#and again i am really sorry abt this but i have gotten so desperate

[dahyun]

i’m really sorry to post this, but i am struggling a lot right now and i could use some help. my job search has come to a standstill because i no longer have a reliable means of transportation. i have been using what little money i have left to help buy food for my family. i don’t know what i’m going to do once it’s all gone

any little amount will help immensely and if anyone can share this i would be extremely grateful!!!

(here is a pic of hazel as a token of apology lol)

[oliviaischillin1204]

tickletober day 18- "tickle fight"

word count: 4,509 words

welcome to day 18 my friends!! this is a recursive fic (meaning a fic based on another fic) so i've gone ahead and linked the original story under the cut- you def don't have to read the og fic before this one, although i do recommend it bc i love it to absolute death and it's soooo cute jdfgdhj. also please don't @ the author abt this fic, just be respectful please, thank youuuu!

Once upon a time a very silly thing happened, and now all of the Sides were friends again. If that seems like an oversimplification, well, Patton sometimes felt that way too.

Of course, nothing about that whole situation- Roman, Remus, Virgil, and Janus being turned into children, with Logan and Patton having to take on the role of parents as they desperately tried to make everything go back to normal- had felt simple in the slightest while it was actually happening. But now that it was all over, after so many confessions, secrets, and long-overdue apologies had been shared, it was honestly surprising how easily the six of them had gotten used to acting like a family.

For example, tonight they were all sitting together on their absolutely massive couch, which was just big enough for all six of them to sit side-by-side with only minor squeezing (which none of them really minded, hence why no one had suggested they get a bigger couch yet). Roman and Remus had worked together to create it-- it was kinda cute, how much they now tried to collaborate on even the most minor of creations.

A movie was on the TV, but honestly, none of them were paying attention to it. Roman and Virgil were holding hands and murmuring lowly to each other, giving each other soft, shy looks as if they were completely alone; Janus and Remus were attempting to throw popcorn into each others mouths, too busy laughing to even notice how loud they were being; and Patton and Logan, each sitting on opposite ends of the couch, were overlooking the entire soft scene with unbelievable fondness.

Every now and then they would catch each other's eyes over the heads of the children-- the other Sides! Not children!-- and smile, tired and fondly exasperated at the others' antics. It was funny how comfortable and familiar the new dynamics around the Mind Palace already were; with Logan by his side, and the others all getting along for the first time in a very long while, Patton felt like this was exactly how things were meant to be.

Suddenly there was a small noise of confusion right next to him. He turned to find Remus holding a popcorn kernel in his hand.

"Uh, ex-cuse me," he said, leaning forward and holding the kernel up threateningly. "Which one of you nerdy prince wannabes threw this at me?"

"Oh, I'm sorry," Roman replied in a haughty voice. "Did you find that distracting? Having someone throw something at your head while you're trying to enjoy a movie?"

Remus cackled. "I didn't throw a darn thing at you, brother mine. I would never." He finished his sentence with a sickly sweetness, batting his eyelashes.

"Oh, so it wasn't you? What about all of this?" Roman gestured to the blanket he and Virgil had been sharing, which was now covered in popcorn crumbs and kernels.

Remus shrugged, grabbing another handful and popping it in his mouth cheerfully. "Don't know what to tell you, Princey. Maybe Pop-Goes-The-Emo needs to learn how to eat without making a mess."

"Maybe you need to learn how to aim," Virgil shot back. "I don't see how you keep missing Janus' mouth, considering how big it is-"

"Excuse me?" Janus replied, jostling Virgil with his elbow. "Why am I getting dragged into this now? I did nothing wrong."

"You started it!"

"No, Remus started it."

"I knew it!"

"Oh, bite me, you-"

"That's enough, now," Logan interjected, just as Patton was opening his mouth to do the same. A moment of worry seemed to pass over the four Sides causing mischief, but luckily Logan softened his tone and his expression as he continued, "I suspect that this is all in good fun, but I would like to check if anyone is upset about anything that's been said. We can easily pause the film if anyone wants to discuss any crossed boundaries with the jokes."

Virgil wiggled a little on the couch. "Aw, come on, Logan..."

"Oh, I'm sorry, does talking about feelings embarrass you?" Logan replied, making Patton bite his lip to avoid snickering. "Because I think it's rather more important that everyone here feels loved and respected."

Janus scoffed and fiddled with his pajama set. "Of course, because we're so good at respecting one another."

"We do respect you," Patton replied, making Janus flush from the earnestness. "I know that after everything we've been through, we all respect each other, even if showing that respect is a work in progress. But the one thing that never changes is how much we love each other. I love you all so much!"

"Thank you, Patton," Roman droned; he too looked a little embarrassed, but his voice was good-natured. "And I apologize for anything I've said here that was uncouth. It was all intended in good fun."

"Same," Virgil said. "Sorry, Jan. About the thing I said about your mouth."

"Well, I suppose if I must accept your apology..." Janus replied. Logan fixed him with a stern look, and he huffed. "Yes, of course, you're forgiven, Virgil. And I'm sorry as well. Even though I literally don't think I did anything wrong."

"Sorry for being so silly! Can't help it!" Remus chirped. "Don't need any apologies, though. None of this actually pissed me off or anything."

"That's good," Logan replied. "Because you are definitely cleaning up your popcorn mess after the movie is over."

Remus gaped as the others burst into laughter. His lips turned into a dangerous pout, flopping back into the sofa and crossing his arms.

"Aw, come on, Remus," Patton chimed in. "I'll even help you do it! We'll get it all cleaned up in a jiffy!"

"Blah, blah, blah," he muttered, looking for all the world like a toddler put in time out.

It was all on instinct, really; Patton saw a grumpy child, and he knew what to do to fix it.

Before he could stop himself, Patton's hand made a claw shape and he vibrated his fingers directly into Remus' side.

The result was immediate, and extremely loud-- Remus shrieked, launching forward in an involuntary attempt to get away from Patton's squeezing hand. He tumbled forward and landed on the ground, scurrying backwards as he panted from the shock.

"Jesus fucking Christ and all his dick-ciples, Patton, why?" he asked, voice high and shrieky.

Patton was very aware of how all of the Sides were looking at them-- both in shock at Remus' outburst of laughter, and to see how Patton would react to his language-- but Patton didn't care. Something warm and familiar was rising in his chest, and he smiled lovingly down at Remus.

"What, you think I don't remember how to cheer you up?"

There was a beat, and then everyone else had a brief moment of fond embarrassment as they realized what Patton was talking about. They didn't talk about it much, about how Patton and Logan had taken care of them all when they had magically transformed into children, but it was never forgotten, even though the rest of the Sides (including Logan) still found the whole experience a bit awkward.

Patton turned to the others on the couch, his smile growing as they squirmed. "Come on, don't you all remember?"

He had only meant to keep teasing them, but at that moment Virgil's eyes widened to the size of quarters, and without further ado he shot up from the couch as well, jostling Janus at the same time and making the snake Side fall against Patton.

"No, I know that look, and I'm not doing this," Virgil insisted as he stepped to the other side of the room. But his eyes were bright, his cheeks were getting flushed, and there was a smile on his face that was obviously becoming harder to hide.

Patton bit his lip. "Oh, you don't wanna do this? That's alright-- what about you, Janny?"

And with that, Patton reached down and grabbed Janus as best as he could around the waist, curling him into the crook of his arm and mercilessly tickling his stomach with one hand.

"Wait wait wa-ait!" Janus gasped, hands shooting down in a desperate attempt to pry Patton's away from him. "Nnnno, Patton, this is ridiculoussss ahahahahaha! Nohohoho!"

"Aw, Janus remembers!" Patton cheered. A nervous giggle forced its way out of Remus' mouth, still on the floor as he watched his boyfriend getting tickled. Roman narrowed his eyes.

"Look what you've started," he accused, pointing a finger at his brother. "Patton's never gonna let go of this now!"

"Oh, piss off, Pissy!" Remus snapped back, a manic smirk on his face. "You started it, throwing popcorn at my head!"

"You're right," Roman said. "I should've thrown the bowl."

Remus gasped, affronted, and before he could stop himself he reached out to grab Roman's ankle with one hand, his other hand clawing down the sole of Roman's foot with reckless abandon.

Roman made a noise in between a gasp and a squawk. "No!"

He yanked his foot back, but miscalculated, and suddenly he felt rather than heard Logan's breath get knocked out of him as Roman's knee collided with the logical side's chest. Roman flushed a little; he didn't realize he'd been leaning so far into Logan's side.

"Sorry, Logan--!" His voice was cut off with a small squeak by Logan suddenly wrapping his hands around Roman's calf, holding his leg in place.

"Where are your manners, Roman?" he asked. His face looked normal, but his voice was laced with something that made Roman want to giggle just hearing it. "I believe you owe me an apology."

"I already di-ihihhid!" Poor Roman couldn't even finish his sentence before Logan started squeezing all over his trapped leg, from the back of his calf to just above his knee to the soft squishy parts of his thigh. Now both his and Janus' laughter filled the room, along with Remus' delighted giggles as he watched from the floor. Virgil was still standing in the corner, tugging on his hoodie sleeves and failing to hide his shy smile.

Remus narrowed his eyes at the emo Side. "You're just gonna hide out in the corner like a scaredy-cat, huh, Vee?"

"Fuck off," Virgil snapped back, but the effect was lost with how flustered he sounded. "You're not getting t- you're just sitting there, too!"

"I'm not just sitting here!" Remus shot back, scrambling to his feet and facing Virgil with a Cheshire smile. "I'm saving my boyfriend!"

With that, he lunged to Virgil, managing to grab the anxious Side even as he hissed and jerked away from Remus' grasp. Remus tightened his arms to hold Virgil against his chest, and dragged him over to Patton's side of the sofa.

"Special delivery!" he announced. "Care to swap a snake for a spider, Patty Cake?"

"Plehehehease!" Janus squealed, giggling like crazy

"Hm," Patton mused, smiling up at Virgil, "normally spiders scare me, but I think that one looks like a real cutie pie!"

"Patton- fuck off, Remus!" Virgil shrieked; Remus pushed him forward into Patton's lap, and as soon as Patton released Janus to catch Virgil, Remus was yanking Janus onto his feet and dragging him back across the room toward the safe spot. Still giggling, Janus gripped Remus' arm to stay upright as he caught his breath.

"Thank you, darling."

Remus preened and pressed a kiss to his cheek. "Anything for my boo!"

"Ja-nus!" Virgil said. "You traitor- ahahahahaha!" His words were lost as Patton began haphazardly squeezing his sides and stomach, his large hands moving too quickly for Virgil to block.

"Plehehehehease!" Roman squealed; he'd tried to crawl away from Logan, but it was hard with how the logical side was rapidly switching between pinching his thigh and his stomach. He pointed a wobbly finger at his twin. "Rehehehemus!"

"Sorry bro-bro, but I ain't coming anywhere near you right now," Remus replied. "Someone else is gonna have to save you!"

Roman shook his head, forcing his laughter down just long enough to yell, "Logan get Remus!"

Logan chuckled lowly. "Oh, interesting. You think it's Remus' turn?"

Roman nodded desperately. Logan cast his eyes up to Remus and Janus, holding hands with nervous, giddy smiles on their faces.

"Hmm..." Logan said. All of a sudden he released Roman and stood up from the couch in one fell swoop. He wasn't much taller than Remus or Janus, but the way he rolled his shoulders and stretched made them feel very small.

"Remus, come here," he said simply.

"No!"

Logan took one step forward. "Remus..."

"Fuck no!" Remus stepped backwards, dragging Janus along with him.

"Come here-" was all Logan could get out before the chase began. Remus darted around the couch, Janus giggling madly in his wake, and Logan followed with an uncharacteristic playfulness.

Roman, catching his breath, managed to point and laugh as Remus ran. "Your turn, Dukey!"

"Fuck off!" Remus shrieked. Suddenly his heels dug into the floor, yanking Janus to a stop; Logan had reversed direction, and was now coming towards them head on. The two of them screamed, both in fear and delight, and darted in the opposite direction.

"Come on, Professor!" Roman called like a sports spectator. "You can catch them! Go for Janus first!"

"Excuse me?" Janus gasped. He paused just long enough in his running to flick Roman's ear.

"Hey!"

"Haha, nice!" Remus crowed. "Good job, babe!"

"Be nice, Janus..." Logan called. He managed to get close enough a few times to trail his hand across Janus' back, making the snake Side yelp every time.

"Nope, I'm out!" he called, yanking his hand out of Remus' grasp. He immediately stepped to the side, out of Logan's reach; lucky for him, the logical Side seemed dead set on catching Remus now, and they continued to run and duck around the furniture.

"Woah!" Patton said when Remus accidentally jostled his legs as they ran by. "Careful, kiddos!"

"Pahahaton," Virgil groaned. His face was dark and there was an adorable dimple on his cheek that just made Patton wanna coo. "We're not-- not kids!"

