#and a lot of it i was meh on but there was ONE PARAGRAPH that im still thinking about now

[girlscience]

finished Harrow the Ninth. Gideon is still the only thing I care about whatsoever (I do love Harrow, but it's different, Gideon makes me want to explode). Spent the whole book just waiting for her to be back (ya ya part of it was her pov watching Harrow but it wasn't Her her ya know) and she finally came back and I almost cried. Genuinely, she is EVERYTHING to me

[that-enby-witch]

Witchy Resources

Astrology

Cafe Astrology - does your birth chart and it’s presented in a really cute way imo. It also gives you info about each placement and you can check compatibility and stuff too

Co—Star - I downloaded is the other day, it gives you quick daily horoscopes, do’s and dont’s for the day, and a longer breakdown of the horoscope

Dream work

Little Book of Dreams - I got this at a local store but you can get it for £4. It’s really cute and small, with just little summaries for what common dreams mean. It’s very simple but good for beginners in dream work

Deity worship (These are specific to Hellenism. You don’t have to worship Greek deities to be a witch but it’s what I have resources on because it’s what I follow)

Wikipedia - no seriously. It has info on so many different deities and their mythology so it’s actually quite useful.

r/Hellenism - a good place to ask questions if you’re new to deity worship and get some SPG on less common deities. Be sure to fact check

Amino - there’s a couple of Greek mythology and Hellenist communities on here. Like with Reddit, fact check!

Theoi.com - so much basic info on various deities, and it’s got epithets and things too that Wikipedia doesn’t have.

Tarot

Nata Soul Taro - probably the best pick a pile tarot readers I’ve found on YouTube. she also has a website and does personal readings. The videos are very calming and often really accurate

Zodianz - gives you three tarot cards and their meanings. Includes whether they’re yes or no, zodiac signs, planets and elements that correspond with each card, keywords for the card and then a short paragraph about the meaning. It also gives the meaning of the numbers in the card (like in 8 cups it tells you about 8)

If anyone knows any websites where you can learn tarot meanings let me know and I’ll add them to this list

Spell work

The Works - if you’re British, The Works has a lot of trinket boxes that you can keep spell ingredients in, and some potion bottles which are meant for crafts but they’re perfect for spell jars

Witchipedia - has some basic info about spells and some simple ones that you can do without needing many tools. Perfect for broom closeted witches, beginners or witches who can’t afford fancy stuff.

@strangesigils has some posts on common sigil methods, or, you can use some of their existing sigils!

Shadow work

Pinterest - I’m not kidding Pinterest has some great shadow work prompts if you just type in shadow work. Some are meh and some are really good

Co—Star - as well as astrology this also has a section where you can write a message to yourself and it’ll pop up the next time the stars are in the same position as they were when you wrote it

Crystal work

Holly’s Hope Beads - handmade crystal jewellery! My mum knows the girl who owns it and I’ve gotten a few pieces here. Really pretty and good quality

[teethstitch]

Since you are into TMNT I am curious what’s your opinion on each of the turtles in general since you seem to be into all iterations of them /gen question

ooh fascinating question. unsure if you mean each individual turtle from each gen or just each gen itself but i'll go into both!

so i actually have a tmnt powerpoint i'm working on right now, so i'll lift some stuff but obviously i won't lift it all, ill go in franchise order. shows and comics in order (show specific comics will go in the show sections) and then movies. spoilers for pretty much every single thing i talk about. if you haven't finished a specific iteration just skip the paragraph about it

Mirage

I havent read too much of mirage, though i'm sure its good i find it a bit visually noisy and actually struggle to read it- my vision is fine as far as i know and i don't usually have trouble with other black and white comics but man mirage is hard to read, whenever eastman would draw for idw annuals or issues i'd have a hard time getting through them because even though the style is cool i just can't see anything, so yeah, that for the time being kind of sums up my thoughts on mirage, i think the shredder worm shark is funny as hell though. i suppose the only thing of note i have an opinion on is the april race debate - wherein by one of them she was thought of as white and the other thought of her as non-white (i can't remember which ethnicity), so based on that i've seen people say that means she's white or the other ethnicity but since they're co authors i've just gone with the idea that mirage april is biracial. that's about the only mirage thing i can actually give my two cents on, moving on!

1987

I really like 1987, i haven't watched it all but trust me i'm slogging through it o7. i adore the animation mistakes, the way they give one turtle another turtles lines, and i think the characterisation is pretty solid. sometimes the show can feel tedious to watch personally, which is why i love saturday morning adventures, it's a much more concise, thought out version of the show itself and is a beautiful love letter to the show (they also finally sent usagi home :'D). obviously it went on for way longer than it realistically needed to, a majority of episodes basically mean nothing unless they introduce new characters, its the one piece of the franchise, lots of filler, i still think it's great though. i also love shredders revenge, it was the first tmnt game i've played since joining the fandom and similar to SMA it is a genuinely beautiful love letter to the community and franchise, i'm an avid cross stitcher as well so pixel games make me happy because i can stitch straight from the game sprites, which i've been doing :3. I love how the turtles are characterised, Cam clarke is iconic and i love shredder and krangs dynamic, irma has become the love of my life and much to my dismay i love the neutrinos which sucks because they're only present elsewhere in idw, i'm doubtful but begging Tottmnt to bring them back.

2003

2003 is by far my favourite of the shows, i actually enjoyed fast forward unlike much of the tmnt fandom, i thought it was fun, though sterling was meh to me, i just didn't like him - even though i liked fast forward i can personally admit the show dealt with similar issues to 1987 of just. extending itself. when they were able to focus on plots and do arc episodes was great, but the seasons could have definitely been cut down sometimes because the formula of an episode was beholden to ads, which meant every 5 minutes someone had to say something shocking or nearly die only for it to be dissuaded or continued after the ad break, watching it digitally now with no ad breaks was kind of funny though because i would be up late sometimes and delirious and the 03 singers yelling 'teenage mutant ninja turtles' at me while mikey or other did a cool move entertained me much more than it should have. I really love that the opening scene is recreation of the first scene in the mirage comics, even if i have trouble reading it i think thats cool and fun, i love all the turtles voices and characterisation, i never have any complaints about voice in any iteration but especially not here, they all feel perfect. the fandom is a big part of the joy of 03 for me, but i do still love watching my favourite episodes back from time to time, and like any good 03 fan i can scream about good genes and same as it never was like a banshee, though i do also have a lot of thoughts on other arcs dw. usually i find it easier to pick a favourite turtle iteration to iteration but man is it hard here, they all have their moments, i think the humour and the darkness are played really well (cough except for when leo got stabbed in the shoulder and i had no idea where he got stabbed until he got a scar next episode because there was no blood). I was drawn into the fandom by rise and it will always hold a special place in my heart but 2003 is far and away my favourite iteration. forever sad about the dreamwave comics being cut short and no one picking them up. we deserve more official 03 comics.

IDW

I'm also still reading idw - don't kill me its long and also theres just a lot of turtles stuff to get through, okay? I really have enjoyed it thus far, i jumped for joy when the neutrinos were revealed, i hated chet with a passion and they somehow wormed me back in with the fugitoid reveal, i will say similar to watching 03 digitally and just getting hit with the before ad and after ads cutaways back to back, there's a bit of an annoyance in trying to find and read everything in exact order, because missing a micro/macro or short side story like the secret history of the foot can kind of screw you over, so when someone says they're reading idw its not actually the 150 issues, its well over 200, though i haven't counted specifically. if you read the powerpoint pictures you'll see the artist death match, basically i was just going to pit them against each other by choosing the best design of reoccurring characters and the artist would get the point, there are some great artist who had a hand in this series, i can't deny all of them are talented, but man some of them are just not for me, getting through an arc with a style i don't like is a breath of fresh air, right now my main example of a style i like is Mateus Santolouco - not all the character designs are my favourite but the secret history of the foot clan was gorgeous, especially karai, she's always been one of my favourite characters. i enjoy idw, i think the worst thing i can say about it really is sometimes theres styles i don't like and akin to other comic series it can be stupidly difficult to figure out the exact reading order when you're not there from the beginning.

