#and I'm glad I did because each piece was made with love and never out of stress

[thegreatpeanut]

about the way we dream, and live, and love, during this time of our lives called "high school"

My 2024 HQ calendar <School Days> is available for preorder!

thegreatpeanut.bigcartel.com

Aahhh it's been 2 years since my last mp100 calendar project. I really didn’t think it would take this long to complete this new one, but I wanted to take my time to make sure I can really put in the love that this series deserves ;-;

one of my favourite things about haikyuu (and sports anime in general) is the feeling of being in high school and living your day to day with those who are chasing the same dream with you, together. So although this is a haikyuu fanwork calendar, I've put a lot of my feelings about adolescence into it which I hope can be felt universally.

I hope you will be reminded of that springtime SEISHUN feeling of youth throughout 2024 with this calendar !!

I've also updated my shop with lots of new stuff! Thank you very much for checking it out!

[aprilthearcher]

me and you... were meant to be.

[remus lupin x f!reader] [platonic james potter x f!reader]

slytherin!reader (because i myself am one). use of (y/n) (though i tried my best to not overuse it)

angst, but happy ending. remus' insecurities get in the way of your fresh relationship. 3k words.

i haven't written for remus for a long, long time so i tried to do my best because i love him to pieces and recently i've been experiencing a remus lupin era so... here it is. also, that spell she uses to protect her home... i've no idea if it exists, i just liked it.

english is not my first language, so there could be some mistakes. pictures are not mine.

thank you for reading!

i wrote this while listening to "Don't Delete the Kisses" by Wolf Alice and "What if I Love You" by Gatlin.

“What if you and I… What if we were never meant to be?”

“What are you saying, Remus?”

“I'm saying that I don't think we… I don't think it’s good for us to keep seeing each other.”

“But, but why? We are so good right now, we… I’m trying here, Remus, but I don't get it. Why would you do this?”

“I've just told you, we are not meant for each other. You… you des…” He stopped mid sentence. “I don't see you like that anymore, I'm sorry if I made you think otherwise.”

Now, on top of a bus that would drop her off a couple of blocks from her flat, she couldn’t recall a single moment in their short relationship that could’ve propelled something like this. They were good, really good. After dancing around each other for so long during their Hogwarts years, they had finally admitted their feelings one summer afternoon while looking at the sun go down and the moon rise up. Four months later, he was ending it. Salazar, could he have been high? She knew sometimes the boys would smoke those muggle herbs Marlene would bring them, overcharging them of course, but he had never said something so… heartbreaking under their influence. No, he couldn’t have been high, he would become even touchier when he’d smoke some, ignoring his friend’s presence and delighting in the passionate, even primal, effect they’d produce; the lightheaded feeling that allowed him to relax and run his fingers through her arms, her hands, her neck and jaw…

She pressed the palm of her hands against her eyes when they started to water for the fifth time that evening after leaving Dorcas’ apartment complex. Was he so desperate to get rid of her that he couldn’t even wait to do it at home? What would her great-grandmother think of her if she saw her like this? “Crying over a half-blood, a HALF-BREED, you are nothing but a blood traitor. You’ve tainted our legacy, you and your good-for-nothing parents, you are no more worthy than those mudbloods you hang round, affiliating yourself with muggles, living a life surrounded by them." Why did she keep caring about what she would think? She had never shared her views on blood purity and how any wizard or witch that wasn’t part of the Sacred Families would be undeserving of its magic. She hated people like her grandmother. She hated that the old hag had tried to drill these thoughts into her head since a very young age. She was glad she had died and she was glad her parents were nothing like their parents, so why was she remembering her now? Perhaps it was the fear of losing her entire friend group that made her sick mind resort to conjuring the old witch’s voice in her head.

She truly hoped for her great grandmother to be rolling in her grave at the sight of one of her descendants crying over a werewolf and the possibility of losing her entire friend group made up of blood traitors, half-bloods, and muggleborns. 

She knew they weren’t like that, that they wouldn’t isolate her for something like this. Merlin, they didn’t even know, at least until tonight, of their relationship! Though she was sure it wouldn’t take long for them to figure it out after how she had left in such an abrupt manner, without saying goodbye and barely making it to the door without the tears falling down her cheeks. She had left the task of explaining everything to Remus. 

“Lady, this is the last stop!” The bus driver called out from the front of the vehicle.

Fuck. Fuck. Fuck.

Fuck Remus Lupin for breaking her heart, for making her cry and making her miss her bus stop. Fuck him for making her feel so in love she left her guard down, fuck him for assuring her that he could trust him. 

Although she had planned to take the muggle bus to get her mind off things and not get home immediately — for she was sure her lonely flat would make her feel worse, for she was sure there was one of Remus’ sweater idle placed on the back of an armchair she was hoping to return tonight after he’d accompanied her home —, she had not anticipated missing her stop and having to walk ten or so blocks home. It was not that she felt unsafe wandering through London this late, but she just felt emotionally exhausted.

She almost jogged all the way home, not wanting to encounter any trouble on her way home for she was not in the right state of mind for fighting anyone, muggle or not. Though, perhaps, the rush of adrenaline that would come from a brawl would bring her back to life, a little at least. 

She’d taken two steps into the hallway when she saw the light coming from her flat. Stopping on her tracks, she got her wand out of her leather holster strapped in her left shoulder and approached her door. Good thing she had opted to climb the stairs instead of apparating inside; if she were to be ambushed, she wouldn’t have had any time to prepare. 

With the whisper of an incantation the door opened slowly. For a moment, she forgot about Remus and the only thing on her mind was to find out who was inside her home. Her mind was reeling with ideas. Death eaters. 

Death eaters. Death eaters. Death eaters.

But how? She had secured the place with some, if not all, of the best protective spells. Dorcas had helped her set them up. The locks were unbreachable, as well as the magical barriers protecting the walls from all sides, there were only two people that could apparate inside, her and…

“Prongs?”

She had chosen James as the only other person to be able to apparate inside her home. The spell was infallible and it had taken them several months of hard work, but it was worth it since not even someone who had induced the polyjuice potion, impersonating James, could get in. 

She saw him pacing round her living room, his fingers twirling his wand in the air, a trick she had seen muggle musicians do when playing the drums. He stopped once he saw her, quickly coming to wrap one arm around her frame while the other pushed the door closed. The hiss of the invisible sigils increased for a second.

“I thought something had happened to you on the way home, you took so long. Why did you take so long? I was worried sick.”

“Merlin, James, the baby is making you act just like your mother.”

“Shut up, I was genuinely worried. Was about to go searching for you.”

“I took the bus but missed my stop, so I had to walk.”

He nodded, relaxing a bit now that he saw his best friend was okay. Physically, at least. Her emotions were still all over the place, her heart had calmed down and decided to break again after realising there were no intruders in her home. 

“What happened back then, dove? With Remus? You, you just run away.”

“I think you know what happened, James.” She said, while hanging her coat in the rack and taking out her boots. She knew he knew, he wouldn’t have left Dorcas’ flat without an explanation from Remus after seeing her so distressed.

James sighed. Even though her own feelings were messed up, she could still realise this was a difficult position for James, and the rest of them, to be in. (Y/N) and James had been friends since they were young, younger than now at least, knowing each other because their parents introduced them the summer before beginning their third year at Hogwarts. She was a Slytherin thus making it hard for the boy to trust her, even at that age, but one stern look from his mother Euphemia had the boy overcoming his prejudice against her in a heartbeat. It had been quite impossible to separate them since then, which meant introducing her to the rest of his friends. Sirius had been apprehensive, Peter quite terrified… Remus… Remus had been intrigued, you could say. All of his previous interactions with Slytherins hadn’t been pleasing, but this was the girl he had Transfiguration with, who would raise her hand faster than anyone and answer correctly, getting all the spells right on her first try. This was the girl he had glanced at maybe once — he definitely did more than glance — at the library, carrying way too many books for her on one hand while the other, holding her wand, pointed to the floating pile of heavier tomes behind her. 

Remus is also one of his best friends, the four of them are like brothers. She couldn’t deny she was quite surprised to see James here, attempting to comfort her instead of him.

He still had his arm around her shoulders when they started to walk towards the kitchen. If James intended to stay then she was in dire need of some tea to pass the bad taste the fight had left in her mouth. He would want to hear her side of the story. Turning to light up the room, she saw pints of red covering James’ knuckles. She disengaged from his hug, positioning her body in front of his then grabbed his hand, harshly. She heard him wince. His eyes scrunched and his lips closed in a thin line, she knew. He knew that she knew.

“Did any of his teeth fall out?” She pressed her fingers to his bloodied knuckles.

“No, but… Ow! Would you stop that?” He tried to release his hand from his grasp, she tightened her hold.

“I don’t need you defending me, James.”

“You’re my best friend, of course I’ll…”

“He’s your best friend too!” She yelled. Salazar, she was pathetic. Defending the boy who crushed her heart no more than two hours ago. “I don’t want you fighting my battles for me, James, especially when it’s against one of your friends.”

“I’m sorry, dove, you are like a sister to me. I couldn’t help it.”

“It’s not like he did anything wrong though. He… he is allowed to change his mind. I - I was the one to get too caught up. I shouldn’t have, I shouldn’t have…”

“I didn’t punch him because he ‘changed his mind’, dove. I punched him because he was lying about that.”

“James…”

“No, no, listen. Listen to me.” He grabbed her face, wiping the new set of tears that had begun to cascade down her face. “I know Remus and I know that he loves you, that he’s loved you since you jinxed one of the fourth years after bad mouthing Peter, perhaps even before that. He’s not telling the truth and he’s pushing you away because he’s terrified of how much he loves you. That’s why I hit him, thought it’d make him realise he cannot lose you.”

“Salazar, you really are your mother.” James laughs at your comment, heart soaring with desperation at the new turn of events. He knew something more was going on with Remus and (Y/N) as of the last couple of months because James Potter was observant and this new bond didn’t look like the shy glances they’d throw from across the Hall during their Hogwarts’ years. These were slow, delicate touches; soft smiles and bodies that would look to be close to each other every chance they got. So he wanted nothing more than for his friends to be happy; although he should’ve seen Remus’ self-sabotaging tendencies coming because he knew all of his friends like the back of his hand, he didn’t. He blamed the uprising war for that. He blamed it for everything, from clouding Remus’ judgement more than ever to forcing him and Lily, and consequently the rest of the Order, to be constantly on the lookout for danger. None of them had had a good night’s sleep for months now. 

“You should still apologise, you’ve been friends for years and I…” 

Rapid, loud knocks against her front door interrupted (Y/N). She and James looked at each other, he had a hunch of who it might be but getting his wand at the ready didn’t hurt. (Y/N) had the same idea, she started to move towards the entrance with her arm up, wand always pointing at the door.

“Who is it?” The banging stopped.

“It’s … It’s me, Rem - Remus. I - I.” She could hear him shuffling outside, as if he were moving round the place, jumping from one foot to another; he probably was. “It's really me, I - I got you that black leather holster for your wand as a gift. You bought the rug on your bedroom floor in a flea market last month, you said it reminded you of the one you had back home. Your favourite colour is red and you hated yourself for it because James always joked how you should’ve been in…”

“Gryffindor.” By the time Remus had been at the end of his ranting, she had unlocked the door and opened it all the way, hitting the rag on the way. 

“Yeah, but green always looked better on you.” Remus looked at her face, he could see the trail of black makeup going from her eyes to her chin. She must’ve felt his stare because in a swift movement she got rid of the marks, or at least she tried to. It smudged a bit more than he knew she would’ve preferred. 

“You’ve got blood on your face.” She said.

“I know, I - I tripped down the…” Remus tried to explain while cleaning the blood with the back of his sweater. She could’ve told him she’ll clean it up for him with the touch of a finger. She didn’t.

“You don’t have to cover for him, I know James punched you.”

“Damn right I did.” She heard from inside the flat. James was leaning against the arch that separated the living room from the kitchen, arms crossed over his chest and a look that must’ve frightened Remus because of how he bent his head down and then looked up again, nodding as to show he’d understood his lesson. (Y/N) stared at James with an eyebrow raised, he sighed and then said: “I’m going to get Lily back at Dorcas’. See you, dove.” With a crack in the air, James disappeared.

“What I said, earlier, it - it wasn’t true.” Remus began once they had settled on her velvet green sofa. She had found it on the street, a bit tattered but nothing magic couldn’t repair. “I’m an idiot but I’m just so scared. So frightened that.. that what I - what I am will put a higher target behind your back. I’m a half-breed, a monster, and people like me … No, no let me finish. People like me don’t deserve someone as pure as you so I thought…”

“You thought pushing me away, breaking my heart, would solve any of that?”

“Well, yes! If I’m not putting you in danger during the full moon, then I’m putting you in danger because they - they won’t hesitate to come after you if you are with me.”

“You bloody git. They are after all of us, even if we aren’t together, they’ll still come after me…”

“You don’t know that.”

“What are you saying, Remus? I’m a blood traitor in their eyes, my best friend is a muggleborn. My own great-grandmother would put me on the ground if she could see me right now so don’t try to make me understand you with this bullshit. You may be scared of love, of loving me, but I’m not. I love you and I’ve loved you for so long that I’m not going to give you up, not at times like this. I don’t care that you’re a werewolf, I’ve never cared. And I get that it’s hard for you, that you feel guilty when we try to alleviate your pain, but I’m fucking exhausted that you think I won’t be able to handle it, to handle you and your transformations.” She inched her face closer to his, a hand moving up to cradle his jaw while the other grabbed his hand. “I chose to be with you, knowing full well that it wouldn’t be easy and not because you’re a werewolf but because you are an insufferable arsehole who doesn’t let people in, who is afraid of hurting others while not realising that he’s still hurting them when he pushes them away.”

He didn’t respond, he just leaned further on the touch of her hand. It grounded him. How was he able to think, even for a second, that he would survive without her light-feathered touch, without her hands running through his hair or his arms that would give him goosebumps?

“I thought that you had grown tired of me or that you had never loved me the way I loved you. That you’d thought I wasn’t loyal to the Order, that somehow I would…”

“No, no, no. I’d never, (Y/N), truly, I’d never. I got lost, I- I thought someday you would realise how you had ruined your life by spending it alongside… me. You could do so much better, and yet…”

“I’m sure there are men out there, wizards or not, that are less frightened at the idea of love than you are, Remus. But they’re surely not you, because they’re not as funny, or smart, or witty, or sensible, or great as you. I’d probably get bored of them within the hour and then I’d be lost because you wouldn’t be beside me. The only man I want is you. No one else. You drill that into your head or next time you try to pull a stunt like this I’ll kill you.”

“Got it.” He whispered before leaning in even closer, his lips barely brushing hers. He wanted to be sure she was okay with this; he wanted to be absolutely sure he hadn’t completely messed up their relationship but for that he needed her to confirm it; to accept his apology. She did, sealing their lips desperately, trying to transmit everything she had just said but with a kiss. She had been so terrified that the only way to have him in her life would be through meetings to discuss missions and war plans; that she would never get to touch him, to kiss him, to hold him after a rough full moon again. “You wouldn’t actually kill me, right?” 

“No, but I would tell James to punch ten times harder.”

“Please don’t, he’s got a sick hook.”

“Then you better behave.”

She kissed him again, deeper this time. Their lips moved synchronised, familiar with each other; her hands travelled all the way up to his hair while his circled around her waist, bringing her closer. Chest against chest, with her legs propped up into his lap, they stayed like that for a long time before Remus laid her down on the sofa.

[burntheedges]

Pas de Deux Chapter 4

Din Djarin x f!reader | 2.6k | fic masterlist | main masterlist | ao3

chapter summary: It's time for your first practice with Kuiil and Din, and you're nervous.

a/n: I feel weird putting this up today but this is the schedule I set and I'm a little afraid that if I put it off I'll just never post anything again. I'm gutted and angry but I do love this fic, so. here's the next chapter. See my notes at the end and on the masterlist about reader in this fic and ballet in general. Thank you @katareyoudrilling for being the best beta, as always!!

chapter tags/warnings: gen, ballet terms (see end notes and the masterlist for definitions and videos), a bit of angst, a bit of fluff

Chapter 4

You didn’t try to talk to Din again for a few days -- you were suddenly nervous. Adrian said he kept watching you during morning classes, but you hadn’t caught him in the act yet. For your part, you couldn’t stop yourself from watching him, so you figured he must not have been looking that much, because you would have seen him. Right?

You tried to put your stilted conversation with him in the hallway out of your mind. You didn’t want to let it get in your head before practices even started. 

On Monday the following week, you were walking down the hall from class to rehearsal when Kuiil fell into step with you. You briefly glanced around, wondering where he’d come from, and smiled when he greeted you.

