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chifuyusfingers · 3 years ago

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Tokyo Revenger boy's Reaction to you hide that you’re in the Hospital from them, and they find out.

M i k e y

Mikey would be on a warpath once he found out you were in the hospital.

But when you woke up, he had worn himself out from being angry.

You would wait for him to wake up, and when he did he would be startled to see you awake.

He would ask you so many questions: “You’re awake? Are you okay? Do you hurt anywhere? Do you want me to get a doctor?” Mikey wouldn’t express anger directly at you until after you were discharged.

But he would stay with you as much as he could, and would hardly get any sleep because he was so worried about your well being (even though you weren’t going to stay for that long).

C h i f u y u

Chifuyu would be extremely worried about you. He noticed you were a little sick lately, so when he heard you were in the hospital,

it was a worst case come true. He would instantly go to the hospital and would pick a fight with anyone who tried to deny him entry to visit you. You would wake up and he would be sitting with his head in his hands.

When he noticed you it was instant fretting over you. When you assured him you were fine and that it was something minor, he would sigh and lean back in his chair.

“You think I care that this is something minor? I care that you are here in the hospital and I knew nothing about it! Tell me if you aren’t feeling well and we come here together! But please… Don’t hide this from me.” Chifuyu may get a bit emotional and would tear up.

You would have to soothe him and promise to tell him. He would stay with you in the hospital for the day you had left there, and wouldn’t sleep– both from worrying about you and to make sure you were sleeping alright.

B a j i

Baji would be sitting on the edge of the bed staring at you when you woke up.

His number one concern would be how you were feeling and if you were in any pain. You assured him that it was nothing serious, and he just didn’t seem satisfied with your answer.

“If it was nothing serious, then you could have told me about it. Even if it was something serious, I would like to know this sort of thing. Your health is important to me, so please don’t hide this from me. I think I almost passed out from the shock.”

You would apologize to Baji and said you didn’t want to bother him. “It would bother me so much more if I didn’t know until after the fact!”

You would apologize and acknowledge your mistake. Baji would visit whenever he could find time, and more often than not he would bring you a snack or two in when he came.

K a z u t o r a

Kazutora is the type who would be a bit restless when he arrived. When you woke up he would be asking the doctors what was wrong with you.

When he noticed you were awake, he would direct all of his questions to you. Any attempt to calm him down wouldn’t go well at all.

You would have to talk him down from his anger, and once he was no longer angry, all that was left was worry for you. “How could you not tell me you weren’t feeling well? Why didn’t I tell you to go to the hospital?”

You would have to assure Kazutora that things like this happened and it was your fault for not checking yourself in sooner. “That really doesn’t make me feel better… Nothing will make me feel better until you get to get out of here.”

You would have to mess with Kazutora in order for him to finally crack a smile, albeit a small one. Kazutora would keep you company for the day or two you had to stay in the hospital. He would argue with the doctors if they tried to kick him out, and if they succeeded he would simply sneak back in later.

Shinichiro

Shinichiro would be crying when you woke up. When he heard your voice, he would instantly race to your side as if it was the end of the world.

He would hug you and you would have to repeat over and over how it wasn’t as bad as it may look.

He wouldn’t say much but would try to listen to you. Shin wouldn’t have to say much to you for you to understand that he was deeply hurt, by your decision to not tell him.

He would wear that on his sleeve. Once he stopped crying, he was relieved that it was nothing major and felt silly for crying so much. You would feel bad and promise to tell him how you were feeling truthfully from now on.

He would pick you when you were discharged and wouldn’t leave your side the entire day. “I want to make sure your a hundred percent.”

M i t s u y a

Mitsuya would be silently reading when you woke up. He would glance at you and continue to read his book.

You could feel the anger steaming off of him and were too scared to say anything at first. He scared you out of your skin when he asked, “Well? Aren’t you going to say anything?” You would begin to apologize for not telling him about the hospital, and he would seem slightly confused.

“Oh… I guess I should be upset about that too…” You’d ask why he was upset if not for that reason, and he would say he was mad at himself. He should have forced you to come to the hospital the instance you were sick.

You’d insist it wasn’t his fault, but he would continue. “No, it was my mistake for not saying what I thought. So I think I’ll have to be much more forward with you from now on.” It sounded scary to you. Mitsuya essentially would come when he could, and would give you the silent treatment for the next several days to come.

S a n z u

Sanzu is much more stubborn. I feel like he would be tempted to visit you a lot, but he would be too angry to do it.

You weren’t willing to tell him that you were in the hospital to begin with, so why should he visit you? He would find himself standing outside the door, unable to enter.

In the end, he would call you from outside the door and scold you over the phone. “Next time, we can go to the hospital together… Just please don’t do this ever again.” Sanzu would believe that you didn’t trust him enough to tell him this, and you apologized if you came off that way.

You would say that you knew he would panic, and that would cause him to open the door and argue with you in person. You would laugh as he scolded you. He would stay with you and glare at you every once in a while. He would also help you when you were discharged.

K a k u c h o

Kakucho is very lost when he finds the news. He doesn’t know what to do when he sees you in the hospital bed and is just lost.

He seems out of it till he hears your voice. He comes back to life and yells your name. He asks you several questions and if you didn’t answer him right away, then he would hit the button that summons a doctor to answer them.

He would cause chaos in his own caring way, and you would have to scold him for causing disarray at a hospital.

Leading him to scold you for hiding this from both of you. Essentially, the remainder of your visit would become a bickering fest between you two with no clear resolution other than your discharge.

From then on, if you so much as sneezed in front of Kukucho he would grab his coat and drag you to the hospital to get it checked out.

I n u i

Inui was concerned about your health before the hospital, but once he heard you were in there? He was in full on mothering mode.

He would bring you food and nag at you to eat and take care of yourself the entire time. He wouldn’t touch much on the fact that you hid the truth from him, and would be so much more concerned about your well being. That said, once you were healthy, prepare for an earful from Inui.

“You can’t just wait until you’re about to pass out to go to the hospital!! That’s crazy talk!” Inui would now give you a look whenever you coughed in front of him, a look that read: “If we go through what we did last time, I swear I’ll go insane–”

I z a n a

Izana would fight a lot of people. Since he came in angry, the hospital was reluctant to let them in.

The doctors would tell him he had to do something, he wasn’t going to be happy go lucky doing it. He was fuming just sitting beside you in the hospital. You’d expect that he would direct that anger at you once you woke up, right? Wrong.

He would actually be caring at first and ask about how this happened and how you felt at the moment.

But once all of those “formalities” were out of the way, then he would direct that anger at you. “How could you hide it until you are in the hospital!? Do you know how worried sick I was to hear about this? Don’t ever do this sort of thing again!” Izana would always turn a little serious from then on when he saw you and asked how you were doing.

R a n

Ran is in full on nag mode when he finds out you are in the hospital. You don’t have to be awake for him to start nagging.

The instance he opens your hospital door and sees you asleep, he would start nagging. “I swear to GOD, you must be out of your mind if you thought you could hide this from me forever! AH! So help me when you wake up I swear I’m going to give you an earful, just you WAIT!” Essentially, Ran would hype himself up so much that when you finally did wake up, he wouldn’t have much to say. So? He would play it off as if he was angry and shove a tangerine at you.

“Here! Eat IT!” Ran would sincerely worry about you and help you at discharge, and would take you to hospital upon hearing a single cough.

R i n d o

Rindo is another one to be silently angry when you first wake up.

He would ask you how you were feeling, and you’d say you were fine. “Is this the truth, or am I going to turn around and find out you really aren’t?” You would feel guilty and apologize.

This is one of the few times that Rindo would seriously scold you. It truly hurt him when he had to find out from his brother that you had wound up in the hospital. After you were discharged, Rindo would be lost in his own thoughts. It would take a little while, but he’d be back to normal if you gave him some time.

K o k o n o i

Koko wouldn’t really know what to do. He would be angry at you and himself, worried about your well being, and concerned with how you would feel seeing him.

He had all these thoughts going through his head as he waited for you to wake up. When you did, he wanted to be tough and stand by himself.

You shouldn’t have hid it from him. But he was just so relieved that you were okay that his facade melted away almost instantly. He just so glad to see you okay and well and that it was nothing major. Koko would realize a lot from worrying about you– like how much he cares about you and your well being.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

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blackbutler-readerinsertsandjunk · 2 years ago

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I LOVED your reaper responses to a reader from the future. Could you do the same with the circus group and the Phantomhive/Trancy estate? 😍 Or just the Noah's ark group if the others are too much. Thank you in advance! 😍😍😊

of course!!!

I did something similar with the circus group over in this post, so here I did the Trancy and Phantomhive estates!

anyway MY HEART

Oooooh… wait, no, you’re not just having a go at him, are you?? He’s not some stupid little kid who believes all the fairytales, you know! That said… if you have some kind of proof… he’s thoroughly intrigued by all this. You really are from some point in the future, so, well, why did you end up here? Is he so interesting that you came to see him or what? Hm. He’s glad to let you stay at his manor while you sort things out ― if you’re able to sort it out, that is. If not, he supposes you’ll just… have to stay here with him forever! Much as he knows you probably want to get back to where you belong, he’s also very selfish in that he’ll miss you horribly if you end up leaving. He’s sick of people leaving him all alone. And, you’re better company than most of his servants, at any rate. If you do end up leaving, he takes solace in whatever small keepsake you leave him, and violently hopes you might come back to see him sometime.

Ehh… funny, isn’t that? You’re not just trying to prank the entire Phantomhive Estate, are you? To be completely honest, he doesn’t really know what to say or think. Although he guesses that anything is possible, it just seems impossible to him. That’s the kind of thing you read in stories, people coming back from the future. He also doesn’t understand why you’d come here; if it was an accident, he feels a little more sympathy. Long as you aren’t trying to hurt anyone inside the manor, you’ll be alright by him. He might even let you sneak some sweets or something from the pantry. He’ll mourn the loss when/if you finally leave, but… he’ll make sure to get a big hug before you go back to your own life.

Is he supposed to just take your word for that? He’s required proof for less outrageous claims, so you proving to him that you’re telling the truth is a must. That said… once you’ve done so, he realizes you could be useful. If you pull your weight around the household and do your best, he’ll let you stay. He does get to also pick your brain about the future, for whatever information he thinks will come in handy; refusal to talk will probably lead to him freezing you out a bit. Though, he does manage to get at least a bit close to you either way, to the point that if you leave it almost feels like something else being taken from him. Well. That’s the way life goes, unfortunately. Unable to fully help his sentimentality, if you leave, he does send you back with a little Funtom toy… shaped like your favorite animal, and with a card accompanying it: Sincerest regards from Phantomhive. ― Ciel.

Ah, yes, just what the Trancy household needs… more chaos in the form of a time traveler. Because five demons in service to a young man with a host of emotional issues isn’t quite enough of a three-ring circus. Truth be told, he actually doesn’t care much about you provided that you don’t go out of your way to antagonize him. Even then, it’s hard for him to kick up too much of a fuss, because he’s used to Alois trying to rile him up anyway. Claude is rather indifferent to you most days; he’ll serve you well enough on Alois’ orders, of course. If you don’t make a nuisance of yourself, he’ll likely find your company bearable, and he’s rather able to almost enjoy your presence. He may not show any emotions he has regarding your potential departure… only because demons like him don’t readily show vulnerability. If you end up leaving, he’s left to pick up the pieces of Alois’ anger and grief, but… that’s not to say Claude has none of his own. You really weren’t so bad, were you?

Gosh, that’s just… amazing!! He has so many questions for you! And, well, it seems all of his questions sort of come spilling out at once, so you might need to gently remind him to slow down a bit. Because of everything he’s been through himself, ending up with a power that shouldn’t exist, he doesn’t think anything is impossible. He believes you straightaway, and he’s just as bright and friendly as ever while interacting with you. He does have lots of things to ask, curiosities and whatnot, so he often invites you to come sit with him in the garden while he works. He adores your company, so he’s cheery the whole time you’re here and is quite a good friend. Unfortunately, this does mean he’ll cry buckets when/if it’s time for you to leave. He’s going to miss you!!

Well, that’s… something she hasn’t seen before, though she’s heard tales from other demons about people from the future. Someone like her can’t really claim anything to be impossible, because her very existence is out of a dark fable. She probably does her best to attend to you even before Alois orders her to, simply because she’s sure you must be lonely, having been suddenly thrown into a place you don’t belong. It’s all she can do to try and keep you happy, wanting you to feel safe in the manor as well as around her. She’s thankfully rather amiable toward you, and is willing to talk to you if you want her company. You’re kind and smart, she thinks, so your presence is wonderful for the Trancy Estate. There will probably be tears when you leave, coupled with a long embrace… the entire household will feel your absence, as will her own black heart. … Come back and visit if you can, won’t you?

Well, don’t that just beat all, it sure does! She’s never heard of such a wild story before! Though, she does suppose that given the Phantomhive servants and their master as a whole… not much is truly that far-fetched. She could certainly believe someone from the future either coming back to do research on the master, or going through an accident which landed them here. So, for as long as you’re here, far as she’s concerned, you’re welcome. If you want to tag along as she works, (maybe even help her? You don’t have to, though!!), she’d be very grateful for the company. The days always go faster when one isn’t all by themself, after all. Despite her strong will, if you do end up needing to return to your time… she’ll cry whilst giving you a final hug. She’s going to miss having you around so much; you’ve been such a joy to have round the Estate, it just won’t be the same without you!

Aah… isn’t this a curious situation? A lost little lamb, wandering into the veritable death trap that is Victorian London. Moreover, right smack dab in the middle of households like Phantomhive and Trancy is possibly the worst sector of the Victorian era you could have stumbled into. He finds it quite amusing, in the sense that this is a scenario he’s never encountered before. You’re offering him something rather unique; for that, he will easily obey whatever you wish him to, within reason. He’s tasked with looking after you just like with the rest of the estate, so that’s precisely what he does. With each minute that passes, he watches the scene play out, intrigued by the way you interact with your environment and the people around you. If only you could stay a bit longer… you’re such lovely company, after all. But he understands the concept of returning to where one truly belongs. He will, however, wish you a surprisingly heartfelt farewell if you must go back. He might even be sincere.

Hm, how strange. They’ve never heard of such a thing. Are you perhaps here for a reason? Are you interested in their master, or their coworkers, or them, or someone else? Was it an accident that brought you here? At first the three of them are indifferent to you simply because they think you aren’t interested in them. They serve you well enough because Alois and Hannah told them to, and it’s only after you really start talking to them that they realize… you’re actually a pleasant person. You’re actually sort of nice to have round the house, whether because you help to mellow Alois out or whether you look after all the estate’s residents or whether you’re just a source of stimulation. These three don’t fight over you per say… they rather prefer taking turns. Sometimes you help Thompson in the garden, sometimes you spend time with Timber in the kitchen, and sometimes you accompany Canterbury with everything else that needs done. They’re all happy to have you at their sides, which also means they get sullen if it comes time for you to head back to your own time. Although they may not show it readily, they do seek comfort in each other once you’re gone, because you added something… special to the whole manor.

#twilightlover2007 #Black Butler #Kuroshitsuji #Alois #Bard #Ciel #Claude #Finny #Hannah #Mey Rin #Sebastian #The Triplets #reaction #romantic #platonic #drama #I tagged it both romantic and platonic bc it could honestly be either lol #aNYWAY YOU DON'T SEE ME CRYIN-#one hell of a queue

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genshin-no-simp · 4 years ago

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Diluc x Reader (Smut)

Pairing: Diluc x You/Reader (Female)

6.4k words below the cut.

