#and I’m graduating next year…
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I kinda want to start a Jane Austen club at my university !! but I don’t know if I would have the time to commit to running it and I don’t know if anyone would join… but I’ve been thinking about it and I think it could be fun ??? 
#what do we think#also I’m scared of starting it only for my hyperfixation to wear off right after#but I’ve been solidly consuming Jane Austen content at the very least on a weekly if not daily basis for over a year now#and I’ve liked her works in general since I was like 12#so maybe it could be worth a shot?#the only Jane Austen society in my city closed down about a year ago#so maybe there is a demographic that would be interested…#but I don’t have much spare time#and I don’t know how I’d spread word about it#and I think it’s too late to officially apply as a school club?#and I’m graduating next year…#BUT IM THINKIN ABOUT IT#👀#jane austen
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I had the sudden urge to sit down and draw Biana Vacker. Ive always wanted to draw her, but when I’d open ibis, my brain would blank. So here she is, now, in all her glory.
#nector art!#fanart#kotlc#biana vacker#she’s so pretty#girls are just so pretty#fuck am I gay#sorry off topic#I’m not even gonna hint at my drafts#I graduate next week#so I’ll post more during the summer#just like last year
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been drawing my ocs. ernest is a priest and young is the lead singer of a punk band. and they’re both vampires. and in a situationship
#they’ve existed since i was in freshman year of high school. i’m graduating college next year. nuts#spiral ocs#oc#original character
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Well everyone, I performed my first ever cetacean ultrasound today!
My “patient” is in excellent health, and this session was meant merely as practice both for me and for her—ensuring she remains comfortable holding still for scans. Because whales and dolphins are too big for manual palpation or x-rays, ultrasound is how veterinarians visualize their internal organs and ensure they remain healthy. Cetaceans in human care routinely receive ultrasound scans to monitor their health, even if they are not ill or pregnant.
And it’s a great example of cooperative care! Unlike dogs and cats, which have to be sedated or manually restrained by humans in order to get diagnostic ultrasound images, cetaceans in human care are trained to float in place while the veterinarian places the ultrasound probe on them. They are free to leave the session at any time. And there’s no need for ultrasound gel, because the water acts in its place!
(Photo not of me… published by Georgia Aquarium when their beluga Whisper was pregnant with her calf Shila)
All in all, a great end to my externship!
#very sad to leave… but I’m heading directly to my next externship tomorrow!#another aza facility with cetaceans#my third and final externship will actually be right after I graduate because I couldn’t fit it into my clinical year#whales#dolphins#belugas#orcas#cetaceans#marine mammals#animal training#animal husbandry#vet med#zoo med#aquatic med#vet school#vet student#externships
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finally...
i’m… so happy………………………………………………………. really i’m so happy dude i am so. happy this is so great i don’t have anxiety about the future or when the actual release is gonna be at all……..
#i’m going to graduate college first aren’t i ʕʘ‿ʘʔ#asks#ngc-5194#just. a delay is fine obviously#but until they give us an updated estimate for the release next year#until we get a date.#i won’t rest easy#kingdom hearts#khml#khposting
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sometimes i forget i’m a junior and then u say it out loud and it still feels unreal like i was just a freshman, what happened 😭
#no way i’m turning 17 like#no way i’m gonna be an adult in less than 2 years#no way i only have one first day of school left#alaska is in the midst of an existential crisis#someone save me#i’m gonna be a senior next year”#i graduate next year?#i have to think about college and what i want to do and where i want to go?#i have to do college tours?#i took a quiz on college board to get suggestions of where to go and it said buttfuck nowhere virginia (no way im going there)#also i’m kind of limited in where i can go too
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Val Is Pretty Sure She Might Be Losing Her Mind, more at 11
