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sadiestarrs · 1 year ago

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It Always Resurfaces

Warnings: just a bit of swearing, use of y/n like twice, mentions of drinking, mentions of sex, hurt no comfort

A/N: tried to redeem myself after that other ellie fix because i absolutely hate it anyways this is probably gonna be a series

Plot: you found ellie cheating at a party and a month later you see her again

Word count: 1,700

Part one??

be with whoever you want

i don’t care, i don’t care

The blaring lights of the party you were at made your head start to hurt. Not to mention all the people crowding around, the heat from the dozens of bodies moving across the room.

Ellie had said she was going to get a drink, 15 minutes ago. She must have gotten lost because it couldn’t have taken that long.

You awkwardly stumble in between all the people, making your way to the kitchen. It was less busy but there were still groups of friends standing around. A bad feeling already settled down in your stomach, almost as if your gut was telling you to turn around and leave immediately.

Just as you step in, you see Ellie standing with a girl, a smile plastered on her face. Their conversation is muffled but you make out most of it.

“I mean, I was just looking for a drink but I think I found something better.”

She places a hand on the girl’s waist, pulling her closer. They stare at each other for a while, everything pausing.

She wouldn’t.

The girl reaches upwards, wrapping her arms around Ellie’s neck and kissing her, you nearly fall backwards, the weight of the world seeming to crush you.

You have to stop yourself from letting out a gut-wrenching sob, deep in your soul. How could she? What the fuck happened in fifteen minutes to make her forget about you so quickly?

Before you realise what you’re doing, you find yourself walking out of the party, trying to get away from everything. It was the middle of August but somehow you were so cold, desperately trying to calm yourself down.

You called an Uber, not bothering to leave a message about why you were leaving. Out of all of the things Ellie could do, cheating on you was the last thing you could’ve thought.

She couldn’t even be bothered to hide it, blatantly kissing someone in the middle of a party you were at. It all seemed fake. You just willed yourself to wake up and find out that this was just some sick joke.

No matter what you did, the scene played through in your mind, a never-ending loop.

I think I found something better.

It had been four weeks since the party. The first few days went quickly, you didn’t think of her much, mainly at night when it was colder and lonely. But like many things, you had to push through it. You couldn’t let her dictate everything in your life.

After a week you started to think more. How long would it be until you talked again? No, you couldn’t fail so easily. You had to show restraint.

Evenings had become the worst time, being alone with just your thoughts and a very depressing music taste with only songs about being heartbroken and left behind. Not even your favourite shows could distract you. Everything reminded you of her, every shade of green like her eyes, sarcastic jokes making you remember the same ones she made.

Ellie wasn’t holding up well either, going to any and every party she was invited to in hopes of seeing you but ultimately being disappointed when you didn’t show up and ending the night with a temporary fling, trying to fill the hole you left. Nothing worked. It was only until her friends reminded her that you had left that she realised.

They explained to her that you had seen them and that you needed a break.

It became useless to leave her apartment anymore. She didn’t eat, didn’t sleep. Not that she wanted to. She was just—there.

Dina had noticed Ellie’s lack of enthusiasm and started dragging her outside whenever she could, making sure that she was taking care of herself and being healthy. Other than you, Dina was the only person who took an interest in Ellie and eventually they saw eye-to-eye. It was gradual but the feelings were mutual, both of them having similar interests.

You started seeing other people too, none of them making you feel the same way, however. It was enough to rely on but you weren’t committed. Maybe some of Ellie’s traits were rubbing off of you.

“You okay?”

You’re caught off guard by the person accompanying you. She was a sufficient person, kind, and caring, but she cared a little too much.

It really didn’t make sense how you were annoyed at her checking up on you but cried when Ellie would leave for days at a time. Hell, you had even forgotten her name.

“Hm? Oh, yeah, I’m fine.” You pick up a pack of grapes instinctively without realising that Ellie was the one who ate them when you bought them.

“Are you sure? You’ve been acting weird all day.” She comes up to you, placing a hand on your shoulder.

“I’m fine,” you snap, leaving the basket and walking to another aisle.

Did she deserve that? No, not at all but a month had been the longest you’ve gone without seeing Ellie. Before that, it was 3 days, mainly because the urge to fuck someone became too annoying to ignore.

You angrily walk up and down the dairy aisle, thinking about everything. Did she not want you anymore? Surely a month was enough time to heal and forget everything? If you guys were going to get back together it would have happened a while ago. Maybe this was it?

As if she knew you were thinking about her, she turns down the aisle, stopping when she sees you. You can see her contemplate whether or not turning around would be a good idea but she takes a deep breath, inching closer.

She looked the same, her shoulders slightly slumped when she came towards you. What did she have to say now?

“Hey.”

“Hi.”

That was it. After a month of not seeing each other that’s all you had to say.

“How are you?” She asks, breaking the silence and sticking her hands in the pockets of her hoodie.

“I’m good, you?”

She just nods, “I’m fine as well.”

You both stand awkwardly, the freezing temperature of the fridges finally hitting you. Another person walks behind El.

“I was thinking about making pasta tonight. How does that sound?”

Ellie looks up at you before turning back, “That sounds great, um, this is y/n, Dina.”

Dina? Did she find someone else so quickly? How could she do that? It wasn’t even the girl at the party.

“Oh cool, how’d you know Ellie?”

“We were friends a while ago,” you say, holding your arms to your chest, withholding the truth. It was clearly not a good idea to spill all the messy details of your semi-relationship.

You say goodbye and walk away as fast as you could, tears trying to force out of your eyes. God, you were so stupid. Of course, she found someone else. Did you expect her to wait years? It was over now.

You wanted to feel relieved, happy that you could move on now but all you felt was pain, deep down in your soul, past your heart.

“I’m outside.”

You walk past your “partner”, telling her that you would wait in the parking lot, away from anyone. It was all too much. How could everything change in a matter of seconds like that?

Sitting on the edge of the pavement, you think about the first time you met Ellie. It was a party, one of your friend’s birthdays or something. She spotted you by yourself, standing in a corner after you caught your girlfriend cheating, again. It didn’t take much for you to go back to her apartment and spend the night and eventually, it became regular.

It was almost funny how you got cheated on twice, like history repeating itself. When it happened the first time you promised yourself that it wouldn't happen again but you got played.

Ellie didn’t make it feel meaningless, she cared. But she never showed it, the most affection she displayed was kissing your neck or hand and that was it.

When she walks out of the grocery store you see her place a hand on Dina’s face, bringing her lips close and actually kissing her. Properly. It nearly made you sob. The way she closed her eyes and helped with bags. Why couldn’t she do that with you?

They walk up to their car before El looks back at you and tells Dina to wait. Walking considerably slowly, she stands in front of you.

“So, what are you doing now?”

“It’s only been a month, El, nothing has changed.”

She sits down, still keeping a few inches between the two of you. “You don’t look okay.”

“How can you tell? You were never around to care about me.”

Humming in agreement, she sighs, going silent for a while. The silence isn’t comforting or uneasy, it was just silence. No one said anything. After about three minutes, she stands up again, not looking at you.

“I hope you know that I didn’t mean for it to end like that.”

You nod, trying to get her to make eye contact but it doesn’t happen. She didn’t mean for it to end like that. It? So she was aware of the way things ended but chose to say nothing.

You couldn’t stand even if you wanted to, it hurt too much. From their car you see Dina point towards you and Ellie shakes her head. She then responds by basically making out with her, basically having a front-row view, seeing everything through the windshield.

“Hey, I was looking for you, are you sure you’re okay?” The girl you were with comes out, holding a few bags.

“It’s over, I can’t even remember your fucking name let alone why I even agreed to be with you.”

You walk off before you can see her reaction. It felt bad, of course, but it was true.

Ellie remembered drinking herself to sleep when you weren’t there. The drowning in her chest, the look on your face when you closed the door after getting your stuff from her apartment, tattooed on her eyelids, a constant reminder of the hurt she caused.

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lotusparadisaea · 1 year ago

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I keep thinking about how Only Friends would've benefited from a longer run-time and how some specific things of the show could've been handled a lot better if that were the case so I'm writing them down to have them all out there.

Giving Top a personality.

I think one of my many grievances with the show (despite the fact that I like it a lot) it’s the fact that unlike other characters, Top doesn’t seem to have much development outside of his relationship with Mew. We get to learn a little about all these characters episode from episode, yet all we know about Top are throwaway things that are almost never mentioned again or instantly resolved, or don’t carry throughout the show.

For example, his drug use. We learn about his drug use and apparently, it’s immediately resolved once Mew offers to sleep with him to make him stop. He can, it seems, stop cold turkey. Although he seems to be a very “sentimental” user (he talks about being high when he’s alone or to have fun). This is never brought up again, not even when Mew starts using. Which I found weird? I thought maybe he would get back to it after he ended his relationship with Mew, or at least have a harder time deciding not to take it, yet his drug use was mentioned once, resolved instantly, never brought up again.

Then, the sleeping pills and his trauma, we get to learn why he uses him, his trauma around sleeping alone, yet we never really see him struggling with that, in that same scene Mew agrees to sleep with him, and then we see him deciding not to take them, calling Boeing instead. Yet. We never really see him struggle with not being able to sleep otherwise. He has PTSD about a traumatic event on his childhood and I think he, as a character, would’ve benefited from a scene where, after breaking up with Mew, and before calling Boeing, he tries to sleep alone and isn’t able to, maybe showing his discomfort, an anxiety episode or something similar. The worst thing is this scene exists, where he decides to take someone else home after he sees Mew and Ray but fails, he can’t have sex with them, he CRIES and has to tell them to go away, and YET THE SCENE WAS DELETED.

Just learn more things about him in general. We know Nick’s dreams of animation and Boston’s photography, we know Sand wants to travel the world and go to music festivals, damn, we even know Cheum’s girlfriend, April, who only shows up for like three episodes is going to film school and makes confusing indie short films, yet we don’t seem to know much about Top’s aspirations, dreams, likes and dislikes, other than the fact that he used to sleep around and now he’s in love with Mew.

Boeing showing up sooner.

Had Only Friends been a longer show not being cut short by the typical run-time of your average GMMTV BL, and it had, let’s say, 18 episodes (like other gmmtv shows such as PSIHY), Boeing’s appearance in the last stretch of the show could’ve been less rushed. He could’ve showed around episode 12 and still make chaos and ruin relationships for six episodes, instead of three episodes where we barely get to learn anything about him other than he deeply dislikes Top for having dumped him. Like, why is he trying to get on with everybody? What are his motivations? Does he just like the drama? Does he have an actual plan? Like I could say: Boeing deeply regrets leaving Sand for Top, he realizes he made a mistake as soon as Top dumps him, and since then he plans to get Sand back and ruin Top’s life. That could be a motive. But we don’t know much about him, not really.

And also, sooner as in: we should’ve had flashbacks of his and Sand and Top’s relationships. I know that would’ve ruined the reveal of the actor, but I think there are clever ways to show flashbacks of a relationship without showing the actor’s face if the reveal was so important. Right now, we see Sand being awkward around Boeing but never straight up saying no, why is he so hesitant? The whole show we’ve seen him being in love with Ray, what was his relationship with Boeing like? Why did it make him hate Top so much to enact a revenge plan on him, even knowing he could hurt the person he currently likes? Were things really that insane? We know they had plans together but that’s because we were told this episode, it would’ve been so much better if the change we see Sand have in Boeing’s presence had much more context.

Exploring more the different relationship and dynamics

Okay, I think the show does a great job at this but there are things that seem so out there, that aren’t really developed or that could’ve use deeper approaches.

The group friend: why are they even friends? Did they met in university and found out they were all queer and banded together? Why, if both Cheum and Mew find Boston’s sexual life so awful they stick around him? Why did Cheum act like Ray was the only one at fault in the whole raymew debacle when they’ve always known he has substance abuse problems and he’s in love with Mew? Why does she says Ray never cares about them and yet the first scene of the show it’s them poking fun at Ray for always telling them he loves them while he’s drunk and he’s drunk all the time? The whole friend group should’ve had a deeper approach, imho.