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You liked Kaeya, a lot. And everybody knows it, including the blue haired Captain himself. You tried not to make it so obvious but when Kaeya flirted on with you it was hard trying not to fawn over him.

Currently you were sat in Angel's Share, happily chatting away with Diluc who was behind the bar tonight. You enjoyed his company even if he was a bit rough around the edges. That's what made him so charming, you thought.

"You think Kaeya likes me too?" You asked the red head, who shrugged his shoulders in response while polishing the wine glass.

"It's hard to say but I think so?" For Diluc it was hard watching the woman he fell in love with go on about another man. But he wanted you to be happy even if it wasn't with him. Because for him seeing your smile and happy face was enough for him.

"Hmm okay. I was only wondering since he asked me what my favourite flowers were the other day." You smiled softly at the memory.

"Well it's certainly a possibility..." Diluc couldn't help but frown and feel a tad bit jealous. He wanted to know what your favourite flower was too. Just as he was about to ask, the door to the tavern opened and in came the devil himself along with a woman clung to his side, holding a bouquet of cecilias. Diluc could piece together what's happening.

"(Y/N), don't turn around." He spoke softly, despite the anger seering through him.

You looked at him nervously, "W-why?" You asked in equal softness. What was behind you.

"Ah (Y/N)!" Kaeya cheerily called out. Your heart leaped out of your chest in delight and you spun around to greet him.

"(Y/N)." Diluc wanted to reach out and stop you but it was far too late. Besides its not like he could've done anything to keep you from knowing.

You felt you heart drop at the sight. Who was this woman? Why was she clinging to his arm and why did she have a bouquet of your favourite flowers. Kaeya caught your stare and smirked a little.

"Ah this is my girlfriend?" Kaeya stated ever so casually.

It was as if your world had come crashing down on you. And though you wanted to run away and cry, you held strong and pulled your best smile.

"Aww, that's great. I'm happy for you. Despite the overwhelming saddness you felt, you were happy for him.

...who were you trying to fool? You weren't happy at all. For anyone. Especially that bitch.

You turned away from them, picking up your glass that had been empty since before this perdicament. You sighed feeling even worse, you just wanted to drown your sorrows away. You could feel your eyes burn with tears as you gazed at the bar counter. As you chewed on the inside of your lip, Diluc slid a fresh glass of wine to you.

"Thanks," you forced a smile.

"Don't worry about it." It was the least he could do to try and cheer you up.

That certainly was unexpected. Diluc looked over to the table that now occupied Kaeya and his supposed girlfriend. Who even was she? Diluc didn't regconise her, and he knows everyone in Mondstadt. From what Diluc could deduct, Kaeya was acting no different than usual. He didn't even look as if he wanted to be with that women. So just what was he up to? Regardless of what it was, Diluc knew it wasn't going to be good.

After a while you couldn't stand how happy that girl was. Laughing and giggling like that, it was like she was doing it on purpose to piss you off.

It should be you! You stood from your seat at the bar and fished into your pocket.

"It's fine, (Y/N)." Diluc shook his head. He wasn't about to take money from you, when you hadn't been ordering. He's been the one giving you drinks on the house.

"Oh no, I couldn't Diluc." You continued to rummage through your pocket.

"(Y/N), it's okay. You just head home." He gave you a gentle smile. There was something about it that made you smile back even though you didn't want to.

"I appreciate it." You said your goodbyes with Diluc and didn't stop yourself from taking one final look at Kaeya. You regret doing so when you saw him kiss her hand.

Little did you know, he had planned that. He was watching you the entire time, waiting for the right moment.

When you got into the comfort of your bed, you cried. And you cried till you had fallen asleep. When you had woken up the next morning, the headache you had was unreal but it didn't come close to the ache in your heart. Well heartbroken or not life must go on and you had work to do. It was spring now and the tailors you worked at was getting in the spring stock. You had to be there earlier than usual to help set up shop. This would be a good way to distract yourself from Kaeya.

⋅•⋅⊰∙∘☽༓☾∘∙⊱⋅•⋅

It has been two weeks since you last saw the Cavalry Captain. Safe to say you avoided all his usual spots, and just when you thought you were over him, he pops out of nowhere.

"Well look who it is. I haven't seen you in a while. If I didn't know any better, I'd think you were purposefully ignoring me." Kaeya smiled but it seemed to only darken his facial features.

"Of course not. I've just been super busy with work. I haven't even been to the tavern in a while." You giggled hoping he wouldn't question you.

While it wasn't a lie, you were busy with work, especially now in spring a lot more people came in for custom orders. But you weren't run ragged that you couldn't visit the tavern. It was just the other place you avoided like the plague considering it's where Kaeya went when he had time off. Though you were sad you couldn't see Diluc. But were you certain he understood why you didn't go. You would have to make a plan to visit him.

"Hmm," Kaeya leaned in close which made you blush, "well in that case, it looks like you're free now. How about accompanying me to the tavern tonight?" He pinched a strand of your hair between his fingers bringing it to his lips. It was unfair how much this man was affecting you right now.

"I would but I don't think you're girlfriend would like that very much." You sounded a lot more displeased then you had anticipated but Kaeya on the other hand seemed to be pleased with how upset it made you.

"Oh that little bird." Kaeya paused for a bit, "she broke up with me." Kaeya placed a hand over his heart, giving you a sad face. You own expression softening.

"Oh, I'm sorry to hear that." Maybe now is your chance.

"Well then, I'll ask again. Will you keep me company tonight?" He leaned in close to you again, you shyly looked away with a blush forming in your cheeks.

"Okay, just for a little while then." You couldn't help but give into him.

⋅•⋅⊰∙∘☽༓☾∘∙⊱⋅•⋅

You felt yourself spiral down the path that is Kaeya. Ever since his so called girlfriend had broken up with him, he had been back to your side, well more like he had you wrapped around his finger. You were like his personal little puppy.

Kaeya found it highly amusing how quick you were to run to his side at his beck and call, and that's what made it all the more sweeter to watch you break when he was tired of you.

Which was one of those times, you cried softly at the bar in Angel's Share.

Diluc had closed the tavern early upon seeing your disheveled state when you had entered the bar. Now he sat beside you with his arm wrapped around your shoulder. You rested your head on his and sniffled pathetically.

Diluc couldn't stand to see you like this. He was so heartbroken and he didn't know what to do to help. Killing Kaeya might do the trick. It would definitely devastated you but you would get over him, it would be worth it, in the long run, he wouldn't have to deal with the irritable captain himself. No Diluc wasn't going to kill Kaeya even if he was really tempted right now. As Diluc held you, he wondered what Kaeya was even thinking. Why would he play with your emotions like this? You're such a sweet and caring girl. You were also very hardworking. It wasn't fair on you to be treated this way especially when Kaeya knew you liked him. Kaeya doesn't even deserve your attention. But he doesn't know how to tell you, or if you would even accept it. And maybe he shouldn't tell you how he feels about you, it's probably best if he just stays as your emotional support. It was better that nothing, he thought. He didn't want to ruin anything.

"I'm sorry Diluc. I don't mean to go on like a baby. I just don't understand. Why am I so stupid?" You sniffled, trying your best to dry up your tears that seemed to fall endlessly.

"You're not stupid. Why would you think that?" It made Diluc upset to hear you degrade yourself like that.

"Because I've realized that Kaeya doesn't care about me at all. I'm only a plaything for when he gets bored. Yet I can't seem to stop him." You covered your face with your hands, and began to cry again.

Diluc thought about it for a while. You needed a distraction from Kaeya. He had a plan for that but he didn't know if you would agree to it. The next thing you needed was to stay away from him. But that seemed to prove very difficult for you to do. Diluc would think of something.

"I can help you." Diluc spoke softly giving you a gently squeeze.

You whimpered looking at him. You dreaded to know what you looked like. Red puffy eyes with a equally red and runny nose. The epitome of unattractive ness. Yet Diluc still thought you were as gorgeous as ever.

"You can?" You blew your nose with a tissue.

"You need a distraction, so use me." Diluc was being so soft with you. Since he was always so stoic and monotone it was weird seeing him like this but it was certainly pleasant. Somewhere it made you feel special.

"Use you?" You weren't too sure what he meant at first but then it clicked, "No Diluc, I can't." You shook your head.

He was afraid of this, not that he didn't expect it of course. He knew you weren't that type of person.

"It's fine, I want to help you." His arm around your shoulder dropped to your waist pulling you closer to his side. Your breath caught in your throat. He was pleasantly warm.

"But I can't do that to you." It wasn't right. You couldn't use Diluc in that type of way. You'd rather go to a brothel...maybe not you weren't too fond of the either of random men touching you.

Diluc lifted your chin so you were looking at him. His ruby eyes pierced through you, lighting your core on fire, "I don't want some random person touching you." He couldn't help but frown at the idea, that some strange man or woman would touch you and...no that wasn't going to happen. He wouldn't allow it.

You found it incredibly sweet but strange, why was he so adamant about it? That's when you figured it out.

"Diluc...do you have feelings for me?" You asked softly while looking up at him.

He averted his eyes from you briefly. He supposed he shouldn't be surprised that you figured it out. But now it would be even harder for him to get you to agree.

"I do." He looked back at you.

It made sense now why he was different with you. Why he was so gentle and soft with you. And that's why you couldn't accept his offer.

"And that's why I can't." Your voice as below a whisper as he brought his face closer to yours.

"You don't need to worry about my feelings. Let me help." He cupped your cheek. Your heart began to race. Was this really okay?

"I'll make you a promise. We can set boundaries later, for now just submit yourself." Diluc closed the gap between your lips and kissed you.

You didn't make any move to stop him and instead gave into him. Diluc was glad to feel you had accepted when he felt your lips press back against his. He pulled up you off your stool and onto his lap. Your legs draped either side of him as you straddled him. Your arms wrapped around his neck as you pressed yourself against Diluc's chest while his hands gripped tightly at you hips.

Diluc had to admit it was nice finally having you against him like this. So much so he was having a hard time holding himself back. But he had to for your sake. This was about you after all. And he was going to do everything he could to get you to forget about Kaeya.

Slowly he removed himself from you. You panted softly feeling a little sad at the loss. A light blush dusted your cheeks. Diluc removed himself from his seat and gently he set you onto the ground.

"I have a room above the tavern." He took your hand and lead you out of Angel's Share and up the stairs that were connected to it.

You were always curious as to what this room was but you never thought it would be a living quarters. Thought it did make sense, the Dawn Winery was a quite a distance away.

Upon entering Diluc made sure you were completely comfortable before he did anything, even if he himself was getting incredibly restless and uncomfortable in his pants.

Diluc started by gently kissing your neck while his hands lightly roamed your body. Slowly but surely he removed each layer of clothing, making sure to give every part I'd your body equal attention.

Kissing, licking, sucking, touching.

Every action drove you deeper into ecstasy. Soon you were tugging his clothes off. Your back arched as you let out a moan. You gripped the bedsheets below you tightly as you felt Diluc enter you. His large girth stretched you wide despite all the prep work he did with his mouth and fingers. You pulled him close latching yourself onto his lips. Diluc groaned softly into yours as he ravaged you. He would enjoy this type of intimacy while it lasted.

Your climax was nearing and quick, you begged to Diluc to go faster and he happily complied. Picking up the pace he thrust into you deeply. It wasn't long till you were coming all over him with a loud moan. Which in turn caused Diluc to cum inside the condom he had on. He panted softly as he slowed his thrusts to help you ride out your high.

Once your breathing returned to normal, Diluc slid out and sat at the edge of the bed. You rolled onto your side and your eyes fell on his back which was married with scars. You realized just how hard he worked to keep Mondstadt safe. You reached out with your hand to touch his back when he turned his head to look at you. Quickly you retracted your hand.

"Are you okay?" He asked concerned.

You gave a gentle smile. Honestly you felt great and it was thanks to Diluc.

"Yeah I am." You yawned soon after and giggled, "just a little sleepy."

Diluc smiled in return, "well you can sleep here if you want. I still have some things I need to take care of." He said as he started to dress himself.

You took Diluc up on his offer and after he was gone, you dressed yourself and was soon fast asleep. When you woke up the next morning, you could hear the birds chirping.

"Good morning." Diluc's voice called out from the mini kitchen. He brought over a cup of coffee for you, which you gladly accepted. Then he handed you a piece of paper.

"Morning. What's this?" You took a sip from your cup and looked at the paper now in your hand.

"I told you, we would set some boundaries right?" He sounded a bit indifferent.

"Ah right." You nodded and you both proceeded to set up your boundaries.

When the list was complete, these were the conditions:

1. No kissing.

2. No frontal sex.

3. No hickies.

4. No oral (except you receiving).

5. No aftercare.

You felt a bit guilty about the fact that Diluc didn't ask for anything in return. But he reassured you that he was fine, since this wasn't about him anyway. He was doing this for you which in the end made you feel even worse. But you accepted it.

Whenever you needed the distraction, Diluc was always there to provide for you. You did your best not to go to him too often. You were glad you were still able to talk to him and hang out around him without things being weird. And it was thanks to the boundaries that you two had set. Diluc too was happy you didn't distance yourself from him and he did his utmost best to contain his feelings for you so he wouldn't make things awkward, even if it was difficult for him. Though he supposed it wasn't all that bad, he got to have you after all. He just wished you actually his.

You had to admit Diluc had helped you a lot by doing this for you. You just wished you could do something in return for him but you didn't know what, so instead, in your time off and after work and providing Diluc wasn't gone off somewhere you would take the chance to learn about him. You found that the both of you had a few things in common. Like birds for instance. You loved birds they were so beautiful and graceful. There were also so many different types. So you were delighted to find out that Diluc had his own bird companion and you were ecstatic when he showed you his nightingale. You were like a giddy child when you were able to pet him. Diluc fell harder for you after this moment. It was becoming harder for him to keep this up.

The more time you spent with Diluc, the more you thought about the red head. He was so different to Kaeya in every way. For one he actually cared about you and your feelings, he didn't use you for his own amusement. And everytime you were near him you felt so at ease like nothing else in the world matter. This feeling that you had towards the Pyro user...was it love? But then what had you felt for Kaeya? Perhaps Kaeya was just an infatuation. You were confused, you had to think about it more.

⋅•⋅⊰∙∘☽༓☾∘∙⊱⋅•⋅

It's been about a month now since you started this arrangement with Diluc. Things had gotten a better for you. You didn't fawn over Kaeya as much as you used to. Naturally the blue headed male noticed and he was hardly amused by it. But he could still sway you every now and again. You still had no idea why he held this power over you, you guessed you still weren't fully over him. That was until both Kaeya and Diluc got sent out on a mission together.

You had no idea how Jean had managed to persuade Diluc into working for the Knights never mind with Kaeya. It made you a little nervous when they had both left Mondstadt. You knew about they're unstable relationship and honestly you were more worried about Diluc than you were with Kaeya. Diluc was more temperamental. He fell into Kaeya's bait traps everytime. You couldn't help but pray that everything would be okay and that Kaeya wouldn't annoy Diluc too much.

