#and I went 😶

[ssenza]

20 hrs into a new inquisition playthrough before realizing my world state didn’t transfer I—

[head---ache]

the queer experience of picking someone to "have a crush on" as a child

[hyohaehyuk]

He got affairzoned (x)

The video interview is called Jacob Anderson and Sam Reid share all of the details on their series Interview With The Vampire S2 - People Interview

So in the interview they ask them what they would do in a day off and Jacob mentioned that spending his day off with his wife and kid is his happy place and Sam reaction just broke my heart.

Sam was trying so hard to have a normal reaction but I think he had a reality check and either he realized he was the mistress or that jacob is not interested on him at all romantically.

Like, call me delulu how much you want it but i bet any other cast member wouldn't even had bat an eye at Jacob' answear but Sam was clearly affected and couldn't keep a poker face (dude you are an actor. Do smth 😭).

To be frank i dont know if at that time they was aware of each other feelings (i dont even know if they are now) but if they was, then Jacob was really cruel answering that question in front of Sam*, especially bc in the previous one, about what it would be their last meal, Sam said the one he had in Prague with Jacob every single night and a bit later Sam even admitted he didn't liked the food which just meant what he liked was the company. Jacob, honey, read f*cking the room

*i dont know, he could just have said something more simplified with the same meaning, like "spending time with family and friends".

[befuddled-calico-whump]

Total $hit$how: Roses for the Knuckles

in which Hunter doesn't always listen

cw: referenced violence, adult language, implied abuse

previous /// masterlist /// next

×~×~×

“You'll each get one hour. Nowhere near enough time for anything real, but it should serve its purpose.”

Everyone was in the room with the mats, where they should've been running through their morning training. Obstacle courses or fighting or some shit, but instead of doing what they were supposed to, Sahota was following muscle girl's dumb idea.

Hunter knew what its 'purpose' was. Proving them all wrong, demonstrating that he was better than them for the hundredth time. Why was he even gonna bother? Why not just tell them no and be done with it? Why not just do what Vic wanted?

He didn't know what the big deal was anyway. Muscle girl had been in the army or some shit, so hadn't she already killed people? And fucking Manak didn't seem like he gave a shit about anyone else, so why did he care? Hunter didn't care. It wasn't like he knew Finley anyway, and he could just forget about the whole matter after she was dead and they had what they wanted.

If he would’ve told Vic about this last night during their training session, maybe he could’ve put a stop to this bullshit, but the ancient law of snitches get stitches kept his mouth shut. It wasn’t that big a deal anyway. Just a waste of time.

Hunter slouched as Sahota droned on and on about the rules, body and face rigid as he addressed the group. Like a fucking statue.

“I want each of you to come up with some arbitrary information that you want from me, and then I want you to try to extract it. You are permitted to do anything, so long as I can recover from it by tomorrow.”

Whatever that meant. It had been two days since he'd got his face beat in, and he already seemed just fine.

Muscle girl raised her hand. “What's the point?”

“I’ve been in the business for a while,” Sahota replied. “I know a good technique when I see one. If you manage to impress me, you win. I'll let you do it your way.” He thumbed at the scabbed-over cut running through his lip. “But don’t count on it.”

Some of the rest threw in their own questions, but Hunter tuned them out, pinching the skin of a knuckle between two fingernails until flowers started blooming there. No one would want to hear his side of the argument, his ‘we should listen to Vic, not Sahota’. If they didn't hate him already, he'd bet they definitely hated him after the video, after he was the only one who didn't want to go save their asshole trainer. But he'd been right, Vic had been right. Sahota got back just fine, not the slightest shift in his stupid slate-gray color unless you counted the bruises on his face.

He was right, but it seemed like no one wanted to look at him anymore. Not that they had in the first place, but it seemed more on-purpose now. Manak had been just as icy as ever when they'd worked together on the list, a task mostly completed in bitter silence. Hunter hadn't helped much, just kinda leaned back in his chair and looked for new patterns, distracting himself from the red ribbon of irritation that started coiling around the other man as soon as Sahota told them to work together.

