#and again i am really sorry abt this but i have gotten so desperate | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

xo-valxntine · 2 years

Text

Amethyst Eyes III (T. Inumaki)

part one | part two | part three | bonus

pairing: toge inumaki x gn!reader

synopsis: after not seeing or speaking to toge in months, you’re shocked when you hear him speaking and fighting a strange monster inside your clinic. you were hoping to see him again, but you could never have imagined it’d end up like this

tws: slight angst, fluff, brief mention of blood, brief mention of gangs (don’t think i’m missing anything but let me know if i am?) wc: ~4,700

a/n: last part :(( i love toge and y/n so much they make me so happy <3 thinking abt doing a cute lil bonus scene we’ll see. i hope you enjoy! ੈ✩‧₊˚

“Toge?” You’re not entirely sure if your voice comes out. The weight on your shoulders feels heavier, and you feel your chest start to tighten. You start to hyperventilate. Were you having a panic attack? You could feel your heart trying to beat out of your chest. You’re looking at Toge with desperation in your eyes as your heave, but he’s not looking at you. He’s looking right past you. Toge pulls the zipper of his uniform down and reveals those familiar tattoos surrounding his lips.

“Don’t move.”

You were still struggling to breathe when the weight around you felt even heavier. You were grateful you were sitting down because you knew if you were standing that you would’ve collapsed.

“Die.”

Suddenly the weight around you disappeared. The tight feeling around your chest was gone, and you felt your breathing become more regulated. You watched Toge with wide eyes as he started to cough up blood. You wanted to rush over to his side, but you couldn’t move. You were frozen in shock. You watched as Toge reached for something in his pocket and pull out a bottle. He quickly snaps open the lid and chugs it down in one gulp. When he’s done, he turns his attention back to you with worry in his eyes.

“Mustard leaf?” You furrowed your brows, looking at him. There was a sudden realization on his face, and then he frowned. Suddenly the woman with green hair and glasses appeared next to him, and she was staring at you.

“That blindfolded idiot said there wasn’t going to be anyone here. Well, don’t just stand there, we gotta do something.” The woman says. Toge doesn’t move from his position. He just stands there, staring at you. You stare right back at him. She looks from Toge to you and then back again.

“Do you two know each other or something?”

That seems to snap Toge out of whatever daze he’s in, and he quickly rushes to your side. He goes to reach for you, but you flinch away. Toge retracts, and you can see the pain in his eyes.

“I’m sorry, Toge.” Your voice is barely above a whisper.

Toge’s eyes soften at the sound of you saying his name. He’s eyeing you carefully, almost trying to see how he should proceed.

“I’m really sorry.”

You were apologizing for all the texts you didn’t reply to and for the way it probably hurt him. You thought you had finally gotten rid of your feelings for Toge, but seeing him brought it all back. Everything you had pushed down came back up to the surface. The truth was you had been pretending. Pretending that you didn’t want to text him back, pretending that you didn’t miss his texts when they stopped and pretending that you didn’t want to see him again. The truth was you cared about Toge, so much so that it hurt a little.

You hadn’t realized you were crying until Toge brushed a tear away from your cheek. You look at him with tearful eyes and see him looking at you with a worried expression. There’s something in his look that makes your heart soften. The tension in your body fades. The last thing you remember is relaxing into his touch.

You awake groggily the next morning, with a fog looming over your mind. You blink slowly, trying to clear the fog and wipe the sleep from your eyes. The events from the following night come flooding back to you, and you feel panic rising in your body. What the hell had happened? What was that thing? And Toge had been there, and he spoke. The words slip back into your mind.

“Don’t move”.

“Explode”.

And then when he had said to you “Don’t move” and “Die”. The way the heavy feeling of your shoulders and your chest tightening disappeared after he said, “Die”. You move your arms and twist side to side slightly, testing the movements. It was gone. What had Toge done to you?

Toge. You cringe at the memory of you curled up and apologizing. Your mind flashed back to the way you recoiled from him and how hurt he looked. You pull your comforter over your head, pretending it can hide you away from the embarrassment. And then you had gone and passed out after the fact. That’s when you come to the full realization that you’re in your bed. You become embarrassed when you realize it was most likely Toge that had brought you back. You throw your comforter off of yourself, and your eyes quickly dart around the room, trying to see if you had anything embarrassing left out. Luckily, nothing was out of place. You let out a sigh of relief and collapse back onto your pillows.

You don’t remember falling back asleep, but somehow you had. Your body definitely needed the rest. You reach for where your phone is usually on your nightstand only for it not to be there. You rake through your mind trying to remember what you had done with it. You were scrolling on it last night at the clinic and—

Oh.

You had set it down on the couch before you went to look out the window. You’re reminded of the woman fighting that strange creature, the way you retreated to the back of your clinic, and the sound of glass shattering. Your clinic was probably still trashed from last night. You hadn’t seen all the damage, on account of being passed out, but you were absolutely sure you wouldn’t be able to go back to work today. And as for your phone, it was most likely lost in the other wreckage of your clinic. You flop back onto your pillow and contemplate what you should do.

It would probably be smart to go to your clinic and assess the damage that had been done. You would most likely need to find a contractor in the city to repair the damages. And if you didn’t show up, people would probably show up at your house to tell you about your clinic. It was surprising that no one had already shown up to your house to tell you. After a minute of laying in bed, you finally decided to get up and get ready.

When you arrive at your clinic, it’s just as you thought it’d be. The windows were completely blasted in, and some parts of the wall had crumbled. There were several people standing outside your clinic staring at the wreckage. You stood for a moment, taking it all in. It was a disaster. It’d most likely be a while before you could start seeing patients again. A few people approach you asking you what happened, but you simply say you don’t know and leave it at that. Your eyes are flipping between the people talking to you and the mess that is your clinic when the woman with the green hair and glasses catches your attention. She was standing casually at the corner of the street by your clinic. She motions you over to her. You’re hesitant for a moment, but then excuse yourself from the group and make your way over to her.

“It’s Y/N, right?” It’s more of a statement than a question. “I’m Maki.”

You stand there awkwardly, unsure of how to respond. Maki eyes you carefully and then proceeds to talk.

“We’ve got a lot to talk about. Is there somewhere private we can talk?” She asks.

“Uh, my house, I guess? There’s not really anywhere to go here.” You say, finally finding your voice.

“Great. Lead the way.”

The teacup was warming your cold hands. You had decided to make Maki and yourself some tea once you arrived back at your house. The two of you were sitting across from each other at your dining table, both sitting silently. You take a sip of your tea before clearing your throat and deciding to break the silence.

“How did I get home last night?” You thought it was the easiest way to start whatever this conversation was going to be.

“Toge brought you back. I think he found it on your driver's license or something.” Maki replies easily. You let out a small “oh,” and then it falls silent again. You’re not sure how long it’s quiet before Maki cuts through the silence with a sigh.

“Listen here, kid. What I’m about to tell you is a secret. You can’t go around blabbing about this to anybody, understand?” She says in a stern voice. You nod in response, but you can’t help the question that comes flying out of your mouth.

“Are you one of Toge’s gang friends?” Maki’s eyes widen, and then she’s instantly roaring in laughter.

“Toge? In a gang? Absolutely not.” Maki says, recovering from her laughing fit.

“Anyway,” Maki says seriously, “I’m going to get straight to the point. We’re not in a gang. We’re jujutsu sorcerers.”

You knit your eyebrows together and stare at her.

“What the hell is that supposed to mean?”

“Jujutsu sorcerers exorcise cursed spirits or curses for short. Curses are malicious spirits that manifest from human’s negative emotions. For the most part, curses are invisible to regular humans. Hell, even I need a little help seeing them.” Maki says, tapping her glasses. “But curses are a large part of the unexplained deaths and disappearances humans experience. There aren’t many jujutsu sorcerers that are properly trained to exorcise curses, but Toge and I went to Jujutsu High, where we trained to exorcise curses. We were out last night trying to exorcise that curse when we stumbled into your clinic—sorry about that, by the way. We were told there wouldn’t be anyone in the general vicinity, but that was wrong. We heard you in the back, and that’s when Toge ran off. He saw you there with a curse wrapped around you, and I think it freaked him out for some reason. He exorcised the curse from you, and I don’t think you need me to explain the rest.”

You sit quietly, trying to take in everything Maki is saying. Curses? That was ridiculous. You were a doctor, and you believed in science. There was no such thing as magic and curses, but if that was the case, then what about last night? You could tell yourself that it was a dream, a nightmare, but that wouldn’t explain Maki sitting across from you. Maybe you could go on about your life and just pretend none of this ever happened, but what about Toge? You had grown so fond of him, and you had finally seen him after so long. Maybe now that you finally knew the truth, the two of you could work something more serious out.

“So Toge’s a sorcerer?” You ask. Maki nods.

“He’s a descendant of the Inumaki clan, and he inherited their cursed speech technique. It enhances words with cursed energy. Basically, if Toge tells someone to do something, they’ll do it. But it does take a toll on him. If he’s not careful, he could hurt someone or hurt himself.”

You sit, taking in all this information.

“Don’t move”

“Explode”

“Die”

Your mind flashes back to Toge coughing up blood, and you wince. You could only imagine how painful that was for him.

“To keep from hurting anyone, he speaks in rice ball ingredients. It’s like his own little language.”

“Can you speak?”

“Salmon.”

“Salmon?”

“Mustard leaf?”

Your mind retraces the memories. He spoke in rice ball ingredients to protect others. You gut feeling that the first night had been right. Toge was a protector, and he deeply cared about others. A warm feeling stirs inside of you, but you quickly push it away.

“Was Toge, uh, what is it? Exorcising curses?” Maki nods, and you continue, “Was he doing that here a couple of months ago?”

“Probably, why?”

Your mind flashes back to when you found Toge collapsed on your floor.

“He showed up at my clinic, bleeding out on my floor. I tried to get him to go to a hospital, but he wouldn’t.” Maki scoffs and rolls her eyes.

“That damned idiot. Is that how you two know each other?” Maki asks, and you become embarrassed, but nod.

“Yeah, then he came back a few days later and passed out on my floor.”

Maki scowls.

“So that’s where he was? I swear, I’m going to kill him when I see him.”

“Does Toge know you came to tell me?” You ask, ignoring Maki’s threat.

“You two really on a first-name basis after only meeting twice?” Maki asks, not bothering to answer your question. You become nervous and fidget with the handle on your teacup.

“We were texting for a few months after that.” You say, not bothering to go into details.

“So that’s what he’s been hiding. Also, no. Toge doesn’t know I’m here.” Maki says, starting to stand. “And with that said, I should probably be on my way.”

You nod in response and lead Maki to the door.

“Thanks for stopping by to tell me.” You say, leaning against the doorframe.