For a moment, Patton slowed his squeezing tickles as he readjusted Virgil, nearly pulling the other Side on his lap.

"Wanna know a secret?"

Virgil looked up at him, confused, and squeaked as Patton leaned his head down.

"You're always gonna be my kiddos, Virgey," he whispered in Virgil's ear. Virgil's blush couldn't get any hotter, especially when Patton began snuffling all over Virgil's neck and ears.

"Nahahaha!" he whined, feet banging on the floor. "Hehehehelp!"

He leaned his head against the back of the sofa just in time to catch Janus' eye as he continued to move in wary circles around the room.

"Jan!" he squealed. "Plehehease!"

Janus looked at his brother's face and softened like a wet tissue.

"Patton, honestly," he said, moving forward to stand next to the couch, "I think this... mortifying experience has gone on long enough, don't you?"

Patton looked up at him as he continued to tickle Virgil's sides. "Nope!"

"Perhaps it's time we let this game come to a conclusion?"

Suddenly Roman was behind Janus. "Perhaps not." And with that, he pushed the snake side over the arm of the couch, making him fall face first directly into Patton's lap.

"That's for flicking my ear!"

Patton made a noise of delight that was barely audible with human hearing. "Oh, thank you for the gift, Roman!" He shifted in a way that implied years of practice until he was holding both Virgil and Janus on each of his legs. His arms wrapped around their midsections and began haphazardly tickling their tummies in unison.

One would think that Janus and Virgil were actually biological brothers, the way they both clutched Patton's arm and threw their heads back in laughter in the exact same way.

"Janny!" Remus cried, looking both delighted and affronted that his brother had pushed his boyfriend directly into Patton's tickle trap. His steps faltered, just for a moment, but that was all it took before Logan could grab him around the waist and drag him (not so gently) to the floor.

Logan smiled like a mad scientist who'd brought his creature back to life. "Got you."

"Wait wait wait wait fuck no--" was all he could get out before Logan dug into his stomach with rapidly vibrating claws. Remus screamed, feet drumming wildly on the floor as Logan tickled him to pieces.

"Fuck fuck fuck fuck fuhuhuhuck!"

"Language," Logan chastised lightly, like nothing out of the ordinary was happening at all. "Everyone else has had a turn, Remus. This is only fair."

"I don't need a tuhuhuhurn! This is-- hehehey!"

Remus couldn't even finish his protests before another pair of hands made their way to his sides. His eyes shot open only to see the smirky, snarky face of his twin hovering above him.

"Oh, we could never leave you out of the fun, dearest brother of mine," he sang, squishing randomly on any part of Remus' torso that he could reach. "I thought you liked playing silly games?"

"Go easy on him, Roman," Patton called out; he'd mostly stopped tickling Virgil and Janus, and was now merely holding the two of them as they got their stray giggles out. "Don't hurt him!"

"Oh please, he loves this," Roman replied. Remus screeched in indignation.

"Bullpoopy!"

Roman raised an unimpressed eyebrow. He shot his hand underneath Remus' jaw to scratch his nails along his neck, and Remus squealed, head scrunching into his neck like a desperate turtle.

Logan let out a small laugh himself, slowing down his tickling as everyone watched Remus fall into the most helpless giggles any of them had ever heard.

"Oh, goodness," Patton whispered, clearly delighted. Virgil was outright snickering at his friend's demise, and Janus' was watching on with a hopelessly romantic expression on his face.

"This is what you get for starting it all!" Roman declared, every inch of him clearly full of mirth. Logan peered down at Remus' bright red face, and brushed a bit of hair back from his sweaty forehead.

"Is that a very ticklish spot, Remus?" he asked. "Don't be afraid to tell me. I'll merely keep a note of it for later."

Remus shook his head. "I-- I--"

Immediately, Logan and Patton made eye contact. Remus sounded more wheezy than he had a moment before.

Their mouths opened at the same time, but to their surprise Roman had already pulled his hands away, a worried twinge in his eyes as he watch Remus calm down.

"Are you okay?" he asked immediately. "Did I go to far?"

Remus coughed once, causing Virgil and Janus to look even closer with matching nervous frowns to see if he was okay.

"I..." Remus said slowly. "I'm..."

Silence, for a beat.

And then Remus attacked: sitting up, pushing Logan away, and body slamming Roman until he was flat on the ground, all in one swift move.

"I'm gonna get you, Ro-Bro," he hissed, and there was nothing but giddy joy in his voice as he began tickling his brother right back.

Everyone in the group jumped as Roman screamed, loud, at the surprise tickle attack. There was a scrabble of limbs as the twins wrestled, shouts of laughter filling the room and making everyone giggly again.

"Play nice, boys!" Patton called out. Remus looked up, his tongue poking out of the corner of his cheeky smile.

"Yes, Daddy!" he replied. The he immediately dove down and blue a raspberry against Roman's tummy. The other side shrieked yet again.

"That's not nihihihice!"

Remus cackled evilly, and Patton considered stepping in himself to give that stinker a taste of his own medicine, but before he could move someone else beat him to it: Virgil, who wiggled off Patton's lap and onto the floor, crawled over to the two wrestling Sides, and attacked Remus' ribs with a flurry of fingers.

The snort that Remus released cracked through the room, and now he was the one laying on the floor, writhing helplessly as Virgil attacked him.

"I got you, Princey," he called over the fray, smirking at his boyfriend as Roman caught his breath. "Now hurry up and help me finish him."

Roman grinned brightly. "With extreme pleasure."

He dove in as well, and between the two of them Remus was well and truly screwed, batting at the four hands that were now wrecking him from every side. He tried to give back what he was getting, but it was just too easy to overpower him.

Logan's chuckles were low, but Patton could hear them despite the noise in the room. The two locked eyes and shared a secret smile before Logan's eyes drifted over to Janus, still half-sitting on Patton's lap.

"What about you?" he called. "Don't you want to help Remus?"

"He got himself in that mess," Janus said, cheeks flushing again as he looked at the tickle fight in the middle of the room, "and I'll have nothing to do with it."

Like a horror movie jumpscare, Remus shoved his upper body towards the couch, making both Janus and Patton squeak with surprise.

"Yes you will!" he said between giggles, and before anyone else could react he grabbed Janus haphazardly and yanked him backwards, making them both tumble back onto the floor-- and into the middle of Roman and Virgil's tickle attack.

"Human shield!" Remus screamed. He locked his hands behind Janus' back, keeping his boyfriend trapped on top of him.

"Wait-- no! No, no, Remus, nohohohoho!"

But it was too late: Roman and Virgil took no time at all diving in to tickle Janus all over his back and sides as he shrieked and squealed and squirmed.

"Evil!" Janus shrieked, trying desperately to push off of Remus' chest. "No-- no kisses until you letmegohohoho!"

Virgil cooed, leaning closer to Janus' ear. "Aw, you don't wanna kiss your boyfriend? Sucks for you, Jan." He finished the statement with leaning over to press a kiss to Roman's cheek, causing their respective brothers to make noises of disgust.

"You're dissssssssssgusting!" Janus gasped through his laughter. He gathered his strength and shoved Roman away from his little brother, drilling his fingers into Roman's ribs as the other side fell back on his haunches.

"Nah-- ahaha-- no!" Roman gasped. He keeled forward, grinning and giggling against Remus' stomach. Virgil tried to reach forward to push Janus' hand off of Roman, only for Remus to easily grab the anxious side's wrist and hold his arm out for Janus' other hand to dive under with wiggling fingers.

Around and around and around it went-- hands and fingers and curses and teases and giggles flew. Roman blew breathless raspberries against Remus' tummy while Janus fought to keep his fingers vibrating wildly under Virgil's arm. In turn Virgil dove down to scrabble his nail's blindly against Janus' back, while Remus did the same on either side of Roman's neck. The peals of laughter rose and melded into one loud happy harmony, and it wasn't long before the four of them were breathless with giggles, tickling without even seeing who they were attacking.

It was messy, chaotic, and perfect. Just like their family.

Patton wasn't sure when things had started to slow down. All he knew was that there was a sudden drop in the volume of the twins laughter-- it seems they had finally tired themselves out, and were now panting heavily from their disheveled positions on the living room floor. Virgil's giggles still rang through the air, albeit less desperate and more happy than anything else, until Janus relented with one final squeeze to his brother's belly before he, too, flopped back to the floor.

There they lay, those four Sides, curled like pretzels in a giant puppy pile, catching their breath and letting their last few giggles peter out. Patton took the time to examine the room: furniture shoved out of place in the mad scrambles to escape the tickles, the couch cushions were pulled out and squashed against the floor, and there was popcorn everywhere. He made eyes with Logan, expecting to see that familiar chagrin he knew so well, but was instead greeted with a look of nose-wrinkled affection.

"Blankets?" he mouthed, and Patton grinned. He reached over and grabbed one of the blankets they'd been using on the couch, and without warning threw it over the four Sides on the floor.

"Ah!" Virgil yelped first; he was the only one who saw it coming, but that half-second warning wasn't enough to save him or the others from getting absolutely draped in the oversized blanket. "D-- Patton!"

"Hm?" Patton said, grabbing the other two blankets and flinging them on the pile with ease. "Can't hear you!"

Someone was giggling again from inside the pile, probably Remus. Janus emerged first, his hair adorably mussed.

"Patton. Why."

"You looked so comfy! I wanted to help!"

"You could've helped us off of the floor."

"Aw, but you looked so cute down there." Patton giggled, lightly kicking at Janus' shoulder, causing him to hiss with displeasure.

Logan gave a light laugh. "You all did just play a very strenuous game." He reached out and patted a random ankle that was sticking out of the pile; it jerked back in over-sensitive self defense, Roman's gasp of laughter giving away its identity.

"Remus started it," came his muffled response. Remus blew a raspberry, worming his way out from underneath the covers.

"Oh, please, I didn't do shit! It was Pattycake!"

"Yes, it was!" Patton said proudly. "And I'd do it again!" Without warning he slid himself onto the floor and grabbed Remus around the waist, holding the squawking Side in a tight hug.

"My little kiddos," he cooed, and yes he knew he was laying it on thick but that was part of the fun. "Having so much fun together! It makes Logan and I so happy when you all play so nicely, I'm very proud of you--"

"Fine okay enough!" Janus shrieked; Virgil was reduced to desperate hissing as Roman buried his face in his hands. Remus pretended to gag, but Patton could feel how tightly he was returning the hug.

"Alright," Logan said warmly, silencing the group. "Let's regroup. Roman, Janus, will you fix the pillows and blankets, please? Virgil and Remus, go get some more snacks-- preferably ones that won't make a mess when thrown."

Patton watched as the other Sides, with good-natured grumbling, began working together to get their movie night back on track. It made something heavy in his chest get a little bit lighter.

He started when he realized Logan had joined him back on the couch, this time sitting right next to him. The two locked eyes, unable and unwilling to stop the soft smiles growing on their faces. Logan fumbled for Patton's hand, and he turned it over so they could lock their fingers together.

It was just another silly day in the Mind Palace. And there were so many more to come.

[xo-valxntine]

Amethyst Eyes III (T. Inumaki)

part one | part two | part three | bonus

pairing: toge inumaki x gn!reader

synopsis: after not seeing or speaking to toge in months, you’re shocked when you hear him speaking and fighting a strange monster inside your clinic. you were hoping to see him again, but you could never have imagined it’d end up like this

tws: slight angst, fluff, brief mention of blood, brief mention of gangs (don’t think i’m missing anything but let me know if i am?) wc: ~4,700

a/n: last part :(( i love toge and y/n so much they make me so happy <3 thinking abt doing a cute lil bonus scene we’ll see. i hope you enjoy! ੈ✩‧₊˚

“Toge?” You’re not entirely sure if your voice comes out. The weight on your shoulders feels heavier, and you feel your chest start to tighten. You start to hyperventilate. Were you having a panic attack? You could feel your heart trying to beat out of your chest. You’re looking at Toge with desperation in your eyes as your heave, but he’s not looking at you. He’s looking right past you. Toge pulls the zipper of his uniform down and reveals those familiar tattoos surrounding his lips.

“Don’t move.”

You were still struggling to breathe when the weight around you felt even heavier. You were grateful you were sitting down because you knew if you were standing that you would’ve collapsed.

“Die.”

Suddenly the weight around you disappeared. The tight feeling around your chest was gone, and you felt your breathing become more regulated. You watched Toge with wide eyes as he started to cough up blood. You wanted to rush over to his side, but you couldn’t move. You were frozen in shock. You watched as Toge reached for something in his pocket and pull out a bottle. He quickly snaps open the lid and chugs it down in one gulp. When he’s done, he turns his attention back to you with worry in his eyes.

“Mustard leaf?” You furrowed your brows, looking at him. There was a sudden realization on his face, and then he frowned. Suddenly the woman with green hair and glasses appeared next to him, and she was staring at you.

