#and I’m about to become a literal dragoner fucker

[who-can-touch-my-boob]

<- love and deepspace masterlist

Just me and my husband having a cute little photo shoot.

[hiccupbutpurple]

Decided to start writing a story about Naga Viggo (and human Hiccup) and it’s slowly becoming literally every monster fucker story in existence and it’s low key really fun.

(And while doing this, I was looking at my list of ideas to try and work out how I wanted the more spicy scenes to go and ended up re-finding my ‘so you wanna marry Daisy’ dagcup fic that I completely forgot about with dragon Hiccup and Dagur trying to romance him after his boats got attacked, so he goes to Chief Astrid who sings the whole ‘so you wanna marry daisy’ and in my heart it is a musical number with Astrid dancing on the table and Berk cheering around her, and Dagur joining the dance (plus Heathstrid with Astrid telling Dagur that one condition of sharing Hiccup’s location is to make sure Heather knows she’ll stop by that night) but in the fic it’s just a convo cause idk how to write that lol. So that’s also fun and maybe I’ll actually finish it soon.)

Anyway, my main point is to complain about the fact that my my brain decide to wanna do monster stuff after Halloween, because of course it did.

Actually edit: I’m blaming @reallyprofoundkryptonite cause we’ve been talking about monster stuff which is probs (definitely) a reason why I started thinking about Naga Viggo ;)

[mayonaisalspray]

Do you have any tips for naming characters? I've been wanting to start a pokemon irl blog for like, a month and a half, but literally the only thing stopping me is that I can't name this stupid fucker. thank you!

Okay so. Idk if I’m the best person to ask because the way I name characters is genuinely just. Ace attorney names plus. But I’ll still take you step by step with how I do it

The names I choose basically always have some kind of meaning behind them. In most cases it’s pretty obvious what the meaning is (Trix is a mischievous kid who loves playing pranks for example) which works, but I like trying to go for a name with multiple meanings if I can (Yew is a ghost, yew trees are associated with death and rebirth, he was named by someone trying to become a pokemon professor, it also allows for making stupid mistaking yew for you and vice versa jokes). Bonus points if you can make it a pun

I’m not the best at explaining so I’ll just walk you through an example. When I’m thinking of a name I think about the character’s personality, traits, and narrative purpose first. In this example I’ll use a character I needed a name for, a small but magically adept black and green dragon like creature born from the spite of another person. Then I pick one word I think sums up the character decently. I think Spite works well.

Spite could work as a name (I’d probably corrupt the word to Spyte or something) but for simpler words I do one of two things. I either look for a synonym (Looking at the list I think Vex is good) or I look for common symbols of that word (Crow maybe, Spider is the better choice tho here imo). If the symbol is an animal or just a general kind of plant I look for specific species of that thing to see if there are any names I like there (I didn’t see anything I liked this time lol)

Then it’s just a matter of choosing the name you like most/fits best! Last names are a whole different beast honestly I just don’t give characters one unless it’s really important but most of the time it does just end up becoming an ace attorney pun name. (Trix didn’t have a last name until it needed one and I just said fuck it and made his last name Entreat)

Hopefully this helps and isn’t just word garbage LOL. Please feel free to ask again if you want more specific advice! Also I’d love to see what your blog ends up being, so if you’d like send me the blog name when it’s done :D

[colonelpancakes]

Continued!

This show is so goddamn pretty.

Okayy this has officially strayed into the realm of creepy. The fact that they don't know how long they've been dancing and aren’t phased at all by the fact that their daughter is now like a full decade older than she was when they last saw her is. unsettling to say the least. Also very concerning.

Ohh, I am so fucking nervous right now the dread is quickly becoming all consuming.

Cosmic justi- OH MY GOD THAT SCARED ME.

Tf do you mean she’s not innocent? She’s like eight. That’s a baby.

OH? Wait, so did she connect one of them to an arcanum? Can Startouch elves do that? I don’t think they’re implying she gave them dark magic so. Is her entire crime literally just. Letting a human use primal spells? Leave my girl alone, she did nothing!

Ohhh… Aaravos putting his arm around Leola and stroking her hair… Leola covering her ears… Sweetheart, darling. I want to protect this girl so badly and I just know the show is about to use that fact to break my heart.

Also, again, the way Aaravos is animated here is so damn good. He’s so expressive and just. Ough. Respect for the freaking animators.

“There is a witness. The Dragon Prince himself. Anak Arao.” Ahhh so there’s the history. I see why Aaravos had it out for him now.

“She must pay the price.” No, I am entirely on Aaravos’s side here, that is a goddamn CHILD. Children are going to break rules! Especially if they don’t understand those rules and ESPECIALLY if they’re doing it to help their friend! That’s just how children work!

Also, Leola hiding behind her dad… Ough…

Ough. Oh my god my heart. I. Something about Aaravos defending the innocence of an action done out of love and the fact that the spell needs to be cast with love and the fact that that’s his daughter and he loves her so much. I don’t know man, I don’t have words right now, I just. Oh my god this show is going to break me.

So it does seem like Startouch elves are all Timeblind, assuming that they’re talking about humans using dark magic. That makes sense, I had wondered about that in The Starscraper. If Skywing elves can become Timeblind by connecting to the stars, then it makes perfect sense that Startouch elves, who are born with a powerful connection to the stars, are also born Timeblind.

HOLD UP, THE PUNISHMENT IS DEATH??? YOU’RE TRYING TO GIVE THE DEATH PENALTY TO A NINE YEAR OLD BECAUSE. BECAUSE WHAT, SHE WAS NICE TO HER FRIEND? PEOPLE.

Oh my god, Jesus Christ. Uh. Hm. Sir, that is a child. That is a baby. Even if she did do something wrong, punishment for a misdeed should be like. A time-out or something not the goddamn death penalty. Why the fuck are these people in charge of running the universe?

Ohh… Aaravos… Fuck. I. Oh my god. Sweethearts… The fact that, without hesitation, he is fully willing to give up his entire immortal existence if it means his daughter can live in his stead… I will not lie, Aaravos here is reminding me extremely of my own parents and it’s making me very sad. (To clarify, my parents are fine and in fact watching this show with me, just, him sacrificing himself reminds me of them. Something about unconditional, undying love, especially from a parent just punches me in the gut, man.)

YOU! There you are! I’m ninety percent sure now that it’s just a coincidence but I still think they look like Sarai. Also, while I was looking at the credits of Episode one, I realized that’s the Merciful One and remembered that tweet where the creators confirmed that they use they/them pronouns so. Apologies for misgendering them in my first liveblog post. Because of the way tumblr works when it comes to reblogs I can’t really go back and edit the post to have the correct pronouns but, uh, I’m aware now. Whoops. Anyways, diversity win! The immortal being attempting to sentence your small child to death is nonbinary! Wooh…

FUCKERS. MOTHERFUCKERS. THAT’S NOT WHAT HE WAS ASKING FOR AND YOU KNOW IT. THAT. IS. AN. INNOCENT. CHILD. In any given scenario, if you are given a choice to either kill a child or not kill a child. KILLING THE CHILD IS THE WRONG OPTION.

I think Aaravos should be allowed to kill god actually. I think we can give him this one.

“It was rescued? By who?” “Me."

Rayla’s little smile!! She’s finally getting to share the person she’s become with her parents! She’s finally able to see them be proud of her for everything she’s done!! My girl 🥹🥹🥹

“This is where we said goodbye before you left. And this is where we’ll say goodbye again.”

Oh… Oh, honey… I am going to cry.

Ough, Rayla’s voice actress, the little tremble in her voice, the desperation. Let my girl have her parents please… She deserves to be able to hug them again. I understand why she’s letting them go but… Oh my god. I’m so sad.

I am so sad right now. Ough. Look at themmm.

NOT BABY RAYLA REFLECTED IN THE POOL… Oh my god I’m sobbing. I. I love her so much, frick. Oh…

Oh honey… Oh love… I am so bad at not crying during goodbyes, oh…

Oh, he is so fucking angry. Rightfully so. Also, poor fucking Leola. She’s just hiding behind her dad while a council talks about how they’re going to kill both of them, what the fuck. My girl does not deserve this.

OH MY GOD HE WAS QUOTING THE COUNCIL ELF??? OUGH. That adds a new layer to that line.

“But in that moment, I chose to live and my life took on new purpose.”

Ough. He’s literally choosing to live out of spite. He can’t save his daughter so by god is he going to avenge her. Fuck…

Leola… Honey… Oh my god, fuck. This is a scared child. I. Oh my god.

Ough. Oh my god. Fuck. The way he tries to comfort her before she dies, to make her just a little bit less scared during what’s going to be her last moments by telling her that she’s going somewhere peaceful… Fuck. Okay this show is actually destroying me oh my god.

“Even if you can’t feel my loving arms wrapped around you, you will feel me holding you in my mind and with my heart.”

The way that this is so reminiscent to what Sarai tells Callum in season two…

“To know something truly and deeply you must know it with your head, hand, and heart. Mind, body, and spirit. I love you with all of myself, and I always will.”

Oh my god. What if I just died right here right now huh? What if I just cried myself to death. Fuck. Oh my god.

YOU DIDN’T EVEN GIVE THEM FIVE FUCKING MINUTES.

I'm out of images noooo

Continued in reblogs again

Watching The Dragon Prince Season Six Part Nine: Stardust! The time has come to see if Rayla will make it out of this season with the most parents. I hope so

Under the cut as per the usual!

Hey, the quote from the beginning of episode one! I wonder if we’ll find out more about him and that other Startouch elf given that he’s quoting them now.

Ohhh. Okay. I was entirely convinced that the quasar diamond was another fake. Whoops

Oh, Claudia, honey… 🥺

Skafjlk Something about Aaravos just suddenly showing up next to Claudia so that he can shush her is so funny to me. I think it might be Terry’s face.

HUH? EXCUSE ME??? That was not something I expected. Aaravos has a kid?? Hello?

Darling!!! Oh, honey. She looks so sweet!!! I love her already.

I am also already feeling immense dread because Aaravos is talking about her in the past tense and she isn’t here in present day. “Had a daughter” oh god. Something bad is going to happen to the baby isn’t it. I am not ready.

Sweethearttttt. Oh my god, the way that you can hear the love in Aaravos’s voice as he talks about her… It’s not an emotion don't think I could have pictured on him before this episode but it's so tangible, the voice acting in this episode is incredible. This episode is going to murder me isn’t it.

Also, I like how the terms he's using to describe her could also easily apply to Claudia whom he's trying to get to empathize with him. To connect her own love for her father to his love for his daughter.

Okay, this might be me reading into it but. The way his daughter's hands are held in this picture looks a lot like the way I flap my hands when I stim. Is Aaravos’s daughter maybe neurodivergent? Either way, I love her already, she’s so sweet.

Give Aaravos’s VA an award. The RANGE this man has, spanning from threatening to playful to right here where it’s so soft and sad and full of love for his daughter.

Also, the adoraburrs!!! Look at her!!!

…I am remembering vividly that response from the writers when someone asked if the Startouch child in the intro was a younger Aaravos and they responded that the child was Leola. Oh no. And again, the fact that Aaravos is talking about Leola only in the past tense… I am not ready for this episode oh no. NOTHING HAS EVEN HAPPENED YET AND I’M ABOUT TO CRY.

Also, the animators always do such an amazing job with Aaravos’s expressions. I just. Oh…

Callum, buddy, I don't think you're helping.

Oh, Rayla, honey… I might be wrong but I think that’s the first time Rayla has actually verbally acknowledged Runaan and Ethari as her parents. I know she’s called them her family before but I don’t think she’s called them her parents.

“Those coins will guide you. Each coin contains a fragment of a soul. On the other side, the rest of the soul longs to be whole again, for it cannot pass into death incomplete.”

I like the clarification of what the coins actually do to a person and why they’re worse than death. Because they don’t allow the spirit to achieve peace by passing on or allow them to continue their life, they trap them in between life and death. I also really like that they’re bringing back the stuff from Through the Moon.

Callum… I love them so much oh my gosh. He’s so nervous for her…

They're so sweet, I love them!!!

Ough and the fact that, to get her family back, Rayla has to dive into the lake despite her fear of the water.

