#and Jimmy's most equal

[goofyahhcitrus]

I have an OC I'm scared to share to the Internet bc he's like funky and sorta weird

Courage isn't a lack of fear, it's persevering despite everything telling you not to

So here he is

Jimmy. Well, his name is Jimmy Mushrooms a.k.a. William Sunshine a.k.a. Joseph Capgras a.k.a. Cotard (a.k.a. Beans McSprout) but he goes by anything that's shorter. You could call him Jimmy, Sunshine, Joseph, Beans (for some reason), anything. Everyone calls him Jimmy though. He prefers Sunshine but nobody cares.

Silly info under cut. Prepare thyselves, this is gonna be a long ride.

I can't say everything about him all at once but I'll give some key info

Yes, he is heavily based on Will Wood and The Tapeworms and his design is inspired by the SELF-iSH album cover

He... he has five names. Ha. I'm the best.

He has a third eye that he covers with his hair he he thinks it's embarrassing. Out of all the things he could he embarrassed about...

He wears cervical headgear (hard to tell bc my artstyle is bogus but yes. That's headgear that goes behind his neck.

He is 14 years old and his birthday is August 23 😁

Uhm he may or may not be seven feet tall

As you can see he has four arms and funny face and stuff

He's on edge so much that he's always wincing and looking the the sides. He got so used to that face that his neutral face is just 😬. He also doesn't smile or frown with closed lips, always with teeth. He doesn't open his mouth often, even drinking things through his teeth, because he's embarrassed of the inside of his mouth. I- I don't know what to say anymore. Out of EVERYTHING about him, he doesn't like his eye and the fact that his mouth is green inside. Weirdo.

He isn't being raised with specific gender norms or anything so he's completely comfortable wearing makeup and putting ribbons in his hair and liking pink and all that stuff without making it one of his personality traits

He's really colorful but you can't see because my medium is pencil and paper! :3 He is predominantly blue but his patterns are all different colors

He never ever ever wears patterns, every clothing item he has is a solid color

I guess he has heterochromia because his right eye is lighter (like maybe brown or a dark blue?) and his left eye is black! and his third eye is yellow.

His right eye (and third eye :3c) has full range of emotion and stuff, but his left eye is just open or closed.

Also those are his patterns :3

His legs just have vertical black stripes with little swirlies on the knees. The only black or white things on his skin are his neck (b&w), his top right shoulder (also b&w), and his legs (black stripes on blue). also the rib-looking design on his well, ribs. They're white obvs

He doesn't accessorize much

He is cishet (or so he says. Not too sure on the het part).

He puts up a front of being a moody teenager who hates everything and everyone and would rather die than do anything ever but in reality he's a sweetie

He is brothers (by law, not biologically. We love adopting ppl) with another OC named Phoenix. The two do not get along. Phoenix is 40. Phoenix has beef with a child. The parental figure is not a slave to the constant march of time, don't worry. This again, does mean there's a like, 26 yr age gap between siblings. Eeyikes.

I have yapped too much, this is the end for now. I'll share more about all my OCs because I love them and love yapping :3c

[dykedvonte]

There is something to be said that Curly doesn’t get a captain’s uniform and just has like the regular issues crew outfit.

Is it a personal choice? Does the Pony Express actually have position specific uniforms? Either way, it puts him on the same level of the crew visually. He doesn’t stand out outside the merits of his title. I bet no one even really noticed.

Jimmy definitely did.

[teslapenguini]

the fact that shelby could have very easily flown out of or broke the time out jail and yet didn’t is hilarious to me. it is still interesting that even while as skulked as she is she still listens to katherine though

[wisteria-lodge]

In defense of T'Pau and her unusual grammar:

So in "Amok Time," (right before Spock goes into heat) we meet T'Pau, this grand high elder of Vulcan who is officiating Spock's wedding/fight to the death.

She has a very specific way of talking. Some examples:

"Thee names these outworlders friends. How does thee pledge their behavior?" "If thee wishes to depart, thee may leave now." "Are thee Vulcan or are thee human? "I grieve with thee."

If this is supposed to sound archaic and Shakespearean... then it's just completely wrong. "Thee" is not even slightly conjugated. If you're using thee/thou/thy correctly, that first sentence should be:

"Thou name'st these outworlders friends. How dost thou pledge?"

BUT my point is, I don't think this is supposed to read as "archaic" (also, if that were the case, wouldn't the universal translator just kinda auto-update the vocab?)

What is actually going on is Quaker Plain Speech.

Thee/Thou/Thy used to be English's set of informal pronouns, which you used for close friends and social inferiors. The Quakers came over to America in the 1600s, and were very into the idea of simplicity and equality for religious reasons. No titles, "Friend" as the default address, etc. They also artificially got rid of You/Your/Yours, English's *formal* pronouns, because they were what you used for talking to a social superior, and they were trying to get away from that sort of thing.

Skip forward like a hundred years. Language changes. Standard English drops Thee/Thou/Thy completely. The Quakers KEEP the pronouns, but the usage simplifies. Now they basically just have "Thee," and use it for everything, and don't conjugate the verbs around it in any special way. "In the eighteenth century, "thou hast" disappeared, along with the associated second-person verb forms, and the otherwise strange "thee is" became normal "plain speech."

Which is EXACTLY how T'Pau talks.

(I found this scene from The Philadelphia Story (1940) where Jimmy Stewart walks into a Quaker library, and the joke is that the librarian talks to him in Plain Speech - "What is thee wish?" and he (confused) responds in Shakespearean English - "Dost thou have a washroom?")

So I think that when Theodore Sturgeon wrote "Amok Time" in 1967, T'Pau's style of speaking was meant to communicate not necessarily "old-fashioned" but more "religious/ceremonial" and maybe "isolated." Especially since he's from New England, the right spot to run into Plain Speech in the wild.

In-universe, I think that (because it's a very important occasion) T'Pau is speaking a hyper-simplified, hyper-logical ceremonial Vulcan dialect, which the universal translator is rendering as the most stripped-down and "plain" English style of speaking possible.

[linkcharacter]

God I love your stuff. I feel like you’re one of the people who gets the fact that the line between responsibility - what you’re accountable for - and blame - especially taking on blame for other that isn’t yours - is a blurry one that makes Mouthwashing all the more interesting.

Thank you and that's a very nice observation there :)

Blame does not equal responsibility, in fact, misdirected blame can absolve a person of their faults. Curly specifically, if we look at Last one and then another DLC, implied to blame himself for having Jimmy join. He talks about it in a melancholic and regretful "looking back at my mistakes" way, there's no mention of him being angry or resentful at Jimmy, at most he's disappointed, but even then it's mostly directed at himself, not Jim.

Jimmy shifts and twists the blame and responsibility in a way to make himself feel like a better person, never admitting his actual faults, which are inexcusable. Curly wants to be a good person, however his sense of justice is misplaced and he feels responsible for everything, when in reality he should let the actual person at fault to take blame and accountability, yet he attaches it to himself. Curly does not take responsibility, he takes blame.

[luminousdryad]

smth smth Joel's win has long been anticipated since his madness arc in Last Life where he was fighting to live mainly for himself with a fluctuating alliance with Scar, then in Double Life he finally had a teammate who would stay with him–albeit not out of their own choice–which meant at least he had something to fight for. "The ship burns, everything burns!" This time, he went mad because they destroyed the symbol of his relationship–something he built for Etho to prove he's a worthy partner, only for it to burn down just as if breaking him and Etho apart was that easy...and yet, they died together, burning together like their ship, and if you think about it, Joel must've thought the ship burning meant it was as fragile as their forced alliance...but even with his doubts, his hesitation, Etho stayed with him. His rage came from his insecurity, not merely out of loneliness.

Then in Limited Life he finally had real allies, people he'd willingly give up his life for (whereas in Double Life, he had to stay alive for his partner), even intending to sacrifice himself just to break Jimmy's curse. Jimmy's death broke him, drove him to insanity.