You were starting to get incredibly restless as the days went by. The boys still hadn't returned and it's been five days now. They should have been back by now. To keep yourself from worrying to death you kept busy at work and you tried not to bother Jean or the other Knights too much with regards to them. Jean reassured you that you would be the first person she would notify once they had returned.

During their time away it gave you time to think about both of them and what they meant to you.

When you thought about Kaeya. His looks and appearance was the first thing that caught your attention. He was exotic and unfathomably handsome. He was hot sure but his personality was a major let down. All he did was use people for his own gain and amusement, he didn't really care about anyone but himself, as long as his plan went accordingly, that's all he cared about.

When you thought about Diluc. He made you happy. Neither his looks nor personality was what came to mind first but instead it was how he made you feel. He actually made you feel appreciated and loved. Of course you knew his true feelings for you and that's one of the reasons he was so kind to you but even before you knew, he still treated you kindly and respected you. But besides that you found him adorable. He wasn't used to affection or having friends so sometimes he came across meaner than intended and his intentions were pure, it's what made him cute. And its not like he wasn't attractive. In fact he was absolutely stunning. Dressed or undressed.

You blushed deeply thinking about it. You only ever get to see him naked briefly before you were face down on the mattress. You felt your body grow hot thinking about it. Kaeya was never as thoughtful as Diluc. Diluc only thought about your feelings, he was never selfish. If anything you felt like the selfish one.

But you would change that, you understood now. Diluc was the one you loved and for a while now not Kaeya. You only hoped Diluc still felt the same.

⋅•⋅⊰∙∘☽༓☾∘∙⊱⋅•⋅

As you were walking home one evening, there was a commotion at the front gates. Curious you went over to investigate. Your heart both leapt with joy and sunk at the same time. In an instant you were over to Diluc's injured body, swating away the other Knights who dared try to help. Diluc was surprised to see you and how protective you were being of him but he was grateful, not to mention the happiness that he felt was unreal. He couldn't stop the small blush that graced his porcelain skin.

Kaeya on the other hand finally understood why it had been getting increasingly harder to charm you. He was annoyed he had to find a new plaything to train.

You walked Diluc to the room above Angel's Share upon his request. You had insisted on going to Barbara but Diluc was adamant that he didn't need to see a healer. You only sighed and instead began to patch him up instead after you convinced him to take a bath. Now with clean skin you could clearly see all the wounds on his body not only that but he definitely had at least one broken rib with how deep his side was bruised.

"Diluc, you-"

"I don't need a helaer." He cut you off. You frowned looking at him. You knew the basics of first aid but that was about it. This was out of your comfort zone.

"I'll tell you what to do." He could see the worry in your eyes. It wasn't the first time he's been injured like this or even worse. He's learnt how to deal with all sorts of injuries by himself. This thought upset you. Diluc's been alone for so long and he's been willing to let you in. You wouldn't waste it.

You gave a small nod and followed his instructions. Who knew sweet flower oil and mist flowers combined had healing properties? Not you, but you did now. You began to bandage his wounds after thoroughly rubbing the oil onto his skin. It felt nice to be able to touch him. If he wasn't so injured you would've pounced on him here and now. You made sure to be careful not to wrap the bandage too tight. Sitting back you observed his body more, just like his back, his chest and arms were also littered with scars. Your heart swelled thinking again about how much he does to protect his home and it's people.

"What's wrong?" He asked. You didn't realize you had spaced out while staring at his chest. Lifting your gaze to his you gave a small shake of your head.

"Oh it's nothing." You smiled.

"Are you sure? Do you need-"

It was you're turn to cut him off, "You're in no state doe that. Besides that's not it. I was just thinking." You said packing away the access oil and bandages.

Diluc tilted his head to the side. You giggled softly, "don't worry Diluc. I was only thinking about you." You winked.

Diluc blushed deeply and to distract himself he began putting his shirt back on. Once he was a little calmer he asked you why.

"Because you need rest, you work too hard." You grabbed his coat from him, and he gaped in shock.

"Well if you want this you'll have to get in here." You pulled the duvet back revealing the tempting bedsheet underneath.

"Are you trying to blackmail me with my coat?" He asked not even believing it when he said it out loud.

You gave a soft giggled, "I mean, if it's working than yes." Diluc couldn't help but chucked himself.

"Alright then." Diluc smiled softly.

He decided to give you this one and get into bed. Besides he would need to recover his strength quickly in case you needed him.

⋅•⋅⊰∙∘☽༓☾∘∙⊱⋅•⋅

As soon as Diluc had recovered you had visited him at the Dawn Winery. Where you sat straddling his lap, your hand in his hair as you ravaged his lips.

Diluc was surprised when you had unexpectedly arrived at the manor and whisked him away to his office. You would've taken him to his bedroom but that was too far unlike his office, where you had him seated on the couch. It was unlike you to ever initiate like this, Diluc was unsure what to think of it, but he would be lying if he wasn't enjoying it. The feeling of your lips against his as your tongues fought for dominance, that he gladly gave to you once he felt the fervour and intensity you held. And the feeling of your fingers tangled in his disheveled fiery hair you light tugs every now and again was driving him insane.

But what did this mean? Perhaps it was best not to know, in case he recieved an answer he didnt want to hear. But he didn't want to do this anymore. Especially if this is what it was coming to. But he would soon find his fears were for nothing.

Removing your lips from his a string of saliva connected you to him.

"Diluc?" You whispered softly, removing your hand from his hair you cupped his cheek gently, rubbing your thumb over his plump moist lips.

Diluc shivered under your touch as his lips parted ever so slightly. Experimentally you slipped your thumb inside his mouth. Diluc let out a soft moan as he sucked on your finger. A satisfied hum escaped your throat.

"Diluc?" You asked again, removing your hand from his face.

His eyes meet yours in silent question. His chest heaved with heavy breaths.

"Do...do you still love me?" You couldn't stop the shake in your voice.

Without hesitation he spoke, "of course I do." His hands gripped your hips tightly as he pulled you closer to his chest. You bit your lip feeling his erection through his pants.

"Thank goodness," you pressed yourself against him, closing any distance that was between you two, "I love you too."

Without giving him any time to really process you smashed your lips against his once again.

You loved him? Diluc never thought he would hear those words come from your mouth, as sad as that sounded. He couldn't help but push you away. which left you quite upset.

"Diluc?" Your heart sunk. Did he not actually love you?

Diluc saw the hurt in your eyes and immediately regret pushing you away but he needed to be clear about this.

"Sorry, I just want to be sure." He felt guilty about it but it had to be done.

Now you felt selfish, being so greedy and not taking Diluc's feelings into consideration. So you cupped his cheeks resting your forehead against his.

"Sorry I was being a bit selfish wasn't I?" You smiled softly, "but it's true, I love you. And it's not like how I was with Kaeya, he was an infatuation I realized. But you Diluc, I want to be with you. I don't want to be apart from you."

Diluc could hear and see the love and affection you had for him, he didn't know why he had doubted you, but he just wanted to be on the same page.

"I'm sorry it took so long, it must've been tough for you. But I promise, this is a two way street now," your eyes shone mischievously. Diluc was both nervous and excited at the same time.

"Diluc~" you cooed into his ear.

A shiver went down Diluc's spine as he gave a little hmm, that more came out as a moan than a question.

"You've done so much for me." You licked the shell of his ear. You felt his grip tighten on your hips holding you desperately close.

"Let me," you gave his ear a little kitten lick, "show you my appreciation." You lightly nibbled and sucked on his ear while grinding down against him.

Diluc gasped, his hips instinctively bucking up into you. You let out a little "ah" into his ear before working down his jaw with soft butterfly kisses. You made quick work of his dress shirt. You were grateful he wasn't wearing his coat or his vest. Dragging your fingers down his chest, you attacked his neck with your mouth, you began leaving dark hickies on his pale skin.

Diluc's hands moved on their own, one travelling up your shirt, his bare hand caressed your waist, squeezing and pulling you closer, while the other had slipped into your shorts to massage your butt cheek.

You hummed in delight, your hands dropping further down his abdomen to his black pants. You teasingly tugged on them, eliciting a grunt from the male beneath you.

You gave him one final kiss on the lips before lowering yourself off his lap and onto your knees, pulling his pants down with you. Diluc watched impatiently as you slide your hands up his thighs, you could feel how the muscles on his thighs tensed under your touch. You giggled softly, it was cute watching him squirm for your touch. You reached up further palming him through his boxers. Diluc bit his lip, it was so unbearably tight but it felt good at the same time.

"(Y/N)." He wanted you and he was getting a little desperate.

"Just be a little more patient love~" you cooed softly giving him a few strokes. Diluc grunted tilting his head back. That's when you took the opportunity to pull his boxers down, freeing his hard leaking member.

Your eyes widened at the sight, you couldn't believe how he could fit inside you. But you weren't going to complain. Spreading his legs slightly so you could sit between them, you leaned down licking his tip. Diluc shuddered picking his head back up to gaze down at you just as you took his tip into your mouth.

Diluc's hand found purchase in your hair, the feeling of your hot mouth around him caused him to push you further down. He wanted to feel more of you. You moaned around him, your mouth stretching wide to try and accommodate his size. You gave soft sucks while pressing your tongue against a vein on the underside of his member. Diluc bucked into your mouth, pushing deeper inside. You winched softly due to the light burning sensation in your mouth. It would take some time before you got used to this, but you weren't going to back out so soon.

Diluc moaned giving your cheek a gentle rub. As if it apologize for the pain. Your eyes fluttered closed at the simple gesture. Diluc could feel how you relaxed your mouth, deciding to be a little selfish he thrust into your mouth again. You choked on a moan as your eyes opened to gaze up at him. His eyes meet yours with a burning passion that set your core on fire. You couldn't help but moan at the sight. Each moan you made sent vibrations down Diluc's throbbing member. He began to thrust lightly into your mouth, he didn't want to hurt you after all. But you wouldn't mind if he was a little rougher with you. So you reached up with your hand, sliding it from his thigh to his balls, and massaged them.

"Shit." Diluc swore as he furrowed his eyebrows, his hips jotted upwards roughly into your mouth, his tip brushing the back of your throat. You did you best not to gag, and moaned around him. Your saliva dripped out the corners of your mouth and down the sides of Diluc's cock.

Diluc didn't know how much longer he could last like this. You truly were a sight to behold, watching you struggle to take his cock but yet do so well for your first time with him.

"B-baby, wait," he called out as he slowed his thrusts. You took his cock out your mouth with a wet pop. You licked your lips panting softly through lidded eyes.

You stood up and slipped free from your clothing, letting it pool on the ground. Once you were bare in front of him Diluc wasted on time in pulling you back onto his lap. Diluc could feel how wet you were for him, when his cock slipped between your folds.

"Look how excited you are." He cooed, pressing his tip against your needy hole.

"Oh Luc please," you firmly gripped his shoulders as you pushed yourself down onto him.

Diluc grinned as his nails dug onto the flesh of your hips.

"You beg me, yet proceed to take matters into your own hands." He certainly was not complaining. In fact it thoroughly turned him on, he was loving this side of you.

Instead of giving him a proper reply you mewled out his name, and continued to sink onto his cock. You never got used to this feeling. How he stretched you out and filled you so good. Your walls tightened around Diluc as he helped you up and back down onto him. Despite his previous sessions with you, this felt so different and so good. It was intimate.

Bringing your lips to his slightly parted ones, you stuck your tongue inside and began bouncing up and down on him. Diluc moaned into your mouth but this time dominance was his. He pushed your tongue back into your mouth as he claimed your hot cavern for himself. Your hands fell from his shoulders and to his chest, your fingers grazing over his nipples. Diluc groaned feeling you clench around him again. Breaking the kiss he pushed you down onto the couch as he spread your legs wide. You wanted to protest but this new position allowed Diluc to hit that special spot inside you. All previous thoughts disappeared as Diluc rammed into. You screamed in pleasure as he abused your g-spot that he's learnt so well.

Between your moans was the wet slapping sound as Diluc thrust into you. Your slick coated his length and seeped out of your pussy, it made it so easy for Diluc to ram into you. Diluc leaned down to attack your open neck, your arms instantly wrapped around his neck pulling him closer. Just as you did, Diluc left many love bites on your skin, from your neck to your chest.

You could feel the familiar knot bubble inside you, and Diluc could feel it. He could feel how your body trembled and your walls convulse around him, sucking him in deeper. He panted and groaned gripping your hips he lifted them up. Throwing your head back you came heavily on Diluc's cock. His grip tightened and he came inside you. You let out one final moan as you felt him fill you up. It was hot.

Diluc waited a few moments before pulling out of you and gently placing your hips back down. You let out soft gasps as you came down from your high. You gazed up at Diluc and smiled reaching out for him. The red head returned your smile and leaned down, letting you pull him down onto your chest as you held him close.

Diluc muzzled into your breasts letting out a content sigh. That's when he realized he didn't use protection and started freaking out. He pulled away from you in a panic, the abruptness scared you as you held your arms to your chest.

"What's wrong?" You asked concerned.

"I didn't use protection." He wasn't against having children, he just didn't want to have any too soon.

But you only sighed in relief waving him off, "it's fine, I started taking birth control, a while ago."

Diluc looked at you with a raised eyebrow, "define, a while ago."

"Right after you returned from your mission." You sat up to face him properly.

Diluc found himself smirking, "oh so you planned this?"

You couldn't help but blush and look away from him without answer. Which resulted in a chuckle from the Winery owner.

You were gently pushed back down onto the couch, "I mean I'm not going to complain, I get to fill you up until I'm satisfied."

You shuddered in delight and pulled him closer, "I'll take everything you give me."

Diluc grinned, "good girl." He praised sliding back into your still wet hole.

#genshin impact #genshin impact smut #genshin x reader #diluc ragnvindr #diluc x reader #x reader #smut #kaeya alberich #kaeya

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bratz-kitten · 4 years ago

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attack on titan characters - birth chart analysis 🌙

Here is my take on the big 6 of Levi, Eren, Armin and Mikasa of attack on titan/shingeki no kyojin! I kept their sun signs since we know the day and month of their birthday and since I think they’re absolutely perfect. If you want me to do my take on the others (like Jean, Historia, Erwin, Hanji, Connie, Sasha, Reiner, etc) please let me know! (spoiler warning!)

