#and I would always sing a little song to myself that went 'I wish I was a boy'

[songstep4002]

Does anyone else look back and realize that one of your childhood invisible friends had some really weird gender stuff going on that you never thought to examine at the time?

Like I had a whole superhero universe and the main villain, T-who, was... I don't even know. I used he/him to refer to him, but thinking of him as a man feels so weird to me now, and the way I pictured him, his gender was similar to Princess Lily, the main hero, who was Very Definitely A Girl. (His real name, Tom Jack, was like the first two random guy names I could come up with- and the whole thing was a Voldemort ripoff because 'if you say his real name he will send his wolves after you'- not even getting into the fact that my younger brother proceeded to rip off my ripoff by creating an entire supervillain society of alphabet people named A-who, B-who, etc. It was a whole thing.)

But anyways yeah I don't know what was going on with the gender stuff.

[chaoticbardlady99]

Could you please do some comforting fic? Like, Tav is crying because of stress (or maybe a painful memory) and Astarion has to console her being an absolute emotional support vampire?

Dying Star (Astarion x GN! Reader)

Your wish is my command!

Synopsis: While exploring the Shadowlands, you run into Arabella and she asks you to find her parents. Unfortunately, you don’t have good news to deliver and Astarion tries to navigate your feelings with tips from Karlach.

Character Class- Cleric of Lliira

 (I’m really obsessed with this concept because I’m a Social Worker and I refer to myself as the “positivity police” so this is a character type I have grown fond of)

TW: Grief, Trauma, Parental loss, PTSD, Panic Attacks, mentions of violence and gore.

*I really like the nickname Little Love (I know it’s for Ascended only but…..) so I will be using it as a pet name that Astarion uses for the reader.

Companion song: Dying Star by Ashnikko (feat. Ethel Cain)

     It was supposed to be easy. You had an extra skip to your step as you headed in the direction Arabella told you her parents went. 

 Finally, you had thought, I can do something good for someone. I can reunite a family. No morally gray bullshit to navigate.

 You were grinning the whole way there despite your argument with Astarion before sending him with Arabella.

 “We don’t have time to go parent hunting.”

“There is always time to go parent hunting.”

  He had expressed his disdain about finding Arabella’s parents. He told you it’s a waste of time- they were probably dead anyway. Arabella had whimpered and teared up. That was enough for you to lose your patience and you ripped into him for saying "something so awful and in front of a CHILD, nonetheless!"

You sent him back with Arabella and Wyll, telling him that if he had no desire to search and rescue, he didn’t have to. He had looked hurt and insisted he go, that he needed to be there, but you were fed up and a little girl was crying.

Dejected, Astarion had gone back to camp. The guilt sat heavily at the bottom of your stomach, but you had a personal mission to complete and nothing was going to stop you.

  You were orphaned as a young child. The nightmares had gone away (for the most part), but you still remember your father dragging you away from your mother’s cold body as Loth Drows ambushed Silverymoon. They had had a whole army and their druids had control over giant creatures from the Underdark. You remember losing your father in the haze, an arrow to your back, running and slipping into a river. Then nothing. Until a nearby Cleric of Lliira (Leer-uh) had saved you, taking you to Selgaunt (SELL-GAUNT) on the coast of the Sea of Stars. Lliira had healed your heart and saved you- you hoped to pay that debt forward and help Arabella have a better outcome than you did. 

  No one in your party knew your past and you hadn’t brought it up to Astarion. It feels so long ago and it was a topic you preferred to bring up in a more hospitable place than the Shadowlands and after you help Astarion kill Cazador. You wanted to prioritize his joy and help him finally be free, so why would you burden him with your past while he is suffering far more from his?

 It didn’t take you and your party long to locate Arabella’s parents. You found them in the House of Healing- dead.  Along with your hope and joy. 

  You had erupted in a tearful rage and you stabbed the Sister who killed them over and over. 

  You didn’t care what the Joybringer would do if she saw how senselessly you mutilated the sisters and Malus. You had made them suffer as you saw fit. Mutilating them, using more painful methods of killing (stabbing in painful, but not lethal spots), and your crying came out as painful, angry screams. 

   Gale, Karlach, and Shadowheart eyed you with concern as you walked back to the camp. Usually you were singing or whistling a tune, cracking jokes to relieve the tension. 

Instead, you were focusing on how you would break the news to Arabella that her parents are dead and she is all alone. 

++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

   Astarion paces around his tent, trying to distract himself from the pit of fear in his stomach. You had never snapped at him that way- usually you just roll your eyes at him and give him a chaste kiss with a soft, “I understand if you don’t want to go, but I would appreciate it if you would come along.” 

He wasn’t sure why Arabella and her parents had been a sensitive subject or why you had insisted on looking for them when they were likely already dead. No one survives the Shadow Cursed Lands without a light source and mediocre tactical skills.

That didn’t stop him from rooting for you though- he hopes he is wrong and that you come back victorious. He wants you to be happy. Astarion enjoys seeing you succeed because that’s when you flash that brilliant grin that he has (silently) adored since the moment he met you. The reason he protested in the first place is because he knows how destroyed you would be if Arabella’s parents are dead. He doesn’t want you to hurt- for your heart to lose it’s optimism. 

 He hears you, Karlach, Shadowheart, and Gale come into camp. He steps out of the tent- hoping that you were able to achieve the outcome you wanted, that you would come parading into camp victorious.

He sees you talking to Arabella in a quiet whisper and he watches as your face contorts to hold back your own feelings as Arabella screams at you. He watches you take it- as she punches you in the stomach over and over. You just let her before she runs off. Withers says something to you quietly before you walk into your tent, closing yourself off from everyone.

 Astarion feels stuck in the entryway of his tent. He doesn’t know what to do.

 “Hey fangs,” Karlach says, offering a sad smile as she walks up to him, “you should probably know- they went over the rails after seeing Arabella’s parents.”

A look of confusion spreads across his face. What does that even mean? You were barely capable of hurting a fly!

 “Like they became upset?”

  Karlach nods with weary eyes,“They became upset and… well very, very, very violent.”

    The tadpole behind his eyes begins to squirm as he allows Karlach to show him the scene.

He didn’t think you were capable of that much destruction.  He saw angry tears slide down your face as you destroyed everything in your path. His gentle, joyful Cleric had broken in the House of Healing.

How ironic, he thinks bitterly.

He feels his own tears begin to prick his eyes as he watches you suffer through the battle- screaming and crying. He should have been there for you. He should have gone and let you be mad at him for disobeying. He hangs his head and pinches the bridge of his nose.

“She really needs you Fangs,” Karlach says to him, interrupting his train of thought.

Of course Karlach would say that as if it was the easiest thing in the world- like he hadn't been tortured and unloved for the past two centuries.

“I don’t know how to be what she needs right now,” he says in a soft voice.

It was true. He had only just expressed his feelings for you and he barely felt confident doing that to begin with. He spent two centuries seducing and manipulating whoever he could to survive. How could he be what you need right now? When he is just as much of a monster as the individuals that killed Arabella’s parents?

  Karlach contemplates this, searching Astarion’s face as if the answer to all his problems would be there. 

  “You don’t need to do anything other than being there- tell them you are sorry. Tell them you were rooting for them because I saw it in your head. Tell them that they aren't alone,” Karlach pauses before saying, “And remind them that they are a good person- that Lliira wouldn’t abandon her in her suffering.”

Despite his fear and reluctance, he thanks Karlach for the advice and walks towards your tent. 

   ++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

    Your body is shaking violently as your chest tightens and painful, silent sobs come out of your mouth. You are trying (and failing) to use your hand as a sound barrier.

It’s not about you, it’s about Arabella, you remind yourself, stop being so selfish. 

Except the images are back, you are small again, helpless again, alone, and afraid. Despite your effort, Arabella has been given the same fate and in the same breath, you turned away from your Goddess. You lost yourself in the fight, you were aware of this while it was happening. You just didn’t have it in you to care anymore. 

You hear footsteps approach your tent- you do the best to rub away the tears and snot.

 It’s not about you. 

You hear Astarion’s voice on the other side of the tent flap. 

 “Little love,” he says softly, “can I please come in?”

You laugh, your voice hoarse, “Come to tell me ‘I told you so?’ To gloat and laugh? If that is your intention, then no. You will need to wait one to five business days before you can do that.”

   You don’t hear him laugh at your humorous response as he usually does. He enters the tent and you feel him sit down behind you, his legs on either side of yours. He’s tense as he puts his arms around you from behind, pulling you in between his legs. He slowly relaxes against your body, putting his face in the crook of your neck. 

 “I’m sorry Little Love. I wanted to be wrong. I just knew how much it would… hurt you if the outcome wasn’t… well.”

 You sniff, choking back a sob as he begins drawing shapes on the back of your shaking hands. 

“It’s okay my love. You can let it out. I’m here for you. You aren’t alone.”

 Despite how clumsy and awkward it was said, that sentence alone broke whatever composure you still had. You cry and scream into your hand as Astarion holds onto you as if you are about to fly away and he is your anchor. Your breath is shallow and it’s hard to breathe as you suffocate on your grief and panic. You feel him ask for access to your mind, wanting to know how to help. So, you show him and you let all your grief pour into your cries. You feel his own tear mix with yours as he cries into your neck as he endures how you feel with you- as he watches your whole life fall apart because of one ambush over and over again.  

  He continues to trace patterns on your hands, asking you to focus on him and what he is doing, reminding you to breathe as you do for him when he is distressed.

  You begin to calm as you focus on his voice, focus on his delicate fingers tracing your skin, and for once, you don’t feel so alone. You scoot forward, gently removing his arms , and turn around to face him, your tearful eyes meeting his.

He grabs your face gently and kisses your forehead as silent tears roll down both of your faces. You look down at your hands before speaking.

“I thought… I thought I could help Arabella be reunited with her family,” you say in a gravely whisper, “I had hoped she wouldn’t be alone like I was, but now…”

  You suck in a harsh breath and look at your hands, “Gods, I am naive and stupid.”

 “No- you do not get to talk about my favorite person that way,” Astarion says sharply.

 You look up in surprise at the intensity of his words. He matches your eyes with a look of adoration, guilt, and a ferocity you have never seen before.

 “Little Love, you are not naive and you are not stupid,” He pauses, to kiss one of your hands and intertwines your fingers together, “you are so good without trying because that is who you are. You experienced hardship and you didn’t let it destroy you. You didn’t become a monster.”

 He looks at your face to gauge your reaction. You sit quietly, letting him continue to speak if he chooses so he does.

 “You… you are amazing and a bright light in the darkness. You are my moon, my compass, and you have shown me parts of myself I didn’t know existed,” he clears his throat before continuing.

 “ I hate to see you hurt, but I promise I will be here to help you through your suffering,” He stares into your eyes intensely, “for as long as you will have me.” 

  You pause, taking in everything he has just said to you. You felt like a star dying, exploding in the cosmos. You feel evil and wrong for the violence you inflicted on the Sisters and Malus in your need for revenge. Your actions were not of Lliira's will.

 “I don’t know if that’s who I am anymore, Star. I engaged in senseless violence… I don’t think Lliira will forgive me- and if she does, it won’t be easy to obtain her forgiveness,” you say glumly. 

 He grabs your other hand in his and offers a soft smile. 

“Then we will work together to get you back into favor with your Goddess and I will remind you everyday who you are until you believe in yourself again,” he says before leaving a chaste kiss on your lips.

You smile despite yourself, your chest glowing with warmth as you stare into his eyes. You know Astarion detests the Gods, but the fact that he was willing to help you made your eyes tear up again. You are horribly desperately in love with him and as much as you want to tell him that, you practice restraint. There is a time and place- that time is not now, not when the relationship just began.

 “And what if I need it everyday for the rest of your Immortal life?” You say half-joking and half-afraid of his answer.

 A wide, genuine grin spreads across Astarion’s face as your words register in his mind. 

They want me to stay. They want me to be by their side-even when this is all done.

    Astarion pulls you into his lap, your legs straddling his hips as he pulls you into him and presses a soft kiss against your neck before laying his head on your shoulder. 

“Then I will stay by your side. Forever.”

[glitter-stained]

I'm always thinking about Jason because fixation so my judgement is biaised because every song I listen to makes me think about at least one of my Jasons, but here are some songs though were definitely written for and about canon Jason Todd, and I will take no criticism (but you are definitely welcome to add your own songs):

-Take me To War, by The Crane Wives

>"But I keep snapping at Goliath hands with all of my tiny might"/ "All of the fire I swallowed, all of the sparks that went down in my guts, I am always burning out"/ "I'll be the sweetest thing to ever scare you"

The Robin -> Red Hood transition is so seamless

-Little Soldiers by the Crane Wives

> "On the broken back of all the words we spared, Like little soldiers in the trenches; It was a march we made towards ruin and despair, But we held hands all the while"

I always rant about how how Jason's character and story is centered around love, this is the song that plays in my head while I'm yapping

-Blue Lips by Regina Spektor

> "He took a step but then felt tired, He said I'll rest a little while; but when he tried to walk again, he wasn't a child"

If you ever wanna be sad about Jason's resurrection, catatonia and stolen childhood, this is the song to listen to

-The Horrors and The Wild by The Amazing Devil

"Think of all the horrors that I promised I'd bring, I promise they'll sing of every Time you passed your fingers through my hair and called me child, Witness me old man I am the Wild"

> If Under The Red Hood has one song it's this one

-The Old Witch Sleep and The Good Man Grace by The Amazing Devil

"There's a fire burning/And I'm learning to be/So much more than my tiredness/ So much more than that old witch sleep wishes/ She kisses my eyelids, and I/Breathe"

> If Red Hood: Lost Days (minus the gross bits) has one song it's this one

-Elsa's song by The Amazing Devil

>"And you'll throw some sage and lillies/ And roses where I'll rot/ Of all the flowers you picked/I knew you would forget/ Forget-me-nots"

idk who Elsa is this is about how Jason was grieved but he wasn't remembered

(Yeah I'm pretty convinced that at least either Madeline Hyland or Joey Batey read Under the Red Hood so many of their songs fit so well I restrained myself to three but there are so many)

-A Burning Hill by Mitski

>"I'm tired of wanting more, I think I'm finally worn/ For you have a way of promising things/ And I've been a forest fire"

Jason admitting loss and giving up on begging Bruce is something that can be so personal actually

-Heaven Knows by The Pretty Reckless

>"Now you're on your knees with your head hung low/ Big Man tell you where to go/ Tell them it's good, tell them okay/Don't do a goddamn thing they say"

Crime Alley united!!! Also, "tell the big guy I said hello" :))) (the God/Batman amalgam in Death in the Family is such an incredible one-liner and works so well for Jason omg)

-For the Departed by Shayfer James

>"Now I must finished what I started/I'll write a symphony for the departed/And I have no time for second chances/ So I survive on bourbon blood and backward glances"

The amount of angst, dramatics and intense devotion to his cause at the cost of his life, the literature references, everything about this song? Jason at his angstiest for sure

-Goodbye by Bo Burnham

> "If I wake up in a house that's full of smoke I'll panic/So call me up and tell me a joke/ When I'm fully irrelevant and totally broken dammit/ Call me up and tell me a joke /Oh shit/ You're really joking at a time like this"

exploded warehouse parallel aside, this song feels like not being able to heal because you're not capable of asking for what you really need, wanting to come back but feeling like you aren't allowed to because it would ruin you or the you that was shaped by other's perception of you and most importantly, begging to matter and to have mattered. So. Jason.

