#and YES this is going on my fucking star trek blog BECAUSE the more i read the more i reach back into the history of my own writing

[sapphosewrites]

AUGUSTO BOAL Give us back our torture house

In a successful plea to the Rio Chamber of Deputies, Brazil's most famous agit-prop dramatist called for the conservation of the apparatus of torment

...

Among these seven mastodons, there was one who tried to justify everything with bureaucratic arguments. While he was giving me electric shocks on the pau-de-amra, from which I hung naked, upside down, he said: 'You will forgive me, yeah? But I am torturing you because it's on my schedule, see? I don't have anything personal against you, honest. I'm even a fan of your plays. I haven't seen any, but I like them all, see? You know how it is, yeah? Here you do what you're told to, see? Now, you know, it's a funny old world, things change. One day it might be you who's on top and me underneath, yeah? Now if it came to that, right, you're obviously not about to forget that I tortured you, fair enough, but it was just the luck of the draw, see? I tortured you because it was on my schedule.'

...

The leader of the team, for instance, did not know why I was there, as the team that did the torturing was not the same as the team that did the kidnapping. They were specialised: each knew how to carry out his own particular crafts. Some made instruments of torture; others paid our country's foreign debt. All were acting in concert against a single victim — the Brazilian people.

It was then, when the pain was most intense, that I tried to engineer a break in the torment and I asked: 'What is it that you want me to confess?' I wanted a break but I had decided never to confess anything - and I never did. But I wanted to buy time, so I asked him: 'What is it you want me to confess?'

At first the dinosaur did not know what to answer. He didn't know why he was torturing me -just that it was on his schedule. But the leader of the kidnap team had given him a list of accusations, written on a scrap of paper. He scanned the piece of paper and read out the first accusation: 'Boal, when you go abroad, you defame Brazil!' Me, defame Brazil! When I never tire of extolling the natural beauties of Baia da Guanabara. 'In what way do I defame Brazil?' I asked, hanging naked on the pau-da-arara. Reading on, the boor answered: 'You defame it because, when you travel, you tell people abroad that there is torture in Brazil.'

It did not register with the blockhead that he was doing just that, he was torturing me. The situation was so unreal, so funambulatory, that I laughed. When he saw me laughing, at first, he could not believe it — no-one laughs when they are hanging from the pau-da-arara. Then he became indignant, and turned the crank to increase the electric charge and asked why I was laughing. I answered that his present activity justified my past statements: in Brazil people are tortured, methodically and cruelly, and I was the living proof of it, strung up by my ankles, there, at that very moment. In one of the few moments of lucidity of his entire life, he thought, he thought very hard and ended up agreeing: 'You're right. I am torturing you. But since you are an artist, since you are well-known and you appear on television from time to time, I am torturing you, I give you that, but I am torturing you with respect.'

This episode in my life is part of me. I would like to go back to that cellar, where my only companion was a mouse, who was even more frightened than I was; I would like to see those instruments of torture again, those deadly but efficient tools. To revisit that building. I would like to re-see my past, to re-feel it, to re-live it. But the building, where episodes such as this took place has been destroyed. In its place, in Sao Paulo, they have constructed a supermarket. They have destroyed the memory. And without memory, imagination is impossible - without remembering, one does not imagine!

Without the past, the future would not exist and we would live like animals, ruminating on the present like cows. Let us not be cows. In Sao Paulo, because the memory of past atrocities has been destroyed, prisoners were cruelly and premeditatedly cut down in Carandiru. The prisoners launched a revolt, the chief of police gave them an ultimatum, and then ordered the raid on the prison and the slaughter which resulted, coldly conscious of the crime he was committing. On a lovely Sunday evening, the horrors of the dictatorship came back to haunt us.

I appeal to my colleagues who are, like me, involved in the business of making laws, just as I used to make bread. I appeal to them to allow me to continue existing, so that a part of myself survives my death. The Vila Isabel house holds the memories of hundreds of men and women, it holds many stories, it holds History. Living History. Many of the men and women who were imprisoned there are today in these galleries watching us, just as I am on this platform looking at you. Those who are here today, they and I, we remember, and the past lives in our memory, which is part of our being.

[mostlysignssomeportents]

Dinkclump Linkdump

I'm on tour with my new novel The Bezzle! Catch me TONIGHT in LA (Saturday night, with Adam Conover), Seattle (Monday, with Neal Stephenson), then Portland, Phoenix and more!

Some Saturday mornings, I look at the week's blogging and realize I have a lot more links saved up than I managed to write about this week, and then I do a linkdump. There've been 14 of these, and this is number 15:

https://pluralistic.net/tag/linkdump/

Attentive readers will note that this isn't Saturday. You're right. But I'm on a book tour and every day is shatterday, because damn, it's grueling and I'm not the spry manchild who took Little Brother on the road in 2008 – I'm a 52 year old with two artificial hips. Hence: an out-of-cycle linkdump. Come see me on tour and marvel at my verticality!

https://pluralistic.net/2024/02/16/narrative-capitalism/#bezzle-tour

Best thing I read this week, hands down, was Ryan Broderick's Garbage Day piece, "AI search is a doomsday cult":

https://www.garbageday.email/p/ai-search-doomsday-cult

Broderick makes so many excellent points in this piece. First among them: AI search sucks, but that's OK, because no one is asking for AI search. This only got more true later in the week when everyone's favorite spicy autocomplete accidentally loaded the James Joyce module:

https://arstechnica.com/information-technology/2024/02/chatgpt-alarms-users-by-spitting-out-shakespearean-nonsense-and-rambling/

(As Matt Webb noted, Chatbots have slid rapidly from Star Trek (computers give you useful information in a timely fashion) to Douglas Adams (computers spout hostile, impenetrable nonsense at you):

https://interconnected.org/home/2024/02/21/adams

But beyond the unsuitability of AI for search results and beyond the public's yawning indifference to AI-infused search, Broderick makes a more important point: AI search is about summarizing web results so you don't have to click links and read the pages yourself.

If that's the future of the web, who the fuck is going to write those pages that the summarizer summarizes? What is the incentive, the business-model, the rational explanation for predicting a world in which millions of us go on writing web-pages, when the gatekeepers to the web have promised to rig the game so that no one will ever visit those pages, or read what we've written there, or even know it was us who wrote the underlying material the summarizer just summarized?

If we stop writing the web, AIs will have to summarize each other, forming an inhuman centipede of botshit-ingestion. This is bad news, because there's pretty solid mathematical evidence that training a bot on botshit makes it absolutely useless. Or, as the authors of the paper – including the eminent cryptographer Ross Anderson – put it, "using model-generated content in training causes irreversible defects":

https://arxiv.org/abs/2305.17493

This is the mathematical evidence for Jathan Sadowski's "Hapsburg AI," or, as the mathematicians call it, "The Curse of Recursion" (new band-name just dropped).

But if you really have your heart set on living in a ruined dystopia dominated by hostile artificial life-forms, have no fear. As Hamilton Nolan writes in "Radical Capital," a rogues gallery of worker-maiming corporations have asked a court to rule that the NLRB can't punish them for violating labor law:

https://www.hamiltonnolan.com/p/radical-capital

Trader Joe’s, Amazon, Starbucks and SpaceX have all made this argument to various courts. If they prevail, then there will be no one in charge of enforcing federal labor law. Yes, this will let these companies go on ruining their workers' lives, but more importantly, it will give carte blanche to every other employer in the land. At one end of this process is a boss who doesn't want to recognize a union – and at the other end are farmers dying of heat-stroke.

The right wing coalition that has put this demand before the court has all sorts of demands, from forced birth to (I kid you not), the end of recreational sex:

https://www.lawyersgunsmoneyblog.com/2024/02/getting-rid-of-birth-control-is-a-key-gop-agenda-item-for-the-second-trump-term

That coalition is backed by ultra-rich monopolists who want wreck the nation that their rank-and-file useful idiots want to wreck your body. These are the monopoly cheerleaders who gave us the abomination that is the Pharmacy Benefit Manager – a useless intermediary that gets to screw patients and pharmacists – and then let PBMs consolidate and merge with pharmacy monopolists.

