#and a lot of lgbt posts actually have managed to stay up

[wall-artist2]

Hate how every time there’s a photo of somebody on rednote saying ‘omga, the prices are incredibly high in America. Your government is bad.’ Somebody on the site HAS to go ‘w-well actually, China has a worse government!” And??? Just because their’s is worse doesn’t mean ours is good, or that they can’t have an opinion. Like fuck offfff

[stormoflina]

https://www.tumblr.com/stormoflina/771661368990515200/joyce-namedropping-kerkez-as-a-potential-future

why so

TLDR: history of attitude problems, if Trent stays I don't think he's the type of LB we need, inconsistent - but he's still so young and in very good form at the moment, long term he's quality wouldn't be an issue, I think he's just simply not a Liverpool type of player

Long answer below 👇🏼

Remember that one tweet about Ibou when he signed and it goes like ‘he seems to have a big ego, Liverpool don’t do egos’, yeah, well :D It’s mainly about his attitude. It’s one thing that it’s pretty well-known that he had attitude problems as a teenager - which was reportedly ‘sorted out’ at a Hungarian club when he was around 15-16ish. Years ago when the article regarding this came out it was painted in a very positive light, basically as if the ‘unruly teenage boy has been tamed by the strict, but paternal care the manager showed him there’ and reportedly this experience had such an impact on him that it was then that he decided that he’s going to represent the Hungarian National Team (as he had the choice to represent Serbia or even Montenegro. He’s as Balkan as it gets lol.) And now, obviously years have passed since then and no such incident at any other of his clubs have been noted to the best of my knowledge, but if you pay attention to his online presence or how he (or his team) handles the media it’s not exactly too hard to find controversies. It’s honestly nothing that hundreds of players haven’t done before, like for example last year there were rumours of him going to Chelsea and he out of the blue (haha) posted a match picture of him and a Chelsea player. Clearly feeding into the rumours as at that point it had been weeks since they have played Chelsea. So this type of stuff, he seems like one of those ‘political’ players if you know what I mean, bit attention seeking, likes baiting the fans a bit etc. 

There was this other thing this year, which to be fair, I don’t think it’s actually his fault, it’s much more complex than that, but if I’m to be very fair, I believe it should be mentioned. The Hungarian NT was going through a rough patch, especially after the already disappointing Euros performance. There was a LOT of media scrutiny, some of it deserved, but by the end definitely blown out of proportion due to unrealistic expectations. Kerkez this year, for some reason, just didn’t deliver in the NT as he does in his club, so much so that he ended up being benched and the NT manager played a 31 year old guy who plays in the Hungarian League. Which is kinda embarrassing considering Kerkez’s age and the league he plays in. However, it is very important to highlight that this nt manager is a CUNT lol, he’s terrible at man management and gotten so arrogant it’s crazy, he should have been fired after the Euros. And I’m not just saying this because I have an agenda against him. He gave into the political pressure, botlicks into the right government and blamed Gulacsi (the goalie for RB Leipzig, our highest rated player after Szoboszlai) and basically annihilated him from the NT in favour of the second choice goalie who is heavily associated with the governing right wing political party. Meanwhile Gulácsi faced backlash from said party’s supporters and media for standing up for LGBT+ rights.

Anyways, so after being benched Kerkez’s ego must have taken a hit, because he withdrew with a ‘knee injury’ the next int break, then played the same thing the following int break, meanwhile he never actually missed any game with Bournemouth, he started in all of them. The second time he did this, the NT manager got all prissy and publicly called him out, however as I said this manager is a CUNT and the whole thing was in very bad taste, unprofessional and even those who were critical of Kerkez (to the point of calling him a traitor lol) thought it was unnecessary and unprofessional. Btw, Iraola (Bournemouth manager) ended up speaking up for Kerkez. Again, I don’t actually blame Kerkez in this situation, yes, he was being childish and shady and should have handled the thing better, but without dumping so much unnecessary context of the dysfunctional nt management, it’s just not as simple as him pulling a Mbappé move. 

As for his qualities as a player, I just don’t think he’s that player that our fans see in him. He might be, but I’m sceptical that he will be ever as good as prime Robbo was, which I think is the unsaid expectation. Don’t get me wrong, he’s still a very good player, and he is definitely going to be a top club player with a high ceiling and all, but he’s still so very raw and inconsistent. He loves his yellows, he’s prone to lose his head a bit, but then again that can be written off due to his age. If Trent stays I don't think he's the type of LB we should go for, he is very good going forward, but can be a bit shaky defensively, and he's short, pretty weak at aerial duels. Then there’s the question on how on Earth do you drop such stinkers in the Euros that you get replaced by a 31 year old who plays for Felcsút FC lol, I don’t get it. 

[dojae-huh]

To the anon who mentioned JaeDo going to Dreamies' concert and spending Chuseok together, omg, I'm glad I am not alone in that thought. They came in and left together the concert together, and I suspected they actually spent Chuseok together. That Q&A with the blanket/bedsheet that you mentioned made me think he was out of town (the blanket was nice, like hotel or airbnb type of quality) and he later uploaded a series of photos in his IG that suggested he vacationed. Add to what dojae-huh-nim said, it actually is plausible. The Dreamies categorize JaeDo often as a unit/couple. Jeno (just recently) and Jaemin already said that Jaedo greeted them together on their birthdays and if my memory serves me correct, the greeting was at around 12 AM (making me suspect more that they do live together/staying together, coz why else would you be together at wee hours lol). Even Jeno gave us the Doyoung-mother and Jaehyun-father canon during his fancall. It's hard not to see that when you look at Jeno and Jaemin, two of the most introverted guys in NCT, warm up the most to Jaehyun and Doyoung. They're almost like their parents.

The thing I cannot quite get over is how accepted JaeDo are with their respective families, even going as far as to their cousins and aunts. Korea is known for being extremely conservative and even though JaeDo's immediate families accepted them, it can be met with resistance from other family members, especially those that are farther the family tree. But seeing how comfortable they are with the family members, wew. I'm glad. They really lucked in this lifetime, huh.

I like that you, readers, started sharing your won observations. The more tidbits the better. I skip many that I notice because I've already covered all common types. You also show that different people with different background, observing same things, come to the same conclusions for the same reasons.

As you said, Dreamies are not as careful with cover ups as 127 neos. It is not always on their mind, so they often say how it is. "Doyoung-ie-hyun and Jaehyun-ie-hyung congratulated first, they called right after 12" - something like that. 127 neos try to break the two and not mention their names together.

Fans also noticed how often Jae and Do update their IGs one by one? in a span of a cople of minutes. Making some even think Do has a password from Jae's IG and just does the work. (I don't know about travel pics, but "obligatory" pictures from concerts I can imagine, heh). It is not a far stretched idea because managers do it for some artists.

Sidenote: have you noticed how Tae and Jae have started posting many similar pictures like Do does? Not selecting the best ones, just dumping a bunch? Copycats...

Anyway.

JaeDo are definitely fortunate with their families. It's not nesessary that their relationship is explained how it is to the extended family(ies). Taeyong also visited Do's house in Guri. Do invited JN, Yuta and Ten to spend Christmas in the past.

They are also very lucky that there are no homophobes in 127 and in NCT. Although, I think them both being known prior to them coming out could have helped in some cases (they were "great people, how can you not love them" first).

As for Korea being conservative. It is so, but a lot depends on the level of religiousness of an individual and on the current politics. Most people are passive and don't care either way, don't harbour real hate. SK holds annual gay parades. Like in Russia, a few decades ago Tatu was sent on Eurovision and MTV awards, now LGBT is called extremist.

[helenarlett-rex]

Reintroduction

So I took sort of an extended break from all social media for a while after RL was getting to be too stressful for me. I was still checking in here and there periodically but for the most part I wasn't here or anywhere else. It was for my own health. And coming back now feels like,

With all the crap that's been happening here on tumblr it's kind of sad but understandable to come back and see so many of the people I knew and interacted with regularly are no longer here. And I'm going to miss them a lot. I don't think anyone who had been with me from the beginning is still here. But that isn't to say I don't still see a handful of my mutuals still here and it's great to see you all. Hi everyone! Thanks for still existing!

But that said, I feel like maybe it's time to start over and rebuild. And I don't mean start over as in somewhere else... More like, reintroduce myself as I go about rebuilding my online presence. So let's start with that. A reintroduction.

My name is Helen Arlet. (Although my full title is, Her Grace The Reverend Dr. Helen Arlet, Duke of Merania, PhD. Yes... It's all legal... I have a title of nobility, a doctorate in metaphysics, and an ordination.) I'm an AMAB Demigirl so my pronouns are she/they. I'm a Gray Asexual. I'm also a self-published author of adult literature most popular within the Furry and Vore communities. You can find some of my books for sale on Amazon but my free content (which actually makes up the bulk of my work at this point) can be found on my eka's account, here...

I'm a furry myself, with my primary fursona being that of a T-Rex, although I do have sort of a "secret sona" that may come to light at some point... Because I often stay very in character when I post I have been mistaken as otherkin before, but so as not to give that community a bad name, I would like to point out that I am not... as far as I know... I am however quite friendly with the otherkin community and love chatting or hanging out with them when I can.

I'm also an old-school punk with very left leaning ideals. I'm... not young... I mean, come on, I'm literally a dinosaur... T-Rex... Rawr! But I'm stuck in that weird area where my status as a gray muzzle in the Furry community is debatable. I have been on tumblr since the beginning though and they still haven't managed to get rid of me. But I am old enough to have actually been a punk in the 80s. A very young one at the time, but I was... and still am...

I had been a librarian for the last decade, but recently lost that job about a year and a half ago when my old boss retired and was replaced by a narcissistic sociopath. And I don't use those terms lightly. I do mean that in the clinical sense... She fired me along with anyone else who was perceived to be a threat to her position, had been there longer than her, knew more than her, was queer, was disabled, or she believed had insulted her in some way. I now work at a used video game store. I won't name it, but it's the second biggest chain of used video game stores behind Game Stop.

And in most recent developments, I now own a partial fursuit, (of my secret sona) and I have finally managed to become a total affront to the church by achieving the status of Ordained Minister, making me one of the very few in my state who will actually perform LGBT+ weddings. Suck it.

Things I will post on this account:

Furry stuff

Vore related content

Dinosaurs

Sharks

LGBT+ stuff

Random reblogs of stuff I find funny or politically important

Posts related to my writing, including links to stories themselves

Answers to any questions I get asked

So please feel free to talk to me if you want. I'm always happy to talk. (Or silently stalk my account and just reblog things you like without ever saying anything to me. You could to that too...) Or even tag me in stuff you want me to see and I'll probably reblog it.

[yridk]

Ok so this is going to be a pretty long post that’s mainly me rambling about my feelings.

So I graduated today from (what google says is compulsory education in English?) and I don’t know what to do now. I’ve been at the same school for ten years and I have no memory’s from before that and I knew it was going to be strange but it didn’t hit me until today yk. It also made me realise that I don’t know when I became friends with one of my two friends from school and because we won’t be going to the same school anymore I’m not sure we’ll stay friends and I think that might be a good thing wich is really strange to be able to admit to myself.

At the graduation I got a letter we were made to write to ourselves three and a half years ago and it made me cry so much bc little me had things figured out man and I really don’t know. Like I wrote i hope you are doing okay and reading that back made me realise I’m really not I’ve actually been getting worse with every year since I wrote that and I didn’t even realise. And school definitely played a part in that and the friends I had. Right now I don’t know what will happen next but I’m going to write a list of things I’m hoping will happen so I can look back on this in like a year and see

I hope that I either stop talking to one of my friends or she starts actually respecting my opinions and pronouns.

I hope I get into the school I put as my first place.

I hope I stay friends with my only good friend from this school year.

I hope I actually start showing up to after school clubs (specifically lgbt+ or music ones maybe)

I hope I make more friends.

I hope I manage to actually clean my room (I’ve been trying to finish it for years now but it always just gets worse and that just has a negative impact on me but I also don’t have the energy to do it)

I hope I feel safe enough to come out to more people.

I hope I’ll start feeling better in my body.

I hope I finally manage to say I’m not feeling good in the correct way (I say it a lot to try and lead somewhere but my mum always thinks I mean I’m sick so I just let her think that)

More than anything I hope I’m feeling okay.

I have no idea if any of these things will happen but if just one of them does I’d count that a win because that means you are doing better than me.

(I’ll probably make some more posts about this soon btw and I still have a lot of art from my final project that I’ll post but I’m really tired so)

[spencers-renaissance]

you know that a boy who likes boys is a dead boy

Summary: Spencer's gay. He joins the BAU and befriends the team, but it is 2003. It's a secret he has to keep. He just didn't expect it to be this hard.

Tags: gay!spencer, coming out, hurt/comfort, insecure!spencer, misunderstandings, angst with a happy ending, dad hotch, protective!hotch, protective!derek, childhood trauma TW: one instance of explicit homophobia, but it is referenced a lot, as is Spencer's internalised homophobia at the start of this fic. A shit ton of heteronormativity but tbh that's just canon lol

Pairing: Spencer Reid/OMC, Spencer Reid & Derek Morgan, Spencer Reid & Aaron Hotchner, The BAU Team & Spencer Reid

Word Count: 6k

Masterlist // Read on AO3

Consider this my contribution to pride month 😌 I've waited so long to post it and I'm so glad I'm finally doing it because it's definitely one of my all time favourites <3 Gideon is here somewhere but just like with all my early season fics he's not really part of the plot I combined my moreid and gen taglists bc it was hard to know the audience for this, but just ignore it if you're not interested!

you know that a boy who likes boys is a dead boy, unless he keeps his mouth shut, which is what you didn’t do, because you are weak and hollow and it doesn’t matter anymore. — richard siken, a primer for the small weird loves

Spencer has only told one person in his whole life.

His mother guessed. For as long as he can remember, she’s used gender neutral pronouns when talking about his future partner, read him all the gay literature she could find, promised him that he’s perfect just the way he is.

The trouble is that Spencer only believes her until the first grade, when Ryan Sampson shoves him over in the playground and calls him gay. His mom had only ever used that term in a sweet, loving way, taking care to associate such words with positivity, as long as his dad wasn’t around to hear. When that word comes out of Ryan Sampson’s mouth, it is not said with sweetness and love; it is said with venom, and Spencer learns quickly that his mom is wrong. He is not perfect just the way he is.

And so, he keeps it a secret. When his mom notices him getting uncomfortable at the mention of future partners, she stops bringing it up, though she refuses to give up the diverse education she provides for him outside of school. His dad tells him that one day he’ll be a strapping young man and marry a nice girl in a church, and Spencer nods along. He ignores the way his stomach turns with anxiety at the thought. Ignores the screaming match his parents have that night. Ignores the fact that it started because Diana chipped in with ‘or boy’.

