#and Nicole asked her the same thing last game

[mossyeyeballs]

TW: mentions of pretty much everything terrible. 🍇, trafficking, all of the above.

CLASS OF 09 RANT, FLIP SIDE SPOILERS

Ok not my usual post (I’ve posted twice ik but shush) but what the freak was the flip side??….. I was a huge fan of class of 09 + the re up but this game was so.. what’s the word….. dog shit? Even if we ignore half of the game being about the creators weird foot fetish, the sl@ve ending was so unnecessary. I feel like the only thing in that route that was worth writing was the issue in retail work and that wasn’t even the star focus, let alone side focus. The main plot of that route was the counselor having some weird illegal 🌽 warehouse, jecka finding it, and then him blackmailing her into human 🚙 🚙 ing?

The only ending I thought was necessary IF THAT was when Jecka found Nicole after the sue a side ending from re up. I thought it did a decent job at talking about sue a side victims, and how nobody really cares about them until it’s too late, And even then they only care for a week or so and then move on.

But the Jeffery dying one was the most out of place in my opinion (unfortunately it beats the foot ending.) For starters, Nicole was really out of character imo, like yeah she’s talked about wishing Jeffery was dead before, but her actually killing him just out of boredom is so odd. Her entire character is “I don’t put effort into anything unless it benefits me.” Killing Jeffrey was not only ALOT of effort, but she gained absolutely nothing. On top of that, saying it’s different than doing. Like how she talked about wishing her mom was dead, but then when she had a heart attack, she panicked. Plus, she PLANNED on making Jecka take some of the blame on his death, which she stated in past games she wouldn’t do. She literally never put Jecka in harms way, let alone jail if it didn’t also benefit them both. But this didn’t, she just did it to do it.

While we’re talking about Nicole being out of character, I feel it valid to mention her and Jeckas dad. For obvious (and gross) reasons, I won’t be detailing this, but her doing that to Jecka wasn’t fully out of character, but still odd. Like I mentioned earlier, Nicole never really did anything to spite Nicole, so I find it odd that she did in this game. You could blame it on “oh she’s a sociopath she doesn’t care.” But I don’t think that’s inherently true. Yeah, I guess it’s canon she’s a sociopath, but in that case they do a bad job at consistency. She’s shown in both games 1 and 2 caring about people she’s close with, whether it’s Jecka, her mom, or even Emily in one segment. So I find it completely random that she did this to Jecka over something as small as not sharing how she got into foot work. Jeckas done much worse stuff to Nicole, and Nicole just didn’t care because they were friends, or didn’t feel the need to put effort into doing something if she did care. So yeah, Nicole basically screwing Jeckas dad over something so little felt out of character.

One of the few things that bothered me the least, but I feel the need to mention was the foot work stuff. Not because it was out of character, i fear I’ve seen worse stuff mentioned in that game. But I guess the way it was portrayed as less of a story plot and more of the creator trying to live out his fantasies. He himself has stated Jeffrey is basically a self insert, so the whole being sexually obsessed with Jecka and her feet felt REALLY weird. Compared to Nicole’s my space favor thing, this just felt dirty. For comparison. Both Jecka and Nicole took up sex work to keep a home life or lackthereof, they both got money from strangers to do sexual things, and they both hated doing it. But why did Jeckas feel so much more personal and gross? Because the actual sex work was shown. In graphic detail. And all of Jeffrey’s (the creators) personal thoughts were stated with no backlash. Jeffery literally asked Jecka if she would 🍒feed him, and he was excused. When Nicole was asked the same hing from the same guy, he was insulted, yelled at, even told to leave.

So, creepy creator who’s obsessed with his barely legal characters, Jecka being sold to 🚙 🚙ing agaisnt her will, Jeffrey being murdered for no reason other than a giggle or two from his haters, Jecka accidentally killing Ari cause she was drunk driving, feet fan service, and fan service in general aside, the game is left only with the regular drug and alcohol abusage we always see. which in the game that was advertised as a new experience felt really stale and honestly left me bored. The ONE SINGULAR time during this game that I giggled was when the hat man appeared in the Ari route.

If you’ve fully ignored everything I said in this, maybe didn’t care, or didn’t even read it. Id just like to mention for everyone that the creator of this game said that anybody who disliked him, his games, his writing, or his humor were kid diddlers. In full seriousness. So yeah, no shock this game was bad, but I guess I shouldn’t have expected better from someone who thinks his haters are all child likers. All this being said, I enjoyed class of 09, and the re up. I’m hoping the anime episode that comes out soon with be a decent save. all of THAT being said, I don’t support this creator. I don’t support his actions, I think he’s a shitty person who’s made some shitty jokes, but made some not so shitty games that I decently enjoyed. I also haven’t bought them, so none of my money has gone towards him or his projects. I in NO WAY support him. Thanks for reading.

Feel free to comment down some of your own opinions if you feel so inclined, I’m interested in what everyone else thought of this game :))

[burrowbaddie]

Me & You

Joe Burrow x Female Reader

Series Summary: Childhood friends to lovers to nothing. You and Joe had history, you were each others first and then you were nothing. Years later, you guys rekindle the flame but with more obstacles in the way this time.

Chapter 1 Summary: You try to figure out how you and Joe got yourselves into this current state.

Word Count: 4.9k

Warnings: Afab!reader, smut, swearing. Oral (female & male receiving), vaginal fingering, penetrative sex, vaginal sex, unprotected sex, cheating! (You are the side girl, sorry.)

Series Master

A/N: Hello! Omg I don’t know anything about football or the NFL! I saw Joe last season and I just had to join in this x reader tags! So be nice to me! I’ve been sitting on this fic forever! I was so nervous to post. This is all fictitious so pls be nice to me! 😭

You're standing listening to the crowd cheering on the Bengals. Your best friend, Mya, is drunk and screaming at the top of her lungs. You grab her arm to calm her down.

"Listen, I don't know how you scored these tickets, but I am going to soak up everything in this moment. Joe, let's get it done!" Mya screams near your ear. The name causes your head to snap in his direction. Joe's attention is on something the coach is saying to him. You sit down in your seat, feeling smaller than usual.

"So, who are you fucking for these seats?" Mya asks, sitting down next to you as a timeout is called.

"No one. My dad got lucky." You reply, laying your head on her shoulder. That was obviously a total lie. It was a lie you would have to keep because you knew precisely where you would end up after this game. In the same hotel, you've been meeting the Bengals QB for the last few months.

After dropping Mya home, you made your way to the hotel, walking straight to the room without checking in. A little after midnight, the front door opens, and the blue-eyed man makes his way over to you. You hand him a glass of water, but he opts for a kiss. You have to stand on your tippy toes to get more access to his mouth. Joe drops his bag on the floor and scoops you up. Your legs wrap around his waist as he carries you toward the bedroom. Joe tosses you down on the bed, and you giggle, watching him strip. The only thing you have on is a t-shirt, so it's easy for Joe to rip it off and leave you bare. Joe kisses from your ankle, slowly making his way up to your thigh, where he stops to suck on it. With your legs perched on his shoulders, Joe hovers his mouth over your drooling cunt. A starved moan erupts from his mouth as your juices hit his tongue. His rough hands tighten around your thigh as he buries his face into his meal, sucking and slurping on your clit.

Joe is a messy eater when it comes to you; your juices trickle down his chin as he devours your pussy. He can't even think straight because his mind has only one goal; making you cum. You clench around his fingers as he slides in two. Your eyes are barely open, but you prop yourself up on your elbows to get a look at the man between your legs. Joe's blue eyes were now dark and staring directly at you. It sends shivers down your body, and you plop down with an exaggerated moan. Joe flattens his tongue against your clit while thrusting two fingers into you. You close your eyes, feeling your orgasm come crashing down. Joe slurps obnoxiously loud and can't help but add to the sounds with his whines. He drinks every drop you release into his mouth. Joe sits back on his knees, face soaked, grinning down at your shaking body.

Joe moves back between your legs, this time slapping the head of his cock on your clit. He slowly pushes the tip into your sensitive pussy. Joe lets out a long groan as he slowly pushes in. But he doesn't get entirely into you because his phone rings. He rolls his eyes and pulls out, going to look for his phone. You pull the blankets over your body because you know the ringtone. It was Nicole, his long-time girlfriend. You bite your lip, watching him take the call to the bathroom. Joe returns with a look of sadness.

"I have to go."

You only nod your head. He kisses your lips, and then you head after getting dressed. And with a heavy heart, you watch him leave. You don't cry anymore, but that doesn't mean it hurts any less. Dragging yourself out of bed, you decided to run a bath and drink some wine. This expensive room won't go to complete waste. Once the tub is filled with bubbles, you slide your body in and lean back, closing your eyes. How did you get here with Joe?

"Joey!" You scream as the blonde spins you around in his arms. He has just finished practice, and you promised him a burger from Steak N Shake.

"I'm starving!" Joe wipes his sweaty forehead on your dry one. You scrunch up your face and push him away. Joe laughs and takes your hand as you lead him to your car. He threw his things in the backseat while you hopped in the front and started the vehicle. Taylor Swift's We Are Never Getting Back Together started blasting on the radio. You can't help but giggle while listening to Joe sing along. When you guys arrive at the restaurant, you take your usual spot. Two burgers and a shared milkshake later, you guys make your way to Joe's house. You lay down on the bed, waiting for Joe to finish showering. Laying there, you let your mind drift to thoughts about your upcoming AP Chemistry test. Joe interrupts your thoughts as he throws his wet towel on you after drying his hair.

"Your blonde hair is insane. You look so funny."

"Funny meaning hot!" He shouts, jumping on the bed next to you. You roll your eyes and smack him with a pillow. Joe lays back and pulls you down to his chest.

"We're going to be seniors next year. Time flies. We're getting old, Cheeks." Joe mumbled while rubbing your back. You smile at the childhood nickname. He's been calling you "Cheeks" since 6th grade because your cheeks were swollen from an allergic reaction the first time you met.

"I can't wait for college. Freedom!" You rub his chest and bite your lip.

"Do you want to have sex?" Joe whispers, causing you to crack a sly smile. You roll over and on his lap. Since losing your virginity to your best friend over the summer, the both of you have become a little more attached at the hip. It's not like you guys were dating. It's never been brought up between you two. Everyone in school assumes that you guys are dating, and it's not like either of you has denied or confirmed it; it's just assumed. That is how you guys kept things until senior year rolled around, and your feelings for your best friend weren't just laughs and giggles; it was butterflies in your tummy at every smile he gave you. It was the jealous feeling bubbling in Joe's stomach every time a guy got a laugh out of you. But both of you were too wrapped up in school and Joe with Football to move on from friendship status. So when freshman year rolled around, you had your first boyfriend; it lasted six weeks. It was a complete jerk-off and constantly pressured you to do things you didn't want to do. Joe stepped in and got you out of that situation.

Joe tucked his hands into his sweatpants as he walked you back to your dorm. Both of you had things you wanted to say but kept silent.

"The guys are playing well."

"Yeah, but I'm not starting. Shit is wack. I'm busting my ass just as much."

"I'm sure the coach sees that too." You stop in front of your dorm door and look up at your best friend.

"Umm, thank you for helping me end things with Matt. I was so wrapped up with having a boyfriend I just completely lost myself for a second."

"It's all good. I'm glad you're okay. I could've killed that guy, honestly." Joe rocks back on his heels, looking at you. You quickly become hypnotized by those baby blue eyes.

"I'm in love with you," Joe whispers. You swallow and hold your breath all at once. It's the confession that blows you away. You never thought Joe would utter it first.

"I'm in love with you too." You smile, nodding your head. Joe leans in to kiss you, and you wrap your arms around his neck.

"Fucking finally!" Quinn, your best friend, screams, swinging the door open. You hide your face in Joe's chest as your friends laugh. Quinn and Francis clap and pull you guys into the dorm.

"It took fucking forever for you guys to say it. Like everyone knew! Everyone knew!" Fran shouts, hugging you. You giggle and look over at Joe, who is wearing the same smile. He holds out his hand, and you two disappear to your bedroom. It takes a while for your heart to calm down from the confession. Even after kissing and laying in bed, your heart skipped a beat thinking about being official with Joe.

"How long have you been in love with me?" You ask shyly, listening to his heartbeat.

"Since 6th grade."

"Joe." You slap his chest playfully and sit up. Joe sits up on his elbow, staring at you with a puzzled look.

"Cheeks. I'm serious. It took me a long time to examine my feelings, but looking back now, I've been in love with you since I first laid my eyes on your blown-up allergy face."

"Burrow, you're something else." You move onto his lap and kiss his face.

Your relationship surprised no one, not even his parents. His mother knew her son was head over heels for his best friend. So, nothing made a drastic change between the two of you. Sure, you spent more time together, went out on actual dates, and had mind-blowing sex whenever you wanted. By the second year, your families were sure it was time to get married. But things between you and Joe weren't always picture-perfect. Joe was busy with football and studies, and you had your head way in the books to graduate earlier and attend med school. The time you used to spend together soon reached a point where it would be a week before you saw each other in person.

"I really need you to be at the capstone presentation. You know I don't do well with public speaking. I've researched all for the last three years. All my hard comes down to this. If I do well on this presentation, I will have the chance to complete a summer internship at-"

"Cheeks. I will be there. I promise." Joe kisses your head to reassure you. You hug him tight and believe his words. But for the first time, Joe breaks his promise. He not only misses your presentation completely, but he doesn't call you that night either. The next day he shows up at your apartment wearing his 1 million dollar grin.

"I have the best news-"

"Where were you last night?"

"That's what I'm going to tell you! I have the chance to play down at LSU. Last night I had dinner with-"

"I had my capstone." You whisper, cutting him off. Joe wipes the smile off his face.

"Fuck. I'm so sorry. I am. You did great, right?"

"I fainted. I stepped on stage and saw how many people were present and fainted."

