#and also I love making people cringe in pain XD

[setsuntamew]

I UPGRADED MY COMPUTER THIS WEEKEND!!!!!!

I first built it in June 2016 on a tight budget (thx to my ancient laptop shitting the bed very suddenly), and I told myself that I would upgrade it when I had more money/as necessary.

Anyway, this is the first time I've bought anything new for it XD The only "upgrade" was technically a downgrade; a power surge fried my original motherboard and, luckily, a friend had an old one that he gave me for free.

BUT NOW I AM RUNNING SOMETHING EVEN MORE BEAUTIFUL THAN I EVER IMAGINED!!!!!!! I caught a really good sale at Micro Center and was able to upgrade from an i5 CPU to an i9, as well as getting a MUCH nicer motherboard and more RAM. It's slick as hell and super fast and.....

And you KNOW it didn't go together as smoothly as the first time!!!!!!!

The big con is that I finally had to say goodbye to Windows 7 ;w; It's not compatible with some of the newer hardware I got, so...I had to upgrade to Windows 10. Which is like, fine, but I'm gonna miss 7 a lot. sobs.

Anyway, it was a weekend long expedition and I'm still working on getting my files transferred over to my new hard drive, but overall it's really great!!! I love it *w*

[leserattevirginie]

Crown of Shadows by C.S. Friedman

Genre: Sci-Fantasy Star Rating: 4,25 ⭐️

Plot: ⬜️ Plot holes big enough for a herd of elephants ⬜️ I think I’ve read this before. (Unoriginal to the max.) ⬜️ No plot, just vibes ⬜️ Enjoyable but not super memorable. ✅ You have my undivided attention. ⬜️ Mind = Blown

Characters: ⬜️ Mary Sue is in the house! ⬜️ These are cardboard cut-outs. ⬜️ Good main cast, but the rest is forgettable at best. ⬜️ Generally well written. ✅ Complex ⬜️ What do you mean characters? These feel like real people!

Personal Enjoyment: ⬜️ DNF ⬜️ Somebody free me from this hell (but also no, I won’t DNF) ⬜️ WTF did I just read??? ⬜️ I don’t like it, but I also don’t hate it. ⬜️ It’s a good book but I just never want to pick it back up. ⬜️ No strong feelings either way. ⬜️ Enjoyable read ✅ What a page turner! This is fun! ⬜️ I think I’m in love ⬜️ (new) all time favourite

World Building: ⬜️ This takes place in our world. ⬜️ Worldbuilding what worldbuilding? ⬜️ This feels like a TV set. ⬜️ Not super deep, but present. ✅ Detailed, believable. ⬜️ You bet every single ant has its own 100 page backstory!

Pacing: ⬜️ drags/is rushed in all the wrong places ⬜️ Inconsistent ⬜️ something undefinable feels off ⬜️ I don’t love it it but it fits the book perfectly. ✅ Good/no complaints ⬜️ Amazing! Could not put this down!

Writing: ⬜️ This is painful ⬜️ I’m cringing ⬜️ Not great, but not bad either. ⬜️ Neutral (Didn’t really notice.) ✅ Elegant but not overly flowery. ⬜️ So beautiful I actually stopped and noticed it. ⬜️ I’m not sure if this is just a bad translation. ⬜️ I’m not confident enough in my language skills for this language to comment on the quality of the writing.

Wow, I can't believe I've finished the series this fast! That alone says a lot about how much I liked it :) As usual, here's a bunch of rambly thoughts:

For the most part I feel like I did about the other two books - plot is fine but character work and world building take the cake. The plot was still fairly straight-forward, but I will say that it was a bit more complex with the dual plot-lines. A bit I don't think I've mentioned before that I love: due to the set up we get sorcery and sword type stuff but also tourism, instant soup, insurance companies, etc. (Did I imagine the aspirin?) The mix between modern and old timey things is great!

Unfortunately I also still feel the same about the treatment of women within the series. Sure, the argument could be made that maybe it's just Damien who's a bit misogynistic in his POV, and Gerald is just generally The Most Terrible Person ™ around, but it still doesn't sit right with me. Especially since we start the book with Gerald's lunch committing suicide. Was that weird bit about Damien's landlady necessary? Was there no other way to explain how Iezu perceive the world other than "Holy shit can you believe that middle aged lady dares to think of herself as attractive, lol what a hag" ?? But hey, Narilka is still alive! I suppose if you exist to redeem the Gerald clone you get to live. (I can't believe I forgot poor Almea in my last rant. The fridging that started it all! ...is it still fridging if the man murders her himself??)

As for the plot lines, on one hand I really, really enjoyed getting more POVs! ...maybe just not the ones we actually got xD The patriarch was probably my favourite, even if almost every second I spent inside his head was incredibly frustrating. Some of that may be due to Calesta's influence, but for the most part it's probably just him being the fantasy-pope. There's a reason I left the church xD That being said, I appreciate that he actually whole-heartedly believes what he is preaching. The thing that confuses me the most about the church is its stance on working the fae. As I understood it, it was designed to focus the fae, making it a bit less dangrous for the general population. And also providing humanity with the concentrated power of the beliefs and faith of thousands if not millions, which could eventually be used for space travel. (Or something in that vein.) Anyway, I thought it was very clear that they are still manipulating the fae, just on an enormous scale, and disapproved of private sorcery. But at times it kind of felt like the patriarch sort of forgot that (or deliberately repressed it?). All those "no, this isn't witchcraft, this is a miracle from God!" moments felt so odd because - of course its the same thing? You literally created your God yourselves by those exact same means??? Oh well, church is hypocritical, fork found in kitchen.

Andrys and Narilka I actually liked well enough, as long as they weren't on page together. Or thinking about each other. Actually, scratch that. I liked Narilka when she wasn't being compared to teacups or dolls! But then she had to fall in love with Andrys after talking to him...twice? Andrys... I mean he was there and relevant to the plot. I do feel bad for him, but there wasn't really that much to him other than (admittedly horrific) trauma and an uncanny resemblance to his great-great ....-great grandpa. And drugs to cope with all of that. Small pet peeve: the nickname Andri. WHY. You're literally just taking of one letter (and changing the other because....aesthetics??)

On to more enjoyable ramblings!!! The Damien-Gerlad dynamic in this book was just *chef's kiss* You can't just hit me with the "You changed me" speech that early in the book, I was not prepared xD The many ways in which we see the depth of their...friendship... were just sweet (especially post-hell), and such a contrast to the first book! (Well, Damien still tells us constantly how hot Gerald is, that hasn't changed at all xD My dude literally described his very platonic bestie as "aesthetic perfection". A few pages after Karril rerminds us of how very straight he is, of course.) Now maybe at this point my rose coloured shipper glasses are just glued to my face, but that moment when he tried to explain how Almea supposedly feels also slightly came across as him projecting just a bit. (Gerald is right, Almea (or the Almea-thing) has every right to be pissed, honestly she should have shown up with ghostly divorce papers. Or maybe Damien was right and she just wanted to see him jump into a volcano for a good cause, who knows.) There are some things I would have loved to see more of: - the mental link between Damien and Gerald was criminally under-used, imo. Did it change Damien physically somehow, since Gerald no longer felt cold to him? Is he now part vampire for ever xD (And dear god that whole bit about taking the Hunter into his body, whyyy xDD) - honestly I would have loved to see Gerald readjusting to being human (and being incredibly annoyed about it) a bit more. It's been 900+ years, surely there's stuff he's forgotten? I mean he spent the vast majority of his life being the stuff of nightmares! - Gerald honestly wanting and trying to redeem himself (sure, he was ready to sacrifice himself in the end, but it kind of struck me as a last minute decision. And you can't tell me being the first to kill a Iezu and saving the world didn't also appeal to his ego). But I get that that would take another 10 books, minimum

Damiens break with the church was a long time coming, and handled well, I think. Oddly enough, priest never struck me as a job that you can just quit.

I just remembered about Gerald's apprentice (Amoril?). What an idiot. I would have loved to know how he came to be the Hunter's apprentice though. Can you apply for scolarships? Anyway, trashing a library is unforgivable in my book ;)

Oh, and Hell! Hell was surprisingly meh to me, but I did appreciate the insight into how the Iezu operate (which was probable the main point of that scene anyway). Love that Damien could just reason with the literal devil. (But the concept of the Devil as a non-unified entity was actually cool though). How did it take Damien so long to understand what the mountain of dead women could possibly be. Neither he nor the reader are stupid enough not to get it. Friedman usually doesn't hold our hand and over explains in the series, why start now?? Shock factor? I doubt anyone cared enough about Sisa? Sasi? for that to work.

