#and also how abby and lev met the fireflies

[humanbug]

I wanna see some more fics with Abby and lev, so could you write teacher!reader x Abby, where reader is a mentor/therapist/friend to all of the kids of the fireflies/kid's they've rescued and Abby and reader meet through Lev (cause Lev and reader are besties) thanks ☺️

Love ya! 💖

Truly Endearing

CAROLINEEEE this was literally SUCH a good request ٩(*•͈ ꇴ •͈*)و ̑̑ you are amazing ily (ෆ˙ᵕ˙ෆ)♡i hope you enjoy!!! also yall lmk if you want this to have a part two!!

warning(s): talks about religion, mention of past abuse (seraphites hurting Lev)

You press your palms against the mug you're holding and burrow your toes into the blanket wrapped around you as you listen diligently to Lev as he speaks. Letting out a quiet hum or nodding your head every few seconds. Your eyes focus on the scars on his cheeks and he talks. They had faded since he first got to the stadium, which was very troubling to him. 

This poor kid has been through the wringer and he’s only thirteen. The biggest cause of his anxiety is the ‘Prophet’ and his severe confusion regarding religion. It was a fair cause of anxiety and was one that even you struggled with sometimes and was the reason he confided in you so often. He was a sweet kid and you didn’t mind him seeking comfort in your character. 

Lev had been found collapsed about a mile from the stadium about a year and a half ago, his frail body battered and bruised. He had been dumped by the scars for shaving his head. An eleven-year-old boy…beaten and dumped, for shaving his head. He was rushed to the stadium and Isaac had permitted his stay. It had taken some slight convincing but the patrol that had found him was able to get Isaac on board with it, apparently it was someone who was high-ranking in his eyes. 

You had met Lev when he was finally healthy enough to begin attending classes. You taught a horticulture class on Tuesdays and Thursdays, and you would almost never take assignments that led to you leaving the stadium. You knew it was a useless moral to uphold given the world you lived in but you heavily frowned upon war and violence, an opinion often kept to yourself. You often wondered if the kids could sense that in you and in turn, sought comfort in you. Lev, however, had stuck around the longest. He had told you about his guardian but you had yet to meet her, she was often on assignment, sometimes for days on end. And so, any time not spent with her, he spent with you, either in your classroom, the canteen, the garden, but usually the library. The latter is where you currently found yourself. 

Taking a sip of the tea in your mug, you mull over how to reply to Lev’s ranting, “You know Lev, religion is a complicated thing, for a lot of people. My mother would often tell me that even before the outbreak, religion was a source of anxiety for a lot of people. Everyone wanted – no, they needed answers.” 

“It was?”, he folds his legs up to his chest, resting his chin on his knees, “How did…people learn how to deal with it?”, his voice is small when he speaks, you can tell he’s getting tired. How long had you two even been down here? It must be getting late…

Biting the inside of your cheek and pursing your lips you hum, “Well, they would do exactly what we’re doing. Talk about it, about their fears. They asked questions just like you’re doing. There wasn’t always an answer but that’s okay.”, you give a warm smile.

Lev sighs and his face twists as he thinks. You let out a small laugh in the form of a puff of air from your nose. His expressive eyes raise to meet yours and his brows furrow in confusion. 

“What? Did I say something funny?”, he asks.

You chuckle as you speak, “No, Lev. You didn’t say anything funny. You are just very expressive when you think and I find it endearing.”

Tilting his chin in confusion, “Endearing?”

“It means to look at someone with admiration or to find something – or someone – very likable. I find it very sweet how expressive your face is. It’s a very authentic trait that not a lot of people possess anymore.”, you take a sip of your tea and observe his reaction over the lip of your mug.

You bite back a smile as you can see the gears turning and he processes your words as the compliment they were intended to be. He opens his mouth to give you a response when his attention is snagged by someone calling his voice from behind you. 

“Lev! Jesus there you are. I’ve been looking everywhere for you. What’re you doing down here so late?”, a smooth voice speaks from behind you, worry and relief intertwining as they speak. 

Not wanting Lev to be in any trouble, you tilt your body around and look up at the person the voice is attached to and speak before you can truly look at them, “Oh! It’s my fault! Please don’t be mad at Lev. I am usually better at paying attention to the time.”, you look up and see a pair of blue eyes. Oh…oh my god. Is this Lev’s guardian!? Ohh boy. 

“Abby, this is the horticulture teacher I have told you about.”, Lev introduces you to Abby and reminds her of your name.

You offer her a hand to shake, the angle only slightly awkward since you’re still sitting on the loveseat, “Hi! It’s so nice to meet you!”, your hand lingers and for a split second you fear she won’t shake it. However a beat later her hand clasps yours, her hands are rough and calloused from years of combat. They are also a very warm contrast to your freezing hands and it causes a small shiver to flow through you. 

“It’s nice to meet you too. I uh– I’m sorry for interrupting. I just– I stopped by Lev’s room and got nervous when he wasn’t there.”, a slight blush rises under her freckles and she shifts on her feet. God, she’s cute. 

“Oh, it’s okay! We’ve been chatting for a few hours and should probably head up anyway.”, you shift your attention to Lev, “You ready?”

Lev’s eyes are heavy with sleep as he nods his head. You chuckle and rise up with your now empty mug in hand and wrap your blanket around your shoulders. As the three of you walk out of the library you shoulder off your blanket and wrap it around Lev’s frame, the blanket practically swallowing him whole. Sensing Abby’s eyes, you look over Lev’s head at her and offer a warm smile. She offers an awkward smile in return. 

–

You wave ‘bye’ to Lev as he walks into his room and Abby shuts the door, bidding him a good night.

“I’m uh– the floor above so…”, you shift on your feet, suddenly feeling like a shy teenager, “It was nice to meet you Abby. Have a good night.”, you smile and take a step back. 

“I’ll walk you to your room!”, she rushes out and then clears her throat, “It’s late…you shouldn’t walk back alone.”, she runs a hand on the back of her neck and you can’t help but glance at the way her arm flexes. 

Biting back a smile you speak in a quiet voice, “Okay. Thank you.”

Turning on your heels you begin walking and she falls in stride with you. 

“Lev’s a good kid. He didn’t deserve what he had to go through.”, you say in an attempt at small talk. 

“Yeah…he– I wish I could do better by him. He deserves–”

“Hey now. You’re doing your best.”, you cut her off in a stern voice. Head turned to look at her with a serious expression, “I mean it, Abby. He– that kid loves you so much. You are doing just fine with the resources you’ve been given. Don’t discredit yourself.”

Her cheeks flush at the unexpected praise and she runs a hand along the back of her neck, “Yeah…I guess I never thought of it like that. I– thank you…that means a lot.”

Giving her a smile as she holds the door to the stairwell open for you. Your shoulder brushes against her on “accident”. You feel your face flush at the firmness of her body. Jesus christ what are you doing…you don’t even know this woman, take it easy.

As you climb the stairwell and walk down the long hall you make pleasant small talk with each other. You arrive at your door and your hands fiddle through your jeans in search of your keys. Doing your absolute best to hide the slight shake of your clammy hands you slide the key into the door. 

Your eyes drift over to Abby as she leans against the wall, watching you. A small wave of confidence washes over you and you let a hand gently run over Abby’s forearm as you speak, “It was really nice meeting you Abby. I hope I’ll be seeing you more?”, you tilt your head slightly. 

Your ego blooms at the vibrant shade of pink that blooms under her dusty freckles. She clears her throat before she speaks, “Y–yeah. It was really nice meeting you too. I’d– I’d like that.”

“Good night Abby”, you say quietly and step into your room. Body resting against the door once it’s closed. You grin at nothing in particular like a silly teenager. “Jesus Christ, do I have a crush!?”, you mumble to yourself as you slip your shoes off. You haven’t had a crush in…well…years? This’ll be interesting.

[eccentricallygothic]

|| Hers ||

Summary: After trying to fight it for as long as you could remember, it was in the moment her life dangled between your fingers did you realize that Abby, your captor and perpetrator was also your savior. In her own ugly and twisted way.

Pairing: Dark!Abby Anderson | Innocent!You.

Disclaimer: I (unfortunately) do not own Abby Anderson. This story contains dark and mature content so browse at your own discretion, please. Minors do not interact.

Warning(s): Noncon/dubcon, dark!Abby, stockholm syndrome, degradation, Dom!Abby, size kink, pet names, orgasm denial, use of strap ons, spanking, nipple play, mommy kink, lowkey mean Abby, corruption kink, a physical fight scene, mentions of blood (not reader), power imbalance, housewife kink, dacryphilia, dumbification.

Note: English isn't my first language but whoring is and I just finished TLOU 2 for the second time. Also, the story takes place in a setting where Abby and Lev along with the reader get to Catalina Island without anything canon happening after she escapes Haven with Lev. Then from there the reader runs away from her and while trying to find reader, Abby and Lev get captured where they are freed and let go of by Ellie eventually (basically canon ending). Unedited. I don't really know what this is either but I unapologetically want this. Feedback is much appreciated 🩷

MASTERLIST

"Yes?" 

"Puppy…" Despite having resigned to your fate three months ago, it still sent a pang of discomfort down your spine whenever Abby used all the rather degrading pet names she loved to call you. Placing the last washed and dried dinner plate in the rack, you shook off the feeling and denied the tick in your jaw to become a whole clench. 

"..." You were met with silence when you slowly turned around to face her only to see a small scowl of disdain spread across her beautiful features.

Guilt burnt your insides at the sight of all the scars your attempt at escape had caused her once smooth skin. Since she wore a tank top and some shorts, the injuries that were still healing added to the gut wrenching feeling. 

. . .

You were reading a book as you leaned against the only rocking chair in the trailer you had found in a place you had ended up after weeks and weeks of travelling on the horse you had stolen from the Firefly stables. Although you had hated every second of it, you couldn't help but admit that being taught to fight and survive by WLF and Abby after she had dragged you there with her when Dr. Anderson had died was actually proving to be of use now. 

You had been neighbours with a very overprotective and commanding Abby always hovering above you. Nobody had paid much attention to your complaints because how could Jerry Anderson's ideal daughter be anything but a caring friend who just wanted to look out for you and guide you? 

You hated it.

They wouldn't have believed you even if you had told them about all the times she had sneaked in your room at night and held you in place with your arms above your head after muting you by pushing one of your stuffies in your mouth. She would push one of her knees in between your legs, very comfortably holding you in place as she would watch and enjoy the sight of your writhing body eventually becoming lewd under hers. 

You hated her.

You hated yourself. 

The way your insides would burn as your hips would smoothly sway side to side, pussy rocking against her strong thigh until you would gradually orgasm before becoming submissive and desperate for the night ahead, a slave to her whims as she would proceed to do the dirtiest most vile and degrading things to you, it made you angry. 

Embarrassed. 

A rapid and hard knocking sound erupted from the door and your body stilled with the exception of your eyes. They slowly moved from the page in front of you to the door. 

Fuck. 

You could have sworn this area was unpopulated. And you had made sure to hide your horse the best you could. 

At least it's not an infected. You tried to console yourself. 

But there's worse sickos all around the world. 

Your breath hitched in your throat and almost became a scream when the knocking got louder this time around. You bit your lip and slowly got up.

Yes, you had been trained much against your will by both your captor and an army of assholes but Abby had always made sure to take on your share of assignments as an act of protectiveness. She had never really let you take the outside world head on. The only thing you knew in a fight was her and the ones you trained with. Coupled with some artificial demonstrations of the infected. 

Your body jumped when the door was kicked this time. 

"I know you're in there, bunny…" A shiver of pure horror ran down your spine when you found yourself recognizing the muffled voice on the other side. Sure, it was rough, hoarse and laboured. But it was burnt and branded too permanently in your mind for you to mistake it with anyone's. "Don't make me break this fucking door down" you knew from experience that it was more a promise than a threat. 

You wanted to laugh at yourself.

Just when you were starting to believe that you had actually escaped her for good. 

Your eyes scanned the small space for a weapon. Clutching the book tighter between your fingers you tiptoed to the counter and grabbed the kitchen knife laying next to the bread you had baked yesterday. 

Your heart was wrestling its cage by the time you reached the door that was threatening to come off its hinges any second now. Pressing your lips into a thin line, you did your best to keep your mind from wandering to all the possible punishments you would have to earn her forgiveness that you couldn't really give a rat's ass about.

Hiding the knife in the book you calmly -or as much as was possible at least- you unlocked the door and let it swing open slowly. 

Out of all the sights you had imagined, the one before you was the one you never could have imagined. 

Hair cropped short, clothes torn, feet bare, skin burnt, muscles deteriorated, fresh wounds bleeding and nostrils flared as she struggled to breathe, Abby held tightly at a backpack that wasn't hers. Betrayed, angry and pained eyes watching you. 

Your jaw clenched at the expectation on her face. She was waiting. Smug. Your role in this situation was to fold, cry, beg and tell her you were just a dumb little baby who couldn't think right for herself and were bound to stumble when left unattended for too long. 

"How did you find me?" Though her state tugged at your heart strings, you did your best to ignore it. 

Even in her disheveled state, your captor had the audacity to twist the sides of her mouth in a silent sneer. "I have told you time and time again, puppy. I will always find you-" the words ignited an explosion of pure fury in you. 

The book in your hand was flying in her face before you yourself could register what was going on. She grunted and effortlessly swatted it away, blocking your knife attack that came next before tightly holding your assault. 

"Fucking…" You grunted in frustration. Despite looking near death she could still hold you back almost just as easily as usual. The dry chuckle she let out had you kicking her in the gut. 

Abby grunted in pain as she finally stumbled back, although still taking your knife from you and making the weapon go flying against the muddy ground outside. You collapsed on top of her but quickly scrambled to the side to get away. But Abby was much faster, as per usual. 