In Secret Life, he found himself allied with the people who were shunned when they turned red, and no one thought they'd make it–but they fought together til the end, him and Bdubs together, with Pearl fighting to secure them the win. His allies knew loneliness and desperation, the way it haunted them even with a newfound family. They tolerated each other's madness that way, a visceral understanding of how it feels to lose your mind as you fight and fight for an uncertain future while your former allies seem to turn against you.

Then came Wild Life. Joel has always been wild, driven by rage and an inclination for chaos. But this time, finally seeing how his previous antagonism caused him isolation, he decides that this season is about family. He'll antagonize no one, not even Scott. He never knew how to cope with his natural madness, but now, he made peace with it–with the help of Gem, someone equally unhinged but in control of herself, to ground him and pacify his anger when needed.

This time his violent tendencies didn't bring about his downfall, because this time, he was finally at peace with himself. He wasn't the desperate hunter chasing down victims. His tactic was to avoid and evade, let them chase him down this time, waiting for the time to strike. Gem's death, unlike Jimmy's, gave him the push he needed to focus. And with Scott out of the way, he is now secure in himself, fighting steadily even if he panics internally.

Before, he played the part of the hunter only to fall prey. Now, in becoming the prey, he became the hunter.

Make it wild, the final instruction said. But Joel has always been wild. To be wild is to be passionate, turbulent and volatile, and he has always been those things. But wild can also mean, "to deviate from the intended or expected course." People expected him to lose it and cause his own downfall again. People expected his aggression and explosiveness. They didn't expect him to be, for once, stable.

Joel has always been full of irony. He drives people away from him all while craving a sense of belongingness. He's one of the most violent, yet also one of the most loving. Now, he won Wild Life by being perfectly in sync with himself.

He didn't need to be the villain to be wild. His peace amidst the chaos was wild enough...and even Grian encouraged it. Grian, who has watched from a close distance, once even too close, how desperate Joel was. He saw the growth. And he decided, this time, "You know you could win this, Joel. It's your turn."

And win it he did.

[mind-intheclouds342]

Do it for them - Co-Captain x Reader (Mouthwash)

Part 1 - Part 2

Anya: "I'm sorry (T/n), he can't eat any of that."

You had gone with Anya to deliver her rations and Curly's, but you received those words that only left you more worried.

Anya: "Nothing solid, barely liquids... He can't even swallow unless it's with help..."

"Well... That changes my plans... I'll try to bring him something he can consume."

You mentioned squeezing the packages you had brought tightly, almost making them break.

Before Anya returned to the nursery, you stopped her, holding her shirt, like a child tugging at their mother's clothes wanting her attention.

"You can tell him that I hope that... I hope he gets better soon so I can see him?"

Anya: "Sure..."

She nodded, giving you a small smile, and you let her go carefully so she could continue on her way.

You ran your hand through your hair and looked at the ceiling, trying to stop the tears from falling from your eyes.

You continued your route to give the rations to the others.

"I want all of you to be smart, I will give you daily rations, you can eat them as you wish, but I will not give you more than what you receive in a day, you can accumulate and store them if you wish, but I don't want anyone touching other people's food, I have rationed them fairly."

Jimmy: "So some will have more than others, shouldn't it be equal?"

"Swansea does maintenance work, he needs his body strong, Daisuke is on his first trip, he's just getting used to the mediocre food we have, Anya barely eats, and I just found out that my hus-... that Captain Curly can't even swallow. If I gave everyone equal parts, it wouldn't be fair. Do you have any other complaints?"

You extended his rations, Jimmy just huffed at your response and took his food without saying anything else.

Daisuke: "So, does that mean Swansea and I are the ones who are going to get more food?"

"Just one more pack than usual, I need everyone to stay sane. But as I said, you can do whatever you want, you can store it, you can share it, but once I hand it over to you, it's completely your decision what you want to do with it."

Swansea: "Can I ask how you rationed it? What are you basing that on?"

"Well... Considering that we have eight months of travel left, if Pony Express notices that we haven't returned on time, they will have to send rescue teams. I have divided the rations to last at least nine months... But it's the last plan I intend to resort to, waiting won't work for me."

Daisuke: "Will they be able to find us??"

"Since the failed missions they had while testing, they couldn't afford to lose more material, because usually theirs ships got lost. So they installed tracking chips, but they only activate after the delivery time." 

Jimmy: "So we'll just be stuck here until that happens."

"Jim. Stop, I refuse to wait so long for them to come for us, there must be a way and I'm going to find it."

Jimmy: "If there were any kind of emergency button, we would have found it by now, there's nothing to do but wait."

You looked at him seriously when he took a few steps towards you, standing in front of you, towering you, he was relatively taller than you, and you disliked the idea that he wanted to intimidate you.

Swansea: "Hey Jimmy, stop that, we need to-"

"No, no, it's fine Swansea" you kept looking that man in the eyes "He must still be shaken up from the crash, I'm not going to give into his rudes words and start insulting him or arguing with him. At least my conscience will be clear that at least I tried to help and didn't just wait."

You raised your chin when you said that, before turning around to leave, muttering under your breath, unable to believe the insolence of that man.

What bothered you the most was the fact that you had known him for a long time, Curly and he are good friends, but his attitude towards you makes you feel like you never got along with him.

You saved the rations that were supposed to be for Curly, and decided to reorganize everything again to distract yourself.

"Even without being present... you help a bit..."

You murmured while separating the portions, which became a bit larger due to Curly's inability to eat anything solid.

Daisuke: "Captain (T/n)..."

You looked up upon hearing that, quickly left the storage room, closing the door behind you.

"Daisuke? Do you need something?"

Daisuke: "I believe that if we are going to get out of here, I trust you!"

You couldn't help but smile at his words; you knew you had to inspire confidence in others during these difficult times, but hearing it directly from one of the crew members really made you happy, and even made you trust yourself. 

Daisuke: "I will help with whatever is necessary! Maybe I can even go into space this time!"

"Uh-hu, no way, you don't have the proper training, you're going to float out there and get devoured by intern-eating aliens."

Daisuke: "Eh-?! You don't have to be so mean about it!"

You put your hands on his shoulders, smiling at him. 

"You are going to help me much more in here than out there, I assure you, you have already done a lot for me."

Daisuke: "Really?"

You nodded, making the boy feel proud.

You wanted to protect them all.

[theminecraftbee]

"You let me think you were dead, you know."

Jimmy winces, but he doesn't turn around to look at Grian, or Cuteguy, or whatever he's going by right now. He considers just walking away. He considers a lot of things, but he doesn't expect he'll be able to, because--

"Don't walk away from me, Jimmy."

When Jimmy turns around, Grian's only half-dressed as Cuteguy, wearing no goggles, the paints he uses to disguise his wings slowly bleeding out, streaks of bold pink and black dripping down otherwise dull brown patterns. Jimmy takes a moment to stare. He's not quite sure which name he's supposed to be calling the man in front of him. On the one hand, he's not wearing the goggles, his dark eyes fully visible to the world. On the other hand, he's still wearing most of the clothes, and there's escrima sticks still hanging from his belt, and while the paint is fading it's still right there, hiding the patterns that make the wings identifiable as Grian.

Jimmy shifts uncomfortably. "I did," he says, finally.

"You let me think you were shot in the head in front of me," Cuteguy says.

"That, uh, did happen," Jimmy says. Cuteguy gestures at Jimmy. Jimmy swallows. "Look, uh, it's not like it was super fun for me to wake up in the morgue either."

"You could have said something!" Cuteguy says. "You could have--you could have just, just rung me up and, and said--"

"Sorry man, it turns out that you getting me killed got undone?" Jimmy says, equally quietly, and Grian reels back in the same way that Jimmy imagines he must have when he was shot, too.

"Timmy," Grian says.

"I mean, I don't actually really blame you that much at this point," Jimmy says. "I don't really--it's not exactly your fault someone else shot us. I'm--I mean, I'm not happy with--you call him Forgery. Not so happy he didn't know that--yeah. But it's still a little... I did die, you know."

"You should have said something," Cuteguy says.

"I'm still kinda dead," Jimmy says.

"Timmy, I--I thought you were dead. I thought I wasn't ever--I'm sorry," Grian says.