“That blindfolded idiot said there wasn’t going to be anyone here. Well, don’t just stand there, we gotta do something.” The woman says. Toge doesn’t move from his position. He just stands there, staring at you. You stare right back at him. She looks from Toge to you and then back again.

“Do you two know each other or something?”

That seems to snap Toge out of whatever daze he’s in, and he quickly rushes to your side. He goes to reach for you, but you flinch away. Toge retracts, and you can see the pain in his eyes.

“I’m sorry, Toge.” Your voice is barely above a whisper.

Toge’s eyes soften at the sound of you saying his name. He’s eyeing you carefully, almost trying to see how he should proceed.

“I’m really sorry.”

You were apologizing for all the texts you didn’t reply to and for the way it probably hurt him. You thought you had finally gotten rid of your feelings for Toge, but seeing him brought it all back. Everything you had pushed down came back up to the surface. The truth was you had been pretending. Pretending that you didn’t want to text him back, pretending that you didn’t miss his texts when they stopped and pretending that you didn’t want to see him again. The truth was you cared about Toge, so much so that it hurt a little.

You hadn’t realized you were crying until Toge brushed a tear away from your cheek. You look at him with tearful eyes and see him looking at you with a worried expression. There’s something in his look that makes your heart soften. The tension in your body fades. The last thing you remember is relaxing into his touch.

You awake groggily the next morning, with a fog looming over your mind. You blink slowly, trying to clear the fog and wipe the sleep from your eyes. The events from the following night come flooding back to you, and you feel panic rising in your body. What the hell had happened? What was that thing? And Toge had been there, and he spoke. The words slip back into your mind.

“Don’t move”.

“Explode”.

And then when he had said to you “Don’t move” and “Die”. The way the heavy feeling of your shoulders and your chest tightening disappeared after he said, “Die”. You move your arms and twist side to side slightly, testing the movements. It was gone. What had Toge done to you?

Toge. You cringe at the memory of you curled up and apologizing. Your mind flashed back to the way you recoiled from him and how hurt he looked. You pull your comforter over your head, pretending it can hide you away from the embarrassment. And then you had gone and passed out after the fact. That’s when you come to the full realization that you’re in your bed. You become embarrassed when you realize it was most likely Toge that had brought you back. You throw your comforter off of yourself, and your eyes quickly dart around the room, trying to see if you had anything embarrassing left out. Luckily, nothing was out of place. You let out a sigh of relief and collapse back onto your pillows.

You don’t remember falling back asleep, but somehow you had. Your body definitely needed the rest. You reach for where your phone is usually on your nightstand only for it not to be there. You rake through your mind trying to remember what you had done with it. You were scrolling on it last night at the clinic and—

Oh.

You had set it down on the couch before you went to look out the window. You’re reminded of the woman fighting that strange creature, the way you retreated to the back of your clinic, and the sound of glass shattering. Your clinic was probably still trashed from last night. You hadn’t seen all the damage, on account of being passed out, but you were absolutely sure you wouldn’t be able to go back to work today. And as for your phone, it was most likely lost in the other wreckage of your clinic. You flop back onto your pillow and contemplate what you should do.

It would probably be smart to go to your clinic and assess the damage that had been done. You would most likely need to find a contractor in the city to repair the damages. And if you didn’t show up, people would probably show up at your house to tell you about your clinic. It was surprising that no one had already shown up to your house to tell you. After a minute of laying in bed, you finally decided to get up and get ready.

When you arrive at your clinic, it’s just as you thought it’d be. The windows were completely blasted in, and some parts of the wall had crumbled. There were several people standing outside your clinic staring at the wreckage. You stood for a moment, taking it all in. It was a disaster. It’d most likely be a while before you could start seeing patients again. A few people approach you asking you what happened, but you simply say you don’t know and leave it at that. Your eyes are flipping between the people talking to you and the mess that is your clinic when the woman with the green hair and glasses catches your attention. She was standing casually at the corner of the street by your clinic. She motions you over to her. You’re hesitant for a moment, but then excuse yourself from the group and make your way over to her.

“It’s Y/N, right?” It’s more of a statement than a question. “I’m Maki.”

You stand there awkwardly, unsure of how to respond. Maki eyes you carefully and then proceeds to talk.

“We’ve got a lot to talk about. Is there somewhere private we can talk?” She asks.

“Uh, my house, I guess? There’s not really anywhere to go here.” You say, finally finding your voice.

“Great. Lead the way.”

-

The teacup was warming your cold hands. You had decided to make Maki and yourself some tea once you arrived back at your house. The two of you were sitting across from each other at your dining table, both sitting silently. You take a sip of your tea before clearing your throat and deciding to break the silence.

“How did I get home last night?” You thought it was the easiest way to start whatever this conversation was going to be.

“Toge brought you back. I think he found it on your driver's license or something.” Maki replies easily. You let out a small “oh,” and then it falls silent again. You’re not sure how long it’s quiet before Maki cuts through the silence with a sigh.

“Listen here, kid. What I’m about to tell you is a secret. You can’t go around blabbing about this to anybody, understand?” She says in a stern voice. You nod in response, but you can’t help the question that comes flying out of your mouth.

“Are you one of Toge’s gang friends?” Maki’s eyes widen, and then she’s instantly roaring in laughter.

“Toge? In a gang? Absolutely not.” Maki says, recovering from her laughing fit.

“Anyway,” Maki says seriously, “I’m going to get straight to the point. We’re not in a gang. We’re jujutsu sorcerers.”

You knit your eyebrows together and stare at her.

“What the hell is that supposed to mean?”

“Jujutsu sorcerers exorcise cursed spirits or curses for short. Curses are malicious spirits that manifest from human’s negative emotions. For the most part, curses are invisible to regular humans. Hell, even I need a little help seeing them.” Maki says, tapping her glasses. “But curses are a large part of the unexplained deaths and disappearances humans experience. There aren’t many jujutsu sorcerers that are properly trained to exorcise curses, but Toge and I went to Jujutsu High, where we trained to exorcise curses. We were out last night trying to exorcise that curse when we stumbled into your clinic—sorry about that, by the way. We were told there wouldn’t be anyone in the general vicinity, but that was wrong. We heard you in the back, and that’s when Toge ran off. He saw you there with a curse wrapped around you, and I think it freaked him out for some reason. He exorcised the curse from you, and I don’t think you need me to explain the rest.”

You sit quietly, trying to take in everything Maki is saying. Curses? That was ridiculous. You were a doctor, and you believed in science. There was no such thing as magic and curses, but if that was the case, then what about last night? You could tell yourself that it was a dream, a nightmare, but that wouldn’t explain Maki sitting across from you. Maybe you could go on about your life and just pretend none of this ever happened, but what about Toge? You had grown so fond of him, and you had finally seen him after so long. Maybe now that you finally knew the truth, the two of you could work something more serious out.

“So Toge’s a sorcerer?” You ask. Maki nods.

“He’s a descendant of the Inumaki clan, and he inherited their cursed speech technique. It enhances words with cursed energy. Basically, if Toge tells someone to do something, they’ll do it. But it does take a toll on him. If he’s not careful, he could hurt someone or hurt himself.”

You sit, taking in all this information.

“Don’t move”

“Explode”

“Die”

Your mind flashes back to Toge coughing up blood, and you wince. You could only imagine how painful that was for him.

“To keep from hurting anyone, he speaks in rice ball ingredients. It’s like his own little language.”

“Can you speak?”

“Salmon.”

“Salmon?”

“Mustard leaf?”

Your mind retraces the memories. He spoke in rice ball ingredients to protect others. You gut feeling that the first night had been right. Toge was a protector, and he deeply cared about others. A warm feeling stirs inside of you, but you quickly push it away.

“Was Toge, uh, what is it? Exorcising curses?” Maki nods, and you continue, “Was he doing that here a couple of months ago?”

“Probably, why?”

Your mind flashes back to when you found Toge collapsed on your floor.

“He showed up at my clinic, bleeding out on my floor. I tried to get him to go to a hospital, but he wouldn’t.” Maki scoffs and rolls her eyes.

“That damned idiot. Is that how you two know each other?” Maki asks, and you become embarrassed, but nod.

“Yeah, then he came back a few days later and passed out on my floor.”

Maki scowls.

“So that’s where he was? I swear, I’m going to kill him when I see him.”

“Does Toge know you came to tell me?” You ask, ignoring Maki’s threat.

“You two really on a first-name basis after only meeting twice?” Maki asks, not bothering to answer your question. You become nervous and fidget with the handle on your teacup.

“We were texting for a few months after that.” You say, not bothering to go into details.

“So that’s what he’s been hiding. Also, no. Toge doesn’t know I’m here.” Maki says, starting to stand. “And with that said, I should probably be on my way.”

You nod in response and lead Maki to the door.

“Thanks for stopping by to tell me.” You say, leaning against the doorframe.

“Now remember, what I said. Don’t go blabbing to anyone about this.” Maki warns carefully. You throw your arms up in protest and without saying anything else, Maki is on her way.

After Maki left, you went into the closet city and brought a new cellphone. Luckily, you had saved everything to the cloud, so setting it up was easy. The first thing you did when everything was ready was text Toge. When you opened the chat, you saw the string of one-sided texts and felt something sad tug on your heart. Your fingers hover over the phone, hesitating before quickly typing your message and sending it.

hi toge

It had been three and a half weeks since you’d sent that text to Toge. You’d been texting him every day, hoping to hear from him, but he hadn’t responded to any of them. You so desperately wanted to talk to him. To tell him how sorry you were and tell him you understood why he couldn’t come to see you before. There were so many things you wanted to tell him, but you needed him to respond in order to do that.

You arranged the repairs for your clinic the day after you spoke to Maki. You had to hire a repair company from the city, as you thought, but in the end, it had been worth it, because they managed to repair your clinic in about a week. You were expecting it to take about a month, but they worked quickly and you were back to seeing patients as if nothing had ever happened.

It was the middle of the day and you had seen one patient, but for the most part, your day had been slow. You were updating a few patient charts before taking your lunch break. As you’re typing and clicking away on your computer, you hear your phone buzz. You practically lunge for the phone when you hear it.

rice ball enthusiast ♡

Can we talk?

Your fingers are typing before you can fully process the message.

yes

His reply comes back almost as fast as yours.

rice ball enthusiast ♡

I’ll stop by later.

The rest of the day, you were nervously waiting for Toge. You tried your best to keep busy, filling patient documents, restocking your cabinets, sorting out the last of the bills for the repair company, anything to keep your mind distracted, but it was hopeless. Your mind kept thinking about Toge. You still had no idea what you were going to say to him. You’d have to explain to him why you hadn’t ever responded to his texts and why you had suddenly become so distant. What if you told him and he didn’t forgive you? What if he was coming to tell you he never wanted to see you again? Your heart sank at the possibility. Now that you knew, now that you understood, you wanted nothing more than to be with Toge. To explain to him how you really felt. Oh, god, what if he didn’t feel the same way? You’re snapped back into reality when you hear the door open. You quickly make your way to the front of the clinic.

You’re taken aback by his appearance when you see him. Gone was his strange uniform from before; instead he wore tan flannel with a white graphic tee underneath and brown sweatpants. Since he wasn’t wearing his uniform, he didn’t have the jacket that covered the lower half of his face; instead, he wore a mask. You wouldn’t have recognized him if it wasn’t for his blonde hair and those eyes that you had become so fond of. They were watching you as you took in his appearance.

“Nice to see you not bleeding out for once.” You say, looking him up and down. Toge looks at you and then laughs. You feel your heart begin to beat a little faster. Toge pulls out his phone and typed something quickly. Your phone buzzes, and you quickly look at it.

rice ball enthusiast ♡

Nice to see you too

You smile and look back at him. You could tell that he was smiling underneath his mask. The two of you stand there and stare at each other. You let out a small breath before speaking.

“I’m sorry.” You apologize, finally breaking the silence. “I was never mad about you not coming to see me, well, maybe I was a little upset, but so many things happened, and-“ You stop yourself. You hadn’t said it out loud in so long. You take a deep breath before continuing.

“That next day, I found out Misuzu passed, and I had to deal with that. By the time I had dealt with all of that, I felt like I couldn’t respond, I know, silly, but that’s what happened. And then next thing I know, you’re stumbling, well, crashing into my clinic, and yeah.” You finish rambling.

You weren’t exactly sure when he made his way over to you, but suddenly Toge wrapped his arms around you, enveloping you in a hug. You’re shocked at first, but soon feel yourself relaxing into him. There was something familiar about being in his arms. Toge rubbed soothing circles on your back. You found comfort in Toge’s arms that you hadn’t felt in a long time.

After a moment, you and Toge finally pull away from each other. Toge pulls his phone back out and quickly types something.

rice ball enthusiast ♡

I’m sorry about your loss. I know how much she meant to you.

“It’s okay. I feel better about it now.” You say, honestly. “What did you want to talk about? Oh, did you want to sit down?”