OK I promise I'm coming to an end soon but guys. Guys. The epilogue. The freaking epilogue. What a trip that was xDDD 1) The Wedding. Karril POV was... certainly something! We now officially know that not only women find Andrys attractive. (Take that, Damien "idk, he's probably attractive to women but also aesthetic perfection" Vryce. Did I need to know about potential Iezu sex that only benefits the (currently presenting as) male partner? No, not really. Also WTF was that scene with Andrys' ex lovers. I know we're supposed to see and rejoice in the fact that Andrys is no longer a playboy, but did we really need that "women hating women for the benefit of some hot guy" thing in here? I swear there were bits in the series where I could have sworn it was written by man (derogatory). At least Narilka remained unbothered. Presumably moisturised. Very happy and in her lane. Focused on her wedding, as she should be. She gets to live on to be compared to countless fragile things made of porcelain, whether she wants it or not. 2) Freaking Riven Forrest. I was cackling throughout that whole bit. Not only does he get to hunt and terrify people just like his father, he also runs a successful (?) fishing rod business on the side. (I know, I know, hunting supplies in general, the rods just kind of stuck out to me). The fact that the intelligent prey he looks forward to hunting the most is once again a woman (even if it is an abusive, horrible woman) tells us exactly what part the Iezu mother chose to take from the OG Hunter, huh. Which is great for Gerald, but a weird choice on her part?? But dear God the last bit. He keeps a portait of Gerald above his fireplace??? I finally completely lost it at "Here's to you, dad" xDDD 3) The "dark haired youth". Of course he survived. I was suspicious as soon as we didn't actually get to see Andrys kill him. As for the new persona - I suspected who he was, but the moment I was really sure was when Damien started describing him in loving detail. For an entire paragraph. That was half a page long. But the ending. WTF. I could have accepted Gerald's Death, but this? You're telling me after all they went through together, and after he basically just risked his life again by saying hi to Damien in the most cryptic way possible, they just...never talked again?! Nah, in my expert opinion they just met up in the next bathhouse. Also I wanted to see the guy suffer be annoyed a bit more because he can no longer Work to maintain his image. (I'd also have loved to know Geralds criteria for his new body, vain as he is. What was his thought process? "Oh no, the wonderful world of magical horse-breeding is now lost to me! Guess I'll just have to make sure that from now on I have the most majestic ponytail out there!"? Although, come on. He might be willing to risk his life for a horse.) My last words: I enjoyed this series so much more than I ever thought I would, and these idiots now live rent-free in my brain. Also how the f- are we supposed to read these books as an entirely platonic relationship? The most I'll agree to is some weird, slightly cursed QPR. But come on. COME ON. Even if they are both heterosexual (notwithstanding Damiens constant thirsting casual descriptions) they are definitely in love. Or just so deeply obsessed with, and at this point, sort of dependent on each other (Gerlad's words, not mine. sort of) that it makes little to no difference.

I know there's some prequels (?) I think I might check them out sometime.

[lunarleonardo]

I am absolutely LOVING HGH so far aaaaa tsumugi cringing at his pleading is making me laugh so much hgdhxhh

So happy you're feeling more comfortable in your stories now cuz humiliation may or may not be one of my fav tropes too....were winning guys 🔥

I'm not at 100% comfort yet, but then again that might be for the best ^^" I haven't ever publically stated my most favorite kind of fic, and I'm not sure I'll have the confidence to @_@; let's just say tiktok has done some Damage to me so now I'm afraid of speaking about any of my opinions ever

Anyway. her reaction to him begging her to stay (as an act, of course!) was 100% genuine XD might've let him cook in the room for a little too long girl

Also!! FELLOW HUMILIATION LOVER!! I base a lot of these ones off things I either have done or am afraid of happening (hence why i have such a big fear of people thinking i'm writing stuff for sexual purposes :( ...) And I also just like characters being a big ol embarrassed mess. that being said i am VERY picky about humiliation tropes because second hand embarrassment is literally physically painful to me (((・・;) ohhh public humiliation my #1 enemy

Thank you so so much though!! I really appreciate these kinds of asks they make me really happy and give me more confidence to keep writing <33 💕💕

[pandemellia]

This sketch I didn't really like ended up being something I was satisfied with. I know this account's supposed to be for my vent OCs and art, but I just had to do this XD Maybe I'll post more fanart on here occasionally, it all just depends on my mood.

So, this is sort of a happy vent (?) Wordgirl is a show I vaguely remember from childhood, but I never really got into it. I only watched one or two episodes, and then I forgot about it. Last month or so ago, I came across this Tiktok video showing a scene from this show. For anyone who's watched Wordgirl, it was one of the "Rise of Miss Power" episodes where Wordgirl's making fun of Tobey. It was kinda funny, so I looked up out-of-context compilations of this show on Youtube.

And that's when I met my new crush favorite character, Dr. Two-Brains! c: I love this man so much. He's goofy, adorable, and petty asf XD

....it was all fun and games until I realized that I'm simping for a character from a kid's cartoon show and that I'm gonna cringe so hard at this in a few years. But you know what? Most people on the internet are into some crazier shit, so you can't judge. -u- Also, watching episodes with him in it calmed me down a little from the anger and resentment I was feeling toward my ex for being a hoe. I'm having fun, and that's all that matters! >0< This was much-needed lightheartedness.

It's too bad that I was late for the resurgence in the Wordgirl fandom (I was surprised to find out it had one) in early 2022...and that was around the time I was going through agonizing pain from the break and break up. 😬

As for the "blursed" part of this drawing, I've sketched NSFW/suggestive stuff before. But I've never rendered them and posted them in public. To be honest, I've been afraid to draw that type of stuff because I'm not good with anatomy (especially male anatomy), but I might start practicing now to draw more explicit content. c:

[katyspersonal]

Spamton G Spamton

(From this ( x ) ask meme)

Oh boy... It's been 84 years since I got to talk about my other interests that are not Soulsb0rne xD Yes, I AM still waiting for Deltarune to be finished, just accept it </3

First impression: Bwahahaha, he is so funny! What the fuuuuuuuck xD I don't know how I never expected anyone like that from a COMPUTER-themed Chapter, but what the fuuuuck! xDDDD

Impression now: Honestly? This character cannot be OVER-rated. He is objectively good, and no amount of "hurr hurr mainstream :/" will make him cringe. Yes, that includes fanart that is not quite truthful to his real vibe. I just think he is a very good character - a much more sympathetic example of the character in the setting that gets to learn something he (probably) should have never known, and futility of fighting against it than, say, Jevil was. Jevil SIMPLY went mad, Jevil SIMPLY decided that if nothing is real then none are pain and deaths of people around him... Spamton, though? He still clings to the things he used to care about, he shares much more backstory from his former, more naive self, that 'self' is still alive within him, he wants to be 'real' rather than falling for complete insanity... There are just so many layers to him - all for the character whose EVERY fucking quote sounds like a shitpost. I appreciate the dissonance between his serious lore and his shitposty behavior a lot, actually. The classic of Indie games, hands down, one of the best Deltarune characters yet.

Favorite moment: You remember THE horror we all felt when by following his directions, we walked in the dead end room, and then tried to walk out of it...... only for the layout of the former screen to fucking CHANGE and create another dead end ;-; Also, the creepy smiley faces in the darkness. Fuckin. Fuckin CLASSIC of pixeley indie RPGs. I loved that small moment soooooo much. It is not to belittle his other moments - every single time he interacts with us and Kris is GOLD anyway. xD

Idea for a story: Lol, that's a hard one, let me refresh my memory... Well, I remember I came up with an idea of him and Noelle interacting - as an AU, or maybe parallel turn of events, or maybe 'it could not have happened in the game or else the chapter would not be fun, so just imagine if Deltarune story was NOT a game'... Yeah. I thought she'd find him funny, and that'd be how they'd strike a conversation.. And in that case, instead of Kris putting the (metaphorical) engagement and marriage rings on her, it'd be placing metaphorical princess and queen crowns on her. She'd basically become his secret weapon, convinced that Kris was possessed by an entity (TECHNICALLY true, by the way...) and they needed to extract it for everyone's sake (of course, for Spamton's first of all, hahah). SO yeah, Noelle would arrive as his secret weapon and have battle with the team instead. It also happened before some LORE about Noelle and Spamton got dropped, so when I also learned THAT, I was pleasantly surprised xD I am a prophet for real sfdfdhsd

Unpopular opinion: Hmmm... Well, I think fandom should never forget that he is both very sleazy AND very much of a loser. x) The last time I checked the fandom, I saw him either as a cute babyboy that toooootally simps for Swatch, OR as a super smart badass mastermind. But he is neither! He is a loser and cringe and fail, but at the same time tries his best to be sneaky. Not a nice person, but not an evil mastermind. He is cringe, but not JUST a comic relief - he has a lot going on! Just imagine a trademark card dealer sneaky guy being struck with the knowledge beyond his understanding... That's it. Basically, my unpopular opinion is just that with Spamton, it is a constant fight of the balancing the character! He is simpler than fandom portrays him AND more complicated than fandom portrays him at the same time!

