#and absolutely nothing between them ever went wrong
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so needy â enhypen hyung line
pairing(s): enhypen hyung line x fem!reader (separate!)
genre(s): pure smut. with some plot from overexplaining.
tags/warnings: SMUT! MDNI! needy but not quite subby, rough & sloppy unprotexted sex, face fucking, jake munch agenda, masturbating (m. rec), male whimpering yupp, lots and lots of descriptions of boners, seriously they are all hard. no prep for reader, exhibition heh.. (parking lot & bathroom at a party), tried my hardest to go needy im a hard!dom writer im sorry, creampie, one pullout method, cum eating, cum... feeding?, biting, uhh lmk if i missed any srsly. wc: 3.2k. 400-700 for each
đ: WE LIKE OUR MEN IN HEAT GROWLSđŠ
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@jjunieworld and i. we went insane. i went insane. i seriously tried to make them needy and jakes is probably the closest ill ever get to writing a subby idol. its hard. sorry. ill try harder because i like this i think. <3 i need to get them pregnant asap.
heeseung had been in the recording studio since he had woken up, and yet he still had a long night ahead of him due to editing and touch ups. he was going insane.
you had sent him a selfie of you when you woke up, complaining about him being gone. it was innocent. but heeseung has been rock hard since.
his thoughts were full of youâ every lyric had just reminded him of you and fuck heâs never needed you this badly before. the pillow that heâs kept on his lap all day felt like a fucking brick and heâs been subconsciously bucking his hips into it.
heeseung lets out a groan, throwing his head back as he cups his hardened cock through his flimsy sweats. he cannot take it anymore. pulling out his phone, he shoots you a text, complaining that he was hungry and didnât feel goodâ a little lie because he knows if he told you he was painfully hard, youâd just tell him to wait. he canât do that.
youâre so sweet to him, truly, you ask him if heâs okay and tell him youâll be there in ten.
the door automatically locks when it's shut and you walk up to him, resting your hand on his forehead. he is feeling warm. heeseung leans into your touch and groans softly before grabbing your wrist, throwing the pillow and sitting you on his lap.
not even three minutes later, heâs thrusting up into you relentlessly. youâre desperately trying to grip onto anything, his shoulders, the chair and even the equipment table behind you. heeseungs grip on your hips is tight, bruising even.Â
youâre both already cumming, the pace he set was too much for you and heâs simply been hard way too long to last more than seven minutes. though, as soon as he emptied himself inside you, heâs lifting you out of his lap, shoving aside an expensive keyboard and shoving your face down onto the table.
âfuck- fucking take it,â he spits as he continues pounding you from behind. âb-been so fucking hard all day, all because of you.â
his cock is hitting the most sensitive spots with his brutal speed, you almost feel as if you really did something wrong. you reach up to grip onto something, knocking into a few buttons in the process, turning on some musicâ which honestly helped cover the sounds of your moans but probably not necessary due to the soundproof room.
âhah- heeseung itâs t-too much!â you manage to squeak out, hiccuping and whimpering.
youâre spasming around his cock once more, he sloppily thrusts into you a few more times before pulling out and emptying himself on your lower back. you weakly lift yourself to peek behind you, glancing back and forth between his still hard cock and his eyes that were full of nothing but lust.Â
heeseung will be here all nightâ and so will you.
âââââââââââââââââ
jay thought itâd be a good idea, a great one! he brought you with him to tour some fancy guitar museum he was invited to. you both were so excited to attend, throwing on your best outfitsâ which included that one dress that jay absolutely went feral for.
he could barely focus on the guitar he was testing out when you were sitting so pretty and patient in front of him, smiling and cheering him on. he didnât even realize he was fucking up the chords, face red when he realized it wasnât just you and him in the room.
you sat in the acoustics room with him, dress riding up your legs, leather jacket hanging off your shoulder as you watched him pick at each string with so much adoration in your eyes.
jay was going to go fucking insane. he can feel himself hardening at the mere sight of youâ truly heâs usually better at keeping himself kept in public.
when you asked so sweetly to try out at guitar yourself, he thought he would combust right there.
he helps you choose a guitar, slipping the strap around your neck and even setting up the amp for you. jay sits back and watches as you play around with different chords youâve picked up from him, but his eyes refuse to leave your fingers.
the way they delicately pluck each string or how they grip the guitar pick, how your other hand grips the neck of the guitar to hold down strings. he almost groans when he watches you almost struggle to fit them around it.
if only that were his cock.Â
jay has to keep yanking and pulling at his jeans. he almost grabs the guitar from you just to cover his inevitable boner. his jaw is clenched, he wants to leave so fucking bad. heâs seconds away from pulling you into the closest room and tarnishing his image just to fuck you.
finally, your time at the guitar center was over. jayâs practically dragging you to the car and you arenât even sure why. maybe you did something to upset him?
as soon as you reach the car, heâs sandwiching you between him and the cold surface. your boyfriend doesnt waste a second before grabbing your hand and forcing you to grab his throbbing cock through his jeans.
âfor the past four fucking hours,â he grits out, nuzzling his face against your cheek, âfour fucking hours that iâve been so fucking hard. because of you.â
your face is red and youâre whipping your head around the parking lots, itâs almost empty thankfullyâ and dark outside. âi-i did this?â
he groans in the crook of your neck, âplease, baby, fucking need you now.â
those are the only words you need to get you to drop to your knees. your hands shake slightly as they fumble with his belt, pulling it apart and yanking his jeans down just enough to free his cock.Â
itâs practically red and leaking, you almost pout when you think about your poor boyfriend being that hard for so long because of you.
jay seems to not like how long you're taking because heâs immediately taking your hair into his fist and smacking his tip against your lips. you eagerly invite his length into your mouth, using your hands to work whatever you canât fit.Â
he has to hold back from cumming right there. the way your lips wrap around him so well, your throat struggling to take him. this is exactly what got him hard in the first place. jay rocks his hips back and forth, pushing his cock further and further into your mouth.
âyeah- fuck. taking me so well, huh?â jay mutters, biting his lip to contain his grunts. âthought about this exact fucking thing in there. so pretty around my cock.â
his words make you hum in arousal, sending vibrations down his length. jay groans and throws his head back, pushing you further down his cock. the gag that rips from your throat is almost enough to make him empty himself all over your face.
jay continues to practically fuck your mouth. your hands drop to grip his thighs as you let him use your mouth however he pleases. both of his big hands in your hair, forming a messy ponytail tail as he continues to thrust into you roughly.
âfuckfuckfuck! almost there, baby.â heâs almost whimpering, itâs so good. after a few more thrusts, heâs pulling out and cumming, emptying himself onto your cheeks and lips.Â
thereâs so much cum you have to take him back into your mouth to save yourself from a messy shirt.
jay pants as you ride him through his intense orgasm. needless to say, heâs fucking you again in the car this time.
ââââââââââââââââââ
jake was restless. he was quite literally rolling around on your bed as you ignored him for some stupid fucking book.
âjake, i seriously need to cram this by tonight. then we can hang out!â you promised him.
six fucking hours ago. he groans loudly, loud enough to make you scoff and shake your head.
âwhy donât you go play on my pc?â you suggest sweetly, âyou love the games i have on there!â
âi dont want to do that.âÂ
you sigh and shrug your shoulders in response, you already told him countless times that you were busy and heâs the one who chose to stay.
âbaby, please just take a break.â he pleads. âthereâs no way youâre finishing this by tonight.â
he rolls over on his stomach and grips onto your leg, sporting a dramatic expression. jake was right, there was no way you were finishing any of your work tonight, but that almost gives you more reasons to not take a break.Â
âthe sooner i finish, the sooner i'll be all yours baby.â you tell him, patting his fluffed up hair down, messy from rolling around.
he groans again, ânoo, baby i want you- no i need you now!â
âwhy are you so antsy right now, jake?âÂ
jake drops his head into your lap, muffling his voice. â âm so horny.â
âhm?â you hum, not quite hearing him. he only responds by softly kissing your inner thighs, unable to hold back any longer.
he pushes his jean clad cock against your soft mattress as he travels down your thighs, leaving a trail of kisses behind.Â
âjake.â
âi said im horny. im so fucking horny and you smell so good.â he repeats, lifting his head to look you in your eyes.
your brain freezes at his words. âi⊠iâll be done soon, i promise- just-â
he cuts off your words by pressing a desperate kiss over your clothes cunt, sending shivers down your spine. you can feel yourself getting wet by his needy and desperate actions.
âjake!â you whimper out when he licks a stripe over your pajama shorts. he doesnât even care that youâre still fully clothed, a piece of flimsy fabric won't stop him.
your boyfriend continues to make out with your cunt through your shorts, shifting to bite and suck at your thighs. âpleaasee.â he lets out a muffled whine.
youâve already dropped your books and papers beside you, soft whimpers leaving your mouth as your hands find their spot in his long hair. âfuckâ jake slow down!â
jake shakes his head, his own hands moving to yank down your sleep shorts. he knew you werenât wearing panties, and heâs pretty sure thatâs what got him so horny in the first place. the amount of times he looked down at your thighs to catch small glimpses of your ass and cute cunt because they were barely covered.
it took so much restraint to not shove his aching cock between your thighsâ make you forget all about your boring paperwork.
jake attaches his lips to your clit, sucking and practically making out with it. every now and then he shoves his tongue as deep as he can inside your oozing hole, gathering all your juices on his tongue and slurping.
you canât tell who's moaning louder, you or him. heâs attacking your cunt with everything he has all while rutting his hips into your mattress, attempting to pleasure himself but he could honestly cum untouched as long as he had your sweet pussy in his mouth.
heâs groaning against your cunt and letting out incoherent curses, âf-fuck.. hmph so- so good.â
your eyes roll to the back of your neck and you can feel the heat pool in your lower stomach.
âjake- gonna cum, please dont fucking stop!âÂ
jake listens well, continues to suck and lap at your wetness as if its his last fucking meal. you don't even notice his hand leaving your thigh to jerk himself off but when you doâ it pushes you immediately over the edge.Â
you tremble as you cum all over his mouth, and he only eagerly slurps it up. he doesnât pull away and until you yank him up by his hair, you stare at his soaked lips, your arousal dripping down his face.Â
he lifts himself up to kiss you, feeding you your own cum, his hand comes up to grip your neck as you engage in a desperate kiss.
when he lets go of you to rid himself of his pants, your hand comes up to touch the wetness left on your cheekâ it hits you that jake came all over his own hand while eating you out.
there was no way you were letting him out of your sight tonight.
âââââââââââââââââââ
sunghoon was giddy when he found out he could bring a plus one to the prada after party. he literally couldnât wipe the grin off his face when he told you that you could accompany him.
but now he almost regrets it.Â
since you were his plus one, you had gotten a free outfit from the brand. and god was it the best thing heâs ever seen you wear. but also the worst.
this wasnât his only issue. you were his plus one. so why the fuck were you pretty much attached to jungwon at the hip? why were you ignoring him when heâs the reason you were there?
itâs not like he was angry either, instead he just really really wanted you right there next to him. he was so fucking horny.Â
even before you both left the house to head over. he had no idea what the outfit looked like until you put it on and his eyes almost popped out of his head.
sunghoons also not really the type to voice his every thought to you, otherwise you both wouldâve skipped the party entirely just to fuck.
well, he wasn't angry. but he canât help it when the horniness eventually turns into pure sexual frustration. he leans further into the couch as he watches you bounce back and forth from jungwon and heeseung.Â
your lonely boyfriend couldnât even tell if he was jealous, angry or hurt. above all, he just wanted you to sit on his cock for the rest of the night. he understood that you were having fun, some of your other friends in the industry were also invited to this party but he couldnât help but to feel so left out.
he almost groans as he watches you make your way to yet another one of his members. what about him? heâs here too! his cock twitches beneath his dress pants and he sets his hand with his drink on top of it, hoping itâs not obvious that heâs suffering at this very moment.
âyou okay, man?â a voice calls from behind the couch, sunghoon looks up to see jake hovering. âyou havenât moved from that spot in about 40 minutes.â
sunghoon nods and shrugs, âcan you tell my girlfriend to meet me over here? i havenât seen her all night.â he lies through his teeth, heâs literally been watching you all night.
jake tilts his head in confusion, âuh, yeah. iâll go get her, be right back.â
he taps his finger on his cup as he watches jake whisper in your ear, pointing behind him in his direction. you glance behind jake and sunghoon quickly averts his gaze.
you nod and respond to jake before making your way over to your boyfriend.Â
sunghoon quickly downs his drink as he sees you walk towards him, a soft smile on your lips. so now youâre finally paying attention to him?
âwhatâs wrong, hoonie? jake said you needed me.âÂ
he nods, setting his drink down and grabbing your wrist instead, âyeah. i do need you, right fucking now.â
you donât get a chance to question his words before heâs yanking you towards the furthest bathroom in the building. youâre heels almost make it too hard to keep up with him and youâre calling out his name but heâs too occupied on finding any empty bathroom to fuck you in.
sunghoon finally finds one, tugging you into it and slamming the door behind you and clicking the lock.
âwhatâs wrong, baby?â you ask him again.
âwhy are you talking to every single one of my members but not me?âÂ
you blink at him, surely youâve interacted with him throughout the night. a smile grows on your face when it clicks. âawwe, hoonie! are you jealous?â
sunghoon grips your chin with his hand, âiâm not jealous. you ignored me, thereâs a difference.â
âi wasnât! and iâm here now, right?âÂ
he rolls his eyes, smushing his body against yours and the door. âbaby seriously. need you so bad right now, i had to watch you talk to everyone while i was sitting there so fucking hard.â
your eyes widen slightly, âwhy didnât you tell me?â
âgod this fucking dressâ iâm going insane.â he ignores your question completely, pulling the bottom of your dress up your thighs.
âsunghoon! we canât- not here!âÂ
âmm, i donât care.â sunghoon mutters as he pulls your dress above your hips. âtold you i needed you, huh?â
he grips your hips and moves you against the fancy bathroom vanity, turning you around and laying you flat against the counter.
sunghoon ruts his clothed hardon over your own panty clad cunt. âfeel it? feel how hard you make me all because a stupid dress?â
ây-yeah, hoonie.â
he sucks in a breath of air and yanks down your flimsy thong before practically ripping the button off his overpriced pants to free his angry cock.
you glance at him in the mirror when he aligns his leaking tip with your wet entrance. no amount of slick and arousal could make taking his size any easier.
âwait- baby i canât take you like that..!â you pleaded with him.
sunghoon doesn't listen, stuffing you with his length, ripping a gasp from you, forcing you to throw a hand over your mouth to contain any more noises from you.
he wastes no time before beginning to pound into you, your hips slamming against the edge of the vanity with each thrust. you feel every vein against your walls and soon the initial pain turns into pleasure.
your boyfriendâs sloppy and brutal pace tells you just how fucking needy heâs been for the past few hours. sunghoons letting out a string of curses as he continues to abuse your cunt to chase the orgasm heâs been craving for so long.
âgod. fuck- so fucking tight.â he groans out. ân-need it so bad.â
youâre biting your own hand to contain the noises that are desperately escaping your mouth, his pace making it impossible for you to stay silent. sunghoons bending over as he continues to fuck into you, gripping your throat as he leaves harsh bites on your shoulderâ marks thatâd be impossible to cover due to the thin and flimsy straps on your dress.
âshitââ his movements stutter before hitting his peak, his warm cum filling up your insides but he doesnât dare stop.
he continues to desperately thrust into you, overstimulating himself because heâs still so stupidly hard. grunts and whimpers are leaving his mouth, muffled by your neck and hairâ but his noises only bring you closer to your own peak.
âhoon..! c-cumming, please.âÂ
even after you cream around his cock, his movements donât stop. his thrusts are sloppy and his cock is knocking against your cervix, fucking you hard and deep all because he needs to cum again.
sunghoon lets out a loud groan as he finds himself emptying himself once more inside of you. rocking his hips slowly to ride himself through his second intense orgasm, it was almost painful.
he slips out of you with a grunt, his cock still half hard but he decided right there that the both of you would be leaving the party early.
#enhypen x reader#enhypen hard thoughts#enhypen hard hours#enhypen fic#enhypen fanfiction#enhypen fanfic#enha smut#enhypen smut#enha x reader#sunghoon x reader#sunghoon smut#sunghoon fanfic#sunghoon hard thoughts#heeseung x reader#heeseung smut#heeseung fanfic#heeseung hard thoughts#jake x reader#jaeyun x reader#jake smut#jaeyun smut#jaeyun fanfic#jake fanfic#jay x reader#jay park x reader#jongseong x reader#jongseong smut#jay smut#jongseong hard hours#jay hard hours
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On Sauron and the Subjective Experience of Love
One of the biggest topics Iâve seen in recent Rings of Power discourse is whether Sauron is capable of love. And itâs one hell of a thing to grapple. But Iâll give it a go.
Some have used Tolkienâs letters to argue that because Sauron is not âfully evilâ by Tolkienâs own definition, this indicates he is therefore capable of love. I argue itâs more complex than that, because Sauron is more complex than that. In two of Tolkienâs most relevant passages, âloveâ is not mentioned, but a lot of other things are:
Some reviewers have called the whole thing [The Lord of the Rings] simple-minded, just a plain fight between Good and Evil, with all the good just good, and the bad just bad. Pardonable, perhaps (though at least Boromir has been overlooked) in people in a hurry, and with only a fragment to read, and, of course, without the earlier written but unpublished Elvish histories ... But in any case this is a tale about a war, and if war is allowed (at least as a topic and a setting) it is not much good complaining that all the people on one side are against those on the other. Not that I have made even this issue quite so simple: there are Saruman, and Denethor, and Boromir; and there are treacheries and strife even among the Orcs. â Letter 154
Similarly, good actions by those on the wrong side will not justify their cause. There may be deeds on the wrong side of heroic courage, or some of a higher moral level: deeds of mercy and forbearance. A judge may accord them honour and rejoice to see how some men can rise above the hate and anger of a conflict; even as he may deplore the evil deeds on the right side and be grieved to see how hatred once provoked can drag them down. But this will not alter his judgement as to which side was in the right, nor his assignment of the primary blame for all the evil that followed to the other side. In my story I do not deal in Absolute Evil. I do not think there is such a thing, since that is Zero. I do not think that at any rate any 'rational being' is wholly evil. Satan fell. In my myth Morgoth fell before Creation of the physical world. In my story Sauron represents as near an approach to the wholly evil will as is possible. He had gone the way of all tyrants: beginning well, at least on the level that while desiring to order all things according to his own wisdom he still at first considered the (economic) well-being of other inhabitants of the Earth. But he went further than human tyrants in pride and the lust for domination, being in origin an immortal (angelic) spirit. â Letter 183
What Tolkien gives in these letters is his perspective on is âgoodâ and âevilâ, ârightâ and âwrongâ, and being on one (he argues, indisputably âgoodâ) side or the other (indisputably âbadâ). I would say that the internal experience of love has nothing to do with any of these things.
To argue the point of whether Sauron can love using these letters alone, a false equivalence has to be drawn between an ability to âloveâ and being âmorally goodâ; and, it follows, an inability to love with being âmorally evilâ. To indirectly quote the letters, âgoodâ in Tolkien isnât defined by love between one another, but rather by how people share a set of âgoodâ values. One can do âgoodâ without loving the subject of that good deed. I could be ambivalent to the person living down the road, and might not ever talk to them, but still give them my coat when they are in need, because itâs the right thing to do.Â
The opposite is also true; one can do âevilâ, hold and act upon âevilâ values, and still feel love, as defined by oneâs own experiences. Because love as an emotion (not a dictionary entry) is not one defined feeling or concept, but is subjective; informed by past events, and unique to the person. Taking societal judgement out of the equation, an individual will act in âevilâ ways while loving the person involved, or indeed another person elsewhere. That feeling, and even any associated actions, is âloveâ, for the individual; only when cross-examined by society and its values is it challengeable according to the widely understood definitions of what it means âto loveâ, and any double standards the person might be exhibiting.
So, when considering whether Sauron can or cannot love, it depends on your frame of reference.
Using Tolkienâs societal lens, which is fairly rigid in defining ârightâ and âwrongâ based on how society judges someone's whole, once Sauron has âfallenâ, by the moral standards of the society around him (which as it happens is a mirror for Tolkienâs), no, he does not appear to be able to âloveâ, not in the way many viewers and readers will understand the word. Not in the way that (for example) Melian, another Maia, loves ElwĂ«â wholly, purely, and selflessly. But with a psychological lens, which allows a deeper look at him as a character: Sauron may believe he can love, and that love is a fitting word for what he experiences concerning Galadriel â just as he wants to âorder all things according to his own wisdomâ, he will interpret his feelings according to the terrain of his own experiences. Which are warped and scarred and wounded. His frame of reference is skewed; as much is shown in the confessions he makes to Celebrimbor, and the contradictory ways he treats him. But he is so far gone he is no longer aware of this difference. Because in another society (Morgothâs), his definition of âloveâ, what he has been taught is love, might be the norm.
Putting oneself in Sauronâs shoes, as he invites Celebrimbor, is to imagine being a lesser god tortured at the hands of Morgoth. Potentially deceived, potentially manipulated; potentially groomed by someone more powerful than he; potentially abandoned by his creators, his parent figures. He is a character full of conflicts and self-delusions that (suggested through a combination of dialogue and action) originate in trauma. It follows that his is not a wholesome or simple love that one might be tempted to associate with âgoodâ, because he has not been loved wholly, or simply.
Meanwhile, Galadriel, herself having been through the psychoemotional wars, arguably has found herself connecting with a Janus; a god with two (or indeed more) faces, who has no true sense of self (âI have many namesâ); and is coming to terms with how much of that was her attraction (of any kind) to noble and humbled Halbrand, and how much was to passionate, clever, jaded Sauron; if the two can be separated at all. And with whether she herself has a coltishly reckless saviour complex, or, conversely, needs Halbrand to redeem her, or both.
All of this, for both Sauron and Galadriel, involves intense emotions. And when youâre encountering one another as a reflection on the surface of the water, itâs hard to know which feelings are which.
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Personally speaking if I had to pick one rairpair out of the entire hellaverse to become canon it would be Velvette x Verosica but man it is going to be the most lavish, fluffy, intensely intimate, passionate, rancid & disastrous 24/7 trending full blown shitstorm hell has ever seen I don't think anyone is going to be ready. Not even these two. Dear god especially not these two.
Man Verosica is just 2 for 1 on short gremlin kings who are also coincidentally emotionally constipated walking talking sacks of untreated mental illnesses wrapped up in 3 layers of intimacy issues isn't she but hey at least this one's pretty much guaranteed never to steal your credit card for horse riding lessons and most definitely won't be caught one ring down in wrath in the middle of fuck knows where with said credit card so.... yay improvement?
#and unlike the last one - they don't talk about the last one -#She likes how effortlessly confident Velvette is with everything she works with and how little she has to worry about their relationship#when she's around her#ofc the gradual loss of autonomy and general sense of self is a whole other thing and she definitely doesn't need to think about it ever-#-cause her stunningly hot drop-dead gorgeous filthy rich and famous girlfriend just designed her 10 new fashion lines for her new tour-#-without her even asking-#-and they're gonna live stream the best date she's ever going to have in the fanciest restaurant the pride rings has to offer.#she's never felt this adored & safe & content in satin knows how long she is getting herself trashed every other saturday and STILL#manages to look flawless for every magazine by morning#& Velvette tells her they look so hot together every time they take a selfie as she pulls her waist & face & hair & neck into her side#like she's ready to swallow her whole#they spoil each other with gifts & praises and shit talking ppl behind their back#and absolutely nothing between them ever went wrong#hazbin hotel shitposts#helluva boss#hazbin hotel#hazbin hotel velvette#I remember having a headcannon that Velvette sends every single girl/boyfriend(toy) she has ever had to Valentino after she dumps them.#sometimes she'll even throw in a personal recommendation#Velvette is dead quiet about the breakup this time around#Valentino - for once in his life- knows better to ask#Verosika never came to pentegram city to do live shows since#angst#I suppose#which is probably all my 2 neurons are good for past 9 pm
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Working at the mattress store generally means a lot of long shifts. Ten hour days are not uncommon. You come in, sit alone in a box for a long time, maybe sell a bed, itâs fine. Itâs not usually an issue of safety, though, because whoâs coming in to shakedown a mattress store? We have no cash and nothing really portable.
But there was one night where I was whiling away my time and a guy came in. He was a big guy, muscular and very punk, tattoos, piercings, the works. We got along fabulously and while helping him a middle aged white couple came in. I was pleased to have a livelier night than Iâd anticipated. I bounced back and forth between the disparate parties, eventually finding beds for both.
I finished sooner with the couple but they lingered uneasily by the front of the store instead of leaving and eventually beckoned me over. I trotted along to ask if everything was okay and the woman whispered to me that they were scared to leave me alone with the guy. It was getting late and he appeared quite menacing to them. I wanted to laugh, he was an absolute sweetheart, but instead I assured them that all was well and they could go.
They departed and I immediately told the guy what theyâd said. We both had a hearty laugh over it. He finished his purchase and went on his way.
In the last hour, I had my final customer. A young white man in immaculate clothes, button down shirt with freshly shined shoes. Reader, I wanted to bolt. The man had the discordant energy of a cracked bell. Something was deeply wrong with his vibes despite his polished exterior. I desperately wished the nice couple would come hover in the doorway and stare.
I gritted my teeth and greeted him, projecting a friendly and unconcerned air. It seemed clear pretty quickly that he wasnât actually that interested in getting a bed, which alarmed me even more. I tried to go through the process of fitting him for a mattress but instead he would segue off into telling me about his life while making unblinking eye contact. He asked probing questions about me. I longed for the nice punk man to come back in with a question.
I soldiered onward, visualizing my panic button and refusing to show the slightest hint of unease to him. Eventually he told me that he played piano. He asked if I would like to see a video of him playing piano. I said okay. He then turned his phone over and showed me his screen. In it, he sat staring directly into the camera while playing piano. Above the screen he stared with the same intensely unhinged energy in the video, two sets of serial killer eyes fixed on my tiniest reaction.
I smiled politely, pinned in place by social niceties. After an eon the video finally ended. It was clear he was not going to buy a bed. I insisted that I needed to lock up. He asked if he could stay for that. I firmly informed him he needed to leave for that. With reluctance he drifted out the door as I radiated calm assurance of my own safety and power, locking the door behind him. I turned out the lights and crouched behind the desk in the darkened store, peeking out to watch.
He sat in his car for a long time. But eventually he drove away. I darted out to my car and got home as quick as I could.
The encounter remains one of the most unsettling Iâve ever had in retail. In my decade of serving the public I helped a parade of characters from the harmlessly eccentric to the genuine creeps but this man truly frightened me unlike anyone Iâd ever dealt with.
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Why Didnât You Tell Me?
it has been SO long... i was suffering from serious writers block but it think i'm finally out of it :)
pairing: spencer reid x fem!reader
summary: Spencer Reid used to be your best friend, but things changed. How long can you pretend that you don't love him before it ruins you?
warnings: angst! (with a happy ending), smut (unprotected piv), character loss, mention of Maeve, very sad Spencer, mental health struggles, drinking/bar scene, light choking, fighting, slight praise kink
wc: 8.8k đ€
iâm very proud of this one! i hope you love it!
Every morning when you wake up, you feel a familiar and creeping sort of dread in the pit of your stomach.
Donât get the wrong idea; you love your job. You love helping people and stopping horrible people from ruining any more lives, but the creeping feeling and desire to get out is always in the corner of your mind. Anyone working in this field would tell you that. Thereâs no absolute separation between you and the victims and their families. You take all of them home with you, and you just have to learn how to deal with that and not let it eat at you.
It doesnât help that itâs an isolating job as well. The last time you were in a serious relationship was in college. Now, every date you have ends in disappointment. Not only do you lack interest in most of the men and women, but it couldnât go anywhere even if you did. 75% of your time is spent in the office, on a jet, or hundreds of miles away from your home.
All of this contributes to the feeling, but the worst part of your job is Dr. Spencer Reid.
Heâs secretive and dismissive and just about the most attractive person youâd ever seen. You honestly donât know what is worse: his constant physical presence in your life or the fact that you canât stop thinking about him no matter what you do. Youâve tried to get over it; youâve buried yourself in work, lamented to your friends, and gone out on dates (all with guys that looked vaguely similar), but nothing has worked. All his worst traits grate your nerves and light you up at the same time.
The worst part of it all is that it wasnât always like this. When you first joined the BAU nearly two years ago, you and Spencer got along well. You were friends, he talked to you about his life, he understood you, and you really severely fell for him. He became your best friend.
Everything changed around six months ago. Spencer started to develop migraines, and as those developed, he started distancing himself from you. He became snippy and closed off, he started hiding things from you, and he stopped talking to you about life outside of Quantico. It was like overnight, you became nothing to him, and you really didnât understand. Everyone else on the team got the same old Spencer, but you went from his right-hand man to someone he only spoke to when it was necessary.
Maybe he didnât deserve to be vilified. You know, realistically, he can and should be able to decide who he wants to be close to, but working with a man who unknowingly broke your heart was close to the hardest thing youâd ever done. So, you decided hating him was easier. The real emotions you feel toward him sit somewhere inside you, but they have been covered by manufactured distaste. Addressing the actual feeling would hurt too bad, so you pretend to hate the things you used to love.
Nothing, however, could have prepared you for the last case you worked on: helping Spencer save a girl he met about six months ago, a girl he loved. You tried to stay collected, you said nothing when Spencer assisted when he shouldnât have, and goddamn, did you do everything in your power to find that girl. Maeve. She was perfect for Spencer, and you saw that immediately. Everyone did. The sight of him sobbing in front of her body is one that will never leave your mind.
Now, two weeks later, no one has heard from Reid. The only indication that he hasnât abandoned his life altogether is the absence of the gift baskets on his doorstep that Pen leaves daily.
Nearly everyone has been to his apartment, but they are met with a closed door and have yet to receive a response. Everyone but you.
Penelope is the first to bring up your lack of appearance at the end of a long day of paperwork.
âY/n, please, you just have to try. No one is getting anything from him.â
âI really donât think my presence would do any good,â you pause for a moment, trying to collect the thoughts running through your head like a freight train. âMe and him havenât been close in a long time, Pen.â
Before you can continue, she cuts in, âEveryone has tried, Y/n. Hell, Iâve even considered tracking down Gideon, and I really, really do not want to do that.â
She pauses for a moment before looking up at you with a pout on her face, âPlease, Y/n, for me. I canât bear the thought of him in there all alone, just wasting away in grief.â
For someone who claims not to be a profiler, Penelope knew exactly what to say to get you to agree. Sheâs the only person in your life who you told about how you felt, though youâre sure everyone else (aside from Spencer) knew: youâre shit at keeping secrets.
âOkay, okay, Iâll try.â
She nearly bursts with excitement, âThank God-â
You cut her off before she can finish, âBut Iâm telling you, Iâm not the person he wants to hear from right now. Donât get your hopes up.â
âYes, yes. I just want him to know we all want him to be okay.â
Before you can hurry out of the office to follow Penâs instructions, she stops you and hands you a basket full of assorted snacks and fruits.
âMake sure he eats!â
The walk up to Spencerâs apartment is a hard one to take. The smell of his building hits you as soon as you step into the lobby. From there, everything rushes back at once. Memories of nights you spent watching reruns of Doctor Who or listening to him prattle off about whatever he last read assault you with every step. As you slowly make your way up, you start to question why you agreed to do this in the first place.
You feel a lot toward Reid. More than you should and less than you could. But all that care and feelings that are so close to love arenât enough to make you forget why youâve been trying to hate him for so long. He deserted you without an explanation and cut you off without a warning. You spent weeks (three months) crying over him like a love-struck teen. So, as much as you want to hold him and comfort him, you know itâll hurt you to do so. Penelope sent you, with the whole teamâs approval, youâre sure, to try to patch up a broken heart he got loving someone else. Thereâs a sickness in your gut, but itâs not enough to stop you from rapping your knuckles against his door.
âSpencer? Itâs Y/n.â
Thereâs no response.
âI know you probably donât want to hear from me right now, but I want to make sure youâre alright. Can you tell me youâre alright?â
Again, nothing.
You know heâs there. Despite your lack of communication, you know Spencer well enough to know that he would never leave his life behind entirely. That being said, your next few attempts at garnering a response are unsuccessful.
You decide to try one final time before just leaving the basket alone on his doorstep and texting Pen it was a bust.
âThereâs a lot I donât know about you now, and I wonât pretend to know what youâre feeling.â
You donât exactly know where this is headed, but you continue on regardless.
âI know youâre in there, and I know you can hear me, and I know youâre hurting. You shouldnât- I donât want you to be alone right now, Spence. You can either unlock your door, or I can pick it, but Iâm coming in one way or the other. You know I will.â
You wouldnât, actually. Itâs a last-ditch effort, and itâs met with the same silence youâve heard on the other side for the past ten minutes. Youâre about to turn to head back down the stairs when you hear the very faint sound of a deadbolt turning.
Thereâs no other sound or movement, and for a moment, you think you mightâve imagined the sound, but you try the handle anyway. It turns, and the door slides open. You take a step in.
âSpencer,â you call out to him.
You donât see him at first in the mess of his apartment, but when you do, you feel a crack form in your heart.
Beyond the clutter of his entryway, you see his back on the couch. His frame looks smaller than youâve ever seen it, and you can see his legs curled into his chest. You set down the gift basket by a collection of others on the entry table and walk over to him. Slowly, like youâre trying not to spook a lost dog, you creep in front of him.
His head is down, and his gaze stays trained on his knees.
You reach out your hand and lay it over his. He flinches but doesnât pull away.
âSpence, Iâm so glad you opened the door.â
You didnât plan out what you would say, but âsorryâ feels redundant and useless.
You go on, âIâm here. I- I donât know what to do or say, and Iâm sorry that I donât. I can get someone else for you. Just tell me what you need, and Iâll do it.â
You wait for him to say he wants Penelope or JJ, but it doesnât come. Nothing comes. You start to move to get up, figuring you could clean up a bit and try to make him something to eat, then go, but he grasps your arm before you can.
He looks up at you, and his eyes hit you right in the gut. Theyâre bloodshot and sunken but still beautiful.
âStay. Please. I just- I need to know Iâm not dreaming. I keep thinking Iâm dreaming.â
His voice is croaky from disuse and breaks at the end, but itâs so heartbreakingly earnest that you feel your breath catch. You move from your crouch and sit beside him on the couch; your hand is still in his.
You stay like that for a long time. His breathing is shakey and uneven, and every so often, his body shakes with what you can only assume are sobs. You stay pressed to his side the whole time, thumb rubbing back and forth over his hand.
Eventually, you speak again, âIâm gonna get you some food, Spence. You should eat.â
He says nothing back, but he does loosen his grip. You push yourself up from the coach with a promise youâll be as fast as possible.
His kitchen is nearly empty, and you hope heâs been eating from the baskets. Still, you find enough to make noodles and butter, and you figure the carbs should help his energy some.
You return with the bowl. Spencer hasnât moved, but his head follows you as you walk back over to him.
