#and also i am not that person anymore

[neuromantis]

kinda fucking weirds me out every time i hear my birth name used for a cat or a dog.

kinda fucking hits me with a realization that i am named after a talking mouse from a book and that all my life my parents treated me like a pet.

[starscream-is-my-wife]

Sometimes a day makes you want a Starscream to bite and squeeze

[kithj]

some stories are written precisely to elicit strong emotions from the reader INCLUDING negative ones. some stories and characters are meant to be upsetting, they are meant to challenge you and make you uncomfortable!! when a story makes you feel Big Feelings sometimes you are meant to sit in those feelings and ask yourself why! fiction is a great space to explore these emotions in a safe environment. you, as the reader, are meant to think critically about the art you are enjoying and that includes asking yourself questions like why has the author presented their art in this way and what are they trying to tell me. and then you get to have fun picking it apart and figuring it out and deciding what, exactly, the art means to you.

[blueskittlesart]

new personal favorite comment is “do the parents know about your nose ring” please explain to me the logistics of hiding a highly visible facial piercing from a parent but not their preschool aged children. quickly

[sunllghtt]

Hi are you up for a messy scene analysis thing

Ofc it's this scene who do you think I am

I've been wanting to do this for God knows how long but I never had the balls and neither the words to (still don't) but I wanna try to properly talk about this scene. My primal instinct is to sit here and tell you how much this 30 second scene changed the trajectory of these characters in the next movies, how it made their friendship grow and develop and how much of a storytelling lesson it is (oh the so so deep understanding you need to have of your characters to have them say things so vaguely and still express exactly what they mean). I could also go down the emotional and subjective road and ramble about how much it means to me and how I resonate with it, but I've done that at least 837382 times and I think everyone knows it by now 😭 so!!! Let's get to the real thing

(I'm trying to keep it as analytical and straightforward as possible but please note that this is my favorite scene that's ever existed so neutrality is not really a possibility)

Rocket is a brat. He's restless, he's loud, he's always puffing up his chest and yelling at someone and picking fights with the wind cuz it was blowing in a way he didn't like and he's just an overall bastard. In this scene, though, we see him inside out. His head is low, his shoulders are slumped, he has his tail between his knees and he looks tired. He speaks quietly (curiously like he doesn't want anybody else to hear him), he's not deliberately insulting anyone and he's just..... defeated??

Up until that point I don't think we ever got to see Rocket like that. From what the movies have shown us he'd never had to. But in the past few days that led to this, Rocket had stolen batteries for no apparent reason (which we'll later learn why💀), ruined their ship, got literally kidnapped by Ravagers, blew up a creepy planet-guy-thing and oh my god attended his friend's dad's funeral. At least half of these things were directly or indirectly his fault and he knows it.

I don't think he ever doubted it was (we see it earlier in the movie when the Guardians leave to "The Chain" by Fleetwood Mac and Rocket scowls and winces like he either stepped in a pile of shit or got hit in the face by regret), but he still argued with Peter even knowing he was in the wrong just to keep up apparences or hold on to a little thread of pride when he was already feeling ashamed for being caught red-handed stealing shit he didn't need AND destroying their ship etc etc, and he just kinda fucked up big time. And I think that's (besides the general exhaustion of parenting a tree and fighting a planet and Yondu's death) is what got him so devastated in that scene.

Ofc Yondu played an extremely important role in that. He was the one to open Rocket's eyes, to give him some sort of reality check and show him the only thing isolation is ever gonna bring him is regret and bitterness (or, in other words, Yondu). Rocket is most of all hopeless and tired and just sad like that because he knows he hurt his friends. He knows he's chasing them away, that he yells at them, that he's always mean and that he steals batteries he doesn't need. He knows he's not awesome to put up with and seeing what happened to Yondu and his former friends probably made him terrified it'd happen to him and the Guardians too. He's stuck in this cycle of pushing them away with everything he can (and we could get into all his trauma regarding betrayal and death and literally endless other things but it's all very clear at this point) and he knows patience doesn't last forever. He's just scared, he feels bad and he's tired.

Now on the other hand we have Quill. He's also destroyed, he lost two fathers (3 if you count what Ego could've been, what he wanted him to be), basically relived his mother's death and had to watch literally every single one of them die. He's also scared and tired, yes, but all he has left is this unstable family of weird idiots who are learning how to show care and he's... pretty much fine with it. He wants it.