2012

possibly controversial (definitely, i'm lying to myself), 2012 is probably my least favourite of the franchises shows (no, its not below next mutation, just talking animated main shows). just to explain myself, I do LIKE the show, but of the shows i find its the least in line with my humour, the gross out humour is a little more uncomfortable for me given the 3d style, i can't deny the story is probably the most well done of any of the shows thus far, i do enjoy the story and i think even non relevant episodes to the main storyline do a good job of serving some kind of purpose to character development or giving the viewer a look into the world, it is by no means a bad show, i would never say it is, i do like it, but for myself personally i struggle to sit down and rewatch because of some of the things i pointed out and some other things like the way apritello is written, leorai (shudders), idk why but 2012 splinter just annoys me, i will say the turtles and april are really enjoyable characters, i find most of the characters (karai, casey, some of the minor villains even) pretty engaging, everyone feels really fleshed out and similar to 03 the voice acting is on point, though this iteration isn't my favourite in terms of rewatchability, i audibly cheered when i realised shelldon was greg cipes, when he said booyakasha i was on the floor weeping. 2012 is a show that i would watch on occassion when it was on, its the one i technically grew up with, though i wasn't really into tmnt as a kid, but greg cipes was pretty much my childhood as a big teen titans kid, as well as mae whitman, i was a big tinkerbell kid, so those 2 are a huge highlight of the show for me. my feelings on 2012 are pretty confusing, but i still do like the show, its just if anyone (like you) asked, i would have to say its technically my least favourite, but again, by no means means that its bad, because it isn't, it's just not really as for me as the other shows. the '12 comics i enjoy, i haven't read too many but the batman crossover was sick as hell, style wise the 2012 comics are solid, while i don't think 2012 looks bad as a 3d show i would personally be more drawn to it if it was 2d like the comics, i just prefer 2d.

Rise (2018)

As previously mentioned, like many others rise was my formal introduction as a teen/now adult into the tmnt fandom, for a while it kind of stood out as my favourite before 03 topped it, but still i love it with all my heart and i rewatch episodes frequently. i think the voice casting was on point, i had recently finished ducktales so ben schwartz and josh brener were welcome surprises, kat graham was in perth for a con recently and i was so sad she wasn't scheduled for the melbourne run of that con and was heavily tempted to go just to see her, rise april is definitely my favourite of all aprils, while i think its a fun dynamic when April is an adult and sort of an aunt figure to the turtles, rise april really killed the older sister thing, every episode she's in is a treat, omar miller and brandon smith (am i meant to put middle/second names i have no idea) were stunning choices for raph and mikey, rise raph is so brotherly and silly, he just brings so much heart to raph, Mikey is so much fun in rise, i can get caught up in inflection and the way a line is said and there's a lot of variety with Mikey's lines, its funny and i couldn't ask for better delivery, i think they're all good at it but brandon knocks it out of the park with mikey. So, partially the blame goes to 03 but rise was also what got me into usagi yojimbo, it's kinda funny how the only show without a canon usagi is the one that kinda goes the hardest in adding him into stuff. the format of the show not getting to focus a lot on plot and mostly just being one off episodes obviously isn't ideal, but for what story we got i really enjoyed, i also just liked the one off segments, the majority of them i really liked and found funny, for me this is probably the show that makes me laugh the most out of any of them - while i tend to participate nowadays more with the 03 section of the fandom, i still love rise to my core and still interact with it here and there.

Ronin

As i said before, theres a lot of tmnt to go through, but uh. everyone talks about the last ronin, so i detoured my regular watching and reading to dive into it. I liked it, there are things i would love answers to but i might just need to reread to know because middle of reading my cat threw up and i had to pause to clean it up, so yeah- there are things i'm worried to have possibly misunderstood, like the dissolution of their treaty of sorts, misremembering or misunderstood that part of the story is a possibility but if its not that i'm still desperate to know who actually betrayed who first, what actually did the turtles/foot truce in? i haven't gone into re-evolution or lost years yet, i've been meaning to but occasionally i'll get a new shiny hyperfixation and when i return to turtles i tend to dive right into the shows or long running comics first compared to stuff like ronin. i am very excited for the game and the film, little nervous at the idea the film will be live action but i'm mostly just going to wait and see, no sense hating it before i even know what it looks like.

Mutant mayhem/tales/2023

i know i said movies last but its kind of different since the movie was before the show- so deal with it ig. mutant mayhem is a great movie, emotional, funny, i really like it, and the style translates beautifully into 2d animation for the show, i don't have much to say on the movie itself, i really liked it, i watched it with my mum who really liked it and she can be pretty hot and cold when it comes to movies. Tales is a fun show, i similarly don't have too much to say, i struggle to rewatch things i've watched semi recently because i get burnt out on it quicker, but i'm super excited to watch this iteration continue, i'll miss rise like hell but i think tales shows great promise and i'm looking forward to more of it!

Bayverse

if you're wondering why i skipped the 2007 movie its because i haven't watched it, semi similar to mirage the style is a lot, but not similar in the way that i can actually tell whats going on in 07, i just. don't like the style. bayverse is pretty controversial but i like it enough, i don't really rewatch it because the 3d models freak me out, but i love the fanart people make, i do think the character designs themselves are very good, peoples fanart definitely helps you look at them more clearly as well. I still don't visually get leo's bone necklace placemat thing. splinter in the first movie is too furless and he needs to be shot. the movies themselves i don't find too special but i don't dislike them, i remember watching the second movie because some cousins and i went out with our nan and my younger cousin wanted to watch it so we did. i had very little turtle exposure as a child but out of the shadows was part of it.

Original trilogy

I quite like the original trilogy, it's very campy but i think its a fun watch, similar to mutant mayhem i watched these with my mum, we really only watch the movies together and we had a good time, we both struggle to really take them seriously. we had to pause the first movie for a WHILE to laugh at the bathtub scene, i still laugh about it frequently and remind her of it just as often, 'i'm coming....... tO A DECISION' also was funny, the third movie is there also.

Batman vs tmnt

Holy crossover, batman. i really like this movie, as a tmnt fan and a batman enjoyer this movie is just so good, many have said it before and i will continue to say it. the movie is so full of easter eggs, i'm still trying to figure out if that portrait in the turtle van is of mikey or jennika - everyone is characterised so well, the dynamics between the batfam and the turtles is done amazingly, alfred and mikey as a duo is delightful and as always the voice acting is so good, i would sell my soul to hear kyle mooney and baron vaughn as mikey and donnie again. eric bauza is always fun to see given his history with tmnt, so seeing him actually be a turtle for once was great, i really enjoyed his performance as leo, i still can't believe darren criss is raph. i'm a gleek and a huge starkid fan and i can't hear it but i know its true. its fucking insane. the movies story and pacing is just really good, and is one of the few animated tmnt iterations to actually let people get hurt, have visible injuries and get fully murdered on screen, when i saw that foot ninja DIE die i was fucking pumped, a lot of the other video iterations lack actual tension because yeah shredder wants to murder a guy but this is family programming, so he wont and can't. but you watch people die and suddenly that hologram the foot tried to kill doesn't just feel like a 1987 thing where the one time the villains are able to do real damage its a decoy, it feels like a truly necessary precaution, had batman not done that, someone would have died, no doubt. i've spent an extended period of time analysing the easter eggs in this movie, especially when it comes to the turtle van itself, i LOVE the van design, the fact its an old rv, the call back to 87, the spare tire being an anti-foot symbol, the grafitti saying 'Foot Stinks', the April calendar with a picture of a turtle on it, its all a genuine treat. I love this movie, i think it's the best tmnt film ever, i love rise's film but to me nothing holds a candle to this. rarely do i only ever have one criticism for a movie but the only issue i have with the movie is the fact they clearly imply mr freeze DIED and that mutated batman killed him but they NEVER TOUCH ON IT AGAIN. i need directors commentary, i need a script, i need SOMETHING to tell me what happened. anyways. the fighting is so much fun, i love it, it's delightful to watch a tmnt fight and to be fully dialed in because it feels like a real fight, 03 had some pretty good fight scenes but in essence they were very cartoony in the way they won a lot of the time, i just think the batman vs fights are golden, especially the penguin fight, but again, all of them are really good.

so yeah. i have a lot of tmnt opinions, there's more i could say about each iteration individually, especially the shows, but i'll leave it with a list of my favourite characters and their iterations.