He’s in high school by the time he’s twelve, and the only part he’s grateful for is the absence of pressure to get a girlfriend. His dad’s out of the picture now, and Spencer tries not to let himself think that maybe if he wasn’t like this he might have stayed. Diana’s so out of it most days that she doesn’t remember what she noticed about him when he was a child, only recalling the last few years of shoving himself so far back in the closet he can hardly see the door anymore.

It feels like he’s lost his last ally.

(He hates that a small part of him feels relieved she doesn’t remember; that he almost feels assured by the fact that the last person to know who he really is has forgotten. There is only this version of Spencer Reid now. No other exists.)

He makes the mistake during his second undergraduate degree. He’s just turned eighteen but he is already a doctor and, fortunately, this alienates him from most of his peers, but someone manages to slide past his defences. Ethan Miller is twenty, in the second year of his (first) undergraduate degree in Chemical Engineering, and he’s nice. Spencer doesn’t have a lot of experience with friendship, but they get on well and Ethan makes him laugh. For the first time, he feels comfortable in the presence of anyone other than his mother.

They slip into an easy friendship: waiting for each other after class — Spencer back in the undergraduate buildings now he has his first PhD under his belt — and going out for ice cream and pizza and Thai food. Ethan goes to parties while Spencer studies, and then they reconvene to watch Doctor Who and play cards.

For almost a year, Spencer keeps his secret carefully locked up, hidden behind the mask he’s perfected after so many years. Even though he’s eighteen, nearly nineteen now, he doesn’t try and explore that side of himself. No, that’s far too risky. He doesn’t try and pretend any other way either, he just stays silent and lets people’s assumptions lie for him, but he can’t help the longing that claws up his throat when he locks eyes with a passing guy on campus. One time, he’d seen two men kiss on a bench in the city, and he’d run back to his dorm and had a panic attack. Why couldn’t he have that?

The feelings don’t stop, and he doesn’t know how to make them. He hates that he isn’t normal, but still longs for the touch of a man, the feeling of being wrapped up in strong arms, of being kissed by dry, chapped lips, and falling asleep to a heartbeat approximately 11% slower than that of a woman’s.

It’s a constant battle inside him, emotions raging, and he struggles to control it, suppress it, tame it.

He pays a sorry price.

Ethan makes him feel comfortable, and that turns out to be a detriment. He relaxes around the other boy: he tells him about growing up as a pre-teen in a high school, about how a child feels living 260 miles away from home, even about his mother’s illness.

And one day, it slips out. They’re on the beach, lying on towels as they look up at the blue sky, talking about what their futures will look like: Ethan will be a successful chemical engineer in Berlin, and Spencer will work for the FBI, profiling serial killers.

“You’ll have to marry a German girl,” he tells Ethan. “It’ll be tough to convince an American girl to move all the way to Germany as soon as you graduate.”

“Yeah, and what about you? You’ll be off fighting crime around the country, not much of a life for a family.”

“Oh, I imagine my husband will be the type to—”

“Husband?”

Spencer freezes. It shocks him as much as it shocks Ethan. He doesn’t even pay much attention to Ethan’s disgusted face and his outraged tirade. He hears slurs and insults, hears him say that he can’t believe Spencer tricked him like this, that he was probably waiting to make a move on him, that he was never to look in Ethan’s direction again, but Spencer is frozen in time.

He’s never allowed him to think much about what his personal life might look like in the future, but he’d said ‘husband’ on instinct, without thinking, and it’s clearly something he actually wants. Ethan’s words sting, but the moment brings about a realisation Spencer is thankful for; it instigates a journey of self-discovery and self-expression, of the joy of living as your true self.

He loses his first and only friend, but he gains something much more valuable. He visits gay bars — nervously sipping a non-alcoholic drink in the corner at first, before soon becoming confident enough to respond to the men who sidle up to him and ask for his name. He lets go and dances the night away, sometimes going home with one of the many dance partners he acquires during the night, sometimes heading back to his own dorm happily alone.

Makeup and dresses and skirts and heels make their way into his wardrobe, and he befriends girls and drag queens and other gay men who encourage him to be exactly the way he is. And the best part is, he never has to come out to any of them. All of them know, and that’s good enough for everyone.

The fun comes to a sad sort of slow, however, when he joins the BAU. Everyone knows law enforcement’s relationship with the LGBT community is less than adequate — Spencer’s seen it with his own eyes: butch lesbians and men in dresses getting roughed up by angry police officers for ‘lewd behaviour’ or ‘drunkenness’ when they’re just being themselves. It’s not safe for him to tell anyone, so he doesn’t.

He still goes out with his friends when he’s in town and wears makeup and dresses and crop tops when he’s at home, but presents as rigidly straight Dr Spencer Reid to his team at the BAU.

The hardest part about it is that he loves his team. He’s known Gideon for years — and he wouldn’t be surprised if he suspects something after coming over to his house unannounced one night, only to have a man other than Spencer open the door — but he settles into a comforting dynamic with Hotch. He can’t help but see him as something of a father figure, and he knows Hotch has a soft spot for him, always looking out for him and taking him under his wing without a moment’s hesitation.

Elle, JJ, and Penelope all take a shine to him, too, teasing him without a hint of malice in their tones, only the kind of playful kindness that reminds him of his mother. He forms a special bond with Penelope and they spend hours watching Doctor Who together and geeking out on all the areas their interests overlap, and the comfort he feels with her matches the comfort he’s found with his new group of queer friends.

(She doesn’t hold a candle to Ethan, he decides one night, after he’d cried at a movie she’d made him watch and she felt so bad she made him hot chocolate and jam toast and cuddled him until he felt better.)

Derek becomes a brother to him. He puts him in a headlock at least once a day — which Spencer has been reliably informed by multiple sources is a very brotherly thing to do — and teases him relentlessly, while simultaneously being fiercely protective of him. Enough so, that Spencer sometimes wonders if he even has Hotch beat in that department.

He loves his team and his team loves him. It should be simple. It is still 2003.

He comes in one morning late for a briefing, his shirt buttoned wrong and his hair is a mess, and he’s fairly sure that his attempt to cover the hickey at the base of his neck with concealer has been ultimately unsuccessful. It’s obvious why he’s late. Gideon is too engrossed in the case file to notice, but Hotch raises an eyebrow, an amused look on his face as everyone else immediately takes to teasing him.

“Who’s the lucky lady, pretty boy?”

Elle raises an eyebrow to match Derek’s shit-eating grin, “Someone definitely got some strange last night.”

“When do we get to meet her, Spence?” JJ asks, smirking as he takes a seat.

He’s bright red — as if he needed to look any more debauched — and Spencer tries to ignore the hurt that seizes his chest at the reminder of his need to stay quiet. This team respects him, and he can’t throw that away just because Spencer gets too comfortable.

God, he wishes Penelope was here.

“None of your business,” he mutters, trying to keep his tone light. He fails.

Naturally, Hotch notices and swiftly moves the briefing on, and Spencer keeps his gaze locked on the case file, not missing the absence of a reprimand from his superior. He’s constantly thankful for the older man, but in this moment, he wishes he could hug him.

(A voice that sounds dangerously close to Ethan’s rises up and taunts him in his ear: he wouldn’t want a dirty homo like you anywhere near him—)

Derek doesn’t let up on the case, continuing to bug him about the special lady in his life. He does concede that it could’ve been a one night stand, which is one front he’s right on, but a couple more concessions are necessary before Derek comes close to the truth of last night.

Eventually, Derek stops, and Spencer notes that the cessation of comments comes suspiciously close to the last time Derek and Hotch were alone together. He doesn’t have it in him to feel angry at Hotch for stepping in when he had it handled; doesn’t have the energy to act as though his pride is wounded, because really, neither of those things are true, and he doesn’t need to add another item to ‘Spencer Reid’s List of Things He Pretends to Be.’

The situation is forgotten, and time moves on.

Things change when he finds his first proper boyfriend. He doesn’t know what he was expecting, but it certainly wasn’t the giddying rush of emotions it turns out to be, and Spencer spends his days smiling as he daydreams his time away.

His name is Oscar Wilkins, a History professor at Georgetown University, and Spencer falls quickly in love with him. Ever since their mutual friend had introduced them at a gay bar one evening, they’d spent all their free time together. He’s kind and gentle and understanding of Spencer’s hectic and unpredictable job, and he finally has the chance to experience everything he quietly and shamefully longed for as a teenager.

The only downside is the silent breaking of Spencer’s heart that the most important people in his life can’t meet his boyfriend. He longs to show Oscar off, to hold hands in front of his team, lean up to press a tender kiss to Oscar’s lips. He wants to put a framed picture of the two of them at the Washington Monument on his desk to remind him of why he needs to get through the hard days; he doesn’t want to have to sneak out of the hotel room he shares with Derek to whisper hushed, loving goodnights over the phone.

But he’s too scared. Too cowardly.

It’s different being who he is with his gay group of friends littered with wlws and drag queens and other gay and bisexual guys. They understand.

But Derek and Hotch are two extremely masculine, alpha men: Derek’s a ladies’ man and Hotch is married to a woman he met in college with a baby on the way and both have a strong and dominant energy that still sometimes manages to intimidate Spencer even after all these years. And Elle and JJ are lovely — some of his closest friends, really — but sometimes they remind him a little too much of the mean girls he went to high school with.

The hardest person to keep his secret from, though, is Penelope. She’s his best friend and he desperately wants to give her all of him, but he’s so scared. He’s lost a best friend to this secret before, and even though he’s certain she’d be fine with it, what if she accidentally let it slip to Derek? What if Hotch found out and didn’t see him in the same light anymore? What if the girls started teasing him? What if Gideon didn’t want to mentor him anymore?

The fear paralyses him. And it’s a cycle he doesn’t know how to break.

Fear, though, doesn't stop everyone from noticing his daydreaming, his dopey smile when he checks his messages, his urgency to get home where he would’ve stayed until the small hours of the morning before. As excellent as he is at hiding his sexuality, he’s fucking terrible at hiding the fact that he’s in love: it was easy enough to pretend he was straight, but hiding something this all-consuming is an impossible ask.

Derek comes over to perch on the edge of his desk one afternoon, sighing as he sits down. “Pretty boy, this is getting ridiculous,” he says, snatching Spencer’s attention away from his phone. “You’ve been grinning like an idiot for the last twenty minutes as you’ve texted Future Mrs Reid. When are we going to meet her?”

(He hates the new nickname the team has given his mystery significant other, although Oscar had found it hilarious. “It’s funny because when we get married, we’ll hardly be able to tell,” he’d argued through his laughter. “Neither of us will change our name because of our academic profiles, and we’ll both still be ‘Dr’. Our wedding rings will be the only indicator.”

Spencer hadn’t argued back, because he’d been too tongue-tied and flushed pink at Oscar’s use of ‘when’ in regards to their hypothetical nuptials. It was only made bearable by Oscar kissing him gently and tucking him under his arm, not embarrassing him any further as Spencer had sort of anticipated, warmth settling over his chest at the thought of their future together.)

“You won’t,” he replies, perhaps a little too curtly.

Derek starts at that, clearly not expecting it. He definitely should’ve tried to play it off as a joke. “What— should I be offended, pretty boy?”

You wouldn’t call me that if you knew who I really am.

“That’s up to you, Derek,” he says calmly, although he still can’t meet his eyes, “but you won’t meet the ‘Future Mrs Reid, so I think it would probably be best if you left it alone.”

“Damn,” Derek mutters under his breath, clearly pissed off and probably more hurt than Spencer ever intended. “Suit yourself.”

And with that, he gets up and leaves his desk. Spencer’s only solace is the text message he sees on his phone when he picks it back up: I love you so much. You know that, right?

The light-hearted ridicule comes to an abrupt halt after the incident with Derek, and it’s clear that he had been the biggest contributor to the teasing. He’s thankful that the jokes have stopped, but he wishes desperately that it didn’t come with the growing distance between him and his team. Loneliness takes the place of his previous irritated anxiety, and he isn’t sure what’s worse.

It all comes to a head at the end of a case in Michigan. They’re stuck in the lounge of the small inn they’d stayed in the last few days, a snowstorm having blocked them in and grounded the jet, although Gideon had long since retreated to his room. The fire’s going and they’re the only guests around, so it’s cosy enough, but Spencer can’t help but feel sick at the idea of another night away from home.

It’s only been two weeks since he’d snapped at Derek, but the chasm between him and the team is only widening with each passing day. He knows it’s not a case of ‘pick a side’, but the team’s morale relies on light-hearted banter and teasing, and him not being a part of that anymore has only brewed awkwardness. Everyone’s trying to give him space when space is the last thing he wants.

Oscar’s keeping him company over the phone at least, but it’s not quite enough to quell the loneliness swimming around his stomach, and the 'discrete' sideways looks he gets from the team only make him feel worse.

“At least it’s nice and toasty in here,” JJ sighs as she takes a sip of the hot chocolate the kindly inn owner had made for them all.

Elle hums in agreement. “There are worse places to be grounded.”

“I dunno, man, I just wanna get home,” Derek says, not taking his eyes off the fire. Spencer can’t help but agree.

“Oh, come on,” Hotch muses, considerably more jovial now the case is over, “we’re here, and that’s not going to change any time soon. We should make the most of it.”

“It’s at least nice to be somewhere sort-of Christmassy now it’s December,” Elle points out. “We could be stuck in a dingy police station like we probably will be next week.”

“Ooh, I noticed that Jemimah and Kiran started planning the Christmas party last week,” JJ says, smiling at them. “I offered my help, but they seem to have it covered.”

Hotch raises an eyebrow“That’s probably a good thing. You don’t need more work on your plate.”

“Not gonna argue with that,” she murmurs, smiling as she brings her mug to her lips again.

Spencer doesn’t miss that Derek is still stewing on the opposite side of the room.

“Are you looking forward to the Christmas party, Spencer? Will you come?” Hotch asks, clearly trying to rope him into the conversation, which he appreciates. He’s been making a lot of effort with him the past few weeks, and it’s just about the only thing that’s getting him through each day.

Before he can reply, though, Derek erupts from the other side of the room; an already pissed-off man being pushed over the edge. “He won’t even let us meet his fucking girlfriend, Hotch, he’s not gonna want to come to the Christmas party!” he yells, throwing his hands in the air as he glares at Spencer with a stormy expression raging across his face.

Suddenly, Spencer can’t stay silent anymore, and his retort shocks himself just as much as it does everyone else. “I don’t have a girlfriend!”

It might be the loudest he’s ever shouted in his whole life. He’s always been quiet and restrained, the type to state his feelings as calmly as possible no matter how he’s feeling on the inside. Even in the biggest fight he’s had with Oscar, his voice was barely loud enough to qualify as a shout.

There’s a brief stunned silence, but Derek quickly slices his way through it, voice raising to meet Spencer’s fiery emotion, fierce and loud. “Oh, don’t even go there, Reid, you’re really gonna try and argue that? You’re gonna lie about her as well as not let us meet her? What a boyfriend you are.”

“I don’t! I don’t have a girlfriend!” he repeats, voice catching this time as tears rise unbidden to the backs of his eyes and all the emotions of the journey he’s taken with his sexuality over the years flood him in a wave of intensity he’s not prepared for.

