#and a definition on oversharing would be awesome too
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loafbud · 5 months ago
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yo loaf it's oversharing anon
just checkin in makin sure everythin's alright, heard you decided to keep celeste after all das cool. i hope the lil one isnt too much to handle.
saw you was doing artfight again this year and i remember my very first exposure to your art was your artfight stuff and i thought "well dang, this artsyle be hitting like capri suns at dawn in the skatepark. kickflips and everything its funky and cool"
it's been wild to see your art develop and i hope to see it keep going. even if i'm not really getting stuff like twisted wonderland i still really love how you draww and colour stuff and would definitely wanna learn to art like you,
anyways, hope artfight goes well and remember not to burnout!
oversharing anon out
hey oversharing anon, its been a while!! 👋👋👋
haha yeahh, Celeste cant help it since she’s only a kitten, so ive decided to just ride it out with this furball- im staying up all night and started watching a bunch of jackson galaxy videos and ive been taking screenshots & notes like CRAZYYY— i’ll have to make a ko-fi goal soon to be able to afford more stuff to catify our house, buy more remote/interactive toys, cat furniture/tree, etc….. also watched a video on clicker training & wanna get into that eventually!
being a cat owner, let alone being a rescue kitten owner, is all still a very new experience for me that i never wouldve expected to happen earlier this year- i remind myself that im still learning; i dont regret it one bit, even if the occassional “kitten blues” says otherwise haha 😂
awww thats so awesome!! ive actually had a few ppl that said that artfight was the first time they saw my art, or heard about me- and i think thats hella cool ;;
aggh seriously this all means a lot to hear! i hope to go at my full potential with my art one day- hopefully sooner rather than later !!!
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adultswim2021 · 10 months ago
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Squidbillies #50: "Not Without My Cash Cow!" | July 20, 2009 - 12:15AM | S04E10
Sometimes I think maybe I’m too hard on Squidbillies. When I point out that the show rarely makes me laugh it’s a true statement, but I don’t know if that makes me an effective arbiter of the show’s quality. I probably didn’t laugh out loud too much at the last Aqua Teen season, but I probably made less of a point to tell you this because I’m fonder of that show and those characters. If I’m being honest, the quality of these two shows this television season was probably fairly negligible. I would even go as far as to say that this was the best season of Squidbillies that I’ve seen, and I’m more fond of the show than I was last go round. 
In the conclusion of this two-parter: Durwood has taken Rusty from Early’s home. Early has seller's remorse, and is also promptly caught in a lie trying to disguise Lil as Rusty in order to keep his government child support checks from drying up. So, Early feigns that Rusty has been suspiciously kidnapped, causing Amber Alerts in the area. A media circus ensues which Early milks for all it’s worth.
Meanwhile, Durwood’s family home life isn’t all it’s cut out to be. His wife is addicted to wine and muscle relaxers. Durwood is revealed to be jobless, and we cut to him at a gay bar while pretending to go to work. His wife shares this fact with Rusty, also telling him that Durwood doesn’t know that she knows. It doesn’t stop with this overshare; she seduces Rusty, who gleefully fucks her. When Durwood comes home, she claims Rusty raped her. That’s when they simply stuff him into a sack and throw him back into Early’s yard.
I’ve been trained to be lightly wary of these types of take-downs of suburban/middle-class America, and this one doesn’t exactly reinvent the wheel. But it works well enough to pass the time for an eleven minute Adult Swim cartoon. It’s sorta fun to have one of your guys be a squid that’s walking upright in shoes, you know?? That dude straight-up unfurls and I gotta tell you, I was glad to see it. Not saying I loved this episode too much, but I liked it. Squidbillies: reasonably funny.
EPHEMERA CORNER: 
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San Diego Comic-Con (July 23-25, 2009) 
Here’s the post where I basically just list all the Adult Swim related-stuff that happened at or around comic-con in 2009. I recall going to this comic-con, but I don’t think I have a good enough of a memory to definitively say what I did and where. If I remember anything, I’ll write a thing. Also, I’ll link to videos if there are any. Also, this is apropos somewhat; I realized that I’m pretty sure I’ve failed to highlight other panels at different comic-cons, but the idea of cataloging all of them to any extent just seems exhausting. Collectors of Adult Swim ephemera should do due diligence and find all the other con shit themselves. I mostly just highlight San Diego because I’ve actually gone to that one myself a few times. Thanks. 
SDCC Panel: Robot Chicken w/ Titan Maximum (July 23, 2009 - 3:00PM) SDCC Panel: The Mighty Boosh (July 24, 2009 - 4:45PM)
I can’t imagine going to the Robot Chicken panel. I don’t think I went to the Mighty Boosh panel.
Tim and Eric Awesome Show Performance (July 24, 2009 - 7:00PM)
I think I went to the Tim & Eric show with Kon, who is famous for being my friend and sometimes writing into the blog. I recall having gone to a Tim & Eric show at an all-ages venue in San Francisco maybe a few months before this. The kids were actually pretty great, but the 21+ crowd were dickheads, who vaguely treated everyone and everything like it was just a big freak show. I remember watching some girl dance during all the songs and stealing focus. I despised her.
Mighty Boosh Bash (July 24, 2009 - 11:00PM)
I remember going to this, it was basically a short stage show with the Boosh Boys and it ended with a DJ set. I mingled for like 15 minutes and then left.
Tim and Eric Awesome-Con 2009 (July 25, 2009 - 12:00PM)
This happens in a park outside the convention center. I don’t remember what happened at which Awesome-Con. Could this be the Awesome-Con where I asked to take a picture with James Quall and he just made a noise that sounded like a big sigh and I took it as a yes while he stared off into the distance. It was a dark moment, man. 
SDCC Panel: Series Development and the Venture Bros. (July 25, 2009 - 6:00PM)
I think I sat through this, and I think this might’ve been the panel where I sat next to a really beautiful girl who was dressed like Lady Au Pair. Maybe. I don’t know, I probably said that about the last Venture Bros. panel. I might be hazy on the details, but I basically remember every hot girl who ever touched or almost touched me. 
Robot Chicken Fan Event (July 25, 2009 - 8:00PM)
In your dreams, dickbag
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yes-divine-ruler · 2 years ago
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Hi there 🖤 I just recently followed your blog and it's been an absolute delight, I love how much work you put into this community <3 Thank you, you're awesome!
I'm not sure if the ship requests are still open, but I'll just give it a try. If it's been too many already I absolutely get it c: here goes:
I'm a 26yo woman, long silver hair with bangs, greyish-blue eyes, pale, 5'6", I'm also an INFP. I'd describe my clothing style as gothy, dark and grungy (lot's of Killstar, Combat boots, comfy knitwear, plaits, long jackets/coats etc). My body type is slim, but very feminine. I'm a huge geek, I love movies and TV-Shows, gaming, cosplaying and daydreaming about it, it's my life fuel! I'm also very active, I work out regularly, love going for hikes especially in forests. I'm a highly creative and imaginative person and spend my days crafting, drawing, painting and sewing, I'm training to be a costume/stage designer for theater and film (I also love writing and used to study philosophy and literature for 3 years but didn't get a degree).
I'm an introvert and struggled with anxiety all my life. My alone time is very important, but my few very good friends mean the world to me and I cannot live without them. I'd say that I'm a good listener, tho I also talk and overshare a lot. I'm very much nonconfrontational and love to keep things calm and peaceful, but I got strong opinions and always speak my mind when I feel like I need to. My friendliness sometimes gets me into trouble bc it's so hard for me to be assertive and say no to things x_x I love people who make me feel safe and protected and encourage me to get out of my comfort zone <3
Man I hope this wasn't too long, I never know when to stop :'I if you read all this you're a real champ
(Begrudgingly ;) ) I ship you w/ Kai
I think the fact that you’re non confrontational can be a bit of a downfall to your relationship (because Kai may step all over you like a door mat) until you finally open up about the strong opinions you have and speak your mind. I think Kai would listen to you, because he’d really love you and respect you.
Kai is definitely someone to look out for someone who’s loyal to him, and will do everything in his power to reward you and make you feel safe.
He’s a gym guy, and I think a date for you guys could be going to the gym and going a work out (I’m thinking of my mini series now Lol BYE🤣).
He’d dig your style so much and I reckon he’d even let you match at times because he’s a slut for combat boots.
Kai’s definitely a geek too, so I think you’d share all those really niche things you enjoy together, and you wouldn’t feel weird or different for liking them.
And costume designer I mean COME ON you’re designated to mask designing for the cult (fuck off Ivy).
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ruhrohrichie · 2 years ago
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this definitely isn't me asking for any selfish reasons or anything at all, no no. but how do you feel about numbing gel, sexually? kink yay or nay (in the capacity you are comfortable sharing an answer, if at all.) [I am so good at asking questions wowee.]
haha aw I think you did a great job asking this question! and selfish reasons are welcome, even if this definitely wasn’t for those reasons ;)
so if I understand correctly, this means like, numbing certain parts for either orgasm delaying/denying or like objectification purposes? so blanket answer: kink yay lol into that
i got way too detailed with these answers heads up haha
can’t tell if you mean in fic or personally, probably fic but hey I’m in the mood to overshare on the internet haha so I’ll say fic stuff up here and put personal answers under a cut
so much fic potential, oh my god. honestly shit like a dom calling their sub a toy and like subs begging to be used, or multiple doms talking about their sub like they’re not there is sooo perfect so hot yes please (see: so many of my polyam losers hcs haha I love showering eddie in various forms of domination) so I’d be sooo into talking more about this (and objectification as a kink in general) in relation to any losers! (or some st characters if anyone has asks about them!). also, specifically for eddie subbing for all the losers, I think it would be really good for him to have numbing gel on his cute little cock so he doesn’t cum too soon or too many times before everyone’s had a turn! it’s only fair to everyone 😇 and eddie would want to make them all feel so good for as long as they want to use him 💗 (eddies the cutest toy everrr)
thank you so much for the ask and for fic the inspiration! I hadn’t heard of this before and I love being introduced to new stuff so this was an awesome ask to get
(getting personal now, last warning lol): personally, while domming, I think this would be so fucking cute. you just get to use and use your little sub and watch them feel so good but so frustrated because they can’t quite get off, and I thinks that’s adorable! and also a bonus: getting to use them longer! who knows how long you could make it go on for you know? so fucking cute 💘
as for while subbing: also super fucking hot, the idea of only being allowed to get off from penetration… or your pleasure not even being a consideration and you’re really just a toy to get your dom off…….into itttt haha
…perhaps I’ll write a fic about this some day
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selamat-linting · 1 year ago
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randomly thinking about my highschool friends again. the libertarian dude who think he could rule the world by conquering singapore and implenting 100% privatization... i talk about him before... my friend who is successful in romance and school and even entrepreneurship at a young age but she had severe neglected eldest daughter complex so she used to fake throwing up blood to get attention from her situationship... and ofc that theater kid.
he was one of the few person who is always nice to me even at my worst. he was just... very likable and funny. he love randomly asking people to discuss heavy and confusing shit like religion and philosophy and debate them. me and R had a lot of fun (and headaches) as his amateur couples' counseling service back in the day. he is passionate for his interests despite not thinking its a viable way to make money (try being a legit actor when youre visibly disabled, its impossible)
anyway, but most of all, he was silly. he broke his laptop twice because he tried to do a cartwheel on the table. he did all these ridiculous dances and always made me laugh. he made silly songs with the rest of the class. and good god, was he a wonderful writer. i think it was mostly the fact that we're all highschool kids stuck in the same trenches, but he understand how much we need catharsis. so in every single play he wrote, there will always be a scene where someone (most of the time himself) loses their shit and screams so FUCKING loud you can hear it from two classes over. it was awesome. i would be lying if i say i didnt love him a little. he's still active in the local theatre and i'd still watch it when i have time off work.
but the problem is, he is the exact definition of "men fighting demons and the demon is bisexuality". The guy grabbed his friend's tits and crotch too often for it to be normal. he literally confessed seeing dicks in porn turns him on, UNPROMPTED. nobody asked but he said it anyways. at the time of this writing, he still calls himself straight. he was an oversharer but he doesnt have any self awareness despite talking about his entire medical history to us. i cant believe that i knew his girlfriend demanded him to marry her since he took his virginity, when we just met after two years of not meeting each other!!!! and then he asked everyone to help him, only to refuse the suggestion of the entire class. he's a self described "fuck boy". he's horrible™. he said he peaked in highschool. i will never date him, im not fixing him, but whatever's going on with his love life and sexuality is 24/7 cringe comedy.
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not-poignant · 5 years ago
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How come the people in your fics always respond so well to oversharing? Most people, faced with the kind of issues Mosk and Augus faced, would run screaming in the opposite direction. Eran, Augus, Julvia, Ondine, etc nearly always know the right thing to say. Not every time maybe, but most of the time. And they don't get irritated at other people for being ill or depressed or whatever, like people do irl. None of them every say to someone else they can't be a stranger's therapist, for instance.
Contd: I mean, don't get me wrong, I love your writing and I love all the deep heart to heart convos everyone seems to have with everyone else, I just couldn't help wishing- say, A is rejected and abandoned by B, all of B's friends agree A is too weird and clingy and B isn't made out to be some sort of villain. Neither A nor B are villains. Like that. Sorry I'm not more articulate, I guess you can see why I never tried to put this in my own fics lol             
*
Hi anon!
I mean, the most basic answer to all of this is because it’s fiction, not reality, and I’m writing a romance, not a story about A and B parting ways because they’re fundamentally incompatible (which sounds a bit like what you’re describing, tbh). It sounds like you’re describing a different genre. I’m trying to think of incidences where this happens (and only ever as set ups to the ‘proper romance’ between say A and C) on screen in the hundreds of romances I’ve read, and I can’t think of a single incidence. Doesn’t mean they’re not out there, but...that’s not a romance trope.
Probably the only time I can think of it happening is in a Roan Parrish book, Rend. But the characters stay together, so it doesn’t meet your criteria of one character rejecting and abandoning another, in the book, the rejection is extremely temporary, it’s not abandonment. If you mean a scenario where the characters stay together, then I’m extra confused, because I don’t believe I villainise any of my main characters for mistakes they’re making in a relationship. Maybe some examples might help?
A more complex answer would need to look at your points a bit more individually.
* There are no therapists in the Fae realm. So how can anyone recommend one, except maybe Ash? (And, it hasn’t actually done him a great amount of good outside of how he deals with Gwyn). For the most part, older fae are of the opinion that authentic sharing is important, and often make space for it. It’s a kind of storytelling. Literally one of the fundamental unspoken tenets in Fae Tales is ‘better out than in’ particularly if tempered with compassion
* Your definition of oversharing is wildly different to mine, I think! Do you just mean ‘people who talk honestly about their feelings even when those feelings are ugly?’ Or ‘people who talk about difficult things in their past?’ To me, neither of those is oversharing. It would be oversharing if one went up to a total stranger during their dinner at a restaurant and started telling their life story or talking about their depression. None of my main characters do that. (Davix probably would though).
* I have written stories where one character cannot listen to another character’s self-hatred and suggests a therapist instead, in a world where therapists are canonically available (The Wind that Cuts the Night, Elliott makes it a pretty firm boundary). To a degree, Bull also threatens to walk away from Cullen more than once when he becomes too antagonistic and self-destructive in Stuck on the Puzzle.
* Which of my characters overshares by your definition? I feel like I’m missing something (which is possible, there’s millions of words to think of). But Gwyn is chronically private to the point where he often needs to be tortured to talk about himself. Augus is also private. Eran shares his feelings pretty openly, but in a way that is pretty self-responsible (with the exception of the first half of book 1, which he learns/grows from).
Mosk has been incredibly private re: details of his family and his torture (to the point where we’re heading towards the end of book 2 and Mosk still hasn’t described anything he went through with Davix/Olphix unless he’s pushed to, and he hardly talks about his family unless Eran prompts him), though he’ll be open about his hatred and emotions, and Eran has started putting down boundaries around that when Mosk gets cruel/mean about it. I honestly feel that, more than anything, I actually write characters who are chronic undersharers, it’s one of the reasons they’re so messed up in the first place. So I feel like we’re working off really different definitions there?
* Re: People not being irritated at others for being depressed or ill like in real life, yeah, selfishly I’ll just straight up admit this is because I’m a physically ill/mentally ill person irl who gets really tired of the stigma, ignorance and cruelty of people when it comes to these subjects. In fiction, I don’t have to indulge a broken world (in the same way that I don’t have to indulge homophobia if I don’t want to), it’s allowed to be what I want it to be. But also, all of my main characters have been through incredible depression, many to the point of considering suicide or certainly self-destruction, so they’re singularly well equipped to understand when another character is going through it.
Tbh, if romance suddenly became about what you’re describing re: A and B, I’d probably stop reading it (or at least not read it as much). What people need from what they’re reading/writing is highly individualistic and variable! It sounds like you need something you’re not getting, but what you’re describing is not something I need in my fiction to such an explicit degree, esp. since I think I’m not getting some of your context here - you think my characters overshare, I think they undershare for ex. - a character genuinely sharing their emotional state is so unusual that it’s often a massive and significant plot event when they finally do it, all of Fae Tales is built around the few times characters actually genuinely cathart their emotional states and the reasons around them, whether it’s Gwyn revealing he’s Unseelie, or Augus finally being forced to talk about what the Raven Prince did to him, or Mosk finally being cornered into sharing the fact that he killed Davix etc.
If you need to write a character where one of your characters abandons another character and they part ways and no one makes either out to be a villain, you can! But that’s not a romance. 
