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sixflame438 · 16 days ago

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Birthday Cake

Synopsis - The day before your birthday, Yunjin pays you a visit

Pairing - Kim Chaewon x Reader

Tags - Angst (not that sad tbh), established relationship, told from Yunjins perspective, Chae is only mentioned. Inspired by the song Birthday Cake - Dylan Conrique. Possible errors

Word count - 2799

“Hey. Howve you been? I hope lifes treating you well, wherever you are now.”

“Youre turning 23 tomorrow god youre getting too old for this world grandma.” Yunjin couldnt help but chuckle to herself from the irony of it all, knowing you werent getting any older and you never would.

“As per birthday tradition we made you a cake! Well Chaewon baked it obviously, you know i cant bake for shit. Youre probably laughing at me right now arent you? You werent any better either.”

“Remember that time actual firefighters had to come and save us from the mess you created? When you tried flambéing for the first time to impress Chaewon with a fancy home cooked dinner? But then ended up impressing everyone by burning down your kitchen?

Oh and remember that time when you tried baking bread but got distracted and left the loaf in for too long? It was like a black crunchy concrete brick. And then your dumbass tried eating it”

Yunjin recalled, cackling at the memory. “Man that was the best 10 bucks of my life, wiping her tears from laughing too hard.

“Fun times those were”

“Hey I helped decorate it though! We all did! Its a nice heart shaped cake in your favorite colour with ribbons and swirls of frosting to line the edges. We even cut and put on some of your favorite fruits. Youll see it tomorrow when Chaewon comes to spend the day with you.

Speaking of your girlfriend, or ex girlfriend now? i guess im not quite sure since you know youre not here but then again you never really broke up either so like honestly im just gonna say girlfriend because saying ex girlfriend makes the situation even sadder.

“So like anyway we spent half the day going around to places you both spent time together at. Im talking date spots, food places, things you liked to do together. I think she wouldve rathered go alone but i didnt feel right letting her go out half in a daze.”

“We went to the park where you two first met. Sat on the ledge of the fountain she pulled you out of, in the exact spot you gave her your number to repay her back for saving you. She didnt say much during the day, just a few words of how the moment you had together went. I think she was reliving it in her head, i cant even blame her.

We then went to the bakery coffeeshop you had your first date at, Chaes favorite one in the city. She ordered her usual, a slice of cake and a milkshake, apparently you two would always share those when you went.

The waiter recognised her and immediately put the order in with a nod, Chae didnt even need to say anything. I got a milkshake too, it was pretty good i can see why you enjoy the place.

Chae ate half the cake, drank half the shake and then left it, said that she was saving it for you. I think part of her still thinks youre here. Like she knows youre not, but she doesn’t want to believe it.”

“Did you know her milkshake came with 2 straws? Maybe the waiter thought id be sharing it with Chae but like i also got my own one so maybe the waiter thought youd be coming too. SHE definitely did. She kept going on about how we couldnt go yet because you werent there yet. It took her half an hour after before she left the cafe.

Your half of the meal is probably in the bin now, either that or Chae took it home with her. I dont really know, i stepped out and waited in the car. It felt like i was interrupting something. Didnt feel like crying in public either, at least in the car less people would notice.”

Yunjin doesnt say much after that, letting her thoughts take over and enter rumination. Its not until she hears the cheerful chirp of a robin that she snaps out of her reverie, wiping away a stray tear that had began to fall. Clearing her throat she continues to recount her day.

“Ahem uhm we also went to some other places, your favorite ice cream store by the pier, that one ramen place we found on a drunk night out, the tiny photo booth store in the mall with all the goofy accessories. You get the point though, places we made memories at, places where we had fun together. Now we’ll never get to.”

“At the end Chae had me drop her off by this flower garden. Im not quite sure why she wanted to go, she didnt say. She also didnt want me to go with her either. All i know is that theres a big duck pond inside, maybe you would know why.

And then I came here.”

Reaching into the bag she brought with her, Yunjin pulled out a medium sized box. Not too big, not too small and placed it on the ground in front of some flowers that were starting to wilt, evident by the dry outer petals and leaves. The box was covered in blue and white lined wrapping paper, topped with a golden ribbon bow and a tagged envelope attached by string.

“Oh and i brought you a present. Youd probably try emphasise how much you dont need a gift and that just being with you was enough but how could i not? Its your birthday. You and Chae can open it up tomorrow, i wont reveal the surprise just yet.

I wrote you a card inside too, i know how much you appreciate each one you get. I stumbled upon your box of old cards youve kept. Sorry i didnt snoop too far i promise, i stumbled across it when looking for clothes to steal borrow while you were out oops uh now you know but i got curious and took a lil looksies. Found the one i wrote to you 3 years ago, actually made me cringe i dont know why you kept that. Will also not understand how you managed to keep one from when you were 12 though. Like i cant even remember where i leave things the day of i cant imagine being able to keep something for that long. Real dedication you know.”

Theres a rustling of leaves in the air as silence stretches on, a slight breeze blowing past making the atmosphere of the graveyard even more chilling than it normally is.

“You know its funny, she visits you every weekend , half the time probably just to sit in silence, but you already knew that. After all your always here its not like you can leave, no matter how much anyone wishes otherwise.”

Leaning back onto her arms with her hands flat on the ground, Yunjin looks up into the sky wistfully, watching the clouds slowly drift across and a few broken leaves fall down beside her. Its strange how the clouds kinda look like your face a little.

“She still tells you everything right? Just like before? Ive never seen someone who Chaewon opened up so easily to. You cracked through her angry hardass exterior so easily we didnt even know that was possible. Everyone else had such a tough time trying to connect with her at the start, she was always so standoffish and judgy, in a bitchy way you know?

Yet you appeared and proved otherwise. Made us feel like fools. Her friends of multiple years outdone by some girl she had met a few days prior, we were all jealous as hell.”

“But youre not just some girl. Youre yn ln. The yn ln who made Kim Chaewon the happiest girl she could ever be. The love of her life. The one she wanted to marry and spend the rest of her days growing old and wrinkly with.

Yeah she wanted to marry your dumb gay ass, picked out a ring and everything, i was there when she brought it.”

The plan was to have a beach day with the gang, you love the beach. Spend the day in the sun and surf then at night we would have a bonfire going, roast some marshmallows, eat some smores and then while youd be busy distracted Chae would get down on one knee and propose. There would be flowers on the floor in the shape of a heart, there’d be fireworks to celebrate and light up the sky. It was just like in those cliche tv shows you guys liked to binge together.

After you said yes, because we all know you would, you two would spend time together on the beach, watching the waves roll in and stares shine bright in the sky. Just the two of you in the best place possible, the company of each other.

Chae had it all perfectly planned out and it was going to be the best day ever for everyone, not including your wedding day of course, but who knew just 2 days before that, you…well….Yeah.”

Tears begin to fight their way out of Yunjins eyes, the memory of the news weakening her composure.

“Chae regrets it so much, that she didnt propse earlier because even if you still had to go, youd still be closer to fully being together. The word girlfriend is weak when compared to ones like fiancée or wife but we all agree you guys were each other’s wives, hell you guys already acted like a married couple with the way you treated each other, the only thing you were missing was the official government title. Theres no denying you guys were great together though, you fit together like pieces in a puzzle.”

“She never told you about any of that did she? I wouldnt be surprised, I dont think she has the heart to tell you.

Not after it got shattered to pieces when we got the call. It broke her you know? You. Broke her. Though you know that. In fact youre probably beating yourself up for it too, it wasnt your fault.”

Salty water was now flowing freely from Yunjins eyes, the streaks leaving a stinging after effect that started to poke and prod at her face. Temporarily she loses balance as she cleans up the running tears with her sleeve, careful to be weary of her makeup. There was a reason she wore waterproof mascara today.

“I still see Chaewon holding your engagement rings sometimes. She would fiddle with both of them for a little bit before putting on her one. It would slide into place so smoothly and shed wiggle her fingers and admire the ring as if it was the first time shed seen it.

It really does look natural on her, sits so well on her finger like it was meant to be. Yours is absolutely beautiful as well, i know youd love it. Maybe one day she’ll let you see it.”

Theres another moment of silence before Yunjin continues, hesitation evident in her voice.

“I know its probably selfish and cruel to ask of this, but could you do me a favor?”

“Could you loosen the hold you have over Chaewon? Im not asking you to make her forget, id never wish that for anyone and i definitely dont want to forget you either but please, set her free.”

“We both know shes never really going to, shes too attached, but encourage her to let go a little, tell her that shell be alright even if youre not here physically, let her know that no matter what happens you will always be by her side supporting her. All she ever does now is work, stay home or visit you. I know its not much different from what she did when you were still here but she doesnt even go out anymore. No matter how hard we try.

We did manage to get her to go on this date with this girl but not even 5 minutes in she ran out crying because all she could think about was you and how being on that date was like betraying and cheating on you. And we both know you hated cheaters.

It doesnt matter if Chae ever finds a new person or of she stays alone for the rest of her life clinging to your memory, i just need her to be happy. Maybe itll never be the same as it was before, but i cant keep going on seeing her like this.

She doesnt talk much and she doesnt even cry much anymore, i think shes run out of tears, just sits staring out into space. Its always silence with her now, she doesnt even get angry for fucks sake what happened to our angry cheetah? Shes lost all the fire she ever had in her, its still in there, it has to be. But, im not sure if we will ever see it again.”

Theres a much longer pause now before she speaks again, breaking the sullen silence with an equally solemn tone. Snorts and sniffles accompany her now hoarse voice, the crying between speaking taking its toll.

“Im sorry for not visiting earlier, i know its been almost 9 months since youve left, but to be honest i couldnt bring myself to come.”

“Its not the same anymore. The group cant do some the things we all used to do together. Anytime you get mentioned Jimin starts crying, Ryu gets mad and starts yelling before she also starts silently crying, she doesnt think we know, Yujin just gets up and leaves without saying anything and Chae just goes still and silent. Its like we cant even talk about you as a group anymore because everyone just goes quiet, trapped in the memories of the past or the moments of what could be.”

Running her hands through her hair, Yunjin lets out a frustrated gasp of air, clearly not a fan of how things have become. Her eyes closed tightly as if it would suppress the multitude of emotions she was feeling in the moment. If Yunjin had been standing shed be pacing back and forth right now.

Sigh “Ah its been more than an hour already” she says as she looks down at her phone. “Im really sorry that i have to cut this short, i wouldve been talking to you longer if i hadnt just sat in my car for so long, it really is inexcusable since i haven’t even visited before but im meeting my girlfriends parents for the first time today at dinner. Im quite nervous about it because what if theyre unwelcoming and dont like me? Or what if theyre not open to their daughter dating someone elses daughter? I really hope it goes well.

Oh my god i never told you about her. Im so sorry that i left it to this late to mention something as important as that. Youd be grilling me for details right now if you were here. Her names Kazuha Nakamura, came from Japan. Shes so calm, so so sweet and an absolute angel. She carries herself with so much grace like a princess of royalty but shes so unserious she could never actually be one if she tried. Also really funny without even trying, you two would’ve gotten along so well.”

“Zuhas also really understanding, helped me cope and get through you leaving, one of the main reasons I was able to keep going despite everything actually.”

“I really think it might work out. Hell we met while the wound was still wide open, but she stayed through that anyway and helped patch it up as much as she could.”

“I really wish you were here to meet her.”

“I miss you. We all do.”

Standing up, Yunjin gives her arms and legs a stretch, brushing off the dirt and debris of her pants. Looking down at the stone slab engraved with your name, a beam of light shining off and blinding the girl through her glasses. She gives you a half hearted smile filled with bittersweet longing, tears still shining in the corners of her eyes.

