#and I’m fighting for my life to focus and motivate myself

[cxrrodedcoffin]

Nightvisions - Spencer Reid

Likes are always appreciated but reblogs and feedback keep artists going!

Summary: This is part 2 to Dead of Night, Reader and Spencer face the fallout of an intense first sexual encounter, which leads to a second one.

Word Count: 2.5k

A/N: i’m overjoyed by the positive response to ‘dead of night’ and i’m a woman of the people so despite my lack of plan to do a part 2, i wrote one anyway, and this is it! tbh i’m not too sure how i feel about this but i had fun writing it anyway ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

TW: pervert!spencer, dom!spencer, angst, established relationships, confession of feelings, semi-public sex, noise control, hair pulling, spit, oral sex (reader receiving), unprotected sex (wrap it b4 you tap it), penetration, creampie, panty stealing, references to knifeplay, slight biting, hickey (kinda?) pet names (angel), fem + afab reader, happy ending

Rating: R, 18+

——

As the work day dragged on you could feel your initial shock and intrigue twist into an anger that burned in the pit of your stomach. Every glance Spencer took at you from his desk across the bullpen made your blood pressure spike, unable to properly focus on the paperwork you had been working through for the better half of the day. Your mind kept drifting, trying to rationalize his potential motives, but the more the thought stirred in your mind the less you could justify it to yourself. You had to hear it directly from him, as soon as possible.

“Spencer, can I get your input on something?” You called him over to your desk, masking the frustration in your voice. He scrambled to his feet, eager to be close to you again for the first time since this morning. He leaned over your desk, glancing at the paperwork in front of you.

“How can I help?”

You pointed to an insignificant line of text as you leaned forward, bringing your mouth inches from his ear.

“Meet me in the conference room in 5 minutes.” You whispered, watching as he gulped and nodded.

“That should be good.” He said as a cover, hoping not to draw suspicion to the two of you before returning to his desk.

You grabbed a file for show and walked to the conference room, checking that the blinds were pulled down over the windows overlooking the bullpen. The minutes ticked by agonizingly slow, starting to pace to keep yourself occupied as you waited for him.

Moments later there came a gentle knock at the door before Spencer slowly opened it, dipping quickly in and locking the door behind him. A short silence hung in the air until your emotions got the better of you, his soft expression causing tears to well up in your eyes.

“How? Why?” You blurted out, a mix of confusion, exhaustion, and desperation playing out in your features. He took a step toward you and you took a step back, keeping distance between you. If he touched you, you might break, shatter into a million pieces and never be put back together.

“Please just let me explain.” His tone held such strong desperation that you almost forgot how betrayed you felt. You wiped a tear from your cheek, crossing your arms over your chest as you leaned against the wall, waiting.

“You left your profile up on your computer one night and I couldn’t help myself, I wanted to give you everything you’ve ever wanted, I always have.” He took a deep breath, for once careful to articulate his words as he watched your expression carefully, searching for any sign of forgiveness.

“I know it was wrong, but I never thought I’d stand a chance with a woman like you if I went about it the traditional way. I never intended on hurting you, but I clearly have, and doing so is the biggest regret of my life.” You wanted to believe him, he seemed so earnest, but the doubt was eating you alive by the second. What if it was all an act? Was the connection you felt that night built on lies?

“Was everything you said in our chats a lie just to sleep with me?” You kept a straight face, fighting back more tears to keep your composure. You couldn’t let him know how badly you were hurt, not if he didn’t mean it.

“Oh god no, angel, everything I said was the truth.” He grew more frantic, nervously stretching his fingers as he fought the urge to step toward you again. He just wanted to hold you, to comfort you in the simplest way he knew how, but he couldn’t do anything that might make you more uncomfortable.

“Don’t call me that.” You snapped, still too frustrated with him at the moment to deal with your feelings for him. He nodded, keeping his mouth shut to resist the urge to ramble on and on about what he felt for you.

“I’m not sure I believe you Spencer, I just don’t know if I can trust you anymore.” Your voice cracked, biting the inside of your lip as you watched his face drop.

“You can.” He weighed the risk and took a step closer to you again, and you didn’t move away from him this time.

“How do I know that?”

“I’m in love with you.”

It was the most confident he’d been all day, his voice unwavering with every word.

“Don’t say that if you don’t mean it.” Tears threatened your waterline once more, hanging on his every movement as you tried to read him.

“I do mean it, I’ve known from the first time we spent 2 hours talking nonstop on the jet. No one has ever seen me the way that you do.” His eyes were glassy with tears and your heart began to melt, dropping your arms to your sides and finally closing the gap between you.

“Why didn’t you just tell me?” You took his hand in yours, your thumb swiping over the veins on the back of his hand.

“I didn’t know if you felt the same.” He sighed, averting his gaze from yours.

“I do.” You confirmed, squeezing his hand. He looked at you once more, the tension between you practically suffocating.

He leaned into you, his face dangerously close to yours as he searched your eyes for any lingering apprehension, but there was none to be found. He took a leap of faith, hoping he was reading you right as his lips met yours, his hand cupping the side of your face. You melted into the kiss, allowing him to guide your mouth against his. Your skin grew hot, your hands gripping the front of his shirt as his actions grew more intense, his lips pushing almost bruisingly hard against yours.

His hands moved lower, ghosting down your sides, the slight pressure against your healing cuts from the night before making you shiver. He finally reached the hem of your skirt, slowly hiking the fabric up your thighs. You pulled your mouth away from his, panting for a moment in hopes of catching your breath once more.

“Spencer, we can’t.” You sighed, meeting his hungry gaze.

“We can if we’re careful.” He countered, pushing you gently back until your hips bumped against the large circular table in the center of the room.

“What if someone hears? If we get caught we could lose our jobs.” The rational part of your brain seemed to be dueling with your primal urges, your body betraying your mind as the thought of getting caught only made the wetness between your thighs grow more intense.

“Then you better be quiet.” He whispered, his large hands gripping your hips as he spun you around, bending you over the edge of the conference table. He dropped to his knees, pushing your skirt up the rest of the way to bunch around your hips, humming to himself as he admired your perfect ass. He hooked his fingers into the waistband of your panties, slowly sliding them over the curve of your hips and down your legs before pocketing the lacy fabric.

You whined, wiggling your hips back to urge him on.

“Be patient.” He laughed, his voice low. You didn’t have to wait long, his head dipping between your thighs to find your waiting pussy. His strong grip kept your thighs spread as his tongue delved between your folds, quickly giving ample attention to your swollen clit. He was hungry, plush lips drinking in your arousal with every extended lap of his tongue, practically suffocating himself as his nose brushed against your weeping entrance.

You brought your hand to your mouth, biting your wrist to stifle your whimpers as you rocked back against him, indulging in the way he devoured you. He moaned against you, muffled vibrations sending shockwaves through your body, your clit growing more and more sensitive by the second. You were starting to get desperate, riding his face until the table underneath you began to squeak with every rock of your hips. Spencer suddenly pulled away, sitting back on his calves.

“Your desperation is going to get us caught.” He brought his hand between your legs, fingers massaging your clit for a split second before rearing back and slapping against it, causing you to jolt forward. You yelped, a bit louder than you intended from the shock of it, and you swallowed nervously, anticipating his next move.

He rose to his feet, his clothed hips pushing against your bare ass as he gripped your hair in his fist, firmly pulling you upright. You bit your lip to hide your moan, letting him guide your every step as he pulled you across the room, finally pressing your back against the wall.

“Spencer, please.” You sounded more pathetic than you intended but the way his mouth felt on you got you beyond worked up, and in that moment you felt like you needed him inside you more than you needed air.

“Are you going to be quiet?” He questioned, his hand resting on his belt buckle as he waited for an answer.

“Yes, I’ll be good, I promise.” You looked up at him, giving your best doe-eyed look as you began unbuttoning your blouse. He began to undo his belt, letting his pants and briefs fall to his ankles as he held out his hand in front of you.

“Spit.” He commanded, the dominant side of him coming out more with every sweet sound that left your lips. You did as you were told, spitting in his hand to provide a bit of lubricant for him to stroke his cock, fully preparing himself to enter you.

You were mesmerized, unable to look away from the way his shirt rode up his torso, toned but slender stomach flexing with each movement of his hand, his hair falling messily in his flushed face, a thin layer of sweat forming on his skin. You pulled the cups of your bra down, toying with your nipples as you enjoyed the show, feeling like you were watching the most intimate sex tape you’d ever seen.

“Are you ready?” His voice snapped you out of your trance, blood rushing to your cheeks in embarrassment over how desperate you were for him. You nodded frantically, draping your arms behind his neck, pulling him to you. You raised your leg, wrapping it around his waist, looking down between your chests to watch him lineup his cock with your cunt. He pushed the head in, cutting off the gasp that threatened to rip from your throat as he pulled you into another intense kiss.

He sank fully into your tight walls, the soreness you felt from the night before melting away with every stroke he laid into you. You moaned into his mouth, eyes fluttering shut as you allowed him to take the reins, his controlling grip digging soft bruises into the flesh of your breasts, then your hip, electricity flowing between the two of you. You pulled away from the kiss, coming up for air, so lost in the feeling that you couldn’t make out any coherent sounds, only gentle whimpers and whines.

“You feel so good.” He moaned quietly, quickening his pace, his hand sliding between your bodies to find your clit, the rough pad of his thumb pressing firm swipes up and down over the swollen bundle of nerves. Your whimpers grew louder, and despite your hazy state, you knew you had to quiet yourself quickly. You pulled him closer, burying your face in the side of his neck, your lips latching onto the soft skin behind his ear.

A groan rose from the back of his throat, your mouth sucking against his pressure point pulling him dangerously close to his release. You swore you were seeing stars, supernovas erupting between your thighs as you started to contract around him, your senses overwhelmed with his touch, crying out against his neck. Your knee began to buckle, your leg almost giving out if it wasn’t for his firm hold on your hip. He continued to pump in and out, helping you ride out your orgasm until you had gained a bit more of your composure, able to support yourself again despite how fucked out you felt.

