#and I’m like you’re right I deserved to be abused and raped

[karmacharmeleon18]

You’re aware that Thea was most likely SAd even more and worse than Jean right? At the end of the day Jean was a white man but Thea was a POC woman in the nest. She most likely was gang rap*d. She might have known that Jena was suffering but it wa nothing in comparison to what she had to do/what she was made to do to earn her place in the nest.

First of all I am a black woman so yes, I’m very aware how how shitty our lot is in life

I know this is rude and aggressive, but at this point you deserve it, because randomly showing up in someone’s inbox with an ask like this, two separate times (and the first time much more graphic), is just plain fucked up and you deserve the reality check. You got lucky tumblr ate your previous ask and my response because I tore you a new one.

Now, you’ve gotta explain to me why do you NEED (and atp it is a pathological need y’all seem to have) to make the abuse in the Nest even WORSE than what it canonically is?????

The Nest is a CULT.

THAT IS BAD ENOUGH.

Being in a cult is bad enough already. I’m sorry that doesn’t satisfy you? Doesn’t tickle your fantasy enough? And you need to fantasize about a black woman being gang raped to satisfy your craving for violence and sexual abuse because apparently beating kids to death and Jean being raped several times is not enough for you?

Seriously, what is your goal here? What do you expect me to say?

You randomly show up in my inbox with disturbing asks about an extremely triggering topic and expect me to do what, exactly?

And you dare use race as a “gotcha” when I have already acknowledged that Thea most likely, inevitably had it harder than other Ravens because she’s a woman of color

But again, that’s not enough for you, right? So I ask you: what else do you want me to say?

I have said several times that Thea is a VICTIM. Like every single Raven. Even Riko.

She was ABUSED in the Nest. Like every single Raven. Even Riko.

Why do I have to acknowledge and agree with your speculations about her being g*ng raped despite there being NO PROOF OF IT IN CANON?

Why do I have to agree with your graphic fantasies?

Because you do realize that what you're saying is all speculation, right?

And I’m sorry, but if you want to have a constructive conversation about these books and their extremely graphic themes, we can't focus on speculations, on what might have happened, because the possibilities are endless

What we can and should focus on, is what we KNOW happened

We know that Jean was raped several times

We know that Thea dismissed it as Jean being a whore

We know that Jean was almost killed by Riko

We know that when Thea saw him half dead, she assumed it was the Master's doing because Jean might have been "up to his old tricks" and he deserved the punishment

(Kevin fully knew Jean was being raped, and he said that all Ravens knew a variation of the story; I think many knew, while others - particularly Thea, who was in her last year, with her eyes set on her pro career already and not the time nor inclination to care for little boys following her around like ducklings - didn't care enough to look into it)

We know that Riko used rape to torture Jean

We know that he felt the need to keep it a secret from the Master

We know that Tetsuji used his cane to beat his players

As far as we know, no Raven was raped, waterboarded, pushed down the stairs, stuffed into a box, cut to pieces by Riko's knives like that, had his bones broken for fun

Only Jean

Even Neil was spared some of these tortures, despite being property like Jean

But being "like Jean" does not make you Jean

Only he was tortured like that

“She might have known that Jean was suffering but it was nothing in comparison to what she had to do” LITERALLY NO.

The main abuser in the Nest has always been TETSUJI, for years before Riko showed up

And Tetsuji’s brand of abuse is horrible and fucked up enough as it is

And does not include rape

Nothing in the books or extra content points to rape being standard practice in the Nest. Nothing points to it being used as a standard corrective method or punishment. Nothing.

(or waterboarding, Riko’s knives, being suffocated into a box, being pushed down the stairs, etc. …)

Jean never mentions it. Nora never mentions it.

The only one that uses rape as a weapon is Riko.

And specifically against Jean.

That's why Riko kept it a SECRET from the Master. He didn't want Tetsuji to know because that might have been too deprived even for him

Rape is not the Raven's way

It's specifically Riko's way

And specifically towards Jean, a frightened yet combative queer boy that was also his property, and he was going to use rape, and knives, and water to beat the queerness and the fight out of him

This is what distinguishes Jean from other Ravens: he was PROPERTY

All the methods he was tortured with are exceptional, in the sense that they were exceptionally cruel but also the exception to the rule

There’s no mention of any other Raven being waterboarded, for example. Only Neil who, despite not being a Raven, was considered property as well by the Moriyamas

And yet Neil was never raped at the Nest

Maybe because Riko likes to have an active role when torturing people: he would never touch another man sexually, so with Neil he uses knives, and water and fists. Maybe there was simply not enough time for Riko to orchestrate Neil's rape, under Tetsuji's more watchful than ever eye. He wanted to personally torture Neil during his stay at the Nest, and rape is a boundary not even Riko will cross, so Neil was spared that agony.

Or maybe it's more simple than that:

Neil was Moriyama property

Jean was Riko's property specifically

Riko could do whatever he wanted with Jean because he belonged to him

But Neil didn't, so he was spared some of the horrors

I know that Riko is the Big Bad Wolf in the story because we watch it all happen through Neil’s eyes, but Riko was not the main abuser in the Nest

The MAIN ABUSER in the Nest, for years, since the Nest was created, long before Riko showed up, was TETSUJI MORIYAMA

Even Riko was abused by him

And his brand of abuse was physical violence administered with his cane

Even in Jean’s story, despite all the awful things Riko did to him, we see the amount of trauma Tetsuji caused him, the grip he still has on him, as strong if not stronger than Riko’s

.

Villains are nuanced. Beating teenagers as punishment is very different than having them raped, or tolerating mass rapes happening under your watch

Just because Riko is a special kind of depraved bastard, it doesn't mean Tetsuji is the exact same type of depraved bastard

Y'all need to stop thinking that every villain is the same, thinks the same, acts the same

Not every villain rapes people, kills children, boils puppies alive and kicks kittens to death

In my opinion the Moriyamas are cartoonish enough in their villainy as it is, there's no need to exaggerate even more

.

This is what y'all need to understand:

The average Raven experience is bad enough

YOU DON'T NEED TO EXAGGERATE TO MAKE IT SOUND EVEN WORSE

Thea, Kevin, Riko and every single Raven were in a CULT

THAT IS BAD ENOUGH

A cult that beat them up for every tiny mistake, that decided what they would study, that controlled their food and every single minute of their day, that kept them in a constant state of fatigue, sleep deprivation, physical and psychological stress, and forbade interactions with the outside world. The Ravens weren't even allowed to have families.

For Gods' sake, that is bad enough

Why are y'all so obsessed with making it even worse????

All we got from the books and extra content is that the Ravens see sex as a tool, a way to let out steam, and since women on the line up are rare, the Ravens don't make distinction, they sleep with whoever is up for it and still consider themselves 100% heterosexual

Jean specifies: "they'd made do with any man willing to tumble"

Key word: willing

He never mentions any rapes happening in the Nest besides the ones he was a victim of

And with how close of an eye he kept on Thea for that year they overlapped in the Nest, you'd think he'd notice if she was gang raped. Especially because Riko would 100% want to watch and torment Jean vicariously with it. Yet it never happened

The only ones who never slept with a man are Riko and Kevin, because in Nora's words from the ec: "they were too... press conscious? Public-opinion oriented? They were going to be champions; they were going to be world famous stars. They didn’t need anything that could “taint” that image, no rumors or hints that would put a dent in their stellar image."

(and now we also know that Riko was absolutely disgusted by the idea of touching another man sexually, he wouldn't even get his hands dirty when it came to tormenting Jean in that regard, he had other Ravens carry out the rapes for him)

Besides, Kevin was interested in Thea since the moment he met her, when he was still in high school and she was in the Nest. Kevin respected and admired her... and she barely gave him the time of day, she didn't beg for favors or special treatment because she didn't need to

Thea is a hell of a backliner and not even Riko has ever tried anything with her, because he never had a reason to (to use Kevin’s own words while explaining how come he was never raped 🙄🤢)

This is the average Raven experience: harrowing, because you are stuck in a cult for 4 years, and it will forever affect your life, but also rewarding, because if you train hard enough you get exactly what you signed up for

You get to win championships and become one of the best pro players in the country

And as far as punishments, that’s the Master's business, certainly not Riko's

He might like to torment you if you cross him, if you’re not good enough, if you show you’re scared and Riko smells fear like a predator

But Riko doesn’t have the right to beat some random Raven to death, or have them raped repeatedly or gang raped (or waterboarded, or cut up and bleeding, or or or---)

Riko doesn’t have the right to put a player's performance at risk

He could only do so with Jean, because Jean was property

And even with him, Riko spent YEARS testing the waters, pushing boundaries, understanding what he was actually allowed or not allowed to do to him, seeing what Tetsuji would tolerate and what he better keep secret from him

Jean does not represent the average Raven experience

Jean was property

Property specifically given to Riko by the Master, to do whatever he wanted with him

(I know I'm repeating myself ad nauseam, but atp I think the repetition is necessary; I've said the same things over and over, post after post, and I still keep receiving the same type of asks, so maybe if I say it a million times it'll finally sink into your heads and y'all will leave me alone?)

.

In a world of abuse, Jean is still the terrible exception

Just like Kevin and Riko were the exception, but at the opposite end of the spectrum

They were ALL abused, but Kevin and Riko were extremely privileged, treated as kings, "little gods" among men… meanwhile Jean was property and treated as such

And again, keep in mind that not even Neil was raped, despite being property as well

So why do you assume, with 100% certainty that Thea was?

Thea represents the average, but leaning more towards the privileged side

Jean and Neil are property

Riko and to an extent Kevin are family

Thea and all Revens, past and present are assets

All are abused

And all are given the chance, if they endure, to become the best

Which is why Thea is a Raven apologist through and through, and if Jean told her that he was raped, best case scenario she would just shrug it off (like Kevin)

And despite what happened to him, Kevin is still a Raven apologist, just not as enthusiastic as Thea:

.

There's no mentions of rapes for any other Raven, because rape is Riko's weapon, and only against Jean

I know (and I've said before) that technically in the Nest Kevin has power over Thea. If Thea disappointed/upset Kevin, he could go to Riko, and Riko could go to the Master and persuade him to punish Thea in some way; extra drills, less sleep, a slap, a punch, a hit of his cane to the ribs... That said, the only way to truly upset Kevin in the Nest is to suck at Exy, and Thea Muldani most definitely does not suck at Exy. So Kevin would have no reason to complain about her to Riko and set the chain of punishment into motion

As for Riko himself, he has a lot of power over Thea, but I simply cannot see him hitting her without Thea hitting him right back. And the Master would either ignore the whole thing or take her side, because I bet that old bastard would have loved to see his antichrist of a nephew humbled by someone better than him

(Not Kevin though, never Kevin because Kevin was Riko's brother in the way the Moriyamas understand brotherhood: the second always serves and submits to the first; the only time he was allowed to try, he paid dire consequences for it)

But a Raven decking Riko in the face? A woman, at that? Hilarious. Especially because Thea was one of the best, not some random bratty Raven throwing a fit against the King, but one of their best players putting a child back in his place, and why wouldn't the Master like that?

... Or maybe he would have laughed and then killed Thea for the capital offense of laying hands on a Moriyama, who knows...

But I don't think that Riko was willing to take the chance

I think he respected her

(again, all speculation)

Remember that Thea was a 5th year senior when Riko joined the Nest with his ideas of a "Perfect Court" and numbers to bestow upon hopeful Ravens. She had her eyes set on her pro career and most likely a pro contract already secured. Riko had nothing to offer to her. She admired him because he was a Moriyama, a "little god", the King of the court and part of a duo considered the future of Exy. But she is Thea Muldani ffs, she doesn't need a child to give her a number, she's going to earn a spot on the National team on her own. She spent 4 years in the Nest without Riko and absolutely dominated

Thea considered Jean a little lost duckling following her around (in an incredibly condescending, bordering on insulting way, rather than affectionate)

She considered Kevin the future of Exy but also, in the beginning, a guy not up to her standards and who "fucks like a virgin", she barely gave him the time of day... until she noticed how good of a player he actually was, how much Riko was stifling his talent... (btw she was actually the one to put it in Kevin's mind, for the first time, that he was actually better)

And I'm sure that she respected Riko as a Moriyama and as the King of the Court. But off the court, if Riko had tried to swing at her, she would've swung right back. With her backliner racquet instead of a fist

And I think Riko knew it and respected her for it

Thea is extremely arrogant. The type of arrogance born out of actual, tangible superiority (just like Kevin). Which is why you'll never convince her that she's wrong about anything (just like Kevin) and why she'll hit you if you try to hit her (just like Kevin does with Neil and Jean, getting aggressive and physical until Andrew or Jeremy intervene; but unlike Kevin, Thea will attack anyone that crosses her, not just people she considers weaker than her and easy to subdue, as Kevin does)

The Ravens have existed for years before Riko showed up

We only got to know the Riko-obsessed Ravens, because the books are set during his reign over the Nest

But that’s not the reality, the usual, the standard for the Ravens

For the average Raven, that trained at the Nest before Riko, there was a different god: the Master

Tetsuji Moriyama was their obsession, their recurring nightmare, their tormentor

(their savior, their leader, the source of their every success and fleeting moment of joy… because that’s how cults work)

And Tetsuji’s brand of violence, as far as we know, does not include rape

Doesn’t even tolerate rape, since Riko kept it a secret from him

And that doesn’t mean that Tetsuji is a good guy

It simply means that what Tetsuji is, is bad enough already

There are Ravens that were literally killed by the Master after a beating that got out of hand

That is bad enough

Every Raven was stuck in that environment for 4 years, witnessing and experiencing physical and mental abuse

You don't need to make it even worse

The Ravens have existed long before Riko joined the Nest

His particular brand of cruelty is not the standard

So I really don't understand this obsession with making everything even worse, more horrific, more cruel...

I do blame Nora for this, she undeniably has a fixation for pain/torture and even admitted she can't find a character interesting unless they went through unspeakable abuse

And she attracted a fanbase that for the most part thinks just like her

Or maybe you’re one of those Kevin apologists that hate my opinion of him and are trying to use Thea as a tool to diminish Jean’s suffering? Because you think that will somehow absolve Kevin? … Kinda racist to use a black woman as a pawn in your games to elevate an already privileged white man, don’t you think?

