#and I'd like to mitigate that as much as possible

[pomrania]

Expanding on some characters already here.

The Shattered Mirror two are tentatively named Eva and Evan (it doesn't sound as identical when spoken rather than written), and they visually complement each other. Before The Incident, they were very obviously the perfect couple, like they'd been designed for each other. In a break from common tropes, the non-corrupted knight is more scarred than the corrupted knight, because of the corrupted princess sending him into pointless danger more often. The non-corrupted princess doesn't have any visible signs of injury, very intentionally.

The Blossoming Lady has non-biological heritage from the fae, which becomes more apparent the more she knows herself. Currently it's at a level where she just looks like she's wearing unusual cosmetics; like her nails are naturally coloured, and she seems to have a painted design for eyeshadow. If you complete her quest, and either romance her or set her up with another character, then she's not FULLY transformed -- that will take a couple decades -- but she's very visibly not human; and by that point she can suppress those features if needed, but it's so much more comfortable to be fully and openly who she is. Tentatively, her name is Melisse.

The Cat Prince doesn't have a tentative name because names are for humans; he's addressed as "Cat", "Cat Prince", or "Mr Cat Prince sir" depending on the level of formality. His quest is about finding a worthy successor, to take care of the problems humans keep getting themselves into.

Under the cut, new characters; or more accurately, two characters where I'd earlier mentioned a concept for them, and it's gotten fleshed out since. Also some more about the immediate setting.

The Second Path. Definitely a mother, possibly a grandmother by now, she's waiting for the latest update on her children's families. She spent years exploring the joys (genuine) of a committed relationship with one partner, taking the time to learn each other and grow together; now that that phase of her life has reached its natural end, she wants to explore the joys of "sampling". She's up-front with her desires, but accepts "no" (and "not now") for an answer, although she'll also gladly take "yes". If the player is romancing someone else, she can assist with tips on what that character likes. Her quest involves an alleged debt from her youth as a fairytale heroine; she's been getting the dream version of phone calls to say that since she's "no longer a part of the royal family" because her spouse died and she left to travel, she no longer has that "protection". This is extremely arguable, and it's from someone hoping to prey on fear and ignorance and coerce her into "settling". She knows enough to know that she doesn't need to give in, but not enough to know how to make it stop.

The Thorn's Embrace. It is legitimately not his fault that he was cursed; maybe someone was mad at a person who was taking care of him, maybe he just happened to be in the blast radius when someone decided to inflict their hate on the world, I'm not sure what the best option is for that. His curse has enough of a grace period to it that the player character won't suffer if he starts to develop feelings, but once that happens he'll refuse to interact with them in anything more than the briefest manner (to starve that romantic desire) until the curse isn't a threat. Early on, this is just something to mitigate the curse, making it so it only becomes a risk if he PURSUES a romantic relationship with somebody, but the curse has to be completely lifted to fully romance him. If not romanced (and thus at least partially cursed), he can assist with the quests of certain other characters, where somebody needs to suffer, by dosing himself with love potion so the curse is pointed at the intended target.

The game takes place in a location called Haven, which was set up by a coalition of fairy not-quite-godmothers. For the span between two full moons, the place is protected from external threats or distractions, magic keeps the place clean and provides food and other necessities, and it promotes honesty about what one wants in a relationship. The dateable characters have been there for a few days before the player character arrives, enough to be familiar with each other.

…why do I keep having ideas for stuff that's in a genre and/or medium which I don't actually care about. Anyways, here's the thing that came to me last night while I was on a walk, it's a fairytale-inspired dating sim called After Ever.

All the dateable characters aren't DIRECTLY from fairytales, but they have the same kind of vibe; and their situations are all "from after the story concludes" in a way that has them looking for a partner. Some of them are divorced, some of them are widowed, at least two of them are in a committed relationship but it's also an open relationship, some of them are technically still married in a way where "dissolving the marriage" (one way or another) is part of their quest.

Gender options for the player character are "male", "female", and "no thanks". Then there's also the background options, which are "noble", "knight", "witch" (gender-neutral), and something I haven't thought up a good term for, where it's "whatever I may have been, I'm not that any more" (might have once been one of the other three, might have been something completely different; basically a blank slate). Dateable characters have preferences for gender and also… you know "background" isn't really a good term for this since it's the player character's CURRENT status, and I don't want to use "class" since when "noble" is an option (which is a term I was just using to include "prince", "princess", and "equivalent non-gendered term") it feels more like "social class" than "RPG class". Anyways, characters have preferences involving both that and gender, and there's characters you can't ROMANCE if you're a certain gender, but there's only two possible gender-and-whatsit combinations that will lock you out of a character's quest altogether (and each only goes for a different character).

(The rest is under a read-more because this got long.)

Each character has meters for "attraction" and "trust". You need high "trust" (among other things) to complete a character's quest, and high "trust" and "attraction" to romance them. Those are intentionally two separate things, with overlapping requirements. You can theoretically romance a character without ever interacting with the other characters (although it'd be more difficult), but completing their quest requires the assistance of a varying number of other characters (depending on the quest, and also some quests have different possible ways to progress them).

Here's some characters I've already thought about.

The Cat Prince. He has three forms: a human, a humanoid cat, and a cat. He's literally a cat who learned how to speak and how to transform into a human. He'd solved a bunch of problems for a bunch of people, and been rewarded for it, but it was human rewards and he doesn't care about those. You can only romance him if you learn how to transform into a cat (or at least a humanoid cat, but you'll have to work harder) because regardless of his current form, he's a CAT, and he doesn't find humans attractive.

The Shattered Mirror. Actually two separate characters. Their backstories start the same way, a knight and a princess meet and fall in love and fight through obstacles to be with each other again; the "final boss" is an evil wizard with a magic mirror. Then, their stories diverge. The princess remembers that the knight broke the mirror, but a shard cut through his heart, and he gradually became more cruel; after a year of marriage she realized this wasn't temporary, and after a few more years she realized that he was getting worse, then that she was in serious danger, and needed to escape. The knight remembers that the princess was the one who broke the mirror and gradually became cruel, until he had to escape. (Basically they're from two different timelines which diverged at "who broke the mirror".) They can't stand being near each other, because even if that's the uncorrupted version of someone they'd once loved, that's still the face of someone who made their life misery for years. You're locked out of her quest if you're a male knight, and his quest if you're a female noble, because they can't fully trust someone with the same characteristics that were used against them; you can still romance them, but it's harder, and it's only with the understanding that it's a short-term fling. Both of their quests are about dealing with their corrupted technically-still-spouse, and (among other things) involve you interfacing with the non-corrupted other person. You might or might not be able to do multiple different quests in the same playthrough, but you definitely can't complete both Shattered Mirror quests on the same one, because the timelines are only compatible when there's plausible deniability.

The Blossoming Lady. She realized she's lesbian a few years after she married her prince. They still care deeply for each other but she doesn't want to be his wife any more, and "divorce" would ruin him politically. Her quest is about getting her out of that marriage some other way; options include (but are not limited to) "faking her tragic natural death", "'revealing' her as a shapeshifter who'd impersonated the 'real' princess-consort", "creating a non-scandalous situation where divorce is not only politically acceptable but beneficial", and "strategically altering records and memories so they were never married as far as anyone else is concerned".

At least one character (no longer talking about the above, this is concepts I don't yet have characters thought up for) is middle-aged, who had a happy marriage with children that are now grown, before their spouse died. Another character is cursed, where everyone they love romantically is doomed to suffer; romancing them requires breaking the curse, and their quest is about finding the source of the curse and expressing displeasure at that. There's characters that will end up with each other if you don't do anything that could interfere, and characters that you can have them get together.

In the wider setting of the story, MARRIAGES are generally heterosexual, since they're also a legal contract about inheritance, by default assumed to be the couple's biological children. And changing things from that formula means finding a lawyer to write out a version that better fits the situation, so most people like that either go with the default but with the understanding that it isn't quite accurate, or they don't legally formalize their relationship. However, the characters aren't "most people", so the option of "marriage" depends on the character and the relationship, not the genders of anyone involved.

[green-and-grey]

if I had a nickel for every time I've sat down and written a heartfelt letter to a former science teacher of mine named Mr K who is nearly impossible to track down online I'd have two nickels

which isn't a lot, but it's weird that it's happened twice

[ignatiusteto]

CHARACTER THEME MUSIC COMMS NOW OPEN!!

Hi all! I opened my character theme comms for the first time today and thought I'd share the word here! I only have one slot left, but sharing this for visibility would REALLY help me out so others can learn about them and stay updated if they're interested! If you're interested and want to commission, send me a message on Twitter! You can also DM me on Twitter or reply to the Twitter post if you would like to be tagged next time comms open up!

Learn more from my Twitter post here: https://x.com/ignatiuscrose/status/1809649938713964579

TOS: https://crosemusic.carrd.co/

SoundCloud Character Themes playlist: https://soundcloud.com/ignatiuscrose/sets/character-themes

[inexplicifics]

Hiii! So your newest story got me binging your A/B/O fics (again) and got me wondering…

If AWAU was set in A/B/O, what dynamics would the main characters be? And would it have changed anything?

Ooooh what an interesting question. Alright, let's see how I'd make the AWAU omegaverse. I'm not going to do everyone, but I'll try to hit the main characters and relationships.

Jaskier: The obvious play is to go omega, but I think that's wrong. I think he's a beta, and therefore assumed he wouldn't be vulnerable to the "send off a less-valued child as tribute" ploy. This also explains why he was allowed to go to Oxenfurt and be a bit wild while there, as an omega might not - and why he's not higher in the line of succession for the county, as an alpha son might be.

Geralt: Again, the obvious choice is alpha, due to the whole Warlord of the North thing. But he didn't do that on purpose, after all, and part of the evolution of his relationship with Jaskier is Jaskier seeing past the Warlord-of-the-North mystique to the person beneath. Also, I'm going to assume that Witchers in the omegaverse AWAU have a method of concealing their scents, so as to mitigate issues with outsiders. So I think the feared and fearsome Warlord, who everyone assumes must be alpha among alphas, dominant and terrible, is an omega.

Eskel: Alpha. Of the "care for my pack" variety, specifically - he'll work himself to the bone looking out for the people who are his. And, occasionally, go avenge them on their enemies in dramatic and extremely violent fashion. And having a demisexual alpha pleases me.

Lambert: Again, very tempting to go alpha, with that temper. But I'm going to go beta, actually. He's just bad-tempered by nature and nurture - and getting less so as his life gets better. And the fact that he wasn't an alpha is part of why his father was so willing to sell him off.

Milena: Oooh, I'm not sure where to go here. Let's go with omega, because her parents do expect her to be a nice obedient pawn for them to move around and marry off as they please. And also it gives Lambert something else to be insecure about, the poor lad. (No, she does not want an alpha. She's very happy with him. Yes, even in her heats.)

Marika: Beta. Cool-headed and calm and rational, by stereotype and nature both. She's going to be a very good queen.

Griffin: Also a beta. Has never particularly wanted to be an alpha. Is genuinely glad that he doesn't have to deal with heat or rut; they seem deeply inconvenient.

Marta: She's an alpha, which explains why their parents were so willing to cut her so much slack and indulge her in so many things. I'm not sure how inheritance rules work in this variant of omegaverse, but she may even be heir to the duchy, right up until she kidnaps Jaskier and Eskel and Milena and experiences Consequences for possibly the first time ever.

Aiden: Alpha, because it makes his preference for bottoming even more scandalous to anyone outside the Witcher society. He's a cocky, charming, dangerous man and he knows it. He does have a bit of a temper but he's good at controlling it, and it blows over quickly.

Aleksander: Also alpha, because it makes him even more like his despised grandfather and he hates it. He doesn't want to be that sort of swaggering monster. Aiden's cheerful arrogance confuses him at first, the flirtation really baffles him, and eventually he's going to settle on Eskel as his role model, because that style of looking after His People makes sense to Sasha.

Livi: Omega - Duke Velen had strong preferences. Which probably means all the Mantikittens are omegas, too. Zia is going to surprise some people.

Dragonfly: Alpha, and has recently discovered her doting instincts.

Yennefer: Null, because she's a mage; their dynamics are removed during the ascension process. That said, I think she was an omega prior to that.

Triss: Also null, because she's a mage. Probably a beta before that.

and finally, Ciri: Oooh, this is the hardest one. But I think she's an alpha. And if she takes after her Papa in ferocity and her Uncle Eskel in protectiveness, she's going to be magnificent.

That's the best I've got - anyone else got thoughts?

[trans-axolotl]

that being said: something i've wanted to try to do for a long time is create a patient run database/review site that tries to map out the most harmful psych wards, create a list of places to avoid at all cost. because the reality is that many of us end up in situations where we have no other options because there aren't enough alternatives yet, because we get the cops called on us, because we get coerced in a million different ways and end up in a situation where quite possibly the only thing we might be able to influence is Which psych ward we go to.

and i think it's worth it to be able to point out and identify the absolute worst. it makes a difference if there's some psych wards that allow you to have an hour of cell phone time a day versus psych wards with no independent access to phone. or if there's a psych ward in your city that is more accepting of trans people versus one that puts all trans people in solitary. or a psych ward that we know has actually inclusive personal care supplies, including supplies for textured hair. or one that lets you keep your wheelchair or AAC device versus a psych ward with none of that.

until all of these places are fucking abolished i want us to be able to arm ourselves with as much knowledge and power as we can have, to enable us to mitigate as much harm as possible when we do end up back in a ward.

so. goals and plans for things i'd really like to do at some point.

[covid-safer-hotties]

"You Have to Live Your Life:" Responses to Common COVID Minimizing Phrases - Published Aug 6, 2024

If you're still COVIDing, you've likely heard phrases, like "it's mild now," or "you have to live your life," repeated over and over. You might be wondering, "what do I even say here? How do I respond to this?" I've listed some of the most common minimizing phrases and some potential responses to them. Feel free to adapt these and make them your own. I've included a variety of responses with different tones, depending on how much you want to be #saltingthevibes.