Ray and Mew: okay, so Ray is in love with Mew. Mew knows this. We know Mew stopped Ray from committing suicide and that deepen their vow. We know Mew chose to be with Ray because he wanted to hurt Top. We know Ray couldn’t say no to Mew, even though by that point he already liked Sand. Yet we barely have any scenes of them together. We hear from their friends that their relationship was a mess, as short as it was, but we only really get one episode showing it. The next episode they broke up and are really mature about it, which? Okay, fair, but what was really their relationship like? We had glimpses of it.

Cheum and literally anyone else other than Mew: she’s Mew’s ride or die apparently, but she’s supposed to be friends with all of them. She even says if she weren’t a lesbian she would choose Ray, yet we never see her being a good friend to any of them. She’s literally a better friend to Top that she ever was to both Ray and Boston.

No half-assed plots

Sometimes it feels like the show is trying to do too much and it isn't able to. Specially these last episodes. The whole Atom/Boston debacle could've been better if it had taken more episodes to develop. We don't see his "friends" ostracizing him other than the first confrontation, but like, they literally threw him off their thesis project, even if Boston is leaving, i think he would've been at least a little worried about not being able to graduate. Atom hasn't gotten any consequences, Cheum and Mew have not apologized. I feel like this plot should've been better executed.

Same thing goes for Mew's little "Reputation" era.

And other plot points like, apparently Sand and Ray were sleeping together all the time when Ray and Mew were together? But this was never shown, in fact, it was implied Sand was keeping his distance, trying his shot with Freddie #2, telling Ray he wasn't his rebound or second option ALL THAT WHILE STILL SLEEPING REGULARLY WITH HIM?? There's a lot of "tell and don't show" in the series and it falls flat because of it.

The things they did show are good, for example, Ray's drinking problem. When we finally reach the rehab plot it doesn't feel rushed or out of nowhere because we've seen Ray drink all the show.

More development for the main couples.

This is self-explanatory, but like Jojo himself said they had to cut scenes for ALL of them because of the run time. I feel like for a relationship/character driven show, sometimes it really seems affected for the short run time. There are scenes we see in previews we don’t get, scenes that are released ON TWITTER because they didn’t make it to the show and a lot more of depth in the book that in the show and if that’s not a clear sign that the show should’ve been longer idk what it is.

#only friends the series #ofts #only friends meta #sandray #topmew #bostonnick #needed to get this out of my head to study so here goes nothing

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ride-thedragon · 1 year ago

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A lack of Nuance for Rhaenyra and Criston.

I don't know when this fandom came together for the group agreement that anything that occurred between these two should not be viewed past superficial lenses that draw to the worst possible conclusions for them both, but I didn't sign it.

This fallout is so emotional, bitter, and unfortunate that to only see it within the views of making these characters, the worst versions of themselves is a disservice to one of the better plots the writers wrote.

Their Society

Rhaenyra and Criston exist in the intersections of women and men and princess/heir and knight. The assumption that any necessary conclusion about their dynamic can happen outside of either one of these dynamics leads to really reductive takes. For example, everyone's favorite misinterpretation, their sex scene.

Rhaenyra is a woman. She is the property of her dad and then her husband. She doesn't escape that as heir to the realm. Had Rhaenyra married anyone who didn't care about her or put their explicit permission with her about her virtue, she would've been devalued in that relationship.

Screwing a princess, the heir, especially, is crazy. He put his life at risk doing that. Not to mention him being a Dornish King's Guard. Not only is he expected to be a sexual deviant, but he's sworn an oath to be celibate. So when they do sleep together, he's breaking a sacred oath with the underlying stereotype that he would.

Because he is a man, his consequence would lie solely on him breaking his vow, not with sleeping with Rhaenyra. In one of the craziest hypotheticals I've seen with y'all come up with, if Rhaenyra said Criston assaulted her, he's an oath breaker who deflied a princess and a rapist. She is still viewed as less of a prized bride without her virtue.

Like book Lancel, who says,

"A Frey girl, and not of my choosing, she is not even a maiden."

There is a stigma that virtue makes a girl more or less desirable.

The risk for each of them would never be equal for many reasons, but the risk is still there and does involve consequences. It holds as much risk for each character as it could given their positions.

Our Society

Power imbalance

He knew her at 14, and she chose him to be her protector at 15, and he's been that for her about 4/ 5 years when we see them consumate their relationship. He's older than her and more experienced.

Rhaenyra holds a lot of power as well. As a princess who appointed him to his position, there could have been a sense of obligation or coercing purely based on the what-if consequences if he had said no.

The back and forth in our world is the ability for either party to truly consent, a debate that, although it holds a lot of nuance, y'all can't seem to process past each other. These ideas co exist and make the dynamic interesting.

Emotion

These two are each other's closest companions at this time. Rhaenyra has been formal and frigid towards Alicent, and Criston is her constant company. She's also been on tour to find her husband, with him being her closest confidant.

The escalation of their relationship and denial or regret for either of them after sleeping together has them losing that relationship.

It's an extremely delicate boundary they both risk when they start to sleep together, one that is eventually lost.

The SA Part

I just wanna talk.

Coercing, as I understand it, is the most extreme thing you can say happened between them. You'd still be wrong.

The risk I mentioned earlier applies to both of them. If Criston had turned her away, which he could've done after she kissed him, she would've lost that same emotional dependence.

A breakdown of what happened:

She starts to open her top, he says stop, and she does.

She then starts to take off his glove cuff thing.

She looks at him, raises his head, and kisses him again, something to which he fully responds to and they start doing what they do.

At no point is there a lack of understanding that they could stop. Neither of them want to stop.

Then you say the helmet and door thing before so I'll allow it.

If he took up his helmet and walked out, she wouldn't restrain him. She'd be hurt and rejected, but she would not force him.

He literally takes his cloak from her, contemplates his movement, and lets it go to remove his shoulder pads. The visual language plays into him, choosing desire over honor, not him being forced into something he doesn't want to do.

At no point are the visual, audio, or character actions indicating assault or coercion.

Let it die here, please.

The Incel Accusations

I'm gonna be disrespectful before I'm serious again.

Fabien's mug? Involuntary Celibate? There is no correlation between those two questions.

Stop it. Let's be serious and say it, 5 minutes in a room with Criston, any 1 out of 3, would put an end to those accusations, and I'm tired of y'all acting like it wouldn't.

Words lose meaning all the time, but incel would mean he's a violent misogynist who takes his inability to have sex out on women.

He's might be homophobic (a joke) but he's not a woman abuser. His closest relationship in the show is Alicent, and it was a mutually beneficial decision they came to that to maintain his deeply respected position as a King's Guard, with which he returns to his vow of chosen celibacy.

The one time he uses a slur against a woman, he's trash-talking Rhaenyra with Alicent, saying it and immediately corrects himself with a pause in the conversation, saying it's beneath him.

They are both angry, but he corrects himself for going to a place beneath their conversation, showing that he respects her contribution and their discussions enough to be weary of vulgarity.

Criston, as a character.

Criston, as a character, is loyal, loving, and emotional. We see this with the way Alicent speaks to him, the way he speaks to Rhaenyra, even the conversation with him and Daemon. He's a reactive and emotional man.

We see the darkness in that with Ser Joffrey and Lord Beesburry. With the way we see him holding that grudge against Rhaenyra. We see it with the way he interacts with Rhaenyra's kids through Alicent’s.

Him wanting to run away with her isn't him desperately trying to seek comfort with his abuser.

It's him trying to come to terms with the fact that he's made a big, emotional sacrifice, and he can't justify it within himself.

His proposal doesn't align with her wants, and they fall apart. He's reactive and emotional and blames her. It's still his conflicting beliefs and actions.

He attacks Joffrey because of that. He tries to kill himself because of that. When Alicent finds him, she becomes a beacon in which he can earn forgiveness, away from Rhaenyra and can set the conflict to rest within himself. He chooses the King's Guard.

And he's loyal to that forgiveness to a fault, something Alicent knows, which is why she can vouch on, "with everything you feel for me,".

Is he wrong? Yes, on multiple occasions, but he's allowed to be. He's a flawed character in a flawed society.

Rhaenyra, as a character

I've never seen a character so consciously misrepresented by her fans and detractors. She's either Satan herself or the mother Mary reinvisioned. Let's go over this.

She is entitled. She uses that entitlement to her benefit. She is emotional but logical and plays to her strengths. She also has a dimension of naiveté all throughout her life. She's living to a fault.

Step by step for everything.

She sleeps with Daemon at his wife's funeral

She gains her father's favor in a fight against her maimed brother and disrespected son where she openly acknowledged it.

She let's Rhaenys think that she killed her son to marry Daemon and let him buy into the fire and blood sentiment because she knows him.

She leaves King's Landing for six years and expects her highly contested crown.

Her weakness is always the people she loves. From episode one to episode ten, it is her way. With Alicent, the best example, she always forgives her and always pushes past any ill intent to gain her favor back.

Their Interactions

So we have a spoiled naive princess who loves people entirely, and her companion, whose loyalty she comes to rely on, so much that she risks her reputation with him and who becomes her closest confidante.

She names him a King's Guard and her guard, and they get closer. He's attentive and caring to her, and she's loving and naive.

When they fall apart, he views her for reasons said above as a representation of his temptation and straying from his current path. She used him for her own gain and didn't want their relationship to progress past what he was deeply ashamed and conflicted over.

When they drift apart, he causes a highly dangerous event, killing her husband's lover, creating a bridge in their early marriage that she can't afford to mend with the expectations of her as heir. He abandons her and becomes close to her friend, who even though she reached out to her, still not trusting her. He then completely gave Alicent that loyalty, leaving Rhaenyra alone at a tumultuous and anticipated time in her life, isolated.

Love and Loss

They loved each other. Argue with your family members, and maybe they'll care about your rebuttal, but I don't. They love each other in very similar ways they go on to love the people they truly love.

It was young and emotional and naive, and when it was over, in its place, grows confusion and bitter resentment.

Rhaenyra has to move on for the sake of her kids and new life, but Criston can't because his life now is in opposition to who he used to be, which is symbolized by Rhaenyra.

A fair conclusion

They are characters. Stop being weirdos about them. They are both deeper than y'all, allowing them to be and had a really dynamic place in each other's lives. They are both greatly misrepresented by their sides and foes. And y'all would have a lot more fun if you didn't do that.

#hotd #house of the dragon #rhaenyra targaryen #criston cole #criston and rhaenyra #rhaenyra x criston #my kids #criston you are the visuals #hotd criston #hotd rhaenyra #queen rhaenyra #ill miss yall #a song of ice and fire #i had to watch those scenes again to do a breakdown #im not doing that again for yall #the sa thought never sat right with me

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wutheringmights · 8 months ago

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can i ask for the hot mess commentary plz?

sure

Before we crack into this, take a moment to read what I said about the neck thing. I write that up a long time ago, but it provides some important context and is a good refresher on the secret history of Spirit's bi awakening.

Also, the director's commentary for this chapter is here, in case you want to review that.

Good? Okay, let's go at it.

So.... they had sex. Yay. Insert jazz hands.

I feel like I actually have way less to talk about here than I did for the neck thing. Granted, a lot of the neck thing is behind the scenes stuff. I guess that's a good place to start.

You may recall the informal hiatus CTB went on after Spirit came back to Warriors's era. I used a lot of that time to actually work out how to end CTB and what character/plot points I would need to hit to have a satisfying conclusion.

During this time, I was listing out things about Spirit and Warriors that I need to return to. Spirit had his codependent histories with the greenhorn and Zelda, or really his strategy for offering himself up as a means of feeling more in control, that needed to be explored. I needed to do some kind of follow-up with Warriors's latent attraction.