Whatever the case might be, go do that somewhere else. You’re not welcome here.

Kevin and Thea deserve each other. Jean deserves so much better than the both of them. He deserves Jeremy, Cat, Laila, Jab, the floozies, Coach Rhemann and Adi, the sun of California, rainbows, open roads, friends...

Die mad about it.

[slut4thebroken]

All Work, No Play: hour two

── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ──

Pairing | Jackson Ripper × reader

Summary | Jackson makes it clear that he has no intention of letting you go anytime soon.

Warnings | NON CON 18+, sexual content, fingering, dubious consent, degradation, humiliation, choking, crying, breeding, unprotected sex, emotional manipulation, objectification, dehumanization, anal rape, no lube, spit as lube (don’t do that besties), spanking?, knife play, cutting, carving?, blood play, spitting lol, breeding

Words | 5.6 k

Notes | READ THE WARNINGS. YOU ARE RESPONSIBLE FOR THE CONTENT YOU CHOOSE TO VIEW.

Ao3 link | <3

Fic Masterlist

Main Masterlist

Hour one

“Push it out. Yeah, there you go.” He cooed, collecting his come on his fingers as if trickled out of you. When he deposited it onto your asshole, you stiffened. 

“Jackson.” You warned, getting an incredibly painful slap on your ass in response. 

“Relax. Like I said, I’m not completely cruel. I’ll prep you a bit first.” 

“Jackson, no-” You whined, trying to lift yourself up onto shaky arms, but falling back down with a scream when he hit you again, this time on your clit. 

“I’m more than happy to just get right to it, if that’s what you want.” He waited for your response, then continued with a scoff when you stayed silent. 

He suddenly pushed his fingers in your cunt and your hips moved back to chase the pleasure when he pulled them away after only a few seconds. He dragged them up, teasing your other hole, and you tried your best to relax, but when the first one pushed in, your whole body tensed up. 

“If you just relax it won’t hurt as much.” 

No shit, you wanted to say. Instead you bit your lip and buried your head in the sheets, trying not to make any sounds. When the second finger pushed in, it forced a sharp breath out of your nose and you started to taste blood from how hard you were biting. 

“Fuck, you’re tight.” He groaned, then spat on your rim and you let out a choked moan, making him laugh under his breath. “Of course you like that.” When the third finger pushed in, you jolted and moved up the bed, but he grabbed your hip and roughly pulled you back, making sure not to move his hand so that the motion would bury his fingers even deeper. “Remember what I said. I’ll gladly fuck you right now. This is me being generous so I suggest you don’t abuse my kindness.” 

“Jackson, please don’t.” You sobbed, head lifted just enough so your voice wasn’t muffled. “Please-” He all but punched his fingers inside you, making you cut off with a whimper. 

“Jesus fucking christ.” He grumbled and you heard the sheets rustling as the bed shifted, then he was pushing your face down into the bed to muffle your sounds. “I’m trying to be nice but you just can’t quit the whining, can you?” You let out a strangled whimper and fisted the sheets until your fingers ached. 

“You’re lucky I was your first rapist. If it were anyone else, they wouldn’t give two shits about prep. But maybe that’s what you deserve.” He grabbed your hair and lifted your head, then leaned down so his lips brushed your ear, never stopping the movement of his fingers. “After all, no one wants a loose cocksleeve. So prepping you just seems a little counterintuitive don’t you think?” You let out a quiet sob as your eyes filled with tears once again. 

“What do you say to me for being so generous?” He asked lowly, making you almost shiver. “If I don’t think you’re grateful then I’m not going to waste my time with this.” 

“…Thank you.” You whispered. 

“What was that?” 

“T-thank you.” Your voice was barely a whimper now and when you squeezed your eyes shut, a tear rolled down your cheek. “Thank you.” He shoved your face back into the bed, then added another finger. He fucked you slowly, focusing mostly on spreading his fingers to hurry this up. 

You’ve never felt this full before and the stretch was burning a little, but for some sick reason, you still wanted to come. You knew you wouldn’t be able to though, not like this. 

“What do you think? You ready for my cock?” You wanted to say no, but at the same time, you just want to get it over with. “Yeah, I think you are.” He answered for you, removing his fingers then moving behind you again. He roughly flipped you over and you turned your head to the side, not wanting to look at him. 

“I’ll let you choose. I can fuck your face and get a little more lube on my cock, or I’ll just fuck your ass right now.” You glanced down at his length nervously. It was completely dry and you knew that the small amount of spit he just used wouldn’t be enough. 

“Fine.” You said quietly, making him chuckle. 

“You know that’s not good enough.” 

“Please fuck— please fuck my… my face.” You choked out as your whole face got warm. 

“With pleasure.” He manhandled you so that your head was hanging off the edge, then placed your arms on your stomach and pinned them there with one hand. “Open.” He commanded. You tentatively let your mouth drop open and he wasted no time sliding inside. “If I feel any teeth, I’ll break your jaw. Do you understand?” You shuddered, but hummed in acknowledgment, not able to speak. 

He didn’t even start slow to let you get used to it. He just started rutting against your face, the tip of his cock punching the back of your mouth with each thrust. You gagged and choked, body writhing on the bed, but his grip was unmoving. 

“I said no,” a sharp smack on your clit had you crying out, “fucking,” the second one brought tears to your eyes, “teeth.” You sobbed around his length on the third slap, your clit burning now, but what made it worse was the fact that it made you want to come even more. 

He didn’t bother keeping this up for long though. After only a few moments, his pace slowed a little. 

“This is your only warning.” He said and you furrowed your brows in confusion. On the next thrust, he remained buried in your mouth, then pushed against the resistance until he breached your throat barrier. The whimper that escaped you barely made any sound and he let out a low groan as his free hand settled on your neck, pressing on where his cock was bulging your throat. 

You were starting to panic now and with him buried this deep, his balls were resting on your nose, not letting you get any air in. You tried turning your head to the side but you could barely move. When he pulled out, you took in a huge breath and started coughing, on the verge of tears from the rough treatment. 

“Open.” You whimpered and shook your head, making him grip your throat. “Open.” He growled and you let out a choked sob, but parted your trembling lips. He didn’t wait for you to open all the way before pushing inside again. He resumed the fast pace and it was almost as if he was purposefully trying to breach your throat barrier with each thrust, that’s how forceful he was being. With how much you were coughing and sputtering, spit was escaping your lips, trailing up your face, adding to your humiliation. 

“I know...” He said softly as you thrashed in his hold. “You can take it.” You whimpered in response and tried to shake your head. His thrusts slowed to a rocking motion, going down your throat each time. Through your crying and the intrusion in your mouth, it was almost impossible to breathe and your head was starting to feel heavy from being upside down for so long. 

“I’m doing this for you, remember? I’m doing this because you wanted me to— because you begged me to.” You tried to free your arms so you could push him away but he just tightened his grip and pressed them harder into your stomach. He pushed all the way in and froze, keeping your head still against the edge of the bed. His fingers brushed over the column of your throat again, then he wrapped his hand around your neck and started stroking, stimulating his cock from the outside too. He let out a low moan, leisurely rutting his hips, but still staying buried deep. 

You were panicking even more now because it felt like you were about to pass out any second. Your lungs burned and you were practically dry heaving with how much you were gagging, but he ignored you, continuing this for a few more seconds before pulling out. Immediately after he released your arms and stepped back, you rolled over on your stomach and coughed almost violently, watching a trail of saliva fall from your lips. 

“If you throw up, I’m not paying for the extra cleaning fee.” He said, sounding almost bored. You closed your eyes as you panted, trying to catch your breath. “Do you need some water?” He sneered and you wanted to tell him to fuck off, insult him, anything… but you’re just so tired. You just want this to be over already. 

“How do you want me?” You asked quietly as you rose to a seated position. 

“Who said I was done fucking your mouth?” 

“Please, no more.” You whimpered, keeping your eyes on the floor. He stepped forward and grabbed your cheeks in one hand, making you whimper and try to flinch away. He just tightened his grip before tilting your head up to face him. 

“Did you finally break?” He cooed, so sweetly that for a second you almost didn’t realize he was mocking you. When you stayed silent, he continued. “I must say, you lasted longer than I expected.” 

“Please stop tormenting me and just do it.” You whispered, making him click his tongue and shake his head in disagreement. 

“How am I tormenting you?” He asked softly— innocently. He tilted his head slightly to emphasize the question and you tried to figure out how to put it into words. 

“Please just do it.” You decided to say instead. He pursed his lips and nodded slowly as he thought. 

“You think after I fuck your ass, we’re done.” He realized, making you nervous. “I’m sorry, honey, I didn’t mean to mislead you.” Closing your eyes, you let out a choked sob, trying to hold in the tears. “I have this room until 11 a.m. tomorrow, we have all night.” 

“Jackson, please..” You cried, feeling bile rise in your throat at the thought of what he could do in that amount of time. “I— I gave you what you wanted. Please just let me go.” You said quietly. He let out a heavy breath through his nose, then released your face. 

“I can’t do that yet.” 

“Why not?” You whimpered, bottom lip trembling. 

“Because I’m not done with you.” When you let out a broken sob, he cooed and gently cupped your cheek as he shushed you. “You know how I feel about the crying.” He said softly, but you still knew it was a warning. 

“How am I supposed to not cry right now?” You whimpered, sounding just pathetic enough to not set him off. 

“You’re a big girl, I’m sure you can figure it out.” He lightly slapped your cheek, making you flinch. “On your stomach.” You bit your quivering lip and hesitated for only a moment before obeying. 

“How about we play a little game?” He kneeled over your legs and you craned your head back so you could see him. When he reached in his pants pocket and pulled out a switchblade, you visibly jumped as it opened. “Since I couldn’t trust you to shut up before… everytime I hear a noise, you bleed.” Your eyes widened and your heart dropped into your stomach. 

“What?” You said through a breath, trying not to start hyperventilating. 

“Relax. It’ll just be a small cut. And besides, if you can resist moaning while being raped, then I won’t ever need to use this.” He waved the blade around teasingly and you frowned. When he realized you weren’t going to respond, he used his free hand to pull your ass cheeks apart, then spat on your hole. 

“Jackson— Jackson, wait,” You whimpered, reaching behind yourself to try and push him away. 

“The game starts now.” You had no reason to not believe him. So you bit your lip and buried your face in the sheets, making him reach forward and roughly yank you back up by your hair. “No cheating.” You let out a shaky breath through your nose, trying to calm down. When he let go of your hair, you kept your head up. “Good girl.” 

You took in a sharp breath at the feeling of his cock against your ass. He applied some pressure and you stiffened, waiting for the pain you knew you were about to feel. When he finally breached your hole, you screamed and tried to move up the bed, letting out a violent sob when you felt the sharp sting on your ass. It quickly turned into a deep throbbing and you let your head fall forward as you clung to the sheets, trying to ground yourself. You did your best to silence your cries, the only sounds being shaky breaths and quiet whimpers that were mostly muffled by the bed. 

“Gonna be quiet now?” You weren't sure if you were allowed to answer verbally, but you tried anyway. 

“Please, I- I can’t.”

“You can. Either voluntarily or involuntarily, but I’d rather not have to clean up a big mess and I’m sure you’d prefer to keep your tongue.” You let out a strangled whimper, your sobs intensifying. “So— We’re going to keep playing the game. I’ll only cut you four more times, after that I’ll move on to something more permanent. Understand?” 

“Jackson, please.” You whined, trying not to focus on the sharp pain in your hole and on your ass.  

“If you’re not going to answer a simple fucking question, maybe I’ll cut it out anyway.” 

“No! No- I’m sorry. I’ll try but— I really don’t think I can.” You whimpered. “I’m not just saying that. I genuinely don’t think I can do it.” You added, when he didn’t respond. 

“Fine. I’ll give you a choice.” Your stomach churned just thinking about what he would say. “Either we continue the game— four more warning cuts before I shut you up for good— or I carve my name and you don’t have to worry about staying completely silent.” There’s not a chance in hell you’ll be able to take that much pain with him cutting his entire name. You’ll probably throw up or pass out or both. But you also don’t think you’ll be able to stay silent— not with his cock splitting you open like this. 

“Tick tock.” He singsonged, dragging the tip of the knife over your ass. 

“The— the first one.” You said quietly. He let out a disappointed hum and lifted the knife off your skin. 

“Not what I would’ve picked but I guess I should honor my word.” While you waited, you took deep breaths, trying to calm yourself. “Starting now.” He immediately continued pushing in the rest of the way, only stopping when he was buried to the hilt inside you. Your eyes widened and you placed a hand over your mouth, swallowing down a whimper as you breathed heavily through your nose. 

“Atta girl. Stay nice and quiet.” He slowly pulled back, then pushed in a little faster, continuing that rhythm. Your eyes burned as you tried not to cry, but it hurt. He’s big and didn’t use lube and barely prepped you— not to mention the fact that you rarely do anal. 

“Since I’m so nice, I’m gonna give you a warning; I’m speeding up now.” You choked on a moan after the first hard thrust, then whimpered at the sharp sting on your ass, this time on your other cheek. “Stop whining. I did warn you, it’s not my fault you didn’t listen.” 

His thrusts only got harder and faster. You slipped up on a particularly brutal one and he went back to your other ass cheek— that was when the tears started falling again. You pressed your hand harder against your mouth and squeezed your eyes shut, but his movements only got rougher and you slipped up again. 

Doing your best to stay quiet, you kept repeating to yourself that you only have one more chance, but this felt impossible. How can he expect you to be completely quiet during something like this? Especially when he’s cutting you too. 

You tried to cry silently, but when a sob accidentally came out, your heart dropped. You winced at the sting of another cut, then started babbling out pleas and apologies. 

“Please— it was an accident. Please, I’m sorry.” You whimpered. He let out a heavy sigh and his hips slowed to a stop. 

“It’s okay, baby. Make all the noise you want.” 

“What?” You asked quietly, taking in a sharp breath when he pulled all the way out. He got off of the bed and you turned your head to watch him with furrowed brows. 

“Stay.” He ordered, pointing the knife at you. You obeyed and he walked over to grab your dress, then laid it down next to you on the bed. “On your back, ass on your dress.” You tentatively turned over and sat on the dress, but immediately turned back onto your stomach with a hiss of pain. 