“Now remember, what I said. Don’t go blabbing to anyone about this.” Maki warns carefully. You throw your arms up in protest and without saying anything else, Maki is on her way.

After Maki left, you went into the closet city and brought a new cellphone. Luckily, you had saved everything to the cloud, so setting it up was easy. The first thing you did when everything was ready was text Toge. When you opened the chat, you saw the string of one-sided texts and felt something sad tug on your heart. Your fingers hover over the phone, hesitating before quickly typing your message and sending it.

hi toge

It had been three and a half weeks since you’d sent that text to Toge. You’d been texting him every day, hoping to hear from him, but he hadn’t responded to any of them. You so desperately wanted to talk to him. To tell him how sorry you were and tell him you understood why he couldn’t come to see you before. There were so many things you wanted to tell him, but you needed him to respond in order to do that.

You arranged the repairs for your clinic the day after you spoke to Maki. You had to hire a repair company from the city, as you thought, but in the end, it had been worth it, because they managed to repair your clinic in about a week. You were expecting it to take about a month, but they worked quickly and you were back to seeing patients as if nothing had ever happened.

It was the middle of the day and you had seen one patient, but for the most part, your day had been slow. You were updating a few patient charts before taking your lunch break. As you’re typing and clicking away on your computer, you hear your phone buzz. You practically lunge for the phone when you hear it.

rice ball enthusiast ♡

Can we talk?

Your fingers are typing before you can fully process the message.

yes

His reply comes back almost as fast as yours.

rice ball enthusiast ♡

I’ll stop by later.

The rest of the day, you were nervously waiting for Toge. You tried your best to keep busy, filling patient documents, restocking your cabinets, sorting out the last of the bills for the repair company, anything to keep your mind distracted, but it was hopeless. Your mind kept thinking about Toge. You still had no idea what you were going to say to him. You’d have to explain to him why you hadn’t ever responded to his texts and why you had suddenly become so distant. What if you told him and he didn’t forgive you? What if he was coming to tell you he never wanted to see you again? Your heart sank at the possibility. Now that you knew, now that you understood, you wanted nothing more than to be with Toge. To explain to him how you really felt. Oh, god, what if he didn’t feel the same way? You’re snapped back into reality when you hear the door open. You quickly make your way to the front of the clinic.

You’re taken aback by his appearance when you see him. Gone was his strange uniform from before; instead he wore tan flannel with a white graphic tee underneath and brown sweatpants. Since he wasn’t wearing his uniform, he didn’t have the jacket that covered the lower half of his face; instead, he wore a mask. You wouldn’t have recognized him if it wasn’t for his blonde hair and those eyes that you had become so fond of. They were watching you as you took in his appearance.

“Nice to see you not bleeding out for once.” You say, looking him up and down. Toge looks at you and then laughs. You feel your heart begin to beat a little faster. Toge pulls out his phone and typed something quickly. Your phone buzzes, and you quickly look at it.

rice ball enthusiast ♡

Nice to see you too

You smile and look back at him. You could tell that he was smiling underneath his mask. The two of you stand there and stare at each other. You let out a small breath before speaking.

“I’m sorry.” You apologize, finally breaking the silence. “I was never mad about you not coming to see me, well, maybe I was a little upset, but so many things happened, and-“ You stop yourself. You hadn’t said it out loud in so long. You take a deep breath before continuing.

“That next day, I found out Misuzu passed, and I had to deal with that. By the time I had dealt with all of that, I felt like I couldn’t respond, I know, silly, but that’s what happened. And then next thing I know, you’re stumbling, well, crashing into my clinic, and yeah.” You finish rambling.

You weren’t exactly sure when he made his way over to you, but suddenly Toge wrapped his arms around you, enveloping you in a hug. You’re shocked at first, but soon feel yourself relaxing into him. There was something familiar about being in his arms. Toge rubbed soothing circles on your back. You found comfort in Toge’s arms that you hadn’t felt in a long time.

After a moment, you and Toge finally pull away from each other. Toge pulls his phone back out and quickly types something.

rice ball enthusiast ♡

I’m sorry about your loss. I know how much she meant to you.

“It’s okay. I feel better about it now.” You say, honestly. “What did you want to talk about? Oh, did you want to sit down?”

You begin moving over to the couch, and Toge follows you. When the two of you sit down, you’re acutely aware of the way your knee and his knee are touching. You watch as Toge types away on his phone.

rice ball enthusiast ♡

I’ve got something to tell you. Ready for my big secret? :p

You roll your eyes when you see the emoticon, but nod. Toge’s fingers dance quickly across his phone, and about a minute later, a text pops onto your screen.

rice ball enthusiast ♡

Basically, I’m a jujutsu sorcerer. I exorcise things called curses that develop as a result of human’s negative emotions. The first two times I stumbled into your clinic, I was nearby exorcising some, and they kind of got the best of me. The way I exorcise curses is through a technique called cursed speech, those are what the markings on my cheeks and tongue are. It takes a large toll on my body when I overuse it, hence the coughing up of blood. I have to be careful when I speak, and that’s why I use rice ball ingredients.

Toge pulls off his mask and gestures to the markings on his face before turning his attention back to his phone. Another text comes to your phone right after the last one.

rice ball enthusiast ♡

That night a few weeks ago Maki (the girl with me) and I were exorcising a curse and we stumbled into here by accident. I didn’t recognize the place at first, but when Maki talked about hearing someone, I realized where I was. I rushed around looking for you, and then I found you curled up on the floor. There was a curse attached to you.

You watched Toge’s fingers hover over the screen, and he lets out a shaky breath before typing again.

rice ball enthusiast ♡

You looked so scared, and it broke something inside me. I exorcised it, that was what happened when I spoke. I wasn’t thinking when I spoke after, I was so worried about you, and I slipped up by saying mustard leaf. You looked so confused when I said it, and I was devastated. I wanted to ask if you were okay and tell you it was going to be okay, but I couldn’t because of my cursed speech. And then, when you were apologizing, I wanted to tell you that it was okay. That you didn’t have anything to be sorry for, but I couldn’t. Then, you passed out, and I took you home.

You're looking at Toge, trying to find his eyes, but they’re focused on his screen.

rice ball enthusiast ♡

I was so upset. I didn’t know what to do. I kept blaming myself for that curse attaching itself to you. I was upset because I couldn’t talk to you, and I didn’t know what to say to you. I got your texts, but I didn’t know how to respond. I couldn’t bring myself to text you until today, and that’s when I decided to tell you all this. I’m sorry.

Your eyes finish reading over the text and then move over to Toge. He wasn’t looking at you. His gaze was still locked on his phone despite it being locked. His hands were shaking slightly.

“Toge.” You say, quietly. He still doesn’t move his eyes away from his phone.

“Toge.” You say again, this time more firmly.

This time he looks at you, and you notice his eyes feeling with tears. You feel part of your heart breaking. Before you even realize you’re moving, you’re wrapping your arms around him. You hold him as tightly as you can. You can hear Toge as he cries quietly.

“It’s okay. I’m okay.” You reassure him, quietly.

You hold him for a while before he pulls away. Toge uses his sleeve to wipe away his tears. The two of you watch each other quietly. Toge’s eyes linger on you for a moment before he reaches for his phone, and types something. Your phone buzzes on the couch, and you reach to grab it.

rice ball enthusiast ♡

I think I was expecting you to have a different reaction

“What’s that supposed to mean?” You ask, eyeing him.

rice ball enthusiast

I expected more freaking out.

ヽ(°〇°)ﾉ ←- You

You roll your eyes, but can’t help the smile that appears on your face.

“I don’t freak out that much.”

rice ball enthusiast ♡

Yeah you do. Remember that story you told me about your first time in the ER? I was expecting that level of freaking out. Hearing about curses for the first time can be pretty shocking.

“I knew I should’ve never told you that story. Plus, it wasn’t my first time hearing about them. Maki told me before.” You say. Toge’s eyes widen, and so do yours at what you had let slip.

rice ball enthusiast ♡

When did you and Maki talk about curses?

Uh-oh. Busted.

“Uh, never? I don’t know what you’re talking about.” You lie. Toge raises an eyebrow at you. “Okay, okay, fine. The day after you two exorcised that curse, she was waiting for me outside of the clinic. She came to my house, and that’s when she told me about curses and your cursed speech.”

rice ball enthusiast ♡

I wanted to be the first one to tell you!! :(:(:(:((((

You giggle at the message.

“Sorry, she beat you to it.”

Toge knits his eyebrows together in frustration, and you knit yours together to match his facial expression.

“Look, I’m Toge, and I’m mad Maki told my secret.” You say, teasing him.

Toge only furrows his brows deeper, and you laugh more. Soon after, Toge joins, and you feel your heart flutter again. After you finish laughing, you clear your throat and look at Toge. He’s looking right back at you, and you feel yourself become nervous.

“Toge, I have a confession.” You say, quietly. Toge raises an eyebrow at you. You clear your throat. “I like you.”

Toge looks at you for a second before typing something on his phone. You glance down and see a message on your phone.

rice ball enthusiast ♡

For a second there, I thought you were going to confess to being in a gang and that you’ve been projecting this whole time.

You shove Toge playfully and roll your eyes.

“You’re really annoying, you know that?” You say only half-asking.

rice ball enthusiast ♡

Yeah, but apparently you like it ;)

You become embarrassed and go to shove him again, but this time he grabs your wrist and pulls you into him. He’s looking at you carefully, with those amethyst eyes you’ve grown so fond of. The two of you were dangerously close together. Your eyes wander from Toge’s down to his lips and the markings surrounding them. You subconsciously lick your lips, and your eyes find his again.You open your mouth to speak, but before any sound comes out, Toge has his lips pressed against yours.

It was soft and delicate, almost as if he were to press too hard, you’d shatter. Toge’s lips were softer than you imagined and you could feel your body relax into his instantly. It was almost as if the room around you had disappeared. Your lips moved in sync with his, and your fingers ended up tangled in his silky hair. You could feel Toge smile against your lips, and you couldn’t help but do the same.

The two of you were completely consumed with each other. Toge’s tongue swiped against your lips carefully, and you could taste something tangy, but sweet on his tongue. Toge was kissing you with passion like you’d never felt before. Everything he wanted to say, everything he couldn’t say, he put into the kiss. You didn’t want to pull away. You wanted to give him every part of you, but eventually, he pulled away and rested his forehead against yours, breathing heavily.

The two of you stayed there for a minute, enjoying each other's company before Toge pulls away and taps his phone. Your phone buzzes and you go to read his message.

rice ball enthusiast

(Attachment: 1 Image)

You roll your eyes at the image of the cat with photoshopped blush on its cheeks, hearts surrounding it, and “i like you” typed across the top.

