#and THEN followed that up with 8-ball 2 i am my own muse | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

seriouslyhooked · 4 years ago

Text

Feels Like This (Part 9)

Emma Swan is a once lost girl who is now making good. She has made a way in the world for her and her young son, Henry, and after years of hard work, Emma is in her last stretch of schooling for the career she’s always wanted. Unexpectedly, she finds herself in a tiny nation no one’s ever heard of for her last year of study. She knows nothing about the place except that it’s beautiful, has a world-renowned child life program, and is filled with possibility. Meanwhile, Prince Killian is hardly happy with the title he received at birth. As the second in line for the crown, Killian has long tried shaking his royal duties. He built a career in the royal navy, and has stayed out of the limelight, but his ship has been called to port indefinitely at the request of his brother, the King. Fate (in her many forms) brings Emma and Killian together and the resulting fic is a cute, fluffy, trope filled romp featuring heart felt moments, a healthy dose of insta-love and an assured happily ever after. Story rated M and will have 12 parts. Part 1, Part 2, Part 3, Part 4, Part 5, Part 6, Part 7, Part 8. Available on FF Here and AO3 Here.

A/N: Hello everyone! So I have been on a nice long break from writing over the past month or so, and please believe it was not by choice. I am still feeling a high level of burn out from school and from 2020 in general and I just couldn’t seem to sit down and write. Instead I have been trying to relax and enjoy the end of summer and this beginning of fall. Luckily, this week brought my muse back into focus, and I was able to get more of this chapter on the page that I have been building to for a long time. As I promised, the angst of this story is now behind us, but the intrigue is not exactly over. This chapter shows some still remaining pieces of the puzzle beginning to fall into place. Anyway, thank you all so much for reading and I really hope you enjoy this new installment!

The dreaminess of a Montenarran morning was hard to describe to someone who had never experienced one before. The magic of this place hung in the air, dancing on the coastal breeze and glistening through that perfect Mediterranean mix of sun and spirit. The golden hues that lit up the world here were different than the paler lights Emma and Henry knew back home, and the crystal blue waters were nothing like the Long Island Sound or the harbors in New York.

Other places in this corner of the world must share similar splendor. People loved visiting Spain and Italy and Greece for a reason, and perhaps Emma was merely untraveled and so could not really compare this place to those, but in her estimation she and Henry had yet to face a less than stellar day in this beautiful country. Somehow, through a higher, stronger power, the weather always held, and the mood was always happy. People were calm but vibrant, kind and filled with purpose. It made for a delicious melody of life that pierced the soul with the same humming happiness of a favorite lullaby. This tangible energy was a constant here, and in meant that even a normal walk from one point to another was enjoyable. In short, every day here felt remarkable, and this morning was no exception.

“Do you really think everyone will like my surprise, Mom?” Henry asked, filling in the comfortable silence that hung between them on their stroll from their home to the Center. “I know you said that everyone loves to try new things, but maybe this isn’t as great an idea as I thought.”

Emma turned her gaze from the bustling street they were walking on to her son, who for the first time in a long time looked younger than his years and moderately hesitant. She tried not to chuckle in the face of Henry’s anxiousness, as that would not be kind, but she wished she could tell him just how unfounded his worries were. Henry’s intended surprise for the children at the Center today was going to be well received. In fact, Emma anticipated it would start an institute-wide revolution.

“Believe me, kid, they’re going to love it. They ask me all the time about what things are like in America; the movies, the food, the sports. They’re going to love learning about baseball, I guarantee it.”

Henry nodded, resuming a more assured nature as they continued down the street. He was so cute and determined like this, and Emma wished she could capture this moment in time and freeze it so she could remember it always. In a few years Henry would be a teenager, but for now he was still at that place in childhood where the world was filled with only hope and good and possibility.

In the interest of sharing those good vibes with others, Henry was bringing everything needed to teach the kids about America’s favorite pastime. He carried his whiffle ball bat slung over his shoulder, and a bag of plastic balls in a sack in his other hand. It felt like a miracle to have these silly simple things from home, but to get these items shipped to Montenarro had taken some finessing and plenty of help from Mr. and Mrs. H. It was no exaggeration to say that Mrs. Hubbard had moved mountains for her favorite neighbors in shipping these supplies, and when they finally arrived, they came with the most beautiful note, and a reminder from their dear landlady to soak in every moment and follow their hearts. They’d been speaking with Mr. and Mrs. H each week on Facetime, but these words still made an impact, both for Emma and her son. Now Emma was thrilled to see Henry follow his passion and lead an activity at a place she loved so surely with kids who meant so much to her,

“Do you think Cecelia will want to play?” Henry asked, singling out the child Emma had a special bond to. Henry’s own personal fondness for the little girl rang out in his voice, and the question was sincere and sweet. Over the now many times Henry had come to the center, he had grown attached to Cecelia too, and he was always bringing her into things, even if he spent most of his time with the older kids. Those actions and their bond touched Emma’s heart, and always left her with this ache in her chest like these few moments shared all together were not enough.

“I think Cecelia will do absolutely anything that you deem cool.”

“Yeah, and if we get Killian to play she’ll totally join.” Emma laughed at the undeniably accurate assumption. It was true after all, for as much as Cecelia had bonded to Emma, she’d grown just as close and comfortable with Killian too. It was so good to see how energetic and extroverted she’d become in the last three months. Little Cecelia was truly coming into her own, and growing more confident each and every day.

“Didn’t Killian tell you he would play last night?”

“Oh yeah. He promised me, and Killian never breaks a promise.”

Emma was aware of that and in the two months since they’d had their first date, she had only grown more invested in their relationship because of this tendency. It was insane that it had only been two months, given how much she felt for him, but at the same time they were so lucky to have had all this time without public interruption. For the moment, she and Killian were still keeping things private. No one in the press or outside the bubbles of their little world knew, but at the Center, and on their own time, they never lived in hiding. They saw each other nearly every day, both at work and at his or her home, and Emma had seen Killian on more one-on-one dates as well as outings and evenings with Henry. It had all been so natural that, honestly, Emma was prone to forgetting that he was a prince. To her he was just the man she loved fiercely, who made her feel like anything was possible.

I need to tell him how I really feel soon, she thought to herself as she and Henry made it to the front gate of the Institute.

This was hardly the first time she’d thought this. She had known for some time how she felt and what she wanted, but there were still a few key things that were up in the air. For one thing, her position at the Center, and thus in the country, still had a time stamp. She thought that Marco and Marie may offer her a chance to stay on in a few months, but it was by no means a definite. Also, making such a permanent change would have huge implications for her and Henry. The plan had always been to go back to New York, but if she was transparent with her feelings, Emma could admit that New York no longer felt like home. In a very short time Montennaro had taken root in her and Henry’s hearts and it felt like the place they were always supposed to be.

Then there was also the little matter of Killian’s family, who Emma was told knew of her, but whom she had never met. Even now, she didn’t know how she felt about that. On one hand she was glad that they hadn’t crossed that bridge yet, because meeting his family would no doubt be stressful and have all this weight and expectation. But on the other hand, Emma was really feeling like this was a forever kind of love, and so she had to meet them someday, right?

“Well if it isn’t my two favorite Yankees,” a voice called out from behind the gate. Emma and Henry looked to find Anna who was waiting for them with a huge smile and her hands on her hips. “See what I did there, because baseball. Wait, did I do it right? Elsa, are the Yankees baseball?”

“How should I know?” Elsa joked from across the lawn before gesturing to Emma and Henry. “Ask them.”

“It was a solid pun,” Henry agreed, “But we’re actually Mets fans.”

“Mets?” Anna asked, looking to Emma for confirmation. A soft tug from Henry told Emma to play it cool, so she kept her poker face in check. “What on earth is a Met?”

“It’s another, way worse, baseball team in New York. But don’t worry, I’m just teasing. Yankees all the way.”

“You may look like an angel, Henry, but there’s a rascal spirit in you,” Anna said with feigned huffiness. Now Elsa laughed full out, prompting smiles from the rest of them at her genuine joy.

“Anna should know about rascal spirits; she was chastised for having one by our Grand-mère for years.”

“That’s a fancy way to say grandmother right?” Henry asked eagerly. “Like in that movie with the missing Princess we saw. Anastasia, right Mom?”

Emma nodded, but she couldn’t help but notice the way both of her friends went pale at the mention of the film. Elsa mumbled something about Anastasia technically being a duchess while Anna barked out a quick mention of it being a French custom. What was with her friends and these weird moments any time someone probed about their pasts or lives beyond the Center? Emma didn’t know, but she didn’t have time to linger with the curiosity, for at that moment they made their way inside and were greeted with a swarm of kids, all of them clamoring to see Henry again. Emma laughed outright at everyone’s excitement and said hello to all of the cuties who greeted her too, but before long, her eyes were called across the room, landing on a man she’d been missing for the last 12 or so hours.

“Good morning, love,” Killian said, coming forward and taking her hand before pressing a kiss atop it. It was their little routine now, his way of saying hello when they were surrounded by the kids.

“Long time no see,” Emma said, trying to sound sarcastic but failing miserably. The wry grin that pulled at Killian’s lips made her heart race as he whispered his reply.

“Trust and believe it’s been torture for me too, Swan. But tonight I’ll have you alone once more.”

The promise in his words made her tremble slightly, and she hoped he wouldn’t catch on to how affected she was, but he definitely tracked it, smiling once more and pressing a kiss to her cheek before diving into the morning with the kids. The two of them got caught up in all of it, and having Henry there as well only added to the good times. Unfortunately, they only had about an hour of this bliss before things went off the rails.

It started with a phone call, which was hardly unusual for a placement home, but the call did draw some notice as this was a weekend. Emma wondered if this was an intake request for a new child, but when Marco and Marie departed to take the call, she threw herself back into the morning rush. About five minutes later, however, she watched as both of them emerged with Marie looking pale as a ghost, and even the unflappable Marco looking surprised.

“What do you think is going on there?” Elsa asked, and Emma shrugged, completely unsure. Things only grew stranger when Marco called Killian over to speak with him. Now Emma’s heckles were up. Was everything okay? No sooner had she thought that then Anna appeared, darting from the back hall looking flushed and flustered.

“They’re coming!” Her words were loud and automatically the other adults in the room and a few kids shushed her for the outburst.

“Who’s coming?” Emma and Elsa asked at the same time, quietly inquiring so as not to rile the children.

“Killian’s family.”

“You’re kidding,” Elsa said forcefully as Emma’s jaw dropped. When Anna shook her head, Elsa continued. “Oh my God you’re serious?”

“Heard the whole thing when Marco left the office door open. They’ve just left the castle. King Liam, and the two dowager Queens. It’s about to be a very full, and incredibly fancy, house.”

“Oh my God,” Emma said, her voice more a raw squeak than anything else. Fear began to descend, and her eyes looked at Killian across the room. She expected to see a similar sense of dread or panic, but he was… calm. As in completely and totally unphased.

“Do you think he knew?” Anna asked, obviously seeing the same sense of cool that their resident Prince was donning in this moment.

“No,” Emma said with confidence. “He actually told me last night that he wanted to introduce us all soon. He mentioned the Montecarri festival in a two weeks. He said Henry would love the palace’s party. I didn’t give him a real answer, but…”

“But you were going to say yes.”

“Yeah,” Emma agreed, exhaling a shaky breath. At that moment the conversation between Marco and Killian finished, and immediately Killian’s eyes found hers. Silently they exchanged a mountain of words, and both of them knew they had to touch base, so with a quick goodbye to her friends, Emma moved towards him, finding a quiet alcove away from the others.

“Let me guess, Anna’s somehow heard and told you everything.”

“Pretty much,” Emma said with a nod. “Are you okay?”

“Aye. I’m strangely - I don’t know - relieved? They’ve all been asking me for ages about this place, and about you, I’ve tried to tell them, but nothing compares to the real thing.”

“This will change things,” Emma said anxiously but Killian’s hand came to cup her face in a reassuring gesture she had no choice but to lean into.

“Nothing is ever going to change how I feel about you, love. I won’t lie and say my family isn’t prone to over-involvement, but they’re harmless, and I swear to you they’ll love you. Who could resist loving you, Emma?”

Her heart sped up so much at his words but all she could do was kiss him. It immediately helped ground her and made her feel better, but too over it was soon, as Killian pulled back, still holding her but putting a little distance between them. Her brow furrowed in question until she heard it.

“Hi Mom, Hi Killian.” Henry. Oh thank God Killian had heard him coming. She did not need to be scarring her kid with some hot and heavy, stress-induced PDA. Looking over to her son, Emma noticed Cecelia holding Henry’s hand tight. She looked a little bit unsure, and Emma immediately shifted her focus. Whatever was wrong she wanted to fix it. “We saw you guys head over here. Is everything okay?”

“Aye, lad. Just a bit of a plan change. You know how you asked about when you and your Mum might meet my family?” Henry nodded. This was news to Emma, but she kept quiet, intrigued to watch Henry’s reaction. “Well it turns out they’re coming here today.”

“They are?” Henry asked excitedly. “That’s so cool! I can’t wait to meet them. Maybe they’ll stick around for the baseball game!”

“Mes too?” Cecelia asked, her free hand coming to cover her mouth in a shy gesture that made the words a bit more mumbled.

“Aye, little lass, you too,” Killian said brightly. This prompted a big smile from Cecelia who ran over to Killian and threw herself into him. Instinctively he picked her up, and Emma swore she felt tears in her eyes. God so much was happening right now, but this moment felt especially important.

The next few minutes were filled with Henry’s palpable excitement, and Emma decided to hold onto that as her own apprehension grew. They returned to the main room with the others, who had all been told of their soon to be arriving guests, and the reactions of the children were mixed. They all seemed to be in awe of such an arrival, but all it took was one reminder that these were Killian’s family members, and everyone calmed down. The little boys especially went on and on about how Killian might be a prince but he was mostly their friend. He played pirates with them, and he was their pal, and they had to believe his family must be just as wonderful. Emma would never bring it up, but she watched as Killian wiped away a few stray tears at their compliments. Unknowingly, this had prompted a center-wide affirmation of how much Killian was loved and appreciated, and it was touching to say the least.

Shortly thereafter, a fleet of cars, including a palace limo, arrived and the hush that settled over everyone was instantaneous. There was rarely any quiet in this place, but in this moment the anticipation manifested into total silence. Even the tiniest babies in the home were still and through the window they all watched as Queen Meera, Queen Eleanor, and finally King Liam left the confines of the automobile and headed into the front hall. Marco and Killian were set to greet them, and Emma could see how relieved Marie was to not be part of this welcoming party. Going off of how agitated she was when Killian came the first time, Emma could only imagine the pressure of three royals at once.

“It’s going to be fine, right, Els?” Anna whispered and Emma looked back to her friends. Elsa was currently holding one of the infant babies, a lovely little joy named Ariana who had arrived a few weeks ago. Though she too was agitated, Emma could see Elsa taking comfort in the affectionate baby, and she finally turned her more grounded gaze to her sister.

“Of course it is,” Elsa confirmed. “It was a long time ago, Anna.”

“A lifetime ago,” Anna agreed with a nod. Then she noticed Emma looking at them. She appeared torn between saying more and playing it off like nothing happened, but then Elsa took her hand.

“We can trust Emma, Anna, and we do. We’ll tell her everything when they’ve gone, okay? No more secrets. Not between true friends.”

Anna and Emma nodded at Elsa’s request and then the movement of their guests into the main room called everyone’s attention. Emma had been momentarily distracted from any kind of worry, but now, seeing Killian’s family in the flesh, she was surprised. Oh they were beautiful and regal and poised to be sure, but they were also dressed in a much more approachable way than she’d expected. There were no gowns or crowns or anything like that. They’d clearly made adjustments to come here, and if she didn’t know better, she’d think all of them completely normal people.

They probably are normal, they just live a completely abnormal life, she thought to herself.

It was impossible to not compare this meeting to holiday parade, the first time Emma had seen all of them in person, but immediately it felt like an incomparable set of circumstances. The three people gathered here may be the same, but their sense of approachability was so different. At the precesion they’d been decked out in their finest ensembles, designed to look like royalty who may care for the people, but who ultimately stood apart. Today, they could have been any attractive, well dressed family. Queen Meera and Queen Eleanor especially carried themselves with genuine smiles and eagerness, looking upon the children with affection and excitement. Emma also noticed their continued glances at her and Elsa and Anna, but both women were able to tamp down any outright staring.

King Liam, however was another story. He may not look the part of reining monarch per-se, but his stance was so formal and still a bit too stiff to seem comfortable. He had dressed down for the moment, something Emma was sure he rarely did, and while there was curiosity in his gaze, she wouldn’t say he had the same soft affection for the children. If anything, the King looked intimidated, as if he’d never seen so many little people in one place before. That made Emma’s heart warm to him, but it couldn’t even begin to compare with the next moment that came.

“Hi, Killy’s family,” Cecelia said eagerly, the L’s sounding more like a w in her excitement. In an instant, she stepped away from Henry’s hand with a smile and approached Liam, Eleanor and Meera without fear. They’d all been caught in a kind of quiet moment where no introductions had yet to be made, and Cecelia, it seemed, had no patience for that. She was taking matters into her own tiny hands. “I’s found these for you.”

“Oh my dear, how precious you are,” Meera said crouching low to accept the flower. Emma saw they were all wildflowers from the back way, and she wondered how Cecelia had had the forethought to do this. Then she looked at Henry and she realized this was a joint effort. Damn, her son was as thoughtful and cute as could be.

“Thank you, little one,” Eleanor said happily as she took her flower. “So very kind of you to give us a gift.”

When Cecelia came to Liam and gave him the flower, Emma watched the large man begin to crumble, and a smile formed on his face. Just as with Killian, it was amazing what a smile did for his features. King Liam was handsome already, as Emma expected any man born into this family would be, but when smiling, he looked younger and even more engaging. It felt very much like a rare occurrence, and it brought tears to Emma’s eyes to know Cecelia had faced her own fears to help all of them feel welcome.

From there, Killian accepted a tight hug from Cecelia before introducing them all to his family. The kids, having watched the kindness given to Cecelia, were immediately more comfortable, and just as when Killian first arrived, a sea of questions broke out. But in the midst of that madness, a rather remarkable moment happened. It began with Liam looking at her, and in an instant Emma knew that he knew who she was. They exchanged a nod, an acknowledgement that they’d be better introduced later, but when Liam shifted his focus beside her, his face totally changed. Something like awe and fascination appeared across his features, and Emma looked to see what could be the cause, only to find Elsa with the same starstruck response.

“Are you seeing what I’m seeing?” Emma asked Anna and her friend nodded.

“If what you’re seeing is the King falling in love with my sister at first sight, then yeah, I think we’re all seeing that.”

“Anna,” Elsa said, flushing with embarrassment as she turned to both of them. “It’s not love at first sight.”

“I don’t know, Els, unless you guys have met before, I think Anna might have a point.”

Emma didn’t know if it was her insistence that there was some real chemistry sparking, or the insinuation that they’d met before that threw Elsa, but suddenly she was overcome with emotions and was saved by the baby, so to speak, when Ariana began fussing for some food. Never had anyone looked so grateful to escape, which just made things weirder and weirder. Emma looked back to the King and watched as he closely monitored Elsa’s movements. He appeared to be seconds away from following her when Killian grabbed his arm and redirected him to the kids. A tightness came to Liam’s features, but then he relented and joined the larger group. Henry was in the mix there, and Emma felt her heart in her throat. God, she hoped these people could accept her son. Whether or not they liked her meant less to her. The most important thing in her world was Henry.

As if he could sense her worry, Killian chose that moment to step to Henry, his arm on his shoulder as he further introduced him. Emma could hear the introduction of Henry as Emma’s son, and immediately all of Killian’s relatives looked intrigued and excited. Emma noticed that they paid him some extra attention, and when Killian looked back at her with a grin, she wondered if she should join them. Was this the right moment to do this? She couldn’t be sure. There were so many other people around. It might be a little odd, right? But in the end, it wasn’t entirely up to her.

“All right, everyone. I know we are all eager to greet our guests today, but we have many other things that must be done.”

“You mean like eating lunch?” one boy asked and everyone laughed.

“Joseph, you’ve only just had breakfast an hour ago. No I was thinking more along the lines of getting out into the sunshine and seizing the day. Seems a marvelous day for adventure, what do you all think?”

All of the children were eager for a day in the sunshine, even the older kids who sometimes lacked for enthusiasm. With barely restrained exuberance, everyone made their way outside, and in the meantime, everyone broke apart in groups to do different things. Emma was assigned to the gardens where some outdoor games had been set up, and where a group of kids were out ‘bug hunting.’ It was so funny to watch these kids trying to collect all of these different kinds of insects, especially since she herself didn’t care for bugs. That fancy had never appealed to her at any age, and there were a few kids who heartily agreed. Cecelia was one of them, and instead of engaging with the bugs, she was far more interested in talking about her latest obsession – fairies.

A fierce devotion to these magical, mythical creatures was not something Cecelia alone carried. There were half a dozen little girls who had all glommed onto imaginary games and elaborate stories about faeries over the last few weeks. It all started with a book that Emma read one rainy afternoon, an offshoot of the Peter Pan story wholly focused on the tiny magic weilders. She hadn’t thought much of it when she chose it off the library shelf, but all of the kids at story time had been spellbound, even the boys, and the older girls who had already gone through a similar phase. The interest in faeries had only grown from there. Soon the little girls were asking every adult at the Center for any information they could get on faeries, and the tidbits they’d been given were equal parts funny and adorable.

“Did you know that faeries protect the garden?” Cecelia asked Emma and Emma shook her head.

“I didn’t realize that. But it makes sense, faeries love flowers, right?”

“They do, they do! Just like me.”

“And me too!” a number of the other girls chorused.

“Miss Emma, Cook said that faeries can be mi-mi -michevus,” Evangeline, another little girl noted and Emma bit back a smile at the girl’s inability to say mischievous. Still, at her age, that was a very tall order. “What does that mean?”

“It means that while usually faeries are perfectly behaved, sometimes they cause a little trouble.”

“Like when they moved the special stone in the story and hid it from Peter?”

“Exactly. No one got hurt, but it wasn’t the nicest thing to hide the stone, was it?”

The girls all agreed with that, before a newcomer caught their eyes. Emma followed their gaze to see Queen Meera at the edge of the gardens, having taken a tour of the whole outdoor space. She was smiling at all of them, her beauty really something to behold in the midday sun. Again, Emma was struck by how young the Queen appeared when she had two grown sons, but instead of being intimidated, Emma rallied and offered a welcoming hello.

“Excuse me, I couldn’t help but hear you all speaking of faeries, and I was wondering, have you all found a faerie kingdom here yet?”

“A faerie kingdom?!” They all asked excitedly, and Queen Meera patiently explained a Montennaran legend that hadn’t yet been shared with the children.

“How many of you have heard about Montecarri magic?”

Some of the girls chattered that they had heard, but from the looks on their faces, Emma could tell none of them knew very much about it. Cecelia meanwhile was completely unaware, and all of them looked desperate for more information. Queen Meera sat down beside them on their blanket as she continued.

