#and almost all of them would resolve themselves if she saw herself as a person

[sincerely-sofie]

How would Sen react if she found/met someone that was a human, that had been turned into one of the artificially made constructs like her?

She’d be jealous of them for having an excuse to be broken.

[ell0ra-br3kk3r-writes]

Back to December

pairing: kaz brekker x fem!reader

genre: angst, with a small resolved ending

el's thoughts: requested by @maliciousbrekker for my speak now event! i hope you like it! i think this is my personal favorite so far haha

The sound of rain echoed off the thin windows of the Slat while Kaz sat at his makeshift desk sorting through different papers and letters. The only light in the room was emitted from two small candle sticks on his desk, casting the rest of his room in darkness. The warm familiar scent of sugar cookies wafted up the stairs from the kitchen much to Kaz’s enmity. December had to be his least favorite month of the year, and he knew the crows couldn’t help themselves when they got into the holiday spirit. It wasn’t their fault she left.

The feeling of another’s presence in the room suddenly weighed on his shoulders. “Inej.”

The suli girl slipped around the corner and ducked her head. “A letter.”

Black coffee-brown eyes watched her carefully as she avoided eye contact at all costs. He reached out to get the letter and froze when he saw the return address under the flickering light of his candle.

Inej’s shoulder sank as she muttered her departure quickly, not wanting to see the effect of the letter on him.

Kaz heard the heavy door shut and released the breath that was stuck in his throat. He pulled his letter opener out of his desk drawer and pulled the letter out of the envelope. The glimpse of her messy handwriting brought a shameful sense of warmth to his chest. He had no right to feel comforted at the mere sight of her penmanship.

His eyes scanned over her words on parchment, he could almost hear her voice asking him questions about the other crows and his well-being. How’s life? Tell me how’s the crows? I haven’t seen them in a while… He could hear her trailing off in thought. He nearly laughed at her trying to keep small talk even in a letter, avoiding bringing up sensitive topics. Just her being thoughtful of him as always. Something he never learned to do with her. Well, that’s all from me. I still don’t know when I’ll be back. ‘If she’ll ever be back. It’s already been a year.’ Write back when you can, Kaz. Please. All the best, Y/N

He should write back, he had so much to tell her. How he regretted his words and how he wished he could take them back. Give her the love and appreciation she deserves. She deserved the world but he couldn’t even give her his time.

He sighed to himself and ran a hand through his hair. He picked up his pen while reaching for a clean roll of parchment. His eyes glazed over for a moment before he snapped himself out of his own thoughts. The pen’s tip was dipped in ink and hovered over the parchment for a moment too long. Kaz’s mind raced a hundred miles per hour while nothing stuck in his brain. Where was he to start?

Dear Y/N

~

*Summer of the previous year*

The heat of the night clung to Y/N’s skin as she walked along the balconies of the large manor the Crows were robbing. Inej was spying from the roof, the others were inside attending the party, and Y/N was making her way to the right window from where they would let her in.

“Saints,” she cursed as she fanned herself with her hands, the heat starting to make her dizzy and the black outfit she wore didn’t help. The click of the window sounded from beside her causing her to sigh in relief, “S’bout time.”

She slipped through the window and pulled her black hood down, her hair falling out and framing her face. She felt a pair of eyes burning into the side of her head, she smirked and turned towards the pair of coffee-brown eyes. “You unlocked the safe?” She tilted her head in question teasingly.

Kaz snapped out of his daze and turned back to the safe, turning the dial a few more times before it popped open. The sight of jewels and stacks of kruge brought smiles and smirks to all of their faces.

Ding! The half-hour mark.

“Let’s get moving.”

They all stuffed their pockets and bags full of jewels, all of them joking about how they’d be kings and queens as if they weren’t already. The group of five quickly tossed the bags out onto the balcony, Y/N following out the window. She leaned inside, finding herself face-to-face with Kaz as he waited to shut the window. “Meet you back home.” She lifted her head and pecked his lips quickly before turning and grabbing the bags, tossing one to Inej who was waiting above her.

It wasn’t long before all the crows were safely back at the Slat, completing another successful heist.

Y/N sat in Kaz’s room in her designated seat by the window overlooking the Barrel. The man came out of his washroom and made his way to his desk. Various candles lit the room, all of them different scented but all making the comforting scent of Y/N.

“You froze up today.”

Kaz avoided looking at her and hummed.

“Don’t ignore me,” she chuckled, walking over to his side. “You never freeze up.”

“I-”

“Don’t lie to me either.”

“Okay, fine.”

Y/N smirked, “So you admit you froze up?”

“Yes,” he huffed while sorting two piles of paperwork before placing them in a makeshift filing cabinet.

“You… Oh, I don’t know. Got distracted maybe?” She teased.

Kaz rolled his eyes, choosing to stay silent.

“That’s a yes if I ever heard one.”

“You didn’t hear anything because I didn’t say anything.” Kaz almost laughed at the proud smile on his girlfriend’s face. He knew that she knew what caused him to get distracted. She just wanted him to verbally confirm it, which would never happen.

“Well, I appreciate it.” She hummed, leaning her head on her palm.

He cocked an eyebrow, confused. “I didn’t do anything either.”

“You stared at me and it actually distracted you.” She giggled into her fingers as she covered her lips. “It was basically you complimenting me. So thank you.”

“Well, you’re welcome for not even saying anything.” He eyed her jokingly, admiring the way her head fell back when she laughed. The way her eyes squinted and all her teeth shone with her bright smile. He loved her. She deserved the world but he couldn’t give it to her yet. He would be able to one day, but all he knew at this moment was that he loved her.

~

*Fall*

The howling wind whistled through the narrow streets of the Barrel while Y/N sat at a small table looking out the window of her favorite coffee shop. Late. Again. She sighed to herself as she downed the rest of her coffee, thanking the barista on the way out. She went down all the familiar streets and alleyways back to the Crow Club. The tall building and warm lights came into view, the sound of bets being called, and laughter could be heard from all the way down the street. She pushed the door open before shedding her scarf and coat off and shook out her wind-swept hair. She turned to the bar, already flagging down the bartender as her eyes caught on to the recognizable black coat that belonged to her boyfriend. In the weak attempts to tamper down her irritation she noticed her Zemmini friend standing next to him while the pair shared drinks. She trailed over to the pair and shoved Kaz’s shoulder.

“Where were you?” she hissed through her teeth, trying not to cause a scene.

Jesper nodded and quickly left the couple alone.

“I’ve been here, what do you mean?” he asked apathetically as he brought his glass to his lips. The yellow lighting cast shadows across his face which made Y/N’s stomach twist when she saw a distant look in his eyes.

“What do you mean, what do you mean?” She snatched the glass from his hand and slammed it down on the worn wood surface of the bar. “This was the fourth time you stood me up. You made me look like a fool, just waiting there for an hour, hoping the Bastard of the Barrel would actually come.”

“Don’t yell at me. Not here.” He grabbed her wrist and pulled her behind him gently. She followed wordlessly as they passed their group of friends, feeling their curious stares burn into the couple’s backs as they walked up the stairs. He let go of her hand when they made it to his office and closed the door behind them.

“You didn’t show up. Again, Kaz” Y/N started once again and he could feel her exasperation radiating off her. “If you didn’t want to come in the first place, why did you set it up?”

“I forgot.”

“You forgot,” she scoffed. “Yeah, 'cause you can remember every single detail for a heist but you can’t remember a date you set up with your girlfriend?”

Kaz stared down at his desk, guilt crawling its way up his throat but he swallowed it down. “I’ll make it up to you.”

“Right, that’s the first time I’ve heard that. Kaz, I’m sick of being last on your list of priorities. If you don’t want me or- or I’m too much work for you then tell me so. Don’t beat around the bush with me, you don’t have to spare my feelings.” She sighed helplessly, her hands swinging by her hips. “Just tell me what you want.”

He shook his head slowly before looking up at her with regretful eyes, “I’ll make it up to you. I promise.”

~

*back to present time*

Walking down the dirt roads of her hometown was nostalgic but after a while it got boring. Y/N sighed as she walked up to her mother’s favorite fruit stand and smiled kindly at the owner. Picking up fruits and seeing which were ripe was now a weekly chore for the Crow and she had to admit, it was relaxing at first but she had grown to miss the begrimed city of Ketterdam.

“What about these?”

A cheery voice caught her attention and she turned to see a couple come up to the stand a bit away from her, examining the fruit just as she was.

“The farmer’s market! How did you know?”

Kaz chuckled deeply, “Right… Because you haven’t been talking about it all week.”

Y/N laughed and placed her hand in the crook of his elbow. “I just needed to make sure you got the hint, my love.”

Y/N shook her head and turned to the owner, quickly asking for the few fruits and berry baskets she had picked up. She handed over the coins and started her walk home, her thoughts drifting back to the man she loved who waited back in the Barrel.

It’s been a year since she left Ketterdam and in the meantime, she had found a job and tried everything she could to get over Kaz. “I have more than enough money…” She muttered to herself as the thought of going back settled in her mind. She missed the Crows dearly, the Slat and Crow Club as well, but she missed nothing more than she missed Kaz.

She sighed, “Maybe I left too soon.” Kaz hurt her and she was quick to become hot-tempered, making the irrational decision to leave and go back to her mother. She never really wanted to leave but he wasn’t giving her any reason to stay, so she bought a ticket for the next ship out. Her mother welcomed her with open arms and comforted her through her heartache.

The clearing of someone's throat brought her out of her thoughts. "A letter addressed to Y/N," the letter carrier held out a small envelope to her. She smiled and muttered her thanks as she looked down at the return address. Her eyes widened at the name written in flourished lines and loops. Kaz Brekker.

“She’d understand,” she said, trying to convince herself that her mother wouldn't hold her back as she walked up the small steps to the front door. ‘I’m going back home.’

She made her way to the kitchen and placed the fruits and berries away before calling into the house, “Mom! I need to talk to you.”

*

The Slat’s main door slammed shut with the strong wind tunneling in from the narrow streets. The noise caused some of the younger Dregs to lean farther away from the limping man as he walked up the narrow staircase to his room. The low lighting in the Slat cast dramatic shadows across his sharp facial features.

“Kaz,” Wylan’s voice sounded behind him.

He spun around and stared the younger of the pair in front of him down. Jesper nudged Wylan’s shoulder before muttering something Kaz couldn’t pick up on. The couple shared a knowing look, making suspicion rise in Kaz, but he quickly pushed it down.

“Uh- never mind. Sorry.” The fluffy-haired brunette cleared his throat.

With one more glare, he turned back and continued up the stairs, his knee weak with every step. He unlocked his room door and closed it behind him. He went to hang his coat on the wall as he slipped his shoes off and instantly noticed the hook on the wall occupied by a navy blue coat and a small matching hat. Also, he could feel the air blowing into the room from the now-opened window and the soft lighting of multiple candles around the room. Y/N. Her comforting scent could have drowned him where he stood.

“I didn’t expect you to be this late.”

Kaz froze in his place, not needing to turn around to know who it was. His heart began to race at the thought of her waiting for him in his room. “You’re back.” His voice was strained as he moved her hat to place his coat on top before hanging the hat again. He turned around and fought to keep his composure.

She sat in her regular seat with her legs crossed and hands folded in her lap neatly. Her smile was warm and welcoming as she stared back at him with so much love in her eyes. “I’m back. I’m sorry it took so long.”

[toxinoire]

a villains Heathers x hero Veronica scenario where the Heathers finally found the identity of hero that got in the way of their plans.

just to not only feel horrible that the hero is their blue girlfriend but also extreme worry of why she was putting herself in such danger.

