#and actually buck wanting ANYTHING to do with her after what she did to bobby is all stupid and made zero narrative sense

[inawickedlittletown]

Just Let Me Adore You (BuckTommy) - 5/8

Summary: What if…instead of Chimney taking the role of interim Captain of the 118, Tommy is asked to take on the role.

Or, what happens when Buck meets Tommy in S2

Words: 3.7k

Notes: Title from Adore You by Harry Styles

Read on Ao3

Part One

Part Two

Part Three

Part Four

-

Part Five

Ali brought him home and it wasn’t until they had made it through the door that Buck realized what a mistake it had been to sign that lease. No, he didn’t hate his apartment, had enjoyed it the weeks or so that he’d been able to actually enjoy it. It was just that his bedroom was upstairs. It was too bad his lease didn’t have a way for him to back out, not that it would have mattered because it wasn’t like Buck would be able to move out with the cast on. 

Ali didn’t invite him to stay with her, not that it would have made sense for him to. She had a roommate for one thing and for another it wasn’t like Ali hadn’t been sort of staying with him since he moved in. 

Maddie had already offered to bring him back to her apartment and he’d turned her down because he didn’t want to burden her with his care. Either way, Ali had been attentive and she had insisted on being around for Buck, even changing work plans. Had even told Maddie she didn’t have to take a day off to bring Buck home when his release conflicted with one of her shifts. 

All of it reminded him of how much he actually did like Ali and yet… 

Buck should have seen it coming. They had different expectations of what came next. 

That was the last string, but they both knew it had been a long time coming. Buck was reminded of that girl that Chim had been dating a while back and how she hadn’t shown up when Chim was in the hospital because she didn’t want to lie and stick around because Chim was hurt. But…that wasn’t Ali. She was kind and she did care about him even if maybe her eye had strayed to someone else — something they still hadn’t talked about. 

In the end, it came down to his job. Not just his job but the eagerness to which Buck wanted to be back at it. He had no idea what Ali had been expecting from him, how had she not known what she was getting into when she started dating a firefighter? Maybe it was the time spent apart and how little of his day to day Ali was actually aware of. He supposed it was similar to how he hadn’t known it wouldn’t be great to date someone that traveled so much. 

It didn’t even hurt, watching her walk away. Or maybe…maybe it was overshadowed by literally everything else. His physical pain. The ache in his chest at the thought that he may actually never get back to work. The doctors were optimistic about his healing, but it was still early days. Maybe whatever pain or disappointment existed from the break up was also taken care of by his meds. In some ways, Buck thought that he had been preparing for a break up for a while now ever since he realized he didn’t care if Ali wanted to date other people alongside him. 

Ali didn’t take long to gather her things. She pressed a kiss to his cheek. 

“I’m sorry,” she said. “And I really do hope it all works out for you. Keep in touch, alright.” 

Buck didn’t really think he would. 

After she left, Buck settled down in front of his tv, leg propped up, sure that he wasn’t going to find anything to watch. A glance at his phone showed him evidence that everyone was thinking about him. Well, almost everyone.

Eddie and Chris had sent a selfie. Hen a gif of a cartoon dog in a cast with “Get Better” floating over it. Maddie a text to let him know she was just a call away if he needed anything. Bobby telling him not to worry about dinner. Nothing from Tommy. 

A part of him wanted to call Tommy and ask him if they could have their next movie night, but that felt needy. It wasn’t like Tommy had even bothered to check in with him since the day he came for that abrupt visit at the hospital. 

Nothing but talk shows on tv made him turn to Netflix. Randomly he selected The Great British Bake Off. He didn’t even make it past one episode before his eyelids started to get heavy. 

Buck came to when he heard his door open. He saw Maddie a moment later when she rounded the stairs to find him. 

“Hey,” Buck said, groggy.

“Hi,” Maddie said. “How are you feeling?”

Buck made to get up.

“Stay where you are. Ali around?” 

Buck shook his head. He didn’t explain further and Maddie didn’t ask. She was going to find out eventually, but Buck didn’t want to deal with Maddie trying to make him go back to her place or even insisting that she stay with him. 

“Well, I brought you some lunch. Are you taking your meds on time? You know—” 

Buck let her rant. He barely listened and then let her fuss over him. His pillow was fluffed and she brought his food over to the couch. She brought down his blanket from upstairs as well as anything else that Buck might want. 

“I really wish you’d just come stay with me,” Maddie said, frowning at him. 

“I just moved out,” Buck pointed out. 

“You can’t even sleep on your own bed.” 

“My couch is comfortable,” Buck said. 

“It won’t be after the first few nights. You know it won’t.” 

“I don’t think I’ll be comfortable there or here with my leg in the cast,” Buck pointed out.

Maddie made a noise, but he knew her well enough to know that she wasn’t going to fight him on it when he was being that stubborn. 

“So, what are you watching?” 

The show had paused, asking if he was still watching. 

“Baking show,” Buck said. “Couldn’t really pick anything.” 

He’d also known that he would hate to fall asleep watching a documentary and miss something interesting. 

Maddie pressed play on the current episode. It was soothing in a way to watch the contestants bake in a tent with so much camaraderie. Maddie watched to the end of that episode and then through the next one. She left only after he’d taken his next dosage of meds and after she helped him to and from the bathroom as if Buck didn’t have perfectly good crutches to get around. At no point did she ask about Ali and Buck was glad he didn’t have to explain yet. 

“I’m just so glad you’re okay,” Maddie told him as she made sure he was settled on the couch with everything he might need within reach. 

“Me too,” Buck said. 

He was going to have a long way to go as far as recovery went. Months they said. First the cast and then PT and after that whatever it took to get back to work. 

After Maddie was gone, Buck almost wished that she had stayed longer because the silence that descended felt encompassing. The British accents from the baking show didn’t make up for it. He was sure that Maddie would have stuck around longer if he asked, but she probably thought Ali would be back, but she wouldn’t. Not ever. 

Eddie reached out, a text asking how he was doing, and an offer to stop by with Christopher on his next day off. Buck told him he looked forward to it. Athena called later in the afternoon and informed him that Bobby would be by with dinner when he was done with his shift. She kept him on the phone for a little while. It was nice. 

A few hours later, Buck had to get up to answer the door when Bobby arrived. It was awkward crossing his living room and past his table to the door. The crutches were going to take some time to get used to. 

“How are you doing, Buck?” Bobby asked as they walked to the kitchen. 

“Alright, I guess. Still getting used to the cast, but the pain meds are working.” 

Bobby got an odd look on his face at that and faintly Buck remembered that pain meds were where Bobby had begun his addiction after a bad injury on the job. 

“I’ll be careful,” Buck said. “Wean off them as soon as I can.” 

Bobby just gave him a short nod. 

“The department is reinstating me,” Bobby said. “We’ll all be waiting for you when you’re in the clear to come back.” 

Months of recovery, he’d been told. Buck had no idea how he was going to cope to be away from the job and from the people that he loved.  

“That’s great, Bobby. I’m glad.” 

Bobby nodded and smiled as he began taking things out of the paper bag he’d brought with him. Buck should have known that bringing dinner meant that Bobby was coming over to cook him dinner. 

“How did Tommy take it?” Buck asked, realizing that if Bobby was back at the 118, Tommy was no longer the interim Captain. “Is he, uh, is he going to take my spot while I’m out?” 

That would make sense even if the thought of anyone replacing him left a bad taste in his mouth. 

“No,” Bobby said. “He’s back at the 217.” 

“Oh,” Buck said and he didn’t know if he was disappointed or relieved. 

“Everyone is back where they belong,” Bobby said. 

Everyone but him, but Buck didn’t want to voice it. 

“You will too,” Bobby said, as if he knew what Buck was thinking. 

He didn’t dare ask anything else about Tommy especially since he hadn’t heard from Tommy since he’d still been at the hospital and maybe he was a little disappointed that Bobby didn’t tell him anything else. 

Buck settled himself on one of the stools at the island in the kitchen, careful of the cast. 

“So, what are we having for dinner?” 

—

Tommy did wait a day — okay, so his first shift back — before texting Hen to ask how Evan was doing. She told him about Evan getting discharged and then Hen invited him out to breakfast. Tommy had almost feared that going back to the 217 would be like when he’d originally transferred and that he wouldn’t have much contact with Hen, Chim, Eddie, or Evan. Instead, Eddie had already talked about coming over to help with whatever Tommy was tackling next with his renovation. He and Chim had even talked about drinks with everyone soon. It wasn’t going to be like the past and Tommy was glad. 

Of course, a lot of that had been his own blame. He pulled away in an effort to protect himself and figure out exactly who he was. It had been hard, the starting over aspect, but it had been freeing too. Maybe, he shouldn’t have done it the way he had and yet he didn’t regret where he was now. 

From what they told him, Evan’s leg would be in a cast for some weeks and there might even be additional surgeries. Lots of PT even after that. It was going to be a long recovery. 

One morning before their perspective shifts, he met Hen for coffee and bagels. 

“Chim wanted to come but he and Maddie are finally in a good place after everything and I guess they had plans.”  

“That’s good,” Tommy said.

Even though he obviously didn’t think everything revolved around Evan, he wondered where that left him in respect to his sister if she was focused on a new relationship. It most likely left him with his girlfriend. 

Hen was the one to bring Evan up. “The length of his recovery is going to drive him crazy,” she said. 

“He isn’t one to sit still, is he?” Tommy asked. 

“Not at all. I stopped by to see him the other day and I found out he’s already gone through like three sudoku books. He doesn’t even like sudoku. Also, turns out his new apartment has his bedroom up on a loft. He’s going to be on the couch for a while.” 

“That can’t be good for his recovery.” 

Tommy hadn’t even realized that Evan had moved out of his sister’s place. He did remember that Evan had been looking for a place but he’d never said that he found one or that he’d managed to move in already. 

“Is his girlfriend hanging around at least to keep him company?” 

Hen let out a sigh and gave a small shake of her head. “They, uh, they broke up.” 

“What?” 

Tommy remembered Ali at the hospital. The way she’d fussed over Evan like he was precious which…yes, Evan was. He hadn’t seen a break up in their future, at least not while Evan was still healing. 

“I didn’t see that coming.” 

Hen gave him a look. “After what you said about that open relationship thing? It was bought to happen.” 

“Was it about that?” 

“No,” Hen said. “He said she didn’t understand why he was so insistent on getting back to a job that put him in the hospital in the first place. I guess the reality of the job wasn’t real to her until then.” 

Tommy balled up one first. “So, she left him?” 

“She did.” 

“Wow. Way to kick a man when he’s down.” 

He hadn’t liked her before and now he really didn’t like her. Tommy didn’t know if he would have ever been able to do that even if the relationship was souring. Then again, was sticking around just out of some kind of obligation wasn’t great either. Maybe it was for the best. 

“Chim and I can’t decide if this is a better or worse end than his last relationship,” Hen said. 

Tommy frowned. He didn’t really like gossipping about Evan like this, but at the same time any information was welcome to him. Tommy was also regretting not reaching out. He just hadn’t known what to say and every time he reached for his phone with the intent to call or text, he would picture Evan under the truck or even in the hospital bed and it made his freeze up. 

“What happened with his last relationship?” Tommy asked.

“Well, his last girlfriend was a bit older. We were shocked when we met her but anyway, her mom passed and she had been caring for her for what seemed to be years. So, she decided to travel. Honestly, we all kinda knew she broke up with him but—”

“He didn’t,” Tommy said. “How?” 

Hen let out a sigh. “He told me that when she announced her trip it was just going to be a month. She kept her apartment, took just one bag. I get why he thought she’d be back. One month went by and then another and another. She left him at the airport, let him stay in her apartment, and he was constantly reaching out until she stopped responding. He was waiting months sure that they were still together. I mean she strung him along and then just ghosted. He was devastated.”

“Wow,” Tommy said. 

“Yeah,” Hen said. “She didn’t even get in contact about the apartment or her stuff. Really just never spoke to him again.”

“Is that why he didn’t have a place of his own?” 

Hen nodded. “Yeah. He was living in some kind of frat house before that. I think it was his first serious adult relationship too so—”

“And now Ali,” Tommy said. 

“Hey, I know. You should go see him,” Hen said. “He could always use the company. We’ve all been trying to go and see him even if it’s only for an hour or so. Keep him from going stir crazy.”

Tommy had been so sure that there would be no place for him in Evan’s recovery. Of course, he’d convinced himself that Evan’s girlfriend was sticking around and that Evan would have her care and maybe his sister’s too. Evan had so many people that cared about him that even his parents might have come to keep an eye on him. Hen hadn’t even mentioned them which was curious. Tommy hadn’t wanted to bother or be in the way, now he was thinking that he’d been wrong in his assumptions. 

“Yeah, maybe I will,” he said. 

Hen pulled out her phone and sent him Evan’s address. She eyed him with narrowed eyes. 

“I’ll tell him you’re going to stop by. Don’t make me a liar,” Hen said. 

So, really, he had no choice. He was far more thankful for Hen than he would ever be able to express. 

Out of some fear that Evan might tell him not to come, he didn’t even bother to call ahead even if it felt a bit strange to just show up unannounced. He did know that Evan would most likely be alone. When he knocked on the door, he heard a scuffle and it took several minutes but then there was Evan, leaning on crutches and with hair so messy and ruddy cheeks that meant he must have been napping. 

“Tommy,” Evan said, surprise in his voice. “Come…come in.” 

“I’m sorry if I woke you,” Tommy said, stepping inside. 

Evan blinked at him for a moment. Yes, definitely woke up from a nap unexpectedly. Was it bad that Tommy couldn’t stop himself from thinking about how adorable Evan looked confused and not fully awake with his curls mussed. Granted, there probably wasn’t much that Evan could do without looking adorable. 

Tommy closed the door behind him. Evan’s apartment was nice, actually far nicer than Tommy had expected it to be. It actually even fit Evan, in a way. He saw the stairs and it really was a shame that Evan had moved into a place that wouldn’t make his recovery easier. As a firefighter, Tommy had had his share of injuries and he knew that it would have driven him crazy to not have access to his bed. Which…why hadn’t someone offered to help bring the bed down for Evan? 

“Hey,” Evan said, “did I forget you were coming over?” 

“No. I thought Hen let you know I would? She said you could use the company. And, I wanted to see how you were doing.” 

Evan shook his head. “She didn’t say anything. I talked to her yesterday.” 

“Oh,” Tommy said. “Well, I’m here. I mean, I can go if I’m—”

“No,” Evan said quickly. “No. I want you to stay.” 

“How are you doing?” 

“I mean…I can get around a bit now,” Evan said, tapping one of his crutches. 

He was alive. He was talking. He was walking with the help of crutches. Tommy hadn’t realized how much he was still reeling from it, not until he had Evan in front of him again. Seeing him in the flesh even with his cast, it quieted the image that remained in his head where Evan was stuck under the ladder truck completely helpless. It wasn’t at all how he wanted to think of Evan.

“But you should probably sit down,” Tommy said. 

Evan chuckled. “Yeah.” 

Tommy followed him in further, past a dining table and then into the living room. He noted how awkward it was for Evan to move from one end of the apartment to another due to all the things he had to get around. 

Evan had set up a tv and across from it was a couch. On the coffee table in front of the couch was a pillow presumably for Evan to prop his leg up. All in all, the couch didn’t look too bad, but Tommy couldn’t imagine that it was all that comfortable to sleep on for a man Evan’s size. Though, he supposed that Evan was likely not getting too many consecutive hours of sleep in the first place and wouldn’t even if he was in a bed. Still, it probably wasn’t doing his back any favors. 

He watched as Evan maneuvered himself down onto the couch and grabbed his crutches from him, leaning them close enough for Evan to reach for them. 

“I heard you were back at the 217,” Evan said as Tommy sat in the armchair. 

“You’ve heard correctly,” Tommy said with a smile. 

He hadn’t really known how much he missed it. Not even the being up in the air, but just what that station meant to him and his own personal growth. Where the 118 held memories of his repressed past, the 217 was where Tommy had finally grown the courage to come to terms with the reality of his sexuality. 

“And are you back in the air, then?” Evan asked. 

“Yes,” Tommy said. 

“That must be amazing, actually. Does it feel like you’re a superhero?” 

Tommy rolled his eyes. “Not quite. You know, I could take you up sometime. I fly on my days off sometimes.” 

He could see the interest in Evan’s eyes right away. “You’d do that?” 

Tommy nodded at once. Not for just anyone, he thought. He had to reserve time with a helicopter and clearance to take it up. 

“Of course. I’d love to,” he said. 

He would do anything with Evan, do anything for him. It was a hard thing for Tommy to admit to himself, but it was true. There were so few people that Tommy could ever want to drop everything for and Evan was definitely one of them. The smile that Evan shot his way, he wanted to be the one responsible for that smile. 