“It hurts.” You frowned. 

“It’s gonna hurt a whole lot more if you don’t do what I say.” He raised his brows and you whined quietly, but got onto your back again. It was less painful laying down, but the pressure still hurt. “Good girl. You keep following those survival instincts and you might just make it out of this alive.” It sounded like he was joking… but you were also pretty sure that he was being completely serious. 

Moving to the foot of the bed, he grabbed your ankles and roughly pulled you down, making you cry out as the pain on your ass flared up. He quickly undressed and you tried not to stare at his body too much— you didn’t want to give him another reason to mock you. When he got on the bed again and started moving toward your head, you suddenly realized what was happening. 

“No,” You whimpered, shaking your head. 

“What happened to those instincts? I mean, seriously, who says no to the person holding them at knife point?” He chuckled. Your eyes shifted to the weapon still in his hand. 

“Please don’t.” You tried again. 

“Getting warmer.” He said teasingly. “I’ll give you a hint; drop a word, then you’ll get it.” You frowned and shook your head, biting your lip. He laughed quietly and kept moving until he was behind your head. When you tried to sit up, he blocked your path with the knife, making you stiffen, but fall back down. 

“Final warning. I’m done fucking your ass and your cunt for now— Either open your mouth or I’ll make a hole somewhere else and fuck that instead.” Your eyes widened and your breath caught in your throat. He had to be bluffing… right? “Trust me when I tell you I’ve done worse.” Okay maybe he’s not bluffing…

“Will you just— not do it like before please? I almost threw up.” You said quietly, too scared to speak any louder. 

“Why exactly should I do that? All you’ve done is make things harder for me.” 

“I- I’m sorry… I’ll behave, I promise.” He raised his brows, seemingly not believing you, making you try harder. “Please, Jackson.” 

“We’ll see. Arms above your head.” You frowned, but obeyed, and he straddled your arms, pinning them to the bed with his legs. “I feel any teeth, you’ll need stitches. Understand?” You glanced nervously between his cock and the knife. 

“Yes.” You whispered. He positioned himself over your face and you opened your mouth, waiting, trying not to think about where his cock just was. He placed it inside and you closed your lips as he slowly pushed in deeper. When he met the resistance of your throat, he stopped, then slowly pulled back, making you all but sigh in relief. He only fucked you a few more times before pushing in and staying there, the tip brushing the back of your mouth. 

“Remember what I said about teeth.” You were confused about why he said that because you were pretty sure your teeth hadn't touched him at all. 

Pain erupted through your chest and you almost thought you imagined it, but when it turned into a white hot burning sensation, you knew you hadn’t. You screamed around him and tried to move your arms out from under his legs. When that was unsuccessful, you started thrashing and he smacked your clit, making you cry out. 

“If you keep moving, I’ll have to start over.” Your chest went from a deep throbbing to the sharp pain again and you let out a broken sob, your eyes burning as they filled with tears. 

With the pain, his cock in your mouth, and the way you were hyperventilating, you felt like you were going to pass out again. You welcomed it though— you prayed you wouldn’t have to endure this any longer. 

But you didn’t. You remained conscious, your lungs burning along with your chest. You wanted to bite him— to do anything to get him to stop— but you had no reason to believe that he wouldn’t follow through on his threat. Not with the way he was so easily cutting you and ignoring your cries. 

Your sounds alternated between screams and violent sobs and after a few seconds of that, he huffed, then pushed in deeper. You choked on the sudden intrusion in your throat and he let out a low groan, continuing with whatever it was he was carving on your body. When you tried to scream, only a garbled whimper came out. 

“Be as loud as you want. No consequences this time.” You could practically hear the smirk in his voice. Now that he was fully sheathed in your mouth, his balls rested against your nose, limiting your breathing even more. It was getting harder to tell if the nausea was because of the constant pressure on your gag reflex, or from the pain. 

He finally stopped, then pulled out of your mouth not long after. You coughed at first, but quickly resumed crying. 

“God— will you shut up?” He reached out and you flinched away from him, squeezing your eyes shut. “Oh you poor thing.” He cooed, cupping your cheek. You jerked away from his touch and your sobs intensified. “You must be so scared. It’s okay, it’s over now.” He said softly, moving his hand to pet your hair. 

“That means stop crying.” His voice was significantly more harsh and you couldn’t help it when you cried even harder. “Jesus..” He muttered. You felt the bed move, then heard his footsteps, but you didn’t dare change your position. His hands suddenly wrapped around your ankles and he yanked you even farther down the bed, making a sob catch in your throat as your eyes snapped open. You stared at his blurry figure, watching him wrap your legs around his body, lining his cock up with one of your holes— you weren’t sure which one. When you looked down and saw the jagged lines, you let out a broken whimper that turned into a mewl when he pushed inside your cunt. 

“I know… But don’t you just look so much prettier branded with my initials?” Squeezing your eyes shut, you continued crying, feeling too overwhelmed now that you felt full. “I couldn’t cut too deep because of the mess, but I think I cut deep enough to leave a scar.” He said proudly and a strangled sob left you, making him chuckle. “You may be crying but we both know you like that. Why else would your cunt have squeezed my cock so hard?” 

You shook your head with a whimper. Sure you’ve read about this kind of stuff and fantasized about it, but you never wanted it to actually happen. You never wanted any of this to actually happen. Maybe this was karma for reading so many fucked up books— the universe’s way of punishing you for liking it. 

He started fucking you, bringing you out of your thoughts. And the overwhelming pain was starting to compete with the overwhelming pleasure. 

“I know I said I’d keep my word, but technically I never said what I’d do after our little game. Plus, you should probably be branded anyway if you’re going to be breeding stock for sale, right?” You don’t know how he was able to say something like that so casually. 

“No..” You whimpered, shaking your head. 

“No? Why not?” He asked innocently, tilting his head a little. His thrusts never faltered through your conversation though. 

“Please.” You whined, feeling another wave of tears approach. “Please— I‘m sorry…” 

“But you’d look so pretty with your belly nice and full.” 

“Please, Jackson.” You cried. 

“Shh. Don’t talk back.” He presented the knife that you didn’t realize was still in his hand and your stomach dropped as the throbbing in your chest flared up at the reminder of what just happened. “Can’t believe you’re this scared of a tiny little knife.” Technically you’re scared of the knife in his hands… you didn’t say that though. 

He moved the blade down to trail the tip over your inner thigh, making you tense up. He let out a low groan as his hips stuttered for just a moment before he resumed the steady pace. 

“I’d put the knife down and focus on fucking you, but your cunt gets so tight when I do this.” He moved to your other thigh and did the same thing, lightly dragging it up the soft skin, leaving a pink line behind. “You can’t really blame me can you?” He chuckled. You stayed perfectly still, not wanting to be cut again. You were barely even able to focus on his words. 

“But if you really hate it so much, I guess I can think of another way to get your pathetic little pussy to squeeze my cock.” He removed the knife and set it on the bed before grabbing your hips to help control his thrusts. “Rub your clit.” He ordered. You shook your head, not wanting to be forced to do something that would actually help you enjoy this. 

“Seriously?” He scoffed a laugh. “Your options are that or the knife and you’re saying no?” He asked in disbelief, making you frown. Your gaze shifted to the knife on the bed next to you and you swallowed down a whimper as you slowly reached your hand between your legs. “There you go.” He cooed when your fingers met your clit. “I doubt I need to tell you what will happen if I’m not satisfied with your effort?” 

“No…” You muttered, rubbing your clit harder and faster because of his warning. 

“Good girl. Make that pussy milk my fucking cock.” He groaned and you flushed at the vulgarity of his words as thrusts sped up, rapidly pounding your hole. Your tits were moving embarrassingly, but that feeling wasn’t as prominent as the pain on your chest when the skin stretched with each thrust. 

Despite your revulsion for him and his current actions, you wanted to get close. You wanted your brain to stop focusing on all of the mental and physical pain and just let you forget— if only for a few seconds. You just needed a break— from crying and screaming and the aching and throbbing, and from him. 

“You’re awfully quiet.” He noticed. 

“I thought you wanted me to stop crying.” Your voice was raspier than you’d ever heard it. Based on his expression though, your tone clearly didn’t sound the way you meant it to; small and obedient. 

“What’d I say about talking back, huh?”

“I- I’m sorry. I didn’t mean for it to come out like that. I just… wanted to make sure that I was still doing what you wanted.” You said quietly, fear blooming in your chest once again. 

“That would’ve been a good save if you didn’t add on the obvious lie.” 

“I wasn’t— I wasn’t lying…” You whimpered, making him scoff. 

“I don’t believe you but I’m close enough that I don’t care right now.” You all but breathed a sigh of relief. “Faster.” He ordered, so you sped up your fingers, your breath hitching at the slightly more intense pleasure. The cuts on your ass and chest have dulled now, mostly overshadowed by his cock ramming into you and your fingers stimulating your clit. You bit your lip to try and stifle your moans, but there was no chance— you’re too tired to put all of your energy into something as pointless as that. 

Even though your body was begging for an orgasm, your mind couldn’t let yourself do that, not after what he just did to you. But his cock was hitting that perfect spot inside of you that made your eyes roll back into your head and your fingers were working even harder, voluntarily. You were solely relying on him coming before you had a chance to, but with how rapidly you were approaching the edge, you weren’t sure that’d happen. 

“Look at you… Are you close?” He cooed and you squeezed your eyes shut, shaking your head. “No? It seems like you are.” He said teasingly. 

“Fuck— please just come.” You choked out, gripping the sheets with your free hand as your chest heaved. 

“Poor thing. You can’t hold it, can you?” His voice was still laced with the patronizing, sweet tone. You whimpered and kept your eyes squeezed shut, trying not to give in to the pleasure. “Maybe I should finally give you what you want.” 

“No.” You said quickly, back arching a little as a low moan escaped you. 

“But you were crying and begging for it earlier. What changed, hm?” You let out a choked sob and turned your head to the side even though your eyes were already closed. “You worried it'll make you have to admit to yourself that you liked it? That you liked me raping your ass and carving my initials into you?” 

“Stop,” You whimpered. 

“No. You’re going to come and if you stop rubbing your clit, I’ll cut off those fingers. Understand?” 

“Jackson…” You sobbed out, unable to say anything else. 

“Do you understand?” He repeated, his tone making you shiver. 

“Y-yes.” You whispered. His pace became even faster and harder somehow, almost punching the breath out of you with each thrust. When you could feel yourself on the edge, you let out a choked sob, trying— uselessly— to bring yourself back down. 

“I think you need a reminder of what made you come.” He said suddenly. Your moan cut off into a cry when he ran two fingers over his initials and you opened your eyes just in time to see him shove them in your mouth. You gagged at the coppery taste, then again when he forced them to the back of your mouth, purposefully pushing down on your tongue to make you gag. “Suck.” He ordered. You did your best to shake your head with the intrusion in your mouth, letting out a garbled whimper when you could barely move. “Now.” He forced them in impossibly deeper, making you choke and bring your hand up to claw at his arm. 

“Fine.” He removed his fingers and you gasped in a breath, trying not to throw up at the taste of your own blood lingering on your tongue. You let out a broken sob when he swiped his fingers over the wound again, this time using more pressure and staying there longer. When he finally removed them, he immediately brought his hand up to wipe across your lips and cheek. You cringed at the mixture of your own saliva and blood, and kept your lips tightly sealed so you couldn’t taste any. 

He moved his hand to your neck, squeezing hard enough to make you choke and gasp for air. Leaning down over you with a dark look in his eyes, he spat on your already messy face, and you let out a choked moan, making him push down on your windpipe to cut off the sound. 

The knot of arousal in your stomach finally snapped and if he wasn’t preventing you from making any noise, your sounds would’ve been almost anguished moans. Instead, all you could let out was a quiet wheeze. Because of all of the build up, your orgasm hit you hard, making your body shake as your crying picked up again. 

Even after you finished, he kept his hand firmly on your throat, desperately bucking his hips into you, chasing his own orgasm now. Your hand slowed to a stop but you were too tired to move it anywhere else, so it remained trapped between your bodies. Just as your eyes started growing heavy and your head felt light and dizzy, he buried himself to the hilt with a low groan, putting his face in the crook of your neck. You could faintly hear his moans and feel hot come filling you up, but it was hard to focus on anything other than your inability to breathe and the feeling of losing consciousness. 

He suddenly loosened his grip and you wheezed in a breath, coughing and trying to gasp in air as your head rushed with the sudden blood flow. He panted for a moment, then leaned back up and pulled out, making you hiss because of how sensitive you were. 

Hour three

Taglist (join here)

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[quinnmaddie]

The Witch and The Winter Soldier: prologue

Trigger warning: talks of rape and abuse.

This is a new story I’m starting about Bucky! Tell me if it’s even worth pursuing!

You were a friend of Natasha's, although she was older, you guys grew up together in the Red Room. You guys lost touch after you both escaped. You had escaped right before your graduation ceremony, Natasha told you what would happen and to leave before it was your turn, so you did. After years of abuse and torture, you wanted revenge on Dreykov, so when you heard talks of an experiment on humans for special abilities in Sokovia, you jumped at the opportunity. Things didn’t go according to plan. Only three people survived the experiment, you and the twins. Wanda and you both have the same abilities while her brother was a speedster. Eventually, the Avengers busted Hydra and that’s where you reunited with Natasha. At first you didn’t know if you could trust her, but she and The Avengers were able to help you with controlling your powers. You didn’t know if you wanted to be apart of The Avenegers, but when The Accords were set in place, you knew you didn’t want to be the villain anymore so you signed them. But when Steve needed help in Germany, you waisted no time in going to help him, even if that meant going against Natasha. That’s where you met Bucky for the first time.

Much wasn’t said because you were getting ready for a fight. But when things went to shit and you got arrested, you promised to retire unless the world was ending. Steve helped Wanda, Sam, and you to escape. You needed a place to lay low. Sam offered you to stay with his sister in Louisiana. After a while, Tony found you, bought you a house down there and gave you enough money to be “comfortable.” He has visited a couple of times, checking to make sure you were okay and still in control of your powers. He had given you handcuffs that helped dampen your powers if you ever felt like you couldn’t control yourself. Then, he stopped visiting. You had met a boy while staying there, his name is Nick.