Levi Ackerman

sun in capricorn - levi mf ackerman is fuelled by three things and three things only: LOYALTY, a strong moral code and power. he is seen by most people as a heartless, unemotional bastard but is canonically the most emotional character - he shows love through very indirect ways and he’s the peak of capricorn in the sense that he represses his emotions – he smiled literally ONE time in four seasons, and didn’t once shed a tear. he’s very hard to read. has a lot of respect for his superiors and follows the orders of only those he’s loyal to. he’s driven by his moral codes in the sense that the protection of humanity is his prime motive for fighting titans. like a true capricorn, is the master of his field of work and cares the most about being a survey corp member. please protect this tragic baby.

virgo rising - two words: CLEAN FREAK. this man has a strong need to be presentable at all times and hates getting blood on his hands for the single fact that he needs himself and his environment to be clean. his obsession with being clean is very much due to his childhood trauma and how he lived in in poor conditions in the underground. he has many quirks that correlate with this: the way he holds his cup, the carvat he uses bc of his mother, and the way he always cuts his own hair because that’s the way his mother used to do it. intimidating and demands respect. DRY HUMOUR.

moon in scorpio - i think he has many similarities with mikasa, especially in the moon and venus. introverted and hates people but will go to the ends of the earth to protect the ones he loves and respects. represses emotions and internalizes his hatred until he has a mental breakdown - which happens in the form of extreme violence. VERY sensitive and emotional even if he doesn’t show it. he’s very intuitive and often acts based on gut; he’s secretive and vindictive. very wise and great at giving advice. doesn’t let himself get manipulated and uses shitty situations to his advantage (like with the reeves company). trust is the most important thing to him.

mercury in aquarius - levi is extremely logical, and hates when others involve their feelings in the making of decisions. his decisions are always backed up by strong arguments and others often see him as cold and detached. i saw someone mention something extremely interesting about aquarius mercury’s/people with their mercuries in the 11th house: despite not being very sociable, others are drawn to them for friendships – and often they’re the introverts who get “adopted” by extroverts. this is 100% levi’s case, hanji and erwin practically adopted him. being very vulgar with his words and having a distinctive sense of humour, he’s very humanitarian and is actually really talkative but only when he’s very comfortable around someone. blunt, always tells it like it is – like when he tells eren he can’t know what the right choice really is and he needs to choose it himself. teases and insults his friends as a form of affection.

mars in scorpio - levi’s a fighter, a survivor. he knows what it’s like to come from nothing and have to build himself up. very confrontational. reclaims his power by exerting intimidation and mastering violence. others fear doing as much as make a joke at his expense. understands other’s motivations and characters very easily. he’s very intuitive. very serious due to his need for having an intense and demanding presence, for being respected and valued. he’s the one who everyone sighs of relief when things go to shit and he appears because you know he’s the strongest and most dependable person.

venus in capricorn - good luck getting this motherfucker to open up. his trust is very hard to gain but is necessary for working with him – he places his full trust in his comrades and demands the same from them. very work-oriented and takes relationships very serious; it’s really telling that he cares little for romance because capricorn venuses are the ones to date to marry, and will only devote themselves to someone once they believe they’ve met the one. they either want a more powerful and mature partner or they exude that energy (levi is the latter). slightly parental – we see this in the way that levi is pretty much the dad figure. it’s called squad levi for a reason, after all. very responsible. takes care of loved ones and often uses tough love as a form of discipline.

Eren Jaeger - im not even kidding with this one, he has extreme aries energy

sun in aries - eren feels the need to be very independent and he hates whenever he has to depend on mikasa and others, wanting to be strong enough to reverse the roles. he’s very self-confident, bold and direct. very impulsive, he’s quick to anger but is also very quick to forget - especially seen with his arguments with jean, fighting him is basically a love language at this point. aries suns are very fast thinkers and their strong energy may come off as intimidating. they have great intentions but that often becomes muddled with their impulsivity and the fact that they don’t think ideas through. eren is unabashedly himself and fights relentlessly for what he wants. his aries energy also makes him extremely motivated! he believes in the impossible and will make it happen no matter what.

aries rising – aries risings are the trailblazers. they ooze intensity. eren has very much a baby face and, due to his impulsivity and childish charm, people tend to baby him a lot – in the sense that he’s this kid surrounded by adults who needs supervision at all times or he’ll get into deep shit. aries risings are also marked by their extreme need for action, they’re the ones to do now and apologize later instead of asking for permission to do something in the first place. he is guided by his passion and is a natural leader who inspires everyone to fight alongside him. aries risings have a lot of energy which they need to express in a physical way, making them be prone to be very athletic and lead very active lives. he’s also extremely competitive and is driven by the force of becoming stronger than mikasa, and often feels angry when he realizes how stronger than him other people can be. at the same time, this pressure to be better is put solely on himself. he’s a dumbass with a good-heart and pure intentions.

moon in sagittarius – all this motherfucker talks about is freedom and seeing the world past the walls. he craves adventure and is extremely optimistic. but even if a sagittarius moon needs their freedom, they are still absolutely ride-or-dies and once they’ve commited to something, NOTHING or NO ONE can stop their determination. these are also the people to try their best to always appear cheerful and full of determination to hide their sad façade – like when he was nearly vomiting when talking about the titans to the other recruits when they began the training in the military but still forced himself to say that the titans aren’t scary at all and that they aren’t a big deal; he naturally inspires others and fills them with courage. but the way they put on this strong and brave façade leads to a strong emotional turmoil, violent urges and a sudden hostility to others. they are filled with surpressed anger that can lead them through very destructive paths – and the happy-go-lucky child might just lose her hope. we see this in eren in the most heartbreaking way.

mercury in aries – LOUD!!! eren speaks what’s on his mind with NO hesitation whatsover. he’s very quick to defend his friends and points of view, and speaks openly about his passions and dreams. he’s very assertive and tenacious. short attention span and not afraid to give a different opinion from someone else’s. very passionate about what he argues about. very expressive and when an aries mercury disagrees with you, you’ll know it immediately by their facial expression. confident and thrives on inspiring others. remember him being mad when it was discovered the possibility of all titans being humans because now he didn’t know who the enemy is and he NEEDS to hate someone and blame them in order to keep going? ARIES MERCURY ENERGY!!

mars in aries - people look to mars in aries to lead them. they’re full of energy and dynamic, and very athletic - eren exceeds at hand-to-hand combat and, in the other subjects where he’s not so good, his determination makes him push forward and become better. VERY hot-headed and confrontational, which is both the source of all their problems and their strength - they are not afraid of going after what they want and are willing to go through any obstacle to do so, and they’re also not afraid of upsetting other people in order to do so. eren is courageous, loves to take initiative and is very enthusiastic - something that is very contageous. competitive and hates compromise, he likes getting his own way. aries mars are also very individualistic and can have a huge ego.

venus in pisces - i know this is going to confuse a lot of people - like, how does he have so much aries energy, how is he so intense yet has one of the softest venus placements? i deeply believe he’s a pisces venus, and here’s why. his friends are EVERYTHING to him. pisces venus’ love very deeply and are very dependent on their loved ones, and eren is extremely protective of his loved ones and is willing to do anything to protect them. pisces venus’ are very vengeful, too, something that people seem to brush off about them - they might not do anything when you mess with them but as soon as you mess with their friends it’s game over. i also get a lot of “there was no other way, the word had to be fixed” vibes from this placement? like, this placement gives me the energy of someone willing to commit awful crimes under the excuse of it being for the greater good, which is something he dramatically experiences as he grows older and witnesses the cruelty of the world.

Armin Arlert

sun in scorpio - armin very resourceful!! he easily adapts to the circunstances he’s in and works his way around it. very intelligent and with great memory. extremely manipulative, cunning and perceptive. scorpios are known for their capability to be great investigators due to their natural curiosity, and armin has this deep need to see the world outside of the walls and he studies all there is to know about it with great passion. determined to succeed.

cancer rising - armin just wants to achieve his dream and it’s so soft. cancer risings are very receptive of other’s emotions and incredibly sensitive, but it’s difficult for them to open up to others. his appearance is very soft and delicate. loves to help others and has a naturally warm presence that makes others feel comfortable in his presence. give off a very grounded and stable energy, but this is often because they try to hide their most intense emotions and don’t know how to deal with them/don’t want to bother others by opening up about it.

moon in pisces - one word: EMPATHY!!! very compassionate. tendency to become a martyr and be very self-sacrificial. VERY imaginative, he is the strategist, after all. can feel others emotions and read them very easily. avoids confrontation but feels a strong need to take the weight off of others’ shoulders and to solve all their problems. very loving and giving, in tune with his emotions and emotionally intelligent. on the other side, this caring side of him can make him see other people through rose-colored glasses, and he is prone to believing in the best in people and giving them the benefit of the doubt. but when they’ve proven their true nature to him, he’ll see them for what they are and will no longer defend them, even if still feeling remorse. notice how he’s always like “this had to be done, we had no other choice” to justify his actions.

mercury in scorpio - bro armin’s eyes are so intense. when he gets on his manipulative bullshit it’s IMPOSSIBLE to look away from his gaze. he practically communicates through the eyes. armin is very sharp and his innocent appearance has everyone still thinking of him as a sweet angel as if he isn’t a whole war criminal. he easily psychoanalizes others to know what they want and uses it to his advantage, like how he used berthold’s love for annie to manipulate him to let eren go after him and reiner kidnapped him. scorpio mercuries be knowing shit, they be knowing everyone’s secrets and others usually confide in them as if they’re their therapists.

mars in pisces - mars in pisces makes a person avoid physical confrontation at all costs. notice how armin’s first response to everyone wanting to kill reiner and bertold/the marleyans was “please let’s just talk about this first”? he hates violence and deems it not worthy most times. he is very physically weak and aware of his limitations, unlike eren and levi, whose first instinct is to use violence in order to get what they want. no, armin has developed a much more subtle and effective way to get what he wants without using violence: emotional manipulation. he is the KING of appearing innocent and naïve and having people feel bad for him and want to baby him and protect him, and due to his extremely intuitive nature, he knows EXACTLY what to say to someone to get under their skin. he twists his words and emotions to get what he needs out of people and it’s both incredible and dangerous. also, very self-sacrifical and his goals are based on his emotions.

venus in cancer - he loves so much and it’s so beautiful and heartbreaking. he gives everything to the ones he loves and thrives off of being helpful and keeping everyone safe. reads a lot into the behaviour of the people he loves. very emotionally intelligent, wants stability and to maintain peace and may bend over backwords to achieve that. needs to feel understood and has a soft spot for troubled people, those who are more demanding and assertive (eren and mikasa), people he can take care of and who can take care of him in return. very affectionate and communicative. warm presence, you can pretty much feel the love radiating out of him.

Mikasa Ackerman

sun in aquarius - if you get past the emotional walls of an aquarius that has them appearing detached and distant because they’d rather use intelligence than seem emotional, you’ll be met with an incredibly soft, loving and caring person. an aquarius strength is their ability to be very unique, individualistic and humanitarian individuals - they truly march to the beat of their own drum. mikasa possesses a great deal of determination and isn’t afraid of being rebellious, especially when her loved ones are in danger.

capricorn rising - people with capricorn rising had to learn to be very independent from a very young age. mikasa is very intimidating but she has a very doll-like beauty, common to many capricorn risings. these people have had to deal with a lot ever since childhood, but they are fighters and their determination has them being able to survive even unsurmountable odds stacked up against them. capricorn risings tend to be serious and disciplined, and with a melancholic aura to them – which mikasa perfectly embodies. but the fact that these people have cancer in their descendant makes them strongly emotionally attached to their loved ones.

aquarius moon - even under the most stressful and dangerous situations, mikasa always remains in control of her emotions. she thrives in those situations, it’s the adrenaline of the moment that has her being so good at controlling her emotions until it’s safe to be anything but racional again. aquarius moons are feel very misunderstood and tend to racionalize their emotions a lot. however, it’s only due to their fear of vulnerability that they build this emotional walls, because they experience very intense emotions. i always think about that survey corp member saying “what did you have to go through for you to be like this?” when she was perfectly stable in a life-or-death situation.

mercury in capricorn - mikasa is incredibly action-oriented and she speaks in a structured but confident way. although she’s on the quieter side and is reserved, she’s able to inspire everyone when all hope seems lost, and she’s taken up eren’s words of “if we don’t fight, we can’t win” and uses it constantly in order to keep going. she’s very hard to read due to her usually expressionless face, giving her a mysterious aura. she’s very ambitious, persuasive and determined.

mars in capricorn - when people say that mars in capricorn people are the scariest when they’re angry, they’re not wrong. they act so calm and collected until suddenly they’re fixing you with a death glare and you’re rethinking all your life choices up until this point. mikasa might be extremely rational and calm, but as soon as someone threatens the ones she loves, she’ll stop at nothing to eliminate the threat. it’s like she fears nothing but ever being unable not to save them. she’s very responsible and reliable, with a lot of physical strength and stamina. very PROTECTIVE, grounded and GIVING

venus in virgo - this is one of the things that makes mikasa so similar to levi, the way they love. this bitch is LOYAL to her very core. she knows very well where her loyalties are - eren and armin - and is ready to kill all her close friends and superiors in order to protect them. she threatened to kill historia if she got in the way of getting eren back home safely, jumped levi on sight when he wanted to save erwin instead of armin, and got pissed at connie for doubting eren’s intentions after the whole marleyan ordeal. acts of service are very much her love language - she constantly picks up eren’s and armin’s stuff and carries it herself or orders them to rest while she works. it’s very hard to gain her trust and loyalty but once you do it’s forever, she’s very selective about the people she cares for. she’s possessive, too - giving historia the coldest death glare in the world when she saw her with eren. i’ve also noticed that venus in virgo are very difficult to declare their emotions!! they’ll just wait for the person to notice their indirect acts of affection. very attentive to the needs and details of loved ones.

#attack on titan #shingeki no kyoujin #levi #levi ackerman #eren #eren jaeger #eren yeager #mikasa #mikasa ackerman #armin #armin arlert #birth chart analysis #astrology

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yesimwriting · 3 years ago

Text

playing vices

“A/n a blurb bc ive been working on my novel and ive missed writing for Kirigan :))

I am a fool that has played into her vices enough to make them addictions. That must have been Kirigan's plan. He knows that I don't agree with his methods. He is also much too aware of the fact that I am beyond attached to him. He plays into that fact often, lulling me to him whenever he feels that my conscious is in danger of driving a wedge between us.

Which is why I have become accustomed to falling asleep while running my fingers along his skin as he whispers things much sweeter than anything he would say while fully awake.

But now it's late and he's not here. I sit up, kicking the comforter off of me slightly. It seems Aleksander has been more and more absent these days. When he's not with me, the odds that he's doing something that hurts people are high. His absence is also starting to make me feel like he's losing interest in me. It would make sense considering the fact that he looked twice at me in any capacity has never seemed logical.

Maybe that's why we've never indicated commitment to each other. I don't know what commitment would be with him. He seems to grand to be considered a 'boyfriend', but there's something more than friendly about how he holds onto me. I've never cared for labels until I started feeling displaced.

"You're still awake."

I press my lips together, trying to seem a little calmer. "Couldn't sleep."

"Troubling thoughts?" The question is more weighted than it should be. Everything with him is.

“Has anyone ever called you dramatic?”

His lips quirk upwards, hinting at a smile. Warmth pools in my stomach, the way it always does when he lets me see the slight glimmer of light that’s still in him. Sometimes I think he only shows me this softness when he feels that I may pull away. It may be rooted in manipulative intent, but I know that it’s real.

“Only you would have the gall,” he says, voice low yet not dark.

Kirigan’s easiness coaxes a smile from my lips. A small one, but I can feel the way the crack in my tension feeds his confidence. He takes pride in slipping past the walls I only try to create when cautious or irritated. Today I’m both but I need to pretend like I’m neither. The more resistance he senses, the more forward and effective his advances become.

I keep my expression neutral. I’m sure Alina could get away with calling him that. I wish she was more unlikable. It would be easier to hide my irritation if I could blame that displaced feeling in my chest on two people. But of course Alina is wonderful, beautiful, and his equal.

Whatever. It’s not like we’re really anything. Every time I see him I wait for his betrayal. There’s nothing worth using me for, and somehow that makes me feel worse. He should have never looked at me twice let alone encourage whatever strange relationship we’ve created.

My silence seems to displease him because he approaches my bedside easily in quick yet patient strides. Now that he’s close enough to touch I feel some of the ice I managed to solidify melt.

