#and I’m about to become a literal dragoner fucker

[pricegouge]

Okay- so I’m thinking about elephant hybrids price and nik, I have become utterly obsessed with the two of them (and you) since reading the kiss kink holiday fic you did. Literally so good I reread it all the time btw. Anyways, elephant hybrids purely because of the fact that big men=big animal, and elephants have prehensile dicks, and I just think that nik and price would definitely put that talent to good use 🙂‍↕️🙂‍↕️

hi hi! first of all tysm! i'm so glad you liked it! that's one of those pieces i'm always gonna hold pretty near just cause i need that treatment so bad it's not funny lol

unfortunately i'm out on elephants specifically but if your reasoning mostly boils down to 'big + prehensile penis', allow me to spread some monster fucker propaganda? could make them half dragons, or symbiotes (ive been wanting to write a simon symbiote fic for everrrr he just fits it so well. but i know it would be a two cakes situation and idk who to credit cause i have a memory like a sieve)

or i know orcs dont normally have prehensile cocks but they do have tusks and are big and they can have any kind of dick we want when i write them lol

anyway lemme know if any of this catches your fancy instead 💛

eta: omg i forgot about yautja. who even am i?

[hiccupbutpurple]

Decided to start writing a story about Naga Viggo (and human Hiccup) and it’s slowly becoming literally every monster fucker story in existence and it’s low key really fun.

(And while doing this, I was looking at my list of ideas to try and work out how I wanted the more spicy scenes to go and ended up re-finding my ‘so you wanna marry Daisy’ dagcup fic that I completely forgot about with dragon Hiccup and Dagur trying to romance him after his boats got attacked, so he goes to Chief Astrid who sings the whole ‘so you wanna marry daisy’ and in my heart it is a musical number with Astrid dancing on the table and Berk cheering around her, and Dagur joining the dance (plus Heathstrid with Astrid telling Dagur that one condition of sharing Hiccup’s location is to make sure Heather knows she’ll stop by that night) but in the fic it’s just a convo cause idk how to write that lol. So that’s also fun and maybe I’ll actually finish it soon.)

Anyway, my main point is to complain about the fact that my my brain decide to wanna do monster stuff after Halloween, because of course it did.

Actually edit: I’m blaming @reallyprofoundkryptonite cause we’ve been talking about monster stuff which is probs (definitely) a reason why I started thinking about Naga Viggo ;)

[mayonaisalspray]

Do you have any tips for naming characters? I've been wanting to start a pokemon irl blog for like, a month and a half, but literally the only thing stopping me is that I can't name this stupid fucker. thank you!

Okay so. Idk if I’m the best person to ask because the way I name characters is genuinely just. Ace attorney names plus. But I’ll still take you step by step with how I do it

The names I choose basically always have some kind of meaning behind them. In most cases it’s pretty obvious what the meaning is (Trix is a mischievous kid who loves playing pranks for example) which works, but I like trying to go for a name with multiple meanings if I can (Yew is a ghost, yew trees are associated with death and rebirth, he was named by someone trying to become a pokemon professor, it also allows for making stupid mistaking yew for you and vice versa jokes). Bonus points if you can make it a pun

I’m not the best at explaining so I’ll just walk you through an example. When I’m thinking of a name I think about the character’s personality, traits, and narrative purpose first. In this example I’ll use a character I needed a name for, a small but magically adept black and green dragon like creature born from the spite of another person. Then I pick one word I think sums up the character decently. I think Spite works well.

Spite could work as a name (I’d probably corrupt the word to Spyte or something) but for simpler words I do one of two things. I either look for a synonym (Looking at the list I think Vex is good) or I look for common symbols of that word (Crow maybe, Spider is the better choice tho here imo). If the symbol is an animal or just a general kind of plant I look for specific species of that thing to see if there are any names I like there (I didn’t see anything I liked this time lol)

Then it’s just a matter of choosing the name you like most/fits best! Last names are a whole different beast honestly I just don’t give characters one unless it’s really important but most of the time it does just end up becoming an ace attorney pun name. (Trix didn’t have a last name until it needed one and I just said fuck it and made his last name Entreat)

Hopefully this helps and isn’t just word garbage LOL. Please feel free to ask again if you want more specific advice! Also I’d love to see what your blog ends up being, so if you’d like send me the blog name when it’s done :D

[mistleaneous-chaos]

Ok so I just completed the Fia questline and BOY do I have thoughts

Elden Ring Spoilers

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Ok so here we go:

1- Man Godwyn is made so much cooler by the implications of Lichdragon Fortissax, what with Fortissax literally going “I’m bouta fight Death” to let Godwyn die properly only to then fight so hard to no avail that he succumbs to it and becomes a Lichdragon like dude. You KNOW they were BFFs when that dragon fought death for his bestie

2- I’m still caught up by the Dark souls 1 references that is just- Godwyn’s new “form”. Because now not only is he the First Of The Dead (Demigods) like Nito, but now he has this sort of Witch of Chaos vibe where I think he’s in the roots?(Also the deeproot depths roots kept creeping me out and eventually I realized it’s because they lowkey looked like fingers grasping the buildings underground)

3- The fact that these fuckers introduced a fucking THIRD ETERNAL CITY WHEN WE BARELY KNOW ENOUGH ABOUT NOKRON AND NOKSTELLA BESIDES ASTELS AFFECTS IS JUST. THE AUDACITY.

4- Lhuthel the Headless’ description implies that their guarding of Godwyn until his revival allowed them an Erdtree burial. So does that mean that people know that Godwyn is the way he is now? Or do they all just know that he didn’t die a proper death and think he’s going to come back?

5- Golden Epitath’s description really makes me think that Miquella prayed for Godwyn to die a proper death, mainly because the description says “Lord Brother” and you can’t tell me that the boy who made his papa a boomerang incantation wouldn’t call his brother “Lord Brother” like c’mon.

6- Fia summoning Rogier FUCKED WITH ME. I WAS WORRIED THAT WAS ACTUALLY HIM FOR A SEC THEN I REALIZED SHE WAS PROBABLY JUST MAKING CLONES.

7- Lionel’s adoption of Fia is still hilarious because he really just saw her and went “Hmm. I believe today I will adopt an Undead Person!” And then did. And he even had time to go to the Radahn Festival!

8- This really does make me think that Godwyn’s death also had a hand in corrupting the 2 Fingers as well as The Shattering as a whole. Because his body is making deathroot and if you check the map you find it BELOW THE CAPITAL. He has a DIRECT SHOT TO THE ERDTREE. So the implications of Deathroot corrupting the Erdtree is absolutely horrifying and maybe why Grace is so fucky or why everyone’s going batshit(Not talking abt frenzied flame just the insane soldiers and shit wandering about, I will probably talk about the Frenzy another time)

9- This also makes me think that the Haligtree may have served a second purpose besides just being a vessel for Miquella’s Growth. I think it may have also been a replacement for the Erdtree or turned into one if Miquella had ascended, possibly to undo Godwyn’s corruption. This may not be true but just a thought

10- Man I thought Godwyn was like, some privileged little guy in the family who got killed in an assassination and that was it, but he turned out to be a diplomat who worked out peace with the dragons, only to be partially killed by people he didn’t know who was working with his half-sister who made sure he didn’t die completely, becoming this weird face and obtaining semi-omnipresence but also lacking any concrete method of communication, becoming a being of Eldritch Horror that nobody can communicate with and is permanently stuck in a state of Undeath… at least he’s got a cool area tho!

(Also I can’t WAIT To write the demigods reacting to him in my AU, that’s gonna be funny as hell)

[renfairewolverine]

I’m not gonna say that daemon is an idiot or some shit but I feel like some people wildly overestimate his scheming and underestimate his love of family. They also refuse to comprehend that 2 things can be true. He can be doing something Kinda Shitty for his own gain but also genuinely care about his family as he does it. He explicitly says to viserys he wants to work WITH him, to be by his SIDE. He wants power yeah sure but he’s not willing to knock off the family he loves for that. And he does love viserys and rhaenyra. That doesn’t stop him from being an absolute fucker but it does keep him from kinslaying or some shit.

When daemon took rhaenyra out sure there’s likely some level of Scheme there, which kind and how much is up for debate, but he also has talked to her and in general about his opinion that as targaryens they should be held to a different standard. Other women can’t be wild and fuck whoever sure, but rhaenyra should be allowed to. Just like he can, because she’s a targaryen.

Things like the targ incest and the valyrian tradition of polygamy are things that are deeply contentious in westeros all the way into the time period of the main show over a century later. Westeros is not cool actually with incest or polygamy. But when the dragon men have like 20 flying fantasy nuke monsters and you have like serfs with pikes you kinda make some concessions.

It’s why Jaime/Cersei is a HUGE DEAL on like every level and considered super fucked up meanwhile viserys and dany talk about marrying each other/the history of incest in their family like it’s normal. For them it is. The polygamy thing has fallen out of favor because even when you’re a royal chad with magic nukes you still gotta pick your battles sometimes and this was one of them. Also over time they just adopt more westerosi/faith of the seven ideals/culture as they move further from the age of the valyrian freehold and become Just Some Weird Westerosi Guys. But daemon is of the opinion that the westerosi can eat shit bc he’s got a Fucking Dragon so he can have 2 wives and fuck his niece. Which is what pisses viserys off so bad. Like DUDE THIS IS SO NOT HOW THE POLITICS WORK NOW. YOU CAN’T HAVE A SECOND WIFE DON’T FUCK UP MY DAUGHTER’S SHIT.

And he DOES want her, for personal and political reasons. Both things can be true. How sexually into her he is currently debatable given how ep4 went but he’s 100% the kinda dude to be possessive over the 2.5 people he actually likes and she doesn’t wanna be married off to Some Random Asshole??? Great! How about This Asshole You Already Know! And bam now he makes one of the only 2 real meaningful connections in his life like 100x more secure and close. Locking down a partner into a strained relationship with a baby scare energy from this shit. But ALSO it gets him a LOT of power. Marrying her wouldn’t make him king. she’s the heir, she’s still inheriting the political power no matter what. He’d be king-consort at best, which is a very toothless position for the most part tbh.

BUT it would put him as one of the CLOSEST PEOPLE TO THE MONARCH and he’s already like, her Favorite Person from day 1 which we see in ep 1 so he would absolutely have a lot of capacity to advise and sway her which is just as good as sitting the throne. People like otto and tywin show us the power of being the monarch’s personal assistant and daemon has already said he wants that. Like yes this is all VERY schemey. He’s Scheming. Daemon is Preforming A Scheme.

He can hold 2 motivations at once he has 2 hands. It can be Weird Interpersonal Targaryen Bullshit and Political Machinations Schemey Schemey.

But I see some people implying he’s like, tywin or tyrion or little finger levels or some shit and HOOOO BOY NAH. Things like the necklace he gives rhaenyra? It’s not a 5d chess manipulation. He likes rhaenyra. She’s His Person. So she gets Gifts. Because he just thinks she’s Neat. At that point he’s literally working under the assumption that HE’S THE HEIR. EVERYTHING POINTS TO THAT. It’s why there’s the whole small council shitshow after aemma’s death— NO ONE WANTS HIM TO BE THE HEIR. Giving his fave relative a gift is not him being a godtier schemer and Knowing Psychically with his huge gigachad brain that buttering her up now will be critical later to his Devious Master Plan™️.

He’s not stupid and he does plan and scheme a good bit. Turning the gold cloaks effectively into his own private army stationed in the fucking capitol is genius and a super sexy power move. But he’s also shown to be impulsive, reckless and heavily ruled by his emotions. His whole suicide mission in ep 3 is FUELED by spite and the NEED to do this all by himself for the clout. They literally SAY this dude would rather DIE than ask for help. He also thinks he can do pretty much whatever he wants because of who he is.