You trusted Nick with your life, you even thought he was the love of your life. Told him how you grew up, the person you were raised to be. An assassin. He loved every flaw, but then things started to change. When Steve had called saying that he needed you in New York and that there was an attack of the city, Nick got mad. Accusing you that what was on the news wasn’t real, you were leaving him to go see another man. You promised him it wasn’t like that, YOU weren’t like that. So you left to New York then to Wakanda to help save the world. The Avengers lost this war. In ways you couldn’t describe. Everyone started to disappear. The only thought on your mind was Nick. When you could, you rushed back home to Louisiana to find him. You were so happy to see he was still there, that he didn’t disappear. For the next fiver years, your life was torture. Nick beat you endlessly and made it seem like everything was your fault. Then he would be apologizing saying he loved you and to forgive him. You probably wondering why I didn’t defend myself, you’re damn well sure you could’ve taken him down. But I couldn’t. Everyone you had loved disappeared, sure you could’ve went and seen Steve and Natasha but they were in New York, and my home was Louisiana. He was all you had and you thought this is what you deserved for your past. Then you got another call from Steve. Saying we could fix everything, bring everyone back. That was Nick's breaking point. We tried to force me to stay, not to leave him. That you didn’t need to help bring everyone back because all you needed was him. He was so rough, beating you and holding you down. That’s when he found the handcuffs Tony had made you. He used them on you so you wouldn’t fight back, then he raped you. You laid still on the bed after he was done, finding a pin to help get you out of these cuffs. When you broke free, you packed a bag and escaped. The Avengers brought everyone back but at what cost? You lost Natasha, another war was fought, Tony died.

After Tony’s funeral, you talked to Steve and told him what had happened. He helped you put him away, told you he was proud of you. Weeks had passed when you noticed you weren’t feeling good. Constantly feeling tired and nauseous. You could eat but everything just came right back up. That’s when you found out you were pregnant. Sam's sister helped you with everything. Even offered to stay at your house when the baby arrived. You have a beautiful baby boy. He’s your pride and joy. As a thanks to Sarah for helping you out with Jackson, you offered to babysit her boys while she was at work. Then Sam and Bucky came to town.

[michanvalentine]

Today I’m comparing two characters from completely different works: Astarion from Baldur’s Gate 3 and Angel Dust from Hazbin Hotel. But let’s start from the beginning—otherwise, it wouldn’t be me; I need to be long-winded!

The images are not mine but belong to their respective authors.

If there's one thing I've realized, it's that I need to change friends—because my best friends clearly don't love me and keep recommending things to watch or play that inevitably end up consuming me. Anyway. Lately I watched the Hazbin Hotel series—of course, late as usual, because I must be living up the ass of a constipated ostrich, never coming out, totally unaware of what's going on in the world… or maybe I wish that were the case. The truth is, real life eats up all my time and my responsibilities are always looming over me. I just want to spend more time on my PC, my PlayStation, and on Netflix! Bwaaaaaaaahhh!!!

Okay, I could throw a tantrum and whine forever, but I'm getting off track. I discovered this series and now I’m listening to its songs on loop.

When I started watching it, I knew nothing. I wasn’t expecting the musical numbers, or the jokes to be that crude, or that I’d end up laughing like an idiot—or loving almost every character that much. Of course, I didn’t expect some of the characters—though not all—to be anthropomorphic animals with such an appealing art style, nor did I expect a series that looks comedic on the surface to tackle heavy themes like rape and abuse. So, after several episodes of just smirking, I’d end up crying… and wanting to kill Valentino’s character. Angel Dust is both a self-imposed and inevitable tragedy, to such a degree it breaks my heart. I love him for exactly who he is.

As Husk would say, he’s a hopeless loser—but honestly, that’s perfectly fine by me.

The thing is, while I was watching Angel’s suffering (and I had no prior information about him beyond the Prime series and the two videos I only found afterward on YouTube—namely, the self-produced pilot by the creator and the Addicted video), I couldn’t help but notice all the elements that make this character so similar to Astarion from Baldur’s Gate.

They’re both queer men. They are both proud of their appearance. They both have a wicked master who literally owns them. They’re both treated like objects and sexually exploited. They both wear a mask of seduction and constantly flirt, flaunting their hypersexuality. They’re both physically and psychologically abused by their tormentors.

In Astarion’s case, it’s the magical compulsion of his vampire lord that breaks his will; for Angel, it’s drugs and the intoxicating fumes of his producer and infernal Overlord.

Both characters are looked down upon and stripped of their credibility as victims. One is a vampire spawn, a monster who deserves nothing but a stake through the heart. The other is a whore and a junkie—he must like it, or he was asking for it.

Both are disillusioned—with the world, with themselves—and hide their vulnerability behind smiles and jokes, concealing how deeply broken they truly are. Both are desperately searching for freedom, for identity… at least until they meet the right people and catch a glimpse of hope.

And funnily enough, they also share the way their relationship with the main character begins: for both of them, it starts as a matter of convenience—and only later does it grow into something real.

What probably sets them apart the most is their level of resignation. Astarion is decidedly more defiant and determined in pursuing his freedom, even at the cost of becoming the tyrant himself—the one who holds the power to bend others to his will. Angel, on the other hand, is more overwhelmed—by himself, by the drugs, by Valentino. But that’s precisely what makes it beautiful: because even though both believe redemption is impossible (“I can’t be what you see in me,” says Astarion; “You’re never gonna redeem a demon like me,” says Angel), deep inside them, hope still burns. And there’s so much more strength and virtue than anyone would ever imagine. Certainly more than those who look down on them or those who abuse them without mercy.

Honestly, I really wasn’t expecting such a hard-hitting and raw blow like the fourth episode of Hazbin Hotel. The scene where Valentino beats Angel and threatens him is truly intense. And the video with the song Poison… a masterpiece. The song and the music guide you, scene after scene, sliding down just like poison, while the images of fiction—the film reel—blend and blur with the more painful ones of real violence: raw, terrible, and all too real.

It shows how Angel has become trapped in it, almost addicted. How he’s become the actor of his own tragedy.

At this point, I encourage anyone who hasn’t played Baldur’s Gate 3 to give it a try—and those who haven’t seen Hazbin Hotel to go check out the series. Lol. I’m doing exactly what I blame my friends for: recommending new obsessions! Go forth and dive into media!

Below I’m leaving the video for Poison, because I really like the song.

⚠️ CONTENT WARNING: There are depictions of sexual assault and violence. Please be advised and prepare yourself before watching.

[cravingpepsimax]

Whatcha angry abt on stancest, Max?

ok. my evil dark confession is this: i do not care for a lot of dark!stancest content.

9/10 times it feels ridiculously out of character, which is bizarre because stan and ford both have traits that could easily turn them villainous.

stan’s got unrelenting devotion towards ford, protecting him pretty much whenever he can, working for 30 fucking years to bring him back. stan’s also got a rich and vibrant criminal past — of course, being a criminal doesn’t make you a bad person, but when you’re surrounded by criminals for decades, you’re gonna get a bit desensitized to violence.

ford, on the other hand, has like. the Perfect abuser mentality of “everything i do is right bc i am the main character”. ford will do stupid, bad things, things he’d rightfully call others on — and he won’t even realize he’s doing anything bad. bc he justifies it to himself. sure, if someone ELSE did this, it might be bad, but ford’s got reasons xyz, so it’s fine and good.

yet. in spite of this. a massive amt of dark!stancest content does not tap into any of these traits in any meaningful way!

half the time it’s literally just. stan or ford (mostly ford) doing horrible fucked up shit to the other for seemingly no reason other than they want to do it. that’s a massive wasted opportunity and also not in character??? stan and ford rarely do Big Important Things just cuz they’re Like That. ford justifies it, stan gets caught up in his emotions, but it’s hardly their default!

i also feel like a lot of dark!stancest stuff puts in noncon w 0 consideration to the characters��� mentalities. neither ford nor stan are the kind of person to just. like. rape someone out of anger. or because they’re really horny. like — i know i mentioned stan getting caught up in his emotions, but stan’s a very self-sacrificing person. he’s not gonna fuckin’ molest ford in the night to deal w his brocon feelings he’s gonna sadly masturbate

more commonly, tho, ford’s the rapist — and that’s where this really bugs me. because there is a REALLY OBVIOUS WAY RAPIST!FORD WOULD WORK. if you’re gonna write rapist!ford, you’re gonna have have justify it to himself:

they either deserve it (and, no, this isn’t just “god i’m mad at my brother i have to rape him” — it has to be something extremely serious! i remember seeing someone mention filbrick molesting ford, and ford raping stan later on as a sort of “oh, you think YOU’VE had it bad?”. it’s not perfect — but it’s still better than just “grr angry”) or they secretly want it so it isn’t actually rape.

and it bothers me so much bc it often ends up feeling like noncon is just added to make it Darker and Edgier and Sexier with 0 actual care given to the characters. you can make shit darker and edgier if you want! but it has to FIT. it has to WORK. you can’t just completely derail the characters???

tl;dr: a lot of dark!stancest stuff completely ignores the characters’ actual personalities and ways of thinking for Dark Edgy Stuff and it is annoyinggg like in theory i LOVE dark!stancest but in practice i’m stuck going “he would NOT fucking do that”

[sserrafeim]

I need most of the Vanserra family stans to understand that Beron is abusing his wife and their sons doing nothing about it (except Eris maybe). It doesn’t make Beron cool, hot, a true man or whatever bullshit you’re saying and it sure as hell doesn’t make Beron and LoA a hot couple, couple goals or a power couple. For fuck’s sake, people. We give a lot of shit to men (and rightfully so) for thinking only with their dicks and I think it’s time we start doing that to women who think only with their kitties too (because there’s no other reason I can think of that you’d excuse someone beating their wife other than him being potentially hot or their hot sons thinking it’s okay).

This is my biggest problem with the acotar fandom. It’s okay to like morally grey/corrupt characters or straight up assholes but for fuck’s sake do not excuse their actions, and definitely don’t play the victim when someone calls you out for excusing their actions.

It’s totally okay to be like “I like this character bc he’s hot but I acknowledge that he’s also a super big asshole.” It doesn’t mean you condone their actions and it definitely doesn’t mean that you are as bad as them for simply liking them. They’re fictional characters, your morals have nothing to do with them. As long as you’re not like “I like this hot character and even though he beats his wife and has no redeeming qualities in canon, he’s actually right bc how can a hot man be wrong? His wife totally deserves it.”

This isn’t just about Vanserra family stans but also Tamlin’s, Amarantha’s etc. it’s actually concerning that you will excuse abuse and rape (in this situation) just because you don’t like the main characters of the series you have dedicated an internet blog and your time to. I’m not surprised that the people I’m talking about usually are big defenders of all these characters I mentioned.

[scarabsinthestardust]

Right on Time // Ch. 8

MASTERLIST

word count: 3700+

I am going straight to hell.

***THIS STORY CONTAINS GRAPHIC DEPICTIONS OF DOMESTIC VIOLENCE AND PHYSICAL ABUSE THAT MAY BE TRIGGERING FOR SOME.

PLEASE READ - The first section, all in italics and marked with asterisks, contains the events of what occurred between Josh and Finn. It is violent and just overall awful. If you're not comfortable reading this particular scene, skip it! You can still proceed with the story without knowing all the gross details. There is a segment that while it does NOT include rape or direct sexual abuse, it could still be considered a form of sexual assault and can be very triggering. With that being said, proceed with caution and at your own risk.

WARNINGS: language; domestic violence; physical abuse; blood; broken bones; a badly written fight scene; anxiety; fear; depression; fear of dying; mentions of alcohol & drug abuse; toxic possessive behavior; nightmares; the aforementioned scene in the first part that may toe the line into sexual assault (at best it's just creepy and disgusting); let me know if I missed anything

***

The night was quiet and peaceful, no noise permeating the air except for Josh’s voice, humming along to the low music coming through the record player. He sat on the floor at the coffee table, doodling and writing out some lyrics for a new song they were working on.

A knock sounded at the front door. He checked the time, confused as to who would be coming by this time of night. Cairo was working, and none of his brothers had tried to call or text him.

He opened the front door to the sight of an all too familiar face. The man on the other side stood with his right arm extended to steady himself on the door frame. His eyes were glazed over, seemingly unable to focus on much of anything.

Josh let out an annoyed sigh. “Finn, what are you doing here?”

“I just wanna talk,” the other man slurred, a strong smell of alcohol spilling from his breath.

Josh shook his head. “I don’t think that’s a good idea right now.”

“Please, let me just… just for a minute.”

“I said no.” Josh stood resolute in his decision for a moment, but wavered when he noticed Finn’s eyes, pupils dilated, blown up so much that he could barely see the irises. “Are you… high?”

Finn laughed, a very unsettling kind of sound. “What’s it fuckin’ matter to you?” Then almost immediately, his features softened. “I’m sorry, I… can I just have some water? Please?”

Josh’s resolve started to crumble. It was a simple enough request, and he didn’t have the heart to turn his back on him. He sighed in defeat. “Fine, but you’re not staying.”

Finn nodded and followed him inside, silently taking a seat on the couch. Josh handed him a glass of water, but didn’t sit with him. He kept his distance, arms crossed as if he was guarding himself. He was already wondering if he’d made a mistake by letting him inside. When Finn started to speak, Josh began to prepare himself for the inevitable begging, and Finn’s attempts at invoking pity from him.

“I miss you,” he whispered. “I miss us. I—”

“Stop it,” Josh demanded. “Just stop. Please, Finn. You can’t keep doing this. You need to move on.”

“I don’t know how to do this without you. I don’t even know who I am without you. I love you—”

“No. You don’t get to say that. I don’t know what I need to do to convince you that we’re over. There is no more ‘us,’ no more second chances. I’ve moved on, so you need to do the same.”

Finn let out another deranged laugh, one that sent chills down Josh’s spine. It was like Josh didn’t even know him anymore; he was a complete stranger, staring Josh down with cold, darkened eyes. “You don’t have to lie to me, baby.”

Josh scoffed. “What? I’m not… Finn, I’m in a relationship. I found this amazing guy, somebody who actually treats me like I deserve, someone who doesn’t get drunk and push me or punch me in the face when he’s angry!” Josh was fuming. How the hell could Finn think, after everything that they’d been through, that there was any chance of taking him back? It was unbelievable, and Josh decided he was done walking on eggshells to spare Finn’s feelings. “He’s a good person. I love him, and I want to build a life with him, but I can’t do that if you won’t fucking let go.”