OHH NOO I am getting Through the Moon flashbacks, Runaan??? Buddy?? I wonder if it’s a side effect of being in the coin? Are Rayla’s bio parents gonna be like that too?

While the corruption obviously isn’t great, I must say, I like the curly hair on Runaan.

RUNAAN. NO. No killing Rayla. Bad Runaan.

Rayla, honey...

Petition to give Rayla a break.

Oh, they’re dancing. Interesting. Maybe it's some kind of trance that Rayla needs to break them out of? Like there's a different challenge for each soul that she needs to overcome? I don't know, something definitely feels off.

Ohh… The way Claudia looks up at him, she's so enraptured in the story.

Baby!!! Baby girl!!

OH??? It looks like each side unlocks a different arcanum and a different version of the book, intriguing…

I wonder if there’s something particularly special written in the book or if it’s just a tome of knowledge of the arcanums. Rayla did originally think the cube was a piece from a children’s game, maybe in a way, she was right.

SKjafslkjf. Leolaaa. I love mustache Aaravos so much. And it’s so humanizing seeing such a different side of him. To have a moment where he’s not some all-knowing mysterious arch-mage but just a father with a young daughter who likes to poke fun at him sometimes.

Oh no!! Kiddo!

Aaravos being so gentle with the little kid…

Ohh Aaravos definitely knows whoever took Leola and by the look of it, he does not like them very much.

Also, I’m curious who the golden dragon was, that’s an interesting detail.

Continued in reblogs!

[mistleaneous-chaos]

Ok so I just completed the Fia questline and BOY do I have thoughts

Elden Ring Spoilers

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Ok so here we go:

1- Man Godwyn is made so much cooler by the implications of Lichdragon Fortissax, what with Fortissax literally going “I’m bouta fight Death” to let Godwyn die properly only to then fight so hard to no avail that he succumbs to it and becomes a Lichdragon like dude. You KNOW they were BFFs when that dragon fought death for his bestie

2- I’m still caught up by the Dark souls 1 references that is just- Godwyn’s new “form”. Because now not only is he the First Of The Dead (Demigods) like Nito, but now he has this sort of Witch of Chaos vibe where I think he’s in the roots?(Also the deeproot depths roots kept creeping me out and eventually I realized it’s because they lowkey looked like fingers grasping the buildings underground)

3- The fact that these fuckers introduced a fucking THIRD ETERNAL CITY WHEN WE BARELY KNOW ENOUGH ABOUT NOKRON AND NOKSTELLA BESIDES ASTELS AFFECTS IS JUST. THE AUDACITY.

4- Lhuthel the Headless’ description implies that their guarding of Godwyn until his revival allowed them an Erdtree burial. So does that mean that people know that Godwyn is the way he is now? Or do they all just know that he didn’t die a proper death and think he’s going to come back?

5- Golden Epitath’s description really makes me think that Miquella prayed for Godwyn to die a proper death, mainly because the description says “Lord Brother” and you can’t tell me that the boy who made his papa a boomerang incantation wouldn’t call his brother “Lord Brother” like c’mon.

6- Fia summoning Rogier FUCKED WITH ME. I WAS WORRIED THAT WAS ACTUALLY HIM FOR A SEC THEN I REALIZED SHE WAS PROBABLY JUST MAKING CLONES.

7- Lionel’s adoption of Fia is still hilarious because he really just saw her and went “Hmm. I believe today I will adopt an Undead Person!” And then did. And he even had time to go to the Radahn Festival!

8- This really does make me think that Godwyn’s death also had a hand in corrupting the 2 Fingers as well as The Shattering as a whole. Because his body is making deathroot and if you check the map you find it BELOW THE CAPITAL. He has a DIRECT SHOT TO THE ERDTREE. So the implications of Deathroot corrupting the Erdtree is absolutely horrifying and maybe why Grace is so fucky or why everyone’s going batshit(Not talking abt frenzied flame just the insane soldiers and shit wandering about, I will probably talk about the Frenzy another time)

9- This also makes me think that the Haligtree may have served a second purpose besides just being a vessel for Miquella’s Growth. I think it may have also been a replacement for the Erdtree or turned into one if Miquella had ascended, possibly to undo Godwyn’s corruption. This may not be true but just a thought

10- Man I thought Godwyn was like, some privileged little guy in the family who got killed in an assassination and that was it, but he turned out to be a diplomat who worked out peace with the dragons, only to be partially killed by people he didn’t know who was working with his half-sister who made sure he didn’t die completely, becoming this weird face and obtaining semi-omnipresence but also lacking any concrete method of communication, becoming a being of Eldritch Horror that nobody can communicate with and is permanently stuck in a state of Undeath… at least he’s got a cool area tho!

(Also I can’t WAIT To write the demigods reacting to him in my AU, that’s gonna be funny as hell)

[renfairewolverine]

I’m not gonna say that daemon is an idiot or some shit but I feel like some people wildly overestimate his scheming and underestimate his love of family. They also refuse to comprehend that 2 things can be true. He can be doing something Kinda Shitty for his own gain but also genuinely care about his family as he does it. He explicitly says to viserys he wants to work WITH him, to be by his SIDE. He wants power yeah sure but he’s not willing to knock off the family he loves for that. And he does love viserys and rhaenyra. That doesn’t stop him from being an absolute fucker but it does keep him from kinslaying or some shit.

When daemon took rhaenyra out sure there’s likely some level of Scheme there, which kind and how much is up for debate, but he also has talked to her and in general about his opinion that as targaryens they should be held to a different standard. Other women can’t be wild and fuck whoever sure, but rhaenyra should be allowed to. Just like he can, because she’s a targaryen.

Things like the targ incest and the valyrian tradition of polygamy are things that are deeply contentious in westeros all the way into the time period of the main show over a century later. Westeros is not cool actually with incest or polygamy. But when the dragon men have like 20 flying fantasy nuke monsters and you have like serfs with pikes you kinda make some concessions.

It’s why Jaime/Cersei is a HUGE DEAL on like every level and considered super fucked up meanwhile viserys and dany talk about marrying each other/the history of incest in their family like it’s normal. For them it is. The polygamy thing has fallen out of favor because even when you’re a royal chad with magic nukes you still gotta pick your battles sometimes and this was one of them. Also over time they just adopt more westerosi/faith of the seven ideals/culture as they move further from the age of the valyrian freehold and become Just Some Weird Westerosi Guys. But daemon is of the opinion that the westerosi can eat shit bc he’s got a Fucking Dragon so he can have 2 wives and fuck his niece. Which is what pisses viserys off so bad. Like DUDE THIS IS SO NOT HOW THE POLITICS WORK NOW. YOU CAN’T HAVE A SECOND WIFE DON’T FUCK UP MY DAUGHTER’S SHIT.

And he DOES want her, for personal and political reasons. Both things can be true. How sexually into her he is currently debatable given how ep4 went but he’s 100% the kinda dude to be possessive over the 2.5 people he actually likes and she doesn’t wanna be married off to Some Random Asshole??? Great! How about This Asshole You Already Know! And bam now he makes one of the only 2 real meaningful connections in his life like 100x more secure and close. Locking down a partner into a strained relationship with a baby scare energy from this shit. But ALSO it gets him a LOT of power. Marrying her wouldn’t make him king. she’s the heir, she’s still inheriting the political power no matter what. He’d be king-consort at best, which is a very toothless position for the most part tbh.

BUT it would put him as one of the CLOSEST PEOPLE TO THE MONARCH and he’s already like, her Favorite Person from day 1 which we see in ep 1 so he would absolutely have a lot of capacity to advise and sway her which is just as good as sitting the throne. People like otto and tywin show us the power of being the monarch’s personal assistant and daemon has already said he wants that. Like yes this is all VERY schemey. He’s Scheming. Daemon is Preforming A Scheme.

He can hold 2 motivations at once he has 2 hands. It can be Weird Interpersonal Targaryen Bullshit and Political Machinations Schemey Schemey.

But I see some people implying he’s like, tywin or tyrion or little finger levels or some shit and HOOOO BOY NAH. Things like the necklace he gives rhaenyra? It’s not a 5d chess manipulation. He likes rhaenyra. She’s His Person. So she gets Gifts. Because he just thinks she’s Neat. At that point he’s literally working under the assumption that HE’S THE HEIR. EVERYTHING POINTS TO THAT. It’s why there’s the whole small council shitshow after aemma’s death— NO ONE WANTS HIM TO BE THE HEIR. Giving his fave relative a gift is not him being a godtier schemer and Knowing Psychically with his huge gigachad brain that buttering her up now will be critical later to his Devious Master Plan™️.

He’s not stupid and he does plan and scheme a good bit. Turning the gold cloaks effectively into his own private army stationed in the fucking capitol is genius and a super sexy power move. But he’s also shown to be impulsive, reckless and heavily ruled by his emotions. His whole suicide mission in ep 3 is FUELED by spite and the NEED to do this all by himself for the clout. They literally SAY this dude would rather DIE than ask for help. He also thinks he can do pretty much whatever he wants because of who he is.

You cannot be a varys/tyrion/tywin/little finger level schemer and be impulsive or reckless or overly emotional. I’d say also say you can’t be arrogant to the point of hubris as well but that’s like 50% of how two of them died after VERY long careers as schemers so uh you kinda can. Daemon’s request for rhaenyra’s hand might seem like a Master Scheme— like “oooo that’s why he did this!!! He’s so clever!!!”. But like— polygamy hasn’t been done since maegor the cruel. Even ignoring Lore Stuff that’s not actively talked about yet in the show like maegor the cruel viserys makes the “we don’t do polygamy anymore” vibes clear— “you already have a wife”. Boom. Shut down in 1 line. You already got one dude knock it off.

Alicent’s reaction to these claims is a LOT of things and it’s coming from a LOT of places but there’s absolutely a lowkey Disgust vibe because incest is, despite what it might sometimes seem in The Dragon Show Extended Universe™️, not actually cool in westeros— or essos for that matter!!! The targs have the “freaky magic dragon blood preservation” exemption clause but it doesn’t mean people are cool with it!!! Alicent even has to say “I know it’s different for you” to like qualify her statements. Daemon saying “I wanna do two of the MOST CONTENTIOUS AND DISLIKED TARGARYEN TRADITIONS AT THE SAME TIME WHEN PEOPLE ALREADY DO NOT LIKE ME” is uhhhhhhh NOT A GREAT LONG TERM POLITICAL MOVE AT THAT MONENT IN TIME.

He could gain the same amount of power he’d likely get from marrying her or frankly MORE from being being rhaenyra’s hand. If he was truly a gigachad big brain 5d chess schemer then he’d actually be working super hard to make her feel like he was her biggest ally and supporter. Viserys is saying she’s his heir but not really properly training for it that we see on screen. He literally has her ushered out of the small council for having an opinion on the kinda issue she’d have to deal with as queen. Literally a PERFECT educational moment for her and she gets ushered out in the most aggressively patronizing way possible. Daemon would gain SO MUCH from swooping in to “help prepare his favorite niece for the crown” and making himself integral to her decision process, sense of confidence, etc. it’s pm what little finger does to sansa (tho they do a shit job showing that in the show even tho they INSIST it happened in s7/8 jsjxjdslls).

Daemon would literally be doing more to put himself in a super sexy powerful position by helping to hype up rhaenyra, solidify her power and popularity and make himself invaluable to her on a pragmatic and emotional level. But uh….. he doesn’t…… bc he’s Not That Good At Scheming. Daemon is not a schemer or politician. He’s closer to a targaryen jaime in terms of like, his political skills and shit. Not an incompetent and not unwilling to play like ned or jon was but uh, kind of a reckless jock with bloodlust for days and some Emotional Issues that make him kind of attention seeking and a thoughtless arrogant dickhead. He can navigate the world of schemers and politics reasonably well but if he could just take otto out back and beat his ass instead he would.