You cannot be a varys/tyrion/tywin/little finger level schemer and be impulsive or reckless or overly emotional. I’d say also say you can’t be arrogant to the point of hubris as well but that’s like 50% of how two of them died after VERY long careers as schemers so uh you kinda can. Daemon’s request for rhaenyra’s hand might seem like a Master Scheme— like “oooo that’s why he did this!!! He’s so clever!!!”. But like— polygamy hasn’t been done since maegor the cruel. Even ignoring Lore Stuff that’s not actively talked about yet in the show like maegor the cruel viserys makes the “we don’t do polygamy anymore” vibes clear— “you already have a wife”. Boom. Shut down in 1 line. You already got one dude knock it off.

Alicent’s reaction to these claims is a LOT of things and it’s coming from a LOT of places but there’s absolutely a lowkey Disgust vibe because incest is, despite what it might sometimes seem in The Dragon Show Extended Universe™️, not actually cool in westeros— or essos for that matter!!! The targs have the “freaky magic dragon blood preservation” exemption clause but it doesn’t mean people are cool with it!!! Alicent even has to say “I know it’s different for you” to like qualify her statements. Daemon saying “I wanna do two of the MOST CONTENTIOUS AND DISLIKED TARGARYEN TRADITIONS AT THE SAME TIME WHEN PEOPLE ALREADY DO NOT LIKE ME” is uhhhhhhh NOT A GREAT LONG TERM POLITICAL MOVE AT THAT MONENT IN TIME.

He could gain the same amount of power he’d likely get from marrying her or frankly MORE from being being rhaenyra’s hand. If he was truly a gigachad big brain 5d chess schemer then he’d actually be working super hard to make her feel like he was her biggest ally and supporter. Viserys is saying she’s his heir but not really properly training for it that we see on screen. He literally has her ushered out of the small council for having an opinion on the kinda issue she’d have to deal with as queen. Literally a PERFECT educational moment for her and she gets ushered out in the most aggressively patronizing way possible. Daemon would gain SO MUCH from swooping in to “help prepare his favorite niece for the crown” and making himself integral to her decision process, sense of confidence, etc. it’s pm what little finger does to sansa (tho they do a shit job showing that in the show even tho they INSIST it happened in s7/8 jsjxjdslls).

Daemon would literally be doing more to put himself in a super sexy powerful position by helping to hype up rhaenyra, solidify her power and popularity and make himself invaluable to her on a pragmatic and emotional level. But uh….. he doesn’t…… bc he’s Not That Good At Scheming. Daemon is not a schemer or politician. He’s closer to a targaryen jaime in terms of like, his political skills and shit. Not an incompetent and not unwilling to play like ned or jon was but uh, kind of a reckless jock with bloodlust for days and some Emotional Issues that make him kind of attention seeking and a thoughtless arrogant dickhead. He can navigate the world of schemers and politics reasonably well but if he could just take otto out back and beat his ass instead he would.

[just-mya-writing]

wasn't sure if you wanted it where reader is in a relationship with each boy, or if there's just a crush, so I did both cuz why not

Fem!Reader Casually Mentions she Masturbates in Front of the Boys

Kyle (if dating)

Bless this boy

He was picking you up with the plan to take you out to eat

You were running just a liiiittle late

But Kyle is on a schedule

No tardiness allowed

So you knew what to expect when you hopped into the gingers car

His expression a mix between annoyance and amusement

Melted into something sweeter as you kissed him on the cheek

He couldn't even scold you for being twenty minutes late

You clicked your seat belt in place as you should always do as he started the ignition

"So what took so long? Make-up? Getting dressed?" he oh so innocently asked

"Nah, I was masturbating" you jokingly responded

oh

oh dear god

Kyle's mind went blank and his brain shut down

You looked over at him when you realized the car wasn't moving

He sat upright, hands clenching the steering wheel, with his mouth slightly ajar

He was blushing

He was drooling

"...Kyyyyyle..."

"Ah...y-yeah?"

He seemed to snap out of it for a sec, turning to look at you while wiping his mouth

You smirked at him

"Whatcha thinking bout?" You asked with a devilish smile

Kyle turned away quickly, face becoming hotter

"I think...you know"

"Oh?" You smiled, unbuckling your seat belt "I do?"

He sunk down in his seat, hands still on the wheel of the motionless vehicle

"Mmhmm..." he bit his bottom lip as he glanced over at you

His entire face turned two shades of red as you moved from your seat to his

Prying his hands off the wheel and moving the seat back, you sat on your boyfriend's lap, staring into his glossy eyes

"I think you should tell me Kyle" you whispered, leaning close to his face. "What were you thinking when I told you I was masturbating?"

His hands were fidgeting at this point, trying to keep away from your thighs

"What would you think..." you continued, licking your lips mid sentence "if I told you I was thinking about you while I touched myself?"

That finally made him come undone

The two of you spent a long time in his car

Missing your dinner reservations entirely

(if not dating)

Flustering Kyle was so much fun to do

Also incredibly easy

You decided it'd be funny to make him turn as red as his hair while in class one day

"Hey Kyle! I know what I want you to get me for my birthday!"

"...your birthday isn't for another-"

You shut him up by thrusting your laptop in his face, showing him the site and item you were requesting

It was a dildo.

A large, black, twelve inch, pulsating, self lubricating dildo

It was on sale

He immediately started sputtering and looking away from the screen

"Wh-what the hell do you need that for?!" He squeaked

You tilted your head to the side in mock confusion

"To masturbate with...duh."

He immediately covered his face, trying to shake the dirty thoughts of one of his best friends away

You tried not to laugh as he almost groaned out your name

"Pleeeease stoooop" he pleaded, face peaking out just enough to see him blushing intensely

"..."

"...so no dildo?"

Stan (dating)

You were hanging out with your close friends one surprisingly warm day

You had convinced everyone to get some bubble tea

So now everyone was hanging around the local cafe, talking about literally nothing

Jokes, stories, and insults flew by so quickly, there was never a lull in the conversation

Stan had his arm around your waist

His grip tightening anytime you spoke and had all the boys look at you

Somehow someway, the conversation went on a huge tangent and y'all were talking about porn stars

Everyone was naming the hottest actors in multiple categories

You piped in with one you personally liked

The boys went quiet as you took a sip of your drink

"Uh...what?"

You looked at the boys curiously

Kenny had a weird smile on his face

Kyle was blushing

Cartman looked like his brain was malfunctioning

Your boyfriend started at you wildly

"You...you watch porn?" Stan asked hesitantly

"What the hell for?!" Cartman squeaked

"Sex education" you said deadpanned. "I watch when I masturbate! Duh" you rolled your eyes

"Oh ho hoo, you're a dirty little girl, aren't you?" Kenny smirked, earning a deadly glare from Stan

You just shrugged your shoulders

"Y-you can't just say stuff like that out loud!" Kyle sputtered

"How the fuck do you even do it without a dick?" Cartman argued

sigh

"Well you see, I usually start with just two fingers and-"

"Alright! That's enough, we're leaving now" Stan announced, grabbing the hand you were about to use to demonstrate and speed walking away

The comments your friends made behind you only made you laugh and cause Stan to walk faster

The blush on your boyfriend's face becoming more apparent, as well as the boner

(if not dating)

"Lalala, can't hear you, nope. I'm not listening..."

Stan was covering his ears, eyes tightly shut while you continued to laugh

"Awww, c'mon Stan. What's wrong with wanting to feel good?" You joked, bumping his shoulder

The two of you were relaxing on his couch playing video games

You didn't realize casually joking about masturbating to one of characters would cause Stan to break down, yet here you were

"Staaaaaaan, c'mon, we gotta finish" you laughed, trying to look at his face

He was definitely blushing

He grumbled incoherently, picking up his controller. Refusing to look at you as the game continued

...

"...I'd masturbate to that character too."

"Please! Why?!"

Stan couldn't exactly focus on the game anymore

Kenny (dating)

ohhhh man

This boy

He is personally offended if you touch yourself without him

You're just laying with him in your room

Actually, you're laying on the floor, while he searches for your "secret drawer" full of "secret toys"

You can't help but shake your head and joke with him

"I bet you have a purple dragon dildo" he snickered "and at least, like, three vibrators"

You laughed, nodding your head

"Oh wow, yup, you got me. I have a very large collection"

Hearing the sarcasm in your voice, Kenny looked over at you with a smirk

"Heh. Knew it"

He went back to his fake search, continuing to mess with you while you went along with it

"I can't believe I haven't even found a bottle of lube yet" he sighed, faking disappointment

"Yeahhh..." you mumbled, picking at your nails. "I used a lot of toys last night, you might wanna check under the bed"

When you didn't hear any response or movement from the boy, you looked up, angling your neck to look at him

His sad, upside-down figure looked back at you

Puppy eyes, lip out and quivering, he looked like a child that was just told they couldn't have any sweets

"...you masturbated...without me?" His voice raised an octave and he added a few fake sniffles "I thought you loved me..."

You held back a chuckle before turning to lay on your stomach

"I'm sorry baby, I was needy"

"I'm needy!" He exclaimed, throwing his hands in the air

"Awww, you poor thing..." you shook your head. "I'll remember that for the next time"

That made him perk up as he shuffled closer to you

"Next time? When is this illusive next time?" He asked, smile growing wider

You paused to think for a second, sitting up

"...you got condoms on you?"

"Duh"

Turns out that "next time" was a lot closer than either of you thought

(if not dating)

He also casually mentions masturbating

Frequently suggests you two masturbate together

Always laughs when you say it in front of the boys cause watching them freak out is the best kind of entertainment

You and him had a sort of friendly competition to see who could get the other flustered

You won when you described how you thought of him while you touched yourself the other day

was it a lie? the truth will never be revealed

Kenny.exe has stopped working

Congrats, you broke the town slut

Cartman (dating)

NOPE

This boy is too immature to even entertain the idea of you playing with yourself

He doesn't even understand female anatomy

He's never even seen you naked before

So when you oh so casually mention a certain past time of yours, his mind just goes blank

He can't even picture it

His sweet, darling, perfect girlfriend

Masturbating?

"Only dudes masturbate! What the hell are you lying for?!"

Bless your patience

You gotta explain

He doesn't even know where the g-spot is

He didn't even know what the clit was

bully him

next time he’s with the gang

he just obnoxiously goes, “hey fuckers, did you know my girlfriend masturbates??? isn’t that weird?” 

congratulations, guess what your friends are gonna be thinking about for the next forever three days 

(If not dating)

?

??

???

he’s

he’s just

why are you telling him this, why is he listening, why is he thinking

he still thinks girls have balls, like

why 

is personally offended each time you allude to it

[hiccanna-tidbits]

The RotBTD+ Gang Plays DnD! (Feat. my ships, sorry not sorry XD)

So highkey I’ve actually been wanting to do a “The Gang Plays DnD” type post for AGES now, but then I saw @hobie-brown and @ohlooksheswriting-wips do DnD AU posts for RotBTD, and then I was like “Ah shit, I really should finish mine, eh?” So thank you to both of you for inspiring me to get off my ass and actually write the post!!!

Hiccup DMs. He comes up with this super complex plot revolving around dragons (because of course) where the party has to dismantle this society ruled by evil knights who want to genocide all of the dragons. Imagine his chagrin when the party wants to do nothing but fuck around in towns and aggravate NPCs 90% of the time.

They usually end up playing at Jack’s apartment, mainly because Hiccup’s dad doesn’t really want a bunch of loud nerds yelling about 20-sided dice in his household while he’s trying to work, if he can at all help it. Jack’s sister regularly barges into their living room and roasts the fuck out of Jack and his friends for being such damn nerds and eats all of their DnD snacks they’ve set out. If they’re in the middle of a combat session, she always gleefully proclaims that they’re all going to die. While Jack is annoyed by this, the rest of the party finds it deeply hilarious.

Jack Overland plays the absolute mayhem warlock Jack Frost, who got his powers through making a deal with the archfey Prince of Frost and has absolutely no qualms about being an evil god’s mortal Sower of Chaos. He spends the vast majority of the campaign doing such useful things as creating ice slicks under annoying NPCs and freezing people’s drinks. He also plays a Tiefling because absolutely no one can talk this boy out of playing the creepy demon race.