Her lips were next to your ear in an instant as she crawled over you from behind, condescendingly pushing your body in the traditionally submissive position against the ground where your cheek pressed against it with your ass held high. 

The filthy bitch rubbed her crotch against your cheeks. "You seem to always forget, baby bunny. Mommy knows all your weaknesses" your fists clenched in the dirt, the particles gathering in your fists as the humiliation became your drive. 

You couldn't even beat her in this state? 

With a new sense of resolution pumping through your veins, you screamed and threw the dirt in her eyes, rubbing it in. Her grunt turned into a shriek when you found a thick knife slash on the arm she had wrapped around your throat and dug your fingers in the exposed wound with all your might.

"You… ungrateful fucking bitch!" Abby pushed herself away from you, temporarily blinded as she squinted her eyes while one of her legs winded back to kick you away. 

But you had had enough. 

"As if I asked for any of it!" You braced yourself against the powerful kick, hitting one of her wounds against as you tossed more dirt in her face, pushing her backwards and onto the ground with a thud with a rough thrust of your heel against her torso. "How-!" Crawling on top of her with your shaking limbs, you trapped her arms under your knees as your fists landed against the face you had stared into at nights as Abby had made you cum over and over. "HOW FUCKING DARE YOU CALL ME THAT?!" Sobs left you as you unleashed years worth of pent up frustration and anger, your pampered knuckles burning with each hit. 

"I HATE YOU!" Flashes of the life you had lived with her -which was basically your whole life- started playing before your eyes as you reached for the knife laying near you. "I HATE YOU SO FUCKING MUCH!" Yet your hands that you were gripping the weapon with ceased and refused to come crashing down into her body no matter how much you willed it. 

Your teary eyes watched her lips that you had whimpered against so many times. The body that she had spent whole nights worshipping now holding her helpless under it felt a sickening feeling wash over it. Your throat that she had kissed better after sexual endeavours felt a bile rising in it. The chest that her back had always sheltered behind it in face of any and all troubles heaved up and down. The mind that she had broken and then built back up to her liking was tearing up due to the dilemma. Hands that she had always held in her guiding and protective ones clammed up. 

Her pained eyes were watching you helplessly for once. No smugness. No cockiness. Only hurt. And love. 

"FUCK!" Another sob tore out of your throat as you landed the knife on the ground besides her at last. Your head lowered as you released her arms, trembling and wailing as you collapsed against her chest, wrapping your arms around her. "I fucking hate so, so, so much, Abby Anderson" she had done it. 

You could never kill her. 

. . .

"Yes, mommy?" You corrected yourself as you slowly approached her, whimpering when her rough fingertips pushed your hair out of your face before holding it in place and pressing soft kisses to your lips. A silent giggle left you as you made a mental note to moisturize her still rough lips again. 

The inside of the cottage you had been assigned in exchange for loyalty and Abby's service as a soldier of the Fireflies at Catalina Island was warm. The love of your life's body was also in a much better state now. Each day you found a reason to love her a little more than the day before. 

It was going to be a slow and long process. 

But it was the only way for you. 

"I understand if you're tired today, okay?" Abby had definitely gotten softer and less strict outside the bedroom as opposed to before. You weren't the only one learning and adapting. "But, I think I am ready" her worried eyes tried to read your face as your throat went dry. "For… that, you know?"

Of course you knew what she was talking about. 

Two weeks after getting back to your cottage following the showdown and Abby's captivity and final release from Ellie's claws, you had been redressing her wounds when you had asked her to punish you for trying to escape. 

Yes, maybe it wasn't fair. 

But neither was her and Lev trying to find you, getting ambushed by the psychos known as The Rattlers who had subjected the only two people you had left for a family to all sorts of torture and torment. 

Besides, it was all you knew and everything you wanted to make amends. 

You being the rather simple minded person you were, you couldn't tell if Abby had been much shaken by Santa Barbara but almost losing Lev was something she had nightmares about. He was like a sibling she had never had, after all. 

"No way, mommy." You smiled and held her face in your own hands, copying her. "I am not tired." Pressing your forehead to hers, you smiled after another chaste kiss. "Never tired to take my punishment. Dumb babies need it so mommy can teach them what's right." Though the words she had quite literally conditioned into you still stung at your cheeks, you knew you meant them whether you could admit it or not. 

Abby's smile was a proud one. "Good puppy." She peppered your face with soft kisses, causing you to giggle again as she took her sweet time before giving you her next command. 

"How do you want me, mommy?" Heat spread between your legs. 

You were just as disgusting as her. 

That was why you were perfect for each other. 

"Naked. Spread and submissive like a good bunny wife." Her thumbs caressed the flesh covering your cheek bones. 

You blushed and nodded, letting her kiss you like your girlfriend one last time before you walked to your shared bedroom and complied with her orders. 

It was a good thing Lev found another roommate, because the times where he was inside the house when you two got up to your passionate activities -with Abby always managing to make you scream and moan- breakfast the following morning was the most awkward and painful. 

Neatly folding your clothes and placing them on the dresser like a proper little wife would -your wife was very strict about these things-, you stepped out of your flip flops and neatly pushed them besides the bed. 

Excitement started to fill your body and nip at your thrumming bud as you climbed into the cool bed that would soon get warm. A whimper tumbled past your lips at the feeling of the sheets scratching against your naked skin, caressing the soft and well protected cheeks of your buttock that hadn't been punished in a while. 

But now that Abby felt strong enough to bring your impending punishment onto you, you were sure they wouldn't stay unbruised for too long. You were so used to having sore cheeks as retaliation for trying to deny her in the past that the comfort in them felt weird.

Laying down on your very bare back, you spread your legs and moved your hair out of the way before placing your arms above your head. A shiver ran down your spine as the realization of just how exposed you really were made the blood in your cheeks boil. 

You heard shuffling as Abby walked inside a little while later, the sight of her dirty blonde rough bob filling your peripheral vision but you didn't dare to look. 

Good wives wait patiently and obediently for their rewards and punishment alike. 

"You know your safeword, right?" It still felt weird as you had never had one before. So when Abby had proposed it around two months back you had almost been confused. Then she had explained what it was and how she had read about it somewhere. Her pretty much healed face came into your view as she crawled over you, bare with the expection of a strap on dangling between her legs. 

You could look away from the ceiling now. 

"Yes, mommy." You resisted the urge to lift your hips and grind against her. 

Abby didn't like impatient bunnies. 

"And what is it?" Her lips was in a close proximity to yours but you were deprived of contact. 

"Choco" you answered breathlessly, feeling slight tremors arise in your thighs when you felt the tip against your drenched folds. 

It was thick. 

Fuck. 

The strap on was one of those reserved for punishment. 

What made you think you could get away with a spanking? 

The smirk on the pretty face of your very much unpredictable girlfriend spoke for itself. 

"Look at this dumb little girl thinking she was gonna be let off easily" her taunt burnt hotter against the muscles of your abdomen. 

God. 

You just wanted her to bend you in the humiliating position that you loved so much and fuck the daylights out of you. 

But Abby was the worst when it came to punishments. 

Not like you had much- any other experience to say so but your girlfriend liked it that way. 

You were hers alone. 

Her pretty little doll that had no flaws or filth in her. 

Untouched and pure only for her to defile however she pleased. 

"Sorry, mommyyyy…" Your apology morphed into a pained moan of both lust and discomfort when she suddenly started to push inside your well lubricated entrance. 

"As you should be" Abby's words were rough and unforgiving as she let the girth of the toy violate your needy walls, hips bottoming out once she had managed to get it inside. "Who did you think you were to decide to leave your mommy who cares so much for you?" She nearly pulled out only to slam the fake cock inside you this time, contrasting the first thrust. Your back arched and vision blackened when the thick tip collided with your g-spot.

"I am sorry, oh!" Your hips started to move in an attempt to try and adjust to the rough fucking that was being administered to your pussy that hadn't been fucked this hard in months as Abby had eased you back into everything much unlike her. "Oh! Thank you, mommy!"

"As you fucking should be" the spank she gave to one of your boobs had you moaning louder, hands that were above your head gripping the sheets right. "You are nothing and no one without me." Her thrusts were truly unforgiving which made it harder and harder for you to find pleasure in them. But you deserved this. "Think you would have survived all pretty and supple in your little floral dresses with your only responsibility being to cook and clean without me for all these years?" You could only shake your head to respond as your open mouth let out loud gasps.

"No. You would have ended up dead before you could get this pathetic pussy fucked for the first time." Her rough fingertips slapped your other breast now before pinching at the erect nipple, pulling at it to make your back arch again. Your body was sliding up and down the mattress at this point. "Or you would have wounded up as some gang's little breeding bitch with this fuckable whore body of yours." The words made your whole being burn. 

But your pussy was stretching way too much against the silicone sex toy to form anything more coherent than, 'thank you mommy's. 

"But I bet you would have liked that, huh bunny?" You shook your head again, whining and pouting for mercy but all that stared back at you were angry and pain hardened eyes. "With your mommy dead and gone for good as you got to have all the cock and pussy in the world. That was why you betrayed me, didn't you? To see the fucked up world outside that I did my best to protect you from?!" 

"No! No, no! No, mommy! No! It is not like that at all!" You sobbed, brain hazy as your pussy thrummed from the pain and pleasure the strap on was causing. "I swear! It's not the truth!"

"It's not?" Since you had laid down in the middle of the bed, Abby used the strap on to push your body to the headboard. Your eyes rolled to the back of your head from the sudden lack of stimulation getting replaced by the pressure against your womb. 

"N- No… is not… Sorry… Sorry…" Was all you could manage to pant back through your ragged breathing. 

"You're sorry?" She raised an eyebrow before flipping you two over so now you were on top. A loud whine escaped you. You hated this position. It was so hard. You weren't nearly as good as Abby with deciding what was the right and most pleasurable thing to do.

"No~!" You whimpered out unhappily as your girlfriend got comfortable against the headboard, hooking one arm under her head like she was reading a book or having a casual chat or a nap. 

Her free hand wrapped around one of your hips. The hot and rough skin made your ass shudder. "No?" Abby taunted before she landed a punishing slap to your ass, causing your body to jolt forwards. "Well then it's too bad that sorry little wives don't get to decide what happens to them." You moaned when she pinched your stomach roughly. "Now fuck yourself on mommy's cock like your life depends on it" a gasp left you when she pulled you closer by one of your nipples. "Because who knows? Maybe it fuckin' does." Your pussy clenched around the base of the strap on. "Ungrateful little puppy" the soft slap that followed her words pulled you out of your haze and you whimpered. 

"Y- Yes, mommy" your thighs trembled as you slowly sat back up, whining at the pleasure the movement caused in your sore and needy pussy. "Mmhmmm" your hips started to slowly move but you knew it wouldn't be long before you'd be commanded to go faster. 

"You always acted like this angel that hated me and didn't want any of us" a sob left you when she spanked both your boobs in one rough swat before going to tease your clit. "Yet the moment I touched you you became this leaking and panting bitch in heat, doing and saying whatever I asked you to." 

"I was dumb, mommy! Stupid and dumb!" You cried out, moving yourself up and down the very veiny and big cock as you struggled to go faster. "I didn't know any better!"

"Damn right you didn't" Abby kept on spanking you wherever she could. Fingers, palms and back of the hand. "And you still don't" wrapping your hair around her hand she pulled you closer. "Why?" 

"Because I am just a dumb little baby wife, mommy!" She lolled your head side to side like you were a mere ragdoll. "I can never know anything unless you spell it out for me! I need you to guide me and protect me because I can't survive on my own!" You were dangerously close to cumming. The knot inside your stomach was tight and hot. 

"You need mommy's guidance and protection, huh?" You nodded back, mouth agape as you fucked yourself against the strap on like a dog, each arm on either side of her body as she held your head by your hair like one does a puppet. 

"Always!" You were so close. It was right at the edge of your nerves.  

A devilish smirk played over her lips. "Are you close, bunny?" 

Your scalp burnt as you nodded vigorously and foolishly, hips slamming up and down the length. "So close, mommy!" 

"Stop."

"Huh?" 

Clicking her tongue, the stronger one held your hips with both hands and instantly brought you to a stop as your strength was no match to hers. "Tsk, needs mommy to do everything for her." You blinked at her in confusion, senses disoriented.

"W- What?" You panted out. 

Abby chuckled sadistically. "What?" Tears welled up in your eyes when she pulled your clenching hole off of the strap on. "Did you forget, little bunny?" Sitting up and crossing her legs before placing your back on them, she booped your nose playfully before softly pinching one of your hard nipples. "You were being punished" your bottom lip wobbled and tears finally spilled as you started to sob. 

No.

You absolutely hated it when she denied and edged you. 

Because this punishment was one of those that stretched over days and sometimes weeks. 

You would take anything over this any day. 

"B- But mommyyyyy~" her nails scratched the top of your head comfortingly.

"Yes, bunny?" Though it was a croon but you knew better than to believe it. This was Abby's way of challenging– no, tricking you into making it worse for yourself. 

"... I- I am sowwy…" Was what you resolved to say in the end, whimpering as the tears felt uncontrollably.

"Good puppy" a warm kiss followed the praise. "Wanna drink mommy's milk to feel better?" You softly nodded through a pout. 

"Yes, please…" It always made you feel better. 

Abby hummed a soft tune as she rocked you two back and forth, holding you safe in her strong arms as you latched your lips onto one of her nipples, sucking softly as you cried. A while passed before she broke the silence while changing your position so you were sucking on her neglected boob. Your sobs were also quieter now. 

"Rub your baby pussy for me, bunny…" This punishment was far from over. 