And whatever, he didn't care. He didn't need Manak to like him, or Sahota, or muscle girl, or even… even the big guy. No, he didn't need them, not when he had Vic on his side, not when Vic wanted him to stay.

“Cavan, why don't you start us off?” Sahota said, and muscle girl straightened, her neutral blue brightening.

Cavan. Cavan, Cavan, Cavan, he’d try to remember it, but sometimes names were hard.

“I want the rest of you training. Spar for the first hour, then branch off into individual skills.” He gave Cavan a curt nod, and she followed him out, leaving a fading trail of blue behind. Hunter couldn’t tell if she was excited or nervous, and didn’t really care.

Beside him, the big guy let out a heavy sigh. “So… sparring?”

“Dibs on Jericho,” makeup guy said quickly, sidestepping towards the big guy and slipping an arm through the crook of his elbow.

Jericho, Jericho.

That left him with Manak. Whatever. Smug little richboy wasn’t that great with his fists, and Hunter wouldn’t mind breaking his stupid snobby nose. The big guy—Jericho—seemed to catch a whiff of Hunter’s plan though, a brighter flash that was probably alarm arcing through his purple.

“Actually, I think I’ll fight Harbor,” he said, shaking himself free of makeup guy, who put on a pouty expression. Hunter scowled up at him, squaring his shoulders.

“Yeah? What if I don’t wanna fight you?” he challenged, scanning the big guy’s—Jericho, it’s Jericho, fucking dumbass—silhouette for a shift in his color. The purple didn’t change.

“Do you not want to?” A little smile crossed his face. “You’re pretty good. I just want to see what you’ve got.”

Hunter scrunched his nose. He was good, but he knew what was really happening. Just the b–Jericho trying to save Manak’s ass. Whatever. Whatever, a fight was a fight. Training was training and he didn't need to be liked. He didn't need to be chosen for him, not by them.

“Fine.” He lifted his fists. Roses for the knuckles. “Fight me.”

~~~

The first hour went fast. Sparring always went fast, at least for Hunter. Maybe ‘cause it was something he was actually good at. Muscle girl (Cavan) came strolling back in near the end of the matches, and makeup guy (Benny?) took her place. From the dull in her blue, Hunter guessed she hadn't been successful. He coulda told her that.

Jericho spent the next hour looking over the folder with her and Manak, so Hunter spent his time wandering and practicing with patterns.

Find a pen, find a tool, find one of those screws that has an X on top, until makeup guy came back and Manak replaced him and his head was pounding.

He ignored the oncoming migraine.

I want you to come back after.

The next hour passed, the headache dug blunt teeth into his skull, and then it was Hunter's turn.

~~~

Sahota was sitting comfy when he entered, bound in place by ropes that wound around his wrists and the arms of the chair he was planted in. No sign of any blooming colors in his slate-gray, no hint of an expression on his bruise-mottled face.

Like an oil slick, he thought. Guess it's your turn to wear it.

The three who'd gone before him hadn't done shit by the looks of it. If anything, Sahota looked bored. Hunter could change that.

“So what,” he said, lingering in the doorway with his hands stuffed into his jacket pockets. “Do I just start?”

“What information are you pretending to be after?” Sahota asked, hardly shifting in his seat. Hunter wished he'd slouch, or sneeze, or yawn, or do something a normal human would do. 

“I dunno,” he said, eyes darting away from the stiff slate shape of him, looking for anything shinier. “Your birthday or whatever.”

“Creative bunch.”

Hunter scowled, pulling his hands from his pockets and pinching a fresh cut that cracked through the back of his hand like a line in a broken plate. A little shower of rose petals started pouring from it in reply. “Can I hit you?”