“Thanks for being our friend, and thanks for listening to me today. It made me feel a whole lot better just talking to you. You were always good at that, lighting up someones day by just being there. No wonder Chae loves you so much.”

“I promise to try visit you more often when i can. Maybe i’ll bring Zuha to meet you too. I know youd want that and im sure shed like to meet you too, even if just once.”

“I wish you were still here.”

“Happy birthday Yn.”

A/N - First angst oneshot, hope its alright. Feedback would be appreciated if there is any :]

#kim chaewon #kim chaewon x reader #chaewon x reader #le sserafim #le sserafim chaewon #le sserafim yunjin #yunjin x reader #huh yunjin #kpop imagines #le sserafim imagines

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prof-peach · 3 months ago

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Bit ooc but I have a question. How you do go about planing out your PLA comic? Like how do you actually turn your ideas/ storyline into comic form? Is it chapter to chapter or do you have the whole idea already planned out? Trying to find my own way in comic making so I’m just wondering if you could give any advice. Feel free to ignore if you don’t feel comfortable answering

So, at first this was al i could think to send.

because its incredibly accurate to my process.

Jokes aside, a lot of how i work is back and forth chaos, fighting with ideas until im happy with them. I will start with a list (usually not written down because im unhinged and keep a ot of it in my brain) and organise it in a way that makes sense to the situation, in this case workign with a game with an established plot...not that its a very strong one.

with a set of ideas, and a game to work around i will ramble and rant to a few choice people who i bounce well off, and also stare into space for hours on end building the ideas. This process can be days, it can be years. For context, i have some notes from 2019 about things i wanted to include that are still relevant. I have been scheming how to break and rebuild this OC for ages. Theres no correct time frame, so long as you simply do the work.

Once i have a fairly loose plan, i start to solidify the benning and the end. What is required to make a character compelling, what makes them believable, what makes them human in a way that we recognise. this isnt always a positive thing, people like to call characters who do bad things problematic, but its human nature to make mistakes and be damaged or difficult, the process of the story is not always rainbows and sunshine. For me, this hits even harder, as im trying to tell a story from the perspective of someone fundamentally broken, so showing those breaks and cracks has to be done wisely.

This is the point where i make notes about things that need to change from the start to the end. And ill say one thing, this story in particular, I have not solidly planned the middle. I am allowing space for me to come up with new ideas at points. Being locked into a dead set of ideas can be quite limiting, and as creators we consume and process things constantly to generate new stories. Id be a fool to make a plan and stick to it. everything i do is vague guidelines.

However, I know exactly how the story ends in Hisui, and where it goes to from there. And i think me personally knowing the end goal makes it easier to plot steps towards that, and some of those steps are anything but progressive.

If nothing else, the end was the only thing i saw clearly, and it has only become more complex and loaded and emotional as the rest of this has fallen into place. If you can see the goal, you can work out how to get there with time.

Regarding the chapters, i tend to draft plan up like 3-4 of them at a time, and then go in order to sketch out one after the other, so i have plenty of time to change things while i adjust. its constantly a process of seeing what you make, seeing issues, and scrapping whole parts just to redraw something better or new, unique even. I dont think a single page ive posted has resembled the very VERY first draft thumbnail ive made, and thats just how i do. Every panel, how big they are, the angle you hand the viewer, the way you light things, the expressions, this all dictates SO SO much.

Taking time over it is kind of the job, and let me stress, this is normally a job done by a team, especially the highly popular comics. one inks, one colours, one shades, one handles text, one edits, theres so many people behind it, so dont be bothered by the pace at which things are made if youre working alone like i am. One person means longer production times, if you can, spread the workload out, but its not required. Its why i always say it doesnt matter how long it takes to make, so long as youre still making.

I think its also worth noting, comics are consumed quickly, the bakcgournds and small details can be lost in the ace of the storytelling, pick and choosing your battles is wise, save your time on panels where you want the reader to shift along quicker, keep that pace high, and add in more detail and depth to panels you want to champion or get the viewers to hang around on more. its ok to let go of a "perfect" image in favour of getting content out, if youre being driven nuts by it. Again, time be damned, be happy with it. And if you can let go of petty details, id suggest doing it when possible, so long as it doesnt effect the storytelling.

I mean what else can i even say. This work is a passion project, I love it, more than i can even put into words, and i think you kind of have to, to make comics without monetary motivation. sure you can get lucky and find ways to make it big, but for most of us, its the love of the story. So maybe try not to be your biggest hater, its easy to slip into the behaviour, so try be gentle on yourself and the process. I should take that advice myself haha! but i really do mean it. This is HARD work, so be kind to yourself over it.

anyway, with a rough idea, a bunch of sketches, and time, they get inked and fussed over, i make a billion changes to layout and story, and eventually posting can happen but not after fighting with the monster that is creating. Idk what else i can say. This is not work for the feint of heart, but anyone can learn to do it.

Good luck, comic artists can always use it!

#ooc

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mako-neexu · 9 months ago

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Id chapter is insane. im so stressed even after more than 2 months of its release. because the Class who won for the entirety of Ordeal Call (dare i say it: the entirety of FGO?) so far are the Avengers. (so far... at least for me..lets hope ruler and foreiner OCs are good...also idk read my og tags for this)

its probably just me overthinking... i dont know if sakurai thought this far but its just so good. because... like. the current arc's focus is on the Classes and the recent main story focused on Avengers.

Avengers. heroic spirits. Extra Class. Those who speak of hate yet are born from love and those who speak love yet are born from hate. The basis of each and all of the heroic spirits in the Throne are simply because they are all records. They are spirits and shadows of those who have lived long ago and those are currently living somewhere or those who have still yet to live and are from the future. Either way, anyone summoned from the Throne is what makes them a Servant. A copy of the real thing. Beings made of ether, ghosts who are a set of records and memories given form.

Avengers are the very embodiment of holding onto the past. Oblivion Correction, being able to remember even beyond time loops or universes could be considered more of a curse than a blessing for these flames whose lives burn endlessly from hate and anger and sorrow from towards those who have wronged them. Flames who would burn endlessly and would stop at nothing even should their retribution be at the cost proper human history's ashes.

Records. Human and beast shaped memories given form. They are beings of stagnacy and cannot grow well past beyond their current state. As only those who are currently living have the privilege of being the only ones to grow. Do you understand me? Do you understand what I'm getting at?

Avengers are more records and fragments of themselves - Alters, Innocent Monsters, collective will of hatred from many people condensed into one - beyond any Class of the Throne. As such they cannot grow. They will never grow for they will remain as flames and inhuman creatures that will ultimately consume and burn all that is within their sights.

And yet, the very Avenger considered to be the greatest, to be the representative and leader of the group was able to transcend the impossible.

Only the living have that right to escape their impending deaths, their doom, their fate. Servants, nothing more than familiars, don't have that right anymore. Not anymore as they don't truly exist in the present.

And yet. And yet.

The Count of Monte Cristo claws an eye out, splits his skull open, rips an entire arm out, bleeds himself dry to change himself. Change himself down to his very core and almost every aspect of him, all for the sake of one person alone.

He was able to take a step forward. An extreme impossibility in and of itself to these burning spirits who are broken records incarnate.

Just one step. Look away from the past without discarding it, still carrying it close, still remaining who he is and yet his sights are on the night sky above, to that star twinkling so gently, so brightly ahead of him that there is no helping that feeling of breathlessness he feels.

Far different from choking on smoke, far different from drowning beneath the icy waves of a prison tower by the sea.

To that person who is his fate, who is his star, his light, and fire in this second life, they extend a hand out to him with a dazzling smile.

Oh.

The Count of Monte Cristo, far beyond salvation and absolution, must think, This in itself is poison. This in itself is ambrosia given form.

With a hand, a resolute gaze telling him he isn't alone, Edmond Dantes, King of the Cavern, the Count of Monte Cristo was able to move forward, change himself and turn into a flame that would pave the way for that star which seeks its own wishes to be fulfilled. To that partner, co-conspirator, accomplice who always walked forward and never wavered in wanting to fight by his side, the Avengers won here and now.

Because to be loved is to be changed.

And being able to change, find yourself capable of it, there is growth. And in growth, for these heroic spirits, ghosts, those who have long passed...

What is that, if not, victory to all of the Avengers themselves?

#Victory for the mark of growth for these cursed souls doomed for destruction and vengeance because of the past.#But because of love from the present- love from now they became more than flames-#more than what the world dictated them to be because of LOVE.#FUCK ISTG ID CHAPTER GET OUT OF MY HEAD #fgo #fate grand order #edmond dantes #jalter #hessian lobo #antonio salieri #avenger class #COUHGING UP BLOOD #fujimaru ritsuka #guda

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wundersmith-squall · 1 year ago

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ramble about your Ezra Squall redemption arc please?

Absolutely- id be very happy to! I'm quite aware that im about to sound like this:

but you asked so this is what you signed up for /j

Soooooooo it basically wormed its way into my head because of the one time where Squall said something like 'We're wundersmiths we take all of the blame and none of the credit' and I was like, okay sir are you speaking from experience? What was the 'credit' of your actions? And also the mention of the shared enemy, which I at the time took as meaning partially something in the republic that threatens Nevermoor, and partially something to do with the system, the Wunderous Society and like, all the people in charge who are against wundersmiths and are trying to hold Mog back.

Along with these two things, I'd like to think that 100+ years of banishment are long enough to rethink your actions and become a better person.

So, I'll explain it in a way that wont take an entire essay to write out. Basically it goes in my head that, Courage Square was, at least partially an accident, and over 100 years the story got skewed, and the current population turned against Ezra and the Wundersmiths, while the population at the time knew how, Wundersmiths ultimately were trying to help Nevermoor. Courage Square was bad, which is why Ezra was banished, but he wasnt killed. After a tragedy, it would be expected that he'd be punished, but at the time, the Republic as we know it didnt exist, and so being banished out there was a very bad fate, but it was definitely better than death.

Ezra went through a, lot of bad mental states during the first few decades of his banishment, but as he grew older, he came to terms with both his past actions and his current situation, though he still feels guilty about it.

In my head, the Wundersmiths were originally established to protect Nevermoor from the weird creatures of the darkness that the Wunderous Society takes care of now. Those creatures are attracted to Wunder. When Ezra was banished from Nevermoor, there were no longer any Wundersmiths in there, and so WunSoc had to step up and find a way to cover for him. Meanwhile, Ezra, who still loves Nevermoor, establishes Squall Industries, partially to improve conditions in the Republic and partially to provide a bigger, brighter beacon of wunder to attract the majority of the dangerous creatures to a place where he could still handle them. In this same thought, the Hunt of Smoke and Shadow werent something he created, but a group of these dangerous creatures that he managed to tame.

On the same subject are the other cursed children, those who, gather wunder but are unfortunately dont have the gift to control it. The creatures of the darkness, who chase wunder, hunt down these children to take the wunderous energy from them, which they dont survive. Ezra does his best in this situation, but one man can only do so much, and the creatures are relentless.

When he first discovers Morrigan, he's not exactly sure what to do. He tries to just get her as an apprentice through the usual means in the republic, but after a certain mad ginger got in the way he sent the Hunt after her, himself being busy trying to help the other cursed children, but we all know that that attempt didnt work. Ezra, knowing about the wunder critical-mass gather-too-much-without-using-it-makes-bad-things-happen thing, so he used the gossamer to get back into Nevermoor.

Having to enter and view Nevermoor again, even though not physically, took a bit of a toll on him, plus having to interact with someone new while being himself, which is not something he's had to do in a long time. He's also never, had to teach anyone before.