“I’m glad you’re back in the air,” Evan said. “I could tell you missed it.” 

“I did,” Tommy said. 

“Well, as soon as it isn’t too much of a hassle with this thing,” Buck motioned to his cast, “I’ll take you up on flying. I’d love to see your skills in action.” 

“I look forward to it,” Tommy said. 

It wasn’t hard to imagine how the light would hit Evan on a sunny day, catching at the light strands of his hair, making him look like he was actually glowing. Tommy would have a hard time concentrating on doing anything but looking at him, but it would be worth it. It might also finally replace the image of Evan on the hard asphalt with the ladder truck keeping him pinned. 

[lovecolibri]

Unpopular opinion time maybe. But because I have BT shit blocked to hell and back and actively avoid seeing anything they're saying if I can help it, I seem to be having the opposite experience from everyone else? Because I keep seeing the "oh, T is getting praised and adored for things the female LIs were hated for. It's such a double standard! All those women deserve apologies!" And like, fair, that praising probably is happening? But from MY side? All I'm seeing is people hating T for shit they LOVED and still love and praise Tay Kay and L for. 🤷🏻‍♀️

Like, people are still out here claiming Tay Kay should come back because her and Buck would be besties and he needs someone to call him on his shit??? As though Hen, and Maddie, and Eddie, and Bobby, and Chim aren't all RIGHT THERE, loving Buck, and gently calling him on his shit when needed?? As though having someone who calls him "needy" around would be GOOD for him? As though that woman ever gave one single fuck about anything that didn't get her a leg up on the job? Like, you CANNOT complain that T is vaguely dismissive of Buck, and then claim to miss Tay Kay who was actively SO much worse to Buck and for Buck in every single way. And we all know the only reason the firefam wasn't allowed to actually say anything about her or mention Buck looking miserable all season 5 with her was because FOX shut down the planned storyline with bi Buck, gay Eddie, and Buddie and they needed to give Buck something to do and MW came cheap so they kept her on.

It's so weird to me that half of everyone is defending T for shit they hated with the other LIs and half are throwing T under the bus for things they actively encouraged from female LIs. Because I guess watching "strong" female characters "put Buck in his place" is okay and he needs to be brought down a couple pegs by them, but T is just a mean man and dismissive and poor Buck doesn't need that???

Sorry, but I don't enjoy watching a character like Buck who we KNOW has the issues he does be brought down, dismissed, and treated badly by ANYONE, regardless of gender. Sorry, I don't think it's funny and fun to watch women talk down to him and make him feel bad about himself. Sorry, I don't think dragging others down to pull yourself up makes you a "strong" female character. ESPECIALLY in a show chock full of ACTUAL strong female characters.

ANYWAY

I am an equal opportunity hater and I will absolutely call T out for the same exact shit I called out other LIs for because I don't have a double standard, and that's my salt gremlin thought for today.

[madlori]

On Tommy Kinard

"It's not that I don't like Buck and Tommy, it's just happening so fast, he's underdeveloped!"

*clears throat*

Here is a recap of what we know about Tommy. And this is just off the top of my head, I didn't rewatch anything.

He was closeted at the 118 before and found the atmosphere repressive. He (probably) acted like a dick to fit in. When presented with the chance to make things better, he took it, and developed positive relationships with Hen, Chim and Bobby.

He was in the army and trained there as a pilot.

He knows Muay Thai and has a set up in his house.

He likes to work on cars and has a lift at his house (where TF does he live is my question - he has some nerve being agog at Buck's loft if he has a muay thai gym and a car lift)

He is down for violating departmental policy at the drop of a hat (has done so on at least two occasions) to help a friend and has no problems fucking with the fire chief.

He is a nerd. He likes pub trivia and has incorrect Star Wars opinions, and can keep up with Chim in the movie-quoting department.

His favorite movie is "Love, Actually" and he likes craft beer and monster trucks.

He came out when he transferred to Harbor and felt comfortable enough to stop lying about who he was.

He follows MMA and has friends in Vegas who like him well enough to hook him up to a frankly insane degree.

He'll risk his own life and engage in helicopter skulduggery to save people he doesn't know...I mean, apart from doing that for a living.

He'll take time out of his day to give a tour to the cute boy who called him up and offer to give that boy flying lessons (a significant time investment) which was probably maybe about more one on one time with said boy.

He yearns for the belonging and found family that the 118 became after his departure and probably befriended Eddie hoping to earn a plate at the cookout, aside from just clicking with him.

He likes Eddie and Chris a lot and they like him. Chimney also likes him.

He was attracted to Buck right away and was emotionally aware enough to pick up on Buck's jealous feelings over Eddie and his friendship, even if he was surprised that it was him Buck wanted to get to know.

He respects and values Buck and Eddie's friendship and wanted to make sure Buck knew that.

He's brave enough to shoot his shot by planting one on a dude.

He's a lil bitchy but also generous and ready to throw in with this insane guy who's inviting him to a family wedding after 0.5 dates.

He showed up to a bachelor party when he was on call because Buck asked him to, then showed up in turnouts after fighting a fire for like 12 hours yadda yadda we all know this part.

He has got it BAD for one Evan Buckley, who he only calls "Evan" which according to LFJR is a conscious decision by the writers, which fascinates me.

He was willing to take a chance with a man just discovering his sexuality BUT wasn't willing to put himself through that if the man in question wasn't ready for it. When Buck showed him that he was, he was all in.

He does NOT take his coffee like that.

Oh and

He's a beast.

This is VASTLY more information than we knew about ANY of Buck's previous girlfriends with the possible exception of Abby. Even Taylor did not get this much development over 20 episodes (things we knew about her: she was an ambitious and ethically flexible reporter, did not eat fudge, had a dad in jail, and sometimes jogged for exercise, she was capable of being nice and did love Buck, I believe). And as for it being fast? Sometimes it just be like that? A relationship doesn't have to have year(s) of buildup. Sometimes people do just meet, like each other, and start dating, in fact in the real world that's usually what happens. It's in TV Land that you have to have eighteen seasons of UST before pulling the trigger. Most of the time in reality people just vibe off each other and decide to go out and THEN they learn about each other.

And they've got a great start. You'd think they'd barely spoken by how a few naysayers are talking about it - the loft scene was like a solid five minutes of very open conversation, the Cringe Date seemed to have gone well and again, open and honest (if cringey) conversation before Cockblocker Eddie showed up, and the coffee meetup was again....open and honest conversation. They're not gonna show us long scenes of them exchanging firefighting stories and workout preferences (I mean, I'd watch that, but it's not what the show is about).

In conclusion, anyone saying he's poorly developed or the relationship is "out of nowhere" either is being willfully obtuse or has ridiculously unrealistic expectations for relationships and/or what constitutes character development.

As for whether they have chemistry, that's a matter of subjective opinion. Given that a TON of people watched that harbor tour scene (even when it was posted as a sneak peek) and started going "wait...what's going on here...are they flirting??" might be a clue. People were talking about Bi!Buck maybe happening with Tommy based solely off that clip of the harbor tour and what they were seeing between them. And imho that loft scene was crackling. But we all see things through the lenses of our biases, myself included.

Got that off my chest, whew.

[tommystummy]

Tell me about the hot pilot

“So…” Maddie smiles, like a proud mother if Buck’s being honest and she shimmies like a big sister. “Tell me about the hot pilot.”

Buck ducks his head. What is there to say besides what he already has? Tommy is interesting, he’s confident, he has a cleft. “He’s just…” he can’t stop smiling already. “He’s.” Maddie is smiling too. So big and bright. “He’s amazing Maddie.”

“Ok so how did this,” she waves her hands at Buck’s general (lovestruck? Too soon for that. Infatuated) Infatuated demeanor, “all happen?”

“Right, so remember when I was acting like a teenage girl?”

“And you nearly broke Eddie’s ankle?”

“Right.” “That night, after Tommy got Eddie back from the hospital I was like…” he sighed to admit it. “Sulking, because I felt like I had both lost my best friend and make an absolute fool of myself in front of Tommy and Chimney. He shows up at my door, and he looked so handsome Maddie, he has these beautiful blue eyes.” Maddie laughed a little. It wasn’t cruel. She was enjoying Buck being smitten. “And he’s as tall as me but somehow wider. It’s.” He stops himself. He isn’t sure how far he can push it but it’s hot. He thinks Tommy’s hot (not that anything will happen there now but Tommy still is hot). “It’s very attractive.

“You can say he’s hot, Buck.”

“He’s so hot, Maddie.” He huffs it out. It feels good to say to anyone. “I fucking blew it, but he’s so hot.”

“He might come around.” She offers.

“I said we were going to go look for hot chicks after the movie. He’s gay.” Maddie sucks her teeth. Yeah. He’s not getting out of this that easily.

“But anyway. He comes over and we’re talking and he’s telling me how he’s not trying to replace me. That Eddie and him aren’t pushing me away. He tells me that Chris can’t shut up about me.”

“Wow so he’s a smooth talker.” Maddie says.

“So smooth. And—and my heart was beating so fast. I could hardly breathe and I thought it was just because I was tense but.” He takes another deep breath. “So I tell him I’m sorry for being jealous and he says he was jealous too.” Which Buck still struggles to believe but Tommy was jealous of him and Eddie and Hen and Chim.

“Of…?”

“The 118. He was there for a long time but it wasn’t a family and now it is. You know I think of Bobby as more of a dad than I do our actual dad.”

“Which is fair.” Maddie admits.

“Anyway I tell him that he is a part of the 118. That he saved Bobby and Athena with us and he made stupid fake mouth static.” Buck’s head falls as he remembers it all over again. “And I start like actually flirting, telling him how I wanted to get to know him and thought he was cool and I wanted his attention.”

“Wow.” Maddie says, again.

“Yeah.” He says sheepishly. “Wow.”

They laugh together, brother and sister, free and happy. It feels like something they should have had a long long time ago.

“I tell him you said that there are better ways to get someone’s attention and he. He fucking kissed me.” It plays again in his mind. “It was so sweet and tender but like forceful and confident and… sorry.”

“No no go on!” She puts her chin on her hands on the counter.

“I feel like he rebooted my entire code. Like I went from Windows 98 to Windows 10 or whatever the current one is. It was amazing and.” Buck sighs. Maybe he is a little lovesick. “He asks me out.” It’s a little bittersweet knowing that the date Tommy asked him out on ended so embarrassingly but his memory of moment was still honeyed and saccharine. “Just like that. He asks me if I’m free Saturday and I jumped at it.”

“I bet.” Maddie’s glued on smile becomes a little wry. “Sounds like he did a number on you.”

“And I blew it.” Buck pouts.

“Hey, don’t count yourself out yet.” Maddie says. Reaching her hand to touch his shoulder. “My little brother is a charmer, he’ll be thinking about you for a while.”

“Thanks Maddie.” Buck says. “This was nice.”

“Oh I am very experienced in talking about boys. We do it again some time.”

“Let’s.”

[beecauseevan]

first kiss in front of the team/at work!!

"You ready?" 

Eddie turns. He's been staring at the firehouse, but Buck is a much prettier sight, cast in gold by the morning sun filtering through the car windows.

"Ready? For work?" 

"Sure." Buck rolls his shoulders into the Jeep's driver's seat in a half shrug. "For work, and for—you know. Twenty-four hours is a long time."

Eddie leans against the door at his back, a smirk blooming on his face. "Is that a pickup line?"

"I don't have to use pickup lines on you," Buck tells him, but he's smirking too. "I picked you up a while ago."

Eddie hums.

"All I'm saying," Buck continues, "is that twenty-four hours… is a long time."

Eddie could keep playing hard to get. Taking the bait sounds more rewarding, though. He reaches for Buck, curls his fingers into the front of Buck's black t-shirt,  "Guess I better stock up on this while I still have the chance, huh?"

"I guess so," says Buck.

Eddie looks over his shoulder at the parking lot. It's empty, not a soul in sight.

"We're all alone," Buck mutters, voice softer than before, though the gleam in his eyes hasn't changed.

"All alone," Eddie agrees, and tugs him close.

They arrived in the parking lot half an hour early, but when they actually make it inside, their shift is about to start. That means the locker room is empty, which in turn doesn't mean much—the glass walls provide no privacy—but Buck is nothing if not bold.

"Stop," Eddie mutters, fumbling with the buttons of his shirt, which hangs half-open from his shoulders. He doesn't have to glance up to know Buck is looking at him, can feel the weight of his gaze on the exposed skin of his chest. It makes him feel stupid, and tingly all over, and warm.

"I'm not doing anything," Buck replies, equally quiet, though the smile in his words is loud. 

"You're staring."

"I'm admiring."

And, honestly. Buck just spent four consecutive nights admiring every inch of Eddie's body. He should've looked his fill by now, but when Eddie finally meets his eyes, the hunger in Buck's smile is as obvious as it was this morning, yesterday, two weeks ago. Eddie shivers, glancing past Buck at the app bay to make sure nobody is watching them. 

What if they both took a sick day? What would Bobby say then?

He pulls himself together and slaps Buck's (gloriously naked) chest. "Get dressed."

"Yessir."

"Oh my god," says Eddie, and moves to the other side of the locker room before he forgets himself. 

And just in time, too. Hen knocks on the glass door, then sticks her head inside. "You guys coming?"

"Did the bell ring?" Buck asks, eyes wide. 

Hen narrows hers and looks from Buck to Eddie and back to Buck. "No. I think you would've heard that."

"Right," says Buck. "Sure. I wasn't distracted or anything."

Hen frowns at Eddie, clearly expecting him to know what is going on with Buck, and she's not wrong, but Eddie shrugs anyway, feigns ignorance. Hen sighs.

"Bobby made waffles," she says. "If you don't hurry up, I'm giving your share to Ravi."

The city keeps them busy, after that, provides them with a steady stream of fender benders and fires and the occasional cat stuck in a tree. By the time they get another moment to themselves, the sun is setting over the city and the station is awash in shades of crimson and gold.

Eddie is just stepping off the treadmill, sweaty and in dire need of a shower, when Buck joins him in the gym.

"Hey," Buck says. 

Just that. Just hey. He's smiling and his curls look soft in the afternoon sun, and Eddie wonders if this will ever stop being thrilling, if he'll ever be able to look at Buck without feeling like his chest is going to burst from all this love, if he'll ever be able to exist in Buck's presence without wanting, no, needing, to put his hands all over that glorious body.

"Hey yourself," he says, and Buck's smile widens, and he steps towards Eddie as if magnetized.

"I've missed you."

"You saw me ten minutes ago."

Buck shrugs. "You know what I mean."

Eddie does. He doesn't wish that he didn't. He likes knowing. 

"Sixteen hours," he says lowly, as Buck stops in front of him, just a few inches shy of appropriate—but then they've never needed much personal space when it came to each other. "Think you can manage?"

"Barely," Buck replies, before his smile sweetens. He looks down at his feet and Eddie looks down too, at Buck's hands, which are twitching at his sides as though they're desperate to reach out. "But, yeah. I'll manage."

Eddie nods. He drags his eyes back up and finds Buck watching him in return. He's so close Eddie can count his lashes, could trace the smile lines in the corners of his eyes.

"There you are." Chim strides into the gym and stops dead in his tracks, frowns at them, which may or may not have something to do with the fact that Eddie just jumped away from Buck like he's been stung. "What's going on?"

"Nothing," Eddie says, too quickly.

Chim's frown deepens. Behind him, Hen appears on the scene of the crime, watching them over Chim's shoulder.

"If you guys are in some kind of trouble—"

And really, that's just uncalled for. Eddie opens his mouth and closes it again when he realizes he doesn't really have an excuse. Not for the first and probably not for the last time, Buck saves him.

"It's, uhm. Christopher's birthday party," he says. "We're—making plans."

Hen looks at Chim, who shakes his head.

"Chris' birthday is months away," she says.

"Well." Buck scratches the side of his neck. "Doesn't hurt to be prepared, right?"

He slides a pointed look Eddie's way, waiting for backup. Eddie opens his mouth.

It's new, still, this thing between them, new but not fragile. Three weeks ago, when their first kiss shattered every single one of Eddie's defenses, when he finally allowed himself a shot at true happiness, he warned Buck—told him that it would take him some time, that he would not be able to be Buck's plus one to a wedding any time soon.

Buck laughed at him, told him to stop worrying and we're not going to any weddings anyway, Eddie, unless you know something I don't, and kissed him again, and ever since then, he's been—patient, and careful, and wonderful, and everything Eddie could ask for and more.

He'd live like this, in secret, for another six years if Eddie asked it of him.