[marimayscarlett]

Americans are going thru it today, is there any way you could bless us with sweet facts about Rammstein and Richard? Thanks for your help, I know I absolutely live for your detailed posts, they're my favorite ❤️❤️

Hi 👋

First of all, my heart goes out to all American citizens who hoped, voted and fought for a different outcome. We live in very surreal and scary times and I just wish you all lots of strength and calmness for your minds 🍀🤍

Now on to some other, hopefully uplifting/interesting enough things to get your mind of things - maybe not all sweet ones, since I grabbed them from the top of my head so to speak and searched for the sources afterward, yet I hope they provide a little bit of distraction:

tiny little fact I love: Richard is actually a proper country boy. Eventhough he was born in the city of Wittenberge, he lived up until he was 7 in the german countryside in the little village of Weisen, which according to Google has 997 inhabitants. "That was a beautiful childhood with alot of nature, cats and dogs and a big family with two siblings."

as the most memorable (or miserable) jobs he ever worked in, Richard listed the following: window cleaner (since he suffers from vertigo), making shoes and selling them, going through an apprentinceship for becoming a cook and cleaning for an old lady who had stuffed poodles in her apartment.

if he could timetravel, Richard would choose to visit the period of the Knights Templar, 11th century, since he feels rather drawn to this history era.

a little fact about Richard and the gifts he gets from fans to his door step I think about regularly with mixed feelings: "I myself got a rose on my doorstep every day for years. Sure, it's nice - you always have roses at home, but there are so many unpleasant feelings involved. For a while, someone always left cigarettes in my mailbox. My brother always had to smoke the first one!"

Richard took singing lessons with a coach who also worked with Mick Jagger. Said coach scolded Richard a lot due to him smoking right before class - in one interview Richard mentioned he was so intimidated by that coach that he was ready to call his parents to pick him up. But he went through with it and worked a lot on his voice, which became quite beneficial for his singing.

Apparently, the idea of the infamous Flake-stew during "Mein Teil" came from Richard, who then actually was less than enthusiastic for his own idea: "I had the idea of Flake being cooked in the pot, then I realized, the first time we actually did it onstage, that it was too convenient, just stupid or not even funny, whatever. So I said, ‘I hate it’. But by that time, the rest of them had done it and loved it…"

The band actually considered various names before they settled for 'Rammstein': Tempelprayers, Mutter (mother), Milch (milk), Erde (earth).

A well known fact or rather, legend, but I think about it a lot: Richard recorded the whistling for 'Engel' it true chaotic composer fashion, namely while he was taking a bath and was struck by creativity. The band apparently didn't manage to record a better version, so his version was used for the song.

some song recommendations by Richard - these were his favourites back in 2009: 'Hurt' by Nine Inch Nails, 'Baby I'm gonna leave you' by Led Zeppelin, 'Sin City' by AC/DC and 'Personal Jesus' by Depeche Mode 🎶

I hope this helped at least a tiny bit! Sending you all the good and cosy vibes you might need 🤲🏼

Have some cuddly R+ guys for emotional support:

Sources: Rockhard magazine wir.sehen.euch rammwiki Emigrate Kerrang rammwiki Rammstein

[fruitgummies01]

So I managed to get time tonight to see Jung Kook's 'I Am Still' documentary, and I have many thoughts lol.

Spoiler Free Review

JK is so ridiculously talented. I'm sure it was already obvious. but seeing him in the studio, recording his first album, was amazing. He has such a unique ear for music, and it was impressive to hear him in the studio with his English-speaking producers in the U.S. JK repeatedly talked about how nervous he was whenever he was doing something new, and the astounding thing is you could never tell. His nervousness never showed. He was always delivering at such a high level, that you could never tell in any of his performances. Hearing his luscious vocals and tone in surround sound in a loud theater was worth the price of admission alone.

Spoiler Filled Review Below

There's honestly not too much to spoil. If you watched many of JK's performances during his promo run, you probably have already seen like 80% of the documentary. The TSX performance in Times Square, GMA, Global Citizens Festival, the Golden Live on Stage Showcase, and one of the performances he did in the UK were all highlighted. It's crazy that JK was sick through so much of his promo run. One of the only times he mentioned in the documentary that he was feeling in good condition was for the TSX performance. It was also very obvious how much JK's staff loves him. The fact that they were always taking care of him and asking how he slept, and would cheer if he slept well was sweet.

The behind-the-scenes of Jung Kook recording Standing Next to You, going to the doctor before his GMA performance, and the cutting of his hair all felt like the most significant scenes to me that were actually new. JK recording SNTY really showcased his genius as a musically gifted artist. I mentioned this earlier in my spoiler-free section but JK has a remarkable ear for music, and the fact he could hear a note sung by a producer, immediately knew what they wanted and how to sing it, and deliver it back despite the language barrier was insane. Even though JK was too humble to admit it in the documentary, he 1000% is a musical genius with an innate natural ability that can't be taught.

In terms of appearances by other members, there was not much. While rehearsing Permission to Dance for Global Citizen Festival (I think lol) JK mentioned that Jin and Jimin drive him crazy because of how high their parts are in the song, and that fact he had to sing their parts 😅. He visited Barnes and Noble and saw all the members albums. Tae made a suuuuuper awkward appearance while JK was recording lol. JK's one-arm sideways half hug (with his other hand still in his pocket) made me laugh. Next, Jimin. I have no idea if JK had any input on how the documentary was put together, but Jimin making an appearance at the very end, being one of the last things included, actually felt so meaningful. JK had just buzzed off the rest of his hair, had finished recording Never Let Go, and went to find Jimin. Seeing Jimin's full body reaction to seeing JK's hair for the first time felt equal parts funny and emotional. JK leaned into Jimin as Jimin rubbed his head and then asked him how it looked, like he needed his encouragement at that moment. I thought it was really touching. The scene with Jimin and the scene with his barber/hairstylist who cried after cutting JK's hair felt like two of the most personal scenes in the film that didn't have to do with JK as the artist, but with Jung Kook the person.

This leads me to a few of my issues. While I loved it, I did at times find myself wishing it was a little more personal. A lot of time was spent on interviews with his English-speaking producers who worked on Golden and their thoughts, but thankfully PDogg and Son Sung Deuk were also included to add some much-needed insight into Jung Kook as a person. (I don't want to get flamed for mentioning it, but I really hated seeing Scooter appear, but thankfully he remained in the background during Seven's recording.) The jumping around in time didn't really work for me either, but maybe it's because I was crazy locked in during that time and know the exact order in which his performances happened lol. I also wonder why they didn't include more rehearsal or practice dance footage. They included sooo many full performances from Golden Live on Stage and so much hard work and preparation had to have gone into pulling that off, so it was a little surprising not to see much behind-the-scenes content from it. Or maybe BigHit is saving that footage to use at a later time, which would be very like them lol.

Overall, I would HIGHLY recommend everyone watch 'I Am Still' to see Jung Kook's genius at work on the big screen!!! For a 1 hour and 33 minute documentary , it was time very well spent. Again thank you again to the anon who messaged me asking for my review, this very very long review is really all your fault haha. 😅

[billsbabydoll]

“𝒾 𝓁ℴ𝓋ℯ 𝓎ℴ𝓊 𝓂ℴ𝓇ℯ.”

contains:PURE FLUFF<3

summary:me and tom have been having a 2 year long friends with benefits relationship since he moved to LA, and id be lying if this hasnt caused me to build real romantic feelings.today i decided to finally speak up, soon out finding i wasnt the only one feeling them too!

WARNINGS:cringe fluff lol, friends with benefits, situationship, crush confession, kissing, new found relationship.

me and tom knew each other from various mutual friends who then later introduced us to each other once at a party, that night tom and me slept together and have been ever since for the last two years.

other then that me and tom had quickly grown closer and closer as time went on, we were best friends (who hooked up occasionally), we talked about everything, he even once told me if he didnt marry anyone hed just end up marrying me, which i mean i wouldnt be complaining.

all the small flirting, the pet-names, the “casual fucking” seemed completely meaningless to him, i wonder if he was just trying to play it cool like he always did.but to me it was far from meaningless and in reality it was really driving me crazy.he understood me as well i understood him, he made me feel things no other man had ever made me feel, i know its cheesy but he gave me butterflies.

everytime he would introduce me to his new girlfriend of the month i wished i was that girl, the jealousy and envy coursed through my veins every single time.

that girl he was hugging, kissing, touching, calling “baby” should really be me.

today tom called asking if i wanted to go get some lunch and then watch the sunset at the beach, this was a common occurrence of ours so of course i quickly accepted.

tom soon came to pick me up, honking the horn of his car as a sign to “hurry the fuck up”.i quickly rushed out of the door, rushing into his vehicle closing the car-door as i sat down.

“hii dollll.” he said in a sing-song voice with that same little smirk he always had, looking me up and down before beginning to pull out of my driveway onto the road.

“heyy tomm, where are we stopping for lunch?” i replied nervously trying to not be bothered by the use of his pet-name and the way he looked me up down.

“oh you know already where babe, your favorite obviously.” he replied nonchalantly as he continued driving his eyes focused on the road, unaware of the pink blush spreading across my cheeks.

i nodded thinking to myself, “should i just tell him today, what if he doesnt feel what im feeling too, what if he gets upset?”a billion what ifs filled my head.

after a few minutes of driving we finally arrived at my favorite restaurant here in town, he parked the car before getting out of the car first, coming to my side to open the door for me.

i stepped out of the car with an appreciative smile as he shut the car door and took my hand in his, leading me inside the restaurant.he had already called and made a reservation so we were quickly seated, we were ushered to our booth by our waiter before sitting down tom on one side of the booth me on the other, the waiter then asked for our drink orders before slipping away.

the waiter later came back with our drinks placing them down, giving us a minute to settle in and to take a look at the menu, before coming back and taking our orders and quickly scurrying away.

“so hows work been tom, you and bill still working on some new lyrics?”

“yeahhh, ive been going to bills place everyday trying to work on theses lyrics but me and him keep clashing so who knows if well even finish a single fucking song.”he chuckled, looking down at his drink as he swirled the straw in the glass.

“how about you babe, you still at your miserable 9-5 job?”

i sighed dramatically at the mention of my job it was hell and tom knew how much i hated it, it was quite literally hell on earth.

“yup unfortunately i swear that place is gonna be the death of me!” i joked with a smile tugging at the corners of my lips.

we continued catching up for a bit, until the waiter soon arrived back with our meals, placing them down on the table.we thanked the waiter before digging into our plates continuously conversating throughout the meal, laughing and joking like we always did.

after we finished eating tom insisted on paying like he always did, afterwards we made our way out of the restaurant back into his car.now driving towards venice beach, making a quick stop at the gas station to pick up a pack of beer and some cigarettes.

now we were sitting on the sand, taking in the view of the pinkish-orange sky, the birds flying above, the sound of the waves crashing against the shore.i could just stay here forever with him, but every fantasy has its reality and it was now or never if i wanted this future with him i had to say something.

“tom i need to tell you something..”i spoke up anxiously taking a huge swig of beer from my bottle trying to pump myself for what was to come, looking up slowly meeting his eyes.

“okay whats up?”he answered curiously.

“i love you,i- i mean uhh..tom you mean everything to me and i know were just friends and when we hook up its just sex but i really like you and ive really tried to stop and i cant!-”

suddenly my nervous rambling was stopped by his lips pressing against mine.the lips that i only kissed for sex were now kissing mine sweetly, slowly, and delicately.

he was first to pull away, looking into my eyes with awe and love, pushing a strand of my hair behind my ear before cupping the side of my cheek with his hand, rubbing his thumb gently against my skin.

“i love you more.” he whispered his voice content and sincere, a small grin growing on his lips.

“you dont know how fucking long i was waiting for you to say something baby.”he added.

i laughed not only feeling relieved that my feelings were reciprocated but happy he wasn’t upset nor angry!it felt as if a 100 pound weight has been lifted off my shoulders.

“why didnt you say anything tom?!”

“i was scared of ruining the friendship!”

“YOU WERE SCARED?!”

“YES!”

we both continued laughing at each other and at the fact of us both being too afraid of each others rejection to confess to one another, sharing a couple more giggles and few kisses before tom then began to speak up again.

“so does this mean your my girlfriend now babe?”he asked with a tone of seriousness and anticipation.

“yeah if you stop bringing those “girlfriends of the month” around.”i replied a soft giggle escaping my lips, playfully placing a kiss on his cheek.

“you got it gorgeous.”

THE END

[imagitory]

Review: Wish (2023) [SPOILERS]

Evening, everyone! Tonight my mother and I went to go see Disney's most recent film, Wish, which fortunately came to theaters in my area right before its formal American release date. I'd been very curious to see how this tribute to Disney's last 100 years of filmmaking would turn out, and now that I've seen it...well, I have to be honest, I was a little disappointed. I want to be very clear both that I was going into this with a rather sunny outlook and that there are things I really liked in this film...but overall, it felt like a lot of the good ideas it had were only half-baked, and I found myself -- forgive me -- "wishing for something more" than what we got.

For a more comprehensive deep-dive...a cut!

The Good!

