#and I’m like you’re right I deserved to be abused and raped | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

slut4thebroken · 1 year ago

Text

All Work, No Play: hour two

── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ──

Pairing | Jackson Ripper × reader

Summary | Jackson makes it clear that he has no intention of letting you go anytime soon.

Warnings | NON CON 18+, sexual content, fingering, dubious consent, degradation, humiliation, choking, crying, breeding, unprotected sex, emotional manipulation, objectification, dehumanization, anal rape, no lube, spit as lube (don’t do that besties), spanking?, knife play, cutting, carving?, blood play, spitting lol, breeding

Words | 5.6 k

Notes | READ THE WARNINGS. YOU ARE RESPONSIBLE FOR THE CONTENT YOU CHOOSE TO VIEW.

Ao3 link | <3

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Hour one

“Push it out. Yeah, there you go.” He cooed, collecting his come on his fingers as if trickled out of you. When he deposited it onto your asshole, you stiffened.

“Jackson.” You warned, getting an incredibly painful slap on your ass in response.

“Relax. Like I said, I’m not completely cruel. I’ll prep you a bit first.”

“Jackson, no-” You whined, trying to lift yourself up onto shaky arms, but falling back down with a scream when he hit you again, this time on your clit.

“I’m more than happy to just get right to it, if that’s what you want.” He waited for your response, then continued with a scoff when you stayed silent.

He suddenly pushed his fingers in your cunt and your hips moved back to chase the pleasure when he pulled them away after only a few seconds. He dragged them up, teasing your other hole, and you tried your best to relax, but when the first one pushed in, your whole body tensed up.

“If you just relax it won’t hurt as much.”

No shit, you wanted to say. Instead you bit your lip and buried your head in the sheets, trying not to make any sounds. When the second finger pushed in, it forced a sharp breath out of your nose and you started to taste blood from how hard you were biting.

“Fuck, you’re tight.” He groaned, then spat on your rim and you let out a choked moan, making him laugh under his breath. “Of course you like that.” When the third finger pushed in, you jolted and moved up the bed, but he grabbed your hip and roughly pulled you back, making sure not to move his hand so that the motion would bury his fingers even deeper. “Remember what I said. I’ll gladly fuck you right now. This is me being generous so I suggest you don’t abuse my kindness.”

“Jackson, please don’t.” You sobbed, head lifted just enough so your voice wasn’t muffled. “Please-” He all but punched his fingers inside you, making you cut off with a whimper.

“Jesus fucking christ.” He grumbled and you heard the sheets rustling as the bed shifted, then he was pushing your face down into the bed to muffle your sounds. “I’m trying to be nice but you just can’t quit the whining, can you?” You let out a strangled whimper and fisted the sheets until your fingers ached.

“You’re lucky I was your first rapist. If it were anyone else, they wouldn’t give two shits about prep. But maybe that’s what you deserve.” He grabbed your hair and lifted your head, then leaned down so his lips brushed your ear, never stopping the movement of his fingers. “After all, no one wants a loose cocksleeve. So prepping you just seems a little counterintuitive don’t you think?” You let out a quiet sob as your eyes filled with tears once again.

“What do you say to me for being so generous?” He asked lowly, making you almost shiver. “If I don’t think you’re grateful then I’m not going to waste my time with this.”

“…Thank you.” You whispered.

“What was that?”

“T-thank you.” Your voice was barely a whimper now and when you squeezed your eyes shut, a tear rolled down your cheek. “Thank you.” He shoved your face back into the bed, then added another finger. He fucked you slowly, focusing mostly on spreading his fingers to hurry this up.

You’ve never felt this full before and the stretch was burning a little, but for some sick reason, you still wanted to come. You knew you wouldn’t be able to though, not like this.

“What do you think? You ready for my cock?” You wanted to say no, but at the same time, you just want to get it over with. “Yeah, I think you are.” He answered for you, removing his fingers then moving behind you again. He roughly flipped you over and you turned your head to the side, not wanting to look at him.

“I’ll let you choose. I can fuck your face and get a little more lube on my cock, or I’ll just fuck your ass right now.” You glanced down at his length nervously. It was completely dry and you knew that the small amount of spit he just used wouldn’t be enough.

“Fine.” You said quietly, making him chuckle.

“You know that’s not good enough.”

“Please fuck— please fuck my… my face.” You choked out as your whole face got warm.

“With pleasure.” He manhandled you so that your head was hanging off the edge, then placed your arms on your stomach and pinned them there with one hand. “Open.” He commanded. You tentatively let your mouth drop open and he wasted no time sliding inside. “If I feel any teeth, I’ll break your jaw. Do you understand?” You shuddered, but hummed in acknowledgment, not able to speak.

He didn’t even start slow to let you get used to it. He just started rutting against your face, the tip of his cock punching the back of your mouth with each thrust. You gagged and choked, body writhing on the bed, but his grip was unmoving.

“I said no,” a sharp smack on your clit had you crying out, “fucking,” the second one brought tears to your eyes, “teeth.” You sobbed around his length on the third slap, your clit burning now, but what made it worse was the fact that it made you want to come even more.

He didn’t bother keeping this up for long though. After only a few moments, his pace slowed a little.

“This is your only warning.” He said and you furrowed your brows in confusion. On the next thrust, he remained buried in your mouth, then pushed against the resistance until he breached your throat barrier. The whimper that escaped you barely made any sound and he let out a low groan as his free hand settled on your neck, pressing on where his cock was bulging your throat.

You were starting to panic now and with him buried this deep, his balls were resting on your nose, not letting you get any air in. You tried turning your head to the side but you could barely move. When he pulled out, you took in a huge breath and started coughing, on the verge of tears from the rough treatment.

“Open.” You whimpered and shook your head, making him grip your throat. “Open.” He growled and you let out a choked sob, but parted your trembling lips. He didn’t wait for you to open all the way before pushing inside again. He resumed the fast pace and it was almost as if he was purposefully trying to breach your throat barrier with each thrust, that’s how forceful he was being. With how much you were coughing and sputtering, spit was escaping your lips, trailing up your face, adding to your humiliation.

“I know...” He said softly as you thrashed in his hold. “You can take it.” You whimpered in response and tried to shake your head. His thrusts slowed to a rocking motion, going down your throat each time. Through your crying and the intrusion in your mouth, it was almost impossible to breathe and your head was starting to feel heavy from being upside down for so long.

“I’m doing this for you, remember? I’m doing this because you wanted me to— because you begged me to.” You tried to free your arms so you could push him away but he just tightened his grip and pressed them harder into your stomach. He pushed all the way in and froze, keeping your head still against the edge of the bed. His fingers brushed over the column of your throat again, then he wrapped his hand around your neck and started stroking, stimulating his cock from the outside too. He let out a low moan, leisurely rutting his hips, but still staying buried deep.

You were panicking even more now because it felt like you were about to pass out any second. Your lungs burned and you were practically dry heaving with how much you were gagging, but he ignored you, continuing this for a few more seconds before pulling out. Immediately after he released your arms and stepped back, you rolled over on your stomach and coughed almost violently, watching a trail of saliva fall from your lips.

“If you throw up, I’m not paying for the extra cleaning fee.” He said, sounding almost bored. You closed your eyes as you panted, trying to catch your breath. “Do you need some water?” He sneered and you wanted to tell him to fuck off, insult him, anything… but you’re just so tired. You just want this to be over already.

“How do you want me?” You asked quietly as you rose to a seated position.

“Who said I was done fucking your mouth?”

“Please, no more.” You whimpered, keeping your eyes on the floor. He stepped forward and grabbed your cheeks in one hand, making you whimper and try to flinch away. He just tightened his grip before tilting your head up to face him.

“Did you finally break?” He cooed, so sweetly that for a second you almost didn’t realize he was mocking you. When you stayed silent, he continued. “I must say, you lasted longer than I expected.”

“Please stop tormenting me and just do it.” You whispered, making him click his tongue and shake his head in disagreement.

“How am I tormenting you?” He asked softly— innocently. He tilted his head slightly to emphasize the question and you tried to figure out how to put it into words.

“Please just do it.” You decided to say instead. He pursed his lips and nodded slowly as he thought.

“You think after I fuck your ass, we’re done.” He realized, making you nervous. “I’m sorry, honey, I didn’t mean to mislead you.” Closing your eyes, you let out a choked sob, trying to hold in the tears. “I have this room until 11 a.m. tomorrow, we have all night.”

“Jackson, please..” You cried, feeling bile rise in your throat at the thought of what he could do in that amount of time. “I— I gave you what you wanted. Please just let me go.” You said quietly. He let out a heavy breath through his nose, then released your face.

“I can’t do that yet.”

“Why not?” You whimpered, bottom lip trembling.

“Because I’m not done with you.” When you let out a broken sob, he cooed and gently cupped your cheek as he shushed you. “You know how I feel about the crying.” He said softly, but you still knew it was a warning.

“How am I supposed to not cry right now?” You whimpered, sounding just pathetic enough to not set him off.

“You’re a big girl, I’m sure you can figure it out.” He lightly slapped your cheek, making you flinch. “On your stomach.” You bit your quivering lip and hesitated for only a moment before obeying.

“How about we play a little game?” He kneeled over your legs and you craned your head back so you could see him. When he reached in his pants pocket and pulled out a switchblade, you visibly jumped as it opened. “Since I couldn’t trust you to shut up before… everytime I hear a noise, you bleed.” Your eyes widened and your heart dropped into your stomach.

“What?” You said through a breath, trying not to start hyperventilating.

“Relax. It’ll just be a small cut. And besides, if you can resist moaning while being raped, then I won’t ever need to use this.” He waved the blade around teasingly and you frowned. When he realized you weren’t going to respond, he used his free hand to pull your ass cheeks apart, then spat on your hole.

“Jackson— Jackson, wait,” You whimpered, reaching behind yourself to try and push him away.

“The game starts now.” You had no reason to not believe him. So you bit your lip and buried your face in the sheets, making him reach forward and roughly yank you back up by your hair. “No cheating.” You let out a shaky breath through your nose, trying to calm down. When he let go of your hair, you kept your head up. “Good girl.”

You took in a sharp breath at the feeling of his cock against your ass. He applied some pressure and you stiffened, waiting for the pain you knew you were about to feel. When he finally breached your hole, you screamed and tried to move up the bed, letting out a violent sob when you felt the sharp sting on your ass. It quickly turned into a deep throbbing and you let your head fall forward as you clung to the sheets, trying to ground yourself. You did your best to silence your cries, the only sounds being shaky breaths and quiet whimpers that were mostly muffled by the bed.