IDW Karai, 2012 and 2003 karai, they mean the world to me, i'm a big karai fan and i think they're great. of course the neutrinos, as little as they appear they mean the world to me. 2003 casey is definitely my favourite casey, second is probably idw casey. Batman Donnie is so much fun, his lack of social awareness is really played up but it feels natural and very donnie and i love the think he does where he moves his head like he's going to hide it in his shell but doesn't so he's just poking out. Rise april has my entire heart, she's the best and i'd die for her. 03 and 24/MM Leo, they're both great. really the entire rise cast has my heart. also the 03 cast but special shout out to 03 splinter he's just very sweet. i have to stop now because i could yell about even more characters forever, so last one i would say Alopex, i think she's a great addition to the franchise and i hope more people adapt her.

in case you weren't wondering because i'll tell you anyways, i do have oc's, i just don't really draw that much or particularly well so i don't post about them, i do write about them but i don't publish it bc i don't think anyone would care much, i don't really dip into oc fic either so.

so yeah. general thoughts on most of the franchise! if you want me to expand on any of the thoughts i shared here i'd be happy to but for now my fingers ache from typing so bye :3

[albonoooo]

Just curious.. what is it about Daniel you don’t gel with?

(I’m also not a massive fan of him.. I don’t not like him, he’s just kinda meh to me really hahaha)

it's more a feeling than anything else. like, something about his demeanor just seems off to me. you know when all your friends know and like this one person and then you meet them for the first time and you just don't get it? very that.

since he's so well loved i felt like i had to like him at first, but i quickly realised i usually only don't mind him in combination with other drivers i like, for example max, and even then he's just not for me.

the whole teeheeing about misogynistic jokes on podcasts and being so wildly ignorant about anything outside of his dude-bro-bubble despite being a grown man who can be expected to possess a reasonable level of critical thinking skills - and know how to use them - also doesn't sit right with me. (and while i am very aware he's by far not the only driver guilty of that, it feels especially prominent in him to me personally.)

[i also feel like people tend to overrate him as a driver. that's not to say i think he's a bad driver, not at all, but after 12 years in f1 resulting in 8 race wins, some questionable career choices and worming his way into a junior team at 34 years old, i'm just. not that impressed. however, i also feel like i have a lot left to learn about the sport and the drivers and am thus not the most qualified to talk about these things especially, so please take this last paragraph with a grain of salt.]

most of this is obviously very subjective, i can totally see why so many people love him as much as they do and i don't judge them for it. it'll just never be me lol.

also, you don't have to, of course, but if you feel comfortable sharing, i'm quite curious about your favourite and least favourite drivers, anon!

[grief-worn]

munday: getting to know you ! ! !

Respond to the following prompts out of character, then tag others you'd like to get to know a little bit better!

ROLEPLAYER NAME: addi, or sometimes i go by glacier.

ROLEPLAYER PRONOUNS: they/them.

MUSE NAME: on this blog; shadowheart.

PREFERRED COMMUNICATION: gay hand-holding and parallel play. alternatively; here on tumblr (asks/dms/etc) or on discord if we're friends/good mutuals!

EXPERIENCE: i think my very first roleplay was on gmail chat, pfft. but i also did stuff on deviantart, IRC chatrooms, forums, skype/discord, and this one roleplay site i will not name because it's genuinely awful. (no it's not f-list). i have pretty limited experience writing on tumblr. just recently got back into it here after having a kinda meh experience in the resident evil fandom.

PREFERRED ROLEPLAY TYPE: not sure if this means like ... 3rd person? or like ... paragraph length? or what, but i'm open to pretty much anything! i'm super open-minded. i don't even dislike the infamous 1st person writing style, as someone who hungrily consumes reader insert fanfics.

PET PEEVES AND DEAL-BREAKERS: kind of a hard one to answer, but here's what i can think of off the top of my head:

guilt by association: dealt with a bit of this in another fandom. just because i'm writing with someone doesn't mean i'm aware of their issues. curate who you follow and what you see on your dash for sure, i will always understand quietly blocking to maintain your own peace, but i've gotten mixed up in some weird stuff just because i ended up writing with the wrong person.

heavy formatting: this isn't like, that big of a deal-breaker, i just specifically have poor eyesight and difficulty reading/processing words if there's a bunch of different fonts, and font sizes, and colors, and whatnot. definitely might be something i ask people to tone down, but it doesn't really make me mad haha.

soft blocking instead of hard blocking: i'm pretty stupid. please make it obvious if you don't wanna interact anymore! otherwise i won't realize and i'll probably accidentally make it worse orz.

vagueposting/sub-tweeting: that stuff is kinda mean and weird. i don't like seeing it!

PLOTS OR MEMES: either one is awesome, but they both definitely have their contextual uses! sometimes a bit of talking beforehand is nice, sometimes i like just winging it. they're both fun!!

LONG REPLIES OR SHORT REPLIES: again, they're both fun. long replies are sort of harder to get to since they take so long to write but sometimes that's exactly what i want; to get lost in a reply for like 2 hours straight. not sure if i have a preference, it's just that short replies are faster and therefore fit better into my daily schedule, but that doesn't mean i don't love dumping my text walls <3

BEST TIME TO WRITE: unfortunately i've found that writing at 4am when everyone is asleep is a WONDERFUL time for my creativity hehe. i wish i could write as good in the daylight hours lol !!!

ARE YOU LIKE YOUR MUSE: yes and no. personality wise; not really. we're both kind of goofy deep, deep down. and i project a lot of myself onto her, but i think that's just because her story and trauma resonate with me very strongly! i try not to like, overwrite her character and inject too much of my own stuff. i honestly just have the biggest, fattest crush on her and i need more of her in whatever way i possibly can have. i guess we both love animals. but i'd never have such ugly bangs. ew, shadowheart.

tagged by: @astralrogue (thank you very much!)

tagging: whoever wants to do this :3 it's sharing a lot of ooc info so i don't wanna pressure peeps!!!

[kikuism]

mid-year book wrapup!

i've read 24 books so far. i'm reading much slower than i was last year and that's fine with me, i feel like i can actually remember each book i read this year much better.

1) best book i've read so far:

the best books i've read so far are definitely poor things and the library at mount char. for poor things, i totally wasn't expecting to even read very much at all after giving the intro a quick skim....and before i knew it i'd read half the book in one go. it was such a wonderful surprise. i couldn't put it down if i tried. very clever and outrageously funny—biggest surprise of the year for me and i'm very pleased; i'd go so far as to say it's one of my new favorites.

the library at mount char gripped me from start to finish, an andrenaline fueled absurd ride that's tons of fun and which you need to go into blind—reading this deep in the throes of a cold only enhanced the experience. i love a fucked up story!

2) best sequel i've read so far:

i haven't read any sequels so far!

