#and I'm talking about Tommy and Buck because I don't care about everything else in the show

[alphabetshipper]

The thing is that I want to see how the ship came to be, but the problem is that I don't care about everything else that happens between that.

I want them ✨taadaa✨

Edit: and when I say 'I don't care about everything else', I don't mean I literally don't care about the show or the other characters (please don't hear me wrong), what I mean is that it's a lot of story that I'll have to get through and I'm build for the 3-7/8/9 episodes a season type life 🥺😂 (read: I'm a lazy viewer)

[aesthetictarlos]

I don't think Buck has realised how much Tommy hides behind that confidence and coolness and smoothness he shows. Of course he knows there's a story there, knows about Gerrard and that Tommy doesn't talk to his parents but he doesn't know about his insecurities, about his past, yet.

Doesn't know that Tommy's fucking terrified because he might not have abandonment issues like Buck does, but a lot of people left him behind. He doesn't know that Tommy's still learning how to let someone in, how to let someone take care of him, how to be vulnerable. Doesn't know that Tommy still has nightmares from his time in the army, doesn't know that he's the first person to make Tommy feel like he matters, like he's worthy of love. Doesn't know that Tommy still struggles to show his emotions because no matter how many therapy sessions he attended, sometimes he still feels the need to bottle everything up and shove it down. Doesn't know that Tommy's insecure, too, that sometimes he looks at himself in the mirror and sees the asshole he was a few years back.

He's not being naive, it's just that Tommy's so cool and funny and sarcastic and he always knows what to say, what to do and they're still in the honeymoon phase and things are great and their bubble is so nice but then one day something bad happens and he would like to help, to be there for his boyfriend but he realizes that Tommy's holding back, because that's what he's used to doing. He takes care of himself, he hides and licks his wounds, because he's never had someone like Buck before.

Buck doesn't know what to do when his boyfriend clams and shuts down and barely talks to him. He doesn't know what to do when Tommy's distant but still looks at him fondly, doesn't know what to do when he wakes up in the middle of the night to Tommy's quiet sobs. He just reaches a hand out and brushes his palm up and down Tommy's back, soothing him as best as he can, and when the next morning Tommy crumbles in the middle of his kitchen while Buck is making them breakfast, Buck is right there, holding him up and holding him close.

He tells Tommy that he can be vulnerable with him, that he won't leave, that he wants everything, the good and the bad, and patiently listens to Tommy telling him that he doesn't know how to be vulnerable, because he never had someone picking up his pieces before. He listens as Tommy finally tells him about his father and his heavy hands on his tiny body, tells him about the screams he heard at night when their parents fought, tells him about the group homes he lived in because no one would want to foster or adopt a ten year old, tells him about the army and that one time he watched his co-pilot bleed out on the cold sand of the desert. Buck listens as Tommy tells him about Gerrard, and his early days at the 118 and the guilt that still eats him alive sometimes. Buck listens as Tommy tells him about his disastrous dates, about the first guy he hooked up with, a guy that wasn't as patient and soothing and delicate as Tommy has been with him when they had sex for the first time. Buck listens as Tommy bares his soul to him, crying his eyes out and handing him parts of him he kept hidden for years.

Buck listens to him patiently, and holds him, murmuring promises into his ears. I love you, all of you, even those parts you hate. I'm not going anywhere, I'll take care of you, I'll show you how much I love you every day. You are everything I've always wanted. I'm here, I got you, I have your back. I love you. I love you.

For the first time, in that kitchen, with Tommy still crying into his arms, Buck realizes that yeah, Tommy handed him the missing piece of his heart but he did the same for Tommy. He realizes that they healed each other, and there's a reason why it never worked with anyone else before.

[thisissirius]

Do you think they're gonna fight?

hmmmmm

it might go something like this

"What is your problem?"

The words ring through the weird echo in Buck's kitchen. Eddie's furious, the lines of his body tense, holding himself apart from Buck.

Which shouldn't be as life-changing as it feels.

"Eddie," Buck says, fingers tight around the counter. "I thought you were out with Tommy."

"I was," Eddie says slowly, and there's confusion in the way he stares at Buck, a little betrayed, a little hurt. "You said you were busy tonight, but then Maddie sent a text. You told her we were going out?"

Fuck.

Buck shrugs, sliding his beer bottle off the counter. "Does it matter?"

"You're lying to your sister, to me, and you're asking if it matters?"

It's not lying. It's preservation. Buck can't—can't do this. "You were having fun, I was having fun," as if, "everything is fine."

Eddie watches him as he crosses the kitchen, cradling the beer bottle in his hands. Buck wants him to leave, to let him have this, whatever it is, in private. "You don't lie to me."

"Yeah well, people change," Buck mutters, because the hurt lances through him. Eddie and Tommy, getting on better, their relationship so effortless when Buck was jealous and angry and, and, and. "Tommy's—"

"I don't care about Tommy right now," Eddie says, coming to stand on the other side of the counter. "I care about you and whatever you have going on! it's not like you, Buck, and you can talk to me, you know you can."

Buck opens his mouth, closes it. "Not this. Not this."

There's definitely hurt in Eddie's expression, but he turns before Buck gets a good look. "Aren't we," Eddie starts, cuts off. His shoulders fall, sag a little. "Alright, Buck. Just—there's nothing you can tell me that I wouldn't—"

"Eddie," Buck whispers. He always thought it would be some furious thing, angry and heavy with emotion. Instead, he feels desperate, knows that if Eddie leaves like this, tension and hurt between them, it won't matter anymore.

"I think I might be bisexual!"

The words fall faster than he can stop them. It settles like lead in his stomach and he takes an involuntary step backwards.

Eddie turns, his eyes widening a fraction, his mouth closing. He stares.

The stretch is long enough that Buck starts to panic, feels something claw at his chest and it's tight, so tight, he definitely need to be somewhere else, anywhere else.

"Why would that," Eddie starts, cutting himself off.

Eddie's not stupid, of course he's not, but Buck hopes, begs, that he thinks it's Tommy, that Buck's like this because—

"Buck," Eddie says.

Shit. "Eddie, I don't—"

"Look at me." Eddie's words are soft, so soft. Buck wants to look up but he can't, he can't. Not if he wants to keep breathing or standing or doing anything that isn't collapsing because this is Eddie and he's, he's, everything.

Feet move into his periphery, fingers curling around his bicep.

"Buck," Eddie says again, this time firmer. "Buddy, look at me."

Like he's moving through mud, chest still tight, body warm, Buck is helpless to do anything but look up. Eddie looks the same way he always does. Buck isn't sure what that means; aren't things supposed to change? To shift beyond comprehension?

"Me?"

The word shouldn't be so life-changing. It's two letters, but it feels like so much more as Buck stares at his best friend. He wants to say yes, wants to run, but whatever Eddie sees in his face must say everything he can't.

"Shit." Eddie's fingers rest against Buck's collar, and he tips his head forward. Their foreheads touch and Buck doesn't know what to say, what to do. "Your timing, man."

Buck swallows. "I didn't know, not really. Not until—"

"Tommy," Eddie says. "Did you think—?"

"It seemed so easy, you and him," Buck starts.

"It is," Eddie agrees, shaking Buck a little. "But that doesn't mean anything against you. How could it? How could anyone come close to you?"

It's—Buck's fingers curl slowly around Eddie's waist, hooking in his jacket. "I'm sorry," he says, "about the lying, about not telling you. I couldn't, I didn't want to ruin anything."

"I know." Eddie sighs, pulling back, but his hand stays on Buck's collarbone, thumb rubbing against the exposed skin. "I'm so proud of you for saying it."

Something loosens in Buck's shoulders. "Thanks."

"But," Eddie says, and the lead is back, molten and hot in Buck's stomach. "I can't—Marisol and Chris," Eddie starts. "I need to speak to them and I can't, I need—"

The words trail off into silence.

Buck stares at Eddie, at the stricken expression, the concern. "I'm not going anywhere."