Favorite relationship: Lol, all his relationship SUCK (source: check his lore) and none of this stuff is genuine anymore </3 However, I am a huge sucker for backstory material where he was still a wholesome family with the Addisons. I see them as actual brothers (divisions of the same concept for Darkners), with Spamton being more like adopted one. But, they all were cringe salespeople at some point! The Knight just HAS to always pick the outcast... Like how Joker card is the least used (so we got Jevil), and how natually, spam is the least checked kind of e-mail and advertisement... But he WAS their cringe weird brother at some point, who was failing but tried his best, and they still accepted him!

Favorite headcanon:

My favorite headcanon is that it was acid x) As much as I love the theme of a Darkner turning more toylike upon learning about the sheer HORROR of their existence, there are still other darkners who were not exposed to Chaos that show toy-like features. So yes, he had to be rebuild, I think.

-----------------------------------

Thank you for an ask! x) Sorry if anyone here doesn't like Deltarune (and maybe Undertale too). I don't get to talk about this interest all that often, but UTDR is still one of my favourite pieces of fiction, and this character in particular IS one of my all time favs </3

[authoraemoseley]

hey! this is chance & here’s week 2's prompt. when you write or create an oc, do you like to reference elements from your life? if yes, name a few. if no, why not?

Howdy! Thanks for the ask! Sorry for the delay in answering, life tried to eat me again rude.

Short answer:

Oh boy do I! I typically pull inspiration from my personal struggles such as my mental/physical health/disabilities (been chronically ill, am deaf without hearing aids), and other elements.

Long answer (most of which is under a cut):

Oh boy do I!

As I said, I typically pull inspiration from my personal struggles, the biggest ones being my physical/mental health and my disability.

This is a huge change from when I first started writing. I would either go full on self insert mode (which I view as cringe now, but I was learning the ropes and it was helpful to my growth as a writer), or I would be like "omz it's so tacky when authors pull inspiration from themselves, that's so cocky!". I was rather extreme when I was a kid XD

I used to avoid writing about my disability simply because I had:

Never seen it done

Thought that it was what I was "supposed" to write, and that my disability had to be written about in a certain way or no one would read it or allow it to be published

And I wasn't interested in stories that people wanted or expected me to write about deaf/hoh people; we aren't tragedies. Give me a deaf person running around a magical world making friends!

And then I realized I could write it*. It wasn't egotistical to pull inspiration from my life. That's what all creators do, intentionally or not. I'm one of those creators that purposefully pulls inspiration/traits from my life and puts them into my characters.

But, with some caveats:

Does it add to the character? For example, Mark originally was such a pain in the butt that when I went back and read my very first draft of the story (back in high school), I had to stop because Mark was just that hateable.** He was angry, self centered which stemmed from his anger, and I just couldn't relate to this guy. The problem is, House of Moons without Mark as the main character, isn't House of Moons at all. So for years, I put the story on hold, and just kind of hoped that one day it would come to me.

When I found out that I could write about my disability my way, I realized Mark needed my hearing loss.

When I was Mark's age, I was furious with the world for a number of reasons. And one of them was because of how horribly the world treated me as a disabled person. Sometimes I was mocked or excluded because I wasn't able to hear. Sometimes it was because the world treated me as special, just because I couldn't hear.

Anything good I did was "Oh wow! You're hearing impaired and you did that? That's so brave!". While in hindsight I know those comments probably came from a good place, it still hurt, and it still hurts to feel as if my accomplishments are intrinsically tied to my ability to hear.

Getting that from everywhere but your family is exhausting. Over time, infuriating. Once I gave Mark his hearing loss (which is the exact same kind of hearing loss I have), his anger made sense. It also gave me a starting point to explore more reasons why he was so angry. So Mark is now angry at his parents for never being around. The magical community for simultaneously fawning over and ostracizing him and his family for something he can't help. His neighborhood and (at first) school for treating him as something breakable because of his hearing loss.

Mark isn't angry at himself for being born with a hearing loss which gradually (for whatever reason) got worse over time. He's angered by how he's treated due to that hearing loss, and a lot of other things too.

Mark sharing my hearing loss adds to his character. Now I love writing him, he's relatable and even though he's angry and can be a jerk, there's a reason behind it and the possibility for growth.

Can I make this trait the character's own?

While I make sure the trait I'm giving the character makes sense, if it doesn't actually help make the character the character, then I nix the idea.

For example (moving the spotlight from Mark for a moment here), Harris and his siblings have PTSD. I have PTSD. Harris and his family have PTSD for very different reasons than I do. If I were to take away the PTSD from any of those characters their story would literally make no sense. They all lived through an unspeakable trauma. For them to not have some sort of physical or psychological scarring makes no sense and is a disservice to the reader.

But how Harris deals with his trauma is different than how his sister and older brother deal with it. They all have PTSD, they all have a shared trauma, but they all cope differently.

And because their PTSD comes from a different place than mine, their coping strategies are different too***. And because in real life, people with shared traumas will still have different coping styles. So how Harris deals with his PTSD (physically hiding often times), is different than how Acida, his sister does (building a blanket fort or stress baking). And of course, their older brother Fanggore copes by making sure his siblings are accounted for and then reads a book.

So typically, I use some part of myself to give myself a starting point in helping flesh out the characters. But I make sure that it's relevant to the character and actually makes sense for them to have that positive or negative trait.

While I focused on my struggles, I do like slipping in positive traits too! I have one character that's very into music and writes lyrics (which I do), another who has my zany sense of humor (I work hard to make sure each character has a unique sense of humor, rather than just everyone being snarky).

Overall, I'm one of those people that really draws inspiration from my personal experiences. I use it more as a starting point and then let my imagination make something new from it.

Thanks for the ask! :D

~ ~

*Cannot tell you how mind-blowing it was to realize that not only was I completely capable of writing about my disability in stories that I would want to read, but also that people would be interested in reading it. Still blows my mind some days.

**I will note here that autocorrect was overly enthusiastic and corrected "hateable" to "hittable" and I'm quite sure everyone felt that way. I also had to stop reading what I wrote cause I was good enough of a writer to know when writing was bad (and at the time it was) but I was also not strong enough of a writer at the time to fix what needed fixing.

***If I were to give Harris and his siblings my exact kind of PTSD (the cause and how I react) that would also make no sense...it really, really wouldn't. That would be silly! /derogatory

[anotherghoul666]

I want to know the answer to so many of those questions for the ao3 wrapped. I'll settle for these though: 3, 9 and 28

Buddy, please, you could ask all of them and I'd jump for joy and answer every single one. Engagement is author food and I hunger like nobody's business XD If you want to know the answer to anything else, please send them over. Never hesitate to engage with me. I'd wager most authors would also love the engagement but I don't want to speak for everyone, so maybe check in first, but I LOVE it. I don't find it cringe, I don't find spam likes or reblogs annoying, I love asks, do your worst!

3. What work are you most proud of (regardless of kudos/hits)?

This Could All Be Yours! Because this beast was an ORDEAL to make. I actually pushed through and produced something that I can legit enjoy now that I've stepped away from it. So much shit happened while I was actively writing the stripper!AU. I wrote it through an insane work rush where I'd do 10 days in a row no breaks spent between my two jobs because of the stupid holiday season, have a day off to recover, then get shoved back in it again. I wrote it through a covid outbreak in my residents at job 1 from which we were not properly protected. I wrote it under the threat and stress of maybe catching covid again, maybe giving covid to my partner, maybe ruining the holidays for everybody cause both our families have immunocompromised members so we had to isolate preventively besides going to work. I wrote it through a good ol' bout of the Spicy Sad. I somehow managed to write Rain to a satisfying standard where I love how I wrote him now but while I was doing it? Holy shit did this cryptid stump me and made want to pull my hair out xD Every scene with him did not flow while I wrote, it was slow and painful and like pulling teeth. Many people have had me in their DMs complaining about why is our water boy so fucking hard to write XD And in the end it worked out so good and I love himmmmm but my god, I had another Rain fic planned right after this and NOPE XD I need a Rain break, I can't put myself through that again so soon hahaha. I can write him well but he's the ghoul I struggle with the most. So yeah. Through all that shit, I wrote almost 20k of what I find to be a very well build verse I'm excited to go back inside of, and I'm proud I managed to get it out in these circumstances!

