#and also cuz i've never met a musical i didn't like and it's been a hot minute since i've liveblogged listening to a musical

[conartisthaiji]

HEY HEY HEY IT'S LYZ LISTENS TO MUSICALS TIME :3c on tonight's agenda is the outsiders!

[hi-i-love-u-bitch]

Okay I see your "if Hobie and Noir meet they would be besties and punch nazis together" and I totally agree with that! But also consider:

Hobie is Spider Noir's biggest fanboy!

Like in the comics he's like a HUGE Gwen Stacy stan and he's such a goofy little dork about it. In ATSV him and Gwen's relationship is more like chill friends, and I'm okay with that. But I think it be so funny that when Hobie was recruted into Spiderverse society and Miguel was showing him all the other universes with the different Spiderman variants he pauses by the computer screen with that one gritty black and white universe cuz he just saw some guy in a fedora and trench coat PUNCH A FUCKING NAZI!!! WHO IS THAT GUY?!?! HE'S SO COOL!!!

He asks Miguel a million and one question about the guy and when the old grump annoyingly shoos him away he asks Peter as he briefly met him during that one incident in Miles is dimension. When that still isn't enough he asks Lyla to tell him everything she knows on Noir. Now obviously Lyla has no obligation to do this but she's also never seen Hobie this giddy and excited over something other then music. Its adorable, he's almost like a little kid wanting to know everything about their favorite cartoon. Also she low key likes to annoy Miguel and Hobie's rebellious spirit that gets under her straight laced boss is skin which is hilarious.

You know when Gwen first met Hobie she was a bit intimated cuz he just had that "too cool" vibe about him. But as soon as she mentions that she has worked with other Spider people before, which includes Noir, he did a whole 180 and became a complete dork!

Hobie: Get out, you actually met him! 🤩

Gwen: Uh, yeah?

Hobie: How was he like? What did he say? Did he talk about fascist corruption that not only plagued the system back then but even now as well? Was he super cool during the fight?! 😃🤩💫😻

Gwen: ..........He was nice.

Hobie: That's so rad! ✨️🤟🤩

I also feel like, aside from Miles, Gwen keeps in contact with the other Spider peeps from the first movie and tried to recruit them into the Spider society but obviously Noir and Porker didn't join. Porker because he’s a cartoon that follows "toon logic" and Miguel's ideologies are too serious for his taste. And Noir because, and I quote: "The last I heard of a secret society designed to 'keep the peace for the greater good of humanity at any cost' a whole world war came about it. I know fascism when I see it, kid."

Gwen relays that message to Hobie when explaining why Noir isn't joining and Hobie's response to that is: "He gets it! He just like me fr! 😭💕"

I think it be really cute that in the next movie when they finally meet Hobie is kinda awkward and shy. Like this guy has never respected an adult in his life (at least not any that didn’t deserve the disrespect) and with Noir his all like "Hello sir" "How are you sir" "It's very nice to meet you sir!" And Noir is actually just a really nice guy if a little broody but he's heard so much about this kid from Gwen and how much of a good friend he's been to her so Noir already likes him on principle.

Hobie: Uh Mr. Noir-- Parker, sir! It is such an honor to meet you! The work you do in your universe is amazing and I hope to learn more while working alongside you however briefly.

Noir: Ah, Peter is just fine really, or Noir if it gets to confusing. No need to be so formal, we're all on equal footing here. I've heard a lot about you and your world as well from Gwen. Although it does sadden me that such a young man has to take on the burden of saving the world from such a corrupt society yet again, you're going about it quite well. War is hard and ugly and violent but you are amazingly brave to be able to stand up for what is right in the face of it all. If anybody is honored here it is me, for being able to meet such a remarkable young man like you. And knowing that my friends have made such honorable allies in the midst of all this chaos.

Hobie, externally: Yeah, it's whatevs 😎

Hobie, internally: Dont cry dont cry dont cry dont cry dont cry dont cry dont cry dont cry YOURE GUNNA LOOK SO UNCOOL IF YOU CRY IN FRONT OF HIM NOW 😭💕😭💕😭

I just think it be really cute if they had a wholesome father-son sort of relationship where they shit talk corrupt government systems and punch fascists together. You know, regular father-son bonding!

(Also I think that's another reason Miguel didn't invite Spider Noir to the Spiderverse, cuz he knew that both of these menaces together would cause a bigger headache than its worth 🤣🤣🤣)

[solunstell]

Notes I've taken from Dazai, Chuuya, Age Fifteen

On the cover, it looks liked dazai and chuuya are both balancing on strands of Rimbaud's hair??

In the third full color illustration, chuuya's eyes look brown

Chuuya's hair is described as reddish brown

Dazai saying that he was gonna join a quit the PM and join rival organization. The next paragraph points out that he isn't even a member of the PM lmao

Also, "do you have any idea how much you've put me through this past year?" Like what? I sooooo wanna know abt dazai age 14

Mori and dazai are "bound by a common destiny"

"Dazai showed flashes of brilliance one moment, but the next moment, they were gone. As soon as he seemed to have it all figured out, he'd confuse everyone by talking about his bizarre, meaningless fascination with suicide." Excellent characterization note

Mori can disarm a bomb

"'Why do you want to die?' / Dazai seemed puzzled as he looked back at Mori, like he genuinely didn't understand the question. Then, eyes full of youthful innocence, he responded: / 'Let me ask you something instead: Do you truly believe there's value in living?'

Dazai involving Hirotsu (who he just met) in his self convo by telling him not to use a painful method next time hirotsu plans on killing himself. Hirotsu saying he'll... keep that in mind.

Goodness I need more hirotsu and dazai moments

The fact that Chuuya's kick sends Dazai so far, despite the fact that Chuuya's gravity would disable upon impact, kinda proves my theory that Dazai's ability would not stop the momentum caused by Chuuya's ability in motion. This is later confirmed in another sentence

Chuuya calling dazai kid even though he's the same age

Chuuya and dazais first moment meeting having chuuya laughing :)

Dazai watches his hand being crushed quite easily, despite not liking pain. That's interesting. However, when kicked next, he does react

Hirotsu going 'back in my day I was just like you' lmao

Chuuya calls dazai: a twig, mummy boy, kid, bandages, slimeball

Dazai calls Chuuya: pip-squeak, a fairy, a schoolboy

Chuuya is described as having never lost a fight in his life while talking to Mori. That's interesting cuz he was just captured by the enemy

There's the love confession!

"'If only I'd been in the middle of that [explosion], I would've had a quick and painless death...' / 'Yeah, yeah. I'll beat you to a pulp as many times as you want later, so focus on the mission right now, okay?'"

Dazai acting like a blubbering scared child when caught by the enemy

Chuuya telling dazai to put on hard rock for a fight

Also seems like chuuya's ability no longer affects an object as soon as contact is cut.

"Even Dazai had forgotten to breathe as he watched the storm that was Chuuya decimate the battlefield."

When dazais talking to the dying man: "Dazai's expression was calm, but there was a faint twinkle deep within his eyes. The kind of twinkle a boy who wants to grow up to be a firefighter gets in his eyes when he sees his hero in the flesh."

