#and I’m finding it more and more difficult to figure out what a good endgame for them would entail 😭

[eliotquillon]

alex rider for the ask game :3

my favourite female character:

wow there’s just so many women in this series i can’t possibly choose! jk lmao.

for me it is sabina. my diva, my queen, the only character to consistently call alex on his shit and point out that for all his protests he keeps agreeing to do ‘one more mission’….i will never understand why people hate her (other than misogyny lmfao). i will forever be mad about that weird era of crocodile tears—never say die where ahorz turned her into a bit of a wet wipe because skeleton key/eagle strike sabina is so funny and headstrong and willing to give as good as she gets. i think she is one of the most realistic characters in the series (pun name aside) and her refusing to believe alex in eagle strike doesn’t make her evil or a fake friend…it makes her a teenage girl who was being gaslit by an intelligence agency. from sabina’s perspective the story is basically a horror movie: her best friend is being blackmailed and forced into putting his life at risk over and over, and there’s nothing she can do. there was never anything she could do. he chose danger and adventure over wanting to stay safe with her and her family and there was never any point in trying to change his mind because he is always going to be a little bit out of reach. i love her, and i think she balances alex out so well. forever mad that the tv adaptation didn’t have the foresight to realise that introducing kyra (who i love btw don’t get it twisted) and keeping her as a series regular was going to create some balancing issues with sabina, so they just turned tv sabina into a spineless caricature of all her worst traits because they didn’t need to worry about making her likeable like they did with kyra. book sabina i will love you forever.

my favourite male character:

am i allowed to say ‘the ghost of john rider that is perpetually haunting the narrative’. because to be clear it is the ghost of john rider that is perpetually haunting the narrative.

in all seriousness this is so difficult…i genuinely do love whatever the fuck is going on with the unreliable portrait of john that gets drawn throughout the series, but given that his only real appearance is in russian roulette (a book so filled with continuity errors/unreliable narration that for my own sanity i HAVE to assume that yassen is deliberately lying in at least parts of it) i don’t know if he sincerely counts as a ‘character’. although for what it’s worth i do fundamentally think that whoever john really was, he wasn’t a cut and dry ‘good person’ like we keep being TOLD to believe (too much contradiction going on with him for that).

it’s probably either general sarov OR alex himself. general sarov is cut and dry my favourite villain, is in my favourite book, and i could talk about his decision to shoot himself instead of alex (when sarov was 100% on the edge of victory!) forever. he’s such a tragic figure and i always find myself wishing that we’d gotten more villains like him…characters who genuinely weren’t cut-and-dry evil, whose motivations were actually kind of reasonable apart from the fact that the endgame/means to get to it were all wrong. but since i’m probably gonna talk a lot about skeleton key anyway i’ll put a pin in that. ALEX in the meantime…i love him so much. i love his smug one-liners, i love his fits of bad temper, i love that he never does what he’s told. and i also love how wistful he is. there’s a lot of moments, especially in the earlier books, where it’s clear that alex was actually already pretty fucked up from the simple fact of not knowing his parents. he’s been grappling with that big gnawing question of ‘who am i, really’ for a long time. he has so much guilt and shame. killing is for grown-ups and he’s still a child. i never really got into any of the other ‘teen spy’ novels when i was a kid and i think the reason why i latched onto alex rider specifically is because he is such a good protagonist. as an adult he is still so interesting because it becomes so much clearer how scared and insecure he is a lot of the time. i love him.

my favourite book/season/etc:

my fave season of the show is s1 fyi. ANYWAY.

as previously mentioned my fave book in the series is skeleton key. it is so many things. it’s a coming of age story. it’s a reverse whodunnit. it’s a story about grief. it is so, so uniquely of its time. alex continuously tries and fails at playing happy families (the pleasures, troy and turner, sarov) and never quite hits any of the right notes in any of them because he doesn’t know what it would look like. sarov would rather burn the world than admit that he sent his son to die in a useless proxy war and that it was his fault. it is the last book that was published before the war on terror started in earnest. i know it doesn’t really add to any of the overarcing stuff going on (no scorpia and no rider family drama) and nor does it have many of the other popular elements of the series (again, no scorpia and no rider family, but also no k-unit, no yassen, no julius, barely any whump, alex is basically beaten fair and square by sarov at every term) so i know this is probably an unpopular opinion. but there’s something so gentle about it. it’s so heartbreaking. it’s the point of no return - this is the first time alex chooses to do mi6 a favour instead of strictly being blackmailed into it. sarov killing himself even though he’s on the precipice of victory just because alex has made it explicitly clear that he will never be his son, that he can’t ever really turn back the clock, just fucking guts me. i don’t think this is necessarily the best-constructed book in the series (scorpia is, objectively, the best IMO), but it is my favourite.

also the american edition is totally different to every other edition and features a completely different version of the cia scenes, primarily to make the special agents more sympathetic and less like they fucking hate a child. which is just so cool. i mean the censorship stuff isn’t cool but the difference in editions is fascinating.

my fave episode (if it’s a tv show):

i can’t remember if it’s ep7 or 8 of season 3 but the tv show’s take on what happened at albert bridge. that episode. it was so, so good. i cannot imagine a better way to film it. i loved the interspersing of present with past and they cast john rider SO fucking well. i have a lot of mixed feelings about season 3 (i thought the decision to veer right back into being very book accurate after doing a pretty good job of making it explicitly clear that this was a retelling/its own distinct spin was…confusing) but that episode was perfect. i also really like s1ep8 (because i’m obsessed with kyra).

my fave cast member:

if we’re talking about the show again: marli siu as kyra. she is so fucking cool. and also adding kyra to the show, for all it opened up a can of worms, was the best thing guy burt ever did. i adore kyra so much.

if we’re using cast member to mean ‘recurring main character who isn’t one of my two named favourites’: i have a bit of a soft spot for crawley. i have no idea why, but something about him consistently being described as looking like a second-rate private school teacher forever tickles me. he’s just some guy but he cracks me up for some reason.

my favourite ship:

across the whole AR multiverse of madness, it is probably alex/kyra. i blame them for my sudden het ship renaissance tbh. i was rooting for them like i have never rooted for any heterosexual couple before (although arguably neither of them are het LOL). i think i fainted when they finally kissed in s3.

but if we’re doing book-only (since most of my answers have skewed that way)…hmm. i think i will have a forever fondness for sabina and alex’s invisible string thing they have going on. not friends not lovers but a secret third thing. i also like the toxic yaoi of john/yassen a lot because the fuck is going on THERE. i don’t fuck with alex/yassen because it personally icks me, but like i very much see the vision of yassen recreating the dynamic he had with john but with alex (and the roles reversed). john/yassen most toxic mentorship of all time spread the word.

a character i’d die defending:

sabina pleasure lol. i have in fact made some very snippy posts in the past because like…listen. obviously you are allowed to dislike her. you can dislike any character for any reason. but she has been DISPROPORTIONATELY hated on by the AR fandom. it is pure misogyny. her existence is not ‘getting in the way’ of making any other alex ship canon because sabina/alex isn’t even canon! claiming you dislike her because of ahorz’s bad/inconsistent writing is fair but you cannot say that and then, at the same time, praise the likes of ben daniels (whose identity has been swapped multiple times as a result of bad writing) as your fave character. she reacts badly to the truth in eagle strike but this was not her fault! she was being gaslit! if alex forgave her then i think maybe the fandom can let this go! she is one of the only shreds of normality left in his life and one of her chief functions is to call out alex’s shit and serve as a reality check to him. she did nothing wrong for REAL!!

a character i just can’t sympathise with:

i think it goes without saying that we’re not really meant to sympathise with a lot of these characters, so let me be controversial: mrs jones!!!!

like listen. i’m sorry to hear your kids got kidnapped yeah i actually am like obviously i’m gonna be upset about that innit yeah and tulip you know the only thing is yeah is that no-one can force me to be your mate or anything yeah and i don’t want to be mates wiv you alright? i know mrs jones is meant to be the ‘softer’ option to blunt. i know we are meant to believe, especially in the reboots, that she is better than him. but she isn’t. she talks a big game about how making alex work for them is wrong and that she’s against it, but she is never willing to put her money where her mouth is. she’s the one to goad alex into going to cairo in scorpia rising. in a lot of ways, i think her softer coating makes her a lot more insidious than blunt. this is one of the reasons i kind of went off the tv show towards the end: they made show!jones WAY too nice and sympathetic, and that’s just not who she is.

and don’t get it twisted: i think she’s fascinating. i love her character and her different faces are so, so interesting in a series that tends to stick women in the whore or mother box respectively. but i do not sympathise with her. i like her character, but i don’t like HER.

a character i grew to love:

am i allowed to say sabina again. because it is, genuinely, sabina. it took me YEARS to come around on her and then when i finally did it it was so worth it. but maybe i can’t say sabina for three different answers LOL.

this is genuinely a difficult question because there are a lot of characters in this series that i don’t LIKE but i LOVE in the sense that i find them interesting. i think jack has genuinely grown on me over the years, mostly as a result of the secret weapon short stories. it didn’t seem like it when i first read the series as a kid, but she’s so young, and she is functionally helpless—she wants to look after alex, but she’s an illegal immigrant with no blood relation to him, who at best is another way for mi6 to exploit him and at worst is a way for scorpia to exploit him. i have a lot more sympathy and respect for her now. and on a similar (yet wildly different) note: i hate ian rider, but he has slowly grown into the alex rider character i think about the most. what the fuck was up with him. what was up with him and john. did he know what he was doing when he raised alex to be a child soldier? is there a reason why yassen killed him but spared alex despite both of them being john’s blood relatives? i’m just so!!!

my anti otp:

sorry guys…it is yalex, i’m afraid. like i said: i can see the vision, but i can’t personally get past them meeting when alex is 14 and yassen is in his 30s. even in aus where they meet as adults i still get squicked out. honestly wish i could get over my aversion to it (at least a little) because i have read some FANTASTIC fics that had background yalex rumblings and i’m almost definitely depriving myself of a bunch of amazing fic by not really being willing to read anything where they’re at the forefront, but it’s just not for me ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

[alister312]

ok so i've put together all my thoughts about the gregstophe merman gregory/selkie christophe AU and it's a lot so i am gonna put it all below the cut 👀

(there are also more images below the cut 😏)

The concept of this AU starts with Christophe’s mom and dad. One of the old myths about specifically male selkies is that lonely fishermen's wives would cry seven tears into the sea and they would come to be with the wives instead (and maybe take them away). Christophe’s mom was a fisherman’s wife whose husband had been gone for a long time and she was lonely so she did this but after just one night with the selkie she felt guilty, changed her mind, and sent him away. Against her wishes, though, she wound up pregnant and her husband was still lost at sea (and presumed dead), so everyone knew she’d cheated in some way. 

Humiliated and upset, she moved to a new town so she could escape people judging her but she was still very bitter. She blamed the selkie for forcing her to have to uproot her life like that and when Christophe ended up being born as a selkie, she took his coat and hid it so she would never have to think about the whole affair ever again. She ended up projecting a lot of her bitterness and hatred for that selkie (as well as guilt) onto Christophe, making his life miserable. He learned early in life that he was a selkie but since his mom had his coat, he knew he couldn’t go anywhere and had to just put up with it. She ended up dying young, never having told Christophe where she put his coat so he’s stuck in the town forever.

I know there’s a lot of different versions of the myth about what happens when a selkie is separated from their coat, but currently I’m just going with the idea of the yearning for the sea and not being able to properly talk. So Christophe chose to become a fisherman because his mother used to talk about how good her past husband was and it’s a way he can be out in the sea constantly, kind of. Plus he doesn’t need to talk to be good at it, he just kind of grunts and gestures if he needs to communicate and everyone figures he’s just a very gruff, antisocial guy.

Gregory is a merman who’s gotten a bit cocky about having never been caught every time he goes to watch humans. He doesn’t want to join them exactly (he likes life in the sea very much) but he finds them fascinating to study. Anyway, Gregory gets caught one day by (of course) Christophe. Gregory is bit freaked out, worrying that Christophe might kill him or bring him back to the land as an attraction of some kind, but Christophe just wordlessly lets Gregory go.

This act makes him Gregory’s new fascination and, after a while of staring from a distance and learning that Christophe is an ultimately good (albeit quiet) man, he starts to interact with him more. Gregory is everything Christophe wishes he was (living in the ocean, free) so at first he gives him the cold shoulder out of jealousy but eventually warms up to him. Somehow Gregory learns that Christophe is actually a selkie who is missing his coat and he becomes determined to find it and give him the freedom he deserves.

I say somehow because I’m not quite sure but I’m partial to the concept of this AU also containing Stan and Kyle because…… i like them. Anyway, the thoughts I have about them in this AU is that basically Stan is also a fisherman who knows Christophe and doesn’t totally like him because Christophe’s gotten aggressive toward him before. Stan’s husband is Kyle who is also a selkie but, unlike Christophe, has his coat and can come and go from the ocean as he pleases. Kyle can sense what Christophe is and what’s wrong (and berrates Stan when Stan makes a rude comment because he doesn’t understand why Christophe is so difficult), but he doesn’t really know what he can do to help. He feels like he understands the best of anyone what Christophe is going through, and he technically does, but again he represents what Christophe wants but can’t have.

There's two potential endgames for this AU I've thought of but I'm open to hear other's thoughts if you've read this far! Anyway, both of the ones I've thought of I like, but they've got completely different vibes. In one, Christophe gets his coat (his mom had thrown it overboard a ship somewhere way out at sea) and joins Gregory in his life in the ocean. While he spends much of his time being a seal, he does come out of the water and shed his coat so he can give Gregory proper kisses. Maybe they live in a cave with an underwater entrance so they can have privacy and a safe place to keep Christophe's coat when he does take it off.

In the other end, it's less cute but imo still happy in a way. Basically Christophe finally accepts that he'll never find his coat and he tells Gregory that he doesn't want to string him along (haha like a fisherman) so he breaks off the relationship, believing Gregory would never want to give up the life in the sea. Gregory is offended Christophe thinks he doesn't love him that much so he goes and finds a way to start living on land with Christophe. He already liked watching people, why not live among them if it means he also gets to be with the love of his life? They are both trapped on land now, but they're trapped together so it's like a silver lining thing.

ANYWAY that whole thing is the AU concept!! I guess the one other important thing to mention is that selkies and merfolk are sort of myths in this world? Like they exist for real but most people think they're not real. Sorry to have gone on for so long but oh well! It's fun :)

[ailelie]

Technically this was written yesterday. Ambrose is being clingy. Gabriel knows full well why, but is refusing to clue Nora in. Nora doesn't believe that Ambrose would ever choose her over Ivy. Note: Gabriel almost always has the braincell.

...Nora and Ambrose aren't endgame, but that's getting increasingly difficult to remember.

Nora shared the note with Gabriel during lunch. Nora sat on the edge of the stone bench under the courtyard tree and Gabriel was on the ground, resting back against the tree. Ivy had opted to remain inside and re-write her latest letter to her papa. “Come with me?” she asked, quietly. “Come where?” Ambrose’s voice startled her. He dropped onto the stone bench next to Nora. “Nowhere,” Nora said quickly. She stuffed a bite of sticky rice and fruit into her mouth. The mint chopped through the dish was cooling. “Can’t,” Gabriel said. “I’m meeting with Viola after our last lecture to talk through our history report. We’re going to Alniri Avenue. Want to join?” “Please,” Nora said, relieved at Gabriel’s quick lie. “I should ask if she knows anyone I can talk with about Varza’s response to the Great Pox.” The excuse was meant to mislead, but as she said the words, she realized they were good ones. Creldyn was better known for medicines, but Varza was a more coastal country and would have interacted with more people during the pox. “I know people from Varza,” Ambrose offered. Nora glanced at Gabriel for help, but he only took another bite of his food. “That would be helpful,” she said, uncertain how to refuse without revealing their deceit. “I’ll still join you in the Avenue, though, Gabriel.” Gabriel raised his spoon in acknowledgment. Then, before Ambrose could offer to join them, she asked him about Viscountess Beyrnen. “Have you figured out why she neglected to maintain Agatha’s building?” “No,” Ambrose grumbled. “She only holds court every other month and I’ve already missed this month’s.” “Why wait?” Gabriel asked. “Delaying the inevitable,” Ambrose said, tilting his head back. “If I use my status to see her, my parents will find out. Mother would want to know why I was not focusing on my studies and why I cared so much. Then she’d ask if I understood how it looked for the crown prince to call out a viscountess and how we cannot abuse our power. And so on and so on until she forbade me from doing anything.” A memory of the viscountess sending away an entire tray of fruit at one of Nora’s tea parties because she disliked melon came to mind. “She’ll complain when you attend her court as well, won’t she?” “From what I’ve managed to learn about her?” Ambrose said. “Yes.” “We’ll need to gather as much information as we can before that happens, then,” Gabriel said.

[lavellander]

been laboring over alani’s romance even more lately and had an absolute fucking brain blast

if I’ve decided merrill is the inquisition’s arcane advisor. which I have. there is no reason her and alani can’t smooch about it 👀

[fvrxdrm]

can you write something for chamber reacting to the reader having saved his life? maybe in a situation where she was ordered to retreat and leave him but she decided to stay and fight for him? 🥺

race against the clock

Pairing: Chamber x F!Reader

Warning(s): vague hints of blood and violence, Google translated French

I feel like I’m getting kinda rusty with my writing since I haven’t written anything in a while. Hope you still like it though!

Also, I’m not sure if Chamber is legit trying to win the agents over or he’s just doing it for some ill intent, but in this fic, he’s a good boi.

P.S.

Where my Jett mains at???

*****

The drive towards doom meets the drive towards conformity for world safety in opposite directions. The relative power of these forces in the neurology of every consciousness will define the strength and the motivations of each. But when definite sentiments disturb the mentality of the being, they can corrupt their goals for either a short or long time and it’s up to them whether they face the consequences or start back up again to continue achieving the established end results.

“Y/N, we have to go! We won’t be getting out alive if we stay any longer!” Brimstone yelled through the comms.

“We’re nearing the ship,” you grunted with a yelp when Chamber’s limp body almost slipped from your right arm, “just a little more.”. It might have taken a minute or so to get to the aircraft but in the fullness of time you finally made it inside and the ship was ready to take off in a second.

“Cherie, you should not have bothered to take me with you. Because of me, your escape has been delayed and you almost did not make it in time. You should have just left me there.”

“Shut up, I wasn’t going to just leave you to die, okay?” All the medics that were aboard the ship hustled to you and aided in situating Chamber on one of the fixed cots, wasting no time in tending his most dire injuries first.

Throughout his treatment, you watched the medics bustle about around him and kept your eyes peeled on his heartbeat on the monitor. You thought about the possibilities of what could’ve happened if you hadn’t been there when he got shot or if you had left him to die on the sand as you were told to by your commander. All of them were different leading scenarios but the endgame was still the same, and you weren’t one for having that. You knew you were dicing with death but if there was a way to save your league from dying, then you’d find that way, no questions asked.

It wasn’t long before Chamber got patched up and cleaned with the resources and first aid kit the ship had. You found yourself sitting on the seat beside him, both of you smothered with the silence that was beginning to kick in.

“I don’t regret it, you know,” you filled in with a start and an indecisive decision. Chamber turned his head to you and looked at you with the weakest eyes he’s shown.

“What? Helping me?”

“Yeah,” you paused for a split second as you contemplated with this conversation, but you figured you started it anyway, so why not go on with it? “I don’t regret that.”.

Chamber was silent for a moment until you heard him huff a breath before responding with the faintest of smiles, “I know you don’t, mon cher. You are, after all, notorious for your generosity,” causing you to chuckle and furrow the inside of your brows.

“Why do you make it sound like it’s a bad thing?”

“It’s not, don’t get me wrong. It’s just… It’s difficult for us to find people as kind as you, and I rather admire you for that.”

“You know, it’s not that difficult to find the kindness that we crave for.”

“I don’t think you’re getting my point, mademoiselle.”

“What?”

Chamber patted the empty space on the bed beside him, ushering you to sit by him instead. You were confused at such desire but urged yourself to comply anyway and see his intents by yourself. When you did, Chamber took your hands in his and spoke in a way that was audible for only you and him.

“I am an outsider, Y/N, and I feel that that is what they define me as. It’s not that hard to see, they despise me. I am trying my hardest to please them, to live up to their standards, but I know it is going to take a lot more time and effort for them to warm up to me. And I understand that, I really do. But you, Y/N… You surprise me in so many ways. You have learned to accept me as I have with you even if it began with a rocky start. You have helped me throughout this learning process, et je t'en remercie. You are a ray of sunshine, mon cher, I hope you know that.”

You took a moment to process his words, a moment to take in a breath and hold back your tears, and once you’ve finally found your space again, you placed your other hand on top of his and said, “You and I are both outsiders, Vincent, we all are. Everyone in this league, this skirmish is a lost, lonely, and irrelevant outsider. We’re given the choice to prove ourselves right or to uphold the expectations and standards that the modern society thinks are right about us, and you know how they are, and it is our duty to choose whether we face the consequences or fight for ourselves. I’m here to help you out there because I know how they are and because I was in your place once. I’m here as your friend, never forget that.” you squeezed his hand before letting it go and standing up.