“And just why do you have an image like that on hand?” You ask him, raising an eyebrow. Toge quickly types something.

rice ball enthusiast ♡

I’ve been waiting for the right time to use it.

“You were planning on using a reaction pic to tell me you liked me?” You question him. Toge gives an innocent smile and shrugs. “You’re ridiculous.”

rice ball enthusiast ♡

So what now?

You sit for a minute, thinking about it. And then you practically jump up with excitement.

“Let’s go to my house!” You exclaim excitedly. Toge’s eyes widen with surprise, and he quickly types away on his phone.

rice ball enthusiast ♡

And do what exactly?

“Make rice balls, duh. What else would we do?” You ask confusedly. Toge smiles at you and shakes his head.

You stand from the couch, ready to leave, but Toge is still sitting.

“Well, do you want to know the secret that makes them amazing or not?”

#inumaki x y/n #inumaki imagines #inumaki x reader #jjk inumaki #jjk fanfic #jjk imagines #toge inumaki #inumaki toge x reader #inumaki x you #inumaki fanfic #toge x reader #toge x you #inumaki fluff

147 notes · View notes

aceofspades-sml · 1 year

Note

How does it feel to have lived my dream of seeing Lindsay as Katherine-

Can I ask for details abt her performance? What was her Katherine like, how was she different from Bronte or Bobbie? :0

Hi ! Sorry this took me so long to answer, I just had two big days and needed to organize my notes about the show

And so, Lindsay Katherine. I wasn't expecting to enjoy her as much as I did but she was truly incredible. She was also very different from both other Katherines (I am mostly familiar with Bronté's Kath so will mostly talk about how Lindsay's is different from her but from what I know about Bobbie I can just tell you they are not the same at all)

Even physically speaking she is established as different from the others, her dress isn't cut the same way and is a very dark blue with white stripes and she has lighter curly hair (I used to have doubts about curly haired Kath but oh my god she was perfect). In my opinion she looks a bit older as well, both physically and in her behaviour.

One of the differences that struck me the most, because I remember it already struck me with Bronté, was that while Bonté's cast is openly extremely sarcastic, always mocking and mimicking other people, especially in act 1, Lindsay Kath was very sarcastic as well but in a really deadpan way, both in her voice and her facial expressions. Her delivery of lines such as "Cheeky boy gets nothing for is trouble" and especially "What was the last strike you organized ?" really showed that, she just looked Jack dead in the eyes and delivered. In the same way, I think she made way less large and expressive gestures than Bronté's Kath, which was mostly obvious in Watch what happens- she moves less and everything is in her voice (said voice is absolutely amazing btw)

Maybe that's due to this but she also seemed extremely serious, though not in a strict way- my friend and I tried for hours to put words on that and failed so bear with me here, she was extremely invested in her job as a reporter while also genuinely caring about the newsies and their strike

All in one this Katherine seemed to express her emotions way less than Bronté's... until act 2. In Pulitzer's office she seemed to be desperately trying to justify herself, and despite not talking her face was clearly begging for Jack to believe her, to know that she never intended for things to go this way or to cause the newsies any harm and she just looked so sad-

And the scene on the rooftop before Something to believe in was absolutely heartbreaking as well because I had gotten used to that serious and deadpan Kath and here she just broke down, she was incredibly emotional and her voice broke at multiple moments when she was talking to Jack. Which was also the case with any other Katherine but it was particularly strking with Lindsay. The song itself was then really sweet and soft because she had let her walls down and her relationship with Michael's Jack was played really well in my opinion, once again really different from that of Bronté or Bobbie but absolutely perfect and very cute regarding her personality ! (I would love to see her with the other Jacks tho because I am really curious what her relationship with them would look like since both George and Matt are very different from Michael never gonna happen now haha *cries*)

To sum it up Lindsay was very different from every Katherine I have seen until now, she decided to show a whole other part of her personality and I honestly really liked it ! Not to mention that Lindsay herself was an absolute angel and was clearly incredibly happy she got to play this part. Good for her honestly because she slayed

#I hope this answers your question at least a little bit because I am really bad with words right now so sorry about that #all I know is I consider myself incredibly lucky to have seen her bc she was really the one I thought I couldn't catch and I loved her #if you have any other questions I would gladly try and answer them I love talking about uksies Katherine !#... also if you want a glimpse of her kath I totally do not have an audio of her last show which I am totally not willing to share #if you are interested #newsies #newsies uk #uksies #katherine plumber #lindsay atherton #leo's newsies analysis

21 notes · View notes

hyunjinspark · 6 months

Note

i read the new chapter n jade..... my heart burned so badly, everything seems to be crumbling down all over n to think this has been yns long wished for dream that turned out a nightmare.. i have a few annotates to make!! ill out them below, its my first time so i rlly hope its not messy >.<

“Of course not” Hyunjin rolled his eyes, continuing to add details to his little map, right now he was adding the 7/11 between your house and Aera’s.

hyun thinking of yn neighborhood so fondly n cherishing the scenery sm let alone remember it to add to his painting was so heart wrenching in a good way.. it made me smile

“Unfortunately, I don’t think that’s going to be possible Jinnie. And…you’re probably gonna have to get the flowers tomorrow” Chan suddenly said, filling up the blender with ingredients.

i knew exactly where this was going n for some reason it made me rlly sulky.... hyuns hectic life ;—;

“No, but my girlfr-“ Hyunjin stopped in his sentence, clearing his throat, and he could feel Chan’s gaze burn curiously into him, “Um…one of my friends is. He’s her favourite artist in the world”

i was blushing so hard here, i got so flustered, i hope yn finds out abt this, the subconsciously calling her his girlfriend, its so!!!!!!! god!!!!!!

He saw your eyes widen, and a deep emotion overwhelmed you. He didn’t see you react more, and he wondered what this meant to you, what he meant to you right now, even so far away. You didn't say anything back. You must be holding it all in, just like him. Maybe you didn’t know how to put your thoughts into words. He couldn't blame you. Even after reading all the poems in the world, Hyunjin didn’t have the words either. Not enough anyway.

i loved seeing more of hyuns heart during such conversations!!!!! we havent gotten much of it so i cherish it all dearly n feeling hyuns sincerity towards yn from such insights, he better tell her sooner or later, poor yns heart deserves to know ;—; especially after the mess going on for a while now

I want you here with me at this party. Fuck, it’s so dull without you. If you were here, we could just sneak off and…I would kiss you. Positively. My manager is here, the scary one, but he doesn’t have to know. Earlier, I was reading a book and there was an English word in it that reminded me of you. Saudade. I looked it up because I was so curious and it said it’s a state of melancholy for a beloved someone or something. I think that explains this ridiculous feeling I have when I think of you. I have it even when I’m not thinking of you. Like last week, when we were recording this one song. It’s like you’re here with me in everything. I guess what I’m saying is, I just want to kiss you really really badly and fuck I’m really drunk so I’m sorry for how this may sound but I just really need to feel you—

this was one of the hottest things ive read through slwy..... the words rnt coming out, but, the desperation n need in his words here melt me.. i am yet again nothing but a woman it seems, this was genuinely so hot. i cant say it enough. i kind of wish he wasnt cut off at the end.....

Suddenly the expensive bracelets he was wearing felt like shackles around Hyunjin’s wrists.

When he got home that night, he realised the hydrangeas in his room had withered away completely.

the poetry/metaphors in these lines were beautiful jade :(

At your question, Hyunjin’s grip on the wheel tightened. His shoulders tensed up.

You'd struck a nerve.

Good.

yn getting some revenge this way was so satisfying to read. yes u struck a nerve n yes its good that u did!!!

hey. i was just talking with minho and man, i miss you

I know you’ve likely forgotten all about me but call me later please…I think ill die here without you

yongbok is so sweet, i do miss him n i didnt realize how much i did until reading his texts here

“She’s a really good artist” Hyunjin suddenly interrupted you.

proud boyfriend behavior. i dont know if u understand but this was so proud boyfriend!

He’d gotten so much better in your absence. You’d only gotten worse in his.

this just hurt. bc yes. :( hyun come back :(

“No, I’m not done talking. After losing you, moving to the city was the hardest thing I ever did. Leaving Daejon behind, all my friends…the only life I knew, and this place where I don’t really fit perfectly, but I’m trying so hard to. It is so hard. The only thing I love…I can’t even love that anymore because I can’t fucking stop thinking about you when I’m painting! It’s not fair. You had a choice, Hyunjin. I didn’t” Your voice broke.

hearing it all pour out of her is so heartbreaking bc it feels like theres so much more she wants to say but cant bc of how overwhelming it is, my chest felt heavy hearing her like this :(

“I…couldn’t leave you at the party. It’s not safe…of course I had to drive you home. I would go insane if something happened to you”

something happened to her when u disappeared, dummy..... u should go insane over that instead bc yn did. so did i. hyun come back!!!!! ;—;

Raindrops slowly trickled down, tracing the ruined paper in your palm. The only memory left of you and Hyunjin was now gone.

heart ripped off my chest. im v sentimental even w materials so this.... it rlly hurt.

“Fine” You heard it being passed around and then his voice came in, “Love. I’m here”

i had these copy pasted in my notes but i just got to send u this ask so im unsure if this was bbok or lino... im thinking bbok, hes so comforting amongst the chaos he seems to be the constant yn needs

Draped in a beige trench coat, cheeks red from the cold, Hyunjin stood at the bottom of your staircase.

nothing n i repeat NOTHING couldve prepared me for this. i did not expect it at all, everything was so fast i was ready to take in a deep calming breath n read along w yns quick decision to go back but now theres....... hyun. hyun is here n i cant wait to know the reason, what hell say or do, how yn feels n how it plays out.. im so nervous n once again looking forward to the next chapter >.<

u once again worded everything so beautifully n im sorry its getting repetitive by now but i love ur writing n the depth to it. i hold it dear to me, this story. thanku so much for writing it w so much love, jade<3

-🤍

idk how i missed answering this !! this is so sweet, i cherished reading every line and i absolutely LOVE when you annotate, it makes me feel appreciated and fuzzy and warm inside. thank you for pointing out your favorite parts 🥺

im glad you thought hyun’s text was hot, the desperation is really there haha. and thank you for appreciating all the little flower metaphors i sprinkled in there ! i loved reading this. thank you for loving this story so much, you make me happy.