One such inbred colossus is Change Healthcare, a giant PBM that is, in turn, a mere tendril of United Healthcare, which merged the company with Optum. The resulting system – held together with spit and wishful thinking – has access to the health records of a third of Americans and processes 15 billion prescriptions per day.

Or rather, it did process that amount – until the all-your-eggs-in-one-badly-maintained basket strategy failed on Wednesday, and Change's systems went down due to an unspecified "cybersecurity incident." In the short term, this meant that tens of millions of Americans who tried to refill their prescriptions were told to either pay cash or come back later (if you don't die first). That was the first shoe dropping. The second shoe is the medical records of a third of the country.

Don't worry, I'm sure those records are fine. After all, nothing says security like "merging several disparate legacy IT systems together while simultaneously laying off half your IT staff as surplus to requirements and an impediment to extracting a special dividend for the private equity owners who are, of course, widely recognized as the world's greatest information security practitioners."

Look, not everything is terrible. Some computers are actually getting better. Framework's user-serviceable, super-rugged, easy-to-repair, powerful laptops are the most exciting computers I've ever owned – or broken:

https://pluralistic.net/2022/11/13/graceful-failure/#frame

Now you can get one for $500!

https://frame.work/blog/first-framework-laptop-16-shipments-and-a-499-framework

And the next generation is turning our surprisingly well, despite all our worst efforts. My kid – now 16! – and I just launched our latest joint project, "The Sushi Chronicles," a small website recording our idiosyncratic scores for nearly every sushi restaurant in Burbank, Glendale, Studio City and North Hollywood:

https://sushichronicles.org/

This is the record of two years' worth of Daughter-Daddy sushi nights that started as a way to get my picky eater to try new things and has turned into the highlight of my week. If you're in the area and looking for a nice piece of fish, give it a spin (also, we belatedly realized that we've never reviewed our favorite place, Kuru Kuru in the CVS Plaza on North Hollywood Way – we'll be rectifying that soon).

And yes, we have a lavishly corrupt Supreme Court, but at least now everyone knows it. Glenn Haumann's even set up a Gofundme to raise money to bribe Clarence Thomas (now deleted, alas):

https://www.gofundme.com/f/pzhj4q-the-clarence-thomas-signing-bonus-fund-give-now

The funds are intended as a "signing bonus" in the event that Thomas takes up John Oliver on his offer of a $2.4m luxury RV and $1m/year for life if he'll resign from the court:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GE-VJrdHMug

This is truly one of Oliver's greatest bits, showcasing his mastery over the increasingly vital art of turning abstruse technical issues into entertainment that negates the performative complexity used by today's greatest villains to hide their misdeeds behind a Shield of Boringness (h/t Dana Clare).

The Bezzle is my contribution to turning abstruse scams into a high-impact technothriller that pierces that Shield of Boringness. The key to this is to master exposition, ignoring the (vastly overrated) rule that one must "show, not tell." Good exposition is hard to do, but when it works, it's amazing (as anyone who's read Neal Stephenson's 1,600-word explanation of how to eat Cap'n Crunch cereal in Cryptonomicon can attest). I wrote about this for Mary Robinette Kowal's "My Favorite Bit" this week:

https://maryrobinettekowal.com/journal/my-favorite-bit/my-favorite-bit-cory-doctorow-talks-about-the-bezzle/

Of course, an undisputed master of this form is Adam Conover, whose Adam Ruins Everything show helped invent it. Adam is joining me on stage in LA tomorrow night at Vroman's at 5:30PM, to host me in a book-tour event for my novel The Bezzle:

https://www.vromansbookstore.com/Cory-Doctorow-discusses-The-Bezzle

If you'd like an essay-formatted version of this post to read or share, here's a link to it on pluralistic.net, my surveillance-free, ad-free, tracker-free blog:

https://pluralistic.net/2024/02/23/gazeteer/#out-of-cycle

Image: Peter Craven (modified) https://commons.wikimedia.org/wiki/File:Aggregate_output_%287637833962%29.jpg

CC BY 2.0 https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/2.0/deed.en

[simptasia]

Tell me all about LOST all I know is from Dane Cook

that is. such a funny sentence

aw shucks, its tempting, but i don't wanna give ya spoilers. and there are truly things in lost that must be experienced by your own flesh

...yes im aware of what my blog is like

so i guess i'll give a vague spoiler free overview

so. a group of plane crash survivors find themselves on a mysterious island and have to deal with the strange happenings + their weight of their individual traumas

the show is serialized and one ep more or less flows into another, so literally no ep can be skipped (no matter what anybody says) or else you'll miss something

its a large ensemble cast, ranging from the 13 to 20s range, all in all i think theres like 35 main characters

the show follows a flashback structure, each episode dedicated itself to a main plot on the island intercut with flashbacks to one character. we call these centric episodes. eg. this is a jack centric episode. sometimes an ep will have multiple characters have flashbacks in one ep. while this show didn't originate the concept of a large cast or flashback storytelling, it did popularize it in the early 2000s. so a lot of post 2004 shows wanted to be lost so bad and it shows

at first lost was a survival show but they gloss over this very quickly and its more about the weird shit going on. as time goes on, plots and mysteries stack up. this is to create intrigue, as the shows main focus is an endless parade of character studies. with the added bonus of some cool and twisty shit going on too

but because lost had so much plot, over time it got accused of being confusing and convoluted and Not Answering Questions and well. your mileage may vary. but i think its confusing if you watch it too slowly. like, it aired over a 6 year period, no wonder people got confused. its better to watch nowadays, way easier to handle

the genre of lost is: drama mystery action paranormal sci fi romance with a dash of comedy. lost is full of the saddest fucks you'll ever meet but the show contains enough levity and great colouring to make it not a huge misery fest

pretty decent racial diversity. next to no LGBT rep. more women than the average tv show. then and now

the score FUCKS

not a single bad actor in this entire show, the performances on display are fucking outstanding. and every emotion is like up to 11, which is great for my autistic brain

for those of you who find sex scenes to be tedious, i have a bit of trivia for ya: all sex in LOST happens off screen. not a single sex scene to be found. pre sex, yes, post sex, yes. making out, yes. but sex itself? footage not found. i'm neutral on the concept, i just thought that was something to point out

i highly recommend lost to, like, anybody. ever. its a masterpiece of television. even the low points are better than most shows. sometimes i take lost for granted and then i watch any other drama series and im like "oh right, lost is incredibly good"

its my third favourite show. and thats only cuz star trek and doctor who exist, and nobody is beating those fuckers

anyways do you like to see beautiful people cry and scream but it isn't cringe?* well, i've got a show for you! *okay there is some cringe. as a treat. the leading man of this show has the social grace of a cold pancake (affectionate)

thank you for your time

[mylittleredgirl]

20 questions for fic writers

tagged by @geneeste. :) i may have done this one before, but tumblr blog search was traditionally unhelpful and i have several very important things i should be doing, so here we are <3

1. How many works do you have on Ao3? 219

2. What’s your total Ao3 word count? 655,471

3. What fandoms do you write for?

stargate atlantis is the runaway lead, then sg-1, 90s/00s treks, the x-files, and a grab bag of other things. only two fics so far for m*a*s*h but the forecast looks good!

4. What are your top five fics by kudos?

no sooner met (star trek voyager, j/c, eight years of friends-to-lovers in 5k or less)

career day (stargate sg-1, clone!sam/jack, damn that sure was a choice to go back to high school amirite)

next chapter (the good place, chidi/eleanor, the intimacy of reading)

first date (star trek voyager, j/c, falling in love again)

occupational hazards (the good place, chidi/eleanor, eleanor would rather not be the architect)

5. Do you respond to comments?

eventually!!!! i tend to keep nice ones on my home page for a while to cheer me up and then sometimes they get buried. i wake up nights like "damn the good place fandom really went all out with amazing comments on that random fic in like 2018 and i never replied," so maybe i need to go through my inbox and belatedly clear my cosmic debts.