Spencer felt himself falter and anchored his hips against yours, keeping himself seated within your warm walls as they coaxed him to completion. He quietly moaned your name, his head hung to observe the view of himself pulling out of you. You dropped your leg, still in a daze as you began righting your clothing. After you redid the last button of your top and yanked your skirt back down over your ass, you realized you couldn’t find your underwear.

“Looking for something?” He questioned, that familiar dorky smile plastered across his face. You turned to face him, seeing the lace dangling from his fingertip, but as you grabbed for it he pulled it out of reach.

“These are mine now.” He shoved the fabric back in his back pocket before you could attempt to steal them back again.

“Spencer, your cum is dripping down my leg, I kind of need those.” You took a stride toward him to close the gap between you, hoping to wrap your arm around his waist and take them out of his pocket. Your plan was quickly foiled as he grabbed your wrist, pinning it behind your back.

“You better keep your legs closed then, I’m not giving them back.” He whispered in your ear, his tone low but hinted with mischief.

“Whatever, pervert.” You pulled out of his grip, starting to walk toward the door. Your slight annoyance with his teasing quickly faded, unable to deny that walking back out into the bullpen full of Spencer’s cum was an incredibly hot concept.

“What does that make you, then?” He laughed, running his hand through his hair to make it somewhat presentable.

“An angel, according to you.” You turned back to him momentarily to wink in his direction, giving him a comfortable resolution to your slight outburst earlier.

“Can I see you again? Outside of work, I-I mean.” He slightly stumbled over his words, his dominant demeanor fading back into his signature awkward cadence, clearly a bit flustered by your tongue-in-cheek show of affection. You almost laughed, the question feeling a bit absurd given that you’d both just confessed your feelings for one another in more ways than one.

“Take me out to dinner tonight, I’ll be ready by 6. You have my address.” You smiled, watching a blush rise over his cheeks in response to your callback before unlocking the conference room door and returning to your desk to finish out the workday, eagerly awaiting your first real date with Spencer.

——

tag list: @pleasantwitchgarden @lover-of-books-and-tea @theoraekenslover @placidus

DM me or send me an ask if you’d like to be added to my spencer reid taglist :)

also tagging those who requested a part 2, thank you for the inspo!: @silver138 @espressoparis @futuremrsreid @charmedkim @lilcuutiee @cryxbabyxxx @c1rcus-baby

[bruhstation]

hello tumbled er

greetings and salutation. it is I, senja heterocaine, speaking to you through your favorite home screens. now you might be wondering: where on earth has senja heterocaine disappeared to these past 5 months? well the answer is as simple as it gets

I focused on my studies.

well yes that is the main reason. but that's like the nerd "obvious" answer. there’s other reasons too. some of which includes me getting into new interests, revisiting my old, hibernating interests, getting involved in university organizations and events, getting more involved in big family stuff since I'm the oldest and the only of-age grandchild of grandma from mom's side.... lots of stuff

so I just finished the third semester of premed school right. honestly speaking, with how I was losing motivation on drawing, the art block post-art fight, and lack of time, I decided to well, take a break. and it’s pretty convenient too since it was early on in the third semester. during the entirety of it I was feeling pretty proud of myself like "oh I've been studying a lot. I've taken a break from drawing and blog stuff. surely things will get better" and it did! not immensely but it's significant enough that for once I don't feel an indescribable sense of terror after the semester ends. the focus of this semester was about reproduction systems and growth and development which is pretty fun? we get to use models and medical phantoms hands-on and poke them with needles and other rube goldberg contraptions. I did miss breeding bacterias in petri dishes and seeing my friends burn the microbiology lab’s ceiling like last semester though. my grades are also improving… slowly but surely

(aftermath not pictured: me lounging on the couch scrolling through quora to see if there are people currently in college wanting to drop out)

maybe I was aiming too high. at least my grades are better than the previous two semesters and my social life is much better than it was back in high school. speaking of exams -- I went through my first osce exam around a week ago (practical exam to see if you can actually perform the skills labs lessons from the entire semester like you're a real physician). it was the most terrifying day of the month. my dentist said I have a big tongue and that’s why I can’t speak properly if I’m being too fast. ntm I WAS NERVOUS!!! MY FIRST OSCE!!! with how I memorized everything I needed, I was pretty confident that I'd pass, though. I didn't and retook the exam the next day. the prelude was the worst crash out ever

ah ptooey. I'll just take it like a champ. my tutor who's 3 years older than me and currently in the anesthetic rotation of co-ass told me that things will get easier but that's very subjective. he's a medical olympiad student after all. my parents are pretty happy though with how my academic life is becoming better so that's that

LETS MOVE ON TO SOMETHING LIGHTER. section B: what I've been getting into ever since bruhstation was put on cryostasis

you know Transformers One (2024)? the transformers movie directed by josh cooley? based on the Transformers(tm) franchise by Takara Tomy and Hasbro? most tragic break up movie of the decade? I watched it twice, squealed once, and left me broken and inconsolable for weeks on end. it made me revisit my dormant transformers interest after 5 years. I've reread the idw comics (mtmte, LL, taao, main transformers comic), and is currently checking out more (reading the wreckers saga right now). god it made me miss rodimus and friends' zany space opera adventures. I've always envisioned casa tidmouth to have the same tone as mtmte... the oftentimes dark humor, fridge horror stuff, weird magic/science, the roller coaster of emotions, confronting the past... its crazy good.

stories where misfits and knuckleheads band together in a confined space while having crazy doctor who-like adventures am I right. like I want casa tidmouth to be like that. remind me to thank 14 year old me for this trip down memory lane. and as usual, I tend to make self-indulgent crossovers of any interest I'm thinking about at the moment with casa tidmouth

a terrifying sneak peak on what's to come.

I've been working on my oc projects too. you may have seen some of them on artfight (graciela, saudade, altair, etc) but I've been focusing the most on graciela and saudade's universe, children's heterotopia. it has the largest amount of characters in any story I've created (not counting casa tidmouth), the most effort put into planning the stories and weaving in its themes about capitalism, patriarchy, period-typical bigotry, etc. there's human experimentation and they're given powers that range from punching super hard to time and space displacement. I also inserted whatever I wanted into the story. sure, yes, there's a lesbians-only organization of which its members are named off the knights of the round table, theres a mafia that focuses more on the family drama and attempted parricide from all angles, and tragic assassin maids of which their names are wuthering heights references. also if you've been following my main tumblr hajimedics for a while, you might've seen my three fairly oddparents ocs. well I've given them the tezuka star system treatment and inserted them into children's heterotopia as well.

I've also gotten into UTAU production! I've made a number of UTAU covers but haven't uploaded them to youtube. only shared them around with my friends on priv twitter. a good friend of mine assisted in the creation of my own UTAU voicebank! their name is TORKA (like "torque"), their voice bank has a slight accent when singing in japanese (because I'm their voice lol) and CV-only, their in-universe lore is that they're an intergalactic train conductor picking up wayfarers and outcasts trying to find a place in the vast universe, and I love them dearly

moving on! this is a thomas the engine and company blog THIS IS A LIFE UPDATE POST

I'd rather not discuss about how I'm doing mentally in deep detail BUT what I'll say is that I can't confidently say "I'm doing better" or "I'm doing worse" because it always depends on the days. things are okay-ish nowadays. some days are scary. some days are boring. I still experience delusions, (ironically) worried about my anhedonia, and believe that certain bouts of confidence will trigger a jinx, but I think I've been controlling myself well? at least? I keep internalizing the belief that I'm an adult. 20 years old. I have to act accordingly and my life in real life is ten times more important than the internet. things are going to change more and more once I graduate premed and began the co-ass program. I have to think 10 steps into the future. building successful connections before you turn 30. sigma grindset and all that. sorry that was my father using my body as a spirit medium

AND ALSO. ALSO. BACK TO THE BLOG DO YOU GUYS REMEMBER THAT ONE TIME I PROMISED TO MAKE A COMIC BASED ON THE RESULTS OF THE 1000 FOLLOWERS POLL AND NEVER DID UNTIL NOW. I'm terribly sorry. I promise I will get into it I SWEAR procrastination is kicking my ass. I have to plan the dialogue and script and stuff AND DRAW BUT

BUT HERE’S THE FUNNY THING

THE BLOG REACHED 2000+ FOLLOWERS A FEW MONTHS AGO

NOW WHAT DO I DO TO CELEBRATE?

I don’t know honestly. I haven’t done the 1000+ followers celebratory comic, and NOW I HAVE 2000+ FOLLOWERS. THERES 2000+ OF YOU NOW!!!!! THAT’S CRAZY (IN A GOOD WAY)!!!! I thank you all for sticking with bruhstation through thick and thin for around 2 and a half years. I’m glad for all your support, fanarts, asks, and such truly. like wow. 2k. in such a short time too! thanks guys. admittedly, I feel kind of guilty to leave everyone hanging for months with nothing to give, especially with such a high follower number. and realistically? I don’t think I’ll be able to draw as much as I used to. like I’ve said earlier, I’ve been busy with my personal life and oc projects. it’s not like I’m abandoning this blog any time soon? I’m just speaking from a logical perspective, given my status as a student and (possibly, hopefully) future doctor too. I don't want to burn myself out posting like thrice a week, answering asks daily, I want to take things slow. at my own pace. maybe I'll focus on designing side characters as well and thinking about their roles in the story! but that's for another day. I’m just glad everyone’s still sticking around and enjoying my silly stuff

I do want to draw more for this blog! I want to put thomas and co. in more situations. make them dance for all our entertainments. but when you’re an adult, you realize that you have your own priorities. you can’t always do the things you wanna do. you can’t just drop something you don’t like out of the blue. sometimes you have to sigh, scratch the back of your neck, and brave it while saying “I sure am getting old”

oh and also I'm a butch lesbian now. still he/they (heavy preference on he/him), still preferring masculine terms like "mr", "sir", "guy", still as crazy as ever. still aroace too and not interested in dating, something that's been a constant in my identity ever since I'm in early high school. little have changed I can assure you this. I am still senja. senja heterocaine from the net.

and thus concludes senja’s life update post! what will the next post after this be about? something gordon-centric again? serious colored art? old men yaoi? silent hill UK localization? place your bets. everyone loves a good laugh

[storycraftcafe]

Hello there!

Do you have any neurospicy friendly tips for staying motivated? I'd love to write more, especially long-form, multi-chapter works but after a chapter or two I either get bitten by other plot bunnies or real life eats me whole.