"Cause, you know," Buck continues, probably realizing that Eddie is too distracted to help him, and covering for him immediately, because he has his back even now. "Teenagers, they have—expectations. Right?"

"Right," says Eddie, and then he reaches out a hand and cups Buck's cheek and pulls him into a kiss, firm and sweet. When he breaks away, Buck is slack-jawed and glowing, and Eddie clears his throat and turns back to Chim and Hen, who are watching them with twin blank expressions. "Any more questions?"

"Huh," says Chim.

"Huh," adds Hen, and then, to Chim, "you owe me so much money. I knew it would happen before Christmas."

Chim groans loudly. Eddie leaves him to his misery and turns to Buck, who still looks stunned.

"Okay?" he asks quietly. He's lightheaded and giddy and so, so happy.

Buck's expression morphs into something different, something new, something that looks a lot like the inside of Eddie's chest feels—soft and warm and wonderful. "Okay. You?"

They have to talk to Bobby, and soon. Their future holds questions, of that Eddie is sure, and a lot of paperwork. He doesn't care about any of that right now.

"Never better," he says, and kisses Buck again.

[cosyvelvetorchid]

Prompt for Bucktommy:

Tommy, come get your man…..

This was fun to write. Thanks 😊

You can send bucktommy or saltommy prompts to my ask and I'll write a little something.

🩶

******

"I might actually kill him." Bobby exclaimed, pulling glasses out of the cabinet and noisily placing them on the tray.

"It's your fault." Chimney told him. "You did give him the clip board. Metaphorically. "

"All I said was that he could help organise May's college graduation party."

"Yeah, but you used the 'O' word. Never give Buck the chance to organise anything. Rookie error, Cap." Chim shook his head.

"Chimney, Bobby!" Bucks voice yelled out. "Where are the glasses? Everyone is going to be arriving in-" He looked at his watch "-T minus 3 hours."

"Relax, Buck. We still have plenty of time." Chim said.

"Those glasses need to go onto the table, the balloons need to be finished being blown up, the photographer still has to set his stuff up and don't get me started on that uneven banner." He pointed over his shoulder to the banner hanging above the sliding doors that, to anybody normal, looked perfectly fine. "Let's go!" He ordered clapping his hands and walking away to inspect the (un)problematic banner.

"I think I'm actually going to do it." Bobby said, narrowing his eyes in Bucks' direction.

"Don't worry. I got a secret weapon." Chim pulled out his phone and dialed the number.

"Tommy, come get your man."

***

"Tommy, wha-what are you doing here? Party isn't for another 2 hours. You should be resting after your shift." Buck pressed a quick kiss onto Tommy's lips before looking back up at the banner and scowling. It still wasn't right.

"I was until Chim called."

"Traitor!" Chim called from the kitchen.

"I know you want this party to be perfect for May, but you're getting a little.. a little Buck." Tommy spoke softly so as to not make Evan feel like he was being chastised.

"I know, I know.. I can be a bit.. much. But she's graduating college. College, Tommy! That's a big deal. I want it to be special."

"I know you do, babe. And I love that you care enough to do that for her. However, everyone kind of wants to kill you right now, so.." He gently used two fingers to guide Evans face from the banner to him. "If you back off a little -" He moved his mouth to Evans ear and whispered, "I'll blow you in the car." He pulled his head back to look Evan in the eye with a subtle smirk on his face.

"Banner looks great!" Buck declared immediately, putting on his jacket.

"How did you do that?" Bobby asked mesmerised. Tommy had become the Buck whisperer in recent months. "What did you say to him?"

"On a scale of 1-10, how much do you really want that answer?" Tommy raised a brow.

"You know what? I'm going to check on the barbecue." Bobby replied, quickly walking away. Buck grabbed Tommy's hand and practically dragged him out of the house towards Tommy's truck.

[roosterforme]

The Curveball Part 13 | Bob Floyd x OC

Summary: Molly didn't think life with Bob could get any better. Then their son arrives, and she's proven wrong yet again. She doesn't know what the future holds, but she knows that she wants her family with her for every adventure. And that starts with a trip down a grassy path through some wildflowers.

Warnings: Angst, fluff, swears, pregnancy, smut, 18+

Length: 3900 words

Pairing: Robert "Bob" Floyd x Female OC (this story accompanies Batting Practice!)

Check my masterlist for more! The Curveball masterlist

Thank you to @mak-32 and @teacupsandtopgun for the beautiful banners!

With the number of times Bob had to field the question, "So how did you and Molly get engaged?" you would have thought he could answer it by now without blushing. But he couldn't. Not even close. 

The only ones who knew what really happened were Nat, Bradley and Molly's sister. Nat kept calling Molly 'a goddamn legend'. Bradley cringed. And Molly's sister just said, "Yeah, that tracks."

But Molly kept those pretty Mrs. Floyd nipple piercings in for him, and he loved her even more for it. Her belly had gotten so big by Valentine's Day, he didn't know how she'd make it all the way to her due date in another four weeks. She looked absolutely exhausted after every shift in the emergency room, and more often than not, she ended up falling asleep on the couch with him after dinner while they watched a murder documentary. 

"Mo," he whispered on Friday night after she fell asleep mostly on top of him on the couch, his big hand splayed over her belly. His son was squirming a bit as he stroked her soft skin. She was incredible. His Molly. They hadn't decided exactly when they were going to get married, but she kept talking about wildflower meadows. So he agreed to wait until the summer, after the baby was born. 

He had to whisper her name a few times before she jolted awake. "Hmm?" she moaned. "Bobby, I was in the middle of a delicious nap." He kissed her lips when she pouted at him. 

"Let's get in bed, Honey," he said softly, pulling her shirt down over her belly. "We have to babysit Ev tomorrow so your sister and Bradley can go out for Valentine's Day."

She smirked at him. "They like to do dirty shit in the Bronco."

Bob just shrugged. "We do dirty stuff in my truck all the time."

She moaned softly as she said, "We sure do, Lieutenant Floyd." Bob's eyes slowly closed as Molly's hand skimmed down his abs and into the waistband on his underwear. "Dirty stuff everywhere. Anything my fiancé wants."

Bob grunted as her small hand wrapped around his cock, and her lips grazed his stubbled jaw. He was getting harder as she stroked him slowly, tongue darting out to taste his neck. "Molly," he moaned, bucking up into her hand as she teased his tip. But she just hummed against him as she jerked him off. And then her hand slowly came to a stop until she was just softly cupping his balls.

And then he heard her soft, even breathing next to his ear, and Bob couldn't help but laugh. She actually fell asleep while she was giving him a handjob. Bob thought for a moment that maybe a less secure man would be insulted, and maybe that's what Molly was used to in the past, but he knew she was beyond tired right now. 

He kissed her forehead and gently eased her hand back out from his underwear. "It's bedtime," he whispered, and she jolted awake again.

"No," she said, shaking her head and trying to reach for his cock. 

"Yes," he replied with a chuckle as he slid out from under her without being too rough with her bump. "Come on, and I'll rub your back until you fall asleep in bed."

"Mmkay," she agreed, bleary eyed as Bob led her to their bedroom. He helped her get undressed, kneeling in front of her and placing some gentle kisses to her belly like he did every night. 

"I love you," he whispered as Molly ran her fingers through his hair. The nightly conversations with his son were something he was definitely going to keep doing after the baby was born. "I can't wait to meet you. We just finished getting your nursery ready. I hope you like baseball, because your Uncle Bradley and I went a little nuts in there."

"That's an understatement," Molly whispered. "They went flipping bananas."

Bob cupped her pretty belly with both of his hands and smiled. "Mommy's right. We did go overboard."

He watched Molly yawn before she said, "It's okay. Everett and Piper will teach him all about baseball." And then she kept yawning, so Bob got her settled into bed with a pillow tucked against her belly. He set his glasses on the nightstand and turned off the lamp. And then he climbed in behind her as the big spoon and kissed the engagement ring she was wearing. 

"You wanna talk about baby names?" he asked, rubbing his hand along her side, because he knew it would make her sleepy.

"I only like a handful of names," she replied, and Bob could hear the pout in her voice even though the room was dark. 

"Come on, Mo. Literally anything except Everett. Your sister will never forgive you."

"Yeah, but my nephew will think it's funny, and that's almost enough motivation for me to do it."

Bob groaned. "What's your second favorite name?"

It took Molly a few moments, but eventually she said, "I want to name him after you."

"Robert Junior?" he said, already shaking his head. "RJ?" He didn't like it at all.

"No. Your middle name. We can call him Charlie," she mumbled, obviously dozing off.

Now Bob smiled as he kissed his sleeping fiancee on the shoulder. "Charlie Floyd."

-----------------------------

Since it wasn't a leap year, Molly knew Bob wasn't really getting a birthday. "Still only eight years old," she told him on February twenty eighth. She was straddling his lap on the couch, but her belly was fucking enormous now and always in the way. He didn't seem to mind though as he gently held her and cradled her and the baby. She kissed down his cheek until she got to his lips. "You look terrible for your age."

Bob burst out laughing. "Thanks, Honey. Hoping the kid gets your genetics."

"Call him by his name," she whispered. 

"Charlie," Bob said with a smile. There was no room left for Charlie to move around too much, but he always seemed to know when Bob was nearby. He was currently squirming so much, Molly was getting heartburn. 

"He just wants his daddy all the time," she said, running her hands slowly over Bob's chest. "I want his daddy all the time, too."

"Yeah?" Bob asked cautiously. It was really difficult to fuck now. Molly was always uncomfortable. But she knew Bob was never going to rush her. So they spent about five minutes getting her propped up on the couch with throw pillows.

"This is a lot of work for you to get some birthday sex, Bobby," she crooned as his erection bumped her repeatedly in the leg while he made sure she was comfortable. 

"It's worth it," he replied as he sank into her warm pussy.

"Oh, yeah... definitely worth it," she agreed, rocking back gently to meet his slow thrusts. It was unhurried and perfect, and Bob's big hands wrapped around to her belly made her feel safe. 

But later that evening, she knew she had to do something she really didn't want to do. "Bob, it's time," she said solemnly as she stood with her jewelry box in both hands. 

"I understand," he whispered, taking it from her and sitting down on their bed. He sighed sadly and watched her pull her shirt over her head followed by her sports bra. And then the pretty Mrs. Floyd piercings had to come out. She almost laughed at the sad look on his face as she put them in her jewelry box and closed the lid.

"They'll be back. I promise."

"I know," he whispered, kissing along both of her breasts and nuzzling her with his nose. She felt like she looked all swollen and misshapen, but he didn't seem to mind as he kissed her everywhere.

-------------------------

"You can't be serious right now," Molly groaned the following night as she nibbled on some pizza. Everyone was out for Bob's fake birthday at the usual restaurant. "You're going to Disney World? Without me?!" she asked Everett.

Bob tried not to laugh as his soon to be nephew looked genuinely upset. "Mom, can we bring Aunt Molly with us?" he whispered.

But Molly just laughed and kissed him. "No, this vacation is for you and your parents. Besides, the baby will be too young this summer. I'll come next time."

"How much longer until the baby comes?" Everett asked her looking at her belly hopefully. "This is taking forever."

"Hopefully just a few more days," Bob supplied, offering Molly more pizza. But she hadn't even finished one slice yet, just sipping some apple juice instead. 

"No," she told him. "I don't feel great today."

Then Bob noticed the ridiculous grin on Everett's face where he sat perched on Bradley's lap. "I got a new dad. I'm getting my very own cousin, and even an Uncle Bob!"

"You're living your best life, my man," Molly told him. "It's like you planned this all out."

But she really didn't look comfortable at all, and Bob knew she was struggling with fatigue now. So he kissed her cheek, insisted on paying for dinner, and started to herd everyone outside. As soon as he opened the passenger side door of his truck and tried to help her in, she started shaking her head. 

"I'm going to throw up," she insisted and started heading for some of the shrubs along the side of the parking lot. "Oh. Oh no."

But she didn't throw up. Her water broke. Bob froze as Molly turned to look at him as she started crying. "I just peed," she whispered.

Then his adrenaline kicked in fully, and he closed the distance to her. "Honey, I think your water broke," he said gently, and she gasped, panic all over her face.

"No," she said, shaking her head more. "I'm not ready."

"I don't think we have much choice," he told her carefully as he guided her back to the truck. Her sister had already left with Bradley and Everett, so he would have to call them once they got to the hospital. But he needed to focus on this first, because Molly was starting to lose it.

"I can't do this. I can't!" she nearly screamed, fighting him as he tried to get her into the truck. Her pink leggings were all wet, and she was scrambling in every direction seemingly at the same time. "I don't want to," she informed him, eyes wide and unsure. 

"I'll be with you the whole time," he whispered, kissing her cheek. He was over prepared. He knew that. But he'd been sending Molly around everywhere with her hospital bag which he had packed for her, and it was currently tucked behind the driver's seat. She was as ready as she was going to be whether she wanted to admit it or not. 

Once he was finally pulling out of the parking lot with Molly successfully buckled in, Bob felt the panic as well, but he tried to keep his cool. Then suddenly Molly clutched at her belly and loudly groaned, "Shit."

"What?!"

"Is that a contraction?" she asked, gripping at the door handle. "Shit! Fucking hurts!"

When they finally got to the hospital, things had gotten worse. He took her in through the emergency room since that was where she worked. Everyone ran out to watch Bob wheel her inside in a wheelchair. She was gripping the arms and looking back up at him like he was absolutely ruining her day by bringing her here. 

"Molly's here!" one of her coworkers yelled.

Molly responded by crying and shouting, "Fuck!" But nobody seemed to think this was unexpected. They just helped Bob along to the elevator and opened all of the necessary doors to get her to the labor and delivery area.

"Thanks," he told them as another nurse let him know he could take Molly into room two. There were new mothers and nurses pushing bassinets around. It was serene. Peaceful. Really one of the loveliest things Bob had ever seen. And he was currently interrupting it by pushing Molly through as she moaned the f-word so loud and so long that nearly everyone was turning to look. 

"It's okay, Honey," he promised as he got her into room number two. 

"No, Bob!" she shouted. "It is fucking not okay! I feel like I pissed myself. I look like I pissed myself. And Charlie fucking hates me, because it hurts so much!"

She was doubled over, holding her belly. The pain on her face as she had a contraction made Bob reach for her instantly. A tear slid down her cheek, and she whimpered. And then the obscenities flowed. 

Bob tried to apologize to all of the nurses as Molly called them 'fucking assfucks', but they didn't seem to mind at all. He did however close the door as her contractions got closer together.

Hours later, after he had called his mom and Molly's sister and told them what was going on, Bob was exhausted. But he knew Molly was much worse off in that department. She was soaked with sweat and was currently glaring at him. 

"I hope you're happy, Bob," she growled, eyes flashing. "Your monster cock did this to me. Lulled me into a false sense of sexual bliss. And then your filthy mega sperm took over, and finished the job."

She looked like she wanted to hurt him, and he had to try very hard not to laugh as he held her hand. "I'm sorry, Mo. I'll never do it again," he promised.

Then she started crying. "You'll never fuck me again?"

"That's not what I meant!" he said quickly, but she was already in tears. And she said the word 'cuntbag' so many times in a row while she pushed that he lost count. 

"I see the baby," the doctor finally announced after what seemed like days. 

"Get it out! Get it fucking out!" Molly screamed, and Bob felt like screaming too. She had such a tight grip on his fingers, he was sure she cracked some bones. 

But when she looked at him, clearly scared, he kissed her sweaty forehead and told her he had never been more impressed by anyone in his entire life. And it was the truth. She looked like she was on the verge of passing out when the doctor announced that it was in fact a boy and gave the time of birth. After Charlie was measured and weighed, one of the nurses placed him in Molly's arms. 

"I don't know what to do," she whispered, carefully holding him against her chest with one arm and stroking his cheek with her fingers. "I don't know what to do." But her gaze was transfixed on their son, and her lips were softly parted in wonder. Bob could already tell that Charlie was the perfect baby. Little puckered lips and eyes that were fighting to stay open against the bright overhead lights. 

"Oh my god," Bob whispered, leaning down to kiss his son. "Molly. He's actually perfect."

Her fingers stroked along his soft skin while Bob held onto one tiny fist. "He actually is."

---------------------------

The only problem with the next few months was that they flew by. All of Bob's aviator friends had covered the pickup truck in yellow and black BABY ON BOARD signs the day they took Charlie home from the hospital. Molly thought it was hilarious, but Bob grumbled as he removed all of them. 

To Molly's extreme annoyance, Charlie seemed to prefer Bradley over all of their other visitors. Everett was overjoyed every time he got to sit with the baby, and her sister was already helping Molly with literally everything under the sun. But it was Bradley who was able to calm Charlie down and get him to fall asleep on his chest. 

