#and STRESS WILL AFFECT YOU PHYSICALLY
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One of my favorite things about my job is that our office is actually a semi-stylized cabin, complete with a covered porch. So on days like today, when business is slow and the rain’s coming down, I can stand outside, take some deep breaths, and just enjoy the view for a while.
Moments like this aren’t particularly special, I guess, but they always leave me feeling at peace and happy to be alive, so I cherish them all the same.
#peaches screams into the void#fun fact#I took a 43% pay cut when I quit walmart and came here#needless to say I had. quite a few people telling me I was making the wrong move#but I firmly believe this job is in part what’s kept me alive this year. and I’m not talking about my paychecks#my already fragile mental health deteriorated so badly at walmart that it even affected my physical health#most days I’d spend any spare moment on the clock I got in a bathroom stall with a pair of scissors just trying to alleviate the stress#I’ve made leaps and bounds in working to improve myself these past months#and that’s a hell of a lot easier to do when your job doesn’t make you want to die y’know?#and that’s worth so much more to me than a bloated paycheck#…I mean it WOULD be nice if I could get paid more make no mistake 😂#but as it stands I call it a worthwhile trade-off
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Cardio said my echocardiogram ultrasound, exercise stress test, and week long heart monitor all showed no serious issues, my resting heart rate is fine, but that my heart rate does seem to rise very rapidly under even small amounts of stress (postural changes, taking stairs, casually walking around my house) and rises very high (160+ bpm according to the monitor) so now I get to be put on beta blockers to see if they work and if they do she said that is sufficient evidence to confirm for sure that it's POTS.
Obviously could confirm it as well with a tilt table test but those are TORTURE based off what I've heard from fellow POTSies so I am very thankful that she doesn't think that's necessary and will not be making me do one.
#i was not expecting to get dx and meds this fast tbh but im very happy about it#i think the fact that she also has POTS herself helps because she is very well acquaintaned with what it looks and feels like#and how hard it is to actually catch with orthostatics in office unless youre having a bad heart day#so my orthostatics not being within range was unsurprising to her and she was like#'that doesnt mean anything you clearly still have a heart rate issue going on even if it didnt show itself right now'#i didnt do shit the entire week i had that monitor on to like physically exert myself but my heart rate still hit almost 170 a few times#also the doctor who did my stress test asked me if i ever experience any chest discomfort or pain and i was like hm no dont think so#and he went 'your chart says you have palpitations though?'#and i was like '... those count as discomfort???' akdjaicidjwjcjsn the answer is yes apparently#im just so used to them now because i have them daily that they dont even really register to me anymore#unless theyre bad enough to knock the wind out of me or make me cough#they just make me anxious which... ig is also a form of discomfort#chronic illness and chronic pain problems though lol not having a normal baseline for discomfort and pain#ndr#not dog related#health stuff#not that anyone probably cares lol but im excited about getting things that have neen affecting me for years FINALLY figured out#im not crazy im just disabled!!!!#*been
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#this is so incredibly stupid#but i've just spent such a long time worrying about my physical health and everything going on with that#(and there's still so much weirdness and uncertainty and scariness going on with my physical health)#but it just somehow never occured to me that i'm also depressed.#like. i had BAD depression as a teenager but i've been mostly mentally okay in the last 5 years. my issues have mostly been physical.#and then these last few months since all this scary health stuff started happening i've been so lethergic and unmotivated#and have been isolating myself from my friends#and struggling to find fun in any of the things that i love#i've been sad and stressed and empty but somehow. SOMEHOW. i did not consider that i was suffering from some Mental Unwellness dfkjfdjkdjkf#i just thought i was being pathetic#🫠🫠🫠#it sounds so stupid but now i realise i actually feel a bit better?#like oh. OH! depression! i hate you but i know what you are!#i'm not just a bad friend and an embarrassingly pathetic creature. there's a reason!!!!!#and there are ways to deal with it!!!#cool!!!#but also like it makes sense?! i'm incredibly sick and in a lot of pain and spending so much time getting tests and worrying#of course that's going to affect my mental health lol.#okay. anyway. yeah#tbd
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I keep remembering that back in the congregation I most recently attended, there is an elder’s wife who is a rockhound for the scientific and aesthetic intrigue, but also believes in crystal healing… which, all things considered, is absolutely fucking bonkers.
#exjw#”I don’t believe in any of the spiritistic stuff but when I rubbed sodalite on my palm when I had a cold it took my sore throat away…#So I looked it up and I guess sodalite helps the throat… so I think crystal healing works on a physical level.”#My sister in christ… that is… that is literally one of the most spiritistic things you could possibly say without getting disfellowshipped#FOR THE LOVE OF GAIA AND CERNUNNOS GET OUT OF THIS CULT AND BE THE TREE HUGGING HIPPIE YOU TRULY ARE#BE FREE#For the record I have no opinion on crystal healing and genuinely do not care if you believe in it#so long as you are also primarily doing tangible things to help yourself and not damaging your health because you only use crystals#I believe that one psychiatric doctor from Michigan who founded an asylum and said that beauty can aid the healing process#and if you surround yourself with beauty and good things; you are creating an environment conducive to healing#I also am more inclined to believe in reflexology so perhaps she was rubbing the specific area of the hand which affects the throat?#And crystals and gemstones can be heavy so holding them in your hand can stimulate your need for deep pressure if you are a sensory seeker#Or if you’re stressed they can be soothing to look at; and reducing stress is good for your physical health#So… technically… crystals can help PROMOTE health under very specific conditions#but idk about anything else#Maybe they do something spiritually?#But I don’t think crystal healing is necessarily all spiritual or all placebo#I think it’s just natural for humans to soothe themselves with rocks#It’s our inner monkey brain coming out and that’s a good thing#Society is too technical these days. Return to monke
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why are jobs always like “expansion of duties without increased depth or adequate compensation” . lol girl ew …. no like seriously EWWW ….