Thanks!

Hello friend!

Oh this is right up my alley, grab a cuppa, I get wordy.

As a chronic “too many ideas, too little dopamine” ADHD brain that’s always seeking that lil extra dopamine, I suffer from the exact same problem. My motivation is a fickle thing, as is my ability to focus and my goblin brain is always after the new shiny idea.

But, I’m also at the end of drafting the biggest project I’ve ever completed(it's over 100k words right now), while also planning a novel, developing a few more ideas and writing short stories and doing this blog (intermittently at least for now).

How the hell did I manage that?

I learned to work with my brain, lean into novelty, made things really easy for myself and when needed, got some help and made things fun. 

The truth is, motivation comes and goes, as does inspiration. So we have to figure out how to keep writing without it, and how to wrangle those plot bunnies. That’s the work we do. 

My short answer is this: The solution to focusing on a big project is to make working on this project easier than working on anything else, make it the most enjoyable, and make it the most rewarding.

Here’s some advice on how:

Advice Tidbit the First: Work with your brain

Since us neurospicy types come in so many flavours, it’s impossible to give advice that works for everyone. So find what works for you. You know what helps you focus, you know what your weaknesses are and you know how your brain works. If you don’t, now is the time to find out how to work with your brain chemistry rather than against it. 

If this means having music, using a pomodoro timer, something like a special focus based word processor or a notebook, use it. If this means working with a trusted friend, a community, or alone, do that. 

For me it really means that the big project is always front and centre. It is always open, it is always flagged in my notebook, it is always present and easy to come back to and I always know where I’m going with it.

I’m gonna share some things that work for me and I encourage you to try them, keep what works, and cast off the rest.

Advice Tidbit the Second: Lean into Novelty

My brain relishes novelty, and will happily chase a new idea down a rabbit hole like a Jack Russell on speed and after years of fighting it, I’ve learned sometimes, it’s best to chase the white rabbit and see where it ends up. Just make sure you have a way of putting that idea on a back burner and coming home to the project you want to focus on.

And I do this through a few different means. 

First I write that new idea down, which in turn helps me get it out of my head instead of it repeating ad nauseum like the chewiest earworm. The brain repeats things to remember them, but if you write it down, and then immediately get what you wanna focus on in front of your eyeballs, you might be able to switch gears and get back on track.

Second, I create my own novelty by balancing a few projects at once, that are all at different stages of development, and focus on different ideas. I have the big one that's almost done, I have a novel that’s in planning, a few short story ideas that’s percolating  and this blog which is focused less on creation and more explaining things I’ve learned. And I bounce from these, as needed, to keep things fresh. 

Third, if all else fails, I stop fighting and go wild. I’ve stumbled onto some amazing gems of projects by embracing the mad rush of inspiration until I hit a wall. And the trick for me is, once I hit that wall, I go back to my big project and it always feels a little fresher after that time away.

Writers are creative creatures, and inspiration is a wonderful, amazing, maddening thing that we cannot rely on, but shouldn’t ignore when it strikes. 

Advice Tidbit the Third: Make that shit easy.

A fun, and by fun I mean hellish aspect of my brain chemistry is that the more barriers between me and doing a thing there are, the less likely I am to do the thing. Executive dysfunction is an asshole and should pay but until I can figure out a way to do that, I instead focus on making this as easy for me as possible. 

When it comes to focusing on a specific project, I make sure I have it ready to go when I wanna work on it. I open up the word doc before I go to bed, I leave some notes for myself before leaving it, I never close it unless I absolutely have to, and I always, always have a notebook or my phone on hand to write with, and I have a playlist on hand to get me in the mindset while writing or walking, or working out.

Now if you’re looking at that and going “But Cas, that’s a lot of prep-work”, yeah, it is, and that’s what I do to make things easier to start and stay focused with. Call it the neurospicy-tax. Sometimes shit comes with extra prepwork, but it will help you in the long run.

Thankfully the execution is less painful than it sounds. I just don’t close the word doc for my main project unless I absolutely have to. Opening it first thing is a habit I’ve developed over time as is carrying my notebook around everywhere. Right now I’m trying to build the habit of writing first thing in the morning after breakfast, which means I have the project, or project notes up to read while I eat.

The less I have to think about it, the less steps it takes to start, the easier it is to just do. And do it enough, consistently enough, it becomes habitual. Ish.

Advice Tidbit the Fourth and Most Important: Make the writing easier too.

Yeap. I’m gonna say it. Learn to plan in a way that works for you.

It is so much easier to write freely, consistently and confidently when I have a damn good idea of where I’m going and what targets I’m trying to hit. If you’ve read my waffling about approaching chapters, I go on at length about how that pre-planning makes the work easier. This doesn’t mean you need to have the whole thing planned down to the finest detail, you don’t need every chapter and scene on cards ready to go, unless that’s what works best for you.

However, I have found that I can stick with big projects the best if I have a rough plan consisting of story beats, knowing my character arcs, and solid idea of the ending. With that roadmap, it doesn't matter how lost or distracted I get or how long I spend in the warren of Ploticus Bunnicus, because I have that guide at hand to bring me back to my story. But when I don’t have it… I get lost. And I stay lost. I lose motivation, it’s harder to pick it up again, I lose hope and I abandon that story and feel awful about it.

So if there’s any advice I want you to try it’s this: Figure out where your story is going, where you want it to end up, a few ideas on how you’ll get there, and make a map to keep you heading in the right direction.

It can be as easy as dot points giving you a few ideas about what’s ahead, a few notes from the last writing session to remind you of where you were going, or a paragraph blocking out events in a really condensed summary. Whatever works for you, but have a plan for where you’re going for those moments when something shiny crosses your path. Make working on this main project easier than working on anything else, make it the most enjoyable, make it the most rewarding. Let me know if you want me to talk about my roadmapping/planning process.

Advice Tidbit the Fifth: Get some help.

I would not be as far along in my big project as I am if I didn’t have two really amazing people that helped me along my way as alpha readers. Ie: the two people who got frantic messages at 3am asking if they could look at the raw draft I had just churned out to see if it was okay, and who also, graciously, acted as rubber duckies and brainstorming partners and problem solvers as I figured my own process out.

I owe these two so much.

Writing can be a terribly solitary craft but it doesn’t have to be. So get a buddy, someone that can hold you to task, who can give their opinion, act as a sounding board, who is as excited about the project as you are. I am so glad to be that person for my bestest buddies and they are that person for me.

So find that person, someone you can trust, a friend, another writer, or just someone that has your back. And if you don’t have that person, there are communities aplenty floating around. And I am always, always, ready to cheerlead a fellow writer. Hell, I created a whole damn server just to help other writers that I haven’t been brave enough to advertise yet.  You can find it here. [If the link isn't active, feel free to ask me for one!]

Advice Tidbit the Sixth: Make that shit fun.

Writing is work, there’s no way to get around that and writing a big multi-chapter project is a LOT of work even if you don’t plan, edit, revise, or rewrite (though you should). All my advice so far has been focused on making that work easier, on working with your brain, embracing novelty for your own ends, making the work easier, and working with a friend.

Now we get to have fun.

What makes writing enjoyable for you? Is it having a tasty treat while working or after as a reward? Is it good music? An excuse to go to a cafe? To use a pretty pen? Whatever it is, DO IT. 

I like to have a nice cup of tea in a nice mug while I write. I always have music or something ignorable for background noise on the tv. And I use my very pretty pens in my very nice notebooks.

If you’re anything like me, you possess strong opinions regarding notebooks and pens, and likely have a neglected collection of some pretty stuff. So I’m gonna say something shocking: You should use those nice pens and notebooks.

 No seriously. 

Use them. Use the pretty inks and lovely pens and use them to make writing fun. Switch colours at the drop of a hat or to show scene and pov transitions, practise your handwriting. Use different notebooks for different projects or one big bullet journal style thing for all your writing. 

Create yourself an everyday writers kit and take it everywhere with you. Use it. If you’re doom scrolling, switch your phone for your writing kit and start jotting down some ideas or write a single sentence for your story. Use these pretty shiny things. I dare you.

Keep in mind, you DO NOT need expensive pens or papers ever at all. You can do this with a cheap notebook and a ballpoint. I’m just a stationery nerd and I like using the nice things I’ve bought instead of them sitting there doing nothing.

Here’s my kit, a black traveller’s notebook with three inserts and a kraft folder, two pen loops stuck onto the folder and two TWSBI eco fountain pens. Each insert is for a different kind of project (drafting the long project, brainstorming and planning or short stories, and planning and drafting articles for this blog.) and I have sticky tabs in the folder to make pages and specific projects. Sometimes I add a pouch of yet more fountain pens because I don’t have a problem, I have a collection.

Flex aside, my point is use tools that you enjoy using. If that means a nice clacky keyboard, use it, if that means fancy ass pens, use them, if that means something you’re not scared of breaking, use it. 

Now for gamification: A common bit of advice I hear for ADHD brains specifically is to gamify the tricky things and thank the gods, there’s a bunch of people who have figured out ways to do this.

For writers specifically we have a few tasty choices.

A quick search for ‘gamifying writing’ will turn up a bunch of results but here’s a few favourites of mine.

4thewords is web browser based RPG game where you write to battle monsters and make your way through the story. It is a subscription however but it’s fairly affordable ($4 USD a month) if you end up using it everyday. It comes with progress trackers, avatars you can get cool things for, a big community and it has a 15 day trial that does not need a credit card for. Wahoo. I’ve used it, it's a lot of  fun, but it doesn’t gel with my other needs quite as well but I do turn to it none and then when I really wanna buckle down and focus. Give it a go~

Write Or Die is a classic sprint writing tool that I’ve been a fan of for years. Basically you write or you are ‘punished’ via flashing screen, loud noises or if you’re brave, there’s the mode that eats your words if you stop typing for too long. It is a one man developer that said and a bit old and neglected but Write or Die 2 is worth it if this helps you stay focused.

Too high stress? Think about trying…

Written Kitten is a web browser based writing motivator that gives you a cute kitten picture every time you write a certain number of words. It’s adorable.