9. Favorite pairing you wrote for this year?

Besides the obvious answer of polyghouls because I ship them all as a poly unit, my favorite dynamic is Swiss/Dew. These two together are magic. They're a fucking forest fire. They are so much fun to write, they're natural, they flow so well, they're painless, and I can push shit with them. Swiss is my go-to sadist, Dew is my go-to masochist (even if I 100% plan to make them switch, because all my ghouls are switches, and Dew has a mean sadistic streak too). I'm a fervent follower of the Hurt Dew 2k22 agenda and I shall pursue some version of Hurt Dew 2k23 too, honestly. It's just, right on target for what I love to write the most, these two. The banter, the back and forth, the meanness, the issues, the humiliation and shame sweet spot, the pain and shared delight, that manic electric energy they get into, on a backdrop of so much love and care and trust. They're the pair I realistically see pushing their kink the furthest in terms of edge play and real heavy shit that teeters lines and limits and I love that vibe. I cannot wait to write more of their brand of tender violence. I want to see see how much I can push with these two in the future, how far I'll take them in terms of the more niche or "extreme" kinks and edge play. That's the kind of exploration that really gets my experimentalist kinkster mind going!

28. Favorite work you wrote this year?

Drought or Euphoria probably. It's the most self-indulgent work I wrote for sure, in terms of saying fuck it, this will not be for everybody, but it's what gets me off, and I will write something I'd get off to if I found it in the wild. Turns out, more people than I had expected have suddenly found themselves with an sudden new interest for leather boots hahaha. Yall are welcome for the sexual awakening btw ;) But yeah. Most of the key elements in this fic are self indulgent. It's me pressing my own buttons. The gratuitous descriptions of Swiss and his salt and pepper facial hair that makes me weak in the knees. The whole "consensually twisting someone's arm and tricking them to make them do what you want" dynamic Swiss enacts on Dew. The descriptions of the smell and taste of leather, that's for me to have the scent in my nose and the taste in my mouth while I write. The boot worship. The obedience. The devotion. The humiliation. The shameless projection of my own oral fixation and enthusiasm for blow jobs on Dew, which is now something I've kept on his character for good and will write more of. The monstrous tongue which is me displaying my inner monster fucker. The denial ending. This shit is like, my own kryptonite. I will happily write for kinks that aren't my favs or aren't even kinks I have, for requests or exploration's sake. But oooh boy, when I get to just make an entire fic to be a collection of *my* shit, it's pure fun and it goes to the top of the favorite list real fast hahaha.

[roscvcins]

get to know the mun ! repost, don’t reblog.

——— BASICS ! ♡

NICKNAME : Ro <3

PRONOUNS : She/Her

ZODIAC SIGN : Libra sun and Virgo moon, never figured out what my ascending is hhh

TAKEN OR SINGLE : single pringle not rly lookin to mingle but open to the possibilities XD

ANYTHING ELSE? : Fluent in mandarin, read mostly in mandarin, and would write in mandarin if that's easier for someone!

——— THREE SERIOUS FACTS ! ♡

I can be slow to warm up sometimes. It's not that I don't like you or I don't want to get to know you, but sometimes I get caught up in my own head regarding other people's boundaries and then I'm overly careful and come across reserved or distant. If you give me permission and assure me of that permission, I will be in your dms yapping NONSTOP.

I love pitching you aus at 2 am. Sometimes things just pop into my brain, and the later I pop into your dms the wilder the au, honestly. I've pitched people everything from slight canon alterations to straight up cyberpunk. Related to this, I also really love long-winded plotting. I like developing extended universe things and fleshing out our characters within the au or setting we have decided on.

I'm very much about matching energy and balancing what we plot. I am so very happy to fulfill your wishlist items and I hope you'd be willing to look over mine! After all, rp is all about what we want to do with our muses, both of us. It's only fun if everybody is having fun!

——— THREE RANDOM FACTS ! ♡

I have been drawing for 10 years! Well, 10 plus if you really want to count the earliest attempts, but seriously and digitally, 10 years.

I play (WILDLY HOMEBREW) dungeons and dragons and dm a (also probably wildly homebrew) call of cthulu campaign for my musical theatre groupchat. We're looking to start a (ABSOLUTELY GOING TO BE WILDLY HOEMBREW) vampire the masquerade game too but honestly we've been stuck halfway through the last dnd session for two months bc somebody had to go and now none of us have coinciding free time and at this rate we're never going to finish any of the campaigns XD

When I'm gone from dash for long periods of time, I'm most likely sewing. Hobby I picked up from the cosplay (Tm) days, which is really not surprising.

——— EXPERIENCE ! ♡

It'll be a decade officially in Jan. 2025 that I've been doing tumblr rp!

My first tumblr rp blog was in L.es M.is playing E.njolras. Historically I've written for a lot of broadway fandoms (some of which branched into classic lit and some nostalgic lit), and this particular blog that I am currently on first started as a kdrama blog, became a cdrama blog, and then took a turn straight into "obscure cnovels only Ro reads because they aren't really fully translated" land.

I was doing deviantart notes rp long before all that though. I'm from the 1v1 OCxCanon you write someone I want to write against I'll write someone you want to write against era. Not my proudest moments / best writing but...I remember having fun as a 13 year old, so really, that's all that matters, probably. If I cringe about it now maybe it's cause I'm now a killjoy adult , etc. etc.

It's really cool to me that I've got rp friendships coming up on like...8 years now. When I think about it it's crazy that it's been so long, but also it feels like time has hardly passed. If we make rp friends we'll probably be rp friends forever. People come out of the woodwork from years ago and I'll welcome them back like no time has passed. I'll probably even still remember all our plotting because I'm NOSTALGIC and I mourn my inactive comrades by rereading our old stuff.

——— MUSE PREFERENCE ! ♡

My own muse type is fragile but vicious and beautiful and venomous and overall morally gray bois who would sell you to the devil through sending you to hell by their own blades for complicated and painful likely circumstantial reasons, after much internal conflict. Conversely though, it is also genuinely Good-Hearted, understanding, sunshine (if sometimes overly mischievous) ladies who are ultimately unafraid to chase the fate they want and remain true to themselves and their values despite sometimes questioning if they're asking for too much when they stand up for themselves, putting up with a lot and having a tinge of abandonment issues.

The muse type I'm generally a sucker for across my own muses and other people's muses is tragically unhinged. I love me a tiny bit of unhinged in a character. There's so much meat to an unhinged character and a lot of juicy dimension to get into. Plenty of potential too, for basically any genre of plotting.

I find myself writing a lot of female ocs recently! Don't know if that's just how the way the plotting falls or if I'm just like...hanging on like that.

——— FLUFF / ANGST / SMUT ! ♡

FLUFF : Fluff is soul food! I love a good soft thread (especially after some heavy angst hhhh). I personally enjoy the idea of acceptance and care when it comes to fluff. There's something quietly intimate about fluff that I enjoy picking out of my threads, and I enjoy letting my muses be cared for and caring for others! There's also development to be had here tbh, and I enjoy the contrast of quieter emotions and expression.

ANGST : Angst is my bread and butter. I think I enjoy angst more than I enjoy any other genre of writing, and I have a sneaking suspicion it's about emotional intensity. I think both the hurt and the comfort come from and are big emotions, and I think development most frequently comes from big emotions. So, in general I think I tend to be able to wrangle the most development out of angst threads and therefore the most satisfaction. I'm generally not here for hurt no comfort! Though I do also sometimes enjoy killing a random character off and just...seeing how the pieces grow back together.

SMUT : I feel like I've gotten laxer/how I feel about it has changed a bit as time has passed. Reassessing, I think I'm not entirely opposed to writing smut, actually? Maybe not on tumblr though. I overthink what I post on tumblr a lot, so if I'm actually going to write smut I think it has to be somewhere I feel like it's less likely to accidentally shove it in someone's face. Also, I'd need a ridiculous amount of rapport with the other mun to feel comfortable and not super embarrassed. So! That's how that goes.