“Je connais, thank you, Y/N,” he replied with a smile.

“You’re welcome, just let me know when you need anything. For now, you have to rest. We had a long day.”

“You, too, mon cher. Bonne nuit mon amour.”

You bent down and kissed his nose, “Bonne Nuit mon amour.”.

*****

Idk what I did but let me know if you liked it.

[roniscloud]

lhs - runnin’

lee heeseung [a. + f. 4700 words] runnin’

to you

you came up on some new

i know i shouldn’t feel blue

‘cause i was runnin’ out of time for you

synopsis: you met heeseung in your freshman year of college and immediately hit it off. you’ve made it to your third year and when everyone including yourselves thought that you were each other’s endgame, the devastation when you two split was immeasurable. you both know there’s still love between you. this break allows you both to realize new things. can you two find your ways back to each other? will this be the final goodbye?

genre + tropes: angst. fluff. comedy. college!au. establishedrelationship!au. exes!au.

warnings: fem reader. swearing. arguing. nosy friends. cold heeseung and cold reader. drifting relationship. interventions. slight suggestive themes but it’s only mentioned like once. they both pine over each other. mentions of alcohol and binge drinking. maybe not a happy ending. if you choose to see it that way. whoops. appearances of the rest of enha plus txt yeonjun and soobin.

i.  the break

“so this is how it’s gonna end? i thought we were doing fine.”

heeseung erupts into an even angrier fit, “are you kidding me? we are not fucking fine. in what world is this fine? tell me!”

you scoff from where you stand cross-armed on the other side of the bedroom. “well, can you really blame me? it’s hard to see if there’s something wrong if we never see each other.”

“exactly my point! we don’t see each other.”

the two of you have been at each other’s throats since heeseung showed up at your apartment. you have no idea how long ago that was or when the argument started. all you remember is coming up to him when he arrived, wanting to actually spend some time with him. instead he shrugged you off and ignored you, blaming the fatigue. the rest has been a blur. one of you made an offhand comment and now here you are: frustrated and in another fight.

a quick recap: you two met at a mutual friend’s party. you thought that each other was attractive and he ended up asking you out. from there you kept going out, fell in love, dated, and everyone thought you were perfect together. three years later and it’s getting tiring. life has been draining trying to balance it all.

“and who’s fault is that?”

annoyed, he snaps back, “oh please, you can not put the blame solely on me.”

“bullshit. i sure can when i’m the only one making an effort here. i’ve actually been trying to save us. you, on the other hand…” you pause again, rolling your eyes, “well, we both know just how much you care.”

his jaw drops, defensively he spits back, “are you genuinely implying that i don’t care about you? about us? that’s rich.”

you move to sit on the edge of the bed, staring at a single spot on the floor. you can see the shadow of heeseing pacing back and forth. you sit there, not looking at each other. the only sounds to be heard are his footsteps and the heavy sighs from you. you think back to the last several weeks. you recall each of the times you have been able to see each other. there’s no substance, nothing memorable. the only thing that comes to mind is that you always end up not talking at all or arguing.

just like right now.

“be real, heesung. when was the last time we went on a date? when was the last time you stayed the night without it ending up with you just knocking out? when was the last time we actually sat down and had a conversation? be honest because i will. i can’t remember.”

“and yet you thought we were fine?”

“well it’s better to believe a good lie than face the hurtful truth. i’m trying to save this relationship. i’m trying all the fucking time and you don’t do shit.”

he spits back frustrated, “well maybe that’s because there’s nothing to be saved.”

“are you kidding me right now? am i supposed to be scared? you tell me that there’s nothing to be saved and expect me to just give up?”

“sorry but i’m not running from this anymore.”

“you’re not sorry and we both know it.” you push yourself back up to stand, resting your hands on your hips, “you can’t say you’re sorry and expect me to forgive you. that’s not how this works.”

“this isn’t what i wanted to happen. this isn’t how it was supposed to go.”

“then make it work.”

“i- i can’t,” he holds his hands over his face, running one through his hair, “it’s too much.”

“so what? what do you mean?”

he finally stops. he takes a deep breath and lets it all out, “i just can’t see this working anymore, at least not like this.”

ii. week one

you thought this would be more difficult. that this would be the hardest pill to swallow. the first week apart may actually be the easiest. nothing has really changed. that’s probably because you haven’t told anyone that you two are no longer together. perhaps the time that you didn’t spend with each other before the break up had trained you for this.

life goes on, with or without heeseung. that’s what you keep telling yourself. you choose to get caught up with your life. you have other priorities. it’s not a crime to focus on yourself for the first time in three years.

heeseung feels the same. he doesn’t see any point on dwelling on the breakup. sure, he was the one who made the decision. he’s the one who put it out there. he’s the one who ended it and the one who is taking responsibility.

lucky for both of you, you don’t have any courses together and your schedules don’t really coincide. there’s no chance at any awkward run-ins. there is this weird, tiny feeling though. there’s this small inkling of something missing. you both suppress it. i mean, hell, the breakup just happened.

iii. scheming

meanwhile, your friends have all seemed to notice that the two of you are off. they aren’t sure what it is. they get that you two have had some time apart, but you’re both adults with lives. you have your own classes, jobs, other friends, and such. no one mentions it because they don’t think it’s their business.

but come on… there’s no way they won’t get to the bottom of it. our resident gossips, sunoo and sunghoon, team up and make it their mission to snoop around. of course, they take precautions to not get caught. the scheming duo find out nothing, to no avail.

now the gang of the scheming duo plus jay, jake, and niki have convened in the common room of jungwon’s dorm building. the 02z are all playing billiards in one corner. sunoo battles jungwon in a game of ping pong. the youngest of the group sits by himself on one of the couches, contemplating if he should speak up. they’ve been in a heated discussion as they try to figure out what exactly has been irking them.

riki, against his own conscience, speaks up to the five. he has this gut feeling and innocently wants to voice his opinion. “what if,” the young boy start out while gauging the faces of the others, “now don’t get mad and just hear me out.” he stops again, taking his time to make eye contact with each of the older boys, waiting until they all nod, “what if… they broke up?”

the group of friends all exchange glances with each other before breaking out into laughter. jay composes himself a bit, still chuckling when he says, “seriously? you think they broke up? heeseung and y/n? yeah, no way.”

sunoo leans onto the ping pong table and eggs him on, “they are literally soulmates.”

jungwon sets his racket down and goes to plop himself next to riki on the couch, “there is no way in hell the two of them split.”

iv. breaking news

“yeah, we split.” plain and simple. three words that crushed the poor hearts of jake and jungwon. he broke the news over brunch. he sensed their curiosity when they deliberately never brought you up. 

“good joke there, dude. almost had me for a second.” jake says, awkwardly with a forced laugh.

the youngest of the three chiming in and agreeing, “yeah, that’s really funny.” a silence hits the booth. “you are joking… right?”

the oldest then looks back and forth between the two, tilting his head to one side like a confused pup. he doesn’t see why they think he would joke and simply replies, “nope. you guys haven’t asked so i’m guessing you tried to snoop around and pick up on my cues. i’m also guessing sunoo’s behind this whole operation.”

“ok wait,” jake interjects, “what do you mean you broke up? you can’t just break up.”

jungwon agrees, “he’s right. you two are just playing a prank on us.”

“guys, i’m serious. y/n and i are no longer together.” the two just freeze, jaws dropped, eyes wide. “besides, it’s better this way.”

v. bad timing

meanwhile the remaining four members of their friend group have met up in the campus library in an attempted study session. so far, they’ve just gone back to gossiping and slacking off. the boys all find themselves teetering on the verge of sleep. that is until sunghoon catches you walking in. immediately going to softly pat the others back awake, they all look up confused. trying to stay subtle, hoon jerks his head to the side in your direction.

you make your way to one of the shelves, searching high and low for a book you need for your literature class. sneaking up behind you comes choi yeonjun, the library aid and a friend of yours. 

“need any help?”

“no thanks, i’m good jun.” you give him a polite smile.

unbeknownst to both of you, the failure of a study group has creeped to a closer table. they knew that you two were friends but they still can’t help but eavesdrop. “will you two please shut up so we can hear them?” the annoyed face evident on sunghoon’s face at the bickering of sunoo and niki. he turns to see jay, snacking and not paying attention. he rolls his eyes at the group, his gaze then catching yeonjun leading you out of the shelves. quickly shushing the three and nodding his head in your direction again, they finally get the hint.

yeonjun steps in front of you, “so you know my friend soobin, right?”

“soobin… as in choi soobin?”

yeonjun flashes his bright smile, “that’s the one.”

“yeah i know him. we had a stats class together a while back. he definitely taught me a few tricks around a calculator.” you laugh with him, “he’s super sweet, and needless to say cute too.”

“well, am i glad to hear that! long story short, he’s kinda been crushing on you lately and wants to know if you’re free. he mentioned your shared class before but he said he never got your number.”

“since you have mine already, go ahead and give it to him. tell him i’m free whenever he is.”

yeonjun raises his eyebrows at your boldness, “will do. i just wanted to ask you first before i gave it to him because… y’know…”

“no worries, i completely understand.”

he gives a quick goodbye before going back to his desk. storming quickly, four faces appear in front of you, all a combination of confusion, shock, and anger. 

sunoo starts, “um… y/n. why are you telling yeonjun to give your number to another guy?”

“yeah, are you cheating on heeseung?” his partner in crime, sunghoon, joins in.

you pause and scan their faces. your face dawns an equally as confused expression. “how can i cheat on someone who isn’t my boyfriend?”

four jaws simultaneously drop. riki’s being the first to close and answer a bit hushed, “i knew it.”

jay turns to him in disbelief, “not the time, niki!”

“did heeseung not tell you guys?” you ask them slowly. “i assumed he would be the one to let you all know.”

“that you two broke up?!” sunoo asks angrily, being shushed by yeonjun from the counter. giving an apologetic smile then tuning back into your conversation, “what do you mean you two broke up?”

“we just… broke up. that’s it. end of story. now if you’ll excuse me, i have to actually study.”

they watch you check out the book you came in for originally and walk out the doors, unsure of what to do next.

vi. the intervention

arranging your monthly movie night was not exactly the easiest task given the tensions surrounding two people in your group. so the only logical solution that they all could think of was to simply not to tell one of you that the other was coming over. a fool-proof plan.

in the dorm of the 02z, you did not expect to see heeseung when you walked in.

he gets up from his spot on the couch, “what the hell is going on here?”

“yeah, an explanation would be nice.” you cross your arms as you glare at the younger boys.

niki, trying to act as mediator gestures for both of you two sit on the loveseat—the same loveseat that was always reserved for the two of you before. “this is an intervention.”

after the confession of their intentions, everyone goes quiet. not a single word is spoken for several minutes, no one knowing how to start. after much internal contemplation, jungwon finally attempts to start. “we brought you two here today because- you know what, i can’t do this.” he stops and cuts himself off, burying his face in his hands.

sunoo sits next to him with his arms crossed. “how dare you two? our parents gets divorced and we don’t even get a notice.” it was common for them to refer to you and heeseung as the parents of the group, being the oldest. although something about sunoo still calling you by that nickname stings, him shaking his head to display his disappointment making you feel guilty. 

you see heeseung out of the corner of your eye avoiding looking up to your friends. “look, i don’t see the big deal. we broke up. that happens when relationships don’t work out.”

sunghoon quickly intervenes, “how can you say it isn’t a big deal? you’re letting three years go to waste and that’s all you can say? that’s what happens.” he scoffs at how shameless you come off.

“well, would you rather us stay together even when we were unhappy?” their reactions were a mix of shouts, the words yes, of course not, and duh all blending into each other.

that’s what brought your ex boyfriend out of his daze. “y/n has a point. we broke up and it’s over. we were no longer happy and i don’t see the point in bringing it up again either. it’s in the past. let it go.” he says rather coldly and sternly. him actually saying it and acknowledging it caused that weird feeling to come back. his body language is off, too. your years together has taught you enough about heeseung to know when he’s upset, especially with himself.

jake takes his turn, looking down at his fidgeting hands and muttering sadly, “but you promised each other forever.”

that prompts you and heeseung to glance at each other quickly, making eye contact and it lingering for a couple of seconds. you look away first, not noticing that his stare doesn’t leave you.”some promises just can’t be kept.” your response then making him turn away.

“bullshit.” it’s the first word uttered by jay this entire time. “neither of you are the type to break promises.”

“some things can’t be helped,” heeseung defends.

jay, getting angrier, asks his friend, “did you know that she’s already going on a date? yeah, that guy, soobin. i’m pretty sure you know who he is. your ex,” he makes sure to stress the last word with a certain degree of annoyance, “thinks he’s cute.”

emotionless, heeseung answers back, “good for her, then.”

you were sure that you were over him, that’s why you said yes to the date. but something about him not caring leaves you feeling odd.

jungwon stops your train of thought, “no, you’re supposed to be upset. you’re supposed to get jealous and confess you still want to be with her. you’re supposed to fight for her and be together.”

another quick glance between the two of you, lasting longer than the previous one. no words are said on his end, but you know exactly what he’s trying to say. “he doesn’t have to fight when i’m the one who ended it.” you knew him. you knew he couldn’t admit to the others his decision. after all, he wants to be a good role model even in his darkest times. he couldn’t crush their idea of love and you did what you had to do. you lied for his sake—and maybe even yours.

vii. him

two months have passed since the breakup. there’s tension amongst the friend group, the six not wanting to pick sides between you and heeseung. they’re constantly going back and forth, like they’re walking on eggshells as to not bring up something that only happened with the other.

to get your mind off everything, you’ve found comfort in soobin. well, more accurately you’ve found comfort in between his sheets, or wherever you two decide for it to go down. that’s not to say the dates aren’t great. you’re not official and you both know that. your latest date, however, couldn’t help but feel weird.

the date was going pretty well. don’t get me wrong—soobin is a great guy. he’s sweet, caring, funny, and handsome. you have a lot in common like your taste in drinks and movies. maybe if you had met him first, you would’ve dated him… but you didn’t meet him first. you met heeseung first, and soobin isn’t heeseung.

you found yourself drifting from the conversation now and then, thinking about how heeseung would’ve been at that moment. you think back to his habits, particularly the way he raises his eyebrows whenever he’s excited or talking about something he’s passionate about. you always found it endearing. over the course of dinner, you are able to notice that soobin has some cute habits too, like him covering his face when he gets shy or puffing out his cheeks. but it still isn’t the same.

“you two deserve each other.”

soobin catches your attention again with that comment. “what?”

“you and heeseung. i know that look. don’t try to lie to me.”

“look, heeseung is my past, and i want it to stay that way.”

“do you really want it to stay that way, or are you just afraid of what could happen if you let him back into your present?”

you give him a teasing glare, “don’t get all philosophical with me. i just don’t think he and i can go back to how we were before.”

“what’s so bad about you two changing? obviously if it didn’t work out, you shouldn’t try to be what you were before.”

“can’t i just try with you?”

“as much as i would love for you to give me that chance, i can’t do that to you or to myself. it’s not fair.”

you hesitantly ask him, “but is it worth it?”

“that’s not my decision to make.”

viii. her

now that you’re virtually not in his life, he seems to be looking for you everywhere. actually… rather than going out of his way to look for you, everything just reminds him of you. the jingles of the commercials you always sang along to, your favorite songs on the radio, the reruns of 90’s shows you always binged. hell, even when he was making ramen, he was reminded of how you would make his favorite for him every time he was stressed over an exam. he was sitting in the back of the lecture hall, trying so hard to stay awake for his 3 hour long class with the most boring professor on campus. he fought the urge to text you since it felt like second nature to rely on you to help cheer him up.

there was a particular night when it really hit him. reality smacked him in the face late one evening. heeseung was bored out of his mind, laying alone in bed, aimlessly browsing netflix to find something to watch. he thinks to himself y/n would’ve slammed this laptop closed and talked all night about random and obscure topics. he laughs to himself, reliving the memories. right then, it’s obvious. he misses her.

ix. promises

the rain hitting your bedroom window had no help on your already gloomy mood. what did help was the bottle of soju- well more realistically, four bottles of soju. it was all the liquid courage you needed to call heeseung at three in the morning. 

you sat drowsily on the rug of your living room, your phone on speaker and placed in front of you as you stared out the dewy glass. you heard the phone ring seven times, ready to hang up until you heard his groggy voice come out from the other end. “hello? y/n, why are you up?”

you laugh softly and ask him, sounding loopy, “why are you up?”

“because you’re calling me. would you like to give me a reason why, and are you drunk?”

“maybe. anyways, you know… i was thinking. we broke a lot of promises and it hurts. i have to know that we’re not bad people. i have to keep at least one, right?”

heeseung groans but lets you ramble, knowing that you won’t stop until you’ve said it all, “go on…”

“we made a promise that if something was going on, if we were in a dark place, that we would talk to someone. well, if you couldn’t tell by now, i’m not in the best place. the first person i thought to talk to was you.”

“why me?”

“shhh… don’t ask questions. i know you’re tired so just stay on the phone and let me talk. ok?”

he goes quiet for a bit, sighing, “ok.”

“i miss you. i do. i don’t expect you to miss me but i just want to say it,” pausing to hiccup, “soobin helped me realize some things, saying some crap like we deserve each other.” you chuckle as you recall his words, “maybe he said it because bad people deserve bad people. maybe he said it because in our own fucked up lives, we’re the only ones who can understand each other. i did a lot of thinking and i’ve come to the conclusion that we don’t. because if we stay together, we can’t move on. we can’t grow. we can’t become good people, no matter how much we want it. that’s life. sometimes, no matter how much we want something, no matter how much we wish on stars or pray, some things just aren’t meant to be.”

“y/n, get some rest…”

“wait, i’m not done. you already can tell i’ve been drinking and to be honest i have been, for a while. i do it,” starting to choke up and sniffle, “because it helps me forget. even if it’s just for a minute that i can forget what happened, i’ll drink as much as it takes. i’ll grow out of it, eventually. i know i will, but for now… i have to do what i have to do. i’m sure you can relate.” you laugh again, getting more drowsy. you bring your legs up, hugging your knees. faintly, the sounds of heeseung’s snores play from your phone. you smile to yourself, “i wish you were here, singing me a lullaby. i don’t know when you fell asleep but goodnight. take care of yourself.”

cuddled up in his bed, heeseung hears you hang up. he lets you believe he didn’t hear what you said. he knows the reality of it all and the weight that you both are carrying. knowing that you won’t check your phone for the rest of the night, he sends you a quick text: bookstore, saturday, noon. goodnight.

as he turns off his phone to try to fall back asleep, he sees his reflection in the black screen. he sees his puffy, red eyes and his tear-stained cheeks. the end of it all is coming and finally, you two are ready for it.

x. love song

seeing him in person is a good idea. clearing the air, letting it all out, getting closure. all good ideas, you hope. walking into the bookstore was a weird feeling. when you spot him sitting by the window, you quietly make your way over. he looks up at your new presence, his feet shuffling out of nervousness. you notice the glass of pear juice on the small coffee table in front of him, already half empty.

“hi,” he says like a whisper.

“hi,” you awkwardly respond. it’s unlike the two of you to not know how to start a conversation. you make your way onto the cushioned seat, letting yourself get comfortable to help ease the tension. you each avoid the other’s gaze, not knowing how to begin. you sigh and finally ask, “how have you been?”

“busy,” he says as he nods, “finally took up actual music lessons. thought it would be better to have someone who’s played piano and guitar professionally instead of trying to teach myself.”

you softly giggle, “that’s good. you’ve always loved music.”

“yeah… how about you?”

“same, busy. i got the t.a position i applied for like forever ago.”

“congrats! you still looking to become a teacher?”

“well, generally yeah. i was having my doubts before but i just fell back into it. finally being able to be there, present, and guiding others… that’s what i want.” you sit there across from him, watching him and taking it all in. the man in front of you is heeseung, but not the heeseung you knew. no, this is the better version of him. the version of him where he can focus on himself. the version of heeseung that’s glowing and happy and ready to take on the world. “so, look. there’s no easy or delicate way to put it but i think there are things we both need to get off our chests.”

“agreed. since it all happened—the fights, the breakups, the ambush interventions—we haven’t actually talked.”

“those interventions… they were silly but the guys did help me realize some things. we’re growing up. sure, i thought we had this plan of us graduating, getting married, having a family, settling down, growing old. we both wanted that type of life. sadly, it’s not what happened and we have to live with it.”

he lets out a chuckle, “heeseung and y/n: meant for each other and meant to be.”

“but not meant to last. what a bittersweet and poetic ending."

“it’s like people always say: right person, wrong time.”

