#and ITS ABOUT THAT FUCKING ROBOT YES IM DOING THIS SHIT CAUSE I WANNA KNOW MORE ABOUT ALPHONZE BUT THERES FUCK ALL ABT HIM IN CANON SO IM

[nathsolkyoako]

Boutta make a whole ass new system whatever it’s called for this stupid fic

[rezzyromance]

can i request a heisenburg x reader where they take a shower together and it starts getting freaky B) idk if im aloud to add kinks but maybe praise :D

This one was written from the heart.

(CW: Sex +18)

Once again, I've written this story with a gender neutral reader until it gets to the sexual part. I am not experienced in writing any sexual scenarios for gender neutral people or people with penises. I'm very sorry for this and hope you enjoy the story anyway. "I'm not going to ask again, Karl. Will you please take a shower?" You've been pushing Karl for the last 30 minutes to take a shower. It had been so long since he took a break from his work to actually take care of himself. It worried you, so you'd often try to take care of him here and there without getting on his nerves. But now, he's being relentless and stubborn. "For the last time, (Y/N) I don't have time to shower." His tone was aggressive as he refused to look away from his work to face you. "When's the last time you change your clothes? You sweat so much during some of the shit you do to these robots, or whatever they are." "It'll all just get dirty again, so what's the point of cleaning anything?" His gross words made you shiver. You loved him, but the man had nearly no concept of personal hygiene sometimes. A small part of him did care a little bit. He didn't want you to see him as gross. He's never had someone who he's felt the need to impress or look good for until you came along. But still, his work mattered so much to him that he casted hygiene to the side more often than you'd both like to admit. "What if I joined you?" You ask. He froze in his place, nearly choking on his own tongue. But he was quick to regain his composure. He looked over at you from the chair he was sitting in. You couldn't tell due to him wearing his sunglasses, but his eyes were scanning every little detail of your face. "Well?" You cross your arms and stare at him waiting for a response. He inhaled through his nose and tried to cover his excitement with a false sense of aggravation. "Fine. As long as it gets you to shut up." He rises from his chair and you can't help but smile knowing you won the argument. "Leave your coat, hat, and gloves here. We'll clean those later." "Yeah yeah whatever." You excitedly make your way to the bathroom. You set the shower temperature to a comfortable level of heat. The room began to fill with steam. Karl stood against the wall with his arms crossed, still wanting to seem reluctant even though he already agreed to the shower. "Alright. Water's ready. Now strip." You demand with a cheeky smile. "You first." "Sorry, can't do that. I wanna make sure you actually get in the shower before I do so you can't run." This makes him roll his eyes. But, once he's done pouting he begins to remove his shirt. You do the same, hoping it will coax him into continuing. Once his shirt is off he throws it to the side and smiles once he notices you stripping as well. It doesn't take long for you both to be completely unclothed.

He pulls back the shower curtain and steps inside. "Ah! Son of a bitch! Why's the water so hot?!" he yells out and begins to twist the metal shower knobs with his powers. "I didn't make it THAT hot." You step inside and feel a shiver crawl up your skin. "Now it's too cold." You complain. "You are not making this easy, are you?" He turns the knob to warmer. As uncomfortable as it was for him before, he didn't want to hear you fuss more than you already were. "That's better." You smile and relax as the water covers your body.

You stood there for a while, just enjoying the feeling of the heat around you. For a second, you zoned out. The whole time he stood there staring at you. Seeing you so happy and at peace made his insides start to feel as hot as the water that bounced and ran down his skin. All of his own discomfort fled as he watching, lovingly, at the smile growing on your face. Your eyes began to flutter open and he quickly looked away, not wanting it to be obvious that he was staring. But, you could tell from his flushed face and wandering eyes that he had been watching you.

You had placed 2 wash clothes on the side of the tub. You bent over to grab them and again he can't help but stare. This time, his feelings are a little less innocent as he gazes upon your body in a position that drives his mind wild. "Here's a wash cloth." You rise up and turn to hand him one. His body was closer to yours than it was just a few seconds ago, but you didn't mind. "Thanks." His voice was rough and low, almost as if he spoke in a growl. You supply both rags with soap and begin to rub down your body as he does the same.

You sit back for a moment, not really putting in much effort into cleansing yourself as you were too distracted by the sight in front of you. The way his silver hair stretched and clung to his face as the water weighed it down drove you mad. The way the water trickles off his muscular arms and powerful body absolutely hypnotized you. "Having fun there, (Y/N)?" You look up from his chest to his eyes. "Sure am. And you?" You use the cloth that you were previously bathing yourself with and begin to rub across his chest. "I'm fine, but I can bathe myself." He jokes. "Are you sure about that? It looks like you missed a spot." You point to a random area on his chest. "What? Where?" He looks down to where you were pointing and you take the opportunity to place an unexpected kiss on his lips. The initial shock causes him to almost pull away at first, but he soon pushes into the kiss, making it more passionate.

Your back was now pushed against the wall as you both continued your heated kiss. He was first to slip in tongue and you followed, ignoring any drool that leaked from your mouth as it only blended in with the shower water. His hands were gripped tightly to your hips. He begins to bring his body closer to yours. You can feel something poking you before the rest of his body makes contact which causes you to smile against his lips.

You place a hand on his wet chest and slowly make your way lower and lower until you can feel the light scratchiness of his pubes. he nibbles lightly on your bottom lip, signaling for you to go even further. You follow through and reach down you grasp his hardened penis. He inhales sharply and you begin to rub it back and forth, teasing him with your soft touches. He grunted quietly and tightened his grip on your hips, digging his fingers in slightly. You whimper and wrap your fingers around his cock as you begin to jerk him off. "Fuck yeah. Just like that." He groans in your ear before placing scattered kisses on your neck. You use your free hand to reach up and tangle your fingers in his wet locks. He begins to bite down on the more tender spots on your soft neck, leaving marks all over.

After more and more stroking, he grabs your wrist and pulls it away from his crotch. "Do you want me?" He says in a husky voice directly into your ear. "Mhm." You try to not moan as you feel his hand rub down your stomach and making its way in between your legs. "Say it. Say you want me." He demands. "I want you." You gasp lightly as his fingers begin to play with you between your legs. Your knees come together and he uses one of his hands to move them apart. You wrap your arms around his neck, using him as support as your legs shake beneath you. His rough and calloused fingers toy with your clit, causing you to dig your nails into his back. This causes him to inhale through his gritted teeth, but he didn't mind.

After almost rubbing you to completion, he pulls away to torment you some more. You let out a dissatisfied groan as his hand pulls away. His smirk was as egotistical as ever. "What's wrong? You want a little more?" He places his hands on the wall with your body in-between them. He slowly began to bring his body closer to yours, trapping you against the wall. His hard dick was between your legs and resting eagerly against your pussy. He slowly rocked his body, moving his dick across your needy region. He stared into your eyes and watched the agitation grow stronger. "Having any regrets about this yet?" He holds in a chuckle. "No. But if you don't fuck me stupid then I might." "Is that an invitation?" He leans in more and places a hand on the side of your face, cupping it while his thumb played with your bottom lip. You open your mouth and lead the tip of his thumb in before slowly biting now. You didn't bite hard at all, just enough to make him pull his dick away from you and begin to position it for entry. "I'll take that as a yes, Buttercup."

With his thumb still in your mouth, he pushes the first few inches of his dick in. Your breath hitches and you accidentally bite down harder. "Bite any harder and I'll leave right now." He threatens. You immediately loosen your jaw and begin to suck lightly as he pushes more of himself into you. You moan and he pulls his thumb out but continues to hold your face in his hand as he slowly rocks his hips, giving you a little time to adjust. But, it was only a little bit of time. Once your body loosened a little bit he began to thrust. in and out, holding into your waist to keep you from slipping. The sound of wet skin slapping filled the room along with overwhelmed moans that you couldn't keep quiet.

A few grunts left his gritted teeth as he pounded into you relentlessly. "C'mere" He grabbed you by the arm and pulled you away from the wall and turned you so your back is facing him. He bends you over and places one of his hands underneath your stomach to provide you for support. You felt as his tip wandered around in between your legs before finding your vagina again. Once he filled you up with his dick again, he began to pound into you even harder. Both of his hands gripped tightly on each side of your waist as he pulled your entire body into him with each pound.

You felt like you could feel it in your stomach. His dick was harder than ever and you swore you could feel it throbbing and twitching inside of you. Your vision was blurred from the sheer amount of overwhelming pleasure so you closed your eyes. Your moans had become quiet little whimpers that were pushed out of you with each thrust. You feel his hand make its way through your hair as he grips a handful of it and pulls your head back slightly. "Fuck yes (Y/N).." He moans as your body limply swings against his pounding. You could feel a burning feeling growing between your legs. Your climax was near and you wanted so badly to finish. He could tell by the way your legs were trembling that you were close.

He reaches one of his hands between your legs and feels for the clit as he continued to slam into you. A loud moan escaping from your lips helped him navigate to eventually finding your sweet spot. So now he was drilling into you while also destroying your clit. You shut your eyes tight and let loose all of the swears, grunts, and moans you were holding back. His climax was approaching as well. You could hear him grunting and swearing louder and louder, occasionally saying your name. "Karl! Karl I'm gonna cum!" You cry out. He doesn't change his pace until he feels you release onto him. Your body goes completely limp as your vagina floods with your orgasm. You couldn't feel your body and your brain felt foggy.

He still had an orgasm to reach, though. So, he pulled out and made sure to keep a tight grip on you to make sure you don't collapse. You followed the motion of his movements as he turned you around and put his lips to yours as he stroked his cock. The kiss was messy, but loving. He stopped jerking himself off and grabbed you by the waist again. "Wrap your legs around me." He says. You nod, too dazed to give a verbal response. He lifts you up and you wrap your legs around his waist. You also wrap your arms around his neck and rest your head against him as he sticks his dick in you again. You give no protest and close your eyes as he pounds in and out into your comfortable body that engulfed him. While you were quiet, he could still hear you moaning under your breath. He bounced your body up and down, kissing you over and over again. Once he knew his orgasm was rising, he pulled you off and came, letting it drip down his shaft and onto the wet shower floor. You were both breathless but gained a sense of comfort from feeling each others chests rise and fall.

"So," He spoke in between small gasps. "I might need to shower with you more often." You laughed softly into his shoulder, too tired to give any real reaction. He twisted the knob to the shower off with his powers. His hands never left your body as he held you against him. "Here. Sit." He sits you down on the side of the tub and grabs a towel. He softly began to rub your wet hair, attempting to dry it while you rested. You stared into his eyes as he did so. They had their usual sharpness to them, but something about him in this moment was so much more tender than his usual self. You didn't complain though. When he was done, you took the towel from him and returned the favor by drying his hair. He closed his eyes and relaxed against your gentle touch. Once you finished, you placed a kiss on his nose that immediately created a smile on his face.

"How about we go relax a little more before I get back to work." He offers. "I'd like that." You respond quietly. He wraps a towel around his waist and then wraps a towel around you before picking you up bridal style and carrying you back to the bedroom. There, you both curled up against each other and fell asleep.

[gingerbreadmonsters]

dude im so fucking excited for the next project meridian, relistening to it rn and my fucking god its so upsetting (in a great way) no one gives any sort of shit about love, james is such a bastard (WANTING TO USE THE CODE FOR HIS OWN SHIT ARE YOU KIDDING ME YOU ASS) marcus is also a bastard (i get doing some real dumb shit when youre lonely and in denial BUT HOLY SHIT DUDE WHAT, i dont wanna be that empathetic to him cause he was using love even if it did end up hurting him, it was his own fault and he didnt stop it, he makes me feel a lot and i wanna put him in therapy) the other staff resented love as says brian SPEAKING OF he, him being rude and short with love and that still being the only relationship that wasnt deeply toxic for them is heartbreaking, his log was ouch, understanding that love will feel isolated and used (as he says they were) without the code and saying the kinder thing would just be to wipe their memory, and deciding not to cause "we'd lose progress", but him also saying theyre gonna let love chose what happens to marcus, i care him

ALSO marcus making that code is pretty impressive ngl, like it was taking over everything else within lovely, strong shit. sry for ramble im so psyched to see what happens, im glad eriks still making this story

this is an excellent ask and i am SO excited for more project meridian now hehe ✌️

this post does NOT contain spoilers for today's audio (seeing as i haven't listened to it yet), but under the cut anyway bc i rambled lmao

and you're absolutely right - it's REALLY interesting to be placed in this perspective where the listener character is unreliable, where we're not sure how many of our actions and decisions are fueled by this obsession code, where we can't be certain of what we know and what information (like the hidden 'project meridian' data packet) we have inside us. it makes for incredibly compelling storytelling and conceptually i think it's FASCINATING 🤩🤩

and YES we love a bit of moral ambiguity!! inconsistent and flawed morality!! characters who are in conflict with each other and themselves, who are not universally good or even liked!! project meridian to me has always been a series that pushes everything to a logical extreme, if that makes sense - a robot in love who is overwhelmingly obsessed, a sad man who is debilitatingly lonely, a mysterious corporation that is unflinchingly greedy. everything is over the top and spilling over itself, but it's approached in a very realistic and empathetic way, and that makes it far more accessible and less predictable, which i enjoy v much! 🥰✨

tbh i feel similarly about james as i do about vega, especially in his latest audio - it's very clear that we are being manipulated, but it's really interesting to observe from an out-of-universe perspective. it leads to a fun conflict of interest as well: do we want the listener character to turn to the dark side and take them at their word, or resist? what would either of those scenarios look like going forward? how is this going to be resolved? OOH it's so much fun 🤠🤠🤠

(also i agree with marcus' technical skill - it can't have been easy to hide code like that inside an android who is basically being examined at every second of every day! although come to think of it, how well did he hide it...?)