Or you can grab that writing buddy of yours, or just yourself, a timer and do a writing sprint. Pick a number of words, set your timer and write until the timer goes off. See how well you did, see how any words you can get and how far above the set number you can go.

In the end all this leads to the same key point, which is to make working on your long multi-chaptered project as easy, fun and rewarding as you possibly can. If you have a mind that chases fun, make the work fun, if it chases novelty, make the work novel, if it lacks focus, figure out how it likes to focus and apply that to your project. 

You can wrangle your brain, but you have to work to its strengths. But before I wrap this up

Advice Tidbit the Seventh: Go easy on yourself.

Neurospicy brains are particular and challenging and common advice doesn’t always work for us and that’s okay. It can be tricky figuring out what works and what doesn’t, and spoons aren’t always plentiful, our moods aren’t always cooperative and sometimes the work really is hard no matter what we do. And that’s okay. What matters, I think, is that we keep trying. A few words a day are still a few words a day.  It adds up.

You got this and I am always happy to have a chat or listen.

Good writing!

[successblueprints]

How I Deal with Tough Days When My Brain Won't Let Me Work

We all have those days where productivity feels impossible. It’s like no matter what we do, we just can’t seem to get started. I’ve come to realize that, for me, these days aren’t just about laziness or lack of motivation—it’s more complex. When I procrastinate, it’s often my creative brain, or what I like to call my “inner child,” throwing a tantrum.

Step 1: Understanding the Procrastination

The first thing I do is pause and try to understand what I’m running away from. Is it the overwhelming amount of work? In that case, I break it down into smaller, manageable bits. When the material feels boring, I add some fun—by creating colorful and funny interpretations of definitions or concepts. I turn words into weird characters, almost like a cartoon in my mind. Sometimes, I’ll turn it into a game, like seeing how many questions I can get right, or even trying new study techniques like rewriting a sentence or reading it out loud.

I find that when I’m bored, it’s a perfect opportunity to experiment. I might try drawing funny sketches of the material or use quirky interpretations to make it more interesting. The key is that I have to figure out what’s causing the procrastination—is it fear, perfectionism, or just the sheer volume of work?

Step 2: Naming My Inner Child

Once I understand what’s happening, I like to give my inner child a friendly name. This helps me communicate with it when things get tough. Every time I mess something up and feel like quitting, I know that it’s just my inner child reacting to the idea of perfectionism. Naming it makes it less scary, and I feel more in control of the situation.

A perfect example would be the time I noticed that my inner child shows up in my skincare routine, but not because I’m lazy—it's because I feel unmotivated when I don’t have enough of those colorful, trendy products, like the ones all over TikTok. You know, the Drunk Elephant skincare, with its fun packaging that every influencer seems to have. It taps into the same idea as “Sephora kids,” where even as adults, we’re drawn to overconsumption of things we don’t actually need, just because they’re colorful or trendy or aesthetically pleasing.

But I’ve realized that I don’t need fancy, colorful products to wash my face before bed. My inner child might crave those items, but recognizing that helps me let go of the unnecessary pressure to follow trends. I focus on the routine itself, rather than what’s missing from my shelf.

Step 3: Clearing the Distractions

Next, I clear my desk. Anything that’s not a school supply or a tool I need for work can be a distraction, especially if it’s colorful or unrelated to my task. I set a 5-minute timer and start working, just to show my inner child that it’s really not that scary. Once the timer’s up, I double it, taking short breathers in between. I repeat this until I feel like I’ve done enough for the day.

Step 4: Knowing When Enough Is Enough

After a certain point, I trust my own judgment. I ask myself honestly, “Is this enough for today?” If I feel like I’ve given it my best shot, I let go of the need to do more. I accept that some days will be harder than others, and that’s okay. The important thing is that I’m not fighting my inner child, but working with it.

It’s a simple process, but it’s effective. Instead of battling myself, I’ve learned to communicate with that part of me that gets overwhelmed, bored, or perfectionistic. By understanding and breaking things down, I can get through even the toughest days without feeling like I need to drop everything.

P.S.: I’ve struggled to stay productive most of my life, and a part of that was because I didn’t grow up in one of those aesthetically pleasing, western-style homes you always see on social media. I live in the Balkans, and my bedroom looked nothing like that. It wasn’t perfectly curated or full of trendy decor, but over time, I grew to love my culture and my surroundings. Even though I wasn’t the richest or living the most "aesthetic" lifestyle, I’ve learned that what I have is enough, and it doesn’t define my ability to be productive or happy.

[veerbles]

thoughts about dream thieves (and some predictions!)

After probably almost a decade of thinking to myself, I’m an adult who’d like to read more and also enjoys YA, I should finally pick up TRC, I finally picked up TRC. I finished Raven Boys and immediately started Dream Thieves, so I didn’t pause to gather my thoughts on the first one, but here I am now. Ready to unleash several K’s of words by using my limited information to analyze characters and make some predictions that may or may not come true.

• I really enjoy the whole magical-realism, bordering-on-alternate-dimensions theme, but I’m SO SORRY Cabeswater gives me the creeps. I can read context clues and infer from the fact that Blue and Gansey both love it that it’s not meant to be sinister? Probably? But like, talking forests and time loops and magical possessions have, in the history of literature, revealed ulterior motives. I’m mostly side-eyeing the way Adam’s sacrifice to Cabeswater immediately derailed his life and mental stability. It might just be an Adam thing. It’s probably an Adam thing. But like, if I were these kids I’d be a biiiit more wary of the scary time-defying magical land I stumbled upon.

• The sudden emphasis on how time is circular kind of came out of nowhere. There was definitely a point made in the first book about how time doesn’t flow the same way inside Cabeswater, but mid-second book the nonlinearity of time was suddenly a huge thing and all the Sargent seers made a point of how every prophecy is something that both happened already and hasn’t happened yet. I’m totally down with some time-fuckery, but I would’ve liked some more build-up. Also, is this meant to play into Blue’s prophecy? Adam’s visions? Gansey’s fate? Glendower’s fate?

• I was preparing myself for a long, drawn-out love triangle B-plot, and I’m glad it didn’t happen. I couldn’t tell if I missed some subtext and Blue’s intense attraction to Adam faded before their fight at his room, or if it was a direct result of it, but I like that their thing (he called her his girlfriend and I was kind of like… is she? Who established that?) was short and not too well-developed. I think it mostly served as a lesson that Blue can influence her fate, but she can’t run from it (“Why couldn’t it be Adam?”). 

• Also, I think the marketing of the first book did it a HUGE disservice. I have nothing against romance as a main plot and maybe I would have enjoyed that as well, but adventure and the found family trope have a much stronger pull. Was really glad the romantic relationships aren’t really the main focus (at least yet?).

• On the same note, these books are so far really good with show not tell. The numerous unspoken hints about the Blue/Gansey attraction did such a good job making me root for them. The slow progression from Gansey caring an inordinate amount about how Blue views him, to Blue dedicating large chunks of her time analyzing him and trying to figure out all of his layers, to Gansey definitely growing aware of his feelings but not doing anything explicit because of Adam… The boat scene with Orla was pure comedy, lmao. Tell me you’re 16/17 years old without telling me you’re 16/17 years old.

• The Blue/Adam “break up” scene was so good because it evoked true emotions in me. I think a reasonable percentage of teenage girls were once The One Girl in a group of guys, and Blue’s feelings of being treated differently because she’s a girl really hit right where it hurt. I think Adam’s inability to understand that she wants to be his friend first and a love interest later was so real. I also do think that this scene brought up multiple points and maybe Blue’s character would have benefitted from addressing each of them separately, even just in her own head. She feels left out because she’s a girl, and she feels he only views her as a Girl and not as a friend; she’s wary of his anger issues and feels she doesn’t know him; she has feelings for Gansey; she has an ominous prophecy hanging over her head. Ultimately, her saying he’s not “the one” is what hurt him most, because she hit him directly in the insecurities, but it wasn’t really the most interesting or impactful point. Who is Blue Sargent and what does she really want in a relationship (or in general?)

• I have a hot take, but don’t kill me for this. …Adam gives off real Peter Pettigrew vibes. I’M SO SORRY. I really hope he gets more character development later on, because right now he’s straight on the path to evil villain. Or, okay, maybe he veered off that path after his talk with Persephone and their quest to fix the ley line, but for a minute there I was like… My guy, I get where you’re coming from, but you’re slowly gnawing on the leg that you used to stand on. It’s okay to be mad at the world because you were handed a worse hand of cards, and it’s okay to want to climb your way up to prove your own worth. But a minute ago your whole point was that you HAD worth, and now you’re acting out because you feel worthless? Adam’s getting eaten away by his insecurities and thinking/saying/doing really uncool things to his friends, and it’s just Not It. At this point of time, I personally would not have made him Secret-Keeper of the house I’m hiding in.

• Direct follow up: Honestly? Gansey should punch someone. As a treat. Gansey certainly has flaws, but he’s also certainly the most self-aware of the whole bunch. He is continuously harder on himself than anyone else is hard on him, and trying to make things right, and he’s kind of getting stepped on by his best friends. Adam stole his most prized possession and sneaked away to do exactly what Gansey didn’t want to do on GANSEY’S search quest, and then took the offer of networking but spit it back in Gansey’s face, and admitted he’s going to fight Gansey for Glendower’s favor because he thinks he deserves it more. Ronan ALSO stole his most prized possession after letting Gansey clean up his messes, and didn’t even really apologize? Like, it’s somehow okay because after he stole it he wrecked it and then dreamed it back? Nah dude. It wasn’t okay you took it to begin with! Now, I definitely think it’s not a black-and-white situation; Adam brings up plenty of good points in his arguments, and Ronan, to the best of my recollection, never asked to be cleaned up after. They’re both super traumatized and Gansey chose to stick by their sides through that. But everybody else gets to lash out and make stupid decisions and I, personally, think Richard C. Gansey III should pull a teenage boy move and punch one of his best friends. Which one is up to him. The punch can be metaphorical.