“Gonna be quiet now?” You weren't sure if you were allowed to answer verbally, but you tried anyway.

“Please, I- I can’t.”

“You can. Either voluntarily or involuntarily, but I’d rather not have to clean up a big mess and I’m sure you’d prefer to keep your tongue.” You let out a strangled whimper, your sobs intensifying. “So— We’re going to keep playing the game. I’ll only cut you four more times, after that I’ll move on to something more permanent. Understand?”

“Jackson, please.” You whined, trying not to focus on the sharp pain in your hole and on your ass.

“If you’re not going to answer a simple fucking question, maybe I’ll cut it out anyway.”

“No! No- I’m sorry. I’ll try but— I really don’t think I can.” You whimpered. “I’m not just saying that. I genuinely don’t think I can do it.” You added, when he didn’t respond.

“Fine. I’ll give you a choice.” Your stomach churned just thinking about what he would say. “Either we continue the game— four more warning cuts before I shut you up for good— or I carve my name and you don’t have to worry about staying completely silent.” There’s not a chance in hell you’ll be able to take that much pain with him cutting his entire name. You’ll probably throw up or pass out or both. But you also don’t think you’ll be able to stay silent— not with his cock splitting you open like this.

“Tick tock.” He singsonged, dragging the tip of the knife over your ass.

“The— the first one.” You said quietly. He let out a disappointed hum and lifted the knife off your skin.

“Not what I would’ve picked but I guess I should honor my word.” While you waited, you took deep breaths, trying to calm yourself. “Starting now.” He immediately continued pushing in the rest of the way, only stopping when he was buried to the hilt inside you. Your eyes widened and you placed a hand over your mouth, swallowing down a whimper as you breathed heavily through your nose.

“Atta girl. Stay nice and quiet.” He slowly pulled back, then pushed in a little faster, continuing that rhythm. Your eyes burned as you tried not to cry, but it hurt. He’s big and didn’t use lube and barely prepped you— not to mention the fact that you rarely do anal.

“Since I’m so nice, I’m gonna give you a warning; I’m speeding up now.” You choked on a moan after the first hard thrust, then whimpered at the sharp sting on your ass, this time on your other cheek. “Stop whining. I did warn you, it’s not my fault you didn’t listen.”

His thrusts only got harder and faster. You slipped up on a particularly brutal one and he went back to your other ass cheek— that was when the tears started falling again. You pressed your hand harder against your mouth and squeezed your eyes shut, but his movements only got rougher and you slipped up again.

Doing your best to stay quiet, you kept repeating to yourself that you only have one more chance, but this felt impossible. How can he expect you to be completely quiet during something like this? Especially when he’s cutting you too.

You tried to cry silently, but when a sob accidentally came out, your heart dropped. You winced at the sting of another cut, then started babbling out pleas and apologies.

“Please— it was an accident. Please, I’m sorry.” You whimpered. He let out a heavy sigh and his hips slowed to a stop.

“It’s okay, baby. Make all the noise you want.”

“What?” You asked quietly, taking in a sharp breath when he pulled all the way out. He got off of the bed and you turned your head to watch him with furrowed brows.

“Stay.” He ordered, pointing the knife at you. You obeyed and he walked over to grab your dress, then laid it down next to you on the bed. “On your back, ass on your dress.” You tentatively turned over and sat on the dress, but immediately turned back onto your stomach with a hiss of pain.

“It hurts.” You frowned.

“It’s gonna hurt a whole lot more if you don’t do what I say.” He raised his brows and you whined quietly, but got onto your back again. It was less painful laying down, but the pressure still hurt. “Good girl. You keep following those survival instincts and you might just make it out of this alive.” It sounded like he was joking… but you were also pretty sure that he was being completely serious.

Moving to the foot of the bed, he grabbed your ankles and roughly pulled you down, making you cry out as the pain on your ass flared up. He quickly undressed and you tried not to stare at his body too much— you didn’t want to give him another reason to mock you. When he got on the bed again and started moving toward your head, you suddenly realized what was happening.

“No,” You whimpered, shaking your head.

“What happened to those instincts? I mean, seriously, who says no to the person holding them at knife point?” He chuckled. Your eyes shifted to the weapon still in his hand.

“Please don’t.” You tried again.

“Getting warmer.” He said teasingly. “I’ll give you a hint; drop a word, then you’ll get it.” You frowned and shook your head, biting your lip. He laughed quietly and kept moving until he was behind your head. When you tried to sit up, he blocked your path with the knife, making you stiffen, but fall back down.

“Final warning. I’m done fucking your ass and your cunt for now— Either open your mouth or I’ll make a hole somewhere else and fuck that instead.” Your eyes widened and your breath caught in your throat. He had to be bluffing… right? “Trust me when I tell you I’ve done worse.” Okay maybe he’s not bluffing…

“Will you just— not do it like before please? I almost threw up.” You said quietly, too scared to speak any louder.

“Why exactly should I do that? All you’ve done is make things harder for me.”

“I- I’m sorry… I’ll behave, I promise.” He raised his brows, seemingly not believing you, making you try harder. “Please, Jackson.”

“We’ll see. Arms above your head.” You frowned, but obeyed, and he straddled your arms, pinning them to the bed with his legs. “I feel any teeth, you’ll need stitches. Understand?” You glanced nervously between his cock and the knife.

“Yes.” You whispered. He positioned himself over your face and you opened your mouth, waiting, trying not to think about where his cock just was. He placed it inside and you closed your lips as he slowly pushed in deeper. When he met the resistance of your throat, he stopped, then slowly pulled back, making you all but sigh in relief. He only fucked you a few more times before pushing in and staying there, the tip brushing the back of your mouth.

“Remember what I said about teeth.” You were confused about why he said that because you were pretty sure your teeth hadn't touched him at all.

Pain erupted through your chest and you almost thought you imagined it, but when it turned into a white hot burning sensation, you knew you hadn’t. You screamed around him and tried to move your arms out from under his legs. When that was unsuccessful, you started thrashing and he smacked your clit, making you cry out.

“If you keep moving, I’ll have to start over.” Your chest went from a deep throbbing to the sharp pain again and you let out a broken sob, your eyes burning as they filled with tears.

With the pain, his cock in your mouth, and the way you were hyperventilating, you felt like you were going to pass out again. You welcomed it though— you prayed you wouldn’t have to endure this any longer.

But you didn’t. You remained conscious, your lungs burning along with your chest. You wanted to bite him— to do anything to get him to stop— but you had no reason to believe that he wouldn’t follow through on his threat. Not with the way he was so easily cutting you and ignoring your cries.

Your sounds alternated between screams and violent sobs and after a few seconds of that, he huffed, then pushed in deeper. You choked on the sudden intrusion in your throat and he let out a low groan, continuing with whatever it was he was carving on your body. When you tried to scream, only a garbled whimper came out.

“Be as loud as you want. No consequences this time.” You could practically hear the smirk in his voice. Now that he was fully sheathed in your mouth, his balls rested against your nose, limiting your breathing even more. It was getting harder to tell if the nausea was because of the constant pressure on your gag reflex, or from the pain.

He finally stopped, then pulled out of your mouth not long after. You coughed at first, but quickly resumed crying.

“God— will you shut up?” He reached out and you flinched away from him, squeezing your eyes shut. “Oh you poor thing.” He cooed, cupping your cheek. You jerked away from his touch and your sobs intensified. “You must be so scared. It’s okay, it’s over now.” He said softly, moving his hand to pet your hair.

“That means stop crying.” His voice was significantly more harsh and you couldn’t help it when you cried even harder. “Jesus..” He muttered. You felt the bed move, then heard his footsteps, but you didn’t dare change your position. His hands suddenly wrapped around your ankles and he yanked you even farther down the bed, making a sob catch in your throat as your eyes snapped open. You stared at his blurry figure, watching him wrap your legs around his body, lining his cock up with one of your holes— you weren’t sure which one. When you looked down and saw the jagged lines, you let out a broken whimper that turned into a mewl when he pushed inside your cunt.

“I know… But don’t you just look so much prettier branded with my initials?” Squeezing your eyes shut, you continued crying, feeling too overwhelmed now that you felt full. “I couldn’t cut too deep because of the mess, but I think I cut deep enough to leave a scar.” He said proudly and a strangled sob left you, making him chuckle. “You may be crying but we both know you like that. Why else would your cunt have squeezed my cock so hard?”

You shook your head with a whimper. Sure you’ve read about this kind of stuff and fantasized about it, but you never wanted it to actually happen. You never wanted any of this to actually happen. Maybe this was karma for reading so many fucked up books— the universe’s way of punishing you for liking it.

He started fucking you, bringing you out of your thoughts. And the overwhelming pain was starting to compete with the overwhelming pleasure.

“I know I said I’d keep my word, but technically I never said what I’d do after our little game. Plus, you should probably be branded anyway if you’re going to be breeding stock for sale, right?” You don’t know how he was able to say something like that so casually.

“No..” You whimpered, shaking your head.

“No? Why not?” He asked innocently, tilting his head a little. His thrusts never faltered through your conversation though.

“Please.” You whined, feeling another wave of tears approach. “Please— I‘m sorry…”

“But you’d look so pretty with your belly nice and full.”

“Please, Jackson.” You cried.

“Shh. Don’t talk back.” He presented the knife that you didn’t realize was still in his hand and your stomach dropped as the throbbing in your chest flared up at the reminder of what just happened. “Can’t believe you’re this scared of a tiny little knife.” Technically you’re scared of the knife in his hands… you didn’t say that though.

He moved the blade down to trail the tip over your inner thigh, making you tense up. He let out a low groan as his hips stuttered for just a moment before he resumed the steady pace.

“I’d put the knife down and focus on fucking you, but your cunt gets so tight when I do this.” He moved to your other thigh and did the same thing, lightly dragging it up the soft skin, leaving a pink line behind. “You can’t really blame me can you?” He chuckled. You stayed perfectly still, not wanting to be cut again. You were barely even able to focus on his words.

“But if you really hate it so much, I guess I can think of another way to get your pathetic little pussy to squeeze my cock.” He removed the knife and set it on the bed before grabbing your hips to help control his thrusts. “Rub your clit.” He ordered. You shook your head, not wanting to be forced to do something that would actually help you enjoy this.

“Seriously?” He scoffed a laugh. “Your options are that or the knife and you’re saying no?” He asked in disbelief, making you frown. Your gaze shifted to the knife on the bed next to you and you swallowed down a whimper as you slowly reached your hand between your legs. “There you go.” He cooed when your fingers met your clit. “I doubt I need to tell you what will happen if I’m not satisfied with your effort?”