#i did the thing you’re not supposed to do (be honest when a manager asks for feedback about how they can best support you)#told them i’m stressed because i’ve suddenly become one of two (2) senior staff members and everyone else is brand new#and that none of the new people are being trained adequately and i don’t have time to train them and it’s affecting our client relationship#and the manager was like hmmm 🤔 well how about we give you privileges to shift around the day staff schedule so you can train them all?#LIKE HUH ????? HUHHHH ???#in what universe does me saying ‘i’m overworked and stressed the fuck out by (not their fault but) incompetent coworkers’ translate to#‘i want to continue doing the workload of 3 people while Also taking on the additional duty of training between 7-10 new staff’#I DO NOT HAVE THE TIME#OR ENERGY. OR WILL TO LIVE#and the sad part is i’m going to do it#because the alternative is letting our clients down#and i’m … not physically capable of Not doing everything in my power to prevent thaf. like what the fuck#pegasus speaks#i <3 using tumblr as my personal journal
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Look, I'm just saying, angry hate fucking, when I'm not expecting it would really do something for my mental health. I don't know what it would do but I guess we'll have to find out together <3
#inside of you are two wolves both want to be your stress relief#one wants to be a fidget toy for when your adhd needs something more to do#one wants to be your punching bag when you're angry at everything#i just wanna help#ive been in a mood lately#the mood is to go get on a plane and receive a large amount of physical affection and attention before i persh#i mean id definitely have a shit tonne of anxiety#but man#queer nsft#lgbt nsft#nsft#nblw nsft#lesbian nsft#sapphic nsft#wlw nsft#nsft wlw#dark feral
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Me: describing my daily slash owning experience to anybody
Them: wow that sounds demanding/annoying/terrible.
Well yeah. Sometimes. But idk there is something about this dog that forgives his negatives, he’s incredibly people sweet, a quick and eager learner, a hell of a hard worker. Demanding sure, frustrating sometimes absolutely, but so rewarding. So rewarding.
#dogblr#slash#alaskan malamute#I respect that some people just want a quiet house dog#and sometimes I do wish he’d just settle#especially when I’m#not feeling my best#but then you take him for a hike#or a pack walking or do weight pull or mushing#and he just…idk blossoms? he’s my easiest dog in these instances#or like the fact he actively seeks out physical#affection in the way the other dogs don’t for us#he IS the baby and we all know that#anyways. Tuesday thoughts.#we sometimes talk about how terrible it’s going to be to retire the dogs from#sports when that time does come#and we just look at slash and nod and know we won’t be able#he’ll have slower runs and teach younger dogs#I just cannot comprehend how stressed he’d be having to fully retire idk#whenever he gets the mildest tight muscle#or like…has sickness or injury#I freak out not just bc he’s my companion and I’d do anything to make sure he’s okay#but bc the thought of having to early retire this dog in any way is terrifying lmao
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Why would you wish your neighbors to fkn die just because they make noise?
gosh some ppl are way too sensitive and cant handle ppl saying anything at all huh
#bc im angry and they are RUINING MY DAY EVERY SINGLE DAY#bc they make noise that wouldnt be heard if they didnt live in next to empty apartments#bc im extremely nosie sensitive and get sensory overload very easily and noise makes me suicidal and homicidal#good for you that you dont care!!!! you are FORTUNATE for not being this heavily affected by noise. you're not better than me. ur lucky#grrrrrrrrrrrrrrr it makes me so annoyed that ppl like u just cant handle mentally ill ppl VENTING.#am i sending them death threats? no. am i beating them up? no. am i sending complaints to them? no. i am enduring my suffering#bc we live in a world where nobody cares abt ppl who arent normal. i am in genuine physical pain bc of this everyday#do u think this is fun for me???? do u think i want to be like this? no! i'd kille to be like u who can walk unaffected thru life!!!!!!#do u think i enjoy spending my days in agony just bc noise upsets me? i cant fkn focus on my school work!!!!!!! or anything else!!!!!!!!!#do u know that there is NOTHING i can do? i have to accept a life of daily torment bc im noise sensitive#if society allowed me i'd live in specific apartments designed for noise sensitive ppl. or in a cottage on the countryside#but society dont give a fuck abt ppl who diverge from being normal#also omfg just bc i vent and say i wish they died dont mean i actually genuinely want them to die#why are y'all so black and white?????? why is it so hard to understand that just bc u express smth in anger dont mean u ACTUALLY want it#tbh y'all are too much. and fkn unfair. ppl are actually allowed to vent in anger and let out steam and not suppress their emotions#i have never done anything to cause another person harm. i even have high blood pressure bc im so stressed out yet i never do anything#i have done NOTHING to harm my neighbors. the only thing i do is vent on my blog#do u really think theyre magically gonna die just bc i vent abt it???????#bro fuck off you made me even angrier like if u cant handle ppl expressing ugly thoughts#u and i are not compatible bc *i* know that u need to express things u might not even mean#but u clearly dont and need everyone to be uwu peace and love and perfect so just leave me alone go awayyyyyyyyyyy
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not so friendly reminder that if you think accessibility mods (or just mods to make games easier or simpler in general) for singleplayer games are cheating then fuck you
#lev.txt#games are about having fun!!!#its different in multiplayer games yea bcz that actually affects others experiences but in SINGLEPLAYER??#who cares ! let ppl have fun!#i have sooo many mods for rain world to make it easier#its a hard game and i physically do not have the ability to play it vanilla#like if you think me having a mod to that helps with my aiming for throwing things in a singleplayer game is cheating then . why.?#'ohhh it ruins the experience' so the experience is me getting stressed bcz im Bad .?????????#games are meant to be FUN ! and ENJOYABLE!
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The context to this image is buried somewhere deep in the dark and winding and labyrinthine parts of my memory and the only part I can remember is that my gf asked me which of these two would smooch the other to polite applause?