âItâs not fine dining.â
He studied you for a second, and you catch a glimpse of the old him in his eye.
âYou did the same thing when I was sick on a case a year ago.â
You smile at his recollection.
âIt helped you then.â
The rest of the night is spent mostly in silence. Occasionally, you tell him something to try to remind him that youâre there and that you wonât leave as long as he wants you there. Eventually, you get up from the couch again.
âSpencer, itâs too late to still be awake.â
He nods and still says nothing, but he is far more receptive than before. You reach your hand out to him to help him up from the couch, and he takes it.
He leads you to his room at a slow pace. His head stays down as you both take a seat on his bed, hands still interlocked. Being in his bedroom is odd for you. Youâve been to his apartment quite a few times before he disappeared from your life, but you never breached this space. Itâs all very him. Almost surprisingly cozy, with books scattered around nearly everywhere thereâs space.
You take in the moment for a beat before saying, âIâm gonna head home, Spencer, but please call me if you need anything at all. Iâll come back tomorrow.â
This makes his head snap up, and his eyes lock with yours.
âPlease stay.â
Thatâs all he says, but every part of him is pleading with you. Itâs not a good idea, and you know it. Youâre the only person heâs seen in days, you arenât close anymore, and you donât particularly want to sleep on a couch tonight.
âSpencer, I donât want to sleep in your living room tonight. Iâll come back.â
He pauses for a moment, âYou can stay here with me. I donât want to be alone.â
Your heart cracks again. There was a time when this was all you wanted. Itâs still, deep down, all you want, just not like this. You know he doesnât really want you there and heâs not himself. But you arenât strong enough to say no, so you donât.
He gets you clothes to wear, and you change in his bathroom. You come out and find him in his bed, laying with his back to you. You have no fucking idea what youâre doing, but you get into bed next to him anyways. There are a thousand thoughts racing through your head, but the prevailing one is how badly you want to touch him, to hold him, to make him forget, just for the night. You stay still, though, confined to the edge of the bed and start to count to drown out the noise.
Though, you canât drown out his voice, saying, âCan- Could you hold me? I think that everything feels better when you touch me.â
Another crack. By the end of this, you know Spencer Reid is going to break your heart all over again.
~
When you wake up the next morning, Spencer is still asleep. You sneak out of his room and call Hotch. When he answers, you tell him Spencer has let you in, and you ask for time off to try to help. You can tell from his voice that he doesnât think itâs a good idea, but he grants you it anyway.
Much of your day is spent like the night before. You stay next to Spencer, and you cook for him after leaving to pick up clothes and groceries. Then, you get him to shower and wash his hair. He sleeps with his head in your lap, and you feel like a fucking idiot at first, but as long as itâs helping him in some way, you let it happen.
Thatâs the thing: you donât really know how to help him. You know he isnât the type to talk about something until he is entirely ready, so all you can do is add something domestic and bright to his life while he grieves. Itâs all you can think about in the moments of silence. Hell, you even read to him to try and get your mind off of it, but it barely helps.
The night is the same. You change in different rooms and slip into his bed at different times. You feel dirty for imagining what it would be like if the circumstances were different: if he wanted you like you have wanted him for the past two years. You hold him against you, and you pray for sign that you should be there.
The sign comes the following morning when Derek calls you.
âY/nâŠâ
You can hear his teasing tone over the phone.
âHi, Derek.â
âWhat are you doing, mamas?â
You sigh, âWhat do you mean?â
Youâre playing coy. You know heâs wondering why youâre at Spencerâs house, picking up the pieces, but you wonât be the one to bring it up.
âWhyâd you ask Hotch for the week off, Y/n?â
Another sigh, âYou know why, Derek. I just, I want to help him.â
âI know you do, Y/n, I know.â
He pauses for a moment, and you let the moment fill with silence.
âI know you care about him. We all care about him. But who is taking care of you?â
âI am. I can take care of him, and I can take care of me.â
âI know you can, but I donât want you to get hurt, Y/n. Donât let this be something that hurts you.â
âIt wonât. I- You have to- Fuck, Iâll be fine. Heâs not fine. I donât care about me or any feelings that may get hurt right now. Iâll be fine.â
Thereâs another bear of silence, âOkay, Y/n. Just know youâre allowed to tap out.â
You try to think of anything else to say, but nothing comes, so you say your goodbyes.
You wonât need to tap out. You can take care of him and be good to him and ignore the other feelings you have. You can be good.
The call does make you think itâs time to push, to try harder, to help him get better. So, you approach him that day before bed, before he tucks himself into your arms and falls into a fretful sleep.
âSpencer?â
He takes a moment and then responds, âYes?â
âYou have to talk about it. I think that you need to talk about it. It doesnât have to be to me but to someone.â
Heâs quiet for a long time, and your breath is caught in your throat, waiting for him to say anything.
âI- I donât want to,â his voice cracks while he says it.
âSpence, you canât come back if you donât. You canât move forward if you donât.â
âMaybe I donât want to.â
A ringing echos in your ears.
âYou donât mean that. She- she would want you to keep going.â
Wrong thing to say.
âYou donât know anything about what she would want.â
Heâs seething now, below the surface, but smoke has started to plume from his ears. Still, you donât stop.
âSpencer, everyone knows that. No one would want you to put your life on hold.â
He speaks his next line through his teeth, âYou donât know anything, Y/n.â
Youâve never heard him sound so angry.
âSpencer-â
âNo, just stop. You donât know her. You donât know me half as well as you think you do. You donât know anything. I donât even know why youâre here. I donât want you here. You can't be what I need.â
The ringing in your ears is louder.
âSpencer, please. Just-â
âNo!â His voice is raised now, bordering on a yell, âI donât want you here. I want you out, Y/n.â
This has to be what shell shock feels like. The ringing, the tingle in your limbs, and the heat in your face. You donât know how you are moving, but you are.
His voice is echoing in your head, or maybe heâs still talking, but you canât tell either way. The only thing you can focus on is how Spencer sounded like he hates you and that Morgan was right about the hurt.
~
You spend the next day trying desperately to shut down the noise in your head. It doesnât work. The day after is the same. And the days following that. You ignore calls when they come, you ignore the texts, but you canât stop looking at your phone for a message from the man who fills your thoughts.
Spencer doesnât call, obviously, and you have to sit with a pit in your stomach while you beg yourself to just get the fuck over it. Two years of reckoning with the severity of your love, months of watching him live happily without you, and itâs the three days you spent trying to help him feel incrementally better that floor you.
You feel like a dumb teenage girl with so much love and nothing to do with it. On top of everything, you feel selfish. Spencer lost the love of his life forever, and youâre nursing the worst heartbreak of your life because a boy will never want you and never has. Still, you send out prayers for him over and over. You hope youâll see him in the BAU again, even if his eyes glaze over you. Hell, even if they look at you with hate the way they did two days ago. You just want him to function. You want him to be good and eventually be happy. You try to go to bed with soothing thoughts, but you end up with a mantra of his name.
You wake to your alarm and dress for work before you realize you arenât actually supposed to go back yet. You never set a date to return. You wanted to be open as long as Spencer needed you. Youâre supposed to be with him. Youâre supposed to be helping and not tapping out. But you arenât.
You have no reason not to return to the bullpen, so you do. You walk in and feel eyes on you. You wait for Morgan to call out to you, but he doesnât, so you follow the feeling.
Your breath catches in your throat; itâs Spencer. Heâs sitting at his desk, paperwork spread out, and he doesnât look away from your gaze; he just holds it. His face is unreadable, and yours is definitely not, so you look away first. You donât look up again until you reach Hotchâs office. You knock and hear him call out to come in.
âIâm back if thatâs okay.â
He looks up at you, and you want to cry. You know he can read you. He has always been the best at it.
âAre you okay with that, Y/l/n?â
You lock eyes with him, âYes, sir.â
Itâs no use; he knows your tells and you arenât being honest.
âAlright, conference room in five.â
Whatever he sees in your face, he ignores and takes you at your word, but thereâs a warning in his tone. He knows when to let things go and when to push. More than that, though, he knows youâd never let something like this affect your work.
~
The first case back is in Maryland, and the one after is in Austin, and the next is in Philadelphia with The Replicator. The job takes you all over the country, and the cases blend together. You donât speak to Spencer through all of it. Youâre never partnered, never work together, you sit on opposite ends of the jet. You donât even speak at Straussâ funeral. Itâs radio silent, and everyone notices it, but no one brings it up.
In that time, you allow yourself to slip away slightly. You donât go out with the team, you see Pen at nearly half frequency, and basically, the only time you speak is on cases. Itâs stupid and melodramatic, but you call it healing. Derek tries to reason with you, JJ sticks to you a bit more than usual, and Penelope calls you virtually whenever she can, but their efforts are mostly in vain. This is your way of protecting yourself. You feel like you have to isolate in order to improve, and you know, given time, you will come back to yourself.
Penelopeâs insistence that you go to her Day of the Dead celebration breaks your distance.
âY/n, please come. I know you arenât going out, but you have to. I know you have people to honor, and I need you there.â
You sigh, âWhose going, Pen?â
âThe team, which you are a part of, so you must be there.â
âI donât think I can do that. I promise you I will celebrate with you. Iâll help you set up, just please donât make me go.â
Penelope pauses, but the glint in her eye keys you into the fact that she is not interested in giving up.
âWe miss you, Y/n. Everyone loves you and misses you. Youâve been living this stupid, isolated life, and itâs time for you to come back. You are not this person. I refuse to believe it. Youâre coming, and thatâs final.â
Maybe you donât have the energy to argue, or maybe you know sheâs right, but you agree to go.
~
The thought of seeing him makes your heart race, and the clock you keep glancing at makes it worse. Just a few more hours before you're trapped in a confined space (Penâs beautiful home) with a man you havenât spoken to in weeks.
You busy yourself with preparing. Lights are hung, food is made, and you make a trip to the store while Pen sets up her remembrance table. When everything is said and done, you canât help but feel this is the most beautiful thing youâve been a part of in a long time.
The first knock comes at 7:30 exactly, and itâs Hotch and Rossi. They are followed closely by Blake, then Derek and JJ. By 7:00, the atmosphere is light and loving, and you feel a bit of your anxiety let up as the minutes go by without Reid. But, eventually, the knock comes, of course it does, and you move into a corner as Spencer walks in. You feel a shift in energy, though you doubt itâs palpable for anyone else. Rossi is the first to make his way over to you, and his presence comforts you nearly immediately.
âHow you doing, kid?â His voice is soft like heâs speaking to a scared rabbit.
âIâm better,â you say, and itâs about as honest as you can get. As much as youâd like to think he knows nothing about whatâs gone on, youâre smarter than that. Heâs the best profiler on the team, and heâs always known when someone was off with you. Even so, you are better than you were, even if you arenât quite good, and you know he believes you.
Thereâs some idle conversation between you before he asks, âDo you want to talk about it?â
âNot tonight. I donât know when, but I will. Eventually, I will.â
Itâs good enough for him, and you move on easily, which surprises you.
Right before Pen gathers you all to present your photos, he says, âSometimes we think weâve seen the whole picture, but we miss a big part. People do things because they donât want to be hurt, but those things hurt them more. Just, be open.â
You donât quite understand what he means, but you hope you will.
Penelope presents the first picture, which shows her parents. JJ honors her sister, Derek, his dad, Hotch Haley, and Rossi, Hernandez; then itâs your turn. You place down a photo of your best friend. You hadnât talked much about her, but you think of her daily. She passed a few years before you joined the BAU.
âI was lucky to have someone that hurt that much to lose.â
Thatâs all you say, but itâs enough for you, and it would be enough for her.
Spencer is last. He places down a picture of Tesla and a picture of Maeve. Your heart is heavy for everyone.
The night dwindles from there. Hotch and Rossi say their goodbyes, and Rossi gives you a knowing look as he leaves. You just smile. You stay for a few minutes after, but eventually, you move to leave as well.
You make it down Garciaâs porch before you feel a hand grab your arm. You turn, and itâs Spencerâs face you see.
âWould you- Do you think you could come over? Do you think we could talk?â
~
The feeling you have walking up to Spencer's apartment is similar to what you felt the last time. Youâre incredibly anxious, but at least you know youâll be let in this time.
The drive over was silent. Spencer had taken the metro to Penelopeâs, so he rode with you. It wasnât necessarily awkward. There was just an understanding that the car wasnât the place to begin your conversation.
Now, as Spencer unlocked his door, itâs one of those rare moments you felt starved for words, and you know itâs because youâre scared youâll say the wrong thing and face the same reaction that you did the last time you were in his home.
He leads you to his living room and motions for you to sit, and you do. The two of you are on opposite ends of his couch while you wait for him to say something.
His first words are airy and light, âThank you for letting me talk to you.â
You look at him but remain silent, waiting for him to go on. All you can think about is why he wants to speak to you at all. The last time you spoke, he made it incredibly clear he did not want you in his life or around him at all.
Before you can think about it more and let your anger and sadness build, he speaks again, âI feel really stupid right now. I kind of feel stupid whenever Iâm around you recently.â
He pauses momentarily before going on, âIâm so, so sorry, Y/n. About the last time we spoke. Iâve been thinking about it pretty constantly for the past few weeks.â
You open your mouth, unsure of what exactly to say, but you canât get there before heâs off again.
âIâm not sure how to talk to you anymore. I donât think Iâve known how to for a long time. I just, I need you to know how sorry I am for speaking to you like that.â
He takes a shakey breath but keeps going, âThat wasnât me, and that isnât how I feel. Iâm just unbelievably sorry, Y/n.â
He stops there, and you work to collect your thoughts.
âI know. A part of me knows, at least, that you didnât mean it. I just wanted to be there for you, and hearing that made me- I just- I think it made me hate myself for wanting to be there.â
âIâm so sorry. Iâm unbelievably sorry.â
âYou didnât talk to me for months, Spencer. I just donât understand. I donât understand why you let me in in the first place. I thought you hated me.â
Heâs silent for a long minute.
âI never hated you, Y/n. I just stopped knowing how to act around you, and then I met Maeve. I fell so deep into it that I couldnât talk to anyone about it. I- And I just started to feel like you didnât want me to speak to you, so I didnât. But, when you came here, after everything, I guess I just felt like you were the only person who would get it. You never, no one on the team ever treated me or talked to me how you did. I just wanted that.â
Tears had begun to well in your eyes now. A part of you gets what he means, at least about letting you in, but the other part is so confused as to why he stopped being comfortable around you.
âI donât understand, Spencer. Why did you stop knowing how to be around me?â
Thereâs desperation in your voice that makes you sound like a stranger to yourself. Maybe youâre a stranger to everyone right now.
âI uh, I donât really know.â
âThat's not fair, Spence.â
Youâre crying now. Just a little bit, but you can feel the wetness on your cheeks. You can see that you are by the look on his face. He looks broken, and you know it's a reflection of your own image.
You wipe your face, âThank you for apologizing, Spencer. I just, there are parts of this all that I donât understand, and if you can't explain them to me, I donât think I ever will.â
âY/n-,â he calls out your name like a prayer.
âItâs okay, Spence. You donât have to say anything more. We talked, and things will go back to how they were eventually.â
âIâm so sorry, Y/n.â
You smile sadly as you get up to leave.
âI am, too, for what it's worth. For whatever I did to make things change in the first place.â
You leave it at that, and it takes everything in you not to look back as you leave his apartment.
~
Things do get easier after that. Not completely. You still love him, and it hurts, but it helps to know he doesnât hate you. He talks to you some, cordial things, and you do the same. You're sure your teammates still sense something is off, but this works for you. Right now, it works. Getting over him, not loving him anymore, is going to take work, but eventually, you know that you wonât hurt anymore.
Shortly after you and him talked, you started going back out with your friends. Spencer joined periodically, but that was normal. Bars were never really his scene.
Tonight, everyone gathers at your local pub. Your last case was particularly grueling, and you all need a way to blow off some steam. It's fun, and you feel good, even with Spencer sitting across from you. You feel proud of yourself for getting to this point.
JJ and Penelope feed you drinks to try and get you to dance, and you let them. Tonight feels as good of a night as any to âget back out thereâ as Pen says. So, you do. You dance with them, and you ward off the other cops and agents around you who try to pull you away from your group. You arenât interested in that. Right now, you're just having an appropriate amount of fun for a woman 15 feet from her boss.
Time goes by quickly, and by the time you get back to the table, you, Derek, Penelope, and JJ remain. He tells you that Hotch, Rossi, Reid, and Alex left a few minutes before. The conversation between you flows for a while, up until the drinks loosen Penelope up enough to bring up what you were pretty sure the team designated a no-no topic.
âY/n, you have to talk about it.â
Youâre still laughing as something Derek said when you reply, âWhat?â
âYou know what. You and Boy-Genius. What on Earth happened? You went from ice-cold to semi-friendly. None of us saw it coming.â
âBabygirl-,â Derek tries to stop her, but you cut him off.
âNo, itâs okay. I have to talk about it at some point, and I think right now is the only time Iâll be tipsy enough to let you get it out of me.â
You're still laughing slightly, but the pit that's lived in your stomach for the past few months starts to rear its head.
âAfter your Day of the Dead party, he asked to talk to me. I went to his place, and he apologized. I donât really understand what he said or what he meant, but I canât be sad about him forever.â
Pen perks up a bit at that, âI knew that party would bring good things!â
You giggle a bit at her outburst, but then JJ asks, âWhat did he say?â
The faces around you all tune in at that. You know they donât see this as gossip. They care about you both too much to trivialize it like that.
âHe just said that he stopped knowing how to act around me, and he didnât know why, but then he met Maeve, and I guess it didnât matter so much after that. He was my best friend, and then he was nothing.â
JJ shares a glance with Derek and then speaks, âOh, Y/n.â
âWhat?â
After a beat, Derek says, âHe didnât just not know how to act around you.â
Now you're confused, âWhat do you mean? I talked to him, that's what he said. He didnât know why. I mean, he knows everything and didnât know why he didnât want to be around me anymore. How fucking stupid is that.â
You laugh again, but it does come off as genuine in the slightest.
âY/n, he probably doesnât really know why. At least not fully. For someone as smart as he is, the kid can be really stupid.â
âStop being cryptic.â
Derek sighs but goes on, âPretty girl, pretty boy was in love with you. Probably still is. He just didnât think youâd ever feel the same.â
âNo. That's not true.â
You look at the others around you, but their faces are serious.
âHe loved Maeve. He loves Maeve. That, that doesnât make any sense.â
It's JJâs turn to talk now.
âHe definitely did love Maeve, no one is denying that, but we all saw how he was around you. His whole relationship with her was safe. He couldnât be hurt by her rejection every day because he had no way of seeing her. With you, he could.â
Your mind is moving a mile a minute, âDid he tell you guys this?â
Penelope puts her hand over yours and says, âHe didnât have to, love. We all say the way he looked at you and acted around you. The way he talked about you. That boy was head over heels.â
âGuys, I appreciate whatever youâre trying to do, but this isnât real. Spencer doesnât- this is not real.â
âY/n, pause. Think about the way he acted around you, the things he said. Think about how Reid is.â
You hear what Derek said, but it all sounds faint like someone stuffed your ears with cotton while you weren't paying attention. All you can focus on are the different scenes running through your head, the scenes of your life with Spencer in it. How he memorized your coffee order and brought it for you every day, how he never shied away from your touch despite his aversion to contact, how he consistently went out of his way to protect you on the field. At his house after everything, the way he clung to you and wanted to be held. How he said in his own words, âYou can't be what I needâ; not âyou arenât,â but âyou canât.â
Your whole world is crashing down in this bar, and you canât do anything to stop it.
âY/n?â
JJâs voice snaps you out of your spiral.
âJust go talk to him.â
You nod mutely, and you get up.
~
Everything in the last ten months of your life has led you to the exact spot you were when everything blew up in the first place: Spencerâs door.
This time, you aren't too worried about him not letting you in. If anything, it's the opposite. Him opening this door could open a hundred others, and you donât quite know if you are ready for any of them. You sit there and sit there and sit there, trying to work up the courage to knock, though you arenât sure it's there to begin with. Right as you're about to walk away and decide youâll come back another day, his door swings open.
âY/n?â
His face is lit up with shock, and you notice his hand that is not on the door is holding his pistol.
âWhat are you doing here?â
You donât answer, âWhy did you open the door?â
He sets his piece down on the entry table before responding, âI heard footsteps in the hall and saw they stopped here. I was anxious. 50.3% of home invasions happen between 8:00 pm and 7:00 am.â He cuts himself off there, âY/n, why are you here?â
You didnât pay attention to anything he said. All you could think about was the way his lips were moving and the way his eyes locked onto yours as he talked.
âDo you love me?â
That is not what you wanted to say.
His lips fall open as he takes in a sharp breath, âWhat?â
âOr I guess did you love me? Before everything? Because Derek and JJ and Pen, they all said that you loved me, and now I canât think about anything else, Spencer.â
He doesnât speak, but you don't really give him a chance to.
âI just, I know I sound crazy right now, but I feel fucking crazy. I keep going over everything in my head, and I have been, for the past year I have been, but now itâs all different. It's all different because they said that you loved me, but you didnât think Iâd feel the same way.â
Here, you do pause, but he still doesnât say anything, so you go on before you can stop yourself.
âBecause if that's true, Spencer, it's just- I did. I do. And if it's not, then please just tell me so I can stop feeling this way.â
He sounds resigned when he says, âY/n,â and you feel like you know what that means.
âFuck, Iâm sorry. I donât know why I'm doing this. You donât have to say anything. Actually, please donât say anything. I don't think I can hear it. Just pretend I never-â
He cuts off your ramble, âY/n, stop.â
You draw your eyes from the floor, look up at him, and find something in his gaze you have never seen before. He doesnât say anything, just stares at you, and it takes everything you have not to look away. His hand raises to cup your jaw, and your skin lights on fire. Before you can process what heâs doing, you feel his lips press against yours, and something clicks. At first, his touch is light, like heâs giving you the chance to pull away. But, when he grasps that you wonât, he presses himself to you harder, and all you can think about is how nothing has ever felt so right.
His lips move against yours, and you donât know how you're managing to reciprocate because it feels like everything in your body has gone fuzzy. The kiss is by no means long, but it feels like it lasts forever, and by the time he pulls away, youâre breathless.
His forehead stays connected to yours, and he whispers, âI do, Y/n, love you. I have.â
You donât feel the tears on your cheeks until heâs wiping them away.
âOh, Y/n.â
âDid you know? That you did? Is that whyâŠâ
You trail off, hoping heâll pick up on what you're asking, and he does.
âI didnât at first, or I didnât realize I was falling in love with you until it happened. I got scared, so I ran. I just never thought that you could feel the same or that I was hurting you. I didnât realize that. I just thought I was doing what was best for us. I felt guilty for being in love with my best friend.â
âAnd Maeve?â
âI loved Maeve. Iâll always have love for her. I was trying to move on, and I thought I could eventually be with her and be around you without it hurting. I wish I would have told you this before.â
âYouâre telling me now. That's enough.â
This time, it's you who pushes your lips to meet his. Your arms snake around his neck, and his fall to your waist. You follow when he pulls you into his apartment and closes the door. There is still pain on both sides, but you can feel it dissipating as you cling to each other. Youâre just two broken people who have finally found a way to each other.
This kiss is different, hungrier. Neither of you pulls away for longer than a few seconds as you navigate your way from his entryway to his couch. Every touch is desperate like you're searching for something you never knew existed until now. His hands pull you closer and closer until he's pulling you on top of him, and each of your legs rests on opposite sides of his hips.
Your lips break from his for a moment, âWhat do you want, Spence?â
His reply is instant, âYou.â
From there, things move faster. Your hands unbutton his shirt and push it from his shoulders while he undoes your pants. There are moments of awkwardness that come with exploring another for the first time, but it feels good. His hands trace over your hips and push further until you're left on top of him in only your underwear and bra. He takes you in like you are something to be marveled at, and you know your eyes reflect the same adoration.
You raise yourself off of him and work to get him in the same state of undress as you, and when you position yourself on top of him, you feel his length press against your center. The two thin layers of fabric do little to hinder the intensity as you rock into him. He lets out quiet moans at the action as his lips trace down your neck and over your collarbone.
His breath ghosts over you and makes you shiver when he asks, âCan I touch you?â
âPlease.â
His hand moves between the two of you, and his fingers find your clit easily, rubbing circles over the fabric of your panties. You pant his name against his lips at the action. You feel like your whole body is lit up, and under any other circumstance, you'd feel embarrassed at how worked up you are, but you canât seem to care.
After a few moments, he lifts you up and carries you to his bedroom. From there, he positions you below him on the bed, removing your remaining clothes in the same motion. The new setup lets you grip him, and he feels big in your hand. His fingers resume their previous assault before dipping down into you. You cry out at the feeling of him inside you, slowly pushing in and out, finding a spot that makes your legs start to shake. Heâs relentless in his pursuit and all you can muster up the energy to say is his name.
âYouâre so beautiful, Y/n.â
It's somewhere between a whimper and a whisper, but the sound of his voice causes you to clench around his fingers.
He picks up on this, of course he does, and quickens his pace as he coos at you.
âSo pretty like this. Iâm so lucky.â
Youâre embarrassingly close already, so when he moves his thumb over your clit to rub circles as he fucks into you with his fingers, you come undone almost instantly with a warning and cry of his name. He works you through your orgasm, all while whispering praise in your ear. Once you come down from your high, you start to push his boxers down his legs, but he stops you before you can fully.
âWe donât have to do anything more, Y/n. I liked just making you feel good.â
âI want more. I want to feel you if you want that too.â
âOf course I do. I just donât want you to regret anything.â
âI couldnât regret this, Spencer. I love you. I want all of you.â
It's the first time youâve actually said those three words to him, and it feels so fucking good to say.
âI love you, too. God, so much.â
With that, he positions himself back on top of you, running his fingers over your slit gently before gripping himself.
âDo you have a condom?â
âI might somewhere, but I have an IUD, and Iâm clean. I can try to find one if youâre more comfortable with that?â
âIUDs have a failure rate of around .05% and are largely considered the most effective form of birth control, so uh, as long as you're okay with it, I am.â
You smile to yourself at his statistic but nod, âI want to feel you, Spencer.â
He returns your smile before rubbing his length over your entrance a few times and slowly pushing himself into you just slightly. He teases you, or maybe himself, for a moment before fully entering you. You push your hips up to meet his, and feeling him in his entirety makes your jaw fall open. Heâs big, and you feel unbelievably full.
He waits a moment for you to adjust before he starts to develop a rhythm. His hands are everywhere, but his eyes are focused solely on your face like he doesnât want to miss a moment of your reaction to him inside of you. To be fair, you are probably putting on a good show. Every movement he makes hits you in exactly the right spot, and you donât think you could be louder if you tried. You can feel the leg heâs not holding up against his shoulder shake against the bed. Your first orgasm has made way for your second to be incredibly close.
âSpencer, please.â
Youâre crying out, desperate for a little more to push you over the edge.
âWhat do you need, baby?â His voice is tight like heâs not far himself, and it sounds better than anything youâve ever heard.
âHarder. Please, harder.â
He takes your direction immediately, rubbing circles on your clit with one hand while he thrusts into you with a bruising force. Heâs fucking you like he wants you to remember the feeling long after he stops, and you know that you will. Everything about it is overwhelming: his smell, his pace, his eyes. You are covered in him, and he is covered in you.
After a moment, the hand he had on your stomach trails up to grasp lightly at your throat, and you fall into feeling. You canât warn him that you're about to come before you do. The feeling is white hot. Bigger than your first, and the fact that you're coming on him sends you into overdrive. You can feel his hips falter for a moment, but you're lost in a daze, crying out his name.
He pumps into you a few more times before he follows suit. He pulls out, and you feel stripes of his come paint your cunt and lower stomach as he finishes with a moan of your name.
He falls next to you on the bed, and it takes you both a few moments to collect yourselves and catch your breath.
Once you do, the only thing you can think to say is, âI love you.â
It feels like those are the only words circling around in your head at the moment. Some mixture of his name and that declaration. While you know you each said it before, that your profession was the exigence of the sex you just had, it feels uniquely vulnerable to say now. Itâs like the moment you just had together could have changed things or made him realize that he doesnât actually love you after all.
That shoe doesnât drop, though. Instead, you hear the three words echoed back to you by a man who, 6 hours ago, you thought would never, ever say them.
You turn to face him, and the love on his face feels like it could knock you out. Heâs looking at you and smiling in a way you haven't seen in a long time.
âWill you let me clean you up?â
You know that part of the reason heâs asking has something to do with the likelihood of bacteria growth or something like that, but you think it's mainly that he wants to take care of you. Him wetting a rag and running it over you feels intimate in a different way, in an excruciatingly gentle way. Personal in a way that makes you feel like nothing between you could ever be wrong again, and maybe that's naive to think, but you feel hopeful regardless.
Once he finishes, he takes his space back next to you in the bed. This time, he pulls you into his arms, and it's different than it was all those months ago. This time, you know that he wonât push you away and that you won't hurt yourself by being next to him. This time, you just tuck yourself into him, and you let him whisper sweet nothings into your ear as you begin to drift off. This time, it feels like peace.
~
The following day, you wake up to Spencer still next to you, looking incredibly soft in the early morning light. You search for a moment to find your phone in the piles of clothes and are greeted with a text from Pen.
How did it go????
You smile before turning your phone off and climbing back into bed next to the man you love. It couldnât have gone better.
-
all done! yay!!!
i hope you guys love it!! iâm not 100% happy with the ending but iâve been writing this for so long and just needed to be done.
this is my first time writing angst on here and my longest fic, so PLEASE tell me what you think! all (nice) feedback is welcome and i love to hear from you guys!! :)
#spencer reid#spencer reid fanfic#spencer reid fanfiction#spencer reid x reader#criminal minds#criminal minds smut#fic rec#spencer reid smut#spencer reid x y/n#spencer reid angst#spencer reid x you#criminal minds fanfiction#fanfiction#friends to lovers#friends to enemies to lovers#spencer reid fluff#spencer reid fic rec
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Thinking about Isagi Yoichi, the hero of Japan and biggest egoist on the field, being a complete loser when it comes to the girl he likes.
Like, he may insult the opposing team's players (and even his own teammates sometimes!) in the field, but gets all red and stutters when he needs to talk to you.
Isagi Yoichi who is absolutely delusional. If he holds a conversation with you for more than 5 minutes, you can bet he's gonna think about it during THE WHOLE WEEK. His friends can't escape his feelings either: he's always talking about you or associating things with you. Like: "Oh, she would like this!" Or "You guys won't believe it: we talked for almost 10 minutes today!" Please save Hiori and Bachira. They can't take it anymore. (Well, Bachira doesn't really care, but Hiori is really almost losing his shit.)
This absolute dork would listen to love songs while thinking about you and then get all blushy after, hugging a pillow while stuffing his red face on it and everything. And heaven forbids anyone enters his room after you compliment him! He's kicking his feet, screaming, crying and laughing all at the same time. SPECIALLY if it's a compliment regarding his football abilities. Say something along the lines of "That goal today was amazing, Yoichi! It was such a smart play!" and he's melting and thinking about it through the whole month.
Speaking of football, he'd LOVE to see you in his soccer games/practices cheering loudly for him. I mean, he's already absolutely smitten for you, but seeing you there screaming because of his goal or smiling because of a play he made just makes his obsession love for you grow 10 times bigger!!
He'd even ask his mom for advice on what to say to you! She thinks it's cute her little boy is growing up (even though he's already 17), so she tries to help him the best she can. But there's just so much mama can do. He tries to follow her teachings, but, as I said before, always stutters and trips over his words, which makes him feel really stupid and almost give up on love, since it's a "very hard and painful feeling that just hurts people" (his words).
When he finally musters up the courage to ask you out on a date (after a lot of insistence from Hiori, who is just really tired from all of this), he wants it all to go perfect. He has it all pictured in his head: he'll ask you to meet him in the back of the school after extracurricular activities so he can ask you out. He'll have flowers and everything, and then he'll say that speech he spent the last 14 days memorizing. You'll say yes with a smile in you face (he's already blushing just from imagining your smile, he really is down bad) and then you'll live your happilly ever after together.
Spoiler alert: nothing went as planned. First, the letter he wrote asking you to meet him in the back of the school got wet because he accidentally spilt water on it. So, he had to make a half-assed substitute letter to put in your desk.
Second, he forgot soccer leaves people all stinky. So, at the end of practice, he had to choose between taking a shower and showing up all drenched and late and showing up sweaty and smelly. He choose the former, after all, showing up late but presentable is better than showing up early but looking like you got shit on by a racoon.
Third, when he finally got there (you were almost leaving, thank God he caught you just in time!) and apologized for being late, he gave you the flowers. He thought nothing else could go wrong, but things can always get worse than they already are. But I don't blame him for not knowing that things could, in fact, get worse: how was he supposed to guess there were literally bees in the flowers? To get rid of them, he tried to shook the bouquet, but accidentally ended up throwing it at your face. With bees and all.
You screamed. He screamed. He grabbed the bouquet and shoved it away, looking at the ground and wishing it'd just swallow him whole. He messed up his chance, you'd never ever even look at his way again. You hated him, absolutely hated him. You wish he was dead, you were going to change schools just to never see him again, he's the worse person ever-
Huh? What is that sound? You're laughing...? You're seriously laughing?
You laughed. He got confused.
He looked up. You were throwing your head back while wiping away the tears that got out of your eyes. You were clutching your stomach because you were laughing so hard it was starting to hurt.
You laughed. He laughed.
You both looked like maniacs. Lunatics. Laughing alone in the middle of nowhere. You looked crazy he WAS crazy. Crazy for you. Not that you knew it at that time
He then decided to just shoot his shot and finally asked you out, without flowers or memorized speech. He didn't even think you'd accept, he just thought it wouldn't hurt to try.
Imagine his face when you said yes. Even with the shitty proposal and embarassing moments, you said yes. And he was absolutely delighted. You gave him your number so he could text you the details about the date, and he was seriously shaking. I'm being for real, his pupils were blown wide and he was almost crying from happiness.
He went home jumping and skipping from happiness. Now, he wasn't just a loser. He was a loser with a date, so that makes him less loserly (at least that's what he thinks).
You accepting his proposal didn't make him talk less about you. Actually, he was now talking about you more than before, if it's even possible. Hiori felt like killing himself (he was happy for his friend, of course, he just didn't want to admit it).
This fic has a "sequel", it's this one
Masterlist
#loser Isagi holds a special place in my heart#bllk#bllk manga#bllk x reader#blue lock#bllk x you#blue lock x reader#blue lock x you#bllk isagi#isagi yoichi#isagi x you#isagi x reader#blue lock isagi#blue lock fluff#bllk fluff#fluff#isagi fluff
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hi lovie !
I ADORE your writing and get so excited everytime you post đ
I wanted to ask if youâre okay with writing a poly!marauders x reader fic where r is an overthinker and over analyzes small things. It brings r to think the boys are mad at reader so r begins to close offâ happy ending w/ healthy communication, just them reassuring r
đ€you can absolutely ignore this!!
thank you baby! I'm so glad to have you here with me đ thanks for your request đ«¶
poly!marauders x fem!reader
CW: insecurities, overthinking, belief of conflict, eventual healthy communication skills, men behaving rationally (that's how you know it's fiction) jkjkjkjkjk đ
You knew you were overthinking; you could actually hear yourself spiraling as you chewed aggressively on your cuticles. You ran through every single interaction you and the boys had throughout the past few days and couldnât help but come to the same conclusion every time.
