#and I’m terrified of posting here
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Father and tiny son
#batim fanart#batim bendy#batim au#batim#henry stein#batim art#batim henry#batim Henry stein#bendy the demon#bendy the dancing demon#digital art#art#whiteboard#doodles#till death do us part au#death do us part au#hi! I’m Mel#and I’m terrified of posting here#have some crumbs after so long of nothing being posted here#I’m very shy#bendy and the ink machine#rubber hose
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tbh I still think Brock Rumlow was an interesting character and upon further examination way more unsettling a villain than most to me because like. Let’s be real, the second you lay eyes on Robert Redford as Pierce monologuing in his pristine suit and glass office high up in the sky he just screams Evil Politician! at you. You can see it coming a mile away. Meanwhile Rumlow is….Just Some Guy. On the surface, he’s just some side dude. He’s not enhanced, he’s not in some major position of power, he’s just someone who’s really good at what he does and seems dedicated enough to the work and functions well with his team. He respects Steve, might admire him even, but not so much that he gets starry eyed like everybody else. He’s lighthearted but focused, he’s no nonsense, he’s the everyman Steve can relate to way more than spooks like Natasha or Fury.
And okay, maybe what Rumlow does for a living is beat intimidate and kill people, but it’s not like that’s the primary objective, right, because SHIELD are the good guys and this is what Steve does now, too, anyway; except that Steve doesn’t really use any weapons other than the shield, he holds back, he doesn’t carry a gun anymore which is usually fine since he’s dangerous enough without it. But when that leaves him vulnerable, he’s covered: Rumlow’s got his six, and he does it well, and he earns some of his trust. This is familiar to Steve.
And maybe Rumlow’s a little too good, fine, maybe he shoots a guy in the head within the first fifteen minutes of the movie when he doesn’t necessarily have to and then cracks jokes immediately after but that’s alright too, because that guy had Steve at gunpoint and that guy was Bad whereas Rumlow is One of the Good Guys just doing his job, right. Rumlow’s joking around because he’s used to the violence, they’re all used to it, and this is just how it works. They’re just soldiers doing the grunt work and following orders, and this is familiar, too.
Except that they’re not soldiers and this isn’t a war, except that the work is for an intelligence agency whose job it is to hoard and steal information and monitor civilians and orchestrate and sabotage and meddle in internal and external state affairs. Except that the Good Guys, in reality, are extremely grey at best. Except that many of the Good Guys turn out to be Nazis on top of everything else, and it’s not that far of a stretch.
But when it’s all starting to unravel, you’re still thinking well maybe some of these guys didn’t know. Maybe they didn’t do it out of individual belief, and if faced with the right choice, they can be redeemed.
That is until you realize that Rumlow maybe didn’t respect Steve and what he did so much as what Steve could do if only Steve weren’t “weak” in other ways, if Steve had chosen the right side. That it not being personal is less a cop out and more a taunt the same way just following orders has always been, for Rumlow and many many men that came before him and will continue to come after. Until the vault when, by the most charitable of interpretations, Rumlow looks at the Winter Soldier letting himself be smacked around and crying and getting shocked like he’s maybe a little unnerved (if not just downright fascinated) by the whole thing, but not enough that it really changes anything for him, because the end justifies the means and it’s not really his problem, anyway.
Until Sam shows up and Rumlow looks at him like a bird of prey and says This is gonna hurt with a fucking smile on his face, and then you think: shit, man, obviously. How was it not clear from the start.
To me, what makes someone like Rumlow a good villain, even a side one, is not that he’s straight up Insane & Evil™️ or suffering from Tragic Backstory Syndrome or all hopped up on magic superstrength juice or whatever, but precisely the fact that he’s Just Some Guy with a cockroach survival mentality who operates well within the established system and just so happens to be really good at his job - a job that he might’ve even joined thinking it was for a good cause, or because he had something to prove, or simply because it gave him one hell of an excuse to be a bully. Because he either wholeheartedly believes in HYDRA or he just doesn’t give much of a shit either way so long as he gets his due in the end, and both are just as bad.
Because when you strip away all the grand scale superhero theatrics, you’ve seen this before. You’ve seen Rumlows in your school and in your neighborhood and in the military and the cop car patrolling your street. They’re the ones who sometimes say or do somewhat offputting shit but you figure it’s fine because they’re otherwise real nice or charismatic or normal looking, or maybe they work a job that’s framed as helpful or protective or inherently good despite the power dynamics at play, or they share your background and interests and you chat about the weather being crap this time of year.