And when what Rocket's saying clicks, when he realizes who he's talking about, Quill, who's usually all smirks and teasing and bickering and name-calling, looks at his best friend like this,

because

(From vol 2 script!! Won't even try to comment on that last part before Quill's last line but I also really like that Peter just "shakes his head" over and over like he's just barely listening until he realizes what Rocket really means cuz it also shows a lot about his character. He's naturally a little slow and downright stupid when it comes to this kind of hidden emotional thing and he's also exhausted and depressed from everything that happened and STILL he stops and just. Sees Rocket, and sees Yondu.)

He's not doing well. He's probably sore and hurt and sad and miserable and yet he takes his sweet time to look down at Rocket, let go of his resentment from before and see right through him. In order to understand this scene it's important to remember he most likely doesn't know what Yondu told Rocket at all, he doesn't know anything they said to each other and how Yondu showed him they're mirrors. He doesn't know any of that. He just knows his best friend and his father and how much they resemble each other. He puts up with Rocket's bullshit because he knows how to deal with Yondu.

He could've just ignored him or pretended he didn't know what he was talking about. He could've made Rocket swallow his pride and "teach him a lesson" by making him say what he means without hiding behind metaphors and vague self-deprecation, because Rocket was probably vulnerable and defeated enough to be honest in that moment. And yet, he just looks at his friend, who's usually a loud and mean and restless brat, and is now staring at the floor with his ears droopy and his tail between his knees, and just says, as a form of reassurance and tenderness that's just as subtle and shy as Rocket's insecurities, "Well, of course not."

(The kind and soft and sweet DETERMINATION on his face tho like no!!! No we're not ditching you even though you suck I'm!!! Serious!!!!)

[shrews-art]

Pain reminds us that we are alive or something I guess

[reineyday]

so happy they included rengoku in this shot!

[fugitoiid]

get a load of this guy

[m-for-now]

Headcanon that Leo has the song "Honey, i'm good" in his distraction working playlist and whenever it comes on, he refers to Festus as the "somebody at home" when that line comes on and him and Festus just have a nice little time enjoying a silly little song

[saddest-girl-in-the-whole-world]

maybe a bit of a weird thing to post during alectopause but honestly I'm a little excited about the fandom after the series is finished for good. Maybe it's just because of how I engage with most fandoms on this site but there's something to be said about a ""dead"" fandom, yknow?

Being able to discuss a story in its entirety, critical analysis (and loving a story despite whatever flaws you find in it), tamsyn writing a different book and the more personal interactions within a fandom past its peak are some of my favourite things about getting into fandoms on this website, it's great!

But hey, maybe I'm just a weirdo that's a bit too much into a dead body

[pearl-crystals]

Its funny because I just said I wasnt finished with the lantern and I just finished it now haha.

They have been contained at the Favor Tree. I took some close ups and they are so nice. Its so comfy to be around too. I will probably use it at night sometimes to see or just for fun.

Under the readmore are the pictures in color!

[larapaulussen]

[causenessus]

hi! i'll keep this short

i came to the realization everytime i've disappeared from tumblr to "take a break" i never really have because of other things going on in my life (which, duh, this isn't my whole life) but! i also realized that if i never actually take the time to recover and rest and think about things i should be writing i'll never feel better. so! i'm (once again)(but now more formally) going on hiatus until maybe may! i might pop in for spring break or earlier if i feel like it, but until then, not really any writing from me! with that being said, i'll still be around, doting on my moots (i.e. like, dorothea <3 wyr <3 and bug <3) because i love them so much and i will probably also post chapters of present ever so often! the reason being (i'm going to try to make this make sense but it may only make sense to me but i'm aware of how contradicting i am to me five seconds ago when i said i need to take a break from writing) present is a very personal fic for me that i've worked on for years at this point. what i'm posting now are chapters i wrote months ago after I've read over and edited them (or in the case of the upcoming chapter, i did randomly add it in and had to write it from the ground up last week lmao) but if it isn't obvious, present is a work i'm very passionate about and am just posting in case anyone else enjoys it but it feels like it's a work that is very individualized just for me and it doesn't cause me any stress or anxiety. on the topic of individualization, although i am of course so so thankful for all of the support and people that follow me, i do sort of miss when my blog and world were a lot smaller. it's something i feel like i only get when i get to reply to people in comments, but other than that, all the numbers and people on my feed give me a lot of anxiety. the hq (smau fandom especially) fandom or at least how much i'm (was) involved in it has grown exponentially and of course i'm happy about that but it's a bit too much for me. i'll be taking a huge step back from the fandom and any hq works i've written at least in the meantime, but that's not to say they'll never be finished! but i either need to grow to handle the bigger audience that now reads my works or wait for things to grow a little smaller again :) i hope to still be able to read my moots works but forgive me if it takes me a bit or i never get to them! i think at the least i'll still like them to show my support <3 thank you if you read my long ramble! i love you all <3

oh also i'll probably post self ship moodboards and the beginning of my reading list (thank you again dorothea for the idea <3)! but again, I think you get the idea by now; I want to go back to doing this for me! so this is a tiny little goodbye now i'm leaving for you all with forehead kisses and flowers and love notes and mwah <3 i'll see you around!