Finn sat silently, eyes boring into the other man, unblinking. It was like a heavy darkness had settled over him, familiar to Josh, yet unrecognizable at the same time. His nostrils flared and his hand gripped the glass of water tightly, before suddenly standing and throwing the glass. It shattered against the wall, barely missing Josh, as the shards fell to the floor.

“What the fuck?!” Josh jumped back to avoid stepping on the glass with his bare feet. “Alright, we’re done. Get the fuck out, Finn!”

The taller man lunged forward and put all his strength into swinging a balled fist towards Josh, who wasn’t quite quick enough to dodge it. Josh felt his nose break with the initial impact and blood filled his mouth. He didn’t know if it was coming from his lip, the inside of his cheek, or if a tooth was knocked loose. He spit blood out and his eyes were filling with tears from the pain and sheer shock of the blow. He didn’t have an opportunity to hardly register what had happened before Finn was on him again, grabbing him by the shirt and slamming him up against the wall.

Of course, Josh attempted to push his attacker off of him, tried to exchange some defensive blows of his own, but Finn was bigger and so much stronger.

“When will you understand that you can’t just walk away from me?”

“Finn, stop,” Josh choked out. “This isn’t you. You’re better than this.” He reached a tentative hand up and touched Finn’s cheek. He reminded himself that these bouts of violence always came in spurts; all he had to do was pull Finn back from that dark place, and he was confident he’d retreat. But something about this time was different, and Josh didn’t really know how to get through to this person anymore.

Finn pulled Josh closer to him before slamming him back into the wall, knocking the air from his lungs. He then grabbed the hand that was trying to touch his face and squeezed with an almost inhuman strength. Josh screamed, tears freely flowing now, as an audible crack rang out, a bone (or maybe more than one) in his hand breaking. He fell forward, gripping the injured limb close to his chest as Finn took a step back. Josh begged for him to stop, but another sudden blow to the side of his face knocked him further to the floor. His ears were ringing, and black spots clouded his vision, dizziness making it impossible to stand and nausea bubbling in his gut, threatening to make him vomit.

He was finding it harder and harder to keep track of the other man, until he felt Finn shove him down, face first into the carpet, pieces of broken glass cutting through the skin of his abdomen and arms. Another punch, landing on his side this time. Finn straddled his hips, ignoring the stray piece of glass that cut into his own knee. He leaned forward, his hot breath ghosting Josh’s ear, and ran a hand along the other’s neck, disgustingly slow. “I forgive you, Josh. I’m sorry it has to be this way, but how else am I going to teach you to stop acting like such a fucking whore? How else am I going to teach you that you belong to me?”

Josh couldn’t really comprehend the other’s words, his brain fogged with pain. And fear. But he squirmed and fought when Finn kissed his neck, then his shoulder. He grabbed the collar of Josh’s thin t-shirt and yanked it down, ripping the fabric. “You’re mine, Josh. You always will be. I’m not ever gonna let you go.” Josh tried again, with all that he had, to push himself against the other man and to free himself from his grasp, but it was like trying to push down a brick wall. Finn planted another kiss, just below his shoulder, before biting into the exposed flesh, hard enough to tear skin and draw blood. He almost seemed to get off on the taste of it, grinning against the skin as Josh cried out from the sharp pain.

He stood, pacing the living room and rambling about how things needed to be this way, that he had to do it. Josh used all the energy he could muster to pull himself to his knees. He made an attempt to reach for his cell phone, sitting on the glass-top coffee table. But Finn wasn’t quite distracted enough. He practically growled, too much like a wild animal, kicking Josh in his ribcage before grabbing the cell phone. Josh barely heard the sound of his phone being crushed against some hard surface.

Josh was forced to curl in on himself when he received a few more hard kicks to the ribs. He sobbed and begged to be let go, for whatever sliver of the man he had fallen in love with all that time ago to wake up and stop this. He tried to pull himself away but made the mistake of putting weight on his broken hand and crumbled as the pain shot up his arm like a lightning bolt.

Everything else happened so fast. Finn forced him onto his back, straddling him again. He tugged Josh’s hair to force him to face his attacker, his abuser, and then wrapped his hands tightly around Josh’s throat.

Josh grabbed at the other man’s wrists, scratching at the skin, trying to claw his way to freedom. And survival. So many different thoughts raced through his head – his brothers, his mom, Cairo. For a fleeting moment, he mourned the loss of the future he may never get to live, the family he might never get to create. Death. It was the last thing that crossed his mind before his vision faded to black from the lack of oxygen and he slipped into unconsciousness.

What Josh didn’t witness, however, was the switch that flipped inside Finn. He blinked rapidly and his heart raced as the world spun around him. It was as if something clicked, like a disconnected wire reattaching to its power source. He released Josh’s neck and stumbled backwards, backing against the opposite wall and sinking to the floor. He held his shaking hands in front of him, spattered with blood. He panted, unable to catch his breath, and every muscle in his body shuddered. He stared at Josh, lying on the floor, face swollen and bloody. “What did I do? What the fuck did I do?” He started to crawl towards him but couldn’t find the courage. He tried to watch for signs of life; did his chest move, did he take a breath? Finn couldn’t be sure.

He didn’t know how much time had passed while he sat against the wall, hugging his knees to his chest. He expected himself to cry, to collapse and sob at the reality of what he’d done, and he didn’t understand why he couldn’t make the tears come.

Finn finally drew a deep breath and made a single decision. This needed to end. He let things go too far, and it all needed to end.

He pulled his own phone from his pocket, thankful it was still in one piece. His hands trembled as he dialed the three numbers.

“9-1-1, what’s your emergency?”

“I think I killed him.”

***

~

I was already awake when Josh started whimpering in his sleep. His limbs jerked like he was trying to free himself from some invisible restraints. His breaths quickened and his cries got louder. It wasn’t his first nightmare, and I’d gotten better at soothing him without fully waking him up or sending him further into panic. I gently wrapped my arm around him, careful not to restrain his arms as it only caused him to feel more trapped. I talked to him in a consistent string of hushed whispers, constant reminders that I’m here, it’s just a nightmare, and he’s safe now. He’d eventually settle down, his breaths evening out. He never wanted to talk about them when he was awake, though.

It was a long and slow road to recovery, but I felt like he was finally beginning to make the journey. He started spending less time holed up in the bedroom, being more inclined to sit on the couch and watch a movie. He still wasn’t very talkative, but his willingness to spend time with his brother, albeit quietly, was a step in the right direction. Having his niece with him seemed to be a big help, too, and I couldn’t have been happier when he smiled at her, the first genuine smile I’d seen in what seemed like an eternity.

As was expected, though, the trauma he’d experienced was clear and loud. You could see the remnants of it when it got too quiet, or when someone’s phone went off. Jake had gotten him a new phone, but Josh still refused to turn it on. He was scared to even leave the house. He had mentioned wanting to go back to my place and give Jake and his family their house back, but it was obvious he wasn’t ready. Personally, I didn’t want him left alone when I returned to work. My worries only solidified one evening when an Amazon delivery driver rang the doorbell as they dropped off a package. Josh jolted at the sound, breathing heavily as he looked around frantically, much like a prey animal searching for the predator it can smell nearby.

“It’s okay, it’s just Amazon,” said Jake. But when he moved to open the door, Josh curled up tighter into himself and I heard his breath catch in his throat.

“Jake, wait. Don’t. It could be—”

Kya, Jake’s wife, stepped in then. She showed Josh her phone, where she’d pulled up the live feed of their front door camera. “Look, it’s just a package. It’s okay.” She was so calm and patient with him, never sounding annoyed or condescending when she spoke to him.

“But what if—”

“Josh, look at me, sweetheart. He’s not here.” I moved so I was directly in front of him, making him focus on me instead of the perceived threat behind the door. “Just watch me.” He was slightly distracted now, just barely enough for Jake to open the door and retrieve the delivery. Josh’s nostrils flared and his eyes darted back and forth in panic, but the door was closed and locked again soon enough, and he was able to start calming himself down. “You’re okay, baby. You’re safe.”

~

Some days were better than others. On the good days, I might be able to coax a small smile out of him, or he’d let a tiny laugh escape at some funny scene in a movie. He’d spend more time awake, and as soon as his damaged throat allowed him to, he started eating regularly.

While his body was healing, little by little, he still had a long way to go. He was adamant on doing things by himself (and I was grateful his stubbornness hadn’t wilted away), but he’d ask me for help if he needed it. Sometimes, it was something as simple as a bit of reassurance that I wasn’t going to leave him alone.

He asked me more than once to join him in the shower, and while those times were intimate, they weren’t sexual. Sex was off the table for a while, at least until he was physically healed enough to handle it. On an emotional, psychological level though, he wouldn’t be ready for a while. I wasn’t bothered by it; as long as he let me be close to him, to hold him and take care of him, I was content. It pained me, however, when I noticed how self-conscious and acutely aware he was of the bite mark left on his shoulder. He would have moments where he’d seem to relax, but at the smallest reminder of it, he would tense up and turn so it was out of view, or rush to cover it up.

“You must hate to look at it,” he mumbled.

“I hate that it happened to you, but you don’t have to hide it from me. You don’t have to hide any part of you from me.” He let me pull him close and I stroked his hair, still damp from the shower.

“I think… it’s what it symbolizes—”

“Symbolizes to who? Because I don’t give a flying fuck what it means to him. To me, it just means that he tried… tried to take you, and you survived, because you’re stronger than him, and he’s a fucking coward.”

I was surprised when I felt him smile against my skin. And later on, while he leaned into my side, definitely not paying attention to whatever was on the TV, he began tracing the scar on my hand with his fingertips. “I guess we match now, huh?”

I couldn’t help but laugh at the ridiculousness of the statement, and he shot me his own amused look. What an odd thing to bond over, but if it helped soothe his own worries, I’d take it.

~

Josh’s brothers had been taking turns bringing items over from his house. In an attempt to lighten the mood, Sam joked, “I mean, you’re basically moved in at this point.” Josh just shrugged and muttered an apology to Jake, who promptly told him to shut up and said, probably for the hundredth time, that he was more than welcome to stay as long as he needed to. Jake would have chosen to be homeless rather than turn his brother out.

“I just don’t think I can go back there,” he told me when we were alone. “I feel like a freeloader, but when I think about going back… all I can think about is what he did.”

“No one said you have to go back.”

“But I can’t avoid it forever,” he retorted. “It feels so stupid, being afraid of a house. It’s not like it’s haunted.”

“It’s not stupid to not want to go back to a place where something terrible happened to you. And ghosts come in many forms.”

He raised an eyebrow at me. “That was fuckin’ deep.” He surprised me again with another smile.

“I try,” I shrugged, returning a small grin.

He leaned forward and kissed me, very softly. “I had a thought. It might be… too much, or… I don’t know. Just hear me out.”

I rubbed my hand on his knee as his nervousness started to grow and waited patiently for him to continue.

“I’m not ready to go back to my house. I don’t know if I’ll ever be ready to stay there again, at least, not alone. I want to move on from all this…” He shook his head, as if trying to shake away some of the memories that were inching their way into his head. “Anyways. Your lease is up in a bit, right? So, what if… what if we got a house together? Clean slate and all.”

“Joshua Michael Kiszka, are you asking me to move in with you?”

He allowed a small bit of anxiety to rise to the surface before he put his foot down, so to speak, and smothered it. “I… I mean, if you… yes.” He fiddled with the sleeve of his sweater as he watched me, waiting for an answer. I didn’t need the time to think about it; I already knew what I wanted, and if he was ready to take that step, then I was, too.

“I’d have to sell mine, obviously. I just thought maybe we could pick something out together. But I understand if you’re not—”

“Yes,” I cut him off. “Yeah, let’s do it.”

He gave me one of the brightest smiles, the kind that made me realize I would have dropped everything and moved across the world if he wanted to. His resilience was astounding, one of the many reasons I fell in love with him in the first place, and I was anxiously waiting for the day when I’d get to hear his pure, unfiltered laughter again, his happiness unhindered by fear and pain. And he was excited about the prospect of this new milestone, not only for our relationship, but also to give him something else to look forward to, some added support as he maneuvered his way through the healing process.

But, as we all do, he’d have bad days, too, days when the stockpile of abuse, violence, and trauma would push itself to the front of his mind and push him to the edge. He would have nightmares more frequently, much more intensely. This fed into an inability to sleep, and he’d suffer from nausea and headaches from the sheer exhaustion. He would be bogged down by fear, stuck in a constant state of panic where the smallest things set him off.

I’m not sure what exactly triggered this particular episode; some noisy pre-teens walking the street past curfew, or maybe the wind brushed a tree branch against the window. I found him backed into a corner in the bathroom, gripped onto a kitchen knife that he held in front of him. I didn’t approach him right away, choosing to talk him down instead. Not that I believed he would intentionally hurt me, but people do a lot of strange things out of fear. I needed to make sure that he wouldn’t accidentally lash out in his panicked state. Thankfully, it wasn’t difficult to bring his focus to me, and I was able to convince him to hand me the knife without any problems.

“I’m sorry,” he said as I put the knife down on the counter before gathering him up in my arms. “I just got scared. I don’t… I don’t know what’s wrong with me.”

“There’s nothing wrong with you, baby.” He was traumatized, that much was obvious, and he would undoubtedly need help coping with that trauma. But it wouldn’t be a quick fix by any means.

He cried a lot that night, and I couldn’t do anything except hold him. It was like he’d tried to push all the memories, all the bad stuff, into the corners of his mind so he could avoid them, but if he stared into those corners too long, he would slip into a seemingly endless spiral. These times were the worst, and seeing him fall to the bottom of this pit and not being able to stop it felt like someone was twisting a knife into my gut. And the feeling only worsened when he asked me a question I didn’t know how to answer.

I had to strain to hear him between his broken sobs and the fact that he’d buried his head in my chest, but it broke my fucking heart to hear him say it.

“Why couldn’t I have met you first?”