3) new release i haven't read yet but want to:

there are many! here are some—

4) most anticipated release for the second half of the year:

5) biggest disappointment:

ok i am exaggerating a little in regards to the last one but let me explain—

before the coffee gets cold: the biggest disappointment for sure. i wasn't expecting it to be a new fave or anything but i was sure i was going to find this charming and heartbreaking the way so many others did but i just couldn't care for it. i found the execution awkward and clunky which really affected my immersion. it was just so painfully meh.

the secret book of flora lea: didn't go into this with any sort of expectations tbh but considering the subject matter and setting i thought it was going to be at least a little better than it actually was. alas the WW2 englad setting wasn't enough to save this. like it actually makes me mad how stupid and silly the dialogue got toward the end, and don't even talk about the coincidences that wrapped everything up, how convenient *throws refrigerator across the room* at least the descriptions were quite beautiful

the heart's invisible furies: ok now this i admit i went into with some raised expectations bc 1) the goodreads rating, so many people can't be wrong surely? and more importantly 2) this is an epic historical coming of age story set in ireland like hello it was made for me? if anyone was supposed to love this it was me if any book was supposed to be my favorite read of the year it was supposed to be this one but alas. i refuse to repeat the paragraphs i wrote for my goodreads review but my problem was that the balance between comedy and tragedy was handled poorly. any emotional scene was quickly and bizarrely undercut with some poor attempt at humor that made the experience so jarring. and the comedy was so cartoonish that it almost felt satirical but no i was supposed to take all that seriously? and 600 pages of cyril misunderstanding conversations got real tiring after a while it had me gritting and grinding my teeth. this isn't to say there was nothing good about it—i enjoyed the depiction of ireland in the 50s as a complete and complex society filled with all sorts of people just trying to live their lives under the rule of the church. there were one or two moments that made me tear up, and i actually quite enjoyed the first bit with cyril's mother. but ultimately i had way more complaints than praises. this just proves to me that a really good multigenerational story is a feat only few can accomplish (the dutch house ann patchett you will always be famous). sometimes i feel crazy scrolling through all the five star reviews for this book like am i delusional?? did i miss something?? but i stand by my thoughts. and i will say that's a killer title!

6) biggest surprise:

i said it already but poor things! especially since i was adamant on watching the movie blind. but it was available on libby which surprised me a lot bc i expected a huge waiting list at the time, so i borrowed it just for fun and told myself i was just going to read the introduction. it ended up becoming one of my top reads of the year.

and okay fine, the will of the many—i am grudgingly impressed how i couldn't stop reading it, since it's received a stupid amount of hype and it's written by a white man hgkshfhd it was a matter of pride for me

7) favorite new author:

i haven't felt that way about any of the authors i've read so far tbh!

8) newest favorite character:

i don't have one hgkshfj for some reason it's really really really hard for me to have a new favorite Book character. usually what happens is that i like a character and find them engaging (like bella from poor things, or danny and maeve from the dutch house) but to reach Favorite status is a feat that only few books manage. the only series in the last few years that has managed to do that is the locked tomb, what a strong cast of characters wow! it's such a skill to pull off.

9) a book that made me cry:

none of the books i've read so far have made me cry!

10) a book that made me happy:

probably poor things! it's not exactly a feel good cozy book but i had such a a good time with it and i laughed a lot

11) what book(s) do you need to read by the end of the year?

reached the image limit but here are some books i would like to read by the end of the year:

the lion women of tehran

the fifth season

a sorceress comes to call

the night ends with fire

intermezzo

the infernal devices (don't @ me i've been in a situationship with these books since high school....i still haven't read them but everyone says the love triangle in them is off the walls and after watching challengers it made me really want to experience another real love triangle so maybe....maybe this is the year i'll finally pick up clockwork angel)

i tag @schech @matchas @sailermoon @silouvertongues and anyone else who wants to share what they've been reading!

[luveline]

dear jade,

Im 23 and I would say I’m doing ok the scheme of things. I moved to a new city and my job is meh and I have friends and it seems fine but I can’t help but feel lonely especially because I have a p rocky relationship with my family members and sometimes all I want is someone whose excited to see me and do errands with me. I like my friends but most of them r actually moving soon and I’m scared about having to try to make new friends and idk I guess I was wondering if you had any tips on feeling lonely bc I really want a bf but also the mature part of my brain knowing having a bf won’t fix anything per say.

Hey!

My tips for feeling lonely. I think I was a very lonely person for a long time, and I'll give you my advice rather than what a therapist or a professional might say, so please take it with a pinch of salt. EDIT : I'm not trying to say I know better than a therapist btw I don't just that you can find that everywhere so I wanted to be more personable

I think if you really want a boyfriend, you're right in thinking it won't fix everything, but I also don't think it's a bad idea. The want to be in a relationship is one that most people will experience in their lives, it's very natural, and of course lots of things can go wrong and you can end up very hurt, but I still think that looking for love and a partner to be with wouldn't fix everything but it would probably be a good thing. BUT. it is also very very important to have friends and family too. Friends are so hard😭 and they move away and even if you make new ones you won't know who they are, but I think the standards for friendship are kind of skewiff these days, so my advice to you is to try and make relationships with people that are casual in a sense, but honest and caring, too. I know it isn't easy, you can't just magically clap your hands and make it happen, and there's a balance to be struck between being forgiving with people but not wanting them to walk all over you and your boundaries. (Sorry this paragraph is a little behemoth but hopefully my main point is that a boyfriend won't fix things but it probably won't do you any harm to have love and intimacy in your life, but don't try to fill the gaps that friends and family are leaving with a boyfriend because it may leave you feeling worse (which I'm sure was your original point, sorry😭))

I'm sorry to hear about your rocky relationships with family and I certainly won't stand here and tell you to try and fix them because family can be impossible and hurtful and too much to deal with. I hope things get better with them but I also understand that they might not, and I want to tell you that that's okay! Family by blood is real but family can also be anything you want it to be, including friends or a partner or people in your community. It's tough though, and I'm sorry!

ANYWAYS you didn't actually ask for any of the above and I'm really sorry if what I've said so far is unsolicited or incorrect, I can't pretend to know every detail of your situation but I think i can understand how you're feeling, like things are fine but loneliness is still pervasive anyways

When I'm feeling really really really lonely, there are a couple of things I do. I talk to friends (and not to tell them I'm lonely, maybe just to send a video or something) and I don't mind admitting that I don't have tons of friends, but the very best one I've made was through the Internet, so I definitely recommend trying to make friends via the Internet with people who have your interests in common! Friends in real life are sometimes friends because we see them a lot, which isn't a bad thing (it's actually GOOD to be friends with people who are different from us) but often means that we can find ourselves a bit unsure of where we stand or how to keep the friendship going when they move away.

I do all the usual things the Internet tells you to do, too, because this stuff sucks but it really works, like taking a very hot shower or going for a walk. Sometimes it absolutely doesn't work and then you're just walking around feeling lonely and miserable though, but it's worth a try. sometimes we feel lonely because we realise how unhappy we are and that we don't have anyone who's worried about how unhappy we are, if that makes sense? Like a consequence of the human condition, we actually do want attention when we feel shitty and there's no crime in that.

But sometimes all the usual stuff doesn't work! When I was at my Loneliest and most depressed, where I really truly could not see a light at the end of the tunnel kind of situation, I turned to writing. It literally saved me and saved my life and made it one worth living (as someone who doesn't have very much ambition). I think that finding a hobby and trying to master it or at least trying to create can really do wonders for a lonely person because it gives you a sense of worth or a sense of purpose outside of personal relationships. I always tell people I think they should start writing but what I mean is that finding a way to express yourself or finding a way to make things that you can look at with pride is great.

But obviously one hobby isn't going to get rid of all your loneliness, and I don't think it necessarily has to. I was recently talking to someone about this kind of thing and we spoke about this quote from a poem by ocean zuong, "loneliness is still time spent with the world." You will feel loneliness at different points of your life for the rest of time and so will I, and it's going to be very painful at some points, but I think if we can try to look at loneliness as more neutral, we can feel lonely without putting pressure on ourselves to fix it. It would be very tiring for you if you were always expected to fix your own loneliness. Sometimes there's nothing you can do and im so sorry to say that and to hear about how you're feeling, because it's not fair. But loneliness isn't like hunger, there's no guarantee that you can make it better by doing any one thing, you just have to hope that the world is going to be kind to you. When it isn't, you have to be kind to yourself! Try to treat yourself as you'd treat someone else going through a hard time, get yourself a treat if you can and remember that just because you're lonely doesn't mean you deserve to be, you're a unique person with all these interesting things about you that I'm sure people are one day going to discover and love, I'm sure people already do!