#the kolkpravis has been waiting long enough for applause to be a certainty#and yep for me the answer is qy#I tend to hc him to overthink physical affection less than rondu does#(Ronderu gets STRESSED and when she is stressed she also gets ANNOYED)#but yeah#this is mainly bc it was reaaasonably normal for him and his parents when he was small#then also normal between him and his adopted brother later (another story#another time)#wheras ronderu...she got to spend comparatively far less time with her parents before they were killed#and tho I also hc her as being raised by her brother#(his name is ankar and I'm sure he'll come up at some point)#he was more the punch-her-in-the-arm and say-heh-looks-like-you-weren't-too-bad-little-sis type than the hugging type#tl;dr these two being the way that they are#art backlog#digital art#star wars#star wars art#star wars fanart#qymaen jai sheelal#ronderu lij kummar#ronderu star wars#also cannot believe ronderu is doing paperwork in this image qy how did you do it??#general grievous#kaleesh#edits for image alt and changing the color of 'polite applause' to yellow
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AH now i remember why i hate it when things i like get popular. like of course i want to root for their success and want them to be more well-known, but that also comes with its own set of problems. when they come from relatively humble beginnings it would've taken them a lot of time and effort and hardwork to get to where they are now, and to have the unwavering support from their loyal fans
BUT when things start getting traction, their audience gets bigger, and the bigger the audience, the more likely it is for troublesome people to become "fans" of that person/media and cause really awful and troublesome things. this is especially worse if certain specific cultures end up being exposed to the mainstream, and there'd be severe clash of values and opinions due to the culture shock.
#like i really want the ppl i admire and look up to be appreciated by others more but goddamn i dont want them to be exposed#to environments so terrible it'll end up reminding them of how things were when they had just struggled to#exist as they were in the beginning#it's just stressful yknow?#it's too overwhelming to handle#at least with corporate affliated >tubers they have management to help them deal w/ the backlash and social pressures from those scenarios#but when you're just doing things on your own as an indie creator it can send them down into such a horrible spiral#it would affect their physical/mental wellbeing#everytime i talk about this i just sound so traumatized but can you really blame me#it's just something that happens so often#time and time again#it's terrible
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I did something for myself recently. I was really scared going into it because I thought I didn't need it. but I'm getting older, I don't want to always burden my friends and family with my emotions and stress. they have enough going on. paying someone to listen to me vent can be quite a concept to grasp but I think this could help me with a lot. including my irrational fears. and even if it doesn't help, I can say at least I tried.
#i mean it could be worth the $50 copay#and my stress OMG the physical symptoms#did you know memory loss and gaps in memory are affected
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bcs s6 thread pt 2
#they way they're turned on when they're scheming oh m ygodjdbf no i'm watching that again my bloodstream is on fire#sept 20 2023#and they hand holding ohhhhh it's so close and intimate and lovey dovey oh my god no liek r theyre the best ppl ever#i'm cryinggggg theyre so perfect i can't get over it#oh my god i'm so scared bc there's still that gif of them making out on the couch and the i love you so what aLie I AM SO SCARED#AND THE BLACK AND WHITE GIFS OF KIM AND JIMMY?#speed running this show was probably not my best decision..#what#her little ringlet ponytail is the best thing that's ever happened to me#cons are so stressful why do i keep watching shows about them#kim?#guys i love them soooo much#her laugh!!?!! and how he is the only one that makes her laugh#oh moooooo oh no oh no no no no oh no kim no no nooooonooo this is the beginning of the end i fear i am so scared#ohhhh.......................my god oh#oh my gawd i can't believe this is the first time kim is meeting mike#when she sits cross legged or with her knees pulled up 🤲🤲🤲🤲🤲🤲🤲🤲🤲#s6 mcwexler is just so! comfortable in their physical affection im so !! cnd bc v ndndnfjdnfn god#rhea looks like she just gives the best hugs so does janel tbh#naur what😭#howard this is sooo goofy#they way kim is untraceable she's soooo smart and getting howard back she's it's so#NAUR IS THIS FR?#WHAT ARE THESE OLD MEN DOING😭#KIM FLASHBACK OHHHH THIS IS OHHHHHHHH little kim caught stealing omgggg omggomgomg#UR JOKING OG MY GOD THE EARRINGS ARE THE ONES HE STOLEEE EHYEYSYEHEJSHFJDJ TAHTS SO OF RAZYYYGUHDNSNFJDNFJDJFJKSJFNFNSNFKJEJSJSKFUSUHRJCJS f#exec producer bob odenkirk is so sexy btw#kim💕💕💕 idk i am just so obsessed with her every move it's so#i wouldn't have met my husband guys i'm gagged the way they openly refer to each other as husband and wife it's sooooooo.#not even kidding every time she smiles i'm giggling kicking my heels twirling my hair
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When They Call You Clingy So You Distance Yourself PT. 3 | Hyungline
Warnings: Cursing, Mentions of Suicide
Pt1, Pt2 Maknaeline
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BANGCHAN|
You ran your fingers through your hair as you walked up to your front door.
The past week had already been stressful enough. After arriving at the airport, you realized that somewhere between you getting off the plane and getting to your parents' car your phone had fallen out of your pocket. You had to attend a funeral, your flight home had been pushed back by a day, and you still had a shit ton to do before you moved. Not to mention it ate at you the entire week that you were gone all you could think about was the argument you and Chris had.
Overall you felt absolutely shitty and you just wanted to crash.
You unlocked your door and slipped your shoes off and walked into the kitchen and set your purse down. You had left your luggage in the foyer, and were contemplating how nasty it would be just to leave your things in there until you unpacked at your new place.
You made your way into your room and flicked on your light and gave out a quiet yelp when you noticed someone in your bed.
Your heart slowed slightly when you realized that it was Christopher in your bed, hugging the bear he bought you in Europe when he was on tour.
He was curled in a fetal position, and knowing his nature, you knew he must have been staying in your room the entire week you were gone.
Your heartbeat sped up as you walked over to him, knowing what confrontation awaited.
He whimpered quietly in his sleep. Sadly.
"Christopher." You whispered, shaking his shoulder slightly. He whimpered again and you could swear you heard him say your name.
He must be having a nightmare.
"Baby." You said shaking him awake, harder this time.
Chris startled awake and looked at you. He stared for a moment as if you weren't real.
"Y-Y/N?" He asked quietly.
"Hey-"
His chest collided with yours as he pulled you into an embrace, and you immediately felt his tears wet your shoulder.