“Do it.” Sahota rolled his neck, shrugging his shoulders like he was prepping himself for the first blow. “Is that your plan for Finley?”

“I don't have a plan for Finley,” Hunter said. “I didn’t ask to do this. You can just kill her for all I care.” That's what Vic had said to do. Why was Sahota of all people trying something different? He was in the spy shit too, shouldn’t he know better? Didn't he want to follow Vic?

The trainer’s gray sat plain and stony as Hunter talked, not the slightest flash of surprise, or approval, or even just being pissed off that he didn’t want to play along popping up.

“Are you going to participate?” he asked in a flat voice. “Or should I have you send for Davis?”

He'd like that, wouldn't he? Hunter leaving, giving up, going away. What would he think, if he knew that Vic wanted him here, if he knew that maybe, maybe Vic liked him better?

“I’ll play the stupid game,” Hunter said, rubbing his knuckles. “Just wanted you to know that it’s stupid.” A pattern had begun to swirl around them, starting out small and starry and distorting into silvery splatters. They might’ve been a warning, but Hunter didn’t know for what. That Sahota would get pissed and try to beat him up? That he’d try and kick him off the team? Fat chance, not when Vic was here to say otherwise.

“What’s your birthday?” he muttered. Sahota replied with a silent stare, his stupid gray color unchanging, his stupid expression stony and blank. Fuckin' statue.

Hunter hit him. Not hard, or anything. A little backhanded stroke across the face that didn't draw the slightest ripple through Sahota's gray. The back of his hand stung with the blow. Roses.

Sahota planted the even stare on him again, like he was challenging him, saying, ‘is that all you got?’

Hunter’s upper lip pulled back into a snarl. “When’s your birthday?” he said again, practically spitting the words out. The splattering silver whirled around him like a tornado. He tried not to look at it. He didn’t need his headache getting any worse.

Sahota still didn’t answer, so Hunter popped him across the other cheek.

“Do you really think this will get you anywhere?”

“You think I’d fucking know that?” Hunter snapped. “I’m not a psycho like you. I never tortured anyone.”

That seemed to have an effect, the gray getting a few shades darker in the middle of Sahota’s chest. Hunter’s mouth tipped up in a grin.

“S’wrong?” he said, circling the chair in an unhurried stride. “Don't like being called out on it?”

But just as fast, the gray was gone, and Sahota was quiet again. Of fucking course.

“When's your birthday?” Hunter said, this time leaning over the trainer's shoulder to hiss it into his ear.

“You’re sloppy,” Sahota replied, not seeming to care when Hunter popped him in the jaw. Barely even a grimace.

Sloppy. Just like he'd said when they fought the first time. Well who was the one getting hit? Sahota was sloppy, for letting the rest of the team have their way when an easier solution was right in front of them.

“When's your birthday?”

“Is that all you have to say? Does your entire plan revolve around asking the same question on repeat?”

“I told you, I don't have a fucking plan,” Hunter snapped, hitting him a little harder than he'd meant to. Closed fist tangling with the bruises on his cheek, reopening the cut that cracked his knuckles, rose petals.

That got a little gasp from Sahota. A blinking wince that made Hunter hesitate, his fist dropping to swing at his side.

I'm sorry. He wasn't. Sahota asked to do this, Sahota said he could hit him. He could take punches, they could both take punches, it was no big deal.

“I want to listen to Vic,” he said in a small voice. “I want to just… just kill her. If that's the easy way.”

Sahota's eyes narrowed. “You've never killed anyone.”

“Don't pretend you know me,” Hunter said, his voice rising again. “You don't know shit.”

He had, probably. He'd never actually watched them die, but he'd been in enough gunfights and brawls and shit that he'd probably killed someone. “I don't care, anyway,” he said, taking a half step backwards. The silver-spatter pattern swirled faster now, dizzy and bright. “Vic knows best, so if he says that's what we should do…”

“Vic doesn't always know best,” Sahota said. “Not for you.”