“I am looking forward to working together.” The echo of your words to Din made you smile, ruefully. As always, Kuiil was direct but his tone was warm. “I am glad Greef agreed with me about casting. I know you will do well.”

You blinked. You thought it had been Karga’s idea. “Oh, well, thank you! I didn’t realize… he didn’t tell me it was your choice.”

Kuill nodded serenely. “Yes. You were my first thought to dance it with Din, when I began to picture it in my mind. You will each bring something important to the piece, something the other could learn from. Something you can share.”

You nodded, even though you weren’t exactly sure what he meant. You were used to that, when talking to Kuiil. “I’m very excited to be in it, and grateful that you thought of me. I’m honored, really.” 

He smiled at you as you stopped by the door of your rehearsal for Jee’s piece in the January mixed program. “We will start rehearsal this week, I will update the schedule on the board this afternoon. Before our first meeting, I only ask that you reflect on the idea of existing in the moment, and what that means for you personally and artistically.”

You blinked. This wasn’t your first unexpected request from Kuiil, but it was somehow always a surprise — you could never predict him, and once he was done talking, he was done. There was no use asking for more of an explanation. “I will,” you promised. He nodded and turned to continue down the hallway.

Existing in the moment. Well, you weren’t sure where to start, but you were going to have to try and figure it out before your first rehearsal.

…

On Thursday afternoon, you made your way to the small studio usually reserved for pieces with only two or three dancers. Kuill had scheduled short weekly practices to start focusing on the choreography while everyone was still busy with the upcoming programs for January and February. Adrian had escorted you until you passed his own rehearsal a couple of doors back, and you were glad he had — you’d needed the pep talk.

You can do this. 

The door was open when you arrived and you stopped just short to take a few deep breaths. As you did, you realized Din was already inside and you could just hear his low conversation with Kuiil

“… never done something like this before. I—”

Kuiil interrupted him. “Din. You must try to set your worries aside. I know what you have done and what you have not. And I know that you can do this. You must learn to trust in yourself, not in who they said you were. Instead, in who you are.”

There was a pause, and you tried to will yourself to move, but failed. You wanted to hear his response.

“I—” he sighed. “I’ll try. But you know…”

“I know,” Kuiil agreed. You had no idea what they were talking about. You shook yourself into motion — you didn’t want to eavesdrop too much.

You tried to make some noise as you took the last few steps to the open doorway and into the studio. They both turned to look at you as their conversation suddenly stopped.

“Hello, my dear,” Kuiil said, waving you forward. You said hello and moved to meet them by the sound system, dropping your bag nearby. “Welcome.”

You nodded. “Thank you again, Kuiil—”

He waved his hand and you stopped, smiling. You knew what he was going to say. 

“No, no, none of that. You are the best choice. And you, too, Din.” Kuiil turned to look at your new partner and you noticed that whatever they might have been discussing, Din had put on his expressionless mask yet again. He nodded.

“Now, we will talk before we dance.” Kuiil looked first at you, and then at Din. “Tell me, what does it mean to you, to exist in the moment?”

You felt relieved for a moment that you weren’t the only one given homework, and then nervous at the thought of sharing what you’d thought about. With one glance at Din you knew he wouldn’t be speaking first. Guess it’s on me, you thought, wryly, and squared your shoulders. 

“Well,” you said, tone tentative. “I thought about it, as you asked. I thought of the obvious — not thinking of the future or the past, but only the present. But then in class and in rehearsal I wasn’t sure how that applied because, well, dance is always in the moment, in some ways. It’s an action, it’s happening right now, even though it can reference and build on both the past and future.”

You paused and glanced up at Kuiil. He was nodding. Ok, good. You didn’t look at Din. “And so I thought about it yesterday, in my rehearsal alone for Midsummer and then with everyone for Jee’s piece. And…” you hesitated, and finally risked a glance at Din. You were almost startled to find him staring at you intently, eyes dark and unreadable. You blinked. “And I thought about the difference between being on stage alone and with other people. We dance the choreography, of course, but we also react. To each other and to the music.” You paused.

Kuiil tilted his head. “Go on.”

You took a breath. “Well, being in the moment in dance is more than just following steps you were taught. You have to be aware of your fellow dancers, and you have to move with them but also in response to them, and to yourself. And depending on the ballet, your ability to react or modulate or adjust or improvise could make or break it. But aside from all that, it also puts you in conversation with each other and the music. There’s a difference between dancers moving on stage in unison and dancers moving and working together, even if they’re doing different things. Does that…” you hesitated again, glancing between them. “Does that makes sense?”

Suddenly, Kuiil smiled, and you felt your shoulders relax. “Yes, my dear. An excellent observation. Din?”

You both turned to look at him. For a moment, he said nothing, and you wondered if he really hated talking this much. Then he looked down and murmured, “I agree.” He glanced at you and you shivered. To Kuiil, he said, “The best performances happen when the dancers inhabit the music. Together. When they speak to each other in movement.”

Kuiil nodded. “A sentiment I think your former company might disagree with.”

Din sighed and for a moment you thought you caught the hint of a smile around his mouth. But you blinked and it was gone. 

“True,” he nodded. “And it wouldn’t be our first disagreement.”

Kuiil nodded like he understood, and you resisted the sudden, overwhelming urge to ask what other disagreements he’d had with Concordia.

“Well done,” Kuiil said, looking at both of you. “I want you to continue thinking about this question as we work together. This will not be like a classical pas de deux,” he looked at Din, who nodded, “but instead something new. Some parts may be familiar. This piece will have three movements, each staged separately, and it will be difficult. Technically, yes, but also because of what I will ask of you.” He paused, and you felt your heart start to race, not with nerves, but with excitement. “The choreography will ask you to react to one another, at first as strangers, but later in harmony. It will be dynamic. First you will meet,” he gestured with his hands and moved them past one another. “Then you will circle each other,” he moved his hands around each other, sometimes coming closer, sometimes moving farther away. “And finally, you will come together and create something new.” He pressed his hands together and nodded. “Overall, it is about the connection you form and nurture between you, in these short moments together.”

No one spoke for a moment as you took that in. “That sounds beautiful, Kuiil.” Your mind was spinning as you thought of the possibilities for each part of the piece, and what it might look like on stage. 

“Thank you, my dear. I believe it is the two of you who will make it so. Now, for today’s practice, we will listen to the first movement, and then I will send you home to listen to the rest. Focus on what you hear and we will talk about it after.” He turned to the sound system and your gaze drifted once more to find Din, to your right.

You found him already looking at you. Your eyes caught, and as the music started, you swore he might have started to smile.

…

You felt better after your first not-quite-practice with Kuiil. You hadn’t danced at all but you felt more sure of yourself and the piece. 

The only thing you weren’t sure of was Din.

After rehearsal he had once again left quickly, and Kuiil had nodded at you as you followed Din out the door. He had already been halfway down the hallway when you stepped out.

A few hours later, you finished with PT and went looking for Adrian — he had promised you dinner (and a debrief) and you weren’t going to let him get out of it. You found him talking to Owen and pulled him away. 

“Sorry! He promised to feed me and I’m starving.”

Owen laughed, waving you away. You tucked your arm through Adrian’s and dragged him towards the street. 

“So,” he said, elbowing you. You elbowed him back. “How was it?”

You opened your mouth to respond, but weren’t sure where to start.

“Oh come on,” he said, when it took you too long to respond. You looked at him, confused. “I bet you haven’t even learned any choreo yet and you’re already in love with it.”

You rolled your eyes. “We talked about the piece and his vision for it.”

“Oooh, his vision,” Adrian teased you, and you laughed. “You’re so lucky getting to do this with, like, your favorite choreographer. It’s going to be so amazing, too, because I swear the two of you are on the same artistic wavelength. But what about your partner?”

You shrugged and you both stepped out onto the street and you smiled. “I’ll tell you all about it over dinner. Come on, you have to feed me.”

He laughed and tugged you down the street.

…

The following week you had a shortened rehearsal with Kuiil, due to the start of the January mixed program in the next few days. But it only took a few minutes for your tentative hope and confidence about the whole thing to start to slip.

You turned, holding your position in attitude, and began to draw inwards, collapsing your body as Kuiil had asked. Before you could begin the extension of the next movement, though, the music stopped. 

“Hold on,” Kuiil called. “Take a moment, both of you. Breathe.” 

You stood up straight and closed your eyes. You took a deep breath, trying not to hear his words as sharp criticism. 

It wasn’t going well.

The first movement of the piece was all about meeting someone new — someone with a different style, someone who moved in a different way. Unlike a classical pas de deux, it started with the variations, with solo moments on stage for each of you that played to each of your strengths. Then Kuiil had you meet each other for the first time. It emphasized your differences in ways that showcased your talents, but at the same time those strengths drew you apart. You were supposed to move past each other, to miss each other, but then somehow to catch each other’s attention anyway. By the end of the first, you were just starting to be pulled into each other’s orbit, intrigued but wary, unsure of the nature of the tiny connection you formed.

But you both seemed to be having trouble with the idea of being in the moment separately, yet still somehow together.

You knew you would start alone, dancing in turns, and wouldn’t even share the stage until a few minutes in. But rather than start with that solo choreography, Kuiil had started this first rehearsal with the choreography for the first few moments you were on stage together. You started up stage left with a turn into a full extension that became an arabesque en pointe. From there you ‘fell’ to the floor and rolled before standing and turning into a leap. Then a series of jumps and turns took you across the stage towards Din. 

Din, on the other hand, started in the wings from stage right and burst into action. While you were moving slowly through your extension and arabesque, he came flying onto the stage in a double saut de basque en dedan. From there he twisted and turned until he was supposed to cross paths with you.

You’d only learned a few counts of 8, and yet somehow you could both tell it wasn’t working. Whatever you’d managed so far, it wasn’t what Kuiil had envisioned. It felt disjointed. And the more frustrated you felt, the more you knew it would show in your body. You could feel it, and you could definitely see Din’s frustration almost radiating off of him in waves.

After a moment, Kuiil called you over to where he was standing. “Even though we start this piece with the two of you emphasizing different styles, you are still talking to one another. From the first moment, when you meet, you are interacting, you are curious. You are not dancing separately, no matter how tentative, no matter how new or foreign or hesitant the connection might be. You affect each other from the moment you meet. Your bodies cannot lie on stage.” 

He sighed, and you felt your shoulders tense.

“I want you both to practice until next week, and to think about how to form that connection.” He looked at Din, whose spine was so taut you wondered if it hurt. “But let us stop for now. I know you have your solo variations this weekend, Din, and you, my dear, have Jee’s piece. Go and focus on those things, and next week we will try again.”

You bit your lip and nodded. You opened your mouth to apologize, but he waved you both towards the door. “No, no, it is only the beginning. Do not worry, we will find it.”

You nodded. You needed to get out of this room, to get your mind ready for the next rehearsal. For the performance awaiting you over the weekend. As you stepped into the hall you heard Din begin to speak to Kuiil, but you walked quickly away. Eavesdropping definitely wasn’t going to help you clear your mind, this time.

...

prev | next

a/n: uh oh 👀 now what? some ballet terms:

Kuiil mentions that this pas won't be like a classical pas de deux -- as I mentioned last time, classical pas de deux have certain recognizable parts. This one is a bit more inventive.

attitude (derriere) - a position with one leg extended with the knee bent at a 90 degree angle, usually turned out. in this case reader is doing it to the back (derrière) and en pointe (on her toe shoes). here's a video!

extension - reader mentions the 'extension of the next movement' -- she's starting in attitude derrière, collapsing inwards, and then extending her leg back out into arabesque (next bullet), all en pointe.

arabesque en pointe - similar to an attitude but with the leg straight rather than bent. here's a very short video of basically the position reader is about to do.

leap - a leap is a broader term that can be used for a variety of jumps in ballet, but in this case reader is supposed to turn into a saut de chat -- a leap where the front leg does a developpe. (the video shows this well)

double saut de basque en dedans (~0:28) - Din enters the stage doing one of these. The video has a few different impressive jumps but this one is one of my favs, tbh. He's turning in the air twice with one foot touching the knee of the other leg, which is straight. 'En dedans' refers to the direction of the turn (towards the supporting leg, the one that stays straight). Here's Baryshnikov doing one.

counts of 8 - reader refers to learning a few counts of 8. In dance we count in 8s (what anyone musically inclined would think of as two 4/4 bars) and you often learn new choreography in 8s, or 8 beats. it's just the unit of measure everyone uses (which would obviously change if the time signature of the music was different). I've heard a lot of explanations for it (can tie more movements together, more room for choreography, easier to break down the moments between the beats) but honestly I don't know the historical reason. lol

music - Kuiil has chosen a piece with three movements. I actually have one in mind but I'm torn on sharing it because it's not like, 100% right, but mostly. I've choreographed a lot of this thing in my head. 😂

tag list coming in a reblog!

[astarion-approves]

Hello! I love your blog! Could you possibly do a drabble with a tav that gets really flustered/panics when flirted with or complimented trying to converse with Astarion?

Even I was swooning

Astarion x Gender Neutral Tav

Summary: They knew that he would just be standing there… handsomely. Flicking through the pages of his book, the contents of which were unknown to Tav but they liked to imagine it was a steamy romance novel. Those flame filled eyes scanning over the pages, uncaring of what anyone else did with their evenings. Until he caught Tav staring that is. (Or Astarion uses cheesy pickup lines to try and woo Tav) Tags: Love Confessions, Flustered Tav, Soft Astarion, Attempt at Humor, Fluff, Bickering, Drabble, Tumblr request, Cheesy, cheesy pickup lines, all of which I'm very proud of, gender neutral reader, 1.2k words

Read below or on Ao3

While, after a day of killing goblins and fighting a hag in a swamp, a night at camp sounded like a relief for most; that wasn’t the case for Tav. They busied themselves, building a fire, carefully stacking each piece of wood while keeping their eyes low and forcing themselves not to look up to where Astarion stood. 

They knew that he would just be standing there… handsomely. Flicking through the pages of his book, the contents of which were unknown to Tav but they liked to imagine it was a steamy romance novel. Those flame filled eyes scanning over the pages, uncaring of what anyone else did with their evenings. 

Until he caught Tav staring that is. 

Each night was the same. Tav would stack spare logs nearby, build a fire on their knees, and help Gale to set up any cooking supplies, all while desperately fighting the urge to look up and lock eyes with Astarion. And each night they failed miserably.  

Astarion knew the moment Tav’s eyes were on him, his eyes jumping up from the pages and staring right back at them, a smirk growing on his lips and he snapped the book closed. Then he would stroll over, running a hand through his hair and swapping that smirk for a charming smile. 

Then the flirting would begin. A different line every night, each one cheesier than the last, but still managing to make Tav blush—

“Is that fire hot? Or is it just you?” 

“I do love seeing you on your knees, darling.” 

“You handle that wood quite well.”

“Is something burning? No? Perhaps it’s just your burning loins.” 

Of course tonight was no different. Tav cursed to themselves as Astarion made his way over. They would always attempt to ignore him, to pretend that they never locked eyes and that Tav didn’t notice him approaching. Gale stood off to the side, the wizard prepping their dinner and already accustomed to the little game that Astarion loved to play. He sighed as he chopped a few potatoes, mumbling under his breath how Tav lasted even shorter than usual. 

The crunching of boots over rocks and dirt signaled his arrival, but Tav kept their eyes on the fire, refusing to look up—

For as long as they could manage anyway. 

“Tav, If you inhale too much smoke, I’ll gladly give you CPR.” 

“What?!” Gale turned from his prepping and tossed his knife to the side. “Astarion, that one doesn’t even make sense!” 

“Mind your business, Gale.” Tav finally looked up to where he stood, Astarion now glaring at Gale with his arms crossed over his chest. “Or well.. I mean.. Honestly, I’m running out of pickup lines here. I’d like to see you come up with something better.” 

“How about ‘Stop, drop, and… roll into bed with me?” Gale offered. 

“Hm. Too forward. I try to be more subtle with Tav, but.. I can understand why someone like you would use a line like that.” 

“Right……. Because offering mouth to mouth is much more subtle.” 

“I’m so glad we could agree!” 

Gale rolled his eyes and turned back to the vegetables. “Just get on with it, would you?” 

Astarion brought his focus back to Tav, silently offering a hand to help them stand. “You know, if you didn’t get so damn flustered I wouldn’t have to do this every night.” 

Tav laughed, their eyes dropping to the ground between them. “I can’t help it… you’re so—“

“—Devilishly handsome, unbelievably charming, an elf with a smile to die for—“

Gale snorted. “A pompous ass—“

Astarion ignored him. “Luscious hair, pouty kissable lips—“

“—Yes, yes, all of those things… Minus the pompous ass,” Tav said and paused. They pressed their lips together, thinking a moment before continuing. “Well, maybe a little bit of a pompous ass.” 