Rapunzel plays a woodland nymph druid who is also the party healer (because of course she is). Her name is probably Sunlily or something else suitably hippie-esque. Whenever there’s downtime (or whenever the rest of the party is also dicking around, and she can get away with it), Rapunzel likes to go into the nearest forest and pick the best berries and nuts for the rest of the party. She also loves baking fruit pies and cooking the best nymph food for her companions when given the chance. Definitely the party Cinnamon Roll (every party has one!). She often will turn into cute animals to distract the guards while the party infiltrates a building.

Merida’s character is the party archer and general ranged weapon master, as well as a raging lesbian. Hiccup learns very quickly that any male NPC who tries to flirt with her will very quickly get impaled with an arrow. She can’t ever decide if she wants to be a ranger or a rogue, so she multiclasses in both for flare. She also plays a Tiefling, and continually insists that her character is both scarier and sexier than Jack’s. In combat, she either Leeroy Jenkins her way in with a sword and just starts slashing every which way, or just shoots 90% of the enemies with arrows before the fight even starts. There’s really no in between. She can get away with this because she’s highkey one of the party tanks, and consistently deals a shitton of damage.

Anna plays a human bard, basically having read over the class options and going “Wait, in this one I get to make stylish medieval music??? And wear dramatic and garish outfits and a dumb hat??? And cast wacky illusion spells??? And do silly little magic tricks??? And INSPIRE EVERYONE??? Hell yeah, I’m in!!!” She mostly uses magic attacks in combat (definitely favors Tasha’s Hideous Laughter), but occasionally when she’s out of spell slots she’ll just take to slamming enemies in the face with her lute. She also has WAY too much fun with Vicious Mockery, let’s be real.

Elsa, upon hearing Jack’s character concept, rolls her eyes so far up in her head she can see her damn brain, and vows to play his concept, but serious–solely out of spite. She rolls up a super OP elf Chaos Sorcerer, filled with lots of brooding angst about how uncontrollable her winter powers can get if she isn’t careful. She combines it a bit with Storm Sorcerer so she can create literal blizzards, and Hiccup ends up allowing it just because he thinks it’s cool. Although Elsa’s character is undoubtedly aggravated by the rest of the party’s antics, she starts becoming grudgingly protective of these idiots and can deal some pretty crazy damage when her companions are threatened. She also contains one of the party’s only brain cells.

Eugene of course plays dashing rogue master thief Flynn Rider. Although his high deception and lockpicking skills certainly come in handy, he’s the most chaotic neutral fucker you’ve ever met and will take any excuse to rob NPCs blind or cheat them out of every cent they have in a tavern card game. It’s nigh impossible to get him to cooperate with the rest of the party much of the time, and often Elsa’s character has to either bribe him with some of her family’s gold or threaten to freeze him to stop him backstabbing one or more party members. Eugene’s character forces Hiccup to add in many more heist plotlines than he originally intended. This delights Eugene immensely, and sometimes he goes a bit crazy planning elaborate heists.

Moana plays a sorcerer water genasi. She can control any body of water, but she has a special affinity for controlling saltwater (i.e. the ocean lol). She also requests an animal handling bonus, but only with marine animals, solely because she thought it would be funny. She’s also an ex-pirate who robbed a lot of wealthy merchant ships and freed their slaves back in the day, which Merida thinks is incredibly badass. Moana tends to get bored and unengaged when there are no bodies of water to play around with, so Hiccup ends up having to add a lot more lakes, rivers, and oceans to the campaign than he originally planned on. Moana also takes a sailing skill, and thus the party often ends up traveling by boat. Typically Eugene and Rapunzel will infiltrate and hijack it, and Moana will sail it. Moana probably contains the party’s only other brain cell.

Astrid plays a gigantic berserker orc barbarian who is never without his trusty axe. Astrid is hands down the party’s top tank, and unquestionably deals the most damage every combat session. Much like Merida’s character, Astrid’s character is absolutely a shameless power fantasy. Hiccup pretty easily picks up on this, but is too polite to say anything about it. Jack also picks up on this, but is hardly as courteous as their DM, and teases Astrid mercilessly. Astrid is not amused.

Rapunzel requests that her weapon of choice be a frying pan, her justification being that her character found a discarded one at the edge of a human village outside her woods and mistaked it for a highly-dangerous human weapon. Hiccup is like “…you know what? Fuck it” and rolls up stats for a goddamn frying pan. Jack has nigh-endless admiration for Rapunzel for choosing such a goddamn memey, absurd, yet oddly effective weapon and it definitely makes the poor boy even more smitten with her than he already is.

Eugene and Merida have a bet going on who can sleep with more sexy barmaids. Merida is currently winning, much to Eugene’s chagrin. She’s not even inherently better at seducing NPCs, she and Eugene have the same charisma stat–she just consistently rolls better than Eugene. Eugene is incredibly salty about this.

Anna and Elsa want to be sisters in-game as well, but neither want to change their race–so Anna decides her character was adopted. Hiccup and the rest of the party go along with it, mainly because there’s something deeply hilarious about a regular human bard being adopted and raised by a family of high-powered elf ice mages.

Astrid is absolutely the sort of player who tends to get bored and restless outside of fights, and tends to fidget and twiddle her thumbs waiting for the next combat session. Jack picks up on this, and purposely does more roleplay for longer just to piss her off. He’s also just a very dramatic fucker and highkey loves roleplay.

When she’s not causing mayhem around the town or sleeping with hot women, Merida tries to entertain Astrid between combat sessions by offering to spar with her. Unfortunately, this does not usually end well for poor Merida, as even the most hardcore and badass of tieflings is prone to getting dumpstered by an 8-foot-tall barbarian orc with an axe. Astrid is, nonetheless, grateful to have someone to fight.

Rapunzel, Elsa, and Moana will humor Hiccup and attempt to actually play the main plot. Meanwhile, Jack, Merida, and Eugene are a DM’s worst nightmare. They constantly derail the damn campaign to fuck around, cause mayhem, and do inane shenanigans in every. Damn. Town. They go to. Anna is kind of a wildcard–she’ll typically go with whatever group looks like they’re going to be doing something more interesting. Astrid will go along with whichever group is more likely to get into a fight–which, often as not, is Jack and his posse of terrible Chaotic Neutrals (who have definitely pissed off a number of NPCs into attacking them).

As the campaign goes on, Elsa and Eugene become the beleaguered Party Mom and Dad. Both are quite aggravated by this–especially poor Eugene, who just wanted to play a morally-gray charming rogue who stole everything and got away with it and then accidentally ended up caring about these idiots he got stuck with.

Anna initially joins the campaign because she has a planet-size crush on Hiccup, and inevitably is the one who dragged Elsa into it too. Being the hopeless romantic that she is, Anna writes a love interest into her backstory. Hiccup eventually has the party run into said love interest, and Anna is overjoyed. He starts flirting with her as the love interest, and it’s easily the best 30 minutes of Anna’s life.

Moana and Elsa also give Hiccup pretty detailed backstories, and he works in little subplots for them. Moana gets to bring water back to a dying part of the jungle in the middle of a draught, while Elsa gets to go on a whole sidequest to explore her family history and how they came to be sorcerers.

Jack, Merida, and Eugene also give Hiccup fairly elaborate backstories, but Jack’s and Merida’s are like 99% memes and Dumb Shit. Hiccup tries to give all of them backstory-related plot hooks, but inevitably any hooks he provides are either stabbed, robbed, or frozen. Honestly any plot hook offered to these 3 will be all but spat in the face of and tossed off a cliff.

The one relevant part of Eugene’s backstory is that he and Rapunzel decide they used to be partners in crime before the campaign started. Rapunzel would infiltrate and scout out places he wanted to rob as small, unobtrusive animals (her preferred Wild Shape is a chameleon) and later distract the guards as a bunny or kitten while he went in and took every gold coin in sight. In return, Flynn Rider would bribe builders to not develop into Sunlily’s forest. Rapunzel and Eugene partly came up with this For Funsies, but also it was Rapunzel’s sneaky way of tricking Eugene into having prior connections in the party so he’d be less likely to betray them. It works pretty well–although the entire party is protective of Cinnamon Roll Sunlily, Flynn is certainly especially protective of her.

Astrid does the absolute bare minimum as far as backstories go. She is literally just here to smash stuff, slice people, and beat some fuckers up.

Rapunzel has a backstory, but she’s typically so invested in the main plot and the other party members that Hiccup rarely needs to bring it in to keep her engaged. She’s highkey the party emotional rock, and probably the only one keeping them all together.

On that note, Rapunzel’s character is the ONLY one who can get Jack’s character to take the plot even REMOTELY seriously. Like he’ll be dicking around in the nearest tavern challenging the nearest orc to a drinking game, and Rapunzel will come in and ask him to help them on a Main Plot Quest. And he’ll be like “come onnnnn I’m having funnn” and she’ll be like “Jack pleeeeeease?” and you just. Can’t resist Sunlily’s puppy dog eyes. At all. Also, whenever Sunlily is genuinely threatened, any silliness immediately goes out the window and Jack Frost is OUT FOR BLOOD.

For better or for worse, Rapunzel is not immune to being looped into Jack’s shenanigans. Occasionally if either Merida or Eugene have a particularly hare-brained scheme she’ll go along with it, but by and large Jack is the most successful in convincing her to temporarily abandon the plot and cause mild mischief with him. They once wasted half a session creating an elaborate “ice theme park” for some squirrels in the forest.

Hiccup tries to get Merida to play the main plot by eventually having there be no more sexy female NPCs to seduce in the towns they go to. Unfortunately, this backfires–Merida just hooks up with Moana’s character instead. When asked to roll for how good the lay is, Merida gets a nat 20–and thus her character and Moana’s character end up hooking up regularly throughout the rest of the campaign.

Hiccup introduces a few Wise Old Mentor-type NPCs to guide the party throughout the campaign. While Rapunzel, Elsa, Moana, and Anna actually try to listen to them and take their advice, Merida, Jack, and Eugene absolutely refuse to take them seriously and mercilessly play pranks on them.

At one point, Hiccup gives the party the option to attempt to tame a group of wild dragons and use them as mounts. They all have to make animal handling checks. Anna, Rapunzel, Elsa, and Moana pass. The rest of the party fails, with Jack and Eugene crit-failing. Hilarity ensues.

Hiccup ends up bringing back Anna’s backstory love interest as an NPC regular. Anna thinks he’s just being a good friend and a good DM and trying to incorporate her backstory as much as he can, but really, he just wants an excuse to regularly flirt with her. He hardly has the balls to out-of-game.

Merida comes out as gay toward the end of the campaign. Everyone in the group is extremely supportive, of course, but everyone is also like “Merida…with the amount of barmaids you’ve banged…and the amount of times you and Moana’s character hooked up…this isn’t exactly surprising.”

Hiccup actually finds a way to use Jack and Elsa’s same-concept-opposite-execution characters to the plot’s advantage. He decides one of the main villains will have a prophecy saying he’ll be taken down by a powerful ice mage. The party manages to fool this guy into thinking this ice mage is Jack, and sends Jack to fight him. As soon as the villain sees Jack, he’s like “WHAT??? THIS clown???” (word has absolutely spread throughout the land of Jack not using his ice powers for anything besides mildly annoying trolling). Naturally, the bad guy lets his guard down after thinking he’s going to fight this literal joke, and then Elsa crashes in from the side and absolutely dumpsters him.

Jack tries to defeat the final boss by just annoying him so much that he leaves. Unfortunately, he just annoys him so much that he attacks Rapunzel’s character. Jack’s just like “oh HELL no” and attacks with absolutely nothing held back. Turns out he’s pretty terrifying when he’s not using his magic for Dumb Antics.

During the final boss of the campaign, the Big Bad tries to one-shot Moana’s character, and Merida’s character super theatrically jumps in front of her to take the blow instead. Rapunzel just barely manages to heal Merida’s character, but it’s a really close call. During all this, Merida is like “ah shit...maybe I’m NOT just in this to get fantasy-laid.” After the fight’s over, her and Moana’s characters have a big dramatic love confession and share a Big Damn Kiss in front of everyone. It’s pretty epic.