There it was. Hunter scowled, scanning the trainer's shape, seeing no sign of the jealous black cracks that had come crawling out of his throat before. Not like that meant shit. Maybe they weren't jealousy. He didn't know fuckall about what they could be because he didn't know fuckall about Sahota.

“What do you know about what's best?” he grumbled. Maybe he should've gone to Vic about this bright idea after all. Maybe this had all been a ploy to trick Hunter into going against Vic’s idea, to highlight him as a problem, to make him another outsider.

“I know this isn't the life you want," Sahota replied. "Finish this job and get out, or you'll end up wishing you had.”

Had Vic told him about the plan? About letting him stay? Was he just spouting this bullshit because he couldn't stand the thought of Hunter sticking around?

“You don't know what I want,” Hunter spat. “There’s nothing else for me. There's nothing else to want.”

Sahota grimaced. His gray was starting to darken at the center again, spreading like black clouds. “Harbor—”

“You want me to get out?” Hunter cut him off. “Fucking fine, I'll get out. Already said this was stupid.”

The green, the burning of chlorine in his nose hit him before he could turn around. Vic.

“Done already?” the handler asked in a voice that was danger-quiet. Like if Hunter answered wrong there'd be trouble. He'd heard it before. With teachers at school, with his dad at home, with Rex and the syndicate. 

He froze. Sometimes the best answer was silence.

“I heard you're running them through an impromptu training exercise, Sahota,” Vic said, and Hunter realized the tone wasn't for him. He felt the tension seep away from his shoulders; vines unwinding and hanging there like deadweight limbs.

“Quite an interesting lesson plan today.”

“It's a demonstration, sir.” Sahota’s eyes dropped. “Proof that interrogation doesn't work the way they think.”

“Oh? Do you not think my word is proof enough for them?”

“I didn't mean that.”

Vic clicked his tongue. “I was under the impression that today's training was meant to be a little more standardized. Was that a lie?”

“No, I… it seemed like something too small to bother you with. Once they failed, we'd move on. Nothing would change.”

“So you'd rather keep it from me.”

“No, sir.”

Vic let out a little hm, letting silence sit prickly in the room for what was probably a full minute before he spoke again. “I do apologize for interrupting.”

Sahota didn't lift his gaze. Or even say anything.

“It's fine,” Hunter put in. “This is a waste of time anyway. Right? We should just—”

“No no, it's not my place to swoop in and change the curriculum for the day,” Vic said, letting out a small sigh. “I'm sure it's exactly as beneficial as you say, Sahota.”

Hunter didn't know why the change in his tone wasn't letting him relax, why the splatters in the air were turning razored at the edges, why some anxious color was starting to squeeze him again.

“In fact, why don't I watch the rest of the lesson? It's interrogation, right? You're letting them ask you questions?”

“Yes, sir,” Sahota said in a flat voice. 

“Wonderful. Hunter?”

“Yeah?”

“Carry on.”

Hunter shook his hands loose, nervous energy bundling up in his fingers, tiny vines tangling between them like thread. Sticky and annoying. Vic wanted to watch? But what if he fucked it up? What if he wasn't good enough? 

“When's your birthday?” he asked, his tone emptier than it had been before. Sahota didn't answer, just like before. Hunter hit him, not like before. This time he was careful to aim for even, unbruised color, to pull back on the blow.

He turned back to face Vic, feet shuffling him away from the man in the chair. “That's what I've been doing, Vi—sir. Pretty much just that.” Nothing to see here, no reason to watch, to find faults.

Vic chuckled. “And this is your idea of an interrogation?”

Hunter shrugged, letting out a quiet, “guess so.” Vic couldn't blame him for being bad at it, right? He'd never done this before, so it wasn't his fault, right? All he had to go off of was movies and the bloodied remains of Rex’s discarded rivals, and at the time he was too busy hoping it would never be him dead on the cement to memorize the fucking injuries.