A smile curves Eddie's face and god, how could Buck have thought he'd be okay with this losing this? With letting Eddie go and being alone?

"It doesn't have to be now," Buck says, finding himself back on familiar ground. "You're the forever kind of guy, Eddie."

Eddie looks gut-punched, and his fingers flex against Buck's collarbone, tugs him forward by his shirt. A kiss brushes against Buck's temple, and Eddie drags him into a hug. "You're something else, Evan."

The hug is warm, tight, and Buck clings to the back of Eddie's jacket. He feels wrung out, worn and used, and he buries his face in Eddie's neck. "I'm sorry."

"Shut up," Eddie says gently. "It's not an easy thing to say."

Buck doesn't ask what about you or why did you come here or you make me so fucking happy.

Eddie doesn't say I don't know or I'll always come for you or you're the forever kind of guy, too.

Eventually, they will.

For now, it's enough.

or something :)

[lenaboskow]

so last night i was sitting here trying to clear my writer's block by jumping between wips and then i had a thought: a writing experiment where i write what an "evan begins" ep would look like. and i know what you're thinking-- "we don't want that" but HEAR ME OUT (this was written while sleep deprived but i'm too lazy to rewrite it, bear with me)

"evan begins" isn't actually buck coming to terms with his given name, it's actually the beginning of him losing himself in his relationship with tommy over the course of several episodes (telling everyone that he no longer goes by buck, distancing himself from the 118, getting reckless on calls because tommy, who is as uninterested as we've seen him to be, only seems to care when he's hurt just like his parents).

and eddie. eddie hates this. he just got christopher back, and now buck is pulling away from him, from their family, from the 118, is refusing to be called buck, and won't stop risking his life for no reason. he tries, he tries so hard to get buck to listen to him. eddie never calls him evan, not once, and buck ignores him every time his name leaves his mouth. it hurts, but eddie knows that he can't give in, that he needs to fight for buck because no one else is, has time to because they're all going through their own stuff. but buck helped him get through chris being in texas, and now eddie would help buck get through whatever this is.

but buck isn't making it easy. he isn't talking to anyone, not really, but it's like he's specifically avoiding eddie. that's why it takes so long for eddie to realize what he's doing. that he's reverted back to his childhood attempts at getting attention. and the way he notices? complete accident. eddie's at the hospital, waiting for news (because buck never remembered to take eddie off of his emergency contact list, and eddie would use that power as much as possible until he realized), and tommy shows up. he and tommy aren't on the friendliest of terms anymore, mostly because of eddie's newly identified jealousy, but they make small talk. tommy makes a comment, something about how he and "evan" hadn't had the chance to go out on a date in over a week, and it clicks.

eddie shows up at the loft that night. tommy's there, he answers the door, and eddie pushes past him, heads straight to buck who's sitting on the couch that isn't even comfortable. he stands in front of him, and before buck can ask why he's at the loft, eddie says "i know what you're doing, and it needs to stop".

buck. buck just... goes quiet. the lack of a denial is enough for eddie, and he turns to tommy, telling him he needs to go. tommy puts up a fight, but eddie's more stubborn, and may or may not threaten to call athena (who is not tommy's biggest fan). is it ethical? no. does it have any legal standing? no to that as well. but eddie doesn't care, and it works, and suddenly he and buck are alone for the first time in months. and buck breaks.

he tells eddie everything, how he didn't feel like himself, and that he didn't know why he was doing what he was, but he didn't know how to stop it, how to leave this relationship that took so much from him. he tells eddie he feels like a failure, like a disappointment, and that he feels guilty for abandoning him right after chris got back. feels guilty for abandoning chris, and the rest of the 118. and eddie just holds him.

the next episode is titled "buck begins again", and we see eddie help buck pick the pieces of his life back up. there's a not so pleasant breakup, apologies are made, and eddie is right there by buck's side the entire time.

i don't think, don't want buddie to get into a relationship in this episode, but what i think would be an acceptable ending would be buck telling eddie "i know, and you know, but i'm not ready. i want to be better for you, for us, for me. will you wait for me?" and eddie just smiles, and nods his head. end episode.

[lemotmo]

Question and answer. Their fight is clinging to life right now.

Q. I just don't understand how you could have liked Tommy so much after episode 4 and still refuse to admit that the reason you don't like him now is because you don't like Lou. Tommy changed after episode 4 because their relationship changed. It got more serious as the season went on and we saw Buck change and grow as that relationship grew. He even took back his name as a result of his relationship with Tommy. The show has shown Tommy to be supportive, encouraging, protective and funny. Just because we didn't see specific scenes showing all of those things doesn't mean that the show isn't implying they don't exist. Oliver and Lou don't have the same comfort level of Oliver and Ryan no one cares. Who cares if Oliver doesn't like him? I don't. It's his job to show up and act professional.

A. Okay I'm going to answer your question, but I'm going to get very real with you very quickly. I am not the place for any of your reclaiming his name bullshit. That is not what he did. That is not at all what the Evan thing is about. You know that, and I'm not going to humor your ridiculous attempt to claim otherwise. As for the rest of your ask, where exactly was it shown that their relationship was serious? What episode was that? And did you really say just because the show didn't show us specific scenes of Tommy being the perfect boyfriend doesn't mean they're not implying those qualities are there? What scenes implied those qualities? I'm going to go through this in a very simple way because you seem to be struggling with everything.

My opinion of Tommy changed because the show wanted it to change. We now basically have confirmation that episodes 7 through 10 were rewrites, and the scripts were rewritten, hastily, during the winter break. Tim has all but confirmed that at this point. Their filming schedule also confirms this. They were filming the next episode the week the current episode was airing. Which means the new scripts were written AFTER episodes 4 and 5 aired. Meaning Tim and the writers knew you all liked Tommy. They had that knowledge going into the rewrites. They didn't give him a scene where Buck talks to him about his feelings regarding the name Evan, the audience knows how Buck feels about that name. The show would have absolutely given the audience that scene. The show didn't give him a scene where he comforts Buck during the whole Bobby ordeal. Tommy had one scene in the finale it could have easily been at the hospital. In fact it would have been easier if it had been at the hospital. Instead they went out of their way to work in a deliberately awkward scene. The show didn't write anything for him that was comforting, encouraging, protective or funny. What the show wrote for him was:

"They had Henley's in the 80's"

"Enjoy it while it lasts"

" I certainly hope so" (when Buck asked him if he thought he had daddy issues) and even Tim has long since stopped trying to pass this off as flirty.

I didn't invent that dialogue. It didn't come from a cameo video or a headcanon. The show gave him that dialogue. That dialogue is his canon character. Nothing about any of that is charming as Buck's boyfriend. I have said repeatedly that they're not writing him as a BAD guy. They're writing him as a bad FIT for Buck. And that's okay! You can still like him! You can headcanon the relationship as something else entirely, that's your prerogative, but the show's writing is very clear. I'm following the writing. As for Lou, I am an adult. This would not be the first show I've watched where I didn't like a particular actor/actress. I find Lou gross. I don't deny or pretend otherwise. But I can separate Tommy from him for the sake of the show. That's called compartmentalizing. That's what adults can do. None of this is difficult for me because I'm following the show's lead. You all are the ones killing yourselves trying to force a narrative that doesn't exist. I will also take this time to point out something that was a first this season. This was the first season in the history of the series where Buck had no storyline. Buck had one episode of plot the entire season and it was episode 4. The entire rest of the season for Buck was spent in Eddie's storyline. Not scenes with Tommy. Not scenes building up that serious relationship you speak of. His entire character purpose this season was spent in the Eddie storyline. You cannot build up an outside relationship when you're doubling down on the Buddie aspect. And the show spent the entire season doubling down on that pairing. For better or worse, whether you like it or not, every single partner Buck or Eddie have will be compared to their relationship with each other. And the show puts zero effort into any of their other relationships. Anna was clearly supposed to be Eddie's realization relationship but when Kristen scrapped that she ended up just being awkward as hell. Marisol didn't even have a last name. The only thing we were ever told about Natalia was her fascination with death. Tommy has been no different. The show gave the bare minimum required to indicate that he doesn't fit Buck. His entire dialogue , minimal as it was, this season was dedicated to highlighting that. And that has always been the problem. The show isn't interested in building any relationship for Buck or Eddie outside of each other. And if they were going to do it this was the season to do it. Brand new network, new expectations and a fresh start. And instead they doubled down on them. And in fact made more effort to highlight and showcase their connection. I didn't get that from a cameo or headcanon either. The actual canon scenes told us that. They didn't give Buck a storyline this season so his scenes could be used entirely for Eddie. He wasn't used off screen with Tommy he was used on screen with Eddie. It was a deliberate choice.