• This book focused mainly on Ronan and Adam’s journeys, and I have to say I loved the night terrors as a symbol of self-loathing. But I remain unsure about Ronan himself. Unlike Adam I don’t think he’s doing villain-y things, but he’s definitely doing very normal teenaged self-destructive things. And that’s fine. It's expected. But it’s also not really productive to self-acceptance? Which he somehow reached at least partially by the end of this book anyway? My point being, Ronan kind of lost it when Gansey was gone and went on a weird dreamer-bender and took all kinds of suspicious drugs and made all kinds of bad decisions, and I expected that to have ramifications. He didn’t really face any of his self-hatred or made efforts to be a better friend. He did kind of face (literally) his grief over his father, which is obviously huge, but I would have liked him to take down some of those walls, be vulnerable, apologize? Face some of his obvious inner homophobia? Anything before that wholesome ending. I guess I just stay hopeful that it’d happen in the next two books.

• On that note, the whole goddamn Lynch family needs therapy. What the fuck. Hated Declan significantly less than the last book, but all three of them should get some professional help for their asses. Their mother is a dream? Ronan’s new friend’s mother is dating his father’s murderer?? Ronan’s dad kicked him out of his home on the heels of his tragic death to teach him some lesson about… dreaming??? So much shit happened in this book. However: loved the idea of Ronan having an actual parent and functioning sibling relationship now. Hopefully, that would do some good for everybody involved.

• Very happy at the subtle queer themes and foreshadowing that led up to Ronan’s very understated sexuality revelation. I could smell it coming from a mile away without it being spelled out for me, which is good: it means it was written into his character really well. I was both thrilled and kind of confused by some of the Adam/Ronan hints in this book, though. Ronan… slept on the floor by Adam’s bed…? ("Surely he would wake up soon and find himself [...] lying on the floor beside Adam’s bed at St. Agnes.") This was literally mentioned in one line and then never again. And he doesn’t spend too much time thinking of Adam, but somehow the epilogue still explicitly states that his secret is Adam and not his sexuality as a whole. I’m rooting for them, but I’ll need more convincing in later books that this apparent crush didn’t spring out of nowhere. 

• On the subject of themes I didn’t see coming, the redemption arc for The Gray Man with the gray morality surprised me. It’s not that I’ve never read or enjoyed books where this subject was explored, I just didn’t expect it to happen in this book series. It seems to me like so far every character we’re supposed to root for is very clearly that, and evil characters give off hints in advance. Gray Man definitely did some dubious things in this book, even if you disregard the killing itself, so I expected his ending to line up with that. I guess it still might? Truthfully I find the subject of responses to trauma and how it affects your moral compass very interesting, and I’m definitely into characters’ redemption arcs, but I just don’t know if romantic entanglement with a known dissociative killer is a smart thing for a mother of a sixteen-year-old. If the Gray Man drove away at the end and started a new, less-violent life, I’d be far less conflicted. But he very clearly stated his attachment to Henrietta, which just… leaves me mostly confused. 

• Speaking of, I love how a major theme of this odd little magical book is how different people handle childhood trauma (Adam, Ronan, Gray Man). No further notes, just love it.

• I also really like that adults are directly involved in this story, instead of being intentionally kept out of the loop like in most YA stories. In the majority of the YA books I’ve read I really felt like 70% of the problems could be solved by a whole ass grown up swooping in instead of letting a bunch of kids handle real life-endangering shit all by themselves. The 300 Fox Way women are certainly a specific breed of adults, but they are adults, and they do intervene when needed and are kept mostly informed. It’s a nice change of pace. 

• Going to quickly mention my only real point of criticism and then move on. The dialogue in this book isn’t very realistic, and the clear preference for dramatic chapter endings is a little excessive. I can forgive the dialogue issue, because it does help create the atmosphere that this isn’t a real place in the real world but a magical and intriguing town in some mystery land, but I don’t know if this is what the author actually intended. In every other way, the kids are all pretty well fleshed-out and realistic depictions of teenagers. But every time they open their mouths I think: this is not how a natural conversation sounds. And the dramatic chapter cliffhangers isn’t terrible, because it does keep my interest, but I think it’s fine to have a few chapters not ending with a dramatic one-liner, lol.

Predictions! 

Gansey is a reincarnation of Glendower’s. This is not a certain one, but if it’s not true I feel like it’s a missed opportunity. Gansey is constantly described as “both very old and very young”. He died, but mysteriously didn’t die. He has this connection to Glendower and for some reason connects his sense of self to him. It would tie in to the theme of nonlinear time. I think it could be a good ending for this journey, a la “the thing you were looking for was in yourself all along”.

Gansey answering with “That’s all there is” will have more meaning later on. It could be that dialogue thing again, but I found it to be a weird response in the context of that scene. Since I am of the firm belief that this is all heading to a Blue/Gansey kiss, Gansey dying and then undying, and Blue somehow walking him back down that corpse road, I feel like that quote could maybe tie in to that future scene.

Is Adam’s vision really “gone”? In the scene where Adam makes peace with his powers and returns to Cabeswater he remembers the vision from the dreaming tree and thinks: "That wasn’t going to happen now. He’d changed his future. He’d chosen a different way." And I simply can't help but think that that's just... too easy. Why mention the vision so many times if it's not going to happen now? On the one hand, it would be far more interesting if it did happen, but it had a whole different connotation to it than Adam can currently imagine (he specifically says Gansey is dying, not dead.) On the other hand, it does seem like that vision fits in the reality where Gansey dies back in the first book on Neeve's pentagon, if Adam hadn't rushed in and made the sacrifice. I just feel like it's going to make a comeback.

Noah should not be a ghost. There was not once a good explanation for why this happened. Because he died on the ley line? Presumably, if the ley line runs through the US, many people die on the ley line. Gansey’s backstory is that he came back to life from those hornet stings because someone else who should not have died has died. But Noah is like. Not exactly dead? I’m assuming this will need to be addressed later on and serve as some sort of plot resolution.

Persephone has a connection to Cabeswater. She essentially told Adam that she was in his place once (“They won’t understand,” Persephone said. “They didn’t when I came back.”). That lady has something weird going on with her and this tell me it will have some sort of connection to Cabeswater. She kind of gives off the vibes of someone who will get forever lost in a magical forest. Also I feel like maybe one of the psychics won’t make it out alive, and I dread it’d be her or Maura.

Artemus is definitely a Cabeswater creature. I think this was almost explicitly stated? He appeared suddenly and disappeared suddenly? Almost like the surges and outages the ley line causes? Also, I don't remember the specifics from the first book but I think Maura needed Neeve's help to find him because he was in that "place where they can't see", or something like that - presumably Cabeswater. Also, his story does not give human.

[evangelineshifts]

Failed Shifting Attempt

Dude, I tried shifting literally all day. I took out time off so I had the whole day off and instead of doing it my way(doing random stuff till it feels like it’s working) I tried subliminals.

Worse mistake of my life.

I cracked, I got self conscious and worried that the reason I wasn’t shifting was because ‘I wasn’t doing it right’ since I didn’t have a method.

So I tried Reya’s subliminal(I only got to 27 minutes) and I wasn’t feeling anything that made me assume I was getting closer to my dr so I just stopped, I tried a different subliminal that was just sounds and I felt like i was getting a little close(I was trying to turn over in my dr and I could feel myself(?) getting pulled over but my physical body was ‘keeping me here’ like a coffin or smth so it felt like I was just getting ripped apart inside my body head first. I tried briefly doing my own thing but I stopped after like 2 minutes cause I was impatient.

So overall this entire day has been a fail attempt(never thought I’d say that) and now I’m kind of disappointed? After all my shifting attempts so far I’ve been relaxed, any ‘failed attempts have brushed off me like water. But today was so bad, it’s almost devastating. I feel burnt out or something, I feel like I’m out of energy. I’m never trying another shifting attempt like this again-🦭

I’m gonna try to get all the points in here but they’re not gonna necessarily be in order.

Okay abt you giving up bc you didn’t feel anything, I totally get that honestly I used to do that too but shifting can vary from attempt to attempt if I’m being honest. It can feel like a whirlwind and it can also feel like nothing at all so I’d just advise that when you feel nothing during an attempt try to ignore it cause you’re unintentionally focusing on your body/the process instead of being in your dr. Like a couple times I shifted I didn’t even realize I did until I was back in my cr, other times it felt like I was being sucked into a vortex and it would be unrealistic to try and ignore the feeling. I shifted all the same. Just this morning I shifted and I didn’t even realize. (I’ll make a separate post if anyone wants).

Subliminals work on the assumption that you think they’ll work. That’s why some subliminals work for some people and don’t for others. If they were some end all be all thing than one of those *WARNING SUPER POWERFUL SUBLIMINAL YOU WILL SHIFT IMMEDIATELY* subs would work for everyone but alas 🤷🏽‍♀️ they do not. Don’t beat yourself up too much over it. I honestly don’t even choose subliminals on how much they “work” for me anymore I just choose them on if the background will allow me to focus and relax and if the affs in the background help me out, great. They’re a tool not the machine, treat it as such.

There’s no right and wrong in shifting and honestly failure isn’t real as I’ve learned. No matter what came of your shift you gained SOMETHING from it. Whether it be more knowledge on how to go abt it next time or movement that you’ve just yet to see. Every attempt gets you closer and that’s a success in an of itself. Persist through it if it helps.

You did shift! Good job!

Morph that disappointment into something that happened during your shift maybe?

Chiron told you, you can’t go swim with your friends until your set chores were done. Gods that must be frustrating, you must really want to hangout with your friends. I get that.

You had an argument with someone and they just wouldn’t see your point and got angry with you? Shit what was it abt? Honestly I’d cry, I’m so sensitive when it comes to fights.

Don’t brush it off just maybe turn your focus towards something more progressive while still feeling those feelings. Tell yourself that you’ll deal with the upsetting issue the next time you go to your dr. Motivation and Affirmation that you’ve already shifted all in one. Yippee 🥳

But all in all, I hope you feel better Mimi ☹️ and I swear on my life I will remember to get to your asks in my inbox. I’ve been consistently sick for the longest time 😭😭 I’ve been around little kids and those bitches will cough straight into your mouth without remorse.

- 🍓

[astrid-gallivan]

I'm sorry

Well, things seemed they were going great but now, everything changed again.

