#and also his book tbh he says that he would in the book twice

[gayofthefae]

Why do I not just go back to these playlists more every time I wonder what Mike's inner monologue has been over the course of the show it's literally right there. Like once this is all over I might just listen through to it when I don't wanna time commit to rewatching the whole show.

[selfcarecap]

MUSE [L.H.]

Logan Howlett x reader

summary: Logan would never admit it to anyone, but over the course of his long life he has attempted to draw maybe once or twice. He hasn’t done it in years, maybe even decades, but he’s struck by inspiration when he meets you. Of course, no one can know that Wolverine draws, so he does it in the dead of night, sliding anonymous envelopes with the finished drawings of you under your door. When he sees how much you love them, he wonders if you could also love the person behind them. 

warnings: smut 18+ but with an actual plot for once (brief m masturbation, oral f and m rec, unprotected piv sex, kind of accidental (but consensual obv) facial; pet names: bub, baby, good girl, princess), soft!Logan but he won’t admit it, also soft!reader, fluff (although the summary makes it sounds a bit more dramatic than it is tbh), implication that reader has curly hair, implied mutant/X-men!reader, (obviously the pic doesn’t represent the envelopes Logan uses lol he’s not doing all that)

word count: 7.3k

also i feel the need to say something about the fact that it’s Hugh Jackman’s birthday today lol so uh thanks for being huge jacked man and for giving us our Logan yay <3 | gorgeous divider by @plutism

It’s everything Logan is the opposite of – he would never tell a soul – but over the course of his long life, Logan has attempted to draw maybe once or twice. It’s not really him, but he did have a phase or two.

When he meets you, he hasn’t even thought of picking up a pencil in years. Ever since you’ve been at the mansion though, Logan’s fingertips twitch with the urge to start sketching your features every time he’s with you. It gets hard to ignore after a few days.

He waits until he’s known you a few weeks, there’s no way in hell he’d ask if he could draw you. He’d probably embarrass you by asking, and embarrass himself by admitting he’s into fucking art. That’s not him. 

Except, well, sometimes it is, when he’s inspired. And you’re nothing if not inspiring. 

He gives in to the urge to get out pencil and paper again, waiting until everyone else has gone to sleep. The first few drawings are shit, he feels like they’re almost an insult to you. It’s not that he’s accidentally drawing you ugly, it just doesn’t look like you. So he practises. 

Logan Howlett sits down at night to practise drawing. 

He picks out a few other things to draw then, to ease the pressure that comes with drawing the woman he… is friends with. Yeah, you’re a friend. And he totally knows that you’d never go for someone as rugged as him, that’s for sure. You deserve much more. So much more. 

But after a few nights he feels more confident in his drawing skills again, but still, as much as he can picture you in his mind – he can do that absolutely perfectly – he’s not too sure he could really draw you accurately.

So he gets Rogue to show him how goddamn fucking Instagram works so that he can look at some of your pictures and use them as a model. 

He doesn’t know what you’re doing to him; you’ve got him using social media.

He can’t believe it, but the first time he seriously attempts to draw you, it’s perfect. It’s a small drawing, not even as big as his palm, capturing your gorgeous face. He thinks of adding another few lines to your eyebrows, or to your hair or another small one to the outline of your lips, but he doesn’t want to mess with it. 

Logan hates how drawing makes him overthink, but he loves how it feels to create something other than violence with his hands for once – something that may even be the opposite. 

He hides the drawing in between the pages of a book, and hides the book under a pile of random clutter on his desk that not even he would normally spare a glance at. But when he lies down to go to sleep, he gets all the stuff out again and gets out the drawing. He wants to see it again. And he can’t leave it there anyway, what if the pressure from all the items on top of it smudges it? 

But he doesn’t know what else to do with it. He can’t really have a drawing of you sitting in his room. What if someone sees? Then what is he gonna do with it instead? 

He finally lets himself think the thought that’s politely been waiting to be allowed into his brain from the moment he decided he might take up drawing again. 

He could give it to you. 

Logan knows his drawing isn’t objectively a masterpiece, but if he’s proud of it he has to acknowledge that that probably means it’s at least decent. And you’re definitely the type of person to appreciate something like this. It’s weird admitting to himself that he’s even proud of what he’s drawn; he’s done so much in this world, who cares about a little drawing? 

The only thing is that Logan isn’t sure if he’s ready for anyone to see this side of him. To see the side that has him staying up until 3AM to finely trace the lines of someone’s eyelashes and cheekbones and lips, the side that makes him feel calm inside. 

He knows it’s stupid to hide but he just can’t. He decides he’ll leave the drawing in your room in an envelope, maybe a pink one to show you it’s not a creepy threat but meant as a sign of adoration, from someone who couldn’t resist but try to recreate your beauty. He won’t write his name on it, he just wants you to have it. 

Sappy motherfucker. 

He puts the small drawing back into the book and carefully pushes it between his mattress and the bedframe to protect it during the night. God, who even is he – protecting a tiny piece of paper? He groans at himself as he turns around to go to sleep. 

He dreams of making a thousand drawings of you, with you as his live model. His muse. 

You’re his girlfriend in his dream, he thinks. 

He’s sitting in a chair in your room, drawing you as you tell him about your day. You’re lying on your bed on your tummy, elbows propped up to support your head. You’re gently kicking your feet in the air behind you, wearing nothing but a t-shirt of Logan’s, some silly graphic socks, panties with little cherries on them, and a bright, bashful smile as Logan attempts to capture your glowing features in a sketch block he’s dedicated to drawings of you. 

He wakes up with morning wood. 

Logan is no stranger to jerking off with you on his mind, so he spits in his hand and slips it beneath his boxers, stroking himself as he thinks of you. He imagines you on top of him as he jerks his cock, imagines you under him, or with your legs around his head, or you between his knees on the floor. He cums quickly and hard, leaving his boxers wet and sticky.

He goes for a run after he’s dealt with it and picks up an envelope on his way. He’s doubting himself but he knows he has to just do it. He’d doubt himself even more if he pussied out – a grown man who can’t even slide an envelope under someone’s door. 

So Logan mans up and, like an idiot, kisses the fucking drawing before he puts it into the envelope. He licks the edges of it to close it and writes your name in the most anonymous handwriting he can muster and adds a little heart. 

It’s soo stupid. 

He makes sure no one is anywhere near your bedroom, walks up to your door, and slides the envelope underneath. Except he didn’t check if you were in your room. As soon as the envelope disappears beneath your door, he hears a short creak from your bed and your soft footsteps. 

He hears the small and adorable noise of curiosity you let out – a confused hm? – and then he quickly and quietly makes his way down the hallway. He hears your voice about ten seconds later, an intrigued hello? as you open the door, but you don’t investigate further, closing the door behind you. 

Logan’s heart is beating so fast. He’s never doing this shit again. 

He’s antsy all day, waiting for some type of reaction from you. Except you don’t know that the drawing is from him so he’s probably not even getting one, and he can’t conspicuously come to your room the same day you receive an anonymous drawing of yourself. 

It’s also when the insecurity settles in. Maybe he should have added a few more lines or started the entire drawing anew. Who does he think he is pretending to be an artist? 

He shakes those thoughts off as he starts training with the punching bag in the gym. It’s not something that he necessarily needs to train, but it gets rid of some of that pointless energy. This isn’t him, worried about some lines he drew on a piece of paper – a scrap of a paper, really. Who cares about something like that? Certainly not him. 

He sleeps dreamlessly and wakes up the next day disappointed that he didn’t get to dream about being your boyfriend again. God, what are you doing to him? Making him think about being boyfriend and girlfriend. He’s pathetic. You’re a friend and nothing more, and that’s fine. You probably don’t like him like that and he can deal with that.

-

He’s not even thinking of the drawing anymore, truly, when he walks into the kitchen the next morning. It only comes to mind when he sees you, alone in the kitchen, leaning over the counter to scroll on your phone, your weird green coffee (“it’s Matcha, Logan”) next to you as you stir it mindlessly with a metal straw. 

“Hi,” you look up with one of those sweet smiles of yours, but redirect your attention to your phone. 

At least you don’t immediately say something like hey, you know that drawing you slid under my door? It was so ugly I threw it away. Since when do you even draw? 

Not that he was worried you would or anything. He hasn’t been thinking about it. Obviously. Why would he? And he knows you would never expect that it’s him; that’s the only reason he did it. He never would have given you the drawing if he thought you could have even the slightest inkling that Logan would be someone who draws. But he still wants to know what you think of it. 

“You want some toast too?” You ask, putting your phone down and turning to get some bread. He sits down at the other side of the kitchen counter and as his eyes flicker to your green drink (he still doesn’t get it), he sees it. 

“Is that–” my drawing, he almost said, “What is that?” He pretends to be confused, drawing his eyebrows together, trying his best to look inquisitive, “No toast by the way, thanks.” 

You have one of those clear phone cases, filled with a bunch of tiny pictures and stickers (and is that your credit card?). But wedged in front of all of those is Logan’s drawing. 

“Did you draw it?” He asks. 

You turn around, giggling, “No, I don’t draw. And anyway, I wouldn’t be drawing pictures of myself. I got it in an envelope under my door yesterday, photocopied it because I was scared it would bend in my phone case. I don’t know who drew it.” 

“Secret admirer?” 

Smiling, you say, “I don’t know. I won’t get my hopes up. But the person must definitely be fond of me to draw me like that.” 

“Like what?” He asks, unsure if he’s about to be offended. 

“I don’t know, just, so beautiful. I’m not saying I’m not pretty or anything, but this looks… I don’t look like that. I wish I did. I can’t believe someone actually sees me like that. It’s stupid but I….” You trail off and, conveniently, the toast is done at the same time and you move on to that. 

But Logan won’t let you, “What’s stupid?” 

You turn towards him with a shy smile, “I’m embarrassed.”

Logan stays silent. He can’t seem too pushy and draw attention to himself, but his silence makes you confess.

“I cried when I first saw it yesterday. It’s one of the best gifts I’ve ever gotten. And it’s the nicest compliment I’ve ever received, for someone to perceive me in such an artistic way.” 

Logan makes a noise of satisfaction and smiles, asking you to pass your phone so he can look at it more – pretending it’s his first time seeing it. If you think that way about it, maybe the three more lines he was going to add aren’t that important after all. 

The problem is that it makes him want to draw more, his stupid heart melting at your reaction to something he made– no, created. 

-

After a week, he figures he has to give in. Drawing another picture of you is on his mind twenty-four seven. 

It doesn’t help that he still catches you staring at the copy of it in your phone case lovingly more than once a day and you’ve put the original drawing in a special little frame on your nightstand. He thinks he’s sappy for drawing it but he doesn’t think the same of you for enjoying the drawing. 

This is for you. It’s not about him. He’s not an artist or anything like that, he’s just doing something kind for someone he cares about (which is honestly sappy enough but he tries to ignore that). He’s usually more of a silent carer but maybe that’s why he likes this. He’s not making it a grand gesture, not making it a thing that he’s the one drawing for you. It’s just for you to enjoy. 

He’ll just make this second drawing and silently put it in your room, and he’s the last person you’ll suspect. 

But of course now that he knows it means something to you, he can’t get anything right. He draws your hair too curly, then not curly enough. He draws your nose too big, then too small. Your eyes end up crooked. He can’t erase too much because it’ll look sloppy, so even the drawing he gets almost perfect, he ruins with a few final additions at the end. 

It takes him an entire month for the next drawing, and it feels more like him that it’s been making him so angry that he couldn’t get it right at first. Maybe he had the wrong picture of artists. They’re always talking about pain, aren’t they, and that’s what he experiences too (over a drawing. Who is he?). 

He takes another few days to keep track of your routine, to monitor when you’ll be in your room. He can’t have it be as close as last time. 

He ends up doing it in the evening. There’s a time after dinner when most of the team stays together to watch tv, just talk, or play some games. It’s normal for some of you to wander off, come back or stick around a bit longer. It won’t be suspicious if he leaves for a few minutes and comes back.

Logan wants nothing more than to follow you when you say that you’re going to your room for the night; he wants to see your reaction. But he can’t. All he can do is go up to his own bedroom fifteen minutes later, lingering in the hallway longer than he needs to.

Just as he’s about to give up and go to sleep, you walk down the hallway, coming back from the bathroom.

“Logan!” you call all excitedly when you see him, and his heart skips a beat. Do you know the drawing is from him? 

“Look,” you take his arm and pull him to your room, “I got another drawing!”

He breathes out in relief; you don’t know it’s from him. He smiles when you hold up the drawing, already framed.

“Were you expecting to get another drawing?” he teases.

“Noo, but the frames came in a pack of two. Isn’t it gorgeous?”

Logan looks at how your eyes sparkle, how proudly you’re showing him this drawing. All the work he put into it was definitely worth it. It’s another picture of your face, this time from a new angle, and with your hair styled differently, curls coiled another way from last time.

Logan clears his throat, remembering to keep up his act. “It looks good.”

“Good?” you take the frame from his hands defensively, “It’s beautiful.”

He chuckles, “Sorry, I don’t know much about this type of thing. It is beautiful though.” He’s looking at you instead of his drawing.

“It is. And you don’t have to know much about art or drawing to see how pretty this is. I still can’t believe someone would take the time to make these for me.”

Logan remains silent instead of saying what he wants to tell you. Of course he would take that time for you – and you don’t even know how much time it really took him. If there’s someone who’s worth it, it’s you.

Seeing your pleased smile at something he made for you, he decides he’s never going to stop drawing you.

-

He’s on a roll for some time. He’s better at drawing again now that he’s getting in practice, and he makes five drawings of you within the next weeks. Logan watches the collection of them on your nightstand grow fuller, along with your smile that somehow gets bigger every time you tell him about a new drawing.

It’s a wonder you haven’t caught on yet, but you don’t seem particularly interested in snooping around to find out who it is. You respect the person’s privacy, but you’ve confessed to him that you’d still love to know. 

“I won’t try to find out who it is. I won’t push it if they don’t want me to know… but, I mean, anyone would want to know, wouldn’t they?”

You’ve adopted the nickname of ‘secret admirer’ for this mysterious ‘they’, after Logan used the term about ten times. You were reluctant at first, because the person isn’t calling themself a secret admirer – you’d just be putting words in their mouth. But after seeing how much more beautiful the drawings get each time, you’ve accepted and admitted that, okay, yes, the person must be an admirer.

Your secret admirer Logan is particularly proud of his latest drawing, excited to bring it up to your room tonight. 