"I'm the baby whisperer," he informed everyone every time he had the opportunity. 

"You're Uncle Turd," Molly told him, but Bradley just smiled at her. She couldn't be too mean, because she needed his help. He was the one who was supposed to be distracting Bob for an entire day while Molly got her wedding gift for him finished. 

She wasn't sure what the two men were going to do after the batting cages, but Molly didn't really care. She had approximately seven hours from the time she dropped Charlie off with her sister to the time she had to be back home. The wedding was in a week, the bodice of her dress was sheer lace, and she wanted the tattoo to be perfect. 

After she told her tattoo artist the exact placement she wanted and the colors to use, she sat back in the chair in her bra with her arm over her head. Molly looked down at the stretch marks on her still puffy belly. Instead of talking to Charlie there every night, Bob sat in the nursery for fifteen minutes and chatted while he rocked him to sleep. And then he did any number of sweet or dirty things to her before they fell asleep together for a few precious hours until the baby woke them up. 

But Bob never once made her feel like her weird looking belly was an issue for him. And when she brought it up one night with tears threatening behind her eyes, he told her she was more beautiful than anything he could have ever dreamed up. And Bob never lied. 

"All finished," the artist said, wiping along her skin with a towel one last time and handing her a mirror. 

A big, bold violet. A beautiful, blooming daffodil. And even a small pink rosebud. Bob, Charlie and Bradley. "Looks great."

----------------------------

As soon as Molly showed Bob her tattoo, he wrapped her up in his arms. "Gorgeous, Honey," he said, kissing her before examining it a little closer. He ran his fingers along the colorful carnations that were there for her mom and dad, and when he got to the daffodil that she got for Charlier, his fingers froze. There was a small gap between his flower and their son's flower, and when he looked up at Molly she was smiling. "Is it finished now?" he asked cautiously. 

She just shrugged. "I'm not sure yet."

Bob would never pressure her to have another child with him. He hadn't really expected to get this lucky in life, let alone feel bold enough to hope for anything more. But that little gap gave him butterflies. Charlie was the sweetest baby in the world, and Bob was obsessed with being a dad. It was his favorite thing. And he wouldn't hesitate to list the condo and find a bigger place if Molly wanted to do this all over again. "You just let me know."

"I will, Coach Cute Daddy."

Bob held her close, knowing they needed to get ready for bed soon. Charlie was still notorious for waking them up at three in the morning to eat, even though he was four months old. Molly kept saying he would probably grow out of it soon, but Bob figured his son loved them so much, he wanted them in the nursery with him. 

"Are you ready for Saturday?" he asked, taking his glasses off as Molly climbed into bed.

"Are you asking if I'm ready for the dream wedding that I've spent months planning out? Then yes, I'm ready. All you have to do is show up with the baby, agree to marry me, kiss me, and fuck me. Not all in the wildflower meadow."

Bob kissed along her shoulder as she fell asleep. Molly made him laugh more than he ever had before. And Charlie made him smile more than he ever had before. And by Saturday evening, he'd be married. 

----------------------

"I can't believe my wild child of a baby sister is getting married today."

Molly sighed contentedly and said, "To Bob Floyd. The sweet, shy man of my dreams."

Her sister laughed and added, "I don't think Bob was planning on anything like you happening to him."

Molly scoffed as she picked up her bouquet made entirely of gas station flowers. "Anything like me? You mean getting his world rocked and having a kid after being together less than a year? He's lucky."

"He is," she agreed, kissing Molly's cheek. "Now please explain to me why you are getting married with these cheap flowers when there's literally an entire meadow of multicolored poppies and zinnias growing outside?"

Molly pressed her nose to them. "Because Bob picked them up for me last night, and they're my favorite. The other flowers can learn some respect."

"If you say so," she replied, taking Molly by the hand. "As soon as I can give you away, you are one hundred percent Bob's problem." But she was holding tight to Molly's hand, and it sounded like she was on the verge of tears.

Molly walked outside with her sister and started down the grassy path toward the spot where Bob was holding Charlie in the distance. "I will never stop being your problem. And Bradley's problem by proximity."

"Good," her sister whispered, and Molly smiled at her as she cried a little bit. "I love you."

"I love you, too."

And then they walked toward the setting sun past the most beautiful shades of orange, green and yellow Molly could imagine. And it probably wasn't like other weddings, but the best ones weren't. 

They stopped so Molly could give hugs and kisses to Bob's parents and the rest of his family. And they stopped so she could get a kiss on the forehead from Bradley. "Love you, turd," she whispered. 

"Hey," he said in his raspy voice as she kissed Everett. "You owe me forever for agreeing to coach tee ball with Bob."

"And you owe me forever for letting you marry my sister," she replied easily.

He just nodded thoughtfully. "You're right. We're square."

Molly was laughing as she handed her gas station flowers off to Nat with a hug, and then she was standing in front of Bob and Charlie. 

"Hey, Honey," Bob whispered as she took Charlie from his hands so she could hold him for a bit while he napped. She kissed his soft chubby cheek, and his eyes fluttered open before closing again. 

Then she met Bob's greenish blue eyes, and he was looking at her like that very first day at tee ball, over a year ago. Like he couldn't believe she was giving him the time of day. She took a step closer to him, and said, "Hey, Coach Cute Glasses. Did you remember your allergy pills?"

"A double dose," he promised. "You ready to marry me?"

"Yes."

Molly held Charlie, and Bob wrapped his strong arm around her waist as they turned toward the sunset. The wedding was short, led by John who married her sister and Bradley last September. And as Molly closed her eyes and kissed Bob at the end of the ceremony, the warmth of the summer evening and the scent of wildflowers washed over her. 

The soft nudge of Bob's glasses against her cheek and the way he helped cradle Charlie had Molly leaning in for another kiss. Maybe it would be just the three of them, maybe not. But Molly wanted to take her family on every adventure with her.

"I love you, Cowboy Bob."

Bob smiled and kissed her softly before pressing his lip to Charlie's forehead. "I love you both."

----------------------------

Ahhhh! Thanks for joining Molly, Bob and CHARLIE on this little adventure! I'm sure they will have so many more together. You can always peep more details about them if you read Batting Practice (and maybe some future one-shots)! Thanks to @mak-32 and @beyondthesefourwalls and everyone who bugged me to make Molly and Bob a thing.

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[ivegotyourbackbuddie]

After the 118 find out that Buck and Eddie are together, I want Eddie to have a day filled with shovel talks.

Like he’s invited along to an innocent breakfast with Hen and Karen but before he can even order anything, they’re raising their eyebrows and asking, “What are your intentions with Buck?”

And after Eddie stutters out a response about how much he loves Buck and asks them if it’s too soon to buy a ring, they lay off of him and have a nice breakfast.

But right after the breakfast, he gets an innocent text from Maddie asking to come over and help him with a new play set she and Chimney bought for Jee and any of the other kids who want to play on it. And Eddie immediately is on his way, excited to help out. Only, when he gets there, Maddie is hesitant to take him to the backyard and instead asks if he wants tea, coffee, or a beer.

When she hands Eddie the beer, she slowly tells him how special Buck is to her and how painful it’s been for her to see him get hurt over and over by people who are supposed or love him.

So, Eddie tells her about how painful it was for him to see Buck hurt as well, and how Buck is in his will, and how he doesn’t think he’d survive the heartbreak if anything bad happened between him and Buck. And by the end of his speech, Maddie has tears streaming down her face - happy tears - because she knows Buck has found someone who loves him nearly as much as she’s always loved him.

And as Eddie finishes off the beer, he asks, “So, there was no play set, was there?”

Maddie shakes her head and replies, “Oh no. There is. I’m just making Chimney work on it because he didn’t want to be a part of the shovel talk.” Eddie raises an eyebrow. “He gets scared of how overprotective I am.”

Eddie smiles and nods. “Well, I find it endearing. I’ve always admired how much you’ve had his back his whole life. The love you have for each other is really beautiful.”

Maddie wipes a tear from her eye and laughs, “Now you’re really trying to suck up to me.”

Eddie laughs and has to excuse himself to answer his ringing phone with Bobby’s caller ID lighting up the screen. Bobby says something about stopping by to go over his and Buck’s paperwork, and Eddie tells him he’s coming over.

After a very long hug, Eddie is on his way over but as soon as he’s through the doorway, he finds not only Athena waiting for his arrival but Harry and May at the dinning room table across from her. Eddie starts by saying, “Really? You guys too? Did you guys all plan for today to be the shovel talk day? Because I thought it was pretty clear that I love Buck more than anyone I’ve loved before - besides Christopher. And I’m beyond lucky to have someone like him as my partner in the job, to care for Christopher, and in life. And yes, I’m aware that there will be challenges because every relationship has them - hell, Buck and I have already had challenges. But I love him every bit because of how we got through them and came out on the other side stronger. Yes, I can’t promise that I won’t hurt Buck, but I will promise that I will do everything in my power to prevent that from happening.”

And the whole Grant-Nash family just stares at him before Bobby clears his throat and hands him some paperwork while saying, “I actually did have a question about the paperwork.”

And before Eddie can die of embarrassment, Athena comments, “But I’m glad we got that over with before Bobby gave his speech Thursday night when this was supposed to happen. And trust me, you did not want to sit through it.”

Bobby shoots her an offended look, but May laughs and explains, “He’s been practicing… with flashcards.”

When Eddie raises his eyebrows at Bobby, he has the decency to look just as embarrassed as Eddie feels, but he ignores the topic at hand to point out a back page Eddie forgot to fill out.

After it’s all settled, Eddie asks Bobby, “Hey, who is giving Buck the shovel talk on my behalf?”

Bobby only raises his eyebrows in response and shares a smile with Athena.

Then, the scene cuts to Buck who is very nervously stating his intentions with Eddie, talking about all the moments he knew he was in love with him but pushed it down because he never thought he was lucky enough to get what he always wanted. Then, it kind of turns into a speech of all the things he loves about Eddie until he cuts himself off, asking if it’s too soon to buy him a ring.

A very long silence goes by and Buck keeps nervously fidgeting then finally asks, “So… did I pass?”

Then, the camera slowly pans to Christopher who is staring at Buck very seriously, but then he breaks out into a wide smile and laughs, “You passed!” before getting up to give him a hug.

And this is exactly how Eddie finds them when he gets back, and he knows that all the uncomfortable talks were worth it.

Until Chris pulls away and tells him, “Dad, I have something very serious to discuss with you.”

And Eddie rolls his eyes to prepare for yet another talk, but he can’t help but be glad that Buck has so many people in his life that love him.

Of course, those same people give Buck the shovel talk the next day except this time Chimney joins because he loves watching Buck squirm under pressure. And after several talks and more tears shed, Buck goes out to finally buy a ring, not knowing that while he was out, Eddie was doing the same thing.

But they wouldn’t have it any other way.

[firewasabeast]

Since you watch lone star too, you saw the whole kidnapping thing in ls 4x04. If 911 did something like that, how would it play out? Who would even get kidnapped? I mean, it's different that being held hostage like in ls 2x08 (in the empty restaurant) or 911 5x06 (in the ambulance itself).

4x04 is one of my favorite episodes and my most rewatched one! I just think Rafael is an incredible actor, and should lone star get cancelled I would fully support him moving to LA and Carlos teaming up with Athena to fight crime (TK can come too).

But getting to your actual question, my buck loving heart would love to see him be the one in peril. He suspects something after a call in a mostly abandoned neighborhood and goes back after work just to have a look around. Bobby’s gone back to a scene before, and that’s why buck feels like he could do it too.

Cue the drama. Cue the kidnapping.

He was supposed to meet tommy after work and he told him he’d be a little late but didn’t say he wasn’t coming at all so now tommy is worried. They’re not at the phase of having each other on find my friend or anything like that, and buck’s not answering so he calls maddie. She hasn’t heard from him but he doesn’t want to worry her so he ends up saying “oh, just got a text! traffic, of course!”

He picks up eddie, then he calls bobby, who tells athena, and the four of them go on the search of a lifetime looking for buck. They call Josh at dispatch and have him ping buck’s phone (and tell him to NOT tell maddie!!!). he does what he can, gets a last known location, but not an exact.

Maddie’s suspicious of course. she talks to chim who talks to hen who calls bobby and when bobby fills her in she tells him about the call at that creepy subdivision that buck wouldn’t stop talking about afterward.

All this while buck is going through it with the kidnappers.

Tommy is on edge. He’s snappy and scared and cuts through every piece of red tape that stands in Athena’s way. Doesn’t care if he can’t legally enter a house, Athena will have to arrest him to stop him. Goes into full interrogation mode with people who may have seen something. Bobby has to hold tommy back once, but eddie just takes over for him.

Athena, Bobby, Eddie, and Tommy find Buck just in time. At the hospital, bobby tells buck the way tommy reacted- that could only be love. The deepest, craziest, most heartfelt love. Bobby knows buck loves tommy too. He should tell him that. Life’s too short not to. The episode ends with tommy coming into the room. Bobby walks out but looks back at them through the observation window as tommy runs his fingers through bucks hair and gives him a kiss on the temple. We don’t hear the I love you’s, but we see buck say something that can only be “I love you” by the way tommy looks at him, then tommy smiles and we see him say it back. They kiss gently as tommy holds onto buck like he’s made of the most precious gold.

The end.

(Sorry wtf did this turn into my bad yall am I gonna have to write this now??)

[eddiediazismyhusband]

My (embarrassingly okay-ish) 9-1-1 Sims

so I do not claim to be good at remaking real people in the sims... I want to go ahead and get that out of the way first and foremost

however I don't think I did *terrible* on these sims (some are definitely better than others) but with that said, here are my 9-1-1 sims

(please don't judge me too hard)

Evan "Buck" Buckley

the tattoo cc I made for buck is definitely way out-of-date, but alas i am too lazy to go back and make a new tattoo to add all of his current 6,000 tattoos (love your tats oliver but no thanks <3) Including that last shirtless pic to show them off a little better.

Eddie Diaz

I know that Eddie doesn't have Ryan's map&compass tattoo in the show but I love that tattoo on Ryan so I included it on Eddie. I chose this hair for him bc I wanted to like blend the length it's at now with his s6 style a little bit- very floofy yet tidy, but also not a schoolboy or slicked back to the gods.

Maddie Han

I think I spent hours trying to get JLH's face as perfect as I could in-game and honestly I don't hate the outcome? like it's definitely NOT perfect by any means, but I think Maddie is one of my favorite sims in terms of how she turned out.

Chimney Han

Chimney is where things started to go a little downhill for me... I don't know why, but after HOURS of working, I just cold not get him right so I eventually had to sit back, take a deep breath, and say 'this is as good as it's gonna get.' I'd like to issue my formal apology to Kenneth Choi for this <3 (pls don't judge too harshly I swear I tried)

Karen Wilson

Karen, like Chimney, was a sim I spent HOURS on trying to get right, but for some reason I just could not for the life of me perfectly replicate Tracie's face... and unfortunately when I first made these sims (a LONG time ago) there wasn't a hair that fit Karen perfectly until (imo) THIS one came with the Lovestruck Expansion pack... I did make the executive decision to give her light brown hair rather than the blonde/brown she actually has, because the blonde in-game looked weird on her. I know these aren't her classic dreads, but I feel like they evoke the general vibe of hers better than some of the options we have in-game.

Hen Wilson

so Hen turned out being one of my favorites. I really love the outfits I picked out for her (bc lets be honest Hen loves wearing some of the WILDEST fits on the show) but unfortunately, this game hates to give female sims just plain slacks that are higher-waisted, so I was stuck with a cc pair that don't quite match but what can I do

Bobby Nash

yet another sim who I feel like I missed the mark on- Peter Krause's face was just IMPOSSIBLE to replicate, so I did my best. I also made the executive decision to not go full-grey for Bobby bc then he looked ancient rather than just late-50s.

Athena Grant

All I have to say about Athena is ANGELA BASSETT DID THE THING (also the cop outfit does NOT do her justice in this- I promise I worked hard to make sure Athena was giving just as much mommy vibes as she does on the show in her other outfits) (she's also ripped as fuck in my game bc I said so)

May Grant

I have a love-hate relationship with this sim because I spent so much time trying to perfectly replicate Corrinne's face, but no matter what I did there was always something that was always just the tiniest bit off... she's definitely not the worst of these sims though

Ravi Panikkar

all I have to say about Ravi is that if they want to give him a boyfriend in s8 i am available, and willing to travel to shoot in Los Angeles-

Also, I DID make a Josh sim, but I accidentally deleted him bc my mouse battery was dying and it was glitching out and i misclicked the "yes delete" button rather than the "don't delete" on the "are you sure?" tab and I didn't feel like going back and finding him again in the depths of my library so I will have to remake him :/

Oh and I made Chris too but every child sim looks exactly the same so he doesn't look anything like Gavin, but that was out of my hands I fear 💀

But anyway, these are my 9-1-1 sims... I made these forever ago and went through last night and updated their hair/outfits, but I haven't touched their physical attributes since I first made them. I'm excited to start playing with them again 😭😭

[inawickedlittletown]

And Every String Led Me To You (BuckTommy) - one-shot

Summary: It happened when Buck woke up from the coma. At first, he was absolutely sure that he was dreaming because there was no way his hospital room could be so full of string.

or, Buck can suddenly see the strings of fate, including the one that connects him right to Tommy.