You begin moving over to the couch, and Toge follows you. When the two of you sit down, you’re acutely aware of the way your knee and his knee are touching. You watch as Toge types away on his phone.

rice ball enthusiast ♡

I’ve got something to tell you. Ready for my big secret? :p

You roll your eyes when you see the emoticon, but nod. Toge’s fingers dance quickly across his phone, and about a minute later, a text pops onto your screen.

rice ball enthusiast ♡

Basically, I’m a jujutsu sorcerer. I exorcise things called curses that develop as a result of human’s negative emotions. The first two times I stumbled into your clinic, I was nearby exorcising some, and they kind of got the best of me. The way I exorcise curses is through a technique called cursed speech, those are what the markings on my cheeks and tongue are. It takes a large toll on my body when I overuse it, hence the coughing up of blood. I have to be careful when I speak, and that’s why I use rice ball ingredients.

Toge pulls off his mask and gestures to the markings on his face before turning his attention back to his phone. Another text comes to your phone right after the last one.

rice ball enthusiast ♡

That night a few weeks ago Maki (the girl with me) and I were exorcising a curse and we stumbled into here by accident. I didn’t recognize the place at first, but when Maki talked about hearing someone, I realized where I was. I rushed around looking for you, and then I found you curled up on the floor. There was a curse attached to you.

You watched Toge’s fingers hover over the screen, and he lets out a shaky breath before typing again.

rice ball enthusiast ♡

You looked so scared, and it broke something inside me. I exorcised it, that was what happened when I spoke. I wasn’t thinking when I spoke after, I was so worried about you, and I slipped up by saying mustard leaf. You looked so confused when I said it, and I was devastated. I wanted to ask if you were okay and tell you it was going to be okay, but I couldn’t because of my cursed speech. And then, when you were apologizing, I wanted to tell you that it was okay. That you didn’t have anything to be sorry for, but I couldn’t. Then, you passed out, and I took you home.

You're looking at Toge, trying to find his eyes, but they’re focused on his screen.

rice ball enthusiast ♡

I was so upset. I didn’t know what to do. I kept blaming myself for that curse attaching itself to you. I was upset because I couldn’t talk to you, and I didn’t know what to say to you. I got your texts, but I didn’t know how to respond. I couldn’t bring myself to text you until today, and that’s when I decided to tell you all this. I’m sorry.

Your eyes finish reading over the text and then move over to Toge. He wasn’t looking at you. His gaze was still locked on his phone despite it being locked. His hands were shaking slightly.

“Toge.” You say, quietly. He still doesn’t move his eyes away from his phone.

“Toge.” You say again, this time more firmly.

This time he looks at you, and you notice his eyes feeling with tears. You feel part of your heart breaking. Before you even realize you’re moving, you’re wrapping your arms around him. You hold him as tightly as you can. You can hear Toge as he cries quietly.

“It’s okay. I’m okay.” You reassure him, quietly.

You hold him for a while before he pulls away. Toge uses his sleeve to wipe away his tears. The two of you watch each other quietly. Toge’s eyes linger on you for a moment before he reaches for his phone, and types something. Your phone buzzes on the couch, and you reach to grab it.

rice ball enthusiast ♡

I think I was expecting you to have a different reaction

“What’s that supposed to mean?” You ask, eyeing him.

rice ball enthusiast

I expected more freaking out.

ヽ(°〇°)ﾉ ←- You

You roll your eyes, but can’t help the smile that appears on your face.

“I don’t freak out that much.”

rice ball enthusiast ♡

Yeah you do. Remember that story you told me about your first time in the ER? I was expecting that level of freaking out. Hearing about curses for the first time can be pretty shocking.

“I knew I should’ve never told you that story. Plus, it wasn’t my first time hearing about them. Maki told me before.” You say. Toge’s eyes widen, and so do yours at what you had let slip.

rice ball enthusiast ♡

When did you and Maki talk about curses?

Uh-oh. Busted.

“Uh, never? I don’t know what you’re talking about.” You lie. Toge raises an eyebrow at you. “Okay, okay, fine. The day after you two exorcised that curse, she was waiting for me outside of the clinic. She came to my house, and that’s when she told me about curses and your cursed speech.”

rice ball enthusiast ♡

I wanted to be the first one to tell you!! :(:(:(:((((

You giggle at the message.

“Sorry, she beat you to it.”

Toge knits his eyebrows together in frustration, and you knit yours together to match his facial expression.

“Look, I’m Toge, and I’m mad Maki told my secret.” You say, teasing him.

Toge only furrows his brows deeper, and you laugh more. Soon after, Toge joins, and you feel your heart flutter again. After you finish laughing, you clear your throat and look at Toge. He’s looking right back at you, and you feel yourself become nervous.

“Toge, I have a confession.” You say, quietly. Toge raises an eyebrow at you. You clear your throat. “I like you.”

Toge looks at you for a second before typing something on his phone. You glance down and see a message on your phone.

rice ball enthusiast ♡

For a second there, I thought you were going to confess to being in a gang and that you’ve been projecting this whole time.

You shove Toge playfully and roll your eyes.

“You’re really annoying, you know that?” You say only half-asking.

rice ball enthusiast ♡

Yeah, but apparently you like it ;)

You become embarrassed and go to shove him again, but this time he grabs your wrist and pulls you into him. He’s looking at you carefully, with those amethyst eyes you’ve grown so fond of. The two of you were dangerously close together. Your eyes wander from Toge’s down to his lips and the markings surrounding them. You subconsciously lick your lips, and your eyes find his again.You open your mouth to speak, but before any sound comes out, Toge has his lips pressed against yours.

It was soft and delicate, almost as if he were to press too hard, you’d shatter. Toge’s lips were softer than you imagined and you could feel your body relax into his instantly. It was almost as if the room around you had disappeared. Your lips moved in sync with his, and your fingers ended up tangled in his silky hair. You could feel Toge smile against your lips, and you couldn’t help but do the same.

The two of you were completely consumed with each other. Toge’s tongue swiped against your lips carefully, and you could taste something tangy, but sweet on his tongue. Toge was kissing you with passion like you’d never felt before. Everything he wanted to say, everything he couldn’t say, he put into the kiss. You didn’t want to pull away. You wanted to give him every part of you, but eventually, he pulled away and rested his forehead against yours, breathing heavily.

The two of you stayed there for a minute, enjoying each other's company before Toge pulls away and taps his phone. Your phone buzzes and you go to read his message.

rice ball enthusiast

(Attachment: 1 Image)

You roll your eyes at the image of the cat with photoshopped blush on its cheeks, hearts surrounding it, and “i like you” typed across the top.

“And just why do you have an image like that on hand?” You ask him, raising an eyebrow. Toge quickly types something.

rice ball enthusiast ♡

I’ve been waiting for the right time to use it.

“You were planning on using a reaction pic to tell me you liked me?” You question him. Toge gives an innocent smile and shrugs. “You’re ridiculous.”

rice ball enthusiast ♡

So what now?

You sit for a minute, thinking about it. And then you practically jump up with excitement.

“Let’s go to my house!” You exclaim excitedly. Toge’s eyes widen with surprise, and he quickly types away on his phone.

rice ball enthusiast ♡

And do what exactly?

“Make rice balls, duh. What else would we do?” You ask confusedly. Toge smiles at you and shakes his head.

You stand from the couch, ready to leave, but Toge is still sitting.

“Well, do you want to know the secret that makes them amazing or not?”

[smokestarrules]

hi! i wanted to ask u a question abt gwitch if that’s okay. during That episode 17, before miorine does the cruel/idiotic betrayal breakup she tells guel that she’s the same as him and also doesn’t want to lose her precious things. obviously she meant suletta but i was always confused, bc she’s still going thru with the backstabbing and pushing her away so she IS losing her precious thing unlike guel who with this deal is preserving his precious thing which is jeturk company by partnering w her. so they’re not the same in that sense OR did she mean 2 other ways: that she doesn’t want to lose the precious suletta she knows and loves to prospera’s manipulations that’ll turn her into a murderer, or that she means it like suletta will surely die on this path if it continues and she doesn’t want to lose her literally.

sorry this got long but i’m v curious how u interpreted that, like she said that and then goes and gives up her precious thing- unless it was the latter reasons i mentioned. also i’m realizing now it sounds like i hate miorine, i don’t, i get what she did and im nuetral/like her character but i never got the catharsis and resolution from that act bc of the rushed ending, and now i have this unresolved frustration and anger towards her that pops up sometimes when i think abt the 2nd cour.

i rly rly wish they’d gotten to talk abt this more during their reunion than just the one line “pulling u away from ur mom, it was all a mistake” like i desperately needed the words im sorry. i KNOW she probably said it offscreen but maaaan, i know u like this trope but break your heart to save them gets under my skin so badly i just want to shake the character!

this got long again i’m so sorry for the rambling, like i said i’ve got baggage from ep17 that imo didn’t pay off well enough to justify doing that. i still ship sulemio tho and am so happy they’re married, it just breaks my heart that we didn’t get more episodes to unpack that miorine acted exactly like her father. have a good day! thanks for reading all this if u did

To me it was both of the reasons you yourself mentioned: Miorine weighed her options, and ultimately decided that Suletta would be worse off if she didn't cut ties with her in the worst possible way. As a result, Suletta would be taken out of the most dangerous areas (re: Prospera also giving her up, as was the deal) and she wouldn't be further corrupted by Prospera either.

There just really wasn't any good decision to make. I love that episode because I think it's incredibly good character development for Miorine to be able to make that choice; she's always been somewhat of a selfish character and that's been shown alongside her protection of Suletta, so obviously this is a huge decision for her no matter what.

I would have also loved to see an apology, but unfortunately it's pretty clear that the tail end of the show was pretty rushed and while the scene we did get of their reunion was done incredibly well, there's a few things that they simply ran out of time for. In the end, I think I would have loved a true season 2 where they could flesh everything out more slowly and thoroughly, but I am happy with what we were ultimately given. You are absolutely valid to have some misgivings about how it all went down.

[aceofspades-sml]

How does it feel to have lived my dream of seeing Lindsay as Katherine-

Can I ask for details abt her performance? What was her Katherine like, how was she different from Bronte or Bobbie? :0

Hi ! Sorry this took me so long to answer, I just had two big days and needed to organize my notes about the show

And so, Lindsay Katherine. I wasn't expecting to enjoy her as much as I did but she was truly incredible. She was also very different from both other Katherines (I am mostly familiar with Bronté's Kath so will mostly talk about how Lindsay's is different from her but from what I know about Bobbie I can just tell you they are not the same at all)

Even physically speaking she is established as different from the others, her dress isn't cut the same way and is a very dark blue with white stripes and she has lighter curly hair (I used to have doubts about curly haired Kath but oh my god she was perfect). In my opinion she looks a bit older as well, both physically and in her behaviour.

One of the differences that struck me the most, because I remember it already struck me with Bronté, was that while Bonté's cast is openly extremely sarcastic, always mocking and mimicking other people, especially in act 1, Lindsay Kath was very sarcastic as well but in a really deadpan way, both in her voice and her facial expressions. Her delivery of lines such as "Cheeky boy gets nothing for is trouble" and especially "What was the last strike you organized ?" really showed that, she just looked Jack dead in the eyes and delivered. In the same way, I think she made way less large and expressive gestures than Bronté's Kath, which was mostly obvious in Watch what happens- she moves less and everything is in her voice (said voice is absolutely amazing btw)

Maybe that's due to this but she also seemed extremely serious, though not in a strict way- my friend and I tried for hours to put words on that and failed so bear with me here, she was extremely invested in her job as a reporter while also genuinely caring about the newsies and their strike

All in one this Katherine seemed to express her emotions way less than Bronté's... until act 2. In Pulitzer's office she seemed to be desperately trying to justify herself, and despite not talking her face was clearly begging for Jack to believe her, to know that she never intended for things to go this way or to cause the newsies any harm and she just looked so sad-

And the scene on the rooftop before Something to believe in was absolutely heartbreaking as well because I had gotten used to that serious and deadpan Kath and here she just broke down, she was incredibly emotional and her voice broke at multiple moments when she was talking to Jack. Which was also the case with any other Katherine but it was particularly strking with Lindsay. The song itself was then really sweet and soft because she had let her walls down and her relationship with Michael's Jack was played really well in my opinion, once again really different from that of Bronté or Bobbie but absolutely perfect and very cute regarding her personality ! (I would love to see her with the other Jacks tho because I am really curious what her relationship with them would look like since both George and Matt are very different from Michael never gonna happen now haha *cries*)

To sum it up Lindsay was very different from every Katherine I have seen until now, she decided to show a whole other part of her personality and I honestly really liked it ! Not to mention that Lindsay herself was an absolute angel and was clearly incredibly happy she got to play this part. Good for her honestly because she slayed

[hyunjinspark]

i read the new chapter n jade..... my heart burned so badly, everything seems to be crumbling down all over n to think this has been yns long wished for dream that turned out a nightmare.. i have a few annotates to make!! ill out them below, its my first time so i rlly hope its not messy >.<

“Of course not” Hyunjin rolled his eyes, continuing to add details to his little map, right now he was adding the 7/11 between your house and Aera’s.

hyun thinking of yn neighborhood so fondly n cherishing the scenery sm let alone remember it to add to his painting was so heart wrenching in a good way.. it made me smile

“Unfortunately, I don’t think that’s going to be possible Jinnie. And…you’re probably gonna have to get the flowers tomorrow” Chan suddenly said, filling up the blender with ingredients.

i knew exactly where this was going n for some reason it made me rlly sulky.... hyuns hectic life ;—;

“No, but my girlfr-“ Hyunjin stopped in his sentence, clearing his throat, and he could feel Chan’s gaze burn curiously into him, “Um…one of my friends is. He’s her favourite artist in the world”

i was blushing so hard here, i got so flustered, i hope yn finds out abt this, the subconsciously calling her his girlfriend, its so!!!!!!! god!!!!!!