From there, I imagine he goes from frustrated and angry, to irritated but starting to get attached to Mog, to actually being a genuinely good teacher (aka the floof you saw in my drawing, who doesnt sleep nearly enough but still tries his best to be a good person), who is Tired™ and also just as chaotic as Jupiter when he wants to be.

Thank you for listening to my ramble- I can happily expand on anything if anyone happens to like this train of thought. I have further specifics on, basically everything, but this is a solid overview.

#im also working on a new drawing #so hopefully that will be finished in the next few days #nevermoor #jessica townsend #ezra squall #wundersmith #wunder #morrigan crow #ramble #ezra squall redemption arc

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gamblersdoll · 1 year ago

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THE WARM ,THE COLD ,THE SIX.

summary: your two teenage friends try to win your heart.. to what extent?

content contains adult themes, such as death, mature themes, angst, comfort, ect. my work is not suitable for many people. reader discretion is advised.

chapter one.

“you gonna be my wife, y/n?” gojo teased, peaking over his glasses. he had a am slinging around your shoulders bending to your height. how he was already six foot one at seventeen was astonishing. but he is satoru gojo after all.

“you think id set the bar for you that low? i value myself.” you said, peeling his arm off and looking at him with your arms folded. “youre delulu.” you said, shaking your head.

“hey– hey! dont call me that, youre delulu for not taking a chance.” he said, huffing like a child not getting his little snack from his local mart-wal or shop. “just give me one chaaance , mrs satoru..!” he said, a whine and pout. he was going to speak again until geto showed up.

“oh satoru, please stop whining over her. shes your type yes, but no need.” geto appeared, his eyes slightly hanged low towards you.

“haa?” he said, looking to him. “you know shes hot and you blame mee!?” he exclaimed, growing a little hissy fit. “isnt she your type too? you should understand, emo!” he pouted, looking away from both of you.

“not confirming nor denying, but she probably wouldnt want a delusional man whining.” geto said, taking his hair out of a bun and letting it fall. god, he should at least have a girlfriend right now , nor a situationship.

“would both of you stop calling me that?!” he yelled, causing the boys to bicker and banter against each other. you had managed to slip away from that, and into your own room.

you shouldnt had agreed to share a apartment with them, geto with hair that sheds like a damn shepherd, gojo having some randos come over, geto having icky scented candles lit, ect. especially when they argue about something, you always became the middle man and youd somehow argue too because one didnt like your response.

you understood the shedding, since you had a head full of hair anyway, and maybe they thought you had icky scented candles. like the time you had a sour apple candle going and geto side eyed you for it. but it was home, your home.

you had closed the door, slipping out of uniform and changing into a baggy shirt with some shorts. you liked being comfortable, the only problem was the shorts riding up because of your thighs and you sometimes hated it. you hadnt worn it outside your room persay, but you needed to at that moment to cook something at least.

which would be the absolute death of you.

you walked out of your room to the kitchen, having geto and gojo stop mid arguement, only to look respectfully of course.

his blue eyes on you.

his brown eyes on you.

you felt them, you shouldnt care, but you couldnt. you felt like a animal with two predators on you, drooling. you heard them both breathe heavily while you got on the step ladder to reach for the cajun seasoning. you felt them breathe on you even being a few feet away.

“told you shes hot.” gojo said, using his hands to demonstrate your curves, meanwhile looking at geto.

“thats….” geto sighed, looking away from you finally. “okay.”

“im uh … making cajun chicken and pasta.” you tried to change the topic, but it was about you.

“unt unt.” gojo sounded, shaking his finger side to side, clicking his tongue. “we arent gonna ignore this little fit you got on.” he said, practically frantic in his eyes. he wasn’t desperate for you, but, he was eager.

“gojo, its shorts and a big ass tee, i look terrible.” you said, flatly.

“you dont know what a homeless outfit on a hot bitch like you does to me.” he said— was he getting closer? you had to do a double take.

“gojo, two steps back to where you were!” geto demanded–

yeah, he was getting closer, he had those eyes that made him look crazy, acting like a tweaker. you stepped back as well, no longer looking at his direction, but looking for your cast iron skillet. you were hearing him and geto say something but you didnt pay attention until you squatted back up–

“gojo, get back here n..”

“—and if you dont, i wont hesitate to rip it off with my teeth maybe.” gojo finished, looking at where you ended up against him. he was at fault since he was in your bubble, but you brushed up against him when you squatted back up to your height. and it made him lose his cool on the inside. he didnt mind it though.

everyone was quiet, geto pinching the bridge of his nose. geto had his own thoughts about you, but he could keep it to himself, unlike gojo. he relied on actions instead of words, thats why helps cook, clean, or just help you with your hair.

“it isnt wise for you to wear shorts like that around. you can throw some pants over it or ill rip them off with my teeth.” he warned, trapping you against the fridge with a arm beside your head.

you hated when he did that, when hed talk to you all low and heafty with his eyes low and lidded. this time is like that but he had such a mean face. you only hated it because it was like one of those boyfriends that spoke to you all dark and low.

“go get me some pants then, out my drawer geto..?” you sighed, keeping an eye on gojo and keeping distance.

after that whole fiasco, you were in your room. you were just reading up until you heard them bicker again, and they called your name.

you came out to the banter, feeling like its stupid. until they asked you something about if cookies are better well done, normal, or undercooked. you sighed, finally answering.

“cookies are better soft, so somewhere between undercooked and normal cooked. i also kinda like medium rare cookies.” you said, finding peace in that answer, until gojo spoke up.

“you pretty and pretty thick and all but what the hell is a medium rare cookie???” he asked, making the confusion of questions.

“please do explain, y/n.” geto chirped in, putting his hair up.

#jjk x reader #jjk spoilers #jujutsu gojo #geto suguru #jjk geto #geto x reader #jjk gojo #gojo x reader #jjk #jujutsu geto #gojo satoru

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esoteric-terror · 7 months ago

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Two sides of the same coin

idk. i think theres a Lot of room for these two to be interesting together under the cut is how i would make them interesting To Me/partial avos rewrite, assume everything i dont mention is the same

about a year and a half ago @/cheecats posted this and i like this idea! it started making its rounds in my brain again and in my brain it Shifted, just a tad, and now we are here w this! thus we begin my madman rambling

prior to avos, rowanclaw is not a frequent character, he mostly just shows up to be mean and xenophobic, im p sure he shows up in night whispers as a good parent to his kids but for the sake of this im gonna ignore it and double down on the meanness, so for the rest of this im characterizing him as selfish, stubborn, mean, and someone who doesnt like being held accountable. do those traits sound familiar? they should, because im also describing onestar

we come to rowanclaw becoming leader, i want them to be Scarily similar, i need them to clash badly and be explosive because of said clash

they definitely differ tho! its just internally instead of externally. the biggest difference is that onestar is full of shame, regret, and self hatred. he knows that he shouldnt have ever met the kittypets. he knows he shouldnt have turned down darktail and because of him several kits died because he was a coward. he HATES that tallstar just had to make him deputy because that led to mudclaws death and him inevitably cutting off firestar. and he deeply regrets how he treated his old friend but he cant do much now as firestars dead! and he knows deep in his heart hes letting tallstar down. but if he drops the tough independent guy facade now and show how scared and regretful he actually is could lead to windclan being chased off again.

rowanstar on the other hand, is just Mean because thats all hes been surrounded by, 2 evil leaders, another who had a questionable history, and no shortage of clanmates who are just complete assholes. he doesnt have to prove shit to anyone in his clan, but he has everything to prove to the other clans as a new leader. hes not gonna be soft to them, fuck that! shadowclan can stand on its own w no help they got their shit down and everyone else needs to know that.

rowanstars cowardice isnt really recognized until after the kin shows up. he claims that he let them stay because theyre clearly strong. but hed never admit part of the reason he let them stay is because after bramblestar informed him that the rogues fought off onestar and his patrol that ultimately took one of onestars lives and killed furzepelt, he got scared to tell them no in case he met a similar fate.

in this hypothetical rewrite id switch the order of onestars and rowanstars deaths, so rowanstar dies at the end of the third book and onestar dies at the end of the fifth. because of that the circumstances around rowans death is changed a bit

so in some confrontation with the rogues, with rowan, tawnypelt, and tigerheart on one side with the kin on the other, tawnypelt ends up dying protecting rowanstar, because he let her take the killing blow. this is the first time hes shown visible terror, and because he didnt want to admit, even to himself, that this fight was his fault, and that because he was a coward and couldnt say no, he lost his mate, who was nothing but loyal to him.

skip to the end of shattered sky. theres another confrontation with the rogues. in this rowanstar doesnt step down! he still cant accept and doesnt want to admit that he was a coward, so he says the reason this happened was because he was too kind to his clan and to the rogues. the he gets killed.

this throws shadowclan under full control of the kin, and naturally this news spreads to windclan. and onestar is terrified out of his mind.

after a lot of projecting onto rowanstar, onestar realizes something: if he cant admit his faults, if he cant get over his pride, he will end up shamefully dying like rowanstar. and he recognizes that while he cant change the past, he can make the future better.

and so he tells everyone that darktail is his son and he steps down as leader. and in a way its freeing, this secret thats been eating him alive for years is now out in the open. he never knew darktail became this monster, onewhisker acknowledges that if it werent for his bad decisions as a young warrior, darktail wouldve never turned out this way, and he was gonna fix everything.

and then the battle that kills both of them happens the same as it does in canon, just later in the arc

ALL OF THIS TO SAY: rowan and one could have an interesting dynamic and it could be a cool parallel and i think if the erins tapped into that id like avos a lot more

#onestar #rowanstar #rowanclaw #darktail #rowan has such wasted potential! you could take him so many ways and i think it works regardless!#warrior cats #warriors

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yatgb · 11 months ago

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Agent 8 crumbs PLEASEPLEASEPLEASEPLEASSPLSASEPLEASEPLEASEPLEASEPLEASEPLEASEPLEASEPLEASEPLEASEPLEASE

Okay well i GUESSSS i can ramble about agent 8 🙄 if i mustt

He/She Eight forever and always ^-^ people (including herself) default to she/her but she doesnt mind! Either prns are fine any time. Also doesnt label her sexuality he's just balling

Aside from all the sanitized kamabo bullshit i think hitting her head after the fight with agent 3 actually did give her some Lasting Brain Damage, and she has problems with forgetting things. Her and Agent 4's apartment is PLASTERED with sticky note reminders, even for stuff like "close the fridge" "turn off the stove" because she WILL forget to do that part

Agent 4 made her a little cookbook that step-by-step tells her how to make her favorite foods with those menial reminders to turn stuff on and off and close doors

AND she and Agent 4 have made what they call Eight's Brain Board, whoch is a crime board style corkboard that lays out all her memories and how they relate to each other just in case she forgets again. Proudly on display in their room

Likes wood-and-metalworking just to make little trinkets, most of the time Octivus or Squidmas gifts. The definition of Hobby On The Side that keeps her hands sharp. The first one she made on the surface was a little Salmonid keychain she gifted to Agent 4 ^-^

Still writes poetry too. She doesnt mean for it to be 8-8-8 syllables they literally just. Happen like that. She'll write a poem about literally anything. she wrote one about Agent 4's freckles

I know Donny is the shopkeeper in-game but Eight is the actual store manager for the Ammo Knights in Inkopolis Square. Sheldon hired her before he moved to Splatsville and she proved to be a VERY good employee so he let her take over the store

She and Sheldon often have friendly races between who can take apart and put a weapon back together the quickest. Eight's record is less than 2 minutes for a Hydra Splatling

Eight takes her job SUPER seriously and absolutely Will Not Budge on anything like prices or weapon availability. No "i left my ID at home" or "i'm basically level 10 cant i just have that one" she does NOT care. Rules are rules and by jove she will not only follow but she WILL enforce them

^ that being said she also HATES Grizzco. She doesnt like their shady vibe and has heard many horror stories about the actual work from Agent 4 (who works there to pay off his student loans) and she really really REALLY despises how they illegally modify weapons for golden rotations. Every time she finds a modified weapon she instantly confiscates and dismantles it. It's like a spit in the face to her entire career and she will not stand for it

Very good with teenagers! Mostly bc thats the majority of who comes into the shop. She loves hearing about their battle tales and has been jotting down little plotlines that unfold in her store (like a kid trying a new weapon to impress their crush, or someone climbing up the ranks in Clam Blitz, that type thing)

She has a reputation for being super nice to everyone but really its because she just has a really long fuse. It takes a LOT to get her mad

Charger main! She's amazing with any charger you put in front of her and she's an absolute MENACE in an inkbattle. Her favorites change but "you can never go wrong with a good and standard Splat Charger"

Her favorite battle mode is Tower Control!