#okay so y’all. do you happen to remember Alcott Boy? the guy I had a crush on from school last year (or really the whole time I’ve been in#college honestly) who had Opinions on Little Women#yeah him. anyway I thought I was over my crush on him but GUESS WHAT it’s back and worse than ever#like I only have one class with him that’s once a week but guys guys I feel like I’m LOSING MY MIND like. I’ve never felt the urge to#actually go up to a guy and say ‘hey do you wanna go out with me?’!! like I would never actually do that but the urge is most definitely#there??? and it’s not even that he’s cute (although I mean I think he’s cute) but he’s really really intelligent and funny and very notably#always willing to bring up his faith in class discussions (and this isn’t really the campus for that) and I’ve always admired him for that#(this is also the boy that looked at something I wrote in fiction class and said ‘that’s it that’s what love is supposed to be like!!’ LIKE#) and I genuinely don’t know what to do#like should I be concerned that I feel this strongly so soon after The Boy?? should I be concerned that this might just be limerance???#my roommate has been offering to talk to him for me and ask if he’s single and is it insane that I’m actually considering it???#like if I’m going to now is the ideal time—I’ve already had my class with him this week and spring break is next week#and I’m certain he would never make me feel bad if he didn’t feel the same. but if he did wouldn’t he have said something by now? I don’t#know I don’t know I don’t knooowww#but I graduate in two months and I don’t want to regret it for the rest of my life
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just finished school I’m gonna miss my pookie bears over the summer
#graduated finallyyyy#new school next year YIPPEEEE#and a party tommorow I’m gonna be SO COOL#my friend said I gave Vic energy#AND SO MANY OEOPLE COMPLIMENTED MY FIT#Tilly talks
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mannnnnnnnbb fuck November I’m so tired of feeling lonely in my own life.
#lee’s bullshit#even being in [redacted] will not save you from the depths of November#trying to remind myself things are always changing and I can’t stop putting myself out there but I am tired.#what I am doing clearly is not enough in any respect and I am tired of feeling so worn to the bone all the time.#huge social miss today at the function. woke up late and ruined the schedule. couldn’t make a clear decision on dinner.#haven’t found a replacement roommate. haven’t finished my portfolio. haven’t applied to internships. haven’t finished my final project.#behind on everything and with every step I take I get pulled further and further backwards.#my roommate is graduating early and i feel like it’s my fault.#i shouldn’t blame myself for someone else’s bad behavior but im still beating myself up for being a cause for it.#my other roommate wants to move out to live on her own next year.#also blaming myself for that even tho its always on me to fix the mess of housing every damn semester#I’m just so tired of feeling like I’m not doing enough and even when I am that it just simply doesn’t matter.#saw one of my friends today but only for an hour. texting the group is like sending a blind pigeon out in a gale.#I know that things will get better but it’s just so hard . if someone genuinely asked how I was doing I could cry on the spot.#none of my friends are close enough anymore not at home not at school not in my family. there’s nowhere to go.#just tired. Going to go to bed soon. Hopefully tomorrow will be better.
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Sunk-cost fallacy save me
Sunk-cost fallacy
Save me sunk-cost fallacy
#I wish defeatism wasn’t such an easy pit-trap to fall into#u.s. presidential election#2024 presidential election#2024 election#u.s. politics#trying very hard not to think about how useless my degree is going to probably be under Trump#beating back my negative thoughts with the sunk cost fallacy rn#like I have spent too much time money and effort and I’m graduating next year (hopefully)#I gotta keep on going#some might say that’s being hopeful#I don’t think so
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one thing abt being disabled/chronically ill that some people don’t get is that sometimes body maintenance that ensures you have the absolute minimum amount of function can also be something that takes away a lot of control and autonomy. you can argue till the cows come home that making those decisions to try and help yourself (or realistically to try to make sure things aren’t worse than they already are) is something that exhibits control and autonomy and stuff, but they can be so limiting in practice because they’re things that take up so much time but have to be done to do anything else
#i have to sleep a lot. i’m at the point where functioning requires 8 hours of sleep if not more#I should probably be getting 10+ but i’m a student and i work so 8 is the minimum. but then also getting ready for bed is a whole process s#the whole thing can take 10-12 hours depending how much im sleeping. just to make sure i can do anything#that is time in my day i cannot use for anything else. it’s not ‘oh but i can push through it’ because i can’t without spending the next da#lightheaded and nauseous and vaguely dizzy and with such intense brain fog I can’t think with my fatigue so bad i genuinely don’t know how#get myself to work a lot of days. my abled peers don’t have to deal with this at all. they have unlimited study time if they want to#and yeah it is a choice i’m making that’s true i could just not do. except i would lose my job and fail out of college because i would not#be able to get to classes or do my homework or think. but being told ‘but you are making choices about your life’ when i have lost so much#of what i used to be able to do because i am spiralling down and continuing to get worse is so.