And every time one of them turns out to be a violent, hateful piece of shit, you’re still somehow surprised then, too, when you really shouldn’t be.
#apologies for the extra long post but I’ve been thinking about why he freaks me out as much as he does#the world is full of brock rumlows is all i’m saying.#and that to me is way more terrifying than evil crazy russians in underground labs or deranged aliens could ever be#brock rumlow#ca: tws#brock rumlow meta#I guess???? hello how the fuck did I get here at 5 pm on a tuesday jesus christ#mcu meta#max.txt
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(。・・。) witnessed so much Fronnie today I had to draw them too
#fnaf#fnaf security breach#glamrock freddy#glamrock bonnie#fronnie#im not posting this on twitter or instagram because my family is there 😭 and I#no wait my bro follows me here#but he’s cool because he’s a furry#anyway#idk I thought maybe the pose was -w- too much I’m trying to not be nervous about these things#im 27 and terrified of these things 😭😭😭#by these things I mean romance#scandalous#pix doodles
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Professor Aesop Sharp (fl. 1890) was a wizard, who worked as an Auror for the British Ministry of Magic and later a Potions Master at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry in the 19th century. [He] had a gruff and keenly acute nature, was not easily impressed by his students, and was a difficult taskmaster. Although he was wholly unwilling to suffer fools in his class, he was by no means entirely unreasonable in his methods, as he was known to take genuine pride in students who excelled in his class in spite of his challenging curriculum.
#Aesop Sharp#Professor Sharp#Hogwarts Legacy#Harry Potter#my edits#I like him! I do...#Really debated posting this but I tried very hard to get these photos to colour match#Then of course tumblr killed the quality. Sigh#I’ve never been so terrified of posting an edit but! Here we are#I’m sure some unoriginal hack will post spoilers in the comments that we all predicted even before being spoiled#hogwartslegacyedit#harrypotteredit#hpedit#1k
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MAILMAN - SOUNDGARDEN
BABYGIRL WHAT IF THE SINGLE PLANK PATH TURNED MY YOUTHFUL INNOCENCE INTO A TOXIC COCKTAIL OF HUBRIS AND MORBID RESIGNATION
yeah. follow for more of the character of all time XO
#verse 2: for all of your kisses turned to spit in my face / for all that reminds me which is my place#for all of the times when you made me disappear / this time i’m sure you will know that i am here#verse 3: my place was beneath you / but now i am above#and now i send you a message of love / a simple reminder of what you won’t see / a future so holy without me#its the bitterness. the references to an inferior origin. the mocking tone. the finality.#the ‘i’m bringing you down with me and the eventuality of my demise gives me power over you.’#the spiteful continuance. OURGHHHHH#urgh yeah. ‘a simple reminder of what you won’t see/ a future so holy without me’ is probably my favorite line in reference to the yllz#my favorite song from Superunknown (album) is Limo Wreck!#but this has been on my wwx playlist for a while. and its right next to LVCRFT’s Dead Don’t Die djbdhgf#which is a banger about how awesome and spooky it is to be undead#(its like. hip hop x pop x how villain songs in musicals are always the best)#e.g.#‘welcome to my lair / put your bones in the air’#sorry lemme just#DEAD DONT DIEEEEE (the dead dont die we just multiply) DEAD DONT DIEEEE (does this look in my eye make you terrified?)#yeah its more goofy silly post resurrection wwx. hes a multifaceted character <3#is the curtain of talismans in the demon suppressing cave fanon or canon btw? i cannot rember where i got it from#used my yllz nenderoid as a reference 😌#art#mdzs#cringetober 2023#mo dao zu shi#my art#yiling laozu#yiling patriarch#wei wuxian#the grandmaster of diabolism#the grandmaster of demonic cultivation#self harm tw
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my entry for @chillandtryingtoimprovemyskill’s DTIYS on insta!!🫶✨ I became possessed adding details👹
#the assignment absolutely did not call for Fedya’s rats playing poker#but here we are#I dropped my own silly Fyo easter eggs all over this#in hopes of manifesting either more clues or actual revelations about his ability in ch 114.5 tomorrow !!!#I’M SO TERRIFIED#also will anyone appreciate the Agatha cameo in this or just me👹🌝#high-key ship her & Fyo🕴️ muwahahaha but that’s an art post for another day🏃🏻♀️👀#dtiys#dtiyschallenge#fyodor#fyodor dostoevsky#fyodor fanart#bsd#bsd fanart#bungou stray dogs#bungou stray dogs fanart#bungo stray dogs#bungo stray dogs fanart#fanart#anime#manga#bsd manga#fyolai#nikolai gogol#artists on tumblr#artists of tumblr#digital art#rats#agatha christie#sigma bsd
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my job is at risk and i’m unsure of when i’ll be able to get a job. i have been applying en mass to try and see if i can get literally anything, but i am currently bricking it because im worried about paying my bills.