“you know… you used to tell me that our love song was the soundtrack to the best life you could live.” you reach out and take his hand in yours, “i just,” pausing to take a deep breath and compose yourself, “i just want you to know… that if anything happens-”

he cuts you off with a quiet gasp, whispering your name with a shaky voice, “don’t.”

you shake your head and gently squeeze his hand, “if anything happens… if in the end, we don’t find our way back and it isn’t us, don’t think we ended on a bad note.” you drop your head as you chuckle lightly before continuing, “cause you were always on key.” you give him a small grin, trying your hardest to not make things worse by crying. “we were just playing different tunes.”

he pulls you in closer to him, placing his hands softly on your cheeks. “i always hated seeing you cry,” he says as he wipes away the tears on your face, not bothering about his own. he wraps his arms around you, holding you close for the last time. 

you stay there in his warmth, hearing him sniffle as he tries to hold back the falling tears. when you pull away, you tell him “i will always love you. maybe not in the way i thought i would but it’s still there.”

“maybe in our next life, it’ll be the right time.” with that, he leaves a kiss on your forehead, leaves the bookstore, and leaves your life. your duet that worked in perfect harmony now playing a beautiful cadence—two wandering artists, free to fill your own wretched worlds with new melodies, the bliss and tranquility of it all. the hope that maybe one day, you’ll be in each other’s lives again is enough.

[the-insomniac-emporium]

Lying (Next) To You (Cassandra Dimitrescu/Reader)

Fandom: Resident Evil: Village Rating: T+ for violence + language Warnings: Blood-drinking/general vampiric shenanigans Summary: There is no goal other than escape. You want out of this castle, no matter what you have to do, no matter the consequences. At first, the solution seems to lie with one of the very women you want to get away from. But what happens when you find yourself genuinely caring for her? Length: 5,934 words

Merely surviving had never been your intention. From day one in this foul place, this unholy castle, you had strived to escape. No matter what, you refused to allow such dismal grounds to be your grave. But leaving wouldn’t be as simple as walking out an unlocked door. It required manipulation, agility, and the willingness to screw over anyone who got in your way. Even those who you would have once called friends, or the closest thing you had to that among the servants. Was that something you were willing to do? Absolutely, without a shred of doubt in your mind. Someday, somehow, regardless of what it took, you’d get out and never look back. For now, though, all you can do is scheme…

—————————

Three targets, each incredibly difficult to get your hands on, each presenting their own unique challenges. Which would be easiest to charm? You were still debating that answer.

First was Bela: The eldest, most responsible, forced to be the “role model” for her sisters. A bookworm (a trait the two of you shared) who spent a fair amount of her freetime in the library. While not overtly cruel, she was still rather violent, especially in cases where she felt her family had been insulted. However, there were whispers that she had a secret weakness: Anxiety. None had caught her in the open throes of an attack and lived to tell the tale. But she had been overheard, more than once, quiet cries or shaking breaths. Trying to talk to her during one of these occasions could lead to gaining her affection- if you managed to do what no other had been capable of doing, that is.

Second was Daniela: The youngest, most excitable, eager to please and desperate to be pleased. Easily interacted with more maidens than either of her sisters, though not always in a good way. Getting her attention could mean getting pulled into her room in the middle of the night, for some “fun”, or it could mean getting drained of all of your blood. Sometimes she did one after the other. Like Bela, she was a bookworm, though she preferred romance novels as opposed to her older sister’s educational texts. As for her weakness? To you, Daniela seemed to be the definition of “undiagnosed ADHD”. Less exploitable for sympathy than her sister, but possibly useful in helping you trick her. At the end of the day, the largest concern with her was her inconsistent behavior, her tendency to flip moods at the drop of a hat- and a drop of the hat with her could feel a helluva lot like a drop of an axe (onto your neck).

Then came the third… the one you didn’t think was worth the risk, whatsoever: Cassandra. Middle child and acting just like it, she was hungry for her mother’s approval, attention, and respect most of all. Bloodthirsty as could be, with a mean streak eight kilometers wide, the truest monster you had ever met. Even her fondness for the arts manifested in malevolent ways. Supposedly, she painted in blood, and made sculptures from the bones of her victims, displayed proudly in her room as trophies. What could you possibly do to earn her affection? What could you ever be to her, other than a plaything or mid-afternoon snack?... Nothing, you assumed, and so you figured you might as well remove her from your list. Somehow you’d have to make do with one of her sisters. As for which one?... You decided to let fate decide, and go for whomever you found yourself with an opportunity to court.

—————————

Free time was a rare commodity in Castle Dimitrescu. While every servant did technically get one day off every week, it wasn’t uncommon to end up helping with something unexpected, even if one tried to hide away in the private quarters. For you, it was an opportune time to try and get closer to your targets. So far three weeks had passed since your “decision” to focus on Bela and Daniela, without a single interaction with either of them. Still, hope held fast in your chest, as you made haste towards the library. On this free day you intended to read as much as possible. ‘Twas a two-pronged goal: First, you would increase your chances of running into one of your preferred employers. Secondly, you could possibly learn something through what content you consumed, perhaps to be utilized in later conversations.

Or such was the hope. In truth, you did not make it to the library, nor even anywhere close. A quarter of the way there you were interrupted by an ever-dreaded noise; buzzing echoed throughout the hallway, first far off, but getting closer with every second. There was a particular ferocity to the vibrations that you knew meant danger was approaching. According to the other maidens, this was a distinction that everyone learned over time, assuming that they survived long enough. The smart thing would have been to duck away into an adjacent room in the hopes that whatever sister it was would ignore you. But your endgame weighed heavy on your mind, then forced your feet to the floor. For better or worse, you would be in the woman’s path, ready for whatever she may ask of you.

“You-” a voice snarled, as a hooded figure phased out of the swarm and into your vision. Her head was held high, eyes narrowed as they stared down at you, a snarl twisting her lips. Of course it was her. Cassandra Dimitrescu. The one daughter you didn’t want to encounter. Inside, part of you writhes in self deprecation, feeling as if you should have known better. How often did the other two buzz about so angrily?... Well, certainly a fair bit, but nowhere near as much as Cassandra. Fuck, you think, I’m probably doomed. “I’m hungry. Come here real quick,” Cassandra demands, beckoning you towards her with a single finger. In another life you would have blushed bright red at the sight. A life where she wasn’t a vampiric monster, that is.

Nonetheless, you are quick to obey, masking your anxiety as best as you can. Doing so gets much harder once your gaze meets Cassandra’s, and you see her lick her lips before smirking at you. As soon as you’re within her reach, she’s surging forward, grabbing you by your shoulders, then pivoting, pressing you hard against the wall. You can’t help but gasp at the sudden movements, which only widens her grin. Before you know it she’s running her tongue along your neck. Once more you gasp, this time softer, hating the way your body urges you to lean into her touch. Why couldn’t she simply get straight to the worst of it? Instead she takes her sweet time, slipping a finger beneath the collar of your shirt, slowly, carefully tugging it to the side. When she finally bites, it is terribly sudden. The pleasure comes before the pain, stronger than you would have expected, eliciting a sharp inhale from you that sounds more satisfied than you had intended. Even as a rush of pain follows, you can’t help the red that tints your cheeks.

“Enjoying this, hmm?” Cassandra asks, after licking away at your blood for a few moments, pulling back but not releasing you. Something in her eyes makes you need to respond.

“Y-yes, more than I’d like to admit,” you mumble, barely able to make eye contact. But she seems pleased by this, gently cupping your chin while she looks you over.

“Well then, if you survive… I might just have to drink from you again,” she whispers, before diving right back in towards your neck. This time her touch is far, far softer than before. It feels more like she’s kissing you rather than drinking from you. A strange, irritatingly familiar feeling springs in the pit of your stomach, and you can’t help but make more of those noises she seemed to enjoy so much. Hell, your eyes drift closed as you take in the surprisingly welcome sensation. When they reopen, however, you give a yelp of surprise, spotting a very awkwardly waiting servant. They were blushing, clearly not having expected to come upon this particular sight. Cassandra perks up at your shock, turning to follow your gaze, then giving an uncharacteristically resigned groan. “Damn it, Ava, is it urgent?” She asks, to which the servant gives a silent shrug. “I’ll be done in a minute. Now, where were we?”

Once more she resumes feeding, casting aside all traces of sweetness, sucking on your wound with reckless abandon. Behind her, Ava gives you a thumbs up before turning away. As embarrassing as the moment felt, you were grateful to xer, glad that xe seemed to recognize your desire for privacy. More than that… if xe hadn’t come along, would Cassandra have remembered to stop before your bloodloss became fatal? There was no guarantee either way. Yet xer intervention felt like a godsend, and you made a mental note to thank xer later. Soon enough Cassandra removes herself from you, pausing only to cup your chin for a moment, meeting your gaze with a smirk. Then she was turning away without another word, following Ava to some unknown destination.

A deep breath, then another, more frantic, the familiar sense of panic growing on the edges of your mind. Now that the feeding was over, you were left trembling with all the fear you had been so adamant about not showing before. How close to death had you come? How close were you now? Only feeling slightly more faint than you had earlier, it felt safe enough to assume you would be fine, if only physically. Inside your mind you were struggling with racing thought after racing thought. How the hell am I supposed to do this with either Bela or Daniela? You think, trying to breathe past the lump in your throat. And why did I have to enjoy that so much? They’re nothing more than means to an end, monsters undeserving of my kindness, of my joy. Your only comfort was the knowledge that this may very well have been the opportunity you had been waiting for; but only if you could shift your aim.

—————————

The difference was subtle, almost microscopic, to the point where it took you a full week to notice. But once you had? Everything felt different. You couldn’t spend more than three seconds in the same room as Cassandra without her eyes following you, watching your every move, sending a rush of both fear and excitement down your spine. Meeting her gaze only made her give the tiniest fraction of a smile. As soon as something (or someone) else caught her attention, however, you were forgotten in the blink of an eye. Yet it was nerve wracking nonetheless. This was roughly what you had hoped for, but you had underestimated the mental toll it would take on you. There was no way to tell whether Cassandra wanted violence, something softer, or her usual brand- a cruel mixture of both. Every second spent in her presence was a roll of the dice, a flip of a coin, either one weighted to put the odds against you.

But you persisted. Escape was not a dream, nor a fantasy, nor some far off cryptid. It was inevitable. Again and again you would swallow your fear until you reached your long-sought destination. No matter the cost, you think, no matter the consequences. Over time, that cost, those consequences, would grow. For now, it was a slice of your sanity. Next? More blood, it seemed.

“Casserole wants you to stop by her art studio,” the note said, cursive hand-writing ever-so-fancy and ever-so-difficult to read. Clearly from Ava, the mildly mysterious (but incredibly helpful) castle servant known for never speaking a word. From what you had gathered, xe was a confidant of sorts for the Dimitrescu family, trusted far more than the average worker. Alas, xe was loyal to the center of xer being, and was rumored to be impeccable at preventing escape attempts before they had even started. If you wanted out of this damn place, you knew you’d have to be careful around xer. Hopefully xe won’t interrupt this time, you think, before tucking the note away in your pocket.

Cassandra’s infamous studio wasn’t terribly far from your quarters, thankfully, though you weren’t even sure if you were supposed to arrive at a specific time. What if she wasn’t expecting you until later? Worse, what if she had been expecting you an hour ago? It’s a dangerous thought, one that could easily spiral into something far more drastic, and you try to reassure yourself, reminding yourself that Ava would have mentioned a time if it was important. In the end, you still found your heart racing as you stood outside the room in question. Pausing to take a deep breath, you center yourself, before raising a hand to knock. To your surprise, you get an answer before your hand even gets close to the door.

“Come in already,” Cassandra chimes from inside. Unsure of what terrible fate you were about to meet, you entered the room, somewhat reluctantly. Despite the myriad of unsavory rumors regarding the studio, there were no immediate signs of brutality. At the worst, the space was fairly messy, though not due to any, ahem, “misplaced” body parts. No, just an overflowing garbage bin, a few unfinished projects placed haphazardly wherever they’d fit, shards of glass in one corner, and tile floor splattered with a Pollock-esque layer of paint. In one word? Chaotic. Such was the type of environment that seemed to suit Cassandra best, the sort in which you imagined she would thrive. But you didn’t have time to examine anything as closely as you would have liked to. “Are you going to keep me waiting?”

“No, Lady Cassandra,” you reply, hurriedly, shaking your head to clear your thoughts. Then you’re quickly crossing the room, to what looks like a cross between a storage cabinet and a paint mixing station. In Cassandra’s hands, however, you find something less welcoming than a paintbrush: A needle and an empty blood bag. Well, you think, I guess I know why I’m here. At least there’s only one bag, right? “What do you require of me, my Lady?” While the answer was fairly obvious, you didn’t know the specific steps necessary, and it never hurt to be as polite as possible with the Dimitrescu family.

“Just sit down, roll your sleeves up, look pretty, and stay still. Try not to make any noises this time- as cute as they were last time, I have a headache,” Cassandra explains, gesturing towards the room’s only chair. Ignoring the way your cheeks heated up, you did as she asked, trying to get relatively comfortable. It was somewhat difficult to relax, considering who you were with. “Calm down, pet, I’m only going to hurt you a little. That’s more than I can say for most people who end up here.” Why did she have to use a nickname for you? Weren’t you already flushed enough without her teasing you further? Though your flustering does turn to confusion after a moment, as you wonder how she knew how afraid you were. You were under the impression that you were hiding it fairly well. Noticing your reaction, Cassandra rolls her eyes, before leaning in to whisper in your ear. “I can hear your heartbeat. Normally I’d find this… exciting. But my head hurts and I wanted to finish this damn painting yesterday. So take a deep breath, little pet, and let me take what I need from you.”

Of course she had to say it like that, and put herself so close to you. You’re pretty sure that your heart skips a few beats in response, though Cassandra doesn’t react beyond a hint of a smile, merely returning to her prep work. First step was cleaning your skin. Admittedly you hadn’t been sure if that step was necessary, seeing as the blood was (seemingly) for art as opposed to testing, but it didn’t exactly surprise you. Besides, there was a chance she’d drink the leftovers, right? Next she double-checked that the needle was properly connected to the blood bag, and that the latter was resting securely on a small stand. With that out of the way, it was time for her favorite part.

“Since your heartbeat has slowed down a little… I’ll let you whimper if you want to- but only once. Consider it a reward for good behavior,” Cassandra purrs with a familiar grin. One hand gently cups your chin, while her eyes look right in yours, just long enough to turn your cheeks bright red. The moment ends as quickly as it started. Before you know it she’s turned stoic again, feeling along your arm for a vein. This isn’t the first time you’ve had your blood drawn, but Cassandra takes no time at all to find the perfect spot, likely from a mix of practice and, well, her vampiric nature. It’s not long before she’s gently gripping your arm with one hand, briefly making eye contact before pushing the needle into your skin. Does it hurt? Hardly. Do you take a shaky inhale, hoping to please your employer, the closest to a whimper you were willing to give her? Oh, absolutely. And does she react? Oh, absolutely. Her eyes light up for a second as she bites her lower lip. There’s something else in her expression that you can’t quite read, however.

“Enjoying this, hmm?” You ask, smiling, voice soft in the hopes of not aggravating her headache. It’s a risk, and one that pays off more than you’d ever expect. Cassandra giggles a tad, eying you with the least mischievous smile you’ve ever seen from her. If not for the needle still in your arm, you might have found the moment charming, or even… romantic. But you pushed the thought away as soon as possible, reminding yourself of your one true goal: Escaping. This was a means to an end. Nothing more, nothing less. That’s what you had to keep telling yourself. Even as Cassandra ever-so-gently removed the needle from your arm, even as she carefully placed a bandage over the entry-point, even as she gave you a nod of approval.

“This should last until the painting is done, at the very least. I might need you to make another ‘donation’ next week, though. Except, hmm… your blood is quite nice,” Cassandra says. Her tone is smooth, almost sultry, but her gaze is focused on her work as she starts mixing the blood with… something? You weren’t familiar with this particular artistic process, nor did you want to be. “Maybe I’ll set up a nice schedule for you. Once a month you can be my darling little muse, and once a month you can be a refreshing snack. I’ll even make sure that my sisters don’t do anything that might spoil our fun. Assuming you continue to prove entertaining, that is.” You didn’t know whether to feel relieved or worried. In the end you settled for the former, chest thrumming with excitement as you felt yourself getting one step closer to your goal.

—————————

Three months pass by in an easy blur. Just as Cassandra had suggested, you find yourself in her company more often than before. Only twice a month does she take blood from you, for your own safety (which she pretends not to care about), but more and more you find her lounging around where you’re working, obviously by “pure coincidence”. Sometimes she even spoke to you! Teasing here and there, or asking you to do things that she normally did for herself, or scaring you just to hear you make one of your “lovely noises”. Honestly, you weren’t sure whether you were more surprised by how attached she had gotten to you, or by how quickly it had happened. Of course, you didn’t even know if she enjoyed your personality… or just your blood. Either way, you found yourself enjoying her presence more than you’d ever openly admit.

Eventually, when the benefits of your budding “friendship” became more clear, you started to enjoy it even more.

It was early in the morning, right when the castle residents tended to go to sleep, and when the night shift officially ended. Minutes prior you had been conversing quietly with Cassandra, dusting some shelves as you did. Now, with your duties done only slightly later than usual, you were making your way back to your quarters. Along the way you were caught off guard by the sound of distant crying. ‘Twas a sound you’d heard many times before, from many different maidens, but this time felt… different. An odd feeling of sympathy sparked in your chest, and you made the brash decision to approach the source of the noise. When you rounded that last corner, when you made eye contact with the trembling figure, you knew that your kindness could very well be the death of you. To think that you had once hoped for this encounter.

“Who’s there?” Bela Dimitrescu snarls through chattering teeth. She’s moving forward, phasing in and out of swarm mode, reaching a hand out to clutch at your throat. Well, you think, at least she’s stopped crying? More so out of being distracted, instead of feeling any comfort from your company. It’s not a terribly reassuring thought, but it’s soon replaced with a mental string of ???? as Bela pauses, grip loosening as she holds you up in the light. “You’re Cassandra’s new favorite. Damnit!” With that she drops you rather unceremoniously. Then she’s turning her back to you, sniffling before wiping the tears from her eyes. “Don’t tell anyone about this, or I won’t hesitate to string you up, no matter what my sister says. Now get lost.”

Except you can’t force yourself to move. There’s a small piece of you that remembers your original plan, another small part feels a twinge of sympathy, and a majority of your brain sees this as an opportunity. What was a little more risk?

“Would you like me to bring you some tea, Lady Bela?” You ask, attempting to keep your tone neutral, lest she think you were judging her. In response, she turns to look at you slowly, eyes narrowed, thinly veiled rage only outweighed by the remnants of her anxiety. Then she’s stalking forward with cautious, deliberate movements. For a moment she searches your eyes for any hints at your motive. Hoping to ease her worries, you elaborated on your offer, and the reasoning behind it. “I’ve read that holding something warm in your hands, like a mug of tea or coffee, relaxes the brain. I believe it had something to do with mimicking human touch?... Forgive me if I’m overstepping your boundaries, my Lady. I… I felt compelled to ask, to help in whatever way I can.”

“Oh?” Bela hums, the majority of the anger draining from her face. There’s a hint of genuine surprise behind her bright eyes. “Very well, if you say it might… help.” Before you can turn to leave, you hear her clear her throat, and say one last thing. “A little softer than I would have expected from a pet of Cassandra’s.” She certainly had a point. But you don’t bother responding, instead focusing on your self-given task. In the back of your mind, you wonder if you were really Cassandra’s “pet”, or if there was more to your dynamic. Why did you feel so weird about the idea of being a mere “distraction” to her?... Something to think about while you made that tea, you supposed.

—————————

When you assisted with serving lunch the next day, Bela refused to make eye contact, even as you set a plate in front of her, or when you refilled her wine glass. There was a stiffness in the room that you weren’t familiar with. For the most part, Cassandra is more welcoming, giving you a small nod when you meet her gaze. By the time the family is done eating and moves to leave, the sisters are grouping together to speak in hushed voices. While you clean up after them, you cannot help but wonder if they’re discussing the previous night, or if Bela was as adamant about keeping quiet as she had seemed. Regardless, you felt rather good about how the conversation had gone. Hopefully she’s feeling better, you think, surprising yourself. Not that it matters… unless she tells Cassandra, I suppose.

You don’t see her for the rest of the day. It’s a double-edged sword, in a way. On one hand, you find yourself missing her, unused to not interacting with her at all. On the other hand? All the sudden you’re realizing just how involved she’s become with you. Certainly that meant something? Progress towards your eventual goal of escaping? God, you sure hoped so. Thinking about the future, about your plans, lasts you the entire night, thoughts following you all the way into bed. Sleep feels a million years away, and you find yourself staring silently at the ceiling. Unmoving. Damn near unblinking. When there’s the sound of footsteps outside your room, you are more than welcome for the distraction.

“Wake up, little pet,” a voice calls, as your door opens, and someone quickly slips inside. Before you can even sit up, you feel them slide into the bed with you. “It’s too cold in my room. You’re much warmer, aren’t you?” Clearly your darling Cassandra come to entertain herself. Considering how late in the day it is, you feel like you should be upset, and yet you feel yourself daring to wrap your arms around her. For a moment she goes stiff, but she soon relaxes into your touch. “You’re getting so good at knowing what I want from you. Mmm, I think I’ve trained you well,” she teases, shifting onto her back so she can pull you onto her chest. Although you’ve been this close to her before, this is the first time you’ve realized just how cold her skin is. No wonder she wants to sleep with me, you think, blushing at your unintentional wording.