"I-I'm s-sorry b-babe. I didn't m-mean any of it- I didn't pl-please d-don't l-leave me. I'll do any-anything. I'll qui-quit wo-working so I won-won't be stressed an-anymore. A-Anything I-I mean it-"
"Love, shhh. I'm not leaving you." You said as you stroked his hair. It felt gross, and he smelled a little stale, and he looked worn out overall. You could tell that he probably hadn't moved much all this week.
"Did you really stay in my bed waiting for me to come back?" You asked quietly. He let out a whine into your shoulder refusing to let you go.
"Chris, I promise I'm not leaving you."
"But the boxes..."
You chuckled and stroked his hair again. "I'm moving, yes. But not away from you. The neighborhood I live in isn't the safest, and I figured you would like it better if I moved closer to the dorms, so you didn't have to travel as far in the opposite direction of your home." Chris still held onto you, and you could feel the downturn of his lips pressed into your shoulder like a soft kiss.
"You didn't answer my calls...I thought you broke up with me..."
You sighed and pushed him away from you slightly and you could see his heart sink a little until you kissed the edge of his lips, his slight stubble exfoliating your own.
"While I will admit, what you said wasn't very kind of you...I know that isn't you." You murmured, caressing his cheek. His brown eyes were wide and sad but filled with hope. "I understand you were stressed, and I understand I can be clingy at times, but that's only because I have so much love and affection for you, I have to get it out in a physical way. Or else I might actually explode." You giggle as you pinch his cheek.
His eyes widen slightly, and he opens his mouth to speak but you press your finger to his lips.
"Let me finish. I didn't answer your calls because I lost my phone at the airport when I went home. My cousin's spouse took her life so I went to go attend the funeral. I wasn't informed until a few days before, so I went to the studio to tell you I was leaving." You let out a breath. "I also wanted to ask you while I was there is you could help me finish packing since I have to be moved out in two days."
Chris looked at you. "I'm sorry for your loss, baby. I'm also so-"
"Shhhhhh." You said placing a quick yet super soft kiss on his lips. "Thank you for your condolences. But don't apologize for snapping at me Chris. I already forgave you the minute you did it."
His bottom lip trembled, and he started to cry, little hiccups coming through as he still apologized, even though you knew he meant it when you said he didn't. He repeatedly apologized.
"You're too good for me." He said once he calmed down, his quiet sniffles and hiccups infrequent.
"And you're too handsome for me." You said as you kissed the tip of his nose.
"You're beautiful though. Way more than me." He said staring holes into you. "When we get married and have kids I want them to look exactly like you."
You laughed and shook your head. "They need your smile though, which I have yet seen you give since I arrived." Your voice held mock sternness as you tried to look serious but ended up letting out a loud chuckle.
He was finally able to give you and actual smile, and his adorable little giggle finally peeked through. You poked your pinkie in his dimple and he giggled again.
You ruffled his hair once and then made a face.
"You need to go shower, love." You said your nose wrinkling.
He pouted and wrapped his hands around you, laying his head on your stomach. "Mmmm, just a couple more minutes. Let me hold you."
You sighed, a smile on your face as you looked down at the boy you knew you would spend the rest of your life with. You scratched his head affectionately.
"Who is the clingy one now?"
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MINHO|
"Y/N!" Minho had been running around for almost an hour. His voice was hoarse and the wind was biting at him through his coat as he ran. Knowing your stubborn ass you had probably only left the hotel in a thin jacket, with one or two layers at most.
He took a second to catch his breath and looked around. "Y/N!"
He was about to start off in a different direction when his phone buzzed in his pocket.
"Did you find her?" Minho asked when he picked up a call from Jisung. All the members of both Stray Kids and TWICE were looking for you.
"Sort of? She asked me to go pick her up from in front of the Louvre - she said she lost track of time but she's too scared to-"
Minho started running again. "Thank you! I'll call you when I have her-" He hung up and felt his legs move faster than he thought was humanly possible.
Please God...Universe...whoever please just please let her be okay.
He arrived and he looked around for you. When he didn't see you he started to panic until he noticed your figure swamped in one of is hoodies hunched over on a bench dozing off.
"Y/N!"
You perked your head up and saw your boyfriend running towards you, his long coat nearly flying off his shoulders.
He stopped in front of you and you braced yourself for him to start yelling at you after he caught his breath.
But instead of yelling at you his pants turned into desperate weeps.
"Minho-"
He fell down on his knees and you quickly joined him on the ground.
"You-you scared me I tho-thought..." He couldn't even look at you.
"I'm sorry Minho, I didn't mean to...I..." Your voice was wobbly. You hadn't ever seen Minho cry before in the entire time you had been together. You didn't know how to comfort him, or what to say to get his cries to stop.
It made you want to cry how vulnerable he sounded. How weak and broken.
"Its not safe here. Anywhere. Thats why I was so scared." He whispered looking up at you, his eyes rimmed red. "One of the girls said they couldn't find you and I panicked. I've been running around for almost three hours."
You felt a pang of guilt strike you in your heart.
"I-I'm so-sorry..." You began to tear up as the pain of being mad at Minho seemed to hit you like a ton of bricks. You missed your boyfriend. "I'm sorry for being clingy too. I thought you wanted to be alone so I hung out with the girls...but I felt like maybe they'd think I was clingy too so I thought I would just spend today alone-"
"Y/N stop. First off the girls will never and I mean never find you clingy." He wiped his face and chuckled, a small smile forming on his face. "We were in a meeting last week and they were playing rock paper scissors over who gets to marry you. I told them that you were mine and Tzuyu said 'did you guys hear something?'"
He licked his lips and took a breath. "Secondly you don't need to apologize, Jagiya...all of this...this was my fault. I shouldn't have called you clingy. Because your clinginess...its something I love. Adore even. You know how to respect boundaries when needed as well. But it's obvious I have work to do on that, because I crossed a line I never should have crossed. So I am so, so, sorry Y/N. I'm sorry that I can't manage my frustrations in a way that won't hurt you. And I'm sorry that I'm horrible at communicating. I'm sorry that I say things that never should come out of my mouth."
You look at your boyfriend and the sincerity in the words his is saying. You swallow as he continues.