She also Is crushing on Cap3 but she will literally never make a move. Partly bc they live across the ocean in splatsville now but also It's Agent 3. The Legendary Agent 3. Theyre Too Cool For Me (Agent 4 has been trying to wingman them together ever since they started hanging out. the pining is mutual theyre both just flustered. Hes suffering)

Idol relationships!!!!!!! Since she is genuinely good friends with Agent 3 she's frienda by proxy with the squid sisters. They dont really have a lot in common and dont hang out much but she and Marie like being menaces in inkbattles together because theyre both cracked with a Charger and love causing problems. Imagine 2 E-Liters on the Brinewater ledge. Hell. She finds it easy to chat with Callie and they'll talk about literally anything. Callie just has that effect on people i think

She sees Pearl and Marina as cousins, partly bc Pearl started calling her Cousin as a nickname but they really are like family. She lived with them for a solid month learning the language and etiquitte before they couldnt put off their Idol Jobs any longer, which is when she started living with Agent 4. They check in with each other every day and fuckig. LOVE EACH OTHER. She always gets front row tickets to their shows

Has only met Deep Cut very very briefly while being a roadie for OTH's world tour. They indimidate her but she'll take Marina's word that Big Man is chill at least. She's also heard good things about their heroism in Alterna from Cap3 so at the moment theyre vaguely Okay in her book

Also besties with Acht ^-^ initially bonding over Side Order bullshit but she finds their practical blunt nature to be really refreshing and calming. They mostly parallel-play when they hang out together. Like cats. She really likes their new music (can't listen to any Kamabo songs without feeling Bad after :( trauma and all. Acht respects this)

Shelly and Donny absolutely LOVE HER. She always entertains their kiddie ramblings and helps them out if they need a hand at their store, and theyre always welcome to work at her store if theirs is slow and they want something to do. She teaches them more about the weapons in a hands-on way so they have more to tell the customers rather than just parroting Sheldon

Speaking of, she's also great friends with Sheldon! Technically he's her boss but hes a very chill boss and she's been invited to family gatglherings outside of work and such. A good friend to the Shellendorf family!

"Hey eight how are you so cheerful all the time you have a very busy job and lots of friends to keep up with! Whats your secret!" Shes literally just in love with life. Thats it. After dealing with so much shit underground and nearly losing everything in Kamabo she has a huge appreciation for life itself. She relishes in the good and accepts the bad because at least she has a choice to experience it all. That being said can trauma responses go away she doesnt quite like those

(Hiiii :3 watch out here comes the extremely thought out backstory i made under the cut)

The reason shes so good with Chargers is actually because she was training under a Special Forces unit in the Octarian Army

She was known in her class for being super smart and quick on her feet but she just CANT build up any muscle mass, and the wasabi supply unit were already thinking of allowing Certain Octolings to use Chargers and Splatlings without being Octocommanders or Octosnipers, so they decided to guinea pig her with a Charger along with a smattering of other similar Octolings

She became like. SUPER good at using Chargers and a lot of her peers would call her The Next Marina because she surprised everyone with how cracked she was at like everything they threw at her. She never liked this comprison due to wanting to just Be Herself

She was also known for being extremely caring and empathetic, which landed her in hot water for speaking out against the way she and her fellow colleagues were treated as faceless soldiers, and wondered if plotting against the Inklings was even worth it st this point. She famously got in MASSIVE trouble for insinuating that they let The Great Zapfish go and was in Detention/Jail for like a While and nearly lost all her progress climbing up the ranks

Alsooooooo :3 in my personal canon she was part of the squad to escort Callie into Octo Canyon. It was her first time ever on the surface and once she got a taste for the real sun she needed more of it

(I know Octo Expansion is likely happening the same time as Splat2 Hero Mode but it makes sense for my canon for it to happen After)

Also she's 18 st the start of Octo Expansion just to tie back into the whole 8 thing they had going on

The whole hypnoshade thing was also thrust on Callie as a surprise and like. It's not fun to be Surprise Brainwashed so of course she fought back before the hypnoshades took effect. Eight still has a scar on her shoulder from where Callie dug her nails in. That experience was also the final nail in the "i gotta get out of here" coffin

Even though she had made up her mind to run away to the surface, it still really hurt to leave her life behind. She had real friends and even something romantic going on with someone special, as well as having actual good standings in the army with a bright future ahead of her, but the surface was more worth it in her eyes. being able to have her own life instead of one she was forced into was so appealing. Her friends think she's selfish and definitely resent her now (even though theyre fuzzed and barely remember her in turn)

Oh and also her name used to be Maia Idachi :3 but since she doesnt know her old name she can't find her file in Cap'n Cuttlefish's dossier. She doesn't want to go by facial recognition in case she mistakes her fime for someone else's and remembers something that never happened to her yknow (got Maia from amai, the japanese word to describe something sweet to tie into her being caring and empathetic, and Idachi from Idako which is the word for a species of Octopus)

#hi im actively ignoring work to finish this LMFAO #IVE BEEN TYPING IT ON AMD OFF MY ENTIRE SHIFT..... I FUCKING LOVE THIS OCTUPS #splatoon #agent 8 #splatoon headcanons #long post #lkterally cannot shut up abt her i need to write her morw [explodes the room w my telekenesis]#THANJ YOU FOR ENABLING ME TYSM #i was trying to find a name to call u and i almost called u acid. thays ur name now /JOKE

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minipisi-is-dumb · 2 years ago

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hai, sorry to bother, but what exactly is giftedness? i dont think i trust google on it and id rather hear about it from someone who's gifted. is it like being a genius or something?

hiii thanks for asking about it!!! and sure lemme tell ya

it's a bit lengthy sorry

ill briefly explain the symptoms and then other extra stuff, thanks so much for asking, not a lot of people know about it :)

giftedness is a form of neurodivergent condition/neurodivergency or however you call it, that is characterized by asynchronous development between intelectual and "chronological" growth

an easy way to explain it (even if the theory is disproven so it's just as example) is how people see mental ages

you might be chronologically 15, but intellectually, your needs are those of a 19 y/o and emotionally your regulation is that of a 13 y/o. that's what asynchrony means essentially

the current "official" way to diagnose people is through iq tests, they're not always specific and is usually in a margin of error, but if it's a legit test and not one of those online, is used to measure the amount of connections your brain has. of course the results may vary if you have more than one neurodivergency or you have a mental illness. it's always important to discuss it with your doctor!

the more connections u have per braincell → the faster processing you got. the amount of connections is measured by iq number

the criteria for being diagnosed is simply getting 130 or more in the iq test, there's different types of depth to giftedness as a condition, just like there're different symptoms and levels of depth for autism, but that's the beauty of it isn't it

and contrary to what you might think, fast processing can be very difficult, it feels like your brain goes faster than you all the time you are asked a question, say, in a test, and you just know the answer! that's it, you can't explain it even to yourself. your brain "skips" steps to get to a conclusion since we don't have a linear way of thinking, or you make connections at the moment that somehow end up making sense all the time and you don't even realize it. it's overwhelming

other important symptoms are similar to other nds like autism or adhd like being able to hyperfocus, stimming or sensory sensitivity, but there are some different ones like latent inhibition deficit

latent inhibition deficit (you can google it for better understanding) it's basically not being able to prioritize the information you recieve

have you ever found yourself in a restaurant or a crowded space, and even if there's a lot of talking and music, eventually you "forget about it" and stop paying attention to it since it's not important? That's latent inhibition!!! your brain can filter information, wether is sensory or cognitive and ignore whatever it doesn't see as important

my brain can't, I am always listening to the music, the people talking in the room, small changes in smell, sound or how too many colors confuse me and give me migraine, my brain cannot "filter" importance in it, so it pays attention to everything and sees it all as important since it perceives it as one whole thing

connecting most of the stuff around you or "seeing the big picture" always is very normal, feeling like everything is happening at the same time simultaneously and you can't just pick and choose is the best way I can describe it

we also have overexcitabilities!!! that is a bit long to explain but you can google it

here's a very useful explanation that also mentions giftedness, since the term was created from studying our behavior

here's my favorite talk about the topic, I watched it years after being diagnosed and it explains it very well, the woman giving the talk is gifted herself and works in gifted education programs too!

she also has a talk about overexcitabilities!!

I really like this image because it is a quick way to see some basic symptoms, is not the be all of it but you can get a general idea compared to autism and adhd, since there's more info about them around

Alright we done w that

the BIGGEST misconception about giftedness is that it is just good grades, it's a complex condition just like any other! adhd is not "just getting distracted", autism is not "just being socially awkward" and giftedness is not "just being a genius"

I cannot stress enough how grades have nothing to do with giftedness , in fact, most gifted people end up dropping school or college since it never fits fully fits our educational needs

giftedness and academic achievement are not inherent to one another, you can be neurotypical and have good and bad grades too, it doesn't matter really . it could be a clue for some, where good grades might lead a parent to take the test, but the results are not there just because of grades or high achievement rate

now we need to talk kinda quickly abt ableism and how the concept of iq was originally created to stigmatize non-white races, women and neurodivergent conditions

the first people to coin the term for iq were (shocker) rich white men who liked the idea of being smarter than everyone else

however, the arbitrary measurement used to discriminate towards people on the bases of iq started to change it's perspective

we know NOW that there's a lot more than "just genius" and is a complex condition people like me live without, but the subconscious idea of high iq being something that makes you ""superior "" is still around due to it's origins and lack of common knowledge. the stigma about telling other people you're gifted is huge, people change the way they percieve you, they change the way they treat you, or at best you seem like an egocentric superb who thinks they're better than everyone

it's sorta how being a narcissist is used as an insult or to demonize the actual condition instead of people actually understanding what it is to have npd? kinda that. if you call yourself gifted you're basically doomed to be the egocentric one

and languages outside of english don't make it better.

for Spanish (my native language) even though we have one of the best resources imo for giftedness (the book "¿Demasiado Inteligente para ser feliz?") we also have the term "superdotado" that translated roughly means "super gifted". not doing much for the "we're literally people and not inhumane geniuses" part

but UGHHHH I kinda think that's most of my base info for u, I am SO happy you're interested, I have a little giftedness tag you can look at, and there's also gifted-centered blogs around this site

thanks for reading!!!