"Baby, I'm sorry. I really am, but this is a big opportunity for me too. I-"

"You couldn't reschedule? This was the chance of a lifetime for me! This whole relationship, I have been behind you no matter what! And the one time I needed you, you flaked!"

"I'm always there for you! Are you kidding me right now!" Joe shouts, following you toward your bedroom. You decided that if this was going to be a screaming match, you guys should at least take it to the bedroom in case your roommates came.

"When? Name a time we've done anything I want. Your fucking selfish!" You scream, trying to close the door in his face. Joe closes the door behind him and begins pacing the floor. You feel like you're giving more in this relationship than him. This wasn't your first argument, but things started to build up over time, and this was bound to happen.

"I do whatever you want. I practically follow you around like a lost puppy! You have my whole heart. What else do you want?"

"I don't, Joe. You and I both know that. When it comes down to it…. football will always come before me. The countless dates you missed because practice ran late. The time you stood me up for some stupid football social."

"You- you said you didn't go."

"I went to the restaurant. I sat there for two hours. I didn't tell you that because I didn't want to hurt your feelings. I didn't want to make you feel bad."

Joe closes his mouth because you're right. Football was his main focus. He had dreams just like you had dreams. When it came to you or football, Joe was chasing his dream.

"I'm sorry. I didn't realize I was hurting you."

"Joseph, don't do that. You working hard towards your goals shouldn't be a bad thing. But maybe it's not the right time for us."

"Cheeks, I want you. I want you, and I want to make the first string. I want to be in the NFL."

"I know. I'm sure your coach-"

"I'm going to use the rest of my eligibility at LSU. That's where I was last night."

"You're moving to Louisiana? Joe, you didn't even ask me. What about me? We had plans once we graduated. The apartments we looked at."

"I'm sorry. I have to take this opportunity. Baby, I feel that this is the right decision. We can move down to Louisiana and-"

You shake your head, sitting down on the bed. Your heart and mind can't wrap your head around any of this. There was no way you could win. Joe made his decision and included you without your input. Before you can speak again, Joe's phone starts ringing. He answers it without hesitation, and you take a deep breath letting the conversation sink in. When Joe is finished, he kisses your head, letting you know he has to go. The argument isn't resolved, but neither of you brings it up again.

The week before Joe is set to leave is the day you make your decision.

"What do you mean?" The hurt in Joe's voice breaks your heart.

"Joseph, I can't pick up my life and follow you to another state. My life is up here. My family is up here."

"I'm your family too. We made plans and-"

"Plans you disregarded when you chose to play for LSU." You cut him off, sitting next to him on the bed. Joe rubs his eyes and places his head in his hands.

"I want you to follow your dreams. I know you can make it to the NFL. I know you will do amazing at LSU. I don't want to make you choose between me or your dream. So, I'm taking myself out of the equation." You whisper, grabbing his hand. There are tears in your eyes that match his eyes.

"I'm sorry. I should've talked to you about all of this, but I saw my chance and took it."

"There's nothing to be sorry about. I want this for you too."

The room remains silent as you guys ponder the next steps. Joe leans in and kisses your lips. Without another word, he leaves. And your friendship with Joe continued, but as his time at LSU began and your internship began, you guys fell out of touch. You got busy with medical school and him with football. And before you know it, Joe is a thing of the past.

That is until you guys meet again by chance. Joe showed up at the Cincinnati Children's Hospital one day for a charity meeting and ran into you. You freeze as the director continues his conversation with Joe and his parents. Robin, Joe's mother, waved you over. She pulls you into a big hug.

"How long has it been? Joe! Doesn't she look amazing?"

Joe can't even find words to speak. His tongue feels like it's stuck in peanut butter. His heart is skipping through loops.

"Ahh. She is one of our brilliant residents. We are happy to have her on staff. Bright future for this one." He says, hugging you. But your eyes can't leave Joe's, not until his mother pulls you into a warm embrace again. His parents leave you two to catch up while they finish something with the director.

"How have you been?" Those words leave both of your mouths. Joe chuckles and waits for you to answer.

"I've been okay. You?"

"Umm, great."

"I see that QB." You smile, slapping his arm playfully. Joe scratches the back of his neck. He's nervous. You can read him like a book, just like he can read you.

"Are you free tonight? My family is throwing this thing for some of my teammates and-"

"I don't want to intrude."

"Stop. We haven't seen each other in years, and I want to catch up."

"I get off at 9. Is that too late?"

He shakes his head, and you exchange numbers before returning to your rounds. The rest of the shift, the anticipation of seeing your first love again drives you insane. You can hardly keep your head clear. And when you finally clock out shower, and dress, your heart is damn near beating out of your chest. With a knock on the door, your heart is ready to leap out of your chest.

"I'm happy you came!" Robin pulls you inside, and you follow her toward Joe. Joe introduces you to some teammates.

"I can see why you called her Cheeks." Ja'Marr laughs, looking at you up and down. You can't help but shyly look away. Joe playfully pushes him away.

"That's not why I call her that. In 6th grade-"

"Joey, stop!" You whine. Joe pulls you into a hug. And the two of you stay there in your world. The cologne he is wearings sends your head into a dizzy spell. You missed him.

"Babe! Who's this?" A girl interrupts your reunion. You pull away, waiting for the introduction, but you know her already. She is on TV every day as the local News anchor. You blank out.

"And this is my girlfriend, Nicole." Joe finishes the introduction when you finally come back to life.

"Nice meeting you. So, you're the heartbreaker?"

"Nicki, we should see if your sister needs help." Joe pulls her away. You stand there wondering what Joe has told people about you. Ja'Marr throws his arm around your shoulder.

"Like glue. She sticks to him like glue."

You are saved by Robin pulling you into the backyard near the firepit. Your eyes stare into the dancing flame as around one around you mingles. When Joe plops down next to you, you turn toward him with a smile. Joe swears a similar smile; you guys get lost in your world just like before. It takes everything in Joe not to lean over, kiss, hold, or touch you. But your picture-perfect world is shattered once his girlfriend returns to his side. You look away back at the flames. When the guest starts leaving, you decide to make your exit, but Joe persuades you to stay later and catch up. And here you two are, awkwardly standing in his childhood bedroom, waiting for the other to speak up.

"I didn't think we would see each other again," Joe speaks first. You only respond with a head nod. You thought the same thing would happen as well. It was your fault for losing communication, but it's not like Joe made an effort after the fallout.

"Are you seeing anyone?" Joe asks. You shake your head. You can't find the words to speak. Joe reaches out and cups your face; you don't pull away. Instead, you lean into his touch.

"Have you missed me as much as I've missed you?"

"Yes." You reply, finally finding your voice. And Joe kisses you, tender and sweetly. Just like he did the first and last time you two shared a kiss. You don't pull away or flinch. You kiss Joe back with all the same amount of love.

"I'm sorry. I'm so sorry." He whispers in between kisses. You finally come to and pull away.

"Joe, you have a girlfriend now. We can't do this. I should go." You say, grabbing your bag and turning to leave, but Joe grabs your arm.

"I shouldn't have done that; you're right. But can we talk, please? There's so much I want to say to you."

"I think it would be better if we didn't do this."

"Why? When would be the right time to do this? You stopped contacting me. You went on and left me behind like I meant nothing."

"Joey, communication is a two-way street. In the last year of our relationship, I held things together! Hold us together! You made your choice to go to LSU."

"You said it was okay! And now you're going to throw it back in my face. It broke my heart that you didn't support me-"

"I always supported you! I have been your supporter since day one, which is why I had to let you go. Because I knew how much you loved me, and if I made you stay, you would have resented me." Your voice breaks as the tears start to flow. Joe shakes his head. No. There is no way he would ever resent you.

"Why didn't you come to Louisiana?"

"That wasn't the right path for me. You made that choice for yourself, not with my intention. I had an internship lined up, which helped rocket me into my residency. What did I have in Louisiana besides you?"

"We don't know because you didn't choose me."

"Joe," You chuckle and roll your eyes.

"I chose you the moment I let you go. Why can't you see things from my point of view?"

"And when you started blowing me off?"

"I blew you off? Oh God, Joey, do you hear yourself?"

"You stopped taking my calls and my texts. That wasn't you blowing me off? Did you meet someone else? Is that what it was? Was there someone else the whole time? Quinn told me you met someone else."

"I was depressed. I struggled after you left. I couldn't fathom the fact that we were done. I blamed myself, and I just-I had a hard time, and I was embarrassed that it was all my fault." You cry, letting the tears fall. Joe wraps his arms around you and holds you close.

"It's not your fault. It's no one's fault, Cheeks."

You sniffle and rub your nose on his shirt, causing him to chuckle.

"I want my best friend back." You whisper, staring up at him.

"Your best friend wants you back as well."

"As friends." You say the last part extremely low. Joe slowly nods his head. After that night, you slowly start working on your friendship again. But your feelings for each other couldn't die out. That's how you ended up in his hotel room in NY after a losing game to the Jets.

"Joey," You moan as he holds your legs on his shoulders. Joe continues to make out with your cunt as your vision blurs, and you cum all over his face. He slurps and drips every last bit. You lay there breathing heavily, trying to come down from your high. Joe sits up and licks his lips. he leans down and kisses you allowing you to taste yourself while he slides into you. Joe grunts feeling your legs wrap around his waist, pulling him in closer. Each thrust you feel sends you into space. You are hot and sweaty, and your head is clouded with reaching another orgasm. Joe's cock pounds away at your softness, sending you and him spiraling.

"Feels so good." You cry out, biting down on his shoulder. Joe frantically starts snapping his hips as he closes in on his second orgasm of the night. You release your legs from his waist so that he can move more, but you slowly start inching away, which only drives Joe to pull you back down and hold your hips pressed down to the bed. Your legs began to shake because Joe found your sweet spot and made you see starts again; the spot would have you creaming on his dick in a few more strokes.

"Don't run away, Cheeks. You wanted this remember? Let me have it. All of it." Joe stares down, watching his cock go in and out of you.

"Joey," You're crying. Crying tears of pure bliss.

"Yeah? Let me feel it, baby. Go ahead and cum." Joe's eyes light up as you reach another orgasm, and he follows after groaning and throwing his head back. You lay there again, trying to come down while Joe lets out a long sigh. You aren't sure what time it is, but you two have been at it since after dinner. A nice hot bath would be amazing right now for both of you. But of course, Joe and his superman stamina pull you up on his lap.

"Joe, break, please. Water." You try to get out the words, but Joe is already bouncing you up and down on his cock. You can't believe he is hard again. You wrap your arms around his neck and let him use you like a fleshlight.

"If you want water, you have to earn it, Cheeks." Joe moans, biting on your earlobe. You pout, giving him puppy eyes. Joe chuckles, burying his face in your neck.

"Just a little rest." You whisper. Joe pulls you up and off, laying your love-bitten body down. He stares down at you, stroking his dick. You can't help but bite your lip. Joe cums all over your stomach with a long sigh. You lay there watching the white liquid melt all over your midsection.

"Bath?" He asks you with a cheeky grin. You can only nod your head. When Joe came back with water, you were drifting to sleep. He kisses your head and tells you the bath is ready. You guys get in the massive tub, your back against his chest. Joe holds your hand, kissing the back of it.

"When are you breaking up with her?"

"I plan to end things next week. Her mother was pretty sick from covid so-"

"I get it." You stay quiet, staring at the bubbles. Joe can tell that you're mind is racing. He kisses your neck and promises things will work out. But things never work out for the two of you. Which is how you find yourself in the present day, only in a Cincinnati hotel room full of cum and regret while Joe is off to console his girlfriend.

Joe calls you the next day to apologize. You forgive him because what else can you do? The boy isn't yours; you're a sidepiece, his fun on the side. And it's weeks before you can see him again.

"Okay, so I narrowed it down to who is single on the Bengals and how you scored those tickets!" Mya shouts, pushing your office door open. You lean back in your chair, waiting for her to go on. She starts listing players, and to be completely honest, you don't know that many people from the Bengals besides the few Joe introduced you to a few times.

"Yeah, I'm not dating any of those guys."

"Coaches, maybe?"

"No. Let it go. I am completely single."

"Omg! Are you a side piece?"

You're stunned but quickly recover and shake your head.

"I'm talking to someone. I could never be someone's side piece." You laugh and watch your phone light up. It's a text from Joe asking to see you tonight. You turn your phone over and sigh. Mya turns on the tv just as the morning news starts.

"Joe's girlfriend is so fucking beautiful. I literally watch the news to watch her. How lucky are they? He's so fucking hot! She's so fucking hot! Think about their babies! Gorgeous." Mya lays on the couch watching tv. You take the remote and turn off the TV.

"I have to do rounds, so let's get going." You stand up, and she follows you out the door. Your shift ends at 11, and Joe asks to see you before practice. You guys meet up at your house for the first time. Joe scoops you up and kisses you all over your face.

"Joseph! Put me down." You squeal. He laughs and sets you on your feet. Joe bends down and smiles at the orange cat purring at his feet.

"Peaches is still hanging in there, huh?" He asks, picking up the cat. Joe brought you a kitten for Valentine's Day during freshman year of high school.

"What are you doing for Thanksgiving? My dad has been asking to have you over, and you know how obsessed he is with you-"

"I'll come. Of course." He kisses your forehead and makes his way to the living room. YOu guys lay around watching old movies, stealing kisses, and enjoying the company and comfort. Joe leaves a little after 3. You decide to check your mail. Bills. Bills. Bills. A manila envelope with no address stops you in your tracks. You open it, and inside, you find photos of you and Joe. Photos of you two leaving the same hotel. Your hotel. Pictures of you kissings in his car. You look around, trying to spot anyone who looks suspicious. Someone was watching you and Joe.