"Oh," Jimmy says, because he's not sure what else to say. He both did and didn't expect an apology. It is, after all, Grian; it is, after all, Grian.

"I'm sorry, I'm--I was just, just yelling at you again because I was scared, because, because you're one of my best friends, and, and you were dead, Timmy. You were dead."

Jimmy's not sure what to say, or which of the person in front of him said that. He's fairly certain it's Grian. He's also fairly certain the world is grey and blurry again, and he has to take deep breaths, digging his fingers into his palms and trying very hard to remember that it's not really Cuteguy's fault, or even really Forgery's; until then, neither of them had understood how dangerous it was, either.

But it's not them that faced the consequences, is it?

Joel says it's fair to be angry. It's fair to blame them. Jimmy doesn't know that it is.

"I was dead," agrees Jimmy.

"Not going to say anything else?" Grian asks.

"No," Jimmy says.

Grian stares, and then it is most certainly Cuteguy who pulls himself together, shakes his wings until his feathers are straighter, and puts on a face that betrays nothing of the heartbreak or confusion or hurt he's feeling. Jimmy does, absolutely, hate it.

"Actually, I just wish... I don't know, man. Never mind," Jimmy says.

(He hates the way he doesn't recognize his own best friend some days nearly as much as he hates the way he doesn't recognize himself.)

Cuteguy stares for a long moment.

"Yeah, me too," he says. "Do... do you wanna come get sushi at that one weird place you like? Where you have the weird rivalry with that one server?"

"He insists salmon is the best sushi fish, and is absolutely wrong," Jimmy says primly, and then he nods, and even Cuteguy can't help but betray his relief.

They walk side-by-side, together. It doesn't really matter who they are now.

[copilot-crashout]

hii!! >w< may i request anti-tulpar au mouthwashing characters x gender neutral reader hcs? (both sfw and/or nsfw hcs? honestly i don’t mind if you leave out the nsfw part, sfw hcs are just fine! ^^) i haven’t seen a lot of anti-tulpar content and i love the au smmmm! your work is also so good omgg >w<

Pairing: Anti!Tulpar crew x gn!reader

Content Warning: There are NSFW HCs here! It's my first time writing anything NSFW. Please keep that in mind!! ( -᷄ _ -᷅ ; ) Also, there are mentions of stalking Jimmy + blood kink for him. Misogynistic ideology on Curly's part.

[A/N]: I love anti!Tulpar so much... They're so interesting to me!! ˶ ˊ �� ˋ ˶ Since both of these asks were similar, I decided to combine them... If @livvizible wants Anti!Curly separately, please ask me again!! ᕦ(˵•̀ᴥ•́˵)ᕤ

In other news, if people want to talk to me more personally, I'd be happy to make another blog/give my other socials. Just let me know~!

[SFW] CAPTAIN CURLY:

-> He runs a tight ship, nothing gets past his eyes. Whatever orders he barks out, he expects to be followed. His ship is one set by law and order, and yet you seem to be the only exception. You're the only one he could consider his equal, after all.

-> This guy thrives off PDA. He'd be happy to make out with you in front of the rest of the crew, so long as they know who you belong to. He always keeps a hand around your waist, pulling you closer to him when he's focused on his work and when he wants to distract you. His pride still hits you, but rather than being worked like a dog, he drags you out of it, only to chuckle at how easy it was to distract you.

-> Speaking of work, he'd be happy to let you into the cockpit, so long as you finished your assigned tasks for the day. While he wouldn't normally be one for too much affection while piloting the ship, he'd be happy to let you sit in his lap while he worked. He rests his head on your shoulder as he stares at the screen before him, keeping an eye on where they are heading.

-> Please make sure he doesn't work himself to the bone. If you bring him some snacks or a drink and keep him company, he'll thrive off it more than he can say. He still yearns for aspects of domestic life, the peacefulness foreign to him, but a welcome unknown, nonetheless.

-> Loves to give gifts. This man has expensive taste, and he's sure to show that to you with the gifts he gets you. You're a reflection of him. If he wants to maintain his image, you need to be in top shape, too. That's the excuse he gives, at least, when instead of a brand new set of clothes, he settles for giving you a massage, his tough hands working the knots in your back, eyes drilling into you with a focused glare.

[NSFW] CAPTAIN CURLY:

-> He's a certified freak. You've probably had sex in most of the rooms. His dick throbs at the idea of someone catching you two while you fuck, as if it's the equivalent of marking you as his. Though most rounds are usually quickies, he doesn't have time for long, drawn-out nights. That, and it makes him feel too vulnerable to have soft, vanilla sex.

-> The Captain is known to smoke cigars. He's more than happy to extinguish them on your body. During work hours, it's a press onto the back of your hand, the heat burning the skin to leave a mark that would heal within a few days. During sex, he grins as he watches your body flinch at the sudden heat pressed onto your back, leaving a mark only he can see.

-> He's not one to ever bottom. His belief in masculinity makes him near-inflexible in the bedroom. Giving up control in any sense of the word is too effeminate for him even worse when it's voluntary. He's a man; He shouldn't be the one whimpering or begging for mercy. Instead, he fucks you raw. His favourite position is doggy style (trust). He's pulling your hair; forcing you into a sloppy kiss as he fucks you senseless.

-> Mirror sex with him is so attractive. He wants you to see the power he lords over you, how dishevelled you look in front of your superior. He can't help but admire how captivating you are, back arched and whining for more, a steady thrum of power coursing through his veins. He knows he's the only one to make you feel that good, and he certainly won't stop.

[SFW] JANITOR JIMMY:

-> He's surprised you even wanted to date someone like him. Jimmy can only see himself as the dirt beneath your shoe. He barely deserves to be seen, especially by you, but he's ecstatic when you give him the time of day. Jimmy's better described as your loyal worshipper rather than a lover.

-> Jimmy finds himself too excited at the prospect of standing next to you. He's giddy, grinning like a schoolgirl for having the luxury of breathing the same air as you. His devotion to you is unwavering.

-> He faces relentless bullying from the other crew members becoming the designated doormat of the ship. He's embarrassed about it. Not because of his treatment. No, no. His fears are about how they reflect on you, his sweet darling. Is he unsightly to you? He isn't a strong man, he'd understand if you treated him the same too. He deserved it.

-> You're too good for the ship. You shouldn't be working a blue-collar, dead-end job like this. How about you leave it all to him. You won't even have to lift a single pretty finger. Just acknowledge him, and he'll be yours forever. He'd work himself to the bone so long as you smiled at him.

-> If you asked for anything, he would do his best to fulfil it! Need a drink? He could prepare coffee better than that simple vending machine. He knows your taste. Tired? He'll be your loyal assistant, trailing you more like a lost puppy as he asks you to bark orders at him!

-> Jimmy uses his role to his advantage. He's just the janitor, so he needs to be in your room to clean in, silly! He'll leave small gifts in places only you or he would ever see. A small necklace in your cupboard drawer, notes professing their adoration on your mirror. He wants you to know how much you mean to him! If you notice a pencil missing here or a glove missing there, he can only give you a small pout and a promise to look out for it while he's cleaning.

-> He's red-faced and stuttering whenever you make any contact with him, eyes focused on anything but you. Jimmy could just faint then and there when you kissed his cheek for the first time. He barely initiated any contact at the beginning of your relationship, still believing it couldn't be true. Jimmy was sure it was just a dare from Anya. Eventually, he warms up to it, happy to hold you for as long as you'd like, the caveat being it would be in private rather than anything the others could see.

-> He memorises your schedule. That's not creepy, is it? If you see him more often while working, he gives you a bright grin, pressing a gentle kiss to your temple as he lets you get on with your work, lest you want Captain Curly to yell you into tears. Your relationship is quiet but finds itself weaved into the mundanity of the ship. Its presence is a lingering feeling of warmth rather than any outstanding proclamation of true love.

[NSFW] JANITOR JIMMY:

-> Worship, worship, worship. It goes both ways, honestly. He leaves small kisses across your body, misty-eyed as he thanks you, thanks whatever God there is that you somehow find worth in him. Even if you were using him, it would be okay. You see him. If you praised him, he'd break into tears, soft sobs as your gentle hands trail over his scar-littered body (some from little cuts on the job, others from "accidents" he experienced in his life). He's never felt so happy. It's as close to heaven as he'll ever get to.