“No…” You muttered, rubbing your clit harder and faster because of his warning.

“Good girl. Make that pussy milk my fucking cock.” He groaned and you flushed at the vulgarity of his words as thrusts sped up, rapidly pounding your hole. Your tits were moving embarrassingly, but that feeling wasn’t as prominent as the pain on your chest when the skin stretched with each thrust.

Despite your revulsion for him and his current actions, you wanted to get close. You wanted your brain to stop focusing on all of the mental and physical pain and just let you forget— if only for a few seconds. You just needed a break— from crying and screaming and the aching and throbbing, and from him.

“You’re awfully quiet.” He noticed.

“I thought you wanted me to stop crying.” Your voice was raspier than you’d ever heard it. Based on his expression though, your tone clearly didn’t sound the way you meant it to; small and obedient.

“What’d I say about talking back, huh?”

“I- I’m sorry. I didn’t mean for it to come out like that. I just… wanted to make sure that I was still doing what you wanted.” You said quietly, fear blooming in your chest once again.

“That would’ve been a good save if you didn’t add on the obvious lie.”

“I wasn’t— I wasn’t lying…” You whimpered, making him scoff.

“I don’t believe you but I’m close enough that I don’t care right now.” You all but breathed a sigh of relief. “Faster.” He ordered, so you sped up your fingers, your breath hitching at the slightly more intense pleasure. The cuts on your ass and chest have dulled now, mostly overshadowed by his cock ramming into you and your fingers stimulating your clit. You bit your lip to try and stifle your moans, but there was no chance— you’re too tired to put all of your energy into something as pointless as that.

Even though your body was begging for an orgasm, your mind couldn’t let yourself do that, not after what he just did to you. But his cock was hitting that perfect spot inside of you that made your eyes roll back into your head and your fingers were working even harder, voluntarily. You were solely relying on him coming before you had a chance to, but with how rapidly you were approaching the edge, you weren’t sure that’d happen.

“Look at you… Are you close?” He cooed and you squeezed your eyes shut, shaking your head. “No? It seems like you are.” He said teasingly.

“Fuck— please just come.” You choked out, gripping the sheets with your free hand as your chest heaved.

“Poor thing. You can’t hold it, can you?” His voice was still laced with the patronizing, sweet tone. You whimpered and kept your eyes squeezed shut, trying not to give in to the pleasure. “Maybe I should finally give you what you want.”

“No.” You said quickly, back arching a little as a low moan escaped you.

“But you were crying and begging for it earlier. What changed, hm?” You let out a choked sob and turned your head to the side even though your eyes were already closed. “You worried it'll make you have to admit to yourself that you liked it? That you liked me raping your ass and carving my initials into you?”

“Stop,” You whimpered.

“No. You’re going to come and if you stop rubbing your clit, I’ll cut off those fingers. Understand?”

“Jackson…” You sobbed out, unable to say anything else.

“Do you understand?” He repeated, his tone making you shiver.

“Y-yes.” You whispered. His pace became even faster and harder somehow, almost punching the breath out of you with each thrust. When you could feel yourself on the edge, you let out a choked sob, trying— uselessly— to bring yourself back down.

“I think you need a reminder of what made you come.” He said suddenly. Your moan cut off into a cry when he ran two fingers over his initials and you opened your eyes just in time to see him shove them in your mouth. You gagged at the coppery taste, then again when he forced them to the back of your mouth, purposefully pushing down on your tongue to make you gag. “Suck.” He ordered. You did your best to shake your head with the intrusion in your mouth, letting out a garbled whimper when you could barely move. “Now.” He forced them in impossibly deeper, making you choke and bring your hand up to claw at his arm.

“Fine.” He removed his fingers and you gasped in a breath, trying not to throw up at the taste of your own blood lingering on your tongue. You let out a broken sob when he swiped his fingers over the wound again, this time using more pressure and staying there longer. When he finally removed them, he immediately brought his hand up to wipe across your lips and cheek. You cringed at the mixture of your own saliva and blood, and kept your lips tightly sealed so you couldn’t taste any.

He moved his hand to your neck, squeezing hard enough to make you choke and gasp for air. Leaning down over you with a dark look in his eyes, he spat on your already messy face, and you let out a choked moan, making him push down on your windpipe to cut off the sound.

The knot of arousal in your stomach finally snapped and if he wasn’t preventing you from making any noise, your sounds would’ve been almost anguished moans. Instead, all you could let out was a quiet wheeze. Because of all of the build up, your orgasm hit you hard, making your body shake as your crying picked up again.

Even after you finished, he kept his hand firmly on your throat, desperately bucking his hips into you, chasing his own orgasm now. Your hand slowed to a stop but you were too tired to move it anywhere else, so it remained trapped between your bodies. Just as your eyes started growing heavy and your head felt light and dizzy, he buried himself to the hilt with a low groan, putting his face in the crook of your neck. You could faintly hear his moans and feel hot come filling you up, but it was hard to focus on anything other than your inability to breathe and the feeling of losing consciousness.

He suddenly loosened his grip and you wheezed in a breath, coughing and trying to gasp in air as your head rushed with the sudden blood flow. He panted for a moment, then leaned back up and pulled out, making you hiss because of how sensitive you were.

Hour three

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awkwardandeccentric · 6 months ago

Text

Part of the reason why I kin Stolas so much is because my own father survived two different domesticly abusive relationships.

So, now that that’s out of the way.

Octavia sees her mother abusing Stolas but mentally puts them both on equal footing. “Are you two done screaming at each other for the day?” and “Why does he hate her more than he loves me?”

She doesn’t know that he’s spent the last 17-18 years taking physical, emotional, and psychological abuse to give Octavia a “normal life” (I really hope Octavia never finds out she was conceived via rape. I don’t think Stolas will ever tell her because that would shatter her). She doesn’t know about his severe drinking problem that he uses to not feel all the misery. I don’t know if she knows about the SSRIs but considering how much Stolas keeps secret, she most likely doesn’t.

Octavia right now is angry with her father because, in her mind, her dad and mother loved each other and then her dad did a completely 180 by cheating with an imp and then firing back at all of Stella’s verbal assaults with no rhyme or reason. She is also going through trauma and that deserves to be acknowledged.

The thing about escaping domestic violence is your kid will never not be traumatized by it. If you stay, they’re traumatized by the abuser. If you leave, they’re traumatized by the sudden loss of stability, even if that stability was toxic and terrible. The best you can do is hope to mitigate the damage (but please if you have any doubts on whether to stay in an abusive relationship, the answer is always ‘no.’ Leave while you’re still alive).

I am not and will never victim blame Stolas. Escaping domestic violence is already as hard as swimming from the Pacific to the Atlantic without a life vest. I don’t blame him for not knowing this isn’t normal and that he deserves better. I don’t blame him for not wanting to leave Octavia without a mother (even if the mother is evil incarnate). I don’t blame him for 17-18 years of his survival mode working on overdrive and him not being able to see ahead how not kicking Stella to the curb the millisecond the egg was laid could damage his child down the line. I don’t blame him for putting his whole reason for not kill himself on Octavia, as unhealthy as that dynamic is.

But I also hope Octavia gets to a place where she doesn’t hate him for all this. Stolas can be selfish, but this isn’t one of those times. He found a lifeline in the form of a stupid red lizard (affectionate) and he’s gripping as hard as he can because he’s going to drown if he doesn’t. And to be honest? Taking some of that toxic energy off Octavia is a good thing. It’s not fair for her to be his sole reason for not killing himself. Again, don’t blame him for it- my birb husband has been tredding water for 17-18 years and needed some lifeline, any lifeline- but that doesn’t make it healthy.

I don’t want Octavia to know every dirty detail of her parents’ relationship. But I hope she finds healing in the knowledge that her father loves her more than all the rings of Hell combined and he’s spent 17-18 years trying to make it to the next morning just to make sure she’s okay. I hope she knows that he will protect her in the way he was never protected.

Great now I’m crying I have to call my dad.

#helluva boss #stolas #octavia #domestic violent relationships #rape mention #suicide mention #victim blaming gets you blocked onsite #I am not here for it

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wangxianficfinder · 1 year ago

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Fic Finder

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1. In search of another fic! This time I'm looking for a fic where wwx was taken in by lqr and grows up in cloud recesses. I think there's a scene where an adult/older teen wwx requests that lqr formally adopt him, or lqr asks to formally adopt wwx. Either way, many heartwarming feelings! I think lwj might also formally request to speak to lqr about courting wwx in this fic. Thank you!

FOUND? All will be well when the day is done by abCEE (T, 76k, wangxian, Canon Divergence, Fix It, Not Jiang Family Friendly, not JFM or YZY friendly, Definitely not YZY centric, Time Travel, Butterfly Effect, Madam Lán Lives, No Sunshot Campaign, Unreliable Narrator, not JC friendly, non-yunmeng WWX, Accidental Baby Acquisition, Good Uncle LQR, Happy Ending, WWX gets the love and care that he deserves from the very beginning, WWX Isn't Adopted by the Jiāngs, verbal and physical (c/o Zidian) abuse from YZY)

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2. Hello. First time doing this so hope I'm doing it right. I'm looking for a fic I read ages ago but I can't remember the name. What I remember is that it's a Modern AU and Wei Ying was sent to boarding school (Gusu) where he was roomed with Lan Zhan. It was just him and he had a hard time adjusting before things slowly got better. He went home for the holidays and found out that he was blood related to Jiang Feingman and did not really handle that well and left home to go back to school. Last thing I remember happening is that he got tricked into picking up a call from JFM when he thought it was Yanli? If you know this fic, is really appreciate some help @cara-tanaka

FOUND? I want to stay with you by Naeme (T, 63k, WangXian, Modern AU, Slow Burn, High School, Age Progression, Family Secrets, Family Drama, Family Feels, Bonding, Mutual Pining)

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3. Hello, I’m looking for a specific WangXian fic, similar to “shoot your shot -hot or knot”. It features dark Lans where Lan Xichen sets up a mating run for his brother and Wei Ying signs up for the money. I remember a scene where all the contestants are asked to line and sign a contract and someone tries to escape. He gets shot and the rest of the contestants are warned not to try to run away. I think Lan Zhan is a feral/dominant Alpha. I believe he killed a few other contestants before making his way to Wei Ying. Hope you’re able to find it! Please and thank you 😊 @confundo

FOUND! Five Fifteen by 3neetee (M, 11k, WangXian, Modern AU, A/B/O Dynamics, Alpha LWJ, Alpha WWX, Mating runs, Graphic Description, Violence, Dom/sub Undertones, Light Bondage, Rape/Non-con Elements, Alpha/Alpha, Implied Mpreg, Dark LWJ, Betrayal, Smut, Anal Sex, WWX likes to be called Omega, Dark lans, Twitter threadfic, Unreliable Narrator WWX) locked to archive members only

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4. I’m looking for a Modaozushi Fanfic

I read this fanfic months ago. it is fic where wen qing asks for protection from wei ying, who is either a spirit or an immortal (he is definitely not human),for the wen remnants in exchange for their service for some time.

i think lan zhan (who was a winter lord or something) visits them after some time.

the story had not gone far when i had read it.

please help me find it.