[just-mya-writing]

wasn't sure if you wanted it where reader is in a relationship with each boy, or if there's just a crush, so I did both cuz why not

Fem!Reader Casually Mentions she Masturbates in Front of the Boys

Kyle (if dating)

Bless this boy

He was picking you up with the plan to take you out to eat

You were running just a liiiittle late

But Kyle is on a schedule

No tardiness allowed

So you knew what to expect when you hopped into the gingers car

His expression a mix between annoyance and amusement

Melted into something sweeter as you kissed him on the cheek

He couldn't even scold you for being twenty minutes late

You clicked your seat belt in place as you should always do as he started the ignition

"So what took so long? Make-up? Getting dressed?" he oh so innocently asked

"Nah, I was masturbating" you jokingly responded

oh

oh dear god

Kyle's mind went blank and his brain shut down

You looked over at him when you realized the car wasn't moving

He sat upright, hands clenching the steering wheel, with his mouth slightly ajar

He was blushing

He was drooling

"...Kyyyyyle..."

"Ah...y-yeah?"

He seemed to snap out of it for a sec, turning to look at you while wiping his mouth

You smirked at him

"Whatcha thinking bout?" You asked with a devilish smile

Kyle turned away quickly, face becoming hotter

"I think...you know"

"Oh?" You smiled, unbuckling your seat belt "I do?"

He sunk down in his seat, hands still on the wheel of the motionless vehicle

"Mmhmm..." he bit his bottom lip as he glanced over at you

His entire face turned two shades of red as you moved from your seat to his

Prying his hands off the wheel and moving the seat back, you sat on your boyfriend's lap, staring into his glossy eyes

"I think you should tell me Kyle" you whispered, leaning close to his face. "What were you thinking when I told you I was masturbating?"

His hands were fidgeting at this point, trying to keep away from your thighs

"What would you think..." you continued, licking your lips mid sentence "if I told you I was thinking about you while I touched myself?"

That finally made him come undone

The two of you spent a long time in his car

Missing your dinner reservations entirely

(if not dating)

Flustering Kyle was so much fun to do

Also incredibly easy

You decided it'd be funny to make him turn as red as his hair while in class one day

"Hey Kyle! I know what I want you to get me for my birthday!"

"...your birthday isn't for another-"

You shut him up by thrusting your laptop in his face, showing him the site and item you were requesting

It was a dildo.

A large, black, twelve inch, pulsating, self lubricating dildo

It was on sale

He immediately started sputtering and looking away from the screen

"Wh-what the hell do you need that for?!" He squeaked

You tilted your head to the side in mock confusion

"To masturbate with...duh."

He immediately covered his face, trying to shake the dirty thoughts of one of his best friends away

You tried not to laugh as he almost groaned out your name

"Pleeeease stoooop" he pleaded, face peaking out just enough to see him blushing intensely

"..."

"...so no dildo?"

Stan (dating)

You were hanging out with your close friends one surprisingly warm day

You had convinced everyone to get some bubble tea

So now everyone was hanging around the local cafe, talking about literally nothing

Jokes, stories, and insults flew by so quickly, there was never a lull in the conversation

Stan had his arm around your waist

His grip tightening anytime you spoke and had all the boys look at you

Somehow someway, the conversation went on a huge tangent and y'all were talking about porn stars

Everyone was naming the hottest actors in multiple categories

You piped in with one you personally liked

The boys went quiet as you took a sip of your drink

"Uh...what?"

You looked at the boys curiously

Kenny had a weird smile on his face

Kyle was blushing

Cartman looked like his brain was malfunctioning

Your boyfriend started at you wildly

"You...you watch porn?" Stan asked hesitantly

"What the hell for?!" Cartman squeaked

"Sex education" you said deadpanned. "I watch when I masturbate! Duh" you rolled your eyes

"Oh ho hoo, you're a dirty little girl, aren't you?" Kenny smirked, earning a deadly glare from Stan

You just shrugged your shoulders

"Y-you can't just say stuff like that out loud!" Kyle sputtered

"How the fuck do you even do it without a dick?" Cartman argued

sigh

"Well you see, I usually start with just two fingers and-"

"Alright! That's enough, we're leaving now" Stan announced, grabbing the hand you were about to use to demonstrate and speed walking away

The comments your friends made behind you only made you laugh and cause Stan to walk faster

The blush on your boyfriend's face becoming more apparent, as well as the boner

(if not dating)

"Lalala, can't hear you, nope. I'm not listening..."

Stan was covering his ears, eyes tightly shut while you continued to laugh

"Awww, c'mon Stan. What's wrong with wanting to feel good?" You joked, bumping his shoulder

The two of you were relaxing on his couch playing video games

You didn't realize casually joking about masturbating to one of characters would cause Stan to break down, yet here you were

"Staaaaaaan, c'mon, we gotta finish" you laughed, trying to look at his face

He was definitely blushing

He grumbled incoherently, picking up his controller. Refusing to look at you as the game continued

...

"...I'd masturbate to that character too."

"Please! Why?!"

Stan couldn't exactly focus on the game anymore

Kenny (dating)

ohhhh man

This boy

He is personally offended if you touch yourself without him

You're just laying with him in your room

Actually, you're laying on the floor, while he searches for your "secret drawer" full of "secret toys"

You can't help but shake your head and joke with him

"I bet you have a purple dragon dildo" he snickered "and at least, like, three vibrators"

You laughed, nodding your head

"Oh wow, yup, you got me. I have a very large collection"

Hearing the sarcasm in your voice, Kenny looked over at you with a smirk

"Heh. Knew it"

He went back to his fake search, continuing to mess with you while you went along with it

"I can't believe I haven't even found a bottle of lube yet" he sighed, faking disappointment

"Yeahhh..." you mumbled, picking at your nails. "I used a lot of toys last night, you might wanna check under the bed"

When you didn't hear any response or movement from the boy, you looked up, angling your neck to look at him

His sad, upside-down figure looked back at you

Puppy eyes, lip out and quivering, he looked like a child that was just told they couldn't have any sweets

"...you masturbated...without me?" His voice raised an octave and he added a few fake sniffles "I thought you loved me..."

You held back a chuckle before turning to lay on your stomach

"I'm sorry baby, I was needy"

"I'm needy!" He exclaimed, throwing his hands in the air

"Awww, you poor thing..." you shook your head. "I'll remember that for the next time"

That made him perk up as he shuffled closer to you

"Next time? When is this illusive next time?" He asked, smile growing wider

You paused to think for a second, sitting up

"...you got condoms on you?"

"Duh"

Turns out that "next time" was a lot closer than either of you thought

(if not dating)

He also casually mentions masturbating

Frequently suggests you two masturbate together

Always laughs when you say it in front of the boys cause watching them freak out is the best kind of entertainment

You and him had a sort of friendly competition to see who could get the other flustered

You won when you described how you thought of him while you touched yourself the other day

was it a lie? the truth will never be revealed

Kenny.exe has stopped working

Congrats, you broke the town slut

Cartman (dating)

NOPE

This boy is too immature to even entertain the idea of you playing with yourself

He doesn't even understand female anatomy

He's never even seen you naked before

So when you oh so casually mention a certain past time of yours, his mind just goes blank

He can't even picture it

His sweet, darling, perfect girlfriend

Masturbating?

"Only dudes masturbate! What the hell are you lying for?!"

Bless your patience

You gotta explain

He doesn't even know where the g-spot is

He didn't even know what the clit was

bully him

next time he’s with the gang

he just obnoxiously goes, “hey fuckers, did you know my girlfriend masturbates??? isn’t that weird?” 

congratulations, guess what your friends are gonna be thinking about for the next forever three days 

(If not dating)

?

??

???

he’s

he’s just

why are you telling him this, why is he listening, why is he thinking

he still thinks girls have balls, like

why 

is personally offended each time you allude to it

[hiccanna-tidbits]

The RotBTD+ Gang Plays DnD! (Feat. my ships, sorry not sorry XD)

So highkey I’ve actually been wanting to do a “The Gang Plays DnD” type post for AGES now, but then I saw @hobie-brown and @ohlooksheswriting-wips do DnD AU posts for RotBTD, and then I was like “Ah shit, I really should finish mine, eh?” So thank you to both of you for inspiring me to get off my ass and actually write the post!!!

Hiccup DMs. He comes up with this super complex plot revolving around dragons (because of course) where the party has to dismantle this society ruled by evil knights who want to genocide all of the dragons. Imagine his chagrin when the party wants to do nothing but fuck around in towns and aggravate NPCs 90% of the time.

They usually end up playing at Jack’s apartment, mainly because Hiccup’s dad doesn’t really want a bunch of loud nerds yelling about 20-sided dice in his household while he’s trying to work, if he can at all help it. Jack’s sister regularly barges into their living room and roasts the fuck out of Jack and his friends for being such damn nerds and eats all of their DnD snacks they’ve set out. If they’re in the middle of a combat session, she always gleefully proclaims that they’re all going to die. While Jack is annoyed by this, the rest of the party finds it deeply hilarious.

Jack Overland plays the absolute mayhem warlock Jack Frost, who got his powers through making a deal with the archfey Prince of Frost and has absolutely no qualms about being an evil god’s mortal Sower of Chaos. He spends the vast majority of the campaign doing such useful things as creating ice slicks under annoying NPCs and freezing people’s drinks. He also plays a Tiefling because absolutely no one can talk this boy out of playing the creepy demon race.

Rapunzel plays a woodland nymph druid who is also the party healer (because of course she is). Her name is probably Sunlily or something else suitably hippie-esque. Whenever there’s downtime (or whenever the rest of the party is also dicking around, and she can get away with it), Rapunzel likes to go into the nearest forest and pick the best berries and nuts for the rest of the party. She also loves baking fruit pies and cooking the best nymph food for her companions when given the chance. Definitely the party Cinnamon Roll (every party has one!). She often will turn into cute animals to distract the guards while the party infiltrates a building.

Merida’s character is the party archer and general ranged weapon master, as well as a raging lesbian. Hiccup learns very quickly that any male NPC who tries to flirt with her will very quickly get impaled with an arrow. She can’t ever decide if she wants to be a ranger or a rogue, so she multiclasses in both for flare. She also plays a Tiefling, and continually insists that her character is both scarier and sexier than Jack’s. In combat, she either Leeroy Jenkins her way in with a sword and just starts slashing every which way, or just shoots 90% of the enemies with arrows before the fight even starts. There’s really no in between. She can get away with this because she’s highkey one of the party tanks, and consistently deals a shitton of damage.

Anna plays a human bard, basically having read over the class options and going “Wait, in this one I get to make stylish medieval music??? And wear dramatic and garish outfits and a dumb hat??? And cast wacky illusion spells??? And do silly little magic tricks??? And INSPIRE EVERYONE??? Hell yeah, I’m in!!!” She mostly uses magic attacks in combat (definitely favors Tasha’s Hideous Laughter), but occasionally when she’s out of spell slots she’ll just take to slamming enemies in the face with her lute. She also has WAY too much fun with Vicious Mockery, let’s be real.

Elsa, upon hearing Jack’s character concept, rolls her eyes so far up in her head she can see her damn brain, and vows to play his concept, but serious–solely out of spite. She rolls up a super OP elf Chaos Sorcerer, filled with lots of brooding angst about how uncontrollable her winter powers can get if she isn’t careful. She combines it a bit with Storm Sorcerer so she can create literal blizzards, and Hiccup ends up allowing it just because he thinks it’s cool. Although Elsa’s character is undoubtedly aggravated by the rest of the party’s antics, she starts becoming grudgingly protective of these idiots and can deal some pretty crazy damage when her companions are threatened. She also contains one of the party’s only brain cells.

Eugene of course plays dashing rogue master thief Flynn Rider. Although his high deception and lockpicking skills certainly come in handy, he’s the most chaotic neutral fucker you’ve ever met and will take any excuse to rob NPCs blind or cheat them out of every cent they have in a tavern card game. It’s nigh impossible to get him to cooperate with the rest of the party much of the time, and often Elsa’s character has to either bribe him with some of her family’s gold or threaten to freeze him to stop him backstabbing one or more party members. Eugene’s character forces Hiccup to add in many more heist plotlines than he originally intended. This delights Eugene immensely, and sometimes he goes a bit crazy planning elaborate heists.

Moana plays a sorcerer water genasi. She can control any body of water, but she has a special affinity for controlling saltwater (i.e. the ocean lol). She also requests an animal handling bonus, but only with marine animals, solely because she thought it would be funny. She’s also an ex-pirate who robbed a lot of wealthy merchant ships and freed their slaves back in the day, which Merida thinks is incredibly badass. Moana tends to get bored and unengaged when there are no bodies of water to play around with, so Hiccup ends up having to add a lot more lakes, rivers, and oceans to the campaign than he originally planned on. Moana also takes a sailing skill, and thus the party often ends up traveling by boat. Typically Eugene and Rapunzel will infiltrate and hijack it, and Moana will sail it. Moana probably contains the party’s only other brain cell.