They were mad at you.
And even saying it aloud made you feel silly because, really, what could you have possibly done that would have managed to upset all three of them without knowing about it?
There had been a few disagreements between the four of you since the beginning of the relationship; more specifically since you had joined the relationship.Â
The boys, it seemed, went through most of their more volatile fights prior to you meeting them.Â
But that didnât mean there werenât arguments. There were always differences of opinions, some hurt feelings, and learning everyoneâs sensitivities and love languages etc. didnât happen overnight; it took time.
One thing you were particularly thankful for was that you had yet to ever feel like the boys were âganging upâ on you. Your argument always stayed between you and the participant of the conversation and everyone else opted to stay out of it unless they felt they could provide some helpful insight.Â
But for all of them to be mad at you without some big blow up happening? You couldn't imagine what would have caused it.
It wouldnât have been anything you said or done to Sirius, as he was a very head strong person who preferred to face things upfront and head on. If you had done something wrong to Sirius, you would have heard about it.Â
James was a wild card since he usually wore his feelings on his sleeve, but he also had a tendency to paint a smile on his face and smile through the pain in order to keep the peace.Â
Remus was often stoic and the voice of reason, but you also knew he could be incredibly sensitive.
Oh god... had you done something to upset Remus? You must have...itâs the only rational explanation. Heâd likely be telling Sirius not to say anything to you, and since Sirius struggled in biting his tongue, it would make sense that he opt for the âif you have nothing nice to say, donât say anything at allâ route.
And though James did tend to smile through the pain in order to keep the peace, he was also fiercely protective of his people â particularly when those people donât seem inclined to stand up for themselves.
Oh god. Is this why they asked you to come over tonight? They wanted to talk to you...no, they wanted to break up with you.Â
By the time James opened the door, you had forgotten you even knocked. He was all bright smiles until he took in your form â he was disappointed to see you.Â
âHello, honey. Come on in.â He said, though his words were stilted, sounding oddly scripted and rehearsed.Â
âHey sweets!â Sirius called from somewhere in their flat, âhave you eaten yet?â
âYeah.â You called back, having to clear your throat when your voice came out gravelly. You could feel Jamesâ eyes burning a hole into the side of your face.
âMoonyâs running late from work, but heâll be home soon.â James announced as he ushered you into the living room.
You scanned your surroundings, cataloguing everything like it might be your last time in here.
You found signs of Remusâ love of trinkets and the oddities everywhere you looked, as well as signs of James and Sirius feeding into that by bringing him home things theyâve found as well. Thereâs a small pewter fox you bought on your trip to the coast sitting on one of the shelves of his bookcase.
Picture frames lined the walls; evidence of Siriusâ love for photography, his camera, and his favourite people.
And the god-awful pillow James found at an estate sale and insisted it have a place on the couch. It was ugly, it was lumpy, it didnât match with anything else in the space, but it was Jamesâ and he loved it.
Sirius came bounding into the room and rubbed at Jamesâ shoulder affectionately, pecking a quick kiss to the crown of your head in hello before breezing by to head to the kitchen.
âHe just got a home a few moments ago, heâs gonna heat up some leftovers for him and for Remus when he gets home.â James explained.
âDo you want any, doll?â Sirius called.
âNo, Iâm okay. Thank you!â You tried your best to sound upbeat while a horrid feeling settled in your stomach.
James seemed to feel just as awkward as you did; keeping his eyes dutifully on you whilst trying to appear that he wasnât. His leg bounced anxiously underneath him as he leaned onto the arm of the grandfather chair he sat in â across the room from you.
It may as well have been an ocean worth of distance with the way it left you feeling.
Sirius returned to the living room a few moments later and made himself comfortable on the other end of the couch from you, kicking his feet up onto the coffee table after placing a glass of water directly on the coffee table. You wanted to chide him, knowing Remus would have him by the bollocks if he saw, but you didnât know if it was your place anymore.
Sirius asked you how your day at work was and you offered him a vague âoh it was alright. Long. How about yours?â which started him on a long tangent about some of his more colourful customers today and how tiresome he found people in general. He and James shared some quips and anecdotes about worst moments in their various retail experiences, and you thought about how much you were going to miss this.
âOkay, what is going on?â Sirius snapped abruptly, causing your head to shoot up so quickly that you heard it crack.
âHuh?â You asked sheepishly.
Siriusâ brows furrowed as he stole a glance at James before turning back to you. âYouâre being weird...whatâs going on with you?â
But you didnât get a chance to answer when the sound of the front door alerted everyone to Remusâ arrival. You hated that you visibly tensed at the sound of him moving down the hall.
âHey bubs. Is she here?â You heard him ask James, since you and Sirius couldnât yet see him nor he you from his position in the hall way.
You felt your face scrunch up miserably and quickly brought your hands up to shield your face, choking out a silent sob.
âYeah.â James responded, though his voice was but a whisper as Sirius added a âwhoaâ at the same time.Â
âWhat did you guys do?â Remus cooed and made his way towards you having spotted your distress.
âIâm sorry.â You muttered miserably, both for whatever youâd done to cause this conflict between the four of you and also for your embarrassing display of emotions.
âWhat are you sorry for, dovey?â Remus asked softly as he knelt in front of you, gently taking your wrists and coaxing them away from your face.Â
âFor upsetting you all.â
Remusâ brows furrowed beyond their worried state and into a more confused state as he turned to look at the other two boys in bemusement.Â
âWell, I donât think any of us are happy that youâre so upset, love, but weâre not upset. You donât have to apologize.â He pressed.
âI donât think thatâs what this is.â James input from his place across the room.
âIâm sorry. Iâm not quite sure why youâre mad at me, but Iâd like to talk about it with you and I promise not to do it again.â You cried, sounding disturbingly and embarrassingly close to begging.
âMad at you? Is that why youâve been such a weirdo tonight? You thought we were mad at you?â Sirius asked incredulously.
âDonât call her a weirdo, Pads!â James chided, standing from his chair.Â
âWhyâd you think everyone was mad at you, dove?â Remus asked, ignoring the squawking of his boyfriends behind him as he forced you to hold eye contact with him.
âI... I donât know, I guess things just felt kind of off this week and then...I donât know.â You admitted dumbly. âAnd then I got here and, it just felt weird.â
âIâm sorry, angel.â James apologized, suddenly beside you having taken to sitting directly on top of (a very petulant) Sirius. âYou seemed distressed and... I got nervous. Usually, Rem is the better one at handling these things, I wanted to wait until he got here to broach the subject. Sirius, though, has the tact of a bull.â
âSo, you were just going to let all of us sit here awkwardly until Remus got here to save the day, huh? Not on my fucking watch.â Sirius groaned as he positioned himself to kick James not only off of him, but off the couch completely. This caused Siriusâ glass of water to topple off the coffee table and onto the rug below it.
âNice going, Prongs,â Sirius spat victoriously from his place on the couch, âlook at the mess youâve made.â
âIt wasnât even my cup!â James defended.
âDonât think I didnât notice that wasnât on a fuckin' coaster, Sirius.â Remus reproached darkly, tossing the dark-haired boy a glare over his shoulder.
Sirius just smirked and then winked at you. âThere you go, dollface, now everyoneâs mad at me instead.â
âAwe, Pads!â James cooed from the ground before launching himself back onto Sirius. âLook at you, taking the heat off our pretty girl.â
Remus shook his head in exhaustion, but you could see a fond smile ghosting his lips from his place before you.
âTrust me, dove. Youâre the least of our problems.â
You chuckled wetly and wiped the tears (and more embarrassingly, the snot) from your face. âIâm sorry. I feel rather silly now.â
Sirius, having given up on his instance to be the little spoon between he and James, looked around Jamesâ broad frame in his lap to face you. âHow about this; if weâre ever upset with you, we promise to tell you. If we havenât said anything; itâs safe to assume weâre not mad. Okay?â
You nodded in agreement.
âAnd...â James continued. âNext time you find yourself feeling like this, maybe you can tell us, too?â
You nodded emphatically. âYes, I promise. Iâm sorry.â
Remus kissed the backs of both of your hands and stood from his knelt position in front of you.
âNo more sorryâs, dove. Weâre all good.â
James stood from Siriusâ lap to place a warm kiss to the space between your cheek and ear and whispered another apology for your being upset.
âHey, Moons?â Sirius called.
âYeah?â
âAre you heading to the kitchen?â He called with the sort of smirk that caused you and James to exchange a suspicious look.
âYeah.â
âCan you grab me a glass of water, please?â
âFuckinâ hell Sirius get off your arse. And use a sodding coaster.â Remus bellowed from the bedroom.
âSee? Youâre the least of our problems.â James repeated, stamping another kiss to your cheek.Â
#ask elle#marauders era#marauders au#marauders fanfiction#reader insert#self insert#sirius black#remus lupin#james potter#poly!marauders#poly!marauders fluff#poly!marauders x reader#poly!marauders x you#poly!marauders imagine#poly!marauders drabble#sirius black x reader#sirius black x you#james potter x reader#james potter x you#remus lupin x reader#remus lupin x you#hurt/comfort#miscommunication#fluff#ellecdc fics
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How many chances are too many chances? Y.JH
This is part 2 to âHow many times does it take to get smarter?â Get ready for a rollercoaster of emotions and IâM SORRY àž
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Summary:Â
Itâs been 6 months since the night you and Jeonghan went your separate ways. Youâre sure he has moved on and you⊠are working on moving on. Nothing can go wrong, right?
Wordcount: 14k (SORRY)
Warnings: pussy slapping, some spanking, slut is used a lot, oral f. receiving (face-sitting), vaginal penetration - unprotected sex, Jeonghan is hot and bossy - dom af, cream-pie, slight dumbificationÂ
Requested: yes, by popular demandÂ
P.S - Italic is for thoughts mainly from the charactersâ perspective and quotes. Bold is for text messages/calls/voice messages between characters
Itâs been 6 months since you had seen each other. Since you told him everything you had been holding back for years and he walked away from you. He walked away from your friendship as if everything you two had shared over the years had been meaningless. As if you were replaceable.
You were doing okay. In the first few weeks you had cried yourself to sleep. You even destroyed all the pictures you had with him like a teenager in a movie. But eventually, it started getting easier. Waking up and not getting a single text from him or call during the day got easier. You started getting used to the silence.
You had also put the pictures you ripped apart back together. Very clumsily but you tried. You loved some of those pictures and they contained some of your very favorite memories with him and all the boys. You couldnât get rid of it. You couldnât also look at them so after you fixed them, you decided they would now live in a permanent corner in your closet in a box and hopefully, one day, youâll be able to look at them again and smile.
In these 6 months, things have been going well with everything else in your life. You got a promotion. You and your family had been closer than ever and you had great friends who had helped you put everything behind you. Well⊠most of your friends.
Some of them, like the one calling you right now, wanted nothing more but for the both of you âto stop being fucking idiots and be togetherâ. Itâs been a struggle balancing seeing the boys and not seeing Jeonghan. You had mostly skipped all of your usual gatherings because you knew he would be there. You knew you would be the one losing the boys. They had been friends for far longer than you had been in their lives, so when a falling out like this happens, of course, you would be the one that would walk away.
This however, has made all the boys very annoyed. They have all called you at some point to tell you they were angry at you and wanted you back with them. âIt isnât fairâ they kept telling you.
You agree. Nothing about this is fair. Itâs sad. For everyone. Everyone lost something, somehow and you blame yourself for it.
You should answer the phone though, otherwise, the boy known as your twin would cause absolute mayhem in all of your lives. He has already threatened you about it enough times for you to know he would do it without hesitation.
âHello, Kwannie. Calling in the middle of the day is not very on brand for you. You good?â you asked.
âIâm amazing. I am calling you in the middle of the day because you have decided to ignore Soonyoung and he is now pouting and making my life hell. I have many questions. Number one: How dare you?â Seungkwan is the first one they use when they want something from you. Fair enough. Not even you want to deal with the anger of your friend.
âKwannie⊠Now, now⊠Thatâs no way to speak to me even if you are using Office quotes which I very much appreciateâ you said with a teasing tone.
âHaha very funny, Y/N. You have been hilarious in the past 6 months, you know that? Amazing. And as much as I would LOVE for you to continue being this way, I am the one that has to deal with the consequences of you ghosting all of usâ he stated in an incredibly monotonous tone. You know whatâs coming next and itâs mostly why you have avoided them all.
âSeungkwan, I havenât ghosted any of you. Iâm busy, you know that⊠Thatâs allâŠâ you said in your best apologetic tone.
He laughed dryly and added: âYou canât be serious. I know youâre busy, promotion and all. But you also know after everything that happened, communication between us and you has been extremely difficult. You barely show up to any of our usual outings, you donât speak in the group chat. Look⊠I get it, I do. But we shouldnât all be punished because one of us is a complete idiot, and I know you know that tooâ.
You knew he was right, they didnât deserve any of it. It wasnât their fault. But how can you just show up to things with Jeonghan there? How can you join in the group chat with everyone while you know you have his number blocked and deleted everything related to him on your phone?Â
You had done a pretty good job moving on in every other part of your life. But not here, not with the boys. You didnât know how. You hadnât found that balance yet and you werenât sure you were ready to see him yet. Or at all.
âYour silence is deafening, Y/Nâ Seungkwan spoke on the other side of the line.
âIâm sorry⊠You know I am but⊠Iâm not ready, Seungkwan. And to be honest, Iâm not sure I ever will beâ you said sadly.
âHey⊠Weâre your friends too, you know? Donât push us away, please. Not anymore. Thatâs all weâre asking. Well⊠Soonyoung is also asking for you to come to his party this Saturday. The guysâ performance team was picked to go to the international competition and he wants you there to celebrate. We all doâ.
Seungkwan always knew what to say to get you to cave. It was why everyone called you twins, you always knew what to say to get the other one to do whatever you wanted, no matter what.Â
âThey made it? Thatâs fucking amazing. Tell them--â
âTell them yourself, Y/N. Saturday. Soonyoungâs place. 8:30. Not gonna lie to you. Heâll be there. But you donât have to interact with him. It will be a big party and I wonât leave your side. Promise.â he interrupted you but you get it.
Youâre not sure if you should go. This doesnât sound like a good idea at all. But you miss them. All of them. Hanging out like before, playing beer pong, letting Seungkwan destroy everyone at KaraokeâŠ
âAnd this has nothing to do with your personal interest in beating Shua and Vernon at beer pong, Boo Seungkwan?â you asked to lighten the mood a bit.
âWell⊠If your falling out with Jeonghan gives me the opportunity to pair up with you after all these years, finally, and destroy them⊠I call that an added bonus!â he said jokingly.
âIs there a theme? Hoshi always has a themeâŠâ you asked.
âCollege. Yes, I know⊠Donât ask. He said college and everyone went with itâ he said with a distaste but you know he loves Hoshi more than he would like to admit. Even if he swore to keep calling him Soonyoung out of spite.
âAnd, if I go, which by the way, I am not saying that I will⊠You wonât leave my side? The whole night?â you asked and he reassured you right away.
âOf course. I promise. He wonât have a chance to talk to you, Iâll keep him away. I would also volunteer to take your phone but we both know you have him blocked so thatâs not going to be necessaryâ.Â
Weird. You havenât told anyone you blocked Jeonghan. I mean, itâs an easy assumption to make but he seemed confident when he said it. You wondered how he knew.
After you promised you would think about it and heard Hoshi cheering in the background, you talked a bit more about your lives and what has been going on and you hung up after a while of catching up.
You spent the rest of your Sunday thinking about this. You know Seungkwan will keep his promise and you know this isnât a trap but⊠youâre not ready to see him.
You donât know if youâll be strong enough not to speak to him. Sure, you havenât spoken to him in the last 6 months but you have thought about unblocking him multiple times. Maybe going to this party is not the best idea.
Friday night comes at you fast. You were so busy the whole week that the week flew by and you are now panicking about tomorrow. You hadnât thought about this party most of the week, you hadnât had time and here you were. In front of your closet, trying to pick clothes that say âcollegeâ apparently and wondering if you should even go at all.
You know if you called any one of them right now and told them you werenât going, they would collectively be mad at you and even plot to get you there somehow.
Itâs too late to back out. Youâre going tomorrow. And⊠youâll be fine. Seungkwan will be with you and you will hang out with the boys and you will ignore him.Â
You started laughing out loud. Ignore him? Please, you want to think you are so important in his life but if you were, he wouldnât have left you the way he did. He probably doesnât care that youâre going. Why would he even want to speak with you? Leaving was his choice.Â
After 30 minutes of hurting yourself and staring at your closet, you start getting several messages from all the boys. You knew it. They werenât going to let you out of this one and they had decided to collectively torture you. Using Shua and Vernonâs emotional blackmail was a bit much but you knew they were throwing everything at you to make sure you were going.
You pulled out your regular college outfit and set it in your chair next to your bed, made yourself some warm tea and went to the couch to binge a show. âHopefully the tea and the show will make me fall asleepâ you thought.
You were wrong. You barely slept. You kept moving around in bed, trying to fall asleep. Heart beating out of your chest. You donât know how youâll survive this.
You decided to keep busy the whole day. It had worked during the week so you went to visit your sister and see your nephew. He would keep you occupied. He had brought a light into your life you didnât know could be there and you know he will always keep you entertained and you will do the same for him.
This had all gone well until your sister tells you they have a birthday party to attend at 4:30 so youâd have to leave pretty soon.
Great. Of course.Â
As soon as you got home, you got a FaceTime call from Lily.Â
Lily was your best friend since middle school. You had been through everything together and you were as close as sisters. You had introduced her to the boys shortly after you had met them and she fit right in. Not only that but she fell in love. She and Seungcheol have been together since they met. âLove at first sightâ they both said. You had always been jealous of that. It had always been so easy for them. Meeting, falling in love, growing together. You were also unbelievably happy for them, especially Lily. She deserved the world.
âLet me guess⊠Outfit check?â you asked after answering the call.
âDuh! Let me see what you chose! We could match tonight. Itâs been such a long time since we wore matching outfits, Y/N! Since college actually, which is the theme. Do you see how perfect this is???â she asked excitedly.
âThereâs a reason why we havenât done that since college, Lilâ you laughed.Â
âOh come on! It would be hilarious!â she tried to convince you.
âSeungcheol left you high and dry, huh? So now you come to me for a matching outfit? Your second choice, really? Hmm⊠Not very convincing, I must sayâ you started teasing her.
âHey, itâs not my fault you are both boringâŠâ she said pouting.
âLook, I already picked it out. Youâre not gonna like it, so Seungcheol is probably your best option between the two of usâ you laughed as you warned her.
You knew her taste, she had always been way braver than you when it came to outfits for parties and, only on special occasions, did you let her win and change your whole outfit. This is definitely not one of those times. She knew that too.
âFine. Donât need either of you. See you there. Will be madâ she said and hung up on you.
You knew the game, sheâll pretend to be angry but by the time the party starts and youâre there she has already forgotten and all the love comes back immediately.
It was still fairly early. 5PM. You had 3 and a half hours to kill. You were tired. You had barely slept. âA nap it isâ you thought.
It sounded like a great idea and it felt like a great idea until you woke up and realized you had forgotten to set your alarm. It was now 9PM and your phone was blowing up.
Everyone was pissed. Damage control. Call Hoshi. He seemed the angriest from all the texts and missed calls you had. You explained it to him and told him you will be there. He sounded skeptical but he finally let you off the phone to get ready.
You had gotten ready in record time and managed to get to the party before 10PM.Â
As soon as you walked in, you felt at home. You missed this. So much. Too much.
You hear several screams and noise and you know you've been spotted.Seungkwan and Hoshi rush over to you being the loudest people in the room as usual.
âYou boys sure know how to make a girl feel welcomeâ you tell them with a big smile.
âTook you long enough. The beer pong tournament will start soon. Start drinking, warm-up. Come on, Y/L/N. This is THE YEARâ Seungkwan tells you.
âQuiet, Seungkwan. This is the outfit you chose, really?â Hoshi looks you up and down.
âHow dare you? I spent most of my college years in this sporty outfit. I look amazing, thank you very muchâ you stated and squinted your eyes at him.
âYou also didnât get laid often in college did you, Y/N?â he asked cockily.
âWell, not all of us can be the slut of the campus, Hoshi. You earned that title, very early onâ you teased him.
âI missed you⊠Never disappear again, we will all chase you downâ Hoshi said sincerely.
âYeah. yeah. Emotional get together, we are all in tears, wow. Now, letâs go, Y/N. We need to destroy them. Warm upâ Seungkwan interrupted your moment with Hoshi.Â
Suddenly, you see out of the corner of your eye movement towards you three.Â
 Shua, Vernon and Seokmin are all running towards you. Seokmin picks you up and spins you around very excitedly.
âIs this a rom-com in the nineties? Put her down, Seokmin, we all missed her and want a well deserved hugâ Shua said.
You hugged the three boys. Vernon didnât say a word, just gave you a knowing nod. Very typical.Â
âCongratulations on the promotion, Y/N! We all heard about it and we are so happy for you. You worked so hard, you earned itâ Seokmin said while holding your hand.
âYeah, we wanted to take you out to celebrate but⊠itâs been hard reaching you most of the timeâ Vernon said looking in your eyes. There it is. The guilt trip. You deserved this and they knew who to choose to make you feel that way.
âI know, Hansol. Iâm sorry. Iâll be better from now on. Promiseâ you said sincerely.Â
While you were all silent, sharing this moment, a scream, more like a screech, echoed through the party and you all looked in itâs direction.
Lily. Yup. Very obvious. She is walking as fast as she can in her heels towards you with a huge smile on her face and with Seungcheol right behind her.
And there he was. Right behind Seungcheol. Walking in your direction.Â
And he wasnât alone. Of course. Next to him was this cute, small girl with big eyes. She looked so innocent and small. Just his type.
All of your worries disappear. Heâs not going to talk to you. He never cared. You truly had been such a fool for so long. You wonder how you never saw through it. It doesnât matter. You decide to focus on the people in front of you that truly love you and are so happy to see you.
âYou were right about the outfit. I hate itâ Lily says after hugging you and dropping her smile.
You rolled your eyes.Â
âYeah, yeah, itâs the reason I didnât get laid in college. Youâre too late for that joke, Lil. But thanks, for the clear and unconditional support on your side, as usualâ you said annoyed.
âCome on⊠Itâs not the only reason⊠Your resting bitch face and bombastic side eye were the main reasons you didnât get laid in collegeâ she said and everyone laughed.
âOkay, itâs been nice seeing you all. Leaving now. See you all in a yearâ you started to turn away.
âNo way youâre leaving. Itâs been months, you owe us this. Better bring your A-game tonight, Y/N. Some of us arenât in a merciful moodâ Seungcheol pulled you back into the group.
âThatâs all you got for me, Seungcheol? Youâre getting softâ you said, challenging him.
âItâs your fault. Left me all alone with all of them. You brought this on yourselfâ he said, narrowing his eyes at you.
âHi, Y/N. Congratulations on the promotionâ Jeonghan spoke, almost whispering. He sounded nervous.Â
Everyone whipped their heads around to look at Jeonghan and then you. They kept looking between the two of you. Some of them expected you to blow up and some of them expected you to be polite and cordial. You surprised all of them.
You looked away from Jeonghan without speaking a word. You turned to Seungkwan and locked your arm with his.
âSo? Lead me to our victory, partner. Or should I replace you before we even start?â you asked him.
âAbsolutely not, youâre mine. Weâre gonna destroy all of you. Prepare yourselvesâ he stared at Vernon, Shua and Seungcheol specifically.
Then he led you towards the alcohol. You were extremely thankful for him.
Seungkwan might have met Jeonghan before he met you but there was a reason everyone said you must have been twins in another life. He suffered the way you did, his reactions were similar. Your side eyes? Unmatched. The only thing you were mainly different was in pettiness. He had the ability to be much more petty and cruel if needed than you. Until tonight.Â
Seungkwan was proud of you. Maybe it didnât look polite but Jeonghan had ripped your heart out, put it through a blender and served it back to you on a silver platter. You owed him nothing. He made his choice when he left you and he is reaping the consequences.
Hoshi and Seungcheol stood on top of the living room table and warned everyone:
âBeer pong tournament starts in 30 minutes. Sign up with your partners now!â
âKeep drinking, warm up, Iâll sign us up. We got this!â Seungkwan tells you immediately.
He was way too excited for this but you understand him and everyone else. It had been far too long since you had all been together, relaxing like this, having fun. And it had been even longer since the beer pong partners had changed.
Usually, you and Jeonghan were always a team. The cheater and the angel who convinces everyone their moves are within regulation due to some unchecked loophole. Shua and Vernon, the americans. Always a team. Always made it to the finals against you and Jeonghan. Seungcheol and Hoshi were always a team. An unlikely one but one that always worked. Seungkwan always forced Woozi to be his partner even though Woozi just wanted to be left alone. Everyone else was pretty okay partnering up with whomever was available and they didnât put too much effort into fighting everyone for a partner. Mingyu and Wonwoo, Seokmin and Dino, and lastly, Jun and Minghao. They were the good ones. The ones that played for fun only. At least in this game.
This time around, Woozi finally thought he would get some peace but Jeonghan was forced to pick him since obviously you would not be pairing up with him.Â
You joined everyone around the table and started a conversation with Lily who always got bored watching you guys compete. Well, until Seungcheol started to lose, then she got mad at everyone. It was adorable.Â
You could overhear Jeonghan trying to convince Woozi to join him and at that moment a voice you did not know breaks you out of focus.
âHi! Iâm Haneul! Jeonghan invited me here tonight. The guys are pretty close, huh? Wanted to see if I could join you girls while they play and maybe find out a few secrets about Jeonghanâ she giggled.
Lily looked at you and then back at Haneul.Â
âHi, Haneul. Iâm Lily. This is Y/N. We met the boys in college. Or, Y/N met some of them in college and then we all got put together into this insane group. How do you know Jeonghan?â She asked her.Â
She really knew you inside and out. She knew you werenât going to speak a word to this girl and at the same time, you wanted to know everything about her. You hated it. You hated him. He made you this way. This poor girl had done nothing to you, yet here you were hating everything about her for absolutely no rational reason.
âOh, from work. I just started at the company and I got assigned to Jeonghanâs team. Heâs such a great guy--â
You walked away. Nope. Not tonight. You worked hard to get over him. You knew this would be a reality one day. Sure, you thought it would happen much later but you have to face it now. Heâs here with someone he thinks is worthy of him and that he clearly wants to have a serious relationship with. He never brings anyone around the boys unless he means it. And she was so perfect for him. Your complete opposite.
You want to vomit. You hate this. You hate it here. How are you supposed to play a game and have fun when this is happening? It was way too soon. You shouldnât be here, you knew. You knew this was a mistake. You started thinking of ways out. Trying to find a way to sneak out, turn off your phone and hope in the morning, the boys feel forgiving.
âStop trying to figure out a way to sneak outâ Seungcheol spoke beside you.Â
âHow did you know?â you asked him, sounding sad.
âBecause if I were you, Iâd be thinking about the exact same thingâ he answered and put his arm around you to comfort you.
âI missed you, Cheolieâ you said, resting your head on his shoulder.
He kissed the top of your head and asked âIs that why we barely spoke these last few months?â
âNot you too, CheolieâŠâ you said as you moved away from him.
âCome on, you know we have to. You disappeared. You both said your⊠âsituationâ wasnât going to change anything but it changed everything. You both deserve the shit youâre being handed by all of usâ he said as he sipped his beer.
âSo youâre giving him shit, too?â you asked, also sipping your drink.
âOh heâs got it so much worse than you, Y/N. You have no idea the kind of pain we unleash on him on a daily basisâ he said and smiled at you.
You knew he meant it too.
âGood. Heâs earned itâ you said and you both laughed.
âLET US BEGIN!â Hoshi yelled at the top of his lungs.
He jump scared everyone in the room and Seungkwan was ready for murder. Poor Mingyu had to hold him back from Hoshi as Hoshi ran off laughing as loudly as possible.
âSome things never changeâ you thought to yourself.
The tournament started and everything was going well. You were distracted and having fun, finally. And Seungkwan never left your side. Well⊠thatâs not entirely true, but every time he did, he made sure one of the boys was there to prevent you from running away.Â
You and Seungkwan had made it to the Semi-finals. A place Seungkwan had never been in all of these tournaments. He always blamed the cheaters but now here you were. And you were going to face Jeonghan and Woozi in the semi-finals.
Of course. You looked up and sighed. The universe really enjoys watching you suffer. Itâs like it knows how much you love competitive Jeonghan and has decided to torture you even more. Because itâs not enough he looks that good and it wasnât enough when he walked towards you with a little girlfriend behind him, no. That wasnât enough. You needed to suffer more.
Seungkwan grabs you by the shoulders and makes you stare at him.
âA little creepy, donât ya think?â you asked him and laughed.
âStop laughing. Look at him. I want you to put your pain to useâ he said, and almost growled at you.
âExcuse me?â you asked, but you knew what he was going to say next.
âHe brought a girl here. Look at her. Very cute. Just his type, isnât she? And, he barely tried speaking to you. Get angry, letâs destroy himâ he told you while staring at you.
âSeriously, Seungkwan? Thatâs lowâ you said.
âYou know whatâs low? Knowing you were coming and bringing her. Use it. I need this win, Y/N and so do youâ he said as he let go of your shoulders and started focusing on your adversaries.
You get what Seungkwan is doing and you know if you were Sengkwan you would be able to channel all of that energy and anger towards winning, but youâre not Seungkwan. This is where your personalities diverge completely. Right now, all of those thoughts, everything that has happened tonight⊠You are trying your hardest to just not cry. Do. Not. Cry.Â
Long story short. You lost. Bad. You sucked. Bad. And you wanted out. Bad.
As soon as the final shot sinks and the match ends, you get out of that living room and you go hide.Â
You need to breathe, you canât breathe there. Youâre suffocating.
You donât know how long you stay in the guest bathroom. Youâre on the floor, tears running down your face and your breathing has finally started to stabilize. âYouâre fine. Youâre okay. Youâll be fineâ you kept telling yourself over and over.
You get up, clean your face, take one last look in the mirror and try to make yourself look presentable. You needed to leave this party. This was too much, too soon. The boys would have to understand.
You leave the bathroom and as youâre about to leave the guest bedroom, he spoke up behind the bathroom door.
âNot even a hello, love?â
Your heart started beating so loudly, you started shaking. How dare he? How dare he do this to you? You looked back at him over your shoulder and said:
âDonât make the wrong choices and expect no consequences, Jeonghan. You shouldnât keep Haneul waiting.â
And you left.
You left. This time, you had the power. You closed the door behind you and you started getting ready to leave. Some of the boys ran over to you.
âI had fun, I did. But I have to go, okay? Iâm sorry Soonyoung. And congrats to you boys, you deserve this. You worked too hard so kill it, okay?â you said with a weak smile on your face looking between Hoshi, Jun, Minghao and baby Dino.
They all gave you a huge group hug and let you leave.
You got home and you cried yourself to sleep, again.
You promised yourself you wouldnât cry for him anymore, no matter what. But here you are. In bed, crying.
You wonder if you even understand Jeonghan at all. If you ever did. He left, didnât try to contact you but tried to speak to you when you first walked in the party. Brought a new girl to the party he knew you would finally be at and pretended to sulk when you didn't answer his greeting.
You have no idea what he wants. You never did. But it doesnât matter. Not anymore.Â
In a way, now you can heal. You saw him with someone else, the worst possible scenario in your head and you survived. Barely. But you did. Youâll learn to navigate these feelings and youâll get better at forgetting him.
Tonight was difficult but tomorrow will be better.
It had been two weeks since the party. You had been busy and hadnât had time to think much more about it. And, you also didnât want to think about it or talk about it at all.
So, you may have been ignoring the texts the boys sent and even Lily. You just didnât have the energy at this point. You were still drained and trying to find your bearings.
You knew this wouldnât last much longer. They were very persistent when they had to be and when they wanted to be.Â
Today you decided to have lunch delivered and eat in your office. It was one of the days you needed to be in the office and you were already drained. You didnât expect any visitors, especially at lunch time but thereâs a knock at your door.
âWho is it?â you asked from your desk, pausing your Youtube video.
Lily doesnât even reply and just opens your office door and comes right in.
âWell, hello there. Why did you knock if youâre just gonna make yourself at home either way?â you asked her playfully.
âIâm mad at you. This is the silent treatment, in case youâve forgotten what that feels likeâ she said as she crossed her arms.
âNot much of a silent treatment if you stalk me all the way here AND speak to me or is it?â you asked again.
âYouâre unbelievable you know that, Y/N? We barely speak or see you for 6 months, you show up to one party, leave abruptly in the middle of it and start to ignore us again and you still think this is a joke? Keep pushing us away like this and one day none of us are going to push back anymoreâ she said and your smile fell from your face.
âIâm sorry, Lil. Jeonghan caught me alone at the party and⊠I had to leave after that. I couldnât be there anymore. I felt like I couldnât breathe. I wasnât ready to see him yet and definitely not ready to see him with someone else so quickly after our falling outâ you said honestly.
Lily sighed and smiled sadly at you.Â
âLetâs talk about it? You havenât talked to anyone about it since the falling out. I really think itâs time you share your burden with someone. You canât keep carrying this alone. Itâs going to keep suffocating you. Let it out with me, yeah? Tomorrow? I can come over, we can spend the day together, talking and binge eating and drinking. Like the old days. Let me be your friend, Y/Nâ
âDealâ was all you said but it was enough to make Lily smile more brightly.Â
She hugged you and said her goodbyes and your day continued.
Maybe she was right. You had not talked about it with anyone. Maybe youâve healed as much as you can on your own. You need support. You need your friends.
The next day you woke up and you were excited. You hadnât spent a full day with Lily like this in a very long time. You missed this so much.Â
You went out for a quick grocery run to get all her favorite snacks and drinks and some other additions you needed for your home and you decided since you werenât going to bring too much back that you would walk to the store. You could use the fresh air.
As you were walking there, you kept thinking about what Seungkwan had said before. He knew you had blocked Jeonghan but how? You hadnât told anyone and sure, it could be an obvious assumption, but he knew. With certainty.Â
You couldnât stop thinking about the possibility of Jeonghan having tried to contact you after that night and finding out he was blocked. How did that make him feel? Why did he tell Seungkwan? And did he try to contact you more times after that? How many more times?
âWhy do I care? Why am I torturing myself?â you asked yourself. But you know why. Deep down (maybe not that deep down) you wanted him to try to contact you. You wanted him to feel like shit when he realized you blocked him, and you wanted him to keep trying to contact you.
You just wanted him.
How pathetic is that? He keeps hurting you and you keep wanting him. Always.
After you got home and prepared everything for Lilyâs visit, you sat on your kitchen counter staring at your phone next to you.
