of it, one of the things that's driving the two of us apart is my desire to be back East, closer to you.”

“Really?” Sam pressed her free hand to her hip. “Well, why didn't you say anything before?”

“Well, because your father undertook so much when we were moving you over there. When we got home, Ruben said, 'we're only going over to New York for Thanksgiving or Christmas. I mean no offense to Sam at all, but we seriously can't do this all the time.' He never said anything to you because he didn't know how you would react to it.”

And Sam also thought about the previous conversation they had had before, in which Ruben might not have been her father after all. Indeed, it would also explain as to why she hardly heard anything from him unless the holidays rolled about.

“My publisher is also based out of L.A., too,” Esmé continued. “To make a huge decision such as that, a big grueling move across the family such as that, to move three thousand miles away now would be so frivolous and ultimately fruitless, in my personal opinion.”

“And it just wouldn't make any sense on top of that, anyway,” Sam pointed.

“Right, with you possibly coming out come the summer time as well. It wouldn't be right to me to have you out here for something for school only to have to pick everything up and swap places with you.”

But the news of her parents separating left Sam yearning for something else, something different. She barely paid any attention to anything more that her mother talked about after that; instead she thought of her next drawing. By the time she and Esmé bode each other goodbye for now, she returned to the couch to fetch her things. The lovely feeling she had had before had disappeared with the realization of what happened.

Even though her mother told her not to speak with anyone about it, Marla needed to know about it, and Joey needed to know about it. Aurora had built a home of her own and she hadn't heard anything from her since Alex's birthday party when she made it about herself. Her own best friend and fellow California girl wasn't even around to know about this thing that could alter everything and the world in which Sam knew about from that point onward. Her own best friend and whom she believed was her confidant.

Marla was more trustworthy with the arrival of all of this.

And it was right there that the tears began to fall from her eyes. She sniffled and brushed one away from her right, and she opened her book bag for her journal once again. To the page that followed her birthday drawing to Joey. She tried to keep the tears at bay as she put the first strokes of graphite down on the heavy graphite. But they still streaked down her face as she gave the drawing some dark hair.

Herself as a young child.

She thought about going into her room with the journal, but she had no reason to do so when she had the couch all to herself. She wept for herself and for the fact that she was never returning to childhood. She was never returning to Cliff. Even though she had no siblings to count on, she did feel as though she missed something. There had to be something right next to her all the while, someone else right next to her. She looked over at Genie, who had curled up in her usual spot on the couch.

Her golden eyes closed of the part of the way but she stayed awake.

Careful not to startle her, Sam reached over and petted her head again. She pinched those eyes closed all the way, which in turn made more tears bleed out from Sam's eyes.

She thought about Alex, in how she met him when he was still a young boy in school. He was still a boy to her, but even from a moment's glance, she could tell that he had grown so much in these past three years. The past four years, from when Testament first began life from the suburbs of San Francisco.

Four years since they came to the fold as Legacy, and she was right there when they changed their name. And now she had gotten their very first live album: it awaited her in her bedroom as if it taunted her from the darkness.

A legacy in its own rite.

And she knew that she would be near them once again come the summer time. But she returned to the journal to make that drawing of herself as a little girl. Through her tears, she made more markings that collected into the shape of something new. She had no idea as to how he looked as a child himself, but she knew the little pearl of gray hadn't made its grand entrance yet. That thick jet black hair and those big deep eyes that seemed to swallow her whole, even from the grains of paper, even from the softness of childhood.

She thought about the hug he had given her at his birthday party. Soft like a young boy still.

And yet she couldn't bear the thought of leaving Joey behind. To leave him there in upstate New York to his own devices. But then again, he had that guitar with him, and he had all manner of friends still within range of him, and he had his band as well.

His band.

Scott burst into her mind then, as did Dan Lilker. They had started Anthrax themselves, and yet they both had departed from their places. By some dark magic, Anthrax had become Joey's band almost overnight. He was the heart and soul for sure, but he had come into the fold well after they had started and lifted off of the ground. It wasn't like Alex, who had come into the fold with Testament right after their start and then watched them go forth.

To think Joey had been inherited a whole band from Scott all because of something that he did and something that Scott had dismissed time and time again. Something about it made her squirm in her seat a bit.

Granted, Joey was her boyfriend, and she knew that no matter what happened with Anthrax or with him, that she had to stand behind him on it, something that she had picked up from being with Cliff. But nothing about his position in the band spoke to her about it being his band, however. A stranger in a strange land there when it pertained to him. She couldn't help but compare the whole experience with Testament, either, the other quintet that was still a quintet themselves.

Chuck stood on the stage with his microphone stand and played it like he would a guitar, but at least that was part of the whole deal with them. She hadn't seen him pick up a guitar from someone who was obviously the opposite of him and then go forth with it out of sheer spite. She could hope all she wanted with Joey, but he had to come to his senses about his interaction with Alex at some point in the future. It was only fair to him, and it was only fair to Joey himself.

But on the other hand, she recalled as to how miserable Joey was without a guitar at his helm. She wanted him to be away from the alcohol, away from the drugs. She wanted him to excel as the true genuine artist she knew he was meant to be, that he had tucked away all by the constraint of time itself. He had to continue on with the guitar, and he had to continue on with Anthrax, with them as a four piece rather than a massive quintet like Testament or even Death Angel.

But he also had to come back down to earth. The kindness was within him: she could feel it, and she did in fact feel it with him. To brush away the contradictions like she brushed away tears, and she could perhaps crack the code with him. To dilute his venom like she would with watercolor and paint with it upon her canvas for all the world to see, and so she could say that she had danced with Joey Belladonna and gave him art.

She brushed away more tears as she completed the remainder of the two children on the page before her, the drawing of herself and the drawing of Alex. Two twin children, even though they weren't even a little bit related to one another.

If only there was a way in which she could contact him and not through the fan club only. He had showed to her those fleeting moments, those little nuggets, those glimpses to what resided behind those deep eyes. But much like with Joey, therein resided something more that he wasn't showing her. There was more to Alex than she had given him credit for, and more than Joey had given him credit for.

She then raised her head from the journal and she glanced back at Genie, who had curled up into a tight bun on the top of the couch and went to sleep.

Marla wouldn't be home for at least another half an hour.

She peered out the door to the porch, at the buildings across the street and the sliver of harbor beyond that. So much to New York she hadn't seen yet, and so much she hadn't done yet, but she wanted to do it all right then and there. She could feel the clock ticking, the end of the day coming. The end was upon her, just like how Cliff said it would be when he set out for the last time into Sweden. Beyond the drapes, beyond the veil, beyond the darkness.

To live in the great unknown and only find herself in a single small pinprick of it, but something else called her back. Even though she had pitched the tent herself there in Hell's Kitchen with Marla, the past called her back. The past to make peace with the present and ultimately the future.

Maybe it was in fact time to head on back home after all, but then again she had so much at her every whim and desire. There was no way she could leave now, but she also had to leave. To go with Bill to California and to be there for her mother and her father both as they sorted things out between them, and to find out more of the secrets they had kept from her all these years. Maybe it was time to head on back home, to be closer to her parents.

To be closer to the other side of the scene.

To be closer to Cliff again.

[fandomwarriorqueen]

Maybe it’s because I grew up watching Disney movies all the time but I don’t like the Disney movies for their romance. Yes the romance parts are great especially in some of the later movies but there’s so much to learn from each and every princess. Ps, this is really fucking long but I think it’s important and carries a lot of good life lessons. Sorry for bad grammar and weird language. My only language is English but I don’t speak it that well when I’m tired.

Snow White: She didn’t let her fear get in the way of her caring heart, and the only reason why the old crone was her stepmother was because her stepmother actively looked for her knowing that Snow would help her because of how kind she was, which is how she convinced her to take her into the house. The only person who did something wrong was the Evil Queen in taking advantage of a girl of 14 who doesn’t understand what she did wrong.

Cinderella: Being brave enough to follow your heart and work to make your dreams come true is something I especially think that we could learn form today. She worked to get all her chores done and because of everything she did for them the mice helped her finish the dress. The fairy godmother saw how hard she tried to go to the ball, and so she helped Cinderella get there and make sure she wasn’t recognized by Lady Tremaine so that way she couldn’t be abused further for leaving the house. Also while Cinderella was excited by the idea of meeting the Prince, she was excited because she wanted to meet to him and talk to him and that’s what ultimately drew him to her. She wasn’t throwing herself at someone because of his money or titles like Drisella or Anastasia or the other women, in fact she fell in love with him and married him for the way he loved her.

Jasmine: A lot of people don’t recognize the strength it takes for Jasmine to make the decisions she made. Instead of quietly submitting to a marriage she instead used her position as princess to make a point and refused to sit idly by as a glorified prisoner within the palace walls, and a lot of people don’t realize that a lot of women/girls in middle eastern countries aren’t allowed to leave their homes or are forced to married the men that their fathers chose for them either because they don’t know better, or fear of retribution. It also makes a point that just because women may be the money makers doesn’t mean that the man is any less important in the relationship. Jasmine chose Aladdin because he supported her as who she was as a person and recognized that she wouldn’t want to marry a prince who thought he was worthy because he was a man/Prince so rather he proved that he wanted to marry Jasmine because he loved her for all of her.

Mulan: This is another one because Mulan broke the gender roles that are present even with modern Western societies. Men go off to fight in wars and women stay home get married and maybe get a job and raise the kids, but there are so many women who fight for our country and rights and our freedoms, and continue to fight to make sure we can keep them, but also create more and help others. Also Mulan shows that sometimes it goes beyond raw power and the ability to follow orders that makes a person successful. You have to be driven, hard-working, creative, and cunning in order to achieve your goals. Also not to mention it teaches girls to be proud of who they are as fighters, and not to hide behind any type of mask because they aren’t worthless. Also there are so many unspoken women in history that did a lot for their countries during war times, and Mulan barely begins to cover it.

Belle: This is one of my personal favorites for multiple reasons. Beauty and the Beast is my favorite movie and Belle is my favorite princess and theirs a reason. There are so many types of people out there and being book loving introvert that didn’t have a lot of friends growing up Belle was a huge role model for me. For one she didn’t take shit Gaston and refused to let him and the villagers influence her values and get in the way of her passion for reading and refused to let people make fun of her father, because her parentage was something she was proud of, and rightfully so, as her father was a ingenious inventor. Also not to mention she didn’t take shit from the Beast as well, being the first person to let him know throw a healthy way *cough* unlike the Enchantress *cough* that he wasn’t treating people with the respect they deserved, but she still helped him when he saved her life showing that she has a good heart, as she just returned to the very castle she had been escaping. Of course another thing she does is instead of immediately leaving, as soon as she sees hope of progress and change within the Beast she teaches him what it means to be a good person, acting as a teacher and good influencer. The reason she doesn’t do this with Gaston is because he not only refuses to change, and instead tries to change her, he also threatens her, and as soon as she’s not submissive to him, he labels her as crazy and casts her to the side and goes on a jealous rampage against the man she does have feelings for, as I do often see within my own school. Belle also sees past the views of the villagers, who see Gaston as more then a strong handsome guy and instead for the asshat he is, which is something that girls should keep in mind when approaching anyone of the preferred gender. Look at personality and not physical features. Most of the time you can see the warning signs of an abusive relationship before it actually starts, if you look for them.

Ariel: This is one that I find really intersting and I’m at odds with. On one hand I think that Ariel had a right to be curious and she was right to look past her family views and try to see humans for what they were rather then what her family labeled them to be. This applys great to people who have bigot parents and absolutely encourage curious people to ask me questions about my heritage and my sexuality and a lot of my guy friends ask a lot of what it’s like being a girl. Education isn’t always what you read in books. Also I like how even though Ariel was putting herself at risk, she recognized the need that Eric was in, and set her own self aside to save Eric, as you should always value life and try to help others in need when possible. On the other hand, Ariel gave up a lot for Eric. While I understand her need to leave her family behind she knew nothing about Eric or if he was in fact a mermaid killer as she had never had a true conversation with him, and you should never jump headlong into relationships like that because it’s not always healthy and can lead to a lot of miscommunication. Also another thing I don’t like is the Flotsum and Jetsum reminded me so much of creepy old men luring kids into cars. Stay safe and aware. Your life isn’t worth a guy or whatever your willing to get yourself killed for. There was a reason Sebastian tried to warn her and a reason Flounder took his side. Your friends often times have your best interests at heart, and are looking out for you. Listen to them. Sometimes they can see stuff you can’t. Also the fact she gave up her voice for Eric is something I’m at odds with. Yes relationships do take sacrifice and work, but you should never ever feel the need to give up such a huge part of yourself for someone else, and a person who cares about you would never ask that if you. If Eric truly cared about Ariel he would have saw past the tail and they could have tried to find another way to be together without putting Ariel in danger. Also irrational choices. Times of emtions and clouded judgment are not the time and place to make life changing decisions. Also people may claim to be helping but often times if they want something out of it, especially something big and personal, they are you using and should not being trusted.

Aurora: Not gonna lie I don’t have much to say because she wasn’t in much of the movie. But yeah talking to people isn’t a bad thing, you can’t let your guardian determine your social life that’s for you to figure out. For me it’s social media and a lot of theater nerds, for others they’re sportsy and they like taking to people and making friends face to face. But also talk to people a bit before asking them in a date, and if they name a sketchy place or seem to have a sketchy background don’t meet them. They could be fishers or rapists or just weird. Not really Aurora’s fault and for the time picking her up at a woodsman cottage in the middle of the woods isn’t that weird, but Phillip hun if the lights aren’t on and the voice sounds like the wicked fairy from your fiancées baptism then don’t go in. Also don’t date people if your engaged it’s rude.

Pocahontas: While I understand a lot of the movie isn’t historically accurate for a kids movie about looking past race and understanding someone before you judge them, and misplacing your anger, 100% done right Disney. Amazing. Beautiful. Gorgeous. Also find those key supporting figures in your life like Grandmother Willow, because those are the people that in the long run, will be there for you and love you forever. Also, again, be true to yourself. Pocahontas wasn’t happy with being the conplacent wife, don’t be the conplacent girl. If you have dreams, go fucking get them. They are so within your grasp all you have to do is leave the haters behind, jump in your canoe, and look at what’s around the river bend. Also thank you for discussing how precious every single bit of life on our Earth is and how much we should preserve it, but also for calling out white imperialism. You didn’t come form this land, just because you say mine like a spoiled child, doesn’t give you the right to commit genocide and kill multiple cultures and thousands of people, and destroy the land they worked so hard to preserve, and then deny them rights in their own country. My ancestors are guilty of this, and my ancestors have also been the victims. While it’s horrible and needs to be taught better in schools and bigotry needs to be erased, we also need to move past it a preserve the dying cultures by teaching people about them, even if they don’t necessarily belong to the culture by blood. I’m more Irish then Aztec, but I want to know more about my heritage on both sides. And I live for teaching people my history if they’re willing to listen.

Tiana: Girl you are a strong black women and you have a dream and you work hard and you make your daddy proud every goddamn day. But you also have to remember that you need to give yourself the space to grow and be a person outside of work. You need to remeber to have fun, and you can only give 100 if you treat yourself like you’re 100. But also you can’t dilly dally along all day, and you’ll never get anywhere if life if you don’t work for it. Even the smallest of dreams is something more then nothing (looking at you Naveen) also hey maybe that person worked for that shit you don’t know, but don’t go about the wrong way of doing something through anger because it never ends well. Also hey thanks for showing off the racial devide of the historyocal time period. Just letting you know it was extremely rare for white anf black girls to be friends because most of the time they wouldn’t see each other. Also allowing Tiana into the costume party was truly revolutionary on Charlotte’s part as black people weren’t supposed to be treated as equals. That obviously had changed a lot but it also needs to change still. Not to mention Naveen would have never been allowed to marry Charlotte due to his skin tone even with her daddy’s blessing unless he was a prince, because he would’ve been lynched otherwise. Also that image of family and neighbors being one. That’s was something amazing. Share what you can with those around you cause they other have less. Also let’s make sure that the divide between white and black folks keep getting smaller ok.

Rapunzel: Boy could I go on a tangent about this movie because recognizing who you are as a person and who you want to be is just the start. Mother Gothel was horrible, terrible, awful, and no-good in so many ways I’m surprised the movie is rated G with the level of abuse portrayed in the film. First off you shouldn’t steal, and you cannot claim something made for those in need for yourself when there are others out there suffering so much worse. (Definitely talking about the Medicare system here get your act straight) Also you shouldn’t find the need to control everything about your child’s life. You have to let them be there own person and figure things out on there own otherwise the message will never get through. Also treat your child like a goddamn person they aren’t a slave or your own personal slave they are a human being. Don’t get me started on stealing a child because holy fuck how bad of a person do you have to be.

Merida: I love this movie for a variety of reasons. First a female character does not need a romance to be a successful lead role. Also sane thing, your child isn’t a mini you, or a mold to make as you want. They are a human being. They must grow and learn on their own, or they’ll never truly understand the lesson. The best you can do is support them. Also like with Merida and the princes, a girl doesn’t need a man to be a Queen, a man or another person of preferred gender should just make her stronger. Also one of the things I have learned is that this movie wasn’t Queen Elenore finding the courage to let her daughter be herself, or Merida finding the courage to admit her mistakes, but more then that, it was finding the courage to live in a way Disney had never shown before. Brave was about family love, and how there are so many bonds and relationships that are so much more important and valuable to use then our selfish parts of us like pride, being a family with people who hold different values then yourself is one of eh hardest thing, take it from a person who knows. But you have to find the courage and the strength to move past the fear, anger, and sadness to work together as people who where originally designed to love each other unconditionally, and make a family work, and as shown it only works if every person who’s part of it, puts in the effort and emotion in order to truly create the bond needed to love each other above all else.

This was my long ass rant as to why I think Disney princesses are important and don’t necessarily hold a bad message I didn’t talk about lesser know princesses or Frozen because that is a whole rant in itself that I’m not going to get into because it’s nearily one in the morning here.

[kylagabrielle22]

“Excruciating Reminiscence”

      On the morning of 27th of June, 2015; it was very gloomy and dull to start the day. I stepped outside to our backyard and viewed an aurora firmament that was the tincture of holocaust near the horizon. The ground was cracked underneath my feet and the breeze was humid; it had not rained in a month already. Dust stuck to my ultra-boost Adidas shoes as I made my way to our neighborhood to begin my usual morning jog.

      Everyone knew me as an ambitious woman, calling me names such as “Bridget Jones in-your-face” but I knew myself better that I was a sophisticated lady even if I was that aggressive when it comes to my aspirations. I was kind of lean, with dark, long, frizzy, and wavy auburn hair and my skin was tanned since I was young. I had squint lines at the corners of my hazel brown eyes gained by a memoir spent beneath the sun; at twenty-two, now and then I wonder whether I could decide and have the life in the metropolitan or in the bush I had chosen.

      The daytime was already becoming tepid and the sun was reflecting much light luminously. So, I twirled up the sleeves of my button-up, dry fit Adidas shirt. I wore my usual bluish and faded jogging pants which had grown cottony and cozy over the years. Actually, all of my outfits were just bought at the boutique near our house which was selling a lot of cheap, good, quality second-hand items. I glimpsed at my white G-shock watch and it was a little bit after 8 in the morning. I realized I had a long plenty of time ahead and I still need to do some tasks.

      I pulled the gate open then closed the gate again. When I got home, my family was not there already because my parents were at their work and my siblings had their own family now. Since I am the youngest, I still need to go to school and I better prepare myself already. I took my shower, brushed my teeth, put my well-ironed school uniform on, wore my black shoes with white socks and of course I did not forget to put my go-to make-up routine on my lovely face.

      I arrived at our school early always and I never had the chance to be late. I always got highest scores during examinations, written quizzes, oral recitations and even performance tasks. I always represented my section and my academy during competitions with confidence thus I never lose. My teachers always praised me and I was a favorite to most of the folks whom I knew but I cannot deny the fact that there were some people whose insecure about me and easily get jealous on my achievements in life.  

      “Six more months Bridget Jones in-your-face slash sophisticated Bridget lady, you are going to the metropolitan at last and achieve all your dreams there’, I said to myself as I was finally done writing my valedictory speech in my pocket-sized room. I got bored right after writing my speech; I got my android phone and listened to some songs on my hacked Spotify account with my favorite playlist on. I imagined things while listening to the songs; I formed a mental picture of my life in the metropolitan and how my life could be if I was already there. I knew for sure that I could live there peacefully and fabulously. I closed my eyes, felt the rhythm of the melody of the songs until I slept.  