After the final session of the campaign, Merida drags Moana outside Jack’s apartment and sputters and trips over her words for a solid minute before she finally gets out that through all this nonsense...well...maybe it’s not just in the game that she thinks Moana is hot. Moana just gets this HUGE grin on her face and says “c’mere, Leeroy Jenkins” and just pulls Merida in and kisses her. Cue the rest of the party barging in on them. Merida and Moana freeze, and there’s a moment of terrified silence...and then the entire party starts cheering them on like “took you long enough!”

The entire rest of the party could detect the sexual tension. Literally all of them.

But Eugene is like “HA, THIS MEANS IF WE DO A SEQUEL CAMPAIGN I’M WINNING THAT BET! BECAUSE YOU’RE GONNA BE DATING MO’S CHAR AND THUS NOT ABLE TO SLEEP WITH ANY MORE BARMAIDS!”

By the epilogue session, Jack and Rapunzel are dating. Merida and Moana are also dating. Hiccup and Anna STILL haven’t figured out why they’re so prone to spending half the session flirting when Anna’s love interest shows up, and Hiccup STILL hasn’t figured out why he likes to have Anna’s love interest show up so often. Bless their souls. Maybe they’ll figure it out next campaign...?

Damn I actually really like this...maybe if people like it I’ll do some incorrect quotes or a drabble or something??? Or maybe some HCs from next campaign???

[readbythestarlight]

c2e128

On hi Gale!

"Boyfriend? Ugh!" xD

I NEED THE SHIRT IMMEDIATELY

Oh lord here we go.........

Oh Jesus okay here we go

I’m worried about Caleb here. Just, being faced with Trent like this, in this place especially, and being back in a corner

[[MORE]]

Goddddddddd

SHIT

god I’m shaking

Counterspell counterspell

God RUN YOU FOUR RUN

Someone hug him

FUCK OFF IKATHON

HOW IS HE DOING THIS

Using message?

"I don’t know if I’m ready to talk to you yet"

No babes he’s not talking to you

Fuck you Trent

Veth being surprised they actually succeeded Lol

Give one to Essek plz

Attunment sigh

Veth honey do you not have a key to the house

Fuck OFF TRENT

I’m going to crawl through my screen and tear him apart

Oh no

Now the assembly is gonna be after them for sure

Carrots are immune to scrying it’s canon

Also fuck they shouldn’t have gone to Veth’s house

Caleb... babe......

Fuck now he knows about the

Oh no

"I have my theories about where you might have learned" don’t TOUCH my other boy Trent I WILL personally fuck you up

And he knows about Vess too great

YES be worried for Essek

Please check on him

Caleb is shaking so bad

Babe

And now if something happens to Essek Caleb will blame himself for that this is NOT what I want

Okay good, good, reassure him

"I am responsible for your family. And yours. And you."

"And I worry... that I am... the very thing he told me I was."

"Not yet. Not yet."

"You did good. You got what we needed."

Good, reassure him.

Oh no she did talk about her mom to the guard fuck

"He was looking at you with puppy dog eyes?"

"Oh my god Fjord he loved me so much."

Jester is gonna send her to the Gentleman xD

"I think we’ve done enough damage today." Taliesin xD

Okay seriously huh Caleb please

Also I’m Shadowgast trash so I hope something comes from this

One to all family members and then one for Essek good

Hn I get Fjord’s point tho being near the ocean isn’t good for him personally

Veth and Yeza are literally just so wholesome and cute

Divine Intervention okayyyy

Artagan left her on read lol

Awww Yasha talking to the Stormlord

Whatcha so nervous about, babe?

Jester trying to help Yasha out is so sweeeeeet

Artagan is SUCH a dork I love him

Oh no

It’s THOSE crystals

Caleb is fucked UP right now y’all need to take care of this boy

God this is fucked up fucking fuck

Genuinely when is it going to be time to kill Trent

Taliesin xD

I miss whispers pandemic will be over WHEN

Awwwww god I love their reunions

Oh god poor Marion

I hate this

"What have you done?"

Noooooo

"I’m not angry I’m just—I just worry about you."

I’m crying it’s fine

We stan supportive family members

Uncle Caleb

Fjord you dork xD

Be careful Blud buddy

Oh Fjord, what have you done you goober

Anyway I’m nervous about those two

I need to sleep ugh

Anyway can we briefly talk about how Veth is apparently planning to leave the group after Aeor

Not that I can blame her but that’s gonna be SAD

Anyway I’m glad they’re gonna take a calm "let’s talk to them" approach

"Making’ my way downthestairs" I love how they always burst into that song

Ooooo Jester going in disguise as mom, that could be risky

Stop fucking calling him Bren

Wait

Astrid??

Is it Astrid and Wulf??

Holy shit and they’re WARNING him??

Oh god oh god oh fuck

This is bad

"Trent is, um... frustrated" Trent can choke

"And I hope we don’t meet again."

They’re helping him and I’m baffled yet glad

Oh man... poor Jester, she’s gonna be so upset with herself for mentioning her mom

I know Cad doesn’t go for it, but I’m gonna forever believe Wulf has a bit of a crush on Cad

They’re helping Caleb specifically which is giving me some hardcore feelings

Blud should go with them too if he wants, he can help keep Marion safe

Also god I can’t wait for the Gentleman to open the door and see all this happen

Who is it who is

Oh another one?? How are Astrid and Wulf going to lie about being there if there’s a

Mother FUCKER I KNEW IT

Veth honey be careful

Don’t go in don’t go in they WILL catch you

Okay good

Time to GO

I hate the idea of splitting up but time to go time to GO

God I’m so fucking stressed

I hope Yussah is willing to help them

And NOW we go to break

L: "we’ve played this game for years! It’s make believe! I’m so scared!!"

They can track Yeza, and also probably Marion

Please Yussah be willing to help them I’m begging

Wentsworth is a good boy at least I like him

How is Marion?? Is she okay?

Oh sweetie

Hardcore agoraphobia poor dear

Caduceus you’re such a sweetheart

Also Cad is scared too he sounds so tense

He’s in the

He’s out of town?

HE’S GONE DRAGON HASNT HE

He

He went to the WHAT

I love that he’s trying to help I guess but that makes me vaguely nervous

Aw not dragon, what a shame

Oh sure Jester there’s no way THAT could go wrong

If y’all get Yussah’s tower fucked up he’s gonna be so pissed

Using unknown magic is probably not your smartest choice rn

Wait can’t Beau just read any language? I thought that was a monk thing

Okay okay okay

I really wanted Blud to come with them :(

Plane shift oh dear

Y’all don’t need to plane shift how will you get back again??

Can y’all then get back after resting?

And it’s not even big enough for all of them

And also like they could just end up getting stuck fighting things they don’t have spells for

Caleb shut the fuck up

Thank you for putting that down immediately, Cad and Veth

Sewers gross

Why don’t you all just go to the sewers and hide out and get to a ship and go

I don’t like splitting up I don’t like splitting up I don’t like splitting up!!

Like they’d be split up for at least a few days right? And I don’t like it

Hide them in the ball???

I was thinking that, Veth! Not that it’s a good idea but I just so hate splitting up

fuckfuckfuckfuckfuck I’m so STRESSED

oh fuck

FUCK

NO

Who is at the DOOR

Right it’s like reverse Narnia

No Matt now you’re backwards xD

They’ve all confused themselves now with the time ball

So you’re gonna send the family to the fire plane instead??

Fuck fuck fuck GO

Yussah’s gonna be so pissed if someone breaks into his tower because of them while he’s looking for answers for him

Aw Fjord’s and Jester’s little goodbye “be safe” moment

Fuckfuckfuck

I’m so fucking stressed

Can y’all believe the happy fun ball has become such a useful thing?

FUCKING NO

NOOOOO

NOOOOOOO BITCH

Goddddddd

I can’t breathe

“It’s like Rolf in Sound of Music” except Rolf betrayed them

I’m SCARED y’all god like I’m literally so stressed out

Is it Thursday yet??

God I hope Yussah is safe and that the Assembly doesn’t hurt him or steal any of his stuff

And Wentsworth too

[olympusnerd]

Medea

I recently reread the story of Medea and I don’t know why but she really resonated with me. I know she doesn’t count as a Greek hero, what with all the murdering she does, but you have to admit, Medea has a way of captivating people as made evident by the fact that centuries after her death we still know her name. 

My husband bought me a new computer with Adobe Illustrator and while I haven’t used art software in over fifteen years, I gave it a go and I’m not too disappointed with my first try :D

So here is the unofficial cliffnote of Medea’s long and (in some instances savage) story: 

For back story, Medea is the daughter of King Aeëtes, the ruler of Colchis (an ancient city located around present day Georgia) who coveted the Golden Fleece (literally golden sheep wool). Jason and the Argonauts were tasked to find the fleece for King Pelias of Iolcus (Jason’s asshole uncle who made him go get it in order to inherit the throne that was rightfully his). 

So when Jason arrived to Colchis, he was given three tasks to conquer in order to win the golden fleece: tiling the land with two fire breathing bulls, plant seeds that would grow Spartanoids (inhumanly malicious soldiers spawned from Ares son who would fight to the death), and defeat the Spartanoids. He would then have to retrieve the fleece from a tree in the Grove of Ares that was guarded by a dragon. 

Distraught over these seemingly impossible tasks, Jason prayed to the goddess Hera for help. She in turn sent word to Aphrodite who used Eros to shoot Medea, the king’s beautiful daughter and devoted worshiper (and sometimes also the daughter) of Hekate (Titaness goddess of witchcraft), so that she would fall helplessly in love with Jason and help him with his tasks. 

You read that right, little cherub boy came and turned Medea into a lovesick puppy for the doofus Jason so that he could win the Golden Fleece because even the gods knew Medea was a badass. 

She helped him with every one of his tasks, but once her father realized it, they had to get out of dodge. Medea used her powers to make the dragon (yes a MOTHER FUCKING DRAGON) fall asleep so Jason could get the fleece from a tree it hung on. (Some depictions have Medea soothing the dragon while Jason gets the fleece, some have her soothing it then having to help Jason get the damn thing out of the tree cause women have to do everything themselves. Honestly how she didn’t see he was useless at this point is beyond me)

They go on their merry way when Medea sees her father Aeëtes’ ship sailing after them. Jason can tell the ship was going to catch the Argos and was preparing to battle when Medea said there was no way they could win hand to hand with her father, so she did what any good lover would do: she sacrificed her prepubescent brother, chopped him into tiny bits, and dropped him into the ocean at intervals for her father to stop and pick up ( :,) I did mention she’s not a hero, right?)

So she has Jason sail up a river away from Colchis, long story short, they get to  King Pelias of Iolcus with the Golden Fleece. He acts like he doesn’t even know they had a deal and, spoiler alert, apparently straight up murdered Jason’s parents and little brother (though some sources say he just told Jason’s father that he died and his father actually killed them all in grief but this makes for much better story telling, just assume Pelias is that big of a dick cause he is). So Medea, who has basically been brought to a whole new country just to chase dick, says don’t worry, I’ll get you some revenge and proceeded to go straight fucking Savage. 

Medea befriends Pelias’s daughters and one day mentions “Oh, it sucks your dad is so old, he’ll probably die soon. My father is older than yours but looks our age.” The girls beg to know how this could be, and Medea, sharp, lovely, conniving as she was, showed the girls a spell. She took an old ram, slit it’s throat, chopped it up, then threw it in a giant pot with herbs. She chanted, waived her arms and boom, baby goat popped out of the pot. 

The daughters excitedly go find Pelias, chop him into pieces and perform the ritual, only to find that their dad (surprise) was dead dead. 

I’m talking Dead AF. 

Pelias’s son tells his sisters they were fooled and Jason and Medea are chased out of Iolcus and landed in Corinth. They lived there for years, had three (sometimes two in different references) sons and lived happily ever after. 

Except they didn’t because remember, this is Greek Mythology and gods are involved so no one can be happy XD

Turns out Jason gets the hots for the daughter of the king of Corinth and they are set to get married. 