-> He's a sucker for any position where he can see your face. He needs reassurance from you to see you enjoying your time together. It's soft and romantic, something he didn't think he'd ever be able to experience.

-> He's not loud in bed by any means (at least when he tops). The most you hear are soft whines while he ruts into you hard or a breathy moan when he cums. If he bottoms, it's a whole different story. He feels totally ashamed, but it's mixed in with such pleasure that his whole self is thrown off. He lets out loud moans, trying to silence himself with his own hand. If you pull his hand away, he squeezes his eyes shut, afraid to see your reaction when he's begging for more.

-> You are his top priority. Anything you want, he'll give you. Nothing is off the table for him, so long as it's what you want. Feel free to get as freaky as you want with him, he'll allow it (and at some point finds himself enjoying it, too).

-> As soft as he is, I think Jimmy has a pretty strong sadistic streak. Definitely has a blood kink, honestly. There's something utterly depraved, hauntingly infatuating in giving him the power to wound yourself and him, pressing them together to stare as the blood spills over, intertwining the very essence of yourselves. Unsanitary and could probably cause infections? Yeah. Is it hot? Absolutely.

-> Following this train of thought, he has it in him to snap and go rough. Once in a blue moon, when tensions are too high and you've been ignoring him for a moment too long, he'll grab your wrist harshly and pull you into an abandoned room, whispering how much he hates it when you ignore him. He'll find ways for you to keep your eyes on him, even if it means a rough fuck where anyone can walk in.

[SFW] ACTUARY DAISUKE:

-> He's very cat-like. Whenever he's free from work, he'll go out of his way to find you, only to start complaining at how much of a task it was to find you. Yet, he still stays. Watching as you work, waiting until you're finished so all your attention can be devoted to him.

-> You're co-workers first, and lovers second. He worked hard to get his job here and would rather be caught dead than be seen as 'unprofessional.' Daisuke initiating any kind of affection is left strictly behind closed doors. The same doesn't have to apply to you.

-> If you surprise him with any kind of affection in public, he'll grumble, yet won't push you off. His excuse? You'd only get more clingy if he denies you attention now. Just don't mention how he relaxed at your touch, face softening a fraction by your company or else he'll push you off and storm off to the opposite side of the ship.

-> Another character for gifts. An actuary gets paid well, and he's got the things he needs. Might as well spend it on you. He'd never mention the way his heart skips when he sees your face light up at his surprise gift - no matter how expensive it was.

-> He's still one to play games, though! He knows all the cheat codes and he's a total completionist - a perfectionist in every sense of the word. Daisuke would be more than happy to let you play but would be even more ecstatic if you watched him play in the privacy of his room.

[NSFW] ACTUARY DAISUKE:

-> He bottoms, most if not all the time. He's just so stressed. He works so hard. What's a better way to unwind than spending time with his beloved?

-> He lets out breathy moans whenever you suck him off. Daisuke isn't one for roughness, as much as he tries to say otherwise. He's not the type to be extremely loud. The most you hear is a quiet "fuck..." from him, or a small whine.

-> Fan of mutual masturbation. He wants to know everything about you. That, and he enjoys watching your eyes flicker from his face down to his hand stroking his own cock. If Daisuke is in a good mood, he might make small comments, most being rhetorical questions about how you ever felt good without him.

-> There are so few headcanons for him NSFW-wise as I don't think he has much of a libido, honestly. It's unlike Tulpar!Daisuke where it's through the roof. He's happy to accommodate your needs, otherwise it's not something he thinks about.

[SFW] MECHANIC ANYA:

-> She's prideful, and she's not afraid to show it. By extension, you should be just as confident. Anya is your biggest hype girl. No matter what you do on the ship, she's there with a wide grin, ruffling your hair with a compliment.

-> As the mechanic, she's strong. You'll find yourself off the ground at random points of the day, Anya throwing you over her shoulder and sauntering off to god knows where. She'll never ask for your attention, only pulling stunts like these because she deserves it, obviously.

-> She wants you to praise her, too. Anya shows off around you, talking to you about a difficult task she was able to solve, or how even the Captain had to call her over to sort something out in the cockpit. She preens whenever she hears you comment on a job well done, brushing it off with a "Well, it was simple."

-> The girl is your biggest defender. If Daisuke gets too snappy with you, or the Captain is ripping you a new one, Anya will intervene with no remorse. She's happy to send them an irritated glare, pushing you behind her as she complains about how they even have the time to complain in the first place.

-> Playful ribbing with her is a must. You won't have a day with Anya where she doesn't poke fun at you (lovingly). If you tease back, she makes it a competition. Curly's exasperated when he pulls you two out of the third fake fight of the week.

[NSFW] MECHANIC ANYA:

-> Her sole focus is on you. She knows she's great in bed and she'll prove it.

-> A fan of anything oral, especially as foreplay. Her grin only widens when you're on your third orgasm of the night, begging her to slow down when she hasn't even gotten to the main show yet. If you gave her oral, she's clinging to your hair, her other hand clutching the bedsheet with a knuckle-white grip.

-> She's a huge fan of contact. Her hands are trailing any part of you that's not covered, poking and petting to see your reaction. She gets a massive kick out of it if you're especially ticklish. Even during sex, she'll find a way to make you giggle.

-> Another one for exhibitionism, except worse. She's happy to use any toy on you, so long as she holds onto the remote. Anya stands in the kitchen, eyes focused on you trying to keep your composure.

-> On particularly stressful days, she'll let you top and God's is she loud. She can only flush red when you slap your own hand over her mouth, desperately whining and bucking her hips into whatever touch you give her, her usual pride shattered.

[SFW] CHEF SWANSEA:

-> The kindest man on the ship, by far. You're everything he could've dreamed of. Daisuke rolls his eyes whenever he sees you together, grumbling about the jobs you were both forgetting about.

-> He's an old soul, and by extension has more traditional ideas of romance. His favourite thing to do is to wake you up with breakfast in bed, watching you get accustomed to being back in the land of the living, setting a tray of food in front of you.

-> The domestic life is pure bliss for him. It's hard on a ship with such extreme characters, but the kitchen becomes a second home to both of you. The others don't seem to care much for it – bar Jimmy who has to clean it every so often – meaning you two can spend quiet time together.

-> He'll teach you his recipes! He's happily waltzing around the kitchen, keeping an eye on you (and the food) as he tells you the common mistakes people make when cooking.

-> Shockingly good at reading any mood. You won't even have to tell him you're feeling sad, as he's already lending you a hand wherever you need it.

[NSFW] CHEF SWANSEA:

-> Another lover boy. This time, it's even more romantic.

-> Sucker for plain, vanilla sex. I don't think he could do many rounds at once, either. He's not in his prime anymore (and feels quite bad about it). He loves you though, and tries his best to meet your needs. Expect lots of foreplay. Your pleasure comes before his own, time and time again.

-> Swansea is more than happy to give you oral for hours. He still wants you to feel satisfied, even with his less-than-stellar stamina. You're the best thing he's tasted, perhaps better than his cooking!

-> With that, I think he'd be a fan of overstimulating you. He's happy to know you feel good, and wants you to feel your best! Swansea is more than delighted to make you cum over and over again, even before having penetrative sex.

-> He's good with his hands, too. This old man was able to rack up a lot of experience, you know.

-> If you're someone with a high sex drive, he'll do his best to meet your needs. Don't mind the flush on his cheeks, he's just not used to it. Same with people who are into more intense kinks - he's happy to please but you might have to guide him.

-> However, harming you is a no-go for him. Degradation is something he's hesitant about and outright violent kinks are ones he wouldn't go so far in exploring.

[noirsdoll]

Could you please write Jimmy burning cigs on your tongue? its ok if not! nnghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

you’re soooo funny (this is my moot LMAO) um YES i can oh em gee!! cw for abuse, drugs, and shotgunning!

The sun beats down your neck, forms an ache in your temple.