He saw your eyes widen, and a deep emotion overwhelmed you. He didn’t see you react more, and he wondered what this meant to you, what he meant to you right now, even so far away. You didn't say anything back. You must be holding it all in, just like him. Maybe you didn’t know how to put your thoughts into words. He couldn't blame you. Even after reading all the poems in the world, Hyunjin didn’t have the words either. Not enough anyway.

i loved seeing more of hyuns heart during such conversations!!!!! we havent gotten much of it so i cherish it all dearly n feeling hyuns sincerity towards yn from such insights, he better tell her sooner or later, poor yns heart deserves to know ;—; especially after the mess going on for a while now

I want you here with me at this party. Fuck, it’s so dull without you. If you were here, we could just sneak off and…I would kiss you. Positively. My manager is here, the scary one, but he doesn’t have to know. Earlier, I was reading a book and there was an English word in it that reminded me of you. Saudade. I looked it up because I was so curious and it said it’s a state of melancholy for a beloved someone or something. I think that explains this ridiculous feeling I have when I think of you. I have it even when I’m not thinking of you. Like last week, when we were recording this one song. It’s like you’re here with me in everything. I guess what I’m saying is, I just want to kiss you really really badly and fuck I’m really drunk so I’m sorry for how this may sound but I just really need to feel you—

this was one of the hottest things ive read through slwy..... the words rnt coming out, but, the desperation n need in his words here melt me.. i am yet again nothing but a woman it seems, this was genuinely so hot. i cant say it enough. i kind of wish he wasnt cut off at the end.....

Suddenly the expensive bracelets he was wearing felt like shackles around Hyunjin’s wrists. 

When he got home that night, he realised the hydrangeas in his room had withered away completely.

the poetry/metaphors in these lines were beautiful jade :(

At your question, Hyunjin’s grip on the wheel tightened. His shoulders tensed up.

You'd struck a nerve.

Good.

yn getting some revenge this way was so satisfying to read. yes u struck a nerve n yes its good that u did!!!

hey. i was just talking with minho and man, i miss you

I know you’ve likely forgotten all about me but call me later please…I think ill die here without you

yongbok is so sweet, i do miss him n i didnt realize how much i did until reading his texts here

“She’s a really good artist” Hyunjin suddenly interrupted you.

proud boyfriend behavior. i dont know if u understand but this was so proud boyfriend!

He’d gotten so much better in your absence. You’d only gotten worse in his.

this just hurt. bc yes. :( hyun come back :(

“No, I’m not done talking. After losing you, moving to the city was the hardest thing I ever did. Leaving Daejon behind, all my friends…the only life I knew, and this place where I don’t really fit perfectly, but I’m trying so hard to. It is so hard. The only thing I love…I can’t even love that anymore because I can’t fucking stop thinking about you when I’m painting! It’s not fair. You had a choice, Hyunjin. I didn’t” Your voice broke.

hearing it all pour out of her is so heartbreaking bc it feels like theres so much more she wants to say but cant bc of how overwhelming it is, my chest felt heavy hearing her like this :(

“I…couldn’t leave you at the party. It’s not safe…of course I had to drive you home. I would go insane if something happened to you”

something happened to her when u disappeared, dummy..... u should go insane over that instead bc yn did. so did i. hyun come back!!!!! ;—;

Raindrops slowly trickled down, tracing the ruined paper in your palm. The only memory left of you and Hyunjin was now gone.

heart ripped off my chest. im v sentimental even w materials so this.... it rlly hurt.

“Fine” You heard it being passed around and then his voice came in, “Love. I’m here”

i had these copy pasted in my notes but i just got to send u this ask so im unsure if this was bbok or lino... im thinking bbok, hes so comforting amongst the chaos he seems to be the constant yn needs

Draped in a beige trench coat, cheeks red from the cold, Hyunjin stood at the bottom of your staircase.

nothing n i repeat NOTHING couldve prepared me for this. i did not expect it at all, everything was so fast i was ready to take in a deep calming breath n read along w yns quick decision to go back but now theres....... hyun. hyun is here n i cant wait to know the reason, what hell say or do, how yn feels n how it plays out.. im so nervous n once again looking forward to the next chapter >.<

u once again worded everything so beautifully n im sorry its getting repetitive by now but i love ur writing n the depth to it. i hold it dear to me, this story. thanku so much for writing it w so much love, jade<3

-🤍

idk how i missed answering this !! this is so sweet, i cherished reading every line and i absolutely LOVE when you annotate, it makes me feel appreciated and fuzzy and warm inside. thank you for pointing out your favorite parts 🥺

im glad you thought hyun’s text was hot, the desperation is really there haha. and thank you for appreciating all the little flower metaphors i sprinkled in there ! i loved reading this. thank you for loving this story so much, you make me happy.

[thatonebipotato]

antizionist jew here. sorry to disappoint you, but antisemitism as a word was created to mean hatred against jews. it has shitty etymology because a german guy who was into eugenics created it. he meant to revamp the old word judenhass which signified a more "medieval" and religion based hatred, into a word which defined jews as an inferior race in the modern day.

trying to argue about etymology gets us nowhere when palestinian americans are being stabbed to death and jewish-parisian schoolchildren are facing bomb threats. yes, most antizionism is not antisemitism. but every so often it can be, whether that be a white supremacist co-opting the movement or a leftist who has genuinely unexamined antisemitic biases. and we need to understand what antisemtism looks like so we can shut down hatred that israel will use to continue presenting itself as the only safe place for us jews (hint: it's not).

please take this as an opportunity to learn. not calling you out but calling you in. thanks.

https://www.jewishvirtuallibrary.org/anti-semitism-or-antisemitism

alright, thank you for informing me! when trying to make sure that what i was saying was right, i found nothing that really said anything about this(i guess i just didnt look in the right places or hard enough).

what i had originally said was information that I'd gotten from many different kinds of groups, mostly others trying to shut that original argument down, so i thought wholeheartedly what i said was correct. im so sorry if i upset anyone with what i had said, i really am. i feel like i have a good enough grasp on the situation that is and has been happening, enough so that i could reiterate what I'd been taught/told on my own, but i was wrong.

i was trying to help deconstruct the argument I'd heard so many times, and i got it wrong. i have taken down the post, but some ppl did also reblog it already, so its going to stay there. cant do anything abt it, i fucked up, thats my own fault. if youre coming back from those posts to see what's up over here, uhhh here's what im saying :)

again, thank you very much for informing me! im a little new to actually being involved in things, so im very desperately trying to get everything right and try to help where i can, and im so sorry that i did it in the wrong way!

ill be sure to try staying a bit more on top of things, and thanks so much to you and also the few others who decided to help me understand, it means a lot!

[caspercryptid]

also another one - but again, it’s just a prompt a think? not really a requests bc i’m sure you have a lot of work already but i’d also love to see jayce crushing hard on viktor and slowly recognizing that for what it is bc so far he’s only been romantically involved with women? nothing long-lasting, just short flings or one night stands and he knows how that feels, but with viktor it’s so much different? bc jayce wants to be around him all the time, wants to talk to him and keep his hand on his shoulders, and with the flings he’s had in the past there was always something he expected to get in return? but with viktor he’s fine with just being around him, he doesn’t want anything in return as long as viktor lets him work with him? tldr; jayce attempting to flirt with viktor/show him how much he cares abt him but he’s got no idea how to do that bc he’s never had anyone so important to him? and so he desperately tries to do it the way he’s done it with women in the past, and viktor’s not having it bc he knows jayce’s like that with everyone during those fancy parties (it’s requited of course they’re just idiots), yeah, thanks and have a nice weekend!!!

Alright so NORMALLY I'm not very good with prompts that are lengthier, but! We Are Mutuals, and so I really wanted to knock this one out, plus it's very sweet and it's been living in my head rent-free for a month. On a related note. I am so sorry that this took me a month. Hope you like it!

____

Okay, so, maybe he doesn’t love Viktor like a brother.

Jayce thinks he may be stupid.

Well, that’s not entirely fair. He’s conventionally smart. Intelligent, rather. Caityn’s forced him to play enough of those character building games with the dice that he thinks the operative difference between Int and Wisdom might be relevant to his current problem. Which is that he really likes Viktor. He likes Viktor a lot. He likes Viktor like he’s never liked anyone else, or at least not another guy, but actually, maybe not any other person.

With other people, this had been easy. Jayce hesitates to say with girls because he hadn’t exactly given his sexuality much thought. He hadn’t really given romance much thought. Women sort of threw themselves at him and he occasionally reciprocated enough to go through the motions. He’d had some crushes, even, women were beautiful. Men were beautiful too, but men didn’t look at him as often, and Jayce tended to rule his type as people who were into him and so that narrowed that down. Or at least into him enough to be willing to make it very, very obvious they were into him, because he wasn’t... great at this stuff.

Sex had not been hard to come by, dating had been something he’d done briefly in his first years at the academy. Apparently he was good at it. The fact that girls tended to dump him aside. There was a fairly common refrain: You’re not trying. You’re distant. You’re wonderful when you’re around. You’re never around.

And he wasn’t, in fairness.

He didn’t really want to be.

Science had been the only thing that really interested him: he understood the social script, he could play the game, he was familiar enough with what he was “supposed” to do that it wasn’t terribly hard to just do it. He was a great first date. It went downhill from there.

With Viktor, though... well.

For the first time in his life, Jayce really wanted to be good at this. And for the first time in his life... he wasn’t.

He bought Viktor flowers (Viktor said they were lovely and really livened up the place and put them on a communal table. When Sky asked he’d said Jayce had gotten them for the lab.) Jayce got him chocolate and okay, he should have known that one was going to be a failure, he’d brought Viktor food and sweets enough time that Viktor accepting them with a passive little thank you about tracks. Want to get lunch? What time, oh we do that anyway. Want to get coffee? Why would we get coffee, Jayce, there’s coffee here. Jayce is about to lose his mind.

He’s trying to come up with a line again, in the lab at some ungodly hour of the morning, talking to himself as he cycles through the ones he’s tried and runs an energy test on a hexgem.

“Coffee? Tried that. Flowers? Tried that. Teddy bear? I don’t know if he’d like those stupid ones with the little heart messages. Surely he can’t misunderstand if I actually outright get a heart that says I love you on it, hell, get it monogrammed, just fucking write I love you, Viktor-”

There’s the sound of shattering porcelain.

Shit.

Jayce turns around, slowly. Viktor is standing in the doorway, staring at him. Jayce opens and closes his mouth, and then he looks down at the mug Viktor’s just dropped. It’s the piltover commemorative one with Jayce’s portrait on it. A chunk of his nose is sitting on the toe of Viktor’s shoe.

“—My face.” Jayce says, sounding way more distraught than probably appropriate.

“You love me?” Viktor asks, and then, “Shut up. Wait, don’t shut up. Forget about the mug. What?”

“I— Viktor, I brought you flowers.”

“You bring everybody flowers!” Viktor says, indignant, looking flushed from— Jayce assumes embarrassment. “You brought Mrs. Kiramman flowers last night!”

“They weren’t roses!”

“What the fuck does the breed of flower have to do with anything.”

Jayce looks at him. “Breed?”

“Is that— not the— do I look like I know anything about flowers, Jayce! I only know three kinds in Zaun! Fumewort, Dandelion, and Ghost pipe! And Dandelions are— nevermind. Nevermind! You haven’t answered the question!”

“Of course I love you.” Jayce says, flushing. “I’ve been— I don’t know how I could have made it more obvious! I’ve— practically been courting—”

“And what exactly would I know about Piltover courtship, Jayce!” Viktor says, and Jayce winces, not entirely understanding why Viktor is yelling, and somehow that makes Viktor angrier, and he stalks over. Jayce tenses, half expecting to get smacked.

“Look I can stop if i’m making you unc—”

Viktor’s kissing him.

The whole world grinds to a halt, and for a single shameful second Jayce freezes and forgets to kiss him back, and Viktor pulls back, leaving the taste of coffee on his lips.

“You love me.” Viktor says. “If you mean it, you had better come here.”