The two topics were similar enough to make me want to tackle them at once. But the moment I did, my brain decided that they should hate fuck. (I definitely was also thinking about my old concept of Spirit's unrequited crush-- I still write the characters like that happened, even if it never actually made it into the story.)

Why hate sex? Honestly, it would be kinda funny. Plus, it's a good writing exercise to ask yourself what would happen if your characters in conflict did (not really).

I knew immediately it could only end badly for everyone involved. But I knew I needed Warriors to hit an emotional low point to motivate him to do his Castle Town plan. I knew I wanted Spirit's big speech to come at a time when he and Warriors were emotionally connecting again, and that the response to that speech needed to push him back to Time.

Shit, I thought. This might be what they do.

But, like. I love protecting my peace. I have been skirting around the edges of homo eroticism with Spirit and Warriors as much as I dared. I didn't want to invite angry anons. But then.... did I really care? I understand where people are coming from, but at the same time... this is such a minuscule non-issue. Truly, and with emotion: who even cares?

First off, we already established with the neck thing that whatever fucked up thing these two have going on does not count as shipping. And second, if it does count as shipping, then fine! It's shipping then. This is what the plot is. I've been working on this story for too long to compromise now. I'll reap the consequences, whatever they may be.

I decided to keep it on the books, half believing I would change my mind once the chapter came up.

I was feeling very confident about my choice, up until the day of posting. That was then I got slammed in the face with regret. Luckily, there hasn't been any issues. I may have overestimated as much the general populous care about CTB. If there was ever any confirmation that this story has the world's most niche audience, this is it.

And you all have been great. There's been a lot of encouragement and kind words from you the readers, after you all stopped yelling, of course.

(Though I was prepared to be an obstinate jackass to anyone who tried to complain. I found a loophole and was ready to exploit the hell out of it. I was so ready!)

Funnily enough, everyone's reactions to the past few chapters helped to reassure me the most. There was been a lot of jokes about Warriors and Spirit having the world's worst situationship (lol).

So them having sex turned into an important character and plot moment. Warriors and Spirit got built up and tore down in self-destructive ways. This experience becomes the wake-up call Warriors needed to decide that he was ready to stop being the hero and get his life back.

A lot of people expressed surprise that Warriors and Spirit would go through with it even after talking it out. To be honest, I was a little surprised too! I was half convinced that Warriors had grown enough to stop the self-destructive cycle and turn Spirit down. But when looking at the scenes leading up to them being alone-- from Twilight denounce his friendship with Warriors, Toto turning him away, and Warriors generally in an emotional rut over his intellect and lost beauty--I realized that Warriors was already in the middle of another downward spiral. He would go through with this, if only to feel valued. It was the war all over again.

Also, apparently half of you guessed that Warriors would get cigarette burns from Spirit eventually. I hope you all were happy with the results!

When I posted that snippet from the chapter, apparently all of you knew that a kiss was coming. Ooops. I'm a little glad I surprised all of you with what happened next afterward.

On to funnier things:

I meant for there to be more compare/contrasts between Warriors's nights with Icarius and Spirit. The only one I really managed to do was Link being unable to sleep next to Icarius vs Warriors falling asleep easily.

Because this chapter and the last were supposed to be one, this scene was supposed to come out around Valentine's Day. Could you imagine?

I had the silliest time trying to figure out how to get Warriors and Spirit alone in a room together. I had this grand plan about them needing to get a room in a different inn from the others, whether because they were too tired to walk home after dancing or because they were too drunk to remember the way. Then I realized that Ganondorf could just give the Chain enough money to get more rooms. I realized this way later than I should have.

If you're wondering.... they switched....

I wrote that Warriors thought that sex with Spirit felt like an argument. That is because they are both the bossiest motherfuckers in bed. They both want things done their way or else. It's combative. Unfortunately, they both like the challenge.

I did have an idea for how to end this whole matter in a funny way, both involving someone from the chain finding out.

In my first idea, Time barges into what he thinks is just Warriors's room, in the middle of some kind of rant. Then he sees both of them sitting in bed, pauses, then promptly walks out. Warriors and Spirit quickly get dress before there's a knock on the door. When Warriors opens, Time walks in casually and starts his rant again while pretending none of this had happened. He would wait until Warriors was alone to be like WHAT THE FUCK!!!!!!

My other alternate scenario involves Warriors and Spirit getting a room in a different inn. In the morning, Spirit is hurriedly trying to leave when there's a knock on the door. This time, it's a few members of the chain asking if he's seen Warriors anywhere. He says no. All but one walk away. The one who stays (probably Legend) would lean and discreetly tell him that he knew the room was under Warriors's name, so if they were done, could he tell Warriors to get his ass outside? Cue Spirit burning up in embarrassment.

EDIT: I actually had a third silly scenario idea. Similar to the others, Twilight barges in to talk to Warriors about Midna (they're still friends in this scenario; this was an idea from a long time ago). Warriors is still in the bed, but luckily Spirit is in the bathroom. Warriors tries to have a normal conversation without alerting Twilight that something was amiss. And it almost works until Spirit just walks out of the bathroom, waves, and goes to put his clothes on. Cue Twilight's 404 error.

So, yeah! That's the Hot Mess. As always, it's been really fun to see everyone's reactions. Warriors and Spirit are both extremely polarizing, and I love hearing everyone's hot takes.

Does this count as toxic yaoi? Not until I see an AMV to "Numb" by Linkedin Park. Luckily, Warriors and Spirit will never do this again. Probably.

#same rules as last time: please keep this out of the main tag #it's been fine so far but let's not tempt fate lol #feel free to ask follow up questions as well #me rambling #lu ctb #ctb lore #ctb spoilers #the hot mess #ctb commentary

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miadearden · 4 days ago

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Okay Arcane2 Act3 thoughts!

The opening sting having a different picture on the record had me going “OH SHIT” right from the get-go!

Wheeeeee! Ekko time! I theorised that we’d get a full Ekko ep (my thinking was ep08 but I think ep07 worked better) and I’m so glad we were correct. Ekko reckoning with the fact that his tip as a child kicked off both the events in his world and in this new reality that he finds himself in, that regret getting mixed into his need to recreate the hextech anomaly and thus he ends up with the Z-Drive, a device that literally lets him go back in time. Really excellent stuff.

Also the fact that this other version of Powder was so key to helping him make the Z-Drive - and the fact that she sees that she’s been hanging with a different Ekko than the one she knows at the end I CRY

Surprised that Heimerdinger died, but it makes sense. I don’t think there was really much more that he was going to offer to the story, so yeah.

I have less to say about Jayce’s side of the hextech trip. It was about what I expected. Called it that the old sage that influenced his desire to pursue magic would end up being Viktor. And the robot? Creature? Thingys? Were creepy As Fuck. So good going there.

All in all, really loved this ep. Not as much as ep05, but still very much.

Onto ep08! And lmao that tweet about how Cait doesnt stand a chance as the hottest woman on the show when Mel is around goes even double now. Ho dang.

That said, due to the pace of this season and the events that followed, I think the emotional side of Mel’s arc ended up being a ball that was dropped a bit. Like we had that conversation between her and Jayce after about her having to reevaluate who she is now, but it felt kinda forced and I feel like we needed some time for her to sit with her feelings a bit more.

The fact that she went to Ambessa at the end of ep08 and offered herself up to Piltover even knowing that Ambessa just wants her magic broke my heart

Onto Cait - I still stand by my thought that her arc has also been harmed by the breakneck pace of this season - however I do love that we see her draw the similarity between her and Jinx and acknowledge that her pursuit of Jinx drew the worst out in her.

And Jinx. Oh, my poor, poor, girl. Once again her and Vi are going ahead and making me cry. Ekko too. Him using the Z-Drive over and over again, trying to save Jinx’s life. I cry.

On the opposite end, CAITVI SEX SCENE?? SEEING VI’S FULL BACK TATTOO FOR THE FIRST TIME?? ALL TO KING FUCKING PRINCESS?? LET’S FUCKING GOOOOOOOOO

Hey, so do the Jayce haters still think he’s in the wrong for what he did in ep06? Even after Viktor’s whole speech?

My thoughts during ep09 - “Oh, THIS is League of Legends” isn’t it? Lmao

I can’t believe the Maddie haters were right, actually. Incredible call by the haters

Alright getting Mel and Cait up against Ambessa while Ekko, Jinx and Vi are taking on Vander was a very good choice. Loved the Zaunites coming in led by Jinx during the all-is-lost moment, and Mel’s ploy to pretend she’s giving her mother over to the Black Rose but taking it back.

Hooting and hollering and screaming “Boy fucking Saviour let’s goooooooooooo!” as Ekko came in clutch with the Z-Drive. That’s my boy! There he go!

Fully did not expect Jayce to go out with Viktor. Alright then. A win?? I guess?? For the JayVik fans??

(Also “there is no prize to perfection, only an end to pursuit” is such a good fucking line I’m mad that Viktor of all people got it)

Well, Singed got what he wanted at least.

All in all, good season - not great, primarily because of the pacing which I think I’ve brought up in each one of my posts. There were a number of elements in this season which needed more breathing room to really hit, and we just didn’t get that which is disappointing. I’ll probably still check out the next LoL series that Riot makes - particularly if most of the same creative minds are going to be behind it. And I’m definitely going to be keeping track of a number of the Fortiche artists and Fortiche in general and what hey work on next (which if I’m remembering correctly they’ve announced a Hades/Persephone movie that they’re making?)

So, yeah

#arcane #arcane spoilers #arcane season 2 #arcane season 2 spoilers

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arc-misadventures · 2 years ago

Note

Thought of something...tasty for the Rebirth AU. How will Jaune react to seeing this universe's Cinder? Either young or after beacon

How about I do it in a slightly different manner~?

Those Amber Eyes

Jeanne: Hey, Jaune. What ya watching?

Jaune: Look for yourself.

Jeanne: Hmm? A video on, Atlas Specialist’s; Why would you watch a video about them?

Jaune: Look closely.

Jeanne: Hmm…?

Jeanne: …

Jeanne: Wait… That one with more red, then the other’s! I-Is that…?! No way…

Jaune: Yep, that there is, Specialist Cinder Fall.

Jeanne: She’s a specialist; Not some crazed homicidal maniac?!

Jaune: Nope, that’s my world’s, Cinder Fall. In your world she became a Specialist.

Jeanne: Wow… Was she any good?

Jaune: I don’t know… I only learned she was a specialist after I tore up the school, well your, Beacon I should say. So I don’t know if she good. But, I assume she would be, you have to be among the best of the best to be a, Specialist.

Jeanne: I remember that day. Man you wasted those guys. Shame I missed it, probably would have joined you in the chaos.

Jaune: You would of?

Jeanne: Hell yeah I would have!

Jaune: Okay… Why?

Jeanne: Oh, well I was sick of the guys; After you remoulded the courtyard with them, Rin, Nora, and I elected to have, Pyrros removed from our team, and had May take his place.

Jaune: You did that?

Jeanne: Yeah, we just got sick of, Pyrros, and Team RWBY’s antics, so we basically cut all contact with them afterwards.

Jaune: Was this all my fault?

Jeanne: No… No, no it wasn’t, well, maybe a little. But, you mostly just shinned a light on the problem.

Jaune: What was the problem?

Jeanne: A whole lotta stuff; The staring, the invasion of my personal space, the arguments over me. Ruben was the least troublesome one to deal with; He usually, just stared, and shadow me all the time. And, I mean, all the time. He never had a crush before so I don’t think he knew what to do. William, kept saying stuff like, ‘Imagine all the things we could do together with my families vast wealth.’ Basically he kept on trying to bride me with shiny stuff.

Jaune: Seriously; What did he think you were, some sort of hooker?

Jeanne: I should have gutted him like a pig… That little…!

Jaune: Whoops… Uhhh…? W-What about, Yin, and Blake, were they just as bad?

Jeanne: Oh those two were the worst! Blake kept trying to recommend those damn, Ninjas of Desire books to me! In hope to reenact those cheesy sex scenes!