#star lost with you

5 notes · View notes

thatonebipotato · 11 months

Note

antizionist jew here. sorry to disappoint you, but antisemitism as a word was created to mean hatred against jews. it has shitty etymology because a german guy who was into eugenics created it. he meant to revamp the old word judenhass which signified a more "medieval" and religion based hatred, into a word which defined jews as an inferior race in the modern day.

trying to argue about etymology gets us nowhere when palestinian americans are being stabbed to death and jewish-parisian schoolchildren are facing bomb threats. yes, most antizionism is not antisemitism. but every so often it can be, whether that be a white supremacist co-opting the movement or a leftist who has genuinely unexamined antisemitic biases. and we need to understand what antisemtism looks like so we can shut down hatred that israel will use to continue presenting itself as the only safe place for us jews (hint: it's not).

please take this as an opportunity to learn. not calling you out but calling you in. thanks.

https://www.jewishvirtuallibrary.org/anti-semitism-or-antisemitism

alright, thank you for informing me! when trying to make sure that what i was saying was right, i found nothing that really said anything about this(i guess i just didnt look in the right places or hard enough).

what i had originally said was information that I'd gotten from many different kinds of groups, mostly others trying to shut that original argument down, so i thought wholeheartedly what i said was correct. im so sorry if i upset anyone with what i had said, i really am. i feel like i have a good enough grasp on the situation that is and has been happening, enough so that i could reiterate what I'd been taught/told on my own, but i was wrong.

i was trying to help deconstruct the argument I'd heard so many times, and i got it wrong. i have taken down the post, but some ppl did also reblog it already, so its going to stay there. cant do anything abt it, i fucked up, thats my own fault. if youre coming back from those posts to see what's up over here, uhhh here's what im saying :)

again, thank you very much for informing me! im a little new to actually being involved in things, so im very desperately trying to get everything right and try to help where i can, and im so sorry that i did it in the wrong way!

ill be sure to try staying a bit more on top of things, and thanks so much to you and also the few others who decided to help me understand, it means a lot!

2 notes · View notes

vigilskeep · 2 years

Note

Oh, this is interesting! Can I ask about n°5. for... well, all companions, actually?

zev 5. how well did your warden keep in contact with zevran after the blight? did they ever see him again?

picture awakening era anders skidding into a roomful of vigil’s keep wardens to shout that the warden-commander got a letter from antiva and everyone whooping and cheering because they know she’ll be in a good lenient mood for like a full week. in the long term um well that’s the love of her life, and if i am feeling particularly like a sap, the father of her son, so. yeah i’d say they keep in touch

alistair 5. what became of alistair after the landsmeet? how did your warden feel about their decision of alistair’s future?

not minerva and alistair inventing platonic divorce 😭 i’m afraid alistair left the party at the landsmeet. he rules jointly with anora. he and minerva are both pretty miserable abt it and scratching up the walls of their respective castles w separation anxiety. lots of vague regrets and bitterness but neither of them can say they’d make a different choice. haven’t decided if they’re friends again eventually or if i just want to elaborately fantasise abt them never reconciling until they die fighting back to back in the franchise finale last battle or something. i’ll get back to you on that

(putting the rest under a cut bc theres so many)

wynne 5. what did wynne choose to do after the blight was ended? did your warden stay in touch with her?

i honestly cannot remember for the life of me what wynne canonically does next but i know they write the world’s most passive aggressive letters

leliana 5. how well did your warden get along with leliana? what was their relationship like?

this is partly because i don’t think i’ve ever quite gotten leliana’s dao writing, but dao era minerva has a quite superficial friendship with leliana where it’s just... easy to get along with her. but i don’t think they really understand each other at all? most of the time when leliana talks i think minerva’s like, how are you even real, what world do you live in. minerva would much prefer dai leliana who is in the real world with the rest of them, even if she’d feel like she should be sorry that leliana’s less hopeful now

sten 5. was your warden amused by sten’s love of cookies?

she’ll take it as seriously as she has to for him to share. dreadful sweet tooth

oghren 5. did your warden stay on good terms with oghren after the blight? If oghren got back together with felsi, did your warden ever go to meet oghren’s child, who was named after the warden?

i actually haven’t done a full run of awakening so i can’t firmly say but minerva recruited oghren late in the blight when she was already incredibly Going Through It and she just kind of... went through the motions with him at best. it’s only in amaranthine they actually could have any kind of friendship, if they do. i think it’s interesting that he’d be the only one at the vigil at least initially who knows she’s a maleficarum

morrigan 5. was morrigan’s ritual completed? what persuaded your warden to go through with it or what caused them to refuse it?

yes. minerva didn’t go to the trouble of sparing loghain and losing alistair just to either die or let loghain sacrifice himself and take the glory. she’d take any option offered over those. and also girls support girls’ questionable blood magic rituals

loghain 5. did loghain survive the landsmeet? if he did, why did your warden choose to let him live?

he did! to contextualise, minerva is an elven mage with tevinter heritage that always marked her out in the circle even before she actually became a blood mage during the blight. she desperately wants to prove someone like her can save ferelden; she’s terrified of being remembered as the bad guy. so having to kill ferelden’s once beloved war hero after defeating him with magic in front of the whole landsmeet? she knows how that’ll turn out in the history books. the compromise riordan offered seemed like everything she wanted, she just didn’t quite expect what it would cost her

shale 5. what did your warden make of shale’s “bird issues”?

hey if templars were small and squishable she’d do it too

#minerva surana #thank u :D

12 notes · View notes

starleska · 2 years

Note

hi hi hi!! don't worry about taking a bit to respond- i got sick earlier this week which is why i didn't send in anything else for a bit either ^^!! and i am glad to see you back after taking a bit of a break, i hope things will contine uphill from here <3!! lastly i hope i didn't make you uncomfy sending you a dm, but it was the only way i could send a clip of the king candy video TT!! either way, would love to hear ur thoughts on his voice HAHA

capitalists hitting different <33 i have an unhealthy amount of ideas about flintheart glomgold, funniest part being is that he's still completely insufferable and also a total creep LMAO gyro gearloose is soooo gooood though, very valid taste! he's just so MEAN and i get that that's the point but STILL HAHAHAHHAHA u should totally rewatch it it's soooo much fun!!! and lemme know if/when you do :')!

!! the dark path you mention is so interesting!!! the losing touch with their sanity part oooo… i think king candy actually wouldn't feel as bad about being the cause of that because it's making you pay more attention to him :')! and especially when you look up things online and you just can't find ANYTHING about this guy ANYWHERE no matter how hard you look, it just kind of pushes you deeper down the rabbithole- and just weekly visits turning into daily and <33 im thinking of you somehow hiding (maybe in the bathroom or something?) and so staying behind closing hours and actually being able to see characters doing Closing Hours things and you just become convinced you've completely lost it LMAO would give u the opportunity to have a direct conversation with him though! if i do end up making a b log i will let you know :') im a bit nervous to cuz when i look in selfship tags i mostly see really sweet n wholesome stuff while i quite have a preference for yandere and stuff like it haha

it's just because i loved the original so much that i was disappointed in the sequel </3!! oh well, that's how it often is. im kinda hoping we'll see some of the characters in something like the new dreamlight valley game cuz i think sugar rush's natural environment would be pretty cool to see in there :')

i'm just glad you've been enjoying chatting <33!! awww you don't have to apologise for being a monolingual /lh HAHA i'm also just a person that's particularly fascinated with linguistics and languages, considering im studying stuff like that n wanna do a master in professional translation lolol again, would love to hear ur thoughts on it! the translation is pretty faithful so i don't have much to say abt that specifically - sweet anon

aww noo!! i'm so sorry you were sick sweet anon, are you feeling better now? 💔 and thank you very much - i desperately needed that break and am doing much better now, thank you 💖 i know we've chatted since you sent this ask but please know i'm never comfy with DMs! as long as they're not like…hateful or overly familiar, i'll always let you know if i'm uncomfortable 😂 his voice is wonderful!!

you get it!! i'm always down to hear about terrible capitalists, especially when they're extra creepy 😉 GOD thank you for not judging me…i think my tastes have gotten a little more unconventional over the years, but Gyro's a classic dreadful nerd 🥰

aww yes yes yes!!! you slowly losing contact with your real life and becoming totally immersed in the game, people irl are wondering what's happened to you, and you feel like you need to get help…ahh, i get what you mean about being nervous!! i'm quite picky with who i engage with in the selfship fandom because there can be a lot of aggression over what people enjoy. i'm a big yandere fan myself, and need you to know there's no judgement here!! just have fun 🥰

i'll finish off the rest of the ask in DMs!! thanks so much for sending this in, it's very sweet of you - no pun intended 😭😭

#starleskasks

3 notes · View notes

caspercryptid · 3 years

Note

also another one - but again, it’s just a prompt a think? not really a requests bc i’m sure you have a lot of work already but i’d also love to see jayce crushing hard on viktor and slowly recognizing that for what it is bc so far he’s only been romantically involved with women? nothing long-lasting, just short flings or one night stands and he knows how that feels, but with viktor it’s so much different? bc jayce wants to be around him all the time, wants to talk to him and keep his hand on his shoulders, and with the flings he’s had in the past there was always something he expected to get in return? but with viktor he’s fine with just being around him, he doesn’t want anything in return as long as viktor lets him work with him? tldr; jayce attempting to flirt with viktor/show him how much he cares abt him but he’s got no idea how to do that bc he’s never had anyone so important to him? and so he desperately tries to do it the way he’s done it with women in the past, and viktor’s not having it bc he knows jayce’s like that with everyone during those fancy parties (it’s requited of course they’re just idiots), yeah, thanks and have a nice weekend!!!

Alright so NORMALLY I'm not very good with prompts that are lengthier, but! We Are Mutuals, and so I really wanted to knock this one out, plus it's very sweet and it's been living in my head rent-free for a month. On a related note. I am so sorry that this took me a month. Hope you like it!

____

Okay, so, maybe he doesn’t love Viktor like a brother.

Jayce thinks he may be stupid.

Well, that’s not entirely fair. He’s conventionally smart. Intelligent, rather. Caityn’s forced him to play enough of those character building games with the dice that he thinks the operative difference between Int and Wisdom might be relevant to his current problem. Which is that he really likes Viktor. He likes Viktor a lot. He likes Viktor like he’s never liked anyone else, or at least not another guy, but actually, maybe not any other person.

With other people, this had been easy. Jayce hesitates to say with girls because he hadn’t exactly given his sexuality much thought. He hadn’t really given romance much thought. Women sort of threw themselves at him and he occasionally reciprocated enough to go through the motions. He’d had some crushes, even, women were beautiful. Men were beautiful too, but men didn’t look at him as often, and Jayce tended to rule his type as people who were into him and so that narrowed that down. Or at least into him enough to be willing to make it very, very obvious they were into him, because he wasn’t... great at this stuff.

Sex had not been hard to come by, dating had been something he’d done briefly in his first years at the academy. Apparently he was good at it. The fact that girls tended to dump him aside. There was a fairly common refrain: You’re not trying. You’re distant. You’re wonderful when you’re around. You’re never around.

And he wasn’t, in fairness.

He didn’t really want to be.