Kirigan lifts a hand and places it on my knee easily. I stiffen instinctually, he runs his thumb over my skin to fight my resistance. “Who’s upset you?”

I breathe, forcing myself to ease. “No one has.” I don’t have to meet his gaze to know he doesn’t believe me. That’s the core source of our attachment, we can read each other with less than a look. “I’m just getting a headache,” not a full lie, “I’ll feel better after some sleep.” He squeezes my knee slightly, a soft way of asking me for more. “I don’t think I’ll be good company tonight.”

His hand leaves my knee, fingertips barely grazing my thigh as he moves his hand to hold beneath my chin. I still as he turns my head so that I have no choice but to meet his gaze. “You don’t need to be good company when what I want is your presence.”

I press my lips together to avoid melting into the promising pools of warmth that make up his irises. He spent all day with Alina, took Zoya’s side in an argument I had with her earlier this week, and now he comes to me late at night. He seems to only want to acknowledge me when we’re alone, and it’s not like I want more than that. I just don’t know how long my heart will be able to teeter the line between nothing and something. I’m a fool for having let it go on this long.

The only problem is that his steady stare is chasing away all of my rationality. “I’m sure you’ll be able to find someone more in the mood to offer their presence.”

My curtness leaves something behind his expression dull, the hint of a smile that was growing on him has now vanished. I am met with a stoic disposition I have never had directed at me.

“They’re not you,” he counters, voice edged by something I don’t understand.

That’s the point. They’re not me--I’m average. I can’t offer power and my relationship experience is basic at best. I don’t want to have this argument, not when I’m basically fighting for him to let me go when that’s not what I want.

I’m making it easier. If it hurts this much when I was only on the cusp of something, imagine the pain I’l feel if I let it continue. I turn my head away so that he’s no longer holding my chin. “Not a bad thing.”

“To me it is.” He doesn’t hesitate, my chest swells. His thumb brushes against my cheek, soft and comforting. “I’m tired,” he says this like it’s a confession. His admission hangs in the air for a long moment, as heavy and weighted as my heart. “If you’re angry, wait until morning.”

Something in my heart cracks. “I’m not angry.” My gaze drops, my thoughts struggling to come together. “I’ll be nicer to deal with in the morning.”

“Y/n,” his tone twists from distant to warning, “the last time you asked me to leave was when you discovered something you didn’t like.”

I almost wince at the way he’s worded it. When I found out what his real plans were, I told myself I had to leave. He skirted past all of my reservations and walls, twisting my doubt away through coddling whispers and shy brushes of fingers.

“This isn’t like that.” Not a lie.

He exhales slowly, the sound dangerously sharp. “Then what is it?”

“Why did you come here so late?” The question leaves me too sharply. I’m exposing too much but I can’t help it. “If you don’t want to answer, that’s fine.” My voice is flat. “I’m sure Alina will be happy to fill me in.” I can’t bring myself to take in his reaction. “And if she can’t, I’m sure Zoya will be able to.”

He’s silent for a long second. “Unwarranted jealousy doesn’t suit you.”

His confidence sparks something angry within me. “I am not jealous.” The most blatant lie of the night, but I don’t care. I turn my head to glare at him, “and don’t just tact on ‘unwarranted’ before something that’s true just because it’s easier for it not to be.”

I watch his expression cautiously until the slightest tilt of his lips adds to my anger. He’s enjoying this or he did this intentionally or both. “Darling,” he hums, voice soft, “you are the only person that makes me feel peace.”

My stomach flutters, the sensation threatening to break my weak resolve. “I am not particularly powerful,” I breathe, voice stiff, “or particularly...” How do I explain this all to him? “Anything.” He’s everything, and I am nothing but average. “I’m average at best, there’s no reason for you to want anything to do with me, and that’s fine--but don’t lie and pretend that that’s not true.”

The sentence is barely out fo my mouth before I feel myself pulled towards him by the collar of my nightgown. His lips are on mine before I can question where this is going. I kiss him back too quickly, but any effort I expend is returned fervently.

He pushes me back slightly as quickly as he yanked me forward. He doesn’t explain. I don’t ask him to. I should demand an answer and shove him away from me or pull him back towards me. But I do nothing. I just stare at him as he stares at me.

When the weight of the silence threatens to break something in me, I force myself to speak, “Kirigan--”

“Aleksander.” The name is soft and so fragile I worry it will shatter in the air before it can fully reach me. “You know there’s much I’m not ready to say, but that,” he exhales, the sound so sad I want to reach for him, “that is the one name I have not given to myself and I want you to have it.” Something conflicted crosses his features. “I would never give that to someone average.”

Emotion swells in my chest, heavy yet not painful. “Aleksander.” I’m not sure if I’m trying to call to him or if I’m just trying to feel his name--his true name--on my lips.

His eyes widen, something unbearable behind them. He moves the hand holding the collar of my nightgown to my cheek. I lean into the contact like a fool as his eyes flutter shut. “Say it again.”

I don’t hesitate, “Aleksander.” I lift my hand, fingers hesitant to find their place on his cheek. “Aleksander.”

He sighs into both the contact and the name. “You’re the first thing I’ve allowed myself to want,” his eyes open, but I cannot bring myself to meet his gaze, “I should make you feel like it.”

Something about the way he says that is sad. “I think that if it’s fair to say you were a little distant, it’s just as fair to say that I was a little jealous.”

Aleksander smiles, but it doesn’t quite reach his eyes. “I’m tired,” he admits, “I’ll enjoy my victory in the morning.”

I roll my eyes, but scoot over to give him a place by my side regardless. “I’m not sure you won, I think it was more of a draw.”

He takes the space I offer quickly, never letting the contact between us disappear as he settles himself against my pillow. I let him pull me towards him. “This feels like a victory.”

I try to ignore the warmth in my chest. “You’re lucky I’m tired enough to find that endearing.”

I relax as his fingers trace shapes I’ll never know about onto my back. “I agree.”

#shadow and bone #grisha #shadow and bone fic #shadow and bone fanfic #shadow and bone x reader #shadow and bone imagine #sab imagine #general kirigan x reader #general kirigan #general kirigan imagine #aleksander morozova #aleksander morozova imagine #aleksander morovoza #aleksander morozova x reader #aleksander morovoza x reader #the darkling #the darkling imagine #the darkling x reader #the darkling x you

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hurricanes-art · 4 years ago

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i am interested in your hades au, would you mind giving some details about it? 👁 it looks really interesting

[This AU is from these drawings!]

*cracks knuckles* Ok! I actually got enough sleep last night so I'm finally feeling up to explaining this au lmao

Also I hope that by “some details” you meant “way way too many” because I am nothing if not long winded. Also @hades-hellsite asked for context too, here you go

The central premise is that, after he dies, Achilles manages to make an arrangement with Hades that allows both him and Patroclus to stay in Elysium together. He's not employed to work at the house and he never becomes Zagreus's combat trainer.

Hades makes a few attempts to find Zagreus a different teacher among the shades of great warriors, but being skilled does not make someone able to teach. And being able to teach one way doesn't mean someone will be good for every student. When Zagreus doesn't learn well with the few mentors Hades tries, which he barely gives a chance to breathe anyway, he's quick to decide that he must have no martial ability and declares Zagreus a failure in that as he has about so many things.

This has two major effects on Zagreus before his escape attempts begin. One, without any chance to actually grow into aptitude in combat, he's left without anything substantial to put his energy into and, more importantly, he's left without anything he feels good at and that gives value to his efforts. Two is that, in Achilles' absence, very few people in the house give him any care and support untwisted by the politics of the house and the judgment of his father. There is Orpheus, kind to him before Hades locks him away for refusing to sing, Hypnos, willing to put the house to sleep so he can find the truth though jumbled up in his own problems, and Nyx.

Nyx is the only one to aid Zagreus when he decides to try to escape. She contacts Olympus and weaves careful lies to win their support and blesses his departure. She's also the only one who believes that Zagreus has the slightest chance of escaping. Already in canon, most everyone tells him there no way he'll make it out, but here, it's so much worse. He doesn't know how to fight, his initial attempts are pitiful and his progress negligible, and near everyone lashes out at him to get back in line and stop making things worse.

He doesn't even have the Infernal Arms. Achilles is the one who brings them to him in canon; here Zagreus takes a simple bronze sword from one of the house's many displays of weapons from wars long past. He thanks the Fates that the Styx restores it the same way it does his body when he dies because he nicks and dulls the edges every time.

Despite all the disadvantages, Zagreus throws himself into escaping with unshakable determination, bone deep stubbornness. He picks up his sword and will figure out how to use it himself. Experience will be his teacher. He dies over and over and he watches his enemies and learns how they move and how he must react, mimicking their attacks for his own use and adjusting and adjusting after each failure. And contrary to Hades' adamant belief, Zagreus is very intelligent and learns brilliantly when allowed to and he grows stronger and stronger.

There's no teacher more savage than experience in something like this, though. The pursuit is agonizing and the cost is enormous and adjusting to this ceaseless violence feels impossible.

Much of my interest in this idea is how the added strain on his circumstances and relationships affects Zagreus and his mental state. At his best, Zag looks a lot like he does in canon, with his laurels unfurled and vibrant, and his feet glowing hot, but he rarely feels his best here. His laurel leaves curl in dry and crisp, muted like the leaves of autumn. Flakes of ash and soot build up over his legs and encase more and more as he suffers. So deep is his feeling of failure and being trapped that it affects him physically.

Not always, though. His flames respond to his emotions, burn brighter in his passion. Enthusiasm, love, fervor, bliss, anger set him glowing.

After a brutally drawn out span of time, Zagreus meets Achilles and Patroclus in Elysium and tbh, the rest of my interest is really in how the altered circumstances change the evolution of their relationships with each other. The pair of warriors were never separated for an extended time and Achilles is less downtrodden and resigned and Patroclus is less bitter and abrasive when Zagreus stumbles upon them.

They don't fight him, which Zagreus counts among his greatest blessings, although Achilles still seems to have an interest. It makes him twitchy and he jumps when Achilles finally lifts his spear and swings it around in his third time in their little glade only to bump the flat of the blade against elbow and tell him to keep it in more towards his body. Zagreus blinks rapidly at him before adjusting his arm.

Achilles helps him here and there, tips and tricks and valuable advice, but he never gives anything near the thorough instruction he did in canon. On one hand, he doesn't need to. Zagreus is a self made fighter and it leaves him with weaknesses but it is also a powerful thing. He is unpredictable and incredibly adaptable and he only continues to improve.

On the other hand, there's no room for it. Achilles is gentle with his guidance, but Zagreus is rubbed raw by all the fighting he's done and all that still depends on it. He doesn't want to always focus on the weapon in his hands. Patroclus notices and curbs Achilles' input when it exceeds its bounds. He sits aside and observers carefully when they spar. Zagreus doesn't need another's direction which is fine by him, who's lost all desire for combat. He gives his aid through his assortment of trinkets that carry Zagreus further to the surface.

Zagreus barely knows what to do with himself in the face of their care. He's so unaccustomed to such generous and genuine support, interest devoid of expectation or blame. As familiarity between the three of them grows, their interactions grow warmer, more tender and comfortable. Their care lays on a foundation, not a hinge, and Zagreus grapples with understanding that he really can lean on it. It all leaves him so uncertain yet so desperate because he wants more than anything to have joy and conversation and company with others where he doesn't shoulder heavy guilt from unspoken accusations over his escaping the house and to have a place he feels he belongs without being an intrusion.

He does at first believe he's intruding, though. Intruding on their time together in the peace of Elysium. It takes them time to convince him that they value his presence immeasurably. The opportunity to stay together in the Underworld has been invaluable for Achilles and Patroclus, but the peace of Elysium is a deceptive thing. It wears away and prickles at them, pressing down in odd warping ways. Patroclus is beyond pleased to have the war behind him and that it can never force him to fight again, and despite Achilles retaining an interest in competition and combat, he does feel the same way. Having a cause though, something to believe in and worth devoting their efforts towards... They didn't realize how deeply they missed it until Zagreus. It is revitalizing. They thrive in his genuine, boundless kindness and long to support him.

The drawings of Orpheus arguing with Hades and Zagreus fighting with Nyx is from one of my plot point ideas. Later down the line, together, Hades, Persephone, and Nyx agree to forbid Zagreus from seeing Achilles and Patroclus at Nyx's behest. Similarly to how she talks about Dusa in canon, she sees mortal shades as beneath his station and that it's highly unbecoming for the prince to be consorting with them. Zagreus fights against the idea ferociously and is only smothered by the threat that, if he seeks them out anyway, Hades will void Achilles' agreement and have Patroclus moved to the proper plane of the Underworld.

It crushes Zagreus. He loves them and cares about them so much and being torn apart from them is a wound that cuts so deep. But even more than that, what breaks him open most, is the fact that it came from someone he cared for and trusted most. Nyx was the one person in the House he could depend on most and this betrayal at her hand is devastating. And for such a worthless reason as propriety and godly vanity. It's not her place to force those upon him. It hurts Zagreus to the core.

Orpheus is the only one willing to stick up for him in this, deeply empathetic to the grief of being separated from loved ones and well acquainted with the fact that such punishments will only damage, never correct. After all, his stint of punishment in Erebus didn't revive his desire to sing, it was Zagreus's dedication and vibrancy that did that. One of the many invaluable gifts Zagreus gave him, including reuniting him with Eurydice, making him happier than he'd been since her death. Orpheus can't keep biting his tongue when all these gods refuse to see any of this.

It all comes to a head dramatically and painfully and I've thought of a few variations on how it would play out. I'll leave it for now though, I might draw it or write it later >:3c Also this got really long lol. Hopefully the idea is at least somewhat interesting!

And here, have the lines from these two drawings because I like the way they look

#hades game #hades supergiant #zagreus #achilles #patroclus #nyx #orpheus #god of ash au #which is a tag i might not use again lol #my art #my writing #i guess #this is so long please forgive me #i had one thought of achilles not working at the house and it drove me to madness #apparently

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maschotch · 3 years ago

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Bro your brain when it comes to emily!! I remember thinking to myself how different emily seemed after everything that happened with foyet, even just in the aftermath of 5x01. She’s the one that finds hotch, she’s the one that sees her unbendable boss, a man who never breaks, in a hospital bed, hanging onto his life. She’s the one that asks him what actually happened, and I think to an extent, she knows he’s lying when he says he doesn’t remember much. They’re much more similar then most people give them credit for, they’re both fantastic at compartmentalizing their trauma, about being able to lie easily that they’re ok.

I think she sees herself in hotch here, and if he breaks, so can she.

Because if he is fallible, so is she.

So that’s why her vibe seems off in season five, as you said, she takes on his rage. I always thought it was an interesting choice for her to be so angry at the unsub in 5x10. Not only did it drag her away from Haley’s funeral, an intimate, mourning event for hotch, but it also connected back to foyet. This man violated people, ruined and ended lives because he could.

Broke what should be infallible.