6. What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

twilight (stargate atlantis, sheppard/weir, what if john didn't break the cycle). strong on style but real weak on comfort.

7. What’s the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

weaving loose ends (stargate sg-1, sam/jack) ends with a wedding! in twenty years of writing romance fic, that has maybe only happened once?

8. Do you get hate on fics?

not yet! but the year is young.

a fic of mine did cause a dramatic fandom schism once, in the dancing with the stars fandom no less. a splinter fan group created in exile! a mod claiming to be personal friends with the stars! everybody storming out and then blocking each other! so my fic did cause hate, but somehow i personally escaped unscathed. i didn't even get blocked. (lesson: in some spaces, rpf is encouraged until They Fuck. second lesson: if you start a fire and then stay very quiet, everyone forgets about you.)

9. Do you write smut? If so, what kind?

i do!! i guess!! but i'm struggling with it right now and it's giving me a complex. and "what kind" is like......... vanilla het fic for the most part tbh. gauzy curtain vibes, even. basically, i have to really sit and think about whether to rate something M or E, you know?

10. Do you write crossovers? What’s the craziest one you’ve written?

nope!

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

nope!

12. Have you ever had a fic translated? 

yes, but not since the x-files days. rip geocities webrings we salute you for your years of service.

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before?

no, but i think i'd like to! passing chapters back and forth sleepover style like "haha write your way out of THIS" would be fun. (or collaborating in a more mundane way, i guess....)

14. What’s your all time favorite ship?

john sheppard/elizabeth weir (stargate atlantis). first fic in the tag and i'm still fuckin there. three years on tv and a lifetime in my goddamn brain.

15. What’s a WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will?

realistically, i'm feeling pretty down on the chances that i'll ever finish ANY wip that's longer than 20k, but the two long ones withering on the vine that i'd like to finish are a sam/jack sg1 episodic soulmate fic and "what if janeway went undercover with the maquis instead of tuvok: the novel."

16. What are your writing strengths?

stealing one of geneeste's answers because "character complexity" is a good one! i don't feel satisfied with any fic unless i feel like i have learned something new about a character, or highlighted it in a new way.

my more specific strength, according to @coraclavia, is missing-scene fics that weave through an entire series canon to make a thesis statement (they are In Love).

17. What are your writing weaknesses?

😭 i can't write anything long 😭 i really wish i were different 😭 i envy those of you with staying power who can return to a story after going to work or writing something else and keep plugging away at it. i used to write sprawling things when i was a teen, but since becoming Adult With Job now many years ago, i've totally lost that skill!!

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language in fic?

haaaahahahaha. talk about a weakness. i literally couldn't bring myself to write a fic that required dialogue in Ancient from stargate, a language that -- i cannot stress this enough -- is not even real. i'm like "well maybe i'll study latin for three years and then analyze all the episodes where they speak it to reverse engineer the differences so i can write the bastardized space latin correctly" GIRL WHY. JUST FUCK IT UP.

19. First fandom you wrote for?

first completed story that i recall would have been star trek voyager in my early teens, and by the grace of rural internet and some kind of prescient sense of self-preservation, it does not live online. first internet-published fic was several years later, for the x-files. for better or worse, that one can still be found.

20. Favorite fic you’ve written?

i think pieces (stargate atlantis, sheppard/weir, catharsis through sex pollen) might be the new best, and i had a lot of fun writing erasers on pencils (stargate sg-1, clone!sam/jack, catharsis through truancy).

--

i am sure many of my fic-writer-meme friends have done this already but @ussjellyfish if your answers have changed since whenever you did it last; i'd love to hear how @havocthecat, @anretc, and @coraclavia would answer this; and blowing dandelion meme seeds over the fence to the mash fandom: @remyfire!

[unforth]

I've been trying for ages to figure out how to put something into words about The Youth In Fandom and I still don't think I've quite got it but I did reach an insight about it that I think is valuable enough that I'm gonna take a stab at writing it.

For starters, I want to make it clear, there is no "The Youth In Fandom Problem." Based on my efforts running the art sideblogs for danmei fandoms, I can say with a fair degree of confidence that a vast minority of people of all ages are antis, purity wankers, pro-censorship, ageist, etc. Even among people who mark their bios with their age, it's a shockingly low percentage of people under 18 who are being super weird about this stuff, and I think that's something a lot of older folks bemoaning The Younger Generation could stand to know and be reminded of. This isn't a majority, it's just a vocal minority, and tbh...that vocal minority has always been there, at least in my own fandom experiences.

That said, I've personally been the target of "y r u in fandom, old woman? Go take care of your kids!" bullshit, and yes it's definitely real and yes it definitely happens. (I am not old, I am not a woman, I was here before the people who said that to me were born, and I spend all the rest of my time taking care of my kids, so...).

All that introduction is to posit a theory:

The kinds of people who say "you should grow out of it, you're too old for fandom, etc." don't actually really...like what they like.

I know that sounds batshit. They're here blogging about it 24/7, of course they're obsessed! But I really genuinely find myself wondering...like...are they actually obsessed? Or are they just performing obsessed because that's what their peer group is doing? Are they just following along with their friends, mimicking their friends' enthusiasm, going with the flow because they're scared of what will happen if they say "actually I didn't think that show was very good"?

I ended up with this as a theory to posit because is to arrive at "you should grow out of it," you have to start with "I will grow out of it." And to get to "I will grow out of it," you have to start with "I may be into this now but I will definitely Change." And to get to "I will definitely Change," you have to start with the base assumption that loving certain types of media isn't just part of who you are, but rather a temporary persona you've assumed overlaying some deeper Self that will be revealed with time - or that's already been revealed and that you're deliberately masking for whatever reason.

Lemme put it less abstractly (but more longwindedly, lmao).

When I was 16, I was fucking terrified. There were all these things I loved - Star Trek, Hercules and Xena, Babylon 5, Slayers, Evangelion, Fushigi Yuugi, the Wheel of Time, many others - some I'd been into for years, some I'd only just discovered. And I looked at the adults in the world around me, who didn't sleep with stuffed toys, who got into long-term romantic and sexual relationships, who settled into careers that they stuck with for 20, 30, 40 years, who had heaps of responsibilities, and it was so frightening I literally had trouble sleeping at night. My senior year of high school, I trained myself to sleep with a pillow instead of a stuffie because "what would people in college think if they saw me snuggling a stuffed wolf?" That was something I was prepared to sacrifice to be An Adult (tm), something I was (irrationally) ashamed of, something that wasn't so much a part of my personhood that I couldn't give it up. When I left home to go to school at 17, I left my wolf at home. (I brought him with me a year later, and he's now on my bookshelf. Less disposable than 16-year-old me thought, as it turns out, but that's another story.) But there were things about myself I wasn't prepared to sacrifice to fit in during college. I still wore my Star Wars shirt. I still hung my anime posters. I still listened to J Pop. My roommate might judge me. My classmates might judge me. My professors might judge me. I didn't care. Loving those were part of who I was, and I wasn't prepared to give that up.

I found solace by looking at the adults in my life who hadn't had to give up their "childish fancies." I looked at my mother, who introduced me to Star Trek, and thought if she didn't have to stop loving Star Trek to be An Adult, then why should I? I looked at my grandfather, on whose bookshelves I first found the Lord of the Rings, and thought if he didn't have to give up LotR to be An Adult, then why should I? They might not wear fandom shirts, they might not go to conventions, they might not engage in the same way that I did, but they still loved these things, and it gave me hope.