You’re sitting shotgun in Jimmy’s rusty pickup. It’s a multi generational hand-me-down— the windows have cranks and the radio takes cassettes. You’ve told him before that he should pawn it off to a museum. He just snorts and flicks your forehead.

Coke is sprinkled along the dashboard, you’ve chased what’s left of it with your nose and a straw. Tipping your head back against the seat rest, you let the warm setting sun wash over your skin. You sigh out into the air, glancing over at Jimmy, who’s got a cigarette between his teeth and is flicking a lighter that’s equally as ancient as the car.

You hold out your hand to steal a drag from his cigarette and Jimmy just rolls his eyes. “I had to keep watch and make sure you didn’t fucking overdose. This one’s all mine.”

You scowl at him, your high messing with your brain and turning you cranky. “Don’t pretend that you care.”

“I care enough to not have the cops on our ass, babe.” Jimmy turns to looks at you, eyes sharp and glinting with malice. “Be grateful.”

You scoff, glancing out the window. There’s no one out for miles and you’re in a secluded parking lot. The most Jimmy would be watching out for would be pigeons.

The silence drags, the both of you remain too stubborn to ever apologize or forgive, always meeting an olive branch with a flame.

“Hey, look at me.”

You turn to him, confused. “What—?”

Jimmy leans over the center console and grips your chin, pulling your lips to his. You feel him exhale the sharp nicotine down your throat. As he pulls away, the crisp smoke wafts from both your lips. It stings your eyes, you feel hazy and breathless.

“Happy now?” Jimmy grins like he always does, when he’s so irrefutably right.

You nod, leaning in for another before he interrupts.

“I think I’m done with my cig,” he says, though the embers are still scarlet. “Open your mouth for me.”

You obey, opening your mouth. Are you gonna get another puff? It’s always something with him, something that sends a flurry of electricity down your spine. 

“Wider.”

Your tongue lolls out. You wonder if he’s gonna kiss you again. You want him to, hot smoke and crimson warmth coiling in your stomach. Jimmy’s so good at that— keeping you on the edge, pulling you closer and closer to a cliff you wouldn’t mind diving off of. It makes you forget just how much of an asshole he is.

And then he presses the blazing cigarette down on your tongue.

You yell, lurching away and you trying to move your jaw back, which is proven difficult with it being in his grip. There’s a circular welt budding flat on the centre of your tongue.

Jimmy tosses the stub on the dash, where he could’ve put it out just fine. Not taking his eyes off of you, he leans back in, sucking your tongue into his mouth and kissing you again. The whiplash makes you melt, his saliva washes over your fresh burn and it hurts. 

Pain flashes white-hot behind your eyes and Jimmy’s hand is already groping you before you can get a word out. Slender, spindly fingers taking what they want like they always do.

And that is the other high you search for.

[narxcisse]

★ — As screwed as me? (HCs)

Pairing: Jimmy x Equally Screwed-Up!GN!Reader

CW: Jimmy himself is a warning, technically Reader is a CW too, toxic relationship, manipulation, gaslight, emotional blackmail, possible violence and abusive behavior, co-dependency, trauma bonding, unhealthy coping mechanisms, possessiveness, isolation, spiraling together, reckless actions, jokes about trauma and morally questionable behaviors, brief implicit mention of what happened with Anya,mutual sabotage. Don't romanticize these atrocities irl

English isn't my native language

Fights are explosive, filled with yelling, manipulation, and even physical intimidation—but you both thrive on it. You don’t break up; just let the tension simmer until find some twisted way to make up.

You both make jokes about your trauma and chaotic tendencies, laughing at things that would horrify most people. It’s your way of coping, and you love how no one else “gets it.”

Both of you are hyper-critical of the world around u, often tearing apart societal norms and other people’s behavior while secretly being just as bad, if not worse.

The relationship is a constant battle for dominance. Jimmy loves feeling in control, but you knows how to flip the script and push his buttons when he gets too cocky.

Unintentionally (or intentionally) isolate each other from the outside world. Jimmy is possessive, and you're territorial, so you often justify cutting off friends or potential allies to keep the relationship intact.

While rarely admit vulnerability outright, there’s an unspoken understanding between you. You see through each other’s facades, and it’s both comforting and terrifying.

You love doing dangerous or impulsive things together, whether it’s vandalism, sneaking into restricted areas, or playing psychological games with unsuspecting people. It’s their version of “date night.”

When one of you is spiraling, the other doesn’t necessarily help— just spiral together. You feed off each other’s energy, creating a cycle of self-destruction that feels weirdly satisfying.

You don’t trust anyone but each other. Even when you hate each other, you’re both convinced no one else could possibly understand or handle you, only you can stand each other.

Despite everything, there are moments of genuine affection. Jimmy might pull you into his lap and mumble something about how you’re the only one who’s “real.” You in return might patch him up after a fight, calling him an idiot but staying close anyway.

You admire each other’s cleverness and cunning but are always trying to one-up each other. It’s like a toxic game of chess where no one ever wins.

You have dark, borderline cruel inside jokes about people you’ve manipulated or situations you’ve sabotaged. It’s your way of feeling superior and bonded.

(You probably have one about Anya and what Jimmy did to her.)

Neither of you could imagine life without the other, even though you know the relationship is unhealthy. You’re too far gone to let go.

Jimmy will gaslight you into thinking the fights are your fault, but he’ll also kiss your forehead afterward and promise you’re the only one who matters. You play the same game, leaving Jimmy guessing whether you love or loathe him.

If one of you tries to improve, the other will feel threatened and subconsciously (or deliberately) drags them back down.

No matter how much you hurt each other, you always come back. You’re addicted to the chaos, the drama, and the feeling of being seen—even if it’s through a cracked mirror.

You don’t need to say much to communicate. A raised eyebrow, a smirk, or a slight tilt of the head is enough to get your point across, especially when you’re plotting something together.

You tease each other mercilessly about your weaknesses or past mistakes, but if anyone else dares to do the same, you become a united front of pure wrath.

You’re the most “at home” when things are chaotic. Quiet, stable moments make you both uneasy, and one of you usually stirs up trouble to restore the normalcy of your dysfunction.

You’re not above using each other’s vulnerabilities to get what you want, but it’s almost like a game—you both know what’s happening and let it slide because you’d do the same thing in reverse.

Instead of normal couple activities, your “dates” involve things like watching the world burn (metaphorically or literally), staking out a place for a potential con, or picking apart other people’s relationships while drinking cheap whiskey or red bull.

You both laugh the hardest when things are falling apart. Whether it’s your lives or someone else’s, the absurdity of it all fuels your bond.

Jimmy gets irrationally jealous if you shows interest in someone else, even in passing. But instead of addressing it maturely, he’ll find subtle ways to remind you who you belong to. What do you do? Flirt back just to see how far you can push him.

Both of you have physical or emotional scars that sometimes compare, almost competitively. You act like they’re bragging, but deep down, it’s a weirdly vulnerable bonding moment.

Instead of saying “I love you,” you’ll say things like, “Don’t screw this up,” or “You’re lucky I tolerate you.” Yet, there’s a warmth in your tone that says everything.

You both live for the adrenaline rush—whether it’s Jimmy pulling off a risky scheme or you egging him on. When things calm down, you get restless and look for the next thrill.

You’re honest to the point of cruelty, especially when calling out each other’s flaws. Yet, secretly value that honesty because it’s proof you’re not being lied to (at least not about that).

Despite the toxic tendencies, you're fiercely protective of each other. Jimmy might be a manipulative mess, but if someone even looks at you the wrong way, he’ll make sure they regret it. And you’d burn the world for him, even if you’re the one who started the fire in the first place.

When one of you is down, the other doesn’t offer soft encouragement. Instead, it’s more like, “Get up. We’re not done yet,” or “Don’t let them win. That’s our job.”

You validate each other’s worst traits. Jimmy praises your ruthlessness, and you admire his cunning, even when it’s clearly harmful. It’s a vicious cycle that neither of u wants to break.

You know things about each other that no one else does—things so dark or personal that would horrify others. Instead of using it as leverage, you let it fester as a reminder of your unspoken loyalty.