[xbutchellie]

me calling neil druckmann to force him to give us a dlc where ellie finds dina and apologizes for everything

[endureandplay]

The Last of Us 2 - Symbolism of Eyes

---MAJOR SPOILER WARNING----

I would like to talk about something that really stuck with me after playing The Last of Us 2, and which really made me think a lot. This is gonna be a loong post lol. Not sure anybody will read this. 

We know that the motto of the Fireflys is "When you're lost in the darkness, look for the light." Quite obviously, the ongoing problem addressed in The Last of Us 2 is that our characters “have stopped looking for the light.” The game revolves around blind hate, revenge and retaliation. And loss as the origin of those. 

Ellie’s journal entries are as dark as can be. Most of them are dedicated to Joel of course. You’ll probably have noticed that she never draws his eyes. All she does is practice drawing eyes a lot. What’s more, she keeps talking about feeling blind herself, she says she’s lost the light.

For me, it’s like she doesn’t see any hope, no joy, no future in which she can find true happiness ever again. She’s *had* this hope. She wanted to forgive Joel for what he did, start anew. They’ve wasted a lot of time because Ellie understandably couldn’t forgive him so easily for what he’s done. At the end of the game, we get to see the last conversation that happened between them, the night before Joel dies. In this conversation, Ellie tells him that she “would like to try” to forgive him. And that’s probably the moment they reconnected after years of distance, tension and resentment. Ellie speaks of this last conversation in one of her early journal entries: 

I was thinking about the meaning of Ellie not being able to draw his eyes. One that came to my mind is that whenever she tries to imagine them, all she can see is his disfigured face right before he dies. 

Ellie looked him in the eyes and begged for him to get up. It was the last time they really looked each other in the eyes, had this connection, maybe saw all the things they went through together flash before them right before it was taken away from them. We find out that she has PTSD or something very similar to it when she lives on the farm with Dina. She can’t get the images out of her head: 

Despite them having other people in their lives after settling in Jackson, they complemented and gave each other what they needed the most. 

Despite Ellie saying it, we know that they they could never be done with each other, because too much connects them. That’s what the first game was all about, after all. 

Ellie had hurt Joel over and over again. He’s not a hero, but we love him, because we love Ellie, and because we can understand why he did what he did. And Ellie does too. Her pain and hurt is just as understandable. She met him with almost cruel resentment and rejection all the time, got angry at him for small things, even when he meant well (like after she kissed Dina). 

It’s this fight they had that she remembers right before deciding to finish what she’s started, to find Abby and kill her. When she couldn’t sleep on that farm, she got up, went to her room, closed the window, knocked over the guitar and thought of that night. 

And I don’t think this is all about revenge. I think Ellie feels deeply guilty for having been to him that way, because she understands how much she means to him, and because she understands how deeply hurt and broken he is himself. She never wanted things to be like this between them, and she just wanted to forgive him in the end - she loves him and understands his pain better than anybody else.  

But she never got to get things right. This chance was taken away from them, her forgiveness came “too late”. I think Ellie is so deeply broken herself, and I feel like she hates herself. Hates that she was the one who didn’t turn when Riley did. That her life only would have mattered if they killed her to make a cure. All these years, she was mean and cruel toward him. Now he’s dead, and part of her wants to make it up to him. 

By wanting to kill Abby, she doesn’t only want to avenge Joel, she wants to redeem herself. 

Notice how she can’t draw Joel’s and Abby’s eyes, but she can draw JJ’s and Jesse’s eyes? 

I think that that she can’t draw their eyes has a good reason. With Joel, it’s not only that she can’t get the images out of her head. I also don’t think it’s because she can’t remember what he looked like - I think she can. All too well. 

I think it’s because if she imagined his eyes before her, it’s like Joel would reflect everything she does and did. His eyes would “stare” at her, as she wrote in one journal entry, but then she replaced it with “smile”. She associates him with warmth and love, but what she does is losing herself. And he’d never want that. She does things that deeply traumatize her more and more. She tortures people, kills a pregnant woman. Looking him in the eyes would mean reflecting on her actions and on herself. Putting loved ones at risk and prioritizing revenge while neglecting her family and other relationships. Looking him in the eyes would mean for her to acknowledge that Joel would never condone that. He’s gone and nothing she does can change it. And he’d want her to be safe and stay true to herself and her values. Not be blinded by hate and grief. 

Abby’s eyes represent something similar. Ellie knows that Joel crossed a lot of people. She knows he killed hundreds of people, especially Fireflys, including Marlene (although we don’t know if she knows that). She knows that he did a lot of bad shit in the past. Abby and her friends spared Ellie and Tommy, and that indicates that they aren’t universally bad people. Even when Dina asks Ellie what she thinks why they spared them, Ellie doesn’t want to talk about it and says that it doesn’t matter. But it does. 

And she’s avoiding and denying this gray area. She’s dividing the world into good and bad now, disregarding everything in between. Even in the end, when she sees that Abby is just a normal human being like Ellie is, taking care of Lev, she feels obliged to kill her. 

Jesse and JJ don’t represent her blind hate. They represent the love and people in her life that still make her happy and care about her. The life she could have, if she were able to “leave it all behind”. She doesn’t associate them with pain and loss. 

Only when she finally has the choice to kill Abby, she remembers the last conversation she had with Joel - and it was about forgiveness. But it was not only about deciding to forgive him. It was about understanding that the world isn’t as simple as good and bad, black or white. People are more than that, just like Joel was neither a hero, nor a villain. Just like Abby is neither a hero nor a villain. 

Of course, by deciding to break the cycle of revenge, which is the most obvious topic in the game, she spares Lev of going through the same pain Ellie and Abby did. But I think something deep inside her forgives Abby for what she’s done. I think Ellie understands that Abby isn’t just a bad person, just like Joel wasn’t. By stopping there, Ellie undergoes the growth not to be like Abby and kill the one who’s responsible for her loss, just like Abby grew and decided not to kill Dina despite the fact that Ellie killed Mel. 

And she finally lets her mask slip. When she decides to let Abby live, she finally accepts that Joel is dead and “reconciles” with him. She decides not to turn into something she’s not and let her grief and hate get the better of her. Ellie understands what she’s done, the mistake she’s made. How she’s lost herself and how she wronged Dina. 

And that’s when she can finally draw his eyes. 

[spnopineapples]

ALRIGHT PEOPLE. I'm READY.

LAST OF US 2 SPOILERS!!!!

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Are ya gone yet? Have you scrolled past if you don't want to see?

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Alright. *CRACKS KNUCKLES AND NECK* Let's jump on into this!

First off I'm done with the game.

Second off..... THIS GAME WAS FUCKING PHENOMENAL!!! 10/10

The ending litterally killed me. Finished 2 hours ago,talked the ear off of my best friend for about 1 and a half hours and gushed and lamented the whole time. Cried for about 20 minutes by myself. Had an existential crisis. So on so on. And now I'm here, in the middle of an online meeting cause, ya know, Corona, muted with no camera on, because I'd much rather be typing out this dissertation.

Y'ALL. Go play this. It is AWESOME.

Now for the third and probably longest bit of this. My rebuttal to the bad reviewers:

I still contend that the bad reviews are 1 of 2 reasons with a little of a 3rd mixed in to both. #1. Being that people are pissed they killed off Joel and think the story did a disservice to the characters. #2. People are pissed because they think Naughty Dog was pushing a liberal agenda with a heavily muscled female antagonist/protagonist, a gay Ellie, and a transgender side character, Lev. The mixed in #3 is the extensive violence which I do contend was a lot. Yeah LoU1 was definitely violent, but damned this one got dark. And that's something coming from me because I am a fan of gratuitous violence.

Let me tackle these real quick. I'll be brief about #2 here though.

IN REBUTTAL TO REASON #2 - If you honestly didn't like LoU2 because of this reason (which I explained in my previous post about how IT IS logical that Abby be built the way she is and how Naughty Dog was definitely NOT shoving this or ANY of the others i mentioned in anyone's face in my opinion) you're in need of some corrective thinking and you should re-evaluate your ideas and realize that your opinion on these social issues doesn't matter and is wrong. None of these things make the game story illogical or bad. Bottom line: there are people like this in the world and their stories in this game drive the plot. It doesn't belittle the previous games or detract from the current game at all. You're just bigoted. Calm your tits and don't play the game if it upsets you so much. Pull a Seth and bury the hatchet. Make some steak sandwiches.

But I'm going to give the benefit of the doubt and imagine that the majority of the bad reviewers were more pissed at reason #1, Joel's Death. But real quick.

IN REBUTTAL OF REASON #3 -If you hated the game because of the amount of violence, do realize that the violence was the point of the story this time AND IT WAS SUPPOSE TO BE A DRAG ON YOUR SOUL. LoU1 was about finding love again in a violent world. Love being in the foreground and the violence a backdrop, which is why the violence didn't feel so in your face even though it was PLENTY violent. LoU2 was about succumbing to the violent world because of losing love. Violence being the foreground and tainted love (insert song here ya bastards) being the backdrop that drives it. AND HERE IS MY FAVORITE PART PLEASE READ THIS PART AT LEAST IF YOU DECIDE NOT TO READ THE WHOLE THING.

Think of the two endings. LoU1 WAS a story ABOUT finding love in a violent world BUT ENDED with Joel committing a violent act to protect his love (killing all the Fireflies, 1 of which was Abby's father and the driving reason for LoU2's main plot, and DOOMING THE WORLD TO INFECTION AND DAMNING HUMANITY). LoU2 WAS a story ABOUT losing love and reacting with violence BUT ENDED with Ellie doing a peaceful act (allowing Abby to leave alive with Lev) because of the love she had for Joel (that flashback scene of Joel playing guitar when Ellie decided to forgive him for the violence and lie at the end of LoU1).

DO Y'ALL SEE HOW IMPORTANT THAT IS?

There NEEDED to be a LoU2 because LoU1 ended with violence and a lie. LoU2 fulfilled this with an ending of forgiveness driven by a memory of love from the first game.

I've read a lot of the bad reviews where they mention the violence became too much and ruined the game. And that Ellie wouldn't act like that. First off Ellie totally would, fuck off with that noise. Second off THAT'S THE POINT. This was a story about how revenge is cyclic violence and it doesn't end until someone makes the decision to end it!

BOTTOM LINE: I felt ragged 2/3's of the way thru this game because of the violence, but that's the point of the story. Revenge is not worth it. Especially when it's with people like Abby and Ellie. Because neither are villians. AND BOY HOWDY DID IT TAKE ME A LONG TIME TO COME TO TERMS WITH THIS. Because I HATED ABBY FOR KILLING JOEL. When I first started playing her I DID NOT WANT TO BECAUSE I WAS ANGRY WITH HER. I litterraly felt dirty playing her. But this game did something amazing to get me around to appreciating her character. NOT LIKING HER CHARACTER, but appreciating. And I will tackle this in my next rebuttal.

IN REBUTTAL OF REASON # 1 - Let's talk about Joel's death.

I WILL NOT LIE TO YALL.

I was mightily upset about his death. At first I thought it to be a disservice to a beloved character. But then I realized something. See above about Joel's actions. He killed all those Fireflies and DAMNED THE WORLD. Not only that it is specifically mentioned in both LoU1 and in this game that Joel and Tommy did horrible things before they met Ellie and before Jackson. JOEL WAS NOT A GOOD GUY.

I think what people are upset about is the REALNESS of this game. A lot of other game developers don't do what Naughty Dog has done. Naughty Dog did not shy away from Joel's character flaws and his past wrongs! In fact, all the user's that use the reason for hating the game as "too many plotholes" Y'ALL FUCKING PLAYIN. More on that later.

Back to what I was saying about realness. In the real world, Joel's death and the brutality of it and suddenness of it is actually a very logical event that would occur. Abby doesn't KNOW Joel like we do. All she knows is this guy killed her father and a lot of her friends and damned humanity in the process. LoU1 is not a happy game. Might I remind yall about Sam and Henry? But his death was not "sudden". And it didn't steal Joel from us. I actually really enjoyed all the flashbacks to him. We got more than enough time and I actually feel as if the time we got with Joel was better because of his death so early in the game. DO NOT TELL ME THAT THAT NATURAL HISTORY MUSEUM FLASHBACK DIDN'T FULFILL EVERY FEELING NEED.

And now for the wrap up - the big hangup that I see of those who hated Joel's Death is that the story didn't redeem it. They couldn't "buy" Ellie forgiving Abby at the end.

As I stated I will not lie. I was worried for about 2/3s of the way through this game that the bad user reviews were accurate and that the story sucked because I couldn't see where the writers were going. All I saw was senseless death of characters that I had loved and that I was coming to love. I straight up love Jesse by the way. It wasn't until Abby met Lev and Yara that I started seeing the majesty of this revenge story.