a summary of the situation is i have some sort of wrist injury that is impeding on my ability to do my job, as i cut hair. i’ve had an x-ray that showed no fractures, an mri that showed normal wear and tear, so our only thought is that it’s nerve related. i have a history of carpal tunnel (surgery for both my hands happened in 2017) and i have cervical spinal stenosis, which does cause numbness and tingling in my hands and arms. the next course of action is to get an EMG, which is a nerve test to see if there’s something wrong there. that isn’t scheduled until 7/30 and that is their soonest availability. i don’t know what will happen if this doesn’t show anything, because something is wrong. we just don’t know what.
my living situation is not at risk as i live with my mom. she does cover the bills she can as well as trying to help me maintain money in my own account so i can pay for things. my mom will probably be needing surgery in the near future, and she is fortunate enough to work in a place that has short term disability. my main concerns are paying off what credit card debt i have as well as paying my car payment. i am very fortunate that things aren’t worse. i still have things that are mine that need to be paid.
if anyone would like to help im listing my venmo, paypal, and cashapp below. anything helps and please share if you can. thank you for reading and thank you in advance for any help.
cashapp - $localopa
paypal - @/localopa
venmo - @/localopa
#o posts#mutuals please boost if you’re willing#shit sucks and i’m terrified and im trying not to think about what could happen#i feel shitty enough that i am going to see niall tomorrow even though i paid for this ticket well over a year ago#i’m not spending any money at the show unless i absolutely have to especially considering it’s going to be in the 90s here tomorrow#and it’s an outdoor venue#any money is going towards bills and not towards anything else
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(context for watcher/listener!sausage can be found in the “videos” tag on my blog if you want it, but this ficlet can be read without said context)
- - -
“Y’know, of all the Hermits I was expecting to be pulling me into a dark corner tonight, I did not expect you to be first, Grian! I love the initiative!”
“I’m going to pretend I didn’t hear that,” Grian says in a voice near a hiss. He’s got Sausage by the wrist, leading him into a small area of the upper floor of the tavern in Sanctaury that does look like it was built for the exact purpose Sausage is implying. Grian decides to ignore that as well.
“What are you doing here?” Grian’s straight to the point. He always has to be, with these Things, if he doesn’t want to get trapped in a loop of slant rhyming pleasantries.
“What do you mean?” Sausage asks, shaking his wrist out of Grian’s tight grip and leaning comfortably against the wall. “This is where I live. It’s my home. If anything, I should be asking you mysterious strangers what you’re doing here, but I’m sure you’ve heard that question enough for one day.”
“You know exactly what I mean.” Grian crosses his arms and tries his best not to look petulant, but he sure feels like it. “I thought They’d given up on trying to snatch me back, so why would They send you of all people? What’s your game?”
Sausage laughs, honest to god laughs, like he can’t believe Grian’s even asking him such a question. Grian thinks it’s a reasonable question, in this scenario, but what he thinks and what’s reasonable rarely seems to matter with these things.
“They didn’t send me,” Sausage looks him up and down in that way that makes Grian have to physically stop himself from curling inwards. This is why he never talks to Them. “Nobody sends me anywhere, they don’t tell me what to do and I like it that way! I just do my own thing. Isn’t that what you’re doing?”
“No you’re not! You’re not- you can’t be! That’s not how this works!” Grian begins to notice that he’s no longer whisper-shouting and starting to just-normal-shout and takes a deep breath, trying not to draw the attention of his friends enjoying themselves on the floor below. And, realistically, in the other dark corners Sausage seems to have built into this place.
“That’s exactly how this works. You didn’t think you were the only person who’d left, did you?”