The fights escalate quickly, with both of u knowing exactly where to hit to hurt the most. But after the dust settles, you act like nothing happened, as if the screaming matches are just part of the routine.

After a bad day, Jimmy might rest his head on your lap or chest while you absentmindedly play with his hair. Or just sit in silence together, sharing a cigarette, no words needed.

No matter how much you mess with each other, you’re in it for the long haul. If Jimmy is going down, you're going with him—and vice versa.

It’s not healthy, and you both know it. But in your twisted, screwed-up way, you "genuinely" care for each other. Your love might be sharp-edged and destructive, but it’s still love, at least from your point of view.

[tubbytarchia]

I’ve recently rewatched dl and I wanted to find out if you had any thoughts on Pearl and Scott’s dynamic.. (double life or general idm)

BOY DO I. SIT DOWN

I've talked lots about Scott before, of how he twists the narrative the most and treats most relationships more as transactional. I will now immediately follow that sentence up with dear god please don't assume I hate Scott he's so interesting and compelling PLEASE don't think I hate him I beg of you I LIKE HIM I don't think he's evil and a villain he's just a bit fucked up like everyone else PLEASE just. believe me

Me ^

Anyway now that that's out of the way. Scott I think has an innate need for connection but denies it in favor of weaving his own narrative that he is in control of, especially so in Third Life where to me, it feels like he sought out to find a tragic love story and he got exactly that, from his perspective anyway, what with the final sequence of him meeting Jimmy again in some imagined afterlife, the one part that was scripted and it shows. Love is a variable that he can't afford the risk of. I think the story with Jimmy that he weaved was more important to him than genuine affection. In Double Life he admits to having whittled Jimmy down to nothing in order to get something from him. But then along comes Last Life

In Last Life, whatever it was, something about Pearl really appealed to him if even subconsciously and he very genuinely cared about her imo. And that was a relationship that oddly enough started as purely transactional yet quickly developed into the most meaningful one I think Scott has had. Even when he faltered in returning Pearl's affection fully, Pearl didn't care and stood by him. Well exemplified by the time he kind of froze when Pearl was boogey killed by Lizzie, but Pearl didn't even think to hold his inaction against him. (Especially fun contrasted with Pearl accidentally breaking the rules in killing boogey Joel for killing Scott lol). ADDENDUM: I forgot that it was because of Scott's encouragement that Pearl ended up killing Joel, which could have been the first indication of Scott having it out for Joel, or he was just being petty (because he very much is, as are many of the others, he's just good at masking it). Nonetheless my point stands when contrasted with Scott freezing up when Pearl was killed by Lizzie whereas Pearl had defended Scott adamantly

But all of that was the variable that Scott sought to avoid, so in Double Life he immediately uses what he can as an excuse to ostracize Pearl, almost as if to punish her for the crime of. loving? And I'm not about to claim that Pearl is wholly innocent but I'd argue that was unwarranted. Cleo and Scott are a great dynamic in a vacuum but unfortunately Cleo is also quite terrible (but then who isn't. It's a death game, they all are. Sorry I have to keep making these remarks because otherwise I get labelled a hater) and unfortunately fuels all the worst traits in Scott while Scott very readily sticks to her. They remain an encouraging pillar to Scott, it's just that the things being encouraged are like. Their ritual to slice each other with axes at full force just to stick it to Martyn and Pearl. Pearl often gets compared to Scott as equally physically harmful but idk personally I don't think the snow bucket compares to start-of-every-session-near-death-axe-crit routine. That's again not to say that she's innocent

Upon Scott spreading completely unfounded claims about her being crazy and malicious, she starts to adopt those claims. What else is she to do to get by? She has been nice to most players and nearly none of them want her around because of rumors despite her causing harm on accident at worst. She comes close to finally finding friends in Jimmy (Tango as well but mostly Jimmy), but ruins her chances by briefly playing into Martyn's "prank" and giving him Jimmy's horn without realizing it's importance to Jimmy, after which Jimmy tells her that she's no longer welcome on the ranch. She's effectively lost everyone and it is 90% due to Scott, not due to her actually acting the way she's claimed to as she only starts to go down that path after repeated rejection (sure she let herself be physically hurt to get at Scott, but it wasn't because of malice or having lost her mind, her doing so was reasonable anyhow but got twisted into something it wasn't. It's still wrong on her part and I do think she goes at least a bit insane as Scarlet Pearl surfaces, but the point is that she wasn't that when Scott started painting her that way)

Even in the very end, Scott retains control. He retained control of not only his narrative but contributed to most others' as well, painting Pearl as the exact character he wanted her to be known as in every POV outside of her own. And as they stand face to face as the last two survivors, Scott denies her any chance to change things, taking his own life instead whilst painting himself as noble in doing so

Scott is incredibly self-sacrificial but only when he gets something out of it, and because it allows him yet more control. He wants to be able to control when he dies, and he also gets to turn it into utmost grandiose statements of nobleness when he does, which then changes others' perception of him accordingly and directly or indirectly allows Scott to get something in exchange. His suicide in DL is no different, it was for him, not for Pearl

In Secret Life Scott also instils the idea of Pearl being untrustworthy in Gem

Wild Life. grrrr. Wild Life.............clenches fist. Pearl's personal hell

I think you can infer I was. scared to say the least about Pearl upon seeing her alliance in Wild Life. In the end though I ended up just being immensely sad and disappointed. Just about nothing worked out for Pearl, only for her trauma to be mocked repeatedly by Scott and Cleo

Pearl imo shows so many signs of regression, and she holds onto Impulse as the one member of her team that isn't actively taunting her, making it a goal for herself to see Impulse win, and it is that: for her, for anything to go her way, not so much for Impulse as much as she does genuinely care for him. She really doesn't spend that much time with him, she just needs a goal to work towards for her own sake. Pearl being unstable, untrustworthy and especially pathetic are all things that continue to get enforced within the alliance, where she's often spoken to like a ticking time bomb and the team's destructiveness gets relegated to her specifically. She recognizes not feeling good about it but she doesn't recognize everything that's at play in the social dynamics of their alliance or the extent of it

She becomes scared of people becoming resentful of her were she to make mistakes all the while Scott and Cleo start enabling her worst tendencies, aka Scarlet Pearl. They don't do this a large degree but they do make an explicit point of it, or at least Cleo does. Cleo is also however, if even vaguely, trying to mend the relationship between her and Pearl, where they occasionally encourage and defend her although it's not to a significant enough degree for Pearl to really realize. After Gem's death, Cleo is also there to help although Pearl is too distraught to appreciate it

While Gem's largely the catalyst for the "pathetic" notion that Pearl adopts to her detriment over the course of Wild Life, it only affects Pearl as strongly as it does due to her having gone through what she has, and because she's in a largely unloving alliance that fuels and reminds her of her wrongdoing. Just compare her mental state here to the one in Secret Life with the Mounders. Although it does have importance to her because she seeks reconciliation, she isn't allowed to forget about Double Life, she's not allowed to heal and grow around the grief of what's happened to her

And the final two notable incidents in her and Scott's relationship are 1. Her being made to feel like she needs to kill Scott, which she doesn't and ends up picking her own method of killing him to retain any semblance of choice, and 2. best summarized by my friend's Pearl POV analysis: "Scott is wearing my clothes. instead of villainizing me, our “reconciliation” has encouraged him to embrace the qualities he thinks I represent. he matches me, and we don’t talk about our past"

I state again that I like Scott, I like Cleo, I don't think they're evil or villains, at the very least in no cut-and-dry way. They're flawed and compelling and although I feel sad for Pearl and see Scott as largely at fault for what's happened to her, I care about Scott too and he's easily in the top 5 of most intricate Life characters to me that I enjoy dissecting

You know like. enjoying any character in any other fandom that is morally reprehensible in any way. I don't know why that's such a wild concept in traffic but sigh. I have to disclaim this unfortunately

[definitelynotshouting]

saw this post assigning devastating quotes to each life series members, got incredibly inspired, and decided to try my own hand at it but specifically with snippets of the poetry ive personally written throughout the years :] thoughts and musings on several of my choices will be under the cut if you're interested in that sorta thing!! Enjoy<3

Bdubs: "it's all so blue. so blue, so wet, so cold, but you've got a fire in your heart like a hundred rockets. you aren't hungry, but you could eat the dead, / cut your teeth on a rotting corpse."