In reality, people are incompatible all the time and walk away from friendships, colleagues, relationships and more because of it. It is a fact of life that you will lose far more friends than you will ever make, because of these rejections, abandonments and incompatibilities. It doesn’t make either person the villain. I’ve known plenty of people I’m no longer friends with or partners with, and we’re just...incompatible people. But you’re not likely to see these storylines in romances, because what that describes isn’t compatible with the romance genre, which is about happy endings / hopeful endings between A and B, and not rejection/abandonment.
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tiktaalic · 4 years ago
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Why exactly do you see Dean as gay rather than bi? Absolutely feel free to completely ignore this ask if you don't want to go into it - it's just I've heard that interpretation a few times here on Tumblr and I'd genuinely be really interested to hear your thoughts behind it, and how you relate it to the way Dean canonically acts on the show
the pithy answer is projection! the unpithy answer is that out of 320 episodes over the span of 15 years, there is one (1) where his attraction comes off as genuine to me, and it took place fifteen years ago (cassie). i’m a lesbian, and when i was younger i had really genuine and meaningful friendships with men that i thought meant i was in love with them. they were very dear friends to me and i cared deeply about them, and they continue to be dear to me and people i care deeply about now that my head’s on straighter. so that’s that point. 
this is. going to be a long post so this is the preemptive warning to everyone who can’t read tumblr paragraphs to zip scroll.
lisa straight up reads as a lavender marriage to me. the focus for both lisa AND dean is him stepping in to be a father figure. their conversations about how much they care about each other center around how good he is with ben/how much he loves ben. there’s like, nothing where they’re smiling at each other and actually enjoying each other’s company. she’s a two night stand he’s seen 4 times in the last decade. she is dean putting on his brave face and keeping his promise. lisa’s post dean boyfriend matt is in one episode for about 3 minutes purely so he can die, but this is the scene.
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so like. lisa is CAPABLE of interacting with a man she’s dating in a way that looks like they’re dating, versus. this.
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so that’s that point. we’re at season six and we’ve already gone through every long term relationship with a woman dean’s been in. but let’s get really technical! let’s go through bad boys and after school special and amara to boot. 
in bad boys, robin is dean’s first real crush when he’s fifteen or so. first crush being when you’re 15 rather than in elementary or middle school? gay behavior (joke). let those among us who have not had a straight crush as a teen because they were the first person to be nice to us throw the first stone! and that’s what it boils down to for me. it’s the first time dean’s had ANY stability, and he relishes it. it would not surprise me if she’s his first real friend. she’s definitely his first real NORMAL friend. she asks him what HE likes, what HE wants to do with his life. and that’s totally new for dean! to have choices and to have his wants given consideration instead of just having expectation after expectation loaded onto him.
it does not surprise me that dean, who’s been taking a masterclass in repression and masculinity since the tender age of four, dates robin. it would not surprise me if he dated robin and was gay. of course he’s going to throw himself 100% into a relationship with a girl when he knows he’s at an age where boys are supposed to be skirt chasers, when he meets a girl and she’s NICE to him and KNOWS him like literally no one else does. all of this accompanied by the “i am a boy and have positive feelings for someone who’s a girl this MUST be romance this MUST be a crush” like. this is going to get into overshare territory for a moment i apologize but As A Lesbian when i was 15/16 i actively had crushes on girls and rational-ed them away as Girl Best Friends :) while telling everyone that the feelings i had for my boy best friends were crushes aksdkfkndf. repressed gay people are stupid and dean is MUCH more repressed than me aged 16. so. robin box ticked. 
after school special: jail for dabb jail for dabb for a thousand years i know. trust me i know. BUT. 17 year old dean who’s fully pulled on the leather jacket and womanizer persona, who doesn’t talk to anyone in his class and just hangs out in janitor closets making out with a girl who thinks his persona is hot. and when she tries to get close to him, to form an emotional connection, he panics and self sabotages. which. yes. peak straight man behavior. i’m not arguing that this little characterization bit is the pillar upon which gay dean rests, i’m saying if you’re inclined, you can nudge it into gay kid going “oh no this is too much responsibility i gotta get out of this” behavior. and i’m inclined!
amara: the amara stuff is so. hdnfdkf. it’s this primordial connection or whatever stronger than dean and amara both and yet dean’s still able to buck it a few times for [drumroll........] cas! + i don’t have any of the posts on hand but i DO agree with the whole vibe of. “i would fuck the embodiment of my destruction and horrors and failings because my self loathing is THAT strong”. also: gay af for the being of destruction with an immutable pull on you and towards you to say i will give you your greatest desire and then give you your mommy back and dip.
and then there’s the various one night stand stuff. i don’t have the comprehensive list on hand, but off the top of my head these are times when dean has sex scenes that are given huge focus:
when he comes back from hell and everyone’s gently asking if he’s fine and he’s like could a guy who wasn’t fine do THIS [tries to sleep with a bartender and or angel]. when bobby dies and dean’s hardcore mourning and hardcore drinking to the point where i think his drinking is acknowledged for one of a true handful of times in the series. just checked the transcript for that one. the morning after:
DEAN: Ugh.
SAM: You look like crap.
DEAN: Yeah, well, I feel worse than I look. I do recommend the Cobalt Room, by the way. Awesome night. Although I think I'm getting too old for this.
which. again. normal straight man commitmentphobe hitting his 30s and going hmmm.... perhaps real connections would be nice? but that doesn’t contradict gay dean at all, it slots in. also this is season 7. season 7 and he’s too old for this. top of my head i can think of two more similar instances: s11 baby when he groans and goes “mistakes were made”, s13 advanced thanatology when cas is dead and he’s FULL ON grieving so hard that sam takes him to a strip club. and again. he over does it. again he throws himself too hard to the coping vices and when he wakes up he’s tired and sore and has a headache. the other time he gets laid is endverse, which uh. is basically dean in 24/7 mourn drink sleep with someone mode. there are like... a handful of times he has sex For Fun, enough to count on one hand. the rest are all real easy to slap the label PERFORMANCE or COPING WITH MOURNING on.
obviously all of these points go either way - you could absolutely interpret them as legit attraction to women. you can interpret them as legit attraction to women while these instances are still coping/performance. but for me personally they all end up on the gay column instead of the bi column. um. end manifesto i think.
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hookedonapirate · 4 years ago
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The Dirty Text Challenge
Summary: “I told you, Emma, you should try it!” Mary Margaret screeches through the phone.
Emma pulls the device away from her ear, lest she go half-deaf by the sheer volume of her sister-in-law’s voice. “And I told you, I’m not doing that,” she protests, leaning back against the wall of the corridor outside the restrooms.
“Why not? You’ll be able to see how interested he is without having to tell him how you feel to his face.”
“But what if he's not?”
“Oh Emma, do you really not know your best friend? He’s interested, trust me!”
“Has he said anything to you or David?”
“Of course not. But that doesn’t mean he’s not interested in you. It just means he’s not interested in getting clocked in the face by your brother.”
Notes: This is a birthday gift for my good friend, @onceuponaprincessworld. Thank you for always being supportive and encouraging and, well, for putting up with me :) Hope you have an awesome day, love!
Inspired by the Dirty Text Challenge on Tik Tok that was trending awhile back, where you send a dirty text to your significant other and record his reaction when he reads it. There was one video in particular that made me want to write this for CS, and it was by realkayjane. She posted a video of her best friend reading a text she sent him in a bar, and then they started dating. It very well could've been staged, or maybe not, I honestly don't know. Nevertheless, I wanted to write it, so here it is. And if you're interested to see what the text says, no worries, I've included a flashback at the end ;)
Thank you @ultraluckycatnd for being so kind and for looking it over at the last minute!
Rated: Explicit
Also Available on: AO3 FF.N
Killian’s phone vibrates from his pants pocket for the second time since he’s been at The Rabbit Hole that evening, but he continues to ignore it. What could possibly be more important than hanging out with his best friend at their favorite bar anyhow?
“Aren’t you gonna answer that?”
“It can wait,” Killian says, waving off her question and taking a swig of his rum. 
“It might be important.”
Killian glances up at her from over the rim of his tumbler.
More important than being with you? 
Unlikely.
His phone vibrates once more, but he still doesn’t move to retrieve it.
She cocks her brow, giving that castigating look. A look that tells him he should answer his phone. 
So he sighs and reluctantly digs it out, seeing three text messages from the same person. 
Unknown: Hey Killian. It’s Tina. David gave me your number. I hope you don’t mind.
He groans.
Yes, I do mind. Bloody hell, Dave, why did you have to give her my number?
Unknown: Are you free tonight?
Definitely not.
Unknown: You can come over if you want.
He’s never even been on a single date with Tina. 
Killian thinks about how he will politely decline.
“Who is it? If it’s David, I swear, he better either be in jail or the hospital if he’s interrupting our evening.”
Killian’s cheeks heat with blush, and he has to suppress the smile threatening his lips.
She said our evening .
Killian scratches behind his ear, reluctant to tell her the texts are from some woman David’s trying to set him up with. “Uh, it’s… it’s no one.” 
Emma grins, clearly not buying it. “Doesn’t seem like no one. You’re blushing.”
Not for the reasons you probably think.
He chuckles nervously. “Truly, it’s no one important.”
Emma cocks her head to the side. 
Damn her for knowing him so well. For being able to tell when someone is lying to her. Tina is really no one important to him—he barely knows her, if at all. He spoke to her one time, and that was when David introduced her to him. They chatted for all of ten seconds. So he’s not exactly lying to Emma. But she thinks he’s blushing over the person sending him the texts. She doesn't know she is the one he is blushing over.
He's about to slip his phone into his pocket, but before he can, Emma grabs his arm with one hand and steals the device with her other one. She's so quick and smooth, he doesn’t have time to stop her.
Killian gulps as she checks his phone.
Her eyes light up with amusement when she sees the messages from Tina and reads them out loud. Then she looks up at him, raising her brow. “Why didn’t you tell me you had a girlfriend?”
Killian reaches over the table and plucks the phone from her hands with a heavy sigh. “She’s not my girlfriend. Your brother is trying to set me up with her.”
She picks up her strawberry daiquiri, knitting her brows in confusion. “Sounds like you’ve already hooked up with her.” She brings the glass to her lips, taking a sip as he watches her intently.
“We haven't even been on one date.”
She nods, lowering her drink as she swallows. “So, are you going over to her place?”
He wishes he could read minds right now because he can’t tell if she’s asking about Tina because she’s just curious or if she's asking because she’s jealous. 
Definitely the first option, he thinks.
He shakes his head. “Of course not.” A small smile plays at his lips. “Why would I go to her place when I’m already with my favorite person in the entire world?”
Emma’s cheeks paint with blush as she sets her drink down and crosses her arms on the tabletop. “Because obviously you’d be getting laid.”
“Well, you know me, Emma. I’m too much of a gentleman to just go over to a woman’s home who I barely know and get my rocks off.”
She smirks and teases him playfully. “I know. So are you at least going to ask her on a date?”
He stares at Emma for a moment, trying to figure out how to properly answer her question without baring his soul to her. So he settles on a flat-out lie. “I haven’t decided yet.”
He hates this. 
He hates not being able to tell his best friend he’s madly in love with her.
And he’d nearly blurted it out over an intense game of Mario Kart a few days ago. 
“Fuck me!” Emma whines after losing another round against him and nearly throwing the controller across the room (she probably would have if David hadn’t plucked it from her hands).
Killian is busy trying to recover from her expletives and how her words had shot straight through him. He knows he should just keep his mouth shut, because, for one... her brother is in the room and two… well, he would very much like to take her up on that offer. No actually, he doesn’t want that, and that’s the problem. He wants so much more than that. He’s had so many fantasies about being with Emma, but they all involve things like taking her out on a proper date, holding her hand, kissing her, making love to her. So no, he doesn’t want to fuck her. He wants a future with her, one which involves being more than her best friend. Gods, he wants so much more than that. But he’s not willing to give up any less than what he already has. So, instead of revealing his true feelings, he covers them up with a playful quip. “Is that an invitation, love?”
The look she gives him makes his heartbeat quicken, one corner of her lips curving up into a shy smirk, her cheeks reddening as he feels David’s stare burning into him.
“Why? You offering?” she retorts.
Killian stares at his best friend in shock, his mouth slightly agape. “Maybe I a — ” 
Before he can finish his reply, David threatens him with a deadly glare and cuts him off. “No, it’s not an invitation and no, he’s not offering,” he answers for both of them.
And that is one of the other reasons why Killian hasn’t had the guts to tell Emma how he really feels. Okay, it’s the main reason. Because not only could it destroy his friendship with her, but also his friendship with her brother. 
Emma scowls at David and snatches the controller from his hands. “Who died and made you king?”
David mimics her in a whiny voice and Emma retaliates by shoving him in the arm. 
“Ow!” He rubs the spot where she'd hit him, and sticks his tongue out at her. “Brat.”
She does it back. “Dork.”
Killian chuckles . He's always thouroughly entertained by their little sibling squabbles. 
“One more game, Jones?” Emma asks him.
And that was that. They played another round, which she won, and neither of them spoke of the words exchanged that night.
Which makes tonight pretty awkward, considering it’s the first time Killian’s actually been alone with Emma since then. Well, if you consider sitting together in a booth at a crowded bar, alone. So to dial down the awkward tension between them, Killian keeps the drinks coming so the alcohol will ease the nerves in his stomach. 
But the problem with alcohol is the effects it has.
The first one is giggliness.
Emma is adorable when she’s sober, but when she’s drunk, she is extra adorable. She can’t say three words in a row without giggling. 
That effect, mixed with the second one, is bound to lead to things he’s not sure he’s prepared for. Especially not while they’re drunk.
Oversharing.
Not that they don’t already know everything there is to know about each other, but when he’s trying to keep his biggest secret from his best friend… well, that presents quite the problem when he’s drunk. At least he still has enough presence of mind to know how much to overshare. 
“Must be nice to have women throwing themselves at you, Jones. I swear, if it wasn’t for my vibrator, I’d probably have cobwebs!” she exclaims over the noisy bar chatter. 
Killian shudders at the images her confession is supplying him with. He’s certainly not imagining her using said vibrator. And he’s fairly certain she wouldn’t have to worry about cobwebs if she didn’t have a vibrator. Emma could have any man she wanted. He’s one of them. “I’m definitely not getting laid as often as you make it sound,” he retorts with a chuckle. “Or as much as I’d like to.”
“Please!” she snorts. “You could have your cock licked by every woman at this bar with a snap of your fingers if you wanted to.”
Testing her theory, he snaps his fingers and looks around. “Where are they, love?” Not that he has any interest to get his cock licked by anyone at this bar. Or anyone, really. Anyone except the gorgeous blonde sitting across from him with the most beautiful emerald green eyes he’s ever seen and a smile that sets his heart on fire as she bursts out laughing.
“You’re ridiculous.”
“I’m just being honest,” he says before draining the last of his rum.
She taps her empty glass with her nails. “One more round?”
He nods and raises his hand to summon the server.
“But first, I have to pee. My bladder is about to burst.” She rises from the booth, and he follows her with his eyes as she makes her way to the restrooms. 
~*~
Emma’s a bit lightheaded as she leaves the ladies' room, but not nearly as much as she’s led on. She was hoping to drop hints to Killian without repelling him. But she’s afraid she’s completely failing. How does one exactly go about telling her best friend of five years she’s completely in love with him? 
She has no fucking clue.
“I told you, Emma, you should try it!” Mary Margaret screeches through the phone. 
Emma pulls the device away from her ear, lest she go half-deaf by the sheer volume of her sister-in-law’s voice. “And I told you, I’m not doing that,” she protests, leaning back against the wall of the corridor outside the restrooms.
“Why not? You’ll be able to see how interested he is without having to tell him how you feel to his face.”
“But what if he's not?”
“Oh Emma, do you really not know your best friend? He’s interested, trust me!”
“Has he said anything to you or David?”
“Of course not. But that doesn’t mean he’s not interested in you. It just means he’s not interested in getting clocked in the face by your brother.”
“And if you’re wrong? Then what?”
Mary Margaret sighs. “If I’m wrong—which I’m definitely not—then you can just tell him you meant to send the text to someone else.”
“But who? I just told him I have an exclusive relationship with my vibrator.”
“Then maybe one of your past flings? I don’t know, Emma, you’ll come up with something. But I’m like one hundred and ten percent sure you won’t have to.”
Emma sighs in exasperation and defeat. “Fine, but if this ends badly, I’m only blaming you.”
She can almost hear her sister-in-law’s grin from the other line, even though she can’t see her. “Fine. If I’m wrong, I'll take full responsibility. In fact, if I’m wrong, I’ll buy you grilled cheese sandwiches every day for an entire year.”
Hmmm, that does sound appealing.“With onion rings?”
“I’ll buy you the whole freaking menu at Granny’s if you want.”
“Okay,” Emma laughs. “And if you’re right, what do you want?”
“If I’m right, I will already have everything I could possibly want.”
“And what’s that?”
“Well, besides your brother, obviously, the knowledge that you and Killian will live happily ever after, of course.” 
Emma’s heart warms at her sister-in-law’s sentiment. If only love could be that simple. Just offer her heart to Killian and receive his in return. But this isn’t some fairytale or romance novel where the heroine rides off into the sunset with her handsome hero. This is real life. “Okay.” Suddenly the idea of what she’s about to do makes her heart flitter in panic. “So I’m actually doing this?”
“You’re doing this. And you won’t regret it. Now put on your big girl pants and go get your man.”