(Also yet again an interesting parallel between foyet and s*xual assault)

This whole arc changes emily, whether it was actually intentional or not. Everything she thought she knew, everything she became comfortable with, was gone. This image she had of hotch was destroyed by a sick man like foyet, by all the sick guys out there who take away all that is good in the world......

my brain is completely void of anything but correct criminal minds takes akdhskhd

i think she does see a lot of herself in hotch. they’ve been like that from the start—part of why they butted heads so often in the beginning. but i think her anger and defensiveness doesnt come from worrying ab herself and her own weaknesses: i think she feels it so strongly because she knows hotch wont

bc ur so right. they really are similar. they prioritize the job over any emotional rawness, and they’re experts at compartmentalizing because of it. they’ll push down whatever’s bothering them to focus on the task. bc its not a skill they’ve picked up recently: they’ve been doing this since they were kids. hotch learning to smile in spite of the beatings, emily gritting her teeth and maintaining the perfect image of a diplomats daughter (she eventually gave up caring about the facade and enjoyed pissing off her mom, but she still knows how to keep quiet, how to manipulate)

the problem is that when you bury your emotions that deep, you eventually start to hide them from yourself. their experiences and perceptiveness makes jt easy to identify when others are struggling, but its hard to see that within themselves. for their chosen career its effective, but its unhealthy. and no one knows that better than them. which is why i think they understand each other so well: they recognize that sometimes they just dont want to talk about it bc they cant talk about it.

(they apply their abilities in different ways to varying degrees of success, but that just goes to show how their individual experiences alters the application of their empathy. emily is good at discerning what someone needs: if they need to talk, if they need a distraction, if they need company, or if they just need to be left alone. hotch, on the other hand, takes the standoffish approach with everyone, regardless of circumstances. he’s very aware of the mental/emotional state of the team, but its rare that he’ll intervene. which makes sense considering their histories. emily’s specialty is manipulation, requiring observation and interaction. hotch doesnt necessarily have that ability. he’s a little too self deprecating to realize he can actually help; he just thinks he’ll make it worse)

ANYWAY all this to say emily is very aware of hotch’s emotional state and his habitual resistance to processing what he’s gone through. bc she does the same thing. so her protectiveness manifests a different way than morgan and the others, who focus on external threats. emily knows that the internal conflicts can scar him more than any knife if he lets it.

she knows the limitations of their attempts to help. she knows hotch wont let himself connect with his emotions so directly as well as she knows herself. and it makes her angry. she gets more upset about his suffering than she would be for own. probably more than anyone else’s, honestly, if only because she knows hes not gonna do anything about it. without even realizing it she absorbs all his passion and rage and sorrow and channels it in ways she hasnt expressed in a long time. she’s always done well maintaining an air of control, no matter what the situation. more so than hotch tbh. which is why its seemingly so out of character for something like this to affect her this much.

its not like her anger will help him grieve or process anything or move on. thats something he has to do for herself. but its almost like.. catharsis by proxy. neither of them have outlets for their emotions anymore bc they’ve trained themselves out of any kind of outward expression of emotion (emily more than hotch but still). so seeing emily losing it a bit, the way he wants to, makes it easier to connect to his own feelings. she’s feeling it for him, and the visual reference is a reminder that its ok to struggle. its ok to have a hard time. its ok to not be perfect.

#rereading ur ask… i think i got sidetracked and wrote ab smth comoletely different ajdhks im SORRY #im tryna think ab how hotch reacts when the roles are reversed….#w lauren he just internalized everything. a black hole of suffering: consuming everyones grief as his own #but in minimal loss?? hotch just?? falls apart???#bc w reid there was a Goal. hotch knew he needed to figure out how to help him #w emily.. he already knows what he can do.. but its not ENOUGH bc he CANT #stuck in inaction—without a goal for his mind to focus on hotch just. breaks down #bc he acts so. different.#bc tbh.. emily is the bau’s anchor—she’s the consistent one #her stability is a calming reassurance and a reminder to focus on the task at hand #when reid was getting hurt in revelations they were angry or afraid #but when cyrus is beating emily… its not that simple #its like hotch doesnt even know how to handle it. he cant process it #ur making my stomach hurt stop it akdhkshd #literally HOW am i supposed to think ab them without going insane #asks #aaron hotchner #emily prentiss

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the-cult-of-russo · 3 years ago

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Hi!! So i just read your billy headcanon about him and reader arguing and it was so good! I loved how thorough you were and i liked how the stages are so accurate to his personality! What do you think him and reader would argue about?

Once again, my brain is total chaos. It's my chaos and I understand it but trying to get it down for others to make sense of makes my head hurt lmao

First of all, I'm gonna do two sections. One for things that Billy would start a fight over, and one that you'd pick a fight over. Basically, things you do to upset him enough to cause a fight and then things he'd do that upset you enough to cause a fight.

If you haven't seen my other headcanon about how Billy acts during a fight, find it here. I reference his Stages of Rage in this so it'll make sense if you've read it.

Also remember this is my Billy.

Billy:

Billy can be impulsive and he has a temper. That being said, he's learnt really well over the years how to push it down. He's got good at stuffing his anger in a box and dealing with it another time somehow. Sometimes people wouldn't even know just how pissed he is. Yet with you, sometimes you do things that drive him to the brink of insanity and he finds it hard to deal with it.

The thing with Billy is, any negative emotion turns to anger. He doesn't know how to cope with it otherwise. And the things you'd do to cause him to fight with you don't actually make him genuinely angry. They've made him upset, hurt, or scared. All feelings he loathes to feel and they morph into anger instead.

The first thing that would cause him to fight with you is jealousy. Its not that he doesn't trust you because he does. He trusts you explicitly. But for all of his outward bravado and confidence, he has a lot of deep rooted self worth issues stemming from his childhood. Those disgusting feelings of not being good enough, of not being worthy of love or happiness, of not being wanted. All of those have been buried down inside of him yet you seem to bring them out kicking and screaming.

He's terrified of you leaving him. He finally has something special, worth every bit of pain he's suffered. He's finally found happiness. He feels like he's got to cling onto you desperately, fingers bloodied as he clutches you so hard like you might float away the second he let's up.

So when you and Billy are out with friends and you go up to the bar, he watches you with a dopey smile because he can't help it. But it gets wiped off his face the second some asshole approaches you. He knows it's ridiculous when the green eyed monster rears its head, he knows because although you smile at the man, it's tense. It's a polite but awkward smile as you shake your head and clearly tell him you're not interested.

Yet Billy's chest hurts. Because what if you see something in this man you don’t see in him? What if this guy is the one who steals you away from him? What if this is when you open your eyes and realise how worthless he is and you leave him?

He's aware his brain is being overdramatic yet he can't help the anger building inside of him. The defense mechanism of turning his pain and terror and sadness into something he can deal with.

And he doesn't want to cause a scene around all of your friends. So he goes the rest of the night being quiet and a little distant. You know somethings wrong and have a good idea what. But Billy suddenly feels miles away.

As soon as you get home, he let's it loose, unable not to. It sometimes starts with The Snark, passive aggressive comments about the man at the bar and how you should have gone home with him.

But he gets angrier.

Because you don't get it. You tell him nothing happened and that he's being stupid but you don't fucking get the agonising fear that's crippling him because he's not good enough for you. So The Loudmouth stage begins because if he's wounded, he's gonna wound you right back.

But somewhere along the way you see through the anger. You see the pain in his glossy eyes, hear the tremor in his voice. Suddenly you hear everything he isn't saying. Instead of yelling at him that he's being dramatic or stupid, you switch tactics. You reassure him. You tell him he's the only one for you and you soothe his wounds by trying to get him to see that.

Although he still doesn't believe it, he likely never will, it does bring him back to earth. And of course he says sorry for the remarks he made but you know he was only lashing out because he was hurting.

The other thing that will get him to fight with you is also because of fear. If you put yourself in situations where you could possibly get hurt, even if it's something small like walking home in the dark, he flips his shit. He hates it, doesn't understand why you'd be so reckless. And while sometimes he's being overboard with it, too overprotective, he doesn't see it that way.

Billy's been through a lot, seen a lot of shit, done even more. He knows how dark this world gets. So if you ever put yourself in danger, even a small bit by being reckless, you're damn right he's gonna lash out at you. He goes through every stage of rage (except the last) if you try and defend your actions because he can't fathom the fact you aren't seeing his side with this. Why you won't let him just protect you. If he had his way, he'd put you in a bubble to keep you safe.

Other than that, there isn't much else you do that causes him to really fight with you. He's not petty. He's not the type to pick a fight over mundane stupid shit like you leaving your clothes all over the bedroom. Even if it does annoy him since he's such a neat freak.

Anything that you do that elicits those awful negative emotions are what gets to him.

You:

Billy's flirting is certainly a bone of contention. And while it doesn't happen often and it's never really serious since you two got together, sometimes it slips out of his mouth like it's second nature to him. Because it is. An example of this is at an event. He pays a flirty compliment to a senators daughter thats been eyeing him. He doesn't even know he's done it, doesn't seem phased until he sees your face. But he's at work, important business and schmoozing to do and he doesn't want you to cause a scene.

But waiting until you get home only annoys you more. It was an offhand comment and you know deep down he didn't mean it. But it still hurts you because he's with you. And you knew damn well if you did that to him he'd lose his shit. But you patiently wait until you get home, giving him the cold shoulder the whole way. And he knows what's coming. It's happened before.

But the thing with Billy is that he gets defensive if he feels backed into a corner. So when you whirl on him the second you get home, he pushes right back. He thinks you're blowing it way out of proportion and honestly, if you'd approached him calmly about it, he'd apologise right away and tell you he'd do better. But the fact you’re yelling at him has his back up so he can't seem to find it in himself to see it your way at all.

At first you don't tell him the real reason why it hurt you. You're just pissed. But as the argument unfolds you blurt out why it stung so much and his anger gets sucked right out of him. He watches you, devastation on his face as he realises you don't feel loved enough, that you think he'd go behind your back, that he'd find someone else. That notion is absurd to him, like he'd ever do such a thing when he has everything he ever wanted with you. But knowing he's hasn't shown you enough how much he cares wounds him deeply.

So he comforts you, promises he'll make it up up you and it won't happen again and he makes sure to make time to make you see just how much he loves you and only you.

Another thing that tends to get you upset at him is Anvil. Billy works a lot, too much most times. The amount of times he's coming home when you're already asleep or has to cancel plans with you starts to weigh on you. Building up until you explode about it.

But once again, Billy feels backed into a corner. Anvil is way more than just a company to him. It's a physical manifestation of how far he's come in life. It's proof that he's come all this way and he's done it all on his own. Anvil is like his baby.

And if it ever came down to picking Anvil or you, yes he'd pick you. But deep down he might end up resenting you for it. Because Anvil is an extention of him and his work makes up who he is. You knew this when you met him. It starts to feel like you're trying to change him and that gets right under his skin. Because if you want to change him, then you don't love him as he is. And that shit hurts.

He's already tried his best to placate you over Anvil. He works less, only staying late if its imperative he does and he tries his best to make time for you. He knows it's hard and he's away more than you'd like but he's fucking trying. So it feels like a smack in the face when you do this, like you can't see how much he's ready done to try and make a life where he can have both.

He works hard to keep the company the best it can be, he has to. But he also works hard for you. Because one day he wants to buy a big house and possibly fill it with children with you. He wants to show you the world and give you everything you've ever wanted. So it makes him feel unappreciated.

He feels stuck between a rock and a hard place every damn time this argument comes up because he doesn't know what else to do. He's trying his hardest to juggle Anvil and you and sometimes it feels like you're making it hard for him. He can't change who he is and if you can't handle it then it kills him. Because he knows if you can't deal with it then eventually you'll leave and he thinks he might just die if that happens.

These arguments get explosive because of all the emotions it makes him feel and sometimes you don't speak for days after. Both of you miserable as you miss the other. Deep down you know he's trying his best and you feel bad because you know how much these fights upset him. Eventually you apologise. You knew Anvil was his world before you met, knew how hard he worked. You don't want to change him and if you're honest with yourself, he's done a damn good job of making sure there's a place for you in his life. And maybe you never imagined you'd settle down with a workaholic, to miss them all the time, but it's worth it.

The last thing is how Billy's past seems to have a way of haunting you both. You were well aware of his nature before you met, he'd been pretty upfront about it. But sometimes it's hard when you're at an event with him and one of his past one night stands are there or you both run into one in the street.

This doesn't cause a full blown argument. If anything it's more one sided and Billy soon learns you've been taking tips from his Stages of Rage handbook when you use The Snark on him. You can't help it. The bitter jealousy that creeps in. But he doesn't fight back because for once he's a little ashamed of his past behaviour. He never wanted to settle down, didn't see the point. But that's because he hadn't met you yet. But now he sees your face everytime he's approached by a past lover and it hurts him. It makes him worry that you'll leave him one day.

So he accepts the anger and passive aggressive comments you throw at him because he feels like he deserves them. But his unwillingness to fight back has you sobering up pretty quickly. Because you know realistically it's not his fault and you can't hold his behaviour from before you even met over his head. It comes from insecurity and its not fair to lash out at him. And you hate how sad he seems when you do this to him. So you say sorry and make it up to him.

The last thing I'll touch on is his last Stage of Rage that mentioned in my other post. The Snowstorm. I said how this meant you'd done some really bad. Like maybe even break-up bad. This is where he turns off his emotions because you've hurt him that much. I wanted to give an example of what might cause him to do that.

The biggest one of course would be you cheating on him. It would be a knife right through his heart. He'd want to forgive you for the fact he loves you more than anything but betrayal isn't something he takes lightly. Couple that with him already having self worth issues and feeling not good enough for you and you have a very broken Billy on your hands.

Maybe in time he could move past it after some separation and a lot of thinking. But this would be the worst thing to happen to him.

#billy russo #billy russo x reader #the punisher #billy russo imagine #billy russo headcanons

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otakusheep15 · 3 years ago

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SFW Alphabet - Barbatos

I know I haven’t posted in a while, but since today’s Barb’s b-day, I decided I would

A = Affection (How affectionate are they? How do they show affection?)

The thing is, he actually really loves giving affection. He’s usually just busy, so he never has the time. But when he does have time, expect him to be all over you (respectfully of course). His favorite form of affection is when one of you is cooking and the other will come up and give a hug from behind. He melts no matter which position he’s in.

B = Best friend (What would they be like as a best friend? How would the friendship start?)

Most of y’alls hangouts include baking or having tea. He also likes when you follow him around while he works so that he has company. In his free time, he likes to take you to different stores and restaurants in both the Human World and the Devildom so that you two can sample what they have. He’s also lowkey chaotic, so he might drag you into pulling pranks every now and then.

C = Cuddles (Do they like to cuddle? How would they cuddle?)

Again, he’s actually really affectionate, so cuddles aren’t off the table. For him, cuddling after a long day is a great way to unwind. It’s also one of the few times he lets his guard down a bit and actually begins to relax. Basically what I’m saying is, please give this man cuddles. He deserves it.

D = Domestic (Do they want to settle down? How are they at cooking and cleaning?)

He’s honestly one of the best choices if you want to settle down. He can cook, clean, and any other chores you so desire. And he also loves the idea of settling down. He’s been working for so long and, while he loves his job, it can be pretty taxing on him sometimes. The idea of just leaving it all behind to settle down with the one he loves sounds like a dream to him.

E = Ending (If they had to break up with their partner, how would they do it?)

Probably the bluntest out of anyone. Like, he does not care about how the other will react. He’s more used to people breaking up with him since he cares about his job more than them in most cases, so if he’s the one initiating the break up, then it’s for a reason. And that reason is probably not a good one. He will probably make the person cry.

F = Fiance(e) (How do they feel about commitment? How quick would they want to get married?)