[wild-wombytch]

Mix of reading review and personal shits and existential crisis about lesbianism : (also TW for rape, I'm putting the most TMI paragraphs in purple so you can skip them)

I finished reading a French book with pictures and portraits of lesbians. While I liked it (there are especially fascinating portraits of immigrant lesbians and elderly lesbians), I have mixed feelings about it.

On the bright side, no TIM apparently, even a TIF dating only lesbians and not pretending to be male who was quite wholesome to read about. We stan endangered species.

And the less bright side...A lot of the women here seem to be bisexuals calling themselves lesbians and saying they "became" lesbians or they made a choice or were "happy" with their male exes. A lot of uses of "queer" (although all these women undeniably are SSA, have sex with and date women). The average experience seems to be women who were with their moid for 8y or so, had kids with them, and then had experiences with women or met their current long-term female partner and have more babies with them.

It's a bit disappointing. Like, I can understand older women who married long term with men maybe being lesbians. I can understand women trying to be with men (like I did) because they had no real representation of lesbian relationships (especially in rural/very religious areas) and never questioned their lack of attraction to men because they thought everyone was meh about them and hetero relationships were seen as the "default" or because they were afraid of their attraction to women.

But I'm sorry, women who are happy with men can't be lesbian by definition. And women who stay for YEARS with their moids... like c'mon. (Kinda TMI following) I spent two weeks and a half with "mine" because I was stuck in a foreign country and couldn't go home after two days there and I already felt sick and wanted to kms and had genuine mental breakdowns curling on the floor crying and only calming down by mentally organising my luggage and making plans to maybe hitchhike and panhandle my way to the airport while taking opioids until I was numb enough to be gaslighted into giving him another chance. And another. And another...and so on.

Technically, I was never fully penetrated because I was so repelled that I became a venus flytrap and I'm thinking that the bleeding I had was more about having tears down there than my hymen. Very much a "you shall not pass" moment.

When I tried again with a male thinking that maybe it was just because the other one sucked as a person and disgusted me as an individual and other men would be different, I almost threw up during intimacy and cried (which didn't keep him from forcing me to sex acts I didn't want and which made me sick and hurt me anyway).

Genuine question: do y'all think it's possible to be lesbian when you're with a man for years? To be lesbian and have kids with your husband? Could it be internalized lesbophobia and lack of solid French lesbian community ? Or is it genuinely impossible in your opinion?

Because at the same time...a lot of these women also spent like 15, 20y with their current partners and couldn't be with men anymore if they were single.

But it bothers me. From one hand, this book is good at getting rid of the guilt of having been with men/raped by men, but on the other hand...I genuinely couldn't relate to the average narrative there. There was I believe 1-2 lesbian only who were gold stars and while some say men weren't for them or were a mistake...I haven't seen strong words against men and the male body or penises.

Like, for me, what makes me call myself a lesbian is not just my love/desire/attraction to women, it's also my repulsion for the male body, no matter how much I attempted to "fix" it. (Kinda TMI) And looking in hindsight to all the signs, like constantly ""joking"" "haha but what if I'm a lesbian" or being against traveling (before caving in the pressure) because just reading about penetration genuinely made me sick to the stomach and made me dizzy in a bad way, even before I was confronted to actual irl dicks (that plus dysphoria). I went with men in the first place because I'm fucked up and struggle to dissociate friendship, fear and love, and my ex was the first person who seemed to not treat me like garbage (the very first days we met online at least, afterwards it's a very different story) and because I had problems with alcohol and stuff and thought I was pansexual because I was attracted to women but never asking myself if I ever felt something for men (I didn't, except fear. Which sometimes gets tangled with having "butterflies" because again, I'm fucked up).

Idk, for me lesbianism by definition is tied to repulsion or at the very least indifference towards the male body (all the male bodies, not just the ones who traumatized you), not just attraction to the female body, which can be bisexuality.

I'm also curious (since I see this hot topic a lot) about everyone's opinion about women who simp for, say, fictional men (maybe even exclusively feminine male characters, created to cater to a female audience). Who for example have fantasies about them, which don't involve penetrative sex, thinking of dicks or male characteristics they'd be confronted to irl like smell and hair and average moid behaviours. Could it be internalized homophobia/misogyny? A way to feel safe/deal with some ossues they had with males? Can they be lesbians (maybe lesbian in denial)? If so, does it i stop once they accept themselves? Or is it a dead giveaway of bisexuality? Curious of what radfems think about this since I've since very varying opinions on Reddit and such and met women like that irl.

[hana-no-seiiki]

hellooo! you're one of my favorite writers on this site, and each and every one of your stories never fail to intrigue and captivate me!

I'm interested in dipping my own toes into writing, but I'm not very confident in my own skill.

If it's not too much to ask, do you have any tips when it comes to writing stories?

again, love your work so much ❤️ i hope you're doing well, and remain safe and healthy :D

Some practical ones and some not (tysm btw!! my writings in quotev were a lot more polished ngl i prefer those, but here i get to let my adhd fester and ended up writing more)

Number One: Just write. Often times an idea pops up in the middle of the night and if you have the headspace and time to do so, write.

Number One 1/2: If you don’t wanna write, then don’t. Chances are you’ll get a lot of asks for continuations and whatnot. It’ll get overwhelming.

Number Two: Make rules and boundaries. Don’t be afraid to be mean when enforcing them. Block if necessary.

Number Three: Use personal experience. Idk why people see those as cringe but I found it to enhance my own writing.

Number Four: SPACES. Space your paragraphs! Don’t make walls of texts good lord.

Number Five: Especially in tumblr, take into account every single trigger. If you’re gonna get into Dark Content it’s a must.

Number Six: Get a proofreader if you really want your work to be good. Honestly a lot of popular fics here have a ton of grammatical and spelling errors so if that’s your goal then any level of skill is fine.

Number Seven: TAG MEH- I WANNA READ-

[dexaroth]

tagged by @blyszczopies to answer questions and tag mutuals id like to get to know better :3 tag list is at the bottom!

⭐ Favorite color:

i honestly have had some 'color opinions' sloshing through my head for a while.. its complicated but you can rarely go wrong with these ones 👆 these are the ones I like the most! specially when combined together!

for favorites.. it depends a lot on how you use the colors and if they're alone or accompanied! some things look bad if they're just completely sky blue and such..

(putting this under a read more bc its a Very long post)

for the purposes of having an ultimate favorite color.. man i honestly don't know. it's a completely even match between purple and blue, though only the non-100% saturated shades of blue bc true blue is quite unbearable. I think the ultimate champion in questions of how many things can work with it would be blue. sometimes too much purple can be unbearable, but too much blue not so much

red Can be beautiful in many cases, but orange is simply superior between pure yellow and pure red. pure yellow specifically is literally unbearable for me. i hate it so much. for me to like a yellow it HAS to be going towards orange or its nothin'. lime green is super beautiful but pure green is also too much, and so is cyan. though the specific range of teal/green-blue can be nice, but it does not come close to lime green, instead it accents it quite nicely.

we don't talk about pink. or magenta. or any of its hideous nicknames. perish the thought!

⭐ Last song played: erm. well. you see, most of the music i have downloaded came from youtube. and quite a bit of them from compilations of songs all in one usually 30+ minute video..

the one currently playing is by Lauren Bousfield. i've tried searching for the - actually paragraph cancelled. i thought it was one of the comps by the pavor nocturnus1 channel but it turned out to be from some random other channel. i was having trouble identifying which song it was because it's a single audio file but it turns out the song currently in that queue to be playing is the song Cascading Retail Spaces!

i've had this album compilation downloaded since.. 2017! damn! and other albums of hers too. I don't know anything else about her though, but her music slaps :3

⭐ Currently reading: ah.. i dont read at all sorry 😭 does looking at the drawings from the morpho books series grant me any pity points perchance..