OOOH I LOVE SECRET IDENTITY SHIT

(Sorry I took a while, school happened.)

~~~~~

Heather, Heather and Heather feel victorious as the hero falls to the ground, mask coming off.

"What's wrong, hero? Can't stand up anymore?" Heather mocked.

No answer.

Just as Heather was about to blast her, she paused. She gasped and dropped her weapon as she saw who's under the hero's mask.

"Heather, what the hell? Why aren't you-" Heather's eyes widened. "Veronica?"

"What?" Heather looks at the hero, who's currently unconscious, and sees the face of not their nemesis, but their girlfriend.

The only person that has given all three of them a sense of normality.

Why...why her of all people? Why did it have to be Veronica? Veronica was hurt by this place too. She was also treated so, so unfairly. And yet here she is, willingly putting herself in danger to save it.

Veronica has more of a reason to be a villain than all of them do, they would know, for even Heather, Heather and Heather themselves has caused a lot of pain in Veronica's life before they had resolved it. Yet...and yet she chose to save.

Heather carried Veronica and brought her home.

"We'll have to speak to her when she wakes up..." Said Heather.

Heather nods. "We do. Why would she endanger herself like this, every single day, for this stupid place that had caused her to hide for so long?"

"I don't understand it either." Said Heather. "Then again, Veronica has always been better than us."

"I don't know if I can handle this..." Said Heather. "We've fought her for years on end, we were about to win, until our Achilles' heel got shoved in our faces when her mask fell off. We almost died multiple times as villains. And just now Veronica, the hero, almost died." She sighed. "I'm glad the mask fell off, I don't know if I could've bared it if I learned we killed Veronica."

Heather nods. "Yeah..."

"She...she believed in us despite us proving her wrong so many times...we've moved forward from that. But it seems we're still hurting her." Said Heather.

"I hate this." Heather sighed. "I never wanted to hurt Veronica ever again. But we did. We may not have known, but the fact that we never even caught it..." She looked at Veronica. "Among those scars...which were the old ones and which were from us?

Heather shrugged. "I dunno, but my best guess is majority of it."

They don't know what to do. This is not how they thought the reveal would happen, nor did they even think that it could've been Veronica. Yet here they are. W-

"Guys?"

[typellblog]

Tsubasa Family - An Analysis

With this arc, we jump to an interesting point in the chronology - familiar in the sense that our narrator has already recounted its events, but nonetheless our first glimpse at his state in between his encounters with both Kiss-Shot Acerola-Orion Heart-Under-Blade and Hitagi Senjougahara. Third in this trio of life-changing individuals is Hanekawa Tsubasa, and I think if this book has one single question to answer it’s why Koyomi isn’t dating her already.

Tsukihi and Koyomi’s talk about love brings this to the forefront of the narrative. Koyomi’s clear inexperience means he struggles to realise obvious signs of him having a crush on Hanekawa, and also allows Tsukihi to eventually convince him that he doesn’t and is just overly horny instead. It’s more convenient for him. He doesn’t really want to think about confessing because he thinks it would trouble Hanekawa, someone that he couldn’t possibly imagine being into him in return. 

I find myself coming back to the thing mentioned in the prologue, the essential similarity between Hanekawa Tsubasa and Araragi Koyomi. The difference between them and Hitagi or Kanbaru, who ‘live their lives facing forward’. To some extent it’s been obvious for a while - both of them putting others over themselves, choosing to act like a good person without really believing themselves to be one. The difference, then, is in Hanekawa’s strength of will, in being someone who can, at all times, in all situations, continue to do the right thing, despite not feeling any particular attachment to that process at all.

That’s one of the conclusions to this arc. The idea that the Sawari Neko didn’t take advantage of her pity, but rather rewarded her lack thereof, acting according to Hanekawa’s will instead of its own. Her desire to be ‘normal’ is the source of all irregularity in this incident. 

Koyomi is different. Koyomi can’t help but feeling for almost everyone he encounters. He’s careless, doesn’t always do the right thing, but despite it all will end up helping out anyone.

When Hanekawa saved him during the events of Kizumonogatari, she did it in the same way as she buried the cat. Calmly, coldly, as though it was the most natural thing in the world. She didn’t pity him, she didn’t look down on him, she simply saw him as an equal. 

So we are told in this arc, but one thing left unmentioned is that Hanekawa was in love with him. 

And while that’s a story for another time, it’s also a story we’ve already seen. Tsubasa Cat. This whole time, she was building up stress from not being able to tell Koyomi her feelings, he was unable to notice because of his idealized view of her in which she’d hardly think that highly of him, and as a result, out bursts Black Hanekawa, here to settle things on her behalf. Koyomi couldn’t become her hero, so she made one herself.

Once again I find myself wondering about the chronology here. Tsubasa Cat ‘skips over’ this first incident - the central trick, that there was never a difference between Hanekawa and the cat, is elided, in favour of making Kuro more of her own character. Perhaps a result of being separated by Kokorowatari in this one? 

But precisely because of that, we have an original enough scenario awaiting us in this arc. One where Kuro fights a hundred exorcist battles against Oshino and beats him every time, with the knowledge she has from fusing with Hanekawa. One where she holds back, avoids killing him, because she’s one with Hanekawa and still feels like she owes him. One where Oshino couldn’t defeat her exactly because of the depth of that combination - it’s pointless to exorcise the cat if the human wants to do the exact same things. Oshino’s style is always to balance things out, resolve the deeper issues. But it seems like Hanekawa’s issues are beyond even his deft hand. 

Another of the things that Tsukihi and Koyomi discuss is the vibe people’s clothes can give off - regardless of whether you’re wearing black or white panties, a person’s true nature shines through. A chaste person will seem chaste even in provocative black panties, and vice versa for a lewd person wearing white. Their only mistake - confirmed when Koyomi gets a good look at what Hanekawa is wearing early on - is to think that a person’s nature can be only lewd, or only chaste. This is a realization he talks about in Tsubasa Cat. Good people aren’t always good because good things happened to them. Sometimes one’s circumstances are so bad they have no choice but to be good. It’s not black or white. Good people sometimes act badly, too. Hanekawa Tsubasa is both. At the same time. 

Look at her reaction, when Koyomi exposes her. He has her briefly talking without the cat puns, confirms she does at heart have the same impulse to help him. She ‘showed no signs of guilt’. There’s no disconnect. Is there anything more Hanekawa Tsubasa than ‘seeming oddly cheerful’ while standing in front of your crush wearing only your underwear? She acts normal even in the most abnormal situations. 

The point of the Sawari Neko’s tale in the first place is that the cat and its victim are one. A virtuous person buries a cat, starts acting weirdly, is presumed to have been possessed by a spirit, but turns out to have been just doing that on their own. Just because they’re superficially viewed as a virtuous person doesn’t mean they won’t act out. It can make it more likely, in some cases. 

The way Oshino puts it, ‘turning out to never be a cat at all’ would be the worst outcome, it would leave Hanekawa stuck like that, in cat mode, permanently. It’s why he’s so worried about not finding a cat in the grave that it was first buried in, and why Koyomi nonetheless finds that the cat is there when the incident is over. Oddities, after all, are a way of shifting responsibility, something that we blame when we can blame nothing else. Rather than reckon with the fact that Hanekawa simply had the desire to do those things all along, we find it easier to resolve things by saying a cat made her do it.

This isn’t just a convenient excuse for Koyomi, who doesn’t want to think badly of her. It isn’t just a convenient excuse for Oshino, who completely failed in his role as a specialist here. It is, perhaps most importantly, a convenient excuse for Hanekawa Tsubasa, who, despite being fully conscious the whole time, still pretends she’s bewitched by a cat. 

That’s what Koyomi shouts to her. You’re still you. Stop trying to pretend you’re something else. Stop pretending that you’re weak-willed enough to get bewitched by a cat. Stop acting like your human vulnerabilities work as an excuse to become something entirely inhuman. Your life sucks, it really does, but trying to work off stress by attacking people isn’t going to change it.

This whole Black Hanekawa thing doesn’t really work if she allows herself to consciously acknowledge she’s putting on an act, because then she would realise the conflict between it and her usual maxim of always doing the right thing. Perhaps that conflict is what results when Kokorowatari separates her from the cat and it lashes out at her psyche?

But for that moment, Hanekawa writhing on the floor, unsaved even at the cost of Koyomi’s life, there’s a further interpretation I want to advance here. Koyomi shouts at her. He’s a bit cruel, a bit unsympathetic. Some of it’s his true feelings, no doubt, but he’s also trying to make her angry, get her to attack him. It seems to work. “Just die.” She repeats it for over two pages - only to reveal that at the end she’s referring to herself. 

We talked about vampirism as a representation of Koyomi and Kiss-Shot’s suicidality during Kizu. We mentioned that Hanekawa dealt with similar issues, but not how her oddity plays into that. Because in Tsubasa Cat it really doesn’t. But here there’s a whole other layer to it. If Hanekawa isn’t freed from the cat’s control within 10 days, it will become permanent. There will be no choice but to kill her. 

Does Hanekawa know this? She is the cat. If we take that seriously for a moment-

“Farewell. Go have a happy life.” the cat says to Koyomi when she leaves after meeting him at school.

“I will disappear after I hunt another five hundred people.” I? Who’s I?

The pain after being struck by Kokorowatari - in Tsubasa Cat, Koyomi says that everyone that the cat attacked was for Hanekawa’s sake, even herself. Here he says the same, that it can’t just be the cat’s random whim, because it’s been consistently and completely on Hanekawa’s side this whole time. 

Because when she picked the cat’s dead body off the ground she didn’t pity it, didn’t feel sorry for it. But she is the cat. When Koyomi shouts “There isn’t anything sorry about us, is there!?” is he talking to the cat, attacking Hanekawa, or Hanekawa, picking the cat up from the side of the road?

The Sawari Neko. Meddlecat, curse cat, whatever you want to call it, the pun is in the verb sawaru - to touch. Touching her will drain you. It will curse you. Regardless of her will. Because the cat, because Hanekawa, doesn’t know about her own power. She doesn’t know everything. 

The way Oshino puts it, Hanekawa’s parents are her fault. She acted in such an abnormally perfect way that they were unable to face her. Frankly if you’ll allow me to insert my personal opinion for a moment I think this is fucking stupid. In the anime you can pretend it’s just how Oshino puts it, but in the novel the narration makes it clearer you’re supposed to take him somewhat seriously. Hanekawa really did curse the people around her, purely through proximity. She ruined the chances of them becoming a proper family.

For that reason, as the cat,  she pushes Koyomi away, saying he’ll be cursed on contact with her. However, it’s too late. He’s long since been bewitched by the cat. So much so that he wants to die of it. 

Is it such a stretch to imagine that Hanekawa might feel the same? Someone like me, who curses everyone I touch, I should just die.

Koyomi’s rant, then, takes on a different tone. He’s desperately begging her to accept her current life because he doesn’t want her to throw it away.

Go on, say ‘I only know what I know’ like you normally do, because there’s still so much in the world you have to learn about.

He says this while dying himself. The question we had at the start, why a relationship between them wouldn’t really work, beyond Hitagi’s interference, seems obvious to answer now. Both of them keep so much to themselves, take everything on themselves, save everyone but themselves. This is the only place their relationship, on its own, could ever end. A mutual suicide. 

It takes Shinobu’s intervention, just as it did in Tsubasa Cat, to save them both. That similarity makes the difference so much more obvious. He doesn’t ask for her aid out of an understanding of the value of his own life. From start to finish, he refuses to believe that Shinobu actually cares enough to save him.

We might ask, as we did with Tsubasa Cat, about the placement of this arc. It’s fundamentally kind of odd, the ordering of the rest of the series aside, to put the two like this, having to recap the start and end of this one to fully explain the other.

I can’t fully answer that question. But one thing I can say is that Bakemonogatari couldn’t possibly have ended with Tsubasa Family. 

And that's all for now. Hanekawa stocks are rising a lot for me this time round. I barely remember what happens in Neko Shiro so that should be fun.

[chibi-celesti]

Twisted Tonelico (A Twisted Wonderland x Ar Tonelico Tale)

Prelude: hymmne fountaina akata*

Long ago, it was said that Songs had unique powers that transcended beyond what people once believed. Songs had the power to heal the sick and cure diseases, build the beauty of nature, and even the power to create new lands and sanctuaries all throughout the world. People would cherish the gifts Songs made and carried these beliefs for millennia.

Unfortunately, these beliefs would eventually disappear. The people began to hunger for the power of Songs, wanting to use them for themselves and their selfish desires. This in turn led to endless conflicts amongst the people; those who wanted to use Songs to help others versus those who wanted to gain God-like powers and rule over all. And soon, this conflict swallowed the world whole in inky black, drowning everyone into a grand reset.

Many years have passed since then. Life in the new world had changed, evolved into a newer, twisted lifestyle different from the world of the past.

And as for Songs…well, they too have vanished from the world. The people have long forgotten how to sing…

~Twisted Tonelico~

Book Prologue: ->Entering: Phase 00- Zenva ryushe tes gyas gyenel ciel

Darkness, as far as the eye can see. That is all a young woman was able to see, and yet she is unsure how even ended up in this dark void. Every head turn just showed more of the vast darkness before her. Fear and anxiety filled her heart. Where am I, she wondered.

As soon as she began to panic, a strange object glowed in her peripheral vision. She turned in the direction of the mysterious object. The object: a mirror with an eerie, greenish glow. It startled the woman for a moment before she drifted closer to it. As she drew closer, the woman began to hear someone speak. As though this person seems to be talking to someone; talking to her.

“Ah…my dear beloved…”

The young woman was surprised by this. “Dearly beloved…? Me…? Who are you…?”

The voice continued. “A lovely… and noble flower of evil… Truly you are the most beautiful of all…”

The woman couldn’t help but be flustered by the voice’s compliments. However; her, evil… that’s ridiculous; there is no way she exists to be evil, right?

“Mirror, Oh magic mirror on the wall… Tell me…Who is the…”

As she grew closer to the ominous mirror, its reflection began to glow and ripple like a water’s surface showing her a dark…castle? Horses are pulling a strange cart? Am I in this weird vehicle? Nothing was making any sense to her right now.

“Those who are guided by the Dark Mirror…As long as your heart desires…Take the hand that appears in the mirror…”

Suddenly, a hand appeared before her in the mirror, reaching out for her to take. The woman hesitated, not sure who or what lies beyond the mirror, and why they wanted her. She reached forward, touching the mirror and pulled back when she saw it go through like water. The owner of the hand looked to reach out a bit, as if begging her for help, to not leave them alone.

The voice spoke one last time, “For me, for them, for you. We are all running out of time…” They sounded like they were in pain. And it squeezed her heart, as if she too felt their pain.

Stealing her resolve, the young woman reached out to the hand again, and held it with hers. She felt herself being pulled into the mirror, and almost into the embrace for the figure before her. Once she went through the mirror, her consciousness began to fade. The last thing she saw were eyes that glowed like stars in the night sky, and the person before whispering: “No matter what…Never let go of my hand.”

When the young woman woke up again, she awoke to darkness again. However it was different; she felt like she was inside a small box. She can move her arms but not much. And the object in front of her (a door?) wasn’t budging either. Where am I?! She panicked. The woman kept pushing and pushing as her anxiety increased. In a last ditch effort to break out of her box, she called upon a small ball of light to blow away the door. “Please work, please work, please work!” she chanted. Enough light gathered, she blasted the door-as well the rest of the box- open!

To witness a sight she did expect to see at all…

Countless people donned in purplish-black robes, a tall peculiar man wearing a bird masked and odd top hat, a foreboding mirror next to her and… coffins. Many coffins surrounded the platform she found her on, and, as she turned her to see, was in herself (though hers is a pile of planks and splinter debris).

All eyes were on her. Shock, confusion, and awe decorated the faces of the hooded crowd and masked man. No one has ever stepped out of their coffin before their name is called before. And that explosion…was it this child’s doing? The crowd began to whisper amongst themselves at what they just witnessed. ‘What happened? Did that kid walk out of his coffin on his own?' 'Walked!? HE LITERALLY BLEW IT UP!!’ They were so baffled; the talks almost overtook the ceremony, if the masked man didn’t speak up first.

“Excuse me, but why did you do that?” The bird man questioned the confused girl.

His question caught her off guard. “Huh?”

“Why did you,” he cleared his throat. “Step out of your coffin so soon?”

Oh… she blushed. Feeling embarrassed by such a simple question. Then again, she did make a scene blowing up her coffin. “I-I just was confused. About where I was…?”

The man pondered her answer. “Why, you’re in Night Raven College. One of the most prestigious, arcane schools in all of Twisted Wonderland! Surely you are familiar with the name, my child?”

Twisted Wonderland? Never heard of that realm in Ar Tonelico before. She thought.

“My name is Dire Crowley. And I am the current Headmage of this esteemed college.”

“Dire Crowley…”

“Anyhow, since you are out of your coffin, young sir-”

‘Wait sir-’

“Step forward to the Dark Mirror to have yourself assigned to your dorm.”

Dorm!? The man was in such a haste, he pulled up the girl to her feet and ushered her to face the floating mirror.

It was a peculiar artifact, one she never saw before. A face began to appear in a shroud of green flames, wearing a formal, intricate mask. It felt as though it was staring down at her soul. Perhaps it was…

“STATE THY NAME!” the mirror bellowed. Its voice shook the young woman to the core.

Calming her nerves, the girl said. “Meryu. Meryu Melenas.”

“…Meryu Melenas. The nature of your soul-” The mirror halted its speech. Peering deeper into the girl- Meryu’s- being. It lasted for a few seconds before it gave its verdict.

“-Is unclear to me.”

The crowd was awestruck again. Crowley spoke back to the mirror, “Is that so?”

“I sense magic once lost to this world. Magic that transcends beyond the limits of this world. Magic that will bring ruin- or rejuvenation. Therefore, NO DORM SHALL FIT THEM!!”

The hooded crowd was baffled again; this time by the mirror’s judgement. What type of person has ‘other-worldly’ magic, but ISN’T fitting for any Dorm?!?!?!? They gossiped amongst themselves, while Meryu bowed her head in shame.

The Dire was beside himself. “I don’t believe it. This has never happened before. A young man with potential is considered NOT worthy of Night Raven College?!”

Meryu wanted to correct him, but her remark and the commotion was halted by another voice.

“HEY!!! IF THEY’RE NOT WORTH COMING TO THIS SCHOOL, I’M GLAD TO TAKE THEIR PLACE!!!!”

Suddenly one of the windows shattered, an intruder appeared on the scene.

“ALLOW ME TO INTRODUCE MYSELF! I, THE GREAT GRIM, WANNA JOIN NIGHT RAVEN COLLEGE!!!”

~Phase 00: Zenva ryushe tes gyas gyenel ciel -Tes biron**~

>///////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////<

Hymmnos Key(Warning! These are loose translations):

*hymmne fountaina akata: A song of a buried tale, or this case ‘The story of a long, forgotten melody’

**Zenva ryushe tes gyas gyenel ciel: “Transcend on a journey into the World of Evil Wizards”, or basically “Welcome to the Villains' World”

***tes brion: to be continued

Prologue: Part 1, Part 2, Part 3, and Part 4(End of Book 00)

[orime-stories]

Expressions of Grief

Aurelle Silmontier - Final Fantasy XIV

(Heavensward Spoilers in Initial Blurb)

-

Everyone is grieving the life lost at the Vault, each in their own way. And some of those ways are more compatible than others. Full story below the cut. (1411 words) Previous Story / Next Story / Read on AO3 / Tumblr Masterlist

-

The dignified silhouette of Count Edmont stood before them, his back to them, cane clutched tightly in his hand. Beseeching them in controlled bursts of speech to leave, to press on with their mission and avenge his son. His hurt ringing all the more loudly through his valiant efforts to stifle it.

Time stilled as everyone stood there in silence, rooted in their own pain. Desperately trying to squeeze that pain down, afraid to learn how much might be left in ashes were the roiling conflagrations given opportunity to spread beyond each person and combine.

It was Alphinaud that broke the silence in the end, with a simple condolence, words and dialogue always having been his comfort. But carefully chosen as they were, those words rippled out beyond themselves. Everyone shuddering against the impact.

Count Edmont’s cane clattered to the tiled floor, metal against stone flinching through Aurelle as it did. As he sank to his knees and began to weep, proud posture sagging, shoulders heaving. And everyone just stood there and watched.

If Alphinaud could not abide silences, Aurelle could not abide this. She moved to the side of the man that had welcomed her so warmly into his home. That they had failed so utterly. Kneeling down, she folded an arm across his shaking back.

“We should reconvene at the Congregation,” Alphinaud faltered. “We should discuss our next move with Ser Aymeric.”

“I’ll meet you there,” she responded flatly.

“Are you—”

“I’ll meet you there.”

His mouth closed and he nodded once, averting his eyes. “We shall wait for you.”