Actually, the entire paragraph set of Dazai's break is really fascinating

Dazai brings wood for Randou's fire. Also, either he or Chuuya or both cover a draft hole for him.

Mori forbade them from violence to solve their problems, so of course the first fair thing to come to their heads is arcade games

They played close to a hundred matches. Fun date!

Dazai trying to give chuuya head pats

Chuuya is an excellent actor

At the party prep, dazai is playing playing modern pop music

According to chuuya, arahabaki doesn't have a mind or a personality

"The shield protested" dazai is the best shield lol

The boss saying he wishes he could chat abt old times with dazai. What old times? Dazai shouldn't have known him before his death? Unless he did

The mere thought of killing a child breaks rimbauds heart, with the child being dazai, but he's okay with killing chuuya? Rimbaud only sees chuuya as an ability to gain, it seems to me.

Skk calling each other by their first names for the first time (outside of around other people) when working together in a fight against rimbaud

"'Hmph...anything goes when you're a skill user from Europe, huh?'"

Dazai asking abt rimbauds final wishes

Q is put into dazais hands to figure out their ability. Q asks to play, and dazai says when q is older. I am now waiting for this playdate in canon

Also, dazai and mori both not knowing q's gender

Dazai is a cheater at games

The chuuya newsletters

Omg hiiiii verlaine

[am-i-the-asshole-official]

AITA for not breaking up a friendship?

Hi. So me (27F) and my partner (36M) have been together for over 3 years now. Relationship is great and I love him so much, and he loves me back. We start to actually make a living together.

But recently there has been a little conflict. I have a friend (30M, let's call him V) who I have known since I was 13 and him 16, so that's half of my life, and vast majority of my "conscious" life. And my relationship with him is.. well. I know, it will look and sound badly and I don't blame my boyfriend for feeling insecure but also I am not willing to cut V out of my life entirely.

Like I said we've known each other for so long I can't imagine my life without him. We've been saving each other from depression and SA. He used to have problem with d*ugs, I've been there for him and help him get clean and he's free of addiction for almost a decade now. And whenever I had my mental breakdowns he was also always there for me, he knows ways to calm me down when I have panic attacks. We've seen each other at our lowest and pulled ourselves up. We can almost read each other's minds at this point.

V has lived through all of my relationships too, he himself having his own. But our dynamic wasn't fully platonic, we did get close to each other inbetween the relationships and even thought and tried to be together. But we both have very explosive temperaments and felt like it wouldn't work cuz we would eventually hurt each other being this close so we decided not to be together in the awe of it ruining our friendship forever. Nevertheless we do have a history of going back and forth.

For the past couple of years V has lived in Canada, I live in Europe (I'd like not to disclose where exactly). He is also married to a man. (He's bi and so am I so that was one of the things that brought us close) So we rarely actually see each other in person, he does come to visit his son from previous relationship who lives with his mom, once or more a year. V does music for living so that allows him to be more mobile. And everytime he visits it's like no time has passed. We could not see e/o for a full year and then it's like he never left.

Like I mentioned, there has always been some mutual attraction between us, I admit he is a very handsome man but the thought of being with him gives me an ick. I just couldn't handle some of his lifestyle decisions and my current partner with his calmness, caring and purest heart is a true blessing for me. For the first time of my life I feel life this is "it". And V has quite different personality, he's not a bad person or anything but his dynamic is just not what I need from a life partner.

Couple of years back when he was abroad I was in a relationship that turned out to be abusive. I was with this crazy jelaous, controlling, toxic person and we fought almost daily to the point where I wouldn't leave my bed for hours because of anxiety and depressive states. One time the ex went too far with his hands and the tension between us was over the top. We lived together at the time. When I told V what happened he came over once ex was off to work, helped me pack my bags and leave the house and then he stayed with me in his family house for couple of weeks making sure I was ok. He even almost beat up that guy.

My partner was aware of this friendship and even met V once. My past with V wasn't the preffered subject at the dinner table so we didn't speak much about it but he never told me directly I should cut V off or that he doesn't want me to meet him. I'd say he was rather cool, as in cold, about the whole thing.

But recently V told me he is coming back to Europe for longer, claiming he wants to spend more time with his son and try to be a more present dad. I also know that him and his husband have been going through a crisis lately, but V hasn't said anything about separation or divorce.

When I told my partner about V staying in the country for some indefinite amount of time we had an argument. He said he doesn't feel comfortable when V is around me, that he has a very good reason to be mad and that he's hurt I didn't come up with the idea of limiting the friendship. I admit, I got a little carried away and angry. I said he is not the one to decide who can be in my life and who cannot and that I will not allow anyone to control my friendships. As in the mentioned abusive ex-relationship, that was very much the case and I developed some sort of PTSD. My ex was jelaous of me meeting with my family or beeing in the uni classroom and doing project with male friends and wanted me to not have anyone in my life beside him.

My partner then said he feels like he's some sort of a backup in case the relationship fails and that he fears we will end up together either way and that to move forward he needs to be sure he is the number one for me. I love him with all my heart and regarding the thing he said of me and V getting together... I wouldn't want it that way, V and I were very clear about it and talk about it if needed. But I understand my partner feels... abandoned in a way. I love him so much, he means the world to me but I also don't want to lose a friendship so dear and long whom I've been through almost everything together. I've known V for 14 years, my partner and I are together for over 3 and I have had a relationship longer than that already.

Am I the asshole for not pushing V away when my partner asked me to? Would it be the right thing to do?

What are these acronyms?

[whimsi-clown]

POCAHONTAS LIVE REACTION BABEYYY!!!

Note: The last time I watched this movie, I was a wee little babe. So I guess I'll be in for a wild ride.

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Damn, so many people kissing in just one or two scenes. Good for them, I guess, considering they might not see each other again.

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Pfft- Did I just see a background character carrying a pig? I wonder who among the crew owned that pig.

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*John Smith jumps into a stormy ocean to save Thomas.*

"ARE YOU CRAZY!?"

Most relatable line I've ever heard. Thank you, nameless side character.

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"You'd do the same for me"

Nah, man. They wouldn't be able to do acrobatics like you do.

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Damn, the first actual introduction of the villain, Governor Ratcliffe, and the first thing I'm greeted with is the god-awful angle of his nose holes staring back at me.

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Wait a minute, is this dude wearing lavender eyeshadow?? Damn, good for him. Wish I could pull that off.

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Oh damn, I keep forgetting this movie is racist. I remembered it so differently.

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It has very pretty visuals though.

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First intro of Pocahontas and the bitch be smoldering into the distance with the wind flowing through her hair. What a woman.

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Pocahontas: *high dives off a cliff into the water.*

The female best friend of the protagonist: "Show-off"

You took the words right off my mouth, nameless character number 2. Show-off indeed.

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Pfft-

"I especially love his smile"

*Shows character with a serious face.*

Another relatable line.

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Damn, this bitch is absolutely fearless. Just kayaks herself off a raging waterfall and narrowly avoiding the large rocks in her path.

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"Men like Smith, don't they?"

Well, I mean "like" as in admire or "like" as in a gay way? Cuz either way, it's probably a yes.

"I've never been... Popular."

Gee, I wonder why. Also Wiggins is so adorable man. Wtf.