“Here.” His handler stood, laying a hand on his shoulder, gently guiding him so he was standing in front of Sahota again.

Silent, stony, Sahota.

“Let me help you out.” Vic pressed something into his hand. Cold metal, warmed by fingerprints. He didn't want to glance down, but it was from Vic, so he made himself look, eyes confirming the shape that he held. Brass knuckles.

A thought sped through his mind as he looked at them, wondering whether Vic just always had the weapon with him, or if he'd packed it for the occasion, if he knew this would be the outcome before he'd even stepped into the room.

“Try them on.”

Metal slipped past his fingertips to circle his knuckles, the shiny brown quickly choked out by dull green vines. Vic patted him on the shoulder.

“Looks good on you.”

Something pleasant zipped through Hunter at the words, but it felt wrong, out of place

“Go on, Hunter. Hit him again. And this time, don't hold back.” Vic squeezed his shoulder. “Let's show you what a real interrogation can look like.”

Hunter clenched his fist around the metal that enclosed them, letting it pinch the skin on the inside of his fingers. Hit him again, hit him with a weapon, hurt him, why did Vic want him to hurt him? Weren't he and Sahota partners?

“Vic…”

“What are you waiting for?” The handler leaned in, hands on his shoulders, lips on his ear. “Show me you can handle this much. Show me you belong here.”

Hunter tried to steady himself with an inhale, but the chlorine smell was choking him and the room was all dizzy from the spinning silver. He kept upright, locking his gaze on the man in the chair who sat stiff-backed. Unflinching.

He didn't want to hit him, he didn't want to hit him again, he hadn't even wanted to watch him get hit on the video two days ago but it was what Vic wanted.

The black cracks were back, branching out from the pit of Sahota's throat as they met eyes, and Hunter knew then that it wasn't hatred. It wasn't annoyance, or even jealousy.