      On the afternoon of 21st of September, 2017; the most awaited moment in my entire life happened. I was now travelling to my metropolitan dream. The first hundred country mile was on rutted gravel rocks pocked with potholes, first on the reserve, then winding past a number of subnormal villages. That partition would take up to the early afternoon, I was not fond of travelling but I allowed my mind to wander as I took in the world I called my dearest metropolitan. Until, I saw tall buildings and a lot of luxurious cars, I knew that I was already at the border of the metropolitan.

      Indeed, dreams do come true and sometime I was here at the metropolitan area. A big thanks to my former academy and to my Byzantine bloodline I was able to have a big opportunity to apply to some big companies here and I got the job immediately. My life here started well; I had a very nice house with silk-lined wallpaper and polished parquet flooring. The kitchen was about twice the size to our old kitchen, and the refrigerator, when I opened it, was always pretty full. I could say I got a pretty good salary.

      Time had become fragmented, headstrong, arriving and departing in chaotic array of hours. I got tired of my hectic schedule in this metropolitan life I had here. I got tired on my work and I did not have much appetite to begin my day. What was worse was that I did not have much time with myself. So, I gave my life a break. I explored the city life and went each night to clubs and bars. I even tried smoking weed and drinking whatsoever drinks they called.

      On the evening of 30th of December, 2018; I was dressed in faded blue Levis jeans, velvet red Channel sandals, and a yellow sleeveless Burberry blouse that dipped to a low V in front. With smooth, tanned skin and auburn hair framing high cheekbones, I drew my gape with irresistible force. My round eyes widened with some effusive enthusiasm when I eventually came to a breathless stop in front of a guy. He was wearing an all-black outfit and he was smiling above the cosmos with the full moon and dazzling stellar.  

      I have not felt this kind of feeling inside of me way back then. This emotion was unfamiliar to me and I do not know how to react. I was caught off by him and this might be cliche to think but I truly fell in love at first sight of him. Since I do not know what to that moment I turned my back on him and closed my eyes for about a minute. When suddenly, someone patted my shoulder. So I turned and faced the person, surprisingly it was the guy.

      He asked me if I was all alone tonight and if it was fine to me if I let him be my friend. I directly said, “Yes, of course. I’m Bridget Jones and you are?”. He replied, “Andrew Sterling my lady.” while shacking my hand. We went to a night club; we talked about our chaotic lives, we danced on the dance floor like we knew ourselves for so long already and we drank a bucket of alcoholic drinks.

      I was getting tipsy and when I am tipsy I cannot control myself already. I danced and drank one more bucket of beer while he was just watching me and was beaming all along perfectly. I was so exhausted and did not realized that it was already 31st of December which means it was New Year’s Eve. I slept with him in a motel close to the night club and all I could remember was that he said “I love you Bridget Jones.” and kissed me passionately.

      I woke up hearing the swishing sound of the wind and the noise of the cars passing. It seemed, oddly, and I slowly opened my eyes. I lay enthralling it, letting it crystallized, letting my cerebrum play catch-up, as I recognized each for what it was. I looked for my phone to see what time is it but I could not find it. I tried checking it on my bag but I also could not find my bag. “Fudge, darn it!’, I screamed loudly. All of my cards were there; my credit card, ATM card and even my debit card. I got nothing left with me but only my body.

      Then, I remembered what happened last night, I remembered the guy named “Andrew Sterling”, whom I fell in love at first sight with. I realized that I was just being tricked all that night. He just used his charm on me to take my bag; my cards and my phone. I was being swindled by a guy whom I fell in love with for the very first time. No one is completely predictable hence, we all have blindsiding bursts.

      It felt like a long time ago. Although, I could still recognize the lady I was then, I see nothing more than a congruity to the lady I am now. Life before with my mom and dad seems even complete than life without them and living all alone. I forgot my very own and had not paid attention to my parents’ life in the hinterland. I was too ambitious and I focused too much on my aspirations which resulted in a worst situation. I forgot that I was once the sophisticated lady even if they knew me as” Bridget Jones in-your-face.”.

      On the dawn of 1st of January, 2019; I was in the middle of nowhere, it was raining so hard and all I can hear was the tormenting sound of the thunder and the never-ending noise of the raindrops. My heart still wanted my metropolitan dream to be possible but the universe was not governed by wants or even needs. Some things do not work, no matter how much you want them to. I let my choices led me to the wrong path in life. The scary part, I thought to myself, was not the pain but the lasting existence. From now on, I must reckon on things that felt like they came from somewhere deeper than mere reminiscence.  

[patricia-von-arundel]

December Prayer

Rating: G

Summary:  In the first hours of new life, when one's whole world has changed, there is so much wonder and pain, so much hope and so much fear... A love letter from a young mother to her newborn child of winter.

Such a blur, the last day and night; an impossible kaleidoscope of noise and movement and fear and pain, pain such as she had never known, had never dreamed a person could endure and live to tell of it. And yet – live she did. She lived, and breathed, and greeted those allowed in to see her with the expected courtesies, and wondered at her own experience. She had never considered herself a strong person. Truly, she had rarely considered herself at all; she had always been told what she was: daughter, princess, betrothed, wife, queen. Why risk thinking of – wanting – anything more?

But now, almost against her will, certainly against her better judgment, she felt strong, brave – capable. She had weathered the pain, she alone; no one could shoulder it for her or shelter her from it or tell her to look away, this was nothing for a young lady's gaze.

Such a good girl. She had relished the praise, basked in it, warm as summer sun. They patted her on the head, offered benevolent smiles, and sent her on her way. How could she have known she was capable of more? She had yet to reach the end of her second decade.

Mother. Of course it was what came next, regular as clockwork. Pain and blood and soothing voices, the midwife and her trembling apprentices; one of them had cold hands, another broad ruddy cheeks, but their names, if she had ever known them, were gone. She felt bad about that – they had been frightened, but they had helped. They had seen her safely delivered of child. She would ask their names, see that gifts were sent. It was almost Christmas, after all.

She had wondered if the baby would be born on Christmas, but –

“The Winter Solstice, little one?”

She turned at the sound of the voice, melodic and familiar and lilting with gentle humor; she pushed herself up on her elbows, ignoring the pain, letting the smile – nothing demure or controlled about it – spread across her face.

“In such a hurry you chose the shortest day of the year?”

She laughed; that twinged, too, through sore muscles, but she didn't mind. “She was very insistent it be today.”

“Child of winter.” Leaning over, smiling, a long finger stroking down the baby's downy cheek. “She looks like you. She'll be a beauty.”

She blushed, pleased – not at the compliment to herself, but to the child. She hadn't realized babies were quite so monstrous at birth, sticky and red and squash-faced, but the midwife had not seemed concerned, so it must not have been startling. They had cleaned the baby before she held her, but no more than what seemed a few precious seconds had passed before whisking away again. She hadn't protested. She never did.

Good girl.

“You should sleep, little one. While she is.”

She smiled. “It's strange – I'm not at all tired.”

A smile in return, the older woman's eyes crinkling like parchment at the corners. “I remember the feeling well. And also my regret later.” Her gaze casting downward once more. “Has he seen her yet?”

She shook her head. “Some of the men went out looking for him. He left when the pains began. He was... he was very nervous.”

“For the best. Men have no place when a woman is in childbed.”

She'd heard the sentiment expressed before, but still, she had missed him. He had helped her so, to get this far. Would he be pleased, though the child was a girl? She thought he would be. His warm hands had spread tentative and trembling across the swollen expanse of her middle, his eyes wide, his breath shallow, and he let his lips ghost across her skin...

Yes, she thought he would be pleased; pleased and proud. He was a good man, gentle and kind, and if he wanted a son, surely one would come, and until then – and evermore – he would love this little daughter, just as she did.

She hoped he got back soon. She wanted to show him – show him his firstborn child. She wanted him to be proud of her.

The older woman came to her side now, taking her hand. “They told me how brave you were. You did well.”

She couldn't help it – she grinned like a child herself. “Thank you, Your Majesty.”

“If I see him, I'll send him in.” A swift kiss to her cheek, leaving the faint scent of powder and rosewater, and the older woman was gone.

And then – silence. She looked to the window, where night was already, once more, taking reign. The shortest day of the year, the announcement not yet made, for when it was, the night, no matter the dark and the cold, would come alive with revelry, with raucous excitement, noise to wake even a heavy-lidded newborn from the depths of sleep. She would not know they celebrated her birth.

But for the moment, there was only this: this perfect, pristine silence. She could hear, soft as summer rain, the gentle breaths of a baby who had, mere hours before, drawn her first. She had read, as all children must do, stories of saints of monsters and magic, but never had the books held such a miracle as first breath. After, a noise – not a choked cry of cold and shock, but a soft “cah,” almost a query, as if politely questioning the abrupt change in environment. Only when they began to clean her, washing away the mess of birth, did she begin to give off indignant howls. But even those had been brief, and she had remained quiet since, slipping off into easy sleep, refusing to wake even for the wet nurse. She, too, had had a long, difficult day.

Outside the window, the aurora was playing across the sky, vivid kites of green and blue. She had lived here for the better part of three years, but still, they might have been an unanticipated sorcerer’s trick; at home, they had been no more than an occasional faded patchwork at twilight. Her child would grow up with a sky that blossomed like a meadow in spring. Would she appreciate the wonder? Surely, it would be impossible not to do so.

She took a deep breath, pushed herself to a sit, swung her legs over the side of the bed. It hurt, but she had endured worse – even today, there had been much, much worse. She stood up – slowly, carefully – and waited for the throbbing pain to ease, the dizziness to pass. She swallowed hard, wondering if she had used up the store of bravery and strength within herself.

She didn't think she had. She didn't.

She crossed the room in tiny, tentative steps, hugging the wall, running her hand along the paneling. The bassinet – small and ornate, rosewood and soft, warm coverings – was near the window. Near the lights of the aurora. She wanted the baby to see them. It was a sudden desire, but fierce, and there was none here to deny it to her, or argue with her foolishness.

But the baby still slept, and though she gazed down, gnawing her lower lip, for a long moment, she couldn't bring herself – yet – to disturb such peaceful slumber. Already, the baby looked... looked more like she supposed a baby should look, smooth-skinned and pink-cheeked under the flickering lamps. Let her sleep. As long as she needed – let her sleep.

The lights outside weren't going anywhere, besides – this night would be a long one. She edged closer to the window, close enough to place one small hand against the glass, the chill creeping down her fingers. The winters here were so harsh, harsh and unforgiving. Could a newborn grow and thrive in such a place? Surely, surely it could, babies must be born every winter, and the cold couldn't take them all, it couldn't possibly...

But the fear had her now, burrowing into her heart, sharp-toothed and barb-clawed, and she shuddered, wrapping her arms around herself, though the baby had left the warm safety of her womb beneath. Exposed now to the world, unprotected, anything could happen to her beautiful baby girl, anything. Her breath hitched and she looked wide-eyed at the window; at the cold, merciless night beyond.

But – the lights.

Warmth, life: shining color, dancing like fire across the expanse of this long December night.

“Please.” She was not a person of great faith, though she had been dutiful and pious, as expected, in services, but now she found herself speaking to the hope of something greater, to something larger and more powerful than herself. She spoke to the lights. “Please. Keep her safe, and strong, and secure. She's... she's so small and helpless and good, she's so good. And... and all I want, all I ever want, is for her to be safe. And I can't do it alone, I know I can't, I don't know how, but I, I swear, if... if you'll help me, I'll... I'll do my best. I'll do anything I can for her, just... just keep her safe. Please. Please...” Her voice was shaking, and she clasped her hands together like a child at prayer, holding them beneath her chin. She stared up at the ribbons of color. She whispered, “Amen.”

How long, then, did she stand there, still and silent? How long did she watch the rainbow at the window? It might have been seconds, or minutes, or hours – time, like so much else, had changed. All she knew, after, was what drew her away.

The baby made a noise, not quite a cry, and she turned to find ice-blue eyes open, one fist worked free from swaddling and tracing slow, looping shapes in the air.

She bent, though it hurt to bend, and slid careful hands beneath the warm bundle of her baby – support her head! - and lifted, cradled to her chest, whispered nonsense of comfort, though still, her tiny daughter did not cry. They went to the window, now, together.

“Look,” she murmured. “Look at this beautiful night when you were born. Can you see the lights? Oh, and look! Look! It's starting to snow.” She gazed fondly down, down at those blue eyes, round cheeks, brown hair that seemed frosted now with winter light. “Can you see it?” She smiled, hugged the baby tightly to her chest. “Elsa?”

[spootiliousrps]

Drarry Take 2

You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!

You both like drarry.

Stranger: Draco more or less disappeared after his pardon. He didn’t return to hogwarts to finish his education, he didn’t take a job within the magical world, nothing anyone made note of in any case. It wasn’t until years later that his name resurfaced, someone had spotted him, performing with an orchestra in a concert hall in south london playing the theremin. The next few days his face was everywhere, somehow more outraged that he dared show his face among muggles then if he’d cursed the minister. It also brought attention to the hall where he performed. Draco had tried ignoring it, apparating straight home out the back door but his friends were starting to notice how odd he was acting and one night they convinced him against his better judgement to go out and have a drink after the concert. “Hay Dee, I think someone has been checking you out, i saw him following us here after the show.” one of his friends snickered. Draco was well aware of who he was talking about. He supposed he should be happy it wasn’t a reporter from the prophet but Potter was hardly much of a step above. “Oh shut up would you.” he muttered, getting up from their booth. “this round’s on me, what do you want?” He asked the table.

You: [reading]

You: Harry Potter had been working as an aurora for some time now. After he finished his education at Hogwarts he felt it was the least he could do after the war. There were still DeathEaters out there that were dangerous; some even believed Voldemort could still be revived. Harry couldn't take that chance and he sure as hell wasn't going to allow them to hurt anyone else. So, he applied to be an Aurora and was immediately hired. Things had been going fairly smoothly over the last few years but lately... Well... He needed some help. Perferably from someone on the inside but there wasn't anyone that would be willing to at least not until he hear about Malfoy... It was a long shot but he was the only chance he had. So, here he was. He glanced up as Draco stood and moved to cut him off at the bar, knowing he'd be recognized if he hadn't been already.

Stranger: Draco stopped in his tracks as Harry came to stand in front of him. "I know you followed me from the consert. What are you doing here Potter?" He asked him trying his best to sound cool and collected even though it freaked him out quite a bit. he might not be the most caught up in the affairs of the magical world nowadays but he knew Potter was an auror now and those were never any good news.

You: Harry drew up short for a brief moment when they finally came face to face. Draco had always been handsome but in his maturity he was absolutely gorgeous. It took a moment for him to recover but when he did he sighed. "I'm sorry, I was trying to find a good opportunity to approach you." He admitted, before glancing over the blond's shoulder at the table of his friends. "Is there somewhere we can talk? Maybe I can buy you a drink?" He offered.

Stranger: "i'm just on my way to buy my own drink, but thanks." Draco said. "I'm out with my friends tonight if you hadn't already noticed." He told him and as he did he knew he had several of their eyes pealed at the back of his neck, no doubt curious about who this was. "What ever it is that you want to talk about you're going to have to say it here." He hoped that would shield him somewhat, Harry couldn't arrest him in the middle of a crowded muggle bar and he couldn't duel him ether as he half expected.

You: Harry pursed his lips in frustration. Of course, Draco was going to be difficult, he had always been that way. "I suppose you haven't changed much." He mused with a half smile at that. It was actually a bit of a relief. He wasn't sure what to expect when he went after the man but if he was close enough to what Harry remembered than he was sure he could handle him. His smile faded a bit, gaze going back to the group of friends that were waiting for the blond then back to him. "I need your help." He admitted in a bit of a whisper. "And I'm afraid you might be the only person that might be capable of assisting me." He admitted, rolling up his own sleeve to reveal the pale skin of his forearm, obviously hinting at the DeathEater mark on Draco's own.

Stranger: Draco's expression soured, from his nonchalant ease in to something much colder. "I have changed in fact." He mrmured, pushing up his own sleeve and showing what laid beneath his crisp white dress shirt. The skull and the snake were gone in favor of a new image, a dark crow with feathers of green and blue and black, completely covering any trace of what had once been underneath it. "So i'm not sure how i could help you with anything at all."

You: Harry's own expression turned to one of frustration. "You misunderstand Draco." He grumbled. "If I didn't believe you were a better person I wouldn't have come." He admitted, practically hissing the words. "I'm trying to save lives and you're the only person with-" He paused glancing at the group once more, making sure they couldn't hear. "With the /background/ needed to get the information I need." He explained.

Stranger: "I'm not interested in being the ministry's pet, i'm surprised you bent so willingly." Draco frowned. "I always thought you were a bit too much of an anarchist for this sort of thing, but maybe you grew out of that phase." He said, giving him a nonce over critically. Maybe he shouldn't be so bold, Harry was strong and clearly not just in terms of magic. Draco turned back to the Bar counter, paid for the drinks and took the tray back with him to his group of friends.

You: Harry's jaw set at that, bitting back a childish retort. He refused to lower himself. The ministry gave him access to resources he otherwise couldn't which made it ideal for hunting DeathEaters. It wasn't as if he were going to explain himself to the likes of Malfoy however. He watched the man collect the drinks, obviously fuming as he headed back to the table. "What if I told you, I could get your Mother out?" He asked loud enough for everyone to hear. He hadn't wanted to play that card but he had kept it just in case. Draco's mother had helped him during the war, the only reason she was in Azkaban was because Harry refused to testify for or against her. But if he approached the council now after all his achievements, and made it public that she was one of the reasons they had won, then the ministry would have no choice but to release her. The public would always believe Harry Potter, their savior.

Stranger: Draco almost dropped the drinks entirely but instead just set the tray down hard on the table ant whipped around at Harry. "Get out of here you fucking monster." He snarled. He knew Harry could have gotten her out just like he had done for Draco but instead he'd stayed quiet, letting them throw her in that wretched place and now it seemed to all be to be able to wave it in front of Draco's nose.

You: Harry expected the anger but it didn't mean it didn't hurt. He kept his expression even as he nodded somberly. "Alright, Draco." He agreed, lifting his hands up in surrender. "But I'm staying at the Leaky Cauldron for the next few nights if you change your mind." He offered as he tugged out a card and set it on the bar next to him before turning away. "I hope you do." He added softly before disappearing.

Stranger: "not bloody fucking likely unless you actually do something about her." Draco yelled after him, gaining the attention of the entire bar as he raised his voice. His friends tried to shush him, to get to explain what this was all about but he couldn't tell them any of this. On thing was for certain though he wouldn't fall for empty promises,

You: [btw I absolutely love your Draco :3 Thank you so much for this gem!]

Stranger: (Oh thank you i'll do my best to keep this up ^^ )

You: Harry waited for the other man to appear for a full day but he never came. He wasn't too surprised. Draco was nothing if not stubborn. Still, he contemplated meeting the man's demands. If he got his mother released, would he still be able to trust the other man's information? He supposed he didn't really have a choice. So, after making a few calls he set up a private press conference, keeping it as quiet as possible to ensure the ministry knew nothing of it; and within the next two days every reputable news paper in the Wizarding world had Harry Potter on the front page along with an article that reported in detail how Draco's mother saved his life and helped win the war. All he had to do now was wait for the outrage towards the ministry which would see the woman released... Granted she'd be in danger from both sides but Draco would get what he wanted.

Stranger: Draco Rarely paid any attention to the magical news papers and he'd almost dismissed his encounter with potter as a bad dream when he was swarmed by witches and wizards one night after his performance, most of them were reporters and shoved their cameras in his face with apearantly no regard for how much attention they brought from the general muggle public. All of them demanded answers on how he felt about Potters press conference and about the prospect of his mother being released. After he finally managed to excape, leaving almost all of the questions herled at him unanswered the first thing he did when he got home was writing to Harry. Potter, Thank you for getting my mother released. But what i said still stands, I don't understand how you expect me to help you, or what you think i know. I broke with the magical world, and for good reason, for both of our sake. //DM

You: The onslaught of Howlers and threatening letters was overwhelming and as soon as they arrived Harry tended to tear them up rather than read them. Which meant he almost miss Draco's. Almost. He caught sight of the return address and broke the seal immediately, scanning the paper quickly before rereading the words. He scribbled a quick response before sending it. Draco, Its best if we discuss this in person. Meet me at the same pub as before. Tomorrow. 3PM. HP

Stranger: Potter, I cant tomorrow, i have practice which i simply cant miss. I'll see you Friday at 11 am, the coffee shop right next to it. //DM Draco refused to let Harry take control of this, i he really needed Draco's help he'd have to play nice about it. That and he was going to get the position of a solist and the next day would be the first day practicing the piece with the entire orchestra.