As for Oliver, you all are the ones who keep bringing up that Oliver and Lou don't appear to be close. If you didn't care you wouldn't keep bringing it up. They're not required to be close. And we have no actual proof that they outright dislike one another. What we know is they're clearly not comfortable with one another. And there could be many reasons for that. I doubt, given what we know of Oliver, and what we learned about Lou this year, that they have much of anything in common. It's hard to bond when you have nothing in common to bond over. There is also no way anyone involved with the show, outside of Lou, didn't have a problem with what the cameo videos created. They were a completely avoidable mess. A mess that Lou openly encouraged until he could no longer financially benefit from interacting with those people. And Oliver is a professional. He has never shown anything other than completely respectable, professional behavior. But please don't interpret that as him not having a say because he very much does. But I doubt he spends any amount of time worrying about what your opinion of him is. Unlike some he doesn't have to pay for validation.

All right, I have another OP truth bomb for you guys. Thanks once again to the kind Nonny who sends these to me.

I won't add anything to this one, because I think all that needs to be said is explained so beautifully in this post.

So enjoy!

Heads up! For anyone who is giving me the shifty eyes for reposting these anon OP updates instead of reblogging. Don't get mad at me. There is a reason for it and it's all done with consent from the OP. You can find out more about that here.

Remember, no hate in comments or reblogs. Let's keep it civil and respectful. Thank you.

If you are interested in more of the anonymous OP’s posts, you can find all of their posts so far under the tag: anonymous blog I love.

[straightontllmorning]

can i say (as a bi woman) that it genuinely bothers me that like... so many ppl are like 'its not biphobic for a bisexual to have casual sex' when i don't think anyone has ever said THAT is the issue? i don't care what bisexuals do in real life. if they wanna have safe and consensual casual sex, go right ahead, idc! it's not for me but as long as i'm also being respected in my decision, idc what other people do. it just baffles me because buck in season one was talking about how he was a sex addict and how he didn't want to ruin things with abby by rushing into sex too fast because he genuinely liked her and that was like... kind of a huge part of his character? is that he DIDN'T really like the casual sex so much but actually wanted a real relationship? so why is oliver begging to have buck sleep around again when his character like... wanted more than just sex??? i don't mind character regression but it just feels like bad writing to retread that plot again.

also idc what other people say about thinking OS wasn't biphobic in his remarks. the guy dropped the ball hardcore. he could have easily said "i think buck can continue to casually explore his sexuality with other men and women now, he's still bisexual even if he's single" and it wouldn't have felt so... idk. fetishize-y to me. i'm just tired of bisexuality in fiction always being linked to promiscuity. real bisexuals can do whatever they want. but bisexuals in fiction are held to a different standard for a reason. what else should i expect from a ryan murphy show tho considering brittany on glee never called herself bisexual (bi-lingual, bi-corn) and she was portrayed the 'stupid slutty cheerleader' stereotype. i was just hoping for something different ig :(

it just makes me mad because... they didn't have to break up buck and tommy Like That. tommy could have easily had to move away and he and buck could have broken things off mutually as a result. idk sorry for ranting a bit in ur asks im just so miffed over this and over people speaking over bisexuals expressing their thoughts and concerns toward the biphobia that's going on rn :(

Sorry it took me so long to answer you, but please rant away! Honestly I agree with everything you've said. And unfortunately this really does prove that yeah, this is a Ryan Murphy show and it's par for the fucking course. I was gleek and that always bothered me too that Britney would never say it (and most of her characterization in general was just awful)

I wish Oliver had said something different, I wish he hadn't worded it that way. And again, people can have their opinions but it just feels so gross given how the show decided to do this.

They could've had bucktommy break up in any other way for any other reason. They brought up the Abby plot, they could've used that as the hurdle. They could have had them talk about wanting different things in a relationship. Literally anything that wasn't Tommy basically telling Buck it's over because he's not enough of a stereotype. Because bisexuals don't know what they want. Clearly.

It's very infuriating and I'm so sorry that yet another piece of media treated bisexual people like fucking shit.

And it's really fucking infuriating that people who aren't bisexual are defending Oliver over his comment. Again, have your different opinions but don't speak over people that are bi and already have to deal with biphobia in our shitty society

This show went about it all in an awful way, and I'm really sad that we were all tricked into believing they'd handle it better

[god-i-hope-so]

I'm gonna be this person for a minute because the things I read sometimes are just... not that. Some of you really need to talk to elder millenials instead of profiling Tommy based on your very young life experience. Please. The generation gap really shows and you misinterpret everything about him because his behavior of a late 30s/early 40s man doesn't match your less than 25 years old life. And I get it, you do with what you know, it's perfectly normal, but don't project yourself in a story where characters will invevitably be very different from you. Learn to know them instead. And even if you're jealous of Tommy (because I know how it works, you don't fool me), it's not a reason to paint a portrait of him that is nowhere near his canon self and what we see on screen. We're not dramatic teens anymore at this age and details are a lot less important when they're not about really meaningful things, as is life-scale things.

Tommy not wearing perfectly in-theme clothes at the party is nothing. It's a shame, sure, but does it spoil the fun (they end up not having)? Absolutely not. And remember: they just met. It's not like they've known each other for months or years and have high expectations because they have a history together. What is important here? That he showed up or that he wears the right outfit? He showed up while being on call. This is big. Details are details. It's like saying a 6 course meal was horrible because they didn't have the dessert you wanted and had to choose something else. No, the dinner was delicious, shame they didn't have the dessert but it's nothing. You still enjoyed the damn food served.

Creating posts about how Tommy doesn't care about Buck because of this kind of details, and using your personality as a reference to profile Tommy?? This is not how things work. It's not because you can't relate that it's wrong. It's not because it doesn't fit your fic ideas that it's not valid. It's not because it's different that it's not right. You can just say you don't like him for who he is, it's fine! No one is forced to like him. But don't twist the character's personality to fit your narrative. This is not how things work.

And please talk to people. Just, you know, sharing basic life things, in a safe space. It's possible and it's great, for everyone involved.

[azaharinflames]

Some 806 spec, because these next two weeks, my God...

Forever thankful to Tim for not leaving us with a cliffhanger, but now I'm just lost as to what will happen in 806. We have no clues, other than whatever happens has to do with Tommy's past. We know Buck will spiral a little bit and will seek help from Bobby as well as from Maddie. And once he's talking with her, Josh will intervene and probably give Buck a nice perspective.

(side note: I think it's very telling it is Josh the one to talk with Buck, who is a gay man around Tommy's age. I do believe he'll be there to be a friend for Buck, but also to give him some much-needed perspective that Bobby and Maddie simply cannot give him)

We know, again from Oliver's interviews, that 806 has Buck and Tommy learning some (uncomfortable) truths about each other (although this can very well be just Buck learning something about Tommy, the wording here is vague on purpose) and some things they need to navigate and get through.

We also know post 806 Buck faces change, and that there is a lot of possibilities for him. And I will be fully honest here, the use of the word 'possibilities' definitely made me wonder if BT were breaking up in ep 806 - and in a way, possibilities was talking about Buck's love life moving forward.