PLOT / MEMES : I'd love for it to be both, actually. I think memes can create plot hooks, and on the other hand, plotting can inspire memes. The caveat is that you have to be willing to talk about it in the end, I guess! I think having context for an idea, a verse, or something between our muses, and then sending a meme about it is like the flexibility and spontaneity we need to keep a plot fresh sometimes. Like if you've hammered out all the details, throwing a meme into it makes it a little less rigid, you know? And on the other hand, if we have no real concrete ideas for a muse relationship or plot, throwing a meme into it could spark the correct questions to ask so that we can arrive at some kind of plot, and give us some inspiration to jumpstart where we want to take a dynamic. So bottom line is: please do both! If we can talk about it and spin it out more in the end, that's all that really matters.

tagged by : stole it from the tag cause I wanted to do it tagging :

[tadpoles-and-daydreams]

I FORGOT TO DO THIS

whoops!!! I actually love being tagged in these things, even though my complete lack of response made it probably look otherwise XD That'd be my ADHD ass saving it as a draft and never looking back.

This is.... going to say a painful amount about me if you know these characters, but luckily I'm not sure anyone will lol-

You have no idea how much making this poll hurt. /pos This is the post that outs me as a DSMP fan, someone who likes Dazai, and an Omori fan all in one go. Send help. /j

I'm too socially anxious to tag people so sorry for breaking the chain, buuuut I'm also going to open this up to absolutely anyone who sees this from my blog and wants to do it! Here's your excuse, you don't need to be tagged now, run free and tell me your favorite characters.

Also, I thought this was "which character fits your vibe most" rather than "which was everyone's favorite" at first so all I could think about was how if you know very specific things about me your answer changes drastically.

5 Favourite Characters Poll (Tag Game)

I was tag by: @star-mum

Rules: make a poll with five of your all time favourite characters and then tag five people to do the same. See which character is everyone's favourite.

Thanks you so much for the tag

Tags <3: @meeks-beas @practically-an-x-man @outer-space-face @trashworldblog @mydearlybeloathed

[leserattevirginie]

When True Night Falls by C.S. Friedman

Genre: Sci-Fantasy Star Rating: 4,25 ⭐️

Plot: ⬜️ Plot holes big enough for a herd of elephants ⬜️ I think I’ve read this before. (Unoriginal to the max.) ⬜️ No plot, just vibes ✅ Enjoyable but not super memorable. ⬜️ You have my undivided attention. ⬜️ Mind = Blown

Characters: ⬜️ Mary Sue is in the house! ⬜️ These are cardboard cut-outs. ⬜️ Good main cast, but the rest is forgettable at best. ⬜️ Generally well written. ✅ Complex ⬜️ What do you mean characters? These feel like real people!

Personal Enjoyment: ⬜️ DNF ⬜️ Somebody free me from this hell (but also no, I won’t DNF) ⬜️ WTF did I just read??? ⬜️ I don’t like it, but I also don’t hate it. ⬜️ It’s a good book but I just never want to pick it back up. ⬜️ No strong feelings either way. ⬜️ Enjoyable read ✅ What a page turner! This is fun! ⬜️ I think I’m in love ⬜️ (new) all time favourite

World Building: ⬜️ This takes place in our world. ⬜️ Worldbuilding what worldbuilding? ⬜️ This feels like a TV set. ⬜️ Not super deep, but present. ✅ Detailed, believable. ⬜️ You bet every single ant has its own 100 page backstory!

Pacing: ⬜️ drags/is rushed in all the wrong places ⬜️ Inconsistent ⬜️ something undefinable feels off ⬜️ I don’t love it it but it fits the book perfectly. ✅ Good/no complaints ⬜️ Amazing! Could not put this down!

Writing: ⬜️ This is painful ⬜️ I’m cringing ⬜️ Not great, but not bad either. ⬜️ Neutral (Didn’t really notice.) ✅ Elegant but not overly flowery. ⬜️ So beautiful I actually stopped and noticed it. ⬜️ I’m not sure if this is just a bad translation. ⬜️ I’m not confident enough in my language skills for this language to comment on the quality of the writing.

I think this is the first series where my favourtite part is just the world itself! I certainly haven't ever enjoyed reading about fantasy-christianity before xD

Somehow this continues to be one of the gayest fantasy series I've ever read, even if it is all unintentional (how?!?!) subtext.

One burning Question I have left: does the author just hate all her female characters? Last book, Ciani was amazing, but the majority of the time the readers get to spend with her she had the personality of a wet towel. (Yes for plot reasons, and maybe only because Damien just started to see her that way, but still.) Then she regains her personality and we never see her again. This book, pretty much all named women who had more than half a page of "Screen Time" died. Jenseny was a surprise for me because I usually don't enjoy the random overpowered child who is there to further the plot, but I really liked her. And then she died. (With style, and very heroically, but still.) Which leads me to Hesseth. Justice for Hesseth, she was way too cool to go so soon! Badass explorer Rasya? Dead to make Damien and the new Patriarch sad. Even the Matrias were all burned at the stake (or worse). I think the only one who survived is the one that Gerald brings along as a snack. I can only hope that she gets the opposite character arc, and starts out as sad, scared vampire food only to become an interesting character later? Oh, and I suppose Narilka - whose great deeds amount to *checks notes* not being brutally murdered despite being pretty - is still around somewhere, hopefully living her best life.

oof this came out as more of a rant than I had anticipated 😅

I'll end this on a positive note and say that I absolutely LOVED seeing how Damien and Gerald are starting to influence each other in their actions, their little moments throughout the book were a delight. Especially that one time when they looked at a random valley and went "You know what would improve this place by 200%? HORSES." Gotta love that Gerald is pretty much evil incarnate and yet somehow such a horsegirl at the same time xD.

Oh, and the Unnamed One made me laugh. I know he probably shouldn't but here we are xD There's just something about Gerald (understandably) panicking at the end of the book, and the Big Evil Entity probably wouldn't even have noticed anything was amiss for years if it weren't for Calesta. (And even then there's that one stray thought that insists that Gerald has been doing a great job overall xD)

Oh well, that's all from me until I get the 3rd book.

[the-dream-team]

Hi Dylan! I'd love to hear your answers for 7 for WKWC, 14 or 15 (your choice) for LHTP, and 11 for Snowflakes :)

Billie!!!!! hi :)

7: Where did the title come from? (wkwc)

Who Knows, Who Cares is actually the title of a song by the band, Local Natives!

And every chapter title is a different lyric from the song! The whole song is basically a thesis statement for the fic, and it's a bop B)

14: Is there anything you wanted readers to learn from reading this fic? (lhtp)

The whole story is really about how grief expresses itself in different people, so I hope that resonated to an extent. But the most important takeaway (I was aiming for) was that there's always hope and light amongst the pain and darkness <3

11: What do you like best about this fic? (s)

The fact that you included Snowflakes in here warms my heart :')

Since I wrote this fic when I was like 14, I think it's easy to cringe at the buckwild characterizations and overall bad writing... but I love the absurdity of this fic and how determined my younger self was to tell a unique and bizarre story that was technically still canon compliant xD Oh, also I love the fact that I led everyone to believe that it was a fluffy comedy and then pulled the rug out at the last minute to make it as angsty as possible because I lived for the drama ( ˘ ͜ʖ ˘)

[chaos-bringer-13]

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA-

*runs out of breath, inhales*

AAAAAAAAART!!!

The scars. Omc. The fangs. The messy hair. Ahhhhhhhhdbdbfjdifjrb

Also please don't think that rambling about random plots and ideas is cringe, this is tumblr, we're all like this here! Rambling and listening to other people rambling are my favourite activities :D

And oh yes, Danny as the Ancient of Balance! I love your idea of him showing two sides, and let's mix it up, let it be not obvious "scary death, nice life", make Danny being able to show two sides of anything. Make it something poetical (because I'm feeling dramatic today), something like "Fear of unavoidable end, need to bow before the power that defeats anyone - death. Danger and confusion and pain that is brought by a power that appears from nothing and refuses to be defeated - life" on one side and "Calmness of eternal sleep, contentment of arriving to the final destination, safety you only feel in embrace of death. Happiness overflowing you upon seeing a flower blooming in a crack of stone, care of a living creature that chose you to be its friend, unconditional love of a child seeing the world for the first time in their life" on the other. That's just what Danny's auras feel like at their strongest ofc, normally he just lightly channels some calmness and that's it. I feel like there should be one scene when some entity acts specifically to destroy balance, and it enrages Danny even though he can't process why (because of course he's oblivious enough to not know that he's the ancient of balance), and that's when we get to see him use his aura to the extreme.