But this time he’s sloppy. He’s stayed for a few post-dinner card games with the team, and it’s risky, because you’ve been saying that it’s your last game for the last two rounds. But he also knows that you always say that, and never mean it.

Logan gets up to leave, and he hears Scott convincing you to play just one more round.

It’s stupid, really, risking it like that. Even if he’s gone from your room in time before you come upstairs, you could easily guess that it’s Logan. He’s the first one leaving the round tonight, so your first assumption could be that it was him.

Maybe subconsciously he wants to get caught. He’s seen how you light up at every drawing, and no matter how much you respect your admirer’s anonymity, of course you want to know who’s dedicating so much time and work to drawings of you. Of course it’s crossed your mind that the person isn’t just doing this because they’re a good friend. They’re drawing your face because they think it’s beyond beautiful.

Logan doesn’t really know why he hasn’t told you yet that he likes you. He’s good at flirting, and he’s attractive – he’s not blind. But with you it’s different, there’s a bigger risk, for the both of you. The older he gets, the harder it is to open up to yet another person. You’re friends, and you talk about personal things, but confessing that he’s in love with you is different.

Not to mention this stupid recurring dream he keeps having, in which you find out it’s Logan who’s been drawing you, and suddenly your opinion of the drawings changes. You don’t like him back like that, and suddenly the drawings feel creepy if you think about him staying up late drawing your face.

He rolls his eyes at himself and gets the thought out of his head, taking the small envelope out of the back pocket of his jeans, smoothing his hand over it. He looks around, making sure no one sees him.

Logan bends down to slide the envelope under your door as usual, but one of the corners of the paper catches against the wall, and he quickly opens it to check the drawing isn’t damaged. His heart is beating so fast, he feels stupid. 

He can hear footsteps, still far away, but he can hear them. Logan messily licks the edges of the envelope to close it back up, but it’s not sticking. He can’t decide between shoving it under the door like this or leaving now and bringing it back the next day. He can feel his heart hammering against his ribcage now.

Then he hears it. He miscalculated how far the footsteps were.

“Logan?”

He turns around slowly, and it feels like the world has frozen.

You come closer, looking at him and then at the letter that he must’ve dropped. It hasn’t made it under your door yet.

He says something before you can, “I’m delivering for someone else.”

“Who?” you ask, bending down to pick up the envelope. If he wasn’t petrified, he’d enjoy the view of you bent over in front of him.

He breathes. He can’t have anyone taking credit for his work, for his art (you called it that recently, he would never). But his heart is beating so fast he doesn’t know what the fuck to do or say. 

This is exactly why he never wanted to do any of this. He’s making a fool out of himself and that doesn’t usually happen, especially not over a piece of paper. Logan is confident, cocky even, he can admit that, and has no idea how to deal with things like being nervous; he never has to. This really isn’t him.

You don’t wait for an answer and look at the envelope. You open it so carefully, gently taking the drawing out with your fingertips. You’re treating it with so much care he immediately feels better. Again, this isn’t for him, it’s for you. (Well, it’s for him too but it’ll take him a while to admit that). 

He’s drawn your smile this time. You were happy in most of the drawings before, but he focussed more on the eyes, and your lips only ever tugged up in a slight smile. 

This one is a full-toothed grin, mid-laugh. 

You two were drinking last weekend. He barely felt it but your tipsy, giggly mood was contagious. He couldn’t imagine himself feeling any other way but blissful when you’re happy around him. 

It started when Logan made a casual comment about something silly Scott was wearing that night, and he had you giggling. He wanted to immediately hear that angelic sound again, of course, and so he gave you every joke about your shared friends he could think of – all light-hearted, but he was still glad you two were alone. 

It was the stupidest joke of all that made you really laugh, some dumb comparison between Xavier and Caillou. You probably wouldn’t even giggle at it anymore now, but in the moment it was so funny you almost spat out your drink from the deep belly laugh he drew from you, holding onto his bicep so you wouldn’t fall over as tears formed in your eyes from how hard you were laughing. He wanted to engrave the image on his soul. At least he got your smile on paper.

You look up at him now, eyes filled with tears. 

“You drew this?” you ask.

He nods softly. He can’t say it but he hopes the drawings convey how in love with you he is. 

Suddenly, Logan feels like his heart has stopped beating.

You’re kissing him. 

You’ve leaped up, wrapped your arms around the back of his neck, and now your lips are on his. 

He feels your mouth falter, probably because he’s being a fucking idiot and not kissing you back. Logan places his hands on your waist to pull you further towards him. Then his brain finally catches up and he can do what he’s wanted to for so long. 

He takes your chin with two fingers and angles you so you can kiss him easier. He closes his eyes and revels in the feeling of your soft, warm lips against him. You’re soft and warm all over. Your top has slipped up over his fingertips at your sides, and he slides his hands further around your back to support you against him even better. 

Logan’s tongue pushes at your lower lip, and you let out the sexiest, tiny moan of surprise as you part your lips for him, granting him access. 

His tongue touches the tip of yours and from then on your cravings intensify. You feel your way over his muscular shoulders, his big biceps and over the hard planes of his chest. When you’ve had a good feel there, your hands grip his shirt in desperation and Logan gets even hungrier for you. He gently bites at your lower lip, but then you shriek into his mouth and squirm out of his grasp. He opens his eyes wide. 

You grip Logan’s forearm for support when you bend down in a panic, picking up the drawing you just dropped. You let out a big breath of relief when you see it hasn’t been damaged. 

“You made me drop it!” You slap a hand to his chest; it doesn’t actually hurt and it’s not meant to, but it leaves a pleasant tingle behind instead. 

“I didn’t do anything”, Logan laughs, and you shake your head at him with a smile.

You take him into your room where you make him sit on the bed while you stare at the new drawing in awe. “I didn’t know you draw”, you say without taking your eyes off it.

“No one else knows.”

You pretend to zip your lips, smiling, “It’s our secret.” Logan can tell that you like that. He likes it too. It feels much better to share a secret with you than to be keeping one from you.

“I’ll only draw for you anyway, so there’s no point in telling anyone else.”

“You’re really good. I love the drawings.”

Logan gives a satisfied hum at your words, “You inspired me. Can’t have you walking around all pretty and not expect me to try and recreate it.”

You straddle Logan and hover over his lap to hug him, “They’re the best thing anyone's ever given to me. Do I really look like that?” You say the last question more quietly, and Logan wraps his arms around your sides, careful not to bump your hand that’s still holding the drawing.

“You’re more gorgeous than anything I could ever capture, but I think it comes close. I didn’t change anything about you to make you more beautiful. I couldn’t if I tried. I just tried to draw you as accurately as possible, that’s why it’s so beautiful.”

“I really love it,” you say again, happily staring at the details of the drawing. Hearing you say the word love so much tempts Logan, but he doesn’t want to move too fast. He doesn’t want to overwhelm you. He does, however, want to kiss you again.

Logan carefully takes the framed drawing and puts it on your nightstand. You push your mouth against his before he can initiate the kiss, and he grins against your lips.

You don’t know how to put your feelings into words, so you’re kissing him instead. He pulls you down so that you’re not hovering over but sitting on his lap, and the mood immediately shifts to something different. Logan doesn’t want to overwhelm you, but if you’re ready then he’ll take anything he can get.

Your chest is pressed against Logan’s, and you can feel the rise and fall of his chest when he breathes. You may or may not be pressing your boobs against his body on purpose.

“God, baby, I’ve waited so long for this,” he says, already breathless, as his hands trail down your back, leaving goosebumps behind.

“You’ve waited long?” you raise your eyebrows, grinning, “I’ve wanted to fuck you since the day I met you.”

You see the look in Logan’s eyes changing as he bites his lip, “Who says I didn’t want the same?”

You giggle, “Why did it take us so long?”

Logan chuckles, readjusting you so that you’re even closer to him, “I was too busy to actually talk to you, just been starin’ at you so I could draw you.” His cheeks have the faintest red tint, and you kiss them, hugging him.

You whisper into his ear, “Then it was worth the wait. And anyway, it’s not talking that I’m interested in right now.”

He pulls you back to look into your eyes, then at your lips. “Where do you want me?” he asks. You giggle slightly helplessly; you weren’t entirely prepared to have a man like Logan at your mercy like this tonight.

“You can do whatever you want,” you say softly, kissing him.

Logan’s lips are hungry against yours, strings of spit falling between you two, but he pauses the kiss to lie you on your back. “Wanna eat you out,” he husks, “Been dying to know what you taste like forever, bub. Can I?” He reaches for the hem of your top, and you nod so that he can pull it off you, admiring what’s underneath. 

“Sometimes I make myself cum imagining that I’m going down on you,” you confess somewhat shyly, but you figure he’s been so vulnerable for you that you can share a secret too.

Logan smirks, and pulls off his shirt, “Maybe we can make your dream come true then.”

You move to sit up, but he insists on eating you out first. You both take off all your clothes, staring at each other with huge smiles on your faces for a few moments. You’ve never seen Logan this happy.

“Look at you, baby. So pretty,” he leans down to kiss your lips, then down your neck, all the way to your legs. He spreads them, lying down between them as he all but drools at the sight of your wet pussy.

You get nervous all of a sudden. “It’s been a while,” you tell him. He looks up, taking your hand, enveloping it completely in his much bigger one.

“You sure about this? We can wait,” he gently kisses your knuckles, and a warmth spreads in your chest, slowing your heartbeat down a little.

“I’m sure,” you nod, and Logan comes up again to kiss you. The head of his hard cock catches against the space above your clit, and you both look down between your bodies. When Logan looks back up at you, his eyes are desperately begging you. You place your hand on his head, threading your fingers through his hair as he moves down your body.

“Such a pretty fucking pussy,” he mumbles into your thigh, kissing you there. You giggle, getting comfortable, your hand never leaving his hair.

Logan starts eating you out, his tongue gentle but determined against your clit.

“Taste so good, baby. Even better than I imagined.” You hum at Logan’s words, already feeling yourself come undone with his mouth on your wet pussy.

You sink further into the mattress when he starts sucking on your clit, licking into your pussy like a man starved every few moments, and your thighs squeeze around Logan’s head, and it’s even better than in his fantasies.

“Feels really good,” you tell him, pulling on his hair to stop yourself from moving too much, and Logan moans against your skin. Hearing your words motivates him even more, and he pushes two fingers into your wet pussy. He curls his fingers, rubbing up against that spot that makes you see stars.

Your back arches as you cum, Logan’s lips wrapped around your clit as your legs push harder against his head, and all he does is moan, revelling in the feeling.

Logan doesn’t stop licking your pussy until you’re tugging his head away by his hair, and he comes up for air with a grin on his face. You smile back, pulling him up to kiss him. You give yourself only a few seconds of recovery time before you make him sit down. You know you’d never have enough strength to actually make him get into a different position, but he lets you.

You push him onto his back, getting between his legs. You’re blinking up at him all prettily when you ask, “Can I suck your dick? Please?”

Logan huffs to himself because he can’t believe how hot you are, can’t believe that this is really finally happening. He tells you yes – he has no more words to describe how badly he wants this – and he watches you wrap your pretty lips around his cock.

It’s hard to grasp that it’s really you doing this right now – the woman he’s been into for so long. His cock is in your mouth and you look so gorgeous with spit running down from your lips, and all he can think of is all the dirty drawings he can now make of you, if you’ll let him.

He closes his eyes when you take him deeper, enveloping him with your warm, wet mouth. “Good girl,” he whispers absent-mindedly, too gone to say much more.

You’re not using your hands as you suck his cock, your spit trailing down on him, and you’re so eager. But it’s also late, and he sees you getting tired, eyes blinking slower as you pause to catch your breath every few moments. He also sees the determination in your eyes, and the absolute want, but he doesn’t want you to exhaust yourself. 

You look so sexy all fucked out, strings of spit connecting your mouth to his cock as you pull away another time, giggling up at him shyly when you realise that he’s noticing you getting tired.

“Just need a second,” you wipe your mouth, out of breath, and it’s not that you’re not incredibly hot like this, but he still wants to fuck you tonight and he’s not sure that will happen if you keep going.

“C’mere, baby,” he says, reaching out his hand.

“Huh?” you ask, taking his hand nevertheless.

“Get back here, baby. I’m gonna fuck you now, alright? Don’t want you tiring yourself out.”

You let him lift you and put you on your back, but you pout, “Wanna taste you.”

Logan grins, “I’ll cum in your mouth, princess. Promise.”

You smile at his answer, satisfied, so you lie back down, pulling your legs up to your chest. His cock looks huge as he jerks himself off between your legs, rubbing the tip against your clit, making you squirm.

“Don’t know if I can take you,” you bite your lip. You’re not entirely sure if you mean it or not. You definitely want to try.

“We’ll make it fit, baby, we’ll make it fit,” Logan assures you, leaning down to press a kiss to your mouth, a mix of your wetness and his precum between your mouths. You feel his cock at your pussy, “You ready?”

“I’m ready,” you nod desperately, letting him push his cock into your pussy. He pauses after a few inches, but you wrap your legs around his waist more tightly, and he goes deeper.

“Y’okay, baby? You can take it, right?”

You nod, unable to form words with your pussy stretched like this, a combination of pleasure and pain between your legs – but it’s infinitely more pleasure.

“That’s right. You’re my good girl, hm?” He kisses along your neck as he bottoms out, and you both moan when he’s got his cock fully stuffed inside you for the first time. He pulls out slightly when you whine at the stretch, but you scratch down his back to get his attention.

“I can take it,” you tell him, and you watch the look in his eyes darken.

He begins to fuck you, the pain subsiding more with every thrust into your wet pussy. You can barely take him, but it feels good. With your slight tiredness, you feel like you’re floating on cloud nine. 

You can’t believe that Logan – your super hot friend Logan who you’ve been fantasising about for so long – is fucking you. He not only feels the same way about you, but he’s been your secret admirer this entire time, taking hours and hours out of his day to make you smile. You’re the only one he wants.

And now he’s fucking you, fucking you well, and you feel so warm inside, not just from the sex but you feel warm in your heart, because of Logan’s care.

“You okay?” he asks, stroking a hand down your face when he notices you’re not entirely present. You nod happily, smiling up at him, and you can’t talk because you feel so good.

“Good, that’s good, bub, but let me know if it gets too much,” he says as he starts rubbing your clit, watches you nod while he’s fucking you so well, and he’s so big and so deep inside of you, “Squeezing me so tight, baby, feel so fucking good.”