“You’re fucking lying—!”

“I have a boyfriend!” he yells. “Alright? I have a boyfriend. I’m gay.”

The anger and emotion quickly dissipates, and he’s left standing alone in front of the team he’s put so much effort into hiding this from, watching shock spell out across everyone’s expressions. He’s never felt smaller than he does in that moment, and he quickly grabs his phone before running upstairs to his room, locking the door behind him.

“Oh God, Oscar, I fucked up so bad,” he cries over the phone as soon as his boyfriend picks up.

“Hey, hey, breathe, baby,” Oscar says gently, but Spencer can hear the anxious concern in his voice, “it’s gonna be okay, I promise. I’m here. Do you want to tell me what happened?”

“I just— Oh God, I just told the team.” A new wave of horror rolls over him as he realises what he’s done. Times might be changing, but it’s still only 2006, and he doesn’t know each and every nuance of his team members’ political positions and, fuck, he hates that his existence is a fucking political position.

Oscar’s been so understanding of his reluctance to not tell the team, even though Spencer’s met pretty much everyone in his life. He isn’t sure what he’s done to earn such a gracious and understanding boyfriend, but he’s not about to question it.

“Baby, I know it’s scary, and I know you’re really worked up right now,” he counsels, voice soft and reassuring, using the nickname he knows Spencer loves the most to make him feel as safe as he can from 700 miles away, “but it’s probably not as bad as you think. From what you’ve told me about the team, they love you so much, and even in the case that in the past they've had some issue with gay people, I can't imagine they’d ever actually think of you any differently when it comes down to it, Spencer.”

He’s crying too hard to reply, and Oscar understands immediately, gently transitioning into a story about his day that slowly starts to calm him down, and by the time he’s wrapping it up, his tears are starting to subside.

“Thank you, Ozzy,” he whispers into the phone, lifting himself up off the floor and making his way to sit on the bed instead.

“You know I’d do anything for you, sweetheart,” he murmurs warmly. “Do you want me to stay on the phone for a bit?”

“Yes please,” he whispers again, holding it as close to himself as possible, drawing all the comfort he can from his boyfriend’s voice.

He lies there listening to Oscar’s voice and trying not to think about the disaster downstairs for a good ten minutes before there’s a tap at the door.

“Oz, there’s someone here,” he says, voice panicked.

“I think you should probably speak to them, baby,” he urges. “I’ll stay on the phone with you while you do, if you like?”

“Please.” He gets up from the bed gingerly, keeping his phone tightly gripped in his right hand as he slowly unlocks the door with his left, revealing Hotch on the other side.

“Hey, Spencer. Do you mind if I come in?”

He’s riddled with nerves, but Hotch is smiling warmly, and he’s never said a harsh word to Spencer, so he steps aside and lets him into his room.

Hotch quickly notices the phone in his hand, visibly still on a call. “Is that your boyfriend?”

Spencer nods.

“Do you mind if I talk to him?”

His brows knit in confusion and his lips part slightly in surprise, but it’s all he can do to hand the phone over, watching Hotch carefully.

“Hi, Spencer tells me this is his boyfriend?” Hotch inquires politely into the phone, his tone still warm. “I’m Hotch, Spencer’s boss.”

He can vaguely hear Oscar speaking on the other end of the line, and he worries slightly that Oscar will somehow give away the familial feelings he holds for Hotch, but the conversation doesn’t last long enough for the anxiety to really take over.

“Everything’s fine here, I just want to have a conversation with Spencer, so is it alright if we hang up and I talk to him alone for a minute? He can call you straight back afterwards.” After a brief pause in which Oscar says something, Hotch looks back up at him. “Are you okay with that, Spencer?”

He nods hesitantly, and Hotch says a quick goodbye to Oscar before surging forwards and wrapping Spencer in a hug. It catches him off guard, but he doesn’t waste any time in burying his face into Hotch’s neck and soaking in the comfort and warmth that always radiates from his father figure.

“Come on,” Hotch says softly as they pull away a good minute or so later, “let’s sit down, shall we?”

“You’re not mad?” Spencer can’t help but ask, the question burning his tongue as anxiety — however quietened from Hotch’s hug — still swims around in his stomach.

“There are many things that could make me mad, Spencer,” he says earnestly, “but this is not one of them. I would never be angry at you for being who you are, okay? I might… I might be overstepping here, and if I am, then tell me and I’ll back off, but I’ve always seen you as a mentee, and over the years that’s developed— well, I see you more as a son these days. And part of that is wanting to protect and support you no matter what you do or say or who you are.”

Spencer wastes no time in diving back in for a hug, clinging onto Hotch for dear life as he hugs back, rubbing his back gently.

“I’m so sorry you didn’t feel like you could tell us sooner, Spencer,” he says in a voice soft with affection and regret. “But I’m so glad you’ve told us now.”

He only presses closer at that, tears springing back to his eyes. “I didn’t want to lose you.” He knows what he’s implying, and even in a roundabout way, he’s glad he’s telling Hotch.

“Oh, Spence,” he sighs sadly, “you couldn’t do a single thing to lose me. I’m in it for the long haul.”

“Really?” he asks, hating how insecure he sounds.

“Really,” Hotch promises, pulling away as Spencer does. “Now, you have a whole team of agents downstairs who are feeling very sorry for themselves and really want to see you.”

Nausea rolls in his stomach and panic springs back up as he looks at Hotch, desperate for some sort of grounding. “Are they angry at me? Do they hate me now?”

“No one hates you, Spencer,” he says firmly. “I promise you that. Everyone just wishes that they’d made you feel more welcome and comfortable. We all hate that you felt you had to lock up something so integral to who you are, and we can’t help but feel we played a part in it.”

“No,” he protests — the last thing he wants is family blaming themselves when it has nothing to do with them, “it’s not your fault, it’s just…”

Hotch nods. “I understand, it’s okay. Now, do you want to go down and see them? You don’t have to if you don’t want to, but it might help ease your mind to see that they really don’t hate you.”

Spencer pauses, taking a moment to think. “Can I see Derek first?”

“Of course,” Hotch says understandingly, and the comforting smile that crosses his face makes Spencer feel safe and taken care of. “I’ll send him up?”

Spencer nods and Hotch hugs him once more before leaving the room almost reluctantly. He wastes no time in picking up his phone and sending a text to Oscar. You were right. Hotch is fine. He’s just sending Derek up before I go and see the team but he says that no one’s angry and I think I believe him. Thank you, Oscar. I love you.

Not even half a minute goes past before his phone lights up with a text back. I’m so glad, baby. Call me later, okay? I want to make sure you’re okay before I go to bed. I love you more.

Before Spencer can argue that actually, he is the one more in love with the other, a hesitant knock sounds on his door. Nerves suddenly flip his stomach, and he clenches and unclenches his fists a couple of times before forcing himself to cross the room, revealing a very worried and regretful-looking Derek.

“Oh, pretty boy,” he says sadly, before crushing Spencer in a warm and tender hug. Immediately, he relaxes into the arms of one of his best friends, and relief courses through his blood at Derek’s reaction. “I am so sorry that I ever made you feel like you couldn’t tell me that you were gay or had a boyfriend. That’s completely on me. I don’t care who you love, Spencer, I just want you to be happy, okay? And if this guy makes you happy, then that’s fine by me. But if he ever lays a hand on you or—”

“Derek, Derek,” he laughs, “it’s fine I get it. Thank you, though, I’m… I’m sorry I couldn’t tell you earlier and for snapping at you in the bullpen that time…”

“I understand, Spence,” he promises. “It’s in the past, okay? And I’m sorry for pushing so hard. I mean, I’d love to meet him but if you don’t feel comfortable or you don’t want to, that’s fine, too. It’s your life, man.”

“No, I… I think I want you guys to meet him. It’s been so hard to keep him away from the people I consider my family, you know?”

“Yeah, I know. Maybe after Christmas, we can all have dinner or something.”

Spencer smiles shyly. “Well, Oscar’s a great cook, so I reckon we could work something out.”

Derek grins, throwing an arm around his shoulders as he immediately jumps back into teasing him as they make their way to the door to go downstairs and see the rest of the team. “Ooh, lover boy’s got him a chef, hey? What else does this Oscar have going for him?”

Spencer chatters eagerly about his boyfriend to Derek, barely skipping a beat when he joins everyone downstairs, his friends taking his cues and joining in with the conversation seamlessly. He’s had enough fuss for one night, and the warmth and understanding on everyone’s faces tells him everything he needs to know.

“Do you have any pictures of him?” JJ asks, raising an eyebrow with eager expectancy as they all settle back into their seats by the fire, a warm and unbelievably happy feeling settling in Spencer’s stomach.

He blushes, digging out his phone from his pocket and unlocking it. “More than a few, I think.”

He finds the most recent picture of his boyfriend — a candid shot of him cooking in the kitchen, spatula aloft, and a huge grin on his face — and hands the phone around.

“Oh wow, you like them buff, huh, pretty boy?” Derek teases as soon as he gets his hands on it, and Spencer’s stomach twists in a sudden bout of fear, expecting to see some hesitancy or even disgust on his friend’s face. What if he thinks that Spencer has a crush on him? What if he’s uncomfortable around him now?

But if Derek’s having any of those thoughts, they don’t show on his face. He’s smiling widely and openly, all the pent-up anxiety and frustration borne from hurt gone from his body language, and he looks completely comfortable sat next to Spencer, his arm stretched out behind him on the back of the sofa.

They sit happily around the fire for a couple of hours, settling into a happy, intimate familiarity Spencer hadn’t realised was missing when he was hiding something so integral to his being from his family, and he’s still smiling when they finally part ways to head to bed, the clock ticking closer and closer to 1 am.

He gets ready for bed quickly, brushing his teeth and throwing on the top he’d stolen from Oscar the first time he’d stayed at his place; a welcome change from his worn and wrinkled suit. As soon as his teeth are brushed and the lights are all off except for his bedside lamp, he pulls out his phone, knowing there’s one more thing he has to do before he goes to sleep.

“Spencer?” Penelope’s voice sounds down the line, clearly concerned. “It’s almost 2 am here, are you okay?”

“I’m gay,” he says, getting straight to the point. The main reason he ever kept it from her was because of his fear of it accidentally getting out to the team rather than fear over her reaction. After all, multiple of his drag queen friends are also hers.

“Oh my God,” she says in that small voice she uses when she’s not actually talking to you, before finally actually replying to me. “Spencer, I’m so happy you told me!”

He doesn’t miss her choice of words, or the way she says them and he tilts his head suspiciously. “You already knew, didn’t you?”

She sighs. “Yeah. I’m sorry, a couple of months ago I saw a text from Oscar on your phone when you went to the bathroom during one of our Doctor Who marathons, and it wasn’t hard to figure out the relationship.”

“And… wait, you’re not mad at me for not telling you sooner?”

“Spencer! Of course not. I was waiting for you to be comfortable enough to share it with me. I felt awful that I knew without your consent but I didn’t want to tell you because I didn’t want to catch you off guard or make you feel uncomfortable. It’s fine that you waited, baby genius, I’m just so happy you told me now. What finally gave you the courage?”

“Well, it might have slipped out in front of the team this evening,” he admits sheepishly, “and the only reason I never told you was because I was scared that it would slip out somehow — accidentally, of course, I didn’t think you’d tell anyone on purpose — and now everyone knows. It’s been killing me not to tell you, Penelope, it really has because I love you so much and you’re my best friend and I trust you with my life, it’s just…”

“Whoa, slow down, Spence,” she laughs fondly, “you don’t have to explain yourself to me, I understand. But I’m glad you finally told everyone and you can be yourself completely with us, now. We all love you no matter what, you know that right?”

“I do now.”

“Good. You should get some sleep, baby boy, it’s late and you’ve had an emotional evening.”

Spencer smiles. “Yeah, I know. You should, too, Pen. I’ll see you when we can finally make it home, okay? Love you.”

“Love you, too, 187,” she says softly, and Spencer can hear the smile in her voice. “Goodnight.”

As soon as he hangs up, he settles down into the bed, turning off the light and pulling the duvet up over his shoulders before dialling one more number.

“Hey, baby,” Oscar says, voice as gentle and caring as it always is, although thicker with tiredness now. “I take it everything went okay?”

“Yeah,” Spencer murmurs, already feeling tired as the safety he always feels at the sound of Oscar’s voice settles into the fibres of his being. “It went so well. I can’t wait for you to meet everyone.���

“I can’t wait either, sweetheart. Are you in bed now?”

“Yeah,” he sighs. “Can you talk to me as I fall asleep?”

“Anything for you, Spence,” he says softly, before transitioning seamlessly into a story about the professors on campus, and his gentle comfort and the knowledge of the unconditional love his family has for him finally lulls Spencer into the best sleep he’s had in weeks.

taglist : @criminalmindsvibez @moreidstrobed @suburban--gothic @strippersenseii @takeyourleap-of-faith @negativefouriq @makaylajadewrites @iamrenstark @livrere-blue @hotchseyebrows @reidology @i-like-buttons @spencerspecifics @bau-gremlin @hotchedyke @tobias-hankel @goobzoop @marsjareau @garcias-bitch @oliverbrnch @physics-magic @sbeno22 @temily @enbyspencer @im-autistic @anxious-enby @kuolonsyoja @reidreids (add yourself to my taglist via this form!!)

[lochnessies]

ok here’s a dissection of a post an anon sent me the link to and bc i have the worst time management possible and i completely forgot i had it lol so sorry anon here you go ❤️🧡💛💚💙💜

I am constantly thinking about how Edelgard just doesn’t seem designed to appeal to cishet men.

i hate to be the one to break this news to you op but just because a character doesn’t show skin like charlotte fire emblem doesn’t mean she isn’t designed to pander to men. she’s very much designed to pander to the (majority straight male) player base with her ‘uwu i only trust you professor omg did u see that rat? pls don’t look at my painting of you uwu’.

then there’s the whole edelgard c support in japanese where byleth makes reference to having come to her room for ‘yobi’ which is

there’s also the scene where byleth can make an unsolicited comment about edelgard’s breast size. which is… uhh… gross.

edelgard also has cipher cards that go from slightly fanserviceie to full on suggestive

and also her breast armor that my sister relentlessly mocked lol

and here’s a chart from the 3h subreddit about gender/sexually in regards to edelgard and edeleth. it’s extremely straight male. op might have just overlooked this since they probably don’t go on reddit and stay on tumblr (which unlike reddit is mostly female and has a high lgbt demographic).

Like the joke is that Bleagles is the Gay House, but everything about her feels deliberately non-hetero.

i don’t like where this is going…

She’s dressed in sharp outfits covering her upper body, with proportions that don’t seem exaggerated.

so women who cover up must be lgbt because straight women are naturally more revealing? oh y i k e s

Her poise and the way she effortlessly flourishes her axe exhibits an air of coolness. While titties out =/= character of no substance, Edelgard being dressed more modestly suggests that she wasn’t designed with male-centred fanservice in mind.