BuckTommy Positivity Week Day 7: soulmates/string of fate

Rated: G

Words: 8.6k

@bucktommypositivityweek

-

Read on Ao3

It happened when Buck woke up from the coma. At first, he was absolutely sure that he was dreaming because there was no way his hospital room could be so full of string. So, when the doctors had all started to check on him, Buck had settled on the idea that maybe he was just hallucinating. Or that the lights in the room were doing something weird and his eyes weren’t focusing enough to let him see everything properly. 

Except that it didn’t go away. And once he was actually definitely more awake, Buck began to realize that the strings shot out from people’s chests. He saw it on his main doctor and on Maddie, but he realized fairly quickly that they couldn’t see them. 

Some people had more than others and there were different colors too. When he looked down at his own chest, he found lots of strings. The one that stood out most prominently was red. There were a few green, some blue, and yellow that glowed so much they looked almost gold. 

“Mr. Buckley, are you alright?” 

“Call me Buck,” Buck said. 

The doctor nodded and then started going over what had happened to him. Struck by lighting. Died. Coma. Lucky to be alive. Maddie stood next to him and she looked so happy that he didn’t want to alert her to anything else being wrong. But, something had to be wrong. 

Then, when everyone came in to see him, Buck was a bit overwhelmed by everyone and even more so by all the strings. They kinda blended together a bit but they were definitely still there. 

“Buck?” His doctor asked after visiting hours were over and everyone was gone. 

“Why are there so many strings?” Buck asked. 

“Strings?” She asked, confused. 

Buck hadn’t tried to touch them because he’d been a little worried about what might happen if he did. But, he reached just in front of his chest right where one of the green strings was. He closed his fingers around it and felt nothing. His hand grasped nothing. 

“But they’re — they’re there. They’re everywhere.” 

There were so many tests after that. Although some of them were probably related to the lightning strike and the coma that followed, some were definitely related to the strings. Why else would they bring a psychiatrist to see him? 

Maddie was worried. Eddie looked worried too. His parents had been mostly confused. Bobby was the first one to ask follow up questions. Because even the psychiatrist had wanted him to talk about things that weren’t the strings as if they were trying to get him to admit that he was making it up. 

“What are you seeing exactly, Buck?” Bobby asked. 

They were playing cards and Buck was already feeling a lot better. Maybe some of it was due to the pain meds, but he felt ready to leave the hospital. 

“It’s like if a ball of yarn was unspooled and it just kept rolling and rolling and rolling and other balls were also let go and every yarn started in someone’s chest. Can’t touch them, but they’re there and they’re kinda taut so somewhere they probably end. Does that make any sense?” 

“What else can you tell me?” Bobby asked. 

Buck took a breath. He couldn’t tell if Bobby was just humoring him, but it didn’t really matter if he could talk about the strings without doctors thinking he needed yet another MRI. 

“They’re really bright and there’s a lot of different colors too. The glow. And I think they connect people together. We’re — Bobby, there’s a string coming from me to you. It’s kinda yellow, but it’s glowing. I saw a similar one going from me to Maddie. There was a blue one connecting me to Eddie. Chim too.” 

Bobby stared at him. He was in one of those uncomfortable hospital chairs, his hand of cards held up in front of him, but he wasn’t looking at them as much as looking over them to stare at Buck. 

“They say strange things happen to people when they die,” Bobby said eventually. “You did die, Buck. Maybe long enough that something got left behind.” 

Buck sat up. He put his cards down. “What do you mean?” 

“Well, since they mentioned it, I’ve had the thought that maybe you’re seeing something that is always there but that no one ever sees. Buck, I think you’re seeing the strings of fate.” 

“Strings of fate?” Buck asked. 

Bobby nodded with a small smile. “It’s a theory,” Bobby explained. “Some people think that everyone that is meant to meet will meet and that we’re all just tangled up in strings. Most important of all, the red string of fate that will connect you to your Soulmate.” 

If the strings weren’t there in front of him, Buck probably would have scoffed at the entire idea. Except that he could see the strings and they did come out of people’s chests and he and Bobby were connected. 

“So, does that mean free will doesn’t actually exist?” Buck asked. 

“That is a larger conversation,” Bobby said with a chuckle. 

“Yeah. I just…if things are meant to be a certain way then what is the point of — well, of everything.” 

“Buck,” Bobby said, “I think that is the point. The strings are there for us to follow like different paths. Different choices. You can see them now, but you weren’t influenced in any way to make the choices that brought you here.” 

By the time that he was finally discharged a few days later, Buck had started to get used to the idea. He stopped telling people about the strings even though they were just always there. Weirdly, he could ignore them. Or at least he could until Maddie and Chim arrived to pick him up and he saw the red string that connected them. Soulmates. 

As much as he hated the recovery period, it did give him some time to get used to the strings. Seeing them on his friends when he was with them one on one was interesting because he had strings attaching him to all of them. It also gave Buck time to research. 

He probably spent too much time going down rabbit hole after rabbit hole. Most of it was theory because no one could prove that they existed. Some people did claim to see them, but just like Buck they had no way to actually prove that definitively. 

By the time that he was back at work, Buck just became used to seeing the strings. He could ignore them and if he really thought about it hard enough they kind of disappeared. So, for a while it seemed like everything would just go back to normal. Until he met Natalia the Death Doula. 

Buck saw the string that connected them the moment they arrived on the scene. It was the first string that he’d seen connect to someone he didn’t already know. Buck couldn’t help but be drawn to her and the longer they talked the more interested he became. He decided to ignore the nagging voice that told him he was being influenced by the string existing in the first place. It helped that she seemed to be as fascinated by him right back. Her fascination only seemed to grow when she learned that Buck had died. That made it a little weird, but Buck didn’t care. 

It had been a while for him since he’d attempted anything romantic. A few months later it was all over. For once it wasn’t his job as much as hers. 

“Only a yellow string,” he told himself afterwards. “Of course it wasn’t going to last.” 

Most people had a red string and most of the time Buck didn’t get to see where the other side ended. Bobby and Athena were connected by red. Hen and Karen too. Eddie and Marisol didn’t have a string at all and Buck had no idea what to make of that. Eddie’s red string was stretched outwards and Buck had absolutely no idea where it went. 

The weird thing about the red string was that it pulled. It was the only one that did that. Not often and very gently, almost pleasantly, but it was there and Buck had no idea why it did that at all. He just knew that if everything worked the way it was supposed to, one day he would meet the person that his red string led to. 

The worst pull that the red string ever gave him was that day during the bridge collapse. Buck didn’t know if it had something to do with the emergency or if it was because the person his red string ended on was there. He just knew that the string was as taut as ever and that it tugged at him. 

According to some of his research the red string was the main string and all the other strings were there to inform the red. Buck thought that there was maybe something to that considering how Maddie and Chim had come to meet because of him. Or even how Hen and Karen had gotten together entirely because of Chim whom they both shared strings with. 

“It’s red, the string between you two,” Buck told Bobby a couple of nights before he and Athena were setting off on a very belated honeymoon cruise. 

“I didn’t need you to tell me that, Buck,” Bobby said. 

Buck was a little curious about the string connecting Athena to her ex-husband as well as Bobby’s to his first wife. Did people have more than one Soulmate, or had Bobby and Athena always been meant to be? Buck didn’t really let himself linger on that. If he really let himself think too hard about the strings it would actually drive him a little crazy. 

Like how Eddie and Marisol didn’t have a string attaching them at all. Buck said nothing about it. It wasn’t his place and it was also a bit confusing because he’d sort of assumed that anyone you dated would have a string since there existed an inherent intimacy. Apparently, that did not seem to be the case. It made everything all the more curious. 

The next time his red string acted up was on the night that he, Eddie, and Chim were on their way to meet Chim’s friend from air support. It seemed to both get better and worse the closer they got to the station. Buck had no idea what to make of it.

And then he got very very distracted by the very hot man walking towards them. He stood at about Buck’s height and he could have easily been some sort of model because he had no right being that good looking and not sharing that with the world. 

It didn’t hit Buck until the guy had made it closer that Buck’s string had found its other end. Buck’s red string ended on the very muscled chest of the pilot that Chim had called to help them. He could barely keep his eyes off of him as they walked to meet him, the string between them shrinking and shrinking. 

He missed whatever Chim said to him until—

“I’m Tommy,” Tommy said and he shook Eddie’s hand first. 

“Ev— Evan,” Buck managed to get out. 

Tommy had a nice smile. It crinkled the corners of his eyes and created laugh lines around his mouth. His chin had a cleft and his jawline was sharp. He was hot. It wasn’t a thought that Buck had often about men, but he had eyes, and there was no denying when someone was just that good looking. 

“Nice to meet you, Evan,” Tommy said and Buck had gone years hating the sound of his own first name. He didn’t hate it when Tommy said it. 

“So, what’s happening exactly?” Tommy asked Chim, his eyes leaving Buck and turning to Chim. 

“You okay, man?” Eddie asked with a nudge to Buck’s side. 

“Oh. Uh…yeah. Yeah. I’m good.” 

He couldn’t stop looking at Tommy. The red string between them shone so bright that Buck could actually see the red light reflecting on the space between them and Tommy had absolutely no idea that it existed. As he followed Eddie and Chim towards a helicopter he noted that in addition to the red string, there were strings joining Chim and Eddie to Tommy. 

“Are you sure you’re alright?” Eddie asked again. 

Buck felt Tommy’s gaze on him and he gulped. “Fine. I’m fine. Just worried for Cap and Athena.” 

Eddie didn’t look like he believed him. 

Tommy had them all get into the helicopter and he stood outside. The wind fluttered his hair a bit and he was looking serious but cool as he talked to Chim. When he went to go grab Hen, Buck almost felt the string pull. It was an odd sensation. 

The whole helicopter ride, Buck grew more and more in awe of Tommy. He was just so confident as he got them up in the air and his dry humor was a revelation. By the time they spotted the capsized ship, Buck had started to think it was all for nothing, and then he began to worry that they were too late. 

He and Eddie shared a look. 

And then…well, then, Tommy actually landed on the capsized ship like it was the easiest thing in the world nevermind that it wasn’t even a little bit flat. 

Buck maybe gapped at him a little until Hen was pulling at him to get out of the helicopter. His eyes met Tommy’s as he did and wow was that intense.

The sun was rising by the time that they were making the final trip back to the coast guard ship. Buck didn’t know how he ended up front with Tommy, but he didn’t mind it one bit. He tried not to be too obvious in how his eyes seemed to stay right to him despite the gorgeous view of the calm blue water below them. 

“Gotta say, I’m glad I wrote that letter of recommendation now,” Bobby said. 

Tommy chuckled. “I’m just happy I could help.” 

“Are you kidding?” Buck asked. “This…we couldn’t have done any of this without you.” 

When he glanced back at Bobby he was unsurprised to find the string that connected Bobby to Tommy. 

“Anyone could have flown out here.” 

Buck shook his head. “But you did.” 

“Take the credit, man,” Eddie added. 

When they landed, they got to see Bobby and Athena reunite. The red string between them closing up until it existed as just a light glow between them. When Buck looked down, he saw his own between him and Tommy. Did it mean they could have something like Bobby and Athena? 

Throughout the night, Buck hadn’t allowed himself to really think about it, mostly because he wasn’t into guys. Or, alright, he’d never been with a guy before. He’d checked some out in the past, but that had been more about admiration for the physique or because yes some guys were hot and there was no way they weren’t getting checked out by most people. His brain was starting to hurt. 

He reached out to Tommy, patting his shoulder. “Thank you.” 

Tommy’s hand brushed his elbow as Buck began to follow Eddie. He felt the tug of the string and then it loosened as Tommy followed. It was very very strange and Buck needed to do more research. 

Days later, his research hadn’t given him much more than what he’d already found previously. Red string meant Soulmate. So, Buck did a different type of research and maybe he shouldn’t have started with porn, but that seemed in many ways the easiest way for him to tell if he actually could be sexually interested in guys. The answer was a yes. Definitely a yes. 

That sent him down a different rabbit hole and Buck learned about the kinsey scale and all the different flags and the different ways that people defined themselves. It was overwhelming and there was so much for him to learn, but Buck was nothing if not eager to learn. 

So he read up on Stonewall and Harvey Milk and the AIDS Memorial quilt. He read about all the men and women that got married after decades of being together without the right to. He read about gay sex and he read about the ways that queer people had been fighting for their rights for just about ever and how the fight was still ongoing. 

Every June, Buck had put up a pride flag on his Instagram, a show of solidarity. He hadn’t known the flag was his too. 

“Is something going on, Buck?” Hen asked in between calls one shift. “You’ve been quieter than usual.” 

“I’ve been doing some research,” he admitted. 

“And you haven’t shared it with us?” Chim asked. “Shocking.” 

Buck knew he was turning pink. Luckily, he was saved by a call. They all ran down and were in the truck in minutes. 

Later that night, he was the one that approached Hen. She had a book in her hand, but she put it down on her lap when she saw him. 

“What’s up?” 

Buck took a breath and he couldn’t say it. He couldn’t admit to a label that he still wasn’t sure fit. 

“Do you remember when I was in the hospital and I was talking about strings?” Buck asked.

Hen raised an eyebrow. “I think we all remember that.” 

“Right. Right. Well, I never stopped seeing them.” 

Her eyes widened at once. “What? Have you been hallucinating this whole time? Buck that’s not alright. We need to tell Cap and get you to the hospital. Is there anything else? I mean if you’re seeing things that aren’t there that isn’t exactly a good thing.” 

“No. No. Hen, I’m okay.” 

She leaned back on the couch. “I don’t really buy that.”

“Well, unlike my math superpowers, this one didn’t go away,” Buck said. “But I know what it is now.” 

Both of her eyebrows shot up. “You know why you’re seeing strings?” 

“Bobby thinks it’s left over from when I died. He called them strings of fate and I researched it a lot and it’s not just some story. They’re real.”

Hen nodded along. “Okay, and you, what, you found other people that can see them?” 

“There are some, yeah. Mostly people that have died and been revived. There’s research on it, but it’s not exactly prone to giving empirical visible data, but I think it’s real.” 

Buck could tell that Hen was at least partially humoring him, but at least she wasn’t insisting that he go to the hospital anymore. She mostly looked bemused. 

“We have a string connecting us,” Buck said, pointing between them. “Most of the strings are yellow, but some are green or blue. Everyone has a red string, it’s supposed to be attached to your Soulmate. You and Karen. Chim and Maddie. Athena and Bobby. All red.”

“Hmm, good to know, not that I doubted it,” Hen said and she was smiling a little. 

“My red string, I found out where it ends.” 

“What?” 

Buck chuckled. “Yeah. I, uh, I’ve been kinda freaking out a little.” 

“If what you’re saying is true then that woman is your Soulmate? What are you even waiting for?” 

Buck looked away. It really would have been nice of dispatch to send them a call. He glanced behind him. Bobby was in the kitchen with Chim. Eddie was at one of the tables talking to Christopher over facetime. 

“It’s, uh, it’s not a woman,” Buck got out. 

“Oh,” Hen said, eyes widening. She dropped the book on the couch next to her. “Oh. Buck, are you…I mean how do you feel about that?” 

“Why do you think I’ve been freaking out?” 

“So maybe the whole string thing doesn’t work that way?” Hen tried. 

Buck shook his head. “I’m freaking out because I had no idea that I liked men that way too and what if I mess this all up because I’ve never been with a guy before? What if this all goes wrong and I screw things up with the person that my string leads to.” 

“Buck,” Hen said in a gentle tone. “You won’t. Look, string of fate aside, any guy that doesn’t accept your journey to realizing this about yourself isn’t worth your time.” 

It was nice to hear it from Hen. 

Tommy had seemed like the decent sort. He’d flown into a hurricane just because Chim reached out to him and told him Hen had a hunch. For all his confidence and skill, he’d still tried to downplay that. 

“You’re right,” Buck said. 

“And, Buck, I’m proud of you.” 

“What?” 