Yes, after all this shit Medea has done for Jason (cheated at her father’s orders, murdered her brother, abandoned her home, saved Jason and his Argonauts from certain death at least three times, reaped vengeance on his uncle, bared him children) and this mother fucker up and says, “Naw, you see, you’re just a tool by the gods for me to get what I needed to get in order to be a king. So I’m gonna merry ole faceless Corinth princess and now our sons will be kings, isn’t that rad?” 

“Super rad,” Medea would have hissed behind a fake smile. 

It was in fact not rad, as Medea then takes it upon herself to send poison laced garments to the happy bride-to-be and she died an especially excruciating death (as well as her dad cause he tried to save her, told y’all, my girl be ruthless). 

So in a final fuck you to Jason, Medea then murders their children (which I admit, puts a big pin in all the badassery she does, but in the play Medea by  Euripides she struggles with this because she says she loves her children and it will hurt her to kill them, but ultimately decides she is more angry at Jason and that she has to do it because if she doesn’t, someone down the line will. 

“I know indeed what evil I intend to do, but stronger than all my afterthoughts is my fury, fury that brings upon mortals the greatest evils.”

Like, shit, okay, I get it. You’re pissed. Do as you please. 

Again, Medea isn’t a hero, but I find it hard to completely condemn her actions. She gives her all to Jason, only to have him choose someone else who can give him the throne he always wanted while telling her that it was at a god’s behest that she help him. In some ways, I imagine that being used like that is what probably hurt the most. But it’s cool, she ends up ending the play by riding in a golden chariot pulled by MOTHER FUCKING DRAGONS that her grandfather Helios sent for her and her dead kids, so I mean? She also ends up becoming the queen of Athens, but shit goes wrong there, too, but that’s a whole other thing that makes her like the original shitty step mom (save for all of Zeus’s illegitimate kids Hera keeps trying to kill). 

And Jason is crushed to death when a piece of wood falls off his ship, so good riddance. 

It’s interesting that this story is originally Jason and the Argonauts, a tale that’s supposed to illustrate the bravery and resilience of our ‘hero’ Jason, but really as Euripedes makes evident, it is Medea who the most resilient and in the end, of all the characters, though she may not have an explicitly happy ending, she isn’t punished by the gods for any of her actions while Jason literally dies by the ship he sailed on these ‘heroic’ escapades. 

About the artwork: It took me three days and a lot of cussing, I mean YouTube videos, to get this where I liked it. I feel like it uploaded a little blurry but overall I’m content :)

[botanicallyinclinednerd]

Merlin season 5 episode 5:

Before I even get started I wanna say this episode scares me because this is one of the episodes my friend said I'd definitely cry at. So either there is some major magic hate on Arthur's part in front of Merlin, or someone fucking dies. The episode description is not helping matters. Though the more I think about it, the more likely option A looks (please be option A, I am not ready to say goodbye to one of my babies yet)

Okay. Actual episode time:

Why hello Mordred, little murder boy

Merlin is very jealous and its a problem.

Its so interesting when ever they say some knight or another has died and the boys all look sad, like Leon, Percival, and Arthur do here, and this knight has literally never been show or mentioned on screen before. Like who the fuck is Sir Ranulf and why have we never heard of him before now?

Mordred is doing his best and is so eager to please, how can I hate him even with what I know?

Poor bean, he doesn't realize they're hazing him

You know, merlin really should have tried harder sooner to make Arthur see that Magic isn't fucking evil. Hes had so many chances

See, that tragic thing is: Mordred could very well become one of my babies before the season is up, which is cruel as hell concidering what I know. He's a very sweet boy rn.

Light banter that is still dark because Merlin has become a storm cloud

Omg THATS the context to "I haven't seen you smile these past three days"??????

See, I dont trust the Dragon at all. Nurture the boy, dont fucking alienate him!

UNDO THE FUCKING MAGIC BAN YOU DUMB FUCK

Oh, Percival, you dumb fucker

Why are all my babies being dumb. I stg if this is why....

I dont believe that for a second. Merlin is a sorcerer, yeah he's shit at healing spells, but if he tried to save Mordred he could

Did you hear that? That was the sound of my heart shattering into a million little pieces

MERLIN. WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK!?

THIS. THIS IS WHY THIS FUCKER SHOULD NEVER GET TO SEE THE FUTURE. MERLIN, THIS IS WHY YOU DONT HAVE NICE THINGS

Im legitimately so upset. This is shit writing right here, thats what I'm boiling it down to. They wanted to ensure they could end it with Arthur's death so they made Merlin blind to his fucking destiny and let fear rule him.

Im crying. Like actually sobbing over this.

IT SHOULD HAVE BEEN DIFFERENT. MERLIN DID THIS. HE DID THIS. AND IT WAS ALL FOR NOTHING.

[mortal-mun-dee]

Forget

I cannot sleep so I'll write something sad

It involves the rat bastard and my sona

The Black Dragon Clan for once had a peaceful night, something they treasure due to its sacredness. Many would take this opportunity to focus on a hobby or sleep, this wasn't the case for the pink lady. Kay appeared to be in pain; the pain being mental. Her sobs echoed through the halls of the cluttered base.

Even with peace she continues to fight, her mind echoing the darker thoughts. She lay upon her plush bed, the fluffy blankets becoming soaked from her tears. She looked out of the bedroom window, watching the snow gently fall towards the earth. Even with such a calming sight, her mind raced on.

"Why would they want me?" Kay had choked to herself. "Why would he want me? I'm nothing but damaged goods." It appears to be another rambling during her episodes of BPD. "No one cares about me," she continued with her self-destruction, "I'm literally just a burden..."

As she broke down, someone wrapped their arms around her with love and care...

"Baby, you're none of those things." Kano had returned from cleaning up the bar. He sensed something was wrong in his deceptive heart. (He was a greedy man but still human) With his senses, he came back to his loft that was shared by the pink lady. Kay was his wife, he wanted to be a decent husband for her.

"Kano..." Kay spoke in a delicate tone.

"Why do you love me? Why would you love me? I'm nothing but a leech. Someone who deserves every bad thing to happen upon a person." Hearing such lies caused a pang to his chest. He placed a very gentle kiss to her lips then shaked his head.

"Kay, you're the best bloody thing to happen to me. The gang loves you as much as I do." Kano lays on the bed, knowing that he needs to rest as well. The priority for him right now is helping his lovely cope through her breakdown. Kay rests her head upon his right shoulder, eventually embracing Kano.

"I don't think so... I-... I was basically hurt by many people. Nobody wanted to help me through my issues... It didn't help that majority of my pains were caused by the very people I should've been protected by..."

Kano continue to listen to his dearest as she explains how much she was broken by others, trying her best to recover with little progress.

"Now, Kay, you're already making steps. That's something great. Sometimes... we need to let the shit go." Kay looked at Kano with confusion.

"But... I can never let it go..."

"Then we'll bury that trash away. You don't need those fuckers that wronged you." Kano brushed away some stray hairs from Kay's flushed face. He had also wiped away some of her stray tears, wanting her to not be masked by such feelings.

"I know what it's like to be hurt by people. I asmit, I hurt others too. One thing for sure is that I'll never hurt you." Kano made sure Kay was comfortable on him, he let his bulky arms embrace her as if she was made of porcelain.

"You're not a burden, you're someone who I would never forget." Hearing Kano state such a phrase caused Kay to cry even more. The tears from her sobbing being that of joy.

She felt loved and felt reassured. She didn't feel forgotten like the past. Kano made sure she forget the pains of past people. He made sure she creates loving memories of moments like this.

[idrewbedraggledbreaths]

Sorting Daenerys Targaryen and Jorah Mormont with the sortinghatchats system (GoT verse)

I didn’t want to write this post before I finished my Killing Eve sortings (basically Carolyn and Konstantin), but I’m stuck with them, so I decided to revisit an old fandom instead with a new approach. My take here is possibly an outsider’s take, given that I haven’t interacted with this fandom for a while, save for a few close friends I made in it. Now, bear in mind this sorting system IS NOT the original HP system, it is simply based on it. It sorts you into two houses. Your primary is you WHY, your reason to be who you are, what you believe in. Your secondary is your HOW, the way you act and approach life. Below is a little tl;dr of what each of them are (I’m using the animal terminology that’s being used in many blogs, by the way. If you know the houses, you know what each animal is supposed to represent).

Lion primaries are intuitive and guided by their moral compass, which is very strong (doesn’t mean what they believe in is in fact good or correct) and Lion secondaries are the people who charge straight at something, regardless of whether they will come out of it unscathed or not.

Snake primaries value people. Not any person, their people. They will go to hell and earth for their people to be safe and happy, which can get kind of self destructive. Snake secondaries improvise much like Lion secondaries, but they tend to adapt to situation and shapeshift their way out of problems.

Bird primaries also value right and wrong like Lion primaries, but they build their systems with external information and observation, not from their gut feelings. That means Bird primaries change a lot with time, because their ‘rights’ and ‘wrongs’ change. Bird secondaries collect. Skills, tools, random knowledge, they delve deep and acquire as much of them as they can, not because things are useful, but because it’s fun.

Finally, Badger primaries are also people-persons, but their communities are much broader than a Snake primary’s. They value people, tradition, cultures and so (but not every Badger sees everyone as people, so there’s that). Badger secondaries are the hardworking types in the sense that they cultivate things, they invest in them and even become them.

You can develop models of each house according to what you find useful or what society has instilled in you, but when push come to shove, the models aren’t the real you. All of these houses can burn, meaning their essence is somehow scared away from them due to trauma, depression, societal pressures, etc. That means a Lion stops trusting their instincts, a Snake no longer feels like they’re able to protect their people or their people are better off without them, a Bird loses faith in their systems and a Badger closes themselves off from their communities and adopts a smaller circle of people. Burnt houses can look a lot like each other. For more info, check out the tags. 

Daenerys

Double Lion, no doubt (for most of the show). Dany knows what’s right, she feels it in her bones. She never tries to rationalise her decisions and she won’t usually budge, even if she is presented with a more rational plan. None of her advisors have really convinced her to do anything, they might have pushed her to do what they wanted, but if she had her way, Daenerys would only ever listen to her own heart. She needs people around her to help her not make impulsive, brash decisions(because of her Lion secondary that I will get into), but she definitely doesn’t need - and doesn’t want - a moral compass, hers works just fine. She was burned as hell in the first episodes of the first season, mostly because of Viserys’ horrible influence, because he had robbed her of a purpose, of her truth. Drogo also stifles her primary and secondary for a while, but he eventually gives her some space to be herself. When she unburns, she unburns fast. ‘Not a Queen, a Khaleesi’ is pretty much Day gong ‘yeah, I can do things my way, I can be my own person with my own values and my own self.’ I think from there on, her quest to liberate 1) take back the Iron Throne 2) liberate Slaver’s Bay and ‘Break the Wheel’ just show how much she is focused on a big quest that is not explained by reason, by her need to form a community or by the influence of someone in her life. She does it because that’s the Right Thing ™ to do, and that’s Lion primary in a nutshell. Another thing that points towards Lion primary to me is how she just won’t take criticism and specially betrayal well (not that anyone does, but Dany is particularly unforgiving most of the time). Lion primaries are particularly shaken when someone they admire doesn’t have the same moral standards as they do, because deep down they like to think they know what’s ‘good’ and ‘true’ (oops my Snake primary who doesn’t really get Lions is showing), so if you don’t follow them and their beliefs, you must be doing something wrong. This is why Dany is so fucking pissed at Jorah when she finds out he betrayed her. She is also devastated true, and she misses him, but her ideals and her ‘truth’ stop her from seeing things from his side ad from forgiving him until he has proven himself worthy. Her reaction to betrayals tie in to the fact that she is a MASSIVE Lion secondary. She headbutts her way into things and her liberal use of Dracarys is proof of that. That’s not to say she doesn’t think or plan or listen to her advisors, but when push comes to shove, homegirl ACTS. Fuck the consequences, I have three dragons, fucking try me. Don’t tell me that climbing on Drogon in the fighting pits and burning the Khals were calculated decisions. Burning the Lannister army wasn’t a calculated decision. She leaves the planning to the people around her. This is something I struggle with regarding Lions, but I have to admit they are much more prone to seizing opportunities that us Bird secondaries (because I do have a Snake model but it is utter shit). 