After they end the call, Emma lowers the phone from her ear and with shaky hands, pulls up her text conversations with Killian. She sucks in a deep breath and releases it slowly, her breath wobbly. Gnawing on her bottom lip, she types a text with shaky fingers, erases it, retypes it and repeats that cycle three more times before she’s satisfied with the message. At first, she didn’t want to send anything to Killian that she wouldn’t be able to defend and say it was meant for someone else. But then she thought, screw it. She can blame it on the alcohol. 
For years, she’s been wanting to tell her best friend how she really feels about him, and when she finally scrounged up the courage to tell Mary Margaret, her sister-in-law suggested this hair-brained scheme she came up with after watching these trending Tik Tok videos of women sending their boyfriends or husbands dirty texts in public and recording their reactions. Since Killian isn’t her boyfriend or husband, Mary Margaret thought it would be a great idea to find out whether he likes her or not. Or rather, prove to a stubborn Emma he’s secretly in love with her.
Well, she’s about to find out. Here goes nothing...
She peers around the corner of the hallway entrance and does a quick check to make sure he didn't leave and go into the men's room or something. When she spots him across the room, still sitting at their booth, she sends off the text. Then she quickly pulls up the camera on her phone and starts recording, her heart pounding. It’s pounding so loud she can hear it in her ears over the loud music and boisterous bar chatter.
His phone lights up on the table and he sets down his tumbler to pick up the device.
Emma watches him with bated breath, hoping and praying this wasn’t a mistake. Hoping his reaction won’t be the same reaction he had when he received those texts from Tina. Emma had done her best to hide her emotions when she saw that skank’s text messages. She had to swallow her words and shove down her jealousy, but when she remembered that look of irritation written all over Killian’s face as he read those texts, she realized why he was irritated. Needless to say, she was relieved beyond belief. 
Through her phone, Emma watches as Killian’s mouth falls open, his eyes big and wide as he stares at his screen.
Emma has no idea what he’s thinking right now, but she really wishes she did. Is he happy, excited, turned on? Or is he pissed off, disappointed, disgusted? She’s usually pretty good at reading her best friend, but right now it’s like trying to read a blank page.
He lifts his head and looks toward the restrooms, so she quickly retreats inside the hallway, keeping her phone in place so it’s still recording him. She presses her back against the wall, as though the opposite wall is closing in on her, and she’s trying to draw in as much air into her lungs before she’s suffocated to death. 
Shit, shit, shit. 
What if Mary Margaret’s plan didn’t work? What if Emma scared him away?
Cautiously and carefully, she turns her head and looks around the corner again.
To her utter horror, Killian is not in the booth.
Fuck, fuck, fuck! Why did she send him the text?
In panic mode, Emma brings her hand back and stops recording as she flattens against the wall again and contemplates shooting Killian another text saying she sent the text by mistake. 
She starts typing out a message.
Emma: Sorry, that text was for someone else. Ooops, my bad.
But then she sees the text she'd sent and realizes she made it impossible to say it wasn’t meant for him because of what the text said.
Nope, she definitely can’t talk her way out of that one.
Before she can erase the message and type out how sorry she is, her phone is being slipped from her hands.
She’s about to lose her shit when she looks up and gasps as her eyes meet vivid blue ones.��
Killian’s looking at her with a hungry—no, primal—stare.
And just like that, all of her oncoming anger melts away.
Emma can’t move. She can’t speak, she can’t even breathe. This man has impaired her ability to do anything other than stare back at him, waiting for him to speak. Her stomach is clenching and her heart is racing under the heaviness of his stare.
She doesn’t even give two flying fucks when he slips her phone into his pocket.
Finally, after what feels like an eternity, he leans into her space and murmurs in her ear. “You said I could have any woman in the bar licking my cock at a snap of my fingers...” His voice is decadent and drops an octave when he speaks again. “What if I told you, you could have one man licking your pussy at the snap of yours?”
She gulps hard and just stares at him in shock. He’s joking, right? But she’s known him for five years and can’t detect a single trace of mocking in his words. 
Without breaking her challenging stare, she lifts her hand. 
And snaps her fingers.
Without hesitation or any preconceived thought, Killian takes her hand in his and leads her into the ladies' room, locking the door behind them. He backs her against the sink and draws her into his arms, a wave of desire so profound sweeping through her, it leaves her trembling in his muscular arms, clinging to his body like a lifeline. When he lifts her up and sets her on the edge of the sink, their mouths find each other, their lips moving with a need that burns like a fire inside them both. She slides her arms around his neck, her lips fused to his, her tongue swirling and exploring his mouth as her breasts are pressed deliciously against his chest. 
Killian holds her flush against him, his tongue mingling with hers in a sensual ballet of lips and flesh that leaves them both panting. She moans softly into his mouth as he rubs at her back, squeezing one of her ass cheeks in his free hand. 
She can’t believe she’s actually kissing Killian. Her best friend. And he is every bit the kisser she knew he would be. His tongue flicks against hers so expertly and he’s groaning, his guttural sounds vibrating through her, shivers running down her spine, her skin tingling all over. Her stomach is coiled in anticipation at the thought of that same tongue on her pussy.
Oh God.
She needs that tongue on her like she needs air to breathe. As much alcohol as she’s had, the only thing fogging her mind is the lust and pleasure coursing through her veins. She’s now drunk on something else entirely. And it’s on the man who is currently breaking the kiss and leaving her a panting, breathless mess as he slides his lips over her jawline and down her neck, the scruff on his chin scratching her so deliciously. 
As she’s still trying to recover from that kiss—as if she could—she’s so glad she wore a dress tonight. As he leaves a trail of kisses along her collarbone, he pulls the straps down her arms, yanks down the top of her dress and pushes her black, lacy bra cups out of the way, exposing her breasts. As he’s admiring her naked breasts in wonderment, as he's squeezing them in his firm hands, making her nipples harden, she's admiring him and blushing profusely.
Fuck.
When he caresses a hard bud with his lips, Emma moans, and when he draws the same nipple into his mouth, she runs her hands through his hair, enjoying how soft and warm his mouth is against her sensitive skin, a breath exploding between her lips. He kisses his way to her other breast, giving the same treatment. She can feel how hard he is through his jeans, and it’s making her so much wetter than she already was. To her relief, he’s grabbing her dress and hauling it up her legs, seeking access she’s definitely willing to grant him. She helps him move the hem of her dress to her stomach, exposing her black, lacy thong. He leaves bruising kisses on her lower belly and inner thighs as he slides her panties off. 
When he’s on his knees and his gorgeous face is between her thighs, he looks up at her, those intense blue eyes stealing her breath as he gently slides his lips up her leg, giving her time to push him away if she desired. A completely unnecessary precaution. 
She leans back, gripping the edge of the sink as she drapes one leg over his shoulder and pushes him to her.
The soft, warm air of his chuckles hits her glistening folds and sends a shiver up her spine. “Patience, love.” He presses gentle kisses to her nub, her folds, and noses her slit, breathing in slowly, taking in her unique scent. Emma’s incapable of being patient, though; she can almost feel his tongue on her as he wraps his arms around her, urging her to lean back a little more so he has full access to her. 
Finally, his tongue hits her flesh, taking a thorough exploration between her folds until he finds exactly what he’s searching for. She dips her head back, hitting the back of it against the mirror, her hands clutching at the top of his head for purchase. Her eyelids fall shut, soft moans pouring from her mouth as his tongue works so skillfully on her bundle of nerves. She opens her eyes so she can watch him as he licks her good and hard, and she lifts one of her legs to the edge of the counter so she’s spread out like a feast before him. She tugs gently on his hair, urging him closer and she can tell he doesn’t mind, because he's growling and puckering his lips, drawing her clit into his soft, warm mouth, making her tremble. It’s the most erotic thing she’s ever witnessed, and she’s wondering who’s enjoying this more, him or her. 
When he glances up, his eyes are boring into hers, and she can feel him smiling against her folds when he sees how wrecked she is with her best friend’s tongue between her legs. Those sparkling blue eyes are piercing through her soul and she can’t find the strength to tear her gaze from his. It’s so fucking hot watching him eating her out. Watching him take his sweet time bringing her close to the very edge before pulling away and then bringing her back. It’s like watching the waves of the ocean moving in and lapping the shoreline before ebbing away. His tongue lapping her up and then withdrawing. In and out, in and out, over and over, increasing in intensity and speed each time, until she’s a complete mess, until she’s arching her back and fisting tufts of his hair and tugging him closer, begging for him to finish her off.
“Killian… please…” she moans breathlessly, helpless against the mirror and completely at his mercy.
The alcohol certainly doesn’t help; it had made her incredibly more horny. Meaning every inch of her is more sensitive. So, Killian suckling on her clit and lapping her up as if his life depends on it is bound to push her over the edge and make her crumble into a million pieces very soon.
And he does so effortlessly.
God, he does.
“Killian!” Emma screams, hoping the loud music and chatter of the bar are drowning out her sounds of ecstasy as she falls apart. She falls so hard, she’s thankful Killian’s hands are gripping her thighs, holding her in place, because otherwise she’d be on the floor right now. Literally.
When she comes back to reality, her body is still twitching. Killian is pressing soft, wet kisses to her nub and each of her thighs, and there’s fire in his eyes as he rises and sucks her essence off his fingers. 
She can taste herself on his lips when he kisses her. And she melts again, arousal shooting through her once more. But as airy as she feels, she somehow musters the strength to push him back, fumble for his belt, tug down his pants and sink to her knees.
Holy hell.
His cock is glorious.
Thick and throbbing, pointing at her, almost beckoning her forward. 
“Snap your fingers,” she says, smirking up at him. 
He manages a grin and doesn’t argue. 
When he snaps his fingers, she wraps her hand around his stiff length and strokes him slowly, a deep, soft moan escaping her lips. He feels fucking amazing in her hand. 
He draws in a sharp breath when she kisses his velvety tip. Then she leans in and licks up his entire length, making him gasp. 
“Good… Gods… Emma.”
His thick shaft is glistening with her saliva, and Killian bites his lower lip as he looks at her, trying to hold back the urge to lose himself too soon. She smiles, encouraged by his palpable excitement, and wraps her wet lips around his cock. The tip of him slides easily into her mouth, and she sucks on him greedily, bobbing her head a few times before removing her hand, grabbing his hips and taking him in deeper. Killian lets out a deep, guttural groan, reaching down to cup her cheeks in his hands. Emma hums gently around him while allowing his cock to slide back and forth past her lips, not enough to escape her mouth, but enough to build up some friction. 
“Fu-uck! That feels incredible, love…” he groans, his voice completely wrecked.
The sounds of his breathing grow louder with each passing minute. Her arousal builds inside her again while she takes him deep, letting his belled tip almost slip free from her mouth before taking him in again. She can’t refrain from smiling around his cock, knowing she’s subjecting him to the same torture he put her through. 
Emma massages his balls in her fingers and increases her speed, taking him into her mouth deeper and faster and harder. Killian’s hands are threading through her hair and he’s groaning loudly, thrusting his hips, seeking release. And she’s finally ready to give it to him. She moans around him and takes his perfect buttcheek in her free hand, taking him roughly, letting him fuck her mouth until his hot seed is spurting down her throat and he’s gripping her hair tightly and his legs are shaking.
“Gods, Emma… that was…”
The knock on the bathroom door pulls them both back to reality. Emma quickly swallows his cum down her throat and licks her lips as she rises. They reassemble themselves quicker than they would’ve preferred. They right their clothes, tame their hair and walk out of the restroom like everything’s perfectly normal, ignoring the looks they’re getting from the female patron who’s outside the door waiting to use the restroom. 
Killian and Emma are laughing as he pays their tab and they’re still giggling as they stumble out of the bar.
They take an uber to Killian’s apartment and the keys he drops on the floor is only the beginning of the trail they leave behind as they make their way to his bedroom. A jacket, one shoe, Killian’s sweater, another shoe, another jacket, her bra, her dress, her wet panties… they don’t even break the kiss to fling their clothes to the floor, and their lips are still connected when they make it to the room and fall into Killian’s bed.
Emma can’t believe that after five years she’s finally making love to this man, making love several times in several different positions, and when they’re both completely sapped, their heads are falling against the pillows and he’s kissing the back of her hand and asking her on a date.
~*~
Once they're not both in bed or out on their first official date (they wait until they go back to her place to begin any more enjoyable activities this time), Emma finally gets to watch the video of Killian’s reaction to the dirty text she’d sent him two days prior. 
And what she sees fills her with so much happiness, she can’t stop smiling.
And when she uploads the video on Tik Tok, it goes viral.
~*~
Killian sighs heavily into his hands. He’s such an idiot. He needs to just man up and tell Emma how he feels. But if it were really that easy, then he would’ve done it five years ago, right?
The sound of his phone vibrating against the table drags him from his reverie and he lifts his face from his hands and picks up his phone. 
It’s a text message from Emma.
Emma: I have a confession. I didn’t actually have to pee. All that talk of licking your cock made me so wet. Made it difficult to sit across from you instead of crawling underneath the table and licking your cock.
Killian groans, his cock actually twitching when he reads her text.
Fuck.
He’s completely stunned. He doesn’t even know how to react or feel about her text. Is she serious? Is she joking? Is it the alcohol?
A million questions race through his mind and when he’s finally able to peel his eyes from his phone screen, he looks across the bar toward the restrooms. He’s half expecting to find her watching him from a distance to catch his reaction but she’s nowhere in sight. He looks at his phone again and reads her text again. A slow smile creeps across his lips at the thought of Emma crawling underneath the table to suck him off.
Bloody hell.
Suddenly he feels very warm and grabs the drink menu to fan himself. Did they turn on the heat in here?
He blows out a laden breath and slips the phone into his pocket, trying to recover from how turned on he is. The thought of Emma’s sweet, pink lips wrapped around his hard, aching cock makes him painfully hard. And he’s pretty sure his arousal is written all over his face. But he also wonders what this means. 
Was she sending him an invitation?
Does she want him to take action? Is she wanting him to meet her in the restroom? 
He’s not sure, but he’s not about to let this opportunity slip from his fingers. Killian sets down the menu, drags a hand through his hair and gets up before he can talk himself out of it.
Fuck.
Is he actually going to the ladies’ room to get his dick sucked?
Nah, while the thought of having Emma’s mouth on his cock is awfully enticing, he has other ideas in mind.
As he approaches the hallway, he can see Emma on her phone. He suddenly becomes nervous and completely terrified. 
Holy hell.
Is he actually doing this?
He keeps moving his feet, breaking through his stubborn wall of fear that’s held him back all this time. He breaks through the wall of anxiety and nerves that have weighed him down. 
He takes another deep breath, steps into her space and snatches the phone from her hand, hoping and praying this isn’t a huge mistake.
If it was a mistake, then it was the best mistake he’s ever made. Because not only does he get to be with his best friend—the woman of his dreams—but her brother doesn’t completely hate him. David wasn't happy at first, but he’s slowly getting used to the idea of his best buddy dating his sister.
And Mary Margaret is overjoyed. But she's been acting very peculiar ever since he began dating Emma. Every time they meet Mary Margaret and David for lunch, the petite brunette always says without fail, “Guess what time it is?” After Emma shakes her head and rolls her eyes, Mary Margaret always has the same answer to her own question: “It’s time for you to buy your own grilled cheese sandwich and onion rings.”
Which is strange because, being the gentleman his mum raised him to be, he always foots the bill whenever he takes Emma out to eat.
What's even more puzzling is that Mary Margaret suddenly stops saying it after a year.
David's wife sure is an odd one.
Tagging:  @itsfabianadocarmo @ilovemesomekillianjones @onceuponaprincessworld @teamhook @resident-of-storybrooke @searchingwardrobes @gingerchangeling @lfh1226-linda @xsajx @artistic-writer @kmomof4 @hollyethecurious @superchocovian
Sorry if I missed anyone, I’m very sleepy at the moment and have a long, early day tommorrow, so I’m posting this before I sleep.
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laurawritesandgames · 4 years ago
Text
Title: The Children We Never Had
Fandom: Beetlejuice (Musical)
Rating: PG-13
Pairing: Beetlejuice/Barbara/Adam
Prompt: Hurt/Comfort
Content Warning: References to miscarriages and abortion
Summary: As Delia and Charles prepare to start their family together, Barbara reflects on her chance to have her own children. What once seemed so simple can become much more complicated when you’re a ghost....
Delia and Charles had just completed the first round of IVF treatments. Delia was fanatic about getting all toxins out of the house, so one Saturday the Maitlands, Beetlejuice and Lydia were helping Delia get rid of any plastic containers in the kitchen, to be replaced with glass containers.
“Why is there so much Tupperware?” Delia exclaimed.
“One of Mom’s friends sold Tupperware, and we had a few parties,” Lydia said. “Mom was sick for years. If she’d been able to keep up with the science, I doubt she would’ve kept them. She was nuts about the environment.” Lydia frowned thoughtfully. “Say, Delia, what exactly are your thoughts on vaccines?”
Barbara and Adam shared a look. They knew from the Maitland-Deetz’s biweekly parenting meetings that Delia had anti-vaxxer tendencies. She was, at least, open to a respectful discussion about vaccines. Give Charles a few conversations and she’d probably give in to science and reason—the newlyweds were crazy for each other.
Not that Lydia had any of that context.
“I’m just not convinced vaccines are necessary. I have some very interesting websites I can show you later, Lydia. There’s a lot of doubt about the so-called ‘science’ that Big Pharma doesn’t want you to see.”
Lydia’s lip curled in the disgust.
“Are you an idiot?!” Beetlejuice said. “I lived in a world without vaccines. It was shit!”
“I just don’t know if I’m willing to take that risk,” Delia said, with her polite, argument-deflecting smile. Adam’s parents had been masters at avoiding conflict, so Barbara knew what would happen next. She’d say something light or silly and try to get everyone focused on the kitchen again.  