“It isn’t easy coming to terms with who you are and honestly I’ve seen you checking out guys for years.” 

Buck burst into laughter. He could feel how warm his face had gone and Hen laughed too. They got a few looks from the others, but Hen shook her head at them. 

“Had to be there,” she said. In a quieter tone just for Buck to hear, “you don’t have to tell anyone anything until you’re ready.” 

“Thanks, Hen.” 

It felt far too obvious to ask Hen if she could pass along Tommy’s number to him, so before their shift ended, Buck asked as casually Chim as he could. Chim didn’t seem to think anything of it. 

“He’s a cool guy, that Tommy,” Chim said.

“Yeah, I thought so,” Buck said. 

Buck called as soon as he was back home. He was nervously pacing his apartment as the phone rang. On the third ring, it was finally picked up. 

“Hello,” Tommy’s voice sounded a little winded. 

“Uh. Hi,” Buck said. “This is Evan. Evan Buckley, we, uh, we met the other night when—”

“Oh. Evan! Yes. How are you?” 

“I’m good. Great. You?” 

“I’m doing alright,” Tommy said. “What can I do for you?” 

“Are you always so quick to offer favors?” Buck asked. 

Tommy chuckled. Buck loved the sound of it. Wanted to hear it again. 

“Not necessarily, but you did call me out of the blue so I had to assume you needed something. Am I right?” 

Buck didn’t stop moving across the floor of his loft. He had never been so nervous before and that was saying something because Buck did plenty of things that other people would find nerve racking. One area where Buck had always managed to be a little too bold and a little too willing to just go for it had always been when it came to flirting even if often it just led a single night or a single afternoon or morning. Tommy made him nervous and Buck didn’t even think it had anything to do with him being a guy…or at least, it wasn’t entirely that. 

“Oh. Well, yes. I was wondering if you would ever want to give me a tour of Harbor? Kinda hard to see everything in the dark.” 

Tommy took a pause before he responded. “I can do that. Sure.”

“Cool.” 

Tommy chuckled again. “Cool,” he repeated. 

They figured out a time that worked for them in a couple of days and Buck couldn’t find any excuse to keep him on the phone longer. Afterwards, he kinda just hung his head and groaned. Why did he feel like a teenager all of a sudden? And he hadn’t even really asked Tommy out as much as made it into a work thing. He was hopeless. Absolutely hopeless. 

When the day of the tour arrived, he might have also taken his entire closet apart to find the right outfit. His plan was to arrive for the tour and get talking to Tommy and then offer to get a drink with him or something. Then, maybe when they were out of Tommy’s place of work, he could try and show that he was interested in something more. He’d flirt and smile and pull out all his best moves. 

None of that went to plan. He could sort of tell that Tommy was confused about Buck’s request for the tour and yet he led him through the space showing him everything. It was definitely impressive. Tommy was impressive. Buck couldn’t tell for sure if Tommy was flirting with him because he was subtle about it so it could have been passed off for something else maybe, but he did think he caught him checking Buck out a few times and that…well, that was a good sign. 

And then…then Eddie was suddenly there. 

Tommy had plans with Eddie. 

Tommy and Eddie were high fiving and grinning at each other like they’d known each other for ages. 

The outfit that Tommy was wearing that Buck had convinced himself was in some effort to impress him because Tommy was off-shift and had still been willing to show Buck around on his day off, was suddenly less about Buck and more about him going to a fight with Eddie. A fight that they were taking the helicopter to because it was in Vegas. So the whole tour and the timing of it was convenient for Tommy and Buck was nothing more than an afterthought. 

Buck watched them go and he wondered if he’d gotten it all wrong, red string and all. 

The worst part was how foolish it made him feel. He’d convinced himself that he just needed to follow the string and that it wouldn’t steer him wrong. It wasn’t that simple though and he had perfect examples all around him. 

Chim and Maddie had had their ups and downs. Hen had cheated on Karen. Even Bobby and Athena had their issues and they had both been married to other people and had kids with those other people. The red string had to have some kind of fine print that stated it didn’t guarantee smooth sailing. 

So, if Tommy was interested in Eddie then that was…Buck just had to be okay with that? 

All at once, he hated the strings. He wanted nothing to do with them and wished he didn’t even see them in the first place. So, he didn’t call Tommy again. Didn’t ask about the flying lessons he’d been offered or called in the rain check for the beer Buck had said he’d buy for him. He tried not to think about Tommy at all. 

Except that Eddie couldn’t stop talking about Tommy. Not just the fight, but how Tommy had helped him fix up the Chevelle and how Tommy apparently knew muay thai and Eddie finally had someone he could spar with. He talked about how Tommy was a regular at a karaoke trivia thing — Buck loved trivia…it was so unfair how perfect Tommy was. Eddie had even brought Tommy along to meet Christopher and they had definitely hit it off. Chris couldn’t stop talking about Tommy the night Buck wound up babysitting. Even Marisol had nice things to say about him when she stopped by to pick up something she’d forgotten at Eddie’s house. 

Buck didn’t really get Marisol. She was friendly enough, but always a little standoffish. Eddie never brought her around to get togethers with the rest of the 118, either, and Buck couldn’t help but be weirded out by how few strings she had and how she didn’t connect to Eddie or Chris. She also didn’t seem to care that Eddie was spending every spare moment of free time with Tommy instead of with her. Or even how Eddie talked about Tommy way more than he’d ever talked about Marisol. 

So, maybe Buck was simmering in a pot of jealousy and he had no idea why Marisol wasn’t in her own pot over the same stovetop. 

When he saw that Eddie was going to the pickup basketball game with Tommy and that he’d gone and circled the date on the calendar, he felt the pit in his stomach grow. Eddie had been begging him to join him at basketball for weeks and Buck always turned him down. It was tempting to just show up, but at the same time the last thing he wanted to see was Tommy and Eddie’s friendship or whatever it was — god, he really hoped it was just friendship — on full display. 

A glance at his strings told him they were all still there, still as strong and vibrant. Maybe, he just had to trust them and trust that Tommy’s attention would eventually come to him. 

He ignored the way that Eddie was always on his phone with Tommy. He ignored the pang in his chest. He ignored the way that Hen looked at him with questions. He ignored when Chim brought Tommy up and talked about how cool and awesome he was. Buck was well aware. 

One night, when his apartment felt too big and too empty, Buck decided he was done with the pity party. It wasn’t going to help anyone, least of all him. So, rather than wallow, he got in the shower, pulled on clothes that he knew were a little tight and that definitely showed off his best assets, and then he went out. 

Back in the day, Buck had had specific bars and clubs where he went to blow off steam. He’d get a little drunk, maybe pick up a girl that wanted to have a good time and sometimes — most times — they didn’t actually make it further than the bathroom in their haste. But this time, he wanted to try something different. That was how he found himself at a gay bar. 

It was noisy and the music was loud. Getting to the bar to order a drink took some time, but Buck had nothing but time. By the time that he had his beer in hand, he’d gotten to survey the place a little. Strings were everywhere. They were tangled and messy and here or there Buck could see red strings. Two girls at the bar next to him were connected by a red string. They were flirting and smiling and Buck could tell that they’d only just met. He smiled to himself and glanced around some more. 

Two guys making out with their arms wrapped around each other had a red string between them. Another pair didn’t have any string at all. 

Someone tapped his shoulder. He was a few inches shorter than Buck. His blond hair fell over his eyes like a curtain and he had a nice smile. His arms both had intricate tattoos that Buck was immediately interested in getting a closer look at. 

“Hi,” he said. “You looked a little lonely over here.” 

Buck was struck by the idea that he could do this. The guy was looking at Buck with unmistakable want. His eyes had drifted up and down Buck twice and they stared at his lips like he wanted nothing more than to taste them. Buck knew what that looked like on a girl and he couldn’t say it didn’t do something to know he was wanted. 

“It’s my first time here,” Buck admitted. “I’m Buck.” 

“Jer,” Jer said. “Come out and dance with me? No pressure.” 

So, Buck did. He drowned the last of his beer and left the bottle behind and followed Jer out to the dancefloor. 

It was packed with bodies and Jer reached out and grabbed Buck’s hand so they wouldn’t get separated. He couldn’t deny it was strange to hold hands with a guy just in the sense that the hand he was holding wasn’t soft and delicate but stronger with longer and thicker fingers. When Jer stopped, he let Buck go and he swayed in front of Buck. 

“Relax,” Jer said, grabbing Buck by the hips. 

Buck did. The music was too loud for conversation, but it had a good beat and Buck wasn’t the best dancer by any means, but he got moving and Jer helped him along. 

By the end of two songs they had gotten closer and closer and Buck couldn’t say that he was against the feel of Jer’s body against his. He liked the energy that Jer exuded and how he made it easy. And yet…and yet Buck couldn’t imagine it becoming anything more than just this. 

There wasn’t a string between them, but that wasn’t why. It was because Buck wanted Tommy. 

Jer was hot in his own right and there were plenty of other guys that were hot too, guys that even had the same build as Tommy. They just…they weren’t Tommy. 

Buck motioned for the bar when the next song came to an end and Jer followed close behind him, a hand pressed to the small of Buck’s back. He caught the eye of the bartender right away and they both ordered. 

“I can get it,” Jer said. 

Buck shook his head. “No. I got it. Listen, I’m really not—”

Jer nodded. “I know. You did look lonely, it’s why I came over here, but I’m not really looking for anything either.” 

“Oh?” 

Jer rolled his eyes. “Okay, so that’s a lie. I am kind of seeing someone but we’re open and my friend ditched me for this girl she met. You looked like you could use some fun and I mean, have you looked at yourself? Muscles, that nice tight tush. Delectable.” 

Buck didn’t know what to do with most of what Jer had said, but he still paid for both of their drinks which was exactly when he felt his red string pull. He knew which direction to look in and when he turned his face, his eyes met Tommy’s. His hands tightened on the cold glasses and he handed Jer his glass without turning to look at him. 

Tommy strode through the crowd. He was headed right for them. 

“Wow,” Jer said. “Now that is an adonis.” 

Buck laughed. His red string pulled. Tommy was caught up behind a small crowd of people. 

“Kev — my um partner, he would be salivating right now. Actually…looks like you are too. Wait, is he coming this way?” 

Jer bumped Buck’s shoulder and Buck glanced at him. 

“Do you know him?” Jer asked. 

Buck nodded. A couple of feet away from them, Tommy stopped.

“Hi,” Buck said. 

“Evan,” Tommy said and why oh why did he say his name like that. 

“Tommy,” Buck said back for lack of anything else to say. 

“Maybe Tommy wants a drink,” Jer said, nudging Buck and very obviously giving Tommy a once over. 

Buck blinked, looked towards Jer who seemed to be trying to communicate something with his eyes, and then back at Tommy. Tommy was glancing between them. He frowned and kinda made a move as if to walk away. 

“I do owe you a beer,” Buck said.

Tommy’s lips turned up. “You never called,” he said and once more glanced at Jer. 

“I, uh, I didn’t think you wanted me to,” Buck said. “Not to mention, you were pretty busy, so…”

Jer touched Buck’s shoulder. Buck was very reluctant to look away from Tommy for even a second. “Hey, I’m gonna go. I think I see my friend and her new friend over there. It was nice to meet you, Buck. Don’t do anything I wouldn’t do…namely climbing that man like a tree.” 

Buck was glad he hadn’t taken a drink. He still coughed and Jer pat him on the shoulder, winked, and walked away. Buck shook his head. 

“Friend of yours?” Tommy asked. 

“Kinda met him tonight.” 

“Oh,” Tommy said. “I, uh, I hope I wasn’t—”

“No, no. It wasn’t like that. He was just friendly. Anyway, so, beer? My treat?” 

Buck turned to flag down the bartender. 

“Whatever he wants,” Buck said and pointed to Tommy. 

“What did you mean?” Tommy asked, moving in closer. Buck could practically feel the heat of him and he would be lying if he said he didn’t want him closer. 

“About what?” Buck asked. 

Tommy chuckled. “What did you mean I was busy?” 

Buck felt all of it coming back. All the times that he had to hear about another hang out between Tommy and Eddie. How even Chim had gone to play basketball with them and apparently Tommy was better than Chim had remembered. How he had definitely thought about calling Tommy again a few times but every time it crossed his mind he thought about how Tommy probably already had plans and it had left him changing his mind and feeling like he’d lost out on something before he even got a chance to try. 

“I don’t know,” Buck said. “I guess Eddie talks about all the things you guys have been doing together. Didn’t really feel like there was room for me.” 

“Evan,” Tommy said and it was filled with incredulity and amusement. “You do know people can have multiple friends right?” 

Buck let out a breath. “I know,” he said. 

“I, uh, I was hoping to hear from you,” Tommy said. 

“Oh?” Buck asked, perking up. 

“I thought…well, I thought maybe you were flirting with me. But I kinda asked Chim about you and he said you were straight. Eddie went on a rant about your last girlfriend? Taylor? So I thought I made it up and when you didn’t call I just figured I must have been wrong. But now, you’re here…at a gay bar.” 

When Buck glanced at Tommy’s face, he saw something that looked like hope. Between them the red string shone bright. 

“It’s new,” Buck said. 

“What?” Tommy asked, a cute confused frown appearing on his face. 

“I didn’t know I was into guys too,” Buck said. “Not until a few weeks ago.” 

“Oh?” Tommy asked. 

“When I met you,” Buck confirmed. “It’s always been there. I didn’t think about it or realize and looking back a lot of things make sense. But I didn’t know and then I did—” 

Buck focused on drinking the mojito Jer had ordered for him. The sweet minty taste was perfect. 

“And then you came here?” Tommy asked and he moved closer to Buck’s side. “Did you want to put it to the test? See if you really were into men?”

Tommy was so close that he could feel his warm breath. He could smell his earthy cologne. When Buck shifted closer, his shoulder pressed into Tommy’s chest and he inhaled. 

“I didn’t need to test anything,” Buck said. “I was only here for a drink. My apartment felt too big but everyone was busy.” 

“Not me,” Tommy said. He took a long gulp of his beer and set it down on the counter behind him. 

“I guess not,” Buck said and he smiled. “I guess I finally get you to myself.” 

Tommy chuckled and Buck felt it go through him. He felt Tommy’s hand come to his waist. It was warm and strong. Buck leaned into it, turned into Tommy. They stared at one another and Tommy was smiling. Buck knew he was smiling back too. Tommy’s other hand drifted up between them, fingers catching Buck’s chin. Buck let out a small gasp and then Tommy was leaning towards him. He moved slow, slow enough that Buck could have pulled away. He leaned closer and when Tommy’s lips finally met his, he kissed him back. 

Buck loved kissing. He was a big fan of kissing. Kissing Tommy was on a whole other league to kissing anyone else. When Tommy pulled away, Buck chased him. Tommy leaned his forehead against his and it was as if the whole world around them had faded. Buck started their next kiss and Tommy let him take the lead until they were both out of breath. 

“Would it be bad if I asked you to come home with me?” Buck asked. 

Tommy pecked his lips. “Only if you’re sure.” 

“I am,” Buck said. “I really really am.” 

Tommy finished his beer and Buck drank the last of his mojito. On their way to the door, he spotted Jer. He was talking to the girls Buck had seen earlier. Jer gave him a nod and a smile. 

He didn’t sleep with Tommy that night. Or rather, they did sleep because they fell asleep on Buck’s couch in between kissing and talking and laughing, but he didn’t take him up to his bed despite how much he actually wanted to. It was just that talking to Tommy was just as stimulating. Tommy was smart and quick. He was funny and sarcastic and he didn’t seem to mind when Buck rambled off a fact or two or three all in a row. 

So, he woke up in the very early hours of the morning, his head resting on a strong chest, his arms wrapped around Tommy’s torso, and Tommy’s arm rested over his back, hand at Buck’s waist. Their legs were tangled together. Buck was glad, then, that when he replaced his couch — hopefully for the last time in a while — he’d picked this big comfy one. His thought had been that it would be useful the next time he got injured and couldn’t go up and down stairs. It was turning out useful in other ways, not that they still wouldn’t be sore after spending the night there together. 

He extricated himself as careful as possible, but Tommy still grabbed his wrist and he blinked his eyes open, a smile forming on his lips when he spotted Evan. 

“Time is it?” Tommy asked groggily. He let go of Buck’s wrist. 

“Early. Sun’s not even up yet,” Buck replied. 

Tommy groaned. 

“Hey, lets go upstairs. Well, first I have to pee, but we can go back to sleep.” 

Tommy made a noise that sounded like a groan and when he stood he groaned again. “I’m too old for sleeping on the couch.” 

Buck snorted. “Go up, I’ll be right there.” 