“So then, what’s the problem here?” Astarion gestured between them, his arms waving back and forth quickly. “I like you, and darling, you clearly like me…” 

“Astarion..,” Tav began. “You’re so far out of my league… I can’t help but think there is some kind of ulterior motive for you to be showing so much interest in me.” 

“I assure you, there isn’t. Not… Well, not anymore anyway.” 

“‘Not anymore’?” Gale asked. “What the hells is that supposed to mean?” 

“Gale, why don’t you scurry the fuck along and leave us to it?” Astarion hissed. 

“Oh, I’m enjoying this far too much. If I didn’t know any better I’d say you’re about to confess your love for them, and I’m not missing out on that.” 

“Yes, but—“

“Then confess already, Mystra help you, you’re hopeless…”

“Look,” Astarion sighed and turned his attention fully to Tav, ignoring the laugh that Gale sent his way. “I’ve never had actual real feelings for another person before. I don’t know how to approach a person without the intent of stealing them away for Cazador’s benefit. When I first met you I planned to use you, to have you as some kind of shield if he were to ever find me… But then.. I fell for you. 

“And of course, not knowing how to woo someone without using my body… I went the cheesy pickup lines route. Which I know isn’t exactly endearing, or really attractive… I just didn’t know how else to interact with you! I want you to be comfortable with me, to trust me like I trust you… 

“And darling, since I’m being honest here— you are in no way below me. Do you seriously not know how painfully attractive you are? I’ve been losing my mind with desire since day one. The way you smile at me and make me feel like the most important man in the world, how you run to my side for so much as a hangnail, when you laugh at my jokes, or blush just from my gaze—

“I’ve fallen so madly in love with you, it pains me to think of a life without you, and we haven’t so much as hugged…— um Tav? Are you alright?” 

Their hands covered their face, shaking their head as the heat continued to build in their cheeks. This was too much for them to handle. The occasional flirting was already playing games with their heart, but now? A full confession? “I might— I might need a minute.” 

“I think you broke them,” Gale moved to stand beside Astarion and reached out to poke the back of Tav’s hand. 

Astarion did the same, both of them just poking at the back of Tav’s hands— until they crouched down to avoid them, dropping their head between their knees and muffling a scream into their pants. 

“That was a hell of a confession,” Gale admitted. “Even I was swooning.” 

“Why thank you.” 

“Now what?” 

Astarion hummed. “I’m not sure.” 

“Want me to cast a spell on them or something?” 

Astarion waved him off. “Darling.” Astarion bent down and ran his hand down the back of Tav’s head. “You did hear that I love you, didn’t you?” 

“Yes,” they mumbled. “And I love you too.” 

“Well then, I suppose that’s that.” Gale laughed. “Maybe now they’ll stop melting into a damn puddle around you.” 

“Hah! I doubt it.”

------------

Later~

Gale: Before, you said you wanted to be more subtle.

Astarion: Yes?

Gale: But one night you insinuated that you wanted Tav to give you a blow job.

Astarion: …..

Gale: …..

Astarion: …I didn't want to admit that I liked your pick-up line.

Gale: HAHA! I knew it! I win.

Astarion: One of us has Tav napping in their tent, looking adorable as ever. Who's the real winner?

Gale: …Touché.

[charbies]

linktober 31 - HAPPY HALLOWEEN!!!

I thought for the last day I'd write a little retrospective on what this whole thing was like and what I learned. I'm too tired to draw literally anything else I'm due for a break lol

So this was my second time ever attempting a linktober/october drawing challenge, but my first time managing to complete all the days and prompts. I feel super proud of myself and accomplished for pulling it off.

There were a number of things that were surprising and that were challenging for me that I wasn't expecting this month. If anything, I think this challenge really highlighted my flaws and mental blindspots with how I approach making art.

For one thing, I came away from this not liking everything I made. I think I only like about 9 or 10 of the 30 pieces I put out there. When I don't like my art, I tend to get stuck in this mental stalemate of refusing to finish a piece until I like it, but also refusing to retrace my steps and erase/rework what I have so far for fear of losing progress or not being able to replicate the line/angle/color/etc that I liked.

It was surprisingly hard to accept when I didn't like a piece but had to move on for the sake of time and post it anyway. But once I did it a few times, it got easier. I realized prioritizing my standards over my available energy is not gonna promote progress. If I kept sinking myself into one piece and not moving on until it was optimal, I never would have finished anything-- that was the pitfall that ultimately made me bail out 10 days in last year.

I also realized my sunk cost fallacy/"what if I erase this and can never redraw it good again" stems from some real lack of confidence in my knowledge and techniques with art. I'm self-taught, and I think I tend to believe that everything I make is a dumb happy accident, even though I have mental rules when I draw, use tons of references, and have a process lol. There are a few pieces I started over 2-3 times before I got them right, and that's starting to feel liberating instead of like failing to me now, which I never expected to come out of this experience so that's cool.

Another place I had to learn to let go of control in this was with allowing for style variation. I really wanted each and every piece to be coherent and painterly, like they all came from the same book or something. But then I couldn't decide whether I wanted to do all/no lineart, all/no detailed background, all/no heavy rendering, etc. At the end I settled on just keeping the same canvas dimensions and just prioritizing filling up the space. Glad I ended up doing this, because I really would benefit from continuing to chill out and scale back how much I default to making dramatic, high-render pieces. I gotta break out of my comfort zone and make more sketchy little guys!

Sometimes my attachment to the prompts fluctuated; some prompts I thought I would love and then just wanted to get them over with. Some prompts I thought I would hate and subsequently half-ass, then I ended up redoing them and putting more effort & time into and loved the end result!

It was funny to also see how some pieces that I loved straight up did not get a whole lot of notes or attention. Some pieces I was "meh" about did crazy numbers lol. I'm used to posting maybe 5-6 times a year on here, so I'm usually indifferent to getting notes (by which I mean, I'm super grateful for likes & reblogs and the super sweet & funny messages in y'alls tags, but I'm not butthurt when I don't get notes because whatever happens, happens). Churning out 30 pieces in 30 days made me sometimes get bewildered by what did and didn't get notes, but frankly in the end I think it helps reaffirm that I should continue putting whatever I want out there because it! is! not! graded!!!

So would I do Linktober again? Probably not, sorry! it was a lot of time & effort and took me away from fall festivities more than I would have liked. I kinda only managed to pull this off because I was transitioning between jobs this month and had a week off to just draw. But I also completely see the value in taking on a challenge like this and finishing what I started, I'm super glad I did this, I think my art improved from it. I would definitely do future drawing challenges/prompt things that are quicker or have less prompts!

My advice to prospective future linktoberers: pace yourself and be gentle; this is a great chance to do something exciting and new with your art, but above all it's about you having fun. There are no prizes at the end except for what you've learned and how you feel about it, and that's for the best!!

One thing's for sure, I am zelda'd out lmao so I'll be branching out towards some little projects I have lined up for personal art and other fandoms I'm into right now

So anyway thanks to all of you who read this or who gassed me up this whole month, I appreciate you!!!!!!!! ヾ(＾∇＾)

[fanbasetwo]

Hii love! I couldn’t tell if your asks are open or not but I wanted to request reader having their first kiss with hao </3☹️

I love your writing so much btw! 🤍

NOTE : my asks are always open but you can still check it out on the pinned post where I do mention the ask status (if it's closed or not) this is my first hao ask btw + tysm for the compliment, I'm glad you enjoy my works 💕 MASTERLIST!!

You and Zhang Hao had been together since high school. When it was time to grow up and explore job opportunities, the two of you managed to make long-distance work, though you’d always joked about who’d be the one to kiss first once you reunited. When Hao finally moved back to your city after landing a job, things shifted—not in a bad way, but definitely in a new direction. You both decided to live together because, honestly, after five years of dating, it didn’t feel like a big leap.

Still, there were moments of awkwardness, like when you’d share the same bed at night. Sure, you’d cuddle, but neither of you ever took it further—not because you didn’t want to, but because you were both too shy to take the first step. Every touch felt hesitant, every glance carrying the weight of unspoken feelings.

“Hao?” you whispered, nudging him gently. He was sprawled on the bed after a long day at work, clearly exhausted. You both split rent evenly, and lately, you’d noticed how much effort he put into his job. He hummed softly, his body shifting as he turned on his side to face you. Without a word, he pulled you closer, his arm draped around your waist.

“Did you have a hard time at work?” you asked, your voice barely above a murmur as your sleepy eyes met his. He blinked at you, his gaze warm yet hesitant, before one hand reached up to cup your cheek.

“It’s not work,” he said quietly, shaking his head slightly.

“Then what is it?” you pressed, your curiosity piqued.

He hesitated for a moment, his thumb gently brushing against your skin. “It’s about us,” he admitted, his voice soft but tinged with uncertainty. “Are you... not attracted to me anymore?” The question caught you off guard, and you frowned, trying to piece together why he’d think that. “Of course I’m attracted to you,” you replied quickly, your tone laced with confusion. “Why would you feel otherwise?”

He let out a small sigh, looking almost embarrassed. “Because... you never, you know... take any hints. And you don’t really drop any hints either. About wanting... my kisses.”

His words trailed off, his cheeks dusted with a faint pink as he avoided your gaze. You stared at him for a moment before giggling softly, the nervousness between you both dissolving just a little. “Is it because I smell?” he asked suddenly, his tone half-serious, making you laugh even harder.

“Hao, no!” you managed to say through your giggles, shaking your head. “I’m just... nervous.”

“Then... can we do it now?” Hao's voice was barely a whisper, his nose brushing against yours as his hand rested gently on your cheek.

“Right now?” you echoed, your heart racing at his sudden question. His shy yet eager nod made your cheeks flush, and though you wanted to take the lead, the thought itself made you feel timid.

“Okay,” you murmured, giving a small nod of your own.

Neither of you moved at first, the shyness between you lingering in the space where your breaths mingled. It was as though a silent agreement passed between you: close your eyes and let it happen naturally. You squeezed your eyes shut, nerves buzzing through your entire body. And then, it happened—a soft, fleeting brush of his lips against yours. The touch sent a jolt down your spine, warm and electric, leaving you breathless even in its gentleness.

Both of you were lying on your sides, facing each other, and though the moment was slightly awkward, it was perfect in its own way. You tried to remember the romantic scenes you'd seen in dramas and movies, hesitantly capturing his upper lip between your own. Hao followed suit, tentatively suckling on your bottom lip, his movements clumsy yet tender. The kiss was inexperienced, both of you unsure of what to do next, but that only made it more endearing.

Your lips moved together in a rhythm that was anything but polished, yet the emotions behind it made your chest feel tight in the best way. With every soft press, every subtle tilt of your heads, you felt your connection deepen.

It wasn’t perfect or seamless, but it was real, filled with the quiet love and nervous excitement you’d built over the years.

When you finally pulled away, both of you were breathless, faces mere inches apart as you opened your eyes. Hao’s lips were slightly parted, his cheeks glowing with a faint blush as he grinned at you.

“That was...” he began, trailing off as he searched for the right word.

You giggled, touching your lips lightly. “Messy?”

“Perfect,” he corrected, his gaze soft and adoring.

[drkmgs]

Muse

Jenna Ortega x Fem! Reader

Warning: angst, break-up, exes working with each other

Story type: One shot

According to the poll, I made 50.5% of 311 voters want this one. I don't know. Should I have posted a little summary? hehe. The end was so hard to write. I hope it came out fine...

You released a heavy sigh as you looked around your blackroom. She was everywhere. There is it again, the certain squeeze in your chest. You swallowed the clump in your throat.

She was your muse.

Sadly, that has changed now.

At first, she was a stranger, then an acquaintance, turned into a friend, that developed to lovers, and now back to a stranger again. Stranger is a strong word because you don't work with strangers. What do you call two exes that sometimes work together?

You should have listened to your friends – never mingle with someone who is famous.

It will only destroy you, and it did.

Well, not you completely, but mostly your heart and it shows – in your writings, pictures, songs you listen to, and hell even in your outfits. She drastically changed you. No, scratch that. It wasn't her who changed you. It was the pain, anger, and heartache. Where do these feelings come from? Is it from the unanswered questions, like why did she leave me? Probably.

How do people cope with heartbreaks without knowing the reason as to why the person you love the most left you? This breakup did something to you. It brought a lot of people back into your life and opened up opportunities. Next month, you'll be showing chasing some of your work at the Met Gala. The main reason why you're in the middle of developing some of your films.

After your break up with Jenna, you threw yourself onto work. Most of the pieces you have sold, were painful and hurtful, but these ones that you're developing are quite the opposite. These pictures were taken before the pain, where everything was happy and in love. You weren't even halfway developing all the roll films you have, and yet your blackroom is already filled with her.

Smiling, dancing, singing, baking, walking, and even sleeping. She was certainly your muse. There is one picture that stands out, and it is your favorite. She was in a grass field with daisies. Her smiling face wasn't towards the camera but to you. It shows how happy she was with you in that moment. You wonder what changed? What changed that made her run away from you?

Your thoughts were interrupted when your phone vibrated beside you. You immediately answered and squeezed it between your ear and shoulder, both of your hands were busy hanging the developed film.

"Y/N Callaway speaking." You hear hectic shoutings in the background and commands from the person who rang you.

"Darling, Callaway! It's Gladys! I know you're busy with your work for the Met Gala, but is there a chance that you could do me a favor?" You can hear that she's biting her nails as her voice wasn't as confident as it always has been.

"Depends on what favor, Glads." You have known this woman since you started your photography career, and she has been setting you up with clients, but now that you have bigger projects, she would only set you up if it was necessary.

"I need you for a shoot. In like 30 min. The one I hired got into an accident and we need a photographer asap." You look at your watch. The pieces you want to use for the Met were already drying, but new ones wouldn't hurt.

"Okay. Send me the address." You ended the call, stood up from the stool, got your leather jacket from the hook, and stepped out of your blackroom. When you got there, everyone was already waiting, and Gladys was frantically pacing back and fort.

"Oh may god! Darling! You're an angel sent from above!" She greeted you as she spotted you when she faced towards you. "I tried to come as fast as I could." You gently placed your equipment on the ground and greeted her back.

"That's okay! I'm so glad you are here! So, our model just got her make-up done, and she already has her outfit on. We need a picture of her walking here, somewhere she's sitting and then one with a car. The car is that one. You can meet our model, she is in that van." She pointed at the blacked parked mini van, not far where you were standing. You nodded at her, and she walked away to do some phone calls.

You knocked on the van door and stepped back a bit, gaze on the ground. "Oh-Hi, Y/N." A familiar voice rang through your ear, which made you snap your head up. "Enrique. Nice to see you again." You gave him a genuine smile. Your gaze shifted to the woman behind him. You saw her shock face, but it immediately changed into a stoic expression.

"Miss Ortega. Congratulations to Wednesday. It turned out great." After the break up, you started calling her by her last name. You thought, a professional approach would be better than people asking how you two got into the first-name basis. The relationship you two had was only known by close friends and family, obviously Enrique counted as a close friend.

"You watched Wednesday?" There was a hint of curiosity in her voice, but her face stayed uninterested. "Yeah, I watched it with my daughter." You smiled lightly. "Sorry, did you say daughter?" Her uninterested face turned into a furrowed eyebrows.

"Goddaughter." You don't know why you had the urge to correct yourself, but when she unforrowed her eyebrows, it made you exhale. You were used to people knowing that Penelope – your Goddaughter – you referring to her as your daughter.

Aside from diving into work while healing yourself, you spent mostly your time at your best friends's house, and when they announced they're adopting, you were over the moon. They didn't just help you get back on your feet but also gave you a different reason to be happy, and that's being a Godparent to Penelope.

There is a hint of confusion and anger within you as to why she reacted like that? She left you. You mean nothing to her. So, why did she look so relieved when you corrected yourself? You shook your head to get out of that state of mind.

"I think we should get this shooting started." You didn't wait for her to reply. You just walked away and got your equipment ready. While you're busy with your stuff, there's a pair of eyes watching you. Never taking them away from you.

"Take a picture. It will last longer." Enrique chimed behind the woman. "I don't understand you. You keep saying you don't love her anymore and that you moved on, but here you are having heart eyes." Enrique made a hand gesture indicating the situation he just saw.

"I don't have heart eyes." She scoffed and rollled her eyes and went back, scrolling through her phone. "Girl. Don't. I know what I saw, and I believe in what I saw. You are still in love with her." Enrique sassied. "Okay, so what if I still love her?! It doesn't matter! Let's say she still loves me. Why? Why would she be? All I did was leave and break her heart." From a far, it looks like Jenna is about to have a mental breakdown.