And once they had all left, she pressed her forehead against the Count’s shoulder and wept with him.

—

She perched herself on one of the seats before Aymeric’s desk as the others filtered back out of his office, their meeting concluded. He was back in his armour, and giving no sign that he had so recently endured what the Echo had seen fit to show her but moments ago. The callous words Thordan had so clearly wounded him with. The jeers of the Heavens’ Ward as they began their ‘questioning’. The first gauntleted fist smashing into his abdomen, mercifully all she was forced to watch before the present returned to her, head pounding with the strain of yet more tears, and Alphinaud’s hand a steady pressure on the small of her back.

A pressure she was sorely feeling the absence of now.

“I… We’re not at your home,” she began once they were safely alone. “So I can’t… I can’t touch you here, can I?”

He shook his head in confirmation, the measured gaze of the Lord Commander still firm on his features.

“I hate this,” she choked against the sting. “I hate this so much. How am I supposed to—” Deep breaths. Pinpricks at the corner of her eyes even so, voice wobbling. “Please don’t make me go out there.”

She saw the heartbreak flinch through his eyes then, before he closed them to smother the feeling. To regain his composure. To choose to be sensible in a world that had long stopped making any sense at all. To tell her that he had no choice but to send her away, and she no choice but to go out there and fight what no-one else could. Again.

“Aurelle…”

“I just wish you would’ve told me,” she tried instead. “How much danger you were putting yourself in. I had no idea, but everyone else seemed… I wish you would’ve told me.”

His head dipped in sombre acknowledgement. “I did not wish to give doubt a chance to undo my resolve,” he explained with a calm she wanted to bristle at. “Confronting my father was the right thing to do. Even were it at the cost of my life.”

“Why would you gamble that?” she almost wailed. “Why would you gamble that without even telling me.”

Another measured breath. Another infuriatingly rational set of explanations slotting into place upon his Commander’s tongue. “I would give my life in a heartbeat if it ensured the safety and prosperity of this city,” he said with that conviction she had so admired in him. “I have sworn to serve, and I do not make hollow oaths. And ‘tis important I lay that truth explicitly down before you, that you may operate without illusion, and make your choices accordingly. I live for Ishgard, and as such my priorities… I imagine they are difficult for anyone seeking a certain, closeness, with me to accept. Something I would never demand of you. Of anyone.” He took another steadying breath. “Therefore, if you would rather—”

“Don’t,” she flinched. “Please. Please don’t take this from me. Not today.”

Guilt flashed across his eyes. But this time it softened into a sorrow that persisted there despite himself. “Aurelle… For what little such sentiments may be worth… I am sorry. For the pain I have caused you, I—” He swallowed. “In the end… ‘twas not my own life I gambled, was it?”

Slumping back in her seat. Utterly, utterly lost. Haurchefant had always known how to pull her back to the warmth of the hearth in moments like this. With his fierce hugs and his easy smile that held nothing back. That did not care what other people thought, that loved so easily and so openly.

She felt none of that in this room.

She needed to see her grief mirrored in the people around her. She needed to be touched, to be reassured, to be shown the boundaries of her pain. She needed to scream. Until the cold, dark walls of the Congregation shattered. Until this whole rotten city and its sea of icy masks sank back into the abyss it had dared crawl out of. She needed…

“I need to go.” She rose to her feet, eyes burning with angry tears that would have their way soon enough, headache be damned.

“I wish that it were not so,” he offered softly, gaze now fixed on the desk before him.

He was hurting too, she reminded herself. He was hurting he just didn’t know how to show it. Grasping for the last threads of her sanity, determined to leave some kindness in parting before seeking her solitude. Before releasing her grip to watch the pieces of her scatter where they may.

“I’m glad you’re not… I’m glad you’re okay,” she said gently, sincerely. She needed him to know that part, and it had gone too long unsaid.

His gaze remained fixed on the desk, motionless and silent. For just long enough that she wondered whether he was going to respond at all.

But finally, his eyes lifted to meet hers one last time. And she saw in them a man at utter war with himself. “We shall speak again soon,” was all he managed.

And so she left him to that war, hoping that her absence might at least better soothe the flames.

—

In the end she didn’t get very far. Struck motionless at the edge of the Pillars, looking out over the dark expanse that was Coerthas. That was Dragonhead. Jumping out of her skin when familiar armoured footfalls approached.

“I know,” she sighed morosely. “We need the Warrior of Light.” Not the wilting flower.

“Forget that,” Estinien growled. “Recall instead the time I reminded Alphinaud that you were not merely a weapon to be pointed at his enemies.”

“I’m not sure Aymeric heard that particular talk,” she replied tonelessly.

“Then I shall make sure he hears it. And I shall not mince my words.”

“He’s right though. I don’t have a choice any more than he does. If I stand aside the city falls.”

“You do not stand alone. We shall face Thordan together, and we shall fell him as we did Nidhogg.”

“He’s attempting a Summoning. You’ll get tempered.”

“Not if my lance pierces his skull first.” His simplicity was a balm. “He shall die for what he did to the Lord Commander. For what he did to you.”

She turned then to give him a puzzled look. “He didn’t—”

“He took from you. And he shall die for it,” he vowed. “Now go back to Fortemps Manor. Rest. Gather your strength for the morn.” And then after a beat where she did not answer. “Do not make me employ force.”

She didn’t think Estinien one for idle threats. So she gave one last heart-weary sigh and then obediently turned and dragged her feet towards the manor.

[fnafsbheadcanon]

If Security Breach was a TV series part 2

Season 2:

* this season is less intense than season one ( least at frist) , this season Mostly about the gang trying adjust to their new lives in the city all living In Vanessa's little apartment while Dealing with emotional and personal issues that each of the gang faces (like Mony's anger issues, chica eating problems, Roxanne low self-esteem, Glamrock Freddy Existential crises* Vanessa and Greogry having to deal with their past ) and trying to resolve these issues together while still trying achieve of their goals there *

* everytime one of the animatronics need to go out, it play out like a stealth mission trying to be spot by the other residents of the building *

* there even a episode where Greogry and Vanessa have to hide the animatronics from Vanessa's family in her little apartment, this episode is where we learn even more about Vanessa's past along with Greogry *

* there a blind old lady that live all by herself in the lower levels of the building that always Roxanne for no reason all, at first Roxanne didn't like this old lady but later grown fond of the elder especially when she learn that the lady used to be a racer *

* Roxanne frist run into the oldest when she was looking for parts for Monty in the basement *

* the old lady would tell Roxanne stories about her childhood and surprisely Roxanne is super invested in these old stories and would ask if the lady have anymore stories she like to share*

* Plot A would be about Vanessa seaching for clues about the message that William sent all sherlock holmes style with Daycare Attendant( mostly sundrop )as her Watson while getting themselves in trouble along the way*

* as you can guess Vanessa didn't want Day Attendant help to help at first but surprisingly Day Attendant is a really good assistant *

* In fact with Day Attendant help, Vanessa was able to find out that Wil didn't sent the message to just one person to a whole group of people yet they almost get themselves kill when they found out about this information *

* Plot B would be Glamrock Freddy and Greogry looking for Bonnie while Glamrock Chica and Roxanne search for part for Monty *

* While seaching for Bonnie, Glamrock Freddy would tell Gregory old stories of when he and Bonnie was once a duo back in the old days*

* unfortunately Glamrock Freddy and Greogry was unable to find Glamrock Bonnie yet did find some else..Greogry biological Parents and a wave of angst and drama is released as Gregory biological Parents never care about him and just him as a mistake that need to get rid of and only want him back to make profit and to better their image this results reveling more of Gregory backstory*

*luckily Gregory's biological Parents plan failed they were punch into jail by Glamrock Freddy who afterward take Greogry back home to the family that actually care about him *

* Greogry and Glamrock Freddy didn't find Bonnie but someone else did *

* one day when Glamrock Chica was wondering the city with Monty looking for parts to fix him with. )Roxanne was unable to come since she was busy helping the old lady she befriend recover from horrible illness) they ran into a chuck e cheese restaurant where Glamrock Chica decided to enter the backstage and ask the powerful rat himself he if he have any extra parts left over she can use to fix Monty while Monty himself stay in the dinning area *

* everything Is fine for a while until someone approaches Monty and ask him if he was feeling comfortable in passive aggressive torn *

* Monty was able to respond with a yes yet he cut himself off when he saw who him the question, he look up to a familiar purple rabbit giving him a death glare *

* Monty murmured "Bonnie " in fear before launch himself at Monty and the two begin to brawl with each other while the customers just awkwardly watch them, with a few customers making bet on who going to win*

* meanwhile Glamrock Chica and Chuck E cheese are having a nice little conversation that end with Glamrock Chica getting the parts, she was about to thank Chuck when they hear a loud crushing sound along with some screaming *

* They quicky follow the screaming into the dinning room where they sew Monty and Bonnie fighting on the floor *

* * Chuck quickly pulled Bonnie away from Monty while Glamrock Chica pulled Monty away from Bonnie putting a end to the fight *

* a bunch of angst and drama is released in this episode as Bonnie explained how Monty ruined his life punching Monty in the stomach with alot regret and gulit( Monty did feel a little bit of guilt of what did to Bonnie before this adventure in the city and now he regret it even more)

while Glamrock Chica and Chuck does there best to calm down the situation between the two *

* They were at least able to stop them from killing each other but Bonnie gave Monty the sink eye while Monty just down at the floor in guilt *

* Bonnie was call into the manager office after his little fight and the manager try to kick out Bonnie out of the band since you know a harm a customers yet lucky Chuck E cheese was able to convince the manger to let Bonnie keep his job *

* after that mess, Glamrock Chica try to convince Glamrock Bonnie to come back to Vanessa's apartment with them yet he refused not want to be anywhere near Monty yet he quickly changed his mind when Glamrock Chica told him that Glamrock Freddy miss alot and been looking for him for days *

* Bonnie agreed to come under one condition, Monty have tell everyone what he did to him, Monty broken and feel with guilt Agree to this and they all leave Chuck e Cheese with Mony's new parts and a old friend by their side *

*When they get back to Vanessa's apartment, the frist Bonnie is greeted by is a hug from Freddy and Chica along with Roxanne in fact everyone hug Bonnie except for Monty who just stood by himself all alone knowing that he deserves to be in this big Family hug as he tells everyone what he did to Bonnie*

* Monty would spent the rest of the season trying to make ahems with Bonnie yet Bonnie keep giving the stink eye and making him feel like doesn't belong in this family that the only thing he done is harm the family *

* Monty would even try to Run away but Roxanne stop him even though she anger at him for be did to Bonnie, she still care about him and don't want to lose him so she does her best to comfort him*

* They progess to have a deep and meanful conversation with each other giving us a backstory of how Roxanne got into the band and what happen to Glamrock Foxy *

* this conversation cheer up Monty only a little bit yet it enough for him to come back and to once again try fix all the mistakes he created*

* Bonnie and Monty relationship will remind cold and bitter until later episodes of the seasons especially when Monty push Bonnie out of way of a giant machine that William afton's cult built to smash childen into iny pieces ( also in this episode is vwhere Vanessa and Daycare Attendant find out what Willaim afton's cult plans are, the cult is planning to go on a mass murder spread acoss the country by turn friendly machine in deathly machines along with causing a massive blackout and if nobody stop it million will died on suffer )

After almost dying to a giant walking

machine the two start to warm up to each other yet Bonnie opinion on Monty's would remind Mostly on the fence until the season finale *

* there are a few episodes that focus on William's cult and how dangerous they are depise most being hidden in the shadows, they still are huge threat manipulating innocent people that they kidnapped, contently trying harm Greogry and his robot family both emotionally, mentally and physically, the cult were able to get away with all the crimes they committed due to the city police being corrupt and most of them are actually cult members*

* in the season finale, William Afton's cult took over the whole city and as you can guess they turn every friendly machine into A Bloody thirty monster out for blood this results in the city slowly collapsing

* the only machine that are stil safe is Gregory's animatronic family due to Vanessa using her hacking skill to make sure the cult didn't have access to any of thier code but I won't last long*

* which mean must find the source of the virus and destroy it before being taken over themselves while helping as many people as they can *

* at one they have to fight the Chuck e cheese crew in order to get closer to the source which you can tell which you can tell really hurt Bonnie since he grown fond of Chuck e Cheese and his friends during his time with them*

* unfortunately slowly each of Gregory's animatronic family either get separated from the group or got taken over by the virus only leaving Monty and Bonnie left to stop this madness *

* They were able to find the source of the Virus on top of the city's tower after fighting of many of William's afton cult members only leaving the leader of the cult in their way*

* it was a tough battle that end with Monty basically sacrificing himself to save Bonnie from being taking over by the virus along with taken out the leader of the cult by knocking him and himself along with sousce of the virus

out of the six story window as the building tower collapse into tiny pieces ( don't worry it a fake death he will be back in season 3 yet he isn'himself due to the virus still being inside of him but more evolved and dangerous, the source can't b destory this time because Monty is the source of the virus now yet he can't spread it as fast yet it still a threat the gang have to deal with in season 3*

* his sacrifice save the whole city and completely change Bonnie's option on Motny*

* the city may be save bit they lost a friend on the way *

* and the finale end with the whole gang siting down on the roof of Vanessa's apartment as the sunset before cutting to a close up of Monty's eyes opening and turning purple *

End of season 2

[athyathye]

Sweet and Psycho

Author’s note 📝: Toman with a Harley quinn! Reader? Damn. This is just a scenario by the way!

Warnings ⚠️: Curse words! A whole lot of violence! And a whole lot of Harley Quinn.

❥ “Are you the devil?” You asked the teenage boys who stormed into the place you were currently held captive in. Hands tied behind your back as your eyes glowed with hope.

❥ “....I guess?” Mikey replied to your remark, glancing at Draken who glanced back at him with an unreadable gaze. “You y/n?” “Look Mr. gang leader sir, I’m not trynna’ get into more trouble here-” “Draken, you carry her.” He deliberately ignored your comment after confirming your identity.

❥ “Rude. K*saki’s gonna come for you, ya know? You took away his guinea pig” You spoke from Draken’s back, the boy hauling you to his shoulder by his leader’s command.

❥ “You’re letting yourself get caged like this? Rumors told me you were reckless and sh*t...ah, guess they were just rumors then.” Mikey looked directly at you, grabbing your hair to make you look at him. “Aren’t ya gonna do the same anyways? Even worse? Use me as bait? You look like sh*t by the way” You chuckled lowly, his lifeless eyes giving you such a nostalgic feeling...you hated it.

❥ Trying to ignore the creepy feeling of you being spot on in your words, both of them said nothing else as they hauled you to their motorcycle. a familiar looking girl following them once they’ve gone out of the place where the ‘mastermind’ K*saki had hidden you.

❥ “Hey...you! Girly! I’m speakin’ to ya’!” You spoke from Draken’s hold, tight and cold you’d describe the sensation, he was holding onto you like how one would to a fragile vase. Though in this situation, you were nothing fragile. Your body was. “Hey, easy on the hair there, you know how hard it is to take care of it, right braid-face?”

❥ Hina, the girl you called out looked away from you. Her heart racing as fast as her mind made conclusions about the aftermath of the fight that was happening. Frankly, she was a good-natured girl, she didn’t want to entangle herself in this mess, but if her beloved Takemitchy was involved, perhaps she’d follow him to hell and back.

❥ “You don’t wanna talk to me? That it? Fine, then. Thought it was girls supporting girls.” You grumbled through the roaring motorcycle engines. Rolling your eyes at the way she tried so hard to ignore you.

❥  Both males said nothing at your chatty self, all of them seemed so...lost and confused. It was all too amusing to you ‘Vulnerable…’ You thought to yourself. Guess the night was about to become more interesting than you thought.

❥  You saw the way Mikey gazed at you. As if he was asking you to do something. “Hey, you got a lot on your mind there cupcake, wanna share? Don’t expect me to listen though-” “You...you look like you’ve given up on life.” He boldly stated.

❥  “Huh? Excuse you, I ain't’ the one with the empty lookin’ eyes here!” You exclaimed in disbelief. “But, you’re close aren’t ya? Lookin’ for peace? Maybe somethin’ to clear ya mind?” You tried to egg him, Hina and Draken clinging on every word that comes out of your mouths. “No..peace isn’t real. If I live in peace, that would only mean I would be ignoring everything that’s around me.”

❥  “Man you’re so depressing. Happiness would probably suit you better. But the price is too high am I right?”

❥ After a full illegal ride to where the fight was destined, they took no time in gathering themselves up, as well as you to make a grand entrance.

❥ “I DIDN’T LOSE! LEADER!” You heard the high and determined voice of a person you knew everybody was almost obsessed with. It was envious really, his will, his resolve, his patience. Everything you wished you had, he had them. A person worth admiring, but a person not worth being in your opinion.

❥ “Thank you...Takemitchy.” The breathless and dazed tone of the man in front  of you was heard. “Draken-kun!?” Again with their little reunion, you sighed from his back, still dangling on his shoulder even through the whole ride.

❥ “You...is that...Y...y/n?” You heard him ask to which you jovially raised your head to meet his from the back. “Y/N L/N! NICE TO MEET YA’” You smiled carelessly, even holding your hand up to his direction, ignoring the gasps of surprise.

❥ “No way…” Seems like you were famous in their world. Having been sent to juvie 3 times...and on the loose for the 3rd one.

❥ “K*saki you’re looking quite mighty today!” You poked fun at the man who stood speechless and utterly surprised at your appearance. “You don’t look happy to see me? Why is that?” Your tone was mixed with mischief, irritation and most of all….psychoticness.

❥ K*saki looked at you with a gaze that told you just how much he loathed you right now, paying no attention to the fight that was currently going on between the two brothers in front of him. “What’s wrong? You losing? Haha! That’s rich” “Y/n…” He spoke wearily.

❥ “You finally talk!? Gonna listen to me now? Huh? What?” Everyone else glanced at your direction, attention divided in the fight and the mental fight going on between two of the smartest people in criminal history.

❥ “Ah..look at you~” You cooed, ignoring the burning stare of everyone else on you. “I created you…” You spoke, barely a whisper, but because of the silence in the area it was still heard. The boys that were currently fighting even stopped to listen to your oncoming words.

❥ “The story of the man...who was caught up in the war...who infiltrated the enemy fleet, spreading his ideologies and whatnot to soldiers, and eventually made the whole fleet turn against their leader….your tactics, you heard it all from me! You got  it all from me!” you glanced fondly at the trembling man in front of you. Enjoying the way he cowered at your stare.

❥ “So what if I did!? What happens!? I still-” “You’re a failure of a student!” you shouted at him with a crazed smile, baskin in the way he stepped back as if afraid of you. “Remember the psychology lesson on day 4? I told you…” You smiled eerily at him. Everyone else paid close attention to your words, finding it hard to gulp or even breathe through the thick tension.

❥ “I gotta admit, you did well” You leaned forward, everybody taking a glimpse of your unhinged look, it made them shudder at how...crazy you looked.

❥ “You kept winning, no you thought you kept winning even though your plan was foiled. you thought you managed to manipulate everyone around you” you praised him, his efforts and his abilities. K*saki blinked owlishly, in the past few months, you had never even looked at him with a fond look. Even when he took you hostage, he never once heard your savoury words, not that he needed them...or did he?

❥ K*saki’s heart pumped faster than ever, causing him to breathe erratically. ‘What..what now- what does that mean’ he thought to himself, glancing around only to find everyone’s attention on him, on his form that was on the ground.

❥ “The Dunning–Kruger effect. People with low ability at a task overestimate their own ability, and people with high ability at a task underestimate their own ability. How stupid of you…” Your eyes that were twinged with mischief were replaced with repulsiveness. Even though you were kind of at the same level with him now, it looked as if you were looking down on him once more. K*saki hated that feeling more than anything.

❥ “Everything was going smoothly! I...I just went wrong in my analysis! I-it wasn’t me-” “You’re right it wasn’t you hehe~” You laughed loudly at his state, he looked like he was close to losing his sanity, he misunderstood your gaze to one of pride. Maybe it was because his image of you was already morphed, but oh how he longed to see that warm gaze of yours.