"I'm sorry that I cause more trouble than it's worth sometimes. That I make things a little more stressful than they need to be as well. I'm sorry that I can't express my love in the way you need either." He takes a shaky breath and he looks at you; your hear thumping in your chest at his apology.
"I love you. I love you. So much, Y/N. But I struggle to express that love and affection properly...which isn't fair to you." He lets go of your hand and you instinctively reach out for the warmth of it again. He lifts up one of his knees from the ground.
"So please be patient with me. Be patient with me so you understand the depth of my love for you. It is going to take a long time...if I had to guess..."
He pulled out a navy blue velvet box from his coat pocket. You watched as he opened it and a dainty but elegant ring was placed in there.
"It will the take the rest of my life to be able to show you." His voice trailed off and he trailed his eyes up to yours as he waited for you to say something...anything.
"I love you Y/N L/N."
You shook your head. Minho felt his heart start to shatter until you giggled and wiped away your tears.
"You idiot, it's Lee. Not L/N. Lee." You held your hand out and Minho slid the ring on your finger, his own trembling.
"I'm sorry I ruined your elaborate proposal."
Minho cocked his head as he helped you up, pulling you as close as humanly possible to his side so he could wrap you up in his coat as well.
"How did you know about that?"
"Jisung told me when I called him earlier..."
Minho chuckled as you guys walked along.
"Thats why we should probably wait to tell him about our engagement." You admired your ring with a bright smile.
Minho shook his head. "I'm gonna tell him when we get back. Because I want the world to know."
You looked at each other and immediately bursted out laughing because you both had the same thought.
"And that will be the quickest way for them to know."
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CHANGBIN|
Changbin had sped past three red lights to get here.
He would not lose you. He couldn't. The past couple of weeks had been grueling for him.
Your presence was something he was missing in his life. And that furthermore showed him how much he needed you.
How desperate he was to keep you.
He pulled into the lot illegally and ran into the small coffee shop. All the memories he had with you flooded his mind, since this was you and his favorite coffee shop. He had just been so busy that you guys never had time to come here anymore. It was more than half an hour away from your house and his dorm. And even further from the studio.
He scanned the small area and almost immediately pinpointed you with another person. A guy.
He was in a nice outfit as well. Very clean and put together. Lean and tall.
He watched as you both got up and hugged each other and watched as you smiled brightly at the guy and laughed at something he said.
"Alright I'll see you Wednes-"
"No! You will not see her Wednesday!" Changbin said as he pulled you from the guys embrace. "Listen, I don't know who you think you are but I'm her boyfriend! And she hasn't properly broken up with me yet so you can't have her! And if even if she did I wouldn't allow it!" He stared the guy down. Or rather up.
Damn he's even taller than he looked.
"Y/N-ie did you not tell-"
"I'm the only one who can call her that! Well...me and the guys but you're not the guys so you can't." Changbin mumbled angrily like a frustrated toddler.
"Changbin! Quit being such a fucking dumbass!" You said smacking him above the head lightly. You turn to guy and apologize profusely. "I'm sorry, Bin is a little...possessive." A nervous laugh escaped you. "Like a Chihuahua...but not the kind quiet sweet ones more like the ones who have a bark bigger than themselves." You said looking at your boyfriend with frustration in the lines of your face.
He looked down as you apologized to the guy once more.
"It's okay Y/N-ie...I think this is a memorable meeting. I'll definitely bring it up in my speech when you guys get married." He laughed. "I'm Justin Kim. Y/N's brother-in-law." He held his hand out and Changbin looked between the two of you. Justin had a smile on his face while you were looking at Changbin with annoyance.
"Ah! I'm so sorry...uh..."
"I think I'm older than you but I didn't grow up using honorifics so you can just call me Justin."
Changbin bowed and apologized, but held his hand out to shake.
"My wife and I are moving here settling down here soon. She's back home but will be here next week with the last of our things. She was stationed here for a little bit when she was in the military and loved it and since her only sister found love here and doesn't have much time to come see her since she's dating an idol, she thought it would be nice to move here. I agreed since it is beautiful, and this where our family is." He motioned his head towards you.
"Although she might be a little upset that I met you before she did. Especially since she'll be entrusting you too take care of her little sister...although I feel like its more so because she's quite a big fan of you guys. Ever since Y/N-ie said she was dating an idol she's been keeping up with culture and your band, so she can better understand."
Justin smiled and looked over at you. "I'll uh...let you guys talk though. Y/N-ie I'll have your sister call you when I get home. She might be a little flippy floppy though because she went through the stock of pregnancy cravings I bought her." He hugged you one last time and pulled Changbin into a hug as well before walking off.
"Changbin are you really that idiotic?" You looked at your boyfriend and he tried to sputter out a response, but you interrupted him befroe he could form coherent words. "I think you are, I fear." You let out a defeated sigh as you slunk back into your chair. You looked tired.
"Jiwon, can you grab me my usual. And do you remember Binnie's?" Changbin turned to see a barista nod at you and start to prepare your order. He sat down across from you and quickly realized that he was mistaken about a lot of things.
"Binnie I would never break up with you. I may break your head open because sometimes my God I want to slap you upside it so hard, but I would never break your heart." The sigh you let out was deafening. "If you were so jealous about me talking and hanging out with Minho so much why didn't you tell me? You really think flirting with a barista to make me jealous is a good idea, babe? Really?" Jiwon placed two drinks in front of you guys. "Chan told me. I think he spotted it pretty quickly, and noticed how you were turning down her advances when I wasn't around. Also, rather rudely too apparently - because Seo Changbin what do mean to tell me when Chris said you made a gagging noise at the poor girl!"
Changbin's eyes widened, and his lip popped out in a small pout. "I'm sorry Y/N."
"It's okay Binnie. But there isn't a need to be jealous baby. I'm not leaving you for Minho, he's just an extremely close friend. I'm not leaving you for anyone else period. And I'm sure as hell not going on any dates. I had to dress nicely because we were doing a photoshoot." You gestured to the cafe you guys were currently sitting in. "Justin and I are going to be co-owners. I thought it would be nice to have a location closer to where we live so we can go more often, and that one little restaurant closed down so I thought it would be a good opportunity." A soft smile painted your face. "And it's partially selfish reasons...I can't help but think of us when I think of this place."