Astrid plays a gigantic berserker orc barbarian who is never without his trusty axe. Astrid is hands down the party’s top tank, and unquestionably deals the most damage every combat session. Much like Merida’s character, Astrid’s character is absolutely a shameless power fantasy. Hiccup pretty easily picks up on this, but is too polite to say anything about it. Jack also picks up on this, but is hardly as courteous as their DM, and teases Astrid mercilessly. Astrid is not amused.

Rapunzel requests that her weapon of choice be a frying pan, her justification being that her character found a discarded one at the edge of a human village outside her woods and mistaked it for a highly-dangerous human weapon. Hiccup is like “…you know what? Fuck it” and rolls up stats for a goddamn frying pan. Jack has nigh-endless admiration for Rapunzel for choosing such a goddamn memey, absurd, yet oddly effective weapon and it definitely makes the poor boy even more smitten with her than he already is.

Eugene and Merida have a bet going on who can sleep with more sexy barmaids. Merida is currently winning, much to Eugene’s chagrin. She’s not even inherently better at seducing NPCs, she and Eugene have the same charisma stat–she just consistently rolls better than Eugene. Eugene is incredibly salty about this.

Anna and Elsa want to be sisters in-game as well, but neither want to change their race–so Anna decides her character was adopted. Hiccup and the rest of the party go along with it, mainly because there’s something deeply hilarious about a regular human bard being adopted and raised by a family of high-powered elf ice mages.

Astrid is absolutely the sort of player who tends to get bored and restless outside of fights, and tends to fidget and twiddle her thumbs waiting for the next combat session. Jack picks up on this, and purposely does more roleplay for longer just to piss her off. He’s also just a very dramatic fucker and highkey loves roleplay.

When she’s not causing mayhem around the town or sleeping with hot women, Merida tries to entertain Astrid between combat sessions by offering to spar with her. Unfortunately, this does not usually end well for poor Merida, as even the most hardcore and badass of tieflings is prone to getting dumpstered by an 8-foot-tall barbarian orc with an axe. Astrid is, nonetheless, grateful to have someone to fight.

Rapunzel, Elsa, and Moana will humor Hiccup and attempt to actually play the main plot. Meanwhile, Jack, Merida, and Eugene are a DM’s worst nightmare. They constantly derail the damn campaign to fuck around, cause mayhem, and do inane shenanigans in every. Damn. Town. They go to. Anna is kind of a wildcard–she’ll typically go with whatever group looks like they’re going to be doing something more interesting. Astrid will go along with whichever group is more likely to get into a fight–which, often as not, is Jack and his posse of terrible Chaotic Neutrals (who have definitely pissed off a number of NPCs into attacking them).

As the campaign goes on, Elsa and Eugene become the beleaguered Party Mom and Dad. Both are quite aggravated by this–especially poor Eugene, who just wanted to play a morally-gray charming rogue who stole everything and got away with it and then accidentally ended up caring about these idiots he got stuck with.

Anna initially joins the campaign because she has a planet-size crush on Hiccup, and inevitably is the one who dragged Elsa into it too. Being the hopeless romantic that she is, Anna writes a love interest into her backstory. Hiccup eventually has the party run into said love interest, and Anna is overjoyed. He starts flirting with her as the love interest, and it’s easily the best 30 minutes of Anna’s life.

Moana and Elsa also give Hiccup pretty detailed backstories, and he works in little subplots for them. Moana gets to bring water back to a dying part of the jungle in the middle of a draught, while Elsa gets to go on a whole sidequest to explore her family history and how they came to be sorcerers.

Jack, Merida, and Eugene also give Hiccup fairly elaborate backstories, but Jack’s and Merida’s are like 99% memes and Dumb Shit. Hiccup tries to give all of them backstory-related plot hooks, but inevitably any hooks he provides are either stabbed, robbed, or frozen. Honestly any plot hook offered to these 3 will be all but spat in the face of and tossed off a cliff.

The one relevant part of Eugene’s backstory is that he and Rapunzel decide they used to be partners in crime before the campaign started. Rapunzel would infiltrate and scout out places he wanted to rob as small, unobtrusive animals (her preferred Wild Shape is a chameleon) and later distract the guards as a bunny or kitten while he went in and took every gold coin in sight. In return, Flynn Rider would bribe builders to not develop into Sunlily’s forest. Rapunzel and Eugene partly came up with this For Funsies, but also it was Rapunzel’s sneaky way of tricking Eugene into having prior connections in the party so he’d be less likely to betray them. It works pretty well–although the entire party is protective of Cinnamon Roll Sunlily, Flynn is certainly especially protective of her.

Astrid does the absolute bare minimum as far as backstories go. She is literally just here to smash stuff, slice people, and beat some fuckers up.

Rapunzel has a backstory, but she’s typically so invested in the main plot and the other party members that Hiccup rarely needs to bring it in to keep her engaged. She’s highkey the party emotional rock, and probably the only one keeping them all together.

On that note, Rapunzel’s character is the ONLY one who can get Jack’s character to take the plot even REMOTELY seriously. Like he’ll be dicking around in the nearest tavern challenging the nearest orc to a drinking game, and Rapunzel will come in and ask him to help them on a Main Plot Quest. And he’ll be like “come onnnnn I’m having funnn” and she’ll be like “Jack pleeeeeease?” and you just. Can’t resist Sunlily’s puppy dog eyes. At all. Also, whenever Sunlily is genuinely threatened, any silliness immediately goes out the window and Jack Frost is OUT FOR BLOOD.

For better or for worse, Rapunzel is not immune to being looped into Jack’s shenanigans. Occasionally if either Merida or Eugene have a particularly hare-brained scheme she’ll go along with it, but by and large Jack is the most successful in convincing her to temporarily abandon the plot and cause mild mischief with him. They once wasted half a session creating an elaborate “ice theme park” for some squirrels in the forest.

Hiccup tries to get Merida to play the main plot by eventually having there be no more sexy female NPCs to seduce in the towns they go to. Unfortunately, this backfires–Merida just hooks up with Moana’s character instead. When asked to roll for how good the lay is, Merida gets a nat 20–and thus her character and Moana’s character end up hooking up regularly throughout the rest of the campaign.

Hiccup introduces a few Wise Old Mentor-type NPCs to guide the party throughout the campaign. While Rapunzel, Elsa, Moana, and Anna actually try to listen to them and take their advice, Merida, Jack, and Eugene absolutely refuse to take them seriously and mercilessly play pranks on them.

At one point, Hiccup gives the party the option to attempt to tame a group of wild dragons and use them as mounts. They all have to make animal handling checks. Anna, Rapunzel, Elsa, and Moana pass. The rest of the party fails, with Jack and Eugene crit-failing. Hilarity ensues.

Hiccup ends up bringing back Anna’s backstory love interest as an NPC regular. Anna thinks he’s just being a good friend and a good DM and trying to incorporate her backstory as much as he can, but really, he just wants an excuse to regularly flirt with her. He hardly has the balls to out-of-game.

Merida comes out as gay toward the end of the campaign. Everyone in the group is extremely supportive, of course, but everyone is also like “Merida…with the amount of barmaids you’ve banged…and the amount of times you and Moana’s character hooked up…this isn’t exactly surprising.”

Hiccup actually finds a way to use Jack and Elsa’s same-concept-opposite-execution characters to the plot’s advantage. He decides one of the main villains will have a prophecy saying he’ll be taken down by a powerful ice mage. The party manages to fool this guy into thinking this ice mage is Jack, and sends Jack to fight him. As soon as the villain sees Jack, he’s like “WHAT??? THIS clown???” (word has absolutely spread throughout the land of Jack not using his ice powers for anything besides mildly annoying trolling). Naturally, the bad guy lets his guard down after thinking he’s going to fight this literal joke, and then Elsa crashes in from the side and absolutely dumpsters him.

Jack tries to defeat the final boss by just annoying him so much that he leaves. Unfortunately, he just annoys him so much that he attacks Rapunzel’s character. Jack’s just like “oh HELL no” and attacks with absolutely nothing held back. Turns out he’s pretty terrifying when he’s not using his magic for Dumb Antics.

During the final boss of the campaign, the Big Bad tries to one-shot Moana’s character, and Merida’s character super theatrically jumps in front of her to take the blow instead. Rapunzel just barely manages to heal Merida’s character, but it’s a really close call. During all this, Merida is like “ah shit...maybe I’m NOT just in this to get fantasy-laid.” After the fight’s over, her and Moana’s characters have a big dramatic love confession and share a Big Damn Kiss in front of everyone. It’s pretty epic.

After the final session of the campaign, Merida drags Moana outside Jack’s apartment and sputters and trips over her words for a solid minute before she finally gets out that through all this nonsense...well...maybe it’s not just in the game that she thinks Moana is hot. Moana just gets this HUGE grin on her face and says “c’mere, Leeroy Jenkins” and just pulls Merida in and kisses her. Cue the rest of the party barging in on them. Merida and Moana freeze, and there’s a moment of terrified silence...and then the entire party starts cheering them on like “took you long enough!”

The entire rest of the party could detect the sexual tension. Literally all of them.

But Eugene is like “HA, THIS MEANS IF WE DO A SEQUEL CAMPAIGN I’M WINNING THAT BET! BECAUSE YOU’RE GONNA BE DATING MO’S CHAR AND THUS NOT ABLE TO SLEEP WITH ANY MORE BARMAIDS!”

By the epilogue session, Jack and Rapunzel are dating. Merida and Moana are also dating. Hiccup and Anna STILL haven’t figured out why they’re so prone to spending half the session flirting when Anna’s love interest shows up, and Hiccup STILL hasn’t figured out why he likes to have Anna’s love interest show up so often. Bless their souls. Maybe they’ll figure it out next campaign...?

Damn I actually really like this...maybe if people like it I’ll do some incorrect quotes or a drabble or something??? Or maybe some HCs from next campaign???

[readbythestarlight]

c2e128

On hi Gale!

"Boyfriend? Ugh!" xD

I NEED THE SHIRT IMMEDIATELY

Oh lord here we go.........

Oh Jesus okay here we go

I’m worried about Caleb here. Just, being faced with Trent like this, in this place especially, and being back in a corner

[[MORE]]

Goddddddddd

SHIT

god I’m shaking

Counterspell counterspell

God RUN YOU FOUR RUN

Someone hug him

FUCK OFF IKATHON

HOW IS HE DOING THIS

Using message?

"I don’t know if I’m ready to talk to you yet"

No babes he’s not talking to you

Fuck you Trent

Veth being surprised they actually succeeded Lol

Give one to Essek plz

Attunment sigh

Veth honey do you not have a key to the house

Fuck OFF TRENT

I’m going to crawl through my screen and tear him apart

Oh no

Now the assembly is gonna be after them for sure

Carrots are immune to scrying it’s canon

Also fuck they shouldn’t have gone to Veth’s house

Caleb... babe......

Fuck now he knows about the

Oh no

"I have my theories about where you might have learned" don’t TOUCH my other boy Trent I WILL personally fuck you up

And he knows about Vess too great

YES be worried for Essek

Please check on him

Caleb is shaking so bad

Babe

And now if something happens to Essek Caleb will blame himself for that this is NOT what I want

Okay good, good, reassure him

"I am responsible for your family. And yours. And you."

"And I worry... that I am... the very thing he told me I was."

"Not yet. Not yet."

"You did good. You got what we needed."

Good, reassure him.

Oh no she did talk about her mom to the guard fuck

"He was looking at you with puppy dog eyes?"

"Oh my god Fjord he loved me so much."

Jester is gonna send her to the Gentleman xD

"I think we’ve done enough damage today." Taliesin xD

Okay seriously huh Caleb please

Also I’m Shadowgast trash so I hope something comes from this

One to all family members and then one for Essek good

Hn I get Fjord’s point tho being near the ocean isn’t good for him personally

Veth and Yeza are literally just so wholesome and cute

Divine Intervention okayyyy

Artagan left her on read lol

Awww Yasha talking to the Stormlord

Whatcha so nervous about, babe?