❥ He was close to tears before he finally saw your smile. Unbelievably wicked and absolutely twisted. “I thought you were smart?”  It was worse than his winning gaze in his opinion. That was when it hit him “You...you manipulated me...you manipulated my memories.”

❥ “kahaha...hahaha...HAHAHAHAHA! THAT LOOK! I LIKE IT!” Your loud voice made everyone flinch, a sweat forming on their head as they dared not to glance at your cackling figure. “That’s a whole lot of crazy in a whole lot of pretty” Hanma, the right hand man of your student commented, looking at you who trembled from laughing.

❥ That was when Mikey took the lead, focusing his attention to Izana who felt his stare. Both tried to land a kick on one another as everyone else gazed at the kneeling K*saki, a powerful individual in their opinion, who got dogged around by a woman they never thought they’d encounter.

❥ “Shut up...shut up..shut up! Stop messing with my head!” He exclaimed in helplessness. “You underestimate me...you underestimate the power of manipulation...you used it so carelessly now you got trapped in my palm k*saki” The way you spoke his name filled him with an emotion he couldn’t identify. It was much more powerful than his own feelings for Hinata Tachibana.

❥ “Your strength was gained through listening to me, and your downfall was also caused by listening to me!” The more and more you began to get inside his vulnerable mind, the more he looked extremely dangerous, as if he was just a pawn in the beginning, how fitting for the self proclaimed perriot.

❥ “Shut up…” Maybe now you had just broken his sanity. Maybe now you had managed to fully brainwash him. You smiled as you saw him raise the gun that was thrown back near him, looking up to you with eyes that told you how much of a parasite you were to him.

❥ *Bang!* a loud gun being shot filled the silent area. “You’re all a bunch of nuisances.” Followed with 3 more bullets prior to the statement “Kakucho...you’re in my way, you b*stard”. The bold and mentally unstable tanned male had everyone see how unstable he was at this moment.

❥ The terror-filled K*saki laid on the ground with a newfound desperation. You, who stood quiet once he had fired the bullets, observed the area around you. Seeing how somber the atmosphere turned, you could only guess just how much influence they had on the people around them.

❥ Not for long, the coward of a man K*saki had now escaped with his own companion. Leaving you and the others to stare in disbelief at how fast things progressed. The man of the hour, Mikey, then turned to you.

“What, you gonna kill me? But I haven't eaten anything yet? What did I do to you again?”

[littleloric]

ACOTAR Gift Exchange - I Know pt. 1

Happy Holidays!! This is my contribution for the wonderful @acotargiftexchange for @nesgoddessofdeath!! I hope you enjoy this as it's fully made me team Elucien, and since it's the first time I've written fanfic in god knows how long :) and I kept changing my mind on everything until literally yesterday. This actually going much more in depth than I thought and I continue to keep changing my mind on the second half, which is why it'll be broken out into two parts with hopefully the second part posted next week!

Summary: After months of writing to each other, Lucien and Elain finally meet again that this year's Solstice celebration. Will the months of getting to know each other without the physical aspect of the bond change anything for them? Or will they go find themselves back to awkward encounters and missed opportunities?

Word Count: 2,532

-----

Elain blinked as the laughter in the other room brought her back to the cookies laying in front of her. How long had she been day dreaming? The icing on the cookies was almost solid, and a hint of warmth from them said she hadn't been in her own world for too long.

Especially since no one had popped their head into the room to see what had been taking her so long. Which was a blessing, because she didn't want to lie and say she'd been having a vision - and even then, it had been ages since she'd had one of those.

And if she told the truth...

No, she didn't want anyone to know she'd been thinking of this evening - of him. Didn't want to deal with any of the questions that would come from that.

This Solstice would be the first time she saw him in person since... since running into him in the halls of the River House months ago after he visited to give Feyre and Rhys an update on progress in the Mortal Lands and in Spring Court.

He had seemed even more withdrawn in that moment than Elain had ever seen him, as though the weight of everything he carried had been crushing his shoulders for so long that he was nearly to the point of breaking under it all.

And though she still felt awkward around him, though she didn't know how to dance around the thread that tied them together without losing herself entirely, she wanted to offer some sort of... something. Anything.

-

"Elain," he greeted, giving her a slight bow.

"Lucien," she returned, inclining her head towards him before dropping her eyes. If she looked at him too long, if she allowed the part of her that craved him to take hold for too long, she wasn't sure she'd be able to keep her resolve.

But he didn't deserve it. Look at him. Look at herself.

They could continue to dance around it, and it would continue to eat them alive.

He stared at her a moment longer, before nodding more to himself than towards her.

"I was just about to take my leave," he said, giving her a forced smile before continuing towards the door behind her. "Good day, Elain."

Elain's heart fluttered as he passed. If she let him pass, let him leave... who knew when the next time she might see him. She couldn't let the opportunity pass again, even though she herself didn't know what she truly wanted from him.

"Lucien-" she nearly gasped as she whirled around to face him before realizing she had no idea what she would say. He had turned to face her as well, clearly not expecting for her to continue any attempts at a conversation between the two.

Which was her fault. She had no illusions about that.

Which also meant it was up to her to lead the way forward.

"How..." Elain scrambled for words that could appear casual enough to cover the nerves coursing through her. "How are things?" Good job, Elain. How are things? she cursed at her poor attempt to keep him from leaving so soon. Though, if he noticed, he didn't show it as he adjusted his stance to show his full focus was no longer on making as quick of an exit as he had initially planned.

"Things are... well, things are much as you'd expect them to be, I suppose," Lucien replied. His hands folded behind his back, the gesture formal but not as... stiff as it might have once been. Elain's own hands were grasped in front of her, wringing her fingers together as she tried to navigate this new territory between the two of them.

"So, not that good then?" she asked, a wry smile on her face that brought out a mirroring one on Lucien's.

"Unfortunately," he confirmed. He hesitated as though he was debating how far he could press his luck with this conversation. And Elain couldn't blame him - he didn't know how determined she was to melt the icy wall she had built between them.

If Nesta could do it, then certainly Elain could at least try.

"The Mortal Lands are doing as well as they can in the wake of everything," Lucien continued, and Elain kept a conscious effort of not letting her eyes trail from his. She couldn't let the butterflies in her stomach continue to make him think that the reason she couldn't look at him for long was because of him. "And Tamlin is... Tamlin."

At that, Elain couldn't hide her wince. Though she truthfully had few to no real interactions with the High Lord of Spring beyond the night he claimed her sister, that in itself was enough to confirm everyone else's views of the male. But Tamlin had once been Lucien's friend as well.

"I suppose some things don't change," she said, perhaps the best way to acknowledge Lucien's statement without sounding hostile towards mention of the male that had changed the sisters' lives so irrevocably.

Not that she wouldn't mind the opportunity to give the High Lord a piece of her own mind. Especially with his recent treatment towards her m-

"Indeed," Lucien replied, a more genuine if slightly smaller smile gracing his features. Elain was overtaken in that moment by how handsome he could truly be. Even in this brief moment, his stature had changed from forcibly holding himself straight against the invisible weight bearing down on him to almost casual but hiding an energy he hadn't seem to experience in she didn't know how long.

"I am afraid, unfortunately, that I really must be leaving now," he continued, and Elain could see in his eyes that he was nervous to break this tenuous something between them that hadn't been there before.

Elain didn't want it to break either.

"It was good seeing you," she said. Truly, it was. She could feel him - hear his heartbeat - constantly, even when he was across the island in the Mortal Lands. But still, it reassured her to see that he was still going on despite everything that had happened both before she had met him and everything that had happened since.

"And you." He gave her another small smile and a bow, as he turned once more to leave. Even though she knew it would happen, that this moment would end, her heart raced as he reached towards the door.

"Lucien," she interrupted his exit once more. "How... would... well, I was wondering-" Pull yourself together, Elain. Lucien turned back towards her once more, removing his hand from the door handle to give his full attention towards her and Elain had to keep her knees from buckling under the intensity of his gaze. The soft smile he offered her encouraged her to find her words and continue.

"I know that... that we haven't- that we don't really... know each other that well," she began, cursing herself again for how poorly she was phrasing her words. Elain dropped her eyes from his gaze, unable to hold it as she tried to get the words - the feelings - out of where she'd been holding onto them for so long. He deserved to know how she felt. Her fingers were beginning to ache from how hard she squeezed them to try to alleviate some of the tension she was feeling in that moment. "And I know that that's been my choice. That it's- that it's been hard, ever since..."

"I know," Lucien said as she trailed off and her gaze instantly snapped back to meet his eyes. "I understand."

Elain felt herself deflate at the clear defeat she could see Lucien attempting to hold back and her heartbeat quickened.

"What I mean is- I know you have to- you have duties, and a job and that takes you from the Night Court," Elain continued, not allowing herself to drop his gaze again. She took a step closer towards him, still a respectable distance away but enough to show her concentration on Lucien in this moment. His gaze turned curious as he waited for her to finish what she started. "And I've been meaning to ask- well, for a while now but this is the first real chance I've - that we've had - to see- to talk to each other and- would youwanttoexchangeletterswhileyou'reaway?"

Elain couldn't place the look on Lucien's face immediately following her rushed question, and the silence after seemed to stretch and she couldn't hold his gaze anymore because he was going to say no, that this was a stupid idea, he was going to say that it was too little, too late, and he had already moved on with another female he had met during his travels and why would he continue to wait on a wo- a female who hadn't given him the time of day over the past few years and maybe he would let her down gently or maybe he would-

"You..." Lucien began, and her eyes snapped instantly back to his own. What was he thinking? She wasn't familiar enough with the thread between their souls to be able to read it. "You would like to write to each other?"

A blush creeped along Elain's cheeks as she realized how insignificant this gesture could appear. Surely, exchanging letters as a method of getting to know one another was too human to be truly meaningful to Lucien when their souls were already tied together.

But no. No, she wouldn't second guess this.

If Lucien had ever really cared about her, he wouldn't mock her in this even if it didn't match Fae mating customs. She wasn't even sure if it wasn't, as her the only mated couples she knew were her own sisters and those were most definitely not examples of a typical mated pair.

"Yes," she answered, resolved in her desire. Lucien could reject her, as he had every right to do. But she wouldn't do it for him.

"Yes, if you like," she said, holding his stare. "I would like to get to know you."

Elain couldn't name the look in Lucien's eyes as he replied, "I would love nothing more."

-

Tonight would be the first night they'd seen each other again since that last meeting. Months had passed, letters exchanged about any topic under the sky they could think of.

Some letters were as simple as updates on Lucien's work as emissary or Elain's progress with her baking skills or garden.

Some would contain stories of their lives, like the time Jurian and Vassa convinced Lucien that it would be a good idea to use his flames to make Vassa's entrance to a delegate meeting even more dramatic.

Others would give each other pieces of their pasts - Elain's childhood always being the buffer between Nesta and Feyre or Lucien's memories of walking the grounds of the Forrest House with his mother.

A few would find them focusing on their deepest wishes.

Lucien's desire to have a home that couldn't be taken away from him.

Elain's need to feel loved and accepted even without a smile on her face.

Nuala and Cerridwen were the only Night Court members who she had told of her letters to Lucien, and helped the two with their correspondence. Whether Lucien had told anyone about them, or whether the twins reported to Rhysand or even Azriel of their assistance, she wasn't sure. She could safely say neither of her busy-body sisters had found out as evidenced by the lack of either of them cornering her.

Which would be quite the interesting conversation that she wasn't sure she really wanted to have.

It was safe to say however that Elain was excited to see Lucien again, whereas previously she had anxiously dreaded his visits, though last time the anxiousness had been for a completely different reason. She hoped Lucien was also excited to see her, though she didn't know how they would respond to each other now in person that they had already bared their souls to each other in their letters.

After all, letters were much more easier - at least to Elain - to be articulate and ensure she could say everything she wanted to.

But being surrounded by her family - his friends - would throw another variable into the mix when they thought Elain and Lucien couldn't bear to be in the same room together.

Which would definitely be an interesting conversation that was certain to happen tonight.

More laughter in the other room finally spurred Elain to grab the now finished tray of carefully decorated cookies and make her entrance just as Nesta and Cassian took seats on the sofa nearest the table Elain was now heading to place the cookie tray - no doubt purposeful so that Cassian could be the first to try her newest recipe.

Smiling, Elain greeted her sister with a quick kiss to the top of her head as she passed, grateful that they had been able to work through everything that had happened recently to be able to enjoy each other's presences. Placing the tray on the table behind them, Elain turned to survey the scene in front of her.

Nesta and Cassian casually relaxed on the sofa, Cassian's arm thrown around Nesta to keep her close to his warmth. Feyre was closer to the fire, helping Nyx play with some of his new toys she seemed to have let him open earlier this evening. Amren and Mor were gathered around the dining table while Varian shared a story about that year's Summer Solstice. Rhysand and Azriel were huddled in a corner, locked in a game of chess that didn't seem to be progressing at any sort of speed as they weighed each move.

Even seeing Azriel didn't hurt as much as it might have previously, the thought of everything that had transpired between the two becoming just another footnote in what was soon to be a very, very long life. Something that she was still getting adjusted to thinking about.

The only thing missing was announced by a knock at the door before it opened, revealing the person she was truly anticipating. She could feel her sister's no-so-subtle glances at her, gauging her reaction as her mate entered the room.

She paid them no heed. Couldn't even remember why she had initially thought of continuing the facade of icy indifference as her eyes locked onto his, a small smile much more genuine than her usual, everyday mask, greeting him and once again mirrored on his face.

"Lucien!" Feyre exclaimed as he entered, clearly noting Elain's different reaction to the male but not able to bring attention to it in the moment, and a chorus of greetings from the rest of the occupants accompanying her.

It was as though Lucien couldn't hear them, couldn't see them or acknowledge them, as his eyes were still on Elain's.

"Happy Solstice," she greeted, quiet but loud enough that he could hear the words solely intended for him. His small smile grew into a joyfully smug smirk, as he replied loud enough to be intended for the room but his focus was entirely on her.

"Happy Solstice."

[sailormoonandme]

Usagi’s Evolution as a Healer Goddess

The other day I saw a post discussing the evolution of Usagi’s fuku and it occurred to me how Eternal Sailor Moon’s costume was her first Senshi uniform to ditch the tiara. 

That in turn led me to consider how that kind of makes Usagi weaker as it removes a very useful weapon for her. After all, if you include the movies, Usagi uses some variant of Moon Tiara Action in practically every season prior to Stars.

However, dwelling more upon it I realized how this tiny change was all too appropriate for Usagi’s character development.

Firstly, by supplanting the Tiara with her Moon planetary symbol, Eternal Sailor Moon more closely resembles both Queen Serenity, her own Princess Serenity form and her future self as Neo-Queen Serenity. 

Since all three are objectively more powerful than Usagi typically is as Sailor Moon I think the change emphasises how she has ‘levelled up’ in her Eternal form. When combined with the angel wings, Eternal Sailor Moon shifts Usagi visually closer to her future self as NQS, which in the anime is implied to be her most powerful incarnation.* It is almost as though the visual was communicating that the Divine Miracle Magic that she’d previously drawn upon as Princess Serenity in Classic-SuperS had now become ingrained in her standard Senshi form and thus was more accessible to her. 

It was in thinking of her previous efforts as Princess Serenity that I inevitably recalled her duel with Metalia/Beryl in episode 46 and realized that Eternal Sailor Moon was the first time since Classic that Usagi’s default attack was a healing  technique not a destructive one. 

Moon Healing Escalation was Usagi’s first healing technique but until Starlight Honeymoon Therapy Kiss (and it’s later upgrade, Silver Moon Crystal Power Kiss) it was also her only healing technique. 

Between regaining healing techniques and ditching her tiara/other destructive attacks/weapons, I think this represents her subtle growth in both her power and status. After all, it is a sad fact of life that it is easier to destroy something rather than fix it, thereby making the latter far more impressive.**

This skewing towards healing power rather than destructive power is also (arguably) thematically appropriate given the nature of Sailor Moon as a female power fantasy as (rightly or wrongly) the act of healing is typically coded as feminine. 

We can even take this further by examining things from the ‘opposite direction’ as it were.

Consider that in the climactic final episodes of Sailor Stars, Eternal Sailor Moon’s healing technique actually fails her when used against Galaxia. In later episodes, upon adopting her Princess Serenity form (complete with larger and more obviously angelic wings), she uses a sword to duel Galaxia.

Obviously a sword is, at least predominantly, an offensive weapon and can therefore be viewed as symbolic of aggression; let’s leave any Freudian or gendered interpretations alone for today. Her use of the sword is highly uncharacteristic (in the anime). Even her explicitly offencive weapons (like the Cutie Moon Rod or Spiral Moon Heart Rod) weren’t as clearly aggressive nor obviously violent. Desperate times calling for desperate measures? Perhaps, but we might also speculate it was her subconsciously reacting to grief. Not only can grief make you act in ways you wouldn’t normally, but a sword after all was a weapon wielded by her lover in his Prince Endymion incarnation. Her lover whom Usagi had just learned Galaxia had murdered. In other words, amidst her grief she reacts by going too hard in the other direction after healing her enemy proves ineffective.

However, when all is said and done the sword fails her.*** Ultimately is simply escalates the conflict by prompting Galaxia to become Chaos Galaxia and thereby make Usagi’s chances of victory all the slimmer. If we wished to stretch things, you could perhaps say that this is a commentary about how war and violence ultimately begets yet more war and violence.

Even if that is an over extrapolation though, it still served to emphasis the point that a sword is not befitting of Usagi, that she was doomed to lose if she continued to battle with destroying her enemy as the end goal.

In fact, her road to real victory begins when she not doesn’t attack Galaxia but makes it easier for herself to be attacked. In the end, Usagi doesn’t confront her most powerful enemy as the God-Queen of the future, the demi-goddess Princess of the distant past, the sailor-suited soldier of love and justice in the present, nor even a humble school girl.

She does it by literally stripping herself of all those things, of stripping herself of everything in fact.

Her weapons? Gone.

Her other items, like her Tiare? Gone.

Her comrades? Gone, and they’d be powerless against Galaxia anyway.

And finally, even her clothes? Gone!

Beyond the Silver Crystal (an outward visualization of her heart/soul) and the angel wings (symbolic of her role as a saviour) she is completely (but tastefully) naked.

Usagi visually and quite literally is more vulnerable  than she’s ever been, even more so than on her first night as Sailor Moon.

And yet this is Usagi at her actual most powerful.

It is her distilled to her absolute essence as a person, all other trappings removed. She’d just one person showing another they will categorically not harm them, that they bear them no malice and they have nothing to hide. That openness and compassion is what ultimately enables her to connect to the good within Galaxia and pull her away from the darkness that had corrupted her.

Usagi in this moment completely fulfilled her character arc.

·      In the Dark Kingdom arc Usagi destroys (or seals away depending upon your POV) Beryl/Metalia.

·      In the Hell Tree arc, Usagi resolves the over all plot via a healing technique (although it is functionally similar to a destructive attack). However, that only happens because the Hell Tree both instructs Usagi to do that and because it lets her. It is the equivalent of a sickly doctor instructing a nurse on what to do to make them better. The nurse might have the power but their agency as a healer is limited.

·      In the Black Moon arc, Usagi, with help, destroys Wiseman/Death Phantom. 