âDonât do it. Donât do it. I shouldnât do it. This is a fucking bad idea. Stop being weak. Donât do itâ you kept telling yourself over and over again. As you were about to do something very stupid, your doorbell rings and you thank all the heavens and Gods above.
You opened the door and a very excited and happy Lily barged in.
âDid you miss me? How long has it been since we did this? Feels like foreverâŠâ she said as she started taking out her blankets and pillows and setting up your living room for a proper girls day.
âI want to unblock Jeonghan. Is that stupid?â you asked abruptly and so quickly that Lily thought she misheard you.
Lily slowly turned around and looked at you with an eyebrow raised.
âWhy?â she asked.
âI just⊠Seungkwan mentioned before that he knew I had blocked Jeonghan and I thought that was weird because I didnât tell anyone anything and it got me thinking that yeah, I know, he couldâve made that comment based on an assumption but you know Seungkwan, he doesnât say or do things he is not certain of and that made me wonder if Jeonghan had tried to contact me after that night and if he did, what did he want to say and how did he feel after being blocked by meâ you said all in one breath and so fast that Lily almost laughed at you.
âEasy there, we have all day, no need to say things in one breath like that. Donât want you passing out on meâ she said, now laughing out loud.
âSorry⊠So⊠Is it stupid?â you asked her again.
âOf course not. What you two shared⊠I know we never talked about it but I actually saw myself and Seungcheol a lot in you two but you know, in a completely dysfunctional and delusional way of pretending you didnât love each otherâ she said as she laughed lowly and you sat down on your couch.
âLook⊠I donât know what he wanted to say but I can confirm he has tried to contact you after that night. Several times actually. Seungcheol told me. Iâm assuming he told Seungcheol, Seungkwan and probably Vernon and Shua. He knows they would be his best bet at convincing you to unblock him but none of them wanted to help, I guess. At least Seungcheol didnât.â she said and you looked down.
âI know he fucked up. But⊠and donât hate me for saying this⊠You did too. And I think you know that. Sure, he fucked up in a much more serious and permanent way but you two just kept hurting each other for years. Itâs always been so complicated when it shouldâve been easy.â she continued.
âI also know the Y/N I know is a very forgiving person and has always given people second chances. Not saying you should forgive him just like that. But maybe you can hear him out. He clearly wants to talk to you about it and you clearly miss him and want to know what he has to say. Just because you give him a chance to explain, does not mean you will forgive him and want him back in your life.âÂ
She finished her speech and you looked at her with tears in your eyes.
âHow long have you been holding that in?â you asked and laughed.
â6 whole months actually. Seungcheol kept stopping me from saying anything and he kept saying you were too angry. Not ready to hear it just yetâ she said and was crying with you now.Â
You both looked insane. Crying and laughing at the same time, holding each othersâ hands but this was exactly what you needed.
âI hate it when heâs rightâ you said and laughed.
âOh, same. And he is always right. The boys were all on your side, you know? Always giving Jeonghan shit.â she added.
âI bet⊠Seungcheol told me that at the party tooâ you told her.
âSo⊠Unblock him. Donât tell anyone. I wonât either. And weâll see if he tries to contact you again or notâ she told you and moved to turn on the TV.
âTo be fair, itâs been 6 months. Not sure he would keep trying for that longâ you told her as you started to open some of the snacks and drinks.
âDonât say that. I know for a fact he kept trying and hoping you had unblocked him so heâll definitely try againâ she said as she started helping you with the snacks.
You nodded and⊠Unblocked him. You did it. It felt weird. You wanted him to reach out but you were also scared of what he would say if he did. And, if you were being honest, you were still so angry at him for leaving you. So youâll know that if you decide to hear him out, that first conversation is not going to be pretty no matter what he has to tell you.
The rest of the day went by fast. You talked and vented to Lily about everything. Just like you did with Jeonghan on that day. You had told her everything, you had cried together and laughed and after all of it, you just watched a few episodes of a show and before you knew it she had to leave.
You said your goodbyes and promised each other you would do this way more often.
You felt happy when she left. Lighter. You cleaned most things up and decided to go to bed early. You were feeling tired. You were feeling as if today you were finally going to get some real sleep. Lily was right. You needed this. You needed to vent and share your burden and now that you had, you felt relieved.
You wanted to take full advantage of this opportunity. You turned all your notifications off, did your nighttime beauty routine and went to sleep. You fell asleep so fast and you slept like a baby. At last.
Sunday morning you woke up so well rested and a bit confused from sleeping so much. You honestly donât remember the last time you woke up after 11AM and it felt great. You stretched, yawned, opened your blinds and smiled.Â
Wow, you really did feel so much better after being and talking with Lily. It helped with some of the pain and she was right. You didnât know if you would give Jeonghan a chance to explain himself yet but if you did, that did not mean that you were going to forgive him and that your lives would again intertwine.Â
After showering and cooking breakfast, you went to your dinner table facing your window to eat and you remembered you had turned off your notifications for the night so you went back to your room to pick up your phone and turn them back on.
You started eating and checking your notifications when you receive a notification you didnât think youâd receive this soon.
It was a text from Jeonghan. Apparently sent late last night.
âI know I havenât texted you since before the party. I didnât know what to say. Iâm sorry isnât enough. I wanted to give you time but these weeks have been shitty. Iâm miserable. I wish you could read my messages and see how much Iâve been suffering without you. I keep texting you pretending that you read them. How pathetic am I? Doesnât matter. Iâll keep being pathetic until the day you give me a chance to explain everything. I miss you terribly, loveâ
You kept reading it over and over again. You didnât know what to do. This is not something you can do over text. This also is starting to seem like a very bad idea at this moment. You know he probably saw the message was delivered, unlike his previous ones.Â
Jeonghan is very much feeling like you. Confused. Not quite sure what to do. Send another text? No. Not over text. Call you? Maybe itâs too soon, maybe he should wait to see if you reply at all and then try to call you. A voice message? Hmm, not ideal but it would give him a better platform to at least try to convince you to meet with him and let him explain everything.Â
A voice message it is. But it canât be any voice message, he decided. He needed to write down everything he needed to say in this message. He needed to be clear and straight to the point. Just like you always have been.
After hours of writing points down and recording himself and hearing it back, he decided to just go for it. No matter what, it wonât be perfect. But itâs all heâs got. He has this chance and he canât afford to waste it. He canât afford you blocking him again and not being able to get his second chance.
You spent hours trying to avoid staring at your phone. You cleaned your whole apartment and decided to play some games to distract yourself. âYou donât have to respond. If he means it, heâll reach out again. Be patient, Y/Nâ you told yourself.
And sure enough, your phone dings a text notification. Youâre so nervous. Itâs just a text and youâre so nervous. You look down at your phone. Itâs a voice message. No. You canât hear his voice. Why does he know you so well?Â
You wanted to wait to open it. You really did. But you couldnât. You reached down and listened to it.
âHi, love⊠I⊠I donât really know how to start. I canât believe you unblocked me. And, donât worry. I know this doesnât mean that youâll hear me out or forgive me but you know I have to try, right? Maybe you donât. I know youâve been feeling like you never mattered to me. Like you were never worthy of me. And itâs all my fault. In all these years, Iâve been so blind and Iâve hurt you so much. I wanted to beg you for a second chance but⊠This isnât my second chance. Itâs not even my third. Iâve hurt you more times than I can keep count and you have given me multiple chances to redeem myself and I always disappointed you. I kept asking myself, if I were you, would I forgive me? Would I give me another chance? How many chances are too many chances? How many times will you forgive me before I learn? Truth is, if I were you, I would be done. Completely. Iâm sending you this on the very slim hope that you are better than me and that you will at least let me explain everything. Even if after you hear it, you wonât forgive me. Please⊠Let me explain myself. Meet with me, one last time, love.â
He was crying for most of his message. You could hear it and it was tearing you apart.
Part of you wanted to meet with him but the other part of you was still so mad. Could he just beg and cry and get away with everything? You deserve better than all of this, you know that now. Youâre not sure what to do. You needed to weigh your options.Â
You sent him a simple text: âI donât know. Iâll think about it. Please, donât message me anymore. Iâll reach back out when I have an answer.â
He liked your message and added nothing else. Jeonghan knows you well and he knows to respect your boundaries, always.
You spent the next few days thinking it over. You kept remembering Lilyâs words. Listening to him does not mean you will forgive him and it might even help you with closing this chapter in your life, if thatâs the final choice youâll make.
But somehow, every time you tried to message him and tell them that yes, you will hear him out, you couldn't pull that trigger. You were scared. You couldnât pinpoint what was holding you back.
You decided to call Lily. She would help you, she would know what to say to help you through this.
She picked up after a few rings.
âHey! How have you been? Howâs the⊠situation we talked about Saturday?â she asked and you could hear some background noise and echo.
âAm I on speakerphone, Lil?â you asked back.
âYes, Iâm cooking dinner and Seungcheol answered it for me. Is this not a speakerphone conversation?â she asked you and you replied right away.
âActually, if Cheolie is there and wants to give his input, I would appreciate it. Iâm⊠confused? I donât even know the right word to describe what Iâm feeling right nowâŠâ you replied and you immediately got an answer from the other side of the phone.
âIâm here. Tell usâ he said, straight to the point. You too had always had that in common. Cut through the bullshit and get to the point.
âWell, Saturday after me and Lily spoke, I decided to unblock Jeonghan. I just⊠Wanted to know if he tried to reach out and if he would again and he did. That same night actually. Long story short he sent me a text and a voice message begging me to meet up with him and let him at least explain. He said a lot of things⊠I donât know how to feel about them? I told him I would think about it and I thought about it. A lot. I want to hear him out but every time I go to message him the fear and hurt resurfaces again and I just⊠Canât⊠I mean⊠Does this mean I shouldnât listen to him? I need helpâŠâ you said and waited for a response.
âYou should hear him outâ Seungcheol said simply.
You didnât know what to say so he continued.
âWhatâs the worst that can happen? You fight? Good. You need to fight. You both need to tell each other everything youâve been holding inside since you met. You need to scream at each other and understand how annoyingly frustrating you both are. And if after that fight you decide itâs not worth it, youâve given him too many chances, then youâll know and youâll be able to finally get closure and truly move on. Letâs face it, Y/N. You wonât fully move on until you get your answers. All of them.â
âI really do hate it when youâre rightâŠâ you said and the three of you chucked.
âBut Iâm always right, Y/N. Meet up with him and come running here if you need toâ he told you.
After you hung up with them, you decided you needed to rest. You had a migraine. Tomorrow will be a new day and tomorrow youâll let him know.
The next morning you decided to call Jeonghan before starting work. You knew his schedule and you knew he would be up. You couldnât do this through text and you wonât.
He picked up immediately.
âHello, love. Good morning. Did you sleep well?â he sounded the same. Asked the same questions he used to before. It felt familiar and nice.
âHi, Jeonghan. Good morning. Yes, I did, thank you. I hope you did too. Look, Iâve decided to hear you out. I donât want to talk through the phone or in a public place. I have a feeling this conversation will be⊠difficult to say the least for the both of us. Can I come over after work this week or is the weekend better for you?â you asked him.
âTonight. Come over tonight, please.â he said without any hesitation.
âOkay⊠Tonight it is. Iâm working from home so I should be done at 6PM. Iâll be there by 7â you stated plainly.
âOkay, love. Iâll be waitingâ he said and he sounded as if he were smiling. It made you want to smile as well but you didnât.
âSee you then, Jeonghanâ you said and hung up.
You werenât ready to see and speak to him but were you ever going to be?
Tonight, everything will be out in the open. Finally. You will both put all our cards on the table. No more secrets. No more hiding. And then, you can both decide how to move forward. Together or separate.
6PM comes quicker than you anticipated and itâs time to get ready and meet with him.
You got to his apartment and the nerves started kicking in. âYou got thisâ you told yourself right before you rang the doorbell.Â
He must have been right by the door because the door flew open almost right after you rang the doorbell.
âHi, love. Come in, pleaseâ he said and gave you room to walk towards the living room. He sounded nervous. He looked nervous too. It made you feel good to know you werenât alone in this.Â
You walked in the living room. It was clear he prepared for your arrival. The room smelled like the candle you loved and kept buying for him so he would always have it when you came over. The lights were dimmed and he had put music on in the background. He had water and snacks on the coffee table and your pictures together were still up and visible to anyone who walked in his house.
Fuck, you missed him so much. You want to stay strong but you are already feeling so weak.
You sat on the couch, turned your phone off and looked up at him with raised eyebrows, silently asking him âWhat are you waiting for?â.
He sat on the couch with you, turned his phone off and started speaking.
âI love you. And no, I donât mean in a âbest friendsâ type of way. Iâm in love with you. And yes, I am fully aware those are the exact same words you said to me 6 months ago. And you should know Iâve wanted to say these words back to you ever since that night. Iâve always loved you. Since the very beginning. I have been trying to figure out why I didnât see it or why I kept telling myself that I didnât love you like that but honestly, I donât know why I did it. I know Iâve always been afraid to lose you. To have you look at me with disappointment in your eyes. But before that night, I told myself we were just friends and were always going to be just friends. I had convinced myself of that fact and I donât understand why.â he said with tears in his eyes now.Â
âFuck, I know what a clichĂ© it is to only realize what I have in front of me once I lose it, trust me. But the night I left, I remember thinking how happy I had always been with you, around you, in your presence. How lost I was before you walked into my life and it all made so much fucking sense. You and I made sense.â he continued.Â
You were staring in his eyes and it was your turn now to turn your poker face on.
âOnly after I met you did I set up all these rules about my dating life. No one was ever worthy of dating me simply because they werenât you. I kept making these excuses⊠To myself, to everyone around me. But I was just too stupid to see that I was making these rules in hopes of finding someone like you. Because Iâve always known since I met you, Y/N, that Iâm the one that is and never was worthy of being with you. But if thereâs anything I have learned in all the years weâve known each other is that thereâs absolutely no one like you, not for meâ he continued.
âI wanted you for so long that when I saw the chance of having you, I took it. No hesitation. I donât regret that first night and never will. What I will regret is never having kissed you that night and the conversation that took place after it all happened. What I said, the way I acted. Like you were just another âfuck-buddyâ. I will never forgive myself for that and I donât expect you to eitherâ he said as tears kept flowing down his face.Â
He never wavered and kept looking at you while he finished up his speech.
âI know I donât deserve another chance. I donât deserve forgiveness. But I still had to ask. I had to try. I love you and I am begging you to give me another chance. At everything. Being your best-friend, your lover, your partner. I will spend the rest of my life making it up to you, if youâll let meâ and he was done.Â
The only sounds in the room were the sounds of you both crying. Why did he only decide to tell you all of this now? Why was life so unfair? You donât know if this is enough. His words are beautiful but they always have been. You needed more. Much more.Â
And your anger starts winning over your forgiving side. You still have a lot to tell him before you even make a decision about this. He needs to hear how much he has hurt you.Â
âAm I just supposed to be moved by this and forget all these years? Forget all the words youâve said to me, all the little comments and jokes you made about me not being your type and not even being close to what you wanted?â you asked him.
âYou know me well, Yoon Jeonghan, which means you know my memory never fails me. I remember every single cruel thing you said and smirked about. I remember the restaurant you never took me to no matter how many times I begged you to because âThat is way too romantic for us, loveâ. And you want me to believe that after youâve said all of these things you went home and felt bad about it?â you were getting angrier and angrier.
âYou donât love me. And you didnât love me back then either. You love the way I make you feel. You love how desperate and pathetic I am and always have been for you. You love that I worship the ground you walk on. You love the feeling of having someone willing to do anything for you, willing to sacrifice their own beliefs and self-esteem to get even a small portion of your attention. You love having someone beg you to take them out, begging you to see them. You love all of these things and anytime someone gave that to you, you stayedâ you were getting harsher now.Â
âThatâs how you found your âfuck-buddiesâ. You always chose the most desperate ones because you always loved the way it made you feel about yourself. Thatâs why you kept me around. You kept all of us around for different feelings. We were all desperate for you, yes. But their job was to keep you satisfied sexually, while mine was purely emotional. It wasnât love. Not for them and not for me.â
You said and started getting up from the couch and collecting your things.
âI was never different from them. Not in the core of the matter. In the end, we all got hurt and you always left, unburdened and ready for your next fling to satisfy your egoâ you said as you began to walk towards the apartment door.
You looked over your shoulder and told him: âI donât know if I can forgive you. I know I donât believe you. I wish I did. I really do. But my memories of every little thing you did over the years that hurt me are keeping me from letting go. Iâm glad we both got to say what we always needed to say to each other. Iâm not sure weâll see each other again, but if we donât, we can at least have closure now. Goodbye, Jeonghan.â
You got home that night and you were just⊠Numb. You couldnât cry anymore. You didnât want to scream. You just sat on your couch, staring at your wall, not knowing what to do and how to move on from this. From him.Â
You fell asleep on your couch that night and woke up the next day feeling even worse.
You reached out to both Lily and Seungcheol and they were very supportive but they also made sure you knew they werenât going to advise you any further. The next decision was entirely up to you.Â
The next week went by so slowly. You still felt like shit and it seemed to only get worse each day.
It may sound stupid but you missed him. You had just seen him. You had a bad fight. Yet, you missed him.Â
You went to your closet and took out the box of pictures you had hidden there. You started looking over each one of them. All of them were attached to such great memories. Memories of days together, nights together, vacations together. You were always smiling brightly. You remember all those feelings. Everything he had made you feel when you were together.Â
You started to regret some of the things you said last time you saw him. He cared for you deeply. You could tell from the pictures and from all the good memories you had. He always protected you and made sure you felt safe and warm. Your friendship was nothing like the flings he had. You went too far. You wanted to hurt him but you werenât fair in your accusations.
Youâre pretty sure thatâs why you feel like shit. You thought saying these things to him and hurting him would make you feel better. It would leave you satisfied knowing he was hurting like you did all those times. But it didnât. It made you feel so much worse than before.Â
You fucked up and now it was your turn to fix it. You knew if you went back there, it would mean you would forgive him. Were you ready for that? Was that what you wanted?
You dropped the pictures, grabbed your keys and left.Â
You were standing in front of his door wondering if you should ring the doorbell. He might be busy. He might not even be home. You didnât even know what you were going to say. Fuck, this was a terrible idea. You need to leave. Now. Go home. Regroup and come back with a plan.
The door opened and a tired Jeonghan was staring at you, blinking in confusion with his jacket halfway on his body.
âHmm⊠Hi⊠I wanted to talk to you. I shouldâve called or texted before. Sorry. I should leave. Sorryâ you were shaking and started to leave but he grabbed your elbow and stopped you from moving.
âNo. Stay. Iâm not busy. Talk to me. Pleaseâ he asked you.
âYou were leaving though⊠I feel bad⊠I--â
âI was out of whiskey. Was going to buy more. It doesnât matter. Stay. Come in. Talk. Please, loveâ he interrupted you and he never let go of your arm.Â
âO..Okay. Yeah. Okayâ you nodded and went inside his apartment.
He took off both his jacket and shoes and you did the same. You looked around. The house was messy. Very unusual. Jeonghan was a creature of habits and he hated messiness. This was your fault.
You decided to be blunt again.Â
âDid you mean it? What you said last week? All of it?â you asked him nervously.
âYes. Every word. I know itâs hard to believe but I meant every fucking wordâ he responded just as bluntly.
âWhat about Haneul? You brought her around the boys⊠To the partyâŠâÂ
You hated that you asked but you had to know everything before giving him a permanent answer.
âShe invited herself. Pretty much blindsided me into joining us. Sheâs been following me around the company. Iâve made myself very clear. Iâm not available and it will never happen but she wasnât backing down. Iâve been really tired. Exhausted, after losing you. I had no strength left in me to fight her. I would just ignore her until she gets the message. Not my finest moment but I couldnât care lessâ he said plainly.
You nodded and started getting really nervous. You gulped and asked him your final question.
âI was an asshole last week. Iâm sorry. I said a lot of things that werenât fair. I wanted to hurt you. I regret most of it. After all I said, do you still want me? Want us? Want to spend the rest of your life making it up to me?â
âThatâs all I want. I want all of it. I deserved your words. I deserved to be hurt. I should be the one apologizing. But fuck yeah. If you give me that chance, this last chance, I will never let you go againâ he said as he walked closer to you until he was so close you could feel his breath on your lips.
You looked up at him.
âDeal. I want to forgive you. I want to move forward with you. With us. But I have a few rulesâŠâ
He looked in your eyes and started to smirk. You were giving him a taste of his own medicine. He knew this wasnât going to be easy but he would do everything to earn you back.
You moved away from him and started to put your shoes and jacket on, getting ready to leave.
âNo sex. Not in the beginning. I want romance. Lots of dates. We have similar tastes and you know me better than anyone. Choose wiselyâ he laughed and nodded along.
âKissing is very much allowed and encouraged. This is obviously an exclusive relationship and I am to be called and to be treated as your girlfriend, alwaysâ he kept smiling and was starting to tear up. He couldnât believe how lucky he was.
âAnything else, princess?â he asked.
âNo princess. I like baby much better. Or angel. Other than that, no other rules. For nowâ you answered him. And before you left, you walked towards him, intertwined your hands and asked him sincerely:
âI missed you, Hannie. Donât make me regret this, okay?â
âNever, baby. Youâre mine now. I missed you so much, too. Let me take you out tomorrow, yeah? First date?â he asked back.
âI canât tomorrow. Friday Iâm free. Pick me up after work?â
âIâll be there, babyâ he said and you turned to leave.
Right before you left he told you âIâll be texting you. Donât ignore your boyfriend, baby. Heâs very needyâ
You laughed as you nodded and left his apartment.
You got home that night and you couldnât sleep. You were so happy. Is this even real? This wasnât a dream, right? And as you were having these thoughts, Jeonghan texted you just as he promised right before you left his apartment.
Next thing you knew, a month flew by. Your first month together as a couple.
So far heâs kept all his promises. He was the one worshiping you now. He always texted or called to make sure you were safe and happy. He took you out on multiple dates a week and always made you feel like you were the only two people in the whole world.
On your first date he took you to the restaurant down the street from his place that you always wanted to go. You had a feeling he was going to pick that place and you made fun of him for it but he kept saying âI told you, baby. From now on, I will do everything to earn your forgiveness and love. ClichĂ©s and allâ.
After your first date, he took you home and kissed you so gently by the door.Â
You never thought you would feel this way. You felt complete. The happiest you had ever been.
During this month together, he never made any additional moves on you.Â
You had kissed. A lot.Â
Made out like teenagers. A lot.
But he always stopped it and ended your date there.
You knew you asked for this in the beginning as one of your rules but you couldnât take it anymore.Â
You needed him. You knew you had to be the one to make the move or show that you are ready. Otherwise, he will keep respecting your boundaries no matter how hard you want him to disrespect them.
Today you met up with Lily for lunch. The guys and Lily had barely seen the two of you. You only had time and eyes for each other and everyone was letting you two enjoy this new relationship without any interruptions.
âYou are glowing, you know that, Y/N?â she asked as she ate.
You laughed and told her âIâm just so fucking happy. I never thought this would happen. Heâs been so amazing. And it doesnât feel different. I mean, our friendship. Weâre still infuriating with each other but now we just have the added benefit of kissing to shut each other up.â
âAnd fuckingâ she said loudly and you hushed her while you two giggled.
âWeâre in public, asshole. And about the fuckingâŠâ you said.
âNothing yet? I gotta give it to him. Never thought he would be able to last this long without making a move. Good for himâ she said and kept giggling.
âGood for him? I am dying here, woman. Iâve tried everything. All my moves, all the signs and he just wonât do anythingâ you whispered.
âItâs your fault. You made it a âruleâ. You should know that not only would he take this seriously, but he would also use this to torture you for as long as he could. Possibly until you begged him to fuck youâ she said again way too loudly in this very public restaurant.
You looked around after shushing her and you realized what she just said. Oh my god. Heâs doing this on purpose. Of course. You shouldâve known better. You gave him a challenge and he was punishing you for it, the little shit.
âI love that you are only realizing this nowâ she said and kept laughing.
âShut up and finish your foodâ you bit back at her.
You had a date tonight with Jeonghan. You had offered to cook for the both of you. More of an intimate date. And you were going in for the kill tonight. You were done waiting but you were also going to have some fun with him.
You had this pink dress in your closet that you bought almost a year ago. You were saving it for a really good date or so you kept telling everyone. And weâre here now.Â
Pink is not your usual pick but this dress is a killer. And an added bonus: Jeonghan loves seeing you in pink. This dress is just short enough. Obscene cleavage. A bit corseted. Enough to let your natural curves speak for themselves.
Underneath the dress, the smallest thong was covering your pussy and of course, no bra.
You had covered your body in the watermelon body lotion he loved smelling on you. Very little makeup and hair down. Just how he liked it on you.
Everything was ready and waiting for him. Food was ready and in the oven. You had set the mood with the candles, lighting and music in the living room and dining room and your bedroom was certainly refreshed and ready to greet him.
When you opened the door and he had the chance to see you. You knew you made all the right choices tonight. He stared you up and down and gulped.
âLike what you see, Hannie?â you asked and walked away from him towards your kitchen.
He came up behind you before you could reach the kitchen counter, turned you around and kissed you. Deeply. Full of passion. Until you were both out of breath. He started touching the bottom part of your dress with his fingertips very lightly.
ââYou look absolutely gorgeous tonight, baby. Why havenât I seen this dress before?â he asked.
âWell⊠You werenât exactly the best boy to me for a while. But now⊠Now you deserve to see it. All for yourself, tooâ you said, still panting and recovering from the kiss.
And in a very Jeonghan fashion, he completely surprises you with his next question.
âHas anyone else seen you in this dress, baby? On a date? Who have you worn this for before me, hmm?â
You smiled and whispered in his ear: âNo one else but you.â
He almost growled at you and started leaning in again to kiss you. He had that look in his eyes you knew all too well and you moved away from him.
âWe should eat. Food is getting cold, Hannieâ you said and moved towards the oven.
He stared and narrowed his eyes at you but he knew what you were playing at. He knew you too well. Letâs see who has the most self-control tonight, then.
You had a great meal. He complimented your cooking as usual and kept holding your hand every time he saw the opportunity to.Â
Everything was perfect.Â
You two started cleaning up after eating and you kept talking about everything that was going on in your lives.
Everything was always so easy between the two of you.Â
You both sat on the couch and decided to watch a movie together. He was very touchy during the whole movie. His hand was moving higher and higher up your thigh and every time he moved it higher, he sighed, almost moaned.Â
You were so fucking wet and he had barely done anything. Tonight had to be the night, right? âHe wasnât that evilâ you thought.
When the movie ended and his hand was almost completely underneath your dress, he moved closer to you, leaned in, held your chin in his hands and started to whisper against your lips.
âI should go, itâs getting lateâ
He laughed after watching the disappointment in your eyes, got up and started getting ready to leave.
You also got up and grabbed his jacket to stop him.
âYou canât leave yetâ you said shakily.
He hummed.
âWhyâs that, baby? Something you want from me?â he asked as he walked back over to you.
Okay, you can say it. Itâs fine. Just ask him. Tell him, do anything.
âUgh⊠Nevermind. Just⊠Drive safe, I guessâ and you tried handing his jacket back to him.
He licked his lips, ripped the jacket from your hands, threw it on the couch and started walking you backwards towards the living room wall.
Once you were backed up against the wall, he placed both hands on each side of your head.
âIs it so hard to ask to get fucked, hmm? Not like you havenât done it before. Whatâs with the pride, baby?â he asked.
You stared at him with uneven breaths but stayed silent.
âYou know me, baby. Either ask me what I want to hear or Iâll leave you here against this wall in your probably very small and very wet pantiesâ he said and started kissing down your neck.
âStay. Fuck meâ you said hurrily and barely in a whisper.
âYou have to do better than that, baby. Ask me nicely since youâve been a tease all fucking nightâ he said and now one of his hands was on your thigh, rubbing circles.
âPlease, fuck me, Hannie. Please. I canât wait anymore. Youâre driving me crazyâ you begged and he must have liked it because you felt him chuckle against your skin.
He pulled your dress up and slapped your clothed pussy. You moaned.
âNow that wasnât so hard was it? Youâve wanted me to fuck you for a while now. Was wondering when you were going to start acting like a greedy little slut. My greedy little slutâ he told you while he cupped your pussy.
âHannieâŠâ you moaned.
He moved away from you and started walking to your bedroom. You followed him. He sat on your bed and started unbuttoning his shirt while licking his lips and staring at you.
You stood in front of him.
âTake it all off, baby and come sit on my faceâ he told you.
You were nervous. You hadnât done this before. Not with him. But you were also excited.
You took it all off, just as he asked and you started moving closer. He layed back on the bed and beckoned you to join him.
You did. You laid on top of him completely naked and you started kissing each other. His hands were everywhere. You couldnât get enough of him.Â
He stopped kissing you and started moving up on the bed to straddle his head and he dove right in. No hesitation. No words. No more waiting. He was eating you out like a starved man. You were holding on to the top of your bed and his hair.
He was being sloppy and loud and moving up and down between your clit and your hole. He spanked you hard and moved one of his hands to your folds. He started fingering you using two fingers while sucking hard on your clit.Â
You were so fucking close already. This was fucking embarrasing. You start shaking and moving away from his mouth and he spanks you again.
âDonât fucking move away from me again. Donât you dare. Donât be embarrassed and cum. Let go. Cumâ he told you then while pushing your hips back down on his mouth.
And as soon as he pushed you back down and continued his movements, you started falling apart and moaning his name so fucking loud.Â
He didnât stop then. He kept going.
âHmm⊠Sensitive⊠Canât⊠HannieâŠâ you whined.
âShhh baby, you can give me more. I know you can. Fucking give it to me. Iâm fucking greedyâ he started fingering you again, slower this time and started marking your thighs with his mouth until he saw purple marks all over your inner thighs.Â
You kept moaning and whining and you were getting louder and impatient. He laughed and moved back on your clit.
This time he added a third finger and kept sucking on your clit. It was a mess, you were sure of it. His face, his fingers. You had never felt this wet and this sloppy before and you were getting closer and closer.
With his free hand, he cupped your breast and twisted your nippled between his fingers and you came again with a cry of his name.
You started slumping on the bed while you were still panting and he moved you off of him and laid you on your back.
He started kissing down your neck and taking his clothes off.
When he was fully naked and on top of you, you grabbed his face with both of your hands and you looked in his eyes. You wanted to know what he was thinking. How he was feeling.
âI love you, baby. So fucking much. Let me have you now, yeah?â he asked as he looked into your eyes. Almost as if he knew that you needed that, you needed to hear him say it.
You kissed him again and tangled your hand in his hair.
You both gasped when he started pushing into you and you both moaned when he bottomed out completely.
âFuck, I missed you so fucking much. This pussy was made for me. I might not last long, baby. Itâs been too long since I had youâ he whispered in your ear.
âHmmm, what about since your other âfuck-buddiesâ? How long ago was that?â you asked and he stared in your eyes and got very serious. You hated that you asked it but you need to know the answer.
âI havenât been with anyone else after you. I thought that was obvious, baby. I want you. I spent all these months wanting you. No one elseâ he said and started kissing you again.
You stopped kissing him and asked him to start moving and he did.
He held your hips in place with one hand and with the other he intertwined your fingers together and he started pounding into you. No mercy. He was desperate for you and you for him.
âFuck, Hannie⊠So good⊠Feels so fucking good⊠Donât stop, pleaseâŠâ
He grunted in response and kept pounding into you.
You were getting closer again and he felt it so he moved the hand that was holding yours to push down on your stomach and kept pounding you hard into the mattress.
âYouâre so close arenât you, baby? I can fucking feel it. Youâre squeezing me so hard, baby. Fuck⊠Let go. Let me feel youâ
He leaned his forehead against yours and you came again. This is the loudest you have probably been. You feel shy all of a sudden but you canât say anything coherent. Youâre mostly babbling at this point and he starts laughing at you.
âDonât tell me I fucked you stupid, baby. Use your words properly, youâre a big girlâ
âHannie⊠sâgoodâŠâ
He kept laughing and kissing you and he leaned back to move one of your legs and place it on his shoulder.
He was now squeezing your thigh of the leg on his shoulder with one hand and grabbing your tits with his other hand and he started slowly thrusting into you. So you could feel every vein and every ridge on his cock moving inside of you. This felt like torture but you knew he was delaying his orgasm as much as he could.
âLook at you⊠My angel⊠Youâre so gorgeous like this under me⊠Fuck, Iâm never letting you go. My good girl⊠Hmm? Are you my good girl, baby? Answer meâ
You started nodding.
âYes⊠Yeah⊠Yours.. Good⊠Good girlâŠâ
It was your turn now to surprise him. You grabbed his hand that was on your tits and moved it to your neck.
âFuck, baby⊠Want me to choke you? Canât have anything nice, can we? Calling you my good girl and you start acting like a greedy little slut againâ
He chuckled and started thrusting into you with much more force and speed. The hand on your neck started squeezing lightly and you started whining and feeling closer and closer to the edge again.
âGonna cum one last time, hmm? With my hand around your throat like a slut? Yeah⊠Fuck yeah⊠Cum with me then, angelâ
He leaned down to kiss you and you started cumming again. This time your vision turned white. You thought you were dreaming. This felt surreal.
You kept repeating his name over and over again and when you said âI love youâ, he finally came inside you with a grunt and a low moan in your ear.
He laid down on top of you as you both recovered and he kept playing with your hair and calling your name.
âBaby⊠You okay? Was that too much? Come back to me, donât fall asleep yet, we need to clean upâ
You laid with your eyes closed and hummed.
âIâm here, Hannie. Just⊠Give me a few minutes⊠I think you broke meâ you said and you both started laughing.
âGood broken though?â he asked.
âFucking amazing brokenâ you answered and you kept laughing together.
After a few more minutes of laying together in pure bliss, he convinced you to get up and take a shower with him.
He had to hold you up for most of it. You were so tired. He kept poking fun at you and all you could mumble was âyour faultâ and he started chuckling.
You shared a bed for the first time as a couple that night. You remember feeling like this was supposed to have been happening since the very beginning of your friendship.Â
You knew you wanted to have him with you here for the rest of your life and all you could do was hope he meant every word he said and that he would want the same with you. It was the best sleep of your life that night.
You woke up the next morning to the sounds of Jeonghan singing to the music he was playing and what sounded like cooking.Â
Fuck, you were starving. But first, you had to make yourself look presentable. He always looked so good in the morning and you⊠Well.., you had more of a rough appearance in the morning so you needed a moment to collect yourself before following the sound of his beautiful voice.
You went to the bathroom to do your morning routine and afterwards you joined him in the kitchen.
âGood morning, Hannie. What are you cooking, baby?â you said as you hugged him from behind.
âHmm⊠Morning, angel. Just some eggs and sausage. You didnât have much moreâ
âSounds delicious, thank youâ you said as you moved to sit on the kitchen counter behind him.
âWe have to replace all those photos, babyâ he said as he turned around to look at you.
You knew he meant the pictures you had ripped apart and put back together after your falling out.
âI donât want to. I like them this way. It tells our story. Itâs a little broken but in the end it got put back togetherâ you said and smiled at him.