Grian opens his mouth, closes it, and thinks. In hindsight… yeah, he had kind of assumed he’d been the only person who’d left. Not for lack of trying, probably- but They’d tried for so long to get him back, kept him closely surveilled even when They’d accepted he was gone- surely some people had caved to that pressure eventually. When there was no sign They’d ever let up, ever let you go… he could understand eventually letting it overtake you.
“Did- did you leave, too?” Grian doesn’t remember the last time he saw Sausage’s face. He didn’t know him back then, of course. He probably would’ve connected the man with the person Pearl so often spoke about sooner. But he knows it’s been a long time, maybe even longer than the last time Grian had gone There. He doesn’t think Sausage had been There, that day. This might explain why.
“Eh, not quite?”
“What-“ Grian flails, both mentally and with his arms a bit. “What do you mean not quite?”
“Exactly what I said! I was never- it’s complicated, y’know?”
“Explain. Now.”
“Well, uh,” Sausage seems to flounder for the first time since this conversation started, which Grian is choosing to take as a victory. “Look, I wasn’t- they didn’t pick me. For this, or for anything, ever. Sometimes things just happen and you get yourself into a place you shouldn’t have and then… they can’t get rid of me, I can’t get rid of them, it is what it is.”
Grian stares at him for a long moment. Really stares at him, in the same way Sausage had looked him over earlier, in the same way that makes you feel like you’re under a microscope. Judging by the sudden nerves in his eyes, Grian can assume he feels it too. Grian remembers his face. That had been the first thing he’d noticed, when the Hermits had arrived. It had been a long time since they’d seen each other, but Grian knew his face. And now that Grian was studying him, really trying to remember… he’s not sure he quite likes what memories he’s dredging up.
“What are you?”
“Grian!” Sausage’s voice drips with mock offense as he puts his hand up to partially cover his mouth. “We only just met, do you think that’s polite?”
“Answer the question,” Grian sighs. How Pearl deals with this man on the regular, he doesn’t know.
“Well, if you insist.” Sausage sighs, somehow even more exaggerated than his previous movements. “It’s just… if you’ll believe it, it’s somehow even harder to answer the first question.”
“It shouldn’t be,” Grian says. “They’re two very different People, you know.”
“But they’re the same species, when it all comes down to it. Like, you might be very different than a chicken, but you’re both birds in the long run.”
Grian pauses, fanning his wings out a bit behind him as he considers. “I don’t think that metaphor’s quite landing the way you want it to.”
“No, me neither. Anyways, let me continue.
When they don’t pick you, things go a little differently! You don’t get sorted onto one side or the other since, well, you’re not really supposed to be there? So I’m… whatever I want to be, really. I think I’m feeling like more of a Listener, today, but we’ll see how the mood shifts.”
Grian flinches at the Name, on instinct. He doesn’t know how to feel about that, so he files it away to be dealt with at a later date. As for the rest of what Sausage said-
“What?”
“You heard me.” Sausage shrugs. He’s so nonchalant, Grian thinks he might strangle him, if not for the worry that that’s exactly what he wants out of this, somehow.
“Did I? Did I hear you?” Grian wants to pace, but that requires leaving the security of the corner, so he forces his feet to root themselves to the floor. “I thought- I thought you had to- if you wanted to change sides, I thought you had to-“
Grian closes one eye and takes his thumb to it, twisting the finger into his eyelid. The gesture seems to get the point across.
“Well, that’s the funny thing about this, actually.” From the way he’s been talking, Grian assumed Sausage thought this whole thing was funny. He restrains himself from saying that out loud if only so Sausage will finish his explanation.
Sausage reaches up to his left eye, pulls his eye lid back a bit, and unceremoniously pops out his prosthetic eye.
“All these processes and rituals actually have a lot of loopholes.”
Grian doesn’t know what face he’s making, but it’s enough to make Sausage giggle while he pops the eye back in. Because of course he does. Because this how his day is going, apparently. Walk through a weird portal in his basement and wake up in a world filled with his friends who don’t recognize him and also a guy he only ever saw There, who he was never supposed to see again. Sure. Of course he’s laughing about it. Grian thinks if he was a slightly different person, he’d be laughing too. It is, undeniably, absurd.
“Well, I think we’re done here then!” Grian would probably object if he weren’t so shocked about the loopholes. As it is, he just stands there a bit stupidly.