However.

Firstly, it might be just me, but I think it would be a bit weird to speak of an upcoming breakup as 'a lot of possibilities' for Buck. It can also apply to it, which is why I am worried, but it also sounds a bit odd.

Secondly, I remind myself every day that Oliver wants Buck to get off the hamster wheel. That he wants him to finally have a mature relationship that works through its issues and doesn't crumble at the first obstacle. To break BT up now would go against everything he's said lately.

More so, in those interviews, he also refers to these hurdles as something that makes their relationship deepen (when the interviewer says this it is not as a personal take, but saying -not verbatim- that Oliver has mentioned this).

Even more so, the way they were portrayed in 805 didn't scream doomed to me. They were shown as a solid new couple, still learning about each other but working as a pair. Their portrayal was entirely optimistic - even if Tommy was skeptical, he still took care of Buck and fully supported him. He was there for him even for the funeral of a mummy. This to say - if they suddenly broke up in 806 that would be an extreme whiplash for the GA, who has just seen an episode where BT is presented as a great couple with no evident issues.

And there is one more thing. This screenshot from an interview Oliver gave:

Again. Using fun to describe a breakup does not make sense to me. It would be very tone-deaf, and we know from the past that Oliver is very careful about the words he uses as well as the one. It wouldn't make sense, just like it didn't make sense when he described ep5 as fun, and that side of the fandom claimed he was breaking up with Tommy, or discovering a deep, dark secret.

So. All of this (sorry, extremely long, I know. 806 is killing me and we barely know a thing about it) to say...

I think Bucktommy will have the main SL for Buck (I think Eddie will have the main ep SL) during the episode... but I think something else happens. That they'll be okay, and then something turns things around for Buck.

And I think these changes that apparently affect Buck post-806 are not to do with Tommy, but with Buck as an individual. And I think it might have to do as his future as a firefighter.

I don't know. This felt like a big ramble lmao.

Let me know what you think so I know I'm not the only one losing their mind <3

[fantasylover145]

I don't understand how people think that Buck in 7x05 is only thinking about Eddie and that Buck didn't even care about his date with Tommy blowing up. I'm a buddie shipper 100% but that scene where Buck was talking to Maddie about lying to Eddie WASN'T EVEN ABOUT EDDIE!! It was about Buck, he was trying to understand WHY he was afraid to come out and why he lied about his date with Tommy, even if he saw himself as just an ally at that point. Whilst it was fairly a smooth transition for Buck, he still was pretty scared of coming out, I don't see how people don't get that, or at least that's how it comes across to me.

Therefore, Buck wanted to talk to Maddie to try to understand his feelings about everything a lot more, his sexuality and about his fears. But Buck wanted to do that without actually coming out to Maddie because he was SCARED, you can see it in the way he didn't want to admit it and avoided it,glossed over it and acted like it's not a big deal because he didn't want Maddie to treat him differently. He didn't want to BE different and tried to rationalise it and say he thought everyone felt that way.

That's what that scene was to me, not Buck being more concerned about Eddie but that he was trying to come to terms with his sexuality, especially as someone who has always been supportive of other people who are queer, he was just confused about why he didn't want to admit it and probably whether that made him queer as well. He was confused and overwhelmed and scared, it could of been Bobby or anyone in Eddie's place and I'm sure Buck would of been doing almost the exact same thing and thinking the exact same things. Buck's coming out was ABOUT Buck and ONLY Buck, not Eddie, not Tommy but BUCK!! Just like if Eddie gets a coming out story it should be about him and only him disregarding anything else.

[buddiebeginz]

But how is Tommy good for Buck right now? All he does that we’ve seen is belittle Buck any chance he gets.

I assume this is in reference to this ask that I reblogged? Just because I reblog something doesn't mean I agree with every single part of it particularly when it comes to asks often I'm reblogging for the responses.

Personally I don't like T*mmy as a character and even if Eddie didn't exist I still wouldn't like him with Buck. Him and Buck just don't work as a couple. In the first place Oliver and Lou just don't have that natural chemistry needed to pull off a believable romantic couple and it's certainly nothing compared to Oliver and Ryan who have magical chemistry just standing in the same scene together.

Second T*mmy and Buck just seem too different. Buck gets hyper fixated on things and is easily excitable and he especially (given his family history) often needs a little extra support and validation. Buck is also a little younger and newer to figuring out his sexuality. T*mmy is older with more life experience and also just generally has a more mellow personality than Buck. Which I know people might say opposites attract but in this case I think they're just too different.

T*mmy seems to have less patience and on multiple occasions it's felt like he was easily annoyed by Buck. On the first date when Buck was nervous T*mmy seemed annoyed in part probably because he's been out for a while and didn't want to deal with someone who is still figuring things out. You can't tell me that it didn't play some part when T*mmy literally left Buck right after he got nervous and told Eddie they were going to pick up some chicks. T*mmy could have said to Buck let's skip the movie and go back to your place and talk. Instead he just left. And going back to what I said about Buck needing extra emotional support I can only imagine how he felt his first time going out with a guy and being that vulnerable to just be left standing on the curb not fully understanding why.

Then there was the bachelor party. T*mmy seemed annoyed when Buck made a big deal about him not dressing up. T*mmy also didn't seem to notice or care that planning the bachelor party was important Buck. You could argue that T*mmy didn't know it was that important or that he didn't dress up because he had to work but when Buck expressed his feelings about it instead of T*mmy apologizing he was dismissive.

T*mmy was also dismissive when Buck was excited about receiving his first award telling him to "enjoy it while it lasts." And we know how important receiving that award was to Buck because apart from everything else he told Eddie back in s3 how much getting one would mean to him. Yet when he finally does instead of celebrating him the guy he's seeing acts like it's no big deal.

Then of course there was the daddy kink joke. Which the main issue was never that T*mmy was talking about something sexual it was that he chose to make a joke like that when Buck was being vulnerable and talking about his father figure almost dying.

I don't like T*mmy and I think Buck deserves so much better for a partner, that said everyone is entitled to ship who they want. I have nothing against the person in that post I reblogged who says they like B/T right now. My problem is mainly the militant part of that fandom that has decided even disliking T*mmy or not shipping B/T is homophobic. Or that somehow canon is superior to fanon. That celebrating Eddie as a queer character is somehow problematic now when it never was before.

[lover-of-mine]

I'm not your Lady Whistledown, but the Oliver stuff started very subtly following the joint interview. I think reality hit a few of them following that. They built it up as this big springboard for the ship and when it didn't go that way the, there were no more interviews, or promo for the pair from the show, anger at Oliver started to creep in. It was subtle until Lou closed his cameo, but once they lost their direct contact with him, lots of them blamed Oliver. They believe the show forced him to shut it down. And many believe Oliver had something to do with that. It didn't help that immediately after he closed his cameo he also stopped interacting with or answering their questions on Twitter. And of course Oliver started blocking people as well. There are lots of them who are also freaking out over the SWAT stuff because he's clearly going back to that show, in some capacity, and they don't know what that will mean for his availability as far as 911 goes.