⭐Currently craving: WAFFLES!!!! GOD PLEASE!! and cookies..

^my cookie pile in project zomboid. can you tell?? (no waffles bc they're randomly found and not able to be baked like cookies..)

⭐Coffee or tea: neither soz.. i did try to enjoy coffee like 10 years ago but its just meh. tea as well, very boring. not counting the fact i have to load these suckers with sugar for them to even be worth drinking >.> but i suppose i'd choose tea over coffee simply due to variety and that some are naturally sweet :J

tagging: @moodycarcass @oxu @crazysodomite (maybe even u again timo if u wanna awnser my curious inquiries below.. muahaha)

additionally might i add my own questions... for funsies :33

favorite stone pattern:

favorite time of day:

favorite cloud pattern:

actually hm its quite hard to come up with somewhat potentially universal interesting questions. fuck. erm

FAVORITE ANIMAL!!! this question never disappoints. additionally favorite family of animals maybe?..

also from the makers of the best question ever above.. what's the silliest/weirdest animal off the top of your head?

last dumb mistake in a game?

last triumph in a game? (life cant all be losses afterall..!)

favorite clothing pattern?

worst + best texture(s) to feel?

and finally.. name one cool thing that happened this week. no matter how small. it is your duty now! commence!

actually i suppose it'd be weird to not awnser my own questions.. well here goes:

i like the one stone pattern that's a bunch of thin slabs slotted together. the ref image i have says its name is cliffstone/bluff stone! i also like the 'bavarian castle' one!

time of day: DUSK!!! MY LOVELY DUSK!!! though dawn is veeery nice as well. i used to be fonder of the night but dusk is just sooo niceys. dawn loses points for giving way to the boring middays though. but every time of day has its charm

cloud pattern; i actually dont know their names besides cummulonimbus..? lemme search..

according to this chart ive found on ddg. nimbus! i love gray skies and i love rain and i love fog. stratus and scuds are also nice

fav animal: erm.. got myself in my own question! i dont think i have a true favorite? i suppose ill go with jerboas.. as for the family. rodents of course. im the rodent mutual how could i not choose rodents! blasphemy!

silliest animal: off the top of my head? its a worm-like animal with a goofy face.. i thought it was legless lizards but that's not quite it.. i dont remember the name 😞

though there is a guy that's named worm lizard apparently.. oh such a foofy goofus

last dumb mistake in a game: most recently i was trying to go back to my base in a car in project zomboid and ran straight into a insane zombie crowd. the car got stuck in the grass bc it was loaded to the brim and i tried to move it backwards and let zombies approach me with the hope i'd run away from them on time, but it was not moving and then i panicked and stepped outside the car near a zombie with the sprint key enabled, bumped into the zombie, fell on the ground and by the time the get up animation started the zombie was already eating my guy. i was so mad

last triumph in a game: not much of a triumph but i got to fitness and stregth to lvl 6 in pz which are grindy time consuming skills to lup. but i have a base and crops and my coogieeees

favorite clothing pattern: i also dont know!! id say checkers that arent too busy or its derivatives. but also star/celestial patterns of course

^ from my fashion inspo folder

worst + best texture(s) to feel: i hate silk and those ones that are like a million little hairs that i dont know the name in english. best i suppose would be plush/cotton? i dont know their names either lol

and finally.. name one cool thing that happened this week: hmm. i suppose the nice sky i saw earlier today? though also one my af attacks has gotten a lot more notes than i expected. which is epic 💪🐁

[kidge-planet]

survivor

Pidge angst!!

We know that pidge have been through bullying and that her family was the only thing she had… But then, Sam and Matt disapeared…What if she hadn’t been strong enough?

This is an angst fic, the subjects are su**de, depre$$ion and bullying (quick mention of bullying). If one of these subjects trigger you, pass your way!!!!!!!!!!!

’’’’python

def open_file(private):

try:

with open(private_txt, ‘r’) as file:

content=private_txt.read()

print(content)

except FileNotFoundError:

print( ‘‘the file wasn’t found’’)

[...]

I don’t really know how to start… Well, if you read this, it means that im dead.

Sounds cliché and all, but it’s true, and im sorry.

I always give up at some point and I guess that I just reached my breaking point.

Times has been hard, lately. I mean, It has always been. But since dad and Matt left, nothing makes sense anymore. Their death seem so strange and I know you won’t listen to me, but I can tell that there is something that the Garrison doesnt tell us… I did everything I could to find it out but every thing I found were small pieces… The rest is missing and I did everything I could to figure it out.

All that to say, two of the only things that were keeping me alive left, you are now all that I have, mom ( and Bae’).

I tried to be strong but you know how weak I am. I can’t.

You know, im tired.

Im tired to be the weird one,

Im tired that other people take advantage of me all the time, I hate it.

Im tired to feel scared of mans,

Im tired of never standing for myself because im not brave enough.

Im tired of being scared,

Im tired to lose everyone I care about.

Im tired of my name,

Im tired of people calling me.

Im tired of myself,

tired of my body,

Im tired.

Im sick because of all that. It is to me the right reason to stop.

I swear, I tried so hard to change, I tried to be normal. But I came to the conclusion that you can’t change what you are. I will always be all that I hate, all that makes me tired, all that makes me sick.

Im probably not important to that world, less than I thought. You know, I really thought that I would do something amazing. But I guess that dad made me believe this. And he’s not here now.

I want to write every words to maybe live somehow, but meh, too lazy.

THIS is my last good bye to this freaking discusting world (That I hope will change).

I love you mom. You’ve always been there for me. All my tiny life.

Thank you for being a good person in this fucking world. Like, fuck everything and everyone, except you.

I hate it so much.

I HATE goodbyes.

But I guess it is for the best.

Im sorry.

I LOVE YOU,

-Katie

After reading this, Hunk turnes towards Lance and Keith that were behind him, reading that same farewell letter. Initially, Both Hunk and Lance wanted to have a revange on Pidge after she pranked them…

But they simply wanted to find an ambarassing picture of her… Not that horrifying paragraph...

They swore to never tell Pidge about that and gave up on trying to prank her…

sometimes, we don’t know a lot about our friends pasts… And sometimes, it better stay unknown.

A/N: this is my very late halloween fic! When I wrote it, I felt like it was a bit cringe but whatever... I still hope that you "enjoyed" reading it, even tho it is a litteral sui**de note----- Be careful about the ones you love, help people that are living a tough moment and of course, take great care of yourself! Never be scared to ask for help! Sui**de is never the solution and that fic does not encourage it!

[historixally-accurate]

good afternoon...sheepishly slides into your inbox...

sorry for nit appearing sooner, i had to go out yesterday and i was wiped, teehee.

i love writing letters and long form messages for people, its like my fucked up little love language or some shit. everytime i get to write a card for someone its like im giving them an entire english essay dawg

dumping 5 test papers on you and dipping for junehols is WILD even for primary school🤯🤯🤯 and you're so real for hatin on SG math. it was downhill from P1 for me. feel free to complain because i will understand dawg i am math's #1 hater.

i wish my teacher saw the kazuha blunt birthday gift the same way as you did. she told me to erase it :( LMAOOOO no hard feelings but it was funny while it lasted.

having HBG themed wallpapers fron everything is so cool thats sooooo positive aura brother😍😍me personally i just have my own art as my phone home screen...ahahaha im considering drawing 21mustard and putting him there instead.

its actually so cool to see soneone talk about nemerald and fyro like you do. i just feel like they go underappreciated too often D: if i actually had more tine to watch more vods i would draw them more often!!!!! WHY ARE EMERALDS STREAMS SOMEHOW ALWAYS MORE THAN LIKE 15 HOURS IM GOING TO RIOT mr emerald......please......have some pity on my poor SG ass......your skibidi aura is fading......

minesweeper speedrunning is actually something im doing from time to time, not really serious at all lmao. i think maybe i should livestream playing it to some of my friends one day. my reactions are always so funny. one time when i made a throw on par with one of poundy's i almost fell off my chair in deppsair. urm! anyway

i believe minesweeper is a beginner friendly game for everyone! its kinda like the chrome dinosaur game , its only for recreation.so i guess you could just call me a unnecessary sweat. my bad. i have this chronic illness called "must be competitive in all the wrong things".