“Fuck, you’re freezing,” you mumble, curling up against her nonetheless. She’s laughing then, without any hint of her usual malice, and you can’t help but laugh with her. When had the two of you gotten so warm with each other? Why did it feel so natural? There’s anxiety gnawing at the base of your skull, threatening to build up into a headache, tugging you away from the softness of the moment. If Cassandra notices, she’s quicker to act than you would have expected. It feels safer to believe that her next actions are a coincidence. Feels… better, when you remember that you are playing her for cheap, that any friendliness is a mockery made for the most bitter of betrayals to come.

“That’s why I’m here, dear. Now hush, I need some rest. With how comfortable you are… I may even let you sleep in,” she teases, before pressing the gentlest kiss to the top of your head. Your throat dries up in response, blush overtaking your cheeks, and you are left unable to speak. The thundering of your heart seems to somehow lull your would-be lover to sleep, while you find yourself growing to love the contrast her chill provides. Somehow, someway, you end up sleeping more soundly than you have in years.

—————————

Another month passes. No opportunities to escape, no grand moves to make in this 4D game of chess, no clever plans to entangle yourself in. Yet you find yourself content. Happy. The work keeps you as busy as ever, but Cassandra often steals you away for her own desires. When she goes to drink your blood, she does so gently, with many soft kisses leading into the big moment. Afterwards she cleans your wound herself, touches as light as a feather, eyes sparkling with unspoken affection. At night, you find her coming to you for warmth almost every day. At first she provides little more than teasing excuses. But in time, she becomes more open, even being so bold as to kiss you on the lips every time, greeting you with quiet “dear”s and “darling”s. It gets to the poin that you cannot sleep without her presence.

Day after day, you find it harder and harder to remember why you were doing this. Was it so bad to enjoy your time with her? Was it so bad to find yourself leaning into her touches, kissing her back, gleefully awaiting your nightly rendezvous with her? Sometimes the thoughts were overwhelming, guilt and shame alike dancing inside your chest. Those days were the hardest to get through. Somehow, again and again, you go to her for comfort. To the very source of your conflict. Every last feeling was driving you towards an inevitable point. A conclusion written in stone, one that had been decided from the very first time Cassandra dug her fangs into your neck.

—————————

Screaming. Horrible, horrible screaming, somehow more pained than that of any maiden you had ever heard, echoing throughout the castle halls, achingly familiar in tone. You had never heard her scream before, and yet you knew that the sound came from Cassandra. Before you can even begin to process your realization, you are thundering through the corridor, towards the noise that rattled your mind so desperately. How could anything possibly hurt her? How often had you seen her push her siblings around, each of them taking hits that could break bones as if they were light shoves? As if the punches tickled? Horror overtakes your thoughts, imagination far worse than reality had any right to be.

When you at last reach your lover, you are frozen in your tracks, eyes wide as can be. There she is, howling with both rage and pain as someone repeatedly slams the butt of a rifle into her head. Behind the fighting duo is a sight you never thought you’d see: An open door. Wide open, enticing, leading straight into the world you had sought to rejoin. You want to leave. God, you want to leave so bad. This is what you have been waiting for- Cassandra has not even seen you yet, too busy grappling with her attacker, movements too slow to be normal. What was wrong? Why were her limbs such a strange color? Was that… frost on her clothes? Or… crystal? Your gaze flickers back and forth between her and the exit, as time seems to pause, memories of the past few months racing through your mind. Goddamnit, you think, this is what I want, isn’t it? Consequences be damned, right? I said I wouldn’t stop for anything.

And so you move, automatically, on autopilot, unable to think about anything other than what you treasured most: Cassandra. One moment you’re standing still in the foyer, the next you’re grabbing a poker from the fireplace. You’ve never done anything like this before, but the movements come naturally, as you surge towards the scrambling pair. In one swift motion you drive the metal rod into the skull of the intruder, hating the sound, hating the splatter of blood against your clothes, hating the feeling of resistance followed by a terrible, terrible give. But the man slumps almost immediately, allowing your girlfriend to shove him off of herself. Still unable to think coherently, you’re throwing yourself into her arms.

“Holy shit, holy shit, oh my god, I- I, fuck. Are you…? Fucking tell me that you’re okay, please,” you ramble, holding the dangerously cold body of your girlfriend close to you, refusing to let go. She’s crying, clinging to you as desperately as you cling to her. But she’s responding in the affirmative. Over and over, saying she’s okay, telling you that it’s okay. Before you know it, she’s the one comforting you.

“Hey, hey, look at me. Okay? Look at me, take a deep breath. If anyone should be freaking out it’s me,” she says, pulling back enough to cup your cheek with one hand. There’s blood on her fingers, making your eyes go wide, but she quickly wipes it off with a scowl. Then she’s caressing your skin again, soft repeating motions perfect for calming you down. “That’s right, see? We’re fine. You’re a fucking badass, darling, and honestly? It’s very attractive.” Now you’re both giggling, you a bit more than her. Because of course she’s flirting right now. It’s an incredible softness. One that you, quite frankly, do not feel you deserve. At first it’s a tiny voice in the back of your head, but it soon grows until it strikes the smile from your lips. “Hey, hey, what’s wrong? Shit, are you okay?”

“I’m fine, I’m fine, really,” you interject, as fast as you can, ignoring the tears pricking the corners of your eyes. Cassandra isn’t convinced, however, and gives you a pleading look. Knowing that you cannot resist her, you close your eyes, sighing, then admit your wretched truth. “The door. Cassandra, the door’s open. I… I came down the hallway and I saw the two of you and I saw the fucking door and I… I hesitated. I hesitated.” There’s a mighty tremble to your voice, teeth and lips shaking. In the moment, you cannot bring yourself to meet her gaze, eyes instead glued to the bloodstained floor. It’s so quiet that you swear you can hear your tears hitting the tile. The air around you is filled with a looming heartache, a shadow over the two of you, hungry for your tears. But the rage you anticipate from Cassandra never comes.

For fuck’s sake, she pulls you closer. She takes you in her arms, making you rest your head against her chest, one hand gently rubbing circles into your back. Shock makes you unable to do anything other than linger limply in her grip. Thankfully, she has more than enough words for the both of you.

“Of course you did. All you ever wanted was to escape, right? And all I ever wanted was to see how much fun I could get out of you before you betrayed us,” she admits, coolly, as if the words didn’t break both of your hearts. At first, you merely start crying harder, realizing that she had seen through you this whole time. Realizing that all of her softness had just been sharpness covered in sheep’s clothing. Except she’s not done talking. “Now look at us. Couple of idiots who caught feelings. So shut up, because we’re in this mess together, now, and I don’t intend to let you go, understood? You-” she pulls back, looking you right in the eyes- “are mine. Besides… you just killed for me. I think that more than makes up for any hesitance, yeah?” Before you know it you’re kissing her. You’re pressing yourself to her, smiling through your tears, forced to pause to laugh at yourself. How ridiculous had this whole affair been? How had you convinced yourself, for so long, that escape was all you had cared about?...

All this time you thought you wanted out. But at the end of the day… you just wanted to go home. How could you have guessed that you would have found a new home, here, in someone’s arms? Despite the surprise of it all… you couldn’t be happier.

[froggie-recs-fics]

Fic Roundup (up to 9/26/21)

I'm gonna start collecting fics I've read recently to recommend them, because making trope lists takes too long and many fics fall by the wayside. Let me know if you like this new format!

The fandoms in this list are as follows: Marvel (SamBucky, HTP, SpideyPool, WinterHawk, WinterIron, Stony, Stucky, SpiderShield), DCU (Bane/Blake), Inception (Arthur/Eames), Teen Wolf (Sterek).

A * signifies a particular favorite (though I love all these fics)

Marvel

Sam/Bucky

double back by flowermasters (E, 12K, Post-Endgame, Time Loop, Time Travel)

Sam gets stuck in a time loop. In 1943.

Things could be worse, but they could certainly be better.

Companion piece here: quick time

I'll explain everything to the geese by napricot (Post-Endgame, E, 50K, Sam can talk to birds)

Bucky is so competent that it hurts my feelings is not a rational complaint to have about a person, and yet, after a year of being Captain America and partnering up with Bucky for the new and improved, post-Blip Avengers, that’s kinda how Sam’s feeling.

It’s not great. It maybe leads to Sam making some rash, ill-advised decisions like claiming he has a previously undisclosed superpower, and then getting caught in a web of lies when he ends up actually developing that surprisingly inconvenient superpower. Talking to birds had seemed like a harmless superpower, but it turns out that birds have a lot of opinions, and they don’t hesitate to tell Sam about them, especially when it comes to his supposedly subpar courting skills. Which is ridiculous, because Sam isn’t courting Bucky. Right?

Rumlow/Bucky

**blueprints for a better world series by itallstartedwithdefenestration @astralhux (CATWS, Post-CATWS, Noncon, E, 115K, Dark Main Character)

When Pierce discovers the asset is no longer capable of getting himself hard during recreational use, he tells Rumlow to figure out what the problem is, and to fix it. The solution turns out to be more complicated than anyone expected.

I can't recommend this series enough

Peter/Wade

*Dead Men Walking series by doctorestranged @lazystrawberrymilkshakes (E, 235K, Identity Porn, Slow Burn)

When a series of murders take place, Peter Parker goes undercover in Sister Margaret’s to get intel on Tony Stark’s prime suspect: Deadpool. Peter goes in hoping to get enough information so that Spider-Man can save the day, but like everything in Peter’s life, it becomes a bit more complicated than that and it soon becomes apparent that he might not be the best fit for the job.

All About Chemistry by TwiceBakedPotato @sedatedkoala (No Powers AU, M, CNTW, 74K, Teacher-Student Relationship, Slow Build)

After serving his 20 years in the Marine Corps, Wade Wilson is cashing in his GI Bill and going back to college. He feels like the old man on campus, but that doesn't matter. He likes his classes. He likes learning. And he especially likes his Chemistry professor with the messy brown hair.

Clint/Bucky

Making Me A Habit by Kangofu_CB @kangofu-cb (No Powers AU, T, 20K, Pet Store, Slow Burn, Pining, Misunderstandings)

Bucky is a disabled vet struggling with reintegrating into civilian life. He has a routine and a rhythm, and he doesn't like to let anything - big or small - disrupt it. That all changes the day Bucky finds himself inside CATastrophe, the local pet rescue, recovering from a panic attack in the back room of the shop.

He’s used to walking by the place, not visiting, but the next thing Bucky knows, he’s hanging signs and being used as a climbing tree for a bunch of freshly-acquired kittens. And he just...keeps going back. First for the kittens, then for the disaster shop owner who rescues actual kittens from actual trees and teaches archery as a side-gig, and eventually because he’s hopelessly in love.

(Clint was in love before Bucky ever walked in the door.)

*Nameless by AvaKelly (Post-CATWS, M, 101K, Time Travel, Time Loop, Slow Burn)

A gun is pointed at him before he can even move from his position, the Soldier's metal arm steady in its aim. Clint sighs.

"Nemo," Clint says. "It's tattooed on your wrist, right here," he lifts his right hand and taps his left index finger where his palm ends.

The Soldier's eyes widen. "How do you know this?"

"I put it there."

Glitter, G-Strings and Other Mission Hazards by flawedamythyst @flawedamythyst (T, 16K, Undercover, Stripper Clint)

“Which is why you need me to shake my booty for cash,” said Clint.

“Precisely,” said Coulson. “You’re the only agent we have who wouldn’t need additional training in the skills of an exotic dancer to take on the mission, and we want to get someone in there as soon as possible.”

Clint nodded, shutting the file. “Okay, awesome. I’ll dig out my sequined g-string.”

“You’ll have full access to requisition any costumes you might need,” said Coulson.

A mission requires Bucky to be Clint's back-up as he goes undercover as a stripper, which gets more difficult with every new costume he comes out in.

Paternal Error by EVVS @skylarkevanson (Post-CATWS, T, 33K, Kid Fic, Established Relationship)

Bucky has never once thought of being a parent. Not since the Winter Solider happened.

Until he falls in love with Clint Barton. And that idiot just keeps collecting children for his flock.

Now Bucky has to pretend like he's good at parenting.

Bucky/Tony

Forms of Love by bear_bell (Post-CACW, E, 33K, Split Personalities)

Months after the Avengers' dispute in Germany, the team returns to the US and moves back into the tower. As always, everyone pretends that nothing happened. Tony is just fine with this. He's used to pretending, and he'll be damned if he lets any of them see him flinch.

Tony's the bad guy, after all. He's used to it. He's fine with it. He's good at it.

Only now, there's something far worse loitering around the tower - The Winter Soldier. No one notices the guy at first, but when they do, Tony figures that he should have the soldier's back.

Birds of a feather should flock together, and the bad guys should start a book club.

Steve/Tony

While You Were Sleeping by betheflame @betheflame (No Powers AU, M, 65K, While You Were Sleeping AU)

It's been years since Steve Grant Rogers Drysdale has spoken to his twin, Ransom. So it was quite a shock when he was summoned to a hospital and found out that Ransom was in a coma.

Even more shocking? That Ransom is engaged. To Tony Stark.

Steve/Bucky

The Road Goes Ever On And On by PipGraham (Omegaverse AU, M, Noncon, Graphic Violence, 20K, Road Trip, Pre-Serum Steve, Past Domestic Violence)

When Brock's continued domestic abuse puts not only Steve's life in danger, but also that of his unborn pup, he flees into the night with just a small backpack of clothes and almost no money to his name.

Steve quickly runs into trouble as he tries to embark on a 3-day cross-country bus journey back home to New York City.

He meets a kind veteran when he most needs a helping hand.

Just Words by LadyRazzle (crimegimp) @ladyrazzle (Pre-CATFA, Soulmate AU, T, 2K, Fluff)

Inspired by that now legendary post: "soulmate AU where you wake up on your 18th birthday with the first words your soulmate will say to you tattooed on your body so you’ll know them when you meet them." Well what if they appear the moment you turn 18, rather than just the day? And what if by the time you turn 18, you'd already fallen in love?

Bucky wasn’t eager to discover what the words said. He already knew what he wanted them to say. He always had.

Peter/Steve

Forgetting It's There by spinstitcher (stygian) (NR, 8K, Crack, Angst, Hurt/Comfort, Identity Porn)

“You’re Captain America,” he blurts out.

“What?” says Captain America, looking a little wide-eyed. He casts a nervous glance at the girl at the counter – he has nothing to worry about there, she’s rocking out to her iPod and could care less what they’re talking about – and says, “No, uh, Steve, it’s just, I’m Steve.”

“Right,” says Peter, and then because his brain-to-mouth filter had apparently been completely destroyed in the fight on Oscorp Tower: “Hey, your butt really is as tight as it looks on TV.”

DCU

Bane/Blake

7 Deadly Ass(as)sins by teacuphuman @teacuphuman09 (AU, E, 23K, BDSM)

Bane and Barsad own a sex shop and John needs a job.

Straws by Menirva (Bane/Blake/Barsad, AU, E, 38K, BDSM)

John works in a smoothie shop.

He has a knack, a second sense if you will, for being able to look at a person and know what they're going to order. It's not the most spectacular gift in the world but he likes being able to figure people out and he's never wrong.

Except for this scruffy asshole who is clearly just ordering the wrong thing to fuck with him.

How is he even finishing an extra-large?

Inception

Aurthur/Eames

Rough Trade by Whisky (whiskyrunner) @whiskyrunner (AU, E, 23K, Internalized Homophobia)

Arthur is an investment banker. He is professional and efficient. He's a halfway decent cook. He's totally independent and has been since the age of eighteen. Maybe he's tired all the time because he works about ninety hours a week which is twice what normal people do, but he's rich and he's competent at his job. He's almost thirty, and already a success.

And there are some things Arthur is not. For instance: Arthur is not gay.

Lucky by earlgreytea68 @earlgreytea68 (M, 37K, Kid fic)

Arthur finds a baby.

Teen Wolf

Stiles/Derek

Cut to the Bone by standinginanicedress (Omegaverse AU, E, 112K, Secret Relationship, Enemies to Lovers kinda)

“Not that it’s any of your god damn business, but my name is Stiles. Do you need something?”

The alpha grins. All teeth, shiny white, straight as an arrow. He’s got this sculpted perfection to him that Stiles is sure has worked on all the omegas he’s ever encountered before, but Stiles stands his ground and narrows his eyes. “A date.”

Stiles looks him up and down, slowly, from the black shoes on his feet, to his uniform khakis and blazer littered with pins, to his face. He frowns, makes a face, and says, “pass.”

Cornerstone by Vendelin (Human AU, E, 83K, Marine Derek, Blind Stiles, Friends to Lovers)

Suffering from PTSD, ex-Marine Derek Hale moves back to Beacon Hills to open a bookshop and find a calmer life. That’s where he meets Stiles, completely by accident. Stiles is talkative, charming and curious. Somehow, despite the fact that he’s blind, he’s able to read Derek like no one else.

Stand Fast in Your Enchantments by DevilDoll, Rahciach (AU, Graphic Violence, E, 76K, Captivity, Feral Derek)

"Stiles knew damn well what a pissed-off wolf sounded like, and every hair on the back of his neck was telling him that somewhere in this room was a very pissed-off werewolf." An AU in which Derek is feral, Stiles is magical, and they eat a lot of fast food.

The Payoff Pitch by Leslie_Knope (Sports AU, E, 83K, Coming Out, Friends to Lovers)

Derek is on the cusp of his second season with the LA Dodgers, and as the reigning runner-up Rookie of the Year, the pressure’s on him to become the team’s star pitcher and lead them to the playoffs for the first time in five years. He’s trying to deal with the burden of expectations and really has zero desire to spend any extra time or energy on anything that isn’t baseball.

But then he meets Stiles.

[maggiecheungs]

Is the shipper worth watching? I've seen you praise it quite a lot and wanted to know your take on it

hi nonny! many apologies for the late response xx

my general feelings about the shipper can be summarised as: aaaaaaaggghhhh the shipper was such a good show i’m so mad it had so many problematic elements that (understandably) keep people away from it. also, it absolutely fascinates me from a storytelling point of view (my original answer to this turned into a a several-thousand-word essay about why the shipper is actually a piece of metafictional genius, but that took me so far from what you're asking that i started again 😅).

so anyway, here's a list of things I like about the shipper, with a big disclaimer that 1) it's been over a year since i watched it so i might have forgotten some things and b) it isn't going to be everyone's cup of tea (and that's okay!). i'll just summarise the stuff i liked, since you can find enough negative reviews of the shipper in other places if you want to, and i'll try to keep this spoiler free in case you decide to watch <3

THINGS I LIKED ABOUT THE SHIPPER:

1) Four (4) of the seven main characters are female, which is UNHEARD of for a gmmtv show (particularly one with bl themes lmao). imo, the female characters (particularly the human ones) are all really well developed and I would die for all of them.

2) The cast is incredible. It used mostly newer and less experienced young actors (with the exception of Ohm, Jennie and First) and it really allowed them to showcase their skills. Also it gave some of the younger gmmtv actresses a chance to have roles that weren't just sidepieces or jealous girlfriends

3) The characters: I love all the characters so much. The shipper is essentially a character-driven show, and they're all fleshed out so well. They initially appear to be fairly stereotypical figures (the smart and hardworking one, his popular jock love interest, the bl fangirls, the evil jealous girlfriend) but they are SO MUCH MORE than that. In fact, that's the whole point of the show--picking apart these narrative archetypes and humanising these characters. Plus, all the characters are genuinely so precious and by the end I was ready to die for pretty much all of them <33

4) The plot and pacing is really good. There were plot twists every other episode, I could never predict what was coming next, and that ending threw me completely. it also straddled the line between multiple genres--fantasy, slice-of-life, romance, mystery, comedy--in a way that felt incredibly fun and fresh.

5) It's funny! In a way that is so delightful and refreshing. It's so fantastically self-aware, and it pokes fun at itself wonderfully--but it's always such gentle humour. It's never cruel or at the expense of any of the characters.

6) The ships! All of the character dynamics are fantastic, all the actors and characters had amazing chemistry, and none of us had any idea who was going to be endgame till the end. (Again, the narrative is very self-aware in this respect.)

7) The relationships (non-romantic): the shipper spends just as much time on friendships and familial relationships as it does on ships. i really liked the way friendship was explored as an important but complicated and difficult part of adolescent identity

8) Its handling of heavier topics, like death, grief, and the complete emotional wreckage of adolescence. It does largely maintain a lighthearted tone throughout, but possibly for that reason I found the times when it did to be startlingly touching and profound.

Some extra thoughts:

- Don't go into it thinking it's a bl. It's not a bl; it contains mlm characters and relationships but it is not primarily a boys' love romance. That's not the story it's trying to tell and if you judge it by those standards then the narrative beats come out looking all wrong. It's a series about a group of teenagers struggling to figure out who they are when their identities are overshadowed by the expectations and narratives projected onto them. Queer romance and identity is a big part of that, but it's not the only thing the series focuses on.