I want to recognize you might not always have the time or emotional energy to get into these discussions. Some people unfortunately aren't engaging in good faith, so it's important to be able to discern for yourself when you want to have these conversations. You don't always have to educate people, it can be exhausting! For those times when you want to respond but are at a loss for words in the moment, here are some ideas to get you started.

Starting off with one of my (least) favorites:

"You have to live your life!"

"I am living my life. Wearing a mask doesn't stop me from living my life, it makes it possible for me to do the things I love more safely."

"I'd love to be able to get out and do more things, but unfortunately that's not safe for me because so few people are masking."

"I would be a lot harder to live my life if COVID disabled me."

"Living my life means protecting my health, in the short and long term."

"I've adapted how I live my life based on the research about all of the long term health effects of a COVID infection."

"How long are you going to keep doing this for?"

"I'll probably always wear a mask in public spaces, when you know better you do better!"

"There's no expiration date on keeping myself safe and protecting my health."

"When we've widely implemented clean air standards and there's a sterilizing vaccine for COVID, then I might update my current precautions."

"I really wish I didn't have to do this either! But given what I know about COVID and Long COVID, this is the best choice for me."

"How long are you going to keep doing this for? It seems like you're sick all the time now, it sounds really unpleasant."

"We have to live with COVID."

"I'm glad you agree the government has done a terrible job trying to mitigate the spread!"

"To me, living with COVID means doing what we can to protect ourselves, not just giving up entirely."

"We also have to live with car accidents, that's why I wear my seatbelt to protect myself."

"What if we didn't have to? What if we collectively did more to clean the air and create safer living conditions for all of us?"

"Unfortunately you're right, that's why I'll continue to mask to keep myself and my community safer."

"It's mild now/it's just a cold/flu."

"Many illnesses seem like 'just a cold/flu' when you're first infected, but can still have long term health consequences, like mono or HIV."

"You can develop Long COVID even if your initial symptoms are mild or asymptomatic."

"I'm not as worried about the initial symptoms of the acute infection, I'm more concerned about the significant risk of Long COVID."

"You're lucky your symptoms weren't very severe initially. For me, COVID was a lot worse than a cold."

"I don't want to get sick with a cold either."

"I got it X times and I'm fine!"

"I'm sorry to hear you've had so many infections. COVID can cause silent damage throughout our bodies, it might be a good idea to go in for a check up with your doctor."

"I'm glad you're feeling fine so far, but my experience has been different."

"Your risk of Long COVID increases with each infection, so I'm doing what I can to avoid getting it."

"I hear that in your experience, a COVID infection hasn't been a big deal. Unfortunately not everyone is so lucky and many are dealing with significant Long COVID symptoms."

"You're young and healthy, you'll be fine/ only the vulnerable need to worry."

"I used to think the same thing! It turns out I have some underlying risk factors that mean an infection could be very harmful to me."

"Everyone is at risk of Long COVID, and your risk increases with each infection."

"You cannot know someone's health status by looking at them. A lot of young people are high risk as well."

"I don't appreciate you making assumptions about my health status."

"Did you know more than 75% of Americans have at least one risk factor? More than 40% have two or more, and almost 20% have three or more! Being high risk is more common than you think."

"There are actually a lot of factors that can make someone high risk, like a history of smoking, depression, asthma, ADHD, and more!"

"Kids don't get COVID/it's mild for kids."

"Unfortunately many studies show that rates of Long COVID in kids is similar to the rates in adults."

"COVID is the 8th leading cause of death in children in the US."

"Kids can be high risk for COVID, like if they have asthma, ADHD, autism, diabetes, or other common health issues."

"Kids don't deserve to be repeatedly infected with an illness that we know causes long term damage."

"I'd encourage you to read some of the stories about kids with Long COVID, it's heartbreaking for them and their families."

"Long COVID is rare."

"I'm curious where you learned that, because that doesn't fit into my understanding of Long COVID."

"Studies show rates around 20% of adults infected will go on to develop Long COVID, and many studies show higher rates. Your risk increases with each infection."

"Even if you're right, I'm not willing to risk it."

"Have you noticed an increase in weird symptoms or health issues in your circle? Fatigue, headaches, GI issues, stroke, heart attack, blood clots and a ton of other issues can all be caused by a COVID infection."

"It's more common than you might think, there are over 200+ possible symptoms and it can look different in everyone."

"My doctor doesn't wear a mask."

"Yikes! How unfortunate your doctor isn't up to date on the science and isn't doing more to protect their patients."

"It's too bad how many doctors don't stay up to date with important health information."

"Doctors also used to smoke cigarettes in healthcare facilities and recommend them to patients. Just goes to show you doctors aren't always right."

"The medical field scorned the doctor who recommended they start washing their hands... I'm seeing a lot of parallels here."

"Unfortunately it can take many years for practices like these to become more mainstream."

[maxwell-grant]

The Penguin: Episode 8 "Great or Little Thing" Series Finale Breakdown

So first and foremost I need to give a shout-out to everyone who's been following this with me and helped me week after week process and articulate this show, this brilliant Penguin Braintrust without which I would be incredibly lost on how to even begin breaking this thing down this way: @davidmann95, @wil4x, @book--wyrm and my friend Lucas who is not on Tumblr.

And so we're here at last, in the end of the show. This took forever. I need a goddamn break. This isn't enough and will never be enough but it'll have to do. So let's get to the episode that has had the world joining hands in the unanimous urge to see the absolute shit kicked out of Oswald, and has made the character at last earn this:

(Episode 1) (Episode 2) (Episode 3) (Episode 4) (Episode 5) (Episode 6) (Episode 7)

So who would have guessed that cartoon dirtbag Rex Calabrese was still gonna turn out to be less of a cartoon dirtbag than Oz the moment we stop seeing him through Oz's eyes. Still a terrible person by every metric, but terrible in the same way a lot of Sopranos characters are terrible: this is, at the end of the day, a job, and you can talk to them, you can sit at a table to get down to business with them, and you probably know people in your life like them, and maybe you can even count of them to get real and even help you when the chips are down, even if it doesn't mitigate everything else that they are or do. At the very end, he was neither the benevolent god-king that Oz saw him as, nor was he the absurd dirtbag gangster we had him pegged as - there was never anything exceptional about Rex Calabrese, he's just a real criminal. Maybe the realest in the show.

I said in the last post that Francis burned with hate at everyone in the world except the person who most ruined her life and haha WOW was I wrong, because it turns she's known the entire goddamn time, and quite possibly no one has ever hated him more than Francis.

Most people in the show who hate Oz do so because he's a destructive bastard who craps on their lives directly, or because he's a lying sneaky fuck who does nothing while their lives are ruined, and Francis has had to deal with both longer than anyone else. I can't possibly count every single way this wildly recontextualizes every single interaction, every moment, everything that Francis has shown us and done since the first episode, because I'd have to recap EVERY scene and line of dialogue she has and we still have so much else to get through.

Why was Francis was so effectively able to withhold affection and hold his feet to the fire and give him that bottomless pit of yearning in his stomach that's driven him to move mountains in pursuit of it? Because Francis wouldn't have loved him even if he gave her the entire world at age 12. She never had any affection or love left for him. Oz was always chasing nothing.

And all along it was Rex who shaped the entire course of Oswald's life, as well as prefiguring his dynamic with Victor, with a single conversation. Oswald spend his childhood wanting for Rex Calabrese to notice and like him and be his friend, and he has no idea how much Rex actually affected his life.

That fateful night at Monroe's was never the feel-good story about his Ma summoning the willpower to live by dancing away the grief, and it was never even just the night of the eternal promise that Oz thinks back to, it was a fucking trap to kill Oz. Nothing he has in his life is real, nothing he says is true, he has never not lived in complete total delusion.

The sheer disgust in Deirdre O'Connell's face at the "I do too". How much of her personality we completely understand was born from this absolute resentment she's nursed for decades towards Oz.

And this rotten little turd comes at her with a perfect speech that hits her every insecurity and bitterness and spite and situation and convinces her to give him another chance. The nature versus nurture thing again - Oswald was shaped by hardship, by decades of hard work and neglect, by the total absence of his mother's love while in turn being forced to live in stunted childhood dedicating himself to always taking care of her, and maybe what we're seeing here is heavily distorted by Francis's POV - or maybe he was always a little monster, because this guy talking to her is The Penguin, the same guy doing the same things in the same way, either way it doesn't matter. Again, born fucking ready.

So now we see our three major supporting characters - Sofia, Victor and Francis - all of them have shown that they had a chance to walk away from Oz, to not let him ruin their lives further. All of them could have left Oswald behind, and all of them should have left Oswald behind, but they had to come back and justify the choice to do so, they had to get satisfaction, it couldn't have been for nothing. Victor had his car and a girlfriend in a bus waiting for him, Sofia had a jet to take her to Italy, and Francis had Rex Calabrese ready and waiting to put him down without a word. All of them had a chance to get out of the show and never look back, but like Oz, they had to rectify and overcorrect for an insult.

Sofia can't walk away from Gotham without punishing Oz for turning her in, for killing Alberto and further lying to her, she can't accept that this man, this embodiment of Carmine's legacy and hold over her, is still out there unpunished getting away with what he's done. Victor can't walk away from Gotham knowing that his parents did everything right and still died for nothing, that every hurtful thing Oz said was right, he can't let "They don't give out awards for dying in the projects" be the last word in his and their lives. And Francis can't walk away from Oz, who killed her two sons and keeps lying about it, who ruined her life and now keeps promising he will take care of her and acting like everything will be fine, she can't let this pass even if she can't kill him either, and so she'll make him give her the world and die trying.

The tragedy of what happened is what hurt/broke them - the added insult of what Oz said or did is what they just can't live with. It can't be for nothing.

Goddamnit it, it was really just too telegraphed for it to not happen the way it did.

I fucking knew it the moment the episode started and we got the grungy boss orchestral take on the funny Penguin chords that we were in for some calamitous shit.

We see at first that, in spite of seemingly failing, Vic has graduated to the point he can give his own speeches, gain his own allies, run his own cons - he's not just Oz's proxy, but will manage to convince the others to become such as well, and he's coming at this from a place of complete sincere belief in everything that Oz says, all of the man of the people rhetoric he will so thoroughly pervert and then sell to the people actually responsible for everything he told Victor he was fighting against.

Zeke walks up to him nearly crying about how Sofia blew it all up and Vic instantly asks back where's Oz - not because he doesn't care about Crown Point, but he's already processed it and has already learned with Oz how to just barrel forward regardless, now it's time to get to work. Victor who so readily throws himself into rescuing Oz again and again. Victor who's lost everything - he doesn't have his family, he doesn't have Graciela, he doesn't have the other mobs backing him up, and right now he doesn't even have Crown Point anymore, all he has is Oz.

The man in red who reads the Law Gave him three weeks of life, Three little weeks in which to heal His soul of his soul's strife, And cleanse from every blot of blood The hand that held the knife - The Ballad of Reading Gaol

Sofia dressed in two thematically appropriate outfits - the red scarf echoing both the first outfit we see her in, back to covering her neck but in control of her own collar, and the outfit we see her the farthest back in time with at the start of Episode 4, and with her final crimson fur coat outfit accompanying her final greatest triumph and ultimate defeat in the show. Not only that, but in this episode she also gets to perform characteristically appropriate stylized torture - holding a family intervention and therapy session with mafioso torture tactics to try and wrench the truth out of her victimizer, enacting calculated sadistic yet righteous justice via psychological breakdown, and ultimately allowing the woman he victimized and wronged to take her killshot at him.

See, it's not just that Sofia Gigante is a Batman Villain, or that she's well passed the threshold of supervillain. Cristin Milioti doesn't play Sofia like she's a new character, which she basically is, and she isn't just playing a tortured gangster lady protagonist dipping into camp villain territory, which she also is - she plays Sofia Gigante like she's been a Batman Rogues headliner for decades now stepping into the spotlight once again, like she's the dark modern revamp of someone Adam West would have thought and she's just always been around showing up in stuff along with The Penguin, like she's only not fighting or teaming up with Two-Face in this because he's not here yet. It is crucially important that Sofia passes every standard of Batman Villain imaginable with flying colors, in part because it helps to reinforce that The Penguin is a monster all his own.

Even here, with as much power as she's ever possibly held over him, reduced him to a whimpering begging mess to be killed off in a second, she is so shocked at the sheer brazen selfishness and delusion and level of bullshit on display, that even now he won't break character and think about his actions and admit to what he's done not even to save his own mother from mutilation, that she just loses the script entirely. Her entire show of power collapses and she physically recoils from sheer disgust at just how low Oswald is, at just how much he lacks the ability to even suffer for what he's done. Realizing that there is simply not enough of a soul in this filthy beast to even torture, and that however much she hates Oswald for ruining her life, someone had a prior claim all along.

Eve - Sofia - Francis in the end united in, however much they may dislike each other, however different their circumstances may be, there is nothing they could possibly do to each other that would be worse than what Oswald has done to all of them, joined in silent agreement that their rage ultimately belongs in a bullet fired at Oz's head and that they deserve their kill shot at this man.

"I had enough to give, Oswald".

This really is gonna be the high point of Francis's life from this point on.

Aw man, I liked Sofia's scruffy dirtbag detective, I wanted him to stick around as one of the reocurring characters like the movie cops

Oh Victor, sweet kind Victor, you couldn't possibly ask for anything worse in the entire world.

Oz feebly already beginning to lie and spin his new version of the events, that Sofia stabbed him and fucked up with Ma, and here comes Victor with the reversal of their dynamic, seeing this guy who's been brought low by the oppressive force looming over his life that he must defeat (because all that Victor knows about Sofia at this point is that she used to be Oz's boss and is now out to kill them, that she is scary as hell, and regardless of whether or not she was the Hangman, she just bombed his fucking neighborhood) and reaching out to him with a speech about solidarity and dignity and self-worth and picking yourself up by your fucking bootstraps to save the day. And Oz responds by coaching him on how to be a better bullshitter. Because to Oz, he knows the playbook by heart, but Victor meant it all.