FOUND? A Year and a Day by Admiranda (T, 11k, WIP, Unseelie AU, wwx is a fairy lord, making bargains with the fey, background wangxian, minor OCs, agenda: give wei wuxian some better siblings) the asker looking for the fic where WQ makes a bargain with WWX is likely looking for my Unseelie fic, in which WWX is the autumn Fey lord and LWJ is the winter prince. It is not cancelled, but the next chapter has been absolutely evil and refusing to write itself.

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5. Hii I remember this fic that happened at Phoenix mountain hunt , the blindfolded kiss scene, where wwx knew it was lwj because chenqing or the resentment didn't attack lwj , cause it knew him (recognized him) or something like that. @karinasnowwwx

FOUND? No one else but you by chrisemrys (M, 17k, wangxian, canon divergence, First Kiss, Stolen Kiss, Love Confessions, Fix-It, Everyone Lives au, Semi sentient resentful energy, Golden Core Reveal, Fluff and Hurt/Comfort, First Time)

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6. pls help me find this fic

A) i am doing this for the first time, Thank you already for all the efforts. i lost a twitter fic i read ago and forgot to save. Its info that i remember is as- TW // NSFW, MPREG..............it was a omegaverse types fic, lan zhan slept with wei ying, they did stuff. lan zhan ran away at night nd collapsed in the streets due to something related to omega-alpha thing, i dont exactly remember. then he's hospitalised for some time nd his brother lan huan stays with him. wei ying had no idea about lan zhan's conditions and lan huan thinks that lan zhan is in this condition because of wi ying so he starts hating him and tries his best to keep his brother away from wei ying......................they meet in a school programme again, where they play their guqin nd flute, towards the end wei ying is saved by lan zhan from an accident nd they r really close, again, lan zhan faints. lan huan comes, and takes lan zhan away. wei ying is pregnant nd wen wind knows it, she taks care of him. lan huan hides this info from lan zhan, who discovers it only when he overheard wen qing and lan huan talking when wen qing came to fetch lan zhan because wei ying's condition was getting worse without his a/b/o partner (doctor advised it). then, lan zhan goes to wei ying nd comfortshim, he sleeps but when he wakes up, he doesn't accept lan zhan nd technically hates him but they start taking things slowly nd improve. after a while, they r normal, they live in wen qing's apartment, lan zhan often feels distant and stays awake alone at night, wei ying is worried for him. he takes best care of wei ying but not himself. one day wen qing visits wei ying when lan zhan is out and tells him and she cam smell her scent nd not lan zhan's and that might be reason why lan zhan doesn't feel fine, because he is in other person's territory. wei ying calls lan qiren and asks help for a new place. rest, i dont remember, sorry. this is killing my brain

B) tw//nsfw it was a twt soc med au, wy was a singer/idol, got laid in a party(bday mayb), finds lan zhan later, lan zhan is the man. towards the end, he releases a whole song/album regarding his story, from getting laid to falling in love with lan zhan. in the mean time when he was preparing it as a bday gift, he gave less time to lz and he thought he was ignoring him. that's all i remember sorry, its stuck so bad, i cant forget it. there was a cover for the single/album too i dont remember @dee-s085

6A)

FOUND! Twitter Thread by babyofgusu

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7. Hi, I’m so sorry to have to ask this, it’s frankly embarrassing, but here we are. I was reading one of the fics you recommended for an itmf (I think the original request was something with soulbonding) and my app closed. Now you would think finding it again would be easy, but I had scrolled a few months back by the time I found it and now fro the life of me can’t find it. So here’s the premise: CQL post canon, WWX wakes after banishing a spirit at an old manor and finds himself in pain. Turns out he and LWJ got cursed to be close, when they’re touching the pain recedes. I got maybe halfway through where they decided to visit the manor since the library didn’t deliver results. Would you be so kind to direct me to the correct fic/itmf post? You Guys are amazing, have a nice weekend ❤️ @elitharavenclaw

Hi, #7 of the last fic finder, sadly those fics are both not it. Theres not really more detail to tell though, but I will try. WWX is found by two rogue cultivators who treat him fine, he travels back to cloud recess for 2 days with little apple, sizhui and Jingyi help researching, LQR is disapproving of wangxians “unseemlieness” though he knows they’re cursed, they do check the forbidden section of the library but without success. Hope this helps.

NOT FOUND! So Why Not Crack Your Skull When the Mind Swells by greenteafiend (E, 13k, wangxian, Hurt/Comfort, Curses, Case Fic, Mutual Pining, Getting Together, Confessions, Drunkenness)

NOT FOUND! All in Good Time by bigboobedcanuck (E, 8k, WangXian, Post-Canon, First Kiss, First Time, POV LWJ, Top LWJ, Pining LWJ, Protective LWJ, Bottom LWJ, Protective WWX, Top WWX, Pining WWX, Idiots in Love, Gūsū Lán Juniors Dynamics, Good Kid LSZ, Branding, Scars, Worry, Protectiveness) thought it was one i read a while ago but-according to my giant note i keep a list of all my fav untamed fics lol- its lwj who is cursed not wwx!

FOUND? You'd Break Your Heart to Make It Bigger by vesna (mrsronweasley) (E, 32k, WangXian, soulbonding, First Time, Case Fic if You Squint, Fools in Love, soul boning, soft fools in love, Pining while fucking) With the two rogues, this sounds like "You'd Break Your Heart To Make It Bigger"

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8. Hello darlings! I'd like to ask for your help finding a fic that i cannot find anymore... it's a wangxian AU set in 1800 England, kinda. I think wei ying is a fan of this mysterious writer who wrote a fantasy novel and of course the writer is lan zhan (or viceversa?). It's a 5 chapter fic written like it's jane austen's book! And the writer added extract of this book wei ying is a fan of! It's an amazing fic with a fanart of this book. I was sure that the fics name was the monster of yiling, but i cannot find it . Thank you in advance even if it can't be found 🥰 @jaecomments

FOUND! Restraint and Revelation: or, The Necromancer of Yiling by Lirelyn (T, 16k, wangxian, Regency au, Gothic, Story within a Story, Pining, LWJ's horny imagination)

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9. Hi! I'd like help finding this one fic. It's set in the cloud recesses during the lectures, LWJ is cursed by a group of Elders so he acts like the perfect Lan (or something) and WWX is the only one who notices, I remember he tried to bring it up to others (or at least Lan Qiren) but no one believed him, Only LXC does (once he returns - from somewhere, I don't know where). I also remember that a bit form LWJ perspective mentioning that they wanted to curse LXC too, but it would be too obvious. @i-like-snakes-and-spiders

FOUND! The Meaning of Silence by The Silverfish (ZephyrAndTheSilverfish) (T, 14k, wangxian, Mind Manipulation, Hurt/Comfort, Angst, Pining)

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10. hello! i wanted to find a fic where wangxian were resident doctors, they were kinda friends but turned into lovers. it was explictly rated as far as i remember! thank you!

FOUND? Anginal Equivalents by fakeplasticlily (E, 23k, wangxian, modern, Medical Residents AU, Childhood Friends, Mutual Pining, Oblivious WWX, Sexual Content, Podfic Available)

FOUND? Year Of Night Call by ailuridae (abigailnicole) (T, 22k, WangXian, XuanLi, Modern AU, What If Cultivators Were All Surgeons AU, surgery AU, Our Boys Are Trauma Fellows Now, The Lan Babies Are Surgery Interns, trauma fellows share a call room, and there was only one bed, hospital au, Medicine AU)

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11. I’m looking for the Fic where Wei Ying goes missing in high school and is homeless. Lan Zhan finds him at a coffee shop and buys him coffee and doesn’t recognize him at first. He gives him a coat. He brings Wei Ying to stay at his place. I believe wangji might be a single parent and have pet bunnies. Huaisang was best friends with Wei Ying & reconnects with him while he’s at wangji’s. Wei Ying goes missing again and xichen watches the bunnies while wangji searches and finds him out in the cold.

FOUND! Where You Fell by Sweet_William (E, 303k, wangxian, 3zun, JC/NHS, JYL/JZX, modern, Angst, Mutual Pining, Homeless, Getting Together, Slow Burn, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, accidental sugar daddy LWJ, Suicidal Thoughts, Self-Esteem Issues, Coffee Shops & Cafés au, Autistic Character, WWX Has ADHD, Panic Attacks, Hurt/Comfort, Implied/Referenced Sex Work, Implied/Referenced Substance Abuse, Eventual Happy Ending)

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12. Hi, I’m in need a bit of a help I’m struggling to find a wangxian fic, it’s involved wei wuxian and the wen refugees in the burial mound and some how they find in the burial mound they find the fountain of youth (or something like that) and they make a shop for makeup or something like that and sell it and wei wuxian dresses as a girl and I think other stuff happens but can’t fully remember. I was trying to find this fic but I can’t find it anywhere and I’m unsure if it’s been deleted or something, if you could help me find it or know if it’s been removed, I would really appreciate it, thank you.