Sausage turns away to return to the party before turn around again for just a moment, reaching over, and ruffling Grian’s hair. That shocks him enough to shake him out of his stupor and swat Sausage’s hand away, though not before his hair is suitably messed up.
“What was that for?!”
Sausage smiles as he reaches up to rough up his own hair as well. “I assumed you didn’t want your friends asking questions about why you were dragging me into a dark corner, you know?” Sausage even goes far enough to pull his shirt a bit out of where it’s tucked into his pants, because of course he does. Grian tries not to cringe, but Sausage is right about this one thing. It is the easiest way to dodge any questions about where he’d gone off to- at the expense of the many knowing looks and teasing remarks he’ll be getting from the other Hermits instead.
“Have a good night, Grian!” Sausage calls over his shoulder as he turns to leave for real this time. “And remember, drinks are on me for all you guests tonight! You look like you need it.”
#empires smp#hermitcraft#grian#mythicalsausage#hermitfic#empiresfic#long post#my writing#….do i need to tag shipping on this#they’re not actually DOING anything. and i would say i’m not really going much further than sausage usually does#but like. idk man. if i wake up in the morning and decide i need to tag shipping i will#anyways. fics for an audience of like two people total#but that’s ok cause i like this SO MUCH#the first few sentences have been rotting in my tumblr drafts for like at least two months#and i finally kicked myself into gear to just finish it#and i had fun! i liked the way i used capitalization here to really wedge the difference between how these two think of the watchers#(and listeners)#grian doesn’t necessarily respect them but he does still see them as Other. and he’s maybe a little afraid#so all the important stuff gets capitalized#sausage doesn’t. he doesn’t respect them and he doesn’t fear them and they’re just a weird bureaucracy to him#so no capitalization!#also ten seconds after posting this i got a post on my dash#of sausage posting a screenshot of e’s tumblr post about him checking tumblr in their twitter replies#terrifying. hey king if you see this keep the bit up. i think it’s funny#my art
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Haha yay I love being scared I’m coming off as a weird older person with my friends now (:
#my birthday is in like. a few weeks. I’m already afraid of being an adult#like I love my friends!!! I want to tell them!!!!!!! I love being around them and talking to them and being silly but that could come off as#smth I don’t want to mean!!!!!!!!!#they’re a lot younger than me kinda!!!!!!!#adults with younger friends on the internet are always treated like guilty until proven innocent!!!#I’m not looking forward to being so terrified of saying Anything and being seen as That#concern posting#aggjgjgjfhfjgjhhhhhtgsffFfFfFAFAAAAACKCKKKK#I Know I would never but I’m still terrified of ending up like that I know I’m not going to it’s a fucking. intrusive thought I think is the#word. I think it’s an ocd thing that happens a lot with anxious people (extremely disordered person here lmao) like you Know your not an awf#ul person but you can’t help thinking ‘oh what if your secretly a pedophile’ or some shit like no?????? I’m not????????#but there’s always that FUCKING what if#I hate it I agagggghhggjhkhhhhhhfffff#if I’m like put on a list because of this post I’m gonna kill something bro#sorry just saying shit!!! don’t like keeping rants and shit like this circling in my head so I make postsssss#I’m not making another fucking side blog for this shit yall get the Bad Shit
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some tragic love stories be like: if i could bottle the galaxy, i would pour it into a cup so it would be easier for you to drink. do you want them? do you want the stars? or do they suit you better as adornments for your eyes than glitter on your lips?
but they don’t want the stars. they don’t want the galaxy. but how can they not? is that not enough? (it’s too much, that’s the problem. it’s too much.)