[therealcocoshady]

Recovery - Chapter 15

In the following weeks, you saw Marshall often. You made a point not to avoid him, even though you were still a bit heartbroken over the fact that he was dating someone else. However, you tried not to let it show, and he probably didn’t notice anyway. You didn’t have too much information on Nicole or that date. To be honest, he didn’t seem too keen on sharing those details, and you weren’t really in the mood to ask either. Of course, if he decided to share, you’d be a good friend, but you didn’t really see the point in putting yourself in a position of being sad. You were only thankful that you hadn’t confessed your feelings to him. That would have been awkward to say the least. You got to spend time with him whenever you hung out at the studio (which was rather frequent) , when he visited Jamal and Talia or when you were invited to anything anyone from the group organized. The only thing that had really changed was that you were never alone and that you made a point of not being too close to him physically, but he didn’t seem to mind. You weren’t even sure he noticed any difference anyway… You thought it would be best not to be all over each other all the time. Once again, there was no point in setting yourself up for heartbreak. If he had asked that woman on a date, it clearly meant he didn’t like you as much as you thought he did, or as you hoped he would. On a Sunday afternoon, you joined everyone at Marshall’s to watch the latest Lions’ game on TV. Initially, you weren’t too keen on going, but Marshall had convinced you to come. For some reason, he was really intent on turning you into a football fan. You weren’t the sporty type and couldn’t really care less, but everyone would be there, so you figured that even though you may not really enjoy the game, you would enjoy the company. 

When you arrived at his place with Talia and Jamal, you were greeted by Hailie, who you recognized from pictures Marshall had shown you. 

Hi Hailie ! Talia said before giving her a quick hug. 

Hey guys come in ! The game is about to start, she said. 

She looked really good and, as you quickly looked at her, you could see she had inherited some of Marshall’s features. They looked a lot alike. 

Hi, I’m Hailie, she introduced herself. I’m the daughter. 

I’m Y/N, you replied politely. I’m Talia and Jamal’s roommate, you explained.  

You entered the house and greeted everyone. Marshall was dressed casually, with black sweatpants and a Lions hoodie that brought out the blue in his eyes. He was painfully attractive and you tried not to stare too much. Everyone was sort of matching his outfit, as they were all wearing some Detroit Lions merch. You were the only one who didn’t. You were actually dressed in leggings, UGG boots and your hoodie from University. 

You went to uni here ? Hailie asked as she saw the logo. I actually have the same hoodie !

Yeah. I’m a PhD student here, actually, you explained. 

What are you studying ? 

Communications. It’s my last year ! 

Are you kidding me ? She asked. One of my best friends is a PhD student in communications too ! His name is Josh. Do you know him ? 

I do ! You said with a smile. We worked together on a paper last year. He is amazing ! 

The guy she talked about was very nice. He started his PhD work in the same year as you did and you had a blast working with him. He was by far one of the smartest persons you had ever met. And it didn’t hurt that he was really attractive as well. You and Hailie spent some time talking in the kitchen. As it turned out, you were the same age, born six months apart and had graduated the same year. You actually knew some of her friends and had attended a few of the same events and venues on campus, though you had never talked or noticed each other. 

I can’t believe we never actually met before today, she said. We have probably crossed paths hundreds of times without knowing. 

I know right ? That is so weird. 

So, how come I have never seen you around here if you hang out with Dad and the whole team ? She asked with curiosity. 

Well, I only started hanging out with Marshall and the studio crew recently, you explained. I moved in with Talia and Jamal a few months ago, after I broke up with my boyfriend. 

It’s crazy, everyone seems to be breaking up, these days, she said. Josh broke up with his girlfriend of six months a couple weeks ago. 

Oh ? I hope he’s ok, you said with a smile. Although I wouldn’t be too worried for him. He probably won’t be single for too long… 

I know, right ? Do you guys get along ? She asked. 

Yes, you said. I mean, we don’t really hang out too often, but we’ve worked together in the past and it was great. He is really nice too. I really like him. I think he might actually be the person I talk to the most, on campus. 

We’re going for drinks to cheer him up tonight. You should come ! She offered. 

Oh, I don’t want to intrude, you said with a giggle. 

You won’t ! You guys know each other and… I’m not going to lie, you are totally his type, she added. 

Good to know, you said as you blushed a bit. 

I could gladly set you guys up on a date, she offered. If you’re single, that is. 

Uh… sure, I guess that could be fun, you said. I think drinks tonight might be a good start. 

The two of you kept on chatting for a while, and you couldn’t help but think that, if you had met earlier, you would have been the best of friends. After all, it wasn’t too surprising. She was a lot like her dad, only more cheerful. He entered the kitchen and smiled at you. 

Glad to see the two of you are getting along, Marshall said with a smile as he grabbed a couple of drinks in the fridge. 

We’re actually going for drinks tonight, Hailie said. 

So now you’re stealing my friends, uh ?  He asked his daughter. 

Well Y/N and I do have friends in common, Dad. And I’m sure she’d rather hang out with people our age instead of old crones like you, she joked. 

You have no idea, you said jokingly.

Very funny, Y/N, he said as he rolled his eyes. You girls better get to the living room, the game is about to start. 

You sat down next to him as you watched the game. He tried to explain the rules of football to you and you tried your best to understand, but it was all a bit blurry to you. You understood what a touchdown was, but there was something about the yards that didn’t make sense to you. You silently cursed the Americans for their misunderstanding of the metric system. Still, you had to admit that the game was entertaining, as well as everyone’s passion for it. They seemed excited about every move the players made, and they were so involved you could have sworn they were part of the team, especially Marshall. He promised to take you to see an actual game, in person, so that you would finally get the hype. You agreed but didn’t really count on it. In a matter of weeks, he probably would take Nicole instead… 

After the game, everyone hung out for a while. You were talking to Talia when he came to get you. You went for a walk in the garden. 

So, you finally met Hailie, he said with a smile. 

Yes, you said happily. Your daughter is really cool. 

I knew you’d get along, he chuckled. Are you sure about going for drinks with her, though? 

Do you have a problem with me hanging out with her ? You asked. 

No, not at all, he said. It’s great you’re getting along. But, you know, you’re sober and she and her friends… they’re not. They’re responsible but still, I want to make sure you’ll be ok. 

Worried much ? You said jokingly. 

Well, yeah, he admitted. I know this shit can be hard. Plus, you know… I’ve been worried about your sobriety when we weren’t talking. 

Really ? You asked surprised. 

Of course. I mean, me talking about you overdosing… that was a shitty move, he said sheepishly. Especially a week after a relapse. 

Well I think I did pretty well, you said with a smile. I don’t want you to worry. I think I’ll be ok. Plus, I’m often around alcohol, you know ? When there are events at university, stuff like that. So, really, I’m good. 

Good then, he said before kissing your cheek. I’m proud of you, Y/N. 

That evening, you joined Hailie and her friends for drinks. Josh was happy to see you and reconnect. The two of you talked a lot about your respective research and the struggles of being PhD students. The conversation was easy going and you really enjoyed the moment. Hailie and her friends were so nice too. For the first time in weeks, you found yourself forgetting about Marshall, even though it was ironic since you were hanging out with his daughter. 

The night came to an end and you said goodbye to everybody, especially thanking Hailie for the invite. Josh walked you out of the restaurant to get a cab. 

We should hang out more. I had a great night. Can I see you again ? He asked. 

Sure. Feel free to come by my office on campus, you said with a smile. 

I meant, like, on a date, he added. 

We can grab coffee on Thursday if you want, you said before kissing him on the cheek and getting in the cab. 

It’s a date, then.

He closed the door for you with a charming smile and you stared at him as the car started. You couldn’t contain your smile, on the way home. 

From M :  Having fun tonight ? 

Reply to M : Yes. Made new friends and drank mocktails :) you ? 

From M : Good. Hanging out in the studio with Dre. Working on a couple of songs. He flew in tonight, he’s going back to LA on wednesday. 

You smiled as you read Marshall’s texts. Even on a weekend night, he was working. You couldn’t help but admire his work ethic and dedication. 

Reply to M : Can’t wait to hear them. 

From M : You can come to the studio on Thursday if you want. I’ll play them for you. 

Reply to M : Can’t. I have a date :) Friday ? 

Josh took you out for coffee and a walk for your first date and it was as if you were in a movie. The conversation, the hand-holding, the flirting and the kissing… it was perfect. You were giddy as you got home and told your friends everything. Talia was nothing but supportive. If anything, she was just as giddy as you. Jamal, on the other hand… he seemed unimpressed. 

What about Marshall ? He asked. 

What about him ? You and Talia asked at the same time. 

You know damn well what I mean, Y/N, he said. There’s something between the two of you. You like him.

Yeah, I do, you said. I mean, he is amazing. But we’re good friends. That’s it.

Bullshit, Jamal said as he rolled his eyes. You aren’t fooling anyone.

I don’t know, Babe, Talia said. I mean, I thought there was something there too but don’t you think Em would have made a move by now ? 

Right, you said. 

Obviously, you hadn’t said anything about what happened between Marshall and yourself. Talia only knew what had happened during the first movie night, but that was it. The only things your friends knew, they got from watching your interactions. 

I’ve known him for a while and he’s never cared for anyone like that, Jamal said as he shrugged. And you, Y/N… I’ve seen you around him. All… cuddly, and flirty and shit. Everybody can see it. 

I think we’re missing the important question here : what do you want, Y/N ? Talia asked. 

Look… maybe I was a little flirty, you admitted. But there’s NOTHING between Marshall and I. He doesn’t like me like that and that’s fine by me. On the other hand, Josh IS interested in me and is taking me on a dinner date on Saturday night. 

It was true. As soon as your first date had ended, Josh had booked the next one. He seemed interested in you and not afraid to show it. It was something you liked, as it left no ambiguity as to whether or not he liked you. And you could definitely use some of that, instead of dwelling on Marshall...

On the next day, you visited Marshall at the studio after you were done with uni work, as planned. He was alone in the room when you arrived. Everyone else had already gone home. 

Am I too late ? You asked after you greeted him. 

It was unusual for you to see him alone in the studio. 

All good. I wanted to stay a bit longer to listen to all of the tracks anyways, Marshall said. We have produced about thirty so far and I’m not sure about some of them. 

You sat on the huge leather couch and listened as he played some of the tracks for you. You closed your eyes as you tried to focus. 

Thoughts ? He asked after he had played about ten tracks. 

I don’t have any, you said. 

Well that’s not good, he mumbled. 

He rolled his eyes and put his head back as he sighed. 

What do you mean ? You asked. 

I mean I played you about a third of what I have and it doesn’t even make you think of… anything ? Like, are they that bad ? 

No, you said with a laugh. What I meant to say is that I know nothing about music. I wouldn’t know how to differentiate a good song from a bad one. That’s kind of your job, you know ? 

Mmmh, he sighed, still not satisfied with the answer. 

There are some tracks I like more than others, you said. But that doesn’t mean anything. What matters is your own opinion. 

Which ones do you like ? He asked. 

Do you really want my input ? You asked in disbelief. 

It can’t hurt, he shrugged. 

You went over the songs together, as you gave him your opinion on the beats or the lyrics. It was kind of haphazard, as you didn’t know the right words to use. He sometimes proceeded to correct you with a chuckle. 

No, that’s not what « reverb » is. 

No ? You asked in disbelief. You know… that kind of … sound and the way it goes ? 

Yeah, no, I see, he said as he laughed lightly. 

It’s crazy. It seems so easy for you, you said. 

As you said… it’s my job, he replied with a smile. Like I probably wouldn’t know shit about your work. 

Maybe, you said with a chuckle. I think you’d find it a bit boring. 

Probably a bit, he admitted. But I know you’re crazy smart. 

Believe me, as I’m writing, it feels like I’m unable to string two sentences together, you replied. 

Maybe Jack could help you with that. 

Who ? 

You know… your date, Marshall said. You guys do the same thing, right ? 

Ah. Josh, you corrected. I take it that you talked to Hailie ? 

Josh, he repeated. Right. Yeah, Hailie might have told me a few things. You guys work in the same field, so maybe he would be able to help you ? 

I don’t know about that. I have worked on a paper with him before but showing him my own work and for him to critique ? It’s kind of… 

Intimate ? 

Yeah. 

He smiled in agreement. 

So. Are you going to tell me how it went ? He finally asked.

I didn’t realize you were interested in my date, you replied with a smile. 

I care about you, Y/N. You know that, Marshall said with a serious voice. 

Well it went great. We went for coffee and a walk. We had a great talk. He held my hand. And he kissed me, once. 

Once ? He asked in surprise. Just once ? 

Yeah. It was a goodbye kiss. 

He nodded in understanding. It was a bit weird for you to talk to him about your date. He looked in your eyes as he waited for you to say more. 

What ? You asked with an awkward laugh. Want me to describe the kissing for you ? 

I’m good, thanks, he said with a grin. 

He’s taking me out tomorrow. 

So soon ? Damn, he must really like you, Marshall commented with a chuckle. 

Well, I am kind of a catch, you said jokingly. 

Of course you are, he said with a smile. 

He looked in your eyes and he got closer to you. It seemed as if he was about to add something when his phone rang. He looked away as he answered it. 

Hey… thanks for calling. yeah, tomorrow is great for me… 7:00 ? … good. Me too. Bye. 

He looked back at you. 

Sorry, he said. 

All good ? You asked. 

Yeah. It was Nicole, he simply said, with a casual tone. 

You stared at him and tried to prevent your emotions from showing. 

I told you about my date. Do you want to tell me about yours ? You asked carefully. 

I’m not sure there’s too much to say, he explained. Hailie set it up. 

You let out an involuntary laugh. 

Your daughter should really start matchmaking business. 

You have no idea, he replied as he rolled his eyes. Ever since her mother and I got divorced for the second time, she has been meddling. I can’t count the number of times she tried to set me up with her friends’ single moms. I usually don’t let her but well… who knows ? 

He laughed at the memory. 

So… want to tell me more Nicole ? You asked. 