FOUND? Fruit-Bearing Pool by rei_moon (T, 46k, WIP, wangxian, Mpreg, Crack Treated Seriously, Magical Pregnancy, Magical Pool, Out of Character, Inspired by Journey to the West’s Motherhood River, Historical Inaccuracy, WWX became a business mogul to feed his growing family, Minor OCs, Slow Build, Attempt at Humor, Crossdressing, For disguise purposes, Fix-It of Sorts, WWX and JZX being human disasters together, Misunderstandings)

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13. Hi, I was hoping to get some help with finding a fanfiction. The drescription is that Wwx tries to have naughties with Mianmian but can't perform so he goes to Lwj who lives in his mothers old house thinks about how he'd let wwx destroy the house because it was his mothers jail. They then talk and lwj tells wwx to do what he did with mm and he gets hard and they bone on the couch. The only other detail is a food scented candle that wwx got lwj that he lights? Idk sorry that's all I've got lol. @yilingweiclan

FOUND? Oh, 13 I think is sadly the deleted work "So he thinks he straight (a memoir by Lan Zhan)" by Pancho. I know there are people with copies floating around, you'll have to ask

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14. Twitter Wangxian socmed au, they r teleported to modern world, wei ying finds lz through a guqin post on insta with bunny dp. They meett..... xue yang is the villain who harms xiao xichen using suibian so the blame is diverted to wy but lz trusts him and song lan is angry from wy sonwy goes undercover. Lz tried to find him, helps him get the truth to song lan. xue yang acts like a good friend towards song lan but at the end, truth is revealed, xue yang is the villain, jin guangyao too is oresent, the mastermind behind xue yang. Its happy ending. @dee-s085

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15. Hello, I'm looking for a wangxian fic with wlw WX, in a modern AU where the Lans are secretly cultivators, but LWJ is a landscape designer. WWX is using the Baoshan name and is a cultivator that came down the immortal mountain to stop Wens from fucking the world over with Yin Tie by marrying Wen Chao and then killing off all the Wens, ending up wildly wealthy. She then goes after the Jin by being engaged to Meng Yao. LWJ is "investigating" WWX because LXC just wants to make sure A-Yao's fiance really loves him. @xxqiao

FOUND! Widow's Weeds by travelingneuritis (E, 18k, wangxian, modern cultivation, Gardens & Gardening, Wedding Planning, wedding thwarting, rich people are terrible, Light-Hearted, Smut, Gender Changes, Getting Together, offscreen deaths played for laughs, this is meant to be silly don't worry about it, Scheming, Plotting, wwx and jgy are accidentally-on-purpose bearding each other but i keep it PG, wwx running laps around the entire jin sect)

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16. Hey, thanks so much for your service! I'm looking for a fic that's very Lan Xichen focused, from what I remember after wangxian's happy ending he's left coming to terms with the past, in an effort to make a change for the future generations he destroys the Lan punishment implements and strikes away the rules on the stone that don't are not true to the founder's will @glassboner

FOUND? Twelve Moons and a Fortnight by stiltonbasket (M, 290k, WangXian, Humor, Slow Burn, Post-Canon Fix-It, Long-Distance Relationship, Epistolary, Love Letters, Family Feels, a-qing lives, teenage romance, Adoption, Romantic Comedy, Happy Ending, Weddings, Case Fic, Parenthood, Politics) I don't know if 16 might be Twelve Moons and a Fortnight by stiltonbasket but that fic has an scene exactly like the one described. It's not totally Xichen centric and wangxian are not together yet but it might be, idk.

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17. I'm hoping you can help me find this fic. It's a shorter fic from Lan Qiren's pov. It starts with him sitting in an inn next to four teenage boys. He recognizes one as Lan Xichen. There's a flashback to Lan Qiren not stopping a pregnant Madam Lan from escaping with Lan Xichen. It ends with Lan Qiren and Lan Xichen talking. The other boys at the table were Jiang Cheng and Wei Wuxian. Thanks for any help!

NOT FOUND! The Dreams of Youth by sami (E, 86k, wangxian, Canon Divergence, Time Travel, Fix-It, Family, Canon-Typical Violence, Canon-Typical Gore, Not Lan Sect Friendly, Bad Dads, good dads, JFM's A+ parenting, QHJ's F- Existence, Childhood Friends to Lovers, Sort Of, Hurt/Comfort, Explicit Sexual Content, Mothers Who Live, Additional Warnings In Author's Note, Not Everyone Dies au, Canonical Character Death)

FOUND! leave the ruins where they fall by tardigradeschool (G, 4k, WangXian, Found Family, Canon Divergence, Hair Braiding, Slice of Life, LQR apologism, Family Fluff Childhood Friends)

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18. Hey there hope you are doing fine . So I was searching for a wangxian fanfic which is based in modern times and in this wang ji asks for xian's help to look after his pet spirit rabbit, so he invites him in his apartment and xian cause need the job came ( jiang family has already kicked xian out after taking his golden core) while looking after rabbit the pet came to realize that xian is hurt badly and the story goes on like this ... Please help me find it ... @legendarywarrior99

FOUND? the soft animal of your body by sysrae (T, 15k, wangxian, modern cultivation, Golden Core Reveal, Hurt/Comfort, Whump, Animal Transformation, Shapeshifting, Getting Together, Confessions)

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19. hello, i was just in the middle of reading a fic and accidentally closed tumblr. It was a link to a03, but it isn’t in my history. Jiang Cheng is raising Wen Yuan as the Jiang Sect heir. When Lan Wangji sees them he moves to Lotus Pier to help raise him along with Jin Ling. At some point Mo Xuanyu alerts Jiang Cheng and Qin Sui about Jin Guangyao’s plots and they decide to raise Wei Wuxian from the dead to help and Lan Wangji is angry they are trying to use WWX again and decides to hunt down Xue Yang. He and Mian Mian run into Song Lan and join up to search and then.. I closed it by mistake. Any clue what the name of this fic is? @julnyes

FOUND! The Sun Sets Like a Whispered Regret by OrdinaryRealities (T, 41k, WangXian, Resurrect Your Gays, LWJ and JC enemies to brothers, Minor Character Death, Kidfic, Sort Of, Happy Ending)

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20. Hello! I am looking for a WangXian fic where Wangji runs away to the countryside and becomes roommates with Ying who I think runs an aesthetic farm-life youtube channel? I remember the fic was really beautifully written in how it described the old houses, countryside, local festivals, etc and you could practically “see” the filmography of the videos. I also remember a scene where Ying takes all the local kids to go hand fishing in the river. Thank you for your help!

FOUND! 🧡 【那夏天的我們】 a stroke of fate by puddingcatbeans (G, 59k, WangXian, Modern AU, Fluff, Slice of Life, Falling In Love, Summer, Barakamon AU, renowned musician lwj escapes to tiny village and falls in love with local farmer boy wwx, good times only, YouTuber WWX, Food)

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#wangxian #mdzs #wangxianficfinder #the untamed #wangxian fic finder #long post #wangxian fic search

137 notes · View notes

fauxsunlight · 21 hours ago

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I only consider myself a very casual fan of mouthwashing because I don’t think the gameplay is very fun and I find it very triggering to where I’d never watch or play it again, but I just need to speak my piece on something.

IF I SEE ANOTHER FUCKING PERSON CALL CURLY AN ABUSER/ENABLER/ACCOMPLICE/WHATEVER THE HELL

ONE MORE FUCKING TIME

I AM GOING TO JUMP OUT A GODDAMN WINDOW.

I’m gonna give y’all a cute little mental exercise mkay? I’m a rape victim. My abuser was my stepgrandpa, an old ass man. He repeatedly assaulted me over the course of roughly a decade, from when I was in elementary to high school. When it started, I didn’t even know what sex was, and I assumed it was just a normal thing that he was doing. It felt good.

Then I got older and learned more about sex, consensual and not. I constantly made excuses to myself, that it was okay because of whatever. I didn’t want to accept that someone I’d had a bond with for so long was an abuser.

Then he assaulted my mom. She was a terrible person for various other reasons and I am no-contact with her, but no one, not a soul, deserves to be raped.

It still haunts me, that I could’ve told someone and stopped that from happening. I could’ve gotten off my soapbox and gotten something done. But I also had to deal with the fear that reporting him would cause more trouble, that they’d just dismiss the case, and my abuser would violently turn against me.

It isn’t just black and white. Am I an abuser? An accomplice? Am I, in a sense, worse than him?

Those are all things I’ve heard about Curly.

If anything, I’m worse than him! I was in a position to do something. He couldn’t do jack shit!

Imagine being in a tiny space coffin. Imagine having to deal with the fact that your best friend, without warning, is a sexual abuser. You have to deal with the fact that Anya may be lying or misunderstanding something, because that sadly happens sometimes. He did the right thing by attempting to talk to Jimmy first thing to find out what was going on, because that’s just what you do in that sitch! You get more information. You can’t just act rashly.

Because what if you do? You just lost your pilot, and now no one knows how to get home safely. You need to keep the peace long enough to go back and get things sorted. You need to do it as soon as possible as well, before Anya gives birth, ideally, even though that might not be possible. He was under an ASTRONOMICAL amount of pressure. Someone in a scenario like that can’t just snap his fingers and fix everything. Just because you don’t run a rapist over with a pickup truck doesn’t mean you’re also to blame. That’s victim blaming. That’s what the abusers want. For everyone else to take responsibility. For distractions, for chaos, for denial.

And don’t get me FUCKING started on the “his disability was divine punishment” bullshit. Actually get the fuck out with that. It isn’t punishment, it’s a physically visible culmination of all the mental torment that Jambalaya put him through before.

A lot of you have never had friends or family outed as abusers and it shows. Those people get under your skin. They learn your every nuance, all the little details of how you work, and then make it impossible for you to make not only the right decision, but any decision at all other than helplessly watch as they fuck everything up.

Am I an abuser? Am I an accomplice?

It’s never “just fiction”. If you think this way about a simulated character, what will you say about your friend who’s in a similar position? What will you do when your own friend is outed as a predator?

#mouthwashing

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plague-of-insomnia · 9 months ago

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I ship sebaciel but I only like their dynamic, in my head I imagine an adult Ciel and I only read fanfics when Ciel is way over 18 and can decide by himself/not be manipulated. I was raped when I was 15, I could never ship something like that. But anti pro shippers never bother to see the nuance. I'm afraid if I start publicly shipping it, people will call me a pedo lol Also I think that the ones who like the age gap still can't be compared to real pedos who consume lolicon/ realistic drawings who REALLY resemble children and explicitly are in a setting of a child being molested. I see incels doing that, and the kuro fandom is mostly women.

Hi, anon. Sorry I didn’t reply yesterday. I had COVID a couple weeks ago and now have bronchitis and i just ran out of gas to formulate a response I felt this ask merited.

First of all, I’m sorry that happened to you. I hope you’ve been able to get past it enough that it doesn’t affect your daily life too badly 🫂.

Sadly, a lot of antis act as if they’re the only ones who have been victims of (sexual) abuse, and that any survivor who doesn’t behave the way they do either must be lying or “deserved” what they got— which is absolutely awful to do to anyone.

As I’m sure you’re aware, we’re not a monolith. Some survivors find rape play (whether role play or in fictional works) helps them move past their trauma because it helps them to have the control they didn’t have as victims. But others find it triggering and upsetting and not helpful at all— and that’s valid too.

I personally don’t ship sc anymore mostly because I just don’t click with Ciel in the ship the way I do with other pairings. I also personally get very very uncomfortable with some underage depictions. For example, there was a fantastic sc fan fic a few years ago that I had to stop reading. It is one of the best written works in the fandom, but it just made me so uncomfortable (it’s underage) I had to stop.