·      In the Death Busters arc, Usagi does save Hotaru and ‘purify’ her. However, like the Hell Tree, that was something Hotaru wanted. Additionally, her purification functioned as a way to heal the body of someone sick and who wanted to sacrifice themselves, not someone actually evil. The evil in question was Pharaoh 90 and it is presumed that Usagi destroyed him (although it might’ve been Hotaru or the pair of them together). 

·      Forgive me for skipping the Dead Moon Circus arc as Chibiusa is the real protagonist there, and Usagi’s role is chiefly as a rescuer. It therefore doesn’t really apply, although the Nehelenia mini-arc from Stars is a different story. There, Usagi was a healer again, but she did it with the help of her loved ones and with the aid of her Tiare device. Nevertheless, we can see by this point Usagi’s capacity as a healer heroine had been gradually growing until we get to the battle with Galaxia.

By the end of series, Usagi has successfully healed Galaxia and it is neither with the aid of her comrades, nor with the power of a weapon or device, nor with any instructions from her ‘patient’ or any other third party.

Additionally, Galaxia (unlike Hotaru) wasn’t someone’s who was saved from a noble self-sacrifice or had a physical ailment that needs to be addressed. In Galaxia’s case, her very soul had lost it’s way and become corrupted. She had lost who she was supposed to be and her purpose in life had been perverted.****

When combined with how powerful Galaxia always was, how Chaos and the Star Seeds empowered her further, Usagi’s victory here cannot be understated.

Her ‘patient’ was more powerful than all her other adversaries, was in need of more healing than her other ‘patients’ and was more resistant to being healed. Not to mention, since she’d directly murdered her beloved friends (and indirectly aborted her future daughter), Usagi would’ve been forgiven for not  even trying to salvage Galaxia 

And yet, with no weapons, no backup and just the power of her heart and soul basically, Usagi succeeded. 

After Stars the idea that Usagi could heal the entire planet after a global catastrophe and reshape it into a fairy tale crystalline utopia was all too believable.

What’s healing one planet when her ability to empathise had already healed a whole galaxy?

Who needs a tiara to reduce evil to dust when you can simply convince evil to be good?

*This is arguably symbolized by baby Hotaru’s vision of NQS transforming into Eternal Sailor Moon in episode 1 of Stars.

In fact, we might argue that a low-key subplot running through all of Stars (both the Nehelenia and Galaxia portions of it) is gradually transitioning Usagi closer to the person she is destined to become as Neo-Queen Serenity, hence why the first episode features the most explicit reference to her fate as Queen since R. 

**Personally I am an atheist, but nevertheless I and others like me can grasp why  deities in most major religions through history weren’t simply capable of mass scale destruction, but also of essentially manipulating reality to create  things too.

By that same token, it’s little surprise that perhaps the widest spread religious figure in history was Jesus Christ who rarely (if ever) engaged in aggression or destructive acts, predominantly employing divine healing powers.

I suspect the attraction of such figures to human beings lies in the fact that on some level we know that, given the right time and resources, we mere mortals would be capable of destroying anything. Given time it’s all but certain we will develop the technology to even destroy planetary bodies. On the flipside, I think we also intuitively grasp that  reversing  such damage, of reattaching a limb, of stanching bleeding, etc, is far more difficult if not impossible. Hence we attributed the ability to do such things to larger than life Divine Entities.

*** Now that I think of it, it’s also poignant that Usagi tries and fails to defeat Galaxia with a sword when we take Sailor Uranus into consideration. 

Uranus is of course associated with her weapon, the Space Sword and, like Usagi, tried and failed to use such a weapon against Galaxia.

Giving Uranus a sword is symbolically appropriate given her role as the leader of the more aggressive branch of the Sailor Team. Having her fail against Galaxia and Usagi consequently fail by in some way ‘mimicking her tactics’ is equally symbolically appropriate. Not only because of their ideological conflict in Sailor Moon S but also their tensions in Sailor Stars itself. In both situations Usagi’s more open, less aggressive, ideology was ultimately proven correct. 

Thus in using a sword against Galaxia it represented how Usagi was always doomed to fail by taking the aggressive/destructive route and how she was arguably not being true to herself in that moment. 

****It’s not to dissimilar to Darth Vader/Anakin Skywalker now that I think about it. 

[theyreonlynoodlesmike]

A Reading: Part 10 (Poly!Lost Boys x Fem! Witch Reader)

<- Previous Chapter Next Chapter ->

Warnings: cursing, the frogs are canonically jerks, prejudice,

Word Count: 3k

"Bye, Lucy!" You called, walking out of the video store. It had been a few months since Max's death, since the time you'd accidentally stumbled onto the town of Santa Carla. Summer had left, as well as most of the summer tourists. Yet, you had stayed.

You'd stayed as a safe avenue of communication between the Emerson's and the coven at first. You and Mrs. Johnson talked terms, this time without Grandpa's presence, and dictated what would happen after. 

It was decided the boys would stay in Santa Carla, as would the Emerson's. They'd live in avoidance, mostly. The Emerson's wouldn't tell anyone about the coven, would call off the Frogs, and the boys wouldn't attempt to turn or kill any of the Emerson's, or their friends. And, for the first few weeks, avoidance had worked. Until Star needed to get some of her things.

All of the Emerson's, except Grandpa, came to the cave. It was quickly decided that the boys didn't feel comfortable having a retired vampire hunter know where they slept, but that didn't mean they'd been successful in avoiding an interaction with the Frogs. You'd watched how the boys hovered, not knowing how to treat the brunette as she hurried to stuff what she needed into trash bags. They'd decided not to leave the humans alone in their den, but to spend the time acting as if they simply weren't there. Michael stood by the entrance to her room, but it was proven quickly that he was no help at all. He avoided eye-contact with any of the boys, and almost hadn't even introduced himself to you. The only help seemed to be Lucy, and, quickly, you understood why Max had risked so much for the woman. To the point of getting himself, and almost his son's, killed.

She'd regarded you all with a warmth that was uncommon from anyone not apart of the supernatural world, and her first words had been,

"Wow, this place is amazing!" As she looked around the cave. After that, it'd been hard to be anything except nice to her. She quickly ruined the boys' original plan by introducing herself and asking for their names, and you saw the boys look uncharacteristically embarrassed when she mentioned something about a motorcycle interaction. "And you are?" She asked, and you'd given her name freely. She'd looked you over, and then at the boys. You could see the wheels turning in her head, and she tried to politely ask, "Are you...one of Max's children?" She asked, and you laughed in surprise before quickly shaking your hands.

"No, no. I'm not- I'm human. I'm just-" You'd been cut off by a gruff voice, one you quickly realized belonged to one of the camo-wearing teens. The one wearing the red bandana to be precise.

"A witch." He said, like the simple word disgusted him. He and his brother were standing near the stone steps, with the youngest Emerson only a step besides them. You frowned at the wannabe hunter, part of you wishing you'd given him more than a scare that one day, but you glare quickly proved to shake whatever tough resolve he had. He and his brother took a step back, as if you might curse them. Lucy was quick to say, 

"Edgar! That's not polite." She said the last sentence with a tilt of her head, and you couldn't help but smile at the look she gave him. You heard a snicker behind you, and you knew it was Paul without having to look. The Frogs looked at eachother, before Edgar shuffled his feet and muttered an apology. Even if it was a sorry excuse for one, you accepted it. She gave him a warm smile, and then one to you as well. She lifted her brows and moved her shoulders, her voice sweet as she said,

"Well, let's get started, shall we?" You helped her help Star. She took her time to actually fold the clothes before putting them into the bags, while Star was just throwing what she could into them. It was clear she didn't want to stay long, and she was murmuring to herself the entire time. Though, for Lucy's sake, she eventually just started giving you and Lucy the clothes for the pair of you to fold. The younger boys, to make themselves useful, ran up any bags and boxes of things that Star was going to take with her. After about a half hour, she'd gotten more brave and began walking around the cave to find whatever discarded items she claimed as her own. She didn't speak the boys, until Paul came over, to you specifically, with a box of sorted cadettes. You arched a brow and gave him a look, and he glanced over to where Star was packing in her make-shift room. 

"These ones are hers, but I don't think she wants to, y'know." He said, tilting his head towards her. You could guess the rest of his sentence. He figured Star was avoiding them for a reason, whether it be out of embarrassment or a want to distance herself from her previous vampirism. You also guessed that not all of the boys wanted to talk to her either. You'd noted how Marko had flown high into the cave, deciding to focus on spray painting something on the ceiling rather than what was going on below. How David sat in his chair, having turned it away from all of you as he read. You gave him a smile and beckoned him close. He smiled and leaned in to press a kiss to your lips, bracing his hands on your upper arms as he did so. You quietly told him,

"Thank you. You're sweet." And he accepted the compliment with a smile and a nod, before he was waltzing back over towards their music collection to rearrange it now that it was partially empty. You brought the box over to Star, asking her,

"Um, these are yours?" And she gave you a look of surprise. Her eyes flicked to the blonde that was sitting on the floor, and she gave you a polite smile and a nod before she took the box from your arms. She placed it with the rest of the stuff that she was taking, and you went back over to Lucy to help her organize what she could. You hadn't noticed the tallest of the boys coming closer until Dwayne was right besides you. You didn't jump, as you were already used to the quietest of the boys. Lucy did, however, and she placed a hand over her chest at the sight of him. 

"Oh!" She said, and both of you gave her a small grin before Dwayne held out a stuffed bear to you. You only had to glance at it once to know that it belonged to the youngest of the previous coven, and your eyes flicked to the curly haired brunette when she came out with another pile for you and Lucy. She froze at the sight of one of the vampires, and you watched as Dwaynes eyes met hers. She gulped before slowly continuing her original path, gently putting down the clothes. Dwayne held out the bear, before he said,

"For Laddie." And Star gave him a nod after she took it. Dwayne nodded back, a silent communication passing between them, before he began to walk away from where you'd set up. Before he could escape completely, Lucy suggested,

"You could- If you want to, you boys could help the others take stuff up. I mean, dear, you're going to want your bed, right?" Lucy asked the girl, and Lucy paused. She looked at Lucy, before glancing at Dwayne. Another beat passed, another moment of silent communication between the brunettes, before Star said a small,

"Yeah. Yeah, I suppose. I need my bed frame, and Laddies stuff too." And Dwayne was whistling at the other boys. The only one that responded was Paul, who was pushing himself up to stand and jogging over. You didn't expect David to come, he wouldn't respond to something like that, but you sighed when the three of you glanced up at where Marko was stubbornly sitting. Paul scratched his head, and you sighed.

You knew Marko was stubborn. You'd quickly found that out after living with them for a few weeks. He was only second to David, but he'd quickly decided to take Laddie and Stars reinstated humanity as a personal insult. It didn't help that some of the humans present were supposed to be the ones that murdered him. You looked up at him and called,

"Marko?" While he wasn't completely needed, you knew things would go smoother if he did. Plus, it would help make them look better in the eyes of the non-supernatural beings. Marko didn't say a word in reply, but you saw his head turned. He narrowed his eyes at the Frogs, before his eyes shifted to you. You tilted your head. They'll leave quicker if you help, you thought, and you watched as he slowly shook the can. And you can just get Laddies stuff, you added. He considered it, but ultimately shook his head. It seemed he wasn't ready to move on yet. You bit your lip, shrugging as you looked at Paul and Dwayne. Under his breath, you heard Alan mutter,

"Vampires. Bad hosts." And the Frogs looked up to see you and Dwayne glaring at them, while Paul rolled his eyes and shook his head. Lucy gave him a look, but didn't correct him. 

"I'll get Stars bed." Paul said, and he walked brazenly towards Stars room. "'scuse me, chica." Paul said as he passed Star, and lifted the bed up like it didn't weigh a thing. When he was out of Stars makeshift room, he was able to lift it above his head easily. "So, like, how are we doing this?" He asked, and the humans, the ones who hadn't already been half-vampires themselves, stared at his show of strength.

It was quickly decided that they were going to strap a bed to the roof of each car, as they'd brought two, and they would strap the bed frames on top. Moving the beds was easy for the boys, with Dwayne and Paul simply carrying them up towards the darkness of the night. The only issue was the bedframes. They were awkward to lift and not as flexible as the mattresses themselves, so they still had to be carried by two people. You were just about to offer to help Paul carry up Laddie's bed while Michael and Dwayne tried to get Stars through the entrance of the cave when you heard a flutter besides you.

"I got it." Marko said, reaching to give your arm a squeeze. You gave him a wide smile. Thank you, you thought. He leaned in to press a kiss to your cheek, before he gave you one of his mischievous grins and said, "No problem. You just owe me one now." And he was quick to dance himself out of swatting range. You watched as Paul let out a small cheer of,

"Hell yeah, man." And clapped him on the shoulder. "I'll go first." He said, and lifted his end of the bed. Marko lifted his with ease, but quickly said,

"No way. You're gonna fall on your ass if you lead." And he moved to hold the bedframe behind him and the pair of blondes went to follow the brunettes into the tunnel. It went, admittedly, a little smoother than the brunettes had gone. You blamed it on Michael not having a comparable amount of strength, and not on the fact that he couldn't follow Dwaynes directions when he told him he was tilting it the wrong way.

Lucy had sided up next to you, watching the boys with you now that everything had been sorted and packed. With nothing else to take up and most of the vampires gone, the younger teens were having a look around. They avoided the side that David was sitting in, and you shook your head when you watched them pick up one of the boys' many finds. You saw that Lucy had noticed as well, and you watched her open her mouth to undoubtedly tell them to put it down.

"It's fine." You said, cutting her off and assuring her. "The boys are hoarders anyways." You joked, earning a light laugh from her. The two of you were quiet for a moment, and you opted to watch the boys until the three of them noticed and quickly stopped touching whatever they had been. Again, the pair of you laughed. After a moment, Lucy knocked her arm against yours gently, saying,

"Well, I think we made a good team today." She started, and you gave her a nod in agreement. She was nice, and you were sure the boys agreed too. After a moment, she said, "The boys...They seem rather taken with you." She commented, and you knew what she was too polite to directly ask. If you were honest, you didn't know what you were to any of them. You'd been their protector, their ambassador, and now...You weren't sure. But you knew that David hadn't rescinded your invitation to stay yet.

"Yeah." You agreed simply, keeping your reply vague and looking over towards the platinum blonde. To your surprise, he lifted his head from his book. He glanced over at you, something swirling in his eyes that you couldn't quite place. You sent him a small wave, and he responded to it by giving you an arch of his brow. You rolled your eyes. You should've known that David was allergic to any form of being nice. When you went to glance back over at him, he was standing besides you. Alright, that made you jump.

"Lucy," He started, his eyes flicking to the short-haired woman besides you and ignoring you altogether. "You still work at Video Max's, right?" He asked, and the woman almost seemed a little surprised that David knew. Or, maybe, that he was even talking to her. She gave him a nod, and, before she could verbally respond, David said, "How would you like to own it?" And your mouth nearly fell open at the offer. You were quick to look at the woman besides you. She lifted a hand to her mouth, pausing as if she didn't know what to say. He'd caught the younger boys attention as well, who looked ready to pounce and protect at the slightest sign that this was a trick.

"I-I," She paused, running a hand over her face. "Own it?" She asked, repeating his words. He gave her a charming smile, one that could make even an elderly woman blush.

"Well, we inherited it after Max's death and we don't really have the same," He paused to find the word. "Interests as he did. You already work there and it practically makes money just by being open, so," He paused to glance at you. You'd been wondering what he was doing, why he was doing this. It struck you then. He'd been swimming around your head, and this was his attempt at being nice. "If you want it, it's yours." 

Lucy would've had to be stupid to refuse. She'd been the owner since that day, and David had been right. Even with all of the tourists gone, the store still made money just by being open. Lucy had sent the teens up while she talked with David about the store, and the three of you had gone up to find an interesting sight. 

Dwayne and Michael were still trying to tie the bed-frame to the bed, before Star finally bat away his hands and helped Dwayne tie it. Marko and Paul had already finished, and you saw the pair of them talking to Sam of all people. The Frogs seemed to have decidedly pulled away from the vampires at first, but it seemed that they'd subconsciously moved closer to hear the boys' conversation. You saw him commenting on all of Markos patches, which Marko showed off proudly, and Paul was yapping a mile a minute about the thrift stores they could show Sam so he wouldn't get scalped by the boardwalk prices. You even heard him add a small jab of,

"Like some people." And you watched as Michael gave him a half-hearted punch to the shoulder. Michael seemed to do it without even realizing, seeming shocked with himself, and momentarily terrifed, but Paul was already laughing it off. "Ooh, do it again Mikey I think I liked it." Paul joked, and you quickly cleared your throat before he could say anything worse in front of the woman besides you. Lucy has gone over to go fret over her son's, questioning Michael just on how frequently he punched people, when David had reached for your hand. The leather was cool and smoothing against your fingertips, but his hold was strong. He gave your hand a squeeze when you looked at him, and, for the first time, you thought David almost looked relaxed. He'd given you a tug, but it was you that stepped closer and let him put his arm around you.

Since then, the avoidance rule had been discarded. Laddie had been momentarily adopted by the Emerson's until they found his birth family, which was proving to be harder than they thought. Laddie had been a runaway even before the boys found him. Dwayne and the others wanted to be apart of the little boys life, even if it was just to babysit him on the boardwalk. This led to a strange, silent agreement with Star. Even though you didn't know any better, you almost wanted to say that her moving out and distancing herself had been the best thing for their friendship.

Speaking of friendship, Sam had developed a sort of one with Paul and Marko, one that exasperated Michael to no end. Especially when Paul claimed that he preferred his little brother. And Michael? It had taken the longest for Michael to truly shed any lingering negativity he had towards the boys, but it was decided that he would have to eventually when Lucy offered you a job at the store. One that you'd been hesitant to accept, but had decided to so you could pay the boys some sort of rent. Even if it was only to make you feel better about your current living situation. Even if it lead to you being even more tied to Santa Carla, and the vampires that inhabited it.

But you brushed all those thoughts aside for now. Sam had called you during your shift, and you had a certain pair of brothers to worry about.

[chaosmultiverse]

Oz’s Siblings

So Oz’s doc mentions that he has some siblings which are the embodiments of the following: Anger, Grief, Desire, Despair. and I thought I should go a bit into each of them

Grief - Ara (From the name Arachne)

Ara was born in the aftermath of the big dang to mourn the universe that had just died, at this time it was only them & The Goddess (The one that contracts the Coven and a story for another day), She and The Goddess disliked each and fought often but it didn’t truly mean anything until life started to form in the universe. Ara found themselves drawn to the still infit earth and watcher over, soon getting to finally met gods like themselves.

Ara raised her siblings from when they were children into their late ‘teens’, keeping in mind their roles within the world to be the enemies of ‘good’ she tried to instill a desire for power and control, so they’d be strong enough to survive and meet her standards.

Ara is worshipped both by those who have lost a great deal and those that wish to inflict great deals of grief to others, when someone prays without a god in mind for the life of someone it’s she whom receives it. Within cults they are known as The God Of What Was Before.

Notably they are also the lead deity worshiped by cults that worship their whole family and sometimes is misinterpreted as the other’s mother, also being known to have made the first ghost and perhaps even the system that causes ghosts form, as in a sense unfinished business is just grief that hasn’t been resolved.

Out of the family she is the main one that works towards taking control of the world and purging it into chaos, though without ‘Dread’ around she isn’t able to make as much progress within the modern era, still with the right items and some gullible people she’d be able to make a move (aka I am open to writing a Prank Masterz type ending).

Her powers are out of her family the least restrained as she has the most worshipers and her concept has a lot of stuff that goes under it’s title, as anything from uncontrollable rage to bravery unmatched can be caused by grief so her powers are more in line with a classic evil goddess, though a lot of her powers that are defined are tied to the dead.