[tj-crochets]

So on the plus side I apparently unexpectedly reached some threshold of stabilizing my mast cells and have had a few reactions with no migraine or nausea! I'm experiencing acute stress without having bad tachycardia or shaking or having a little bit of that whole "impending sense of doom!" On the minus side I seem to have gone back to hives????? I used to get hives from like 2015ish to like 2019ish, when I finally mostly got my allergies under control*, and then I mostly just stopped having hives. Like. At all. I might have contact dermatitis on like hands knees or elbows if I happened to touch pollen from the Mystery Plant I am allergic to** but I did not get the spontaneous hives on my joints all the time, and now I had one on my hip and I feel like my hand is trying to get one and maybe my knee????? This is definitely a huge step down in terms of severity, significantly less likely to have side effects that land me in the hospital, but I am so confused. Happy about it! Hope it lasts! But so confused. Also (and I do remember this from the few times I got hives once I started antihistamines), feeling a hive try to form while on high doses of antihistamines is so weird. I feel like if I get into too much detail it might squick y'all out but trust me it's a weird feeling. Each individual hive since I've been on daily antihistamines, with one notable exception, lasts less than an hour instead of 24+ hours. *read: four times the daily recommended dose of 24 hour antihistamines, as my allergist told me to do **was not able to narrow down what, exactly, it is, but it was seasonally limited and limited to a certain geographic area so like I think it was a plant? Forgot to mention: I had very little overlap between the "all hives all the time" era of my allergies and the "severe migraines leading to severe dehydration" era of my allergies. Like, very occasionally my hives reaction would get bad enough I'd get the migraine and nausea as well, but very, very rarely. They aren't mutually exclusive they just seem to be for me?

[glassesweirdo]

It wasn't the jayvik break-up song it was the jayvik forgiveness song, and somehow, that's worse.

[ancha-aus]

RealAgeAU - Breakfast

Okay! So. I know this isn't the one you guys were probably expecting.

BUT I HAD AN IDEA! :D

and because this whole drabble serie is loosely hanging together with just my pure power of will I am adding it! :D

First Drabble here (with special thanks to @spotaus for the original prompt which sparked this all) Prev drabble here Next Drabble

As always we have no beta and zero editing, just me and my fast typing and dyslectic ass trying her best.

Also... Enjoy Crop's thoughts :D

*----------------*

Crop hangs up the phone as he sighs next to the chicken coop. The chickens are still mostly asleep as the sun hasn't risen but with his new guests Crop figured it was best to get his chores out of the way early.

And collect a few fresh eggs.

He slowly moves through the coop to carefully grab the eggs from his very sweet chickens. They always work with him and he is very lucky with all these ladies.

As he goes over his mental list as he collects the eggs. He made sure to call his brother to both warn him and to ask him to get extra supplies. He is going to call the local doctor after breakfast.

Either way, his brother knows they have quests and the most basic of explanations. He is bringing more food and general things for them to use and will tell people in town today as he does their shopping.

Crop just... needs to make sure they are comfortable.

Crop chuckles as he holds the basket with eggs in one arm as he pulls out his phone and finds the picture he took this morning.

So he may have sneaked a look at his guests before he went to do his work. He just wanted to be sure they were comfortable and not bothered by anything. He remembered how souldeep tired all of them had looked and how tense most of them had been. He just wanted to be sure that they were actually comfortable resting.

What he foudn as one pile of skeletons all locked together and sound asleep. Little Nightmare in the middle being held close and protectively by Killer. Dust pretty much plastered to the two of them on Nightmare's other side. Cross had layed on Killer's side, squeezed right between Killer and the wall. Horror had been laying by Dust's side. All of them completely out as the open window let in the fresh summer air.

Crop had silently snapped a picture before leaving again. Oh! That is what he should do! He quickly texts Papyrus to also buy a picture frame and to print the picture for it. After which Crop send the picture and Papyrus replied with a message that he will get it done.