He smiled and turned back to the stove.
âYou just want to get our kids on your side and have me as the bad guy, huh?â he asked and you chucked.
âKids? Getting a bit ahead of ourselves, no? Letâs not make promises we canât keep. We both have done enough of thoseâ you said and he nodded and laughed.
You felt so happy when he said that but you didnât want to sound too eager. You knew you wanted to spend the rest of your life with him but you still were scared that he would regret this eventually and leave you again.
What you didnât know was that this time, he wasnât going to let you go anywhere, and he was never going anywhere without you.
He was going to spend the rest of his life by your side, earning back every once of trust and love he lost from you before.
He was okay with you still being guarded. He knew you had nothing to worry about and he would prove it to you. Soon enough he will take out the engagement ring he bought after your first date and he will make sure you stay by each othersâ side always.
The ultimate pinky promise.
Itâs here guys and itâs a monster đ I really hope it lives up to your expectations. Iâm still nervous about everything I write! Please let me know in the comments and such if you liked it  đ Thank you for supporting me! CHEERS đ„
Taglist (if you requested specifically): @woofie-nctzen-fanarts @lannadray @cvixmei @feat-sun @cvpidxo @yunjinified @shuahasmyheartffs @jjjzzz @starlight-night0 @rendeciu @momoxxchewz @miniseokminnies @meowmeowminnie @sofix-hc7 @aaniag @shinetogether17 @goodforgyu @sharkipoonis
#jeonghan smut#yoon jeonghan smut#seventeen smut#jeonghan#jeonghan fic#yoon jeonghan#jeonghan x you#yoon jeonghan x you#jeonghan x reader#yoon jeonghan x reader#svt x reader#seventeen imagines#seventeen fic#seventeen x reader#yoon jeonghan fic#vee's writings
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enemies to lovers with paige. buuuuut they were used to be best friends but something happened between them
-đ
Snow Angel: Flurries (1) Paige Bueckers x reader
Summary: How does a class project repair your broken friendship, and how does a friendship turn into something more?
(TOC)
Warnings: unhealthy alcohol usage,
AN: my life is not in shambles anymore! Heres to posting multiple times a week!! I canât believe I'm writing ANOTHER series??? Hello???
January 7th, 2024:
Sitting in the back of your Friday afternoon astronomy class, you gazed out the window, letting your eyes drift across the snow covered campus. You always had a hard time focusing in this class, mainly due to the blonde who always sat a few rows away from you. However, today was different. Paige was missing from her regular seat, which you now knew was because of the basketball game against Gerogetown. Her absence seemed to have a similar effect on you as to when she was actually present. Instead of constantly staring at the back of her head and wondering what went wrong, you stared out the window and wondered over and over where did we go wrong?
(Flashback) October 31st, 2022:
âPaigeeeee, are you ready to go?â you giggled, stumbling into your dorm living room and wrapping your arms around her neck. You swayed side to side, already feeling the buzz of the shots you had taken with Nika a few minutes ago. âJesus, Nika! How many shots did you give her!!â You could hear the concern laced in Paiges voice as she stabilized your hips and unwound your hands from her neck. You melted under her touch, god she was pretty.
You had never been much of a drinker, all throughout highschool when you and Paige would go out to parties she would drink and you would stay sober so you could drive home. However, this year had been hard on you, and lately drinking has been your saving grace after a long day.
You were absolutely hammered by the time the party started winding down. Stumbling around in your cowboy boots and someone elses costume cape, the last thing you remember was clinging to Paiges arm she gently helped you into the back of the Uber.
Waking up the next morning, your head was pulsing and your could already feel the hangover anxiety eating away at your stomach. Squinting your eyes at the light from your phone, you opened your texts. However, you were met with a big paragraph from Nika and a short but tense text from Azzi. Nothing from Paige. Scanning over the texts quickly, you immediately found yourself calling Paige.
Your call going straight to voice mail didn't help the queasy feeling in your stomache at all. ïżŒ
Slipping out of bed, you dragged your feet into the bathroom to quickly brush your teeth and wash your face. The bathroom tiles were icey cold, even with socks on your feet were freezing. As you scrubbed at the crusted on makeup, you racked your brain to try and remember the events of last night. You slid your slides on, making your way out of your dorm and down the hall to Paige and Nikas dorm. Knocking quietly, you felt the anxiety eating at you again. You heard shuffling before the door opened to reveal a clean and practice ready Nika.
âWhat are you doing here?â her harsh tone took you by surprise. You blinked absently at her for a moment, âuhh⊠I just wanted to ask what happened? Last night? And see if Paige is okay, my call to her didnât go through and-â you could see her getting more irritated as you kept talking before she interrupted you. âShe dosenât want to see you right now okay? And neither do I, you really fucked up last night and honestly your behavior lately has been ridiculous. I need to go to practice and I donât want to see you again until you can get your shit together.â Pushing past you, she walked straight into the stairwell, letting the dorm door slam behind her.
More confused than ever, you made your way back to your dorm and crawled right back into bed. You knew you weren't really the same person you were when you met them, but you never considered the change to be a bad thing. If anything you were more confident and more comfterable in your body. So what if you go out a few times a week. Honestly, you weren't even sure if that was what she was talking about. Regardless, you spent the next month trying to fix something you didnât understand. You scoured the texts Azzi and Nika had sent you for any details or clues, but the most you could figure out was that you said something to Paige.
You sent countless texts until yu found out you were blocked. After that you tried emails, Instagram DMs, waiting outside classes, and even tried to befriend the media girl, just for a chance to talk to Paige. However, the blonde was basically untouchable. Between her teammates constantly watching you and her persistence with blocking you on every possible internet platform, you found yourself friendless and worst of all Paige-less.
January 7th, 2024:
You were pulled from your day dream as you heard your professor say your last name â⊠you will be working withâŠâ he dug his hand around in the little bucket on his desk. You assumed this was for another partner project âPaige Bueckers!â shit.
Stepping out of the lecture hall, you felt a similar sense of dread in your stomach as you dragged your feet towards the dining hall. As you walked you pulled out your phone and started drafting a text to send to Paige. Standing in line for your smoothie, you were once again met with the brutal realization that your were stilll blocked. Guess we can just start on Monday?
#wbb fanfiction#wbb x reader#paige bueckers x you#paige bueckers fanfiction#paige bueckers fluff#paige bueckers smut#paige buckets#paige bueckers x reader#paige x fem reader#paige bueckers#paigexreader#paige x reader#paige buecker fanfiction#paige bueckers fic#paige bueckers hcs#paige bueckers x oc#paige bueckers series#paige bueckers angst#uconn wbb x reader#uconn wbb#uconn huskies#uconn womenâs basketball#nika mĂŒhl#nika mihl#azzi fudd#lgbtqia#wlw fanfic#aliyah edwards#enemies to friends to lovers#đ anon
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âšShadowPeach Bio Parents Bio AU Q&A! 28/09âš
Welcome to the Q&A! A space where I can answer related or similar question about the Shadowpeach Bio Parents AU! If you submitted your ask anonimously, then youâll have to check the whole post if itâs answered here, if itâs not, worry not! Your asks might have been used for a future comic or just in the queue~
Anonimo ha chiesto: I am going to ask you to make a difficult decision⊠freenoodles or Shadowpeach
(Freenoodles, in my opinion, is just barely better than shadowpeach. Just because of how gay they are in season five. I mean, look at them and tell me they arenât married.)
Sooo I go with shadowpeach. Freenoodle is like my comfort shit. so many cute and funny shenanigans, for me they are just the married couple who would probably have the healtiest of the relationship. They have teh experience, they went already throught all the "obliviouss-ness" and the "what if they don't love me" yadda yadda.
But Shadowpeach. Ow man. I thought the ineffable housband ship was complex. but god. oh god. how wrong I was. like- these two went from friends, to brothers, to lovers, to enemies, to friends again and to be lover again. They fucked up so much nothing will ever be the same. But they still weak for each other. They are at each other throat and also they know the other in the most intimate way. they are immortal. One of them fucking killed the other. They thought the other left them and betrayed and went both drama to forget (one choose found family, the other murder but anyway-)
Like- WHAT SHIP CAN BE MORE COMPLEX THAN THIS?????
Anonimo ha chiesto: Does MK have a favorite between his bio parents
oUH NO POOR MONKEYS. He doesn't, but he has a favourite depending on the context. Like, for training he prefers Macaque because he explains a lot better than Wukong, but sparring with Wukong is much funnier, but he prefers Macaque scratches and grooming, but he loves Wukong squeezing hugs, etc...
Anonimo ha chiesto: You know, I just realized something. So you know how people in the fandom give Macaque lotus nicknames since his ears kind of resemble lotus flowers. Well since MK has both Wukong and Macaque's ears that kind of makes MK's ears resemble Peace Lilies (which is kind of ironic since MK is the Harbinger of Chaos)
Aww I guess they do look like them!
Anonimo ha chiesto: I may sound a little to mean but Mk din't suspect a thing aout macaques eye? he has multiple forms were his eye is a cross i mean, i would think smt happend to that eye but that just me uu I LOVE UR ART IT MAKES ME WANT TO KMS /POS
He surely suspected something happened to Mac eye but he didn't know how that happened.
@queen-of-purple-roses ha chiesto: I have a question and you donât have to answer it if you donât have too; since weâve seen Macaque feel guilty with how he treated MK in the past, does Monkey King feel guilty about all the dangerous moments that MK was put in, since most if not all of the fighting ends up on MKâs plate and not Wukongâs.
Oh absolutely, the more time passes he feels more and more guilty.
@catbox730Â ha chiesto: Can we get more MK and Red Son please
mayyyyyybe. If you guys behave
Anonimo ha chiesto: It would be funny seeing MKâs dads going to a doctor with him for like getting his wisdom teeth removed or something xD
The parents being extremely worried that something will go wrong while MK is super chill. When the dentist comes out of the operating room they grab him and ask him if he survived while MK is just eating ice cream post-surgery.
Anonimo ha chiesto: Will MK ever fight against one of his parents in a serious battle ? Or be forced to fight one of them ?
mmm. Probably. Maybe in the future they have a discussion. Nothing maybe too serious. But not in the AU plans.
What is Wukongs and/or Macaques biggest nightmare(s) I imagine it would be something like seeing MK die or sacrificing himself again or something like that
I think Wukong is more terrified of being alone. So actually I think it would be worse for him that MK doesn't want to see him anymore.
Anonimo ha chiesto: so who is going to be MKâs hero that he worships ? I donât know if he still sees Monkey king in that way after finding out that he is basically his dad and hearing the past the fight with MacaqueâŠ.
Maybe he wont have any hero. Maybe worshipping someone is not such a healthy thing to do. ( I'm not talking in a religious way of course, I meant worshipping a living normal person)
@emmais333Â ha chiesto: Love your MK art. One question how many fights from Wukong and Mac does MK overhear on accident
He heard the first one (and the past one through the vision) then Wkong and Mac started to teleport far away enough so he wont be able to hear them discuss.
Anonimo ha chiesto: What if MK catches Mac and Wukong in the act, not visually, but audibly, like hearing it when going to flower feuit mountain, finding the monkeys in a pile, all traumatized. Or is it too soon? Do they get drunk enough to not care? Do they even drink?
in the....act? (sorry I don't understand stuff if it's not explicited said, like I can't understand double meanings if that was what you meant)
Anonimo ha chiesto: I LOVE YOUR STORY, REALLY!!!! I reread a lot. So lovely. And the Baby MK, I just want to hug so badly đ„ș ( I think Macaque become Protecting mode and he won't let me do it. ) You draw Baby MK so so so cute. My heart can't handle it.â€ïž Maybe it's a terrifying idea but I would like know your thoughts. I think that Macaque sleeps very quietly, like a man in a coffin. + Macaque fell into a very deep DEEP sleep. (maybe because he was tired from fighting demons to protect Baby MK or get injured or something?) = How do you think Sun Wokung will react?
o my god NO DON'T GIVE HIM AN HEARTH ATTACK (heloses one of their immortalities for having the most horrrendous of jumpscares)
@raspberrymixin ha chiesto: AHHH I LOVE YOU SHADOW PEACH BIO AU OMG ITS TO FREAKEN CUTEEEE AAHH I just melt into a puddle! Love you art and make sure to take breaks- anyway- I find it cute how redson interacts with MK I can just imagine him giving him stuff and little gifts and Mk just confused on why but takes it anyway because of friendship and maybe a sign he's trusting more- but MK is just oblivious to the courting- And maybe redson would ask Wukong, Macaque, Tang or pigsy to allow it maybe? And I also love the slow burn! It's just cute on how Macaque and Wukong make each other blush! Awww it's just to cute! I hope you're doing amazing and have a good night/day
Oh man MK would not be able to read a single clue and just think it's a symbol of friendship or wathever. O my god he really did take from his parents (all of them)
fayeangel25Â ha chiesto: YOUUU UFUFFHH WHEN I GET YOUUUUU anyways, I wanna see wukong asking macaque about the story of him and mac ( after mamacaque storytelled his lil baby mk ) , cuz i wanna see more flustered macaque!!! Also, đ EATING đ THIS đ AU đ UP!!
Hehe he would be a little shy about it. But Macaque is a theater kid so for a bigger audience I guess he would do it.
Anonimo ha chiesto: I feel like Iâm new here. What is Court napping?
Consensual Kidnapping with the intend of flirting with another demon.
Anonimo ha chiesto: How many people want to court MK now that he is a real stone monkey AND the son of Wukong and Macaque ?
mmm. Only people close to MK knows that he's the bio kid of shadowpeach. So for now only Red Son
Anonimo ha chiesto: I bet PIF would try to wait for MK to lose the good guy âphaseâ since she went through that before lmao (forget being good, convert to villainy in the name of love)
Awwww she would!!! But MK is just too good hearted to hurt a fly. (yeah I know he technically has a kill count still-)
Anonimo ha chiesto: MK would obviously call Pigsy "Papa" so what would MK call Tang and Sandy?
I think he would actually call Pigsy "dad" since it's what he calls him that in the show. Maybe it's Tang that gets to be called Papa. I think Sandy is more like an uncle.
@mage-of-words ha chiesto: When will Wukong purpose to Macaque?
WOW- HOLD ON THERE. LET HIM TAKE HIM TO DINNER FIRST.
Anonimo ha chiesto: Omg I wonder if Macaque and Monkey King ever saw MK get really hurt during a battle with a new demon. RIP the Demon bc two feral Monkeys are after them now bc they hurt their kid.
Them to said demon: So you have choosen.... death.
Anonimo ha chiesto: Hear me out, Mac and Wukong in a get along shirt for a day (lost a bet to MK and he planned this too) LOVE YOUR ART TOO ITS SO SCRUMDIDDLYUMPTIOUCIOUS
this is an old ask, sorry for taking so long to answer. But I would say that at this point of the story Wukong would probably be at cloud 9 being squished to super soft macaque all day. Macaque would be like a kitten undecided on wheter he loves or hate the situation (doesn't really likes un-warned physical touch.
Anonimo ha chiesto: Hoi there, I found you again! (Following you on Insta as well because your art is awesome ^^)
Reading your LMK ShadowPeaches comics and they are fun. And now my brain can't help but make up scenarios, one like this one. Oh my, MK is a cute little baby! (^///^) Oh my, MK is a little baby!! ('O_O) Welp, Pigsy is going to kill someone unless Wukong gives baby MK into his arms to calm down and be busy being a dad than a raging Hulk. (:P) Also, I imagine MK accidentally shrinking himself, (Wukong decided to play hide and seek with it only to later on regret it). Wukong would freaking out about it, and Macaque then shook him violently while yelling into his face for losing MK. Then out of Nowhere, Nezha shows up at the door frame and be like 'Um, hey guys. Is this yours?' Points at his nose where tiny baby bean MK was, clinging onto Nezha's nose while giggling.
askjajvbks that's a lovely scene! Unfortunately Nehza can't know yet about MK, but maybe he will...
@lara-legomonkiekid đ:Hey! I'm here to ask permission!Can I make an art Drawing of your Bio parents AU Meeting One of my AU's?Please?(Mostly Suposed to be Meeting One of my OC's!) (Love Your Art and Comics!!!!)(â ââ áŽâ ââ âżâ )(â ââ âąâ áŽâ âąâ ââ )
Yeah sure! just be sure to tag me and link the masterpost of the AU
Anonimo ha chiesto: I find it funny how your shadowpeach bio au came from a joke and now.....wow Your art is amazing
My friend even tried to warn me. BUT I DIDN'T LISTEN
Anonimo ha chiesto: I need Freenoodles talking late at night about MK's new situation Will they be worried? Happy? I don't think Pigsy will take it very well that just when he and MK accepted each other as Father and Son, he is (partly) taken away by his biological dads.
Pigsy was mostly worried that Wukong or Macaque would hurt in any way MK. Both ahim and Tang after they saw how much the 2 care about MK calmed down, still they just hope they don't mess up things.
Anonimo ha chiesto: parenting it not just about having fun with your children, but also making sure there are boundaries even if the child isnât happy about it. So, how would it go if Macaque and Wukong would try to ground MK đ
MK is a little old for being grounded I think but if they were to do it maybe with something like no training for a week or smt. He's still an adult (i know we sometimes forget)
Anonimo ha chiesto: MK trying to prank his parents and wake them up with a loud instrument or sound. MK forgetting he has sensitive hearing đ
reverso uno card
Anonimo ha chiesto: Would wukong or MK help macaque in his drawings if he asked đ or if they tried to help him improve
Awww they would!!! Actually what if this creative side of him was something he kind of inherted from Wukong?
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YOU ASKED FOR REQUESTS SO I HAVE ONEEEE
-
rhea comes backstage with a bunch of adrenaline and decides she wants to go back to the hotel to celebrate đ€ (maybe sprinkle some overstim and handcuffs like she used for nxt)
CUFFS
Rhea Ripley x Reader Summary: Rhea retains her title against four other women, surely there has to be a celebration? Notes and warnings: handcuffs, overstim (slightly??), cunnilingus, strap on, daddy kink, Rhea's a little unhinged?, I have this weird creepy fascination with Rhea's tongue piercing and I'm not sorry, Idk what else. I think I lost my writing charm y'all so bear with me :(
@rhea-ripley these gifs arenât helping man..đ„”
You had the biggest smile on your face as you saw rhea's riptide landing on the three other women that were ready to do anything to even get a look at rhea's title.
Backstage was pretty busy, only few crew members were actually tuning in instead of running around to make sure nothing goes wrong. But you? oh you were staring at the screen like your life depended on it. There was no way any of them would kick out of that even if they weren't on the receiving end of the riptide.
and you were right, as the ref counted to three and her theme hit, you jumped with a scream. Rhea has been..worried, to say the least the past few days, though she tried keeping the 'brutal and fearless' facade but you saw right through her.
The possibility of her losing the title she'd been working for the past three years without even getting pinned ate her up.
Your smile widened as you saw her walking in after the four women who were glaring at you, her black latex gear adding to her absolute sexiness. When your eyes met, you saw your Demi, not Rhea..not Mami (well, maybe that..)..Demi.
she walked up to you, stopping when you met her halfway with a hard kiss to her mouth, almost dropping her title at the sudden action. "hey, champ" you whispered.
"I did it.." she whispered back, hugging her title to her chest and you nodded, "and I wanna celebrate" she bit your ear before walking past you to the showers of the arena.
----
Rhea could barely let go of you long enough to swipe the keycard on the hotel room door, pulling you back into a kiss as soon as she saw the green light indicating the door was opened and pushed you inside.
"f..fuck, Rhea.." you groaned, taking a fistful of her dark moist hair as she buried her face into your neck, her t-shirt hugging her biceps so perfectly you kept squeezing on them.
you were pushed on the cold, comfy hotel bed and closed your eyes, eliciting a tutt from your girlfriend, "don't fall asleep on me now, i thought you wanted to celebrate with me" she coaxed.
Your eyes opened and you spread your legs, inviting her between them with a hum as she still stood next to the bed, "I do..i was having a moment" you grinned.
Both of your suitcases were long forgotten at the door even as you heard the clank of both metal handles as they fell to the floor from their weight and flinched from the sudden sound, making her laugh.
Rhea's hands were all over you like she hadn't seen you in days. She lifted your 'SHE'S MY MAMI' t-shirt with a grin, sticking out her tongue and taking a long swipe from your lower belly to the hem of your bra, husking out a chuckle at the shiver of your body from her tongue piercing tickling your skin.
âS..stop..teasing!â You groaned as she reached your neck, husking out another chuckle in your ear, one of her hands landing next to your head while the other effortlessly unbuttoned your jeans, unzipping them ever so slowly while those piercing eyes
"What is it, bunny? thought you liked my piercing..at least that's what you said the last time it was in your pu-"
"okay, okay.." a huff escaped your mouth, cupping her face as she stared at you with that sly grin of hers, "i get it.." you whispered.
she shook her head, leaning down to kiss you almost too softly, "do you?" her kisses went back to your neck, "hm?"
you said nothing, almost too hazed as her kisses worked you to oblivion even though you weren't even 10 minutes in. She has that effect on you, "I don't think you do" you heard before your jeans were swiftly pulled off your legs, leaving you in your panties shivering from the cold.
She dangled your jeans in front of you before throwing it behind her and finally raising your right leg to get more view of your absolutely soaked panties as you perked up on your elbows with a grin as she ran her fingers up and down.
You were getting a bit cocky as she got on her knees in front of the bed, but all that went out the window she took a long stripe with her tongue through your panties, her tongue piercing making you shiver as it touched you in all the right ways. "oh~" you heard as you threw your head back.
As you looked at her, you saw her eyes rolling to the back of her head, licking her lips. and the fact that she still hadn't taken off her makeup from the PPV makes her look even more feral.
her hands swiftly ripped apart the fabric that stood between her and your pussy, that she's convinced was calling out for her with how wet you were.
she took another stripe and groaned one more time before taking your clit into her mouth, you couldn't remember ever being this sensitive because of her tongue piercing, but when she stuck her tongue out to show off your slick coating it, you discovered she changed the ball of her piercing to this metal, bigger one.
"huh.." you huffed out, of course she did. "you taste so good, princess" she groaned, and before you knew it, her nose was pushing onto your clit while her tongue was all the way between your pussy lips.
"oh god!" you threw your head back as her fingers scratched down your inner thighs, moaning against you.
your hands searched for something to grab before landing on her head and pulling on her hair, her tongue exploring your insides while you writhed under her.
Your legs were already shaking and wrapped around her neck, trapping her in as her tongue mercilessly ate you out.
âGod Iâm so close..â you whimpered, almost pulling out Rheaâs hair, who didnât seem to mind at all and even looked up at you with a smirk. It was almost embarrassing how close you actually were considering the two of you had just gotten started
her smudged purple eyeshadow glistened as she kept staring at you, eating you out like her life depended on it. "can feel you holding back..let go, baby" she mumbled before drilling her tongue back into you. One swipe of her thumb over your clit sent you over to cloud nine with a scream and your legs wrapped around her head even tighter, making her tap your thigh gently so she could breathe.
"S..sorry" you let out with a chuckle and she grinned, crawling upwards to kiss you and you hummed at your own taste on her lips, "don't you worry, baby" she husked out.
It wasn't even a minute later when you heard the clanking of metal and gasped as you looked at her, "Rhea, don't you dar- oh!" you were cut off by her flipping you on your belly so effortlessly.
Before you could catch your breath, your arms were joined behind your back and you felt the cold metal of the handcuffs wrapping around your wrists, âwhat the fuck?!â You yelled, barely able to move.
Both of Rheaâs hand landed on your cheeks, âshut upâ she growled, ânow youâre gonna be a good girl and take my cockâ you heard her zipper being undone, you shouldâve known. Of course she was packing.
You turned your head with a grunt to look at her, seeing her lubing up the familiar black strap of her before spreading the rest of the lube in her hand on your pussy, inserting two fingers to make sure youâre all nice and ready before pushing her tip into you.
âOh love, no amount of lube would be enough huh? Youâre just so tightâ she groaned, continuing to push in until her thighs made contact with your ass.
Your eyes rolled to the back of your head as you felt her girthy strap filling you up, the ache of the handcuffs quickly forgotten as Rhea took hold of your wrists for balance before starting to pound into you in inhumane speed.
âD..donât you lose that key, damn it!!â You yelled, making her thrust even harder to shut you up, âg..god..d..daddyâ you began to slur your words.
She hummed in satisfaction, âthatâs it..I donât wanna hear anything other than âdaddyâ as you come over and over again on my cock you hear me?â She growled, giving one particularly hard thrust to make sure you got it.
âYâŠyeah..yes d..daddyâ you gasped, you were still sensitive from your first orgasm yet sheâs working you up so good your vision blurred.
Her breaths began to falter she continued pounding into you, âg..good..good girlâ she whispered, the base of the strap touching her clit in all the right ways, ây..yeah..good girlâ
Suddenly, her weight was entirely on top of you, not able to stay upright anymore. Her hips continued moving in and out and you were even closer to coming now that you could fear her lips and breath on your neck.
With one last thrust your legs shook under her as you gripped her hands that were still gripping your wrists from behind your back, the chain of the cuffs rattling around âg..god damn it!!â You yelled, your head falling on the bed as your orgasm washed over you.
Rhea kept going however, chasing her own orgasm that was ever so deliciously close. âR..Rhea..c..canâtâ you whined but she shushed you.
âC..come on now, bunny..im so close..come with me. One more time, babyâ
----
"Where did you even get those?" you grumbled, rubbing your wrists after Rhea uncuffed you.
"stole them from under the ring" she laughed, "you're lucky they had the keys attached to them cause I would've used them anyway" she said with a slap to your ass before getting up to fetch you some water.
This womanâŠ
Taglist;
@ara-a-bird @jungwoospeach @neganwifey25-blog @yourmisosoup @cameronsdruthers @dementedtrashcat @1c4ntg3ty0u0ffmym1nd @sweety-jamieluvss @rebecca-quin @mega-met-44 @babybatlover @potatohead20 @charlieg1rl @marcelineormars
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đđđđđđđ đđđđđ.
summary: even though jj refuses to admit his feelings for youâ he doesnât want anyone else to have you.
warnings: cursing
prompt: âwhy are you mad?â âiâm not mad , i just think you can choose better people to kiss.â
The dynamic between you and JJ was undoubtedly strange. Youâd two hold hands , hug for longer than âfriendlyâ hugs usually went for , have sleepovers where youâd cuddle and kiss his cheek. It was like a relationship without the title and without the kissing and sappy lover girl esqe commitment.
But it started to get hurtful. To be the girl that was always there , the only girl that was ever there , and still be seen as nothing more than just a friend. God , how you absolutely hated using the word âfriend.â
There was hookup after hookup , one after the other. JJ would tell you all about them , seeing nothing wrong in confiding his deepest thoughts with his âbest friend.â It was harmless in his mind. If you were too hook up with anyone , heâd want to hear about it. I meanâ itâs not like there were guys lining up for you at the door. You were stagnant and clearly into JJ so most guys didnât bother trying. So while JJ figured heâd be okay with hearing about itâ it turned out to make him feel the complete opposite.
All four Pogueâs were sitting around the fire in John Bâs backyard as you sat there bashfully , remembering your work shift earlier that morning.
It had startedïżŒ like any other dayâ the same old faces that come for the same old cup of coffee. Some were a bit less frequent and the tips were all in the same. Business wasnât necessarily âboomingâ but it was a moderately profitable day. Today had seemed like any other dayâ until it wasnât.
A boy who was not much older than you were had walked in and you swore your heart stopped. There wasnât many people you looked twice at , beings that you suffered with the cruelty of unrequited love. But this one had made you look twice. His hair was shaggy brown , stopping right above his eyebrows. His green eyes seemed kind , the minute he had mumbled âhelloâ to you.
You were surprised he asked for your number. The banter between the two of you , and how charming he was seemed to brighten your morning just a bitâ and since JJ hadnât seemed to be confessing his undying love for you any time soon , it seemed to be the right time to try and put yourself out there.
âNo way you actually gave some random guy your number.â JJ scoffed from the side of you. He wasnât sure why hearing you talk about another guy that way made him feel so. . . mad. Sure he cared about you , but never really paid attention to what kind of care it was. He always chalked it up to knowing you his whole life , declaring you his bestfriend for life. But watching the way your eyes danced amongst the flame with a certain girlish glow , his heart beat faster than he had ever felt before.
You rolled your eyes. âOkay and? Itâs not like you donât give out your number at every boneyard party.â You defended yourself.
âSheâs right.â Pope pointed at her.
âYeah I think itâs sweet.â Kiara gushed , hyping it up more than it really was. She knew JJ had a crush on youâ anyone with two eyes could see that. He was just too stupid to bother realizing it. âItâll be like those movies where the girl falls for the guy from the coffee shop.â She placed a hand on her heart dramatically. âThatâs like , super romantic.â
âI know!â You sighed dreamily. You had always been such a romantic. Reading , writing , watching it. Those silly little cliche book plots coming to life.
JJ rolled his eyes. âItâs not that romantic.â
âWhyâre you being such a hater right now?â You asked JJ , crossing your arms over your chest annoyed. âYou should be happy for me! Stuff like this never happens to me.â
JJ began to think back over the years before realizing that you were right. You were always with him or the other Pogueâs and when there were parties , heâd find some girl to mess around with somewhere before finding you so you two could go home together like you always had. He hadnât remembered the last time you even talked about liking someone. His chest began to ache at thatâ feeling bad. Of course he wanted romantic stuff to happen for you so why did he feel so defensive about it? Sighing , he shook his head of the confusing feelings. âYouâre right , Iâm sorry. What was his name?â
He swallowed down whatever he thought he was feeling , doing what he did best ; ignoring the problem until it eventually went away. Because he couldnât think of you like that. . . The two of you were just friends. You always had beenâ right?
John B and Pope shared a knowing look. You smiled obliviously and continued.
âNate.â
âNate?â John B asked with his face turning red.
âYeah?â
âAs in Nate Montero?â Pope pressed further.
JJ shifted in his seat uncomfortably , looking at you. âAs in the guy who cut my hair in Kindergarten?!â
You covered your mouth as you gasped , remembering how much JJ had cried because some kid on the playground cut a chunk of his hair off. The name did seem familiar to you at the time but you hadnât even remembered then. JJâs face was scrunched up with disgust while the Pogueâs doubled over into laughter. How ironic.
âIt was a long time ago!â You groaned.
âI donât give a shit! That little bastard cut my hair. The hair I had been growing for years.â He threw his hands up in the air. âYou canât go out with him.â JJ said immediately with his nose turned in the air.
âOh yes I can.â
JJ raised his eyebrows at you , taken aback by the seriousness in your voice. Something bubbled inside of himâ something he couldnât quite figure out. Whatever it was , though , he didnât like it. âThatâs like a betrayal!â He said after a few seconds.
âJohn B literally dates Sarah Cameron!â You pointed out , giving him a soft smile of apology when he shot you a look. âSorry but itâs true.â
âShe isnât wrong.â Kiara chirped up.
âYouâre literally friends now!â Scoffed John B.
âYeahâ now.â You pointed out. âBut at first there was hella beef that was deeper than getting your hair snipped in Kindergarten.â
John B groaned. âCan we not bring me up into this? This is between you and JJ.â
âThereâs nothing between me and JJââ you ignored the way your stomach began to hurt at that. The words only fueling your desire to see the guy , Noah , from the coffee shop again. âIâm seeing him.â
âY/N this conversation isnât over!â JJ called after you once you picked up your beer can and started walking towards the house. You didnât bother looking back , throwing him the middle finger as you disappeared behind the doors.
JJâs eyes turned to slits and looked at the Pogueâs with an annoyed expression. âCan you believe her?â
âBelieve what? That she finally finds a guy attractive other than you?â Kiara folded her arms across her chest. âIf you arenât going to be with her then let someone else who wants to be and be happy for her.â
JJ furrowed his eyebrows at Kiara. He glanced at Pope and John B before looking back at her. âY/N/N does not find me attractive.â He waved her off.
âOh please.â Pope muttered under his breath.
âI say we just let this play out.â John B stretched out with a yawn.
âThis could end badlyââ Pope pointed out.
âOr JJ will finally get his head out of his ass.â Kiara snorted.
JJ stood up in front the Pogueâs with an uneasy look. âI donât know what youâre all talking about but the only way this ends badly is if Y/N decides to go ahead with that guy. Heâs bad news.â He huffed , running back into the Chateau.
âHeâs so jealous.â John B smirked while shaking his head.
âVery.â
It had been very tense between the two of you. You were so mad at him for thinking he had any right to tell you who you could or couldnât dateâ especially after years of pining after him , and watching him go through girl after girl without so much as glancing your way. You werenât going to keep hoping for someone to look at you anymore.
Nate had texted you to meet up and you did. It was a nice date , nothing too fancy or mind blowing. Just a simple date. One that ended in a small goodbye kiss on John Bâs front porchâ the place you normally stayed on on the weekends when your parents were out and about , barely thinking twice about you.
You were glimmering when you walked back in. You figured the Pogueâs would be in the backyard like they always were , so you breezed past the living room and into the kitchen for a glass of water. Your thoughts were everywhere because you did like Nate , and the kiss left you breathlessâ but it wasnât like what you thought it would be. Though , none of the past kisses ever were. There was always something missing , making you rethink them.
âOh so the traitor is back.â JJ strolled into the kitchen without looking at you , his tone hard.
This had been the first time in the past two days he bothered talking to you. You figured he was just pissy you decided to go out with Nate after all , despite the silly Kindergarten incident.
âWhy are you mad?â You put down your water bottle and stepped in front of him so he couldnât look away from you.
âIâm not mad. I just think you could choose better people to kiss.â JJ said. His fingers dancing towards the side of her face.
You felt your breath catch in your throat. Pulling your face away from his hand , you sighed. âIf this is about what happened in fricking Kindergartenââ
JJ grabbed your face in his hands , your cheeks hollowing out between your teeth as he did so. You looked at him through fluttering eyelashes , your cheeks burning up. âThis isnât about what happened.â He murmured to you.
This whole conversation had him thinking. That feeling he was feelingâ it wouldnât go away. He had tossed and turned all night that night because his stomach was so sick thinking about you with someone else. He didnât know why it never occurred to him that youâd eventually find someone else. He didnât know why he wasted away all this time being with girls who didnât mean anything. JJ wanted to kiss you. And to hold you like more than a friend. He didnât want you with Nateâ or with anyone. And he felt so bad about never realizing it , and always pushing away those feelings youâd make him feel because he was scared to lose you.
But he couldnât lose you to someone else.
âI donât want you to kiss Nate. . .â JJ breathed , inching closer to your face. Your eyes were wide with shock as you watched him , your heart beating crazily in your chest. He still held your face in her hands , watching your reaction to his words. He only hoped that youâd want to kiss him back.
âJJââ you mumbled. âWhatâre youââ
âI want to kiss you.â JJ told you , swiping his thumb on your bottom lip. âOnly if youâll kiss me.â
Your heart began to race as you studied JJâs face. The crush that you had buried inside of you for years was bursting in your chest , making friends with the butterflies in your stomach. Your mouth went dry as you looked at him. JJ left go of the hold he had on you to simply cup your cheek.