Victor rebuilds Oz from basically nothing by providing him with the validation that he so desperately always craved and never got, saying all the things he always wanted to hear, poised so they can finish this together, poised to give him not only the army he asked for, but a full-blown revolution, and he never once asks for anything in return. Just, goddamnit this isn't hurting any less.

"She, sh-she'll never look at me again, all right?....unless I get this done. Got a promise to keep." Maybe the one and only time his mask ever fully cracks. For a second. He rebuilds it right back up and gets to work, but it cracked. He knows what he's doing, up until the moment he doesn't. It's that simple.

A lot of what drives Oz is acceptance, and a lot of what drives him is his desire to be accepted in worlds that have been declared, by how they run themselves and by the people that inhabit these worlds, as worlds that he was never going to be included in. And one of those worlds is the hierarchy and the hoi polloi of the political realm and the power within the political realm because he understands that all politics are corrupt essentially, and the damage that he could do then in being part of a political infrastructure of Gotham interests him. I thought it would be nice if, in that time jump, he had been invited to maybe a gala or two, you know what I mean? It'd be awkward. He'd be slurping out of the fucking teacup, there'd be stains on the table, he wouldn't really fit in, but he’d fucking love being there. - Colin Farrell

Mirroring the scene in Episode 01 where he adjusts himself next to the car, scuffing himself up to look like the sleazy funnyman the Falcones keep around for kicks, now he's dressing up as much as he can and asking Victor for input, because he truly values what the kid thinks and, goddamnit.

"C'mahn, I don't bite", pfft yeah, not in this movie universe anyway. And to the same guy you did the nose-gushing-blood bit to, even.

Minutes inside of City Hall and he already parks his ass right on Bella Real's seat - not as any kind of intentional slight against her, it's just naturally where he goes to, even before the scene ends and we see his new plans start to come to fruition.

Guy who takes offense at Viti calling Sofia a psycho and then goes up to Councilman Hady talking about the unhinged loony bin broad who went "full psycho" that he's handing to him on a platter, pointedly calling her Falcone.

At first I thought it was funny that Sal Maroni was getting blamed here for Bliss and the underground lab, but then I remembered that he was actually the one who introduced Drops to Gotham and the whole epidemic that became, so if anything it is an extremely easy part of the story to sell, even without his body being down there and all.

"You're gonna have some trouble, Oz" - pointedly smiling and calling him Oz instead of Oswald as he had up to this point, because by that point he's already a crony and already willing to work with this guy handing him all these miracles.

"You wanna be welcome? You gotta look, clean" Yes Father Pal, I Shall Become A Capitalist Caricature

You can see in the walk around, in his look at Bella Real and the mayor's office high up above and the steps, how little Ozzie's gears turn once again and rebuild his life after losing the streets and everything that happened with Ma - This is the next nest, this is the next throne, this is next schmuck I gotta cozy up to, this is the next boss looking down on me that I gotta destroy, there's the reward waiting for me if I do. This is the one that matters, I did everything in the shit and now I'm gonna get me sum goddamn respeck, Feh Ma of course.

And before all of this we see Sofia's next move, showing the ways in which she is good at this, the ways in which she truly is something outside of the worldview of what these gangsters are used to, and why she is going to lose. "Because I can". She is good at commanding a room and promising rewards beyond the wildest dreams of these street crimelords because she can offer everything they want and lose nothing she cares about for it, she will hand them everything and dip because she can, and she is going to lose because she can lose. Because she still thinks there is an end in sight for her, she thinks she will get to walk away from this universe and go meet a happy ending at a cafe in Florence.

It's not just that Sofia was born into privilege and never really lived in Gotham and could just hop onto a plane out of here anytime, it's also that she has room in her life for introspection, self-awareness, consideration towards others, and all those things that come easier when you're "born full", and not when you're the starving hustler for whom leaving the city was never an option even if he had all the money in the world, the hungry animal who wants this, wants everything, harder than anyone has ever wanted anything. The guy who has no room for anything else in his brain other than a perpetual bullshit generator set to a 24/7 chorus of "I GOTTA WIIIIIIN"

Another element to her that I really love is, she's good at this. She knows she's good at this, she was supposed to take over the family. She may not know the ins and outs of the game as it currently stands, but she is good at this. Some of it is, I think that's the only world she knows, and some of it is there's something in there, that's always been there, and she believes it is rightfully hers. There's an element of, "I need to have made it worth it for something", and if that means power, then okay. - Cristin Milioti

There’s a level for both of them that they enjoy each other’s suffering, and that sort of leads to Sofia’s downfall. If she didn’t need to see Oz suffer she might have been free. And she really gets in her own way in that regard and largely because Oz is this crutch that she just cannot let go of. - Lauren LeFranc

And here we get to the end of season 1 of HBO's The Sofia Show, the bittersweet in hindsight but extremely cathartic torching of the set as a last hard-earned spiritual victory by our hard-done-by lady protagonist. All of her family is dead, the city is out for her blood, she gathered all the remaining criminals for One Last Job with everything on the line, and she is having a very fun time with her montage destroying her home and family name beyond recovery. She is going to finish her character arc, get to finally kill her former comedy sidekick turned mortal nemesis, and hop on a plane to The White Lotus resort straight away into greener (if only marginally less fucked up) genre territory away from this ugly nightmare city. Alas, this is not The Sofia Show, and it's time for her theme suite to catch up to her once again and tell us of how very badly this is all going to go for her.

And she can't even be that shocked, when the high of burning it all down goes away, when she sees that old Ozzie Cobb wriggled his way out of this jam regardless and is now coming at her with a speech, she can't even react to it. Deep down she knows how the rest of the night is going to go. She may not have expected Arkham outright, but she was braced for a loathsome fate.

It rules so much they give him a big fat fight the power speech with a bloody revolution montage, and we can only sit there aghast with Sofia at the sheer audacity of him to act like this, like a man of the people, thinking he truly has the right to be talking like this and to her of all people.

And now we see how Oz won the gang war, and the next domino to fall on the downfall of Gotham City, and the first effect of his own rise to power: like The Riddler, he has toppled the order of things and he has turned people into extensions of himself, Victor being the first and the one who gave him this revolution, of all the little mini Penguins out there devouring the social structure of Gotham crime forever. You kill the boss, you become the boss now. Everyone can bleed and everyone can be killed and everyone must be killed in the quest to the top, no handrails or codes, they wouldn't invite him and so he crashed. After he unified the criminal underdogs, Victor rallied the underdogs beneath the underdogs, and now the streets are a jungle where there will never be an end to the wars over who gets to be atop the food chain, because they are all fighting to see who gets to be the next Penguin.

For decades people have written Oswald Cobblepot as a creep and a sleaze and an incel who hurts/kills women for rejecting him, or who is chronically insecure about them and I can very confidently say nobody ever did anything half as horrible and half as truthful and half as meaningful as LeFranc did here. We see the other reason why it was so imperative to her that Oswald not be a misogynist, and it has nothing to do with just making him more likeable or sympathetic or honorable. We get in this episode the pay off to the thoughtline: okay, he's actually a gangster who respects women, he does not act like every other prestige drama gangster who ever lived, we are going to center women in this show and he will treat them with respect - now let's watch how he HORRIBLY screws them over in the name of this respectful gentleman persona he lives by, let's watch how he betrays them in the ways that matter most, how he even makes them wish they were dead without personally ever lifting a finger to harm them, let's do some grown-up feminist commentary in Batman for a change and highlight the ways in which men profit from belittling and oppressing and destroying women even when they're pointedly not misogynistic and even self-professed genuine allies to them.

And so it is that the only Falcone mobster who isn't misogynistic towards Sofia is the one who screws her the most horribly. He will murder every man he comes across, he will murder every man he could have been and every man who is even marginally better than him in any way, he will push all of his brothers out of the nest and not tolerate any other big shot in town bigger than him and not even the only man, the only person, in town who loves him will be spared. But he is a gentleman, so he leaves the women alive (well, except for Nadia Maroni, but she was a rival big shot and worse, his boss for a day or two, so she obviously had to go eventually).

I thought about his greatest fear, and it made a lot of sense to me that his greatest fear would be that love is transactional. That if he does not achieve a level of power and give Francis certain types of things that he’s promised her she might not love him. And that informs every relationship he has on the show It was always important to me, and this was always part of my initial pitch, that if Oz was to achieve a level of power—and that is something that was not up for discussion, that was my job that I was tasked with for the season—that he has to lose something emotionally. It can’t come without a cost. - Lauren LeFranc

"the crooked politics that have allowed wealthy elites like Sofia Falcone to wreak havoc". Oz has weaponized the status quo against her so throughly that she is going away under the exact same image that she did it the first time, as a privileged serial killer and Falcone. She doesn't even get to have her new name anymore, and the rest of Gotham does not see her as the new and strange and horrific new threat that she embodied in Oz's life - she is going away as just another upper-class monster like her dad.

The triumph that Oswald has fought his entire life for, the Big One that he's scraped and fought and hoped his entire life would happen and he'd get to show his Ma at the end, the thing that he's going to throw a party for at this moment, is just a politician on tv saying things that Oswald claims he told him to say.

All of our 3 major supporting characters will thus reach the high point of their lives, on the moment before it is ripped away and they are destroyed forever. Francis gets to finally spit all of her hatred back to Oz and take her revenge on him, and her babies appear before her alive and unharmed. Sofia gets to burn down her father and his legacy once and for all, and is on her way to kill her nemesis and finally be free of it all. Victor succeeds in helping Oz win, they have revolutionized the gangs and defeated the big bad Falcone and he's done right by his new family what he couldn't do with his old one.

And of course, Oswald finally wins - he is the last man standing, he's defeated his greatest enemy, he is the big shot of Gotham and his victory is, so he claims, right there on the tv for his Ma to see, he can finally get what he's always wanted now - and then he doesn't, and then his soul crumbles, before he finishes the job by murdering his heart.

Oz didn’t need to do that, like it wasn’t actually necessary. In that moment, Victor did not betray him. He did nothing wrong. In fact, the thing that he did “wrong” in Oz’s eyes is that he loves him and that he cares about him and Oz actually cares about Victor. I think by the end Oz sees that as a really big problem because he loves his mother so deeply and Sofia took advantage of that love, and then it became sort of a weakness in his eyes. Victor saw him at his most vulnerable and for Oz to achieve the power that he thinks he needs, he can’t have that level of humanity. He can’t have that heart with him anymore. So he stifles his own heart. He kills it. - Lauren LeFranc

When he said to Vic in the sewer, “They'll tell stories about us one day, kid,” he meant it. At that stage, he actually saw that he could rise and Vic could come with him. It's only when the vulnerability and the shock of his mother being taken from him, and the place of vulnerability and danger that puts him in, that he realizes there's no more love, there's no more affection, there's no one else I'm going to have in my life that can lead me to such vulnerability as my mother has led me to or as this kid could potentially lead me to. - Colin Farrell

He's not relishing being horrible. When he realizes, "Oh God, Victor makes me vulnerable. I can't have that shit anymore." The way that Lauren wrote it, and the way Colin played, there's such sadness under the horror. You're like, oh my God, how fucked up do you have to be that the one person who you feel you have any connection with now, you have to snuff out because it makes you weak. What happened to you? - Matt Reeves

"You think she forgives me?" Once again, the mask cracks. Only around Victor. Only because of Victor. And he can't have that again.

And thus we get to the final parallel between our 3 side characters - that in the end, all they did was serve Oz's own rise to power, and hand him the world in exchange for their lives. All they were to him were additional steps in the ladder that began with his brothers. Francis gave him his life, his drive, his motivation and eternal justification, the insatiable pit in his gut driving him to do this forever. Sofia got him his promotion to Falcone lackey, and then she got him another promotion by handing him the tools with which he could become an underground boss and rally them, and then she got him another promotion by handing him the keys to his political career on a silver platter. And Victor saved his life, more than once. He helped him, provided the justification he has craved for a lifetime, rebuilt him, gave him his revolution, gave him the streets, and showed him the last thing he needed to kill to make it to the top.

Wow man let me tell my good friend, The Family Butcherer, who butchers every family he gets his hands on whether a crime family or a literal one, how much I think of him as family.

"They don't give out awards for dying in the projects"

Just like with Squid, Vic's emotional intelligence dooms him. He sees this man whom is like family to him brought to his lowest point, crushed beyond measure, in what he assumes was just a phenomenally terrible stroke of fate and not something he had any blame whatsoever for, and reaches out to pat him in the back, emotionally reassure him that it wasn't all for nothing, that his family would surely be proud of him, and that there's things to look forward to.

Vic threw away his chance to walk away into the sunset with Graciela and he just had to come back to save Oz (AND Sofia, the one who'd bomb his neighborhood) from the Maronis, the least of all possible evils in his life and his city and who never even noticed him. Victor only narrowly missed out in 2 situations that Oz would have absolutely left him to die in, so there just had to be a third where he'd die in the absolute worst way possible. Not with Sofia's gunshot to the head, not bombed to rubble along with his neighborhood, no, Mr. Carmine 2 had to make it as painful and intimate as possible.

Vic the only Number Two in town who couldn't kill his boss and in fact never even considered doing so, and so he dies - there is just no room for him anymore, not in Oz's life, nor in the new Gotham that the two built together.