“Well as you know, Montecarris are very delicious, yes?” The children nodded. “And they’re very important to Montennaro because they only grow here. But montecarri bushes are not our only special plant. We also have trees that only grows within our borders. They’re called Montecarri Dogwoods and legend has it that Faeries build their kingdoms in them because the flowers in the trees branches never die. They bloom in spring and last all summer, and then when winter comes, they close their blossoms but stay intact, protecting the faeries from the cold and the chill.”

“How do we find one?” one girl asked.

“Oh they’re very special trees, that stand out to even the least familiar eyes. They have light gray bark that swirls with shades of cream and ridges all over, some deep and some shallow. These ridges are the doors for the faeries. The safest way for them to travel. Sometimes the trunks also have giant knots, big bulks of wood that are taut and strong, and they are filled with magic. Those knots are the foundations of the faerie kingdom.”

The little girls chattered amongst themselves. The description of the bark sounded like a few trees here, but they were desperate to know if they had a Montecarri Dogwood.

“I don’ts knows so much about trees,” Cecelia said, when none of them could come up with anything. “But I love flowers and I sees all the ones we have here. Even the ones from the trees. What does the magic flower look like?”

“Well, it’s been quite a while since I’ve seen any myself. We have many at the palace, but I never stray too far from my roses, and the trees are farther in our grove of woods. But if I recall they are a mix of pink and pearl, with the slightest tint of yellow in the middle.”

“Oh!” Cecelia said excitedly, patting the Queen’s leg in an exuberant affirmation. “We has a tree like that! It’s over there, see it?” Queen Meera looked over and clasped her hands as if genuinely surprised. Emma knew though that she had seen the tree before. The older woman never would have given these little girls hope without knowing there was one nearby.

The Queen went on to explain how her mother always said faerie kingdoms should be honored and protected, and she ended up giving the little girls a mission that gave them purpose and increased their excitement. Faeries, in this legend, liked flower offerings, and now the girls were desirous to collect lots of wildflowers and leave them all around the tree’s trunk. This new adventure meant they were all still perfectly within view of the others, and Emma was impressed at the Queens’s ability to inspire them all so swiftly.

“That was a beautiful story,” Emma said.

“Indeed it was,” another voice said, and Emma realized it was Queen Eleanor. Oh good. Now she was meeting both Killian’s mother and grandmother without him. Excellent. Despite her nerves, however, Queen Eleanor, at first appearance, proved to be just as kind and welcoming as Queen Meera.

“One of the many folktales I grew up with. My mother never lacked for pretty stories. Funny how something I held so dear at their age was so long forgotten. But it’s like looking at a glimpse of the past. I was like them once, desperate to find magic and hold it in my heart.”

“Theoretically I suppose I was too, but the prehistoric age was so different you see, it’s difficult to distinguish what species of plants were abundant in those times.” Emma let out a low barking sound that would have been a laugh but was stifled at the last second. The comment was clearly comical, but too late she realized she didn’t know Queen Eleanor’s sense of humor. Maybe it was a test, and not a purposeful joke.

“Oh Eleanor, you are so bad. What will Emma think of us?”

“From the laughter she’s bit back, I say my jest has land fairly well. Good thing too. After all these years, you’re all too used to my quips. I’m in desperate need of a new audience. Between Emma and young Henry, I finally stand a chance of receiving the comedic recognition I deserve.”

The mention of her son had Emma looking in his direction, and she was happy to see him kicking around the soccer ball with a number of his friends, as well as Killian and Liam. For the moment his baseball lesson was on the back burner, but this afternoon he’d introduce them all to the sport. In the meantime, he was thoroughly enjoying himself. His smile was evident even from here, and though she couldn’t hear his words, Emma caught the happy tone of her child as it wafted in the air across the way.

“He’s a lovely boy. My goodness the way he was with that little Cecelia this morning, it was just so sweet. But I suspect he gets that generous spirit from you, dear.”

The kind words from Queen Meera made Emma flush pink, but she accepted them, knowing that her son was a good kid and that he would one day grow into an equally good man. She had worked hard to develop and enable his best qualities, and though it was sometimes hard to see her own strengths and good traits, she knew, deep down, that they both shared a loving, hopeful heart.

“We hope you’ll forgive us, Emma, for this lack of traditional introduction. Obviously custom would dictate that we wait until Killian was ready to introduce you and Henry to us all.” Queen Eleanor’s statement was blunt and filled with understanding, if just a tiny bit of frustration. “But you see, patience has never been a particular strength of mine.”

“That is an understatement,” Queen Meera muttered conspiratorially, but Emma could see the affection between the two women.

“When you get to be my age you’ll understand. Time is not promised. It’s of the essence.”

“One thing you’ll come to learn is that my mother-in-law makes regular reference to her age, but she’s fit as a fiddle and likely to outlive every single one of us. She’s also sharp as a tack. Very rarely is there a smarter person in the room.”

“Now, now Meera. Don’t go giving away all my secrets. Let the girl discover them for herself.”

It was hard for Emma to know exactly how to respond. Here were these women, the most important women in Killian’s world, showing her kindness and a willing repartee. It was easy with them, and Emma’s nerves had been settled by their witty banter and their lightness of air. But there was an awful lot of assumption being made in their words. The belief that Emma would definitely be with them enough to learn these quirks and tendencies was loaded, and while Emma was glad that she seemingly had some early approval from Killian’s female relations, she was more than surprised at how bold they were in their estimations.

“In the end, despite the unusual nature of this visit, I believe it’s for the best. Here, we can see you in your most natural state. Correct me if I am wrong, but this seems to be a place where you are truly at peace. You love it here. I see it in the way you are with these children, in how you speak with your friends, and in how you steal glances at my grandson nearly as much as he steals glances of you.”

Ignoring the part about staring at Killian, which was more than a little embarrassing, Emma nodded. “I do feel peace here. The Center reaffirms to me that all the things I believed could be real, truly can be. There’s a way to care for children who need it most in healthy and encouraging ways that make them feel cherished and valued, no matter what life has thrown at them so far. Providing anything less is the product of bad policy and funding shortfalls. I knew that was the case, but seeing it, and feeling what kind of positive impact can be made gives me hope. And as far as I’m concerned, hope and peace really go hand in hand.”

“It’s no wonder he’s so drawn to you. You’re a beautiful woman, but that passion, that belief… yes I believe it’s exactly what Killian’s been needing in his life.”

“And how are you liking Montenarro?” Queen Meera asked, pivoting before any kind of quiet could descend in the face of Queen Eleanor’s commentary. “It’s very different than New York I know.”

Emma’s brow raised at the mention of New York. She hadn’t said where she was from, but then again these women had shown a propensity for knowing a hell of a lot prior to so much as shaking her hand. Someone had probably let it slip at some point this morning.

“This is nothing like New York. It’s really nothing like any place I have ever been before. I didn’t expect anything like this at the beginning. I was so excited about the fellowship, the place we landed was somewhat secondary, but now I couldn’t imagine a better situation, for me or for Henry. We’re both really loving it here. It’s like a long-term holiday, but somehow it’s our life.”

“Oh how wonderful,” Queen Meera said with a delighted smile. “It’s truly better than we planned.”

“Planned?” Emma echoed, not following the word choice, and the looks in the other two women’s eyes were damn near opposites. Meera immediately looked remorseful, like Henry did when he spilled something he hadn’t meant to give away. Eleanor, meanwhile, was flustered for a moment and then pivoted to a calm demeanor, giving only the barest hint of frustration away.

“Oh Meera. Meera, Meera, Meera. What ever will we do with you?”

“Am I missing something?” Emma pressed, feeling the word ‘planned’ as if it weighed a hundred pounds and had settled on her chest.

“I just meant you know, ehrm, how lovely it was for you to take to the country so well.” Stuttering like this from a woman as well spoken and measured as Queen regent of the country? Oh no, Queen Meera was definitely hiding something.

Still, while Emma was wholly unconvinced, she didn’t feel like she could press too hard. Killian’s mother had definitely said the word planned, and now she was way less collected than she had been. For Emma it set off the alarm bells in her head. Meera was verging on a lie right here, but why would the Queen be so open and welcoming with her only to start being evasive and cagey?

“But that’s not what you said, is it mother?”

Killian’s voice was close, and they all turned to find him well within hearing distance. Emma hadn’t noticed his approach before, but there was no denying it now, not when he was so on edge. Instinctively she reached her hand out to him as he came to her, and he took it without hesitation, pressing a kiss to her temple as he came to her side. The action calmed Emma, and felt so natural she didn’t think twice about it until she followed Killian and looked back to the Queens. Only then did she think of how bold it was to do that in front of his mother and grandmother, but while both of them looked on at Emma and Killian with fondness for the display, they were quickly pushed to fend off a new question from Killian.

“What did you mean when you said planned?”

“I meant – well you see, it was just… um?”

Meera was at a total loss for words and eventually she stopped trying, looking to Eleanor for some kind of aid. The older woman was quiet for a moment, weighing her options with the reined in control of a capable monarch. In the end, however, she squared her shoulders, exhaled a long breath, and steadied herself for whatever was to come. Though Emma was curious and a little anxious about whatever they were about to say, she couldn’t help appreciating the humor of the moment. Killian’s Gran was a bit of a diva, and dramatic in a way that didn’t fit with usual imaginings of royalty.

“She means that when you came home in need of a little guidance, we made sure the winds were blowing in the proper direction.”

“And how exactly did you dictate these winds, Gran? What have you two done in the name of commanding the weather?”

“Everything I’ve done, and yes, it was mostly me, so please refrain from being angry with your mother, was in the interest of securing the future of this family.”

“The future... of the family,” he replied. “What right did you have to get involved in my choices?”

“I have every right because I love you, because I want the best for you, and because I know that underneath the pain and the changes you have faced, you are still the same Killy, the same sensitive, loving boy you always have been. We faced a problem at your return. You were unanchored and unhappy. You had seen so much in war and avoided every part of our world here. You needed to come home, but more than that you needed to find something good that was just for you.”

“Yes, I needed to find it,” Killian said, his words low but determined as he squeezed Emma’s hand. She ran her thumb across his shin gently in a quiet show of support and agreement. “And I did. I found Emma. We found each other. Now you’re saying that wasn’t just fate?”

“Well of course it was fate. It was fated that I would do some research and scope out our options.”

“Gran,” Killian said, his voice strained from the bevy of emotions he was facing.

“Killian,” she replied, not in the slightest intimidated by his reaction. “I fear you may be overblowing my abilities to intervene. All I did was speak to Marco about his newest fellow during our quarterly check in. When he gave such a glowing review, I was intrigued, and then I saw Emma’s picture in the file on his desk and I thought it didn’t hurt to read some more. So when he stepped out to speak with Marie, I took it.”

“You took it?” Killian asked, shocked at Eleanor’s bit of thievery.

“Well see there’s where we reach a gray area. Technically I lifted it from the desk, but Jefferson took possession of the documents.”

“Gran?”

“All right, he smuggled them out for me.”

“Gran!”

“What? Marco was none the wiser. I had Jefferson make copies and it was replaced within the day. No one was bothered in the least.”

“I’m bothered, Gran. You shouldn’t have done that. It’s not right.”

“In this case we must agree to disagree, Killian. I believe it was right. In that moment I made a calculation based on hope. I hoped that Emma would take to you as much as you would take to her and that love may come from it. Was the means of achieving that dream unsavory? Perhaps, but I stand by it all the same.”

“But why?” Emma asked, cutting in before Killian could. “You didn’t know me at all. Why go to the trouble? Why take the risk in pushing us together?”

“Well for this, of course,” Gran said, gesturing at the two of them, who had only come closer together as Gran confessed the plot. Instinctively they’d been comforting each other, and it was so clear how in tune they were together. “Sometimes, life hands you a crossroads, a choice amongst the many. It may seem small or even questionable, but it matters. I knew in my bones this was what needed to be done, and while I regret tarnishing your trust in me, I will never regret these actions. My instincts were right. You two are a match, and our Killy has returned, better than ever.”

For a moment it was quiet, as they let the meaning of Queen Eleanor’s words settle. This was a revelation for sure, but for Emma there was no sense of maliciousness. This was the work of a dedicated grandmother, and yes, maybe it was over the top and a bit too heavy handed, but at the end of the day it was also a gift. Without her intervention, Emma and Killian never would have met each other, and that was something too painful for Emma to consider.

“Please don’t be angry with us, darling,” Meera whispered when all was revealed, and only then did Emma notice how rigid Killian still was. This had made him angry, or perhaps it had scared him. She ran her hand along his arm and he looked to her. There was so much in his eyes and she could read that his real worry was her. How did she feel about all of this? She offered him a smile, small but true, and then watched as he exhaled a breath. The stiffness of before had softened, and she knew in that moment the would-be-storm had passed.

“I understand why you did it, and if it brought me to Emma… well I can only be grateful really. But please, for the love of all that is good, let us live our own lives now, please?”

“Absolutely,” Meera said at the same time that Eleanor said “Within reason.”

Despite the lack of total agreement from Killian’s grandmother, Emma had to laugh. It was funny after all, and made all the better when Eleanor put her hands on Killian’s cheeks, looking at him with fondness and love, and sincerely promised never to manipulate a scenario of his heart again. Meera and Eleanor then offered similar promises to Emma, each of them giving her a quick squeeze and an honest apology for any discomfort on her end. She accepted it all, but was grateful for a new interruption. It was finally time for the baseball lesson, and Emma and Killian were both needed straight away.

“Are you sure you’re okay, love? I know it was a lot and I warned you before, but I never imagined…”

“Killian, it’s all good, I promise. It’s just a little meddling. And besides, it worked out in the end, didn’t it?”

“Aye, love. Better than any such plot has a right to.”

Unable to resist, Emma stole a kiss from his lips, melting into the sensation but pulling back before it could become too big a display in front of the kids. It was hard stepping back but she had to, and yet she saw a curious look from Killian that she needed to figure out. She asked him point blank what he was thinking.

“Nothing, Swan. It’s just, well did you notice my Gran’s words? She said no more scenarios of my heart again.”

“Hmm. Makes you wonder, who may still be on her list.”

Without saying it aloud Emma and Killian both knew the only logical option was Liam, and as they looked to him they found him caught up in another bought of staring at Elsa. This time though the would be love birds were closer together, actually interacting, and the electricity between them was palpable. It gave Emma a secondary thrill and she grinned, because as much as Liam was feeling Elsa, Elsa was obviously just as intrigued by Killian’s handsome brother.

“You don’t think she’s planned that too, do you?” Emma asked.

“Truth be told, I wouldn’t put anything past her. Not after all we learned today.”

He made an excellent point, but the more she thought about it the more it made sense. Queen Eleanor must have known about Elsa if she knew about Emma, and perhaps fate may strike twice. Who knew? Maybe brothers could find lovers in the same place. Only time would tell, but by the looks of things, it wouldn’t take much for something to blossom between King Liam and her friend.

“Mom, are you ready?” Henry asked, poised and prepared for an afternoon of Baseball 101. He stood beside Killian, and the two of them looked like a father and son, part of one big happy family that had always been meant to be. In an instant Emma could see that future Queen Eleanor made mention of, and it was perfect and precious and good.

I’ve never been more ready for anything, she admitted to herself, and as she joined her favorite people in a fun-filled afternoon, Emma knew they’d turned another important corner towards the kind of happy ending she wanted most of all. Now all she had to do was tell Killian she loved him and convince him that their future should start sooner rather than later.

Post-Note: Okay so there we have it. The big reveal of Gran’s meddling has finally come, and there was an introduction to another couple I just love writing, which is Liam and Elsa. So funny how I can ship them so much even though they were never on the show together. Anyway, next chapter is actually picking up right after this one. I definitely want to include the truth about Elsa and Anna and also show a glimpse of Emma and Killian getting some alone time together. Not sure when the next chapter will be here, as 2020 is kind of kicking my ass on an energy and motivation level, BUT, I want to thank you all for reading and I’m sending you love and good vibes in these trying times. See you next time and stay safe!

24 notes · View notes

missdawnandherdusk · 4 years ago

Text

Long Live

Draco X Gryffindor!Reader

Part 1 Part 2 Part 3 Part 4

Part 5 Part 6 Part 7 Part 8

Part 9 Part 10 Part 11 Part 12

Part 13

Summary: It was time to face the night and the morning.

Archive of Our Own Link

A/n: y’all this got really cute and fluffy and I don’t know where it came from but it is so soft and precious because I feel like we all need a little break right now. So here you go, it’s soft and sweet. I love you guys so much. Always keep fighting.

My eyes crept open to a familiar place. It was home. My home... in America. My room with en suite bathroom. I patted Draco’s shoulder and he let me down, clearly confused. My feet fell into a familiar pattern as I went to my dresser and pulled out an oversized t-shirt and fleece pants. Blinking, I pulled out another set and tossed them to Draco, who was still baffled.

Trudging to the bathroom, my makeup came off, and my hair was brushed, my dress discarded. In comfortable clothes, I headed back to Draco, whose wardrobe matched mine.

“Where are we?” He asked as I sat on the bed, rearranging the pillows into a well-known configuration. “What is this place?”

“My room. Back home,” I mumbled, rubbing my eyes. “Where did it come from?”

“I don’t know... a door just opened and here it was,” Draco sat beside me.

Laying my head on his shoulder I let my eyes slip closed again. His arm curled around me.

“What a night,” I whispered.

He chuckled.

“I think that’s a bit of an understatement, darling,”

I hummed in agreement and curled up under the covers, taking a deep breath, the scent of home encasing me in comfort. The bed dipped beside me as Draco laid beside me. I rotated, until I was able to lay my head on his chest, my arm draped over him. I felt safer there than I ever had before in my life.

“Night Dray,” I slurred out.

“Goodnight love,” He whispered back. “I love you,” “I love you too,”

My dreams were odd, fading in and out. Nothing that was too concrete or worrisome. It was peaceful: my mother’s arms wrapped around me, Christmas’ past that held magic on their own,

beach days and the summer sun that offered warmth, Draco beside me in the hall or at dinner, the feeling of his hand in mine.

It was safe. It was home.

In my dreams there was no morning to worry about. No conversations, no magic, no wizards, no curses. I got to be free from it all in this room and in my dreams. I got to be muggle again, innocent to the world that hovered around me.

______________________________

Draco watched you as you slept on his chest, a little frown making its way to your face as you fell asleep, but soon smoothed itself out as you fell into a deeper sleep. A smile then appeared on your face, soft and gentle. There wasn’t worry or fear or hurt on your face when you slept. You seemed younger, happier.

Your gentle breathing and the weight of the night eventually pulled him under as well, despite his best efforts.

And for the first time in his life, he didn’t dream at all.

You shifted in your sleep, stretching your legs out and tangling them with his, causing him to wake. He blinked through the darkness and saw that the room around him had changed. It was now his room back home. He wondered why the room had changed on them as the first bits of dawn came in through the window.

Nonetheless, he looked at you, clutching at one of his pillows and the green duvet that draped his bed, and a smile found its way to his face. He never thought that he’d ever see you in his bed looking like it was the most natural thing in the world.

It was almost enough for the horrid memories of hiding in his room and spending long summers alone here with nothing more than house eves as company. You had that effect, taking what was dull and faded and bringing life and color back to it.

“What are you doing?” The question tumbled from your lips. “Go back to sleep,” Grumbling you rolled over and curled yourself into his chest again.

“It’s morning Y/n,” He chided softly.

“I’m on vacation,” You argued with a yawn.

He laughed and sat up, dislodging your position, earning him a rather disgruntled look that he couldn’t help but love as you glared at him. Recognition crossed your face as you realized the change in scenery.

“Your room then?” You mused, stretching and sitting up, letting your eyes wander.

He took a breath and nodded, pulling you into his arms.

“I really don’t want to face today,” The confession was small as you leaned against him. “I... I have no idea how I summoned that Patronus... and I don’t want to have to think about it. Then there’s the rest of the school to face and,” A groan left your lips as you pouted.

Draco pondered her words, adding a few things of his own to that list mentally: he’d have to face his father eventually, and Pansy, he was sure that your friends would never trust him again, and that the entire school wouldn’t listen to what really happened.

“We do it together then,” He whispered softly.

________________________________

Sitting in Dumbledore’s office beside Draco again, anxiety crept into my chest, inching its way into every crevasse.

Dumbledore, with the company of Snape and McGonagall, had us recount the nights events, extracting ever little detail, questioning everything.

“And you ran,” Dumbledore clarified. “What were you thinking my dear? What thoughts were going through your head?”

I pursed my lips, clenching my fists, taking a sharp breath in.

“I’d rather not say,” I whispered.

“Do you understand how important this is Miss Lupine!?” Snape bellowed. “You preformed the most powerful spell known to wizards and you’d ‘rather not say’ what you were thinking!?”

Draco, stood, snarling at the professor, his hand reaching for his wand. McGonagall and I both stepped in the way of the two, calming them both. Draco took a few deep breaths and nodded, hovering close to me still.

I turned back to Dumbledore.

“I... have spent a long time taming my inner thoughts,” I began. “My family has a history of what muggles call depression. Thoughts that act like dementors inside the mind, sucking the soul and life from me.” My voice was even and calm. “I have had a very good handle on them this year, but when...” I trailed off and then picked back up. “They broke free, these thoughts and I fought back against them. I am stronger than them and I am worthy.”

McGonagall smiled softly at me, and Snape seemed to be in shock, as if he never would have guessed. Dumbledore remained composed, however.

“I see,” He nodded. “Well, I do believe that explains it don’t you?”

I frowned and blinked.

“Not really?”

“You said it yourself my dear, you have dementors residing in your mind at all waking hours, and when they overwhelmed you, you called on your Patronus and fought back,”

“Oh,” I gnawed on my lip and nodded. “Alright,”

“Now, I do believe that the two of you have more than deserved this holiday break,” Dumbledore smiled. “But please, stay on school grounds for your safety.”

We both nodded. There were questions in Draco’s eyes about what I had said, but I simply shrugged. I’d answer them, but at another time.

Timid, we both headed down the steps out of Dumbledore’s office and came to the door that would lead us back into the hall.

“Ready?” Draco asked.

“As I’ll ever be,” I muttered and took his hand.

He opened the door, and to my worst fear there was a swarm of students—if not the entire school—outside the door, all looking to us expectantly. Draco and I looked to each other, dumbfounded and lost to what we should do next.

“Long live the Slytherin Prince and the Gryffindor Princess!” Someone shouted who sounded a lot like George or Fred.

Applause erupted around us, students from every school and every house all clapping and cheering as they made a path for us to weave through. My face went red as we walked through the throng of people, familiar faces beaming at me, cheering me on—Gryffindor, Slytherin, Ravenclaw and Hufflepuff alike.

I looked over to Draco, who was beaming beside me, his head held high. I followed suit and we walked, arms linked, together. A laugh escaped my lips as I spotted the Weasley twins who were giving me a thumbs-up, next to them Harry Ron and Hermione waving. I waved back and Hermione ran over to give me a hug. It was then that everyone broke line and swarmed us giving hugs and pats on the back. It was surreal, but I wouldn’t have traded it for the world.