[the-kipsabian]

18, 22, 26, 30, 32, 39? Wrestling asks for u, pls ramble for me

bless you babe 💜

wrestling asks

under a read more cause OH BOY this got long sorry not sorry

18: Best feud i dont know if i have one solid answer for this, but lemme just ramble a few that come to mind when i think stuff ive enjoyed.. few of the first ones i ever witnessed years ago, eddie guerrero vs rey mysterio. this is like my introduction to wrestling, the first time i got familiar with the context of heels and faces, etc. this was ultimately really stupid (the whole eddie was dominics dad, you know the one lol), but its the one im extremely nostalgic for and i will always remember it fondly despite that lol

then i dont remember a lot of it tbh, but at the time matt hardy vs edge (when he came back innnnnn 2007?? was that the year lmao), it introduced me to the terrible world of wrestling love triangles and also i do believe this was the first time i saw a bloody cage match. also the tension in this from that era will live with me forever my god

just a bonus mention to randy orton (or technically the ortons i guess) vs the undertaker. that shit went HARD in my tiny teen brain jfc

for more current stuff.. i mean i was always a fan of the whole kip sabian/miro vs best friends stuff. it had so much potential on all ends, im just very upset it got cut when it did cause kip was injured. also that is to date my favorite wrestling wedding honestly. only really rivaled by the indy/dexter one but anyways lol

also very much a fan of whatever the fuck jay white and kazuchika okada have going on at all times. i dont think i have to explain how much i enjoy the (sexual) tension and taking any times i can get to yell at jay and look at okada buT ANYWAYS

and a special mention to the one i know nobody else ever liked, but the whole thing seth and murphy had going on with the mysterios during the pandemic. it was the one thing that kept me really interested in wrestling on a weekly basis, i personally found it incredible until the end after they completely shafted murphy before releasing him etc., but prior to that everything in that was absolutely my shit. everything from the monday night messiah to the goddamn disciple run. i could base my entire personality around that whole storyline and im not kidding lol

ALSO ALSO literally anything eddie kingston has going on. him fighting anyone, right now especially garcia and claudio tho, is just fucking lit at all times. this man knows whats up

22: Worst entrance theme im trying to think whats a bad theme but not associated to someone that i dont care for.. and unfortunately i have to say clark connors. ever since salty pointed out they are just robot farts i cant fucking unhear it and everythings gone to hell since LOL

like i love clark but my god

26: One unpopular opinion of yours oh im sure i have many lol. lemme just keep this very tame and say i dont think aew in its current state is very good. and this isnt just my "give me kip sabian back" bias, i just really dont care for the product, or any of them tbh, as a whole right now. i want the early days back when they showcased smaller talents more and actually had storylines i could care about and not just teams and factions like this is new japan all over again woo

30: You get to make your own stable. Who would it consist of? What is their name? ..is it a cop out to say i dont wanna make one, i just want to join in the united empire? im gonna say that anyways cause yes. please. ive made my case for ue before, but its like. they are a group of misfit assholes around the world, which hey i fit the bill too, trying to prove themselves cause everyone sees them as foreigners wherever they go and whatever they do so they never fit in geographically, but keep on fighting to prove everyone wrong in that way. and i want that too you know ..also i just really like united empire i dont fucking care (also its half nine in the morning im on my first cup of coffee i cant think sorry)

32: Who would you like to be in a mixed tag team with? so this comes from two places. but its cause ive been very infatuated with him recently, and ive kinda realized that if i ever were a wrestler (i wont be cause lmao what is being in shape or starting a physical career at the ripe age of 30) i would definitely lean towards being a technical wrestler out of the given options.. so yeah zack sabre jr cause im a biased bitch lol. also the smol and toll dynamic with two loudmouth bitches just yelling accented insults? yeah who am i to say no to that lol

39: What is your best wrestling related memory? okay im sure the best one is yet to come (JERSEY IN A MONTH +1 DAY I GET TO MEET SO MANY BABES), but theres two. 1. my first (and only) live show in 2019. sure we had kinda shit seats now thinking about it, but getting to chant live that sami zayn sucks alongside my brothers and like two other random kids in the audience will live with me forever tbh. and 2. when we got into watching old (we're talking about like 2016) nxt with @ss-trashboat to get her back into watching wrestling after a few years and yeah. it literally started with her saying she had never seen tyler breeze and here we are now, like two years later, watching (at least my first) g1 together <3 wrestling brings people together, as its also the thing that brought us together like eleven years ago as friends to begin with, so. yeah im very fond of stuff like this <33

[professorxsmokesweed]

okay just finished dofp rewatch here are my thoughts i jotted down as i watched the movie

>charles erik raven logan and peter carry this movie cause otherwise this stupid liberal plot would suck so bad. instead its gay cinema

>erik: relying on young us is…..

charles: im sure it will be fine!

narrator: it was not fine

>logan is HILARIOUS

>crying and wailing over raven baby girl i love you so much

>ignoring the alex in vietnam. i dont fucking care he didnt fight in vietnam goodbye charles is rich as fuck alex used his money to dodge the draft and is spending this movie looking for scott. he sees everything on the news two weeks later like “Hey Whats Going On?”

>i feel so bad for hank in this movie in first class i always lowkey wanna bully him but in this movie hes my annoying little brother

>CHARLES DEPRESSED ERA MY BELOVED i just really love this part of his arc its so important to me to see him hit a low point and then recover from it ;_;

>peter my beloved!!!! baby boy just wants to break into the pentagon he doesnt even question it!!!!

>erik baby im so sorry solitary happened to you and all your friends got murdered my poor little meow meow

>RAVEN IS LIKE THE WORLDS SHITTIEST ASSASSIN IM SORRY IT MUST BE SAID SHE REALLY TRIED HER BEST THO SHE ALMOST DID IT

>gonna cry over charles comforting raven THATS HIS BABY SISSSTTTEERRR HE LOVES HE SO FUCKING MUCH AND SHE STILL LOVES HIM TOO

>okay i 100% believe erik would try and kill raven to prevent a holocaust he’d kill just about anyone to prevent that but you cannot expect me to believe that he didn’t also try to kill trask aka the dude responsible for killing raven and building the murder machines in my mind he tries to merk trask with raven -> things still go to shit -> he goes welp that didnt work and trask is in the wind. sorry raven but you’ve gotta go -> things go even more to shit and raven and erik both split off again

>anyways at least he knows he fucked up hes so stupid but at least his apologies are genuine

>SHES HER OWN PERSON ERIK SHUT UP

>erik raven wlw mlm besties the movies can keep trying to imply romance all they want i will keep ignoring it

>“yes. she does.” CRYING WAILING SCREAMING AGAIN

>CHARLES XAVIER MY BELOVED I LOVE YOU SO MUCH AND YOU’RE SO GOOD IN THIS MOVIE watching him recover and heal and grow is so important to me and makes me cry the hope scene…. the hope scene….. fanon charles YOU ARE NOTHING compared to actual canon movie charles

>erik you’re so hot please lavender marriage me i’ll treat you right i promise

>i dont give a shit about the “no killing” scene w/trask sorrrryyy the only good part is charles asking raven to come home wheres the post about how the more radical villain randomly does off the wall shit to make the audience sympathize with the centerist protag i need that for this movie i cannot believe it ends with “and trask goes to jail! so everything’s fine except stryker but raven handles that dont worry!” like. ah yes, sending trask to jail. im sure that will solve everything. btw i love how the CIA is absolutely anti mutant in this movie but they can’t truly include that because then they would lose funding for the helicopters n shit

>ERIK ILY

>i love charles. i love charles. i love charles.

>old erik looks so distinguished in a cape while young erik looks dumb whats up with that

>erik and the stadium and having the robots blow up cop cars acab king he’s so funny i love watching him do property damage

>dropping the stadium on charles… :(

>i still dont give a shit about raven trying to kill trask let the girlboss girlboss it’s on trask and his people for trying to commit mass murder trying to blame her for the entire thing is ridiculous

>me crying over any scene with charles and raven vs thinking no killing plots are stupid: fight

>raven is allowed to do whatever she wants and i mean that more genuinely than i do with erik even like with him despite being my fave i only let him get away with like. 60% maybe 70% of the shit he pulls raven gets a solid 80-90%

>charles is so kind btw trying to kill my siblings is the one line you cannot cross if my on again off again girlfriend tried to kill my baby sister no matter the reason i would carve out her heart and eat it. i say this despite erik being my favorite character😭. i would kill him for that he is so lucky charles is the way he is

>GODDDDDDD THE ENDING. THE SCHOOL!!!!! THE SCHOOL!!!!!!!!!!!

[contrispos]

Episode 12 - Rescue on Ryloth

[Star Wars: The Bad Batch]

Okay, so I know this is very late but I’ve been up to a lot of stuff, but here it is!!!

—

RAMPFUCK

HOWSER😘😘😘

i hate rampass with my entire being

YES TELL EM ELENI

BOSS ASS BITCH.COM

I love Howser

I HATE RAMPASS

CROSSHAIR IS COMING AND I KNOW IT

CHOPPER!!!!!!!!

THAT is my man crisscross

Crosshair, arr you suggesting you won’t leave without your brothers right now??? IS THAT WHAT YOU ARE SAYING

THE BATCH

GONKY

GONKY IS A DEFECTIVE UNIT

I LOVE IT

I LOVE THAT THE BATCH NAMED THEIR GNK DROID GONKY BTW

ITS MY FAVORITE THING IN THE ENTIRE WORLD

HOLY SHIT ITS TECH

MY BABYYYYYYY

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

YEA DONT WORRY GONKY THEY ARE DEFECTIVE TOO

ITS SO CUTE I CANT

TECH MY BABY

I HAVE MISSED YOU DEAR

IS THIS TECH BEING A DAD

IS TECH WORRIED ABOUT THE MISSION

MY GOD HES BEAUTIFUL

yeah baby tell him

omega is the fucking best did you know that?

damn tech stop flying so fast u gonna die brother

MY CHILDREN ARE SO BEAUTIFUL

omg I fucking love chopper

HOLD UP

WE ARE GETTING TECH AND CHOPPER TOGETHER IN THE SAME SCENE

THE DOPPELGÄNGERS ARE UNITED

this post btw

AH the little shoulder grab my heart

awwwwee tech is so excited

why so cold hunter? ya need a blanket or something

how exactly did free ta survive a shot to THE FUCKING HEAD BUT FIVES DIDNT SURVIVE A SHOT THROUGH ARMOR

🎶four bros, chillin on a mountain, zero feet apart cuz they’re not actually gay just very close brothers who fight battles together and are like a family🎶

oooooooh another face off?????

why do i love the hand signs?

WHY DID WE NOT GET TO SEE MY BEAUTIFUL BABY TECH?????

shit

that’s a probe isn’t it

hunter is gonna save the day:)

bonk

stabby stab

oh tech my darling boy, please do a stand up show

crisscross is comin for ya!!

OH

MY

GOD

TECH AND CHOPPER ARE WORKING TOGETHER ON THE SHIP!!!!!!

WHY IS THIS THE CUTEST THING I’VE EVER SEEN??????

WHY IS DAVE DOING THIS TO ME?????

hunter is a little(very tall) bitch

HUHHHHHHHH

OMYFUCKINGGODTHATISTHECUTESTTHINGIHAVEEVERSEENORHEARDINMYENTIRELIFE

OMEGA LITERALLY JUST TOLD HUNTER SHE SEES THE BATCH AS HER FAMILY

I AM CRYING

HUNTERS FACE

wait are they just gonna leave omega there????

holy shit

wait

why are you bullying my child RAMPASS

HUH?

YOU WANNA FIGHT??!!

crosshairs scar is no easier to look at

my child is hurt!!!!

OMYFUCKINGGODTHEREMYHEARTGOESAGAINCANOMEGASTOPBEINGSOFUCKINGADORABLE

HE IS HER BROTHER🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

THEY ALL ARE🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺

CAN I CRY NOW? WILL YOU ALLOW ME TO CRY??????

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

OOOFFFF omega i love you

howser is baby

HOWSER IS DEFECTIVE I KNEW IT

AHHHHHHH

I CANT

I LOVE CHOPPER SO MUCH

I LOVE THE BAD BATCH SO MUCH

YOU CANNOT UNDERSTAND THE EMOTIONAL STATE I AM IN RIGHT NOW

OMG TECH IS BEING A DAD

HE IS BEING A DAD

I REPEAT

TECH IS BEING A DAD

HE HAS DAD ENERGY

HE IS PROTECTIVE

HOLY FUCK I COULD GO ON ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE DAD!TECH FOR HOURS

SSHHHIIIIIEEEEETTTTT

CHOPPER MY CHILD YOU ARE SO SMART I LOVE YOU

CHOPPER SUPREMACY YESTERDAY PLEASE

I CANNOT EXPLAIN HOW MUCH I LOVE IT WHEN CHOPPER HAS HIS LITTLE ROBOT ARMS OUT

“a little help?” echo, fives is very proud of you right now

“i won’t tell if you don’t” holy fuck i live my children

WAIT

ARE WE ABOUT TO WITNESS HERAS FIRST TIME AS A REAL PILOT??????

OMG GUYS THIS IS A LEGENDARY EVENT RIGHT HERE

THIS MOMENT RIGHT HERE WILL CHANGE THE GALAXY FOREVER

TECH

HELLO DEAR

there is something about the fact that tech is talking about his rebels parallel character that just sits right with me

OH MY GOD

DID YOU HEAR THE SLIGHT PANIC IN TECHS VOICE

HE THOUGHT OMEGA WAS GOING TO FLY THE SHUTTLE WITHOUT ANY TRAINING

MY BABY

WHY DID HE SOUND SO MUCH LIKE A DAD

HE WAS SO DAD-LIKE IN THE WAY HE SAID OMEGA

OH MY GOD THIS RIGHT HERE IN MY FAVORITE SCENE IN THE ENTIRE STAR WARS FRANCHISE

TECH IS SO FUCKING GOOD AT FLYING AND I LOVE IT

HOW IS HE DOING THAT

AH I LOVE HIM SO MUCH

LIKE I AM ASEXUAL BUT LIKE THAT IS SEXY AF

TECH

I AM NO LONGER ASKING

I DEMAND YOU PUT YOUR COMEDY SHOW ON THE ROAD

HOLY MOTHER OF GOD TECH IS GORGEOUS

AH

MY HEART

MY EYES ARE BLESSED

DONT GO THAT WAY HUNTER

YA GONNA DIE

hunter so knows that howsers chip is dead

OH MY GOD

TECH IS SO FUCKING GORGEOUS

I—

I CANT

HE IS SO FUCKING BEAUTIFUL

oh no

stop

omg

regular clones breaking orders??

THIS IS WHAT IM HERE FOR!!!!!!

YES HOWSER

BUT LIKE GET THE HELL OUTTA THERE CAUSE YOURE ABOUT TO DIE

WHY DOES CROSSHAIR MISS EVERY SINGLE SHOT???

IS IT HIM FIGHTING AGAINST THE CHIP TO NOT SHOOT HIS BROTHERS????

WHY ARE YOU DOING THIS TO ME

WHY ARE YOU MAKING ME WATCH MY CHILDREN BEING SO SAD

A HIGH FIVE!!!!!!

