#and actually make me self-reflect
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H, K, N, T, and W <3
H - What is your favorite source text for fandom stuff?
Oof. Um? Idk that I care so much about the source material as I do about the characters. I can make any source material work if Iām obsessed enough.
That being said, I like the vaguer boundaries (for lack of a better word) around movies and comics. Thereās a lot more room to play with a characters internal life and thoughts bc those things arenāt as clear in a more visual medium like a movie or comic. Shaping that for an existing character is probably the closest Iāll ever get to writing an OC.
K - What character has your favorite development arc/the best development arc?
You know Iām going to say Loki bc you got me hooked in the show. And Mobius, too. I think theyāre sort of inverse arcs. Loki finds his purpose and Mobius loses his, and itās so well-done and tragic and fascinating.
Also, I read a veritable fuckton of books and I know Iāve read some amazing character arcs in those but they tend to blur together. The one that sticks out to me rn is Evemer in A Touch of Gold and Iron bc itās a FANTASTIC representation of āenemiesā to āI worship you, I would die for you, use me like an attack dogā and I know you know how much I love that.
N - Name three things you wish you saw more of in your main fandom (or a fandom of your choice).
(1) More deeply considered kink scenes. This applies to most fandoms Iām a part of, I think. You and I have talked about this a lot. I justā¦ I get tired of reading kink relationships that are just some iteration of a submissive wet hole versus dominant fuck machine. Like yeah, okay, I read smut for the smut but also the relationship. Call me a romantic or whatever, I guess.
(2) Eddie grappling with the symbioteās need to eat brains. I think Iāve mentioned this before, but I feel like it gets left out of fic a lot. For obvious reasons, probably. If youāre writing about a guy getting dicked down by his alien goo parasite maybe you donāt want to deal with the in-world consequences of all that entails. But I think itās really rich soil to dig through and I wish more fics did it.
(3) Smut scenes that arenāt just penetrative sex. Not every likes or wants penetrative sex. Or has penetrative sex every time they fuck. What can I say? I like a variety.
T - Do you have any hard and fast headcanons that you will die defending?
That I would die for? Yeesh. I think Peter is a lot angrier than people let him be or give him credit for. Wade enjoys his job and would be sad (not to mention a massive fucking nuisance) if he gave it up. The body horror of both Venom and Deadpool are an integral part of their characters. (Damn. I should have put that in my above answer.)
But would I die for those? Maybe the body horror one. You know how much I love body horror.
W - A trope which you are virtually certain to hate in any fandom.
Teacher/student. (And usually boss/Secretary or employee.) Iām not going to get into why just, BLECH. No thank you. Next.
#ask game#love these questions#you always ask the hard one#and actually make me self-reflect#you monster
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fairest of the fair
#hi! im alive and back and etc.#six the musical#six the musical fanart#katherine howard#thinking of that post going 'i think eventually you become the person you needed most' and like maybe that's the thing with my art#this started out as a redraw and <improvement meme> i think i've finally reached the stage where i'm making the things that my younger self#aspired to create. like i can do this now! i've reached That level of technical skill! tiny me would be so proud. it's very gratifying#redraw from august this year actually. i've made a surprising amount of improvement HAHA maybe it was the adamandi stuff getting me#back into digital rendering. i think that obsession has quietly slipped away but yknow. one never truly leaves a fandom. just less intensit#also speaking of old fandoms! we're back with the six stuff haha. as of writing i'm in the midst of blog revamp- figuring out how to chill#multifandom status doesn't mean ditch all the old stuff ! but i do feel much freer and less stressed. i think hiatus has been good for me#notes on this piece particularly: redraw about cutting hair and thinking of the lyric above. also lowkey &j ref + pinterest poem excerpts#of female suffering. and maybe a dash of amanda heng let's walk inspo. this work is really just full of contradictions..#1. the mirror and cutting hair as an act of self liberation 2. the & is part of the lyric but also a nod to &j (in another iteration it was#pink but the white looked better) and like. &j is really all !!! girl power!!! etc. and i was like hmmmm. also matching pink shiny aes#3. the frame as a cage; the mirror as a self reflection idea (ie. saville's propped insp) but also as a sign of vanity. 4. sparkly costume#and pretty pose- read one too many poems about women feeling like they have to be pretty even in their suffering. something i wanted to#explore. and also in 5. the show itself... all you wanna do is. despite all the dancing and pink and sparkly the content of the song is#darker. and even though it's a story of her suffering it's still presented as a shiny fun pop song and ajshdhfhfh ok... 6. the lyrics fall#outside the frame. sort of a caught inbetween. sort of a trapped in the narrative and yet#within the frame it's all. vaguely handwavy breaking free vibes. like i said contradictions?#7. cutting off the long ponytail vs the pull my hair lyric at the end. yeah#8. the blocked off & looks a bit like scissors. positioned to cut right at the neck#anyways yeah irl remains hectic! but if i get around to more doodles they'll appear here :)