Changbin's heart swelled with affection. So much affection that it hurt him.
"So while I have been upset with you for the past three weeks I'm over it Binnie. I miss you so much." Changbin got up and moved next to you.
"You mean it?"
You chuckled and placed a kiss on his lips. "100%." You said connecting them again, a little bit more passionately, but pulling back when you felt a mass amount of messages come through your phone, and then it immediately started ringing. Changbin pouted as he stared at your lips as they turned into a nervous grin.
"Although...you might have a shit show in store when it comes to my older sister."
♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡
HYUNJIN|
You sat with Hyunjin the couch as you two watched your favorite series together. Today was your yearlong anniversary. You had been in bright spirits for the occasion as you guys went out and did things together.
Hyunjin slowly ran his long fingers through your hair, and he felt you slowly dozing off.
"Baby..." Hyunjin whsipered, "Are you sleepy?"
"Hmm, just a little..."
"Can we talk?" Hyunjin paused the show, not giving you a choice.
You sat up and you felt your heart thump in your chest.
"Yeah we need to."
Hyunjin nodded. "You go first."
"No you"
You both spoke at the same time.
"Marry me-"
"We should break up-"
You looked at Hyunjin dumbfounded and he looked at you with utter digust.
"First off... that is utterly disgusting that you would even consider breaking up with me? What are you some sadist? Deriving pleasure from my pain and humiliation?" He said putting a hand to his chest dramtically.
You looked at him with wide eyes. "W-Well are you some sort of crazy person?! What the hell do you mean marry me?!"
Hyunjin pouted. "Well you can call me crazy all you want I'm being serious." He ran a hand through his brown bangs. "We've been together a year. And I know I want to be with you for the rest of my life. And I know for a fact you do because how the heck could you not want to marry me? I mean we'll quite literally be the most beautiful couple God has ever put on this earth." He said rolling his eyes in a joking manner.
You didn't see amused, rather your lip was shaking slightly and your eyes watering.
Hyunjin bit his cheek and pulled out a little ring from his pocket.
"It's a little cliche, I know. And some will probably say too soon. But I know what I want." He said quietly.
He took a breath and spoke slowly, switching to his native language.
"Cling to me Y/N. For the rest of your life. Ask me how you look. Let my eyes cling to you when I admire you. Let my words cling to you when I say just how beautiful you are. Cling yourself to me every night before we fall asleep, and let me cling to you every morning when we wake up. Let yourself cling onto me when you feel like you aren't enough, and let me cling onto you so I can show the world that you are enough-that you are more than enough; and you will always be more than enough. Let me cling to you in the times where I feel you need reassurance, and I'll let you cling to me the times where you feel like I'm not sufficient enough. We may not be perfect but Y/N no couple is. I don't care what people think about us. We can be perfectly imperfect together. I'll let you cling to me so those hateful words have no room to stick. I'll let you cling to me so everyone around us knows that I am not me without you. That you're the one who completes me. Cling to me so tightly that if God forbid you ever leave you would take everything of me with so no o that no one else could ever cling to me. Because I won't let anyone else do that. No matter how much they claim to know what is best for me, they don't. Because if they did, they would know that it's you. And it will always be you. Thats why I'm so sure of this."
He slid the ring on your finger, as you watched him admire it on your hands. He didn't look up as he murmured quietly.
"Cling to me Y/N...I'm begging you."
You looked at Hyunjin and felt a few tears fall onto your hand as he held it with both of his own.
"You...you knew?"
Hyunjin shook his head. "Not when I said what I said. But Y/N I swear I didn't mean it in a mean way." He looked up at you helplessly. "In retrospect now I realize they meant it in a vicious way but...I genuinely thought that clinginess was a good thing. Isn't that how it's supposed to be when you love someone? Aren't you supposed to want to be with them?"
His brown eyes searched your face. "Because that's how it is for me. How it will always be. I don't want it to be any other way."
You felt your eyes prick up with tears.
"Did you really mean it when you said you want to break up?" He whimpered.
You shook your head aggressively. "No, Hyunjin no- I was just feeling insecure. I see how everyone reacts at us and sometimes I feel like I'll never be accepted as being your girlfriend."
"Fiancée." He corrected. "If they won't accept you as my girlfriend then I'll make them accept you as my fiancée. And if they want to be asses after that than tough luck because if anyone dares to not accept you as my wife than I'll find a way to deal with them." He said in complete seriousness.
You couldn't help but laugh as you moved your hands to cup Hyunjin's cheeks.
"Hyunjin I haven't said yes." You said quietly.
He gives you a determined look. "But you will say yes..."
He waited patiently for you to say yes.
"Jagiya. Three letters. Y-E-S. You just have to move your mouth to say it." He said stubbornly.
You shook your head.
"I'm not going to say yes Hyunjin."
His eyes widened and he opened his mouth to protest but instead you kissed him lightly, resting your forehead against his own.
"You won't say yes?" He whined.
"Nope."
"Why not...do you not want to say yes? Can you give me a straight answer Jagiya? Because I won't accept it until you say no. Until then I'll assume you are just being stubborn."
You smiled as your eyes met. Hyunjin looked at you waiting for you're answer. Which was so much more than a yes.
"I'll cling to you Hyunjin. Always. As long as you promise to do the same."
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@hardladytale @yaorzu-blog @viola-celine @jiminssluttyminx @pearl-monkeys @wave2ivy @keshet2k @dreammix88 @mysticalhumano @hannahlolo @periodpoops @m1rroh @seungmyynie @beebee18 @theodorenottgf @qrstarz @xocandyy @stay-tiny-things @vixensss @bo-fairykim @conwunder @parisanmorovati @lovesunshinefelix @hyunjins-dimples @ka0ila @imperfectlyperfectprincess1 @chuuyaobsessed @dollschan @katexstay @lisunny2 @abovenyx @adrisiwiris @dontwannaexist @minsungsthirdwheel @ray0magdalene @maaayytyroshka @ddiidi
(if I missed you I'm so so sorry <3)
#skz angst#skz stay#skz x reader#skz imagines#christopher bang#lee minho#seo changbin#hwang hyunjin#skz reactions#stray kids#skz bangchan angst#skz changbin angst#skz lee know angst#skz hyunjin angst
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Inheritances from Mother
This can also be hidden or suppressed aspects of your mother or key maternal figure.