+The single best element in this film for me was Chris Pine's performance as our villain, Magnifico. There are definitely some things I can critique about Magnifico's overall storyline and "character arc" further down, but Chris was clearly having a grand old time being an egotistical, sassy jerkwad, and it totally showed. Even in his villain song This is The Thanks I Get?, which just screamed "passive-aggressive abusive parent," you can hear how much fun Chris was having in the studio, recording it. I just about always enjoyed when Magnifico was on screen, and I actually did really like the idea that a lot of his villainy is rooted in him being obsessed with control over everyone and everything. In a weird way, Magnifico's turn to the Dark Side parallels Anakin Skywalker's in the sense that he lost so much in the past that he's determined to never lose anything important to him again -- especially the power he's accrued to make himself feel strong, after having felt so powerless. I find that very interesting, and I kind of wish that aspect was really highlighted more in the story, but we'll talk about that later.

+Asha was a likable enough heroine, even if I found her to be a lot like a two-way fusion of Mulan and Anna placed in a vaguely Snow-White-ish role in her clearly Seven-Dwarf-inspired friend group. Ariana DeBose portrayed her rather well, both acting and singing-wise. I also liked the "social justice" bent to Asha's character where she wants better things not just for herself and her family, but also Rosas overall -- in the French translation of her main song "This Wish," they even push this further by having Asha wish "to see the world happy again someday." We haven't seen a heroine really express this kind of desire for a positive change in the world since Esmeralda in The Hunchback of Notre Dame, and that's cool! Plus representation in mainstream media for previously underrepresented groups is always nice. ^.^

+As much as I don't think they all got enough focus as individuals, I liked Asha's friend group! Especially the fact that it is a friend group made up of people that are around the same age as our protagonist, which -- let's be honest -- isn't that common for Disney heroines. Often with "sidekick groups," you're more likely to have situations like Cinderella with the mice (who are more like cutesy sidekicks than equals) or Snow White with the Dwarfs (who are all quite a bit older than our heroine)...so a friend group made up of peers with their own personalities and motivations was kind of fun.

+The setting of Rosas itself could be pretty. I liked a lot of the Mediterranean-inspired architecture, especially inside Magnifico's tower.

+The combination of 3D and 2D-esque animation was also interesting! It really served to give the film its own distinctive visual style that sets it apart from other Disney projects, which I always appreciate.

+Star was...cute. Obviously just designed to sell plushies and definitely reminded me way too much of Kirby, but cute enough. I do think it's kind of cool that they're never gendered at all in the entire movie, because it'd be silly to think of a sweet little androgynous ball of stardust as being specifically male or female.

+I liked the idea of Simon "betraying" Asha, only to be turned into a pawn by Magnifico in the process, but not being treated unsympathetically by the story for it. Didn't love the full execution of the idea, but hey, that's what the negative section is for.

+The idea of everyone finding the power inside of themselves to stand up against Magnifico (because they're "all stars," and presumably all have the magic needed to make their wishes come true) was a little predictable, but still sweet. I have problems with how the film wrote it (which we'll get to), but the idea itself was wholesome and fitting.

+I like several of the songs, just on their own -- I added This Wish and Knowing What I Know Now on my ITunes as soon as I first heard them prior to the film's release, and now I've added At All Costs too: it's a really pretty duet! (Gorgeous work, Chris and Ariana!) I'll leave my praise here, though, because sadly the soundtrack is going to get a lot of discussion in the less positive section.

The Not-So-Good...

+This film being "Disney's 100th anniversary film" really got in the way of this movie telling a compelling and unique story sometimes. The whole movie really twisted itself into a pretzel trying to check off all the usual Disney tropes, and there were points that certain choices made the story seem incredibly stilted. For instance, one common Disney trope is a dead parent, so of course Asha has lost her father -- but we learn so little about him and he ends up playing such a small role in Asha's arc and story that it seems like an unnecessary detail. Asha's grandfather honestly plays more of a role in Asha's motivation throughout most of the film, so it would've made just as much sense to have Asha's grandfather be the one who believed in stars having power, rather than her father. Another example is the concept of the cute animal sidekick who's just there to make jokes -- as much as Valentino the goat didn't annoy me personally, he added just about nothing of value to the story whatsoever aside from comic relief, in contrast to other funny sidekicks like Sebastian from The Little Mermaid or Olaf from Frozen, who also serve a plot purpose and have a developed relationship with the protagonists. Then there's Asha being cut from the same "naive, awkward, wide-eyed idealist" cloth as many of our Disney Revival heroines like Anna, Rapunzel, and up to a certain point even Mirabel are; Star being in a similar vein to cutesy, innocent sidekicks like Pua, Crikee, and Baymax while Valentino is more akin to sassier, comic ones like Mushu and Sisu; her friends literally being based on the Seven Dwarfs from Snow White; our heroine getting a pretty standard "I Want" song and the villain getting his own solo number that doesn't really take any risks...oh yes, and we mustn't forget the trope of the Storybook opening, which (I'm sorry) I know was supposed to be a reference to Snow White, Cinderella, and Enchanted, but just gave me Shrek vibes the entire time. I was waiting for Shrek to rip out the page and use it for toilet paper any minute. It just felt a lot of the time like the movie was very paint-by-numbers, rather than throwing in much that was surprising or different.

+This isn't even touching all of the pointless meta references to other Disney movies. Asha wearing the Fairy Godmother's cloak and getting a wand like hers at the end -- the mushrooms crowing "we love crazy!" the way Hans did in Love is an Open Door -- Asha riding the reindeer the way Kristoff did in Frozen 2 -- Magnifico using green smoke hands a la Ursula -- the ending with those obvious Wendy and Peter Pan look-alikes, come on, really??? That was just painful.

+As much as Magnifico was an awesome idea for a character and Chris Pine's performance was beyond entertaining, the movie did not always write him as well as they could've. From the very start, we see this guy is an egotistical control freak -- obsessed with his own image, incredibly hard-to-please, arrogant, vain, desperate for attention and unwavering praise and adoration from all of his subjects, and determined to keep an iron grip on everyone else's wishes because of the power it gives him. He's ALREADY a terrible person, from the start -- and yet the film tries to introduce this dark magic book that gets no explanation or backstory whatsoever and has no real characterization or presence, so it leaves no real impact on the audience corrupting him and making him a bad person, when it didn't need to! Magnifico was already the villain this film needed! Just let him fall head-first into madness without the book prompting anything! Even if Magnifico "lost everything" in the past, that doesn't make him a good person, if he takes everyone's wishes away from them and hoards them all to himself, only to grant a few now and again when it would make him look good.

+This above point actually leads nicely into one change I really, really wish the film had been ballsy enough to make -- have Asha already be Magnifico's apprentice, not trying to become it at the start of the story. Give our villain and hero a real relationship, with history that started before the events of this film! Asha lost her father at the age of 12...how interesting would it have been -- whether to make Magnifico more of an anti-villain or show how manipulative he really is -- if he'd tried to fill that fatherly role for our main character and twist her to serve his ends? What if At All Costs was rewritten to be about Magnifico not just being determined to hold onto all of the kingdom's wishes, but also this apprentice he sees as an extension of him and his legacy, while Asha is determined to protect this Star she's accidentally summoned and the suppressed wish of hers it represents? This change would've made Asha's break with Magnifico so much more powerful for both of them -- it would've both justified Magnifico's descent into madness and given Asha more reason to feel like it was her responsibility to stop Magnifico. You even could've then played more with Asha's relationship with Queen Amaya too, in this kind of a scenario.

+Oh yeah, and on that note, Queen Amaya. OOH, this really annoyed me -- okay. So this woman is supposed to be a good guy, in this story. But as I touched on earlier, Magnifico was already a pretty awful person, hoarding people's wishes away in order to make himself powerful. Was Amaya truly so blind to that? Did she truly never question anything, ever? But no, really, she only turns on Magnifico after he starts using the dark magic book and actively threatens her. Only that makes her turn from him, and it's pretty damn immediate. Now okay, I hear you saying, it's like Amaya sings in Knowing What I Know Now, right? "The good in him, I've watched it melt // I was blinded by the love I felt"? Excuse me, lady -- but Magnifico wasn't a good person, before. He was just playing a part so as to stay powerful and adored by the masses. And if the story wants to claim otherwise, and act like that dark magic book was responsible for Magnifico going bad, then why would our Queen decide to keep him locked up in his staff's crystal forever? If the book was responsible, then Magnifico would be the Frodo or Golum to the book's One Ring -- he'd be a victim, in such a scenario: one in need of help and pity, not punishment. So either Amaya is a selfish person who only cared about her husband's mistreatment of others when it affected her, or she's a needlessly cruel person who decides to punish her husband for a vice that anyone could fall prey to. Either way, I don't want this woman ruling anyone! Make this woman a straight-up villain, same as her husband, and have the whole monarchy come crashing down after she and Magnifico both go down in flames! VIVE LA RESISTANCE! (Playing into my idea with Asha being Magnifico's apprentice all along, maybe there could even be a twist on the Evil Stepmother trope with Amaya, where she's jealous of how much Magnifico has tried to groom Asha as his apprentice, rather than spending time and/or starting a family with her or something.)

+As I touched on earlier, there wasn't even close to enough time to develop all of these characters properly. Since our heroine and friends are most similar to Snow White and her friends the Seven Dwarfs, let's compare cast size. Snow White is 83 minutes long and has a cast of ten (Snow, the Prince, the Queen, and the Dwarfs) -- Wish is 95 minutes long and has a cast of fourteen (Asha, Magnifico, Star, Valentino, Amaya, Asha's mum and grandpa, and our seven Friends). This results in us getting the vague idea that "Grumpy" role Gabo is sweet on our "Bashful" role Bazeema, but no time to develop their relationship or give it any kind of conclusion; the others saying "Sneezy" role Safi apparently loves the castle chickens with no sympathetic explanation why, to the point that he gets super excited about a chicken growing to a giant size for no real reason; "Doc" role Dahlia having a crush on Magnifico that is then dropped immediately after Asha turns against him; oldest kid and "Sleepy" role Simon feeling incomplete without the dream he gave Magnifico and "betraying" Asha as a result in an attempt to get it back, only to get stabbed in the back by Magnifico, and then have no time for a proper redemption after he's unhypnotized; Asha's grandfather turning on a dime about whether or not he wants to know what his wish was if Magnifico thought it was dangerous; Magnifico getting some justification in his backstory for his bad behavior, but Amaya's backstory being a complete black hole before she married Magnifico when you'd think it'd explain all the more why she stuck with him so long; and Asha's mum having her wish crushed to dust by Magnifico and then given back without us EVER LEARNING WHAT IT EVEN WAS IN THE FIRST PLACE, even after we see just about everyone else's wishes as soon as somebody picks it up and Asha's mum's wish gets picked up multiple times!! Come on, if you're going to set up NOT showing it, you may as well have a pay-off for it!! At least give us some moment where Asha's mum hugs her in relief and acknowledges that her daughter was her wish! That would've been a nice "aww" moment for everyone!

+Okay, I said I was going to talk about my problem with the songs, so here goes. As I said before, I listened to the soundtrack before watching the movie, and even when I did, I could immediately sense a problem: these songs did not tell me much of anything about the movie, just on their own. Welcome to Rosas, which is pretty much just an exposition dump about the kingdom and how Magnifico founded it, didn't really paint a picture of our setting or characters much at all, the way opening songs like Belle or The Family Madrigal do. This Wish, although pretty, was something I could hear just as easily on the radio -- it didn't feel as tied or necessary to understanding our heroine the way something like Part of That World does. I'm a Star, quite frankly, felt like a lot of inspirational word salad, rather than anything particularly memorable or revelatory -- why else wouldn't it even be worthy of a musical salute in the reprise, where Asha remembers that she and everyone else are stars during the climax? Even after reading summaries of the plot and spoilers from the storybook for this film, I could not figure out for the life of me how At All Costs would fit organically into such a story, being sung by our villain and hero. It wasn't until I saw the film that I saw how the filmmakers decided to fit it in and honestly...the song didn't help tell that particular scene at all. It's a really pretty song and I like it a lot -- but it lacked any of the irony or contrast that kind of a scene that introduces the difference in focus between our hero and villain required. If the scene itself is needed to understand what's supposed to be going on while the song is playing, then the song is not effectively telling the story and is therefore unnecessary. There wasn't even a particularly Spanish or Mediterranean flair to the soundtrack to help set the stage, aside from the occasional flourish of castanets -- instead it sounded very contemporary, which I guess is appropriate, since it was largely written by pop composers rather than any musical theater talent.

+There were also points where the songs felt the urge to shove in a bunch of extra words just because, rather than have the words flow well and really mean something. I'm a Star is most guilty of this, of course, but even in This is the Thanks I Get?, we hear Magnifico gripe that "I let you live here for free and I don't even charge you rent" -- mate, THAT MEANS THE SAME THING! If you live somewhere for free, then you are NOT paying rent!

+Knowing What I Know Now is a bop and I like it (aside from Amaya's stupidity), but I'm sorry, all I can think when I hear it is "This is clearly trying to be Ready as I'll Ever Be from Tangled the Animated Series, but that song blows this out of the water." However fun the song can be, it would've been so much stronger if it actually addressed the contrast between the characters and revved us up for a big final battle, instead of it just being our eight underdeveloped characters psyching each other up.

+The idea of everyone being stars was a lovely idea, but the execution of Asha remembering this fact and using it to defeat Magnifico was terribly handled. First off, there was no revelatory phrase or action that prompted Asha to remember this fact, so her suddenly saying that "they're all stars" came out of nowhere. Second, even putting aside that there'd be no way any of her friends could hear Asha from all the way up on the tower if they're stuck in the courtyard below, there's no reason I can see for Asha's friends or family to know what the hell she was even TALKING about. They weren't there when the I'm a Star number happened! And the way that number made it seem, just based on the visuals, it looked like the "star" power came from a person's dream, since it's the same glow that returns to Asha's grandfather when he gets his dream back, but most of the town's dreams have been already yanked out by Magnifico at this point! I think the idea is that since everyone is a star, even with that big piece of them and the power accompanying it taken out, they still have enough stardust inside of them to be powerful enough to chase their heart's desires...but yeah, I'm sorry, for all the word salad I'm a Star threw around, this world-building aspect was really not made clear, and because of that and the lack of a proper callback to this plot turn, the climax didn't hit as strong as it should've.