LEFRANC: "You see Oz become this next level monster, I remember the take too. Jennifer and I look at each other, Colin transforms his face in this really remarkable way, that I don't think any of us fully anticipated could be achieved in that way." - The Penguin Podcast Episode 8

I knew that the general sentiment was that, by the end, they kind of wanted to, in a way, kill the Oz that we met in the film. I felt that there was a sense of creative responsibility that leaned towards, “We cannot have this man as a likable character,” which is hard I think they wanted that in the earth by the end of the eight hours. They wanted that RIP. That's gone. I hated that scene. I really did. I was fucking so pissed off. It felt in performing it as — guess what? — you would like it to feel in viewing it. It felt gross, it felt cruel, it felt absolutely insane, and it felt like Oz was reaching a point of no return. - Colin Farrell

So the day after I watched this episode, my friend Lucas messaged me in the afternoon sending me audio messages, "Son of a bitch! Son of a bitch! He stole his identity, he didn't even die with his fucking name! They'll never find him! Fuck, goddamnit!" "ELE MORREU COMO INDIGENTE, PORRA" and, yeah. Yeah. That gets to the heart of it.

If Vic was just a guy taking his money, if Vic was purely transactional, if he was just another Link, he'd have made it. Oz wouldn't have given a shit about him, Oz would have died on the sidewalk when the Maronis hit at minimum. All this piece of shit wants is love, and when he gets it, when it's finally non-transactional, from the ONLY person in the entire show who loved him, he has to kill it, he doesn't know how to deal with it, he has to smother his heart.

He has to become Carmine Falcone 2, strangling the poor and vulnerable of Gotham while pinning all of his crimes on Sofia.

Vic just wanted his family back, man. He just wanted a family again, to at least show his family that they didn't die for nothing. The thing that Oz spits in his face as he dies. It wasn't for nothin.

This show has so many dozen little variations of Penguin getting his heart broken and retaliating cruelly, but this one hurts the most partially because it has no basis whatsoever on any pre-existing insult or cruelty, there was nothing that warranted this, and you still get why Oz felt that he had to do it. The lowest, weakest moment of his life, and he can never permit anything like it ever again.

Victor was his heart, and The Penguin remembered that his heart only exists to be broken.

Victor punctures the illusion, and he cannot have that. Everything about The Penguin hinges on that singular fact of his life: he cannot and will not break character. He cannot break character, otherwise he dies, otherwise Gotham City will eat him alive, otherwise he has done it all for nothing. That is the ultimate threat Sofia posed to him, and why his ultimate victory comes only from creating a perfect delusion and spinning everything that happened in service of it. Because all those things said at Monroe's? They weren't true - his Ma, y'know, it was just her disease acting up, that psycho did something to her, she wasn't thinkin straight, and it was really Sofia that stabbed him and did all that fucked up shit, and his Ma is really happy that she got the penthouse in the end and that he didn't put her down, look, she's crying tears of joy even, I gotta keep doing everything for her.

Everything and everyone in his life, he can spin in service of the delusion, they can all play dress-up with him forever, except Victor. Victor may not have the slightest clue as to what Oz actually did, but he's seen too much, he knows he has vulnerabilities, he knows the thing that Oz needs to bury far, far more than all the horrible things he's done. Killing Victor is maybe the one thing that he absolutely cannot in the slightest spin a decent delusion out of, that he did it for him or did it for noble reasons or anything other than out of disgusting self-serving weakness.

But who's Victor? Some kid who died in the projects and didn't even have a name? Someone with nobody left to mourn him, not even a street to get back to, nothing but a guy who's already forgot him?

That Victor Aguilar? Never heard of him

“I will never think my mother doesn't love me. She was having a bad day when she stuck that bottle in me. She was under a lot of pressure. She nearly lost her finger. She stuck a bottle in my belly. It was a bad day. She didn't get a good night's sleep the night before.” It's that kind of thing. He'll make up fucking whatever. He's already lying when he goes, and he's stitching up his belly, and Vic says, “What happened?” And he says, “Sofia, she stuck me with a bottle.” He's already beginning to bury the truth. - Colin Farrell

He needed your love, and then you didn't give it to him, and you didn't obey, and you didn't do those things that he needed, and then you mentally aren't there for him in the way that he needs, but he's got to physically keep you around because he's too weak to not do that. He can't give you the gift that he promised you in Episode Six, he's too weak of a man to do that. And so he needs to hold onto you, but under his terms. - Lauren LeFranc

There's a thing that happened on that last day that made my blood run cold, which was I felt Oz not love me anymore. I felt his coldness, and I think that Francis felt it too, and she always had so much of his attention and so much of his love. I don't even think she realized how much she had until he withdrew it. And when he withdrew it, it was utter and… slightly terrified. I was just lying in that bed, I just felt the love leave the room. It's a real thing, and it's gone, yeah, and I think Francis feels it, too. - Deirdre O'Connell

He's this man who is clawing his way to the top, and I knew he wanted power, but what what does that mean for him? That's where I started to conceive of like, he wants his mother's love, and he wants people's affection. He wants to be revered. That was like the main thrust for me of what defines power for Oz, and then by the end you realize that, when he doesn't get those things, he doesn't get his mother's acceptance, he still gets it. He makes sure he gets it. - Lauren LeFranc

So bowled over and miserable I was that I didn't even notice until later that he was wearing a version of the classic Bronze Age/Triumphant get-up.

If the pattern of his life is unjustifiably cruel retribution for slights and insults, perceived or not, by the end Francis had done it to him as well. That she never loved him and in fact always hated him more than anything and anyone else is the biggest insult of all, and so he punishes her the most cruelly, knowingly or not.

"You are who you are, and you couldn't change if you tried."

He will never stop telling Rex Calabrese stories, he will never stop bringing up his brothers and mom as a sympathy ploy, and even if he will never truly love her again, he will never stop ruining the world in her name, he will never stop, he will never stop, he will never stop.

You had to sit through 8 hours chipping away at all of his fun and charm and wacko comedy antics and motivations and all the scruples and principles that he turns out to have less and less of, until he butchers them all in the very end along with the heart of the show. Penguin burning through all of his lovable quirks and charm, everything that we loved about him in the movie, until he comes through as a black-hearted bastard of unlimited malice who will never stop growing and getting worse and putting more lives in danger. Not only as much of a lowlife backstabber as we initially assumed him to be in the movie, but far worse than what we could have imagined.

I said as much that the first episode marks the transition from The Batman to The Penguin with the titlecard, and this brings it back around. The show dies with Victor, we get Sofia's post-credits Nick Fury Tease with Selina's letter and with Selina's theme playing and a final grace note of hope for Sofia, and thus the only character in the show to end with anything resembling positive, and then we get the first scene of The Batman Part 2. showing us the horrible thing in this world that Batman will have to defeat for us.

RIP Bella Real, we all know this asshole is gonna become mayor, and he's not waiting for the next election.

Credit to @book--wyrm for pointing out one more horrible fucking thing, that at the final dance, his hands are covered in scratches, much like the hands of Carmine Falcone when he comforted Sofia.

“One of the very early things that Lauren pitched was that ending with Eve where she looks like Francis,” said Reeves. “He can’t get what he needed from his mother because she’s no longer in that state because of the dark events and what he’s done, so he recreates it in this other way with Eve, and it’s very disturbing,” said Reeves. “That was something we thought was a great idea and was so emblematic of this guy’s internal state. It’s like, even as he now seems to have gotten that first major step toward being the kingpin, you know that some part of him will never be filled. - Matt Reeves

When I read that, I was like, “Oh my god, we're going full Bates Motel here.” But again, it speaks to what has become a pathological inability to accept the world that he has played such a heavy hand in creating. As far as he's concerned, he's just doing what he needs to do to live the life of a good son. And look, his mother can't talk anymore, so he needs a surrogate. I mean, it would be kept out of the sexual realm — it wasn't about that. It was about the intimacy and the tenderness and the pride that Oz always so deeply needed to feel his mother had for him, and pride in him, that he never really got from her. The one time when he finally can say to her, can go to her bedside and say, “It's done. Everything you said that I was capable of, everything you said that I should aspire to, it's done. I am now the boss. I took it from everyone else.” And he gets nothing back. His mother's already gone. That's just too horrific for him, so he needs a surrogate. He would say to Eve, “Look, I'm grieving. I'm finding it hard to deal with the fact that my mother's alive, but she's not here. She's gone, but she's fully present at the same time, physically, but she's nowhere there. She doesn't recognize me. I don't recognize the woman she's become. Do me a favor. We used to dance together and talk at the end of the night. Would you put on her dress and just let me pretend?” But it was twisted. It was twisted, but I dug it. He needs it from his mom so much. And again, his imagination is so potent that he just cast her as that figure, that most prominent and most powerful figurehead in his life, which has always been his mother. She's got to stay alive. He's got to hear that he did well from her. He's got to hear that she's proud. Look, by the end, he's bananas, as they say in the film. Good cop, batshit cop. At the end, he's batshit. - Colin Farrell

Remember when this show had fun Dolly Parton end credits, remember when this almost looked like it was gonna be fun and light-hearted compared to the movie and The Riddler: Year One

So turns out all along they actually had something real twisted planned with the name Karlo, and the Clayface concept that evokes. Asking his prostitute girlfriend to shapeshift into his crying comatose mom in the room upstairs so he can finally get the dance with her atop the world that he craved his entire life and have her tell him how proud she is that he ruined everything forever.

It is not a good ending, but it is his happy ending. He achieved everything he wanted in the smallest possible amount and at the highest cost imaginable, and thus he burns more than ever to take more and more in the name of a satisfaction he will never, ever have. He ended his arch-nemesis, and he didn't have to kill her, that's not what a gentleman does. He got the streets, and he's poised to take political power, and there is nobody left to care about, nobody except the only person who's ever mattered. He can still keep taking care of Ma as a justification for all the shit he will do now and forever, but he doesn't actually have to take care of her anymore, he doesn't even have to love her or grovel her for validation anymore: He has a Ma who will tell him everything he wants to hear, forever.

Of course, he may not have his three dance partners anymore - his Ma is in a vegetative state, Sofia has been locked away once again, and that kid, what was his name again, ain't around. But then, he will simply move on to new ones: He didn't actually lose his first dance partner, his Ma is fine, look at her telling him how proud she is of him and everything he's done and how unstoppable he is now. And he has a new partner in City Hall who is all too eager to play along to everything he says and does, who will receive and spit back his rhetoric just as Vic did to the streets of Gotham. And if he's defeated his nemesis and dance partner, well, not for long. There's a new one waiting for him. He never wins without losing. He will never again live without his next dance partner there to hound and foil him at every turn. There will always be something in the way.

It was exciting to me, the idea that we’re going to meet Oz as a mobster, and to play him as just a man. There’s nothing fantastical about him. There’s so many people like Oz in our world who hold a lot of power, who also connect with people because they speak, on some level, the truth. They can be charming and engaging, but also really terrifying and calculated, and not necessarily doing what they say that they will do or caring for people in the way that they say that they will. It felt so timely and so important to really engage with a guy like Oz and not turn away from him, but actually turn towards him so we can start to unpack, in our own society, what makes a man like Oz so appealing, and what makes him equally appalling. - Lauren LeFranc

I think Oz has always been someone who believes that everything he’s saying in the moment is true, and he creates worlds and illusions for himself to merit his actions. He does it sometimes very briefly in impulsive moments, and then sometimes more methodically, and in the end the fact that he didn’t get from his mother what he’s always desired isn’t good enough for him. So he has to create this strange fantasy live in this delusion of his own making, and pay Eve to dress as his mother and force her to tell him he she’s proud of him. So mentally, emotionally, Oz is embracing his own delusion. I think, for the audience, I hope they more deeply understand him psychologically and realize that there is a deeply broken man inside. He is violent and problematic and and very emotional. And that’s really the man that will carry into the next film. - Lauren LeFranc

And it has to end in a total reversal of the movie ending - The Batman ends with showing there is a light in the darkness, that this tortured broken man can fix his mistakes and lead us into something better. The Penguin ends by grabbing your face and desperately yelling at you SOMEBODY FUCKING SAVE US, HE WILL ONLY GET WORSE. The Batman ends with telling us Batman can save us all, and The Penguin ends with telling us Penguin will kill every last one of us in real life if he hasn't already, if nobody stops him.

And so I'll leave these last partings words to the Penguin Braintrust as we close off this series - see you all in therapy and in theaters when The Batman: Part 2 drives us all completely insane once more.

@wil4x

I don't think this Penguin is someone Batman can tolerate, I don't think Bruce can ever save Gotham's soul with a force of corruption as big as Penguin taking root in the seats of power. No amount of informant work can justify letting a monster like Penguin stay "King of Gotham". I think there's an argument to be made that Oz is a bigger threat to Batman's overall long-term mission than guys like Joker or Riddler. Those are huge immediate threats, but Penguin does a lot more long-term damage to the very soul of Gotham and its people. As long as The Penguin is on top, there's no hope, Gotham will never not be the most corrupt and nightmarish place on earth with him in charge

@book--wyrm

He will truly climb anything no loss so great it can't be flipped into an asseet A nuke Francis armed out of pain and grief and desperation and despair And poor vic Only wanting to do good And instead he saves gotham’s own typhoid mary of misery

@davidmann95

so the thing is Oz kills hope for Gotham forever in this

he's replacing the mayor who stands for hope at the end of The Batman with a corrupt comics rando built on a lie so he can install himself as the power behind the power forever Batman can't be alluded to in the slightest until the very end because it can't be until there's no lingering 'aw, I don't want my boy to get Batman'ed' it can't be until we understand truly and completely why this man proves the necessity of someone out there to stop him

The other stabs at this with Oswald, from what I’ve seen, are trying to make him low-down and dirty and vile enough to be a ‘proper’ Batman villain. But this already made him low-down and dirty and vile. And made us love him for it. This isn’t about ‘fixing him’, this is about taking him all the way to the top He’d accept no less

This is about making him operatically nightmarish enough to be a guy Batman is going to fight forever

Lucas

VENGEANCE, GET OUT RIGHT FUCKING NOW.

[glitter-stained]

Sense the current state of jason as character is stagnant do you think dc will ever purplish a good story of him, maybe he even kills of his red hood persona and goes on to be something else that would be something I would like to see but I don’t think it will happen. Dc will forever shoehorn him in to the batfamily. At least in his anti-villian era he was actually fun now his character is in a pitiful state

do u think theirs a chance of reinvent him as character anytime soon ?