We all filed into the Great Hall for one of the most bizarre lunches I had ever seen at Hogwarts. The House Table rules were thrown to the wind as the students intermingled and sat with each other, all talking of the Yule Ball, the Triwizard Cup.

Draco stayed beside me as people hovered around us, wanting to hear the story. Thankfully Harry, Ron, and Hermione were all up to the challenge of the retelling, so that Draco and I had a moment to actually eat lunch.

The excitement faded as the afternoon lulled to evening and a massive snowball fight broke out in the courtyard. Teams formed then disbanded and it was every man for himself, until someone

else created and alliance and it was a mad house of snow and screams of joy and surprise as an unsuspecting victim got pelted with snow.

I stayed on the outskirts of the fight, not engaging anyone. Wearing Mrs. Weasley’s sweater and Draco’s scarf along with my mother’s coat and gloves, I preferred to stay away from the cold powdery snow. But I grinned, watching Draco run around in the frost, throwing balls of ice and dodging them all the same.

It wasn’t until Fred missed Viktor and the flurry of snow pelted me that Draco really held any alliance. He gave me a look and a smirk, of which I returned and dove into the battle, Draco and I on mission.

Fred and George teamed up automatically, and Hermione, Ginny, and Harry joined Draco and me. Soon sides were chosen in a mix of red, blue, green, and yellow as we all screamed a battle cry and attacked the other side.

For a moment, last night was all but forgotten. Covered in melting snow, I curled into Draco’s side as the battle ended, no winner in sight, but no one walking away a loser either.

Winter break passed, and I honestly had a hard time differentiating days. Draco and I stayed together except at nights when we had to return to our dorm rooms. We spent days taking walks along the grounds in the frost that had turned the school into a wonderland of snow. Somewhere along the way I had adopted his scarf and he had mine. Some nights we would go to the Astronomy Tower to sit and talk, or to dance, or to just be together in the silence and stars.

My dark thoughts stayed chained down and tucked away, giving way to something that felt strong and pure. More than happiness, more than joy.

The feeling of content.

Part 15

Tags: @un-limiteddd @geekysimmerthings @coffee-addicti @ilikestuffproductions @msmcsmutt @ravn-87 @artemismohr18 @whygz @crazywritingbug @dolphincommander @bisexualbumblebeesstuff @fuzzy-panda @bitemebro522 @zombiesnips-blog @jillanaholland @shookyungsoo @savingdraco @welcometomyworldwithoutrules @akari180 @slytherin-emerald @chaotic-good-gemini @memalfoy-spidey @theres-a-dog-outside-omg @queenfeatherwings @fanficflaneuse @go-whovian-universe @spicyshenanigans @darling-im-not-okay-i-promise @dietkiwi @katsukink @takemetothekingdom @strangerr-things @tmnt-queen @mccloudchloe @hxneybgb @justsomerandomgur @belcvayelena @moviesbooksandfandoms @howdycharlie @littlethingsinmymindla @xtrashmouthxtozierx @cocochanelthepupper @ninacotte @mccloudchloe @braelynn-j @jiggllyy @honeymarvel @go-whovian-universe @darcypottah

83 notes · View notes

romansrace · 4 years ago

Text

What If: the season 13 queens had competed in season 12′s challenges?

aka the review where we put to bed the grumblings of ‘omg you just hate Kandy Muse’

So I’m not really enjoying season 13 for a multitude of reasons, as previously discussed. After the season finishes, I’ll post a master-review, but at the minute, I’m feeling that the difficulties leading to the disconnect are something pretty similar to what was going on in season 7: the queens cast and the challenges set them have been something of a mismatch.

As I’ve touched on already on the blog, I feel that the season 13 producers painted themselves into a corner from the off by casting only a small number of queens willing to confront each other or to be fearlessly shady - Kandy Muse, Tamisha Iman, and Kahmora Hall - and sidelining two of them from day 1, ultimately getting rid of them by week 4, leaving just Kandy to single-handedly keep up the drama quotient among 10 other confrontation-averse queens. Smooth.

So what would the run be like if they’d followed instead the season 12 challenges? Under the cut, read on:

Episodes 1 and 2 of season 12 were also a split premiere. I’ve decided to keep the dolls in their original 7 and 6 queen groups; meaning, episode 1′s queens for the Rap Challenge are Tamisha Iman, Rose, Joey Jay, Denali, Utica, Kahmora Hall, and Elliott with 2 Ts. As originally, I see Denali and Rose placing as the top 2 in this challenge and Denali winning the first Top 2 lipsync. Of the others, Elliott and Joey place High, Tamisha places Safe, and Utica and Kahmora place Low.

Episode 2 sees the other 6 queens - Symone, Gottmik, Kandy Muse, Tina Burner, Lala Ri and Olivia Lux performing a cabaret-style song with their own ‘introduce myself’ verses. Symone is a lock for top 2, but instead of Olivia, I see Tina Burner excelling in this format and joining her. Symone still wins, though. Gottmik and Kandy will place Low in this challenge, and Lala and Olivia High.

Episode 3 brings all the queens together for the first Acting Improv Challenge, the talent show auditions. In season 13, Olivia was gifted a role which allowed her to stand out over Symone and Kandy who placed High, but absent that, I think Symone would win, her runway edging her over Kandy. Rose would join them in the top 3. As Kahmora struggled at acting challenges she is a lock for B2 and I see Lala Ri joining her, as she placed B2 in her own improv challenge. Lala of course wins the lipsync sending Kahmora home.

Episode 4 is The Ball Ball. In season 13 this challenge, the bag ball, was won by Gottmik, with Utica high, but I see Utica excelling with the more unconvential material here and taking the win, while Gottmik and Rose place High. Given that Lala struggled with designing based on flat bags, I can only see balls being more of a disaster for her, so she is a lock for B2 now. Joey Jay, who originally placed B2 in her ball joins her, and Lala will beat her in this lipsync to Rihanna’s S&M.

Episode 5 is the Group Acting Challenge. The pregnant woman and commentary mother roles were the two standouts in this challenge, and I see them going to Tina Burner and Kandy Muse. Whichever way around they go, I see Kandy completely stealing the show, and in any case, also having a better runway than Tina, leading directly to Kandy’s first Win this episode. I see the B2 queens being Denali - who struggled in scripted acting in her original season - and for the third time, Lala Ri. The lipsync will be close, but as it’s Lala’s third, she will be sent home while Denali shantays this week.

Episode 6 is Snatch Game. As in her original season, I see Gottmik taking the win here, with Rose and Denali placing High. Kandy, Symone, Tina and Tamisha place Safe, leaving Elliott, Utica, and Olivia as the bottom 3. Based on their original Snatch Games, I personally judged Elliott as the least worst, because at least she understood the challenge and tried. Olivia focused too much on (one aspect of) the impression and forgot to make jokes, while Utica was off the rails. As such, I see an early Olivia-Utica lipsync, with Utica proving to be a surprise lipsync assassin and knocking out fan fave Olivia.

Episode 7, the Madonna Rusical tests the queens’ impersonation and vocal skills. There’s no question in my mind that Rose wins this challenge. I feel that Tina - for her singing, and Denali - for her dancing, would join her in the top 3. The bottom 3 I see being Symone, who originally placed B3 in her challenge, Gottmik, and the still-with-us Tamisha Iman who would struggle with some of the dancing and perhaps also the singing. I see Symone being spared the B2. I am confident that although Gottmik isn’t the strongest lipsyncer, she would be able to decisively enough beat Tamisha - who as we know, was competing with a medical impairment - and shantay.

By episode 8, we have eight queens remaining - Gottmik, Symone, Denali, Rose, Kandy Muse, Tina Burner, Utica and Elliott with 2 Ts, which isn’t too far off where Season 13 landed. This episode’s challenge is the Commercial Advertising Challenge - the challenge we’ve just had in season 13. We know from that challenge that Rose and Symone will excel, and with single-winners in season 12, I see Rose winning this challenge with Symone placing High. While I personally didn’t enjoy Kandy’s offering in season 13′s ad challenge, it remains a performance challenge and she should do well enough to get a High placement again, with likely a better runway than she had in season 13′s episode. Gottmik, Utica and Tina will struggle with this challenge and Mik’s runway will save her, as in S13. Utica, as we know, beats Tina in the lipsync.

Episode 9 is the Political Challenge. As one of the most political queens in the cast, with strong improv chops, I see Symone winning this challenge - and probably giving us a legendary Stars and Stripes runway, perhaps akin to Widow Von Du’s black power look in original S12. While Rose might do well, I see Kandy and Gottmik doing better and taking the two High placements this week, with Rose placing Safe. I feel that Elliott, Utica and Denali would struggle in this challenge, and I see a B2 of Denali and Elliott. It would be an epic lipsync, but Denali would win and send Elliott home in a respectable 7th place.

Episode 10 brings the Superfan Makeover challenge, and this cast with their signature makeup styles would make this an epic makeover. I can’t see past Gottmik taking the victory here, with Kandy Muse as a professional makeup artist, and Symone, who killed the S13 makeover, placing High. If you aren’t High, you’re in the bottom 3, so our remaining original porkchop queens Rose, Denali and Utica are this week’s bottoms. I see Utica, having done something more creative on the look, being saved here for the drama of a late-game Rose-Denali lipsync... which, as in the original S12, would end with an emotional double shantay.

Our six remaining queens move on to Episode 11, the Standup Comedy One-Woman Show challenge. I see either Rose or Kandy winning this challenge, and I think that Ru would probably give the win to Kandy if they were level pegging. I could see Gottmik telling a personal story with humorous elements akin to Jackie’s approach in the original S12, and also placing High here. Meanwhile, I think both Utica and Symone would struggle with this challenge, with Denali doing not much better... but enough to save herself from the B2. I see Symone eliminating Utica in this lipsync.

Finally our top 5 queens - Symone, Rose, Denali, Gottmik (so many single-names) and Kandy Muse make it to the top 5 Vegas performance episode. Unfortunately, as we know from original season 13, only two of these queens excel at performance challenges with a dance and live singing element. As such, I see Rose handily winning this final challenge, with Denali placing High, taking the first two final spots. Of the remaining queens, I think Gottmik would be given the Safe placement through to the final, while Kandy and Symone would lipsync for the final place. Which... I think would go to Symone, with Kandy taking the Vanjie-Katya 5th place elimination just before the final.

This would give us a top 4 queens of Rose, Symone, Gottmik and Denali to go on to a lipsync-for-the-crown finale. With the track records looking like this:

If, in this universe, we’d managed to dodge covid, song choice would need to be carefully made to eliminate Denali before top 2, as she would be a powerful lipsync threat to the other three.

However, with a lipsync-from-home finale as we ended up having in S12 in 2020, I could see Denali being eliminated in the first round, not having the stage space to perform her strongest routines - and being banned from ice, probably!

In any case, I can see Symone being the eventual winner of the season. She will pick up the joint-most number of wins in the competition - three, with Rose - and is, as Ru likes, a queen with political engagement and awareness of the world around her, as well as having a unique take on fashion that plays tribute to her heritage, as was the case with S1 winner Bebe Zahara Benet.

Just goes to show how differently a season can go when different aspects of a queen’s repertoire are tested! I think this might have been a more enjoyable watch... but who knows. What do you think? ~Roman

#what if #drag race what if #drag race season 12 #drag race season 13 #rpdr12 #rpdr13 #symone #denali #rose #gottmik #kandy muse #reviews #romansrace

4 notes · View notes

mirkysconcubinefiction · 4 years ago

Text

Quietly Jaded

Pairing: Omega!Peter/Alpha!Kingpin -- Omega!Peter\Avengers.

Summary: Peter Parker is an Omega masquerading as a Beta. A story of student loans, Avengers wanting Spiderman, Avengers wanting Peter Parker for his Omega status, and Peter just done with them. He doesn't need them - he already has an Alpha. Not the best Alpha but... Well... Fuck.

Tags: Major AU, ABO world, Heats/Ruts, Drug Abuse, Dark Personalities, College Peter, Dubious Consent, more added later.

Part 1

Peter hadn't always been the silent type. It grew on him with time. Losing friends, losing family, it was just easier to not talk than to talk - besides school there wasn't much to talk about.

Not like he could discuss being Spiderman?

With college dreams came college debt and even with grants and scholarships, student loans kept a roof over his head and food in his stomach.

Legally no one had to know his gender. He didn't act like most Omegas or Alphas so many people presumed he was a beta which wasn't a bother.

Betas were a safe median.

If Peter Parker was a Beta then so was Spiderman.

Hero's or vigilante's of justice weren't titles Omegas carried. Not that they were incapable but mostly the world was a shitty place and he was safer as a Beta than Omega.

No worries of being snatched.

No worries of his degree somehow being mishandled.

No worries of being treated like a damsel in need of a minder. Modern America, as progressive as any first world country, was still archaic in nature to a Omegas ability to cope outside of a Pack or Alphas knot.

It started as a curiosity or so that's how Peter saw it as. The Avengers paying attention to him was... Unneeded but the geek in him was intrigued.

First was Tony Stark aka Iron Man who appeared from nowhere one cool Autumn evening. It was a quiet night, the witching hour, a time where nothing really happened in the never quiet city. Sitting on a swing made from his webs he was eating a sandwich from his favorite bodega. The grandmother of seven never took no for an answer after he had saved her life and that of her children several times over the years and had even knitted him a scarf once.

Peter still had that scarf.

Mask pulled up to sit along the ridge of his nose he had sat staring out into the world with a gargoyle above him for company.

"You're softer than I pegged you for."

His senses didn't tingle and that alone kept him there, hanging like a booger from an impossibly high building, and taking a much deserved bite from his sandwich. A cuban torta with extra adobo.

"So. Kid. Got a name?"

Silence.

Peter chewed and ignored the floating man whose stare went from curious to frustrated.

"It's rude to not speak when spoken to."

Shoving the last of his food into his mouth Peter wiped the crumbs from his chin, pulled down his mask, and with a thumbs up, ripped an end of his webbed swing.

Plummeting like a bowling ball down... Down... And with a well-aimed (practiced) web swung himself away from sight. Iron Man wouldn't find him, not when Peter knew of a well hidden niche that he could slip into and not be seen or leave a heat signature.

Something that Iron Man was trying to do and Peter was grateful for his sensitive ears.

Next was Captain America. Decked out in his uniform and shield. It was a pretty wicked shield and one that Peter had caught before it could hit the cyborg that was destroying a nameless street of the city.

Spiderman ignored the shouts of 'traitor' and the arrows that followed him but Peter was more than a flexible arachnid. He was quite familiar with this street. It was the street that housed a shit ton of kids.

Kids that had loved it when he opened the fire hydrants or handed out frozen pops because Peter loved kids.

Not because he was an Omega.

Hell no.

He just loved kids. Kids loved him and thought he was cool.

Using the shield to block the occasional laser blast - because of course lasers - Peter lead the cyborg away. His webs helped to drag the thing and keep it from swinging wildly but Peter was more than bendy, more than, web's, he was strength and endurance.

While the others had stopped trying to kill him - yes those were kill shots - Peter managed to drag the hefty piece of machinery away. Feet digging into the concrete, one hand fisting a bundle of his webs as the other held close to a shield that left his hand tingly.

From the sewers a mass of crab like machines took the Avengers attention and as he finally reached an open area of an eight lane street Peter didn't panic when the cyborg finally broke free. The webbing shredding and as he fell from the slack Peter turned and tucked himself behind the shield in time for a powerful beam to hit the Vibranium and drag him backwards from the force.

Even in the face of death he thought it was cool. So cool.

This wasn't his first time facing a cyborg. A giant imitation of a man decked out in weaponry with a human brain attached in its center. Cyborgs bled green and their eyes were yellow pinpoints of awareness.

Cool but creepy.

Very creepy.

With one hand he sent out a web, latched onto a bus and swung it towards the cyborg that put all its attention to the massive vehicle, using each arm to fire laser beams - still so cool - missing Captain America's shield that hit where the brain sat.

Right side, 8 inches from the center, shield at a 70° angle.

A stream of green blood - plasm - and brain matter coated the streets. The shield hit the ground at a roll and lodged into the side of a brick building. A hair's breadth away from the man who had aimed arrows at his head.

Peter was sad that he missed. Not that he couldn't have killed the man but Spiderman had an image to keep up and he was sure kids were peaking through blinds.

If Hawkeye stared at the shield with wide-eyed 'what the fuck', Peter accepted that as payment.

Asshole.

Had Peter been... Well... Nicer... He would have thrown himself back into the fray helping the Avengers finish iff the crab robots except Peter wasn't that nice and he wasn't that forgiving.

Padding to the twitching machinery Peter took a moment to web himself a mat on the ground and take apart the cyborg. He was quick, knowing exactly what he wanted and where to find it, bundling it in his own web Peter pulled up the edges and folded the edges together and without a backwards glance he left.

Fuck the Avengers.

As Spiderman Peter had the nasty habit in bumping into random heros with hero size complexes and it got to the point where he just waved at the several who tried to stalk him.

They weren't as stealthy as they thought they were.

As Peter Parker there was no Avengers just debt and homework. The two worlds very rarely collided. Peter Parker was a nobody... Well... He was on the Deans List and top 12% of the university when it cam to grades even if his attendance was far from stellar.

Thankfully he had made a friend with a doctor who wrote really nice perfectly excusable doctor notes.

He had done the math. It would be a 2.8% chance he would catch the eyes of anyone Hero related. Nothing he did as a regular schmoe would catch anyone's attention.

Really.

Honestly.

Of course he never fraction in his own Parker Luck.

Fuck his Parker Luck and Fuck his inability to think properly after a near 27 hours of no sleep and a lab all to himself. At 1am he had the building to himself and the key card to prove it!

At 1 am and still wide-eyed with a brain that wouldn't shut off, Peter shouldn't have been allowed near anything that contained chemicals besides H2O. Instead he had 2 walls dedicated to his scribbles with a rainbow of color - thank you crayola - a pyramid of Styrofoam microwaveable ramen and a teetering tower of hot pocket boxes, and a keurig.

He had an unlimited - well half a box left - of hot chocolate to tide him over and a bag of mini marshmallows to keep the shakes away as he worked on his thesis. Technically his thesis was typed, edited, and awaiting a last read through BUT he was stuck.

He was so close to creating the perfect drug that he was vibrating with a desperate energy as his friends - the machines scattered around the room - worked to show him if his calculations were correct or he had to start again.

Staring at the board Peter needed to distract himself from the whirring and beeping. Headphones in place he jump started his bluetooth and filled the silence with his google playlist set to play his thumbs up.

As it was so late and he was alone in the building Peter didn't think singing along to his playlist would be a big deal. Being an Omega he had few quirks that were... Questionable.

Omega's were notorious for their allurement beyond their scent. Many were artists, creators of music, rhythm, designers, they were architects, chefs, Omegas were once considered Sirens and Muses of the God's... While Peter could sketch and recite the periodic table backwards and forwards he could sing.

There was something about his voice that could draw attention or put someone to sleep if he so wished. A lullaby sung softly and with his will alone he could hush a colicky baby in minutes much to the relief of the parents he had babysit for.

Peter blamed Toni Braxton.

Peter blamed the open windows to the lab.

Peter blamed the chaos that happened less than a mile away from the University and the Hulk that somehow broke away from the group and all but bulldozed himself to the lonely building off set from the rest of the school.

Peter blamed... Well... He blamed Tony Stark for being a nosy douche of a man and tuning into the voice singing a very heartfelt rendition of un-break my heart.

Outside the lab Tony watches as the Hulk shifts back to being just Bruce and the man is swaying, "Omega."

Tony's gaze swivel down to where Bruce is laid out on the ground, dazed. "What?" Had he heard the man right.

"Hulk..." It was difficult to speak so soon after a change but Bruce managed one more word, "Omega." And it didn't take much to put two and two together and Tony moved until he was hovering by the only window lit out of the building.

Hair a mess, clothes askew, ass perched on the a desk, sat a young man staring at a dry erase board and hands moved with each dip and rise. The boy was moving, a dry eraser in one hand and a purple marker in another as he wrote a different scribble.

Tony was smart, brilliant even, but even if he squinted he couldn't make out what was written. There was numbers with familiar sequences but even JARVIS who had scanned the room was at a lost and suggested the scribbles were a code.

Quiet filled the room and he took that moment to shush his team and soon another song had the younger man humming, head nodding to a beat.

"Send away for a priceless gift One not subtle, one not on the list Send away for a perfect world One not simply, so absurd In these times of doing what you're told

Keep these feelings, no one knows

What ever happened to the young man's heart? Swallowed by pain, as he slowly fell apart..."

Maybe he was just tired but Peter didn't feel the eyes watching him. There was no warning from his spider senses just a quiet madness as he darted through the room. The keurig churning out hot chocolates and fueling the madness of no sleep and rainbow scribbles.

A.M. comes with bright lights and failure.

It was tempting to swipe the board clean but Peter was passed out under the only desk that would block out the sun with his lumpy backpack as a pillow.

It's an awkward way to sleep but Peter isn't picky. He's slept in worse conditions, even upside down once, and he had a 48 hour hold on that particular lab.

The click of the door unlocking doesn't wake him. The tap of heeled leather Oxford shoes doesn't wake him as said shoes stroll through the room until they pause right where he was sleeping.

Eye's hidden by sunglasses worth more than all the textbooks he was sleeping on, Peter didn't notice the frown on the man's face or the flurry of texts the man was sending before he crouched and woke Peter with a gentle nudge.

What did wake Peter was his alarm on his phone. A far too loud alarm that startled him enough he jerked awake, banging an elbow and his head on the desk. Swearing a storm, mind addled by sleep, Peter fumbled for his phone and dropped it.

Blinking at the pair of dress shoes, Peter held his breadth as he looked up... And up... Into familiar brown eyes. "Who the fuck are you?"

An eyebrow arched, "Everyone knows who I am."

No. Spiderman knew Tony Stark. Peter Parker could care less. "Are you lost?"

"Nope." The man rocked on his heels, eyes gazing around. "Came to see you. Interesting finding someone like you here of all places."

Peter frowned, "I'm not squatting. I wouldn't be the first person catching a nap trying create something big."

"Big hu?" His hands slipped into his slack pockets, "the hot pockets are shit for your metabolism by the way."

"They're cheap and I'm broke. I'm guessing you wouldn't understand the concept of broke." Peter tried to lay back down and cover his eyes with his arm, legs folded.

"Yet with no full-time job you somehow have managed to chip away at your student loans. I'm impressed."

A warning buzz settles over him and Peter keeps himself as nonchalant as he can unwilling to give the Alpha the show of panic that he felt. "This is a school of side hustles. Take your pick and leave."

A moment passes in quiet but Tony doesn't leave. Why would he? "Quite rude." The man murmurs, "Is that anyway to..."

"Leave before I call security." Peter interrupts, "You're a strange old man alone in a room with a sleeping student, only perverts stay where they're not wanted."

"Pervert? Pervert!"

"Yes. Pervert." Arm dropping away Peter made a point to glare into the yellowish hue of the glasses. "I've asked you to leave and you refuse. You are not my professor or the janitor. This is my lab and either you picked the lock or bribed someone and I'll be sure to tell the Dean that a creepy old man was allowed into his building to harass a student."