I’m going to be honest with everyone. Things were going really well at the end of last year and I was very hopeful for this coming year. But instead of things coming together, I feel like the opposite is happening and my life is just falling apart. Everything I had planned is not happening. Everything I wanted to do got blocked once more by this thing called life and everything that is out of my control. I feel tired. I feel burnt out. I’m tired of fighting. As a Millennial, I’m really fucking tired of fighting to just be happy. Every single time we dream and actually try to go for them, we get fucking Republicans in office who take those dreams away from us and then blame us for it. 

I was getting set up in a position so I could quit my job and fully focus on my career dreams of being an artist and a storyteller. I was going to make an Ed Edd n Eddy comic of them as adults. The dream seems like it’s not happening now. And you can blame the Trump administration for it. 

Because now I HAVE to keep my full time job that I loathe so I can ensure I have a paycheck. I HAVE to ensure that I can support my family while this economy starts crashing and entering the Great Depression 2. That alone has killed a lot within me. And then I’ve meet too many people who support this fascist regime and think he’s amazing. I’ve tried to follow this dream many times in my life, and this kind of shit ALWAYS happens. I’ve had no real motivation to do art this past month. Nothing. I haven’t even thought of the comic or anything related to it. I haven’t watched EEnE. I’ve been more focused on internal things and wondering what my next move is thanks to this fascist regime we’ve put into office. Because no vote was a complicit vote. I keep thinking “I need to fight for my country”. If I want to draw, it’s only images of Popeye crying because his country betrayed him. Or comfort characters because I'm so damn depressed.

On top of that, I have no idea what is happening with Nostalgia Con in April. My friends and family have tickets to come. I was waiting because I was going to volunteer with the agency that works with the VAs of EEnE. And I haven’t heard anything from them still. Ive reached out at various times through different methods and have gotten no response. PLUS Nostalgia Con seems like it’s no longer selling tickets to the event. Their web site says “tickets back on sale soon!” It’s been over two weeks now. So I might not even be able to go and enjoy the convention with my family next month. I won’t be able to talk to the VAs again and try to get insight from them and make connections so I can step into the industry like they are. Or anyone at the convention for that matter. 

And then there’s all my personal at home stuff going on that’s adding another 10 things to my plate. Everything is just fucking falling apart. And I’m just a depressed mess. And it’s all because of fucking Trump. What the hell am I supposed to do when these fucks keep putting me into a cage and telling me to eat shit and be happy about it? I’m fucking tired guys. Life seems to be giving me the final kick to just shut me down forever. Because I’m sick of fighting to just be fucking happy and do the things I want to do. I’m sick of getting told that I’m selfish for wanting to just do something I enjoy doing. And I’m sick of people acting like it’s my fault.

So, I guess my hiatus is going to be longer. I’m sorry everyone. I really am. I promised a comic and it seems it died before it even began. I’ll try to get the motivation back. It’s killing me inside to just not do it at all. But you probably won’t see me for a bit. I really am sorry. I talked a big talk and didn’t deliver. I hope that I can deliver in the future, but it’s not happening on the schedule that I originally envisioned. I need to just do things for myself right now without the pressures of 20 other things. If you do see art, it might be political. Because I almost can’t focus on anything anymore other than “I have to fight for my country, however I can.” I don’t know anymore what’s happening for me. 

I’m sorry everyone.

[marksmusingsuk]

One Week In: A New Perspective

It's been a week since I truly committed to writing, and already, I can feel something shifting inside me. Putting my thoughts into words has forced me to slow down and reflect in a way I never have before. It's as if I'm seeing life through a different lens—one that sharpens the details I used to blur out in the chaos of everyday life.

Writing has made me realise how much I used to take people at face value. I never really stopped to consider their struggles, their quiet victories, or the battles they fight behind closed doors. Now, I find myself looking deeper, listening more, and understanding that everyone has a story to tell. It’s easy to judge or make assumptions, but when you start to see people as complex, layered beings, compassion becomes second nature, although this will not take my focus away from putting myself first. 

I’ve also started to notice changes within myself. The emotions I used to bottle up now have an outlet. Instead of letting frustration or sadness weigh me down, I pour it onto the page, and in doing so, I feel lighter, freer. Writing has given me a way to process my feelings rather than bury them. It’s a release, but also a tool—a way to understand myself better, to make sense of my experiences and turn them into something meaningful.

My motivation is building, slowly but surely. The more I write, the more I want to do something meaningful—not just for myself, but for my two children, my close friends, and the people who matter most. I don’t want life to just happen to us; I want to take control, to shape a better future, to create something that leaves a lasting impact. Whether that means supporting my friends in their own journeys, showing my children the power of resilience, or pushing myself towards new opportunities, I know I need to act.

I’m also becoming more aware of the little things—the moments of joy, the signs of progress, the way small acts of kindness can have such a huge effect. Before, I might have overlooked these things, too focused on what was going wrong or what I didn’t yet have. But now, I’m seeing that every positive step, no matter how small, matters.

I don’t have all the answers yet, but for the first time in a long time, I feel like I’m on the right path. Writing has opened my eyes, and now, I just need to keep moving forward. This is only the beginning, and I can’t wait to see where it takes me.

[mellybouboulove]

My guardian angel🤍𓆩♡𓆪☁️

Chapter 7

Plot summary: Drug Dealer Ellie Williams X OFC slowburn fic, out of universe and takes place in college, set in the 2000s. Smut content to come.

previous: Chapter 6 , next : Chapter 8

Tags: #wlw #sapphic #drugdealer!ellie #modern!ellie #tlou #slowburn #smut #fluff #tlouau #au #modernau #drugs

CHAPTER 7

The morning after, I woke up just a couple minutes before Ellie and felt like the luckiest individual alive. I enjoyed these precious minutes the universe gave me to contemplate her peaceful sleepy face laying just next to mine. She looked so cute and innocent, her breathing was calm and relaxed, her hair was messy and falling on her face. The sun rays that were enlightening the room through the thin curtains of my window were reflecting on her face but didn’t seem to bother her in her deep sleep which helped me fight the urge to wake her up and cover her face with kisses. 

My room was a mess, our clothes were spread everywhere, I could see my bra on the edge of the bed next to one of her socks while my skirt was under my bedside table and her boxers near the door. The sheets were half removed from the mattress and the blanket was upside down, only covering our chests. I passed my fingers through her fluffy hair, not strong enough to resist the temptation anymore. I noticed she started to move and quickly took my hand out of her face, pretending nothing happened. She finally opened her eyes, yawning and smiling when she saw me. 

- Morning babe, did you sleep well?  - Best sleep of my life. She answered with a raspy morning voice which made me smile and giggle.  - Was I THAT great last night ? I chuckled. - Yes, you were sooo so great.  - Thanks, you were not so bad yourself.  - Not so bad ugh? That’s it? - I'm just kidding, it was perfect. I never felt so good with anyone before. I feel very good around you Ellie.  - Me too. I really like you, I care for you a lot, you’re an amazing person and hanging out with you has been making me feel so much better too. But I really want you to get better. You should focus on yourself and on your healing process. I don’t want this to go further before you manage your addiction; I will stay by your side and help you with everything you need but I don’t want anything to be official before you handle this. I hope you understand.

It took me some seconds to process this. It felt like a knife in the heart but I knew she had good intentions.

- Oh okay. I understand, you have a lot going on too. I don't want us to get together if it is to become a burden for you either. I guess you’re right it’s better like that. 

Saying those words broke my heart but it was the right thing to do. She thanked me for understanding, kissed me and took me in her arms. As we started cuddling and about to make it the only plan for the day, her phone rang. She rolled over me to reach it and picked it up.

- Yes? yes. okay. now ? ugh, ok. okay okay I’m coming. 

She sighed as she hung up. 

- Ugh I’m sorry babe I have some work today. She kissed me once more before standing up and collecting her clothes to dress up. 

She went to get herself ready and then I heard the door slamming, her footsteps running from outside and the sound of her car driving away. I was now left alone with my thoughts; I kept on staring at the ceiling and didn’t move an inch since she left the bed. I felt the warmth she left next to me slowly fade away as I kept her words on repeat in my mind. I will have to put in so much effort for her to accept me; I’m already feeling bad again, the creepling need for drugs in my blood submerging me again. 

I tried to focus on something else. I placed my Britney Spears CD in my Hi-Fi system and blasted some music to motivate me. I started to clean my bedroom then took some time for myself. I took a bath, did some beauty masks and shaved. I watched TV and chilled a little as I kept on thinking about Ellie and about last night, I smiled at the thought. It was helping not to think about drugs. 

Four hours later, Ellie still wasn’t home and I had no idea when she would come back. I got bored and decided to go for a walk to get some fresh air. This day alone gave me the time to take a step back and put everything into perspective. Ellie was right, there’s no way this is gonna work if I don’t get better first. I want to give us the chance to work, and I have to try my best to get better not only for her but also for me. And just like that I began the first step of my desintoxication journey.

[mylesw272]

I used to not have a good relationship with my family, especially my mother. I had some childhood trauma that I didn’t understand and it wasn’t her fault, I wrongfully blamed her. I had to do a lot of work to get through all that. I’m still working on some things but Im getting better. I talk to my family more than ever, it’s healthier because I learned to not only speak up for myself but to be authentic.

Everyday is worth the fight to better myself and the world around me. After I watched a video on visualization, I did a half hour mediation. It made me want to tear up honestly, I hold onto everything so tightly because of fear. Even if it’s hurting me in the long run, fear doesn’t change anything, it just makes things more difficult. It’s like the thing I’m trying to avoid is the thing I’m attracting more.

I’m feeling more at peace and more free than I was a few years ago. I feel as if I can finally be myself, I barely know who that is yet. I learned recently that people are going to feel what they feel. I can’t change it, maybe I can try to force a change but why be around people I have to change or create to be the version they are in my head? I can only control and focus on my actions, at first that was scary, but I wouldn’t want it any other way. My cat and I are good, so are most things. That’s all I can hope for.

Song of the day for me is Say Less by Akintoye. I heard about this guy from social media. I like the motivational message of doing more actions than always talking about things. “Face to face with a better me, he say do more say less”. It’s a lesson I’m learning honestly.