“titties don’t equal no substance but here’s my post on how she has more substance because she doesn’t show titties” ok

And she still looks absolutely stunning in her more modest attire (like seriously, I haven’t felt the need to return to cosplay in years but I want to do her academy look so bad). 

yes she does. amazing design 10/10. i have a feeling this is the only part i’m going to agree with

Edelgard is intense. She does not mince her words and she is constantly evaluating you. Though she tries, she has a difficult time understanding her peers initially. Early on, she talks about how she would sacrifice herself and others in the name of some greater good. She is terrible at communicating with her peers. She has to be seen as infallible. Her heart has been hardened for years and she assumes she has to stay that way. She also assumes everyone mourns the same way she does - which is why she (kind of insensitively) insists you move on when Jeralt dies. Because to her, grief has to be channeled towards action, or else you’ll get lost in it. This attitude is demonstrated time and time again as she presses on. It can make her come off as cold and unfeeling - but look closer, and she’s anything but.

don’t really have anything to say at this part. it is pretty on the nose though i would slightly disagree with that last sentence a bit. i wouldn’t say she’s as i feeling as hubert is but all of her talks of the war boil down to how she feels and never her victims.

Her story is ultimately about her realizing that to achieve her goals, she needs to let people in and allow herself to want things like cakes and tea parties and lazy days in peace. 

????? what ????? her goals include imperialism, ethnic and religious targeting. her story is about having a set of beliefs and mowing down anybody who stands in her way. that has nothing to do with tea, friends, and lazy days. also am i supposed to be sad that she has to get up everyday and work? i do that and i didn’t start a war and only throw a pity party for myself

The game leaves the player guessing as to how involved the Flame Emperor was in each Part I event, makes you feel hurt by her betrayal, and leaves you with a choice: do you follow the orders of the woman who tried to make you a god without your consent, or a young girl with questionable morals about to throw the world into upheaval?

this isn’t an ideal situation but i think i’m going to stick with the woman who tried to make me a god since i’m not selfish and i know it’s not only my desires and life at stake here. plus the green hair slaps ngl

Choosing her of your own volition (not for completionist reasons) requires the basic ability to sympathize with a woman’s pain. It also requires the player to read beyond her unwavering will and dubious methods to get a sense of how deep that pain goes and how the theme of humanity relates to her differently in each route.

i’m not going to touch this since @nilsh13 made a post on it that i’ll link here. i agree with everything he said so to repeat it would be redundant.

The player must be able to see a young woman’s desperate resolve to change the world so it stops exploiting people and ruining lives. They must be able to accept the fact that women can make the same morally wrong and ambivalent decisions that complicated male characters get to make all the time and still be the one to root for.

literally the same reason i love rhea lol her goddess experiments are dubious at best but her reasons are the same you mentioned. i would say that i like this quality in edelgard too if her ending, while bloody, actually ended in a good outcome for fodlan.

This is not unique to LGBT+ people, but this population is likely to understand why Edelgard feels so strongly about why she has to change the system. 

i understand wanting to change a system, i really do. like edelgard, i’m an opinionated bisexual woman (who’s also physically disabled) so yeah i get it. and change can be good but it can also be terrible. even if the church was the boogeyman edelgard treats it as she still replaces it with her own shit regime. so it’s the same circus just with a new conductor.

I don’t think “Edelgard gets undue criticism because she’s a woman” captures the full picture. An important aspect of her treatment by certain parts of the fandom is that she’s a radical woman.

or maybe she does some pretty fucked up shit and it goes unacknowledged in her own route. and yeah she’s radical but in all the worst ways.

Her hatred of the Church and the Crest system resonates way harder with people who have been hurt by institutions that are deeply engrained in our society. 

and what about people who have been hurt by systems where their ‘merit’ didn’t measure up and they were left behind? what about people from nations that experienced imperialism?

Siding with her means siding against the Church - which, while different from real world religious institutions, still invokes language about “sin” and “punishment.

yeah the ‘sins’ and ‘punishments’ are used in relation to attempted murders which i think everybody can agree is a bad thing that needs to be condemned.

Choosing Edelgard will likely hit different if homophobic and transphobic Christians used that rhetoric against you.

it has literally nothing to do with ‘sins’ and ‘punishments’ in regards to being gay or trans. that’s you projecting. especially since the church has 2 canon gay characters and two coded ones.

like i can understand why having a church condemn you can be uncomfortable but i’m begging you to please look at the context of what’s happening.

I’m willing to go out on a limb and say that the reason F/F Edeleth is the more popular iteration of that ship because most people who would choose to S-support Edelgard are LGBT+ themselves. This is not a revelation. To anyone in the community, it’s fairly obvious. 

i was talking to nilish and he said

so yeah… while there is definitely sapphic femleth shippers out there, there’s still a whole lot of weird fetishizing going on from straight men about edelgard.

Crimson Flower was my first route. I went into the game knowing absolutely nothing. I played it during the last week of 2020 and hoo boy was it cathartic. 

i can tell. this wasn’t supposed to be a dig but it came out that way and i’m not taking it out.

I felt like I was living out a gay revolution power fantasy, where I could truly change systems of oppression while fighting alongside a group of troubled students I’d shaped the lives of.

so a gay revolution power fantasy (cringe) goes hand in hand with imperialism and installing a dictatorship? also the war had nothing to do with sexuality.

Through your unwavering support, Edelgard learns that she needs to be human, that she must listen to her friends, and that she’s allowed to enjoy the world she’s creating.

edelgard gets to learn how to be human all while hunting those who don’t. and she doesn’t listen fo her friends. she doesn’t even trust them. she’s willing to talk to byleth but keep the people who’s been by her side for five years in the dark about everything. and yeah she gets to enjoy her new words since she’s on top. hate to be a commoner under her rule after she burned down my village in her war.

I love this character so much.

clearly. and i honestly don’t care if somebody likes her. i do as well even if my sometimes scathing words can make it seem otherwise.

It has been six months since I first played and I am still analyzing her,

me too. please help me escape i’m losing my mind

because there’s so much depth. Yet so many people fail to see that depth and dismiss her as evil,

i mean, she does some fucked up shit that goes beyond any of the less than desirable actions of the other main characters and does an extremely poor job in trying to make herself seem innocent. i personally don’t think she’s pure evil but i completely understand where the people who say she is are coming from.

because they never had the will to understand complicated women in the first place. 

that’s big talk from somebody who implies that a gay pope is comparable to homophobic and transphobic irl religions and that leads an oppressive regime all because she uses the vague terms of sin and punishments that you have to gay power fantasy your way out of

[skamamoroma]

I Promised You The Moon - Episode 1 Thoughts - aka did John Hughes direct this and not tell us?

Oh I had to wait so long today to see episode 1 as I was working but I am so very happy I waited till I was in bed and with a cup of tea... which I then cried into four times. So that’s where I’m at. This is going to be long, I’m not even sorry in the slightest!

For ITSAY, I made so many posts about this show and how moving and beautiful it was, how the symbolism and writing was exceptional, how the music was absolutely incredible and how much I adored BK and PP’s chemistry. P’Boss’ work is special and the feel of Part 1 was a delicious kind of awkward, indie movie full of metaphors, fraught pain and emotion and pretty breathtaking storytelling of love and growth. I fell absolutely in love with Teh and Oh and their story, obsessed with Teh as a character (as I see a lot of myself in him and I love when he spirals) and I just felt utterly moved by the whole show. So I never needed Part 2. Part 1, for me, is perfect. And I certainly didn’t expect to love Part 2 as much or feel as much emotion because I just thought it wouldn’t be possible especially with a change of director and city and storyline... but I genuinely think that was a good idea after seeing Episode 1.

I just finished it and I’m kinda tear stained and the first thing I couldn’t get out of my head was just how much it reminds me of the late dear John Hughes movies from the 80s. Those of you who are a little old like me born right at the beginning of the 90s, will have been brought up on those movies filled with 80s synth music, stories of growing up, artsy camera work and filled with colour and emotion. Those movies are some of my all time favourites and I absolutely felt their influence on Episode 1 and maybe the rest of the season, I don’t know! I really wonder if P’Meen used them or was aware, hahaha. Anyway...!

But first off, I cannot, and I mean CANNOT handle the music. Part 1 really did floor me with the use of the score and how it was such a huge part of the reason it was so beautiful. Phuket Dreams has me in tears about 3 notes in... so cue me crying at the remixes of the old score with 80s synth sounds and almost Dream Pop echoy sounds. That right there is my jam, my absolute favourite music and the way IPYTM is so clearly going to be full of it makes my heart very happy. Especially those last scenes with Oh, that sweeping 80s style music taking him from heartbroken pain to dancing to forget had John Hughes all over it and just felt so impactful. So I will bang on every week about the music I’m sure.

As for the beginning and the casual buying of condoms (yesssss god damn Nadao, thank you for safe sex lessons for LGBT+ youth and a nod to actual sexual expression, I’m mega proud) leading into the way Hoon and Suri were involved (they didn’t give me Tuty 😭) in transferring Teh, it felt like such a gorgeous transfer from ITSAY vibes to IPYTM... watching Teh’s mamma so proud, Hoon watching over him as always and then gently leading into the first moment that made me cry...

How dare they put a remix of the old score over Teh being told by his mamma that she accepts him as he is so casually and softly, in a way that not only lets Teh know he’s loved but welcomes Oh as someone she cares about deeply and is happy being someone her son loves. It was beautifully done and I couldn’t help but think of Teh’s teary face on the Cape at the end of Episode 5 and thinking how proud I am of him. The way Hoon stroked his hair - help.

Teh. Now I made no secret of the fact that I loved every moment of watching Teh go through it in Part 1, how his very physicality and struggle played out especially him writhing all over his rug! But we had to see him grow. He isn’t the same boy he was but he still feels like Teh, just a little more comfortable, a little more mature in some ways and just READY for life. He feels tentative but also prepared to grow more and I just adore him. Oh, on the other hand, the one who was much more secure in himself in terms of his self and sexuality in Part 1 is now absolutely thrown into the unknown and isn’t handling it well.

Oh was established so beautifully as a Phuket boy. His name is rooted in his home, he lives in shorts and by the sea, he’s shaped by that place and what it means to him... his signature scent is coconut! He literally embodies Phuket... so it doesn’t in any way surprise me that we are watching him flounder and feel lost. It feels so human and so many moments felt so moving. When he told Teh that the best part of his day was seeing him, when he imagined the waves on his mind, when he listened to his mamma talk about the coastal weather... it’s hardly surprising that he cried as he was asked to explain his name. That was the second moment that got me. I was a wreck. Watching him break down and fall to pieces infront of total strangers just because he was recounting the meaning of his name, the foundation of who he is, the thing he misses to very much... he doesn’t fit, he doesn’t feel at home and he didn’t feel himself. It was beautifully done, for me. I caught my breath the second he started crying because it was so utterly human and raw. I have felt the way he does and recognised every second on his face. PP has come so so far with his acting.

Then we get the mention of Yongjian. NOW SOMEONE TELL ME IS THAT TEH AS YONGJIAN IN THE TITLES? If so, how dare they spoil it?! I am going to weep uncontrollably if Teh gets his dream. But the way Teh spoke of their future, the way he tried to recreate their past with Yongjian’s speech. Their entire history as friends and boyfriends is rooted in that story, that character, the idea of being Male protagonists... and Teh is so sure of their future. Also, you cannot also avoid the meta of it all with BK and PP. That moment and their words felt so personal to them too and their own real lives!

Do not even start with how their first kiss in Phuket was underwater and arguably their first kiss in Bangkok is the same albeit in public. DO NOT LET ME THINK ABOUT THIS TOO MUCH.

The issue is that, Part 1 set out for us how they ended up where they are. Oh fell into acting, it was never his dream from the start. Then it all became a fight, a thing to win from his rival and in the end a thing to prove. We haven’t really ever see Oh show a passion for the stage and acting, not really. He worked so hard to get his place in Uni but there’s so much irony at play. Their entire story of rivalry has actually caused this current situation. Oh “won” the coveted Uni spot (helped in part by Teh) and Teh “lost” and was making do. But we see how that’s not how life goes. Oh never really felt he knew what he wanted and so he just ploughed on. He’s now in a situation where he has to start deciding, has to be his own person and he’s just... lost. I can’t wait to see him find it whatever it may be! The difference with Teh is that he may not have got his number 1 desire but his passion is ENOUGH. He loves what he’s doing and that moment where Khim (is that her name, I forget now, it’s so late, but Goy’s character) was explaining the lights was gorgeous. Teh’s passion was ignited, you could see that “oh wow” moment... and you can see the difference in how they’re going to progress, Teh didn’t need the top Uni because his passion can carry him and will help him succeed whereas Oh doesn’t know what his passion is and perhaps he’s where he is for the wrong reasons after all. The story telling is lovely to me, if completely heartbreaking.

The tears came again at “but I’ve already given so much of our time to other people”. Oh the tears. The boat scene from ITSAY is my favourite scene of the show and that line is one of the most beautiful bits of writing I’ve encountered for a long while... and to see Teh use it and remember it and effectively set out the issue they’re facing was heartbreaking. They made that promise on the boat and they’re breaking it. Oh-aew is trying to be what he thinks Teh needs and Teh is wide eyed and filled with this new world and getting to indulge his passions. They’re both so human and both trying the best way they know but they’re so young and so unsure and have so little life experience that they don’t know how to be adults or how to manage all of this stuff. They know they care and love and are each other’s person but they have such a lot to learn.

So the introduction of Q and the boys... and let me say they’re glorious... feels both beautiful and tragic because they look like they will be accepting and also potentially LGBT+ themselves or maybe Q (I see your gorgeous painted nails, sweetheart and the way you didn’t question Oh saying “partner��� for a second)... but also they’re what Oh is using to fill the time he promised to Teh. It’s not Oh’s fault. He deserves friendship and a world of his own too but he was relying so much on the familiarity of Teh and Teh’s presence to keep him grounded and comfortable but he can’t do that all the time. He is trying so hard to be good and thoughtful and kind that he’s not telling Teh the truth. He’s doing what he said he wouldn’t do on the boat, but we can’t blame him in the slightest, he’s the sweetest boy.

I have so much to say but I guess that’ll do for now. I really loved the episode. Yes, it’s different but I think I realise now why it needed to be. In a way I’m kinda of happy about it because ITSAY stays sacred!!!! It stays as that beautifully fraught and emotional indie movie of my heart filled with metaphorical depth. It can’t be touched as far as I’m concerned but with IPYTM it feels just as moving, just as emotional, just as impactful but in a different way that reflects maturity. I don’t think it would have worked if it still felt fraught and characterised by ITSAY vibes. They’re not kids, they’re not insecure about who they are anymore in terms of their sexuality and they are moving into adulthood.