Big Scary Entity vs just some guy™ Danny XD

Danny: I'm not mad, just disappointed.

Very powerful entity (barely remembers what happened because of Danny's aura, is feeling confused and guilty): *sobbing* I'm sorry :(

JL: How did you do that??

Danny: Dunno, Midwestern politeness and channelling my therapist sister. Therapy is one hell of a thing, am I right? :D

Entity: *sobbing intensifies*

I like the idea that in this AU all Danny's friends and siblings at some point did some favours to people in DC, especially JL, and what they did was incredibly important for these people but not too hard for Danny's fam. And every time they asked for something in return, and every time it was something absolutely unexpected and easy. (They would do the same without getting anything in return, they just decided to use the opportunity)

Tucker, after giving JL information that let them prevent a literal destruction of Earth: Hey, can this one guy, Danny, sometimes hang out in your Watchtower? You don't even have to give him access to Zeta tubes, just don't attack him or anything when he appears.

Jazz, after freeing half of JL from mind control and kicking the ass of that one entity that tried to conquer the world: *stares at Batman with all her 37 eyes*

Batman: *stares back*

Jazz (read his mind and totally knows that he's Bruce Wayne): So, you know Bruce Wayne, right?

Batman: Hm.

Jazz: Can you ask him to fund that one little coffee shop? Danny was upset that they have to close, it's his favourite place.

Dan, after completely destroying a powerful entity that tried to destroy the world, without even a hello: A bunch of idiots tried to kidnap and sacrifice my brother to himself, and he prohibited me to kill them. Can you put them in jail, preferably forever?

Sam, after fixing a very important ecological issue: What I want in return? I did it for fre- actually, can I get Martian Manhunter's autograph? Danny's a fan, and he's too shy to ever ask himself.

Dani, after confusing and terrifying an alien fleet to the point of them just leaving and deciding to never return to Earth: Jazz said I can ask Batman to ask something from Bruce Wayne, so can Brucie punch Vlad Masters in the face with as many cameras filming it as possible? I need that on the internet from all angles.

Danny is completely oblivious. He's very happy about Bruce Wayne helping small businesses and punching Vlad (Vlad's apparently annoying enough to make even famous himbo Brucie mad, nice). He saw the cultists get arrested on TV, decided that it's a good thing and haven't thought about that since. He's not sure how Sam got that autograph but surely it's possible to just randomly meet a JLeaguer with enough luck, and Sam is brave enough to actually ask for an autograph in such situation. Tucker's thing is the only one Danny knows about, and he only knows that Tucker helped the JL somehow, no knowledge about how big that help was.

"Must be Gary" should become Danny's reaction to everything. Just him going "Must be Gary/Leslie/Charlie/etc" without a second thought every time he sees something that was totally started by him. Absolutely love the idea of Danny offhandedly mentioning that something would be good, and the entire ghost government machine following to ensure that it happens.

If Danny ever realizes, he should freak out about it. He should mentally go over everything he said in the last few years and people's reactions and go "DID YOU REALLY USE THAT TO RULE THE GHOST ZONE". And whoever of ghosts is near just calmly retorts: "I mean, it worked great?"

I've seen a lot of people writing Danny as a space ancient and Dan and Dani as ghosts with moon and sun cores, being sort of parts, versions of Danny and therefore weaker. Now, consider: Dan and Dani are both powerful ghosts with really cool cores and stuff but Danny is just some guy™

Dan, who came from an alternate timeline and is kind of from the future but also not, is Clockwork's apprentice and will eventually become an ancient of time. He probably only agreed to have some lessons with Clockwork to understand better what happened to him, but he enjoys his apprenticeship now.

Dani, with her love of travelling, loves seeing all the different places the world offers to her, and that includes space and different planets and maybe even parallel universes, and she accidentally ends up being an apprentice of the space ancient. For now she's probably a baby ancient of freedom or something like that, but she might become an ancient of space in the future.

We can also have something like Dan having a core of destruction or Dani being the Speed Force if you want it to be dcxdp, or any headcanon of yours about their cool powers.

And then there's Danny. And yeah, everyone knows that he's super powerful, but also he's just some guy.

It can go different routes. Does everyone know that Danny is just Danny? Or do they think that with siblings (well, technically a clone and an alternate version, but whatever) so powerful, he must be even stronger? Is Danny actually something terrifyingly eldritch and ancient and strong, almost a god, but he just doesn't know himself? Or is he just really some guy?

Now, because it's obvious that I have a dcxdp brainrot, have a regular "JL summons/meets a powerful ghost" but its Dan and Dani, and they keep mentioning their original/brother who won a fight against them at some point. The JL is very concerned about Dan and Dani's godlike powers, and they can't imagine what Danny is like. And then they meet him (in his human form), and it's just a young adult in casual clothes, very friendly and helpful, with no evident powers. Imagine the confusion. Imagine Dan and Dani, radiating power, in their eldritch ghost forms, admitting that fighting Danny for real is the dumbest thing to do and not even they would succeed... And then there's Danny is jeans and silly t-shirt, waving shyly.

[qlventingspace]

Getting to Know Your BL Mutuals - Tag

rules: answer the questions and @ some people. include the tag ‘g2ky BL mutuals 2022’ on your post so we can find everyone’s answer.

tagged by @dummerjan thank you very much lovely! <3

Considering I started watching BLs this year in spring, I haven't seen much yet, so this will be probably short (and I will probably also include older stuff because I have no idea what came out this year and what is older) xD

What have been BLs that took you by surprise this year? KinnPorsche of course, because I knew it was big and fucking good when I joined, but I didn't expect the quality and dedication and absolutely fricking stunning camera work and THE SHEER TALENT of all actors. It blew my mind.

Big dragon surprisingly. I expected silly sexy little show, not crying like a crocodile. I was hit by so many emotions and like, it is so painful to see the characters struggling, but ALSO so fricking good! I love pain, obviously.

Choco Milk Shake. Not what I expected. Like at all. But so heartwarming and heartbreaking at the same time. And looks extremely comfy somehow.

Shipper. I know I know, technically not a BL, but BL nontheless. What can I say? It has incredibly good acting and one of the weirdest fucking plots I ever saw, but it is so SO GOOD. Had me laughing, cringing, crying, in despair and elated. And sad again. Also anything with First in it, sign me in. What have been BLs that you felt a bit disappointed with this year? Hate to say it, but Cutie Pie, to a degree. Heh, it's probably because I hate the power dynamics there, not gonna lie for first few episodes I was debating if I should continue, because the constant supervision and so called 'protectiveness' from Yi and Lian was making me gag. I live for wild Kuea and cutie Diao, though, they are my loves <3 I agree with you @dummerjan, that last episode or two of Eclipse had some problems in terms of unsolved issues and ridiculous plot shortcuts, that could be handled much better. Still I love the Eclipse with all my heart and though I wasn't happy with how they solved it, it is still amazingly good acting wise, relationships wise and social commentary wise. Very impressed.