BECAUSE THE TRUTH IS I HATE FUCKING REVENGE STORIES WHERE THE MAIN CHARACTER IS LIKE, NO, THEY WOULDN'T WANT ME TO DO THIS. Before this game I'd be like "miss me with that bullshit" but after today I would say "give it to me like this." This actually felt real. And boy was it raw. Guys, the reason I started forgiving Abby is because of her decision to help Yara and Lev. Because it was her attempt to right the wrong of killing Joel which was eating her alive. Her and Owen and Mel. Guys. She is Joel. Why the hell do you think Joel did what he did for Ellie in the first game? Because he liked her at first site? BULLSHIT. He did it because Tess told him to do something good for once. IF YOU ARE UPSET WITH ABBY THEN YOU SHOULD BE UPSET WITH JOEL. I get it. Abby had to earn that with her story because at the beginning I'd have said leave her to the clickers. BUT CONTRARY TO THE USERS OF THIS REASONING SHE DID DESERVE HER REDEMPTION. The game shows over and over and over again that Abby isn't some mustache twirling villian who deserves instant death. She is complicated. She cares and she hates and she loves. She knows what's right and wrong and tries to do right as much as possible but she's human and she gets angry. Anger means you care.. and she cared about her father. She's a good human too because good humans feel shitty about doing shitty things and if you are observant at all you can tell immediately with Abby, as we play her in her Seattle Day 1, that she has doubts and isn't comfortable with her role in how Joel died. SHE DESERVED BEING FORGIVING BY ELLIE AT THE END. AND IN THE SAME TOKEN ELLIE DESERVED FORGIVING HER AND BEING FORGIVEN BY ABBY. It is very clearly obvious by the end of the game that Ellie could not reconcile her revenge killings with her best memories of Joel or with the actions she had to take to get there. Also it is of very important note here that Ellie stopped drowning Abby because of a flash image of Joel playing guitar. And then later on actually seeing the memory associated with that image that stopped her you can understand why Ellie did stop outside of just being as tired of violence as Abby was. The memory shows Joel and Ellie agreeing to try to forgive Joel for lying to her about the Fireflies and denying her her purpose. All this the night before he is killed. Note what Joel says. "If God gave me the chance to do it all over again. I would have done the same thing." Just that fucking devotion he has for Ellie shines through and she really understands his reasons for what he did. Still doesn't feel as if she can forgive him. THAT IS IMPORTANT. She DOES NOT agree with his decision. She understands it, but doesn't agree. But still decides to try and forgive. GUYS. That's exactly what she understands about Abby. Joel was sorry but he still would have done it. Same with Abby. There's a reason that image popped up as she was killing Abby and not the image of his beaten up face.

Remember that line from LoU2? Tess said it. As she is confessing to Joel that she was bit. "We're shitty people, Joel. It's been that way for a long time!" And Joel says "No, we are survivors!"

Y'all don't think for one second that Joel wouldn't have gone after that Soldier who shot Sarah if Tommy hadn't shot him? Y'all kidding yourselves.

Abby realizes this truth in the end. She realizes the part she played in enhancing and playing into the fucking violence and shittiness. Staining and tainting herself in the process. She just wanted to be clean. And Ellie just wanted to be clean.

Bombing this game is doing a fucking disservice to the emotional complexity of this story. It's been a long time since I've been that emotionally twisted.

This game isn't preachy. This game makes something clear that alot of other revenge stories get wrong. Revenge makes otherwise good people do shitty things and the shitty things taint us for the rest of our lives. At least Ellie and Abby stopped themselves before they tainted all their being.

Yeah we're shitty people. But we don't have to be.

[a-shakespearean-in-paris]

I’m writing out all my thoughts about LOU2 but here’s my most prevalent issues:

The game wants you to like Abby and clearly thinks she’s the bigger person for letting Ellie and Dina go, and Ellie is bad and therefore gets punished in the end by losing her fingers and idyllic life because she just had to go after Abby. EVEN THOUGH there was no indication she wanted to until Tommy showed up. And, in a completely out of character moment, Tommy guilt trips Ellie into getting revenge, fueling her already bad guilt complex. Ellie is bad and no good because “revenge bad” and Abby gets to walk away, scot-free, even though she displays less guilt for what she does. Before she can kill Dina, Ellie  says “she’s pregnant,” and Abby revels in it, only stopping when her moral compass Lev tells her not to. Meanwhile, Ellie had no idea Mel was pregnant, and only killed her and Owen in self-defense. She throws up after she opens up the convenient jacket Mel wears. Heck, she only killed Alice in self-defense too, but the game wants to make you feel really bad for that one via the petting her and playing fetch with her as Abby. 

Ellie is also VERY shaken after she tortures Nora, in a way that Abby never displays. She kills her fellow WLF members with seemingly no problem and isn’t shaken up in the slightest after brutally killing Joel, despite the fact that Ellie is crying and begging her to stop. As a girl who loved her father...you’d think maybe she’d put the pieces together and realize that Joel is loved, and maybe he saved Ellie because he loved her, and maybe then she’d have some regrets about killing him. But nope. If Druckman wants some sort of “violence and revenge is never the answer” message, he didn’t adequately think of this element in the equation through properly, as Abby has no problems with her initial action what so ever. Heck, through bits of dialogue in her opening sections, we learn she also likes killing Seraphites and torturing them, which further gives clues to her nature. But since they’re just a crazy cult, I guess the violence is okay. 

On a related note: the whole game seems to think Joel and his morally grey deed at the end of the first game was no good and indisputably bad, because not only did he kill an innocent doctor, but he took away Ellie’s choice. The big problem with that? the whole situation is riddled with hypocrisy. The fireflies certainly didn’t give Ellie a choice. She came to them knocked out and they were going to do the surgery then and there without asking her. WHICH THIS GAME SHOWS YOU. Now, we as the players know that Ellie wants to die with meaning and would do the right thing (which IDK, seems different from the first game and an almost retcon, because in that game ,I don’t think it was that she wanted to have a life/death with meaning necessarily, but rather she had a guilt complex about living when so many people she met died--like Riley, Sam, Tess, etc.) No one was giving Ellie a choice in this moment, not just Joel. That was the tragedy of it all. 

I loved the ending of the first game because Joel’s choice raised so many interesting questions about parent and child relationships, and who gets to make the choices in those situations, even if the whole thing was morally grey. Because of that, I absolutely loathe this take on the events in LOU2. I loathe the manipulation the game does to get you to like Abby and I don’t like that the game presents this “two sides of the same coin” thing when Ellie is riddled with guilt for her actions and Abby isn’t. Now if Abby had some regret about what she did to Joel, maybe instead of the two of them brawling at the end (and wow, what a way to progress feminism Neil!) the two of them talked, and Ellie revealed how much she loved Joel and he died before they could fully make up, and Abby comes to understand that her revenge maybe wasn’t worth it, I would have had a better reaction. Instead, I was left with a really, really bad taste in my mouth. 

[deviant-nomad]

Humanity in The Last of Us: Part II

Notes from YouTube video: “The Unmistakable Humanity of The Last of Us: Part II”

We find no resolution or satisfying expression from Abby. We can’t tell exactly what she feels, but it’s definitely not what she expected to feel. This is where the real story of The Last of Us Part 2 begins.

All of these people have normal names, live ordinary lives.

Of course they’re normal people. You want us to feel bad, but you also never gave us a choice in whether or not we could kill them. WWhy should we feel bad now? This is our resounding internal dialogue. 

We resist sympathizing with the perceived enemy, the ‘other.’ We don’t like seeing nor understanding the relatable cracks in their humanity, or how that leads them to take actions we understand. On some deeper level, beneath the cognitive dissonance of our loyalty to Joel/Ellie, we want to confide in Abby, even if we won’t admit it.

The violent, apathetic, brutal forces that run the world don’t have to run us. We can be more - we can be individuals. 

(beginning with the rescue of Yara/Lev, the ‘Other’ of Abby’s world)

There’s a clash between the loving ideals the Seraphites stand for, and the violence twisted from those ideals.

The path to one’s descent is met with a self-destructive price, the path out of darkness can be equally treacherous.

It was never about guilting the player over the people they killed as Ellie. it’s about understanding who the Wolves are to Abby, and just exactly what she’ll be giving up, in defiance of them. 

Day 3 of Abby’s story is one of Sacrifice. The sacrifice of Abby and Lev’s friends and families, our loyalties to factions, and both Abby’s and our own egos. This is the price of choosing empathy in an apathetic world, and we will pay it to the bloody end. We know both of these factions are capable of showing love and understanding for the people around them, and yet so many lives go to waste in campaigns of destructions. We humans are capable of horrifying atrocities in the name of benevolent causes. Even in a world, where working to survive is more important than ever, we only end up repeating these mistakes...over, and over, and over again.

This is about feeling the raw confusion of pain, and how it possesses us to do dark, horrible things to one another. It truly takes a loving voice (Lev) to calm our frustration. 

The hate that once drove Ellie, corroded down to its base element: fear. After all that Ellie has been through, it may never be enough to bury the hatchet...Every reason she’s had to live in peace is undone by the obsession of avenging Joel. All of it is in vain - even her relationship to Dina. We know none of this is true, but we also understand why Ellie thinks otherwise. It can’t have been for nothing. Time for one last act of destruction.

Why give up on revenge when we’ve come this far? Why, in spite of the lives we’ve destroyed, the friends we’ve destroyed, or the mistakes we’ve made. Why let it all go to waste now? 

For if Ellie kills Abby, she’ll lose her most important opportunity to understand Joel: a patient, loving man. Who saved Ellie not because of his own selfish wants, but because of his selfless love for her. 

She finds clarity. The same lesson that Joel and Abby already learned. 

It’s about love. Not only the love Ellie can receive, but the love she can give the world. That’s her purpose. Giving up your ego in a moment of superiority, is to accept and understand that Abby is not so different from her. A conviction that is rooted in empathy.

Interpretation of game’s title: “The Last of Us” referring to Joel’s generation. The responsibility of ensuring that humanity goes on falls on them. Responsibility of teaching them not only how to survive the hostile reality, but to learn from the past generation’s sins, create lasting change, and un-fuck the world that was given to them. You are passing on what you’ve learned to the next generation. All of this culminates in the final decision to destroy the Fireflies and rescue Ellie. 

I choose to believe that the end of the game is about finding redemption: Ellie fulfilling her purpose as an example of empathy and change in a dark world. A promise so great that it can’t be played like all the other promises on Joel’s guitar. 

The game wants us to think about what we’re doing to change tomorrow. How can we act, not out of anger or aggression, but with empathy/compassion to make a truly better world?

For the older generation, it’s the responsibility of being a positive example for the young. 

For the younger generation, it’s the exasperating responsibility of inheriting the problems a previous generation have handed down to us...racial inequality, economic disparity, women’s rights, mental health, and the never-ending battle against apathy and ignorance. The horrors of becoming an adult in the 21st century.

But because of the game’s honesty toward this waking anxiety, few pieces of art have left me more sure that there is a way, and that I do have a purpose.

No matter how confused we may be, no matter the venomous obsessions cloud our thoughts (like moths swarming a flame)...or how may mistakes we make...we can always try again.

That is the unmistakable humanity of The Last of Us: Part 2. 

[purplesunrisefanfic]

“this is the only way to keep you safe.”

Okay, let’s try another direct bash out of a Drabble or ficlet, because they’re kinda fun. :D There will be typos et cetera.

WARNINGS: (written after the fic) Surprising no one, I wrote y’all some angst and some kinky kinky smut.

MAJOR warning for anyone with claustrophia or triggers around imprisonment, abadonment or kidnapping. @ me if you want more info to decide, but I would suggest you consider skipping this fic if those are issues for you.

Warning for consent: While I try to write things in with an atmosphere that implies such things are present, I don’t write all the details of negotiations, safeword agreements or other preagreed variations from normal rules of consent into every fic I write. Please assume that these things are there in the background of their established relationship, this is consensual play in a context of having done this type of stuff together before and having agreed to how they will handle what counts as a yes.

General warnings for vague mentions of violence/the threats of the TLOU universe, sexually explicit swearing and for various kinky things. More detailed warnings re:the kinky things would kinda be spoilers so @ me if you want or need these. And as always, ANY reader, for ANY of my fics, ANYTIME is also just generally welcome to reach out to ask if you have less commonly warned-for triggers that you wanna check for.

This Is The Only Way To Keep You Safe (Abby/Ellie)

“This is fucking bullshit! What the fuck—“

“This is the only way to keep you safe, Ellie.”

“How the fuck is fucking trapping me down here supposed to keep me safe?!”

“You think they won’t still want you? That base is full of Salt Lake vets. Someone will recognise you. Down here, they won’t get the chance.”

“If it’s so dangerous, then what the hell are you thinking taking Lev—“

“Lev will be fine. He’s not immune. They don’t slaughter random people—“

“Just vivisect the special kids, huh?”

Abby ignored the jibe, still not sure what to make of the “other side” of the story.

“Have you forgotten how badly we need the help? They adored my father, and I don’t see that we have a better shot of getting what we need than to hope they’ll do Jerry’s daughter a favour.”

“I get that, but I don’t see how that plan equals that we should be locking me in freakin’ basement.”

“Ellie.” Abby waited a moment, wanting to try and get her into listening mode.

“You will be alone. For days. In an area where the only people who survived the Rattler base destruction have seen that you were bitten. They will recognise you. You’re not exactly wanting for being memorable. In a group, it’s less obvious but alone? You will be seen, you will be recognised. And, if by some miracle you don’t get shot in head for being presumed to be infected, then word of that will travel. The Fireflies will get wind and come looking themselves, or someone will be smart enough to try and trade you for the bounty.”

“Fine. I’ll keep a low profile. I’ll stay quiet and make sure I’m not seen.”

Abby stopped organising her rucksack and turned to make eye contact. “Ellie,” she said, looking at her with affectionate skepticism.

Under Abby’s gaze, she grew a little awkward, both from the tension and from how much she didn’t like being called on her obvious bullshit.

“When are you quiet?”

“Uh? Excuse me? Who is it that knifes a room full of clickers alone without a single one of them noticing while you and Lev just fucking wait around?”

“And how long does that take?”

Her question met with silence, Abby continues. “And what do you do afterward?”

She raises her eyebrow as she asks, but still gets a reply of silence.

“Yes. Ellie. You are a fucking machine. I get that. You‘re a stealth master when it suits the battle. But being quiet for days, when most of time you aren’t in combat? No shouting out any cusses? No calling out for ‘any more of you fuckers’?”

Abby’s serious look with her slight raised eyebrow transforms into a look of utter incredulity at the though of Ellie keeping a constant low profile for three whole days.

“And you have a good chance of making it alone out here while we’re gone, I know that too. But not as good as if you stay hidden.”