When I was saw adults who still did fan things, who dressed how they wanted, who had cool hair styles or colors, who had tattoos, I thought "wow, what a cool person. I hope I get to grow up to be like them. I hope I'll be that comfortable in my own skin when I'm that age, because I'm sure not that comfortable in my own skin NOW."

I'll have to change in some ways - find A Career, figure out this "attraction" thing everyone keeps fucking talking about, buy a house, all the rest - but I'll be able to love the things I love.

I will still be "me" when I'm an adult, just Me-Plus-More.

I wanted to grow up to be that adult. I was prepared to take figurative arrows, to fight, to slog through, to retain the part of me that felt most valuable - my ability to love the things I loved without apologizing for it. And I knew I could do that, because I already had. Man, the shit people gave me in middle school for being an out-and-proud Trekkie? smh. It was baaaaad.

Time passes. Now I'm 40, and yes, I have changed. I've had more than one career. I got married. I figured out I never did have to figure out that "attraction" shit because I learned asexuality existed and. uh. Oh. I had children. I bought a house.

And I still have a bookcase of manga and I still have a Tumblr blog and I've found new fandoms - many, many new fandoms - nearly all for franchises that didn't even exist when I was 16 and so so scared that I used to literally break down and cry over the prospect of "having" to "give up childish things."

I got myself through on the belief that I'd still be me, and I was right. More than 20 years later, I AM still me.

And that's what leads me back to "why do The Youth think they'll age out of fandom?" And it leads me back to "I can only assume their fandom participation is mostly performative." Because look. This is who I was when I was 10 and read Lord of the Rings, and it was who I was when I was 12 and I started watching Star Trek when Voyager debuted, and it's who I was when I was 17 and I pulled an all-nighter to watch the second season of Fushigi Yuugi, and it's who I was when I was 21 and spent my birthday totally sober and gaming with my friends, and it's who I was at 26 when I got buried up to my eyeballs in Supernatural, and it's who I was at 37 when I watched The Untamed and knew as easy as breathing oh my god I've found the next obsession.

If it's an embraced, realized, adored part of your persona, there's absolutely no reason to think it's going to go away. And there's no reason nor need for it to. There are always gonna be people who judge others for having passions, and there are always gonna be people who embrace others for having passions, and you just gotta identify and avoid the former and find and adore the latter. If you're young, and you love fandom, and you're afraid you, too, will "have to" give up childish things...congratulations! You've got nothing to be afraid of! You never have to change that aspect of yourself!

But...I know these teens on Tumblr who are bullying others already know that because they can see us everywhere. And instead of going, as I did, "oh wow, those older people who still love the things they love are cool! how reassuring! I can be like them!" they think "EW OLD PERSON NOT ALLOWED THIS IS MY ROOM DO NOT ENTER."

And that's weird. When I try to think, "What kind of mentality would lead someone to feel that way, act that way, etc.?" I arrive at: being in fandom is something that they're embarrassed about. Something they're ashamed of, that they think is shameful. Something childish and therefore only for kids, even when the media they're a fan of is entirely made for and by adults. Something they think is made for them in that moment but that they'll be able to easily discard when they move on to more important parts of their lives. Something they know in their heart is transient. Something they're just doing because their friends are doing it.

That's when they'd think "why would an adult still do this?"

When it's something you "know" will be "just a phase," you don it like you don the identity of "high school student," something that'll get shucked a minute after graduation.

And while I found the idea of giving up fandom terrifying, I again can only assume that for these type of person, NOT giving up fandom becomes something terrifying. "Of course this is transient. Of course I'm going to change. I can't wait to change, I hate who I am now! Why did these so-called adults not change? Changing to not like this kind of thing is a sign of Maturity and Adulthood that I am eagerly waiting for, because I believe there's something wrong with being this way, and therefore I assume the adults I see doing this are immature, have something wrong with them, are childish, cannot be Doing Adulthood Right, because they didn't give up the thing."

"I know, in my heart, that I can't WAIT to change, so if they don't want to change, if they haven't changed, something must be wrong with them."

And don't get me wrong, I'm not saying this is the only reason. People are way too complex for there ever to be One Explanation Of All. I'm sure some of the teens who engage in ageist bullying just think they're ~cool~ and ~different~ and their name is Ebony Dark'ness Dementia Raven Way. Others are just uncomfortable with adults, with or without cause, and think "you don't belong in the same space as me." Some surely have drank the conservative kool-aid even as they've tried to change and are pantomiming the bullshit they were fed by those around them in new and unpleasant ways. Some think "this media was made for people like me and anyone who isn't like me can't possibly be engaging it in the Correct And Proper Way."

Some will grow out of it - out of fandom, or out of thinking that being an adult in fandom is wrong/bad/inappropriate/immature/whatever.

A few especially unpleasant ones...won't.

Unlike young!me, who looked at fannish grown ups and thought "wow, I could grow up to be like them, they're so cool!", you think "ew, I hope I don't grow up to be like them, they're so weird!"

And if that's you...why are you here?

If you don't actually like who are you when you're in fandom, that's okay. You don't have to stay. If you lose your friends because your interests change, then those friends stink and you didn't need them anyway; people who actually care about you will always keep by your side even if your interests and theirs diverge. But just cause YOU are performing your interest in fandom...doesn't mean the rest of us are. Some of us genuinely like it here. And you might think that's fucked up of us, but it's honestly none of your fucking business. You do what you gotta do to grow up, and leave the rest of us already-grown-ups alone.

And if you do genuinely love it and you're just scared because you think you'll have to change - that you'll reach some mystical age of majority and suddenly wake up a different person...you won't. For better and for worse, you'll still be you, so if there's things about yourself you don't like, it'd be better to start working on unpacking that psychological baggage now, because there's never gonna be a miracle point where you Feel Better And Like An Adult unless you put in the effort to change.

Teenagers...you will not grow up to be a new person. You will never give up who you are. You will grow up to be You-Plus-More.

And if that's something you hear and go "omg that's great news!" then I'm glad to be the one who told you. Take heart. There's hope. You can be you and that WILL be okay. You can face up to and grow from the things about yourself you don't like. You can learn more about yourself. You have time, and you will be able to improve yourself, to become more like the parts of yourself you like and less like the parts you hate.

And if that's something you hear and go "oh god no that's the worst" then you need to stare that reaction in the face and understand that the only way change is coming is if you make it happen for yourself. No one is strong-arming you into being a fan. If it's not for you...then stop. It's literally that easy. But don't take out your uncertainty and fear on other random people who are more comfortable with themselves than you are. Most of us are not here because of fear. We're here in the face of our fear, as a fuck you to our fear, because we also grew up being told we'd have to give up so-called childish things to be An Adult, and it turns out that was a pile of bullshit and we can have careers AND anime posters. And we can afford more anime posters, cause our parents are no longer telling us how to spend our money.

If your participation in fandom is primarily performative...just stop performing. Be yourself, and find your OWN passion, and stop shitting on the people who have managed to be more true to themselves and their own interests. You're not cool and edgy and different; you're just an asshole and a bully, and I pity you.

Anyway as you can tell from this rambly mess of a post, I haven't really gotten my finger on my point yet, but idk. I've been thinking about this and I think there's something there???

[shatnerihardlyknowher]

you seem like such a nice person!! I found your blog through another mutual who sent you an ask for some very sweet mcspirk drawings and I loved them so much oh my lord. scrolled down your posts for maybe half an hour?? absolutely top tier stuff. I feel like your vibes are just immaculate, a mix of kind and chaotic and GREEN (there’s a reason for that I swear), I’m sitting here like Oliver all “please may I have some more sir” except I’m Oliver and ‘more’ is interacting with u lol. idk you’re exciting!! in a ‘I wanna give you a pretty rock and a forehead kiss’ kind of way. also u live in Kansas? coolio I’ve got family there and Texas I love that part of the states <33 also I laugh whenever I look at your pfp because bones with his tongue out is poetic cinema. I sort of want to make fic of your drawings if you��d let me too <3 they’re so trans and so cute and all the Star Trek tos is amazing. and I’m pretty sure u know who I am at this point but that’s fine haha anyway I just wanted to say ur cool !! have an amazing day 💙💙

I TOLD YALL ID CRY

YES YES YES YOU CAN ABSOLUTELY MAKE FICS!!! The Blackbird one already has a lil angsty then fluffy fic that I'm writing but it's nowhere NEAR done😭😭

This is genuinely so sweet. Yes I'd love to interact more!!! I always get so excited seeing comments and getting pms from people. I have a post with my discord account if you'd like to add me there!! I have a server that's really only two people right now! It's a Bones cult!!!!!