Sure, she has seen you a couple of times after the breakup, but right now, something is different. The shine in your eyes talking about your goddaughter–is the way you looked at her in the past. Full of adoration and love. Jenna wanted to get lost in those eyes, but it changed as soon as you laid your eyes on hers.

From where you were standing, you could see how frustrated she was and her eyes. You know it's screaming sadness and regrets, but also pain and anger. Anger not towards you, but to herself. She tried so hard to stop the tears. Seeing her like that, something heavy pulls down on your chest. Enrique tried to consult her, but she refused and excused herself.

You watch her walk away the set and turn to look at Enrique. He shrugged and signed you to follow her. You excused yourself from the other staff saying you are going to the powder room, but you actually followed Jenna. Around the corner, you see her, phasing back and forth, shaking her hands–trying to calm down.

You couldn't keep watching, so as soon as Jenna turned around, you engulfed her into a hug. She didn't push you away. She inhaled and relaxed into you, grabbing onto your jacket. "I'm sorry." She mumbled through her sobbing. You didn't say anything. You just stood there patting her back. When she calmed down, she stepped back and wiped her tears. You were about to leave when she stopped you.

"I mean it. I'm sorry. I'm sorry for leaving. I'm sorry for not telling you about how I feel and what was bothering me. Please forgive." Jenna's voice cracked at the end. You shook your head. "I don't know what to say to you, Jenna. I thought when this moment came, I was ready to face any of your reasons, but I am not. What you did is still so fresh in my memory as if it happened yesterday, but I know I still have the heart to forgive you." You say trying to get out of her grip. "Then let me make it up to you. I promise I'll be better. I'll fix everything." She desperately says. "Jenna. Don't make promises you can't fulfill, and if you break a glass and try to fix it, it will never be the same before you broke it." After hearing that, Jenna finally loosened her grip on you.

"I'll head back to the set. I'll tell them you'll need a minute." You excused yourself. This time around, Jenna watched you leave, and she'll never know when you'll be back in her arms.

[s-awturn]

Moon Spell || CS55

summary: They were fated to love someone they hated. There was no spell, no grudge, no curse that could break the bond that united them, doomed to die in the feelings they fiercely nurtured. The Moon had determined it and there was nothing they could do to stop it.

“These violent pleasures have violent ends, and die in their triumph, like fire and gunpowder, which, when they kiss, consume each other. The sweetest honey is disgusting in its own sweetness, and its taste confuses the palate.”

cw: Violence, conflict, soulmates, blood, magic, alternate universe, obscenity, pure filth, chaos, fighting, swearing, intense hatred, love, mention of death, blood.

a/n: I'm excited about this story because I love werewolves and witches so I can't stop reading it. This will be the last one posted until I update Underworld Sun, because I've been owing this update for a few days.

starring: werewolf!Carlos x witch!Fem reader

1. we were born to die;

Part Two: Monsters

One misstep, you're mine And you better stay clever if you wanna survive

Her breath caught in her chest as she saw the massive beast emerging from the bushes, its fangs as big as the blade of her dagger, its eyes gleaming like molten gold and stared at him with nothing but murderous fury. Being the first night of the full moon, Y/N could feel the deep magic of lycanthropy within him, vibrating the beast's solid muscles and teasing his senses, making it tastier prey than any animal in the forest.

It was a bad day to be with your magic so weak.

The werewolf began to surround her and Y/N did the same, she couldn't give him a chance to attack from behind, dying wasn't in her plans. Whether from angry villagers or from that hungry werewolf. Her eyes remained glued to the massive creature in front of her, she couldn't take her eyes off the wolf's dangerous fangs; her fingers pressed the dagger and she took a deep breath, asking for wisdom and strength to get out of that situation.

“I’m not going to die tonight, beast, so I hope you don’t mind when I use your fur as a blanket,” she said. Y/N knew how to poke a mindless beast with twice her strength and huge teeth were dangerous, but she had never been a sensible witch, and now was not the time to start being one.

The moon shone even brighter in the sky and an ancient shiver ran down her spine. At that moment, the wind carried whispers in an ancient voice to her. Whispers that she didn't like to hear and Before she could think, her magic core was gone and her body lost its strength. She fainted, dropping her dagger, dropping her bag; the black kitten purred, ignoring the werewolf standing there, much more concerned about his owner. Spix pressed his feline snout to the witch's face, waiting for her to wake up.

Trapped in her subconscious, Y/N looked around, recognizing the tiny kitchen of the cottage she shared with her parents, the smell of her mother's familiar herbal tea made the girl whimper. She missed her mother so much, her advice and love, and that smell made things less unbearable to deal with.

She heard light, rhythmic footsteps and saw her mother enter the room, wearing the raw cotton dress and white stone necklace, so characteristic that they made her eyes burn.

“Would you like some tea, dear? You look hungry,” she heard her mother say. “The rye bread is fresh, have a piece, will you?”

"Mommy?” She spoke softly, approaching fearfully and touching the woman's face, and when she felt the soft texture of the older woman's cheek, Y/N finally gave in to tears. “I missed you, mommy!”

The older one hugged her before Y/N fell to her knees on the floor, the younger witch felt herself being dragged to a chair.

“I missed you too my little sunshine, don't cry anymore, your dad and I are fine, glad you're safe”

“This is so unfair, you didn't deserve to die like this, I w-wanted to help...” she sobbed, her face hidden in her mother's shoulder.

“Shhhh it's okay, there's nothing you could do dear, and I honestly don't regret saving your life, I didn't give birth to you to watch you die, dear, stop crying over things that are beyond your reach,” she said, making the girl look at her and wiped her tears. “Let's not waste this precious time we have with complaints and tears, I need to tell you something... Something important that will change your future”

The young witch's still tearful face contorted in confusion and she saw her mother smile, stroking her damp cheeks.

“W-what do you mean?”

Y/N saw her mother sigh loudly “After tonight, nothing will be the same, my love, it's time to stop the killing between our people and the lycanthropes”

“M-Me?” she laughed in disbelief “I can barely keep my magic core stable, how can I stop something that has been going on for centuries?!”

“You young people are so impatient, let me explain, we don’t have much time, so be quiet,” her mother scolded. “There are few things in the world that are truly unbreakable, the bond of partnership between a werewolf and his destined one is one of those things and you are on the other end of the cord, my dear.”

S/N stood up, her mother couldn't be serious, it could only be a joke in bad taste.

“I can’t mate with a werewolf! I’m a witch.”

“But you are, and that will change the history of our people, S/N,” the older witch said seriously. “We are being persecuted and killed by madmen who use the name of God to justify their sins” She paused for a few seconds, reinforcing her speech “We cannot protect ourselves on both fronts, my little sun, we need to choose our battles and it is time to stop fighting with the wolves”

“But why me?! I’m not the best option to negotiate peace in a thousand-year-old war!”

“But you will, I can't give you any more details, I know you will do the right thing, just follow your heart, it always knows the right direction” the woman said, getting up to get some tea.

“Then I will have to kill him, because that is where my heart is going.”

Y/N grumbled in disbelief. As if her life wasn't already busy enough.

“Don’t be petulant, girl, and accept the goddess’s designs, she knows what she’s doing and I know you’ll be happy.”

Y/N sighed, feeling like she was waking up, so her time with her mother was close to ending.

“I don’t want to say goodbye, take me with you”

“I would never do that to you, my love... You have a beautiful life ahead of you and I know you will be happy, trust me, okay?”

The little witch sniffed and nodded.

“You are never alone, and live your life the best way you can, your father and I love you, dear.” Y/N felt a kiss on her forehead and saw everything fade before her eyes.

— ☽ —

The werewolf watched the witch fall to the ground unconscious. It was a strange thing, because he hadn't even intended to attack her—yet. In other times he would have taken advantage and satisfied his hunger, but his instincts told him otherwise. The werewolf approached slowly, but stopped when he saw the cat bristle and growl in his direction. That cat was a totem linked to the unconscious witch, and if he tried to attack her, he would probably have to deal with that stupid cat.

The wolf licked his teeth, he couldn't kill the witch, but he couldn't retreat either, his paws kept moving forward even though the cat was ready to scratch his snout. The moon grew brighter and a bit of rationality came to the werewolf's mind, the creature poked the witch's cheek, receiving no response.

As delicately as he could, he gathered the belongings that had fallen out of the bag with his nose and teeth and thought of a way to put it on his back. The cat watched the whole process and He gave a meow that, to the werewolf's ears, sounded like mockery, and before he could grab the kitten, the werewolf saw the cat digging in the ground near the witch and understood what the little animal wanted. Within minutes a large hole next to the witch's unconscious body was opened, the werewolf entered the hole and pulled the witch by the cape with his teeth, making her fall onto her back. With the girl unconscious, the wolf jumped until he was out of the hole, being careful not to knock her over and shouted carefully, being closely followed by the black cat, the moonlight flickered slightly before hiding behind a cloud.

The werewolf kept his pace short until he reached his small village, only children, some pregnant women and elderly people were present, all the rest spread out into the forest to hunt and give in to instincts. He entered the furthest cabin from the village, and laid the witch on the bed, she remained unconscious and he left, leaving the cat at the door. He wasn't happy about having a witch so close to his people, but his instincts screamed to catch her and keep her close.

He left the unconscious witch there and ran back into the woods, he needed to eat and he needed to stay away from her, or he would end up killing the girl and something in his bones told him to keep her alive.

— ☽ —

The sun was rising when she finally woke up. She knew that experiences like this were possible, but she never expected to experience one in person. Y/N she felt the fluffy weight on her abdomen and ran her fingers through Spix's silky fur, the kitten purred, rubbing his little face against her hand, clearly relieved that she had woken up; Y/N blinked slowly, catching glimpses of a wooden and straw roof above her, only to snap up, she was no longer in the forest, she was in an unfamiliar cabin. Alone with her cat.

She looked around, finding her things thrown in a corner, stained with diluted blood.

“By the grace of the Goddess, what happened last night?” she muttered to herself, looking at her things, the candles were broken, but the rest seemed intact thankfully. None of her grimoires had been lost. Little by little, memories of last night came back to her mind, the escape from her home, the search for shelter in the woods, the werewolf in her path and the strange conversation with her mother... Y/N rubbed the back of her neck, feeling strangely tired, even though she slept through the night. She looked around, trying to figure out where she was, but nothing gave away who the cabin belonged to or who had brought her there. but if Spix was cool with it, it must be a good sign.

She avoided thinking as much as she could about the conversation with her mother as she rummaged through her belongings in the cabin, she could never be a werewolf's mate. They had been enemy races for so many years that she didn't even know the reason for the enmity, and she didn't even mention that her insides were turning over at the idea, no, her mother was delirious. She was sure of it.

She found some still-good bread and a canteen of beer, it wasn't the best breakfast, but she was starving and couldn't afford to refuse food; S/N devoured the bread in three bites and She downed her beer in one gulp. Maybe now she could leave, pretending her mother hadn't said anything as absurd as that. It would never work, she was a witch, that bond was unnatural, it couldn't happen.

Quickly, she gathered her things and picked up Spix, but the cat jumped off her lap and remained on the bed.

“Let’s go, Spix, we don’t know whose house this is, we’re not going to stay to find out” she said as she reached out her hands to grab the feline, but Spix jumped away, making Y/N frown in confusion. “Now, don’t be like that, Spix! I know this bed is comfortable, but we’re not staying here! It’s dangerous!”

The kitten meowed in protest and Y/N asked the heavens for patience, or she would take the cat by the tail. “Come on Spix, I'm in charge!”

She couldn't be ignored any more than that, the black cat raised his own magic and became invisible, making Y/N curse. Y/N felt around on the bed, finding the cat among the woolen blankets and before it could get loose, she put it in the leather bag and ran out of the cabin, she couldn't stay there, he didn't know who might arrive and he wouldn't risk himself like that and it wouldn't be a cat that would dictate her actions.

As morning arrived, Carlos breathed a sigh of relief when the beast allowed him to control his body again, he had few memories of last night, but he knew there was a girl lying in his bed, a girl who was probably his companion.

A witch.

He could feel her scent impregnated on his body, it was a cruel joke of fate, the Moon could not unite him with a witch. It was absurd that he wanted to laugh, as if his life wasn't troubled enough, he still had to deal with a damn witch in his house, a witch who was his predestined. He was on his way home when the scent of lavender and lemon reached his nose and it wasn't long before he heard quick footsteps breaking branches on the ground. Before he could understand, Carlos ran in the direction of the scent, his body transforming mid-run, he could see the witch's thick cloak fluttering in the air as she walked away; It wasn't as if the little witch could run faster than him and in a short time, Carlos was just a few meters away from her. His muscles tensed and he leapt at her, knocking her to the muddy ground until they ended up rolling down a local ravine. She screamed in fright, trying to pull away from him, but she was trapped between him and the ground.

Carlos growled, holding the witch under his body, was she leaving? How dare she?!

She began to punch and kick the wolf above her, but he growled, leaving his teeth exposed, making the smaller girl retreat as far as she could on the ground.

“Get off me, help! Help, someone help me!” she screamed, but all she heard was the birds squawking and the trees crashing against each other. The werewolf got off her and grabbed the witch's ankle, dragging her back to the cabin. "Let go of me!" she tried to kick the creature, but it sank its teeth into her skin, making her scream.

Behind them, Spix trotted along leisurely, dragging his leather bag carefully as he followed.

Carlos wondered if it was really the right thing to drag that witch back to his house, she was a witch, she could kill his entire family, he gave up.He didn't understand why the Moon had chosen a witch to be her companion, this couldn't be serious, it had to be a joke.

She kept struggling and kicking, trying to get free, which made Carlos grunt with laughter, her efforts were laughable and it was clear she didn't have enough magic to break free, otherwise he would have already been thrown against a tree.

It wasn't enough to be a witch, she was also useless.

As soon as they arrived at the cabin, Carlos let go of her ankle and walked around the house, the girl didn't need to see him naked, he transformed and picked up a pair of pants hanging on the clothesline next door, listening to her whine about the bruises on her ankle. When he came back inside, the witch was rubbing her ankle, muttering a strange chant that he didn't understand.

“This wouldn’t have happened if you had stayed here until I got back,” he said, surprising the girl, the witch screamed in fright, throwing a broken candle at him, which he dodged without any further problems.

“I have no reason to stay here!” she scolded, trying to stand, ignoring her sore ankle.

“You have nowhere to go, girl, or you wouldn’t be running through the woods in the middle of the night.” He landed a wound on the witch, who took a deep breath, trying not to think about what she had lost in such a short time.

“That’s none of your business, mutt,” she retorted rudely and Carlos clenched his jaw, irritated by the insult.

“That became my business from the moment you became my companion!”

“I AM NOT YOUR MATE!” she screamed and the rafters of the hut shook, her magic gradually returning.

Carlos looked at her even more stressed, this really shouldn't be happening, he should be connected to a wolf from his pack, following the natural course of things. But no, he was there, destined for a witch.

"You can scream all you want, little witch, you are my companion, whether you like it or not, and you will stay here.”

“Never! I’d rather die!” She marched towards him so determinedly that she didn't even groan in pain and stared at him without fear. “You'll have to tie me up!”

He tilted his head back, laughing deeply at the girl in front of him. “That’s not a problem, little witch, I’m very good with ropes.”

She screamed in anger and backed away from him, feeling her body tremble, abruptly her magical core had completely restored itself and she refused to believe that this was due to the bond with the werewolf.

“Even though I haven’t marked you yet, we’re united, little witch,” he said mockingly, “there’s no way you can leave here, because listen carefully...” he approached her, feeling the angry vibration that the witch emanated so strongly. “I don't care if our races have hated each other for centuries, I don't care if you want to disembowel me now, the Moon has decided that you would be mine, and that's what you are from now on, so don't even think about running away from me, witch, because I'll hunt you down to the end of the world”

Neither of them even realized that they were inches away from each other, Carlos only noticed when the scent of lavender and lemon disoriented his senses.

“There’s no point in running away, you’re mine now and you’re going to stay here”

“I don’t belong to anyone! Much less to a mutt like you!”

In one quick movement, Carlos wrapped his arms around the witch's throat and they both fell onto the bed.

“Don’t call me a mutt, you filthy little witch.”

He felt her swallow hard and take a deep breath, struggling to get away from him, but Carlos pressed harder on the girl's throat, seeing her choke a little, but that didn't last long, because he was thrown against the wall, knocking over some shelves.

“I’ll kill you!” they shouted together.

#taglist: @barcelonaloverf1life

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ALL RIGHTS RESERVED TO S-AWTURN™ 🪐. I do not allow copying or republication. Any unauthorized publication will be reported.