I know it’s going to break me. Episode 1 had me genuinely crying into my tea but I also know that it had the potential for its own special brand of symbolism and meaning. We can already see some special moments which seemed to be saying way more than the words themselves like the speech on light and how we see things and the way Oh even used it himself to see a different perspective at the end. That felt really very meaningful. They’re going to need to be able to see different view points as they navigate what will probably be a shit ton of pain! They will need to adjust to the light, to their circumstances to be able to survive and for their bond to be what is important without allowing other stuff to pass into their line of sight. Oh saw nothing. Empty stage, no Teh, not even himself... he opened his eyes too soon. He needs to learn to adjust and learn how to see the world and his place in it so that when he opens his eyes he sees what he desires and has worked for and made for himself rather than emptiness.

The last thing for me is the chemistry. What more can you say other than they’re perfect? They have the most natural, enigmatic, intense and sweet chemistry. They work so beautifully together. They sell even the smallest of moments and they absolutely destroy with emotion. I just feel every second of Teh and Oh’s emotion and that is such a damn skill. Their talent, man.

So I loved it. I am going to be dreaming tearstained in 80s synth music tonight! I can’t wait for the rest to emotionally destroy me a little more.

[mashup-writing]

Somebody else by 1975 and it is sparkles-✨

It worked out well; Park Chaeyoung (Blackpink)

--------------------------------------------------

Summary: Y/N and Rosé had decided to announce their relationship, but they were gonna be extra about it.

Requested? ☑

"I remember it all too well."

--------------------٩(◕‿◕｡)۶--------------------

It was the final part of Y/N's concert and while he's used to the feeling of thousands of eyes on him, what's going to follow was something that made him extremely nervous, which says a lot. Especially when he was counting on the audience for his plan to work.

At the start of his career, he had announced that he was a Transgender man on all of his social media platforms. An action that took a lot of guts, and and an action that drew a lot of attention to him. At the rising point of his career when he was questioned about it in an interview, his answer was something that made him well known figure within the industry.

--------------------------------------------------

"Now Y/N at the very beginning of your career, you told the world that you were a trans man. That must've taken extreme bravery on your part seeing as those people who are against your community- The LGBT community, can be downright nasty and ruthless in 'Expressing' their dislike. What mae you decide to do this so early on in your time in the spotlight?"

Y/N smiles in his seat, switching from a laid back posture to one that elegantly demands attention, his next words being the ones that made him an icon amongst allies and LGBT people alike. "I am an advocate of LGBT rights before I am an artist, at the very start of my career I wanted to make it clear that I didn't want bigots to be a part of my following or an avid listener of my music and while I'm a man who values my privacy, I value honesty and transparency just as much. So if you're someone who believes that transgender people are just 'Confused' or that they're a 'Crime' against nature? Then go ahead and consider me your worst nightmare."

--------------------------------------------------

Y/N had been sitting on a chair for quite a few moments now, holding a Q&A onstage before he stands up and decides to follow through with the first part of his plan. "Alright, now today's intermission, I'm going to do a cover of my most favorite song called 'Somebody Else by The 1975'. Oh and don't worry you guys, the Q&A will still continue after this cover." The stadium fills with loud screams and cheers from the people watching as he places his mic back on its stand and goes to pick up his electric guitar. The lights dim into a sunset red as the opening notes of the music fill out through the speakers, Y/N starts singing and playing his guitar as the crowd claps along to the beat.

At the start of the second verse, Y/N takes off his guitar and takes the mic off of the stand, walking back to the guitar stand, he puts the instrument down before walking back to the front of the stage and hyping the people up to sing along with him in the pre-chorus. The entrance platform that had sunk back down starts rising as a distinctly feminine voice fills the stadium at the start of the chorus. Y/N smiles widely as the stage screens show Rosé walking towards him, offering her hand. He takes it and raises their hands up, leading the Blackpink member into a twirl, the crowd has gone wild at this point and the duo are pretty sure that somebody or multiple people in the audiences are Blinks seeing the way they've started chanting Rosé's name even without Y/N introducing her beforehand.

The bridge part comes along and the two singers alternate their lines. When the instrumental hits, Rosé takes his hands and starts dancing along to the beat, dorkily smiling and roping the man into dancing along. When the final chorus comes, Y/N and Rosé sing together, motioning for the crowd to sing along and the stadium fills with the sounds of music and the combined voices of a chanting crowd.

The song comes to an end with loud cheers for the two vocalists who are now smiling widely while catching their breaths. Y/N offers his hand to Rosé and when she takes it, the two raise their hands and perform a bow. He lets go of her hand once they've come up from the bow, turning to face her before speaking. "May I introduce, Park Chaeyoung of Blackpink everyone."

The woman in question laughs, shaking her head before going to bow once again and waving to the crowd with both hands, Y/N decides to push his luck. "Also known as Rosé of Blackpink, or Rosie, or Foodsé, or Chipm-" He runs as she jokingly tries to swat at his shoulder.

The cheers continue and the two laugh with each other before Rosè speaks to the crowd. "So how did you guys like our cover?" She's answered with loud cheers and Y/N's manager signals at the two from behind the curtain, raising both his hands up. 10 minutes left, Y/N nods at him and smiles while Rosé turns her attention back to the crowd, he gives the singers a thumbs up with a dorky smile before taking his leave. Y/N shakes his head in humor.

"I'm pretty sure I'm speaking for both me and Y/N over here when I say that we're happy to see you guys loved it." Y/N turns to Rosé to agree with her statement. Y/N speaks into the mic saying that he and Rosé will spend the last ten minutes of the concert for the Q&A. The following minutes fly by with questions aimed at Y/N, questions aimed at Rosé as well as questions aimed at both come in droves, until Y/N announce that the next question will be the last one before the event comes to an end and they have to start saying goodbye. Multiple people raise their hand, and he leaves it up to Rosé to pick who gets to ask the final question. She gives her mic to a girl in the front row, and the girl states her question.

"How did you come up with the idea to have Rosé make a special appearance for a cover? Going by your latest Instagram posts before this album dropped, it seemed like you guys were writing songs together. So we were really hyped for a collab." The fan hands the mic back to Rosé who smiles at Y/N as he takes a deep breath, steeling himself for what's to come next. The Western singer brings his mic up to his lips to answer.

"There's a pretty good reason for this cover actually. 'Somebody Else' is a song that holds special meaning for the both of us, besides being our favorite song." Y/N motion for Rosé to take the lead, and she steps closer to him before speaking. "There was a point in me and Y/N's life that we didn't know where we stood. It a point we could sort of compare to the kid's game: Tag." She looks over to the man beside her, silently asking if he wants to back out of it. Instead Y/N takes her hand, interlocks their fingers and squeezes. Go on, I'm ready.

"Long story short is that I was hung up and broken hearted over this person and he was hung up over me." Collective gasps resound through out the stadium. After all, the only thing they know about you and Rosé relationship up until this point was that she was helping you write songs. You bring your mic up to your lips and speak. "The pictures on my Instagram of her looking at the lyrics I wrote? That wasn't Rosé helping me write. That was Chaeyoung reading what I wrote about her." The crowd goes crazy over the newfound information, and Y/N's pretty sure that they miss the way he referred to her using her real name instead of her stage name. But Chaeyoung catches onto it and she smiles softly at the man.

"I can't even begin to describe how thankful I am to Y/N by the way. Staying up countless nights and listening to me ramble on about being torn up, being there for me in every single way, helping me heal and doing all of this without expecting anything in return. Such a gentleman really." The crowd collectively 'Awwwwws' and Y/N hangs his head low, hiding his blush from everyone, Rosé laughs as Y/N looks at the ceiling, composing himself before speaking.

"I would never expect anything in return from you and you don't have to thank me either, I was just doing what a friend would've done at a time like that. Anyways, I stuck by her in those times all while all I could think of afterwards was how stupid the person who broke her heart was, all while I wished I was the one she had ended up with instead of them. I never even hinted at how I felt about her in those times, much less actually tell her. I promised myself I wouldn't tell her how I felt until the time was right. I didn't want her to feel guilty or pressured at all by what I had to say." Y/N looks from the crowd infront of him to Rosé before continuing "Time passed and her heartbreak had healed. But she still wasn't ready for a relationship for a while after that whole ordeal, so I kept my promise and I waited."

"When I had told my members and Y/N that I was finally ready for another relationship- That like, I was completely okay. Y/N decided to court me instead of asking me outright to be his girlfriend. Can you believe this sap?" The crowd laughs with Rosé as Y/N's jaw hits the floor, he walks away from Rosé and heads to the other side of the stage. He crouches and points to Rosé "I was being noble, chivalrous and mind you I was trying to prove that I was boyfriend material! Then she goes and calls me a sap?! I can't believe this..." Y/N lowers the mic and shakes his head in mock disbelief. Rosé doubles over in laughter before walking over to him and resting her free hand on his shoulder.

"Yes, I'm calling you a sap because you are one. But it worked out didn't it?" She looks down at Y/N before continuing. "I gladly said yes." The crowd goes crazy, people cheering, some were jumping, and the others were speechless.

Y/N smiles, a full smile from ear to ear as he takes Chaeyoung's hand on his shoulder to bring it to his lips. "Yeah, yeah it worked out well in the end didn't it?"

--------------------٩(◕‿◕｡)۶--------------------

A/N: Damn writing in 3rd person is a TASK. I might never do it again, I hope this was good enough? I'm not too sure about the ending but I liked the idea of them announcing their relationship infront of a crowd instead of doing it via a social media post. So yeah.

[nightklok]

Kloktober Day 1 Prompt

Prompt: Favorite Character and OTP Pairing: Picklegail (Pickles the Drummer/Abigail Remeltindtdrinc) Title: The war is over and we are beginning Characters: Pickles the Drummer, Abigail Remeltindtdrinc, Eclair (cat), band members and charles are only mentioned Trigger Warnings: Very slight angst, very slight mention/discussion of trauma/PTSD. Tags: Some dark humor, mentioned trauma, discussion of trauma, fall, post galagtikon 2, hopeful/happy ending Summary: It's the first fall Pickles has realized he's lived through in years.

Author's Note: Yes this is...6 days late-But i still wanted to publish this anyway so enjoy :')

Read this fic on AO3 or read below!

The first day of fall fell on a Saturday.

And Pickles would realize it was the first time he had actually been aware of fall in years.

He couldn’t remember the last time he saw the leaves change or pumpkin picking or any of the fall activities he sparingly went to as a kid. He simply had no time, family, or desire to do any of those things as he grew older. He had the sudden moment of sadness that he had missed another fall but told himself fall was gonna come back next year and he’d just look at the leaves harder next fall. But he never did.

But now, he had the time. A lot of it. And a fresh perspective on life and just how wonderful living a quiet life was.

Getting to sleep in on a Saturday morning with the person he loved the most and having nothing else to do for the day was one of them. Normally, Abigail was the one who woke up earlier but for the weekend, it got to be the opposite. He could get up in an hour, make some breakfast and they could see about doing something together. Whether it’s going outside or staying in and watching something. But at the moment, he was content enough just sleeping.

But it wouldn’t last long sadly. Despite nothing important needing to be done for the day, he was woken up by the sound of meowing and a cat smacking his face.

Éclair, their beautiful cat they found outside a K-Mart, happened to like going on walks in the morning. And she was very persistent about her walks being exactly at 7:13 AM. It was 7:13 AM.

“C’mon, it’s Saturday,” He murmured as he pulled the blanket closer to his face, hoping that he could sleep for just a few more minutes.

But Éclair had no concept of time and would continue pawing at the sheets and when she began whining, he knew that his time sleeping in was already over. He didn’t want to wake her up and figured she deserved the extra hour of sleeping.

“Okay, okay, I’ll take you on a walk,” Pickles finally answered as he used a hand to gently push her away just so he could sit up. He was careful to not disturb Abigail but he saw her move and murmur something he couldn’t quite hear. He had to assume by the tone that she meant she was gonna do it. She always tried to even when he told her to sleep in on weekends.

“Just go back to sleep, babe, I’ll take care of it.” He answered quickly as he got out of bed but she was already sitting up.

“I’ll come with you.” She answered, rubbing the sleep out of her eyes., “Just give me a few minutes.”

There was no convincing otherwise and he was too tired himself to argue. He quickly snuck in a kiss before he got out of bed, “Alright, take your time.”

By the time he had thrown on some clothes and made himself look presentable enough, Abigail was already by the front door, kneeling down to leash Éclair. Despite them taking the same time to get ready, she looked like she had spent much more time doing it. Then again, she always looked beautiful to him regardless of how much time she spent.

He really did save the world to get to see today huh.

She stood up once she leashed the cat and turned to look at him with that small smile he always loved, “Ready to go?”

“Yeah,” He answered as he made sure he put the house keys in his pocket before opening the door to let her out first before himself. Éclair already began wandering around the front lawn, as far as her leash would go.

They were hit by a cool breeze that gently swayed the trees surrounding them, causing some of the red and orange leaves to fall gracefully onto the ground. The trees weren’t entirely turning their leaves yet but the appearance was showing much more by the day. And each day only meant another normal day. The worst was behind them.

“You sure you don’t wanna get a jacket?” She asked.

“Nah, I’ll be fine. Got my own body heat.” He answered before he pulled her slightly closer enough to feel her skin heat up by the touch, “Besides I know how you can warm me up if I get cold.”

She wanted to mention about the neighbors or anybody seeing them but there was no one around at the moment. It was just them enjoying the early morning fall, the cool breeze and quiet excitement for a new season that just begun.

“Well, are you cold now?” She asked as she pulled him a bit closer.

He didn’t say anything else but reached up to kiss her, feeling her warm lips as they pressed against his. It felt as compassionate as the other thousands of kisses they must’ve shared in their lifetime. Honestly, he could probably find the same feelings he felt kissing her when he got a first kiss; the excitement, anticipation and pure love that he got to kiss someone he loved.

Their kiss was interrupted when she felt her leash getting tugged by Éclair who had grown impatient of them. She sat as far as the leash would let her, looking up at them expectantly. Amused, they walked past their front lawn to the sidewalk but felt the leash being pulled once again. They turned around to find her sitting still, meowing impatiently.

“C’mon, wanna walk a bit more? No? Okay.” Pickles answered with a laugh as Abigail went to pick her up. Almost immediately, she climbed up on her shoulders as she always preferred.

Her idea of walking outside was to walk a few steps and one of them had to pick her up for the rest of the walk. Walking around a block required too much energy. Did they expect her to actually walk alongside them every morning? Yes. Did she never fulfill that dream? No. But they also fed into her routine and nature, it wasn’t just their house anymore after all.

There was no use in arguing with a stubborn cat. She had made her territory in Abigail’s shoulder and they simply had to go along with it. She adjusted the leash so the other end of it would hook onto the inner jacket pocket that had a small sewn in hole meant for earphones. Once she made sure that the leash was secure inside, she reached over to hold his hand who quickly took it.

They took the usual route around the block. Shoes crunched against freshly fallen leaves, the wind picked up slightly again causing the leaves around them to move gently against the wind to a new area. If Pumpkin Spice Lattes and Apple Cider weren’t a symbol that fall was approaching, it was the leaves.