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there's nothing orym would ask of the other hells that he wouldn't do himself, which is sort of the problem, really
#critical role#cr spoilers#orym of the air ashari#bells hells#if you donāt have a homegrown curse you can use to your advantage (moon powers) storebought is fine (deal with a hag)!#and its not even sunk cost fallacy or feeling like he needs to make the deal worth it i think. this is just what he feels is necessary#and its his own self worth and the value he places on his own life vs the importance of this cause. reflected back on the others#how the rest of the hells have adopted this mindset but with wavering conviction and doubt - not really fitting quite right#while it fits orym like a glove. bc that's who he is. it's what he's been taught. bc this conflict is his past and his present#and as far as he's considered it. his future!#me this morning: i will not get back into orymposting. orymposting is the mind killer.#me now:#eta: i guess this could be disputed by him saying fearne would have to be the one to take imogen out pre-solstice.#but i've always seen that as a purely practical 'who would actually be capable of doing this' issue as opposed to sentimentality.#he was fully ready to cut dorian in exu. however he may feel about the act his resolve is not an issue!
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I hold so much love to the people for whom trauma has seeped away their perspective of time - warping and distorting it to where one can't feel time passing. Everything is moving simultaneously too slow and too fast - everything is a blur, and the only constant is the Trauma/s or trauma/s. You aren't just "you" anymore, but you are you and your trauma, and together, for better or worse, you walk as one.
I hope you are well, dear reader. May you find peace between yourself and the things that have happened. May you be permitted to feel everything you feel, for nothing is wrong with how you feel. I hope you grant yourself the space to be, that you may be able to do that because it's hard.
#mental health#mental health support#trauma#trauma tw#reflecting on some trauma feels right now#i feel it most accurate to say that i am not me but i am me and my traumatized self. it makes it easier to visualize#because i was too young to have gone through what i had and it just reminds me that it wasn't My Fault#so that last part in the first paragraph was kind of me recognizing that for the first time truly actually
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went to bed last night feeling that it was finally time to step back and let the dust settle and try to get things back to normal and then woke up to all that
#life#don't get me wrong i'm all for stepping back and starting over#i feel like people would be much more willing to give third or fourth chances if you just take responsibility#ACTUALLY own up to your mistakes (instead of playing the victim) and just say 'hey i fucked up i'm sorry i'll be taking a break'#for self reflection or whatever#all of us make mistakes all of us mess up and hurt others whether intentionally or not#it's human#yet i also feel like it's important what we do about it yaknow? you can't change the past but you certainly can the future#i believe we all can learn and grow from mistakes and become better#my naive dickhead ass wants to sincerely hope that he will change and get better#and choose being a respectful human being instead of chasing clout#but seeing how everything's been unfolding i fear that he will just go back to his old ways but will try to mask it better this time#hoping for starting over without doing the same old copy-paste stuff and being respectful#fearing it's just block-evading#anyway.. here's to hoping this will be the last of it
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i love it when comedians make media that is not strictly A Comedy. music, dramas, podcasts, whatever. they have such a way with words and the comedy bleeds into whatever they make. It's my favourite thing ever.
please gimme your faves, i want to know more writers like this
#writing#comedy#for me its bo burnham richard gadd ricky gervais#pretty sure theres more but i cant recall now#i think its probably the fact that they're (mostly referring to stand up comedians) pull from their own life when writing more than usual#they have to sort of make it more interesting than it actually is#idk just guessing#i guess i just really love fiction that is very obviously reflective of the authors life#when they dont try to inject some specific idea or moral into it and just put their real self into it#i just love how comedians tell stories man i love funny shit#but the funniest things ive seen were never COMEDIES yknow??? just people with good storytelling skills
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Video by shesasolarbeing on Insta cause apparently unlike TikTok they don't like putting watermarks for their creators. Go check them out!