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The way he says "success will be mine at last" is so weird, is it just me?

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Damn, this whole time, I thought the old shaman like person with the chief was an old woman with a really deep voice.

Awkward...

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How many times have I already seen this guy's nostrils? 5, 8 times? Seriously, I like Governor Ratcliffe, but even I'm getting tired of him hautily raising his chin up to show off his second set of eyes.

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Ngl, I kinda like how this girl be slowly creepin' like a graceful spider of sorts while stalking a man.

Wish I could do that without looking stupid and dumb.

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Bruh. Guy loads a flintlock pistol and jumps through a waterfall. How is that thing still loaded? How is it gonna shoot??

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Ok, this bitch has serious plot armor. She just met the guy and heard him speak english a couple of times once, and already she can speak english because she "listened with her heart."

Is that what I have to do in order to understand math now?

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Pfft- I'm getting Avatar vibes from this whole interaction with Pocahontas and John Smith.

The big blue alien Avatar that is.

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Ugghhh. I'm cringing so hard. John Smith is digging his own grave. Stop dissing her people and culture in front of her man. That's so ick.

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Yea gurl! Pop off in musical!! Beat that boy's small minded view in song!!! Eviscerate that man's perception of reality!!!! PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND!!!!!

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Damn, ngl, Ratcliffe is kinda attractive... If he didn't have those weird ass front pigtails constantly on. Like, he wears two ribbon bows for his front hair but leaves the rest of his back hair untied? Is this old rich people fashion??

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AHAHAHAHAH, I'M LAUGHING SO HARD AT THESE MENS REACTIONS. John Smith looking like he just won the crazy award while looking up at a talking tree. And then the two nameless character's facial expressions when they fell to the ground and see the tree roots move. XD

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... I hate to say this, but damn does Ratcliffe have big boobs. Is he secretly wearing a corset under that purple blouse? XD

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Screw John Smith and Pocahontas. Percy and Miko are the real love team here.

Change my mind.

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"I'd rather die tomorrow than live a hundred years without you."

Ok. I hate John Smith, but damn is that not a romantic ass line.

Could have been said better, though.

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Dear god the face he makes when he looks at her and the way he leans into her touch like a man starved.

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I know the Savages song is bad, but like... Why does it sound so good? Why do I like it?? What is wrong with me??? Is it because Ratcliffe is singing it???? Do I like Ratcliffe now????? Man, I need serious help.

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Girls got balls, willing to take a hit for a man. Is this how it actually happens in the real story of Pocahontas? Idk history, man. I'm just vibing.

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Hm. A weird little detail I noticed in Governor Ratcliffe is that his face slowly grows red when he's angry or frustrated, like, the change is subtle enough that you don't notice it until it's there.

...

Why am I paying so much attention to him?

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Damn, girl knows where her priority lies and sticks with her peeps.

Good for her...

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I just noticed I say "Damn" a lot...

Damn...

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Just finished the movie, it was surprisingly ok

...

Welp. Time for Pocahontas 2.

[orangeslikesbread]

yk, I've seen you talk about Jeri x Emma before. I'm afraid that I don't see the potential but I'm very curious to hear about the potential

tbh, i dont remember why or how I started shipping them, I think I just liked the look of them together !!

but now that ive liked them for a while I really like the idea of their potential dynamic !! i think they probably met at camp idontwannabang in middle school (emma was forced to go), and her and jeri became friends, like the rebel girl and shy normie bsf (bad analogy but whtvr). also the fact the both say the line "things in the forest grow fast, and big, and different" (or smth like that I don't remember the exact line) and I think maybe it something they joked about when they were kids bc adults told it to them to try and scare them into being obedient, which emma obviously didn't care about or believe them, but jeri did and emma would laugh at her and call her a wimp (in a silly playful way ofc) and jeri would always try and act tough around her to try and impress her.

but by the time they got into highschool, emma stopped going to the camp and jeri went to sycamore, they didn't really talk anymore (jeri's parents thought emma was a bad influence so they could only really hang out at camp and during school). but jeri would still go to see every school play and musical at hatchetfield high just so she could see emma, but ofc as soon as she turned 18 emma was up and out of town, so eventually jeri forgot about her, they both forgot about each other.

until one day, when they are both adults (jeri is working at the camp and emma is living on her farm), and basically absintence camp happens except jeri survives, so she just runs through the woods, and keeps running until she is stopped by a large farm house blocking her path. she bangs and bangs on the door until (a very high) emma opens the door. they are both a little shaken up because they had practically forgotten about each other (not really, jeri had been thinking about her a lot more recently with all the lil jerry stuff going on, but she didn't know emma had been back in town bc she doesn't really go downtown and she knows beanies is shit so shes never been, and when emma came back into town, all her childhood memories w/ jeri came flooding back and she cant stop thinking about her and she doesn't know why -suprise surprise its cuz shes gay asf-), but nonetheless emma lets her in because she is clearly in distress, she makes jeri some tea or smth and comforts her

sorry i started babbling i just love them sm💗💗(I have so many thoughts abt them)

[photogirl894]

Man, you guys, FanX Comic Con was seriously the greatest! Definitely an experience I'll never forget! 🥰💜 I had so much fun and got to meet some celebrities that I had been so excited to see! A couple of them were some of the best encounters I've ever experienced! I want to share some of the photos I got and tell my favorite parts of the weekend, so I'm gonna put it under the cut cuz it'll probably be long 😅

THURSDAY:

We got there that night and got to see Zachary Levi (Tangled, Shazam) perform his first ever concert, which was freaking amazing! I really hope he continues to do more music cuz he's such a great singer! We got to take pictures with him afterwards cuz we'd bought premium tickets for that. He told me he liked my eye makeup, too 🥰 (He has a black eye cuz he'd fallen and busted his face earlier that day 😫)

FRIDAY:

That was when I wore my Merida cosplay and I had a few people actually ask to take pictures with me, which was sweet 😊 A lot of them, of course, were with some younger girls. I loved it!

Sadly, the Mandalorian armor my husband spent a lot of time making wasn't staying together before we went, so he had to leave it, but he kept the helmet at least! We got a picture of it all together, though. (Though he later admitted it was probably good he didn't wear it cuz he figured he would've died from how hot he would've been in it)

We got photo ops with Ashley Eckstein and Katee Sackhoff, which were pretty cool! They both told me I made an amazing Merida and my husband told Katee "This is the Way" and she said it back 😆

I got an autograph from Jim Cummings and he also recorded a personal voice message for me in both voices of Winnie the Pooh AND Tigger 🥰 (and I'd only asked for Pooh) It seriously made me cry when I listened to it cuz Pooh Bear is my whole childhood and hearing his voice say my name was just amazing! 🥹

Then...this was the best part of the whole day (more like the whole weekend)...I got to meet John Rhys-Davies from Lord of the Rings!! 🥰😆 He's one of my favorite actors of all time (and the reason I wanted to go to FanX in the first place) First of all, we get up to the table, he says hello to me with a big smile, my husband takes his helmet off and John goes, "Oh no, put it back on!" We busted up laughing and he did, too. I gave him my copy of "Fellowship of the Ring" (the book) to sign and I told him how LotR has influenced much of my life and he's one of my favorite actors ever and he said I was very kind. Then, no joke, we go to take the pictures, he puts his arms around us and says, "All right, no fooling around, this is a serious picture" and then proceeded to TICKLE US!!!! 😆😆 He tickled us and then looked down at me as I was laughing and said, "Behave!" It was so unexpected and funny! Then after a minute, he turns to my hubby and says, "Now you, go over there", nudged him to the side and then turned and hugged me! I can't even tell you how happy I was!! 🥹 I told him that made my day and he hugged me even tighter! I'm not even kidding, I don't think any other celebrity encounter will ever top this! It was fun, sweet and funny; everything I wanted and more from the one person I wanted to meet the most! I loved John Rhys-Davies so much before and now, having met him in person, I love him even more now 🥰💜 This was literally a dream come true!!