*sighs deeply*

And then there's Love in the Air. I wanted to like it. I didn't. Look, I don't doubt that there is some very good emotional stuff plot for Sky later on, I have seen bits of Peat's amazing portrayal, but the camera work, editing and rusty plot had a very very unsatisfying effect on me. When I saw the same fucking scene for the third time in three episodes I just couldn't. Acting was quite good, though, I loved the friendship between Rain and Sky and I very much applaud Peat for portraying Sky. What irks me, I guess, is that they seemed to rely on sex scenes to keep people watching (which worked of course). Not gonna lie, they were good and compared to rest of the scenes had some decent sound (you can hear everything, compared to dialog on the street). Also they had the most natural looking acting in them. But for me, it's painfully little to make me forget about everything else. What has been your favorite BL this year? I cannot pick one. Seriously. Favourites for vastly different reasons: KinnPorsche is leading, hands down. The Eclipse, just...ahh <3 love of my life Not me, cause holy shit this show is incredible (!!!) Old fashion cupcake, I just love seeing older adults finding their other halves and dragging themselves to work while being brokenhearted xD very relatable Favorite BL couples (not just of 2022) Do you really need to ask? VegasPete OF COURSE, my fucked up psychotic cupcakes! AkkAyan, the most healthy couple of all years, to be honest SeanWhite, never expected to love main couple more. Yok my beloved... I'm not putting him into a couple, cause daamn that man has chemistry with everyone and I'm happy with any pairing (still haven't watched the last eps of Not me, but sensing angst, so looking very disrespectfully at you Dan) If you had to suggest a BL for someone what would it be? For mushy comforting feelings and lovers of food, it would be Old fashion cupcake <3 Also good for young adults starting or working their first jobs and also older people stuck in their comfort zones who want to try new things. It's about the little things. It's about finding joy in life in all ages. But then also Not me, because I feel like it encompasses problems of today and I seriously have feeling like I could and should be more active and kind and fight for other peoples rights, while watching it. It is kinda sad and comforting at the same time. And I feel like we need it in these hard and frankly shitty times. We need to realize, that we should fight for what is right and not just sit and ignore the wrongs around us. What's your non-BL favorite this year? Hands down Koisenu futari. I cried guys. I cried. And also adopted cabbage as a mascot of aroaces. Tagging: @theflagscene @foolofafuckingtook @cynicalsinister @vegasandhishedgehog @la-fourmi and anyone who wants to join! :))

[anime-grimmy-art]

Hahhaa, well, that escalated quickly XDD  After drawing the “I won’t say I’m in love” sketch, I couldn’t get this idea out of my head XD This AU kinda has some changes compared to the actual Disney Hercules story, so here a list of things I thought of while drawing: -Ofc, Kim would be Hercules, but I couldn't see Ron taking over the Meg role and just making him Pegasus is boring (I also don't like KiGo, so yeah). So instead I made "Hercules" both Ron and Kim. My idea is that Kim is the actual child of Zeus and Hera (James and Ann) and Ron either is another god's kid or sth like a godly spirit. Instead of Herc making his legend, there already are prophecies of a hero defeating the titans. Being ancient times, ofc you'd think they boy is the actual threat. So, in the kidnapping scene, Pain and Panic (2 of Drakken's Henchmen) just take both babies, cos they don't know which one is the supposed hero, but still make Kim drink the most of the juice stuff. The parent's who adopt the two are Ron's parents from the show. With the prophecy being a know thing, the parents try to "train" Ron aka just implanting the idea that he is a chosen hero even though Kim is the one with powers. So, the movie would be a mix of Herc's actual journey and constant misunderstandings cos Kim does all the work while Ron thinks it's all his doing. - I also like to imagine in all the years they talk to Zeus' statue, Ron actually doesn't understand that James doesn't even talk to him but to Kim. It fit his character too, cos he's the type to babble on and on and not catch that he's not the focus at all. - As for abilities, Kim is basically the same as in the series, just with super strength. Think the ep where she gets Higo's powers. Ron himself ain't a pushover tho, cos he still is a divine deity. I'd say it's pretty much like in the show too. Super speed, endurance and resiliance with a good dose of dumb luck. - I toned down Phil's role cos both Kim and Ron already encourage each other. Still, Phil would be played by Mr. Barkin. Just imagining him giving in to training them and it cuts to him in full war gear and saying "Ok, listen up people". It just makes me chuckle. - The one to push Kim out of the falling pillars way would be Ron. (I couldn't see Shego do it) So Kim does go to hell and takes back Ron's soul and the end is basically the same, where she says she's going to stay on earth with Ron. And when the depart from Olympus, it would pan to James and Ann and he'd go "well, Roland could have stayed here too, he did show an act of a true hero" - Now for a bit more complicated stuff, Shego and Drakken. Since I'd love "misunderstanding" to be a running joke in this AU, Drakken, for one, doesn't understand til after "I won't say I'm in love" that the threat actually isn't Ron but Kim. The other thing he doesn't get is that Shego is his "assistant" by choice. Drakken thinks that, like in the movie, he saved Shego's old lover and took her soul for it. In actuality, Shego saved her previous partner's ass but he dumped her anyways, so she cursed him with Drakken's help. I'd like to think Dr. D presented her the contract and was busy monologuing while Shego edited the contract to her liking. First of, her old partner wouldn't be saved, but cursed, and that she had "hell priviledge", so, even though she's a living being, she could go in and out of hell as she pleases. - Cerberus would be a three headed Commodore Puddles. - I like to think that Shego still has her green glow attack thingy, just with limitations. My idea's that she got hit with hellfire at some point, before she even met Drakken, and she can now use it but only for a limited amout of time before it burns her. Her powers were also the reason Drakken tried to recruit her. - Back to the part about misunderstandings. The idea for this AU actually started because of me doodling fanart of Shego with her singing "I won't say I'm in love". The way it would play out is that Drakken sends her on a date with Ron to find his weakness (even though she knows he's not the problem). Ofc she cringes through the day and it's super awkward and in the end Ron kinda turns her down, which, ofc, makes her mad. Thankfully, before anything happens, Mr. Barkin shows up, just like Phil does, and they leave. Shego is super frustrated as she sits on a bench and she mindlessly picks flowers off a bush. She asks herself why tf she even does stupid stuff like that when she picks a blue flower. Cue "I won't say I'm in love". Now, I'd find it hilarious when the muses join in, thinking Shego is singing about Ron, when rly she is thinking about something (or someone?) else. (kinda ambiguous if she just does it for villanous life or for Drakken). But the whole sequence would be her bumping into Ron statues, the muses all swooning, when Shego acutally flinches away cos she got embarrased as she got a  glimps of a hades wall painting or sth - After that stuff, they have an argument and Shego finally makes see that Ron doesn't need to have a weakness, cos he IS the weakness. Mr. Barkin doesn't see them cos it's not relevant for the plot. The rest kinda plays out like in the movie. Ron is the one Drakken has hostage and he makes a deal with Kim. Ron and Kim would be sore at each other cos Ron was enjoying all the glory for the work KIM did and Kim felt underappreciated. So, even though Ron tries to stop her, Kim goes and gets beaten up. Mr. Barkin still gives the pep talk like Phil did, but Kim and Ron manage to defeat the titan with team work (they did BOTH have Mr.Barkin's training after all). Yeah, then Ron gets crushed, Kim gets her powers back and yadda, yadda - Oh, and last thing, gods actually have names and titles. So, Zeus' name is James but he has the title of Zeus. Drakken's name is Drew and his title is Hades, but being the petty dude he is, he went with sth original. The Dr. is him just flexing tho. Phew, that was a lot, but I had a lot of time to think while designing these AU versions. If I think of more, I'll add on to it.

[pdaliceliveblogs]

Asks pt.4 Utena

(I think this is all the same person going through my Utena tag, which is why it gets its own post)

..fair enough, haha. Weird things happen... silly things happen....

Oh I like that explanation for the uniform, lol. It was bugging me that everyone kept saying “but it’s the boys’ uniform!” when all the boys were wearing something else... but I guess it being a weird summer uniform just makes it fucking hilarious that everyone recognizes it from that one time in the 80s when Ohtori developed a booty short boys’ uniform and nobody ever wore it xD

Yeah, I think the Onion Prince’s deal is less that he’s actively good and more that he’s not a good vessel for a duel? He’s not as likely to lash out, he’s just... a bit pathetic.

god yeah though the comedy episodes are nuts. I think the first few were just a little jarring in that I didn’t expect them, but then once I learnt to roll with the absurdity it became fantastic. It also helps that I became steadily more invested in Nanami over the course of the show....

I will never understand how people can wear shoes without socks. It’s. So weird to me. How do your feet not feel terrible all day?

I mean, that’s also entirely possible. I think my default assumption was that all of Ohtori was pretty darn rich (except Utena the scholarship student), the Kiryuus were just extra rich, but I don’t think that was ever actually confirmed it was just the vibe I got.

Nanami is so fascinating. I think that a lot of the depth to her arc is wound up in the fact that she started out as comic relief and never fully shed that aspect-- I almost want to apologise for overthinking things but I don’t know if that’s possible with this show-- because it feels like this sort of comment on how women’s problems are often overlooked or treated as comedic? Little girls in pain are cringe, especially ones who have less palatable ways of dealing with trauma-- like lashing out. I’m really intrigued by Nanami.

...weren’t we talking about languages when Latin came up? Obviously Rome is in Italy, but when you’re talking about language, “latin” languages are Spanish based and “romance” languages are Latin based. Aren’t they?

“Betrayal is practically the only arrow in that man’s quiver and the other arrow is controlling his sister” YEP. THAT’S IT THAT’S THE CHARACTER.