"Actually this is my lab. I own this building." Tony expected some form of recognition instead he got snark.

"Did you piss on the wall or write your name on it like a petulant child?"

It's not often that Tony finds himself without words but his lips part in surprise before. He lets out a whoosh of air shakes his head. "For an Omega you're a mouthy little thing."

The quiet is met with Peter blinking and Tony waiting. If Peter was smart he would have immediately denied any accusation or stood in righteous anger... Instead the younger man laughed. "That..." Peter folded his hands on his stomach and grinned, "is quite a compliment thank you." Tony frowned and Peter batted his eyelashes. "I'm pretty enough to pass for an Omega has to be the nicest thing anyone has said to me this semester."

"Just this semester?" Tony couldn't help but ask.

"Yep."

The quiet stretched far longer than was comfortable and Tony sighed, "I have a proposition for you."

"No."

His carefully constructed speech and patience flew out the window as he was interrupted, "No?"

"No." Peter repeated, slowly. "N. O." He spelled out just in case.

"No? You can't tell me no."

"I can, I did, and I don't care." Peter frowned before he unfolded himself and crawled out from under the desk and brushed the dust off his wrinkled two-day old clothes, "Alphas who can't accept a no and argue over the word are a danger to society." Tony wasn't sure how someone that wasn't eye level could make him feel small.

"Do you know who I am?" The kid arched a brow, took a step back, and eyes him from the tips of his shoes to his perfectly coiffed hair.

"Yes." Tony preened, "You're a misogynistic ass hole who thinks you can walk into my lab unannounced and get away with harassing a student and bringing up genders as if the position of my scent glands justifies your casual dismissal of my constitutional rights. You can't belittle or coerce me into agreeing to anything you have to say based on your purse strings or that you imply ownership on a building that was built from multiple donations. If I was an Omega I have every right to kick you in the nuts and get away with scratching your eyes out."

Tony's lips pressed into a firm irritated line.

"Seeing as I'm not I'll just settle for telling you to get the fuck out of my lab or I will scream murder. I'm a beta on beta kinda guy, so keep your paws off my no-no spots."

It was unexpected, Tony twitched as Peter's hands touched him - shoved him really - right out the door. Tony would never admit to sputtering or tripping over his own feet as he was pushed out the lab and the door firmly locked behind him.

Confused and slightly embarrassed he adjusted his blazer and nonchalantly walked away. I'm a beta on beta kinda guy... the words are like oil and water, his skin tingles where the younger man's hand roamed, the heat that made that primal part of his brain rear up and whisper Omega.

Spiderman was an escape.

There was times when he could swing away his worries with dizzying feats of near deaths, the adrenaline rush doing more for him than any drug on the market.

There was times, like that morning, when he would climb to the highest point, tuck himself into a corner, and hide. He was a millennial with a safe space and it was the safest space to exist in N.Y.

Just him and the pigeons.

Times like this he wondered how far he could fall without instinct there to make him survive and carry on another day?

Curling in on himself he hugged his knees tight to himself and let the tears fall. It wasn't often that he cried but when he did it was usually quiet and when he was alone. No one could see him weak, no one could see him break, no one could... A trumpet broke his depressive silence. An unexpected noise at an impossible height except it was a drone.

The four propellers were whisper quiet and a white flag waved in the wind.

"Fuck." Summed it up.

A 3d hologram appeared and it was the image of Princes Leia kept him sitting, curious, vs jumping off the ledge. "Hello itsy bittsy spider."

Peter narrowed his eye's and flicked out a web, the drone was quick to swerve.

"You're cordially invited to attend a gathering..." Diving off the building was a better option than listening to Tony Stark invite him to a Tea Party as if they were friends. You don't forgive people who tried to kill you.

Especially if they didn't apologise.

Especially if they stalked you.

Since being bitten by a radioactive spider like some weird comic book character, Peter had gone through physical and mental changes. Presenting as an Omega had come later, in fact his first spike of heat happened during a particular difficult battle with none other than Kingpin himself.

It had been a gory fight with Peter having to plow through layers of underlings from normal everyday thugs to enhanced goons that were blood thirsty to get the bounty Kingpin had put on his head.

It was a hefty bounty too.

Just enough where Peter contemplated killing himself off for profit. Kingpin had been his usual boastful self and holding a weapon that was more sci-fi than the usual glock.

They had stood in a penthouse that had made him hyper aware he was dripping blood on the cream-colored carpet and the beautiful statues were judging him.

Kingpin had a spiel like all super villains and Peter had listened as his mind raked over how he would survive this encounter when the A.C. kicked on. Cool filtered air pushed from the vents, Peter had shivered as it passed over his heated flesh that peaked from the patches of bare skin, it had taken moments for that devilish curl of the Kingpin's lips to unfurl and something else come forth.

Kingpin was a force of human nature. Built by weights and sheer spite. He was aggression, darkness, he was the devil amongst demons, he was a pendulum that swung between the dark side of the underworld and the light side of a family man.

Most importantly.

Kingpin was an Alpha.

An Alpha tied to a Beta and a son.

Dark blue eyes shifted, bleeding red before the massive bulk of a man lifted the gun and fired a single shot. The sizzle of the blast prickled the side of his face as the beam shot over his shoulder and the thump of a body falling told him that his spider senses were off.

Peter had studied many things but Omegean Biology wasn't one of them. He knew the fundamentals like many but the liquid fire that pooled at the base of his spine and slithered its way up left him standing rigid and an ache between his legs had him hissing.

Peter didn't remember closing his eyes, he didn't hear Kingpin move, his senses were so out-of-order he flinched when a large hand settled atop his head. "Shhh." Peter felt himself tugged into Kingpins girth, it had made him tremble and a whine had escaped him.

Later. Much later. Peter would learn that the man who was intent on killing him had cuddled him on an impossibly massive bed, the Alpha crooning, hands that could bend steel caressed him like a lover would, and for three days helped him through his first heat.

"Call me Wilson. Wilson Fisk."

Awareness had come in doses. The feel of soft cotton against his bare skin, the slick between his thighs, the ache somewhere deep and personal, classical music played in the background drowning the hitch in his chest, relief had been a burst of gratitude as shaky fingers touched the familiar texture of his torn mask.

The stretchy fabric cover his nose an encircled his cheeks and curved along his brow, seemingly glued to his skin. Hair, ears, lips, and chin were as exposed as the rest of him.

Before Peter could sit up a hand came from no where and settled on his chest, thumb and finger digging into his collarbone as he was pushed back into the mattress.

Pliant.

Weak.

A mess.

Kingpin was a solid presence he hadn't noticed until that moment. Hard naked lines with impossibly wide shoulders and solid smooth skin with not a hint of hair except for two perfectly sculpted eyebrows that furrowed in contemplation. "Where do we go from here Spiderman?"

It had been when that hand slipped and encircled his throat did Peter feel his body involuntarily move. Legs splaying openly and back arching as a familiar haze of arousal overwhelmed the need to run.

Wilson was an exceptional lover. His first Alpha, his first Knot, Peter never expected to be the Mistress of his arche nemesis, he didn't expect to have heats that were bursts of short frequent intervals, he didn't expect the open invitation to spend it with the Alpha, and he didn't expect the absolute possessiveness of Wilson or just how much control an Alpha like Wilson had over an Omega like Peter.

"Save the world but you will not interfere with my organization and you will be my most prized possession."

It was a story twisted by biology, twisted by the illogical logic of an emotion one could say was love if you squint, and the reason Spiderman dressed as a different character jumped from the side lines and into traffic, using his strength to flip a car that was chasing the Kingpin.

It rankled something deep that the urge to protect made him feel like a villain and the mocking laughter of Kingpin getting away hit him hard.

Fighting The Avengers to keep the Alpha alive had never been part of the plan, watching the chase from a random store front window, hearing the helicopters, it was a spur of the moment decision to steal a face bandana with a skull smile and a pair of polarized wide swimming goggles.

Running fast and hard he didn't use his webs and instead focused on his natural talent and that primal urge to protect the knot-head responsible to keep him blissed out for his next upcoming heat.

Toe to toe with Captain America and the Winter Soldier was... Thrilling. As Spiderman there was an awareness of maintaining his cool but as a stranger with a cheap mask and flannel shirt Peter could catch the Winter shoulders Vibranium arm and force the man to the ground before kicking Captain America's shield and tossing the pompous soldier away like a rag doll.

Peter's body moves on auto pilot as he flips backwards and moves with grace and fluidity as a mess of weaponry aim for him. Between Iron Man's blasts, Hawkeyes arrows, Black Widows bullets, Peter feels like he's dancing on the edge of death and it leaves him feeling hot and aroused.

Slipping beneath an abandoned truck he sticks his hand on the underside and with hard pushes against the asphalt he uses the truck to plow through what traffic is left and holding his breadth Peter pushed up with his leg and the truck flipped, the roof smashing on the ground and catching sparks.

Letting out a whoop, his flannel shirt wafting in the air he grinned behind the mask as he surfed for a stretch of time before coming to a halt and with Iron Man trailing him Peter ran.

Hard.

Fast.

Through the city.

Forcing the Avengers to chase him and not Kingpin.

More later...

*Part 2*

34 notes · View notes

bi-makes-pie · 4 years ago

Text

"I'm her best enemy" Playlist [ PART ONE - Songs 1 to 30]

Click READ MORE to see the whole list

1. Nemeses (feat. John Roderick) – Jonathan Coulton I mostly see this as being in the Master’s POV.

“Could it be that you need me To keep you out, to run you faster Promise me you'll let me be The one, the worst of all your enemies”

2. Crazy – Burn the Ballroom 12 to Missy. This one is quite cute. He does calls her mad, but we all know the Doctor isn’t exactly the perfect picture of sanity either.

“She had problems with my love connections So she bought me bullets and she made corrections (…) I'd say crazy, doll, but you've got something different I'd say complicated but that's your kind of rhythm I'd say lost and you'd say love

But you're crazy not to see That you're crazy just like me...”

3. Silence – Citizen Shade This kinda makes me picture the Doctor trying to give in and settle down with the Master (any version) while dealing with the inner conflict that they’re far too cruel for their taste.

“I found peace in your violence Can't tell me there's no point in trying I'm at one, and I've been silent for too long”

4. Dangerous Man - Little Dume This alternates between the Doctor’s POV and the Master’s. But you can also interpret it as being 100% about any version of the Doctor, since they do have a dark side.

“Every bone in my body's bad Fire's burning, the skies are turning black They say I'm a dangerous man” “Can you hear the storm's a coming I'm a silver in the lining There's a spark in me They say I'm a dangerous man Better run fast as you can Don't you look back”

5. Under Covers – LeRiche A bittersweet song about two people who had this precious friendship and love for each other, and about how distance can keep it all bottled up but once they give it a chance, they immediately go right back to the start. Just fits them very well, if you picture a happy ending to their relationship.

“I don't know why you're looking for a friend I'm right by your side But out here from a distance You won't look me in the eyes Without your love, I think I could die Then you let me in, we go back to beginnings When we were just friends hanging out on the ceiling We'll laugh about love and how we felt for one another And I love the way we make up under covers”

6. The Scientist – Coldplay A song about longing to make things right again and with little analogies involving science? I mean…

“Nobody said it was easy It's such a shame for us to part Nobody said it was easy No one ever said it would be this hard Oh, take me back to the start”

7. Renegades – X Ambassadors The “They actually stole a TARDIS and ran away together from Gallirey” AU we need so much

“Run away with me Lost souls and reverie Running wild and running free Two kids, you and me And I say Hey, hey hey hey Living like we're renegades”

8. Love is War – American Young I like how cute this song is and yet there is a bit of a dark twist. Fits them.

“Sometimes love is all that can save us Sometimes love can kill a man Yeah sometimes love is a soft touch Or a pistol in your hand Sometimes love is a white flag (...) Sometimes a cannon ball But it's worth fighting for Baby, sometimes love is war”

9. Bury a friend – Billie Eilish (Cover by Pomplamoose) Master’s POV. Can apply to any of their regenerations but I think of Simm!Master the most, since Ten tends to run towards him rather than walk away from him.

“What do you want from me? Why don't you run from me? What are you wondering? What do you know? Why aren't you scared of me? Why do you care for me? When we all fall asleep, where do we go?”

10. Come as you are – Nirvana (Cover by Imaginary Future) Best Enemies, everyone. Master’s POV again.

“Come as you are, as you were As I want you to be As a friend, as a friend As an old enemy (…) And I swear that I don't have a gun No, I don't have a gun”

11. Turn – The Wombats Academy!Era, Doctor’s POV. Theta (Doctor) clearly has a crush on Koschei (Master) and they’re both love being chaotic together.

“I like the way your brain works, I like the way you try To run with the wolf pack when your legs are tired I like the way you turn me inside and out I like the way you turn I like the way your brain works Baby, it's the crazy I like I think I saw the world turn in your eyes”

12. Run – Snow Patrol Master’s POV if he was ever able to be honest about his feelings. Some parts can easily be read as the Doctor’s POV too.

“You've been the only thing that's right In all I've done And I can barely look at you But every single time I do I know we'll make it anywhere Away from here”

13. Maps - The Front Bottoms The Doctor’s POV as their relationship deteriorates after the Academy and he plans to steal the TARDIS and leave Gallifrey and his friend behind. I had to help myself from quoting the whole song because IT REALLY FITS SO WELL.

“There is a map in my room, on the wall of my room And I've got big, big plans (…) You say 'I hate you', you mean it And 'I love you' sounds fake It's taken me so long to figure that out I used to love the taste, I would do anything for it Now I would do anything to get the taste out of my mouth (…) "And what about your friends, Don't you love them enough to stay?" And I say, "If I don't leave now, Then I will never get away." Let me be a blue raft on the blue sea, I'll blend right in”

14. Old College – The Mountain Goats This fits the tiresome, sad, manipulative and draining part of their relationship.

“The warning signs have all been bright and garish Far too great in number to ignore (…) Our love has never had a leg to stand on From the aspirins to the cross-tops to the Elavils

But I will walk down to the end with you If you will come all the way down with me”

15. Like a Staring Contest – The Future Kings of Nowhere Covers the end of their friendship and start of the new enemies dynamic.

“I'm so tired of open warfare When the point of this was to be best of friends (…) When you fall in love as hard And recklessly as you and I do It seems that the final act should have The same intensity as the first scene”

16. Poison and Wine – The Civil Wars Reminds me of 12 and Missy but before Series 10.

“You only know what I want you to I know everything you don't want me to Oh your mouth is poison, your mouth is wine You think your dreams are the same as mine Oh I don't love you but I always will”

17. Genesis 30:3 – The Mountain Goats The mentions of a past relationship and the following lines followed by drums really make me picture this as Simm!Master and Ten getting a happy but bittersweet ending.

“For several hours we lay there, last ones of our kind Harder days coming, maybe I don't mind Sounds kind of dumb when I say it, but it's true I would do anything for you”

18. Blood Under The Bridge – Frightened Rabbit Could literally be any version, but I picture Dhawan!Master and 13 making amends here, mostly because he might be crazy and frenetic but behind that façade he’s clearly way more tired than she ever will be.

“And it's alright, it's alright It's just blood under the bridge And I'm too tired to fight And you're sick of feeling sick And so am I It's alright It's just blood under the bridge”

19. Even Though Our Love is Doomed – Garbage Missy’s POV. You can interpret this like her train of thoughts and reflections starting from early Vault days to the last time we see her on-screen. Reluctance, guilt and then the resolution.

“Come a little bit closer I need to understand Why we kill the things we love the most (…) Can you love me for what I've become Love me for what I Said that I would not become 'Cause they don't burn like I do (…) And even though our love is doomed And even though we're all messed up You're the only thing worth fighting for” You're the only thing worth dying for”

20. Starlight – Muse 12 and Missy during the episodes World Enough and Time and The Doctor Falls.

“Now I'll never let you go If you promised not to fade away Never fade away Our hopes and expectations Black holes and revelations”

21. Control – Halsey This screams Missy to me, especially since she literally incorporates the character of the evil nanny in her book (The Missy Chronicles) and in Big Finish’s audio dramas.

“I'm bigger than my body I'm colder than this home I'm meaner than my demons I'm bigger than these bones

And all the kids cried out, "Please stop, you're scaring me" I can't help this awful energy God damn right, you should be scared of me Who is in control?”

22. Enemy – Woodlock End of Academy!Era. Yet another song which reminds me about their early fighting days and the end of their friendship.

This is where it begins At the start of an end I could no longer pretend No more, you walked out the door You’re my enemy

23. Why Can't We Be Friends? – The Academic The title says it all. The lyrics also mention how the relationship is always turning into something new, so I had to associate with the longest friends to lovers to enemies we’ve ever seen on television.

“This world is pointless If you're not here This world is pointless If we're not self-destructing love And it falls and it breaks and it turns into something new And it falls and it breaks and it turns into something”

24. Wish That You Were Here – Florence + The Machine Doctor’s POV, in the days when he regrets leaving Gallifrey for a couple of seconds before turning to occupy his with something else. Because he knows that even if he went back, things aren’t the same and everyone has changed – including him.

“And I never minded being on my own Then something broke in me and I wanted to go home To be where you are But even closer to you, you seem so very far

And it's beautiful but there's that tug in the sight I must stop time traveling, you're always on my mind”

25. No Light, No Light – Florence + The Machine This one makes me picture the first moment the Doctor realized his friend had changed too much and had to choose between his own feelings and standing for what’s right. This happens A LOT in the show, but I imagine realizing that for the first time was the hardest.

“But would you leave me If I told you what I've done And would you leave me If I told you what I've become No light, no light in your bright blue eyes I never knew daylight could be so violent A revelation in the light of day”

26. Dancing with the Devil – Wolf Gang This alternates between the Master’s POV and the Doctor’s POV.

“If you're the chosen one How does it feel to be loved by no one? If you're the number one Where do you run to? Can you hide behind the sun? You say that there's no oxygen again You're forcing down the lies but you always get your way Something tells me that this was all arranged You tricked me once again”

27. Skeleton Park – Kasador Master’s POV. “You know, back in the day, I'd burn an entire city to the ground just to see the pretty shapes the smoke made” (Missy, in The Lie of the Land, Series 10, Episode 8)

“When the house is on fire Air fills my lungs I satisfy desire From watching all you run Yeah the house is on fire Hear the sirens scream My hands hold the lighter It fits so naturally”

28. Elastic Heart – Longfellow What I love the most about the Doctor (all versions) is how they keep fighting for what is right despite their own feelings being hurt or despite how much it may cause them pain. I love what this character represents, and those lyrics reminds me so much of them.

“Oh why can I not conquer love? And I might have thought that we were one Wanted to fight this war without weapons And I wanted it, I wanted it bad But there were so many red flags (…) Yeah, let's be clear, I'll trust no one You did not break in here I'm still fighting for peace”

29. Bite Back – The All-American Rejects “You think you've broken me? You'll have to try harder than that” (The Doctor, in The Timeless Children Series 12, Episode 10). Same unbreakable side of the Doctor, but this time she definitively resents it a little more than usual.

“You couldn't break me in the end And such a freedom I enjoy When you're deaf to the sounds you trust If that was all you've got, my friend Then set yourself to disappoint”

30. No Children – The Mountain Goats Listen to me here: this covers the whole “They were married way before they started to hate each other back on Gallifrey” fan theory.

“I am drowning There is no sign of land You are coming down with me Hand in unlovable hand”

[ PART TWO TO BE ADDED SOON ]

#doctor who #thoschei #doctormaster #best enemies #my playlists #playlist

36 notes · View notes

capricornus-rex · 4 years ago

Text

Someone Left to Save (12)

Cal Kestis x Reader

Requested by Anon

Summary: The Mantis crew arrives to the capital of Ulfin, in the planet of Pevera, under siege. They meet the local rebel cell spearheaded by the former Republic admiral, Jax Beneb, who seeks to destroy the Empire’s occupation that was aggressively imposed upon while exploiting the planet of its natural resources. A plan is devised to destroy the Imperial’s main base of operations—as well as their influence—in the planet; however, it was a do-or-die mission that you and Cal had gotten yourselves caught in.

A/N: Editing and formatting this on the mobile app is straight up HORRIBLE. I know it’s an old thing now to know that the mobile app is not recommendable for content creation, but hey I’m making do with what I can. Also, I’ve already posted this chapter yesterday on AO3, it only delayed because like I keep saying, editing on the app is horrible.

Tags: Force-Sensitive! Reader, Inquisitor! Reader, Jedi! Reader, Fake Death, Jedi turned Inquisitor, Seduction to the Dark Side, Turn to the Dark Side, The Dark Side of the Force, Aftermath of Torture, Torture, Psychological Torture, Redemption Arc! Reader, Possible Redemption, Premonitions | Additional tags: Jeddah

Also in AO3

Chapters: 1 – 2 – 3 – 4 – 5 – 6 – 7 – 8 – 9 – 10 | Previous: Part 11 | Next: Part 13 | Masterlist

12 of ?

Cal ran as fast as his legs can carry him until he got to a significant distance away from the bridge.

His next problem was finding his way back to the Mantis, but that’s besides the point. He took shelter in an extension of the temple, to catch his breath, but eventually the toll takes on his body. All of the sudden, the exact wave of emotions when he saw you came back to him. He still couldn’t believe it, he simply can’t, not after believing for so long that you were alive.

Pressing his back against the cold, stone walls, he slides down and reduces into a curled up ball; not even covering his eyes with his hands stopped the tears from overflowing. They spilled through the spaces between his fingers, the edges of his palms, and trickled down on his forearms. His heart ached as he sobbed. Of all things, why did this had to happen to him? And of all people to deliver him the worst of news, why did it have to be you?

“I can’t believe it…” he sobbed, his breath shuddering as he exhaled.

“Bee… Bee, trill, chirp!” BD-1 urged the boy to stand up and find their way out before you find them.

Cal sniffled and struggled to bring himself up to his feet. This was much worse a battle than the duel that he just had with you.

“You’re right, BD,” he concurred. “Come on…”

The boy was awfully quiet during their trek out of the temple cave. If BD chirped, he’d be received with silence, or perhaps the closest the bot can come to a reply is an out-of-the-moment “Huh?” and a weak, indifferent hum. Eventually, he gave up until they found their way out.

End of the road for Cal and BD-1.

Both of them peer on the drop at the edge of Cal’s boots. The sunlight pierced through the cracks on the cave’s walls and ceiling, revealing a body of water. The redhead youngster wagered it would be twenty feet between the rock he’s standing on and the water. He took a deep breath and dived in.

A literal splash of cold water all over him and he’s still having it rough in accepting what you have become. He swam forward, until he could find dry land; when he did, he climbed up and shook off the water from his clothes and boots.

“Cere, do you read?”

“Cal, I read. What’s going on? Are you still in the temple?”

“Yeah, I am, but I’m trying to find another way out.”

“What’s happened?”

“Uh… Um, there was a… a cave in.”

“Are you alright?”