You: Harry frowned at the response. Of course Draco wanted to take control of everything. Fine. Harry would play along. Draco, Fine. Tomorrow. Make sure its just you. HP

Stranger: Potter, I dont appreciate your tone, and you better show me the same curtsy in that case. DM

You: Malfoy, You're a massive pain in the arse, as always. I've practically ruined my career and reputation for this. Forgive me if I'm a bit sour. HP

Stranger: Potter, You say "massive pain in the arse" as if you still have the right to pretend like you know me. I haven't even seen you in years. And it's not my fault that you ruined your reputation, you could have done the right thing from the beginning and told them what my mother did for you. //DM

You: Draco, I will see you tomorrow. We can discuss this then. HP

Stranger: Draco didn't feel the need to answer the last message, getting the last word wasn't always worth it and he didn't plan on wasting more ink on Harry then necessary. At least not until he stopped acting like a complete prick.

You: Harry was annoyed to say the least but he did his best to ignore it all. An hour before their designated time Harry was at the Coffee shop, watching the patrons as he waited for the blond, making sure that no one was lingering longer than they should.

Stranger: Draco showed up five minutes late, a bag over his choulder and dressed more cassually then he'd ever done as he grew up. He'd given up the dark cloaks and seveere suits for black jeans and an oliv green jacket over a turtle neck. He walked up to the front counter, not even sparing harry a look yet and chatted a little with the barista as she made him Cappuccino. Him, as well as his colleges from the orchestra came here often enough that he was recognized and he wanted Harry to see that, hopefully that would make him behave somewhat. "Ta." He said cheerfully and took his cup. He walked over to the table Harry had picked and sat down, putting his bag on the chair to his right. "So?" He asked expectantly.

Stranger: (brb)

Stranger: (back^^

You: Harry glanced up as the blond entered and gave a heavy sigh at the production the man gave. He really hadn't changed, aside from the clothes. Though... they were fitting and not bad on the eyes at all. No, he couldn't think like that, he needed to focus. He gave the man a flat look before mumbling a charm so they couldn't be overheard. "So, I did what you asked." He stated flatly. "Now, its your turn. I need information on the current plans of some local DeathEaters. I know you've left that life behind but... Well, they may not know that."

Stranger: "I don't have any contact with them, nor do i know what they are up to." Draco told him simply and then had a sip of his coffee. "Besides, my reputation with them wasn't so good by the end of the war in any case so if you're asking me to become your spy you're out of luck." Draco said. He knew it wasn't what Harry wanted to hear but it was the truth. Harry could be angry if he liked.

You: "I know." Harry answered simply. "But that could change. It wouldn't be for long. I just need someone to get close enough to find out where they're holding prisoners." Harry explained. "I wouldn't be coming to you if this wasn't important." He pointed out. The statement was obvious. If what Harry was saying was true; he had practically ruined his career at the mere chance he /might/ get the information he needed. It was obvious that this was important to him; far more important than he was trying to let on.

Stranger: Draco leaned back in his seat, crossing his legs. "I don't know where they are harry." It was the first time he'd used his first name so maybe he'd listen this time. "If they saw me i doubt i'd get a warmer welcome then you. Some things happened by the end of the war that means i wouldn't be welcomed even if i tried."

You: "It doesn't matter!" Harry snapped as he slammed his fist on the table angrily, making a few of the customers glance there way. He seemed to notice his mistake and took a few deep breaths, running a hand through his messy locks. "Sorry..." He mumbled, glancing away and lowering his voice. "I can get you in. Provide them with information about me. They can have me! They won't pass up that chance. I just need that information! Please, Draco! You're the only chance I've got." He practically pleaded.

Stranger: Draco flinched, startled by the outburst. "They've taken someone." It wasn't even a question, Harry had mentioned prisoners and obviously this was someone close to Harry. "Who is it they have?"

You: Harry's jaw clenched at question, obviously considering not answering for a moment but eventually sighing. "Rose and Hugo Weasley." He grumbled between his clenched teeth. "Ron and Hermoine's children." He explained, glancing away, pain obvious in his dark gaze.

Stranger: Draco sighed deeply. "Well i certainly understand why you're so dead set on it." Draco mumbled, and yet it didn't make him any more willing to help him. His mother would be released, there was no stopping that now so Harry didn't have that dangling over his head anymore. He didn't have anything on Draco. "It's a big thing to ask of me harry, bigger then you even realize. Why should i help you?"

You: Harry sighed at that, scrubbing a hand down his face in exasperation. "I dunno, Malfoy; the goodness of that cold black heart of yours?" He shot back in annoyance. "Or maybe, because now you mother is in more danger than before. When she's released both sides are going to be looking for blood. I can protector her. Or you just want me gone... I don't plan on going anywhere until you help me Malfoy.... You thought I was annoying in school... I am so much worse now."

Stranger: "If i were you i'd be careful with insulting me." Draco said coldly, his mouth forming a thin line. "Do you even have a plan for this? I doubt it, i think you hoped you could just intimidate me and i'd have all the answers waiting on a platter for you. what is it exactly you want me to do?"

You: "Or what?" Harry responded with a glare before he gave another huff at the questions. "I do." He admitted. "I have an informant but he's practically useless. He's told me where I can find one of the hideouts but it doesn't do me much good. I can't just walk in and demand answers... But if someone were to get the better of me... tie me up and present me too them... perhaps an old rival... someone who had made it public their disdain for me... then they'd have an in... They could get the information needed and give it to someone that could do something about it... Like Hermoine." He explained, making it obvious that he didn't plan on surviving this.

Stranger: "That's the best you could come up with?" Draco frowned. "If i was them i'd simply kill you then and there, and then kill those kids as well for good measure." He huffed. "That's a fucking idiotic plan and i'm not putting myself through that risk, what's to say they wont kill me, or worse, the moment they've gotten rid of you? Who are these death eaters anyways?" He asked, of the ones who were left there wasnt a single one he'd imagine to have any mercy for ether of them.

You: "Do you think I would have come to you of all people if I had any sort of choice?!" He snapped. "Have you got a better idea?! Or are you just that content to let two innocent children die because you think you're so god damn better than everyone? What makes your life more important to theirs? Newsflash, Malfoy: No one's life is better than anyone else's. If it were I probably wouldn't have spared the time to go back for you all those years ago."

Stranger: "I dont think i'm better then anyone else but i can do simple math and two people dead, even children, is better the four people dead and i rather fancy sticking around for a bit longer even if you dont." Draco said. He took a sip of his forgotten coffee, luke warm at this point and then leaned forward. "

Stranger: (not done)

Stranger: "Dont be an idiot Harry, there must be a better option then this, who are they? Avery? Lestrange? Greyback- surely not...." he trailed off.

You: "I'm open to suggestions but if it comes down to my life or their's I'm risking it." Harry scoffed before his brows furrowed and he stared down at his coffee silently for a moment. "I dunno... I'd put my money on Lestrange... but I can't be sure. There just isn't enough information, thats one of the reasons I'm so desperate." He sighed in defeat.

Stranger: Draco sighed deeply, an attempt to calm himself, okay, so it might not be Greyback. "How were they taken?" Draco asked him quietly..

You: "Hermoine was on a business trip for the Headmistress, leaving the kids with Ron. They're fairly attached to their mother so he took them with him to visit his parents when they attacked. Mrs. Weasley managed to kill two of them but Arthur was injured and the children were taken before it was all over." He explained, still staring down at the white lid.

Stranger: "I'm sorry." Draco mumbled, it was awful if nothing else. "What has this informant told you about them? and well, who is the informant?"

You: Harry sighed, toying with the cup as he spoke. "Not much. He doesn't know who it was but there are only a few left that would have the balls to do this... His name is Henry. He mostly runs errands for them. He's mute so its not a if he can rat on them easily which also makes him ideal for an informant."

Stranger: "So how do you get information from him? do you know BSL?" He asked, that sure was a skill he hadnt expected harry to have although he supposed it wasnt too out of the realm of possibilities. "I want to meet him."

You: Harry nodded. "Hermoine taught me during our last year at Hogwarts." He acknowledged. "I'm passable at it." He shrugged. His gaze narrowed at the mention of meeting him however, brow arching. "Does that mean your willing to help?"

Stranger: "Yes. but i'm not going on any suicide missions, you'll have to do that on your own."

You: Harry gave a small snort of that, a large smile playing on his lips. "Deal." He chuckled, his whole face lighting with relief. He checked his watch briefly. "I know where he tends to hang out in about half an hour."

Stranger: "Right...." Draco said quietly. "Where is that?" He frowned, he didnt like how exited Harry got, it felt unnerving considering what it was they were discussing.

You: "He'll probably be dropping off the weekly portion of ale to Hogsmead." He explained with a shrug.

Stranger: "I'm sure it's not suspicious at all that you meet him here for your friday night date every week." Draco snorted.

You: Harry arched a brow obviously confused by that. "I don't meet him every week and I don't go as myself."

Stranger: "What ever you say. Fine, i'll come with you."

You: "Great! We should get going. I think I have some polyjuice left." He mumbled more to himself as he stood.

Stranger: "And do you also have hairs from two different people?" Draco asked. "It'll look odd if we both go as the same guy."

You: Harry chuckled at that. "I've got it covered, don't worry about it." He shrugged.

Stranger: Draco rolled his eyes, sighing deeply. "Stop looking so smug it doesnt suit you."

You: Harry's smile only widened at that, obviously in a far better mood than when he had first arrived. The relief of having Draco helping was almost palpable. He moved to get the door for the blond. "I will when you do." Harry retorted.

Stranger: "Except smugness does suit me." Draco told him and got up, hos coffee was cold anyways, no point in finishing it thoguh it was a shame, this little palace knew it's coffee.

You: "That is highly debatable." He teased as he waited for him. "Come to think of it, though I think I have the perfect disguise for you." He grinned, obviously up to something.

Stranger: "In that case i want the other one." Draco said tiredly, he wasn't at all a fan of Harry bouncing up and down grinning at him like that.

You: "It wouldn't make since for his regular meet up to suddenly forget BSL." He pointed out.

Stranger: "I know something better then BSL." Draco huffed.

You: "Oh, and what would that be?" Harry asked with an arched brow as the walked.

Stranger: "Legillimency." Draco said, following Harry out from the coffee shop, zipping up his jacket from the cold.

You: Harry pursed his lips at that, obviously unsure about it. "How long has it been since you've done something as complicated as Legilimency?" He asked. "You've been in the muggle world for some time now Draco."

Stranger: "It's not complicated once you learn it, if you have at least a little bit of the gift. I use it plenty. Especially since it's one of the few kings of magic i can reliably preform candles as i am."

You: Harry obviously wasn't too convinced. "No offense rather make sure." He replied. He had gone up against Legilimency enough that he was certain he could keep Draco from certain memories and thoughts that he didn't want the man to know. "We need to stop by my rooms to get the potion. If you don't mind you can use it on me first." He offered. "Its nothing against you I just don't want to loose an informant unnecessarily."

Stranger: "Suit yourself." Draco said, the insult stung a bit but it couldn't be helped, and if he got to take a peak in to Harry's mind he wouldn't pass up the chance. Though it did worry him what he might find there. that it might not be like anyone elses considering what his psyche had gone through.

You: Harry remembered the last time someone had tried using Legillimency on him. He had just applied to the ministry. The wizard who attempted it had just been looking for alterior motives but as they delved into some of Harry's more charished memories Harry grew defensive, throwing image after image of the deaths he had had to endure... Serius, Dumbledor, Fred, the ones he had killed himself as well... The guilt that came with. By the end of it the other wizard was collapsed in tears while Harry shed only a few, accustomed to the pain. If Draco decided to dig where he didn't belong Harry was prepared to do the same, though he hoped it would come to that... Then again it was possible Draco was a better wizard that the ministry had... honestly it was likely. When they were out of sight, Harry offered out his arm to the blond so that they could aparate. "Ready?" He asked calmly.

Stranger: "What ever." Draco muttered, taking his arm. He hated side allong appariton but he supposed taking the tube wasn't an option in this case. He hadnt been in the leaky cauldrun in years, when he said he'd turned his back on the wizarding world he had truly meant it and he dound he missed it far less then he had first expected.

You: Harry gave a small huff at the response and soon enough they appeared in his room. He shrugged off his coat, draping it over the back of a chair before moving to dig in the bag atop it for the small vials of potions.

Stranger: Draco sat down in a chair, willing his stomach not to turn inside out. "what am i goign to look like then once i drink that wretched shit?" He asked, if the apparating didn't do the trick he'd certainly puke from the potion.

You: "Well I was tempted to turn you into a woman I met on a corner once." He admitted with a straight face "But if you're going to be sour about it I've got a lawyer from Ireland." He admitted as he moved to set the potions down and produced a small bill fold with a few hairs inside, each bagged and labeled neatly. He didn't add them just yet, however. Instead he moved to sit on the edge of the bed, obviously wanting to test Draco first.

Stranger: "Ha ha. let's turn the pretty one in to a woman, he already looks like a girl anyways." Draco muttered sourly. He got up, pulled the chair in front of harry so he could sit in front of him. "Hide what you must." He told him, very clearly not amused by what Harry had said.

You: "I thought so, though I would argue you don't look like a girl." He countered with a shrug. He nodded as he closed his eyes, mostly hiding things that could be used against him. His thoughts towards Draco, memories he held fondly of the young blond who always picked on him. The pain... the death... the abuse his family inflicted on him. "Okay." He agreed, having prepared himself.

Stranger: "Look at me." Draco told him, leaning forward, resting his elbows on his knee's. Once Harry locked eyes with him he dove in whiteout warning. Draco was nothing like Severus, he didn't need to use brute force to extend his min to Harry, He came from a long line of legilimences after all and though he was by no mens a born natural he'd gotten good out of necessity.

You: Harry met his eyes but the closeness was suddenly very off putting causing him to flush. "Wait!" Harry rushed but it was too late his defenses had already faltered and Draco's conciousness was already weaving its way through his mind. He could feel his thoughts of the man come up... The way his new clothes hugged him just right, the way Draco smiling at his friend made Harry a bit too warm. He scrambled for defense, throwing the memory of Fred's death at him. It didn't seem to have too much affect and then a memory of the first time they met and Harry's immediate crush. This was so much easier when he didn't have a connection with the wizard performing the legilimency... But with Draco here, so close it was hard to avert his thoughts. He threw the memory of Serius dying. Then it was back to Draco and the panic Harry felt at the thought of the boy dying, Harry scrambling to save the boy he had been obsessed with for years. Harry began to throw everything at him at once, the war, his family, the kidnapping, everything he could think of to get Draco out of his head.

You: [I took a few liberties sorry. ^^; if you want me to rewrite it I can.]

Stranger: (N it¨s absolutely fine)

Stranger: Draco didn't have to do much other then wait and watch as Harry's stream of consciousnesses washed over him, the feelings, short snippets of conversation and Harry's feeble attempts to try to shock him with gruesome memories of grief and loss and death. Draco leaned back after he had seen what it really was he was interested in, the day in 6'th year when harry had come after him. He pulled out of his mind just as gently as he had entered though he held the eye contact. "I've seen some horrible shit too harry, you would have had better luck by actually using the techniques Severus taught you, even though i know you never listened to him." That was not something he'd seen from Harry's mind however, that little bit he'd learnt from Severus mind himself.

You: Harry glared at him, eyes a bit watery from tears that he was fighting back. So, his feeling for Draco were out in the open and all the other man could do was laugh at him. Typical. He gave a scoff at the words and stood, moving to the dresser where he had set the potions and opened them, dropping the last piece inside of each before offering the other out wordlessly. "I was a fool." He stated. "I couldn't see what Snape was until it was too late and will forever regret it." He admitted. "Drink. We should get going." he added just as somberly.

Stranger: Draco had felt the feelings harry had towards him, truth was once upon a time Draco would have returned them but he'd had that taken out of him quickly enough as soon as his aunt bella had figured it out. He wasn't even going to let himself dwell on it now. Draco frowned at harry. "What do you mean what Snape was?" He asked, he had a feeling Harry must have misunderstood everything.

You: Harry rolled his eyes. "Severus Snape was the best man I ever had the privilege of meeting... Had I known that back then... then I might have been inclined to listen a bit more. As it is... Well, I'm not the same person I was." He admitted. "Now, we should get going."

Stranger: "Sever was never the best anything." Draco said, what on earth could have made Harry think that.

You: Harry shot him another glare. "He's the reason you're still alive. I would show at least some respect." He grumbled.

Stranger: "Sure, that doesn't make him good." Draco said lowly. "it doesn't make him righteous or noble or anything worth celebrating."

You: Harry couldn't handle it any more. Something inside him snapped. "He killed Dumbledor for you, you twit." He snapped. "He helped the Order of the Pheonix rise against Voldemort multiple times. He /died/ to protect me, so I could defeat Voldemort! He protected both of us at the cost of his own life. If you want to show his memory disrespect do it on your own time but make damned sure I'm not around to hear it." He warned. "He is a hero. Which is much less than I can say for you." He scoffed. He knew he probably shouldn't be lecturing the man he needed help from but he just couldn't stand it... not anymore, not after such a clear rejection from the blond.

Stranger: "He did it to serve himself. He never even had enough of a spine to stand up for himself, or your mother, which... well lets not even fucking open that kan of worms. He was a coward, an absolutely vial man, driven by revenge and love - if you can even call it that - an obsession over someone who had been dead for over a decade. He groomed you, and me, to become what we did, just as much as Dumbledore did and don't you dare defending him as well." Draco hissed at him. "He never cared for you, he just couldn't bare shutting those eyes again, because they were /hers/ not becasue /you/ were worth anything."

You: Harry was practically fuming at the words. "What the hell do you know?! You've never looked at anything past yourself! That's all you've ever cared about!" He spat back. "Sure he wasn't perfect but he did his best. He did what was right all you ever did was follow whatever path was put in front of you; constantly handed everything while the rest of us had to work for all of it! You want to know what he's done for you? Use your Legilimency! See how wrong you are."

Stranger: Draco just stared at him for a moment. "You know what? I'm done here. Good luck getting those kids back." He said and got up, sippingh is jacket back up and then exited the room, hurrying downstairs and then out on to the street, stalking off towards the nearest tube station.

You: "Fine! It was a long shot anyways! I should have known you wouldn't do anything if you didn't get anything out of it!" He called after him just as the door slammed behind the blond. He sank down onto the bed in defeat, dropping his head into his hands completely lost as to what to do next.

Stranger: Draco was fuming his entire way home. The utter narcisism of Harry's actions, of how he was so sure he was right all the time, it irked Draco to no end. Why should he help him if all he was going to do was look down on Draco anyways. In many ways Severus might be more alike Harry then he thinks. It made him even more uncomfortable with the feelings Harry's memories had displayed. how attracted he was to Draco, how much he seemed to hate it with his entire being, pushing it away, out of mind.

You: It took a few hours for Harry to calm himself. By the time he did he was filled with regret. He had no idea what he was going to do now. He supposed he could find someone else to try and get information from Henry but... Well he didn't trust anyone. Still... He had pushed Draco away now... Still, he needed to apologize. Maybe if he went to one of his shows...

Stranger: Draco was preforming as part of a smaller orchestra for the opera the next week, it was the final repetition before the premier and as such students and such were welcome to buy cheap tickets to be able to watch the play. He was down in the orchestra ditch, facing the director, leading the piece as Ophelia descended in to her grave.

You: Harry spent the next week gathering as much information as possible on the group that took the children. They had made some progress but not much. However, only a day before Hermoine had received a letter, demanding Harry's death for the Children. Harry was more than willing but Draco's words kept echoing in his head. The kids weren't getting out alive no matter if he did or not. So, when the show came... Harry was there, bouquet in hands as the show finished.

Stranger: Draco had tried not to think too much about Harry, of course his heart when out to the children but it had been a long shot even by the best of circumstances, it hadn't been fair of Harry to demand his help in the first place. That was what he told himself. He'd taken off the tail-coat and was having a smoke just out the back with one of the performance in the opera. He was flirting with him and Draco tried his best not to notice it.