Their form takes the appetence of a vaguely femmene person made out of old star dust and other space debris, they have short sharp hair that frames her face and is often wearing a all black outfit that matches the surroundings. No one has ever seen their face as it’s covered by a mourning veil, and when people have taken a peak in the past they’ve gone blind and weren’t able to explain what they saw. Within the veil are faces within the lace that act as a procession.

She took the name Ara during the modern era to be better able to speak with other modern gods and monsters.

Desire - Nao (Naomi)

They were born a natural god, unlike a lot of the other gods that were embodiments of emotion they weren’t defined as good or bad, desire as a feeling can lead to great deeds or horrible deeds so for the first while of Nao’s life they were simply worshipped as a lone god that helped with wishes, the strongest form of desire.

But they grew tried of being seen as less note worthy due their lack of stakes in moral matters and got annoyed with The Goddess trying to call all the shots for all gods, to the point of renaming herself to ‘The Goddess‘ as if she was the only goddess that mattered. So Nao turned to Ara’s family knowing they would be welcomed with open arms into her pantheon/family, after this Nao started to more embody desires gone wrong, jealously and selfish wishes but they still would answer prayers for good or neutral things.

Nao is a very charming person that knows what people want, they though seem pretty detached to the people they speak with, they could be saying they would gladly marry someone but sound so uncaring. They mostly care about their own gain and fun, almost acting like a trickster archetype.

Nao’s powers allow them to always know what someone desires the most, and they have the power to grant any wish asked of them though there are always strings attached to the wish granted. It is easy to trace them to monsters like genies and other wish granters but they are always to blame for some monsters like ghouls, as a whole any wish for a form of life normally causes either death or new twisted form.

They mostly get along with Oz though are a little confused why he gave up being a true god when they can tell that he misses it, they’re pretty much just waiting for him to come crawling back.

They always look like who the viewer most wants to see, so for an example it could be the face of an old friend or someone the viewer thinks is hot, their form  avoids taking the form of children or if the viewer is into Nao of the viewer‘s family members. The form doesn’t have to even be of real people just whoever the viewer would want to see. If the viewer just wants to see them then they would see a form that is a pale white humanoid who looks like different manikins put together, their outfit is mismatched and patched together, their face is simply a glowing void alit with red fire, the flames and glow go up to where their hair would be. 

They have always had the name Nao simply because people wanted to call them something.

Anger/Rage - Id

Once known as The Goddess Of Grace, this deity was cast aside when they called out their oldest sister. With no where to go Ara welcomed them with open arms into her family. It took some time but the bitter feelings over his abandonment turned him from a deity of Grace into one of Rage, at this point he barely sees what remains of his old family as his family and is fully devoted to Ara’s family.

Id is very close with Ara and perhaps a bit co-depended on Ara as he as a really big fear of being left again and can’t rely on the groundwork he had when he was born. In a since he acts as a godly agent to her and out of the family is the most loyal to the cause.

Id is actually very well worshiped as someone to inspire those that take part in combat and within cults is known as The Righteous Flame, and as a god that is willing to take prayers from the circles of hell, especially from any demon connected to wraith.

Id’s powers mostly go into a mix of fire and power over people’s feelings, since he’s both been a god of grace and now anger he can make someone go from 0 to 100 and then right back as he wishes.

He’s got some anger towards Oz due to Oz basically leaving the family behind to become ‘Oz’ and Id feels abandoned due to that, which given his past is like the last thing he wanted to repeat so if Id ever got the chance there would be the mother of all beat downs before dragging Oz back to the family to talk everything out.

Part of him misses being ‘good’ and being worshiped as some sort of deity that could do no wrong but he wouldn’t trade away his new family for anything, even going back to being beloved.

Lastly he thinks that the Coven is lacking due to not having someone for the role of Grace and thinks that they should totally let Dahlia join, mostly because he thinks it’d torment The Goddess to no end to have someone so much like him around her little coven.

His form has a lot more of the details missing from his sibling's, his body looking like an angel that was burned/has cracks with fire under the surface, with black charred wings. His face has all of the normal details and is the only part where there isn’t seemly fire under the surface as he has light gold eyes. Clothes wise he either wears light armor or for more causal events a simple biker jacket, rippd jeans and tshirt that says “I was casted from the heavens and all I got was this t-shirt”

Despair - Pandora/Dora

Dora is the youngest of the siblings, born from the first wars between humans but trapped as basically a child until the human Pandora freed her during  Greek times, she was always the more soft hearted of the family and hated how all of her powers could do was rub salt into the wounds.

She took the name Pandora out of sympathy for the human that freed her upon the world and was the first of the siblings to actually pick a name. For a long time no one actually called her by this name but once ‘Dread’ (aka Oz) started to see the errors of their family’s ways they started calling her by Dora. In modern times the rest of the siblings do so since they modernized and don’t wanna be total hypocrites.

Within cults she is simply known as “The Lady Of Tears” though she isn’t really worshiped outside of the whole family’s worship since she’s never been known to bless or smite anyone.

In the present day she mostly spends her time within a pocket demission writing cursed fanfics and plain old fashioned cursed books which cause the readers to have ‘feels’™ forever. When she’s dragged out of hiding it’s normally because one of her older siblings either have an enemy they want to be miserable or want to vent to her.

Powers wise Dora is able to read what has made people give into despair in the past and would push them into it at that moment, she can also force people to feel others despair or even her own. When she forces someone to feel her despair it’s been known to drive anyone less than a fellow god to madness and even turn people into things like banshees upon their deaths.

Her form takes the appetence of a young woman made totally of water, if someone were to ask or test said ‘water’ they’d actually find that she is made of tears. Like Oz she has no mouth though her eyes are a lot more defined though she always seems to be on the edge of crying. She wears a simple white dress with a gold pin keeping up it’s one sleeve which looks like the box she was so long ago locked in. If she had to dress for the modern day she’d just wear a plain white sundress.

[herinsectreflection]

Faith, Buffy, Dreams, and Secret Kisses

This is one of my favourite scenes in the series. Partially because it’s just my personal jam - I admit that I am Fuffy trash, and I have a real love for dream sequences. Buffy had great dream sequences, but this is where they take a step up. It’s a precursor to Restless in this regard and others. It feels weighty and meaningful, but also a little off and incongruent with itself, in that way that only dreams are. Lines are exchanged that don’t quite follow as direct responses to each other, clashing in interesting ways. It’s packed with foreshadowing, metaphor, and other juicy things. And beyond that, it’s a conclusion to Buffy’s entire arc this season about dealing with her shadow self, and it leads to what I think is the single most romantic moment in the series. I want to talk about this scene and unpack some of what I think it’s saying.

First of all, let’s talk about the setting. We’re in Faith’s apartment, bought for her by the Mayor. Essentially, the villain’s lair, where the two Big Bads plotted their evil plans against our hero. But it’s also a set where we saw most of the bonding and semi-familial love between Faith and the Mayor. A place of both evil and love. And for Buffy, a place of trauma. This is where she makes the decision and takes the action to kill another human. I don’t think she was unjustified in doing so, but it’s still an immensely traumatic act for her, and I think she loses a little part of herself when she does it. The location is very much a reflection of Faith, and Buffy’s relationship to her. I don’t think Buffy loves Faith romantically at this point, but I think she cares about her, and remains concerned about her, and I think it’s fair to call that a kind of love. Faith is also evil, a figure of betrayal but also temptation to the “dark side”. And she is also a figure of trauma, clear deep-seated trauma that she fails to resolve, and just gets worse over the course of the season. Buffy is essentially inside her own relationship to Faith, inside a stadium of sin, trauma, love, and shattered glass. Faith looks out of the broken window that they fought through, and we are reminded that their relationship too is broken, unrepaired, littered with the detritus of conflict. There’s no going back from this - even in dreams that window remains broken, and their relationship will always have this damage.

The props too are an interesting choice. TPN’s video on Graduation Day pointed out the painting of a giant snake with a man’s head on the wall. More conflicting feelings here - the Mayor is Faith’s closest connection to humanity and love right now, and also the reason for her betrayal of Buffy. Her redemption and damnation. We also see boxes of various things piled up - including the crossbow that Faith stole in Bad Girls. The image of packing up a room into boxes makes me think of moving away as a student. We must remember that Buffy is graduating today, on the verge of packing her life away and taking it somewhere else, and this reminds us of that.

The first thing of real substance we see is the cat, which jumps up on Faith’s bed. This is one of the aspects of this dream in direct conversation with Restless, where a cat symbolises the Slayer - a specifically feminine, solitary predator that stalks the night. In Restless, we cut to Miss Kitty stalking the camera from shots of the First slayer stalking Willow. Here though, the intercut images are between the cat and Faith, lying bruised and helpless in a hospital. The cat (and the Slayer) is, as far as Buffy is concerned, not a danger but a creature in need of help.

Buffy: "Who's going to look after him?" Faith: "It's a she. And aren't these things supposed to take care of themselves?"

They’re very clearly talking about their respective approaches to slaying, and to life in general. Buffy tries to encourage ties to humanity, telling Faith back in Revelations that she is on Faith’s side. Faith retorts that she alone is on her side, and she repeats that sentiment here. But Buffy is obviously proved right - Faith is lying almost dead because she rejected all help and care.

Buffy: "A higher power guiding us?" Faith: "I'm pretty sure that's not what I meant."

If the cat is the Slayer in this conversation, then the “higher power guiding us” could refer to the Watchers. It makes sense that Buffy delivers this line with a little wry smile, given that she’s just resigned herself from the Council. This allows a little bit of ambiguity in their debate - Buffy has taken on a little bit of Faith’s advice in emancipating herself and so making herself as the Slayer more self-reliant. The show agrees that that too is the right move. A little independence is good and healthy. What Faith means when she talks about “taking care of herself” is not self-reliance or independence, but emotional hardness and self-marooning to avoid hurt. This is something that Buffy will continue to struggle with for the rest of the series. Faith is kind of right when she states that the Slayer is alone and must take care of herself, and it’s up to Buffy to find a healthy way of dealing with that.

"Oh yeah. Miles to go - Little Miss Muffet counting down from 7-3-0.”

The scene shifts a little, and we get some foreshadowing for Dawn (Little Miss Muffet), and for Buffy’s death (730 days from now). This is done with the the lighting too, as Faith faces the camera, and the light of the dawn hits her face, in a shot extremely similar to the end of The Gift.

Interestingly, Faith is repeatedly used in this way. In This Year’s Girl, Faith talks about “little sis coming” as she and Buffy make the bed in her first dream. In Restless, that scene gets a callback (”Faith and I just made that bed”), in a scene that ends with the most anvilicious foreshadowing (”Be back before dawn”), as well as a callback to the 7-3-0 line (”Oh, that clock’s all wrong”). In Graduation Day, Faith refers to Buffy as being “dressed up in big sister’s clothes”, however to me Faith has always felt more as being the “little sister” in this relationship. She looks up to Buffy yet is also deeply jealous of her. She wants to be Buffy, to have her friends, her life, the love of her mother. She’s kind of a precursor to Dawn in this respect, so it makes sense that she’s a prophet for her coming.

Slayers having prophetic dreams is well-established, so it makes sense that a dream shared by two slayers would allow them to prophesise a little further ahead in time. Faith hints at this, remarking "Sorry, it's my head. A lot of new stuff.". You have to wonder what other “new stuff” Faith is becoming aware of. Perhaps a new perspective on everything Buffy’s been saying all season. Sharing a mind temporarily is often helpful in seeing another’s point of view. Faith does seem unusually thoughtful as she looks out of the broken window and remarks "They are never going to fix this, are they?".

This is perhaps my favourite line in the scene. It’s a slight mislead, as it comes right as we get a flash of the cat-as-Faith in the foreground. So we assume it’s a reference to her own injuries, which she is expected to never recover from.

But the Faith that’s talking isn’t looking at her own body. She’s looking at the broken window. The symbol for her broken relationship with Buffy. She has become us, the audience, looking at Buffy and Faith and saying “boy, those crazy kids really are never going to work it out, are they?”. It’s true for Faith, it’s true for Faith&Buffy, and it’s true for Buffy herself. When that knife entered Faith’s gut, all three were irrevocably changed forever. You can never put back the life you had before after it’s broken like that. All you can do is take what you can work with, and try to make something new.

Buffy: "What about you?" Faith: "Scar tissue. It fades. It all fades." Buffy confirms that the previous line was not about Faith specifically by asking “what about you”, in a lovely expression of concern. After everything, Buffy does still care about Faith. Faith’s reply of “scar tissue” is an obvious reference to the literal wound she is now carrying (emphasised by the shot of the knife that Buffy sees afterwards), but it’s interesting that she gestures to her face when she says this. It feels like a reference to her entire self. If we accept Faith as Buffy’s shadow self, then “scar tissue” is an accurate description of her. As Buffy herself says, Faith is who she could be if her life was worse (or, perhaps, who she would be if she allowed the tragedies of her life to rule her). She is the part of Buffy’s unconscious self that is revealed after receiving violence. She is the physical proof of trauma. The self that remains after pain. 

Buffy: “Is this your mind or mine?” Again, hitting that note of symbiosis; emphasising how inextricably tied these two characters are. The lines between their psyches are blurred to the point of no longer existing. This is such an intimate moment, almost sexual, with Buffy and Faith unable to tell where their own mind ends and another begins. Imagine the intimacy of that - entering another’s mental space and allowing them into yours, so wholly that they become one and the same. It becomes a mutual recognition of unity and shared pain, and an affirmation of the eternal divisions between them.

I love the ambiguity of the “human weakness” line too. One way we are invited to read it is that Faith is doing a heel-face turn, and intentionally giving Buffy the means to defeat the Mayor. But we’re not allowed anything that easy, to wash away Faith’s sins with a quick redemption before the climax. Faith has miles to go before she can achieve that. It’s just as likely that Faith is talking about herself, and the human weakness that led her down a dark path, or that Buffy is talking about Faith through the Faith in her head, or Buffy is just working it out on her own, etc, etc. This is the information that saves the world, and I like that it remains an unknown. A permanent “maybe”, just as Buffy and Faith’s relationship is. 

Buffy: "How are you going to fit all this stuff?" Faith: "Not gonna. It's yours." Buffy: "I can't use all of this!" Faith: "Just take what you need. You're ready?"

As the scene reaches its climax, we see the most obvious recitation of the season’s themes. S3 is about Buffy coming into conflict with her own shadow self, and here the show tells us how she does that - by taking what she needs. I mentioned earlier that we saw the crossbow from Bad Girls, from the “want/take/have” scene. Here, Faith is telling her the same thing, but in a more healthy way. She cannot just hedonistically consume everything like a crazed id-monster, but she also cannot deny herself things that she needs. 

Most importantly, the “stuff” they are referring to is Faith’s, but as Faith says, it’s also Buffy’s. Everything that Faith is, Buffy is too, because she is her shadow self. Buffy must recognise this, accept it, and incorporate the shadow self into her own identity. She cannot be consumed by the shadow self and simply become Faith, allowing her shadow to consume her conscious personality (”how are you going to fit all this stuff?”). Instead she must recognise her dark mirror, and take the healthy parts, and integrate them into herself as an individual (”take what you need”).

It is at this point of healing and merging between Buffy’s self and shadow self that Faith reaches out, almost touches her in an action that feels so tender, and Buffy becomes conscious. She literally becomes her conscious self by making peace with her dream (unconscious self). She stands up, and walks over to Faith’s bed. This is the moment that their relationship all season has been leading to. She leans over, and places a kiss on her forehead.

This kiss is everything. It’s an act of thanks, as Buffy realises Faith may have given her what she needs to save the day (at the cost of Faith’s one familial figure). It is an act of service, as Buffy literally gives Faith the kiss she asked for when they started to fight in Graduation Day. It could also be an act of forgiveness. We know from I Only Have Eyes For You that forgiveness, Buffy learns, is done not because somebody deserves it, but because they need it. Faith at this point probably does not deserve it, does not want forgiveness (she wants to be punished), nor can she recognise it in her current state, but Buffy gives it anyway, adding another layer of heartbreak. It is given not for any purpose, but for its own sake.

Above all though, this is an act of recognition. We must consider the previous forehead-kiss that these two shared, back in Enemies, and Faith’s words directly before: “What are you gonna do, B, kill me? You become me. You're not ready for that, yet.” And in Graduation Day, just after Buffy stabs her: “You did it. You killed me.” And her words in the dream, just a few seconds ago: “You're ready?"

Now I don’t think that Buffy stabbing Faith to save Angel is morally equivalent to Faith voluntarily killing people to help an evil guy become a big snake. I don’t think the show wants us to think that either. But the line is firmly blurred. Angel says in Consequences that the act of taking a life will change Faith irrevocably, and Faith agrees. She sees herself as tainted from that point on, and if Buffy took her life, she would be tainted too. And though it’s understandable and morally defensible, there’s no doubt that a part of Buffy - her innocence - dies on that balcony when she sticks that knife in. That act is forever. The choice to do violence is permanent. 

So when Faith says “you killed me”, she is saying “you have become me”. She identifies a common nature in them. And when Buffy kisses her, returning it in the exact same way as when Faith first said those words, she is saying “I know”. She recognises and responds to Faith’s mirror by holding up one of her own. She matches similarity with similarity. She is finally “ready” to assimilate her shadow self, and does it by telling her shadow self that she sees her, and that she was right. 

The beautiful part of all this is that it is silent. Faith would’ve been aware of their unification in the dreamscape, since it was happening in both of their heads, but she has no way of knowing about this. I wonder if Buffy would ever tell her. I doubt it. This is the core of the Faith/Buffy tragedy. This is why I find this relationship so compelling. Buffy performs this act of recognition and devotion entirely in secret. It is a stolen kiss and a private confession. A whisper made to a sleeping lover. A letter written, sealed, stamped, and set on fire. It is an act of love and tenderness made entirely for its own sake, without witness or reward. 

This is the single most romantic moment of the show for me. In this show that in many ways about how when nothing you do matters, all that matters is what you do, what could be more romantic than this gentle kiss that changes nothing against this aching hole of violence and betrayal between them, but exists anyway, just because Buffy felt it needed to be done. It’s a silent moment that nobody but Buffy and us are privy to. Neither Faith nor the rest of the world will ever know it happened, but I know I for one will never forget.

[phantomrose96]

Hero Syndrome

There’s a young woman who has admired the Symbol of Peace for her entire life.

She doesn’t remember the first time she saw him on television. He’s just always been there as an eternal, unshakable constant – a comfort through every part of her life – promising to save anyone who needs him. And he does save her, even if he doesn’t know it. Because it’s his laughter, his smile, his ease and assurance speaking about rescues that keeps the flame burning in her heart when she had nothing else to cling to. He is the guiding light for her life that had no other purpose in it.

She is ignited with an all-consuming drive to follow in his footsteps. And it is a drive that defines her more than her own name.

She wants to save people with a smile. She wants to pull people from the depths of despair. She wants to stand at the top of the world and say “It’s alright now, because I am here.” if only so she can pay him back for all the comfort he’s given her in her life.  