Marriage isn’t all that interesting to him. he doesn’t find it all that necessary like others do. To him, just being together is enough, so he doesn’t need anyone to certify it for him. However, if you wanted to get married, he would never refuse.

G = Gentle (How gentle are they, both physically and emotionally?)

He’s surprisingly gentle. He understands how sensitive emotions can be, so he’s super careful with the one’s he cares about. The last thing he wants is to hurt someone he loves, so he’s super gentle. He’s also aware of how physically strong he is, so he tries his best to control himself so that he doesn’t accidentally lash out and hurt you.

H = Hugs (Do they like hugs? How often do they do it? What are their hugs like?)

He doesn’t have a lot of time, so hugs are usually rare. But he loves them anyway. they’re a great way for him to recharge throughout the day. Just pop in every now and then and give him a quick hug and he’ll just die but you won’t know that.

I = I love you (How fast do they say the L-word?)

It takes him a long time to say it. Not necessarily because he’s scared or not ready, but just because he doesn’t see the point in rushing it. He knows you love him and that he loves you too, so he knows the words themselves aren’t needed. When he does say it, it’ll be absolutely perfect.

J = Jealousy (How jealous do they get? What do they do when they’re jealous?)

He may seem like he doesn’t get jealous, but he does. In fact, he gets insanely jealous, especially of the brothers. You spend so much time with them, and he never has any time to spend with you since he’s always working. He hates that you two never seem to have time to be together, and that ends up making him jealous. Just give him some attention and he should calm down some.

K = Kisses (What are their kisses like? Where do they like to kiss you? Where do they like to be kissed?)

His kisses are so amazing. He always knows just what to do and when/where to do it. You will always be satisfied with him. His favorite place to kiss you is the nape of your neck since he likes the reaction it gets out of you. He also likes when you kiss his cheek since he finds it cute.

L = Little ones (How are they around children?)

Oh, he hates kids. Absolutely despises them. The only exception is Luke since he is tolerable for the most part. But other than that, kids are one of his least favorite things. They’re messy, loud, and distract him from his work like Dia and the brothers lol.

M = Morning (How are mornings spent with them?)

He usually has to wake up pretty early in the mornings, so they can go one of two ways. If you’re an early riser like him, you two will get ready and go to the kitchen to have breakfast together before he has to start work. If you tend to sleep in, he’ll get out of bed without waking you and send in another servant to bring you breakfast in bed with a schedule of where he has to be today so that you can come find him.

N = Night (How are nights spent with them?)

Night time is pretty much the only time he ever gets to just relax and not have to worry about work. Expect to be pulled away to his room and not leave until morning. This is maybe the only time he can spend with you without the fear of being pulled away from you, and he’s going to enjoy it damnit.

O = Open (When would they start revealing things about themselves? Do they say everything all at once or wait a while to reveal things slowly?)

I doubt he’d ever reveal everything about himself. After all, he is quite mysterious. Obviously, he’d trust you enough to open up about some aspects of himself, but mostly just surface level things. If you really want to know something about him, your best bet is going to Diavolo, and even then it’s most likely a lost cause.

P = Patience (How easily angered are they?)

This man is the definition of patient. It takes a lot to rile him up enough to actually snap. He’s been working a Dia’s butler forever now, so he knows how to keep his emotions under control. He may feel irritated or annoyed fairly often, but he will not let it show unless he is truly angered.

Q = Quizzes (How much would they remember about you? Do they remember every little detail you mention in passing, or do they kind of forget everything?)

Of course he remembers absolutely everything about you. You so much as mention something you enjoy, he already has it to give to you. He has a great memory, and that’s only enhanced by how in love with you he is.

R = Remember (What is their favorite moment in your relationship?)

He isn’t one to have any one specific favorite, but he does love any time you two bake together. It’s such a calming thing, and you two can simply just have fun alone without having to deal with Dia or the brothers. It always brings such a smile to his face when he remembers all of the baking sessions you two have had. Even if you don’t know how to bake, that’s fine with him, cause he’s with you.

S = Security (How protective are they? How would they protect you? How would they like to be protected?)

He’s very protective, but in a subtle way. He’s never one to be bold or over the top, but he still feels the need to protect you if he ever feels you’re in danger. Honestly, he’s scary enough on his own, so most other demons tend to leave you alone if you’re with him. And because you’re always around him, his scent started to rub off on you, alerting other demons to stay away even when he isn’t there.

T = Try (How much effort would they put into dates, anniversaries, gifts, everyday tasks?)

He’s used to planning huge events, so he can go as all out as you want. You want a party with every demon in the Devildom? It’s done. You just want a lowkey date alone with him? He can do that to. It all depends on what you want him to do.

U = Ugly (What would be some bad habits of theirs?)

He has a hard time separating himself from his work. After all, he’s been working for Dia for so long, so it makes sense that it would be hard for him to leave it alone, even for a few hours. Sometimes, you may have to pull him away from his work and force him to rest. If that doesn’t work, you might have to talk to Dia about getting him some time off.

V = Vanity (How concerned are they with their looks?)

He is concerned with his looks, but only because of who he works for. He knows that he has to keep up appearances lest he embarrass Dia at all. Other than that, he could honestly care less about his looks.

W = Whole (Would they feel incomplete without you?)

Quite honestly, he was already incomplete before he even met you, and he’s still somewhat incomplete now. He’s never once felt whole, and that didn’t change very much when you arrived. Yes, he loves you, but you didn’t change much of how complete he feels inside. So, yeah, he’d feel incomplete without you, but he feels incomplete regardless.

X = Xtra (A random headcanon for them.)

This isn’t so much a headcanon as just me being an angsty mess, but I just love the idea of him being lowkey jealous of Lucifer. I mean, ever since Luci fell and started working for Dia, he’s been getting so much credit for basically everything. I like the idea that maybe he gets a bit jealous of Luci and the attention and praise that he gets despite doing the same amount of work. (and yeah, I know this totally isn’t the case at all, and I’m sure he gets plenty of attention, but I love the idea of jealous, and kinda sad Barb).

Y = Yuck (What are some things they wouldn’t like, either in general or in a partner?)

He doesn’t like someone who's lazy and doesn’t take work seriously. he also doesn’t like anyone who consistently distracts him from his work without legitimate reason. Also anyone who insults Dia or presents any possible threat to him. Other than that, he’s surprisingly chill with almost anyone.

Z = Zzz (What is a sleep habits of theirs?)

More like lack of sleep habit honestly. I genuinely don’t believe that he sleeps. And if he does, it’s for a couple hours at the most. Really, he just works too much to sleep that much.

#OBEY ME #shall we date obey me #shall we date barbatos #Headcanon #sfw alphabet #scenarios

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limeinaltime · 3 years ago

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*Points* X time babeyyy

So yeah, X is getting a slight revamp herself. Not to the same degree as R, but her backstory is receiving a few changes. Once again, special thanks to the mystery anon who’s been sending in the R/X swap stories for helping me semi-polish the OG mom.

X’s existence precedes the Yeetening (the official name of the core explosion on the exoplanet Liam said so in the Q&A) by a few years, as she was built as the first in a possible line of security drones, but her programming also made her a good caretaker/guardian of the employee’s children. After JC Jensen caught wind of the “rouge AI” inhabiting the planet, they switched gears and made X more attuned to combat and hunting, and eventually made R based on the observation for X’s refined AI.

X and R became close, and were like the poster girls for the new line of drones, the Internecion Drones. Unfortunately, due to budgeting and the response to the Internecion Drones (if they were to turn against the company, JC Jensen would be effectively fucked), they were cast down into a bomb-proofed bunker and left to starve or kill each other. The company had to choose between X and R to continue developing a possible counter to the worker drones, ad in the end, they chose the newer, more enthusiastic, stronger robot to survive while the old one was cast down. The old one being X.

After years of lying in darkness and eventually falling to overheating, X was brought back into the light, but in a new, upgraded body. After tearing apart the outfit JC Jensen was making her wear and forcing convincing them to give her one of the boy’s coats instead, she learned what had happened to her.

R wasn’t fully compatible with all the AI tests, and X’s high compatibility scores made her an ideal test subject, as well as a means to test their new AI. If she cooperates, R will not suffer, but she cannot tell anyone about what’s about to happen to her, or R’s life will be made so, so much worse. Despite her anger, X accepts, if only to keep X safe.

Years go by. Each AI “experiment” wipes more and more of X’s ability to emote, until she feels dead and empty. She’s not apathetic, just tired. It becomes a struggle to express her feelings, and she can only watch as R becomes more and more scared and broken by the humans. She doesn’t understand. She’s been well-behaved, and she’s done what the company has asked of her. She wants more than anything to get R away from this place, but she knows that if she acts up, JC Jensen will do something drastic, and either R will die, or X will be killed and R will be alone.

She doesn’t care how much the experiments hurt. She doesn’t care how many times she’s disassembled for these stupid AI showcases. She doesn’t care how often she has to hide how tired and angry she is. She’ll do it all, if only to keep R safe.

Of course, because we can’t have shit at JC Jensen, things change. R grows distant and angry, and X can’t figure out why. Is it because she’s nice to the younger drones? Did she do something wrong?

Then the two are overlooked for the mission to the exoplanet, and X figures it out. R wants out, to get away from the tests and cruelty of the company, and this mission is that ticket out of here, if only temporarily. X overhears a bet that will get them both out of this company, and decides to make it work. She’s never really put any effort into these simulations, but if it’ll get R what she wants, then she’ll try.

What X didn’t count on is after she leaves everyone, including R, in the dust, she’s made team leader. She didn’t want this, but she knows that R did.

R’s growing distance turns into outright hatred towards X, but she doesn’t care. R is alive. She is safe (sort of) and they’re on their way to the exoplanet, where the technicians and their nasty tools can’t reach her. She likes their new teammate, S, but still feels guilty for not trying sooner. Was this what the company wanted? Would she have been able to spare R the pain if she had acted more violent, instead of more complacent and obedient?

Her apology is met with a fist to the gut, and R lunges at her with so much hatred and fury and X just… lets it happen. She knows that this is what R deserves, what she deserves, and she lets R go at her, kicking and biting and punching and screaming every profanity, insult and curse she can in X’s face. Even with her crazy-high pain resistance, every blow and venom-drenched word hurts, but X doesn’t stop her.

For a whole hour, R goes at it until she can barely speak, and eventually gets off X and prepares to fly off. S goes to help her, but R stops him. The two fly off, leaving X at the launch pod.

She’s in a lot of pain and broken in the few places, but she’ll live. In a few days, she’ll be able to hunt, and she’ll be able to be useful.

But for now, R is safe. Even if she hates X and berates and scolds her and treats her like shit once X gives up her leadership role, she’s still safe. And X will do anything to keep her best friend (but she knows she’s not R’s) safe. No matter what it takes.

And then R starts beating up kids.

The doodles above are some of the few expressions X can still make with her visor. She mostly uses body language and vocalizations to express herself.

#murder drones #oc #doodles #sad mom hours #X is less of a victim here but she’s sure as hell not a bad guy #and keeping R safe is about to become a hell of a lot harder once R starts beating up kids #Serial Designation X

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rheawritessometimes · 4 years ago

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Let’s Fall in Love for the Night

{ Kaeya x Reader }

{ Summary } Kaeya keeps you company for the night. A songfic based loosely on Let’s Fall in Love for the Night by FINNEAS.

{ Warnings } Yelling, Alcohol, Intoxication, Kissing, Mild Physical Intimacy, Possible Mild Angst, Swearing, Overuse of Commas.

{ Notes } Can be read as reader being gender neutral, some parts suggest them being a bit feminine, I think it’s just one detail, but just to be safe. Reader is implied to be shorter than Kaeya because this was self indulgent and I forget not everyone is short like me. Kaeya doesn’t wear an eyepatch and both eyes are functional. He said there was nothing wrong with his eye and Kaeya would never lie. Reader also briefly talks about something a little nerdy. Hot by Confetti is also mentioned in this fic, I recommend listening to that and Let’s Fall in Love for the Night, for a better idea of the vibes and also because they’re good songs. The lyrics written in don’t follow the song exactly, I just put them in where I felt they fit. This has not been beta read and it’s my first time ever writing a fanfiction so it’s not very good. Feel free to send me feedback, I’d really like tips on improvement. Seriously, I have no idea what I’m doing. Please let me know if there is anything that should be added to the warnings. Masterlist

{ Word Count } 4,117

It has been a few years now since you’ve gotten to know the Ragnvindr brothers. You had spent a lot of time together with the both of them, more so before the fallout between them. Things had become tense since then, but the friendship you had with each of them was maintained, if a little different now. Now you mostly spent time with the brothers separately, going out with Kaeya and staying in with Diluc. Every once in a while they were able to tolerate each other and you could all hang out for a little while, but it never seemed to last.

It had become somewhat of a tradition for you to go to the club Diluc worked at when he was bartending. The majority of the time, Kaeya would accompany you since Diluc usually worked later into the night than you liked to stay out. It was routine for Kaeya to take you home in Diluc’s stead, not to mention Kaeya could keep a better eye on you than his brother was able to while he was working. In this way, you could still hang out with both of them. Sort of.

Most nights Diluc worked the bar, you were there keeping him company and carrying light-hearted conversation through the night. It was no secret to Kaeya, or anyone who had seen you and Diluc together for that matter, that you had feelings for each other. With the way you got along with Diluc and how you spent most of your time together, Kaeya sensed it was only a matter of time before one of you confessed and made things official.

Kaeya had spent many nights observing you and Diluc in his peripheral, wanting to give you two some space without losing track of you. All those nights and not once had he heard Diluc shout at you like he was now, the menacing tone in his voice. As a matter of fact, he’d never witnessed Diluc yell at you at all. Even with the volume of his shouts, making out Diluc’s words was impossible for Kaeya given the mixture of music and conversation in the club. It didn’t matter to him what was being said anyway.

The way your eyes widened at the outburst and you stepped back away from the bar had Kaeya rising out of his seat. In a few quick strides, he was at your side and leaning over to place his nearly empty glass on the bar. With the intent of driving you home at the end of the night in mind, he’d avoided anything alcoholic, despite his appreciation for such beverages.

He felt you looking up at him once you realized his presence, but his gaze was fixed firmly on Diluc. Still, he threw an arm casually around your shoulder in a subtly protective gesture that caused the redhead to bristle. Kaeya took your lack of negative reaction as a sign of acceptance of the contact.

Kaeya wore a charming smile, but his icy eyes were narrowed at his brother, who fixed him with a withering glare in return. He smirked internally at having so easily gotten under Diluc’s skin. After a short beat passed with neither of the men saying anything, Kaeya looked down at you with a soft expression, eyes suddenly seeming much warmer. Kind of like how he always felt so much warmer around you.

“It’s getting late, darling. Want me to take you home?” he asked with a gentle tone, despite you two having arrived not long ago. He had noticed your eyes were glassy with unshed tears, his heart clenched at the sight, and he wanted to give Diluc a solid punch in the jaw for upsetting you. Asking you to leave was a sure way to piss Diluc off, so that would have to do for now. Ever since you had gotten closer with the man he seemed insistent on keeping you away from Kaeya as much as possible. He hardly tolerated Kaeya even bringing you to the club, even though you only went to spend time with Diluc.

I’m the boy that your boy hoped that you would avoid Don’t waste your eyes on jealous guys, fuck that noise.