“I should draw a door and bring you to the Netherworld, Delia. Give you a tour of Diaper Town so you can see all the dead babies that’re there from before childhood vaccines were a thing.”
“Diaper Town?” Lydia asked.
“Eh, that’s not the real name—just what we called it. Where the dead babies go. Ugh! I had a shift in Diaper Town for a few decades. It was the worst.”
“I imagine they look like they did when they died,” Lydia said, thoughtfully.
“And they never age! That’s the only reason people hang around babies—because they eventually become not-babies.”
“What about miscarriages? Mom had a few before me. Is there going to be a clump of Deetz cells in the Netherworld?”
Barbara reached out for Adam’s hand and found it within seconds. (He’d been across the room a second ago. He must have teleported.) She clenched it. Hard. 
Beetlejuice didn’t notice.
As a ghost, you were always cold. Barbara couldn’t get colder. She also couldn’t swallow to try to wet a dry mouth. Her hands wouldn’t grow cold and prickly with shock. Her emotions were completely disconnected from bodily sensations. She could feel Adam behind her and leaned back into him slightly. Not that he made her feel warmer. Nothing ever would.
If she’d been alive, she might’ve looked like Delia: her face pale as she forced a too-wide smile onto her face. “Let’s all talk about something else, shall we? I don’t want any bad vibes.” Her hand rested on her stomach. During one of their parenting meetings, she’d mentioned she only had a few eggs left. “Not—not right now.”
Lydia glared at her. “Seriously? Hearing about a dead woman’s fertility issues isn’t going to hurt your fetus.”
“The Deetus,” Beetlejuice added. “Deetz fetus. Get it?”
Lydia ignored him. “Bad vibes aren’t a thing!”
“We’ll agree to disagree on that one.” Delia hurried out of the kitchen. “Would anyone mind a smudging ceremony? Just to clear the air and usher in tranquility?”
Lydia followed with a shriek of rage. “’Smudging ceremony’? Are you from an Indigenous tribe, Delia? Because if you’re not, that’s major cultural appropriation!”
“Ooo, cultural appropriation! I know that one!” Beetlejuice said, delighted. When he’d first come back from the Netherworld, the Maitlands had held a few sensitivity seminars for him so he could stop getting into arguments with Lydia. Beetlejuice’s views were a weird mix of surprisingly progressive and incredibly archaic. “It’s a culture, not a costume!” He floated over to Barbara and Adam. “Did I do that right? Do I get a kiss?”
It took a lot of effort to focus on Beetlejuice right now. “Sorry,” Barbara said. “We’re not going to reward you for being a decent person. But thank you for trying.”
Beetlejuice huffed in disappointment.
Adam cleared his throat. Barbara glanced at him. Adam tilted his head slightly at Beetlejuice, raising his eyebrows questioningly. He was asking her for permission to tell Beetlejuice. After a moment’s thought, Barbara nodded. Beetlejuice liked to keep things light, but he was their boyfriend, after all. He should learn a bit more about Barbara and Adam.
“What happens to children who died before they were born?” Adam asked quietly.
Beetlejuice shrugged. “I dunno. I was born dead in one of the original versions of the musical, but it ain’t canon. There aren’t any fetuses floating around the Netherworld. Maybe they go someplace else?” He shrugged, spreading his hands. “I got nothing.” 
Out of habit (not because she actually needed to breathe), Barbara sighed in relief. Thank God, was her first thought, despite having a pretty good idea that God didn’t exist. She let of of Adam’s hand, giving him a small smile.
“Why do you wanna know?” Beetlejuice asked.
Barbara shared another look with Adam before saying, “When I was 22, I got pregnant.” She cleared her throat. She hadn’t talked about this in years.
Beetlejuice didn’t like silences. Immediately, he said, “Quit pulling my leg. If you were pregnant, then where’s your—”
It took a few moments, but his eyes finally widened and his jaw dropped. “Oh. Ohhhh. I didn’t think…” His hands began flapping, then running up and down his sleeves and fiddling with his cuffs. “So we’re bringing in some of the movie backstory. Okay. Okay. Sure.”
“The what?” Adam asked.
“Nevermind. So you guys had a miscarriage.”
“An abortion, actually,” Barbara said.
Beetlejuice stopped bobbing faintly, freezing in mid-air. His voice rose in pitch as he said, “I saw the tags on this fic and I assumed you’d be hurt/comforting me! I’m the one with all the issues! Who the hell told you that you guys could have issues?!” 
“What now?” Barbara said, forcing her tone to stay even. 
“And also, our lives weren’t perfect,” Adam said. “I just want to remind you that both of my parents are dead. So…yeah. When we were alive, we had struggles and challenges like everybody else.”
Beetlejuice began coughing. He stuck his fingers in his mouth, eventually pulling out a foot and tossing it on the ground. (Barbara had learned not to ask whose foot.) “Um. Can I try again?”
She crossed her arms over her chest. “Feel free.”
Beetlejuice opened and closed his mouth a few times, but didn’t say anything.
Adam said, “Just so you know, Bug, this isn’t something to share.” Beetlejuice was a compulsive oversharer; they’d learned to explicitly tell him what was appropriate and what wasn’t.
“It’s not because we’re ashamed,” Barbara said quickly. “It’s just our story to tell, that’s all.”
“Right! I can do that.” He focused on something in the middle distance. “Although maybe some people could really examine their need to inject complicated real-world issues into a stupid five-page fic for Beetlelands Week. Not every fandom and every fic can bear that weight! And some characters definitely aren’t designed to deal with shit like this! They’re awesome Deadpool-style badasses and not…not…whatever this needs!”
Barbara loved Beetlejuce, but he was getting on her last nerve. I didn’t think he’d completely disassociate like this. It’s only a goddamn abortion. He didn’t even have to deal with anything! “Well, I’m sorry my and Adam’s history is such an inconvenience for you. I’m going to go find something to do. If you want to talk when you’re not spiraling and doing whatever this is, come find me.”
Barbara teleported to their bedroom, the Deetzes’ former guest room, upstairs, and Adam teleported with her.
Tears wavered in his eyes. Startled, she held him, stroking his back.
“Sorry,” he murmured.
“No, don’t be.”
He sniffled a few times, wiping his tears away. Their ghostly bodies still remembered how to produce tears, and if Beetlejuice was any indication, that memory would stick with them for centuries. He whispered, “We would’ve had a child. If it weren’t for me—”
Adam had always felt needless guilt about mentioning the abortion first. She’d thought he’d gotten over it. “You didn’t force me. We had student loans, the recession had just hit the year before, we couldn’t find work, and most importantly? We weren’t ready. We were barely ready 10 years later, when we had a house and good jobs.”
He smiled sadly, wiping the tears from his eyes. “Sorry. I don’t know where this is coming from.” He stroked her cheek. “I’m here for you. Whatever you need.”
She blinked. “I’m…fine? I’ve been fine for 10 years.” She hadn’t been fine immediately before and after the abortion. There’d been lots of crying, praying, and long conversations, but that had been a long time ago. Gently, she asked, “I thought you were, too. Was I wrong?”
When did we really talk about it except immediately after? Barbara couldn’t recall.
Adam gave her that same distracted smile he used to give her after his parents’ funeral. He was a brave little soldier, marching forward. “You weren’t wrong. I’m fine.”
You didn’t push when you saw that smile. “I think I’m going to read something. Want to join me?”
“I wouldn’t mind working on the model a bit more. Call me if you need anything.”
“I will.” She kissed his cheek, and he went up to the attic to work on his model of Winter River.
She was choosing between Michelle Obama’s biography a polyamory how-to guide when a spider skittered underneath the door. The spider climbed up the wall then began spinning a web in the corner of the room at unnatural speed. Letters appeared in the web.
SORRY
I WAS A BAD BOYFRIEND
It’s a Charlotte’s Web homage, Barbara realized. She’d loved that book as a child. He remembered. “Apology accepted, Beetlejuice.”
He knocked on the door. Opening it revealed him reading from index cards. Delia, who was using her life coach skills to help Beetlejuice adjust to being part of the family, had encouraged him to write down important things.
“I should have reacted a lot better than I did,” Beetlejuice read. “You and Adam trusted me with with a part of your lives, and I should have liz—lizden? Shit, I’m bad at spelling.” He looked up from the cards, rocking back and forth on his feet. “Anyway, thanks for trusting me, baby. Sorry I was being a dick about it. You and Adam having an—an abortion had nothing to do with me or my feelings.”
Beetlejuice could talk about the filthiest sex acts and talk about rotting corpses without flinching, but now he was stumbling. Interesting. “Well, ‘we had an abortion’ might’ve been a lot to throw at you. We could’ve prepared you better.” She nodded him inside, and he floated in. She closed the door behind her. “I imagine abortions weren’t really talked about in your day.”
“Well, we thought ladies’ wombs wandered around their bodies, so…no.”
“Do you have any questions?”
“Um…are you okay?” He fidgeted. “You’re all…y’know, motherly and shit. Are you sad about having an abortion?”
“No. I mean, I don’t love that I needed it. Adam and I were a lot more careful making love after that, believe me. But Adam and my family had my back, and luckily I live in a state where I can access an abortion easily. I also found some forums, and chatting with people who’d also had abortions helped me feel less alone. Honestly, until Lydia brought up miscarriages today, I hadn’t thought about my abortion in years.” Feeling awkward, she chuckled. “Um, really glad I won’t have to deal with a clump of cells following me around in the Netherworld, though.”
She felt a twinge of guilt for not feeling guiltier. Her Good Christian Girl upbringing still reared its head now and then. But I did what was best for my family at the time. That’s all anyone can do. If I’d known Adam and I were going to die 10 years later, we might’ve done things differently, but how could we have known that?
“So, that’s my story. I was supported and very lucky. I’m not sad or guilty or anything.” She frowned. “Adam might be, though. He was strangely upset.” Did I do something wrong? Has he been suffering for years without me noticing? “He’s upstairs working on the model again.”
“I’ll cheer him up!” Beetlejuice said. He clapped his hands together. “It’s hurt/comfort. Time to be goddamn comforted, Adam.”
“I’d give him a few hours.” Adam was a brooder. There was a certain point where he just wouldn’t engage.
Beetlejuice chuckled, patting her smarmily on the head. “Your boring, married-couple rules don’t apply to me, Babs. I’mma shake things up and heal his wounded heart. You can come up and watch, if you want. Watch me win.”
Barbara made herself laugh as she tried to ignore her jealousy. Beetlejuice was just being his usual low-grade dickish self, but what if he was right? Maybe Adam will respond better to Beetlejuice than to me. I didn’t expect Adam to be this sad, after all. What else have I missed? “If you succeed, feel free to come back and give me a play-by-play of your victory.”
Beetlejuice poofed away, and Barbara picked up the how-to guide to polyamory. It couldn’t help to get a refresher.
If Beetlejuice made Adam feel better, then that was a win for everyone. She could ask him how he’d done it and learn from him. The entire point of dating Beetlejuice was to break out of their old patterns and add a little excitement to their afterlives.  
Barbara was lying down on their bed, reading the first chapter when Beetlejuice teleported back in.
“You mighta been right,” he grumbled.
“It’s almost like I’ve been dating him since I was 16.”
“Of course you were high school sweethearts. You two are so cliché, I blocked that out.” Beetlejuice floated closer, whining, “Sexy raised his voice to me, Barbara!”
Barbara set the book down. “Oh, I’m sorry, Bug.” That was the Adam equivalent of full-blown shouting. (Adam had shouted at Beetlejuice before, of course, but that was when Beetlejuice had been a villain.)
“Me! The favourite!”
Barbara raised her eyebrows. “Maybe you should read this chapter with me about egalitarian polyamorous relationships—and how terms like ‘favourite’ are toxic.”
Beetlejuice floated away from her. “Mmm, nope, too many things to do.”
She’d expected that. It wasn’t clear when Beetlejuice had died, but it was definitely before therapy and couple’s counselling had become more mainstream. He didn’t have the same ability to talk about and reflect on his and other’s feelings that Barbara and Adam had. Usually, he just reacted to his own. Barbara wouldn’t have gotten into a relationship with Beetlejuice if she’d been unwilling to teach him.
“Lemme know when he’s ready to talk, okay?” the demon continued.
“Well, I don’t have a psychic link to him, but I’ll try…if you read this chapter with me.”
Beetlejuice crossed his arms over his chest, harrumphing. After a few moments, he shrugged, floated over to the bed, and curled up beside her.
If her eyes could water, they might have at the smell of rotting flesh. But Barbara quickly got used to the smell. “Let me guess—your clones poked around and didn’t find anything else interesting happening right now?”
“Ha! Busted! Delia, Lydia and Charles are still arguing about vaccines. Yap, yap, yap, yap, yap. Making out with you is way more fun.”
“We’re learning how to have a more equitable, communicative relationship. Not making out.”
“We’ll see, baby.”
*
They approached Adam later that afternoon.              
He looked up from a figurine he was painting, expression guilty. “I’ll come down when it’s time for dinner, okay?” he said quietly. “Don’t worry about me.”
“Is there anything we can do for you now?” Barbara asked.
He looked between Barbara and Beetlejuice. His eyes were so haunted…. Barbara took a few steps forward.
“Adam?” she said softly.
“You said we weren’t ready,” he murmured roughly. “What if we would’ve been? We never even gave ourselves the chance….”
He showed her what he’d been working on: a little child figurine with her blonde hair. “There would’ve been part of you and me living now. Someone with your hair and my eyes, or your smile….”
Okay. We haven’t talked about the abortion in years, and now he’s making a model of what would have become our child. So, this is new. But I can handle this. I know him. I’ve got this.
Nevertheless, a tiny part of her really wanted to tag out and let Beetlejuice handle this one. Not that he would’ve done well—he was frozen except for his eyes, frantically flicking between her and Adam.
While Barbara thought of the most empathetic, respectful way to respond, Beetlejuice blurted out, “Someone’s got a case of the Shouldas.”
“Hmm?” Adam grunted, looking uninterested.
“You know, shoulda done this when I was alive. Shoulda done that. Every newlydead goes through it. Of course, usually they’re stuck in an endless void and not chilling in the living world with their sexy boyfriend.” Beetlejuice nodded to Barbara. “And your sexy wife.”
So he had learned something from that chapter they’d read together. Barbara gave him a small smile. “How do newlydeads usually get through it?” she asked.
“‘Get through’ is real optimistic, Babs. They just get crushed by overwhelming despair and hopelessness. It’s the Netherworld. Everything sucks there.”
Adam grunted again.
Beetlejuice rubbed the back of his neck. “Yeah, I can’t really talk about ‘healing’ and shit….” He gestured frantically for Barbara to do something.
One thing about spending so much time with Beetlejuice was that you got used to out-of-the box thinking. It was time for a little experiment. Barbara didn’t give herself time to think, and dove right in.
“Congratulations, Maitlands.” She made air horn noises. The words ‘The Life We Never Had’ appeared in bright text above the model town. “Welcome to your life where you had your child!”
Adam and Beetlejuice both stared at her in stunned silence.
“This got so dark, so fast, but I kinda love it,” Beetlejuice commented.
“Well,” she said, “first of all, forget this house. We’d probably be living with your parents. They don’t even live in town.” She took a few moments to create a mental map, then gestured at the model. It grew larger, to the surrounding counties. Adam’s family farm was on the outskirts of this new map.
“And forget the CPA degree. No way we can afford that now. But your uncle Eddy has that plumbing business. He’d probably give you a job.” She manifested Eddy’s truck, making it drive through town. “I’d probably knit and sell things on Etsy…. Wait, it’s 2010. Does Etsy even exist?” Barbara couldn’t remember. “Or I’d sell them at the local farmer’s market. We probably still love our projects, even if we don’t have as much time for them now.”
Barbara could’ve gone darker. In this future, she would’ve been stuck in Adam’s parents’ home with no career prospects and a baby she wasn’t sure she wanted. If anything was a recipe for postpartum depression, that would’ve been. But she kept it light.
“Oh, jeez,” she realized, “I forgot all about names! What do you think of Aspen?” Barbara had always wanted a nature-themed name.
“It has the word ‘Ass’ in it,” Beetlejuice complained. “Do you want bullies to give your kid swirlies?”
“You’re not here, mister. You don’t get a say.”
“Hey, that’s right! We never meet if you don’t move into the house.” Beetlejuice frowned. “Truly, this is the darkest timeline.”
“What about River?” Adam said. “For our child.”
“River. That’s beautiful. Okay, so little River goes to school here.” She gestured to the school in town. “What do you think? Good grades?”
“Of course.”
“And then you guys commit crimes!” Beetlejuice interrupted.
Barbara raised her eyebrows.
“What? Boring people commit crimes all the time and become awesome. Weeds? Breaking Bad?”
“I’m pretty sure we wouldn’t.”
“Argh, fine, I was just getting bored of all this slice-of-life shit. Let’s spice things up!”
“Ooo, maybe we solve crimes? Like a cozy mystery set in rural Connecticut.”
“Committing them is way more fun, but I’ll take anything at this point. Your ideal lives are so boring! River’s gonna do meth just to feel alive!”
“They might fall in with a bad crowd in high school,” Barbara said.
“Thank you! A little conflict, please. It’s the essence of drama!”
“But we’d be there for them,” Adam said. “Hmm. Mom and Dad would still die, I suppose. I’d probably disappoint my Maitland ancestors and sell the farm.”
Barbara watched him intently. He wasn’t smiling, but he seemed a bit more engaged than he had been.
“We could move into one of the homes here,” she suggested, nodding to one of the small houses on the outside of town.
“That’s gonna really suck for you when the zombies attack,” Beetlejuice said.