Ryan's interviews aren't helping them either. He's kind of been systematically disproving each of their arguments with every interview he does. The Men's Health interview with Oliver, I think was just what finally broke some of them. He's not going to get on board with Tommy, whether the show gives him canon Buddie or not, he clearly isn't vested in or going to vest in B/T and I think that's getting harder and harder for them to pretend away. I think it's also becoming clear that Lou's enthusiasm for it has certainly dimmed as well, for whenever reason. They're not being fed anything to sustain them anymore because all of it was coming from Lou himself and once he stopped they didn't have anything else to cling too. So being mad at Oliver is all they have left because they're never going to blame or be angry at Lou. So now Oliver, Tim and even Ryan, because lots of them think Oliver would be fine with B/T if Ryan wasn't around, are to blame for everything. Their ship was never about Oliver or Buck. Once Lou made himself available to their fawning and played along with it, all while taking their money, it became a fandom about Lou. Buck was just the character paired with the actor they were fetishizing. Hopefully they follow him out the door.

wait, they are blaming Oliver for the cameos stopping? I mean, I keep joking if it came down to it the production is gonna do what keeps Oliver happy, but to say Oliver has that kind of pull is just a lazy excuse to hate him. Lou was creating a type of publicity that didn't line up with the route they were going. That's even if Lou was told to stop, we don't know that for sure, do we? Dude can just get tired of playing it up not that he got the exposure he could get and now it has run it's course. I have a little prayer circle for him to book something else and not come back, so if he's back in swat, you will hear me cheering, but seriously, the more I learn the more wtf i am. But it does make sense that they built the thing around the shiny new actor and now can't keep up because the part of the ship that actually matters doesn't care, that adds up. I kinda wanna scream tho, Ryan's interviews are because he's promoting a movie. The dude is not getting interviews because of 911, the fact that he can't shut up about buddie doesn't change the fact that he is not there to talk about them. And since the beginning, Oliver keeps talking about Buck being bisexual outside of Buck dating Tommy, and it's crazy to watch the fantasy crumble when there was never to back it up to begin with. Honestly, I do hope that when Tommy goes he takes that part of the fandom with him, because my god....

[buddieisgoingcanon2024]

I’m sick and tired of hearing “buddie is never going to happen” because buck is with tmmy. Like I’m sorry. It pisses me off so much because for those who have watch since s1, we have wanted queer buck for SO LONG and we always were told “you guys are delusional” or “it’s never gonna happen” by the GP AND the SR”. IN IN INTERVIEWS canonically, at the time, THEY ALL talked about buck as STRAIGHT. 9-1-1 s1 came out in 2018 and here we are in 2024. It took them 6 years to make bi buck. As a buddie and someone who viewed these characters as queer coded, i always knew on FOX, it wasn’t going to happen. But now on ABC they made bi buck in ONE EPISODE. ONE!! Of course you are going to see posts about BuckTommy because people they are a couple who touch and kiss. We are to believe in a heteronormative society, that’s what shows you aS bi/queer/gay/etc. what we do know, in the show, the buck and Eddie/Christopher dynamic is the most different from everyone else in the show. Buck and Eddie both have been queer coded from the beginning of the show and NOW we are being policed as to what we are allowed to think? If anything, those same individuals who are policing your thoughts about gay/queer Eddie, they better have been shocked/angry/confused about bi buck if they “NEVER” viewed buck as a queer coded character. They scream “endgame” but yet has less screen time than Natalia. Ali had less but even her character we knew them AS A COUPLE. how are you screaming “endgame” but never did with Ali, Taylor, or Natalia or when buck said “i think she sees me”. Did they forget the way Oliver spoke about Natalia and bucks relationship after the finale? That’s what gets me??? While everyone (myself included) was happy we got bi buck and (yes even Tommy), but that was BEFORE i remembered who he was as a character. You need to ask, Are people excited because Buck is bi and dating/kissing tommy or simply because he’s a bisexual character who happens to be DATING A MAN. I’ve seen more of those people who ship BuckTommy, defend Tommy previous actions but then blame buck for his and don’t LOOK INTO the relationship for what it is. Becuase if they did, if Tommy was a FEMALE LI, her character would be getting ripped to shreds. Not dressing up. The disgusting comments. Not caring for buck. I can go on lol.

but if he was simply the “fun uncle” why did they make buck be the one to tell Christopher what happened to his dad? Why make Chris call buck when his dad was breaking down. Why did Chris leave to buck on the chances of his dad dating again. Why does the show continue to have buck be involved in HUGE moments in Chris’s life. Why involve buck in 7x10. Why CONTINUE to have him be there with the Diaz family? When Christopher left. Why? Why? Why? Why have the show allude to “good cop bad cop” and BOTH answering no. Why, “he takes Christopher there all the time” (the zoo). Why does buck essentially have be there, for Chris, after his dad is in the hospital ? Carla was already there and yet he’s there? Eddie has the breakdown? Buck takes him to school. Buck helping Chris with his school projects/homework? Buck Diaz having multiple dinners together? That’s the fun uncle? Where is all this with bucks own niece? Last but not least, they LOVE to use “Buck is a scapegoat” in 7x10 but Eddie himself says to Buck “I-I don't need you to explain it to him, I just...I need you to check in on him. I'm worried. He won't come out”. There he is never one asking anything of buck but to simply see how Chris is doing after everything. NEVER does he try to sway Chris’s opinions or trick him or anything of the sort. It reminds me of the talk Chris and buck had in earlier seasons of where Chris ran to buck. And buck and Chris simply had a heartfelt talk. Where is dynamic between chimney and Denny? They had 1 SCENE throughout the whole 7 seasons. Chim and hen have been friends LONGER. Where there the dinners scenes. Where are the school projects?

This season unfournately had 10 episodes. They did bi buck in 1 episode. BuckTommy had 3 dates (failed pizza date), second coffee date (where Buck gets Tommy order wrong and invites him to the wedding literally days after coming out?(SPEEDING RUNNING THE RELATIONSHIP) and then the dinner scene. 2 kisses. That’s it. Nothing special in comparison to his previous relationships. I’m sorry. This season in terms of Eddie, he also SPED RUN (or attempted) to with M. He moved her in quicker than when he was dating Ana. And yet, when he saw all her boxes, when does he do? Asks her to move out”. But why? It shows he’s more interested in her than Ana right? What gets me, is, in both relationship, specially Ana, they were lovely. I liked them together. What stopped them from being married. If Eddie ONLY wants a mother role for Christopher, there was his oppporotuinity. But just like Shannon told Eddie “i don’t need a provider, i need a husband”. If Eddie and Ana, were to get married, he would need to be IN LOVE WITH HER. Not only become a “step mom” to Chris. Eddie admitting he has catholic guilt. This season, AGAIN, was a continuation of Eddie doing for Christopher. He wants Christopher to have a “mother role”. Going into s8, this will be the first time, he has no girlfriend and NO CHRISTOPER. When was the last time this? Oh i didn’t know? Maybe before HE MET SHANNON!! Eddie had to grow up at the age of 10. He had to be “the man of the house”. He wasn’t allowed to be like his friends. Why he allowed to cry, was he allowed to express any emotions? This was at the age of 10. I can see this season Eddie going back to his childhood and having the opportunity to understand who is he WITHOUT his son and a partner.

I desperately hope we get an Eddie Begins Again episode this season… like you said. It would do him a lot of good to see what went wrong before he knew Shannon and had Chris. It would also make for some amazing Buddie moments interspersed with young Eddie moments.

[begebege28]

This is by no means hate to this individual, but I’m sick and tired of hearing “buddie is never going to happen” because buck is with tmmy. Like I’m sorry. It pisses me off so much because for those who have watch since s1, we have wanted queer buck for SO LONG and we always were told “you guys are delusional” or “it’s never gonna happen” by the GP AND the SR”. IN IN INTERVIEWS canonically, at the time, THEY ALL talked about buck as STRAIGHT. 9-1-1 s1 came out in 2018 and here we are in 2024. It took them 6 years to make bi buck. As a buddie and someone who viewed these characters as queer coded, i always knew on FOX, it wasn’t going to happen. But now on ABC they made bi buck in ONE EPISODE. ONE!! Of course you are going to see posts about BuckTommy because people they are a couple who touch and kiss. We are to believe in a heteronormative society, that’s what shows you aS bi/queer/gay/etc. what we do know, in the show, the buck and Eddie/Christopher dynamic is the most different from everyone else in the show. Buck and Eddie both have been queer coded from the beginning of the show and NOW we are being policed as to what we are allowed to think? If anything, those same individuals who are policing your thoughts about gay/queer Eddie, they better have been shocked/angry/confused about bi buck if they “NEVER” viewed buck as a queer coded character. They scream “endgame” but yet has less screen time than Natalia. Ali had less but even her character we knew them AS A COUPLE. how are you screaming “endgame” but never did with Ali, Taylor, or Natalia or when buck said “i think she sees me”. Did they forget the way Oliver spoke about Natalia and bucks relationship after the finale? That’s what gets me??? While everyone (myself included) was happy we got bi buck and (yes even Tommy), but that was BEFORE i remembered who he was as a character. You need to ask, Are people excited because Buck is bi and dating/kissing tommy or simply because he’s a bisexual character who happens to be DATING A MAN. I’ve seen more of those people who ship BuckTommy, defend Tommy previous actions but then blame buck for his and don’t LOOK INTO the relationship for what it is. Becuase if they did, if Tommy was a FEMALE LI, her character would be getting ripped to shreds. Not dressing up. The disgusting comments. Not caring for buck. I can go on lol.