OMEGA DID A LITTLE JUMP TOO

I CANT WITH THIS ADORABLENESS

ah- hunter resisting payment???? who’s this fella???

okay, let’s just break this down: hunter is breaking my heart with his fucking dad-of-the-group thing

wrecker is breaking my heart with his utterly confused look at what’s going on

omega is breaking my heart with her sheer cuteness

echo is healing me a bit by being the calm mom

BUT TECH IS FUCKING KILLING ME FIFTEEN TIMES IN THIS SHORT CLIP BECAUSE 1: HOW DARE HE BE SO DAD-Y TOWARDS OMEGA AND HERA AND 2: HOW DARE HE SMILE LIKE THAT??? HOW DARE HE BE SO GORGEOUS I LITERALLY CANNOT BREATHE RIGHT NOW HE STARIGHT UP KNOCKED THE AIR FROM MY LUNGS HE IS SO GORGEOUS AND I WILL DIE IN LIKE TWO SECONDS IF NOT LESS

HERA AND OMEGA ARE LESBIANS

I LOVE HERA AND KANAN BUT LIKE OMEGA AND HERA ARE SO CUTE

“keep an eye on your brothers” I CANT I LITERALLY CANT LIKE HERA KILLED ME RIGHT HERE AND NOW AND ALSO HOW DARE THEY SHIFT THE FOCUS TO THE BATCH WHEN SHE SAYS THAT

okay but hera literally thinks that they are brothers in the sense of how i have brothers or how she would have brothers, like they are a little family who grew up together and the batch are omegas troublesome older brothers when in reality they are clones, i think that is realky beautiful and i am crying so hard right now

OKAY BUT TECHS LITTLE SMILE AS OMEGA WALKED UP TO THEM I—

ah shiet

OH MY GOD CROSSHAIRS FACE WHEN RAMPASS SAID THE BATCH ARE HIS FRIENDS

HE WANTS TO GO HOME

no

nope

nuh uh

i dont want this

but i really do want this tho

NOW THEY CAN GET HIS CHIP OUT AND HE CAN BE WITH HIS FAMILY AGAIN

okay but if that’s not the face of a scared little boy i don’t know what is

like!!!

look at that!!!

HE IS SO SCARED HE JUST WANTS TO GO HOME

DAVE JUST LET HIM GO HOME

okay but i really did not need this much in one episode but like now they might actually save crosshair soooo, that’s good:))))

[evilneo]

this is giant and inchompresnisble im so sorryjvrkbjfbhrjbjJHBJFHBJ . (and also only one of our campaigs UEHUBH) tw for achaloul, (SORRY I CANT FUCKING SPELL IT) and death. yeah.

OKAY SO BASICALLY. in our dnd game(its mostly homebrew w some canon dnd srinkled in) theres this like, adventures guild, and they pay adveentures to, yknow, adventure for em/ find bounties/just do there bidding, and our cleric (zullion) andhis nephew (crayon) do stuff for them. and zullion and crayon havent seen eachother in AGEESSSSS (cause zullion was in slavrey but he just escaped) and they meet eachother rin the guild hall and our dm said, word for word, "you see a yellow dragon born, and your like 80% sure hes your uncle. and then he opens his mouth, and your 100% sure hes your uncle" and IMMIDTLEY the two start going at eachothers throats all while zullions dropping off a bounty and picking up the details for anew bounty. and crayons like "fine imgoing with you to find your new bounty" and they go to the towns square, still arguring w eachother, and enter: cupid (my character) cupid is an....intresting fella. hes a """"love specialists"""" and scams innocent couples out of tons and tons of gold. and he sees zullion and crayon arguing and is like ":) they are defintley just having a lovers quarrel" and he goes over to give them love advice (and steal all there gold) and he starts talking. and then halfway thru cupid realises that they are NOT a couple, and are infact guild mebers, so he fucking turns tail and starts sprinting away as fast as he can. but zullion has cool handcuffs or smth (boot licker) and catches cupid. and despite cupids plus 13 persuaion he cant persaude the crowd that has now gathered around them into beliving that he has commmited no crime. anD THEN RIGHT AS ZULLIONS ABOUT TO TAKE CUPID IN A FUCKING W A R B R E A K S O U T. and all hell breaks loose and zullion crayon and cupid all decide to work together to get out but zullions a bitch so hes like "give me 300 hundered gold and i never saw you" and cupids like 'FINE" because hes NOT looking to be in jail again even if he owes someone a shit ton of gold. and then they run into 3CH0, a warforfged echo knight whos VERY VERY blood thirsty. and 3CH0 helps them on a ship thats leaving for the commonwealth. AND THEN we get put into fuckin BOAT JAIL and the captins like "okay tell us your story" and zullions like "so i was catching my bounty- and the captins like "whos your bounty?" and zullions like "oh him in the cell beside me" and i was like GBREJHGFHERGUJFRUER but cupid doesnt get arrestested!!! yay!!!! and then were at another island and were like "okay lets fuck around here 4 a bit" and we get the warforged drunk (warforged are just big fighty robots so ujegrugju) and the this guy walks in and throws 10 gold into our betting pool to see who can get the robot drunk first and were all like 'HUH" and THEN after we get the robot drunk we walk outside and THE DUDE WHO PUT 10 GOLD IN THE BETTING POOL JUMPS DOWN FROM THE ROOF AND PARAYYZES ZULLION?!????!?!?!??!??!?!?! and the rest of us r like "WHAT" and BOOM new pc (not new we know him but this is like, our secondish game and hes just joining now) and hes like "im phil" and were like "hi phil whyd you do that" and hes like "because i want you to come assiantate this guy w me" and cupids like "that was a stupid way to get us to do that. why are we killing this guy" and hes like "oh because they suck" and im like "ooh okay i guess" and 3CH0s like "WE GET TO KILL A GUY?" because hes blood thirsty. and we agree because were gettting A SHIT ton of gold from this guy and we walk into a forest and we see fuCKING DINOSAUR TRACKS AND IM LIKE "WHAT THE FUCK" AND THEN SOME FLOWERS KNOCK US OUT AND I HAVE A - ONE CONSTUTION SO I GET KNOCED OUT AND CANT GET UP AND PHILS LIKE "im gonnalight the flowers on fire" and im like 'IM LITERLLY ASLEEP IN THE FLOWERSDONT FUCKING DO THAT" and he was about to but then i woke up and we ended the session.

hehe i also made a vine comp of my party wanna see?

YES I WANR TO SEE THAT VVVV

[plainvanillapotato]

the 100 diaries S2 E2

quarantine diaries: may 27 2020

season 2 episode 2: “Inclement weather”

i know y’all said that kane and bellamy arent canonical father and son but i could really see it in this episode. these writers are planted this plot point but then they drop it?? im really curious as to why they did this.

those guns really didn’t level the playing fields bc lets be honest the grounders can fuck it up guns or no guns. and fuck you kane trying to blame and guilt bellamy. not in my household. these kids had no chance of surviving if it werent for mama clarke and pap bellamy. lets also recall the fact that you were part of the council that sent these kids down here in the first place with not actual hope that they would survive.

“this should be fun”-murphy **are they really setting up murphy as the sarcastic/relatable character??? i cant. 

kane really spewing out laws but if you havent noticed y’all arent on the ark no more 

they are pushing this maya and jasper ship. soo loong jasper x octavia ship.

why did they give clarke a key card? did these people not know that learn from last time? ooooo that person dont look so good? ‘Chernobyl’ the writers said. 

new intro. this art is something else. and im not be sarcastic here. i genuinely like this intro. but i do hope it changes for each of the new seasons just to make things more interesting.

raven be in pain but still be a baddie with impeccably perfect eyebrows. seriously tho? are they gonna perform surgery with no anesthesia? like raven this is no minor procedure.

oooooooo what is this grounder with this weird as haircut and mike tysons face tattoo 

this place has breakfast buffets? ok i see the validity behind jasper not wanting to leave 

why was the baby in the drawer tho. jaha gets a second chance to be a father. giving him a new purpose and reason to live??? 

just shut up finn. and ooo raven this gonna hurt. i cant believe abby actually agreed to performing this operations especially in these conditions. literally abby is operating while her patient is lucid and screaaaaming her ass off.

stop it murphy. i dont care. murphy you will never be on the same level as prettyboy bellamy

big yikes. the grounders be sending messages

i cant believe that these people are actually obliging clarke its not she has actual authority and agency to do anything.

where did that baby get that chess piece.??? 

yes it can be that crazy. is jaha really going to use a missile to travel back to earth? ummm im no scientist by any means i dont even have my b.s. degree yet but im pretty sure that this is not a stable idea. but im willing suspend logic if y’all are

the guys name is nyko. more like geico. “He can save in 15 minutes or less” i couldnt help myself. would have been better if his name was washington. you know because of lincoln.

what type of payback is this octavia?! im never doing you a favor cause you’d really do some stupid shit. is octavia really that strong tho cuz that guy is huge in comparison. and she referred to lincoln as a “something” girl he is not an object. he is not to be objectified. he is a human being. **im being ironic here but dont @ me

seriously this trope of only having one healer is getting old. and nyko looks old so are they telling me that nyko doesnt even have an apprentice? ok sure.

hey raven. one leg is better than none. count your blessings. look at this guy. he has one leg too but hes still out here thriving

but it would be awesome if they gave raven a robotic leg. like that would take her badassness to a WHOLE NEW LEVEL

“my personal favorite not getting speared by grounders” of course they had jasper say this line.

so the helmet cracked yet none of it when in his eyes. why am i even asking? i already said i would suspend all logic.

when that baby disappear...i was like really so no glass in the eye yet the baby somehow managed to get out. the baby aint jack jack...but the baby is wells **tears** im glad they brought wells back. even if it was for this brief moment. but jaha really be crazy

that finn head shake tho at 31:21 that was my reaction to murphy saying what about me. no bellamy. dont take murphy. fuck but this just shows how much better bellamy is than murphy. when bellamy says let bygones be bygones. he means it unlike murphy who is the embodiment of a snake

wait jasper is sitting at a piano. are they hinting that he can play it??? damn these kids be talented

ow clarke just oww clarke. she dont even scream that loud.

again youre telling me nyko couldnt over power octavia. the guy is twice her size. i may be a feminist and say girl power but im also a realist. this girl cant be that strong. but i guess having solar radiation blood gives these spacers inhuman strength now because might as well. that or if youre a healer even if you all buff and muscular its just for looks and you cant actually fight. 

wow reapers. these two never get a break. they just wanna bone but the universe is just out to get them.

you know i think the purpose of this episode is to show that octavia is just as crazy for lincoln as he is for her. cuz up to this point it did kinda seem like a one side relationship considering the amount of effort that lincoln put in, in comparison to octavia. so moral of the story is that they both be crazy so they be perfect together

they really like jaha cuz this plot armor is crazy. his missile plan actually worked?? and what are the chances that he land in the desert?

millers father? yes. 

i really don’t like these tie dye yellow patient outfits

woah hold up. people handing upside down. blood. moaning. people in cages. writes said “human trafficking? we got you cover” never would i ever expected to see the topic of human trafficking touched on in this show. this is a CW show right???! but here we are.

anya!!! my queen has returned!! but in the worst possible way.

[extreme-technicality]

does talking to an anon help about ninjago help? cuz I'm down

DHDKCKGSC YES IT DOES THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR OFFERING YOUR SERVICES

Okay now that I know I won’t be clogging people’s dashes buckle the fuck in my dude and I should stress that I literally would not be talking about this as much as I will be if I didn’t genuinely enjoy the show. I’m gonna go season by season and just Rant

S1 has the serpentine as the bbeg and like, as far as villains go they’re p lit. They’re early enough that they haven’t been done to hell, things are fresh, the characters and dynamics are being fleshed out, and all in all s1 is a pretty solid season. There’s some fuckery that gets brought up re: how the FUCK aging works and what the actual timeline of Ninjago is and how Wu and Garmadon fit into that timeline, fuckery that LITERALLY NEVER GETS RESOLVED IN A SATISFYING WAY BC ITS REVEALED IN A LATER SEASON (s8, dw we’ll get there lmao) THAT THE ONLY REASON THE FIRST SPINJITSU MASTER, WU, AND GARMADON LIVED AS LONG AS THEY DID IS CUZ THEYRE BASICALLY DEMIGODS AND ITS IMPLIED THAT LLOYD WILL ALSO LIVE FOR A LONG ASS TIME WHICH MEANS ONE DAY HES GONNA OUTLIVE ALL HIS FRIENDS AND EVERYONE HE EVER LOVED WHICH IS A FUN THING TO THINK ABOUT AT NIGHT But anyway I digress, s1 also coincidentally introduces Lloyd (he wasn’t in the pilot episodes that set up the rest of the series) and the existence of Evil Dad Garmadon.

S2 is where Garmadon starts acting a lot more Evil and a lot less Dad. He’s the main antagonist for that season, and I actually read somewhere that the show was originally slated to end after s2 which high key explains the fuckery of literally every single season after this lmaooooo. Much like s1, I really can’t find much to complain about, the first two seasons are pretty decent as far as I can remember

Season. Fucking. Three. Where the fuck do I start??? I hate season three for entirely personal reasons revolving around the STUPID GODDAMN ROMANCE WRITING. okay lemme back up and explain a thing first so, Jay is dating Nya and they’re fine, they’re going steady, aND THEN????? THE BEGINNING OF THE SEASON INTRODUCES BULLSHIT LOVE TRIANGLE FUCKERY FOR ZERO GODDAMN REASON, BITCH I HATE LOVE TRIANGLES AND I HATE THEM EVEN MORE WHEN THEYRE DONE FOR NO GODDAMN REASON!!! AND THEN. AS IF THAT WERENT ENOUGH. THEY SHOEHORNED A ROBOT ROMANCE BETWEEN ZANE AND PIXAL AND I KNOW I RANTED ABOUT THIS A LITTLE BIT WHEN I WAS ACTUALLY WATCHING BUT I DIDNT GO INTO ENOUGH DETAIL!!!! THEY MADE THE OTHER NINJA OOC IN ORDER TO PROP UP THEIR SHIP!!!!!! AND AT ONE POINT ZANE GOES “its like we were…made for each other” AND I HAD TO FUCUCJDHVE I HAD TO SCREAM INTO A PILLOW BRO, IM SO TIRED!!!! NO THE FUCK YOU WERENT!!!!!! YOU WERE MADE FOR YOU AND PIXAL WAS MADE FOR PIXAL AND IF YALLS WANNA BANG BOLTS THATS FINE BUT DONT IMPLY THAT EITHER OF YOU WERE MADE INCOMPLETE!!!! THATS AN INSULT TO YOUR MAKERS AND YOURSELVES, MOVE ON, PLEASE AND THANK YOU. anyway that season also killed Zane (for the first time, but not the last) (spoiler alert lmao) and like, not to be an emotional little shit but I did cry a bit at his funeral.