- Not going to go into this too much, but to me, the shipper is an absolutely fascinating exercise in storytelling and narrative, and it only really works if you don’t take it at face value. it's a lot deeper than it seems at first--it's super self-aware and uses its premise to really interrogate lots of harmful bl tropes, and the whole POINT of the series is that appearances lie. All the time. And this is a lesson taught not only to the characters, but to the audience as well. I also find it interesting how the show itself almost never explcitly condemns any of the characters or their actions. The characters do! The audience does! But the show itself deliberately maintains a sort of moral neutrality, and a very purposeful compassion towards all its characters, that is absolutely fascinating, and i'm not sure i've ever seen it anyway else in quite the same way. And i think it's brilliant because it means you can't be a passive audience. The show does things that force the viewer to undertake the same journey that Pan (the main character) does: to decide where they place the line between fiction and reality, what they are okay with. There are bits that are supposed to make you uncomfortable, or go 'wtf'. But depiction isn't necessarily glorification, and it's up to the viewer to decide how to interpret what they see

So, would I recommend the shipper? My answer is: yes, but if you start it and really don't vibe with it, or if you come across bits that make you legitimately uncomfortable, then it might just not be for you and that's okay!

[thevictorianghost]

You said in your finnrey/zutara post that studio meddling was involved for both. I knew that this was the case for finnrey because of racist cowards. But I never knew that was the case for zutara? Tbh I just assumed from the get-go that aang and katara were the main ship and I thought it was cute for them to end up together in the end. Though it is really interesting to learn that zuko and katara could’ve also been a serious thing and I think they could also work together rather nicely. What happened behind the scenes that caused it not to happen? Was aang originally gonna be set up with toph or have no love interest?

Oh hello! Hi! My first anon. Welcome :)

Before we start: I’m going to write Kat/aang, A/ang and Bry/ke like that so it doesn’t appear in the tags and I’ll bold some sections for emphasis. 

I don’t think the writers even considered Toph as a love interest for A/ang. It was always about Kat/aang vs Zutara.

It’s no secret at this point that Dante Basco and Mae Whitman, who voiced Zuko and Katara respectively, ship Zutara. Dante Basco is known as the “captain of the Zutara ship”. They’ve written multiple times about Zutara on Twitter and Dante Basco said in an interview that he really thought, at one point, that Zuko and Katara were going to end up together, that he thought it was going that way, and that he loved the idea of fire and water together.

As for the writers, it’s a bit more difficult to find information, since the show ended 15 years ago. But Aaron Ehasz, head writer of ATLA, has come out and said there was supposed to be a fourth season and it was dropped in favor of the movie. He said it on Twitter on April 1rst, 2019 (while also saying sorry for picking that date, it wasn’t an April Fools!). He said that M Night Shyamalan wanted them to focus on Book 4, but Bry/ke (Bryan Konietsko and Mike DiMartino) “wanted to focus on the movie”. You can find those tweets here. Not about Zutara per se, but it does show not everyone was on board with how the show was going to end behind the scenes.

Speaking of the movie, when asked about The Last Airbender, M Night Shyamalan also gave his input on the situation. He talked about how, by the time Book 3 came around, he wasn’t sure if the series was supposed to end there or if there was going to be a Book 4. He said to Bry/ke: ““Dudes, I gotta know this. This is critical! This has to end. This has to end. If it doesn’t end, I’m not on board. But if you don’t want to end it - it’s all good.”  They were like “no, we saw it as three seasons for each element that he has to learn.”  And I said “great.”” This is where it gets interesting, though: “At that time they hadn’t even decided where things were going to end, even like who Katara was going to end up with. All of that stuff hadn’t been figured out yet.” 

It’s interesting to me how he mentions this is who Katara will end up with. Not A/ang, not Zuko. It’s always about Katara.

 Someone who interned on ATLA has been quoted as saying that “If you check out the I.P. Bible then you’ll see a Kat/aang endgame was never planned from the start, it was supposed to remain a one-sided crush throughout the whole show.“ and that “The actual decision to make them a couple came about much later at Bry/ke’s request, largely because they were frustrated at the popularity of Zutara.“ Of course, not everyone in the production was full on one side or the other, as the post says some were neutral about it. “Some of the crew liked Kat/aang, I know Joaquim [Dos Santos] was a big Kat/aang supporter but more of them were neutral about it, Ehasz was not fond of Kat/aang but he didn’t mind too much since he’s a mature adult and all that.”

Avatar Extras (special events on Nicktoons where episodes of ATLA were shown with fun facts) were released where it was said that Zuko was supposed to be Katara’s love interest. It was said two times at least. I’ve only ever found screencaps of these, but I found these here on Tumblr. 

When asked about these in the Avatar Extras, Bry/ke said that it was just a joke and that Kat/aang was always in the DNA of the show. But if you’re here to tell fun facts to your audience about your show, maybe put a disclaimer that says some things might not be as truthful as they think they will be?

And the intern mentioned earlier also said that “No one was having full-on ship wars in the writer’s room but we did joke about it, and we toyed with the idea of Zuko and Katara falling in love a couple of times.“ So that goes well with the Avatar Extras.

Meanwhile, other writers, like John O’Bryan, have been quoted talking against Zutara in favor of Kat/aang. EDIT: Thank you to @exhaustedhope for giving me a source for this quote! This link also has a few images for the quote, so I’ll add them here.

Thank you again! And also the use of Zutara fanart to badmouth the ship in favor of Kat/aang? Dude.

If this was the way people behind the scenes were thinking of Katara and A/ang’s and Katara and Zuko’s relationships... well that doesn’t really make me think “Kat/aang was in the DNA of the show” either, huh? Zuko was never officially her love interest, Katara never actually “went after that guy”. But the thought that she might made them uneasy. 

(Btw, let’s not forget Zuko actually does care about Katara, enough to put his life on the line for her in Book 3, so that mischaracterizes Zuko.) 

This comment by John O’Bryan fits with this vision of Zutara Bry/ke has, where Zuko is nothing but a broody, emo “bad boy” who doesn’t care about Katara at all. It’s shown pretty well in their dreadful “joke” made at Comic Con in 2007. You can find the video here. Here, Katara ends up with A/ang and “should have never doubted the will of Mike and Bryan!” (yuck). So Kat/aang was always the “right” way for them to end the show, right?

But then! Even Bry/ke themselves have said that Kat/aang was forced. They said it in 2014 when Korrasami became canon in Legend of Korra. On Korrasami and Kat/aang, they said this: “Originally, [Korrasami] was primarily intended to be a strong friendship. Frankly, we wanted to set most of the romance business aside for the last two seasons. Personally, at that point I didn’t want Korra to have to end up with someone at the end of series. We obviously did it in Avatar, but even that felt a bit forced to me.“

So they admitted that Kat/aang was forced. They even mention the ATLA ship wars in the post. “Either direction we went [about Korrasami or Makorra], there would inevitably be a faction that was elated and another that was devastated. Trust me, I remember Kat/aang vs. Zutara. But one of those directions is going to be the one that feels right to us, and Mike and I have always made both Avatar and Korra for us, first and foremost.”

Okay. So what’s real about the behind the scenes of ATLA and what isn’t? Was Kat/aang in the DNA of the show, or did they go back and forth between Kat/aang and Zutara like they did with Korrasami and Makorra? 

There have been conflicting informations scattered across the Internet over the years. Some people say one thing and others react, saying the opposite and that the first thing was false. Some people lied, or joked, to mess with the audience and toy with Zutara - or not, or maybe, or perhaps... What I think, though, is that not everything was set in stone. Some people were for Zutara and some people were for Kat/aang. And even after all of that, the big takeaway for me was: the end result that Bryke wanted so badly was lackluster in and of itself.

[wrenhyperfixates]

Loki Series Thoughts—Glorious Purpose

Ok, I’m always nervous about posting my thoughts, but here we go. Spoilers ahead of course!!! (Disclaimer: Any gifs or images are not mine.)

Let’s start out with the episode’s name: Glorious Purpose. I know some people were a bit miffed about the emphasis put on the line, but I actually thought it worked well. It’s not so much that Loki actually believes in this “purpose,” but rather he is clinging to what he’s been told his purpose is. And by the end of the episode, he’s finally working through some of the things he’s been hurt by, abandoning what he’s been forced into and ready to be who he wants. Granted, it’s still going to take some time for him to come to grips with all that has happened, but I’m excited to see the journey.

The TVA. They undeniably suck. Whether or not it will be addressed directly, they are the (or one of the) antagonists in the show. What they are doing is, frankly, tyrannical. Three “time keepers” have taken it upon themselves to force countless versions of time and people into one single stream. And you know what? They can’t control that timeline. Not like they want to. As much as Loki’s line about “the weak” applies to himself, it applies to the TVA, too. It’s a facade of control that they cling to; if they truly had the right, the ability, to control time, everyone would follow their path. There would be no variants. Now, I could write a whole separate analysis on the MCU’s explanation of time travel. It’s convoluted and in a large way doesn’t make sense.

I’d like to talk about Loki’s characterization. I am, in a word, relieved. From the trailers, Tom seemed to be over-acting, something rather strange for someone so good at conveying deep emotions through nuanced actions. Now I believe any exaggerated lines from the trailers are just Loki trying to separate himself from who he’s been told he is, and trying to reinvent himself. I don’t think that’s a bad thing either; they’re not rewriting Loki, he’s just growing in a new way. And though this way is “new” I think it will be similar to what we’ve seen before. From what we’ve seen so far, there is good continuity, and they are addressing things about Loki that should be addressed in canon.

Loki projects. Most notably in the Avengers, but also a bit in Thor 1 and The Dark World, a lot of Loki’s lines can be applied to himself, though he is talking generally or towards another group. What comes to mind is actually something he touches upon again in the series. The illusion of freedom. And though it is not said that line in particular is him thinking of himself, it can be inferred based on his admission that the line in the gifs above apply to him. Also that little gesture when he says “weak” breaks me. He’s hurting so much.

Loki is not a villain. He may think he’s one because everyone else is telling him that, yet we’re already seeing it brought up that it’s not true. I can only hope that we’ll see Loki state this himself later in the series. He was largely forced to do what he did. It is not his fault, so how can he be a villain?

Loki cares. Tom’s acting is just *chef’s kiss* Seeing his mother’s death hurts so much. I love that his first response is denial. Loki is thrown into something he’s never known about before, being shown things that, to his knowledge, have never happened. But then when he’s had a few seconds to wander around the TVA on his own terms, he’s more come to grips with all that’s going on. So, when he’s by himself and see’s Frigga lying there, dead, it gets to him. Then seeing Odin still call him his son, he feels the slightest glimmer of hope, but also regret; he already knows in the back of his mind that he’s not actually going to get that. Loki’s living from second to second, trying to hold on. He probably thinks this ends with his death. (I do have issues with that Odin scene in context of Ragnarok but that’s more a tangential aside, so I’ll gloss over it for now.) Then seeing Thor and himself acting like brothers again is heartwarming. So just when he’s feeling uplifted, Thanos comes into the picture. He realizes how much control the titan still had over his life; he never really escaped. And in the end, Thanos made good on his promise. And that is terrifying! And he laughs at it. It’s a sad sort of laugh, one that’s slightly crazed. Loki feels that no matter what he does, it ends in pain. By the end of seeing all that, he is a man broken. Rather, more broken than he already was.

Loki is struggling. That’s nothing profound; it’s obvious. But where it really stands out to me is actually in a part I originally thought to be out of character. I am referring to “What if I was a robot and I didn’t know it.” Upon closer inspection, I realize it’s actually that his perception of himself has been so thrown that he really isn’t sure about his own chemical makeup anymore. Odin and Frigga keeping from him that he’s a frost giant made him so unsure of himself, he thought he might not even be a living being.

Nervous tics. Was I the only one noticing his leg bouncing when he talked to Mobius? And what about that scene when he’s sitting on the steps? He begins to pick at his hands. Note, that’s something he did in T1 after finding out he was a frost giant and while confessing to the Warriors Four about how he was the one who told the guard of their trip to Jotunheim. Just a little detail I really appreciated. (If anyone has gifs of any of these things, feel free to share :)

Mobius. I’ll be honest, I’m a bit undecided. I’m hesitant to say he’s evil. After all, we haven’t seen that much of him yet. However, I will say he is unscrupulous and manipulative. His questions weren’t to help Loki work through his trauma. Mobius was trying to goad him into helping, and likely was trying to gauge how much this Loki is like the variant he’s tracking. When Loki makes any admission of his feelings, it’s something he already knew, not a conclusion Mobius helped him reach. Mobius mocks him a bit and pushes his buttons because he sees Loki as a means to an end, and wants to know how easily he can get him to work with him. And what strikes me is how similar Mobius’s deal is to Thor’s deal in TDW. Thor doesn’t offer Loki freedom, he offers revenge. Mobius’s deal is just another variation of this. He can’t offer “salvation” but he can offer something “better”. Working for the TVA really isn’t better, though. So what does he mean? Well, I think he means a chance for Loki to prove he’s a hero. I hope as the show progresses it’s addressed that Loki doesn’t have to prove himself to anyone. That’s what he’s been doing his whole life, but I want Loki to see for himself that he doesn’t have to.

Miss Minutes. Propaganda. Plain and simple, it’s propaganda. Besides the way it praises the “time keepers” as amazing saviors, necessary to keep the world in order, it’s essentially saying “don’t think for yourself.” The whole point of the video is “the time keepers are great. The TVA is flawless. Trust us to decide everything. You have no autonomy in the world we want, so surrender your free will. Submit to the system we’ve decided is perfect and everything will be just fine.” Of course, by “just fine” they mean the variant will be pruned and the timeline will keep going as the time keepers see fit. The animation style was great though! It really fit.

The infinity stones. I think their inclusion makes sense. If you remember from Endgame, the stones being in the right place in the right time keeps the timeline from branching, and thus prevents the multiverse from being created. Likely, the time keepers used the stones to make their “sacred timeline.” Naturally, any variant time stones would cause a problem. That’s why they have so many extras. But think about how pointless so much of what happened seems. Nat, Gamora, Vision, Tony, everyone who was snapped, everyone who was left. So, literally the entire universe was flipped upside down for paperweights. It really puts Thanos’s pursuit of the stones into perspective, doesn’t it?

The cloaked figure. I think there’s some misdirection going on here in one way or another. Mobius says he’s chasing a Loki variant, then immediately it cuts to a scene with the cloaked figure. Our minds are likely to assume that is the variant then. But they don’t actually say it’s Loki, so I’m inclined to believe it’s not. Though, I don’t have enough information to say who I do think it is, I could make a couple of educated guesses and say Mephisto (he certainly interacted with Loki in the comics, plus there’s the stained glass window) or Sylvie. Well, whoever Sophia Di Martino’s character is. I know she was previously listed as Sylvie on sources such as IMDb, but that has since disappeared. But why would you have a “young Sylvie” (Cailey Fleming) without an older version? There is speculation Di Martino’s character will be Lady Loki, but I hope this won’t happen. If they make Lady Loki her own character, I doubt we’ll see Variant Loki get to be fluid. Even if it’s confirmed on the record, it’d be nice to see actually happen beyond a piece of paper. And with twist villains being such a prominent force in modern media, I’m interested to see who our cloaked friend really is.

Time travel. Like I said earlier, this is a lot. But I can’t talk about the episode and not mention this aspect in at least a little more depth. I don’t like how the MCU deals with time travel. I think it’s an unnecessarily complicated mix of a number of different, already complicated theories. However, I think Loki will ultimately escape from the TVA and create a multiverse too difficult to prune (and maybe he’ll actually get to burn the place down too!) This will then tie directly into Doctor Strange 2. Do you guys know what that’s called? The Multiverse of Madness. Actually, in the Miss Minutes propaganda, they almost exactly say “will throw the multiverse into madness.” Will we get to (finally!) see a certain raven-haired god meeting Dr. Strange? And maybe even the Scarlet Witch herself? Well, I’m not sure, but right now I think it’s looking pretty good!

And some random things that didn’t really anywhere else:

Peggy is in the background?! My thought here is that Steve wasn’t supposed to stay with her. This made not only a Variant Steve, but also a Variant Peggy. We may not see Steve, but I bet he’s been taken care of too!! And who knows? Maybe there will be a cameo later. Otherwise, it might be something that was cut from the show, or just a fun easter egg of sorts.

The score was so good! It sets the mood perfectly.

Loki is a good fighter. Even if he’s overpowered, he finds a way.

Some of the humor didn’t land, but that might just be a personal thing.

So now my final thoughts. It’s their strongest pilot yet. So much emotion crammed into less than an hour. A lot of exposition, too, yet it didn’t feel tedious (Endgame I’m looking at you). And then we get to delve into Loki’s psyche, something that really appeals to me! Overall, 9/10. I hope the rest of the series is as good!

Did I miss anything? Was there something you were hoping I’d mention and didn’t? Or do you have something to add or (politely!) disagree with? I’d love to hear it all! Remember, fandom is a safe space to talk about, analyze, and debate about things you enjoy. My ask box is always open with anon on. Reblogs and comments are great too. Thanks!

Me after watching the episode:

[got-svt]

radio star: a svt social media au

summary: when yn accepts a job at her campus’ radio station her first year in uni, she didn’t expect she’d be anonymously singing stressed out university students to sleep. now, a year and a half in, she didn’t expect that there’d be people trying to figure out her identity either. genre: college au, slice of life, humor, fluff, angst pairing: ??? x f!reader

(masterlist)

warning: please don’t read unless you’ve read/been to part thirty-four !! this is the endgame point so tread cautiously ! but if you have read it or you came from there, then…enjoy;)

part thirty-five: worth it

Wonwoo held his breath, waiting for you to hang up. Maybe you’d tell him goodbye, thank him for being such a good friend and all the advice he had given you these past few weeks. His heart ached at the thought of you rejecting him, but part of him expected it anyways. He should’ve been more forward, more bold in his advances towards you. But he was terrified, the thought of losing you as a friend was much too great a fear for him to risk on something as silly as his emotions. There were multiple moments that he just wanted to tell you, to exclaim to the world that you were the one he wanted, and each time he found himself biting down his tongue — denying himself the simple pleasure of openly expressing his feelings. Wonwoo shut his eyes, it was too late to feel any sort of regret now. Not when he had multiple opportunities to actually make a move. 

He was halfway back to the dorms when you called him, his ringtone blasting through what would’ve been a quiet walk home. Wonwoo knew you weren’t feeling okay earlier, he’d spent so much time with you that he could easily read most of the emotions that made its way onto your features — whether it was happiness, anger, or embarrassment, he knew all the clues that suggested a certain emotion. He wanted to prod further into your claim that you were fine, but your years of friendship came with a certain kind of patience and trust, you’d tell him when you were ready and he was more than willing to help you out. He always was.

There weren’t too many people out on the street at that point in the afternoon and he had been lucky enough to spot a nearby bench when he answered your call. Wonwoo immediately knew something was wrong, you didn’t have to say anything the moment he picked up, you wouldn’t have called him everything was truly okay. He sat down, wanting to give you all of his attention, you were going to need it if you were distressed enough to actually call him not even hours after he left your side.

Wonwoo heard your voice, quiet and shaky, and it took everything in him not to run to you then and there. He kept his feet glued on the concrete beneath him, ignoring the twinges of heartache that made its way straight into his chest. It didn’t take him long to realize where you were going with that call, what exactly it was you wanted from him. You were about to make a decision, and you were afraid.

Afraid of how he’d react? Possibly. Wonwoo’s mind went into overdrive at the very thought, were you afraid that you were going to hurt him? Oh no, of course you weren’t going to choose him, he never had a shot anyways. 

Wonwoo took a shaky breath of his own, letting cool late afternoon air fill his lungs, he should get it over with now. The sooner this call ended, the sooner he could fall back on his bed and let the pain fully consume him. 

“Please don’t think about how we will react to it, at this moment that doesn’t matter. What matters is what you feel. We’re grown ups, we can handle heartbreak. Sure it will hurt, but we can move on. I can’t speak for the others, but I just want you happy. Even if I won’t be the one to bring you that. The only question you need to ask yourself isn’t ‘what about the people I hurt’, it’s ‘who is the one I love?’ ”

His voice lacked the usual confidence it did whenever he gave you advice, but he hoped you wouldn’t notice, he hoped harder that you wouldn’t call him out on it if you did.

Wonwoo waited for your response, seconds stretched into what felt like hours for him. He kept his gaze down on his feet, trying to stop the tears that threatened to spill. The sound of your breathing was soft, but he could hear it, you were thinking. 

“Wonwoo?”

Your voice startled him, sitting completely upright in shock. There was some hesitation in your voice, like you were wondering if you should even continue speaking. His heart shattered, you were about to break his heart, weren’t you? He sighed, Wonwoo figured that he would have to quickly move things along, rip the band-aid off for both of you.

“Yn, it’s okay, I can handle rejec—”

“It’s you.”

You cut him off before he could even finish speaking, his eyes went wide. This couldn’t be real, this definitely wasn’t real. Has the sky always been this alluring shade of purple and orange? One hand held his phone tighter, the other gripped the edge of the bench, his knuckles almost turning white.