Actually, I know her from… way back. Her daughters used to go to the same primary school as mine. I hadn’t seen her in years when we ran into her at the hospital. We ran into each other again a few days later when I was out with the girls and somehow Hailie got her to call me. She’s nice. 

She’s really hot, you said. 

I’m not commenting on that, he said as he rolled his eyes. Is Jack hot ? 

Josh, you corrected. 

Right. Is he ? 

I’m not answering that, you replied with a grin. 

You stared at each other and burst out in laughter. Somehow, it felt good to be able to talk to him about it. 

So… you like this Nicole ? 

She’s nice, he said. 

I mean… she must be kind of cool if your own daughter thinks she’s good enough for you right ? You asked. 

I guess. We’ll see how it goes. How about Ja- Josh, sorry. You like him ? 

I do, you nodded. He is really smart. Kind, too. And… he is really hot, you added with a wink. 

Oh yeah ? 

Yup. 

That’s cool, he said with a smile. 

The both of you chuckled. 

For real though, how do you feel about dating ? He asked. 

What do you mean ? You asked back, puzzled. 

Recovery isn’t an easy time. Are you sure you should be dating ? I mean, I don’t mean to be an ass, or tell you what not to do, he said. But maybe you should focus on yourself a bit ? 

You stared at him and said nothing for a second. It seemed pretty ironic for him to say that when he had asked you out a while ago, shortly after your relapse, no less. 

I like him, you know ? He’s really nice, and, at least, it keeps my mind busy, you said. I think I’m ready to date. 

He nodded and smiled softly. 

You know… this son of a bitch better be nice to you, Marshall said.

And what if he isn’t ? You wondered. 

I’ll make sure he regrets being born, if he ever hurts you. 

He’s a gentleman, you reassured him. And Hailie likes him. 

Right. Must be a nice dude, then. 

You looked at each other, smiling. 

You know, if Nicole ever breaks your heart, I can make sure some hair removal cream ends up in her shampoo, you said with a smirk. 

What if I’m the one who fucks it up ? He wondered. 

I’m sure you won’t, you said. Though if you do end up being an ass… I’ll probably have to dye your beard green in your sleep. Or shave it. 

I’ll remember the warning, he said with a chuckle. And I hope it doesn’t happen… It took forever to grow this thing. 

You laughed as you gently scratched his beard. He pulled you in for a long hug. 

It’s good, he said under his breath. 

Yeah. It really is, you confirmed.

[taylorsv3rsion13]

we never go out of style || c.f.

CONTENTS

CHAPTER ONE

CHAPTER TWO

CHAPTER THREE

CHAPTER FOUR

CHAPTER FIVE

CHAPTER SIX

A/N : this chapter even though it's the episode where conrad finds his mom w cancer, it's not gonna be in this chapter because i have other plans :) ALSO chapters will come out as quick as they can. i have been busy recently and will be busy for the next couple of weeks, though, i’ll try squeezing in some writing time.

words : 1.9k

synopsis : things were always rocky for conrad and you. after the whole break up, will everything be the same the year later? or will it all turn to shit.

Growing up pin Cousins, I made a lot of memories. And yeah, most of them started with a song, and ended with a boy.

Every summer I found myself dancing in the living room with Belly. Both of us being terrible whatsoever. We would complain about how we needed a dance partner, and then two of the guys would come in.

Usually I got Conrad and Jeremiah went to Belly.

For fun, Belly and I used to practice being debs. To think that we actually wanted to do it when we were younger.

"God we need partners." I complained as I fell onto the couch.

"Steven!" Belly yelled to get her brothers attention.

Steven scoffed a no as he continued to play his video games.

"Here, I'll be your partner." Conrad said as he got up from the couch, walking over to me.

"Jeremiah, please." Belly said as she practically begged him.

He laughed a little before getting up to help us.

The music continued as Belly and I were spinning around, yet we couldn't even take ourselves seriously.

I concentrated hard on the steps as Conrad counted out the beats. I messed one up as I stepped on his foot.

"I'm so sorry." I laughed a little.

He shook his head, "Don't worry, it's fine."

The four of us continued to practice ballroom dancing as Belly and I were spun around.

I did knock into Conrad a few times, maybe more than I should've which made the both of us laugh.

"Sorry." I said awkwardly.

"It's okay. It's fine." He would say.

And now, Belly and I were both in an actual dance room. Practicing for our moments of being a deb.

Cameron stood with her as I looked around awkwardly in the heels I was borrowing.

I practiced the steps by myself, but if I'm being honest, I just felt stupider. Everyone else had their partners, and they were all socializing, while I stood awkwardly in the midst of it.

I took off the gloves that I had been given as I took out my phone from my pocket. I needed Conrad to save me from this mess. Or someone atleast.

I texted him a quick "Hey" before putting my phone back in my pocket.

We had gotten a brief introduction of who Ms. Covington was, before we all began walking with her instructions. I turned to no one, and couldn't help but feel sorry for my own self.

"Hey. Where's your escort?" Nicole asked as she made her way over to me.

"Oh, I just haven't really found one. And none of the guys want to do it with me.." I said awkwardly smiling at Nicole.

"That's okay, uh, I-I'll be your partner for today."

"Really?" I asked.

"Sure, I'm your deb sister. But you're going to need an escort for your big night." Nicole reminded me. "Paige is going to have an aneurysm if you wait too long."

I laughed a little, "Yeah, so will Susannah."

We both laughed at the comment as she began helping me through the steps. I wasn't horrible, but I definitely wasn't good either.

"Did you do all this last year with, Conrad?" I asked Nicole as I missed her foot by a mere inch.

"Well, Conrad was actually spared Ms. Covington. I was supposed to go with this guys James, but he dropped out last minute. So Conrad stepped in to save me."

"Oh yeah, Susannah taught the boys a lot of dances." I said as I remembered the dances we used to do in the living room and in the ktichen.

"Conrad, actually, he-he had left me on read last night." Nicole stammered. "And I was wondering if you've seen him today."

"Um.." I thought back to last night and everything filled inside of me again. Happiness and excitement. "No, he was still asleep when I had left." I lied.

"Ooh!" Nicole exclaimed as I accidentally stepped on her foot.

"I am so sorry." I began to apoligize.

"No, no, it's okay, don't worry." She smiled as everyones eyes had turned to us.

"Are you sure you're okay?" I asked. "I'm so sorry."

"No, it's nothing, it's alright."

"Hey ladies." I turned my head to Jeremiah. "Mind if I have this dance?" He asked.

"Yes actually." Nicole and I both said which made us laugh a little.

"Belly..." Jeremiah said.

"Jeremiah, you're gonna get me in trouble with Paige." I said, pointing to his sheer basically netted top.

"Hey." He whistled over to Steven who happily took off the coat of his tux, handing it to Jere.

Nicole raised an eyebrow, "Okay, Harry Styles?"

"How's this? It's better?" He questioned.

I gave out a small laugh as I shook my head.

Jere didn't take much of the dancing seriously which made the both of us laugh as we waltzed through the room. I could hear snickers from Steven.

"Hey Alexa, play "So Pretty"" Jeremiah said quickly to the Alexa in the room.

The speaker began playing the song as we all looked at Jeremiah who was already dancing on his own with disappointed looks from Ms. Covington.

Ms. Covington didn't seem to care for long as she let us all dance to the music freely, obviously knowing she'd get complaints from us if we had asked her to stop with the song.

"What. Is going on here?" Paige asked as she came into the room. She ordered Alexa to stop and we all stood there, staring straight at her.

"Jeremiah Fisher, why aren't you at the pool?" She asked.

"We had a code brown." He lied. "Yeah, we had lost the keys to get into the chemical closet."

Paige shuffled through her little binder, pulling out a key and tossing it to Jeremiah. "There you go."

"Thanks." Jeremiah slightly whispered. He looked over to me, "See ya later, Y/N/N."

"All right everyone, let's try that again..." Paige sighed. "This time without, whatever that was."

I looked back up from where I was standing and saw Conrad in the doorway. I smiled at him as he gave me a peace sign.

What I barely saw was Nicole in front of me, who waved at Conrad as I did as well.

Nicole giggled as she made her way over to me, knowing she was my partner now that Jeremiah was kicked out.

My phone rang with messages, "Oh sorry, I just have to check this." I said.

My phone had a text from Conrad, saying "See you when you get back."

I couldn't help but smile just a little.

I continued dancing with Nicole, who now seemed to be in a better mood after the interaction with Conrad.

The practice didn't last long, giving me the perfect chance to go home, change into a swimsuit, and bike over to the beach for a quick swim.

I came home after the beach, seeing Jeremiah lay staring straight up at the sky.

I laughed a little, "What's with the flower crown?"

"My mom's getting ready to paint me as Hermes, messenger of the gods." Jeremiah said, but he didn't seem very stoked about it.

"Isn't that cool." I said smiling.

I looked around the backyard, but couldn't even find Conrad. I feel like something was happening between us again. I just didn't know what.

"Who you looking for?"

"Oh, I just um, thought Conrad would be back by now."

Jeremiah sighed before getting up, "Where have you been?"

"Just at the beach."

"You never go to the beach alone, are you okay?"

"Of course I am, I just wanted some me time." I said smiling.

"Well, if you are upset, Laurel and my mom... they're high-key stoned right now." Jeremiah said.

I looked at him in shock before laughing, "You're joking."

"I'm not!"

I shook my head.

"Yeah, all of the good snacks are gone."

Susannah had brought me out to inspect her painting of Jeremiah. Laurel followed out after me, but I couldn't stop staring at the painting.

"Ah- It's... um-" Was all that could manage to come out.

"Mmhmm." Jeremiah mumbled, trying to add on.

Laurel pointed at the painting, "Picasso and Jackson Pollock had a baby." She laughed.

"What?" Susannah said as she too had to get a better look of her painting.

All of us now stood around the painting, looking at what should've been Jeremiah.

"Oh my god, it's terrible." Susannah said as she began to laugh uncontrollably which made the rest of us break into fits of laughter as well.

Susannah and Laurel called us brats before leaving the house for a beach walk.

I walked up to my room, Jeremiah following close behind, "Come on, let's go swim."

I looked at my room. Clothes were scattered everywhere, and nothing was organized. "I actually have to clean my room, I'm sorry."

Jeremiah pouted, "How come nobody ever wants to play with me?"

I only smiled before walking into my room, "Later."

I mean I wouldn't say I was lying, but at the same time I wanted to hangout with Conrad, but he wasn't even here

A loud clammer from outside brought me away from cleaning. Conrad was outside, putting the easel and portrait back up.

I smiled as I made my way down the stairs, out to the deck.

Every summer focused on Conrad. This one was different though.

"You're back." I smiled.

He gave me a quick smile saying a quick "Hey" as well.

I helped put away some of the art supplies, as there was obviously some sort of tension yet again.

"How are you and your mom?" He asked.

I stammered a little, "Oh my mom- uhm, yeah we're good."

He took the water pitcher and paint brushes from me, our hands centimeters away from touching.

"What happened last night?" I asked.

"What do you mean." His back was to me.

I sighed, "For crying out loud we almost kissed."

"Really?" I was pretty wasted. Don't remember much."

He tried walking away, but I followed.

"Are you actually serious?" I asked, making eye contact with him.

Conrad shrugged, "Okay, so what. We almost kissed."

I stood there, just looking at him. I don't know what I wanted him to say, but I wanted it to be more. I wanted him to quit playing with me like how he used to.

"What do you want me to say, I'm sorry?" He asked.

I scoffed, "Are you sorry?"

"I don't know."

I just gave up. I couldn't win him and I was dumb to think so.

"Y/N, I think about you. And you know that I do. I just... I can't."

I held back all the tears that I possibly could. "I'm not playing these dumb games with you anymore."

There's been a lot of built up frustration recently. A lot more than I can hold. It's hard and it hurts.

It's hard being by yourself. Especially when everyone has someone else.

I waited a long time til Susannah got home. She was the one person I knew I could talk to. So as soon as she walked through the doors, she saw me.

"Hey, Sweetie, what are you doing down here?" She asked.

"Can I talk to you?" I asked, wiping away a tear that had just fallen from my eye.

She hugged me tightly, "Of course we can, I'll get a pot of tea ready for us.

I sat at the kitchen island as I watched her prepare my favorite tea. One that I used whenever feeling down.

"What's on your mind?" She asked as she sat down beside me at a stool.

"Do you believe in second chances?" I asked, looking up at her eyes.

"Of course I do. Especially for your age. You guys are new to love, experimenting."

"Susannah, I'm getting really mixed emotions and I don't know what to do."

All at once everything began to spur out of me.

Conrad walked in once during my little rant, but Susannah had shooed him off.

I jumped in the pool, ready for my late night swim. It was calming, peaceful almost.

Jeremiah hopped into the pool. But his tone was different.

"You're my best friend"

"And you're mine." I smiled.

"There are times where I wanted it to be more."

I looked at him in shock, "Jere-"

He grabbed my hand and I allowed it. I didn't stop him.

And there I was. 12 in the morning. In the cold pool. Kissing Jeremiah Fisher.

I let go.

"I'm sorry. I can't."

[sparklingmusicofstars]

Catarina Claes's physical description

Hello everyone ! I've seen a lot of talk about the appearance of all the characters, especially Catarina. Everyone has their point of view on the beauty of each character and others have preferences and prefer others. For my part I think that all the members of the harems + lovers of Maria, including the protagonist of course, are magnificent but I must admit that like everyone else, I have preferences. As a picky and perfectionist person, I wanted to give a decisive opinion on everyone's physique without letting my preferences for the characters stand out. I will also give as many details as possible. And I start of course with the protagonist of the harem : Catarina Claes !

PS: I will also include the point of view of some characters but not that of Catarina on herself because she is....Catarina. You see what I mean ^^; NOR characters in their romantic description. Although I will mainly highlight the beauty of the characters because I think it's important.