Jester trying to help Yasha out is so sweeeeeet

Artagan is SUCH a dork I love him

Oh no

It’s THOSE crystals

Caleb is fucked UP right now y’all need to take care of this boy

God this is fucked up fucking fuck

Genuinely when is it going to be time to kill Trent

Taliesin xD

I miss whispers pandemic will be over WHEN

Awwwww god I love their reunions

Oh god poor Marion

I hate this

"What have you done?"

Noooooo

"I’m not angry I’m just—I just worry about you."

I’m crying it’s fine

We stan supportive family members

Uncle Caleb

Fjord you dork xD

Be careful Blud buddy

Oh Fjord, what have you done you goober

Anyway I’m nervous about those two

I need to sleep ugh

Anyway can we briefly talk about how Veth is apparently planning to leave the group after Aeor

Not that I can blame her but that’s gonna be SAD

Anyway I’m glad they’re gonna take a calm "let’s talk to them" approach

"Making’ my way downthestairs" I love how they always burst into that song

Ooooo Jester going in disguise as mom, that could be risky

Stop fucking calling him Bren

Wait

Astrid??

Is it Astrid and Wulf??

Holy shit and they’re WARNING him??

Oh god oh god oh fuck

This is bad

"Trent is, um... frustrated" Trent can choke

"And I hope we don’t meet again."

They’re helping him and I’m baffled yet glad

Oh man... poor Jester, she’s gonna be so upset with herself for mentioning her mom

I know Cad doesn’t go for it, but I’m gonna forever believe Wulf has a bit of a crush on Cad

They’re helping Caleb specifically which is giving me some hardcore feelings

Blud should go with them too if he wants, he can help keep Marion safe

Also god I can’t wait for the Gentleman to open the door and see all this happen

Who is it who is

Oh another one?? How are Astrid and Wulf going to lie about being there if there’s a

Mother FUCKER I KNEW IT

Veth honey be careful

Don’t go in don’t go in they WILL catch you

Okay good

Time to GO

I hate the idea of splitting up but time to go time to GO

God I’m so fucking stressed

I hope Yussah is willing to help them

And NOW we go to break

L: "we’ve played this game for years! It’s make believe! I’m so scared!!"

They can track Yeza, and also probably Marion

Please Yussah be willing to help them I’m begging

Wentsworth is a good boy at least I like him

How is Marion?? Is she okay?

Oh sweetie

Hardcore agoraphobia poor dear

Caduceus you’re such a sweetheart

Also Cad is scared too he sounds so tense

He’s in the

He’s out of town?

HE’S GONE DRAGON HASNT HE

He

He went to the WHAT

I love that he’s trying to help I guess but that makes me vaguely nervous

Aw not dragon, what a shame

Oh sure Jester there’s no way THAT could go wrong

If y’all get Yussah’s tower fucked up he’s gonna be so pissed

Using unknown magic is probably not your smartest choice rn

Wait can’t Beau just read any language? I thought that was a monk thing

Okay okay okay

I really wanted Blud to come with them :(

Plane shift oh dear

Y’all don’t need to plane shift how will you get back again??

Can y’all then get back after resting?

And it’s not even big enough for all of them

And also like they could just end up getting stuck fighting things they don’t have spells for

Caleb shut the fuck up

Thank you for putting that down immediately, Cad and Veth

Sewers gross

Why don’t you all just go to the sewers and hide out and get to a ship and go

I don’t like splitting up I don’t like splitting up I don’t like splitting up!!

Like they’d be split up for at least a few days right? And I don’t like it

Hide them in the ball???

I was thinking that, Veth! Not that it’s a good idea but I just so hate splitting up

fuckfuckfuckfuckfuck I’m so STRESSED

oh fuck

FUCK

NO

Who is at the DOOR

Right it’s like reverse Narnia

No Matt now you’re backwards xD

They’ve all confused themselves now with the time ball

So you’re gonna send the family to the fire plane instead??

Fuck fuck fuck GO

Yussah’s gonna be so pissed if someone breaks into his tower because of them while he’s looking for answers for him

Aw Fjord’s and Jester’s little goodbye “be safe” moment

Fuckfuckfuck

I’m so fucking stressed

Can y’all believe the happy fun ball has become such a useful thing?

FUCKING NO

NOOOOO

NOOOOOOO BITCH

Goddddddd

I can’t breathe

“It’s like Rolf in Sound of Music” except Rolf betrayed them

I’m SCARED y’all god like I’m literally so stressed out

Is it Thursday yet??

God I hope Yussah is safe and that the Assembly doesn’t hurt him or steal any of his stuff

And Wentsworth too

[olympusnerd]

Medea

I recently reread the story of Medea and I don’t know why but she really resonated with me. I know she doesn’t count as a Greek hero, what with all the murdering she does, but you have to admit, Medea has a way of captivating people as made evident by the fact that centuries after her death we still know her name. 

My husband bought me a new computer with Adobe Illustrator and while I haven’t used art software in over fifteen years, I gave it a go and I’m not too disappointed with my first try :D

So here is the unofficial cliffnote of Medea’s long and (in some instances savage) story: 

For back story, Medea is the daughter of King Aeëtes, the ruler of Colchis (an ancient city located around present day Georgia) who coveted the Golden Fleece (literally golden sheep wool). Jason and the Argonauts were tasked to find the fleece for King Pelias of Iolcus (Jason’s asshole uncle who made him go get it in order to inherit the throne that was rightfully his). 

So when Jason arrived to Colchis, he was given three tasks to conquer in order to win the golden fleece: tiling the land with two fire breathing bulls, plant seeds that would grow Spartanoids (inhumanly malicious soldiers spawned from Ares son who would fight to the death), and defeat the Spartanoids. He would then have to retrieve the fleece from a tree in the Grove of Ares that was guarded by a dragon. 

Distraught over these seemingly impossible tasks, Jason prayed to the goddess Hera for help. She in turn sent word to Aphrodite who used Eros to shoot Medea, the king’s beautiful daughter and devoted worshiper (and sometimes also the daughter) of Hekate (Titaness goddess of witchcraft), so that she would fall helplessly in love with Jason and help him with his tasks. 

You read that right, little cherub boy came and turned Medea into a lovesick puppy for the doofus Jason so that he could win the Golden Fleece because even the gods knew Medea was a badass. 

She helped him with every one of his tasks, but once her father realized it, they had to get out of dodge. Medea used her powers to make the dragon (yes a MOTHER FUCKING DRAGON) fall asleep so Jason could get the fleece from a tree it hung on. (Some depictions have Medea soothing the dragon while Jason gets the fleece, some have her soothing it then having to help Jason get the damn thing out of the tree cause women have to do everything themselves. Honestly how she didn’t see he was useless at this point is beyond me)

They go on their merry way when Medea sees her father Aeëtes’ ship sailing after them. Jason can tell the ship was going to catch the Argos and was preparing to battle when Medea said there was no way they could win hand to hand with her father, so she did what any good lover would do: she sacrificed her prepubescent brother, chopped him into tiny bits, and dropped him into the ocean at intervals for her father to stop and pick up ( :,) I did mention she’s not a hero, right?)

So she has Jason sail up a river away from Colchis, long story short, they get to  King Pelias of Iolcus with the Golden Fleece. He acts like he doesn’t even know they had a deal and, spoiler alert, apparently straight up murdered Jason’s parents and little brother (though some sources say he just told Jason’s father that he died and his father actually killed them all in grief but this makes for much better story telling, just assume Pelias is that big of a dick cause he is). So Medea, who has basically been brought to a whole new country just to chase dick, says don’t worry, I’ll get you some revenge and proceeded to go straight fucking Savage. 

Medea befriends Pelias’s daughters and one day mentions “Oh, it sucks your dad is so old, he’ll probably die soon. My father is older than yours but looks our age.” The girls beg to know how this could be, and Medea, sharp, lovely, conniving as she was, showed the girls a spell. She took an old ram, slit it’s throat, chopped it up, then threw it in a giant pot with herbs. She chanted, waived her arms and boom, baby goat popped out of the pot. 

The daughters excitedly go find Pelias, chop him into pieces and perform the ritual, only to find that their dad (surprise) was dead dead. 

I’m talking Dead AF. 

Pelias’s son tells his sisters they were fooled and Jason and Medea are chased out of Iolcus and landed in Corinth. They lived there for years, had three (sometimes two in different references) sons and lived happily ever after. 

Except they didn’t because remember, this is Greek Mythology and gods are involved so no one can be happy XD

Turns out Jason gets the hots for the daughter of the king of Corinth and they are set to get married. 

Yes, after all this shit Medea has done for Jason (cheated at her father’s orders, murdered her brother, abandoned her home, saved Jason and his Argonauts from certain death at least three times, reaped vengeance on his uncle, bared him children) and this mother fucker up and says, “Naw, you see, you’re just a tool by the gods for me to get what I needed to get in order to be a king. So I’m gonna merry ole faceless Corinth princess and now our sons will be kings, isn’t that rad?” 

“Super rad,” Medea would have hissed behind a fake smile. 

It was in fact not rad, as Medea then takes it upon herself to send poison laced garments to the happy bride-to-be and she died an especially excruciating death (as well as her dad cause he tried to save her, told y’all, my girl be ruthless). 

So in a final fuck you to Jason, Medea then murders their children (which I admit, puts a big pin in all the badassery she does, but in the play Medea by  Euripides she struggles with this because she says she loves her children and it will hurt her to kill them, but ultimately decides she is more angry at Jason and that she has to do it because if she doesn’t, someone down the line will. 

“I know indeed what evil I intend to do, but stronger than all my afterthoughts is my fury, fury that brings upon mortals the greatest evils.”

Like, shit, okay, I get it. You’re pissed. Do as you please. 

Again, Medea isn’t a hero, but I find it hard to completely condemn her actions. She gives her all to Jason, only to have him choose someone else who can give him the throne he always wanted while telling her that it was at a god’s behest that she help him. In some ways, I imagine that being used like that is what probably hurt the most. But it’s cool, she ends up ending the play by riding in a golden chariot pulled by MOTHER FUCKING DRAGONS that her grandfather Helios sent for her and her dead kids, so I mean? She also ends up becoming the queen of Athens, but shit goes wrong there, too, but that’s a whole other thing that makes her like the original shitty step mom (save for all of Zeus’s illegitimate kids Hera keeps trying to kill). 

And Jason is crushed to death when a piece of wood falls off his ship, so good riddance. 

It’s interesting that this story is originally Jason and the Argonauts, a tale that’s supposed to illustrate the bravery and resilience of our ‘hero’ Jason, but really as Euripedes makes evident, it is Medea who the most resilient and in the end, of all the characters, though she may not have an explicitly happy ending, she isn’t punished by the gods for any of her actions while Jason literally dies by the ship he sailed on these ‘heroic’ escapades. 

About the artwork: It took me three days and a lot of cussing, I mean YouTube videos, to get this where I liked it. I feel like it uploaded a little blurry but overall I’m content :)

[botanicallyinclinednerd]

Merlin season 5 episode 5:

Before I even get started I wanna say this episode scares me because this is one of the episodes my friend said I'd definitely cry at. So either there is some major magic hate on Arthur's part in front of Merlin, or someone fucking dies. The episode description is not helping matters. Though the more I think about it, the more likely option A looks (please be option A, I am not ready to say goodbye to one of my babies yet)

Okay. Actual episode time:

Why hello Mordred, little murder boy

Merlin is very jealous and its a problem.

Its so interesting when ever they say some knight or another has died and the boys all look sad, like Leon, Percival, and Arthur do here, and this knight has literally never been show or mentioned on screen before. Like who the fuck is Sir Ranulf and why have we never heard of him before now?

Mordred is doing his best and is so eager to please, how can I hate him even with what I know?

Poor bean, he doesn't realize they're hazing him

You know, merlin really should have tried harder sooner to make Arthur see that Magic isn't fucking evil. Hes had so many chances

See, that tragic thing is: Mordred could very well become one of my babies before the season is up, which is cruel as hell concidering what I know. He's a very sweet boy rn.

Light banter that is still dark because Merlin has become a storm cloud

Omg THATS the context to "I haven't seen you smile these past three days"??????

See, I dont trust the Dragon at all. Nurture the boy, dont fucking alienate him!