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[doberbutts]

Been playing In Stars and Time recently and Mirabelle made Me cry on like six separate occasions because Black girls are never allowed to be characters like Mira. She's cutesy and bubbly and supported by her friends and she is canonically God's Favorite and normally I hate characters like that. But she is also Black. She looks like... Me, My friends. Her mentor, in-game, is another older Black woman. She has a community. And she's so multifaceted, she has a complicated relationship with her sexuality and talks about it, it's a level of care and detail and *attention* paid to a Black girl- who isn't even the player character! A Black girl who is just, in Your party, and the story cares so much about her. It made Me feel important, too. Like I could be important even if I wasn't butch, wasn't a protector, let Myself wear pink and be femme sometimes, which isn't something I feel very often.

Not sure why I'm telling You this. Felt related to a recent reblog. Recommending the game, maybe. Have a good day, man. Thank You for listening.

Thank you for the recommendation!

I felt very similarly while playing Spiritfarer. Playing as a young black girl filled with love and light as she pieces together her own memories and grapples with the serious discussion of grief and death- I was recommended the game because I like supernatural fantasy and went "oh! She's black!" once I started it up. I haven't beaten it yet because I can't get past the one character who reminds me a lot of my late grandfather, and it's his time to go, and I don't want to say goodbye just yet. The character who reminded me of my late grandmother had just left and I did have to put the game down and have a good cry.

I suppose that's the point. To help heal the player who is likely struggling with a loss in their own family. I lost my maternal grandfather and my paternal grandmother- each pillars of their respective sides of the family- less than 9 months from each other and losing them in-game made things a little too real. Nevermind that I lost them close to 9 years ago. Now with my uncle's sudden death 2 years ago, well after I took a break from the game, I am a little leery on going back to it if not just because if someone reminds me of him I think I will cry again.

But there is something cathartic about seeing "myself" as a young black girl, hugging the souls of my loved ones goodbye, hanging onto the precious memories from my childhood as my reminder of them. Even if it makes me teary to type this out. I was that little black girl when they knew me- affectionate, bright, energetic, full of life.

Anyway. If you are in a headspace where you are safe to experience this, I think you should give Spiritfarer a try. I'm glad I did.

[wen-kexing-apologist]

Top 5 Emotional Outbursts

See if no one else on this website has my back, I know Ben has my back because he is giving me a chance to talk about my boy Patts once more

TOP 5 EMOTIONAL OUTBURSTS OF 2023

Patts, La Pluie

gif by the beautiful, marvelous @liyazaki

Episode 10 was just an absolute masterclass in emotional outbursts. The fight between Lomfon and Patts, then Patts and Tai, then Lomfon and Tien, then Patts and Tai again. Like goddamn, finally thank fuck, Patts is able to let out years worth of frustration and pain at Tai's silence was just so beautiful, and cathartic, and necessary. What an absolutely incredible moment to not only witness but experience. Patts has been so kind, so patient, so forgiving, and it was time for all the pain that he's been letting simmer for two years out. Good! For! Him!

Uea and His Bio Family, Bed Friend

There are few characters in this world I hate more than Uea's mother, and it was so so so so so so wonderful to see Uea finally give her a piece of his mind. I am so proud of him for speaking his mind, standing his ground, and getting the ever living fuck out of his bio family's house. Too personal, sorry, but this fight hit especially well for me because I too have had a parent say they'd live perfectly happily without me, and it was great vindication of my reaction to that to see Uea GTFO immediately after.

Secondarily, James' sobbing screams at the beginning of episode 4 and in the flashback of him getting dragged in to the bathroom when he was an adult have never left my brain. James absolutely crushed those scenes and this was going to be my Bed Friend pick before I remembered this fight exists.

Jim and Li Ming // Heart and His Parents, Moonlight Chicken

I don't think I am exaggerating when I say that Jim and Li Ming's relationship dynamics is one of my favorite of all time. Aof is such an incredible screenwriter/director and I feel like he's able to make such realistic depictions of families in all their complicated glory. The screaming match between Jim and Li Ming is SO good, and really is what solidified my appreciation for Fourth's acting skills because there was a fucking storm cloud on his brow. Happy fucking birthday to you Uncle Jim I guess. Poor fucker.

And then of course, one of the first ever posts I made in the BL Sphere of tumblr was a full essay on Heart's confrontation which I loved so motherfucking much. Once again a much needed fight with lots of interesting, complicated emotions flying around the room.

Kiyoi and Hira, Utsukushii Kare Season 2

gif by @itsallaboutbl

"I'm sorry that I like you" one of the best moments of the year for me by far. This fight between Kiyoi and Hira was desperately, and I mean desperately needed. I know changing will be a slow process for the two of them, and even in Eternal they are no where near where they need to be, but Hira needs/needed to cut this Pebble to a God bullshit out and I am so glad that Kiyoi was able to call him on it. Also from a performance standpoint, Yagi Yusei had his work cut out for him as a scene partner to Hagiwara who absolutely bodied his role as Hira. In season one Yagi did not need to do all that much for his performance because we didn't know as much about Kiyoi until closer to the end, but that cannot be the case for Season 2 and Yagi knocked it out of the motherfucking park.

Sunshine and Q, 7 Days Before Valentine

Okay, almost positive this isn't a BL but I love when people structure TV shows like stage plays, and there was a fight between Sunshine and Q in like Episode 4 or 5 where they were shouting over each other and it just felt so real and the dead silence that hit the room when Q said something that struck a chord with Sunshine was expertly handled, and some of the best work I've seen out of Atom the whole show. I don't think anyone gifed it so I can't put the scene in, but I think you talked about it in your Stray Thoughts @bengiyo

And just cause I wanna, the Top 5 Emotional Outbursts of the pre-2023 shows I watched this year:

In and Wang's fight in 180 Degree Longitude Passes Through Us, Ep 8

Gav sobbing about his aunt in Gameboys (the movie, i think?)

Pran sobbing in to Pat's shoulder in Bad Buddy, Ep 10

Tarn's fight with Teh in I Told Sunset About You, Ep 4 (shout out to Smile there because I still cannot believe it was the first thing she filmed on set)

Shiro being terrified Kenji was dying and Kenji being worried Shiro was dying and the resulting clownery from them blurting that out in What Did You Eat Yesterday? I think it was the New Year's special.

ASK ME MY TOP 5 OF ANYTHING BL 2023

[kenny-the-ken]

Save the Date

Aged up readers, Y/N is 17, Kenny is 18. All in high school. Mentions of drugs, alcohol, sexual themes and strong language. NOT FOR MINORS!! I hope you all enjoyed my first fic, it was written while running after my 2 year old who throws WAY too many tantrums so sorry if it wasn't my greatest work!

Kenny watched you from across the classroom, he watched how you twiddled your pen between your thumb and forefinger, how you the tip of your tongue darted out of your mouth as you concentrated on what you were writing. Your perfect y/h/c hair flowing in soft waves that cascaded down your back. He had fallen, and he had fallen hard.

Both of you were inseparable, the best of friends, you did everything together, albeit not much, because neither of you could afford to go a lot of places. He loved nothing more than laying down beside you in your bed with his arms wrapped tightly around your waist, you were the one of the only people that knew he was Mysterion, you were one of the very lucky few who had seen him without his orange parka hood suffocating his face. But the most important to him, you were the only one to remember, the first time he died in front of you, you were shattered to a million pieces, your heart completely broken, and the only thing that could ever fix it was Kenny coming back alive, not like that could ever happen.

But it did, and when you heard a small knock on your front door all those years ago, opening it to see those beautiful blue eyes and fluffy blonde hair standing smiling at you, your face covered in smeared black lines of mascara, he knew.

"Kenny?" You uttered, rubbing your eyes as if you were hallucinating, a glove clad hand reaching to cup your tear stained face, he just simply looked at you, tears now welling in his own eyes.

"You- You remember?" He asked, you giving him a small nod as his answer. You smiled, tears still falling down your face.

"Of course I remember, Kenny! You got hit by a bus and everyone shouted about how you'd been killed and then called them bastards!" You responded, before he grabbed you with both hands, saying nothing but pulling you close to him for the tightest hug you'd ever had.

"I'm so glad you remember. No one else does."

That day will stay forever engraved in his mind for as long as he was destined to be on this earth for. And he knew, he knew you were his one true soul mate. Yeah, Kenny had been with plenty of girls before, but none of them made him feel how you did, normally so confident in asking girls out, he was known as a flirt, but he had never been confident enough to ask you out. That was until today.

"Put your balls in your purse, Kinny!" Eric said to him, exiting the class watching you walking in front of him. He was half listening, half in a daydream about how good your ass looked in your jeans.

"Kenny? Hello? Earth to Kenny, are you even listening to us?!" Kyle said, waving his hands in the air in front of Kenny's face.

"Hey dude, I was getting a good view there!! Fuck you, man!" Kenny exclaimed, sighing as he seen you turn the corner in the corridor.

"Dude, you seriously gotta ask her out!" Stan said, the other two boys nodding in agreement.

"How, man? I don't have any money to take her places, what am I supposed to say, 'Hey Y/N wanna come to my house and see my shit bedroom, my mom and dad screaming at each other and our meth lab?!' She'd never go for a guy like me, dudes. And she deserves better than me." He said his head bowing to stare at the tiles of the corridor. His life really was a mess.

"And that's where the broship comes in, dude!" Eric exclaimed, the other boys staring at each other in confusion.

"I bet you $70 you won't ask her out by the end of the day!" Eric said, knowing Kenny couldn't pass up on money like that.

"And if you do, then the money will come in handy for a date right?" Eric said, a shit eating grin plastered upon his face.

"Fine." Kenny replied, saying nothing else before walking off to find you.

There you sat with the other girls, chatting about god knows what and eating your lunch. You could feel a pair of eyes burning through the back of your skull as you turned round, there he stood, your prince in an orange parka. You couldn't see it because of his hood, but he was smiling at you, and was that a blush on his cheeks?

You had serious love and feelings for Kenny, and you always had, but you knew he was a player, he had been with a lot of girls throughout the years, and he never ever chose you, maybe he just didn't see you that way.

He was nervous, a small bead of sweat trickling down his forehead. He made his way over to you.

"Is it hot in here, or is it just being so close to you, girl?" Kenny flirted, causing a small blush to spread along your cheeks.

"What's up, Kenny?" You asked, offering him the half of your sandwich, he normally didn't have much food to eat, so you liked to help when you could. He great-fully accepted the kind offer and then bowed his head slightly, taking on a rather unusual mannerism for him. Normally he was so confident and cocky, but right now, he looked like he might pass out.

And he felt like it too!! Maybe he could just die accidentally and come back tomorr- No! He has to do this! It was now or never.

"Can I- um... can I talk to you about something?" Kenny asked, his gloved hands fidgeting together.

"Of course, Ken, we can talk about anything together! Do you wanna head somewhere more private?" You asked, as he simply nodded in reply, taking off a glove and offering his hand to you.

"I rolled a joint I didn't get to smoke before school today, wanna dip and go to the park?" Kenny questioned, his eyebrow quirking, hoping you'd be down.

"I have Mr Garrison's class after lunch so fuck yeah I wanna dip. My mom isn't home as usual, said she was going to get drugs last night and hasn't came back, so we can go smoke up at my house if you want? I've got frozen pizza!" You exclaimed, a large smile on your face. You could never pass up quality time with Kenny, you both knew that.

"That sounds like absolute bliss, babe. But when we smoke up, I really do need to talk to you about something." He stated, your hands now fully intertwined. As you guys approached the double doors of the school you passed Eric, Kyle and Stan, the three boys staring at you both, wide eyed and mouths wide.

"Hey, fuck you Kinny!" Eric shouted, handing him $70. "Make it last! God knows when you'd be able to get $70 again, Kinny!" He shouted loudly, the blonde boy smirking and flipping him off on his way out the door.

"Fuck you, dude! I'll text y'all later." He shouted back, the doors finally closing behind you both.

The walk was long and cold to your house, since you lived in the same part of town as Kenny, and the school bus wasn't running, since technically school was still in session. During the walk Kenny had shedded his jacket, putting it on you instead, making sure you didn't catch sick and kept warm in the never ending snow that resided in South Park.

Soon enough you were both in your bedroom, the window cracked slightly as Kenny sparked his lighter, taking a long, slow drag of the joint before passing it to you.

"So, what did you wanna talk about? Has your dad gone psycho again?" You asked, taking a few drags of the joint and passing it back to Kenny, your hands grazing slightly, and when you two touched, it felt electric.

He shook his head no. "No, for once it's not my parents." He laughed out, smoke coming down his nostrils.

"Then what's wrong, Ken?" You asked eyebrows raised as your studied your best friends face. He had a light dusting of freckles, soft, pale skin and the most perfect, light pink lips and of course you couldn't forget the adorable little gap in his teeth when he smiled at you. You were in love, you had been in love with him for as long as you could remember.

His hands were ice cold, the blood not reaching them due to the speed his heart was beating at.

"I um... I-" He stuttered, his cheeks a deep shade of crimson, as he quickly puffed on the joint you two shared, passing it to you, he should've asked if you had any vodka here that he could take a shot of, a little Dutch courage, but it was too late, he was already sitting here, your full attention on him as he became a stammering mess.

He took his gaze away from you before he said it, he actually had finally said it to you, and he did so as quickly as the words would come out of his mouth.

"Do you maybe wanna, I don't know, bemygirlfriend? I mean, only if you want to! If you don't, I totally understand, I wouldn't wanna be with me either, I mean, you deserve the world and I can barely afford to feed myself-"

You cut him off by grabbing the front of his t-shirt and pulling him towards you, your lips crashing against one another. You had waited for this since you were younger, you had always dreamed of being his, being his girl. And now you were!

His eyes fluttered closed, melting against you and wrapping his slender arms around your waist, pulling you closer to him on the bed. He had dreamt about this, he had wanked about this! More than once! He'd thought about how your boobs looked without any clothing covering them, how your nipple would feel in his mouth, how hard he could slap your ass, how tight you would feel around his coc-

You both parted ways, panting as you did, a string of salvia connecting your mouths. Both of you were blushing profusely, and Kenny shifted on the bed, feeling the tightness in his jeans starting to bother him.

"I've wanted to do that since the fourth grade." You said, almost in a whisper, only for Kenny to hear.

"Then let's go use this $70 fat ass gave me and I'll take you on our first official date!" Kenny said, a small smile on his lips as he kept his arms wrapped tightly around you, as if a gust of wind could blow you away from him.

"I love you, Kenny McCormick."

"I love you too, Y/N, and I always have." Kenny sighed, the relief he felt come crashing over him. He no longer had to keep it a secret, he loved you, and you loved him, and that was all the mattered. You made him want to stay alive, you made him happy, and you made him whole. I guess soul mates really do exist.

Hey guys!! I really hope you enjoyed this fic, I just kinda banged it out and I haven't checked any spelling or typos, so I'm really sorry about that, I just hope you all enjoy it. Kenny's a cute lil fluff, and I love writing for him, but I'll write for anyone from South Park so if you guys have any suggestions or requests please do send them my way!!

[azucarmorena97]

Money Ties (Jungkook Love Story || Pt.9)

Pt.8 || Pt.10

Your parents have worked hard to get to the top and have made sure to teach you everything you need to know to be successful in this business: from tough but lucrative financial decisions, down to the right ball gown for any given banquet. A promising and extravagant future awaits you- that is, if you agree to one teensy detail...

Son of Mr.Jeon Sr. and heir to June Company, Jeon Jungkook is an immature playboy with nothing to offer a woman but good looks and a crap ton of money, and he stands to inherit much MUCH more, so long as you both enter into the arranged marriage contract that was drawn up before the pair of you were even born.

You're more than willing to try, but you're not sure you'll be able to stand each other long enough to inherit a single penny...

Series Warnings: There will be smut in the near future and I will label those chapters as such. As I say before most of my pieces- I do not endorse any themes, ideas, or behaviors in this series. This is all purely fiction/fantasy! Feel free to inbox me suggestions/ideas/what you'd like to see in this series and I'll see what I can do! Enjoy <3

Recap: For years, you've heard people say that your first time isn't as special as the movies make it seem. They say it's something to just get done and move on from so you can start having good sex- and maybe that's true for some people, but this? You like this.

- Lisa: Kookie, where are you? I miss you <3

Your heart begins to pound in your chest. You look over at the bathroom door, still closed, though you've heard a flush.

Without another thought, you dart out of the bed, quickly yanking on your clothes, making sure to leave absolutely no trace of yourself behind in that room.

You finally hear the bathroom door open though when you do, the hotel room door is already clicking shut behind you.

You sit in front of your computer, brows furrowed in concentration as your eyes dart from one tab to the next, typing furiously. Since you've been back home, you've been working non-stop, getting everything ready for your transition from your parents' business to Jeon Company. Beside the tedious tasks to be completed before going back to Seoul, you've made it a point not to think too much about your return.