The face :

Big light aqua-blue eyes lightly upward with long eyelashes. Thin and soft pinks lips. A head full of silky smooth brown hair that exceeds her waist and a single hair strand hanging on the right side of her face. She often has a bright gentle smile on her face but can have an evil and menacing smile if she wants to scary someone (though it happens rarely)

The body :

A fair and soft snow white skin (according to a lot of POV) She is incredibly slender for someone who eat as much as her. (as I understand, approximately the same as Ginger Tucker when it comes to the size of a dress. She is tall with a very "womanly" body (from some POV). She has a fragrant sweet smell (according to almost all the guys, including Sliva in the game)

The style of dress:

She generally likes to wear comfortable clothes and doesn't like how the long dresses of this era keep her from moving as she pleases (even though the dress she often wears is shorter than what noble women usually wear) She loves cute things and prefers natural beauty instead of frills (although she seems to like this kind of clothing at events) Instead of wearing heels, she wears boots which are still quite elegant. And she would often forget to do her hair if Anne wasn't there to do it, or else she would do it at the last minute. She seems to like flowers and ribbons a lot. And having been an otaku in her previous life, she loves to wear accessories relating to the characters in her romance novels (like the necklace given by Nicol). Being a very humble young girl,she will generally refuse all expensive gifts and will never ask for an accessory of her own. If I had to say, her clothing style reminds me of Sora. Simple and casual but which suits them very well.

The voice :

From what I've seen from the anime, she has a pretty high-pitched voice that makes her sound like a child. Even though her voice is usually described in light novels as being gentle.

The aura :

She exudes a warm and friendly aura but can have a dignified, composed and elegant aura if necessary. And, according to Maria's mother, some kind of "regal aura". According to some characters who briefly met her, she immediately gives the impression of a wealthy person who grew up far from any danger ( Cezar and Liam). Maybe because of her innocence ? She's the kind of bright, positive person in a band and also has a knack for always saying the right thing at the right time and always mean it, which has earned her many admirers and suitors. And, I just have to add it, has a mania for saying and often making romantic and seductive gestures without realizing it, which does not facilitate the task of the members of the harem, (especially for Keith)

The special skill :

The one Catarina is best known for is of course her ability to win people over with her soft-hearted open personality (which got her quite a bit of courting in light novel 9, although that was also because she was beautiful) . And according to an extra story that @maboroshi-no kindly summarized (thank you very much for that ^^), she is pretty popular with high society men (although because of the harem, who doesn't want more rivals, we don't see it, what a shame...) From many points of view, her overwhelming charm knows almost no bounds. Men, women, younger or older (I wonder what Geordo meant by that ^^;) Even children !!! According to Geordo, she seduces people as soon as he takes his eyes off her... I really pity him... And usually she seduces them very quickly, sometimes with just a gesture or some words.

General opinion :

For a general opinion, I mainly took the opinion of some minor characters who meet Catarina for the first time and who have no idea of ​​her identity. From Ronnie and Bell Percy's point of view when they first meet her, they thought she was very beautiful and that goes for the shopkeeper's daughter, she mentioned that a lot of people come to the restaurant just to see her (I don't know if girls are in the lot) and her neighbor himself was in love with her. I honestly loved her comments about Sora and Catarina who thought they looked like a beautiful couple out of an illustration of a romance novel ^^. So I think if we had to rank in general I would say that Sora and Catarina have about the same level of beauty and physical charm. (given that Catarina's charm is rated at the same level as Nicol) Because I'm pretty sure that if the harem didn't threaten everyone around Catarina, she would have the same level of visible popularity as Sora. I also had the impression at times in the story that they made these kinds of innuendos.

My personnal opinion :

As far as I'm concerned, I think Catarina is a very beautiful woman, although she doesn't have any unusual physical characteristics (like red, silver, white or blue hair...) And I think that despite some moments in the light novel where you might think otherwise, Satoru Yamaguchi created Catarina to be as beautiful as her friends, albeit in a different way. (I think she mentions something like this in the light novel 6 post scritum)

That's it ! Thank you very much for reading, if you have something to add or comments on what I said, do not hesitate to mark them!

[deathdetermineslife]

Hehe hello :3

💍, 🫧, and 🪼 for the ask game, if these weren't answered yet?

- @puppeteeredheart

IVE BEEN WAITIN FOR THIS ONE! TURN IT UP!

(also 🪼 was answered here)

💍

in my head we are married. so married. we don't wear matching rings though. he keeps a picture of me in (what I choose to believe is) his locket. will attach picture below ↓. I'm a big necklace and locket person and me personally I would keep a lock of his hair in it. not a lot, just a small enough piece to keep inside a trinket I'll wear!

some people think it's a clock? I like that idea also but I love the idea of a locket more.

🫧

OKAY SO I HAVE A LONG LIST AND WILL OFFER MANY AN EXPLANATION FOR EACH (some of these only make sense in my head but that's okay) ((also, warning for mentions of kiyos backstory, which include referenced csa))

cherry waves by deftones - I said I'd offer an explanation for each of these but I honestly only feel this way bc of vibes

old friend by mitski - something about the lyric "I haven't told anyone, have you?" reminds me way too much of his backstory and it devastates me daily

please just stay dead by nicole dollanganger - a backstory thing again. "this time please just stay dead/and I guess I can't blame you, but I hate you all the same"

13 angels standing guard round the side of your bed by silver mt. zion - haunting. I don't have a better explanation

hard times by ethel cain - backstory, again. I actually made an art piece inspired by this for his birthday last year! it's on my main!

helena by my chemical romance (specifically the nicole dollanganger cover) - vibes. hes very,,, "death coded" character. so the imagery of hearses and death fits him.

gommene gommene by kikuo - self explanatory. fun fact, right after I finished trial three for the first time, I hit shuffle on my Spotify to have a good cry and this song came on. I haven't recovered from that.

alligator blood by nicole dollanganger - vibes. also, "grow up weak or grow up tough"

family tree by ethel cain - I have an illustration cookin up in my brain I wanna draw for this...

first love/late spring by mitski - I had a dream like three years ago about him and this song was playing in the background.

sweet dreams are made of this by marilyn manson - vibes. and like, disturbingish dark alternative music reminds me of him

iowa by slipknot - same as before

pet by a perfect circle - ↑ (also this song just fucks so hard)

bernadette by iamx - do you see the vision. do you see it. do you see the vision please—

insomnia by iamx - the lyric "oh my god, you're beautiful" did something to me when 10 year old me heard it for the first time then eventually I found Kiyo and thought "no so actually this is so him"

motion sickness by phoebe bridgers - I found this song in 2021 when someone made a post "no but this is his song" on TikTok and I agree whole heatedly everytime I go to cry to it I end up crying harder bc it's actually just so him it hurts </3 "I hate you for what you did, but I miss you like a little kid"

who is she? by I monster - back story. it's such a hauntingly beautiful song too. it fits him perfectly. "a misty memory, a haunting face. is she a lost embrace? I call her name, across an endless plane. shell answer me, wherever she may be."

heroin by badflower - same reason as last one. hauntingly beautiful. it's a beautiful song and it needs more recognition. "now she's in me, and I can't let her go" (I mean her spirit is literally inside this man like, hello)

I can't decide by scissor sisters - y'all remember when this was big in the fnaf fandom? yea same reason.

after dark by mr kitty - my ex like, fourish years ago told me this reminded her of Kiyo and I haven't let that go

I love you by HIM - vibes. fucks so hard, fantastic song

heaven tonight by HIM - same reason ↑

televangelism by ethel cain - made kiyo art inspired by this. I'll link it here, it's probably my favorite Kiyo art ever (ignore the hard times quote)

august underground by ethel cain - deep foreboding tragic instrumental. also made art for this.

hate me! by leæther strip (specifically the funker vogt remix) - vibes again. the beat, mostly.

the mind electric by miracle musical - reminds me of his trial

evelyn evelyn by evelyn evelyn - self explanatory

rule #4 by fish in a birdcage - I can't explain this one it just does

we will commit wolf murder by of montreal - same thing. just reminds me of him. no reason.

you are the moon by the hush sound - just a sweet and lovely song that makes me think of him. "you will see your beauty in every moment that you rise"

life fades to a funeral by carnifex - dark instrumental, also the title

summit song by nicole dollanganger - ↑ another instrumental

memoir #2 [06.12.09] by maria pseftoga - sad creepy instrumental

all of these songs are very good and I recommend all of them. also there's tons more but I have Kiyo art I wanna make and don't wanna spend all my time on this teehee

[firstelevens]

21, 25, and uh, the snippet one whose number i just forgot. 29?

21. Have you ever deleted an entire scene after spending hours laboring over it? If so, why?

Oh God, yeah, multiple times this year alone. I think the reason it takes so long is often the same reason that I end up having to cut it, which is that I like the idea or maybe even the execution, but it will simply NEVER get me to where I need to go in the story. Like, it's just that thing of being stalled out in a scene and looking for the problem five paragraphs back: I made something happen too quickly or I picked up the scene in the wrong place or I got carried away writing one particular part of the scene and then I just couldn't pull myself out.

I like to think that I'm getting better at catching it before I'm a thousand words deep, but I still end up here often enough that I don't think it's true.

25. Have you ever upset yourself with your own writing?

Yes! Like, I do know that they're fictional characters, but I'm invested in them and sometimes I get upset because of the things happening to them but also sometimes I just get kind of locked into a more tense scene and I can kind of feel myself getting more and more tense or frustrated as I write the scene itself?

I wrote an argument back in January and when I typed the last sentence I was breathing so hard that I had to go do a lap around my house and have a glass of water.

29. Share a bit from a fic you’ll never post OR from a scene that was cut from an already posted fic. (If you don’t have either, just share a random fic idea you have that you don’t plan on getting to.)

I had to hunt a little bit for something tailored to you and I couldn't find it BUT. When I wrote my FATWS/Cloak and Dagger crossover, the final chapter was supposed to be Ty and Tandy heading out for some kind of date (I think it was an anniversary dinner) and Ty spinning like a dozen plates while he got ready for that and handled things at work, and i ended up scrapping like 1200 words because they simply were not landing me where I needed to be.

Anyway under the cut is Tyrone being an upstanding young man who runs a shelter for Blip orphans but also being peak younger sibling and eavesdropping when there are other things to be done. He contains multitudes.

Cass says yes, so Ty waves over one of their college interns and tells her that Cass’s uncles will be coming by to pick him up and she should let them drop off their donations by the main office before they head out. She’s a new hire, which is probably why she furrows his eyebrows at him and asks, “But how will I recognize his uncles when they come to pick him up?” Behind her, the kids snicker. “Trust me,” Amara calls, “you’ll recognize them.” Ty gives her a look before turning back to Nicole. “Cass will point them out to you, but they’ll be happy to show ID if they need to. Sam Wilson and James Barnes.” Her eyes bug out slightly with realization and Ty tries not to laugh. “You’ve got this. I’m gonna get going, but if you need anything, Melissa and Oliver are in the office.” Nicole looks mildly overwhelmed, but nods gamely enough that Ty feels comfortable leaving her there. He checks his watch again as he heads up to the small office he shares with Tandy. She’s not at her desk, probably busy putting out a last minute fire before they head out for the evening, but she’s left him some paperwork to go over for the kids’ trip to the science museum next month.  He’s checking over the second page when he hears a car outside, rolling to the window in his desk chair to see the Wilsons’ truck pulling up to the house. The bed of the pickup is mostly loaded with bags of what looks like soil and wooden beams, but nestled in the corner are the boxes of books that Sarah said she’d send along for the kids. As Ty kicks off his sneakers to swap them out for his dress shoes, he hears the sound of a door opening and closing before Sam and Bucky’s voices drift in through the open window. “-definitely not doing zucchini; if I never see another one again, I’ll be happy. I swear someone was putting extras on that plant just to mess with me.” Ty snorts. Out on the sidewalk, Bucky drily asks, “Who needs world domination when you can take down Captain America with summer vegetables?” “All I’m saying is that we do not need to leave space in this plot or anywhere else in the garden for zucchini, not this year or for the next five.” “Noted,” Bucky says, and Ty doesn’t need to see them to know that he’s trying not to laugh. “Any strong feelings about eggplants?” It’s instinct to wrinkle his nose, but Ty tells himself that Bucky’s from the 1940s, and the meanings of various emojis were probably not high priority when they were bringing him up to speed on the modern world. He shakes his head and turns back to the paperwork, flicking to the next page as the conversation continues outside, Bucky asking if they’re late and Sam assuring him that they have another ten minutes before it’s time to pick up Cass. He’d close the window, but the room is small enough to be unbearable without fresh air, and Ty would rather not sweat through his new button down before he and Tandy even leave for dinner. He mostly tunes them out while he checks over the transport documents and the list of chaperones, but then he hears his own name. He’s braced to hear about some world ending event or another, but it turns out that it’s just Sam saying, “I know he and Tandy have their hands full here, but we should invite them up. Have everyone get to know each other when they’re not all risking their lives.” “Wait, is this why you checked out that book on team building at the library the other day?” There’s an extremely eloquent silence from Sam before he says, “Maybe.”

[angie-j-kay]

First Sentences Tag

Rules: Share the first sentence of your last ten fics/stories. If you haven't written ten fics, share as many first sentences as you have. (It should be noted that the character of Tracey Rutledge has been through several different incarnations, and has been shoehorned into a plethora of attemtped and abandoned fanfictions and goofy roleplay games before coming to What You Cast Out. Actually, she started out as a Phantom of the Opera fic I was doing as a joke back in '04, but whatever. Also, these are so not in order.)

1: Unwilling Messiah (Dragon Age/Tracey)

Ow.

2: Saving Prince Charming (Original Fic, same universe as What You Cast Out but otherwise independent)

Some say that this is the sort of story that should start with “Once upon a time,” or something like that.