Now, in seasons 7 and 8, she starts burning again. She gets to Westeros, where people aren’t flocking to her side like they did in Essos. Daenerys lets herself be swayed by Jon’s pretty little speeches that sound very Lion, sound very true to Daenerys, but guess what? She is fucking betrayed by everyone. The people she loved are killed, her children are killed (and the whole ‘I will take what is mine’ thing indicates that she might have a Snaky primary model, after all, she does some things because of what she claimed as hers, be it people or the Throne), she is left absolutely alone, so she burns, she loses faith in herself, starts doubting her actions and her instincts and no one is there to help her unburn safely, so the way she does it is destructive, as it often is with Lion primaries who don’t have guidance in order to regain their trust  their instincts and their selves. To me, the KL incidence is her primary going ‘You fucking left me behind, you fuckers, now you are going to see that I was right and fuck the consequences’. Her primary takes a turn for the worse with the help of an impulsive secondary and she ends doing anything to reach her end goal, similar to Albus Dumbledore and his disregard for human life as long as Voldemort being defeated is concerned. 

Jorah

I have no doubts whatsoever that Jorah is a Snake primary. I know the fandom likes to sort him into Hufflepuff when using the traditional sorting system and while there’s no doubts he is a loyalist to the bone, Jorah’s loyalties are much narrower than a Badger primary’s would be. Before he meets Daenerys, he wants to go home and make up with his family, because they are the ones who matter. Not his reputation, not the North, not Bear Islad itself, the Mormont House. Before that still, he does literally anything to keep Lynesse happy, including doing things that are against the law. This utter devotion to certain people are what makes him a Snake primery to me, a paricularly self destructive one. He starts worrying about the fact that he berayed Daenerys when he ‘adopts’ her into his circles and more so when she goes from being in his outermost circles to being the one person his Snake primary is attached to. Daeerys is everything to Jorah. Does he persoally care about freeing slaves or generally following her morals? No, he does it because it is importat to her and he wants her to see he is worthy of her attention (I, another Snek, still don’t kow if I like Florence + The Machine so damn much because I liked a girl who was into FATM or if my Bird secondary saw her taste for FATM and went ‘OMG ME TOO LETS TALK ABOUT THAT’ and the primary just said ‘huh, that’s legit. We’ll worship her from now on’, so yeah, us Snakes do that. On a side note, I never worked up the courage to ask her out, though). That’s why he goes batshit when she banishes him. He doesn’t burn, which means his primary is so strong it wasn’t fazed by being ast out of her circles; no, he is hell bent on getting back into her good graces and if he has to sacrifice his life fr that, so be it. 

Now, when it comes to secondary, I’d say Jorah’s a Lion secondary too, even though he has a lot of models he picked up with time. Models are useful, models get you out of bad situations, but they’re not who you really are. Jorah wans to be a Bird secondary when he’s around Daenerys, he wants to be the careful planner who looks ahead and ensures she is successful and he also needs a Snake secondary model, because his life demands that he twists and turns himself to fit different situations, but deep inside he is a Lion. His most honest moments are the moments when he just does it, no thoughts head empty. Did he have a solid plans when he kidnapped Tyrion? Fuck no! Did he truly know what he was doing when he decided to fight in the pits? Fuck no! Did he think before he charged at the wights and saved Daenerys in Winterfell? Fuck no! His head was probably just going ‘my Daenerys is in danger let’s punch first and see what happens later’. He’s not like Littlefinger, who plans everything ad is so fast at analysing and changing plans he looks like a Snake. His models make him seem like the opposite of Dany, like a Bird to a Lion, brains while she is brawn, but when she is in danger, Jorah charges. 

What the Jorleesi shippers do is take Dany’s Lion primary that is so focused on a quest and show her that she can also include people in her big aspirations. The gut feeling that is so characteristic of Lions is already inside her, all she would need is to put it into words, which isn’t necessarily the strongest suits of many Lions (that’s a Bird thing). Since most of their dynamics inevitably lies on Jorah’s models regulating Dany’s secondary, there’s not much point in ‘taming her Lion’. Jorah stays the same. The fandom looooves his Snake/Lion, specially since us Snakes tend to be too hard on ourselves. A self-loathing Snake who is also a stupid brave Lion secondary? Yes. They are both stupid brave. Also just stupid. Just talk, you two, for fuck’s sake. Get over your Lion, Daenerys, and talk to him, his Snake won’t allow him to bother you too much. 

[tenshindon]

Zamasu or stinky fruit man Turles for the character meme? 👉👈

I will do both because thye’re my favorite villains HAHA

Zamasu

Give Me A Character and I Will Answer:

Why I like them:

He had... such good potential.... He had such an INTERESTING set up too!! Also he’s over dramatic LMAO LIKE SHUT UP YOU LITERAL FRUIT

Why I don’t:

Again, phenomenal potential gone to waste.

Favorite episode (scene if movie):

Love the episode where he becomes gooey Fused Zamasu- like it’s just a perfect metaphor for how corrupt he’s become and how far he’s fallen as he feebly attempts to justify his actions and fight for his cause.

Favorite season/movie:

I MEAN. HE ONLY SHOWS UP IN ONE SAGA SO.

Favorite line:

"Once again mortals imitate the gods, as they always do... And why is that? Because the gods are great? Because the gods are too beautiful?" -Dragon Ball Fighterz; Fused Zamasu’s introduction quote against Vegito 

He’s so dramatic shut UP you pompous prick but he Also appeals to the nihilistic part of my soul I Am Attempting To Bury :))

Favorite outfit:

It’s manga-exclusive BUT I adore his North Kai outfit!! It’s really neat and I wish we could see it in color!

OTP:

Him and himself?? I don’t know LMAO that’s the only person he could love.

Brotp:

Him and Gowasu- obviously canon divergent, but I just love the potential to explore their relationship and to see all of the possible outcomes. Especially the outcome where Gowasu was successful in tutoring Zamasu and they become close, thus leading Zamasu to lashing out against Goku Black when Gowasu is inevitably killed.

I guess what I’m trying to say is I Really Like A What If Scenario LMAO

Head Canon:

Not really a headcanon but kind of I guess? But Zamasu doesn’t like civilized mortal lives but has an appreciation for nature and non-destructive lifeforms (or at least is willing to tolerate them).

Unpopular opinion:

I don’t know if this is an unpopular opinion but Zamasu’s arc deserves a rewrite because I Have Said It Like Three Times Now there was so much potential and there was so many interesting concepts!!

A wish:

See above so I don’t repeat myself for the fourth time <3

An oh-god-please-dont-ever-happen:

Keep Zamasu dead I swear to the heavens if you fuckers somehow bullshit him back into existence I will do a backflip.

5 words to best describe them:

Misguided deity obsessed with perfection

My nickname for them:

Fruit Boy

Turles

Give Me A Character and I Will Answer:

Why I like them:

He’s literally just evil Goku that’s so fucking funny to me. Also he’s just unapologetically evil like why is he like this <3

Why I don’t:

I don’t have anything against him he’s just an asshole and he’s proud to admit that LMAO- what a fun guy.

Favorite episode (scene if movie):

Him spinning Gohan around in the air like an American football will never Not be the funniest thing to me.

Favorite season/movie:

He appears in One Movie :)

Favorite line:

I haven’t watched the Tree of Might in years so I don’t remember anything he specifically said :))

Favorite outfit:

His Saiyan armor but With The Cape!!!

OTP:

No one really oops

Brotp:

AGAIN no one, really.

Head Canon:

I don’t really have any HC’s for my man sorry Turles :(

Unpopular opinion:

I don’t think there are ANY opinions about him honestly--

A wish:

It’d be hilarious if he came back into canon and the whole episode was just Turles running around town being a dick in the name of Goku- that’s all I could ever want. He never does anything too bad (okay he can level One (1) city) and after the gang realizes Turles is Not Goku Turles just leaves with the promise to come back (but then he never does).

An oh-god-please-dont-ever-happen:

Don’t bring him back and have him be lame I don’t know that’s all I could ask for.

5 words to best describe them:

Fruit-obsessed Goku-lookin’ headass

My nickname for them:

Fruit Man, Turtle, and Evil Goku!

[kaleidoscopic-quiddity]

HEROES: RISING!! RAMBLINGS & SPOILERS

Literally got out of the movie, got home, showered & sat down to type this out so its probably incoherent lol, I’ve tried to keep my notes in chronological order though 

THE ANIMATIOOOONNNN!!! THE ANIMATION FOR THE WHOLE DAMN MOVIE WAS S O GOOD BUT ESPECIALLY THE FIGHT SCENES & CGI USE 

HAWKS!!!!! we finally got him animated AND Nakamura Yuuichi’s voice for him was perfect 

Endeavor vs Dabi..... 2!!! TodorokiTouyaSayWhat

Honesty?? the hero commission and UA agreeing to send a bunch of trainees off to an isolated area with no support at all from pros?? total BS lol like I get it the movie needs its set-up but goddamn there’s no way anyone actually would’ve thought that was a good idea in-universe 

Another complaint: there was too much M*neta, that’s all 

EVERYONE IN CLASS 1-A REALLY GOT TIME TO SHINE!! seeing everyone doing lil jobs around the island was adorable

Kiri freaking out over making a baby cry had by giggling lmao he’s so cute 

Sero sectioning off the beach,,  I Love The He 

Momo was so cute this entire goddamn movie like wow I did not realise I loved her this much, best girl 

MAHORO AND KATSUMA!!!!! so freaking cute and I LOVED Mahoro’s sass 

Also loved all Mahroro and Bakugou’s interactions, king of explodokills gonna throw down with an eight year old lmao 

Speaking of Bakugou: Him constantly yelling ‘Don’t give me orders’ only to then follow said orders?? iconic 

ALSO ICONIC: Midoriya basically fucking tackling him to stop him from getting into it with Mahoro, the cain instinct everybody 

Nine has a hella cool design and like I CANNOT be the only one who thinks he looks at bit like the first OFA user AND Nana Shimura, ESPECIALLY with his hair down 

He looked cool but he’s a fuckin stupid villian, ‘I want a world where the strong rule over the weak’ bitch what world do you think you’re living in now??? 

Not to be a villain-fucker on main but Shigaraki was rlly hot in this movie 

I straight up GASPED when Nine’s blue dragon-y thing got Bakugou, I literally thought he was gonna get cut in half 

Momo and Denki literally exhausting their quirks to keep the islanders safe.... IM PROUD OF THESE FLEDGLING HEROES 

SHOJI!!!!! Shoji was SO good this movie!! gentlest giant ever! the ammount of times he shielded Mahoro & Katsuma with no regard for himself :’)) 

Mina and Tokoyami was an unexpectedly cool team-up, Dark Shadow going sicko mode when Mina gor hurt? I FELT that 

Todoroki ‘Petty’ Shouto voice: My father told me to push my body to its limits with my fire & then use my ice to cool myself down,,,,, I’m gonna do the exact opposite and almost definitely give myself hypothermia 

Seriously!!! the way he just kinda curled up on the ground after defeating Chimera??? that shit hurted 

Red Riot is on the scene! And once again I was blown away by how freaking awesome unbreakable is 

Uravity and Cellophane?? did you mean team up of the motherfucking century??? 