Jaune: Saw that coming. And, Yin, what did he do?

Jeanne: He bombarded me with horrible, horrible sexual innuendoes, and third-rate pick up lines. The only jokes was him thinking those would work on anyone, much less me!

Jaune: And, what about, Pyrros; Why did you give him the boot?

Jeanne: …

Jeanne: Trust…

Jaune: Trust?

Jeanne: Yeah… The girls, and I started to stop trusting him after a while, we just didn’t feel comfortable around him anymore. He started glaring at anyone who got close to me, acting all possessive of me. He also started staring at me a little too much, trying to sneak a peak at me. I started changing in the bathroom to stay away from him. The final nail in the coffin came the day before you beat the crap out of the lot of ‘em up.

Jaune: What did he do to you?

Jeanne: Not to me, but to, Rin…

Jaune: Rin?! What did he do to her?!

Jeanne: He was trying to get her to kiss him. Kept pushing closer, and closer to her. Rin managed to keep him at a distance from her, and, Nora soon came, and Pyrros backed off, but, Rin was in a terrible state. Pyrros didn’t do anything to her, but the shock of what he was trying to do sent her semblance into overdrive. The three of us fled to, Vale for the day, and we went back to school the next day, we wanted to ask, Selma to have him removed from our team, and then you showed up.

Jaune: That bastard! I should have done more to him then break his aura!

Jeanne: Why do you think I wanted to be there.

Jaune: But, to do that to, Rin! She such a sweet, and caring girl. Why would he do that to her?!

Jeanne: I never asked, never really wanted to know why either. But, I think his persona of, The Invincible Man got to his head, and he started thinking stuff like, “I Pyrros Nikos, I can do whatever the fuck I want!” Fucking bastard… Would have preferred if he did that to me in all honesty, save, Rin the trauma of it all.

Jaune: And, because you would have flambéed him if he so much as touched you?

Jeanne: Hell yeah I would have.

Jaune: I would have liked to have seen that!

Jeanne: Yeah, me too.

Jaune: …

Jaune: Are you scared?

Jeanne: Scared, scared of what?

Jaune: Going to, Beacon, seeing who’s there? Considering we don’t know who’s going to be there, and all, you’re worried you might come across someone you don’t want to see again.

Jeanne: …

Jeanne: There are many people I want to see again… But, there are more people I hope to never see again. I can’t tell who might be here in this world. Sure, Pyrrha, and Salem are here. But, until we’re at, Beacon, anyone could be there! We won’t know if it’s Weiss, or William for at least two more years, and even if one of them is, Weiss, who’s to say, Ruben, or Yin aren’t here, instead of, Ruby, and, Yang! I don’t want them to be here, I want your Team RWBY, Pyrrha, and my, Rin. I want this to be the happier life you didn’t get to live. But, I don’t know what’s going to happen, and that scares me… I’m scared of what might happen, Jaune…

Jaune: I see… Tell me, what do you see in, Cinder’s eyes, Jeanne?

Jeanne: Cinder’s eyes?

Jaune: Yeah, what do you see?

Jeanne: Amber…?

Jaune: Besides the incredibly obvious; what can you see?

Jeanne: …

Jeanne: Pride… Pride in… In herself for becoming a specialist…?

Jaune: And…?

Jeanne: Hope…? Hope in what she can become, and could do for others…

Jaune: What else do you see?

Jeanne: Joy… She’s happy that she made it this far…?

Jaune: Pride, hope, and joy… I can see all of that, and more in her eyes. My, Cinder was filled with rage, hate, and sorrow… That’s all she ever had in her. But, this… This isn’t my, Cinder, she’s something else, someone else. I hope I can meet her one day, I’d love to get to know her.

Jeanne: W-Why are you telling me this?

Jaune: Because, Jeanne. No matter what it is, what we may find, and encounter; It can be that bad. We have no idea what we’ll face, but as long as we face it together, it can’t be that bad.

Jeanne: Jaune… You’re a hopeless goofball…

Jaune: True. But, still relax, Jeanne, we’re together in this, and no matter what comes, we’ll make sure we have a better life this time.

Jeanne: Promise?

Jaune: Arc’s promise.

The twins soon enveloped one another in a deep hug, as the stay on the couch to watch a movie.

But, unbeknownst to the twin, one figure stood hidden in the shadows, over hearing the tail end of their conversation. He smiled softly as he saw the pair comfort one another. But, his smile fell as those words his son spoke echoed in his mind over, and over again.

Acheius: ‘This life…’ What the hell do you mean by that, Jaune?

#rwby #jaune arc #jeanne arc #yang xiao long #blake belladonna #pyrrha nikos #nora valkyrie #weiss schnee #ruby rose #lie ren #acheius arc

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cas-readsandwrites · 2 months ago

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~~ Masterlist ~~

Thank you for stopping by! This blog and my writing projects are a giant work in progress since starting up writing again about six months ago. I don't keep a posting schedule though I do try to stick around and be active, but it comes and goes with seasons of life. Feel free to peruse, drop me a message, or suggest something new for me to read!

The Last Of Us

Lavender: Interludes

Set in Jackson post TLOU S1 in the Lavender universe by @justagalwhowrites, a few little scenes of Joel, Doc, and the fam in Jackson. Listen I am not pregnant, I have no desire to be pregnant, so I don’t know WHERE this came from, but I love soft Joel healing from his trauma and finding love and joy in his family! Many thanks to Kit for being totally cool with this fanfic of her fanfic and encouraging me to post! All character credit, plot, and setting to her. Content: Reader is described as pregnant. There is smut. And fluff. And love. Grab some ice cream and your heating pads if you’re in the same time of the month as me. Minors DNI. 3.6k words One-shot, complete.

Traipse - in progress!

For @justagalwhowrites Birthday Challenge for our favorite TLOU main character. Prompts: Nightmares and Feral Joel. Setting: TLOU HBO series, set within the period of 5-20 years after the outbreak. Characters: Joel x OC Female, Tommy, Tess. Projected length: 10k+ Author’s note: This is literally the worst birthday present I could give anyone. Content warnings for canon-typical violence, character deaths, suicidal ideation, substance use. It is not a happy ending. It’s gonna be kind of long. Someone toss me down a well after this. Credit to the lyrics of Traipse by Tremonti for story title and chapter titles 🖤 AO3 link

Welcome

Setting: TLOU, right after S1 finale, back in Jackson Characters: Joel x OC reader, Ellie Length: 2.5k Rating: This one is all-ages fluff (…for now?) Stands as a one-shot for now, might grow in the future!

[untitled] - prompted by a reblog *shrug*

‘Verse: TLOU, TV series, set before the show timeline Characters: Joel x Female Reader, only physical description is “not petite” so all you smol Joel lovelies can just imagine him effortlessly handling you. Length: 1.7k Rating: M, 18+ only, unprotected P in V, consent is sexy, practice safe sex IRL friends! One-shot, complete

The Mandalorian

Grogu's Dream - my very first fic shared here, dedicated to my subreddit friends and those who encouraged me to get back into writing and fanfic <3

Here

Setting: The Mandalorian, doesn’t matter when, Din exists, that’s all we need to know for now! Characters: The Mandalorian x female reader (AFAB, no mention of breasts) Length: 1.8k Rating: Minors do not enter! M for mature. Here be smut. That’s all it is. One-shot, complete

Prospect

To Leave The Green - Ezra & Cee, for @burntheedges roll-a-trope challenge prompt: groundhog day

Setting: Prospect. Set between the shootout where Ezra and Cee first meet and the end of the film… and how do we know it didn’t actually happen? That the Ezra we see in the film hasn’t already lived it a millenniary of times? “I like to think about what happens between what’s already been written, so I add new scenes sometimes, because then I get to spend more time in their world.” -Cee Rating: PG-13, not quite as bad as the movie’s R, less language, similar content. Length: 2k One-shot, complete AO3 link

Narcos - coming soon :)

Star Wars misc

May the Fourth challenge

‘Verse: Star Wars, Rebels, set within S2 finale Characters: Chopper, Kanan, Ezra Length: 1.4k Rating: PG Oneshot, complete

The Old Guard

Nile - in progress! newest Nov 4 '24

A slice-of-life dive into the characters' lives, following Nile's 3rd-person POV. Set immediately after the end of the movie and will stretch a few decades into the future as Nile settles into her new life and we see a glimpse of how the guard adjusts to gains, losses, and life between harrowing conflicts. There will be a few nods to the graphic novels throughout but this is mostly my "what happens next" after immediately finishing the movie. Part 2 of 3 up now! Rating: We'll stick with the movie's R for language, canon-typical action/violence. AO3 link

Originals

Bravery - poetry prompt from @arianathepoet : Write about someone who taught you to be brave; what does bravery mean to you and how did that person teach you to embody it?

Collections

@pascalsanctuary fics of the day

WIPs and sneaky-peekies

Upcoming Joel Birthday Challenge ; and more ; another

I Won't Leave You

If Javi Calls ; and more

WIP Tag Game

Nile's Story from The Old Guard

TLOU Music AU

#cas writes #fanfic #fanfiction #tlou #tlou fanfiction #star wars #star wars fanfiction #the mandalorian #joel miller x reader #writing #poetry #ezra prospect #din djarin x reader

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the-phoenix-heart · 4 months ago

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Right. so uh. The final season of TUA dropped

I don't know how to feel.

(All the Spoilers Ahead)

Like halfway through this season I would have said it's not what I would've done, but I liked it. I enjoyed it. I thought it was iconic. Maybe a bit of an overuse of the Babyshark song, but you know, not that bad.

But like after that I think I started to hate the season when I realized things weren't going to be explained.

Like there is good about the season don't get me wrong. It was funny. The acting was stellar. I don't hate the ending in principle (I'll get to it later). I don't hate most of the ideas in principle. But it's the little things that keep piling up and piling up.

Like we're at the end of the series and I still don't understand marigold or durango. SO much stuff went unexplained. Why was Jennifer in a squid? Why was she in Moldova in the original timeline? Does she have powers herself or is she just a person until she touches one of the marigolds? Are there 43 durango babies like there were 43 marigold babies? Presumably she was the only one because she was the only one Reggie was protecting, but in that case WHY was she the only one. And that's just all the questions I have about Jennifer. Not even getting into her role in the story.

Because yeah, as a character she's pretty much nothing. She's vaguely empowered. She's vaguely interesting. She vaguely something. I'm not against her as a character. That scene where her and Ben are watching The Blob in different rooms is moving and great foreshadowing in hindsight. But that aside she's just a plot device to help destroy the world this time around. After her and Ben have sex she's just there to be in pain because of the virus. At least we known Ben. I can believe Sparrow Ben and hers connection, even if I'm so glad their romance was mostly just a horny world ending virus. Seriously the moment Ben started talking to her in the diner I got love interest red flags and was so uninterested.

Sparrow Ben by the way is a draaaaag on this season. Look, it was probably the right decision to let Original Ben move on, even if I think Klaus should have been involved with it. But it means when season 3 happened they trapped themselves to Sparrow Ben, who is not as interesting a character as Original Ben and also has less of a connection to the original Hargreeves siblings. Like I get why Luther or Klaus are trying to spend time with Ben, but the rest? I don't. Which is why I guess he's so disconnected from them this season, and doesn't get the big ending moment with them (times like this I wish they had kept Ghost Ben around).

But of course at least Ben has things to do this season. Imagine being someone as useless as Luther? Luther spends the season being a himbo, not at all the leader he used to be, and a repository of sex jokes and sconce jokes. And we REALLY aren't looking at his issues??? He's living in the condemned remains of his childhood home and also the place where he fell in love with Sloane, and we're not going to talk about that???