3: (This one doesn't have a title, it's based on Norse Mythology.)

It was Yule.

4: (Same series, still no title.)

It was long enough ago that he couldn't be completely certain, but as far as Loki was aware he had always known he wasn't entirely Aesir.

5: Hannah (Original Fic, completely independent and SOMEDAY I will bring it to fruition. I'm actually super-proud of this story, so y'all can have a whole paragraph.)

Once upon a time there was a little girl named Hannah who lived in the dark. Not that she knew that she lived in the dark, of course. There were plenty of candles all over the tunnels, so she thought she lived in the brightest, happiest place in existence. She didn’t even have a word for sad, or for pain. She had lived there forever, if you asked her. She couldn’t remember anything before the darkness, or exactly when it started, so it must have been forever.

6: Pass the Popcorn (Doctor Who/Star Trek crossover, back when Matt Smith was the Doctor.)

“Q, I demand that you return us all to our ships immediately!” Picard shouted, infuriated.

7: Mulcahy's Miracle (MASH/X-Men crossover written as a dare, I think it might actually still be on Fanfiction.net somewhere.)

There were so many bodies in the truck... so many.

8: "Nicole Goes to the Republic" is the file name. This one's OLD, like over a decade old. It's a Star Wars Prequel fic based on a freaking awesome dream I had once.

I popped a stick of Winterfresh into my mouth, laughing at the crack the dude sitting next to me had made.

9: Tracey and the Hobbits (Written PURELY to squick my husband out, and because things like sex sort of went unmentioned in Lord of the Rings. For context, you're gonna need the whole paragraph.)

It started with a Hobbit. Two hobbits, actually. If you asked her, however, Tracey would say that it started about three days before, with ale. That was when Pippin had said it.

10: This one's labelled "Soulmate AU Crackfic," and it's based on a joke. I was sent a dare to write Tracey and the MCU Loki in one of those soulmate AU things, and this is the chaos that ensued.

No one knew where Loki vanished to after his failed attack on New York City.

I've got to go make dinner, but I'm just gonna offer this one to anyone who wants it.

[heartintact]

☆ muses !!

f.

audrey flynn. 23-26, bisexual, chemistry student (alisha boe fc). former prom queen, people take turns for her to break their heart, still learning how to let go.

blair irvine. 25 - 28, bisexual, podcast creator (rachel sennott fc). born to be the center of attention, always the most suspicious person in the room, will lie for fun.

camille cain. 24- 27 (centuries old in some verses), she/her, bisexual, vampire in some verses (anya taylor joy fc). pure evil, will manipulate her way into getting what she wants, devotion that corrupts.

chloe prescott. 22-26, bisexual, personal assistant for a magazine / camgirl (sabrina carpenter fc). the glossiest of lipsticks, christmas sweater’s apologist, making others blush like it’s a hobby. 

elaine (lainey) bardot. 23-25, she/her, bisexual, professional tennis player (ella purnell fc). obsessed with winning, nothing she ever does is accidental, feelings are a liability. 

gemma harmon. 23 - 26, she/her, bisexual, coffeehouse waitress | alt modern day princess (jaz sinclair fc). sees the good in everything and everyone, doesn’t care about other people’s expectations, it’s hard for her to feel like she belongs.

iris reyes. 21-23, bisexual, film student | assistant to a movie director (jenna ortega fc). tiny but mean, wicked sense of loyalty, likes to play dirty.

jasmine alcott. 25-28, she/her, bisexual, chef (laura harrier fc). needs approval the same way others need air, just wants to take care of people, has cried tasting meals at least a dozen times.

juno faulkner. 24 - 27, she/her, bisexual (maddie phillips fc). aspiring actress | former theatre kid. wishes she could love people less, always gives a genuine reply whenever someone asks how her day was, lights up scented candles when she’s feeling stressed.

maude seong. 23 - 26, she/her, lesbian (london thor fc). journalist | writer of a “how to” column. doesn’t know how to stay still, small tattoos from every country she’s visited, tries to come across as mysterious but will become best friends with every girl she meets at the nightclub's bathroom.

olivia ‘liv’ harrington. 24 - 26, bisexual, english lit graduate (daisy edgar jones fc). read all the classics before it was cool, loves to doodle, lingerie no one sees.

stella alvarado. 21 - 23, bisexual, office assistant | cheer captain. (clara galle fc). trying to find fun in the middle of her 9-to-5, usually the last one to leave but just because she’s not that productive, scribbled notes as a love language.

sylvia gilmore. 23-25, lesbian, college student (reneé rapp fc). will judge everyone who crosses her way, has a thing for older women, your favorite mean girl.

vera salazar. 23 - 25, bisexual, singer/songwriter (nicole wallace fc). keeps every love letter she’s ever received, stays up at night thinking about what-ifs, will do her makeup in a moving car and will make it look great.

m.

atlas dixon. 24 - 27, he/him, straight (asa germann fc). horror movie actor | aspiring director. dark circles under his eyes, can’t pretend to be interested when he’s not, gets into a lot of fights and loses most of them.

denver oakley. 26-30, he/him, straight, aspiring writer (logan lerman fc). dancing in the kitchen, getting in trouble because he’s always saying what he thinks, would die for you.

dylan bradshaw. 23-25, he/him, bisexual, english lit major | alt marketing assistant (mason gooding fc). a great shoulder to cry on but no one asks, will always offer if someone needs a place to stay, constantly misunderstood. 

graham munson. 25-29, he/him, bisexual, twitch video-game streamer (chris briney fc). deep down he means well but still manages to screw things up, the creator of one night stands, late night walks around the park. 

jonah mei. 26 - 29, he/him, bisexual, event promoter (derek luh fc). humor as a coping mechanism, won't tell anyone but he loves gardening, will make people fall in love with him just for sport.

logan brody. 26-29, he/him, bicurious, full-time trust fund asshole (dacre montgomery fc). million dollar smile, online shops when he’s bored, adrenaline and bad decisions. 

marcus powell. 40-44, he/him, straight, college teacher (ryan gosling fc). late nights out and very early mornings, the desperate need to be in control, thinks in metaphors. 

matthew novak. 30-33, he/him, straight, programmer (lucien laviscount fc). logical thinker, can’t admit when he’s wrong, ivy league. 

nathan craven. 27 - 31, he/him, bisexual, camp counselor (joe keery fc). the golden boy, afraid he peaked at high school, everyone's best friend.

shane ledger. 24-27, he/him, bicurious, will take literally any job if he needs to pay rent, will also hate every second of it (joseph quinn fc). guitar string scars on his hands, the town’s dealer, will-pull-at-your-pigtails-if-he-likes-you kind of guy.

steven warhol. 36-40, he/him, straight, politician | alt priest (andrew garfield fc). phone is always on less than 20%, following his family’s footsteps, charms his way through life.

fantasy muses (the olympians universe).

cassandra olson. she/her, bisexual. (sabrina carpenter fc/rain spencer fc). daughter of aphrodite. pomegranate juice, mischievousness personified, will put ribbons on everything.

conrad nye. he/him, bisexual. (drew starkey fc). son of poseidon. rebellious heart, will kill for you, rules don’t matter to him.

annika daulby. she/they, lesbian. (kaia geber fc). daughter of ares. shaking fists, sitting on the roof late at night, dark humor.

zion baxter. he/him, straight. (tom blyth fc). son of hermes. dealing with high expectations, trust issues, destined for greatness.

canon muses.

disclaimer: there's a preference to write them against other canon characters. while this is a work in progress, the following muses are available upon request:

marie moreau (gen v, jaz sinclair fc).

chad meeks-martin (scream, mason gooding fc).

tara carpenter (scream, jenna ortega fc).

tatum riley (scream, sydney sweeney fc).

kate carter (twisters, daisy edgar jones fc).

tyler owens (twisters, glen powell fc).

chrissy cunningham (stranger things, grace van dien fc).

carmen 'carmy' berzatto (the bear, jeremy allen white fc).

[obatmeraah]

20160203 Nic & Al

Eleven years. Yes, for the last eleven years I’ve been dealing with this kind of pitiful hollow in my heart – I would say body but I’m a big girl there’s no such thing my body is hollow. Well, probably not eleven. Maybe it’s ten, since the first year I didn’t know what the feeling was called.

It seemed like a long time ago, but I still can remember it in a flicker snap. I was just another ordinary teenage girl when I actually first met this boy. I wouldn’t say he was as ordinary as me, but he wasn’t the most popular either. We were in the same class when it happened.

It was the first period of the first day of our senior year when our teacher assigned us to work together in group projects for the rest of the semester. Well, both of us, one of my friends – Liz, and two of his friends. It wasn’t like I hate him, or his friends. I just hated – uh, how do I say this – noises? Yes, that’s the word. Or more like, I hated loud noises. And they were loud. I knew because I usually gave them a disgusted look every time I passed their table in the lunch hall. So yeah, I was sulking for the good two periods while Liz gave me a silent pity look – she was nice enough to not dislike them – and the three of them talked about what they were going to have for lunch – I know, are you fucking serious?

By the time the class ended, I immediately bolted out of the classroom, half-dragging Liz with me to our lockers. We were switching our books when those three little brats showed up in the hallway, walking towards us. For a split second, I thought they were going to talk to Liz since she was the nicer one. I mean, who would want to talk to an unfriendly sarcastic girl, right?

Oh wait, he would.

“Nicole, right?” He asked as he held his hand up for me to hold. On the corner of my eyes, I could see the other two approaching Liz. Of course.

I raised my eyebrows at him, but shook the warm hand nonetheless. I didn’t want to say anything and I was almost glad he understood my gesture by saying again, “I’m Alex. Those two brats talking to Elizabeth are Ralph and Brandon.”

“They call her Liz,” I said as I pulled out my hand from his firm grasp. He smiled, “Right, Liz. And what do they call you?”

“Nicole,” I answered flatly. He chuckled and I swore I could hear him mumbling of course before adding, “I’m gonna call you Nic.”

Oh no, don’t get me wrong. It wasn’t the beginning of any friendship – or any relationship at all.

I ended up having a major crush on Brandon while Alex became the big brother I never had, completed with his girlfriend Lauren who eventually became the big sister of mine. We argued a lot, with Lauren being our mediator. Ralph was the gay-looking friend I didn’t knew I needed, except he wasn’t gay. He loved spending time going out with us girls even though her girlfriend at the time didn’t like us much. He valued friendship above everything – seriously everything, one time I was sick at home and my parents were gone and he was visiting me even though it was his birthday.

But Brandon was another story. For the young Nicole, Brandon was everything a girl could dream of. Oh no, he wasn’t the quarterback of the football team or something like that. He was the captain of the basketball team though. And he was way smarter than me. He would teach me things without making me feel like an idiot. But I was right though, he was loud. Even though he wasn’t as arrogant as I thought he would be. He made all of us promise to watch his games and I always rolled my eyes at him saying it needed too much work, but I ended up sitting on the back row of the tribune with Liz and Ralph anyway, desperately hiding my feelings.

My high school crush didn’t end well, of course. Brandon ended up having a crush on a sophomore girl and Brandon was being Brandon, not willing to let it go until he got an answer from the girl – which was a yes.

Time passed and before we knew it, we were graduating. Liz and I went to different colleges – so did the others – and I honestly didn’t know if any of my mutual friends were going to my college out of the town. Well, not until when Ralph set me off at the train station and said, “You take care of yourself. And Alex, God knows he needs someone to take care of him.”

I deadpanned. “What do you mean?”

“Wait you didn’t know?” His eyes widened in amusement when I shook my head and he said, “Alex was on the waiting list, right? But yesterday they called him telling him that he was accepted.”

I should be happy hearing the news from Ralph, but I grumbled half-heartedly, “Well he didn’t tell me.”

Ralph laughed, knowing the banter between Alex and me wouldn’t stop even when we would live in the same town for another four years. He hugged me goodbye, and well, that, my friend, was the first page of the Nic-and-Al chapter, or you could say, the year where it all began.

Side-note: I came up with the nickname about a month after he constantly called me Nic despite how much I told him not to.

Al broke up with Lauren soon after he settled down in college, right after thanksgiving. Lauren claimed she couldn’t do a long distance relationship even though they had been together for like, years. Al didn’t even tell me until three months after the breakup, making me feel stupid because I should’ve known better.

When Al took steps to move on from Lauren by going out with his girl friends from his Finance class, I gradually found myself falling hard for him. Al was the sweetest human being who treated girls preciously – except me. He was so, so lovingly rude and he loved to cling on me due to his tiredness of classes when everyone wasn’t around – claiming that he was too manly to do that in front of his friends. And even though we were both single for the whole first three years of college, it just never happened between the two of us.

However, when senior year came, something happened – I still didn’t know what – and we completely separated. We didn’t talk and we didn’t even greet each other when we met on the campus hallway, just a lingering look coming from me. And as much as I hurt because of the sudden loss of contact, I didn’t dare to make a move. No, of course I didn’t. Instead I got myself a boyfriend and he didn’t know how hurt I felt when he gave me the unapproved look every time he saw me walking hand in hand with my boyfriend. He didn’t know how I really wanted to let go of my boyfriend’s hand and leave him if he’d have me. But no, I didn’t tell him any of those, I was a coward, still is. And I regretted it for every single day I lived until this day came.

The mourning day.

The mourning day sounded like I exaggerated things, which I probably did. But it is the day, one day, every year where I let myself drown in a pool of this awful feeling, remembering every bit of memories of Al that I still keep neatly in the back of my mind. Every single year, I let myself fall in love with young Al over and over again. Every single year, until now, which is – I hope – the last year of mourning for me. Because all these years I was always wondering how he was doing and stuff like that, but this year I’m lucky to have an answer when he contacted me this morning. Yes, he was doing great, he is. And Al is about to get married.