SATURDAY:

I wore my Bad Batch getup as well as some new Lego Hunter earrings I bought the previous day 🥰

Got to go to the Star Wars panel they had with Daniel Logan, Carey Jones, Katee Sackhoff and Gina Carano and man, they were so fun and funny!

I got in line to ask a question and was literally TWO people away from the front of the line when they had to end the panel 😝 But that was okay cuz my question would've been for Daniel, so I just went to his booth later and asked him there! So I got to meet young Boba Fett himself, too! 😊 I asked him, "How often do you keep in touch with Temeura Morrison?" His answer: "Never. I hate that guy. He stole my character!" 🤣🤣 Then he told me they keep in touch often, Tem is very much his dad and they're probably gonna start doing cons together! "Once I get his ass off the island and back to the States," he added 🤣🤣 He was awesome to talk to and I'm so glad I ended up going to see him, cuz I didn't originally plan to. I was the last one in his line for a little bit, so I got to talk to him for a while. He was so sweet! He also appreciated my Bad Batch outfit, which I knew he would since I know he loves the show! We both agreed we can't wait for season 3! Then his autograph was so nice, too! He took the time to do the drawing for me and even left a kind little message. Then when I went for the picture, he said, "Come here and give me a hug!" 😊 He was absolutely delightful!!

We saw a lot of fun cosplay, got some fun merch and overall, just had an amazing time! I really hope to get to go again next year and I look forward to seeing what celebrity guests they get next time 💜

[ritz-writes]

Get to know me tag game! I was tagged by @celestialcrowley

It's a long post so I'll put a cut here <3

Real Name: [REDACTED]

Nickname(s): [REDACTED]

Nickname Origin(s): [REDACTED]

Sorry, I'm not giving out my irl name </3

Preferred Name(s): Call me Ritz!

Ao3: RitzWrites

Social Media(s): I have a Facebook, TikTok, Instagram, Pillowfort, Twitter. The only ones under Ritz tho are ao3, Twitter, pillowfort, and insta, tho I never use the insta.

State: Won't say the state I currently live in (tho i mightve mentioned it in a post somewhere probably) but I grew up in Texas

Birthdate: May 28

Pet(s): Currently have 7 cats and 1 dog in my house. One cat is specifically mine

Hobbies: Writing, reading, drawing, watching youtube, screaming about my fandoms

Personality: I'm the sunshine character, but I swear a lot. Also if you wrong my friends I feel it personally and will be very angy. I'm very open minded and won't make an opinion on smth until I get all the facts. I want to be friends with everyone but the gods nerfed me with social anxiety ;w;

Favorite Holiday(s): Christmas has always been special to me and give me Nice emotions. Halloween is also good tho.

Favorite Drink(s): Kiddo me would have an aneurysm when she finds out I like vanilla lattes. She swore up and down she'd never like coffee lmao. I also love strawberry milk and sprite.

Favorite Food(s): Pizza, donuts, sirloin, airheads candy, beef stroganoff

Favorite Dessert(s): Cookies and cream ice cream, cookies, brownies

Favorite Color(s): Pink!! I tried changing it when I was younger cuz I didn't want to be the stereotypical girl," but I've always loved pink. Gold is also nice, as well as pastel colors in general.

Favorite Quote(s): "New beginnings are often disguised as painful endings," -Lao Tzu

Favorite Book(s): The Enhanced series by T.C. Edge (I haven't finished reading it tho)

Favorite TV Show(s): Good Omens, Lego Monkie Kid, 2003 Ninja Turtles, Transformers Prime, Batman The Animated Series

Favorite Movie(s): Ocean's 8, Black Panther, The Martian, John Wick

Favorite Character(s): Crowley, Aziraphale, Muriel, MK, Wukong, Macaque, Tang, Jason Todd, Peter Parker, Tony Stark

Favorite Actor(s): David Tennant, Michael Sheen, Tom Holland, Zendaya, Robert Downey Jr.

Favorite Song(s): There's so many, but I'll list a few. Last One Standing by Icon for Hire. Ohio by Bowling for Soup. Rich and the Famous by Good Charlotte. and literally anything by set it off cuz they r my fav band

Favorite Music Genre(s): Pop Punk. Or what some ppl r now calling divorced dad rock

Favorite Podcast(s): I haven't listened to it in a hot minute, but My Brother My Brother and Me

Have You Ever Met A Celebrity: I met some YouTubers at a convention once, but I don't watch the channel anymore

Have You Ever Been To A Concert: Yeah. To see Fall Out Boy. It was outside and I had no water. Was fun tho

Do You Collect Anything: Braincells. I keep losing them tho (no I dont collect anything)

Do You Have Any Idols: Uhhhh I'm not sure. I have ppl I think are cool? I guess you could say my mom is my idol?

Is There A Real Life Friend You Can Completely Be Yourself With: My partner @novelcain <33

What Are Your Interests: Anything I end up hyperfixating on. So right now its Good Omens. Once s5 of Lego Monkie Kid comes out tho, I know that's where my brain will be. I also love graphic design, but I haven't been able to do it in ages.

Where Would You Love To Travel To: Maybe Scotland? Or Italy? I wanna go to Japan some day too.

Is There A Random Fact About Yourself That You’d Like To Share: I have binocular double vision, which means I see two things :) My glasses help a bit with that issue

tags: anyone who wants to do it

[crazycooperbabydoll]

I absolutely LOVE and ADORE Alice and Sheryl, but I've also been in a Rob and Sheri Moon Zombie appreciation mindset here lately. Those two, Rob and Sheri, were my whole damn childhood. I watched the hell out of Rob's movies when I was growing up, especially "House Of 1000 Corpses" (although I wasn't supposed to watch any of them movies back then bc obviously i was a kid lol and my dad caught me a few times watching it cuz my mom had a VHS of it and i would sneak it to my room, eat candy corn, and watch it on my tv 😂 but I would be so damn confused on what the hell was going on in the movie cuz i didn't understand what all was going on in the movie back then.) I also listened to his music a hell of a lot, AND I LOVED IT. My mom would play Rob Zombie music all the time and I would dance all silly and carelessly in the living room, Those are some of my best memories with Rob and Sheri. (I never met Rob and Sheri irl btw but they are still like a huge part of my life in a way, ya know?) Anyway, that's what I wanted to tell you guys incase you were wondering "What's Rob Zombie doing on an Alice Cooper fanpage?" Oh yeah, one more thing, actually... I'll tell you how they are similar. They are both kings of shock rock, they are like the best of friends (like brothers, cuz Rob did say in an interview that Alice was like his big brother and a huge inspiration for his work), they both have gorgeous wives, and they tour together occasionally. So yeah, Rob and Sheri are absolutely welcome anytime on the Alice Cooper fanpage.