You: Harry approached the two, having sneaked past security, looking a bit nervous as he approached. He waited until he caught Draco's eye, not wanting to interrupt, before giving a small crooked smile and a small wave, flowers tucked in the crook of his arm.

Stranger: "What's this?" Draco asked him, trying to sound composed but failing miserably. The man who had playded the Horatio looked equally perplexed, especially becasue of Draco's reaction to the flowers, no doubt he'd thoguh it was for him first. Who would ever care enough to bring flowers to one of the orchestra?

You: Harry approached looking a bit bashful as he offered the flowers out to the blond. "I... saw your performance." He admitted lamely. "You're much better than I expected." He added before tensing as he realized how that sounded. "I mean! You were amazing! Not that I thought you'd be bad! I've just never really focused on... Well anything musical...." He rushed making things worse and flushing.

Stranger: "Mate, i think you're going to have to do better then that i'f you're trying to win him back?" THe bloke said. That mad Draco smile a bit, wasnt that the truth. He accepted the flowers however, what else was he supposed to do? "I think that's more to do with the fact that you've never been to an opera before. or a consert prior to last week." Draco said.

You: Harry flushed deeper at the other man's words and glanced away though he gave a small snort at Draco's. "Is it that obvious?" He mumbled. "Listen... I'm sorry for the way I acted. I was emotional and stupid. What can I do to make it up to you?" He asked softly.

Stranger: "I dont know, I've never ever done anything that wasnt in my own best interest so i'm not really sure what could make me more sympathetic towards you." Draco said coldly. He heard a whistle from the other guy. "I'll leave you to it, seems you need a talk." He said, patting Draco's shoulder before disaearign back inside.

You: Harry straightened a bit at that. "Fair dis..." He acknowledged with a nod. "I deserved that." He acknowledge. "But to be fair... You do like proving me wrong." He countered with a small smile. "Maybe you could do it this time as well?"

Stranger: "I really don't think i could help you with those kids harry. I saw the article, Greyback and lestrange has them and if ether of them ever saw me again they'd kill me... only first they'd torture me... among other things."

You: Harry bit his bottom lip and nodded. "I know." He nodded. "They're calling for my head." He admitted with a shrug. "Not surprising but you've kinda made me want to keep it where its at." He admitted with a humorless chuckle. "I thought... that maybe... you wouldn't try that skill of your's on Henry?" He asked. "Its a long shot but its the only one I have. If you're still willing, that is... I don't really trust anyone else." He admitted, staring at his feet as he rocked back and forth.

Stranger: "That was to find out who was doing this, i'm not sure what else i could get out of him that you couldn't with sign language." He explained. "I'm not an auror, really you should put together a team, make up a plan and tryto extract them... i think that would be yor best shot."

You: Harry gave another somber nod. "Right." He mumbled softly, shoulders slumping slightly. "Well... Thank you, anyways." He offered with a soft sad smile. "I appreciate you trying." He added before turning to go.

Stranger: "You're also shit at flirting." Draco heard himself saying as Harry turned around. He just needed to get that out there.

You: Harry paused at that, silent for a moment before he began chuckling. "Fair enough. But you were always out of my league anyways, so whats the point of trying?" He countered with a shrug.

Stranger: "RIght, well in that case you can go." Draco mumbled, looking down at the flowers and tossing them in the dumpster, along with the butt of his fag.

You: Harry visibly flinched as the flowers were tossed aside. That stung. "If you didn't like the flowers you could have just said so." He countered with a sigh. "Would I have had a chance anyways?" He asked, gaze curious, obviously worried about how Draco would answer.

Stranger: "What would be the point now?" Draco asked bluntly. "Besides, you dont seem to like me, or have ever liked me. you just think i'm pretty."

You: Harry seemed a bit confused at that. "You're joking right?" He scoffed, he waited a moment before rolling his eyes. "You really are dense. I've never just thought of you as just attractive." He huffed, heart beginning to race, the words coming out a bit forceful as his adrenalin picked up. "Please! You're smart, funny, witty, you demand respect from everyone, your talented and know it... You're practically fearless... You go after whatever you want at the time and don't let anyone hold you back. Sure you're pretty... But if that's all you think you are... all you think I see... Then maybe... Well, maybe you're not as smart as I thought." He huffed, arms folded over his chest as he glanced away. "Or you're just fishing for a bloody compliment and I'm stupid enough to bite."

Stranger: "You think i'm egotistical, heartless and mean." Draco said firmly. "You've said as much, and thought it, multiple times. i've been inside that head of yours. You're pulled between those two, frustration and anger that i dont do what you want me to do and then then you drool over wanting me, trying ot push those thoughts away and failing.

You: Harry scrubbed a hand down his face and frustration. "You didn't pay much attention while you were in there then." He scoffed. "Yeah... I tell myself those thing... That your heartless... think of no one but yourself... A right arse. And sometime..." He sighed, holding himself a bit tighter. "Sometimes I manage to convince myself that their true... But only for a moment." He admitted looking a bit ashamed. "I do try not to think of you the way I do because... Well... Because I'm weak okay!" He spat angrily. Why was his defense mechanism anger? "Because if I allow myself to grow attached to anyone they die! Or they run! Everyone who gets close to me is in danger! Everyone who has died is because of me! I might as well have killed them with my own hands! So yeah, I try to convince myself that you're a horrible human being to protect myself because in realty I'm the monster, just like you said." The last words were a soft pained whisper as he couldn't bring himself to meet Draco's gaze. "Happy now?"

Stranger: Draco shook his head. "We don't know each other, why do you pretend like we do? It's been 6 years since the war, i don't know the first thing about you, and you dont know the first thing about me. What ever feelings you had towards me back in school don't really apply.... I don't think i could be more different from back then if i tried. You make me feel like i haven't grown at all."

Stranger: (brb)

You: Harry's jaw set at that and he nodded. He was silent for a long moment as if fighting with himself. "Fine." He acknowledged. "Maybe we don't....But... I'd like to." He shrugged. "Would you at least let me buy you a drink?" He asked, "Maybe dinner... If I don't piss you off too badly." What did he have to lose....

Stranger: "A drink. fine..." Draco mumbled. "But dont you have some kids to save first?" Draco asked. "I think i'm going to take up mr horatio's offer for tonight." He said though he instantly regretted it. He did always have to come out on top, often to the deprimerat of his relationship to others.

You: "Mr. Horaito?" Harry mumbled piecing together what he meant a bit slowly. He nodded. He was jealous sure but now wasn't the time to do anything about it. "Right. Well, like you said... I'll need a team and I won't be able to get one together until tomorrow." He pointed out, knowing his ties with the ministry had been cut because of the press conference but hoping Draco wasn't aware of it. "So tonight, I suppose I'll simply have the opportunity of enjoying your company... Maybe you can tell me how you became so talent?" He offered.

Stranger: (Oh no i think you misunderstood, i meant that draco implied he would hook up with the actor who played horatio)

You: [No I got it. No worries, I suppose I should have been more clear srry.] *"Mr. Horatio?" Harry mumbled, before the realization hit him, of course Draco wanted to have dinner with the man he had been speaking to.He was jealous sure but now wasn't the time to do anything about it. "Right. Well, like you said... I'll need a team and I won't be able to get one together until tomorrow." He pointed out, knowing his ties with the ministry had been cut because of the press conference but hoping Draco wasn't aware of it. "So tonight, I suppose I'll simply have the opportunity of enjoying your company... Maybe you can tell me how you became so talent?" He offered.

Stranger: "I practiced allot." Draco said flatly. "There isn't really a grand story to it. Allot of practice and being at the right place at the right time... Sleeping with the right person didn't hurt ether." He gave a slight smile. "Harry, I'm not going to hang out with you all night...."

You: Harry gave a huff of feigned amusement at the joke. "Yes, Draco; I am aware. But you said yes to a drink and I count that as a win. No take backs. I've just better make sure its a really long one so you don't run off on me as quickly as I expect you'll want to." He teased.

Stranger: "I said a drink. not tonight unless you'd like to listen to him." Draco nodded back towards the door, meaning the bloke from earlier. "Doing a much better job of flirting."

You: Harry's face fell a bit at that. "Right... Sorry." He mumbled a bit dejected. "Well... for what its worth. I hope you have a nice night." Harry replied, with another sad smile. "Don't have too much fun without me." He teased, though the words seemed a bit more sad than usual.

Stranger: "We'll see." Draco mumbled, that was really all up to the other guy. "Send me an owl once this mess has blown over, whichever way it goes." He mumbled. "You should owl my mother too, she wants to thank you."

You: "Right. Will do." He nodded, knowing he probably wouldn't. "I'll see you around, yeah?"

Stranger: "Yeah." Draco sighed. "Talk care Harry." He murmured softly and then went back inside to the backstage aria.

You: It was two days before the news came. Apparently Harry went on the suicide mission after all, though this time, he simply gave himself to Lestrange rather than try any disguises. The news was everywhere he was either presumed dead or soon to be.

Stranger: Draco was saddened by the news but he still felt glade he hadnt taken that drink with harry, it would have made it all that much harder to bear. In any case he was bussy a it was, trying to take care of his mother nad nurse her back to health. SHe'd taken better to Azkaban wthen anyone could have hoped and she wasnt nearly as crazy as the time she had served would suggest.

You: The rest of the world seemed to mourn for a few days before the news blew over. It was another few weeks before Harry managed to get out. Lestrange was dead and the children were alive though a bit battered... Harry however, was in a bad way. Somehow they managed to keep the news quiet which was surprising and despite the ministries

You: ' orders Harry just managed to sneak out or his confinements just in time for one of Draco's shows... flowers in hand.

Stranger: Draco made his first preformance as a soloist, for the first time all the focus was on him as he set the melody for the show. He'd been so nervous he could barely eat or sit down all day, something which wasn't helped by the fact that he had his mother in the crowd, front row in fact, he could see her from where he sat, playing his theremin.

You: Harry made sure he was in the back, close to an exit, making sure he couldn't be seen. He'd wait until the end of the show before sneaking back stage. Regardless, he was blown away by the preformence. He knew Draco was talented but just how talented was something he hadn't expected.

Stranger: Every tone was on point, every vibrato, Draco did the best show of his life and at the end of it as the orchestra took their praise he walked down the front steps, Wrapping his arms rightly around his mother. She was crying pressing a kiss to his forehead and then a rose in to his hand. He lead her back stage, as the applause still shook the hall, wanting to show her what his life was like now.

You: Harry made his way back stage just as they finished, waiting my Draco's dressing room, head bowed. He was certain that no one there knew who he was but the world though he was dead and he needed to keep it that way. Still he held the flowers loosely in the crook of his arm, chocolates in the other.

Stranger: Draco opened the door to the dressing room which was asigned to him for the night and stopped dead in his tracks when he saw him, a ghost, a bloody ghost in the flesh. His mother peaked over his shoulder, seeinng who it was and she gasped. "Harry potter." as if she didnt even understood what the words meant)

[sand-rose]

Right back at you for all the ocs! I especially love the name apocothea (I think I spelled it right?) Its super cool!!

Thank you so much!! :) Sorry this took awhile to answer, I’ve been busy with work and other stuff. But here they are! I was actually in the process of redesigning my OCs when I saw the post (thanks to Sims inspiration and wanting to update how I draw them), so it was perfect timing! I don’t have the drawings done yet but maybe soon…

Full Name: Pandora

Gender & Sexuality: Female, Pansexual (yes, punny, but also serious)

Pronouns: She/Her

Ethnicity/Species: my Balanced Ego

Birthplace & Birthdate: my mind, August 10

Guilty Pleasures: She loves taking bubble baths. Bring on the bath bombs and fragrant soaps, and the (pink) rubber ducky is a must! She also loves stuffed animals (especially pandas). And it surprises a lot of people, but she’s also an avid fan of anime/manga and video games.

Phobias: Accidentally losing one of her earrings, which keep her balanced. She’s particularly afraid of what she might do if this happens, because she loses control of herself and becomes truly evil. A past experience in regards to this also makes her uncomfortable around sheep. (Even toys or drawings of sheep. She will get a flashback and start sobbing, apologizing to the ‘poor sheepies’ until they’re out of sight.)

What They Would Be Famous For: Probably owning the only fashion-themed amusement park in the Ego World, or her fashion designs.

What They Would Get Arrested For: Being a public nuisance, like getting too hyper and making too much noise. Because honestly, if someone told her to shut up she would only get louder to spite them. She’s not afraid to get in a fight though, so maybe that too… Maybe for throwing a heel at someone. lol

OC You Ship Them With: Reim. He’s much calmer than her, but loves her crazy antics.

OC Most Likely To Murder Them: It. He gets along with Pan better than Aurora, but he can only take so much of her 'hyper hyper happy happy joy joy’ personality.

Favorite Movie/Book Genre: romance and rom-coms. The blossoming love between two people! The heartbreaking 'is this it?’ fights! The oblivious misunderstandings! Burnt dinners! The hand holding, the hugs, the kisses…! (You get it.)  

Least Favorite Movie/Book Cliche: When everything turns out to be a dream. Her Host loves this cliche. She hates it because 'what was the point of it all if it never really happened?!’

Talents and/or Powers: She’s a talented fashion designer. She likes to draw, like her Host, but when she became interested in clothes when she was younger she was frustrated that she couldn’t wear the clothes she drew. So she learned how to sew and began making her own clothes. She’s also very imaginative and ambitious.

Why Someone Might Love Them: She’s fun to be around, always a bouncing ball of energy! She likes pretty things, and considers everyone around her to be pretty in their own way. She’s the person who will convince you to try that new thing, or who will say 'Let’s go somewhere, my treat!’ when she sees you need cheering up. She’s also ready to kick ass if anyone dares hurt her friends or loved ones.

Why Someone Might Hate Them: She’s so hyper… Some people might find her hyperness endearing, but some people find it exhausting. She’s also had people judge her before based on her girly-ness, interest in fashion, and how she looks like a typical anime girl, but she doesn’t let it bother her.  

How They Change: She hasn’t changed all that much since I first created her back in middle school. She’s grown a lot more mature emotionally, I think, and she’s more careful about other people’s feelings.

Why You Love Them: She was the last of my Egos to be created, and she’s probably the best representation of who I wish I was. She’s daring, outspoken, bubbly, made a career for herself doing something she loves… I love her because even though that’s not me and probably never will be me, I still like to think that she’s cheering me on. “Don’t be afraid! You can do it!” lol  

Full Name: It

Gender & Sexuality: Male, not sure (he’s never given it much thought)

Pronouns: He/Him

Ethnicity/Species: my Alter Ego

Birthplace & Birthdate: my mind, October 31

Guilty Pleasures: He has a collection of weird t-shirts that he’s both bought and designed himself. He also has a collection of light sabers that he may or may not have bought off the Ego World’s black market that trades in Other World (Worlds of Licensed Series) objects…

Phobias: Becoming a soft goody two-shoes like Aurora… Gag.

What They Would Be Famous For: Nothing. He’s too lazy to really stand out much. And he’s fine with that.

What They Would Get Arrested For: Disrupting the peace. He’s got a temper, and when it flares he’s liable to kick/hit any object unlucky enough to be in his way. Be it a trash can, car, mailbox… He’s broken his toes for kicking a brick wall before. He’s also got problems with authority figures since he doesn’t like being told what to do, so if the police show up it would just escalate the situation. There was also the time he bombed Aurora’s house, but that was years ago, when he was jealous he wasn’t my only Ego anymore. He was a lot more evil back then, and Aurora (being the kind soul she is and understanding how he felt) didn’t press charges.

OC You Ship Them With: Apocothea. She keeps him in check and doesn’t put up with his crap, yet somehow sees the… best… in him…?

OC Most Likely To Murder Them: Pandora. She gets fed up with his gloomy outlook on life and gets cranky when he gives her attitude. They get into lots of arguments over nothing, especially with their quick tempers.

Favorite Movie/Book Genre: Horror/Suspense. He likes movies with lots of jumpscares, gore, and freaky nightmarish scenarios. They get his blood pumping and while he’s not that evil enough to enjoy people getting hurt, he likes to think about what he would do if he was trapped in that house trying to escape the serial killer. And of course, though he’s not a clown or even named after said clown, he likes Stephen King novels.

Least Favorite Movie/Book Cliche: It was love at first sight. He doesn’t believe in it, and if he sees that cliche he skips a few minutes past it or turns a few pages ahead, hopefully to a less mushy scene.

Talents and/or Powers: He’s great at video games. He actually earns money by playing video games for people who get stuck on them. They send him the game, he plays past the part they got stuck on to the next save, he sends it back. He’s been debating lately if he should start livestreaming, but his laziness in acquiring the equipment and setting up a room for it is currently holding him back.

Why Someone Might Love Them: He’s… It. lol He’s an Alter Ego who by all means should be trying to take over the world and plotting evil deeds, but either due to his laziness or from the influence of those closest to him, he just isn’t that into it. He’s just a cranky man that loves to kick over trash cans in my Sims game. lol

Why Someone Might Hate Them: He rubs a lot of people the wrong way, and with good reason. He’s not very social not because he’s shy but because he hates people in general. He comes off as rude when you first meet him, and he likes to glare for no reason. (He probably thinks it makes him look tough.) Honestly it’s a wonder people like him.

How They Change: He’s changed quite a bit since I first created him in middle school! He’s probably the most changed of all my OCs. At first he started out as a wolf demon, but after a few weeks he became my Alter Ego in a human form and stayed that way. He still has fangs, they’re just smaller. They serve no purpose, he just looks good with them! He’s also not as evil as he used to be, but like I said, I like to think that Pan and Aurora are a good influence on him.

Why You Love Them: He was my very first Ego! Way back in 6th grade I used to write and draw my own stories and share them with friends, and he got a pretty good response from them and they wanted to hear more about him. I wrote conversations between me (the Host) and him during free time in class and my friends loved reading them, and it kind of took off from there. Aurora was created next, then Pandora, and even though they were fictional characters I’d made up they started to feel like a second family to me. And they still do! lol

Full Name: Aurora

Gender & Sexuality: Female, Straight

Pronouns: She/Her

Ethnicity/Species: my Good Ego

Birthplace & Birthdate: my mind, February 23

Guilty Pleasures: She likes knitting and has so much yarn she doesn’t know what to do with it. She spoils her cat Cupcake with so many toys she doesn’t know what to do with them all. She has so many recipe books she doesn’t know what to do with them all. She’s actually a very neat person though, so another guilty pleasure would probably be cleaning. lol

Phobias: Heights, needles, and spiders (like her Host). I feel bad she shares my phobias. (Sorry, Aurora!) She’s also afraid of sharks, ever since she watched Jaws years ago and had nightmares for a week about them. She knows it's not good to be afraid of sharks and they get a bad rep, so she's trying to overcome that fear.

What They Would Be Famous For: Her cookies! She owns a bakery and while her cakes, brownies, and cupcakes are delicious, it’s her cookies that rake in the most dough. (Ha.) Every customer has their favorite, but hers is her creamy peanut butter cookies. They’re so soft and chewy, and she sprinkles peanut bits in so there’s a little crunch too!

What They Would Get Arrested For: The day Aurora gets arrested for anything is the day the world ends. She’s too pure, too innocent, to do anything resulting in arrest. She apologizes to insects when she has to capture them before setting them free! She gives away too many free samples at her bakery! She cries when she accidentally forgets to water a plant and it dies! If she ever gets arrested for anything, Pan and It may legit seek revenge to restore her honor…

OC You Ship Them With: Marcus. He’s sweet, she’s sweet! Their relationship might be normal and therefore a little boring to some people, but they love each other and are happy just to be together. They’re like an old married couple. lol

OC Most Likely To Murder Them: Not a single soul. Not even It. (Anymore.) She’s too kind for this world. An angel!

Favorite Movie/Book Genre: Generally anything except horror and war movies. She gets too nervous and scared watching horror, and gets too emotional watching battles with people fighting and dying. She tends to like comedies the most though, since they’re usually upbeat and make her laugh. She’s also a sucker for heartwarming stories. Those Chicken Soup for the Soul books? She’s probably got the whole collection, regardless of the intended audience.

Least Favorite Movie/Book Cliche: 'I had to do it. I had to kill them.’ She refuses to believe that killing is the only option no matter how dire a situation might be and will visibly get upset when she comes across this cliche. When she gets upset her face reddens and her lip wobbles, and if Marcus or Pan is with her she might rant to them about all the other options the protagonist had.

Talents and/or Powers: She is excellent at cooking, but baking is her specialty! If she’s mastered a recipe, she’ll master it again until it’s even better. And if she finds a new recipe, she will pull an all-nighter until she’s perfected it.