You cum suddenly, letting the warm pleasure flow through your body as Logan keeps fucking you through it, rubbing your clit in just the right rhythm.

“That’s my girl, taking it so well,” he moans, breaths stuttering. You slump against the pillow after a few moments, with a soft smile on your face, and Logan pulls out.

“Gonna make me cum, baby,” he jerks his cock, and you sit up on your elbows immediately, looking him in the eyes with a smile as you stick out your tongue for him. He promised.

Logan moans when he cums, painting your face in his release, jerking himself off. He holds your head in place with his other hand, aiming for your mouth but you’re making no effort to catch his cum there.

“Such a pretty fucking face, princess, ’m cumming all over it,” he rasps, shooting more ropes of his cum all over your cheeks, jacking off onto your face.

You open your eyes when he’s done and breathing heavily, and you smile up at him. You open your mouth, taking the head of his cock between your lips to suck off the last drops of cum.

“Look at you, baby. Look so fucking pretty with my cum all over your gorgeous face.”

You hum, pulling your mouth off him and licking your lips, tasting his salty release. You brush a finger over your cheek, sucking it into your mouth to taste him more. Logan kisses you then, the flavour of himself mixing between your mouths.

He cleans you up gently, carefully wiping your face with a baby wipe and kissing every inch of your cheeks afterwards. You take his face to kiss him properly, and if you didn’t seem so tired Logan would be ready for round two immediately.

“Next time you could try to actually cum in my mouth,” you tease, making Logan grin.

“Sorry, baby. Got too excited. Couldn’t focus on asking you again if it was okay.” He presses an open-mouthed kiss to your lips.

“It’s okay,” you tell him, “I liked it.”

Logan grins, “Oh I could tell you liked it, baby.” You lightly slap his chest as you giggle, pulling him in for another kiss.

You cuddle for a while, not saying much because you don’t have to. You’ve both waited for this for so long that you’re just enjoying the moment, enjoying that it finally happened.

You slip out of his arms to sit on top of him. You’re in nothing but panties, the blanket bunching around your hips. You lean your hands against his chest as you tell him more about how much the drawings delighted you. And Logan cares, of course he cares to hear that, but he’s also just a man seeing the woman he’s into naked for the first time still. 

You become quiet when you realise that he’s not listening, and you giggle, “Distracted?”

Logan grins, “Just a little fucking bit, baby.” His eyes don’t leave your body, and you laugh as you bend down to kiss him. He grabs your ass, kneading the flesh. When you slightly sit up again, your tits are near his face, and he can’t help himself. He cups your breasts, playing with your nipples, making you hum.

“I should draw these,” he looks up at you, “Should draw every perfect fucking inch of you.”

“You wanna?” You adjust how you’re seated in his lap, and you feel that he’s already half hard under you again.

“Maybe after I’ve fucked you again.”

You smile, feeling yourself growing wetter on top of him.

“Tomorrow,” he continues, and your smile drops.

“But you’ve got to get more familiar with the inspiration, right? If you’re going to draw me.”

“That’s true, baby. But I think you’re too tired.”

You smile bashfully, ignoring how your eyelids were drooping shut just a few seconds ago, “Okay, but then I’ll have more energy for tomorrow.”

“That’s my girl,” he smiles, pulling you off him to cuddle you again. He tucks you in and kisses your head. 

You turn to your side, taking one of the framed drawings and looking at it for a while. 

Logan watches you looking at it, and the sparkle in your eyes never fails to make him feel all warm inside. “Now that you actually know about it, I don’t have to draw you from memory anymore. I can study my muse in peace.”

“Aww, I’m your muse?” you beam.

“Of course you are, princess. You’re the only reason I’m drawing again.”

“I love your drawings so much.”

Logan clears his throat, and looks at you. “Well, I love you. So, I think that went into them.”

You look at him, pouting and then kissing him. “I love you too,” you say into his mouth. He grins against your lips, pulling you closer to kiss you some more. He can barely grasp that you just said that, but he’ll have enough time soon to comprehend how lucky he is. 

For now, he takes your hand, and asks, “The question might be redundant now, but do you wanna be mine? Be my girlfriend?”

“I’m already yours.”

Logan grins, takes you in his arms, and you’re still cuddling when you’re both drifting off to a peaceful sleep.

P.S. reblog with a comment and let me know your favourite moment/what you liked to get a drawing from Logan under your door tonight and a facial <33

gorgeous divider by @pommecita

[bruisedboys]

can I request eddie and shy!reader with reader’s first kiss?! I imagine he’d be so gentle with her!

I want him to be my first kiss so bad!! waiting for him to be real so he can kiss me tbh

summary: eddie gives shy!you your first kiss

shy!fem!reader 0.9k words

Eddie thinks you look really pretty.

He’d tell you so but he’s already told you twice tonight, and he’s pretty sure if he says it again you’ll burst into flames on the spot. You’re quite shy — it’s endearing and very adorable but it also means Eddie has to be more careful of what he says and does. He wouldn’t want to scare you off.

He watches you pore over a book, sitting cross-legged on his bed. He badly wants to tell you how lovely you look. In a t-shirt that’s too big for you and a pair of sweatpants. Your hair all messy pretty and tucked behind your ears. He holds his tongue, turning back to the old band tee he’s hacking the sleeves off on his bedroom floor.

“Eddie?”

Your voice breaks the comfortable silence you and Eddie had been sitting in. Eddie puts down his scissors and looks up. He likes the way you’ve said his name, like he’s the only person ever. He’s sure he sounds similar when he says your name. He smiles at you.

“Yeah?”

You shuffle forwards on his bed, sliding to the edge until your legs dangle off. Eddie’s struck, yet again, by how beautiful you are. It takes all the breath out of his chest.

“Um.” You pause then, and get this nervous look on your face. Eddie knows it well. You’re often nervous around him.

He sits up straighter. By the looks of it you’re wanting to tell him something. Or ask him something. “Yeah, honey?”

Your eyes flick to Eddie and then back to your hands where they’re twisted in your lap. Eddie sees the tap tap tap of your foot, the wringing of your hands. He shuffles forward on the floor and gets a hand on your knee, fingers curling around the bottom of your thigh.

“What is it?” He asks softly.

When you answer your staring at your lap, determined to avoid Eddie’s eyes.

“Well … I just. I was reading that part in The Princess Bride, the bit about the five kisses? And I just wondering …” You reach up and scrub the back of your neck awkwardly. “Why haven’t we kissed yet?”

Eddie balks. He was not expecting that. It’s a big question — for you to ask and for Eddie to answer. He has his own reasons. The biggest one being he’s afraid to scare you off, to mess up maybe the best thing in his life right now. Not only that, but he knows how tentative you are about relationship stuff. It’s all new to you.

The silence stretches too long. Eddie rushes to break it before you think he’s gone and backed out on you.

“Oh.” He says, more flustered than he’s ever been with you. Normally you’re the flustered one. He’s realising now how hard it is being on the receiving end. “Well, um. I … I guess—“

“Do you not want to?” You ask quietly, interrupting Eddie’s rambling.

Eddie stops short. “What?” He stares up at you. He can hardly believe you think that. Of course he wants to kiss you — he’d kind of thought you wouldn’t want him to. “No. No, sweetheart, that’s not it. I just. Well, I just wanted to wait until you were ready … “ He pauses, catches the look on your face, like you’re waiting for something to happen. “Are you ready?”

You bite your lip. Not for the first time, Eddie wonders what it would be like to kiss your lips. You nod very slowly.

“I think so,” you say. You’re staring at his mouth now.

Eddie nods so quick he almost snaps his neck. He hardly cares.

“Okay,” he says earnestly. He scrambles to his feet and then moves to stand in front of you, your knees pressing into his legs.

You blink up at him. Eddie can’t resist taking your face in his hands. Your skin is hot to touch. He imagines his face would feel the same.

“You’re really pretty,” he says despite himself. Even though he’d promised not to tell you again until at least tomorrow.

“Eddie,” you chide softly.

Eddie just grins. “Are you sure you want to?” He asks you, struggling to hear himself over the thump of his heart in his ears. He very much wants to give you a Princess Bride worthy kiss right now.

You nod around his hands. “I’m sure,” you say.

Eddie leans in then. His hands on your face, pulling you gently towards him. His eyelids fluttering shut. It feels different but it feels right. He’s about half a second away from kissing you when you say,

“Wait.”

Eddie opens his eyes. You’re so close he could count your eyelashes.

“What?” He whispers back.

“I’ve never kissed anyone before,” you say. Your breath fans over Eddie’s mouth, your lips ghosting over his. It takes all his might not to kiss you right then and there. “I don’t know how,” you admit.

“That’s okay,” Eddie tells you. It is okay. And he’s maybe a lot more honoured than he should be that he’s gonna be your first kiss. “You’ll learn.”

“You’ll teach me?”

Eddie looks at you and thinks yeah, he’ll teach you. He’ll do literally anything you could ever ask of him. “Of course, angel.”

“Okay,” you say. You smile and Eddie thinks if he doesn’t kiss you now he might pass out.

He kisses you. He doesn’t pass out but he comes pretty close.

-

[hadesisqueer]

hows is it obvious that daenerys was the prince who was promised?

im not saying she is not i just havent read the books and im curious

I mean, I read the books a long time ago, so I'll tell you what I remember after a bit of research.

There are two figures, The Prince That Was Promised, which is a prophecy hero, and Azor Ahai, a legendary hero from thousands of years ago who'd be reborn. They have been used interchangeably, which implies that they're believed to be the same person.

There are several characters who are believed by others to be —or who believed themselves to be— Azor Ahai reborn/TPTWP. Melisandre thought it was Stannis, then if I recall she thought it was Jon Snow. Rhaegar, who was obsessed with the prophecy, thought it was him, and then he thought it was his son Aegon (the son of Elia Martell, not Jon; Jon is not really confirmed to be R + L's son in the books yet if I recall, and we don't know if his name would actually be Aegon... probably not tbh because who names his two sons Aegon). Maester Aemon first thought it was Rhaegar, and then he became convinced it was Dany.

After looking back, I remember that a witch told Jaehaerys II (Dany's grandpa) that TPTWP came from his children Aerys and Rhaella's line, which is why he arranged the marriage with each other. If we assume that that is true, then actually there would have been six possible TPTWP: Rhaegar, Aegon VI, Rhaenys, Viserys, Daenerys and Jon Snow. Rhaegar, Viserys and Rhaenys are all dead, so I guess whe could scratch them. Aegon VI (Young Griff) is supposedly still alive in the books and he fits one part of the prophecy —and so did Rhaegar in a way. But lots of people are not really sure that Aegon is actually who he says he is and that he might be a fake.

Melisandre believed it could be Jon. If I recall, there's a part where she said something like 'I ask the lord to show me Azor Ahai and all I see is snow' or something like that (again, it's been a while since I read the books, sorry?).

Now, Daenerys? She fits the prophecy to a T.

Born of Aerys and Rhaella's line? She is their daughter. Check.

Born amidst salt and smoke? Well, she was born in Dragonstone, a volcanic island, so literally born amidst salt (from the sea) and smoke (from the volcano). Metaphorically speaking though, she was also reborn amidst the salt of her tears and smoke from Drogo's funeral pyre. So... Check. Twice, I guess.

A 'bleeding star' would be a herald for the arrival of the prince. There was a Red Comet when Daenerys went into the funeral pyre, where she was reborn. So-- Check.

It was also said that TPTWP would 'awake dragons from stones'. While there are other characters that fit other requirements, Daenerys is the only one who fits this one, unless someone else manages to make three petrified dragon eggs hatch like she did. So-- Check.

Now, the whole thing: Lightbringer. Lightbringer was Azor Ahai's legendary sword. He tried making it three times, but the first two times the sword broke when he tried tempering; he finished the sword by stabbing his wife in the heart. It was said that Azor Ahai would be reborn when stars bleed and cold comes or something like that, and that that warrior would draw Lightbringer as a flaming sword from a fire.

Does Daenerys have Lightbringer? As an actual, physical sword, no. Metaphorically-- yeah. It's Drogon.

She tried to make her dragons hatch (create her weapon) twice and fails-- until she kills her husband and places the eggs in his funeral pyre: she places Drogon's egg beside Drogo's heart, just like Azor Ahai stabbed his wife there and that's where Lightbringer came to be. Then she emerged from the pyre with dragons while there was a red comet (again, bleeding star; the 'cold' would be The Others —White Walkers in the show— and the Winter that comes). Dragons, well-- are fire made flesh. So-- yeah. While she doesn't have a literal sword, Daenerys has her Lightbringer, and it's Drogon.

So, yeah. While people have a lot of theories about who TPTWP/Azor Ahai reborn would be, and there are other characters who fit some requirements, Daenerys is the only one who fully fits the prophecy. That's why a lot of people aren't shocked that it's her in HOTD. It is kind of obvious in the books lmao

[bringinubackto2014]

How the creepypasta's would be in a relationship.

Jeff The Killer

•He's probably the worst to date tbh. I don't see him as a misunderstood uwu boy, no he's manic. He'd get less assholey the longer you were together though, but in the beginning expect being insulted more than greeted

•He wouldn't be physically affectionate either. Maybe you'll get to hug him once or twice, but for the first year or so if you try to initiate something expect to be pushed away. But maybe once he trusts you (it'll take years) then he'll cuddle you once in a blue moon.

•A goodish thing about dating him instead of the others, he doesn't get jealous, and if he does its only a little bit. He probably wont care too much if you do leave him, but if he grows it love you A LOT he'll just kill whoever tried to take you, simple as that. (just an extra thing I feel like he'd want to give you the mouth scar he has to claim you as his)

overall rating 5/10, it would suck dating but he's hot so ill give him that

Eyeless Jack

•He's really quiet, so don't expect verbal praises or compliments too much. But he's definitely more loving than Jeff. But he probably loves way more easily, it'll take a good 9 months for him to realize that he doesn't ever want to kill or eat you, and that he's found someone he cares for.