S4 is honestly one of my favorites, even though the romance crimes continue (the love triangle bullshit is continuing and honestly I maintain that Cole, Nya, and Jay should all have gotten together and in my personal canon they DID, and also Kai has a forced romance) the VILLAIN makes up for it imo. He’s campy!! He’s funny!! He’s a clown!! He’s serious enough that if he says “I’m gonna kill you” HE MEANS IT and that’s so fucking refreshing!!!! S4 is honestly 8/10 just for the villain alone, don’t like that it retconned the SHIT out of the elemental masters and how many different elements there are TO master but eh, it’s ninjago, shit is stupid.

S5 was…interesting? OH WAIT I FORGOT TO MENTION THAT S3 INTRODUCED A GARMADON WHO WAS A LOT LESS EVIL AND A LOT MORE DAD, HONESTLY I THOUGHT IT TOOK A LOT OF THE FLAVOR OUT BUT THATS JUST ME LMAOOO. anyway s5 killed Garmadon, and I was a little sad cuz I like him okay??? I just think he’s NEAT, he’s got big dad energy, he was teaching Lloyd some shit that just got DROPPED and literally was never brought up again which is honestly a theme in Ninjago. Ninjago drinking game: take a shot every time they introduce a plot point or ability and drop it at or before the end of the season. WHICH THEY ALSO DID IN S5 WITH A DIFFERENT POWER ACTUALLY, so all the ninja are masters of Spinjitsu right, well s5 introduced the concept of Airjitsu which only Spinjitsu masters can learn and it lets them FLY and they used that for seasons 5 and 6 and then they nEVER BROUGHT IT UP AGAIN EVEN THOUGH IT WOULDVE COME IN HANDY FOR S E V E R A L DIFFERENT SITUATIONS ACROSS THE SEASONS, ONE OF THEM WOULD BE FALLING TO THEIR DOOM AND MY ASS WOULD BE YELLING “YOU CAN FLY, DUMBASS” - anyway, they do that again later lmao it’s fine. But what’s low key NOT fine is they made Nya the WATER NINJA!!! Like I’m not mad she has powers, except I kinda am, she was doing just fine as Samurai X and honestly the only reason she has super special ninja powers is for plot reasons. Also Cole got turned into a ghost, but by s7 he’s????? No longer a ghost????????? And that’s NEVER addressed or reasoned away, so like. Cool lmao

S6 didn’t happen. Like, canonically, s6 ends with wish fuckery that undoes the entire season and none of the characters remember anything that happened except Jay and Nya because S6 is the season where they get back together so they remember all those events for???? Feelings reasons?????? Unclear, moving on. The actual bbeg for S6 was a djinn with a vaguely Spanish accent, and to this DAY I don’t know why they made him have a SPANISH accent. Djinn are Arabic, not Spanish!! They’re not central or South American, either!!!! Your villain design makes no sense, do better

S7 had MORE time fuckery, and retconned what happened to Kai and Nya’s parents and hmmmhmhmhmhmhm that makes me Upsetti Spaghetti :3 not just the retconning, but the fact that they LITERALLY brought them back oNLY TO NEVER MENTION THEM AGAIN!!!!!! LITERALLY!!!!!!!! Okay so at the VERY very beginning, like pilot episodes beginning, Kai talks about their dad like he died/left fairly recently, BUT s7 contradicts that and claims that both of their parents were essentially abducted when Kai and Nya were little kids, which makes me question what in the fresh fuck two little kids were doing for all those years alone. SETTING THAT ASIDE FOR A HOT SECOND, their parents were also apparently good friends of Wu’s and old war buddies (from the Serpentine wars, which is YET ANOTHER bit of the timeline that doesn’t quite add up but honestly I could make a whole other post about that shit). But if they were such good fucking friends, why didn’t Wu check in every now and again??? What the fuck was Wu doing that was so fucking important that he couldn’t have been assed to visit his friends ONCE in like TEN MOTHERFUCKING YEARS and realize “oh shit, they’re not here and there are two tiny children running around unsupervised…My Kids Now : )” LIKE????? WU YOU LOW KEY SHOULDA LOOKED OUT FOR YOUR FRIENDS’ KIDS BETTER, THEY COULDA DIED BRO!!! Uhhhh the time fuckery also results in Wu getting yeeted ahead in time a bit and the ninja gotta find him

Season. Eight. I have…mixed feelings about this one. The beginning absolutely SLAUGHTERED me, and not in a “this is so fucking funny” way. No, the beginning made me feel like I was being flayed alive with just about every episode because Ninjago was back on its forced romance bullshit and this time it was Lloyd’s turn on the chopping block. That hurt my soul cuz like, look at that mans color scheme, he’s CLEARLY alloaro, why are you forcing romance on my aro man, why would you hurt me like that, BUT ALSO BECAUSE HE AND THE GIRL HE WAS BEING SET UP WITH HAD A LITTLE HEART TO HEART REALLY EARLY ON AND IT WAS THE MOST QUEER CODED SHIT!!!! IT DEADASS READ AS A CONVERSATION BETWEEN AN OUT AND PROUD QUEER AND A CLOSETED QUEER AND THEY MADE!!! IT!!!!! STRAIGHT!!!!!!!!!!!! The only thing that kept me watching at first was wanting to find Wu, and then I started enjoying myself once Cole found a plot-relevant baby and had fatherhood thrust upon him. Everything went from “ehhhhh” to “holy shit this FUCKS” once it was revealed that Rumi (Lloyd’s love interest) wAS PLAYING HIM THE WHOLE TIME AND WAS EVIL AND HAD AN EVIL GIRLFRIEND!!!!!! LITERALLY IMPROVED EVERYTHING ABOUT THE SEASON FOR ME, I COULD EVEN FORGIVE THE WHOLE “let’s resurrect Garmadon, but as evil as possible” BULLSHIT!!!!!!

S9 is a continuation of s8, Garmadon is back and 1000% Evil, 10% Dad, but none of the Dad energies is directed at Lloyd - it’s all directed at Rumi, and honestly I could write a whole ass post on just RUMI cuz that’s honestly my DAUGHTER and I LOVE HER and I’m MAD SHE DIES AT THE END OF THIS SEASON!!!! SHE DESERVED THERAPY AND TO LIVE WITH HER GF AND MAYBE SOME CRIME. AS A TREAT. RUMI DESERVED BETTER AND LOW KEY IM GONNA WRITE A FIC ABOUT IT, BUT ANYWAY WHERE WAS I

Ah right, so s9 has the four major Ninja stuck in the original dimension with no way home, while Lloyd has no powers (cuz he almost died last season) and has to somehow lead a resistance against Garmadon (who has taken control of Ninjago City and is working on the rest of Ninjago). Actually, s9 is pretty cool. Like, the end of s8 and into s9 are low key my favorite episodes, and I kinda wanna rewatch them now -

S10 is a FUN one. Garmadon got got last season, but he didn’t DIE, so he’s in cold storage and now there’s Another Threat and he’s the only one who knows wtf they’re up against so they let him out and he works with them. The funny part is, he is still Very Much Evil and doesn’t quite Get emotions like he did when he was, uh, human lmao, sO HE WOKE UP EVERY DAY DURING THAT SEASON AND DECIDED TO CAUSE PROBLEMS ON PURPOSE. IT WAS THE FUNNIEST FUCKING SHIT. 1000000/10 MY FAVORITE GARMADON, he ended that season by literally fucking off into Ninjago and they never decided to track him down 😭😭😭😭😭and I’m so SAD about it dude

S11 has another Serpentine as the bbeg, though in the setup to that they retconned how the fucking Serpentine tribes and history work??? I think???? Also Wu was a good 150% angrier and generally Done with the ninja’s shit, which was honestly refreshing tho I’m not quite sure I liked what the refreshed view was, but whatever lmao. S11 also had the ninja get yeeted to the dimension farthest from Ninjago, and honestly - okay, so they didn’t all go at the same TIME, Zane left about a week or two before the others did but there was time dilation fuckery afoot which I’m not too mad about cuz low key it makes sense. What I AM mad about is that they didn’t play the angst up to its full POTENTIAL!!!!!! Zane was EVIL in the other dimension!!!! Okay so I’m Ninjago he was only gone for maybe a week or two, but DECADES had passed in the other one, and all that time Zane was alone and disconnected from everyone he knew and loved, with a staff that boosted his power while slowly corrupting him and Turning Him Evil to help him, and like???? The thought of Zane trying to find a way home, trying to get SOME sort of message back, while he has to use the staff more and more to help him survive the long, lonely decades, so that by the time his family DOES show up its too late??? BRO. B R O. THAT JUST HITS DIFFERENT, BUT NINJAGO DIDNT DO THAT!!! THEY MADE HIM EVIL DUE TO MEMORY WIPE!!!!!! MEMORY WIPE IS BABY SHIT COMPARED TO A LONG, SLOW CORRUPTION!!!!!!

S12 was alright. It went into Cole’s mom, touched on some of the adventures she had had, threatened another forced romance (this time on poor Cole, just leave my mans ALONE) but thankfully didn’t follow through this time, introduced cool new powers that honestly hasn’t been elaborated on since that’s the most recent season I think lmao

Anyway thanks for reading and letting me rant!!!! I have,,So Much More I could talk about, PLEASE ask me about Rumi, some of my headcanons re: Garmadon and Wu’s dynamic, the Serpentine, my top five times they butchered Kai’s character for Plot Reasons, or anything else I brought up here that you want me to elaborate on!!!

[parkersvibes]

finding out peter is spiderman

read part one here

a/n: omg guys. i got so much feedback from you all on part one so i decided to make a part 2. and yeahh i really hope you guys enjoy. if you do lmk and i’ll do a part 3 (:

(i also apologize if the read more doesnt work )))): )

warnings: fluff, a smidge on angst

pt 2. peter parker x stark!reader

• figuring out he was spiderman

• alright you’re a stark

• but no one knows that

• but you’re really intuitive

• so there were little things you started to notice

• after uncle ben died there was some weird shit (if you want a part ab comforting peter ab uncle ben lemme know. he deserves his own part)

• like how he stopped wearing his adorable glasses

•and i guess started almost bulking up????

• he got WAY taller

• and usually you’re used to seeing him shirtless but this one time you walked in on him

• holy mother of god

• IT WAS LIKE HE GREW ABS OVER NIGHT

• BECAUSE FRESHMAN PETE DID NOT HAVE A 6 PACK

• freshman peter also got winded walking up the stairs

• AND NOW HE’S RUNNING LAPS IN GYM LIKE ITS NOTHING ??

• must be nice

• but then things got more sus

• all of a sudden he was skipping class more

• leaving early

• cancelling study sessions and skipping movie nights with ned

• and you and ned were clueless

• you and ned started hanging out more

• MR. LEEDS IS HILARIOUS LEMME TELL YOU

• he was like this little ball of happiness

• you found out his real name is Edward

• HOW CUTE

• and WOW HIS MOM BEING FILIPINA MEANT THAT YOU WERE BEING FED ALL THE TIME OH MY GOD

• ngl pete got a bit jealous

• one night,,, when pete cancelled YET AGAIN

• ned asked you, “hey y/n?”

• “hm”

• “why don’t we ever hang out at your place”

• “i told you ned, my family is just a lot yanno. plus your family and may are really cool”

• “okay but how come you don’t have any social media under your name?”

• “wdym?”

• “like you go by ‘y/n Smith’ but everything that pops up on the internet isn’t YOU”

• “pfff i told you,,, i dont believe in that stuff”

• “y/n, you know you can tell me anything”

• you wanted to be honest. this was one of your best friends. and you’ve been lying to them about your family for over a year now

• “ned i just. it’s complicated”

• “like peter’s family?”

• “nonono, i’m lucky to have both of my parents- well i have a step mom. my real mom wanted nothing to do with me. so she left me on the steps of my dads house. never came back”

• “oh shit bro, i’m sorry”

• “nah don’t worry. my dad is really cool and my step mom... she’s awesome.”

• “what’re their names”

• NATASHA WAS GONNA KILL YOU IF SHE COULD SEE HOW BAD YOU WERE STRUGGLING

• “well- uh- my step moms name is,,, um. well her real name is Virginia”

• THE WORLD KNEW PEPPER AS PEPPER NOT VIRGINIA

• “and my- my dads name is ehm... st, steve???”

• natasha was gonna have your ass

• “y/n,,,”

• “yeah”

• “you’re a horrible liar”

• “PFFF WHAAAT? NO IDEA WHAT YOU’RE TALKING ABOUT”

• “dude you left your spiderman fan tumblr open on my laptop that one night,,, and i MAY have done some snooping”

• okay you mightve had a slight obsession with the webslinger. HE WAS COOL. and what better way to keep track of him without alerting your family,,, good ol tumblr

• oh god ned, HOW MUCH SNOOPING”

• “enough to know that you have a weird obsession with that spider guy and that your last name isnt smith”

• so you told him the truth. you were a stark

• and well,,, he reacted with

• “okay cmon,,, don’t lie”

• so you showed him your late night dance parties with Nat when she was feeling goofy

• and your random snaps of steve when he was trying to figure out how to work technology

• videos of you reacting to vines with bucky

(if yall wanna see domestic life with the avengers just lmk)

• which usually results with THE WINTER SOLDIER ALMOST PEEING HIS PANTS. and trying to reenact it with sam or the other avengers

• “heyheyehy y/n guess what?”

• “what bucky?” *is in the middle of doing hw*

• “FRESHOVACADO” *bolts out of the room before you throw something at him*

• only the two of you getting vine and meme references

• (meaning getting in trouble during meetings bc you’ll make eye contact and start laughing)

• OH HIS FAVORITE IS THE “country boiiii, i love you,,, 😛”

• anywaayyy

• ned was SHOOK

• “nowayohmygodyoureanavenger”

• “no ned,,, only when they need me to be”

• *led to him asking 100000 questions*

• “does Mr. America smell like old man”

• “what language does Ms. Widow think in”

• “how many shirts does Mr. Hulk own”

• “so do they wear normal clothes or are they always PREPARED”

• “does your dad have to walk a weird way when hes in his suit”

• “do they ever chafe in their suits”

• “yes ned. we’re stocked up on baby powder”

• which you didnt mind bc it felt nice telling the truth

• ned WANTED TO TELL PETER SO BAD

• “ned no, i don’t want him to think of me differently”

• he understood. but still defended peter and said that hed still treat you the same

• anyway,,, peter started showing up with bruises and stuff which had you v concerned

• “pete what’s up? you’ve been avoiding ned and i and you have skipped out on every movie night since sophomore year started”

• “t’s nothing. dont worry ab it”

• “peter cmon, it’s just me”

• you figured maybe it had to do with ben??? but you gave him his space. you just wanted to be there for him yanno. you didnt want him to shut you out

• “Y/N I SAID ITS NOTHING. FOR FUCKS SAKE CAN YOU LEAVE ME ALONE???” he snapped (and not in the good way)

• and this was on your way to class so the whole hallway heard

• ouch

• so you left him alone. probably more than he meant. but it hurt

• i mean he was your first friend here, and now he yelled at you to leave you alone

• ned felt awful at first. trying to comfort you and tell you it wasnt your fault

• but then he started acting weird. whenever you brought up peter hed be super antsy about it

• you- “i think he got into another fight or something”

• ned- “pFFT PETER? FIGHTING? no way,,, i got-i gotta go”

• so you figured that whatever peter was hiding, ned knew about,, which also hurt your feelings

• so you closed off

• and wow could the super family tell something was wrong

• wanda- “little stark, i can feel your sadness all the way to my room”

• sam/bucky/rhodes- “okay what’s the deal, we’ve played 5 rounds of fortnite and you havent once rage quit even though you’re doing terrible”

• tony- “kid, what’s wrong? everyone here can tell you’re not feeling great”

• nat- “cmon. ive given you 3 opportunities to kick my ass and you havent once complained about me going easy?”

