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aheckinmess · 10 months ago

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Cuddling 101: The Intricacies of Intimacy [Enji] (Angst)

[One-Shot 15/? in a collection of My Hero Academia one-shots posted regularly on Saturdays - and sometimes Sundays.)

Read on AO3.

Tags: Enji x OC, Endeavor x OC, Enji Todoroki, Endeavor, Angst with a Happy Ending, Original Female Character(s), Ichijiku Aoki, Ice Quirk, Teaching Fire Boy to Cuddle, Married for a Few Months, OC is an Emotional Bean, Enji is a Softie, And Nobody Can Convince Me Otherwise, And They've TRIED

Word Count: 1,963 words

Summary: Only a few months into their marriage, Ichijiku and Enji still have to learn to navigate each others’ unique love language. It results in a conversation about the worries each of them have.

Author's Note: In this prompt, Ichijiku has an ice quirk for the sake of this prompt.

Ichijiku (Tigress)

Morning light filters through a crack in the blackout curtains, nudging my eyelids open and reminding me of a beautiful sight: Enji Todoroki in bed beside me. When Enji's in bed, the worries of the day no longer crease his forehead or draw a scowl on his face. He is Enji...my Enji most fully in the morning.

For these scarce moments in time - in which I wake up before him - I allow myself a rare treat and carefully squirm against his chest, pulling his arm around my back. Cuddles do not come naturally to Enji as emotions disturb him about as much as a high-class villain.

I'm sure if I asked him he'd say emotions are villains.

Still, on lazy mornings such as this, I tuck myself into his cozy presence and pretend he’s cuddling on purpose. It certainly helps that his fingers rub over my back, tracing soft patterns into my skin. An added bonus? The way his fingers gently tug through my hair.

Wait.

I carefully open my eyes to find the sea and sky looking back at me.

"Good morning," He greets, kissing my forehead before he clambers out of bed.

And the tender moment flutters through my fingers like smoke. I even sit up and stretch my hand out, grasping for it, grasping for him. When the bathroom door closes, I figure I'll see if I can rope him into a morning cuddle when he gets out.

In the meantime, I fix the sheets up a bit so it'll look neat. I fix my pajamas and ruffle my hair a bit in the hopes that making it look messy will entice him to me. By the time the bathroom door opens again, I'm laying on my elbows with a pair of kitten eyes and reaching out to him.

"Come back?" I chirp softly.

"What do you need, Frosty Queen?" He chuckles, padding over to the bed and sitting at the edge.

I scoot up and hug his arm, leaning into his warmth and soaking it up like a plant photosynthesizing from the sun. It lasts for a few seconds before he nudges me with his arm.

"You needed something?" He repeats, confused.

"Yeah. Cuddles." I look up at him, resting my chin on his arm. "Just for a little bit?"

Silence permeates the room and he looks at the doorway.

"Can we eat breakfast first?" He asks just as a rumble sounds from his stomach. "I've never been great at the whole cuddling thing...and I'm hungry."

"Oh, um, yeah, sorry. I can make you some food." I quickly retreat, hopping out of bed and looking at my feet as I make my way down the hall.

"Hey," Enji catches my hand before I get too far and spins me against his front. He presses his lips to my forehead and then his eyes meet mine. "That wasn't meant as a denial. I really will try out the whole...cuddling thing." He doesn't sound happy about it, but I'm glad he clarifies that he's willing to try. "I just don't want to be hungry and end up ruining it. I know it's important to you."

"Physical touch is my love language." I explain.

"So you’ve said before," Enji yawns as he spontaneously carries me to the kitchen. I've always been self-conscious about my weight, but his strong muscles holding me up acts as a balm for this particular insecurity. "But we're intimate regularly. I often sit by you and give you kisses throughout the day. Doesn't that satisfy your need for physical touch?"

"It does." I admit, closing my eyes and leaning against him until he sets me down onto the cool tile. "But I have different types of physical touch I want to have met. And sometimes, different touches can mean different things."

"Like what?"

I file through the cabinets for breakfast ingredients as I contemplate how to explain. The fact that he ranks my emotional needs high enough to try something out of his comfort zone makes my heart grow fonder of him.

"It's like...cuddles are a different level of intimacy. Sex makes me feel loved, vulnerable, and physically attractive. Kisses make me feel protected and valued. But cuddles make me feel like I'm worth the effort." I shrug, humming as I work my way around the stove.

Enji quiets for a few moments with a hum, before his hands skirt around my waist from behind. The weight of his head on my shoulder relaxes me.

"What about this?" He asks.

"This feels similar to cuddles." I smile. "It makes me feel like you think I'm your one and only."

"You are my one and only. Don't you know that?"

Several quiet minutes go by. I flip the fish in the frying pan and stir the soup. I glance at the rice cooker to find only a few minutes left.

"Breakfast shouldn’t take too much longer."

"Ichan," He turns me around and puts a hand under my chin. It’s not often those cold, blue eyes look so soft and warm. "You do know you're my one and only, don't you?"