Well first of all through spite everything is possible, so jot that down.

Like seriously, remember when it was so so incredibly over like Spiderman's Uncle Ben levels of over and then Under the Hood happened? Hell yeah I think dc will publish a good Jason story

Second I may not be the best person for this ask because I like my blorbos pitiful and miserable. Like yeah defiance is awesome but exhaustion -in characters who have been angry and alone for so long, beaten dog who got electrocuted too often to bite back- has a special place in my heart. But I also agree this has to be a transitional part of a story, the arc can't be "well he was hurt and then he was angry and then he was tired and he was miserable the whole time". Unless of course he ends up perma-dying in a really meaningful arc centered around his character but I'm not sure that'd be what I want for him, and we all know how lame dc is with permadeath nowadays. I'm also very mitigated with his villain side because yeah sometimes it's very fun and cathartic to see the angry/bad victim trope, but also the classismXpsychophobia of villain Red Hood sometimes are just too much; and also I'm a jaybin fan and sometimes I feel betrayed on jaybin's behalf by elements of his villainous characterization. (One day I'll write that damned UTH rewrite, I will).

With that being said!!! I love Jason because of his potential, he has so so much of it, that's what's exhausting about his many bad comics is that yeah. Yeah, dc can absolutely publish something more than good. They don't understand the goldmine they're sitting on in terms of potential.

What I'd love to see explored in hypothetical upcoming good comics (i'll talk more about it later with malfiora but for now)/how dc could go about reinventing his character :

1) addressing Jason's suicidality and getting him a functional support system (seriously, something's gotta give)

2) Get that boy a dog. Ik he had one at some point in N52 idc give him more dogs. Big ass rescue dog that's loyal and similar to him.

2) we need to figure out a way to let Jason keep being a Crime Alley/Park Row vigilant without being dependent on Batman. Like yeah he should explore the world away from him and heal but also i'm very uncomfortable with the idea that healing, for Jason, has to mean leaving the city and neighbourhood he grew up in and protected, has to mean be shoved out of his home by a guy who doesn't live there and, at least when Jason was a kid, only visited the place one time a year because of the anniversary of his parents' death- it's not fair and I won't accept it.

3) I so so agree about the "killing the red hood persona" or at the very least changing his vigilant name. Like I get the point, I understand the use he had for him, but his story can't be centered around the Joker forever (I keep thinking about the Joker's attitude to him in The Man who stopped Laughing and god, I can see a driving force to find himself as something else than what Batman and the Joker made him). At some point his name has to become something that is his and turned towards the future.

4) art + story that acknowledges how young he is (someone please let Jason take college class please please he deserves it)

5) perhaps most importantly: batman writers often sound like hardcore deontology or hardcore utilitarianism (and the occasional egoism) are the only acceptable moral philosophies. And for characters, it works! Like I can see Batman as a Kantian, sure. But for others, it doesn't fit as well.*

The cool thing about Jason's character right now is that he's a utilitarian, but a utilitarian that often isn't guided by his values. He can and will compromise on his philosophy in the name of love and being loved ( @bestangelofall called that a morality leash) and that already sets him as an interesting character in his own right. But in terms of redefining himself as a person after decades of defining himself through his pain (which, at 20-23 years old, he should get to do) I'd love to see an evolution of his morals based on love. Specifically, I'd love from his morals to shift from mathematical utilitarianism to agape, an ancient greek concept of platonic love for everything human, a movement towards the other that can be thought of as close to some conceptualisations of empathy. Mind you, that doesn't mean that he would stop killing! I can believe in a Jason who kills because or against of agape, the pain or relief that could be so good to explore in relation to that, how he would go on to define himself as a person... I feel like Jason has a certain tendency to kinda dehumanize the worst criminals as he kills them (a lesson from Judy, love her sm) which I love, but would also love to see him grow out of - learn to see and love everyone as human and what it means, a re-exploration of his empathy.

Imagine: a scene where he kills a guy because a kid victim begged him to. The focus on the image is on the kid's big wide tearstruck eyes, and then Jason's uncertain face, the kid begging him to kill the bad guy. And then Jason kills him and they're standing so close to eachother, and he's look him in the eyes and seeing the image of the kid's eyes, and then turning back to the kid while wiping the blood on his face and seeing the kid's wide eyes looking in disbelieving awe. And then kneeling and hugging the kid as he cries his heart out. And Jason's inner monologue during all that being something like "I could say that I killed him because I'm a bad guy; I probably am. Or argue the world is better off without scum like him; I could pretend I did it so he wouldn't hurt [x] again, or that I was thinking about all the other children he wouldn't be able to hurt anymore. But the truth is, I didn't. I killed him because [x] asked me to; because I could tell that he needed it. I can live with that."

Idk, that's the direction I would love to see it going, but simply "becoming even more open, louder and unapologetic about prioritising his love over his values, and being angry when it causes him dilemma" is something I'd love with as way. Very "Odysseus knows what he's going to choose the moment the gods tell him to throw the baby off the wall to see Penelope and Telemachus, but fuck if he's angry at the gods for making him make that choice" kind of vibe if you like Epic the musical.

*i'm not saying there aren't any characters in dc that fall out of this deontological/utilitarian false dilemma, it's just a vibe I get from batman writers at times, and as a consequence of specializing in one character I don't feel legitimate in exploring the intricacies of other characters because I feel like I'm lacking information and would be making uneducated guesses (that being said, I would fuck heavily with an exploration of Cass' morals VS Levinas' concept of ethics). If anybody has recommendations of dc characters that are neither utilitarian nor deontological (or are at least an interesting twist to it) I would love them so much please don't hesitate!!!

So yeah, idk if that answers your question, I don't pretend to know the intricate working of dc editorial. But imo there are wonderful possibilities for dc to reinvent Jason and write him into good comics -call me a blue lantern cause baby I got hope.

[letteredlettered]

What an interesting topic. I’ve heard that a large percentage of employees cite their bosses as the reason they leave their jobs. What are some ways companies try to mitigate this?

They don't.

I can really only answer for my company, which cared about retention (of employees) a lot. Many companies do, because it costs much less to recruit/onboard/train as little as possible, and because it can be hard to get the work done without adequate staffing. I'd add that my company had one area in which staffing was a nation-wide crisis; also my company was in the public sector and was in the press a lot, which mean they cared about their image.

They still didn't do that much to ensure that people had good bosses. That has less to do with this company and more to do with the structure of business in capitalist society. This is a big reason HR is never going to be that helpful unless you've got a tiny company that, completely by luck, has mostly good folks.

A company isn't going to take a generalized point about folks leaving their job because they don't like their bosses as fact. Companies feel they are too diverse and the financial risk is too great to pour money into something if they don't have hard data, so the first step to retention is getting data. You would think exit interviews would be really informative, but those require a lot of time which equals staff which equals money. Some employers do them but mine would only do one if you asked, and then they did nothing with the info. This is because the company's mentality was "well, if you're leaving you're probably really dissatisfied and we don't want to hear about that." I know this makes no sense. But in general, not just in the business but in this society (formed by capitalism), the idea seems to be if you're dissatisfied it's your fault. Meanwhile the company is interested in data about why people stay; they figure if folks are satisfied, that's the company's fault and they want to keep doing the same so they can retain employees.

Our company had a huge employee satisfaction survey they did every year that included questions about employee opinions about the company, their colleagues, and their bosses. You get emails to remind you to take it and if you can't get time in the workday, bosses are supposed to allow time for it. Some problems with that are you still have to remember to take it; if you don't have time you have to ask a boss you might not like to get that time; some folks at my company literally had jobs that literally are life or death so it can be hard to take time to take a survey; the survey is only in English; the survey is only in the computer; the reminders are only in email. So you have to be a moderately good English speaker who regularly checks email and knows how to use a computer and gets regular access to a computer for the company to get your data about your satisfaction. As you can imagine, our most vulnerable employees often get missed.

If the survey showed that folks were really dissatisfied with a particular boss, that boss got put into a series of trainings. Training is good, but US businesses (and plenty of employees themselves) seemed to have latched onto the idea that training is the be-all, end-all of improvement. Many of us saw this in response to the discussions about EDI (equity, diversity, and inclusion) that came about in 2020; business promised to be anti-racist and had some EDI seminars to prove it, and that was all. Why is it like this? What is really needed to make bosses better bosses? And why isn't that being done?

When it comes to "why is it like this": recruiting and retaining good leaders is hard. The way someone becomes a boss in almost any organization is a) management likes them, and/or b) they were good at a job in a lower level or different department, or c) they come from the outside with a good resume and what sounds like good experience. But a lot of time, management likes people who aren't disruptive, and sometimes folks who aren't disruptive are the folks who are not thinking for themselves and not asking questions and doing everything the way they're told even when it doesn't make sense. That doesn't make a good leader. As for folks who are good at the lower level job in the hierarchy or in another department, they aren't always good at managing. It's a different skill set, but I've seen a lot of leaders and employees make this mistake. They think that that the folks who are great at the job should be promoted, and honestly that really doesn't make sense. And last but not least, folks who get hired from the outside are a complete crapshoot, because experience with leadership does not necessarily a good leader make.

As for what is needed to make bosses better bosses, imo what you would really need is someone embedded within the department who is managed by the boss and is doing the same work as the other employees, but also has the training and experience to evaluate what the boss is doing well and isn't doing well, and then also has the authority and buy-in to work with the boss so that the boss can shadow and learn the leadership skills they need. Then, if the boss can't improve, there would need to be the will within the org to fire or demote that boss, and often that will doesn't exist because recruiting bosses is so hard and the training is usually monumental.

Side note, what I'm describing is what consultants should do and normally don't. Consultants come in and ask a lot of questions and do focus groups and maybe some observations, but they are not in there doing the work understanding what it is like to live in this world, and without that I frankly find a lot of the work they do useless. That said, consultants are almost always hired to identify inefficiencies; they're not really there to make it a more satisfying job. Imo, the greatest efficiency is a satisfied worker, but it is hard to get the data to point that way, and again, companies only want data, and again, your dissatisfaction is your own fault.

Another side note, this is why unions are so great. Union stewards are folks who work for the company but can act as a union representative. This means they're embedded in the department and doing the work everyone does, but they can also at times step outside that role and carry the authority of an outside entity that does have some power to use against the employer. This is why all employees should have a union.

So, why aren't companies doing this? As you can imagine, hiring the ambassador to embed within a department, training them, paying them for their time--all of these are just too cost prohibitive to justify when they only thing you're getting out of it is employee satisfaction. It is also possible to improve employee satisfaction by paying employees more, which is in fact why I stayed in this job I hated as long as I did. I was getting paid so much that it just did not make sense to walk away without a firm plan in place. In the end, paying employees more costs less than ensuring they have a good boss.

I have lots more to say about this, but I've said a lot already, so if anyone has follow up questions, feel free to send more asks.

[wrongbodies]

A Body Swap Short

I know this if my first post in a LOOONG time, like literally over a year and change. I am rekindling my desire to write. I am hoping to continue this energy. I am starting off with just a short idea I had. A first person perspective of waking up in a new body.

----------------------------------------------------------

Waking up is not my favorite part of the day. These past few years have seen my sleep quality getting increasingly worse. From needing to get up multiple times in the night to pee, to tossing and turning as my body weight shifts and crushes down in uncomfortable ways. I've taken to sleeping on my side to mitigate it as much as possible.

This morning though... I'm on my stomach? I'm starting to blink open my eyes, sleep still crusting my vision and preventing me from registering anything despite all my other senses perking up. The bedspread feels different. Rougher, like the sheets were of a cheaper quality than my temperature control sheets I exclusively use. And then there's the smell. The room was pungent, to be honest. Sweat and beer?

Starting to get concerned, I start to push myself up earnestly. I notice that despite being on my stomach, pushing myself up is ridiculously easy. I'd be straining against my body weight to heave up. It's at this point that I can start to really see and perceive my surroundings. The room is definitely not my bedroom. It's small, and there's posters of bands and women I could not recognize. Turning to my right, I see another bed, messy and unmade. Whoever occupies it was not there currently.

I'm starting to panic though. How did I get here? Was this a kidnapping? I am not even wealthy or important... just a mid-level manager at a nothing firm. As these thoughts course through my mind, I absent-mindedly feel my torso, feeling the bare skin. It's taut, with a texture unlike anything I had ever felt on my own body. I could feel muscles, not overly bulging... but enough that the skin contoured over them. Startled by the feeling, I look down and see a golden-tanned chest and abs, below some navy blue sleep shorts with a dark treasure trail peeking up out of it.

What? I fumble with the covers still covering, tangled around my legs, and fall out of the bed. I catch myself with my powerful arms. Powerful arms? I was a flabby weakling... how is this possible? Are these my arms? It takes a little more effort, but then I am free and see a mirror on the back of the door to the room. I practically sprint, despite it being 6 or 7 feet away.

I stand in awe. There, in the reflection is a young man, he could be 19, or 20. He has dark hair, short and a little messy from sleep. He wears just some loose sleep shorts, navy blue... like the ones I saw on my own body earlier. I wave, and the boy in the mirror waves. I run my hands over my abs, and the boy in the mirror does the same. I feel the face I wear, and so too does the boy in the mirror.

That's me? I don't understand. I feel so alive though. As if every sensation I possessed was pushed to 11. I feel unstoppable, I feel like I could run for hours, or lift a mountain. Looking around, I see that this room is decked out in sports attire.

There's no explanation. I have so many questions. But as I look down, the first one I need answered? What's underneath these shorts...