COMPKETELY UNRELATED but im curious, have you ever thought about HBG's like heights. white men r always so goddamn tall wtf... can i habe some.....por favor. ive heard some members make fun of couri for being short, but im sure that mf is 100% taller than me , lol. real SG student Gs know the euphoria of hearing your PE teacher saying your height and relaising you grew 0.5cm!!!! ok maybe thats a little too much info ill stop now. its a silly thing to think about, but im generally a silly person. my irls can and will talk about the stupid things ive done for like. 1 hour struaght. im kinda like the joker. wragh!!!!

ALSO one last question :> have you ever thought about who in Hbg best matches ur vibe, lol. personally i dont know hbg well enough to say for certain, but i feel like i have silver's deadpan glare when i really lock in.

hopefully youre still doin well, seeinf as that last mime doodle you sent (i love these btw) had what looked like (GASP) complete the square?!?!?! hope youre not going through it 😗

im coincidentally also sending this around the same time as you did yesterday....so.... have a great rest of the day :D - sgmcsr anon

yoey nonnie! boy is it late, what, almost 11/11 LMAO

anyway, time to get into answering my daily inbox because I've been busy todya </3

about messages, I am a natural born yapper, I've been getting a1 for my English for the past... 4 years? and I love writing loooong paragraphs, so you're not alone! I love being a yapper and sharing my silly ideas with the world.. it makes me feel heard <3

about psle, that shit was. aha. ohh. wow. yah. I used to be in a school that was considered very good, so the pressure was a LOT. every single day I was grinded to do papers and revise things even after school, even after all that I did pretty meh. even tho I did meh, I'm still grinding my ass off in the sch I was posted to </3 horrid horrid horrid

about the blunt smoking kazuha, I appreciate anyone who doodles using whiteboard markers, I think that may be one of the hardest mediums to work with 😭 god bless soldier, really 😭😭😭😭 id love to see it

about the illness that is HBG wallpapers, if you're curious, this is my current homescreen :3

it's messy and all over the place, but WHATEVER BA. I don't gaf ☝️☝️ the swag aura can be FELT by every member of my family. I've even gotten my sister to utter the words "mongey" and "mongeyful" during our walk today 😭 also 21mustard is so swaggy cool. you go yet another fast speedrunning white boy. hell yeha

about OH YM GOD FYROAH AND NEM. OHHH. FALLS OVER. CRIES ON THE GROUND. ROLLS AROUND. FUCK. OH MY GOD. I LOVE THEM. AUUGHHGAHGHA. I'll draw them if they interact in the upcoming BAC stream. I'll draw them like no tomorrow. ALSO. EMERALDS SKIBIDI AURA FADING GOT ME LOWKEY CACKLING. mr n emerald. your skibidi aura is leaving your body. any longer and I will absorb it for myself. I need that skibidi aura. give it to me.

about minesweeper, oh.. I really want to learn how to play it.. it looks super fuckin fun dude oh my skibidi rizz. also. I feel how you feel. I was on good pace learning how to route chalice bridge routes today, and lost it because a piglin knocked me into lava and I forgot to pop a fire res pot. devastating. I was coping so hard. hit the copium so hard I left vc and cried. talkingmime give me your energy. 我求求您。please. PELASE. PLEASEEEE. FUCK

ha. anyway. about learning minesweeper, I've played it a few times, and I really like it.. I've just never gotten good at it and. dropped it faster than when I saw my new lit book for the first time this year. <3 (I get the competitiveness. every singaporean has it etched into their brain like microchip and code. it's ok. I get it)

about HBG heights. THOSE MOTHERFUCKING BITCHASS STREAMERS ALL OF THEM ARE LIKE. I SWEAR. 5'10 AND ABOVE. erm. unless your name is couriway. sorry. BUT ANYWAY. yeah. they're. so tall???? for what. one day if I ever get to meet any HBG members, I will dissect and take their legs. pls. I want to be at least 5'3 or 5'4. I'm like. 154cm rn. I'm so short. I'm short. help. hel p. help. also! shoutout height and weight during PE. I love learning that I haven't grown in the past 5 months </3 fucking dumb.

also? nonnie may be the joker. hehehehaw.

about who in HBG matches my vibe, I'd say in terms of character, one of my friends did say that I really remind him of dandannyboy, but i feel like I am. like feinberg. that feinberg guy. except that I'm fucking stupid. everyone else who doesn't know me knows me as that talkingmime dude. so. idk? idk. I really don't know. I'm saying fein because when I get pressed over something, oh boy I get PRESSED. :')

holidays are going great, yeah, completing squares. fuck that shit is fun. I love amath. wowie. Hehe. haha. I'm so smart. I think. wowie.

it's almost 12 25am because yay fo no school ☝️☝️☝️ I can do this as LATE AS I WANT MF 🦅🦅🦅🦅🦅🦅

nonnie, as always, have a beautiful mongeyful day.... I await your response ☝️☝️☝️☝️☝️☝️☝️☝️☝️☝️☝️

obligatory mime drawing because you asked me things ^_^

[the---hermit]

The Parasite by Arthur Conan Doyle

Yet another book out of my unread pile. I did only read this story/novella, and not the others included in the edition I am holding up, because I listened to the audiobook and not read the physical copy. Anyway brefore reading this I had only read Shelock Holmes stories by this author, so I was really curious to see what his other stuff was like. I really like Sherlock Holmes, but knowing the author liked his other stuff best I have always been intrigued. This was definitely a good introduction for me personally since the vibe of this story is very much gothic, and if you have read a few of my other book reviews you might know how much I love gothic litterature. Even though in the end I didn't love this story.

The Parasite is a novella that focuses on mesmerism, a very popular topic in the Victorian era. Mesmerism consists in an invisible force that can have physical influences, which was believed to be posessed by living creatures. In this particular story it takes the form of a sort of hypnotism and mind control. The story is told through the journal entries of the main character, a very skeptical scientist. This man is close friends with another professor who studies the occult and who will introduce him to a woman who claims to have this kind of power and will try to prove him wrong. I have very mixed opinions about this book. I think the idea is very interesting and having the story narrated through journal entries works amazingly in my opinion. The main problem was the fact that I didn't like the main character at all, he was very repetitive and I was overall not rooting for him as much as I probably should have. There's definitely a whole set of things that aged poorly since the late 1800s. The character refers very often to the idea that one's heritage influences their character, which falls under the huge chategory of scientific racism that was very much popular at the time. It's a huge topic that I cannot talk about here because it's not the place, but it's so present in this story it was hard to overlook. Other than it just being questionable, it was hard to read the story and take certain things seriously, because how am I supposed to take seriously a character that claims his "weaknesses" (and I could start a whole paragraph on this word alone) are due to the fact that he is not an EnglishmanTM. As I was saying this is a topic that could trigger a lot of discourse, but I am here to talk about the book so I won't go into it deeper than that. The story was also quite predictable, maybe I wouldn't have minded too much if there hadn't been as many things I didn't like about the writing. So my overall opinion is that the idea of the story had lots of potential but the writing and the fact that it didn't age too well made it a bit meh. Through the whole thing I had the feeling that this story would benefit from a retelling or a new take on the story, and I am still of that opinion.

[curator-on-ao3]

💙🩷💛, which is as my love for you, but also the ask game.

Ahh, thank you my wonderful @grissomesque! ❤️

💙 Blue: What inspires you to finish writing a fanfic, and what makes you quit writing one at any stage in the process?