I will gladly take that rock and forehead kiss. And yes!! I fucking love it here. Only downside is that I can't be a cetologist round here very well. I've been to Texas and am probably going back down to San Antonio this summer! I went down last year to see My Chemical Romance and may be goin to see blink-182. I love Texas, I miss it every day.

I honestly don't know who this is and I don't know if that's embarrassing but like- RAHH

[ezrisdax-archive]

Do you have more thoughts on Star Trek: Aventine? I know your pinned post is older but I’m always so enchanted by it when I visit your blog

oh! thank you! it's still my pinned post cause I love it so much.

I do have a few more ideas, like Ezri having to visit her brothers again when something she's investigating leads back to them and I wanted to really go more into a deep dive with Trill and explore Ezri eventually getting rid of symbiosis commissions laws in some areas. I know Discovery goes into it with Adira but I want Ezri to feel something about the fact that she has to keep this secret that any Trill can be joined as shown with her. also she's vocal about that time she was a murderer, hey symbiosis commission remember when you fucked that up? And talk more about the other hosts, we know a little about some of them and a bunch more about others but my god am I curious.

I def wanted to do a thing where Harry and Ezri worked their way to Captain together on Geordi's ship and thus have this camaraderie but Ezri hadn't met Seven before she was assigned to her ship and is like 'wow you're so different than Harry's stories' 'Captain Kim has a tendency to embellish', I think Ezri would set up little things with her command crew for bonding but when it comes to her and Seven it's just complaining about having different voices in your head and coming to terms with it a) suddenly being gone for Seven and b) suddenly existing for Ezri. and when it came to Seven being there it's because the Borg had shown up in the Gamma Quadrant for unknown reasons. I don't wanna make them the big bads like in TNG and VOY but I wanted some throwbacks to them, just in here and there episodes. I think if I was gonna make a big bad it'd be that Odo's talks with the Changelings created a division down them (look I'm not immune to the Geth division from Mass Effect) and now some of them are wondering why they're still not controlling what they had.

I dunno if you ever read this comics called Divided We Fall but in it Ezri has this sudden need to find Lenara after she goes missing but then the comic just...doesn't do anything with that, like Ezri finds her but there's never a conversation we get to see and the plot moves on which is why I wanted to ignore that completely and go with an episode where Ezri runs into Lenara, I just thought Lenara now going through the pain of losing a Dax twice and knowing neither that she loved can ever come back and meanwhile here's the new one in front of her is just something so interesting.

also I wanted to have anything where Molly or Naomi was the central character have a thing where it's them writing messages to Jake/the O'Briens/Kirayoshi or Samantha/Janeway. and an episode where Naomi works with Seven and makes a joke about it being just like old times and the two of them still get together for Kadis-Kot, maybe they've somehow found a technology that lets them get a message out to Neelix or Naomi has been writing all these reports to her godfather to one day share everything with him because Naomi believes in seeing her whole family again one day. meanwhile Molly's much more used to station life/earth life and is having some trouble adapting to the ship and wondering if she's cut out for it, I wanted to give her some more depth but not go full Barclay anxiety levels. It'd also be nice to have Molly get an episode where Kirayoshi is in trouble somehow and Ezri shares her wisdom when it comes to having a sibling.

Worf absolutely shows up too and Ezri is a little too gleeful he's admitting to all the changes that needed to be done on Q'onoS. 'Jadzia would not do such a vindication celebration' 'Yes she would'.

I also had a vague idea of a flashback where Ezri meets with Deanna and Deanna is the one who inspires her to make the move to join command and then she runs into Deanna again and thanks her. I'm a sucker for mentor-to-Ezri!Deanna type deal.

[heathen-starspawn]

I haven't updated my pinned in like a year, so here we go, starting fresh.

I'm Solaris. I'm 26 and, thanks to a convoluted-ass road featuring—among other things— an unpopular ship (six works total on AO3, babeyyy) in a cult sci-fi show, a new kitten, and a gay theatre kid rock opera about a derailed space train, finally figuring out what I'm doing again after several years of not fucking knowing.

I originally wanted to stay away from religion on this blog. This is due to some personal tragedies that happened to me over the past few years, that shook my faith deeply and ultimately led to me throwing out the suitcase and starting from scratch. But now I'm slowly packing my suitcase again, so here we go:

I'm trying this whole Heathen thing. Specifically I'm vibing hardcore with Sigyn right now, but Loki is of course here too and the rest of the fam are on the periphery, presumably waiting for me to become less monotropic about Sigyn. Yes, I got here from The Bifrost Incident. Sorry. Actually I'm not.

I'm also very carefully poking at the idea of an aroace-centric Hellenic cultus focused on the three maiden goddesses. That's on the back burner right now. Maybe I'll get back to it once I trust myself more.

In terms of actual magic, I'm not sure what I'm doing there yet. I'm trying, okay? It's hard to rebuild a whole practice when you've been practicing since you were sixteen. I'm good at protective stuff. I also like cooking and doing weird shit with entheogens (mostly weed, as it's what I have access to.)

There's also a pop culture element to my practice, both in terms of general reverence for art and storytelling— and desire to reclaim those things from capitalism— and in terms of actively incorporating things from contemporary media into my practice and theology. Don't jump to conclusions just because you see "Loki" and "pop culture" in the same post. I actively dislike the MCU. At the moment, my main pop culture influences are Star Trek, Babylon 5, The Secret World (which has been a major influence on my practice since the very start and will probably stick around a while) and Ruthanna Emrys's Innsmouth Legacy series.

I'm sex and kink repulsed. If you're following from a heavily NSFW blog I'll probably not follow you back. If you call me a puritan or say I'm sanitizing your spaces by existing in proximity to them I'll fucking hex you. I am not going to judge you for what you're into. Please return the favor by not forcing me to engage with things that harm me. If consent is as important to you as you say it is then fucking act like it.

Um. Come say hi, I guess?

[myfaveisfuckable]

Tuvok:

Ok, first off: real world standards, he's not normal passing. Apart from the ears, he's just too autistic (sorry, "Vulcan" 🙄) to be considered "normal looking". He went to 1990s earth once and Did Not Pass as normal. But in universe, he would on the surface seem like a model Vulcan. And he is, kinda. But he's also so gd weird. (/aff)

Not even gonna get into how badly he wants to be Will Graham because obviously that's there too but we don't have all day. Anyway.

Obvs the emotions struggle is real as it is for any Vulcan worth paying attention to, if only because they were all only ever written by humans.

But also, tangential to him being Will Graham coded (but still separate enough) he is a total mind slut. You know how some characters will go "when I have a problem, I set it on fire" or shit like that? When Tuvok has a problem, he mind melds with it. Homoerotically if it's an option. Dude even got a mind std one time, despite the fact that's not even a thing.

And then whatever the fuck kinda thing he has going on with Janeway. Not even necessarily in a shippy way ("not romantic, not platonic, so devoted the lines blur") but like... not only is he unreasonably loyal to her but he does shit like not only letting her touch him whenever she wants but *deliberately offering her HIS HAND to hold* to comfort her when she needs it (reminder that hand touching is very intimate to Vulcans and can be likened to human kissing) and again, they're never even stated as romantic or anything, they're just friends and yet he is more loyal to her than he is to his own code of ethics.