Once again, I’m quiet. When his hold tightens, he squeezes out a flood of tears in his wake.

“I guess…” I shrug out of his hold and grab plates and bowls to set up breakfast.

“You guess?” Even though he lets me go, he follows my every move. I feel a weight lifted from my shoulders as he pulls my hair out of my shirt and combs his fingers gently through the tangles. “Surely you’re more certain than just a guess? Why would you believe otherwise?”

An answer has to wait as I plate fish, miso, and then finish off with a bit of rice. I pull out some cups and splash some orange juice in both.

“You arranged for a quirk marriage because you wanted to make the perfect child to surpass All Might,” I begin bluntly. “You’ve been very good to me, I won’t pretend you haven’t. You pay for everything to keep us fed and splurge on me for my hobbies…you’ve even surprised me with flowers before and I’m forever in your debt for paying off what was left of my student loans.” I don’t look at him. I can’t. “But…I don’t know how to explain it well. I’m appreciative of all that, please don’t think I’m not. It’s just, I thrive off of physical touch and emotional warmth. Whenever you come home and I ask about work, you just shrug it off and say it’s fine. When I try to cuddle you in the mornings or before bed, it’s reduced to a quickie or you leave for the bathroom and I’m left alone. I just want…” I pause.

What do I want? Enji does all the right things. Does that mean I’m selfish for asking for more?

“I don’t want to lose you.” I choke out, not realizing I’ve said it until Enji tilts my chin up. Those blue eyes capture me with their concern. I force my eyes away. “I’m scared that once we start having babies you’ll forget all about me. I don’t want to be a means to an end for your heroic ambitions, Enchan. I want to feel like you love me because I’m me. Not because of what I can give you. I want you to feel like you can be vulnerable and let me carry whatever troubles you. I know you think you’re supposed to protect me, keep me safe, but I want to be able to carry your burden every now and then so you can rest when you need it.”

Large fingers pad away the liquid in the corners of my eyes. When I finally look back at him, he rests his forehead against mine. There’s no escape. Everything about him draws me in and acts as a salve to my woes even though he hasn’t spoken.

“Ichan,” He says. “I…” He inhales and stops, closing his mouth and sighing through his nose. His mouth opens and closes, then repeats the motion until his head slumps against my shoulder. “I wish I had something better to say, but all I can say is I’m sorry I’ve made you feel that way. I have no excuses.”

My fingers indulge in the coarse depths of his fiery hair. This…this is the kind of intimacy I want. To know every precious little thing about you. For a few moments, the world around us keeps moving, but we’re caught in time with each other.

Both of us against a raging world.

“When I first asked you about the quirk marriage, it was originally just for your quirk.” His fingers paint sweet pictures across my shoulders. With every stroke, my muscles melt under his touch. “Of course, the more I met up with you after your agreement, I hadn’t expected to enjoy your company so much. You’re so vibrant and passionate about the things you love, it’s intoxicating.” The familiar feeling of his lips on my neck pulls a gasp from my throat. “Your enthusiasm for life reminds me of why I became a pro.”

After some doting kisses, he lifts his head and cups my face.

“I’m sorry that I haven’t said it, but you’ve changed so much in my life for the better. When a villain attack delayed you at the grocery store last week? I was at my wit’s end. I wondered what I’d do if you didn’t come home. Surpassing All Might was forgotten because all I could think about was how much I’d miss seeing you, how much I’d miss waking up beside you, how much your presence brings this house to life.” Sorrow glistens in his eyes as he presses a soft, brief kiss on my lips. “Ichijiku Todoroki, even if my intentions were initially selfish…you changed my life for the better when you became a part of it. Never doubt that.”

Sincerity hangs from his every word, draping me in comfort and affection that soothes the worry buzzing in the background of my head these past couple months following our wedding.

I lead him back over to the table before breakfast gets cold while I process these deeper emotions. We eat in a more comfortable silence. When he takes my empty dishes over to the sink and sweeps me up in his arms, I squeal and hold on tight.

He steps over to the couch and lays down, getting comfy against the pillows before he holds me firm against his chest. As my head nestles into the crook of his neck, tension oozes out of my body and a smile sneaks onto my face. Just like earlier, his fingers trace patterns along my back. Unlike earlier, he smatters kisses all over the side of my face. I giggle as they tickle my cheek like little butterfly wings. He rumbles out a chuckle as I squirm and wrap my legs around his waist, before I feel his lips twitch and his fingers wriggle against my sides.

“Enji!” I shriek, cackling as I move away from him and he pulls me back to smother my other cheek in kisses. “You could have just asked me to turn!”

“Now, where’s the fun in that?”

With a huff, I try tickling his sides in retribution. Nothing. I try his neck. Still nothing. He smirks up at me until my fingers assault his stomach and then he twitches with a snort.

“Not there!” He laughs, pulling me under him while hovering over me.

He rests his forehead against mine with a small smile, something so rare that it warms me down to the tips of my toes.

“Enji?”

“Mm?”

“Thank you.”

“Anything for you, my queen.”

Want More Enji? Try: A Girl Worth Fighting For