Jayce has to take a breath, sees the second of fear and doubt in Viktor’s face before he chases it away, leaning in to wrap his arms around Viktor’s back, almost pulling him off his feet before Viktor winces and pulls back with a little hiss.

“Jayce, Jayce, easy—”

“Oh gods i’m so— I really can’t do anything right.”

Jayce goes to let Viktor go, but Viktor doesn’t let him, throwing an arm around his neck and leaning more into his chest, carefully shifting his own weight to use Jayce as a support.

“You can.” Viktor says, smiling that mischievous little grin Jayce has always loved. “You just haven’t up till now. Let's change that, shall we?”

Jayce leans in to kiss him again, and this time, he does everything right.

[vigilskeep]

Oh, this is interesting! Can I ask about n°5. for... well, all companions, actually?

zev 5. how well did your warden keep in contact with zevran after the blight? did they ever see him again?

picture awakening era anders skidding into a roomful of vigil’s keep wardens to shout that the warden-commander got a letter from antiva and everyone whooping and cheering because they know she’ll be in a good lenient mood for like a full week. in the long term um well that’s the love of her life, and if i am feeling particularly like a sap, the father of her son, so. yeah i’d say they keep in touch

alistair 5. what became of alistair after the landsmeet? how did your warden feel about their decision of alistair’s future?

not minerva and alistair inventing platonic divorce 😭 i’m afraid alistair left the party at the landsmeet. he rules jointly with anora. he and minerva are both pretty miserable abt it and scratching up the walls of their respective castles w separation anxiety. lots of vague regrets and bitterness but neither of them can say they’d make a different choice. haven’t decided if they’re friends again eventually or if i just want to elaborately fantasise abt them never reconciling until they die fighting back to back in the franchise finale last battle or something. i’ll get back to you on that

(putting the rest under a cut bc theres so many)

wynne 5. what did wynne choose to do after the blight was ended? did your warden stay in touch with her?

i honestly cannot remember for the life of me what wynne canonically does next but i know they write the world’s most passive aggressive letters

leliana 5. how well did your warden get along with leliana? what was their relationship like?

this is partly because i don’t think i’ve ever quite gotten leliana’s dao writing, but dao era minerva has a quite superficial friendship with leliana where it’s just... easy to get along with her. but i don’t think they really understand each other at all? most of the time when leliana talks i think minerva’s like, how are you even real, what world do you live in. minerva would much prefer dai leliana who is in the real world with the rest of them, even if she’d feel like she should be sorry that leliana’s less hopeful now

sten 5. was your warden amused by sten’s love of cookies?

she’ll take it as seriously as she has to for him to share. dreadful sweet tooth

oghren 5. did your warden stay on good terms with oghren after the blight? If oghren got back together with felsi, did your warden ever go to meet oghren’s child, who was named after the warden?

i actually haven’t done a full run of awakening so i can’t firmly say but minerva recruited oghren late in the blight when she was already incredibly Going Through It and she just kind of... went through the motions with him at best. it’s only in amaranthine they actually could have any kind of friendship, if they do. i think it’s interesting that he’d be the only one at the vigil at least initially who knows she’s a maleficarum

morrigan 5. was morrigan’s ritual completed? what persuaded your warden to go through with it or what caused them to refuse it?

yes. minerva didn’t go to the trouble of sparing loghain and losing alistair just to either die or let loghain sacrifice himself and take the glory. she’d take any option offered over those. and also girls support girls’ questionable blood magic rituals

loghain 5. did loghain survive the landsmeet? if he did, why did your warden choose to let him live?

he did! to contextualise, minerva is an elven mage with tevinter heritage that always marked her out in the circle even before she actually became a blood mage during the blight. she desperately wants to prove someone like her can save ferelden; she’s terrified of being remembered as the bad guy. so having to kill ferelden’s once beloved war hero after defeating him with magic in front of the whole landsmeet? she knows how that’ll turn out in the history books. the compromise riordan offered seemed like everything she wanted, she just didn’t quite expect what it would cost her

shale 5. what did your warden make of shale’s “bird issues”?

hey if templars were small and squishable she’d do it too

[frogtanii]

WRITTEN BIT BABEY :)

you leave the room with a heavy weight sitting on your heart that is only amplified by the serious look on kenma’s face. you ignore it in favor of turning on the tv and going to disney+, queuing up the original mulan knowing how into the story hinata would get. still refusing to face your friend, you move to the kitchen digging around the cabinets to find snacks.

“yn,” the sound of your name jolts you out of your focus even though you were expecting it. “can we please talk?”

it feels like the air has been sucked out of the room, the only thing remaining being a heavy blanket of tension draping over the two of you. when you chance a look at kenma, you’re taken aback by the unreadable look on his face--it's overwhelming and you have to take a step back.

you turn away from him, unable to look for long without your mind racing and heart clenching with unknown guilt. a hand gently touches your shoulder, the feeling sending a shock of discomfort down your spine.

"we need to talk about kuroo," kenma starts, his golden eyes desperately searching for your own but you refuse to make eye contact, too afraid of what his expression might hold. when you don't move to face him, kenma sighs and moves somewhere behind you. the sound of a barstool scraping against the tiled floors alerts you that he's probably sitting down which signals a long and emotion-packed conversation.

"he texted me today." the relatively innocent statement is weighed down by the many implications behind it. your mind begins to race--what could that even mean? did he talk about you? your childhood? what he had done to you and more importantly, why? "what did you guys talk about?" the question is out of your mouth before you can stop it, desperation creeping into the edges of your voice.

you finally, finally, shift to face him, mentally steeling yourself for the upbringing of things you'd much rather forget.

"he's playing with you yn. you know it, i know it, he knows it. you need to separate yourself from him," kenma says, his voice monotone and soft. "i-i love you, you know that right?" you nod but remain tight-lipped, allowing your best friend to finish his piece.

"i know you think he's changed but some people never do. i just- i wouldn't be able to live with myself if i didn't say anything and let him hurt you like before." he lets out a deep breath and runs his hands through his almost entirely brown hair. something glints under the soft kitchen lights and you recognize it as the bracelet you'd bought him back in your first year of high school. you smile to yourself, not noticing the look of admiration in his eyes and the soft smile gracing his lips.

the sound of a door opening startles the both of you from your silent reverie, your eyes trailing to the hallway where hinata stands bundled up in four blankets and looking absolutely miserable. "oh shō," you whisper, his puffy eyes already welling up with tears.

kenma moves faster than you, kindly (well as kind as kenma can be) moving the hinata burrito to the couch with you following closely behind. you plop yourself down right next to the redhead, his body coming to rest in your lap. you can't help but lean down and press a kiss to his forehead, running your fingers through his orange locks.

"w-what were y-you guys talking a-about?" shōyō asks, his voice watery and thick with tears. you shake your head at his question, not wanting to bog him down with depressing tales about one of his friends. "nothing baby, nothing. how are you feeling? do you need anything? water, snacks?" your fingers never leave his head, even when he turns to look at you frustratedly, his cheeks puffing in annoyance.

"i want you to tell me what you guys were talking about," he orders, fumbling his body burrito until he's sitting upright between you and kenma. "i'm not a baby, y'know."

kenma barks out a laugh, leaning over to ruffle hinata's hair. "says the one who's been crying all day," hinata giggles at the contact before kenma adds, "baby." you grin as hinata tries to force a pout on his face but it doesn't work, a small smile worming its way there instead.

"we can talk about it later, hm?" you say as you stand before moving to the kitchen to get snacks. hinata nods and snuggles into kenma's arms while mulan begins to play in the background. you're quick to join them, handing a bag of chips to kenma while shō presses a kiss to your cheek before settling in to watch the movie.

------

turns out the later was much later--you'd gotten through all of mulan, frozen one and two, and half of moana before hinata tried to bring kuroo up again.

"shō, you really don't want to hear about it," you groan while cleaning up the kitchen, carefully evading hinata as he follows close behind. "but you promised," he whines, finally grabbing hold of you and resting his head on your shoulder. kenma pops his head from around the corner with a mouthful of pocky's and shakes his head before speaking up. "you should tell him--he deserves to know why you transfered to karasuno in our third year."

you roll your eyes before bopping hinata on the forehead, sending him to the ground with a moan. "fine but if i'm going to be forced to relive the hell that was my high school years, i'm gonna do it over text." with that, you playfully stomp back over to the couch, bringing out your phone and lying down, determined to get this conversation over with as fast as possible.

© promiscuous boy ;)

storytime!!

series masterlist

——————————————————————————

an: holy shit this took me FOREVER AND IT SUCKS ASS IM SO SORRY this is not how i wanted this explanation to go but my writing juice dissipated i am so sorry 😞 don’t worry abt feeding me idk if i wanna hear it for this trash LMAO

EDIT: I REDID IT SO KUROO IS LESS EVIL PLS DISREGARD EVERYTHING YOU MIGHT HAVE READ EARLIER GOMEN

taglist: if your name is in bold, i cannot tag you

@suhkusa • @tamaguchi • @heyyourecute • @yn-tingz • @mymelodysbreakfastburrito • @tadashi-simp • @bbyouamazin • @1987hotschott • @elianetsantana • @sunflowerirl • @amberalisa • @animeboihoe • @iloveyouasmuchaspoohloveshoney • @xo-lovelyreign-xo • @vitalthot • @starry-magicshop • @mariachiii • @karasunobbys • @underratedmage • @seomisaho • @timeturnerss • @h0ngh0ngh0ng • @myeggodied • @nekomacam • @smuttyanimeslut • @iminlovewhaikyuu • @saturnfarie • @dreamstormings • @spikertrash • @just-snog-already • @quiche-inoya • @strawbabytsukki • @sky-has-a-main-ig • @xxsweetbubblegumxx • @imnotyourramonaflowersbruh • @naimalove143 • @bakarinnie • @bakudad • @birdiewolf • @letthemreadfanfiction • @tsukkiboii • @misluck

[starleska]

hi hi hi!! don't worry about taking a bit to respond- i got sick earlier this week which is why i didn't send in anything else for a bit either ^^!! and i am glad to see you back after taking a bit of a break, i hope things will contine uphill from here <3!! lastly i hope i didn't make you uncomfy sending you a dm, but it was the only way i could send a clip of the king candy video TT!! either way, would love to hear ur thoughts on his voice HAHA

capitalists hitting different <33 i have an unhealthy amount of ideas about flintheart glomgold, funniest part being is that he's still completely insufferable and also a total creep LMAO gyro gearloose is soooo gooood though, very valid taste! he's just so MEAN and i get that that's the point but STILL HAHAHAHHAHA u should totally rewatch it it's soooo much fun!!! and lemme know if/when you do :')!

!! the dark path you mention is so interesting!!! the losing touch with their sanity part oooo… i think king candy actually wouldn't feel as bad about being the cause of that because it's making you pay more attention to him :')! and especially when you look up things online and you just can't find ANYTHING about this guy ANYWHERE no matter how hard you look, it just kind of pushes you deeper down the rabbithole- and just weekly visits turning into daily and <33 im thinking of you somehow hiding (maybe in the bathroom or something?) and so staying behind closing hours and actually being able to see characters doing Closing Hours things and you just become convinced you've completely lost it LMAO would give u the opportunity to have a direct conversation with him though! if i do end up making a b log i will let you know :') im a bit nervous to cuz when i look in selfship tags i mostly see really sweet n wholesome stuff while i quite have a preference for yandere and stuff like it haha

it's just because i loved the original so much that i was disappointed in the sequel </3!! oh well, that's how it often is. im kinda hoping we'll see some of the characters in something like the new dreamlight valley game cuz i think sugar rush's natural environment would be pretty cool to see in there :')

i'm just glad you've been enjoying chatting <33!! awww you don't have to apologise for being a monolingual /lh HAHA i'm also just a person that's particularly fascinated with linguistics and languages, considering im studying stuff like that n wanna do a master in professional translation lolol again, would love to hear ur thoughts on it! the translation is pretty faithful so i don't have much to say abt that specifically - sweet anon

aww noo!! i'm so sorry you were sick sweet anon, are you feeling better now? 💔 and thank you very much - i desperately needed that break and am doing much better now, thank you 💖 i know we've chatted since you sent this ask but please know i'm never comfy with DMs! as long as they're not like…hateful or overly familiar, i'll always let you know if i'm uncomfortable 😂 his voice is wonderful!!

you get it!! i'm always down to hear about terrible capitalists, especially when they're extra creepy 😉 GOD thank you for not judging me…i think my tastes have gotten a little more unconventional over the years, but Gyro's a classic dreadful nerd 🥰

aww yes yes yes!!! you slowly losing contact with your real life and becoming totally immersed in the game, people irl are wondering what's happened to you, and you feel like you need to get help…ahh, i get what you mean about being nervous!! i'm quite picky with who i engage with in the selfship fandom because there can be a lot of aggression over what people enjoy. i'm a big yandere fan myself, and need you to know there's no judgement here!! just have fun 🥰

i'll finish off the rest of the ask in DMs!! thanks so much for sending this in, it's very sweet of you - no pun intended 😭😭

[livingprophecy]

@fateviled​​​  asked:      ‘  i  am  too  tired  to  deal  with  any  of  this.  ’  (  selene  to  cas  im  sorry  abt  this  actually  )      /      growling  suggestions.