Science had been the only thing that really interested him: he understood the social script, he could play the game, he was familiar enough with what he was “supposed” to do that it wasn’t terribly hard to just do it. He was a great first date. It went downhill from there.

With Viktor, though... well.

For the first time in his life, Jayce really wanted to be good at this. And for the first time in his life... he wasn’t.

He bought Viktor flowers (Viktor said they were lovely and really livened up the place and put them on a communal table. When Sky asked he’d said Jayce had gotten them for the lab.) Jayce got him chocolate and okay, he should have known that one was going to be a failure, he’d brought Viktor food and sweets enough time that Viktor accepting them with a passive little thank you about tracks. Want to get lunch? What time, oh we do that anyway. Want to get coffee? Why would we get coffee, Jayce, there’s coffee here. Jayce is about to lose his mind.

He’s trying to come up with a line again, in the lab at some ungodly hour of the morning, talking to himself as he cycles through the ones he’s tried and runs an energy test on a hexgem.

“Coffee? Tried that. Flowers? Tried that. Teddy bear? I don’t know if he’d like those stupid ones with the little heart messages. Surely he can’t misunderstand if I actually outright get a heart that says I love you on it, hell, get it monogrammed, just fucking write I love you, Viktor-”

There’s the sound of shattering porcelain.

Shit.

Jayce turns around, slowly. Viktor is standing in the doorway, staring at him. Jayce opens and closes his mouth, and then he looks down at the mug Viktor’s just dropped. It’s the piltover commemorative one with Jayce’s portrait on it. A chunk of his nose is sitting on the toe of Viktor’s shoe.

“—My face.” Jayce says, sounding way more distraught than probably appropriate.

“You love me?” Viktor asks, and then, “Shut up. Wait, don’t shut up. Forget about the mug. What?”

“I— Viktor, I brought you flowers.”

“You bring everybody flowers!” Viktor says, indignant, looking flushed from— Jayce assumes embarrassment. “You brought Mrs. Kiramman flowers last night!”

“They weren’t roses!”

“What the fuck does the breed of flower have to do with anything.”

Jayce looks at him. “Breed?”

“Is that— not the— do I look like I know anything about flowers, Jayce! I only know three kinds in Zaun! Fumewort, Dandelion, and Ghost pipe! And Dandelions are— nevermind. Nevermind! You haven’t answered the question!”

“Of course I love you.” Jayce says, flushing. “I’ve been— I don’t know how I could have made it more obvious! I’ve— practically been courting—”

“And what exactly would I know about Piltover courtship, Jayce!” Viktor says, and Jayce winces, not entirely understanding why Viktor is yelling, and somehow that makes Viktor angrier, and he stalks over. Jayce tenses, half expecting to get smacked.

“Look I can stop if i’m making you unc—”

Viktor’s kissing him.

The whole world grinds to a halt, and for a single shameful second Jayce freezes and forgets to kiss him back, and Viktor pulls back, leaving the taste of coffee on his lips.

“You love me.” Viktor says. “If you mean it, you had better come here.”

Jayce has to take a breath, sees the second of fear and doubt in Viktor’s face before he chases it away, leaning in to wrap his arms around Viktor’s back, almost pulling him off his feet before Viktor winces and pulls back with a little hiss.

“Jayce, Jayce, easy—”

“Oh gods i’m so— I really can’t do anything right.”

Jayce goes to let Viktor go, but Viktor doesn’t let him, throwing an arm around his neck and leaning more into his chest, carefully shifting his own weight to use Jayce as a support.

“You can.” Viktor says, smiling that mischievous little grin Jayce has always loved. “You just haven’t up till now. Let's change that, shall we?”

Jayce leans in to kiss him again, and this time, he does everything right.

#jayvik #jayce x viktor #jayce talis #viktor arcane #casper's haunted fic tag #I really didn't mind how long this request was by the way you were totally fine but sometimes other people send long ones that suck #so I had to note it #you were gucci though I loved this

256 notes · View notes

frogtanii · 4 years

Text

WRITTEN BIT BABEY :)

you leave the room with a heavy weight sitting on your heart that is only amplified by the serious look on kenma’s face. you ignore it in favor of turning on the tv and going to disney+, queuing up the original mulan knowing how into the story hinata would get. still refusing to face your friend, you move to the kitchen digging around the cabinets to find snacks.

“yn,” the sound of your name jolts you out of your focus even though you were expecting it. “can we please talk?”

it feels like the air has been sucked out of the room, the only thing remaining being a heavy blanket of tension draping over the two of you. when you chance a look at kenma, you’re taken aback by the unreadable look on his face--it's overwhelming and you have to take a step back.

you turn away from him, unable to look for long without your mind racing and heart clenching with unknown guilt. a hand gently touches your shoulder, the feeling sending a shock of discomfort down your spine.

"we need to talk about kuroo," kenma starts, his golden eyes desperately searching for your own but you refuse to make eye contact, too afraid of what his expression might hold. when you don't move to face him, kenma sighs and moves somewhere behind you. the sound of a barstool scraping against the tiled floors alerts you that he's probably sitting down which signals a long and emotion-packed conversation.

"he texted me today." the relatively innocent statement is weighed down by the many implications behind it. your mind begins to race--what could that even mean? did he talk about you? your childhood? what he had done to you and more importantly, why? "what did you guys talk about?" the question is out of your mouth before you can stop it, desperation creeping into the edges of your voice.

you finally, finally, shift to face him, mentally steeling yourself for the upbringing of things you'd much rather forget.

"he's playing with you yn. you know it, i know it, he knows it. you need to separate yourself from him," kenma says, his voice monotone and soft. "i-i love you, you know that right?" you nod but remain tight-lipped, allowing your best friend to finish his piece.

"i know you think he's changed but some people never do. i just- i wouldn't be able to live with myself if i didn't say anything and let him hurt you like before." he lets out a deep breath and runs his hands through his almost entirely brown hair. something glints under the soft kitchen lights and you recognize it as the bracelet you'd bought him back in your first year of high school. you smile to yourself, not noticing the look of admiration in his eyes and the soft smile gracing his lips.

the sound of a door opening startles the both of you from your silent reverie, your eyes trailing to the hallway where hinata stands bundled up in four blankets and looking absolutely miserable. "oh shō," you whisper, his puffy eyes already welling up with tears.

kenma moves faster than you, kindly (well as kind as kenma can be) moving the hinata burrito to the couch with you following closely behind. you plop yourself down right next to the redhead, his body coming to rest in your lap. you can't help but lean down and press a kiss to his forehead, running your fingers through his orange locks.

"w-what were y-you guys talking a-about?" shōyō asks, his voice watery and thick with tears. you shake your head at his question, not wanting to bog him down with depressing tales about one of his friends. "nothing baby, nothing. how are you feeling? do you need anything? water, snacks?" your fingers never leave his head, even when he turns to look at you frustratedly, his cheeks puffing in annoyance.

"i want you to tell me what you guys were talking about," he orders, fumbling his body burrito until he's sitting upright between you and kenma. "i'm not a baby, y'know."

kenma barks out a laugh, leaning over to ruffle hinata's hair. "says the one who's been crying all day," hinata giggles at the contact before kenma adds, "baby." you grin as hinata tries to force a pout on his face but it doesn't work, a small smile worming its way there instead.

"we can talk about it later, hm?" you say as you stand before moving to the kitchen to get snacks. hinata nods and snuggles into kenma's arms while mulan begins to play in the background. you're quick to join them, handing a bag of chips to kenma while shō presses a kiss to your cheek before settling in to watch the movie.

------

turns out the later was much later--you'd gotten through all of mulan, frozen one and two, and half of moana before hinata tried to bring kuroo up again.

"shō, you really don't want to hear about it," you groan while cleaning up the kitchen, carefully evading hinata as he follows close behind. "but you promised," he whines, finally grabbing hold of you and resting his head on your shoulder. kenma pops his head from around the corner with a mouthful of pocky's and shakes his head before speaking up. "you should tell him--he deserves to know why you transfered to karasuno in our third year."

you roll your eyes before bopping hinata on the forehead, sending him to the ground with a moan. "fine but if i'm going to be forced to relive the hell that was my high school years, i'm gonna do it over text." with that, you playfully stomp back over to the couch, bringing out your phone and lying down, determined to get this conversation over with as fast as possible.

storytime!!

series masterlist

——————————————————————————

an: holy shit this took me FOREVER AND IT SUCKS ASS IM SO SORRY this is not how i wanted this explanation to go but my writing juice dissipated i am so sorry 😞 don’t worry abt feeding me idk if i wanna hear it for this trash LMAO

EDIT: I REDID IT SO KUROO IS LESS EVIL PLS DISREGARD EVERYTHING YOU MIGHT HAVE READ EARLIER GOMEN

taglist: if your name is in bold, i cannot tag you

@suhkusa • @tamaguchi • @heyyourecute • @yn-tingz • @mymelodysbreakfastburrito • @tadashi-simp • @bbyouamazin • @1987hotschott • @elianetsantana • @sunflowerirl • @amberalisa • @animeboihoe • @iloveyouasmuchaspoohloveshoney • @xo-lovelyreign-xo • @vitalthot • @starry-magicshop • @mariachiii • @karasunobbys • @underratedmage • @seomisaho • @timeturnerss • @h0ngh0ngh0ng • @myeggodied • @nekomacam • @smuttyanimeslut • @iminlovewhaikyuu • @saturnfarie • @dreamstormings • @spikertrash • @just-snog-already • @quiche-inoya • @strawbabytsukki • @sky-has-a-main-ig • @xxsweetbubblegumxx • @imnotyourramonaflowersbruh • @naimalove143 • @bakarinnie • @bakudad • @birdiewolf • @letthemreadfanfiction • @tsukkiboii • @misluck

889 notes · View notes

livingprophecy · 3 years

Text

@fateviled asked: ‘ i am too tired to deal with any of this. ’ ( selene to cas im sorry abt this actually ) / growling suggestions.

𝐓𝐇𝐄 𝐖𝐀𝐘 𝐒𝐄𝐋𝐄𝐍𝐄 burns herself at both ends scares cas sometimes. it’s the opposite end of the spectrum from the way he was dealing with all of this; she hadn’t stopped to even breathe, meanwhile he had barely gotten off the couch. and that was after she’d dragged him out of bed in the first place. the unfortunate thing is, they’re both exhausted. when cas did have the energy, he was out trying to find delphine and stop her just the same as selene was doing, and they were coming up empty time and time again. there’s only so many brick walls you can run into before you’re knocked out cold. running a hand down his face, he lets out a loud sigh, finally tearing his eyes away from the show he really wasn’t focused on. whatever was on her phone seemed important, considering how stressed she looked in response. “you know, a logical person would use that as a sign to GO THE FUCK TO SLEEP.” how hypocritical could he be? he avoided closing his eyes because every night, a different version of the last few weeks played out, and his voice was raw from screaming himself awake. he’s never felt so useless, curled in her arms, not getting any better. (at least he’s not getting worse).