Posters of the Symbol of Peace find their way onto her walls, into her binders and desktop backgrounds. She joins no clubs so she can spend all her free time honing her quirk. She runs more, and lifts more, and trains more than anyone else. The future she imagines every day has her standing at his side, and it is a bright, bright future.

She doesn’t get into U.A.

As much as she prepared herself for it, the reality is crushing. She sobs into her bedspread when the rejection letter comes, and stops briefly to peel the posters off the walls first, so the Symbol of Peace cannot see her cry like this. Heroes shouldn’t cry. Heroes shouldn’t give up. She can’t either. Her 4th-choice school has sent her an acceptance letter, and she’ll make sure that’s still good enough. She vows to keep working harder than everyone at U.A. to make up for it.

She graduates from her hero course as valedictorian. She’s given a ten minute slot during graduation to present her speech, and the speech suddenly means nothing and everything to her when she learns her school managed to book the Symbol of Peace as the keynote speaker. The Symbol of Peace far upstages her, and she doesn’t even care. She’s spellbound all over, and savors the ghost of the tingle in her fingertips from the brief second they pass each other. He doesn’t know this, but the moments spent sharing the stage mean the entire world to her.

She takes another vow now, to share a stage with him again in the future, as a colleague. She vows to make this moment the starting line for the beginning of the rest of her life.

When she shows up to Slice’N’Dice’s hero agency on her first day as a debut sidekick, she’s met with a bare white-walled room of peeling paint. There’s a single sputtering fan in the corner pointed directly, and only, at Slice’N’Dice’s desk. She feels the sweat trickling down her neck already, the swampy humid air, the cicadas chirping behind her, as she stands there holding her hero uniform in a box.

“I’m very excited to be working with you,” she says with a full bow. Slice’N’Dice looks up from his desk, and grunts, and goes back to puffing on the loose cigarette hanging from his lips. He’s slumped in his chair, uniform loose-fitting around rather skeletal arms and ballooned around his distended waist. He’s unbuckled his belt, and pulls deeply from his cigarette, and tunes the dial on the crackling police scanner on his desk.

“You know how to make a pot of coffee?” he asks her.

On the third day of her sidekick career, they go on patrol. Her mom has washed and pressed her uniform for exactly this occasion. She feels hope bubbling in her stomach where a rock-like weight had sat before. She wonders what it’ll feel like to have eyes shift to her as she walks, what excited kids will tug on their parents’ sleeves and point, what it will really feel like to be on this side of the uniform.

Slice’N’Dice doesn’t take her to the streets of Tokyo. They meander through empty alleys and hot, putrid industrial backways. He stops at an outdoor storage unit, and unloops the keys from his unbuckled belt, and opens the unit. Inside are bikes. Dozens of them. Dented and rusted into disrepair. He pulls out two and walks them on either side of him, motioning her to do the same. She does.

“What are the bikes for?”

Slice’N’Dice grunts.

Ten minutes more of walking, and they are standing at the mouth of a neighborhood. The air carries the pungent scent of gasoline. Windows appear as broken glass and particle boards, nailed into place. The peeling paint along the apartment facades reminds her of the peeling paint in the office.

Slice’N’Dice props a bike against a lamppost. And he pulls a small metal lens from his pocket and affixes it to the post just above the bike. On his phone, he fiddles an app open, and she sees two green lights blink on the metal lens.

Slice’N’Dice moves on. He motions her to follow.

“Why are we leaving the bike?” she asks.

“Gonna catch some thieves.”

“With the bike?”

“Yeah.”

“But you’re leaving it here.”

Slice’N’Dice shrugs. “Yeah? Ain’t telling anyone to steal it. That’s their problem.”

“You want it to get stolen?”

“We gotta resolve some incidents if we wanna get paid.”

“Then, let’s resolve some incidents for real!” She thrusts a hand out, motioning, nearly tipping and just barely catching the bike at her left side. “Let’s patrol Tokyo and stop actual crime that’s happening.”

Slice’N’Dice barks a laugh. “We don’t have a zoning permit to patrol Tokyo, are you nuts? Maybe if the 2,000 Tokyo hero agencies all go belly-up, and the other 20,000 on the waiting list drop dead too, then maybe we could stake out Tokyo.”

She falters. “We shouldn’t be creating crime. We’re heroes, that’s just--”

“431.” Slice’N’Dice holds a hand up to her, and he draws his words out, like all the smoke from his cigarettes. “I got 431 applications for sidekicks. If you’re gonna leave, leave. I don’t really care. I’ll take any of the other ones. I don’t care.”

She freezes, sick with ice in her stomach.

“…And why’d you choose me?”

“Top of the pile.”

Slice’N’Dice shuffles along. She stands rooted in place. She’d been one of only three people from her graduating class to have a sidekick offer lined up right out of school.

It had been because she’d worked hard – harder than everyone else – to be a hero. Because she – more than anyone – had dreamed of this future.

Slice’N’Dice coughs wetly. He pauses to spit into the street, and keeps on shuffling.

…

There is a young man who’s admired the Symbol of Peace for his entire life.

He’s grown up half-raising himself, enraptured by the glow of the television with the Symbol of Peace’s shining smile. It is a smile that could move mountains, and his is a laugh that could shake oceans.  The young man watched these interviews on repeat while his mother worked double-shifts through the night. Those interviews formed him, brought a flicker of hope into his small and hollow world, brought moments to his life where he did not mind the opportunistic roaches scuttling up the couch, nor the rattle of the leaking pipes overhead, nor the dense headiness of mold in the carpets. They showed him hope. They showed him a path forward.

The young man dreams every day of the life he’ll lead when he’s a hero as well. His mom won’t suffer anymore when he’s a hero. No kid will go to bed hungry when he’s a hero. He’ll smile like the Symbol of Peace smiles, and he’ll move the oceans and the mountains too.

The U.A. rejection doesn’t deter him. He knew it would be a rejection before he even received the envelope. Only 1 in 1,000 applicants get into U.A. anymore, and that number skews further out of his favor when considering the legacy admissions to U.A., and the recommended kids who’d been through expensive personal hero-training regimens, and the parents who could curry a bit more favor by offering to fund a new U.A. training ground.

The young man never stood a chance, and he knew it. He’s more motivated, if anything, by the rejection letter. He wants the chance to stand out as someone who can break the U.A.-to-Pro pipeline. He’ll start from lower, and he’ll rise above the rest, because it’s who he is at his core.

The rejection letters continue to roll in. His second, his third, his fourth choices – down to his fifteenth – all come in thin, thin envelopes, too thin to contain good news. This happens to a lot of people, he reads. The hero market is oversaturated, he knows. Caps on hero course enrollment are getting tighter, he understands. But to have every door shut on him almost shakes his hard-earned resolve.

His tenth-choice school informs him there is a General Studies slot open. They offer it to him, and he almost, almost takes it.

But the Symbol of Peace never gave up his dreams. So he won’t either.

The young man has a pamphlet on his desk for a for-profit hero school just 20 miles outside town. It boasts no enrollment cap, no admissions test, We believe everyone is capable of proving themselves through hard work! We do not let dreams die halfway! The only admission criteria is the price tag. It is steep, the kind of steep that his part-time jobs and meager savings could never cover.

There’s an old man running the backroom of the corner store who gives out loans. This man doesn’t ask for credit or credentials there. His loans are in cash, day-of, with few questions asked. The young man knows this because he works part-time at this corner store, and sees the steady stream of strung-out clients filtering in and out, wracking up debt, caught in a personal hell the young man vowed to never fall into himself. But these are the people he intends to help one day as a pro-hero. And sacrifice must become something he’s comfortable with if he ever hopes to live up to the Symbol of Peace.

During his next shift, the young man takes to the backroom, and lays out his terms while the old man breathes cigar smoke into his face, and he has the money in-hand before the end of the night.

He’ll likely have to pay it back two-fold – maybe three-fold -- in interest. The young man knows this, he is not dumb. But he also knows how lucrative the pro-hero business is for those at the top. The government payout for heroes is pittance, at best, but hero merch sales pay out in gold. The Symbol of Peace has been named among Japan’s top 100 wealthiest men for the last ten years.

He won’t tell his mother about the loan. He intends to pay the debt back before she ever finds out.

He enrolls. He pays the tuition fee. He’s given a class schedule, a uniform, a syllabus, a dormitory. He moves out, away from the roaches and the rats, and it is a dream. He sees the start of the rest of his life on the day that he and all his new classmates are welcomed to campus as up-and-coming heroes.

Two years pass when the for-profit hero school loses its accreditation.

He, and all other students, are informed in a single curt email from the administration. All staff are fired. All courses are canceled. All students have three days to vacate the dormitories. The school entity is dissolved, and there money is gone.

The world drops out from beneath his feet. He can’t take the provisional license exam without a hero institution behind him. He can’t apply to sidekick positions without a provisional license. He moves back home, and resumes his part-time job, and sends in ten applications a day to every hero course in the country that accepts transfer students. When all of them yield rejections, he focuses on applying to every internship listing he can find.

None of them want him. Not when the market is already oversaturated with applicants who have an actual hero school backing them.

Years pass around him in a blur. His every cent earned from the corner store job is immediately garnished to pay his debts that come due, and they hardly make a dent. The compounding interest builds as a rate that surpasses his pay. A lifetime of this work would never repay his debt.

The old man in the tattered wifebeater shirt calls him into the back room one day. The old man shows no malice in his sleepy eyes, but exudes a pressure the young man can only describe as blood-lust. He’s heard the man’s quirk is suffocation, and he prays that this is not the day he learns this first-hand.

“These numbers… are not trending in your favor,” the man says between long drags of the cigar in his hand.

“I know.”

“I’d like to know. How do you plan to pay me back for my generosity?”

“Hero work,” the young man answers, just as he did all those years back when he first negotiated for his loan. “I just need—”

“What hero agency is hiring these days?” the man asks. “So, so few, anymore. Hardly any, anymore.”

“I know.”

“I’m not optimistic for you, you know.”

“I know.”

“You know?”

“I just—” the young man jolts forward, pleading eyes boring into the old man. “I just need to catch one break! I just need one ‘yes’ to kick things off! I can handle everything after that. I just need your patience, until then, and then I’ll make good. I’ll make you whole.”

“I’m old,” the man says with another long drag of his cigar. “Old old old, and getting older. Money won’t be much good to me when I’m all too old and dead. We agreed on now… being when you paid me back what I gave you so kindly.”

“Please… I don’t have the money. But I’ll get it.”

“You will. You’ll earn it.” The man’s joints crack as he pushes to his feet, and hobbles into the cellar-dark back of the shop, and returns gripping a single weathered gun which he slides across to the young man. “Here. For your protection. You’re no good dead. Don’t try anything funny with it though, I’m faster than I look.”

The young man swallows. “…Why are you giving me a gun?”

“Because you’ll need it for the jobs I have for you.”

“Please… I have a job already. I work in this shop already.”

“I have many more jobs for you right now. You should be grateful. You’ve had so little luck with jobs. Take the gun.”

Hesitantly, reluctantly, the young man picks up the gun. It’s heavier than he expects. But just as cold as he imagined.

“I don’t want the gun…”

“You’ll need the gun.”

“I don’t…” he hesitates. “I don’t want to do your jobs. I don’t want to be a villain. I don’t—”

The old man wheezes out a laugh. Mirth cracks on his old face. “What even is a villain? Childish word.”

“The Symbol says—”

The young man’s breath freezes in his throat, and it is not of his own doing.

“Silence, now. You talk to much. Your mother talks too much too, about you. Shopping here, all the time, for you two. Chatter chatter chatter. I like to make people quiet. It’s good for my peace of mind.”

The young man exhales forcefully. His breath comes back in gasps. His world crushes in around him.

“Now, would you like to hear about the new jobs I have for you?” the old man asks.

The young man shuts his eyes tight, and he wills, prays, hopes for this to end. And nothing answers his prayers.

“…Yes, I’d like to hear about my new jobs,” the young villain answers.

…

There is a boy who has admired the Symbol of Peace his entire life.

He plays hero in the park with his two friends every day of elementary school, even through wind and rain and snow and scorching heat. Their games are squall rescues in the rain, and avalanche missions in the snow, and desert expeditions in the heat.

Those two friends are his only two friends. They go elsewhere for middle school, and he is left alone. And his every attempt to make new friends is squashed by the bullies that have found him to be such a deliciously easy target. He endures it, he accepts it, he channels all his hope and all his faith into the Symbol of Peace. The bullies’ words hurt less when he trawls through video playlists of interviews, and motivational speeches, and candid rescues. There is no hurt, and there is no danger, and there is no unfairness where the Symbol of Peace is involved. When the boy’s parents divorce, when his dog passes on, when his grandmother gets cancer, he watches the Symbol of Peace’s interviews on loop.

The boy stops bothering trying to make friends in middle school. The enormity of the task ahead of him is too much and too important for friends. He trains alone every day during recess instead, and after school, and into the night, and early in the morning. Every pull-up is another imaginary meter scaled in a mountain rescue. Every mile run with his weighted vest is a collapsed hiker carried out of the woods. Every deadlift is raising the roof from the victim of a hurricane. Every heat-exhausted quirk honing session is another life saved.

He’s sure to smile, every time, no matter what, because one day there will be real people he rescues who need to see that smile.

He is 12 when he buys a police scanner.

It’s not a real one. More like a repurposed ham radio, rigged up to the emergency response frequencies. He purchased the radio online from a man with the username radrigs89, and the purchase eats up most of the boy’s savings. He’s heartbroken when he finds the radio does not actually pick up signals.

But he doesn’t give up. Instead the boy pours all his free time into rigging it up properly himself. He needs this to work. Because he knows from the Symbol of Peace that a true hallmark of a top hero is having stories of bravery from their middle school days.

Three months after his purchase, he strikes gold.

The raspy speakers crackle out with police chatter. He sits enraptured in his room, idling away his Friday night listening for anything nearby. Anything he could get to on his bike. Any scene that would need his quirk. Most things that comes through are traffic infractions, or noise complaints, or incidents with heroes already at the scene. The boy decides to be patient. He’ll know in his gut when the right report comes through.

Just over a week later, at 10pm on a Saturday, there is a fire twelve blocks from his home.

He is on his bike from the moment the address is relayed over the radio.

The ride over is a blur. His fingers tingle. The building is an apartment complex. The police are at least fifteen minutes away by car. There are no heroes yet on the scene.

He takes the final left too hard and wipes out, bike skidding away horizontally beneath him. He bounces up to his feet and pays it little mind, because the air has spiked hot, because the red-orange light dances and reflects in his eyes, consuming the building, consuming his thoughts. It is like a heartbeat licking inside the windows, and it compels his body to move without his mind.

Residents are crowded in the street below, pajama-clad and chilled in the night air. And he spots her – a little girl, no older than five, gripping her mother’s nightgown and wailing. The little girl has practically gone limp, held up by her balled fists in her mother’s clothing, screaming “MY BUNNY! BUNNY! WE GOTTA GO GET BUNNY!! WE GOTTA SAVE BUNNY!!!”

“We’ll buy a brand new bunny after this, okay? I promise. Brand new bunny! We can get two bunnies who are friends, I promise. I promise.”

“NOIWANTBUNNY!!!!”

The boy races over, and he crouches to the girl’s level, and he smiles. “It’s okay now! I’m here! There’s no need to cry now. I can rescue your bunny. I have a quirk just right for this! Where’s your bunny?”

The little girl blinks through her tears. “My room.”

“What apartment?” the boy asks.

“No. Dear. No please, I promise we’ll get a new bunny!”

“2…. 2-J!” the girl answers.

“HEY WAIT!” the mother yells after him, but it is too late. The boy has turned heel and run. There’s fear in his heart, sure, but heroes fight through fear. There’s a voice in his head saying “turn back!” but he has to act without thinking if he wants to rise to the likes of the Symbol of Peace. The bunny. The bunny is a life worth protecting. The little girl’s smile is a smile worth protecting.

He bursts through the front door, and he curls his fingers to activate his quirk. A chill sweeps through the hallway, dragging the air from scalding to breathable. His internal temperature ticks up just a fraction.

The stairs, only one flight. He scales it, the white floral wallpaper glowing with am amber ambiance from the flames eating the scaffolding behind it. He rounds into the hallway where the heat claws into his throat once more. Another tensing of his fingers, another activation of his quirk, another gust of chilled air. He feels his brow grow hotter in recoil.

All doors have been flung open all along the hall, including the one marked with the 2-J plaque beside it. He wastes no time entering, and hesitates only a moment as the first bare sight of fire meets his eyes. The living room is consumed, the lemon couch scorched to half a skeletal frame, the television melted unrecognizable. Aerosolized plastics, wood, and fibers assault his throat, so hot he feels he is breathing in a solid mass. It reduces him to a fit of coughing, soot taking out his sight for the moment. His fist curls, a gust of cold air blasts through, and he is breathing again. Just a bit dizzier. His forehead burns independent of the flame.

Girl’s room. Little girl’s room.

It’s easy enough to find. Pink walls, a single twin bed with frills along the skirt, circular white rug plush and soft at the dead center of the room. It’s less hot in here, by a fraction. The fire hasn’t claimed it yet.

Cage. Bunny. Rabbit. Where?

He scans the length of the room in a second, and scans it again. He expects a cage at shelf-level, and when he sees none, he scans the floor for any sign of a pen. He steps over the threshold, growing more frantic.

“Bunny!” he calls out and feels foolish for wasting the breath.

Closet, maybe. He grabs the metal handle, and recoils when the heat bites him. He wads his hand in his shirt the second time around and yanks the door open. Clothes, hangers. He sweeps everything aside and stares at a floor of shoes. Sweat trickles down his neck in rivulets. Every article of clothing sticks to him. His mouth is drying.

He sweeps his hand out, tensed into a claw. Another swirl of cold air streams through the room. He feels it in his heart this time, a slight stutter, a hotness and redness along his cheeks. His internal temperature ticks up another fraction.

“Run,” the little voice in his head says. “You’ll over-exert your quirk. You know that’s dangerous. Run.”

But he can’t. Because heroes act without thinking.

There’s a creaking overhead. It starts low and slow, almost inaudible over the hum and crackle of the fire one room over. It crescendos to a groaning, and it steals the boy’s full attention right when it hits its breaking point.

The ceiling caves, just above the doorway. Lumber and drywall and embers pour down like sand. He dodges, just in time, throwing himself sprawling on the super-heated ground such that the collapsing rubble only claims his right ankle.

The floor is burning into him. He twists, staring at his foot, staring at the entrance to the room now blockaded with debris. The fire licks about the doorway, crawling with slow, opportunistic bursts.

His lungs hurt.

“…Freeze,” he wheezes out, fingers curling, another sweep of bitter cold air bursting through the room. The momentary relief is welcome, but the lingering swell of heat in his cheeks negates it. He sees the flames stutter, and hesitate, and crawl forward again.

“Freeze!” again. A blow of icy air. A buffeting of the flames. A scorch to his cheeks heating with the quirk recoil.

He yanks on his ankle, and the lumber pinning it shifts a fraction.

“Freeze!”

He looks forward, chin pressed to the carpet. He sees it now, one floppy ear peeking out beneath the bed skirt. The fraction of space between the skirt and the floor reveals a plush face in shadow, and he sees two beady glass eyes dancing with the reflection of flames.

He’s licked with a moment of nostalgia, for the days spent playing hero with his friends. Stuffed animals had played their rescue victims so many times before. The stuffed bunny is a welcome sight, almost, it fits right into the fantasy he’d spent so many years constructing.

The other pieces don’t fit. The air licks so, so much hotter than the pretend arson rescues. The smoke is so much more choking than the fantasies in his head. Even the heat training, with the heaviest vest weights, in the peak of summer, couldn’t compare.

The Symbol of Peace never seemed bothered, even in the worst of his rescues. The Symbol of Peace never failed. Somehow, the boy had never considered failure as a possibility. Heroes just needed the courage to act, and the rest followed.

“...Freeze.”

His fingers curl. The flames reel back like a scolded animal, but linger, curious, experimental, as if testing his resolve. His face is burning up. He can’t tell how high his fever has spiked, but it’s high enough to make him drowsy. His eyelids flicker, and flutter, and it would be so much easier to let them shut.

The flames catch him dozing off, as they crawl forward with courage.

Before his eyes shut, he remembers one important thing. He smiles at the bunny.