Barbara kept making up their fake life, with Adam chiming in every now and then, both of them trying to ignore Beetlejuice’s input. They tried to give River a nice life, with a full-ride scholarship to NYU (which was, coincidentally, Lydia’s dream school), lots of friends, and a home that may not be full of money but was full of love.
Eventually, Adam smiled and shook his head. “Thanks for playing dolls with me, guys.”
Barbara hugged him from behind. “If you need time to mourn, take all the time you need. Beetlejuice and I are here for you.”
Adam wiped some tears from his eyes. “I think I do. Sorry, sweetie. Sometimes all the things we never got to do…they just hit me, hard. Even things I’d made peace with long ago. I spent so much of my life worrying….”
Barbara moved to stand beside him, kissing his cheek. If she could’ve made him feel warm, she would have.
Beetlejuice was spaced out, staring into the middle distance. Thinking of his own Shouldas, maybe? Nah. He never looks back unless he’s trapped in a traumatic memory about his mother. Probably wondering when we can make out again.
She nodded him over, and he blinked, coming back to the present. Hesitantly, he floated over and rested his chin on Adam’s head.
They were both still and silent, two things Beetlejuice hated, so it wasn’t surprising when a horde of centipedes skittered across the model, or a tiny King Kong grabbed a figurine and climbed up to the top of the town bell tower, roaring.
Lydia interrupted them when she she poked her head into the attic and told them dinner was ready. “And the leftovers will be stored in glass containers—if you leave us any leftovers, Beej. Delia cleared the cupboard of all plastics. Don’t worry about the baby, either. If Delia continues to believe tea tree oil can cure pneumonia or whatever, Dad and I will get the kid vaccinated when she’s not around.”
Barbara smiled at her chosen daughter. Beetlejuice was right; they weren’t stuck in the lonely void of the Netherworld. There was life and family just downstairs. “I’m glad. But I’m sure we’ll be able to convince her otherwise. We have nine months.”
“You’re more optimistic than I am, Barbara.”
Adam put the River figurine with the smattering of other children outside the grade school. “Let’s go,” he said quietly.
The three of them followed Lydia to the dinner table.
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redhawtriot · 5 years ago
Text
Valentines 💕Weekend 💕(BNHA x Reader)
Part 1: TYPE
Tip Jar ☕- Not expected but always appreciated💞
I was just thinking about this as I was pumping out the matchups and I really wanted to jot them down lol 
This is just the first things that came to mind when I thought of what people they probably would gravitate towards during Valentines Day! 
Comment whose type you are! I am curious lol
HnM💕
🐒Ojirou: Deep Thinker
I can see him with someone who is really sweet and considerate.
If you say, “remember when…” and then continue to bring up a fond memory between the two of you, he would probably like that a lot. You remembered!
I feel like the poor guy just wants to make a bigger impact.
Their s/o would be the type to remind them of their worth a lot
He would really appreciate a person that would try really hard to get to know him on a different level,
“Would you rather eat 50 tiny spiders or a one big fat juicy tarantula?” He would just look at you with so much confusion but so much LOVE bc Like wtf who asks that?? but he would simultaneously get hit in the feels because you are taking time out of your day to get to know little ol him.
If you’re the type that isn’t very doting, then you’re probably not the best for him.
🎤Jirou: I-N-D-E-P-E-N-D-E-N-T
Wants someone independent, but also who doesn’t have a problem on depending on her.
Like do your thing and live your life, but if she sees you struggling and wants to help you, don’t you fucking dare turn her down.
She would most definitely love it if you were a musician, however If you are not but are interested in music, I could see the two of you having dates with each other where she would teach you how to play guitar.
She needs someone who isn’t too sexual. I feel like she would get annoyed with someone who wanted to have sex every day.
She would much rather spend her time just chilling out with you—existing within each other’s spaces.
If you’re the type that needs constant attention from your s/o when you’re with them, then she prolly isn’t for you.
🥦Midoriya: “I ain’t got no Type”
He is literally a walking, talking puppy dog. He would pretty much like anyone who has well-meaning motives and admirable goals.
You’re loud? Okay you must just be passionate.
You’re quiet? Okay you’re prolly just very pensive
I feel like he is the type that can fall in love with multiple types of people, but they would all have to be the kind of person that makes the first move because woo, chile… he is a nervous wreck. He would probably have an aneurysm in the midst of trying to ask you out, so just take the pressure off of the poor cinnamon roll and do it yourself.
If you’re not the type that likes chasing and would rather be chased, he isn’t for you.
Also get ready to talk about your problems because he is a Cancer and most definitely is willing to deal with emotions.
🐸Tsuyu: Logical
She would certainly like someone who is calm. Bakugou gets on her fucking nerves I can just tell lol.
You can have passion and determination for sure, but she would rather be with someone who carries those attributes quietly, with purpose, rather than boastful.
Like with Jirou, she would probably need someone who would just be okay with existing around each other.
You gotta be okay with her blunt nature.
If you are very sensitive to how people word things to you, and would rather have someone sugarcoat, then she ain’t the one for you, dawg.
💥Bakugou: Ballsy/Not a waste of space
You would have to be persistent as hell to wear down his walls, but not too overbearing or needy. Little things you would do here and there would add up
You would have to solidify yourself as an equal to him as well.
He probably would get annoyed as fuck if you were shy or timid or anything else that he would associate with weakness.
You would have be a person who has their shit together enough to have drive. You gotta have goals in mind and actually be working toward them. He don’t want no scrubs.
I think he would be the type of person to be protective over you, but that certainly doesn’t mean he wants a damsel in distress. You have to be able to hold your own, academically, physically and all.
(Literally just Kirishima whoops)
If you are the type of person who cant speak their mind and is overall nervous or timid you ain’t the one for him.
🏃🏻 Iida: Horse Girl/Guy
He would want someone who is on the same wavelength as him (Lets keep in mind that the wavelength is very hard to come by so he would eventually change his expectations)
He would love if his s/o was as driven as him and held very strong morals.
If you are the kind of person that works out everyday and has a strict diet or color codes your notes and make your own yearly planner or get on Pinterest for room ideas and have a bulletin board in your room with your schedule HAVE I GOT SOME NEWS FOR YOU.
I also feel like he would like horse girls/guys (horse people???) for some reason…
If you’re unnecessarily brash or overconfident or rude you are not the one for him.
😷Shoji: Plain Jane
He probably would want someone who isn’t very chatty, however if you talk a lot, that isn’t a total turn off. He would just want every conversation to have a deeper meaning behind it.
He is also a minimalist so if you are the kind of person who hoards things, you might have to change your lifestyle a bit to be with him.
If you ask questions like, “what is your plan for the zombie apocalypse,” he would certainly entertain this idea and go along with it, trying his best to give you a full, thoughtful answer, but don’t try to make meaningless small talk with him
Also be okay with just existing with each other rather than going out on dates.
If you are extravagant and extra tm then he aint the one for you chief.
😈Tokoyami: Edge Lord
You have to be the kind of person that is okay with his self-deprecation.
You two would make very dark jokes together probably.
If you have ever threatened to gouge your own eyes out or jump off a McDonalds sign to your death Im lookin at you.
Obviously its all jokes—a release to your perpetual state of existentialism.
You would also have to be the person that makes the first move. He would probably get a hint and close the space in between the two of you unlike Midoriya but he would most definitely still need you to make the first move.
He would love it if the two of you could just existent near one another, but would also be understanding if you needed more attention. He would find a happy medium by reading some poetry books aloud to you while you're cuddled up.
👀 Koda: A Soft Boss
You would have to be patient—he has a lot of reservations over pretty much everything.
So he needs someone to be more in charge in the relationship to pull him out of his comfort zone a little.
You have to be okay with being the one in the relationship to kill all of the house spiders (actually probably not kill—more like catch and release)
👣Hagakure: Preppy
You would have to be on pretty much the same vibe as her—energetic, upbeat and unafraid to speak your mind.
She likes people who are overall positive (girl, honestly, idk what else to put for her ass)
🦈Kirishima: One of the Dudes
Manly
You would have to make it very obvious that you were into him. He has a lot of things going on in the little brain of his, so a crush would probably fly over his head. He would just think that he admires you because you're so awesome.
The fact that he wants to hold you would translate into “I wanna arm wrestle them”
The fact that he wants to take you out on dates would turn into, “I want to hang out with my bro.”
You would practically have to scream at him that you wanted him to be more than friends. The friend zone is pretty much an inescapable abyss with this one, so you would have to try extra hard.
If you are the type of person that can sit through hours of action movies and still get pumped during the twelfth high speed chase scene, this might just be your mans.
If you don’t mind him being completely ignorant to your romantic needs at times and you basically just being best friends in your relationship then this might be the man for you.
If you have a habit of lying or a vindictive nature then he isn’t the one for you.
❄️🔥Todoroki: A Therapist
I could see him being with multiple different personalities since he is overall confused with human interaction. I feel like he would be willing to get to know anyone.
You gotta be patient with him though since he takes everything so literal (If you live off sarcasm then it will be super difficult for you)
He would like someone who is very understanding
A good listener, but also can give good feedback.
If you're the kind of person that gets uncomfortable with oversharing or can’t handle when people come to you with their problems all the time he ain’t the one for you.
🎹Yaoyorozu: Cheer-leading Captain
Someone to hype her up, but also lead.
She would certainly certainly be attracted to someone that is of a type A personality. She admires people who are driven and successful, so as long as she sees that you are putting in effort and have a strong sense of determination you're good!
This girl doubts herself so much, so you have to be willing to spend your time hyping her up.
Be willing to try 50 different types of tea.
She would certainly want to go out on dates all of the time, so if you are more of a home body she aint the one.
⚡️Kaminari: Mean Girl/guy
Literally anyone who will give him the time of day, but this boy loves a challenge.
If you are the standoffish, sarcastic, vindictive type then this might be your mans.
He loves rough banter and would totally be the type to pick on you just to see your adorable angry face. He thinks that it ‘spices things up’.
Probably into the more sensual typee of person as well (if you consider yourself a man-eater he would literally fall in love so quickly so be gentle okay? Don’t hurt our pikachu)
I feel like he’s the type of person that would ask you to “Yaaas! Please stomp on my face, kween”
Bonus points if your last name ends in an ‘o’ sound (shinsou, bakugou, jirou, ashido)
He is the type to want to show you off to everyone so if you’re the bashful or timid type then he might not be the one for you.
Mineta: Ew
Moving on… Nothing to see here folks.
🐷Ashido: Two halfs of a Whole Idiot
 Needs someone who will hype her up.
You would certainly have to be the one to sweep her off of her feet because I feel like she is so friendly that she just might accidentally friend-zone you without even knowing it.
If you quote vine/tiktoc daily then I am looking at you.
You would probably also live on social media so I could see the two of you being that cute couple on YouTube or Instagram that does silly/sweet things with one another. 
If you have a problem with a very loud, obvious relationship then she prolly isn't the one for you. 
😴Shinsou: The Mom Friend
He probably wouldn't enjoy someone who was constantly in his face (although if he did end up with someone like this it would be hella slow-burn-- an acquired taste if you will)
He would probably gravitate toward someone who calmly checks up on him and who he could lean on to give him motivational speeches. 
This boy is low-key emotional and has low self esteem, so if you are good at reaching through to him then he would certainly fall for you. 
I think that he would be the type to eventually become very affectionate and want to take you out on hella dates to (passively) show you off to the world.
If you are hyperactive and loud that might make him close himself off before you can break his emotional wall, so he might not be the one for you.
✨Aoyama: Ego Booster/Ballerina
someone who will believe in him and compliment him (or even just acknowledge his existence actually)
I could totally see him dating a ballerina, because he would be so enamored by their majesty. 
Like he finally found someone as magnifique as him, wow. 
You would have to be the type of person that is okay with very forward advances. 
Like get prepared for “will you go out with me?” spelled in cheese by your front door. 
If you cant handle people who chase this hard, then he might not be the one for you. 
🎞Sero: Not the Sharpest Tool in the Shed
He is idiot sexual and no one can change my mind
If you find yourself searching your kitchen every five minutes to check if there is new food, walking into a room of your friends to annoy them for five minutes before leaving, or have a album in your phone with over 1,000 reaction pics, I am lookin at youuuuu!
He would most definitely be the person to chase, but he would do it very carefully to test the waters.
He wouldn't chase too hard, so if his advancements would go over your head the first time you're in trouble!
☁️Uraraka: Girl/Boy Next Door
She would fall for a sweet guy/girl. 
they would have to be an overall, kind spirit, but still have great goals.
If you're the type of person that can goes “Oh look at the moon!” and then ends up talking about a random topic like Bigfoot or aliens while looking at the stars, I could see her falling for you.
More than anything I feel like she admires driven people, so if you have shaky or unsure morals or goals, she probably isnt the one for you.
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hinatastinygiant · 3 years ago
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Newest Manager - Eight
"Hey, watch where you're going there, Y/N!"
Shit. I just bumped into Terushima.
"Wow, I'm really sorry. Guess I need to work on where I'm looking," you groan, rubbing your head.
"It's okay," he chuckles softly, "do you want to come sit with me for a bit?"
"Sure!"
You follow Terushima inside to where two of the Johzenji guys are sitting.
"Hey guys, this is Y/N," he smiles at the others.
"Hi Y/N! I'm Bobata."
"Hi!" you wave back.
"And I'm Futamata."
"Hey wait, I recognize you!" you say, a small gasp escaping your lips as you speak.
"Seriously?" Terushima hums.
"I think I saw you in a photo my friend showed me."
"Damn Futamata, you got all the girls talking about you."
Immediately realizing what you just admitted to them, you feel yourself get a bit embarrassed. Perhaps you overshared just a bit. They definitely didn't need to know that you and Asuka talked about them.
"What photo did you see Futamata in, Y/N?" asks Terushima.
Shit.
"Oh, um, I can't really remember," you lie, "but we weren't saying anything about you in a bad way!"
The boys laugh, but then continue to ask you about yourself. You tell them all about how you enjoy volleyball and just became Seijoh's manager. While you talk, you notice Iwa on the other side of the room and become unable to take your eyes off him. Once you finally do, you look over at Terushima to see him looking back at you.
Did he catch me watching Iwa?
A few seconds later, Terushima grabs your wrist and asks you if you want to sit. At first you decline because you didn't want to be a bother, but he grabs you by the waist and softly pulls you onto his lap. In shock, the other boys stop what they're talking about and stare at you.
What's the big deal? All I'm doing is sitting. It's not like he's putting any moves on me.
You gaze back over at Iwa who looks away from you the second you make eye contact. You begin to overanalyze your situation, questioning the situation you've found yourself in. However, the Johzenji boys act normally, continue to tell you about their team. All of them are super nice and the game tomorrow sounds like it'll be an interesting one.
"What positions do you guys play?" you ask, deciding to drop your thoughts about sitting on Terushima's lap.
"I'm a middle blocker," says Bobata.
"And I'm a setter," Futamata adds.
"Awesome! That's me too!" you beam, "Being the setter is the best!"
The boys all notice you're all excited to talk about setting. They let you ramble on for a little while until Terushima cuts in.
"You know, I'm a wing spiker," he nods, "you should show us your sets sometime Y/N."
"I'd love to!"
As you continue talking about setting with Futamata, Terushima slides one of his hands to touch your waist. You don't think much of it since you're probably squishing him a little bit by now.
After a while, Terushima slides his other hand to touch your thigh. Your immediate reaction is to look up at Iwa again. As your eyes meet with Iwa's you can feel his murderous aura towards Terushima.
What is wrong with me? It's not like Iwa's done much to show he's interested so why do I keep looking at him as if I'm cheating? Get it together Y/N.
Oikawa eventually notices Iwa staring at Terushima and looks past your cousin to see you, his eyes widening as the realization strikes his brain. Seeing a visible smirk appear on Oikawa's face, you know Yutaro's about to catch you.
Fuck, please don't let Yutaro turn around. I'll die if he notices.
As Yutaro turns around, it seems as if he is staring deep into Terushima soul. He looks about ten million more times pissed than Iwa did, but turns away quicker. You watch as Yutaro looks over at Iwa and says something to him in a serious manner.
"Hey," calls Terushima, "you okay?"
"Huh?" you hum as you come back to reality.
"Would you care to go outside with me for a bit? I could use some fresh air."
You nod and stand up from his lap. As Terushima stands, he grabs onto your waist again with one of his hands and tells his friends he'll be back later.
Damn, why's Terushima acting this way around me all of a sudden. I don't know what to think.
You and Terushima walk to the backyard. As you reach the back door you trip over the threshold. Luckily, Terushima catches you before you fell on the ground.
"Thanks."
"Man, you sure are clumsy Y/N."
I really hope Iwa and Yutaro didn't see me fall. I don't want them thinking I'm not safe.
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"You're pretty funny Y/N," Terushima chuckles softly.
It's felt like a half-hour since you both sat outside and you were having a great time chatting with him. He was really easy to talk to and didn't judge you for being a little silly.
"Thanks," you grin.
Terushima's honestly pretty cute. Actually, it's a lot more than that but damn. I have no idea why he's talking to me or even how we got here, but I'm surprised that I'm actually enjoying myself tonight. I'll kick myself if I don't remember any of this in the morning.
"Would it be okay if I got your number?"
Heat rushes to your face the second he asks. The question of what you should do next immediately strikes your brain. Your mind begins to race as your heart pounds uncontrollably.
There's no way I'm falling for Terushima right now. This is ridiculous.
"If not, it's okay. I understand," he says "Oikawa, right?"
"What? Oikawa? What about him?" you ask, genuinely confused since there's no way you had feelings for your team's captain.