Why Someone Might Love Them: She’s such a sweetheart, bless her. She’s what the world needs more of: just honestly pure, good people. She’s the person who if she came across someone in need, she would give them everything she had. If you’re feeling down, she’ll do all she can to make you happy again. She’s definitely the mom friend.

Why Someone Might Hate Them: Some might consider her too good. Like It. He gets annoyed when she does things out of the kindness of her heart for no reason. He just doesn’t understand how someone can be that selfless. He thinks of her as a crybaby and she worries a lot, so that irritates him too. And others might be suspicious of her at first, wondering what she’s hiding or what she wants. But once people get to know her, they adore her and look to her for advice if they need help. Or just want free food. lol

How They Change: She’s probably the one who has changed the least. She’s always been the angel on my shoulder, the do-gooder. Someone has to keep the peace with the other two Egos around, after all.

Why You Love Them: Aurora is the one who resembles me the most, both in terms of looks and personality. There are some differences, though. She’s not shy, just quiet and reserved. She’s more comfortable with confrontations than I am, especially if it’s a matter of right vs wrong. I don’t have a problem with horror and war stuff. I wish I knew how to cook/bake. And I don’t think I could ever be as selfless as her. Basically, she’s a goody goody two-shoes, like It says. But it’s not a bad thing!

Full Name: Reim

Gender & Sexuality: Male, Bisexual

Pronouns: He/Him

Ethnicity/Species: Ego Entity

Birthplace & Birthdate: Ego World (specifically the city Venia), April 14

Guilty Pleasures: talking to his plants, liking movies that everyone else hates, singing in the shower, and he also enjoys the occasional bubble bath (thanks to Pan convincing him he was missing out on life if he didn’t take one now and then) (she was right)

Phobias: Moths. When he was little a big one got caught in his hair and he accidentally smashed it trying to get it out. It was messy and gross.

What They Would Be Famous For: Hopefully for his paintings! He does all kinds of paintings, and has even had a few displayed in art shows. He likes doing landscape art the best, because he loves plants and nature.

What They Would Get Arrested For: Not that he’s looking to get arrested, but he’s secretly always wanted to experiment with graffiti…

OC You Ship Them With: Pandora. Just when he thinks he knows her, she surprises him and he loves it! She makes him see how exciting and fun life is, and she’s always encouraging him with his latest art project and boasting about his paintings to her friends.

OC Most Likely To Murder Them: Probably It. It and Reim don’t see eye to eye a lot… Reim’s pretty optimistic, and that clashes with It’s pessimism. They don’t exactly hate each other, but they get on each other’s nerves. “You threw off my groove!” “Fuck your groove!” Yatta yatta…

Favorite Movie/Book Genre: He loves animated movies. As an artist, he really appreciates them and considers them art, so he’s constantly rewinding scenes because he was focusing on the style or shading instead of what was going on. As for books, he likes fantasy. He likes escaping to another world, and fantasy can be anything and everything, just like a painting.

Least Favorite Movie/Book Cliche: Not really a typical cliche but… He really hates noir style stuff. Noir movies annoy him to no end because there’s no color and he wishes he could restore the color so bad. He needs color! And when people talk noir style, with the witty and flirtatious old-fashioned banter. It’s just so cheesy to him… This extends to books as well. He prefers deep conversations between characters rather than quick one-liners.

Talents and/or Powers: He’s an artist, so he’s well-rounded in a variety of mediums. Painting, drawing, sculptures, photography… He enjoys painting the most though!

Why Someone Might Love Them: He’s a down-to-earth guy that has his goals set and has a plan to achieve them. He knows what he wants in life and he also knows not to get his hopes up. He does hope his dreams come true, but if not he’s got plenty of back up plans. He’s just a nice guy in general, always ready to lift the mood with a joke or a grin.

Why Someone Might Hate Them: For people like It, optimistic people can be annoying. No matter the situation, Reim looks on the bright side of things and his pleasant attitude and charming smile can make It angry. Because life sucks, and It knows it, but apparently Reim doesn’t. Reim’s not optimistic all the time, however, and he does have days where he’s a little moody or depressed, but he tends to keep to himself those days (so of course It doesn’t know that).

How They Change: Reim started out as a painting I did my senior year, so I thought it fitting to give him the painter career in my Sims game. Until that point I didn’t know much about him but watching him interact with my other characters has helped me flesh out what kind of person he is. He looked more emo and brooding in the painting, but in Sims he’s a cheerful guy who enjoys life, so I like that change in him.

Why You Love Them: He’s the character I didn’t know was going to be created. But I’m glad I did that painting of him years ago! Before I made him in Sims, I wanted to do more with his character and knew I wanted him with Pandora, but that was about it. Originally Pan was with someone else from an Other World, and for reasons it didn’t work out, but I think she and Reim are a perfect match. They balance each other out.

Full Name: Apocothea

Gender & Sexuality: Female, Demisexual

Pronouns: She/Her

Ethnicity/Species: Ego Entity

Birthplace & Birthdate: Ego World (specifically outside the town Abraxxus), November 2

Guilty Pleasures: Obsessed with Itachi from Naruto, so she has a collection of Itachi merchandise that shouldn’t even exist (her father knows people). She loves anime/manga and video games, and rock/heavy metal music. She also enjoys fan fiction (smut included, but she is picky about it).  

Phobias: This woman has no fear. You should be the one afraid.

What They Would Be Famous For: Not exactly famous, but her old classmates still remember the day the teacher was late and Apocothea calmly walked up to the front of the class and announced the teacher had been in a horrible accident and she was in charge now. She spoke with such authority that no one questioned her, and she proceeded to pass out copies of the 'worst fan fiction she had ever read’ for them to read and critique. It turned out that the teacher had been in a car accident (from speeding), and when the principal delivered the news everyone turned to her in fear. Of course she hadn’t really known… She just saw an opportunity and took it. She needed beta readers for her first fic, after all.

What They Would Get Arrested For: She’s too clever to get herself arrested. Anyone who leaves fingerprints and DNA samples is a Class-A moron. But if she did get arrested, somehow, it would probably be for making the police officer feel like an idiot. Or she would just ignore them and do the opposite of what they ordered her to do out of pure spite. Challenging authority and whatnot.

OC You Ship Them With: It. She wins all the arguments, basically, but they’re stupid arguments to begin with. They bicker back and forth, but it’s from love(?). I don’t know… Their relationship is kind of hard to explain. lol There’s not a lot of typical romance between them, but they do have their moments that say 'Yeah, they’re a couple alright!’

OC Most Likely To Murder Them: Nobody’s brave enough to even try murdering her. She’d murder them first.

Favorite Movie/Book Genre: Like It, she enjoys horror. Except where he’s the guy to think 'what would I do if I was trapped in a house with a serial killer?’, she’s the girl who thinks, 'If I was the serial killer, I’d go after them this way… That guy’s an asshole, anyway.’ She also likes murder mystery novels, but she’s always disappointed when she figures out who the killer is halfway through the book.

Least Favorite Movie/Book Cliche: 'The chosen one will save us!’ She doesn’t buy into the whole 'only this person can do it’ trope. Really? Only that person? But he’s an idiot. What if he dies? Then what? Guess the world ends.

Talents and/or Powers: I guess you could say her skill at Guitar Hero is a talent. She’s undefeated with all the Guitar Hero games (every mode, even expert). Other than that, she’s very talented at pretty much anything and everything, but especially at making people feel uncomfortable and fragile in her presence.

Why Someone Might Love Them: If you can get past her intimidating exterior, she’s a pretty cool gal. She’s kind of like Hana-chan from Fruits Basket… The things she says can come off as strange and threatening, but if you become her friend she would quite literally kill for you. She also has a younger sister named Analyse, and you can definitely tell they’re sisters from the way they look and talk.

Why Someone Might Hate Them: She’s very blunt, and if she doesn’t like you she won’t hold back on insults. Lots of people get offended when she does this, but that’s kind of the point. She can also be crafty in the way she talks to people, so sometimes they’re really not sure if she’s insulting them or complimenting them.  

How They Change: She’s changed just a little since I created her. Her relationship with It before was very one-sided, and she liked toying with him. She still likes to, actually, but it’s more affectionate now. She’s always been confident and in charge, but I think being with It has taught her that a relationship requires more teamwork and less blackmail.

Why You Love Them: Again, she’s one of those characters that displays traits I wish I had. She’s not afraid to be assertive, she loves herself for who she is, and doesn’t give a damn what other people think of her. And she gives off this vibe, like you really don’t want to trust that smile she’s wearing. Her calm but menacing demeanor really compliments It’s personality too, I think. He’s fire, she’s ice!

Full Name: Marcus

Gender & Sexuality: Male, Straight

Pronouns: He/Him

Ethnicity/Species: Ego Entity

Birthplace & Birthdate: Ego World (specifically a suburban area named Hannen), March 27

Guilty Pleasures: watching YouTube/EgoTube videos, memes, taking internet quizzes… And surprising Aurora on a regular basis with flowers and chocolate like the romantic sap he is!

Phobias: Puking and cuts on the skin. When he’s sick he gets very agitated and nervous and will refuse to eat solid food in case he can’t keep it down. (Soup and water only, basically.) With cuts, it’s not the blood he fears but the sensation of skin splitting. It stems from when he was a teenager and got a deep cut on his knee. Little nicks while shaving are no biggie, but papercuts make him lightheaded and make his skin crawl.

What They Would Be Famous For: He’s a very relaxed guy who honestly doesn’t stand out much, but his friends know him as the tech guy. Computer or game console acting up? Marcus knows how to fix it. TV or phone bugging out? Call Marcus, he’s your guy.

What They Would Get Arrested For: Like Aurora, he would never get arrested for anything. He’s too nice to do anything like property damage or fighting, and he’s never gotten a ticket for anything in his life.

OC You Ship Them With: Aurora. They’re so precious together, too good, too sweet! They dote on each other and probably unintentionally make other couples jealous. lol

OC Most Likely To Murder Them: It. Another goody goody two-shoes frustrates him even more than one. The only thing It appreciates about Marcus is that he’s not above using swear words (unlike Aurora). And maybe the fact that he’s willing to fix It’s laptop and game systems for free.

Favorite Movie/Book Genre: He really likes documentaries and informational books. He’s always interested in learning something new, and he’d much rather watch an hour-long documentary on EBS than watch the newest hit movie. He was the kid in school who always read the assigned Literature, Real World History & Ego World History, and Science books for fun.

Least Favorite Movie/Book Cliche: He doesn’t like when a side character you grew attached to suddenly dies. They make you care about them, only to kill them off! What the hell?

Talents and/or Powers: Talented with fixing all things tech. He does claim it’s his superpower! lol

Why Someone Might Love Them: When you find a genuinely nice guy who cares a lot about you, you struck gold! Aurora loves his soft, sensitive side when he’s alone with her and also loves his corny jokes. People in general like how laid back he is, as he’s very patient and knows everybody makes mistakes. He’s the guy who will walk an old lady across the street if she needs help, the guy who literally climbed a tree to get a cat out of it (sneaky little Cupcake!). Nice guys do exist, and he’s one of the best!

Why Someone Might Hate Them: Again… There’s people like It. They get annoyed with the whole 'nice guy act’, especially once they learn it’s not an act at all but just how he is. They might get jealous when they see how much other people like him, but more often than not they come around, especially after he helps them with something and expects nothing in return.

How They Change: His character hasn’t changed much, either. He’s thoughtful, kind, cheerful… He’s popular with everyone he hangs out with, because he gets along with pretty much everyone. He’s polite, open to new things and opinions, and though he admits he might be a little boring to be around he also doesn’t mind. Such a great guy!

Why You Love Them: He and Aurora are a pair of cinnamon rolls, too sweet, too pure for this world! Even though I created him long before I met Alex, he reminds me of him. lol Marcus is the perfect example for how you should treat your loved ones, and anyone you meet, really. He’s like the Mr. Rogers of the gang, I guess you could say. He just wants everybody to respect each other and be kind to themselves and others.

Sorry if this got super long, I just really love these characters. lol Also! When I was reading your OC post I found it really cool that some of our characters have birthdays either on the same day or really close, that made me smile! :D

Thanks so much for the ask again!!

[walkerduchess]

A Game of Hearts - Chapter One: Unveiled (The Royal Romance AU)

Pairing: Drake x MC [Liam x MC]

Notes: Firstly, thanks to everyone who read the prologue and left lovely comments! This is chapter one to my TRR AU series, A Game of Hearts. Apparently I can’t write in a linear timeline so this story will contain a lot of flashbacks throughout the chapters. Again, english is not my native language so I apologize if there’s any mistakes, and I would love to know what you think!

I do not own these characters, they belong to Pixelberry. 

Summary: Princess Sapphire struggles in her heart as she takes the next step towards fulfilling her duty to the kingdom. A dark secret threatens to be revealed in the castle.

Content Warning: Mentions of blood and death.

Word Count: 2993

Tagging: I only tag people who explicitly ask me to. If you want in or out the list just speak up!  @confessionsofabrokegirl, @museofbooks, @stopforamoment, @scarlettedragon

Prologue: Promised

Chapter One: Unveiled

Sophie sits in the dresser inside her chambers staring at the mirror, ink on her fingers, eyes narrowed.

“Does it look symmetrical?” she asks, examining both sides of her face in the mirror, trying to find imperfections on the golden pattern she drew right beneath her eyes.  

“Does it matter?” her cousin snaps back.

“Max…” the princess sighs, controlling her irritation “you know you can tell me what’s wrong instead of taking it out on me.” She turns around and looks at his cousin, sitted in her settee.

“I’m sorry, I’m just… tired of all this, I think.” He motions to his own painted face and formal clothes.

“What?” the young woman brings her hand to her chest in mock surprise “Are you telling me Lord Maxwell is tired of parties?” She jokes, but in reality she‘s worried about him. Ever since his parents died and his brother became the representant of his family in the council of holders, he’s out of place. The joyful boy, her best friend, has been quieter than ever in the last months, and nothing she would do or say seems to help.

“It’s not about the festivities, it’s about the protocols, celebrations and everything else we do here like war isn’t unfolding right outside our door for the past century.” Max’s balls his fists as he tries to contain his anger.

Sophie closes her eyes and takes a deep breath. She really doesn’t want to argue with him about this. Not today.

“I’m sorry Sophie. I didn’t intend to darken the mood on your birthday.” He forces a smile “Your face is magnificent, as always.” His tone has gone back to normal, cheerful. Although the smile he wears doesn’t quite reach his eyes. “So, you’re 21. Does that mean you’ll finally get introduced to the people?”

“No.” She replies, resent in her voice. “The king thinks it’s wise to keep me unseen until I’m married. Today only means I’ll get formally engaged.”

“What?” Max’s voice reaches a high pitch. “Why didn’t I know about this?”

“Because it changes nothing. I’ve been betrothed all my life, remember?” She looks up at him, annoying look in her eyes.

“Not this, I mean” Max started, “are people supposed to meet you only when you’re their queen?” The crease between his brows appears again, making his dissatisfaction obvious.

“I don’t agree with this as much as I don’t agree with this war.” Her eyes turned serious “But I am powerless for now, and it’s not like I can stage a riot here, not now that there’s this new evil queen in the south.”

“Well” the young man recomposes himself, standing up from the settee, “we can dwell on never-ending wars and evil queens in another time. For now,” he walks to stand behind the princess, resting his hands on her shoulders and locking eyes with her through the mirror in front of them “we have an engagement to attend to.”

The girl nods at him before closing her eyes and taking a long breath.

-

As she is escorted from her chambers, Sophie can’t fathom her own nervousness. She is betrothed to Liam since she can remember. This is only a formality, after all. So why is she dreading every step that draws her closer to the hall where the ceremony is taking place, closer to being engaged?

She lets her mind wander to when she was just a little girl, dreaming of marrying not just a prince, but Prince William of the East. How happy she was when she got to meet him and spend time with him, how badly she wanted him to like her. In her young girl’s mind, he was perfect. As she goes down the staircase to the main hall of the castle, she chuckles to herself. He isn’t far from perfect, really. He’s handsome, strong and gentle, and truly cares for her.

Her father, King Brandon, is waiting for her at the end of the staircase. The black ink in his forehead and temples does a good job of masking the wrinkles that have now accentuated in his face. He smiles when he sees her. “You look so much like your mother.” She smiles too. She wishes so badly her mom was there. Queen Aurora would definitely know what to say to make her feel better.

She walks to the middle of the hall held in her father's arm. The room seems empty, in comparison to how crowded it gets during open events. There is basically their families and the castle staff. She looks around to see if there’s someone new, as she never really gets to meet much people. In that moment she thinks about her friends, the ones she had when she was younger, about a decade ago. It would be nice having friends other than Max. And Liam, she supposes. What would Hana and Drake look like today? It has been years since she thought about them, although sometimes Liam talks about Drake, so she supposes he is still living at Thorngate Castle.

Her thoughts are interrupted when Liam comes out from the small crowd surrounding them. As he walks up to her she can’t help but admire the way his dark-blue coat fits perfectly in his muscled torso and how a single, thick line of black ink that comes from each side of his head to his temples accentuates his determined gaze.

Only in his mind he knows how nervous he is, but on the outside he can look so confident all the time that no one would never doubt him. And he would never let anyone know how vulnerable he can be, well, anyone but Drake. His selfish side wants to be angry at his best friend for not being here, but he knows Drake is doing the right thing looking for his sister. The other side of him feels bad for not being able to be there for his friend after Savannah disappeared a couple of weeks ago. He can’t follow Drake looking for her, but at least his father gave him the liberty of sending some of his guards with him.

Liam shakes his thoughts away and stops in front of the princess. His breath catches when he looks at her, the most beautiful woman he ever laid eyes upon. Her light-brown hair falls in modest curls over her shoulders, covered by a sleeved rose dress that falls down to her feet. He can’t remember the last time he saw her in a dress, and it sure makes her look somewhat fragile, but he knows better than that. Princess Sapphire is anything but fragile.

He knows this is an arranged marriage, but he can’t help but thank the Last Prophets in his mind for promising her to him. As far as he knows, he has done nothing to deserve who he reckons to be the most incredible woman in the new world. Would she ever let him in completely? He never told her, but he can tell there are things in her mind that she doesn’t share with him. And that’s what he wants her to know, that he is in for all of her, ready to love her entirely.

He kneels in front of her, taking one of her hands in his own and placing the ring in it with his other hand. She places her other hand in his and they hold each other’s hands like that. “Accept this, not only as a birthday present, but as a symbol of our commitment to unite our lives in one, as well as our kingdoms in one.” He recites, staring directly in her eyes.

She forces herself to smile. It isn’t hard, looking into his blue eyes, overflowing with joy to see her hearing these words from him. She feels guilty her eyes wouldn’t shine for him the same way. But she convinces herself she will love him, she can do it. He deserves to be loved, and right then, staring into his eyes, she swears to herself that with time, she will learn to give him her soul. And they will be each other's strength in the challenge that awaited them ever since they were born.

He stands and places the ring on her finger. She looks up at him, they both know what to do next. They lean into each other and their lips meet in the middle, followed by a round of applause from the crowd.

It’s a ceremonial kiss, unlike the ones they have shared previously. Not that they’ve kissed too many times, but Sophie’s favourite one occurred two years ago, when he came in the library while she read a book from before.

The prince knows where to find her. He’s so happy he gets to surprise her, for it’s been almost a month since he last came to Stormholt castle. Though the trip from Thorngate lasted barely an hour with their new, more efficient cars, now that he’s of age, his several new duties kept him in the East, unable to take a break. He walks through tall wooden doors into the outstanding library - it would be completely ordinary if it wasn’t for Princess Sapphire. She’s probably the only one that comes here these days, and he’s sure also the only one to have read all the books retrieved from before and stored in the castle. The library is large, with books covering three of its four walls, in shelves that go up to the roof, about five meters high.

As he guessed, she’s sitted in a brown divan in the middle of the library, eyes fixated in a book in her lap.

“Let me guess. Third time reading that one?” His voice startles her, and she smiles when she spots him walking in her direction.

“Liam! You actually managed to scare me, because really, nobody comes here.”

“Then, my goals have been achieved. Surprise!” She laughs, staring at his handsome figure walking towards her.

Liam gazes at the pile of books on the table beside the princess. The horse-shaped figure on top of the books fills him with nostalgia and he smiles. He takes a step closer to grasp the chess piece in his hand. Sophie follows his every move with her eyes.