#ney's idle chatter (random textposts)#me trying and failing to capture why hadestown has embodied Love in a way i don’t think i’m really capable of comprehending fr#but also this can be about whatever blorbo you want#when i think about that one line in chant#when hades says ‘brighter than the light of day’#‘look. look at what i can make for you—see?’#meanwhile the last thing persephone wants is to be reminded of this hollow echo of what their love is in her memories#when i think about that scene when eurydice tells orpheus they need to get food#but he’s working on his song and she makes the choice to trust him and go#to work harder and longer and search for things to feed them and trust he’ll bring spring back#THE WAY PERSEPHONE TRIES TO KISS HADES GOODBYE AT THE START WHEN SHE COMES BACK FOR SUMMER#AND HOW IT PARALLELS EURYDICE KISSING ORPHEUS GOODBYE WHEN SHE GOES TO LOOK FOR FOOD#and hades pulls away. because she’s leaving him and he’s terrified. he’s terrified and turns it into anger because otherwise he’s helpless.#and orpheus doesn’t respond when eurydice leaves because he’s working—he’s working and he’s going to give her what he promised.#but she needs his help. she needs his help now—she needs his support and he isn’t there.#thinking about the moment she takes the ticket from hades and#it almost implies she starves. that she dies. that she starves to death trying to find food for them both#i promise you however unhinged i seem about this musical i am being purposefully restrained so i don’t spam you all too much orz#holy SHIT these tags are LONG#even for me this is ridiculous there’s a whole other post down here#high five to you for reading it ig damn#hadestown
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I made the mistake of scrolling around on tumblr KNOWING I follow people who post about the new episodes soon after they come out and lemme just say.
#putting my prediction in the tags to hide them from people who also haven’t seen the whole episode yet in case I’m right#just gotta drown it out first so all the Dndads tags are after this I really wanna make sure it’s all hidden gjdhdjg#dndads#dungeons and daddies#dndads spoilers#dndads season 2#dungeons and daddies season 2#I have seen not one but TWO PEOPLE posting about Rebecca and one of them included me and my husband and the other said they were grieving#i may be worried about the wrong person here but as an oak family enjoyer#who has said VERY RECENTLY that I am going to commit hand to hand combat with Anthony Burch if he kills One of the twins#I’m terrified Sparrow Specifically is about to kick the bucket and I’m going to have to go about my day like nothing happened#MY BEAUTIFUL BOY!!#I stand by that he might have a homunculus/his real body is in Oakvale#you can not go missing in Oakvale and tell me it’s o-a-Kay it’s fucking OAKVALE#edit: it was worse than expected ;0;
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Guess who lives in America, is openly trans, and can’t afford to leave 🙃
#I’m genuinely terrified#i can’t escape but I can’t stay here#and going back into the closet would kill me#if I could take my family my girlfriend and my best friends and leave I fucking would#but i can’t#what do i do#i’m so fucking scared#I’m so scared#us politics#donald trump#cw american politics#cw donald trump#vent post
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Chasm: Curse of Kaine (Vol. 1/2024), #2.
Writer: Steve Foxe; Penciler and Inker: Andrea Broccardo; Colorist: Brian Reber; Letterer: Joe Caramagna
#Marvel#Marvel comics#Marvel 616#Chasm: Curse of Kaine#Scarlet Spider#Kaine#Kaine Parker#I was originally going to split this page into two posts#leaving just the top panel to comment «hardee har har ironic coming from someone whose creator refuses to let stay dead»#but I do think there’s an ongoing theme here#how much of Kaine’s interactions with Ben in recent years have been colored by the guilt of Kaine getting multiple chances#to learn what heroism while Ben was presumably dead#and then struggling with some of the objectively terrible things Ben’s done since#(is it Kaine’s responsibility as a so-called hero now to put Ben down as only Kaine has the strength and#supposed moral flexibility to do? But where does Kaine get the right to do that#considering his own past terrorizing Ben and Ben being one of Kaine’s greatest models of heroism?)#all wrapped up in a very brotherly Cain instinct#but yeah nothing that hasn’t been discussed before don’t mind my musing hahaha#I’m just constantly rotating this guy around in my head like a microwave#there’s also the humor here of Kaine not acknowledging (refusing to a knowledge???) how terrifying he is hahaha#although that joke would land even better if he still had visible claws on his suit
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love is real and it’s me waking up before 8am on a saturday to watch arcane with haven
#only bc i don’t want to keep her poor cst self waiting past 10#but oh my god i am so fucking excited#and terrified. it’s like 50/50#i’m going to cry no matter what happens probably#wish i could post my act 2 reaction pics here.#/astro posts
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..
