youngmonsterr

[youngmonsterr]

Without him this world is meaningless.

The vices in this world couldn't tear into you hard enough to match the ache that explodes in your chest.

You'd end it all for him.

Ignite the magic that burns through your veins.

Boil your blood with all the power within you.

Scream until your lungs collapse.

Tear apart the Heavens and crack the sky just to bring him back.

Damnation can take you, there is no Salvation anymore.

Not in this life, not without him.

You'd fight the Gods with a primal ferocity they've never known.

Your Angel didn't fall, you stormed the palace and brought him Home.

[youngmonsterr]

I was really active in the Sanders Sides fandom from like 2018 to 2021.

I made mood boards, video analyses, and lots of fanfiction. I really enjoyed my time in a fandom space, and honestly I enjoyed writing back then too. I miss it.

I was thinking about archiving some of the old writing on AO3, but honestly I really do miss being in an active fandom.

Is the FamILY still around? Are Famder / Fander Sides still a thing? Should I make a new blog and try again, or am I just running to the past again?

[youngmonsterr]

It was 3am when you first noticed him.

He was standing there, loose chestnut curls still wet from the shower as he stood and looked at you. You were hunched over, still fumbling through the chords of a song you hadn’t heard in 12 years on a Gibson more put together than you had ever been.

You caught his eyes, half lidded as he toweled off dripping tresses and watched you stare. Nothing about him had changed in the two years you had been living together. But somehow catching his gaze in the low light of the early morning made your heart skip a beat. You grinned as he tilted his head at you.

“What are you fucking smirking at, asshole?” Even he couldn’t keep the grin out of his voice as he pulled one of your smokes from the pack lying open on the dresser. You plucked the lighter from the floor and held it out to him as he climbed into your lap, wrapping an arm around your shoulder, to tug your hair back, forcing you to look at him more clearly.

Your teeth found your bottom lip as you groaned softly, flashing him a smile that was all fang and mischief. “You.” You smiled, wrapping an arm around his waist pulling him closer. “I’m looking at you. I think I’m falling for you all over again.”

–&; || 2.19.18 ; 5:40pm

[youngmonsterr]

its september time to build a new life

[youngmonsterr]

My head is filled with tragedies Of loves lost, of bonds that never break despite the need "Nobody understands me like you do.." Of clinging to something so fiercely the shape is imprinted on shaking palms Of falling to vices, of spiraling to the point of standing on the edge. I'm overlooking the edge I can't see the bottom "Would you catch me if I fall?" Reaching out to the hand that pushed me off. Of this heart that still aches That's bleeding "Love. Oh, Love." Another inhale of burning smoke into my lungs How long will I blame the weather on the fog?

I can't let you go God, I want to. I don't want you to fade. But I can't grow in this place

I wish I could weave words the way I did when you were mine How your every breath inspired a new verse Heh, I guess some things don't change. Don't fall for a writer, they say.

I've got you now. Ensnared and intertwined. It hurts. Do you feel it too?

[youngmonsterr]

stories of knights and women who took up arms, of princesses who marry out of duty. of a land where queens have consorts of any gender.

of girls who fall in love to the bereavement of their parents and finding solace in the stories unspoken in their churchbooks and ancient studies.

girls who talk of escaping to the lands of old queens and falling in love for the joy of love. girls who dive into fairytales following the rabbit holes of other cultures and customs.

girls who perform rituals and ceremonies, questioning the teachings of their studies, finding true joy and spiritual awakening within themselves.

girls who see no escape for themselves. girls who die, girls who return the woods. girls who run away from everything and never come back. girls who grow up and never forget.

[youngmonsterr]

Chapters: 1/1 Fandom: Original Work Rating: Explicit Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings Characters: Caspian, Elliot, Mama (brief mentions) Additional Tags: Fictional Religion & Theology, Religious Imagery & Symbolism, Religious Guilt, Implied/Referenced Suicide, Past Sexual Abuse, Implied/Referenced Sexual Assault, Not Beta Read, no beta we die like men, My First AO3 Post Series: Part 1 of Interlude Summary:

Caspian recalls some painful past memories.

[youngmonsterr]

“Two girls with strict parents, with no real knowledge of the outside world or what to do with the flutterings in our chests. We weren’t taught against it yet, but we still knew shame. Knew admitting to these feelings would lead to-- heh. We didn’t even know what. She kissed me. I felt her on my lips for days.. I kissed her back, she held me close, she kissed my neck.. And I almost fell to my knees. Hidden stories of doomed lovers, trading each other notes in the margins. Sitting too close to one another during worship, but not daring our hands to touch. Not here.”

[youngmonsterr]

“Why do you hesitate?”

“I’m scared.”

“Of?”

“Eternity.”

“Hm.”

[youngmonsterr]

Snippet of my current WIP

The bartender nodded, preparing a drink as I stared down the lanky demon who sauntered my way.

“No cheesy pick-up lines, I swear I’ve heard them all before. What do you want?”

“I wanna know what Heaven tastes like.” He purred, leaning against the counter.

“Loathsome.” I said dryly, catching the eye of the bartender as he placed down the shot glass.

“Whatchya drinkin tonight, Angel?”

“Dunno.” I said, taking the cup and swallowing the contents hard. I grimaced and shuddered at the taste, a shiver running down my spine and fluffing my wings.

I sighed heavily and rolled my eyes over to the demon. His aura was weak, a lesser imp if I had to guess. Probably new to the surface and eager to snag a prize as one of his firsts.

I leaned closer and whispered in his ear slowly.

“I like people who can make me scream. A pathetic little thing like you would be wiped out during the damn foreplay. Now run along, before I snap it off.”

I drew backwards and smiled sweetly shooing him along. I smirked as he balked, stumbling backwards and into the crowd.

I groaned, rolling my eyes skyward before flicking them over to the bartender. “When is anybody decent going to show up, huh?”

“Go.” he whispered sharply.

“What? You sick of me already?”

His eyes shifted to mine and the panic in his expression made my stomach drop. “Now.”

I stood, my mind already racing.

Out the back, behind the gate? No, it was barred. Through the crowd? No, No. The bathrooms. Now.

I spun on my heel but it was too late.

“Caspian.”

My blood ran cold and my stomach lurched violently.

“There you are.”

I froze, I couldn’t tell if the music stopped or if the pounding of my heartbeat drowned out the sound. She took a step forward and I felt my knees buckle at the presence she commanded alone.

[youngmonsterr]

I want your fingers in my mouth

and your hand around my throat

choke me, suffocate me, tell me you love me

[youngmonsterr]

I’m haunting the places where you once stood.

You stare through me every time.

[youngmonsterr]

There are reminders everywhere..

[youngmonsterr]

what a beautiful mess 2 make

[youngmonsterr]

I’ve been making seamless patterns lately and I’m really enjoying myself!

[youngmonsterr]

[youngmonsterr]

Say your piece and let it linger, let the words dry out your mouth.