“I used to find it funny... you being the knight, you know. In my mind, you were always the queen.” He looks up at her warm eyes, smiling at him. “Though it would be right for you to be the king, the crucial one, always protected... you always managed to take the lead.” He puts the piece back on the pile and moves to sit in front of her, taking both her hands from the heavy looking book in her lap, to hold them in his. “Besides,” he continues, bringing her hands to his mouth to kiss each one, softly “you are the most talented person in this entire kingdom.”

He lets go of her hands and she takes the book in her lap, placing it in the table and shifting so she can sit upright. “What have I done to earn such lovely and profound words?” the young woman brings one hand up to touch the side of his face and flashes him a genuine smile. It was rare to see him carefree like that, and she really enjoys it.

Liam feels confident, for that smile of hers was always a hard one to get. “Oh,” he smirks mischievously at her “you haven’t done anything. You’re in debt to me now.”

“Is that so?” she joins his playful tone “Then pray tell me what I owe you so I can change that.”

“A kiss” he stares at her, hoping he doesn't sound desperate.

She feels her body suddenly warm at his directness as she peers into his blue, intense eyes. She sees desire in them, and her own reflection. Instinctively, she leans closer to him, hand still in the side of his face when their mouths join together. Liam’s hand press in her back, pulling her even closer to him.

He pulls back to look at her again “I see why you’re the knight though.”

“Why, now?” she giggles.

“Because” he almost whispers, his breath on her lips “the knight can make moves that even the queen cannot.” Before she can say anything, his lips are back on hers, and the sweet kiss turns into a very passionate one.

After a while, Sophie finds herself  lying on her back, Liam on top of her, mouths never leaving one another, bodies pressed together. Her hands pull slightly on his dark blonde hair when, suddenly, he pulls back and stands up. Confused, she sits up and stares at him. “What is it?”

She regards his face. The playful, carefree Liam is gone, only a sober, slightly sad look on his eyes now. “I- I’m sorry, Sophie. I didn’t mean to…” his cheeks blush. He doesn't know whether to curse his heart or his consciousness for what just happened. He really wishes they weren’t so conflicted.

“Liam,” she stood up to look into his eyes, placing her hands on his shoulders “there is no problem.” You wouldn’t be my first, she wants to add, but doesn’t. The righteous Prince William would never make love to her before they are officially together, especially not out here in a library. She knows that, and it makes her feel once again unworthy of him. No, she cannot tell him about her teenage adventures with a couple of young guards from the castle. Although it never meant anything, it would only disappoint him and break his heart.

The newly engaged couple part and they both regard the people around them, trained smiles on. Now, it’s time to feist.

-

Sophie sits in the end of a big stone table in the main hall of the castle. Liam sits beside her and Max next to them, in the side of the table. Behind them, in the back of the hall where the floor rises two steps above, stands the throne, which King Brandon occupies. The identical chair beside him, where Queen Aurora once seated, stands empty. Even now, almost seven years from the queen’s death, the sight of the king, sunken on a chair that seems to grow bigger day by day on contrast with his undermining frame, inspires grief in anyone who observes the empty place beside him.

At least during festivities such as this, the sounds of cheerful talk and clinking plates and cups fill the hall with lightness and joy. Sophie sips ale from her third cup of the night as she absently listens to Max, who is talking to Liam while stealing some bites from his lamb meat. “... no, that was the proposition Lady Olivia suggested me the other night in Thorngate Castle.”

“Wait.” The princess coughs after almost choking with her drink “Are you talking about Lady Olivia as in… Liv? From when we were children?” She looks up at Liam, who is now sitting closer than she remembers, with one arm stretched across the back of her seat.

“Yes” he replies with a smile. His eyes are sleepy and his cheeks are flushed. Looks like he’s had his good share of ale, but he’s allowed it, she thinks, after all it’s his engagement they are celebrating. Plus, it always warms her heart to see him light-hearted and happy.

“‘Does she still live with you in Thorngate?” The princess asks, looking at Liam.

“She went back to her family’s castle when she came of age last year.” Max tells her, having finally finished eating and cleaning his hands in a towel. “But that’s still in the east, so…”

“You haven’t talked about her in years!”

“Sophie, we…” Max turns his whole body towards her and takes her hand is his both. “We don’t talk much about the people we meet outside this castle because you… well, you have to stay here. And we don’t want you to feel bad.” His eyes are on her, cautious.

“Thank you” she says, gazing each one of the men, “but I want to know what happens in the kingdom that I will eventually rule, even if I can’t be there.”

“That can be arranged.” Liam says slowly, nodding at her.

Sophie is so focused on the conversation with the two men that it takes a few moments for her to hear the change in the ambient noise. It starts with distant voices slowly raising their volumes, eventually she can discern screaming and turns to look at whatever is taking place. Then, the next events occur all too fast.

A woman, covered in dirt and blood, tottering towards the king while everyone around her distance themselves. Her hair is damp, the princess can’t tell if it’s from water or blood. There are red and black stains all over the woman’s clothes.

Without thinking about it, Sophie’s feet carries her through the crowd, eyes fixated on the weak looking figure. Suddenly there’s a cutting sound and the woman drops to the ground. Sophie finally gets to front of the small crowd and runs to kneel beside the woman, her movements almost automatic. An arrow is jabbed through the woman’s back. The princess reaches down to check if there’s anything she can do to help but realizes the woman is dead.

Confused and shocked, she raises her head and looks around, only to glimpse a man in a guard uniform with a bow in his hand, which she assumes is the one that shot the arrow. Everyone else is just staring at her. She wants to scream but her voice falters, why isn’t anyone doing something? However, before she manages to catch enough air in her lungs, her vision is suddenly blocked by the legs of another guard which appear in front of her, and the feel of his hands holding her by her shoulders and carrying her away.

[imhereforbvcky]

Absolution - Part 1

Masterlist  -  Part 2

Summary: Bucky must figure out how to live with some of his worst memories when he can’t shake one particular ghost from his past.

Prompt(s): Could you do a Bucky story inspired by Murder Song - Aurora?

Warnings: AAAAANNNNGGSSTTT so much angst. Ok, we’ve got swearing, nightmares, looks at Bucky’s captivity and the unpleasantness related to it, murdery sadness, I think that covers it?

Word Count: 1712

Author’s Note: I got carried away because I love this artist… I will be posting this story in 3 parts. I’m queuing them to post at 4pm Eastern every day, so I won’t be opening a new tag list for this one.

“James?” His voice was gentle, but a little insistent. Bucky blinked quickly a few times before lifting his eyes to his doctor. He must have called his name a few times, judging by the concerned way his eyebrows drew down just slightly and the gentle urging in his tone.

“Sorry,” Bucky mumbled, not quite meeting his eye. “I’m here.”

“Okay,” the therapist acknowledged calmly, “Want to tell me where you went?”

Bucky’s chest swelled with the deep breath he drew in. He held it, trying to steady himself before releasing it slowly through clenched teeth. He felt the minutes tick by, knowing he needed to say something. He did trust this man, had been pretty honest with him up until this point. But this was the point where things got messy, became… ugly.

“No.”

“Alright,” he answered in a smooth tone, betraying none of the disappointment Bucky knew he must feel. “You know we don’t have to talk about anything you don’t want to.”

More time. More silence.

“Okay, let’s try something else. How have you been sleeping lately? Are you still having the dreams?”

Bucky was quiet again for a moment and shook his head. “Not the same dreams, no.” His eyes lifted up to his therapist briefly before flickering over to the young woman, hovering just behind him. He knew she wasn’t real, just… some hallucination, some grotesque manifestation of his trauma come to taunt him. A guilty memory come back to life. It was she who filled his dreams now instead of rusting iron restraints and frosted glass cages. He remembered the guilt of how he cared for her and what he did to her instead of the terror of the shifting black plates and piercing electric currents. Every second was about her now, awake or asleep.

He’d been silent too long again. The therapist looked at him, waiting, but not expectant any longer. They both knew this session wasn’t going anywhere.

“Alright James, that’s our time for today.” Bucky only nodded his reply, shifting to leave, yet another session where he’d held back, pushed the truth away, hid the things he needed to say. “We’ve done a lot of great work together, and I think there’s more we could do but I think you’ve been holding back the last several weeks. So this week, I’d like for you to think about your goals for our time here, and when you’re back we can look at how to get there. Sound good?”

Bucky nodded and avoided rolling his eyes. He didn’t blame the guy. It wasn’t his fault. Bucky  knew you got out what you gave in to this sort of thing, and in the not so distant past he’d gotten a lot. He’d talked about his memories of Steve and growing up, the night terrors he still had about being reconditioned, the abuse. It was all starting to help.

The dreams had diminished but now they only gave way to something worse… He now remembered the things he’d done, and he wasn’t entirely sure he deserved absolution. He wasn’t quite ready to let someone help him move past them.

As he paced quickly out of the office, she followed too. “You should tell him.” How was it possible that her voice was as clear in his head as it had been some 60 odd years ago. It was agony.

“Tell a Mandated Reporter that the assassin living in the middle of New York City, who was barely pardoned less than a year ago is also hallucinating? Seems like I should not tell him.”

“And talking to yourself,” she smirked. Or… the image of her in his mind smirked as he straddled his motorcycle.

“Part and parcel,” he argued.

“He’ll understand,” she soothed. Why was she trying to help him get rid of her? “It’s what he’s paid to do.”

“No, it’s what he’s court ordered to do.”

“Hallucinations of the deceased are a fairly common bereavement experience,” she rattled off. Or did it mean he was thinking it to himself? It was all so confusing and anything where she was concerned made him too nauseous to think clearly. “Complex grief. I think after 70 years of loss and abuse at the caliber you’ve experienced it’s hardly a shocking symptom.”

With a sigh Bucky slipped the helmet over his head, shutting out his new old friend. “Doesn’t mean it’ll end well.”

Steve stood beside him with a comforting hand on his shoulder, gripping tighter than he needed to. Bucky’s arms were extended in front of him, his stance sure and strong, the firearm unwavering as he held the barrel flush against her skin. It was her again. It was always her lately. For weeks. She stared at him unblinking, no expression at all as the cold steel pressed against her forehead.

“What you did all those years…” Steve began. She slowly lifted her hands to circle the barrel, holding it in place, still staring at him, relentlessly. There was no other way for this to end. “It wasn’t you.”

Bucky could feel the tears on his cheeks, wet, and burning hot. He was shaking, trying to catch his breath. He needed to be quick or he’d devolve into sobs and he’d never get off a clean shot. She shouldn’t suffer.

There was a rumbling bang and everything went dark. With eyes tightly closed he embraced the dark for a moment longer; she wasn’t in the dark, only in dreams like this one. And sometimes in his imagination if he was too distracted. He tried to steady his breathing by placing a hand on his chest and focusing on the rise and fall, trying to count it out. There was moisture on his cheeks. Tears. That part of the dream, at least, had been real.

Another bang had him jolting out of bed faster than he could think, all instinct and fear, fresh out of a dream like this. He’d slipped out of his room, keeping flush to the wall and taking long silent strides towards the noise with his thick serrated knife in hand. He wasn’t permitted firearms yet. It was a good thing, he thought.

As he eased into the common area, he saw that the lights were on, which instantly eased his alerted instincts. Someone breaking into the Avengers Tower in the middle of the night would certainly cut the power. Light was a sign of safety.

The muffled curse from behind the counter gave him enough grasp on reality to lower the knife and step into the light.

“Oh Jesus!” Tony hissed, nearly dropping the pan for the 3rd time. “Barnes! You scared the shit out of me.”

Bucky didn’t answer, and Tony took in his appearance: pajamas, but a long thick knife in hand, red-rimmed eyes. It was the tired look he found in them that let him turn his back, moving to the stove and trusting his instincts.

“I was gonna make an omelet but uh…” he glanced at Bucky over his shoulder as Bucky eased onto a stool setting the knife on the island and pushing it a few feet away. “Split a frittata?”

Again, no answer, but they’d run into each other often enough on sleepless nights for him to know that unless Bucky skulked back to his room, he’d take whatever you put in front of him. Neither of them were exactly hungry, but Tony needed something to do with his hands, something to keep him occupied, and Bucky needed people. Someone to just let him be close without asking too many questions.

He usually wound up with Tony or Natasha on nights like this. At first it had been Steve, and Steve still worried to no end, but that was exactly the problem. For as long as Bucky’d known Steve he’s always had a Mr. Fix-It attitude about everything; he had no clue how to just be there. He’d go to Steve if he felt like he was really in trouble, if things were shifting or he might be a danger. Otherwise he preferred the quiet understanding of common experience with Tony and Nat. It didn’t need to be said, they could feel it, read it on each other as if it were their own bodies tensed and reacting to invisible ghosts.

Tony chattered on quietly, tossing veggies in with the eggs. Bucky didn’t mind the talking, it suited them both. Eventually, Tony cut to the chase. “Haven’t heard you much at night, still having nightmares, though?”

Bucky nodded. They were definitely nightmares, even if they didn’t leave him screaming in fear and remembered agony. “Different lately,” was all he managed to say, her memory still so fresh he could taste the gunpowder on his tongue, feel it stinging his nose when he breathed in.

“Your doc think you just gotta work through ‘em?” Tony probed, sliding the messy little frittata onto plates. “Or is he giving you something to help you sleep?”

Bucky gnawed on his lip and spun his fork in his fingers, hesitant and unsure how to answer.

“Oh, c’mon, you’ve gotta tell him.”

“It’s just, this time…” Bucky swallowed some egg. “This time it’s me. I remember… Am I supposed to just let this guy document every horrible thing they made me do?”

“If it helps,” Tony gave a slight nod, stuffing his a large piece of egg in his mouth. “Have you tried writing it down?” Bucky shook his head. There were things he wrote down, notebooks he kept carefully guarded, slowly filling with memories he wanted to keep. This was not one of them. “Try it. Write down what you remember or what you dreamed and then just give it to your guy. Easier than saying it sometimes.”

Again Bucky had very little to say, the weight of his memories still heavy on his mind. The image of her followed him like an eclipse, blocking out the light of a future free of all this. He offered only a nod as he slid off the stool and rinsed both their plates.

“Okay!” Tony clapped his hands together, “We’ve talked, and now let’s forget. Mario Kart?”

Bucky chuckled softly, drying his hands while leaning on the counter. Forgetting sounded divine. “Yeah, let’s do it.”

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[koizumicchi]

Of Fairy Tales and Ryoma-kun

Of Fairy Tales and Ryoma-kun

Summary: Sakuno Ryuzaki wouldn’t deny she has a thing for fairy tales but being close friends with Ryoma Echizen for almost a decade was a tale like no other. For the RyoSaku Exchange 2016. For @internalmusings ♥

Sakuno Ryuzaki had always been fascinated by fairy tales. They were her bed time stories lulling her to sleep and had been there for her all step along the way. Back when she was a kid and attending Seishun Gakuen Elementary, she’d sit still in her chair when the teacher in English told the household tales. She’d listen intently and feel her heart flutter every time Happily Ever After was said and the book was closed. Despite not understanding what these English stories completely meant, she knew they were the same stories her grandmother retold.

On her eighth birthday, Sakuno’s parents had organized a princess-themed party. She was dressed in pink (like Princess Aurora) and a golden tiara stood amidst her chocolate brown hair. She didn’t remember much of it, only how happy she had felt then and probably the thought that it was the happiest point of her life.

A few days before the start of middle school, a twelve year old Sakuno boarded a train, on the way to meet her grandma and witness an official tennis match with her very own eyes. At this age, she was still half-stuck at her fairy tale fantasy—where a knight (or maybe a prince) would one day appear in front of her on a regal white horse, sweep her off her feet, bring her to a kingdom she would one day rule, and give her a lifetime of happiness and true love. Except, she thought as she closed her eyes, it was a fantasy and nothing else. There was no prince and happiness is merely subjective and well true love and happily ever afters were only legends because this was reality and reality did not bode well. Like right now. There was this guy, mightily swinging a tennis racket inches away from her face. She could only close her yes and pray these loud bullies would stop. Oh, how she wished her savior would come right now and whisk her away, but Sakuno was no fairy tale character, only a timid girl; so it came a surprise when someone spoke, “Hey, you are too loud.” And just like that she was saved and maybe partly whisked away too.

Ryoma Echizen was no prince, that fact Sakuno was aware. He was a brat, as what her grandmother and senapais would say, who’s good at tennis; but to Sakuno, he was not a prince but her knight in shining armor, no matter how cliché that might sound. She admired him from afar; sometimes going out of her shy way to cheer for him, cooking lunch for him, and occasionally being taught tennis by him. Even though he bullied her long braided hair a lot, she could admit she had a crush on him who actually wasn’t a knight in shining armor anymore but a real life tennis prince (he’s so good at the said sport that there was no other title for him).

At the end of their first year, Ryoma flew to US for, surprise surprise, tennis. Sakuno sent letters to him for an update about their senpais and sometimes a bit about her life too. She figured it wouldn’t hurt and he wouldn’t mind, considering they were friends now and maybe she got over her little puppy crush on him.

During N-17, that was the first time she met Ryoma after they parted ways, completely and utterly baffling, she might add. She was only walking after school, and bam, by the order of the tennis gods, she met him—a bandage on the bridge of his nose and that same tennis bag. She was happy to see him of course, and even happier when he pulled her by the wrist and dragged her along; similar to her fairy tale fantasies, they were off on a journey together, except it was not as lavish as it was. They only went to the arcade and—Sakuno sighed dreamily—it was like a dream come true. She got to spend time with Ryoma-kun and felt closer to him more than ever; all the while ignoring the tiny voice in her head that whispered, if it was someone else, he’d take them to the arcade too. And that traitorous puppy crush was back again, making her heart beat rapidly against her chest and sending giddy signals to her veins.

When they escaped the store clerk, Sakuno could see some traces of Ryoma-kun not there before—the way he was slightly out of breath, that familiar sweat at the back of his neck, and a tension on his back that reflected something was troubling him. She wondered briefly how she could tell such. He suddenly asked what she was doing after school, and against the soft glow of the afternoon sun, it struck her how this brat of a tennis prince had grown to a handsome man. Hmm, she could add that to the reasons why she liked him.

“What were you doing?”

“I was going to Miura shrine to pray for victory. So you’d be chosen for the Japanese team. A-And I drew your fortune for you.” She smiled at him, attempting to give what she’d drawn but it slipped off her fingers. When Ryoma reached for it, she immediately realized it was the wrong paper. “Wait, that’s—“

“So these really do exist.”

“N-No! Not that one! I drew a second one.” In the process of rummaging inside her bag, it came off her shoulder and fell.

Ryoma picked it up and apparently as well as the papers coming loose out of it. “Bad luck, bad luck, bad luck.” He read gloomily. That troubled tension became a bit more evident.

“No, no! Don’t be so depressed!” Sakuno was panicking, but thank the tennis gods, she found the exact paper she was looking for. “Here,” her cheeks dusting pink in embarrassment or maybe it was adrenaline, “It’s okay. I know something good will come of it in the end.”

Right then, Ryoma-kun smiled and the tension on his back lifted. Sakuno felt her heart flutter again. She made him feel better; she was so happy, her heart could burst. However, he didn’t miss asking how much she spent on those fortunes; mentally she added, if it would make you happy and give you an additional boost, it really doesn’t matter, Ryoma-kun.

“Thanks, Ryuzaki.” He was walking away from her again and going back to that tennis world of his. Sakuno couldn’t help but smile. He might not be her prince in real life but supporting him on the sidelines was just as good as that could be. She glanced up at the now pink afternoon sky—the same color painting her cheeks and also the same hue as her princess dress in her fairy tales.

At twenty-three, lots had changed for Sakuno. She graduated from University, landed a decent job, and occasionally catching up with her friends from middle school. Surprisingly, she remained friends with the tennis prince and still held tight to her feelings that wouldn’t disappear. After all this years, how could she? She herself did not know. Maybe, she was the real living flesh definition of ‘first love never dies’ or something similar to that; and she wondered, sitting here in the audience seat, watching Ryoma receive his gold trophy, would these feelings of her remain caged in her heart or someday she’d have her ever after at last?

“Sakuno-chan! Ochibi doesn’t change, huh. Look at that smirk!” Kikumaru-senpai said with a grin, grasping the railings and leaning forward to wave at his kouhai.

“Wins get to his head sometimes,” uttered Sakuno, not a bit surprised she could say this now. Being around Ryoma, hmmm for more or less a decade, could just melt away her shyness of the past and be more comfortable joking around. Even their upperclassmen weren’t fazed at all. Embarrassments still come and go though, right now for instance.