Friend sent me this and my first thought was @kianamaiart 's magical girl series. Or rather, AIKA REAL??!?1?!1
#idk bout that last sentence i just thought the post needed a punchline. especially for the tangent im about to go on#seriously though seeing people do cool stuff makes me look at the reflecting art through a whole new lense like I have stars in my eyes#love love love when people express themselves in cool ways like this#it's like my previous ādressing crazyā post and all the tags on it. humanity and art and expression are so awesome i love it so much#people are cool man#okay now what actual tags do i put on this#...DO i put actual tags on this?#uhhh#i dont wanna be a magical girl#am i allowed to use that tag? idk hopefully ill be let know if not#black hair#self expression#expression#hair#people being cool#instagram#i regret putting the @ there lol. hate interacting with folks online unless its under my own post#feels like im pulling someone out of a conversation#but alas i want to send people to check out other cool peeps so i will bite the bullet#nobody pay attention to my tangents down here lol
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stopping by once again to say i am enamored with where you've taken the 666 series. BRO TRANS VOXšš one of your prev anons made me realize why ive been so arjfhfjjxhfjf about your portrayal of vox's identity like. it resonates with me so deeply (as in it isnt something he generally thinks about/wants to be an integral part of the persona he presents to other people). AND your exploration of al's asexuality is hitting a little too close to home as well. not sure if it's possible to put a spot on my kinlist for ONLY your 666 specific characterizations of these two
anyways sorry to ramble, very excited for the next update!!!
Ahahaha, I'm really glad it's resonated with you! I think there are just about as many different ways to be as there are people, and the dominant narrative that we tend to see online, while super valid, isn't necessarily always the most comfortable one for everyone! That's part of the fun of exploring different characters for me, especially when it comes to personal identity and how one feels about oneself.
Anyway, that's all to say: thank you! I'm very invested in trans Vox and I'm absolutely delighted that you're enjoying both him and Alastor's aroace experiences, and how both of those things intersect with them being, uh, absolutely deranged individuals, pfft.
#ask#personal#selfishshipper#t#I've been consistently getting messages to the tune of āthis made me genuinely consider my sexuality and have some personal realizationsā#re: being aroace spec#and I think I'd like a tally on my gravestone of those actually thanks!!!#really brings home how much of a difference it can make to just read about someone else's experiences (even a fictional person's)#cos let me tell you that's how I got most of MY wakeup calls to self reflect
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dust should have one of those mini zen gardens with all the sand and the little rake you use to make patterns but instead of sand its monster dust. specifically dust of people he doesnt like. how calming and tranquil this is as he puts a mini bridge and rocks and tiny tree into the garden filled with what's basically the human equivalent of blood!