Uraraka pushed herself so goddamn hard she was AMAZING, that last stunt with the logs holding back the literal WAVE of boulders? plus fuckin ultra 

Aoyama was also hella plus ultra, king has an incompatible quirk that gives him severe stomach pain but he still pushed himself so far past his limits

Momo, on the verge of collapse, quirk exhausted: Hey everyone I made two whole goddamn canons 

Seriously where’s that post about how Momo loves canons despite their impracticality, this is getting ridiculous 

Using Kaminari as a freaking lightning rod,, jfc 

Everyone in the cinema lost their SHIT at Bakugou and Midoriya reaching for each other,, Midoriya saying ‘It’s fine if it’s you’ I was C R Y I N G 

Bakugou kicked Midoriya out of the way of one of Nine’s blasts, he could’ve grabbed him or yelled at him to dodge but no, he decided on  kicking him out of the way 

The cain instinct strikes again 

Seeing all of the OFA predecessors animated?? seeing Midoriya in that grey-scale with the orange flame just like All Might at Kamino?? YALL ;-; 

‘This is... the final Smash. Goodbye One For All. Thank you’ 

Bakugou finally fucking got to say ‘detroit smash’. god bless 

Nine literally summoning A Whole Fucking Tornado TM only for Midoriya and Bakugou to punch said Whole Fucking Tornado TM into submission, I can’t 

I thought Deku was gonna use Black Whip in this movie??? I really guess they were trying to avoid as many manga spoilers as possible 

Might+U during the final confrontation with Nine,,,, good fuckin use of the song 

Actually, the whole soundtrack was brilliant, Hayashi Yuki is a fucking genius 

All Might holding Bakugou and Midoriya’s hands, thanking OFA’s predecessors, aaaaaAAAAAAAAA

‘Win to save and save to win, with that you can become the ultimate heroes’ 

SPEAKING OF THAT ^ Bakugou being the one to save Mahoro whilst Deku goes in for the attack on Nine?? character growth babey 

The callbacks to Kamino,, ‘You’re Next’,, the United States of Smash,, All Might is the best don’t @ me 

Bakugou not keeping OFA and not even remembering he had it was a total asspull but I’m willing to write it off as ‘Oh well the movies are only semi-canon anyways also Plot Armour’ 

Bakugou calling Sero by his name,, Bakugou letting Kaminari live after calling him ‘Bakugou no Kacchan-kun’,,, the team up to take down Mummy, ‘Kirishima is the only person Bakugou’s actually friends with’ WHERE?? 

Deku telling Katsuma ‘you can become a hero’! we’ve come full circle and it made me fucking CRY 

Also,, the way Katsuma wants to be strong hero who can beat up any villain??? and the way Mahoro is a protective person who was literally willing to give up her life for her baby brother??? ‘win to save and save to win’??? the fuckin PARALLELS ya’ll 

Bakugou and Midoriya are brothers don’t @ me I know I’m fucking right 

I didn’t entirely understand what Katsuma’s quirk actually IS??? ‘cell activation’ means fuck all lmao 

Todoroki’s FACE when Endeavour was hugging him, like literaly boi had almost frozen himself solid but he still somehow managed to look more disgruntled dealing with his dad 

IIDA REALLY GOT TO STEP UP!! he and Momo taking charge and delegating tasks?? Iida going in BY HIMSELF to distract Chimera? Iida using Torque Over??? IM SO PROUD :’)

Speaking of Chimera what the fuck even is his quirk? at first I just thought he had a mutant-type quirk then I was like ‘oh cool it’s actually a transformation-type’ then he started shooting his fucking mouTH BEAM and like isn’t that an emitter??? how the hell can he do all that with Just One Quirk 

Nine: ‘There can only be... one leader’ 

Shigaraki, disintegrating him: ‘Yeah and it’s me bitch’ 

the future king has arrived,,, 

In conclusion: platonic bkdk rights, dadmight is canon, I would die for Mahoro & Katsuma, go beyond plus ultra! 

[tenok]

20 questions

1. What do you prefer to be called namewise? most people call me Ten (not like number, in russian it doesen't mean anything) or Теныч (more agressive form of Ten lol). People from offline know me as Violet, and I grew fond of it being chopped as Vio.

2. When is your birthday? 4th July YES I KNOW

3. Where do you live? Russia, St Peresburg!

4. Three things you are doing right now? I'm writing for my job, writing for my RP and writing this lol. Also there's music playing.

5. Four fandoms that have peaked your interest? I'll always be a trekkie! Also I'm always down to discuss Dragon age. Supernatural is probably close to the top, and honorable mention goes to Major Grom as a current obsession.

6. How has the pandemic been treating you? I didn't have problems with pandemic per se, but I lost my ex-ex job right before it started and my ex job in the middle of it, so things are a little shake.

7. A song you can’t stop listening to right now? DEAD BLONDE — Бесприданница. I HAVE NOTHING BUT MY BOOTS MY COAT AND DADDYS GUN I'LL MADE MY MAKE UP WITH NEW EYELINER AND WILL BE THE PRETTIEST ONE ON THE GUNFIGHT I DON'T GO FOR THE WALK WITHOUT MY FAVORITE KNIFE DO YOU THINK YOU CAN INTIMIDATE ME?

8. Recommend a movie. Watch a Major Grom: Plague doctor, I'm begging you all.

9. How old are you? 27 and waiting to turn 30 and finally feel grown up lol

10. School, university, occupation, other? work *sigh*

11. Do you prefer heat or cold? heat is awful but I remember how -30 made me literally cry (and after that ice grew on my cheeks) on the way to school so heat it is.

12. Name one fact others may not know about you. I have four cats, their names are Abin, Shusha, Little Fucker and Itty-bitty.

13. Are you shy? not so shy, mostly anxious.

14. Preferred pronouns? he/his, but I don't mind occasional she and all gender neutral options in Russian suck (no shade to those who use them of couse)

15. Biggest pet peeves? I have a lot lol, right now I'm feeling petty about all monoamourus people who drags their mononormativity in fandom. Yesterday I saw great headcanon with my ot3 and read through it all only to understand that it was not actually ot3 it was sad and broken pining from the distance and I was like NOT ON MY WATCH. I mean yeah you ship as you want and I'll be there with by poly dinamics UWU

16. What is your favourite “dere” type? I was forced to use google for this and honestly I don't know, probably that one that cold only because they don't know how to act around people.

17. Rate your life from 1-10. ehh 6? could become 7-8 any moment if I find good enough job and stop worring about money

18. What’s your main blog? this is my only blog lol. I started use tumblr long ago and this was just the place to collect all shiny things I like. So there's no sistem no tags and at this point it's too late to change it

19. List your sideblogs and what they’re used for. May I ineterst you in my twitter instead? It's russian of cource, I post there about my offline stuff and all fandoms I'm obsessed at the moment. I also have a blog on dybr (which is diary 2.0, which was a russian lj), where I post rarely and mostly about things too complicated for twitter.

20. Is there something people need to know about you before becoming friends? I tend to drop all connections for weeks or months at the time, we can't be friends if you couldn't wait sorry

I was tagged by @untoldblisses, big thanks, it's nice to feel seen lol! I'm too lazy to tag someone right now tho but if we talked at least once know that I want you to do this and to tag me so I can read your answers, I'm nosy like this.

[ayma-nidiot]

“Don’t Speak Their Names” - Shrimpshipping fic Chapter 32

This chapter can be found here on AO3.

Chapter 32 - God-Shattering Star

“Oh, cry me a river, Rex!” Weevil glanced to the battle below; many of the Club members had already died. Joey, Mai, Yugi, Téa, Tristan, Atem, and Duke were the only fighters who hadn’t sustained any serious injuries against the massive Earthbound army. Even Phuckdis and William were riddled with gashes, yet refused to retreat with Dr. Balls. “So your allies still cling to life like a drowning man onto a rock. Cute. Not that it will do any of you any good!”

“Rex…” Mako crawled on the floor; luckily for him, Espa retreated from the battle before he got hurt at all. “Don’t listen to him! You’re… hah… You’re the only one who can… save us…”

“Mako, don’t…” It was just then that after recalling the fight with Nortius, Rex had an idea. “Wait a second, Amber.”

“Papa, what is it?”

“I want to try something out. Why don’t we try fusing, just like Mako did with Jinzo?”

“But we don’t even have Polymerization! Those who do either are incapacitated or otherwise occupied! And you can’t even fly… If you fell to your death just like Kaiba, and all because of a stupid and ill-timed experiment, I…”

“Argh, we’ll both die anyway if we do nothing!” Rex pumped his fists in the air. “Show a little bit more Raptor spirit, why don’t you?”

“Papa… Okay. I trust you.” So Amber spoke as she half-shifted, and Rex began a long freefall.

“You really are a blooming idiot, aren’t you?” Weevil would have laughed longer, but stopped when he saw Rex glow pink. “So you think you can- Huh?”

“What’s… What’s happening to my boy?” Ptera wondered as Spinos tended to her wounds.

“Don’t tell me…” Phuckdis began. “Rex is…”

Before Rex could fall very far, Amber had completely fused with him, and he grew angel’s wings that soon turned into Rabidragon’s wings. Even if only by a little bit, the gloomy weather began to dissipate, replaced by an enormous pink glow at the top of KaibaCorp Tower. 

“What is the meaning of this?” The shining presence of Rex - with his bow, fluffy white shirt, golden pants, and Rabidragon’s ears and tail - intimidated Weevil. “Just who do you think you are, that you can challenge me? Well, no matter! I’ll kill you right here, as I intended to do from the beginning! Take this!” 

“...” Rex didn’t say anything as he simply held his bow at his side, and grabbed the chain whip before it could hurt him.

“It’s… Impossible! Aaaah!” Weevil reeled backwards when Rex threw him. “How can a weak rabbit like you stand up to me? ”

“It’s because…” Phuckdis made his presence known. “Rex is the true God-Shattering Star.”

William bowed in reverence with his brother and the remaining members of the Club. “He is the light that will save us all.”

Espa could still see Weevil and Rex, even from his hospital room. “Is that you, Rex Raptor?”

Joey looked up at Rex’s true form with a hint of jealousy. “That’s more powerful than anything I could cook up with the Claw of Hermos. I suppose that runt isn’t as weak as I thought him to be.”

Rex finally opened his now-crimson eyes and began to speak in a distorted voice. “Weevil… No, Earthbound God Sanpedro. I will kill you, right here and now, and free my beloved Weevil Underwood from your clutches.”

“So now you want me to die? That’s rich! What a fool. Come on, boy, come try me!”

“Hey, let me help too!” When Joey rushed up to Rex, he could feel an invisible barrier push him backwards. 

“Joey, this is my fight alone. Why don’t you just take out the small fry and let a pro handle this?”

“Hahaha!” Despite the fact that there were still several hundred Earthbound soldiers left, Joey couldn’t help but laugh. “Even when he’s some almighty angel… god... thing, he’s still definitely that silly Rex Raptor. Well, my dude, consider my morale boosted! You heard the man, guys!”

“H-How dare you address the God-Shattering Star that way?” Phuckdis was clearly offended. 

“Aww, come on, lighten up! Or you can just, I don’t know, sit there and relax while us duelists take care of the bad guys.”

“Or I can just, you know, show you just how strong us shapeshifters are!” Upon hearing Joey’s words, Phuckdis felt his strength anew, as did his brother. “I cannot fly, but that doesn’t mean I cannot fight!”

“Headstrong and reckless like your ‘God-Shattering Star.’” Duke chuckled. “Well, then, you better do a good job proving how strong you are!”

“You’re a poet and didn’t even know it!” Tristan quipped.

“You see, Weevil?” Rex stared at the nearly-soulless shell of his boyfriend. “You picked the wrong side to fight for. You have no friends there.”

“‘Friends,’ huh…” Weevil stared absentmindedly at the fighting below, especially at Joey and Atem. The chain whip rattled in his hands as he shook in anger. “Must be sooooo nice to have them! It must feel soooooo nice to be able to get palsy-walsy with people who didn’t give a shit about you just four years ago!”

“Weeves?!”

“You… YOU FUCKERS WILL ALL PAY!” Weevil dove as fast as he could, with all the anger he could muster ready to fuel his strike upon Atem.

“You coward! Get back here!” Rex couldn’t dive anywhere near that quickly, but tried to keep up as fast as his unborn baby would allow him, holding onto her for dear life.

“Eh?” Joey noticed Weevil coming for him before anyone else did, and braced himself with the Red-Eyes Black Dragon Sword. “Atem, look out!”

“Amulet Dragon, protect us!”