âJJ donât be mean.â You whispered. âIf youâre doing this just because I went out with Nateââ
âThis isnât because of Nate.â JJ cut you off. âNot completely , anyway. It was at the beginning but I couldnât stop thinking about you. His hands on you.â His left hand slithered down to your waist , snaking around it. âYour lips on his.â His other hand pulled at your bottom lip again. âI got jealous.â
You stared at stunned. âJealous?â
âI think I like you , Y/N.â JJ sighed to himself , looking at you sweetly. âAnd I think Iâve always known but I just ignored thinking it would go away.â
You swallowed thickly looking up at him. âDid it?â
âNo.â He shook his head. âIt didnât.â
âThen. . .â you took a deep breath and stood taller , clearing your throat to sound more confident. âThen I think I want you to kiss me.â
With wild eyes , JJ was treading a line he wasnât sure it was safe to cross. But the way his heart burned inside of his chest , his ears ringing and pulse getting fasterâ it would be worth whatever outcome if it meant he got to feel what it was like to kiss you. JJ got closer to you , so close that you felt his breath fan your face. âDo you think or do you know?â
Quietly you weighed your options in your head. There were so many things going through your mind , telling you a million different things. But the way you felt was telling you to kiss him. Finally. After all this timeâ you wanted to make him wait it out like you had for so long. But you couldnât control yourself. âI know.â You took the initiative to connect your lips to his , tired of this waiting game. It was either now or never.
He kissed you back immediately. His hands finding home around your waist. His knees felt weak and your heart felt mushy. As your head tilted to the side , a sense of relief fell over you. This was it. This was why no other kiss had ever compared or felt like it mattered. Because it was JJ , it was always JJ.
He was your missing piece to it all.
JJ was the first to pull away , breathless. He felt crazed as he looked at you with eyes wild. Nothing had ever felt like this with himâ no other girl could ever compare to you.
âLike I said. . . this ended badly!â Pope bursted out , practically falling out into the kitchen. Kiara and John B rolled their eyes at him.
âFinally!â Kiara groaned. âI was so sick of the sappy back and forth shit.â
âI for one , agree.â
You hid your face in your hands embarrassed while JJ smirked triumphantly. âI have a full head of hair and I got the girl.â
âI hate you.â
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roman's girl (roman godfrey x reader)
WARNINGS: 18+, oral sex, major fluff, public sexual activites, Roman is a tit guy what can i say
summary: after Roman finally confesses his feelings, will it be enough to subside your longing for the past? coming face to face with Letha might uncover the truth...
word count: 10,586 (my oh my)
PART 1, PART 2, PART 3, PART 4, PART 5, PART 6, PART 7, PART 8
a/n: i want to thank you all once again for the love y'all have given this series, it's absolutely mind-blowingđ sorry for the wait, I LOVE YOU, and i hope you'll enjoy this chapter!!<33
This was certainly not how I had expected this night to go-- the turn of events truly hit me as Roman sat on the edge of my bed, hair still wet from the shower.Â
I couldn't believe he was my boyfriend. I couldn't believe it at all.Â
On top of everything, he looked gorgeous as always, especially in the moonlight. After he had gotten drenched from the rain, I had given him his sweater back and lent him the only pair of sweatpants I knew would fit him-- I had finally found a use for the pair I had bought the wrong size of at a sale.Â
Roman's green eyes followed me as I moved a few things around my desk. "You seem nervous," he said, a teasing tone about him. "Or are you just upset you couldn't hop into the shower with me?"
Huffing, I did my best not to laugh; I couldn't let him have this one. "My parents are still trying to wrap their heads around me having a boy over, so I think I'd give them a heart attack if they caught us showering together,"
Roman bit his lip, visibly amused. "I still can't believe I'm the first one," he said, tapping his fingers against my duvet. "You sure you haven't had any other guys in here? You can be honest."
"I am being honest," I leaned my back against the wall, watching him from afar. I was afraid that I'd jump him if I got any closer-- he was ridiculously hot with his fresh-out-of-the-shower look. "I haven't had anyone else up here. Ever. Why is that so hard to believe?"
Roman shrugged; "Cause you're cute?"
I didn't blink, staring back at him with a dumbfounded expression. He said it so nonchalantly, as though I hadn't been fighting for him to tell me his feelings for weeks. Now, it was easy. Easy. With a shy smile, I stepped away from the wall. "Really, now?"
Roman's signature smirk returned as he guided me between his legs, his hands kneading my waist as he looked up at me with his big, wanting eyes. "I'm just glad we're talking again," he murmured, his fingers slowly dipping beneath the edge of my t-shirt. "I've missed your snark."
It was impossible not to smile-- I brought my hands to his face, letting my thumbs brush over his eyebrows; "And I've missed you,"Â
Roman hummed, his eyes practically sparkling as his fingers continued to ghost over my skin in trying motions. "How badly?"
"Badly," My hands went up into his hair, watching as he keened against my touch. "You and your green eyes."
"My eyes?" It was clear that Roman struggled not to be visibly flustered-- instead, he opted to lift my t-shirt, leaning forward to press an endearing kiss against my tummy. Every touch, every kiss made me feel beyond adored. "What about them?" He pulled away, smirk still apparent. "You think they're pretty or something?"
"You know very well,"
"What? I know nothing,"
"Roman," Laughing, I leaned down to press my lips against his damp hair. "I don't need to spell it out for you."
He shrugged, his fingers rubbing circles into my sides. "Actually, I think you do. Especially after how you tortured me with spelling shit out for you this week,"
Truly, he had a point. I just hated that he was right. "That's different, Rome, that was a completely separate thing!--"
"Oh, just tell me my eyes are pretty, get on with it!"Â
Taken aback, I watched as Roman did his best to suppress a knowing grin, biting down on his lip as he stared up at me through his brows. Even now, he was painfully handsome-- I nearly melted into my hardwood floors. "Well, now I definitely won't,"
Groaning, Roman seemed to take that as a challenge; in a swift motion, he wrapped his arms around me and tackled me onto the bed. I let out a high-pitched squeak, completely caught off-guard; "You can't just!--"
"Tell me," Roman hooked his arms around my legs after getting in between them, yanking me towards him as he now hovered above me. I could only giggle at the sight of his plotting eyes, realizing my new boyfriend reminded me of the puppy I used to babysit in middle school--Â eager to play.Â
I had to catch my breath after being manhandled like that; "What happened to your manners?"
"Manners?" he echoed, clearly holding back a fit of laughter. "What manners? I was raised in the forest with the wolves, don't you know?"
For fuck's sake-- I nearly lost face. "You can't just toss me around and demand to be praised!"
Roman hummed, the mischievous shimmer in his eyes only growing more bright. "Actually, I think I can toss you around as I please," He leaned down, pressing a wet kiss to my neck. "Or are you planning on fighting me, baby?"
I knew I was done for now. With the nickname, and all. "I could if I wanted to," I was aware that the shake in my voice didn't sound very convincing, and it eventually became glaringly obvious that I shouldn't have said that. I could tell with how Roman smiled against my neck, and the way his arms snaked around me in a tight hold; "I'd like to see you try."
No, no, no--Â I wasn't about to have a playfight with a man standing tall at 6'4. There was no way in hell. "Well, I wouldn't want to hurt your ego when you ultimately lose," I mumbled, wrapping my arms around him. "Let's take it when you've had time to prepare."
That was the last straw for Roman, who finally burst out laughing; I followed shortly after. He propped himself up on his elbows, staring down at me with amusement sparkling in his green eyes; "That's very considerate of you," he said, gently nudging my nose with his. "But this means I can toss you around for tonight, then."
I was about to protest, but I suddenly felt tongue-tied-- something about the idea of being moved around like I weighed nothing, like I was his to boss around, did something to me. Something I couldn't put my finger on. "I, uh... Well-- My parents are next door,"
It dawned on Roman that I was right, and he clicked his tongue against the roof of his mouth with the realization. "Damn it," he mumbled, humming as he leaned down to kiss me.
I sighed against his lips, the usual satisfaction coursing through my veins-- nothing could ever top this. Subconsciously, I wrapped my legs around him, wanting to pull him as close to me as possible. However, it seemed Roman had other plans; he disconnected our sweet kiss, shortly pressing one more against the corner of my mouth before propping himself up again. "But... you can stay quiet, right?"
My eyes widened just slightly-- I wasn't too keen on showing how nervous I was to hear that. "Depends," I breathed, reaching forward to tuck a few strands of his brown hair away from his forehead. "If you're talking about going all the way, I don't think that's the best idea with my parents on the other side of the wall--"
"No, no," Roman quickly interrupted my ramble, shaking his head. "Just a little... something. To celebrate."
My heart rate quickened as I felt my pulse rise; that could mean literally anything.
"Don't look so scared," Roman purred, pressing a short kiss to my lips-- it was embarrassing how little it took for me to unravel. "I'm not going to bite. I'm almost certain."
"What?"Â Almost?
Roman only chuckled, his hands now trailing up beneath my shirt again, ghosting over my skin with the touch of a feather. The softness of his fingers nearly left me shuddering, my lips parting at the sensation as I writhed just slightly-- I had to look away from his proud look, realizing my shirt was now bunched up right under my bra, leaving me exposed.
"I hope that being your boyfriend comes with some perks," Roman said, placing his palms against my waist to see how small I was compared to his hands. "Maybe you won't be so shy to let me touch you."Â
I could only blush-- he wasn't wrong. I still wasn't used to it. I wasn't sure how many times I had swatted his hands away, not yet allowing him to take all the liberties he wanted seeing as we weren't official. But now... everything had changed. Now that I knew where I had him, it felt easier to allow myself the pleasure.
Roman leaned down to kiss up my abdomen, leaving a wet mark behind every touch of his lips against my skin. I held my breath, reaching forward to bury my hands in his hair, feeling my heartbeat pulsing all the way through the tips of my fingers as I grew nervous. I had no idea what plans he had in mind, and whether I wanted him to stop or not.
"I'm surprised you haven't been more aggressive about it," I breathed, finally looking down to meet his wanting, green eyes. "I always expected you to be. You always seemed like the type."
Roman hummed, his fingers tracing the edge of my bra. "I have been, with others," he said, matter-of-factly. "Mostly because I knew they'd let me. Some girls are easy, in that sense."
I couldn't even hold my grimace-- I reached for his hands, holding him back from going any further. "You don't hear yourself, do you?" Propping myself up on my elbows, I tried to scour the thoughts behind his deep eyes, but to no avail. I didn't even care to adjust my t-shirt before I answered him; "It speaks volumes about your view of women."
"My view?" Roman bit his lip, holding back his amusement. "I love women. Where on earth would I be without women?"
I had to hold myself back from kicking him. "I don't think I want to hear this--"
"But most of all, I love girls like you," Leaning down to kiss my shoulder, Roman slid his hands down my thighs and to my knees that were creased over his legs. "But funnily enough, there aren't any girls like you. You're like a singular, vexing entity... and you've got me. You've really got me." His kisses trailed up to my collarbones, and I tilted my head to give him easier access-- I hated how little restraint I had around him, even when he said the most asshole-y things possible.Â
"You've got me. All of me," Roman murmured, managing to lay me back down on the bed, disarming me in an instant. It was impossible not to let my heart swell at his words, and it only got worse as he continued; "I've never had anyone fight for me like you do. Never met someone worth the challenge. So excuse me for not being aggressively inappropriate with you."
I was so stunned, that I simply stared up at him like a dazzled fool as he slowly pried off my shirt. "Well, you-- you have been inappropriate,"Â
"Oh, I'm not denying that," Roman's knowing smirk was on display as he wried his shirt off, now crawling back on top of me. I hummed, unable to hold back the sigh that escaped me as I felt his weight back on me, skin to skin. My hands went back up in his hair, making sure it wouldn't hide his beautiful eyes before pulling him in for an open, loving kiss.
There was a certain heat to it that I wasn't used to-- it was perhaps the finality of our union that allowed us to get lost in it. Either that, or Roman didn't care to hold back anymore. I hadn't noticed he was hard until he pressed further up against the apex of my thighs; my breath hitched against our kiss, my grip in his soon-to-be dry hair tightening as the friction between my legs gave me the relief I didn't know I needed.Â
Roman's lips were always breathtakingly plush against mine, his tongue gently moving in motions that kept me on the brink of clenching my legs around him-- I always felt out of breath after every kiss, especially when we were tangled up like this for longer than what we could be in public. My heart swelled as it beat at his, and I was unable to hold back the hitch of my breath which escaped me as he sunk his teeth into my bottom lip.Â
Roman pulled away long enough to speak; "So can you?"
I would've answered him quicker, had it not been for the fact that he wouldn't let me detach from the kiss that ensued. Humming, I had to give his hair a harder tug, feeling him sigh in a wave of satisfaction before finally allowing me to disconnect our kiss. "Can I what?" I tried, hoping to catch my breath.Â
"Keep quiet," Roman nudged my nose with his as his big, green eyes found mine.Â
"I don't even know what it is that you're planning to do!--"
"You've gotta promise," he said, placing a short kiss against my rambling lips. "I don't want any problems with your parents. It's sort of nice to meet the only people in this town who don't think I'm a scoundrel."
I had to laugh--Â it was true. They certainly had no idea about the reputation my new boyfriend had. "Okay, I promise! But what are you--"Â
I was yanked forward on the bed for the second time tonight; Roman heard a green light, and that was enough for him. I yelped, immediately clasping my hand over my mouth as his eager kisses trailed down my body, his hands now slowly inching toward my zipper.
It all happened so fast-- I nearly bit down on my hand to suppress my nervous trail of noises as Roman discarded my pants with ease. He was almost methodical, planting soft, warm kisses along the inside of my thigh as his fingers trailed up to grab at my waist. He kissed his way up to my center before passing over it, leaving me heaving for air out of sheer excitement-- he now descended over to my other thigh, his green eyes darkening as he looked up to catch my reaction to his teases.
The breath in my chest was a rapid circle, but it caught in my throat as I watched Roman smirk against my skin, taking in the sight of me coming apart as he spoke; "Hold on... Is this turning you on or something?"
I was two seconds away from kicking him. Genuinely. "You're awful," I breathed, burying my face in my hands.
"Really? I usually get quite raving reviews," Roman laughed against my thigh, sinking his teeth into my skin to evoke a noise. That seemed to work-- I let out a squeak before propping myself up on my elbows again, staring down at him with narrowed eyes; "You're already making a mess out of me, do you need to make fun of me too?"
Roman chuckled, pressing an apologetic kiss where he had previously bit me. "Not making fun of you," he murmured, his hold around my waist allowing him to move me even closer to him with a swift motion. Now, his breath was falling hot and heavy right above my clothed sex. "Just trying to get you to talk."
"Talk?" I echoed, watching Roman hook his fingers around my underwear-- I couldn't watch this. I laid back down on the bed with a shaky breath, squirming beneath his grip.Â
Roman hummed; "Yeah," He licked a wet stripe up the crease of my thigh, slowly, along the hem of my panties, which left me shivering. "We both know how much you're going to enjoy this, anyway. You might as well come out and say it."Â
He certainly knew how to build anticipation-- his words had nearly distracted me from the moment he dragged my underwear to the side, now leaning forward to press a kiss against my clit. I gasped, once again clasping a hand over my mouth; this was a sensation I could get used to. "Roman--"
As much as he wanted me to talk, I couldn't. Not when he swept his tongue through the wetness of my slit, not when that action had me bucking my hips up against him, not when it all left me breathless. Roman's big, strong hands grabbed me, pinning me down as he laved his tongue up along my cunt with slow, meticulous motions.Â
This feeling was so foreign-- I really had no idea how to deal with it. I felt my breath catch in my chest, my back arching slightly off the bed as I fought the urge to tremble against him. Even worse, was the fight against making any noise that could give away what we were doing in here. I let out a broken, quiet moan as I reached for Roman's hair, running my fingers through it in a desperate attempt to seek some comfort from the storm of feelings raving through me.
Roman sighed against me, his grip on my hips tightening as he pressed a few gentle, almost sweet, kisses against my clit, which immediately had my breath hitching rather loudly. His eyes returned to watch me, narrowing as a signal; keep it down.
Everything about it made me blush-- I buried my face in my hands, feeling them tremble against my skin. It felt as though my veins were on fire as I fought to keep my breath steady, and I was about to grab a pillow and stuff my face in it before I heard a knock at the door.Â
My eyes sprung open, immediately reaching down to pull Roman away from me as I panicked. However, my new boyfriend had other plans-- his fingers dug into my flesh, eyes boring into mine with burning embers of challenge as he laved his tongue against my clit with repeating firm licks. Something told me this was beyond exciting to him, and it only made my hips buck up against his mouth. No, no--
Another knock; "Sweetie, we're going to bed! Don't stay up too late, alright?"
"I-- Okay!" I hoped they couldn't hear that I was panting, back arched off the bed as Roman nearly made me see stars.Â
"Do you need anything in there?"
No, no, no--Â what was that even supposed to mean? Something told me my parents were nervous about me having a boy over. I could feel Roman smile against me, clearly amused, as I fought the urge to moan; "N-No, we're good!"
A huge part of me wanted to kill him for putting me through this, but the other part of me was too occupied with the familiar building feeling in my body. When I was sure my parents had stepped away, I reached down to give his hair a proper tug to get his attention; "Rome, you can't just-- you can't do that, are you insane?"
I would later regret saying that-- immediately, actually. With a rather evil look about him, Roman propped himself up on his elbows, staring back at me with a look of dark victory. I whimpered at the loss of contact, squirming in his hold. "You should've seen your face," he purred, suppressing a laugh. "You looked like you were going to cum out of fear."
Honestly, I had no idea what that even meant. Not the faintest, whatsoever. But all my plans of asking him or telling him off were thrown out the window the second I realized his mouth was covered in what I could only guess was me. I watched my slick around his lips glisten as the moonlight shone across his face-- that was certainly a sight I never imagined I'd ever see, and one I wish I could frame and pull up for special occasions.Â
Roman's eyes lit up, quickly catching onto what had gotten me so dumbstruck. In a show of power, he slowly slid his tongue along his plush lips with a low hum, which in turn nearly made me gasp. A dark laugh followed, a dangerous smirk on display as he spoke the words that would later haunt my dreams; "You taste divine,"
My grip around his hair loosened, feeling as though my breath was slowly seeping out of my lungs with no control whatsoever. It hit me how badly I wanted his mouth back on me again, how much I wanted him to drive me over the edge to get that sense of relief I craved so, so-- "Well... There's more where that came from,"
Roman's lips quirked into a surprised smile, tilting his head to the side as he watched me with a look I could only describe as pride. "Shit, you're learning," he said, a hint of a laugh apparent in his voice.Â
"That's my girl."
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Being Roman's girl was certainly not something I ever thought I'd be. I had imagined it, sure, played with the idea in my head, but with the premonition that I would never truly know what that entailed-- I certainly didn't think this would be it.
I should've known Roman wouldn't let this night end.
"Was it truly torture?" I asked, my legs dangling off my roof about an hour later. "The whole ordeal where I wanted you to tell me you liked me."
Roman sat beside me, having insisted that he couldn't sleep without getting a proper hit of nicotine after his stressful day. He exhaled a particularly large ring of smoke, shrugging as though that would lift the weight off his next words; "Felt like it,"
"Why?"Â
"Dumb question,"
"Just answer it!"
Roman sighed, eyes fixating on the way I dangled my legs. He reached forward with his free hand, grabbing my hips and adjusting me further back on the roof. "You're going to fall off the roof like that," he mumbled, taking another drag. "Try not to die on me, hm?"
I was getting fed up with the way he was evading my question-- I sent him a look, shoulders slumping. "Rome,"
"What? I need you alive," He held out his cigarette in front of me when he was done, and I grimaced as I took it into my hand. He continued with a knowing smirk; "If you fall off the roof, people are going to think I pushed you. Think how my reputation would suffer."
I rolled my eyes; I was definitely not getting anywhere with this question tonight. "Perhaps," I watched the cigarette rest between my fingers as I held it out in front of me-- I still hadn't learned how to smoke, let alone found the will to. "But I bet you could buy your way out of prison, so I don't think you'd suffer much."
"Don't be ridiculous. If you were gone, I'd be suffering all the time," Once more, it was clear that he hadn't yet registered the weight of his words as he longingly stared at his cigarette. "Are you going to have a drag or not?"
I slowly turned to him, blinking twice. "You did not just say that,"
"What? I've waited for a cigarette break all day!--"
"Not that!" This was getting rather frustrating. I huffed, going back to dangling my legs over the edge of the roof. "That you would suffer all the time if I was gone?"
Roman shrugged, gaze now shifting to stare out on the lawn in front of us; "Of course I would. It would be this week, just all over again for eternity,"
"So, just to hear you say it again, it was torture?"
A groan-- "Yeah... It was," His big, green eyes trailed back to me once more, something unfamiliar swimming in them. "I guess you're the first girl I've ever cared for, so imagine my horror when you made it seem like you didn't care about me back."
I was sure this would break my heart all over again. My lips parted in shock, still not used to the fact that Roman was being open with me after all this time. "I never... I never thought you'd doubt that," I had to clear my throat, no longer meeting his eyes. "After how I've been acting around you."
"Acting like what?"
"Like a fool,"
Amused, Roman reached forward and brought the cigarette back between his fingers before he shifted closer to me. "Honestly? I thought it was cute," He noticed my aversion, nudging me gently before taking a drag. "I think it was the fact that you had no idea what you were doing that drew me in. And your scared little face."
I rolled my eyes, nudging him back. "Now that was torture too! The whole part where you were threatening to tell Letha we fucked in that closet during seven minutes of heaven! You should be glad I didn't succumb to a heart attack,"
"Oh, yeah... that," Roman finished his cigarette, stumping it on the hard materials of the roof. "To put it briefly, I didn't know how else to approach you. You both hated my guts and wanted to inhale me."
"Inhale you?!"Â
With a hearty laugh, Roman wrapped a protective arm around me, leaning down to press a playful kiss against my ear before whispering; "I might just let you if you stay nice,"
I didn't expect my cheeks to burn the way they did-- I was dead sure I was bright red, and I buried my face in his chest to hide it. Roman, still laughing at my embarrassment, kissed the top of my head as he pulled me even closer. "Oh, poor you, am I being mean?"
Huffing, I pouted against his chest; "Yes,"
"Too much for you for one night?"
"... No,"
I didn't need to see him to know Roman was smirking, that mischievous shimmer probably apparent in his eyes. "Good," he murmured. "Because I want to mention one more thing before we go back inside and try not to wake your parents again."
Oh God-- I gathered the courage to look up at him, watching the way his hair lay in soft waves over his forehead. Something told me I should savour the moment before he opened his mouth once more, and I straightened up, watching him follow my every move with intrigue.
I placed a hesitant, delicate kiss against Roman's plush lips, feeling him sigh. I couldn't quite pinpoint why I was still nervous to initiate, why I still wondered if I was doing it all wrong, but I had a feeling I would always be. Especially when it came to Roman. The guy I had wanted for ages, who was currently sitting on my roof, kissing me back.Â
It hit me that it would probably never dawn on me fully-- how could it?
Roman smiled against my lips, our breaths practically becoming one as we pulled away. I kissed him once more, shortly, before reaching forward to bring his hands into mine. "You were saying?"
His eyes, full of affection, watched as I flipped his hands and traced circles around his palms. "Just... the whole ordeal felt like shit, but that the most painful thing was to see you trying to flirt with that Daniel guy,"
"What?" My brows drew together, puzzled. "What is that supposed to mean?"
Roman chuckled, sighing at the feeling of my soft touch. "It's just obvious that you don't know what you're doing,"
"That's nonsense, I do!"
"Nope,"
"I know how to flirt!"
He shook his head rather matter-of-factly; "Nope,"
This was outrageous-- My movements came to a halt, my eyes narrowing as they met his. "Well, I got you somehow, didn't I?"
"Because I let you," Roman intertwined out fingers, the sight of his smirk nearly becoming unbearable. Why did he have to be so handsome, even whilst making fun of me? "Because I wanted to kiss you so bad, it became my every waking thought. But had it not been for that, I'm not so sure."
I gasped, fighting his grip around my hands; I had never wanted to hit him more than now, despite his confession. "Stop it, I can flirt!"
Roman hummed, sending me a look that told me he wasn't sold. "If I remember correctly, your exact words that first time were could you kiss me, then? I've had a really shitty night," He laughed at the memory, squeezing my hands. "Now, what do you say you try again?"
I was sure I was going to melt into the roof and end up as a blob of goo on my lawn. This was horrifying. My cheeks flushed again, feeling myself get more and more flustered. "Set the scene, then,"
Roman leaned forward, pressing a kiss against my forehead-- it almost felt like a push of encouragement. He pulled away, his thumbs stroking over the healing cuts on the back of my hands. "Okay... Imagine we're back in that closet, and you so desperately want to kiss me again--"
"Rome!--"
"Desperately,"Â he whispered, eyes burning with intrigue and challenge as they bore into mine. "So what do you do?"
I held my breath, watching the amused smirk on display across his plush, pink lips. "What do you mean?"
Roman bit down on his bottom lip, trying not to laugh in my face. "Fine, let's do a different approach. I'll teach you how, instead," His gaze locked onto mine, intense and unwavering. "The key to flirting is to say exactly what's on your mind, along with having a decent enough buildup. Do you catch my drift?"
"... Sure?"
"I'll give you an example," Roman let go of my hands, almost as though to reset the scene. He ran his fingers through his hair, the corners of his mouth curving up into his classic charming smile as his eyes remained sincere. "The first part is simple. Just keep your eyes on me."
Simple was an understatement-- my heart beat harder with every breath, unable to let my mind rest while looking at the show of beauty before me, carved by the Gods. Everything about Roman was simply perfect, and I was afraid I'd turn into stone if I stared at him too long. Despite that, I adhered; I gave in to a nod, unable to dim my growing smile.Â
"Then..." Roman's fingers ghosted up along the side of my arm, so light it almost tickled. I shivered, my skin reacting to the subtle contact. His fingers trailed down to my hand, and he gently intertwined them with mine, touching me as though I was made of glass-- everything about it made me feel like I was on fire. "Touch. Very, very simple, but very effective. As you see, your breath is already unsteady."
Fuck. I gulped, giving in to a nervous, soft giggle as my gaze started flickering. "Well, you certainly know what you're doing--"
"Eyes on me,"
A very simple oh escaped me, immediately focusing back on Roman despite how ridiculously nervous I was.Â
He, on the other hand, seemed beyond amused at this point; "And then you say what you want. It's all very simple," Roman toyed with my fingers, running his up along the short length of mine, and the intimacy of it nearly had my breath hitching. After going from not talking at all to this, my brain wasn't as used to his antics anymore-- I so desperately hoped I wouldn't swoon and roll off the roof.Â
"And that is...?"
Roman shifted, his lips now hovering inches above mine; the tension was thicker than ever, swallowing me whole. The playfulness of his smirk faded, his eyes rounding out as he realized the weight of his words before finally saying them; "I want you to kiss me just like you did a few minutes ago... Kiss me like you could possibly love me,"
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I never thought that being Roman's girl would bring me such peace. We had been together for a week now, and it felt like the best week of my life; a big part of me was sure it actually was.
My fall-out with Letha started to feel worth it-- if she couldn't accept that I was happy with Roman despite him being her cousin, then that was her loss. Why shouldn't friends be happy for each other?Â
Because honestly, I couldn't remember the last time I had been this happy. Especially now that I was sitting in the passenger seat of Roman's car on a lazy Sunday, the wind blowing through my hair as he bickered with Peter about the songs playing on the stereo. I could only laugh, a bright smile on my face as I kicked back, adjusting my sunglasses as the bright rays of the day shone down on us.Â
"This song sucks," Roman grumbled, clearly regretting giving his best friend Bluetooth access to the stereo. "Since when were you so into Britney Spears? Do you have nothing else you can play?"
Splaying out in the backseat, practically lying down, Peter crossed his arms behind his head as he chuckled; "Maybe I like that you don't like it? And you're a psycho if you don't enjoy this one, it's hit me baby one more time! Put some respect on the name,"
"Dude, you sound like a thirteen-year-old girl,"
"A thirteen-year-old with taste, at least!"
I couldn't help but laugh-- the one thing I had learned about Roman, was that the gang of boys he usually hung out with had nothing on his friendship with Peter. Something about the way they were annoying each other showed me all I needed to know. My gaze went back and forth between them, grinning from ear to ear. I could get used to this.
Roman rolled his eyes, switching lanes with ease. He was damn handsome behind the steering wheel, tapping his fingers along with the rhythm of the tune despite being vocal about his disdain-- the upturn of his nose, the way he quietly chewed his gum with no care in the world, everything about the sight of him and his styled brown hair made me feel beyond lucky to have his attention, even for a moment. So, when he placed his hand on my thigh, I had to bite down on my lip and look away; it was all too exhilarating.
"Could I pick the next song?" I asked, turning to Peter. I noticed he had already closed his eyes, basking in the sun as he nodded and handed me his phone.
Something told me Roman was relieved to be saved from Britney Spears-- he squeezed my thigh twice, making me giggle as I scrolled through Peter's playlist. When I finally found the perfect song, I tried to hide my smile in the palm of my hand as I held back any signs of my brewing laughter.
The second the new song sounded through the stereo, it became impossible to hold back my evil joy as Roman let out the loudest groan I'd ever heard from him; "For fuck's sake!"Â
I succumbed to my laugh, hearing Peter roaring from the backseat at my song of choice. I turned to him, accepting his high-five. There was no way in hell I'd give anything up for the look on Roman's face right nowâ the way he rolled his eyes, sending me a quick, sharp glare; "Traitor,"
"I like Britney!" I tapped my fingers against the hand he had on my thigh, humming along to the music. "And oops, I did it again is a classic!"
Roman shook his head; "The both of you are awful,"
"We're not!" Peter protested, sitting up in his seat. "We just have superior music taste. And also, when are you going to pull over?"
"Never. Pee your pants, dipshit,"
"Yeah? I will hold your girlfriend hostage and key your car if you don't find a gas station in five minutes,"
Groaning once more, Roman rolled his eyes and switched lanes, ready to get off the highway. "You keep her out of this," He glanced at me, the spark in his green eyes unmistakable, before meeting Peter's gaze in the rearview mirror. "And you better stay away from my fucking car, I just got it repainted!"
Oh, it was impossible not to smile. Impossible. Even despite the two of them getting on my nerves, I couldn't deny that Roman was making up for my lack of friends by surrounding me with people. I wasn't sure whether he meant to or not, if it was subconscious, but I felt taken care of, even in odd company.
Roman cared for me. He was taking care of me.Â
... In his own weird way, of course.
When we finally arrived at the nearest gas station, Roman's car still intact and I not held hostage, it didn't take long before Peter jumped out of the back and headed inside, giving us a moment alone.
I watched Roman fix his hair in the car mirror, and I wasn't sure whether he realized he was still humming hit me baby one more time. With a bright smile on my face, I reached out for his hand, giving it a short squeeze to get his attention. "I'm gonna run inside and get some water, do you want anything? Juice, a soda?"
My breath nearly got knocked out of me as Roman's eyes met mine, the green in his eyes more intense now than ever as the sun laid itself in soft strokes over his face. "Maybe a beer?"
"Rome, you're driving!"
"Oh, cry me a river," Roman leaned over to press a short, soft kiss against my lips. "Get me a cola or something, then."
I hummed, a faint blush apparent on my cheeks. Why did every kiss, every touch, get me so giddy? Still, I tried to keep my composure-- "Could you at least say please?"
Shaking his head, Roman reached for his wallet; "Nope. But I'll pay,"
"Just say it nicely, that's all I ask of you!"
He handed me his card, sending me a look which said don't argue. "You know the code,"
"I-- Ugh, just say it!"
"What do I get for it?"Â
Calculated fucker. "Fine, I'll blow you later!"Â
He grinned-- "There you go," Roman took my hand into his, pressing a kiss against my knuckles. Something told me he was simply hiding his look of victory. "Please get me a coke, and get yourself anything you'd like. Alright?"
"Alright," Despite my mind racing from the fact that I didn't know how to do what I had just promised him, I leaned over and gave Roman a sweet kiss on his cheek before I got out of the car. As I made my way to the gas station, I turned around just at the right time-- I caught the moment he tried to wipe the smile off his face with no success, clearly flustered as he failed to keep his composure.
It felt as though my hair was burning after being in the heat for this long, and I was happy to escape the sun when I entered the building. The cold breeze of the air-conditioner hit me, making me sigh in relief as I strolled along the endless aisles, looking for the perfect treat for the rest of my drive.
My head was still buzzing from the rush of being with Roman like this. The way he smiled at me, the way he leaned one arm out the window as he drove his red Jaguar down the highway-- it was perfectly picturesque. So as I reached for a chocolate bar with a wide grin on my face, I didn't expect it to get wiped away within the drop of a second.
On the other side of the aisle, a familiar pair of green eyes stared right back at me with a fright I hadn't seen in them before. Letha seemed to be holding her breath, waiting for me to speak, but instead, I froze with my hand still lingering on the chocolate-- we both stood still for so long, I was afraid the heat of my palm would melt the bar.Â
Letha's gaze moved from mine and down to my hands; I watched her eyes round out at the sight of the cuts on the back of my hands, the ones caused by her new best friend Jasmine. "Your hands," she breathed, clearly taken aback. I remembered overhearing Letha's conversation with Roman, where it had been unveiled that she had no idea I had been injured at all. Suddenly, all I could remember was the hurt in her voice as she continued; "I didn't think they would be so... gosh, I hoped Roman was exaggerating."Â
In the midst of my shock, I snapped out of it as a wave of anger washed over me. I was standing face to face with the girl who had made my life a living hell at school, and I no longer felt anything else than pure resentment. In a flash of confidence, I grabbed the chocolate bar and walked off without saying a word, not feeling the need to respond.Â
I should've known that wouldn't be the end-- "Hey, wait!" Letha followed on the other side of the aisle, her worried eyes never leaving me. "We need to talk, I can't do this anymore!"
As I reached the end of the candy aisle, our lanes intertwined. Groaning, I turned on my heel and started my march toward the beverages, hoping to shake her off. "I can spare you the hassle and tell you I have about three visible hickeys. Kindly throw up outside," In an attempt to keep calm, I started scouring the selection of drinks.Â
Letha quickly caught up to me, putting her hand over mine as I reached for the door to the beverages. "I don't care," she tried, eyes more sincere than ever. "I want you to know how sorry I am about you getting hurt. I never wanted it to go this far."
In an act of defiance, I wried my hand out of hers. "Fuck you," I sneered, forcing the fridge door open. "Sure, I got physically hurt, but I've been hurting for more than a month without you giving as much as a shit about it!" Reaching for a cola and a bottle of water, I turned to meet Letha's gaze. "Instead of shutting me out, you could've listened to me like you promised to when I told you about everything with Roman. Instead, you isolated me, made me a target, and now you expect me to want to talk to you?"