"Don't you think you should at least respond to his messages?" B/f/n says one night on facetime. "I've been responding to mine and his mother's messages, he knows I'm fine, there's nothing to talk about." "Y/n, he walks around here like a lost puppy. He tries to hide it but it's so obvious." "Tell Lisa where her dog is then." "Y/n, maybe it was a misunderstanding." "Honestly, I don't really care anymore. I've made my peace with the idea that he might end up being my husband but he will never...never be mine," The sting is present but you ignore it. "There's no way you've made any sort of peace with...any of this. What you guys did was kind of a big deal." "It...was what it was. It was gonna happen anyway, and now I'm glad we didn't wait until the wedding night so we wouldn't kid ourselves into thinking it's some sacred act." "But it was." "I've uh, gotta go," You say, having received a notification of an incoming call on your apple watch. B/f/n sighs, "Alright...talk later." "Yeah." Without another word, you hang up the call.

It's not that you mean to be mean. You can feel yourself being short with your parents, with B/f/n, but you can't bring yourself to continue answering their questions. How are you? Why haven'y you called? Did something happen between you and Jungkook? What happened? It's humiliating enough to know he fucked you without any real plans to ever get rid of his ex-girlfriend- you don't need to be telling the whole world about it. The only reason you even told B/f/n about it was because she was the one who drove you to the airport. She could immediately tell something was off and you couldn't hold it in for any longer and began crying and carrying on. You've never been one for dramatics and tears...but this one stung. No, worse... This one might have finally broken your spirit.

"I could oversee the Australia branch on this one if you want. I'm much more familiar with the market over there -" You're trying to focus on the presentation being given by a member of the marketing department, though your mind keeps teetering back and forth between the information and your personal life. Suddenly, you see a txt message notification pop up at the corner of your laptop screen. Jungkook. Your heart skips a beat, though you quickly dismiss it and turn your attention back to the front of the room, but it doesn't stop- another message, another message, another- soon you have 5 messages from him. You bite your lip, feeling anxious to know what he's saying but not wanting to give in. "Uhm, you'll have to excuse me for just a moment," You say, shooting out of your chair and abruptly walking out of the room, leaving everyone staring at you from the other side of the big glass wall as you walk down the hall.

You take your phone out and unlock it, quickly opening up to his messages.

𝗝𝘂𝗻𝗴𝗸𝗼𝗼𝗸: 𝗬/𝗻 𝗜 𝗿𝗹𝗹𝘆 𝗻𝗲𝗲𝗱 𝘁𝗼 𝘁𝗮𝗹𝗸 𝘁𝗼 𝘆𝗼𝘂 𝗝𝘂𝗻𝗴𝗸𝗼𝗼𝗸: 𝗜𝗱𝗸 𝘆 𝘂𝗿 𝗮𝗻𝗴𝗿𝘆 𝘄𝗶𝘁𝗵 𝗺𝗲 𝗯𝘂𝘁 𝗰𝗻 𝗽𝗹𝗲𝗮𝘀𝗲 𝘁𝗮𝗹𝗸? 𝗝𝘂𝗻𝗴𝗸𝗼𝗼𝗸: 𝗦𝗼𝗺𝘁𝗶𝗻𝗳 𝗵𝗮𝗽𝗽𝗲𝗻, 𝗜 𝗿𝗹𝗹𝘆 𝗻𝗲𝗲𝗱 𝘁𝗼 𝘁𝗮𝗹𝗸 𝘁𝗶 𝘆𝗼𝘂 𝗝𝘂𝗻𝗴𝗸𝗼𝗼𝗸: 𝗜𝘁 𝗰𝗮𝗻𝘁 𝘄𝗮𝗶𝘁 𝘂𝗻𝘁𝗶𝗹 𝘆𝗼 𝗰𝗼𝗺 𝗯𝗮𝗰𝗸 ��𝘂𝗻𝗴𝗸𝗼𝗼𝗸: 𝗣𝗹𝘇 𝗬/𝗻

"What the fuck..." You mumble, furrowing your brows. Is he having a stroke or something? You slap your hand to your forehead and press the call button on his contact. You swore you wouldn't talk to him at all while you were back at home, yet here you are, calling him. It rings only twice and then you can hear rustling on the other side, along with loud music.

"J-Jungkook?" You say into the phone, suddenly unsure if he meant to answer it, as it takes him quite a few seconds to say anything. "Y/n? Y/n- can you hear me?" He says loudly into the phone, his tone surprised and desperate. "Yes...I can hear you."

"Y/n, why haven't you been answering me?" "Because...I needed some space." "Space? After what we did?" It isn't until now that you notice his speech is a bit slurred. "Yeah, I needed space...hey, are you drunk?" "Are you still gonna marry me?" "Answer the question, Y/n." "You first," You narrow your eyes at the wall as though he were standing right in front of you. "Alright, fine. I may have had a few beverages. But it's your fault." "Please, tell me how this is my fault?" "Because you left me. You used me and then left me." You let out a bitter laugh, "Right, I used you." "So are you gonna marry me or what?" He repeats.

"I'm hanging up." "The phone or the relationship?" "You're not even making sense, Jungkook," You know perfectly well what he means, but you don't want to have this conversation with him, knowing how absolutely inebriated he sounds. "You don't make sense," He sounds much like a child. "Good bye." You don't let him get in another word before you hang up the phone.

You don't immediately return to the meeting, deciding you need a moment to gather yourself. As angry as you are, hearing his voice was oddly comforting. You hate that.

It's the last day of your time back home and you've packed up a lot of your things that you'll be sending to Seoul. The departure is bitter... there is no more sweet left in you to give you hope for your arrival at your new home. You don't know how you're gonna do it... your mom tried to talk you into having a bridal shower but you managed to wiggle out of it, though not without compromise. "What time is the fitting on Wednesday?" You ask your mom. "1PM. I arranged for everyone to meet fifteen minutes early though," She says excitedly. By everyone, she means herself, Mrs.Jeon, and all of your bridesmaids...including Lisa. For two to three hours, you'd be forced to play nice with the person at the center of your current rage- well, one of the people at the center. You'd be marrying the other one after. Though you suppose two to three hours is better than an entire night for a bridal shower.

"Make sure you sleep on the plane, the Jeon's invited us to dinner when you get back." "Great." "Don't start, Y/n. After Friday afternoon, they'll be family. You need to start playing smart." "I'm not playing a game to begin with," You say wearily. "Now, I don't know what happened between you and Jungkook-" You prepare to argue with her and tell her to mind her business, but she cuts you off, "-BUT- you need to put it aside and make amends. You cannot start this marriage on a bad foot." "Alright..." You concede. Pointless in protesting when you're gonna go through with it anyway.

The plane ride is long, though you spend about two thirds of it sleeping and the last bit, writing a portion of a project proposal you'd be sending your dad on behalf of the marketing team. If you just keep your head down and your mind busy, maybe you'll be able to float through the next few days without a hitch.

When you land, it's only B/f/n and Namjoon who are there to receive you. Typical. Though you'd been quite dry with B/f/n since during your time away, she is like a breath of fresh air and a sight for sore eyes and you can't help the big smile that spreads across your face when you see her. Of course, never one to hold a grudge, she embraces you tightly. "Wow, three weeks away and you'd swear Y/n was coming back from war," Namjoon jokes. B/f/n doesn't let go of you, just lazily hits him on his arm and continues hugging you. "Listen to me; you are going to be strong this week, okay? Don't think about anyone but yourself. I'll be right next to you the entire step of the way." Her words bring tears to your eyes and all you can do is struggle to nod, as she is holding you quite tightly.

When you get back to the hotel room, you drop everything and leap into bed, your heart content to just lay there... "Don't get too comfortable. Dinner's in...an hour and a half," She reminds you. You groan, face down into the mattress. You lazily roll over and stare up at the ceiling, "Maybe, if I'm lucky, I'll be reincarnated as a bed bug." "You are such a weirdo." "I'm serious...and all I'll have to do is live in people's mattresses and feast and poop...if I'm lucky, some weary traveler will transport me somewhere great, and that's how i'll live my life." "Just my luck, I'll end up being the traveler," She grumbles, causing you to laugh. "That's right, you'll never be rid of me."

You practically drag your feet behind your parents and B/f/n. No part of you wants even to exist in the same vicinity as Jungkook right now, let alone eat dinner with him and his family. "You better fix your face," Your mom says over he shoulder, and though you're not able to fully see it, you know she's saying it through gritted teeth. "Ah, welcome back!" You hear Mr.Jeon's voice come from the direction just ahead, though your parents are completely blocking your view. You immediately 'fix your face', as your mom so lovingly put it, and stepped out from behind your dad to give the most fake smile of your life- though once the entire table is in view, you realize it's only his parents. No Jungkook in sight...and for some reason, your heart falls just a little bit, though you're sure your face doesn't give you away. "H-Hello, how are you both?" You give a small bow. "Oh, we're good. How was your trip? Did you get a lot done?" Mrs.Jeon asks, her smile warm and inviting. "Yes, I did. Thanks for asking." You glance at the empty chair and it seems as though she notices because then she says, "You'll have to excuse Jungkook tonight. He's at the office preparing for a presentation for Wednesday." "Oh, yes of course," You reach for your glass of water and look at B/f/n, who gives you a small smile. At least it'll be a calm dinner...

Dinner was a breeze, the conversation flowing between your parents effortlessly; you mostly sat with your eyes on your plate, your spoon pushing around the little rice you had left. You couldn't help but let your mind wander to Jungkook...

"Earth. To. Y/n," B/f/n calls in a robotic voice, waving her hand in front of your face. "Mm?" "You okay?" She asks, putting her hair up in front of the bathroom mirror. "Oh, yeah. Sorry...I guess I spaced out." "Mhm...was it in Jungkook land again?" "What? Of course not," You try to lie but you know she ain't buying it. "Don't you think it's high time you guys talk? It's been weeks." "If I don't see that boy until the wedding day, I'll be perfectly fine." "Don't let the universe hear you," She warns, rubbing her face cream between her fingers. "Fuck the universe," You say arrogantly before turning around and leaving the bathroom.

The next morning, your alarm goes off at around 6:30, eliciting a groan from you. You grab the pillow next to you and smash it against your face, not wanting to face the day. "It's tiiiiiiiiiiime," B/f/n sings at the highest possible pitch, mimicking Mariah Carrey's 'All I Want For Christmas'. "Shut up," You whine. She's usually not a morning person but as soon as your mom told her she was in charge of getting your hair and makeup done for the fitting, she insisted that you set an early alarm. Apparently, getting ready at 11AM for your 1PM fitting wasn't enough time because, as she so lovingly put it, she's "not a miracle worker".

"I don't even get why you guys are making such a big deal out of this. It's just a fitting- why do we need hair and makeup?" "You are probably the most annoying bride I've ever worked on," She rolls her eyes, patting the beauty blender lightly on your skin. "I'm the only bride you've ever worked on." "And you're already souring my experience. This is the first time you're trying on your dress- it needs to be a memorable and impactful experience." "Fine..." You cross your arms over your chest and roll your eyes, deciding it's better to give in than to keep fighting it. All you want to do is stay in bed and sulk.

The only good to come out of the fitting today is the fact that you'll be seeing all your college friends; Han Soo-Hee, Shin Se-Kyung, Jisoo, and Jung Chae-yeon. You'd not seen them in a couple years and it'll be nice to catch up. Of course, the only downside-

"Lisa!" Mrs.Jeon says cheerfully, walking ahead of you, B/f/n, and your mom into the bridal shop. Your heart starts pounding and you can feel your blood boiling instantly. "Breathe," B/f/n whispers to you. "Mrs.Jeon!" Her voice is sickeningly sweet and you can tell by the hug she gives her that she's intent on laying it on thick. "I'm so happy you accepted to be a bridesmaid on such short notice," Mrs.Jeon turns to the side and extends her hand to motion to you, "This is Y/n." "Y/n, it's so nice to formally meet you," Lisa says with a low bow. "Same to you." You're such a liar. "I'm so excited to see you in your dress- I'm sure you'll make a beautiful bride." Her comment takes you by surprise and it takes you a moment to respond. "Th-thank you," You blush. "Of course- I'm sorry, how rude of me. What's your name?" B/f/n gives a polite smile, though you knew her enough to know that it was totally fake, "I'm B/f/n. Maid of honor." "Oh that's so sweet- You're so lucky. I won't ever be able to be a maid of honor unless my best friend finally gets married. You may have met her. Rose?"

Your mind flashes back to Rose's burning rage that day when she pulled up on Jin while you were out to dinner with Jungkook. "That sounds vaguely familiar."

"Yeah, well anyway- probably never gonna happen. Her boyfriend's a raging asshole. Anyway, are we expecting anyone else?" Lisa asks.

This whole thing feels strange. She seems way different from the impression she gave that day in the bathroom at Kook's party. You expected to be met with a sour attitude and cattiness, but she seems quite...bubbly.

"Yeah, our four other bridesmaids should be here shortly," B/f/n says, checking her watch.

Not a second goes by and the bell on the bridal shop door chimes, announcing the arrival of the rest of your court. "WHERE'S THE BRIDE!?" Se-Kyung exclaims, throwing her hands up in celebration.

"MY GIRLS!" You cheer, both you and B/f/n running to hug your guests. Instantly, you feel yourself relax. It doesn't matter how this fitting goes, you finally have your people around you.

After a few minutes, you were all lead by a sales associate to a back room with various mirrors and a pretty pink couch, the walls lined with dresses upon dresses. On the furthest wall, facing the couch, is a platform with three mirror, meant for you to be able to look at yourself from all angles...the thought makes you want to gag.

You're going into this fitting basically blind, not having been shown a single stitch of your dress until this moment. The sales lady leaves you in a room with it, hung high up to keep the long train from sagging on the floor. You stare at the grand gown for some time- so long that the sales lady comes back and knocks on the door, "You okay in there?" "Just-just a moment," You say, scrambling to get your clothes off and slip into the dress, holding it up at the bodice so as not to expose your boobs before they've laced you in.

You don't dare look in the dressing room mirror- seeing yourself might just make it too real and right now, you're trying desperately to convince yourself that this is all one big dream that you're gonna wake up from. Once the dress is secured, you pick the heavy skirt up and walk out to your court, each lady waiting for you with a glass of champagne in hand. A series of claps and cheers erupt and you feel your face burn. You stand with your back to the mirror, facing everyone. Your moms eyes are welling with tears, Mrs.Jeon has her hands covering her mouth, B/f/n and all of your bridesmaid's are fawning over you. "You look absolutely gorgeous," Mrs.Jeon says. "Doesn't she? God, Jungkook won't be able to keep his eyes off you," Se-Kyung smiles ear to ear. "Or his hands!" B/f/n adds, causing you to blush even harder. Even your mom and Mrs.Jeon can't hold back a laugh at her most inappropriate comment.

"So, what do you think?" Chae-Yeon asks. "About what?" You ask. "About the dress, you goof." "Oh- it's fine," You say, looking down and smoothing out the bottom. "Just fine? Did you even look in the mirror?" B/f/n asks. You respond with a long period of silence, pursing your lips. "Turn your ass around and look in that mirror," Jisoo reprimands you. "I did!" "Liar!" "Ugh, fine." You cross your arms tightly over your chest, shut your eyes tight and turn around. You brace yourself for a few seconds before finally, slowly opening your eyes.

You'd heard about this before- this moment. The moment where you see yourself for the first time in the dress. In everyone's stories, it's the second or the third dress, maybe even the tenth- but the moment will always come where you see yourself in that dress and simultaneously, see your future unfolding in your reflection. Suddenly, your eyes begin to well too. You can no longer pretend; this is real. Mom was right, you think, the hair and makeup did make a difference.

"It's the dress," Your mom says softly, pride in her voice. Everyone erupts in cheers again, though you hardly pay it any mind- your mind is completely and totally fixed on this feeling in your chest...

You want to see Jungkook.

B/f/n helps put the dress safely in the trunk for you, leaving you standing there with Lisa, as the other girls had headed off to the restaurant to get your table and your mom and Mrs.Jeon went back to the hotel to start dealing with the preparations of the ballroom. Lisa had been quite warm and welcoming to everyone the entire fitting, and you began to question whether or not you'd imagined her conversation with Rose.

Could it have been that you misunderstood everything? You misread the situation? Did you fuck everything up by jumping to conclusions?

"Uhm- Hey Lisa, we're gonna be going out to dinner once we pull out of here...would you like to join us?" You ask, the words feeling strange as they come out of your mouth.