UNDO THE FUCKING MAGIC BAN YOU DUMB FUCK

Oh, Percival, you dumb fucker

Why are all my babies being dumb. I stg if this is why....

I dont believe that for a second. Merlin is a sorcerer, yeah he's shit at healing spells, but if he tried to save Mordred he could

Did you hear that? That was the sound of my heart shattering into a million little pieces

MERLIN. WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK!?

THIS. THIS IS WHY THIS FUCKER SHOULD NEVER GET TO SEE THE FUTURE. MERLIN, THIS IS WHY YOU DONT HAVE NICE THINGS

Im legitimately so upset. This is shit writing right here, thats what I'm boiling it down to. They wanted to ensure they could end it with Arthur's death so they made Merlin blind to his fucking destiny and let fear rule him.

Im crying. Like actually sobbing over this.

IT SHOULD HAVE BEEN DIFFERENT. MERLIN DID THIS. HE DID THIS. AND IT WAS ALL FOR NOTHING.

[randomnameless]

Also remember Jahn literally saw all of his comrades killed during the fiercest battle of the Scouring and as far as he knows from Zephiel, is the last true dragon, PERIOD. That would make someone distrustful. Imagine a Vietnam vet stranded on an island for years..whom also thinks they're the last person of their race alive and the enemy still wants to kill them, you try talking sense to them. Short version, Athos circumstances were much difference than Jahn's.

Well, so Jahn doesn't consider Idunn to be a true dragon?

Because he and his comrades destroyed her soul or because she was a divine dragon, thus not a "regular" dragon like him?

I doubt a Vietnam vet could send illusions from his stranded island to look for someone, but supposing he can because he drank some sort of radioactive Dr Pepper -

He thinks he is the last person of his race alive, save for the mute and recluse old woman living near, whom he and his division, uh, abused to the point where she lost her soul.

Roy, a young vietnamese man, asks him to tell him his story. Jahn doesn't see why not, and accepts if Roy proves himself worthy, that is manages to survive and capture 6 flags.

If Jahn thinks Roy is out to kill him, he would not be bothering with this farce and would have killed him before telling him his story, but maybe he is really bored - the old broken woman sadly doesn't talk a lot. Also, earlier, Jahn met Zephiel, an older vietnamese man, who didn't want to kill him on spot. So he knows they're not all trying to kill him.

-Roy listens to the vet's story, and the vet even manages to explain that everything he was taught in his highschool was bullshit. He still manages to slip some disgusting takes like "you vietnamese people are truly odd and don't think like we do".

At one point, Jahn fully embraces his nauseabond views and says "vietnamese and american people can never live together in harmony, the gap between our species is impossible to fill."

Roy, in 2021, tells him it is nonsense, everyone can live together, he went to Chuck'n'Cheese in Dubai where he met both people from those different states eat the same junk food, and in his group, one of his love interest has an american and a vietnamese parent!

Jahn pulls out his rifle gun : "Rubbish… I have no intention of listening to such nonsense."

***

If you just TOLD Athos about Arcadia rather than SHOWING it to him, I'm 100% sure he'd react just like Jahn did. Note he specifically mentions trying to deny what his eyes showed him, Jahn never went to Arcadia.

This is where I disagree anon, I don't think Athos, if someone told him about Arcadia, would answer with "I refuse to hear any of this" and "Now, enter my domain. Let us see who has more power!"

Maybe he would not believe it. "I can't believe it," "It can't be real", "This must be a mirage", "Is it a trap?" or "You're lying".

Not "I don't want to hear this".

can we add to the irony that athos was traveling with a dragon fucker and didn't want to believe dragons and humans could live together? granted, i'm not sure nergal told him about his wife and kids

***

For someone always talking about Edelgard's prejudice against lizards, you're remarkably pro-Scouring/Anti the sole shellshocked survivor of the war that not only destroyed his entire society, but basically wiped out his race.

Ah.

First of all, Edel's prejudice reeks of racism, and I am in no way defending of being pro anyone who says "X must be erased because of their race".

Jahn's side lost the war, yes, in a way, he is a victim of the Scouring.

On the other hand, clinging to his old prejudiced beliefs and refusing to listen to someone telling you that maybe everyone can live together, to the point of using force against him by making six altars with illusions before asking him to fight is... being too stubborn, to put it lightly.

Also, the war didn't destroy Idunn.

Jahn and his comrades did.

He know Idunn is still alive, and knows Divine Dragons ran away - so he knows he is not, technically, the Last Dragon. But Idunn isn't a Dragon anymore, because Jahn and his comrades destroyed her soul.

If you want to compare to FE16, Rhea, despite being a survivor from a human led genocide, still believes in them and cares about them. She might have doubts that they can all live together, but she doesn't want to eradicate them.

Macuil is the closest dragon, he is sour and hates humans for what they did. He doesn't tell his story to Claude and pals - he tells them to fig off his lawn, and when they don't, he becomes violent.

But Macuil wasn't seen attacking a human who said "humans and nabateans were both brought to this world, they can understand each other". Macuil didn't crush Rhea's crest stone to turn her in a mindless beast to birth infinite White Beasts to fight against humans.

Edel and Roy are complete opposites - both Edel and Jahn are prejudiced and don't want to change, Roy wants everyone to live together.

Yes, Jahn might be justified in thinking Roland wants to kill him, thus react negatively to his words, but Roy isn't Roland.

Rhea, Seteth, Flayn and Indech all know Catherine isn't Charon, and don't want to kill her for what her ancestor did, nor fear that she will transform them in a portable knife like Charon did with their sibling.

In short : I'm not dissing on Jahn because he is a dragon and a victim of a war that saw a majority of his race disappear -

I am dissing on Jahn because he is prejudiced and refuses to reconsider that dragons and humans can live together, to the point of killing (if he could) the naive idiot who came to his lair, listened to his story and came up with this answer.

I am also dissing on him because while he thinks dragons don't have emotions, save for very specific ones, he does not seem to regret or mocks the pity given to Idunn, another naive idiot he and his allies destroyed, to the point where Jahn himself doesn't consider her a dragon anymore.

[idrewbedraggledbreaths]

Sorting Daenerys Targaryen and Jorah Mormont with the sortinghatchats system (GoT verse)

I didn’t want to write this post before I finished my Killing Eve sortings (basically Carolyn and Konstantin), but I’m stuck with them, so I decided to revisit an old fandom instead with a new approach. My take here is possibly an outsider’s take, given that I haven’t interacted with this fandom for a while, save for a few close friends I made in it. Now, bear in mind this sorting system IS NOT the original HP system, it is simply based on it. It sorts you into two houses. Your primary is you WHY, your reason to be who you are, what you believe in. Your secondary is your HOW, the way you act and approach life. Below is a little tl;dr of what each of them are (I’m using the animal terminology that’s being used in many blogs, by the way. If you know the houses, you know what each animal is supposed to represent).

Lion primaries are intuitive and guided by their moral compass, which is very strong (doesn’t mean what they believe in is in fact good or correct) and Lion secondaries are the people who charge straight at something, regardless of whether they will come out of it unscathed or not.

Snake primaries value people. Not any person, their people. They will go to hell and earth for their people to be safe and happy, which can get kind of self destructive. Snake secondaries improvise much like Lion secondaries, but they tend to adapt to situation and shapeshift their way out of problems.

Bird primaries also value right and wrong like Lion primaries, but they build their systems with external information and observation, not from their gut feelings. That means Bird primaries change a lot with time, because their ‘rights’ and ‘wrongs’ change. Bird secondaries collect. Skills, tools, random knowledge, they delve deep and acquire as much of them as they can, not because things are useful, but because it’s fun.

Finally, Badger primaries are also people-persons, but their communities are much broader than a Snake primary’s. They value people, tradition, cultures and so (but not every Badger sees everyone as people, so there’s that). Badger secondaries are the hardworking types in the sense that they cultivate things, they invest in them and even become them.

You can develop models of each house according to what you find useful or what society has instilled in you, but when push come to shove, the models aren’t the real you. All of these houses can burn, meaning their essence is somehow scared away from them due to trauma, depression, societal pressures, etc. That means a Lion stops trusting their instincts, a Snake no longer feels like they’re able to protect their people or their people are better off without them, a Bird loses faith in their systems and a Badger closes themselves off from their communities and adopts a smaller circle of people. Burnt houses can look a lot like each other. For more info, check out the tags. 

Daenerys

Double Lion, no doubt (for most of the show). Dany knows what’s right, she feels it in her bones. She never tries to rationalise her decisions and she won’t usually budge, even if she is presented with a more rational plan. None of her advisors have really convinced her to do anything, they might have pushed her to do what they wanted, but if she had her way, Daenerys would only ever listen to her own heart. She needs people around her to help her not make impulsive, brash decisions(because of her Lion secondary that I will get into), but she definitely doesn’t need - and doesn’t want - a moral compass, hers works just fine. She was burned as hell in the first episodes of the first season, mostly because of Viserys’ horrible influence, because he had robbed her of a purpose, of her truth. Drogo also stifles her primary and secondary for a while, but he eventually gives her some space to be herself. When she unburns, she unburns fast. ‘Not a Queen, a Khaleesi’ is pretty much Day gong ‘yeah, I can do things my way, I can be my own person with my own values and my own self.’ I think from there on, her quest to liberate 1) take back the Iron Throne 2) liberate Slaver’s Bay and ‘Break the Wheel’ just show how much she is focused on a big quest that is not explained by reason, by her need to form a community or by the influence of someone in her life. She does it because that’s the Right Thing ™ to do, and that’s Lion primary in a nutshell. Another thing that points towards Lion primary to me is how she just won’t take criticism and specially betrayal well (not that anyone does, but Dany is particularly unforgiving most of the time). Lion primaries are particularly shaken when someone they admire doesn’t have the same moral standards as they do, because deep down they like to think they know what’s ‘good’ and ‘true’ (oops my Snake primary who doesn’t really get Lions is showing), so if you don’t follow them and their beliefs, you must be doing something wrong. This is why Dany is so fucking pissed at Jorah when she finds out he betrayed her. She is also devastated true, and she misses him, but her ideals and her ‘truth’ stop her from seeing things from his side ad from forgiving him until he has proven himself worthy. Her reaction to betrayals tie in to the fact that she is a MASSIVE Lion secondary. She headbutts her way into things and her liberal use of Dracarys is proof of that. That’s not to say she doesn’t think or plan or listen to her advisors, but when push comes to shove, homegirl ACTS. Fuck the consequences, I have three dragons, fucking try me. Don’t tell me that climbing on Drogon in the fighting pits and burning the Khals were calculated decisions. Burning the Lannister army wasn’t a calculated decision. She leaves the planning to the people around her. This is something I struggle with regarding Lions, but I have to admit they are much more prone to seizing opportunities that us Bird secondaries (because I do have a Snake model but it is utter shit). 

Now, in seasons 7 and 8, she starts burning again. She gets to Westeros, where people aren’t flocking to her side like they did in Essos. Daenerys lets herself be swayed by Jon’s pretty little speeches that sound very Lion, sound very true to Daenerys, but guess what? She is fucking betrayed by everyone. The people she loved are killed, her children are killed (and the whole ‘I will take what is mine’ thing indicates that she might have a Snaky primary model, after all, she does some things because of what she claimed as hers, be it people or the Throne), she is left absolutely alone, so she burns, she loses faith in herself, starts doubting her actions and her instincts and no one is there to help her unburn safely, so the way she does it is destructive, as it often is with Lion primaries who don’t have guidance in order to regain their trust  their instincts and their selves. To me, the KL incidence is her primary going ‘You fucking left me behind, you fuckers, now you are going to see that I was right and fuck the consequences’. Her primary takes a turn for the worse with the help of an impulsive secondary and she ends doing anything to reach her end goal, similar to Albus Dumbledore and his disregard for human life as long as Voldemort being defeated is concerned. 