But what did I do? Did i leave the author an angry message saying I was not gonna read it? No, ofc not. I just clicked away.

So if for you, you need situations in which you feel Ciel can fully consent/is in control to feel comfortable and happy then that’s perfectly valid! There’s no one “right” way to ship anything, and you have to look out for yourself first. Because we come to fandom to have fun and escape, so no need to delve into things you don’t like or that make you uncomfortable.

Antis are incapable of seeing these kinds of nuances, or realizing that purposefully consuming content that upsets you is self harm.

Sadly, if you openly ship sc (or even aren’t absolutely against it) you may get some hate. I know I have gotten my share, and it’s *always* about Ciel, no matter how I’ve depicted other characters or what ages they are in my stories. But I’ve also gotten hate for being a fujoshi (misgendering me at that) more than once, and some of it even before I joined the fandom… for my original work.

My point is that people are gonna attack you if they’re gonna attack you…. if you’re not willing to take that risk by being public about your ship that’s valid too. I definitely get how exhausting antis can be and if you’re just wanting to stare at your blorbos for a bit you don’t wanna be fighting of negativity left and right too.

It’s a shame that antis have started using the word pedo as a word for anyone they dislike, devaluing it, but the real shame imo is that they refuse to see that actual CSEM is bad not because it’s gross or immoral but because it harms actual children, who grow up to be adults with trauma.

I think it’s very important to distinguish actual CSEM (or “fictional works” that were intentionally modeled off real CSEM) from anything that’s purely fictional. Because you can never really know why someone made something or why someone likes something.

I write about child abuse, sexual and not, a lot because I find it very therapeutic, but someone might read my works and may draw other, completely erroneous conclusions about me and my motives.

I honestly think a huge chunk of the kuro fandom is nonbinary, but I don’t really know the demographics. I’m sure they’re slightly different depending on if you’re looking at the western or eastern fandoms…

But women can be toxic just like anyone else. Some of the absolute most vile antis I’ve seen identify as female.

Ultimately, I think that the best thing to do with the fandom (or any fandom, really) is to curate your experience. Block accounts that trigger you or don’t vibe with you. Find like-minded friends to chat with in private, so you don’t have to worry about strangers hopping on what you say. Filter tags and use apps if you need to.

I think it’s a shame that antis are so vocal in the fandom and have divided it so much. As a multishipper not much into sc, I have definitely felt that fracture more than some others, since sadly too many non-sc shippers think they need to scream about how icky that ship is and be jerks when we could just ignore sc entirely and enjoy the other ships we like instead together?

But the no matter what antis claim, sc shippers have always been and will always be the column that holds the fandom up, and you either need to make peace with it or learn to ignore it.

🫶

My ask box is open for anyone who doesn��t feel comfortable being open about their love for kuro but would like to squee over it/the new series with someone who doesn’t mind listening :)

#sorry for the long ramble #i hope i made some sense #poi answers #black butler #anon #fandumb #tw csa mention #tw child abuse mention #tw rape mention #sebaciel #antis dni

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slowlyhardgoatee · 2 months ago

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Hehehe - bet you didn’t have ‘being sold into prostitution’ on your 2024 personal bingo card, did ya boy? No. Before I sent Krystal over to that guy’s house, he was still on the phone to me and while he was paying for her he mentioned he’d got a faggot he wanted to offload. Rather than him paying the full £1500 for Krystal, he offered to give you to me as part payment so he actually only ended up paying £250 to spend four hours fucking her in front of you. And I understand she was your wife, that right? Hahaha - that is hilarious. What a dumb faggot.

Well, I hope the taste of her pussy juice is still in your mouth, boy, because it’s the last time you’ll ever taste it. Just out of curiosity - how old are you, exactly? …Only 21? And you were already married? Wow. You look younger than 21. Shave that stubble off and you’d look MUCH younger. I bet you could pass for 18 no problem at all. Hmmm. In fact, I think that’s what I’m gonna brand you as. A newly out, young slim faggot twink just DAYS past his 18th birthday and looking for dirty old men to use and abuse him. Your previous Owner there tells me you do it all, boy. Piss drinking, fart worship, cum eating, the lot. Apparently you can take a good belting as well. And, as a little caveat… wait, how old’s your father? …55? Perfect. I’ll say your holes are exclusively to be used by men over 55. And the fatter, meaner and hairier, the better. I’ve been wanting to branch out into peddling faggot tail for ages, and fags fucking love being smacked around in my experience. Well, maybe they don’t love it, but they certainly deserve it.

Now - see that hair removal cream on the table there, boy? Fucking cover yourself in it. Everywhere from the nose down, faggot. I want you entirely hairless. I’ve got plenty more if you use up that tub. Don’t skimp on it, boy. Armpits, pubes and ball hair, arse crack, the works. I want you smooth. Good lad.

That you all covered? Good. You need to leave it on for a bit, so while you’re waiting you can suck my dick. I should probably sample the merchandise, anyway. I certainly did with your wife. And she had a baggy hole, you know. Must have been from all the Real Men’s dicks she was taking behind your back.

Speaking of which, look at that fat cock, boy. You’re gonna eat it like it’s your last meal. Slurp and slobber all over it, pig. Need it. Go on, boy, get it in your fucking mouth. Eat it. That’s the stuff, you slut. All the way down.

Yeah, fat hairy blokes your dad’s age are gonna pay top dollar for your barely legal cunt, boy. I’ll make sure of it. Looking forward to pimping your holes out to whoever I want for as much money as I want. Because that’s the other thing, boy. You’re a prostitute in name only - the reality is, you ain’t gonna see a penny. It’s all done by bank transfer, and the account’s in my name. Basically, you’re gonna spend the foreseeable future getting raped bareback by blokes older than your dad - maybe even old enough to be your granddad, boy, imagine that - for free, as far as you’re concerned.

Oh, and one more thing - if you think that cock cage is coming off just because you’ve been sold to a new Owner, boy, you’re very much mistaken. Bill handed me the key to that thing - and I laughed and snapped it in half. He laughed, and all. Then he watched me drop both halves down the nearest drain. You’re nothing but a pair of holes, boy. A proper public cum dump. Now hold still. My hand’s on the back of your head because I don’t want you thinking you can pull off of my cock before I want you to. My cream’s going straight down the back of your slut boy throat. Then you can wash off that hair removal stuff before I start selling you to hairy fat old men to get good and fucked. And believe me, faggot, there’ll be a queue. Here it comes, pig. Make sure you swallow the fucking lot.

#pigboy #daddybear #faggot slave #slave boy #breedpig #sirsslave #fiction #granddadcock

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fairycosmos · 2 months ago

Note

tw domestic abuse, inc*st, animal abuse (nothing too explicit, just to be safe)

hii do you have any advice for dealing with domestic abuse from family members (adult brothers)? he has threatened me in the past and tonight he did it again and spat on me, hit me, constantly alludes to wanting to rape me or working as a sex worker bc I’m currently unemployed and genuinely seems to enjoy to see me in such a low position where it to ever come to that. I have a job lined up starting next week but I still live at home, so does he btw! and yet he is so angry at me for being in the exact same position. he’s also a drug addict and drinks, a misogynistic right-winger and kind of a psychopath. he gets off on threatening me and idk what to do anymore. my dad told me I can‘t move out bc the pay isn‘t enough yet but idk what to do. I‘m also physically disabled which is why I went months without working this year but I was employed for the past four months and I have a new job soon and yet it aggravated him so much that I didn‘t work for the past two weeks, it‘s insane. like, it‘s obvious that he hates his job and is unsatisfied with his own life but he is so disgusting towards me. there‘s s lot of incest-y threats and jokes which scares me, sometimes more than the physical violence. like I just want to die every time it happens and idk what to do. I can‘t move out if my dad doesn‘t let me and I looked at women‘s houses but they‘re all full or won‘t take women like me, myb bc it‘s not severe enough. on top of that he abuses our dog, kicks him and seeks him out every night to do just that bc the dog sleeps downstairs and no one is around to witness it. my parents don‘t care. I was around to witness it tonight for the first time and he did it in front of me and when I told him to stop it he spat in my face and threatened me and I just can‘t stay here anymore. I‘m not from the uk but do you have any advice for me please? ❤️ sorry if this is worded weirdly I can‘t really concentrate right now

the way i want to beat the shit out of your brother and would given half the oppoortunity i'm so fucking serious. i’m so sorry you’re going through this. none of this is your fault. everything you’ve described is so beyond wrong, and you don’t deserve any of it. it’s so messed up that you’re being treated this way in what’s supposed to be your home. your brother’s behavior is abusive, terrifying, and just plain evil tbh and i wish there were real-life consequences for these types of men bc they never fucking learn. no wonder you feel overwhelmed and trapped—anyone would in your situation. i’m really glad you reached out because this is too much for anyone to handle on their own, and you shouldn’t have to.

what he’s doing things like spitting on you, hitting you, threatening you, making those disgusting, incestuous comments etc is beyond unacceptable and the fact that he’s also abusing your dog is just so fucking sick. people like him use power and fear to control others, and it’s clear he’s lashing out in every direction to feel some twisted sense of control. your dog is just as vulnerable as you are in this situation, and it's not fair that you both have to keep living in such a toxic environment. it’s not healthy, and it’s not okay - it pisses me off so much that anyone would deny you help because it's not "bad enough" when it sounds like an actual nightmare. you literally shouldn’t have to live like this.

i know it feels impossible to leave right now, especially with your dad saying you can’t move and your new job just starting. but i promise, there are steps you can take to get out—even if it feels really far away or impossible right now. your safety and your dog’s safety are the most important things here. if your brother becomes violent again or you feel like you’re in immediate danger, please consider calling emergency services. i know that can feel terrifying, especially if your family isn’t supportive, but emergency services or a local domestic violence hotline can step in and help. they’re trained for situations like this and you don't have to wait for it to get any "worse" to call the authorities or an ambulance if you feel unsafe.

since you’ve looked into women’s shelters and they’re full, it might help to keep calling or checking back. sometimes spots open up, or they might be able to connect you to other resources—like emergency housing, legal help, support with clothing/food/transportation, or even animal rescue organisations that can help protect your dog too. it’s worth asking if they know of any shelters or foster programs for pets from abusive households. there are groups out there that work specifically to help people and animals escape abuse, so please don't shy away from seeking that support. i know it's a lot easier said than done and none of it is as simple as just making a phone call and getting the help you need. but keep pushing forward with it bc honestly the sooner you get away from him the better tbh.