#minipisi.txt #giftedness #minipisi.asks #neurodivergency #neurodivergent #actually gifted

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mothwiingz · 26 days ago

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i hate walking so much. my fucking knee is so unstable and weak, every movement gives me anxiety cuz idk if its gonna start hurting really badly or not. i havent been able to see my PT since september bc of transportation issues (mom works full time, dad is blind, i can barely walk, we live in the woods, how am i meant to get anywhere). she was able to send the PE teacher at my new school a list of exercises for me to do, but i cant talk to her or anything. and the exercises make my knee hurt even more but i cant tell her bc theres no one available, that i can contact, who can help me. i hate walking anywhere cuz it goes backwards every single step and its painful and exhausting to try and compensate for it (using both crutches to support my bad leg still hurts and doesnt stop it from going the wrong direction, holding my leg in the air is tiring, tilting my leg so theres different muscles being used to move it puts a Huge amount of strain on those muscles after a full day, wrapping my bad leg around the non fucked up one and walking by swinging my entire body forward at once (idk if that description makes sense but whatever) is fine until me and my backpack together are over 200 lbs and then my arms get exhausted super quickly, theres really no good solution). i wish i never had to walk again, id be so so much more happy and comfortable. id enjoy just going on trips to places, for the first time in years. instead of being so exhausted i feel like a zombie dragging its decaying body around. but my dads right im not sick enough to need a wheelchair even if it Would make my life so much easier and more comfortable. thats out of the question since my dad would never let me. what im really hoping for is that the fucking orthopedics department gets back to us soon and can either tell me “here’s your knee brace, sorry we made you suffer and wait so long without any kind of medical help whatsoever” or “we’ve decided you don’t need this but we’re not going to help you with any other solution to one of your joints malfunctioning so badly that you’ve had to walk differently for the last month. fuck you, go suffer”. genuinely how long does it take to just look over my records and make the decision. it’s not a novel it’s just a couple pages. cuz you’d really think it would be a shorter time than ONE MONTH. ONE MONTH of me fearing even the tiniest amount of walking because i know my body wont work correctly and itll be nothing but pain. one month of waiting for doctors to get their shit together about this. and many many more with all the other issues i have combined! hey when do i get to have a higher dose on my adhd meds! theyre not working well enough and i still cant do the shit i want or need to do! you said id know within a week if they worked for me! so why do i have to wait THREE FUCKING MONTHS FOR ONE APPOINTMENT???

god someone please just get me out of here. i dont even care that much about my body being all fucked up. the scary part is how the only ppl who can help me are just sitting there doing nothing/way too busy to help while i cry out in pain

i know this is nothing compared to the issues other people face. but i need help. i really really need to see a doctor. and im sitting in limbo here, never sure when my next appointment is gonna be. no matter how badly i need it

#vent #physically disabled #disability

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angelsentabove · 2 months ago

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longing for love, pt 1.

ⓘ longing for love is an (angsty, slow burn) story including iyanna taylor in her arranged marriage with xavier taylor, which is an unrequited romance between these two and eventually the love is finally reciprocated. when? well, everything great takes time, am i right?

𐙚 themes of violence. 5.8k words. wattpad version.

ⓘ iyana’s pov.

it’s unbelievable how my entire life just shifted within a few hours after a regular wednesday after school 5 years ago. and i remember the entire day so vividly and picture perfect, even with as much as i try to push it back into the crevices of my mind for me not to think about forever. i dread it every time i wake up. and i genuinely wonder why God put me in this situation. it was only my 2nd year of highschool- and i just caught wind that id be married by 20 wether id like it or not. why? pfft, like i know. i was kept in the dark for so long, and im still clueless. me, a 15-year-old girl that just found out i wont be meeting my soulmate anytime soon, ‘cause ill be forced to married to a guy i dont even know.

5 years ago, march 5th.

with a soft click of the lock securing my front door, i stepped into my house that was.. unusually quiet. like it was almost as quiet as a pitch dark room. i knew both of my parents were home- all 3 cars were out front and parked orderly underneath the car port. and they’d typically be in the kitchen chatting and snacking. so.. why was it dead silent? turns out, all i had to do was walk past the staircase, lo and behold they were in the living room. my parents were on one of the 3 couches, my mom sitting cross legged and flipping through some paper. i had enough life experience to think that we were moving, or they were getting a divorce. but no. it was way worse.

“hi honey. so glad you’re home. take a seat, dear.” wow okay. my dad has never called me that many pet names in my entire life, neither my sister. and he sounded so calmed. i didn’t like it. i stopped in my tracks and raised an eyebrow subtly for a split second; i was skeptical. did they go through my phone and got screenshots and printed it out on a piece of paper? oh God. id probably kill myself if that was the case.. i was sweating missiles already. but with hesitation, i sat down in the couch directly in front of them and placed my backpack on the ground.

“what’s this about?” i cut straight to the point. i had no time for the sugar-coating, the beating around the bush, nope. none of that. they were so calm, and quiet; you could literally probably hear my sweat drip down my forehead and drop on the floor.

“well.. your dad and i, have decided.. to ensure your future. by having you marry at 20 to a nice and handsome young man named xavier taylor.”

..excuse me?

a beat of silence. i was in disbelief. i had to make sure i heard what i heard. God please don’t tell me it’s true. please don’t tell me i’ll end up like those poor wives in those k-dramas with the abusive rich husbands in an arranged marriage because their families poor. we’re not poor. so why are they doing this?

“-..sorry. momma, could you repeat that?”

she glared at me for a split second. one that said, ‘you heard me. and you will accept this.’ instead of saying what her face was, she cleared her throat before speaking and repeated a little louder,

“you will be in a marriage by 20 with a young man named xavier taylor.” and the tone she said it in was passive aggressive. it was almost like she was annoyed. but i didn’t care about her feelings. i was too focused on what she just said. there’s no way.

“we’re doing this to make sure you have a nice and well mapped out future. and we don’t want you messing around with that older boy- joseph anymore. he’s a bad influence, and he has tattoos everywhere. you should be glad we’re doing this for you. plus, a younger black woman like you will get nowhere with him. he’s gonna use you.” i knew my dad was talking now. yet i couldn’t focus on a word he was saying. i was zoned out and there as a deafening ringing in my ears. i was too busy thinking everything over. ‘that’s not gonna be my life from now on’ was the only thing repeating in my head over and over again.

i wasn’t gonna allow them to ruin my life like this. what, do they seriously expect me to sit back and actually let them marry a stranger? hello. emphasis on stranger. even if it’s 5 years from now- i don’t care. accepting that as my future is like getting a shot. and i could swear my vision started getting blurry. maybe i was about to cry. i don’t know. i’m angry enough to do so right about now. and they knew me well enough (suprisingly) by the distracted look in my face to tell i wasn’t listening.

my mom slammed the papers she had in her hand flat onto the coffee table out of irritation i assume, and i snapped out of it. despite my teared-eyed vision, i could still make out some of the words. and sealing my fate even further, it was papers about the marriage. clearly, there’s no way out of this. besides suicide if you wanna be edgy and logical. “young lady, you are going to listen to us and i don’t care if you whine, shout, or do whatever. at 20, you will get married. we’re doing this for y-“

“doing this for me? i never told you i wanted this. and i don’t care if joseph is a bad influence or not, you can’t just allow me to get married to some dude i don’t know and expect this to be all fine and dandy. why would they even let you do this? how is this legal?” and i knew joseph was a bad influence. he smoked, got into fights every 3 days, and always got a little too aggressive with me. but i stayed. dumb enough ‘cause he was older and i just thought thats what they do. i craved his validation.

“excuse me? who are you talking to right now?”

“you. you know what? i’m leaving.” i was serious too. i’m not following through with that. i got up without allowing them to get another word in and stormed upstairs. i pulled some empty luggage out of the closet and began to pack everything. angry tears started to fall down my cheeks, yet i ignored them. i loved my parents. they never wronged me, nor did anything irrational. probably the standard for parenting.. so why are they losing their mind?

before i knew it, i heard synchronized stomps coming up the stairs. but they weren’t going to convince me into complying with something as bizarre as this. i continued in my movements even after they made it upstairs and stood in front of my open door way. like earlier, i knew they were talking, but everything they said was going in one ear and out of the other. not out of disbelief this time; i was so pissed off i didn’t pay attention to a single syllable that came out of their mouth. they both realized i wasn’t listening, and my mom instantly walked right in front of me. before i could get a word in, she grabbed me by the collar of my shirt.

“you must’ve lost your mind, iyana skye woods.” how ironic, apparently i’m losing my mind. “let me tell you something- i don’t care if you throw a temper tantrum and run away. do whatever you want. but you will get married to that man by 20; do you hear me?! this is for your future and you wanna act childish. but if i did this for ayana..”pure rage and agitation was all you could see in her unwavering expression. it was.. scary. i never liked her getting in my face. and my dad didn’t do anything but watch. these can’t be my parents.

-oh yeah, since ayana was my twin sister, i frequently got compared to her. we were polar opposites. ayana basically kissed the ground everyone walked on, she was a people pleaser. i hated seeing that for her. she always complied, no matter how ridiculous of a request. it was irritating to witness. even though i love her to death, i wanted to punch her sometimes with how much she let people walk over her.

“don’t give me that “ayana this” crap. even she wouldn’t allow you to do something like this to her life. do you even hear yourself? your forcing me to marry some dude i don’t even know 5 years from now. you know im happy with jos-“

“JOSEPH ISN’T RIGHT FOR YOU.” she snapped. right my face. a moment of silence passed- i just looked in her eyes with tears in my own, searching. searching for that sweet, sweet woman i knew when i was 2. the one who would pamper and spoil me like i meant the world to her. now she’s basically selling me off. like i’m a pice of meat, or a prized possession at an auction. she finally let go of my shirt and turned around quickly, making haste out the door and i’m assuming back downstairs. she didn’t even turn back to spare me a glance.

God, all i could do was bawl. for hours, too. the second they exited my presence, i froze and just broke down. i was utterly overwhelmed to the limit with emotions, anger and sadness paired with confusion being the only thing i knew. and at that point, i didn’t even know what to do. but it had to be something, anything. after probably an hour of crying, i crawled into my bed and fell asleep.

soon enough, it was 6 P.M. daylight savings time making it look darker than it actually was. i slowly rose from my bed and sat upright- a tired hand reaching for my phone to check the time. i was kinda shocked at how late it gotten all of the sudden. my eyes that still burnt from earlier then began to glance around the room, the first thing they fell on was the suitcases. then reality set back in; i felt sick and heartbroken all over again. these circumstances made me want to rip my hair straight out.

i needed a change of mind, or even better, a temporary distraction. sitting in this room wasn’t good for me. actually, sitting in this house wasn’t good for me. so what do i do? get out. i mean i didn’t even have to sneak out, im sure if they found out i was gone they’d be relieved. plus, they knew id come back, and i hated that they knew just like i did that i had nowhere else to go.

but i didn’t go out often. so if i did actually follow through with my plan, where would i go? and thats where joseph comes in. with my phone in my hand again, i unlocked it and navigated straight to my messages; immediately finding his contact name. i sent a desperate but vague message to him so we could meet up at the park- and thank God he sent one back to tell me he was already there. looks like the odds are in my favor after all. i just don’t know how he’d react to this news.

i practically hopped out of my bed and shoved my phone in my pocket. i reached for my black jacket that was casually thrown across the headboard of my bed, and made my exit out the window. as expected, the cold breeze almost immediately hit my skin despite the jacket i wore. was almost enough to make me turn back around and get back in my room. fortunately, i was stubborn since birth.

once i made it out of the window; i closed it back. this was my first time sneaking out in a while so i’m glad i still had my stealth after 3 years. if i had to brag, its gotten better. anyways the walk from my house to the park was arguably short. it only took 5 minutes and the best part was that i didn’t seen anyone from school. i was also pretty surprised ayana didn’t hear and come in my room, but then again my door was closed so she probably couldn’t even hear the window.

and finally, i was at the park. joseph almost immediately caught my eye since he looked so out of place. a tattooed 19 year old on a set of swings met for playing. i should’ve snapped a picture- it was quite ironic. i sighed of relief once i saw him nonetheless and sat next to him, beginning to swing slowly while the structure creaked. evidently this park was quite old and worn down for lack of better words.

he looked at me sideways- a ‘you serious?’ look was on his face. he didn’t appreciate my prolonged announcement i assume. seemed like he automatically knew i was here to talk about something. “i know you didn’t just ask me to meet up with you for no reason. what’s the word?” his tone sounded kind of.. irritated. but skeptical at the same time. he naturally sounded like that, but something told me he was angrier. looked like the whole world was irritated today.