And then there's Klaus...Klaus, Klaus, Klaus. It's tradition that Klaus kicks off a personal sidequest/subplot every season, but by GOD this was the worst one. Like, it's funny, in a dark sort of way, but it's also so POINTLESS. We really wasted precious time in this six episode season on Klaus being kidnapped by his former drug dealer, working as a medium for one customer who is looking to find her ex's money he hid, getting Kill Billed, and then getting rescued. WHY?! Why was Alison the only one who cared? Why didn't Abigail at least say something like, "Where's Klaus? I've been wanting to see him."

And he was so close to really finally getting his this season. His introduction this series showed that more than anyone he was effected by the loss of his powers-ie. being terrified of the world and falling back into his old habits so he's very careful about everything. He also gets to be Claire's fun uncle this season! And then after he is forced to get his powers back he is rightfully pissed and in a state of distress and it's really working. And then it's just...a funny sideplot I guess?

The sideplot's purpose I suppose is to properly redeem Allison after last season, showing she'll still do anything for her family, and I'm sorry but that was the WORST way to do it. Allison and Klaus have always been close with each other in every season, and only now are they saying it's kind of unhealthy. And ultimately it doesn't matter since it's just a footnote in the last episode. Like, this season treats her so weird. For someone who was pushing the plot along last season she really doesn't have much to do this season other than her relationship with Klaus. They don't even really address the whole Allison created another world for us thing, or how much she screwed them over last season (And I am NOT an Allison hater okay. I loved her arc last season. I just also think that they should acknowledge it more in this season). The six year time skip really is doing so much work to ignore the events of last season.

And then there's Viktor. Who is both doing a lot this season and coming out looking like he's doing nothing. He's just kinda there for a few episodes, they imply he has commitment issues and then do nothing with that (I guess it's just meant to point out how awful this new timeline is?), and up until the flashback with him asking to go on the mission and being turned down, as well as the mission with Reginald I kinda kept forgetting he was there. Which is not something you want to do for your actor who gets top billing and is arguably the most important character in the series.

But of course he isn't the most important character this season. Which means it is finally time to talk about the clusterfuck in the room.

Let me just say, I kinda get what they were going for. Lila would be uncomfortable with being a housewife and would need an escape, and her and Five have been set up as connected since the second season so it's not impossible that she would try something with him, and it's not even that creepy from a Watsonian point of view because he's in his sixties and by the time they do anything he's in the body of a 24 year old at least; and from Five's point of view he is an incredibly lonely guy who has no real purpose in life anymore and is still a man out of time so it's not impossible that he might look at Lila as a person for that connection he's been missing since Dolores and yet-

My body STILL cringes at the sight of them.

Like, what should have happened logically is they kiss and then the two recoil in revulsion and talk about how much of a mistake that once and how gross it is. And yet the season tries to string us along with this awful love triangle.

And let's be clear it is not awful for Five. You can call it character assassination for him, personally I don't agree with that, but the framing makes it out that Five is in tragic love with her. Like they could have had a happy life together in that cottagecore universe, but OH the trappings of their universe kept them from it. Five ends the season as the most important character who has the answers and has to tragically give them.

I don't hate the diner with all the other Fives. I don't hate him traversing the multiverse for answers. I don't hate Five in this season, even if it is out of character for him to abandon a mission like that (He spent 50 years in the apocalypse trying to get home he wouldn't give up after SIX). I do hate what it does to Diego and Lila's characters.

It makes sense for Lila to be uncomfortable with suburban life. It also makes sense that Diego is uncomfortable with suburban life. At the same time it makes NO sense. Honestly the roles should be reversed, Diego should be putting all his time into being a full time parent and Lila should have the money making job, that makes more sense for their characters. Diego may be obsessed with heroism, but he also is obsessed with the ideals of family and taking care of them, it doesn't make sense for Diego to be so distant from them. Hell in the end LILA is the one with the big family moments, Diego doesn't even say goodbye to them I think. Diego's character is warped to fit this love triangle subplot they concocted and it REAKS. I HATE it. To make Five look like a viable option they have to make Diego this weird deadbeat-ish out of shape dad which makes NO SENSE.

And Lila is so hard done by the subplot because it controls her motivations. Why would Lila of all people choose to be a stay at home mom? I like that she's still disguising herself and doing her own thing on the sly, but she could do that even if she had a job. She's still a fun character, and I like that they played up her loyalties. I like the scene at the end where she almost dooms the world to stay with her family, but of course FIVE has to talk her down from that decision not her HUSBAND. Because her connection with Five is somehow more important than her connection with Diego that has been built up after three seasons.

And that's not to say anything about the small details that ruin this season for me. In no particular order-

The absence of Ray was the first major red flag for me. I guess he might've been unable to play the role this season so they just wrote him out of the show or they didn't know how to write him into it so they just said he ran out on Allison and Claire. Either way I hate it. Ray was such a good character in season 2 and I know this timeline is supposed to be kinda shitty, but that is doing Ray as a character so dirty, and Allison as well seeing as Allison and him were married and happy in season 2.

The absence of SLOANE. Did Luther not go trying to find Sloane in this new world? Did he just give up? He keeps mentioning her so why didn't he DO anything. Why didn't Sparrow Ben try to find his siblings???

I shouldn't still be mad about the absence of Dave, but I in fact am. His absence in season 3 was already conspicuous (the timeline had already changed with Dave enlisting earlier than expected and Klaus not being with him in Vietnam, who's to say he couldn't have still been alive in that timeline?) but the fact that he's not in this timeline either is so fucking sad for Klaus. Maybe him and Dave were soulmates, maybe they weren't, but the show sure treated it like they were. I know that the ending of the show is meant to be tragic, but we couldn't have THIS?

Seeing as Lila's family is alive in this timeline, why do none of the Hargreeveses have their biological families?

And let's talk about that ending shall we? Again, I get what they were going for. The ultimate sacrifice together as a family. The idea that they were so dangerous their existence was parasitic to the universe. The idea that after death they're still there as a couple of marigolds. It's sweet.

It's also FUCKING STUPID.

I might've been happy with the ending if Gene and Jean had been included being happy. I might've been happy with the ending if Eudora was there. I might've been happy if Dave or Harlan were there. As it stands none of them were there so that ending is already terrible to me, but it means I have no problem ripping apart the fabric of the ending.

Firstly, any story that says there is only one timeline is boring. Any story that says there is only one timeline and that timeline is normal is worse than boring, it's just plain stupid.

The idea that the Hargreeves are destined for an eternal tormenting cycle of destroying and saving the world is, at best, deeply nihilistic. I think it fails to understand that the end of the world could probably be avoided with therapy. But if we really take that as the gosphel then here is a bright idea, how about you spread all of them out across the timeline so they can't come together and end the universe? Then you still get a sacrifice without that horrible one timeline outcome.

That's another thing that makes no sense. So what, the way to make the one true timeline is that in one timeline Lila, Five, Diego, Luther, Klaus, Viktor, and Allison have to sacrifice themselves Cleanseiffer and that fixes everything? When there are countless alternate universes where they still have the marigold?

The refusal to acknowledge all 43 marigold children has always been a thorn in my side, but I really felt it this season. This would've been the perfect time to include all of them. Hell, maybe use the subway system and the other Five's to send the message that they need to give up their marigold. THAT would have been evocative.

Or, I dunno, don't kill everyone. Maybe if you're going to do the durango/marigold plot then maybe have a bunch of durango children to parallel the marigold children. Have them be their equal and opposites to really nail down that whole yin and yang thing you TRIED to give Jennifer and Ben. Just something, god, anything rather than what you gave us.

#and that's over two thousand words on Umbrella Academy season 4 #these thoughts are incredibly disjointed/stream of conscious/and first draft #i just had to get it all out because i'm SUPER disappointed #the umbrella academy #tua #tua spoilers #umbrella academy spoilers #tua season 4 #umbrella academy season 4

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shiorimakibawrites · 1 year ago

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Fantasy (Part 9 of Alley Cat)

Image Credits: kissthemgoodbye.net / Amber Kipp / Nathan Dumlao

Pairing: Matt Murdock x fem!Reader

Word Count: 3108

Summary: Reader is feeling anxious about upcoming discussion with Daredevil and needs to relax.

Warnings: MINORS DNI - EXPLICIT SEXUAL CONTENT. Masturbation. Vaginal Fingering. Fantasies about oral sex (female receiving and male receiving), penis in vagina sex, and implied unprotected sex. Reader being anxious.

Can also be read here. The Masterlist for this series can be found here

Author’s Note: While trying to write the conversation between Reader and Matt, the muses informed me that was another chapter before that one could happen. A chapter involving smut. I have never written smut. I've read it. Never written it. Until now. Hopefully it isn't terrible. I now have increased respect for writers of smut. It is (hee) hard.

Fantasy

by Shiori_Makiba

You were waiting for Daredevil (who was probably Matt Murdock) to show up. At least you thought he would be visiting you tonight. There was no way to know for sure. It wasn't like you had set up a meeting with him. You just assumed that he would want to have a discussion with anyone who had discovered who he was under the mask.

Assuming you hadn't completely misinterpreting everything. You were pretty sure that you hadn't. He hadn't been subtle with his hints. At all. The only way he could have less subtle was if he had walked in and said 'I am Daredevil.'

You were ninety-nine percent certain that Daredevil and Matt Murdock were the same person but that little sliver of doubt was enough for anxiety to latch onto and make you start second-guessing yourself.

There were reasonable explanations for every hint or clue that didn't involve Murdock being Daredevil. Yes, all of them together stretched plausibility but sometimes improbable things happened. Ten years ago, if you had been asked if it was possible for a World War II soldier, a billionaire, a monster, an archer, and a lady assassin to stop an alien invasion, you would have said it was not. And yet, that is exactly what happened.

The biggest thing that was making your brain run in circles was simply that it was a very serious accusation to make. An accusation for which you had absolutely no proof. Your case was built entirely on guesswork, assumptions, and personal opinion. Any defense attorney worth their salt would able to shred it to pieces with ease.

If you were wrong, the best case scenario was that Daredevil and Murdock would find your crazy theory that they were same person to be funny. You'd be embarrassed but everyone would have a good laugh and move on. Worst case scenario? Daredevil would be offended that you would accuse his blind friend of breaking the law and violating his oaths as an attorney. He ends your friendship and you never see him again outside of the news. And you would need a new legal team because such accusations would be completely justified grounds for them to sever the attorney-client relationship with you.

You tried to distract yourself from such anxiety-fueled thoughts.

You started with Houdini. Who deserved some extra attention anyway. He gladly accepted a session with the fishing pole toy. It was always fun watching him chasing after, jumping at, and pouncing on the dancing ribbons. When he started to tire, you put the toy down and gave him some treats.

Feeling more relaxed, you made yourself comfortable on your couch and decided to continue reading your book. A fantasy romance novel that you had picked out because the swashbuckling hero in the cover art resembled Daredevil from his The Man In Black days. The plot was a little formulaic but you liked the characters and the sex scenes were steamy.

And honestly, it was far less embarrassing than the other novel you had recently purchased. A superhero romance whose half-demon hero the Red Devil was very obviously inspired by Daredevil. You hoped Daredevil never found out that you had read it. And it's two sequels. And pre-ordered the fourth and final book in the series. Because you had gotten invested in the story. And the sex scenes were really hot.

As soon as you started reading, Houdini made himself at home on your lap and started bumping your hand with his head. You took the hint and starting petting him with one hand while holding your book with the other. It didn't take long for him to start purring and then fall asleep.

You thought you had successfully headed off that anxiety spiral until the sun started to go down and that discussion with Daredevil became imminent. Soon you were too anxious to sit still and had to get off the couch. Houdini appreciated neither being woken up from his nap or being moved when he was comfortable. Which he informed you of. Loudly. Before curling up in the warm spot you had been laying in and going back to sleep.

You started pacing around the apartment and knew you were too keyed up. You needed to relax. Normally you would cook but the marinara in the slow cooker didn't need anything except to be turned to the keep warm setting. You already had enough homemade pasta in your freezer to feed several people. Which also had an ample supply of soups, sauces, and other make-ahead meals for the upcoming week. And then some. You always seemed to make too much food for one person. Granted your friends were usually happy to take your overflow. Especially Jo since she can't boil water without burning it.