[chronicbitchsyndrome]

as someone who is anti-authoritarian and also immunocompromised, i think group masking is as important and effective as good air filtration. for instance: in an indoors event where there is good air filtration + ventilation but no one is masking, you can still get covid if even one person attending the event is infectious, because covid spreads through aerosols that can travel distances of over 30 ft. factors like good fit and filtration efficacy (i.e. cloth masks do not filter air effectively, or kn95s that have huge gaps where infectious aerosols from exhalations can be breathed in/out) are also dependent, but if good masking is provided (i.e. events provide well-fitting, high quality masks) and good air filtration is provided, that can help a lot. i agree that structural issues are the problem, but group masking is also important too! <3

sorry, but this is factually untrue. group masking is significantly less important than good air filtration because it is an individual mitigation (meaning many people cannot or will not do it) and because it is not effective enough at stopping transmission of aerosols for it to be an acceptable mitigation for anyone at high risk. the floor is air filtration (and air filtration does not have to be systemic to be an appropriate mitigation; as i said before, an appropriate air purifier can be purchased by an organization or small group of organizers and used for all events at all venues, a one-time expense of (what generally turns out to be) $500 is well within the budgets of most organizations regularly holding community events).

this is what i mean when i say i'm trying to put together a database of accessible information regarding transmission of respiratory infections; the idea that masking alone makes it possible for at-risk people to have access to begin with is a common misconception that i just do not have the capacity to debunk with sources right now because the sources are inaccessibly written and require you to synthesize unrelated information from five or six different sources to understand.

i use the microCOVID project's risk tracker, which is a spreadsheet you can download and program with COVID transmission rates and other data (i.e. vaccination rates) for your locale. the spreadsheet calculates the probability of COVID infection based on specific factors (amount of time of exposure, masking situation, distance from others, number of others, filtration, ventilation, etc). the tool then breaks these down into approximate "points," and gives you a "point budget" based on the probability of contracting COVID within a 365-day period--you choose the probability you are comfortable with. i have mine set to 1%, which is the recommended probability for anyone not at high risk; if i were to go with the recommended high-risk probably, i'd be at 0.1%, which is restrictive enough that it's literally impossible for my life despite the fact that i am objectively high-risk. this gives me about 170 points per week to do all of my daily life activities that expose me to COVID--so including, like, groceries, doctors' appointments, bus rides, everything.

let's do a basic small community event as an example: a three-hour event, indoors, 10 people, all at least 6 feet away from me, everyone including me wearing KN95s.

without air filtration, that is 120 points. that is literally the only thing i could possibly do that week, barring small excursions where i stay away from people as much as possible.

with air filtration, that is 30 points.

and here's the thing: if i am the only person masking, if i am wearing an N95 and everyone else is barefaced with air filtration, it is 67 points. literally EVERYONE NOT MASKING BUT ME is still accessible if there is air filtration. i and the vast majority of other high-risk people can go to community events where NO-ONE IS MASKING if there is air filtration. i am going to write this again in bold text because i really fucking need everyone to understand this: air filtration and NO-ONE ELSE MASKING is literally MORE ACCESSIBLE than no air filtration and required masks.

air filtration is the floor. masks are not good enough and it is not actually harm reduction to require masking, even if you provide good-quality masks. i need to put together this database because i really fucking need people to understand this. i know you mean well, anon, and i appreciate the sentiment, but this exact sentiment is what is making the entire world inaccessible to anyone high-risk and it is actively causing damage to millions of people.

[if-whats-new]

~ SMALL TALK… ISSUE 1 (2025) ~

> WITH HARRIS POWELL-SMITH @hpowellsmith

BY BRIAR AND PETER

Joining us is an award-winning narrative designer and writer: Harris Powell-Smith! Author of the Crème de la Crème series, “Blood Money” and many more!

⟶ Hello, Harris! Welcome to Small Talk. We are absolutely thrilled to have you here with us! Before we officially begin, would you mind sharing with us a bit about yourself?

Hi! I'm a narrative designer and game writer who's worked on a few indie and mobile games including the multiplayer King of the Castle and the mobile Love Island tie-in game. Currently I'm freelancing and mostly creating choose-your-path text games with Choice of Games, which I've now been doing for eight years.

I'm most known for my dark academia Crème de la Crème series, and most recently released Honor Bound, the fourth standalone game in the series!

⟶ Now, onto the questions! Can you tell us how you started your IF writing journey?)

My very first experience with interactive writing was as a teenager, making NPC mods for Baldur's Gate 2 with my then-girlfriend, now-wife. Along with being a lot of fun, doing that gave me an understanding of branching dialogue, conditional text, and scripting, as well as how to playtest effectively, take feedback, and tailoring dialogue to fit within an existing game.

Then life happened and I didn't do much of that kind of writing until ten years ago, when I learned about Twine and started making games using it. That led me to publishing IF with the now-defunct sub-Q Magazine which was a great initiative that paid well for interactive fiction. From there I revisited Choice of Games which I'd played a bit previously, started publishing with them, and then began doing other work in the games industry.

⟶ Looking back, is there anything you wish you knew before starting IF writing?

Scope creep is a massive thing, and it's important to try to mitigate it where possible when planning and while writing. But... although I'm great at working within restrictions that other people put on me, I have a tendency to spread past most restrictions I put on myself, like a large cat overflowing over the edges of a small box. My CoG game Noblesse Oblige, the one in which I kept the closest eye on word count, ended up 40,000 words longer than I originally intended. Honor Bound, which I intended to be shorter than my previous game Royal Affairs, is over 100,000 words longer. So I haven't really internalised that advice for myself!

⟶ You started your journey into IF games with Twine. Was there a particular reason for that. Was it largely due to the loss of sub-Q Magazine? And what led you to try out CScript after?

Heh, it's more that with my Choice of Games titles, I have more freedom than I have with other projects so I have more leeway to go bigger with it!

I learned about various IF communities around the time that my friend Maz Hamilton made their Twine game Detritus in 2013. I felt inspired by playing lots of Twine games, decided to learn myself and made my first game, Aquarium! I liked that I didn't have to be a programmer to understand and use it, and that I could play around with lots of reactivity to the player's actions.

Alongside that, I rediscovered Choice of Games and got very into their catalogue. I learned ChoiceScript - again, I appreciated that it was beginner-friendly with potential for more complexity if I wanted it - and started three or so games which didn't go anywhere. But when sub-Q Magazine contacted me to ask about reprinting one of my Twine games it was very exciting to hear that people would pay me for my writing!

After publishing more IF with sub-Q, I applied to write for Choice of Games and went from there. That said, though, I carried on making games with other engines like Twine, Raconteur (which I don't know if many others have done!), Texture, and ink, plus various in-house studio's engines. So although I'm mostly working with ChoiceScript right now (which I love!), there's always been a lot of overlap. There are advantages to different tools for different kinds of projects!

⟶ You’ve written quite a few academia inspired IF games. Is this a genre you’re a big fan of? Is there a genre you’re looking forward to trying next?

Yes, I've enjoyed a lot of books in academic settings, including in boarding schools, ever since I was little! In adult life, I especially enjoyed Laurinda by Alice Pung, Prep by Curtis Sittenfeld, The Prime of Miss Jean Brodie by Muriel Spark, and The Secret History by Donna Tartt. And when I'm writing, I enjoy putting player characters in situations where they have rules guiding them (whether that's school, social etiquette, a workplace, family obligations, a reality TV show, etc...) and they can work within those rules or push against them. I also like exploring the gaps and tensions between work/school and the outside world. Plus schools are a hothouse of intense emotions and boarding schools have everyone living in each other's pockets - making them great places for drama to ensue!

⟶ Honour Bound just came out recently, congratulations! Even if it’s not your first project, it must be quite exciting. Any post-release thoughts you would like to share with us?

Thank you so much! Releasing a title never gets old, so I've been very excited (and nervous) around this time. For people who don't know Honor Bound, in it you play as a disgraced, injured military officer who's been reassigned to guard a teenage prodigy at a wilderness boarding school for the children of the rich and famous. You can recover or trash your health, career, and reputation, and befriend, romance, or backstab your colleagues, and thwart or enact shady schemes.

I love Honor Bound and I'm really proud of it! It was really fun to write from the perspective of an adult in the Crème de la Crème setting and explore another part of the world. The small town and school in which Honor Bound is set feel like real places to me that I'd love to visit, and I really fell in love with the characters - the PC as well as the NPCs. The PC can develop such different personalities and go down different paths and I'm delighted to be hearing about people's adventures.

I learned a huge amount from writing Honor Bound and developed a lot of skills doing it. I'm a little sad to leave it behind, but excited for what I'm doing next!

⟶ Besides Honour Bound and your other amazing creations in the Crème de la Crème universe, there are also shorts available on your Itch.io page. Did you always plan on making several games or did that idea come later?

Haha, I wasn't really planning anything when I first started writing IF! I was just experimenting and writing things that I enjoyed making and that I thought I'd enjoy playing, and learning different things that IF tools could do along the way.

I certainly didn't think I'd be doing this as a job ten years on! (I do very much recommend starting with shorter pieces when learning new tools/languages - it's much easier to get something finished that way, and I learn something with every project I complete.)

⟶ What’s your process of deciding how many choices the readers get? That’s something many have a tad bit trouble finalizing.

It depends a lot on the kind of game and scene it is. I like using the choices available to show something about the PC's state of mind and priorities, as well as inviting the player to choose what actions they want to take. It helps with setting different tones a lot! think a lot about what the effects of the choice are, whether it splits into major or minor branches, has mechanical effects, or is self-expressive for the PC, etc.

In my Choice of Games games, and with some of the other games I've worked on, there have been style requirements to always have at least three choices. With CoG work I usually write more like four or five because I like the variety. I tend to lean towards 3-5 even if I'm just writing something for myself, depending on the kind of scene and set of options... but there are always exceptions. Having two choices or even one can be effective too!

⟶ How do you deal with the complexity of branching narratives? Are there moments when you feel frustrated?

I plan it out in quite a lot of detail in advance - if I try to code and write at the same time, I get bogged down. I can still change things up and make discoveries as I do each type of work, but it helps me not go down as many rabbit-holes as I would if I didn't plan...

That said, frustration can definitely happen when I've planned something more complicated than I intended and I feel tied to it, or when I go down a path a little too long before realising I need to change something. Both those things can be mitigated with experience, planning, and clear intentions, but it tends to happen at some stage no matter how many games I make - it's in the nature of it!

⟶ How do you get inspired? It’s different for everyone, but we are curious about your inspiration process—after all, a good story comes into being from the first spark, correct?

I get inspired by all kinds of things! Sometimes from games, books, film, or TV that I've enjoyed - or didn't enjoy as much as I hoped, or that I'd like to explore myself from a different angle. Sometimes from art, technology, nature, current and historical events, scientific facts and developments, or something that happened in a TTRPG session. Often, something will sit in my mind for a long time before I use it for something. For my first CoG game, Blood Money, I liked the idea of magic powered by blood because I wanted it to be harmful to the person using it; various pieces of folklore and myth include ghosts being attracted to blood, so putting that together helped me think of the magic mechanics. For Crème de la Crème, I liked the idea of writing a mostly non-violent game, as Blood Money was very violent, that still had high stakes; I'd also been wanting to write a school story for some time as I enjoyed that kind of setting. I love the process of developing a PC, mechanics, and goals from an initial set of nebulous thoughts.

The big thing, I think, is that I try to be open to a wide variety of ideas and inspiration, and not to limit myself. Taking inspiration purely from one area - whether that's the type of media being read or played, or the genre, or tone - means missing out on a lot of richness and texture. So I always recommend that people who want to start writing IF explore a lot of different kinds of writing and games. (Really that's good advice no matter how long you've been writing!)

⟶ What about writer’s block? Many people suffer from it. How do you deal with your creative block?

The vast majority of the times I have trouble writing, it's because of outside factors - life stuff, stress, health, etc. So in those circumstances, my being blocked means I need to pay attention to those factors to avoid burnout. Trying to power through causes problems, so rest and protecting my health are what I try to do then.

The rest of the time is usually due to me trying to push through a scene that doesn't feel strong enough, or doesn't feel true to the characters involved, or doesn't quite work for some other reason. The "block" is a signal that I need to change something. When that happens, talking to someone is my first port of call. Sometimes just talking it out (like "rubber ducking") is enough for me to recognise what that change needs to be; sometimes it involves a more in-depth discussion. Either way, it always helps untangle things and put me back on the right track.

⟶ How do you create characters that a player can connect with? And characters that feel real?

I like creating characters with specificity. They might start with a general feel or inspiration - in Honor Bound, for example, I knew I wanted the parent of the PC's teenage charge to be a single parent who was a romanceable character. But it's important to me to quickly drill into the details of what makes them feel authentic and specific. Great characters are more than what players want them to do, or being a vehicle for a trope, or attractiveness.

The characters I love best are the ones who feel like they have their own minds, while being responsive to the player's actions. When writing IF, there's a great opportunity to invite players to engage directly with characters, and that responsiveness is what makes them feel real.

⟶ For you, has there ever been a moment when you felt a deep connection to a character(s) you wrote?

I feel that a lot! Pretty much whenever I'm writing. For some particular moments, though... the PC eavesdropping on a conversation between Hartmann or Delacroix with their parents in Crème de la Crème; Pascha climbing on rocks at the beach in Noblesse Oblige; Hyacinthe talking about success and failure in Royal Affairs; Savarel talking about burnout in Honor Bound.

I feel a particular connection with the Honor Bound PC - partly because they're the most recent PC that I wrote, and partly because there's a lot of self-expression that the player can do and explore. I really enjoyed giving players the chance to personalise their PC's life and to write responsively to it.

⟶ Do you have a character that you think is slightly difficult to write as compared to the others?

Characters whom the PC already knows well can be challenging because of the knowledge/familiarity gap between the PC and the player. A lot of the family members in Blood Money were like this; the PC's family and their guard Asher in Royal Affairs; the PC's old friend Denario and the PC's mentor, Alva, in Honor Bound.

Asher in Royal Affairs was especially difficult because at least the PC hasn't seen Denario for a number of years! But with Asher, they've been in close proximity for many years before the start of the game and it would have been easy for interactions to lean too hard on assumed past feelings or experiences. So it was a juggling act making interactions feel fresh with them while keeping a sense of familiarity and giving options for the PC not to want to hang out with them!