•He's super strong and tall, maybe around 8 feet. But he has a sleeper build (idk if that's the right term), this dude looks skinny but he could crush your head with two of his fingers if he wanted to. So he always has to be gentle, he'd be really scared of touching you at first

•Before he found love in being affectionate with you, he would offer you organs (how sweet), to be honest, he'd probably want to propose by giving you a ring stuck in a kidney. (He's a true romantic)

overall rating 7/10 he's great but your gonna have to drive everywhere since he's blind and the smell of human organs get a little gross sometimes

Ticci Toby

•He says that he doesn't trust people at first, that might be true but when he met you. oh God his trauma spilled out so fast. He didn't mean to spill it but it just kinda came out

•Once he found out that he could trust you he loved you with all his heart. He gets really shy but he'll compliment you all the time under his breathe. He wouldn't anitiate hugs/cuddles or anything and it'll take him a while to get comfy with it. But once he does he'll never want to stop holding you

•He has a lot of anxiety attacks and mental breakdowns. Do NOT touch him when thats happening, he can't control himself. So he'll either hide in the woods or sit in Jack's room until he feels better

overall rating 9/10 he's pretty much perfect other than the breakdown things, but he goes on TikTok and I feel like he goes thought depressed vent pages (like the ones made by kids who got yelled at their parents once.) and he quotes them a lot so its kinda annoying

Jane (she's mine guys sorry)

•Kinda like Jack she's very quiet and distant. It takes FORVER to get her to trust you so until then expect one sided convos. Once she does open up she'll express her love verbally, but rarely and she speaks so quiet its hard to hear

•She's a writer, she'll write you love letters, in the beginning she'll hide them, but eventually she'll let you read some. Only some. She'll also write poems as well, she would make a whole book of poems she wrote for you.

•It'll take months for her to take her mask off, she'll need constant reassurance about her face and her scars. If you do her makeup in the style of her mask (gothic kinda) she would marry you. right then and there

overall rating 10/10 nothing is wrong with that perfect woman

[starberry-cupcake]

After a weekend that exhausted me, I am finally able to come back to this book. My reacts proved useful to remind me where I left of, who would have thought.

previously, on harrowberry the ninth:

this happened

also, harrowberry is courtesy of @lady-harrowhark

after which I suggested the following album cover as a representation of her

currently, chapters 14-16:

"The Mithraeum, the seat of the First Reborn! The Sanctuary of the Emperor of the Nine Houses, the bolthole of God"

I don't want to sound like gideon

I really don't

but I have to be entirely honest here

I read that sentence twice, at separate times

and neither of those times did I read "bolthole"

MOVING ON

harrowberry is settled in a room which was made for a lyctor that never was

I don't know if this is at all important but it caught my eye

I wonder what happened there

and I am, as we have established, fixating on very particular things

the emperor johnny bravo has a room that's described as a locked tomb, but harrow says that, unlike the other locked tomb, she's not interested to see what's in this one

on the one hand, I want to know what this guy's actually doing but, on the other, I don't care about what's going on in his intimacy

harrow is also surprised that he gets embarrassed

which I don't, because he should be embarrassed and ashamed about all of the stuff that is going on in general

I don't know specifics and I don't know details, but I know he's at fault

like we say over here, I've got no evidence but I've got no doubt

he tells harrowbean about the BOE

he says they hate the nine houses and that they have agents who turn planets against them

they got themselves a leader about 25 years before harrow was born, who made things more difficult for johnny man

let's bring back the timeline I'm constantly discarding and bringing back

we've been told now that: this leader showed up 25 years before harrow was born, they disappeared nearly 20 years ago and gideon was born 18 years ago in space to a mom who was brain dead upon arriving at ninth

there's also the whole eggs thing that idk if it has something to do with this or not but we're not totally throwing anything away here

we've moved from a cork board to a 3d model at this point

emperor johnny boo is blaming these people for not!dulcinea going ballistic

idk johnny man, you kind of fucked that up on your own I think, but go off, I guess

he also says that the BOE folks hate necromancers and necromancy

I don't wanna be making assumptions with little to no info (literally all I've been doing) but all I've seen so far is these people teaching harrow to kill planets

that's not what miss frizzle told me I should be doing when she wore the most iconic looks in television history

maybe if the emperor dressed like this I'd be trusting him more

emperor johnny also clocked harrow being a ninth kid smoothie

because harrow was doing theorems in the river and only one other person ever did that before

the person who founded the sixth

we're ok with the sixth because camilla came from there

when harrow starts telling him the smoothie story, the emperor says "This was...all so different...before we discovered the scientific principles" and proceeds to tell her that her parents basically did a mini resurrection

he says "I have committed the same act, and I know the price I had to pay" and calls her "a walking miracle"

to which harrow responds "I have just told you that I am the product of my parents' genocide"

emperor, my man

he says "nobody has to know" about the kid smoothie

there sure are a lot of things people aren't supposed to know or ask about over here in the emperor's bolthole

*me, high fiving gideon's force ghost*

he says the initials of BOE mean "blood of eden" and that Eden is "someone they left to die"

then he quotes shakespeare??? I think king lear???

“How sharper than a serpent's tooth it is To have a thankless child”, that quote

I'm not super knowledgeable when it comes to shakespeare tbh but...ominous

he also says "once you turn your back on something, you have no more right to act as though you own it"

and harrow thinks "at the time, that had made perfect sense to you"

that's pinned under the "hope for later" category

NEXT CHAPTER

harrow talks to ice cube barbie in her dreams

ice cube barbie says she's died twice

THEN, AND THIS IS VERY IMPORTANT

harrow asks her if she has ortus's eyes or if her eyes are hers and what her eyes are like

and ice cube barbie says "she asked me not to tell you"

this is me, adding another thing to the "hopeful hints for gideon" shrine I am building

chapter 16

harrow asks yandere twin about her diary and she says it has been burned on her own orders

more hints for my theory of past!harrow knowing a lot and planning ahead

harrowcita calls lyctortus (name suggested by the reply gang, thank you reply gang) "the other one"

which could be "other" as in "other lyctor" or as in "other ortus", so it's fine either way

harrow is worried about not!dulcinea still being a threat

AREN'T WE ALL

AREN'T WE ALL

I SURE AM, ALWAYS

she should have been flushed into space

harrow thinks not!dulcinea is moving and yandere twin calls her "crazycakes"

then we start going a bit more in depth about augustine

I have come to understand that he isn't called "saint of patience" because he's patient

he's called "saint of patience" because that's what you have to practice when you're around him

good god, this man

he has the charisma of the fifth but the disagreeable nature of the eighth

here I am, making judgment on these people I only know like 2 representatives of, but anyway

he's like if magnus hadn't discovered a passion for baking and had instead decided his hobby was to be passive aggressive and thinking too highly of himself

his cav was his brother, apparently

harrow thinks he's hollow inside

he is absolutely horrendous to mercygirl

BUT, MOST IMPORTANTLY

he also alludes to not!dulcinea moving and thinks mercygirl is doing it

I don't know about this, you guys

two mulders in one recap is what you get when I have been forced to not read for a couple days

I think fox mulder represents my energy in these recaps

Augustine The Unpleasant mentions that johnny j has "spent the last 10 thousand years on a perpetual search-and-destroy mission out of, as far as I can tell, purely symbolic retribution"

great, that sounds fantastic for god to do

and that "I wouldn't set myself up as his replacement A.L. He doesn't need another bodyguard, and even she was significantly more lucid than you are" (you being mercygirl)

I had mentioned the possibility of ice cube barbie being this AL person, we still don't know, but this AL is "she"

let's put that in the 3D model

augustine calls chad a "nice boy", which tracks for him being a Senior Chad

he treats harrow badly, which we absolutely don't stan over here in the harrow respect corner

harrow obliterates him with a comeback and he calls her Anastasia (You were born in a palace by the sea / A palace by the sea? Could it be?) like the previous ninth

these people love comparing their old pals to everyone they meet, even if they supposedly didn't get along much

harrow also makes fun of yandere twin for being what gideon would call "a weenie" over augustine

then we get the augustine and johnny explanation of how to kill the beast

I am all for information but this whole thing gives me the worst vibes

basically he says the beasts (disrespectful name) eat planets like oysters and then keep the thanergy as armor

the beast can inhabit anything it's thanergetically connected to it via their death

like that which they kill

they travel as river projections

they have agents, which he describes like the borg in star trek

individual forms connected to its hive

the whole lyctor thing, having a necromancer's ability with a cav's training to take over the body, seems to be a key to fighting these things

because the necro part goes down into the river to do the thing and the cav can take over the defense of the body

this, I think, could be what we saw harrow doing in the prologue, the projection thing

but harrow's body isn't protected, because she's "lyctor lite"

because there's hope for gideon or so help me john

which might be why yandere twin was telling her she would not be guarded if she did what she was about to do

I am very intrigued as to what harrow will come to know to push her to do what she did

also, she got stabbed, so I'd like to know if she's fine

but we have 0 guarantees of anything over here in the mithrandir or whatever

the emperor's bolthole

god, what has gideon done to me

they say the point of the combat is to throw the beast's soul into the abyss and hope it doesn't come back

that's what I've been trying to do with not!dulcinea all this time

ALSO still no camilla

see you next time and thank you for not hating the length of these things ♥

[yubnubforhire]

I’ve seen a lot of people decry criticism of the rwrb movie as simply either homophobic or anti-cringe, with the statement ‘let queer people have our cringe rom-coms’ a common defense. This idea is flawed for many reasons, not least of which being that this movie is like… barely queer. Sure it’s about a queer couple, but that’s about where it stops.

First off there’s the blatant bi erasure, with no discussion of Nora’s sexuality, no June/Nora/Pez, the word bisexual only being used once or twice in the whole movie, etc. Second off is the complete lack of queer education or community: where is Alex learning about the gay lib movement and feeling like he understands something new, deep within himself? Where is Henry talking about his role amongst the erased queer figures of the past? Where are the crowds supporting both of them, in the US and the UK? (the scene at buckingham where you don’t even see the crowd felt so cheap) Where was Amy’s role as queer elder and protector? Where was Luna, and Alex’s realization as to why he looked up to him so much and why his betrayal hurt so bad? Where was Alex realizing he and Liam had actually ‘had a thing’ when they were younger, and reconnecting with him as someone who can fully be himself? Where was all the support when they got outed? Where the fuck was Catherine? Where were Bea and Catherine fighting for them during the confrontation at buckingham? Movie!firstprince feel so isolated and without community, which is just SO not the world CMQ created in the book.

More broadly, the movie just felt so shallow. I completely understand the need for adaptation and translation to a new medium, but so many of the things they changed either lower the stakes or remove them entirely. Bea is a non-character, with no depth or backstory. Nora only exists to tell Alex to fuck Henry. Pez gets all of one line in the entire movie. June does not exist, which should completely change things because Alex does not act like the only/eldest child of the POTUS. We never really see the emails and a lot of them are adapted to onscreen dialogue, so what exactly was leaked? Why are they called the Waterloo letters? No one watching the movie alone will know. Who leaked them? I figure the movie implies it was Miguel, but then why have Richards be a character at all? CMQ was making a point with the Richards/Luna story, and the movie having a new side character as the “villain” is just… so disappointing. We don’t see any of the scenes of Henry acknowledging how fucked up the monarchy is (other than a few throwaway jokes), the comparison to the Empire, any of the Bea storyline, or him trying to avoid military service and renounce his royal inheritance, so the one line towards the end when movie!Henry has an outburst about the monarchy being antiquated is just completely unearned and comes out of nowhere.

They kept the line where Oscar tells Alex that ‘sometimes you just have to jump and hope it’s not a cliff’ but it’s now completely devoid of the context— that line is about Oscar telling Alex he doesn’t regret getting together with Ellen, no matter how it ended. It doesn’t work the same if Oscar and Ellen are still happily married! (Justice for Leo also tbh)

In the confrontation at Buckingham, the king (don’t get me started on the things they changed to avoid comparisons to queen liz) still suggests to Henry that they should claim the leaks are deepfakes and deny it, but Alex already gave the live televised speech in the movie timeline! It’s out already! The entire scene with the king honestly just does not work if Alex has already made the speech. Also side note, there’s absolutely no way in turbohell that Alex would make that speech without talking to Henry first.

There’s so much more I could talk about, from more script shenanigans to the Pip of it all, but this is honestly already way too long. All I want to say now is that it’s obviously everyone’s prerogative to like a movie or not, and nothing anyone else says should change the way you personally feel about a piece of art. That does not mean, however, that any criticism of said art is incorrect or unwarranted. You can like something and still acknowledge its flaws. And no, cringiness is not this movie’s main flaw.

[sjmgirlie]

I’m sorry. I try not to be rude about people’s ships because well you have fun with what you like and I’m totally okay with that. But the discourse about the Blood Rite and Hybern camp is hilarious.

Of course Cassian was freaking out knowing his mate was in the BR. A completely normal reaction when you have strong feelings/a bond with someone. Did Azriel? No. Was he still furious at the mention that the women he is training are in harms way? Of course??? Contrary to popular believe, Azriel actually exhibits way more protectiveness over the females in his life than any other character in ACOTAR:

Mor - Eris calls her a slut and he literally almost chokes him to death. Always protective of her in Court of Nightmares and around Eris.

Feyre - be careful how you speak about my High Lady. Helps her with flying and other moments.

Nesta - He brought her back from the mask and comforted her in CC3. Was never mean to her in any of the books even when the rest of IC was.

Elain - Hybern, when everyone (including her sisters and mate) thought she was crazy. There’s more.

His mother - Nesta makes a comment about how Az probably has a bad mom and he gets mad.

These are off the top of my head.

I feel like people forget that Az… does not like Illyrians. He literally said in ACOFAS:

“A pointless week of bloodshed” pg 25

“The Illyrians are pieces of shit” pg 67

If it truly came down to it, I’m sure that Azriel would at least argue to break their rules. Just like Cassian did. But Cassian still cares about the Illyrians. Azriel really doesn’t.

The involvement of Nesta and Gwyn is the Blood Rite is not as significant as Emerie’s!!!!!! Emerie is an Illyrian woman. She is the ONLY Illyrian woman to ever win the Rite. THAT is the biggest plot point of the event. Yes, Gwyn and Nesta participating builds on their healing journeys and the Valkyrie, but Emerie winning the Rite initiates what SJM laid out in ACOFAS. Where Cassian and Emerie first met. The layout for a change in Illyrians and the Illyrian women actually training as warriors.

If anyone is going to “fix” the Illyrians, it will be Emerie. Not Gwyn or Nesta. Emerie, the ILLYRIAN women. And Cassian would be who helps potentially. Because he actually cares about the Illyrians regardless of his history. He is the General. Of course he cares.

Now in terms of the rescue of Elain in Hybern, as many have already said, this was a massive risk. Cassian said "We'll get her back", but moved to comfort Nesta. Not only did Az actually notice Elain wasn’t there, but he also specifically said “I'M getting her back” twice (with rage if I might add) even after Nesta specifically said “then you will die”. Az, Feyre and Elain could have died in this rescue attempt too.