Unable to actually argue the points, Ellie sticks to silently staring back, nostrils flaring, and clearly seething. Abby gives her a minute, returning to packing her bag. Still livid about the situation and not wanting to accept the reality of it, Ellie decides to try some clear bullshit.

“The way you wanna lock me up, I’ll have to kick a whole bookcase over if I need to get out. How much noise will that make?”

Abby sighs wearily. Maybe she should ask the Fireflies to examine her head while she is there, see if there’s a medical reason she’s masochistically fallen for the most stubborn person she’s ever met.

“This basement is well-hidden. There’s no reason to think it will be found even if people search the rest of the house. And you’re not telling me that you couldn’t set things up so that an even army couldn’t survive to the bottom of those stairs, if it came to it. because if we’re agreeing on anything here, it’s that you are more than capable.”

This was getting exhausting. Abby dug deep.

“Could you not just put up with a few days of rest for the sake of my peace of mind, please?”

Ellie was taken aback. Her expression softened as she registered the sincere concern in Abby’s eyes and she reconsidered.

“Okay. I’ll do it. For you.“

She still had to fire a parting shot, though.

“I’m not saying I agree with you, I still think it’s ridiculous, but I’ll do it for you.”

Fuck’s sake, can nothing ever be easy? Well, at least she’d agreed... Abby sighed in relief then gave her a weary “Thank you,” not looking up from her bag.

Ellie started to feel like she’d been kind of a dick. Sorry was not likely to be coming out of her stubborn mouth, but she tried to make some amends.

“Besides,” she spoke with a suggestive grin, “I wouldn’t wanna deny you whatever perverted kicks you’ll get out of holding me captive for three straight days.”

Abby scoffed with some amusement.

“You think this is a sex game?”

Ellie’s expression was full of challenge, “Isn’t it?”

Abby smiled. This was how Ellie got her to overlooked how freakin’ annoying her stubborness was.

“No, it’s a ‘you don’t die horribly at the hands of the many possible foes we have’ game.”

“Meh, that sounds like a crappy game, a sex game would be better.”

The suggestion in Ellie’s voice went straight to Abby’s clit. Her voice took on a flirty edge.

“You wanna make this a sex game?”

Ellie smirked.

“Don’t you?” She fired back.

Then she bit her lip. Purposefully. It seemed she’d decided to go from goading Abby one way to goading her another way. She got more than she bargained for when Abby lunged at her.

Hand behind Ellie’s head to absorb the impact, she slammed her into a wall. Then her hands moved around, holding Ellie’s head in place against the wall, with a grip too tight for Ellie to move forward. She moved her lips to within milimeters of a kiss before she spoke in a husky voice.

“You want three days down here with an ass so sore you can’t sit? Because that can be arranged.”

Ellie tried to suppress a moan, but didn’t manage to fully conceal her reaction. Abby heard her, and was very happy for the opportunity to goad her back.

“Oh, you’d like that, wouldn’t you? Wanna make this a little more fun, El?”

Ellie’s pride overrode her desire, and she attempted a stoic look and a shrug. But Abby could see deeper.

“I think that’s a yes...”

Ellie put her game face on, ready for Abby to strip it away but not quite wanting to bellow out the “Yes” that her body was screaming. Abby started to stroke her fingertips across Ellie’s décolletage, towards her left shoulder. She traced a line down from her shoulder to her arm slowly, and Ellie felt her anticipation creep up a little.

Once she reached Ellie’s wrist, she took hold of her hand, pressing her biceps into the wall and bending her elbow so her forearm stuck out in front of her. Her left hand kept a grip too tight for Ellie fight while she started to trace every line of the intricate tattoo that covered Ellie’s scarred skin and the secrets below it. Using just the nail of her thumb, she slowly dragged the pattern against her girlfriend’s flesh. She made it about halfway before Ellie gave in and audibly whimpered. Then Abby let up for awhile, moving so that Ellie could touch her all over, then strip her naked and eat her out as she laid on the one of beds down in the barracks. She kept her hands on Ellie the whole time as the redhead went down on her, building her arousal with tickles on the sensitive little spots she’d gradually found on Ellie’s neck, shoulders and ears. She sometimes felt Ellie shudder a little on top of her. Perfect.

—

Ellie was gasping from her own desire by the time Abby came. Abby held her for a minutes and tried her best to speak affectionately, something that still made her shy. Once she’d recovered, she picked Ellie up, held her with her face to the wall and started to give her the promised glow on her ass. When she seemed to have finished, Ellie moaned invitingly, wanting Abby’s fingers. But Abby wasn’t finished yet.

“Uh-uh, I thought we said this should hurt for three whole days, didn’t we? It’ll take a little more than that to get you nicely bruised up enough to last for three days.”

—

It wasn’t hardest Ellie had experienced (and her tolerance was this sort of thing was yet another source of stubborn pride, of course) but she was visibly in some pain by the time Abby had finished with her. Pain that only got worse when Abby flipped her around a pressed her back and ass into the wall. Two very strong thighs held Ellie’s leg in place, spread open as she moaned in delight at the delicious agony she felt in her ass. Abby then placed her hands above her own legs, pressing Ellie’s hips into the wall, as she knelt down for a taste of Ellie’s soaked, dribbling cunt.

—

Once she’d edged Ellie with her tongue, she stopped and gave her a kiss on the mouth, sharing the taste that Abby delighted in but Ellie found a little uncomfortable to share with her, especially when Abby’s mouth left her own covered in her juices, her own scent right under her nose. Her cheeks stung as she considered her options: leave it there or lick her own lips and taste herself some more? She decided to leave it, something near primal in her driving an urge to leave the claim Abby had left on her where it was while she felt two fingers slip inside her. Yeah, she thought as she sighed at the touch, she wanted to come just like that, inhaling the memory of Abby’s mouth against her cunt as she felt her fingers thrust inside her and that now rather skilled thumb on her clit.

Abby has a different plan, though. One that earned her a cross between a whimper and a growl from Ellie. She pulled her fingers out and her hand away just in time to frustrate Ellie from her imminent climax. Ellie scowled at Abby as she licked her own fingers clean, enjoying a final taste of the woman she’d miss for the next three days.

“You wanted a sex game, Ellie? Well how about this? Don’t touch yourself while I’m gone. Wait for me to finish what I started.”

Abby began to walk away while Ellie was still gobsmacked, returning to her rucksack to finish preparing for the trip to another island nearby. She prepared slowly, giving Ellie a good chunk of time to consider if she wanted to safeword before Abby left (though she could always do so later on in her journal), but Ellie stayed quiet, her face slowly turning from shock to something that almost resembled glee. Eventually, she spoke up, wanting to signal her agreement without giving Abby an easy time of it.

“I knew the real reason you wanted me down here was pervy.”

Abby didn’t argue, though it was untrue. A little while later she picked up her bag and made her way to the stairs. She kept her goodbye simple, because all the important things had been said before and then said again without words as they’d played.

“I’ll see you in three days.”

[plomujio]

Deserter part 2

Abby and the others were gone for weeks when I suddenly heard some soldiers calling their names. I sighed of relief and I headed for them. After opening the door of my workshop I saw all of them alive and I joined them. I approached them and I met Abby's eyes. She seemed exhausted.

"Mi mejor amiga ! "

Manny hugged me by surprise. I hugged him back and I saw Mel who seemed angry so I asked her what's wrong.

"Mel are you alright ?"

Mel looked at me and I saw that she wanted to say something but she held her sentence back.

"I'm fine. Just a little tired. I go to sleep."

"I will join you after." Said Owen.

I left Manny and then I hugged Abby who was quiet and awkward. She hugged me too.

"I'm glad you're fine. What happened out there ?"

"I will tell you inside. I need a cup of coffee."

"Oh ? Right sorry."

Abby and I left Jordan, Nora and Manny and we went to the cafeteria. I went and got her a cup of coffee and I offered her the coffee. I sat in front of her and she started drinking her coffee while I was eating my bagel.

"So ?"

"I found him and his brother while I was attacked by a horde of infected, they helped me and then I brought them to the chalet where the others were. I shot him and then Mel took care of him and I tortured him but then a girl entered in the room. She was from Jackson too. She was screaming and begging me to spare him but I did it anyway. Then the others wanted to kill her and his brother but Owen and I stopped them."

"Awesome." I murmured.

"And now we're here."

"And Mel ? Why does she seem angry ?"

"She didn't approved how I managed the situation."

"That's understanding. She's a doctor, she doesn't torture people, she heals them."

"Yeah well she wanted to kill the girl and Joel's brother so I don't think that she has the right to be angry at me."

"Really ? That doesn't seem like Mel."

"She kills Scars every day but all of you are considering her like a saint."

"That's right. You think the girl will try to avenge Joel ?"

"I don't think so."

"And his brother ?"

"Nope."

"Good !"

I heard someone approaching us so I turned over and I saw Jordan.

"What's up Jordan ?"

"Isaac wants you to go to the hospital with Nora and others for cleaning it and taking all of the medical stuff that you could found."

"Okay. Tell Nora I'm coming. I have to take some stuff in room."

"Okay I'll tell her."

"Thanks Jordan."

He gave me a wink and he left us.

"The hospital ? Why does we need more medical stuff ?"

"We always need medical stuff Abby."

"Yeah but we never clean the hospital for a reason it's because it's the epicentre of the epidemic, it's dangerous."

"Yeah that's why we clean the upper floors, we're not stupid Abby, It's not because it's an order coming from Isaac that we will go risking our lives."

"Just be careful. Alright ?"

"I will be."

I stood up and I left Abby. I opened the door and I went to my room to take a bag with some food and clothes. It will take time to clean the hospital certainly days and I went outside for joining Nora. I saw her in the car with others soldiers.

"We are waiting for you."

"Well I'm here."

I got in the car on the passenger seat next to Nora. She drove and I put some music.

__________________________3 days after____________________________

I was carrying boxes when I heard a noise coming from behind me. I put the boxes on the ground and I drew my gun. Lately intruders entered on our territory and killed some of our soldiers so I am wary. I waited for the person and then I heard boxes falling. I turned around and I saw Abby. I could see a mark on her neck.

"Abby ?"

"Zoya ?"

"What are you doing here ? And what happened to you ?"

"That's a long story and I don't have time. I need medical stuff."

She offered me a list where I could see that they were medical stuff writing on it. It seems to be Mel's handwriting.

"Why do you need that ?"

"I can't tell you. I'm sorry."

"Abby."

She looked at me in silence so I gave up.

"I'm sorry but all of the medical stuff that you want is already on the way to Isaac. I can't help you."

"You are sure that there is no more medical stuff on this list that is staying in this hospital ?"

"Well, I know that in the below levels there is medical stuff who is staying certainly the one who are on your list, but you said it yourself it's the epicentre of the epidemic. I don't know what you will found there."

"I need this stuff. I have to go. Thanks."

"Wait !"

I took her hand and I looked at her.

"Who's hurt ?"

"I don't have time."

"You're losing time in not telling me what happened."

"You will certainly think I'm crazy but it's a Scar."

I release her hand and I tried to assimilate what she was saying to me.

"His name is Lev. He and his sister Yara saved me from the others Scars and Yara is hurt badly. I need medical stuff for her. Mel and Owen are with them at the aquarium, Mel will operate on her."

"Then go. You don't have time for talking."

Abby smiled at me and then she took back her list and she started leaving the room.

"If you want, you can join us at the aquarium when you'll have finished."

"I'll be there."

"Good."

She smiled and I smiled back and then she left the room and she went to the isolation rooms. I kept cleaning the last boxes that I had, for at least half an hour when I felt a knife under my neck. I raised my hands and I heard her talking.

"Where is Abby ?"

"Take this knife out of my neck and maybe I'll tell you."

"Okay."

She removed her knife and she turned back and I saw her aiming her gun on me.

"Where is she ?"

"Who are you ?"

She approached her gun from my head and she grumbled.

"Last chance."

"Answer me and I'll answer you."

"That's not how it's work. I'm the one with the gun on your head so your answer me or I'll blew your fucking brain out."

With my foot I pushed her hard and she fell on the ground. I had time to take my gun so I aimed at her forehead and she has her gun on my forehead too.

"Now I can blew your fucking brain out too. The difference is that you want an information when I just want to kill you so what will stop me to do it ?"

"Listen. I just need to know where is Abby. I don't care about anyone else."

"Really ? Then why are my friends dead ? You are the intruder, you killed a lot of our soldiers and you say that you are here only for Abby ?"

"They were in my way."

"Well you're in way too."

"I will have time to kill you, you know."

"So what ? I don't care if I die, at least I would have protected people I love."

"She deserves this after what she did and I won't stop until she's dead."

I thought about what she was saying and I finally understand but while I was thinking she punched me in the face with her gun and I fell against the wall. She disarmed me and she knelt in front of me.

"Now we can talk. Where is Abby ?"

She put her gun against my neck.

"Go to hell Ellie."

I saw her being unsettled. She was clearly not ready that I use her name.

"How do you know my name ?"

"I know that Abby killed Joel Miller and you seem really upset about his death. I know that are immune and that Joel took you out of the hospital after he killed a bunch of people."

She seemed shocked and I tried to catch my gun but she twisted my arm.

"You're a Firefly ?"

"Yeah. I was there this day with my sister. I hid but my sister didn't. He was shooting anything that moves, she took a stray bullet and she died. Then I saw him getting out with you in his arms."

"But you didn't try to avenge your sister ?"

"Why would I ? Abby was there and I thank her everyday for killing him.