#sometimes I take a really cute selfie and get the urge to show my face on here#and then I’m like mmmmm noooo#I enjoy the anonymity#and people not fully knowing who I am#and I’m also just terrified that someone I know in real life will find this page#if I show my face 😅😅#but sometimes#sometimes I get the urge to share the cute selfies 🫣#mine#text post
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inspired by @colap1nto <3 and posting here to hold myself accountable: writevember! attempting to write something every day no matter how much and what it is
i am however inventing stipulations for myself so i cannot weasel my way out of it, which includes a valid definition of “write”:
actively put words into a document in the form of a proper fic!!! too many wip not enough hands!!
poems (actually laughed at me coming up with this but maybe i will go back to my roots)
research/meta/primers
tag stories are permissible IF i actually compile and edit them into a readable document that day
editing to post to ao3 (the optimism) is also valid. it takes me so long
i do have concrete arbitrary deadlines for one and a half fics that i would LOVE to finish and post in november (dewey^2 and [redacted :)]) so i’m hoping this helps!! also, this is secretly just a sticker chart where i get to put down emojis for each fic i worked on and check off boxes but a win is a win
day 1:🪻🐈⬛
day 2: 😇🤭 (🕒 -> 🕜)
day 3:🫃2️⃣
day 4: 🍎
day 5:🫃2️⃣
day 6: 📑, 💌
day 7:🫃2️⃣ AND ☁️💧. who is she
day 8:🪻🐈⬛
day 9:🫃2️⃣
day 10:🫃2️⃣
day 11:🫃2️⃣ we are on a STREAK and also a countdown 🫡
day 12:🫃2️⃣
day 13:🫃2️⃣
day 14: 📬💍
day 15: 😇🤭 (🕒 -> 🕜)
day 16:🫃2️⃣
day 17: 🔴 ⚫️,🫃2️⃣
day 18:🪻🐈⬛
day 19:🪻🐈⬛, 😇🤭 (🕒 -> 🕜)
day 20:🫃2️⃣
day 21:🫃2️⃣, 🤫 🪽🃏
day 22:🫃2️⃣
day 23: 💯❕
day 24: 🪢
day 25: 🐛🏮🦋
day 26:🫃2️⃣
day 27:🫃2️⃣
day 28:🫃2️⃣
day 29:🫃2️⃣
day 30:🫃2️⃣
WRITEMBER RECAP: an overall sucess!!!! this was so much fun and really forced me to write even if it was only a little bit every day. like, to the point that i'm debating doing a cute little twelve days of christmas snippet fest. absolutely could not have finished and published dewey^2 p2 without this challenge or posted p3 :)
thirty days of writing
twelve different fics worked on
poems: 1
i have no word count for you sorry i wish i did but it is at least over a few thousand words!!!!
times i wrote for a day past midnight (making it technically the next day) but because i was still awake i counted it for that day: at least 17 if not closer to like. 25
tags i forgot what they mean: one. what the FUCK is 🪢??? OH MY GOD I KNOW EXACTLY WHAT THAT IS NEVERMIND
duolingo streak (worked on the same fic in a row): 5
#liv in the replies#guys are you proud of me. i put everything I would normally yap into the tags in the actual post. hashtag growth#i say continuing to yap into the tags. I don’t want to be pessimistic but I AM scared this is occurring during my monthly bout of#productivity and I will face the doldrums and absolute inability to write in 2-4 days lol#also everyone says this next systems course is GARBAGE and terrible and super hard which. okay 💗 yay 💗#I should’ve put “reply to ao3 comments’ as a valid form of writing because the comment box terrifies me but it’s FINE#if you have ever commented on my fic I love you with every unspeakable fiber of my being and there is one comment I feel so guilty about#but it’s because every time I think about it I need to go jump around in circles I can’t fangirl too hard I also cannot find the WORDS#like even typing this out i’m like. anxious butterfly but it’s because I have so much love in my heart#also i am codifying the emojis to fics for Me sorry because I think it’s fun and i’m being secretive for literally no reason.#everyone tell me to get off of here and work on an actual fic. after I have my nik-induced/enabled 2353 breakdown#we hit day five and yes I DID forcibly make myself not work on a completely different fic. i wannnntttt to finishhhhh 🫃^2 2️⃣ so badddd#& this is not a game of ‘work on a different wip every day’ even if i could feasibly do that🫡 good news is i rlly think 3 -> 1 1/2 is done?#update 11/10 (technically 11/11 but it’s fine this is how it normally works) if i write like an unhinged person which is to say at all#bc i have midterms but also really like an unhinged person i MIGHT be able to adhere to my self-imposed deadline for 🫃2️⃣. god bless me#at 1:30AM yesterday having an absolute breakthrough with a line that has been in some variation in so many different fics including mine#for myself specifically because i keep having this moment: 🪢 is the fic in the bottom of the yowling doc lmao.
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