And yeah, I agree with you on that; Akio is like the stain left behind by Dios, a sort of nega-splinter.

Oh man I remember in high school my sib who was (and is) a big Tezuka fan was telling me about how early Disney was a big influence on him... I wish I remembered more details about that stuff, I should ask them. But I mean, What’s Opera, Doc has a very specific art style, you know? The background paintings are nuts even by the standards of early-WB and I love it.

...oof. Fuck. Yep. Didn’t really think of that. Nanami’s lucky in some ways, huh.

...that could be super cute, actually? Wakaba is a person with no artifice, which could be really good for Juri. Someone who puts her whole heart into things.

[raspberryberyl]

wanted to add on some less important/ maybe triggering things just to share insight into what my fandom experience has been like ^^

tw for suicidal feelings, self harm, panic attacks, and mention of technoblade's death.

before i was into the dsmp, i hadn't been in many fandoms. i liked things like steven universe, but i just watched it really, i never joined into the fandom and conversations. my closest experience to being in a fandom was with svtfoe (which you might know about if your an old follower or just know me on any other platform XD) i drew art for svtfoe, and made friends to talk about it with. i joined svtfoe pretty late into its run, and it was ending. when it had its terrible end, i watched the fandom fall apart and most people leave. the ending really soured the whole show for me, and a lot if my experience, but i stayed in the fandom and continued making my art and au.

with dsmp and mcyt, i was a bit late to the fandom, but not as late as others. i loved seeing all the passion and creativity, and the friendships people had. But i myself didn't engage in it much right away. i kinda just observed and enjoyed the fandom from the shadows. the fandom was nothing like i had ever seen before.

i didn't have any friends or mutuals in the myct fandom though, and i still don't really. i love it and think its amazing, but i also understand my experience is different because other people had actual friends to share it with, and all i did was observe other people's friendships.

i regret not getting more into the fandom earlier, for being scared that 'it was cringe' and not wanting people to know i liked it. maybe if i wasn't so afraid, i would have had some friends and had an even better experience!

the only one i really had was my Little brother. and man we had so much fun discussing lore and theories. i remember getting so excited whenever a big lore trailer would drop and then we'd dressup for things like the red banquet. when a sadist animation would drop, or a new derivikat song. i remember when i became more of an obsessed fan than him and would just watch every stream and then explain it to him. And i remember when he began to lose interest and look back at it as 'cringe' and i felt alone.

it was the dsmp fandom and its fanfics that introduced me to the concept of 'self harm' and so the main reason i started to harm myself.

it was covid (which was awful for all of us) and i also just had my own issues. i felt suicidal, and the dsmp was kinda the first thing i saw that helped me understand those feelings. the first time i saw trauma and suicidal ideation really be tackled. and it felt so personal and intimate.

if you go to my ao3 or know of my anonymous fics, you'd see how many of them are about the concept of suicide. you'd see my venting and suffering.

i had an unhealthy relationship with dsmp at first, but as i grew with the media, it became better and i learned to heal. writing my vent fics, and watching ctommy process trauma helped me process it to.

i would do my school from home, and just tune into any dsmp stream i could just to distract myself from my pain. i have fond memories of tuning into most if ranboo's mining streams, or foolish building and loosing his mind.

when the suicidal feelings were bad, dsmp was what id wake up for. what id rely on to keep me stable and going.

id tell myself stuff like 'you can't kill yourself until you find out the cranboo lore' 'you don't want to miss out on how the dsmp ends' 'once it's over than you can die.'

I'd read fics about trauma, suicidalness, and feelings and it would only exasperate my own feelings. it was aweful, but i never felt more heard.

it made me realize my trauma. it helped me really realize and come to terms with that people that you love and who love you, can hurt you. that just because they're family doesn't mean its ok. that you might think you've got love and a friendship, but they might be using and abusing you.

it made me learn more about mental health, about mine and other's experiences. it made me come to terms with my religious trauma. it taught me more about so many different cultures and people. i hate to admit it but i barely knew anything about lgbtq+ before the dsmp, don't get me started on how little i knew about actual cultures other than my own.

this fandom has given me so much. and ive stayed up late nights and spent so much time and energy on it.

and yeah, things did get soured. I'll never forget ccranboo for how they just abandoned their lore and the character i cared so much about. (i can understand and accept why they did it, but it still hurts). ill never forgive how the dsmp ended, how it went from a masterpiece of lessons to half hearted untrue and just false messages.

it changed when technoblade died, and i remember all the pain i felt. i had never mourned for a person in such a way. i felt horrible that i didn't even know the guy and it affected me so much. but through the tragedy, it helped me realize the beauty and meaning of life, and to savor it. every moment.

i remember the moral dilemmas and panic attacks i would have over lore and people telling me things like 'ctommy isnt being abused' or 'he deserves it'.

i remember when the dream situation stuff came out and i felt guilty and terrified. i remember coming to terms with it, and taking strength in the community and us standing together. i remember, although it made me sick, feeling like i needed to keep up with all the drama. tuning into every cupsmp post to keep myself updated.

i remember the mess of a finale, the cwilbur finale, the miscommunication, and just feeling betrayed by these creators. i remember crying every night when it ended. how bitter i felt. trying not to think about it. i had spent so much time and energy on this fandom, and this is how they treat us? but i learned to find comfort and strength within the community, with our own takes and lessons, our own endings and stories.

through every controversy, although i was tainted, i learned to have strength.

with the ccwilbur stuff i felt so lost. like 'is everything going to just get ruined. is there a point in enjoying anything anymore?' and i got passed it. yeah ctnt duo feels different and is probably ruined for me now, but im not going to let that stop me.

so my point is, i may have gone through shit in this fandom, so much shit, but i dont care. i still love the dsmp, im not going to regret it, no matter how dark of a time it was in my life. im going to keep the fond memories and hold onto what i love. it changed me for the better, and i would go through it all again.

people say to get into other smps, other things, and they have been. but maybe im just not good at letting go and moving on, and i don't intend to let go. its just all not the same for me.

i liked qsmp, i liked empires, i haven't seen the life series but i hear good things. but nothing will be what the dsmp was for me.

i watch cctommy occasionally. people tell me to watch ccranboo, but again i kinda have a grudge. genloss is cool but i just haven't felt hooked. i watch cctubbo the most out of all of them i guess (mostly cause of qsmp).

yeah there are things i could be watching and getting into that other people might think and find better , but I'm happy. i love the dsmp and all my memories. again i dont really have any friends, but i have this community, what is left of us. and i wouldn't trade it for the world.

thank you dsmp fandom, mcyt fandom, i love you 🫂

not to like vague post, i just don't really feel like reblogging, adding my comment, and disrupting the og post. let people feel how they want to feel, and not start any arguments sorta.

but i just saw this post that was like "if you're thinking about getting into dsmp, don't" and lots of people always talking about how they're embarrassed, or regret it, or want to forget that part of their life. and i just can't help but think about how thats the farthest from the truth for me. i don't think I'll ever regret it :-)

and i know that we all have different experiences, people were going through different things and might want to move on and forget, and that's all valid.

the dsmp fandom is just such an experience. and yeah its become soured by cc turning out to be bad people, by bad writing, and by disappointing endings.

yeah it would be hard to get into now, lots of vods and its just not the same experience as watching and experiencing it all live. what made the fandom was the fans, but you can still find fics, go listen to songs, dig up analysis, find art and animatics.

I just feel like there's nowhere where i discovered more about myself, felt heard, found connection, and felt at home more than the dsmp fandom. It's my chosen home. It's my safe place. and when you feel that way about something, why would you not recommend it? share it with others :-)

so because of my bias and own personal experiences, if you were thinking about getting into the dsmp fandom I'd say go for it, I'd totally recommend it! its not the same as it used to be, it'll be a different experience, and we are a small few left but we are mighty.

just be aware of the problems within the source and within the fandom, and you should be good. know that it does have a disappointing end, but you can make up your own ending, or search, find, and connect with others through the ending they came up with.

being in the fandom doesn't mean you're supporting anyone. don't feel bad or embarrassed about liking the dsmp.

to the people who have and do feel like they've been hurt by it, and to the people that feel like they wasted their childhood, time, snd energy on it, I'm sorry, and you're valid to feel how you feel. I hope you've been able to move on to better and happier things.

I love the dsmp, and I don't see that changing, or me regretting it. If i could share my love of it with you i would. So don't be afraid to give it a chance, hey, you can always change your mind.