Obviously part of all of it could be because Janeway (or possibly Kate Mulgrew) is simply Like That, she does do shit like tell her platonic subordinate "then be a good rat and find us the cheese" in a tone that makes me lose it, but it's not all her, Tuvok is also extremely not normal about it. I should submit Janeway too actually, I'll do her next.

Also, afaik Tuvok is the only crew member of Voyager (who makes it back) who had a romantic partner before the ship got lost in the Delta quadrant and remained loyal the entire seven years they were lost. I *think* Samantha Wildman also did but she's a minor character (so she could've been getting it off screen) and she started out pregnant so once born Naomi both kept her busy and was a living reminder of her husband's love. So in that regard, Tuvok is very much not normal but like in the most positive way. He literally didn't cheat on his wife even when his life was in danger (they *were* out there for seven years so of course he hit pon farr eventually) and I think that's really cool of him. But also very not normal.

I'm very tired rn but once the polls come out, simply check out the blog of Bea @bumblingbabooshka (wanna clarify, I'm not him but he is THE Tuvok blogger in my opinion) who has written much on this already.

There's also the whole stuff that happened around his monestary era but I'm not even at that part yet but it must've been wild.

Anyway. Vote Tuvok

Janeway:

- will literally martyr herself at the drop of a hat

- will kill you if she thinks it's what she needs to do for her crew

- will not kill you if she thinks you've got residue humanity after decades as a borg drone even though realistically she really should've (tho ofc we're all glad she didn't)

- will violate your personal rights if she thinks you're not "human" enough and also compare you to a replicator (yes I'm still salty about that. wait what was the question? right, i'll get back on track)

- will say absolutely deranged shit like "then be a good rat and find us the cheese" in the a tone that makes me lose my mind and basically give everyone a crush on her (and also mommy issues) if they spend too long in her vicinity, leading to a very loyal crew

- her solution to having a crush on a fictional character was to delete his wife (very relatable but also very not normal)

- she wanted to watch hot Q on Q sex (possibly for scientific reasons) and looked very disappointed when it was severely underwhelming

- WHO brings a bathtub on a spaceship???

- there's more but y'know

[malcolm-reeds-pineapple]

Blorbo From My Shows Wrapped 2023

And rating them on a scale from 1 to 10

Nathan MacKinnon: listen okay he comes around every year around hockey season. This year I’ve gone especially deranged for him and made a fucking top loader for one of my hockey cards of him. He mostly gets points for being Nova Scotian and also looking like he has sustained multiple blows to the head. He is also incredibly fucking shaped. Anyway solid 7/10 - loses points because he’s been stripped of all personality by the NHL in order to be more advertiser-friendly

Vinsmoke Sanji: alright okay I’m a fake fan because I’ve only seen the live action but sweet Christ I want this white man. From the moment this absolute womanizing jackass graced my screen I have been in love with him. He makes me giggle and kick my feet like a middle schooler at a sleepover. He truly is Blorbo From My Shows in the best possible way. 10/10 I think this man is so hot.

John Sheppard: I started watching Atlantis recently and I kind of thought I was gonna hate it because no Daniel and Daniel had been my primary brain rot since I was 9 but John won me over. I love his sense of humour and his relationship with McKay (aaaaaaa Canada Mentioned!!!!) but I also find his insubordination extremely hot like yes babe!!! Disregard your orders to commit intergalactic war crimes!!!! Also I love that we get Sheppard Scruff a lot because believe me that instantly casts a hex on me to lose all thoughts!!!! Foaming at the mouth for him!!! Anyway 8/10 - loses points for being a pilot bc my dad was on the ground crew and my genetic memory is telling me that all pilots are bastards

Tony Markovich (that fucking cop from shameless): listen okay hear me out hear me out……………….. alright I got nothing, I can’t even defend this one. First of all, I’ve only seen the show through tiktok highlights. Second bbg this man is a cop what’s wrong with you??? He mostly gets points for looking like a handsome young man who my mom would love if I brought him home. Like Tony just looks sooooo boyfriend shaped to me?? Like if I brought him home and he told my mom that he volunteers coaching basketball and that he likes to spend his off time cooking with his mom, my mom would literally bawl her eyes out because I’ve brought home the man she’s always envisioned for me. 6/10 - loses points for being a cop and also being too fucking vanilla to even think that his handcuffs could possibly be used for sex.

Ray Stantz: alright so he’s also the type that I would 100% bring home to my mom but unlike Tony, I respect his career. This guy is soooooooooooo husband shaped like he looks like the kind of guy who mows his lawn on a Sunday before the kids wake up so he can teach them how to ride a bike as soon as they finish breakfast. He’s also just so sweet and cuddly in canon and I want him to infodump about all his interests at me. I also like that his so squishy and I just wanna be the one who helps him get the ectoplasm out of his hair while he tells me about poltergeists and stuff. 10/10 - he’s so husband shaped he loses points for NOTHING because he’s EXACTLY the kind of man I want

Daniel Jackson: listen okay we all knew this was coming I don’t even need to say anything. I know this man has not only been living in my head rent free but he also lives in yours because you follow me and you have 0 choice in the matter. I’m not elaborating just go thru #yeet me into the void on my blog and you’ll get it. 15/10 he’s the fucking blueprint.

Jack Ransom: i apparently cannot exist without a white man from Star Trek bouncing around my skull so Ransom makes this list. I love blonde himbos and like the thing is that I know he’d call me a fucking slur but like his superiority complex does something to me idfk I should send this post to my therapist because evidently I need fucking help. 8/10 - loses points for being a cartoon, gains points for his obvious brat taming kink.

Anyway thanks for coming to the annual Blorbo From My Shows Wrapped: a post that if it got forwarded to anyone in my family I’d simply fake my death and disappear. However, my tumblr followers are my priest and this blog is my confessional.

[afteriwake]

Things To Look Forward To On This Blog In 2024!

So yes. This year did not go at all as planned. I spent it dealing with long haul COVID symptoms that sapped my energy and my concentration, dealing with being homeless and getting burnt out running @wipbigbang this year (also COVID related...I love the BB, it's coming back next year, but running it wore me the fuck out this year...and I didn't even finish any of my planned fic for it!).

But there is good news: I wrote a fic today. I made graphics. I am slowly getting my creative spirit back! I have some stuff planned for the new year, provided I don't overdo it, and here's some of what I have planned:

A new series revolving around Miss Fisher's Murder Mysteries and BBC Sherlock, as suggested to me by my enabler @dreaminonao3. How is it going to work, you ask? Easy: it's set during "The Abominable Bride" era of Sherlock, in the 1800s, when Phryne and Mac are ten and Sherlock has need of new Irregulars. Dremin looked at the timeline and I jumped at the chance to write this. It is going to also incorporate an AU version of Ms. Fisher's Modern Murder Mysteries as well, as this fic is going to span all of Phryne's life except what we explicitly saw in the series (no movie for this series). I'm really looking forward to working on this series.

More of the "In Our Neck Of The Woods" series, which is going to span from way back in pre-series through an AU BBC Sherlock series 4 (I'M GONNA KILL JOHN AND LET MARY LIVE BWAHAHAHA!!!), crossing over with British shows like Midsomer Murders, Inspector Lewis, Murder In Suburbia; Australian shows like Mr & Mrs Murder and MFMM; the American crime procedural Criminal Minds and probably more! I have crazy ass plans for this series, but a HUGE focus of it is going to be the Mycroft/Lestrade ship. I eventually plan to finish "Every British Village Has Its Secrets" in 2024, but I'm going to start writing this out of order because I have Ideas and I'm tired of waiting to finish the casefic.

More beneath the cut!