[ihatemyselfandwanttodiexxx]

ask and you shall receive. ♡ how about light yagami telling the reader he's kira and introducing them to ryuk? please and thank you! (you can toy around with the idea all you want btw, pick the reader's gender, make it angsty or fluffy or anything else, etc etc. go wild! ♡)

AHHH TYSM

M reader, established relationship, death and stuff cuz no shit

You and Light were walking back to your houses after school, like you did everyday, but something about this time was...odd, like he wanted to say something but didn't say it, you grabbed his hand and said "what's wrong?" Light sighed, and walked you into his house, in his room he sat down at his desk (L isn't here yet) you sat on his bed, anticipation rising he put a pen under his drawer and lifted the bottom out, to reveal a book that said 'Death Note' he handed the book to you, and a disgusting animal showed up in the corner of his room you yelped (perfect response to seeing ryuk) and asked Light "WHAT IS THAT THING?" he responded, "this is Ryuk, he is a shinigami who dropped a death note, a book where if you write someone's name they'll die, I have been killing the scum of the earth to make it a better place for both the hard working and the weak, I am Kira." You just stared at him...shit, did he ruin it, will he need to kill you? The brunette grabbed your hand and said "y/n, you are the best guy I've ever met, you're kind, and have never hurt anyone. Please, stay and let me keep you safe" you jumped to his loving embrace, sure he could just be using you but you want to see how this goes, you aren't as weak as he thinks you are you play dumb around everyone so they don't know what you're capable of. This would be fun.

I LOVED WRITING THIS also Rammstein is good, separate music from the artist bro.

[windsongs2]

So because my ex-boyfriend and I were together almost 8 years I am slowly shutting him down

I'm giving him a chance to realize that he was loving my life and I was a love of his life

and damn it if he really loves me like he said he does she better do something fast to prove to me that he wants me

I told his sister that I was on a dating site online which is true in hopes that she would casually mention it to him and tell him if he really love her you do something to win her back cuz you don't you're not going to get her

Now you're probably all saying "Wait a minute didn't he abuse you?"

Yes and no...

He had not slept well for five nights before this he had insomnia.

And I try to put him in a better mood by jokingly flipping the blanket at him.

I did not take into account that he hadn't slept well like 2 hours a night I should have thought about that I should have just left him alone I admit it I was wrong

But like I told him you should have used your words you should have said stop Don't do that not now I'm too tired blah blah blah

In other words it borders on abuse but there were circumstances that probably made it not really abuse

But I'm not letting him off the hook I want him to know what he did was wrong

You said them break me not to do this let him leave you said he loved me My reply was people who love each other don't do what you did

He said he was sorry a couple times yeah okay maybe he was sorry but my daddy always said Do not take the first two sorrys from a guy, cuz they're just trying to make it go away.

and since I always listen to my dad I'm not taking it.

Unless not forget he called me a bitch and he did not apologize for that at all I'm not a bitch at all.

Then he called me damaged goods,

I'm sorry I've been abused in my marriage for 26 years I was abused I'm not damaged I will not go around my ex-husband anymore I will not have anything to do with him I don't care he tells me he's sorry sorry sorry 20 million times I close the book on that.

I'm stronger I didn't go weak I went strong damage goods?

no I'm not

There are a lot of things that I loved about him My ex-boyfriend.

but no marriage no relationship is perfect every relationship every marriage has flaws and I guarantee you there are things that hurt people in their relationships and marriages no one's perfect no couple is perfect you just have to figure out what you can take and what you can't take

Would I like him back Yes he made me laugh I was happy and when he got too much with his anxieties I went on trips not long just like day trips I never cheated on him never I wouldn't do that to anyone I'm a very low person but to go stress out I have to drive it's better than killing someone better than hurting someone better than taking drugs drinking whatever.

my vice is driving shoot me

My birthday is coming up on October 17th on October 18th I will block him if he has not communicated to me unless you still cares we broke up on August 20th .

I figure that is long enough for him to realize he better do something to win me back.

On October 18th I will block him from my Facebook profile I already defriended him and I left a lot of music about love caring etc

I took everything down that I made public on my Facebook profile yesterday I'm slowly having him fade away.

There are two guys who I am interested in on the dating site and we chatted many times One of them I even met in person He's really nice too The other guy I've been chatting with for about 4 days He's nice also

On October 18th I will choose which one I want also to date.

And want some in a relationship with one of these guys I will make it public on my Facebook profile that I'm in a relationship so my ex-boyfriend can see it.

He should of made a move to get me back. If he really loves me like he said he did, It will hurt him I don't want to hurt him I just want to be happy I want to be love I want to have a relationship I want to get married again is that so bad for me to want this?

I told his sister that I really loved him I told her probably would forgive him cuz I knew the recircumstances that didn't quite make it abuse.

Really I am hoping that she'll talk to him saying you know Patty talked to me I want to say exactly what she says but she loves you and all you do is prove to your heart that you love her but don't wait too long because she's on a dating site and some of the guy might take her away from you Don't think about it to long

That is if he really loved me.

I mean it was 8 years I was with him and he was with me who would stay in a relationship like that if you didn't really love the person I wouldn't I must really loved him

But I'm leaving it up to God I can pray I said Lord if he's the one then let him come back to me let him show me

[allthewelps]

Promise

August 6, 2024 11:59PM

Jesus it's been a while since I posted. 2019? Didn't even know how good we had it. No pandemic. No global crisis what seems to be every two-ish months? But this isn't about that. This is about me.

I graduated! Only took 10 years. (on and off, not accumalative. but college journey took from 2012-2024. wait thats 12 years? well shit.)

Took a speech class cuz transfers dont always transfer your credits. I used it as more of a poetry class. Here's something I wrote for it.

------------------

I am a failure. In about one year's time, I will be getting my bachelor's degree in business administration. This would be considered a success by many people, but what they don't know is that it took me 10 years to achieve it.

I am a failure. I showed great talent. my mentors told me I showed promise of great musician. I have even achieved the great honor to audition to the Juilliard School of Music. I have not practiced an instrument in 3 years.

I am a failure. My own self-doubt had me give up on many things that were possible. I kept lying to myself, saying that I will make it through Though I didn’t try to make a change

I am a failure. I have broken friendships and bonds that were considered lifelong. But looking within, I find that those bonds had to be broken if I wanted to break free from the chains of past.

I am a failure. I prioritized work over study but because of that I was able to discover something inside me. The understanding that experience is not just some buzz word. But something of real value

I am a failure. But by failing in all aspects of life, I now know how to pick myself up. I have the experience to know how to look forward.

I am a failure. But what is success without failure? Because I have failed, I know what it is like to struggle I now know how to avoid struggle.

I am a failure. I realized I was waiting for a miracle. For success to be handed to me on a silver platter. That success was supposed to be easy.