Jorah

I have no doubts whatsoever that Jorah is a Snake primary. I know the fandom likes to sort him into Hufflepuff when using the traditional sorting system and while there’s no doubts he is a loyalist to the bone, Jorah’s loyalties are much narrower than a Badger primary’s would be. Before he meets Daenerys, he wants to go home and make up with his family, because they are the ones who matter. Not his reputation, not the North, not Bear Islad itself, the Mormont House. Before that still, he does literally anything to keep Lynesse happy, including doing things that are against the law. This utter devotion to certain people are what makes him a Snake primery to me, a paricularly self destructive one. He starts worrying about the fact that he berayed Daenerys when he ‘adopts’ her into his circles and more so when she goes from being in his outermost circles to being the one person his Snake primary is attached to. Daeerys is everything to Jorah. Does he persoally care about freeing slaves or generally following her morals? No, he does it because it is importat to her and he wants her to see he is worthy of her attention (I, another Snek, still don’t kow if I like Florence + The Machine so damn much because I liked a girl who was into FATM or if my Bird secondary saw her taste for FATM and went ‘OMG ME TOO LETS TALK ABOUT THAT’ and the primary just said ‘huh, that’s legit. We’ll worship her from now on’, so yeah, us Snakes do that. On a side note, I never worked up the courage to ask her out, though). That’s why he goes batshit when she banishes him. He doesn’t burn, which means his primary is so strong it wasn’t fazed by being ast out of her circles; no, he is hell bent on getting back into her good graces and if he has to sacrifice his life fr that, so be it. 

Now, when it comes to secondary, I’d say Jorah’s a Lion secondary too, even though he has a lot of models he picked up with time. Models are useful, models get you out of bad situations, but they’re not who you really are. Jorah wans to be a Bird secondary when he’s around Daenerys, he wants to be the careful planner who looks ahead and ensures she is successful and he also needs a Snake secondary model, because his life demands that he twists and turns himself to fit different situations, but deep inside he is a Lion. His most honest moments are the moments when he just does it, no thoughts head empty. Did he have a solid plans when he kidnapped Tyrion? Fuck no! Did he truly know what he was doing when he decided to fight in the pits? Fuck no! Did he think before he charged at the wights and saved Daenerys in Winterfell? Fuck no! His head was probably just going ‘my Daenerys is in danger let’s punch first and see what happens later’. He’s not like Littlefinger, who plans everything ad is so fast at analysing and changing plans he looks like a Snake. His models make him seem like the opposite of Dany, like a Bird to a Lion, brains while she is brawn, but when she is in danger, Jorah charges. 

What the Jorleesi shippers do is take Dany’s Lion primary that is so focused on a quest and show her that she can also include people in her big aspirations. The gut feeling that is so characteristic of Lions is already inside her, all she would need is to put it into words, which isn’t necessarily the strongest suits of many Lions (that’s a Bird thing). Since most of their dynamics inevitably lies on Jorah’s models regulating Dany’s secondary, there’s not much point in ‘taming her Lion’. Jorah stays the same. The fandom looooves his Snake/Lion, specially since us Snakes tend to be too hard on ourselves. A self-loathing Snake who is also a stupid brave Lion secondary? Yes. They are both stupid brave. Also just stupid. Just talk, you two, for fuck’s sake. Get over your Lion, Daenerys, and talk to him, his Snake won’t allow him to bother you too much. 

[tenshindon]

Zamasu or stinky fruit man Turles for the character meme? 👉👈

I will do both because thye’re my favorite villains HAHA

Zamasu

Give Me A Character and I Will Answer:

Why I like them:

He had... such good potential.... He had such an INTERESTING set up too!! Also he’s over dramatic LMAO LIKE SHUT UP YOU LITERAL FRUIT

Why I don’t:

Again, phenomenal potential gone to waste.

Favorite episode (scene if movie):

Love the episode where he becomes gooey Fused Zamasu- like it’s just a perfect metaphor for how corrupt he’s become and how far he’s fallen as he feebly attempts to justify his actions and fight for his cause.

Favorite season/movie:

I MEAN. HE ONLY SHOWS UP IN ONE SAGA SO.

Favorite line:

"Once again mortals imitate the gods, as they always do... And why is that? Because the gods are great? Because the gods are too beautiful?" -Dragon Ball Fighterz; Fused Zamasu’s introduction quote against Vegito 

He’s so dramatic shut UP you pompous prick but he Also appeals to the nihilistic part of my soul I Am Attempting To Bury :))

Favorite outfit:

It’s manga-exclusive BUT I adore his North Kai outfit!! It’s really neat and I wish we could see it in color!

OTP:

Him and himself?? I don’t know LMAO that’s the only person he could love.

Brotp:

Him and Gowasu- obviously canon divergent, but I just love the potential to explore their relationship and to see all of the possible outcomes. Especially the outcome where Gowasu was successful in tutoring Zamasu and they become close, thus leading Zamasu to lashing out against Goku Black when Gowasu is inevitably killed.

I guess what I’m trying to say is I Really Like A What If Scenario LMAO

Head Canon:

Not really a headcanon but kind of I guess? But Zamasu doesn’t like civilized mortal lives but has an appreciation for nature and non-destructive lifeforms (or at least is willing to tolerate them).

Unpopular opinion:

I don’t know if this is an unpopular opinion but Zamasu’s arc deserves a rewrite because I Have Said It Like Three Times Now there was so much potential and there was so many interesting concepts!!

A wish:

See above so I don’t repeat myself for the fourth time <3

An oh-god-please-dont-ever-happen:

Keep Zamasu dead I swear to the heavens if you fuckers somehow bullshit him back into existence I will do a backflip.

5 words to best describe them:

Misguided deity obsessed with perfection

My nickname for them:

Fruit Boy

Turles

Give Me A Character and I Will Answer:

Why I like them:

He’s literally just evil Goku that’s so fucking funny to me. Also he’s just unapologetically evil like why is he like this <3

Why I don’t:

I don’t have anything against him he’s just an asshole and he’s proud to admit that LMAO- what a fun guy.

Favorite episode (scene if movie):

Him spinning Gohan around in the air like an American football will never Not be the funniest thing to me.

Favorite season/movie:

He appears in One Movie :)

Favorite line:

I haven’t watched the Tree of Might in years so I don’t remember anything he specifically said :))

Favorite outfit:

His Saiyan armor but With The Cape!!!

OTP:

No one really oops

Brotp:

AGAIN no one, really.

Head Canon:

I don’t really have any HC’s for my man sorry Turles :(

Unpopular opinion:

I don’t think there are ANY opinions about him honestly--

A wish:

It’d be hilarious if he came back into canon and the whole episode was just Turles running around town being a dick in the name of Goku- that’s all I could ever want. He never does anything too bad (okay he can level One (1) city) and after the gang realizes Turles is Not Goku Turles just leaves with the promise to come back (but then he never does).

An oh-god-please-dont-ever-happen:

Don’t bring him back and have him be lame I don’t know that’s all I could ask for.

5 words to best describe them:

Fruit-obsessed Goku-lookin’ headass

My nickname for them:

Fruit Man, Turtle, and Evil Goku!

[kaleidoscopic-quiddity]

HEROES: RISING!! RAMBLINGS & SPOILERS

Literally got out of the movie, got home, showered & sat down to type this out so its probably incoherent lol, I’ve tried to keep my notes in chronological order though 

THE ANIMATIOOOONNNN!!! THE ANIMATION FOR THE WHOLE DAMN MOVIE WAS S O GOOD BUT ESPECIALLY THE FIGHT SCENES & CGI USE 

HAWKS!!!!! we finally got him animated AND Nakamura Yuuichi’s voice for him was perfect 

Endeavor vs Dabi..... 2!!! TodorokiTouyaSayWhat

Honesty?? the hero commission and UA agreeing to send a bunch of trainees off to an isolated area with no support at all from pros?? total BS lol like I get it the movie needs its set-up but goddamn there’s no way anyone actually would’ve thought that was a good idea in-universe 

Another complaint: there was too much M*neta, that’s all 

EVERYONE IN CLASS 1-A REALLY GOT TIME TO SHINE!! seeing everyone doing lil jobs around the island was adorable

Kiri freaking out over making a baby cry had by giggling lmao he’s so cute 

Sero sectioning off the beach,,  I Love The He 

Momo was so cute this entire goddamn movie like wow I did not realise I loved her this much, best girl 

MAHORO AND KATSUMA!!!!! so freaking cute and I LOVED Mahoro’s sass 

Also loved all Mahroro and Bakugou’s interactions, king of explodokills gonna throw down with an eight year old lmao 

Speaking of Bakugou: Him constantly yelling ‘Don’t give me orders’ only to then follow said orders?? iconic 

ALSO ICONIC: Midoriya basically fucking tackling him to stop him from getting into it with Mahoro, the cain instinct everybody 

Nine has a hella cool design and like I CANNOT be the only one who thinks he looks at bit like the first OFA user AND Nana Shimura, ESPECIALLY with his hair down 

He looked cool but he’s a fuckin stupid villian, ‘I want a world where the strong rule over the weak’ bitch what world do you think you’re living in now??? 

Not to be a villain-fucker on main but Shigaraki was rlly hot in this movie 

I straight up GASPED when Nine’s blue dragon-y thing got Bakugou, I literally thought he was gonna get cut in half 

Momo and Denki literally exhausting their quirks to keep the islanders safe.... IM PROUD OF THESE FLEDGLING HEROES 

SHOJI!!!!! Shoji was SO good this movie!! gentlest giant ever! the ammount of times he shielded Mahoro & Katsuma with no regard for himself :’)) 

Mina and Tokoyami was an unexpectedly cool team-up, Dark Shadow going sicko mode when Mina gor hurt? I FELT that 

Todoroki ‘Petty’ Shouto voice: My father told me to push my body to its limits with my fire & then use my ice to cool myself down,,,,, I’m gonna do the exact opposite and almost definitely give myself hypothermia 

Seriously!!! the way he just kinda curled up on the ground after defeating Chimera??? that shit hurted 

Red Riot is on the scene! And once again I was blown away by how freaking awesome unbreakable is 

Uravity and Cellophane?? did you mean team up of the motherfucking century??? 

Uraraka pushed herself so goddamn hard she was AMAZING, that last stunt with the logs holding back the literal WAVE of boulders? plus fuckin ultra 

Aoyama was also hella plus ultra, king has an incompatible quirk that gives him severe stomach pain but he still pushed himself so far past his limits

Momo, on the verge of collapse, quirk exhausted: Hey everyone I made two whole goddamn canons 

Seriously where’s that post about how Momo loves canons despite their impracticality, this is getting ridiculous 

Using Kaminari as a freaking lightning rod,, jfc 

Everyone in the cinema lost their SHIT at Bakugou and Midoriya reaching for each other,, Midoriya saying ‘It’s fine if it’s you’ I was C R Y I N G 

Bakugou kicked Midoriya out of the way of one of Nine’s blasts, he could’ve grabbed him or yelled at him to dodge but no, he decided on  kicking him out of the way 

The cain instinct strikes again 

Seeing all of the OFA predecessors animated?? seeing Midoriya in that grey-scale with the orange flame just like All Might at Kamino?? YALL ;-; 

‘This is... the final Smash. Goodbye One For All. Thank you’ 

Bakugou finally fucking got to say ‘detroit smash’. god bless 

Nine literally summoning A Whole Fucking Tornado TM only for Midoriya and Bakugou to punch said Whole Fucking Tornado TM into submission, I can’t 

I thought Deku was gonna use Black Whip in this movie??? I really guess they were trying to avoid as many manga spoilers as possible 

Might+U during the final confrontation with Nine,,,, good fuckin use of the song 

Actually, the whole soundtrack was brilliant, Hayashi Yuki is a fucking genius 

All Might holding Bakugou and Midoriya’s hands, thanking OFA’s predecessors, aaaaaAAAAAAAAA

‘Win to save and save to win, with that you can become the ultimate heroes’ 

SPEAKING OF THAT ^ Bakugou being the one to save Mahoro whilst Deku goes in for the attack on Nine?? character growth babey 

The callbacks to Kamino,, ‘You’re Next’,, the United States of Smash,, All Might is the best don’t @ me 

Bakugou not keeping OFA and not even remembering he had it was a total asspull but I’m willing to write it off as ‘Oh well the movies are only semi-canon anyways also Plot Armour’ 

Bakugou calling Sero by his name,, Bakugou letting Kaminari live after calling him ‘Bakugou no Kacchan-kun’,,, the team up to take down Mummy, ‘Kirishima is the only person Bakugou’s actually friends with’ WHERE?? 