What was the point of this kidnapping if not to show he saves her? Tamlin redemption for giving Feyre the wind to fly? Jurian helping Feyre enter the camp? For Feyre to fly? Like maybe but the biggest point was Azriel going to save Elain. Tbh we kind of needed Feyre there to narrate lol. “You came for me” which Feyre says is what she saw in her dream of what the cauldron even lured Elain in by. That Grayson had come for her. He didn’t, it was Azriel.

Do I think if there weren’t the rules for the Rite that Cassian and Azriel would have went to save them? Of course they would have. But they weren’t meant to rescue them.

This was the big moment in all of the healing journeys for the Valkryie. For Emerie, becoming the first Illyrian women to win it. For Gwyn, leaving the library and becoming a true warrior. For Nesta, holding the line and protecting the people she loves like she hasn’t been able to before. THAT is the purpose of the Blood Rite. Not determining if there’s some couples involved. We already know the couple involved. It’s Nessian.

We seriously need to stop diminishing massive moments in the female characters journeys to ships.

[sam-blackbird]

An analyse of Umbrella Academy s4's posters (beware of s3 spoilers, ofc)

Hi! Today, the official Umbrella Academy Instagram account published season 4 posters, and since I'm very excited about this, I'm gonna try to analyse the posters, or what I can tell about them.

It's going to be long so grab a snack if you want / can, put on a cool playlist, and let's dive down! I'm going to do it poster by poster, in the order it was posted, from the oldest post to the newest (so not in numeral order).

We can notice that the characters are cut in two, the Portal way.

Anyway. First of all: Viktor !

Ngl, I had a moment when I saw he had the masculine uniform.

But past my joyful moment, my mind went racing so fast I couldn't keep it down, I had to share my thoughts (even if there may be only one person reading me, but whatever).

First thing first, it's interesting that the first one isn't Luther but Viktor, who is, the main character of the show (or at least, that's how I see it). Or a least the most important one. (if the last scene is Viktor ending his reading of his new book, about his siblings, not only would it be a fucking good epanadiplosis but it would make me cry the hell out of me)

After all, the show open with him, following him. And nothing would happen if it wasn't for him. He's the one trying to get the family stick together, and (unwillingly) starting apocalypse (twice or thrice, shit happens).

Let's focus on the poster now. On the left, we have a clothing reminding us of the Umbrella Academy days, or rather the "how it was before the show", except they are adult, and Viktor is here shown post-transition (and not pre-, as he was in the first two seasons). What does that mean? Fuck if I know. That being said, I think it have its importance (if they wanted to put children instead, they would have, wouldn't they?). However, we can note that he is not wearing neither the boy shorts (nor girl's skirt, for obvious reasons), but some secretly third option, aka a grey pant (is it the sport pant?). He is standing out himself, as a trans man (not wearing a skirt, yet not wearing the boy uniform either, as if he wasn't fully in that category somehow? idk).

Viktor's posture is straight (lol), and I associate it with being calm, obedient (he listen to everything Reginald says (ex: take these pills), and since Reginald is perceived as a father figure, it makes sense that Viktor wants to obey him, maybe hoping he (Viktor) will be loved and recognized as valuable). And also with being like a puppet. Or a muppet. The point is: He's not free of his movement, he doesn't have free will.

His face doesn't look happy. Nor sad. Just... neutral. He's just... there.

On the right, we can't see his face, yet his posture seems way more relaxed! He's wearing casual clothes, more modern ones, adapted to the world without powers they're now seems to live at the end of season 3.

His looks reminds me of the one of Tyler Ronan from Tell Me Why, a game by the studio Don't Nod (I fucking love that game). Both characters are trans man.

(These are pictures of Tyler)

Anyway. Casual clothes. Blue, like the uniform. I won't analyse that, this post is already long enough.

Tbh, I haven't saw again the last episode of season 3, so I don't remember if it was the clothes they were wearing or new ones.

Also, Viktor is holding an umbrella in his right hand, probably a reference to the Umbrella days. Like, it's a part of him, he can't leave it behind, he physically have it with him (even if he doesn't have the power).

And the Umbrella is closed, unlike the ones from the previous seasons's posters.

Like, season 2's were opened (and full), and season 3's were opened and damaged (and they were hiding the protagonists' faces, showing implicitly the influence of the academy on them).

Next one, Luther !

We almost can see his face on the right!

But anyway, let's start by the left. Luther is walking, straight, in what could be either a military walk or a relaxed one (? don't quote me on this please, I can't explain). His posture screams "confidence" and "I'm number one, I'm a leader, follow me!". Or something like that, I'm no posture reader, just someone who watched way too much police and detective shows. He's wearing the Umbrella uniform (and it's so fucking weird to see it on a grown ass man!). His hair are cut short.

On the right, he's wearing a more casual look. There's something going one with his arm muscles, but I can't be bother to search what. His hair are longer than on the left. He is wearing gloves and an umbrella, and walking shoes. His umbrella is cutting his name (does it have some symbolism? Maybe.)

He's still wearing blue (like Viktor), even if it's a different kind of blue (and it kinda fit him).

Nothing more to add. (yes, I have my favorites, and despite liking Luther, I won't kill my eyesight anymore than necessary for details).

Next! Diego!

Let me preface this by saying that it's so fucking weird to see him in that uniform. On the left, he's walking like a good little soldier, following the leader.

On the right, he's the embodiment of a relax guy who can (and will) definitely yeet you out of the picture if needed. He's not wearing anything casual. It's more like a killer / soldier clothes, with his precious knifes.

DOES HE HAVE A MUSTACHE????

He's holding the Umbrella on the shoulder, as if he can't be bothered with it (and/ or he's gonna use it as a weapon).

Next! Not number 3, but the one who's linked to Diego! Lila!

Love that she's officially "Lila Hargreeves".

The left outfit is like the one she had in season 2 when she was with the Handler and stuff about her past was revealed (so interesting and meaningful choice of outfit). Her heels are thin, as if she wasn't stable (with her life situation and all).

Yet, on the right, her heels are thicker, more stable to move (she's more free to go).

Her clothes are modern and the flowers fit her really well, I might say. Her hair are put up, like the active badass woman she is. They're brown again, and not white/ blond anymore, it's more natural.

She overall looks like a business woman, with a casual chic.

She too, is holding an umbrella, which make her fully part of the family. She hold it casually.

Next, another girl: Allison.

Ngl, I'm no big fan of hers, so this will be short.

On the left, she's confidently wearing her UA (Umbrella Academy) uniform. Her hand move don't really feel natural (saying this as someone who sometimes draws human beings). Her hair are like the one from season 1.

On the right, she looks like a business woman and a mom. Her posture looks aslo determined, while relaxed. She have business to do, and no one will stop/ prevent her from doing so!

Girl power and all that.

(I'm trying, I really can't stand how her character was wrote during season 3)

Neeeeext! Let's go with one of my fav, Klaus!

I have to say, it is criminal that a) his hair are short on th right side (loved his long hair) and b) where's the skirt?! He slayed in it! Anyway.

On the left, his walking looks very mechanical, as if he was a machine, a robot (lol) (I won't do any joke about Grace). Yet, his posture his not natural (no one walks naturally torso in one way and legs in another, if that makes some sense).

His eyes are closed. Why are his eyes closed? Idk. Maybe he closing his eyes on what happened during the UA days. Maybe it’s symbolizing his absence of choice. His face is still, resigned, accepting his fate. Maybe to show he’s kinda dead inside?

Klaus had always been closed to death, more or less metaphorically speaking, as he can see ghosts (= dead people, or what remains of them).

His hair is all over the place, reminding the crazy days he had to get fucking blasted to avoid said ghosts.

Right side is colorful. He's beauty, he's grace, WHERE ARE HIS HAIR?! No but more seriously, cutting one's own hair symbolise change in many culture, and more specifically letting go of the past, embracing new beginnings, and/ or undergoing spiritual or personal transformations. I have no idea how to interpret that.

He seems to float, to ascend (plz don't kill him). He is bare foot (bare feet? idk) (fun fact: in the comics, he could only use his power when sober and with bare feet) (I won't go down the rabbit hole of barefoot symbolism and its link with death, I'm not mentally well enough to do that).

He his wearing a yellow coat with flowers (flowers, like Lila!). Yellow is associated with joy, fest, sun (and Klaus is a comic relief, a feel good sunshine character), and flower, life. (again, plz don't kill him)

What reinforce that idea of tragedy is that the umbrella he's wearing is the only one who isn't black: it's the umbrella he was holding during Reggie's funeral in s1. Plus, he's holding it with three fingers out. What's the meaning of three? Idk. Maybe it’s for Allison? Maybe it has a link with God (the Christian one)? Yk, Holy Trinity and all that. After all, doesn't Klaus met God (the little girl in the afterlife) regularly?

Does that look good or bad for Klaus? No idea.

Speaking about looking good, Ben is back, alive. I won' t go far enough to say "well", but he's alive.

On the left, he's standing straight, walking in a unnatural posture. Following only.

On the right, he is bend (idk why tho) forward (his hips are forward his shoulders, curbing like a closing bracket). His clothes are casual (and looking alike the one Viktor had been wearing during s3). His umbrella also cut his name (like Luther's). He's a Vans' boy!

(please, no mustache for him)

We can't see if he's wearing glasses or not.

Last of the Hargreeves kids (if you count Lila as one, and if not, last one of the power-gifted Hargreeves): Five.

On the left, his posture is haughty. His hands are in his pants pockets. He know what he wants, he is very sure of himself, maybe because he thinks he is better than everyone (he can think that, given what happened) (some might even say he have a bratty attitude, but I'll answer, well have you seen him during season 1???)

(my personal theory is that he is bend forward to be smaller on the left than on the right, because he appears to be)

On the right, he left the UA uniform for a more formal suit (some call it 'the grandpa / old man suit'). His hair are longer.

He's walking down like he had no shit to give anymore (he doesn't) and he's ready to throw hands (he totally his).

HOLY (S)HIT HE'S HOLDING THE UMBRELLA IN HIS RIGHT HAND! Why? Why is he te only one wearing the umbrella on the other hand? Is it to accentuate his difference with his siblings (+ Lila)? Is it to show how differently he see his time at the UA an how differenlty he uses his powers? I mean, given he didn't spend as much time in the UA as the rest of them, ofc his vision and perception of the UA is different. Even his vision of time is different.

Or he’s just left-handed.

And now, BEWARE! THE REGINALD JUMPSCARE! (or is it scare jump? Anyway, I've been working on this post for more than an hour and a half, plz be indulgent, it's late and the day had been long)

On the left, we see the whole umbrella for the firs time on these posters. Said umbrella is closed but not entirely (it could be open anytime).

Reggie is wearing a lilac/ purple suit, which is a color hard to dye (so it costed a lot and was reserved for royalty / rich ppl before industrialization and the use of chemical products for clothes dye; and we know Reggie arrived/ was on Earth on 19th c., so during the industrialization). He is “young” looking (like he was in the 60s), and seems well assorted (who tf have two jacket pockets on the same side tho?)

On the right, he's old and wearing a brown suit. Brown can symbolize the Earth, which can provide: ppl are depend on it to eat and therefore survive. In a way, he was a Earth for his children, as they were dependent on him (does that makes him a good father? Absolutely not!). (that thought, of Reggie being a Earth, is funny given he is an alien / an extraterrestrial being)

And if you put them all in order, you get :

(notice how Klaus's picture / posture melt greatly in Five's?)

And that's it! Damn, that was long. Don't hesitate to let me know what you think about all of that in the comment!

[luvingspence]

𝙗𝙤𝙮𝙛𝙧𝙞𝙚𝙣𝙙 𝙝𝙘’𝙨 𝙛𝙤𝙧 𝙨𝙥𝙚𝙣𝙘𝙚𝙧 𝙧𝙚𝙞𝙙

a/n: sorry if this isn’t ur cup of tea <333 also idc if any of this is out of character my little brain says it’s all correct!

♡ i think he’s the secret (not so secret tbh) hopeless romantic of the BAU!! he spent so long alone, none of his relationships have lasted long due to reasons beyond his control, he just longs for love and a love that’s reciprocated fully.

♡ any partner he has would be his everything, especially once it’s become serious and more long term, once that relationship is set in stone he becomes even cuter and a lil bit cheesy <3

♡ weekly date nights!!!! it’s never on a set night because you both know how the BAU can be, but at least once a week, you commit a whole day to spending it with each other

♡ spencer’s a home body so it usually is just staying in, movies, board games, reading, cuddling and talking, although, when you do go out, it’s always to a museum or something of the sort!

♡ oh and imagine those little blind book dates that you can buy at book shops :( that definitely happens at least once or twice!!

♡ constantly whispering little facts in your ears!!!

♡ he’s a guy that likes older things and things that have character! you both definitely go to flea markets, farmers markets, and vintage shops together, even if it’s just for a browse

♡ definitely insecure. he thinks you’ll leave, or that you want to but you feel bad. i imagine he eventually (mostly) gets over this fear once it’s communicated and the relationship blossoms more but he definitely requires reassurance in the early stages :(

♡ but it’s ok he just worries bc he loves you!!!

♡ he finally has someone to spend halloween with :( if you go out with the BAU and they do costumes? you’re 100% matching idc. if you’re staying in?? you probably watch a few movies, a few older ones for spencer, and then your more modern picks!!

♡ and if you celebrate it? christmas too. just wear a matching ugly grandpa christmas sweater with him please.

♡ seeing him in his glasses!! he definitely wears them more at home and you just think he’s such a cutie patootie🥰

♡ teaching him stuff about pop culture!!!! somethings about pop culture, when explained right, i think would really interest spencer! but even if it didn’t, he‘d listen to anything you tell him, like explaining the taylor swift folklore love triangle!

♡ anything you are remotely interested in, he’s learning all about it! he knows what it’s like to feel left out and doesn’t want that for you, so he wants you to be able to talk about the things you enjoy even if it isn’t something he’d typically enjoy :(

♡ also! always! compliments! you!

♡ “you look really pretty😊” “i like that dress!” “well done!!!” “i’m proud of you🙂” “you’re the prettiest ______ in the world”

♡ he’s not great with compliments, giving or receiving, at the start, especially if we’re talking baby spence, but as soon as he realises it’s not overwhelming you or anything, you’ll have to physically shut his mouth to get him to stop

♡ very blushy and easily flustered!!! especially baby spence, older spence becomes smoother and can definitely be the one making you flustered though <3

♡ when it comes to gifts, unless it’s something you have asked for or he knows that you 100% want, he gets you things that are more sentimental or hard to come buy, like a vintage vinyl, engraved jewellery, books, collections of poetry, and anything similar!