Letha's eyes were swimming in tears at this point, freezing to her spot. "I never wanted this for any of us! I'm so sorry!" She did her best to collect herself, but her voice was on the brink of breaking; "I never wanted to lose you in all of this, I miss my best friend! Do you not miss me too?"
I was ready to turn around and leave, but I stopped in my tracks. What?Â
... She missed me? And she was apologizing?
Just as I was about to answer, I felt a familiar presence come up behind me. Judging by the sound of the heavy boots, I pieced together that it was Peter. "Letha?" He seemed caught off guard by her presence, but his hands still reached for the items I was holding, indicating that we should get going.Â
Something about this was off-- my eyes darted back and forth between them, watching Letha's pupils dilate in what I could only guess was shock; what else could it be? "Peter? What are you--"
"Road trip," he said, tone stern as he cut her off. Peter grabbed my shoulders, now ushering me out of the way and towards the cashier.Â
I became a rambling mess, uttering a few incohesive words as I looked back at Letha. What had just happened? Peter's grip on my shoulders was the only thing stabilizing me as I somehow managed to pay and get out of the gas station. He opened the door to the passenger seat, sitting me down as he rolled his eyes at the sight of his best friend fixing his hair in the rearview mirror.Â
My guess was that I looked shell-shocked, because Roman immediately looked quite concerned as he exchanged a look with Peter. He reached forward, tucking a strand of hair behind my ear. "Are you having a heat stroke? Why do you look so fried?"
Peter answered for me, plopping himself down in the back seat; "Letha," he mumbled, putting on his seatbelt. "She was in there. Didn't catch the convo, but your girls seemed to be going at each other's throats."
With a groan, Roman ran his hand down to grab mine, intertwining our fingers. "What did she say?" he asked me, giving my digits a small squeeze.Â
I shook my head; "Nothing. Let's just get out of here,"
I didn't want to tell him how hard it hit me to hear that Letha missed me and that she was finally apologizing. That it was churning my heart, grinding all the molecules of my anger down into a single river of sadness. What made everything worse, was the look on Roman's face; something told me that he knew, and that he most certainly didn't want to get into a push-and-pull situation with Letha. Who would win in that situation?
I was relieved when he finally started the car-- I hoped not to think about this for the remainder of the day.Â
... Was there actually hope for reconciliaton? I wasn't sure whether I was ready for that or not, but it was still killing me.
Killing me.
ïœĄïŸâąâàšâĄà§ââą ïœĄïŸ
After dropping Peter off at his place, Roman parked somewhere along my dimly lit street as the moonlight shone down on us, not yet wanting me to leave. He glanced over at me, watching me picking at my nails in nervous habit as my mind raced; even after a long day of fun, I couldn't forget my encounter with Letha. The look in her eyes, the fact that she wanted to finally bury the hatchet-- no, it was impossible to shake that.
Roman shifted, not giving away his true feelings about the ordeal as he scanned the way I shut down. It was clear that he was thinking rather hard about what to say next, clearly not wanting to say the wrong thing. However, something told me he was annoyed as he spoke; "Is it not enough for you?"
My brows drew together in confusion, meeting his gaze. "What are you talking about?"
Roman shrugged; "Us. This,"
"What?" I sat up in my seat, eyes widening. This was certainly not a conversation I thought we would be having a week into our relationship. "I'm confused--"
"If you're so easily swayed by Letha, it can't be enough. Right?" Roman's gaze hardened, and it didn't take long before I recognized this was a pattern-- the second he felt his position was threatened, he simply got angry. "I'm trying not to be pushy about sex, I'm being open about my feelings or whatever, but you want to run right back to her!"Â
I blinked twice, baffled. "I'm not sure I want to, but what does it matter to you?--"
"You really think she'd be okay with us being together if you become friends again?" Roman's grip on the steering wheel tightened as his jaw clenched, clearly bothered by his next thoughts; "She'd make you choose."
My heart hurt-- I didn't expect him to make such conclusions. Still, I gathered my thoughts, realizing I was witnessing one of his fits of panic that he didn't know how to put into words; "Okay, you know what? You taught me a little something a week ago, and now I'm going to see if it works. Look at me, please,"
Roman didn't budge; instead, his grip around the steering wheel tightened, and I saw he was holding his breath.Â
"Rome?"
A hum.
"Look at me,"
Reluctantly, he finally did. His chest rose and fell in sharp moves, clearly trying to collect himself and his impending outburst of anger. Like this, Roman was more handsome than ever-- something about how dark he got weirdly made my head buzz.Â
Still, I knew I had two more steps to go; I reached out to brush the strand of hair lying over his forehead, stroking my fingers through his dark locks in an attempt to bring him back down to earth. Roman's jaw remained clenched as he met my eyes, still not letting his guard down despite his pupils widening at the sight of me.Â
I ran my hand down his face, stroking my thumb across his cheek as I watched him keen against my palm. It seemed to be calming him down, and I let out a long sigh of relief to see it working.Â
Now, to the last part-- "Then I just have to say what I want, right?"Â
Roman seemed to catch onto what I was doing as he gave in to a small nod. The usual shimmer in his eyes returned, intrigue brewing in his green gaze; "That's how it usually goes, yeah,"
I did my best not to laugh-- something about the way he held his breath, waiting for my next words, was so ridiculously cute. Roman Godfrey, the man of the hour, the menace, my hallway crush for as long as I could remember, was nervous. A puddle of anxiety in my hands.Â
And he had no idea.
"You think I went through all this shit just to throw you away?" My fingers gently trailed over his softening face, watching his every move. The weight of my next words was something I felt leave my chest the second I finally spelled them out; "You've got me, Roman. All of me. Nothing Letha ever does or says will change that, and she knows that. You have nothing to be nervous about, seriously."
What ensued caught me off guard like never before-- I didn't expect Roman to lean forward and kiss me the way he did, with passion that nearly took my breath away. The usual warmth swelled in my chest as his plush lips pressed against mine, and a mix of the night air and his touch made me shiver beneath the moonlight. It started out light; his hand trailed up from my neck, twisting into the nape of my neck, bringing me closer with a burning need I didn't see in him very often.Â
Then it hit me that I hadn't ever put much thought into how hard it was to make out in a car. However, Roman was a man of many solutions-- I let in a shaky breath as our lips disconnected, but it was quickly knocked out again when his arms wrapped around me and lifted me out of my seat. I let out a loud squeak, instinctively clinging onto Roman as he somehow managed to sit me on top of him in the driver's seat, laughing against the kiss he pulled me into.Â
My heart was racing, arms still draped around him in a protective hold as he pushed back the steering wheel as much as he could, downright giggling against my lips. I had never kissed someone while having a laughing fit, but as I joined in on Roman's, I realized how much of a high it was.Â
"Your face," he laughed in between playful nips, hands trailing down to grab my waist.Â
I rolled my eyes, grabbing a fistful of his hair to pull him away and get a proper look at him as he grinned up at me. Had it been up to me, I would've frozen this moment and kept it tucked away in my freezer, knowing it would never melt away there. Roman's eyes were illuminated by a nearby lamp, the orange hues mixing in with his green, making them a yellow-y brown; almost the same colour as his hair which was soft to the touch today, and not gelled up like usual. The way he looked at me with joy, the ultimate show of affection, nearly made me gelatin in his arms.Â
Oh, and the laugh-- the fucking laugh. The gorgeous, deep laugh, which would definitely etch itself into my mind, ready to be replayed on bad days.Â
I got my hands out of his hair, cupping his face as I cocked a brow; "Yeah, what about my face?"
Roman sighed, his signature smirk on display. I expected him to say something either dirty or stupid like the usual, but instead, he opted to take my breath away once more with the following-- he went quiet, eyes rounding out as he took the time to scan my every feature, every movement, as though I was a beautiful, rare diamond; "It's gorgeous,"Â
My lips parted, staring back at him with a dumbfounded expression. I was ready to say something, pull myself together, until I realized I didn't have to anymore-- Roman was my boyfriend.
Roman was my boyfriend.Â
I didn't have to pull myself together. I could go absolutely mad, if I wanted to.
... And somehow, I found myself wanting to drive myself to complete and utter madness.
I had no idea what came over me when I placed my hands on each side of his face, slowly driving them up into his hair as I pressed my lips against him in an open, desperate kiss. Roman hummed (was that a moan?), his hands trailing down into my back pockets as he pressed me further up against him, none of us giving a damn about the fact that we were parked on a street and that anyone could walk by at any moment despite how deserted the neighborhood was so late at night.
It took a turn as Roman sunk his teeth into my bottom lip, eliciting a small whimper. The fingers I had in his hair tightened around his dark locks as a need for friction built between my legs, and when Roman drew my hips forward to meet his, I didn't fight-- instead, I was quite sure IÂ moaned.Â
My cheeks burned with the realization, but I didn't have much time to think about it. I was drawn further into a state of arousal as he got his hands out of my pockets, his big hands grabbing my ass properly as his hips bucked up to meet mine through our clothes.Â
Fuck, fuck, fuck-- my brain was in such a state of overdrive, I didn't think twice before lightly sucking down on the tip of Roman's tongue, feeling him let out a shaky breath against me.Â
The gentle breeze of the night poked at my clouded mind, reminding me of where we were, that I had a curfew to get to. I disconnected our lips, hearing Roman sigh; "We shouldn't," I tried, shifting as I pulled my jacket over my shoulder-- it was in this moment that I realized that he was hard. My heart fluttered with delight as I realized I could feel his cock swell with growing interest, feel him keen against me, separated by just a few layers-- my eyes widened, meeting his. Something told me it was a little too late to back down now.
Roman hummed, his breathing slowing down as he grinned up at me; "Yeah, you might be right... But why do the right thing when you can do the fun thing?" His fingers reached for my jacket, almost taking it off again. When my skin was exposed once more, he leaned forward, gently pressing his lips against my collarbones.Â
I was going to push him away, remind him of our surroundings-- but as I felt Roman swipe his tongue along my skin with every kiss, I couldn't. Every touch, every kiss, made the buzzing in my mind louder.Â
My breath hitched, fingers running back up into his hair as his kisses trailed further down my skin. It felt as though my hands were on fire, arousal burning through my veins as my heart thumped loudly in my chest. I wanted him so bad, I didn't think twice before I rolled my hips down against his hard cock, hearing Roman let out a grunt before he finally took the liberties to force a repetition of my actions with his hands on my ass.
This was bad; so, so bad. I knew I was done for when I shifted, the pressure against my clit only dulling my mind further. The slight tremble that appeared in my knees made me reach for the seat, no longer feeling steady; "Rome," I tried, feeling my desperation grow as his hungry kisses trailed down my shirt.Â
"Shh... Just a little more," Roman's hands pressed against my back, pulling me flush against him. I nearly let out a whine as I realized he was dangerously close to the hem of my bra, and I had to take a quick look around the area to make sure no one was seeing this. "Roman--"
"You have no idea how long I've thought about having you like this," he said, voice low as his hands slowly moved up my body. "You were always so against the idea of fucking in my car... Makes me want to show you how good it could be."
I felt my face redden, burning with a mix of shock and intrigue. In fact, I was so out of it that I barely registered the moment Roman's hand reached for my bra, pulling one cup to the side to grab a handful of my chest--Â
Squeaking in shock, I didn't have time to push him off before he leaned forward, licking a wet stripe up my hardening bud. My face was practically on fire, squirming in his grip as a shaky moan escaped my lips.
"You're so pretty," he breathed, eyes meeting mine to keep my gaze locked on him as he placed an open-mouthed kiss against my breast. My breath hitched, not yet used to this feeling-- it felt as though I was getting electrocuted all the way down to my clit with every flick of his tongue.Â
This was definitely the most risky thing I had ever done in my life. I never thought I would be doing anything like this on an open street and that I wouldn't be fighting it. Nonetheless, I let out a broken moan as my hands went up into his hair, my fingers twisting further into Roman's dark locks as his lips wrapped around me once more, sucking me in between his lips.
As the tremble in my legs worsened, I pulled him away from me, watching as his half-lidded green eyes shimmered with lust. "Christ," I breathed, quickly pulling my top back into place. "I'm no better than your cheerleader whores, at this point."
Roman clearly didn't expect me to say that, laughing as his hands now rested on my hips. "I haven't even done anything yet," he cooed, tracing circles into my jeans. "But actually, this reminds me there was one thing you told me you'd do..."
My eyes widened as he reached forward to clasp his fingers around my wrists. Of all the things I thought he'd do, this was certainly not it-- I felt my breath hitch once more as Roman pressed my trembling hands against his clothed, hard cock.Â
Oh God. "Not here!" I tried, hoping to slow down the beating of my heart. "I can't--Â Fuck, Rome, I wouldn't even know what to do!"
Roman bit his lip, mostly to not laugh right in my face. The amusement in his eyes told me all I needed to know; "You think I haven't taken that into account? I know you haven't done this before,"
"And you're still up for it...?"
Roman's eyes widened, looking rather bewildered. "Are you kidding me? I'd be up for it during a fucking terrorist attack, believe me,"
That was not an image I wanted to have in my head. Oh, Roman and his antics-- "Shut up," I mumbled, feeling myself grow more anxious. Anyone could walk by right now, and my parents were definitely wondering where on earth I was.
"You shut up,"
I gasped, my eyes narrowing at the sight of Roman's grin; "Hah! Make me,"
"Sure," he said, shrugging. "You might moan a little, though."
I was tempted to freeze up until a reflex I didn't know I had kicked in-- shifting, I put my hand on his thigh to support myself as the one he had put over his hard-on reached for his zipper. "Don't fuck with me, Godfrey. I might just retaliate,"
I watched all the air in Roman's lungs seep out through his mouth as his green eyes burned into mine, a look of surprise streaking across his face which quickly morphed into intrigue. "Shit," he breathed. "I've broken you already, haven't I? Who are you, and what have you done to my girl?"
I couldn't help but smile-- this was something I could certainly get used to. "Breaking me is going to take a lot more, don't you worry,"
"Really, now?" Shifting, Roman's face was mere inches away from mine. The night air flowed through his hair in a soft breeze, his parted lips looking more enticing than ever-- I longed for them to be kiss-swollen once more. He gently nudged his nose against mine, hovering to drag out the tension as I held my breath in anticipation for his next words; "I'm dying to put that to the test... Can't wait to see you all pretty and broken, whimpering while I fuck you."
I hadn't been so flustered in my life-- I struggled to catch my breath, succumbing to a nervous laugh. Roman was so damn intense, I didn't know how to recover. To put the cherry on top, I had subconsciously tightened my grip around his clothed hard-on, and I heard him let out a shaky breath against me.Â
I couldn't look at Roman for too long-- I was afraid I'd melt. The green in his eyes swallowed me, drawing me in, enticing me to say yes, but I knew I couldn't. Not right now, at least. Instead, I forced myself to remember that we were on an open street once again, and that I really needed to get home soon.
It was too early for all of that, anyway.
"Oh, you and your dirty mouth," I breathed, leaning forward to press a short kiss against his keening lips. My hands lifted off him, resting at his shoulders. "For someone that insists they're not pushy about sex, you sure talk a lot about it."
Roman sighed, catching onto the fact that I was ready to leave. "I said I'm trying. But I'm open to the possibility that I might be failing," His grip on my hips tightened, pulling me closer with a pout. "Don't leave just yet. Stay."
If it had been up to me, I would've stayed in this moment forever. "My parents are going to kill me," I said, pressing another kiss against his lips, feeling him smile against me. "We have school tomorrow, anyway--"
"Stay," Roman's arms wrapped around me in a strong hold, engulfing me in his seductive cologne. "Just kiss me a little more, and I might consider letting you go in about three hours or so."
I rolled my eyes, giggling against him. "Come on, you're not making it easy for me here!--"
"Exactly,"
"Rome, I--" As my phone rang in my jacket on the passenger seat, I let out a sigh of relief; "Okay, that's definitely my parents calling. I'm about to be grilled like a turkey at Thanksgiving, thank you very much!"Â
Roman huffed as I placed a kiss against his forehead, letting go of me with a disappointed snort before he leaned over, handing me my phone.Â
I did my best not to get too swept up in his puppy eyes, knowing I was two seconds away from staying in the car with him all night. However, I knew it would definitely not end well for my sanity. So as I turned my phone around, ready to answer my parents and start explaining why I was so late, I froze when I saw who the actual caller was.Â
Roman's demeanour immediately changed-- something told me he already knew. Still, he asked; "Who is it?"
Fuck.Â
Fuck, fuck fuck!
"... It's Letha,"
(a/n: if you've come this far, thank you so so much!!! here's PART 1, PART 2, PART 3, PART 4, PART 5, PART 7, PART 8 if you want to check them out!!<3333)
just tagging a few people that seemed interested!!<3:
@mentallyscreamingsincebirth @putherup @corawithfanfiction @vladsgirlxx
@iamaslytherin0 @sexualparkour @the-universe-is-complicated @heavenly-bratt
@lafemme-nk @namiusedbubble @useyourwandbro @strmborns @literally-lani
@virgosapphire79 @star-girl-04 @veyzus @ddipotassium
#roman godfrey#hemlock grove#roman godfrey x reader#x reader#bill skarsgÄrd#fanfiction#oneshot#bill skarsgard#angst#toxic relationship#highschool!au#vampire x you#peter rumancek#hemlock grove fanfiction#bruhhh letha is killing me here#i'm doing this to myself tho#letha godfrey
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Lovers and Love.
pairing: Joel Miller x reader
word count: 2.4k
warnings: pregnancy (if you don't like don't read), descriptions of morning sickness, anxiety, angst, illusions to sex
a/n back to your regularly scheduled program i dont wanna hear it i donât write pregnancy stories often (i say this with a modern day au pregnancy joel fic in my drafts). literally my third in a year (back during my wattpad days I would solely write pregnancy stories. ew). i really like how this turned out though, the length is good
summary Y/N tries to hide that she is pregnant and Joel finds out
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read time: 8 mins 47 seconds
âWhatâs filling that pretty head of yours lately?â Joel asked between each chop of the wood.
âOh, nothing.â you lied.
âYou looked mighty focused on that rock just a minute ago.â
âBetter than looking at you chopping wood,â you scoffed sarcastically, getting Joelâs scent off your trail.
What you were really thinking about? The last time you got your period.
Each swing of the axe made you cringe. You begged to think of something different, but the thought had filled your mind for the past few days when your expected period didnât arrive.
You and Ellie had swept out an old convenience store about a month ago. Ellie found some period products and gave some to you and it made you think.
When was the last time you got your period?
Ever since you were a child you dreamed of being a mother. Raising a family with someone you loved. But when the world fell to cordyceps, that idea was quickly left in the past with every other hope and dream you ever had.
This was no environment for an adult, let alone a child. A baby was an absolute no. The constant crying would attract any creature in a mile radius. It wouldnât get the proper nutrition babies needed to grow. And giving birth in this world was a borderline death sentence.
And your babyâs daddy? The man you had been hooking up with on the low.
He was meant to move the cargo. You assisted the cargo and made sure it behaved.
It wasnât your fault when Ellie was captured by David and you and Joel had to hide out in a shed one night alone.
Or maybe that time Ellie went out hunting.
Or the time Joel had to cover your mouth and tell you to shut up because she was asleep in the next room.
You knew Ellie wasnât a dumb kid, but you were just praying she wasnât that smart.
But pregnancy tests were nonexistent. Most of them you assumed would be expired. Can pregnancy tests even expire? And condoms, come on. It would honestly be funny if Joel pulled one out as a joke. There was no way any of those were still in use at least five years after the breakout.
âY/N!â Joel yelled, catching your attention. The volume of his voice caught you off guard. âWhatâs wrong with you, seriously?â he scoffed, flipping his axe in his hand.
Brushing him off, you helped him carry wood into the small abandoned cabin you had found for the night.
Ellie was sitting on the matted couch with her leg resting on top of the coffee table in what was left of the living room. If you squinted, it looked almost normal. No clickers, no cannibals, just a normal world, a normal Ellie sitting in a normal house.
You needed to quickly get the idea of a normal world out of your head. It wasnât here anymore. You couldnât hope and dream like you used to. It wasnât the time for fantasy land anymore. This was serious shit.
âThank god, I am fucking freezing!â Ellie announced, rubbing her hands together.
Joel dropped his few planks of wood on the ground. âIâm gonna go look for some blankets and supplies upstairs. Ellie, help Y/N with the fire.â
Ellie groaned and slammed her feet on the floor one by one from the coffee table dramatically. You could already imagine the eye roll she had just given him.
You began arranging the logs into a nice stack. Joel had cut enough to easily last you through the night and maybe into the morning.
âYou doinâ okay?â Ellie asked, searching through her backpack for the matches. âMhm,â you lied, watching her scratch the match and throw it in the dry fireplace.
âJoel said something about-â âIt doesnât matter what Joel said.â you cut her off. Ellie rested back on her legs. She was very obviously disappointed you wouldnât tell her what was wrong.
Was it really that obvious?
âWhat did I say now?â Joel asked from the banister. He was carrying blankets in his hands he found in the bedrooms. He had a big smile plastered on his face that only widened when your eyes met his.
Just imagine how he would be. Carrying down blankets for you and your child to make a fort together. Making popcorn and watching a movie as the sky became dark. The child would fall asleep in your arms and the two of you would stare at each other and appreciate the world, the life you made together.
You broke eye contact with him and shook your head.
How could you let yourself think like that?
âThat I was the best clicker killer in the group.â Ellie made up, lightening the mood. âOh really now?â Joel chuckled, throwing all of the sheets down on Ellie.
âOh thank god, warmth.â she sighed, wrapping herself in as many blankets as she could hold.
You snatched a blanket from Ellie with a smirk and moved in front of the fire. You saw the sun setting from one of the still intact windows. Joel made the bold move of laying directly next to you. Normally you would have been so touched by this little bit of public affection (even though the definition of public, for now, was just Ellie), but you were so exhausted by your mind games from the day that you couldnât care less.
Ellie curled up next to you. She moved into your chest, wrapping her arms around one of yours. Poor Joel, Ellie got all your affection tonight after all.
After a few minutes, she was asleep.
âYou wanna meet upstairs in a bit? Tell her your takinâ a piss or something.â Joel whispered in your ear. His wide hand touched your back, making you tense. He was craving your touch you could tell. It had been a few weeks since your last hookup. âNo. Not tonight,â you whispered back, pulling Ellie closer.
âHey,â he said in a low tone. You turned your head to look at him. âWhatâs really goinâ on?â
âNothing,â you lied. âI know when your lying.â he sighed. âJoel, drop it.â you hissed.
Ellieâs head looked up at yours. You felt the movement and immediately reacted.
âIâm sorry, baby girl. Go back to sleep now,â you said sweetly to her, brushing her hair to the side of her face. You could tell Joel noticed how you called her baby girl. Thatâs what he called her.
âWhatâs happening?â she asked groggily. âNothing important. Now back to sleep. We need our energy for tomorrow.â You gave her a reassuring kiss on the top of her head.
Ellie nodded and resumed back to her sleeping spot in your arms.
Joel now sat against the couch, watching the two of you interact.
After a moment of silence to make sure Ellie was asleep again, he spoke.
âYou would make a great mother one day.â
Your head whipped around and the look on your face said it all.
âWith Ellie ân stuff. Sorry,â Joel muttered, rubbing his hands down the front of his jeans nervously. The man never usually let his guard down and say vulnerable things like that and you could tell he was disappointed by your reaction.
âGood night Joel,â you said sincerely. He was right. Ellie was like a little sister to you.
On the brink of sleep, you heard him throw another log on the fire. Blankets shuffled and there was a defining silence. Then the thought hit you.
There was no way he knew, right?
-
The faces matched so perfectly but yet were so different. Joel stood in a kitchen, the kitchen in the house you grew up in. You followed the scent of some sort of food and wandered into the kitchen. Your balance seemed off to you. Looking down, you were met by a large bump. No toes could be seen.
âMama!â you heard. Your head whipped around to the kitchen table. It was the same oak as you remembered it. A baby sat in a high chair. It had curly (your color hair) and Joelâs eyes. It scared you how fast you recognized his features. Unremarkably, they were copied onto the baby's face. âCome on now, eat your breakfast,â Ellie said, encouraging the child. She appeared next to them with a spoon in her hand, making airplane noises as the child laughed.
âEllie! Did you finish your homework?â Joel asked her. The oh-so-familiar groan escaped from her lips.
âYes⊠maybeâŠâ she began to say as the dream began to fade.
You shot upright, breathing heavily. Then the feeling arose from your stomach.
âY/N?â Joel asked, shielding his face from the sun rays displaying over his eyes. He watched you run to the kitchen that was left of the living room.
The kitchen sink was the victim of your vomit.
Joel quickly stood up and went to your side. His hand returned to its spot from the previous night.
âItâs okay,â he said. You could tell he was trying to calm you, but it also sounded like he was trying to calm himself.
Tears began to roll down your cheeks as the vomiting came to an end.
âIâm sorry,â you whimpered, wiping your mouth on your sleeve. âNo, no. Stop, you have nothing to be sorry about.â
âJoel⊠please,â you stuttered. You embraced him. His surprisingly warm figure held yours tightly. âItâs okay,â he said again.
âYou want to try to go back to sleep?â he asked you. Hesitantly, you shook your head yes.
Thank god Ellie was a deep sleeper when she had been asleep for a while. You could just imagine her putting the puzzle pieces together and announcing it without a second thought. She is a smart girl.
Joel held you on the wood floor. The two of you didnât care if Ellie woke up to find your embrace. Sleep didnât return to you, but a sense of peace did. You forgot about the world, the pregnancy, the cold, and the anger for just a moment. It was just you and Joel. The way it should be.
-
âGood morning Mom and Dad,â Ellie said, poking her foot into your shoulder.
Your eyes fluttered open from their relaxed state. âGo find some breakfast and shut it.â you hissed at her. Joel adjusted his hold on you, sighing in your ear.
âSome kid, huh?â he whispered.
âTell me about-â
âEugh! What the hell happened here?â Ellie yelled from the kitchen.
âI got food poisoning. Leave it,â you yelled to the kitchen, coming up with your best lie.
âBefore we leave you should look upstairs. I thought I saw some clothes you might like. Warmer for the winter too,â Joel grunted, sitting up straight and stretching his arms behind his back.
Using the coffee table to help you up, you trotted across the cold floor and made your way upstairs.
The first bedroom was empty. The second had a few long sleeve tee shirts and a pair of jeans that would fit you. At least for now. You picked up a sweatshirt for Ellie and a book she might like.
The third bedroom seemed to be a childrenâs room. You were going to look for something smaller for Ellie, but when you opened the first drawer you were met with rows of baby clothes.
Your hands ran over the patterns on the onesies. A baby girl had lived here. Your heart ached as you tried not to think about what her fate had possibly been.
You opened another drawer and it was filled with baby shoes. The memories of swooning over the baby shoes at the store when you were younger filled your mind. The memory of little Y/N mentally picking out which shoes her baby would wear one day warmed your heart.
Opening the top drawer again, you looked through the clothes. You let yourself choose four, one for each season. Easy enough to keep hidden in your backpack. You were too busy looking at the clothes to notice Joel leaning against the doorframe.
You only noticed him when you turned to put the clothes into your backpack.
Audibly gasping, you dropped your bag on the ground along with the onesies.
âI⊠I-â
âDonât,â Joel sighed. He bent down and grabbed your bag along with the baby clothes.
âYou really thought I didnât know?â he chuckled, slowly opening the zipper to your backpack.
âIâm sorry,â you whispered, face burning red. Itâs all you could manage to say. Your brain felt numb.
âNo, Y/N. It takes two, remember?â he smiled, holding up a onesie in front of him.
âBeen a while since Iâve done this,â he chuckled, beginning to fold the clothes. You stared at him astonished.
He was taking this news surprisingly well. You expected him to leave you somewhere, or even worse. The fact that he was smiling and folding clothes for a baby in this world was shocking.
âHow did you know?â you asked him. He gave you the side eye and smirked. âI know your body like the back of my hand. I just have to close my eyes andâŠâ
Joel closed his eyes and the stupidest grin grew on his face.
âStop it!â you blushed, giving him a playful slap on the arm. âI notice things, darling,â he said, assuring you everything was right.
âHow long have you known?â you asked him. You nervously dragged your finger across the dresserâs carved pattern. âWeek maybe. Figured it was either that or you were hidinâ a bite. I prayed you were pregnant instead of bitten.â
âYou also were avoiding me as much as you could,â
You looked at your shoes. âI really just didnât want to think about⊠you. This.â you admitted.
âIâm not mad, sweetheart. Pick a few more, I have room in my bag.â
You opened the drawer again and went for your second pics.
âYour not mad?â you asked him. âIâm not thrilled. When I figured it out it wasnât fun. But nowâŠâ
âWhat about now?â you asked him. Joel sighed.
âIf I heard rightâŠâ he began.
âMy shithead little brother has started a settlement up in Jackson.â
âTommy?â you asked, folding a pair of baby shorts. âGet âsum them shoes too,â Joel muttered, pulling at the handle of the drawer.
âJacksonâs about a few day ride from here. I can't guarantee heâll be happy to see me but itâs our best hope.â he assured you, placing his hand back on your back. This time you accepted his touch and pushed back on it.
You both agreed that would be the next step in your journey.
âAny name suggestions?â he asked you, handing you back your backpack.
âJesus Joel, I havenât even thought about that.â you said, swinging it on your back.
âWhat about Ellie Junior?â you heard her ask from the hall.
You and Joel made quick eye contact and then looked back at Ellie. Your mouth fell slightly open. The fear expressed over your face, you were basically a deer in headlights.
She walked into the bedroom with a shameful look on her face. âI wasnât trying to listen I promise. This house seems to echo.â
The t
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â GOOGLE REVIEWS
summary â carmen's never been good with his words, so when he finds you crying in the walk-in, he gets some help to convince you that you're capable of doing your job.
warnings â swearing, general customer-service nightmare stuff. reader is younger than carmen but i pictured/wrote her as being mid-late twenties (25-28 ish) and i think carmy is early 30s so there's an age gap but they're both fully adults, also boss/employee relationship so power imbalance but also nothing happens between them
pairing â carmen berzatto x fem!waitress reader, not established relationship
pronouns â she/her
word count â 1.9k
note â first carmen fic so obligatory warning that he might be OOC, i rlly work on dialogue and shit but i am finding my footing. waitress!reader is kinda special to me i might write some more about them cause they're both so silly if that's something people would be interested in? anyway i hope you enjoy :3
âStupid⊠fucking useless- fuck!â
The rush is familiar. The lunch rush, the dinner rush, the fifteen different orders jumbling in your head as you struggle to write it all down in time. Holding nine full glasses of nine different drinks in one hand and struggling to push open the door to run the food out into the dining room. Having to go to Richie and tell him that someoneâs card declined so you didnât have to be the one to tell them. Going into the walk-in and just opening your mouth in a silent scream just to go back out there and finish your shift.Â
The rush of cold air on the back of your neck is familiar too. You donât know what Carmenâs yelling about in the kitchen. Youâd just stepped in there to grab food and had caught the tail end of his rant and youâd left with your tray and a million possibilities running through your head.
Youâd written something down wrong and now a dish needed to be remade.Â
Youâd left one of the fridges open and spoiled days worth of food.
Youâd given someone something they were allergic to and now you were being sued.
You move through the restaurant on autopilot, avoiding people and chairs and one of Richieâs spitballs sent from behind the counter. Youâre so sure that the next time you went back in that kitchen Carmy would be pulling you aside and telling you that youâre fired.Â
You deliver the food to the table with a smile and stand back upright to check in with them about that being everything. One of the women sits up a little straighter, giving you an apologetic look. âSorry, I ordered a side of the lemon herb dressing?â
You look down at her dressing-less plate. âOh, Iâm sorry. Iâll be right back with that one, so sorry.â
She waves you off. âYou take as long as you need to, honey.â
You practically speed back to the kitchen. Oh, god. You hoped youâd at least get that poor woman her dressing before Carmy fired you. You canât believe that you managed to screw this up. Youâd been lucky to get this job. Carmen had brought you on right when heâd opened up the restaurant and the rest of The Bear had all been super welcoming.
You got on best with Sydney, the two of you were similar in age and she was one of the kindest people you knew. You and Richie also had a nice relationship, you thought he hated you when you first got hired and then he walked out into the alley to have a cigarette, found you crying and punched a guy in the face for you.Â
You needed this job. Youâd graduated a few years ago and were still struggling to break through in your field, and this job paid the bills and didnât make you cry every single day. Some days, sure, but not every day.Â
You knew you werenât the best waitress ever, you screwed up and made customers yell at you pretty frequently. You were lucky that Richie liked you enough to stand up for your honor even when you were probably wrong. But you tried your absolute best, you came into work every day and genuinely wanted to help. You respected all of the chefs so much, they all worked so hard, and you wanted to make their lives as easy as possible.Â
You go over to Richie and murmur something to him about the dressing, and he takes it to the kitchen. First whatever youâd done to upset Carmy, now this. If he didnât think you knew how to do your job before, he definitely will now. You glanced over your section. All your tables were eating or had ordered, youâd normally be checking with Sugar when the next reservation was due and triple-checking the table was clean and everything was prepared.Â
If you were going to get a walk-in minute in, now would be the best time. Maybe you could do it before Carmy fired you.Â
You brush past Tina, not even hearing her concerned call for you. The walk-in was empty and everyone in the kitchen understood. When someone goes into the walk-in with tears in their eyes you leave them alone for as long as you can.Â
You canât believe that you were stupid enough to screw this up.Â
The door slams open and you wipe your eyes, expecting it to be Tina needing to actually do her job or Marcus wanting to check on you. Itâs Carmen.
âWhat happened?â He hadnât been expecting to see you so upset. Heâd heard the door slam and wanted to leave it alone, but then Richie had raised his eyebrows, stopping mid-sentence.
âGod, I canât wait to hear about whatever asshole yelled at her this time,â heâd shaken his head, trying to go back to what heâd been talking to Carmy about before. One of the shelves had been knocked and two containers of flour had been completely emptied out onto the floor. They had lids on, lids with clamps on them that were meant to stop that from happening but lo and behold Fak was now mopping up something that was beginning to resemble bread dough with how much water he was trying to use. .Â
âWho?â Carmyâs eyes had still been glued to the walk-in. Richie had said your name and Carmen had practically excused himself in the same breath. This time? Did you get yelled at by customers a lot?
You wipe your face, shaking your head. âSorry, Carm. I guess I just needed a second, Iâll get back out there.â
You take a step forward and he, without meaning to, moves to block the door. You feel your heart rate climb. This was it, he was going to scream at you in the walk-in. âYouâre crying.â
You can feel the tears welling up in your eyes. You didnât want this to happen, you didnât want to be crying in front of your boss. Especially not Carmen. Heâs a lot, you know that. Youâre not in the kitchen a whole lot, but when you are heâs usually not super happy. Heâs a yeller, half of Chicago knows that. But heâs always kind to you, he gave you a job when you were fresh out of college in an unrelated field with no experience because he could tell how much you needed one. You often felt out of place slightly, through no fault of the other staff. They spent all shift in the kitchen together and you spent your entire shift out there in the dining room. You know theyâre not having sleepovers and braiding each othersâ hair in there, but your work mostly took place in a different room.