“What?” He sputtered out, surprised at himself for being able to find his own voice. 

“It’s always been you.” You breathed out, traces of a smile evident in your words and voice — like you were just now figuring it out too. “You’re the one I love.”

Wonwoo hung up, the flat dial tone ringing in your ear, almost like it was mocking you for confessing. Your breath gets caught in your throat, have you been reading things wrong this entire time? 

You sighed, unable to stop the tears that freely fell from your eyes, you didn’t think it would go this way. Well, you didn’t know exactly what to expect so you couldn’t be too mad at yourself, or Wonwoo either. So why did your chest still ache, heart constricting and squeezing as you gasped for any amount of air that you could inhale. Why did you hold onto that tiny sliver of hope for so long, the hope that he could possibly love you back? Did he only really see you as a friend? Was it a mistake even confessing in the first place?

But it was true, he was the one you loved. At the end of the day, at the end of everything that has happened to you in the past few weeks, he’s the one you wanted. It was always Wonwoo, he was the one who stuck by you through everything, who was always on your side no matter what, who took care of you from the sidelines. He was the one who made you feel excited to go to the studio, because you knew he’d be there working with you. He’s the reason you looked forward to walking home in the afternoon, because you spent it walking beside him. He’s the one you could talk to about anything and everything without judgement, maybe some slight teasing, but you knew you could let your walls down around him. 

It pained you that he didn’t feel the same. 

That he didn’t feel the same rush of emotions that you did. The way heat colored your cheeks whenever your hands would accidentally brush, the giddiness that came with knowing you’d be spending almost an entire day together, the way working never really felt like work because you were around each other and somehow his very presence enough made you feel comfortable and at ease.

But he didn’t feel all that. 

Why else would he hang up on you?

Maybe he was freaked out by the suddenness of your confession, you had been friends for so long that it must’ve been difficult for him to see you in any other way. You just wished he told you that he wasn’t interested instead of abruptly hanging up. 

A loud knocking on your door interrupted your thoughts, it was rapid, incessant, like the person on the other side of the wall couldn’t possibly wait to be left in. You wiped your tears with the sleeve of your sweater, trying your best to make yourself look as presentable as possible for your unexpected guest. You knew there was no point to it though, your eyes were probably puffy, cheeks red, and nose runny.

“Who could this be?” You muttered, angry and annoyed at the disturbance, all you wanted was to have one good cry before you had to face anyone again the following day.

“What?” You called out, opening the door with so much force that for a brief moment you were afraid that you were going to tear your arm off. 

To your surprise, Wonwoo was the one at your door. He was bent over, hands on his knees, panting as a thin layer of sweat coated his entire face.

“Did you run over here or something?” Your head was tilted to the side, blinking back wildly at the sight in front of you. 

Wonwoo responded by engulfing you in a hug, his arms wrapping tightly around you, making you step back a bit at the force of his actions. It didn’t even matter that he was slightly sweaty from what you assume was the run he took to make his way over to your doorstep. Your heartbeat sped up, you were sure that Wonwoo could hear it, feel it even as your body was pressed closely to his.

“I’m in love with you.” He spoke, Wonwoo’s lips close to your ear, sending shivers down your spine.  “I have been for the longest time.”

You pulled back ever so slightly to look at him, “Then why did you hang up?”

“I would be doing you a disservice if I did it over the phone.” He looked back at you, wiping away the tear streaks still left on your face. You could tell he felt bad about making you cry, you saw it in the way his head was tilted to the side, how his bottom lip jutted out in the smallest of pouts. “I wanted to tell you in person.”

“Is that some sort of jab at me because I told you over the phone?” Your brows furrowed, lightly hitting him in the chest. Of course he teases you not even seconds after confessing his own feelings. You were about to make a teasing retort of your own, mouth parted just as the words were ready to leave your lips, when you heard him chuckle. Light and airy, almost as if he didn’t have a single care in the world. Genuine warmth and happiness radiated off of him, it was infectious and anyone could feel it from miles away. 

“I’m just glad you feel the same way.”

“I do.” The furrow in your brows disappeared, the look of fake annoyance turning into one   of serenity. Part of you couldn’t believe you had waited this long to tell him, but you knew it was right. All of it was to lead to this very moment. “I’m sorry, it took me so long to realize it.”

Wonwoo smiled the softest of smiles, his gaze on you tender — like you were the only thing possibly worth looking at. A hand reaches up to cup your cheek, his thumb lightly grazing the skin underneath, “It’s okay, you’re worth it.”

Your hand moves on its own, gently resting above his as you melted into his touch. Wonwoo pulled you closer to his chest, placing a small kiss on your forehead before resting his chin on top your head, a content sigh escaping his lips. In that moment you knew: you were exactly where you were meant to be. You were home, and there was nowhere else you would rather be. 

wonwoo’s epilogue <33 

[doufuhua]

Resource tips when playing Genshin Impact, things the game won’t tell you.

I see a handful of new players, *cough* my mutuals *cough*, making mistakes when it comes to saving their resources and wasting their time by staying in a low world level.

Increasing your world level is always a good thing, when you increase your world level you have a better chance at getting larger and more better quality enemy drops, rewards from bosses, and artifacts. I understand there may be the fear of enemies in-game being too strong for your parties to handle, but players agree that accumulating your exp past the limit, like say AR25, is wasting your time, mora, and resin. Spending your resin at AR25 with accumulated exp, you are getting very low quality rewards in return with your world level 1 cap, when you could be getting much better rewards if you remove the cap and were in world level 4 for example. The jump in between enemy levels from world level 1 to 2 or 3 is not a huge gap to be honest, it’s not more than your characters can handle at level 40-50, it will take a little longer to defeat an enemy camp, but your party will survive. So, always remove your world level cap when you get the chance. If enemies really are difficult for you, co-op with someone at a higher AR, some are even willing to do the work for you because most high AR players are at endgame, bored with nothing to do, have your co-op join on and ask for help in your profile status. If the idea of co-op makes you feel uncomfortable for whatever reason, you can descend one world level in the menu, but I find that when I ascend, not once have I considered going down one level, even when my party is 20 levels lower than enemy bosses.

(One of the things I regret doing while playing this game was not following the advice from above, I was AR25 accumulating a lot of exp and not ascending my world level. When I ascended my world level, I believe the cap was 3? is where I stopped. I realized the enemies were not as difficult to fight as they were in world level 1. I’ve been leveling my characters accordingly equal to the world level, by the way, farming for exp books is what you should be focusing on when you’re a lower world level, I will elaborate that on another point. My party at level 50 were actually fine against enemies at level 62 and above, if you fight smartly, dodging and using your elemental reactions correctly, you can defeat them. I lost some hp between each character and the fights took longer than usual but that wasn’t a big deal, upon realizing that, I then realized that I wasted my whole time staying at AR25. It was like a moment of clarity, “oh my god, I stayed AR25 for maybe 2 months for no reason at all...I could’ve gotten more and better materials all this time and level my characters even faster.” So after that, I kept increasing my world level, but every 1 or few weeks, because I was dumb, didn’t listen to any advice, and didn’t farm enough exp books for more than 1 party when I should be when I was a lower AR, I needed to farm more exp for at least 2 or 3 parties. So you see, I wasted time and energy grinding, trying to catch up at higher world levels because I stayed way past than I should be in world level 1. It’s unfortunate when I see players in forums saying they don’t want to ascend because they don’t want to deal with the difficulty, or sometimes there are some arrogant players even boasting staying at a lower world level, asking higher AR players, what’s the point of ascending. Maybe when I was in world level 1, I probably wouldn’t care and maybe even agree, but now that I’m AR54, I realize how wrong that mindset is, it felt really sucky realizing I wasted free time staying at AR25 when I could’ve been like AR45, because now I have to play catch up, get characters to level 70 or 80, so that means wasting more time again to farm on top of already wasted time, it’s like starting the game all over. The game is so much funner when you’re at a higher AR, it feels really nice being rewarded with high quality loot, and if you’re like me, the challenges makes the game more interesting, especially when you have figured out the mechanics by now.)

Focus on getting materials and not artifacts when you’re below AR45/world level 5. When you’re at a low AR level, you should prioritize your daily resin to farming mora/exp leylines and materials for character ascension/talents/weapons. You’ll realize the higher you upgrade your characters, the more exp and mora you’ll need to upgrade all ascensions. Like the chart says in the link, the chances you’ll get any high quality artifacts is extremely rare to impossible at lower world levels. At world level 6-8 (the average that most players playing since launch are at), no one is using 1-3 star artifacts (they’re used as fodder for 5 star ones, so save your 1-3 star artifacts and don’t level them), even most 4 star artifacts stay in their inventory. Every AR45+ player are equipping 5 star artifacts on their characters, because they give them the best stats boost for their dps carries at endgame. Supports can make use of the 4 star artifacts however, if you don’t have enough 5 star ones, because they don’t stay on the field as long as dps characters do, but when you do get enough 5 star artifacts for your supports, replace the 4 stars. I say artifact farming should be reserved for when you get to AR45. When you are at AR45, you unlock the restriction that allows you the chance to get 5 star artifacts. Note that the link in the first bullet point says you’re guaranteed at least one 5 star artifact, whichever artifact you’ll get will also be random, so you may not get the exact artifact that you’re looking for, at that point you just have to try again, domain farming is just like gacha. Players would argue whether you should start farming at AR45 or AR50, I am of the opinion that you start farming at 45 for a couple of reasons. First, you get 5 star artifacts early, second, even if your haul from farming are undesirable artifacts, you can use them as fodder for your eventual perfect 5 star artifact with the right stats, and you’re gonna need a lot of fodder to enhance the perfect one. You’re gonna be farming artifacts for quite awhile which I will explain in the next point. (tbe)

Save your fragile resins for artifact farming, save as much as you can because farming for them sucks so bad (rng). (tbe)

Prioritize what you should be leveling for your characters. What I think people don’t realize is, talents are very important to level up maybe more so than leveling your character’s levels. Leveling your characters only upgrades their base hp, def, atk, and special stat, pretty basic and standard. However, leveling your talents, determines how much dmg your character is outputting with their auto attacks, elemental skill, and burst. Everyone has their opinion but my belief is the order should go: ascend character but do not level to max -> level talents to max (at AR35, if not AR35, level weapons then talents) -> level weapons to max -> level artifacts (at AR45, if not AR 45, skip this) -> go back to leveling characters in order to ascend, and then repeat. As far as character role priority goes, I think everyone is aware you should invest in dps/hyper carries -> dps/sub-dps -> supports. (tbe)

Don’t max every stat for your characters, ie. character levels 90/90, talent levels 10/10, especially if you’re f2p, it is very mora costly and spreads your resources thin. You don’t need to be maxed out in order for your characters to be strong or stand a chance against enemies. As you can see from the second link, the power difference between a level 80 character vs. a level 90 character is a small increment, depending on the character’s multipliers, their increase in damage from 80 to 90 ranges from 1-4%. It doesn’t make a huge difference in gameplay. Stat increases start to slow down or get smaller when your character is ascending towards levels 70-90. Most players, especially f2p, who are trying to save as much resources as they can, invest in at least 8 characters/2 good teams to level 70 or 80 all the way towards endgame, because spiral abyss requires 2 teams. So f2p players have to spread out their resources evenly to 8 characters. If you are trying to get every character in your roster to reach level 90, you will burn out your resources very quickly. Say you’ve been playing and farming materials since launch and you’re leveling characters to 90, you most likely will get about 4 characters maxed while everyone else is too low level to make any damage. Another thing about ascensions is just that it is so costly, it costs up to hundred thousands of mora, on top of that, you spend more mora per level up and you have to do it for 8 characters, a few million mora can evaporate fairly quickly when you factor in crafting, forging, buying ingredients you can’t find in the wild, enhancing weapons/artifacts, and upgrading talents. For point of reference, at AR54 my dps characters are level 80/90 and my support characters are level 70/80, talent levels 6-8 for all (at AR54-55 however, you should have talents level 8/8/8 for dps or support at least, that is a good stopping point), most artifacts (5 stars) at level 20, weapons at level 80 or 90. My teams can take on enemies 10 or 20 levels above them just fine, it may take longer to kill an enemy but it’s more fun than one-shotting in my opinion. Talents are the same as ascensions but they are even more costly than ascensions, more time consuming to level up because they require enemy drops from weekly bosses, and the drops are rng, you’re not guaranteed the exact material you need for a specific character, it may even take weeks until you get the right material (in the 1.5 update however, there will be a converter given to players who want to exchange a material they have for something else, but there is no further info about this yet). The unfortunate thing about this game is that there is too much rng factoring into chance, this is the most common complaint in the community and even though many have sent feedback about this, nothing much has changed since launch, it’s just something you have bitterly swallow. Talents are still very important despite all this, don’t neglect them (Tip: whenever a character banner comes out and they allow you to have a trial with them, you should check their character screen, take a look at their stats, artifacts, weapons, talents, that’s usually a model you should aim for. A perfect example, in Xiao’s trial, Mihoyo made him level 80, gave him talent levels 8/8/8, and gave him 2 Viridescent and 2 Gladiator 5 star artifacts to fight level 90 enemies for testing, and that is the exact set I see a lot of Xiao users in-game and on youtube used after his trial, they all just followed what Mihoyo set up for him). Always max out your weapons, there is no downside to this, your characters gain stat bonuses from them and get stronger, the best thing about it is that you don’t have to spend resin for it, you just have to mine ore as a daily routine. Take advantage of the adventurer expeditions, always keep on top of it, and always assign characters to get ore or mora.

There are some exceptions to maxing out your characters, however. Some people have their favorite characters up to level 90 with crowned talents (level 10), that’s totally fine, mainly the reason they would do that is because they love this particular character a lot, they love their playstyle and don’t plan on ever benching them soon. Youtubers like to show off their maxed out characters as a flex, you don’t have to follow their actions though, it’s not mandatory. Only max out a character because it’s personal for you, don’t think it’s like “oh I have to reach the max because that’s required to play the game,” it’s not that. Another reason for maxing is that maybe this character is a hypercarry and their multipliers are too good to ignore if they were at 90, for example, Hu Tao is a special case, she is a hypercarry and has the lowest base stats with average multipliers I believe, of all released characters, but her Staff of Homa makes up for that by giving her an insane crit damage boost (62%), but for a Hu Tao player who doesn’t have Staff of Homa, the sound of her at level 90 to give her a boost sounds appealing to them. If you’d like a model to follow by, the recommended levels I suggest for endgame would be - DPS: level 80/90 (level 80 ascended), talent levels 8/8/8 at least; 9/9/9 if you can, weapon level 90/90, 5 star artifacts at maxed level (look for crit rate/damage stats on each artifact). Supports/Sub-DPS: level 60/70 (level 60 ascended) or level 70/80 (level 70 ascended) respectively, talent levels 6/6/6 (supports); 7/7/7; 8/8/8 (sub-dps), weapon level 90/90, 5 star artifacts at maxed level (sub-dps), 4 star at maxed is ok (supports), but majority should be 5 stars like 1:4 or 2:3 (look for crit rate/damage, energy recharge, elemental mastery, and depending on what the character scales with, attack, hp, and defense stats). Follow what suits you best by taking a look at the first link.

Prioritize your support/sub-dps characters over dps characters. (tbe)

[realllllfangirllllll]

Beyond Lovers || Chp. 31

{More Than Friends Sequel}

Chairman!Jaehyun AU x CEO!Reader AU

Summary: You find yourself falling deeper and deeper in love with the former CEO after overcoming your fear of love. Although there were rough patches, both of you are now stronger than ever. However, you realize that maintaining a relationship and a company at the same time can be very difficult, especially if someone is out to destroy the both of you.

(Context: This scene takes place in the time frame of the last three chapters of MTF)

Masterlist

{Previous / Next }

4 months ago...

“Come meet me in Paris. I’ll send you the address.”