To be totally honest it's a total liar and I only said that for destabilized her. I loved my sister and she loved me but when she died I didn't find the necessity to murder her killer. I'm not like Abby and I don't think that this is what my sister would have wanted. I think it's also not what her father would have wanted but it's Abby choice not Jerry. I saw her flinch and I took her knife and I put it into her shoulder. She grumbled and she took it off and then she looked at me. I probably look miserable but I don't give a fuck. I'm gonna die and nobody is here to save me.

"You all deserve what is happening to you. If you don't want to tell where she is then it's okay I know that Nora is here too, maybe she tell me where Abby is. I didn't want to hurt you at first because you didn't do anything to him but I changed my mind."

"You are easily irritable but you have to know something Abby will come to you if you do this."

"Good."

I saw her taking her knife and I tried to struggle but she was holding my head she slowly pulled her knife in my throat and I started crying because of the pain. She pulled her knife out and I tried to breathe but I couldn't. I looked at her in distress but I just heard her saying three words.

"You deserve this."

_________________________Abby's Pov_____________________________

I was going back up when I suddenly saw bloody footprints. I drew my gun and I followed the footprints. After a while I noticed that the footprints were leading to the room where Zoya was before. I slowly approached the room and I opened the door and I saw her. She was laying on the ground. She has been stabbed in the throat. I knelt next to her and I tried to feel her pulse in her wrist even if I know that this was useless because she was already dead.

"No...no... I'm so sorry..."

I looked next to her and I saw that she has wrote something on the ground with her blood. I moved my head for reading what she wrote.

"JOEL

GIRL

CAREFUL"

I stood up and I closed her eyes.

"I will avenge you."

And then I left the room and I joined Lev who didn't understand what happened. After I will have save Yara, I will go kill her and nothing could ever stop me.

[suffering-and-happy-about-it]

Lost Hope (Favored Ones, Part 27.)

Series description: Many things were surely fucked up in the year 2038, but no-one ever told anyone how all of it went down. What happened before a group of people left for Seattle to handle personal matters? Why did one girl refuse to leave all of it be? And why there were so many dead in the end?

Quote for the chapter: "Don’t go chasing waterfalls...” - TLC

For those who might not catch my drift: chasing waterfalls = chasing the reader.

Part summary: Coming terms with yourself is something that is important. It’s something that you need to do in order to become the better version of yourself. Abby almost finished the process of coming to terms with all the things that were happening around her, something else made her thirst for revenge wake up again.

A/N: This chapter is from A B B Y ‘ S  P O V. Be aware of that. I won’t be sorry for it, I learned to understand and to love Abby, even if I was against her when I played the game. Lev is an amazing character too. And now Mel is alive, there’s a possibility to change how Abby’s story will continue from this point.

Warnings: Depiction of torture, bone breaking, depiciton of blood and manslaughter, anxiety, rage, anger, a bit of fluff at the end.

Word count: 4.8 K

Tagging:   @nemodoren @xxgoldenhour @missdictatorme @davnwillcome @pickleriiick @jodiereedus22 @gladiosamicitias @tamkashi @eternallyvenus @avengerssstuff @fangirl-inthe-us @avery-miller @mikah-writes @mad-hatter-98 @sadiaafrin99 @flavorishy @gabymiller

Series master list: H E R E

Joel Miller’s playlist for the bonfire occasions: H E R E

Youtube playlists: JACKSON DAYS | SEATTLE DAYS

Seattle, day three - evening:

The sea seemed to be serene and calm at the time their boat had taken off, it was quiet and the breeze was cold. This peaceful feeling could be simply also affected by everything they've been through so far. Even from the proximity they currently were from the island, they could still see Haven slowly burning down to the ground. Sometimes, the woman operating the boat would swear that she could hear the people screaming and guns firing. It was just the ghost of the sacred place haunting her brain, yet it was still there.

Lev, for the first half of an hour on the sea, was clinging onto the jacket Abby landed him. Then, the serene and gentle moves of the ocean made him fall asleep. The boy was now pressed into the small area between Abby's ankles, napping before they'd be back to the aquarium. The kid must've been exhausted - both emotionally and physically. That kid, who was now safely laying there squeezed into the tightest space he shouldn't be even able to fit, had killed his mother in self-defense. That kid watched his sister being shot to pieces. And he made it even though the despair, pain, and exhaustion.

It was weird to know that now, they were safe. No-one was after them. And as soon as they'd hit the aquarium, Lev, Owen, and Mel were about to leave Seattle for good in the search for the fireflies of Santa Barbara. Owen was asking Abby to join them while Melanie, with all the, despise she carried inside, had told her that once she, her boyfriend, and that Scars kids will leave Seattle, she will never want to see her goddamned face again. But now, things could change and maybe, for Lev, Abby could leave too.

That night, she had seen her family and friends being killed in the passion of the fight. For those who kids, she stood up to the only everlasting authority she blindly followed for the last couple of years - and Isaac was now killed, his corpse was rotting somewhere on the Seraphites island and Abby hoped that his body would be eaten by some wild animals to end his life in the shame he deserved. The time of WLF was coming to a sure end.

Abby's problem with the situation was as follows: soldiers were seemingly remorse-less characters lead by their general, Isaac for this instance, who just did what they were told. And for the most part, it was true. Yet, honestly, nothing hit Abby as personally as walking through the Seraphite settlement, following Lev's sister around. She, and the other WLFs, were used to seeing the best out of the best, the best warriors the Scars were able to train. And this hit different. These weren't the soldiers anywhere in sight - these were women and children, even men and other farmers who were not trained in combat - innocent people who were barely able to protect themselves were massacred ever since the WLF attack was started. That wasn't right at all. The things WLF has done on the island were wrong in every way possible.

It was all based around the battle of Seattle, which was going on for years now with occasional pauses, of course. Neither of the sides were good or bad in the situation. It was just a matter of habit - one side attacked, the other attacked back. One side overstepped the boundaries, the other reacted to this. It was this way for more than five years. Seattle was in this war ever before the time Abby and her friends arrived. And for that, she had never seen the true meaning of peaceful time in the city.

Abby wasn't looking around - the only things she saw were the ones directly in front of her eyes. She wasn't able to look behind her orders, she never needed to think about what she was doing, she just did what she was told. Until the moment she entered Jackson - and until the moment she met Lev and Yara. Jackson was a wild experience on its own.

Their small family was broken way before Jackson - Owen and Mel were now dating. And given the history of Abby and Owen, he was seeing her less and less. The final nail in the coffin being Mel's pregnancy. Nora and Whitney were taking every mission they could just to avoid her, the hospital being the last place Abby would ever see them. This left Manny being the last friend who remained by her side after Jackson was done. In the last few days, they were brought together after a long time in one way or another, but all Abby could thank was a weird coincidence of chances.

And there, there were the two siblings Abby met on her journey - Yara and Lev. At the moment, Abby had anyone except Lev - Yara was shot and killed by Abby's people during their escape from the island. It didn't matter that Abby tried to tell everyone about the kids not being any kind of threat to their cause. But it didn't matter - Yara was shot. In answer, Abby shot back at Isaac. Now, he was dead for real. She heard one of the radio communications over the WLF channel. She had done everything for the boy. Abby quite literally had sacrificed her whole known world for a boy she barely knew.

Even though all of what happened, Abby felt that every turn she made during their way revealing over the last three days, that every word and every choice set her on the right path. Now, maybe, she could get on the boat with Lev, Mel, and Owen, setting on her way to find the Fireflies again.

There was still the whole 'hunt Joel Miller down' matter. Abby was aware of the loose threads and unfinished business there was. It felt very unsatisfying, knowing she will most likely never get her revenge on the man. Her brain accepted the information some time ago. There was no climax to the whole hunt started by a piece of information given to her by an old Firefly named Eugene. The last four years were coming in vain. Was it even worth it at that point? Her family was broken to pieces, she had a kid to protect and once Lev leaves with Mel and Owen, she won't probably have any use no more. Well, if that would happen, she would travel back to Jackson. She would try to find Joel again. And Abby knew that once the guards on the gates will see her in the distance, she will be dead in the next minute.

It was more or less about coming to terms with how things were now. Before the mission to Jackson, she was sure that her life is already over. And she was sure that the only thing having the power to start it again was the murder of Joel Miller. The revenge murder if you will. That opinion was changed the moment she accepted Lev and Yara as her people. These two were just kids. Fucking kids in this fucked up world. And when Abby could keep them safe, why wouldn't she keep them safe? Joel Miller killed her dad and this was something she couldn't come around - but even if the old man wasn't dead, Abby tried to reconsider the things happening in the last few weeks, more importantly over the last two days.

Now, she wasn't out solely to revenge her father. She now had someone to protect. There was someone she needed to stay put for. It was a small family, it was sure as hell a broken one, but it was her family. No matter what Joel fucking Miller was doing, he was her last priority now. To be honest, Abby was just glad she's alive. And she'd be even more glad once she'll finally get out of Seattle - one way, on Owen's boat, or another, getting killed by the Jackson citizens. Abby was ready.

With the last remnants of her energy, she made sure the boat stays put before she started to wake Lev up. - “Hey, sleepyhead. Wake up.” - She whispered with a soft smile, nudging Lev’s shoulder as the boy started to massage his eyes. - “We’re at the aquarium. Come on. Let’s get dry.” - Abby arched her eyebrows, showing Lev another assuring smile. All she was trying to do was to keep Lev calm for now.

For sure, the boy will be freaking out for one way or another, but they didn’t have time for panic attacks at the moment. Slowly, they both walked back to the aquarium's back entrance, beaten up like two dogs. And Abby was fine with that. They were finally safe inside the building.

With a yawn, she was about to unlock the door leading to the improvised surgeon room, only to be met by the resistance of the wooden door, which never had happened before. Naturally, it piqued her interest. She tried to press harder, but it didn't lead anywhere. Mentioning for Lev to hide behind the corner, Abby started to smash her way inside. It took a few big blows with her shoulder before the door moved at least an inch. After a while, the barricade finally eased and fell on the ground. It was the damn ventilation shaft. Why in the hell had this fallen on the ground? Just as she furrowed upon thinking about the shaft, Lev noticed something else. His palm tugged Abby's top as his head motioned in the direction of a dead dog laying on the ground.

"Is that..." - Lev whispered with fear in his voice, walking closer to the animal. He was afraid of the WLF dogs ever since he had seen the first one. Why? These dogs were trained as weapons. WLF trained the animals to sniff unknown human scents, reacting to it in a matter of seconds - they tracked the enemies down, attacking immediately. And honestly, dogs were one of the most useful combat advances aside from grenades they had come up with. But when Lev became Mel and Owen's friend, as much as he became Abby's friend, they tried to show him that the dogs weren't just murderous animals. Alice, the German shepherd Mel was treasuring a lot, was laying there, stabbed to death.

"Yea." - Abby said simply, walking to the dog. Someone else was in the aquarium. Lev saw the act of Abby kneeling down to the dog as a goodbye ceremony. But this wasn't the situation in which Abby was showing her grief for the animal. Gently, she pulled her palm down under the dog's fur to feel the warmth of the body. To feel it a bit better, she closed her eyes, realizing that the body is almost cold. Whoever had infiltrated the aquarium was there a long time ago.

And given the dog was most likely stabbed to avoid attracting the attention of Mel and Owen, these two were in danger too. Abby gulped with her mouth dry, realizing that maybe, they arrived into the aquarium too late. Quietly, Abby tiptoed to the surgeon room, watching if the room is safe to enter before walking in to find herself some weapon. - "You stay behind me, okay?" - Abby looked the boy into his eyes, having a serious expression on her face.

"I want to help." - Lev rebelled against Abby's demand, but the woman just rolled her eyes. - "You will keep the watch over the perimeter with your bow. You see something we don't know, you hold them at gunpoint, you shoot, okay?" - Abby put her palm on the boy's shoulder, smoothing it. Yeah, he was good with a bow, and plus, she felt that he'll be safer behind her back. Nothing would get to Lev without it going through her first. With that, Lev felt some sort of usefulness, calming down.

Both of them took a second to adjust to the surroundings, peaking both their senses, preparing for whoever is awaiting them deeper inside the aquarium. When they felt ready, they moved to other rooms - they slowly searched every room. They walked through the improvised bedroom, the bathroom, some supply cabinets before they were about to enter the big room with a whale hanging from the ceiling. An iron, watery stench hit Abby's nose. It was a smell she knew perfectly - the cold smell of blood.

For a moment, she couldn't find the source. And she barely had the time to find it - because another human sped up against her, trying to take her down. Abby almost tried to stab the woman but stopped herself when she realized the woman's pregnant. The woman was Melanie. Mel who was pretty obviously freaked out. Abby stepped aside from the crying woman and pointed her palm towards Lev, letting him know that it's okay and that he should put his bow down.

One quick glance over was all to give Abby a bad gut feeling. Melanie was there, freaked out, tired out because of the hysteric crying. The gut feeling was telling Abby that she knows exactly from whom the blood stench is coming from. Yet at the moment, she had to deal with hysteric Melanie.

"It's me, hey, I'm here." - Abby tried to fidgeting, significantly smaller woman. But Melanie pushed her off while pointing her finger at Abby.

"Who the fuck you think you are?" - Melanie asked with her voice raspy from the crying, her widened eyes going from Lev to Abby and the other way around. - "This is on you, on both of you." - Mel straightened up. Abby didn't have any idea about what Melanie was talking about, but she straightened up, reminding the woman of her height.

"Every fucking time I hear 'Abby has a problem', I know it is going to bite me in my ass. And guess what, Abigail. This time, it bit everyone in the ass. Manny's dead, Nora's dead, Leah's dead, Whitney was murdered... And I can continue." - Melanie walked in a small circle, entwining her fingers in her short hair. - "Or did you get my point? Huh?" - Again, Mel pushed Abby. This time, she pushed her so hard, that Abby slipped and fell down.