I am a failure. I would not be the person I am today without my failures. I no longer let my failure define me. I reflected. I changed. I began to try.

I am a failure. By now I have said that word so many times that it has become numb. That is what failure felt like to me. I grew accustomed to it.

I am a failure. It has taken me a long time to change my failures into lessons. Before my biggest fear was failure. Now, failure is just part of the process to success

I am a failure. I hope that I have said failure so many times that it has become numb to you too. Know that success without failure is just luck.

I am proud to be a failure. Without it, there would be no reason for success.

------------------

Pretty hot, huh. I guess I still got my writing chops.

Finally figured out what I want to do with my life. The end goal is to be a community manager. In a nerd space, I'm not picky. Table top, video games, esports. Anywhere I could grow and maintain a healthy community. I'm currently a community organizer! For D&D! I've met so many wonderful people here in LA because of that game. Some great friends that I truly thought I would never make.

There's also been my dating life. Which is... Not so great? I've dated a handful of girls here. All of them ending with no contact. Except one. Girl named Rain. We still have feelings for each other even though we stopped dating each other for many reason. Maybe I'll update this blog with that. Maybe 6 years later.

Things are looking good for me. All the seeds have finally sprouted. Los Angeles, did in fact, take care of me. I hope it continues to do so.

There's color in my nights now.

[notebookmusical]

Hi!! I know it's been a few days but how was the movie and crowd for you? What did you think? I hope you had so much fun! I saw your outfit in the pic you posted and it looked cute. How was it seeing the second time compared to the first? Did people like your bracelets? I really admire your craftiness and creativity cuz that is so not me but I wish I could be and I'm not that good at journaling either. But I agree it would probably be a good way to meet people. That's so nice and thoughtful to make some for your friends in other countries. I forgot to ask you how your last concert was..to see Renee Rapp so how was it? Her album is on my list and also am planning to listen to Holly Humberstone's album sometime this week. What do you think of her being in the Mean Girls movie or the movie in general? The musical is okay to me but the movie is just so iconic.

Those are a lot of my favorites too! Specifically Mirrorball, Cardigan, Daylight, You're on your own kid, Mastermind and Nothing New and Forever Winter! There wasn't really a crowd at my show..and probably less than 10 people..there was us and another group and maybe two more people and we all sat different spots in the theater, and we had our own space..so it was like watching it at home in a way lol which is fine. I already experienced the crowd at the actual show. What were your favorite parts of the movie?

I just told her that you love Taylor and theater/Broadway and you were named after Cosette. I hope so too..I will update you if or when we end up going. Ya that's what I thought about Cancers..I don't really know much about what moon signs actually mean so maybe I'll look more into it. I'm not a huge birthday person either and maybe it's cuz I'm a twin but I've always liked sharing my birthday. We usually make M&M and chocolate chip cookies.

That's so cool and must have been a great experience! I've never met an online friend before and have a hard time making actual online friends. I mostly just send anons to people but don't usually share things about myself online or have someone call me a specific anon or anything so it's sweet that you did. I only have a short list of places I wanna travel to and I haven't been a lot of places so I don't have much to add.

Okay I'll keep that in mind. The only thing I know about it is was the so haunt me then quote which intrigued me and the Kate Bush song lol. I did start reading Little Women at one point but then I just watched the movie lol. I am also just not very good with classics in general though. I wanna try finishing my other book this week if I can so next week works for me and I'll try to keep up as much as I can. I hope you have a wonderful week!!!

hi hi! i really loved it! i saw it on friday with one of my best friends and it was really fun — i was able to trade some bracelets in the parking lot / by concessions / inside, and the vibes were really chill! there were a few people singing and dancing but the way our cinemas are sloped/tiered meant it didn't block people's views (i was also in the back row)! no one really did the chants though, which i was surprised by? and then on sunday i went with my mom and i didn't really trade bracelets ( gave a bunch to the cinemark employees though! ) because the vibes were ... different! but people on sunday were a lot more ... enthusiastic! all the chants, dancing, etc! my mom had fun though; she turned to me as we were leaving and asked if i'd want to go see the movie again with her which was really cute 🥺! people were really nice about my bracelets; a girl i traded with on friday told me later that evening that my bracelet was her favorite one she got that night and it made my day! the renee rapp show was fine — i was really on the fence on if i still wanted to go, honestly, but am glad i went ultimately! i didn't love her album as much as i did her EP, and i think that she's so so talented vocally but the way her music is produced doesn't always let her vocals shine, if that makes sense? a lot of people near me were a little ... 😵‍💫 though in terms of concert etiquette! i hope you like holly's album; i've been listening to that a lot since it came out (and finally got around to listening to the new boygenius last night). the mean girls musical is fun; i've never seen it live (i had tickets to see taylor louderman's second to last show but was ... hungover ... and ended up selling my ticket to a friend haha) but i think it could've been better/stronger! i was really excited for it, because i love what they did with legally blonde but was disappointed with some of the score for mean girls. a small part of me was hoping that sabrina would reprise her role as cady, because i really like what i heard of her cady, and was sad her time as cady got cut short!

wow!! that's not a lot of people! it was pretty packed at both showings, but i actually got tickets to see it on 10/27 with my mom again, and so far, it's just us and one other person in that cinema! i really liked this movie (incredibly salty about things that got cut though), but i got a little motion sick at some of the shots. but i get motion sick easily, so that's more on me haha! i got really really sad/emotional during specific scenes and was thinking a lot about seeing it in person and the memories i made during my shows. i think my favorite parts were really just seeing how my mom and my best friend reacted to different things (i made my mom watch the entire thing on youtube a few months ago & it was my best friend's first time watching it)! i think my favorite eras sets are still fearless, speak now and folklore though, but they're all just so good! what about you?

that sounds so fun! do you bake a lot? i used to really like baking but haven't baked as much lately (but i do love baking cakes and oatmeal raisin cookies)!

i have met quite a few online friends — and have been incredibly lucky to do so! actually, three of the girlies i saw eras with were online friends who are super dear to my heart!! and we're online friends 🥰 ! we've been online friends before i knew your name!! i always love chatting with you; i think our back and forth long ask/answer conversations are so fun!

i read the appeal and the twyford code yesterday (both by janice hallett) and they were very very clever! i've got a busy week ahead, but am hoping to finish listening to curious tides on audiobook, and maybe some other books i'm in the middle of, and then am excited for our upcoming buddy read!!! hope you're having a good tuesday & a good week!