Cere won’t take Cal’s simple “Yeah” for an answer. Even from that single word, she heard how unusually warbly he sounded, his own voice betrayed him and she wanted in on it as to why he sounds odd--but of course, she won’t force the boy. The conversation abruptly ended from Cal’s line as he continued on to find his way out of the cave.

“I think there’s our light at the end of the tunnel,”

His exit was one of many from that temple cave. A different exit could’ve led to another place. In Cal’s case, he ended up in the south end of the mesa; a narrow ridge, wide enough for any species except a Hutt to tread on, wrapped around the wall. Cal hugs the wall, facing the open space, with his arms splayed and pressed against the hot rock baked by the sun, then shimmied until he could find a wider path.

Cal has already come around the corner, he can already spot the city and the Mantis—the dorsal fin poking out of the mesa—so he continued to shimmy the ridge until he could find someplace to safely land. Not long after, he reaches a rockwall where he can make the rocks sticking out of it as handholds. He struggled to scale it, as the heaviness of his body was making it harder for him; despite coming out of the duel unscathed, the manifestations in his mind was affecting his body. He exerted more effort, he worked up a sweat in climbing the remaining height and the Mantis was a sight for his puffy, sore eyes.

“There’s the Mantis!”

The boy comes sprinting towards the vessel, hot air filling his lungs, warming his throat, and the sweltering humidity pelting his skin. He’d love a shower when he gets there.

The entry ramp unfurled when its censors spotted him, he didn’t wait for it to completely fold out, he jumped in the first second he could plant his feet on the ramp. This is the second time he eagerly barged into the Mantis, surprising everyone—except for Cere, who was already expecting an explanation from the young Jedi Knight.

“There’s something you all need to know,”

The entire crew clustered around Cere and Cal. The older female Jedi hardened herself, a way of preparing herself for what she’s about to hear, and she inhaled deeply when Cal opened his mouth.

“[Y/N] is alive… and she’s an Inquisitor now!”

Much like Cal the first time, the Mantis crew couldn’t believe it. BD-1 got Cal’s back when he flashed a data scan of you in the middle of your duel when you were unaware of the little droid. That is when the crew finally took Cal’s word for it. Cere stared at the holographic image of you long and hard, she questions if her eyes are playing a trick on her… but no, they aren’t. It really is you.

Examining your image more intently, she notices the changes in your face even though they were subtle. The shadows under your eyes and the redness along its rims, she asks BD to enlarge the image, when the droid obliged she spotted bruises on your neck and jugular. All of her findings suggest the exact same theory in her head: torture.

“Cal, did you notice that she had bruises and small wounds on her neck and face?”

“W-Well… Not really. I was still kinda overwhelmed back there when I saw her again,” said the boy quite somberly.

“Hmm,” the older woman hummed. “Because there are typical wounds you’d get when you’re kept in an Imperial torture chair. I had the same wounds, except [Y/N]’s are more prominent. It could only mean they’d kept her there longer than they usually would to a prisoner, especially if it were Jedi.”

The thought of you strapped into the torture chair for a much longer period of time pained Cal more. He could only imagine the agonizing screams and cries that would have escaped your throat for every time they pulled the switch to turn the current on. Suddenly, he felt woozy and his footing failed; Merrin and Cere caught him in time.

“Your poor thing, you need to rest,” uttered Merrin.

“Yeah, I… I just need to clean myself up and some time alone.”

He politely shook himself off of the ladies’ collective hold of him and headed for the bath. The water rained on his head and then trickled all over his entire body, bringing the sandy gunk along into the drain; the shower felt like a prison cell, theres’ a gloomy peace in this glass box, but ironically so, that’s what he exactly needed to think it all through.

Cal gently thumped his head against the wall, still letting the water run on him while doing bare minimum scrubbing—droplets fall from his strong jaw, the tip of his nose and lips, he’d blink away the water that clung on his eyelashes. He closes his eyes until the hissy sound of the running water had dulled in his earshot.

How he had wished he would have snuck a single grab of your saber, your hand, or your cheek just to see what you’ve been through. He’d willingly go through the nightmares that reside in your head, playing in every waking second which fueled your anger and hate. Then the words struck his mind.

“You abandoned me, Cal!”

“That sounded like an accusation,” he pondered. His nails cracked as he scratched the glass wall. “But you don’t really mean that, do you?”

Eventually, the tears mixed in with the shower’s water that it’s hard to tell. But Cal’s shoulders shook and then relaxed as he begins to weep again.

“I missed you so much… if only I could’ve told you that, to let you know. Even if it didn’t make you turn back, to come back to me. I just wanted to make sure you don’t forget...”

Even through the fogged glass, BD-1 can see Cal’s silhouette succumbing to the floor and curling up, he can hear the boy sobbing and incoherent muttering altogether. There’s nothing much the little one can do, as well, except to sit by and trill sad chirps.

—-

Meanwhile, back in the temple cave, you didn’t waste your energy in trying to dislodge the boulder in the archway. Like Cal’s exit, you had your own where you stood. You followed the path and led to a tunnel; you’re let out to what ought to be a canyon, though you have no idea where you exactly are.

Referring to your gauntlet, the small screen indicated the signature of your TIE Fighter on the map grid. From where you stand, it’s almost a seven-mile trek and you’re thirsty and hungry. Luckily, your TIE had a function that allows you to “hail” it and let it come to you even without a pilot.

“Maybe a sightseeing trip wouldn’t hurt my objective,” you mused.

Your TIE Fighter comes flying over the canyons until it converged to your signal.

The ship hovered over your head, sending the coattails of your armor's top flapping like wild in the thrusters' hot wind. You didn't mind, you simply hopped into the cockpit and flew to the nearby Imperial garrison. As the distance shrinks, you ponder if you'll have any luck in this endeavor.

The Imperial scanners have picked up the signature of your ship.

"This is TIE Fighter TZX-2527, requesting permission to dock,"

From the other end, the operators recognize your voice. One of them previewed the flat image of your ship on their screen and turned their heads to the deck commander.

"Sir, this is an Inquisitor's TIE Fighter!"

A sudden chill pelted his arms despite wearing a full-bodied uniform. He gulped the nervous lump lodged in the center of his throat many time before he could swallow smoothly again. He turned to the cadet manning the computers who previewed your TIE Fighter and gave him the go signal to let you through.

"Your ship's been verified, Inquisitor, you may begin your landing phase in Bay 5."

"Excellent. I'll be on my way,"

The transmission ends and you make your way to the Imperial docking bay, you promptly prepped your TIE into its landing cycle and daintily put it on the ground. A pair of Stormtroopers escorted you into the main hold of the fortification. After a ten-minute walk from the landing bay to the command hall, you meet the person in charge peering at the dusty nothingness through the window.

He was an aging man—the lines drawn over his face proved that he had served before the Empire, his lowered brow gave off a permanent scowl over a pair of tired, old eyes. He turns around as he hears the door open.

"Inquisitor," he greets with a curt bow, he doesn't turn away from you.

"Captain Foros," you greet, though the coldness in your tone overpowers the politeness. "I should thank you for letting me stay here."

"Aye, no one would want to stay out there, where it's wretchedly sweltering,"

You joined his side, standing in front of the same window where he observes the land, it later dawned on him that you're so young—and yet you carried yourself in a mature regard in your stride and posture.

Slowly turning your head from the window to his face, you smile at his comment—regardless if he doesn't see it.

"I'm pleased we have something to agree on,"

Getting past the niceties and icebreakers, a minute lapsed before you began asking him. He walked with you to the holotable in the center of the room.

"Has there been any word about a Jedi running around in this planet?"

"As a matter of fact, Inquisitor, we have been receiving relayed reports in the neighboring town northwest of here. That's Sector J8 in the grid."

"I see," you hummed, intrigued. "What kind of reports have you been hearing from the northwestern town?"

The old captain sighed, preparing mental bullet list of Cal's activities in the main town of Jeddah; there's too much to mention and elaborate in detail, so he pressed a button on the holotable to present a series of surveillance images taken in different areas of the town.

Your eyes wandered from one frame to another. All of the cameras captured a clear picture of the boy—whether he idled in crowded public areas, running, or swinging his saber at Stormtroopers.

Yep, that's him. You tell yourself.

"Well, it started out with sightings which eventually caused some suspicion. When the troops close in on him, he tends to leave a trail of their bodies in his wake, and then he'll bolt away until he's out of sight!"

"Ahh," you purred, smiling again with satisfaction underneath that mask. "Yes. I know this particular Jedi."

You suddenly turned quiet. Captain Foros turned to you, confused after detecting the rather amused tone in your voice, despite the mood of the situation that he just narrated. He angled his head with a thoughtful expression as he tried to read you.

There was something else that you sense about that town. You stand still in front of the holotable, concentrating everything on that town, there was an unspeakable urge within you that prompted you to march back to the window and peer at the quiet, unbothered town.

Looks like your to-do list just got longer.

"Captain?"

He stiffens upon the call of his rank.

"I'm going to need a speeder. I think I'll give the quaint town a little field visit."

"Right away, Inquisitor!"

Two snaps of his fingers prompted an officer to scramble from their post and march towards him. He sternly gave the order to prepare an elite-type speeder bike for you. He obediently responded, saluted to the captain before turning away to proceed with the given task. Within half an hour, you were escorted by one of the officers to the hangar.

You hopped on and revved up the engine. The bike sped out of the docking bay, with your eyes set out for that town.

19 notes · View notes

mrgan · 5 years ago

Text

Neven’s Pizza Dough

Sour cream, mozzarella, Sulguni cheese, pepperoni. Home oven, baking steel.

I like pizza, and I make it often. You also like pizza. Perhaps you’d like to make it as well? Here’s the recipe for my sourdough pizza, ideal for Neapolitan or NYC-style pies, baked in a home oven with a baking steel or stone, or in an outdoor oven. Scroll past the recipe if you’d like to learn more!

Neven’s Sourdough Pizza

Servings: two 12” pizzas. Time: 3.5 hours (mix and proof) + 1 to 14 days (fridge-ferment) + 6 hours (final proof) + 10 to 20 minutes (shape, top, and bake)

INGREDIENTS:

260 g high-gluten or bread flour (or all-purpose flour)

40 g (15%) whole wheat or rye flour (or any flour, really)

9 g (3%) salt

15 g (5%) ripe sourdough starter

200 g (66%) water

DIRECTIONS:

Put all the dry ingredients into the bowl of a stand mixer (”a KitchenAid”) outfitted with the dough hook and stir with a spatula to combine. Add the starter and about 2/3 of the water. Start the mixer on low speed and mix for 1 minute; add the rest of the water, and mix for 4 more minutes. Switch to medium speed and mix for another 5 minutes. If at any point the dough threatens to crawl out of the bowl, stop the mixer and scrape the mess back down into the bowl.

Once mixed, move the dough to a new bowl. (I prefer a shallower, wider, non-metal one myself.) Cover the bowl and let the dough rest in a warm spot (70–74°F?) for 3 hours. Every 30 minutes or so, perform a stretch-and-fold.

youtube

Scoop the dough with a flexible dough scraper onto a lightly oiled work surface and cut into two 262 g portions. Shape each portion into a ball, tucking the ends in toward the middle to form a taut, balloon-like surface on one side. Pop into a lightly oiled 16 oz deli container (do you have some from food deliveries?), messy side down. Cover and pop in the back of the fridge for 1-14 days. (I find the flavor is best around 7 days.)

youtube

6 hours before baking, remove the containers from the fridge and leave them on the counter. 2 hours before baking, uncover them. This will dry out the top somewhat, which is great; that will become the not-so-sticky bottom of your crust.

Portioned dough balls after being uncovered.

If using a home oven: 1 hour before baking, pop a baking stone or baking steel or upside-down pan on a rack 6-8" from the top broiler. Crank it up to 550ºF and leave it there.

To stretch the dough: hold the container upside down and wiggle the dough out of it gently; dont worry about whether it stays a perfect ball. Place it into a shallow, wide bowl of flour and make sure the wet end and the sides get some flour (not too much) on them. Place it on your wooden peel with the dry (previously the top) side down and press gently around the inside of the rim to make a little ringed pizza-prototype.

Then pick it up and stretch with your knuckles (don’t use your fingers). It should be very friendly, stretchy without any pullback or tearing. Stretch to 10" in size. Shimmy the peel a bit to make sure no part of the dough has stuck; repeat this shimmying every minute or so if it takes you that long to top it.

Stretching the dough using knuckles only.

My topping strategy for a standard cheese pizza: layer the dough with sliced mozzarella cheese, then add dabs of sauce, and your toppings. Now gently tug under the rim all around to stretch to 12″; the weight of the toppings will help prevent pullback.

youtube

Redistribute the toppings if needed. Shimmy again. Expertly slide onto the steel/stone/pan.

If using a home oven: set a timer for 4 minutes. Then, open the oven door and check the underside of your pizza. Almost done, while the top is still a bit pale? If so, slide a metal pizza pan (or a cookie sheet or something else thin, metal, and as large as the pie) under it. This prevents the bottom from getting overbaked. Rotate the arrangement 180º to get even baking. Set a timer for 3 minutes.

When the pizza is gorgeous, slide it out with a metal pizza peel or a large flat spatula or whatever. (Don’t use your wooden peel—that’s for shaping and launching only.) Rest it on a cooling rack for 1-2 minutes to dry out the bottom. Then move to a cutting board or plate and slice. (Don’t use your wooden peel for this either, please!)

If using an outdoor pizza oven: if you own one of these, you probably know what to do. Have at it, sport!

Sour cream, mozzarella, provolone, chives and garlic chives. Ooni Koda oven.

33% whole wheat in this dough. Aged for 9 days in the fridge.

- - - END OF RECIPE - - - - - - NOTES AND MUSINGS FOLLOW - - -

A note on baker’s percentages

When a dough is “66% hydrated,” that doesn’t mean the final ball of dough is two-thirds water. Rather, what bakers mean is, water is equal to 66% of the flour weight. Got it? That way, you can measure out your flour and scale all the other ingredients to it. I no longer refer to a recipe when I mix the dough, because I’ve memorized the percentages: 66% water, 3% salt, 5% starter. I also know that I need 150 g of flour per pizza; from these figures I can easily arrive at the weight of the other ingredients. Can you do the math in your head for, say, four pizzas? It’s easy! (Or maybe I’m just a math genius. (I am not a math genius.))

Just TWO pizzas? So what’s my boyfriend going to eat?

You can easily double the recipe. I wouldn’t go beyond 2x; you can’t mix much more than a kilo of dough in a typical stand mixer. If you’re doing a big pizza party and you want to make eight pies, first of all, congratulations! second, do it in two batches.

Do you think I’m the sort of person who has sourdough starter just sitting around?

“What does it matter what you say about people?”

I get it. I wasn’t always a Sourdough Guy. So, let me give you a recipe using commercial yeast. Bonus: it’s faster!

Normal-Person Pizza

Servings: two 12” pizzas. Time: 3 hours (mix and proof) + 10 to 20 minutes (shape, top, and bake)

INGREDIENTS:

260 g high-gluten or bread flour (or all-purpose flour)

40 g (15%) whole wheat or rye flour (or any flour, really)

9 g (3%) salt

3 g instant yeast (~1 tsp, about half a little package thingy, 1%)

200 g (66%) water

DIRECTIONS:

Put all the dry ingredients into the bowl of a stand mixer (”a KitchenAid”) outfitted with the dough hook and stir with a spatula to combine. Add about 2/3 of the water. Start the mixer on low speed and mix for 1 minute; add the rest of the water, and mix for 4 more minutes. Switch to medium speed and mix for another 5 minutes. If at any point the dough threatens to crawl out of the bowl, stop the mixer and scrape it back down into the bowl.

Once mixed, move the dough to a new bowl. (I prefer a shallower, wider, non-metal one myself.) Cover the bowl and let the dough rest in a warm spot (70–74°C?) for 2 hours. Every 30 minutes or so, perform a stretch-and-fold.

Scoop the dough with a flexible dough scraper onto a lightly oiled work surface and cut into two 262 g portions. Shape each portion into a ball, tucking the ends in toward the middle to form a taut, balloon-like surface on one side. Place on a well floured board; flour the top some more; and cover with a clean, non-terry (non-”fuzzy”; you want “smooth”) kitchen towel. Rest for another 1-2 hours, watching for the dough to grow some more and start looking really taut and ready.

Proceed with the tossing, topping, and baking.

Carmelina brand tomatoes, sauced; garlic, fresh oregano. Ooni Koda oven.

Wait, but I don't have a stand mixer either 😐

“It’s always gonna be something with you, isn’t it, Joe?”

No, that’s cool, that’s cool. Just mix by hand. Or by spatula, really. Mash it and fold it and fold it and mash it. Make sure you do frequent and thorough stretch-and-folds in this case. You really want to distribute everything uniformly in there.

And now, a word from our sponsors

(Note: none of the following products or brands are my sponsors. This is merely an idiom, come on.)

Juuuust in case you’re looking to add to your kitchen setup, here are the products I use for pizza making. Some of the links below include my referral code, which means I’ll get a tiny cut of the sale; the price is the same to you, though, so like, what does it matter? (I still feel a little uneasy. Sorry.)

Ooni Koda outdoor pizza oven. Simple, portable, hot as heck. Makes pizza you simply can’t get out of a home oven. These links give you 10% off! (UK link, EU link. These links all give you 10% off. BAM!)

Carmelina canned tomatoes in puree. Sweet, rich, flavorful. Buy them by the case.

Tillamook sour cream. Yes, sour cream makes a perfect sauce for a white pizza—which is generally an easier base to put creative toppings on! Make sure to buy the stuff where the ingredients are just cream and cultures, none of this cornstarch/carrageenan nonsense.

For flour, look for a local mill, if possible. Shop at restaurant-supply stores!

16 oz deli containers. Washable, sturdy, endlessly reusable. Love ‘em.

CoverMate bowl covers. Reusable, washable, transparent, secure.

Gram-precision kitchen scale. You know you need one. My favorite feature: extra long timeout (before it turns off) so I can forget to get the flour and run downstairs and hunt for it and when I come back, my measurement is still up on the screen.

I also like Ooni’s bamboo and metal peels a lot. You can get very cheap ones on Amazon, but understand that they’re… cheap.

Saf-Instant yeast. It’s got the cutest box. You can keep it in the freezer for years and use it right out of the freezer.

Oxo pizza cutter wheel. Whatever wheel you buy, just make sure it’s large and heavy—that’s what helps you cut neatly.

In conclusion

Pizza is good. Thank you.

Sliced mozzarella, parmesan, Carmelina brand tomatoes. Home oven, baking steel.

32 notes · View notes

neo-shitty · 4 years ago

Text

extra elongated tag game!

tagged by: @waithyuck hi, thank you for tagging me. i hope you’re safe :))

tagging: @94core, @legendnct, @juliennestudies (hi, it’s althea. you might want to do this?), @jaesmintea (can we be friends dkjsf idk how to make friends here) and whoever wants to play this game. it’s pretty lengthy tho.

O N E

tell me the first song that made you stan your current fave group and why did your faves attract you so much?

for seventeen, it was clap. the synchronization, even when they made a mistake, was really impressive to me. i started binge-watching their dance videos and i just remember being at awe at how a lot of people (considering they’re 13) could be in sync like that.

for nct, it was kick it. i used to say i didn’t like the song, but it won’t get out of my head. i’m not sure what keeps me attracted to them as a group. i just am. also, haechan is the love of my life. i’ve never loved an idol the way i loved him.

for ateez, it was wonderland. good lord, i just love that song. the mv, the vibe it gives off, the aesthetics during that era. makes me want to start a revolution.

T W O

rule: answer the ten questions given by the previous person and write 10 of your own for the next person!

1. what is your favorite memory from your childhood?

i didn’t have a dull childhood or something. i just don’t have specific memory that i could consider my favorite. but if there was anything i was fond of, as a kid, it was being innocent and not worrying too much about anything. i miss that and i wish i could go back.

2. if you could travel anywhere in the world with just a snap of your fingers, where would you go and why?

the museum where van gogh’s starry night is stored. i want to visit it in the middle of the night when there’s no one else there. i just want to stare at it and appreciate it.

3. describe your personality in three (3) words.

unbowed. unbent. unbroken. haha, kidding. impulsive, unpredictable, and...confusing i guess?

4. what is your favorite thing that you have ever read? (anything you’ve ever read counts! fanfiction, poems, novels etc.) why?

i don’t really have a favorite :(

5. are you the studying type of person or the type to just ‘wing it’ when you have a big test coming up?

i’m not really the type who studies regularly but i don’t walk into the exam room without reading at all. i read and study a few days before the exam, try to get as much information as possible.

6. between bold colors and pastel colors, which do you prefer?

i’d rather go with pastels in the day and bold neons at night.

7. do you live life in the moment or do you plan every action you take?

a bit of both depending on the situation. i’m the type who plans ahead on things that i really want to happen but i have my fair share of spontaneous, impulsive decisions that lead up to really fun experiences. but when it comes to life in general? i’m just taking in every day as it comes.

8. what is your favorite holiday and why? (all holidays count! across all religions and cultures 😄)

christmas. the weather is cool and everyone’s a bit kind during that time of the year. and it leads up to new year.

9. would you rather stay up to stargaze in the middle of the night or wake up early to watch the sunrise?

i can’t see stars even with glasses on because my eyes suck. so i guess, i’d rather watch the sunrise because that obnoxious ball of bright yellow light is so hard to miss. plus i like how the surroundings change colors as the night changes into day.

10. what is your favorite eye color on another person?

blue on a brunette? i know it’s rare but it’s such a beautiful mix.

my ten questions for you:

what’s your favorite season and why?

are you a cat person or a dog person?

what’s your current favorite song and why can’t you stop listening to it?

if you had the ability to do either of the following, would you rather change something in the past or see into the future?

what’s your favorite movie?

what did miss rona ruin for you this 2020?

what’s your favorite album? (you can name one for each genre you like or you can just name one, it’s up to you.)

if you could talk to your past self (person who lived your past life), what would you tell them?

do you have a go-to person? who is it?

if you could tell your younger self something, what would you say?

T H R E E

rule: bold the statements that apply to you, italicize your aspirations.

AIR ༉⋆͙̈

i have small hands / i love the night sky / i watch animals and birds when i pass them by / i drink herbal tea / i wake to see the dawn / the smell of dust is comforting / i’m valued for being wise / i prefer books to music / i meditate / i find joy in learning new truths from the world around me

FIRE ༉⋆

i don’t have straight hair / i like to wear ripped jeans and overalls / i play an organized sport / i love dogs / i am not afraid of adventure / i love to talk to strangers / i always try new foods / i enjoy road trips / summer is my favorite season / my radio is always playing

WATER ༉⋆͙̈

i wear bracelets on my wrists / i love the bustle of the city / i have more than one set of piercings / i read poetry / i love the sound of a thunderstorm / i want to travel the world / i sleep past midday most days / i love simply lit dinners and fluorescent signs / i rewatch kids shows out of nostalgia / i see emotions in colors not words

EARTH ༉⋆͙̈

i wear glasses or contacts / i enjoy doing the laundry / i am a vegetarian or vegan / i have an excellent sense of time / my humor is very cheerful / i am a valued advisor to my friends / i believe in true love / i love this chill of mountain air / i’m always listening to music / i am highly trusted by the people in my life

AETHER ༉⋆͙̈

i go without makeup in my daily life / i make my own artwork / i keep on track of my tasks and time / i always know true north / i see beauty in everything / i can always smell flowers / i smile at everyone i pass by / i always fear history repeating itself / i have recovered from a mental disorder / i can love unconditionally

F O U R

the ultimate tag: answer whichever ones you want to because there are a lot.