"I just figured you were into him, that's all. I saw you looking his way before."
"No!" you retaliate, "I'm not into Oikawa at all!"
Terushima laughs at the thought of Oikawa failing to hit on you.
"So then may I have your number?"
"Sure," you nod as Terushima hands you his phone.
What's wrong with this phone? I can't make out any of the numbers or letters? Where's the fucking five?
"Help" you mumble.
"Damn Y/N you're so cute when you need help," he chuckles as he takes back the phone.
A frown forms on your face as you watch him hold the phone. "Do you not want it anymore?"
"Of course I do. Just tell it to me and I'll do my best to write it."
After you give Terushima your number you go back to the same fun conversation you had before. A little while later, you begin to feel Terushima slide his hand back onto your thigh. This time it feels different because you pay attention to it more than before. As you feel him slide his body closer to yours you can't help but stare at him. As Terushima leans in even closer to you, you can feel his chest pressed up against yours while he slides his other hand around your waist. Not knowing what to feel, you continue to stare at Terushima from the close distance as he leans in to kiss you.
"Um, hey Y/N."
Iwa?!
Newest Manager Masterlist
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hellishhin · 4 years ago
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Hi!
Firstly, I just want to say it's so cool that you have a character that has stuck with you for so long and that she's had such a rich and deep life! I can tell you guys have a true friendship! 💕🙂
So my question is, (if it's not too personal) how much do you and Sadie have in common?
Aww thank you so much! Yeah I sure do gush about her a lot hehe! She's definitely my girl <3 And this question is awesome and not too personal at all! It's going to make me think really hard. I'm going to talk about both what we have in common and where we differ too.
So the first thing Sadie and I have in common is a desire to help people. I am one of the top of my class in my masters program and all I do is offer to study with people and help them however I can. In contrast to another student who is also in the top of the class and makes fun of peoples learning disabilities and calls people hopeless on a regular basis... I digress. Sadie also just wants to help people as much as she can.
Where we differ though is Sadie has a positive, can-do attitude. She can change the world because she knows she can. I am more nihilistic and tend to second guess just how much good I could actually do as one person. Most of our real world problems seem too large so I keep my head down and focus on helping the people around me.
Sadie is also pretty impulsive and I would say I have that tendency. Certain things, like spending money, I will sit on for days and days and ponder if I really need to replace that one thing that still works a solid 10% of the time that's enough right? lol. However when it comes to emotional impulsiveness I've been known to engage my full mindfuck powers and really be an absolute bitch sometimes. I immediately regret it afterward, just like Sadie does, but in the heat of the moment I will know the exact right thing to say to make it a 'killing blow' and sometimes I don't have enough control to not say it. I am infinitely better now and have calmed down a little (I'm 24 so slowly settling down from the hot-blooded years) but sometimes I still have intense anger flare ups.
Speaking of the anger, Sadie also takes things to heart very easily. She kind of has a... "self-punishment" attitude if she really messes something up with someone and I hate to say it but I'm the same way. Nothing extreme, just like laying in bed and not doing anything fun because in my mind someone is offended by something I did by accident (even though they are just busy and aren't upset at all in real life). I've... I wish I could say I have worked through this by playing out these scenarios with Sadie but it's also possible I exacerbated it. It was also happening to Sadie a lot more during a point where my stupid birth control was making me extremely depressed and I didn't know that was the reason so playing Sadie was probably making it worse. But I'm so much better now so it's kind of cathartic to go through those episodes with her.
This was all very fascinating for myself to realize this haha. Normally I think about how we are different and not how we are the same. I hope that wasn't too much oversharing lol I am known to do that.
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hippychick006 · 4 years ago
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12.06 - Celebrating the life of Asa Fox Episode Review/Recap
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Honestly, I see a picture like this on a promo and I have no hesitation diving straight in. Okay, you all know I have a hurt!Sam fetish, complete with writhing on the floor padabooty, let’s not bang on about it.
Official episode summary: THREE WINCHESTERS ARE BETTER THAN ONE – When hunters gather together to celebrate the life and tragic death of one of their own, Sam (Jared Padalecki) Dean (Jensen Ackles) and Mary (guest star Samantha Smith) must take action when a demon starts picking off hunters one by one. John Bedham directed the episode written by Steven Yockey  
My optimum number of Winchesters is two but yeah, I don’t mind a buy two get one extra free here and there.
Overall, I do really enjoy this episode, even after rewatch but putting under a cut to save space.
There’s a lot of things I don’t like about the Dabb era, and in terms of this episode, retconning Mary to be a hunter after parenthood is one of those things that niggles a little (I know she was a hunter before parenthood which also irks for different reasons) so there’s a lot I have to shake off from my mind in order to be able to enjoy an episode. And on rewatch, I had less issues than I did the first time (but given I’m coming at this straight from season 15, it could be a case of me just grasping onto absolutely anything that isn’t terrible).
Aside from the Mary thing, I love so much about this episode, not least because there isn’t a single mention of feathers who I am seriously going to struggle watching in any episode going forward thanks to 15.18 debacle.
Anyway moving swifly on…
First up is the intro and I love the introduction of Asa Fox as a character. We first meet him as a child, who Mary saves from a werewolf attack. And then we see him become interested in hunting (as Mary tells him she’s soon going to retire, and he’s worried that if she does: who’s gonna save people like me?)
Asa decides it’s going to be him and through a montage set to Bachman-Turner Overdrive’s Roll On Down The Highway, we see Asa grow up to become a pretty awesome hunter. Throughout all this time, he writes postcards to Mary, but doesn’t send them (no address) so he has quite a collection by the end and I think it’s all his hunts.
I’m so caught up in how awesome Asa is and how much I like this new character, I’m completely jarred when he comes to a sudden and unexpected end via hanging which also brings the music to an abrubt halt.
Great intro, Asa said very few words but I’m already mourning not getting to know him more.
After the opening titles, we switch to Jody who is chilling out at home about to watch Netflix when there’s a knock at the door.  Turns out it’s Sam and Dean who have just finished up a hunt and stopped by to visit. Unfortunately the cardboard cutout “just add water” instant girl hunters are at a concert. Jody offers to feed them, and Dean lets her know that he killed Hitler since the last time they saw her.
Sam: *huffs and walks away Jody: *blank stare “thank you?” Dean: You’re welcome
Love it.
They have pizza and watch Netflix and have a debate about rom coms. Sam says Dean is more of “an animated Japanese erotica chick.”
A little oversharing on your brother’s habits there Sammy, but Sam is not concerned in the least.  In fact, I love how totally relaxed Sam is sitting here. He’s clearly comfortable at Jody’s slumped on her sofa.
The phone rings and Jody goes to answer it, Sam and Dean have a conversation about Sam oversharing which Dean’s uncomfortable with.
Sam: Dude, be proud of your hobbies. It makes you who you are.
Supportive Sam encouraging his brother!
Jody returns and walks past them, she’s clearly upset. The boys follow to watch her start packing.  They ask what’s wrong and Jody says a friend of hers died – it’s poor Asa from the opener and I wasn’t expecting a link from Jody to Asa.  
The name is familiar to Dean and he’s trying to figure it out when Sam says it’s the guy Ellen used to tell stories about at the Roadhouse.  Asa apparently killed five wendigos in a single night and now I’m even more mourning his loss. Seems Jody met Asa when he came to town on a hunt, she caught him out when he tried to pretend to be an FBI agent by the name, Fox Mulder. He’s worse than the Winchesters!  Anyway she helped him out on a ghoul hunt and they kept in touch.The boys decide to go with her to the wake, John didn’t let them go to hunter gatherings outside of bars as he always said they were trouble.
Turns out Asa lived in Manitoba, Dean says “oh Canada” when he gets out of the car on arrival.  Sam is impressed with the house which yes, nice digs for a hunter.
We meet Asa’s mother, Lorraine and she knew her son was a hunter. She’s heavily in to the drink but she’s just lost her son, so I’m cutting her some slack as I can’t imagine anything worse.
Dean finds his way to the kitchen (and the beer) which has no label. He’s concerned but “Bucky” homebrewed it himself and it’s strong.  Dean introduces himself which gets the attention of the several hunters in the room,
Randy: No freakin’ way. Aren’t you dead? Like, four times? Dean: Yeah. It, uh, didn't take.
Just wait till they hear about Mystery Spot where he died over a hundred times in a single day!
Sam fanboy hunter: Wait. Your brother here? Sam? Dean: Yeah, he's still alive, too. He's –
Fanboy doesn’t even wait for Dean to finish, he’s off to find Sam.  Same fanboy (named Elvis), same tbh
While Dean’s making friend’s in the kitchen – and learning not to say the name ‘Wendigo’ which turns out to be a trigger word to take a drink - Sam’s homed in on hotboy Max and his equally hot sister Alicia.  Turns out their mother is a good witch who taught Alicia how to hunt bad witches.
Sam (to Max): What did she teach you? Max: Uh, mostly how to seduce men. Alicia: She also taught him some magic, which is actually more useful. Max: Eh, mostly the men thing.
Max is definitely getting his flirt on, making sure Sam knows he’s into hot men, and we cannot deny, Sam is a hot man. Before Sam can flirt back, Elvis interrupts and introduces himself and then makes Sam feel awkward when he asks Sam about being possessed by the devil. Bad Elvis!
Max (and Alicia) are both pissed on Sam’s behalf,
Alicia: Dude, you don't just ask someone about something that messed up. Max: Seriously, back off.
Protective!Max alert, I’m going to need a few minutes with my new ship Samax, though to be honest, the way Max and Alicia are sitting together, it might need to be Samaxia, which no issue other than it sounds like a drug that gets advertised on television with all kinds of side effect warnings, like may cause death...)
Elvis makes Sam feel so awkward that he runs off to go find a beer. Elvis then tries to talk to Max and Alicia and they outright just tell him to go away. Love them.
Aww, Sam got his beer and then went off to find his big brother. In fairness, I think they’ve been separated five minutes at this point and in that time Sam was accosted by Elvis. Dean’s looking through Asa’s office and discovers he has a real angel blade. Sam asks if Dean knew people tell stories about them.
Dean: Yeah. Apparently, we’re a little bit legendary. Sam: Yeah, but, I mean, so was Asa. Then a hunt went bad, and he ended up hanging from a tree, alone in the woods. Dean: He died on the job. No better way to go. Sam: You really believe that? Dean: Yeah. What, you don’t? I mean, come on, Sam, it's not like we're in the “live till you're 90, die in your sleep” business. This? [Dean points at Asa’s hunting wall] This only ends one way.
It’s difficult watching this knowing the ultimate end as I know Sam’s never agreed with this, being the one to want to see an end to hunting at some point; but you can’t deny Dean has been consistent in how he thinks he’s going to go out and has always seemed at peace with that.
Sam says they should get back and Dean agrees but warns Sam not to say “wendigo” to anyone. I love that he warns Sam. Every time Dean is a good brother, it just reminds me how much of a bad sister I am as I would not have passed on the warning. Sam’s confused about why he can’t say it but seems to just accept it.
Only a few people are around by the end of the night, still telling stories of Asa’s epic hunts - mainly Bucky. Why show, why give us this amazing man and kill him off in the first five minutes?!.
Anyway, turns out that the “ghoul story” from earlier had more to it. Asa and Jody got together for some “sweet sweet time alone”. Jody plays it down, says it was more of a casual thing. Turns out Asa could beat Dean in the ladies game and I think even Alicia and Max mother was one of his conquests (we saw this in the opening montage as well, Asa kissing a different woman in his car in between hunts).
Randy asks if people want a beer and heads to the kitchen, and I fear Randy is not long for this world as he walks down the hallway alone. We stay on him as he returns and my anxiety is kicking in, even with expecting something, it’s sudden when his throat is slit and he’s dragged off down a side corridor by someone wearing black.
Alicia walks back into the living room carrying two beers – and we’re reminded she’s dressed all in black?!  Alicia? Surely not.
We see someone enter the door and only see their boots as they walk, they stop just outside the living rom where everyone is talking. Loraine hears the footsteps stop and tells the stranger to come in and not hover.
Turns out it’s Mary.  Awkward Winchester family reunion, given I think from memory Mary walked out an episode or so ago.
Sam, Dean, Jody and Mary go somewhere more quiet to talk.
Mary: What are you doing here? Dean: What are you doing here?
I love the reversed dynamic of Sam being go between Dean and Mary (where it was the reverse between Sam and John).  Sam introduces Mary to Jody as their mother.
Jody: I thought– I thought you were... Mary: I was. Jody: [quietly] Wow. Wow! [She hugs Mary excitedly] It is so nice to meet you!
She belatedly sees the awkward tension and ships out to give them “some family time”
Dean asks where Mary’s been and she responds she’s been using John’s journal to work through a few things.
Dean: You could’ve just asked us, you know. Sam: Dean, come on. Dean: She could’ve. Mary: It’s okay. He’s right. But… This is something I needed to do alone. I… Listen, most of the people I knew are dead. And then I remembered Asa. He was so young when I met him, I thought he must still be around. And then… I saw an article about his death, and, uh… Dean: So you’ll text us once a week, maybe, but you’ll drive all the way to Canada to see some dead guy? Well, that’s awesome. I’m gonna get some air. Mary: Dean, wait...
Mary tries to go after Dean but Sam stops her. Sam knows his brother.
Jody on the other hand stops Dean at the door and pretty much says she’s here if Dean wants to talk about anything other than killing Hitler (which Dean spent the five hour drive telling her in excruciating detail.). She talks about giving anything to have her dead husband and son back but at the same time she would be worried it wouldn’t be the same which gives Dean some food for thought in regard to his complicated relationship with Mary.
Mary’s in the kitchen getting a beer, Lorraine introduces herself as Asa’s mother. Mary introduces herself as Mary Winchester, which Lorraine can’t believe as Mary should be her age. Mary: It’s a long story. She says she’s sorry. Lorraine says she should be, Mary’s the reason her son didn’t become an astronaut. She’s very bitter and hands Mary the box with the postcards Asa wrote to her. Mary defends herself and says she saved Asa’s life.
Lorraine: [scoffing] What am I supposed to say to that? After you, Asa got so… Hunting was his whole life. He never married. Never had a family, kids. And now… enjoy the wake.
I love this next scene between Sam and Mary. Sam finds Mary and asks if she’s all right. She thrusts the box of postcards at him and says she’s fine. She goes into Asa’s office and tells Sam she saved Asa when he was a kid, and this is all on her.
Sam: Well, no. Obviously, mom, he made his own decisions. And he helped a lot of people, you know?
Sam and free will and then we have Season 15 debacle. Pfff
Mary tells him that everywhere she goes and everything she does just feels wrong, but she’ll get used to it.Sam tells her he understands, she just needs space and so does Dean, (who we see outside drinking from his flask), He says Dean is just scared they are going to lose her again,
Sam: “that – that because we're (Sam and Dean) hunters, you're gonna walk away. But I know that’s not true. Even looking at these… [Sam holds out the box of Asa’s postcards to Mary] I mean, you saved Asa in 1980, um, after Dean was born. After everyone thought you quit hunting. Seems like you couldn’t stop then, and… I’m guessing you can’t stop now, either. This job, this life, is crazy and insane. But it’s in our blood. Come on. [Sam puts his arm around Mary] Mary: Where we going? Sam: To say goodbye to Asa.
I love that Sam understands more than anyone the desire to have normal/safe, pulling against the need to save people/hunt things so I love this scene between him and Mary and I like Mary a little bit more because of it. Damn you Jared! You even got me to like Claire once!  
They go to say goodbye to Asa and I like when Mary undoes the cover over his face and we get blood dripping onto Asa’s forehead. It’s interesting to have both Sam and Mary in this scene in a callback to Sam’s nursery scene.  They both look up and it’s Randy, tied to the rafters, dead and bleeding from his neck wound.
Back in the living room, Bucky is still telling stories about Asa. Sam and Mary rush in and Sam tells everyone they need to leave because Randy is dead. I like this, it’s like a murder mystery now. All of a sudden, water is shut off (this is new canon?), and the twins can smell Sulphur. Lights are flickering. Demon alert!
Bucky tells them it’s Jael, a crossroads demon who hangs people, which is his thing, snaps necks (Asa), slits throats (Randy). Turns out Asa exorcised the demon but now it’s back. Bucky tries to open the door, Elvis helps but it slams shut.
Max (trying to impress Sam): you’re wasting your time [he waves a hand in front of the door and we see red symbols] Max says the entire house has been warded.
Not sure if that impressed Sam or not but Max had me at “Seriously, back off” and now this?  *Fans self
Anyway, it means they are trapped inside.
Back outside with Dean, he’s still drinking from his flask. He hears footsteps and doesn’t bother turning around, just tells the person to “go away”. I think he thinks it’s Mary, but turns out to be Billy saying “you’re not the boss of me.”
Dean: Billie. What’re you doing here? Billie: My job. [Dean chuckles] Well, I’m not dead yet. Billie: Shame. But actually, I just finished inside. I was reaping a fresh soul.
Wait, what?  But Dean’s brother is in there! Dean’s pissed and marches to the door.
Inside, Bucky is telling the group more about the demon Jael. Asa exorcised the demon but not before it killed a first nations girl by tying a noose around her neck.
Outside Dean is rattling and banging on the door
Dean: Sam. Sammy! Hey! Billie: You can huff and puff, but that house is on supernatural lockdown. They can’t even hear you.
Bucky is still expositioning and Dean is still trying to get past that old Winchester nemesis “the door”, even throwing a solid statue at it, but nothing is happening.