          𝐓𝐇𝐄  𝐖𝐀𝐘  𝐒𝐄𝐋𝐄𝐍𝐄  burns  herself  at  both  ends  scares  cas  sometimes.  it’s  the  opposite  end  of  the  spectrum  from  the  way  he  was  dealing  with  all  of  this;      she  hadn’t  stopped  to  even  breathe,  meanwhile  he  had  barely  gotten  off  the  couch.  and  that  was  after  she’d  dragged  him  out  of  bed  in  the  first  place.  the  unfortunate  thing  is,  they’re  both  exhausted.  when  cas  did  have  the  energy,  he  was  out  trying  to  find  delphine  and  stop  her  just  the  same  as  selene  was  doing,  and  they  were  coming  up  empty  time  and  time  again.  there’s  only  so  many  brick  walls  you  can  run  into  before  you’re  knocked  out  cold.  running  a  hand  down  his  face,  he  lets  out  a  loud  sigh,  finally  tearing  his  eyes  away  from  the  show  he  really  wasn’t  focused  on.  whatever  was  on  her  phone  seemed  important,  considering  how  stressed  she  looked  in  response.      “you  know,  a  logical  person  would  use  that  as  a  sign  to  GO  THE  FUCK  TO  SLEEP.”      how  hypocritical  could  he  be?  he  avoided  closing  his  eyes  because  every  night,  a  different  version  of  the  last  few  weeks  played  out,  and  his  voice  was  raw  from  screaming  himself  awake.  he’s  never  felt  so  useless,  curled  in  her  arms,  not  getting  any  better.      (at  least  he’s  not  getting  worse).

          𝐁𝐔𝐓  𝐒𝐄𝐋𝐄𝐍𝐄  𝐈𝐒  a  real  problem,  not  like  the  ones  in  his  head,  and  it’s  one  he  can  fix  if  he  tries  hard  enough.  rolling  his  eyes,  cas  reaches  up  to  her  and  snatches  the  phone  out  of  her  hands,  pointed  look  directed  at  her.      “stop.  you’re  going  to  crash  and  burn  and  i  need  you  —  ”      his  throat  closes  before  he  can  finish  his  statement:      admitting  to  it  still  made  his  mind  start  reeling,  and  all  he  can  think  of  is  the  panic  in  her  voice  over  the  phone  that  night.  blinking,  he  looks  down.    “and  that’s  not  going  to  be  pretty.  SO  JUST  SIT  DOWN.  before  i  tie  you  to  a  chair  or  something.”      her  phone  is  tossed  next  to  him  on  the  couch  as  he  pulls  his  legs  up  to  his  chest,  resting  against  the  pillow  next  to  him.  both  of  them  were  so  evidently  not  okay  —  he  just  has  no  idea  how  to  get  better  when  so  much  has  happened,  and  he  has  no  idea  how  to  help  selene.  she’s  always  been  the  strongest  person  in  his  life.      (how  could  he  not  have  seen  she  was  struggling?  was  he  selfish,  desperate  to  be  the  center  of  attention,  or  simply  a  coward?)            “i  could  just  say  i  didn’t  sleep  last  night  and  fall  asleep  on  top  of  you.  then  you’re  really  not  going  anywhere.”      he  adds,  now  just  grumbling  to  himself.  BUT  HE  HADN’T  SLEPT;      he’d  stared  at  the  ceiling  all  night,  scared  of  what  he’d  see  when  he  actually  tried.  and  he’s  certain  she  hadn’t  either,  considering  the  bags  under  her  eyes.      “you  can  have  your  phone  back  after  you  nap  or  something.”

[commander-diomika]

I am Very Tipsy (okay I'm drunk so sorry about spelling but also ¯\_(ツ)_/¯) but I just wanted to say that since I started reading your rqg series I have not been able to stop thinking about it! I mean the fucking development of it all just really gets to me it's incredible, don't get me wrong i like most interpretations of their relationship but there's just a soft spot for me when it comes to 'if I wasn't stuck with you we never would have gotten past how incredibly annoying you are' like every interaction they have pre-timeskip is deliberately pissing the other off and I feel like a lot of writers kinda side step it (again not a criticism) and I just love that you can feel the frustration when you write them. I mean in 'always forgive your enemies' you've got Zolf trying desperately to be like "no I've grown as a person it's been a long time he's clearly been through Some Stuff and maybe we'll be able to work together" and then Wilde says 1 sentence and zolfs immediately like "actually no fuck you I was right to not give a shot when you got tossed off a ship you're a tool" and the development of that to I don't like you but we've gotta work to whether to I don't dislike you but your friend sucks and no I'm not jealous what the fuck are you talking about to the terrified guilty rage if not being listened to but oh gods is he gonna be okay in 'experience' (along with just the utter heartbreak of Wilde almost reaching out to Zolf because yeah he does trust him now but then remembering that this is contagious and what if hes infected and what if it's HIS fault that Zolf gets sick and immediately shutting down and putting himself through a week in solitary IN THE ROOM HE SHARED WITH BOSIE SURROUNDED BY THOSE MEMORIES TOTALLY TRAPPED WITH THAT KNOWLEDGE BY THE PERSON HE TRUSTS BY HIS OWN ORDERS I MEAN FUCK DUDE and the kind of flirting except no I'm not but I mean if *you* were I wouldn't not be????? In 'the country' and 'talked about' and even then there's so many guards up and there's so much in the way - the blame the self loathing the guilt and the anger of it all AND the whole theres 2 people who had never met before we introduced them who shouldn't work are doing WHAT in quarantine (and also 👀👀👀👀👀👀👀) AND FUCK DUDE THE LATEST INSTALLMENT!? IVE BEEN THINKING ABOUT IT SINCE YOU RELEASED IT HOLY FUCK! THE UNFAIRNESS OF THE SITUATION THE BETRAYAL OF SOMETHING LIKE THAT HUT THE ONLY THING YOU CAN BLAME IS THE CIRCUMSTANCE THE ONLY ONES YOU CAN CURSE ARE THE GODS BECAUSE THIS ISNT HOW IT WAS SUPPOSED TO GO! THIS ISNT FAIR! WILDE SHOULD HAVE BEEN ABLE TO MAKE THAT DECISION FOR HIMSELF ZOLF SHOULD HAVE BEEN ABLE TO FEEL TRUSTED THEY SHOULD HAVE BEEN ALLOWED TO FEEL SAFE AND TRUSTED AND WHOLE AND TOGETHER AND THIS FUCKING INFECTION TOOK THAT! IT FORCED WILDE TO TALK ABOUT IT IN CIRCUMSTANCES HE COULDN'T CHOOSE! IT MADE ZOLF KNOW ABOUT BEFORE HED ACTUALLY BEEN TRUSTED WITH IT! AND IT WAS SO FUCKING UNFAIR AND DUDE IT WAS INCREDIBLE I JUST CANT ARTICULATE HOW I FEEL ABOUT IT AND THE WHOLE DISCUSSION JUST GOD IM YELLING IN MY OWN HEAD BUT NONE OF THE WORDS EXIST! I know a while ago you said you'd read something and you weren't sure about your own writing but Hank oh my fucking god please know that I've been thinking about what you wrote for the last month, I've been talking about it to my friends I'm so hyped for anything you have to write and I have no idea where you want to go with this or what points you plan to hit and everytime I get a notification I'm both excited and terrified and I just love it so fucking much your writing is incredible

Ooh my friend I have been waiting for your comment since I posted "Punish", I have come to enjoy your tipsy insights because yeah!! You get it! These fkn onion boys and their LAYERS of barriers they've both got up around intimacy (and yes I absolutely LOVED contrasting that with Barnes and Carter who in my head canon met like... 6 weeks ago? And just blew straight past any agonising over what it meant and got on with it. There's more of them in the next scene too BTW).

As soon as I decided I wanted to tackle the time gap with a trans Wilde, the strip inspections were the first thing I knew I'd have to wrestle with, and I KNEW it would be brutal and unfair and un-fun but also?? Absolutely one of the draws to ZolfWilde is that they've been through some absolute shit together, and exploring how instead of turning into unhealthy trauma bonding, it grows into something unlikely yet beautiful, and the fucked-up trans reveal was just another thing on the pile that they overcome or work through.

And Zolf has the thought of "this isn't how its supposed to go" but he wouldn't even be as close Wilde if not for the fucked up circumstances. There's no "supposed to". If this hadn't happened, Zolf and Wilde would have never worked together and continued to distantly think the other one was a git if they crossed paths. So it's a parodox of a thought.

Thank you for your nice words abt my writing, as always. I'm gonna go work on the next part u legend.

[darkmulti]

Last Night Alive

Incubus!San and Jongin x female reader

⚠️Warnings: spanking, threesome, double penetration, (cold, juicy fucking), spitting, slapping, dacryphilia kink, fear kink, knife play (but it’s really claw play), blood, blowjob, death, violence, whipping, language, degradation, bondage, overstimulation

it’s an incubus smut, what do you expect? Rough fucking

No one asked, but it’s my blog🤷🏽‍♀️

——————————————————————————

“What do you want from me now? Leave me alone San!”

She rolls her eyes and slams the door on his face.

“But- but you didn’t even allow me to tell you what I want”

“Too bad!”

She yells from the other side of the door. Her arms cross and she turns on her heels, but just as she did, San’s face was an inch away. Her eyebrows scrunched up in confusion, and she immediately stepped back.

“Where are you going angel?”

San starts walking towards her.

“San how did you get inside my house?”

She puts her hand out and tries to stop him from moving any closer but it didn’t work. He grabs her wrist and twists it, making her release a cry of pain. In anger, he pushes her against the wall and grabs her neck. The furious male effortlessly slides her body up, against the door.

“San what are you doing? Let go!”

Her fingers rapidly taps on his hand and she even tries to pry his fingers off. Unfortunately, luck wasn’t on her side. She holds her breath for as long as she could, until San slams her onto the floor. Her head hits the ground and knocks the consciousness out of her body.

San grows his nails out to sharp points. He sits on her lower stomach and cuts lightly on her neck; imitating a “Cut here” instruction. Underneath the lines he writes, “I am owned by Choi San.”

With a satisfied but sinister smile plastered across his face, he licks all the blood off her neck, then proceeds to carry her unconscious state back to hell.

——

“My little brother outdid himself once again. She’s a real beauty, San.”

The man crouches down and cups the girls face, admiring her light, but complementing features. His touch tickled against her soft cheeks. She looked too good to be true.

“She’s a beauty and a brat. Make sure you fuck that attitude out of her, Jongin. If you don’t, then I will. You tend to be a little softy towards these worthless chicks.”

Jongin rolls his eyes at his little brother's comment and stands up.

“Yeah yeah whatever. Now get the fuck out of here.”

“Not so fast brother. I got you a girl, I want something in return.”

“Really? That’s so interesting San, but I don’t really give a shit. I have nothing to offer.”

He shrugs his shoulder until San speaks again.

“You will give a shit when you look at her neck.”

“What?”

Jongin quickly tilts her head up to reveal the cuts San had left earlier.

“What the fuck San?! You already marked her.”

He yells in disappointment.

“My dearest brother. Do you think I’m stupid? Of course my one and only dick of a brother wouldn’t give me back something in return. You can use her, but at the end of each day, she’ll come crawling back into my arms.”

With that, San leaves his older brother in the basement.

Jongin rubs his face, not knowing how to feel, which was ironic because he couldn’t feel anything.

Although he couldn’t have you as his, he shall continue to desire your body, mind and soul for as long as you live.

——

“THIS IS WHAT YOU GET WHORE!”

His arms swing back and whips her again, making her sob harder. Blood from the cuts were gracefully glided down to her thighs, as she struggled in the restraints.

“I FUCKING KNEW IT! YOU WERE FUCKING MY BROTHER THIS ENTIRE TIME, WITH THAT DISGUSTING LITTLE CUNT OF YOURS!”

“Please, I’m sorry daddy.”

“A sorry doesn’t fix anything. This is your punishment and if I see one more tear pop out of those pretty little eyes, this will definitely be your last night alive.”

Another sob leaves her pretty mouth. Her tears were uncontrollably. They just kept coming and coming.

“San! Please.”

This time his hand spanks her purple ass.

“What’s my name princess?”

San pulled the leash, making your head look up.

“Oh, I’m sorry daddy! It slipped I promise! Please believe me!”

She pleaded with guilt and tears packed in her eyes.

“Believe you? After you’ve fucked my brother, how many times?”

He spits on your face then slaps it after.

He completely ruined her.

From head to toe.