PERSONAL

name: althea

nickname: thea

birthday: april 27

zodiac: taurus

nationality: filipino

languages: filipino, english, learning korean

gender: female

sexuality: straight

height: 5’2”

BLOG STUFF

inspiration for muse: music

meaning behind my url: supposedly neocity but that was taken so :D

blog established: 2016/2015? but i only became active this 2020

followers: 35 :D hi <3

FAVORITES

favorite animal/s: cats :(

favorite book/s: warcross by marie lu

favorite color/s: black and skin-tone shades

favorite fictional characters: i don’t really have favorites, sorry

favorite flower: sunflowers

favorite scent: vanilla

favorite season: summer and fall or the tropical equivalents of these anw

RANDOM

average hours of sleep: 7-8

cats or dogs: cats

coffee, tea or hot chocolate: iced tea / hot chocolate

current time: 12:50 pm

dream trip: europe trip

dream job: i actually want to be a 5-star michelin

hobbies: writing, listening to music

hogwarts house: slythering

last movie watched: the darkest minds

last song listened to: sweet creature - harry styles

no. of blankets you sleep with: 1

random fact(s): i’m in both college and high school atm (august 5, 2020) because i haven’t graduated yet and my college a.y already started

F I V E

10 songs i can’t stop listening to:

just go - ikon

easy - stray kids

breathe - james arthur

lotto - exo

god’s menu - stray kids

inception - ateez

killing me - ikon

la la lost you - niki

dontmakemefallinlove - cuco

safe inside - james arthur

#toffee.txt #tumblr game #this was fun #but tiring #thank you for tagging me tho :D

2 notes · View notes

fatgirlsguidetodating · 5 years ago

Text

Blog: Almost 40.

I’ve never been one for posting particularly introspective blog entries publicly. It’s not that I don’t contemplate things, or even write about them, but for the most part those meandering musings are confined only to my phone’s notes app- my most used app behind Facebook. And on those rare occasions that I *do* publicly blog about them I usually keep it on a relatively superficial level as I don’t necessarily like opening up my mind (and insecurities) to strangers.

But I’m turning 40 in less than a month and I think this is the catalyst that’s prompted a lot more thought about things than I’d ordinarily give them. I’d always considered 40 old but, as I approach it, I don’t *feel* old. And my family and friends would be rather quick to point out I don’t act it either. I always thought by 40 I would be much further along in life than I am. That I’d have a good job, a nice husband, a nice house, kids, that whole suburban dream. But... I haven’t.

And I started thinking if I’m a ball of mixed emotions about turning 40 maybe there’s other women- and men for that matter- who are feeling the exact same way so perhaps if I’m to break my self imposed cocoon of privacy around my innermost thoughts now might be the perfect time to give it a shot. So, with that being said, here goes nothing...

Here’s the thing: I remember my Mum’s 40th. I had just turned 10. I was sitting outside with my cousins, all of similar ages, and we were making fun of what we considered to be the appalling music taste our respective parents had. I even remember the leather pants Mum was wearing. She claims to have forgotten them but I think she’s faking that despite her bad memory. It didn’t even occur to me for a millisecond that my 40th wouldn’t be spent in a similar fashion. I just assumed life would follow the same path most women’s lives had followed for generations (with one caveat- I was planning to be the first one to go to uni): I’d find a job, I’d find a husband, we’d buy a house with a white picket fence, and we’d have 2.5 kids and a dog. And that all of that would be well and truly achieved by the time I turned 40. Just like it had been for my mum, and her mum before her, and hers before her. It was just the way things went, you know?

And then life happened. There’s a line in “Beautiful Boy” one of the John Lennon songs that I love that says “life is what happens to you while you’re busy making other plans” and it couldn’t be any truer in the 21st century than It was when it was written in 1980. (It’s a cruel twist of fate that it was written not long before he died and released after his death.)

For me “life” was all about my health, or lack thereof. I’ve mentioned the back issues before and the many hospital visits, and the 70 plus back ops. In essence this put things on hold: work, getting a home of my own, finding a guy (hard when you are always in and out of hospital and have problems losing weight) and having kids. So as I approach 40 without those things I’m not necessarily looking forward to it the way many do. (Plus if I get one “over the hill” card the person giving it to me shall be in a body bag.)

One thing I noticed when researching this blog post was Google searches about turning 40 seemed to concentrate on two things: what your health would be like post 40 and life as a Mum. Well what about those of us who are single and childless? Are we invisible? This didn’t particularly help with my mixed emotions about this supposed great milestone.

And it seems I’m not alone. Dr. Nancy Oreilly wrote about women’s aging anxiety that regardless of how you feel towards turning 40 you’ll still do what everyone does at this juncture and take stock of your life thus far. Things like “what have you done with your life? Are you the person you intended to be and are you living the life you want?” (1.)

In Lisa Bono’s interview with author Glynnis MacNicol about her book “No one tells you this” for the Sydney Morning Herald about life as a single 40 year old woman MacNicol admits she approached her 40th with “so much dread and shame" because she didn't have what she was "supposed" to have - a husband and a kid or two.... (because) we don't understand how to talk about women's lives as fulfilling unless we incorporate babies or weddings.” (2.)

Meredith Goldberg, in her article about age being just a number posed the question that if indeed age was just a number why was she feeling so apprehensive? Was it because she felt “like (she) had not accomplished enough in (her) 40 years on earth?” (3.) After all she hadn’t gotten married, hadn’t had kids, didn’t have another advanced degree.

Interestingly studies over the last decade or so have shown that the start of middle age (which, much to my chagrin given my belief I’m still like a much younger woman, is considered to be 40) often correlates with the time when people are the least happy, have the lowest levels of life satisfaction and highest levels of anxiety. A study at the University of Warwick and Dartmouth College attributed this to the facts that at this stage “adults are often faced with the pressures of raising children and looking after aging parents while simultaneously dealing with mounting financial and career pressures.“ (4)

Is it all too late for me- and other women turning 40 without a child- though? This is one of the most common thoughts going round and round in my head as I approach 40. I mean we all know about the whole ticking biological clock right? Even when I was doing my first postrgrad degree at 24, working part time, still single, still living at home, I still thought well there’s plenty of time. At 28 when I was finishing with postgrad, working full time but still single I *still* thought well there’s still a fair bit of time. At 33 it changed to well I guess there’s still time if I get a bit of a hurry on now. And now, at 39, single and childless, I think well maybe it’s too late now.

In her article about turning 40 whilst single and childless Bethany Jenkins wrote that it’s not only common but practically universal for a woman to expect and long for children, “to bring new life into the world; to put her hand on her belly as her baby grows; to wonder whether the newborn will have her or her beloved’s eyes; to hear ��mom” not as a word uttered by her own voice to her own mother but as a call from her child’s voice for her.” (5) MacNicol in her book echoes that saying “as women, we’re taught to expect our stories to turn to marriage and children at a certain point in time (namely, before 40.)” (6)

Robin Deutsch, a psychologist and associate professor at William James College in Newton also points out that women reaching 40 tend to be more confident, have more wisdom and make better choices. (4) (Does she even know me?) But when you really think about it the whole “life begins at 40” theory has some merit. Julia Child didn’t publish her first cookbook until she was almost 50. Vera Wang didn’t start her fashion career until 40.

The fact that these women have the same feelings surrounding turning 40 whilst single and childless gives me some comfort. There’s a quote from Jung that I remember from philosophy at uni. He said that life begins at 40 and until then you’re just doing research. And maybe I’ve got to look at the positives in my current circumstances? One big upside I see is freedom. I plan to travel and return to uni to study something I’m passionate about and it’s doubtful I could do this had my life taken that path I was so sure it would.

So does this mean that the formula that my mum and all my ancestors followed, that unsaid life plan of when to get married, buy a home and have kids, is a thing of the past? We know women have children later these days. In fact the median age for a first kid these days is 30.6 as per the ABS reports

From the 1950s to mid 1970s, the fertility rates of women aged 20–24 and 25–29 were patently higher than that of all other age groups. Since then, the fertility rates for women in their 20s have been steadily declining whilst rates of those aged in their 30s have mostly increased since the early 1980s. Since 2000, the fertility rate of women in their early 30s has been higher than all other groups. It’s not just that women are having babies later but also the birth rate has declined. In 1950 the birth rate was 23.124. Its predicted 2020 will be at 12.561. (ABS yearly reports.)

We know women have children later these days, preferring to be settled and to have done the things they thought they’d not be able to do after before becoming a parent. Compared to our mothers, our grandmothers and so on we have more choices and not every woman’s first goal in life is having a child. (8)

The differences between say baby boomers and millennials are striking. It’s not just the fact that they settle down later but there are also other factors that mean by the time we turn 40 we may not have all the things our ancestors have but there are other priorities we have. For instance more women go to university now than they did when my Mum was turning 40. And after spending the time, work and money to get a degree it’s only natural that it follows that they want to get more out of their careers. Whilst baby boomers are more driven by loyalty, often staying at the same company for years, millennials are more interested in achieving more, whether that’s at the same company or not. (9) My father, for example, worked for the same company his entire life. He could have gone to many others with the knowledge he’d accumulated but he liked his job and he was happy there so it didn’t even really occur to him in more than a passing thought.

Then you look at things like buying a home. It’s ironic given that pay has increased that millennials are putting home ownership off longer than previous generations. Whilst people of my parents generation were content with a “starter home” these days more and more first home buyers want a bigger home, with bigger and better appliances, closer to the city than the suburbs etc. Research has found that rather than jump straight into a mortgage millennials look at travel, and spending their pay on things like Ubers and Lyfts, coffee, gadgets, clothes, and live entertainment and sports. (9)

Marriage is also something we do later. Consider the fact that whilst almost “50% of baby boomers were married between the ages of 18 to 32... a mere 26% of millennials are married in the same age range.” (9)

The fact that so many other women have the same feelings surrounding turning 40 whilst single and childless gives me some comfort. There’s a quote from Jung that I remember from philosophy at uni. He said that life begins at 40 and until then you’re just doing research. And maybe I’ve got to look at the positives in my current circumstances? One big upside I see is freedom. In the next 12 months I plan to travel and return to uni to study something I’m passionate about and it’s doubtful I could do this had my life taken that path I was so sure it would.

In an article published on mindbodygreen.com the writer spoke about how well-meaning friends had been asking her did she not want to have kids, did she not want to get married, etc, and she was quick to say that this can actually be the “most celebrated time of your life (and to) consider yourself blessed and enjoy the freedom.” (10) She listed some of the things to celebrate about turning 40 whilst single and childless. Like me travel was up there on her list as was the time to Perdue your passions. She also mentioned “(the) opportunity to nurture your friendships and relationships with family...(and that) the dating pool is large in your 40’s (given) a large majority of our population is divorced... there are so many

social media dating sites and social events in every major city... (and) you know what you're looking for.” (10)

So maybe instead of worrying about why I’m not where I wanted to be turning 40, worrying that it’s too late, worrying that my friends are further along than I am, I should be embracing it. The future is mine. I’ve just got to find a way to embrace it.

Fatgirl.

Sources:

1.) https://www.drnancyoreilly.com/40-2/

2.) https://www.smh.com.au/lifestyle/life-and-relationships/no-one-tells-you-life-as-a-40-year-old-single-woman-can-be-like-this-20180717-p4zs16.html

3.) https://www.google.com/amp/s/www.sheknows.com/health-and-wellness/articles/1140197/anxious-about-turning-40/amp/

4.) https://www.google.com/amp/s/www.bostonglobe.com/magazine/2017/06/01/seriously-now-what-traumatic-about-turning/UVnbdmxVvLSzwoB8Yo4wGP/story.html%3foutputType=amp

5.) https://ifstudies.org/blog/reflections-on-turning-40-while-single-and-childless

6.) https://www.google.com/amp/s/www.wellandgood.com/good-advice/single-at-40-glynnis-macnicol-interview/amp/

7.) https://aifs.gov.au/facts-and-figures/births-in-australia

8.) https://www.mamamia.com.au/average-age-to-have-kids/

9.) https://www.google.com/amp/s/www.businessinsider.com/difference-millennials-baby-boomers-2019-4%3famp

10.) https://www.google.com/amp/s/amp.mindbodygreen.com/articles/so-im-single-40-and-childless-now-what--10631

#dating #40 #almost40 #emotions #babyboomers #generationx #generationy #millenials #single #childless #worry #freedom #travel #university #howtocope #generationaldifferences #aging #anxiety #aginganxiety

8 notes · View notes

standfortheangels · 5 years ago

Text

Instructions: Always repost with the rules, answer the 11 random questions left for you, and leave 11 more for the people you tag!

Tagged by: @illicreatxm

This got long so I’m going to stick it under a read more ^^

1. If you could write any canon character, which would it be and why?

Hm. I’m not sure. I have roleplayed a couple of canons before, but I find it harder to keep the muse for them. I could probably do Elsa okay, I could jump between her locked in the castle personality and her open, welcoming character post-film, which might help, but the inconsistencies in her Over-powered Powers annoy me, so I think I’d add a few limitations in there.

2. Favourite Disney movie?

Maybe Aladdin because Robin Williams is of course amazing and so perfect in that role~ Ohh but there’s also Atlantis.. And Dumbo! Aw no... Let’s just call this my top three before I get carried away >w>

3. Least favourite MCU character?

I haven't seen the more recent ones, so, I can't take into account characters like Thanos or Dr. Strange or, whoever else they've been bringing in. So out of what I've seen, I'd have to go with Bruce Banner/The Hulk.

It seemed in the earlier films that they didn't give much attention to Banner. They were all over using the Hulk to make bits interesting, but Bruce was boiled down to "quiet smart guy who CaN TuRN inTo THE HULK" so, yeah.

And the hulk himself later did like a 180° change for me. In his stand-alone film I think Hulk says like 3 words, maximum. Then rarely talks in his appearances in the other avengers brand films. Cool. We had "Puny God" and that was a-okay. One short, memorable, funny quote seems perfect.

But then what was all that when Whedon got his hands on it? (I mean don't get me started on that, I am really reigning myself back here but) They start off needing ways to calm Hulk down enough to get him back inside and give control back to Bruce, fair enough. But then like... He winds up not letting go of Bruce's body even though he isn't enraged anyway? And suddenly he's emotional enough and smart enough to take- what was it a plane? And seperate himself off from everyone and look all solemnly at Natasha before he does it or something?

Obviously my memory of it isn't great, honestly I stopped paying attention after Natasha's "I'm a monster- not because I was raised in a heartless environment full of violence and raised to literally kill people, that bit's whatever- but because they took away my fertility and now I can't have babies." speech. And that's the last MCU film I watched. I didn't want anything to do with them after seeing what Joss Whedon did with the characters and the overarching plotline and... Everything. x') So I might have gotten some of the hulk stuff wrong.

(I did watch Deadpool though, that I enjoyed~)

4. If you had to create any new character, what occupation would they have?

Ooo good question.

I think something proactive, where they could seek other characters out, but.. I'd kinda like a bad guy~ Someone who lies so much for their job, they have a dual personality to work with. They can be your smiling friendly neighbour, wishing you well on your holiday, then turn around and grit his teeth because this poses a major problem for his mission, and he can't lose his target, so now he has to follow, but he can't do that as your happy neighbour, no, you know he isn't going on holiday, certainly not today, not on your flight, not to the same ski lodge you're going to. No, he has to make a new cover- maybe say his neice phoned him with a family emergency and he'll be leaving to go be with her a while. Then shed this identity, find out where his target is going, quickly pose as some other tourist who blends into the background and get to the lodge first, all the while planning out some plausible skiing accident he can set up.

Wow that got more detailed than I expected x'D I think I just reinvented hitman, whoops.

5. Favourite sport?

[Image ID: Kiki from Kiki’s Delivery Service, laughing hysterically.]

My biggest concern when I'm on my feet is not falling over so, obviously sports aren't really my deal. x')

I used to swim a lot when I was a kid, I loved that, but, don't do it now.

And I'm not really into watching sports either tbh. Most of it seems over-hyped. Most football teams (real football, it is not soccer. The hint is in actual football, the ball, is hit, with your feet. Picking it up and running with it and then sometimes kicking it does not qualify as football, come on USA. Your thing is closer to Rugby than Football.)

Anyway most teams aren't much better or worse than any other if you actually watch objectively, which makes it look like they both suck because they're too well matched to score goals more than once in a blue moon.

Rugby I don't really understand the appeal of either. Scrums are weird and it wouldn't be entirely bizarre to see a guy walking away from the game with blood down his face and an ear in his hand. You'd almost expect him to stick the ear on ice and be back in a few minutes with his bandages on.

Really the only sports than interest me are the gymnastic types. Ice skating is good for a while but it can start getting dull if you don't have people willing to break the mould a bit. (Which is why I absolutely love the free skate bit. Where they aren't being scored and they just do whatever the hell they want, omg I live for that)

Floor routines are awesome, the pommel horse and rings are usually a little samey for me but the one with those two bars at different heights, that's fun to watch~ there's a little more variety there.

(And I don't wanna hear anyone in the replies saying these aren't sports, every example there including figure skating is a separate event in the Olympics, so. There.)

6. What’s your dream car?

I don’t really have one. At this point in my life I don’t actually have the option to learn to drive so I haven’t really thought about it. My only criteria is, it has to have a nice face. x)

Since I was tiny I have always seen cars as faces. The headlights would be eyes, and usually the number plate would be the mouth, but some cars have other stuff like a grill that might be the mouth instead. So like...

This would be a grumpy car with a pig-like nose and frown.. Actually those look like jowels either side of the mouth part. It looks kind of like a bulldog. X’)

And this would be a happy car. That black part around the number plate it wide and smile-shaped, and the headlights- rounded on top and straighter on the bottom, like the little creases we get when we scrunch up our eyes laughing~

This car looks like someone just said something really stupid to it, and it is not impressed, and lets the silence hang not knowing what to say.

Happy car

Terminator car

Happy car but in a mean way.. Like it’s on its way to cause mayhem or poking fun at someone. You get the general idea -w-

7. A movie that you think should have a sequel?

Hmm... this is a toughie.

8. A movie sequel that you think should be deleted from existence?

I don’t remember which number it was or even the title, but the Shrek sequel where Shrek like, hates having kids so much he makes a deal to change time? And Fiona winds up as like a vicious warrior leader because no-one ever saved her from the tower, and rumplestiltskin is in it? What even was that...

9. Design your dream outfit using this game ?

I wouldn’t say this really is my dream outfit, but from the options on offer~

(also discounting the enormous hair bun >w>;)

10. Favourite fairytale?

I’m not sure if this actually counts as a fairytale, but I love the story of the jolly roger. That classic skull and crossbones flag has a story behind it that a lot of people don’t know.

In a nutshell, a man (i guess a pirate) develops an intense crush on a young woman, who is about to get married. But just before her wedding, she dies. She is buried, but the man doesn’t take death for an answer. He digs her up and has sex with her body. When he’s done, a disembodied voice speaks to him, telling him that he has basically impregnated this corpse, and to come back in nine months.

For some reason, he does. He digs up the woman again. And sat below her pelvis is a small skull and two bones. The disembodied voice tells him to take these bones with him on his ventures, and they will bring him luck.

It’s bizarre, and kinda gross, and.. I dunno if being rewarded for sexually desicrating a corpse is the best moral? x’) But I was amazed when I heard this story, because I’d had no idea there was this whole tale behind the flag~ and I still love that it exists~

11. Create an avatar of your favourite muse using this creator? ?

First, it’s so cruel to ask me to pick my favourite child how dare you >w> haha

I went with Chester though because he’s the one I’m usually most connected to.

I can’t think of anyone I want to tag right now (at least not anyone who hasn’t probably done this already), but I’ll put the new 11 questions for anyone who does feel like doing this~ :) __

1. What’s one thread/plot you really want to do that you haven’t had chance to yet?

2. What is the reason for, or meaning behind, your blog icon?

3. Do you have any pets? Tell us a bit about them!

4. What is one thing you would never want to change about your appearance?

5. There is an ultra secret spy group, and you’ve just uncovered their existence. Now they say that you must either work for them, or they’ll find a permanent way to keep you quiet. What kind of work would you offer to do for them?

6. If you met your muse in real life, how do you think the two of you would get along? (multi-muse blogs, pick one of your muses at random.)

7. You have been given a huge budget to remake one film in your own vision. You can change anything, add anything, choose the cast, you have no limits. What would you do?

8. What is one skill you wish you could automatically master?

9. A genie offers you a deal. An unlimited lifelong supply of one food of your choice... But, you have to sacrifice your ability to chew. Does any food still tempt you?

10. What do you think is the funniest animal?

11. Share one memory you have that makes you happy to think about~

#literally anyone can do this #and you can tag me in it too if you want #even if we've never interacted #I love reading posts like these #x)#ooc #long post #I loved the game questions on this btw!#I've never seen anyone include something like that before #it was fun!#illicreatxm

5 notes · View notes

ontherockswithsalt · 6 years ago

Text

A Made Man

/1/ /2/ /3/ /4/ /5/ /6/ /7/ /8/ /9/ /10/ /11/ /12/ /13/ /14/ /15/ /16/

A/N: Might as well light this candle up on tumblr dot com. Prepare yourselves for some serious trash. Adult content warning. I don’t need to like, warn people about butt activities anymore right? I mean...

Thanks for taking this ride with me this year! I hope the holidays are good to you, bringing joy and happy times. Kick back with a Joble update. Enjoy!

Chapter 17.

“The universe is scheming to torture me.”

I smirk at Noble’s complaint through the phone as I sink back against my couch cushions. “Mm yeah? That’s my job.”

“There’s a slight adjustment to the plans.”

“Guess how shocked I am.”

“Yeah, I know. I’m difficult,” he concedes. “The job we were supposed to finish today, we didn’t finish. So I have to go in to work in the morning.”

A loud groan resounds in my chest and I reach for the remote control with my free hand to turn down the volume on the news channel. “You suck, Nick.”

“It should only take a few hours and I’ll be free by the afternoon.”

“Well that’s not bad.”

“I was thinking instead of me picking you up at the airport, you could take a cab to my place,” he suggests. “I’ll leave you a key and you can just wait for me here.”

“Yeah, I can do that.”

“And I’ll make it up to you however you want.”

“However I want?” I contemplate the possibilities.

“Mm-hm.”

“I want a lot of things this weekend.”

“God, me too,” he sighs. “The latest picture you sent me the other day has been useful.”

With a soft laugh, I run a hand up my face and tip my head back. What had started as an impulsive, tipsy decision -- after the happy hour I had with Vinny to send Noble a late night picture in bed of my hand grasping my dick -- had escalated into a series of back and forth photos between the two of us over the last several weeks. Just a few. Some more teasing than others.