Overall, this film felt a lot like a batch of unbaked chocolate chip cookies that someone decided to throw a bunch of brightly colored sprinkles on top of, just because they could. A lot of ideas just don't feel like they were fully developed, and there was a lot tossed in that didn't contribute to the overall taste or bring the disparate elements together in a cohesive whole, instead feeling more like a distraction than anything of actual substance. That doesn't mean I couldn't eat it -- I like eating cookie dough as much as the next person -- but that doesn't mean it felt like a complete, finished product worthy of great praise. Instead I'm left looking at the wasted potential and wishing the movie had carved out its own path more, one distinctive to itself, rather than just be a mashup of previous Disney concepts and tropes. I won't act like there's nothing to like here, nor that it's completely lacking in heart: I actually would love to see fandom for this movie re-imagine it in ways that could've improved the story and characters, because there were SO many good ideas here...but for me personally, this movie left me colder than it should've and -- like Asha after meeting Magnifico -- a bit disappointed.

So I make this wish...to have Disney make a film better than this.

Overall Grade: C-

[lostdreamr-blog1]

Outrun the Future - G.Cleven Ch 2

Ch 1 Ch 3 Ch 4 Ch 5

Next chapter is here! Thanks for reading :)

CH 2

The 354th fighter squadron had settled into their new base with instructions to act civilly. The men were split up into different houses that had extra bunks while Marley was housed with the nurses. They were welcoming of the pilot and excited to have another Egan on base. Bucky had always been good to the nurses, trying to accommodate them as best as he could. Which helped Marley make friends easily.

One of the girls stood out the most to her though. Betty was from a farm down in Texas who joined the war efforts as a nurse to get away from the small-town life. Even though life on a military base wasn’t glamorous, she loved every minute of it spreading a sort of joy throughout the girls. Which is why Marley seemed to gravitate towards her. It was clear to them both that they were meant to become friends.

Word spread fast that the female pilot was Major Egan’s sister. She was now untouchable as Bucky had zero issues putting his men in place. Buck on the other hand was intrigued by the girl. It wasn’t every day they found a woman who could out fly them in a smaller and faster plane. But she was just as loud and outgoing as the other Egan. Something he learned quickly when she joined them that evening at the Officer’s Mess.

Marley walked into the crowded building, immediately finding her brother and his blonde friend by the bar. “So, this is what the bombers do for fun?” Bucky threw his arm around his sisters’ shoulders. “You fighter pilots only wish you had this much fun. Lucky for you, you now get to experience the true perks of war.” Marley rolled her eyes, “Yeah, lucky our base was bombed.” Buck had a small smile on his face as he listed to the two go back and forth.

“What made you pick P-51’s?” Marley turned her attention to the other man that was with them. “I was never one for team sports. Plus having nine other lives on my hands isn’t something that interested me. If I go down, the only person I have to blame is myself.” Bucky scoffed at the answer. “You and Buck will get along great. He doesn’t do sports in general.”

Before Marley could ask why, a new song started up. Her eyes lit up as she turned to her brother nearly bouncing with joy. “You know what this song is missing?” The matching smile made Buck shake his head. “Dear god.” He watched as the siblings danced their way up to the stage, taking the one mic and singing the worst possible version of the song. Neither of them was on tune, but something about the enthusiasm they sang with had everyone in the room laughing.

As the song ended, the two of them took a bow and made their way back to the bar. “See! I told you that song was missing vocals.” Bucky clapped his friend on the back and took a long swig of his beer. All Buck could do was shake his head.

***

The night went on and Marley found herself a little too sober for the men around her. It was one of the few traits she didn’t share with her brother and that was her dislike of alcohol. She would drink a beer maybe two, but the appeal wasn’t there. So, she slipped out the door as her brother was distracted with retelling some story about a unicorn.

The base outside was quiet with the higher ups planning or sleeping while the rest of the men and some women drank as if they wouldn’t make it through tomorrow. For some of them, it might very well be their last.

Not wanting to head to bed yet, Marley climbed up on one of the B-17’s and sat with her legs hanging over the edge. The sky was dark for once. Back at her base, flak could be seen littering the sky at all hours of the night. The Brits always ran their missions during the dark hours, making clear skies like this few and far between. She took advantage while she could and leaned her head back, taking in the cluster of stars.

It didn’t take long before footsteps could be heard and then the sound of metal groaning as weight was put against the plane. “This seat taken?” The gruff voice of Buck Cleven filled the air, surprising her a bit.

She motioned to the spot next to her and watched as he gracefully sat down. “What brings you out here, Major?”

The blonde-haired pilot leaned back on his hands and replied, “Thought I would turn in early but saw someone sitting on my plane. Wanted to make sure no funny business was going on.” Her laugh in turn made him smile. It was a sound he could see himself getting used to.

“Well, Major. I am happy to report that there is indeed no funny business going on here. Although I had no idea this was your plane. I can get down if that makes you more comfortable.” When he shook his head at her, she mirrored his position and leaned back on her hands, resuming her star gazing.

“Do you know any constellations?” It was her turn to shake her head. “Can’t say I do. But I do enjoy making some up. Like that one over there kinda looks like an angry cat.” Buck chuckled at the response and decided not to show her the ones he knew. Her version of constellations seemed more entertaining.

The two sat in a comfortable silence for a while until Marley asked, “Have you been up yet?” There was an underlying meaning to her question and Buck picked up on it. The words themselves were simple but what she really wanted to know is if he knew what was waiting for them up there.

So, he let out a breath and nodded his head. “Last week was my first mission. Was more of a wakeup call than anything.”

Marley tore her gaze from the stars and looked at him. She saw the way his jaw was clenching, muscles not as relaxed as before. It was clear the mission didn’t go as planned and the harsh realities met him head on. “I’m sorry to hear that. Seems like it’s the same no matter what kind of plane you fly.”

He sighed, “Bucky was here a few weeks before the rest of us. I was angry at first when he didn’t clue us into what it was really like. But the more I thought about it, the more I knew there was no words to even describe what it’s like flyin’ those skies. We lost too many good men that day.”

All Marley could do was nod her head. She wasn’t lying when she said it was the same for them as well. “I didn’t tell John what was really going on for that exact reason. Once I got my wings, I had plans to write him. Tell him how hard I worked to get the position I did. But the first mission went by, and I knew if I told him I was a pilot, he would lose it. Our first mission we lost 14 fighter pilots. 14 planes went down in the matter of seconds, and it felt like a slap in the face. So, I kept the secret to myself and prayed for both of us that nothing would happen. Damn air raid screwed that up for me though.”

 Buck had turned his full attention to the girl, noticing for the first time the scars that peppered the side of her face. How her brother had missed that earlier, he didn’t know. But it was clear she had seen more than what any of them would’ve wished.

“How many missions have you been on?” He watched as she bit her lip, making him almost nervous to hear the answer.

“Would you accept ‘too many’?” Marley had a small smile on her face, trying to lessen the tension in the air. Another trait her and Bucky shared. The day Bucky was in full serious mode was the day he knew things had gone to shit. Marley seemed to be the same.

“I’ll accept whatever you want to tell me. I know that question is personal.” The girl saw a sliver into how good of a man Gale Cleven was. A gem that needed to be locked away for safe keeping.

“Eight so far. Our group started a little bit before yours and can fly more often. Not having to replace an entire crew when we go down, unlike the 100th.”  There was a short pause, “I hate to ask this of you, but can you keep that last bit of information from my brother? I’d like to keep him naïve as long as possible.”

Buck nodded his head without hesitation. “Bucky doesn’t need to know we talked at all. I know there must be some added stress to your days now with sharing a base.”

The snort that came from Marley had him chuckling. “That’s putting it lightly.” She sighed, “Bucky spent his whole life looking out for me. Just this once I want to be able to look out for him. Even if that means keeping him in the dark for as long as possible.”

And just as Marley learned how good of a man Gale Cleven was, he saw the same of her.  

A/N: Thoughts? Likes or dislikes? Thank you for reading!

-C

[ketaks]

“so, why Atlantis?”

I shared some very quick and informal thoughts a while back on why I hoped enough children grew up with the movie (or are discovering it now) to be influenced by Kida despite her exclusion from the “Disney Princess” brand; or by Milo as an unconventional hero who might remind them of themselves. that post received a couple of standout personal additions from mutuals, so I thought I would share my own “Atlantis story” whether anyone asked for it or not, because it is a bit different. it’s a so-so sample of my writing to lead with and came out schmaltzier than intended; but it’s how my pen happened to hit the paper in the moment and shows pretty clearly my typical romanticism, for better or worse.

I was eight years old on opening day in 2001 and as ecstatic as a little girl could be. my mom and I had taken a day trip to see my dad, who out of the goodness of his heart had agreed to sit through a local children’s entertainer in the afternoon and then a Disney movie in the evening. but in between singing puppets and my difficulty keeping still and responding as expected to questions and social cues, his patience started wearing and my mom slipping into a helpless bystander role. when we got to the theater, I had a gut feeling nobody was in for a fun time.

“two adults, one child for Atlantis,” my dad groaned at the ticket window.

I felt I was sitting between one person having teeth pulled and another smiling for the most awkward photos of her life. my mom was always my animated movie buddy, so her silence especially was deafening. her chuckle at Milo in the boiler room was a pin dropping, and her breath in on Helga’s “ho, ho, ho” was a disquieting hiss.

…alright, my dad finally motioned as the Leviathan tore across the screen.

“they talk so fast, it’s hard for me to understand them. and there aren’t even any songs,” was the most explanation my mom would give. the ride home was long, silent, and pitch-black as I lay across the backseat. I wanted to know what happened to Milo, but the wooziness of shame swirling through me let me know that wanting wasn’t even worth it.

pin trading was at its peak the next year at Disney World, and I was on a mission to fill my new pink lanyard with all my favorite characters before the trip was done. in very little time I found myself gazing up at a cast member wearing a Milo pin, and I shocked myself how quickly I asked her for it. I hoped holding onto it would reassure me that that wonderful story and character would wait for me as long as I needed.

watching the movie in high school felt a bit like the very rare party I was lucky enough to inexplicably find myself. I loved what I saw, but I felt my simply being there was a fluke. I wondered at first why I struggled to enjoy beyond arm’s length, but the damage was still in effect. it only reminded me again what I wished every single day: that my brain had kept developing normally, and all the things my autism either distorted or outright forbid would have happened exactly as they were meant. and since attitudes toward special interests had far to go, what would have fed me soup and covered me in kisses at age six could only visit through the glass at sixteen.

the days of LiveJournal and early Tumblr and Instagram came and went, and “Disney adult” culture went from a trickle to a wave. I attended community college as an English major and met my sister-bestie @scp-113 there on Halloween 2013, she dressed as Violet Parr and I as Minnie Mouse. our Anna and Elsa cosplay just a month later on opening night of Frozen couldn’t have been more fitting. a decade later, she made my dream come true of finally seeing Disney World as an adult, and no planning could have prepared me for the personal growth that trip would inspire. I loved throwing my arms around Mirabel in the Magic Kingdom because of, not despite, the emotional control that had finally taken hold at thirty. I wouldn’t have traded that interaction for the one awaiting the costumed little girl right behind me. that realization shook me to the bone.

“don’t cry because it’s over. smile because it happened,” my dad would tell me countless times since childhood with only the best intentions. “I haven’t been able to stop smiling,” I told him week after week following my trip. falling asleep for months scrolling back through those four special days was the most satisfying thing ever.

then one night, deep within a Magic Kingdom dream like any other, there they were. Milo Thatch and Princess Kida, just as they appeared in the “rare character guide” videos I had watched before the trip many months ago. they were hugging a child who had just run up to meet them: a young girl who looked very familiar. that settles it, I thought. the circle had at last closed.

now about once a week, my darling pup hears, “ready for Atlantis?” or “ready for Milo?” and leaps to my side in bed as I start the movie on my laptop. indeed, it feels exactly like a big warm hug every time. the artistry, the story, the characters, the humor, the heart. Milo is every bit the hero I needed as an uncertain child who loved words and language but hated being different…but he’s the one I got as an adult finding peace with her brain and eager to keep chasing her dreams. I’m writing more original words every day, journaling again, and speaking and thinking more fluidly all because of jotting down random thoughts about this movie and liking how they sounded. I’ve also put aside the idea that the influencer path might bring me joy, and I feel comfortable online again and have met some great folks so far through fan works and discussions from silly to profound.

and so I thank that little voice that whispered for 23 years: “…Atlantis is waiting.”

[mako-designated-driver]

Codex Entry #43: A Grey Warden's Journal

We searched the area but found no sign. If he was here, it was some time ago.

The fishermen in this area are friendly. Unlike some, they remember how the Grey Wardens fought to save Ferelden in the last Blight. Though they had little, they shared some of their catch to give us a better supper than we had tasted in weeks. They even deferred to me once they saw that I commanded the other Wardens, and there are few even in Ferelden who would watch an elf command men without pause.

They are friendly folk. After all this land has suffered in the past years, I hope they find some peace

───────

Still no trace of him, though I feel the darkspawn in the ground below. Could he be lurking close to them, perhaps preparing to die with honor? I doubt it, but it is the only lead we have so far. I confess that this seems a fool's errand at times, given how much is at stake.

We saw bandits harassing the fishermen, and we intervened. The fishermen thanked us, though I fear the bandits will return again in greater numbers, and we will not always be here to help. Nevertheless, as long as we are here, the fishermen are safe.

The dreams continue, as they do every night. They make it hard for us to sleep, but we must persist. Hopefully the others will have found a solution by the time we return. In the meantime, I sing the song of Andruil to myself to clear my mind as best I can.

───────

I grow more convinced that if he was ever here, he is now long gone. Still, it would not do for us to miss him through laziness, and he was one of our most skilled warriors. If anyone could hide himself here, it would be he.

One of the fishermen shows promise with a spear and has shoulders like an ox from throwing nets all day. He asked about joining the Grey Wardens. Under other circumstances, I would be honored to take a worthy and willing volunteer. Now... my orders did not say whether I should seek new recruits, even with our circumstances. Or because of them, I suppose. It did not hurt his cause that he was easy to look at, and clearly wished to know more about the Dalish.

The darkspawn are louder than I thought at first. The constant whisper at the back of my mind makes it difficult to sense them as easily as I usually do, but they are near the surface. Perhaps bandits are not the worst these people have to face.

───────

He is not here. We have searched thoroughly, and we will now move on. How many days have I wasted here, with whispers lurking at the back of my mind, on this mad assignment? I pray we have more luck as we head south.

After speaking with the other Wardens, I told the fishermen about the darkspawn we sensed beneath the earth. They may not burst forth from the ground today or tomorrow, but I fear it will not be long... and we will not be here when they finally surface. The fishermen were grieved at the news, but they decided to make for West Hill, which is safe for now.