in the short term, is there anyone you can reach out to? a friend, teacher, coworker, or even someone you’re not super close with but who might be able to help if they knew what’s going on? sometimes people will surprise you when you let them know how serious things are. even if they can’t house you, just having someone to talk to can make a huge difference.

your new job starting soon is such a big step btw, and i’m so proud of you for pushing forward even with everything going on!! that takes so much strength. once you start earning, maybe you can start saving little by little to eventually get out, even if it feels slow. looking into shared housing or roommate options might help make it more affordable, and depending on where you live, there could be disability assistance programs that can help with housing or expenses. you deserve a space where you and your dog can feel safe and at peace and it's so messed up that you aren't able to feel that way in your own home rn.

and in the meantime, i know you’re doing everything you can to protect yourself, but please don’t forget to keep an eye out for your dog too. if you see him hurting your dog, maybe you can distract or call your dog to you if it’s safe to do so. when you leave, think about how to bring your dog with you or connect with an organization that can help temporarily house pets in situations like this. it breaks my heart to think of both of you stuck in this, but you’re not alone. there are people who want to help.

this is all so much to carry, and i just want to remind you to take it one step at a time. even if that step is just getting through today. if you can, try to find little ways to care for yourself—spend time with your dog, listen to music, write things down to process your feelings, whatever helps you feel a little grounded. you’ve already shown so much strength by reaching out, and that’s the first step toward getting out of this.

please keep reaching out, whether it’s to me, a hotline, or someone you trust. you and your dog both deserve to be safe and loved, and you’re not alone in this. you will get away from him. there is a whole life beyond him and his fucked up behaviour. i’m here for you, and i’ll help however i can. you’ve got this. one step at a time. please take care, i'm sending you so much love. x

resource / resource / resource / resource / resource / resource

international domestic abuse resources

global domestic violence resources

#anon #ask chloe #tw abuse #tw domestic violence

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serregon · 1 year ago

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so Baldur’s Gate is overall really good, but not without criticism, and I’m kinda pissed about Halsin becoming irrelevant and the portrayal of his trauma.

I’ve seen some players calling Halsin’s story boring and two-dimensional, and I wish I could say I disagree with them, but I honestly can’t, and he deserved better than what we got.

I really liked Halsin in acts 1 and 2, but it feels like he just doesn’t have much going for him in act 3. I get that he isn’t an origin character, so he isn’t going to have the same big arcs that the main six get, but it feels like the writers just didn’t know what to do with him after act 2. act 2 was pretty much the conclusion of his character arc, and act 3 is just him hitching along for the ride. the thing is, he isn’t even playable until you’re almost halfway into act 2. he’s only playable when his story is almost over.

the only quest Halsin gets in act 3 isn’t even exclusively his quest. he’s one of several characters who could be kidnapped by Orin. so odds are it isn’t going to be his story in your playthrough. that’s it for him. couldn’t he have a small sidequest, like maybe making amends with the tiefling refugees? what about a quest with Jaheira to find other druids in the city? or what about actually meeting those hastily tacked-on shadow druids? if he doesn’t have his own quest what’s the point of having him in my party anymore?

one thing we do get from act 3 is a new side of Halsin where he’s really uncomfortable about being in the city. he’s in an unfamiliar and overstimulating environment, and seeing the poor treatment of refugees makes him lose hope in humanity. it gets to the point that he actually starts to think that the shadow druids had a point. the character who’s always putting on a kind and brave face is starting to break. that’s a good set up for an arc! sure hope it goes somewhere.

eventually Halsin’s unease about staying in the city causes him to have a complete meltdown. he loses control over his bear form and injures Scratch. when he turns back into an elf, he’s panicking about how the city is making him both physically and mentally sick. he has lost all hope in this world, and he pulls out a dagger and holds it to his chest. that’s a really shocking and evocative scene! who doesn’t love watching the nice guy go apeshit? I’d love to see where this goes for his character.

except, that last scene wasn’t actually Halsin, that was Orin taking his form to taunt the player. so that scene went nowhere. I can’t help but feel like I was robbed. you thought Halsin would have a deep character moment, but you were wrong! it’s just like an “it was all just a dream” ending. and of course that scene only happens if Orin chooses to kidnap him over someone else so there’s a good chance you won’t even see this non-character development. so yeah my take is that that scene should have played out with the real Halsin.

we do get another piece of Halsin lore in act 3, but the way it’s handled is. Bad. very bad, even. and this is where I have to add a content warning for sexual abuse.

so when you get to the brothel, the player and their partner can sleep with these twin drow sex workers. if you ask Halsin to join you, he just drops “yeah I was raped by two drow before lol. they tied me to a bed for three years haha crazy right.” I can’t fault Halsin for using a somewhat jokey tone when talking about his abuse. I also can’t fault him for saying that he even sorta liked it at times, abuse survivors are allowed to have complex feelings about their abuse. the problem is, the story itself is not taking this seriously. as far as I could find, Halsin’s history of sexual abuse is brought up absolutely nowhere else in the game. it’s literally only brought up when Halsin makes that half joking reference to it. the player can’t even ask Halsin about it like “hey man that’s a pretty traumatic thing are you alright?” this whole side of his character is a missable one-off line. where does this hint of backstory lead? why can’t we confront him about this later? there’s a lot you could do with a character who hides how deeply something affected him, but it literally comes off like being raped for three years straight barely affected Halsin at all. it’s such a heavy topic that feels like it was tacked on at the last minute with little thought.

it’s also weird because the game handles Astarion’s trauma with so much more grace. they know how to write a male sexual abuse survivor with the respect he deserves, so why couldn’t they do the same for Halsin? it doesn’t even need to be a whole arc, just some camp dialogue or literally anything.

semi-related tangent: the brothel is a steaming pile of tired tropes. the incestuous sex workers? of course the sex workers are freaks, how original! and the murdered sex worker shoved in the fridge like she’s nothing? never seen that one before! the madam who doesn’t give a shit about the safety of said murdered employee? you really reinvented the wheel there!

idk man just. everything else about this game is really really good, but act 3’s flaws stick out like a sore thumb. Halsin and sex workers deserve better.

#this ended up being longer than I intended oops #justice for our favorite poly bear #baldur’s gate 3 #halsin

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jtl-fics · 2 years ago

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Hey, no need to respond to this, truly, but I just had to say something. Feel free to ignore and I won’t bother you about this again, but it makes me uncomfortable how you portray Riko as this traumatized kid who just needs love&attention in your writing when he is canonically an abuser. He nearly beat Jean to death and ordered other Ravens to rape him. He broke Kevin’s hand and tried to emotionally abuse him into returning to him. He helped Drake cross state borders while he was being investigated for child sexual assault and pointed him at Andrew. He paid Proust to assault Andrew. He tied Neil to a bed and tortured him. He killed Seth. Yes, his backstory is tragic but he is an abuser. And it’s uncomfortable reading about how his victims should feel sorry for him bc now they’re older and more mature and Riko “was a kid”. I recognize you have the right to write what you want, I just wanted to tell you how it reads. I’m not trying to be mean or harass you & I won’t send anything else other than this. And do not post this to the public if you don’t want to! Seriously, I’m not trying to be mean or hurt your feelings, you’re a great writer and I don’t believe you meant anything malicious or were trying to communicate what I took from how you wrote Riko, just that that’s how it comes off.

Hey, I am going to respond to this just because I want to be clear that I am writing Riko very very aware of the fact that he has done things in the books that make me really dislike / hate him as a person. Still, as a character there are things I want to explore with him y’know?

Especially from people who he really has no power over at this point. Especially from people who he did use to have power over at one point.

Some of this might be coming across a certain way just due to the fact that I had some ideas earlier on in the writing of these that I've discard. Such is the nature of a WIP. The other part is that a lot of the snippets are missing broader context. Such is the nature of a Snippet.

Either way you're fine to be uncomfortable with that and to not like how I'm writing it but I do just want to cover generally how I'm approaching Riko in the 2 AUs I'm really treating him differently than canon.

In the Math Nerd AU I want to explore a Neil who is a lot older and who still, honestly, hates Riko. He hates him and would love to watch him sink into the pits of hell once again.... but he's also a Neil who has grown a lot since he was 18-19 and dealing with Riko the first time around. He's a Neil who not only benefited from but now truly and absolutely believes in the power of giving someone a chance. Wymack has had that level of influence on his thinking.

He was a Captain and stayed close with the Foxes and Wymack over the years. He has seen all of the kids that Wymack gave 2nd chances to.

Some of them deserved that second chance and they utilize it.

Some of them deserved that second chance and failed to utilize it.

Some of them didn't deserve those second chances and did utilize it.

Some of them didn't deserve that second chance and proved that they didn't deserve it.

Wymack still offered it to all of them and he didn't always like those kids but Wymack still did his best to help them. Neil thinks Wymack died with his only regret being that he didn't have a chance to drink the pricey bourbon they'd gotten him and that he wouldn't get to call Kevin after his games.

Neil WANTS / NEEDS / CRAVES that peace of mind for reasons I'm not going to touch on here because it doesn't involve Riko.

I have decided on a few things that are different from the initial description, such is the nature of a WIP.

Its not quite clear in the snippets because hey they’re snippets and not the full story and honestly I’ve avoided doing these snippets from Neil’s POV. All Neil is doing right now? He’s offering Riko a chance and that's it.

What Riko does with that chance I haven’t touched on at all. Neil is offering a Riko an opportunity to stop before he sinks his own ship and Neil won't even toss a life preserver because watching him drown was immensely personally satisfying to Neil last time. What he wants is the certainty that there was no redeeming Riko, that there was no excuse, and that he's totally normal for thinking about how Riko looked the night he died with warmth. If Riko proves him wrong? If all Riko really did need was someone he had no power over to treat him like a person and not a commodity?

It'd be the ultimate proof that anyone can benefit from a second chance, that Wymack was always right to offer it. He'd be okay with that too.

I also want to explore what Neil can gain by delaying the satisfaction he got the first time around by outright telling Riko to just fuck off. How playing it a bit nicer / smarter with Riko means that the Foxes are safer and also gives him the opportunity to protect other people he has had a hand in saving. Andrew was the first person that Neil saved when he went back in time, but he wasn't the last. Neil also wasn't always successful in saving some people despite his foreknowledge.

Again, nature of the WIP and nature of the Snippet were not everything is here since I sure as hell am not writing this in order with the snippets but I am going to touch on it in a WIP Wednesday ask pretty soon, probably once I finish this beast / make myself dinner.