Maybe that was for best. You were jittery enough that maybe handling a knife was a bad idea. Kneading bread dough was great stress relief but you were still working through the results of your last stress induced baking spree.

You needed something else. Maybe a shower? A shower sounded good. It had a lot of benefits. It would relax you. And ensure that you didn't stink when the man with the bloodhound nose showed up. Mind made up, you headed for your bedroom to grab some fresh clothes.

You were debating about what to wear – what was the appropriate attire for secret identity discussions – when your eyes landed on your copy of The Red Devil. Which was on the floor along with a couple of other books that had been in the bookcase. The cleared out space was suspiciously Houdini sized. You rolled your eyes. It seemed that you had found his new napping spot which rotated every couple of days and had included the places like the breadbox on the kitchen counter. And the molded shelf in the shower stall. His favorite seemed to be your underwear drawer. And like with the bookcase, he wasn't afraid to dump some of your panties on the floor in order to make room for himself.

You picked up the fallen books and stacked them in another spot in the bookcase. There was no point in putting them back in their shelf until Houdini got bored of napping there. He would just push them off the shelf again. Looking at the cover art of the Red Devil books with its titular hero in skin-tight red leather, you couldn't help thinking about your vigilante in red leather and Kevlar. You blushed a little remembering how many times you had re-imagined the sex scenes with Daredevil instead of Red Devil and yourself instead of the journalist heroine. The memory alone was enough get you a little worked up. Which only made you blush harder.

You shook your head and decided firmly that you were at least going to be comfortable during your potentially awkward conversation. Besides he already been exposed to your sleep wear. It wasn't going to horrify him now. So you grabbed a pair of thin sleep pants and an oversized tee shirt along with clean underwear and socks. Then headed for the bathroom.

After depositing your clothes on the counter, you reached into the shower stall and twisted the knob. With a loud hiss, the shower sputtered to life. As you waited for the water to heat up, you stripped out of your slacks, blouse, panties, bra, and socks. You tested the water but it needed another minute. Which left you with nothing to do but stand there naked in the rising steam and think.

Your mind tried to retread the same anxiety-filled spiral but you pushed away those thoughts. You were supposed to be relaxing. You needed to think of something else. Anything else.

The something else your brain finally settled on as you entered the shower stall and slide the door shut was sex. Specifically sex with Daredevil . . .

You flushed and tried think of something else. You needed to be able to look Daredevil in the eye tonight, possibly very soon if he decided to talk to you before his patrol, and that would be impossible to do if you had just been picturing him naked and getting off to it. The fact that Daredevil was probably Matt Murdock who was blind and (probably) wouldn't know that you were avoiding his eyes was irrelevant.

But your brain had decided on what it wanted to latch onto next. And that thing was imagining Daredevil naked.

His Daredevil suit wasn't skin tight but it fitted his body close enough to give your imagination a good starting point. You pictured broad shoulders, solid pecs, and abs that you could bounce a quarter off that tapered into a trim waist before flaring out into the finest ass on the East Coast. Possibly the world. Thick thighs that would encourage your legs apart whether you were on your back or straddling his lap. Powerful arms that could easily hold you up against the wall or pin you down the bed. And, through it might be setting you up for disappointment later, a big dick, long and thick enough to make you feel the stretch when he entered you, that you would feel full when he was inside you.

Your cunt began to throb with need just at the thought of him being inside you. You leaned against the wall of the shower, hissing as the coolness of the tile touched your warm skin. Using your back to brace yourself against the wall, you spread your legs. You reached a hand and was unsurprised to feel that you were already wet. What surprised you was just how wet you already were. You gasped when your fingers grazed your clit and began to rub gentle circles.

You pictured a kiss. One that started out like the one of your cheek. Just the gentle press of those soft, pink lips against yours that soon deepens into something firmer, something hungrier. You imagined those hands, rough with calluses, roaming over your body. Followed by his lips, creating a trail of fire with alternating kisses and little nips down your neck to the tops of your breasts. The light scrap of his beard scuff causing the skin to sing with sensation that would leave you squirming against his body.

You started moaning his name as your fingers increased their pace on your clit, picturing those clever fingers teasing your nipples until they tightened into stiff peaks. You would cry out when he latched onto one of the stiff peaks and sucked, arching your back to press more of your breast into his mouth.

You whined as your cunt clenched around nothing. You slide the fingers of your other hand along your soaked slit, coating your fingers in slick. You started panting as those fingers rubbed against your entrance and then began to dip inside. Soon you were pumping that finger in and out. It felt so good but not enough. You wanted more. You needed more. You quickly worked in a second finger. Which was better but you wished it was his fingers, thicker than yours, that were inside of you. But you made do and once you had a rhythm, your other hand resumed rubbing clit.

Soon the tension inside of you began to coil tighter and tighter . . . until it shattered as you came with a guttural moan. Legs trembling, you slide down the wall to sit on the floor of the shower. You felt more slick coating your thighs as your cunt clenched and twitched. You leaned your head back, closed your eyes and tried to catch your breath.

Well, you were definitely more relaxed now. And as much as you would like to sit there and enjoy your post-orgasm bliss, you needed to finish cleaning yourself before you ran out of hot water. You pushed yourself up onto still wobbly legs and reached for the soap . . .

*****************************************************************************************

Matt hadn't been trying to be a voyeur. Honestly. He had come to your apartment with the intention of speaking to you before starting his patrol. Otherwise he would be distracted and being distracted while fighting would lead to injuries. Which would annoy Claire who had been running off her feet caring not only for the civilians at her hospital who had been injured during Tuesday's attack but also the vigilantes who had responded. He made a mental note to talk to Danny about buying her a day at the spa or something. Didn't want her thinking that they didn't appreciate all of her hard work.

Furthermore, especially after his stunt at the office today, if he showed up at work tomorrow injured because he was distracted by a pretty girl, Foggy might actually kill him.

At first, his timing had seemed perfect. He had caught Houdini in the act of making his way down the fire escape. The cat made a spirited attempt to evade capture but ultimately failed. Not that he accepted his defeat quietly as Houdini immediately started monologuing at him. And squirming as soon as he started to scale the fire escape.

Which rather distracted Matt as he didn't want to accidentally drop your cat. A fall from this height could be lethal. Which would upset you greatly. He knew how much you loved your cat. Such an occurrence would also upset him as Matt had grown rather fond of Houdini.

The result was that he didn't notice the situation until he was standing on the platform by your bedroom window. But once he did, he immediately froze and didn't even notice Houdini taking advantage of his suddenly slack hold to slip out of his hands.

The scent of your arousal hung heavy in the air, stirring his cock to life. He couldn't stop himself from inhaling deeply, his tongue from sweeping out to taste the air. He wished he was in the shower with you, his nose nuzzled against your neck. Filling his lungs with your pheromones and the sweet, sweet smell of your body getting wet for him.

Or even better, laying you down on the counter and burying his face in your cunt. He wanted to feel the muscles in your thighs twitch and tremble under his hands as he licked up your slit. To hear your panting moans as he lapped at and sucked on your clit. Or started fucking you with his tongue. He hoped you would pull his hair, gripped tightly in your hand, as he drew you closer and closer to release . . .

Then he heard something that only made his twitching cock harder. You started moaning his name. Daredevil at first but soon you were also panting out Matt. Confirmation that it was him you were fantasizing about while you touched yourself . . .

It took more willpower than was pretty to leave. And even more to stop listening to you get off. One day, he promised himself. One day, if you agreed to it, he would replicate this moment but this time, he would get to participate as something other than an accidental voyeur. One of a growing list of fantasies that he hoped you would be agreeable to fulfilling someday.

But not today. Regardless of the outcome of your discussion tonight, sex wasn't happening. He wasn't going to fuck you without taking you to dinner first. He had at least that much class.

His patrol was going to be delayed. He was even more distracted now then he was before. His erection was refusing to be willed away. His cock knew what it wanted. To be buried in your sweet cunt, to feel you gripping him tightly with each thrust until he spilled himself inside you. It would have to settle for his left hand.

Once back to his apartment, Matt wasted no time stripping off his suit and pushing down his boxers, hissing with relief at the cool air on his aching cock. Your apartment wasn't very far from his but it was long enough that the silk of his boxers rubbing on his erection was starting to make him oversensitive. That same sensitivity made him sit on his impatience and retrieve the lube. It didn't smell anywhere near as good as your slick but it would have to do.

“Fuck,” he grunted as he gripped the base of his cock and began to stroke the length. He tried to imagine that it was your hands wrapped around his cock but the sensation wasn't right. Your hands were smaller than his. Softer too. He vividly recalled the feel of your hand against his when he shook your hand after signing the retainer agreement as well as your cheek under his lips.

He was looking forward to discovering if the rest of your skin was just as soft. How your curves would feel under his hands. How your breathe would hitch when he cupped your breasts or grabbed a handful of your ass.

The pace of his hand increased as his mind flicked between all the things he wanted to do with you. He wanted you to sit on his face. Gripping your hips as you moved against his mouth, chasing your orgasm. Licking and sucking you afterward until you are squirming and whining from overstimulation.

His hips gave an involuntary jerk at the thought. Another fantasy rose to the surface.

You on your knees in front of him sucking his cock. He groaned at the thought of his cock engulfed in the tight, wet mouth of your mouth. Your tongue licking his length and discovering every sensitive spot, teasing him until he begged for more. Your lips closing over just the head and sucking. Your nails digging into his thighs, the little pain adding a sweet edge to the pleasure you brought. Would you moan as he fought not to start fucking your face? Would you let him come down your throat? Would you keep sucking and licking after his release until he also started whining from overstimulation?

That did it. He swore as he began to cum, coating his hand and abdomen in a sticky mess. He worked himself until it was too much. He needed to be spent before he came near you again with your arousal lingering in the air. Or he might given into temptation and take you on your kitchen table. Even after all that, his cock still gave an aborted twitch at the thought.

He cleaned up himself and was getting the suit back on when he heard the first signs of trouble. He growled. Looks like your conversation would have to wait until after he put the fear of the Devil in some people.

Ending Notes:

The first romance novel Reader mentions is basically Stardust if Tristan was Zorro / Dread Pirate Roberts.

The Red Devil ones are basically a original novel version of Falling For The Devil (Daredevil fic by BellaGiornata here on AO3 – go read it. Yes, I know it is at current point 79 installments long. Read it anyway).

The Devil books are quite popular. There might be a screen adaptation in the works. And I may have cast Charlie Cox as the lead in said screen adaptation.

#daredevil #the alley cat series #fan fic #matt murdock x fem!reader #matt murdock x fem!reader smut

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kill-the-feels · 2 years ago

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stars

a/n: ahh everybody stay calm; it’s happening!! Here is the “final” chapter; the next one will be an epilogue of sorts!! Thanks to everyone who stuck around for the ride and I hope you enjoy!! <3 (previous part) (masterlist)

note: Jate’Kara is pronounced “Jah-tay’Kah-rah” — you can find more about my decision to include/create her in the end note for this chapter on ao3 if you’re interested!

word count: ~5.2k

warnings: angst, injury description, brief sex scene (not super descriptive, but stop reading after the last page break if that’s not your cup of tea), nightmares, tooth rotting fluff

Waiting is the worst part.

Gently, you coax the girl into going up to the cockpit, where Boba has gotten the ship into atmo and is waiting on directions.

He’s been crying too, you can tell by the tear tracks on his face, but he’s putting on a brave front, and he takes to telling the girl about the different buttons, even letting her push a few.

“What do they call you, anyways?” Boba asks, and the girl shakes her head.

“You don’t have a name?” you ask. Slowly, she nods and you sigh. It makes senes. Most people that end up like you and her on Tatooine don’t have families, and end up with whatever names or nicknames people give you.

“Can we give you one?” Boba asks. She nods again.