“sorry. uhm.. so, i asked you here to ta-“

“duh. iyana- speak up. i’m not here to play around with you. cmon. i got better things to get to.” well. if he wasn’t irritated earlier, he is now. “…alright. i’ll just cut to the point. apparently, my parents just notified my earlier that when i turn 20, im marrying some dude named … xavier? it’s- arranged. utterly ridiculous, in my op-“

smack! he slapped me. the meanest backhand i’ve probably ever received. the first one, too.

“a lie. don’t play with me. sittin’ up here, calling me out here in this worn down park. to tell me some lies.” he sharply replied as soon as he retracted his hand. the audacity he had to just act like that didn’t even happen. me, on the other hand, was too stunned to even reply. i was beyond shocked, probably aghasted. and that shock settled deeper as i felt something cold run out of my nose, and i knew good and well that wasn’t snot. he’s never hit me before. not on purpose, atleast. despite how aggressive he is. and with how hard he did it, i’m more than sure it left a mark.

“i’m-… i’m not lying..” i mumbled in confused fear as i wiped my nose with my other hand. reality began to set in. this is what everyone around me was telling me. i should’ve known better to mess with someone 4 years older than me. why did i allow this to go on for so long? what my mom said earlier replayed in my head- the truth. ‘joseph isn’t right for you.’ i almost felt bad for trying to argue back with them, but then again, i wasn’t marrying a stranger, so a part of me didn’t feel that guilty.

he didn’t say anything back. he simply just stared at me. blank face. that same intimidating resting face he wore 24/7. but i was too scared to look at him back- especially since i didn’t know what he was thinking. yet, i felt like if i stayed any longer, it’d be a full on abuse session. and i wasn’t looking for this day to get any worse. he looked at me for a few more seconds and just as i was about to get up, he finally said something.

“you do know this is all your fault right? your just stupid. probably cheating on me with that dude, right? is that what it is? your lying to me. saying your gonna marry someone else ‘cause your cheating on me with him. just a way to avoid our relationship. huh? “huh?” he stood off the swings and stood right in front of me, looking straight down at me as he spoke. he looked calm, but his voice (and evidently his hands) were anything but. i suddenly didn’t like this aggression..

i got up from the swings as well so i could look at him better. “n-no. no i didn’t know- im sorry there’s.. nothing i can do. i dont even know him you gotta believe me.” well for once he didn’t interrupt me.. i remained true to my story as one of my hands stayed planted on my cheek where he slapped me. it was basically glued there. my fear was apparent in my words and expression, i thought he was gonna hit me again. which he did.. or- tried.

this man full on swung at me. a more than painful right hook if i didn’t move back. and with how quick it was, it seemed he tried to catch me off guard with it too. once i moved back, i stumbled backwards also. i tripped over the swing that i was sitting in and fell back in the grass; getting up quickly incase i had to run for my life. he slowly walked towards me as i backed up more and more- adrenaline rush in my body almost made my steps wobbly.

“go.” was the only thing he said. and i straight up ran. i was so glad he didn’t know where my house was located, but if he payed attention to where i was running i had no doubt he could’ve found out. i didn’t stop running, ignoring the way my legs burned, and i also ignored the notification on my phone. i predicted it was either from ayana or joseph though. the reason why i didn’t stop running was because i felt that if i stopped for even a second, i was gonna be beaten beyond comprehension.

those 5 minutes i took to get to my house felt like 5 hours even though i was running. the fear in my heart made it feel like i was running through an endless forest i suppose. and finally- i stopped running once i made it under my houses carport. my legs ultimately gave up on me and i fell backwards on the concrete, my mind reliving everything that just went down. i even tried pinching myself, praying i was dreaming but no. this day was real.

i stayed on the concrete for a minute as i ruminated todays events before i realized someone literally texted me earlier. pulling out my phone from my pocket, i checked the notification center on my lock screen. it was from joseph. 34 unread messages. this is beyond insane- bizarre.

i was too sick to my stomach at the moment to read them. instantly shutting my phone off and shoving it back in my pocket; i wobbly snuck back in through my bedroom window and fell straight onto the floor. my legs were too exhausted to make another step. i was still angry, but i knew i had to get things right with my parents. and judging by the fact that adrenaline in my body made my legs shake, i texted my mom instead.

waiting upon their arrival i just stayed on the floor. besides recalling the factors of tonight, i thought about what would’ve happened to me with that attempted swing he tried earlier if it hit me. critical condition is all i could say. also slightly confused on why i didn’t fight back. i wasn’t nobody scary, but i figured that it was because i wasn’t in the right mind to fight- it was only flight.

the door to my bedroom swung open with a deafening creak and my eyes lazily glanced up at the expressions of my parents which switched from neutral to complete worry. they rushed over to my side, my mom kneeling down in front of me and my dad right next to her. they asked me all kinds of questions- one’s overlapping another. even after i talked back to them, they still showed concern. i was surprised for some reason.

my weary body sat upright, a lazy smile of reassurance on my face as a line blood still rested above my lip. “don’t worry, i’m gonna explain.” i mumbled and then sighed; mentally gathering my thoughts and how to start off.

“..okay. about my face. i snuck out to go see joseph when woke up from my nap.. and he backhanded me.” my parents expressions shifted to one of anger, my mom running the back of her hand on my cheek slowly, almost like i was a porcelain and fragile doll or antique item. “sweetheart. why didn’t you call the police?” she then asked.

“you have a bruise on your face and everything..” a bruise? looks like that backhand actually did leave a mark. my eyebrows furrowed and i touched my cheek where i got hit. sure enough it was sore and there was a knot on my cheekbone. my dad saw it too, judging on his expression, and he instantly began dialing the police. i would’ve stopped him, but the way i just got hit earlier? i held a grudge. especially with that attempted left hook.

“i don’t know. i was scared, i guess. plus i ran as fast as i could to get here.. and i know realize that the whole arrangement thing is better than joseph.” i knew they did it to protect me. but it still didn’t sit right with me. why couldn’t i just have picked my own partner? forcing someone to go with someone they don’t even know just isn’t right. so i knew, but i didn’t know at the same time. it’s still ridiculous.

“that’s right honey. and we did this to ensure your future.” my mom assured- yet it fell on deaf ears. okay, so what if this man i’m marrying when i get 20 also ends up abusing me? i just didn’t like it. but i didn’t feel like arguing anymore. i wasn’t accepting it, ‘course not. and they knew that. i just didn’t feel like pleading my case anymore. i was too exhausted.

my parents got all my bruises covered and cleaned after a while. thankfully we skipped the “resolution” talk and the “i’m sorry” talk. i don’t feel like hearing the lame excuses. you can look at it from upside down, left or right, even inverted. this arrangement makes no sense. and i wont like it til the end of time. i got done showering, talking to police, eating, and unpacking my bags from my.. ‘episode’ earlier.

it was about 8 P.M. and i snuggled comfortably in my bed. my legs were beyond sore, plus my stamina was more than gone. it was probably in the negatives now. so i was already snuggled in bed, scrolling through my socials before i got ready to sleep. during my mindless checking frenzy, i checked my messages and i saw them. the messages joseph sent me earlier.

the last one he sent was “bye.” i could only assumed he blocked me or something. i scrolled up to see all of them, and they literally were just manipulating me with some threats sprinkled here and there. some were about how it was my fault he hit me, he’d do it again, accusing me of cheating which made no sense.. he was ridiculous to say the least.

glad i was finishing with that chapter of my life though. he was probably taken by the police as of now. so i didn’t have to worry about him for the rest of the years he was locked up.

present day. june 6th, 11:59 P.M.

“3… 2… 1… happy birthday twins!!” giggles, shouts of mutual happiness, and hugs surround my sister and i as we sat on the edge of the bed in the decorated suite hotel room with a small, portable table in front of me, and two cakes made especially for our birthday. don’t get me wrong, i was grateful. especially because i’ve been alive long enough to see another year. but this birthday was anything and everything except for synonyms of happy. i was turning 20, and getting married to a stranger tomorrow.

the truth of it all set in quicker than light, made me wish i could turn back time 5 years ago to corrupt my parents mind while they were signing those papers. it was ridiculous. bonkers. wild. whatever you wanna call it. it wasn’t normal. yet i masked it well, the fact that i was dreading this new age and new chapter of my life with a warm smile. after the momentary celebration and the cake eating, i pulled my mom and dad out to the balcony for a one-on-one conversation.

it was common sense i couldn’t backtrack now. that paper was signed once i was 15, and if i wanted her to shred those papers or anything i should’ve done that at 15. not the day of. but i just needed a sense of clarity. someone to hear me. “okay so guys.. i know im getting married tomorrow- or today, since i turn 20 today.. but do you think we could prolong it til the day after my birthday?”

“unfortunately we cannot sweetie. everything has been said and done when you were 15 back in 2015. the only thing we can do now and get you ready.” my dad said- but i’m everything but ready. i don’t want this to happen. i don’t even know what the dude looks like. hope he’s fine.. anyways, i sighed and shrugged, stepping back inside and sitting next to my friends and sister at the small table in one of the four chairs: essence, ayana, and jordyn. i tried to mask my internal turmoil and disappointment, but they read me like an open book every time.

“…don’t give us that look. what’s wrong? it’s our birthday!” ayana gave me a reassuring but concern smile- moving some blue curls from my face and fixing my eyelashes. i giggled a little and shrugged, stumped about these crude circumstances. “i know.. but y’all do know im getting married today, right?” i said slightly dreadfully as understanding looks replaced their concerned faces.

“oh yeah.. well try to look for the positives. everything is for reason- maybe he turned out to be your soulmate or something.” essence said with empathy; she was always my go-to when emotional conflict happened between me and anyone. unlike most people, i actually listen to her when she reassured me. and this time was no exception: maybe this was for a reason. but then again, why against my own will? the whole situation messed with my head even now.

i sighed, “you might have a point. i’ll stay open minded. but i don’t know y’all. there’s nothing i can do though. i just hope they don’t expect a child..” i mumbled the last part humorously but with all honesty. i never wanted children despite my love for them. and that resistance to birthing my own kids doubled if it was with some dude.

“reasonable.” ‘yana giggled along with everyone else. “i don’t know girl. your giving.. ungrateful. plus i think you should go back to joseph. but this new man might spoil you girl!” she said the forbidden name. nobody mentions him. his code name is redacted, forever. not with ayana though. and everyone knew she shouldn’t have said that when they saw my expression shift.

“we don’t mention his name. remember?” i responded with a hint of irritation. there’s no way she didn’t say that on purpose. we all collectively as a group know what he did, and for her to even say i should’ve went back is twice as disrespectful. she stupidly laughed and muttered a half-hearted ‘my bad.’ nothings funny.

to ignore it all i stood from the table, announcing i was about to go for a walk while i asked ayana if she wanted to join me. i had to prepare my mind as soon as possible, and id had to do twice as much preparing on tomorrow. she agreed and we walked out the hotel as the cool air hit our skin and blowed through our hair. there was a boardwalk not too far from the hotel, so that’s where we were.

we were silent for a moment, but we both shared the same thought process i knew. it was like we were telepathically communicating. “..this is kinda crazy.. no? i’m getting married at 20. and you aren’t. how lucky..” a part of me always looked at my parents funny for their crazy decision. what even.. how?.. why? what possesses you to do something like that? even if you are trying to protect me, it never gets that serious.

ayana agreed and looked up at the moon, her purple, curled hair blowing in the wind. she shared sympathy for me. it made my heart ache and she wasn’t even the one in this experience. in another life, if i get a sibling that isn’t like ayana… i might murder them. “i get it. it must be hard. especially when it’s not even for a clear reason.”