For New Kings it's a lot easier since mostly I'm treating Riko as a joke. Someone who wants to be a threat, who remembers being terrifying to these Foxes. Except now he...just kind of isn't. He has no power over any of them. Like Nicky said, he's seen home loans scarier than Riko is at this point.

It really is them just seeing someone they remember being so huge and threatening and scary and…..its just this sad sack 20 something playing at being God because he’s good at a sport. Honestly, in comparison to what some of them got up to later? He's not even that good.

They won’t take him seriously because why the fuck should they? That would just feed into his already insane ego. In my experience there’s nothing that upsets an abuser more than his once victims just won’t give him any power over them. (Again its the nature of the snippet in that its not the full picture and I haven’t even covered Riko’s reaction to the Fox’s dismissal of him as a threat in all its unhinged glory nor Renee's grand theft Moreau.)

STILL, if that isn’t something you want to read then please just add the tags #Math Nerd AU and #New Kings AU or ME (jtl-fics & justthislazy) to a block list. I'm religious about tagging so if you still want to read other stuff then just blacklisting those tags will keep you safe.

I can add Riko Moriyama as a tag on the parts that involve / mention him if you still want to read the snippets that don't include him.

I’m not out here to make someone uncomfortable but I do want to explore these things in my writing. It might change the further I go but it might not so please proceed at your comfort level.

Thank you for writing to me with your concern and I’m more than happy to accommodate with tags if you wanna message me.

Still, like you said, I'm going to write what I want.

#my writing #Riko Moriyama #Math Nerd AU #New Kings AU #This thing is very wordy #TL;DR Right now it's a WIP with SNIPS and I haven't put the full context out #I am thankful for this ask so people can make the decision if they want to read further #I will now take a shower cook dinner and write some more ASK WIPS

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abbatoirablaze · 1 year ago

Text

Locked Up, Chapter 8

Word Count: 1.6k

Warnings: attempted rape, condescension, slapping women, violence, abuse of power, maiming someone.

“You been sneakin’ round on me, girl,” the mid-western warden drawled out as his silver eyes panned up to the CO. She shivered under his gaze. He removed his focus from the bare mahogany desk as he looked at her, the smallest of smirks playing on his lips. Viv kept a straight face and an even straighter back as she sat still in the chair opposite the wardens, trying to pretend that she hadn’t just shivered in front of him, “well? You gonna say something, sweetheart? Or just keep sitting there like a dumb little slut? Don’t get me wrong, I love it when you’re quiet…but usually it’s cuz my cock is shoved down the back of your throat!”

“Lee...I-“

The chair squeaked as he leaned back; his firm belly muffin-topping over the tight uniform as he fiddled with his pockets. He was quick to pull a lemon candy from them before popping it in his mouth and throwing the wrapper in the small aluminum bin beside himself. He shook his head, the hard candy clicking into the side of his cheek as he started in on her, “ah, ah ah there, Viv…you don’t get to call me Lee…not when you’re going around fuckin’ the likes of inmate Jensen! Right now, I’m here so you can get your just desserts sweetie. Give you the extra dicking you so clearly need to keep ya in line…and who knows…maybe I’ll let ya keep this one if it sticks.”

“Come on, Lee,” Viv tried to scoff, brushing past the statement of the abortion he’d forced her to get a few months ago. She rolled her eyes, hoping that he didn’t read too much into how stiff she really was, “Jensen? Where the hell did you hear those lies?”

Lee sucked on his teeth, and Viv caught the candy rolling over his tongue. His eyes held no humor in them. No.

He was pissed.

She could read him like an open book.

And she knew that she wasn’t going to get away with it.

“No? Must a been mistaken’ then, right? I mean, I heard it from a few sources…then I pulled surveillance in the wing…just for chuckles…but you know what…I found exactly what I was lookin’ for,” he clucked, shaking his head at her, “Nothing. I mean, it’s kind of funny the camera goes dead quite a bit when you start evening rounds…and from what I know the only people that can really black out the cameras is your little boyfriend and our IT department…and I doubt they’d let you get away with fucking an inmate…even if your other little boyfriend attempted to pay them off. Because we both know that little prude in IT, Jenny has a thing for me…and boy would she live for the chance to rat you out…but you see…it wasn’t just Jensen’s cell…was it?”

There it was.

The coup de gras.

He knew about Ransom.

But she tried to shake it off, another scoff falling from her lips, “I-I don’t know what you’re talking about, Lee…”

“It’s Warden Bodecker to you, you dirty little slut,” the warden growled, throwing his hands down on the desk. Viv jumped, being caught off guard as he glared at her, “I should do so much more than what I’m going to….I should punish you the way a little harlot like you deserves.”

“Lee-“

“It’s Warden Bodecker, DAMMNIT! GOD DAMMNIT VIV! I put myself out there for you, Viv!” he growled, cutting her off, “I let you run this place without saying boo because I thought hey…if my little queen wanted to run the castle, why the hell not. But I see now you’re just an attention depraved little whore who fucks anyone that looks at her sideways. And you need to be put in your place once and for all. We’re done playing these games, Viv…”

“Lee…please…you-you’re scaring me…”

He scoffed and snorted.

Lee Bodecker was nearly off the rails as he hovered over the CO, “LEVINSON! YOU’RE FUCKING THAT ANIMAL NOW TOO?”

“Lee-“

“SHUT UP!” the warden spat, backhanding Viv. She stumbled backwards into his bookshelf and slumped against it, “I thought I put you in your place when I took care of the bullshit with Jensen. I got you off that troublesome block only for you to start shacking up with the first monster that looked at ya. Ain’t I enough for ya, Vivian? Why do you want to go fucking those inmates, huh? You feel bad for em? Or I just ain’t put enough cum in your belly? You want knocked up that bad?”

Her head stung and she reached up to touch it. Hissing, she pulled away to see the red tinge on her fingers. She was ignoring everything that Lee was saying, her only focus on her head, “Shit…”

“That’s nothing. You know damn well I can do much more than that, you little slut,” he growled, grabbing her by her hair and pulling her to her feet, “now get on up, girl!”

“Stop!” she wailed, begging the warden. He pushed her hard against the wall; her back hitting it with a thud, “Lee!”

He backhanded her again, cutting her off. One hand reached down and he started on his belt buckle, “Shut the hell up, Viv. I’m ending this once and for all…gonna put a baby in you today…and tomorrow you’re putting in yer resignation and quitting and I’m movin’ ya in to my place. We’re done playin’ these little games. I’ll have you barefoot and pregnant waiting on me to come home every night…and you’ll straighten up and pay good little housewife instead of red-light whore on the corner!”

But their little entanglement was cut off by the sound of the power in his office going out. The dull sounds of the facility around them became deafeningly still. The hum of the AC died, and the air filled with a muggy tension.

Then the red-lights came on.

“Lee…”

His eyes snapped to hers, “it’s a riot, Viv…god damn it.”

A siren wailed in the distance and Lee pushed himself away from the CO. Instantly he was forgetting about her, buckling his pants back up and moving towards his desk.

“Lee?”

“Shut up, girl,” he growled, shooting her another quick look, “right now we gotta deal with this…but afterwards I’m following through on my promise and fucking some sense into you.”

“I-“

In a few short steps he was hovering in front of her, a deadly look on his face, “You got something to say?”

“No Lee-“

“Sir!”

A few tears slipped down her cheeks, and she shook her head, “sir.”

“Say it!” he growled, grabbing her jaw in another quick movement. He forced her to look at him, “you tell me you ain’t got nothing to say…and you say it right.”

“I-I don’t have nothing to say, sir.”

He held her jaw so firmly that Viv started to feel a pain in it. He sucked in his cheeks and watched her for a second, before releasing her, content with the answer, “Good girl. Now get yourself put back together. We have to get to the armory before these animals break free.”

“If anyone’s an animal, it’s you, warden!”

Lee Bodecker snapped in the direction of his door, where a behemoth of a man was lit up by the red emergency lights.

Lee’s breath caught in his throat, fear pulsating throughout him.

Ari Levinson.

He stepped inside the room, and the shadows moved away from his face, allowing Lee to see that Ari was beyond pissed.

“Levinson…get back to your cell, inmate…”

Ari smiled, “it’s not going to work like that, warden…you and I both know what’s going on in your prison…we both know that you aren’t calling the shots anymore.”

“Well…looks like Levinson came here for his little slut, didn’t he?” Lee taunted, shooting a look over to Viv, “though, I wonder how he knew that you were going to be here.”

“So you know that I came up here to get Viv…the real question is what is your response to that?” Ari asked, “there are a few ways that this can play out, Warden…”

“Oh…you’re giving me options?” Lee chuckled, “that’s rich…get back to your cell and maybe I forget this whole little rescue plot happened. Maybe I don’t throw you in the hole and lock away the key!”

“You won’t do that!” Ari smiled, “you won’t get the chance, Bodecker!”

“Inmate…I will kill you if that means maintaining the peace…”

Ari chuckled, “I’d love to see you try, Bodecker!”

Lee eased away from Viv and back towards his desk, “you know…I could make things very hard for you at this prison, Levinson.”

“Thought you were going to kill me, Bodecker. Or throw away the key once you threw me in the shoe,” Ari smirked. Then he shot Viv a look and his smirk faded away. She’d had drying blood at her temple and a split lip. His rage continued as his eyes slid down her body to see her uniform shirt was torn open. His eyes snapped back to Lees, “What the hell were you doing before I got here, warden?”

“Ari-“

“Shut up, you little slut!” Lee growled, cutting Viv off. He’d put more distance between himself and the inmate before continuing, “What I do in my office is none of your business, inmate! Especially not with my property.”

“She doesn’t belong to anyone!” Ari growled.

“That little whore belongs to me, Levinson…not the other way around?”

“I’ll deal with you in a second, warden,” Ari spat before turning his attention towards the CO, “Are you okay, Viv?”

“Don’t you say a word to him, CO!” Lee commanded, another murderous look being shot her way, “Levinson, back out of my office now…I don’t want to use force, but I will.”

“See, I get the feeling that you really want to use force,” Ari smirked, “and looking at what you obviously did to Viv…I want to use force too!”

“Lev-“

But he didn’t have time to get the words out. Ari launched himself at the warden, his fists flying in a fury as he heard Viv scream behind him.

Chapter 9

Tag List: @lohnes16, @prokey16, @tenaciousperfectionunknown, @teambarnes72, @cjand10

#locked up #jail #prison au #lee bodecker #dark lee bodecker #devil all the time #warden lee bodecker #inmate ari levinson #ari levinson #red sea diving resort #sebastian stan characters #chris evans characters

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