Jaehyun’s mind spun like lab rats on a hamster wheel as he contemplated the idea of meeting face to face with Xiaojun. He had set his mind on getting y/n back and he couldn’t act scared now. He needed her in his life and this was his only chance.

~~~

The bright sun was hanging low in the clear sky as Jaehyun let out a yawn. Although jet-lagged and stressed, the thought of being on the same grounds as y/n made him feel a bit better. After all, it seemed like he hasn’t seen her for years. He chuckled to himself upon the realization of how much y/n’s presence affected him.

He stepped into the luxurious hotel lobby and made his way to the glass elevators before he quickly pressed the button to floor six. When the room door opened, he found himself sitting on the lonely chair placed across from the lush couch with his heart beating nervously. Never had he been more nervous for a meeting, in fact, he usually wasn’t the type of person to get nervous at all. He guessed that y/n and Xiaojun were definitely of blood relation as they were the only two people to ever make him feel even slightly nervous.

His hands were clasped politely in front of his lap as he tried his best to sit as straight as possible. On the other hand, Xiaojun sat comfortably yet arrogantly on the couch with his legs crossed. His stern, sharp gaze examined Jaehyun from his neatly gelled hair, his casual yet sleek navy dress shirt, to his expensive leather shoes. Jaehyun didn’t move an inch and allowed Xiaojun to take in whatever he wanted to see. He dressed casually but neat with the intent of giving off a good, first in-person impression. He didn’t want Xiaojun to think of him as an egotistic rich boy but a hardworking and polite man that is sincere to y/n.

Xiaojun suddenly let out a chilling laugh that did nothing to clear the tension in the room. “You don’t have to act so stiff, treat me comfortably.” 

Jaehyun nervously chuckled as Xiaojun broke out an eerie smile and offered, “You must be exhausted from that flight. Want something to drink?”

Jaehyun looked at him and saw that his eyes held a stonecold stare that shouted ‘refuse if you dare.’ He quickly responded with a yes and Xiaojun’s eerie smile returned. As if he prepared for this scenario, his hands grabbed the bottle of liquor on the marble coffee table and filled the two empty glasses by its side. He set the bottle aside and asked as he quirked his eyebrow, “You do drink whiskey, do you?”

Jaehyun responded with a quick, “yes sir,” and Xiaojun chuckled, “No need to be so formal with me. You are about the same age as me after all.”

Jaehyun almost choked on his drink at his words and stuttered, “Y-yes if that’s what you want.” Hesitantly, he continued, “By the way...How do you know my age?”

Xiaojun chugged his drink and rather loudly before he bluntly told him that he had searched him up online, read articles about him, and even had some intel from someone on the inside. Jaehyun’s eyes widened at his last statement. He wasn’t new to this sort of investigation as he had done so himself around people he found suspicious, especially with Jaemin. But he was surprised, yet amused, that Xiaojun was that kind of person as well. 

He cleared his glass of whiskey and set it down on the table. “You seem to be a very reliable person.”

Xiaojun gave him a questioning stare as he waited for him to elaborate on his words. Jaehyun chuckled, suddenly feeling more comfortable around the man in front of him and slightly loosened his stiff body. “It’s only right to keep an eye out on suspicious people. I would.”

At his elaboration, Xiaojun’s expression seemed to change into one with slightly more approval. His cold stare shifted to a warmer gaze as he uncrossed his legs and leaned forward with his elbows on his knees. His eyes first looked down at his interlocked fingers and then seriously up at Jaehyun. “What is your endgame with my baby sister?”

Jaehyun sat up straighter again and responded with slight confusion in his tone, “Endgame? I don’t have one. My love for your sister isn’t a game.”

Xiaojun smirked and asked, “Then what is it?”

Jaehyun never broke eye contact with the man in front of him and said sincerely, “To me, loving y/n is like living in a warm home. I only want to make her feel happy and comfortable like how she makes me feel. I want her to feel what being loved means.”

He hoped that wasn’t too blunt and stopped himself before he could say anything more, but Xiaojun chuckled. This time, he didn’t have an eerie smile but a genuine one. He poured the both of them more whiskey and said in a gentler yet firm tone, “You’re the first, you know.”

“The first what?” Jaehyun said a little softer, scared that that statement might hold a negative connotation.

Xiaojun peered down at his glass of whiskey, slightly moving the cup in a circular motion before setting it down without taking a sip. “Guess I don’t need this whiskey anymore.”

He looked up and saw Jaehyun’s puzzled look. “You are much more innocent than I thought,” he laughed. He sat straighter, breaking from his previous position and told Jaehyun nonchalantly, “You are actually the first to tell me something worth my time. You see...most guys that previously held y/n’s interest will walk into my door and say some bullshit. I’ve heard countless fuckers say they date my sister because she will make a great couple with them, she will light up their day, or some equivalent shit.” His eyes hardened and stared straight into Jaehyun’s. “I don’t want to hear that. Ever.” Jaehyun unconsciously gulped and Xiaojun chuckled, “But you on the other hand. You are different. While others think about themselves, you think about y/n.”

Jaehyun felt relieved but not a second later, Xiaojun gave him the same cold stare again. “But y/n means the world to me. She’s my only family and the only person I will sell my soul to protect. You got that?” Jaehyun quickly nodded in response and Xiaojun’s tone softened again. “I don’t know how far you are in this relationship, but you must know that y/n didn’t have parents growing up as they abandoned us quite harshly.” He glanced at Jaehyun’s expression and figured he knew what he was referring to. “So you do know. Well then your relationship must have been going on for quite a while…”

“Not really,” Jaehyun replied a bit hesitant. 

Xiaojun quirked his eyebrow, “How long then?”

“Technically...only a few months,” Jaehyun rubbed the back of his neck, unsure of whether he should give him all the details of their complicated relationship, “But we’ve kind of been circling around the first month…”

“Circling around?” Jaehyun gulped, afraid this would give him some negative points on his approval but Xiaojun stared intently at him and suddenly burst out laughing. He knew that his younger sister was never the one to wait for initiation. She wasn’t careful with things she didn’t care for. All her previous relationships started fairly quickly. But when y/n really liked something, she would wait, go through a ton of inner debation, and finally come up with a decision. Xiaojun knew that because she does the same with photography. She never rushes the process and would take her time finding the right angle, the right natural lighting, and the right model. She would often tell Xiaojun, “Precious moments are to be dealt with carefully because they are especially fragile.” 

Now that Jaehyun confessed the upbringing of their relationship, albeit vague, he realized just how much y/n valued this man that sat nervously in front of him. He muttered to himself both out of amusement and astonishment, “Wow y/n...So he’s the one huh?”

He stopped laughing and stared seriously at Jaehyun again, “Listen up lover boy. The reason I told you to come here was to either show you that you are not worthy of my precious sister or to beat you to a pulp if you didn’t listen like some arrogant douches I’ve encountered in her past relationships.” Unknowingly, Jaehyun chuckled at his last statement and Xiaojun’s ears perked, “Did you just laugh?”

Jaehyun’s eyes widened upon the realization of what he just did and immediately corrected himself, “No no, I didn’t mean it in that way.” He scratched the back of his neck again and continued, “I actually just,” he paused and let out a light chuckle, “I just relate to that as well.”

Xiaojun was caught off guard as he blinked in disbelief at the man’s reaction, “You what?”

A sense of respect coated Jaehyun’s tone as he clarified, “Some people call it reckless, some people call it crazy. But in the line of business I work in, those hypocritical people only fear those with the power of the fist and intimidation.” He let out a bitter chuckle and told Xiaojun, “With y/n around, especially, I just feel the need to make sure she doesn’t get hurt by ignorant people.”

Xiaojun smirked, “You’re not half as bad as I thought Jaehyun.” He smiled and continued, “Anyways, y/n may be my baby sister but ever since we were little all she has done was make sure I was happy. She took care of me more than I did with her. She supported and helped me with my Youtube career and tagged along without any complaints. And because of that, she never really had a stable place to call her home. I’m glad she was able to open up to you. She usually never tells someone about her parents until at least a year into the relationship. It shows she really is comfortable around you. And judging from the way you react to my words and actions, it seems I don’t need to play the role of a protector for her anymore. You seem to suit the role.”

Before Jaehyun could respond Xiaojun immediately cut him off, “But one more thing. As a Youtuber, I know the public forum can be harsh and the spotlight will never be easy. For that, I know the situation at the Starship Charity Ball was not entirely your fault,” His cold stare came back as he stared seriously at Jaehyun, “But don’t you ever dare forget this. When you walk out this door and go to y/n, you will do everything in your power to help and protect her. It might not be entirely your fault, but it was because of you that y/n is now in the spotlight.”

Jaehyun replied in agreement almost immediately and Xiaojun continued, “Take the consequences and make the best of it.” He narrowed his eyes and made sure Jaehyun understood his commands. “But don’t you ever let y/n get hurt by it.” He continued and emphasized his last point in a much deeper and darker tone, “You hurt my only family and I will show you no mercy. However hurt y/n becomes, I will give that back to you threefold, understood?”

“Of course! I will always be by her to protect her. No matter who or what gets in the way,” Jaehyun replied quickly and genuinely. 

Xiaojun shut his eyes for a moment and nodded, content with his response and overall behavior. 

“Effiel Tower,” he opened his eyes again and looked at Jaehyun with a soft and somewhat hopeful gaze, “She should be somewhere around the Effiel Tower right now.”

Jaehyun immediately popped up from his seat, ready to meet his love again. Before he twisted the doorknob of the hotel room, he turned around and told Xiaojun with the utmost respect, “I will treat her like my own family, I promise.”

Xiaojun chuckled and leaned against the soft pillows on the couch, “You better lover boy, my fists are ready to fight any time of the day.”

———

• Dropping a post early since I’ll be off to celebrate my bday!! •

[macgyverseries]

rebutting and debunking frequently used arguments against macriley

I made this 10-page google doc rant a while ago, but I never ended up posting it. Today, however, I woke up and chose violence. So here it is: my thoughts on frequently used arguments against macriley.

I took some quotes and arguments that people put online (reddit, tumblr..), and I debunked them all :p I feel like I always see the same arguments all the time, and I’m honestly getting a little tired of hearing them. I’m here to settle this once and for all.

and yes, i did manage to cut down the google doc by 3 pages :D (but it's still long af so rip my brain)

1.”Mac and Riley are siblings because Jack is their father”

I can (mostly) get behind the argument that Mac and Riley shouldn’t be in a romantic relationship because of their super strong friendship. Some people really value that sole platonicness, and I get that.

But the argument that I can’t get behind is that: Mac and Riley are siblings because Jack is their father figure”

If you google the definition of “father,” the first result that comes up is: “a man in relation to his children.”

Now, Jack was definitely the father figure to Riley, and I would consider her his child. He raised her. He helped shape her ideals and upbringing.

Mac only met Jack when he left MIT. So it was pretty much after Mac was raised (by Bozer’s parents haha), that Jack really came into his life. Mac already became his own person. (also, I always saw Mac and Jack as more of a bromance)

So because Riley and Mac met Jack at different periods of their lives, and they were raised differently, I wouldn’t say that they were siblings who were raised by the same father.

2. “The show writers left the impression that there was a huge age gap between them”

I understand this a little. I do think Riley was introduced as pretty young and idk naive? Because she was literally in highschool, and then she went to prison, and then she got released into the wild. Personally, when I started watching the show, I googled the whole cast. So I started the show knowing that they were the same age.

And also, the more I got to know Riley, the more that I thought that Riley was more mature and had an old soul herself. I think it was because she was just a dynamic and round character, who is well-developed.

But, I get first impressions. I feel like once you get stuck on an impression, it’s hard to go away from that.

Also, Jack would’ve totally shipped macriley, and you can’t change my mind.

3. "Riley isn't ready for a relationship"

I honestly think that this argument should be more geared towards Mac. He needs to figure himself out and go to therapy ffs. However, this person targeted Riley (the literal queen), so I shall defend her:

I understand wanting Riley to take some time off, and figure herself out before going straight into another relationship with someone. But here’s the thing. Throughout the first few seasons Riley’s character was very well established, and she didn’t have any partners during that time. She has proven that she is a strong, well-rounded, independent woman (with or without a partner). So i think it is valid to say that she isn’t just some girl who only has boy toys. She is much more than that.

My next point is that Riley has made it clear that she wants a lasting relationship with someone who will support her. When talking with Mac in 4.04, we see her express her interest in a stable, healthy relationship. It’s not wrong to go out and look for that potential partner. This applies to everyone (not just fictional characters): It’s going to take a few relationships and self-discovery, to find a good relationship, and people shouldn’t be shamed for searching for that.

Riley has only ever had two major boyfriends that I remember. First was Billy; she took that relationship very seriously. She really did seem happy with him. It was a shame that he cheated on her. Second was Aubrey. She also took that relationship very seriously. She had been living with him for six months (and they even had the cutest date nights!) So I wouldn't say that Riley only has boy toys. She has meaningful relationships.

Lastly, I think this was written when season four started airing, but it’s been over a year (and a pandemic) since Riley has dated. I think enough time has passed.

*4. I had to split this one up because, oh boy, there is a lot to unpack here.

4a. “If that was the direction they’d chosen to take with that relationship from square one… My issue with it is that Mac and Riley were presented to us as friends/ found siblings for three years. There were NO romantic vibes to speak of between them..”

I actually felt the same way about macriley. The thought of them being together in season one, made me want to throw up. I don’t think the writers intended on having macriley, and I was perfectly fine with that.

I know that people look for different things when they ship. Some really like having instant gratification with the spicy, hot, sexy parts of a relationship, like macdesi (which is why I was fine with the idea of shipping macdesi in the past).

I always wanted to see macriley do more: have hot, flirtatious banters/interactions. it can be hard to ship people who seem to be missing that part of the love equation. So i agree. It's definitely strange. And I understand if you genuinely have a hard time seeing the romantic potential of macriley, when the writers have only dragged out and shown us the platonic potential of them.

Also, the reason why it is difficult to see macriley as romantic, was because they ALWAYS PRIORITIZED AND WERE DRIVEN on their friendship. A partner should be friends first, and then makeout buddies second.

But just because people start off as friends, doesn’t mean that they still don’t have that potential to be lovers. Because guess what?! Feelings change. It’s now canon that Riley has feelings for Mac, and Mac always had feelings for Riley (but never acted on it).

I'm sorry, but you like a boomer when you say “bAcK iN mY dAy, tHeY dIdN’t HaVe fEeLiNgS fOr EaCh oThEr.” like okaAAAyyYYyYY????? We are not “back in your day” anymore. We are in the present. We are in today. And today, macriley is real :)

4b. “There’s the incredibly tired trope where long-term coworkers suddenly catch feelings for each other out of nowhere”

Personally, I will never get tired of the friends to lovers trope. I think the fact that Mac and Riley had such a strong friendship and foundation is what makes them perfect. Again, I know that some people just like instant gratification, but I love when a couple can take their time to have depth, emotion, and realness in their relationship.

Obviously I am biased because I have so much love for this trope, it's my favorite trope, but I don't see why you would use the “it’s overused” as reasoning to hate a ship. Just because a trope is used a lot, doesn’t mean it is bad (that’s probably why it is so good lmao). I can understand getting tired of it, and growing a dislike towards a trope. For example, I have grown an extreme dislike towards the love triangle.

A bit of a tangent: But the difference between overusing love triangles and overusing friends to lovers, is that love triangles aren’t just commonly used tropes. They are cliches. They cause unwanted drama and unnecessary hurt to one character. Whereas friends to lovers doesn’t involve as much drama and pain for a character. It is more of just angst between two people. And we know that they will get together eventually with a happy ending. So it was never really problematic.

And even then, the great thing about overusing or utilizing tropes, is that they can act as a guide. It allows the show writers and cast to make it personal, make it their own, adding their own special flair to it

I just don’t see the “this trope is used a lot” as a valid reasoning for disliking a ship .It just seems like this commenter doesn’t like the friends to lovers trope for the sake of not liking it.

I could be very wrong in my assumption of this person’s thoughts on friends to lovers, maybe there is a deeper reasoning as to why they don’t like it, but the tone that i interpreted when i read this section, was that they don’t have a real reason to dislike it, it’s more of just because.

4c.“then there's the fact that Riley had a mostly single Mac in her life for 3-4 years and she never even considered him romantically until he was with someone else”

First: Riley didn’t CHOOSE to fall in love. You may recall that “emotions aren’t a science. You can’t control them.”

Second: Mac was broken up with Desi when she caught feelings for him. Plus, the moment Riley saw that Mac and Desi were getting happy together, she moved out and gave them space. She sacrificed her own feelings for his happiness, despite the fact that her heart was breaking.

4d. “and finally, Mac not only still doesn't seem to even have Riley on his radar in that way but he literally told another woman that he loves her just last week. Neither of them look particularly good here if they get together now.”

I'm assuming that this was written when 4.12 first aired. I'm also assuming that this comment was more directed towards the idea of Mac and Riley getting together immediately at the end of the season, rather than later down the road. I always saw of macriley as more of endgame material. That i would see them get together sometime in the future. So I agree. Macriley getting together during that time period, would be too rushed and unsatisfying.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

So those were most of the supposed arguments that I saw for people who were against macriley, but I also wanted to provide some really good examples of people who were very respectable, and actually had valid reasoning for disliking them.

1. they just don’t like shipping in general

Ships can be annoying af. Seeing people ONLY focus on the ships is sometimes tiring. I, myself, even feel a little guilty making this post, because I need to chill and mind my own business lmaooo. I really should let people do whatever they want to do with their lives, and not get caught up in the ships, but here I am :p

Anyways, I know that there is a lot of unnecessary drama that comes with shipping, and it's tiring to see people constantly go on and on about romance, when there are other perfect things about the show.

2. No matter how hard they try, they just feel it.

This is literally so dumb (and a little hypocritical/self-contradictory), but if you have a gut feeling, and you just can’t get yourself to ship it, I get it. If you truly and genuinely believe that they are best platonic friends, I can't change your opinion. And I have respect for you (if you say it in a kind manner).

Here is a nice example of a person who expressed their opinion in a nice way, with no BS.

So the moral of the story: I can't control your deepest thoughts. I can't control your gut feelings. And that’s okay. But the moment that you start backing up your thoughts and insights with BS reasoning, is the moment that I lose respect for you.

[imagine-loki]

Loki's Daughter

TITLE: Loki’s Daughter CHAPTER NO./ONE SHOT: Chapter 12: The King of Books

Previous Chapter: Chap 11 AUTHOR: traveling_classicist ORIGINAL IMAGINE: Imagine Avengers: Endgame AU Loki that gets away with tesseract has been using it to explore the universe. During his adventures, he comes across a little girl with developing but oppressed magical abilities. Intrigued (and subconsciously lonely) Loki keeps her around. RATING: Fic is M; this chap is G

AO3 Link: Here NOTES/WARNINGS: Fluff and stuff

Chapter 12: The King of Books

Kuna and Loki returned to the lush, green planet they had left. Loki liked how quiet it was. It would be a good place for them to lie low for a short time while he studied the books on curses they had taken and figure out the best course of action for Kuna. Frigga had given him plenty of advice and forewarning about what to expect when lifting her curse.

“You will likely have to confront the sorcerer who placed this curse on her,” she had said. They stood in the dense forest of Asgard while Kuna covered her ears. Loki did not want her hearing anything about the curse in case it would cause her further pain. “If he is alive, that is. If not, things may be even more complicated.”

“How do you mean?” Loki had asked her.

“If he’s not, you’ll have to attempt to lift the curse yourself. The books you’ve taken may help you more in that regard. All I know is that it is incredibly dangerous for everyone involved.” She looked down at Kuna with concern. “Curses like these can become their own sentient entities. Parasites that can protect and defend themselves, often with devastating consequences to the host.”

“Yes, I think I’ve already experienced this,” Loki replied, thinking back to how Kuna had kicked him out of her mind when he had tried to see her past. “I believe it has already begun to protect itself from being destroyed. I fear for Kuna’s safety, if I try this.”

“It can be done, Loki, but coercing the casting sorcerer is likely the safest route to lifting it.”

“Hmm. That might be difficult. He’s protected himself by not allowing Kuna to speak about the curse or her magic at all. Even if we do return to her home system, finding him would be like finding a needle in a haystack.”

“Well, you always did love a challenge, darling,” she said, affectionately.

They had bid farewell to Frigga in the forest and returned to the portal they had entered from. Loki did not dare use the tesseract on Asgard. The Allfather would surely have Asgard’s scholars looking for its energy signatures. The portal led out onto Alfheim where Loki could easily teleport them away to the safety of the green planet the tesseract had chosen for them.

They reappeared this time near a copse of trees in a deep valley. They seemed to be far from wherever they had camped last. The mountains were still visible but far in the distance and trees now dominated the landscape. Loki preferred the cover of the trees to the openness of the mountaintop. It felt more secure. They decided to make camp there. He set up the tent while Kuna explored the nearby trees.

“Don’t go too far,” Loki said. “I still find it strange that we’re the only living beings here.”

Kuna walked around the trees, feeling their bark with her hand. She could smell flowers and other earthy aromas that calmed her. She liked being outside, away from the nasty smelling city. She picked a suitable tree and climbed up it with ease. Loki was impressed.

He watched her hop from branch to branch with ease. She ran through the limbs of the trees, barely moving them as she went. Then, she crouched low and leapt from one tree to another and continued on bouncing through the branches like a little squirrel.

Loki smiled. It was nice to see her exploring and playing. He finished setting up their tent and began producing stacks of books, the books they’d stolen, for him to research. He picked a comfy looking tree and sat down, leaning back against it. A breeze whistled softly through the leaves above him and the grass at his feet. He had to admit that the tesseract had picked a nice planet for them to come to, though he still did not understand how.

He pushed the thought from his mind and set to reading his book Curses and Their Counters. It proved to be a long-winded, dense discussion on the morality of curses and why such magic should be banned from the modern grimoire. He rolled his eyes and set the book aside, picking up another.

Kuna spied on him from above, watching as he read speedily through each book and firmly set each aside. He shifted uncomfortably against the and rubbed his back. Grumbling to himself, he tossed another book away and picked up yet another. The stacks around him were growing ever higher.

Kuna quietly climbed down from her perch and snuck up behind him. Their satchel lay on the ground by the roots of the tree. Carefully, she put her hand into the bag, searching. Pushing aside her toys and various other items, her fingers landed on its decorated handle of the dagger Loki had purchased on Tenanci’i.

“What are you doing?” Loki asked, not looking up from his book.

“It’s a surprise?” Kuna said, wondering how he knew she was there.

“A surprise that requires a dagger normally ends up with someone dying,” he said, turning a page calmly. “Are you going to stab me?”

“No.”

“All right. Just don’t chop your fingers off.”

“I won’t!” She grabbed the dagger and ran off towards the trees.

“Walk!” Loki said. Kuna slowed, walking excitedly.