“Jate’Kara,” he says decisively. You tilt you head. It’s in Mando’a, a phrase you don’t recognize.

“What is that?” you ask. Boba’s cheeks and ears turn red, and he ducks his head.

“It means luck or good stars,” he says quietly. “I don’t know. I wanted something happy. It felt like it fit.” The girl leans forward, interested, and you smile. Jate’Kara is a mouthful, though, for people like yourself who only barely grasp Mando’a.

“How about Jate for short?” you ask, and she nods quickly, wrapping her little arms around your waist in a tight hug. That settled, you sit in one of the seats in the cockpit, between Boba and Jate.

Alright. You have two kids, an unconscious lover, and no clue where to go next.

You pull up a database, watching the way it spreads around the cabin, planets swirling around you. Jate watches with the same big eyes you remember having yourself the first time you saw something like this.

“What are we looking for?” Boba asks. You twirl your hands, moving the planets around. The blue mingles with the light of hyperspace, giving everything an ethereal glow. Well-known worlds skim past your eyes, as you zip through the Core and Inner Rim, heading for the Outer Rim.

“Somewhere off the gird. A backwater planet. Few civilizations for when we need supplies, but nowhere near as busy as Coruscant, or even Tatooine.” Boba clicks a few buttons, checking gauges on the ship.

“We need to stop somewhere else for some supplies and fuel anyways. We don’t have enough for a long haul, even through hyperspace.” You consider what’s near. Ord Mantell is the most likely option. Jango’s done business there before; the presence of his ship is not likely to raise too many alarms, especially if news has not yet traveled of his supposed demise.

“Fuel and extra supplies there, then,” you say. “And we can figure out where to go on the way.” ~~~

Ord Mantell goes smoother than you’re anticipating, perhaps because of all the challenges that have lead to this moment.

Jango stays stable, but he also shows no sign of change, a fact that is almost worrisome enough for you to find a more experienced person than yourself, but you decide that the less people who know, the better. He’s stable, and for now, that’s enough.

You also offer to drop Jate off, not really wanting to let the little girl be on her own in the world, but realizing forcing her to stay isn’t the best either.

It quickly becomes clear, though, that she has no interest in parting ways with you, staying instead right next to your side. So you take her in, which really, is the only logical conclusion for you.

When — not if — Jango wakes up, you’ll fight him on this if you have to, but you don’t think he’ll mind too much.

Jate sits beside you, eyes glued to the way hyperspace bends and moves around you, the blues shifting and folding over each other the same way the waves move. And yet, there’s an unnatural fluttering rhythm to hyperspace that can’t be seen in the waves, brief flashes of color poking out of the blue, the occasional shadow hinting at something larger there. You could spend hours watching, and sometimes, you do.

Boba shows you how to handle the ship — in hyperspace, it’s mostly just monitoring to make sure it stays on track — and the two of you take shifts, sleeping, watching Jango, and piloting.

You’re making a cross-galaxy journey to a backwater moon in the Outer Rim that has no name; its planet’s inhabited only by a few rudimentary civilizations. The perfect place for a legend to disappear.

When you stopped in Ord Mantell, you took a moment to catch up on the news that has started spreading through the galaxy, in the wake of the Battle of Geonosis.

War, they’re saying, and two million men to fight, each who look exactly like Jango and Boba. It’s chilling.

This. This is the project Jango has been working on for years, why the Kaminoans needed his DNA, why they did their best to listen to his demands.

You don’t know much about the science behind it, but you figure eventually, they’ll need more. All the more reason to disappear.

The door whooshes open slowly, and Boba enters, rubbing the sleep from his eyes. He’s exhausted. You all are.

“Want me to take it for a little longer?” you ask him. He leans against your side, and you wrap your arms around him.

You’re to the point where you don’t tell him to take it easy. He’s stubborn that way, not wanting to be seen as weak — even if you would never tell him that. And to an extent, you get it. The need to be busy, to seem like you’re doing something, when really all you can do is wait.

Always waiting, the same way it’s been since Boba was a baby.

Now, you’re even more glad for Jate. She doesn’t talk, but Boba more than makes up for it, the two of them getting along from the start. Boba offers a running commentary on everything he’s doing, and Jate listens intently, watching until she can replicate it, becoming his shadow. She’s the friend he needs right now, letting him feel like a teacher and a helper.

“I got it,” he says, patting your arm before he pulls away. He tugs on Jate’s braid as he sits in the pilot chair, checking the nav system.

“About one standard rotation out now,” he calls as you descend the ladder to the cargo bay and crew bunks. He must make a face or something, because Jate’s quiet giggles follow his words.

“Wake me if something happens,” you call back, even though you don’t intend to get much sleep.

You do the same thing you always do first.

Stop by the bacta tank.

Jango looks the same as when you put him in there, except the wounds have started to heal. The burn on his neck is no longer deep and ragged, instead a pink that you have a feeling will always be there. Bacta can only heal so much, after all.

The wound in his chest is the same, healed shut and still scarred. But his breathing is deeper than it has been, which you take as a good sign. His arm has fared the best, still missing his hand, obviously, but much less burned and the scarring is nearly invisible.

He just won’t wake up. And you can’t figure out why. You’ve tried everything you can think of, and still have no answers. Other than Jango just being stubborn.

“Me again,” you say, pulling a crate over to sit on. As usual, there’s no change. But you’ll be damned if you’re not going to try. After all, you can’t help but think of all the times he’s sat by you when you were sick or hurt.

“I could really use some help here. I mean, don’t get me wrong — the armor? Surprisingly comfortable. But I’m kind of flying by the seat of my pants here — figuratively speaking of course — and I could really use another adult to bounce stuff off of.” Sometimes, you feel guilty for having to rely on Boba like you do. He’s grown up so much and so fast in such a short time, that you wonder if you’ll ever see the innocent child again, or if that’s something else Geonosis took from you.

You fiddle with the clasp on the vambrace. The armor stayed carefully hidden on Ord Mantell. As far as the galaxy is concerned, Jango Fett is dead. Lost to dirt of Geonosis. But on the ship, it’s become like a second skin. It gives you a commanding presence, makes you feel more capable than you probably are.

And oddly, it’s like a piece of him, still watching over you.

“So anyways,” you say. “I’m sure you’re having the best sleep of your life. But when you’re ready, I’d love for you to rejoin the land of the living.” Taking a deep breath, you forge on, determined to say the words that have been stuck in your throat for so long.

“By the way,” you whisper, “I love you. So don’t even think about dying on me.” You close your eyes and lean your head on the tank, intending to stand up and get some sleep in the bunks.

Instead, you fall asleep like that. ~~~ Jango is fairly sure he’s dreaming. For one, Boba is too young. A smiling baby that can’t talk yet, much less fight.

You’re in the distance, but his mind can’t make the scene work, because it’s outside, and it’s sunny and green, but he can still hear the Kamino waves, getting closer and closer.

The tide tugs at his feet, and he makes the mistake of looking down.

“Boba!” It’s your voice, drifting on the breeze, and when he looks back up, Boba is old enough to run, towards you and away from him.

Jango reaches for him, and Boba dodges away with a laugh. He tries again, the frustration welling, fingers closing over nothing.

The both of you move away, over the hill, laughter echoing all around him.

Jango tries to pick up his feet and move; instead jerked backwards by the tide, the incessant tugging looking more and more like the white of the Kaminoans’ skin. He tries to beat them away, tries to shove himself free. It pulls him flat on his back, the water rushing into his mouth when he tries to call out to you.

A warning, maybe? To let the two of you go? While he still can?

The waves caress and tug, pulling him deeper and deeper, the sounds around him slowly fading away. There’s an incessant beeping instead, reminiscent of the chrono that used to rest on his bedside table, the one he bought after you started sleeping in his bed with him, when it made it even harder to get up.

It’s slow and rhythmic though, bordering on relaxing, if not for the high pitch. Slowly, consciousness eases into his mind, the static in his ears gradually fading, until everything goes still.

Quiet.

There’s a muffled voice talking, and his mind works to understand the syllables, interpret the cadence. It’s your voice, he realizes, speaking to him.

He tries to force his eyes open, but they stubbornly stay closed, his mind already exhausted. Frantically, he wracks his brain, trying to figure out what chain of events led to this situation.

Is he dead? No, he decides. Unless, he realizes with a burst of horror, that you’re dead too. Jango forces himself to breathe calmly in and out, and he becomes aware of something heavy sitting on his face, pressing over his mouth and nose, like someone’s hand.

But it isn’t a hand, he realizes, because he can still breathe. But it’s filtered, the way his helmet normally is, yet it’s only on the bottom part of his face.

“I love you. So don’t even think about dying on me.” The words drift through the stillness, startling sharp in the quiet. Jango tries again to open his eyes, recoiling when a liquid starts to seep in. He gasps, squeezing them shut. Sleep starts to tear at the edges of his mind, even as he fights it.

He’s not ready. He needs to reassure you. With another exhale, it goes dark again. ~~~ The next time he wakes up, he thinks he’s underwater. No, he knows he’s underwater.

His eyes adjust to the slightly salty sting of it, and he takes stock of his situation.

It’s not water, he realizes squinting above him. It’s bacta. Which leads to all sorts of questions.

Like how in the fuck did you procure a bacta tank? He turns his head as far as he can — which isn’t much — before there’s a searing pain in the side of the neck, the mask moving with him.

He narrows his eyes as he tries to peer through the tank. He’s fairly sure he’s still on the ship, which is a plus. Jango wants to close his eyes, to recall the events leading up to this, but he’s afraid closing his eyes will knock him out again, and he isn’t ready.

With an exhale, he stares at the ceiling of the tank above his head. Geonosis. The Jedi. Boba.

The lightsaber.

On instinct, he reaches for his right hand with his left, grasping nothing but air.

Well. That’s new.

His left hand drifts up to his neck, where he was certain the saber landed next.

The skin is rough there, a slight dip telling the story better than words could. It’s strange to realize how close he came to losing his head — literally. How quickly it all would have been over.

He sucks in a breath through the mask, and an odd ache twinges in his chest. From his position on his back, he can’t see the damage to his chest. He vaguely remembers being stomped by the Reek. The crack of his ribs, but this is something more.

Almost… almost like a blaster shot.

He’s taken a few before, but always glancing blows, and often against the armor. Never through the armor and center mass. That’s a startling realization, he decides. Just how close to death was he?

He can’t remember anything after that.

His heart rate speeds up, and he forces himself to calm down. Claustrophobia is starting to set in, and he wants out. He wants answers. He wants… he wants you. ~~~

When you land on the moon, it’s raining.

You and Boba look at each other, the both of your faces twisted in disbelief, mouths slightly open.

And then the two of you laugh. Because of course it’s raining. Jate looks on in wonder, likely having never seen rain or such fertile land before. Hell, you have, and you’re still struck by the wild, untamed beauty.

Together, you and Boba navigate the ship to a clearing. On one side, there’s a patch of woods, frightening looking right now in the dark and rain, and on the other, an ocean.

But unlike the oceans of Kamino, this one does not pass a certain point on the shore, the waves cresting at a normal height, even with the wind.

Carefully, the two of you set the ship down beside the woods, on grass that is a deep green even in the darkness.

Even though all of you are itching to get off the ship, you decide you’ll wait until morning, when it will at least be light. And hopefully less rainy.

And even though Boba is technically too old for it, you tuck both him and Jate in, the same way you used to. No one protests, needing this one quiet moment.

Without the sound of hyperspace or the sound of the systems running on the ship, it’s quiet. Eyes heavy, you drag your feet through the last of the shut-down checklist, having promised Boba you would take care of it.

You glance at the bacta tank, in the corner, knowing you need to check it, but unable to muster the energy to see the same old results.

What if he never wakes up? You push the thought out of your head, able to see the green light on the tank, indicating everything is nominal.