#literally last year i would wake up at 6:30 and then go to school till 3 and then go to my internship until 10 and get home at 11 and be in#bed anywhere from midnight to two in the morning and then wake up the next day and do it all again. i graduated with a 3.9 gpa and made it#into my top college while dealing with my cancer symptoms and then the two surgeries about it#but now i lose half my day to just making sure i can get out of bed. i can’t go anywhere because my body is physically too exhausted#any extra time goes into doing homework or occasionally time to myself#not decimating my health by doing minimum body care responsibilities isn’t freeing. occasionally i have a good day which is freeing but tha#usually goes into just. other things outside class or work or eating. I don’t go do something for myself or go do something fun on good day#because I still can’t. good days just mean i don’t want to lie down on the pavement when i’m going somewhere#I just. I don’t magically have control over my life because i try to get enough sleep. i lose half my day to doing that and ultimately it’s#just a bodily function that would have to happen anyway#this is a vent post im just having a really hard time right now because it feels like im in exponential decline. it was nowhere near this#bad last semester. my grades are tanking and i have no free time because anything outside of sleep is either work or school#vent tw#yall can rb this just ignore my tags completely#disability#chronically ill#i keep trying to explain to people how pots works because that’s all logical but there’s no way to explain what it’s doing to my body or ho#i feel all the time. the last time i felt this bad was when i had a bad flu or immediately after surgeries because i don’t react well to#anesthesia and always come out of them feeling like shit. and now i just feel like this all the time and it’s only getting worse#I can’t even stay up late anymore because my body feels like it isn’t counting the sleep even if I get 8 hours#I can deal if I have a free day the day after but that just leaves Friday and Saturday nights and I usually still have to do homework
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girl who is so normal about the passage of time (<- had thespian senior night an hour ago and felt so sad i felt physically ill)
#nyx yells#this is fine ig#no bc i’ve known these seniors the longest and them graduating means i’m a senior next year. i don’t want that
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there is truly nothing greater than love to me. what is more impermeable, long lasting, soft, and joyous??? yet still holds melancholy, anguish, pain, and grief???? (many things but that’s not the point-)
i am very grateful to love and be loved :) i hope whoever sees this comes across pure love as well, it’s very nice.
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image desc: a ladybug on top of one of the leaves of a curry leaf stem
#yes this is about my wife#yes i have a wife (my gf)#it’s not Exclusively abt ash BUT#a great deal ☝️#the thought of planning for my future (even for the next year) would bring me to tears and completely break down#but now i’m able to look into grad schools#and create plans regarding my courses in college to be able to graduate#i can even talk to others about what I want for the future#growth is lovely#im happy i didnt let anyone take that away from me#and im extra happy my wife has cultivated my growth and given it a nurturing environment :)#and my friends too#shout out to my bestie from college who i sat next to bc i have a stellar gaydar#i hope to find more people to share my love with#and i hope to strengthen the love i have now with those close to me#it will be hard and it will be challenging (looking at the fact that i will be kicked out soon.)#but !!! it will be so so worth a life that ive dreamt to have !#if you’re reading this then tell someone you love them#:)#(bonus points if you say it to yourself!)#bee talks#it’s me#im bee
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#internships are so humiliating…#yeah they don’t teach me anything at my fancy school yeah i don’t know shit#yeah i’m graduating next year and i’m very dumb
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if you see a sudden influx of dark haired evil pervert men in animation over the next few years know that it means I’m prospering
#I’m graduating next year#and once I hit the industry…..#one million gortash clones#one million gideon clones#every project I can get my grubby little hands on will spawn a new husband for my collection
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anyone else feel like life is a little pointless lately
#lecture#i’m fine i’m just graduating in two months#i have no idea what i’m going to be doing next year 😃#my plan is to get a job no matter what it is (in my field or not) just so i can move out and start earning more n shit#but idk#actually writing thay down made me feel better#i’m only 22 it’s supposed to be scary!!! right!!!
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