She approached a tree with long, hanging vines. She took hold of one and pulled, hoping it would come down on its own. But it held tight to its roost high in the tree. The tree itself looked wilted. Some of its leaves were still brown and the vines were starting to stifle the tree’s trunk and branches.

She climbed up to its tallest branches and began cutting down the long vines. When she had a nice pile at the base of the tree, she carefully climbed down and gathered them up. She wound them up in tight spools and looped them over her arms. Trouncing through the tall grass, she was careful to pass behind Loki so he wouldn’t see her surprise. She made her way back to the tree she had climbed before, tossing her vines on the ground, along with the dagger.

Plopping down on the grass, she began her work, unspooling the vines and laying them out in a grid around her. She stood and began to weave the vines in and around each other, over and under. Now and then, tying off an end and beginning with a new vine. When she was happy with her work, she hoisted it between two trees. She stood back, examining her creation. Nodding with satisfaction, she ran to Loki.

She stopped short, realizing Loki was deep in thought as he read. She was afraid to interrupt but excitement was boiling over her. “Loki?” she said, softly.

He looked up from his book at her. “Mmm? Please, don’t tell me you chopped off your fingers.”

“I didn’t,” she said, showing him all her fingers.

“Good,” he said. “What is it?”

“I made something for you.”

Startled, Loki looked back up. “You made something… for me?”

“Mmm-hmm.” She looked down at her feet, putting her hands behind her back.

He squinted at her and then smiled wickedly. “Young lady, if you stab me with that dagger…”

“It’s not the dagger!” she cried, laughing as he did. “Come and look!” She ran behind him and pushed on his back to make him stand. He purposely leaned back against her, smiling. “You’re so heavy!”

“Oh, all right,” he said, standing up quickly. Kuna fell forward on her face but jumped right back up again, grabbing Loki’s hand.

“This way! Close your eyes!”

“I don’t know if I like that.”

“It’s more of a surprise that way! Please!” she begged, looking up at him with big eyes. She pulled on his hand, making him lean over and whispered, “I promise I won’t stab you.”

“Oh, well when you put it that way.” He closed his eyes and let her lead the way.

She positioned him in front of the tree, making sure he was in just the right place to see her creation.

“Okay, okay. Open!”

Loki opened his eyes. Hanging between two trees was a beautifully crafted hammock. His lips parted in surprise at Kuna’s skill.

“It’s for you!” she said.

“For me?” he looked down at her. She nodded, smiling.

“So that you’re comfortable while you read.”

Loki didn’t know what to say. “It’s beautiful, Kuna. Where did you learn this?”

“All the slaves on Torileena know how make them. The Masters like to sleep in them to stay off the dirty ground. We put them way high up in the trees, away from all the scary monsters.”

“Where did you sleep?”

“On the ground,” she said. She took his hand again. “Come on! Try it!”

Loki climbed unsteadily into the hammock. It was the perfect size for him. He thought the vines would be rough on his skin but instead they were soft and supple. He looked down at Kuna.

“I love it but it’s missing something,” he said. Kuna frowned, looking around. Loki picked her up and set her down beside him in the hammock. “Ah. That’s better. Now it’s perfect.” She giggled and hugged him. “This is lovely, Kuna. Thank you.”

She cuddled next to him. He took out his book and began reading again. Kuna watched. She wondered what all the sticks on the page said.

“Does this book have pictures like the mushroom book?” she asked.

“No, I don’t think this one will have any pictures. If it does, they won’t be fun pictures,” Loki replied.

“Oh.”

“But I did manage to swipe a few storybooks from Odin’s study – I’m sure he won’t miss those either – they have lots of nice pictures in them.”

Kuna smiled for a moment, but it faded.

“Kuna, what’s wrong?”

“W-will you teach me how to read?” she asked, her voice barely audible.

“Of course, I will. We’ll learn with the storybooks just like I did.”

“Really?”

“Yes, I promise.”

Kuna’s smile returned. She laid her head against Loki’s shoulder. She hadn’t realized how tired she was until now. She slowly drifted off to sleep as the hammock swayed.

Loki tried to focus on his book but he too was quite tired. They were safe here and the hammock was far comfier than having to squish through the hivetent’s door, so he allowed himself to drift off as well. The matter of Kuna’s curse was not going to be solved in a day. He would need time to study and plan in order to ensure the curse was lifted properly.

For the first time in a while, he felt content with where he was. Kuna lay beside him peacefully. They were safe. He wasn’t rotting in some prison. He had an ally in his mother. He had half expected her to hand him over to the guards. He was sure Odin had brainwashed her with falsified stories of his exploits on Midgard. Heimdall could no longer see Loki at all so his visions only came from his sightings of Thor. Of course, he had the rest of Asgard to watch over; he could hardly watch the prince all the time.

Loki had been surprised by Odin’s rebuke of his eldest, most beloved son. It seemed he was content with leaving Thor stranded on Midgard to stew in his ‘failure’. Loki chuckled to himself. He could never think of a time when Odin had thought Thor had failed. Save, perhaps, for his most recent blunder with the Jotuns that had him exiled to Midgard the first time. This seemed far more serious. And it made Loki feel wickedly pleased with himself.

He hates you too, you know, the voice in his head echoed.

“Please. As if I care,” Loki spat in thought.

Oh, but I think you do.

“Why would I care what he thinks? He’s a…”

“He’s a murderer and a thief!” Laufey’s voice rang out in Loki’s mind, jarring his memory back to Jotunheim. He shook his head. He didn’t like to think about that dreadful place or the time he and Thor had gone there together; when he had learned what he truly was.

You’re a murderer and a thief too. Just like Odin.

“I am not just like Odin.”

But that’s all you’ve ever wanted to be, the voice was cool. Loki could feel the treacherous sting behind his words. Just like father.

“He’s not my father!” Loki shut the book in disgust with himself.

Pathetic.

“What does it matter now anyway? He hates me.”

Loki’s eyes opened. He looked down at Kuna’s brown hair. His jaw tightened.

Sentiment. For a child. Is this love?

Loki squeezed his eyes shut but was confronted by a sudden flash of memory. Sitting in the glass box on the helicarrier.

“Is this love, Agent Romanov?” he scoffed.

Agent Romanov’s voice echoed in his head, “Love is for children…”

Loki shook his head, rattling the memory away but her voice echoed.

Sentiment.

Loki’s eyes opened, settling on Kuna. His breath was ragged and heavy.

Sentiment, the word echoed through his mind so loud it seemed to rattle his in his skull.

A darkness settled over his vision, clouding everything. He tried hard to push the rage he was feeling down deeper. Imagining a bottomless chasm, he gathered all of his emotions and painful memories together and tossed them into the abyss. He seethed. He only felt angrier and more resentful.

“Loki?” Kuna’s voice broke him out of it.

He looked down at her. His eyes must have been fierce because she flinched.

“Are you okay?” she whispered.

“Hmm? Yes. I was just thinking,” Loki responded.

“Who were you talking to?

“Hmm? Oh, no one.”

Kuna sat quietly for a moment. She did not like the way Loki had looked just then. The way he had been staring through her made her feel nervous. “I’m cold,” she whispered.

“Are you? Let’s go inside. It’s getting dark.”

He got up out of the hammock and picked her up, taking the book with him as well. They went inside the hivetent and he set her down on the floor. She took out their bedrolls and spread them out for them both. She quietly removed her toys from the satchel and climbed into her bedroll, bundling up in it.

Loki paced with the book open, trying to distract himself. Kuna watched him walk back and forth, back and forth. Her stomach made an angry growling noise. Suddenly, he stopped and turned to her. She closed her eyes and pretended to be asleep. Loki raised a brow, unconvinced.

“Kuna? Oh dear, you’ve gone to sleep,” he said in mock disappointment. “I was just about to ask if you were hungry. I suppose not.”

Her eyes flew open, and she sat up quick. “I am hungry!” she said. “Please!”

“I thought so,” Loki smiled and conjured some food for her. She munched happily while he went back to reading. “I can’t believe I forgot to give you dinner. If I do that again, just tell me. Sometimes I forget to eat,” he said.

Kuna couldn’t imagine herself forgetting to eat. She liked food too much. She took another big bite of dried meat. She would just have to make sure he did not forget to eat.

“Aren’t you going to eat?” she asked, her mouth half full.

“I’m not very hungry right now,” he said, not looking up from his book. “Perhaps later.”

“Don’t forget.”

He smirked at his book. “I won’t.”

Kuna finished her meal and cuddled with her toys. She let out a big yawn, stretching her arms. Loki yawned as well. Kuna crawled over to him. He was intently reading a large brown book. She watched his eyes flit over the page. His finger traced a line down each side of the book as he read, before turning to the next page.

She looked at the big pile of books beside him. She started to reach for a big book with a pretty golden binding, but sharply pulled her hand away, jerking her head to the side as if she were hit. Loki noticed the sharp movement and felt a pang of sorrow for her.

“It’s all right, Kuna,” he said. His voice made her jump. “You can look at that one.”

She turned and looked at him. “Really?”

“Yes.”

She gingerly picked it up, opening its pages to find beautifully painted pictures. She gasped, staring at the bright colors and moving textures. Each picture gently flowed and undulated, giving movement to each scene. Characters bowed and danced on one page. Kuna quickly turned to the next and found the scene had changed to show a forest, the trees blowing in an imaginary wind.

“They’re beautiful, aren’t they?” Loki asked.

She nodded.

“Slaves were never allowed to touch books. Some Masters, like Master Machaluci, put magical spells on his books that blinded slaves that opened them and tried to read them.”

“That’s horrific, Kuna.” He took the corner of the book and pointed at the page. “These were stories that my mother read to me when I was a boy. These books have no magical spells on them. Besides the ones that make the pictures move, that is. You won’t go blind, I promise.”

Kuna looked back at the book. Loki turned the pages for her, showing her another image of a warrior fighting a giant blue monster with red eyes.

Loki huffed. “There are a few good ones in here, although, it’s been a long time since I’ve read any of these fairytales.”

“Will you read some to me?” Kuna asked.

Loki smirked at her. “Sure.”

She settled in close to him. He read her stories of warriors and great battles, kings and queens, monsters and magic, and even of dragons. Those were her favorite. She stared at the beautiful pages as Loki read aloud, changing voices with the characters, and acting out their movements with his hands. Kuna had never heard such lovely and enchanting stories. They sent her mind on adventures through vast imaginary landscapes, fighting trolls and bandits, rescuing villages and saving kingdoms.

Loki wasn’t sure when she had fallen asleep, but he looked down at her, showing her one of the images on the page, and her head gently fell against his arm, her eyes closed, a soft smile on her lips. He smiled, slowly closing the book. Gently, he picked her up and carried her to her bedroll, tucking her in with her toys.

Returning to his books, Loki quickly lost track of time. The books on curses were dense and often difficult to understand. Their archaic, long-winded musings on the morality of curses or the history of their terrible deeds were of no use to him. He needed to know how to lift them. And to know that, he needed to know how to cast them. He tossed one book aside and picked up another, furiously thumbing through its pages, skimming the text for anything that would help him.

He grumbled to himself as he finished another book and tossed it onto the pile. He ran his fingers through his hair. Letting out a frustrated sigh, he looked over at Kuna asleep on the floor. He groaned and put his head in his hands. They had practically ransacked Odin’s library for books on curses; there had to be something that they had stolen that was of use. That fat, old man did not keep these books locked away because they were strict, moral teachings. He knew how to use dark magic and kept it to himself.

He picked up another book and began reading. There were many spellbooks among his new collection, containing spells he had never seen before. Spells that doused the victim in an acid-like substance that burned their skin and spells that caused bad luck. While these spells seemed deliciously wicked to him, they were far from the curses he was searching for. He set these books aside for further study.

Loki continued reading until the morning light began to shine against the opaque walls of the tent. He hardly noticed; his nose buried into a book about a sorcerer who had been banished out of time for use of curses with the use of one of the infinity stones. He was surprised to see mention of the stones, but ancient Asgardians had been rather fascinated by them.

“Loki?” Kuna’s asked.

“Mmm?”

“Have you been up all night?”

“Mmm-yes,” Loki mumbled.

“Aren’t you tired?”

“I’m fine, thank you.” He glanced up. “Oh, if you’re hungry,” -he conjured a pile of their supplies on the floor- “take whatever you like.”

“Anything?”

“Anything.”

“Thank you, Loki,” Kuna said, graciously. She picked up some fruit and bread. “Can I go outside?”

“Yes, sure. Just don’t go far.”

“Okay.” Kuna walked outside, turning back to look at Loki before walking out the door.

Book after book Loki read through and still he could find nothing of real value beyond anecdotal evidence of curses or didactic discourses on curses. He finally decided to take a break and stood, popping his back and walking outside to find Kuna.

The sun was hanging low in the sky now.

“Shit! Is it that late already!” Loki looked around for Kuna but could not see her. “Kuna?”

There was no answer. He called again but all he could hear was the wind through the leaves. He looked around at the trees, searching the branches for her. When he did not see her, he set off into the forest to find her. With a wave of his hand, he cast a spell on the ground to illuminate her footprints.

Tiny footprints glowed green on the ground in a twisting and turning about all around the tent and their little camp. Loki could see the prints exiting the tent were dimming while a trail of prints that led into the woods shown brighter than the ones around him.

“I told you not to go far,” he grumbled as he followed after them. “Now you’ve probably been eaten by some monster. I knew this planet couldn’t be lifeless. What was I thinking?”

He stomped through the brush, following Kuna’s tracks. She had wondered here and there, stopping occasionally to admire a flower or rock. Then the prints went up a tree.

“Great,” Loki huffed, finding himself increasingly annoyed by his new ward. He looked around to see where she may have come down again and picked up the trail on another tree she had leapt to. He followed them as she jumped from tree to tree, but they were becoming harder and hard to see.

He stopped and called for her again to no answer. The forest was still save for the occasional falling leaf. The lack of birdsong or crunch of undergrowth from small animals felt eerie to Loki. He looked around and realized he’d lost Kuna’s trail completely. He studied the trees but could no longer find the green glowing footprints. He was not amused. “Kuna? Where are you?” he called. “Please, don’t be dead.”

He cast the spell again hoping it would reilluminate the lost trail but there was no trace that he could see. He was going to start retracing his own steps to where he lost the trail when he heard Kuna’s voice in the distance.

“Hyah!”

A yelp echoed through the trees. Loki tore off in her direction, conjuring knives in his hands, ready to slay the unseen beast attacking her. He could see a clearing in front of him. He slowed, crouching in the shadows, and peeked through an opening in the brush.

Kuna stood in front of what was left of a long dead tree, a long stick in her hands. Loki searched the clearing for her assailant but found no one, just Kuna and the tree. The upper branches had long broken away, leaving only the hollowed trunk behind barely standing on its rotted stump, the tree stood only a few feet taller than Loki now; a fraction of its once great height.

Kuna squared up with the tree and swung her stick at the trunk, letting out a grunt with the effort. The sound reverberated through the woods. Pieces of bark rained down on Kuna. She swiped at them with her hands.

“The woodland troll threw boulders, but the hero’s shiny armor protected her!” Kuna narrated.

Loki smiled and tried to stifle his laughter from the bushes as he watched.

“Your boulders are no match for my sword!” Kuna swung again at the tree and it wobbled with the blow.

“Hyah!” she stabbed at tree as it wobbled back and it creaked and fell backwards with a crash. She leapt on top and plunged her sword through an old animal’s nest in the trunk.

“You’re defeated, woodland troll! You can’t hurt the village anymore!”

“Oh dear, what have I done?” Loki mused from his hiding place. “I’ve raised a hero.”

Kuna stood triumphantly on the fallen tree with her back to Loki. He took his chance and crept out silently from the bushes. He stalked her without making a noise. A wicked smile grew on his face with each step.

“A hero?” he said, laughing evilly. “A hero who’s wandered too far from home.”

Kuna jumped and fell off of her fallen foe. She turned over and grabbed her stick. She gasped. “The sorcerer!”

Raising her stick to swing at him, Loki made an elegant swipe with his knife, cutting the stick in half. It dangled by a thread in front of Kuna’s face. She gulped and looked up into Loki’s smiling face.

“Ahh!” She flung the broken stick at him and ran off into the woods. “Run away!”

“Hey!” Loki swatted the weapon aside. “You get back here!” He chased after her back into the underbrush. “Heroes don’t run away!”

Branches and vines smacked him in the face and caught in his hair as he ran. He quickly lost sight of tiny Kuna in the bushes and plants. He stopped and listened. Silence had fallen again. She was hiding. His ears listened for any trace of movement. He heard nothing. She was good.

“Yaaaahh!” Kuna jumped out of a branch above Loki’s head. He stepped out of the way and she flopped into a pile of leaves on the ground.

“You were doing well until just then,” he said, leaning over her. “The key to an air assassination is not giving away your position by screaming like a howler monkey.”

She groaned.

He picked her up and flung her over his shoulder. “Now, the poor hero’s been kidnapped by the evil sorcerer.”  He started walking back towards the tent with her draped over his shoulder like a sack of potatoes. “I’m taking you back to my evil lair. Whatever will the hero do now?”

“Stab!” Kuna jabbed Loki in the back with a broken stick.

“Yeee!” Loki yelped and let go of her. She jumped out of his hold and took off again. Loki watched her disappear through the ferns, cackling as she ran. “She really is my kid.”

He walked along, listening for her once more. He had nearly returned to the tent when her felt her presence behind a tree. She was breathing hard and trying not to laugh. He smiled and walked on. He created a clone that continued down the path. He crept around the other side of the tree and grabbed her.

“Raaaar!” he growled.

“Ahh! Cheater!” she cried. She fell backwards. “How did you know where I was?”

“Mouth-breather,” Loki taunted her. He picked her up by the ankle and carried her upside down back to the tent.

She giggled the whole way, swinging back and forth, trying to stab him with her broken twig.

“I think I’ll turn you into a frog,” he said.

“No!” she cried.

“Or maybe a mouse. They’re very quiet.”

“No! I don’t wanna be a mouse!”

“Or how about a homing pigeon. That way you won’t get lost.”

“I wasn’t lost,” she said.

“Well, you sure did wander far. Look how late it is!”

“Sorry,” she said. “Are you still going to turn me into a frog?”

“Nah,” Loki said, setting her down. “Just don’t do that to me. I thought you’d been eaten or something.”

“Stab!” Kuna jabbed him again, this time in the thigh.

“You little bilgesnipe!” he shouted.

“The villain let his guard down long enough for the hero to make her escape!” Kuna narrated. She jumped over a pile of books and rolled over her shoulder, leaping up and snatching her toys from her bedroll. “She rescues her friends from his evil lair and saves the day!”

“Sure, sure,” he grumbled, rubbing the sore spot on his thigh. “Saves the day.”

He sat down between the piles of books and found one of the ones he had been reading. Kuna bounced around the tent with her toys. She grabbed some food from the pile on the floor and stuffed it in her mouth. She stopped abruptly and looked at Loki. He was intently studying another book.

Darkness had settled on the tent again before Loki looked up. He had just realized how quiet Kuna had become. She was asleep on the floor, wrapped up in her blankets. Loki started to get up when his foot bumped an apple on the ground in front of him. He looked down. Kuna had made a small meal for him of fruit, bread, cheese, and dried meat with a cup of water from their supplies. He smiled and sat down again, picking up his meager meal and taking a bite of bread.

When Kuna woke the next morning, she glanced over at Loki’s bedroll, but it was empty. She frowned at it and turned over. Loki was sitting up against the wall of the tent, legs crossed with a book in his lap. His chin drooped to his chest as he snoozed.

Kuna stood, picking up Loki’s blanket and marching over to him. She nudged the book off his lap with her stick and threw the blanket over him. She gently tucked the blanket around his shoulders and legs. Finally, she set her toys on his lap in case he needed them. They helped her sleep.

Picking up his cup and plate from the night before, she walked back over to their pile of supplies and began organizing it. When she was done, she looked around for more inside things to do. The tent smelled of old books and ink and slightly of mildew. She scrunched up her nose. Her Masters would not have liked the smell. Or the mess. Looking around, she could have sworn she did not take this many books at Odin’s study. 

She walked through the stacks of books and found their golden storybook. She traced the ornate knots on the cover. She wondered if Loki would be mad at her if she peeked inside at the pretty pictures. She started to open the cover but then put it down.

Instead, she occupied her time counting the books in the big stacks scattered around the room. She counted one hundred and seventeen. Loki snored softly as Kuna began to tidy up the stacks of books, straightening them and pushing them to one side of the tent. She put them all in level stacks with the spines facing out, neatly aligned with the curve of the wall. 

She stood back and looked at all the books and then got an idea. She pushed a few stacks in around Loki. She used the books like bricks, building up walls until it looked like there was a castle around him with just his head peeking out above and his legs sticking through the gates. Then she sat back and waited and waited and waited.

She heard a long sigh from within the castle walls. “Kuna,” Loki’s calm voice came from behind the walls of books.

Kuna covered her mouth, wheezing with laughter. She climbed up a stack of books and peeked over the walls at Loki. He still sat, wrapped in the blanket.

“What are you doing?” he asked.

“You’re the King of Books,” she said, not able to hide her laughter anymore.

“You’re damn right, I’m a king,” he said. He settled into his blanket, getting comfy. “This castle is rather draughty. I think it needs a roof.”

Kuna gasped and jumped down, grabbing her blanket and throwing it over the top of the book castle. She got down on all fours and crawled towards the entrance.

“Can I come in?” She poked Loki’s feet.

“What’s the password?”

“Um, please?”

“No.”

“Aw,” Kuna sat back. “Pretty please?”

“It doesn’t matter how pretty or ugly the please is: no.”

Kuna frowned. “But I wanna come in too.”

“What’s the password?”

Kuna grumbled. She thought for a long time. “Um, password?”

“All right, come in,” Loki said, pulling his feet inside.

“Yay!” Kuna crawled into the small space, over Loki’s legs settled down by his side. It was dark now that she’d tossed the blanket over their castle. Loki conjured a little orb of light that bobbed up to the top of the blanket and hovered there.

“Do you like your castle?” Kuna asked, giggling a little.

Loki glanced around and then chuckled. “I think we should have taken more books.”

They both laughed. Loki put his arm around Kuna and pulled her up onto his lap. She squealed with joy.

“You’re quite the little trickster, aren’t you?”

“Can I be the Princess of Books?”

“Obviously.”

“You fell asleep reading last night.”

“I did.”

“And you forgot to eat again.”

“I did. Thank you for making me dinner. I’ve been doing a lot of studying and time feels like it’s flying by.”

“What are you studying?” Kuna asked.

“Um, well, these are books about curses.”

Kuna gasped. “That’s angry magic.” She shuttered. “Why would you wanna read about that?”

“I’m just researching curses. You’re right, they are rather nasty. What do you know about them?”

She shook her head. “It’s the worst magic of all.”

“Hmm,” he said. “Do you think all magic is bad?”

Kuna thought about his question a moment. “Maybe not all magic. The magic the Masters use was given to them by the gods, but most of the time, they used it to hurt us.”

“Why is that, do you think?” Loki asked her.

“Because we were bad,” she pouted.

“I don’t think so.”

She looked up at him. “I think they used it to hurt you so you would never question them,” Loki continued. “So that you would never try to run or stand up to them. I think they used it to control you.”

Kuna looked down, staring at her hands.

“I also think they may have used a curse on you, Kuna, to control you even more.”

Kuna’s breath caught in her chest. She breathed hard and clenched her fists. She felt overwhelmed by emotion and shook her head to make it all go away.

“No,” she cried, tears forming in her eyes.

“Now, now,” Loki said, gently consoling her. “It’s all right. I’m going to fix it. That’s why we took all these books. That’s why I’ve been staying up all night studying them. I’m going to figure out a way to lift the curse on you.”

“Why… why did they put a curse on me?” she choked.

“I think they saw you as a threat.”

“But I’m not a threat. I’m tiny.”

“You defeated a troll yesterday and then you stabbed a god. Twice! Not to mention all your other feats of bravery. Don’t underestimate yourself, my little raven.”

“But I don’t… I don’t remember anything. I don’t remember anyone cursing me!”

“That’s the point, darling,” he said. “They wanted to keep it secret even from you so that you could not tell anyone. But I’m much smarter than they are. I’m going fix it, all right?”

Kuna was practically sobbing now, sucking in hard breaths and forcing them out with all her might. It hurt Loki to see her reaction. He pulled her close and hugged her. She cuddled into his chest.

“It’s going to be all right,” he told her and gave her a gentle kiss on the head.

“They’re evil.”

“Yes, they are. And we’ll defeat them together.”