Its wide glass eyes reflect his smile back. And even when the boy’s eyes flutter shut, the bunny’s remain open, unblinking, unseeing, dancing in the flames.

…

The Symbol of Peace mounts the stage with slow, commanding steps. The crowd that’s gathered tips into the tens of thousands, and that is not even counting those redirected to the overflow area. The people right near the front of the stage have been camping in their spots for over a day.

The applause that meets him is uproarious. He raises a gloved hand to ask for quiet, and is met only with a crescendo of hollers. They settle, eventually, as he takes his position by the podium, as he sets one white-gloved hand to the stand, and raises the microphone to his mouth with the other. The audience hushes steadily, enraptured, eager for him to speak.

“I want to thank each and every one of you for coming out here today,” he says, and he says it with a voice that can shake oceans, and delivers it with a smile that can move mountains. “This day means a lot to me, more than I can put into words, to be so honored by all of you.” He taps the medal affixed to his chest. “To be receiving the highest honor I could have ever imagined receiving. The Lifetime Achievement in Heroics…”

Applause, stronger and more raucous than the first round, meet his ears. He lets it ring this time, while tears prick at the corner of his eyes.

“I would not be here without you! I would not be anywhere near this podium without the love and patience and inspiration from all the people who believed it me when I needed it the most. I would not be 15,000 rescues into my career, and I would not be the second person to ever receive this award, if I had been traveling this path alone.”

Hoots. Hollers. Screams of “WELOVEYOU!”

“And it’s actually that first recipient of the Lifetime Achievement award who I want to talk about today, with you all. Because this day is special to me for an entirely other reason. Today marks the anniversary of the day that man – that first recipient – All Might – told me the words that set me on the path to where I stand today.” The Symbol of Peace steps away from the podium, microphone still in hand, and moves to the very front of the stage. “ ‘You can be a hero, too.’ Those words. That single sentence. Changed my life forever. I would not be here. I would not be ‘Deku’. I would not be the Symbol of Peace without them.”

He pauses for another chorus of cheers, screams and applause and celebration. His smile spreads wide, his soft freckled cheeks dimpled and scrunched high, his messy hair falling over his forehead, and it is a look that has captured an entire nation’s heart.

“So I want to take this time I have in front of you all to return the favor All Might gave me all those years ago. This is for everyone who needs to hear these words! For everyone who needs someone who believes in them! For everyone looking to do right in the world. This goes out to you!” And he lifts his microphone up high. “YOU can be a hero too!”

The audience erupts unlike anything before. Their sounds consume the very air. Together, they drown out all other noise as Deku, the Symbol of Peace, clenches his fist high in the air.

Across the nation, children are watching the television broadcast. They are enraptured. They are bright-eyed. They are making plans for what they will say on stage once they stand beside him.

Once they are all heroes too.

[jolieje]

How Nesta Archeron and Zuko from the Last Airbender are the same but ACOSAF failed to make an actual character arc.

I've been trying to read ACOSF for around a month and it's been hard for me to finish due to the anger it gives me. This book has many problematic scenes but I will mainly talk about how Zuko and Nesta are pretty much the same but Nesta was never understood and her character was unable to grow or learn

Zuko has issues with his father which Nesta also had and both of this character have a missing mother which affects them and explains how they struggle to understand themselves and why they do certain things and how this affects them

Both have struggles with their powers, once Zuko decides to be a better person his powers are missing and he understands that his powers are driven by anger which could assimilate to Nesta when she believes that her powers are pure darkness but the difference is Zuko learned that fire is life due to the dragon trial he realized his power are not destruction and he learns again to control them but Nesta never learns, this 800+ pages never bothers enough to learn her powers instead is highly avoided and just used in less than a page of a chapter and the only time that it's pointed out as not dangerous is pointed out by amren which doesn't count as a growth. Nesta didn't learn to control her power or understood that it's not death but instead she is told her power is not dangerous.I won't count the use of her powers for the Feysaand baby because that pregnancy issue could've been resolved with so many plot options but no. Another strong female lead as a escape goat to save the day but lose everything.

Zuko hatred towards Aang is similar to Nesta towards Feyre. Even though Nesta never tried to murder Feyre like Zuko does to Aang both have a hate relationship due to the father. Zuko learns that his hate towards Aang was by the manipulation of his father and he realizes that he was a victim instead of the abuser because indeed his father was putting a huge task on a kid in order to gain honor when he was just a kid. This assimilates to Nesta, her father was unable to keep the three daughters in a good home and put the pressure on the sisters. Making feyre go to the forest and Nesta considering to marry a guy that would probably beat her up to safe the family and almost raped her . The difference is Zuko realizes that his father is the problem to his actions and forgives himself. Nesta never learns this because she blames herself of her father's death instead of realizing that her father is the reason why the three sister struggled. Instead of her crying about how her life was never easy, or come to a realization that not everything is her fault she actually blames herself and morns her father which makes no sense. Her father appears one time only out of the three books and it's only to die in the end without any accountability.

Zuko grows as a character when Nesta only learns to ask for forgiveness repeatedly to the wrong characters, never loves herself or see her worth. Zuko didn't go back to his family, he found a new family and even learned to earned it. He grew, understood himself and left everything that was affecting him . Nesta goes back to the same dog that bite her. People might excuse the actions that Feyre did to Nesta to banish her, I don't agree but I understand. But the repeated bullying, awful remarks and how they treat Nesta is awful. Rhyssand sees Nesta as a threat when not even once has she tried to harm anyone from the inner circle she actually saved Cassian, she offered to be the spoke person of the humans and even tried to build the wall with Amren. But in this book she's protayed almost equally as Tamlin which makes no sense. Rhyssand and Amren treat Nesta like a plague and use her as they see benefit in several chapters. Does Nesta find a new friend group? Sure, she does but she then asks for forgiveness to the same people that was never able to understand her or gave her the benefit of the doubt until they needed her. Instead of her finding a new path and form a new family she bows down to the dog that bite her and even says they gave her love when they didn't. Rhyssand never liked her and Amren even though friends in the beginning treated Nesta in ACOSF so horribly that not even in real life do I believe someone would ask for forgiveness to amren. SJM failed to seperate her love towards the IC and never bothered to actually give a story to Nesta. Zuko didn't go back to his father or sister. Though I understand the purpose is to have all characters happy. I felt like Nesta character was misunderstood many times thought out the book and instead of understand why she is like this, why she does this we only see that she was wrong all this time. Which is not true. Nesta is also a victim, she isn't the abuser they make her out to be which apparently is pretty bad . The only person she should ask for forgiveness is herself but we never see that. We only see how she makes herself as the problem and how everybody agrees. I believe that in this book she is having more troubles with herself than with anyone and for this reasons she should be the one able to forgive herself more than anyone else but we only she how she asks others. You can't love someone if you don't love yourself first and this goes as well with forgiveness

Both characters go through depression and both of them get someone to help them out . Zuko is lost because he can't decide between good and wrong and he even picks to be bad at some point but then regrets it. Nesta is depressed through out the book due to many things, from her past actions, her powers and so much more. The difference in here is the person that helped them. Uncle Iroh helps Zuko decide who he is and who he wants to be which causes Zuko confusion and anger because he believed his life was summarized in his father's orders and once he realized he isn't what his father wants him to be he struggles, but Iroh guides him and forgives him. Cassian fails to understand Nesta and instead of giving us atleast a couple of chapters of them talking deeply not just a paragraph of their problems, we get smut to cover the issue and this happens every chapter or most of them. This happens so much that even SJM stopped giving detailed smut scenes and she just mentions them with a couple of details. Instead of giving me smut she could've detailed their problems but we don't. We don't hear of how Nesta mother affected her in a deeper sense but we only listen to a surface of the problem. Cassian shouldn't be considered a guidance to begin with. Nesta needed someone that could understand her and help her. Not a character to write smut with. I would even consider azriel a better friend to help her due to his problem with the shadows than cassian and his often remarks of Nesta breast than her struggle of wanting to be alive.

At the end of the last Airbender you love every character even Zuko because you see his story. You understood him, saw his flaws and instead of hating him you ended up loving him when he was a villain at the beginning he even killed Aang in one chapter and still most people love Zuko. Because they were able to make his character redeem himself. That's what SJM failed to do. You never see in detail her struggles, she never grows or forgives herself. Never becomes the queen she was meant to be and it's sad. I have more opinions but I'll leave it in here it

[riddlecrux]

Historical AU

Day 7 of Elriel Month!

Summary: Blue and violet material rustled as she stared at three stars and three mountain peaks which sparkled in the daylight. The place that called her home. Velaris knights galloped through the forest with grace and dignity. At the front of the formation, she spotted him. Note: This is a snippet of my upcoming multi chapter Medieval AU Elriel fanfic!

There was talk in the town.

A gossip about one particular knight was spreading among ladies like a wildfire, fast and unforgiving. Whenever she went out, for a trip to the market or tailor, the words were often hushed and clipped. As if saying them outright and loud would bring the said person stumbling through the door - unannounced and feared. It was as if a shadow of a knight lived among the elites, constantly watching their lips, ready to strike from the darkest parts of the room. She had thought that gossiping was a rather boring thing to do, especially during the daytime - she much preferred spending her free time gardening and walking through the nearby forest.

The solitude she yearned for was always waiting for her, embracing her in silence and wisps of spring wind. A book under her arm, the hem of her skirt tucked between her fingers as she moved through the green maze with a blush covering her pale skin. It was something completely different from the small, claustrophobic ballrooms filled with perfumed guests and men trying to catch themselves a woman, a wife, a person that they were going to tame. A woman, later barely a doll. Empty shell filled with her husband's desires, placid and neat. Never free, never wild - an object that men love to present as a trophy.

Elain huffed, long steps halting as golden brown tresses slipped from her modest braid - her blue dress wrinkled and dirty, the mud sprinkled even her undergarments as she maneuvered through the forest road. She glanced behind her, a nervous tick, and with a soft frown on her forehead, she leaned against the rough tree. Few flowers slipped from her hand as she closed her eyes, breathing the scent of nature which coaxed her troubled mind.

She knew that the day would come, sooner or later - she prayed that her resolve and kindness would prevent her from marriage without love but naive as she was she knew that it was only a matter of time before her mother chose her a fiancé. Preferably rich one, from a distinguished family with a house close to the city market and church. Those arguments were vain and so ill-matched in Elain's opinion. She didn't care for money; she wanted to be loved. More than anything else she wanted to be chosen because of her personality - not too extravagant, timid, and simple as her father once said. Nesta always had a spark in her, steel that made men tremble before her, a woman made for a king or a duke. Her older sister was always the example of everything Elain wasn't, yet the day before Nesta's arranged marriage it was her older, wiser, dutiful sister that ran away - leaving a letter in which she chose love over duty.

I do not wish to be shackled by a man that does not deserve me. Women are much more than cattle you breed to sell. I part with a heavy heart, not because of my decision but because of the future of my sisters.

Elain had read the letter thousands of times, tracing letters with her fingers - remembering Nesta's coldness and silent form of love. She envied her older sister. If she was more courageous, less soft she would, perhaps, repeat her sister's steps.

Sighing through her parted lips her head hit the tree behind her. I do not wish to be shackled by a man that does not deserve me. She murmured under her breath like a prayer staring at the empty road that led to her little town. Gripping the old book by its edges Elain willed herself to pray. Pray that the man her mother had chosen would not like her. Pray that her resolve would show her the correct way, an answer to her broken promise. Pray that…

Her eyes opened at the sound of horses coming down the road. Glancing behind her cover she saw four riders, all dressed in black robes - all of them being knights. Her grip on the branch tightened as her mouth parted once again at the sight of a very well-known flag that was flowing in the air behind them. Blue and violet material rustled as she stared at three stars and three mountain peaks which sparkled in the daylight. The place that called her home. Velaris knights galloped through the forest with grace and dignity. At the front of the formation, she spotted him.

A knight dressed in black armor, iron spikes coming from his shoulder pads, and even sharper ones adorning his helmet. His gauntlets tightly clenched around his horse’s harness, dark and utterly beautiful. The breastplate was wide and devoid of any ornaments safe for three stars on each side of his armor. On his left side an extraordinary sword. Its majestic hilt covered in small, blue gems which were reflecting sunshine as he moved on the massive, gorgeous stallion. It was her gasp that made him snap his neck in her direction - she quickly scrambled and hid behind the tree wishing that he hadn't seen her. As the sounds of hooves started to ease with their every step, Elain slowly crept from her hiding position. Her heart beating so loud that the bird sitting on one of the branches fled from its resting spot.

The talk of the town - The Scarred Knight, came just in time for the tournament.

*

3 YEARS EARLIER

The summer was hot and stuffy.

Elain shot a quick glance behind her shoulder as she ran through the crowded streets of the town. She could hear Lucien's screams and his brothers’ laughter, however, she didn't stop. Her feet adorned with leather booties moved even faster, as long as she lost the gingers she would be safe. She turned right, stumbled because of the moving wagon, and sprinted towards cathedral alley - people were staggering when she turned in another street, her hair falling from her up-do in waves of molten gold. The freedom in her lungs was addictive. She felt like a bird, freed from its beautiful cage that it was trapped in for its whole life.

Her feet hit the muddy ground as she scanned moving peasants and with a resolution on her delicate features, she whirled around and ran straight towards the training grounds. One step, two steps...

She gasped when she collided with a solid body, her feet getting caught in the lace of her dress, making her fall on her backside with a loud thud. Her forehead was hurting and she could swear that the world around her wavered as she finally decided to glance at the reason for her fall. It was a knight, a tall and very deadly one. His violet eyes scanned her for injuries and with a slow sigh, he presented her a gloved hand.

"My lady," his sensual voice rang in her ears as she gracefully - at least she hoped so, gripped his fingers and stood up. Her beige dress was dirty and ruffled at its edges. Her mother would have scolded her till her calves were raw from the beating. The sight of her so utterly ungracious and dishonorable would shake her so much that Elain would have had to beg her on her knees to stop. Nevertheless, as she looked at her skirt she saw few droplets of blood and with a frown, she deduced that she, in fact, sliced her palm when she tried not to stumble.

Snapping her attention back to the knight in front of her, she slowly bowed and smiled. Her curls created a halo around her heart-shaped face when she finally looked him straight in his eyes. He was tall, well built and had brown skin. It was a beautiful color, she mused trying not to think how handsome he was.

"Sir Knight, pardon my intrusion," she cocked her head as another knight appeared in her peripheral vision. He was even taller and bigger than the one from before. His long hair flew on wisps of wind as he chuckled seeing her state and dirt on her dress. One dark brow rose with a flicker of amusement in his bright eyes.

"It's a rather peculiar sight to behold," he murmured as another wave of deep laughter erupted from his throat. She could feel redness coming up on her cheeks and with a swift movement, she ducked her chin down. Her mother would have simply perished if she saw her right now. What a disgrace for her perfect family.

"Cassian, the lady is hurt," she still didn't dare to look up, and when the newcomer left as quickly as he appeared she stole a small glance in the direction of soft sounds.

On her right, the training grounds were almost empty safe for a knight in black armor, kneeling on the ground. His hands were bare and visible to her eyes - scars, horrible and painful ones adoring his long fingers and gentle palms were a stark contrast to his dark attire. However, what caught her initial attention was the way he was slowly but surely trying to feed a stray kitten that aimlessly wandered here. His kneeling person, sharp against the tiny creature barely visible to the human eye. Two oddities coexisting in that nanosecond of time seemed to stop for her as she devoured the sight of this blindingly pure kindness.

"My lady," she heard the other man from somewhere far away. Her tunnel vision focused on that one person, his act of gentleness amidst the blazing sunlight, and… the way his scarred fingers were trembling while he placed all of his weight on his knees. As if he was scared and ashamed of their appearance, even before that small animal hissing in his direction. "My lady?" Her doe eyes found violet ones and with a soft gasp, she came to her senses.

"Please do forgive me for my ignorance," her voice shook and she hated herself for that. For that slight hint of distress slipping through the cracks of her perfectly molded mask of courtesy. The knight rose a dark brow and with frivolous joy watched her behavior as if he had solved a mysterious puzzle. Deep down in her chest, her heart sang an unknown song that made her spiral even further into herself.

"Azriel!" A sharp command slashed the air as she whipped her head at the source of that loud noise. The violet-eyed knight bowed elegantly as the kneeling man slowly stood up, even taller than previously acquainted knights, and slowly made a way towards them. His armor was loud, yet mesmerizing - she felt her bloodstream tickle, surge as the earth shattered under her legs with the force of warmth and longing she suddenly felt. An intake of breath caught in her lungs made her frozen as foreign yet so well-known hazel eyes stopped on her person. As if she had dreamt about them, as if they were forever imprinted inside her like a burst of thousands of stars. The slits in his helmet allowed her to see his long eyelashes, dark and dangerous, as he inclined his greetings.

"Sir Knight," she breathed out, like a bird singing for its designed mate. The knight's burning gaze left her shaking - as if her soul suddenly came down on earth and wished for a moment of utmost closure.

"The lady is hurt," the shorter one supplied glancing between both of them with a smirk. "Please attend her while I gather supplies," and with a swift nod, he left both of them alone. She supposed that time became only a fraction of surrounding her world when Azriel only stared at her, his scarred hands tucked behind him as if the sight of them might have somehow offended her.

"Sir Knight," her lips parted with a silent echo of yearning. "You have truly beautiful hands," his eyes widened, a golden hue covering his irises as his armor rumpled with the stretch of his muscles.

"It's a far-fetched compliment, my lady, yet I'm declaring my thanks," he blinked as she fought with an overwhelming feeling dancing in her chest. He was so close to her and yet she felt as if he was a whole ocean away. Maybe her soul, the one who often whispered in her ear about soulmates, tricked her and made her a fool. Maybe because of that she wanted to say something, anything that could last - to make him remember her, a wild girl with flowers in her hair.

"It's not," she urged and let herself smile. "For what I have seen, Sir, you are gentle-natured," a gust of wind ruffled her tresses and when she tried to fight with them, scarred digits arrived next to her ear.

"And you, my lady, are indisputably a spring ready to conquer the already fading winter," he whispered urgently. Her heart trembled at his words, it was as if he had spoken to her spirit, to the gaping wound of her hidden longings and dreams. As if he had known her, right now and all these centuries before. The time was crashing into her like waves of that unknown feeling that overcame her, however before she could answer the loud yell of her name startled her like a deer.

"I must," her ragged breathing stopped when she saw red-haired men stumbling onto training grounds. Wide-eyed and breathless she stole the last glance at her starry-eyed soulmate and turned around. Even if all laws of this world told her to stay, screamed at her to turn around to see the universe crashing inside those hazel eyes, she didn't.

She left him there, a tray of sunlight and starlight glittering behind her as he watched her till she became only a speck of dust in the blazing heat.