A few minutes later he found Tommy already passed out in his bed. He climbed in and Tommy drew Buck against him. Buck stayed awake for only a few minutes, marveling at how different things were all of a sudden. They barely even knew each other. Buck knew that for his part the string had helped and yet he had no doubt that he and Tommy would have found each other somehow. They were meant to be, after all. 

-

It took almost six months for Buck to tell Tommy about the strings. It wasn’t that he didn’t want to tell Tommy as much as that he could never find the right way to do it without sounding crazy. He never did stop seeing them, but learned to just ignore them. They were there and they did what they were supposed to do. And yes, sometimes, he was still shocked by the strings he saw.  

Just like when he first met Mara and found a string connecting her to Maddie and Chim, something that didn’t become clear until they decided to foster her for Hen and Karen who also had strings connecting them to Mara. Then, there was the day that he and Tommy ran into Connor and Kameron and the baby that Buck had helped them conceive. Buck had somehow just expected a string to exist between him and the baby, but none existed even if one existed from Buck to Connor and Kameron both. 

That probably would have made for a good time for Buck to explain, but he’d had to explain about the sperm donation and that had seemed like enough to put on Tommy at once. 

It seemed almost ironic that the reason that he had to tell Tommy about the strings was because of Taylor Kelly. 

Buck had never expected to ever have to deal with Taylor again after she published that book, but when Eddie had the idea to involve her in getting rid of Gerrard, he’d been forced to agree that it was a good idea. He did ask too many questions about how Eddie had wound up in contact with Taylor, but she was one of the few people that would be relentless enough to do something about Gerrard, so she had that going for her. 

Eddie invited everyone over to talk it all out with Taylor. Buck had been a little against it until he was reminded about how much Gerrard sucked. So, he’d just insisted on bringing Tommy along. 

As it turned out, a string did exist between him and Taylor, but Buck had expected it. What he didn’t expect was to see where her red string ended, because it did end. It ended on Eddie. 

He had no idea what his face did when he saw it, but he did see the way that Hen was looking at him. 

“Evan, you alright?” 

Buck tried to nod. He swallowed some water and tried not to look at it. Eddie and Taylor hated each other. The whole time that Buck was dating her had been a game of keeping them from being at each other’s throats when they were in the same room. It had been exhausting. 

“Buck?” Hen asked. 

“I’m going to the bathroom,” Buck said. 

Tommy naturally followed him. “Hey, are you okay?” 

So Buck took his hand and dragged him out through Eddie’s kitchen door to the backyard. It was small, holding just a grill and a little patio where Eddie had a table with four chairs. Buck beelined for it. 

“Have you ever heard of the red string of fate?” 

“Maybe? I don’t know,” Tommy said. 

Buck offered up a small smile because it reminded him of every time he brought up something new. Tommy did sometimes already have some knowledge prior to Buck’s ramble, but more of than not he didn’t, or he wanted to listen to Buck refresh his memory. 

“It’s this theory about…well, about the universe. This idea that some people are meant to meet like Soulmates and along the way you pick up all these other little connections to the people that either help you get to who you need to be with or just because they are that impactful in your life.” 

“Okay,” Tommy said. “What does this have to do with—”

Buck shook his head. “I’ll get there,” he said. 

Tommy grabbed his hand and gave it a squeeze. Buck smiled. “So they’re threads or strings and the red ones connect you to your Soulmate. Tommy, ever since I died, I’ve been able to see the strings. They’re everywhere coming from everyone.”

Tommy didn’t pull his hand away, but he did give him a disbelieving, bemused stare. “Evan, what does that mean exactly?” 

“It means that when I woke up from the coma I could see everyone’s strings.”

“And you told your doctors about this right? Because hallucinations can be a sign of a lot of things.” 

Buck laughed. “Yes. We did all kinds of tests and no one believed me until Bobby explained about this theory. So I looked into it. There are so many people that claim they can see the strings, or that they saw them. There’s scientific research, but they’re not tangible. You can’t touch them and people walk through them all the time. Hard to prove.”

“Okay. Okay. As long as you don’t have a brain tumor, I’m following you on this. So you can see these strings all the time?” 

“Yes. Well, I can kind of ignore them and they fade into the background a bit. I don’t pay them any mind mostly because…well, because they aren’t harming anyone and because it almost doesn’t matter that they’re there. At first I thought it got rid of free will if we just go along and wind up with a predestined Soulmate or something, but it’s more that these connections help us get to where we’re supposed to be.”

“Okay,” Tommy said. 

Buck could see the question in his eyes and he knew why Tommy wasn’t asking it. Buck wouldn’t ask if he were in his shoes even if he really wanted to know. Buck wanted him to know. Tommy kinda went still and he peered at Buck with trepidation. 

“You broke up with Taylor before the lightning. You never saw her string,” Tommy said and he made to let go of Buck’s hand. 

Buck held on quick. He shook his head. “Oh, god. No, Tommy, no, that’s not — look at me, just look at me. Yes there is a string between me and Taylor but it’s yellow. But you’re right, I never saw her strings before.”

Tommy relaxed and let out a breath. 

“You scared me there, Evan.” 

“I know,” Buck said. “I’m sorry. I guess I wanted you to understand it all.”

“Sure.” 

“So, anyway, if you take us for example,” Buck said. “We could have met so many other ways. You left the 118 and I started. Chim and Hen invited me to drinks several times that first year and I know you went at least to a few of those. There’s the time that you flew in and dropped water. The day at the bridge collapse. The day I ran into Lucy at the badge and ladder bar. So many other calls that we’ve both been at in some capacity or another. We’ve been circling each other for years and maybe we weren’t quite ready for each other, but every single person that’s been involved shares a string with both of us. And our string, Tommy, our string is red.”

“Oh,” Tommy said. “So you knew when we met.” 

“Yes, but I don’t think it would have changed anything if I didn’t know,” Buck said. “I mean, I noticed how attractive you were and then the string and then I had a bit of a sexuality crisis.”

Tommy nodded slowly. He pulled Buck’s hand to his lips gave his knuckles a kiss. 

“So,” Tommy said, “why did you freak out in there?” 

Buck had almost forgotten. It was the effect that Tommy had on him and Buck wouldn’t have it any other way. When he was with Tommy everything narrowed down to him and Tommy and nothing else mattered. 

“Well, turns out her red string goes to Eddie,” Buck said. 

Tommy’s eyes widened and then he was laughing and Buck laughed with him. For Tommy the stories were a bit fresh because Buck had been ranting a little when Eddie told him about his plan to sic Taylor at Gerrard, so Tommy got exactly why Buck had reacted the way he had. 

“Evan, tell me you’re joking?” 

“Nope,” Buck said. 

The door to the kitchen opened behind them and Eddie peaked out. 

“Here they are,” Eddie called behind him. “I swear, we thought you were having sex in the bathroom and I was going to be really mad.” 

Taylor stepped out and the string was right there between them, glowing and existing and Buck wasn’t going to do a thing about it. However fate dealt those cards…well, maybe Buck would get some entertainment out of it. 

“I told you they weren’t having sex in your bathroom,” Taylor said to Eddie. “But you are wasting our time, Buckley. Get your muscular boyfriend and come back inside.” 

Tommy met his eyes as they got up and they both stifled laughter. Buck couldn’t wait to tell Hen about it.

Tommy grabbed his hand and they walked back towards Eddie’s house. Tommy stopped him right at the door, pulling him into a short sweet kiss. Buck saw the string between them glow and he smiled against Tommy’s lips. 

[captain-hen]

I have been telling my friends that season 7 is a bridge. Also, that Tim had a plan and as he wasn’t in the last 2, the story isn’t as he planned so he spent the whole season taking the characters there. Meaning healing from last trauma to add new traumas and building the foundations for the next season, foundations he thought were going to be build.

For example:

- Chim and Maddie fostering Mara is the bridge to Maddie and Chim having another child, maybe adopting this time.

- Hen and Karen will adopt Mara, and I’m not quite sure about the next step because I’m thinking about Captain Hen but I don’t think it’ll happen in the next season.

- Bi Buck we know what bridge that is even if some people don’t want to accept it.

- Eddie, being bad written, is the bridge to prioritising and putting himself first for them establishing boundaries with his parents. (Kind of Buck did). Also, to discover himself and what he really wants. Healing.

- Bobby to realise he’s a hero and that his works wasn’t over, especially now that Gerrard is back.

- Athena hasn’t been a proper cop this season and both times (Harry incident and whatever the fuck was the Amir thing) she has used her power so I think something will happen there that’ll make her stop and think.

The reason why the wasn’t room for development is because for some stories, it was the end (Chim being traumatised in his wedding by Doug) and for other stories it was the beginning (the whole episode 7x10)

i'm sorry, i don't want to sound like i'm being dismissive of your opinion because you're entitled to it, but i don't agree with any of this. to start with, it's too bad that tim couldn't tell the story he wanted to after s4, but that's not an excuse for him to come back two seasons later, throw a temper tantrum and ignore everything that's happened since that isn't convenient for him. lol. as for the rest, let's break it down:

this sets up for maddie and chim having another child...except we don't actually KNOW how THEY feel about it. they've never talked about having more kids, let alone fostering. we never saw any of this from their POV, we were just up and told that they wanted to do it for henren. which is a beautiful thing for them to do, but we don't know what they feel about it, if they've considered the logistics of having a second child, about jee having a sibling—none of it!

my issue with henren this season was that they recycled the plot of them having trouble with expanding their family for, what, the...third time? it's so tired and feels like misery porn at this point (and let's not even get into the uncomfortable racial elements around the way mara was written in 7x05).

something as monumental as the bi!buck arc should have been explored better. sorry. aside from his conversation with maddie, we barely got to see buck do any kind of serious self-reflection about this major part of his identity and his relationship with tommy, has, well. it's just been written in a very strange and off-putting way post 7x05. sorry to say.

whatever happened with eddie is really not the way to get him to prioritize himself! think about it. for the first time he prioritized his own grief in trying to get catharsis with kim. and it backfired on him spectacularly. he hurt his kid. he lost christopher. i don't think he's ever gonna recover from this guilt. if anything, what's happened will only reinforce his belief that he should never prioritize himself, ever. the thing with kim didn't lead to any kind of healing, it made everything a million times worse. he was quite literally punished by the narrative for his grief and it's quite sickening. and given how things were handled this season i highly doubt it will be treated with any kind of nuance or care in the next.

this has not been the first time athena has abused her power—only the most egregious instance of it—and it won't be the last. if abusing her power in s1 and harassing a teenage girl then didn't get her to stop and think, i don't think this will. sorry.

my entire point, is that most of the things you've mentioned here was incredibly last minute. madney fostering mara. the eddie/kim plotline. eddie's conflict with chris. the bobby and amir plotline. everything in 7x10 felt like an afterthought. why is it that bobby's life was in serious danger and yet we barely saw anything of him? why didn't we get to see more the firefam being worried over him and holding vigil? how is it that eddie and chris didn't even have a single conversation before chris went away to a different state?

you don't use all ten episodes of a season just to set up new plot points for the rest without developing or concluding the stuff already going on in a meaningful manner that makes sense. sorry.

[buddiesmutslut]

Hot Take

BUCK IS THE BEST PERSON TO GIVE DATING ADVICE TO CHRIS, HEAR ME OUT.

Okay, I know we're all laughing about women fleeing Buck and how awful he is at relationships, but I don't feel like that's true.

First of all, just because a relationship ends, doesn't mean that it FAILED. Dating is as much about getting to know YOURSELF, what you want out of a relationship and what your own boundaries are as it is about getting to know the person you're dating. It's about growing, and learning from your mistakes, and I feel like Buck HAS done that. I'm not saying he's a perfect dater (the Taylor/Lucy thing, wtf was that?) but also, he has gotten better.

With Abby, he grew from fuckboy Firehose to someone that is considerate and thoughtful to his partner. (I don't LOVE that we credit Abby for his growth, since he was the one that made the initial boundary to not meet up right away because he didn't want to fall back into that sleep with anything that moves mindset, but she is mostly credited with it canonically, so we're going to use it.) Also, she didn't leave because Buck was a bad boyfriend or anything. She left because she needed to find herself after her mom died, and that's it.

With Ali too, she left because of his job, because she couldn't handle being with a first responder, which is a genuine concern for a LOT of people. It's hard to love someone with a dangerous job like that, and not know if they're going to come home at night. It had nothing to do with who Buck was as a boyfriend.

With Taylor, that whole relationship was a mess, IMO, them getting together when they did was a recipe for disaster. Obviously, Buck shouldn't have asked her to move in because he was scared to tell her about Lucy, but I'm not saying he's a PERFECT dater, I'm saying he's learning, and that's what's important. When he did admit to the kiss, Taylor is the one that decided that it wasn't a hard line for her, or she would have broken up with him, living together or not. It probably would have been awkward and complicated, but it was all of those things when they DID break up later in the series. From this relationship, Buck learned that it's better to be alone than it is to be with someone for the wrong reasons.

He has had a lot of growth from s1 to the end of s6, and that is clear in his dating.

Now, everyone that's saying Eddie should go to Bobby or Chim for advice, I'm going to say this: It's easy to date when you immediately find the person you're going to marry.

Let me be clear, I'm not saying that Madney & Bathena don't have their own struggles within their relationships, but Bobby and Chim got pretty luck, they found women that they clicked with and then eventually fell in love with almost as soon as they went looking.

When Bobby decided he was ready to move on from Marcy, the ONLY person we actually see him dating in the show is Athena, and they end up married.

After Tatiana leaves Chim, and he decides that he's going to be himself and look for a genuine connection, Maddie is conveniently placed in front of him.

I'm not saying that either of them are bad daters, or bad partners or anything, but we don't really SEE them date. Maybe it's because they're older and they already know what they're looking for and what they can and can't accept in a relationship, but realistically, it's wild to think that you're going to fall in love and get married to the first person that you find when you start dating. The majority of people have to date around and actually look to find the person they're meant to be with, not magically find them right out of the gate.

Especially for a FIRST first date, it's all about figuring out how dating works, what is and isn't expected and acceptable and navigating getting to know a new person, as well as yourself, and I think Buck is the clear best option when it comes to experience about women. He's had several girlfriends and also convinced only God knows how many people to sleep with him, so he's obviously charming, and pleasant to spend time within a romantic situation.

Also, God knows nobody is asking Eddie for dating advice, since the man only married his girlfriend bc she was pregnant and then had to be told (BY BUCK) that he deserved to be happy in a relationship instead of sticking it out for everyone else.

Anyway, this has been on my mind ever since that interview came out with everyone making fun of Eddie for going to Buck because he's had (based on what we're reading about Natalia's character) 4 "failed" relationships, but again, I truly believe that a relationship ending does not automatically mean it failed.

Also, Eddie goes to Buck because they're CO-PARENTS & SOULMATES but all of this other stuff too 😂

[lemotmo]

I'm not sure how you feel about getting these anymore but I thought this was hilarious so wanted to share for you at least to read even if you don't want to post. 😊

Q. I really was trying to hold onto the belief that the show wasn't going to make Eddie gay but it's really hard to see what other storyline is possible given those latest Ryan interviews. I would love to say gay or not the show would just keep Buck and Eddie as platonic best friends but there is zero chance of the show not pairing them together. They really did just use my man as filler until they were ready to tell the Eddie story. That's so gross.

A. Well, anon that's the point of a plot device. Their only reason for being is to move a larger story forward. By definition their filler characters. They have no individual significance or purpose. Their purpose is the story they're being used in. I've been telling you this for months now. Many of us have. He was never going to be anything more than a plot device. The show wasn't subtle about it either. It's been pretty much a connect the dots picture of plot device usage. Go back and watch his scenes in season 7 with this new found realization and I promise it will not be hard to see. And I agree, especially with the context the latest Ryan interviews gave, there's really not any other story it could be. He also confirmed they're not turning him into the new Bobby, and he's not siding with Gerard. So it was nice of him to debunk the latest round of ridiculous takes during the interview. If I could offer you a suggestion though I would encourage you to give the story a chance. If you pay attention to Eddie, and not your fandom people telling you to hate him, you will like him. After all there's a reason you all tried to hijack his entire backstory and history for Tommy. Let yourself enjoy the character those things actually belong too. Let yourself enjoy the actual story.

Oh Nonny! I feel joyous and happy whenever I get another of these posts in my ask box. While I'm asking people to not ask Ali any questions through my blog, I'm still perfectly happy posting her asks here. 😋

Especially since, for most of us, this is the only way to read Ali's posts and we do love her posts very much. So don't hesitate to drop something in my ask box. The only things I don't post about are the direct posts about the BT fandom, but Ali has told me she isn't replying to those posts anymore anyway, so that eliminates that problem.