For example, ppl view buck as the “fun uncle” to Chris BUT

but if he was simply the “fun uncle” why did they make buck be the one to tell Christopher what happened to his dad? Why make Chris call buck when his dad was breaking down. Why did Chris leave to buck on the chances of his dad dating again. Why does the show continue to have buck be involved in HUGE moments in Chris’s life. Why involve buck in 7x10. Why CONTINUE to have him be there with the Diaz family? When Christopher left. Why? Why? Why? Why have the show allude to “good cop bad cop” and BOTH answering no. Why, “he takes Christopher there all the time” (the zoo). Why does buck essentially have be there, for Chris, after his dad is in the hospital ? Carla was already there and yet he’s there? Eddie has the breakdown? Buck takes him to school. Buck helping Chris with his school projects/homework? Buck Diaz having multiple dinners together? That’s the fun uncle? Where is all this with bucks own niece? Last but not least, they LOVE to use “Buck is a scapegoat” in 7x10 but Eddie himself says to Buck “I-I don't need you to explain it to him, I just...I need you to check in on him. I'm worried. He won't come out”. There he is never one asking anything of buck but to simply see how Chris is doing after everything. NEVER does he try to sway Chris’s opinions or trick him or anything of the sort. It reminds me of the talk Chris and buck had in earlier seasons of where Chris ran to buck. And buck and Chris simply had a heartfelt talk. Where is dynamic between chimney and Denny? They had 1 SCENE throughout the whole 7 seasons. Chim and hen have been friends LONGER. Where there the dinners scenes. Where are the school projects?

This season unfournately had 10 episodes. They did bi buck in 1 episode. BuckTommy had 3 dates (failed pizza date), second coffee date (where Buck gets Tommy order wrong and invites him to the wedding literally days after coming out?(SPEEDING RUNNING THE RELATIONSHIP) and then the dinner scene. 2 kisses. That’s it. Nothing special in comparison to his previous relationships. I’m sorry. This season in terms of Eddie, he also SPED RUN (or attempted) to with M. He moved her in quicker than when he was dating Ana. And yet, when he saw all her boxes, when does he do? Asks her to move out”. But why? It shows he’s more interested in her than Ana right? What gets me, is, in both relationship, specially Ana, they were lovely. I liked them together. What stopped them from being married. If Eddie ONLY wants a mother role for Christopher, there was his oppporotuinity. But just like Shannon told Eddie “i don’t need a provider, i need a husband”. If Eddie and Ana, were to get married, he would need to be IN LOVE WITH HER. Not only become a “step mom” to Chris. Eddie admitting he has catholic guilt. This season, AGAIN, was a continuation of Eddie doing for Christopher. He wants Christopher to have a “mother role”. Going into s8, this will be the first time, he has no girlfriend and NO CHRISTOPER. When was the last time this? Oh i didn’t know? Maybe before HE MET SHANNON!! Eddie had to grow up at the age of 10. He had to be “the man of the house”. He wasn’t allowed to be like his friends. Why he allowed to cry, was he allowed to express any emotions? This was at the age of 10. I can see this season Eddie going back to his childhood and having the opportunity to understand who is he WITHOUT his son and a partner.

For reference i added the interviews Oliver talked about buck and Natalia after s6 finale. One would say, screams endgame right? “Things are aligning for them”

[ganseybois]

hello! another prompt? eddie gets a weird, unexpected shovel talk from bobby, then from abuela (???) then from maddie! about HIM AND BUCK? except eddie and buck are just best friends???? (right?) (or are they?) (why is buck being super cagey and awkward?)

"Eddie, I want you to know, that I trust you." Bobby says as Eddie sits down across from him in his office.

"Uh, okay. Thanks." Eddie grins uncertainly. "Is everything okay cap? Did I do something wrong? Cause everything at the scene went fine today-"

"No, no, everything is fine. You didn't do anything wrong." Bobby leans back in his chair. "I just wanted to discuss something--someone with you. Buck, to be precise."

"He's been kinda weird lately," Eddie agrees easily, before Bobby even starts talking. Ever since Buck and Tommy broke up, Buck has been avoiding Eddie, and been a lot less chatty. He's come around, he would never disappoint Chris by staying away, but even when he's at the house, he avoids Eddie's gaze, doesn't speak to him much. It's driving him crazy. Eddie can't exist in a world where Buck acts this way around him, he already feels so wrong.

"You know," Bobby says lightly, looking at him kindly. "I know all about love, Eddie. There's different kinds of it. I thought I'd never love again, not after my family died. But then I found Athena, and I also found the 118, but Buck...he's like my son."

Eddie keeps his smile, despite the fact that he's very confused. "Sure, I know that."

"And if anything were to ever really happen to him, I'd never be the same."

Eddie nods, "I know, me too Bobby. You know how much Buck means to me."

Bobby surveys him. "Do you know how much you mean to him, Eddie?" he asks carefully.

"Course," he says, missing the point entirely. "He's my best friend...Bobby, what's this about?"

Bobby smiles sadly at him - Eddie doesn't understand why. "I want you to take care of him Eddie. I want him to know he has a family, always, right in front of him."

"He does," he replies immediately. "Chris is his son."

Bobby sighs, Eddie still not understanding what the fuck is happening, before he is dismissed. Buck continues to ignore him, continues to avoid him, continues to not look him in the eye. Every time Eddie tries to get his attention, Buck manages to avoid him.

It continues for another week, until Eddie has a break, sitting down with abuela at his kitchen table, as Buck chatters happily with Christopher in the living room.

"Mijo," she grabs his hand, squeezing it as she watches Eddie smile, hearing the laughter. "Aren't you tired?"

"Tired of what?" he asks with a smile, putting his free hand over hers.

"Pretending." she stands up and takes his hand, walking him over to the doorway so that they can look at Chris and Buck, who are setting up video games. "Look at them, Edmundo. Everything you want is right there."

Eddie's gut twists as he watches them. "Abuela..." he turns away, shaking his head. "Don't."

"Edmundo, sit with me," she grabs his hand, and because he's Eddie he can't fucking say no to her, and so he does sit with her at the table, and allows her to keep holding his hand. "Don't you see the beautiful man right in front of you?"

"Abuela," he groans. "Buck is my friend. My best friend, but it's not like that. I know you worry about me, but I'm not lonely. I'm fine."

Except Eddie has been saying the word fine for so long that he doesn't even know what it means.

"Mijo," she uses her free hand to cup his face. "Why are you alone again?"

"I told you abuela, Marisol and I just didn't work. I'm not lonely, though, okay?"

"Haven't you ever wondered why you aren't lonely?" she whispers sadly.

Honestly? Eddie hasn't had to think about - he already knows. For Eddie, he is perfectly content with having no significant other if it means he can stop putting on a show. He is happy to have this - his son, his best friend, in his small house, with nothing but happiness and laughter. Why would he have to do anything else? Why should he bother trying to go out into the world and get a girlfriend just to get one? Why wasn't this enough - to love the life he has right here.