𝐁𝐔𝐓 𝐒𝐄𝐋𝐄𝐍𝐄 𝐈𝐒 a real problem, not like the ones in his head, and it’s one he can fix if he tries hard enough. rolling his eyes, cas reaches up to her and snatches the phone out of her hands, pointed look directed at her. “stop. you’re going to crash and burn and i need you — ” his throat closes before he can finish his statement: admitting to it still made his mind start reeling, and all he can think of is the panic in her voice over the phone that night. blinking, he looks down. “and that’s not going to be pretty. SO JUST SIT DOWN. before i tie you to a chair or something.” her phone is tossed next to him on the couch as he pulls his legs up to his chest, resting against the pillow next to him. both of them were so evidently not okay — he just has no idea how to get better when so much has happened, and he has no idea how to help selene. she’s always been the strongest person in his life. (how could he not have seen she was struggling? was he selfish, desperate to be the center of attention, or simply a coward?) “i could just say i didn’t sleep last night and fall asleep on top of you. then you’re really not going anywhere.” he adds, now just grumbling to himself. BUT HE HADN’T SLEPT; he’d stared at the ceiling all night, scared of what he’d see when he actually tried. and he’s certain she hadn’t either, considering the bags under her eyes. “you can have your phone back after you nap or something.”

#fateviled #hey eza remember when i said i wasn't doing asks #well i dropped a chunk of drafts so #i'm cheating #just a bit<3 #it's simultaneously the most sibling energy while also being really fucking awful.#and the worst part is he probably didn't tell her he didn't sleep #not to hide it but because he didn't want to lie #and say he slept fine #he just feels like he's bothering her at night sometimes coming in to sleep and just .#yeah i'm . fucking upset . go away #he only sleeps in like 45 minute bursts if we're being honest #without her . so #anyways.#fateviled ) cas & selene.#&. 𝐂𝐀𝐒𝐏𝐄𝐑 𝐖𝐀𝐃𝐄 ) tell me how all this and love too will ruin us. these; our bodies possessed by light.#&. 𝐀𝐍𝐒𝐖𝐄𝐑𝐄𝐃 ) i heard melodies from angels.#q.

7 notes · View notes

commander-diomika · 3 years

Note

I am Very Tipsy (okay I'm drunk so sorry about spelling but also ¯\_(ツ)_/¯) but I just wanted to say that since I started reading your rqg series I have not been able to stop thinking about it! I mean the fucking development of it all just really gets to me it's incredible, don't get me wrong i like most interpretations of their relationship but there's just a soft spot for me when it comes to 'if I wasn't stuck with you we never would have gotten past how incredibly annoying you are' like every interaction they have pre-timeskip is deliberately pissing the other off and I feel like a lot of writers kinda side step it (again not a criticism) and I just love that you can feel the frustration when you write them. I mean in 'always forgive your enemies' you've got Zolf trying desperately to be like "no I've grown as a person it's been a long time he's clearly been through Some Stuff and maybe we'll be able to work together" and then Wilde says 1 sentence and zolfs immediately like "actually no fuck you I was right to not give a shot when you got tossed off a ship you're a tool" and the development of that to I don't like you but we've gotta work to whether to I don't dislike you but your friend sucks and no I'm not jealous what the fuck are you talking about to the terrified guilty rage if not being listened to but oh gods is he gonna be okay in 'experience' (along with just the utter heartbreak of Wilde almost reaching out to Zolf because yeah he does trust him now but then remembering that this is contagious and what if hes infected and what if it's HIS fault that Zolf gets sick and immediately shutting down and putting himself through a week in solitary IN THE ROOM HE SHARED WITH BOSIE SURROUNDED BY THOSE MEMORIES TOTALLY TRAPPED WITH THAT KNOWLEDGE BY THE PERSON HE TRUSTS BY HIS OWN ORDERS I MEAN FUCK DUDE and the kind of flirting except no I'm not but I mean if *you* were I wouldn't not be????? In 'the country' and 'talked about' and even then there's so many guards up and there's so much in the way - the blame the self loathing the guilt and the anger of it all AND the whole theres 2 people who had never met before we introduced them who shouldn't work are doing WHAT in quarantine (and also 👀👀👀👀👀👀👀) AND FUCK DUDE THE LATEST INSTALLMENT!? IVE BEEN THINKING ABOUT IT SINCE YOU RELEASED IT HOLY FUCK! THE UNFAIRNESS OF THE SITUATION THE BETRAYAL OF SOMETHING LIKE THAT HUT THE ONLY THING YOU CAN BLAME IS THE CIRCUMSTANCE THE ONLY ONES YOU CAN CURSE ARE THE GODS BECAUSE THIS ISNT HOW IT WAS SUPPOSED TO GO! THIS ISNT FAIR! WILDE SHOULD HAVE BEEN ABLE TO MAKE THAT DECISION FOR HIMSELF ZOLF SHOULD HAVE BEEN ABLE TO FEEL TRUSTED THEY SHOULD HAVE BEEN ALLOWED TO FEEL SAFE AND TRUSTED AND WHOLE AND TOGETHER AND THIS FUCKING INFECTION TOOK THAT! IT FORCED WILDE TO TALK ABOUT IT IN CIRCUMSTANCES HE COULDN'T CHOOSE! IT MADE ZOLF KNOW ABOUT BEFORE HED ACTUALLY BEEN TRUSTED WITH IT! AND IT WAS SO FUCKING UNFAIR AND DUDE IT WAS INCREDIBLE I JUST CANT ARTICULATE HOW I FEEL ABOUT IT AND THE WHOLE DISCUSSION JUST GOD IM YELLING IN MY OWN HEAD BUT NONE OF THE WORDS EXIST! I know a while ago you said you'd read something and you weren't sure about your own writing but Hank oh my fucking god please know that I've been thinking about what you wrote for the last month, I've been talking about it to my friends I'm so hyped for anything you have to write and I have no idea where you want to go with this or what points you plan to hit and everytime I get a notification I'm both excited and terrified and I just love it so fucking much your writing is incredible

Ooh my friend I have been waiting for your comment since I posted "Punish", I have come to enjoy your tipsy insights because yeah!! You get it! These fkn onion boys and their LAYERS of barriers they've both got up around intimacy (and yes I absolutely LOVED contrasting that with Barnes and Carter who in my head canon met like... 6 weeks ago? And just blew straight past any agonising over what it meant and got on with it. There's more of them in the next scene too BTW).

As soon as I decided I wanted to tackle the time gap with a trans Wilde, the strip inspections were the first thing I knew I'd have to wrestle with, and I KNEW it would be brutal and unfair and un-fun but also?? Absolutely one of the draws to ZolfWilde is that they've been through some absolute shit together, and exploring how instead of turning into unhealthy trauma bonding, it grows into something unlikely yet beautiful, and the fucked-up trans reveal was just another thing on the pile that they overcome or work through.

And Zolf has the thought of "this isn't how its supposed to go" but he wouldn't even be as close Wilde if not for the fucked up circumstances. There's no "supposed to". If this hadn't happened, Zolf and Wilde would have never worked together and continued to distantly think the other one was a git if they crossed paths. So it's a parodox of a thought.

Thank you for your nice words abt my writing, as always. I'm gonna go work on the next part u legend.

#Ask hank #Just realised I should tag stuff about the fic with a single tag instead of just general RQG #Strange Company

8 notes · View notes

darkmulti · 4 years

Text

Last Night Alive

Incubus!San and Jongin x female reader

⚠️Warnings: spanking, threesome, double penetration, (cold, juicy fucking), spitting, slapping, dacryphilia kink, fear kink, knife play (but it’s really claw play), blood, blowjob, death, violence, whipping, language, degradation, bondage, overstimulation

it’s an incubus smut, what do you expect? Rough fucking

No one asked, but it’s my blog🤷🏽‍♀️

——————————————————————————

“What do you want from me now? Leave me alone San!”

She rolls her eyes and slams the door on his face.

“But- but you didn’t even allow me to tell you what I want”

“Too bad!”

She yells from the other side of the door. Her arms cross and she turns on her heels, but just as she did, San’s face was an inch away. Her eyebrows scrunched up in confusion, and she immediately stepped back.

“Where are you going angel?”

San starts walking towards her.

“San how did you get inside my house?”

She puts her hand out and tries to stop him from moving any closer but it didn’t work. He grabs her wrist and twists it, making her release a cry of pain. In anger, he pushes her against the wall and grabs her neck. The furious male effortlessly slides her body up, against the door.

“San what are you doing? Let go!”

Her fingers rapidly taps on his hand and she even tries to pry his fingers off. Unfortunately, luck wasn’t on her side. She holds her breath for as long as she could, until San slams her onto the floor. Her head hits the ground and knocks the consciousness out of her body.

San grows his nails out to sharp points. He sits on her lower stomach and cuts lightly on her neck; imitating a “Cut here” instruction. Underneath the lines he writes, “I am owned by Choi San.”

With a satisfied but sinister smile plastered across his face, he licks all the blood off her neck, then proceeds to carry her unconscious state back to hell.

——

“My little brother outdid himself once again. She’s a real beauty, San.”

The man crouches down and cups the girls face, admiring her light, but complementing features. His touch tickled against her soft cheeks. She looked too good to be true.

“She’s a beauty and a brat. Make sure you fuck that attitude out of her, Jongin. If you don’t, then I will. You tend to be a little softy towards these worthless chicks.”

Jongin rolls his eyes at his little brother's comment and stands up.

“Yeah yeah whatever. Now get the fuck out of here.”

“Not so fast brother. I got you a girl, I want something in return.”

“Really? That’s so interesting San, but I don’t really give a shit. I have nothing to offer.”

He shrugs his shoulder until San speaks again.

“You will give a shit when you look at her neck.”

“What?”

Jongin quickly tilts her head up to reveal the cuts San had left earlier.

“What the fuck San?! You already marked her.”

He yells in disappointment.

“My dearest brother. Do you think I’m stupid? Of course my one and only dick of a brother wouldn’t give me back something in return. You can use her, but at the end of each day, she’ll come crawling back into my arms.”

With that, San leaves his older brother in the basement.

Jongin rubs his face, not knowing how to feel, which was ironic because he couldn’t feel anything.

Although he couldn’t have you as his, he shall continue to desire your body, mind and soul for as long as you live.

——

“THIS IS WHAT YOU GET WHORE!”

His arms swing back and whips her again, making her sob harder. Blood from the cuts were gracefully glided down to her thighs, as she struggled in the restraints.