Aries/Mars in the 12th House
sharp intense gaze with bright eyes; high energy levels or quick metabolism; strong or angular facial features, like prominent cheekbones
impulsiveness or eagerness to take action; competitive streak, or a natural drive to "win" or come first; very direct communication style, often blunt or straightforward
prone to headaches or stress-related tension; strong cardiovascular system; quick recovery from minor injuries or illness
Talents: strong athletic ability; natural leadership skills; starting projects enthusiastically; rallying people together
Mars: hidden injuries or tendencies to ignore signs or stress or fatigue; tend to have sudden bursts of energy followed by exhaustion, benefiting from alone time, repressed anger or competitive spirit
Taurus/Venus in the 12th House
sturdy or well-defined build with natural strength; smooth, often attractive skin; love for physical comforts, like blankets, plush toys, or scented candles
stubbornness and persistence in achieving goals; appreciation for luxury, beauty or sensory pleasure; tendency to take your time, like preferring a steady, relaxed pace
struggles with weight management; sensitive throat or neck, making you prone to colds or allergies; good stamina
Talents: eye for beauty and aesthetics, whether in art or design; culinary skills, particularly at making delicious meals; strong gardening or nurturing abilities
Venus: tendencies towards indulgence or escapism, particularly through food and comfort, which can lead to weight fluctuations or emotional eating
Gemini/Mercury in the 12th House
quick movements and expressive hands; youthful appearance, often look younger than their age; clear, communicative voice, often melodic/musical or chatty
curiosity or thirst for knowledge; "gift of gab", with a tendency to talk a lot, like carrying a conversation for ages without breaking a sweat; restless mind, always jumping from what idea to the next
energetic but may experience anxiety or insomnia; respiratory issues, like allergies or asthma; fast metabolism, tend to keep their weight in check without much effort
Talents: excellent communication skills, both written and verbal; quick adaptability to new situations or environments; talent for storytelling or entertaining others through humor
Mercury: mental restlessness and difficulty expressing feelings; anxiety and overthinking, benefiting from outlets for their thoughts like journaling or talking to friends
Cancer/Moon in the 12th House
round, gentle features or a soft face; sensitive stomach or digestive system; drawn to nostalgic objects, like family heirlooms or photos
deep emotional intuition and empathy; protective instincts, especially toward family or loved ones; moodiness, emotions shift easily
sensitive digestive system, affected by stress or emotions; tendency to hold onto water weight, making hydration important; strong immune system but may feel physically off when emotionally drained
Talents: great at understanding emotions; good intuitive abilities; nurturing skills, whether in caregiving or teaching; strong artistic talents, especially in visual arts or music
Moon: strong connection to your subconscious; strong emotional sensitivity; fluctuating moods or struggles with boundaries
Leo/Sun in the 12th House
thick, voluminous hair that draws attention; strong, upright posture with natural confidence; eye-catching personal style, with a tendency towards bold colors or statement pieces
need for recognition or acknowledgement; big-hearted and generous nature, often giving freely to those they care about; natural leadership qualities, with a tendency to step into authority or inspire others
tend to recover quickly from ailments; prone to heart-related issues, if they don’t manage stress well; high energy levels, benefiting from activities like dancing or sports
Talents: charismatic or performance skills, whether in acting or music; creative talents, particularly in theater or visual arts; strong leadership abilities that motivate and uplift others
Sun: struggles with self-identity and recognition, leading to feelings of insecurity; may experience burnout from needing constant validation, which impacts their mental health and energy levels
Virgo/Mercury in the 12th House
clear, glowing skin due to focus on health and cleanliness; precise, meticulous hand movements or gestures (type to fold a fitted sheet perfectly); good physical health, with a focus on taking care of themselves
always noticing small things or obsessed with details in some way (may ask questions often); analytical thinkers, love to solve problems and make sense of things; super organized, their space tends to be tidy and efficient
health conscious, often focusing on nutrition and wellness; prone to digestive issues due to stress levels or perfectionism; good overall health but may struggle with anxiety or overthinking
Talents: exceptional organizational skills and attention to detail; analytical abilities, particularly in problem-solving or research; talents in health and wellness, whether through fitness or nutrition
Mercury: perfectionism or overcritical thoughts, potentially resulting in anxiety or health issues; difficulty in recognizing own needs
Libra/Venus in the 12th House
symmetrical facial features or well-balanced appearance; graceful movements, often with a sense of poise; knack for fashion, good at stylish or coordinated outfits
diplomatic nature, tends to see all sides; people-pleasing tendencies; love for aesthetics, beauty, and creating balance
prone to stress-related issues, especially when dealing with conflict; strong skin and overall health but may need to watch their weight; social activities often promote your overall wellbeing
Talents: diplomatic skills and ability to meditate conflicts; aesthetic talents, particularly in design or fashion; creative writing skills, especially in poetry or romantic themes
Venus: people-pleasing behaviors that mask your own needs; tendencies to be stressed or anxious in relationships (romantic, platonic, domestic)
Scorpio/Mars/Pluto in the 12th House
intense, piercing eyes that seem to “see through” people; strong physical endurance or resilience; drawn to dark or mysterious objects, like amulets or crystals
super passionate, going all in on what they love; inquisitive nature, having a knack for uncovering hidden truths; natural air of mystery, keeping people guessing
strong stamina and resilience; prone to emotional stress, which can manifest as physical symptoms; strong immune system, tends to recover well from illness
Talents: ability to understand complex emotional dynamics; talents in investigation, whether in research or detective work; creative expression through deep, impactful storytelling or art
Pluto: struggles with deep-seated fears or hidden emotions, which can manifest as intense psychological experiences
Sagittarius/Jupiter in the 12th House
long legs or a tendency towards an athletic build; strong, healthy liver and digestive system; fondness for travel gear or souvenirs from different places
adventurous spirit, always seeking new experiences; optimistic outlook, with a natural sense of humor; restlessness, always seeking freedom or something new
often need regular physical activity to feel their best; prone to accidents or injuries from their adventurous spirit; good digestion but needs to monitor caffeine intake