But that doesn't mean more than just that - it doesn't mean he's in love with Buck. He loves Buck, of course, but not in love.

"Abuela," he groans. "Buck is-"

"Your friend, I keep hearing that. But, mijo, that's not what I see. I see a man who continues to drop everything for you. Who finds himself alone again and again and back in your house. A man who takes care of your son like he is your own."

"Abuela, please-"

"Edmundo," she gets up to give him a side hug, pressing him to her body. She sighs so sadly, and it breaks Eddie's heart. "The man of your dreams is right in front of you. Don't make him walk away. He is such a good man, and he deserves kindness and love too, don't you think?"

Eddie can't say anything - he doesn't have the words, his throat is closed tight. But he holds her, because he can't bear to stop, because he can't bear to face himself. It's easier to hide.

A week after that, he finds himself with Maddie. He doesn't know how he got roped into wedding duty with her, but he actually had fun today. He's driving for once, bringing her home, when she decides to bring it up.

And fuck, he wishes people would stop bringing it up.

In the almost three weeks of two different people basically giving him shit, he has had a lot of time to reflect.

Unfortunately, it has made things worse with him and Buck. Now they're both doing everything they can to avoid one another - Buck hasn't even been over in the last couple of days. Eddie can't fucking stand it - he misses him, all the time, like a fucking lung.

See, the thing is, Eddie is excellent at compartmentalizing. So when people take the boxes out of his head and unwrap them, forcing him to look at what he's put away, he can't fucking stop. So in the last week and a bit, he has figured out that he's desperately, whole-heartedly, ridiculously, in love with Evan Buckley.

"So," Maddie says in the car. "Who's your plus one now that you and Marisol broke up?"

Eddie grins, "Jeez, Maddie. What a way to lean into a conversation."

"Well you weren't going to bring it up, so I figured I should."

"I didn't know we had the kind of relationship where we talk about that stuff."

"We don't," she pouts a little, and it reminds him of Buck. "But my brother is being super mopey and annoying, so I figured it was about time to get involved."

Eddie's knuckles get white as he tightens his grip on the wheel. "What do you mean?"

Maddie rolls her eyes. "You're a big boy, Eddie. I'm not going to spell it out for you. But I am going to say this - he is really, really not as strong as he seems. So if you take the leap, which I think you should, just...make sure it's forever. Because with you? Buck won't be able to survive it being anything less than that."

Eddie sighs, "Maddie, it's...complicated."

"Except it's really not." she laughs softly, patting his leg. "You're both just idiots. I say that with all the love in my heart, but it's true. You're both avoiding each other for the same reason, and I'm tired of having my brother mope around my house."

"Is that where he's been?!"

"Yes!" she exclaims with an exasperated laugh. "So, please, for the love of god, get him home. With you, where he belongs."

And, well, Eddie can't say no to the bridge to be, right?

"This is the way to your house, not mine." Buck says, ten minutes later. It's been quiet in the car until then, tension filling the air uncomfortably.

"Astute as always."

"I asked you to bring me home."

"That's what I'm doing."

"But...what?"

Eddie doesn't answer until another ten minutes after that, pulling up into his driveway. He puts the car into park and takes off his seatbelt, turning to face Buck. He takes off his sunglasses and places them on the dashboard. "You've been avoiding me for weeks."

Buck scoffs, looking straight ahead. "Have not."

"You have, and I think I know why."

Buck snorts. "I doubt that."

"Buck," he grabs his shoulder. "Please look at me." When Buck doesn't right away, very clear fear on his expression, Eddie knows he'll have to do it first. That's okay - he may have been in denial with Maddie, but he's been dealing with his feelings for almost three weeks now.

"Buck," he whispers. "I brought you here, because I want you here, with me. This is your home. Me, Chris, we're your home, Buck."

And the thing about Buck? The thing he wants more than anything? To have a home. So when he looks over at Eddie with those beautiful, open, vulnerable eyes, Eddie realizes that Maddie was right - they're just being idiots.

"Eddie..." he whispers.

"Bobby kind of threatened me, your sister called me an idiot, and my own abuela handed reality to me by kicking me in the ass." Eddie laughs softly.

"Eddie, you don't..." he shakes his head. "I'm a lot. I'm-you and Chris, this isn't the family you wanted, right? You...deserve-"

"I deserve someone who is willing to put my kid above everyone else." Eddie interrupts. "I deserve someone who loves me without condition. I deserve someone who will treat me right, I deserve to be happy." he moves his hand to Buck's face, cupping his cheek. "Don't you think that you deserve that too?"

Buck puts his hand over Eddie's. "Is this for real?"

"Realest thing in the world." he smiles. "Can I kiss you?"

Buck breathes a sigh of relief like he's letting go of the biggest possible weight off of his shoulders. "Yes."

So Eddie does, and it's perfect.

[sortasirius]

"Ashes, Ashes" and the Ashes of the 118

Good grief.

(I do talk about suicide in this so please take care of yourselves first <3)

FYI, I'm making an entirely separate post on Eddie. I had too much to say to keep it all in here.

At least they all got their moment with their awards it's fine I'm fine.

I know I sound like a broken record here but I just love Bobby Nash. I just love him. I know he doesn't think he deserves the life he has, that he deserves to be recognized, that he got that medal and immediately thought about his father. I know he believes he's a worse version of him, but he's not. I know we know this, but I just have to say it.

RAVI APPEARANCE!!!!!!!! LOVE YOU RAVI!!!!!!

Hey guys, just fully fucking missed on my first watch that Gerrard calls Tommy a fairy. What the actual fuck. What the fuck.

"Whenever I see some filth I think of you." Chimney Han is the greatest man to ever live, no one else even comes close.

I've got to give the actress who plays the councilwoman her flowers because you could immediately feel how off and sinister her energy was. And the casual "I thought you only had a son." EVIL!!!!

Bobby is so desperate not to have this award that he wanted Athena to be included on it...he truly does not think he deserves the life he has at all. This thing with Amir has brought back those feelings of not deserving to be alive because of how many lives he's ruined...I'm so fucking emo.

Him retiring is the beginning of him self destructing. I'm being dead serious that I immediately understood that he was going to attempt suicide. The retirement, teaching everyone how to do his job when he's gone, giving things away?? I know he told Athena that he wouldn't do that to her but...I think he was going to before she called him out on it.

"I don't have anything more to give." Heartbreaking. Soul crushing, even.

I'll get into the Eddie/Kim...debacle in my other post, but suffice it to say this man was asking to get caught at every turn. Learn to cheat better, my man.

I really don't think Amir had bad intentions in the beginning of the ep. I think he really did want to help Athena, I think he's a good nurse and wants to help people, and would have if he hadn't seen those photos. Those photos that, to him, prove the "happy life" that Bobby has, not knowing how much he's hurting.

"Those aren't the only kids you're raising, Mother Hen," and gesturing to Buck and Eddie......

Yeah okay, they're the youngest, been with the 118 the least amount of time, but then why not Ravi?

Why the character that, just four episodes ago, Hen said "it's about damn time" when he came out to them? Why the character that's so deeply struggling with who he is, what he wants?

I think we know.

I'm just clinging to the 118 family dinner scene because I am terrified that we'll never get another one with everyone.

"You going to see Tommy?"

"Listen...I know we haven't really...talked about him-"

"What's there to talk about? Tommy's good people, he's good for you."

"How do you know that?"

"Because we haven't had to talk about it."

It speaks volumes to me that we don't see Buck talking to his parents about Tommy at all, other than the soot face scene (my beloved). Because they really aren't parents to him. But Bobby? Bobby is.

I've talked about it before, but Buck's journey with his bisexuality is being handled in such a loving, gentle way. This is another thing that all queer people should be able to experience: an accepting and loving conversation about who they are/who they're seeing from a parental figure. And Buck gets to have that. With all the other drama and all the fear and heartbreak going on, none of it surrounds this journey for Buck, and I think that's so, so important.