///

TAGLIST Let me know if you want to be added

@hollyco @fleetingjake @musicislove3389 @hailthegodsong @josh-iamyour-mama @katuschka @lilbitx @gvfstuddedmajesty @joshylanefleet

[wangxianficfinder]

Fic Finder

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1. In search of another fic! This time I'm looking for a fic where wwx was taken in by lqr and grows up in cloud recesses. I think there's a scene where an adult/older teen wwx requests that lqr formally adopt him, or lqr asks to formally adopt wwx. Either way, many heartwarming feelings! I think lwj might also formally request to speak to lqr about courting wwx in this fic. Thank you!

FOUND? All will be well when the day is done by abCEE (T, 76k, wangxian, Canon Divergence, Fix It, Not Jiang Family Friendly, not JFM or YZY friendly, Definitely not YZY centric, Time Travel, Butterfly Effect, Madam Lán Lives, No Sunshot Campaign, Unreliable Narrator, not JC friendly, non-yunmeng WWX, Accidental Baby Acquisition, Good Uncle LQR, Happy Ending, WWX gets the love and care that he deserves from the very beginning, WWX Isn't Adopted by the Jiāngs, verbal and physical (c/o Zidian) abuse from YZY)

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2. Hello. First time doing this so hope I'm doing it right. I'm looking for a fic I read ages ago but I can't remember the name. What I remember is that it's a Modern AU and Wei Ying was sent to boarding school (Gusu) where he was roomed with Lan Zhan. It was just him and he had a hard time adjusting before things slowly got better. He went home for the holidays and found out that he was blood related to Jiang Feingman and did not really handle that well and left home to go back to school. Last thing I remember happening is that he got tricked into picking up a call from JFM when he thought it was Yanli? If you know this fic, is really appreciate some help @cara-tanaka

FOUND? I want to stay with you by Naeme (T, 63k, WangXian, Modern AU, Slow Burn, High School, Age Progression, Family Secrets, Family Drama, Family Feels, Bonding, Mutual Pining)

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3. Hello, I’m looking for a specific WangXian fic, similar to “shoot your shot -hot or knot”. It features dark Lans where Lan Xichen sets up a mating run for his brother and Wei Ying signs up for the money. I remember a scene where all the contestants are asked to line and sign a contract and someone tries to escape. He gets shot and the rest of the contestants are warned not to try to run away. I think Lan Zhan is a feral/dominant Alpha. I believe he killed a few other contestants before making his way to Wei Ying. Hope you’re able to find it! Please and thank you 😊 @confundo

FOUND! Five Fifteen by 3neetee (M, 11k, WangXian, Modern AU, A/B/O Dynamics, Alpha LWJ, Alpha WWX, Mating runs, Graphic Description, Violence, Dom/sub Undertones, Light Bondage, Rape/Non-con Elements, Alpha/Alpha, Implied Mpreg, Dark LWJ, Betrayal, Smut, Anal Sex, WWX likes to be called Omega, Dark lans, Twitter threadfic, Unreliable Narrator WWX) locked to archive members only

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4. I’m looking for a Modaozushi Fanfic

I read this fanfic months ago. it is fic where wen qing asks for protection from wei ying, who is either a spirit or an immortal (he is definitely not human),for the wen remnants in exchange for their service for some time.

i think lan zhan (who was a winter lord or something) visits them after some time.

the story had not gone far when i had read it.

please help me find it.

FOUND? A Year and a Day by Admiranda (T, 11k, WIP, Unseelie AU, wwx is a fairy lord, making bargains with the fey, background wangxian, minor OCs, agenda: give wei wuxian some better siblings) the asker looking for the fic where WQ makes a bargain with WWX is likely looking for my Unseelie fic, in which WWX is the autumn Fey lord and LWJ is the winter prince. It is not cancelled, but the next chapter has been absolutely evil and refusing to write itself.

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5. Hii I remember this fic that happened at Phoenix mountain hunt , the blindfolded kiss scene, where wwx knew it was lwj because chenqing or the resentment didn't attack lwj , cause it knew him (recognized him) or something like that. @karinasnowwwx

FOUND? No one else but you by chrisemrys (M, 17k, wangxian, canon divergence, First Kiss, Stolen Kiss, Love Confessions, Fix-It, Everyone Lives au, Semi sentient resentful energy, Golden Core Reveal, Fluff and Hurt/Comfort, First Time)

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6. pls help me find this fic

A) i am doing this for the first time, Thank you already for all the efforts. i lost a twitter fic i read ago and forgot to save. Its info that i remember is as- TW // NSFW, MPREG..............it was a omegaverse types fic, lan zhan slept with wei ying, they did stuff. lan zhan ran away at night nd collapsed in the streets due to something related to omega-alpha thing, i dont exactly remember. then he's hospitalised for some time nd his brother lan huan stays with him. wei ying had no idea about lan zhan's conditions and lan huan thinks that lan zhan is in this condition because of wi ying so he starts hating him and tries his best to keep his brother away from wei ying......................they meet in a school programme again, where they play their guqin nd flute, towards the end wei ying is saved by lan zhan from an accident nd they r really close, again, lan zhan faints. lan huan comes, and takes lan zhan away. wei ying is pregnant nd wen wind knows it, she taks care of him. lan huan hides this info from lan zhan, who discovers it only when he overheard wen qing and lan huan talking when wen qing came to fetch lan zhan because wei ying's condition was getting worse without his a/b/o partner (doctor advised it). then, lan zhan goes to wei ying nd comfortshim, he sleeps but when he wakes up, he doesn't accept lan zhan nd technically hates him but they start taking things slowly nd improve. after a while, they r normal, they live in wen qing's apartment, lan zhan often feels distant and stays awake alone at night, wei ying is worried for him. he takes best care of wei ying but not himself. one day wen qing visits wei ying when lan zhan is out and tells him and she cam smell her scent nd not lan zhan's and that might be reason why lan zhan doesn't feel fine, because he is in other person's territory. wei ying calls lan qiren and asks help for a new place. rest, i dont remember, sorry. this is killing my brain

B) tw//nsfw it was a twt soc med au, wy was a singer/idol, got laid in a party(bday mayb), finds lan zhan later, lan zhan is the man. towards the end, he releases a whole song/album regarding his story, from getting laid to falling in love with lan zhan. in the mean time when he was preparing it as a bday gift, he gave less time to lz and he thought he was ignoring him. that's all i remember sorry, its stuck so bad, i cant forget it. there was a cover for the single/album too i dont remember @dee-s085

6A)

FOUND! Twitter Thread by babyofgusu

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7. Hi, I’m so sorry to have to ask this, it’s frankly embarrassing, but here we are. I was reading one of the fics you recommended for an itmf (I think the original request was something with soulbonding) and my app closed. Now you would think finding it again would be easy, but I had scrolled a few months back by the time I found it and now fro the life of me can’t find it. So here’s the premise: CQL post canon, WWX wakes after banishing a spirit at an old manor and finds himself in pain. Turns out he and LWJ got cursed to be close, when they’re touching the pain recedes. I got maybe halfway through where they decided to visit the manor since the library didn’t deliver results. Would you be so kind to direct me to the correct fic/itmf post? You Guys are amazing, have a nice weekend ❤️ @elitharavenclaw

Hi, #7 of the last fic finder, sadly those fics are both not it. Theres not really more detail to tell though, but I will try. WWX is found by two rogue cultivators who treat him fine, he travels back to cloud recess for 2 days with little apple, sizhui and Jingyi help researching, LQR is disapproving of wangxians “unseemlieness” though he knows they’re cursed, they do check the forbidden section of the library but without success. Hope this helps.

NOT FOUND! So Why Not Crack Your Skull When the Mind Swells by greenteafiend (E, 13k, wangxian, Hurt/Comfort, Curses, Case Fic, Mutual Pining, Getting Together, Confessions, Drunkenness)

NOT FOUND! All in Good Time by bigboobedcanuck (E, 8k, WangXian, Post-Canon, First Kiss, First Time, POV LWJ, Top LWJ, Pining LWJ, Protective LWJ, Bottom LWJ, Protective WWX, Top WWX, Pining WWX, Idiots in Love, Gūsū Lán Juniors Dynamics, Good Kid LSZ, Branding, Scars, Worry, Protectiveness) thought it was one i read a while ago but-according to my giant note i keep a list of all my fav untamed fics lol- its lwj who is cursed not wwx!

FOUND? You'd Break Your Heart to Make It Bigger by vesna (mrsronweasley) (E, 32k, WangXian, soulbonding, First Time, Case Fic if You Squint, Fools in Love, soul boning, soft fools in love, Pining while fucking) With the two rogues, this sounds like "You'd Break Your Heart To Make It Bigger"

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8. Hello darlings! I'd like to ask for your help finding a fic that i cannot find anymore... it's a wangxian AU set in 1800 England, kinda. I think wei ying is a fan of this mysterious writer who wrote a fantasy novel and of course the writer is lan zhan (or viceversa?). It's a 5 chapter fic written like it's jane austen's book! And the writer added extract of this book wei ying is a fan of! It's an amazing fic with a fanart of this book. I was sure that the fics name was the monster of yiling, but i cannot find it . Thank you in advance even if it can't be found 🥰 @jaecomments

FOUND! Restraint and Revelation: or, The Necromancer of Yiling by Lirelyn (T, 16k, wangxian, Regency au, Gothic, Story within a Story, Pining, LWJ's horny imagination)

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9. Hi! I'd like help finding this one fic. It's set in the cloud recesses during the lectures, LWJ is cursed by a group of Elders so he acts like the perfect Lan (or something) and WWX is the only one who notices, I remember he tried to bring it up to others (or at least Lan Qiren) but no one believed him, Only LXC does (once he returns - from somewhere, I don't know where). I also remember that a bit form LWJ perspective mentioning that they wanted to curse LXC too, but it would be too obvious. @i-like-snakes-and-spiders

FOUND! The Meaning of Silence by The Silverfish (ZephyrAndTheSilverfish) (T, 14k, wangxian, Mind Manipulation, Hurt/Comfort, Angst, Pining)

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10. hello! i wanted to find a fic where wangxian were resident doctors, they were kinda friends but turned into lovers. it was explictly rated as far as i remember! thank you!

FOUND? Anginal Equivalents by fakeplasticlily (E, 23k, wangxian, modern, Medical Residents AU, Childhood Friends, Mutual Pining, Oblivious WWX, Sexual Content, Podfic Available)

FOUND? Year Of Night Call by ailuridae (abigailnicole) (T, 22k, WangXian, XuanLi, Modern AU, What If Cultivators Were All Surgeons AU, surgery AU, Our Boys Are Trauma Fellows Now, The Lan Babies Are Surgery Interns, trauma fellows share a call room, and there was only one bed, hospital au, Medicine AU)

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11. I’m looking for the Fic where Wei Ying goes missing in high school and is homeless. Lan Zhan finds him at a coffee shop and buys him coffee and doesn’t recognize him at first. He gives him a coat. He brings Wei Ying to stay at his place. I believe wangji might be a single parent and have pet bunnies. Huaisang was best friends with Wei Ying & reconnects with him while he’s at wangji’s. Wei Ying goes missing again and xichen watches the bunnies while wangji searches and finds him out in the cold.

FOUND! Where You Fell by Sweet_William (E, 303k, wangxian, 3zun, JC/NHS, JYL/JZX, modern, Angst, Mutual Pining, Homeless, Getting Together, Slow Burn, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, accidental sugar daddy LWJ, Suicidal Thoughts, Self-Esteem Issues, Coffee Shops & Cafés au, Autistic Character, WWX Has ADHD, Panic Attacks, Hurt/Comfort, Implied/Referenced Sex Work, Implied/Referenced Substance Abuse, Eventual Happy Ending)

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12. Hi, I’m in need a bit of a help I’m struggling to find a wangxian fic, it’s involved wei wuxian and the wen refugees in the burial mound and some how they find in the burial mound they find the fountain of youth (or something like that) and they make a shop for makeup or something like that and sell it and wei wuxian dresses as a girl and I think other stuff happens but can’t fully remember. I was trying to find this fic but I can’t find it anywhere and I’m unsure if it’s been deleted or something, if you could help me find it or know if it’s been removed, I would really appreciate it, thank you.

FOUND? Fruit-Bearing Pool by rei_moon (T, 46k, WIP, wangxian, Mpreg, Crack Treated Seriously, Magical Pregnancy, Magical Pool, Out of Character, Inspired by Journey to the West’s Motherhood River, Historical Inaccuracy, WWX became a business mogul to feed his growing family, Minor OCs, Slow Build, Attempt at Humor, Crossdressing, For disguise purposes, Fix-It of Sorts, WWX and JZX being human disasters together, Misunderstandings)

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13. Hi, I was hoping to get some help with finding a fanfiction. The drescription is that Wwx tries to have naughties with Mianmian but can't perform so he goes to Lwj who lives in his mothers old house thinks about how he'd let wwx destroy the house because it was his mothers jail. They then talk and lwj tells wwx to do what he did with mm and he gets hard and they bone on the couch. The only other detail is a food scented candle that wwx got lwj that he lights? Idk sorry that's all I've got lol. @yilingweiclan

FOUND? Oh, 13 I think is sadly the deleted work "So he thinks he straight (a memoir by Lan Zhan)" by Pancho. I know there are people with copies floating around, you'll have to ask

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14. Twitter Wangxian socmed au, they r teleported to modern world, wei ying finds lz through a guqin post on insta with bunny dp. They meett..... xue yang is the villain who harms xiao xichen using suibian so the blame is diverted to wy but lz trusts him and song lan is angry from wy sonwy goes undercover. Lz tried to find him, helps him get the truth to song lan. xue yang acts like a good friend towards song lan but at the end, truth is revealed, xue yang is the villain, jin guangyao too is oresent, the mastermind behind xue yang. Its happy ending. @dee-s085

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15. Hello, I'm looking for a wangxian fic with wlw WX, in a modern AU where the Lans are secretly cultivators, but LWJ is a landscape designer. WWX is using the Baoshan name and is a cultivator that came down the immortal mountain to stop Wens from fucking the world over with Yin Tie by marrying Wen Chao and then killing off all the Wens, ending up wildly wealthy. She then goes after the Jin by being engaged to Meng Yao. LWJ is "investigating" WWX because LXC just wants to make sure A-Yao's fiance really loves him. @xxqiao

FOUND! Widow's Weeds by travelingneuritis (E, 18k, wangxian, modern cultivation, Gardens & Gardening, Wedding Planning, wedding thwarting, rich people are terrible, Light-Hearted, Smut, Gender Changes, Getting Together, offscreen deaths played for laughs, this is meant to be silly don't worry about it, Scheming, Plotting, wwx and jgy are accidentally-on-purpose bearding each other but i keep it PG, wwx running laps around the entire jin sect)

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16. Hey, thanks so much for your service! I'm looking for a fic that's very Lan Xichen focused, from what I remember after wangxian's happy ending he's left coming to terms with the past, in an effort to make a change for the future generations he destroys the Lan punishment implements and strikes away the rules on the stone that don't are not true to the founder's will @glassboner

FOUND? Twelve Moons and a Fortnight by stiltonbasket (M, 290k, WangXian, Humor, Slow Burn, Post-Canon Fix-It, Long-Distance Relationship, Epistolary, Love Letters, Family Feels, a-qing lives, teenage romance, Adoption, Romantic Comedy, Happy Ending, Weddings, Case Fic, Parenthood, Politics) I don't know if 16 might be Twelve Moons and a Fortnight by stiltonbasket but that fic has an scene exactly like the one described. It's not totally Xichen centric and wangxian are not together yet but it might be, idk.