Pickles did try to remember when he last fall. Was it when he was a kid? A teen, maybe? He always fled before fall approached somehow. Always ended up in an area where he could not see the seasons change and everything remained a stagnant season the whole time.

But there was nothing to run from anymore. He could stay and watch the seasons change and turn forever if he wanted to now. Is this what freedom really feels like?

“Do you wanna go grab some coffee at the coffee shop?” She asked, interrupting his thoughts.

He quickly snapped his attention back to her and nodded, “Yeah, actually, the one two blocks from here, right?”

“Yep.”

He knew she knew that something was on his mind but she thankfully didn’t say anything. She already knew enough that he would speak when he was ready and he was always thankful for being able to fill in the gaps when he couldn’t speak. And she would always be thankful when he knew what she meant to say when she could barely get a word. It was a secret language between the two that no one but them knew and it was one they were both incredibly fluent in.

The coffee shop was a mom-and-pop one located on the end of the corner. LGBT friendly (Did he ever find those kind of coffee shops growing up?) and even had a small corner of the area for younger kids to play with. It was one of the places that they always loved frequently going to-if they weren’t well known to the world, they would’ve been known pretty well to the baristas.

“I can take Éclair, you can go order for us.” Pickles said. There were seats outside and given the weather, it wouldn’t be so bad to just sit outside and drink coffee while enjoying nature.

“Alright. The usual?”

“Surprise me.”

Pickles managed to take Éclair off her shoulder and set her down when he found a seat with decent shade. He tied the leash to the pole of the table but she seemed uninterested in exploring and instead jumped on his lap, presumably to take a quick nap.

He checked his phone while he waited, trying to catch up on whatever missed emails and posts from friends he had missed. Admittedly, going from seeing his friends everyday to now once a week at most was one of the toughest things to shift to. From knowing everything that went on in their lives, his knowledge of their whereabouts now came from whatever they posted in the group chat or social media.

Toki’s selfie with Magnus over the Eiffel Tower during their backpacking in Europe route. Nathan’s blurry image of a kid playing with a gator from the alligator rescue/children’s daycare he had started with Rachel. Skwisgaar’s video of one of the songs he was working with Nathan. A prototype rollercoaster blueprint from Murderface for the Dethklok amusement parks he and Knubbler were in charge of. And Charles not sending a photo but reminding him through text about a meeting regarding his solo album.

It was a crazy feeling to have looking at the boys he had lived with for more than a decade suddenly doing their own things. Did he feel left out? Maybe things were moving too fast? Miss the old times? He didn’t really know.

He found himself staring at his screen for far too long until Abigail came back taking a seat in front of him, “They’ll be coming over in a few minutes.”

He set the phone down, “Alright, what’d you get me?”

“You did mention you wanted me to surprise, didn’t you?” She answered with a playful smile that was clear she wouldn’t go easy on him.

“C’mon, I gotta know if I’m allergic to it or not. Could very well be allergic to milk today and might not even know it.”

“Guess it’s up to you to find out then; I’m sure there’s an EpiPen somewhere.”

Of course, she wanted to ask what was wrong but she didn’t want to press him. She knew he would budge eventually, he always did, but it was just a matter of patience and hoping to catch him at the right time.

Eventually, the barista came with the tray of coffees and food she had ordered, including a puppuccino for Éclair who woke up and hopped down to get her treat when Abigail set it down to get everyone’s orders.

She set the pumpkin spiced coffee, cinnamon rolls and a breakfast sandwich in front of him. She had ordered the same pumpkin spice coffee and breakfast sandwich; she always tried to avoid desserts for breakfast but he quickly shoved in a cinnamon roll in her plate anyway, “Here it can be your cheat day.”

“But you made me macrons yesterday.” She pointed out.

“It was sugar-free. And you can’t just pass off on a warm cinnamon roll. It’s bad for the environment I saved.”

She contemplated not even long enough before agreeing. They were pretty good cinnamon rolls…, “Guess I’ll need to pay for your contributions. Alright, I’ll take it.”

Pickles grinned as he took a sip of the coffee. It was still hot but he refused to even express he burnt his tongue for the sake of looking cool, “Great, glad my hard work paid off.”

For as much as he joked around, he didn’t mention anything about what was bothering him for the rest of their breakfast.

He would mention it on the walk back home when it was Pickles’ turn to let Éclair lay on his shoulder and Abigail holding a bag of free treats that the baristas insisted they take home. A few desserts as payment for saving the world. It was well worth it.

“I forgot what fall was like.” Pickles finally said as he looked at her. He didn’t downplay his feelings by joking

“You did?” She asked.

“Yeah. It had been too long since I last saw leaves and everything else and whatever. I guess it’s making me realize how long I missed out on some things, y’know?”

She had to wonder how he even forgot about fall. Or the fact that his hair color always reminded her of it. It was the color of vibrant red autumn leaves, not quite ready to fall yet but when the sun hit it, it showed the intricate details and would even shine as bright as it sometimes. And how could she ever put that into the right words? Maybe it just wasn’t the right moment, “Nostalgia?”

“I-I guess it’s that. Yeah. Nostalgic for the old things I guess. I was too used to that life. And I’m very happy with you, I really am! I’m doing more of the things now than I did before, but it’s hard to just completely let go of the past.”

Of course, he thought she would get offended which is why he didn’t look at her. Here he was clinging to his past again like some spoiled brat. If only he didn’t open his mouth. He probably seemed so ungrateful-

But he was met instead with warm hands taking his and he looked up to a very understanding Abigail, “I understand. There’s some things I miss and feel nostalgic for too. I don’t expect you to not miss those things. These things just end up happening, it’s part of natural life.”

“I guess…it’s just a lot harder to adjust than I thought. I’m sorry if I’m just dumping this on you, though. I know that this hasn’t been easy for you either.”

It wasn’t easy when Abigail could barely sleep without getting horrific nightmares that he had stayed up most nights worrying about. It wasn’t easy when Pickles ended up getting horrific nightmares too when he came back home, and he had yet to tell her all that he dreamt about. Their future kids, grandkids even, and even the current neighborhood kids would ask for stories of their heroism. Do they even dare talk about the price that was paid for it?

It couldn’t even be said that they had overcome it. The nightmares were less frequent, yes, but they were there. All it took was one bad night to ruin a week or month even. The horrors of their past would most likely be there for the rest of their lives, looming over and ready to strike when things seemed to be better.

But they made it so far together too. What’s another mile anyway?

“It hasn’t been easy but we’re both getting there.” She paused her walking to look at him, “We made it so far together, after all. I don’t expect you to be okay the same way you don’t expect me to be okay either, right? I’m not gonna ask you to do anymore than you already are doing and what you’re doing is enough.”

“And if it’s not enough? God, what if I’m just fucking up right now? There’s no way I can just…I don’t even know what. It’s just terrifying to be falling down that dark path again.”

She watched as Éclair looked up to the leaves around them, eyes completely dilated to look at the world around her. A leaf would just brush past her, failed to be caught and it fell to the ground.

Of course the leaves would eventually be raked. Whatever wasn’t thrown out or burned would eventually become mulch for the soil. Would help provide for the soil when spring rolls around. Then everything will grow again. Everything will be okay.

“If we fall again, we start over and flourish.”

—

“What was your last memory with fall if you don’t mind my asking?” Abigail asked that evening. They sat in the living room couch, sharing a blanket as they watched Knives Out. It would quickly become a tradition for them to watch whatever fall-related movies there were just to get in the spirit.

He paused for a moment, before finally coming up with an answer, “I met you, didn’t I? We were at that fall event Cornickelson used to host. It was probably a few years before you became Dethklok’s music producer? But anyway, we were paired at the same table and I was probably awkward as fuck right then and there but you still wanted to talk to me. We went to the garden and we just ended up talking about everything. God, I felt like a teenager with their first crush when I was with you. I never got to say that your hair color reminded me of the leaves.”

[hatari-translations]

can you maybe tell us a bit more about the parties in icelandic politics? that is super interesting for me after reading your last post

Well, sure! Please bear in mind that as you may have gathered I am not unbiased, and I'm by no means the most knowledgeable person about this.

Sjálfstæðisflokkurinn (The Independence Party)

Originally founded in 1929, this party's name originally referred to independence from Denmark (achieved in 1944), but today it's just Iceland's dominant right-wing party. On other countries' scales they're fairly center-right in terms of policies; they want a strong welfare system, they're pro-immigration, they're not against LGBT rights, etc. However, they are very much the party of Iceland's rich elite establishment, and in particular have close ties to Iceland's largest corporations, and every other political scandal involves them being varying degrees of terrible, from "Independence Party minister breaking COVID restrictions" to "Independence Party minister in the Panama Papers" to "Independence Party minister's father signs a letter to 'restore the honor' of a convicted pedophile" (these three were all the same minister, who by the way still leads the party and is still finance minister) to "terrible corrupt fishing company Samherji introduced the Independence Party's health minister as 'our guy in the government' at meetings with the Namibian officials they were bribing".

The Independence Party opposes the new constitution, ostensibly because blah blah stability distractions about how changes to the constitution need to be approved through the appropriate process (yes, we know, we want that process to happen), but we all know it's really because the new constitution would have the fishing companies pay a fair price for their access to Iceland's natural resources, and that would be bad for their bottom line. They are also opposed to joining the EU.

The Independence Party has been the largest party in every single Icelandic election since it was founded except the 2009 one (which was right on the heels of another scandal - believe me, I barely scratched the surface above - as well as the 2008 financial crisis), where they managed to dip below the Social-Democratic Alliance with 23.7% of the vote, their lowest parliamentary election result ever. Historically they'd get upwards of 40% or even more of the vote; these days it's more like 25%, and this election's result of 24.4% is their second lowest ever. Even in polls days right after a huge scandal, the lowest I've ever seen the Independence Party poll at was something like 19%; that's why I've said here that 20% of the country will just vote for them no matter what. This means the Independence Party is always the most powerful party, and them not being in the government coalition is very much the exception.

Framsóknarflokkurinn (The Progressive Party)

Iceland's oldest political party, founded in 1916. Originally it was the farmers' party, and they've historically been most popular in rural areas, where they have longstanding loyalty. They're more or less center to center-right. Historically, they've formed coalitions with both the right and the left, but particularly in the past few decades they have been glued to the Independence Party in particular. They have occasional particular pet issues that they latch onto, but overall it doesn't really feel like they stand for much of anything in particular, other than wanting to maintain the status quo and be in government with (preferably) the Independence Party. They are also against the new constitution and the EU.

Vinstrihreyfingin - grænt framboð (The Left-Green Movement)

Founded in a 1999 split on the left, the Left-Greens are a left-wing party with a focus on equality and the environment, but with enough of a semi-conservative bent to have some common ground with Independence and Progressives on matters like opposing EU membership and being hesitant about the Constitutional Committee's draft constitution. A lot of their voters were very unhappy with them entering into the current coalition with the Independence Party and the Progressive Party (the former in particular); two of their MPs actually left the party after that decision, reducing but not destroying the government's majority.

Samfylkingin (The Social-Democratic Alliance)

Founded in 2000 as a fusion of two parties (hence the 'alliance'), the Social-Democratic Alliance is a center-left social democratic party. They were very popular in the early 2000s, almost rivaling the Independence Party for votes, and formed a coalition government with Independence in 2007, which oversaw the 2008 financial crisis; initially people mostly blamed the Independence Party, allowing the Alliance to become the biggest party in the 2009 election with 29.8% of the vote, but as the following coalition with the Left-Greens had to deal with the fallout of the recession, a lot of anger was directed at the Alliance too, and the party has never managed to recover since, instead hovering between 5-15% of the vote (but still stands strong in some municipal elections and currently leads the Reykjavík city council). They want to join the EU and ratify the new constitution.

Píratar (The Pirate Party of Iceland)

You may have heard of Pirate Parties before, originating with the Pirate Party of Sweden. Iceland is the only country where the Pirate Party has actually managed to get elected to the national parliament, and is an entirely serious political movement. At one point after the revelation of the Panama Papers, the Pirate Party was miraculously polling at 43%; sadly, by the time there was an actual election they'd gone down to 15%. Their primary concerns are transparency, democracy, privacy, human rights and freedoms, and "no bullshit", and among other things they want to establish a universal basic income. A lot of its founders were computer scientists and geeks of various stripes.

They refuse to be classified on the left-right scale, but in practice, their policies are strongly aligned with the leftier parties (one popular website comparing the parties on concrete policy questions for this election classed them as having 90% agreement with the Social-Democratic Alliance, 87% with the Socialists, and 83% with the Left-Greens). They are strongly in favor of ratifying the new constitution.

Miðflokkurinn (The Center Party)

After the 2008 financial crisis, the Progressive Party gained a more populist bent, led by Sigmundur Davíð Gunnlaugsson, who was prime minister from 2013 until 2016 when he was implicated in the Panama Papers. He was reluctant to resign as prime minister and fully intended to stay as the leader of the party, until the party chose to boot him and replace him with current Progressive leader Sigurður Ingi Jóhannsson; Sigmundur Davíð went off to form his own party instead, the Center Party, and took the populist arm of the Progressive Party with him. They're where most of the anti-immigration and anti-LGBTQ vote goes, and along with the People's Party, some of their MPs were implicated in "Klausturgate", a scandal where a disabled woman at a bar overheard and discreetly recorded several MPs (including Sigmundur Davíð) who were drinking together while making a variety of sexist, homophobic and ableist comments about named people including members of their own parties. The Center Party was perfectly happy to keep them on board, which really says all you need to know.

I am unendingly disappointed that the Center Party managed to scrape past the 5% threshold to get parliamentary seats this election; for a glorious moment the early numbers looked like they wouldn't. Last election they managed to get seven MPs, and then the two guys from the People's Party involved in Klausturgate joined up with the Center Party too, giving them nine, so seeing them reduced to almost nothing was still deeply pleasing.

Viðreisn (The Reform Party)

A center-right party that split off from the Independence Party in 2016, largely over the latter's opposition to the EU, while the Reform Party supports EU membership, but also because of the endless scandals, cronyism, etc. The Reform Party instead claim to be proponents of "ethical capitalism" and have so far avoided the major scandals and general douchebaggery of their parent party.

Flokkur fólksins (The People's Party)

A populist party with a primary emphasis on eradicating poverty, especially for the elderly and disabled, letting the nation reap the benefits of our fish instead of the few large fishing companies, funding health care to reduce wait times, and so on. All this is lovely in theory, but unfortunately their rhetoric then goes off into pitting the poor/elderly/disabled against immigrants, Muslims, etc. Chairperson Inga Sæland seems totally well-meaning to me off what I've seen of her (disclaimer: have not actually seen that much), but it also contains less savoury people and sentiments, as seen by two of their MPs being part of the aforementioned Klausturgate. To the party's credit, they did expel those guys, but it's not the only example of the party attracting questionable people.