“You say that like you’re Ryoma’s wife.” Momoshiro piped up and instantly Sakuno could feel her cheeks going warm. The teases never go away, huh.

“Who is someone’s wife?”

And just like that, she could hear the snaps of several cameras all around.

“Ryoma,” Sakuno greeted with a nod and smile. Honorifics were a thing of the past now. “Momo-senpai was teasing again. You ought to get yourself a girl of your interest. Sooner or later, everyone would think we are secretly on a relationship.”

This was the 23-year old Sakuno, more comfortable with Ryoma, less stuttering, and could even get away with joking such. The bittersweet ache of love still did not go away though but she shrugged it off at the moment.

“But aren’t we?” The tennis prince responded, not a change of expression on his face, but oh, his eyes glittered with mischief alright. Sakuno inwardly groaned. This again. The media would suspect their supposedly romantic relationship again and believe her; clearing up things was difficult if she was the only one doing the clearing.

“Ryoma.” She narrowed her eyes at him, but the red on her cheeks betrayed her attempt of a menacing look. “He was kidding. We’re friends. Of course we are in a relationship.”

But her statement went to deaf ears; or rather it was muted by surprised gasps from the crowd.

“Ohhhh! Does this mean the prince of tennis found his princess?”

“You mean finally found. We’ve been waiting for years—“

“So it’s finally official? Wow, how many years did it took?”

“After this announcement, will Ryoma retire? I heard his father did exactly that.”

“IT’S CANON OMG CAN I SCREAM NOW?!”

“YES, PLEASE GET MARRIED!”

“So you are in a secret relationship!” This one came from Momoshiro, who was grinning widely.

Sakuno wanted to shrink. She was only an average girl who fantasized fairy tales in real life time and befriended the tennis prince out of sheer coincidence, how could the media, no, the whole world notice her in an instant and label her the rumored secret girlfriend to boot?!  And what, get married?! Who—

“We are,” repeated Ryoma, flashing a smirk to everyone and sitting beside the red-faced girl sporting twin braids. The vivid color of the world illuminated by the midday sun disappeared for a moment before Sakuno could make out the brim of the cap blocking her view. If it was possible, the camera sounds doubled and appeared a hundred snaps per second.

“We are not,” clarified Sakuno with a smile, setting her hands on her lap, away from the prince’s reach. She made sure to raise her head to get the point across, although the Fila cap on her said otherwise.

“I’m sorry. Sakuno’s not really good with all eyes on her. She’s in denial when nervous.”

Their senpais were snickering in the background. She’d admit, her name rolling off his tongue sent butterflies to her stomach. No, this wouldn’t do. She gripped the hem of his shirt, tightly, to get the message across. But he faced her, ignorant, “You like me, don’t you Sakuno?” He looked at her with no mischief reflected and let their fingers bump. Everything went silent in Sakuno’s ears. And then he took her hand, kissed it in front of the world. The media went on a frenzy and so does the beating of her heart.

Sakuno did not know what happened next, or exactly how the blur receded, because in a blink of an eye she and Ryoma were on a deserted hallway, his fingers latched on her wrist. He didn’t grip it tightly, but oh, Ryoma’s sweaty hand felt smooth against her skin. Their senpais must have expected (been planning) this and without fail smoothly waved them both off the media’s watchful eyes and incredible senses.

“You did not answer my question.”

At 23, blunt as ever, that is Ryoma Echizen.

“You’ve always liked me.” He said not as a question, but a statement of a mere fact.

Sakuno felt the blood filling her cheeks. “But you do not notice.” She mumbled, shy all of a sudden. Is this another reminder she ought to draw a line on their relationship again? Because it was always half percent leaning on friendship and remaining half to something more. It was pretty tiring doing the same thing again and again.

“I was a dense boy.” Ryoma admitted. “Tennis was everything to me.”

Sakuno smiled, matching her steps with his. “And it brought you here, with another gold trophy.”

“Tennis also brought you to me.” He said all of a sudden, pausing his steps, facing her. “Sakuno, do you like me?”

She inhaled a good amount of oxygen that she was sure, so why does she felt her chest constrict? Her mouth frozen in place?

Breathe, Sakuno. Breathe.

As her vision focused, she became aware that he was standing close to her, him who was brushing her hair gently.

“Ryoma,” she had to grip his arm for support. Why does Ryoma made her feel this way? She questioned herself the same time a sharp exhale escaped her throat.

“Sakuno?” The tennis prince appeared amused. “You forgot to breathe?”

“I do,” she said between tiny gasps.

He blinked. “You really forgot to breathe?”

Sakuno shook her head, flushed. “That’s not what I meant. I liked you. I always do. But it wasn’t easy and I wished every time to stop liking you because feelings don’t just work out with the tennis prince the way they do in fairy tales. I know.” Her lips trembled.  “Yet each passing day, I fall for you even more because it’s Ryoma-kun, the prince so amazing and the boy who make me feel special if he so much smiled at me. But you’re out of reach, and I am only a part of your audience. I’m not the girl fit to be your princess of tennis, Ryoma. I’m mada mada dane in so many ways. So why, why do you just ask that question all of a sudden now? At the point I’m okay with things as it is?” She gripped the sleeve of his shirt and hung her head low. “We’re friends. Weren’t we supposed to remain like that?”

A tear fell when the tennis prince himself drew her close and enveloped her in a comforting warmth. “You’ve always put up with me, Sakuno, even now. Being with you was peaceful. Times are fun with you in it. You aren’t loud like my fangirls; and when I’m surrounded by fans I cannot seem to avoid searching for you amongst that crowd. You always made me guilty if I so much cause a frown on your face. I didn’t know why. Seeing you smile makes me happy but I was a boy who did not know emotions well except my love for tennis. You were an important person to me, and still are. That time I met you out of pure coincidence and brought you to the arcade? I was kicked out of the U-17 camp for violating a dumb rule. You were always there for me, whether it is my brave princess in that Fudoumine match or you are just yourself who supports and cheer me up. Your encouragements always make me feel better, Sakuno. I wouldn’t be here, with another trophy as you say, without you constantly supporting me. You are a selfless woman, you know that? You loved me without expecting anything back. And I can’t believe you still do.”

Ryoma was now looking at her softly, eyes reflecting the love he held.

“Sakuno, my princess who thinks she’s only a part of the audience, you are the only spectator I want to impress with every match I play.” He smirked and kissed her hand again. All the doubts that poisoned Sakuno’s heart melted in an instant.

“Ryoma-kun…” With tears glistening in her eyes, she hugged him—a move she always daydreamed to do. Ryoma held her tightly. Her prince might not had come in a white horse and swept her off her feet, but this, this was how real life fairy tales reach ever afters right? It came a long way, bittersweet and full of aches at times, but still a love which could make flowers bloom even in winter.

“Ryoma?” Sakuno asked when the boy let her go. He had a funny expression on his face.

“Ah, I forgot something.” He fished in his pocket a tiny black box, holding it out on his palm. When he opened it, a ring glistened, cushioned between a midnight blue foam. The look on Sakuno’s face changed from that of surprise to trying to hold in her laughter. She tried her best but a giggle still escaped her lips. She had to put a hand against her mouth as to not offend the royalty of tennis before her. Ryoma Echizen, indeed, was the only person on Earth who could give a ring designed as a tennis racket with his cat and Fila cap on it.

“Is that Karupin?” By now, Sakuno’s shoulder shook from muffled laughter.

Ryoma blushed. “I didn’t know what design to get and when I asked senpai-taichi, it’s just: do as your heart says.” He scowled. “Next time I’ll ask mom instead.” But then, his expression turned almost….shy.

How could her prince be this adorable?!

“You don’t like it?” He reached out and touched her hand, running his thumb across the back of her fingers.

Sakuno smiled, teary-eyed again, “It’s beautiful, Ryoma. It’s you.”

He easily slid it on her finger. She looked taken aback.

“The moment the media catch a glimpse of this, you’ll have the nosiest time of your life, Ryoma.” Sakuno joked, still admiring the glistening ring.

He suddenly caressed her cheek, making her look at him, and smirked.

“Don’t tell me you are sending engagement signals?!”

“Maybe,”

“Ryoma!”

“But hey, sooner or later, we will be engaged anyway.” He appeared to be thinking seriously. “And get married in a, let’s say, a year?”

For a moment, she felt faint. “You’re already thinking of getting married?! Oh by the tennis gods.”

But to this, Ryoma only said knowingly, “We’ve known each other and supported each other for ten years. I think marriage is already a given, Sakuno.”

“Just promise me one thing, Ryoma?” She looked at him and held both of his hands on her own, looking gravely serious. “We’ll decide on our wedding rings together. No more tennis rackets or even Karupin, or your hat.” She giggled lightly.

He laughed, euphoric, and suddenly felt he’d been transported way back when Seigaku won the Nationals; except right now, the owner of the voice he faintly heard then was in his arms, smiling and exultant just like himself.

End.

 ---

A/N: HI HELLO! It’s been so long since I’ve written for this pair but oh, how I feel happy just by finishing this and I really hope it would fit the request of @internalmusings  I had constant struggles because one, I always suck at writing romance kind of things and maybe writing in general and two because of eternal distractions and crying over this pair. Waaaah, I try to watch AMVs to feel a romance vibe, but ah I end up spending time looking for fanarts instead. But hey, I’ve enjoyed this so much. It took me down the memory lane of how I grew fond of ponta pair (WHO’S FINALLY CANON @ 23 LEMME SCREAM). I wish they aren’t OOC here though. I tried what I can and stretched their characters as far as they could go *sobs*. And pls forgive my English. My writing skills are rusty af (not that they’re amazing to begin with, i cri)

PS. There is an omake scenario in my head but I can’t seem to write it right, so I’ll narrate it instead. I do not know how Fuji did it but he found them; he took a photo with Ryoma and Sakuno hugging each other. Eiji also took one but it was at the scene of Ryoma slipping the ring on Sakuno’s finger and another with him taking a selfie with the two as the background. Momo took a vid—from the beginning of Ryoma’s confession to the ring scene but it was too noisy with his sobs and shaky to be understood. The three uploaded it on their respective IG accounts, garnering a thousand likes and comments in just five minutes. Some of the fans were screaming at Momoshiro’s IG post because, to quote, this is exactly us right now!!!!! But surprisingly, a clear non-shaky video came from Tezuka Kunimitsu’s IG account, yes Seigaku’s former captain, the video all understandable and dramatic and full of freakin emotions that makes you wanna cry. By then instagram exploded.

Btw, I used Ryoma’s birthday ring as the design XD

[feverinfeveroutfic]

chapter thirty-four: one of us

Sam spent the next night at Joey's apartment before he offered to drive her back to the Bronx, complete with the painted canvas in the back seat. He also offered her to take a week off from school and spend it with him, but she turned it down.

“I worked too hard to get into school and claim my spot here in the Northeast, Joey,” she explained to him as she nestled down in the passenger seat next to him, “I mean, really. There's no way I'm giving that up. I wouldn't be here right now if not for school.”

“We gotta hang out again, though, Sam,” he insisted. “I like hangin' out with you. I feel more like myself when I'm hangin' out with you.”

“Maybe we can do something together over Thanksgiving—I have a four day weekend then.”

“Nah, I can't. We're gonna be touring over in Europe.”

“Dammit! Well, what about Christmas?”

“Christmas, I dunno. I think we have it off? I'll have to run it by Scott when I see him in a bit. Although—I do think we go back to Poughkeepsie after Thanksgiving, though. Poughkeepsie and also Providence.”

“Providence! So Zelda will be able to see you guys just fine.”

“I hope she does, yeah!”

Another few hours and soon the New York skyline emerged in their view: the cold gray clouds only made all those skyscrapers as well as the Twin Towers off in the distance appear even colder. Seeing the clouds made her think of that cat she and Marla had found outside of their new rehearsal space, especially given it was pouring rain when they found her. As Joey took to the next lane over to keep up with the freeway, she turned her attention to him.

He took a couple of glimpses over at her, the second of which he raised his eyebrows at her.

“What's up?” he asked her.

“Is it too much trouble to ask if we could swing by Marla and Charlie's place? They don't live too far away from my building.”

“I was just thinkin' about them,” he confessed. “The two of them and that little black kitty cat that she found.”

“Actually it was me who found her—Marla and Charlie took her in.”

“Oh, I see! But yeah, we can go see them for a little bit. I'm not the one with school after all.” He flashed her a wink; the freeway spanned out into a long flat stretch and they made their way towards the Bronx and all those familiar neighborhoods. For a few moments as they rounded the bend, she had forgotten what they had named the cat but she wished to find her something the next time they saw each other.

Joey took the next exit into the very heart of the Bronx and Sam shivered in the seat despite the blast of warm air from the heater vents. He flexed his fingers even though he barely held onto the wheel the whole ride there. She had had the gloves tucked away in her pocket, but she wondered if he had another pair perfect for his own hands, and one that was perfect for driving.

He flexed his fingers again.

“Tired?” she asked him with a raise of her eyebrows.

“Nah, just cold hands. I don't have those drummer gloves with me.”

“Drummer gloves,” she said in a flat tone.

“Yeah. When I was first starting out as a drummer, I'd wear this little pair of white leather gloves that protected my hands from the drumsticks. They also kept my hands warm against the cold. I think I forgot them back at my place. Louie has a pair, too.” He somewhat grimaced at the mention of Louie's name. “They're almost like gardening gloves.”

“Oh, I see. Speaking of which, I had already seen you in a hockey get up, I should see you drumming next.”

“Playing hockey and drumming at the same time,” Joey challenged her with a smirk on his face.

“Playing hockey and then drumming,” Sam added.

“Or drumming and then play a round of hockey. I'm that active, after all.”

They snaked their way through the side streets of the Bronx, and towards her apartment building, but they continued onward to Marla and Charlie's building nearby. She had a flashback to when she and Frank were in that closet together and she drew those cartoons in her journal. She could still feel the fine lush hair against her fingers. She wished to do more of those same types of cartoons in her journal, and it made her think of the ink drawings she had made in the past October. She missed doing it that time around given Cliff's passing and her filled schedule that fall as well, but she wished to do it again.

Lars encouraged her to do it with the ink at Cliff's memorial after all.

The rain had fizzled out by the time she and Joey made their way up the steps and inside of the dry, warm building.

“Do you remember where they live?” Joey asked her as he ran his fingers through his black curls.

“I do as a matter of fact!”

Sam reached the apartment first and she knocked on the door panel three times. Silence ensued.

“Are they even home at all?” Joey wondered aloud, and the door swung open. Marla greeted them, and complete with a towel wrapped around her hair.

“Hey,” she said with a surprised expression on her face. “Hey, you two!”

“Who's here?” Charlie hollered from the kitchen.

“Joey and Sam,” she called back to him, and she returned to them.

“We should'a called first but—we were just coming back home, though,” Joey explained.

“Just wanted to see how the two of you were doing,” Sam added with a shrug of her shoulders.

“Aw, that's too kind—come on in, you guys.”

Joey ran his fingers through his jet black curls again as they padded inside of that cozy front room. They had rearranged the furniture at some point: the couch had been moved over to the wall opposite from the front door and they had tucked a cat tree into the right corner of the room. Charlie emerged from the kitchen with his dark curls tied up at the back of his head, a plain white shirt, and bright red shorts rounded out by knee high white socks.

“Cute,” Sam chuckled with a gesture to the shorts.

“What, these? I found these literally right after we came back home from the tour.”

“I thought he looked good with them,” Marla added as she took a seat on the couch. The cat jumped onto the arm, right next to her, and something jingled in junction with it.

“There she is!” Joey declared.

“What'd you name her again?” Sam asked her.

“Genie,” Marla filled in.

“Genie, that was it!”

“Dream Genie,” Charlie added as she slunk past the back of Marla's head to the other end of the couch. She squatted down there and glanced over at Sam: those golden eyes shone under the soft light of their apartment. She spotted a black and green collar around her neck: right in the middle was a circular silver tag that resembled to a coin, and right behind that was a silver bell.

“She's our girl,” Charlie declared.

“I kinda wanna do something for her,” Sam confessed.

“Yeah, me, too—” Careful not to frighten her, Joey strode over to the couch.

“She's not too particular about men, Joey,” Charlie told him. “It took her a bit to warm up to me.” Joey bowed forward and extended his hand to her: Genie hesitated and her pupils dilated a bit. Sam held still for her; but then Genie tapped her dark nose on Joey's fingertip.

“We good?” he asked the cat in a gentle voice. He raised his hand a little bit to pet her head: she closed her eyes, and Joey moved in closer to her. Genie lifted herself in a seated position so he could pet her more.

“Yeah, we good,” Marla replied as she adjusted the towel on her head.

“Are we dying our hair again?” Sam asked her.

“Not yet, no—I'll dye it a different color over Christmas, though.”

“She did recolor it,” Charlie pointed out.

“Yeah, I recolored it a tiny little bit just to fix the roots and make it look even for the rest of the quarter. I'll leave the actual color a surprise, though.”

Joey meanwhile took his seat on the couch so Genie could come closer to him. Even just standing there next to Marla, Sam could hear the rich purr from inside of her throat: Joey petted her head and her back, and her tail shot straight up in response.

“I envy you,” Charlie muttered as he folded his arms across his chest. Genie rubbed up against Joey's arm and purred even louder. It was right then Sam knew that all of his problems were trivial: if that cat acted like that towards him, there must be a way to help him heal and overcome it all. She even turned around and let out a soft little meow for him.

“I really envy you now,” Charlie followed it up.

“You wanna pet her, Sam?” Marla offered.

“I'd love to—” she said as she gingerly stepped closer to Joey.

“You did find her outside of Montana after all—”

She extended her hand to Genie and she tapped her nose on her fingertips as well: she then ran her fingers on the crown of her head, and she continued to purr. Sam looked over at Joey and his brown eyes softened at the sight of her. The cat liked both of them almost immediately, and she knew there was a way in there with him.

Indeed, he walked her back to her place and up those stairs together. Aurora was descending the stairs with a plastic bag in hand.

“Oh, hey! There you are, Sam!”

“Were you waiting for me?” she asked her.

“Yeah, me and Zelda both. I was just gonna go down the block to ask Marla and Charlie if they knew where you were.”

“Well, I'm here now,” Sam told her, “with Mr. Bellardini here, too. What's going on?”

“Halloween and Day of the Dead, that's the deal.” Aurora flashed her a wink, and Sam thought about that one song that the Cherry Suicides did for their Halloween show the year before. “Day of the Dead.” She had a feeling but she had no idea if it was at all true. Aurora ambled closer to her and Joey, and she gestured for them to lean in closer to her.

“I was gonna tell Zelda after I came back,” she explained in a low voice, “but Metal Church, the band that opened up for Metallica and—” She turned to Joey. “—you guys, on their tour—”

Joey nodded in response to that.

“Metal Church cancelled the remainder of their dates for the remaining stint of the tour,” Aurora continued. “I called Morgan of the Cherry Suicides if she wanted to fill in for their spot and she accepted without a shred of hesitation.”

Sam gasped and Joey's face lit up.

“But don't tell her, though,” she lowered her voice to a near whisper to them, “I want it to be a surprise.”

“And you want to let it come from your mouth, too,” Sam added.

“Exactly, yes! She's been awful moody lately, too, so I wanna see the joy come to her face when she hears it.”

“Aw, that's so kind of you, Aurora,” Joey told her with that lopsided smile on his face.

“Anyways, what's in the bag?” Sam asked her with a nod. “It's for Halloween and Day of the Dead?”

“Well, it specifically is for Halloween. Day of the Dead has something else in a different bag out in the my car.”

She opened the top side of the plastic bag to show her the collar of a beige jumpsuit. The inside was line with black satin.

“From that movie Ghostbusters,” Aurora explained, “I even got this one personalized—” Indeed, she took it out part of the way, and they both noticed a black name tag embroidered there on the side of the chest: inside of the rectangle was Aurora's name in red lettering.

“I can get you one, if you'd like, Sam,” she added.

“I'd love one,” Sam replied with a smile and a raise of her eyebrows.

“One for me, one for you, one for Marla, and one for Belinda if she wants to join in with us. I tried to offer it to Zelda but she told me she didn't feel like dressing up. I told her, 'it's Halloween—you ladies own Halloween', you know to try and lift her spirits and whatnot. But I dunno.”

“She's probably waiting for us,” Sam remarked as she adjusted the lapels of her coat.