“right? like no money is involved, no monarchy situation, it’s just because. ‘we’re doing this to save you’ yeah well you’re killing me. but then again, id probably be stuck with joseph.” being stuck with joseph would be a horrible situation for me. i wanna punch myself in the eyes everyday when i remember i dated him. then again, i wonder why my parents actually agreed to letting me go with someone 4 years older. isn’t that a case??

it wasn’t like i could see what the man i was marrying looked like. i never got a picture after all these years. and as if ayana read my mind, she said, “do you even know what he looks like? i found his facebook.” thank God for twin telepathy. i instantly snapped my neck in her direction and held my hand out, basically telling her to slide me that facebook. i had to make sure i wasn’t slamming the coffin even harder if he was ugly. not saying that it would matter in a regular situation but… you know what, shush.

she giggled and tapped on her phone, opening facebook to navigate to his account and put the phone in my hand. i looked through his account for a while. he didn’t really post much, but when he did, it was eye candy. he wore glasses, darkskin, had tattoos… a lot, dreads, nice facial features.. made me audibly gasp when i saw him. “so this is him? looks good.” i kept it casual and slid the phone back to her. but her and i both knew i wanted to say that he looked more than good.

“now you know you wanna say he’s fine.” she shoved my shoulder in a playful manner which made me dramatically stumble. “no no.. he looks good. that’s it.” and i answered in mock maturity. however, his looks didn’t change anything about how i felt. i wasn’t ready and i will never be; i was still young for crying out loud. i had so much of life to experience, and now i’m suddenly someone’s wife. i swear i was just in highschool..

we returned to a comfortable silence until ‘yana spoke, a similar serious tone. “do you want me to check jordyn? what she said was out of line. i almost punched her myself.” and a ring in my ear sounded when she says jordyn as i remembered what she said earlier after we were eating our cake. it filled me with annoyance. how could she say it so casually too? i kept my composure through it all, with a shake of my head.

“no, it’s fine. well- you can. but if you do. be nice. she’s gonna have to prepare for me, too.” ‘cause i wasn’t gonna let that slide. ‘yana looked at me in intrigue after i said that, trying to hold back her giggle. she was in store for an adventure.

eventually we began to head back to the suite, where momma was cleaning up and essence and jordyn were already gone to their respective rooms. since we had a big day ahead of us tomorrow and momma advised us to go ahead and get some rest, so ayana and i had to get settled. once we were in the bathroom innocently taking off our lashes, i placed mines on the bathroom counter and my eyes involuntarily glanced at everything makeup related i needed for my wedding tomorrow. wedding. wedding. i didn’t agree to this.

i stared at it all a bit too long, overthinking everything. ayana noticed i was a bit too silent despite the fact we were both quiet and looked over at me- seeing my teary, dazed eyes while i stared at everything necessary for tomorrow. she instantly knew what i was thinking about. ‘yana put her hand on my shoulder and looked at me through the mirror.

“hey- it’s okay. stop. you’re thinking about it way too much. let it all work out.” but all i could do was think about it. how could i not? i don’t even want this. it made a single tear run down my cheek and stop at my jawline. i quickly wiped it to maintain my demeanor with a muttered ‘it’s fine;’ i hated crying in front of people. we finished up in the bathroom and returned to the suite that was completely cleaned and lights dimmed while the TV played ‘martin.’ the comforting aura almost made me forget it all. momma was already gone back to her room with dad.

ayana and i sat in our beds, she was scrolling on onstage and i was already laid down on my side with my bonnet on, ready for sleep. even though we remained casual and netural, a sense of unresolved tension weighed heavily in the room. “skylar, i got you.” ‘yana softly called me by my middle name to show her seriousness, and a warmth spread throughout my chest. one to make my eyes water instantly. i’m glad i was facing away from her..

“yeah, thank you, ‘yana.” i muttered back; hiding the slight cracking in my voice that i just knew she picked up on. something told me a tender smile was on her face and her heart ached also, but i could be wrong. with that, she stopped scrolling and put her phone on the charger. getting underneath her covers to lay down and sleep.

𐙚 don't copy anything from this story. this is all my original work, thoughts, and storyline. credit will be given where credit is due if i get inspired.

#angst #slow burn #arranged marriage #𝒽eavenly written. ♡

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wc-confessions · 2 years ago

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mods dont have to post this, i am just very angry right now. id understand if this is controversial. i just want someone to hear this.

i just got off of wcue. i was a spectating. there was someone in the clan named w//ndigowisp. i am not good at confrontation, but being a native who sees ca like this every day of my life (literally.) i had an urge to actually say something. this has been something that has bothered me for a very, very long time. it is extremely personal to me.

my friend and i approached them as kindly as possible to inform them about the issue with their name. i was gentle with my wording- i know not everyone knows about the weight behind it. i know some people do not do well with being confronted.

and instantly we were told that they "knew what they were doing," and that we were making them uncomfortable. my friend pointed out that i, a native, have to be uncomfortable with this almost all the time. we were told that it did not matter because it was fictional, even though cultural appropriation extends beyond warrior cats.

after they were told that i am a native, they started going on about how rude and mean i was being. it was at this point they were prioritizing their own comfort over respect for native culture.

the person with the name asked their friends if they could serverhop because they were getting anxious. one of their friends told me to die (through the euphemism "go to starclan") right before they left.

my friend left, but i did not. someone had politely asked for a little more elaboration after overhearing our conversation.

after that, someone brought their gaggle of friends over. 3-4 of them. they were telling me that they were cherokee, and that it was chronically online to be uncomfortable with this. all i had asked for was for them to respect native culture. i was told that i am stupid and sad for caring about this. i was told to 'let people enjoy things.' it is not just the name i am upset with. as i said before, cultural appropriation extends beyond warrior cats. ca is the last step of colonization.

you could argue that there are bigger issues. i agree. but there is nothing wrong with being uncomfortable with cultural appropriation (i cannot believe i have to say that), and you should not go after other natives for it. i did everything i could to be kind, but i am still painted as awful and mean.

i wish i could say wcue is not always like this. in my own personal experience, anti-indigenous racism runs rampant there. i have blocked most racists i see. my blocklist is almost full- roblox has a limit of 100 users. only about 10-20 are from before i started blocking them.

again, mods don't have to post this, but i am still very hurt and very angry. sorry for the long post. if, by any chance, any of those people see this- i am sorry, but i'm not going to swallow my discomfort and hurt for the sake of white comfort.

as someone who was raised to believe in the spirit in question, it IS disrespectful to be using the name - i was told from a young age to never speak the name of it due to its nature and how it will bring misfortune to both myself and my people (and because of this, i go out of my way to avoid using its name, even if censored)

i dont think these people realize that not all native americans share the same beliefs, either. there are very specific groups who believe in this spirit, primarily those of us who are from canada, the great lakes, and the appalachians (i don't believe the cherokee nation is a part of this particularly grouping, but correct me if im wrong!). that name should not have been used or even encouraged to be used. it reeks of a lack of respect for many native american cultures and cultural appropriation

having a complaint about that spirit's name being used is not "chronically online" - there is a very real and genuine belief that usage of the name will bring evil to you, and this belief has been around since before chr*st*pher c*lumbus even came to the americas. it feels like most people think "chronically online" means "bipoc bringing up racism" nowadays because they feel entitled to speak over us (as always)

i'm very sorry you had to deal with those people, anon. i myself would've been extremely paranoid about the encounter, and you have every right to be upset over what happened. i hope you are well

-mod ashensky

#confession #anonymous #warrior cats #anti indigenous racism #tw racism

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ghost--girlfriend · 10 months ago

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I NEEEEEED to know more about you and Marlet!! Me and my boyfriend (Stars) are DYING to know!!!!

Eeehehehe!!!!!! Okay, lots of this is subject to change(currently rewatching utyellow pacifist with my s/i in mind for her story ^_^) but here's what I'm thinking!

For my self insert im going with my mermaid monster utdr sona :)

I only have this (digital and colored, gotta lotta sketches)pic for her, changing up her outfit cause this is from back when I used to ship with Susie. A reel cutie, but has those big claws to watch out for! I'm thinking she lives in waterfall, and goes to visit a snowdin friend... where she sees the most charming bird girl!

Lily(might change her name?) Is just. Instantly smitten with Martlet. Turns to her friend going 'who's that beautiful lady...?' And her friends just like. 'You mean Martlet? She's kind of kooky, the local royal guard.' Lily just doesn't even hear the kooky part just like stars in her eyes awestruck

The friend visit concludes and Lily is on her own exploring snowdin. Martlet is going around checking puzzles when she notices, hey, there's somebody new in town!

Martlet swoops down and introduces herself ^_^ lily in her head is just. Oh my gosh not only do I see a cute girl today I get to TALK with one !?!! Just when their conversation really gets going, Martlet has to return to work/checking puzzles and they say goodbye.

Lily is kind of like. Wow.. whole days been made. Maybe even week!(lesbian who doesn't get out much so this was a big deal to her)

Martlet is happy to meet another kind-hearted monster and returns to work with a pep in her step! They start writing letters to each other and soon enough Lily visits snowdin again :) they're both glad to have a friend.

id like for things to get more spicy(in the dramatic way) but i dont have any ideas for it just yet! I know that Lily wouldn't be in UTyellow too much, she'd probably have a little shop after interacting with Clover some(I imagine she'd be self conscious that her wares weren't good enough, but seeing Clover so bravely facing the Underground inspires her! Then you'd learn some more about her with shop dialogue and her crush on Martlet(that shes horrible at hiding haha) and then, sense she chills in a river, Clover could ask her for a ride like the riverperson maybe? im spitballin' idk!)

I'd like for her to have an intro cutscene(sketched it out!) where she pops up(after being all ominous and spooky ftgyh) greets clover(as shes trying to be more social, which she mentions) and then just '.... OH! Are you.. A human? I should... I should... Fight you! I think!?" something like that. THEN BOOM FIGHT !!!!! mostly because i like thinking about attack patterns though i only have two attacks for her so far tygujhk I'll have to think of another outfit for her too..! I'm thinking swimsuit top but I dont wanna portray Lily as overtly sexy, maybe I'll go with the whole 'mermaid top fused with her tail' look that Ursula in the little Mermaid has.... I'll have to think about it more :] THANKS FOR ASKING <333 !!!!! working on developing more for me and Martlet's story!

#asks #🌹 romantic f/os 🌹#🌹 heart aflutter 🪽#🌼 my art 🌼#<- i guesssss i mean there are some new to this blog doodles at least!

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pwnyta · 7 months ago

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Genshin character Judgement after all these years of playing. I will judge looks, personality, and say my favorite voice! Now with 5-stars, alphabetical order.

(under the cut)

Still a goofy ass design. WHY DIDNT THEY JUST GIVE HIM PANTS? I dont understand. He'll probably never get a costume either since NO ONE FUCKING HAS HIM LMAO. His lore & personality are S-tier tho. Love his relationship with Klee and the brief time he was with Cyno.

I like all his VAs except his CN voice which makes him sound like... 8? girl what? Another rare L for CN casting director.

I fucking love Alhaitham. Hes such a dick.... but hes only a dick to people who step on his toes... which I think is fair. His design is terrific. i did have some pretty high hopes for him... and still kinda do since his design is so sus... but right now his lore is pretty underwhelming. Also hes one of those characters Id think look significantly better with a darker skin tone. Pasty bitch.