Sósíalistaflokkur Íslands (The Icelandic Socialist Party)

A hardline democratic socialist party founded in 2017, with this as their first parliamentary election. It looked like they would get MPs in polls, but in the end they didn't. They're led by Gunnar Smári Egilsson, one of the original founders of free newspaper Fréttablaðið, and have a much more radical left rhetoric going on than the other lefty parties, focusing on economic equality, housing, free health care, and a shorter work week. They made some pretty controversial remarks campaigning for this election, such as suggesting replacing all the judges of the Supreme Court if they won't agree to changing the fishing quota system (the argument being that the Independence Party appointed all the judges in an organized bid to maintain the current system), but who knows if that dampened their following or something else. They also want to ratify the new constitution.

[onenettvchannel]

THIS JUST IN: High Guardian Spice Releases a First Trailer at the V-CRX 2021 [#OneNETnewsEXCLUSIVE]

BURBANK, CALIFORNIA -- After a few years of negative controversies online from this web animated series in early 2019 onwards, High Guardian Spice has now releasing a first trailer at a Virtual Crunchyroll Expo (V-CRX) 2021. Due to a number of Corona Virus Disease-19 (CoViD19) cases in California, the entire physical Convention Expo event were decided recently for its 1-year postponement last August 2020 and transitions completely to next year by going virtual by August 6th thru 8th, 2021 as reported from the Crunchyroll News.

We teamed up with Crunchyroll to our independently-affiliated news media and broadcaster for OneNETtv Channel (ONC) and Radyo Bandera: Sweet FM Network (RBSFM) - Visayas, as the series creator named Raye Rodriguez via the exclusive Video Conferencing like Zoom to Radyo Bandera (an affiliation of OneNETnews in Negros Oriental from the Philippines).

In a latest full-hour virtual panel of "Hime Stage" last Saturday early morning at 3am in Manila (August 7th, 2021 - a day early from Friday afternoon: Pacific local time) under a "Crunchyroll Industry Panel" this year, Tim Lyu interviews with a show creator of High Guardian Spice for what does the web animated series look like in this synopsis, "The lives of 4 fierce girls converge at High Guardian Academy (HGA), the one place where they can stumble comically towards the adulthood, while becoming the heroes they've always admired. As they master the ways of battle and sorcery, the foursome form alliances, uncover legacies, face betrayals, and discover their true identities, while preparing to protect the world from an ominous unknown threat".

Lyu is presented a first trailer, as obtained exclusively to Radyo Bandera for a last presentation of Crunchyroll Originals in this year's panel.

===

One dragon was traveled outside the Lyngarth City, as 4 of the fierced girls were embarked for the adventure. A protagonist leader girl sees an unknown place below the dragon wind with a fresh air for what is new outside.

At a local town on foot, a tiny animal chases behind the two girls, while a giant person in front of a village house named Joseph (not an actual real name) are chilling in for a monitoring upon looking out for a possible enemies and/or soldiers later on.

Two girls are heading over to the High Guardian Academy (HGA) in this same city, they are about to enroll a 1st year Magical School (which is classified in relation for the Philippines' K-12 Program of Grade 7 as Junior High) with a selected interest for what is the best roles in magic per student. Whether if you're planned to have a witch to educate, potion making, magic spells or some leisure and recreational activities to do so, this academy in Lyngarth City is just for you to enroll. There is NO online classes before that.

In magical and physical practices such as a broomstick-like magical staff takes off for a ride in higher altitudes, smashing a bouldered rock with a sledgehammer, casting the spell, shooting arrows, stabbing the enemies with a sword, and more on these to learn in a magical school of Junior High.

The best experience of teachers, expertise and maybe the professors of HGA were educating the entire school year of its magical students as subjected for the approval of the Department of Education (DepEd).

Some magical students of HGA are well-trained on the spot with a sharpened dose of skills. It'll take months or years to master your magic with perfection and execute safely with your own self. This is to ensure all the magical students to play fair as possibly can and stay true to yourself without a fear. Because one day when you graduate a magical school of HGA in Lyngarth City, you are now officiated as a perfect magical guardian for life.

The best of all... Make some new friends with a quest of its adventures! Defend and protect yourself to the world, free from the enemies and monsters to save the day. You will earn yourself for a victory when defeated more of it than a darkness in a supportive way possible.

===

As mentioned from this first trailer, Rodriguez explains its web animated series takes place in the magical city of Lyngarth. 4 of its confirmed fictional protagonist characters where the HGA students are named to Rosemary, Sage, Parsley and Thyme. All of the girls from this said academy were attending a magical school upon starting for an upcoming adventure. He subsequently adds, they make friends and rivals, and they learn about some pretty huge world changing events that are happening in the shadows, and they make it their mission to help save the day.

New Key Visual for High Guardian Spice!! 🌟 #VCRX More: https://t.co/KWGCLEIHWR pic.twitter.com/fZRsf0F7aP

— Crunchyroll @ #VCRX! 🔥 (@Crunchyroll)

August 6, 2021

Key art poster of High Guardian Spice named James Betrez, a digital artwork person and his friend of Raye Rodriguez had come up with a final version of his art. He featured from a digital poster during a short online interview told Radyo Bandera, Amaryllis and Snapdragon are hanging out for a while, in front of the HGA. Based from this said poster art, there are bunch of the magical creatures that appears in this place around the Lyngarth City.

The former studio of Ellation Studios will be turned over possibly to Crunchy Onigiri, LLC in San Francisco, California, U.S.A.; as they rebranded into a regional anime-distributed office of Crunchyroll in Chinsinau, Moldova under the Consumer Division of Otter Media as Diez reported from a russian news site.

We contacted our news team for questioning to Crunchyroll via E-Mail and the Interactive Chat of V-CRX 2021 about the negative controversy issue of High Guardian Spice but, the streaming company manager deflects to decline for a comment.

However during a 'Question and Answer Feedback Panel' last Sunday early morning at 1am in Manila local time (August 8th, 2021) as Angie Hurst, Crunchyroll's Title Marketing Manager told Radyo Bandera, "It all depends on what type of kid content with your families out there that you've loved us to provide. We do have also a lot of shows that our kid-friendly in other Crunchyroll Originals' favorites, maybe we can do something around those shows in the future".

Hurst has learned the appropriate age viewing targets of High Guardian Spice, the exclusive demographics from this show will be targeted and classified as kid-friendly, almost less likely than adults this time. She clarifies about the Crunchyroll Originals from her statement during the V-CRX 2021, "Crunchyroll fans gets really excited about our current line-up. We have several original titles that are coming up onto some of them announced like Fena: Pirate Princess and others later down the pipeline. We take a look of their shows between the anime and cartoons together to be showned on stage without its confusion upon informing the fans will see it first. We're so ready to share with the world with you".

In conclusion as final, High Guardian Spice will now being classified as a web-animated cartoon show. Our research team of OneNETnews says, there is no evidence of "Anime" genre for the individuals of one-sided hate of LGBT and racism, without requiring a bad silence of Cartoons and/or Anime. This was like a Franchise Shutdown of ABS-CBN from the Philippine President named Rodrigo R. Duterte.

Whether you like it or not from this negative controversy a few years ago that no one talks about it for the dislikers, bashers, boycotters and even grave threats (under the Philippine Laws with a relation of Republic Act #10175 or the Cybercrime Prevention Act of 2012 and Article 282 & 287a or the Revised Penal Code) from the early 2019 until today in 2021, the release date of High Guardian Spice hasn't been released yet for now.

Lyu assures its animation and production team of Crunchy Onigiri, LLC & Crunchyroll Originals may subject for a final touches, post-production episodes and the distribution rights were soon publicly available in a later several months or more. Crunchyroll promises to correct the hate of its mistakes if the web animated series are supportive smoothly for a 2nd chance.

The world premiere of High Guardian Spice, streaming soon (for real this time) on Crunchyroll.

----

Radyo Bandera: Sweet FM Network and Bandera News Philippines (both in Bacolod and Palawan) is a parent affiliated firm on this internet TV station of ONC and OneNETnews.

SPECIAL THANKS to Ridley Terrance & Marco Diaz (a fictional dual characters of Glitch Techs & Star vs. The Forces of Evil) for contributing this news article.

SCREENGRAB COURTESY: Virtual Crunchyroll Expo 2021 - Hime Stage & Crunchy Onigiri

SOURCE: *https://www.linkedin.com/in/rayetoons [Profile Reference] *https://uspto.report/TM/88096914 *https://expo.crunchyroll.com/en-us/panels/panel-information.html?gtID=726846&panel-name=Crunchyroll-Industry-Panel [Panel Schedule for the Crunchyroll Industry Panel] *https://www.crunchyroll.com/anime-news/2020/06/03-1/crunchyroll-expo-2020-cancelled-2021-dates-planned-for-august-6-8 [Reference Article #1] *https://ru.diez.md/2020/04/17/ellation-luchshiy-rabotodately-2019-goda-pereimenovyvaetsya-v-crunchyroll/ [Reference Article #2] *https://4nn.cx/.159103 [Reference Article #3] *https://ched.gov.ph/k-12-project-management-unit/ *https://www.youtube.com/post/Ugx-7iDVzRPOS8FJifB4AaABCQ [Referenced YT Post, as based from the Negative Comments of HGS - Aug72021] *https://expo.crunchyroll.com/en-us/panels/panel-information.html?gtID=727128&panel-name=Virtual-Crunchyroll-Expo-Feedback-Panel-with-Live-Q-and-ampA [V-CRX 2021's Feedback Panel - Schedule Information for Aug82021] and *https://steemit.com/minnowsupportproject/@discordiant/one-sided-hate-and-some-of-it-s-consequences [Referenced Article Opinion for One-Sided Hate]

HONEST DISCLAIMER: The views and opinions expressed from this Exclusive News Article are not necessarily those from the Crunchy Onigiri, LLC. Furthermore, the assumptions of this Exclusive News Article will NOT state, intervene or reflect those of our affiliated reporters. The show, the station, the management, interwebs and the network. Thanks for reading! Stay safe and may the Celestia blesses you. Daghang salamat, mga Ka-Bandera and everypony. Later!

-- OneNETnews Team

[iwantescapism13]

So I heard that The Owl House's 2nd year anniversary was celebrated recently, so to join in, I'll be answering questions posted by /sunsapphic from Twitter. Original post can be found here.

And now, the questions:

When did you start watching the show?

I was watching some videos where they list shows that have LGBT stuff (something that I was suddenly into after watching She-Ra) and The Owl House was one of them. I remember knowing that it exists way before watching those compilation videos, but I thought to myself that I didn't want to watch a cartoon anymore (because it's most probably gonna be disappointing and cringy, since it's a Disney show). But then... I saw clips of ‘Enchanted Grom Fright’. I was curious at first, but it took a few more times for the same video to appear on my Youtube algorithm before I got the mood to actually try out the show. And the rest is history. I tuned in because of Lumity, but I stayed because Luz is such a very unique character. And Eda too. Their personalities are things I've never really seen in a CARTOON. Anime, sure. But not a western cartoon.

Favorite Season 1 and 2A episode(s)?

I legit love all of the episodes, actually. But if I were to really pick my absolute favorite, I'd say 'Agony of a Witch' for Season 1 and 'Eclipse Lake' for Season 2A. Both had the coolest fighting sequence I've ever seen in a cartoon show and I remember feeling damn awestruck the first time I saw them.

Favorite Lumity episode?

I guess it's a blasphemy if I say that it isn't 'Knock Knock Knockin' on Hooty's Door', but I actually like 'Escaping Expulsion' more because it focuses a little tiny bit more on Amity and her relationship with her family (and her budding feelings towards Luz, of course). And also "Stay away from my Luz!" is such a quote. 10/10 best quote, actually.

Favorite character(s)?

I like Hunter. He's such a mischievous, idiotic dork. He can be very cool at one frame but then act like such a total loser the next.

What are your theories for Season 2B?

Oooh~ theories, eh? I only have 3:

There are about 10 episodes left. And there are 8 covens (I know there are 9 but I'm excluding the Emperor's Coven). 8 episodes will cover Luz and company fighting against 1 coven leader and show us a backstory. EDIT: Okay... so there are actually 9 covens, excluding the Emperor's Coven (thanks to @zirconpetals in the comments for mentioning). Cool. But still... my theory stands. I can see potential good plot points if they manage to have the characters fight against 2 coven leaders + cover some kind of backstory all in a span of 20 minutes for about 4-5 episodes. Then, the rest of Season 2B will be about the Day of Unity, Emperor Belos and how to defeat him.

Luz and Amity will have to separate at one point. Not break up, of course. But it's just that, during one of the fights, Luz might be forced to go back to Earth for some reason while Amity stays in the Boiling Isles. They'll eventually reunite, though, so their separation won't be permanent.

There'll be a parallel to "Stay away from my Luz!". Continuing on from my previous point, maybe Luz finds a way to go back to the Boiling Isles through something that Vee or someone else probably helped her with. And then when she sees Amity in trouble, Luz will come out of the portal door and be like, "Stay away from my Amity!".

I actually had a lot more, but it was before I revived my Tumblr. And now my account is full of Amphibia stuff so... yeah.

What's your favorite ship(s)?

I like Lumity, of course. I like Raeda as well but the thing is... I want to know more about Raine. It's such a shame that I only got to know them through some minor flashbacks. I want more scenes of them with Eda for me to really be considered a shipper.

What kind of palisman would you have?

Panther. I have no idea why. It just suddenly came to my head.

What coven(s) would you join?

Beast Keeping Coven. I guess it's because having a creature by your side is just so cool. Maybe my Panther Palisman can be beside me all the time (like some kind of Pokemon) rather than be cooped up in a staff.

How has The Owl House impacted you?

It makes me feel great to see a world where there's no homophobia. It makes me tear up how Eda just nonchalantly supports Luz when she wanted to ask Amity out, how Luz's romantic feelings for Amity were written genuinely, how Raine is introduced as non-binary and how they use "they/them" pronouns... and many others. I love that I got to know The Owl House because it made me come into terms with me being a lesbian. I've been raised in a world where being who I am is such a sin and whatever I'm feeling towards the same gender is wrong. So seeing this show and the characters actually not caring about such things and that love is just love no matter what it is, it... it's so touching. And on top of it all, watching The Owl House made me discover Amphibia - which is currently what I'm obssessed about at the moment.

[mlm-writer]

Ko Ko Bop (Chanyeol x M!Reader)

Pairing: Park Chanyeol x Male!Reader (trans-friendly) Rating: General Audiences Words: 1294 Summary: Your bastard cat likes Chanyeol more than he likes you and keeps escaping. Luckily, Chanyeol does not mind returning your cat every morning. Note: This is a repost. It was originally posted on @lgbt-kpopimagines​, but that blog died. Reposting to get everything properly in my masterlist. Also this is my fav work of mine.  Tags: fluff, domestic fluff, bastard cat and neighbours AU 

I was starting to seriously panic. “Ko Ko!” I yelled for my cat for the so manyth time. The grumpy beast usually did not go anywhere. He was very much an indoors cat. I took him out from time to time, but the fat thing had lost all lust for the outside world long ago. I heard a knock on my door. I was so hoping it was one of my neighbours. Miss Lee had been scratched by Ko Ko multiple times, while he tried to steal one of her pastries. I wished my cat was nicer to her, because her cooking always smelled nice. Honestly, I wished Ko Ko was nicer to anybody, including me.