As for the fisherman who was interested in joining, I convinced him that now was not the time. Others might have told him otherwise, but he is too young to make such a sacrifice simply because he does not wish to throw nets into the water all his life. We shared one last night by the campfire, and he went on his way with a smile, humming the song of Andruil as he left.

—From pages torn loose from a journal found on the Storm Coast

[shiningwonderland]

Natsuki Shinomiya (Repeat)

Translator: Raz (Twitter: agnadance)

Proofreader: Nadie (Twitter: nmoniag)

Editor: Aoi (Twitter: AoiTsukihime)

QA: Rei (Twitter: wolfe_raine)

August — One Summer's Affetto

It's now August. Most of my classmates have returned home.

I debated whether or not to go back or not, but I was glad when Shinomiya-san said to me that we should do our best during summer break as well…

I've decided to stay behind and now I'm practicing at the school everyday.

Natsuki Shinomiya: Phew… It's so hot everyday.

Haruka Nanami: I agree, but at least it feels cooler inside the school.

Saotome Gakuen's air conditioning is top notch. It's always mildly air conditioned so it never becomes too hot in the summer.

Natsuki Shinomiya: There are many delicate instruments, so I'm glad that the air conditioning is reliable.

Haruka Nanami: Speaking of instruments… I was thinking about adding a violin in the musical accompaniment… 

Haruka Nanami: So… are you willing to play it?

Natsuki Shinomiya: … Me?

Haruka Nanami: Yes. I would love for you to play it, Shinomiya-san…

Natsuki Shinomiya: I… see. If I can be of service, but…

Haruka Nanami: Um… Don't push yourself… I know you have... special circumstances.

Natsuki Shinomiya: No, that's not it…. I just noticed that you went back to calling me Shinomiya-san again…

Haruka Nanami: Ah…

I've called him Natsuki-kun a number of times when I put in the effort, but I naturally slip back to calling him Shinomiya-san.

Natsuki Shinomiya: I know I shouldn't be forcing you to call me that… but I do feel a little lonely.

Select the Phrase!

1)　時間をください。Give me some time. (+5 Love, +5 Music)

Haruka Nanami: Shinomiya-san… You're older and composed, so I have a hard time calling by your first name so casually…

2)　ごめんなさい。I'm sorry. (+0 Love, +0 Music)

Haruka Nanami: Um… I'm not used to it yet, so I end up calling you Shinomiya-san…

3)　努力はしているのですが・・・I'm trying my best, but… (+10 Love, +5 Music)

Haruka Nanami: I can't really get myself to call you that right now… but I want to properly call you by your first name one day. So…

Haruka Nanami: I don't dislike calling you by your first name, it's just… I just feel like a person like me isn't fit to call you like that…

Haruka Nanami: Once I feel more confident, I think I'll be able to call you by your first name, so can you wait for me until then?

Natsuki Shinomiya: Haru-chan… I understand. I'll be waiting…

Shinomiya-san puts both of his hands around my right hand.

Natsuki Shinomiya: You're a far more wonderful girl than you think you are.

Natsuki Shinomiya: I want you to someday be more confident, even if it may take time.

Natsuki Shinomiya: Your hands can make music–they have unlimited potential. Your music can change the world no matter what it could be like.

Natsuki Shinomiya: I understand lacking confidence the most out of anyone else… I was that way too.

Natsuki Shinomiya: … Huh? How strange, I was trying to encourage you, and yet….

Natsuki Shinomiya: I can say the same things I'm telling you, to myself.

Shinomiya-san breaks into a smile and hugs me tightly.

Haruka Nanami: Uh, um…

Shinomiya-san gently lets go of me and looks me in the eyes.

Natsuki Shinomiya: Let's make an entire world, you and I… I will sing the songs you make. If our song is recognized by others, would that give you more confidence?

Haruka Nanami: … Yes.

Natsuki Shinomiya: If that's so, then I need to do my best, too… If you wish, I'll play the violin and the viola in any way you please. 

Haruka Nanami: T-thank you. T-then, I'll bring the sheet music. I left them at the dorm…

Natsuki Shinomiya: Okay, see you soon!

I head to the dorms to fetch my sheet music.

When I return to the classroom, Shinomiya-san is sitting on the window sill while gazing forlornly at the scenery outside.

Haruka Nanami: … Shinomiya-san.

Natsuki Shinomiya: …

Haruka Nanami: Shinomiya-san…?

Natsuki Shinomiya: Ah… ahh, I'm so sorry! I was just deep in thought…

Shinomiya-san… Is he scared to play the violin after all?

Haruka Nanami: U-um! I'm sorry, you're still scared about playing, right? Well… we don't have to use this song. I'll return the sheets back to my room.

In a panic, I whip around and try to return to the dorms, but…

Natsuki Shinomiya: Haru-chan, don't go…

Shinomiya-san hugs me from behind.

Natsuki Shinomiya: Don't say such a sad thing… You wrote that music, didn't you?

Haruka Nanami: … Yes.

Natsuki Shinomiya: Your sound… I don't want to miss one note of a melody you've spun to life. I want to feel all of you.

Natsuki Shinomiya: What you have here isn't just music notes lined up next to each other. It's your heart… I refuse to disregard it.

Natsuki Shinomiya: Can you show me your sheet music?

Haruka Nanami: … Okay.

Shinomiya-san looks at my sheet music, smiles, then plays it on the spot for me.

His performance back in April when he was introducing himself sounded lonely…

But now, his sound is kind, warm like a ray of sunshine.

Natsuki Shinomiya: Haru-chan…

Shinomiya-san freezes in place.

Haruka Nanami: U-um… Is it hard to play…?

Natsuki Shinomiya: No, it's wonderful! So much so that I think it's a waste for me to be the only one playing.

Natsuki Shinomiya: Haru-chan… Will you join me?

Haruka Nanami: Join…?

Natsuki Shinomiya: There's a piano.

Haruka Nanami: Ah…

I can play the piano, but…

Haruka Nanami: But I'm not that good… Also, I don't know if I can properly match your performance…

Natsuki Shinomiya: Haru-chan, believe in yourself… Believe in me who chose you.

Natsuki Shinomiya: It'll be okay. You're an angel loved by the gods of music.

Natsuki Shinomiya: Feel me and my music… Go with your feelings and let the piano sing…

Natsuki Shinomiya: That way, we'll surely become one. We can communicate heart to heart.

Haruka Nanami: … I'll try.

Natsuki Shinomiya: Merci, Haru-chan! I'll begin.

Shinomiya-san weaves a melody… Following my heart, I let my fingers dance on the piano keys.

A momentary dream. It was only a couple of seconds, but it felt like an instant that could've been an eternity.

Even without thinking about it, I knew the sound in my heart.

I want to resonate and become one…

A voiceless chorus flows outward from my fingertips and spontaneously weaves itself into a melody.

Natsuki Shinomiya: …

We are like fairies who are music notes dancing on top of the musical staff.

I'm filled with pleasure, happiness, and sorrow…

Tears are about to overflow–this indescribable feeling melts and blends into our sound.

Natsuki Shinomiya: …

Haruka Nanami: …

Once we finish our duet, we gaze at each other and smile.

Shinomiya-san puts his violin back into its case, then puts his hand on mine.

Natsuki Shinomiya: It's been so long since I've felt such exhilaration! Your sound moves me and has gripped onto my heart!

Haruka Nanami: No, not at all… but I wanted the intro to be like this. I… enjoyed myself…

Natsuki Shinomiya: I enjoyed myself as well! It's been so many years since I've had so much fun playing the violin!

Natsuki Shinomiya: You really are my muse. I was about to forget what I hold dear to me, but you helped me remember once more.

Natsuki Shinomiya: I feel like maybe I can take back the past I lost that day as long as I'm with you… 

Shinomiya-san… As I thought, something happened in his past…

Maybe that's why his personality changes when he takes off his glasses…

Shinomiya-san, I want to know the real you.

I wonder if you'll show me one day…

Haruka Nanami: Um…

Natsuki Shinomiya: Ah, I'm sorry. I've said something heavy just now.

Natsuki Shinomiya: How about we change our surroundings and practice outside? I made a lunch box! We can eat it under the shade of the trees.

Select the Phrase!

お弁当・・・ですか？A… lunch box? (+0 Love, +0 Music)

Natsuki Shinomiya: Yes. There's octopus sausages and bunny-eared apples!

Haruka Nanami: That sounds delicious!

Natsuki Shinomiya: I have a favorite spot behind the mountain on the academy grounds where we can eat our lunch.

はい。Okay. (+20 Love, +0 Music)

Haruka Nanami: Practicing outside sounds exciting!

Natsuki Shinomiya: Right? I'll show you my favorite spot. I've told no one else!

あ、いいですね、それ。Oh, that sounds great. (+10 Love, +0 Music)

Haruka Nanami: That sounds very fun!

Natsuki Shinomiya: I'll take you to my favorite spot, but it's a secret between the two of us, hehe!

Shinomiya-san brings me to the forest behind the academy.

A cool breeze wafts through the air of the forest.

Haruka Nanami: Ah…

As I space out while walking, I stumble on a branch.

Luckily, I find myself cradled in Shinomiya-san's arms.

Natsuki Shinomiya: Are you okay? I'm sorry, it must be hard to walk in the forest.

Haruka Nanami: Ah… Sorry, I wasn't being careful.

Natsuki Shinomiya: Should we… hold hands?

Haruka Nanami: Huh?

Natsuki Shinomiya: We can't hold hands at a party, but I can escort you to the forest amphitheater.

Haruka Nanami: … T-thank you.

Shinomiya-san holds my hand as we walk through the forest.

Natsuki Shinomiya: We're here. Welcome to the forest amphitheater…!

The place Shinomiya-san has showed me is a spot where small animals come to rest among the rays of sunshine.

The small birds fly about as the squirrels and rabbits frolic among the pools of light.

Haruka Nanami: Wow! What a wonderful place… I didn't know there was a place like this!

Natsuki Shinomiya: Hehe! This is the secret flower garden… I often come here and talk to everyone.

One little bird flutters towards Shinomiya-san.

It flies around him and twitters as if it's talking to him.

Natsuki Shinomiya: Hehe, how do you do, little bird? What? You want to hear that song? Sure, I'll play it for you.

Shinomiya-san strokes the bird's head on his shoulder, grins, then starts playing his viola.

The animals of the forest gather around him, attracted by his performance.

… Unbelievable.

Truly wonderful performances not only enrapture people but animals as well.

The moment the song finishes, the animals crowd around him.

Natsuki Shinomiya: Hehe, everyone's been doing well, I see…!

He strokes the small animals' heads and necks as he talks to them. They all seem to be comfortable around him.

A cat walks up to him.

Haruka Nanami: Ah, Kuppuru…! Come here…

Natsuki Shinomiya: Is that kitty's name Kuppuru-chan? I've never seen him before. Is he your cat?

Haruka Nanami: Umm, I saved him once and ever since then, he's been attached to me. I've been secretly keeping him in my dorm room.

Natsuki Shinomiya: Hehe, that's against the rules.

Haruka Nanami: I'm sorry.

Natsuki Shinomiya: If you call me by my first name, I won't tell anyone.

Haruka Nanami: Uh…

Natsuki Shinomiya: Hehe, I'm kidding… There's no rush.

Haruka Nanami: I'm sorry.

Natsuki Shinomiya: That's no good, isn't it. I've been causing you so much trouble lately.

Haruka Nanami: Not at all…

Natsuki Shinomiya: No, I've been pushing your boundaries, and you're such a nice person… I've been asking too much of you without realizing it.

Haruka Nanami: You're always so nice to me… You're not asking too much at all.

Natsuki Shinomiya: If you say it like that, I'll start wanting to push you even more.

Natsuki Shinomiya: You're like an untouched canvas, completely open to me dotting it with foolish words. 

Natsuki Shinomiya: You always respond to me so honestly, which makes me want to see more of your expressions.

Natsuki Shinomiya: But if I do that, I'll end up causing you too much trouble.

Natsuki Shinomiya: I know I need to push down these feelings…

Natsuki Shinomiya: Even so, there are times I can't keep them in. For example, like this…

Shinomiya-san takes my hand and pulls me towards him.

He gives me not a light hug–it's a firm, deep embrace.

Natsuki Shinomiya: I want to feel you forever, just like this…

His soft whisper is not his usual kind tone of voice. There's a tinge of sadness mixed in it.

My heart skips a beat at Shinomiya-san's uncharacteristically serious attitude.

He has his childish, innocent expression. Now he has a mature expression.

They're both a part of him… yet why is my heart beating so fast?

Haruka Nanami: Um, uhh…

Natsuki Shinomiya: See, I'm already making you nervous.

Shinomiya-san chuckles.

Natsuki Shinomiya: But now… you're within my arms, and that makes me happier than anything else.

Natsuki Shinomiya: Feeling your warmth, I get caught up in this illusion that it's not just your heartbeat, but the beat of your soul that I get to touch.

Haruka Nanami: Umm, this is very embarrassing… But… I'm not hating it…

Hearing that, Shinomiya-san releases his hold on me.

Natsuki Shinomiya: If you say something like that, it's going to be hard to keep myself from teasing you even more.

Natsuki Shinomiya: It’s no good, I need to hold myself back… Shall we change the mood and start eating lunch?

He grins. 

Haruka Nanami: … Okay.

It's the usual Shinomiya-san and his kind, soft smile…

This makes me think there's a different side to him besides when he doesn't have his glasses on…

There are times when his atmosphere is so different that I become confused.

Natsuki Shinomiya: Come, Haru-chan. Sit here…

Shinomiya-san spreads a large handkerchief on the ground and gestures to me to sit on it.

He takes out a lunch box in one smooth motion.

If I recall correctly, the cookies he brought for his self-introduction were not very tasty–in fact, their flavor was beyond anyone could ever imagine. 

I briefly shudder at the memory.

The lunch box is decorated with cute illustrations of small birds. The usual fillings karaage chicken and tamagoyaki–rolled omelets–are packed inside of it.

I know Shinomiya-san isn't that great at cooking, but…

It looks quite nice, so I'm sure he must've improved his cooking skills.

Natsuki Shinomiya: Here, have a bite.

Select the Phrase!

いただきます。I'll have a bite. (+10 Love, +5 Music)

Natsuki Shinomiya: Okay, open up!

He holds out a karaage for me.

Haruka Nanami: Uhh…?