♡ affection wise, once he becomes comfortable he’s definitely okay with a kiss on the cheek in public, an arm around your waist or shoulder, a quick hug, sitting close, but everything else is absolutely private (as it should be bc some couples r nasty)

♡ his major flaw i would think is that due to his intelligence, he’s a fixer and thinks he’s right. and when he thinks he’s right, he’s very stubborn. he’d rather fix your issues than listen (until you explicitly communicate that you just want him to listen and nothing else).

♡ i feel that he definitely apologises through cheesy things like flowers! however, if it’s something very serious, poor sensitive spencie definitely cries a little and asks for a hug :(

♡ over big arguments he’s just so scared that you’ll leave him, tell him it’ll be ok and that u still love him :(

♡ all around, he’s the prettiest, nerdiest angel bf ever and i love him

[book-place]

Gift Giving

Warnings: mentions of explosions, let me know if I missed any :)

Pairings: Avengers x reader platonic

Request: Hello! I have a (small) request to make! So avengers x teen! Reader who I super shy and jumpy but super laid back and calm at the same time. They had joined the team a month ago and they've barely made any progress in getting to know the team. They (the team) have tried before but it's hard to have a conversation when only one person is talking (it also makes u super nervous and they don't wanna scare you). Anyways, it's ur first time spending Christmas with them and you wanna be nice and buy all of them presents. But there's a problem; you barely know these people and you don't want to get them anything they don't like. So you end up building up some courage to talk to Peter about what you should buy them. Tbh you just found him less intimidating. He helps you out with it eventhough he doesn't know much about them, he tried his best. And you both bond in-between the one week you spent you spent together buying the team gifts

Request by: @ladyagagaslefttoe

*not my gif*

Summary: You seek out the help of someone unexpected for advice on a certain holiday problem you were having

A/N: Welcome to day 5 of Book Places 12 Days of Christmas Celebration

Please don’t plagiarize my work, you may reblog if you like but I’m asking that you don’t steal my hard work

Eleven words, that’s it. That’s all you needed to say. It wasn’t a big deal, you just needed to suck it up and do it.

You’re an avenger for gods sake, how could you go out into the world all the time, fighting off literal threats to civilization, but you couldn’t even muster up enough courage to ask the least intimidating member of your team a question?

You had been apart of the team for about a month, and despite their various attempts, you had barely said anything to them unless absolutely necessary. Every time they tried to have a conversation with you, you would shut down, get nervous.

To your surprise, they hadn’t even seemed a little discouraged by your actions, if anything, they tried even harder to bond with you.

You supposed that was why you found it vital to get them gifts for the upcoming holiday, becuase they hadn’t given up on you.

It wasn’t like you didn’t want to talk back and get closer with them, you did, but you supposed you were just too shy. It was no fault of yours, though, it was just the way you were, and you could tell your team was beginning to realize that.

Sucking in a sharp breath, you reached your fist up and knocked on the door twice before you could lose whatever little courage you had been able to muster up.

There were a few sounds of crashing coming from within the room, causing you to flinch slightly, only for a disheveled looking Peter to swing the door open a moment later.

He was looking over his shoulder at the what looked like a science project gone wrong as he began speaking, “Sorry about that,” He breathed out, “I think I used the wrong chemicals-“

He cut himself off suddenly as his gaze finally met your nervous one, and his eyes went wide.

“Y/n.” He breathed out before immediately moving to the side and extending an arm out, “Come in, come in,” He rushed out.

After only a small amount of hesitation, you stepped past the boy and entered his room, glancing around guardedly.

“What can I do for you?” Peter asked after a moment of awkward silence, rocking back and forth on his heels as he clapped his hands together once.

You cleared your throat a little bit, trying to get out the dreaded eleven words, “What… what do you think I should get the team for Christmas?”

His mouth snapped shut, all the reasons he thought of that could be an explanation for why you were there flew out of his mind, “You- you want to get them gifts?” He softened at the realization.

Slowly, you nodded your head, cheeks flushing in embarrassment.

He smiled gently, “I can go shopping with you, if you’d like.” He offered quietly.

Your head snapped up and your eyes went wider than you thought was possible at his suggestion and you choked on air a little bit, “You- you mean it?” You asked.

Peter nodded his head as an excited grin grew on his face, “I mean, I don’t know very much about them myself, but I would love to help still.”

Your cheeks grew red with gratitude, “Thank you,” You whispered, staring at your shoes that you were shuffling back and forth.

“What’re friends for?” He asked with a grin.

“F-friends?” The word slipped past your lips in astonishment.

His smile only widened, “Of course,” He said.

For the first time since you entered the room, a small, ghost of a smile graced your lips.

-•-

The elevator door dinged, and everyone looked up, expecting Peter to step out alone. Imagine their surprise when you walked out right next to him, looking more confident then they had ever seen you.

The small smile that you wore on your face immediately disappeared and you seemed to fold back into your shell when you saw all of them staring.

“Hey, Y/n,” Clint greeted from where he was lounging on the couch.

You gave him a small nod in return, turning your uncertain eyes to Peter, who gave you a smile and nod of reassurance, putting a hand on the small of your back and leading you to stand in front of all of them.

Nat and Steve extachanged a curious glance before turning their attention back to you.

“What’s up?” Tony spoke aloud what everyone was thinking.

Peter cleared his throat, gesturing towards you, “N/n has something for you.”

Everyone’s eyebrows shot up at the nickname, but turned towards you expectantly nonetheless.

“I-um-“ You stammered and Peter reached out to squeeze your hand gently, causing you to take a deep breath to ground yourself once more, “I got you all something for Christmas.” You spoke with more confidence then they had ever heard from you.

A couple jaws dropped in shock as Thor choked on his drink before grinning, “Presents?” He asked in childlike giddiness.

You nodded holding up a shopping bag before scurrying around to each of your teammates and handing them things that you had bought specifically for each of them.

“Oh, Y/n,” Nat breathed out, looking down at fuzzy socks that were her favorite color, “Thank you.” She said genuinely.

You only nodded your head meekly before moving onto Thor, to whom you presented a box of pop tarts, and he nearly wept with joy.

On it went for each of your teammates, them being so greatful for the thought out gifts you and Peter had gone out of your way to get for them.

“I don’t think I’ll be doing this again, you guys are hard to shop for.” The teasing words slipped out of your mouth without even thinking about it.

Everybody’s jaws hit the floor.

“Did…” Tony choked out, “Was- was that a joke? Did you just make a joke?”

Your cheeks automatically flushed in embarrassment, but before you could shy away again, large grins broke out on everyone's face, “It suits you,” Steve said softly, “You should do it more often.”

Peter came up behind you and rubbed your shoulder in congratulations, “Merry Christmas.”

Everyone echoed it back to him, even you as you reached up and squeezed his hand once in appreciation, knowing that things would be different from now on because you were now comfortable around your team.

We Are Groot 🤎- @lovanitu @jvdethirlwall @ineedmorefanfics2 @sambucky8 @spidyyparker @irethepotato @femalemarvelself @mukbee @its-hell @ip747 @i-writes-things @popfishjr @mitsuki-murakami

[theragethatisdesire]

hiiiiiii 🥰💗

i would love to hear what you think eren and jean’s kinks are 🙊 plz&ty

omg tiff....i have successfully packed so u submitted at the best time. pls allow me to answer this as well as i can without drooling.

nsfw below the cut minors dni!

Eren

eren is super into overstimulation. like wants to have you a sobbing mess before he even puts it in. loves when you beg him to stop (dw u have a safe word so he knows ur fine) but you wanted this? grinding on my leg while i was trying to work? you deserve this

very much a brat tamer. doesn't like an extremely submissive partner, he wants you to have some teeth with him, push back a little. it just makes it that much more fun to break you

i cannot stress how many photos/videos this man takes of you. HUGE diy porn guy. if he holds down on his phone background, it's a picture of you with his dick down your throat. look so pretty like this, with my cum all over your face. just one more picture, okay? now smile for me

dacryphilia. 2000% sure that he's into dacryphilia. again it goes hand in hand with the overstimulation thing. he just wants to mentally break you

marking fs. like you have bruises and hickeys all over you after every time you sleep together. literally even if it's just a one night stand, eren has to let people know you were his, even if it was just for the night

breedingkinkbreedingkinkbreedingkink. that's all i'll say about that.

absolutely develops a lactation kink once you're pregnant. everything about your pregnant body fascinates him

would totally let you dom him, just once or twice to get a feel for it. it's a little entertaining to him, how you try and hold him down, but you end up bringing him close to tears and he escapes the ropes you've tied him up in, and now you're really in for it

Jean

orgasm denial. look, out of the two, eren's actually the softer dom if you look into it, because he gives you what you want to an excess.

not jean. he loves to set little rules for you (no panties when you're out at dinner, no masturbating while he's gone on a long trip unless he asks you for a video) and secretly, he loves when you fall short.

just something about bringing you right up to the edge over and over again and then listening to you cry and whine when he takes it back from you really does it for him

also a dacryphilia guy, but the opposite side of the coin from eren. he wants you crying for him, begging him to help you because you're so strung out after the fifth time he's edged you

i actually see jean being into the rougher stuff more than eren- choking, impact play, etc. he loves to push you to your limits and see how much you can take

DEGRADATION. jean strikes me as such a degradation guy. bc you're his little princess, sure, but once the bedroom door shuts, what gets him hard is how you beg for him, reduced to nothing but a needy, whiny little thing after only a few minutes of teasing. "wow, you're that desperate for me? fucking pitiful, thought i taught you better. you can have it down your throat, or not at all. what sounds better?"

also really heavy on the breeding kink, but almost in a freaky, possessive way tbh. tells you he wants to knock you up so everyone knows that he takes you home and fucks you. 10/10 recommend.

cockwarming. jean is such a cockwarming guy and i will literally never argue this point. he's all about having all of you for himself, loves to cum in you and just snuggle after, not pulling out or anything.

also uses it to deny you. will make you sit in his lap, nestled deep inside of you, and like, read him a book or tell him about your day while you whimper and whine and try to move your hips

free use. again, one of those things i don't feel like i need to elaborate on.

this made me sweat. like panting in my bed. thank u tiff u have really fucked us all up with this one!!!!!

[myrandomobsessionmix]

It’s been a minute since I posted but my god is the BL world keeping me well fed.

Starting with…

1. My Stand-In, my highest rank in the my current watch list.

Ep 10 gave me everything I needed to be there from the books and more. Thank god they made show Ming so much more endearing or is it just Up Poompat’s duality showing through?

What I love most about show Ming is that he is really laying all his cards and putting his heart on display for Joe to nitpick or ruin as he please. He is displaying his remorse for the past him so well that although one might argue he’s being pushy, I think the current maturity he has is a good work in progress.

He’s learning people, you can’t expect someone to change their whole nature like whiplash.

Also, we all are in favor of tossing Tong in the bonfire for fuel yes?

2. Only Boo!

A shocker I know. This recently ended so I’ll put this here okay? It’s a simple show, and tbh I didn’t have any expectations for this show at all.

I don’t know about you guys but this kind of shows are usually not my cup of tea, I need a mature show, angst, drama, action. Light hearted and coming of age? Urm, not on my roster? But somehow this show manages to hit a soft spot in me.

For their first rodeo in acting, SeaKeen did really well. A lot of awkwardness and it was obvious it was their first time, but somehow it fit to their storyline?

Plus their emotional actings was really good for their first time, props where it’s due 👍🏻

And ok, all the cast are endearing except for the two I’m pissed off with

*cough* Mom&Shone*cough*.

Overall though, it was a nice feel good show that hit the right marks (admittedly not all) but they wrapped it up well and I hope to see the two couples again SeaKeen & AunAshi in the future ☺️

3. Wandee Goodday

Hmm believe it or not, if you asked me 2 episodes back, I would have put this show as a tie with My Stand-In, but the recent ones have been annoying me to no end.

I still love this show, the quirkiness is there, the second couple is wholesome yet naughty,

but my god, YakDee is starting to get on my nerves.

Dee, honey, I get that you had a crush on that man for 8 years, but really how could you not immediately push him away when he tried kissing you twice? After he is blatantly showing you signs that he is using you?

This seriously made the kiss scene with Yak lose some of spark that I was hoping for.

Also, although the guy didn’t say I love you at first, he did say he was yours, so honey, you better have a big trauma or sth hanging over you to really be in that much denial.

The only saving grace right now for this show for me is that Yak finally directly confessed.

So let’s get a move on, ok people?

And that’s enough ranting for now. 🤭

[captainremmington-13]

A Lady Made of Snow

DISCLAIMER: I don’t own The Hunger Games franchise, the images above, The Ballad of Songbirds and Snakes, or any of the characters in this fic other than Bellova, her father, and Enolio. I also do not condone the beliefs or actions of Coriolanus or Bellova.

SUMMARY: Coriolanus spends the night at the Reginelle estate. While Bellova sleeps, he goes through her room and discovers many intriguing items, some of which he would have never expected to find.

⚠️Warnings⚠️: THIS IS A DARK CHAPTER. It contains manipulation, swearing, and mentions of death and weaponry.

A/n: This chapter was so hard to write tbh😭

Bellova awoke on Sunday, two days after she’d fallen unconscious. Coriolanus was at her bedside, reading a book. When he noticed she was awake, he immediately called for the nurse and brushed her hair out of her face gently.  

After the nurse checked her vitals and confirmed that she was alright, he went to summon the doctor so she could be cleared to go home. 

“I feel so guilty,” Bellova whispered, looking down at her lap sadly. 

“Why is that?” Coriolanus asked, checking the time on his watch. It was already six o’clock in the evening, and he wanted to get home in time for dinner with Tigris and Grandma’am. 

“My father has probably been worried sick about me,” she said dejectedly. “Do you know where he is right now? I would really like to see him.”

Coriolanus took a deep breath. 

“Oh, sweet girl…I hate that I have to break this to you.”

“Huh?” Bellova tilted her head in confusion.

“Your father is dead.”

.

.

.

Coriolanus did not get home in time for dinner. 

Instead, he had to escort a distraught Bellova to the car waiting in front of the hospital to take her back to her estate. Between sobs, she begged for Coriolanus to come home with her. 