#sand pit would also be funny. anything sand related can immediately be twisted#i WAS gonna say killer for this hc instead of dust but like....... idk#i just wanted dust to be a bit silly anyways. its his namesake he should get to play with it#it could also be a guilt thing. or self reflection. dust's time to mourn and judge himself. zen gardens ARE for inner reflection after all.#its like making a baby sensory experience with red paint except the paint is actually blood#horror is in disbelief and disgust once he figures out that shit is monster dust#how quaint! how sweet! how morbid#this is dust's version of an urn#urn sales in the utmv must be proportionally higher than here in our world#my favorite genre of utmv world building is figuring out what dust related products would be more highly valued#urns. dusters. vaccums. lint rollers (could that pick up dust?). what else#papyrus is like that pointing monkey with the rocks for the garden#yes yes brother place that rock right there.... and then the tree goes to the left. and now use the rake#its so silly so funny! the dust could be the dust of a previous killer and horror dust killed#he mustve REALLY not liked them. but also liked them enough to keep their dust. or maybe this is his way of taunting them after death? idk#mtt in a constant cycle of killing eachother/themselves/dying some other way and then replacing the dead with another version#anyways if all the mtt die i think someone (me) should mix their dust together#theyll never be apart now :333 forever trapped together and unable to distinguish what is themself and what is the other 2 :33 so kyute :3#today im gonna get my friend to watch underverse praying that she gets into utmv#i already showed her ink and she likes ink. i need her to like the rest of them. specifically a certain murderous trio#is this a rant of hc???? UGH!!!! i really need to figure out my own head. hc because its short#tricule hc#dust sans#should i tag the rest of the trio. i mention horrorkiller in tags.......... sure! it wouldn't hurt#i say as the bullet shoots through my skull and scrambles my brain#killer sans#horror sans#murder time trio#utmv#sans au
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did anyone think about kid keith tdš do u want toš
#SOMEONE PUT ME OUT OF MY MISERY FOR REALš¤£š¤£š¤£š NEED TO STOP THINKING ABOUT HIM PLEASEā¼ļø#I might make this piece an actual Thing btw. consider this the early draft ver tht i just needed to post to torture ppl with#see how happy he was!! see his smile!!! u will never see that version of him again that keith no longer exists anymore!! hes gone!!!#HE WAS SO INNOCENT HE COULDVE BEEN HAPPYYYYYY HE COULDVE HAD A GOOD LIFE WITH HIS SIBLINGS HE COULDVE-#anyways. fun note! older keith canonically hates looking in mirrors n @ his reflection in general hence why his eyes arent looking forward#unlike kid keith. who was always so self assured. who was always brash n never wouldve looked away from his own reflection. haha#killing myself!#keith yarrow#oc tag#my art
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Re: your mental health comic - I hope, if any of those characters are based on real hallucinations youve had, that you don't have them anymore. You're a good person who doesn't deserve to be talked to like that.
(Referencing this or this post, Iām not sure which)
Thank you so much for your kind words! The characters in those works are representations of actual hallucinations Iāve experienced. They were real nasty pieces of work, but I havenāt actually hallucinated one in a severe enough manner to talk to them in aboutā¦ Shoot. Hang on, I need to thinkā¦ 5-ish years now? I think? And the last time I did, I heard a brief sentence before I took some heavy-duty meds that knocked me out and took care of the hallucination by the time I woke up. Iāve gone through a lot of growth between now and then, and Iām now in a place where the only lasting legacy those losers have had is making me very good at abstract descriptions + personifications and self-reflection. Their cruel words are fuzzy and vague things that I barely remember.
Heck, I went through some old notes to remember some nicknames I gave them, and it was a blast from the past that I actually laughed at! They actually called me āless than worthlessā to the point I internalized and verbalized it many times? Wow. Thatās pretty cringe, guys. You spent your entire lives bullying a teenager. Cool. Now I love myself and forgot that was ever a mantra I recited at all times in my head.
I once had a project I was working on where I made a fictionalized autobiography set in a fantasy world starring a self-insert and these jokers. It was going to be a kind of field guide to hallucinations I experienced. I stopped working on it after a while because it was too painful for me to develop, as it was meant to dig deep into the pain and struggles I went through on a daily basisā¦ and now Iām looking back at it and considering making it a humorous story about how ridiculous my hallucinations wereā at least the ones with consistent personalities. Comedy equals tragedy plus time, truly.
I might end up posting some of the more solemn journal comics I made about these chuckleheads... It'd be weird to dig up my significantly older work, but I think it would do me some good and maybe be enjoyable / educational for others!