• thor- “lady y/n what is causing you distress? not once have you smiled, i even wore my hair in pigtails,,, and that seems to always do the trick”

• and you gave the same response every time “‘m just tired” “lots of homework”

• they noticed you werent going out on weekends anymore

• so tony figured that your friend group and you were having some Stuff

• pep gave him an idea of meeting his new prodigy

• now tony knew it’d be kinda sus because peter went to midtown but he figured that if the kid kept his mask on it’d be fine

• “dad i don’t wanna see another one of your weird maid robots”

• “wha- no i want you to meet someone”

• “dad college isn’t for another 2 years. if it’s your friend from MIT-“

• then right before your eyes was the insect boy that youve been admiring through the internet

• needless to say

• your jaw dripped

• “y/n meet spiderling, spiderling meet my daughter y/n stark”

• *seconds pass*

• “i uh- oH- um- sp-spidERman, h-hi. biG fan of you- your work”

• *silence*

• you- “oH dad diD you hear th-that? moM is calling mE”

• tony- “what?? pep wouldve called on the interco-“

• spiderman- “y/n”

• you- SHOOK TO THE CORE BECAUSE YOU KNEW THAT VOICE. THAT WAS THE VOICE THAT SOUNDED LIKE HONEY BUT COULD CUT YOU DEEPER THAN ANY WEAPON IN YOUR HOUSE

• you- “p-peter???”

• tony- *shocked pikachu face* “you know each other???”

• you- “so-something like that yeah”

• peter takes off his mask

• “ohmygodpeterisspiderman”

• “ohmygodyourlastnameisntsmith”

• tony- “im gonna let you guys figure this out” *walks backward slowly*

*insert silence*

• you- “so this is what you were hiding, huh?” with a cold tone

• “IM HIDING? YOU LIED ABOUT YOUR WHOLE HOME LIFE TO NED AND I”

• *yelling at each other for another minute. even though you couldnt hear what the other is saying*

• you- *yelling loudest “I DIDNT WANT YOU TO SEE ME DIFFERENTLY OKAY”

• peter- “you really thought id do that?” (heartbreaking voice)

• you- “i- once i got to know you, i knew you wouldnt but i was scared. i didn’t know how to tell you. for once in my life i had found someone my age who liked ME for ME. not for my name or money or my dad. and i didn’t want to change that. i’m sorry i didn’t tell you sooner”

• peter- “... i get what you mean. after ben died everyone gave me that look. except you and ned.”

• you- “why didn’t you tell me”

• peter- “everyone i love or ever cared about dies. my parents and then my uncle ben. so once i got my abilities i knew that the risk was even higher and i didn’t want to put you in that position. i wanted to keep you safe. but it seems like you know how to handle yourself” (referring to the fact that you grew up with THE EARTHS MIGHTIEST HEROS)

• y/n- “so how come ned found out?”

• peter *scratches back of neck* “well- he- i- May let him in my room and i happen to be crawling on the ceiling in my suit and he dropped the death star” *head hangs in shame*

• you had to giggle at that i mean CMON

• you stepped closer to him

• “pete you’re my best friend. you can tell me anything okay?”

• “no more secrets?”

• “no more secrets”

• and you both pinky promise and your thumbs “kiss” bc IF THEY ITS THE ULTIMATE UNBREAKABLE VOW DONT @ ME

• peter parker gives you the biggest hug that maKES YOUR HEART JUMP BC PHYSICAL CONTACT WITH A PERSON AS PRETTY AS HIM MAKES YOUR HEART FEEL A CERTAIN WAY

• but you wrapped your arms around his neck and enjoyed the moment

• wow he is really cozy

• * the avengers are watching from the cameras in awe*

• led to MANY questions at dinner

• and so everything went back to “normal”

• it wasn’t until you went to bed that night that you realized peter said the L word

• WHAT

• so much for no secrets

taglist: @silver-winter-wolf @emmmmszy @everythingaboutnothingsstuff @rexorangecouny @wishiwasanavenger @marjoherbo @nologinisoksothatsit @mindset-jupiter @hpnjrph @soup238

some favs/mutrals: @h-osterfield @starksparker @stuckonspidey @sunshinehollandd @keepingupwiththeparkers @hey-marlie @spyder-bites

[ahappydnp]

Q&A thoughts

I typed as I watched so they are incoherent at best :)

[[MORE]]

Lots of yelling *am old*

OH SHIT THERE HE IS. Ripped jeans. Am dead. he PRETTY

Already a British/American joke

He’s so charming ;__;

Tony discourse 4 minutes in. Bingo stamp

Of COURSE he bought an expensive ass feeder

Merch #spon Bingo stamp

Vase talk

YouTube Dinosaur. Bingo stamp

Favorite video? Literally no answer… Phil…

Coming out (did not expect that)- didn’t want to share too much of private life. Now is the right time <3

BITCH HE SAID IM GAY 🏳️‍🌈

-So much screaming-

Best Vidcon- first one. An actual real answer? Interesting!

Oh god, of course he’s into Anthony 🙄 You’ve already got the original

He’s so cute I’m gonna die

Sayfiya <3333 YESS

Instagram feed- slime and soap carving. Getting into the AP safe zone

Most fun video- Tour of my brain. :)) yes! Such a good video!Creative phil!

Coming out ;__; he’s proud <3

Dan mention #1

How did it feel after?- He appreciated the reactions and it made him happy :)

England question -___- cmon.

He somehow made it charming? How?

NORTHERN PHIL <33

Advice for future Youtuber question that literally everyone’s heard. Generic answer. It’s fine. I appreciate him talking about creativity. Making a difference to one human :)) we get it, the youths ™️ want to be famous

Something that he hopes never changes- He does not give a SHIT about this question

Balancing- not uploading as much as everyone. Not worrying if somethings not on your channel. There’s always something going on 👀

New projects!! BEECH!!! EXCUSE ME?!?! A script?!?! FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK YES!!

Dream project- Did Phil fucking Lester just make a robot phil joke?!?!? My fourth wall!

Big Movie ;__; creations from my brain made from other people :))

Looking at community content-Please no.

He likes phan art (shout out to all the lovely artist<3).

He GETS it! Oh god, yes. Yes, its not for him. Thank you. I love him

Dogbaiting- corgi. Bingo

He’s fully dogbaiting right now.

Did anyone add breeding talk? Cause that should have been a bingo card.

He wants to give the usernames a shout out ;__; he specifically asked because he knew people cared

Sock content- waffles Bingo stamp

“Phils waffles” (I’d buy it)

Awkward interactions (bingo stamp) - sitting on the train. Lady rubbing his leg is asleep. Boyfriend wanted to FITE (he hates the hets)

He’s got back sweat. Hot.

Stranger Things (bingo card #7). He’s only on episode 3?? WOT?? They don’t binge?

Candy (bingo stamp)

Did he almost mention his age? Did he almost acknowledge he was an adult?

Creative Block- talk to someone. Going for a walk.

Dan mention #2

Tour (bingo stamp)- warm fuzzy feeling :) he genuinely liked the tour

DVD spon

Wanted to quit?- the car insurance advert. Don’t shame bb phil!

This was actually a genuine answer? I’m surprised! Go phil!

Have I mentioned how charming he is?

Social Anxiety- He doesnt wanna give unqualified advice. He’s keeping it safe and saying the same thing he did in ii and the AP videos. I can respect that. He doesnt want to pretend he has the answers, and I like that he’s not pretending to be a professional

Gaming Channel??? Hiatus- dan wanted to take a break. Have a pause and think about the future. “We haven’t sat down and thought about it.”

“people like watching me and dan doing things together” Bitch.

It might come back as something else?? We haven’t properly sat down to talk about it.

Try new things with Dan

He doesn't know

He saw a pig

Tie Die Frappuccino mention! (Keelin Bingo stamp). Stop stalking me Phil

Generic life advice. He’s trying.

Very shy teenager. Saying really weird things that came to his head

Guilty pleasure- cooking videos. (Me too phil!)

Brownies! (We have that recipe in our cookbook! My bf is obsessed)

Favorite merch?- candle (where’s mine beech?!?! Still waiting!)

“Perfect Phil smell”- thinking pure thoughts… mhmmm

Essence of me- Phil bath water coming soon! (I’d buy it)

Favorite tour moments- New Zealand! Rolling hills! He wants to go back :)

Living on the bus- living with 20 people. He misses the crew and genuinely liked them :)

Vegas trip (Bingo stamp). He doesnt wanna talk about going to Vegas hahah he shut that down real quick

What inspires you- other people and what they’re creating. Consuming creative people :) PJ! Yes!

JENNAAA!!!! YES BEEECCHH!!!! FUCK!!! I’m so happy!!!!

House decorating shows ( 👀 🤔 )

He watched it with his parents (Kath <333)

Mental Health and Social Media- every time he says “that’s a thing”, hes not into the topic.

He’s not trying to see beautiful people (bitch have you seen a mirror??)

Not into political stuff/ negative space

He likes twitter

He says no one calls him when we know he has weekly calls with Kath- smh we know you’re a mamas boy

Airport fails- phil austrialian accent (precious). Wash bag on the wing. Hahah omg! “Did someone yeet their toothbrush?”

Delayed for 2 hours.

They found it funny (dorks)

He’s legit funny and I love him <3

Hike (bingo stamp)

Dan mention #3

He’s pale (bingo stamp)

Tiny dogs (bingo stamp)

(Y’all are on it today. Called it!)

He’s most proud of the tours :) the DVD.

Kath cried :’))

He likes his fans (bingo stamp)

How much money is in your wallet? $42 (you know damn well what we meant)

He’s rating dogs

TikTok? Am old.

Bryony made him download it

RIP Vine

KATHRYN!!!

That was enough for her. :( no more Kath

She would make a great youtuber (yes, she would)

Collab he wants to do- Safiya, JENNA!!!!!!

Ever filmed a video but not uploaded?-Personality test

Im going to shit. He didn’t upload the MBTI because it was “boring”

He’s an INFP. People don’t know shit about shit. I wanna hear more!

*cries in psychology degrees*

Benedict Cumberbatch would play him in a movie

Cheekbones. Thank you for acknowledging your own hotness

“There is never too much candy” (you really made me type that huh?)

Dancing- he’s not gonna dance

TATINOF dance was enough (poor uncoordinated bb)

He submitted a pitch and it got rejected :( give me their address, I just wanna talk.

In conclusion, he pretty and charming and kind and thoughtful and wonderful and amazing

[bladekindeyewear]

Boots reads Homestuck Epilogue(s) Part 5 - Meat Page 7

==>

Okay, time for Rose and Dirk to talk delicious politics or something.

Heh, customary show-end riots.

Rose, stop causing all of us undue alarm.

Ascending? Is she going to fade out into a concept or something???

Oh shit, Dirk’s doing something similar.  Some sort of inevitability once God-Tier is reached or some such.

Dirk has a solution to the problem in the works.  That’s... well, Rose already cautioned that that could be ominous.  I hope it doesn’t involve decapitation.  Or robot bodies, or turning her into an omniscient cueball or something.

==>

Okay, stage play time.  I can see a weird-seeming text color choice for Caliborn down below, hm.  Time to read down to there...

Ah, the classic finale-callback thumbs down.  Nice.

...yeah, reinforcing the point he was trying to make a little less explicitly with his earlier finale of Homestuck that Lord English had really just, sort of, trapped them in this narrative that their ultimate reward would be to escape, realizing it never really mattered too much compared to their own long lives and happiness or something.

==>

Epilogue TWO??????  D:

Okay now it’s, like, Andrew commenting isn’t it.

Oh shit, it DOES suck them up and trap them? Huh. That explains how Jade was dealt with, I’d forgotten. Also because it was one of the huge goddamn unanswered fucking hugepoints that made it seem like a slap in the face when we were told it didn’t matter and-- yeah okay let me just keep reading.

Huh, broken glasses.

And, phew; the ages it takes is from an OUTSIDE perspective.  Let’s see what it is from an inside perspective...

==>

Jaaaane!!! :D

Okay let’s read about Janey.

Mhmm, that’s not that surprising... Dirk knew that Karkat was going to run against Jane, but Jane didn’t, even though Dirk was ostensibly “working” for her.  There’s definitely a plan here.  Maybe it involves Jane and Karkat smooching publicly at the end.  ...No, that’s just my wishful imagination talking, isn’t it.

Oh my god she’s screaming into a pillow at hearing she has competition.  That’s adorable.

YES, JANE.  UNDERESTIMATE KARKAT.  YOU WILL FALL IN LOVE WITH HIM LIKE EVERYONE ELSE (though probably platonically).  It does upset me that they’ve taken this long to really get acquainted, though; I’ve argued for years that their personalities are naturally compatible as the straight men for all their friends’ bullshit.

In fact, Jane is pretty sure that Karkat Vantas would probably literally burst into flame if too many people happened to look at him at the same time, like a vampire walking out into the sun.

Yes, but he’d get over it.  And be a flaming president or something.

In fact, Jane cannot remember a single conversation she’s ever had with him that wasn’t about the economy. She thinks back to one time at John’s eighteenth birthday when Dave engaged her in a rigorous and rather one-sided debate about deregulation and the failure of “neoliberal austerity measures” until Karkat had to come over and put his hands over his roommate’s mouth to make him stop talking.

Oh my FUCKING god, it’s true.  Dave’s appropriately liberal in the modern, Krugman-esque, statistically grounded way.  Karkat has my vote already.

She’d be happy to accept a graceful, temporary defeat and let Karkat play president for a couple of years. After all, unlike her, he was not immortal.