Should I open my mouth? I guess I should…

I'm a little embarrassed, but I open my mouth and chomp down on the karaage.

Natsuki Shinomiya: I've always wanted to do something like this. I feel like I'm a mother swallow feeding her chick.

あ・・・はい。Ah, okay. (+10 Love, +0 Music)

Haruka Nanami: I'll have a bite.

I eat a bite of a tamagoyaki.

だ、大丈夫ですか？I-is it okay? (+0 Love, +0 Music)

Natsuki Shinomiya: Of course it's okay! I made enough for two.

No… That's not what I meant… But I can't outright ask him about the taste…

I steel myself and eat an octopus-shaped sausage.

…!

Haruka Nanami: Erk…

T-this is…! This is beyond mere flavor… My consciousness… is fading…

I have no idea how long I've been out. When I wake up, I find myself lying down with my head resting on Shinomiya-san's knees.

Natsuki Shinomiya: … Phew, thank goodness, you've woken up!

Haruka Nanami: Ah… Yes. I'm sorry.

I try to raise myself up.

Natsuki Shinomiya: Don't strain yourself. Rest a little longer…

I comply.

Shinomiya-san gently strokes my hair. I feel sheepish… but it's kind of soothing.

Natsuki Shinomiya: Haru-chan, you've been working too hard… You must've had a bout of anemia.

Natsuki Shinomiya: My apologies, I should've been more mindful…

Haruka Nanami: Huh? … Ah, umm…

Shinomiya-san… Does he think the reason why I fainted was not because of his food, but because of anemia?

If that's so… then I shouldn't tell him the truth. I'll go with anemia.

Natsuki Shinomiya: If you're in any kind of pain, please don't hesitate to tell me. We're partners, after all.

Haruka Nanami: … Okay.

Select the Phrase!

あの、さっきの料理なんですけど。About the cooking earlier…(+0 Love, +0 Music)

Natsuki Shinomiya: It's fine, I saved a portion for you. Do you want to eat it now?

Haruka Nanami: No… not yet…

I think about telling him, but I'll just keep it to myself for now.

ありがとうございます。Thank you. (+20 Love, +0 Music)

Haruka Nanami: I'll make sure to depend on you more.

Natsuki Shinomiya: Yes, you can depend on me. I feel like I can make more delicious cooking if you did that!

Natsuki Shinomiya: My liver and spinach shortcake is delicious! It can cure anemia!

Haruka Nanami: I… see. Maybe if I ever had the opportunity…

I say that, but I couldn't bring myself to finish my sentence with, "I'll eat it."

これからはちゃんと言います。I'll tell you from now on. (+10 Love, +5 Music)

Natsuki Shinomiya: Yes, please do. I never want to see your smile as beautiful as a delicate wild rose to darken…

Natsuki Shinomiya: It's getting dark, so we should go back to school. You can ride on my back.

Shinomiya-san turns his back towards me.

Haruka Nanami: No… I can't do that. I'm okay…

Natsuki Shinomiya: I can't make you walk when you've fainted earlier. Am I not dependable enough?

Haruka Nanami: No, no. That's not it… Umm… Okay, I'll do it.

Natsuki Shinomiya: Okay!

I let Shinomiya-san carry me on his back.

Night falls as he walks through the woods, revealing the moon and a brilliant star.

Natsuki Shinomiya: Ah, a star… The first star of the evening.

Haruka Nanami: Ah… It is…!

Natsuki Shinomiya: Do you like stars?

Select the Phrase!

はいっ！ Yes! (+10 Love, +10 Music)

Haruka Nanami: When I unravel the lore behind the constellations, it inspires music in my soul.

Haruka Nanami: I'm a real big fan of the moon, the stars, and constellations!

銀河って・・・ The galaxy… (+10 Love, +0 Music)

Haruka Nanami: It's so romantic… I bubble over with excitement when I see the starry sky in all its glory!

宇宙は・・・ Space… (+0 Love, +10 Music)

Haruka Nanami: I'm interested in it because it's mysterious and enigmatic.

Haruka Nanami: It gives me such delight just watching the stars above. They're wonderful!

Natsuki Shinomiya: Hehe! When I was a young boy, I saw the most beautiful stars one night!

Natsuki Shinomiya: I got to visit the beach with my parents in the south, and the starry sky and moon were shining bright. 

Natsuki Shinomiya: People tend to shed tears when they see something truly stunning. 

Natsuki Shinomiya: That was the first time I was so moved. The Southern Cross was shining bright and left an impression on me…

Natsuki Shinomiya: When I returned to Japan, I tried my best searching for that same starry sky, but I couldn't find it.

Natsuki Shinomiya: My parents said it's a constellation you can't see in the Northern Hemisphere and I was disheartened.

Natsuki Shinomiya: Stars are unreachable, but when I look up at them, they shine down on me.

Natsuki Shinomiya: Still, I wasn't even able to gaze upon them. I yearned for them, and yet they became even further out of reach…

Natsuki Shinomiya: But… It's not like I can't go see them again. I can always just go back.

Natsuki Shinomiya: When I decide to visit again, will you go with me?

Natsuki Shinomiya: If I were to take the Southern Cross out of the night sky and put it into a necklace, I'm sure it would look beautiful on you.

Haruka Nanami: I… would like to see that starry sky too.

Natsuki Shinomiya: Hehe, then if I were to debut, let's go there on our first vacation.

It sounds like a dream, but sounds like a possible future if we were to try.

Shinomiya-san carries me as we head back to the dorms.

Shinomiya-san's back is much more built than I imagined. He feels more like a man than ever before. 

Haruka Nanami: … You're warm.

Natsuki Shinomiya: Hehe, it's my pleasure.

Haruka Nanami: Eh…? Ah, I… said that out loud? S-sorry.

Natsuki Shinomiya: Why are you apologizing? I'm so happy! I would like to be like this forever.

Haruka Nanami: N-no, um… I'm heavy… so…

Natsuki Shinomiya: Of course not. You're as light as a little bird.

Haruka Nanami: … A little bird? That can't be true…

Natsuki Shinomiya: Hehe, but it is, my sweet bird…

Shinomiya-san keeps teasing me all the way back to the dorms.

MINI GAME

Ringo Tsukimiya: Today, I'm going to have you play a more difficult performance, but it'll be okay. I'll teach you!

Ringo Tsukimiya: Hehe, I'm a pro after all! I'm pretty skilled!

Ringo Tsukimiya: Even if the song is the same, you can change its feeling by your performance. Learn more and polish it up.

Ringo Tsukimiya: Anyway, music start!

RANK S

Natsuki Shinomiya: Wow, amazing! Let's do our best and make our dreams come true!

Haruka Nanami: Yes!

Shinomiya-san… He listened to my performance! I'm glad I did well.

Chapter End

[importantdestinydefendor]

5, 6, 9, and 10 with Daryun and Saam for the ask game! 👀

Oh, what wonderful characters! (And so obviuse lmao but that is on me for talking about them so much) and what fun questions! I went a little on a rant here, sorry!

If anyone wants to partake here are the original questions/post!

WARING: Long post

5. What's the first song that comes to mind when you think about them?

I usually am a person who listens to a song and is reminded of the character, rather than looking or thinking about a character and being reminded of a song. So I had to wade through my song list to find the perfect songs for my two special boys. And damn, was it HARD.

For Daryun - Lion by Saint Mesa: The whisperlike/calm singing combined with the overwhelming sound and powerful lyrics talking about somebody embracing their inner power (only a loose summary, do check out the entire meaning of the lyrics) remind me of him. He is a strong man and has many remarkable qualities. He is a courageous man who doesn’t shy away from challenges in his way nor from showing warmth to his friends/companions.

Lyric that remind me of him: “Gold are your fingers, leaving traces everywhere you go” “Sound of the water, deads dripping down your face” “Bring the lion out, bring the, bring the lion out”

For Sam - Warrior by Aurora: It reminds me of how he is trapped in his own mind and guilt of what happened in Ecbatana (as he tells Kishward in Chapter 124) and wishes for his own death. But he still fights on for what he believes in and to protect what he holds close and to keep people safe.

Lyric that remind me of him:  “I can’t recall the last time I opened my eyes to see the world as beautiful.” “I’m trying to battle the night.” “Just reach out for the light, warrior, warrior.”

There are obviously more songs but for now, I chose these. For Daryun it was the hardest. Most of these songs will also probably be in my playlist for the AU as they both ALSO remind me of Azar. 

6. What's something you have in common with this character?

Ok, be prepared for a little self-love/self-praise in this one (which is needed sometimes. Practice self-love, folks!).

I generally pride myself on being kind, friendly and (somewhat???) loyal as a friend and general human being. And who is quite literally the definition of loyalty?? Our famed knight in black, Daryun! (Sam as well, but that is not as noticeable under his other great characteristics (even though the recent chapters have proven me wrong)). 

But most importantly, we three are the mom-friends. We care deeply for our friends and people we hold close to us. Daryun is the more protective mom-friend - always asking if you are okay and please, do send a text when your home safe and sound (I actually did that to a guy friend of mine. It was after a party of mine, it was after midnight and he wanted to head home for the night (he came by bike). I and another friend of ours didn't let him go until he promised us that he would send a text that he was home. I literally didn’t go to sleep UNTIl I had the text. It was like 2 or so in the morning! (I was also slightly tipsy), He only lived 20 minutes away from me, mind you).

Sam would be the mom-friend who would lend you a shoulder and an ear if you need it. He would hate it if an argument ensues between some of his friends and try to be the mediator. Probably has like random medical stuff (band-aid, painkillers, etc.) or other things one might need at hand. (I always have band-aids, at least two bottles of water, different types of pain medication, something against a cough or a small bite to eat (usually small chocolate bars) with me.) He (and Daryun, actually) would give you their jacket, scarf, etc. in a heartbeat. (I always have something to change into with me if it’s too warm/cold outside, be it a scarf, extra pair of gloves or a tshirt. If you even vaguely mention around me that you are cold, I will immediately offer you my jacket, pullover, etc.)

9.Could you be roommates with this character?

And while we talk about them being mom-friends, they would probably be wonderful roommates.

I would always have a clean and organized flat/home, probably a full fridge and no worries of a brake in (the burglar would run in fear jkashnscfluf). When stressed, they would probably hype me up and remind me to take regular breaks. While Sam would probably be the one cooking, etc, Daryun would repair things around the flat and move heavy stuff when asked.  Look after things when I’m sick, take care of me, regular mental health checkup, etc. Fun late night talks and at least one regular thing we would all do together (like regular strolls, movie nights, going out to eat, that kind of stuff). Also weekly sit downs for discussing roles for housework, expenses for all of us, etc. A lot of my friends would say we have a cute family dynamic (Sam -the dad, Daryun the older brother, me- the youngest/the baby). A lot of compliments for achievements, my art, etc from them. My two personal trainers for working out (and also muscles to oogle at all day long consensually and politely of course (yes, there I said it!)). Always making sure that I’m safe and rush to help/save me from weirdos/situations I don’t feel safe in/ etc. Would have period products with them when we’re out and not squeamish to talk about normal woman anatomy/health, etc.

But as there are upsides there are also downsides in everything.

They would probably constantly be on my ass for doing things and reminding me of my deadlines (probably). Daryun would be up and early to go for a jog, the gym, his general workout, etc, while Sam would be already cleaning the apartment after one (1) coffee. Like imagine, it is a Saturday and I think, I can sleep in? Nope, 5 or 6 am, the men of the house are up and doing their routines. Probably trying to be quiet, but failing. Sam MUST have first cleaned the house before he can do ANYTHING else in his day (like my mom). Daryun would have a whole cabinet of protein powder/stuff for himself and oh my god, the many times I would send myself flying over his home-workout equipment? I would be a WALKING bruise. And when we are already talking about the work out, Sam and Daryun would both probably try to get me to work out more. Always pushing me to my limits (“You can do it!” or “One more.” “No, TWO more!” bro, no. I have pudding and noodles for arms. The only thing I will manage to do is for me to hurt myself the weirdest way possible and you have to patch me up AGAIN. I literally ripped a tendon in my ankle by TURNING AROUND IN MY ROOM! You have to put me in bubble wrap and I would STILL manage to hurt myself.). When I go out they would make me promise to text them when I arrive or am about to leave. When it is like a minute after agreed time (call, coming home, etc.) texts and calls would ensue. Out of fear and worry for my well being, of course. Like, you know how parents sometimes call several times and you would get annoyed? Yeah, that. Full on parent mode from the both of them. Sweet at first but a little overwhelming after a while. And since they are, ya know, men, the sink would look terrible after a shave! They would try to be clean, obviously, but sometimes they forget. So, deep cleaning it is! 

But there are more pros than cons and most cons would be me being clumsy and them having to patch me again, sooo… 

10. Could you be best friends with this character?

Sam

Probably not really. He is a lot older than me and it would probably be more of a casual friend than a full on best friend. Like the older coworker you slowly become friends with and have some casual meetings in a cafe with and sometimes invite for dinner or a party with some friends. But it would always be fun and you could probably get GREAT life and/or dating advice from him. Always a life hack or wisdom in store and a fun life story to tell. Easily could lighten up the entire party with stories when he has good energy. Later on would probably sit more alone or have a casual talk with somebody as his energy goes down. But still, fun to be around regardless

Daryun

Oh, Brother! Not to the extant as he and Narsus are, but still! It would be like watching a competition of who can take more care of the other (like the meme where two people constantly upstage each other so the other doesn’t get shot.). Regular hangouts, just sitting with each other and enjoying the others present, movie nights, etc. Basically very similar to what I have written down for the roommate one. Would help me in any need, have a few jokes up his sleeve for when I’m down and hype me up as much as he can. Does tell me when I made a blunder but as gently as possible (I’m sensitive as hell, I WILL cry and think about it to no end!). (WARNING: A little self indulgence in the next phrase. If you find this cringe, huh, SUCK IT.)  Friends would either say we are siblings from another parent/brother and sister, OR we would make a great couple, are couple goals and if we aren’t married in the next few years, they won’t believe in true love anymore. No in between! Regardless of if we have feelings for each other or not. But he would be a very reliable best friend and I would do the same for him in a heartbeat! Lend him my ear, draw stuff for his birthday, etc. But Daryun better get ready for dem hugs as my love language is physical touch and I LOVE cuddling! (There is probably some gift giving and acts of services in there too). If he isn’t a fan of it, I would obviously respect his boundaries.