Okay, we’ve now reached the only part of this episode I have an issue with. We’ve got a group of hunters standing around wondering who the demon is amongst them and not one of them can remember the tests for a demon. Sam come on!  You knew Christo in season 1 and you performed a reverse exorcism in season 8.
Anyway Elvis accuses Alicia of not being in the room and Max says Dean wasn’t in the room either (uh Max buddy, accusing Sam’s brother isn’t going to win you any points in the whole wooing thing, just fyi - of course wooing Sam in the first place is pretty dangerous terratory)
Finally Alicia remembers about holy water but they are all out. Elvis says they can just make more but Mary reminds them the water is off. Uh? The toilet bowl?
Dean’s stopped attacking the door and turns to Billie and asks, What did you do?  Billy says it wasn’t her, she’s just cleaning up the mess but “it’s always nice to see a Winchester who can’t get what he wants.”
Dean: You think this is funny? Huh? Hunters are dying in there. Billie: Everyone dies.
Dean is pretty much losing his shit and I’d like to remind people that at this point, he doesn’t know which hunter has died.
Back with the group, Sam finally remembers his brother is outside so all focus is on Alicia who starts coughing. I think she’s faking it to screw with her brother (totally what I would do) but no,
Alicia/Jael: Alicia’s not here right now. [Her eyes glow red] Leave a message. [she punches Max] Oh, you’re a fun group. We’re gonna have a good time tonight.
Jael leaves Alicia in a cloud of demon smoke and flies into the fireplace. Sam and Max get Alicia up (Samaxia forever – warning for side effects which may include internal bleeding and even death)
They now need to figure who in the house Jael has jumped into. Jody gives the orders (I’ll forgive this, she’s a cop) and they pair off to search the house (why not sweep room to room?), Anyway, Sam’s with Mary and Jody’s with Bucky.
Dean’s worked out that Billy got in to reap the soul so if she can get in, she can get Dean in.
Billie: I could, I suppose. But– Dean: Do it! Billie: But it’s a one-way ticket. And you’re gonna owe me one.
Billie, Sammy is in there, do you think Dean cares about “cosmic consequences” at a time like this? There is a door between them right now ffs!  Sammy may even be dead and Dean does not want him decomposing before he can find a crossroads to make a deal!
Elvis who was supposed to be partnering with Lorraine, left her briefly to get her a double (vodka I presume?).  Anyway Dean comes flying through the door like the overly dramatic bitch he is whenever Sam is in danger.
Dean (whipping out demon knife): Where’s my brother? [he’s already marching past them btw to go look]
THIS IS MY SHOW!  What moron thought this show was going to end with DeanCas?  Come on, don’t be shy, show yourselves so we can point and laugh because you are going to have an epic tantrum approximately 3 and a half years from this episode which could have been prevented if you’d watched the damn show, instead of wallpaper. By the way, in this episode, Castiel was played by the statue Dean threw at the door. [It represents the violent nature of the Destiel relationship – I have a 500 page meta on this if anyone is interested].
Lorraine accuses Dean of being the demon.
Dean: Demon? Lorraine: Kill him! Dean: Whoa, whoa, whoa. Easy, lady. Look, I’m not a demon, okay? I’m one of the good guys. Now stick with me, do what I say, and everybody’ll get out of here, okay? Everybody!
Elvis – making far too much use of his screentime matches Dean’s dramatics by pulling out his own knife and saying ominiously “well, not everybody” [complete with red flashing eyes].
In this episode, Dean is allowed to be a proper hunter and is able to fight.  He taunts the demon, “You’re kinda slow for a demon, aren’t you?” which, he seriously is, no idea how this demon got my wonderful favourite side character “Asa�� killed (if he’s not in the final watching Kansas play at the Road House along with all my other favourites, I will be pissed and have a full week meltdown on Twitter – just fyi) [*I won’t really because I’m not insane. Please don’t report me.]
Dean tells the demon to go to hell. The demon tells Dean that Hell is a “complete train wreck” (uh, no, what is a “complete train wreck” is most of season 12-15) Hell is much more pleasant.  Dean repeats for the demon to go to hell and starts reciting an exorcism (finally, the smart brother is in the room).  Love hearing Dean recite the exorcism. Demon says nuh uh though and snaps Elvis’ neck complete 180 which causes Lorraine to scream, the black smoke escapes from Elvis still standing body. Elvis collapses on the floor and Lorraine is wailing. And I can say “Elvis has left the bulding” which I’ve been waiting the entire episode to be able to say. I’m marginally disappointed Dean didn’t.
Dean helps Lorraine up while shouting “Sammeh!” which brings Sammeh running to the living room. 
Mary: Dean. We thought you were outside. Dean: Yeah, I got back in. Sam: How? Dean: It was a one-time deal. Won’t happen again.
Thankfully, there’s no time for Sam to initiate the Spanish inquisition on THAT right now. They account for everyone – except Elvis obviously. The lights go out and everyone puts flashlights on (Max and Alicia have the phone torch on – me as a hunter!) but Dean pulls out the knife which Alicia and Max look at.  
Alicia: Mm, impressive. Dean: Demon blade. Kills ‘em dead. Max and Alicia in unison: Nice.
While I try to work out a Sam/Max/Alicia/Dean ship name, Bucky suggests lighting candles, Dean says they need a devil’s trap. Sam says “on it” and Dean is right there with him “yep”.  My boys working in sync!
Dean’s plan is for them all to stand in the devil’s trap. The person who won’t get in, is the demon. Clever plan. Mary is impressed and it’s nice for her to see how well one of her sons turned out as a hunter and the other is a cute dumbass – at least Sam had a flashlight.
Mary goes off on her own for some reason and goes to get the angel killing blade from Asa’s office.
Max tries flirting with Sam again, asking what kind of pentagram they are doing
Sam: Standard pentagram. Nothing fancy. Max: I like a Fifth Pentacle of Mars. It’s got more character.
Max bringing his A game to the flirting, I like it. Alicia doesn’t like all the flirting: “Because character is really what matters right now.”  They are just like Sam and Dean! Spin off of codependent witch siblings right tf now. Please and thank you.
Jody sees Mary return and is suspicious she was off on her own. She whispers to Sam that she thinks Mary is possessed, she gets increasingly worried which draws the immediate attention of Dean who comes over and asks what is going on (demon knife drawn out and ready once again). Sam quietly tries to tell Dean that Jody thinks their mom is a demon, but Jody shouts, No, I don’t think, I know! I know she’s a demon. [points accusingly at Mary] which prompts Bucky to steps away from Mary and reaches for his knife.
Mary: Hey! Jody: Kill her! Use the knife! Kill her now! Sam: Whoa, whoa, whoa. Wait. Hold on a second, [turns to look at Jody] Jody, you… You don’t sound like yourself. Dean (not even looking around):That’s because she’s not herself. Are you?
Oh my poor Sam Dumbchester, on rewatch, this episode did you dirty, I was sucked in by my love of Asa Fox and the whole door thing and the Sammeh! I’m so ashamed. Hands my bitter Sam girl platinum membership card back to the bitter Sam girl club in recognition I am no longer worthy of holding it Jody turning into the red eyed demon is in the running for worst “playing of a different character ever” but it’s up against stiff competition from Casifer, Empty!Castiel, Gestapo!Castiel and gayforpay!Castiel and is mercifully short. My main issue with this demon is there is no real consistency through the different bodies it inhabits. They should all have agreed how to play it imo and I do think Kim goes Disney villain OTT but not enough to cause embarrassment, just would have been better if the performance had been toned down some.
Demon Jody had hoped they would kill their mom “wouldn’t that be a riot?”
Dean (sarcastically): Yeah, super fun
Sam tries to attack Jody and is thrown. Big brother is pissed and tries to attack but is thrown too. Uh, how come the lame demon can fight now?
Anyway, Mary attacks and tries to kill Jody with the demon blade and manages to scratch her arm, but Sam says no and pulls Mary away. .
Mary: What are you doing?! She’s a demon. We kill demons. Sam: No, but she’s Jody.
I like this that Mary doesn’t know you don’t just go around killing people, you try to save them first. 
The demon is bored and claps her hands, and everyone collapses onto the ground and cannot move (where was this kickass power earlier?).  The demon says she’s heard so many stories about the Winchesters, she stands over sam and says, “The idea that he left a meatsuit alive is just so deliciously weak.” Sam gives his “bite me” face.
As for the rest, she’s been inside their heads and starts spilling out secrets – the twins are Asa’s children (I forgot about this detail), Lorraine apparently tried to sabotage Asa’s truck to stop him going out hunting (which is a nice call back to him trying to fix the truck in the episode earlier).  She says Jody fantasized about a life with Asa.  Bucky manages to get up to attack but Jody grabs him and holds him on his knees.
Jody/Jael: And you. Bucky. Brave, brave Bucky. I was there that night. Tell these nice, stupid people what you did. Tell them what you took from me. Asa was mine.
I like this next scene, Sam manages to stand up and start the exorcism before he’s thrown across the room again. Dean picks up where Sam left off, until he’s thrown through a glass door, the twins are next and get pinned to the wall.
Bucky finally confesses that he killed Asa [and the way he’s dramatically thrown to the floor would never have made it into a scene in seasons 1 to 5]. Oh show, weeps for the quality that once was. Season 12 (heavy sigh).
Mary stands up and finishes the exorcism which sends the demon back to hell.
Sam rushes over to help Jody who says, “That… sucked”
[Try re-watching your performance Kim!]
Lorraine: Bucky, what did you do?
They all turn and look at Bucky.
Bucky says they were hunting in the woods for Jael and he wanted to go back and get the angel blade. Asa wanted to keep hunting but Bucky pushed him and Asa fell and cracked his head and died, which I feel kind of sorry for, not like he did it deliberately and he lost his best friend [and lets be real, it’s not the worst thing a supposed “best friend” has done on this show].  It’s a very tragic end for a great hunter (don’t fast forward to 15.20)
Bucky asks what they are going to do to him.
Alicia: Tell everyone, every hunter we meet. They’re gonna know your name, Bucky. Know what you did. Max: You like stories. This is the story everyone’s gonna tell about you. Forever
I guess I get Max and Alicia’s anger, Asa being their dad and all. It’s just tragic all round because I do feel it was an unlucky accident and Bucky clearly misses his best friend.
I like the setup of the funeral pyre, now 3 hunter bodies being burned, Jody, Lorraine and Mary are standing in front of the pyre. Alicia and Max are resting against their car and Dean and Sam are doing the same against baby.  
Lorraine tells Mary she was wrong, “Asa did have a family. He even had kids. I’ve got grandchildren. Suppose I should go meet them.” She walks over to hug Alicia and Max.
Jody and Mary are left at the pyre,
Jody: I don’t know what’s going on between you and your boys, but I gotta tell you, mom to mom, they are good men. Best I’ve ever met. Mary: I know. They’re not the problem.
Jody walks away and leaves Mary on her own, which is Dean’s opportunity, he taps Sam and they both go over to Mary. They ask if she’s okay but Billy appears and says, “She’s really not.” Mary asks who she is and Dean says she’s a reaper that got him back inside.
I would like to have much preferred to have seen Sam’s reaction as well as Mary’s but we don’t get this and it’s a bad choice of angle for me. Billie says Dean owes her one and looks at Mary, “This one. This one right here.”
Billie is still on her “what’s dead should stay dead” kick. She’s a stickler for the laws on that (and never really changes tbh, I don’t really get Billie’s overall arc.)
Mary says she didn’t ask to come back, Billie agrees but says the dead man’s look in Mary’s eyes says she hates it, that she feels she doesn’t fit, like she’s all alone.
Dean: Well, she’s not alone.
Billie (still looking at Mary): Tell me I’m wrong. [Sam and Dean turn to look at Mary and kudos to Jared once again for saying so much with no words as to how he looks at Mary here]
Billy says she’s not here to hurt Mary, “I’m here to offer you mercy. A one-way ticket upstairs, away from all of this.”  [Again poor choice of camera for this scene as we see Dean but not Sam].  Mary asks how it would work.   
Sam: Mom. [My poor boys!] Mary: You just kill me again? Billie: Reapers don’t kill people. Rules. Mary: Well… then… [she looks up at Sam and Dean] Me: Don’t you dare break my boys fragile hearts! Mary: Then I guess you’re just gonna have to wait. Billie: Winchesters… Me: Same tbh Billie Billie: …if you change your mind– if any of you change your minds– you know my name. [she disappears]
Sam asks if this means Mary is coming home. Mary says yeah, but follows up with: Not quite yet. I just need a little more time.
Sam looks disappointed ☹ but he understands
Dean: Can we buy you breakfast at least? Mary: Bacon? Dean: All the bacon. Mary: I would love that.
I love that Dean and Mary can find a common bond through food. Sam hugs Mary as they walk together towards the Impala
Despite a couple of wobbly bits sprinkled here and there and my poor Dumbchester Sammeh, I still really love this episode overall, the good far outweighs the issues I have and I’ll happily re-watch it as a stand-alone MOTW.  I loved the introduction of the witch twins and wish we’d got to see a lot more of them *coughs* and a lot less of other “fan favourite” characters.
It will be interesting where this one will ultimately fall in my definitive list.
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theantagonistsbliss · 4 years ago
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My 2020 thus far..... in terms of girls.
November 15th, 2020
I’d like to start of by summarizing the amount of girls that have been a part of my life this year and have decided to up and leave for one reason or another.
Robyn C - I was casually seeing her from work. It wasn’t anything serious, but it was fun for the time being. I assumed we were going to continue seeing each other until she had to move to Vancouver for school; that was one of the appealing parts of the “relationship” because it would have an inevitable end not because of either of us but because of physical distance being placed....that ended early because she slowly stopped talking to me and started seeing someone else without letting me know. Dope. Found that one out through my roommate who knew for weeks. Stung a bit.
Sydney P - Aaaah yes this one. I simped for this girl really hard. Definitely not worth it though. This is the girlfriend that cheated on me the previous year. We didn’t talk for 6 months after that happened. Until I was an idiot and wanted to catch up and see how she was doing . Gave her a call and chatted for a while. We started texting again. I made it clear though that I didn’t want to hangout, because when we broke up I made it public that I caught her cheating, so it would also look bad on me if we were seen together again...because it was. Eventually I caved and we hungout in person...also one unfortunate night downtown at the clubs before lockdown, a very drunk me, her, and her friend ended up at her place and did some regrettable (But mostly awesome) things. Definitely shouldn’t have, but that night is burned into my memory now. Anyways, we were friendly for some time after that, even open about other people that we potentially wanted to start seeing or dating, and it was fine temporarily. Until she started seeing this guy that sounded awful, from her perspective not just mine. I sucked it up until she was drinking with him one night near my house and sent me DIRECTLY multiple snaps of them together kissing and what not, the day after I told her that I needed to take a step back from our friendship because I still had feelings for her. Huuuuuge mistake on my part for trying to keep her around and give her another chance. I clearly thought I saw something in her that wasn’t there, and she wanted me around as a friend. Which honestly I understand, I am a GREAT friend. Most of my good friends are female because of how open I am with them and how comfortable I am talking about my feelings. She felt that too, and wanted me to stay that way. But It would have been disingenuous to myself to ignore the feelings that I still had that she clearly didn’t. And after telling her that we CAN’T be friends anymore for those reasons, she disagreed and said I was “running away from the issue”. Which I’m going to chalk up to her wishful thinking, as she would assume me swallowing those feelings would have been better? I don’t know. All I know is that she is still with this dude and I shouldn’t have anything to do with her anymore. She wasn’t THE reason, but she was definitely a solid variable for me to leave Kelowna as I felt the need to physically distance myself from that kind of one sided toxic friendship. 
Katie B - Didn’t actually date her or anything this year, but she was my friend. And in my world where I was miserable and felt the need to move back home to save money during my last year of school because of the Corona Virus Pandemic, I thought it would be comforting to have a friend that I still messaged regularly to be waiting for me when I got home. But surprise surprise, we hangout one time and it felt...off. She was seeing some guy that hit one her when we were seeing each other, but to my knowledge it still wasn’t anything serious. BUT, she eventually told me that she was intentionally distancing herself from me to respect her now BOYFRIEND...when wee months before she was still sending me pictures of her ass while they were “dating”. To some point I can respect her decision but holy fuck does that timing suck for me. Thinking that I will have a friend in this tough time of isolation where there are few people I actually want to see in my home town. Jokes on me though, #BadLuckBrian
Abby M - for clarification, I never dated this girl. Not one time. Thank God for that though. We simply just messaged each other for years, talking fairly regularly. Because we never lived in the same city for the majority of our friendship we seemed to overshare a lot and be a lot more open with each other, since it was seemingly risk free. So EVENTUALLY, since I had to move back home we got to hangout...like one time. And previously we both said we had a bit of a crush on the other. We would not hangout again for weeks, maybe months, though I have had a lot of free time, same as her seeing as she lost her job and was making mediocre money from her mediocre only fans...Not the best romantic candidate haha, whoops. Anyways, I kept asking to hangout and eventually she said “no can do, I have a boyfriend”, which would be fine...if she didn’t lead me on for months. She said things like “Well I kept calling you my best friend, I put you in the friend zone”, buuuut simultaneously would send me nudes on the regular. Strange girl, strange thing. I called her out for leading me on and how that’s not okay and she simply just said I was simping for her haha. Sorry girl, I would NOT pay for your OF. Strange “Friendship” indeed. Truthfully I do miss some of the talks that we had when I wasn’t in the same city as her. When there was no real reason for us to be anything more than pen pals to each other. I think I learned something from this one. 