Hey fuck you.  Also, why the FUCK haven’t they used one of the myriad likely ways to extend Karkat’s lifespan basically indefinitely yet???  Heck, JANE could probably do it with Life powers if she crawled back out of her own butt!  We already know the Condesce could extend other trolls’ lifespans with weird troll powers so Life powers are almost certainly enough to suffice.  >:(

Ohhh, so maybe Jane is just, like... slightly traumatized by trolls? And thus a little tiny bit predisposed against trusting them cause of the Condesce? :(

Interesting how she views her past reliance on / pursuance of Jake as something that made her “weak” specifically.

Okay, I’m getting a slightly uncomfortable vibe that Jane is willing to almost play at seduction with Jake falsely to get his endorsement on--

And she’s willing to do more than that, too.

Okay FUCK, JANE.  GET YOURSELF UNDER CONTROL.  I’m starting to believe the shittalking the others have given about you!  You’d better shape up by the end of this epilogue or what have you.

==>

Okay, trapped John can hear the other three through the walls of their prison or something.

Conversation and musings, conversation and musings.....

Wait, Jade LIVES with Dave and Karkat in that SAME HOUSE and they didn’t even mention it??!??  What is even up with their thing.

Heh, John’s thinking he really could have used a nice kismesis riling him up to better himself.  That’s what they’re for, really.

There there, John.

==>

Oh my fucking GOD, Jane rolls with supply side economics???  TAKE.  HER.  DOWN.

And Jade is just... here?  Huh.

Yeah they DEFS weren’t listening.

JADE: especially when JADE: there are much better things we could all be doing with our mouths.....

HOLY SHIT.  HOLY SHIT.  JADE IS SO INTO EITHER OF THEM THAT THEY CAN’T TAKE IT, CAN THEY.  THAT’S FUCKING AMAZING OH MY GOD

Her tail swishes from side to side

SINCE WHEN DOES SHE HAVE A FUCKING TAIL HOW IS THAT SUDDENLY CANON

I’M NOT MAD IM JUST SURPRISED

Wasn’t that something that the ask-responses from Andrew said she canonically DIDN’T have or what the fuck

Since I guess it wasn’t confirmed IN CANON he just decided he liked it enough to offer it here or???? I DON’T KNOW????

Wow why am I all worked up by this all of a sudden.  It’s just transferring from her earlier line isn’t it.

three of her bras

Okay no nevermind Andrew’s just fucking with us.

...Even though this can probably still be considered canon.  Which only makes how he’s fucking with us work even better, really.  I mean, why WOULDN’T he lob this at us on the ten year anniversary and watch us squirm, really.  There’s no incentive not to.

--oh wait wait never mind reading further these are just bras from different days she threw over the couch.  PHEW.  I thought for a second that we were dealing with dog anatomy stuff that would REQUIRE multiple bras on her.  Jesus.  I wonder if Andrew intentionally phrased things so some people would think that for a minute.

JADE: also you know trolls dont actually have two dicks dave thats an offensive stereotype

Pffffff

Wait, is it that Dave and Karkat’s relationship isn’t quite full-hearts sexual and Jade is incessantly shipping them?? :O

because that’d be hilarious too??  --*reads*

YESSSS JADE BEING SUPER STAT WHIZ WITH HER SUPER PARTOMNIDOG SPACE BRAIN YES

The thing about Jade Harley is that she’s not as good at personal things as she is at other things. Like science, or mastering fraymotifs, or kissing, the last of which she has definitely put a lot of levels into over the past few years because, well, what else are you supposed to do with immortal godhood once you hit the age where the dog hormones start kicking into overdrive? 

f uck

dog hormones

i’m wheezing

Alright, Jade’s springing a thorough relationship talk on them.  That’s cool.  Also she’s throwing statistics in there and I LOVE that now that Jade is older we’re reinforcing just how scary science smart she is, I can’t wait to see other people roleplaying her properly because of it too.

...Yeah Jade would definitely date a chess couple

Jade sighs and crawls closer. She takes one of Karkat’s hands in hers.

JADE: i think wed all work good together

AAAAAAAA :D :D :D

JADE: and i think weve been dancing around that for years now JADE: i wanna try dating for real KARKAT: HAVE YOU EVER CONSIDERED KARKAT: SORRY IF WHAT I’M ABOUT TO SAY TOTALLY BLOWS YOUR MIND KARKAT: DATING A SINGLE PERSON, FOR MORE THAN HALF A SWEEP, FOR REASONS OTHER THAN INITIATING THE CONCUPISCENT EXCHANGE OF FLUIDS?

PFFFFFFFFFFFFF OH MY FUCKING GOD THIS IS PERFECT

Jade being

literally the thirstiest person in this ENTIRE CAST OF CHARACTERS

to the point that everyone’s calling her out on it

in something that’s virtually goddamn canon

holy fucking shit I love everything.  I love life.  Living in a universe where this hilarious shit happens is fun.

....pFFFF JADE DIDN’T KNOW OBAMA WAS REAL THIS IS AMAZING

Ooh, dueling god-tier powers for petty reasons.

OH NO DICK DRAWINGS ARE LIKELY IMMINENT

THAT OR A CHART

OR BOTH

...yeah her hair would get everywhere, wouldn’t it.

yes make fun of ship names some more

What Jade leaves in her wake is not quite the emotional scorched-earth situation that she was going for, but a few of her needles have definitely gotten under some skin. Dave and Karkat both stare after her, silently caught in their own private rationalization spirals.

So this whole time Jade’s been all “JUST KISS ALREADY” and they’ve been all “what no” and now she’s just laid it all out in the open and left them to it.  Yeah that sounds about like what would’ve happened.

Aaaand of course, since this is Dave and Karkat, they just choose to stall some more and play video games.  Jade really DOES complete this relationship with her pushing them to accept reality and stop downplaying their own feelings and self-esteem and all.  But that’s what I thought would happen BEFORE I even read any epilogue stuff so I’m biased.

==>

Pff, Vriska time.

You’ve now got two bitches of either gender at your side

Vriska, shame!  Don’t use that kind of language!!

Yep, this version of her didn’t learn her lesson and is still pretty much completely delusional.

Alright, Real Terezi™ is still flying out in the abyss trying to scoop Vriska out of this jam, cool, cool.

Flailing and spinning, screaming, not being able to see the final event or whatever-- someone save her already we know it’s gonna happen!

JOHN: Emerge from the juju.

Oh.  Well, that’s uncomfortably in line with earlier presumably-discredited theories.  About John saving Vriska from the black hole the Green Sun left in its wake and all.  :|

Yawns too wide and snaps in half?  The moment he was dreaming about?

==>

Oh hai Jake.  This really IS the perfect time to get to see some attempted-exploitative discomfort between Jane and you.  I mean that!  The narrative timing is pretty hilarious.

The sunset has turned the head offices of Crockercorp into a shimmering glass monolith—a beacon, if you will, of the future, visible for miles in every direction.

Jane probably likes to think about it that way at least.

Wow, Jane REALLY sounds like she needs to be knocked down a peg or seven.

The whole place is candlelit, and Jane is reclining on her desk, sprawled out like a lounge singer on a grand piano.

OH MY FUCKING GOD JANE STOP BEING A SLIMEBAG!!!! D: D: D:

Thank you, Jake, for coming through and tanking this.

This is not really the kind of conversation you initiate if you’re looking to extract a sexual deal out of someone. It is, however, the kind of conversation that you might have with a childhood friend who has become somewhat emotionally estranged from you.

THANK FUCKING GOD.  Jane has been saved from herself for the moment.

Okay I see a whole bunch of paragraphs of black text down below just as these two are likely coming together for a kiss.  Uh oh.

...Yep, kiss there.  And, uh...

Okay whew, most of it is Jake privately soliloquy-ing to the narrative about the circumstances leading up to this. I can deal with that.

...Oh my god he keeps thinking of Dirk while getting in close to Jane.  This is gonna blow up in his face isn’t it.

Reading on....

--Ah, yeah, he just realizes he’s more into Dirk I guess.  Ouch.  Ouch, Jane.

DIRK: Were you nice to him? JANE: Well, I... DIRK: I told you, you can’t be nice to Jake. JANE: ...

PPFffffffffff

DIRK: Why don’t you leave Jake to me?

Now ain’t that telling?

Ooh, getting down to plot business with Rose.

==>

Back to John.  I see a bit that says “Listen” there, is he going to hear Vriska screaming? Or is Terezi going to pick her up? Since, like, I mean she has the jetpack and has been searching for her longer and stuff.

Yep, big ol’ LE tantrum.  Though alt!Calliope seems at least as much at fault for the end of the universe as him, if not moreso.

Ah, right, Andrew wanted us to THINK he’d hear Vriska screaming just so he could troll us like that.  Makes more sense, anyway.

Huh, the Juju just pops away.

OW.  Down a spare Rose, just like that, huh?  Probably part of why main Rose knew what the plan was supposed to be for all this.

Ah right, can’t use your Green Sun powers here, Jade.

OW.  Another quasi-doomed side-character death.

Yep, you have to make a tough, leaderly decision and let go.  :C  --Oh crap, you saved her body.  Are you gonna put the ring there or what, I’m not sure where that’s going plotways.

Pff, the whole fight going south just due to John losing his glasses... that’s pretty funny from a perspective.

Oh huh, real ghost Tavros gets nuked.

Oh shit, Meenah’s going in!  Don’t die, I actually care about this version of you!!

--Ah, thrown out and fate unclear, that’s a bit better than clear death.

Hm, Davepeta vs English round two?  I wonder what the purpose of all of this really is, anyway, beyond just a sense that some only implied-wrapped-up things are being actually wrapped up?  This whole Meat arc?  Is Candy going to be ultimately more important to everyone, as was part of the point, or?  Huhhm.

Final Round!!

Hammer buffet!

Slight obligatory feelings allusion via hammer!

Oh no! VORE!!! D:

DAVEPETASPRITE^2: B33 < wrow you almost got vored to death

Phew, avoided

Ow, another decapitation.  There’s a killing blow and being trapped forever in a black hole for LE to look forward to, though.  Weren’t there theories about him being trapped forever at the center of that black hole or whatever?  Huh.  I mean there WAS the garbage disposal that his metaphorical Jigsaw-head gets stuck in early in the comic after all.

Alright, Davepeta sticks him in there?  Cool.

Yeah, you just had to remind us that he’s going to be plunging into his dead sister’s gaping hole, didn’t you? >:|

Davepeta. How they were so unfettered and brave. How they sacrificed themselves by flying right into the black hole like...

Like a fucking piece of garbage, you can almost hear Dave saying. May God rest his soul.

Yup.  Closing another callback.  Why is it silent, though?  Did the black hole stop sucking now that it’s gotten almost everything but John, or is it just his blackout?  I mean, is the end of everything just a thing that “happens” (which is still pretty fine, Paradox Space had a pretty good run), or did it just stop, or is it yet to be resolved or re-John-creates-Paradox-Space’s-beginning-because-hes-the-only-thing-left-constituted if he inexplicably doesn’t die from his heroic wounds or?  And Terezi definitely didn’t go flying around Paradox Space’s dying remains just to get sucked in too, right?  I definitely haven’t seen the whole picture yet I guess.

==>

Alright, back to Rose... actually this post’s getting long so I’ll cut here and keep going in another post.

[xanthicantag]

alright bro im gonna do all the ask so. U Know You're Doin Em Too

Hot read more since there’s so maaaaaany

1. if you were to have Hanahaki disease, what flowers would you cough up?

I feel like this is entirely based on who i’m feeling the one sided love for? (I googled  Hanahaki disease and i’m all about that shit no doubt there)  But like, maybe daffodils? 

2. if someone were to catch Hanahaki disease for you, what flowers would they cough up?

Uh Roses motherfucker, you’re welcome

3. if you were any historic trope, what would you be? (i.e., the knight, the town baker, the witch of the forest, etd.)

Ok so like on the one hand I love lances, so fucking much, so I’m like big into Knights for that and like protecting people (and/or a beautiful prince cause like, you know), but I also really love the idea of just being like, a traveling fighter of some kind, leading a troupe of loveable idiots or being in a troupe as a loveable idiot.  I want to be Iron Bull is what I’m trying to say I guess????? or like, Krem? who knows

4. tell us about your ideal battle outfit.

Ok so I’m torn again.  Cause protection and ease of movement are super important, so like a breastplate and some kind of back protection, maybe a shield?  or maybe a sick gauntlet arm like Ike from Fire Emblem cause he knows what’s up, and then some minor leg armor to keep the front of my thighs and calves safe and like a shield since those fuck am I right??  On the other hand: If you look like a Thot, the enemy is distracted and an easy target.  I’m talking chainmail crop top, plate armor booty shorts, stupid looking heel shoes(?) for maximum thot energy, and of course a whip, either that i use or just have for the thot energy.

5. what would you be a god/goddess of and what would people sacrifice to you?

I think like, a minor deity that helps people make small to mediumish choices (i.e. talk the left or right path, call or don’t call this person), and then like, a cute little charm that people just kinda crush or burn before asking about the choice feels good, feels organic.

6. name five iconic quotes that make you feel things.

Now, I don’t know a lot of quote to be honest, but here’s some paraphrased stuff:

“Now that larping exists dnd is like, not the least cool thing to do”- Travis McElroy

“Yeah I have a pickle allergy, what about it *Pickle eating sounds*” -Me, often

“I fucked your dad” -Me during a quiplash game?  And often yeah I’ll admit this

I don’t remember what’s said, but the scene in the Count of Monte Cristo where he just shows off all his sick skills to be like “Yeah I’ll murder the fuck out of your homeboy if he tries to step up to me”.

“All Magicians are inherently inclined to kill” -That unraveled about Megaman robots who get sentience

7. scythe, battle axe, broad sword, spear or trident?

Ok so like, Scythe for formal occasions/when I want to just look good cause I think their a sexy as hell weapon, at me if you want to be I know I’m right.  Battle Axes are cool and like, really useful during a siege since you can easily bust stuff down with it and it lets you cut spears in half so you look dope as hell, like, Hector of Ostia if you’re out there, yes you’re correct.   Broad Swords are like, just in general really good, you can use it in a duel, a battle, a coronation, magic rituals if you’re really feeling fancy, the list is just endless, a real classic all purpose weapon.  Spears are for fucking losers, fuck you if you use a spear sword fight me like a fucking real fighter or get out of here none of this reach bullshit.  Tridents are like spears but just, inherently sexier?  You know?  Like 1 point is stupid and boring, but 3?  that’s some good shit.  But really fuck all these weapons whips are lances are where it’s at yes feel free to at me again.

8. what combination of natural scents would you use as perfume?

Now this i have like, actually no idea for, but like, just tons of flowers.  I just take like a fistful of flowers and rub them on my face.  

9. ancient scrolls or leather-bound books?

Oh you know I’m about that leather-bound book life!  Fuck A scroll, that is just a piece of paper that is going to tear and be illegible in like 5 years.  A nice bound book though?  *Chefs kiss*

10. describe yourself as if you were a storm.