Deku telling Katsuma ‘you can become a hero’! we’ve come full circle and it made me fucking CRY 

Also,, the way Katsuma wants to be strong hero who can beat up any villain??? and the way Mahoro is a protective person who was literally willing to give up her life for her baby brother??? ‘win to save and save to win’??? the fuckin PARALLELS ya’ll 

Bakugou and Midoriya are brothers don’t @ me I know I’m fucking right 

I didn’t entirely understand what Katsuma’s quirk actually IS??? ‘cell activation’ means fuck all lmao 

Todoroki’s FACE when Endeavour was hugging him, like literaly boi had almost frozen himself solid but he still somehow managed to look more disgruntled dealing with his dad 

IIDA REALLY GOT TO STEP UP!! he and Momo taking charge and delegating tasks?? Iida going in BY HIMSELF to distract Chimera? Iida using Torque Over??? IM SO PROUD :’)

Speaking of Chimera what the fuck even is his quirk? at first I just thought he had a mutant-type quirk then I was like ‘oh cool it’s actually a transformation-type’ then he started shooting his fucking mouTH BEAM and like isn’t that an emitter??? how the hell can he do all that with Just One Quirk 

Nine: ‘There can only be... one leader’ 

Shigaraki, disintegrating him: ‘Yeah and it’s me bitch’ 

the future king has arrived,,, 

In conclusion: platonic bkdk rights, dadmight is canon, I would die for Mahoro & Katsuma, go beyond plus ultra! 

[shidoukanae]

YGO! Questionnaire

Tagged by @cipher-wise​

Favorite series:

My favorite series based on what I watched and enjoyed would have to be Arc-V!!! It's honestly the series that got me to adore YGO when previously I'd seen YGO as, and I chilidishly quote, "uncool". Everything about Arc-V is pretty much wonderful: Yuya's presence as a "everyone MUST be happy" kind of character in a plot that discusses themes of war, revenge, and despair is absolutely refreshing (especially when Yuya's ideals of happiness are stripped from him and made a mockery of by, *coughs* one of my favorite characters in the franchise *coughs*). 

I love how the four Yuu boys are a wonderful combination of "protagonists" (/anatagonists) and how they each play off of each other's weaknesses and strengths, often acting as mirrors to each other in their individual dimensions while having amazing interactions (Yugo and Yuri, anyone? Yuri and Yuya?).

I admire how the endgame plot is a perversion of Yuya's ideals: he gets what he wants, showering happiness upon all, but that "happiness" is corrupted into the notion of entertainment. While Yuya seeks to provide people with smiles and laughter, to give them hope to work together through tough times and to stay strong in the face of adversity, his "counterparts" in the endgame are really good at acting as Yuya's mirror: showing that his style of performing can also be used to appease the bloodthirst of one's own self and that happiness can be corrupted into self-deserving power.

...Hard to put that into exact words without spoiling a lot of things but, gosh, let's just say that Yuri and ____ are the perfect mirrors to Yuya in terms of what his entertainment dueling style is meant to be.

The plot over all is pretty good! I won't lie and say it stands strong all the way throughout the story but the first half is amazing and there are some pretty strong episodes in the second half (Yugo and Rin, the parasite episodes in general, Yuri Yuri YURI). I can definitely say that the humor is there, the characters are amazing (if nothing else, watch for the Yuu Boys, the Bracelet Gals, and Shun versus Sora!!) and having come into the show around episode 104, I was pleasantly surprised by the trip Arc-V brought me and how it played with its protagonist, giving him hope, kicking him down, and toying with his mind - just like the way a warzone might to any idealistic individual.

In terms of other series, I like VRAINS but only up to like episode 19 (or the end of the Data Bank arc). It had potential and I kept hoping it would get better but the plot was constantly floundering, there are plot holes abundant (sewer monsters, ugh), character development is inconsistent not to mention very shallow, VRAINS has some of the best side characters but they're kicked to the curb by a bland protagonist and a villain that could've been so much cooler but they made him a sympathetic mess.

...I have a lot of gripes with VRAINS but, if it were to ever be rewritten with clear goalposts and plot twists in mind (not to mention development on ideas like Charisma Duelists because at the end of the show I still have not a fucking clue what a Charisma Duelists is or was) I would say it has potential to become my favorite series but Arc-V clearly beats it for me in every category lmao.

Zexal’s also really good too!!! I don’t get all the hate behind it because it’s actually really interesting and engaging (also IV’s definition of fanservice is literally the only type of fanservice I will ever accept) and I think I’ve even cried a couple of times during the course of the plot which is like,,, shocking considering it’s not a show I thought I’d cry over (I cried in Arc-V too but goddamn does tiny Yuya just want to make you tear up lmao). This show is really good emotionally and it’s literally so stupid how Kaito carries a lot of the early and middle game of the show yet most of the meat of the plot doesn’t begin to unravel until the second season.

Also, if you ever want to watch a show of 100+ episodes that is so masterfully written that there is foreshadowing for stuff in like episode 130+ on EPISODE ONE, please watch this. Literally there are so many hints of what is going to happen in the future in the early episodes and you won’t really be able to tell what those hints are until you’ve finished the show but goddamn when you go back and rewatch things it does indeed feel amazing how much foreshadowing they threaded into the show without you ever knowing...(please don’t search for spoilers if you intend to watch this. I went into the show knowing some spoilers tho not all and, while I was still pleased by what I watched, I honestly can agree the show is A Lot Better without knowing ANYTHING)

Favorite Protagonist: Yuya. For sure, out of all the series, Yuya. 

He’s a refreshing protagonist, especially considering he shines in a world of war and despair. He’s also someone who you empathize with right at the start and want to hope in, especially since he is the “happiness” in a word of “madness” and “sorrow”. He’s not someone out to save the world (not really, anyways), but his actions touch on the lives of others anyways, giving people in a hope in a world that is otherwise cruel and heartless. Also, it really helps that he’s able to pull you into his world of “egaos”, making you believe in him and root for him despite how cheesy his ideals may or may not sound.

Also love how, despite being the centerpiece of “happiness”, Yuya isn’t allowed to always be happy :> Not spoiling plot related things but if you like protagonists going off the rails insane at times, Yuya’s definitely a fun protagonist for that!!!

Favorite Rival:

Kaito Tenjou!!! Literally the best rival in the series that I’ve seen. Everything about him is literally perfect ngl. From the way he’s chillingly introduced, with the spine-tingling whistles and cruel, almost merciless nature, to the way he slowly becomes sympathetic while also remaining a terrifying presence whenever he appears...I love him????

Favorite BFF:

Does Shoichi count? Because like...he’s Yusaku’s closest friend and ally in the series and I generally don’t pay attention to the other BFF’s in the other series (or at least, the ones I can recall bc I know in Zexal that Yuma has a whole group of friends lmao).

But I like Shoichi!! He cares about Yusaku a lot, is pretty damn cool as a sidekick hacker, his sideplot with his brother was actually honestly endearing and I loved the mystery about him. His early-game jokes w/ Ai to tease Yusaku were also a good laugh.

Favorite GFF: 

Not a girl friend forever for the main protagonist (although she like...lowkey confessed to him...though that plot really never went anywhere so I still don’t know what the fuck THAT was about) but,,, Ema Bessho,,

If y’all knew me back in my peak YGO days when VRAINS was airing,,, this gal was and STILL is my favorite girl of the YGO series. Even though she was pretty much done dirty imo I still love her (even despite considering she’s been made a damsel-in-distress at least three times, she’s only ever won one duel on-screen despite being supposedly good at dueling, ngl they could’ve done so much more with her but tbh she’s mostly just an asset to solve problems at whim and barely gets character development/does nothing but watch and spectate stuff late-game).

Even though she’s like...the unfortunate side character who’s probably meant to be more fanservice than interesting, in the first 19 episodes (and even the Revolver vs. her fight as well as the one time she meets Aoi IRL early-game) made her out to be a lot cooler and complex than she ended up being. I mean,,, a hacker gal who’s self-serving, cynical, and cold-hearted taking on the tasks of her (potentially ex) boyfriend while being really nice to his sister to the point she baffles even herself,,, we could’ve had a really unique and cool character to play around with here but instead we got...cool-ass character with potential to be something more reduced to a spectator with nothing better to do than idolize the main protagonist and have a plot with her brother that honestly detracted from her character more than it added to it imo.

Also Ema could’ve been a female Yuri but,,, nope,,, they decided she was better as a background piece instead TwT

Favorite Villain: Yuri.

Literally Yuri.

I could choose the leather jacket w/ fluff boi in a certain series because hot damn was that guy convincing AF that he wasn’t an evil psychopath (and even while knowing that he was, I still got fooled into thinking he was a good guy somehow omg) however,,, I’ve always held a love for Yuri and the way he’s been portrayed.

Despite ALWAYS being the bad guy, the show has always made this purple fucker into the most entertaining character on-screen. He even beats Yuya sometimes in terms of how entertaining he is - that’s literally how good he is,,

Also his facial expressions are amazing, he’s a VERY VALID threat to the main cast (and his creeper levels are not only off the charts but literally called out by the main female protagonist herself lmao), and he acts as the perfect foil to Yuya, battling not to entertain others but to entertain himself.

Also, he likes killing people.

No this is not a joke.

He literally likes killing people. And is pretty sadistic about it, too.

(^^^^ for those who don’t get the joke, “Fusion” is pronounced “Yuugo” which sounds similar to “Yugo” which is what,,, Yuri is making fun of,,, more context is needed of course but this is a Great Running Gag)

Favorite card:

I don’t know if it actually exists as an actual card but...that crystal dragon from the YGO movie with the glass pyramid. Blue-Eyes Shining Dragon...it’s really pretty...I love it...

Favorite Episode:

I’m...too lazy to search for names of these episodes but I can give brief summaries of them,,, because I can’t choose,,,

Arc-V: Shun vs. Sora (ALL episodes). Hot damn if you have never watched YGO but want to try and see for yourself why people like it: WATCH THESE EPISODES. I can’t explain how amazing these episodes are and, while I admit jumping straight into them might have you missing out on some important context (such as who Shun is or why Sora’s battle tactics lead to revelation) it’s honestly an amazing fight regardless. The battle starts off plain enough - there’s obvious tension, it seems like a typical fight of a battle royale, etc. - my god does the battle ramp up in emotional tension and promptly kick you in the gut with not only how blindsided you’ve been, but it also showcases just how cruel these “entertainment duels” can really get.

Any episode with Yuri. Literally any episode he’s in. 

I think this is like...episode 8 of VRAINS...but whenever it is that Akira hires Ema to find the reason why Aoi just...straight up got knocked into a coma. Literally this is my favorite episode when it comes to Ema. The way she makes fun of Akira even while aware of his situation,,, her cruel selfishness and desire for money bubbling to the surface, the way she confesses how she can’t be trusted willingly and still asks Akira why he’s hiring her,,, god I love this episode in terms of what Ema could’ve always been.

Episode 13 (/14?) of Zexal!!! This is the episode Kaito appears and when the show REALLY picks up. Kaito is a fun bastard of a rival and tbh I don’t think I’ll ever stop getting chills of him walking in, debris frozen in time all around him, as he approaches his victim, whistling an eerie children’s tune as he gets ready to close in for the kill,,,,

Favorite Deck to Use:

I don’t...really play the game itself but...I have used a couple of decks and I guess you can say I really love Raid Raptors??? First of all, those warbirds make really fun sounds I love ‘em in the anime but they’re also just fun to use in general (even tho I used a,,, very basic deck for them,,, I love them still).

Fusion, Ritual, Synchro, XYZ, Pendulum or Link:

XYZ bc it’s really the only summoning method I’m used to lol :P. Also XYZ loyalist I guess???? 

Years in fandom: roughly five to six years iirc? I mean, I was a fan of the early day YGO and watched it as a kid but not active enough to be in the fandom for it lmao. Also not in the fandom atm because Sevens lost my attention (it’s a good show!!! I’m just unfortunately more a fan of things with serious plots and darker themes and it’s hard for me to stomach slice-of-life shows that don’t focus on a mature and engaging plot). However, Arc-V and Zexal holds a special place in my heart (as does VRAINS, begrudgingly) and so I occasionally find myself wandering back to these shows like right now,,,