I opened the door, but it was not Miss Lee with a box full of angry cat. Instead I was shocked on multiple fronts. “Hey is this your cat?” Park Chanyeol of EXO - yes, that Park Chanyeol - stood in front of my door with a cat that looked like Ko Ko, but was not behaving like Ko Ko at all. The fat brown cat was purring and cuddling up to the other man like the sweet cat I had always wanted.

“Uh, I think it is… What does the name on the collar say?” He gently moved the animal around until he could show me the oval charm that said ‘Ko Ko Bop’. I nodded slowly. “Yes, I think this is my cat.”

He laughed. I joined in. It was just so easy to laugh, when he was laughing too. “You don’t recognise your cat?” He handed me Ko Ko, but almost as soon as I held him, he wrestled himself free and ran inside. I looked over my shoulder to see him jumping onto the hair patch on the couch and settle in his favourite place.

“Well he is usually very mean towards almost everyone, so what did you drug him with?” I tried to stay calm. Of course he knew by the name of my cat that I was a fan. I was not going to make a fool out of myself by acting like a crazy one. He laughed again and I followed again.

“I was having coffee when he jumped through my window. I gave him some milk, but that’s it. He has been very friendly.” I frown at him, clearly not believing him. Ko Ko really made a wild turn over the course of a couple of hours. He threw his arms up. “I promise that’s all!” This time it was my turn to laugh first.

“All right, all right. I gotta get ready for work, but you know where to find me… I mean Ko Ko, if you ever wanna cuddle me… him again.”

Chanyeol stopped by every morning. Apparently the first morning he had met all his neighbours on his and my floor. We never found out how, but Ko Ko kept meeting Chanyeol for coffee and then Chanyeol met up with me to return my cat, before his allergies would start to really act up. Ko Ko had made a complete change of personality. Gradually he went from world’s meanest cat to the most cuddly creature.

I had the door unlocked in the morning by now. Chanyeol entered my apartment, Ko Ko in his arms. “We going Ko Ko Bop!” He sang as he put Ko Ko on his favourite spot on my couch. His eyes landed on me sitting at the coffee table. There were papers everywhere. “What are you up to?”

I smiled tiredly at him. “I have an important meeting next Monday. If I manage to woo the fancy men in suits, there might be a promotion in it for me.” I let out a sigh and drop my head on top of my proposal. “I have been trying to get this presentation together for days and I just… can’t.” I felt a hand on my shoulder. I looked up to see my crush crouching next to me with a huge smile.

“When you are stuck, you need to go out. New places help with getting new insights.” I shook my head and told him I really could not waste time, but he pulled me up by my arm and caught me, when I clumsily tripped on my numb legs. Maybe I had been sitting down there for too long.

Eventually I gave in. I put on something that made me look presentable and left Ko Ko in my apartment. At first it was hard to be near Chanyeol without nearly hyperventilating, but now he felt like an important part of home. I saw him daily and when he was out of town, he lend me the key to his apartment, so I could get Ko Ko back myself. Those were the days Ko Ko seemed more like his old self.

We laughed, walking very close to each other. My heart was racing and I wanted to grab his hand with mine, but he didn’t know about my sexuality and I was pretty sure he was straight. Either straight or already dating Baekhyun and I was definitely not a match for that.

Eventually he took me by my arm again and dragged me into a shop. Until now I had no idea we were headed for a shop. When we were inside, I frowned at all the expensive suits lying around. “Pick whatever you want. If you’re dressed well, you will definitely do good at your meeting.” I wanted to protest, but Chanyeol was already running off to a store clerk. I saw him talking to the dapperly dressed woman and then pointing towards me. The woman approached me. She wore a suit that accentuated her curves just right. Clearly her suit was tailored for a woman.

After measuring me and giving me my exact size, she left us alone to explore on our own. I was quick to put the expensive clothing back as soon as I saw the price, but then Chanyeol would take it and hold it in front of me. It took a while, before we agreed on something and he sent me into the fitting room. “This one is really too expensive,” I called from the fitting room. I looked at myself from the side, liking the cut a lot actually.

“I told you, it is a present from me. Does it look good?”

“It is too expen…” I didn’t get to finish. Chanyeol pushed the curtain aside and joined me in the tiny room. He looked at me with wide eyes. It was almost scary.

“Wow… You look… wow!” I felt hot like this, in the cramped space, with Chanyeol so close to me. I muttered a thanks. He seemed to realise how much he was in my personal space. I tensed a little, when I felt his hands unexpectedly on my shoulders. He caressed the fabric there, before his hands glided down my arms. I looked away, my breath unnaturally deep. He took my hands in his and I looked up at him in shock. He let go of my hands, as if they burned him. “Sorry! I… I thought…” He clasped his hands together, fumbling with his own fingers.

“Oh… I mean… Well, I thought…” I didn’t know what I thought. We were both rambling like idiots now, our chests barely touching. Eventually our hands found each other again and I leaned in to peck his cheek. It shut him up. “Want to have coffee with me some time, instead of with my cat?” A wide smile reappeared on his face and he nodded, his hair bouncing on his happy head. Glad to know there was at least one person who liked me more than my cat.

[ladyalienist]

Rainbow walls and shame

I have a thing I need to get off my chest. It's been there for three days and half and it's now time to write about it.

So. I grew up in a pretty conservative enviroinment - in a rather complicated way, but generally speaking conservative. In early 2000s I barely knew what a gay man or a lesbian were and they were talked about with pity at best and open scorn at usual.

In 2005 a little girl joined my class. She had an incredible black mane of beautiful curls, a radiant smile, green eyes and an adorable accent. I was a bullied child - a full outcast, ostracized by everyone, frowned upon even by teachers, a disappointment in anything I tried. And this stunning creature chose me to be her first friend in class.

I felt blessed by some divine force whose goodness could not be questioned - my gratitude to her almost felt like worship. And I noticed that the feelings I had were not what one was supposed to have towards a friend. I was jealous when she talked to other girls in class (I also threw a rage fit I'm still ashamed of). I couldn't bear the thought of her having a boyfriend and leaving me alone again - yes, having a boyfriend was the big deal even then, in fucking elementary school.

So, being the curious and introspection-oriented child I was, I asked myself the dreaded question:

Am I a Lesbian?

Mind you: I was nine.

Yet I laid in bed, tense, unable to sleep (I started having disordered sleep patterns there), tormented by that terrible question. Am I a lesbian? I can't be one. I love my male crush (a boy in my class I was all over for five years and who never glanced at me twice and who's now a drug addict but that's another story). I can't be a lesbian. There's already too much wrongness in me.

Conceal, don't feel. Don't let them know.

I managed to repress what I felt for other nine years - I spent my teenage years in a constant state of confusion towards other girls, because they were so pretty and I wanted to be like them (I'm not pretty in the slightest, I'm not attractive, and it was a problem back then), but when at night I dreamed of kissing them it was very weird. Oh well, sixteen years old me rationalized, must be that I want their boyfriend and since he actually has a repulsive personality (that's another story again) it's easier to imagine having something soft with them. But I'm straight. Totally straight. The fact that sex with boys feels awful is not a problem.

I was a teen, teens tend to not be very good at rationalizing things.

At eighteen I could not lie to myself any longer: I was in love with another girl. Now I could write an entire book about her and I - but that would be beside the point.

I laid in bed again, tears rolling silently down.

I am bisexual.

Now: I was not that terrified child anymore. I had been exposed to LGBT activism, I fully supported gay rights and gay people. My first "boyfriend" (another complicated story) was openly bisexual and I had supported him.

Yet it took me some time to come to terms with it for many reasons. I'm telling only the main two. One was: if I am part of the community, then my support for it when I told everyone I was straight as an arrow becomes a little hypocritical (teen black-or-white reasoning). The other: I cannot have a meaningful relationship with a boy, how am I ever supposed to achieve anything with a girl? The fact that the main reasons I couldn't have a nice boyfriend was that boys suck, or just that a life can be full even without romantic relationships, was unthinkable back then.

You see what was present at nine but absent at eighteen?

Shame.

I was not ashamed of myself or my sexuality. Not at all. I was not wrong for being bisexual - I actually thought it might be the least wrong thing with me.

So, now the actual post begins:

Monday was International Day Against Homophobia And Its Various Declinations. My social media feed was flooded with rainbows and tearful posts about LGBTQ+ youth and LGBTQ+ rights and whatever, blah, blah. From well-meaning people, let's be really clear.

I stayed silent, for I was feeling nothing but tired and ashamed. Tired - I want this to end. I want this to be a day for LGB, a day to actually speak about us, about our history, and not made it all about the TQ+. I want an honest conversation, I'm tired with this performative, shallow, useless rainbow wall. Ashamed - because I know how much the B, or at least a subset of people self-identifying as B, has its own responsibility in the loss of meaning of everything aimed at LGB.

I feel ashamed everytime I think a man is attractive and I would be lying if I said it doesn't happen (even when it comes to just celebrities, given also the unusually unsocial historical period). I feel lost when I find myself fantasizing about having a boyfriend - rationally I know I can never achieve a good relationship with a man, but wouldn't it be nice to just find one who can do the impossible? I'm not immune to my socialization. Even in radfem spaces it's hard to talk about it because it's hard to find a balance between male-pandering, I don't want to offend attitude and straight up rudeness.

At the same time I'd like a girlfriend - and I don't feel worthy of being loved of a woman who's amazing enough to be my romantic interest. I don't feel ready, I don't feel capable.

My bisexuality really feels like half-and-half. Like I can never be fully committed to someone (thanks to way too much of bisexual rep), I can never be fully described, I can never be fully understood. Even talking to fellow bisexuals sometimes is of no help, let alone to straight or homosexual people. I sometimes feel like I exist only as a porn fantasy - and I personally can't be that either because let's be clear no man wants a threesome with me (which is something I'm currently really glad of). I'm but a series of mismatched parts and desires that can never be accomplished - and that I can't talk about in this climate, because straights don't want to hear about us experiencing SSA and gays are rightly unwilling to hear about us experiencing OSA. And when you find the "inclusive" space it's all about dyed-haired queerios who LARP as gays and claim that "cis gays are gross" in the same sentence.

I cannot say I'm bisexual in a "normie" space because of fetishization and stereotypes - I cannot say I'm bisexual in LGBTQ+ spaces because anything is about the queerios - I cannot say I'm bisexual in other spaces because of this... because of that...

Maybe it's just a personal experience that still stems from feeling that there is a lot wrong with me. I have no clue.

But I really wished I could talk about how I feel openly, with no shame. And the very same community who should have made me proud of what I am is making me feel ashamed.

I don't know. I just needed to write it off.

[lukparkeru4]

Developers that Inspire me

Yandere dev, also known as Alex is a game developer for an indie game called yandere simulator. He does not work for anyone, but is paid money via Patreon supporters and other crowd funding platforms to work on said game. His game has been stuck in development hell for many years, with development builds being released every so often, occasionally with interesting content He inspires me to do better because of how garbage a person he is. Yandere dev lives off of people funding him to make a game, yet he makes progress on the game at an incredibly slow rate. In addition, he has been known to spend money to hide any negative aspects of his personality, and has bought many hubs for talking about the game after said hubs began attracting people that talked badly about him. The sheer amount of bad things he gets away with inspires me, since I can see with him as a living example that a good concept for a game can get you incredibly far, even without much of a background or skill level.

- fighting back against a teacher, this is a small minigame where the player must press the buttons according with the bar repeatedly

- one of many, many model glitches in the game, this one being on the mild side

Another developer that greatly inspires me is Maddy Thorson. They are a developer and the director for celeste, a platformer game that I enjoy watching a lot. They inspire me for two reasons, firstly for their ability to work with a team well, making celeste with a team of artists and programmers from around the globe, and secondly because of their ability to add controversial topics (for some reason having a trans character in a videogame is controversial) without affecting the quality of the story in any way, as well as making the character so compelling when the reveal came there was much less controversy than you would expect whenever something LGBT is introduced post production. The way they handled it, making subtle hints rather than flaunting it, writing it like somebody who was trans themselves would makes it all the more compelling.

- a level in celeste, the player has to navigate the level using platforms to launch themselves until they can reach the strawberry

Toby fox is a large inspiration for very different reasons. Despite his chronic pain issues, he has managed to produce amazing roleplaying games such as undertale and more recently, deltarune. These games have beautiful soundtracks, with their storytelling and music being the highlights of the game, yet having simple yet hard to master gameplay in the combat system, making it hard to die in ordinary gameplay (neutral and pacifist routes), yet difficult in the harder route (genocide or Jevil fight). This balance between gameplay, music and storytelling is one I can learn a lot from, since I often hone completely in on gameplay, leaving art by the wayside despite how important it is to a game.

- this is the hardest fight of deltarune, Jevil, The way the projectiles to dodge are so large, making it harder to dodge if you don’t start in the right area, yet also still perfectly dodgable is a trait that I enjoy a lot about the fight

Tama: creator of the friday night funkin mod “Soft”. This developer inspires me for their level of teamwork with the rest of their developers. Tama has 29 people working on their mod, which brings a whole new story and set of songs to the Friday Night Funkin formula. This mod adds a whole new story, which I absolutely adore along with new songs. While this mod doesn’t bring any new gameplay, aside from the typical patterns many other mods have done before, it makes up for it with story, as well as all the small details they add. All these small details inspire me a lot. teaching me that not everything in videogames has to be grand and noticed by everyone, even in smaller scale games. The fact that one person is directing 28 other people is also quite amazing, since all these people aren’t hired, and are simply working together on a passion project, which would make it much harder to organise people than if they were actually getting paid

Week 2 for soft mod, featuring Skid and pump, but not the ones found in the typical canon, these ones dress differently and weren’t tricked by lemon demon into rapping bf, rather just want to rap for fun. The pastel colour scheme for arrows in this mod is wonderful, fitting the buttons on soft BFs hat quite well, along with his hair.

The final source of inspiration I want to list has got to be Cameron Taylor, also known as Ninja muffin, the programmer for Friday Night Funkin (the non modded versions). He, along with his 3 fellow creators managed to create a rhythm game which grew so much beyond his and anybody elses expectations. The fact he manages to get so many wonderful creators and characters in the game, week to week from ser pelo to freakin tank man is incredible. His ability to create connections with people in the artistic community, yet stay thankful to the community is great proof to me that even if I somehow make it big, my personality isn’t going to suddenly become terrible

- The first week of the game vs daddy dearest, the artstyle reflecting old newgrounds games, as well as the songs and basic yet difficult gameplay make this a game I enjoy a lot