He adds, “But it only sustains a man so long.”

“Well… tomorrow, I can do a lot better than a picture.”

We hadn't been able to wait long after Noble left New York to schedule another visit. Tell me the first weekend you're free and I'm getting you down here, he had insisted. And I shamelessly didn't refuse him.

Whatever phase we're in right now in this relationship has me uncharacteristically gratified, content, bordering on chipper. It's ridiculous. Even my sergeant and some of the other officers at the 12th noticed. But I was happy to keep the reason to myself for now, and aside from Vinny, nobody else knows.

***

It's a quick getaway to Miami with a late morning flight out of LaGuardia. I tell myself I can pull off not letting my family know about this trip considering I'm due back to New York in time for Sunday dinner. Plus two trips to Miami in the span of two months would surely set off a relentless inquisition from everyone at that table.

In a cab, I relay Noble's address to the driver and settle back to check my phone. I open up my messages and see where our last exchange left off, earlier in the day with a couple of easy good morning texts where he wished me a safe flight. I let him know I’ve landed and I’m on my way to his place, figuring he won’t see it until he takes a break at work.

Then I slip sunglasses onto my face and tip my head back to observe the view from my window.

***

“You there?”

“I’m here.” I tell him, pacing his living room. “Your neighbors and their kids wandered over to use the pool, though. So I told them that was cool and we could all hang out--”

“What?” He scoffs in a panic through the phone.

I can’t help my lazy chuckle as I slide one of his paperbacks into place on his bookshelf, then tip out another one to glance at the cover. “I’m just kidding.”

“Why would you joke with me? I’m way too wound up for that shit.”

“Are you almost here?”

“In like, ten minutes,” he answers. “And there’d better not be anyone else over there because I have loud, filthy plans for you and only you, man.”

I smirk. “Aww.”

“That was romantic, wasn’t it?”

“It was. I’m touched,” I muse. “Oh hey. I found all your spanking porn--”

“Shut up,” he coughs out a laugh and the deep throaty sound of it makes me smile, the memory flaring in my chest. “You wish.”

“Just get here.”

“Ugh,” he groans. “Fine. I love you.”

“I love you.” And then I end the call, amused as I decide on one of his books and turn to sink back to the couch with it.

A few quiet minutes pass before I hear the closing of his car door, then the sound of his keys. It makes my heart hot just hearing it and I don’t miss the unexpected swoop of my stomach in anticipation of him.

“Hey, hey!” He announces. “I told you it wouldn’t take long.”

Sitting up, I glance toward his entryway and watch him approach the kitchen, straight from work looking every bit dirty and spent and used as the clichés I'd imagined. “Oh damn, look at you.”

He exhales a long breath and drops his keys into a dish on the counter. “I know. Don’t judge me until after I’ve taken a shower.”

“Too bad,” I tell him. I toss the book aside and get up to meet him. I don’t even hide the obvious fall of my gaze as I assess him in jeans and a muddy white t-shirt. His skin, grimy with remnants of dirt along his forearms, glows from sun and sweat and I’ve never seen him look quite like this but damn.

He groans aloud, tipping his head back as he stretches. “God. Come here,” he sighs as I approach. “You’re like the best thing I’ve seen in weeks.”

I reach out and grasp him around the shoulders as he pulls me in to him. I rock my weight against him and feel the breath leaving his back as his muscles contract and arch beneath my touch.

“Do I smell good?” He wonders, burying his face into the side of my neck.

I return the affection, breathing him in at the collar of his t-shirt before I press a kiss on the underside of his jaw. “No,” I laugh. “You're nasty.”

That heavy chuckle echoes in my ear. “That's why I said let me shower.”

“But I'm into it.” I close my teeth on the edge of the shirt, tugging gently at the neck.

A little grunt of appreciation escapes him. “Then get in with me, you sick fuck.”

I don't argue and we manage to get ourselves to the shower just off his room, the trail of our clothes left behind. Surrounded by large, steamy glass and tile walls, his shower certainly outdoes mine back home.

Glancing down, he lets the hot water rush down the back of his neck. I take my time to watch -- and occasionally help -- as sudsy paths skim his chest where he drags a washcloth. They linger, teasing the slick lines of his abdomen until the spray of the shower washes them away.

“Wait--” Moving in behind him, I dip my head back into the water, sliding wet hands up my face. “Can you… go back outside and pretend like you got soaked by the sprinklers and you had to take your shirt off and knock and ask if you can borrow a towel --”

Playfully, he turns and shoves me away but chases me just as fast, his hands grasping for my waist. With impatient movements, but still this dreamy vibe between us because I've missed him so damn much, I skate my palms down his chest.

“You'll be like--” He starts, reaching up to rake fingertips back through my hair. “Uh… Sure but my wife won't be too happy if she comes home and the floor is all wet.”

My head falls back as I crack up and Noble follows against me.

He goes on, “And I'm all-- Something tells me your wife wouldn't be happy about this either. And then we like, fuck on the kitchen table or something.”

My face falls against his neck as my amusement tapers off. “How much porn have you been watching?”

“You started it with the sprinkler scenario.”

“Uh-huh.” I just manage a throaty hum before I latch one hand on the back of his head and capture his lips with my own. I lean into him, hooking my other arm around his neck as his hands grasp my sides.

He tugs my bottom lip with his teeth, just enough to murmur along the ridge of my jaw, “I missed you so goddamn much.”

My heavy chest forces a noisy exhale into the air above his head. Then his slippery hand drops to my balls, paying them attention that makes my legs weak and I let out another loud sigh. “I missed you too. You’ve gotta stop leaving.” I mumble the words before my mouth falls hard on his.

The way he tastes never fails to provoke me, rousing these secret corners of my pulse. My breath comes out harder and my heartbeat suddenly thuds from the hot stroke of his tongue across mine.

His hand skates underneath me, then all the way up in a fist along my stiff shaft. I love the way his hands just take control, all over me. Then his fingers slip down the sensitive crevice at my taint and I almost start to ride them, my hips rocking against his I want it so bad.

He groans when I do, lifting his chin to peer down at me with this heavy gaze that’s fucking sexy, the way his wet lips part while he watches me.

“Is this what you missed?” He wonders, just as the tip of his finger pushes slick between my cheeks, right at the rim of my ass.

A breathy laugh escapes me as I arch my head back. Sliding my grip up the path of his triceps, I tell him, “I missed everything.” Then I lift a coy eyebrow and flick my gaze to his wandering hand. “Is that what you missed?”

“What, this ass? Fuck yeah I did.” He raises a free hand to the edge of my jaw and kisses me, strong and soft but with this needy curl of his fingers as they trail to the back of my head. With a couple steps, he traps me against the wall.

Impatiently, my hand wraps around his cock right at my hip. But he lets out a broken breath and shakes his head as he adjusts. “No, just you right now,” he rasps. And then he tugs at the back of my thigh until I lift it to plant one foot on the built-in ledge along one wall of his shower.

He dives in closer, hands back at work, one slipping down underneath my bent leg, coasting just between my asscheeks once again until I feel the slow circling of his fingertip at my opening.

“Ahh, god.” I push my head back against the wet tile and my eyes close as I mumble a content but tortured moan. It just vibrates there in my chest.

Then his other hand strokes my dick, idly grazing a loose fist there. He leans in and kisses me again and I muffle a gravelly sigh against his mouth. Holding him to me, digging fingers into his wet hair, I rock against the teasing rhythm of both of his hands.

Just when I want more of that slippery middle finger, he pulls off my mouth and mutters, “Turn around.”

Dazed, my eyelids heavy, my bottom lip stung, I hesitate a moment. Then I glance at the wall behind me and offer Noble a smirk. “Something back there you want?”

He laughs, “Yeah and it's mine” before pulling on my arm and I make no effort to resist him.

I dig my teeth into my bottom lip and my head tips back with my amusement as I turn away from him.

“But it's been a while,” he murmurs the words along the back of my neck. “So if you've forgotten--”

I glance over my shoulder. “Forgotten who my ass belongs to?”

He breathes a low chuckle at the curve of my shoulder. “You better not have.”

“I don’t know. Remind me.” Reaching back, I close my fist around his thick shaft, urging him into me.

“Oh-ho, you act like I’m just gonna pound your ass because it’s been so long and that’s all I want, huh?”

Restless, I press my lips together and gaze up the rainy wall in front of me. “I didn’t say that.”

Then I feel his lips at my shoulderblade while he grips hard at one asscheek. “So impatient.”

I let out a loud groan and slide my palms up the wall in front of me before I rest my forehead there. “Don’t be mean.”

His hand coasts down my back, along my sides and I feel another kiss there, lower. Then again trailing the path of my spine. “Is this mean?”

“Tease,” I mutter the accusation against the back of my hand.

Then he grasps my hips and tugs them back. Pushing my hands against the wall to hold myself up, I look down to see he’s behind me on his knees.

His palm clenches the curve of my ass and I feel his fingertips squeeze. He massages it around until his other hand joins in, eventually skimming the crease along the center and his thumbs part me.

Even though I’m completely anticipating it, I still suck in a surprised hiss of air when his tongue grazes me. I call out, a loud swear as I close my eyes and push my head against the backs of my hands.

He only teases for a moment before he pulls me back against him even more, holds tight to my ass and buries his mouth deep.

I won’t be able to stand up, he’s got me shaking already. The light behind my eyes is swirling. Fuck, fuck, he’s so good it’s insane. The steady, unhurried, but still ravenous devotion from his tongue is enough to nearly make me lose it. And the way he muffles these growling moans there is so hot I’m gonna fucking kill him.

I feel him ease back and then I exhale a ragged, desperate breath when he just barely circles a fingertip right there at the rim of my ass.

“Oh my god, fuck,” I cough out, pushing back against him. I want him inside me so bad, I want him to fuck me with those fingers, but he doesn’t. He just traces the most cruel path, the faintest tight little stroke.

He groans again with this rapt fascination, like he’s so appreciative and I can’t even hate him like I want to.

I just let another moan rattle in my throat and push my head against my hands.

“You still need reminding?” He speaks up behind me.

Another hard exhale leaves me. “What, who owns my ass? It’s you.”

He laughs, loud from his chest and I can’t help but smile at the sound.

“God damn,” I add, weary as I hang my head. I could easily flip around and put an end to the tease. Pull him onto that ledge and tell him to cut it the fuck out and ride him until he fills me the way I need him to. I don’t know, blame it on my typical disciplined resolve, but I won’t challenge him. I’ll take it as long as I can because a part of me loves the painfully delayed gratification.

He hums another approving note as he moves back in and flicks another few wet strokes of his tongue before he tells me, “I can’t wait to fuck you.”

I have to scoff as I turn to look back at him. “It sure seems like you can.”

“I want to make you come here first,” he tells me.

A heavy breath pounding my chest, I reach back for him with my other hand. I grasp his hair, pulling him closer. Fuck, oh my god. I could ride his face I'm so needy with the way I arch against him.

I swallow hard and turn my head once again to rest against the wall. I grasp my own dick, it’s practically throbbing, and tilt my hips back.

I feel him ease up on his knees and he groans as he moves deeper spreading my cheeks and just fucking devouring me.

Letting go of his hair, I steady myself against the wall, jerking my cock until I succumb to an annihilating orgasm. It overtakes me in wrecking waves that just keep crashing into me. I flinch with another just as soon as I think they’ve left.

Finally I find the air I need and I prop my forearm on the wall to hang my head, letting the spray of the hot shower ease my pounding heart.

Something tells me this trip is going to be anything but a quiet twenty-four hours...

#jamie x noble #well it certainly didn't take long for jamie to get back to miami #he likes the culture and the nightlife okay #jk he's there for that dick #get it jamie you deserve it

23 notes · View notes

greennightspider · 6 years ago

Text

Fated Instinct Chapter 12: Confess. Confess and Repent.

Summary: Sequel to Cabin in the Snow. Akari finds herself in a predicament after an accidental overnight stay in a cabin grants her the title of fiance to the chieftain-to-be M’Baku himself.

Author’s Note: Yes it is dialogue-heavy forgiveth meh but also YAY I MADE MY SELF IMPOSED DEADLINE!

Chapter 1, Chapter 2, Chapter 3, Chapter 4, Chapter 5, Chapter 6, Chapter 7 Chapter 8, Chapter 9, Chapter 10, Chapter 11, Chapter 13, Chapter 14, Chapter 15, Chapter 16, Chapter 17, Chapter 18, Chapter 19, Chapter 19(2), Chapter 20, Chapter 20(2), Chapter 21, Chapter 22, Chapter 23, Chapter 24

Bonus Chapter 21.5

M’Baku x Akari (OC)

“Please, please help me.”

Akari took a moment to process what was happening, especially because she had thought she was going to have to throw fists, not hold hands.

"Akari please I cant do this anymore." N'Ceba started sobbing quietly, tears falling down her cheeks leaving Akari to try to switch from ‘fight mode’ to ‘friend mode’. Part of her was wondering if this was a ploy for sympathy, but until she heard her out Akari decided to comfort her sobbing classmate with an arm and gently sit her down, as N'Ceba looked like she was going to collapse.

"N'Ceba,” Akari started, slowly. “Tell me what's wrong."

"Akari I'm sorry I'm so sorry." N'Ceba choked through tears. "I didn't wanna do this right from the very beginning but I had no choice but everything was fine until the challenge day and then you and Baku got involved and I felt like shit-"

"Hey hey hey," Akari tried to soothe N'Ceba, who was clearly on a rambling confession. "Deep breaths, just deep breaths." She calmly instructed, with N'Ceba following her commands, which seemed to slightly lessen. "Why dont you start from the beginning, okay?"

"Okay." N'Ceba sniffed. Act or no act Akari couldnt help feeling sorry for her, it was hard to watch someone be so broken. Especially N’Ceba. Aside from her current ‘personal space issue’ with M’Baku, Akari could admit that N’Ceba was nice to be around. She was generally a happy person, always smiling, always happy, always social. Akari had never seen N’Ceba even come close to crying, even she accidentally got hit in the face full force with a ball.

"A couple of years ago, my father and his family took me to the palace and introduced me to Uuka. We would often go to the palace as my dad is a noble. We grew close and as luck would have it, Uuka and I slowly fell in love. He was so warm and kind and caring, I mean how could I not?" N'Ceba sniffed with a nostalgic smile before biting her lip. “He always looked out for me and cared for me. And one day in secret, since Uuka isn’t really one for big huge showy things, he went and told my father that he was the man I would marry one day." N'Ceba wiped her eyes as she continued. "While it wasn't anything official at the time, but it was something. We were going to tell people after the challenge day.” Akari’s eyes lowered and her mouth slightly parted as she knew where this was going.

"But the on the day of the challenge, when Uuka lost to M'Baku, everything shattered. What I hadnt realised at the time was that my father didnt want me to be with Uuka purely because he thought we were a "good match". No, he wanted our bloodline to continue in the Jabari throne. How stupid of me not to realise." N'Ceba chastised herself with a laugh, and Akari couldnt help but wince. Whatever misgivings she had, she didn’t think N'Ceba was stupid for thinking her own father wanted the best for her.

"It wasn’t enough that Uuka was good to me and treated me well and that he was a prince, no my father wanted his grandchildren to be friggin heirs." N'Ceba scoffed.

"Right after the challenge took place my father dragged me away by the arm and told me that from then on I was to act in a way that M'Baku would favour me. Or else. You know he would have beaten me if he wasn’t sure that it would affect my chances at wooing Baku."

"Ever since then I have acted the way my father wanted me to act. Slowly becoming closer with M'Baku, playing the typical 'fangirl'. And I know this all sounds fucked up but even you remember people never used to talk about me and M'Baku until a couple years ago." N’Ceba "And then when you came into the picture..."

"You were scared for your life."

N’Ceba barely nodded. "My father had pressured me to double my efforts, but it was pretty clear from the Winter Solstice Banquet that you two were a thing." Akari bit her lip and narrowed her eyes looking up, wondering if this really was the best time to divulge the whole ‘getting love-drugged’ story, but Akari thought it best to save for another time.

“Does Uuka know?” Akari questioned, but N’Ceba’s face said it all. “Uuka is the 'or else' isnt he.”

“I kept my distance since then.” N’Ceba sniffed. “

“Please Akari know that I am sorry I never meant to-“

“Its okay.” Akari held a hand up. "I get it now."

“But Akari this wasn’t supposed to be just me apologizing, I also came to warn you.” N’Ceba took a deep breath before speaking. “My father… even I’m not sure what lengths he would go to… have a foothold on the throne. I know it’s dangerous to speak of these things-“

Akari gripped her shoulder, settling into her serious demeanor. "N'Ceba it is treason."

“I know that!” N’Ceba exclaimed, gritting her teeth. “I know. And I have known for a long time. But I care about M'Baku. And I don’t want to see you two, or anyone else get hurt in the crossfire."

"Have you told anyone else?"

"No, I haven't. To be honest my father has eyes and ears everywhere and I can't be sure who is watching. Its why I have to keep the act up even at school." N’Ceba made a subtle glance at the door. I guess I’m not the only one with trust issues here… Akari mused. “And what exactly did you need my help for?” She drew out slowly.

“To believe me.” N’Ceba gripped her Akari’s hands. “That is my favour, believe me. Please.”

Akari exhaled and looked into N’Ceba’s eyes, judging her worth. Her story did fill some holes, however it was the fact that she would even dare speak of treason to Akari, that she would risk the stature of herself, her father and her family to only ask for belief.

“I only have one-

“I have no feelings towards M’Baku.” N’Ceba reading Akari’s expression. “I still love Uuka.”

“Okay.”

“Like I really love him.”

“Okay.”

“Like have you seen him shirtless? Like I mean those back muscles though.

“Ooookay.”

“And like you’d think he’d be all nice and sappy but when I well you he can be damn dominant-“

“OKAY THAT’S ENOUGH INFO!” N’Ceba burst out laughing at Akari’s outburst, who followerd suit with a laugh shortly after. “Well I’m sorry! It’s the first time I’ve ever been able to talk to anyone about it. About.. about everything.”

Akari gave her a sympathetic smile. “Don’t worry, I am 80% convinced.” N’Ceba laughed “Well I can’t blame you. I’d probably be more worried for you if you weren’t at least cautious.”

“Speaking of… in terms of who to trust. I think there’s at least one person that I know of in the palace who would be forever trustworthy, and that is the high priest.”

Akari tried not to tense up as flashbacks of birthing potions flooded her mind at the mention of the zealous priest. “And why would you say that?” She grimaced.

“Oh,” N’Ceba smiled. “He’s my grand-uncle.”

“…sorry he’s your WHAT??”

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

“My nephew. When will you let go of this obsession, this fixation that plagues you.”

“You know exactly why uncle.” The figure hissed. The two figures illuminated only in the light of the fire and candles of the temple, and the fire of the heated temper of the younger.

“M’Baku and Akari have been bound by the ritual.” The priest’s eyes followed his young nephew.

“It was an accident.” He scoffed.

“Did you not see for yourself at the Winter Solstice banquet?” The priest gripped his staff and furrowed his brows. “He has already pledged himself to her. They are in love. There is no going against the will of Hanuman.”

“We were so close.” The figure who paced in the amber light of the fire made no motion to show that he had heeded the old man’s words. “So close to gaining the bloodline of the throne and then that boy-” He all but spat, “Had to lose to that oaf and that harlot, Eshile’s daughter-

“Beware of how you speak!” The priest boomed. “They are the future bloodline of the throne, not ours!”

The priest then bit his lip in the silence filled the room after his outburst, tears threatened to adorn his eyes. “Why can you not let my niece be happy?”

“Happy??”

“Yes. To be free of this grudge, to be happy in her own right.”

“There will be no happiness for my family until we are where we belong.” The figure stormed away from his aging relative, who mourned the darkness in his nephew that saw no signs of regressing. He made for the darkness of the night that would conceal his intentions, gritting his teeth in the snowfall of the night. “Until we have what we deserve.”

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Taglist: @skysynclair19 @junesbride @great-neckpectations @muse-of-mbaku@hippiesandpeacesigns @jackburtonsays @coonflix @hi-looo12 @bonyg@romanceoftheeveryday @someareblindtoitsbeauty@wheredidallthedreamersgo@msblkshot710 @peaches-bbygrl @theunsweetenedtruth@blackpinup22 @airis-paris14@macgruberrrsimplyyamberr @blackpantherreblogs@wawakanda-btch@im5ftbutmythroat66 @vanitykocaine @iamrheaspeaks @aykanna@laketaj24@letsshamelessqueen-m @leahnicole1219 @cutewylie @titty-teetee @babygirlofwakanda @chefjessypooh (let me know if you wanna be added come join us ;) Comments ALWAYS welcome and appreciated

#greennightspider #fated instinct #m'baku fanfiction #m'baku fanfic #black panther fanfiction #mbaku fanfiction #mbaku fanfic #m'baku x akari #m'baku x oc #someone help me with the tags for some reason i cant tag peeps

67 notes · View notes

scarletraven1001 · 6 years ago

Text

Fear

29 – “I thought you were dead.”

A post-Buu Vegebul one-shot for prompt #29 on this post, requested by @saiyanprincessbulma.

Also on Ao3.

All Fics in this Series: 1 / 2 / 3 / 4 / 5 / 6 / 7 / 8 / 9

8-8-8-8-8

Note: Some angsty fluff for y’all today. I hope you like it!

8-8-8-8-8

Fear

8-8-8-8-8

It was as if nothing had happened.

When Vegeta returned after the defeat of evil Buu, Bulma was so relieved to have him back that she had simply grinned at him with a wink and a thumbs-up.

She welcomed him back with open arms, no questions asked.

She didn’t even want to bring up the Majin incident… how he had destroyed half an arena of people with barely a thought, and how he had sought to abandon her and their son for a few minutes of glory in a no-holds-barred fight against Son Goku.

How, in that powerful blast that destroyed hundreds of people, he had nearly killed her, too.

It was too painful to remember, so she decided that it was something that she needed to forget.

After all… it was all in the past, and past aches had no place in their future together.

However, it was during quiet and happy moments with him that the thoughts did resurface, and she stubbornly pushed them back, not wanting to deal with them.

She had no idea why that always happened… after all, if those thoughts were to bother her again, shouldn’t they show up when things were not going well? When she was upset with him, or when he had done something stupid or inconsiderate?

But no… the memories of his darkly-rimmed eyes and feral grin usually filled her mind while she watched Vegeta become an increasingly better father to Trunks, while he embraced her gently in his arms, or while he moved in ways that proved to her that yes, beneath all the pomp and arrogance, was a wonderful man who had a lot of love to give, but not much of an idea of how to give it.

The memories assailed her again as she watched Vegeta perform simple katas out on the Capsule Corp lawn, flanked by Trunks, who copied his father’s movements with increasing ease every day.

Bulma was sitting on their large balcony overlooking the grounds, happily gazing at the land and at her two beautiful Saiyans.

She smiled as she gazed at their faces that were focused on the next set of movements, the sweat on Vegeta’s bare back and on Trunks’ shirt a testament to their hard work.