Weevil had originally planned to strike everyone in one blow with the chain whip. But being the deceptive little shit he was, he decided on a different mode of attack - bypassing all of the monsters and encasing his two most hated enemies in spider webs instead. “Ha! Syke!”

“Ggh!” Already, Joey was up to his neck in spider webs - yet for some strange reason, his sword arm remained free, as did the sword itself. The webs would not give way, no matter how hard or often he slashed at them.

“W-Weevil…” Atem could hardly talk, as the spider webs gripped his throat tightly. “I… I thought we were friends!”

“Me? Friends with you?! What a joke! Do you honestly expect me to believe a word of bullshit coming out of your mouth after the suffering you’ve caused me? Do you honestly think that after all you’ve done, I’d consider you a friend?” Weevil cackled as Atem writhed in pain. “If anything, you’re lower than the dirt underneath my feet!”

All the commotion awakened Heka. “F-Father… No! Dear gods, what’s happening to my father?”

“Boy! How does it feel to know that your father is no longer the King of Games?”

“Leave… him alone!” Heka flung a flimsy arm, releasing a ball of light that Weevil easily blocked. 

“Hmm… Nah, I think I’ll pass on that. In fact, I’d rather kill him before your very eyes!” Weevil approached Atem, with the intent to decapitate him with the chain whip. That was, until Rex blocked him in the nick of time, drawing Weevil’s attention away from his two captives. “Humph. It’s you again.”

“Damn right!” Rex’s smile faded when not long after he blocked the attack, his bow began to crumble. “Uh… Uh-oh…”

“Hah! Some ‘God-Shattering Star’ you turned out to be! Looks to me like you’re the one who’s shattered!” 

“Crud… I kind of need a weapon!” Rex picked up a sword from one of his fallen allies, but it was so weak that Weevil shattered it with his bare hands, grabbing Rex by the throat right after. “Ngh!”

“Before I kill you right here and now, tell me something, Rex. Why did you defend these guys?”

“B-Because… They’re… my… cough… cough…”

“They accepted you so easily, just because you play by the rules… Why is friendship such an easy thing for you, yet I could never make one friend? Why do Joey and Atem and literally everyone else in this fucking city love you and think I’M the worst duelist there ever was?”

“Don’t… Don’t I count, Weeves?” More than the iron grip of Weevil’s right hands, Weevil’s words hurt Rex. “And your own daughter? Have… cough… Have you already forgotten what we’ve all been through? We’re… willing to… forgive you… Just… Ugh!”

“Not another word out of you! The Earthbound Gods are the only friends I need now! Not you weaklings!” Ignoring the twinge of pain in his heart, Weevil lightly ran the chain whip over Rex’s left arm, barely enough to draw blood. “I’m going to fucking kill you!”

Weevil was so far gone into his own madness that Joey was certain he wouldn’t be able to hear him now. “Psst… Rex.”

“J-Joey?” Rex turned his head around, just enough to see Joey.

“You said… cough… that you needed a weapon, right?” Joey held up his sword arm. “Ya’ think this will be good enough?”

“That’s…!” Flashbacks of his Orichalcos duel flooded Rex’s mind. That’s the sword that sent my soul to the Great Leviathan! But if there’s no other choice, then…

“It’s now or never! Think fast!” Joey threw the Red-Eyes Black Dragon Sword at Rex, hoping to the gods he’d catch it and put it to good use.

“If that sword can’t cut the spider webs, then what makes you think that Rex will somehow magically put it to good use?”

Rex felt the sword land in his right hand, and had a clever idea. “By doing… this. ”

“G-Gaaaaah!” Weevil howled in pain when Rex did the unthinkable - completely cutting off his right arms and thereby freeing Atem and Joey from their bonds. He stared at Rex wide-eyes. “You would dare hurt me? Aren’t you scared of losing the love of your life?”

“Yes, I am.” Rex pointed the sword at Weevil’s face. “But the thing I’m even more scared of? Seeing Weevil Underwood beat himself up and become a destructive monster where a man once was.”

“Ugh, you were always so talkative!” Weevil flew higher and dove at Rex like a peregrine falcon. Rex took to the air as well and parried this attack with the sword, but not without some recoil. “Just one of the many things I hate about you!”

“Hah!” Rex repelled Weevil with the sword, enough to put a slight dent in the chain whip. “Your psychological tricks aren’t going to work on me now, Weevil!” 

“But maybe a variety of attacks can!” Weevil shot spider webs from his left hands that stuck to Rex’s butt-length hair and part of his shirt.

“Tch…” Rex didn’t like the sensation of sticky things in his hair, but grinned and bore it for now. “Am I supposed to be scared by the fact that you’re still part-spider?”

Weevil smirked as he barraged Rex with the chain whip. “Oh, I still see the fear in your eyes, Rex Raptor. A fear that you will lose the father of that child you’re carrying.”

Weevil’s words reminded Rex of his more painful contractions that got ever closer - yet being the bold man and duelist he was, he paid them little heed.

“I’ll give you credit for one thing,” Weevil spoke while he beat his wings faster, deadlocked in battle, trying to crush Rex with the chain whip. “You’re quite the warrior. And you’ve changed since your Orichalcos duel with Joey. It appears that you’re not going to let something like mere words rile you up.”

“But I can tell my words are riling you up…” Rex whispered closed to Weevil’s ear, catching him off-guard, before stabbing him in the shoulder with the sword. 

“Ngh…” Finally in pain, Weevil could feel his strength dwindling.

“Weeves…” Rex stared at his boyfriend - and stabbed him in the left thigh - in sorrow. “You can’t honestly mean that you want this… any of this! Don’t you remember seeing your daughter for the first time on the ultrasound? A-And how I told you all those years ago that I want nobody but you? How fast our hearts were beating when we confessed our love?”

“You… dino brain! Ack!” Weevil could no longer repel Rex’s attack and fell a few feet downwards. “I thought I told you that you can’t sweet talk your way into killing an Earthbound God!”

“You called me ‘dino brain’ again…” Tears of joy pooled in Rex’s eyes. “I know you still love me… Once the Rex Raptor has his sights on you, you can’t get rid of him.”

“Actually, I can ,” spoke a voice that was clearly not Weevil’s.

“Is… Is that you, Watda?” Weevil’s real voice finally came out.

“It appears to me that you’re going to be useless now, Uru… So it looks like I’m going to have to take matters into my own hands.”

“No… No!” Weevil thrashed about in the air, confusing Rex. “Leave Rex and Amber alone!”

“Weeves, what’s going on?” Rex couldn’t hear Watda’s voice.

“Goodbye, you damned useless rabbit…”

Weevil couldn’t control the ball of dark energy coming out from his right hands. “Wait… Watda, stop!”

“Ah!” He wasn’t fully confident that he could block this evidently stronger attack, but Rex enveloped himself in his dragon’s wings. 

And Rex wouldn’t have to block the attack. For before Watda’s attack could hit him, Weevil managed to separate from Watda, taking the full brunt of the attack last minute.

“W-Weeves!” The strength in Rex’s eyes now gone, he watched in horror as his boyfriend froze in the air before beginning a rapid descent into Domino City’s concrete. “Oh my gods… No… You’re going to come back, just like you did last time… right?”

“Even an Earthbound God and the Blue-Eyes Shining Dragon can’t survive a 1000-meter fall. You saw it yourself when Cusillu, Aslla Piscu, and Kaiba all died.”

“Shut… up…”

“Now what are you going to do, since your beloved Weevil Underwood lies dead?” Watda laughed as his shadows grew fiercer. “You’re nothing without him, you weak-ass monster. Nothing!”

“That’s… That’s not… Oh!” Before Rex could aim his sword at Watda, he suddenly felt amniotic fluid trickle down his legs. He shook so badly that he lost grip of the sword as it plummeted after Weevil.

“You’re in labour, hmm? Looks to me like you have two choices: one, continue to fight me and risk losing your baby; or two, going back to ground level to give birth. But with that second option, there might be a sliiiiight chance I’ll destroy the world. Either way, you lose! Hahahahaha!”

No, he won’t, spoke Amber’s voice.

“Ngh… Amber, you’re still there?”

I’ve been with you the whole time, Papa. You’ve got to finish this fast!

“But how do you expect me to do that? Especially since… your Daddy is…”

There is one way. Now that Daddy has been separated from Watda… Papa, I’ll give you all of my strength. Use it to finally banish this mongrel to hell, where he belongs! Amber de-fused from Rex. In fully shifted form, she engulfed Watda, leaving only the Earthbound God’s chest exposed. In the process, lights sprung from the ground as the bow regenerated in Rex’s hands.

“Ggh! Let go of me, you wench!” Watda struggled to no avail.

Before Rex could process what was going on, he coruscated like the northern lights, and he stretched out his new angel’s wings. His hair grew past his legs, and brown locks encircled his arms.

“Oh my…” With the Earthbound army now vanquished, Phuckdis could truly behold his people’s chief god.

“That’s my boy!” Ptera cheered. “Give that bastard what for!”

“Hehe!” Rex gave his mom a thumbs up. “One kick-ass arrow, coming right up!”

“What are you doing?” Watda could feel his time at an end.

“Watda!” Rex continued to growl as he pulled his bowstring back, and his body and weapon grew ever brighter. “Go back to the shadows! Hyaaaaaaaah!”

“It’s…” Watda could say little more as the glowing arrow impaled a giant hole in his chest. “It’s done… I’m… done… Aaaaaaaaaaarrrrrrgh!”

“Finally, something we can agree on.” Rex’s descent back to Earth started slowly, but upon reaching six feet above ground, he reverted forms and fell into Spinos’ arms.

“God-Shattering Star!” Phuckdis and the remaining Club members ran up to Rex.

“Is… Is that what I’m called? Heh, sounds pretty cool…” Rex would have rested if he didn’t wonder about Amber. “Wait a second, where’s Amber? Where is my daughter?”

“Rex!” Mokuba pointed to an approaching Joey, who carried a heavily mutilated Amber in his arms.

“Amber!” Rex got up from his prone position to hold Amber, whom Joey had gently lowered to the ground. “No! I… I thought we got him! I thought we defeated Watda together!”

“W-We did… But at a cost… What did you think I meant when I said ‘I’ll give you all of my strength?’”

“Amber…?” Rex couldn’t even hold Amber’s right hand anymore, as it began to fade into nothingness. “What’s happening? Please… This isn’t happening!”

“My… My granddaughter…” Ptera cried as Spinos and Tricera consoled her. Not a single eye was dry as Rex’s friends and allies watched the scene unfold. Even Espa and a newly-healed Mako could see what was going on.

“But… But we only got to duel once!” Joey got down and cried with Rex. “And you haven’t even dueled Espa yet! I thought you were going to win back his Serpent Night Dragon!”

“Joey… My friend…” Amber reached out her left hand to Joey. “I… I just wished I had… acknowledged you as such… earlier…”

“Amber! No, please don’t die!” Pretty much every body part Rex tried to grab at faded away, except for Amber’s head, shoulders, and left hand. 

“Die? No, I’m just about to be born…” Amber placed what was left of her left hand on Rex’s baby bump. “I can’t wait to see you again and forge our bonds anew.”

“Amber…?” Rex cried as Amber chuckled one last time before her future self was no more. “AMBER! NO! Oh… my gods… Sniff…”

“My love!” Heka, who had just fully healed, ran to Rex. He had only seen future Amber for a brief spell before she died. “Oh, no… My heart…”

“Heka, I’m so sorry…” Rex hugged his daughter’s boyfriend. “Not only for your mother’s death, but also for Amber’s…”

“Forget about me! You just lost your daughter!” Heka cried into Rex’s shoulder as Atem consoled him too.

“Amber… I… Aaaaargh!” Rex suddenly doubled over as the remainder of his amniotic fluid gushed out all at once.

“His water has already broken… Rex is going into labour!” Mokuba announced. “Someone call an ambulance!”

“It’s for real this time, guys!” Joey got up and dialed the campus emergency number. After that, he knelt down again, trying to calm Rex down in any way he could. “Rex, hang in there. We’re going to get you help!”