⟶ Is there a character whose backstory was the most fun to write? Why?

I enjoy writing characters who don't want to talk about their backstories, so the process of finding out more about them can be an emotional experience in itself. Honor Bound is very fresh in my mind and I'm feeling very affectionate towards the characters in it at the moment so I'd say Korzha the aloof teacher, Fiore the anxious scientist, and Savarel the thoughtful workaholic priest... For various reasons, they aren't immediately forthcoming about things in their life and history, and it was fun writing the points at which the PC can discover that and get to know them better.

⟶ Would you choose a happy ending or sad one? Why?

The joy of writing games is that I don't have to choose a single ending. Sometimes the endings have similar tones - some of my Twine games have bleak endings, like Heretic Dreams or Thanksgiving. But sometimes they can vary a lot more and I love exploring that! I do enjoy making sure that a less successful, or sad, ending has a lot of emotion in it, to make it feel worth playing.

For playing... I have a lot of fondness for endings that allow me to have ambivalent or bittersweet situations. When I played Love Undying: A Kiss Before Dawn and Stars Arisen, or indeed the non-IF game Pathologic 2 this year, I didn't have "perfect" endings but they were very satisfying and reflected where my character was at. So things don't always have to go my PC's way to end on a note that feels good.

⟶ Just recently you officially announced a new project. Could you tell us more about it? What can we be excited about?

Ooh, I will keep most of it under wraps for the moment! But for now I will say... it's a second-world fantasy game, there's a great deal of peril, a lot of creepy magic, and a selection of intense and complicated characters who I can't wait to write!

⟶ How would the person you were when you started this journey react to how far you've gotten?

Oh gosh! Honestly, ten years ago I couldn't have imagined that I'd still be putting my work out there at all, still less that people would pay for it or that it could possibly be my job. Life was so different then as well in any number of ways! I think they'd be shocked and intrigued, and wonder how it happened. Which is how I feel sometimes myself, haha!

⟶ Do you have any advice for people who want to get into IF writing?

Experiment with short or simple writing first, and try different styles to figure out what you do and don't like, and don't expect to write something perfect on the first try. Play lots of different kinds of games. Have a solid sense of what your intention is, while also taking feedback into consideration. And most of all, enjoy yourself!

ONCE AGAIN BIG THANKS TO HARRIS POWELL-SMITH FOR SITTING WITH US!

IT WAS LOVELY TO HAVE YOU!

[andhumanslovedstories]

hello this is kind of heavy and no pressure at all to answer. and apologies because im sure you must have answered this before. but do you go through like a pain management flow chart for your patients and if so what are some of the steps? my dad is having some medical issues and i want to be able to help him manage his pain as much as i can. thank you and enjoy wasteland!

I work in a hospital setting so my pain management care plan is part of an interdisciplinary team in that setting. It's relatively easy for me to get, say, IV pain meds for a patient with extreme breakthrough pain. I don't know how well my approach would translate outside of that setting, I'm not palliative care trained, and I don't personally deal with chronic or acute pain (which is why I'm answering this publicly so other people can chime in), but in broad strokes:

First: Define pain. What type of pain is it? Muscle pain? Indigestion? Neuropathy? Surgical site? Stiffness from lack of movement? Is part of the pain also the fear of the pain? Sometimes when pain has been bad for a long time, or even has been bad in a short-term but very notable way, the idea of hurting that bad again is traumatizing. That fear of pain can, unfortunately, make you focus more on the pain you're feeling because now it's not just the physical sensation of pain, it's also the psychological impact of it.

Then, how does the pain affect you? Is it stopping you from sleeping? Is it stopping you from eating? Is it making you short-tempered or depressed? Does it make it difficult to focus on things? Does it make you nauseated? Anxious? Isolated? Do you feel like you need to hide it from those who care about you?

Everything pain is and affects is a place where you can intervene. Some of these interventions will be very small and would, if they were the only intervention, feel completely inadequate. Pain relief is rarely "you do one thing and you're done." You're addressing pain on multiple fronts, and sometimes that doesn't mean your focus isn't just the reduction of pain but the restoration of what pain has taken away. It's possible the worst part of pain for you isn't the pain itself but, for example, the immobility it causes. Are there different ways you can learn to move? Can you get a grabber? Can you get a shower chair? Can you find physical therapy exercises that help you regain strength or stop you from deconditioning to the degree you're able? What mobility aids might restore movement to you?

And if returning mobility is not possible at this time or ever, how can you modify your environment to support you? Can you figure out what bothers you the most about that immobility and mitigate that? If it's annoying that not being able to leave bed makes you bored, what can be within arm's reach? If it's frustrating that being too painful to move means you feel isolated from other people, can you make wherever you are more central? If pain makes having your bed on the second floor unfeasible, can you move your bed to the first floor? How can you adapt the environment around you?

I'd encourage movement too, to the degree it is possible. Being in the same position HURTS. If it feels good to stretch but you can't do it by yourself, can someone help you with range of motion? (You can look up "passive range of motion" to get an idea of how to do that.) This doesn't need to be exercising, just exploring the joy of moving your body. Related to movement is physical touch. I love lotions and medicated creams for pain patients because you can turn them into massages. Just be careful with pressure and be open about what hurts and what feels good. At the most gentle end of the spectrum is something called the M Technique which isn't even massage, it's like guided gentle touch. Give the body something else to feel.

Different medications work better with different types of pain. This part is hard to talk about in general because of the specificity of some pain med regiments. Tylenol is great, but be cautious with how much you are taking (acetaminophen overdoses are no joke) and remember that there's a point where more tylenol doesn't mean more pain relief. Opioids are great, but they can be very dangerous and aren't well-indicated for a lot of types of chronic pain. Even if opioids work best, I'd encourage you to be working on pain reduction on multiple fronts, as opioids are so controlled, it is easy to lose access to them. If opioids give you enough pain relief to do physical therapy, then make sure to do that physical therapy. Medications are amazing and I love them and I give out PRNs like crazy, but similarly to how I can't just take my depression meds and stop being depressed, pain medication works best in conjunction with other strategies. Those other strategies though can literally be something like "tramadol takes away the pain enough I can focus on something, and what I want to do with that focus is to watch a movie I've been meaning to rewatch for a while now but haven't had the spoons for." Sometimes all you will want to do when you get pain meds is sleep because you can't when you're hurting. Sleep is wonderful; how can you arrange your sleeping place and habits to make sleeping even more of a delight?

And if you find a medication that works, use it consistently. It is always easy to keep pain level than it is to address a pain spike. Don't wait until symptoms are at their worst to address them. Figure out what it feels like when your symptoms are ramping up, and intervene early.

Sometimes medications that aren't explicitly for pain can still help. If anxiety makes pain worse, consider an anxiety medication. If coughing hurts, can you get a numbing spray from your throat to make it less sensitive so you cough less?

I don't know how useful this is to you and your family. Hopefully it's at least something to think about. Think about palliative care (which is about the management of symptoms of illnesses rather than the treatment of illnesses) as not just taking away bad sensations but restoring good ones. You can't always get someone to a place with no pain. But what can you do to enhance life in the presence of that pain? There is a psychological aspect to pain, it's a parasite that drains you and makes you feel like you are nothing but a body that hurts and won't stop hurting. I want to make clear, I'm not saying pain is only in your mind. Bone mets and nerve pain exist whether you're cheerful about it or not. But pain doesn't have to mean suffering, it doesn't have to take away the things that make you you. Address pain through medication and therapies, but also remember that protecting, promoting, and prioritizing the parts of yourself that you most value and give you the most joy will help give your life so much substance that pain can't rob it all. You aren't doing one big thing. You are doing a thousand small things that make life easier, better, more suited to yourself and your abilities, and more aligned with the parts of life that you that give your life meaning.

(And a note in particular for being the family member of someone in pain--ultimately, they are going through this alone. It is their body. What can you make smoother for them? How can you protect their dignity and their privacy without making them feel abandoned or alone? How can you make it so your reaction to their pain is not part of their burden? Like for the six hundred other hypothetical questions in this endless post, the answers will be highly personal and will take time to figure out. Be patient and calm.)

[astridellejo]

Kitab - Not Really Anything

So finding out at age 50 that I'm autistic made me just a little grumpy. It would have been nice to have known literally decades earlier. But we didn't know in the 80s what we know today about ADHD and autism. Still, I guess it's nice to know what it is finally.

I knew something was up with my headmeats, because I knew I had ADHD as early as the mid-90s. But did I do anything to mitigate that? I drank a lot of coffee and that was about it. Then in the 2000s I discovered energy drinks. Now I'm back to just coffee. I am currently taking bupropion, which is helpful, but I'm beginning to think that's it's not as effective a drug as I could be taking. (That sentence reads weird. I hope you get what I mean.)

I'd love to have a brain that just lets me do things. Because I have to bargain with my brain, bully it, berate it, beg it to do literally anything. It is so difficult to finish stuff, and extra difficult to finish stuff when it's difficult to start stuff in the first place. Everything I do takes longer than necessary because I have to keep convincing my brain to do the thing. It's so aggravating and demoralizing. So I gotta keep in mind that every accomplishment I do manage to make, no matter how trivial, is an achievement worth celebrating.

Me: "Yay! I did the thing!" Also me: "Good for you. Do you want a sticker?" Me again: "Don't get snarky."

Comic transcription below the fold:

1. [I lean on the sink and look at my reflection.] In my youth, people often told me I had so much potential to become somebody. Like a famous artist or something. But I have never been able to live up to this potential. Now, decades later, I understand why. For a while I thought it was Borderline Personality Disorder. But I found out what it actually is.

2. [I hold my fists up. Above each is a figure: the ADHD Creature and the Autism Creature.] It turns out one can be ADHD and autistic at the same time. That's a hard-hitting one-two punch that makes everything I try to do much more difficult and frustrating.

3. [Behind me are some folks. Two are chatting. Another two are flirting. I cannot tell the difference.] It's why I don't understand how people work. For example, I always misinterpret social cues.

4. [Around me are examples of hobbies and projects I've abandoned or left unfinished. I look very sad/frustrated.] Vintage computers; making videos for my YouTube channel; belly dance (and dance in general); my graphic novel; my homebuilt electronic wind instrument (and music-making in general); volleyball (specifically sand court) It's why I abandon hobbies and never finish what few projects my executive dysfunction actually allows me to start.

5. [I cry out in anguish as the tag on my tee shirt drives me insane.] It's why I sometimes lose my shit over something completely trivial. Like an itchy tag irritating the back of my neck.

6. [Finger guns to my reflection.] I am AuDHD. It's not a bug. It's a feature. Which is fine, I guess. I'd definitely rather be autistic than borderline.

7. [I glare over my shoulder into the camera.] I'm 50 years old now. I've always been like this. It's not going to change. I'm fundamentally dysfunctional.

8. On the bright side, I guess I don't need to feel pressured to try and become someone anymore. Because now I know that's probably not even possible. [Text on each side of my face: Certified Nobody]

[damnfandomproblems]

Fandom Problem #7282:

Writing this on July 16th 2023 a few days after the DDOS attack on ao3 because I know it may be some time before this is published.

Not that I expect the """Anonymous Sudan""" hackers to see this.

But what did you get out of this. If the leading theory ive heard of your motives is correct...

Pretending to be Sudanese and fighting for religious and politically motivated purposes, You attacked a non profit organization for fanfiction. "because of lgbtq+ and disgusting smut and NSFW".

But within hours all of the Fandom community knew you are actually Russian hackers. That you were trying to cause infighting between two minorities (a common Russian tactic) by making Muslims look worse by westerners and cause them to be angry with muslims, all so you can point at westerners as being racist and islamiphobic so muslims and middle eastern countries will side more with Russia. And even possibly so that yall can raise oil prices or whatever and crush Ukraine (I'm not entirely sure of the validity of that or how that works)

Not only did you fail to do that. Spectacularly. And very quickly.

You failed to keep a fucking volunteer run non profit website from being down consistently and failed all together after two days. So much for you "hacking and DDoS history"

And you failed the dumb 30k bitcoin "randsome" you were holding ao3 for. Which BTW again you couldn't keep down for more than an hour at a time by yourself. AND you tried bluffing and saying it's "practically impossible to mitigate our DDoS". So much for that huh?

So not only did you fail your main objective of causing tension between western countries and middle eastern ones. But you didn't get a single fucking cent out of us either.

Thank you to all of the volunteers at ao3 for fighting this shit for free and winning. For handling this case perfectly and making sure no racism arose from this issue. Or atleast no more than already existed, and for shutting down people who already were trying to racist from having the space to do so.

On a slightly unrelated note

I hope some of the "endotwracism" crowd have realized OTW isn't that fucking racist (I cannot speak as if I know all the workers personally) and that the existence of racism in fanfic shouldn't be censored. Because OTW and ao3 both do not condone racism. They don't condone attacking and harassing and bullying of /individuals/ for any reason whatsoever. Nor works that aren't fanfiction. Like advertisements in the fanwork format or whatever. Censoring "Abby the white racist from Ohio writing torture porn of poc" is not going to help poc in any way shape or form. Like anything that's censored "Abby" will just not properly tag her works.

Please ao3 is an archive. It was never meant to be a main hub for fanfic it's simply meant to archive it. All of it, so long as it is not illegal or attacking an actual identifiable person(s).

If you want a website for fanfic tailored specifically how you want it then use ao3 open source thingy (I forget what exactly it is or called) and make your own. This isn't anyone trying to exclude poc. But ao3 is meant for everything and that includes the "other side". if you don't want that then make a site to exclude them.

Like I'm sorry but ao3 is popular because it's an archive. Because it includes everything. And yall don't even stop to think about the resources needed to moderate something like that, who gets to decide what is racist and what isn't, or even the background of that supposed moderation team.