As for the ask itself...

Yeah, so many of us have been saying this since day one. Tommy was only ever there to help Buck out of that closet. He was never really meant to be anything more than that. Sure, the change of the storyline because of the early renewal, gave Tommy some more time on the show, but that's where it ends.

So yeah, going back to rewatch the previous seasons, knowing what you know now? It will change the way you see Eddie and Eddie and Buck's friendship and maybe you'll find some joy in them. Just let it happen.

IMPORTANT! Please don't repost this ask and/or a link that leads straight to my Tumblr account on Twitter or any other social media. Thank you!

Heads up! For anyone who is giving me the shifty eyes for reposting Ali's updates instead of reblogging. Read this.

Remember, no hate in comments, reblogs or inboxes. Let's keep it civil and respectful. Thank you.

If you are interested in more of Ali’s posts, you can find all of her posts so far under the tag: anonymous blog I love.

[boykingsw]

sweetest devotion

for @tawaifeddiediaz , inspired by this post. ily

The storm goes on for days. Pounding rain against the windows keeps Buck awake far later than he should be, considering his state. He blinks in the darkness and tries to find the sound therapeutic, but in truth, the incessant noise does nothing more than encourage the headache already festering behind his eyelids. 

His phone chimes with a message on the bedside table. In the brief instant of light it provides, Buck welcomes the distraction. 

Hen: Just wanted to check in and see how you're doing. Hope Nurse Eddie is taking good care of you :)

Buck laughs quietly and types out a reply. 

pretty sure he passed out on the couch a while ago. mind if I call you?

Hen: Go for it.

The dial tone sounds twice before she picks up, sounding like she's already refraining from scolding him for not taking better care of his health. 

"Hey there," she says. "What are you doing up so late?"

"I could ask you the same thing," he deflects, halfheartedly. 

Hen hums. "That would be a fair question if one of us hadn't been hospitalized a few days ago. You're supposed to be resting."

Buck sighs. Touché. 

"What's keeping you up?" she asks, more gently.

"Just...can't sleep. This stupid storm won't let up."

"Ah. Yeah, Karen and I are still hoping the basement won't flood this time. Pretty sure half of everything we owned grew mould last year," Hen jokes. Buck chuckles. After a moment of silence on the line, she prods him again. "Is that...the only thing bothering you?"

Buck hesitates.

It isn't, of course. But he had yet to figure out how to broach the subject in the flurry of activity that had suddenly surrounded him. Medics trying to keep him awake and doctors trying to keep him alive, his sister tearing up and fussing over him the second he opened his eyes, Bobby filling a Tupperware container with homemade soup and sending it with him when he was discharged. Eddie taking a right turn instead of a left on the way home from the hospital with a scoff, because, "You think I'm letting you go home alone?"

Everyone just seemed glad he was okay. Nobody had said much else. Buck hadn't asked. 

But-

"Did you guys think I was dead?"

Hen is quiet for a second, thrown by his sudden frankness. Buck waits, his breath feeling strangely tight in his chest. "I mean, we hoped you weren't, but-" she sighs. "It looked pretty bad, Buck. Worse than the times before."

He hadn't really thought any less, but it shakes him a bit to hear her admit something more than the usual, "You gave us a real scare there, Buckaroo." Maybe because it actually makes it feel real. Makes the ache that lingers settle in deeper. He lays there, in bed in a house that isn't his but welcomes him as if he belongs in it all the same—where his face is in the pictures on the wall and his old t-shirts are in the washing machine and his best friend sleeps lightly in the living room, listening for any signs of pain so that he can help to ease it—and the the feeling becomes a reminder of everything he nearly lost. 

"So then why-" He swallows, pushing away a sudden wave of emotion that he can't quite define. Grief? Anger? "Why would Bobby send Eddie up there after me? Wasn't there a- a better way to-?"

Hen cuts him off with a dry laugh. "No one sent him, Buck," she says. "He was up there before the rest of us could think to move." 

Buck blinks. 

"Well- why didn't anyone stop him? Come up with a better plan? I mean-"

"Do you really think we could've stopped him?" Hen asks.

Buck finds he doesn't actually know the answer. 

In wake of his silence, she rephrases the question. "If the roles were reversed, would anyone have been able to stop you?"

Buck's head begins to spin. Because no, of course not. It wouldn't matter if the whole world was screaming at him to stop—if Eddie was the one hanging from the top of that ladder, Buck would do anything to bring him back down to earth. Just like he's done before. But that's because–

Well, it's because of a feeling that settled itself in his chest long before he was able to give it a name. 

"Buck?" Hen's voice comes through the phone, but it sounds a bit farther away to him now. "You still there?" 

"I-" he starts. Stops. His mind is running in circles and he can't quite catch up. 

More softly, Hen asks, "Didn't you know he'd do the same?" 

And-

"No," he breathes. "I don't think I did."

Yet suddenly it seems like it’s been there, in the photos and the laundry and there in the next room, on that couch, this whole time. In the arguments and the anger and the long, hard conversations, too. The big things and the small—he'd just never looked close enough to see it. 

"Listen Hen, I think I'd better-"

"Yeah, you better.” He hears her smile through the phone. “Goodnight, Buck."

"Goodnight," he says. "And uh- thanks. For the talk."

"Anytime," she says, and hangs up.

On his slow but steady journey from the bedroom down the hallway, he follows the gently flickering light of the television and tries to figure out what, exactly, he plans to say in order to unravel his tangled mess of a brain and present it as something comprehensible. When he finds Eddie, however (not sleeping like he'd thought, but watching one of those made-for-TV romance movies that he's always claimed to hate) the first thing that comes out of his mouth is–

"You're an idiot."

Eddie turns to look at him, wide-eyed and startled and a little bit concerned. "Buck? What are you-?" He stands, blinking the sleepiness out of his eyes, and steps halfheartedly into the space between them, as if worried he might have to catch Buck if he spontaneously keels over in the doorway. "Is everything okay?"

"And a hypocrite too," Buck adds, disregarding the question. 

Now, Eddie just looks confused. "Am I?"

"You're supposed to be the sensible one,” he says, pointing his finger in the way that his mother had always told him was bad manners. “You're supposed to stay on the ground and stay safe while I pull the stupid stunts. That's how it works. That's how it's always worked." 

Confusion washes away, replaced by recognition. "Buck-"

"What were you thinking?" There's a distraught edge to his voice, he knows it, and knows Eddie hears it. Still, he makes no effort to hide it. He thinks there might not be much point to that anymore, anyway. 

"Someone had to go and get you." Eddie shrugs, guarded. "I guess I was just the fastest." 

"Eddie."

"Buck." He says, eyebrows raised.

"Why did you do it?"

"What, was I supposed to just leave you hanging up there?"

"Why did you do it, Eddie?" Buck repeats, and a layer of Eddie's expression slips away. 

He shakes his head. "I don't really know what you want me to say." 

"I would do the same for you. You know I'd do the same for you. I've done the same for you, more than once," he rambles, gaze fixed on Eddie's—searching, imploring. "And I know why I do it." He swallows the lump of apprehension in his throat. "It's the same reason every time, Eddie." 

He watches as another layer slips; crack after crack in Eddie's façade. Realization dawns—Buck sees it the moment it happens. Something flutters in his chest as the expression spreads across Eddie's face. 

"So I want to know why you did it," he says. 

Eddie's gaze softens. Carefully, nervously, he offers the truth. 

"Same reason as you, I think." 

He smiles, a slight thing. Buck does too. And for that one, brief moment, before either of them says another word, the storm seems to quiet; the rain slows, ever so slightly, to give them some small amount of reprieve.

It doesn't last, of course. But once Buck breathes out a 'thank god' and finally closes the distance between them, he can't seem to find it in himself to care.

[mvltisstuff]

hello!! i absolutely love, love love, your buck fics, cowboy like me was so good. i was wondering if i can request a fic? buck and reader are best friends too stubborn to realize their feelings and have to share a bed for some reason, buck for some reason knows this trope and prepares themself like “i can do this, they’re my best friend it won’t be weird” so morning comes and he wakes up but they’re not cuddling and he gets gets disappointed and that’s how he realizes his feelings and maybe a confession. thank you if you do this but no worry if you don’t get to it. take care ❤️

sweet nothing - e.b

summary: basically for the request above :)

evan buckley x reader

a/n: i was so so happy to see that someone requested something and i hope you enjoy it! 🩶🩶 i’ve never done a one bed trope before so hang in there. i’ll be editing this a little later as i am going out but i wanted to get this up for you!

edit: omg i lowkey read this wrong i’m so sorry i can def write it again if you’re not a fan of it

y/n and buck have known each other for years, working together at the station. they meshed so well together and they realized that their connection might be stronger than a normal one between co-workers.

they started hanging out more and more, going to bars and getting dinner. they’d go to parties together and they talked all the time. having to deal with the repercussions of being a first responder, they found comfort in each other. after a death or near a death, they’d go back to someone’s place, hoping to bring normality back to the day. the bad days and the good days, they were always there.

it’s hard for buck not to get attached to someone so easily after dealing with people leaving. he never received affection from his mother or father, and his sister leaving so soon changed his view on things. his ego might be big, but it’s not big enough to prevent him from clinging to someone who shows him an ounce of love.

they were scarily similar, and they knew it. that’s why they were friends. they could talk to each other and actually understand each other after not having anyone for years.

they both know they’re more than friends, and everyone at the firehouse teases them anyway. buck normally has no problem with admission, taking girls home and letting them forget him the next day. he cannot admit his feelings for y/n after all these years. whether it be encouragement from eddie or bobby, the fear of ruining the best relationship he’s ever had outweighs that.

after a crazy day off, driving around the city and doing anything they can imagine, they realize how late it is and start to drive home. bucks mood of the night goes from pure happiness to dread. he doesn’t want it to be over, because any time that is spent with her is more time that he feels like nothing could stop him.

“buck, where are we?” y/n asks in the passenger seat of his jeep.

“oh, we’re um… at the place i went a few weeks ago. i just-“

“don’t know how to get back?” she finished his sentence and he gives her a look.

“yes, i do actually! we just have to go down that freeway.” he tries fixing the situation, not wanting to leave her stranded in the middle of nowhere. “ok, i have no clue where we are, but it’s fine! we have google maps.” buck pulls out his phone and sits on the app for minutes, praying that the little loading sign goes away. some small part of him wants to turn on airplane mode and hope she doesn’t notice, so they can stay together for a little while longer. she looks over to the phone and sighs.

“just pull up to that gas station over there. i have to pee.” she says, and he starts driving over to the dark gas station with the 24-hour sign. after she runs in, she runs back out with a ton of snacks and drinks.

“i thought you were just using their bathroom?”

“what? it’s just a few snacks, what’s wrong with that?” she laughs and throws them back into the car as he’s waiting outside too, filling his tank.

“did you buy a map in there too?”

“very funny, buck. like you can read a damn map.”

“i could if we were stranded somewhere! and oh, take a look around.” he acknowledges the fact that they don’t know where they are, but can still make fun of each other and laugh.

“listen, let’s just drive around for a bit and see what we find.” y/n recommends. buck grumbles and gets back into his car, turning on the engine.

it mutters and doesn’t turn on, he tries again and realizes it’s not going anywhere. he keeps playing around with it before y/n interrupts him. “i think it’s broken, buck.”

“it’s a jeep, it’s fine!” he says, trying to defend his precious car.

“ok, well. i’m gonna go inside and ask where any hotels are.” y/n says, and buck runs his hand down his face.

“get a bag of doritos while you’re at it.”

after minutes of waiting, y/n comes out of the gas station and walks over to the car. “did you call a truck?”

“yeah, they’ll be here soon.”

“well, get your walking stick, partner because the nearest hotel is a mile away.” she says sarcastically, grabbing her stuff out of his car.

————————————————————————

“we’re sorry, ma’am but all our two guest rooms are full for tonight,” the hotel receptionist tells them.

“shit, ok. do you have any other available rooms?” buck peeps in and asks.

“we have a one person room on floor 3, it has a full bathroom and everything.” after the exhaustion of the night and having to walk around looking for this hotel, they basically will crash anywhere.

“we’ll take it.” they both say simultaneously.

they climb up the the room with their arms full of stuff they don’t even need. they swing open the door and make their way inside. “ladies first,” buck says, leaning against the door.

“thank you very much, sir.” y/n replies and places some of their goodies on the tv stand. “this is nice, i guess! we could fit in here if we really wanted to.”

“yeah, i can stay on the floor and you take the bed.” y/n laughs at his request and he gives her a confused expression.

“really, buck. we all know you’re picky about your sleeping situations. take the bed. i’m fine on the floor. ladies always take the bed.” she smirks at him.

“oh, well if you put it like that, i’ll take it,” he says, throwing himself on the bed. “you’re gonna sleep in jeans?”

“well, i didn’t bring an overnight bag. it’s fine, it’s just for one night.”

“i have en extra shirt in my car, just wear that. it’s big on me, so it’ll be like a dress!” he tells her. “a nightgown for the queen herself, if i must say.”

“you didn’t bring it in? you even brought your med kit?”

“you never know, y/n. what if you cut yourself open? you never. know.” he jokes.

“whatever,” she smiles and laughs. “i’m going to wash my face and i’m going to bed.” she walks into the bathroom and buck stays on the bed. he doesn’t want to leave her on the floor, but he doesn’t know if he could contain his thoughts if they slept together. that sounds really awful, but that might make him spit out words he doesn’t want her to know.

when she comes back out, buck is stripped of his shirt and left in his pants. her heart rate noticeably speeds up, and she doesn’t really know what to say. she’s seen him without a shirt, but spending the night together? she’s in for a hell of a night. her mouth is slightly open, and she closes it again, realizing he’s looking right at her. “like what you see?” he says, looking up from his phone. she shakes her head and turns around. she pulls on his massive shirt and now it’s his turn to have an internal freak out.

seeing his name on her back and his shirt on her body might send him into arrest. her soft hair falls down her back after she pulls out her bun and she runs her hands through it. buck looks around at her body, her shoulders peeking out through the top and the neckline down. he shakes his head and forces his eyes to look back down at his phone. she gets down on the floor, pulling the blanket over her and laying on the few that she placed under her. “g’night, buck. go to sleep.”

“n-night, y/n.”

————————————————————————

buck stays on the bed the whole night, being able to sleep peacefully in the quiet room. y/n on the other hand, feels like she’s gonna fall through the floor. she hates the floor, she would’ve taken the bed, but his comfort was more important to her.

she loves him, she really does, but both of their stubbornness and lack of acknowledgement of their feelings prevents her from making any moves. but she swears this hard, itchy rug might be the death of her.

buck feels the corner of the blanket get pulled up, and a light hand on his shoulder, pulling him out of his slumber. “move over, i cant stay on this rug.”

even the deep sleep he was in couldn’t keep his mind from going places. he was so happy, probably too happy. “yeah-yeah, of course.” he says, moving his body. he was wide awake now, turning to face her. “you know, i’m really happy we got stuck here together.”

her faces reveals a bright smile and buck can still see through the darkness of the room. “me too.”

they both turn over and fall asleep, trying to quiet the thoughts in their head. the ones that have been begging to be released for months.

when they wake up in the morning, y/n feels so much better. the sun was shining lightly through the shades and she rubs her eyes. she looks over and buck, whos much closer than she thought.

she realizes their closeness, his arms wrapped around her and their legs tangled together. her head is right next to his, their foreheads practically touching.

she thought about moving from her spot, it physically, she couldn’t bring herself to. the warmth of bucks body brought a whole new feeling. she felt at peace, which sounds silly but she felt like she could take on anything as long as he was there. it was her opportunity to be with him, being as close as ever.

he woke up from his own sleep, eyes fluttering open and his breaths were deep and slow. he looked up at her, and smiled when he saw how close they were to each other. “hey,” he says, with a raspy voice morning voice and y/n feels grateful to even hear one word.

“hi,” she whispers back to him. “sleep well?”

“i slept great, i wonder why,” he looks around and then lands his eyes back on her. “i’m glad you’re here.”

“you know, i kinda thought i was dreaming when i woke up,” she speaks. “i’m glad i wasn’t.”

“i’m glad you weren’t dreaming too.” he pulls her in, wrapping his arm around her lower back. he leans in, planting a sweet kiss on her lips. they stay in this position for a while, taking the time to spend with each other after waiting the past few years in hiding.

“uh… we should probably, um, get up?” she smiles and is practically speechless. she tries to form the words but really doesn’t want to go anywhere.

“nah, let’s stay here.” he pulls her in and rolls over her, but keeping his weight off. they whisper sweet nothings at each other and she giggles at his soft kisses all over, finally relieved that they can be together without the fear of ruining something great.