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17. I'm hoping you can help me find this fic. It's a shorter fic from Lan Qiren's pov. It starts with him sitting in an inn next to four teenage boys. He recognizes one as Lan Xichen. There's a flashback to Lan Qiren not stopping a pregnant Madam Lan from escaping with Lan Xichen. It ends with Lan Qiren and Lan Xichen talking. The other boys at the table were Jiang Cheng and Wei Wuxian. Thanks for any help!

NOT FOUND! The Dreams of Youth by sami (E, 86k, wangxian, Canon Divergence, Time Travel, Fix-It, Family, Canon-Typical Violence, Canon-Typical Gore, Not Lan Sect Friendly, Bad Dads, good dads, JFM's A+ parenting, QHJ's F- Existence, Childhood Friends to Lovers, Sort Of, Hurt/Comfort, Explicit Sexual Content, Mothers Who Live, Additional Warnings In Author's Note, Not Everyone Dies au, Canonical Character Death)

FOUND! leave the ruins where they fall by tardigradeschool (G, 4k, WangXian, Found Family, Canon Divergence, Hair Braiding, Slice of Life, LQR apologism, Family Fluff Childhood Friends)

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18. Hey there hope you are doing fine . So I was searching for a wangxian fanfic which is based in modern times and in this wang ji asks for xian's help to look after his pet spirit rabbit, so he invites him in his apartment and xian cause need the job came ( jiang family has already kicked xian out after taking his golden core) while looking after rabbit the pet came to realize that xian is hurt badly and the story goes on like this ... Please help me find it ... @legendarywarrior99

FOUND? the soft animal of your body by sysrae (T, 15k, wangxian, modern cultivation, Golden Core Reveal, Hurt/Comfort, Whump, Animal Transformation, Shapeshifting, Getting Together, Confessions)

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19. hello, i was just in the middle of reading a fic and accidentally closed tumblr. It was a link to a03, but it isn’t in my history. Jiang Cheng is raising Wen Yuan as the Jiang Sect heir. When Lan Wangji sees them he moves to Lotus Pier to help raise him along with Jin Ling. At some point Mo Xuanyu alerts Jiang Cheng and Qin Sui about Jin Guangyao’s plots and they decide to raise Wei Wuxian from the dead to help and Lan Wangji is angry they are trying to use WWX again and decides to hunt down Xue Yang. He and Mian Mian run into Song Lan and join up to search and then.. I closed it by mistake. Any clue what the name of this fic is? @julnyes

FOUND! The Sun Sets Like a Whispered Regret by OrdinaryRealities (T, 41k, WangXian, Resurrect Your Gays, LWJ and JC enemies to brothers, Minor Character Death, Kidfic, Sort Of, Happy Ending)

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20. Hello! I am looking for a WangXian fic where Wangji runs away to the countryside and becomes roommates with Ying who I think runs an aesthetic farm-life youtube channel? I remember the fic was really beautifully written in how it described the old houses, countryside, local festivals, etc and you could practically “see” the filmography of the videos. I also remember a scene where Ying takes all the local kids to go hand fishing in the river. Thank you for your help!

FOUND! 🧡 【那夏天的我們】 a stroke of fate by puddingcatbeans (G, 59k, WangXian, Modern AU, Fluff, Slice of Life, Falling In Love, Summer, Barakamon AU, renowned musician lwj escapes to tiny village and falls in love with local farmer boy wwx, good times only, YouTuber WWX, Food)

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[alygator77]

After reading mhm I must admit that moving on after an abusive relationship is so hard. From expecting that behavior, molding yourself around it, to even seeking it out. I have this urge to pour out my experiences to you because the way reader reacts and thinks, it's very familiar. When I was in college I was raped by this guy, and nobody believed me. In the aftermath I genuinely thought I hallucinated it or something, eventually I went on to date the guy and even marry him. It was... Hard. It started slow after that, but once he started putting his hands on me, or locking me up, I was trapped. His parents didn't care, they almost encouraged it. I had no job, no means of getting out. It all plummeted when I got pregnant though, I didn't know what to do. Telling him was so scary, dealing with his outbursts after was even worse. In the end I had a miscarriage, and as much as that absolutely kills me, I'm almost glad. When I initially found out I even thought about getting an abortion. After this though my husband thought I was tainted and filed for divorce himself. It's funny because back when he did it that was the absolute worst day of my life, I begged him to stay and pleaded on my fucking knees. I'm so glad it happened, I have a job and I see a therapist once a week and I even got into a proper relationship last year. I might not have had a Gojo, but I made it.

oh my goodness, i teared up reading your message 🥺 thank you so much for sharing something so personal and heavy. you should be SO incredibly proud of yourself for surviving, for healing, and for building a life for yourself after everything you’ve been through. i’m in awe of your strength 🩵

it warms my heart to know that mhm reader resonates with you. i was also a victim of both sexual assault and domestic abuse, and you’re absolutely right—moving forward after something like that is incredibly hard. when you’ve been in a long-term relationship with your abuser, it reconditions the way you view love, safety, and even your own worth. it’s not just healing from the trauma—it’s relearning yourself.

what you went through is heartbreaking, and i’m so sorry you had to carry all of that alone for so long. the way you describe not being believed, questioning your own reality, and ultimately feeling trapped—it’s something i know many survivors relate to all too well 😞

but god… the fact that you made it out—you’ve done something so powerful. you’re rebuilding a life you deserve, piece by piece.

thank you again for sharing your truth with me, and thanks for reading my story 🩵 i’m sending you so much love, admiration, and respect. you are not alone. 🫶🏻

-aly

[lov3lyl3tters]

Thanks for making that post about censorship made it a lot easier to go through and block all of you

Censorship is just a threat made by the dominant political power, and it’s a promise of violence against those who wish to speak out against them. You do recognize that censorship in fandom has been deeply fought against since the 70s for this exact reason Because people were conflating queerness with pedophilia.

I think it’s really important for you to do a little introspection and understand that censorship truly only affects minorities. POC’s, women of color, queer people those are the people who get targeted first. Cis straight white men will not be held to the same standard they literally never are. 

And I never see you guys talking about censorship in mainstream media y’all could be fighting against HBO and Game of Thrones or that Yellowstone show that glorifies the rape and assault of indigenous people. If you truly care about that stuff being put out there for everybody to see then you should be going after these big corporations that are basically forcing it into the homes of everybody, not niche little Internet creators were the only people who are reading that stuff are the people who are actively seeking it out. Or why not go after all those weirdo horror fucks on YouTube they make videos, glorifying, rape and assault and child sexual assault. I don’t see y’all talking about them. Or all those horribly disgusting misogynistic podcast Bros you could be directing your energy towards them. You know the ones with millions of young impressionable male followers. 

I’ve been raped my 5 different men I was raped from the age of nine until 15 by my father. Not a single one of them knew anything about fanfiction or fandom spaces, but they did watch Game of Thrones. I may not read non-con or dub con stuff, but it’s not actively harming me so why should I care. what is actively harming me is mainstream media red pilling all these boys and making it seem normal to rape and assault I guarantee you the people who are actually out on the street doing these heinous crimes are not reading fanfiction.

Take your energy and apply it somewhere that actually matters because I guarantee you these people that you’re complaining about are more likely to be the ones to help you when shit hits the fan than anyone else

Just like, a lot of the stuff you said, was very similar to Nazi rhetoric and extremely similar to stuff that the current American dictatorship is trying to do.

Pls read 1984 by George Orwell

Hi, I want to start by saying I’m genuinely sorry for the horrific experiences you’ve been through. No one should ever have to endure that kind of trauma, and your voice—and your pain—deserve to be acknowledged with care and respect.

That said, I want to clarify a few things about my post and where I’m coming from. I wasn’t advocating for state-mandated censorship, nor was I aligning myself with any authoritarian regime or fascist ideology. My concerns weren’t about silencing queer voices, POC, or marginalized creators. In fact, many of the people speaking up about harm in fandom spaces are queer, POC, survivors, and women ourselves.

The discussion around certain kinds of content in fandom isn’t about moral panic or policing thought crimes—it’s about how trauma, abuse, and violence are depicted and consumed in ways that sometimes normalize or romanticize real harm, especially when it’s divorced from context, nuance, or critique. It’s fair to ask questions about that. That isn’t censorship—it’s accountability.

You’re absolutely right that mainstream media deserves just as much, if not more, critique for the way it platforms violence, misogyny, and racialized harm. I do speak up about those things, and many of us can hold both ideas at once: that fandom is important and not above critique.

I also want to say that telling people to “go fight the real enemy” can unintentionally erase the way niche internet spaces shape people’s views. Just because fanfiction isn’t mainstream doesn’t mean it exists in a vacuum. Culture is formed in both big and small spaces, and both can reinforce harmful narratives if left unexamined.

You don’t have to agree with me, but equating my concern with “Nazi rhetoric” or calling it a threat to free speech isn’t accurate or fair. The point is to protect each other, not silence. And I think we both want a world where people are safer, not more harmed. That’s where I’m coming from, even if our paths to get there look different.

(ps. I have read 1984 twice in fact.)

[dracaryswonder]

Hello, same anon who sent in the ask about SA. I’m very sorry if I’ve triggered anyone. I know this is a dark topic, but like the anon before me said, most of his supporters are being entirely delusional if they think it’s not a possibility at some point. One of the reasons I’m so desperate for him to go free is because I don’t want this to happen to him. He is fucking precious. He doesn’t deserve this. Nobody deserves this. (To the anon before me, I hope you’re in a better place now ♥️)

So I’m 99% positive nothing serious has happened at MDC. At least not once he moved to the dorm. The area he’s in is fairly well monitored by security cameras. Like they’d have to go out of their way to take him somewhere and do something nasty. And it would be noticed by his fellow inmates, all of whom are also awaiting trial and have regular access to lawyers and by extension the outside world. Trouble maker Diddy is not keeping his trap shut if he witnesses something. Plus they share lawyers.

At the most they occasionally cop a feel when they’re moving him around. Of when they’re putting the chains on him. As disgusting and violating as that is, it’s the least of his problems right now. He seems fairly desensitised when they touch him now. I was also really scared when they first walked him in last Friday. He looked miserable.

As creepy as some of his bunk mates are, they are yet to be sentenced and will not risk possible freedom or reasonable sentences by attacking Luigi. Everyone in there is loaded and actually has a decent chance of being acquitted because money makes the world go round. As dumb as Diddy and his ilk are, they’re not that short sighted. Not before they’ve been sentenced and still have a fighting chance. They won’t touch him now. A little intimidation maybe, but morning more.

What’s trickier is the time he spent in Altoona and his initial 10 days in solitary at MDC. 90% of abuse by COs happens in cells because there are no cameras in there and the general area is also not as well monitored as the high profile unit. I am going to be optimistic and hope that KFA’s addition to his team nipped a lot of shady shit in the bud because that lady is well connected (and probably has been hired for her clout as much as her skill as a lawyer) If they abuse him she’s going to have a rape kit in there sooner than you can say “mistrial”

That leaves us with Altoona. Unfortunately I have a feeling boundaries were crossed there. And since they forced him into signing a waiver saying he was treated fine, I don’t think they will be able to bring that up in court in the future. They would’ve stripped him and put the turtle suit on him when they first got him. Between that and strapping him down for the night, I’m not surprised he had his outburst outside the courthouse.

Let’s just pray he’s acquitted of all charges. He’s (somewhat) safe, for now. We just have to manifest his safety and freedom so he can put this all behind him soon.

I agree he was treated inhumanely in altoona considering we say them throw him against a wall i hate to think what those pigs did behind closed doors

[slowlyhardgoatee]

Boy, I’m not gonna beat around the bush here. 

You’re here to be a slave. A cum-guzzling pig-boy slut. That’s all you are. That means you do exactly as you’re told. Instantly. I will be renting your holes out to my mates, every day. That’s right, slut boy, seven days a week. I’ll be making good money off your tight cunt, not to mention that talented mouth of yours. But don’t get the idea that you’re anything more to me than the hole between your legs, and the hole that faggy voice comes out of. 

So, some ground rules. You don’t speak unless expressly spoken to. No one wants to hear that lispy faggot voice. If you do get to talk, you keep it to ‘Yes, Sir’, ‘Thank you, Sir,’ ‘Rape me harder please, Sir’. Stuff like that. And obviously, your own cock is off limits while there are Real Men here.

Now, if you’re a good pig, once a week I will allow you the privilege of jerking off. You will do so in the bathroom at the end of the hall, with the door closed and locked, and with no external stimulation whatsoever. No porn, no Tumblr galleries, nothing. You will jerk off in complete silence, boy, I mean I don’t wanna hear a fucking sound. When you’ve finished, you will clean up after yourself - I don’t think I need to say, but I will, that I do not want to see any evidence whatsoever of you having pleasured yourself. Then you will come back in here. Before you resume servicing my cock, you will kneel in front of me, privates exposed, and you will beg me to boot you in the balls, boy. After I’ve done that, I wanna hear a nice loud ‘Thank you, SIR’ before you deep throat my fat hog. Is that clear, faggot? Good boy. 