“Probably waiting for you in particular,” Joey added, “here, Aurora—lemme help you out with that—”

Sam continued on to the stairs, to the third floor and her apartment. Zelda had taken her seat outside of the front door: she flashed back on the time Cliff had taken his seat there outside of her door. But Zelda had more of a distant look on her face in comparison to him: he awaited her presence; she awaited some sort of comfort. She sighed through her nose and she bowed her head a bit, but when Sam stood above her, she peered up at her. Her eyes were large but far away.

“How you doing?” she asked her, to which Zelda shrugged. “Is everything alright?”

“I think my band might be breaking up,” she confessed in a small voice. “We haven't been able to do anything—Aurora hasn't gotten us anything. I can't put the blame on her, though. I feel like it's my fault.”

“Well—how 'bout you come on in? I can put on a kettle and make you a cup of tea.”

Zelda sighed through her nose again.

“Okay,” she almost breathed that out, and she climbed to her feet. “I do feel a little bit better saying that, though. I haven't been able to tell that to anyone else.” Sam unlocked the door and let her inside of the apartment. Zelda took her seat on the couch and she leaned back against the soft cushion. She still had that distant look on her face as Sam fetched her a clean mug and a bag of green tea. Her slender, toned legs separated a little bit: she looked a little bit thinner than usual.

“Would you like some sugar in your tea?” she offered her in a gentle voice.

“Sure, why not.”

“Um—Aurora is gonna get us some costumes for a Halloween party,” Sam recalled. “We could all go together in an ensemble of sorts.”

“Yeah, maybe we should,” she muttered. Something else bothered her, and Sam took her seat next to her on the couch.

“What's wrong?” she asked, and Zelda sighed through her nose again.

“I feel bad about breaking it off with Louie,” she confessed almost without taking a single breath.

“Well...” Sam fell short with that. There was no way she could console her because she had lost Cliff to something she couldn't control, whereas the whole thing with Louie hit a brick wall. And yet they both lost their boyfriends: she nestled up closer to Zelda, who kicked off her shoes and she pulled her knees up to her chest. She bowed her head and rested her lanky elbows upon her knees; Sam considered putting her arm around her shoulders so as to console her but she had no idea how Zelda would react to it. She smelled of cinnamon, that smell of Christmas. That smell that made her think of Cliff.

“You know Cliff used to sit right there whenever he came over here,” she told her in a low voice.

“Oh, yeah?”

“Yeah. He would just sit there and relax, and he let me come closer to him.”

Zelda's bottom lip trembled a bit.

“Do you miss him?” she asked Sam in a broken voice: tears lined her eyes.

“Every day. I think I'm gonna miss him every day.”

“At least you have him all to yourself now, though,” Zelda pointed out. “I just don't have it with Louie anymore.”

“Well—you guys broke up for—for—for some reason.”

“For some reason, for sure.”

“Would you be willing to listen to Legacy's new album, though?”

“Of course. I wanna know what it feels like on his end. He's also a drummer—I like my drummers.” She sniffled.

“You like your drummers even if they leave,” Sam pointed out.

“I do. I do, I do, I do, I do... I still love Louie even with him not next to me anymore.”

Sam extended her arms for her and Zelda moved in closer, and they embraced each other.

“Thank you,” Zelda breathed into her ear.

“If it's any comfort at all,” Sam started again; she moved back so she could look right into her tearful eyes, “I feel my heart opening again.”

“Really?” Zelda brushed away a tear.

“Yeah. To Joey.”

“Whoa, really.”

“Yeah. And—I wanna tell you to keep it under wraps, too.”

“What for?”

“Because—I honestly don't know how to break it to him yet. Or to anyone, really. I'm also not really sure of it myself, either. I keep thinking, oh, it's nothing serious. I just love him out of necessity. I don't necessarily feel that sort of love for him. But—all things equal—I do feel love for Joey. But I don't really want it to leak out as of yet. Mine and Cliff's relationship leaked out onto him and so I don't want me and him to leak out.” Sam extended her pinky finger to her, and Zelda hooked her own around it.

“I won't tell a soul,” she vowed to her a low voice. “And the amount of times you said 'leak' makes me wonder if there's a leak in here.”

“Nah, that just—sort of happened.” A soft whistling noise emerged from the kitchen.

“There's your water.” Sam lifted her gaze to the door and at the sight of Aurora and Joey. “And there they are, too.”

“Speaking of leaking—” Zelda turned around and Sam stood from the couch and hurried into the kitchen before the kettle whistled even louder. She heard their voices in the next room. And she switched off the burner and she picked it off there; before she could make her way back into the front room when Zelda let out a shrill yelp.

“OH MY FUCKING GOD, AURORA, I LOVE YOU!”

Joey burst out laughing right then. Sam hurried into the front room with the kettle in hand; Zelda threw her arms around Aurora's body and she began to push her back to the door. Joey set down the plastic bag and he clapped his hands. Even with his darkened skin, a soft blush bloomed in his face from his laughter.

“Well, don't suffocate her, Zelda!” Sam chuckled again; Zelda pressed her lips to the side of Aurora's face, and her smooth almond shaped eyes widened a bit at the feeling.

“Oh, my god, that just made my life!” she tearfully declared.

“I told—Morgan—but I wanted it to be a surprise—” Aurora stammered.

“So you coming to the Halloween party thing now? I don't even know what it is, to be frank,” was all Sam could ask as she poured the hot water into her mug.

“For sure!” She wiped away more tears. Joey clapped his hands some more before he extended his left to her. She gave him five down low and threw her arms around him. Aurora ran her hands under her black hair and let out a low whistle.

“I can't even remember the last time I had a bear hug with someone,” she choked out, “not even when I grew up out in San Diego. I don't remember the last time I had that.” And Sam almost dropped the kettle from laughing so hard.

Over the next couple of weeks, things seemed to lighten up once again. Sam could focus more on her art and her classes. Indeed, her watercolor paintings seemed bolder and brighter than before, with the washes looking as though she had taken the paint straight out of the bottle and applied it onto the heavy grained paper. The lines on her graphite drawings looked cleaner and smoother, and she was finally getting the hang of the extra dark shading. Belinda made a joke that it came from the weekend together with him.

“His last name is Belladonna, you said?” she asked her the day before Halloween.

“Yeah. A play on his real last name of Bellardini.”

“You know belladonna is deadly nightshade, right? Genus name belladonna atropa?”

“He took me to his hockey rink and he actually had a ball that actually said 'atropa' on the side, and he told me that was what sparked the idea for it.”

Belinda leaned in closer to Sam's ear.

“He's injected you with his venom, Sam I am,” she whispered.

“Injected me with his venom,” Sam chuckled and rolled her eyes at that, but Belinda's face remained serious. She never elaborated on that for the rest of the day, or even the next day before the party. The thought did linger in the back of her head as she returned home after school: she took a glimpse in the window next to her, at the black hat upon her head. She gazed into her own dark eyes, and she thought of Joey's big brown eyes. As brown as the earth. As dark as venom.

But it wasn't possible

But on the other hand, Sam felt relieved that it was Friday again, especially when Aurora swung by and they drove down to L'Amour together, wrapped in their jumpsuits no less.

“We're missing the little ghostie symbol on the door panel,” Sam said to her as the familiar neighborhood appeared from around the corner; she adjusted the black leather gloves that Frank lent her earlier that morning.

“The siren, too!” Aurora laughed. “Let everyone know that we've arrived.”

They rolled up to that spot before the side door, which hung fully ajar: as Sam climbed out of the car, she spotted Scott and Dan inside there, both with no shirt on. Lush dark hair sprouted all over Scott's chest while Dan looked as though he had just come from several rounds at a nearby gym. And she thought Joey was trim and fit!

“Looks like we've got some manly men, Aurora,” she announced in a loud voice. They both looked in their direction and burst out laughing: Sam strode inside first and she stepped to the right. Aurora followed suit and put a pair of black goggles on top of her head, and she stood to the left. Both girls pressed their hands to their hips.

“Lookin' badass, ladies,” Dan remarked with the points of finger guns; he then ducked away for something. Once they had come inside, Sam realized that their faces had been painted a pearly white, as if they had walked right out of a spa. Both men had clipped their bangs back to put more emphasis on their masks.

“Yeah, kinda puts our costumes to shame, to be honest,” Scott added with a raise of his dark eyebrows.

“Aurora, Marla, Belinda, and I are the Ghostbusters,” Sam explained. “We're just missing our version of Ecto-1 is all.”

“The lasers, too,” Aurora added.

“What about Zelda, what's she dressing up as?”

“No idea—I hope it's something good, though,” Sam confessed. “After Aurora said that the Cherry Suicides will be opening up for Metallica in Providence next month, she's just been on cloud nine lately.”

Dan returned with a handful of jars and some flexible stencils in his arms, and he set them down on the little table in between them.

“What's all this?”

“We're gonna be dancing clowns,” he explained. “Kinda glad you girls showed up, too.”

“Why, you need a couple of girls' help?” Aurora teased him, to which she took a step forward.

“If you don't mind at all,” Dan replied with a shrug of his bare shoulders.

“You girls are one of us,” Scott added as he took out a pair of plastic vampire teeth from his shorts pocket, “—we really need you.”

“Here, Danny, let me help you,” Aurora volunteered.

“Which means I get Scott.” Sam turned her attention to him. “Would you like some help with those false teeth?” she offered.

“Nah—I do need a li'l help with the false blood on this, though.”

Sam took off the black leather gloves and tucked them into her pocket. Scott held still as he let her paint that bright red and jet black paint over his skin: the stencil stayed in place upon his skin, but her hand remained steady. She followed the elaborate groove of the stencil and the thick solid black onto the white foundation.

“Scott and I were making a joke,” Dan began in a mumbled voice, probably from the stencil on his skin as well, “he should shave the word 'not' into his chest hair.”

“Pffff, why?” Aurora laughed.

“Kinda fits the whole mood of things,” Scott added with his teeth barred together. “We lost a good friend so we wanna lighten up for a bit.”

Sam dipped the brush into the paint again, and she thought about the red shorts Charlie wore when she and Joey visited them for a bit. She wondered where they were going with it all, especially since it had been a touch over a year since their record dropped. She placed the other stencil on Scott's face but she kept her free hand on the free one.

“They're sticky so don't sweat it 'bout it fallin' off,” he assured her.

“I see.”

“And I see Zelda over there—in a dress.”

“In a dress, really? Run for the hills!” Sam laughed, and Scott gritted his teeth to keep himself steady. His eyes darted across the room and he raised his thick dark eyebrows a little bit.

“Oh, my,” he muttered without moving his lips.

“What's it like?”

“I can't—really describe it.”

And with that, Sam peered over her shoulder and there was Zelda in the doorway. She had put on a big long white lacy dress with a skirt that fell down to the floor. She had on a smooth silken ribbon around her waist and torn lace gloves. But right in the middle of that fitted bodice was a false butcher knife, and fake blood spattered across her skin and a good part of the dress itself. The floppy hat upon her head had splatters of blood across the brim.

“Oh, deary dear,” Sam remarked.

“Oh, my god, Zelda, you look amazing,” Frank called from the other side of the room.

“Yeah, I know right?” Zelda said with a big smirk across her face. “Thank my ladies for this. We're not called the Cherry Suicides for no reason. We got the news from Aurora just yesterday and there was no way we couldn't not celebrate by dressing up like a bunch of bloody Victorian ladies!”

“Bloody Victorian ladies,” Scott echoed in a fake British accent.

“Hold still,” Sam encouraged him as she brought the paint brush back to his face for some more stenciling. His thick dark eyebrows complimented the black and red paint, and within mere minutes, she peeled off the stencils for him.

“Deliciously evil,” she remarked, and he stuck the fangs into his mouth. She then turned to Dan and Aurora, the former of whom had stars painted all over his face. “Excellent!”

She recognized that head of purple on the other side of the room, right by the bar and wrapped up in a beige jumpsuit herself. She had a black backpack on: it wasn't the laser, but it looked as though it did the trick.

“And there's the third member of our party, Aurora,” Sam declared.

“Thank you, Sam I am—this feels fantastic,” Scott told her.

“My pleasure, Scott—” She jogged across the wooden floor to meet up with Marla. She already had a Bloody Mary before her, and her face lit up at the sight of Sam.

“Hey, I was just thinking about you. Want a drink?”

“Nah, I'm good—Bloody Maries aren't really my thing.”

“No, no, I want to get you something.”

“Oh, yes please! One of those black and purple drinks with the club soda inside.”

Marla asked the bartender for just that, and Sam took her seat next to her.

“Belinda's on her way right now,” she promptly said, “apparently the suit was a little too small for her.”

“Too small? She's like a living doll.”

“I know, right? But I guess it was a bit too snug around her chest so she had to wing it a little bit on her sewing machine. She's like a mad scientist sometimes, I swear...”

Sam's drink arrived and they clinked their glasses together. She took a sip when she noticed something out of the corner of her eye. Aurora had finished up Dan's face paint and she met up with the heavy gentleman with the black suit and the black fedora atop his head.

“And there's Aurora and Emile,” she remarked. “He looks like a dark Colonel Sanders.”

“What's going on between them, do you know?” Marla asked her in a low voice.

“No idea, to be honest. All I know is he's separated from his wife and they're friendly with each other.” She turned her head towards Marla. “A little too friendly, if you ask me. That's just from what I've seen, anyway.”

“So there's whole thing between you and Joey and now we have Aurora and Emile.”

“Right. And I have no idea what's going with any of it, either.”

Marla squinted her eyes at the sight of the couple on the other side of the room. She didn't move or say anything for a good long minute.

“Let's see where it all goes from here on out,” Sam suggested.

“It's all we can do,” Marla added as she picked up her Bloody Mary and took a sip. Sam held her purple drink up to her mouth but she kept it there.

With Cliff's passing came a whole new world. Almost two years had surpassed since Sam came to New York and it felt as though so much more had happened to her. Everything seemed to be moving so quickly and she couldn't hardly stop to rest a lot. Emile quipped something to Aurora, who then burst out laughing. He set a hand on her upper back.

There was definitely something in between them. No way it was just friendly. Sam didn't have much experience with the whole thing but she knew that that extended beyond mere friendship. She finally took a sip from her glass, and Marla did it in unison with her.

[adventurouskiwi]

Life In A Van

I have just been travelling and living in a van for over 6 weeks. I have been travelling around Northern Norway and exploring more of this breathtaking country. The Lofoten Islands and the aurora were two of the main things that drew me to Norway to begin with and to finally be able to see them has really blurred the line between my dreams and reality. This is definitely a chapter of my life I will always remember. But it hasn't all been rainbows and unicorns. Living in a van has been a new way to push myself, to throw everything off balance and I can certainly say that I achieved that. I have felt a lot, learnt a lot and seen some pretty incredible shit along the way. I've had some big lows, some real challenges and some moments that should have been great highs became mediocre.

This has been a new level of isolation. I had Tussi (the best dog in the world) with me and felt so grateful for her. Sometimes I just needed a cuddle and I had the cuddliest little fur ball to hug whenever I wanted. Talking to Tussi and sharing chips with her while we drove became second nature. I can't believe how well she handled the endless hours of driving and I feel I owe her so much. I did get worried about her though. It was a lot of isolation for her too and I couldn't help thinking that when I was down and my energy was the only thing she was feeling, she must have felt low too. There were times where I wish I had left her at home in the company of the other dogs so she could be happy. But I was so grateful for her, she picked me up and made me laugh a lot and she gave me reason to go for walks even in the crap weather. I feel so close to her, without her I can't imagine how different the experience would have been. Just being able to share some incredible moments with her made this time so much more special. I can't explain the love I have for that dog, she is so special to me and has been the biggest part of my time in Norway. She has been my anchor so many times.

My first couple of weeks were hard. Really fucking hard. I drove roughly 25 hours (over multiple days) to get to Lofoten and I hadn't really thought about how boring and long that drive would be. With it being winter time the daylight hours are getting shorter and shorter here, and when it gets dark by 4, you feel like it's the middle of the night by 7, so the driving was quite tedious and tiring. Then, when I arrived in Lofoten, the place of my dreams, it was raining and it didn't stop raining for over a week. It's hard to explain just how much the weather effects your mood when you are in such a confined space. But it was tough. Every day I would wake up and my options were to hike or drive. When it was raining and the clouds covered all the mountain peaks, hiking seemed pointless. I would drive around trying to get excited about my surroundings but it sometimes felt impossible to pick myself up. I felt alone. I felt lonely and I questioned what the fuck I was doing multiple times. There I was living out of a van in the most beautiful place in the world, meant to be having the time of my life; and it was shit.  Music became my saviour many times but this was certainly the biggest mental challenge I've faced in a while. There were not a lot of tourists around in this time of year and the whole place was very quiet so I went days in complete isolation.

The change in mood when the weather cleared and I got into the mountains was massive. It made me laugh thinking how you can go from feeling so miserable to so excited and grateful in such a short amount of time. It just reiterates the importance of being patient. I went on a few hikes that quickly became my new favourites, as I saw scenes that I only thought existed in dreams. I saw the aurora multiple times and it left me astounded each time. A cool thing about the aurora is it was often an experience I got to share with others. I would meet others waiting in the cold for it's appearance and the excited energy everyone shared when it appeared was static. I will find it hard to explain what seeing that was like, the sky literally coming alive above you. It's definitely something that I would recommend putting on the top of your bucket list. I guess I would describe it as both unreal and magical. I became addicted to waiting up to see if the sky would dance each night leaving me in complete awe. It still doesn't feel like something that could be real and I'm so glad I got to experience such a phenomenon.

A real challenge was the limited daylight hours. With roughly 4 hours of light each day, I had to decide exactly what I wanted to get done in the few hours before the sun went down again. It also meant I was in bed ridiculously early and my sleeping and eating patterns became fucked. It got dark by 3 so often I was tucked under my 3 duvets by 4 watching a movie, or reading. With such limited light it meant I didn't get to see everything I would have liked but also made me treasure those 4 hours each day and try to take in as much as I could. I found I appreciated the beauty in a different way as I was only allowed to absorb it for such a limited time and then was left craving the next day to come. I can't exaggerate how beautiful the North is and having everything covered in snow just made it that much more breathtaking. I was left on such a high from all the things I was seeing that the amount of darkness didn't depress me or get to me much. I just want to ingrain those sights in my brain forever. I didn't get faced with extreme coldness. My coldest night was around -12 degrees Celsius which was fine. The van wasn't insulated or had any kind of heating but I found I got used to the cold very quickly. The condensation inside got quite bad and it was funny when the droplets would freeze on the roof and my top duvet became hard as it's dampness also froze. I also learnt the true value of socks, especially dry socks and multiple of them. Socks were the one thing that dictated how good or bad my sleep would be. My water would sometimes be frozen so I learnt to put bottles on the dash and blast the heating while I drove. There were definitely challenges but I found them mostly funny and enjoyed trying to overcome them. I even brought a scented candle to light in the van to freshen up the damp smell; and I started getting creative with one pot meals and living very cheaply.

A couple of times I met locals and was even able to go out fishing with some local fisherman. The views from the boat were unbelievable; of snow peaked mountains and sunset hues bouncing off the water. Tussi wasn't sure about the fishing but I think that dog would try anything for me. The times I got to spend with people were so special, everyone was so warm and after being by myself I treasured being able to chat and laugh with others. I also tried surfing in Lofoten (Unstad beach) and that was crazy. The water was about 0 degrees Celsius which was warmer then the air. But the first time I put my head under, the cold was piercing and it took my breath away. I felt so alive being out there in the cold waves while it snowed. Surrounded by white mountains. I struggled to get up but I really enjoyed giving it ago, and like always, I immediately felt the magic from being in the ocean again. The relaxation.

Overall, I am so grateful for the whole experience. I saw some of the most beautiful places I've ever seen and made some incredible memories. Living in a van for the first time was awesome, it was so convenient and although extremely isolating I think I learnt so much. I loved having everything I needed right there with me and just being able to pull over and relax whenever I wanted. I survived alone and in the cold and came out, yet again, a stronger person. I was beyond lucky to have Tussi and will forever be grateful for the special bond I have created with her. Times like this is what life is all about. Pushing yourself and just getting out and doing all the things you want to. Living. I continuously have dreams of how I want to push myself next and I definitely can't wait to live in a van again one day. I feel so lucky to be able to experience the things I do, I am so content with my whole journey so far. Bring on more wild adventures in 2019, I'm excited to see what it has in store.