CSIverse fic! I'm not going to write new stuff, probably, but I will finish posting the parts of my Danny Messer fic which seems to be popular (it's finished, I just need to format the future chapters for AO3, and I've misplaced my files), and I will start moving over more character bios for Nothing's Like Before/All Grown Up's OCs and start organizing those series and posting them. Plus I have a ton of other fic from LJ I need to post on AO3, so I'm going to try and average posting ten CSIverse fic a month for my various series and standalones and stuff.

I will be revisiting my older series. I mean, my OLD older series. Ones I started in my Wholock mania, BBC Sherlock series with only a small handful of fics, maybe even some of my Bleach series if I can figure out how to watch it on Hulu. I am also, because I binged them and miss my people and OCs and stuff, be adding more to "Stuff Of Improbable Legends" and "Saviors Of Time And Space" for @posterofamyth since I don't have the energy or creative capacity to dive back into actual roleplaying just yet. I'll be moving over story logs, filling in events that are mentioned in game but not logged, and adding newer content with the various ships and characters I grew to love when I was roleplaying. These will be fewer each month than the stuff I'm moving over, but I'm going to try!

More Star Trek AOS stuff. I have plans to add to "What Stork Brings" in January, I'm going to write more of "Academy Days," and I'll work on updating the Star Trek TOS movie "The Undiscovered Country" rewrite after I refresh my memory on the movie plot by watching it. @greenskyoverme is going to be dictating what I update and when for most of the stuff, as she's requested it as repayment for the multitudes of help she's given...

...That being said, I also plan on writing (hopefully) two stories a month in the "Between The Stars" series that I use Aurora Hliday in, as she is a OC of @luminarysketches and I'm commissioned to write at least 20K worth of stories (but I love Ro so this is not a daunting task, aside for the long haul stuff). Now, I'm going to hopefully get in touch with them soon to get more story ideas as well as have a bio for Aurora posted with the series in the series page link so you guys can learn all about her, so this one may not start until a little later in 2024.

More MCU! @dreaminonao3 has given me well over 1,000 prompts and a shit ton of them are my various MCU pairings I have series for so I will start using them to update the various series I have started. I got a ton of prompts specifically for "Just Pieces On The Board" so be on the lookout for those!

Provided I can get space and time to write, I am probably going to do a few month-long challenges. I may not do every day, but if I start one I will try and finish it before 2025 dawn, even if it's late.

Art! I have a ton more art to do for @wipbigbang and I'm getting back into making fanmixes. I would like to make a Mystrade mix at some point, and non-fic-inspired Sherlolly and Adlock ones as well. Plus I'm going to branch out into some of my MCU and Star Trek fandoms as well as some character-centric Elementary ones. I also have plans to make more fic inspired art I'm giving to holiday_wishes and @sherlollysecretsanta people as late Christmas gifts. So there should be a lot more art from me in the near future.

And that's kind of the gist of it! When I'm not posting fic and art of my own creation, I'm going to start posting more resources, fandom/fanfic adjacent stuff, art resources and other things. I'm planning to use this blog more than I did and 2023, so please, wish me luck!

[phatburd]

violence!: 4, 14, 22

4. what was the last straw that made you finally block that annoying person?

If we’re talking about my most recent block, it was on Reddit where the dude tried to argue gender essentialism at me. Basically, he asserted that my call to write women like people was bullshit and that women should be written like women (weak and helpless). Yeah, I did not and do not have the emotional bandwidth to deal with that shit.

Even better though, when other people in the thread brought up Ellen Ripley as an example of where a role was originally written for a man but Sigourney Weaver was cast instead. The dude then stated he had never watched any of the Alien movies, but he read the Wikipedia article on Ripley and assumed she must be a boring and poorly written character because she was a woman.

Yeah, dude … delete your fucking account. All of your accounts, everywhere.

Tumblr blocks? Yeah, it was the Nth blog that posted the TOG van speech verbatim and declared JoeNicky to be the most perfect thing ever. Went into the blog, found their AO3, blocked that, then blocked their Tumblr. Because clearly this person and I have nothing to say to each other, and I’m tired and I get petty when I’m tired.

14. that one thing you see in fics all the time

Making the bottom in an m/m ship extremely feminized, sometimes straight up infantilized. This isn’t to say there aren’t feminine gay dudes in RL, because there are. I’m talking about fan works.

I don’t know if it’s out of ignorance, sexism, misogyny, or just boring-ass heteronormativity, this idea that someone has to be the “girl” in a same-sex pairing. And every time I see it, I’m reminded of this little cartoon:

I don’t really get top/bottom discourse and especially the need to assign specific personality traits to the top or the bottom. It was something I set out to not do in my m/m Bessimu fics. I wanted to write them as equals, and I think I succeeded.

(FWIW, I see Bessimu as both being switches, because that’s more fun. I also find it hot to write Bessières as a power bottom dom and Murat as the submissive service top, and it’s not what one would expect when judging them by their public personas.)

22. your favorite part of canon that everyone else ignores

From The Old Guard? Those three and a half thousand years that Andy spent alone as the only immortal on the planet (as far as anyone knows).

I’ve been wanting to explore that period and, yes, it’s fucking intimidating. Historical documentation is more miss than hit once you start going back to certain points in human history.

Three and a half thousand years is a really fucking long time. What did Andy do, where did she go? What did she see? There’s a lot of potential to mine there, and maybe I’ll do it someday.

For the Napoleonics? Joseph Fouché is a fucking amoral bastard, but I think people forget he tried to save Marshal Ney. Ney, being Ney, was either politically naive, stubborn, and/or he just wanted to fucking die already when he refused Fouché’s offer of fake papers and an passport to sneak out of France in the aftermath of Napoleon’s second abdication.

(I’ve also read that Laurent de Gouvion St. Cyr was the one who offered the passport and papers, so take the above with the proverbial grain of salt. St. Cyr did vote for exile in the final trial, which lends weight to that too.)

I also have a shitload of question marks around Bessières’ final years and the way it gets treated by academics, but that may be better off in a post of its own.

For Star Trek ... no one ever really talks about what kind of influence Sisko might have had on the Bajorans other than just being the Emissary/Space Jesus. Like, did baseball become a national sport and baseball leagues spring up all over the planet? Is there ticky-tacky Emissary merchandise one can purchase, like humans have in real life of the Pope?

(Sisko did show up on a pack of Bajoran tarot cards in Lower Decks, and I squealed over that, ngl.)

Thanks for asking! 😘

[ieatwormsandtheytasteverygood]

Fuck yuo *introduces self(s) again* (and then updates it again. the silly ppl in my head decided to shift around a lil)

Apparently we go by Áesgirr here. so I'll be doing that too. We use he/him, hey/hem/here/heren/hem self, and 'e/'em/'er/'ers/'emself. We're a transgender genderqueer man, bisexual, and aromantic. Bodily 18, Irish & South African. We're physically disabled, have autism, ADHD, psychosis and a few special extras to make life interesting (read: painful). We plan on converting to Judaism when/if possible, but can't for at least a while yet.

We're pretty inactive just because we forget that tumblr exists. Repeatedly.

Our autism decided to make a special left swing right back to Jirt & the Silmarillion, but we've still quite some fondness for mediæval history, and naturally for philology & other linguistics.

Fluent in (Modern) English, Middle English, and Afrikaans (albeit getting out of practise). Vaguely conversational at German, Swedish and Zulu. Quite terrible at Irish, Welsh, Setswana and Middle Scots. And we can understand quite a bit of Modern Scots, (written) French, Dutch, Old English, Ecclesiastical Latin, and various related languages.

We're eternally trapped in the hellscape that is the Silmarillion fandom, but also Doctor Who & its associates, Star Trek, Our Flag Means Death, Shakespeare (we love the political plays), Good Omens, and probably some others. It's a thing.

We have so many pets and we love them to bits. <333

We also like art and writing, but unfortunately our art blog is completely separate to this (irl people know about our art blog), so no art here alas. We might post some of our calligraphy however! We love love love music, and we sing tenor, and play the violin and cello. Please send obscure folk music to us!!