The lingerie that she was forced to wear was ripped into pieces scattered across the floor and bed. Blood was present on the bed sheets and her bruised body. Puddles of cum were all over the concrete floor.

San pushes her face into the mattress and opens the door.

“JONGIN! COME HERE NOW!”

In a blink of an eye, he was standing behind you, naked.

“I heard everything from upstairs, and I cannot be more ready for this. Did this dumb bitch really think that I loved her? She is indeed a dumb cunt.”

San shuts the door and makes his way back. He flips the clueless girl over, making her groan. Her heels kept her butt up from touching the mattress, before Jongin pulled her legs and she felt an unbearable sting on her buttcheek. She cries and cries, while the two demons get off by it.

Jongin strokes his cock, that’s standing strong and proud. He makes his way towards you and shoves it in without mercy. San hovers over your mouth and shoves his dick down your throat.

“This is what you get slut. I can smell Jongin’s cum on you, and you thought you were fucking slick. I know everything babygirl. Dumb whore is what you are. My brother told me all the nasty things you did to him.”

He pulls on her hair and shoves it deeper down her throat making her gag. San takes himself out and throws the half dead girl onto the floor. Her eyes were swollen from all the crying. She didn’t even try to get up.

San laughs at her pathetic figure.

“Already knocked out whore? We haven’t even gotten started.”

Jongin smirked at his younger brother's behaviour.

“Hmm, I guess you are rough in bed.”

The older demon walks to Y/N, picks her up and puts her back on the bed. He tied the leash onto the bed frame so she can’t leave. He also covered her mouth with a lovely tie.

“Shall we start the feast?”

The brothers give each other ‘the look’. San put her on all fours and slides underneath her. He guides her pussy onto his cock and let’s her sit down. Once the two were comfortable, Jongin slammed the cock inside her tight butthole, punching all the oxygen out of her. The fragile girl collapses on San, not being ready to take him in.

All they could do was chuckle at the helpless and hurt girl. San wraps his arms tightly around the upper half of her body and pulls her down. His hips thrusted up into her and signaled Jongin to also start.

The two demons started pounding into her, giving her no mercy. She winces and screams, but they simply ignore her and keep going faster and harder.

After a solid 3 hours of fucking, San gives her some of his blood to keep her alive. The blood dissolves on her tongues and she re-gains a little bit of strength.

“Remember darling? Remember when you slammed the door in my face? This is your punishment for it.”

His hips start moving faster than Jongins, and the brittle girl takes it all. Cum was leaking out of her mouth at this point, like a broken water pipe. She’s had multiple orgasms, yet the boys didn’t have one.

But a sudden yelp left the girl's mouth and she felt the man behind her, knead the sore ass. San kneads her tits and spits all over her face.

Her precious sweat dripped onto San’s muscular chest. She tried to get up to straighten her back, but her weak arms didn’t allow it.

“Stay with me darling. You’ve been doing so well.”

San rubs her back and continues his pace in her. She cuddles up into his neck and focuses on nothing but to breathe. Her eyes start to close on their own until Jongin pulls her up by her hair and makes you look at San.

“Apologize to him.”

“Why?”

She whimpers out.

“Why? For fucking cheating on him you whore.”

His cock went deeper inside you and you immediately apologize over and over to San.

Her desperation made both of their cocks twitch. Before she knew it, another painful orgasm rips through.

“OW OW OW OW, FUCK! STOP THRUSTING PLEASE IT HURTS!”

She begs.

The men release all their cum inside you, making her a cum bag. Her walls shiver on San’s cock, making him moan out. Her butthole was throbbing around Jongin’s fat cock. When he finally pulled out of her, cum came rushing out, dripping onto her thighs.

She trembles and cries. San pulls her down onto his chest, and Jongin lays next to him with the little one in the middle.

“Told you it was your last night alive. You’re officially dead, and stuck in hell with us.”

——————————————————————————

Whew, this wasn’t a request, but like why not? This also wasn’t very good and my apologies for that, it was really tough to think abt the story line.

Anyways I’m gonna do another request tmrw❣️

Hope you enjoyed❣️ edited🔐

Xoxo, N❣️

[overgrownlive]

My first live blogged series was the Lunar Chronicles. Unfortunately, I only started blogging during Fairest, and the majority of my thoughts were from Winter. But I'm glad that I read it and shared my thoughts as I did.

That said, I wanted to share my thoughts on the series as a whole because it's been a while since I've gotten this invested in a YA series and tlc blew me away.

Spoiler warning!!!

Cinder-

My sibling recommended the book/series to me. They read it a while ago, and I was looking for some good old fashioned escapism (life is rough, yadda yadda) and I took the suggestion because I love reimagined fairy tales. I also love aliens. And cyberpunk.

So naturally I was on board from chapter one.

I actually originally thought that Cinder was gonna end up having the info on the lost princess lost in her coding. Didn't expect her to be selene bc I thought it was too obvious. I need to stop playing 5D chess with inter-dimensional time travel with YA authors.

I love Kai. I love Iko. I love(d) Peony. I have a love/hate relationship with Cinder and Torin.

Dr. Erland was my favorite character until I figured out why he started the cyborg draft bc dude there were so many better ways to do that. Like....idk you could have looked at the immigration files from Europe and found what family adopted a cyborg five years ago from Reiux France. But ...whatever. Fine.

Everyone might hate me for this opinion but I felt that the feelings that Kai had for cinder were very forced, especially at first. She barely spoke to him, she was just some girl. Idk, I didn't get it. Of course, once we get Kais perspective and he explains that he kinda asked cinder out for convenience I was like "ahh, yes...the fake dating trope. My favorite." /Gen. But then I got confused bc his feelings seemed genuine? Idk it was very confusing but tbh I didn't give a shit about their relationship, I wanted to know what was going on with Luna. I wanted to know about the plot. I wanted Cinder to save Peony and I thought she was going to.

And when she didn't

I almost cried.

I wanted Kai to save the common wealth. I didn't want him to marry Levana or make any deals with her

And when he did

I almost screamed

I understand the feelings now that I've read the whole series. I think it was more of an instinct thing. But at the time, before I knew how they fit together, I was really confused. They just seemed too different and too thrown together.

But, like I said, that didn't dissuade me from reading: the plot, the characters individually, and the world building were enough to keep me going. I'm not someone who reads YA for romance.

Scarlet-

Tbh this was my least favorite book. Again, not really interested in the romance between scar and wolf. I guess it's just that I knew they'd end up together in the end so it didn't really matter to me. I also knew wolf would betray her and I knew she'd be like "jk still love you" and he'd be like "same"

Also my grandma is fucking crazy in the bad way (I'm sorry if you love your grandma, I'm sure your grandma is very nice. Mine is not) and I would not do any of this for her so I can't relate to scarlet on that front. I like to think I'm like her in the strong, firecracker sense. But besides that, there's not a lot of relatability for me so idk

Thorne is my bestie and I love him. His friendship with Cinder got me through the book ngl. I feel bad saying this bc I really do love the series, and I like scarlet and wolf, I just wouldn't read a book about only them: if Thorne and cinder weren't in this book, I would've dropped the series.

I didn't like how wolf had to do everything for her. Like jump off the train and save her from ran and bust her out of prison and shit. Like, yeah, she shot him once but like...idk. not my fav. I think they have an interesting dynamic and I like the characters and their relationship is cute, I just was kinda like ..."okay, cool" the whole time. Not my thing I guess?

That's kinda all I have to say about this one? Idk, I still enjoyed it, I just also barely remember it and I feel like the main purpose was to set us up for angst later in winter.

Cress-

So Rapunzel is one of my favorite fairy tales and I love this retelling. The way that cress' feet get fucked up and Thorne loses his vision I was like "YES THATS SO CLEVER NFKSKRWKKA"

Also the foreshadowing abt their relationship. Thorne is one of my favs, I'm a sucker for asshole gremlins who want to be better.

The way that they kidnap Kai at the end made me laugh so hard. Torin helping melted my heart. I am now invested in cinder and Kais relationship, it doesn't feel forced anymore. It feels like they both saw something in each other that was so abstract that even the reader can't quite grasp it. Kai still has her foot. Why did he keep it? They think about each other constantly. They both have responsibilities that nobody else can understand, but at least they can both try. They want the same thing but neither can have it. They have similarities now. They fit better, now. I get it, now.

Dr erland being cress' father was something I saw coming but also didn't care about, I felt like we could've gone without that. It would be just as powerful if the DNA test came back negative. Erland was hoping, out of desperation, that his crescent moon was still alive. But he really did lose her. Idk.

I loved the desert. The symbolism.

I loved how they both had to rely on each other. I love the dynamic between cress and Thorne. How cress wanted a hero to save her, how Thorne didn't think he could be a hero ever. How they both were a hero for each other.

Thorne taught cress how to survive outside of her satellite. He taught her how to live on Earth. He was there when she took her first steps on feet that had never walked before. Not really.

And cress taught Thorne how to rely on others. She saved him from his sense of self, a view of his life that labeled him as a worthless criminal. She taught him how to care about other people. She taught him to see people, instead of look at them.

It killed me. I love them.

Fairest-

Fuck Levana

Winter-

I loved winter as a character and I really liked the way the story ended. I loved the confession scene between Thorne and cress and most of the rest of my thoughts/big takeaways and opinions can be inferred from my liveblogs.

One thing I will say, though, is I hate how Cinder plans on giving up her rule. I understand that she wants to dissolve the monarchy, but I think she should run for president or Parliament or whatever government she sets up.

Also like...if there's technology that stops lunar from abusing their power...doesn't the whole monarchy thing like...still work??? Idk

Overall this was probably the most engaging YA series I've read in a while. The characters were all diverse and individual and I loved the plot and world building. I've been done with the series for a few weeks and still think about it every day.

[bchanslvr]

tw: talk of loss of appetite tw: talk of eating disorder tw: talk of starving tw: talk of weight, throwing up & nausea !!

hi wifey sorry to be annoying or a burden, just felt like venting :)) so my mom got mad at me earlier bc i didn’t have one full meal today and she was like “ that’s how people get eating disorders ” and i was like “ it was just today? i didn’t feel like eating” but i just haven’t had the appetite bc i REALLY wanna loose weight and i don’t seem to have motivation to do like workouts and shit so i was thinking that starving myself for a few days a week/just eating like once a day with only drinking detox water or tea (that’ll help with weight loss) would work. and i’d just do that all summer. i just wanna be happy with myself yk? i’ve tried throwing up some of the food i’ve eaten. sometimes i’ll just think about what’s in the food or just smell it and i’ll loose appetite, i do that a lot actually. i stopped really eating breakfast, sometimes i’ll just drink coffee or tea or just make like soup or something. for lunch, it kinda just depends on what my grandma makes to eat for everyone but i seem to eat dinner the most and i hate it. + i don’t want to be the “thick” friend. or sometimes when people tell me they wish they had my body when i absolutely hate it and am trying to change it so desperately, i understand it’s a compliment, but it honestly just makes me feel worse - like they have to say something so i don’t feel bad abt myself, or gross or so they don’t look bad idk. maybe they genuinely like it but i don’t see it at all?? my stomach hurts and i feel nauseous rn. maybe tomorrow i’ll make a fruit smoothie for breakfast and eat something small for lunch or dinner. but ty for listening ily

- tired🪱

baby, i’m so sorry i didn’t answer this sooner. my mom caught me past my bedroom and took away my phone for the night because she thought i wouldn’t sleep and just look at my phone. i love you baby, there’s more stuff under the cut :)

i rarely say this but your mom is right darling. if you’re starving yourself on purpose and throwing up food just because of your weigh that’s bad. you’ll develop a habit, and when you do eat a full meal again your body will not be able to take it and you’ll just retch it back out.

and i hate to say this but i’ve been doing the same thing but i can’t. i’ve been also trying to eat less, not at all if i can. i hate my body so much. and you know what’s worse? my family doesn’t even hold back. “you’ve gotten fat”, “are you eating again?”, and they make me feel so bad about myself but when i do try not to eat they force me too. but they’ll say it all over again and their only excuse is “we’re your family. be happy that i’m pointing it out and not some stranger“. but like. i would rather have my non-existent friend call me fat than my own family.

and i’m lazy and only do workouts for pe but other than that i don’t do shit. i get you so much but please please don’t starve yourself. your body will not be happy. it’ll have to resort to using your body for energy because your not providing enough for it. and you’ll become tired and weak, and malnourished and we don’t want that do we? 

i love you so much babe and i don’t want you to ruin your body. just eat less that’s it. go on a diet! eat fruits! they have high in protein and nutrients and you don’t usually put weight on that. or maybe just skip one meal per day. NOT BREAKFAST. maybe lunch or dinner because you need the energy in the morning to get through the day. 

like you said, make some healthy smoothies! just don’t starve yourself my love. your beautiful no matter what. and i know this is so cliche but it doesn’t matter what’s on the outside, but what on the inside. 

i love you so much. i’m so proud of you. your so beautiful and talented. have a wonderful day my love <3