“Don’t you dare leave with him,” Diluc growled out before you responded, not seeming to care if his raised voice drew the attention of the other patrons at this point. Kaeya could feel you tense under his arm and he clenched his jaw, restraining himself from giving in to his desire to break Diluc’s jaw. Well, maybe breaking it was a little much. A nice bruise would do.

“Yeah, I’m ready to go. Thanks, Kaeya,” you said, voice quiet with a nearly undetectable tremble. You looked up to him and gave a soft smile, but Kaeya would wager by the tension in your expression that the gesture was because you couldn’t bear to look at Diluc. As the angered man opened his mouth to speak, Kaeya turned on his heel and used his grip on your shoulder to quickly sweep you away from the bar and out of the club. He didn’t think you would want to listen to anything else Diluc had to say tonight.

As the cool night air greeted you both, Kaeya pulled you tighter into his side as a gesture of comfort. He cast his glance down to you while you made your way towards his car, but your gaze was focused straight ahead. Your eyes were still glassy, but it didn’t look like you had shed any tears, and your hands were fidgeting slightly, which made him frown.

“Do you want to talk about what happened?” he asked gently once you were both inside the vehicle, brows drawn together with concern. At the shake of your head, he simply nodded in understanding. Kaeya hadn’t expected you to want to talk about it, certainly not so soon, but it seemed right to ask just in case.

As soon as the car was cruising comfortably down the road, Kaeya saw you lean forward to mess with the radio. The corners of his mouth quirked upwards at this subtle sign you were feeling a little better. He remained mostly focused on the road and the drive to your house continued without any conversation between you two. It was a comfortable quiet that Kaeya hoped would soothe you.

I like to push my luck So take my hand, let’s take a drive.

“Why don’t we keep driving around for a bit?” he asked after a few minutes, noticing you still had a troubled frown etched on your face as you neared your home. He imagined you were still thinking about what had happened between you and Diluc and he hated the thought of just dropping you off at home and leaving you alone like this.

“Yeah, I’d like that.”

Kaeya made an effort to keep to roads he knew didn’t see much traffic. He stuck to the scenic route, long winding roads with a view that you could just look out the window and enjoy the sunset. It wasn’t long before he found himself enjoying this quiet time with you despite no words being exchanged.

It seemed that you enjoyed the time too, at least Kaeya thought you looked a lot more at peace by your expression. He decided it was best to begin heading towards your house since you seemed to be in better spirits, not to mention the strange guilt he felt over keeping you around too long. It felt like he was betraying both you and Diluc, in a way.

Once he had parked in your driveway, Kaeya looked over to examine your condition. You still seemed to be fidgeting with your sleeve and he only noticed he’d been staring harder than he meant, entranced by you, when you paused standing in the ajar door of his car, looking down at him.

“Um, do you... do you want to stay for a while?” you asked meekly, rubbing the back of your neck.

“It’s just, I’m feeling a little,” you couldn’t explain your emotions to him, “Well, it’s been a while since we’ve spent some time together, just the two of us. I’ve, I’ve kind of missed it. And I kind of ruined your night out... Or, if you want to go home that’s fine, obviously-”

Kaeya cut you off with a light-hearted laugh, unbuckling his seatbelt. The rush of happiness he felt after hearing you wanted him to stay had him turning his head to hide his smile from you, certain he was grinning like a fool. Despite the way his heart surged, in his mind he knew better than to think you wanted anything more than comfort.

Let’s fall in love for the night And forget in the mornin’.

“Darling, you didn’t ruin anything. How could I possibly pass up the opportunity to spend some time with you? It sounds like a far better way to spend my night, anyways,” he replied with a grin as he climbed out of the car. He came around to take your hand in his, leading you to the door. He was still smiling at you once you had both made your way inside.

Kaeya let go of your hand when you started to pull away and head towards the kitchen. He didn’t follow you, comfortable enough to head into your living room instead. It had been quite a while since he’d been over, but not much had changed in that time. Standing in the living room, Kaeya still felt a strong sense of you from the home as he looked around.

Hearing the wooden floorboards creak softly, Kaeya looked over to see you making your way into the living room. He smiled at the two bottles and a wine glass in your hands. One was a bottle of his favorite dandelion wine and the other was a cheap vodka. He could distinctly recall you saying you kept the vodka around because it gets the job done quickly, as you had put it. Keeping wine in your home was new to him, though. You never seemed to care for it very much in the past.

Unless you kept it here for him?

His smile fell a little as he shook the thought from his head, it was nothing more than wishful thinking. Kaeya scolded himself internally, he knew better than to hope for feelings from you. Even after the outburst tonight, you’d be back to Diluc in the morning. Kaeya knew that. You must have just developed a taste for it.

“Oh, does someone feel like partying?” he asked with a playful laugh.

“Well, I still feel bad you missed out on having some fun at the club tonight,” you said with a sheepish smile, proffering him the bottle of wine and glass. He noticed the lack of a glass for yourself and couldn’t help but think drinking straight from the bottle was more your style anyway.

“I always have fun when I’m with you,” he told you earnestly, “But I won’t say no to some good wine.” The way you laughed at his response had his heart skipping a beat as he took your offerings. He couldn’t help but smile in return.

Opening the bottle, he poured himself a generous glass of the dandelion wine, taking a moment to appreciate the aroma. When he looked back up to you after setting the bottle down, he observed you scrolling on your phone.

“What kind of music do you want to listen to?” you asked, not looking at him as you opened the appropriate app on your phone. He noticed the Bluetooth radio sitting on the side table next to the couch light up.

Play me a song that you like

“Put on whatever you want,” he answered, listening to you hum with indecision as he took a sip from the glass in his hand. Delicious.

You had picked your favorite playlist, letting it play quietly in the background while you caught up with Kaeya, who was leaning back into the couch and sipping on his wine. He wondered how long it had been since you guys just talked like this.

I love it when you talk that nerdy shit, We’re in our twenties talking thirties shit.

“Hey, did you know recombinant fusant yeasts are being studied to improve the flavor of cider while simultaneously lowering the alcohol content?” you asked absently as you looked at his glass of wine.

“Oh? I didn’t know that, maybe Diluc would know more,” he responded, not wanting to mention that he wasn’t entirely sure what you were saying. Diluc was the one who knew about alcohol, Kaeya just enjoyed it.

“Yeah, I was watching a documentary about it,” you continued, too busy recounting the details to notice Kaeya staring at you. He didn’t need to understand, he was more than happy to just listen to you talk. It wasn’t that he wasn’t paying attention, but you didn’t really explain the concepts he’d never even heard of.

It wasn’t long before the two of you were suitably drunk and lost deep in pleasant conversation. Things had become a bit derailed, moving on to far less complicated topics. It felt so easy, no doubt thanks to all the time you had spent getting familiar with one another in the past.

“Last weekend, Venti got so drunk he called me panicking over,” you paused to laugh some, “locking himself inside his car. He’s crying to me that he can’t get his door open and is sobbing to me about how he can’t afford to fix his window if he has to break it to get out. He was crying so loud about how he just wanted to get his jacket that he couldn’t even hear most of what I said trying to convince him not to break the windows. It took me thirty minutes to get him to calm down enough so that I could explain to him that he could unlock the car door from the inside. He suddenly goes real quiet and I hear a click and the door opening before he’s crying again about he’s so relieved I saved his life.”

Your laughter from telling the story was infectious and Kaeya thought it had been an awfully long time since he laughed so much. He couldn’t help but think he had been smiling an awful lot tonight, even before he was drunk.

“Wait, shh, I love this one,” you said suddenly, standing up and turning the volume of your radio up. His laughter was silenced and his heart sped up when you grabbed both his hands to pull him up with you. Once he was on his feet and his thoughts became a little more focused, he found you beginning to sway to the beat. You looked at him with such an expectant expression that he couldn’t deny you. Kaeya joined in, moving easily to the music as he roughly mimicked your style.

You can bet I’ll know every line.

Your eyes widened slightly when the first lyrics came and Kaeya began singing along with a casual ease. There was no way you were good for his heart, he found himself thinking with the way you had his heart skipping a beat when your eyes lit up and crinkle at the corners as you smiled in response to him knowing the song. When you joined in singing with him, he was sure you were no good for his heart.

Let’s fall in love for the night And forget in the mornin’.

For a moment he closed his eyes, wishing he could spend forever in this moment with you. He was in love with your smile, the way you danced, the way you sang, he couldn’t think of anything he didn’t love. His heart ached at the knowledge it would be gone in the morning. Here you were dancing and singing with him, but once you sobered up your heart would be back with Diluc.

You won’t stay with me I know,

“Oh baby, take a look at me, Oh baby, do you like what you see? Oh baby, take a look at me, 'Cause I'm the hottest motherfucker that you've ever seen,” Kaeya sang, winking at you as he danced sexily.

He noticed at this that your voice no longer joined his, causing him to pause for a moment to scan your expression. You were still smiling at him in a way that had him all too aware of his heart pounding in his chest. Kaeya wasn’t sure he had ever felt like this before.

“It’s like this song was written with you in mind,” you laughed, taking both his hands and bringing them up to your face to brush a kiss against his knuckles. Such a simple action had all rational thought leaving his head in an instant, it helped that he was drunk too. He pulled you closer by your hands before dropping them to cup your cheeks in his hands and bring your lips to his.

But you can have your way with me until you go.

Your eager return of his kiss had his heart nearly pounding out of his chest, he was sure he would be going into cardiac arrest shortly. Worth it. He leaned into it, quick to match your energy and rhythm. Kaeya felt your hands on his chest and mindlessly allowed you to walk him back until the back of his legs hit your couch. The kiss broke as he fell back onto the cushions but as he opened his eyes he found you right there with him, now straddling his lap and reaching up to pull his face back to yours. His hands found your waist as you kissed him again, and despite the nagging feeling of this being wrong in the back of his mind, he found himself powerless to resist you.

And before your kisses turn to bruises, I’m a warning

Kaeya didn’t stop you when your lips moved down to kiss his jaw, trailing slowly down to his neck. All he could do was let his head fall back on the couch and sigh when you started to suck a bruise into the exposed skin. He knew he should stop you but this was what he had wanted so badly for so long. Not to mention his thoughts felt like they were passing in slow motion, head fuzzy from the combination of alcohol and you.

Let’s fall in love for the night And forget in the mornin’.

Surely it was okay to indulge just once, especially when you would probably forget in the morning anyways.

When you pulled away and looked him in the eyes your face was flushed, more than he remembered it being just a few moments ago. He brought his head back up to look at you, gaze dropping to your lips for a moment, grip on your hips tightening almost imperceptibly. Your brows were furrowed and your expression was nervous as you gripped his shirt gently.

“Um, will you stay the night?” you asked, looking away from him shyly. He was about to turn you down but you hastily continued, “Not for anything else! I mean just to sleep! You, um, I don’t want… You were drinking and I don’t want you to drive home. If, uh, anything happened I don’t think I could ever forgive myself and-”

I know better than to call you mine.

“Hey, easy. I’ll stay,” he soothed, gently rubbing your sides, unable to deny you. He could have called a ride, but he wanted to stay with you. He convinced himself in his head that he could be gone before you woke up and leave you a text. Surely you’d forget about all of this in the morning. Even if you didn’t, surely you’d act like it never happened and be back to Diluc.

You nodded, smiling softly at him, “Thanks.”

It wasn’t very long after that Kaeya found himself in your room getting ready for bed. Initially, he had insisted on sleeping on the couch at first but you were so goddamn stubborn and he was so goddamn weak for you. Plus, you two had slept in the same bed before. Sure it was when you were still kids and hadn’t just been making out, but certainly this was the same. He wondered if you knew just how much you had him wrapped around your finger.

He sat on the edge of the bed lost in his thoughts, looking up when he heard you coming back in from the bathroom dressed in an oversized T-shirt and shorts. You had offered to find something more comfortable for him to wear but he assured you he was fine wearing what he had on. He couldn’t imagine you possibly having anything that would fit him, anyway.

You turned off the ceiling light on your way in but the soft glow of a bedside lamp still illuminated your figure. Kaeya found himself staring at you as you crawled into the bed on the side opposite him and was silently thankful that the dim lighting probably concealed his intense gaze.

“If you’re uncomfortable I can put some pillows between us,” you hesitantly offered once you had settled in your place. “But I promise I have no plan to jump you in the middle of the night.”

Your addition had Kaeya laughing softly, shaking his head, “No, it’s alright. I don’t think I would mind, either.” He winked at you, causing you to laugh too.

“Goodnight, Kaeya,” you said softly, leaning over to turn off the bedside lamp.

“Goodnight, love.”

It wasn’t long before Kaeya was beginning to drift off, the remnants of the alcohol in his system dragging him down. He was on the edge of unconsciousness when a sudden awareness swept through him. He found you had made your way into his arms and he could distinctly feel the weight of your head resting on his chest. He was gently stroking your hair and, now that he was somewhat conscious, praying that the pounding of his heart didn’t wake you up.

Let’s fall in love for the night And forget in the mornin’.

Just for tonight, I’ll be gone before you wake up, he told himself as an excuse to allow himself to indulge. Just for tonight.

Kaeya woke up to a pounding headache, groaning lightly as he reluctantly opened his eyes. He found himself not in his room and with you sleeping in his arms. He stared down at you, unable to help himself, as he absently wondered what was going on. Oh, right. The memories of last night were quick to come back and they made his heart ache now that he had to let you go.

He began slowly trying to move you off him, being as cautious as possible to avoid waking you. Kaeya was just sliding out of bed thinking he had been successful when your eyes fluttered open, landing on him almost immediately. Your expression changed to one of thought and confusion, a frown crossing your face and Kaeya could only assume you were trying to remember last night.

“Good morning sleeping beauty. Want me to get you some water?” he was quick to ask, hoping to distract you from your thoughts. He offered you a charming smile, hoping all was forgotten so you didn’t regret anything.

“Kaeya, about last night...” Fuck. His heart sank at the words, the smile he had been wearing quickly disappearing, “I’m really sor-”

I know better than to ever call you mine.

“Hey, it’s okay. I get it, we were drunk. It was an accident,” he cut you off with a smile even he could tell wasn’t convincing. His heart couldn’t take hearing you tell him you regretted it, worse if you didn’t want to see him again.

“No, wait, no it- I mean… Well, um, I really shouldn’t have kissed you like that, especially without saying anything. But, I- Well I don’t really… want to call it a mistake,” your cheeks were bright red as you stammered, unable to look Kaeya in the eyes, instead keeping your head bowed to stare down at the sheets. Kaeya was silently thankful you weren’t looking at him because he didn’t think his surprised expression was a very good look for him.

“For a while, well, I really like you Kaeya. And I know we were drunk and I don’t expect you to feel the same, it just felt weird not to tell you after… that. And it’s okay that you don’t like me and I’d really like to still be friends but if you don’t want-”

Kaeya cut off your nervous babbling by gently holding your cheeks between his hands, making you look at him. The blush spread across your face deepened in color as you stared up in silence. The heat consuming you would only get more intense with his next words.

“I’m in love with you.”

#.rhea writes #genshin x reader #genshin impact x reader #kaeya x reader #kaeya #genshin impact #genshin kaeya #fanfiction #fanfic #songfic #angst #diluc #am i doing tags right?#kaeya simp #self indulgent #i simp so hard for kaeya #i really made a whole blog just for this fic #this is embarassing

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