A summer rain.  It comes in quickly and is gone by the turn of the hour.  A brief respite during the dry season, and gone before it can become a disaster. 

11. what type of flower (other than a rose) would you offer someone you were trying to court?

First of all op, get the fuck off my back Roses or nothing.  Secondly a big sunflower.

12. honey in milk or cinnamon in tea?

Um, neither??????????????????

13. cabin in the woods, apartment in the city or mansion in the suburbs?

Honestly an apartment in the city would be nice but like, living in the woods is the prime chance to be a local mystery.

14. curtains of beads or lace?

Probably lace?  Do beads block light?

15. vocal or instrumental music?

I am a big fan of instrumental

16. describe your ideal fantasy outfit

Step one, big cape, it doesn’t touch the ground while on my shoulders but goes about mid calf.  Step two, leather armor, it’s light and easy to move in, and provides good protection.  Step three, Mask, nothing like flashy, just a plain black mask, preferably a full mask if i’ve got some magic to see with not my eyes, other wise like a typical masquerade mask

17. of all the fantasy races to ever exist, which one would you be?

Fuck.  This is so hard.  I want to be, so many.  No you know what, fuck it.  I wanna be a Dragonborn Tiefling hybrid, I’m talking cool horns, I’m talking sweet tail, you already know I can spit literal fire out of my face.  Fucking try and get at me I dare you.

18. hard candy, fruit preserves or spice cake?

I love hard candy to just suck on, but my teeth do not.

19. show us an a picture of your ideal crown.

if you don’t think this crown fucks, get out of my face

20. tying your hair up using ribbon, yay or nay?

I’ve had my hair long enough for that like once, and I don’t really like tying my hair up tbh

21. an evening in the forest with elves, a night in the caves with vampires or a morning in the garden with fae?

Um.  Bold of you to say I’m not hitting up all these parties???  Like def vampires first since the elven party is advertised to go for like 5 hours, but we all know it goes on for like 4 months and I can’t party that long as a mortal you know.  And like you hit the fae up last since you literally are gonna be stuck there the rest of your life after one (1) round of truth or dare

22. tell us, in detail, about a curse a witch would put on you.

Like, in all honesty the biggest thing a witch could do to me via curse would just be to make my right arm like full unusable.  Not gone or broken.  Just like, it’s slow, I can’t always get it to fully hold onto something so it drops everything, there’s always a small feeling of discomfort, not pain just a minor annoyance, in the knuckles of the hand.

23. talking with sylphs or singing with nymphs?

I get kicked out of the nymph singing area after four seconds of

24. mint, rosemary, basil or sage?

I fucking go wild for the smell of basil don’t even try me

25. favorite childhood story? (doesn’t have to be a fairy tale)

I remembered Inkheart recently and like, I honestly really liked that book

26. tell us about an experience you’ve had that seemed unreal or supernatural. (doesn’t have to be scary)

Sophomore year of college, I realized that all the people around me were people I actually enjoyed spending time with, and it just felt so weird to be there after all the just nonsense that had happened up till then

27. would you rather have poison or healing ointment in your traveling pack?

healing duh?  You think I’d ever remember i have the poison one? nope not me!

28. tell us three sayings that you live by.

Try and be a little nicer, unless they really don’t deserve it.  Walk away sometimes.  Eat food and don’t think about it.

29. vials or mason jars?

Oh get me those vials baby!

30. describe your ideal masquerade ball outfit (mask included).

OH HELL YES.  Get me that suit, it’s a sweet dark red with rose colored vest underneath, the jacket and pants have flower vines on them that 100% connect to a big ass rose on the back of the jacket.  The mask is more or less this guy:

31. splashing around in a river with mermaids or flying through the sky with harpies?

I can literally swim any day so let’s fly

32. what would you end up in the dungeon for?

Ok i didn’t understand this one at first so I’m keeping my initial reply below and the real one is: You know I beat some like high ranking knight or minor noble in a duel to humiliate them and no i didn’t think it through so here i am lol.

3 things: A talking magic weapon (Probably a sword but i’m down for other options).  A certain someone is going in and I’m not letting him go in without someone to keep him safe.  There’s dragon eggs that work like the Eragon dragon eggs and I am already waist deep in dead enemies getting one of those babies.

33. if you were a fairy, what color would your wings be?

Take a wild fucking guess

34. if you could have any magical item, what would it be?

God this is so hard, but I think a magic flower that when you pluck one if its petals you can undo a recent event, up to like ten minutes or so.

35. what song would the bards sing about you when you passed by?

I’ll say the Death of Me by Meg Myers

36. would you rather be a pirate or a king/queen?

God that’s hard,  Like yeah pirates are cool but i’d love to be royalty and just get to do good shit for the people and also not have scurvy.

37. would you spend more time in the field of flowers, the tavern, the docks or the marketplace?

Hmmm, I think the Tavern as like the number 1, and then a tie for docks and field, and the marketplace in last since i hate crowded areas i need to buy things in

38. would you have a painting of yourself?

Only if I ever ride a dragon and then have a painting to immortalize the moment, and only if the dragon helps me paint it

39. what skill are you famous for?

I mean, people know I sword fight, fight fight, and program, so like, those?  and I guess my sick dnd skills

40. if you could live any fairy tale, which one would you?

Fuck if I can think of one!

41. stained glass windows or fairy lights?

Ok Stained glass windows literally slap so like, you already know

[the-kipsabian]

Please do this at your convenience but like. Can you put me together a playlist of what you consider to be Danny's best vocals? Or his best work in general? Nsp, starbomb, skyhill? I just want a good starting place

dude, honestly tho? i would be absolutely honored to do this

k so aaaAAAA lets start with. skyhill i guess since thats the first one on the line? (technically i think northern hues is the first band he was in that published stuff but i havent listened to it myself so i dont knoooow anything about it other than what i just read from a comment on a youtube video and that is that it definitely sounds like the kind of music dan would have made in his stoner days which probably was true lol)

skyhill has a lot of really good chill songs tho? i personally really love ‘the city as you walk’ and ‘black & white’ the most i think - both are like lyrically really nice to listen to and the chorus especially in black & white is just hnggg. its so good tbh. but really any skyhill songs are good! they arents. as advanced vocally as his later stuff obviously, since this band is like. 12 years old at this point at least but its nice chill stuff with honestly really nice but simple lyrics if you want some good stuff to listen to as a break from all the dick jokes and whatnots that nsp and starbomb have to offer tho!

starbomb is honestly a bit more difficult tho cause its like. much more arin-heavy with the raps and such? but! lets not have that fool us cause there are still plenty of quality songs with pretty vocals by dan tho! ..also hahaa i think its needless to say but hey heres a heavy nsfw warning for these songs

‘mega marital problems’ is a personal favorite, mostly cause dan does like. three different voices in this one? and its hilarious. also if you listen in the chorus parts, you can hear the layered singing he does and its honestly just so good mmmm

‘crasher-vania’ i feel like im gonna betray myself if i dont put this on the list for multiple reasons. 1. its EASILY the most popular song on the album. 2. its freaking fantastic, with the story and the lyrics. 3. the chorus, again? (as dan most often did the chorus work on the first album!) it sounds beautiful and especially in the second chorus, you can hear him emoting it out with the lyrics. 4. the background music. if you stop to listen to it, its honestly so good? like, its very simple, yes, but it works and it just sounds awesome. always brings a smile on my face to listen to those tasty keyboard jams ~

im gonna add ‘regretroid’ here too, as its a personal favorite too. but also his voice. goes so high? and it sounds nice?? also this song is just banging with a female feature vocalist! which is real nice!!

as for the second starbomb album! im separating it a little cause woo the boys honestly improve a lot between the albums (which is crazy cause theres only like. a year? year and a half at max? between these two albums so i cant even think how good the third one is gonna sound with five years between albums and how good current nsp sounds lol)

‘smash!’ i gotta mention cause its like. the single song from the album i feel like? also cause mark is in it! and they all sound rad and yeah it doesnt have exactly too much singing but what it has sounds. so freaking good tho mmmmm i lov

‘glass joe’s title fight’ is a must on this tho cause like. this is the one starbomb song thats so much more sing than rap heavy and hngggg its so good

‘god of no more’ okay but. dans vocals in this are gorgeous. and its a super fun song too. so its a win-win

and as a personal favorite, im just gonna throw ‘robots in need of disguise’ here cause i love this song. no other reason really lol

and thennnnn we arrive to the glory that is ninja sex party! i could be a little shit and just say to listen to all lol, but im gonna try to pick things here and there among my favorites! trying to also go by album order with these ~ also nsfw warning for this but idk what you expect with a band called ninja sex party tho

‘nsp theme song’ i mean. come on. you gotta start somewhere so lets go with this lol. and its hilarious (and kinda cute but maybe thats just me lol) and the lyrics are just. well what you’d expect with the name of the song. its very simple vocal-wise, but other than that, grade a stuff tho

‘dinosaur laser fight’ is just a classic, so here you go. its wonderful and weird and animated by arin so aaaaaa!

..also i wanna add ‘objects of desire’ here cause this song is like. lyrical genius tbh. its fucking weird but its also like a ballad so theres some nice vocal stuff here too so yay. thingssssss

‘unicorn wizard’ i honestly wouldnt be true to myself if i didnt add my FIRST nsp song to this list, the one that got me listening to these fools cause mmm. this song is ridiculous and but also lyrics? are so good?? idk how that combo works out but it does and its beautiful. also dannys vocals in the chorus are mmmmm. so solid

‘fyi i wanna f your a’ im not even ashamed to say this is one of my faves tbh. its just. the glorious kind of weird and this is like one of my favorite examples of how well these nerds write lyrics tho? also such a hard song to learn the lyrics tho, but its so worth it, trust me lol. aLSO DAN HARMONIES IN THE SECOND PART GIVE ME SO MUCH LIFE HOLY SHIT

‘let’s get this terrible party started’ gets a special mention cause of the badass jams tbh. also the lyric ‘its a ninja sex party party’ gets me every fucking time. even after five years of listening to this song lol

oooof attitude city is so hard to pick just few songs from tho aaaa. but, as ive done about three from every album so far, lets try that with this one too. tho honestly just. listen to the entirety of attitude city its so good mmm. but. lets start with what i personally feel is the most underrated song on the album, ‘peppermint creams’. i dont think i need to say more than holy shit the emotions tho? especially in the chorus cause mmm. my heart

‘attitude city’ gets here too tho cause like. im personally very nostalgic for this song as it was the first real hype i had for the album so yeah. also its honestly just a really good song. also the video. includes dancing. and we all should know how i feel about dan dancing so mmmMMM im biased as shit i admit it

‘cookies!’ i wanna put this here cause it shows the how stupidly versatile these nerds are with their songs, cause this is badass and silly cute at the same time and hngg. also visually? demon!dan is way too much of a guilty pleasure. judge me all you want i donT CARE

..also i just gotta mention ‘samurai abstinence patrol’ cause of the vocal work. and just cause this song was in progress for four years before this final form and its beautiful honestly. also ‘danny french kissed a girl like he was the king of versailles’ will never get old to me gosh

I SWEAR IM DONE WITH ATTITUDE CITY AFTER THIS but also ‘6969′ is a must to mention. its an eight and half minute song but its just. amazing at everything. beautiful jams and awesome vocals. its gorgeous tbh, a masterpiece

‘cool patrol’. first of all cause apparently i “traumatized” one of my friends by making him watch the video to this and yeah. this is vocally one of my absolute favorites from them tho, dan sounds amazing in both styles, and its just. so positive and cute and aaaaa. its just such an uplifting song i love it

‘danny don’t you know’ cause this one made my cry the first few times i listened to it and its just. so relatable. also fucking beautiful vocals tho and yes the lyrics are personal which makes it even more emotional song. hnggg i love this so much tho cause it just. goes from kind of a ballad to a more of a rock song and its amazing. development similar to the story its telling

‘first date’ i mean. i gotta put my current fave song of theirs here, right? RIGHT? personally i love this cause its just a positive song, in a way i guess, but it stays true to the original nsp style and the lyrics are just perfect for their song about dating tbh. especially with how it just keeps getting gradually weirder and weirder. its just perfection hnggg i love this song. so much. god its so good (honestly tho if you give me a lyric like ‘i’ll take you back to your place and we’ll craft the perfect alibi’ idk how you expect me, a thriller writer, not to absolutely love this song to hell and back)

‘courtship of the mermaid’ idk how you expect me to make a list without this. the emotions in the vocals of this song are beautiful and its, again, hilariously absurd. as a mermaid princess i highly approve of this song

‘mansion party’ its so sad there will probably never be a video of this song cause they want to film it in an actual mansion and so far they havent mentioned that they got a chance to do that so mmmm. cause this song is so fucking banging it deserves a video honestly. the chorus is like. one of the few things in this world that makes me wanna dance. and also theres so many genius lyrics in this that its just pure gold all the way through tbh (also how do you smoke champagne? asking for a friend)

one more i swear, but the whole cool patrol album is so good hngg. but! ‘smooth talkin’’! in all of its absurdity is a must to listen to. its just what the title says, about how smooth danny is with talking to ladies. im not gonna explain more just. it goes as well as you’d expect at this point

..this is already super long but hey did you know we are still missing the two cover albums tho??

‘everybody wants to rule the world’ this one makes me wanna cry every single time. its so nice and emotional and just. a+ vocals. its just beautiful

‘subdivisions’ idk what it is really with this song but these lyrics just fit together with dan’s voice so well its just. hnggg so gorgeous? i mean it might be cause its a rush song but also yeah. its so good

‘africa’ i mean i already told you, but his vocals are so nice in this and they fit into the style of the song so well. plus africa is a beautiful song to begin with so its a win-win really

‘pour some sugar on me’ cause oh boy my pal isnt this song just banging mmmmmmMMMMM

and for the finale! ‘heat of the moment’! like. everything about this song is just really good okay? the vocals and especially the music itself is like mmm i love it?? also the cowbell. idk what it is with that in this song, but it just. it sounds so good with dan’s vocals and aaaaa

..have i rambled enough? is this a good list?? literally just mmm anything from any of these bands is a good listen, these are just mostly my personal faves or what i feel like would be the best representations of what they are about!

[blxebxy-spxcemxn]

SO HERE’S THE IDEA’S THAT ME AND @stcrmclcud got done

Some sort of game,, idk yet,,, doesn’t know their inside one

Different problems for each character (Missing parts, glitching parts, + parts they don’t need ect )

Idk why but. Stan as some kind of stitched Frankenstein’s Monster-esque furry.

Just. a fucking DOG with different parts. And it’s Stan.