[cloudynoxx]

romantic love is a hard sell for me but nobody talks about platonic soulmates so i'm gonna vent about this guy i ment like a month ago and i feel like i've known him my whole life 💅

so i started at this new school that's part time at home so i go like twice a week, and this is his first year too and we didn't even meet until like the 3rd week but we had one convo about metal music and then i sent him a spotify blend and when i tell we have talked EVERY SINGLE DAY SINCE. i can't man. i mean seriously there's not like romantic interest but idk if i've ever felt so comfortable and myself around someone. one of my older brothers passed the day i met him and i found out 2 days later, and even tho it took me some time to tell him he's been nothing but comforting and totally respecting my boundaries without it having to come up. this weekend i'm out of state for his funeral and won't make it back for school this week and he's like "bestie i miss you" and "i miss talking to you irl" and honestly nobody in my life has made me feel as important and valued by just talking to me; he texted me to ask how my flight was and how i was feeling and offered to help with my history homework so i would feel less overwhelmed. he's just nice to me in general and like a week ago he told me he was gonna get me used to kindness (cuz self worth issues yk messes up my whole life) and when i tell you i actually c r i e d. like dude i can't i don't deserve you. ｡⁠:ﾟ⁠(⁠;⁠´⁠∩⁠`⁠;⁠)ﾟ⁠:⁠｡

what's most heartbreaking to me is the fact that he's so nervous about being annoyed or coming across as mean just because of some pricks at his old school, and he has no reason to because i've never felt so comfortable and wanted around someone, even tho i've known him for like 3 or smth weeks. he also told me that he's still got this habit of curling in his fingers to hide when he paints his nails because he's worried people would still rag on him for it, and it just hurts me because like- bestie black nail polish looks so good on you 😭 i just hate that people and the world had such a negative affect on someone who's had such a positive impact on my life in even the little time i've known him.

anyway that's on me counting the little blessings in my life as they come, regardless of their form <3

[seokwoosmole]

Ok about this Wooyoung fancall thing it's exactly why fancalls need to be abolished, or at least have stricter rules for what can and cannot be said/done. I've never won one nor is my luck or financial situation good enough to ever win one, but I love that they exist for other fans who are able to win them. And it's fun living vicariously through them! I love it when fans repost screen recordings of their calls in which they talk about how proud they are of the idol they're talking to or when the idols seem really comfortable and have funny convos with the fans. Because that is what these calls are for!! For the idol to get in touch with fans and have a good time talking with them even if it's only for a couple minutes. Ok really they're about forcing people to buy dozens and dozens of albums to skyrocket sales cuz it's an effective marketing tactic but that's a convo for another day. Those couple minutes should be a happy experience for both the fan and the idol. They shouldn't be used for fans to trauma dump on idols; they're not your therapist or your friend or family member – no matter how much you love them and they love you, they're still strangers and that love that exists between artist and fan is not to the extent of sharing personal trauma. If it's not something you would be comfortable sharing with a stranger or even mild acquaintance in public, don't share it with your idols. Especially on a fancall knowing that after your 2 minutes, they have to do many more of them, interacting with a bunch of fans and other people. They already have the pressure of being expected to act happy and pleasant during the entire call even if they are tired or upset and genuinely don't feel that way – don't add to that pressure by telling them about a traumatic experience even if it was to tell them that they were the ones that got you through it. Can you imagine how overwhelming it must be to hear someone you've likely never met tell you something like that, implying that their personal happiness/inner strength is dependent on your existence? My heart goes out to the atiny on the call and I hope they are doing well and can find closure and happiness. I'm not saying this to hate on them or blame them. The industry that enables and encourages this level of intimacy and closeness between fans and idols is to blame, and this type of situation is just an example of someone following the toxic standard that's been set. I'm sure many other fans also feel indebted to their idols for giving them a happy escape from scary/bad things happening in their personal life and it's natural to feel that way and natural to want to let your faves know how much they've helped you. But just saying "I went through a really difficult and dark time in my life and I want to thank you because you and your music gave me a lot of strength and helped me get through it" in more or less words is still a meaningful and effective way to get your point across without going into such detail sharing information that you don't know if a person might find triggering or upsetting. Everyone should be allowed to share and heal from their trauma and acknowledge the people that helped them overcome it. But idol fancalls are not the time/place to do so to that extent. And the fact that no explicit rules have been created to prevent these kinds of situation from happening just goes to show how the industry/entertainment companies care more about profit than people. Because if they didn't, they wouldn't have let the boundaries between idols and fans fade so much to the point where this kind of environment can be fostered.

[nowheretobefound101]

I Will Find You

A one-shot story dedicated to humanity who suffers fear and pure sadness because of the unacceptable truth about death.

I know how you admire this place so much. A place where you always pick up your fresh daisies and collect it in your handwoven basket. This flower field of yours is where our story began and I still remember the scent of freshly picked flowers all over your dress and hair, and also, your signature smile that never fails to enlighten my days after it.

Right now, at this moment, you give me this nostalgia just like back in the day I first met you.

I was just roaming around in this unfamiliar place until I got lost in the middle of your flower field. I am just moved in at my grandparents' house at that time, and I decided to sneak out of the house for a while to find out if something is amusing in this place. I continue strolling around until I saw you, gracefully sitting on the ground filled with daisies, sweetly humming a calm melody, and your hair flows smoothly with the air that also gave off its a vivid color like it kisses the sun.

I silently walked towards you and crouched in front of you. As you opened your eyes, I saw a great shocked in your face.

"AHHH!! WHO ARE YOU!? DON'T MAKE A MOVE." You screamed as if I will gonna rob you.

"Ohh, My bad for scaring you, I'm lost." I said.

"Your name's lost? I think your parents' had a bad taste." She giggled as she fixed her dress.

"No, I... I mean, I am literally 'lost',and Jack is my name!" I corrected.

"I'm just kidding! By the way, I'm Elsa. I see that your are the newcomer that your grandma told me for a couple of days ago." She said.

"Okay, so my grandma never runs out of stories to tell huh. But, please, I just want to go home right now 'cuz I just sneaked out in fixing my stuffs."

"So someone's getting trouble later!" She teased.

"C'mon, just help me!" I pleaded.

"Calm down you sneaky ones, I'll help you, okay, but first, help me to pick these daisies for your grandma. And yeah, if you wanted a place for yourself you can just freely visit my flower field."

"Thank you for your warm welcoming, Elsa." I said.

After we picked up those daisies for my grandma, she guided and walked me home. I never imagine that my grandparents are really closed to her. I thought that they'll gonna sermon me, instead, they were both glad and shocked that I already known Elsa.

And also, I found out where my grandma, who is so fond of daisies, came from.

Every afternoon, we are always staying on our spot in your flower field. We eat, laugh, tell some stories, collect some flowers to be sold on the market, music jamming, and even ending up taking a nice nap wherein sometimes, grandma will gonna wake us up if she minded to visit the place.

Days... Months... To years. Two people who begin and meet up as strangers, and now, I can't believe that you are my fiance.

But, Is this a right choice?

I keep regretting myself, every day along with our joys and love, not telling you the real reason why I moved with my grandparents. You only knew that I moved because I don't have parents anymore. I also told my grandparents for a long time ago to keep my secret hidden from the world I know.

I agreed to live for the rest of my years with my grandparents, hide until it ended because of my terrible fate, yet, everything changes until you came into my hopeless life. It is all coincidental and you never failed to enlighten me. Honestly, I failed too many times in love but you are something unique and special that I've never seen to anyone.

You are the only one who enlightened my hopeless heart and soul.

And the day I feared came as I passed out in the middle of the fields while we are happily collecting some daisies. That moment, my sight slowly turns blurry and I can't even feel my body anymore. As I fell through the grounds, I saw the daisies burst out in the mid-air, suddenly, I heard your voice repeatedly calling my name... calling some help, until everything went pitch black.