They were becoming more and more inseparable every day, and their son was truly mirroring his father in more than just their faces.

Trunks practically was Vegeta, from his cockiness to his fiercely competitive nature.

Vegeta had extended his right arm sideward in a quick jab, and suddenly, Bulma was held hostage by the terrifying memory of him pointing that arm towards the audience stands and firing an unforgiving blast of ki at the unsuspecting onlookers.

She remembered the gust of wind that followed his attack, the sinking feeling in the pit of her stomach as she looked at the face of a man that she thought she knew so well… and realized that perhaps, she didn’t truly know him after all.

She shuddered, the tremors going up and down her body as the dread rose up in her once again.

Vegeta’s sudden movement caught her eyes, and she looked up from her somber musings to see that he had stopped his movements, and had turned to her.

Even from a distance, she could see him eyeing her questioningly, and she waved back at him in answer, pasting a smile onto her lips so he wouldn’t see the true turmoil within her mind.

She should have known, that her efforts to hide her distress would have been futile.

8-8-8-8-8

Bulma was in the bathroom, applying her late night creams to her face, when she heard a soft knock at the door.

“Bulma?” Vegeta’s voice called. “Are you alright?”

She smiled. Vegeta had taken to checking in on her frequently since the Buu incident, and it was her surest sign, the only verbal indication he had ever given, that he really cared about her.

“I’ll be out in a minute, Vegeta,” she called, finishing up with her face oils before she stepped out of the cold bathroom and into their warmer bedroom.

She flipped her short blue hair back from her eyes, casting her eyes around until she found Vegeta standing by the large glass walls.

He was staring out into the night sky, his black hair casting a shadow that looked like dark flames against their light marble floors. His perfect profile was illuminated by the lights from the outside, his tall nose a dramatic slope from his high, well-defined cheekbones and the firm set of his jaw.

Her husband was an incredible sight to behold, and Bulma stomped back the carnal desire that already rose up in her at the mere glimpse of his perfectly-defined arms and chest.

Vegeta turned to her then, and Bulma found the questions in his eyes before he even began to speak.

He took a deep breath, letting it out in a barely audible huff .

“If I asked you a question right now, would you promise to tell me the truth?” he asked.

Her eyes widened.

This… this was about to be a serious discussion.

She nodded, and he took another deep breath.

“Bulma…” he began, and he looked straight into her deep blue eyes as he went on. “Do you fear me?”

She stiffened, shaking her head. “No. I don’t fear you right now, Vegeta.”

“Right now,” he muttered, before he turned away from her to look out the window once more.

“Not right now,” he said, more loudly. “And what of other times?”

“Vegeta…”

“Have your feelings for me changed since the day I let myself be used by Babidi?”

Bulma gasped, a hand flying to her mouth as she unconsciously took a step back.

“No… Never,” she said earnestly, as her hands fell to her sides to grasp at the thin material of her sleeping gown. “I love you.”

“But a part of you has begun to fear me since then?” he asked, eyes narrowing as he stared sightlessly out the windows.

“Vegeta…” she choked out, taking a step toward him, one hand lifting as if to reach for him. “I… I don’t fear you. I promise.”

“Then why do I sense your terror whenever I hold you near?” he hissed, his eyes flashing back to stare accusingly into hers. “Why do I feel your fear whenever I lead Trunks off to train him?”

“Vegeta, I am not afraid of you! I-”

“Don’t lie to me, Bulma!” he yelled, and she froze, watching a thousand and one emotions battle for dominance on his agonized face.

He stepped towards her, and she took another step backwards as he came upon her, looming over her as his eyes shone suspiciously in the darkness.

“Even now, you move away from me,” he spat. “Even as you stand here claiming not to fear me, I can feel it. I can smell it.”

She straightened, determined to stand up to him. “I am not afraid of you, Vegeta.”

“Yes you are,” he insisted. “Your very bones shake in my presence. Admit it. You fear me-”

“I fear for you!” she finally screamed, and she stood stunned as, with the words, came a very sudden moment of clarity.

She feared for Vegeta.

The reasons why she had the sudden flashbacks to that most agonizing memory of Vegeta under Babidi’s control, suddenly made sense.

“Tch,” he said. “You fear for me? Woman, I am the most powerful man on this planet. What would you have to fear for me?”

She looked down, her hands balled into tight fists, as her eyes began to blur with tears.

“I thought you were dead,” Bulma whispered, voice hoarse from the torrent of emotions washing over her as she spoke.

Vegeta stilled before her.

“I thought you were really dead. Not ever coming back,” she said, louder, and she continued to look away from him, unable to meet his gaze as she finally confessed the doubts she had held in her heart since that fateful day.

“I thought of how you looked as you killed those people, and how that side of you was the last thing I had seen before I lost you forever. I didn’t want that to be my last memory of you, Vegeta,” she said, a painful rasp edging her tone.

Bulma closed her eyes as the image of his evil sneer on that stage entered her mind. “I wanted to remember you as I knew you. As the man I love. The wonderful man that I knew you truly were. And I was terrified about the fact that you had succumbed to darkness, and how you had abandoned the part of you that I know loves me.”

She finally looked up, and the tears gathering in her eyes finally fell, streaming down her cheeks as she watched his stunned face through her blurry gaze.

“And I know that you do love me,” she cried. “So when you hold me, I am frightened of how one day, you could get corrupted again and I will forever lose those moments with you… that you would choose to forget those moments with me.”

Vegeta’s eyes narrowed as she kept speaking, all the things she never said before tumbling erratically from her lips.

“And when I see you be a good father to our son… Our son, that beautiful boy that we didn’t even mean to bring into this world, I fear that you could choose to abandon him and he will be devastated, Vegeta.”

She walked closer to him, lifting her trembling hands to grasp the sides of his face.

“So, no. I am not afraid of you, Vegeta,” she said. “But I am afraid of anything that could make you leave us once again. I am afraid of losing you.”

She was not prepared for his arms wrapping fiercely around her waist, nor for his lips lunging almost blindly for hers, stealing her breath away in a passionate, desperate kiss.

His lips moved demandingly over hers, and she moaned, zealously cupping his face before her fingers sought to tangle with the thick strands of his hair.

He kissed her like a man dying of thirst, who had discovered an infinite oasis of the most delectable water within the caverns of her mouth.

When he finally pulled away, they were both gasping harshly for breath, and he laid his forehead against her own, closing his eyes as he breathed her name.

“Bulma… forgive me,” he finally said, and his eyes opened, gazing intently into her own. “I made a mistake. I should never have let Babidi control me.”

“It’s alright-”

“No, it is not,” he said. “I had believed that what I needed to be powerful was to break free from my attachments to you. I was wrong.”

Bulma’s tears slowed as he cupped her cheeks in his large, warm hands.

“My strength lies with you,” he said. “And I swear to you… Never again will I ever dare to cast you or Trunks aside.”

Bulma beamed, and she wrapped her arms around him, burying her face into the hard planes of his chest.

She laughed, holding him tight, as if her life depended upon how powerfully she clung to his body.

“I love you, Vegeta,” she whispered against his skin.

She felt his lips fall onto her head, gently kissing her hair, as he too whispered.

“As do I.”

8-8-8-8-8

End

#vegebul #vegebul fanfiction #vegebul fanfic #prompt fic #one shot #db fanfic #vegeta #bulma #dragon ball #angst fic #fluffy fic #scarletraven fanfiction

121 notes · View notes

readsfortunes · 6 years ago

Text

PERMANENT PLOTTING CALL, like this post if you’re interested in plotting with any of my muses and I’ll IM everyone <3 short descriptions with links are below the cut to help out as well, and the list will be updated if/as I make more muses. (mutuals only, and please specify which muse you’d like to plot with!!)

Sabine Beavoir aka Nightshade (fandomless cyberpunk oc)

Sabine is an assassin in a cyberpunk universe, which I am currently building. She was brought into this world by her mentor, who helped her years ago when she killed her father after he killed her mother and locked her and her sister in a room for three days. Sabine is very sadistic, she only does hired kills (lies, sometimes she strays from the path and does it purely for fun), but she really enjoys it. Verse-wise, I can work around to fit her into marvel or dc universes if needed, but anything that has a sci-fi atmosphere works.

Calliope Espinosa (fandomless vampire oc)

Callie’s a very powerful vampire. In the setting I created for her, she became the leader of an entire faction of vampires, and within that group she is called La Reina. She’s the owner of a vampire bar and cabaret, where all types of creatures are welcome as long as they respect her and her vamps. And the humans that come along are probably gonna turn into food. And yes, I will admit, she was heavily inspired by FDTD’s Kisa. She can fit in many different verses, anything works as long as she’s still a vampire.

Venus Von Spanx (fandomless drag queen oc)

Venus is a drag performer and dominatrix, owner and manager of a sex club called The Kink Machine (name probably to be changed). I still have a few details to work out about her, but it’s pretty simple, she’s a human oc that can fit many many verses.

Natalia Kaisekamp aka Personification of Lust (fandomless oc)

So Natalia has two verses that matter: one where she REALLY is the personification of sin, and one where experiments where done on her by what is called The Sin & Virtue project (also set in my cyberpunk universe). In this cyberpunk verse, she has no memory of her actual life, just memories that were implanted on her, they’ve made her believe she is the personification of Lust, just as they’ve done to the other people in this project, created for unknown purposes.

Václav Koller (Deus Ex franchise)

Václav is the owner of a bookstore called The Time Machine, which is actually a front for his real business: illegal underground augmentation clinic. He does neuroplastic surgery for people who still have augments (and the money to pay for this kind of stuff), but his clientele is mostly criminals.

Donovan (The Red Strings Club)

Donovan is a bartender and information broker, but for reasons yet unknown, he cannot leave his bar. His body also rejects modifications, and he’s one of the only humans who hasn’t had anything implanted or modified.

Nine Ball (Ocean’s 8)

Nine Ball is an amazing hacker, and currently owns her own bar, due to the money she gained from the heist. And……… I don’t know what else to say bc there’s not much about her in the movie and I’m a dumbass and don’t remember her real name. But I’ll work on this.

Lara Croft (Tomb Raider)

(I follow the Survivor Timeline) Daughter of a wealthy archeologist, Lara grew up in a big house with a fascination for all things ancient and historical, dreaming of being like her dad one day. However, his incessant research into eternal life (due to the death of Lara’s mother, Amelia), drew him further and further into reclusion, causing Lara to rebel against him for many years. After his death, and recently out of college, Lara decided to look into her father’s research, going into places he had been or spoken about, which garnered her a few interesting adventures.

Mollymauk Tealeaf (critical role)

(quick disclaimer: i still haven’t totally caught up with campaign 2 and i haven’t finished campaign 1, sorry). Molly’s a bloodhunter tiefling with purple skin and horns as ostentatious as his wardrobe. After being found repeating the word empty over and over, Molly was taken in to the Fletching and Moondrop Travelling Carnival of Curiosities, with which he travelled for 2 years alongside Yasha before the two of them joined forces with some more outcasts and formed the Mighty Nein. I am still undecided if there will be a non-fantasy verse for Molly, but.... probably not, for now, it’s all DnD centered. (But I would love having some stuff set before the campaign btw!!)

Zia Rodriguez (Jurassic World)

Zia is a paleo-veterinarian, having always dreamt of working on the island, however that never came to be because the incident happened soon after she accepted an internship at the park. Eventually, she joined the DPG to help with their efforts, hoping to study the dinosaurs once they were rescued, and to one day be able to tell the world more about these creatures.

The White Widow (Mission Impossible)

Alanna and her brother Zola are the children of Max Mitsopolis, a world-renowned arms dealer from whom they inherited the business. At some point, Max turned to using her illegally-obtained money for charitable purposes, something Alanna kept doing as well.

Bloody Mary (Fables / The Wolf Among Us)

A socipathic killer, Mary was the henchwoman for the Crooked Man before his death (verse based on choosing to kill the Crooked Man in TWAU). She left Fabletown for a while after getting severely injured by Bigby Wolf, hiding and plotting her next course of action. Mary’s back now, taking Crooked’s business for herself, intent on becoming a crime boss. Mundies call her Bloody Mary, an old legend that dares children to summon her in a bathroom mirror by repeating her name, and she visits all those who have the audacity of bothering her, teaching them a quite bloody lesson.

#hey there demons! it’s me ya local cryptid ♠ ooc.#plotting call

23 notes · View notes

theroyalweisme · 7 years ago

Text

Say Something (Liam x MC)

Book: Royal Romance

Pairing: Liam x MC (Riley)

Rating: PG 13

Word Count: +1900

Summary: She’s gone... Do you go after her? Or let her be happier on her own?

Author’s Note: Part 9

Wow has it ever been a LONG time since I’ve written this. I’m sorry for making you all wait so long... I hope it was worth it!

Catch up here:

Part 1 Hold On

Part 2 Stay With Me

Part 3 Stay Strong

Part 4 Be There

Part 5 Keep Going

Part 6 Don’t Rush It

Part 7 Don’t Let Go

Part 8 Hate Me

Tagging my lovelies:

@youwontlikewherewewillgo @chrstbll @pens-girl-87 @mfackenthal @mariawalkerwrites @captainkingliam @mrswalkerreynolds @queencatherynerhys @hhiggs @viktoriapetit @ranishajay @topsyturvy-dream @heatherfilliez

-Riley’s POV-

The water lapped gently against the shore as I stared out into the deep abyss.

I wonder what he’s doing right now… My traitorous mind moved to the only face that could still bring tears to my eyes. I wonder if he’s moved on… Who he chose instead of me…

I knew I had no right to have these thoughts and even less right to have the sharp stab of pain that followed them. I left. I couldn’t take any more. I abandoned my rights to care when I abandoned him… them.

My phone buzzed again in my pocket. Sighing, I pulled it out not evening needing to look at the screen to know it was Maxwell. He called at least three times a day. Usually every hour.

“I’m not ready…” I sighed, hitting ignore and shoving the device back into my pocket. My tense muscles began to relax as a familiar presence sat next to me. My head rested gently on Daniel’s shoulder as he joined me in staring at the abyss. Waves continuing to crash against the rocks.

“Tide’s comin’ in…” Daniel mused quietly, breaking the comfortable silence.

“I guess it’s inevitable…” I sighed pushing myself up from the rock I was sitting on.

“Ry…” his soft voice brought my gaze to his. “Are you ok?”

“Nope,” I smiled a watery smile, brushing under my eyes with my fingers. “But I think I will be.”

“You could always go back…” He shrugged, standing next to me. My throat caught as a harsh scoff burst forward.

“I don’t think I can, Daniel…” I looked back at the busy streets of the city. “No… I think I need to be here. Anonymous… It’s a lot harder to freak out when no one knows who the hell you are.”

Daniel sighed deeply before pulling me into a tight hug.

“You’re not going to freak out, Ry… Or screw anything up.” He pulled me back from the hug to study my face, my eyes refusing to leave my shoes. “From what you’ve told me he loved you way too much to let that happen.”

“But it did happen, Daniel.” I huffed, tear-filled eyes finally meeting his soft hazel gaze. “All I could do was freak out. I wasn’t me anymore.”

“Ry… You’re not you now,” he brushed a chestnut curl off of my shoulder. “You’re miserable. You’ve been here for a month. You’ve barely eaten… I swear you’ve lost 15 pounds. You’re barely functioning at your job. You just lie on my couch or sit on this beach when you’re not working.”

A sob escaped my throat as he pulled me into a tight embrace, his strong arms holding the tenuous pieces together as I threatened to crumble around him.

“C’mon… my shift starts in half an hour…” He whispered against my hair. “You can sit at the bar and keep me company.”

I nodded slowly, letting him lead me away from the crashing waves.

“So then Henry grabbed the piece of Lego and held it up to his head,” Daniel mimicked his son’s actions to me, I could see the small blond boy doing just that. “And Emily started telling him off, right? ‘Henry Michael, don’t you dare…’”

Daniel started giggling before he could even finish the story, causing a smile to cross my own lips.

“He threw the Lego at Em, didn’t he?” I laughed as Daniel nodded emphatically.

“Nailed her right between the eyes!” His arm wrapped tighter around my shoulders as he tapped my forehead. My head tipped back in laughter as he continued to lead me into the bar. “See what you miss when you’re off moping?”

I paused, briefly before stepping into the dimly lit establishment. Feeling a gaze on me, I turned to glance behind me.

“Ry? You ok?” Daniel’s concerned voice broke through my thoughts.

“Y-yeah…” My brows furrowed in confusion, not seeing anything out of the ordinary. “Sorry… I just thought…”

“You really are going crazy…” Daniel laughed softly, turning me back towards the bar. “C’mon… let’s get you a drink.”

I nodded softly, tearing my gaze away from the streets as I let him lead me through the door.

-Liam’s POV-

“You’re sure you want to do this, Liam?” Drake studied me closely as I pulled clothes out of my closet and into a small case. “She’s been gone for a month.”

“I have to know, Drake,” I sighed, pausing to rake my fingers through my hair. “I have to find her… Talk to her. Make sure she’s ok.”

Drake shook his head slightly as I zipped the case closed.

“What about court?” His voice was resigned as he followed me out of the apartments I was in. I hadn’t been back to my own apartments since I had found her note. I couldn’t bear it.

“Liam…” Drake’s voice caught me as I left my study, hoping to find Riley before she went off for her walk. “Have you seen MacEwan?”

“I was just off to find her, Drake,” I grinned widely. “She wanted to take a walk through the grounds after her meeting with Adriana, I figured I would join her.”

“Adriana’s looking for her,” Drake’s eyebrows knit together with concern. “She didn’t show up for her appointment.”

My eyes widened, small enough most wouldn’t catch it, but Drake did. Our pace sped up as we moved towards the apartments I shared with Riley. Jonah was still perched outside the door.

“Your Majesty,” he bowed, “Duchess Riley had noted you’d be meeting her at the Beaumont Estate. Should I call for the car?”

Drake’s eyes met mine as we silently communicated between ourselves. We didn’t have time to answer as Maxwell came up behind us. Jonah’s eyes widened as he saw the young Beaumont.

“Hey, guys!” He called joyfully. “I was going to see if Riley wanted to go and get some cronuts!”

I pushed the doors open, ignoring Maxwell completely.

“Riley!” I called, moving from room to room. Living room? Nope… Lights were out… Not in the bathroom either… Closet! Her favourite dress was gone… Along with what she lovingly called her regular clothes…

“Liam…” Drake’s voice called from our bedroom. He stood next to our bed… the sheets pulled tightly across it. His hand gripped a white sheet of paper.

My feet seemed to move on their own accord as I took the page from him. My hands shook as I opened it.

Liam,

I’m sorry.

I can’t do this.

I can’t be your queen.

Please understand.

It’ll be easier for both of us if you could just hate me for this.

-Riley

PS. Please don’t look for me… I won’t be found.

The writing smudged as wet drops fell on the page. A hand, solid, firm, fell onto my shoulder. My glance tore from the page to meet the intense gaze of my best friend.

“She’s gone…” I whispered.

“I know…” He sighed, pressing something into my hands. I looked down at the small object to see her engagement ring. My promise to her. My world.

“Get Bastien,” my voice hardened. “I want her found, Drake.”

“Liam,” Drake’s voice pulled me out of my thoughts. “What are you going to do about the court?”

“I’m not doing anything,” I nodded, clapping his shoulder. “You are.”

“I am…” he nodded before my words sunk in. “Wait… what?”

“I don’t have anything happening in the coming weeks. Court has disbanded until the social season,” I shrugged. “You shouldn’t have to do anything. And if someone comes looking for me… Distract them.”

“How?!” He demanded, following me down the hallway.

“You’re a smart man, Drake Walker.” I waved at him before running down the steps and into the waiting vehicle. “Figure it out.”

“Damnit, Liam!” He yelled from the doorway. “I’m not a fucking noble!”

Bastien closed the door to the car before sliding into the driver’s seat.

“Majesty,” his voice cut through the tension in the vehicle. “You’re sure you don’t want someone else to go in your stead?”

“No, Bastien,” I sighed leaning against the back of the seat. “I need to do this.”

He nodded slowly before pulling out of the driveway and towards the airport.

New York was always busy, but somehow she always shone brighter than everything else. I caught sight of her as I turned the corner to head towards the bar we met. I figured that was the best place to start.

My heart leaped into my throat as I saw her. She was tiny… Skin and bones. Her favourite black tank top hanging off of her in an unhealthy way. But that wasn’t the first thing I noticed… Her head was flung back as she laughed deeply at something the man she was with had said.

The man.

She was with.

He was making her laugh. I hadn’t been able to do that since the Homecoming Ball. Since…

Images flashed before my eyes. The ball. Her dress, golden and fit for a queen. The panic. The gun. The sound of the shot going off.

I heard Bastien call my name before I felt him next to me, ushering me onto a bench on the side of the street.

“Breathe, Liam,” he demanded. “Deep breaths… There you go… Keep breathing…”

“Thank you, Bastien…” I nodded as he pressed a bottle of water into my hand.

“You haven’t had a panic attack in a while, Majesty,” Bastien commented under his breath as I took a swig from the bottle. “Are you sure this is a wise choice?”

My eyes narrowed at him as he backed away from me slowly.

“I just need to talk to her, Bastien,” I sighed. “If she won’t take me back in any form… We’ll go home.”

The older man nodded as I rose from the bench.

“Perhaps you should wait outside, Bastien…” his eyes narrowed at me before nodding begrudgingly. I moved swiftly, purposefully, towards the bar. Bastien stood off to the side of the door as I inhaled deeply before pushing my way through the door.

The bar was quiet, only a smattering of people throughout. It was easy to find Riley in the establishment. Her chestnut brown hair pulled into a loose braid down her back. She played with a plate of fries in front of her as she engaged in a conversation with the man behind the bar. The man who led her into the bar.

Taking another deep breath I slowly moved towards the bar. Towards her.

The man manning it saw me first, trying to pull my attention from her.

“Hey, man,” he greeted warmly. “What can I get ya?”

“Whatever she’s having,” I nodded towards Riley, watching for her reaction. Her crystal blue eyes opened in shock as my voice registered. She slowly turned in her seat, our eyes meeting.

“Liam,” she breathed, her beautiful blue eyes welling with tears. “What are you doing here?”

“I came to get you back,” I whispered, stepping closer to her.

“But I…” She looked over at the man watching us behind the bar before turning back to me. “I can’t go back, Liam…”

“Can’t go back isn’t won’t go back, Love…” I cooed, rubbing a freed curl between my fingers. “We can work that out… But, Riley… We need to talk.”

She nodded as I pulled out my wallet, handing enough to cover whatever she had been drinking and more to the bartender. I held my hand out to the woman in front of me. She cautiously fit her hand into mine, pulling herself from the bar stool.

“I’ll call you later, Daniel,” she nodded to the bartender before allowing me to lead her out of the bar and into the street.

#trr #liam x mc #choices the royal romance #choices stories you play #choices: the royal romance #choices: stories you play fanfics #choices: the royal romance fanfics #choices: stories you play #sorry it took so long #angsty #angst for angst sake #more coming #I think #it wont be this long next time

136 notes · View notes