[trainerfangirlsmile]

I went to see the second to last show in the Anastasia The Musical run in Mexico and oh my god:

So first of all, this was the first Mexican production that I ever saw in an established theater as opposed to a tour production (that was the Cats Mexican Tour back in 2019) so I was a little excited about that fact and how it would feel.

I had heard one negative comment about it, mainly how the sets and costumes didn't make justice to the original production (this couldn't have been MORE WRONG they were absolutely breathtaking)

There was a young girl (couldn't be more than 9 y/o) that was asked if she had seen the original movie and her answer was no, which made me think that for a lot of young kids the show could've been their first approach to Anastasia and I think that's beautiful

Now onto the musical itself:

The 3rd call for starting was made by little Anya and her voice was so adorable! She also made the call for starting the 2nd act during intermission

Most of the songs were adapted from the Madrid version rather than from the Latin American Dub of the movie (where the songs were sung by a popular Mexican singer called Thalia) and while at first it slightly disappointed me, it didn't affect the value of the production at all, I found myself vibing to the music all the time

Gleb's actor had a higher-pitched voice than Ramin, which at first surprised me, but he also managed to make a much more awkward Gleb that you could, not root for per-say, but understand him and his motivations from the start? One of my friends knew nothing about the changes in the musical, but this is how they felt about it (also please take into consideration it had been some time since I had last seen a "grand duchess slime tutorial", I may have forgotten some stuff)

Vlad was a delight to see on stage, he was funny and charming, every time he came on stage you knew you would laugh, also he was shorter than Lily's actress, and it made funnier some jokes, we stan an unhinged couple

Dimitri amazed me. He was very tall and had a great singing voice, I was so nervous for the adaption of My Petersburg, but you can imagine my surprise when he made a great rendition of it, also ohmygoshhhh him in In a Crowd of Thousands? I kid you not, his yearning almost made me faint, seriously, he and Anya left almost no space for Jesus and I was over there in the second floor gasping for air when he said "your highness", the chemistry was off the charts

Lily was a riot the whole time she was on stage as well, funny, sarcastic, you named it she had it. Land of Yesterday was one of my favorite choreographies from the original production and it did not disappointed me!

The Dowager Empress had this ring in her voice that kinda reminded me of older Mexican dubs? Which makes no sense considering her age but at the same time it does considering her character, such talent she has! She and Alix's actress also made it more obvious through their short interactions that they weren't in the best of terms which I thought it was a great Easter egg for historical fans

The ensemble was amazing! They were all so incredible to watch, during Quartet at the Ballet, the dancers got such a big applause that it warmed my heart, they were seriously so amazing!

A song I was surprised that shook me emotionally was Stay, I Pray You; I had always enjoyed the song and think it is beautifully written, especially because it reflects how one may feel leaving your country "by choice" (I may be projecting a bit into it) but seeing it live and in my native language just broke me, beautifully done by the cast

Mariana Davila as Anya was such a treat to see live! I wish I had been able to meet her at the stage door, because she was just breathtaking! Her voice was so beautiful and it left me speechless so many times during the 2 ½ hours of the show, I hope she gets so many more roles and that I can keep watching her! Again, her chemistry with Dimitri was amazing and she also looked beautiful in Anya's dresses.

I left this as my last point because I think it was my favorite part but, as I had said before, a lot of the songs were adapted from the Madrid cast which, if I remember correctly, had been adapted from the Spanish Dub of the movie.

A lot of movie fans had voiced their disappointment at not being able to hear songs like Once Upon a December with the original lyrics, and Mariana had said that they had tried to change them to the ones we were used to

Upon starting the show and realizing the new lyrics, I thought, "Well, maybe it was just for some specific shows or dates" and proceeded to enjoy the show

AND THEN COMES THE END OF ACT 1 AND GUYS

Journey To The Past was sang with the exact same lyrics as the Latin American Dub from 1997.

I am not joking when I tell you that the second that I heard "No me falles no..." I looked towards my friends and was already getting my eyes welled up with tears, it was such a flashback to being 5 years old coming home from blockbuster on an early December day and just, gosh, it was too much emotionally, I really cried throughout the whole song

Also, last year, I went on an exchange program, and some of the trips I was able to make were to Paris (since it was really close to were I was studying at the time) and just, seeing the images from Paris was also a reminder that I had been able to make many dreams come true in the last year, including watching this musical

It didn't help that the lights started from the seats towards the stage, it was so poetic, I still feel emotional thinking it and it has been like 23 hours since I experienced this.

Mexico is so talented, I hope we can continue to enjoy these experiences, and not only in the capital city, everyone in all the 32 states deserves to have a magical time

[tonberry-yoda]

One More Time - Sanji (pt. 3) f!reader

pt.1 | pt.2

notes - Hi cuties! My writing inspo is coming back!!! <3 This was for my most recent poll! I decided to do another part of this because this is actually a fun series to write! Thanks to all who love it too and expect a Law fic soon???? Love you bunches!!! word count - 1,064 tags - @sleepyhead0720

The night went by too slowly for your liking. You were alone in that storage room jumping over the smallest noises, fearing that you were going to get caught.

You lied when you told Sanji that you had been in worse situations. You really hadn't. The Strawhat Pirates were famous and not in the good way. If even one spotted you, you would be dead meat. All of them combined had a bigger bounty than you could ever imagine.

But they were so kind. Why?

They looked like they were genuinely having a good time together, being human and laughing. Not only that, but you had heard from outside sources that wasn't the Navy that they had done so much to help others. Especially the captain. With a smile on his face in every wanted poster.

They were definitely a strange bunch, but they intrigued you; made you jealous. You were a crew bouncer, which meant that a lot of the time, you were just joining crew after crew for a pretty penny. Honestly, you stopped caring about the money and just wanted a home. But none of them felt like it.

But here? With all of these lovely people telling jokes and singing songs? It pissed you off. Why couldn't you live like that?

You definitely couldn't now that you were an enemy to them.

You tossed and turned in your sleep not having a clue what time it was because not only did you not have a watch, but you didn't even have a window that could give you a clue.

You were so tired though.

A sigh escaped your lips and you sat up. Sleep wasn't an option anymore, it seemed.

But you jumped to the roof when you heard the trap door open. Yeah, you were screwed. Too tired to fight and in a bad position with what little of a bounty you had on you.

"y/n?" You recognized Sanji's voice as he whispered your name. "y/n, are you down here?"

You peeked from behind a barrel and smiled. "Hey, Sanji!"

He walked over to you and turned on the light. "Hungry?" he asked as he kneeled down with a plate of food.

"I guess I am." you replied after your stomach gave a growl of hunger.

"We're almost to the island by the way. Sooner than we thought too." He leaned his head against a box as he sat across from you and sighed. "We'll be there in about an hour."

"What time is it?"

"Just past eight."

You hummed in response and kept eating. You weren't even on the boat for a full day, but you already missed his cooking.

"How did you sleep?" he asked, trying to hide that he as slightly blushing.

"I dunno. Probably slept a little bit, but I mostly just remember sitting." you admitted.

"I'm sorry."

You shrugged. "Not your fault. I'm the one who crawled on this boat."

For a moment, it was just silence, but Sanji quickly broke it.

"What are you going to do when you leave?"

"What I always do." You set down your plate and wrapped your blanket around your shoulders to warm yourself up. "Travel until I find somewhere to stay."

"That doesn't sound very fun."

"Eh, I'm used to it. A solo pirate, I guess."

"I wish you could join our crew." he giggled.

"Same." You played with a string that was hanging off of your blanket and sighed out of your nose. "But it's fine. I mean, I had fun while I was here. And had some pretty damn good food, if I do say so myself."

"Is that so?" he teased.

You laughed and tucked a strand of hair behind your ear. "What about you?" you asked. "What are you gonna do once you get to the island?"

"Whatever the captain orders."

"Sounds confining."

"Surprisingly, not really." Sanji moved himself so that he was sitting next to you and slid his hand in yours, clearing his throat. "Better than being in one place."

"I got you there. Traveling is the best."

"No kidding."

You laid your head on Sanji's shoulder and squeezed his hand. "Have you ever felt alone, Sanji?"

He sighed. "Hell yeah I have."

You nodded and felt yourself drift off into sleep.

---

"Sanji! Get up here!" You heard someone shout from above you as you woke up. "We're here!"

"Coming! Just give me a second! You guys can get a move on without me, I'll catch up!"

You heard the sound of footsteps above you disappear and you rubbed your eyes.

"Looks like we're here, princess. Get you some beauty sleep?"

You turned to see Sanji smile at you and you smiled back.

"I guess so. I'll get out of your hair though. Thanks for covering me up."

"Don't mention it." He stood up and grabbed your hand, helping you up. "Want me to walk you out?"

"If it's not any trouble."

"I would be happy to."

Sanji slid his hand into yours as you two got off of the boat. The island in front of you was warm and very welcoming. Small, but perfect. You knew you were bound to have a couple nights of rest here.

"Well, I have to get some shopping done before me and the rest of the crew head out." Sanji said. "So, uh... this is goodbye?"

You looked at him and he had misty eyes. The wind blew and his blonde hair followed it along with his cigarette smoke.

"Yeah... Bye, Sanji. Thanks for everything." You went to turn away, but couldn't help yourself as you quickly turned around and fell into his arms. You hugged him so tight that his cigarette fell out of his mouth. His hand reached the back of your head while the other found it's way to your back. You hadn't been hugged like this in ages.

When you pulled away from the hug, it felt like something dropped out of you, made you feel empty. Another goodbye, that's all it was.

"So, you and your crew are leaving as soon as you can?" you asked.

"That's the plan." He ran his fingers through his hair and looked up at the clouds.

He felt your lips softly press against his, but when he looked down, you were gone.

If only he could see you. One more time.

~~~~~

one piece masterlist | pinned post | ko-fi

2023 @tonberry-yoda – do not repost or claim ANY of my work as your own! likes, reblogs, and comments are not only welcome, but appreciated

~~~~~

[madiomens]

Just Pretend [n.s.]

Chapter Eight

Warning: Smutty smut

VIP flew by, a lot of the questions making us laugh, and before I knew it the venue was packed full of people and I was backstage checking on the guys and two opening acts before heading out to check on the crowd.

"Everyone alright? Need anything?" I asked everyone backstage, handing them waters.

"I think we're ok. Thank you, Maddie." Nicholas said, sending me a smile.

"I want a tour nurse. She seems bomb." The lead singer of one of the opening acts said, causing me to chuckle.

"Get one, but you can't have ours." Noah joked, sending me a wink.

I grinned at him as I wished the boys luck before walking out from backstage so I would be in front of the barricade. I greeted the security and other workers as I walked past them, making my way to my designated sitting spot.

"You're Maddie, aren't you?" A girl questioned me from the front of the barricade.

I nodded at her with a smile. "I am. You doing alright?"

"I am, just a little hot." She said with a smile. "Could I possibly get a picture with you? You're really pretty."

My eyes widened in surprise. "You want a picture with me?"

"Yea, if that's ok!" She said as her smile widened.

"Of course!" I said before walking up to the barricade and smiling for her picture.

Mumbles from some of the crowd beside us sounded out, most of them asking the person beside them who I was. I thanked the girl for the picture before turning to the ones mumbling and sending them a smile. "You guys doing alright?" I questioned.

"We're good. Do you work with one of the bands or something?" A girl questioned me.

I nodded. "I'm the Bad Omens tour nurse. Just here to help where I can."

"You get paid to basically live with these guys and hear good music?" She questioned, eyes wide.

I laughed. "Pretty much, yea. Occasionally provide medical attention."

"That sounds like the best job ever." She said with a smile.

I smiled back at her. "This is my first show with them but so far it is the best job."

The lights dimming broke up our conversation and I shot her another smile before hopping onto the box and swinging my feet back and forth. The two openers went by fairly quickly with me handing out waters as needed and before I knew it, the crowd of metal fans were singing along to 'A Thousand Miles' by Vanessa Carlton while hitting balloons in the air. I stifled a laugh as I recorded them before heading backstage to check on the guys one last time.

"Y'all did amazing." I complimented the other bands, earning thank you's and smiles from them.

The boys posed for a couple pictures from Bryan before he made eye contact with me and motioned for me to go over to them. I approached apprehensively before being rushed between Noah and Nicholas for a couple pictures. I laughed at them as they wrapped themselves around me as if I was some sort of tree. Bryan snapped a few pictures of us laughing then being serious before they let me go, laughter echoing around the group.

"Everyone alright?" I questioned them as Noah chugged some water.

Folio gave me a thumbs up through drinking his own water before chunking the empty bottle and grabbing a new one, head banging to some silent song in his head.

"This is going to be a great first show, I can feel it." Jolly said as he cracked his fingers and put his guitar on his body.

"The crowd is sick." I said as I handed Noah and Folio more waters for stage.

"If anyone is rude to you let us know. Our crowds are generally kind but you always have the rotten egg in the bunch." Nicholas said, placing a hand on my shoulder.

I smiled at him. "Thank you. Trust me, I can handle myself but if I need anything I'll be sure to let y'all know."

"You give off the vibe of someone who can break noses." Folio said as he drummed the sticks in the air.

We all laughed, the crowd outside for sure hearing it from the volume. "You don't even know the half of it." I said through my laughter. "I'm going to go one more sweep of the barricade to check in on people. Good luck out there." I said to everyone. They all came up to wrap me in a group hug, Noah's hand landing a little further down my waist than the other's and causing me to chuckle. The sound of Bryan's camera clicking sounded off behind us right before we let go. I sent them all another smile before making my way to the barricade and checking on everyone again.

Multiple phones were pointed in my direction as I walked out, causing me to freeze and look at everyone. The security guard at the bottom of the stairs chuckled at me and I looked at him.

"They could hear the laughter backstage and thought the band was coming out." He said.

I laughed and waved at everyone. "Just me, sorry." There was a collective sigh as everyone dropped their phones and turned their attention back to each other. I laughed as I walked down the stairs and met the security guard. "I've never felt like more of a disappointment than I do now." I said through my laughter.

He chuckled. "Don't feel bad. The girls only try to talk to me because they think I can get them backstage."

"Now, that's just desperate." I said, shaking my head with a grin.

"You're telling me." He said, extending his hand to me. "The name's Bill."

I shook his hand in greeting. "Maddie. I'm the tour nurse."

"You're the talk of the crowd tonight." He said as he dropped my hand.

"Me?" I questioned in confusion.

He nodded. "Wondering who the girl is that 'weaseled her way in with the boys' as some of the lovely girls put it."