"Hey Cap? Thanks...for everything."

"It's been my pleasure, kid."

I've been speared through the heart, actually.

The fact that Kim just SHOWS UP to the firehouse? And that BUCK is the one that sees her?????????????? Jail for all involved.

The emotional whiplash to go from the Buck/Eddie scene to the Han/Buckley and Wilson dinner party???? I think I aged 15 years watching this episode.

"Meet me in the kitchen in ten minutes." Pushover dad Chim I know that's right!!!

MARA AND DENNY SIBLINGS SO TRUE!!!!!!!

Sadly this situation with Mara is such a reality. People in power can do whatever the fuck they want, even for a personal vendetta, and no one will say anything against them. Councilwoman you are my fucking enemy.

"You have a beautiful home" AMIR PLEASE DON'T DO THIS BRO I KNOW THIS ISN'T YOU!!!

DAVID AND MICHAEL GOT MARRIED!!!

"Well he's a lucky man. Looks like he's found a great life for himself."

Part of me does think that Amir's potential arson could be a red herring. I do think it's entirely possible that he DID set the house on fire, and maybe it's just me clinging to the idea that he isn't that bad, but it feels...very obvious. Which who knows! Maybe it's meant to.

This scene between Bobby and Athena just reminds me that we really have ANGELA BASSETT and PETER KRAUSE on this show. Insane. Absolutely insane.

"And you're standing on the ledge of a building again Bobby."

You can tell Athena is terrified. She absolutely terrified of losing him.

"I threw it in the trash on our first date."

Hey guys, is it normal to feel like you really know these fictional firefighters and feel like they're a real and huge part of your life? Asking for myself.

Again I want to commend this actress because the general disdain and frightening way the councilwoman acts is incredible but also i HATE HER so jot that down.

"You think very highly of yourself, don't you firefighter Wilson?"

I have to crawl through the screen someone get me IN THERE.

I know the point of the councilwoman bringing all these calls up is to show that she doesn't know and doesn't care about the nuance of the situations, that she's a suit behind a desk that couldn't imagine doing the job that Hen does. She's out for blood and she doesn't care who gets hurt in the process, but boy did it make me mad anyway.

"I think you may want to take that call." EVIL!!!!!!!!

I feel so bad for Mara, and Denny pushing the social worker "don't touch my sister" I burst into tears.

"We are still a family. Even if we aren't under the same roof."

They've fought so hard for Mara, and MARA has fought so hard, only to have one awful person tear her away from a real loving family. GIVE ME A LANDSLIDE OR SOMETHING TAKE THE COUNCILWOMAN OUT SHE NEEDS TO DIE!!!!

And Bobby's horrible dream, of his father, of the medal around his neck being too heavy and painful to carry (I saw someone on twitter say that the weight on his chest was a symptom of his heart attack and I may as well die now).

"I was supposed to save you, kid. Now you've gotta save yourself."

Strangely enough, it was this line, more than anything, that made me feel like we weren't going to lose Bobby next week. It's a mirror to Buck's episode after the lightning, he had to figure out his purpose to wake up, and I feel like the same may be true for Bobby.

Why were there no smoke alarms?????

The burning of the Grant-Nash household felt personal to me, I'm still clinging to the delusion that it was a dream Bobby was having.

Idk y'all that was the most stressful five mins of my life and then BOBBY COLLAPSING FROM A HEART ATTACK??????? I NEED THESE WRITERS TO GO TO JAIL!!!!

That promo? Also some of the most horrifying footage I've ever seen I CAN'T LOSE HIM.

I really do think a major theme of these last two episodes is how we deal with grief. Some of us push it to the side until it all comes bursting out (Eddie), some of us blame ourselves and try to pay penance, whether everything we blame ourselves for is warranted or not (Bobby), some of us throw ourselves into work to try and be better (Amir), sometimes we let the anger get the better of us (Amir again), some of us get so angry that we seek revenge, even if the person we lost was the one really in the wrong (the councilwoman).

In some ways, it feels like the show is saying that grief is inescapable, or maybe that the way we deal with grief is up to us, even if the grief itself isn't avoidable.

I'm hoping and praying that we don't lose Bobby, that he comes out on the other side of this and learns to move forward with his grief.

It's gonna be a really, really long week.

[texasbama]

Hiya I know you're a safe space and I need to get this out, so sorry in advance 🙃.

I see how amazing canon bi buck is for the queer community and I don't mind how it happened in canon. But while I should be happy, I actually kind of feel like I'm mourning? I'm so attached to eddie, maybe unhealthily so, and the ensemble found family dynamic is what first brought me to the show. For a while it's been a struggle having the fandom basically shove buck into every spec or storyline and act like he is a perfect angel and the centre of the universe. But there was always the eddiezers and it was more balanced. But now literally EVERYBODY is all about buck and tommy. It feels like the rest of the show doesn't even exist. I know its only been a couple of days but going on social media now just makes me anxious and idk why really. I'm worried about future eddie storylines, I'm desperate for marisol to disappear, but the vibe is that now buck is bi nothing else matters, we've won apparently, who even cares about eddie or the other characters because buck kissed a man.

Also I'm sex-repulsed ace and people saying how if you don't like it you're a purist and an evangelical and homophobic and biphobic actually makes me feel like shit. I never really understood wanting two characters to have sex 'because why not', because I don't understand why anyone wants to ever lol. I can only read buddie smut in very specific scenarios and most of the time i skip even that. And the rhetoric in a lot of tumblr space recently makes me feel like a bad person for not being all for it 100%. I don't think I've explained myself well here but I tried. You don't have to reply or post this either, I just wanted to reach out to someone in fandom who won't jump down my throat for it 😅. 911 is kind of a hyperfixation of mine so even though I'm trying to stay away as much as possible so as to not make myself more upset but I have no idea what to do with myself otherwise 🫠. Thanks for reading and sorry for unloading on you

Please don’t apologize, im happy you felt like I was a safe space. Im gonna break this into two parts and I hope I can articulate myself correctly lol

1) the first few days after an episode, any episode but especially one like this, isn’t indicative of fandom as a whole. Emotions are heightened due to what happened in the episode. Everyone is screaming about something and it’s in your face ya know? This week something HUGE happened, so yes people are talking about it. It was to be expected. We must make space for people to be happy about it. It’s a beautiful thing and queer joy MUST be celebrated.

This show (for the most part) has done a beautiful job of giving each character their time to shine(some more so than others but thats a conversation for a different day). Coming off 7x04, yes the headline is Bi Buck. And it will continue to be for a while, but it’s important to remember that YOU curate your fandom experience. I don’t blame you at all for what you’re feeling, ESPECIALLY as an Eddie girlie(gn), like I get it! Trust me! I’ve had to carefully maneuver through some emotions this week myself. I’m human! But filtering and being able to step away is everything.

Being excited about the storyline and also hoping and wanting more from other storylines are two things that can be true at the same time. It’s not one or the other. Remember that.

2) im going to say this and just know the caps is because I am just passionate. I promise you, its yelling at you with love okay?

I know it is easier said than done, but don’t you EVER allow ANYONE on this fucking hellsite make you feel less than or that your asexuality is anything but 100% valid. YOU are valid, you hear me?

Okay. I had to make sure to say that first. Whew. Now. As for the fandom piece of it all, we have to remember that there levels to it. You are allowed to feel the way you feel about sex, BUT it’s also important to remember that sex positivity (and those who express it) is also a good and valid. If you feel like there are blogs that talk down to you, imply that YOU are homophobic or biphobic simply because YOU are not doing cartwheels about different sex acts, then block. Unfollow. Do whatever you need to. Those people are scum.

Listen to me *pulls you close*, this is always a safe space. You are a valid, your existence and experiences are valid. And anyone who makes you question that can fuck right off. And lastly, HAPPY ASEXUALITY DAY TO YOU SPECIFICALLY! MUAH! 💜🤍🩶🖤