[roxsannel]

Wild Lavender: A Fated Love Fantasy Romance (Heart & Hand Series Book 1) by Nicole E. Kelleher.

Lady Aubrianne is a young lady who is no stranger to duty, but her upbringing was full of love and honour, so when she is married to a wealthy Lord, she is hoping for the same thing, however, he seems to be quite upright and polite in all of their interactions and when they are wed, however, on their travels to his home, there is no passion, unlike her only taste from when she was younger. Larkin is a young man who is the second son of a wealthy family and so has the freedom to do whatever he wishes, including playing games with the ladies within his families court, however, one encounter changes things for him and although he never saw the woman again and didn’t have chance to even giver his name, it is something he has never forgotten.

As soon as Lady Aubrianne enters her husbands keep, she has a feeling that something isn’t quite right, it is too quiet and there is nobody to welcome her, but she still does not let that bother her when she is shown to her room and asked to prepare for her husband to visit her once she has freshened up, but her experience is not one of a love filled marriage, it is not what she prepared herself for and nothing like her imaginations, but she has some support from her lady in waiting, even if it starts off as distant. As the time passes and a routine is established, Lady Aubrianne begins to befriend the servants, especially while her husband is away, which he frequently is and this is where she finds out what struck her when she arrived and she is determined to help those around her, so she uses her unconventional upbringing to her advantage, especially when her talents as a healer are needed and this continues, albeit in a more secretive manner when his lordship is around.

Larkin is up to his old tricks and competing with his best friend at the same time, but his mystery lady is always at the back of his mind, however, when he is given the chance to investigate a certain Lord Roger due to some suspicions of treason and misuse of his prosperity, the last thing he expects is to see his mystery women living with him as his wife, but not as surprised as Lady Aubrianne is to see him. As Larkin’s investigations continue, Lady Aubrianne is doing her own investigating as to what her husband has been doing on his trips, mainly so she can stop him before she is drawn even deeper into his plans, so when she is confronted by Larkin about her complicity, she agrees to help him, but only if he helps her in return. As the two become closer, can they work out what Lord Roger is doing and who is also complicit in his machinations, or will they find themselves in deep trouble and dangerous waters? This is an action packed fantasy adventure which spans countries and kingdoms to bring justice to those doing wrong with a romantic undertone which will leave you wanting more as you read along to its conclusion.

[daysofourlivesrecaps]

Thursday, 18 May 2023

The biggest news today is that I solved my screencapping issue! Now, going forward, I can actually show you clear pictures of the dumb shit I'm watching!

It's a fun game in our household to hear Amanda shout BITCH!! at the television whenever someone uses that word in Our Stories. And we're less than 10 seconds into this episode when she gets her first opportunity!

Belle just heard that Eric (her brother) is dating Sloan (the lawyer most of the town doesn't care for). So she confronts him thusly.

Said bitch (she's actually a lovely woman) was last seen at the hospital, discovering Nicole's badly-kept secret about being pregnant. Sloan absolutely despises Nicole (as any sensible person would) and confronts Nicole about the time she talked Jada into aborting Eric's baby. Nicole does what Nicole does: lies, deflects, avoids. But she somehow manages to convince Sloan to keep the pregnancy a secret, at least for now?

Back at the pub, Marlena walks in to enjoy her lunch break and, for the second time in a week, has to assert her mom-hood in this place. The kids agree to stop fighting, but Belle still makes it abundantly clear that she hates Sloan and even Marlena implies the same. Marlena, you're better than that. Also I hate that jacket.

Meanwhile, Abe and Paulina are meeting with the health inspector in hopes that Chanel's bakery can be reopened. Only the inspector is actually Colin, clearly wearing his dad's suit and doing the least convincing American accent since this guy.

His disguise lasts all of three segments before he just basically says *I fucking hate you and I wish I could hit you over the head with a rolling pin.* Then he actually does that to Abe.

Meanwhile, Talia continues carrying out Colin's gross "seduce someone you're not into, who is a gender you are also not into" plan. Chanel, like pretty much everyone on this show whom we watch get intimate, does a consent check at several points. This isn't funny or even particularly interesting. I just like it.

Talia insists she's okay with all of it, but then she does put the brakes on and I'm so glad because seriously, *this plotline squicks me the fuck right out.* Then she says she has a confession to make, and maybe she's just going to come clean about the whole thing? We don't get to know this information today, but my money's on "probably not; that wouldn't be nearly dramatic enough."

Back at the bakery, Paulina tends to her unconscious husband and reacts the way any sensible partner would: by asking the assailant, relatively calmly, why he did that. (?!?!?!)

Colin responds by rearing up for another rolling pinning. This guy's a regular Jack the Ripper, if Jack the Ripper attacked two people in their sixties in a bakery and was kind of a gross pervert.

[oetravia]

Every Brainia Scene Ever: 6x20 [12/12]

[lepusrufus]

Wrong victim

Pure comedic self indulgence because we all need a funny break before shit starts to really go down in To bargain for immortality. Set quite a few years after the game events, around 2025, and is pure ridiculousness so enjoy.

////

Her response to being unceremoniously shoved in the back seat of a car that looked like it's seen far better days was merely an annoyed grunt. It turned into an eye roll when the man that climbed in after her pulled everything out of her pockets. 

"Wouldn't want you calling anyone," he said with a toothy grin while waving her phone in front of her. 

"Trust me, that won't be necessary," she replied in a deadpan voice. It's not like she would call the police, she wanted them involved even less than her kidnappers probably did. As for other people she could reach out to, a phone call would be redundant really. "Do be careful with it, I'd hate to lose the photos of Daniela sleeping upside down." 

After maybe ten minutes of driving down the barely illuminated outskirts of the city, and having her pockets emptied, dagger included, the burly man driving pulled up inside a parking lot. It was large and overgrown with weeds and vines reclaiming spaces that had been left without human activity for who knows how long. The lamp posts were nothing more than useless concrete pillars as they provided no illumination, resulting in her pitiful captors having to use flashlights as they made their way into the dilapidated factory. 

Nicole sneered at the sight of collapsed walls and rusty metal walkways, reminding her of the one particular Lord she couldn't stand the sight of. She decided a distraction was needed from unpleasant memories. 

"Abandoned factory?" She whistled. "How many cliche movies have you guys watched?" 

She let out a chuckle when the man that had previously taken her phone shoved her ahead. Hopefully they wouldn't tape her mouth shut, there was so much fun to be had by mockery alone. 

It didn't take long before all three of them entered a dimly lit room, numerous candles placed all around, either on desks or candle supports nailed to the walls. The three more people inside were wearing long black robes and white masks covering their faces. Nicole had to laugh. 

"Oh so you're that kinda crazy." 

"Shut the fuck up and stay put," the man holding her hands behind her back said while pushing her into a chair. 

He then moved to a table and Nicole couldn't help but scowl at how unceremoniously her beloved dagger had been thrown on the wooden surface. Afterwards, he put on a mask not unlike the others, except with red streaks going down from the eye holes, and started to prepare something in the middle of the room. The others joined in on the task, all but the one man that had been put in charge of making sure Nicole stayed put. Because of course she could easily escape five people much bigger than her at any given moment. 

She decided to take a look around, at the various dusty books opened on pages she couldn't quite make out from where she was sitting. A few pages were laying around, either with diagrams or with scribbled notes. Had she really stumbled upon a cult? She couldn't wait to have a laugh about it with her family. 

"So," she started, craning her neck a little so she could see her captor's face. "Who you gonna sacrifice me to huh? I wanna know before you slice up my throat or whatever you're planning on." 

A confused and suspicious look was thrown her way, surely due to the complete nonchalance she spoke with about what would surely be her untimely death. "The… the devil," was his unsure reply. 

Nicole let out a small laugh. "Oh trust me, you do not want to meet her. Though devil is not quite the word," she continued despite a few other pairs of eyes landing on her. "Maybe a pissy fungal overlord with an unhealthy obsession for crows. Yes that's more like it," she finished with another chuckle. 

The man with a slightly different mask, who seemed to be their self appointed leader, got up from where he was nailing something to the floor and walked up to her in a few long strides. His eyes were barely visible, but anger was clearly distinguishable. 

He pulled out a knife, old, rusty and with a black worn out handle so typical of a kitchen utensil, and so incredibly ugly compared to the beautifully ornate daggers that decorated her home. She had to laugh when the dull blade got pressed to her throat. 

"Will you shut up for one minute?!" He raised his voice slightly, as much as someone who was doing something they didn't wish to be caught doing would dare to. It didn't deter her though. 

"Oh sweetie this is just what foreplay looks to me," she started with a grin that made her wish she had fangs like the better part of her relatives. "But please do me a favor and stay quiet, there's no fun in hunting if my darling finds you within five seconds due to you screeching like a broken squeaky toy." 

The man blinked for a few seconds, taken aback both by the words and by the apparent passivity towards having a knife at her throat. He stayed like that until one person that was working with some ropes behind interjected. 

"Of all the people you could've taken, how did you find this unhinged bitch?!" 

"I'll take that as a compliment," Nicole said, bending slightly to the side so the person that had spoken up would have a clear view of her sickly sweet smile. 

After that exchange, her captors seemed happy to move things along quicker, working in silence and begrudgingly ignoring any remarks she would throw their way, including an observation on the downright dreadful quality of the rope they had. Quality that she regrettably got to experience when her wrist and ankles got tied to the nails in the floor, having her lay down in a starfish position. It kind of reminded her of sprawling on the bed she shared with Cassandra simply to annoy the brunette. 

After loudly reciting something in latin, the leader bent down, same rusty knife in hand, and tipped her chin upwards to expose the neck. She did let out a wince when the blade sunk deep in her flesh and got dragged downward, towards her chest, leaving behind a choking sensation and the taste of copper in her mouth. The knife however only made it to the base of her neck, before the sound of metal crashing caught everyone's attention. 

"What the fuck," the man whispered, thankfully pulling the blade out so her skin had the time to begin stitching itself back together. She still had to turn her head around and spit some blood that made its way into her mouth. 

Before anyone else had a chance to speak up, the door was kicked open, one of the rusty hinges breaking completely, to reveal a rather angry Cassandra with her sickle in hand, ready for bloodshed. 

There were a few seconds of stunned silence before the blade was unceremoniously thrown into the first person's skull, spinning through the air for only a few meters before getting embedded into the bone with a sloshing sound. Anyone else trying to escape through the one door was met with a similar fate. One person had their knees kicked inwards before a knife held at the same belt as the sickle came down to slash their throat. Another had their head smashed to bits against the nearest wall in the blink of an eye. And last, the burly man that had driven and kept an eye on Nicole, had his heart ripped through the bottom of his ribcage when Cassandra shoved him against one of the tables, scattering the books and papers that were by then stained crimson. 

The remaining man, the leader, got grabbed by the shoulders and forcefully shoved into the same chair she had been sitting in not too long ago. 

"Stay put and I'll let you live," Cassandra spoke, all the cruelty polished over decades upon decades of sporting the title of the family's most sadistic coming through those few words. 

He gulped and nodded, eyes glossed over by the pure human terror now so unfamiliar to both of them. 

She then turned around, expression softening like a switch had been turned behind golden eyes. "Nicole," she started, barely an edge of concern and irritation at the sight of her wife's bloody skin. 

"Hi babe." The self satisfied grin almost had the brunette chuckling while she retrieved her sickle and Nicole's things. 

The weapon was used to cut her free, a grimace pulling the corners of her black lips downward at the same quality observation her wife had priorly made, no doubt. A hand was offered to Nicole to pull herself up, while the other presented the familiar dagger that was gifted to her so many years ago. 

"Will you do the honors love," Cassandra asked, with that beautifully sadistic smile. 

"Of course," came Nicole's reply as her hand wrapped around the leather covered handle. 

With some of the wretched ropes gathered from the ground, Cassandra made quick work of the man's hands and legs, securely tied to the chair and voice frantic. 

"You said you would let me live!" 

Cassandra laughed, a low ominous sound, while grabbing the mask and throwing it on the floor. She did love to see the terror in her victims' faces after all. 

"Unfortunately my wife made no such promises," she finished with a forceful pull of hair that kept his head in one place as she moved to the back of the chair. 

Nicole approached with the dagger already out of its holster and tapped the blade's point against her lips in thought for a few moments. She could simply slice his throat and be done with it, or stab him and leave him to bleed out, choking on his own blood. A hum made its way past her lips. No, no that would not do. 

She grabbed a fistful of the man's shirt, pulling it up almost to the neck. After a few mental measurements and approximations were made, the tip of the blade finally found its way into muscle, drawing thin trails of blood and pained screams. It took a good five minutes to carve all the intricate details she wanted to, the swirling patterns cutting cleanly through skin, courtesy of her wife keeping the blade sharp and in top condition. 

After she was content with the level of detail, and screams subsided to pathetic sobs, she took a step back and, with a hum, looked at Cassandra for a reaction. 

"Oh dearest," the brunette said, looking over the man's shoulder and down at the bloody cuts on his abdomen and chest, forming a crude yet not unfitting replica of the Dimitrescu crest. 

At the adoration that made its way past the cruelty in her wife's eyes, Nicole smiled and gingerly took a hold of her unoccupied hand, bringing it close to her lips and leaving a small kiss and a barely visible blood imprint on each knuckle. 

"I take it that you approve of my… design choice," she asked with another glance down at the jagged lines that formed their family's symbol. 

"It's wonderful," Cassandra replied, fangs shimmering slightly in the low light, exposed from the proud smile that tugged at her lips. 

A gorgeous smile, really, that made something swell inside Nicole's chest no matter how many times she saw it. Truth be told, her rendition of the crest was quite lacking, never having had the artistic skills to quite capture the intricate details that formed it. Nevertheless, if it brought a smile to her wife's lips, she was more than content with it. How unfortunate that it had to be ruined. 