I took a day off and just spent some time with my family. I am more passion about the degree I chose so now I just have to buckle down and get a good routine in order. Work isn’t too bad when I think about how I prayed for something like this when I was struggling. One day, I’ll look back and miss the simplicity of life right now. I think I was getting stuck in a toxic mental cycle and I lost sight of the goal. I have to remember my why: I do this to change a life, even if it’s just my own right now, I hope I can do something good. I used to believe that there was something so wrong with me. That I would never be good enough for unconditional love. I realized I was looking for the outside world to change first when it was something internal. When I extend myself some grace, stop being my biggest critic and do more things in the world. I’m not that bad actually.

Life is so good. I have to remember that.

[her-quiet-heart]

The beauty of the journey. How I’m learning to be  more present.

You know what they say: ''It's not about the destination, but it's about the journey.'' Perhaps it's one of the biggest clichés, but it's also one of the most true, and it only takes a little living to find it so. I want to talk about the ways I am learning to be more present in the moment and how life-changing it actually can be. I've always been future-minded. Always wishing, hoping, dreaming. Most things I do, I try to do with the future in mind. I don't believe this is a bad thing. In fact, I believe it's important that we are thinking of the future. Thinking long term can help us make wiser decisions and perhaps keeps us away from being too reckless. It's also important to have goals and dreams of course. We all need things to aspire to, something that keeps us moving forward. Having the hope for tomorrow or ''one day'' can inspire us when today might seem bleak and difficult. I also think it's important that we keep dreaming, even small dreams for our whole lives, as this is a big part of what keeps us alive and motivates us. However, even though living for the future can and does help me in these ways, it can also stop me from being fully present in the moment - something that I am beginning to realize that I need to be.

I never did like the idea of living solely for the present because ''that's all we've got''. The idea sounds hopeless to me. How can we have hope if we don't think about the future? In my opinion, it's important, and healthy to stay focused on the future. However, the main reason I would think of the idea of ''living in the moment'' as a hopeless one is the fact that I am not happy with what's happening in said current moment of time. I have been irritated when I would hear people talking about living in the present. My response was always ''Yeah well, my present sucks.'' I have needed and relied upon my future-based mindset, because that has been the only way I could find hope for better during hard times. Why would anyone who is not happy with their present want to think only of it? It is only natural to want to hope for the better in the future. In this case, I find this to be extremely important. Personally, I am at a point where I must keep reminding myself of who I want to be and the life I wish to have. Otherwise, under the weight of current circumstances, I will continue asking myself ''what is the point?'' and I will only become discouraged and want to give up.  So in this way, for anyone who has fallen upon hard times, keeping that hope for tomorrow can be crucial for your mental health and finding the strength and the will to go on.

Can you live too much for the future? Yes. However, it is also possible to dwell too much in the present that it may drive you to thinking there is no hope. So how then do we live? How can we be present in the present as it were, particularly in hard times, and still maintain our hope for the future? Without losing ourselves in either way.

Well, what I've learned is quite simple. The reason I find it difficult to focus on the present moment as well as the future, is simply because everything about right now feels bad and hard. You can imagine then why it can be upsetting when someone says ''the present is all we have.'' Why would I want to live only for this? If that were the case, I might as well quit now. But, I am finding that just as there in hope in looking to the future, there is also hope to be found here and now. It simply takes having open eyes to see it. My eyes are opening.

Times are difficult, without a doubt. When the present moment is full of pain, grief, frustration and struggle. What helps me is to realize that this is not all my life is. Oh sure, it can seem like it sometimes. There are days I feel so overcome by it all, exhausted from the fighting and drowning under the heavy weight of the heartache within. In the midst of trying times, darkness can be so overwhelming, and it's easy to start thinking that this is all there is. When we look to the past, and are filled with longing, we tend to romanticize it for the parts we miss. We forget about the rest which we might not actually want to go back to. It's the same when we go through hard times in the present. We can get so caught up in trouble that we lose sight of the good that remains to us even in such times. So, if this is what they mean by ''living in the present'' then I agree wholeheartedly as I am learning how to do it myself.

The truth is, not everything about my present life is bad. Recognizing this is what feeds me the hope I need right here and now. I have many good things, some of which I have had all along, but many that I did not have before. Either way, I have come to know that if it were not for the hard things, the good things would not mean as much to me as they do now. I wouldn't treasure them properly. Sometimes, if not always, it takes the bad to show us what the good is worth. In essence it takes darkness for light to shine. And although there are times when darkness seems to suffocate the light, it never truly does. In the darkness, the light shines brighter, and that light becomes so much more beautiful to you. Love, friendship and kindness mean more when your heart is broken. They go far deeper. If our hardships can do anything for us, they can really open our eyes to the good, if we let them.

Some days, the struggle is so intense that it can be so consuming, and it can feel like I am all alone with nothing. But in those times, all I need to do is look within my little world and see everything that remains to me, and I realize that is not true and it never will be. I am reminded that I have certainly not been left with nothing. In fact, I have been given some of the best things one can ever be given. Whenever I take the time to dwell on these things, I am comforted and filled with a kind of joy even when I don't necessarily feel happy. I have been blessed with things that fill my heart with warmth and my life with light even on the darkest and most miserable of days. Even though the bad often seems to outweigh the good and the light may be small, it’s always there somewhere and when I fix my eyes on it, it’s somehow enough to keep me hoping, even here - in the middle of it all.

It's in these hard times that I have found the most goodness, and it's been opening my eyes to the mercy that has followed me all of my life. To the care of a loving God who hears my prayers for help. I still pray for help, but now my prayer is also that my eyes will be open to the help that He sends. Oftentimes, it doesn't come in places that we expect, but always in places that we need it the most. Knowing and experiencing this is what keeps resurrecting and preserving my faith through the hardest of days. The biggest blessing of all I suppose; discovering that I have not been completely abandoned and left empty handed. God in His grace has provided for me all the way, sustaining, giving me strength, and everything I need, exactly when I need it. True to promise, working everything together for good. Shaping me, growing me, teaching  me, and making my life richer than any I would have had if things had always gone exactly my way.

Don't get me wrong, sometimes it can be easy to forget and not easy to see. And I still pray for change and better days ahead. I still dream of the future, with an ache so deep for things I hope to be. However, I am learning to be more present in the moment as I begin to notice on a deeper level, the goodness that is around me and appreciate every day for what it is. Sometimes I wonder if anything good can come of it all, but I don't need to look too far to find that good has already come. There is no place so hard in life that something good cannot be found.

If I had gotten to where I want to be straight away, and if all these troubles never existed or if they went away so easily, I wouldn't have half of the positive things I have now. The things I've learned, the people I've met and have grown to love, the small things that have become big, the memories I'm making without even knowing it, and so many other things about my life and the person I am now. Everything I love now and have ever loved before. None of this would mean so much if not for the hard times in which they found me. This, I'm discovering, is the beauty of it all. Learning that there is indeed plenty of purpose to the journey, and that all of it, every single thing matters. The cliché is true because when you think about it the journey is not just one part of our life, the journey IS our life. I still think it's important to have dreams, a vision for the future. Especially in our rough times. There's nothing wrong with hoping for things. However, I have come to a point where I no longer want to keep waiting for certain things to come or certain things to go before I start to truly appreciate and live my life. I certainly don't want to live with eyes blinded to the good things that exist here and now. A sad heart can still be a thankful one, and I am determined that mine will be so. And just think, all we have now was once unknown to us, and all we know now is not all we will ever know. That’s a reason to be hopeful right there, excited even. Remembering there still so much to be found and experienced along this hard, but beautiful and amazing journey that we call life.

So, this is how I'm learning to live in and appreciate the present, despite its hardships, without losing hope. By remembering the blessings that exist in my life, counting my rainbows as it were. I wouldn't say that I have been completely blind or ungrateful, but the trouble that fills our minds can cloud of view of the good that is still in our lives, right here and now. Now, I am waking up more to see these things. I no longer want to live as though there's only hope in the future, and lose out on what's here for me now. I'm starting to realize that in many ways, these are the days I will probably remember the most in years to come, and this is how I will learn to value them now. I am very guilty of living each day like it's merely something to get through. Something to endure until I'm where I want to be. I can’t honestly say that I have managed to stop this. However, I am learning that the best way to endure such days is to still keep myself open to what’s around me and the value that each present moment can still give to me. Living in the present has always thrown me into despair. I'm learning to change that by changing the way I view the present. Hard as it might be, each day really is a gift - one that can be used for many good things, not something we are forced to put up with. Sure, we can live life like that, but maybe there's a better way. Maybe there is meaning to the present. Value in every moment and season of life. Maybe there is a lot of learning and purpose in each day, and in each place we find ourselves.

To sum this up as best I can, God is good and gracious, there can be gold found in any wreckage. and life is not something we wait for or travel to. This is where our lives are lived and our stories told - right here and right now - in the journey. Ultimately, it's about our perspective. It's very simple, but allowing myself to see it this way is what is teaching  me to be more present in my own life. Helping me to embrace it more fully and experience it more completely. Because all of it matters. Every single day. Every little bit. 🤍

[n0resistance]

Effortless…

    I was now turning 26. But I honestly did not want a relationship what so ever. I thought, you’re in LA just make friends. Get a job. Make life happen. 

    I met people that became fast friends and some guys that never would want to be serious. I met someone who never wanted to be in a relationship and when one of his famous friends hit him up to party (So LA), he would leave me and totally disappear. It’s gross. And an illusion. Those weren’t real friends at all.

     Life had full of purpose though. But my last relationship wasn’t completely over because we had baggage. We had a short film that he needed to edit and we were working on it already for a year. 

   But us having no relationship equaled no motivation to do it. Especially that he was now in school and working full time and wanted to find new projects and forget me and forget our project.

    This project was “the” project. It was a journey of healing for me. It was my truth. Low budget, independent, a play first, and all the focus was on the writing and the acting. Bringing my ex on as the DP and editor, all the good equipment, editing work, and the process of it looking professional came from him. So when I moved, and hopeful that we would stay together, I trusted we would finish it no matter what.

    However, it did not pan out that way, and forever fighting for it, I got it back thanks to a friend of mine who’s father was technically his boss. This job and company was his highest paying job yet.  And he gave up being an artist for it. And I think he was afraid of my friend and her connections so he was compliant.