“Please don’t leave me alone,” she said tearfully, clutching his arm like it was a lifeline. “I don’t trust that I won’t hurt myself. I need you by my side, Coryo.” 

And Coriolanus, being the loving boyfriend he was, agreed instantly. 

He opened the door to the back seat for Bellova before her driver could, and slid in next to her immediately after. He buckled her seatbelt for her, as she was too distracted to do it herself. 

The driver started the car without saying a word. Coriolanus could tell by his stiff posture that he was on edge, but was holding his tongue.

The ride was…tense, to say the least. Bellova was trembling, clearly trying not to cry her heart out. Tears streamed down her face, dripping down onto her blood-red dress, the same one that Bellova had worn to his office just two days ago. 

‘So much has happened since then,’ Coriolanus thought.

When the car stopped in the Reginelle estate’s driveway, Bellova didn’t move to get out. She just sat there, as if she was paralyzed by grief, which she probably was. 

Coriolanus had to say her name twice before she turned her head slightly to look at him. He unbuckled her seatbelt and took her hand, helping her out of the car. 

They wordlessly made their way inside the estate. Two Avoxes came to take their coats. The same butler that showed Coriolanus to Mr. Reginelle’s office just days ago, approached them. His eyes widened slightly when he recognized him, but did not express his surprise out loud.

“Miss Reginelle,” the butler said, his voice cracking slightly. It was clear to Coriolanus that he had been immensely stressed. “I am glad to see you awake and well. I…” he paused, looking down at his shoes. “I am so sorry about your father.”

“Thank you, Enolio,” Bellova said quietly. “I know you were fond of him too.”

Coriolanus briefly wondered how much she accurately remembered about her father.

“He was a good man,” Enolio said. “Generous, fair, and passionate. And he loved you so much, more than anything else in this world.” 

Bellova’s eyes filled with tears again, which she wiped away quickly. “I know,” she said, sniffling. “He was the best father I could ever ask for.”

Coriolanus, who was growing increasingly impatient and anxious at the discussion of a man he had killed, cleared his throat. “Show us to her quarters,” he told Enolio. “She requested that I stay the night with her.” 

Enolio looked like he wanted to protest, but didn’t. 

He turned on his heel and lead them up the grand staircase, which was made of black marble and shone in the light of the grandiose chandelier hanging above. Bellova was still shaking, and Coriolanus could tell she was struggling to walk in her heels. 

He would have carried her the rest of the way if he’d actually given a damn about her. 

Finally, Enolio pushed Bellova’s bedroom doors open. “If you need anything, Miss Reginelle, just yell for me. I’ll be close by.”

Bellova nodded, giving him a hug. “Thank you.”

The butler looked stunned at this sudden affectionate gesture, but embraced her anyway. “You’re most welcome, miss.” Giving her a small smile, he shut the door behind him, leaving her and Coriolanus alone in her incredibly spacious room. 

Coriolanus looked around, taking in his surroundings. He had never been in this section of the estate before, let alone Bellova’s quarters. 

The aesthetic of the decor fit her perfectly - or at least, the old her, perfectly. The canopy draped over her bed was made of a sheer black material, and matched the black silk covers on her mattress. One of the walls was transformed into a massive set of bookshelves, which was filled with books and other priceless trinkets. A mirror almost twice the height of the doors was placed on the wall opposite to that, the rim inlaid with silver. The floor was made of dark grey marble, and was polished to perfection.

Coriolanus’s gaze traveled back to Bellova when she said his name softly. She had begun to cry again, which annoyed him. He really hated watching people cry, it made him uncomfortable. He was tempted to ignore her, they were alone and there would be consequences for doing so. But he needed to be affectionate enough to gain her unwavering support and devotion. 

So instead of leaving the room, Coriolanus stayed with Bellova while she prepared for bed. She stopped crying, to his relief, and instead went completely silent. She retrieved a white nightgown from her walk-in closet and disappeared into her bathroom. 

When Bellova returned, her face had been scrubbed clean of makeup. Coriolanus hadn’t seen her without a full face of makeup in at least five years. Her complexion was paler than usual, her grey eyes were puffy and red from crying, and her hair was damp and devoid of its usual curl.

She looked ghostly, which made sense given that the old version of her was dead.

She walked over to her bed without saying a word, laying down on top of the sheets. She still seemed to be in a trance-like state.

Coriolanus reluctantly walked over to her and kneeled down next to the bed. “You should get under the covers, you’ll get cold if you don’t.”

No response. 

He sighed. Standing up, he slowly coaxed Bellova off of the bed so he could pull back the covers. She layed down once more, facing away from him. 

Coriolanus thought Bellova would fall asleep right away, but was proven wrong when she rolled over to look at him. “Can you hold me while I try to sleep, Coryo?”

He was beginning to regret brainwashing her instead of killing her.

Pushing aside his violent thoughts, he slid off his shoes and climbed into bed with her. She immediately wrapped her arms around him, resting her head on his chest. He hesitantly raised his hand to stroke her hair, and he felt her body relax slightly. 

“Are you tired?” he asked.

“Mhm,” she murmured, her eyelids drooping slightly. “Thank you for staying with me, Coryo. I don’t know what I’d do without you, especially now that my father is gone…” She trailed off, her voice trembling pitifully. “All I really have is you.” 

Coriolanus allowed himself to smile. If Bellova felt he was her only ally, he would never have to worry about her disobeying or abandoning him.

“I know,” he said quietly. “But I’m all you need. As long as you have me, you’ll be alright.”

She hummed in agreement, her eyes fluttering shut. And within minutes, she was asleep.

Carefully, Coriolanus lifted her sleeping form off of his chest, letting her body rest against the mattress. He climbed off of the bed, and ran a hand through his already messy hair. What was there to do now that Bellova was sleeping? 

He looked around the room once more, his eventually eyes landing on her desk. It was the messiest thing in the room by far. It held miscellaneous books of all sizes, expensive-looking notebooks, various fountain pens, and loose papers in clumsily composed stacks. 

Despite knowing her for more than a decade, she kept a solid wall between them that prevented him from seeing her true feelings. Perhaps looking through her personal items would reveal things that he could use to his advantage.

Taking a seat at her desk, he picked up the book at the top of the pile. It was called A Tale of Timeless Truth. It looked like a dark romance novel, judging by the cover that depicted two lovers standing in a cemetery. The one underneath read:

Coriolanus 

by William Shakespeare

Coriolanus stifled a laugh, as not to wake the sleeping girl. Either it was a miraculous coincidence, or the old Bellova liked him more than she let on. He was tempted to look through the book, but was more interested in the several sheets of notes lying about. 

After shuffling through them, he realized that Bellova had been quite passionate about the concept of the Hunger Games. She had written   the outlines of concepts of rules, spanning from having a different arena each year to making the tribute interviews a bigger, more publicized event. 

She also had rough sketches of strange animals, with hastily scribbled notes bellow them.

Mutations. 

She was designing her own mutts.

Dr. Gaul had likely inspired her to do so. Judging by the lack of development and detail within the notes, she hadn’t presented the designs to the doctor yet. 

They were solid ideas, ones that Dr. Gaul would be very impressed with. Coriolanus carefully folded the papers containing the rules and designs into small squares and tucked them into his pant pocket.

The other papers were filled with drawings, mostly of skulls and various flowers. The only one that stood out to him was a sketch of a rose. It was a beautiful picture, but quite macabre, as the petals appeared to be dropping in blood. 

He decided he had to destroy that paper. He didn’t want Bellova to remember she had been fascinated by anything violent. 

Coriolanus opened the drawers on the left of the desk, rifling through them as quietly as possible. There was nothing of interest in them, just a bunch of school supplies. When he opened the last drawer on the right, he spotted two black leather-bound books, decorated with elaborate patterns and inlaid with gold. One of them looked considerably older than the other. 

He picked both of them up, setting them on the desk. He blew the thin layer of dust off of the older book, and opened it. In large but surprisingly neat handwriting, the words “Bellova’s journal” covered the first page. In the bottom right corner was the date she first wrote in it. Coriolanus quickly did the math. She was seven years old at that time.

He flipped the page, which revealed the first entry:

I’m not going to begin this with “dear diary”. That’s stupid. I’ll just write out my thoughts as they appear in my head. 

Coriolanus bit back a smile. She had always been blunt, apparently.

I met a boy today. He tried to kick me off of my own tower at the playground. The audacity! He wasn’t willing even to share, so I pushed him. Daddy always says I shouldn’t be mean, but that it’s fine to put people in their place. And that’s what I did, so I don’t see it as a problem. 

I think he is in my class at school. I recognize him by his blonde curls. I never payed attention to him before today, he never really caught my eye. But now I need to watch my back. I don’t want him getting in my way again. 

Signed,

ℬℯ𝓁𝓁ℴ𝓋𝒶

Coriolanus’s throat went dry. He knew he was the little blonde boy who she’d pushed down the stairs those years ago.

He turned to a random page. This one was written two years after the first entry. 

I really hate group projects. I had to work with Clemmie and Coryo. What a nightmare. 

Clemmie is alright. We get along for the most part, and sometimes we do each other’s hair. She can be bossy sometimes, which really gets on my nerves. I want to slap her sometimes, but Miss Inola would get really mad at me if I did.

Coryo is the one who gives me trouble. He thinks he’s so special because his last name is Snow. 

But he has such pretty blue eyes. They sparkle like the finest diamonds in the light. His smile looks like sunshine itself, and his laugh is so cute. 

It’s really a shame that he’s so annoying. 

Signed,

ℬℯ𝓁𝓁ℴ𝓋𝒶 ℛ.

At that point, Coriolanus was beyond intrigued. He had no idea Bellova found him attractive when they were children. She hurled insults at him constantly, and was hell-bent on one-upping him in class. Clearly, she was good at hiding her emotions.

At least, she used to be.

Quickly flipping through the pages, he stopped when an entry written in red ink caught his eye. This was written when Bellova was fourteen. 

Today was an absolute mess, but it was fun to see the chaos unfold. 

Arachne really thought she’d win the Dean’s Award for her perfect score on her algebra test. As fun as she is to gossip with, she can be quite an entitled bitch. She threw a tantrum in front of the entire student body. I just pretended not to know her. 

Then Sejanus, the soft-hearted fool he is, stormed out of History. I think it was prompted by Demigloss calling district children “rats”. He’s such a sensitive boy, so I can understand why it got under his skin. But really, he should try to blend in more with the Capitol citizens if he wants to rid himself of the stigma surrounding his family’s past.

And lastly, Coriolanus won the Dean’s Award for academic achievement. The look on High-As-A-Kite Bottom’s face when he had off his name was priceless. I was sure I would win the award, but if anyone else truly deserves it, it’s Coryo. I hate to admit it, but his intellect far surpasses anyone else’s in the our grade. Except for mine, of course.

Coryo changed over the summer. In personality, he’s the same. He’s still competitive, smug, and somewhat reserved. But he looks different. He’s gotten taller, his voice is more mature, and he looks less…boyish. Dad says that he looks more like his father, General Snow. I’m unsure if that’s good or bad. 

I really do hate that he’s taller than me now. I suppose I’ll have to get used to wearing heels every day. When he pointed out how he can look right over my head now, giving me that signature smug grin, I wanted to throw up.

It’s almost sickening how much I want to kiss him.

ℬ. ℛ.

Coriolanus was unable to stop himself from grinning. 

Bellova really had been a lovesick schoolgirl all this time. 

He closed the old journal and opened the new one. Bellova had recorded the date she received it: her sixteenth birthday. 

He shuddered. He really didn’t want to remember her sixteenth birthday party. 

Skimming through the book quickly, he realized she’d only written in it a handful of times. She probably got busy with the advanced classes she was taking at the Academy. He inferred this because he had been taking all of the same classes, and knew how heavy the workload could be. 

The very last entry in the book was a short one. 

I want nothing more than to slit Coriolanus Snow’s neck, and watch the blood paint his pretty porcelain skin red. 

The fucking audacity of him to insult me in front of our entire class! I would’ve stabbed him with my pen if Sejanus hadn’t intervened. He’s just envious that I got a higher grade than him on our last rhetoric project. He’s fucking pathetic. 

I don’t care for him anymore. His has his arrogant ass to blame for that. It’s his loss. 

No matter how gorgeous or alluring he is, I will never allow myself to feel anything for him ever again.

I deserve better. 

Signed,

𝓑𝓮𝓵𝓵𝓸𝓿𝓪 𝓥𝓸𝓵𝓾𝓶𝓷𝓲𝓪 𝓡𝓮𝓰𝓲𝓷𝓮𝓵𝓵𝓮

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Coriolanus spent hours ripping pages out of both journals. He removed anything that depicted her old personality, but left the entries that didn’t contradict Bellova’s new reality alone. 

If anyone who didn’t know her read through the journals, they’d assume she was an average Capitol heiress.

He also went through her room and removed anything that could be used as a weapon, just in case Bellova returned to her former state. 

He had no idea that Bellova owned so many knives. By the time he had thoroughly searched every crevice of the bedroom, his coat pockets were stuffed full of various small weapons.   

He left her bookshelves alone for the most part. The only books he decided to take home with him were ones that included graphic content. He wanted Bellova to think she’d been innocent and pure.

He found a singular photo book hidden amongst lengthy tragedy novels. Inside was many photos of Bellova and her loved ones. Some were of her as an infant, others as a toddler. There were only a few of her around the age where she had formally met Coriolanus. This was unsurprising, given that the war was at its fiercest around that time. 

Later on in the book were many pictures of her and Persephone, Lysistrata, and Diana Ring, taken during their fourth-to-last year of the academy. Bellova looked much older than fourteen in them. Perhaps it was the makeup, or the cunning gleam in her eyes.

The last two pages were filled with more recent pictures. One of them was a group photo of the senior class, taken at their very last Academy orientation. Coriolanus spotted himself and Sejanus standing next to each other, grinning ear to ear. 

Quickly suppressing his guilt, he searched for Bellova in the picture, who he found quickly. Nobody else in the senior class had jet black hair and a piercingly sharp smile. 

The photo that really grabbed his attention was the very last one, because he was in it. 

Bellova wore a stunning silver dress, her makeup was more elaborate than usual, and her eyes were half-closed. Five empty glasses of posca sat on the table before her. To her left, Coriolanus had rested his head on her shoulder, and appeared to be asleep. 