She let out a sigh, still holding Cassandra's hand. "Too bad those pigs at the BSAA would quite disapprove of us leaving such things behind. Oh well," she shrugged, bringing the hand she was holding over to the man's abdomen. "Better it be ruined at your hands." 

The next second, claws dug deep into flesh, slicing the muscle and everything underneath all the way up to the throat. It left five deep gashes over the fine cuts of her dagger, but the satisfaction did not dwindle. On the contrary, when the gurgling sounds finally stopped and the body went limp, her smile was still there, turning into light laughter when Cassandra licked her fingers only to visibly cringe. 

"Say what you will about the dungeons, but at least we feed our livestock well," she spat, taking out a napkin from a pocket and wiping her fingers clean. "But with that disgusting thing out of the way, let me help you with that," she continued, grimace morphing into a sly smile when her eyes landed on Nicole's still bloody neck. 

She gave her no time to disagree, not that she would, before she pushed her backwards slightly into the edge of a table. Nicole wasted no time in lifting herself up on the wooden surface, bringing their faces just a tad closer to being on the same level. 

Cassandra dipped her head down, lips leaving teasing feather-like kisses on her jaw before lowering even further so she could drag her tongue up the length of her neck. It made a shiver run down Nicole's spine, that turned into an impatient tug of her wife's hair when the motion was repeated again and again, until no traces of blood could be seen on her neck, save for the crimson stains that made their way to the hem of her shirt. 

Their lips met in a hungry kiss, full of fangs and smeared lipstick and the taste of copper so familiar to the both of them, albeit for different reasons. When Nicole's hands went to the first buttons of Cassandra's blouse, their kiss was broken with a sly smirk. 

"This is such a dreadful place for such things, don't you think," the brunette said, all too amused by her wife's exasperated sigh. 

"You started it," Nicole complained, but before the words were fully out of her mouth, she was tugged off the table and on the way out, ready to get back home and have a laugh about the irony of her capture. They would have to pick up where they left off at a later time. 

[fruitcoops]

Hi, Eve

Rose here from yesterday, thank you very much for the Birthday message, I wasn't expecting you to read it let alone reply but I was looking for Coops kids Birthday fluff specifically. It doesn't matter if you don't have time however as I don't want to be a bother.

Hello Rose, and happy (belated) 20th birthday! Sorry for the wait--I really wanted to get this one right to celebrate such an important number. I hope your day was absolutely fantastic! SW credit goes to @lumosinlove, but Stella is an OC

Combined with asks for Sirius lightly making fun of Remus' accent and Remus yelling at a game show (@nazar4114)

“Medusa!” Stella shouted with all the force in her thirteen-year-old lungs. Remus leaned forward on the couch. “Medusa!”

The front door opened with a creak. “I’m h—”

“Yes!” they cheered in unison as Nicole answered correctly. Remus turned and gave Stella a double high-five, feeling his heart squeeze at the vivid joy on her round face. “Good guess.”

“I knew she was gonna get it,” Stella said with a pump of her fist as she turned back to the show and folded her legs underneath her.

“Gonna,” a familiar deep voice mimicked from the doorway. Paper bags rustled before footsteps stopped behind the couch; Remus tilted his chin up without sparing a glance, and Sirius pressed a laugh-laced kiss to his cheek before dropping one on Stella’s head as well. “You sound too much like your dad.”

“Love you, too,” Remus said wryly.

“I’ll take ‘Myths and Moths’ for 400, please.” Nicole’s voice snapped his attention back to the screen, and Stella narrowed her eyes.

“Daily Double!” the automated voice announced. Stella gasped; Remus bit his lower lip. “This mythical shield was wielded by Athena, and is sometimes said to be made of goat skin.”

“Aegis,” Stella whispered, then raised her voice. “It’s the Aegis, Nicole. You know this.”

“We know you do,” Remus said, scooting forward. “You just guessed whose head is on it.”

Nicole’s buzzer went off with two seconds to spare. “What is the Aegis?”

“Hell yeah!” Stella whooped.

Remus turned to her and raised his eyebrows. “Excuse you.”

“Sorry.”

“Are you two going to do this the whole afternoon?” Sirius asked from the kitchen, obviously amused. “We might need to get the neighbors some noise-cancelling headphones.”

Stella blew a dark lock of hair out of her eyes as she flopped her head back. “It’s almost final Jeopardy, papa. We have, like, ten minutes.”

Sirius blinked at her, then shook his head. “I swear you two share genes.”

“Ope, you caught me,” Remus said over the noise of the commercial break. “When I was 20 and had literally never left Wisconsin, I went and had a secret kid in Maine who looks terribly like you just so that someone would watch Jeopardy reruns with me thirteen years later. Oops.”

“It’s the truth,” Stella said with great gravity. “I remember.”

“Mon dieu,” Sirius muttered, though he couldn’t keep a smile down. He had never been able to hide around Stella, not once in the three years since they had adopted her. It was one of the things Remus loved most about him. “By the way, nobody under the age of fourteen is allowed in the kitchen for the next…hour. Ish.”

Stella squirmed around until she could rest her arms on the back of the couch. “What if I get thirsty?”

“I’m sure you can invoke birthday privileges and ask your dad to get something for you.”

“Birthday privileges?” Remus scoffed. “Nobody in this house has a birthday today. Yours was last month, and mine’s in March.”

“It’s my birthday,” Stella said.

“What? No, it’s not.”

“Yeah-huh.”

“Your birthday is in June.”

“It’s today.”

“Or maybe July?”

“It’s today, in December, when there’s snow,” she insisted, throwing herself back against the pillows. “Come on, dad, that’s not funny anymore.”

Remus raised his eyebrows. “Is somebody too old to find their poor old dad amusing now? Can you go back to being twelve so somebody will laugh at my jokes again? I know, I know, we're super lame compared to all your friends’ parents—”

“So lame,” Sirius agreed from the kitchen.

“—but I like to think we get one more year of pre-teen cuteness before the teen angst takes over.”

Stella sat up again with a groan. Looking at her, Remus saw a mix of himself and Sirius that had always baffled him, considering they had adopted her comparatively late in her life; beneath it was something uniquely Stella. Maybe it was her double-jointed elbows, or the board-straightness of her hair next to their curls, but there was no mistaking that she was her own person through and through. He loved that about her. “I’m not going to be a terrible teenager.”

Sirius poked his head around the edge of the kitchen—his nose was adorned with a smudge of flour. “Can I record that for future use?”

“Non.”

“Ooo, using the French,” Remus hissed. “That transformation is already beginning.”

“It’s not like you were bad teenagers, right?” She settled upside-down on the couch with her flamingo-patterned socks high in the air.

“I almost convinced Grandma to let me dye my hair blue, but otherwise I was pretty good.”

“I was terrible,” Sirius laughed. “I didn’t talk to anybody for a solid three years.”

Stella frowned. “How? I think I’d die if I did that.”

“He’s stubborn,” Remus stage-whispered.

“I heard that.”

Stella suppressed her laughter as best she could, but she was about as good at hiding her emotions around them as Sirius was. She didn’t really giggle—the amount her voice had deepened over the past three years always gave Remus whiplash—but her laugh had the same cadence as it did the first day they heard it. While Stella had been quiet at first, it only took love and time to bring her out of her shell. Within a year she settled into their lives like she was always meant to be there.

A thoughtful look crossed her face. “This is my last year before high school.”

“Does it feel different?”

“Not really.” She paused, then shrugged. “And a little. I don’t feel older. It just feels like there’s stuff I won’t get to do anymore.”

“And a lot more you will get to do.” Sirius left his dishtowel on the counter before joining them on Stella’s other side. “You can drive soon, you’ll get a longer curfew, you get more freedom…”

“I guess.”

“What are you going to miss?” Remus asked as she toyed with the hem of her shirt. It was a basic Lions FAN jersey; he was fairly sure she bought it to be ironic. That, and she only wore one of theirs if she was upset with the other, or if one needed a boost at a game.

“I dunno.” A few beats of silence passed. “My classmates. My team. It feels like everything’s going to turn upside down.”

“You can still keep in touch with your friends, and I bet your team won’t be too different,” Sirius said quietly. “Even if it does, that doesn’t mean you have to give all of them up. People change in different ways. They come and go on their own time.”

“There’s going to be a lot of upside-downs over the next couple years, kid.” Remus offered her a smile. “But you’re going to be just fine.”

“You two sound like such dads right now.”

“This might shock you, but that’s because we are.”

The corner of her mouth tugged up and she lolled her head to the side to look at Sirius. “Is the cake done?”

“Fifteen more minutes.”

“Will you watch final Jeopardy with us?”

“What’s the category?”

“US Presidents.”

Sirius exhaled through his nose, but nodded. She grinned and turned herself upright to snuggle against his arm. “You just enjoy watching me lose.”

---------------------------

“Alright, is everyone ready?” Sirius called from the kitchen.

“On three,” Remus said, raising his phone camera. “One, two, three!”

“Happy birthday to you,” over a dozen voices sang. They were off-tempo and so out of key the composer was probably spinning in his grave, but Stella’s clear joy didn’t waver for a millisecond even as her cheeks reddened. “Happy birthday to you! Happy birthday dear Stella, happy birthday to you!”

Finn, of course, dragged out the last note. So did Leo, Logan, Kasey, James, Lily, and Talker in varying degrees of awful harmony attempts. It was terrible, and beautiful. “Make a wish,” Sirius said softly as he set the cake down and stepped back. His eyes were the brightest quicksilver Remus had seen in many moons.

Stella closed her eyes, took a breath, and blew as hard as she could—the entire room erupted into cheers when all the candles went out. She was laughing and blushing at the same time when Remus turned the lights back on, though the humor won out in the end and she helped pass plates of cake to her many aunts and uncles. Like every year prior, Regulus managed to smear a bit of frosting on her chin, only to immediately deny it with great offense when she noticed. It was becoming a bit of a tradition—one that Remus never grew tired of.

I know what I would wish for, Remus thought as he looked around the table at their patchwork family. Celeste, Dumo, and his own parents had no doubt spoiled their first grandchild with ‘cusp of adulthood’ gifts, and Natalie and Lily would certainly steal her away after cake for some girl time. Finn and Logan would remain the fun uncles while Leo and Regulus kept their thrones as the cool uncles; Stella would interrogate Jules on the intricacies of high school for at least an hour before they destroyed everyone in a snowball fight. The world they built together had a place for everyone.

I would wish for this. This, for us, forever. It wasn’t a bad eternity to imagine.

[taylors-karma]

BB Rankings: My Favs Are Flopping Edition

Here’s my weekly ranking and thoughts on the houseguests, and boy am I just severely disappointed in so many people at this point. I’m actually sad because everytime I try to find people I like or think I can relate to they end up just sucking and idk what to do about it hhhhh

1. Taylor (Prev 1)- Idc how stressed out she may have made anyone, I’m still glad she’s HOH and she’s still a queen.

2. Turner (Prev 3)- He is quickly becoming my favorite. He’s hilarious, he hates Jasmine, he’s real and down to earth, and he’s playing a fine game in my opinion. The only one to directly question Kyle’s alliance idea and he gives zero fucks so....yeah he’s got me .

3. Joseph (Prev 4)- Moving up bc the others were letdowns. He and Taylor are super fun together and seeing them handcuffed with the accents has been very fun. I need him to stop playing the other side too much though because his game could be in jeopardy very soon.

4. Monte (Prev 5)- Moving up for the same reason as Joseph, but I’m starting to actually like and respect him. I have no idea what fucking happened week one but this Monte is so incredibly different than week one Monte lol. It took me a bit to start trusting him again after that, but I think I’m ready now. 

5. Brittany (Prev 2)- She is now sinking down with Michael because what the fuck girl....you’re playing into this shit with Kyle? Really? For what reason? She’s just a huge follower which is a red flag for me because not standing up for your morals is just pathetic and you can tell she really just wants to be liked and do I feel kinda bad? A little bit, but also.......idk I just wish she played her own damn game and stood up to whatever the fuck this race war bs is. 

6. Michael (Prev 6)- He stays here bc he’s still proving to not really care about what’s morally correct, and also it’s for an alliance with a showmance that sucks at the game? I don’t get it, and good for you for acknowledging that what’s happening is fucking wrong after production probably alluded to it but you’re gonna have to do a lot of work to get yourself back up on my list. I’m just super disappointed. 

7. Indy (Prev 10)- Hasn’t done much other than whine and complain like she usually does, but she’s leaving soon so I can tolerate it until then lmao. Still though, you can’t just say you don’t want to go to jury lol that’s not how the game works. 

8. Jasmine (Prev 8)- Like Indy, she hasn’t done much other than have a birthday and ask for a balloon to be put up. She’s annoying but hasn’t been hateful recently so I’m still just whatever with her. 

9. Alyssa (Prev 7)- Her game is just sad at this point. She would rather stay with the man who lasted 10 seconds with her than do anything game wise, and now that people actually want to work with her I’m starting to get pissed. I’m sick of people who don’t do shit making it far bc they’re young, white, pretty, and single. Alyssa needs to go.

10. Terrance (Prev 11)- Fuck Terrance. That is all. 

11. Kyle (Prev 9)- This guy sucks. He’s still pushing the all white alliance, he’s crazy over this woman who probably doesn’t even like him all that much, he betrayed his alliance for her, he keeps making racist remarks and comments, groups minorities together, stereotypes them, what else can he do? Never trust a white mormon boy from Utah who lives with his mommy and makes tiktoks. Jesus.

Now for my evicted houseguests, nothing changes other than me adding Daniel into the mix: 

1. Ameerah

2. Nicole

3. Daniel- I don’t think anything he has said has been genuine in anyway, and it’s giving me huge coward who knows he’s wrong but doesn’t wanna admit it yet vibes. Vague “I’m sorry” posts aren’t going to fix things homie. Do better. 

4. Pooch

5. Paloma Everyone else hasn’t done anything since last week to my knowledge, so they stay the same.