The morning. You’ll look in the morning, you promise yourself. ~~~

You wake up to birds chirping, a gentle breeze blowing against the side of the ship. Outside, the waves crash against the shore, in an unhurried rhythm, different from the giant swells that constantly slap against Tipoca city.

There’s faint laughter, and you peak through the window to see Boba and Jate playing tag on the shore, Ai-Ai resting on a nearby stump.

“Don’t go too far,” you call through the open ramp, and Boba waves his hand in acknowledgement, dodging out of Jate’s way. She stamps her foot in frustration, fists balled with a renewed effort to catch Boba. You know from experience, she won’t unless he lets her. You also know, he will let her. Eventually.

The tank beeps in the corner, the same rhythmic beeping it always has. The lightness you felt on immediately waking up dissolves as you approach the tank. It has to be done, you tell yourself.

Time to check on Jango.

You want to hope, to see a change, but you’re fully prepared to see closed eyes, a man just inches away from being a corpse.

Sure enough, his expression hasn’t changed. The lump in your throat grows. Even if you kept yourself from getting your hopes up too high, you know there’s a part of you that thought getting away would solve all this. That you’d land, and he’d spring up and take over, convince you it was all a bad dream.

You drop your forehead against the glass.

“I need to get busy,” you tell his form. “Too much to do now. Figure out how to get food, water. Check out some of the nearby civilizations. Convince Jate not to drown Boba.”

But you can’t tear yourself away; instead just laying there, staring at his face, eyes unfocusing and thoughts spiraling and catching.

In hindsight, that’s why it takes you so long to realize.

His eyes are open.

You fall backwards with a jolt, the scream catching in your throat, and thankfully so, because you don’t want Boba and Jate to come running yet.

His head turns a little, and even though it’s everything you have hoped for, there’s a part of you that can’t believe it. It’s eerie, how quiet it all is as the two of you stare at each other, separated only by the thin layer of transperisteel. There’s a rushing sound in your ears, and your chest is aching because you’ve forgotten to breathe.

Slowly, hands shaking, you reach for the decompression button, watching as the bacta drains down enough to make the tank safe to open.

You fumble with the latch, fingers slipping first and catching your nail painfully on the durasteel frame.

You heft the top open, gasping for breath now, and freeze, hand halfway reaching for his mask.

Jango snaps it off instead, his own hand shaking.

“Jango-”

“Cyare-”

And maker, it’s his voice, as deep and rich as you remember, soft accent rolling over you. He sits up with a grimace, and your legs unfreeze, rushing to his side.

“Careful,” you say, putting your hands on his shoulders to help. You’re not sure how healed he is, can’t afford to let him pull something. Your hands tighten on the bare skin of his shoulders, unable to believe how warm and alive he is.

“We almost lost you a couple times. It was bad.” He frowns, rubbing his hand over his face, wiping away the last of the bacta.

“What…” he trails off, and you can tell he wants to ask what happened, but can’t make himself say the words.

“You got hurt on Geonosis. It was bad. Boba and I got you back to the ship. Got this tank to try and save you. Stopped for supplies on Ord Mantell. Put down on the most remote moon we could find. I think you’ll like it.”

Footsteps bang up the ramp behind you, and you turn to see Boba and Jate rushing in, Ai-Ai strung between them like a rope. The both of them pass you, before Boba slams to a stop and Jate rams into his back with a soft oof. Ai-Ai falls to the floor.

“Buir!” Boba shouts, stumbling over his feet in his haste to get to you two. Jate follows, albeit slower, holding the hem of the back of Boba’s shirt.

“Either my vision is still messed up,” Jango says to you, “or you’re not telling me everything.” Your cheeks heat and you look at your feet.

“We stopped on Tatooine,” Boba says, “and picked up Jate.” You don’t miss the way Jango side-eyes you.

“Tatooine?” he says causally.

“Jate’s a fast learner,” Boba barrels on, missing the look his father gives you. “She picked up how to fly the ship super fast, and she’s really good at sabacc.”

“Gardulla had her,” you say softly, and watch the way his face softens, the understanding instant.

“It’s nice to meet you,” he says to her gently, and she steps out from behind Boba a little, her smile small but genuine. Your heart swells, moisture rushing to your eyes.

Boba is starting to shuffle around, and you can tell he’s getting antsy, wanting something to do.

“Boba,” you say, “do you want to go find some logs for a fire? That way we can cook something to eat.” The relief on his face at having something productive to do is instant, and he snags Jate’s hand, the both of them rushing out.

“Boba came up with her name,” you say, watching them go. “He called her Jate’Kara, and said it meant good stars. But I thought that was a little too long, so we shortened it. She and Boba are thick as thieves at this point. She doesn’t talk, but she’s so expressive, and-” You’re rambling at this point, don’t realize it until Jango lays his hand on your cheek.

“Cyare,” he says, “Tatooine?” You lean into his touch, closing your eyes and expelling a long breath.

“I needed a bacta tank. Kamino and Coruscant weren’t options. Gardulla can be bought for the right amount of credits. It worked. And seeing Jate… it was like looking at myself all those years ago.” You don’t tell him about Maswoni. Maybe one day you will, but right now it’s still to fresh, too complex to articulate.

“In my armor?” he asks, his eyes sweeping over your form. You duck your head in a nod.

“Boba’s idea. He said it made me look more intimidating, and then it just seemed smart to keep it on when I was on the ship.” His hand brushes down your cheek, finger curling around a strand of hair.

“It’s a good look,” he says, eyes falling to the prominent hole in the center of the chest piece. His hand moves to it, palm splaying over the hole, and by proxy, your chest.

“Thought we lost you,” you whisper. “It settled in your lungs.” You press your hand over his. He’s quiet for a long time.

“I thought I was gone too,” he says finally. “I- It’s all a blur, and I…” He trails off, hanging his head, looking down at his battered body for the first time.

“The thought of you two being caught in the crosshairs,” he says, shaking his head. You place your hands on his cheeks, lifting his gaze back you, careful not to strain his neck.

“Hey, hey, it’s okay. We made it. Everyone is fine. Jango. We did it.” The words sink in for the first time.

You did it.

You’re out.

He studies your face, eyes dancing between yours, roving over your face. With a soft groan, he tugs you closer, mouth finding yours. His arms wrap around your sides, pulling you as close as he can with the tank in the way.

He tilts your head back with his own, forehead pressing against yours, like he can’t stand to not be touching you.

“We did it,” he murmurs against your mouth, deepening the kiss until you’re panting for breath.

You pull back slightly, stroking the sides of his face.

“I love you,” you say, repeating what you told him when you were sure he couldn’t hear you.

His eyes squeeze shut, like he’s in pain, and he draws in a shaky breath.

“Oh, Cyare,” he whispers. “It’s always been you. Only you.” ~~~

Later, much later, you and Jango lay on a blanket under the stars.

Boba and Jate are asleep in the ship, and you lay with your head on Jango’s chest, listening to him breathe, feeling his heartbeat against your cheek.

Every time you touch him, it’s feather-light, as if you’re afraid holding on too tightly will break him again.

Jango traces his hand over your hip, slowly working it under the loose shirt — his shirt — that you’re wearing.

It strikes you again, just how warm he feels. You squeeze your eyes shut. You won’t cry anymore. You’re done with that.

His hand leaves your shirt and catches your own, bringing your fingertips up to his mouth.

Slowly, so slowly, he kisses them.

“What’s wrong?” he asks softly, and you swallow hard.

“Nothing’s wrong,” you murmur. And it isn’t. You suppose it’s just all the stress finally starting to melt away. The dissolving of the fear, the convincing your body that it can exit its fight or flight mode.

“Are you sure?” He shifts, so you’re laying face-to-face, because he knows you can’t hide your emotions well.

“I was so scared,” you finally manage, voice just barely above a whisper. He knows this. You’ve told him this.

“And I’m still trying to convince myself that I’m not scared. That I’m not going to wake up and find you gone. And I want to be gentle, so gentle because the last thing I want to do is hurt you.” But there’s a part of you that wants to feel him, real and solid against you. Only you can’t just say that. The words get stuck in your throat, tangling around themselves.

Jango nuzzles his nose along the hollow of your throat, lips lightly grazing over your pulse there.

“Can I tell you the truth?” he asks, and you nod, unable to speak over the lump in your throat.

“I was scared myself. Not for me, but for you and Boba. If anything had happened, knowing that I put you two in that position.” It kills you, the stricken way he looks at you.

“Boba and I both went willingly. You should have seen Boba, Jango. He was so brave.” Jango kisses the top of your hair.

“Just like his buir,” he murmurs, taking a long, deep breath, like he’s trying to memorize and savor every part of you. Something coils deep inside you, and you bite back a moan when he squeezes your ass.

“I don’t want to hurt you again,” you say. Jango’s hand trails down your leg, tugging it over his hip, opening you up.

“You won’t hurt me,” he says quietly. He finds your hand again and shifts, cupping it gently over his length.

He’s hard, a detail that sends a throb through you.

“Jango,” you whisper, any thoughts of protesting for fear of hurting him fading fast. He hums in agreement.

“I need you,” he says, voice rough. “I want to think about something else. Please.”

You kiss him this time. It’s soft, achingly gentle, as you run your hands up and down his sides and along his back, reacquainting yourself with the feel of him. He shifts, leaning over you.

Carefully, your shirt is tugged over your head, followed by his, so there’s nothing between you two but warm skin.

Your hand traces over the scar on his chest, barely visible in the starlit night, and he kisses along both your cheeks, wiping away moisture you didn’t even feel there.

The waves crash on the distant shore, an ever-present melody keeping you in the moment. Wind stirs the trees, bringing with it an earthy smell. You shiver and Jango presses closer, sharing his warmth, as he fumbles with the hem of your pants.

He gets them about halfway down your legs before he gives up, choosing instead to focus on kissing you as his hand slips between your legs. Jango caresses, and you keen against his mouth, distantly aware of kicking your own pants off, freeing your legs to wrap tighter around his waist.

Your hands drop from his shoulders, pushing at his pants, and he lets you, groaning against you when you finally get him in your hand.

“Fuck, Sweetheart, you feel so good,” he pants against you, jaw clenched as he tries to maintain control. Above the two of you, the stars paint a picture in an impossibly-clear sky, so different from Kamino, with its clouds threatening to choke out the few stars you could see.

Jango kisses your neck, burying a groan there when you squeeze him tighter, mouth moving down your chest, paying attention first to one breast, then the other. You cry out, arching into him, as his fingers find that particular sweet spot between your legs.

“Gorgeous,” he murmurs against your skin, hand covering yours as he lines himself up.

As he slots into you, he takes your hand in his, pressing it back against the blanket. You note the way his hands shake and you tighten your hand around his, giving him some of your strength.

It isn’t rushed. It’s slow, following the same rhythm of the waves on the shore. Every time you think he’s close, he seems to find a second wind. Slowly, it stokes a fire in you, until you’re nearly panting with the way he scrapes against you. You lose track of how many times you hit your peak, until finally, you’re nearly delirious with pleasure.

“Jango,” you murmur in his ear. “Come.” He shudders against you, shaking his head, as if he’s afraid this will all disappear when it’s finished. His head stays pressed against your neck, lips worrying a spot beneath your ear.

“Trust me,” you say, mouthing at his jaw before your own eyes screw shut in pleasure, the cry as you find your release echoing in the night.

You squeeze around him as you come. He finally gives in, managing one final thrust, staying buried in you as he finds his release, groan muffled against your neck.

After, he shifts onto his back, taking you with him, unwilling to separate just yet. You rest your head on his chest, tangling your legs in between his as his arms wrap tighter around you. Your eyes drift close, listening to the way his heart beat has slowed.

For now, you are the only two people in the whole galaxy. In the morning, there will be plenty of problems to solve, plenty of issues to deal with.

But for now, it is just you and Jango under the stars, listening to the calming of each other’s heartbeats and the steadfast waves.

#jango fett x reader #jango Fett x you #reader insert #angst #18+ scene #Fluff #Thanks for reading!! <3

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