Crop figures they will want to make the attic a bit more theirs.

Crop knows they won't stay forever. He knew that when Horror first visited and he knew that when he and Dust visited together. It is just... the farm gets lonely and it is nice to have friendly faces around!

He walks down the dirt path back towards his farmhouse. It looks peaceful and Crop prays this really is what they needed. Even if it is just for a little while. He makes sure to try and be quiet as he enters the house again but the door still creeks.

Crop waits for a moment but hears nothing from upstairs and closes the door again. He goes to the kitchen and thinks it over as he prepares coffee for himself. As it brews he looks around the kitchen.

What to make. What to make.

Maybe omelettes? those are usually a good go. Eggs themselves are an amazing source of protein and together with some fresh vegatables...

Crop nods and starts taking out the right ingredients. He takes out a few extra eggs as he has quite a few mouths to feed today and he gets to work on cutting up vegatables. Crop is just considering turning on the radio just to get the silence to be less pressing when he sees a shadow out of the corner of his socket.

He turns and freezes. Because that is a very tiny six year old staring at him. Crop manages to keep in the coo as he takes in the sight of Nightmare in an oversized t-shirt.

Crop smiles "Sorry if i woke you."

Nightmare tilts his skull a tiny bit before answering, his voice is soft spoken but it is clear as a bell, "You didn't wake me." his mouth and teeth pitch a little bit up "I am what Killer calls 'one of those cursed morning people'. Usually I get up with Cross and Horror but both were tired."

Crop nods as he turns back to continue his chopping "I see. Well. YOu will be happy to note I am also a monring person." he finishes chopping up a few onions before moving over to the peppers "I am sitll working on breakfast. Do you have any preferences for your breakfast."

A light hum that sounds a bit closer before he answers "Not really. Is it okay if I sit here?"

Crop wants to just lay his face on his counter because he is so wellmannered it is so cute! Crop remains strong however and shoots him a grin, silently noting that Ngihtmare had somehow moved himself into a chair without making a single sound.

Crop nods "of course. Happy to have you keep me company." he takes a sip of his coffee before turning back to Nightmare with a frown "Do you want anything to drink? I have some orange juice."

Nightmare tilts his skull and nods "orange juice is fine..." he does eye the coffee wishfully.

Crop looks at his own mug before grinning "Are you allowed coffee or will that get your four friends all mad at me?"

Ngihtmare blinks before looking a bit happier "It should be fine. It never harmed me before."

Crop nods and grabs another mug, one with little goats on it, and fills it with some coffee. He turns to Nightmare "How do you take it?"

Ngihtmare smiles a bit more sheepish "Lots of milk and sugar..."

Crop chuckles and nods as he prepares it "Much like my brother than. Says if he doesn't add those things it just tastes like regret." he finishes the mug and puts it by Nightmare's arm. Nightmare watches him for a moment longer before taking it and taking a sip.

Crop grins and goes back to preparing the omelettes and just knowing that someone is nearby makes the silence much more bareable.

"Don't I bother you?"

Crop pauses for a moment before snorting "If you being in the kitchen with me while i cooked bothered me i would have requested you go to the living room. It is fine Ngihtmare."

a small sigh before he speaks again "No. I mean me in general."

Crop blinks and looks over "Why would it?"

Nightmare frowns at him before shrugging as he looks back to his coffee.

The silence returns but Nightmare doesn't ask anymore questions. aparently the ltitle thing that Crop said was enough. Crop hopes that he didn't leave a bad first impression.

Crop starts with cooking the first egg and vegetable mixture.

He watches it before he can't help it anymore "Nightmare... I was wondering something... and it is fine to not answer..."

Nightmare hums and waits.

Crop frowns but speaks "Doesn't it bother you to be here?"

Nightmare is silent for a bit longer before humming questioningly.

Crop keeps looking at the eggs "It is just... you don't know me... or any of this place... doesn't it bother you to be here?"

Nightmare is silent for a while before answering "I don't have to be worried. I am not alone."

Crop stops and turns to Nightmare "Huh?"

Ngihtmare looks at him and continues to speak "They won't let anything happen to me. I don't have to worry." he speaks with such a certainty.

and Crop can't help but be curious "really?" he leans on the table "I don't mean this in anyway negatively or to make you doubt yourself... it is just... they left right? Horror said as much, and immediantly said he regretted it!" it feels important to reinforce that! "and well... he showed me... the book of dreamtale...."