BigB: "SOMETHING HAS FRACTURED HERE AND IT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME AGAIN. EACH DAY YOU WILL CHASE THE FAULT LINES LOOKING FOR A BRIDGE ONLY TO FIND IT ALREADY BURNT."

Etho: "I am above myself, hovering, pressing pale fingers into the dull bruise of yesterday to test its lingering ache. Is this all that's left?"

Gem: "what are gods if not the mothers of our own inventions. we are the avatars of violence and love and hope and fear in equal measure."

Scar: "I think I want to live. I know one day, I must die. In the cosmic wheel of fortune, I am a gamble in the making, gentle breath washing a little luck over the dice."

Grian: "Within the shape of my clawed fingers are knives: scrabbled dirt; scarlet lines; the escape route / Between a fence and / Tall grasses."

Impulse: "Life's bitter, stilted offering / Is that every person we meet / Will one day become a perfect stranger."

Martyn: "Dangerous beasts must earn / Their survival. / You are no different than a knife / In the hands of murderers."

Lizzie: "When I think of the egg-tooth, / I revel in purple glass; the lightning; the shatter; the knife-slip between / Death, and a wake."

Mumbo: "This is your life now, / Found in the cracks and crevices, scraps pried between laughter and reckless abandon."

Pearl: "I am begging, raw in the face of absolution— do not hate me. Please, keep watering me in your garden, / Despite how closely my heart resembles a weed."

Ren: "— and sometimes hearts are forged in violence /— and sometimes blood cannot form scabs / — and sometimes wounds carry half-hearted sutures / — and we are all but living fragments / —"

Skizz: "Just a little longer. Please. / There is light pooling at the bottom of the flower vase."

Scott: "I can only hope that with the rising of the dawn / I will pass through darkness and return to day, / Where I am a solar ray blinding— teeth and claws sharpened, the stretch of my skin carrying gold / Above the dull, dug out earth"

Joel: "Tamed by nothing, no one, I lose myself to the shattered chains; / Yes, there is a loss."

Jimmy: "for year after bloody year, i clung to life with aching fingernails, grasped at every straw, took every scrap of double-barrelled hope and shot myself in the chest with it."

Tango: "every time you claw yourself from the ashes you insist it will never happen again. every time you reach the breaking point, it happens a little bit faster."

Cleo: "It's about catharsis, not letting go. / Because a part of me wants to hold this, / A swelling hurt deeper than tides, / Hotter than stars. The kind of rage / A mother might raise against her own child."

I dont share my poetry on here very often, partially because it tends to end up coming from a very personal part of me, but since this was actually a lot of fun maybe i'll start posting my poems more often here :]] i think what i found most interesting about this exercise was that as i scrolled my notes app and cherry-picked quotes for each character, it felt like the ones i chose naturally became part of a larger conversation-- as if the characters were speaking to me through my own words about their lowest points, about their ultimate views on the games filtered through the lens of a red life.

It felt enlightening; i dont often feel like im speaking to characters or being informed about their plots/preferences, etc. the way many other writers discuss in workshops or casually online, but by the end of this exercise i felt like i just... understood them, better than i had before. There's something inexplicable about reading your own words and consciously finding ways to apply them in a way that encapsulates them down to a character's core that just... truly highlights the specific qualities that resonate most with you. And i think stumbling upon that organically was a very vivid and incredible experience for me

Admittedly, i did struggle on Scott, Ren, and Etho a lot-- im not as familiar with them as characters, and for a while i couldn't quite pinpoint what exact themes they tend to carry with them throughout all their life seasons. But when i started to really look at everyone's quotes as a whole, i realized they felt like a story, like the response to a question-- as if i was being TOLD what they felt and how, and that that was how i needed to frame the rest of my selections. So Scott's ended up being about control, and the desperate hanging onto of it; Ren's is about the acceptance and bitterness of what he cannot change; Etho's is a quiet resignation rounded out with softer disbelief. The more i looked at these choices, the more they felt correct to me-- and while i still think i have a ways to go before i fully understand these characters, i feel like this has helped me a lot with that ultimate goal :]

Of all these poetry snippets, though, i think Scar, Skizz, and Joel's are my absolute favorites. Skizz's poem is actually the whole poem in its entirety (as is Cleo's, funnily enough)-- it's a short, very simple poem that is incredibly close to my heart for many reasons, but the main one being because it was written at one of my lowest points a few years back. Its about clawing for hope when there isnt any, and finding even the smallest of beautiful things to hold onto, and begging yourself to keep holding onto that at any cost. The pure, clean beauty of watching light refract through a vase of flowers, and knowing that sometimes, that's all there is to live for-- I felt like that really spoke to Skizz's life series character as a whole: finding the beauty in every tiny thing, no matter how small, and scrabbling for more time to appreciate it.

Scar's snippet comes from a much longer poem of mine about the difficulty of reconciling the idea of a future when you havent had to think of one before (incidentally, Etho's snippet comes from this poem as well). I think out of everyone, this quote encapsulates him the best; i like how it subtly references that inner well of vivacity he draws from that many other characters struggle to find, and how that in turn ties in with the lore that he never died a final death during Secret Life. And i love how it simultaneously manages to encompass the way he utilizes the social game in each season as well-- Scar's an incredibly intelligent social player, and i think the imagery of a gambler breathing their luck over the dice as they cast it, and as he casts himself at others for alliances and enemies, truly does fit him.

As for Joel, the full poem his quote comes from is one im particularly proud of, especially for its final lines. I think, quite honestly, i can let this poem stand for itself in its entirety:

They say transformation is letting the light in, But in my mind it's a violence. A coarseness, a fracturing, the bloody vowels between a scream And a howl. How do you transform without killing yourself? When I am a lion, my hands and feet Grow claws; my teeth sharpen. No longer do I spark— I ignite. Tamed by nothing, no one, I lose myself to the shattered chains; Yes, there is a loss. To transform is to leave behind a body And eat its still-breathing corpse.

I find myself referencing this poem a lot even in my daily life-- as longterm readers of mine already know, one of my favorite themes is that of replacing yourself and permanent transformation. This poem really is just about how changing, in any shape or form, alters you forever; how you can look back on yourself from even just a few months ago and feel like a completely different person despite remaining the same. Connecting it with Joel's character, and how he acts during his red lives in each season, was a natural and intuitive progression once i really sat and thought about it.

Alright thats enough yapping from me 😂😂😂 im not used to writing meta nor delving into my poetry on here, so this was a bit of an experimental post for me. If youve read up until this point, i both applaud your patience and really hope you enjoyed this window into my personal works and thoughts on them :]] cheers, and thanks to @/chipperchemical the op of the original post for inspiring me!!!❤️❤️❤️

[raylaismad]

“Why did you take Him from me,” said Life and Death.

Chaos didn’t look and the other, “I didn’t take anyone from you.”

“You were supposed to die first. You’re supposed to be The Canary. You know that.”

Chaos sighed, “You know that’s not how that works,” the being spread its burning wings, “I was never going to stay a consistent pattern forever, that’s not how I work, You know that.”

Life and Death whipped Its head around, “It wasn’t supposed to be Him. You know how much He means to me.”

“You know about Your curse. If You really wanted Him alive, You would have stayed away.”

Life and Death glared at Its equal, “You don’t get to speak about curses,” It’s pitch black wings puffed out, “and You don’t get to speak of staying away from people You know You’ll only hurt.”

Chaos sighed, “This is just like You isn’t it,”

Life and Death tensed, “You know nothing about me.”

Chaos said, “I know that You always blame others for the misfortune You cause. I know You are over emotional. I know You hate not to get Your way,” Chaos rolled Its eyes, “but most of all I know that You hate to see me win.”

“I do not!”

“But You do! I know You do because You are trying to blame me for His death when I did nothing!”

“You laughed at His grave!”