"I don't know what you're talking about..." - "The whole fucking Jackson trip. That's what I'm talking about." - Melanie took in a deep breath. Lev had sat down a bit far away from them, just listening to their fight. On Abby's body language, there could be seen that her throat had clinched a bit. Jackson? How would all of this tie to Jackson? And... How could she fucking know that all of these people were killed? Sure, these people were in Jackson, but also could be just a coincidence. These people could be in a bad place at a bad time. That was all. The whole mystery.

"You were so focused on yourself that you ignored everything that was going on, weren't you? Am I even surprised?" - "Can you just fucking tell me what you're on about?" - Abby fired back, prooving Mel's point perfectly. She didn't even know that all of their friends were getting killed, she didn't know what was happening with her own fucking people. Funny. - "The girl from Jackson is here, taking out every last one of us. It's like waiting for her to check your name on the list while she stands above your corpse. And... And guess what, Abby, she's after you. And she isn't alone." - Melanie giggled. It wasn't an amused giggle. It was a sound full of despair and fear, it was a borderline cry for help.

"Why are you alive then? She's here for me, not for all the others. Maybe... Maybe she wasn't the one who killed the rest. Because you're alive, so..." - Just when Mel looked into her eyes, Abby connected the two dots. You spared Melanie's life because you took another one. At that, Abby's lungs stopped to work. She was gasping for air, turning on her side, when she saw the view hidden behind the table. She couldn't see Owen, she could see gallons of blood on the ground.

"And how do I know? She told me. She looked me dead in the eyes and told me she's here for you. And this, my dear, I think is your last stop. Because there are at least three people somewhere out there in Seattle, looking for you. And one of them is your man, Joel fucking Miller." - Melanie grinned and threw the map to Abby's legs. - "I took you a little souvenir so you can finish your suicidal mission once and for all. I'll take Lev with me and we're leaving. And you're... You're not welcomed." - Melanie hissed, looking at the boy. Abby was falling deeper and deeper into the initial shock, realizing that indeed, every word Melanie had said was true.

This was her fault. Everything was her fault. Which was pretty ironic, given the circumstances leading to this moment. Just an hour ago, Abby allowed herself to let the thing go. After four years of the rage eating her alive, she, for the first time, saw the hope around her. There was Lev for whom she wanted to do better than she was doing up to that point. Abby needed to be better for the new family she found. Just for this to happen, bringing the whole family dynamic to the ground. Joel Miller, once again, was the source of her problems.

"Mel, no, please." - Lev picked himself up, trying to plead for her taking Abby with them. But the more Abby watched the blood, the more she realized this wasn't a thing she could let go. It would find her anywhere. It would haunt her down any time. Melanie shook her head, telling Lev what she wanted to without words. - "Then I'm going with her." - Lev said and backed to Abby, who was still panicking and laying on the floor.

"You'll get yourself killed, kid. You're not going anywhere. End of the story." - Melanie told the boy and left to the upper quarters, slowly smoothing her belly. Lev was still standing there, watching as Abigail picker herself up, walking to the dead body. Shivers were running up her spine and cold sweat slowly leaked down her back. First, she saw the dried footprints in the blood and the pipe which was covered in not only blood but in the rest of what seemed to be Owen's brain. Trying to brace yourself for what she was about to see was dumb. At the moment she saw what that Jackson girl had done to him, Abby just threw up on the ground next to him. It was more or less only water, but there were things coming out of her. Melanie was right. This was all Abby's doing.

"That fucking bitch." - She muttered out, sitting on the other side, looking at the dead body. When they've captured you, you were sure one of the toughest nuts to crack. But if she'd suspect someone coming after her, it would be the Tommy man who they captured alongside you. Which happened. The Tommy man shot Manny in his face. But you? Such a fragile, scared girl? No. Abby would never suspect you'd be able to do such bullshit. She wouldn't ever think that there was a scenario in which you'd track her down, killing her friends one by one until you'd bump into her.

"Do you... Do you want to follow her?" - Lev asked silently, sitting next to her on the ground. It wasn't close enough to disrupt her personal space, but close enough to reassure her that he's there. Next to her, ready to go after the people he didn't know, fighting for a cause that didn't include him at all. Now, she was his people. In fact, she was everything that Lev was left with. And if Mel thought he'd leave Abby behind just like that, she was naïve, to say the least.

"This has nothing to do with you, kid." - "She, whoever she is, killed one of my friends. Now, it has something to do with me. I'm a part of this now." - Lev told Abby back with his head clear. This one kid was courageous. And ready for another battle. Of which Abby was hella sure. But even if she chuckled, looking down on her palms, she didn't want the kid to come. - "Listen. This... This is very personal to me. This is something that drags for the last couple of years. And it involves me, my family and something terrible. The only one who can put end to all of this is me. And I won't let you drag yourself into shit that doesn't involve you. I want you safe." - "Abby..." - "It makes me strong. You're my people now. Even Mel is... And I need to keep you both safe." - Abby whispered with tears of anger in her eyes, catching Lev's hand to hold it for a moment. She didn't know that Mel was standing above them, listening to every word that was said.

No matter what happened in the aquarium, no matter what the relationship she had with Abby and what she thought about her... This was everyone's cause now. Most importantly, you didn't seem to be the type to leave the things behind. Sure, now, you felt something resembling a closure after killing Owen. But how much time would pass before you'd feel the need to find Abby again? To find Mel and her baby? The time would come.

For that, it would be better to track you down when they had the chance, ending all of this for good. And even if Melanie hated Abby with everything she got now... Abby was right. Melanie was now her people - just like Abby was hers. No matter how she'd try to fight it, Mel didn't want to see the woman get killed because of the heat regarding Abby's stupidity. It didn't feel right to send Abby on a suicidal mission. This needed closure. Plus, honestly, Melanie needed Abby around once the baby would be born. She, the baby, and Lev needed a guardian. A literal watchdog.

"She's out of her mind." - Mel said silently, making both the people sitting on the ground looking up to her, standing in front of the quarters. - "I don't know what the girl was through, but she was off. It was like a blackout or something. She's dangerous. I'm terrified of her." - Mel said honestly, walking the stairs down. - "Can you go up and pack some things for me?" - Melanie smiled at Lev. Abby looked at the boy, sending him off upstairs. - "And you, come here. I don't wanna look at the..." - Melanie breathed out, still being shaken by what happened.

Mel wasn't over it at all, not a fucking chance. Her partner was brutally murdered. And she witnessed every second of it. Every. Fucking. Second. Yet... This world didn't offer them enough time to seek closure within themself, it didn't give them the time to grieve properly. Not until everything was said and done. Abby nodded at the pregnant woman's request, picking herself up from the ground.

"Listen." - Mel said quietly while leading Abby through the aquarium's interior. - "You're a fucking selfish asshole and dear Lord, I just want to punch you sometimes. And what happened between you and Owen at the boat last night peaked all of those feelings. But... How do you say it? Even if I didn't choose it voluntarily, you're now my people. That's something I have to deal with and it will take months, maybe years. But the fact is that I need you because I cant take care of myself out there once the baby will be born. This concludes in a fact - I can't let you get yourself killed while going after these people." - She stopped, looking Abby in the eyes. And with an expression showing gratefulness, Abby smiled back at her. - "We're not friends, at least not for now. Not a fucking a chance. But we're coming after them together because I'm scared of them coming back for us." - Melanie whispered. And without anything foreshadowing it, Abby hugged her, finally starting to cry into Mel's clothes.

There was too much pressure for Abby to handle - you and your people, Owen's death, Yara's murder, the whole conflict at the island proving to her as a bunch fo brainwashing lies which Isaac spoonfeed each of them, resolving in everyone's death. Melanie's cold honestly was something Abby needed bad. Melanie didn't like her, not at that point, and she was straightforward about it. At least someone was honest with Abby the whole fucking time.

"They will pay. Every last one of them. I swear." - Abby let Melanie go, carefully maneuvering her palms around Melanie's belly. - "That's the spirit." - Melanie grinned back. This was noticeably out of Mel's character. Abby honestly never seen her wishing death upon anyone except the Scars - which was excusable because the foundation in that behavior was based on Isaac's brainwashing program. Now, she was willingly after someone else, who was just a part of Abby's fuckery. Yet as Lev told Abby, this was now Melanie's cause too. The woman had the right to feel outraged towards the Jacksoners at that point. They killed her baby daddy.

No-one was left behind. Abby, after observing the map, knew the theatre which was marked as the 'hideout'. She knew precisely where the location was. Each of them set on the way during a stormy night, clothed up to stay warm against the stormy weather. Their way through the city was quick because no-one was really there. Everyone was on the island, fighting the dispute they've been told that is the main center of their existence. When Abby or Mel didn't know where to go, Lev showed them the safest way and otherwise. They kept an eye for each other and Mel was helped a lot, so they'd be sure that nothing happens to her or the baby.

It was two hours from the moment they've left the aquarium when Abby saw the theatre in the distance. It was lit up, so someone was definitely out there. The feeling she carried in her chest was fucking heavy. So fucking heavy. She wanted to shoot each of you dead, but on the other hand, she knew this could go extremely bad. Melanie was pregnant and Lev was just a fucking kid. And for a reason, now she found out there are reasons to be happy for even if she didn't murder Joel, it felt foolish to come there to kill you. It was too much of a risk. On the other hand, she promised Mel that she'd see you suffer for what you've done. There was no point in stopping.

"Now, we have to find our way inside." - Mel noted quietly upon arriving to the building. They've just tried the main door, gently, to find out if it was blocked. Of course, it was. You weren't that dumb. - "I think I have something." - Lev looked at both of them, waving at them. It was an escape staircase. That kid had eyes of the falcon because to spot it in the darkness was kind of amazing.

It was the final moment before the big climax Abby had dreamed of for so long. And she almost had to laugh at the pathetic thoughts she had. She was afraid to enter the building. Who knew what waited for them inside? Will any of them walk out of the building alive? Will any of these three people survive? Or will all of the Jacksoners be killed in bloodshed? Well, there was only one way to find out. And with that, Abby opened the window which was pre-opened by a bright yellow cable leading onto the rooftop. And so, she stepped on her final journey towards the presumed saving of her damned soul.

[youeverfeelcursed]

On the Narrative of The Last of Us 2 - (2/3)

So, we left he previous part at what I would call the end of Act 2, as I’m trying to remain as spoiler free as possible on these opening parts.  

This part will actually deal with what I call act 3, and finally the next post will be about the ending, and some thoughts on secondary characters. 

I know I rant a lot but I feel The Last of Us Part 2 is a game to unpack slowly as its full of details in both narration and enviroment that puts to shame some of the most wonderful movies I’ve seen. 

On how opposites attract and the paralelism of Abby’s and Ellie’s storylines.

The first time we play with Abby is during the snow scene with Owen and her, where we learn that they are searching for “someone” around Jackson. This is the time where we get the first glance at Abby; kind of ruthless, insensitive, and point driven woman; who literally runs on her own to find that man who she is searching for, just to stumble upon him and to sheperd him to his own death. 

Both Owen and her seem likeable enough up to the point we learn they are on a revenge trail. We are not supposed to like Abby in the beginning, we gotta have a flame for our moth to fly into, and she’s the perfect hook. 

But everything changes in Act 3, when we start learning about her father, on how the Fireflies just disbanded because the only person that could have developed that vaccine died. On how her relationship with Owen failed because of her thirst for revenge that lead her to put it before her love for Owen. 

We are shown how similar are both Ellie and her are, but whereas Abby is learning to deal with her violent side by helping Yara and Lev out, Ellie has gone into the deepest depths of her hatred. 

Although I did find her part way too long, I’m not sure it would driven the same point if they had made it shorter, plus it also adds information on both warring parts of Seattle, the Seraphites and the WLF. 

So whats the point of having Abby in the game? Well, to start, she’s the obvious “antagonist” to our “protagonist”. But Abby’s purpose is to show how incredible hypocrital we the players are. 

How can you hate Abby for killing Joel, but not Ellie for wanting to kill Abby? 

Let’s remember that Joel started it all. Let’s remember that Ellie knew he did it, and still she consciously decided to go after the group, even though I’m pretty sure she knew why they did it even before she met Nora. Nora’s conversation was pretty open about Ellie’s knowing what Joel had done back in Boston. We get confirmation later but up to that point we are always doubting. Up until that point we get some freedom to believe that Ellie is doing this revenge with maybe some doubts on Joel telling the truth but still, based on her love of him. 

But thats not true. She’s doing it even knowing that Joel had fucked up humanity’s supposedly only chance to get a vaccine. That he had doomed them all. 

That Abby and her people had their good reasons to get back to Joel and kill him. 

Joel killed Abby’s father. Joel doomed humanity.  Abby killed Ellie’s father figure. 

Then why, do we root for Ellie and hate on Abby? 

Although for most part of the game both of their storylines run parallel, its when Lev and Yara appear that they started running in different angles. When Abby manages to bring Yara’s medical supplies, Ellie is torturing Nora for information on Abby’s whereabouts. When Abby is saving Lev, Ellie is killing both Owen and Mel. 

When Abby is starting to understand that maybe violence is not the solution, Ellie is reducing it all to hate and violence. The flame is burning and she cannot take her eyes from it. 

Abby’s path is obviously a premonition for what Ellie’s will be. Because Abby trying to recover the life she lost because of her need for revenge, to recover her humanity but in this way she’s lost Owen, her innocence, her capacity of empathy. 

And just when things are getting slightly better, shit hits the fan and Ellie appears. She starts to reap what she had sown with Joel’s killing. Actions cannot go without consecuences.

Abby is an example of what Ellie can, and will turn into during this game. On how to lives can forever get entwined by hatred and violence. 