I like all his voices but JP is my favorite. KN is a close second.

SEE HYV you can make a sexy character that doesnt randomly show skin in weird places... Funny that. Arlecchino is great. Her lore is great, her personality is great, her design is great, her colors are great. Thumbs up all around.

Her voices are also great! I especially love how masc her JP voice is. Killin it as usual Father.

Ayaka... overall gets a resounding MEH from me.

I like her JP voice best. Which I guess is appropriate!

MY MORTAL ENEMY. never speak to me or my son (Venti) again. (I do like his relationship with his sister and Itto)

They could never make me like you Ayato. (I actually like all BUT his JP voice)

Baizhus design is so pleasant. However I saw someone say it looks like he accidentally put his clothes in the dryer and they shrunk.... and thats all I can think when I see him now. LMAO.

His EN voice is my favorite... I swear i thought he'd be shadier than he is because his voice reminded me so much of James from Pokemon or Pegasus from Yu-Gi-Oh... LMAO I dont even have to listen to his other voices... his EN just cracks me up. His CN voice fits his personality significantly more tho...LMFAO

OOH CHIORI. I dont really care for most of the Inazuma cast TBH... but DAMN Chiori... its like she took all the good design with her to Fontain. Whyd she do that to them. Shes also a BITCH. Its so funny. There was a dude crying because he was grateful for something (I dont remember) and this bitch said '...EW' and I fuckin lost it. Shes so good. GEO never misses with characters its crazy. Geo characters are either perfect aesthetically or personality or lore... most of the time ALL OF THEM (with the exception of Albedo who looks like a fuckin dork but his personality and lore S-tier)

I like all but her JP voice. But her EN voice sounds the bitchiest and its my favorite.

Another design where I saw the concepts and was completely disappointed by the design they chose. Honestly if they didnt go with this blue-purple color palate I probably wouldnt even dislike it... BUT HERE WE ARE. Her personality is great tho and her story with Navia is... *chef kiss*

All her voices are pretty good. I like her KN best! Rare W for KN!

THE BABIEST. I know Ive said this before and I will say it again... buy Cyno is the babiest. I love an Anubis theme. I love the colors. I ADORE his personality. It makes me so sad... in the Windblume festival he said his subdued personality is from when he was a child and the people would judge him for being from the desert region... and that he only tells jokes to people considers his friends... but all his friends dont like his jokes and get annoyed with him. Why do they do this to him... he also has a little tree branch he only brings his friends to... HES SO FUCKING CUTE. The fact a good chunk of the fandom characterize him as some tough dom daddy for Tighnari is fucking DIABOLICAL work. Never talk to me of my son ever again.

All his VAs are good but his CN is best.

Ya know what I JUST said... ANYWAYS DEHYA IS THE BABIEST. She is so god damn cute... and she looks so rough and tumble... I love that shes a girly girl at heart and her relationship with Candace is CRAZY work. HYV did me SO god damn dirty when being sent off to Fontaine by her... and she was so sad... I would NEVER leave her. My sister be damned.

I love all her voices! EN is my fav tho. It reminds me a lot of Beidou.

Oh Diluc... my former enemy turned ally. I dont like how he treats Kaeya... BUT it turned out a lot of my aggression for him was because I was scared Qiqi would be the last standard 5-star I would get.... & it would take forever to get her... tbf it did take until Zhonglis 3rd? banner before I got her. And I got her WITH Zhongli and I have never been happier playing GI. Zhongli saved Diluc for me. I hope you appreciate that man Diluc. I also didnt mind that I got him instead of Chiori.... I wanted Chiori significantly more but... w/e. ANYWAYS great colors, great lore. If he stopped being a dick to Kaeya we might get somewhere with him.

I like all his voices except JP where he sounds much younger... and I dont like it.

Now I dont think Eis design is bad in the least but she just looks like every other female character in Inazuma. In fact she basically has the same exact silhouette as Kokomi but I like Kokos design better. They also kinda dropped the ball on her whole character... Shes never recovered from her second story for me. Still my least favorite Archon. I do like her relationship with Yae tho.

All her voices get a MEH from me. KN is best I guess.

UGH. Some of her concept art was SO FUCKIN GOOD... and this is what we got... smdh. I liked her puppy idea the best... cuz shes a perfumer and also works for the cops... I just think that concept was fun.

I dont know her voices either but HER EN IS DEFINITELY MY LEAST FAVORITE. IM SO SURE OF IT.

I had a hard time warming up to Eula... I found her SO annoying in her quest and her constant 'At least LUCK doesnt discriminate due to clan' or some shit just irritates me... like... GIRL. Your clan was slave owners and theyre still shitty... just fuckin disown them and start a new life bitch. Her relationship with Amber is very cute tho and her design is great.

I dont really care for ANY of her voices but especially JP...

Furina is one of those characters that are annoying but its still hard to hate her cuz shes funny. (Like Fish) and i really didnt like her at first until her story played out... my poor hapless bitch. You didnt deserve any of that.... her design is great. I like her dark outfit significantly more than the light so Im glad its the more useful mode. Her relationship with Neuv is also just terrific.

Much like with Fish... her EN voice is best for me because its so dramatic and comically annoying. All her other voices make her sound way too young for my tastes.

I love Ganyu! I guess shes also in the running for sleepiest girl with Layla and Sayu. Shes super cute... I do have a lot of issues with her outfit design... just cuz it doesnt even look like an outfit. Thank goodness she got a costume... not that I have it but I also dont have her and I would never pull for a Bow DPS 5-star so i never WILL have her LMAO. Still love her to death tho.

All her voices are good! KN is probably my favorite.

I think Hu Tao is one of the best designs in the game. Its so simple but so effective. Shes so cute and cheeky. Love her. Her personality is also top tier. Im so happy she had such a confrontational relationship with Baizhu... cuz that was my headcanon for the longest time LMAO Cuz shes a funeral director with a massive respect for the life/death cycle and he wants to find a cure for death or someshit.... They had to have some sort of clash. And they did. It reminds me of that one Jojo meme.

I LOVE Hu Taos EN voice and her JP voice is also fun. Her CN and ESPECIALLY KR (have I been puttin KN this entire time...) voice sounds too babyish.

MY MANS ITTO. Such a fuckin idiot. His design and character are great its just a shame... when he was first leaked his model was super tall (way taller than Zhongli) which fits how people describe him in game but they pussied out and gave him a standard male design. We coulda had it all Itto.

I dont need to listen to the other VAs Ittos EN VA is just the best. The only way anyone else could have competed is if the JP voice was the same VA as Franky from One Piece.

I used to really like Jean.... but I dont really care for her anymore. Tho I think she looks better in her censor outfit she still inexplicably has the detached sleeves....

All her voices are fine. EN and KR are probably the best.

Kazuha is unfortunately a victim to HYVs inability to implement good cloth movement in the game. The shorts look SUPER goofy but I guess its fine.... I think he'd look better with his hakama tucked in like Itto & Gorou rather than cut short... but W/e besides that his design is great. I like when characters dont exactly have the color of their element and the autumn maple leaf design of Kazu is great. His personality is also great. Super chill in even the most tense moments... with the exception for when Xinyans family were nitpicking her and he got annoyed. RELATABLE CONTENT.

4 good VAs for Kazuha you go Kazuha!

I have an EXTREME soft spot for Keqing... she was my first 5-star and she helped me so much on Dragonspine when I had no business being in Dragonspine. LMAO Detached sleeves aside I rather like her standard outfit but her costume is MUCH cuter and if I had the money... I would have bought it in a heartbeat. I also like her personality for the most part tho she does bully the shit outta you if you stop moving for .5 seconds.

All her voices are pretty good but I still have a soft spot for her EN....

Klee is SO DAMN CUTE. Does her pale skin hair and red eyes make her look like a bit of a troglodyte? YES. but.... I mean... w/e. Shes very cute. Shame about her kit being so fucking clunky. My greatest achievement is incidentally getting Kazuha instead of her... I wanted her for how cute she was but I needed a good Anemo so i figured a 5-star Anemo would be best.... so I got him instead. Then his universal appeal and fun play style really helped me for a long ass time and people begged for his rerun cuz they skipped him. NOT ME BITCH.... anyways Klee is baby.

I think Klees EN voice is one of the most egregious when it comes to the 'this is obviously a grown woman doing a baby voice' and it takes me awhile to adjust to it... but she does have moments when she shines... like the birthday song. Her CN voice is best.

As I said with Ei... Kokos design reminds me of hers but I think its stylized better. Combined with her in-game movements... I think shes one of the more interesting Ina designed girls. She does have a lot of HYV typical girl design elements tho.... Also her lore and personality really didnt meet expectations. SORRY KOKO. I am suspicious about her lack of pupils... Vishap ass lore ass...

I dont really like any of her VAs either...

This is just Albedo in a sluttier outfit. MEH. Lore and personality-wise hes actually great! I love his relationship with his family its really a stand out big brother (ok Hoebedo) vibes.

I dont really mind any of Lyneys voices... his KR VA stands out?

Mona my babygirl. I used to hate her based on her design. I just didnt like the swimsuit look... but like Fish I ended up loving everything about her and she got a censor outfit that is much better and now shes one of my favorite characters. Shes a goofy broad. Loved her in the 2nd Summer event.

Her EN voice is BY FAR my favorite.

My baby Nahida... youre design is so fucking boring.... and I knew that even before I saw your extremely good concept arts. Luckily her personality and lore HARD CARRIES her to top tier.... and also her kit. Her kit is also good... tho I dont get why she got a weird digital aesthetic? Theres so much good aesthetic designs in the Persian empire you could went with so much... howd she end up so boring... I dont get it.

No complaints for any of her VAs but CN is my favorite.

UGH... on the opposite end of designs... Navias is fucking TERRIFIC. I actually love the dark navy blue with this goldenrod. I like her Princess Peach hair especially since in this Summer event she wore a Peach like crown(and a Mario mustache) her Lore is SO GOOD. I knew when she was added to the Summer event cast it AT LEAST would be better than last year the writers have never missed with Navia. AND I WAS RIGHT I loved this years Summer event. I think her character is what Kokomis character coulda been(impact-wise) in Inazuma was good. LMAO

I dont mind her VAs but EN is my favorite!

Similar to Kazuha I sorta just incidentally pulled for Neuvillette since I had been saving to get Zhongli but my computer didnt come until the day after his banner ended so I was like ... fuckit. May as well get A dragon guy... turns out he was VERY good and I havent regretted it. I also managed to get his C1 and his BiS weapon... got super lucky as a reward for missing out on my C4 Zhongli that I had been waiting a year for...His lore and personality were a great surprise too. 10/10 would pull again.

I dont like JP voice... His EN voice is great but similar to Zhongli(hes SO SIMILAR TO ZHONGLI IN EVERY WAY) his EN voice gives a different vibe to his CN its weird. Theyre both so much more soft spoken... especially the fighting noises... whyd they do that? Weird. I love theyre EN voices tho so... w/e... at least they sound soft when theyre speaking normally.

...UGH.

UGH. (I actually didnt mind her in this years event... but Navia hard carried her)

Her CN voice is good.

MY BABY!!!! I wanted her for so long. Thank you Zhongli for bringing her to me!!! ;w; Shes so cute... I love her so much. I hope we get her story quest soon.... her colors are so good... I love cutesy Jiangshi designs ;w; the baby. I also first cleared the Abyss thanks to her!

Her CN voice is SO cute. But I like all her voices... I didnt like her EN voice at first but it has grown on me.

Part 1 END.

#GI tag.

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