Talents: natural teaching abilities, especially in philosophical or cultural subjects; gifted storytelling or public speaking skills that inspire others; athletic talents, particularly in outdoor sports or activities
Jupiter: tendency to seek escapism through travel or adventure; struggles with excessive optimism, leading to disappointment when reality doesn’t match their expectations
Capricorn/Saturn in the 12th House
strong bone structure, often with prominent features; natural resilient, especially to illness; inclination towards classic or timeless objects, like leather wallets or old watches
strong sense of responsibility and duty; practicality and grounded approach to life; discipline and perseverance, often willing to work hard
strong bones; prone to stress-related issues, especially from work; tend to have good long-term health habits, benefiting from routine and discipline
Talents: strong work ethic and determination to achieve goals; natural leadership skills, especially in structured environments; talents in business or finance; particularly in strategic planning
Saturn: feelings of isolation or self-doubt, often related to stress-related health issues; challenges with letting go of control
Aquarius/Saturn/Uranus in the 12th House
unique facial features or unconventional beauty; slim or wiry build, with a tendency towards quick movements; love for tech or quirky objects that showcase their individuality
independent spirit, needing their freedom and space to be themselves; unconventional thinking, often challenging norms; friendly yet somewhat detached in social situations, hard to read sometimes
generally good health, but may experience sudden illnesses due to their busy lifestyle; prone to circulatory issues or cold extremities due to their “unique” physiology
Talents: innovative think and problem-solving abilities; talents in technology, science, or humanitarian efforts; creative expression through unique art forms or performances
Uranus: unconventional thought patterns and a sense of detachment; struggles with feeling misunderstood, which can affect emotional health and relationships
Pisces/Jupiter/Neptune in the 12th House
dreamy, often soft or gentle eyes; sensitive feet or appreciation for comfortable shoes (like therapeutic socks or shoes); drawn to water-related objects or environments, like the beach, rivers, or fountains
highly intuitive and in tune with emotions; imaginative, with a natural artistic or creative flair; empathetic and compassionate, often feeling others’ emotions deeply
sensitive immune system, often catch colds or infections more easily; prone to stress-related issues, especially if they don’t take care of their mental health; tend to escape through food or habits that aren’t always the healthiest
Talents: creative abilities in music, art, or writing that resonates with others; strong intuition and empathetic skills; tend to be good listeners; talents in healing or counseling, particularly in spiritual or holistic practices
Neptune: deep connection to collective unconscious, leading to heightened sensitivity and empathy; struggles with escapism; need to be mindful of their emotional boundaries
#astrology blog#astrology#astrology observations#astro notes#astro observations#astro community#astrology signs#astronotes#moon#astrology tumblr#houses in astrology#jupiter in the 12th house#venus in the 12th house#saturn in the 12th house#mercury in the 12th house#sun in the 12th house#moon in the 12th house#mars in the 12th house#12th house moon#12th house#12th house stellium#signs in the 12th house#twelfth house
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thinking about s2 rafe & just want to comfort him so bad
you knew something had been off with your boyfriend. with the way he was constantly running around town and refusing to tell you anything about these 'errands', it was concerning.
it wasn't worrying because you thought he was doing anything disloyal, but you knew the immense amount of pressure he was constantly under thanks to his father and you just wanted rafe to be alright — even if that meant you weren't his number one priority for once.
not expecting much, you invited yourself over to tanneyhill when rafe had failed to respond to your string of texts. it felt stupid, but you just wanted to see the boy after being pretty much alone for a few days without his presence.
forgoing knocking, you step inside the familiar foyer leading into the mansion, shoes scuffing across the floor where your yoga pants flow over.
the sound of distant talking and footsteps echo through the house, but it doesn't deter you from continuing your path up the stairs to where you know rafe's bedroom is — admittedly the only place you've memorized how to get to.
looking up from your feet when you reach the second floor, you're met with the sight of ward who seems equally as surprised at the sight.
"hey, sweetheart. good to see you." keeping it brief, he gives your arm a squeeze before passing by and flashing what you infer to be a guilty smile.
soon, you're at rafe's door and suddenly don't feel so sure about the decision to come over — hesitating in the hallway.
when your hand reaches for the knob, your name is mumbled behind you. startled, your hand jerks away and you turn to look over your shoulder — now completely turning around and relaxing when you see your boyfriend.
his tired eyes and slouched posture along with the stressed ruffle of his sandy curtain bangs reveal his state of emotion, visibly breaking your heart as you step forward.
without hesitation, you lean up on your toes to wrap your arms behind his neck and pull him into a hug. as much as he hates to admit it, you know better than anyone how he craves physical touch.
rafe lets out a shaky exhale and practically melts into your body, arms snaking around your waist and combining the shape of your body with his own.
his head drops to your shoulder and buries in the crook of your neck, breath warm and uneven against your skin. bringing a hand to rest at the bottom of his scalp, you lightly drag your nails across it — acrylics grown out from how long it'd been since he took you out to get them done.
you're rarely the one initiating any kind of contact, but it comes naturally when he's right there, so vulnerable in front of you.
"i love you," you assure him, not expecting a response as you just wanted to let him know someone was on his side, no matter how fucked up he convinces himself he is.
"love you too, baby." it's deep and muffled against your body, sending a shiver from the contact all the way down your back.
you spend the rest of the day in his company, curled up in bed and occasionally wandering about the house. it's mostly silent since he still keeps all his troubles to himself, but being in one another's company is enough for both of you.
falling asleep in his arms and nothing's changed, he holds you as if you'll slip away with his face buried in your hair, hands ghosting over every part of your body — indulging in a softer show of affection he deems as weak.
but at this moment, he doesn't seem to care. all worries are saved for the following morning when you wake up once again in an empty bed.
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