“I FUCKING KNEW IT! YOU WERE FUCKING MY BROTHER THIS ENTIRE TIME, WITH THAT DISGUSTING LITTLE CUNT OF YOURS!”

“Please, I’m sorry daddy.”

“A sorry doesn’t fix anything. This is your punishment and if I see one more tear pop out of those pretty little eyes, this will definitely be your last night alive.”

Another sob leaves her pretty mouth. Her tears were uncontrollably. They just kept coming and coming.

“San! Please.”

This time his hand spanks her purple ass.

“What’s my name princess?”

San pulled the leash, making your head look up.

“Oh, I’m sorry daddy! It slipped I promise! Please believe me!”

She pleaded with guilt and tears packed in her eyes.

“Believe you? After you’ve fucked my brother, how many times?”

He spits on your face then slaps it after.

He completely ruined her.

From head to toe.

The lingerie that she was forced to wear was ripped into pieces scattered across the floor and bed. Blood was present on the bed sheets and her bruised body. Puddles of cum were all over the concrete floor.

San pushes her face into the mattress and opens the door.

“JONGIN! COME HERE NOW!”

In a blink of an eye, he was standing behind you, naked.

“I heard everything from upstairs, and I cannot be more ready for this. Did this dumb bitch really think that I loved her? She is indeed a dumb cunt.”

San shuts the door and makes his way back. He flips the clueless girl over, making her groan. Her heels kept her butt up from touching the mattress, before Jongin pulled her legs and she felt an unbearable sting on her buttcheek. She cries and cries, while the two demons get off by it.

Jongin strokes his cock, that’s standing strong and proud. He makes his way towards you and shoves it in without mercy. San hovers over your mouth and shoves his dick down your throat.

“This is what you get slut. I can smell Jongin’s cum on you, and you thought you were fucking slick. I know everything babygirl. Dumb whore is what you are. My brother told me all the nasty things you did to him.”

He pulls on her hair and shoves it deeper down her throat making her gag. San takes himself out and throws the half dead girl onto the floor. Her eyes were swollen from all the crying. She didn’t even try to get up.

San laughs at her pathetic figure.

“Already knocked out whore? We haven’t even gotten started.”

Jongin smirked at his younger brother's behaviour.

“Hmm, I guess you are rough in bed.”

The older demon walks to Y/N, picks her up and puts her back on the bed. He tied the leash onto the bed frame so she can’t leave. He also covered her mouth with a lovely tie.

“Shall we start the feast?”

The brothers give each other ‘the look’. San put her on all fours and slides underneath her. He guides her pussy onto his cock and let’s her sit down. Once the two were comfortable, Jongin slammed the cock inside her tight butthole, punching all the oxygen out of her. The fragile girl collapses on San, not being ready to take him in.

All they could do was chuckle at the helpless and hurt girl. San wraps his arms tightly around the upper half of her body and pulls her down. His hips thrusted up into her and signaled Jongin to also start.

The two demons started pounding into her, giving her no mercy. She winces and screams, but they simply ignore her and keep going faster and harder.

After a solid 3 hours of fucking, San gives her some of his blood to keep her alive. The blood dissolves on her tongues and she re-gains a little bit of strength.

“Remember darling? Remember when you slammed the door in my face? This is your punishment for it.”

His hips start moving faster than Jongins, and the brittle girl takes it all. Cum was leaking out of her mouth at this point, like a broken water pipe. She’s had multiple orgasms, yet the boys didn’t have one.

But a sudden yelp left the girl's mouth and she felt the man behind her, knead the sore ass. San kneads her tits and spits all over her face.

Her precious sweat dripped onto San’s muscular chest. She tried to get up to straighten her back, but her weak arms didn’t allow it.

“Stay with me darling. You’ve been doing so well.”

San rubs her back and continues his pace in her. She cuddles up into his neck and focuses on nothing but to breathe. Her eyes start to close on their own until Jongin pulls her up by her hair and makes you look at San.

“Apologize to him.”

“Why?”

She whimpers out.

“Why? For fucking cheating on him you whore.”

His cock went deeper inside you and you immediately apologize over and over to San.

Her desperation made both of their cocks twitch. Before she knew it, another painful orgasm rips through.

“OW OW OW OW, FUCK! STOP THRUSTING PLEASE IT HURTS!”

She begs.

The men release all their cum inside you, making her a cum bag. Her walls shiver on San’s cock, making him moan out. Her butthole was throbbing around Jongin’s fat cock. When he finally pulled out of her, cum came rushing out, dripping onto her thighs.

She trembles and cries. San pulls her down onto his chest, and Jongin lays next to him with the little one in the middle.

“Told you it was your last night alive. You’re officially dead, and stuck in hell with us.”

——————————————————————————

Whew, this wasn’t a request, but like why not? This also wasn’t very good and my apologies for that, it was really tough to think abt the story line.

Anyways I’m gonna do another request tmrw❣️

Hope you enjoyed❣️ edited🔐

Xoxo, N❣️

#exo #kai #jongin #kim jongin #exo smut #san smut #ateez san #exo kai #choi san #jongin smut #kai smut #ateez #ateez smut #ateez and exo

298 notes · View notes

overgrownlive · 3 years

Text

My first live blogged series was the Lunar Chronicles. Unfortunately, I only started blogging during Fairest, and the majority of my thoughts were from Winter. But I'm glad that I read it and shared my thoughts as I did.

That said, I wanted to share my thoughts on the series as a whole because it's been a while since I've gotten this invested in a YA series and tlc blew me away.

Spoiler warning!!!

Cinder-

My sibling recommended the book/series to me. They read it a while ago, and I was looking for some good old fashioned escapism (life is rough, yadda yadda) and I took the suggestion because I love reimagined fairy tales. I also love aliens. And cyberpunk.

So naturally I was on board from chapter one.

I actually originally thought that Cinder was gonna end up having the info on the lost princess lost in her coding. Didn't expect her to be selene bc I thought it was too obvious. I need to stop playing 5D chess with inter-dimensional time travel with YA authors.

I love Kai. I love Iko. I love(d) Peony. I have a love/hate relationship with Cinder and Torin.

Dr. Erland was my favorite character until I figured out why he started the cyborg draft bc dude there were so many better ways to do that. Like....idk you could have looked at the immigration files from Europe and found what family adopted a cyborg five years ago from Reiux France. But ...whatever. Fine.

Everyone might hate me for this opinion but I felt that the feelings that Kai had for cinder were very forced, especially at first. She barely spoke to him, she was just some girl. Idk, I didn't get it. Of course, once we get Kais perspective and he explains that he kinda asked cinder out for convenience I was like "ahh, yes...the fake dating trope. My favorite." /Gen. But then I got confused bc his feelings seemed genuine? Idk it was very confusing but tbh I didn't give a shit about their relationship, I wanted to know what was going on with Luna. I wanted to know about the plot. I wanted Cinder to save Peony and I thought she was going to.

And when she didn't

I almost cried.

I wanted Kai to save the common wealth. I didn't want him to marry Levana or make any deals with her

And when he did

I almost screamed

I understand the feelings now that I've read the whole series. I think it was more of an instinct thing. But at the time, before I knew how they fit together, I was really confused. They just seemed too different and too thrown together.

But, like I said, that didn't dissuade me from reading: the plot, the characters individually, and the world building were enough to keep me going. I'm not someone who reads YA for romance.

Scarlet-

Tbh this was my least favorite book. Again, not really interested in the romance between scar and wolf. I guess it's just that I knew they'd end up together in the end so it didn't really matter to me. I also knew wolf would betray her and I knew she'd be like "jk still love you" and he'd be like "same"

Also my grandma is fucking crazy in the bad way (I'm sorry if you love your grandma, I'm sure your grandma is very nice. Mine is not) and I would not do any of this for her so I can't relate to scarlet on that front. I like to think I'm like her in the strong, firecracker sense. But besides that, there's not a lot of relatability for me so idk

Thorne is my bestie and I love him. His friendship with Cinder got me through the book ngl. I feel bad saying this bc I really do love the series, and I like scarlet and wolf, I just wouldn't read a book about only them: if Thorne and cinder weren't in this book, I would've dropped the series.

I didn't like how wolf had to do everything for her. Like jump off the train and save her from ran and bust her out of prison and shit. Like, yeah, she shot him once but like...idk. not my fav. I think they have an interesting dynamic and I like the characters and their relationship is cute, I just was kinda like ..."okay, cool" the whole time. Not my thing I guess?

That's kinda all I have to say about this one? Idk, I still enjoyed it, I just also barely remember it and I feel like the main purpose was to set us up for angst later in winter.

Cress-

So Rapunzel is one of my favorite fairy tales and I love this retelling. The way that cress' feet get fucked up and Thorne loses his vision I was like "YES THATS SO CLEVER NFKSKRWKKA"

Also the foreshadowing abt their relationship. Thorne is one of my favs, I'm a sucker for asshole gremlins who want to be better.

The way that they kidnap Kai at the end made me laugh so hard. Torin helping melted my heart. I am now invested in cinder and Kais relationship, it doesn't feel forced anymore. It feels like they both saw something in each other that was so abstract that even the reader can't quite grasp it. Kai still has her foot. Why did he keep it? They think about each other constantly. They both have responsibilities that nobody else can understand, but at least they can both try. They want the same thing but neither can have it. They have similarities now. They fit better, now. I get it, now.

Dr erland being cress' father was something I saw coming but also didn't care about, I felt like we could've gone without that. It would be just as powerful if the DNA test came back negative. Erland was hoping, out of desperation, that his crescent moon was still alive. But he really did lose her. Idk.

I loved the desert. The symbolism.

I loved how they both had to rely on each other. I love the dynamic between cress and Thorne. How cress wanted a hero to save her, how Thorne didn't think he could be a hero ever. How they both were a hero for each other.

Thorne taught cress how to survive outside of her satellite. He taught her how to live on Earth. He was there when she took her first steps on feet that had never walked before. Not really.

And cress taught Thorne how to rely on others. She saved him from his sense of self, a view of his life that labeled him as a worthless criminal. She taught him how to care about other people. She taught him to see people, instead of look at them.

It killed me. I love them.

Fairest-

Fuck Levana

Winter-

I loved winter as a character and I really liked the way the story ended. I loved the confession scene between Thorne and cress and most of the rest of my thoughts/big takeaways and opinions can be inferred from my liveblogs.

One thing I will say, though, is I hate how Cinder plans on giving up her rule. I understand that she wants to dissolve the monarchy, but I think she should run for president or Parliament or whatever government she sets up.

Also like...if there's technology that stops lunar from abusing their power...doesn't the whole monarchy thing like...still work??? Idk

Overall this was probably the most engaging YA series I've read in a while. The characters were all diverse and individual and I loved the plot and world building. I've been done with the series for a few weeks and still think about it every day.