#figured i should reiterate this since I'm talking about schizophrenia again:#I won't be offended if anyone has questions they'd like to ask + would gladly answer pretty much everything you guys might be wondering!#anonymous asks are on if you're shy#but it's something i really don't mind talking about :>#heckā i actually can ramble for ages about my experiences if you get me on the right subject!#I always worry that people might be too nervous to ask genuine questions#And my hallucinations honestly usually read more as OCs to me nowadays than the spectral tormentors I once suffered under#i have so many jokes to make about these dopes it's not even funny#anyhoo. *holds up the Orange Boy* this dipstick loves mint chocolate chip ice cream for some reason#*points to the Black Clock* that jerkwad thinks intrusive thoughts are legitimately reflective of one's moral fiber#*points to the Red Woman* that heathen is in brain prison for unsolicited art critiques#*points to self* I put the āhotā in āpsychoticā#and with that#it is beddy-bye time for Sofies :)#honk shoo mimimimi#psychosis#schizophrenia#schizophrenic#schizophrenia art#psychosis art#stuff by sofie#sofie answers asks
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also no offense to me from a month ago (and two months ago and a year ago and maybe also two years ago and and) who thought everything in her life was going to be the death of her but actually. life is good. and i'm having a pretty nice time right now
#who would've thought!#fighting for my life to finish my thesis and graduate was actually worth it???#letting go of friends and that didn't appreciate me and holding on to the ones that do actually makes me happier????#doing a lot of what's it called self reflection? something like that lately and actually liking the results i get HUH
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your opinion on journaling?
I actually donāt think I would function without it. If anyone thinks that journaling has to be this pretty, elaborate process, just know thatās a misconception. Sometimes journaling just equates to a healthy outlet through which you can let your feelings loose. Ofc Iām also all for pretty scrapbooks and things of that nature (I really do wanna start a scrapbook myself). But there are so many times where not journaling for an amount of time actually stunted my growth & had me reaching an emotional ceiling.
I will say, one thing people donāt talk about is there is such a thing as journaling too much. Not every moment has to be reflected on and dissected in a journal entry. Thatās where the problem of being too self-aware comes fromāultimately resulting in you losing your in-the-moment mindfulness. So what I would recommend (and am working on myself) is finding that balance of living in the moment & not immediately overanalyzing it.
#there actually is a thing such as being too self aware#people even go to therapy for it#but itās not as known bc conventionally therapy is for making you reflect#just be careful not to burn out!#Iāve suffered this so I feel like this is the perfect time to mention it lmao#ask me my opinion on something
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#one of the things I have to be careful of this school year#is not putting all this pressure on myself to suddenly be wiser and more stable and more knowledgeable than I am right NOW#not to mention organized#my ambition with teaching has grown sooooo much as my teacher self has stabilized#like oh shoot. I want to be ACTUALLY good at this. not just getting by on personality or passion#but idk. that can just open up all sort of rabbit holes for me to fall down. where I panic about not knowing more or being a different kind#of teacher. like I just need to a) stay the course. b) make small changes to be more disciplined/try to teach writing/grammar a little bit#better. a little bit at a time.#because itās already such an overwhelming job#also on a more profound level I need to keep remembering itās not about me and asking God to guide me#because itās like. there are just suddenly a lot of eyes turned my way#in terms of just being like āyeah youāre a Real Teacher nowā#not that theyāre even saying it. but the kids have accepted it. the student body has accepted it#(benefit of staying in the same place for 5 years)#and so it is a whole new pressure#but yeah. I think not giving in to it and just trying to chip away at being more organized and more in-depth and a better communicator#and assessor#(sp?) and just yeah all of it#just reflecting. and rambling.
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@lemon-embalmer I need you to know that these tags made me laugh out loud. best most succinct description of her character in the world
#the entire end of her thieves guild questline and then a fair chunk of her time afterward is her systematically destroying everything#that she's built in this environment. and then going 'oh fuck I think I might want that back actually'#creating an obscene amount of work for herself to try to make up lost ground#'remember when I spat on your grief and trauma and all of your most important life choices. and worked with you to try to fix it all only t#tear it all from your grasp at the last second thus denying you any sense of satisfaction and catharsis'#'so I had one (1) moment of authentic self-reflection and realised that I don't think that was the best move for me. oops. so.#water under the bridge right'#'you did sell my soul so we kind of are bound together lifelong. that's on you man maybe you shouldn't have conned me'#she's my best friend :))) fuckin weirdo
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maturing is realizing therapy can only take you so far & that in order to really heal you need to participate in the world and let yourself love & be loved again. sorry.
#i was sad the other day about being borderline friendless for four years until i remembered that#i needed that time to heal & self reflect & grow & learn to value myself by myself#but remembering that i havenāt always been friendless is giving me the courage to actually try to make friends again :)
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