Nightmare doesn't blink at the comment of being left alone but he does look bothered with the dreamtale comment. he looks at the coffee with a frown "oh...."

Crop frowns "It is just... how... how are you still able to trust people after that?" he chuckles and rubs his neck "I know that i would have a hard time being willling to trust others if all those things happened to me..."

Horror frowns as he looks at his mug before shrugging.

Crop nods and chuckles "right... sorry... that is a very personal and loaded questions..." he quickly turns back to the safe area which is preparing breakfast.

The silence continues before Nightmare speaks just barely above a whisper "they came back..." more silence before even softer "no one ever did that... that is how i knew they were different...."

Crop feels his soul just break at that... how terrified this poor babybones would ahve been. had still been.

crop froces his voice to speak. He needs to make sure that the young child knows he was heard and understood "I see. that would make them much more trustworthy."

a soft hum of acknowledgement.

Crop can't help but wonder why Nightmare would tell him. Is it just that... Ngihtmare now as a six year old just doesn't have the same mental view on things? That he doesn't see the same boundries for topics as he saw before? Or... is it because there is someone acutlaly listening to him? Crop doesn't know and he doesn't dare to ask. He doesn't want to question his motives and make him question them.

Crop nods and thinks for a moment before speaking again "So... other subject... do you still have to do the whole god of negativity job still? Because that just seems rude and illegal... Do gods have a rule against child labor?" Crop desperately tries to find another subject and figures this would work.

A light giggle and Crop can't help but stare because nightmare giggling to hismelf is adorable. Ngihtmare shakes his skull lightly "No... I don't think I sitll got that job..." he looks thoughtful "Maybe this is part of being fired? I am not sure..." he then shoots him a look, a small eye brow raised and he looks very sassy and smug "Also, I am not a god of negativity, or well I never was."

Crop blinks and tilts his skull "you weren't?"

Ngihtmare shakes his skull "I was a god of balance. I just decided to also be the guardian of negativity. It fit with the powers i had gained and it was needed."

Crop finishes another omelette as he asks "Why negativity? If you had the choice why not pick positivity?"

Nightmare blinks at him with wide sockets before he speaks "Because positivity doesn't need a guardian but negativity does." he rolls his sockets nad mutters softly "don't get why dream did what he did...."

Crop frowns "What do you mean? Why does negativity need a guardian but positivity not?"

Ngihtmare tilts hsi skull and looks amused "Because everyone wants to be happy. Everyone chases the positive things in life... wlel not everyone but most people." he traces the mug "negativity gets pushed aside for positivity... but negativity is needed... i mean... you can't exactly just be happy about the death of someone you care about. you need negativity, that is how you can grieve and move forwards. Anger is needed when you are hurt or see injustice..." he looks down "people will try to chase positivity. but if you just feel positivity.... well... you can't appreciate the good without being aware of the bad."

Crop blinks and speaks "You can't have light without shadows... you cna't have day without night..."

Ngihtmare looks up and nods "So i decided to guard the negativity, helps a lot with mental health and progressing trauma." and he shrugs before snorting "not that it matters anymore. I am not that anymore."

Crop chuckles "how are you so sure about that?" Ngihtmare shrugs again and crop figures that is a question he won't answer for him.

Crop tilts his skull "Was there a favourite feeling for you? Like as god of emotions and stuff? Something you enjoyed to feel form others?" it sounded weird to ask but Nightmare acutally looks thoughtful.

Nightmare nods to himself "I think amazement... it is just... nice... i like how those work and felt for others."

Crop nods and thinks for a moment "I think my favorite is contentment." is that an emotions? Maybe.

Nightmare tilts hsi skull but ends up nodding "Because it is a bit more humble but still what you need?"

Crop blinks but nods "kinda."

Nightmar elooks smug to have figured it out before turning back to his mug "eggs are burning."

Crop blinks before cursing and turning back to safe the food. He manges to do it and pants as it lays a bit darker than it should be on the plate.

Crop freezes and looks over his shoulder "don't tlel them i cursed in front of you please."

Nightmare hums "I won't. Not that it matters as they do it too sometimes. would make them hypocrits."

Crop laughs as he nods-

A smash from upstairs and a panicked voice calls out for nightmare. Nightmare looks unsurprised as he continues to drink his coffee.

Crop raises his voice slightly "he is in the kitchen! We are making breakfast."

Silence before rushed steps and crop laughs as he turns back to the stoof.

It is amazing to have more people in the house again.

*---------------*

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hihihihihi i like crop. he is so curious and down to earth :3 He is just a sweet guy! :D