“You laughed at Mine.”

“…”

“Do You hate that I survived? Do You hate that I tried and I managed to almost make it? Was that why You killed Me? Is that why You killed Her?”

“Jimmy..”

“Shes a better sibling than You ever were.”

“…”

“All I did was survive.”

“…”

“You were always the lucky one.”

“I’m sorry.”

“Leave Me.”

—————————

Zero clue what possessed me to write this anyways @solidaritygaming-fanblog, @grian-fanblog, @moss-moths-eyes-and-whimsy cry lmao

[ceratedfish24]

Your takes on c!Scott and flower husbands have honestly been so refreshing that its reignited my old Hot Takes on c!Jimmy bc I detest the way people characterize him.

I feel like so many people portray Jimmy as this dejected downtrodden victim of bullying, which feeds into a narrative that Scott was cruel and abusive and awful or whatever, and tends to act like Jimmy doesn't have any agency ever. But IN REALITY??? Jimmy is not downtrodden and dejected and sad!!!!! In my opinion, Jimmy's defining character trait is his unshakable TENACITY! Ppl never want to admit that Jimmy is a little shit! That he acts out of spite, that his friends' teasing only tends to motivate him!! He *thrives* in environments that challenge him! AND to be so for real, he is a grown man with agency and decision-making skills and I'm tired of people acting like he isn't.

In general I feel like people just have the wrong outlook on him as a character. Maybe they've just collectively misunderstood him, or a Helpless Miserable Victim is easier to write about in fic, or they just want to project their own bullying-related trauma onto him or whatever. (People do similar things to Scar when talking about desert duo, which I understand even less). IDK. These are just my thoughtssssss sorry for rambling :P

No because you’re literally so real for this. Jimmy is SUCH a little shit. His response to Joel being mad at Jimmy for trying to kill him was to SHAKE HIS ASS AT JOEL. He taunted Joel because Jimmy successfully used Lizzie to bait Joel out. He tried to guilt trip Scott into giving him time. These aren’t negative qualities. This is a guy being silly with his friends. Embrace them when writing c!Jimmy. These are wonderful and realistic qualities.

Jimmy’s tenacity is so remarkable. He gets knocked down and all of his friends tease him about it, and he stands right back up with pep in his step. A lot of people treat Pearl the same way. Like, guys, these people are adults who make their own choices, and, often times, people who are given free will are not going to make the responsible choice most of the time when there are no real world consequences to their actions other than maybe “I might not get to be in the finale of this Minecraft series”.

There is SO much favoritism in the Life Series. Jimmy and Pearl are always reduced to their greatest tragedies, while Scott and Cleo are reduced to their most selfish moments, even though everyone else is equally selfish because IT IS A DEATH GAME. IT IS A COMPETITION. THAT IS THE POINT.

A lot of Jimmy’s deaths tend to be his own doing. Whether he unnecessarily made an enemy or just wasn’t being careful, a lot of Jimmy’s deaths are his fault, and that’s fine. He likes to play into bits. He’s not that serious about winning as opposed to making fun content. Pearl has made her fair share of mistakes and enemies, and that adds plot and drama to her content. That’s how she plays it, and it’s fine! Don’t infantilize them for dealing with the consequences of their actions just like everybody else!

Scott was widowed, and he had to watch his allies die before he did for seasons. Nobody ever comforts him about it. Nobody says “oh this man is so sad he’s just doing his best but he can’t keep his friends alive and it’s eating him up and everyone should baby him”.

Nobody even calls Joel toxic for constantly targeting Scott, but somehow Scott is toxic for teasing Jimmy now and then? (Which is not to say that Joel is toxic. He just finds it fun to target his good friend and knows where Scott’s limits are. It’s actually a sign of how close they are in real life). Nobody calls Etho and Bdubs toxic for being so mean to each other. Nobody calls Impulse manipulative when his whole thing in Third Life was betraying people. Nobody says Ren is controlling for taking the lead in Dogwarts or calling the Renwood Mound the Ren Mound. Scar is a liar and a scammer and no one thinks less of him for it.

Do you wanna know why? Because they’re friends having fun. Scott and Scott’s character should be treated with that same respect given to everyone else. Also, people need to keep in mind that Scott is not actively playing a character. Scott is just playing the game the way that cc!Scott wants to play the game, so any in depth analysis of Scott’s “character”? That’s an over analysis of cc!Scott in a competitive environment, and that man is literally on this site, people. He knows about Gaslight, Gatekeep, Girlboss, Girldad. I’ve seen him reply to analysis posts on why Scott is manipulative. He’s literally just a guy playing a game for fun.

Imagine if someone accused you of playing an evil and selfish character because you asked your friend to give you the monopoly money they owe you. Or, worse imagine if someone accused you of playing a manipulative character because you let your friend land on your monopoly property without paying you????? Because you love your friend??????? Like, excuse me????????

Thank you for the ask!!!!!! 🩵🩵🩵 It’s always flattering when someone calls my posts “refreshing”💕💕💕(also I see you all the time and I love seeing your additions to my posts💖)

[stari-hun]

I get having an issue with a lot of “good” ending AUs in Mouthwashing ending with murdering Jimmy or something, but I think the issue should be more with how heavily needed he is for the plot. Like as a fictional story he’s still very important to the message that Wrong Organ wants to tell and the story they wanna show. The point of having no autonomy as a player is to force you to sit down and listen because let’s be real if we had even 2 canon endings then people would go even more stupid than now. Mouthwashing is inspired by real stuff that happens (SA, “holding off” on getting justice for it for the sake of the group, people who ignore the actions rape culture perpetuates then becoming victims of violent acts on their own, etc etc).

We just saw a CEO who’s indirectly responsible for the deaths of thousands of people being murdered and the public response that followed. As a society we’ll literally always question whether or not the death of someone bad is a good thing, but we’re much more likely to have outcry with it when it’s so blatant. Someone dying behind closed doors or “softly/peacefully” , generally a non disruptive death to the general public, it’s held with significantly less outcry. A lack of tension doesn’t guarantee the presence of justice.

I think that Jimmy being killed to save the group should also be recognized as an equally viable option in the same way Curly’s decision to hold off on angering him more until they got back to safety was valid.

Curly holds a very important role as the Captain of the Tulpar which at the end of the day means that no matter what any and all mishaps ARE on him. Being a leader means taking on the responsibility of care for others, and considering him being the sole member kept by the Pony Express, Curly was GOOD at his job. With all the fights we see between Daisuke and Swansea with him trying to chase Swansea away? Keeping them together for months was a pretty great feat. Anya asking Curly why there’s no locks on the doors of the sleeping quarters is a very significant moment, and there’s a reason why the majority of women who do playthroughs instantly understand the implications while men don’t. It’s also a big part of SA culture. Despite the very real chance of men becoming victims too, it’s something they just aren’t taught to fear or think about as a possibility. It never crosses their minds that that will happen to them or someone in their general vicinity if they “know” everyone. It’s the concept of every woman knowing a victim but no man knowing a perpetrator. Curly genuinely and fully believes in Jimmy’s potential and personhood after knowing him for so long even though logically he’d have the most exposure to Jimmy’s aggression and seeing the way he treats women. As a Captain, it’s Curly’s fault for not connecting the dots or noticing what was going on, or taking more action from the start with the way Jimmy treated Anya despite the fact that Jimmy was more than likely passive aggressive towards Curly as well. Albeit for extremely different reasons with Jimmy looking DOWN on Anya for being born a woman while he dislikes Curly when he perceives Curly looking down on HIM for having more success in life. It’s no coincidence that Curly’s narrative “punishment” is being robbed of his autonomy and choice like Anya was.

The role of taking leadership and looking out for the bigger picture as a whole and ignoring a dead pixel or the unimportant things until perceived bigger issues are taken care of is the JOB of the Captain. For what Curly knew, Jimmy was a problem but hadn't escalated past what he had ever directly seen of him doing, he was in check. When he's a potential threat it makes sense Curly chose to wait until they were in a safer location than closing in on an asteroid field, but ignorance is also a sin especially when you're proven to be a good leader in all other moments.