"Oh, that's so nice of you to ask- unfortunately I really have to go take care of some stuff at home. Rain check?" "Yes, of course. No worries...And hey, listen. Thanks again for agreeing to be part of my court." "Of course, it's not a problem at all," She opens her arms to you, a warm expression on her face as she goes in for a hug. You gladly return the gesture, though once she's pulled you in, she brings her lips really close to your ear, "Anything for Jungkoook."

Venom drips off of her every word, the air thick between you; and suddenly, it all makes sense. The uncharacteristically sweet smiles, the polite bows, the compliments...she's an actress, and this fitting was her stage. In fact, the entire Jeon family is a plot device for her performance. She doesn't want Jungkook...she wants to be adored.

This is why Jungkook doesn't believe me.

Before you're able to respond in any way, Lisa is letting you go, walking in the opposite direction toward her car.

The rest of the day is a bit of a blur; so much to take in and so little to time. Dinner, drinks at the hotel bar, and now, more drinks at a pub a few blocks away. You decide to put Lisa out of your mind and just enjoy the company of your friends: drinks upon drinks are passed around, laughter and merriment fill the air- before you know it, your insides feel warm and fuzzy and your mind more free and uninhibited. "I'm gonna call him," You say, standing from your chair, a self-righteous expression on your face as you pound your chest once. "That's the best idea you've had all night," B/f/n says. "Call him!" Se-Kyung shouts. "Call him, call him, call him!" They all pound on the table, cheeks cherry red and hair disheveled- you were the sloppiest bunch anyone ever did see.

You take your phone out of your purse and punch in his number- having grown accustomed over the past few weeks at seeing it pop up on your screen, you'd memorized the number by heart. You can faintly hear it ringing but the music in the bar is so loud that you decide to stumble your way out to the parking lot. It continues to ring a few more times before he finally picks up.

"Hello?" Jungkook's voice is groggy, like he'd been sleeping. "Where were you at dinner?" You ask, cutting to the chase. "Y/n it's...it's 1AM. Where are you?" "Fuck you," You slur. "Fuck you too," He returns the same cold tone, though he doesn't hang up. "Fuck you more!" You hang up on him, mouth hanging open in disbelief at how rude he's being. Clearly, you're drunk. You can't hold what drunk people say against them. "Asshat," You grumble, returning to your friends.

About fifteen minutes go by and everyone is absolutely zombified, with B/f/n having tapped out five minutes prior, her head resting on the table. "I'm never drinking again..." Jisoo groans. "It'll be at least...twelve hours before I can stomach another drink," Se-Kyung adds. "Y/n," A familiar voice says behind you. You turn around and realize it's Namjoon. "'Joon?" You ask incredulously, "How'd you know we were here?" He chuckles, "It's my job to know. Remember?" He walks around to B/f/n and sweeps her hair out of her face. She's sound asleep. "I'm here to take you all home." "I could've gotten a car, you didn't have to do that-" "Jungkook sent me." You blink in surprise. Jungkook? "You're kinda hot," Chae-Yeon says, staring dreamily at him. "Thanks but I'm seeing someone," He says politely, gently scooping B/f/n up into his arms. "Everyone ready?"

Thursday goes by quickly, with everyone scrambling to get everything ready for the wedding. Your mothers decided to hold the wedding at the other hotel location about thirty minutes away for a nice change of scenery. Decorations are being brought in, tables and chairs set up, tapestries are brought in and hung up all over the hall ceiling. It's all coming together quickly- a circus of workers directed by yours and Jungkook's mothers. You avoid thinking about the previous night's shenanigans, cringing at yourself for having sunk so low as to drunk dial him.

But you also can't stop thinking about the absolute lack of consideration- sending Namjoon instead of just getting you all himself? What a prick...not that you wanted to see him, but it's about common decency. Don't get someone else to do your job. Even if it is technically what Namjoon gets paid to do...

"Stop talking so much, I'm getting a headache," B/f/n says sarcastically, gently nudging you. You're snapped out of your thoughts, cheeks blushing slightly, "Sorry. Just out of it today." "I can see..." You both watch as flowers are placed inside of the tall vases at the center of each table. "Am I making a mistake?" You ask, not looking over at her. She doesn't respond for a few seconds and you begin to wonder if she even heard you. "Do you love him?" She asks. Your cheeks get hotter and hotter, embarrassed by her question. "Love? I- I barely know him..." You nervously twiddle your thumbs. It's true, you barely know him...but you can't help the way your heart flutters at the word: love. You'd never been in love before...but if you're being completely honest with yourself, you can't deny that this feeling within you is nothing like the crushes you've had in your youth. This is a heavy, sticky feeling- a painful yet exhilarating condition of the heart. Love...how could you dare to speak it out loud? "Only you can answer that," B/f/n says, referring to the initial question, "And once you do, the next question is...now that you've gotten to know him, could you see yourself going back to the way life was without him?" "B/f/n! Can you please help me with this? I can't decide if I want them to out the couple's table on the left or right side!" Mrs.Jeon calls out. "Bridesmaid duty calls," She says to you before jogging over to the far end of the ballroom to give her input.

Her question stays with you, like a heavy boulder on your shoulders. The truth is, you know you can't go back. Not now...not after all of this... You guess you have your answer.

You toss and turn all night, your dreams plagued with nightmare scenarios of how it might go during the ceremony. One moment, Jungkook is saying 'I do', and then you somehow morph into Lisa before he can kiss you. In another moment, he's completely walking away and running out of the church, holding Lisa by the hand. It feels like the night only lasts as much as the blink of an eye before B/f/n is shaking you awake, her hair disheveled and eyes barely open, "Girl are you okay?" "Wh-what?" "You were like...whimpering in your sleep- and your alarm has been going off for like five minutes." You suddenly become aware of your very loud alarm. "Sorry," You say groggily, reaching over and turning off your alarm, "Just had a rough night." "I can imagine...you're probably feeling really nervous." "Yeah..." You sit up and slouch forward, your eyes locking onto the TV that's already turned on and fixed on the news channel. You mindlessly watch as clips play, one after another- and then you see an image of the Jeons' hotel. It then switches to a reporter who says, "June Company will soon be merging with L/N Co., which will open jobs throughout the country, as well as in Australia, the United States, and Japan."

"Looks like your merger is making headlines," B/f/n says, jaw practically on the floor. Your face is completely frozen and your heart is pounding. You feel as though you may have an enormous panic attack. You obviously know that the Jeons are kind of a big deal, but you didn't realize just how important this was all going to be. "Y/n?" She sees your expression and quickly turns off the television. "Let's just get you ready, yeah? Come on." She helps you out of bed and leads you to the bathroom. You're practically catatonic for the next hour while you brush your teeth and take a quick shower.

You get your hair and makeup done at the other location, having been put up in a room that connects to the ballroom. Mirrors were brought in to aid in the court's preparation. Every few minutes, you look over at the dress that's hung up on the opposite wall from the collapsable vanity where you're sitting. You don't dare take it out of the garment bag for fear of messing it up. Your mind is still so full of thoughts, all shouting at you for individual attention. It's almost like you're on auto-pilot, the makeup artists asks you to tilt your head or suck in your cheeks, or puff out your lips and you do- though it doesn't register that you've been cooperating so well until those odd moments you look in the mirror and realize your face is almost done.

In fact, you're so out of it that you don't notice Lisa come in. Now, your bridesmaids lovingly picked out coordinated velour tracksuits; yours is black, theirs are pink. They even got one for Lisa, but apparently she didn't need it because her dress is already on and her makeup is already done. Of course, she looks beautiful; her dress fits her absolutely perfectly, the silk fabric laying beautifully on her hips, and the color compliments her skin tone so that she looks like a pretty little porcelain doll...but fuck her. "Hey, Y/n would you mind just coming out to do a run through of the walk?" Your mom asks, popping her head into the suite. You nod, standing up and dusting the setting powder off of yourself, all bridesmaids in tow, though at the last second before entering the ballroom, Lisa says, "I'll meet everyone in a few minutes, I just have to run to the restroom really quickly," to which no one responds of even gives a flying fuck about. Because again, fuck her.

You'd practiced the entrance yesterday with everyone except Jungkook who, of course, was in meetings all day as he had been all week. You're surprised he's even found time to marry you today. Right now, he and his groomsmen are all in another part of the hotel getting ready; you're only practicing with the bridesmaids. You all run through it about three times and then head back to the suite to wrap up getting ready. One by one, all your bridesmaids slip on their dresses and jewelry and head to the next room over to start recording their video diaries for when you put the wedding video together. You're the only one who has yet to put on your dress. You needed the moment to be private; a second to gather your thoughts. You close the door to the suite and then slowly walk over to the garment bag. "This is it..."

You take off your tracksuit and lay it neatly on a nearby chair, leaving yourself in only your pretty, white, lacey bra and delicate silk, white panties with a small bow at the front. B/f/n had insisted you wear them so you could feel beautiful through and through- you initially thought it was an unnecessary detail, though as she is about most things, B/f/n was absolutely right- you do feel beautiful. You gingerly pull down the zipper of the garment bag, revealing the big white gown. Just as beautiful as you remember it from the fitting. You take it off of the hanger and walk over to one of the mirrors leaned against the wall. You step into the gown and pull it up- of course, you'll need help lacing it in but you just want an intimate moment to look at yourself. You press it against your chest and look up at your reflection-

and then the blood drains from your face.

You feel your hands get stiff and ice cold, and you feel that familiar tightness in your chest.

The panic attack that could not come to fruition this morning has now returned with a vengeance, and you are doubled over, sturggling for oxygen.

Cuts. Cuts everywhere. All over the skirt of the dress. Deep, angry slashes. How did I not see them before? How did I miss them? Were they there when I got to the hotel after the fitting? No, it couldn't be- B/f/n put it in the trunk and then hung it up at our hotel room... when did this happen?

Tears stream down your face as you slump forward in the chair. It's drafty in this suite but you can't bring yourself to put the tracksuit back on, or even to move at all beyond the violent jerking of your shoulders with every sob. "Y/n, Y/n, are you okay!?" B/f/n runs over to you, having just finished her recording, "What happened!?" You can't even speak, you just point to the mound of fabric on the floor that once was your dress...that once was the dress. She picks it up off the ground and holds it up, her mouth immediately falling open in disbelief. She's just as confused as you are. "What- how even- This dress was in perfect condition when I brought it here. I checked," She says angrily, trying to rack her brain just like you had only moments ago. Your crying intensifies, a strong feeling of defeat washing over you.

"Oh, Y/n," Her face softens and she hugs you tightly. "I don't know what the hell I'm gonna do. That was the dress. That was the last shred of hope I had for this God-forsaken marriage. Now what? I have no dress, I haven't seen Jungkook once since I've been back. I have nothing left in me to give..." She lets you cry into her chest for a moment before pulling away, "Okay, we have a little less than an hour before the ceremony. Let me see what we can do." She runs out of the room and then you're alone again. Completely and utterly alone...

About fifteen minutes go by and not a single person has entered the suite. You assume they're all trying to figure out what happened and how to help. Your cries have quieted down a bit but still have not ceased. You feel broken and you're tired of fighting it.

Knock. Knock. Knock.

You're snapped out of your thoughts, head lifting up and looking toward the door, "Come in," You say, your wavering voice just loud enough to be heard from the other side. The door opens slowly, and you expect to see B/f/n or maybe your mom, but instead, Jungkook walks in, his expression soft and solemn as he closes the door behind him.

"Hey, Y/n."

A/N: Hope you all liked it! Plz comment and DM for suggestions on what you'd like to see happen next in the story; you might inspire me <3

Also, I am so honored that ppl would want me to tag them in the next part. To know anyone likes this series enough to keep up with it is so heartwarming. So, with that being said:

@ttanniett <3

[satureja13]

First Witch: "When shall we three meet again? In thunder, lightning, or in rain?" Second witch: "When the hurlyburly’s done, When the battle’s lost and won." Third Witch: "That will be ere the set of sun." (Lines above are the opening of Shakespeare's MacBeth)

Noxee arrived at Hummelshain Castle ere the sun fully rose up over the ocean. She left Moonwood Mill before Greg woke up or otherwise he wouldn't have let her go. They just had a few hours together after he returned from training the Boys beyond the Veil. Since Noxee is co owner of Strawberry Cake Fashion, she picked some clothes from the new pack and this outfit was one of the very few pieces she liked. (There are so many talened creators out there, why do we get such ugly clothes? for a romance pack at that. And if there's something nice, the colors are so ugly.)

The girls are still busy. Noxee decided to wait in the kitchen and make some Churros for their meeting. She will need all the good vibes she can get ö.Ö' Noxee knows how much Ms Coombes hates Jack...

Churros are the only meal Noxee can cook and she hopes they will meet the taste of the girls. Noxee loves her kitchen at the Bunker, but this one is just amazing. It makes her almost wish she could really cook ^^'

The girls are done with their seance. First Witch Ms Coombes: "Ach, these Boys!" Oh oh, Ms Coombes doesn't seem to be in a good mood... I wonder what she saw in her crystal ball ö.ö And poor Noxee has to try to convince her and the others that Jack and Kiyoshi can be mates, just mates...

At least Francine greeted her cordially. Since Francine is Jeb's grandmother and Saiwa is Noxee's 'Baby', they are quasi family :3 (They are utterly convinced that Sai and Jeb will find their way back together again - and if they are, who am I to question it ^^') Dtui is Kiyoshi's mentor. And she's also Ms Coombes fated mate. They even have the same hairstyle today... So she will be on Ms Coombes side as it seems ö.ö

Ms Coombes looked at the Churros: "As sparkly and glittering as the cook who made them." Is this meant as a cut-up or intended to be funny - or as a compliment? Noxee, always on the bright side of life, goes for a diplomatic: "Thank you, I'm glad you like them."

Ms Coombes: "I know you want the Boys to be happy. But we have to think of the future of the Resistance. We never had a diety within our rows. And Kiyoshi hasn't even reached his full potential yet. All the good he can do for all of us. We can't let Callahan drag him down. He will keep his distance to Kiyoshi." Noxee: "Kiyoshi worked himself sick at the Temple and as a mole for the Resistance. He even had to leave the Temple. He already did a lot of good for all of us - until he broke." Ms Coombes: "It was Callahan's fault Kiyoshi had to leave the Temple! He asked to much of Kiyoshi, wanted him all for himself with his groundless jealousy and paranoia. He almost killed Kiyoshi! And himself! Noxee, you've seen yourself how broken Jack was. These two are not meant for each other. Fate must have made a terrible mistake." Spoken this, thunder roared over the castle. Dtui: "Rita, you know that's not true. Jack is Kiyoshi's fated mate and Kiyoshi failed him because he believed he had to make it up - for all the wrongs his family did." Ms Coombes: "We never asked anything of Kiyoshi, all he did for the Resistance was of his own free will." Noxee: "I think we all agreed to not overly mess with their lives. They are all grown up and they should be allowed to make their own decisions. It's not on us to tell them with whom they should hang out and with whom not. They don't have to listen to us anyway." Ms Coombes proofed Noxee wrong and showed her the contract: "Oh, they have to when it interferes with the guidelines of the Resistance. They all agreed to this, see? Kiyoshi is an important member of the Resistance and Callahan puts his powers in jeopardy."

Francine: "Let's all calm down, hm? Kiyoshi did so much better with Jack around. And the sad truth is that Kiyoshi wasn't of any help for us for months. He might never fully return to this realm and only drift further away." Dtui: "And Kojin likes Jack." Well, that's a knockout argument. Kojin is Dtui and Kiyoshi's diety, the one who saved their lives at their execution. Without Kojin, there would be no Kiyoshi - and no Dtui either. They owe him. Dtui: "And I know of a certain couple *she looked at Ms Coombes* who also dated against the will of the Resistance back in their days. They stated, a roughneck like you, Rita, would drag me, the Resistance's Golden Child, down. And look how strong and powerful we became together, hm?" Ms Coombes stopped Dtui before she spills more of their tea: "Ach, fine! Let them be mates, just mates or whatever!" Phew - Ms Coombes drives a hard bargain. But in the end, she agreed that Kiyoshi and Jack can be mates, just mates (or whatever). Francine chuckled. Just like herself, Rita and Dtui are also loyal receivers of the spicy monthly subscription boxes of Ye Olde Magick Shoppe.

After these exhausting negotiations, and to reward herself, Noxee so needed to go shopping. She went to Moda Capoliveri. Her favourite shop at Tartosa. Here she gets inspired by the latest fashion trends for Sai and her online store Strawberry Cake Fashion. And she also hopes to find some hot dessous - to reward Greg.

Noxee stays at the castle over night and just returned from the bathroom, where she took a long, hot shower and tried her new, hot outfit on. Back in her room, she found Greg waiting for her! Noxee: "Greg! What are you doing here?"

Greg: "Gods, you look gorgeous!"

Greg: "I missed you. Didn't want another night without you." And then he kissed her.