Pure stubbornness gets me to finish. Lemme tell you what happened last night. My WIP? 40Kish words? I did another edit over the course of maybe two days. My life is busy, so edits happened in the waiting areas of various kid lessons, parking lots, stolen moments at home, etc. I got to the bottom of the doc, cleanup draft done, and something happened that I’d never seen before — a red software bar saying there had been a critical error and the document was corrupted.

All my edits over the last couple of days had become gibberish along the lines of my changing “Chris says” to “Chris tells” becoming “Chris saytellss.” Some words were duplicated. Punctuation moved. My backups were of no use and the file corruption included recovery versions — which makes no sense but that’s what I saw with my own two eyes.

I stayed up late, woke up in the middle of the night, and started again first thing this morning to clean up that damn document while my memory was still fresh for the changes I had made.

If it’s a story I want to tell, I will not be fucking defeated.

Now, if there’s a WIP I lose interest in or decide I don’t want to write or whatever, that’s fine. Sometimes what I think will be a story is actually a few paragraphs and an abandoned concept. Learning experience noted, no harm, no foul. But I guess to answer the question, I quit writing if I feel like the story isn’t worth telling. I’ll wrestle with a beast (see above), but if the story is just meh, both the characters and I have better things to do.

🩷 Pink: Do you find a certain character (or characters) easy to write? More difficult -- and if so, do you avoid writing that character (or those characters) when possible?

Damn, I’d like to write more Pelia. I love her so much. She’s definitely not easy for me to write, but I don’t want to avoid her for that reason. I feel like an asshole saying I find certain characters easy to write because who am I to say I write them well? So I’ll leave it at wanting to write more Pelia.

💛 Yellow: Do you ever alter, highlight, or de-emphasize certain canonical traits in a character? If so, why and describe how.

Heck, yeah. I think we all do, including professional writers from episode to episode. I emphasize what I find interesting or what’s useful for a certain story (Una can’t possibly care about her nails every time) and I’ll highlight the heck out of what I think is neat (as you know, when a commenter wrote that she went to transcripts to try to argue my Tom Paris characterization but instead saw that what she thought was in the show was not, indeed, in the show — what a great moment as a fic writer to have my interpretation of canon help another person see a character through fresh eyes).

Also, as we all are very much aware, Trek canon characterization can be inconsistent. Annoying as a viewer. Potentially useful (and potentially annoying) as a fic writer.

Thank you again for asking, @grissomesque! 🩷🐼

> questions from the fanfic ask game <

[autisticlancemcclain]

any tips for writing (Grammar, english, etc)? You one of the best writers I’ve ever had the pleasure of reading and I want to learn from the best!

(also, lots of love your the best!! ❤️)

thank you!! and YES i have tips omg.

1. read. all the time. whenever you can. i’ve always been pretty decent at writing, but i also spent most of my childhood desperately devouring any words i could. i read a million different genres, for a billion different topics. non fiction textbooks, graphic novels, field journals, novels, anything! even films work, especially if you’re looking at dialogue.

2. just write stuff down. the best way to learn is by doing, and this goes especially for writing. your first drafts are going to have a lot of issues, and even the first things you post are going to be meh compared to what you will do in the future. but that’s okay! i’m sure if you directly compare some of the dialogue and paragraph spacing in my old stuff compared to now you’ll se a world of difference, and that just came from months and months of daily practice.

3. read more, but this time analytically. when you read something now, look critically at how it’s written. how are they dividing up their paragraphs? are they longer or shorter? is it for every new idea, or is it more than that? do their paragraphs flow well enough that i barely notice? why? and what about their dialogue? can i speak it out loud and make it sound natural? does this sound like real things people would say? how are they using punctuation to mimic nonverbal speaking cues? how can i imitate that? how is the character reflected in the way they speak? and finally, what about their pacing? does this story make sense from a time standpoint? do i feel like things are happening too slowly or too quickly, or does the timing feel real? why? how could i slow things down?

4. keep an eye out for writers giving some advice. i follow the ‘writing advice’ tag on here, as well as some published writers like @neil-gaiman . they often have a plethora of excellent advice. i read once on here (i can’t remember where) that the best way to show pauses in dialogue is to cater your stories so it takes your reader longer to read — like, for example, showing what your character is doing between pauses or stretches of dialogue, or describing what they’re thinking, or even just using spacing effectively. it was very helpful!

5. edit, edit, edit! go over your work with a kind and critical eye. if you were reading this, what parts would you enjoy best? why are these parts so good? in contrast, what parts might not be as interesting? can you make these more interesting, or are they part of the story the way they are? if you read your story out loud, does it make sense? can you picture other characters doing this? why is your character doing the thing that they are doing — does it make sense?

6. lastly — have fun! write for yourself. i have chosen several dumb and silly headcanons that i don’t see enough in the fandom, so i write them so i can read them. i love all my silly headcanons. whenever i think to myself “oh, i wish i could read more of [specific thing],” i remember that hey, wait i second, i could write that right now if i wanted to! and then i do.

good luck! enjoy yourself! i can’t wait to see what you create :D

[sarasa-cat]

@sarahawke I needed to see this for myself and only skimmed this stochastic rando of """"fanfic""""but I won't really read it with awake eyes until tomorrow. At least it toned down all of that "eyes" business. Real thoughts in response to your question of what this even means tomorrow (post-coffee) but here is another one that sort of ... it is terrible fiction but I guess someone could use this as an outline or a prompt to write a real story with actual conflict (rising-and-falling), theme, etc. Like, back when anon dakinkmeme was running on LJ, it was not uncommon for people to write a PARAGRAPH LONG PROMPT that pretty much mini-outlined a story idea. Lots of great ideas too. My brain is too worn out from 12 hours nonstop BIG THINK working to really evaluate this beyond flat bad fic that is just meh.

Chat.openai.com attempts to write FendersFic

PROMPT: "Write fanfic of fenris and anders from dragon age II"

Anders and Fenris stood at opposite ends of the room, their eyes locked in a tense stare-down. The air was thick with tension, and the only sound was the soft crackle of the fire in the hearth.

"What are you doing here, Fenris?" Anders finally spoke, breaking the silence.

"I could ask you the same thing," Fenris replied, his voice low and gravelly.

"I'm here to help the mages," Anders said, his eyes blazing with conviction. "They're being treated like animals, and I won't stand for it."

Fenris snorted. "And you think that's a good reason to risk everything? To risk the lives of innocent people?"

"It's not just about the mages," Anders countered. "It's about freedom. It's about standing up to those who would oppress us."

Fenris shook his head. "You're a fool, Anders. You're putting your own selfish desires above the well-being of others."

Anders bristled at the accusation. "Selfish desires? I'm fighting for what's right!"

"You're fighting for yourself," Fenris said coldly. "You're using the mages as a way to justify your own twisted agenda."

Anders felt his anger rising. "You don't understand anything. You've never understood anything."

Fenris took a step forward, his eyes narrowing. "And what is it that I don't understand?"

"You don't understand what it's like to be oppressed," Anders said, his voice rising. "You don't understand what it's like to be hunted, to be treated like a monster. You don't understand anything."

Fenris's eyes flashed. "I understand more than you realize, mage. I understand what it's like to be enslaved, to have no control over your own life. I understand what it's like to be hunted by those who would kill you simply for existing."

Anders faltered, his anger suddenly drained away. "I...I didn't know."

Fenris's expression softened slightly. "You never do. You're so caught up in your own cause that you forget that there are others who are suffering just as much as you are."

Anders looked down at the floor, his shoulders slumped. "I'm sorry, Fenris. I didn't mean to...I didn't mean to dismiss your pain."

Fenris placed a hand on Anders's shoulder. "I know. But you need to remember that there are others who are fighting their own battles. And sometimes, we need to put aside our own struggles and help those who need it the most."

Anders nodded, his eyes downcast. "You're right. I'll try to remember that."

Fenris gave him a small smile. "Good. Now, let's go help those mages."