#linh cinder #the lunar chronicles #tlc cress #tlc thorne #tlc cinder #tlc winter #scarlet tlc #scarlet benoit #tlc spoilers #the lunar chronicles spoilers #kai tlc #emperor kaito #prince kai

5 notes · View notes

bchanslvr · 3 years

Note

tw: talk of loss of appetite tw: talk of eating disorder tw: talk of starving tw: talk of weight, throwing up & nausea !!

hi wifey sorry to be annoying or a burden, just felt like venting :)) so my mom got mad at me earlier bc i didn’t have one full meal today and she was like “ that’s how people get eating disorders ” and i was like “ it was just today? i didn’t feel like eating” but i just haven’t had the appetite bc i REALLY wanna loose weight and i don’t seem to have motivation to do like workouts and shit so i was thinking that starving myself for a few days a week/just eating like once a day with only drinking detox water or tea (that’ll help with weight loss) would work. and i’d just do that all summer. i just wanna be happy with myself yk? i’ve tried throwing up some of the food i’ve eaten. sometimes i’ll just think about what’s in the food or just smell it and i’ll loose appetite, i do that a lot actually. i stopped really eating breakfast, sometimes i’ll just drink coffee or tea or just make like soup or something. for lunch, it kinda just depends on what my grandma makes to eat for everyone but i seem to eat dinner the most and i hate it. + i don’t want to be the “thick” friend. or sometimes when people tell me they wish they had my body when i absolutely hate it and am trying to change it so desperately, i understand it’s a compliment, but it honestly just makes me feel worse - like they have to say something so i don’t feel bad abt myself, or gross or so they don’t look bad idk. maybe they genuinely like it but i don’t see it at all?? my stomach hurts and i feel nauseous rn. maybe tomorrow i’ll make a fruit smoothie for breakfast and eat something small for lunch or dinner. but ty for listening ily

- tired🪱

baby, i’m so sorry i didn’t answer this sooner. my mom caught me past my bedroom and took away my phone for the night because she thought i wouldn’t sleep and just look at my phone. i love you baby, there’s more stuff under the cut :)

i rarely say this but your mom is right darling. if you’re starving yourself on purpose and throwing up food just because of your weigh that’s bad. you’ll develop a habit, and when you do eat a full meal again your body will not be able to take it and you’ll just retch it back out.

and i hate to say this but i’ve been doing the same thing but i can’t. i’ve been also trying to eat less, not at all if i can. i hate my body so much. and you know what’s worse? my family doesn’t even hold back. “you’ve gotten fat”, “are you eating again?”, and they make me feel so bad about myself but when i do try not to eat they force me too. but they’ll say it all over again and their only excuse is “we’re your family. be happy that i’m pointing it out and not some stranger“. but like. i would rather have my non-existent friend call me fat than my own family.

and i’m lazy and only do workouts for pe but other than that i don’t do shit. i get you so much but please please don’t starve yourself. your body will not be happy. it’ll have to resort to using your body for energy because your not providing enough for it. and you’ll become tired and weak, and malnourished and we don’t want that do we?

i love you so much babe and i don’t want you to ruin your body. just eat less that’s it. go on a diet! eat fruits! they have high in protein and nutrients and you don’t usually put weight on that. or maybe just skip one meal per day. NOT BREAKFAST. maybe lunch or dinner because you need the energy in the morning to get through the day.

like you said, make some healthy smoothies! just don’t starve yourself my love. your beautiful no matter what. and i know this is so cliche but it doesn’t matter what’s on the outside, but what on the inside.

i love you so much. i’m so proud of you. your so beautiful and talented. have a wonderful day my love <3

#🪱 anon #tw food #disordered eating #tw weight discussion #tw throwing up

4 notes · View notes

kitty8roses · 4 years

Text

This is what I sent to her lol (under a cut tho bc im not that mean)

DONT LOOK UNDER THIS CUT FOR GIVEN SPOILERS!!!!

Ritsuka quickly realizes that Mafuyu is an exceptionally talented singer, and invites him to join the band. Ritsuka learns that Mafuyu's guitar was previously owned by Yuuki, Mafuyu's childhood friend and boyfriend who died in an apparent suicide. The band begins composing music in advance of a live performance, but Mafuyu is unable to write lyrics for the song.

On the day of the performance, Mafuyu has a breakthrough and sings a powerful song about his feelings of loss over Yuuki. The song prompts Ritsuka to realize his romantic feelings for Mafuyu; he kisses him backstage, and they begin dating shortly thereafter.

The band names itself – "Given", in tribute to the guitar given to Mafuyu by Yuuki – and begin to develop a following after posting a video of their live performance online. Given qualifies for a major amateur music festival, and begin preparing new material. Their efforts are complicated when Akihiko, who Haruki secretly has romantic feelings for, becomes involved with his roommate and ex-boyfriend Ugetsu.

Ok so in the beginning of our show: our first protag mafuyu sato is seen walking to school In the rain (with an umbrella tho lol) he says, as narrator, “mafuyu is not lonely.” And also some other stuff that’s all vibe you know? So THIS is repeated through out the series with him saying that “mafuyu isn’t lonely” especially when something bad happens. The thing is he IS lonely. Why you may ask? Well, his ex boyfriend from middle school killed himself and he thinks it’s his fault and stuff. They had gotten into an argument and he drank himself to death. RIP yuki. The only time where I personally believe this statement of ‘not loneliness’ is true is after Uenoyama (other protagonist and love interest) kisses him. I think that’s very swagger. Right before sed kiss mafuyu sang a song that he wrote at a live performance with da band about his heartbreak with yuki’s death. The person he truly loved. It’s called fuyu no hashi and I recommend you give it a listen it’s really good. Uhm but uhhh he realizes after da kiss that he has a new love ❤️ Ue! Yay canon gay ship time let’s party owah owah

NOW I wanna talk abt the opening and op lyrics. They are SO GOOD. they explain Mafuyu’s situation so we’ll just *mwah*. I think it’s called kizuato. There’s this one part where the singer (which could be interpreted as mafuyu despite it not be8gn his voice) says “Rainy, sunny and cloudy

Spring, Summer, Fall and Winter. 365 days. You remain in all of them.” When he says the last line “you remain in all of them” we see mafuyu holding his guitar when a pair of arms wraps around him from behind like a hug. He shifts and kind of like compresses himself? Like you know what would happen if you got a hug. These arms are kinda transparent and they disappear before the line and that clip is over. AT FIRST before I knew about yuki and all that I thoguht they were from his late dad but now I believe the arms belong to yuki. Mafuyu’s dad was abusive and hit him when he spoke and I thoguht that would be the part of his trauma the show focused on but it wasn’t, instead they focused on yuki and his death more. Anyways I thoguht that was cool and representative of what happened pretty well.

Part of it also makes me wanna cry tho. It says “Dig them out. Take away these memories. The invisible voices that wouldn't reach. That Make me suffer/ suffocate me. Search deeper and take a look at this pain inside of me.” Specifically the “take away these memories” part just,, damn. And the invisible voices thing is just too fucking relatable. I’m so sorry Mafuyu

Oh god now I’m getting emotional about fictional boys who play guitar in front of my friends. Sorry guys.

Anyways. Main statement of the song time. “Everything you left behind, became my everything.” D a m n. Not only could he be talking about the guitar the he owns that is from Yuki he could also just be talking about the memories. ‘All the memories you left me, became the only thing that brought me comfort’ and that’s just... so sad man. He LOVED this boy. So much :/ It’s equally as sad with the guitar too. Because of how desperately he wanted to learn to play. For yuki’s sake because YUKI loved music. ‘This guitar you (kinda your mom but wtv lol) gave me, became my life” because it DOES become his life. When he finally accepts new love is after singing fuyu no hanashi. He finally lets go of all the pent up grievance and emotions while singing that song.

Now that point flows perfectly into our next one. It’s a possibility This will be the last one so just bear with me, please! So, one of Mafuyu’s main things is that he never knows how to respond or react the “proper” way. First of all!!!! NEURODIVERGENT KING. Second of all!!!! He talks about how he just doesn’t feel emotions as strongly or just the right way as other people. And how he can’t bring himself to cry and can’t cry despite losing his true love. After the kiss, mafuyu cries. A started clapping for him like yay!!! An icon ❤️ not only did he find a new love and move through some trauma but he also experienced a lot of emotions that he struggles to experience! That’s so good for him 💕💕But yeah he’d been talking about in the show how he just couldn’t “cry or laugh as hard as the other people could” which I can understand very well. It can feel dehumanizing at times so I’m really happy for him. One of the main reasons I kin him!

This brings me into a sort of continuation point about how no thought brain empty emotionless kin time. Sorry o just had to write that out Bc my nose started bleeding and I had to go take care of that and also not forget my clause (again). Mafuyu talks to Uenoyama about how everyone thinks that he doesn’t have emotions or doesn’t have thoughts because of how quiet he is and how emotionless he seems. And how he’s come to kind of believe it himself (a sort of ‘am I really thinking ever’ type beat). Ue kinda-over-aggressively is liek “hell no!!!! No way brain not have thought >:(“ like a old you know? And yes KIN TIME. not to make it about me or anything but I’m also constantly told/it’s joked about how I don’t have emotions. I just kinda roll with it tho.

I wanna say one more thing to end off on a note that isn’t about me but I can’t think of one so let me think. So much for that other one being the last shsndujsjjsidj

:OOOOO ok so I’m rewatching given and I just noticed another thing

So in the beginning, the VERY FIRST thing mafuyu talks about is how he keep shaving the same dream over and over again (this is to himself when he’s walking to school). Then, we see a clip of this dream. He is standing in front of someone (but it’s kinda shadowed so I didn’t see the other person the first time) and his eyes go wide and he grips his guitar so hard one of the strings snap.

Not only do I realize that 1) that dream actually happened: hs8 is a scene from when he fo7nd yuki’s body hanging (mafuyu was the one who found him dead). You can tell from the bottles on the ground (yuki got super drunk and then hung himself). this is why mafuyu’s guitar string is broken for Uenoyama to later fix.

I also realize 2) that this dream actually happened. I realized this when watching the show the first time tho lol. Right before the big concert, mafuyu accidentally breaks his guitar string again. And then Ue has to go run to the music store and buy a new one. That’s why there’s a look of desperation on his face when it happens because, Uenoyama brought his hope back by fixing the string the first time but now he messed it up again. Thank the lord for Haruki and reminding them it can be fixed!

Last thing 3) I talked about the hug scene in the last rant right? Well, when mafuyu broke the strings the first time (upon discovering yuki’s body), he mirrored the motions that he made in the hug scene in the opening. I think I described it as him shifting his body and guitar and like compressing himself? Yeah.

I realized one last minuscule thing while writing this but I doubt you care.

3 notes · View notes