It was fear.

~~~

@theonewithallthefixations , @violets-whumperflies , @whump-me , @pirefyrelight , @soheavyaburden , @snakebites-and-ink , @whumpsday , @kixngiggles , @echo-goes-aaa

[coelakanths]

“broke up” with my situationship and two days later he made me a 3hr long playlist consisting mostly of the smiths and radiohead I love the digital age

[epickiya722]

Aw, it's Eri!! 😭❤️

[lavenderjewels]

the first chapter of the jjk summer of ashes light novel is great because it’s the trio deciding to go their separate ways on their day off in the city but megumi is so plagued by the idea that yuuji will run into curses on his own or be an embarrassing tourist in akihabara that he invites himself to go with yuuji. then has the audacity to be complain about the trip

[snake-spotted]

er so I got locked in my bathroom today for 5 hours bc the handle broke. no one could hear me shouting so in the end I bust a hole in the door big enough for me to climb out (bc the handle literally won't open). so. today was A Day.

[dawdlecentric]

Yeag...

[spentgladiator]

the thing about being me

is that due to being forced to spend a majority of my life around people who are rancid and horrible

I have a poker face carved out of stone

so as to not tip off to the people who are rancid and horrible that I think they're rancid and horrible

Lest they turn the rancid horror in my direcrion

but instead they just show their asses to someone who seems so nonjudgemental

and also I keep all of my cards very close to my chest around new people until asses have indeed been shewn

And all that is to say

I trained a new girl at work tonight who admitted blatantly to my face to having been fired from Tim fucking Hortons for doing an transphobia and holy shit Timothy fuckin Hortons I will continue to purchase your mediocre food and beverages.... real allyship.... bitch deserved it

[ejga-ostja]

Kaz and Wylan using Kerch endearments for each other >>>>>>

[icantalk710]

Figuring out which of these two shirts I bought at the Two Door Cinema Club show I like more, and I'm leaning towards brown but I like the cute design on the Eat That Up It's Good For You one 😩🤔

[ningtual]

btw saesangs are fucking crazy and if karma is real then they'll all get what they deserve .... and then tbz keep winning bc they signed with the company baekhyun & taemin are also under 🙂‍↕️🙂‍↕️ stay winning boys

[duncneydivorce]

not to sound like a monster fucker but I have a guilty pleasure for human/ non-human ships. I like what wanda/vision says about Wanda’s character and it’s very fitting to me she would have a significant romance with a mysterious otherworldly being. Her shape of water moment fr I love that for her.

That being said vision is somewhat of a plague to the maximoffs. While I enjoy the good moments of their relationships I think it’s vastly outweighed by the bad. I don’t blame vision for the white vision stuff or other robo-shenanigans. But both wanda AND pietro were so often turned into props in service of vision’s drama. And man they loved to drag it out. This wasn’t always the case but it happened enough to cause some serious and permanent damage to their characters. That’s my real problem with wanda/vision and the reason I have no attachment for this ship.

I appreciate the tender moments of their relationship and that vision will always be connected to the maximoffs in one way or another, but I’m just so sick of him constantly coming back into their spheres, especially because half the time it’s always about centring the robot. The fact that all this scarletvision bait as of late is to pander to mcu fans just makes me even more bitter towards the pairing. They broke up like 30 years ago marvel move on!

[baxterstockmanisthecenterfold]

I just realized I'm literally the only person on the planet that makes fanart of IDW Stockman... 😶

[lennies-blog]

Sky Sport Interview Special - "Hardenacke meets.. Episode 3" with Mick Schumacher

English Translation below the cut 😊

Peter Hardenacke: „‘Hardenacke meets…‘ Episode 3 and from a very special place at that! We are in Kerpen, at the Michael Schumacher Kart Centre, and are meeting his son, Mick Schumacher. We’re excited!”

PH: “Mick! I’m glad we found the time to talk! A very special place, Kerpen, hometown of your dad, Michael. I think the name ‘Kerpen’ is immediately connected to the Schumacher family! What does it mean to you?”

Mick: “Ehm.. childhood is the best word I believe I can use. Because I was here very often as a child, I drove karts here – well not here exclusively, also at the track in Kerpen-Manheim – and it was a very lovely time, a time where you didn’t think too much and just had fun.”

PH: “So Kerpen is a piece of home for you in a way? You’re on the road a lot with Formula 1, the US is a location for you, Switzerland.. Where would you say is home for you?”

Mick: “Switzerland, really. Just because I grew up there and we have our house there. Therefore, it’s home. But I definitely see this as my second home and have my friends here, so I love to be in this part of Germany.”

PH: “What were you like as a child? As a student in particular?”

Mick: “What I was like as a child? Well, someone who has been very distracted, because he had something really nice and that was karting. That’s where my thoughts have always been, even in school. And I always went here or to another kart track near straight away and was allowed to drive races and I knew from a very young age that I only wanted to race and luckily it went in that direction.” 

PH: “We’re going to come back to that later – but staying at that, your time at school..”