Why don’t we do a practice run, slut? You heard me, boy. Knees. Now. Look at your Owner’s boot, pig. Steel toe caps, and good clean leather. Now look down at your pathetic cock and balls. They deserve to be kicked in, don’t they, boy? Eh? That little dicklet is just about the smallest I’ve ever seen. 

Now, I’m gonna light up. Nothing turns me on more than using and abusing a faggot while I’m smoking. You’re gonna beg for my boot in your useless balls while I take my sweet time huffing on this cigar. Be warned, boy - if I see you starting to get hard I’ll be tapping off my cigar ash all over your fucking cock. 

Go on then, boy. Start begging for Sir’s fucking boot. Let’s see how pathetic and desperate you can sound. Slut. If you’re a good boy, I might see my way clear to having you over my knee for a good fucking belting, and all. You like the sound of that, pig? 

Oh - I can see your little dicklet trying to get hard, boy. You know what that means, don’t you? Time to use your cock head as a fucking ash tray, faggot. Scream all you want. It only gets me harder. 

[abbatoirablaze]

Locked Up, Chapter 8

Word Count: 1.6k

Warnings: attempted rape, condescension, slapping women, violence, abuse of power, maiming someone.

“You been sneakin’ round on me, girl,” the mid-western warden drawled out as his silver eyes panned up to the CO.  She shivered under his gaze.  He removed his focus from the bare mahogany desk as he looked at her, the smallest of smirks playing on his lips.  Viv kept a straight face and an even straighter back as she sat still in the chair opposite the wardens, trying to pretend that she hadn’t just shivered in front of him, “well?  You gonna say something, sweetheart?  Or just keep sitting there like a dumb little slut?  Don’t get me wrong, I love it when you’re quiet…but usually it’s cuz my cock is shoved down the back of your throat!”

“Lee...I-“

The chair squeaked as he leaned back; his firm belly muffin-topping over the tight uniform as he fiddled with his pockets.  He was quick to pull a lemon candy from them before popping it in his mouth and throwing the wrapper in the small aluminum bin beside himself.  He shook his head, the hard candy clicking into the side of his cheek as he started in on her, “ah, ah ah there, Viv…you don’t get to call me Lee…not when you’re going around fuckin’ the likes of inmate Jensen!  Right now, I’m here so you can get your just desserts sweetie.  Give you the extra dicking you so clearly need to keep ya in line…and who knows…maybe I’ll let ya keep this one if it sticks.”

“Come on, Lee,” Viv tried to scoff, brushing past the statement of the abortion he’d forced her to get a few months ago.  She rolled her eyes, hoping that he didn’t read too much into how stiff she really was, “Jensen?  Where the hell did you hear those lies?”

Lee sucked on his teeth, and Viv caught the candy rolling over his tongue.  His eyes held no humor in them. No. 

He was pissed. 

She could read him like an open book. 

And she knew that she wasn’t going to get away with it.

“No?  Must a been mistaken’ then, right?  I mean, I heard it from a few sources…then I pulled surveillance in the wing…just for chuckles…but you know what…I found exactly what I was lookin’ for,” he clucked, shaking his head at her, “Nothing.  I mean, it’s kind of funny the camera goes dead quite a bit when you start evening rounds…and from what I know the only people that can really black out the cameras is your little boyfriend and our IT department…and I doubt they’d let you get away with fucking an inmate…even if your other little boyfriend attempted to pay them off.  Because we both know that little prude in IT, Jenny has a thing for me…and boy would she live for the chance to rat you out…but you see…it wasn’t just Jensen’s cell…was it?”

There it was. 

The coup de gras. 

He knew about Ransom.

But she tried to shake it off, another scoff falling from her lips, “I-I don’t know what you’re talking about, Lee…”

“It’s Warden Bodecker to you, you dirty little slut,” the warden growled, throwing his hands down on the desk.  Viv jumped, being caught off guard as he glared at her, “I should do so much more than what I’m going to….I should punish you the way a little harlot like you deserves.”

“Lee-“

“It’s Warden Bodecker, DAMMNIT!  GOD DAMMNIT VIV!  I put myself out there for you, Viv!” he growled, cutting her off, “I let you run this place without saying boo because I thought hey…if my little queen wanted to run the castle, why the hell not.  But I see now you’re just an attention depraved little whore who fucks anyone that looks at her sideways.  And you need to be put in your place once and for all.  We’re done playing these games, Viv…”

“Lee…please…you-you’re scaring me…”

He scoffed and snorted. 

Lee Bodecker was nearly off the rails as he hovered over the CO, “LEVINSON!  YOU’RE FUCKING THAT ANIMAL NOW TOO?”

“Lee-“

“SHUT UP!” the warden spat, backhanding Viv.  She stumbled backwards into his bookshelf and slumped against it, “I thought I put you in your place when I took care of the bullshit with Jensen.  I got you off that troublesome block only for you to start shacking up with the first monster that looked at ya.  Ain’t I enough for ya, Vivian?  Why do you want to go fucking those inmates, huh?  You feel bad for em?  Or I just ain’t put enough cum in your belly?  You want knocked up that bad?”

Her head stung and she reached up to touch it.  Hissing, she pulled away to see the red tinge on her fingers.  She was ignoring everything that Lee was saying, her only focus on her head, “Shit…”

“That’s nothing.  You know damn well I can do much more than that, you little slut,” he growled, grabbing her by her hair and pulling her to her feet, “now get on up, girl!”

“Stop!” she wailed, begging the warden.  He pushed her hard against the wall; her back hitting it with a thud, “Lee!”

He backhanded her again, cutting her off.  One hand reached down and he started on his belt buckle, “Shut the hell up, Viv.  I’m ending this once and for all…gonna put a baby in you today…and tomorrow you’re putting in yer resignation and quitting and I’m movin’ ya in to my place.  We’re done playin’ these little games.  I’ll have you barefoot and pregnant waiting on me to come home every night…and you’ll straighten up and pay good little housewife instead of red-light whore on the corner!”

But their little entanglement was cut off by the sound of the power in his office going out.  The dull sounds of the facility around them became deafeningly still. The hum of the AC died, and the air filled with a muggy tension. 

Then the red-lights came on. 

“Lee…”

His eyes snapped to hers, “it’s a riot, Viv…god damn it.”

A siren wailed in the distance and Lee pushed himself away from the CO.  Instantly he was forgetting about her, buckling his pants back up and moving towards his desk.

“Lee?”

“Shut up, girl,” he growled, shooting her another quick look, “right now we  gotta deal with this…but afterwards I’m following through on my promise and fucking some sense into you.”

“I-“

In a few short steps he was hovering in front of her, a deadly look on his face, “You got something to say?”

“No Lee-“

“Sir!”

A few tears slipped down her cheeks, and she shook her head, “sir.”

“Say it!” he growled, grabbing her jaw in another quick movement.  He forced her to look at him, “you tell me you ain’t got nothing to say…and you say it right.”

“I-I don’t have nothing to say, sir.”

He held her jaw so firmly that Viv started to feel a pain in it.  He sucked in his cheeks and watched her for a second, before releasing her, content with the answer, “Good girl.  Now get yourself put back together.  We have to get to the armory before these animals break free.”

“If anyone’s an animal, it’s you, warden!”

Lee Bodecker snapped in the direction of his door, where a behemoth of a man was lit up by the red emergency lights. 

Lee’s breath caught in his throat, fear pulsating throughout him.

Ari Levinson. 

He stepped inside the room, and the shadows moved away from his face, allowing Lee to see that Ari was beyond pissed.

“Levinson…get back to your cell, inmate…”

Ari smiled, “it’s not going to work like that, warden…you and I both know what’s going on in your prison…we both know that you aren’t calling the shots anymore.”

“Well…looks like Levinson came here for his little slut, didn’t he?” Lee taunted, shooting a look over to Viv, “though, I wonder how he knew that you were going to be here.”

“So you know that I came up here to get Viv…the real question is what is your response to that?” Ari asked, “there are a few ways that this can play out, Warden…”

“Oh…you’re giving me options?” Lee chuckled, “that’s rich…get back to your cell and maybe I forget this whole little rescue plot happened.  Maybe I don’t throw you in the hole and lock away the key!”

“You won’t do that!” Ari smiled, “you won’t get the chance, Bodecker!”

“Inmate…I will kill you if that means maintaining the peace…”

Ari chuckled, “I’d love to see you try, Bodecker!”

Lee eased away from Viv and back towards his desk, “you know…I could make things very hard for you at this prison, Levinson.”

“Thought you were going to kill me, Bodecker.  Or throw away the key once you threw me in the shoe,” Ari smirked.  Then he shot Viv a look and his smirk faded away.  She’d had drying blood at her temple and a split lip.  His rage continued as his eyes slid down her body to see her uniform shirt was torn open.  His eyes snapped back to Lees, “What the hell were you doing before I got here, warden?”

“Ari-“

“Shut up, you little slut!” Lee growled, cutting Viv off.  He’d put more distance between himself and the inmate before continuing, “What I do in my office is none of your business, inmate!  Especially not with my property.”

“She doesn’t belong to anyone!” Ari growled.

“That little whore belongs to me, Levinson…not the other way around?”  

“I’ll deal with you in a second, warden,” Ari spat before turning his attention towards the CO, “Are you okay, Viv?”

“Don’t you say a word to him, CO!” Lee commanded, another murderous look being shot her way, “Levinson, back out of my office now…I don’t want to use force, but I will.”

“See, I get the feeling that you really want to use force,” Ari smirked, “and looking at what you obviously did to Viv…I want to use force too!”

“Lev-“

But he didn’t have time to get the words out.  Ari launched himself at the warden, his fists flying in a fury as he heard Viv scream behind him.

Chapter 9

Tag List:  @lohnes16, @prokey16, @tenaciousperfectionunknown, @teambarnes72, @cjand10

[jambalaya-enthusiast]

Hii I saw someone being rude to you and saying to go marry your rapist or such and I wanted to add my input.

I was a victim of sexual abuse for around 4 years and developed Stockholm syndrome because I felt the need to keep what was happening secret and he made me feel like I needed him. With being sexually assaulted obviously that changes your views on things. With characters like Jimmy people often become obsessed with trying to figure that characters complexity out and their reasoning behind their actions.

Some people even use characters like this to attempt to find a reason as to why their assaulter may have done what they did to them by breaking down the character but that’s not the case with everyone.

You can like a character and everything about them like looks, personality, the way they were written, etc, and not condone their actions. A majority of people who do like Jimmy don’t condone what he did and I think it’s insane that someone is so mad over someone liking a fictional character that they could say such a thing as to “go marry your rapist.”

That’s nasty and inhumane. Things like that cause suicide and such everyday so you’re not much better than the people you hate. (No im not comparing rape to a few words I’m just saying they are both horrible things and are harmful to the people on the receiving end of those.)

A simple block or not even asking would have been fine lmfao leave them alone.

Sorry for this being so long :(

First of all, you're awesome and beautiful, no one deserves to go through that. And yes, people who go through abuse have different ways of coping and overcoming their traumas, it's not a person's fault of having cnc kinks or such. But wishing rape upon people who enjoy fictional stuff does not make you any better.

Don't ever apologise for saying what's right. Thank you so much for your input, it really needed to be said. <3

[kcyars520]

it’s always been FUCK them they need to kill them selves

Watching people backpedal in response to this leaked audio of tory & kelsey’s call making my blood boil cause y’all really put meg through all that for nothing. Y’all had more than enough evidence.

Y’all can go to hell for your disgusting dickriding

Drake can go to hell for that disgusting and corny line calling her a liar and he can take his bbl and tummy tuck with him

Joe budden can go to hell for disrespecting her

Zach Campbell can go to hell for spreading lies

Mariah the scientist can go to hell for being such a pick me biiich

Dababy can go to hell for collaborating with him in a song that Nobody listened

Jack harlow can go to hell by association because he collaborated with him and dababy(ironically his remix of what’s poppin is lames biggest hit at least according to billboard charts. So the motive for the infamous shooting is basically summed up as toxic masculinity and fragile ego , that leprechauns can’t handle the fact that a black female rapper had more success and Grammys than he does and when she said that his music is wack) and this hurts because i like the guy

Iggy azealia can go to hell for collaborating with him

Lebron James can go to hell for listening to his music and praising it(and he’s got a black wife and daughters and sons Smgdfh, he should be lucky to have his family though he’s slutting himself out for a bald head degenerate)

Dj akademiks can go to the 7th circle of hell for spreading lies and because he’s an ugly looking honey bun

50 cent can swim in the lake of fire because he mocked her trauma twice and he’s only sorry now because he heard the audio of him admitting to it.

The bloggers can go to Dante’s inferno because while two white women were telling the real information about the trial as real journalists should be doing, these gossip girls were d!ck munching a midget who was an abuser and violent degenerate. What does that say about black media when I’m praising white women for doing their jobs? Black bloggers who are professionals and ethical, be ashamed and outraged of your anti black and anti black women counterparts lack of respect, ethics and professionalism

I don’t gaf if they back pedal or apologize. They had two years to do the right thing and they chose evil. It’s too late. There’s lashings and a$$ whoopings for them arssholes who’s necks and a$$ my feet are stomping on and biiiches it’s here to stay!

You can’t have degenerate d!ck familiarity and then when you learn that he’s the bastard everyone else knew he was take it back, it’s too late, you choose this. You were willingly selling your soul, your dignity, your humanity, and your sense of judgment to be a groupie for someone who is a coward at the expense to retraumatize a black woman for years. Have you learned anything from what happened with r Kelly and Ian walkins ? Yeah clearly not! I heard the stories, I get mad with rage when I think about it and feel sick. Parents and enablers were so star struck with their idols despite they’re open pedophiles That they would literally let their children be raped by these monsters who deserve far worse than a long prison sentence ijs.

toxic fandoms are a problem in society and social media and clearly that leprechauns fan base is not the exception. One of his fans said that he’s our modern emmitt till. 🤬🙄😤Harriet Tubman should have capped those fans ancestors. George bush, your no child left behind policy sucks because some children should have been left behind in school.

Let this be a lesson for anyone. Believe survivors of abuse until it’s backwards, don’t trust or protect anybody, never be so willing to worship a famous person that if they become problematic you’re willing to lose your self respect and black women deserve better