The clash

Ahoy! So Abby gets with Lev to the theater where she finds Tommy, knocking him down and killing Jesse in the spot. I think Jesse’s death was one of the things that I found most unfair and random, I get the idea behind it but I honestly think they could have taken a better turn with him. 

But anyway, shit hits the fan. And we get to battle Ellie. 

Ellie! We get to battle Ellie what the fuck!?!? 

I mean seriously, how awesome can this be? Because this is the point. We don’t battle any other human as a boss during the whole game except Ellie. Because she’s not human anymore, she’s a monster. 

She tortured, murdered, left behind both her lover and friends only for the sake of revenge. But as we talked in the previous post, its not as simple as that. 

The battle between them is polarizing. I mean by this point I was already tired of the violence. I wanted Ellie to stop, but I didnt want her to die. And yet, she had killed a pregnant woman and done terrible things, didn’t she deserve it too? I also wanted Abby to get some closure, but what would it have to happen, for her to get closure? 

I was in a polarized position. I didn’t know what to feel. And my heart jumped out of my body when Dina joined the battle and she ended in Abby’s arm, knife on her throat. 

And again, parallels. Lev gets to be Abby’s cornerstone, while Dina gets to be Ellie. Things stop, and Abby decides to be the bigger person. To stop it all, to move on and bury the hatchet. She could have killed Ellie and let Dina leave, but she decided to finally, finally move on, because she was tired of violence. Of her lack of humanity, of battling instead of living. 

We end the fight with a defeated monster and a new human living walking out of the door. 

Abby just like every other character, is an imperfect being. We can decide to like her or not, but hating her only for the fact that she killed Joel is reducing ourselves to moths chasing a flame, and by that, becoming just like Ellie. 

[karazrel]

What's your thoughts on Abby from tlou part ii?

I don’t hate her, I think she served a purpose in the narrative and did it relatively well. I also understand why they included her and the “point” of the story. And I don’t think she’s a bad or evil person, at least not anymore than joel or ellie or anyone else in their world is. Idk how unpopular this is but I’m actually glad she made it to the fireflies and that ellie didn’t kill her in the end but that was more for Ellie’s own sake (and Lev’s) than it was out of any real love for Abby (even though I did feel bad really for her and hated that last fight so much truly FUCK the rattlers).

All that being said I’m just really not invested or emotionally attached to Abby as a character. I came into this game wanting an Elli/joel story because they’re the characters I’ve loved for 7 years, so I was pretty disappointed at having to spend almost half the game with Abby. Not to mention the part where you try to kill ellie as Abby which was all kinds of fucked up. Honestly the only part of her story that I remotely enjoyed was her and Lev/yara and even then, I wished it was ellie who had met them instead of Abby. Literally everyone else in abbys section bored the hell out of me I couldn’t care in the least about her dad (I still can’t wrap my mind around them making a sequel based on the daughter of a random npc you killed in the first game) or her relationship drama or her friends and it just made her whole part a chore to get through, especially when you consider that we could’ve gotten more flashbacks or dinaellie/ellie and jesse moments instead.

So yeah overall I think she’s an okay character but she’s just not one I’m personally interested in or would’ve liked to have the sequel of my all time favourite game centred around

[nexkoyotl]

Just imagine this Au of Tlou

This is just a crazy Idea that a friend and I were thinking

When the fireflies doctors are running the test on Ellie she is awake and Abby meets her, they start talking (maybe while they wait for the results or I don't know) and Ellie tells her about all her journey to get to Salt Lake and about how she get bitten and Abby tells her about her friends and how she is scared of heights, (I know that this medical thing are probably private with just the doctors but if Abby was the doctor's daughter maybe he would let her stay and meet the girl who is the cure for the humanity) they became friends during those hours, Abby tells her about Owen and Ask if Ellie has a boyfriend but she obviously tells her that she doesn't like boys and Abby is super respectful with that and tells her that someday she would meet a cute girl or I don't know. Then Abby has to get out and hears her Dad and Marlene Talking about how Ellie must die and how they are not going to let Ellie decide if she wants to do it or not so Abby tries to convince her dad to find another way because Ellie is a good person and has a lot to live for he obviously says no and when Marlene finally agrees to do the surgery Abby tries to sneak into Ellies room and warn her but she finds out that she is already sedated and when the Doctors came to the room she confronts them and tells them that Ellie should decide her destiny and even uses her gun to scare them away then her dad walks in and Abyy tries again to explain but he dosen't listen and when he tries to get closer to get the gun and talk to her she accidentally shoots him then Joel arrives ready to kill anyone but look at the whole thing and Abby is crying because of what she's done so she just tells Joel to take Ellie away and save her, of course Joel doesn't hesitate and do it then everything goes exactly the same except that Ellie is also mad that she didn't have time to said goodbye to her new friend and when she ask if they could go back some day Joel tells her another lie (maybe that the fireflies move to other place).

The second game could be about how Abby's friends go after Joel and she goes with them to warn him because they think that Abby's dad was also killed by Joel and I don't know Abby saves Joel but he is left really hurt and now they take her as a traitor or something (maybe they leve her to the sheraphites and that's how she met Yara and Lev), Ellie goes to save her and to looks for answers and Dina and Jesse go with her because they are her friends

I know this doesn't make sense but just imagine how much potential have this two to be a powerful friendship but I don't support them being friends after Abby killed Joel and Ellie killed all of Abbys friends so maybe if they met before all of that and the best of course is that we could still have Joel, imagine him being a grandfather to JJ and make fun of Ellie for being a mom.

[glaurie]

I finished The Last of Us Part II a week ago and I’ve been thinking about it ever since, trying to make sense of some things, and anyway here’s an interpretation I wrote of one of the main themes of the games and what the ending means.

I think Joel’s journey in TLOU is the key to understanding Abby’s & Ellie’s journeys in TLOU II, cause it is more or less the same pattern. In TLOU, the thing that turns Joel’s life upside down is not the pandemic per se, it is losing his daughter Sarah (who even though her death can be attributed to the pandemic, was killed by a human soldier). Losing her sent him down a brutal downward spiral. We don’t actually see it, but it is hinted at throughout both games that during the 20 years gap at the beginning of TLOU, Joel did some very fucked up shit. He saw the worst of humanity in himself and in others, was incapable of moving on from Sarah’s death, and pushed away the only remaining family he had (Tommy). He was at the lowest of the low until he met Ellie, who he first didn’t like, planned to abandon to Tommy, and then slowly but surely warmed up to her so much that she became a second daughter and the one person who managed to give him hope again. Hope that he could be happy again, that life could be worth living. She was his redemption after hitting the lowest of the lows, and we see it in the way he’s finally able to talk about Sarah again. The only catch is that, paradoxically, to finally find hope & joy again, he has to doom humanity. One thing that I’ve been thinking about regarding his choice is that I think Joel never really believed in a cure anyway, and I don’t mean in the scientific sense of actually making a vaccine against the cordyceps but in the way the Fireflies presented it as Hope with a capital H, as the one thing that will make everything go back to normal. Like I said, Joel saw the worst of humanity. His daughter was killed because of military orders. He’s a misanthrope throughout pretty much all of TLOU. And sure, the brutality of humanity is definitely exacerbated by the cordyceps, but I believe that in Joel’s mind, eliminating the infection isn’t gonna change that much in the grand scheme of things.

All in all, it doesn’t matter why Joel did it or if it was right or wrong – the thing is, he did it, and now the only question worth asking is “where do we go from there?”. And I believe TLOU II provides the answer. On a surface level, Joel destroyed humanity. There is now no chance to go back to normal, and the worst of humanity is therefore exacerbated even more, because what’s the point now, right? The Fireflies were the one faction that had a cause beyond pure survival, and now they’re gone. This is humanity at its lowest, this is humanity reaching the point Joel reached when he lost his daughter and turned to a life of violent survival. Except Joel came back from it eventually. He had lost EVERYTHING and did the worst things imaginable, and yet, at the beginning of TLOU II, he was able to talk about Sarah freely and to open his heart to other people, he had found a loving community, reconciled with his brother, was allowing himself to be happy and find a sense of normalcy again (drinking coffee, playing guitar on his porch in the evening), and Ellie was even starting to forgive him (the last flashback). And all that because the answer to “where do we go from there?” is “we find the one hope left and we cling to it”. When Joel destroyed the possibility of a vaccine, he didn’t doom humanity completely, because it is impossible to do that. There is always hope left, always a little light to follow. Just because there will be no cure for the cordyceps doesn’t mean humanity now has to kill itself; people can still find hope in one another, create connection, find joy, love. Jackson is the perfect example of that, and the fact that it remains untouched throughout all of TLOU II is a testament to the fact that hope can never be extinguished. While the Seraphites and the WLF are destroying one another beyond belief, Jackson is still here, a non-violent community full of children and teenagers, of people dying of old age (Eugene), of families old and new (Dina & JJ).

The Last of Us (as a saga) isn’t about a doomed humanity, but about the fact that nothing is ever doomed – it is just shown through the micro-level of character studies, first with Joel in TLOU I, and then with Abby & Ellie in TLOU II.

Abby & Ellie’s respective journeys more or less follow the same pattern as Joel’s. Abby not only lost her father, but also her entire purpose as a Firefly. She lost all hope, just like Joel when he lost Sarah, and just like him, it drove her into a descending spiral of brutality. She joined the WLF without conviction, became a super soldier by killing countless Seraphites, drove Owen away (like Joel drove Tommy away), and all that for what? Torturing a man to death with zero improvement in her life afterwards. Just like with Joel, her lowest point isn’t the closed one’s death that made her lose herself, it’s all she did afterwards. But then she meets Yara & Lev, begrudgingly helps them, abandons them, then feels guilty and comes back for them (a bit reminiscent of Joel’s journey with Ellie in TLOU I, right?). And it is when she truly starts to help and care for the two children that she finally moves on from her father’s death and her lack of purpose. Just like Joel was able to talk about Sarah by the end of his journey with Ellie, Abby finally dreams of her father smiling at her after she risks her life for Yara. She realizes this is the right path, not the one she had took before, and continues to help Lev once Yara dies. When she finds Ellie in Seattle, it is so easy to go back to her old ways, so much so that she is close to kill a pregnant Dina, but caring for Lev makes her a better person. After Seattle, we can see she has fully moved on thanks to her relationship with Lev, and she is looking for a new purpose, going towards a new light: the remaining Fireflies. She hit the lowest of the lows, struggled to climb back up (she had to face her biggest fear (heights) and lost all of her friends as a consequence of what she did), and still found redemption, love, and something to live for.

Ellie’s story is a bit more complex, but ultimately the same. She lost her purpose in life (saving humanity – it’s actually pretty interesting how Abby & Ellie were on the same side originally) and then lost Joel, and it leads her to fill that void with rage and a false quest for justice, for which she drags her friends along just like Abby with the WLF group. She kills WLF soldiers and Seraphites who had nothing to do with it, she kills Owen and a pregnant Mel, and then gets beaten almost to death by Abby. Just like when Joel met Ellie or Abby met Lev, Ellie’s life on the farm with Dina and JJ should be the moment where she starts being better, but the big difference is that this wasn’t exactly her choice yet. In TLOU, Joel wanted to give Ellie to Tommy’s care, and then chose to take her to the hospital himself. Abby first left Lev and Yara to go back to Owen, and then chose to go back to them. That is the turning point when both characters took the step forward and then continuously progressed, facing their biggest fears in the process (Joel caring for a child again, Abby’s fear of heights). Ellie didn’t have that, because this choice was taken away from her when Abby beat her at Seattle. Ellie’s lack of agency is a recurring theme in the games, it is taken away from her again and again, first by Joel who took her out of the hospital even though she wanted to sacrifice herself, then by Abby who ruined Ellie’s chance to forgive Joel, a decision Ellie had took just the night before, and then by Abby again who was the one to stop Ellie’s revenge quest in Seattle. I think her choice to go to Santa Barbara is partly driven by the need to make her own decisions and her own mistakes (in a way, TLOU II is a coming of age story). In her mind, she also can’t allow herself to be happy. She is still trying to process Joel’s decision to doom humanity. To her, nothing matters anymore, and her life even less. It is only when she finds Abby in California and is ready to kill her that she really asks herself “now what?”. Killing Abby won’t bring Joel back, nor will it create a vaccine. Joel’s death and the fact that there will never be a cure are immutable, there is nothing that can be done to change it, so now, what? Is it better to kill even more people, or is it better to just move on and hold on to the hope and love there is left? By remembering Joel smiling, and by remembering the time she realized she loved him enough to try and forgive him, she realizes that holding on to the love rather than the hate is what matters. I think she also understands that what mattered to Joel was the day to day joy, not the grand sacrifices, and that is why he saved her from the hospital. Ultimately, this is what will save humanity as well. The cure wasn’t the end all be all, just like Ellie sacrificing herself wasn’t the end all be all to her life. There are other ways that humanity can be saved, and other ways that Ellie’s life can matter. Now that she’s realized that and made the conscious choice to let go and move on, she goes back to the farm. Just like Abby, Ellie suffers the consequences of her actions. But just like Abby, she has also moved on from what was holding her back, and is now ready to embrace the love and hope she has left: Dina & JJ are alive, and Jackson is still standing. If there is one thing the story of The Last of US I & II is about, it is that even though mankind can do the worst of things, redemption is always possible and hope can never be snuffed out.

[thenerdwhocreatesart]

To say that this game broke my heart would be an understatement. QUIT PLAYING GAMES WITH MY HEART DAMMIT! 😭😭😭

me calling neil druckmann to force him to give us a dlc where ellie finds dina and apologizes for everything

[car0l-avenger-danvers]

#and also how abby and lev met the fireflies

me calling neil druckmann to force him to give us a dlc where ellie finds dina and apologizes for everything