    I remember taking an uber to him while I was in NY for a day and he was supposed to transfer the unedited footage to an external hard drive so I could have the footage and just finish it myself. When he came outside of the factory with the hard drive I remember seeing a tear fall down his face and I felt equally as sad knowing that would be the last time I ever saw him. I think his tears was his loss of pride more than losing me. It felt like he wanted to take something of mine because I moved away. Again codependent and toxic was the title of this relationship. 

   But I won the battle. I came home to LA and jumped up and down with my roommate. We won! We got the movie back. 

    I finished it and made 3 more that year. Short films. Which even though I adore traveling, I’m lucky to see a lot of the world. Making movies is probably the coolest thing I’ve ever done. 

.

[mounjarouaepharmacy1]

Real Stories: How Patients Lost Weight with Mounjaro

Weight loss can be an emotional and physical challenge, especially when traditional methods like dieting and exercise don’t yield the desired results. Fortunately, Mounjaro has emerged as a powerful ally in the weight loss journey for many individuals. In this article, I’ll share real-life success stories of people who transformed their lives with the help of Mounjaro. These stories showcase not just weight loss but the life-changing confidence, health improvements, and joy they achieved.

How Mounjaro Works for Weight Loss

Before diving into the stories, let’s recap how Mounjaro helps patients lose weight:

Appetite Regulation: It curbs excessive hunger by targeting specific receptors in the brain.

Boosting Metabolism: By enhancing your body’s metabolic processes, it allows you to burn calories more efficiently.

Blood Sugar Management: Keeping blood sugar levels stable reduces cravings and ensures sustained energy.

Sarah’s Journey: Regaining Control Over Her Health

Sarah, a 34-year-old teacher, struggled with her weight for years due to a sedentary lifestyle and stress-eating. At her highest weight, she felt tired, unmotivated, and worried about her health. After consulting her doctor, she started taking Mounjaro.

The Turning Point

Sarah noticed immediate changes in her appetite. “I finally felt like I was in control of my cravings,” she shared. With Mounjaro’s support, she paired her treatment with small but consistent changes like meal prepping and walking 20 minutes daily.

The Results

Within eight months, Sarah lost 45 pounds. Beyond the numbers, she regained her confidence, started participating in community events, and felt healthier than ever.

“Mounjaro was the tool I needed to make sustainable changes. It wasn’t a magic fix—it helped me stay focused and motivated.”

John’s Transformation: Losing Weight for a Better Future

John, a 48-year-old father of three, faced health issues like high blood pressure and prediabetes due to obesity. After trying various diets with limited success, his doctor recommended Mounjaro.

Overcoming Challenges

Initially skeptical, John committed to using Mounjaro as prescribed while making lifestyle changes. He swapped processed foods for whole, nutritious meals and started cycling on weekends with his kids.

A New Lease on Life

In a year, John lost 60 pounds and reversed his prediabetes. He now has more energy to play with his kids and feels more optimistic about his health.

“I’m not just losing weight—I’m gaining years of quality time with my family. Mounjaro gave me a fighting chance.”

Emily’s Story: Finding Confidence Through Weight Loss

Emily, a 27-year-old college student, struggled with emotional eating and body image issues. She tried restrictive diets, but they left her feeling deprived and frustrated. When she learned about Mounjaro, she saw it as an opportunity to regain her confidence.

Embracing a Healthier Lifestyle

Mounjaro helped Emily regulate her appetite, making it easier to focus on balanced meals. She joined a yoga class, which not only helped her physically but also improved her mental well-being.

The Outcome

Over six months, Emily lost 35 pounds and gained newfound self-esteem.

“I’m finally comfortable in my own skin. Mounjaro didn’t just help me lose weight—it helped me love myself again.”

Why These Stories Matter

These real-life accounts demonstrate how Mounjaro can be a life-changing tool when paired with determination and healthy habits. Whether it’s gaining energy to play with kids, reclaiming self-confidence, or improving overall health, Mounjaro has helped many individuals achieve their goals.

Frequently Asked Questions

1. How quickly can I expect to see results with Mounjaro? Results vary, but many patients notice changes in appetite and energy levels within the first few weeks. Significant weight loss often occurs over several months with consistent use and lifestyle changes.

2. Are there side effects of using Mounjaro? Some users may experience mild side effects like nausea, fatigue, or digestive discomfort. These usually improve over time as the body adjusts. Consult your doctor for guidance.

3. Is Mounjaro suitable for everyone? Mounjaro is prescribed based on individual needs. It’s essential to consult with a healthcare provider to determine if it’s the right option for you.

4. Can Mounjaro replace diet and exercise? No, Mounjaro is most effective when used alongside a healthy diet and regular physical activity. It’s a tool to support sustainable weight loss, not a standalone solution.

Final Thoughts

Mounjaro has transformed the lives of many, offering hope and results where other methods failed. These success stories highlight the importance of finding the right tools and maintaining a commitment to healthier habits.

If you’re ready to take control of your weight loss journey, consult your healthcare provider to see if Mounjaro is the right fit for you. Remember, your journey is uniquely yours—embrace it one step at a time!

[itsjustaphasema]

Crammed Thoughts and Quiet Judgments

Today, I’m having one of those moments—an ugly, fat-shaming moment that feels too rude to say aloud but too loud in my head to ignore. I know I shouldn’t think this way; I’m not blind to my own flaws. I’m not Victoria’s Secret skinny, and I’ve fought my own battles with weight, but my mind doesn’t seem to care about that right now.

I’m crammed into the back seat of a car, squeezed between a door and two other women. To my left is someone who, if she weren’t so loud, fake, and riddled with questionable life choices, might actually catch my eye. And then there’s the other one—a nice enough person, sure, but her choices in life and the people she surrounds herself with leave me baffled.

But the real focus of my thoughts is the two women in the front seat. They spill over their chairs, their bodies far exceeding the space meant for them.

Rolls encroach on the handbrake and armrest, and their sheer size has me shrinking into myself. My mind races, and as much as I try to redirect it, the thoughts keep coming.

I know better. I know these thoughts are toxic. But there’s also a twisted sense of motivation buried in them. Seeing them makes me double down on my resolve. This is what I don’t want to become. Amnia, of course, seizes the moment, amplifying my worst thoughts. Her voice is cruel, mocking, painting absurd scenarios of relationships and duct tape, all to remind me why she believes we can’t allow ourselves to gain even a fraction of that weight.

It’s ironic and shameful, really. I’ve been there—maybe not that size, but big enough to know the struggle, the judgment, the self-loathing that comes with it. I know how much it hurts when people stare or whisper, yet here I am, doing the same thing in my head.

Amnia feeds on this, twisting my discomfort into fuel for her constant critique. She reminds me why I’m fighting so hard, why I push myself to limits that others might see as unhealthy. She tells me that as long as I listen to her, I’ll never become what I fear.

I hate that these thoughts exist, but I can’t silence them. Maybe they’re wrong. Maybe they’re just a reflection of my own insecurities, projected onto others. But for now, they’re there, whispering and shouting, pushing and pulling, reminding me of the line I’m terrified to cross.

[jdgo51]

NOVEMBER 14, 2024

Finishing Well

Steve Wakefield (Alabama, USA)

"Everyone who competes in the games goes into strict training. They do it to get a crown that will not last, but we do it to get a crown that will last forever." - 1 Corinthians 9:25 (NIV)

"'I enjoy participating in road races, triathlons, and other athletic competitions. One of my favorite motivational quotes says, “Finishing ‘dead last’ trumps ‘did not finish,’ which trumps ‘did not start.’” Those words remind me to focus on the journey and not the end result. For some, placing in the top of their age division is important, while others just want to start a healthy lifestyle. No matter the goal, the participant must train for the race, which requires discipline, commitment, and getting to the starting line!

Paul’s letter to the Corinthians compares our spiritual journey to an earthly race. Unlike an earthly race, as Christians we are seeking a reward that will last. Paul tells us that we need strict training in our spiritual lives that takes work, preparation, and discipline. Putting in the work requires having a plan and a starting point. Whether our starting point is reading the Bible every day, spending time in prayer with God, devoting ourselves to loving service to others — beginning a life of active faith gives us the opportunity to finish our spiritual journey well."' Have a faith that is moving, loving God and loving others. Stay on track.

TODAY'S PRAYER

"Dear Lord, give us the strength and courage to begin and continue our spiritual work today." Amen.

Corinthians 9:24-27

"24 Don’t you know that all the runners in the stadium run, but only one gets the prize? So run to win. 25 Everyone who competes practices self-discipline in everything. The runners do this to get a crown of leaves that shrivel up and die, but we do it to receive a crown that never dies. 26 So now this is how I run—not without a clear goal in sight. I fight like a boxer in the ring, not like someone who is shadowboxing. 27 Rather, I’m landing punches on my own body and subduing it like a slave. I do this to be sure that I myself won’t be disqualified after preaching to others." Train for your life and be prepared in every way with God guiding. Blessings! Joe

[dyedblueuniverse11]

My Struggle with Writing

The first thing I wanted to talk about is my continuing problem with writing work.

The problem is my life. The point of life I am at right now requires that I focus solely on my higher education. I am supposed to get to college, get a compulsory science degree and then get a paying job. That’s the goal , that’s the dream of not only my parents but basically everyone I know.

And in pursuit of that goal , I have been stuck in this cycle of forcing myself to study for the past 2 and a half year. I passed out school and extra two year of junior college and I am still stuck.

it’s like time is moving but I’m still living in 2020 . Covid was another reason why my academic life is such a disaster. I am failing expectations left and right and don’t know what my life will be next year. I am getting older in age but not in maturity.

I still feel like a 16 year old. I have never experienced what being 18 truly means and it’s already past me and among all these things one thing and the only thing that I am certain about is writing.

It’s the only thing that gives me hope and gives me motivation. I want to be a writer and am afraid I will fail in that too.

Once in a while I get this unexplainable urge to start a new fic, in a moment of desperation where my mind fights for my survival , I even start and post those fics but after the hit of gratification passes , guilt makes me fall hard. The only thing I can think about when I am writing my fic passionately is “you could have used this time to study.” “You should be studying, you can write later .” And then I don’t write or post my fic anymore. But I don’t study either. I get in a depressive loophole.

that’s why my fics on ao3 starts but never ends. So my everyday resolution is to see all my fics completed.