The main lads (gender neutral) that're currently active are:

Ruthuifin/Rúthuifim - he/him, e/em. Aro neu, cassgender. Ñoldo (elf). Far too old and far too good at making terrible jokes. You don't want to know what e has to say about Eldarin marital law. It's terrifying. And he's probably actually tax-fraud-romantic for all he goes on about it /j

Orchalon - no pronouns (auxiliary he/him). Anattractional, cassgender/agender (masculine or neutral terms preferred). Cursed to be Ruthuifin's brother, and Malto's cousin. Vaguely elvish, vaguely draconic.

Malto/Cólðir/Cóleblein/Maltalain - he/him. Probably aspec? Also an elf. He's the reason why we spent R4000 on all 12 volumes of HoME. Don't ask about the vat of wine incident.

Roquén(/Rochir/Rochen/Rocen) - hen/han/tîn/tîn/anhen (auxiliary it/its). non-binary. quoisexual, aromantic (cupioromantic), toric/NBLM, oriented aroace. yet another elf. burdened by tîn relation to ruthuifin and malto (much more tolerant of orchalon, for Obvious Reasons). music enjoyer, persecutor, and the Only Sane One Left.

Minyafaramo - he/him. male, aroace. elf (are we even surprised at this point). related to the other elves (what a shocker). is plotting alongside malto, tatyo and nelyo (not that nelyo) to find a way for us to do horseback archery. he still hasnt forgiven nelyo for straining a muscle doing HEMA a few weeks ago. loves animals and music as well as hitting people and objects with swords and/or bows.

Tatyafaramo - he/him. male, anattractional. you can guess the species. yes, he chose to go by this name. loves archery, but also animals, music, and literature. i suspect he enjoys hitting people with swords, too.

Nelyafaramo - he/him. male, aroace. he likes HEMA (archery & mediæval swordplay. dont ask him to do fencing. he will hit you over the head with the hilt of his foil.), and wroth. he's the one who gets to have anger over our daddy issues instead of Melancholic Thoughts.

Caliwe - they/them. we tried to name them Caliweg, but apparently "i am not shiny-ful". orangegender, yellowgender, bluegender, purplegender, gemder. aromantic (etc.), but ma-æsthetic. aids and abets malto and ruthuifin. for all they're an elf, they act remarkably like a golden retriever /aff. big sociology & anthropology nerd.

Loup - it/its. unhuman. no opinion on gender or sexuality. friends(?) with nelyafaramo et al.

cat - it/its. name must be pronounced as /ˈʔːːːːːːː/ (NB: really focus on the not breathing!!). my gender is whatever pisses u off the most, and my sexuality is painful to look at. unfortunate "babysitter" of malto. i have also aided and abetted malto. i do not apologise.

Pádraig - he/him. The One True Pope. Pan-oriented aroace, cassgender (or something like that). Formerly human, now a horror beyond your comprehension. His hobbies are insomnia and hating the British.

Obligatory DNI list: pædos, animal abusers, people who post using entirely inaccessible fonts (think faux cyrillic kind of thing). If you're going to be a dick about our identity please just move on. We can & will block liberally, especially when it comes to sexybots. If you're not in fact a sexybot and we end up blocking you, send us an anonymous ask with your username & we shall unblock.

Have a great Tuesday, and may you never experience the horrors of Malto spouting cursed Silmarillion facts.

[theoreticalli]

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[mylittleredgirl]

okay i am finally back on the road to catching up with star trek picard after so many weeks behind!! i have just watched episode two and no spoilers beyond that please but i need to dump my stream of consciousness thoughts somewhere AND:

the crusher ship is a mariposan ship? mariposans like the clone people??? 🧬👀 got my EYES on that dna strand from the closing credits

saavik shuttle we hardly knew ye 😭

sneed is a PERFECT ferengi name

it's just michelle hurd and her great hair and an empty starship set against the world :(

i literally just had to look up the name of rios's ship I'M SO SORRY BABY I FORGOT ABOUT YOU confessing my star trek sins on main 😭😭

earlier this week somebody at work made a star trek reference and i DIDN'T GET IT i need to have my trek blog license suspended until i sort my shit out

vadic!!!! holy shit!!! i am OBSESSED with her

i had to stop and rewind to catch this but did that guy just say the starfleet rules of engagement for outside of federation space are CLEAR?

"safety and preservation of the ship and crew above all else"???

is this... a new regulation??? asking for a friend [the u.s.s. voyager crew, getting self-destruct countdowns three times a season].

"have you done the math?" respectfully captain riker sir i HAVE done the math and this young man looks too old for the timeline we have been given

so again with the 🧬👀

oh or a hard life of petty space crime i guess might age you a few years ok

captain shaw’s messy hair is making me uncomfortable. i know we are establishing that you are not properly hinged but where is your space hair gel sir!!!!

sneed lives up to his excellent ferengi name for real

WORF!!!!!!!!!!!! working for starfleet intelligence!!?? who cares i don't need details WORF AND MEK'LETH SOUND EFFECT MY BELOVED 😭

captain shaw's "for the love of FUCK okay i guess we're getting into this" response to the family drama silently unfolding on his bridge is genuinely hilarious

i mean they are going to speak to each other out loud eventually though right

vadic giggling in her evil flying throne room lair i am SCREAMING!!!!!!! i am ALIVEEEEE!!! this is the PINNACLE of what i want from trek villainy!!!!!

i am so PUMPED!!

other things i'm thinking about that i didn't write down in real time:

trill sighting in the infirmary!

love meeting raffi's exhausted ex and it HURT that she could not choose her kid over the latest space 9/11 conspiracy that starfleet explicitly told her not to investigate :(

i suppose ending up being right in season one is not going to help with her inability to let something like this go

as tumblr user writergeekrhw explained, miles o'brien must suffer because colm meaney was great at playing suffering and i think now raffi must suffer because michelle hurd is so great at playing a strung out conspiracy theorist that no one will listen to :/

and finally:

i hope seven of nine loses and regains her rank 17 more times before the season is out

[alonetogether]

Hey :) I’m really new to DC, and I was wondering if you had any comic recs? I just started World’s Finest and I LOVE it. I saw your blog and thought I’d ask (especially after reading your shipping preferences/dislikes and Star Trek posts lol). I have a good bit of background with the bat clan because my friend has been into DC since she was a kid.

lmfaooo yeah i really make it clear i do not like b*tjokes from the get go, huh? but yes for sure i can give some recs for specifically superbat content (so glad youve picked up the new worlds finest series starting its already so so good for superbat and as a whole ughghgfdh)

literally just read as much of the superman/batman run as you can but especially the first arc which iirc are issues 1 - 6 from volume one (public enemies) like if you see this style you know youre in for a fucking treat

also batman/superman issue 15 snow fight, they have a sweet scene in there

batman/superman new52 issue 29 (if you know you know why)

but the superman/batman or the batman/superman volumes are easy to suggest, cause well. its in the name (also yes s/b and b/s are different arcs and comics completely)

so, superman and batman vs alien and predator, i know the names amusing, but its good for superbat (care-filled) bickering

the dark knight 3 master race (as much as it pains me to say it, iykyk) just dont read the first 2, they suck and this one does too but the superbat in it? dear lord look at this shit

justice league volume 4 issue 52 is an amazing superbat issue

superman issue 76 from the 50's (or the recreated scene from superman/batman annual 1 though the issues really off colour 00's writing) is their meetcute and there was only one bed moment, no joke

and in general, older issues like the worlds finest like theyre campy and very old-school but theyre besties always in those lol

also dont be afraid and let anyone tell you to only read comics and go consume them in media that isnt comics cause it rly does give the best moments, like the movie adaption of public enemies and the world's finest 1998 movie also highly recommend the dceu movies (bvs and zsjl, i mean, gestures to my pinned post, i love them) but id say get to know them more before you go into those movies

uhh hope this is satisfactory?? lmfaooo