Greg: "This outfit is so, so hot. Do you think the gems will stay in place when we..." Noxee: "There is only one way to find out."

They did stay in place.

Greg seems to sense that Noxee has something on her mind. But she had promised Jack not to tell Greg about his condition after the bolt hit him in his chest. Greg: "I won't push you." Noxee: "I love you."

Greg: "This glue is just like magic. If the gems survive another round, I'll order it for my shop." Noxee: "Another round, hm?"

Spoiler: After thorough testing, Greg ordered the glue for his shop ;) (So Greg seems to have a jewelry shop in the real world too, not just ingame. Tiny Can being very accurate again ^^)

'See, don't ever set me free I always wanna be by your side Girl, you really got me now You got me so I can't sleep at night

Yeah, you really got me now You got me so I don't know what I'm doing, now Oh, yeah, you really got me now You got me so I can't sleep at night' You really got me - The Kinks

Outtakes

Now I know where Jeb has it from ^^'

From the Beginning 🔱 Underwater Love 🔱 Latest

Current Chapter: 'Here comes the Sun' from the beginning ▶️ here Last Chapter: 'Who killed Jack?' from the beginning ▶️ here

📚 Previous Chapters: Chapters: 1-6 ~ 7-12 ~ 13-16 ~ 23-28

[munsonlovers]

i need you to be careful, okay? - eddie munson

you'd been dating eddie munson for 4 years now. he was always the type to put himself in danger to protect the people he cared about.

you were always one to put others safety before yours even if it was just a small paper cut or if someone fell, you were right there. you two fit together like a puzzle piece, you guys were made for each other everyone said it and you guys knew it too.

eddie had barely survived the upside down but he came back to you and you took care of him when he was hurt and made sure he got better so he could finish high school once and for all.

he got a paper cut once and you were so worried. you made sure he cleaned it and wrapped it properly to prevent any infections. he loved that you care so much about him but he thought you were overreacting about such a small cut.

"baby, it's such a small cut and i'm not even bleeding that bad." he said smiling at you.

"i don't care eds, you could still get an infection and i-i'm not ready to almost lose you again." you said looking down.

"you won't lose me again sweetheart, i'm not going anywhere ever." he said giving you a kiss on the forehead.

since that day he's been careful with how he is at work and how he is anywhere that you aren't.

you'd worked a long shift at the radio shop across from family video. you just expected to come home, shower and crawl into bed with eddie but things changed when you saw wayne ruffling through eddie's closet for clothes and things he needs to stay over somewhere.

"hey wayne? what's all that for?" you questioned him.

he sighed and walked towards you.

"i can't believe he didn't have them call you. eddie got hurt at work. he broke his arm and has a few scratches, he also has a mild concussion. he's in better shape then they thought he was going to be y/n." wayne said rubbing your arm.

you couldn't believe it. eddie was so careful to not get hurt and here you were standing with wayne to pack him an overnight bag for the hospital.

you arrived and wayne barely had the car in park and you were already running in there asking about eddie munson. they showed you where he was and hopper was already there with eddie. he looked at you and frowned.

"kid, i'm so sorry this is happening. if you need anything, let joyce or i know." he said patting your back and walking out of the room.

you looked at him and yet with all the bruises and scars he had, you still thought he was beautiful.

"s-sweetheart, are you here?" he said looking for you.

of course he could identify that you were in the room. you are not sure if it was because you smelled like him or yourself.

"hi love, how are you feeling?" you said holding his hand.

"better now that your here." he said smiling at you.

even if he's feeling like shit, he still manages to flirt with you no matter who was around.

you smiled at him and kissed his forehead.

"baby what happened?" you said pushing hair off his forehead.

"i-i was working higher up then normal and all of a sudden something snapped. i went falling to the ground then i remember waking up with hopper beside me..." he said looking down.

you were so worried for him. he barley did anything after what happened in the upside down and now he looked upset that he let you down. he knew to be careful because he didn't want you to worry about him, yet here you were worrying about him.

"sweetheart, i'm just glad you are okay and that you're safe." you said rubbing his arm.

he was just glad you were here and not upset with him.

"i just didn't want to worry you or upset you because i did something really stupid." he said with tears in his eyes.

you put your hand on his face and moved his head up to meet your eyes.

"baby, you could never do anything to upset me. i just want you to be safe that's all. i've lost a lot of people in my life and i wasn't ready to lose you too." you said tearing up.

you'd lost a lot of people.

your dad, he was a marine and died protecting the country.

you lost your best friend to a stupid teenager who loved to hand out drugs to other teens.

hell you almost lost most of your friend group to this stupid upside down.

he looked at you with tears in his eyes. you never meant to make him upset, you just worried is all.

"baby, i'm just worried about you. i don't ever want to see you hurting." you said kissing his forehead.

"i know darling, i didn't mean to-" he said but you cut him off.

you kissed him. he smiled in the kiss and so did you. he knew you were just worried and wanted what's best for him. he poured all the love and appreciation for you into that kiss.

you bumped your noses together and he smiled wider. wayne had never seen his boy happier than when he was with you. he was so proud of how far you both have come and couldn't help but smile at you two.

"i need you to be careful, okay?" you smiled

"i love you so much, i promise not to do anything like this again." he said rubbing his thumb on your cheek.

you nodded and kissed his forehead again.

"you get some sleep and i will be here when you wake up." you smiled at him

he smiled back and cuddled up into the blankets. you held his hands as he fell asleep. wayne smiled at you and kissed your forehead.

"i'll be back later okay kid?" he whispered to you

you nodded and turned your gaze back to the boy you fell in love with in high school.

you knew he'd be okay but that wasn't going to stop you from practically being a helicopter girlfriend especially with him.

[synnthamonsugar]

Synnth’s Fic Rec Friday ….......... #3!

Inspired by the fic rec listed started by @a-driftamongopenstars and the Friday fic rec series by @flowers-of-io. I thought I would throw my hat into the ring with my own weekly(ish) whenever I feel like it series. (Tag: Synnth Recs)

Newness of Breath

By @scribonia-art

Read on AO3

Fandom: Destiny | Rating: General | Characters: Original Hive Lightbearer & Original Hive Ghost | Word count: 4,043 | Warnings: No archive warnings (see chapter notes for additional CWs)

A Hive Wizard awakes from the thoughtless sleep that had been death and she experiences the world for the first time. A Ghost is panicking because she had not been expecting an idle experiment to work.

If you've followed this series so far, you know I love Destiny fanfic that engages with the conventions of Destiny storytelling — most notably the venerable lore book, backbone of Destiny narrative, unparalleled for its ability to establish wide swaths of world-building, poignant character pieces, and memorable standalone works of fiction in short-form.

Newness of Breath leans into the style of Destiny grimoire to brilliant effect, delivering an unforgettable study of the Hive Lightbearer, Melammu, in around 4k words and 8 chapters.

There is sun on my skin. Dappled by thin scrub and short trees that grow on a rocky brown crag above me. Smears of white against the incredible blueness of the sky and the hot white orb that stings my eyes but delivers such sweet warmth that soaks down into my flesh. I close my eyes and turn my face to the sun. I feel its embrace.  If this is what Being is like, I am glad to Be. 

I'm a sucker for newly-revived Lightbearer stories. As someone who enjoys the narrative arc of the bildungsroman, but cannot stand any of that teenage angst stuff, Guardians, as a concept, are tailor-made for me. Imagine: An adult who has to figure out their identity and place in the world ... and they have an enigmatic little companion and cool powers. It's perfect.

I love the way this fic handles being newly born into a strange new life, the way it delivers the perspective character's inner monologue and the physicality of existence. Even something as simple as breathing or enjoying the sunshine is elevated from Melammu's point of view.

"I can't believe I just did that," says the thing as it frets above me, spinning in its many smooth chitin parts around its little core of silver and luminosity. It darts to and fro as if the motion would help it find its answer. I watch it from my rocky perch, blissful in the sun's warmth, claws folded together in my lap as I wait for it to speak to me. With no teeth or tongue I wonder how it speaks at all, but maybe its words are also new things like sparks struck from between unseen ineffable objects.

But the story of a new Lightbearer is never only that. The Ghost is always the second half, or should be. The terrified surprise felt by Ghost as their decision to revive a hive wizard settles in, pit against the curious naïveté of their ward makes for a fascinating dynamic.

"... what if I don't defend myself?" "They'll just kill you anyway." I look down at my claws and the Ghost cradled in them.  "Oh."

Loss of innocence as the main character comes to terms with the reality of their station is a staple of every "coming of age" story and this one is no different. I love how this fic grapples with the injustice faced by hive lightbearers, who, as with any other, are born with no inherent agendas or loyalties, and casts a spotlight on the hypocrisy of those who judge Guardians by their pre-Light lives.

Still, Melammu and Ghost care for each other, despite their strange and frightening circumstances and the acknowledgement that a mistake was made. I love the tenderness and compassion with which they treat each other, despite - or because of - their hardships.

We move at night. Fewer of my estranged cousins-in-the-Light are present in the darkness and, though the crisp moonlight shines brightly on the white of my frilled carapace, it is harder to see us.

The proceeding chapters are vivid and heartwrenching, and build to an emotional culmination that I dare not reveal here because it should only be experienced firsthand. (This is your cue to go read it now.)

Destiny is very much a story about devotion, duty and sacrifice, played out on cosmic scale but also in the interpersonal relationship between every Guardian-Ghost pair, and this story is exemplary of that most tender and bittersweet dynamic. As well as larger questions of what it means to exist, the meaning of life, and what to do with the life one is given.

Final rating: Will be thinking about this one forever/10

[mulders-too-large-shirt]

s2 episode 1 thoughts

here we goooooo!

(i started to imagine the sound of a really long and celebratory air horn to commemorate starting s2... but then that mental sound was awful so we ended that pretty quick)

it opens with mulder providing some gentle asmr about aliens and space with a thinly disguised undercurrent of rage in his voice, nice...

he starts talking about a guy named "richard bryan" cutting an alien survey program and that is such a generic name i figured they made it up for the show. and wrote "haha wouldn't it be funny if that was a real guy. and they made this whole episode just to mess with him."

chat. you're never gonna believe this. richard bryan was real and he did in fact cut the alien program. how do you think he felt being name dropped here? neeeeed to get his side of the story

(they also talk about the voyager a bit here which is really cool i won't lie)

now, what has our duo been up to in the time away from the x files? mulder is listening to men talk about lap dances and spitting sunflower seeds... i am not surprised here... all in the name of Research...

but scully is teaching at the academy!!! oh this delighted me to no end!

she starts getting emotional over the concept of a life being contained within tissue and her student is like "you sound spooky" ha. ha. i see what they did there. mulder you're a terrible influence.

they run into each other and she is so happy to see him but he totally blows her off! i was so sad!!!!

AUGH HE HAS HIS SISTER'S PHOTO ON HIS NEW DESK. aughhh man hold on. hold on.

scully is waiting outside watergate (wild they hadn't rebranded at that point tbh) for a shadowy figure and it is mulder! a very cranky and tired looking mulder! he's like we shouldn't be meeting, what do you need me for.... omg rude??

"so what did you want?" "to see if you're alright" (sound of me being sucked into emotional quicksand rapidly)

to answer her question of "are you okay" he begins to ramble about telescopes which is very in character

he says he saw deep throat's funeral but i remain suspicious....

the x files project being shut down has destroyed the man we used to know as mulder! he says that he isn't even sure if what happened to his sister is real anymore! they killed his spirit! "seeing isn't enough... i need solid evidence. i learned that from you" HEY OUCH?????

he's on the ground filled with a deep sadness and she runs her fingers through his hair, at which point i made this note: "y'all i'm only on season 2 i can't do this. i'm gasping so aggressively my mouth is hurting" so safe to say that i will be in for a hell of a ride moving forward... keep me in ur thoughts

baby fox flashback! we see his sister's abduction, which is obviously supposed to be very heavy and traumatic but i was laughing at the skinny little alien throwing her through the window lmaooo i love you 90's cgi <3

PAUSE. we see mulder waking up in a cold sweat from reliving his worst memory. but i see something new in the background: a fish tank in his room. this is a striking development that shall not slip by unnoticed.

and then some guy bursts into his room? and takes him to "the hill" to meet with a politician, who keeps calling him fox? who says they're being listened to? and tells him he needs to go to puerto rico where they're hiding evidence?

(tbh that sequence raised a lot more questions than it answered but i did love that mulder can name the bach piece that is being played because of his college music class lol)

SKINNER MENTIONED!!!! okay i figured out who he is: he's the one with the glasses and the fancy desk and the sidekick who is ALWAYS smoking. glad to have a name to the face. like yeah he was there last season but i had other things to focus on i guess.

cutscene to mulder lounging in a truck bed in puerto rico. niiiice. climbing compilation- niiiiiiice. and busting things open? hell yeah niiiiice

gasp... scully broke into his place (which i think is an entirely new set? or at least from a different angle. but um. okay i'll try and ignore that. but can anyone confirm or deny...?)

anyway she puts her glasses on and slips into password guessing mode and succeeds... i would have thought the FBI would keep tighter passwords on their personal devices than "trustno1" but hey maybe he did that so she could strategically break in!

and some dudes bust in and ask why she's here so she's like ummm i feed the fish lol.....

(and then she refuses to endanger the fish by overfeeding them because that's the type of person she is... and if it provides cover for sneaking out something printed from his computer well that's just a bonus!)

back to puerto rico!! guy in the bathroom reveal!!! mulder cannot speak spanish (smh mulder you were supposed to be the humanities one) but the dude draws a picture of an alien so i guess that proves that art is a universal language <3

scully is taking his paper she printed to some guy to analyze idk her freckles were distracting me again. sorry. NOT! i refuse to apologize. not during june.

(but she goes through some flight records and sees his alias and realizes where he's going and follows)

again, back to puerto rico! our new friend jorge is running for his life into a storm so our patient pal mulder naturally runs after him. into the jungle. and ohhhh jorge is dead now? that was quick.

he does a DIY autopsy on jorge while speaking into the voice recorder- which he addresses as "scully", while sounding like he is going to get sick, kicking things, sweating profusely, and doubting himself. hell yeah baby this is tv! i wanna see that man in situations!

"before i could only trust myself, now i can only trust you, and they've taken you away from me... my life up until this point has been about seeing her again, but what would i do if they really came?"

(now the first part of that is WILD. they've taken you away from me. that phrasing... also, they have successfully gotten the man to doubt his entire existence. sneaky little fbi trick there, making "trust no one" include himself)

BUT the skinny legend aliens return and he is brought back to his sense quickly. he gave it a good go (shot at it a bunch of times) but weirdly the gun didn't fire... probably a good thing. imagine the complications to alien diplomacy that would create!

he wakes up on the floor to scully explaining who she is and asking if he remembers her. he bolts awake, grabs her shoulders, and says that it was the same alien that took his sister. she is already deeply concerned when he then kicks aside a dead body and says we have to analyze it and her face in this moment was delightful. it was very much giving "mulder you're scaring me" just with the eyes

she has to make him realize they can't smuggle a body back to the states OR any of the paperwork really so he just grabs an audio thing that was clearly a better choice. but i want to know how he thought they were gonna get jorge out of there. because the alien hunters were coming to kill him and speed is hard enough for alive people.

"evidence doesn't matter if you're dead!" -dr. dana scully

they crash their way through the jungle, getting shot at and generally destroying what i'm sure is a very important ecosystem but still. they made it out! sorry to the environment </3

mulder gets called into skinner's office (i know that guy's name now!!! i'm so proud) and yelled at for blowing off his case work... and cigarette sidekick is also yelling at him but skinner kicks ciggy man out... is he... an ally? he tells him to go back to work on the job mulder finished like 2 weeks ago...... okay so what i'm seeing here is a boss who is willing to let a man pursue his passions

at the very end we see our duo reunited and it appears the audio he smuggled out of puerto rico had nothing recorded on it!

she tries to encourage him and he seems to be doing better: "i may not have the x files, scully, but i still have my work... (looong pause) and i still have you... (looong pause) and i still have myself" <- okay so looks like we're getting our boy back!!! who cheered?! meee!

he returns to the recording of men discussing strippers and she grasps his hand and then leaves him to his task...

BUT! the minute she leaves, he puts the first audio file back on and it seems to be working now... so why didn't he want her to know???

what is going on!!! i thought "trust no one" would logically mean mulder not trusting himself, but to not trust scully? well, this is madness! what have they done to the man?!

i suppose i will have no choice but to stay tuned and see if his mental state improves a bit with the return of the aliens...

i was really excited to start s2 and i took a lot of notes even for me LMAO some of which i cut out because it would take me forevvvver to capture all of my thoughts in even more detail than i have here but-

as the kids say: we are sooooooo back baby!!!!