I threw my head back in laughter at his air quotes. "All it took was me doing CPR on a fan at a festival."

He scrunched his nose up. "That's a lot less fun than some of the ideas they were coming up with."

I grinned. "I'm sure they were creative." The lights faded off, cutting our conversation short as piercing screams sounded off around us. "That's my cue. Nice to meet you, Bill."

"You too, Maddie. Let me know if you need anything." He replied with a nod of his head.

I made my way to my box to sit on and hopped up on it, excitement bubbling in my stomach. Jolly entered the stage a few moments before Nicholas did, standing above me. They motioned for the crowd to get louder and the sound was deafening as everyone began freaking out. I smiled as I looked around the crowd, seeing all of the excited faces and cameras raised. Flashing lights started going off as they began playing the intro to Artificial Suicide and Noah came out from the side spinning in circles. I chuckled at the choice of entrance and began bobbing my head along to the beat of the song, mentally taking a note to invest in some earplugs if I was to be this close to the speakers most nights.

The set went smoothly, with me only having to hand out a couple waters. It helps that it's a colder month of the year in Ireland so even with everyone on top of each other it was still a decent temperature. By the end of it I was riding a high that I've never experienced before, knowing I am a small part of how amazing of a show this is and that I get to experience every single show they are going to do. I felt butterflies in my stomach as the boys finished throwing random items into the audience and left the stage before I hopped off the box and followed them backstage. My eyes were met with everyone stripping their shirts off and all but hulking out as the post show adrenaline rush hit them, causing me to laugh out loud.

"That was fucking amazing." I said with a wide grin, causing them to cheer and run towards me.

I screamed and turned to run but was grabbed firmly on the waist by Noah and thrown over his shoulder as the other guys circled us and began jumping up and down and cheering. I laughed as I was slung in circles still on Noah's shoulder, their cheers and excitement contagious. Noah eventually put me down and stabilized me as my head spun from him spinning me in circles, gripping his arms for something to hold onto.

"Did you have fun?" He asked me as the guys continued to cheer behind him.

"Me? Did you?" I questioned.

He nodded quickly. "So much fun. I want to go back to the house right now." He said, pupils dilated from the adrenaline and excitement.

I laughed at him. "Don't you have to go greet the fans outside?"

"Fine, but only for a few minutes and if you will come with me." He said, grabbing my arm and leading me to the side entrance without time for me to protest. He quickly threw on his hoodie he wore to the venue before pushing open the door.

The guys followed us outside and excited exclaims echoed around the pavement as the fans saw us walk out. I stood back as the guys walked up to the barricade and began talking and taking pictures and signing autographs. I watched them with a small smile on my face as they interacted with the fans. They somehow stay so genuine when having these interactions, the screams and cheers not even fazing them. After a few minutes of greeting everyone, the boys said their goodbye's and thanked the fans for coming before walking back to join my side. Noah and Folio threw their arms across my shoulders, causing me to scrunch my nose up and try to escape the sweaty trap they put me in. They chased me around the side of the building before I quickly loaded up into the van, instantly regretting it once all the sweaty bodies piled in after me. They have another show tomorrow in the same venue so they don't have to pack their stuff up this night, which means they get to get to the house a lot earlier than they normally would. Multiple different animated conversations went on around me as I tried to decide if breathing through my nose or my mouth would be better. They're all running such a high from performing that I doubt they can even smell themselves, but I couldn't help the amused laughter that bubbled up at their hyper conversations opposed to their regular relaxed ones.

We pulled up to the Airbnb a few minutes later and it took everything in me not to throw myself over the seat and crawl out first just to escape the sweat pit I was in. We made our way inside and the guys all separated to take their showers and get clean. I walked into the kitchen still laughing at them and pulled out stuff to make a sandwich bar so they could grab one quick to eat in between their celebrating. I made a few different types and set out condiments before making my way to my bedroom to change. I took a quick body shower this morning and I didn't sweat one drop so I just freshened up and went to change into some sweats when Noah's voice stopped me in my tracks.

"What do you think you're doing?" He questioned.

I turned to face him, my eyes landing on his glistening torso and an almost too small towel covering his waist as he leaned against my doorframe. "Gonna change then eat. I'm starved."

He pushed off the doorframe and slowly started walking towards me. "I'm starved too."

It was as if my stomach instantly stopped growling seeing the way he was looking at me. His eyes were so dark and pupils so dilated that his iris' looked pitch black as he gazed down at me. He brought his fingers up to slowly undo my belt, sliding it out of the loops and dropping it onto the ground. "If you still want to go get food, don't let me stop you." He said huskily.

I swallowed and unbuttoned my jeans. "Lock my door."

He smirked and walked over to the bedroom door to lock it, quickly making his way back to me. I stepped out of my jeans so the only thing on my bottom was a black thong and my fishnets. He cocked his head to the side as he watched me, lust rising in his face more and more as time went by. I held eye contact as I slowly knelt onto my knees, his eyes widening as he realized what I was planning on doing. I undid his towel and dropped it on the ground, his erection slapping his stomach once it was free.

"You don't have to if you don't want to." He said, voice deep with desire.

I grabbed him into my hand, causing a gasp to escape his lips. "I want to for the amazing performance you put on." I said before licking a strip up the shaft, placing a kiss on the head.

His eyes rolled as he tilted his head back in pleasure, causing a sly grin to appear on my face before I took him into my mouth. A deep sigh escaped him as I started bobbing my head up and down, slightly stretching my torso so I would be tall enough on my knees to take him. I hummed against him as I brought my mouth down as far as I could go, gripping the rest of him in my hand. I swallowed a gag that threatened to escape me as I pulled back to start bobbing my head again. My spit created a slick surface for me to work with as I pumped my hand in sync with my mouth. His hand tangled in my hair as I worked him, moans escaping from deep inside him.

"Fuck, you gotta stop or I'm going to cum." He groaned out, tightening his grip on my hair.

I smirked against him and pulled off, my mouth popping from the suction. I looked up at him with a smug grin as he looked back down at me. He brought his hand up to grip my throat, pulling me off my knees so he could lean down and kiss me. His tongue instantly tangled with mine, the heat of the kiss sending chills all over my body. He picked me up and quickly set me on the side of the bed, leaning away to pull my shirt and bra off my body. He went to rip my fishnets in the crotch area before I stopped him.

"These are my only pair and I plan to wear them multiple times." I said, my hand on his as my chest heaved.

"I will buy you 100 more pairs." He growled out before ripping the crotch wide open.

I gasped as he pushed me onto my back before he sunk to his knees and attached his mouth onto my clit after pushing my thong to the side, inserting two fingers inside of me. I smacked my hand over my mouth to muffle the moan that immediately escaped me, tangling my other hand into his wet hair. He shook his head side to side as he buried deeper onto my clit, fingers curling inside of me and working me towards my climax. My brows furrowed and eyes squeezed shut as my orgasm quickly climbed with how fast his movements were. His fingers sped up as I began tightening up against him, my moans getting louder despite my efforts to muffle them. I felt on the bed for my phone and picked it up to press play on my music, turning it up all the way before tossing it on the ground and throwing my head backwards as the music started echoing around us and helping with the noise. I let my hand drop from my mouth and used it to grip the covers under me as he continued to relentlessly suck and curl his fingers inside of me.

"Noah, I'm gonna cum." I whined out, the heels of my feet digging into his back where they were draped.

He moaned against me in confirmation and the vibration from it was enough to send me over the edge. I smacked my hand over my mouth again as stars clouded my vision, ecstasy taking over and my body shaking from my orgasm. He continued to work me through it as I started to come down, chest heaving as I tried to catch my breath. I looked down at him once he removed his mouth and he brought his fingers up to his mouth, a string of my arousal following while he sucked his fingers clean. I watched his mouth as he did so before he stood back up to lean over me and place his lips on mine, tangling his tongue with mine so I tasted my arousal. He lifted me up with one arm and carried me further on the bed, laying me down and leaning back to grab himself. He slid his tip up and down my slit, causing my body to jerk from sensitivity. He lined himself up and pushed all the way in with one thrust, a sharp gasp escaping me before I bit harshly on my lip to stop it. He began thrusting into me quickly and leaned down so he could kiss me, pulling my legs around his waist so they moved in sync with his hips. I gripped his hair with one hand and used the other to scratch down his back in pleasure. A moan escaped him at the feeling so I did it again, causing another moan to escape him. I smirked against his mouth once I realized I found a pleasure point of his. He slightly pulled back to nip at my bottom lip and make eye contact with me as he kept thrusting in and out of me.

"Smirking like the brat you are." He growled out, bringing a hand up to squeeze my throat.

My smirk grew at him choking me, biting my bottom lip as I watched his face. "What are you gonna do about it?" I questioned.

He growled again and squeezed my neck tighter, bringing one of my legs up and throwing it over his shoulders. My brows furrowed in pleasure at the new angle he was entering me and my mouth dropped open as my eyes rolled back.

"Look at me." He ordered, causing my eyes to pop back open and connect with his.

He pulled my leg off his shoulder and rolled me on my side, gripping my thigh and thrusting into me faster and rougher. I gripped his arm tightly as I felt another orgasm building in the pit of my stomach, the new angle perfectly hitting my g spot.

"Noah, I'm gonna cum again." I moaned out as he leaned down to kiss my shoulder.

"Cum for me." He rasped out against my skin.

My brows furrowed deeper as my nails dug into his skin, my second orgasm taking over my body and causing my body to jerk underneath him. He stilled his movements to let me come down from the high, pushing the hair off of my forehead.

"You good?" He whispered, the rough demeanor dropping for a second.

I nodded and patted his side with the hand that was underneath him. "I'm good."

He nodded and leaned up to flip me onto my back and leaned back down, sliding his arms underneath my shoulders and gripping them. He slowly began thrusting in me again, building up speed with each thrust. I grabbed the back of his neck to pulled him down to my lips, moaning into his mouth as his thrusts became harsher. A knock on my door stilled his movements and my eyes popped open to meet his, our lips still connected.

"Maddie, come take a shot with us!" Folio's voice said from behind the door.

I pulled away from Noah's mouth to see him smirk and start to thrust in me again. My eyes widened at him as his smirk grew and his thrusts sped up.

"Just a second, I'm changing!" I yelled, voice slightly wavering.

Noah snorted a laugh and I smacked my hand over his mouth, stifling a laugh of my own.

"Ok, hurry!" Folio said before the sound of his footsteps disappeared down the hallway.

I dropped my hand from Noah's mouth as a laugh escaped him. "You're a little shit." I said through my own laughter.

"Am I?" He questioned, pulling back and thrusting one harsh thrust inside of me.

I gasped and tightened my grip around his shoulders, his own hands gripping mine. "Such a shit." I said, shaking my head.

"Bet." He said before violently thrusting inside of me.

After a few sloppy thrusts he quickly pulled out and finished on my stomach, muscles tensing as his orgasm rode out. I rubbed his back to sooth the muscles there as the last of his cum dripped onto me. He dropped his forehead onto mine as our chests heaved against each other, trying to catch our breath.

"Damn Folio." He breathed out, causing me to laugh.

I leaned up to place my lips on his, holding them there for a few seconds in a lazy kiss. He brought a hand up to place on my cheek and hold me in place before pulling back and placing a chaste kiss on my forehead. He pushed off me to go grab a towel and I stretched my sore muscles as he did so, my knees popping from being bent for so long.

He chuckled as he walked back in cleaning himself off. "Sorry." He apologized as he started to clean me off.

"Worth it." I said, causing him to chuckle again.

He gently cleaned between my legs and tossed the towel into the bathroom, picking me up off the bed to walk me into the bathroom so I could pee.

I softly smiled and closed my eyes as the cold seat met my bare ass. "Is you carrying me to the toilet going to be a new ritual?"

"Like I said, after care."

[islandtarochips]

Heyyy Taro! 🧡 for the ask game <3

🩷 dream job?

🖤 favorite hobbies outside of your blog

🍊 favorite season?

🫐 some place you’d love to visit

💌 why did you start this blog?

Heeeeeeeeeeeeey! Long time no see! Miss you so much! And sure!

🩷 dream job?

I wanted to be an actress! I wasn't very interested since I was too shy to be on stage but seeing the Rock (or Dwayne Johnson) being on screen and he's Samoan and seeing OTHER Samoan actors/actresses. It kind of inspired me to express myself a little. So I'm trying to apply the College here in my home and see if they have any classes related to that and hopefully I might take one off-island. To take any school related to drama. It won't be easy but I have faith that I'll get to my dream job! If...that even COUNTS.

🖤 favorite hobbies outside of your blog

Don't exactly HAVE one but singing is one it! I really enjoy singing some songs that I enjoy listening to! Always hum to the melody while cleaning or listening to some playlist while singing through it! I wish I could have my own studio so I can do some covers and post it on YouTube. That's another way to get some money, right? Lol. But yeah. I like singing.

Even BAKING! I enjoy baking cakes or cookies. It was mostly in boxes though. I do made some from scratch with my mom (my step-mom but I'm calling her mom now!). She's a BRILLIANT home made baker! And enjoy making things with her!

🍊 favorite season?

I would say Winter AND Summer.

For Winter, because I've NEVER experienced with SNOW. I'm always fascinated to see one in REAL life. Went to Seattle THREE times and I STILL haven't seen one single drop of snowflakes. So sad...but even if I get to see it. I will get frostbites...but it's WORTH IT!

Now for the Summer, I'm not use to heat because of how my body reacted. But I like the summer because of spending time with family and friends whenever they invited us for a swim. I use to swim but I wasn't in a mood most of the time. So I usually lay back and watch them play around the water while I babysit the kids. Even though WORK don't take summer breaks😩

🫐 some place you’d love to visit

Seattle. I know I said I went there THREE times but it feels like 25 years later before visiting there again. I want to see my Grandma and my other families. Trying to reconnect with my late mom’s side of the family….

So if I have like a GAZILLION dollars! I would visit them every month now!😊❤️

💌 why did you start this blog?

Just to share my passion of my OCs and fanfic stories about them! Even my culture! Since there’s no one else here where I live are into those kind of things. And they’ll think that I’m weird. Which I am very glad to see other people who are younger, same age or older than me that are into these kind of fandoms!

I really enjoyed reading more about their interests and their OCs! And I’m glad that I’m here! I hope you guys are ok for me to stick around more! Lol!

This ask

Thank you for the ask! I really enjoy sharing my life with you folks! Love you peles!