But Carmen always makes sure you get Family, that you get your break even if itâs scheduled while itâs busy and that Richie isnât skimming your tips (heâd never, but Carmenâs caught him with his hands in the jar so often that he isnât sure anymore).Â
It really doesnât help that he looks like that.
Youâre shaking, and he worries for a second that itâs because youâre standing in the freezer, but there are tears welling in your eyes and he doesnât want to drag you out to his office when youâre so visibly upset. âIâm sorry,â youâre shaking your head. âPlease donât fire me.â
Carmen frowns. âWhy would I fire you?â
The words seem to tumblr from your mouth without your permission. âI know Iâm not the best waitress, Iâm sure you get lots of complaints about me and I forgot that womanâs dressing and I know nothing about kitchens but Iâm trying, Carm. I promise, and Iâll do better.â Youâre talking so fast that he can barely keep up. Heâs still caught up on the first part.Â
âWait, wait,â he holds a hand up to stop you. âWho told you youâre not a good waitress?â
You sniff, tears fully rolling down your cheeks. Carmen knows heâs rough. Heâs prone to explosions. Carmen is a hurricane, he wreaks havoc on whatever environment heâs in. He sucks in everyone elseâs bullshit, swirls it around and then spits it back out, leaving whatever is left in worse condition than he found it.Â
You were calm. You calmed everyone. If an asshole yelled at Carmen, or Sydney or Ebra, Richie wouldnât even dream of going out there and yelling at the customer. Marcus made you a cake on your birthday and Sydney tries all of her newest recipes on you.Â
The eye of the hurricane.Â
Youâre prattling at this point. â-And that time that I made that guy wait fifteen minutes for a straw, and-â
âHoney,â he doesnât mean to, that slips out without him meaning. âYouâre a great waitress, who gives a shit that guy had to wait for his fucking straw? Who cares, youâreâŠâ he canât think of a way to talk to you. Great feels too impersonal, wonderful feels too intimate. Itâs what you are, though. âYou have nothing to worry about. Youâre⊠everyone loves you. Weâre lucky to- Iâm sure you could get a job at any other restaurant if you wanted. Youâre not a bad waitress.â
Thatâs apparently the wrong thing for him to say. It only makes you cry harder. âPlease donât fire me,â you look pathetic. Crying to your boss while he fires you in the middle of the freezer.Â
Carmen doesnât let that slide for a second longer than he has to. âWhy the fuck would I fire you?â
You donât need to answer. Because Iâm a bad waitress. It hangs in the air like the frosty vapor that flies from his mouth every time he takes a breath.Â
âI swear to fuck, youâre a big part of the reason people come in here,â heâs not lying. He knows his name carries weight, he knows people hear âCarmen Berzattoâs restaurantâ and that brings them in the door a lot of the time. He pulls out his phone, reception is shit but heâs able to google the name of the restaurant.Â
He doesnât have to scroll far down the Google reviews before he finds it. âFood was great, waitress was lovely, made us feel so welcome.â He finds another one. âWaitstaff was on top of it. Two people at surrounding tables smashed glasses and from what I saw one waitress cleaned them both up and still managed to get our appetizers out on time.âÂ
He goes to find another one but stops, looking back up at you. âYouâre not firing me?â You take a step back, dropping your entire body so youâre sitting cross-legged on the floor. He watches you, gauging your reaction, before mirroring you. Your knees are almost touching his.Â
âIâd have to be a fucking moron.â
The silence is deafening.Â
âHey,â Carmen canât bite back the shocked laugh. âThatâs⊠alright. Fine.â
Hearing you laugh makes relief bubbled up inside of him.Â
âI should go back out there,â you nod towards the door.
Carmy shakes his head, knee nudging against yours. âRichieâs got it, Marcus can walk desserts, Sydâs on top of everything. No oneâs gonna hold it against you if you stay here for a bit.â
He stands, hand brushing your shoulder as he moves towards the door. âHave you eaten today?â
You shake your head and he nods. âIâm gonna make you some pasta, okay? Richie can take over for a bit, you take your time in here Iâll be right outside, honey.â He shuts the door and your shoulder burns where he touched it.Â
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Another Man's Treasure
Oscar Diaz x f!reader
Word count: 6.8k (I am so sorry lmao)
Warnings: 18+, shitty husband, smut, p in v, unprotected (but pls don't be this stupid), creampie, dirty talk, cheating (but is it really if your husband is an ass), flirting, fluff, love at first sight type shit, Spanish/English pet names (pretty lady, hermosa, cariño), limited use of y/n(I literally used it once) idk lmk if I missed any.
(I only mention the first song but the other two are more for the⊠spicy sceneđ)
ââ
The only escape from reality you had was the small moments of disassociation you had between the screaming of your children and the-
"Are you fucking kidding me?!"
The shouting of your overgrown child of a husband playing his stupid games on his stupid PS5 that you wanted to set on fucking fire. This is not the life you pictured as a stay-at-home mom, yes the piles of dirty laundry were expected, and the mountainous dishes in the sink but you never predicted you'd be doing this alone. Your own mother stayed at home with you and your two brothers but your dad would still help her around the house so that she got the time to kick her feet up and relax.
You never got that.
You were living with this dark cloud over your head and deep regrets in your mind, why did you marry this man? You did think he was the love of your life, three years together before you got married proved your theory but never did you think it was going to end up like this. The amount of work you did was overwhelming, just one look at the number of toys on the floor made tears sting your eyes. You were tired, exhausted, drained and absolutely depleted.
If this was a job, you'd quit, you would take your children and quit. You wanted to so badly but the small hope of him changing clung to you like a piece of lint. You sighed holding your eleven-month-old on your hip while you made him a bottle, anything to keep him from wailing in your ears-- Jesus, half the time you couldn't hear.
"Babe!"
Your eyes rolled, you loathed his voice at this point. "What?"
"Can you pass me a water bottle?"
"Get up and get it, I'm making Malakai a bottle."
He groaned. "For fuck sake, you're in the kitchen already."
Your nostrils flared, and your eye twitched. You wanted to cuss at him, shout at him until your voice box shattered but you kept whatever calm you had left and ignored him. A small hand landed on your nose and you smiled kissing the tiny palm. "I love you too bubba."
He flashed a little smile and your heart sobbed at the fact that your last baby was growing so fast, teeth already emerging from his gums when just months ago he didn't have any. You could never regret your three little creatures, you loved them dearly, so much so you were willing to put up with the man that helped you create them just so they could have a two-parent household but you didn't know how much longer you could take this.
Heavy footsteps trailed inside the kitchen, you could tell he was angry at the fact that he had to pause his little game just to grab some water. He looked over the sink, utterly disgusted by the site in front of him and instead of just keeping his mouth shut or for once volunteering to do them he decided to spit out a sentence that made you want to knock his head off with the glass bottle you were holding; "You need to wash the dishes."
Your blood was boiling, if life was a cartoon you'd have steam coming out of your ears. "Why don't you get off of the game and do them?" You bit.
He cracked open the bottle cap. "Hey, I'm the one that works all week, you just stay home and do nothing."
Nothing? NOTHING!?
That was it.
That was the tip of the iceberg.
Your shoulders dropped and he left the kitchen, there was that ringing in your ears again that came and went every time you zoned out. Ever since you got married you'd felt nothing but unappreciated by him, you quit your job to stay home with your children and not even a thank you, you made sure he had a good meal when he went to work and all you got in return was an "it was okay." And the disgustingly dirty dish tossed right in the sink you'd just emptied. You were at the end of your rope.
You held back your tears and lightly kissed your son on his head handing him his bottle and putting him on a beam bag so he could lay down and drink. You trotted upstairs to check in on your oldest twins who were in their room colouring and getting along for once. Then you headed to the bathroom locking the door behind you, your body sliding down to the floor, you curled up in a ball burying your head between your knees you let out a long and heavy sigh before your river of tears took over.
A cry session your body and mind were so used to. You wailed into the void, muffling your weeps so that your children wouldn't hear you and come asking what was wrong, a question you couldn't answer without them turning on their father and you didn't want to ruin that relationship they had with him.
You were just so tired.
--
As night fell you remained mute when it came to your husband, whatever he had to say you didn't respond to, you were just happy that it was Sunday and soon he'd be out of your face for a few hours.
With the kids all asleep you were in the kitchen on FaceTime with your older brother. "The kids are great, they're sleeping." You conversed.
"And how have you been?"
There was no hiding how you felt when it came to your siblings, you were the baby and the only girl so when you were hurt they knew and they'd do whatever they could to fix it. "I'm okay... I'll be okay." You reassured. He was the only one who knew some small details about what you were going through and you begged him not to say anything not even to your mother until you figured out how to deal with everything yourself.
"Hey, listen, Jordyn is going on vacation next week, she's hitting Fiji, and I think you should go with her."
You squinched up your face, you didn't have a problem with your brother's wife, always so thankful for the sister you never got but what about your kids? Could you even trust that man to take over your duties even for a day?
As if he read your mind he continued. "I mean it'll be summer break next week, and they can stay by me if you want. I just, I really think you need time away from life. I want to see my little sister happy."
You pouted, it really touched your heart how concerned he was. A vacation would be wonderful, it was all you could dream of after the kids were born, you loved them but you just wanted to be by yourself.
"I'll think about it."
"Well, don't think too hard." He joked. "Whatever. I gotta get their lunches together, I'll call you when I make my decision."
"Sounds good, night."
"Night."
The call ended and you finished packing the twins' lunch placing the bags on the only empty spot on the counter. You huffed at the dishes and your husband's words replayed in your head. Nothing. You do absolutely nothing.
The longer you stared a vengeful plan began to brew. You were about to show him what doing nothing meant.
--
You decided you were going on that trip, Jordyn was excited and your brother was happy with your choice. The week flew by quickly, you kept up your normal appearance of keeping the house clean and to your husband's liking and by each day you grew more distant from him not like he cared in the first place.
On the last day of school you explained to the twins that you were taking a trip with Aunty Jordyn and they, unfortunately, couldn't come but they'd be staying with their uncle and they'd loved that man to death so they were excited either way. Your house was a mess and for once you smiled at it, you'd been letting everything pile up for the last two days, packing the clean clothes they did have in advance. The only explanation you gave your husband was that they were all staying by your brother for the week but you didn't mention that you weren't coming back.
You were leaving tonight and there would be no stopping you. You loaded the van with their stuff and yours and hollered for them to get their little butts in the car. "Last one in the car has stinky feet!" You laughed at the building volume of stomping feet coming across the hall and down the stairs, your twins were out and your youngest sat on your hip giggling at their antics. You happily wrote a short note.
Bye.
That's it.
You showered your baby in kisses and grabbed your keys before heading out the door, you locked it and made your way to the car, buckling in your baby and making sure the other two were in securely. You closed the door and first time in a long time you felt a weight off your shoulders, you smiled in satisfaction at how you left the house knowing you were not going to answer a single phone call from that man.
--
Jordyn squealed. "Ugh! I am so excited I don't even know what to do with myself!" You laughed at her enthusiasm as you put your hair up in a ponytail. It was day 2 of your trip and you were living life, you couldn't remember the last time you felt this relaxed. Now, of course, you missed your children it'd been the longest you'd ever been apart from them so you were a bit clingy with the calls but it was all understandable.
You two were hitting the beach today and you were a bit nervous, nobody had seen your body in almost a year not even your husband but Jordyn had persuaded you to find your behind in a two-piece bikini and you argued that you'd wear it as long as you could wear a cover-up so it was a deal. You looked yourself over in the mirror, you felt oddly confident. You looked fucking good. Three kids did your body right.
"You sure you want that cover-up?" She teased watching you admire yourself. "Hmm," You angled your lower half so you could check out your bum, how plump it had become over the years. "Maybe not."
She winked. "That's my girl."
You two grabbed what you needed and headed down to the beach which was right in front of the hotel you were staying at. The slight wind brushed against the water sending a cool and comforting breeze your way, your ears wiggled at the sound of the waves, and the giggles of other vacationers enjoying their time like you were.
The cushiony sand had greeted your toes after overflowing onto your sandals. You two travelled until you found a decent spot, it was close to the bar and the body of water. You set up your area as best as you could but you were in a battle with the beach umbrella Jordyn insisted on bringing. She watched with her hand covering her mouth to camouflage her laughter. "Okay, you know what, I'll handle this and you go handle us some drinks."
You childishly stuck out your tongue and strutted your way over to the bar, you hopped on an available stool. The bartender noticed you asking for you to just give him a minute. "No worries." You responded. You went on your phone and checked the many pictures your brother sent of your children, you smiled and a bit of sadness tugged at your heart. You missed your babies dearly.
The number of messages went up and it could only be one person. You promised you wouldn't look but you just had to, you swiped and tapped on your husband's name.
Where the fuck are you!?
The house is a fucking mess!
I'm not cleaning up, I hope you know that.
Baby, come on, we can work this out. Please.
You scoffed at the last message and put your phone down casually being greeted by the bartender who watched your various emotions while you went through your phone. "Everything's okay?"
Oh. Wow.
He presented a sweet smile, your eyes slightly widening at the sight in front of you. He was handsome, scratch that, he was fine as fuck. The shaved head didn't usually work on a lot of men but it did him justice, the scattered tattoos on his pretty and tanned skin, his broad shoulders that looked like they were made for legs to be hooked on and not to mention his big arms that looked like they could hold you snug and tight all through the night.
"Uh, yeah, everything's... everything is good." You stammered, a queasy feeling crept through you as it settled in your lower stomach. Butterflies? But you couldn't even remember what that felt like in order to come to that conclusion.
"Good to know. What can I get you, ma?"
You shuddered at his voice. He could talk to you all day.
"One Long Island, and one Piña Colada please."
He nodded. "Starting off slow I see." He chuckled. "Eh, we're on vacation, gotta soak it all up before we go back."
"I see," He multitasked making your drinks and conversing. "And when does the pretty lady go back?"
You blushed, should you even tell this literal stranger when you're actually leaving? But he felt... comfortable, easy to talk to and it's not like you'd ever see him again. "End of the week."
"Oh, you have plenty of time to get shit-faced." He encouraged. He'd finished your order and placed the liquored-down drinks in front of you. "Don't worry about paying yeah? It's on the house. Enjoy your vacation pretty lady."
"Y/n... you could just call me Y/n."
Not like you wanted him to, pretty lady was working just fine
"Nice to meet you. Oscar... Diaz." He winked. "Thanks, for the drinks."
"Anytime, pretty lady."
Your legs felt wonky as you walked away, and your breathing quickened. You did your best to walk back to Jordyn without looking back, if you did you were pretty sure you'd fall, just clumsy as fuck. "Girl, that man was watching you walk away." She whispered. "Stop." You poked, shoving her drink toward her. "Oh please, his eyes were on you." Jordyn gazed over to the bar, "He's still staring."
You casually whipped your head around and sucked your teeth when you noticed he wasn't. You glared at her. She snickered taking a sip from her Long Island. "Makes good drinks too."
You sighed, "Shut up."
The topic was silenced, you downed a few more drinks but sent Jordyn to get them instead while you swam around in the cooling water, floating around enjoying the peace the water brought you. But you couldn't help but occasionally look over to the bar. Oscar Diaz... nice name. Nice face. Cute little moustache that sat above his lips and a goatee that sat below. Pretty rosy pink lips...
Your eyes darted away. You're married.
Are you though?
You swam back up to the beach, it was beginning to get dark and the patrons on the beach became scarce. You wrapped yourself in a towel and collected anything Jordyn hadn't packed up yet. "You want one more drink before they close up? Maybe your new friend will allow it." She teased. You took off your flip-flop and threw it at her but your reaction only made her laugh.
A familiar voice was heard behind you. "So she's beautiful and she's got good aim, better watch out."Â
You quietly gasped. "Hi... Oscar."
"Hey, uhm, listen I own a club not too far from here and you know it's a decent hangout for the locals... and the visitors." He winked. "Wanted to know if you two would like to come check it out?"
You fought back a smile. "We could try." You answer without even thinking. "I'll take that," He reached into his pocket handing you a folded piece of paper, you assumed had the address of the place he owned. Your fingers brushed against his, prickles felt like they were forming on your skin and those weird feelings returned in your lower stomach.
He sent you another wink and headed back off to the bar to close up.
--
Of course, Jordyn was down to go. You groaned internally as you two pulled up to a crowded place, looking up at the illuminated sign reading Cloud 9. Hmm, cute. You pulled down your dress as it rose up with each step, your heels clicking against the cold ground, the music booming so loud you could feel your body vibrating the closer you got to the entrance, flashing lights of different colours beamed through the door every time it opened blinding whoever entered. "Where's your friend?" Jordyn asked. "Have patience, I just told him we got here."
"Mhm." She sassed. Your heart thumped in your ears, it pounded against your chest. What were you doing? It was a question you asked yourself from the moment you got back to your room and began to get ready for tonight. You shook off your thoughts and shifted your eyes over to a black door that slowly began to open. "Hey, over here." Oscar waved you two over and you followed. "What's going on, pretty lady?... And pretty lady's friend."
Jordyn nodded at him as a silent greeting, she was just here to observe your anxious behaviour for her entertainment. "Come on," You followed him through a dimly lit hallway and up a flight of stairs, your nerves building and sudden regret forming in your bones until you entered a brighter atmosphere, the loud music returning to your eardrums. He had led you two to a section that only had a few people, you could assume it was the VIP section.
"Anything you two want to drink just let me know and I got you."
Jordyn raised her eyebrows at the tempting bottle of unopened champagne sitting in a bucket of ice. Oscar chuckled granting her permission to open it, she shimmied her shoulders in excitement and got to work. You shook your head at her, you travelled over to the balcony and looks down at all the patrons having the time of their lives, a few familiar faces from the resort and others that weren't recognizable which you could only assume were locals.
Oscar found his place beside you and nudged your shoulder with his. "You want anything to drink?"
"No, not yet, I'm good."
He slowly nodded. "So, what are you doing in Fiji? Besides vacationing."
You huffed, "I just needed time to myself... to get away from shit."
"I hear that." You could just feel those sweet and curious brown eyes boring into the side of your head, you poked the inside of your cheek with your tongue and looked down at your shoes, just anything to not make eye contact with him. You were shy, you were never shy not even with your husband when you first met him. It's like this was a new feeling, you were queasy and nervous and it honestly felt good in a weird way-- it felt good to not be comfortable, to get all flustered over someone like a schoolgirl crush.
"You really own this place?"
He scrunched up his face. "Half own, I guess. My brother and I came here for an escape just like you and we ended up staying. Now, we own Cloud Nine and I work down at the resort once in a while."
"Oh, you're a busy man."
"I try to be." Oscar chuckled. He was so easy to talk to, why was he so easy to talk to?
You found yourself moving a bit closer. "What were you trying to escape from?"
"Life. I wasn't happy where I was living and I wanted better but... given the circumstances, we just couldn't get it. So I threw a dart on a map, so to speak, it landed on Fiji and we've been here ever since."
"Where are you from then?"
"Originally born in Mexico, we moved to LA, and then out here."
"Would you ever go back to the States?" You asked finally looking up at him knowing he hadn't taken his eyes off you all night. He leaned forward, officially entering your bubble. "If I had a good enough reason... yeah."
You looked up at him through your lashes and softly smiled, meanwhile, Jordyn sat on the couch sipping and shaking her head at the sight in front of her. She would playfully scold you in the morning but tonight she'd let you have your harmless fun.
As the party went on you were getting a bit bored being upstairs so you grabbed your girl and headed downstairs to where the crowd was and of course Oscar was right behind you, he felt a sense of protection over you two tonight given this was your first time out here and inside his establishment. You had found enough confidence to start dancing around, a little two-step from left to right to get you going, but soon the constant flow of drinks Jordyn handed you helped you loosen out of that as well.
The DJ was beginning to play all the oldies, and that was your specialty. Oscar watched in adornment as you killed every lyric, every adlib and every beat to whichever song came on. It had transitioned from a bit of Hip-hop to something a lot slower.
  "Right now, we're gonna slow it down a bit, so grab your lovers and take your time."
The lights changed to blue and a recognizable first note had you close your eyes.
Mmm ooooh, my my my my my my my babyyy ouuuuuu
Jordyn had already found herself dancing with a random woman. She looked widened her eyes at you and quickly flicked them over to Oscar, trying her best to encourage you to make your move. But he was faster. You felt yourself being pulled into his warm embrace, his strong chest against your exposed back, his hands carefully snaking around your waist as if he was worried about you rejecting his touch but you gladly welcomed it.
Melting into his hold you two swayed side to side, he leaned down comfortably nuzzling his head into the crook of your neck. You were lost in the vibes of Keith Sweat's Right and a Wrong Way. You reached back hooking your arm around his neck lightly scratching his scalp with your nails. "You smell so good, mamita." He whispered, it was a miracle that you heard him. Your lips parted slightly as you felt his warm breath tickle your skin. His swift hands ran up your sides resting right under your breasts and gliding back down to your hips.
A thumping began between your thighs, now that was something you hadn't felt in a long time. You put that feeling to the side no matter how hard it was to do so. The rest of the night it felt like all the songs were targeted for just you two, you hadn't eased up on him once-- always in close proximity to him. He touched you in simple ways, ways you hadn't been touched in almost a year.
It was getting super late, almost three in the morning and you couldn't recall the last time you were out like this, it'd give you hell when you woke up but it was worth it. You and Jordyn rode back to the resort with Oscar, she exited the car first thanking him for the night out and wobbling her way inside. You giggled watching her walk away, "I should get in there before she tries the key on the wrong room."
But you didn't want to leave him.
And he didn't want to leave you.
"Thanks for tonight, I had a lot of fun."
"No problem, anything to help a pretty lady escape." He bit his lip. "What are your plans for tomorrow?"
"Recovering," You laughed, "But other than that nothing."
"Can I see you again?"
You gulped and nodded. "Mhm."
He laid out his palm your eyebrows furrowed as you rested yours on top of his, he brought the back of your hand to his lips and placed such a gentle kiss on your skin. "Goodnight, mamita."
You wanted to scream. You left the car putting a little swing in your hips as you walked away, you looked over your shoulder and sent him a cute little wave before disappearing behind the doors.
â â
And that's how you spent the rest of your trip, shamelessly flirting with Oscar. You got to know each other a lot more, when you weren't spending time with Jordyn you were with him. Giggling like an airhead and blushing red like Rudolph's nose.
Jordyn constantly teases you about the crush you'd seem to quickly develop.
"Is this stupid?" You ask shoving your face in the pillow. This all felt too good to be fucking true, a guy that you met only four days ago was treating you so much better than the man you married four years ago. Oscar had flowers for you at the front desk of the resort every morning and sent you the sweetest messages throughout the day about how he was thinking of you, how he caught a glimpse of you today and you looked stunning, calling you the prettiest woman he'd ever seen step on this island.
You convinced yourself they were all lies, sugarcoating you like he probably did every woman but who were you fooling? Certainly not yourself and certainly not Jordyn.
"It's not."
"I'm married." You argued tiredly to which she fake yawned. "I don't see a ring on that finger and I don't see that man treating you any better than Oscar has. Just saying."
The fingers on your right hand brushed your vacant ring finger, you'd taken it off the minute you got on the plane, you didn't want to be reminded of him on this trip at all and yet there was that piece in the back of your mind that reached out to him. Checking his messages once in a while but never responding, he was giving you the attention you wanted but it didn't feel right.
The fact that you had to spontaneously leave to get even a fraction of what you were asking for was bullshit. Downright bullshit.
You groaned sitting up the pads of your fingers now rubbing your temples, tired and stressed. The trip was almost over and you dreaded going back to that house that was no longer a home. He'd sent you pictures that he'd finally cleaned up but you had a feeling once you returned home things would go back to the way they were and you did not want that.
"I think your brother would agree with me, you've smiled more in these past few days than I've seen back home, I mean you two are always so distant when you come over. And don't think I don't hear your rants when you and your brother are on the phone. Now I don't condone cheating but, hey, I didn't see shit."
You sighed checking your phone for any recent texts from your husband but Jordyn caught wind of what you were doing and snatched your device. "Enough with him. Flirt and have fun before you have to go back to normalcy."
You heard your phone buzz in her hand, she looked at the message for you. "Speaking of, someone is downstairs."
You felt nauseous. "Where are you two going anyway?"
"Down to the beach, said he has to restock the bar... and I wanted to spend time with him so I offered to help."
"Mhm." She winked. You grabbed your phone back from her grasp and told her you'd be back soon. You left your room, entered the elevator and headed downstairs where Oscar was happily waiting for you. "Hola querida." He become more comfortable speaking Spanish around you, especially when he noticed how the little nicknames got a reaction out of you.
"Hi," Oscar noticed the shaky tone in your response and made note of it You had comfortably slipped your hand inside his, he immediately hooked his fingers in the spaces of yours. Like he was your puzzle piece.
You two headed down to the decent-sized Hut, your eyes widened at the number of boxes sitting on the sand. "Don't worry, I got the heavy bottles, you just get the small ones." He reassured pressing a kiss to the top of your head. You loved those, so innocent and sweet, although you wish sometimes he'd kiss you on your lips or you had to courage to kiss his. "Think I can't handle the big boxes?" You scoffed walking inside after him.
"I think you can, I just don't think my pretty lady needs to."
My pretty lady.
ugh!
With music playing in the background you two got to work, "Do you still think about running your own restaurant?" You asked sparking a conversation, you squatted down to the lower shelves and propped the glass bottles in an organized fashion, eyes tearing through the material of your sundress and you could feel them. "I do, yeah. Why?"
You bit your lip. "Would it still be down here?"
There was a beat of silence. "Most likely."
Another pause in the moment aside from your soft humming to the music. "You excited to see your kids?" He asked. You smiled at the mere thought of them. "I am. My three little headaches." Oscar found himself next to you, leaning against the counter, you stopped your movements and looked up-- he had one arm folded over the other and a bit of a scowl on his face.
"What?" You innocently question standing up to match his eye line, well more-like chest line. "Nothing, just trying to take my time to remember this face." He reached for your cheek, his fingers ghosting your flesh. "You flirt like this with all the girls here?"
A question that was supposed to come out jokingly but you were a bit serious. "Nah," You squinted at him watching his lips press together, his chest stuttering as he held back a laugh. "You asshole, I knew it." A dramatic hand to your heart as you playfully pouted at him and fake cried. Oscar's arms enveloped you in their warmth, you attempted to push him off but it was no use, your feet suddenly off the ground, you squealed and giggled as he switched positions with you plopping you on top of the counter.
He placed his palms flat on the side of your thighs while he was positioned comfortably between them. "To be fair, hermosa, it is kind of my job. But believe me when I say I've never spent any time with them. And I've definitely never brought them back here after hours." His thumb and pointer finger pinching your chin. "Just you, princesa."
You melted, your whole body could be seen physically slumping in his hold. His eyes sparkled while he looked at you, the crinkles in his eyes appearing as he smirked. Before you could comprehend anything his lips brushed yours, your head suddenly becoming foggy with the inappropriate images of him that you'd conjured up these past few days.
His nimble fingers danced along the hem of your dress, a rush of heat passing over you as he hiked it up further exposing more of your flesh.
This was no longer a want... it was a need.
Your hands landed right under his jaw as you pulled him in crashing your lips onto his and he happily reciprocated your energy, his hands wandered up to your hips tugging you closer to him as if it were possible. Your lips moved as one, tongues passing by in the heat of the moment, the only thing on your mind was him and you wanted it to remain so for as long as possible.
Tingles scattered around your body, both of you flushed with lust and arousal. Your hands travelled to the bottom of his shirt quietly begging for him to take it off, you needed to feel his skin, thankfully he got the message-- pulling away for a brief moment to remove his top. Your eyes glazed over his lightly tanned skin, little scars here and there you can only presume he earned before he got here.
You smiled at the strewed ink on his torso, chest and ribs. "What are you thinking about?" He inquired. You looked back up into his brown iris'. "I wish I had met you first." You mumbled drawing him back down, this kiss was a lot more passionate and slow unlike the first.
Oscar's hands gently tugged at the neckline of your dress, your breasts spilling over and his calloused hands finding them. You softly moaned against his lips, your nipples hardening from the cool breeze and his fondling. He pinched and rolled them between his fingers, your head tipped back and his teeth nipped at the column of your neck.
You were forming a small pool in your panties at his teasing. His tongue grazed your neck continuously licking and sucking a specific spot that was getting a squirming reaction out of you. You felt his devilish smile, he knew what he was doing to you and he liked it.
His hands moved from torturing your swollen breasts back down to your thighs shoving your dress up until your little black panties were on display. You sat on the edge of the counter making it a bit easier for him to remove them, the cool air hitting your soaking slit.
"Touch me, please, touch me." You whined not caring about how desperate and needy you sounded. Oscar listened to your pleas and dipped one hand between your legs, his fingers quickly finding your slick folds. You shuddered as he glided two fingers up and down, dipping them inside you once in a while.
You were soaking, you were throbbing, and you just wanted him inside you where he fucking belonged. He slowly plunged his fingers inside, you clench around them happy to have something pleasuring you. Your eyes are closed and your legs spread further for him, nails digging into his shoulder blade hopefully leaving little indents.
He pumped them in and out of you with the squidgy noise of your wetness to follow. "Yes... oh yes, like that."
Oscar felt himself twitch under his boxers using his other hand to undo his belt and pulled down his materials. His dick is hard and his tip a rosy pink turning cherry red oozing with a bit of cream, his hips buckled once his hand brushed over it-- equally as desperate as you were. Your erotic moans were like music to his ears, so much sexier than he could've pictured. You whined once he removed them your hole flexing around nothing as you caught your breath.
Oscar hooked your legs over his arms spreading you to his desire, you reached between your bodies firmly (but not too tight) grasping his length and guiding it to your entrance, his swollen head prodding inside you as the rest of him followed.
Your jaw slacked at the feeling of him deliciously stretching you out, he was so thick and it felt so nice. Oscar croaked out a moan while burying himself deep inside your warmth-- coating his dick with your sticky walls, so slick and welcoming that he didn't want to move.
You caressed the back of his neck as he pressed another kiss on yours, trailing it up the side and finally landing on your mouth. You giggled into the kiss, Oscar pulled back with a questioning look. "I can't tell the last time I felt like this." You mumbled under your breath but he heard you. He didn't want you to leave, hell if you didn't have kids he'd probably try to convince you to move out here with him.
He didn't say anything in response just pulled out and pushed back in. "Fuck." You both moaned.
His head dipped back down, nibbling on your sweet skin.
You whimpered through every tantalizing stroke he gave you, his tip poking right at your hot spot and you knew you wouldn't last. "You feel so good!" A sentence broken by little gasps. Oscar grunted, violently gripping your thighs as he pounded you, pulling the filthiest sounds from your pretty little throat. So loud and erotic he was sure they could hear you back at the resort.
Your eyes squeeze in absolute bliss, your head hazy from the constant pleasure you received, quickly feeling a sensation in your lower belly a wave of heat threatening to take over. Your palm lay flat on his back while the other gripped the edge of the counter.
"Fuck, fuck, fuck! Oscar!"
He lifted you off the counter a bit, relentlessly slamming into you now. Your high getting closer and closer. "I can, shit, I can feel you mamita. So fucking tight."
Your toes curled and your eyes rolled. "Baby, ohhh, I need to..."
Oscar smiled. "You wanna cum for me, baby? Come, mi amor, all of it."
His words tipped you off the edge, your back arched and your body trembled from the shockwaves of your orgasm, he held you closely revelling in your pulsating pussy dripping down his shaft.
He quickly brought you off the countertop, your wobbly legs barely holding your support. He turned you around, you barely recovered from the first position.
You were sensitive and extra wet just how he wanted you. You flinched when he pressed himself against your entrance once again, pushing in ever so carefully. "Fuck... you."
He laughed menacingly, his hands squeezing your hips. "That's what I'm doin' pretty lady."
You wanted to give him a smart-ass answer but it was cut short when he began to move. Your nipples were hard against the surface, you rested your head down and whined. "So fucking good."
"Yeah?" He chuckled spanking you. He was enjoying the pornographic sounds that you provided, all going straight to his dick.
He wrapped his arm around your waist pulling you up against him, back pressed on his chest, his warm breath in your ear. "Can't get enough of you I swear." He admitted.
He poked and prodded against that familiar spot, tears of overwhelming pleasure threatening to spill when he pinched your nipple. "Fuck! I'm gonna miss you, so fucking much."
"You gonna think about me?"
"Yes! Oh!"
You felt him twitch inside you, you smiled egging him on. "I won't stop thinking about you, when I touch myself I'll picture it's you-"
"Fuck, cariño,"
"Ou, you're the only one I want inside me."
You convulsed around him feeling another orgasm quickly building and getting ready to fall apart. A few more thrusts and Oscar held himself still inside you, your body shivering at the warm cream he just spilled inside you. His high triggering yours. You reached behind hooking your arm around his now sweaty neck.
The sound of the wind against the water and the waves crashing describe exactly how you felt right now.
"Oh... my god." You said breathlessly.
"You're okay?" He asked with a laugh. You giggled tipping your head back on to his shoulder. "Better than okay."
He sighed kissing your back. "I meant it..." You said.
"What?"
"I'm gonna miss you."
He smiled sheepishly. "I'll miss you too."
--
Those moments replayed in your head constantly, it was the only thing getting you by once you came back home. You two still talked every day, called and FaceTimed but it wasn't enough. You would stare at the prices of tickets and sigh, you couldn't afford to go back right now.
Your life was the same, unloved and unappreciated, despite the embarrassingly desperate messages your husband had sent when you were on your trip. You stared at another pile of dishes, your shoulder sinking with exhaustion. With your two older ones at school and your son almost an hour into his nap you decided to just relax. You clicked on Netflix and attempted to finish Bridgerton's, Queen Charlotte.
Your eyelids felt heavy, sleep threatened to take over but the doorbell had them shoot open. It wasn't just one ring it was multiple and it was annoying so you assumed it was your brother. You groaned trudging to the door. You swung it open aggressively, ready to give him a piece of your mind. "You're going to wake-"
There he was. Standing in front of you, on your doorstep... at your house. "O-Oscar..." You poked his chest to see if he was really there. "Said I'd come back when I have a good reason." Your eyes softened, your arms reaching for him. His lips immediately find yours. "I," kiss, "fucking," kiss "missed you."
Your legs wrapped around his waist as he stepped inside closing the door. He carried you over to the couch and plopped you on the cushions. You laughed, your mood immediately changing with him around. "Jordyn told you where I lived didn't she?"
He nodded. You rolled your eyes. "Of course."
"Not happy to see me?"
You pulled him down for another kiss.
"Beyond happy."
I was going to wait until the weekend to post this but I am a little too excited to get this out.
Shoutout to my girl @darqchilddaydreamz for her input on a few things and her encouragement. Holdin it down âđŸ
if you liked this fic feel free to like this fic, comments and reblogs are appreciated.
Alsooooo thank you for 800 followers, yall cool as fuck thanks for fucking with me and my antics.
Peace and love see you in the next oneâđŸ
đ·: @darqchilddaydreamz @skyesthebomb @realhotgurlshit
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