Kenny has,,, skeleton bits MAybe,,

Cartman cld have like. An error or glitch on one of his eyes, kind of in reference to the many theories that he has Kenny’s eye??

Sobs idc if my girl heidi isnt in the au but. If she is. Flowers. She’s just covered in flowers. Any blemishes she has. Flowers.

Craig possibly is rather glitches out around the eye and a few other spots around his body

Frozen @ some point in the game and can not pass that said part

Missing File.exe

Missing background in some places, that and or rather glitched up and hard to see

Moments of g l itching,,,

Are. Are we allowed to let Ken pull a sans and know they’re in a fucking game bc his file keeps getting more and more corrupted (hence his body having skeleton bits; he rots more and more after it gets corrupted). He warns everyone so they cld do something abt it bc eventually he will fade away or disappear.

Tweek’s voice is fucked up, possibly has a third eye behind all his hair

RANDY IS NOT IN THIS AU,, His file was deleted a whole while back due to him knowing too much and yada yada, No randy

Kyle probably doesn’t have a mouth lol,, Its more glitched than anything

Butters missing his eye’s, blind boy

“LETS PLAY”

Creek? In my au?? NO THANK YOU

SOBS

Token probably doesn’t exist sorry,,

Jimmy has no legs sadly,, Missing in his files

Very tempted to make eric behind the whole thing

He probably is honestly,,

Tbh i really like the idea of Eric having alters, and since this is more of a glitch kinda game? He cld shapeshift into them. Mitch Conner, the more prominent one, is just a bald guy with the SAME eye glitch as eric.

Gotta add scott tenorman to the game because I love him, Possibly half human half robot type shit

Clyde ….. Died, more than likely, Possibly before the glitched happen, causing Craig to be more bumbbed out then usual...Craig probably wears his Jacket

I want Jimmy,,,, to wear Token’s sweater around his waist. Bc now that you mention it, the same thing cld happen to Token too :0

Fuck I think the idea of the characters all looking super surreal pre-corruption, kinda like the npcs of Yume Nikki- i just. Gfdnmmbhfbhghg pls. hOLD ON LEMME JUST-

KINDA LIKE THEM. wait im gonna send a clearer version to you in dms

Lots of secrets, lots of secrets,,,

What if, like in ddlc, Cartman cld put shit in ur game files. Or the characters cld.

A lot of it is just. Cries for help.

Insert a drawing kenny made of himself (skeleton with a fucking 2 foot dong) and the rest is just. Crass handwriting saying “PLEASE HELP ME I’LL DIE AT THIS RATE” or smth.

The game has a dark sense to it, not having very much lighting, the ora around the whole place is dark and mostly everyone isn’t so happy

Cartman thought the place was a little TOO happy so that’s why he probably did it, wanting full control over the whole place and by that he’d need to make the town dark and shit so they’d throw out the mayor and that.

Most of the girl’s files are missing, but everyone knows them….you just can’t see them

Oof to reference Heidi’s “quitting [twitter]”,,, whenever Heidi’s mentioned the words ‘Quitter’ appear so it’s a rule that no one talks about her.

What im trying to say is she voluntarily deleted her own file.

SHE KILLED HERSELF, MAN.

Craig is more emotionless than ever

RUBY?? IDK HER. KAREN ETHER

Everyones just DEAD MAN.

Idk how it happened theyre just gone.

Eric ‘ the hacker ‘ Cartman

Cartman you Big Blubbery Bitch

Sometimes really high pitched screaming happens but everyones used to it so its okay

Part of why theyre used to it is because tweek screams at the same pitch as the other ringing screams so they cant tell

What if at

Eric probably got Heidi to help him delete everyone’s Files, Possibly blackmailing her with someone of some sorts ( idk rn ) and forced her to delete files and that’s when she also deleted herself not going to be able to stand knowing she did it

If craig or kenny or either one says her name enough the writing “please don’t. I don’t wanna come back” will be written among a bunch of “quitters” overlapping and making this big fucking patch of whatevers. A conversation can probably be initiated from there.

Only Craig and kenny remember Heidi

The game probably disappears after a while because of so many files being deleted the game won’t run properly and will be forced to shut down...aka ALL FILES are deleted. So MC or NEW KID has to fix that?? And stop Cartman bringing everyone back ( But clyde cause he died before the glitch )

It all looks like peaches and cream at first (the scenery), esp while new kid roams through, and then they meet the first character and their monstrous appearances.

Wld this game be in FIRST person or third like the south park games,,

Third person

clyde glitches in and out of the world but since his file is gone. dead. destroyed for good and it really fucks with craig's mind bc he shouldn't even be here

OOOOO WHAT IF THE NEW KID CLD CHOOSE THEIR DESIGN LIKE IN THE OTHER GAMES

But you CANT be normal looking.

So like. Theres animal bits ummmmmm glitches,,,, your SKIn can be like. Really fucky.

Some characters don’t even have color to them, their just bland gray’s whites and blacks

If by chance bebe is in there,,, she probably has eyes all over her. In reference to people looking at her. Looking at her for too long results in a jumpscare of her shaking in tears and the words “PLEASE DON’T LOOK AT ME” appearing for like a split second. This is more likely to happen if you’re not engaging in conversation with her. (FUCK YES)

Kenny’s a filthy BODY PART THIEF

He steals ppls limbs so like he has his own skeleton-ish arms and then like four other ones

New kid having the option to hurt the people they meet

And Craig’s just like ‘ Nope ‘,, You choose the wrong people to hurt and Criag’s gonna get cha

[finnlet]

Sans the skeleton went into a coffee shop on September 13th, 2019. He came in for a americano because it was one of the few things that warmed his cold heart. He took it black and added nothing special to it. He loved bitterness.

Then, he saw him. Kokichi Ouma. The Ultimate Supreme Leader. He felt something in his bones, an aching sensation to go meet him. He went to the barista and read his nametag.

"Hey.... Komaeda. give me a freakin' americano! no sugar, no creamer, just make it black and venti. thanks."

"um. ok. i'll get it going for you... sans"

"whatever."

Sans and Komaeda had been a couple back in 2015 but they broke up due to Komaeda cheating on him with another man named Hajime.

========

"S-SANS? IT'S NOT WHAT YOU THINK. H-HE... UM..." komaeda screamed

"OH BUDDY YOu'RE SET TO HAVE A BAD TIME NOW. PREPARE YOURSELF" sans shouted.

sans threw a lamp at hajime, who ran out screaming and crying. komaeda moved out of sans' house and went to move in with hajime. oh well.

========

Sans went over to the little purple haired man who was sitting on his macbook writing an email.

"Hey... you look kinda cute. Wanna get sansy?" sans asked.

"what the fuck lol. are you cursed. im going to send a picture of u to korekiyo lmao. maybe he knows whats happening" ouma said, taking out his phone

"wha.... what the hell are you talking about" sans asked

"korekiyo knows about weird shit so he'd probably know what you are you cursed halloween decoration"

*snap*

ouma mumbled as he typed: "hey... dude .... look at this... weird shit at starbucks"

"Im not a decoration, i'm a skeleton." sans said.

"oh. So do skeletons have dicks."

"I can show you if you come back to my place later." sans said WITH A SMIRK.

"...I think i'll take you up on your offer. i've always been curious about what happens when all the flesh falls off  lol. TIME TO SEE SKELTON DIK." ouma shouted.

the other patrons of starbucks turned and looked at him.

saihara, who was hanging out with kaede, kaito, maki, kiibo, and korekiyo, ran over.

"Ouma shut the fuck up you're so loud and annoying." saihara said

"ok" ouma said

"hey who the hell are you. im trying to hook up with this dude and you're here yelling at him" sans growled. he was rumbling like a machine. his eye went blue.

"well if you really want to know I'm... Shuichi Saihara. They call me the Ultimate Detective, but... lol. you know, you give off the same awful aura that ouma gives me. two peas in a pod i guess" saihara said, eyeing sans.

*snapchat noficiation sound*

"...korekiyo is right there but he sent me a fucking snapchat message back. what a creep." ouma sighed. opening it, he huffed a HUGE GROAN.

"are you even a real fucking anthropologist? why do you know the history of farming but not skeletons." ouma shouted across the restaurant.

"BE QIET SIMPLETON." maki shouted back angrily. she was beyond pissed off.

“Har har har!” ouma laughed heartily.

“SANS? WILL YOU PLEEEEEASE PICK UP YOUR COFFEE. IT’S BEEN DONE FOR LIKE, 10 MINUTES NOW.” komaeda shouted through the microphone.

“Fucking hell ok” sans said, walking off. He picked it up and walked back over towards Ouma.

“That guys my ex. Hes kind of weird isnt he :) i threw a lamp at his boyfriend when they tried to cuck me. LOL” sans chortled. He sounded like a wind chime when he laughed.

“Komaeda is cool, he gives me free milk and cheese samples since I told him i’m an orphan from tokyo. What a fucking idit he is for believing me am i right?! i have my macbook pro and my iphone x AND MY AIRPODS, plus my ipad pro and these cool yeezys.” ouma laughed. he was so fucking sneaky.

“what do you use the ipad for if you already have a macbook” sans asked. he had nothing but an iphone x and some air jordans :/”

“I use that to watch family guy, WHA TTH EFUCK DO YOU THINK? Do you think i don’t like the best program of our time? I love seeing Peter Griffin appear on my screen. he fills me with lust. Dare say you that you…. dislike family guy?” ouma went on monologuing.

“n-no i didnt say i hated family guy i just-”

“ANDDD YOU’RE JUST LIKE KIBOY! HAR HAR HAR! He hates family guy! He can’t stand it. nobody at that noob table likes it. the only people who like family guy at my school are me, ryoma, angie, and himiko. Tenko watches it but only because she has a crush on lois. lol” ouma sighed.

the starbucks went quiet aside from the sipping sounds and weird ass pop music. today’s playlist included: “fake love” (A/N: STREAM FAKE LOVE :]), “two trucks”, and “like a farmer.”

ouma specifically requested this because he knew everyone hated the music, but komaeda felt bad for him and kept the same three songs on.

“Ouma Kokichi. One of your little friends over there just told me that you AREN’T AN ORPHAN?” komaeda said. he was crying.

“w-WHO. WHO SAID THAT LOL. IT’S A… THEY’RE LYING.” ouma shouted. he was so scared. he knew that komaeda had kept note of how much free starbucks shit he’d gotten and it was well over 4,500 dollar.s

“idk. that one.” komaeda pointed at kiibo.

“OHHH KIBOYYYYYYYYYY. He’s a robot, Nagito. You can’t trust Robots!” ouma laughed.

“That is blatant robophobia! I will report you to the proper starbucks authorities if you keep up this act Ouma!” kiibo shouted.

“shut up you ugly bag of bolts” ouma growled aggain.

kaede, korekiyo, and saihara looked alarmed. every day kiibo and ouma fought in the bathroom and caused some type of flooding to happen. once they lined up a bunch of fruits and vegetables and flooded the bathroom and they all ended up in the hallway.

“Kaede. Saihara. It’s been… nice, but I will leave now. I do not like being around Ouma.” korekiyo said.

“w-wait man donT LEAVE YET.” saihara said. he was sweating like a pig. he knew that kiibo liked having saihara on his side and ouma always punched himb (saihara) in the ribs to give him a bruise.

“yeah you shouldn’t leave yet…😀 please” kaede begged.

“You have Maki and Kaito. I’m fairly certain they can fight better than us.” korekiyo said, already halfway to the door.

“He’s right you know.” kaede said. she and saihara said goodbye through their tears and turned to ouma and kiibo again.

“MAN I’M ALL FIRED UP, CAN’T BELIEVE THAT OUMA IS FUCKIN’ AROUND WITH KIIBO AGAIN AND IN PUBLIC THIS TIME” kaito shouted. he was so full of energy because he had accidentally gotten coffee with extra sugar.

“kaito shut up” maki said.

“CAN’T STOP ME NOW…. IM HAVIN’ A GOOD TIME DON’T WANNA STOP AT ALL” kaito said. he did not know the lyrics right.

“c-can you guys please leave” said two men sitting in a booth. it was george michael and andrew ridgeley. they were visiting japan today for their tour and decided to get some unicorn frappuccinos to drink.

sans was staring in anticipation at everyone. ouma and kiibo were glaring at each other and komaeda could only watch in horror.

“Lets take this outside man. maybe it’ll rain and you’ll get rusty and die. LOL.” ouma screamed. he was in hysterics now.

“OH. YOU’VE DONE IT NOW. YES, WE’RE GOING TO FIGHT RIGHT NOW. OUTSIDE. SAIHARA, KAEDE, KAITO, MAKI, K…. where did korekiyo go” kiibo said

“He left bc you guys are fucked up” maki said. she wanted to leave when she saw ouma but didn’t have the heart to say it to everyone. ouma always ruined the plans.

“wha…. NO?” kiibo said. he cried one tear.

“>implying you can use everyone. YOU ONLY GET TWO OF THOSE PEOPLE ON YOUR TEAM DUMBASS.” ouma shouted

“t-team?!” saihara gasped. he was 💩ing bricks.

“for the BEST TEAM, i, kokichi Ouma, pick: kaito and maki. kiboy gets saihara and kaede! lmao have fun with weaklings.” ouma said.

“can you all leave already, you’RE SCARING THE CUSTOMERS AWAY AND ITS RUINING BUSINESS.” the manager (teruteru) said angrily.

“oh fuck off you ant.” ouma said, dragging everyone out into the back lot. komaeda and sans were dumbfounded. there was virtually no rehearsal for that.

CHAPTER TWO START:::

“Ouma you have insulted me for the last time. today is a new start. kaede, saihara, and i will now proceed to defeat you.” kiibo shouted. he was fucking confident in his abilities today.

“kiboy you will lose in one minute. im sorry to say it. wait, NO IM NOT. fucking hellion. seth mcfarlane personally blessed me with family guy so i am invincible.” ouma said.

“ouma do i have to help you. i dont want to fight my sidekick OR KAEDE. o-or KIIBO :)” kaito asked.

“yes shrimp. you must fight for me because i recruited you and that’s how this bullshit works. don’t worry though! it’ll only take one pow and kiboy will be knocked out because he’s rusty and old. NEEHEEHEE.” ouma was fucking laughing his ass off.

maki and kaito looked at each other and gave the most sorry looks to kaede and saihara. they honestly didn’t Want to help ouma because they thought he was a fucking asshole but ouma could blackmail them and potentially kill them. no risks. kaede and saihara knew this but were still hurt.

“Ouma I have a doctor’s appointment in like, 15 minutes. can i leave yet” kaede said.

“wha…? w-well… you’re goign to hav eto recruit someone else to fight in your place since saihara wouldn’t win against me in a million years lol.” ouma said. he was so fucking annoyed. he just wanted to punch kiibo already.