Makayla M - This one is the freshest. Scene, I’m still living in Kelowna. I match with her on Tinder, she seems like a cool girl. She wants to meet up for a drink. I tell her yes but I don’t want to waste her time and that I’m moving back home for approximately 5 months. She says that is unfortunate but still wants to meet because she thinks I'm a cool guy as well, at least over text/snap. We have a drink and hangout, its great, she’s great, we really get along. Nothing happens though, no kisses or anything, we both just go home. A few days later we hangout again, this time doing the “Netflix and Chill” thing. We have sex, its great, its fun, I don’t regret it. I leave in a couple days, on the night before I leave I’m having drinks with my roommates, end up going to her house instead of finding my way home, we have sex again. Still great. She's great. I leave the next morning. We ended up talking everyday for the next 4 months. I thought to myself “damn, she might actually still be into me by the time I get back!”. Which maybe was naïve of me. A few days after I told her that I found a new place and roommate in Kelowna and can actually come back she goes...quiet...We were talking pretty much everyday before this, so it was weird that she was being a lot more quiet than usual. It was like that for about a week. I was worried, maybe something had actually happened to her? I was about to straight up ask her roommate if something had happened to her of if I was just being ghosted. After about a week of that I messaged her asking if she was okay, suggesting maybe that she started seeing someone? She didn’t respond for another 2 days, but when she did she said “Hi! Sorry, I’ve been super busy with work. And yeah I’ve kind of started seeing someone”. Which for one, she works at a liquor store, not sure how busy she could be but oh well, and second ouch my heart. She definitely didn’t owe me anything, since we only really hungout 3 times, but I absolutely developed feelings for this girl over the 4 months of us talking everyday. We would send each other lude snaps, and cute messages about how we wish the other person was within reach so we could cuddle and give each other smooches & do cute things for the other. I was in it man, I really wanted this to be a possibility when I inevitably moved back. And then, once I am only 1 month from moving back she starts seeing someone else. I am immensely disappointed. Again, we didn’t owe anything to each other, but God I was into giving her more than she deserved. All I said to her when she sent that was “oh yeah I kind of figured, well good luck with that”. That was the last thing I said to her after months of sending cute nothings to one another. Disappointing is how I would describe that potential relationship. Right now I really want to message her, and let her know how much this upsets me that I can’t message her everyday like before anymore, and I know she will say “we can still talk and be friends!” but dammit I don’t want to be her friend. I want more than that. And I will not do what a younger version of me would do; say “Yeah I’d like that” and suffer silently when said person would get the benefit of having me as a great friend while I would be struggling to keep my composure around them. I’m still not sure if I should keep her on socials. I think it is still too fresh to think clearly about it. 
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il-allora · 5 years ago
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Oversharing II
Check out  @reynaruina ‘s Ponytail Dib AU
CW: Mental health, depression, dub con, alcoholism. If it isn’t your shit, don’t go there, babe.
Fucking hell… “ZIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIM!!!” he screamed from his window and ran to put pants on as the ground shook under his feet, the sound was loud and ominous enough that the neighbors stopped screaming at each other and just started screaming in general confusion. Dib sighed, looking at the time on his watch, “Motherf— Ugh!” he complained shoving his feet into his boots and yanking his coat from the kitchen chair. He slammed the door behind him and heard the entrance mirror he had turned fall and break as another tremor shook the building. Shit.
He sighed and wondered what was he doing again as he walked down the stairs, revising his pockets until he finally found his flask and taking a swig from it. What was the fucking point? He was gonna save the city and the world again, for everyone to ignore what happened with the guy with the skin condition and the… Fucking. Colossal. Robot. Heading downtown… In any other context, that would be cool as hell, he caught himself thinking.
Shaking his head to clear his thoughts and taking another swig of cheap gin, he put the flask away and took his car keys. Revised the trunk where his world-saving-gear was in since the incident with the zombies. He could use the extra power interruption system he had upstairs, but this would make due… Dib sighed, climbed on his car and turned it on, “I told him I didn’t wanna fucking do this this fucking week,” he swiveled in traffic and over the sidewalks, people cursing at him as he apologized apathetically at the insults and ugly handsigns… He should just go there and wreck his own bit of havoc by letting Zim have an extra minute of glory punching buildings or whatever he was doing.
Parking his car on a corner he took the backpack with the Swollen Eyes symbol and said, “Let’s do this,” against his every impulse he walked towards the robot as people ran away in hoards pressing and pushing him, he even felt a kick at the knee (what the hell??). Once he was close enough he put his digital signature detection googles and saw most commands for the robot were at the top… “Fucking great, space boy, not cliché at all.”
Pushing the googles up he ran for cover against a hydrant, then against the piece of a building, inching his way towards the gigantic, stupid thing. Behind cars, behind debris, jumping and dodging rocks of all sized the robot seemed to be kicking around undecided on where to go. Until he found the stairs and ran to climb up almost losing a foot as the alien seemed to notice him and try to shake him off, good time to use the tensors at his trousers to climb, awesome… It’s great to remind yourself why you’re broke by buying everything you need for confrontation with an alien invader. Just as he wanted his Saturday to end.
Adrenalin cursed through him as he put a little laser robot he built to burn through the metal, pushing his goggles down over his glasses, he waited while the robot… Danced? Hm. He climbed in and then found high ground at the air vents, taking a go pro strapped to his head along with a flashlight, he crawled up and down and over to the next room, then the next and as he thought he was lost in the stupid thing.
Finally falling through to a dark room filled with machines… Huh… Control room. He looked around, recovering as easily as ever from the fall and forgetting how bothered he was by this whole matter for a second as he fiddled around and rigged the computer with a little self destruction command he’d learned from his times abducted at Zim’s house.
Cautiously walking to the door, he bumped into GIR, “Destroy intruder!!” he said with his eyes turning red and Dib prepared for anything the crazy thing had in store, before he could know it had climbed to his chest and started ticking him, “HAHAHHAHAHHA, fuck, stop!! STOP!!!” running down the hall as he could in the middle of the weirdest, scratchiest tickle fight he’d had ever in his life. He fell on through the door by the end, belly on the cold metallic floor as the little robot climbed off his back “Well done, GIR!! Now, strap him!!!”.
Dib growled and panted as GIR screamed, “Yes, Master! CANDYYY!!” Then from his head he shot sticky candy that quickly had him stuck to the floor. Dib sighed again, somehow there was a part of him that regretted leaving his apartment, while the rest of him screamed at it ‘if you didn’t the world would be doomed’, ‘fuck the world, the news will be that there was a hurricane downtown anyway’ said the apathetic side and he looked up at Zim defiantly, “LET ME GO NOW, ZIM!!” to which the alien laughed. “Oh, I knew that if I made enough noise The Dib would come to the rescue of this pathetic, little rock… I KNEW YOU COULDN’T RESIST THE CHALLENGE!!!” Dib sighed and pressed his forehead to the floor, lifting it quickly thankful that it hadn’t stuck to the floor…
He narrowed his eyes at Zim and said, “You won’t win, Zim! It’s already time you realized that you don’t stand a chance against Earth!” the blade hidden in his sleeve came out and he saw through the candy as Zim kept chatting. God that guy loved to chat about his grandioseness…
“You make Zim laugh, Dib stink! HA!” he laughed sitting back at the pilot seat sparing one last glance at Dib as he struggled against his ties, “Now at least you get a first row seat to watch me burn down this city and unleash doom on my path to your preseedent’s back yard!” he laughed manically as the robot stumbled, “Oh… Computer!! What was that?!” he screamed. The AI was blocked out when Dib unleashed the virtual self destruction. He finished freeing his feet, at which GIR applauded cheerfully as if he were performing a magic trick.
Dib rose an eyebrow at it, and then jumped back as a leg from Zim’s pack punctured the floor before him, “I told you, you won’t-!” the ray came from nowhere and missed him by an inch, before he could brace himself he was thrown against the wall and pushed up by his collar. The gin he’d had was enough as not to mind the pain too much, so he swallowed thickly against the pressure and he had seldom seen Zim so close. They looked at each other for a long moment and Dib was having a rough time not liking being manhandled by his rival, but alas, fight goes both ways. He punched Zim in the face and he fell back with Dib on all fours on top of him. Two fundamental notes on irkens were that: 1) They were strong and 2) They knew how to make a fight.
The knee to his stomach was almost sweet and he doubled over, falling on the mechanical legs trapped under him. So they stayed there on the floor, literally rolling punches until the both of them were battered and somehow Dib felt less angry about his life choices. He could do this all his life, he was good at this, the world needed him.
Soon enough Zim limped away after breaking a window as he lifted and pushed Dib almost through it, the robot was quickly going down as Zim had GIR lift him by the pack to safety and as the ground approached Dib counted to three, made a jump of faith and rolled on glass and tough broken asphalt as the robot collapsed on the ground. 
Panting and pressing at his bloody nose, Dib limped a few blocks away, feeling his coat sticking to his arms and holding his belly as it was still queasy. The robot exploded to bits and sent him rolling to the ground again, he covered his head as the expansive wave broke the window of every building around him.
Zim is definitely why he can’t have nice things… He wanted a peaceful Saturday night wallowing in self pity and having a shameful orgasm or sleeping…
Groaning and grunting, Dib finally got to his feet. Leaning heavily against a building and walking down the street. He didn’t even bother looking back, he unstuck his coat and then noticed that his shirt had been cut at the front… What the hell was with Zim and shirt breaking?! He sighed and covered himself as well as he could, leaving the coat and backpack in the trunk. 
After a while he finally plopped down on the driver’s seat in a haze and saw the parking ticket on the windshield… Of course…. This fucking city… He put the car on drive and went back home. Earth’s savior needed to get blackout drunk right fucking now.
On the other side of town, in a strange little house there was an alien smiling at the screen showing Dib walking out of his car and the door of the vehicle falling as he apathetically walked back inside the building.
Zim hissed as the restoration serum pumped into his system, “I don’t understand, Dib-stink, you deserve this awful world! Why don’t you take it??! You’re capable of it as the best irken invaders I’ve ever met!!” he said as his antennae fell and he sighed helplessly as the strong warrior of Earth walked out of sight, “I could make you the President of Earth if you let me… You’d be deserving, my Dib” he said frustrated balling his fists at his sides and feeling twice as defeated, ironically by the same man.
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sodalitefully · 5 years ago
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8 for Sluff please, love your account
8 - “Please, stop smiling at me like that. I’m not sure what will happen if you keep doing that.”
Thank you! Another anon also asked for 8/sluff so this is for both of you, thanks for being patient! I started this a month ago and then got totally stuck on how to finish it 😓
Duff and Slash both overshare when they’re wasted… 
~~~~
You want to know how Slash and I got to be such good friends? Well, the first thing I gotta tell you is that he’s one of the nicest, coolest people I know, and he doesn’t deserve his shitty reputation, got it?  The second thing, is that I was blown away when I first heard him play guitar and I wasn’t about to let a musical genius like that walk out of my life. 
But the truth is (just between you and me, right?), there’s a third, final, and very important reason.  You see… after Slash, Steven, the girls, and I met, we hung out, jammed a little, then of course proceeded to get absolutely obliterated.  And that’s when it happened: Drunk-Duff met Drunk-Slash and the world would never be the same. 
We’re the drunken dream-team.  Smashed, sauced, and sloshed soulmates.  The Dynamic Duo of gettin’ gazebo-ed. 
You get what I’m trying to say. 
It works out real well because our tolerance is about the same, and we both tend to be happy, affectionate drunks.  We’re partners in crime for all kinds of insane intoxicated shenanigans, but we’ll also look after each other, you know? Or try to at least, hah.  
Last night though? Things were a little different.  Slash got a head start on me, so instead of Drunk-Slash-and-Duff, it was Drunk-Slash and Just-Barely-Tipsy-Duff.  Which was no problem, it was great! Er, it was totally fine! I mean –
… 
Okay… there’s something I didn’t tell you about me and Slash.  It’s true that Drunk-Slash-and-Duff are the ultimate drinking buddy power couple. But sober? That’s another story.
Don’t get me wrong, we’re still best friends! Contrary to popular belief, we do hang out and do stuff besides drinking and drugs.  But there’s one key difference that even Slash never knew about, and that is that Sober-Duff has, well, a huge fuckin’ crush on Slash.
Hey, don’t fucking judge me, dude! …He’s just a really awesome guy, okay? And good looking.  I dig the hair.
Ahem.
Anyway, it could be a real problem when we were both sober, because I really had be on my toes to make sure he didn’t catch me staring or anything, you know?  It’s like, I couldn’t relax because then I might start to slip up and that could mess up everything: our friendship, the band… man, I don’t even want to think about it.  
But when Slash was drunk, I had nothing to worry about!  He never noticed when I zoned out staring at his ass – thank god, because it’s happened a lot.  And Drunk-Slash-and-Duff might be all about the platonic cuddling, but on these special occasions I get to appreciate Slash at his clingiest in a more romantic-kinda-way.  I also get to appreciate how giggly he gets: I’m a sap, I know, but just seeing him smile makes me feel like I just did a whole line of shots so whenever this happens I always pull out all the stops trying to keep him in good humor.
So there I was, telling Slash every lame joke I could think of, pulling stupid faces, generally acting like a total goofball and trying to make him laugh.  And it was working!  Slash was a giggly mess, and I figured it was time to give us both a break.  I watched him compose himself from the corner of my eye as I chugged the rest of my beer.  Even in the dim light of the bar, I managed to get lost in his dark eyes as he looked at me with an exasperated smirk.
“Duff! Stop smiling at me like that!” He whined, and oops, I guess I let my gaze linger a little too long.
“What? Whyyy?” I pitched my voice up to match his tone.
“Because…” He dropped into a drunkenly serious whisper. “…I’m not sure what’ll happen if you keep doing that.” 
Wait.  What?
Was he saying what I thought he was saying?  It’s not just me, right?  It definitely sounded like he was… implying something.
But before I could ask him what he meant, another round of drinks appeared on the table and Slash was back to his cheery, thirsty self in the blink of an eye.  I gotta admit, I was just as distracted by the booze – I was trying to catch up, after all – so I forgot about what he said until about twenty minutes later. 
I was back on my bullshit and better than ever – I managed to get Slash to laugh just as he was about to take a swig of his beer, he snorted into the glass and suds flew everywhere!  Both of us were still laughing our heads off as he whacked me in the arm and tried to find a napkin to clean himself up.  Once he got the foam off his face I was determined to make him do it again: every time he tried to take a sip I’d repeat the same stupid punchline and he’d have to quickly duck away from his glass to avoid getting beer up his nose.
After my fourth or fifth attempt, Slash suddenly bounced up from his seated position to kneel on the seat of the booth so I was forced to look up at his face as he poked a scolding finger into my chest. 
“I thought I told you to knock it off!”
I just laughed, it was hard to take him seriously when he was pouting like that.  “I dunno what you’re talking about!” 
“Nuh-uh, don’t play dumb because I know I told you to quit it!  I’m jus’tryna get drunk here and you won’t stop distracting me!”
“Well then make me,” I teased.
For a split second, I thought that Slash lost his balance and was falling into me, so I put my hands up to catch him.  But then, I felt his mouth on my lips.
I was stunned into helplessness as his tongue thrust between my teeth and overwhelmed my mouth.  I’d wanted this for so long that I couldn’t understand it; the kiss was deep and fast and it was over before I could bring myself to lean into him and suck the taste of whiskey and cheap beer off his lips.
As I tried to catch my breath, I realized that my hands were still planted on Slash’s chest, I was practically groping him.  I tried to slide my arms out of the way but at that moment, Slash decided to swing one knee over my legs so that he was straddling my thighs.  He sat in my lap and scooted all the way up until his ass was right over my crotch, then put his arms on my shoulders for balance, trapping me in place with my hards grabbing his tits and my thighs glued together so he might not notice my dick starting to poke him in the ass.
I stared up at him with my eyes wide and my mouth hanging open, wondering if I was dreaming… And if I wasn’t, would he remember this the next day?  Would he still want to kiss me when the liquor wore off, or would he laugh it off like the rest of the bullshit he does when he’s wasted?
Slash seemed oblivious to the questions racing through my head.  He just stared down at me with a little smile, and then leaned down again to plant another deliberate, chaste kiss.  
“Yeah, now you’re quiet.  Where’s that grin, huh? Did you think trying to get a rise out of me wouldn’t have any consequences?” His tone was smug but his expression was still affectionate. 
“Slash, what –“ 
“Such a tease, acting all cute like that when you know what it does to me.  Fuck, even when you’re being a pain you’re still so sweet it’s unfair.” 
“What – What it does??” 
“Were you trying to get me to confess? ‘Cause I was trying to keep it to myself, all right?  I didn’t want to screw everything up but, y’know, it’s hard when you’re always smiling at me like that.” He bit his lip, hesitating.  “And I’m already in your lap, so I guess I might as well…” He leaned down until his lips were brushing my ear, and whispered, “This is fun… but I’d rather be back at the hotel, just the two of us.” 
Forget dreaming, I thought I’d died and gone to heaven.
“Then let’s go,” I breathed, and Slash looked at me like he was genuinely surprised.
“Really? You want that? With me?”
“I’ve wanted that practically since we met, are you kidding?”  I finally worked up the balls to stretch up and kiss him.  He eagerly returned the kiss and then he slid out of the booth, tugging me after him as we hurried out of the bar. 
And the rest, as they say, is history!  I have to keep some secrets, don’t I?
Huh, I guess I was lying before when I said the third reason was the final reason.  Actually, telling that story reminded me of a few more reasons if you know what I mean, hah!
Hey, you’ll keep all this between us, right? Yeah? Good, because I gotta go – Slash looks like he’s about to pass out on the pool table, I think it’s time to take him home… 
~~~~
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