As I woke up, I feel so weak, I am not even aware of what day it is, and I am just catching up on my breath. I tried to look around and I saw you, sitting beside my bed and sleeping as your head placed to your arms down to my bed, I want to call your name, but, I really can't. Luckily, you noticed me awake as you feel me moved my hands to yours. You quickly stand up and sit in front of me, you planned to call my grandparents but I stopped you because I want to let you know all my regrets before my time ends.

"Elsa, I am begging you, just listen to me."

"What is it Jack, I'm here and I can hear you." I see into your eyes how worried you are and feel it on how you pressed my hands.

"I am sorry if I'd never confessed to you about this unknown disease that makes me weaker every single day. I moved to my grandparents to hide my terrible and undesirable fate to all as I wanted to shut myself out from anyone. Yet, you came into my life. I don't blame it okay, honestly, I am glad that I met you. I know from the start that I can't keep this from you forever but I just don't want to see you and my grandparents burden the pains when I left. I'm so sorry, Elsa. I am really sorry."

"Hush, my darling and just take a deep breath. I knew it already, as I observed how clumsy you are, as to how you see the world around you, as to how those medicines were in your pockets... I knew it already, Jack. When you were carried here by our fellow villagers, your grandparents also talked to me about this and on how you shut yourself so you can't see anyone suffers. Jack, I am also glad that you are the only person who showed me the beauty of falling in love, you also gave colors to my world, and you also enlighten me to appreciate the world. You had done nothing wrong." She confessed.

"If this is the time for you to take your rest... It's okay, Jack. Don't worry too much about us." She added.

"Uhm... Elsa... Ca... Can I ask you something?" I weakly said to her. I am trying my best to catch up on some air as I still can.

"What is it?" She answered.

" I know we can't stop the time, dear. I'm sincerely sorry, but, I... I just wish to see you, smiling in front of me for the last time because this is the only thing, my last memorabilia of you, that I can take for my departure. I... I know it's hard for you to--"

You stopped me as you placed your hands on my cheeks and rubbing my tears that flow in my face. I weakly smiled at you as I felt the your gentle hands for the last time.

"I'll smile for you even you don't request it from me." She answered.

As she smiled, she can't control herself from her overflowing emotions of pain and sadness as I see her cry at the same time.

I see my grandparents for the last time trying to not interrupting us. They are just silently standing, and peeking and listening through a small gap in the door. She didn't notice them as she continuously cries out.

"It's okay to cry, Elsa." I said. I just hope that I can wipe her tears back. "Thank you for making me happy within my limited time. I'm sorry if I need to leave you so suddenly. I love you as I will be waiting for you in our next lives." I smiled, yet, everything surrounds me faded little-by-little.

"I love you 'till we meet again. Sleep now, Jack." And this is the last thing I heard.

Elsa cried so hard after I left and my grandparents open the door and approach her. Then, the room is just filled with their mourns and tears around my dead body.

Days turn to weeks that passed away quickly... I can't even tell you that my soul is still wandering around in this world because I was told to finish my last mission.

From the first, it made my mind discombobulated until I see your name flash within my memory.

"You are my last mission." I told to myself.

Even though you can't see, feel, or hear me anymore, I can still able to guide you throughout your sufferings. My soul's still alive to finish my last mission because you are still believing in me.

But history repeats itself, and now, I see myself to you who shut yourself to everyone. I can only sense your agonies, fears, and sadness all over the room. My grandparents always checked you in your home, yet, you always said that "You're fine. Just leave me alone."

What should I do? I want to accomplish this mission, but how?

I remembered that you have a sister who lives in the near village with her husband. I tried to find her, however, I still don't know what will should I do.

When night came, I planned if I can able to write and luckily I have enough strength as a soul to do it. While your sister and her husband sleeping, I tried to write a short letter that I hope it may help you.

Days later, your sister saw your letter and visit you again. She opens and enters your cabin, removed and placed her winter coat into the rack behind the door, and she goes straight to your room.

She knocks on your door but you didn't answered. She called,

"Elsa, please I know you're in there

People are asking where you've been

They say, 'have courage' and I'm trying to,

I'm right out here for you

Just let me in."

But still, you have no response.

Anna calls you for another time,

" We only have each other

It's just you and me

What are we gonna do?"

And you suddenly opened your door and let your sister enter. Both of you stand beside your window that is full of daisies. You still don't make any response and Anna seems so worried about you. But, as the moment you pick up a daisy, Anna blurted out in her soft comforting voice, "Do you want to build a snowman?" After you hear it out clearly, you cried out in front of her.

I see, You made to let out your emotions again after I left at the beginning of winter.

Tears just suddenly flow down from your eyes and your sister continues to comfort you.

"Elsa, shutting yourself and burdening it by yourself is not what Jack wanted for you right? Yesterday, I found a piece of paper hidden in our picture. Do you wanna read it. Here, take this." Anna slipped out a paper and held it to Elsa.

Elsa read it loudly that the two of them can hear...

"Love can heal a frozen heart. Both of your hearts were like your daisies: Pure, innocent, and there it lies your true love. If you had read this, remember that when you feel lost through your darkness, let your daisies enlighten you towards your true love.

P.S. I will get mad if you forget how to smile :)

Anna, protect her from me okay. I'm sorry if I can't give you some chocolates this time."

"Jack's really full of fun and suprises." Elsa giggles.

"Finally, you smiled again, I hope he can see you smile like that again." Anna frankly said.

"C'mon, I know that whenever he is, he always gonna see this smile of mine." Elsa said.

"So, do you want to build a snowman, the flower fields seems to be filled up with snow." Anna joyfully asked.

"If you insisted. Thank you, Anna." And she hugged her sister so tight and Anna also hugged her back.

Anna suddenly holds Elsa's hand and rushed out because of her excitement, they run straight to the fields and dive mountains mountain of snow.

I watched you played with your sister and build a snowman, I also tried to join your fun the last time. So, I scoop a pile of snow and form some snowballs. At first, I hit you, and it was so fun that you blame Anna just like before when I still have my body. Then, I hit your sister next that makes her revenge and rained you with her snowballs.

Finally, you set me free and I also set you free.

I know you can sense me even you can't see me anymore...

For the last time, I just wanna say thank you for believing in me for no matter what reasons, and, for now, before I take step to eternity, I want you to know that I promised myself that you are the only person I'll find and love you again through our next lives, see you soon.

"I will also find you, Jack. You are the only man that I will love again in our next lives. Thank you and see you soon." You whispered and tears started to fall to you.

Did you really reply to me, Elsa? No, it must be a coincidence.

"I can sense you there like a friend I've always known. Show yourself, I'm no longer trembling." You opened your eyes and started to see me like a dream.

I come close to you and place my head into yours.

"I see, you still believe in me no matter what." I whispered to her.

"Yes, Jack. Until eternity. Can I feel you for the last time?"

"Yes, you may, Elsa. I love you."

"I love you too." You smiled as you closed your eyes and cry.

Once I closed my eyes, I cried and at the same time I feel my soul fades little-by-little.

And for the last time, I see your smile from the day I first encountered you.

Because it is the only smile that enlightened me out of my darkness.

See you soon. I will find and love you again to our next lives.