A vague memory flashed across his mind. A night full of laughter, posca, and luxurious outfits. Bellova giving him a captivating smile. Feeling the alcohol bring down his barriers, momentarily forgetting all of his worries…

Coriolanus shook his head, as if doing so would push the thoughts out of his mind. He removed the photo from the album and placed it so it leaned against the books on the shelf. He hoped that Bellova would see it and assume it was a snapshot of their “loving” relationship before she had “hit her head”.

He scanned the room once more, to ensure nothing incriminating was left. The aura of the old Bellova still remained, due to the gothic decor, but anything that suggested she was a violent person had been taken by him.

Satisfied, Coriolanus walked back towards Bellova’s bed. But he stopped in his tracks when he spotted a small table near one of her windows.

On it sat a framed, pressed black rose. 

The very same blossom he had gifted her after the arena bombing. 

He would have been stunned that she preserved it if not for what he’d just read in her journals. 

Coriolanus picked up the frame. The flower was a perfect representation of the old Bellova: mysterious, macabre, and beautiful. 

Opening the back of the frame, Coriolanus retrieved the dried flower. Silently apologizing to Grandma’am, he crushed it in his palm, practically reducing it to dust. 

Discarding the remains in a trash bin, Coriolanus walked towards the bedroom door. He needed to go back to his penthouse, Tigris and Grandma’am were probably quite worried about him. Besides, he needed to dispose of the knives and find a place to hide Bellova’s other items.

He also had some work to do concerning the frame that had housed the black rose. 

When he returned in the early hours of the following morning, it would contain a freshly-pressed white blossom. 

✧ ‧˚₊ ❆ ‧ ₊ ⊹˚✧ ‧˚₊ ❆ ‧ ₊ ⊹˚✧ ‧˚₊ ❆ ‧ ₊ ⊹˚✧ ‧˚₊ ❆ ‧ ₊ ⊹˚✧ ‧˚₊

TAGLIST: @daenerysqueenofhearts, @squidscottjeans, @euphemiaamillais, @gracieroxzy, @effectwalker, @vxnilla-hxrddrugs, @mystargirl-interlude

Author’s Note: Thank you for reading! Please let me know what you think in the comments! Things will get pretty intense in the next few chapters, because Bellova isn’t one to go down without fighting first…..

Also, let me know if you want to be added to the tag list!

[adamnablelittledevil]

Reacting to The Vampire Lestat - Part V (with a bit of spoilers and maybe important quotes?)

Armand!

YAY!

Okay, what the hell is happening?

??????

Seriously, WHAT THE HELL IS HAPPENING?

Am I lost because I'm reading the Brazilian Portuguese version and maybe it's not properly translated?

*Downloads an English PDF copy* Yeah, this isn't much better and it looks like it was poorly transcript.

I'm still not sure I'm following...

Well

Whatever

I still like this anyway?

Also, I can see I'll have to read at least this book twice anyway. Maybe more or even the whole chronicles.

Because since Armand showed up I'm DEVOURING this and I can see myself maybe missing a few details... I'll need to read it slower and savor it in the future. I also assume that knowing more of the lore will give me perspective on a future read.

Armand is never boring.

Still my favorite character. :) Let's hope nothing ever ruins that. :) /hj

Not one Lesmand/Armandstat interaction is wasted tbh, I don't care if they're vibing or hating each other's guts, they're always A MOMENT™.

Let's hope nothing ever ruins that. :) /hj

They also have some pretty valid and intriguing conversations, really.

The impression I get is that they want to stay close, but deep down know it's better not to because they're so messed-up and would be even more messed-up as friends or else (and maybe it's the or at least one of the reasons why they attract each other?), but there's some frustration in that acknowledgement too. Like, doing something because you should is not the same as doing it because you want to and... Well.

I mean, there's more I could say, but this is the short version of how I generally feel about them lol.

Can't wait to see all of this on season 3.

Assad is right, I want Armand to be unhinged too. So glad we're on the same page about all thigs Armand ever and that the spirit of Armand posses Assad on a daily basis so he can play him 100% the way I imagine him. SMILING THROUGH IT ALL, CAN'T BELIEVE THIS IS MY LIFE RN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I'm also ready for more Lestat (Armand's version) and finally some Armand (Lestat's version). Let the battle begin. I wonder who will be more insufferable.

Little bit of Armand's back story. :/ I wanna put him in a bubble.

I don't really think I'll be interested in Marius, tbh.

Anyway... He's not here yet.

Gabrielle jumps from roofs like Cat Woman and Armand quickly and silently vanishes from places like Batman. I hope we keep the Gotham-esque vibes of these scenes. I think it's super cool tbh.

I also love seeing Armand talking to people telepathically? Feels so much deeper and kind of poetic, idk. Not to mention is such a cool concept. I hope the show explores more of that.

Also, when he stops blocking his thoughts and let's someone peek at his thoughts it feels intimate? And not necessarily romantic or anything like that, but just like, "hey, this is a little piece of my soul, I'm sharing it with you". Or maybe I'm too romantic and trying to find the beauty in everything lol.

But then he finally speaks out loud and it feels deeper and more meaningful as well? I don't know. Maybe I'm becoming insane.

Lestat went like 3 pages without mentioning Armand's beauty. I'm proud of him.

Nevermind, now he is mentioning it 50 times per sentence. Even more than he did before. It's like he regretted it and it's making up for lost time lmao.

Some of the words Lestat has used to describe Armand so far: beautiful, sublime, ethereal, exquisite, perfect, soft, saint, angel (there's more, but it's been so many synonyms for beautiful I can't remember... still, you get the point). Not to mention comparing him to a Caravaggio and Da Vinci paintings.

I feel like he'll run out of words to describe him pretty soon.

I guess we all feel pretty (not) normal about Armand.

This is also ruining it for me, because if someone doesn't describe me as "irresistibly beautiful" then what is even the point, really...

And it's not like they're a couple or anything, SO??? STOP!!!

They're not lovers, they're not friends, they're not enemies, they're a fourth and more sinister thing that not even them can classify, let alone my mere mortal self.

Anyway, I hope Lestat will be even more annoying describing Louis. He set the bar too high now.

I wonder if Louis appears (for a significant amount of time) on this book.

I hope so, but I don't know.

"But I was so glad it was finished. So glad that we could go on. Yet I held to the bars for a long time just looking at the distant woods, and the dim glow far beyond that the city made upon the lowering clouds. And the grief I felt was not only for the loss of him, it was for Nicki, and for Paris, and for myself." This is sad...

"So let him be your patron saint if you need it" LMFAOOOOOO.

Is Gabrielle wrong, though?

NO, SHE ISN'T!

Just have fun with your immortality instead of going on an uncertain quest to find Marius? Stop being stupid???

You'll probably just find danger or disappointment. Or both.

LISTEN TO THE VOICE OF REASON, LESTAT!

"And the sense of grief came back to me, the realization that we were really going, that it was finished with Nicolas and finished with the Children of Darkness and their leader, and I wouldn't see Paris again, or anything familiar to me, for years and years. And for all my desire to be free, I wanted to weep." So, he finally starts making a life for himself away from his abusive family. Then, he is forcefully turned into a vampire, has to live this double life with mortals, without ever being able to be completely open, honest and have real, deep relationships with them. Later, he turns Gabrielle, Nicki, meets Armand and the other of his kind, but they're all so troubled or with completely different interests... And it's clear as a day that they can't stay together anymore, he's slowly coming to the realization he's losing everything and everyone he knows and will soon be alone again... I'm (not) fine.

Also, this is so BPD-coded of him. He's had these pretty sad and traumatic moments, but he never allowed himself to feel those emotions for too long, he always found stuff to distract himself with, tried to see the "the good side" of things, embrace them, be positive instead etc, but you can only ignore it so much until it becomes such a big problem you can't possibly avoid anymore. And then the emotion hits 9483958345x harder than it would have if you processed things properly and had better coping mechanisms. Like, I get him, but OMG. Get him some vampire therapist.

Btw, Armand feels pretty BPD-coded too.

I also heard somewhere that Armand is a Scorpio?

And Lestat is another BPD Scorpio...

That would explain A LOT actually lmao.

End of "The Vampire Armand" chapter and they're parting ways.

So I guess I'll just rot and die, then?

Or...

...Armand will return in the worst possible way lmao.

I tried to find a gif of 2x05 saying "everything is fine!" to represent how I'm feeling right now, but failed, so consider it done anyway. Everything is (not) fine!

[esther-dot]

why do u think grrm smiled and said "doesn't it?" when a fan asked if lady’s death meant that sansa had ceased to be a stark?

I couldn't find an official source for this quote, it popped up on Reddit in a few places, but it looks like this is the source for it:

We've had these debates before about whether Sansa's actions truly resulted in her losing her wolf and father. And whether losing Lady symbolized her ceasing to be a true Stark. In fact, we've had this debate in front of GRRM twice. The first time was in St Louis in 2001 while at dinner. GRRM let us debate, smiling and nodding here and there. He also told us why he created Sansa in the first place, because there is always someone in a family that the others don't get along with. He was a bit coy in answering our questions but in the end he did indicate that Sansa did have responsibility for Lady's and Ned's deaths. I reported this to the board and I recall it being dismissed by some. I distinctly recall someone saying, "Well what I think he really meant to say was..." The second time we had this discussion was in Indy in 2007. There was a boarder there that didn't believe that Sansa's losing Lady symbolized her not being a Stark anymore. The person said so in front of GRRM and GRRM smiled and said, "Doesn't it?" (link)

When they say he smiled, was Martin merely smiling to be nice in a social situation? Was he laughing at them for missing the point? Was he happy that one person understood what he had written? I don't think this description really tells me enough to know what to make of Martin's intent. Presenting a question to someone is about forcing them to think, not necessarily a Statement of your own beliefs, it also can be used to deflect/provide a non-answer, and that seems to be the case here. That post doesn't tell me much at all, tbh, certainly not enough to make me question what did or did not happen in the books.

Is your attention being drawn to some culpability on Sansa's part in these passages?

They were all staring at him, but it was Sansa's look that cut. "She is of the north. She deserves better than a butcher." He left the room with his eyes burning and his daughter's wails echoing in his ears, and found the direwolf pup where they chained her. Ned sat beside her for a while. "Lady," he said, tasting the name. He had never paid much attention to the names the children had picked, but looking at her now, he knew that Sansa had chosen well. She was the smallest of the litter, the prettiest, the most gentle and trusting. She looked at him with bright golden eyes, and he ruffled her thick grey fur. Shortly, Jory brought him Ice. (AGOT, Eddard III)

So he listened, and she told it all, from the fire in the library tower to Varys and the guardsmen and Littlefinger. And when she was done, Eddard Stark sat dazed beside the table, the dagger in his hand. Bran's wolf had saved the boy's life, he thought dully. What was it that Jon had said when they found the pups in the snow? Your children were meant to have these pups, my lord. And he had killed Sansa's, and for what? Was it guilt he was feeling? Or fear? If the gods had sent these wolves, what folly had he done? (AGOT, Eddard IV)

If Martin wanted to write the blame on Sansa, he could have. Instead, he emphasizes Sansa and Lady's innocence, their trusting nature, how they were betrayed:

Sansa begs for Lady as she begs for herself, but it is futile. These words: “She was the smallest of the litter, the prettiest, the most gentle and trusting” (AGOT, Eddard III) may just as easily have been written about Sansa. Lady calmly looks up at Ned never expecting that he would kill her, and Sansa believed Joffrey’s promise to spare Ned. Both Lady and Sansa’s trust was used against them: “Once she had loved Prince Joffrey with all her heart, and admired and trusted his mother, the queen. They had repaid that love and trust with her father's head. Sansa would never make that mistake again.” (ACOK, Sansa I) Ned looked into Lady’s eyes and killed her, Joffrey looked into Sansa’s eyes and took Ned’s head. Is the point that Lady was stupid for trusting Ned, or that Ned was wrong to take an innocent life, to participate in an unjust act? That Robert was wrong for commanding it? Is the point that Sansa is stupid? Or that Joffrey and Cersei wronged her? (link)

So, I don't know what to say about what that conversation with Martin, I don't know what preceded his response or followed it. I only know what he wrote in the books, and imo, it isn't what the poster believes it to be. Instead of Martin saying Sansa is less of Stark, I think he has taken pains to associate Sansa and the North, not merely through her longing to return home, her love of the cold and snow, her scene of rebuilding Winterfell, the prophecy of her returning North and exacting justice for all of LF's crimes against her family, but also through what her she endures:

People who say that need to contrast the thrill of reading this:  "The King in the North!" "The King in the North!" "THE KING IN THE NORTH!" (AGOT, Catelyn XI) with this "The gown had long sleeves to hide the bruises on her arms. Those were Joffrey's gifts as well. When they told him that Robb had been proclaimed King in the North, his rage had been a fearsome thing, and he had sent Ser Boros to beat her." (ACOK, Sansa I) The author wrote the birth of the independent North in bruises on her skin. Martin tied Sansa to the North's fate but instead of giving her the glory, he made her pay for it. While Robb and the North fight on a battlefield, it is Sansa’s body men seek to claim in order to secure the North. (link)

I think Sansa will have great importance to House Stark and the North in the future, her freedom will align with theirs, and I'm not sure why Cersei being evil and Robert being a weak, unjust king, is Sansa's fault. And, it will always fascinate me that so many fans have read this passage:

"Surely you did not think I'd forgotten about your sweet innocent, my lord? The queen most certainly has not." "No," Ned pleaded, his voice cracking. "Varys, gods have mercy, do as you like with me, but leave my daughter out of your schemes. Sansa's no more than a child." "Rhaenys was a child too. Prince Rhaegar's daughter. A precious little thing, younger than your girls. She had a small black kitten she called Balerion, did you know? I always wondered what happened to him. Rhaenys liked to pretend he was the true Balerion, the Black Dread of old, but I imagine the Lannisters taught her the difference between a kitten and a dragon quick enough, the day they broke down her door." Varys gave a long weary sigh, the sigh of a man who carried all the sadness of the world in a sack upon his shoulders. "The High Septon once told me that as we sin, so do we suffer. If that's true, Lord Eddard, tell me … why is it always the innocents who suffer most, when you high lords play your game of thrones? Ponder it, if you would, while you wait upon the queen. And spare a thought for this as well: The next visitor who calls on you could bring you bread and cheese and the milk of the poppy for your pain … or he could bring you Sansa's head. (AGOT, Eddard XV)

only to walk away from AGOT thinking that the author wants us to blame Sansa for the things she has suffered.