Poc aren't being driven away. They are just throwing a tantrum because they think the existence of something that offends them I'd a attack on them personally. When. In reality, and I know this depends on the Fandom, most fics I see that include racism in one for or another aren't made because the authors are racist. It's because they are comfortable exploring those concepts in fiction. Hell there are poc who for this too. Even outside of fanfic there are books that do this. And I'm gonna say it but alot of people don't believe that can be possible because of an author like J. K. Rowling. But even with her no one really says her books should be burned or that the Harry Potter Fandom shouldn't exist.

There are fandoms for media that is full of racist themes but that doesn't mean any of the fans are racist. While yes fandoms like that can tend to have more racist fans in comparison to others. But People being comfortable with exploring the concept does not inherently mean they are racist themselves.

Wish people understood that.

Anyway. Moral of the story is give the middle finger to russia not the middle east and to always be skeptical of who you hear or claim is doing what. Because of shit like this

I am so proud of the Fandom community for handling something like this better than anything else would or had. But honestly idk how people can just assume the work of a few particularly bad people means anyone "like" them are also bad and deserving of hate. And why anyone would believe or take seriously people doing something bad "for" a certain group. Like why would a group WANT to be seen as evil or whatever by others? And for no reason?

What did they think would happen? "hey " muslim" hackers hacked this gay porn site and now the users of gay porn site are mad at muslims. You should hate them back"

??? Like even IF the hackers were who they claimed to be, I highly doubt Muslim people are so stupid as to think it's unreasonable for users of gay porn site to be a lil peeved for being antagonized for NO REASON by Muslim hackers. Religious or not no one can be that stupid right? You can agree with the hackers all you want but you have got to recognize the fact that gay porn site and gay porn site users were provoked first.

Maybe it's just me and I can't understand stupidity like that.

I'm just glad they weren't able to achieve their goals in the first place.

Anyway as of today ao3 seems to be running normally. I'm still be a bit wary since they have not the declared the attacks over AFAIK. But honestly. It really seems like they've done nothing more than a lil two day prank and gained nothing from it.

If this gets posted earlier:

please be wary of ANY anti Muslim sentiments. Anything that would try and paint them or anyone in a bad light really. And do not go after Russian citizens. They have no control over what is happening either and just like you and me are not connected to whatever racist war bullshit the world leaders and governments are trying to pull these days. Please think critically and ask yourself who and why something is being said about some group or another. Even if you don't like a group for whatever reason, it is not worth it to try and beat anyone down. It serves no purpose other than to make the world worse for everyone and to put more power in the hands of people who should not have it.

Thank you.

[ovobawrites]

𝐵𝑒𝒶𝒸𝒽: 𝐸𝓅𝒾𝓈𝑜𝒹𝑒 𝒮𝑒𝓋𝑒𝓃 ♡ 𝐹𝒷𝑜𝓎𝓈 𝒜𝓃𝑜𝓃𝓎𝓂𝑜𝓊𝓈

disclaimer: this has already been posted on ao3 and quotev, i'm just reposting this beach episode special as a promo for the fic. after this is all my previous author notes.

this is a fem!reader and also a half chinese!reader insert.

previous ♡ next

"Another day, another slay." You muttered to yourself, quoting Cater as you got ready for the day. You didn't exactly understand why slaughter was such a good thing, but you were sure it was another one of those turns of phrases from the internet.

The birds had just started to sing as you left your room, softly closing the door behind you before racing down the stairs as quickly and quietly as possible. There was no way you were going to eat Lilia's cooking, not for your first meal of the day. Hopefully Malleus somehow restrained Lilia before he could get out of their shared room. Though, knowing Malleus, he may very well revel in the chaos Lilia would cause.

...You could hear the clanging of pots and pans from the kitchen. You stood frozen, debating the merits of running away or trying to mitigate the damage until footsteps echoed through the doorway. Probably Trey, Ruggie or Jamil then. Lilia would never walk when cooking (maybe that's part of why it's so bad?). 

You sighed to yourself in relief and walked into the room. "Ah, good morning Trey!" You chirped, feeling better already.

"Hm?" Trey turned over to you, cherry red apron tied to his waist and a smudge of flour on his cheek. "Oh, good morning to you too (Y/N)." He smiled.

You examined the kitchen with an ever-critical eye, seeing both sweet and savory ingredients set on the counter. "Whatever is all this for?" A teasing tone. "A feast? For us?" A batting of your eyelashes as you prepared a speech of epic proportions in response to the inevitable betrayal Trey would bring.

"It actually is." Trey chuckled. "I'd rather cook for all of us then have to manage Lilia here again."

"I wouldn't worry about that." You murmured to yourself, but elaborated upon Trey's questioning look sent your way. "Malleus or Silver either locked him up or distracted him last night to the point where Lilia won't wake until noon."

"...That doesn't sound much like Malleus. But it would be rather nice of Silver to do that." Trey turned back to the mix of batter, and with a flourish, whisked it into a perfect consistency.

An obligatory round of applause from yourself and a mock bow from Trey. The smudge on his cheeks was really starting to annoy you... but his hands were dirty so it's not like he could get rid of it himself. You leant against a counter and watched Trey work, whizzing throughout the kitchen with practiced movements. Skill and subtle strength in how he handled every ingredient before him, a spark of flame and a sizzle of butter. The click of the knife against the cutting board as fruit was turned into slivers at the speed of light.

"I'm making pancakes for us, if you're wondering." Trey spoke aloud, vulnerable back to you. Ease and trust written all over his frame. It made your heart pang for just a moment. "It's the perfect breakfast food. Well, that and waffles I suppose. And crêpes... Anyways, you can pair them with meaty foods like bacon or with more sweet confectioneries."

"Is that so?" You mused. "We only have cōngyóubǐng, a scallion fried pancake, and there's mandarin pancakes[1]... oh! And shredded fried pancakes... though at that point they're quite different from western ones..."

"So savory pancakes?" Trey surmised.

"Pretty much!" You grinned, and decided you might as well get rid of that smudge on his cheek before the white stains it forever. "Stay still for a moment, you have something on your cheek." Trey hummed and tilted his head towards you obligingly. A quick rub of your thumb got the flour off, and with a small cheer, you licked the residue from your finger. 

Trey went still, a small widening of his eyes and a quick intake of breath from him. You glanced at him with clear concern. "Something wrong?"

"No, it's nothing." And with a quick shake of his head, Trey went back to work.

The kitchen was silent but for the sounds of cooking, yet you were ever so comfortable around Trey that you barely noticed. Simply being with him was enough. Pinks and reds. A glowing warmth as you watched him continue to make breakfast for everyone. An unbidden smile came to your lips. 

(And if Trey recognised it for the real smile it was, a crack in the jade mask, he said nary a word, content to bask in the happiness you brought him.)

"Thank you for cooking, Trey!" Ruggie grinned as he dug into his sky-high pile of pancakes. "Ifw's dewishous!" 

"I'm glad you like it." Trey accepted the praise with a smile, eating his own, much smaller, pile of pancakes with far better grace.

Lilia pouted. "How come you didn't wake me up? I would have been ever so delighted to have made breakfast with you!" At that, everyone looked away, sweating or tugging at their collars.

Turns out, Malleus had 'accidentally' broken the alarm clock in his and Lilia's room, rendering Lilia unable to know when, exactly, he needed to wake up for breakfast prep. And thank the gods for that! 

"There'll always be a next time, Lilia..." Silver patted him on the back with a twitching smile. 

"...You're right! I can always cook tomorrow!" Lilia beamed as the rest of you scrambled to find a way to stop him.

But then, just in the nick of time, your saving grace arrived: 

"There'll be no need for that, Vanrouge." Crewel said as he entered the dining room, no interest in the foods in front of him. "Ortho and Jade will be cooking tonight and for tomorrow's breakfast."

Lilia fake sobbed into Silver's chest, slighted by this rejection from his professor. Meanwhile, the rest of you looked so thankful, Silver about to collapse from the relief Crewel just gave him. Seems Lilia had a few tricks up his sleeve last night, though he failed in the end.

"For lunch, you will have the opportunity to prepare sandwiches from the ingredients I left in the cupboard." Crewel continued on, unfazed. "Now, if you excuse me pups, I'm going to go relax on my own. Don't interrupt me unless it's an emergency. If I find you disturbed my vacation for foolish reasons, you'll be the test subject for my next batch of cursed foods."

And on that slightly threatening note, Crewel staggered out of the house, sunglasses on as he left. 

"Was... Professor Crewel... drunk?" Ruggie asked, ears pushed back. 

Leona just sighed in reply. "If you had to teach at NRC for a year, wouldn't you get wasted too?"

Ruggie thought about it for a moment, tilting his head as his face went from grief to depression to anger to bargaining to acceptance within a second. He shrugged and went back to devouring everything on his plate.

You finished your smaller portion much quicker than the boys, and went to wash your dishes and prepare your lunch before the inevitable fight for ingredients. Jamil and Jade likely thought the same, judging from how they picked up the pace. Then, on the other side of the spectrum landed Riddle, Kalim and Azul, currently embroiled in some engrossing matter (something about studying?) with an interjection or two from Floyd just to get Riddle riled up. Cater bugging Idia and Malleus about some matter or the other, likely his magicam, while Trey juggled calming Riddle down, getting Cater to stop scaring Idia so much, and chasing Lilia's invitations to cook together off. 

You smiled to yourself as you left the room to make a small meal for yourself, butter and sandwich meats combined with some crunchy lettuce. Nothing too fancy, especially since you might have to puke it up later. You were not completely immune to the effects of poisons, after all. Only immune to the death part... 

Ruggie joined your side and prepped food for Leona and himself soon after you finished packing your lunch in a bag. A flick of your wrist to get your water bottle out of your sleeve, and you were set to get ready to swim at the beach. 

"Wait, how many ingredients did Crewel give us for lunch?"

"Oh, where did Ruggie go?"

"Oh shit-"

You sighed, completely at peace as you lay in the sun. Thankfully, there was enough wind to keep you pleasantly cool despite the burning rays. Leona lay to your right in the shade of the trees, joined by Ruggie curling up next to him within an hour, the hyena exhausted from... something about hunting for expensive seashells? Meanwhile, Vil was having an impromptu photoshoot with the help of Rook and Cater. A thirst trap to gain more magicam followers, judging from the amount of water bottles he's used to add 'perfectly placed' droplets of 'sweat'. Cater was most certainly starstruck, taking notes at such a rapid speed that his fingers didn't even move as he followed Vil's directions to a T. 

Trey had been lying next to you too, at least until his attention was called away by Riddle being tugged under the surf by a certain eel, his brother watching with a laugh. Azul was stuck in the shade as well, unwilling to join in whatever shenanigans Floyd and Jade were pulling this time (especially since he just knew he would be teased). He, Idia and Ortho were working on an extravagant example of architecture.

"No, you need to place a tower here!"

"Azul, I'm the one who designs mechanics, shouldn't you follow my directions?!"

"If you had an eye for aesthetics, maybe I would!"

"Wait big bro- careful! The castle-"

A shriek. A crash. A muttered argument after Leona growled. Oh dear.

The silence after that led to you drifting off to sleep, curling up on your side while the hours ticked by. Thank god Kalim had taken Malleus off on some 'exciting trip!' followed by their worried retainers, you don't think you could handle his level of noise right now.

A loud crash to your left made you jolt awake after who knows how long. You blinked a couple of times, utterly disoriented by the sudden awakening. 

"Careful, Malleus! We can't drop that-" A pause. "Um. Oh well! It's not that big of a deal!"

"Oi, Lizard, what're you doing with such a big rock." Leona groaned.

Malleus and Kalim had appeared to bring over a huge grey rock from the shore, still shiny from the waves. The two seemed endlessly fascinated by it, for... whatever reason.

"This will work so well! Thank you Malleus!"

"Of course, it was no trouble, Kalim."

Then, another crash from behind them. It was a harried Jamil, followed by Lilia with Silver in his arms, asleep. "Kalim. Just why. Did you bring over a huge rock to the shore?!"

Kalim laughed sheepishly. "Well-"

"You know what?" Jamil pinched the bridge of his nose. "I don't want to hear it. Just clean up the mess when you're done, got it?"

"Okay, Jamil!"

"Wait so you brought the rock over for a reason?" Ruggie ogled at it. "Is it cuz it's full of gems or something valuable? Can I have some of it?" Puppy dog eyes already in place, he was prepared to beg until...

"Oh, there's nothing special about it! I just wanted to see if Malleus' magic was so strong that it could lift a big rock!" Kalim chirped.

Leona's eye twitched. Vil looked on the verge of conniption while Cater laughed nervously from behind him. You could just hear Jamil getting ready to rip Kalim a new one.

You broke the tension with a giggle and a clap of your hands. "Well then, your magic must be very strong, Malleus! To be able to lift a boulder like that..." You trailed off.

Malleus puffed his chest out, ever so proud of himself. "Thank you for the compliments dearest (Y/N), rest assured this feat was nothing to me."

"What!" Kalim interjected, stars in his eyes. "So you can lift something even heavier? I wanna see!"

You paused to let Malleus interject demurely, but to your shock and horror, he was actually considering it. "Maybe... not now Kalim? I don't think there's anything bigger than a boulder here that can risk being damaged." You sighed.

"Nah, I wanna see lizard boy lift the villa."

"Hm? Why not."

"Wait- Malleus- I wouldn't-"

"Aw man, Crewel's gonna kill us..."

[1] Mandarin pancakes are what is used to wrap up like... those peking duck and sauce and vegetable wraps you make yourself at those chinese restaurants. It's made of like water and flour, and they're thinner, usually smaller (from my experience) and smoother than tortillas. 

Mini Theatre Malleus: Why is Lilia tied up in the closet? Silver: So he doesn't cook breakfast tomorrow. Malleus: I see. (closes closet door) 

Kalim: Hey Malleus, wanna check out that totally dangerous thing over there? Malleus: Hm, it does seem rather interesting... Jamil, Silver and Lilia, running over at full speed: my kalim/malleus is doing something deadly sense is tingling!

and here is the seventh part of the beach ep. if you'd like to read the rest of the fic, you can read it on ao3 here, and on quotev here.