Mick:  *laughs* “I’d rather forget about that!” 

PH: “I’d love to see that in front of me! How was Mick as a student?”

Mick: “Ah! How was I as a student? Well, I really liked German and English, because I was better at that than most of the others, ehm, but my absolute favourite subject was sports! It was always quite nice, school, of course, but my favourite was being at the racetrack or at home.”

PH: “And karting, when did that start?”

Mick: “Well, I had my first kart at 2 ½ years old, 2 years old and drove around the yard with it and a bit later at 4 years old it got cross tyres, a chain saw engine (I have no clue if it’s the right translation, never heard of it) and I got a quad on top of that, the motorbike at 5 years old.. I then had a nice arsenal to choose from, but always used the kart. At home we had a little hill, where I always came at with verve and jumped over it with the kart! I loved that! And a bit later the kart grew and with it the urge to drive. I started my first race at 8 in Spain, if I’m not mistaken and.. yeah, I never stopped racing since.”

PH: “And when have you known ‘That’s going to be it!’ regarding the direction you want to go to.. Because I think Michael never really wanted that for you both? I watched the documentary about you in the intro he said, ‘Oh well, if possible, it would be great if they would do something else!’, right?”

Mick: “Yeah, but I never wanted to do anything else! *grins* My dad asked me when I was 11 years old if I’d rather come here to play football, to hang out with friends and my answer was very clear that I wanted to do it, to do it properly, and decided the following year to drive international or to start at bigger national races and then also race internationally, Europe Championship, World Championship, ESK and what else they had back then. And that was basically the start to ‘professional racing’.”

PH: “And the decision was made here, right? Where you discussed it?”

Mick: “In Kerpen, in the KS Imbus.“

PH: „And what were the changes for you then? You already said it all got a bit bigger, also with all journeys, but regarding what you invested or were allowed to invest yourself, was that a big change?”

Mick: “Yeah, along the lines of not taking your helmet off and going off to play again, but rather think about it, what you can change to get faster, think about the driving itself, what I can do better – of course, at that time I was around 11, 12 and you don’t really think about (physical) training as it is way too early for such a small body – but just simple thoughts afterward and not running off, talking to the mechanic about what to do with the kart to get faster.”

PH: “How big was the influence of Michael at that time already? Could you learn something about how he works, which approach he had to some things?”

Mick: “I think at that age you don’t really perceive what happens around you. Of course, I knew that Papa was a racing driver, but what all that entailed wasn’t that clear, yet. And.. I always knew that I wanted to do it, but I didn’t know how hard it was actually going to be. So, I know what Papa meant by saying ‘Rather do something else!’, but in the end, I am incredibly proud to have taken this path and seen it through until the end. And without his support, his tips, and everything I wouldn’t have ended up where I did.”

PH: “What kind of feedback was it? You know about the dads who are always there at football practice, cheering and talking at them during the matches.. Was there a kind of exchange.. when you drove..?”

Mick: “Not at all. The exchange was always that he tried different tactics. Sometimes he tried to be very strict, sometimes not at all, always tried to see ‘what does Mick react to?’ and there were always a few moments where I actually had to think about ‘Okay, what did I do wrong now?’, but those were always moments that brought me forward, so I really liked this up and down, this inconsistency in a way, because it’s not that different in motorsport. You meet people who are giving you everything, who support you 100%, and some you are not behind you 100% and you still must deliver the performance.”

PH: “So he had a really good feeling about you-“

Mick: “Very good”

PH: “-what you need at that time, if you need a bit more pressure, or a hand steadying you.. so that was mainly where he had a good feeling about you.”

Mick: “Exactly”

PH: “So not like with Max Verstappen, where he -  do you know that story? (*Mick nods*) - Where he (Jos) left him (Max) at a gas station?”

Mick: “And he had to walk.”

PH: “And he had him collected by the mum an hour later because the result wasn’t good?” *laughs*

Mick: *With a very neutral voice and expression* “No, we didn’t have that, no.” 

PH: “How was it for you in general with the pressure? I mean it’s always there anyway and you also put it on yourself, to win races, to get better, but also to get a foot in with that name in the karting scene? Was there ever someone, or didn’t everyone say, ‘Now here comes the son of Michael’ and was that a special burden?”

Mick: “No, not at all, because Papa never gave me that pressure. So it was super easy to just do what I wanted to do, in a sense of how hard I wanted to push myself or not, and as I said Papa had an amazing feeling for it ‘Don’t think about it too hard, we’ll do the best that we can’ and it was clear from the very beginning of what Papa said and also Mama that if I don’t want to do it then I don’t have to. And that has taken a lot of pressure off me.”

PH: “What was your biggest talent?”

Mick: “The first lap. These one-on-one battles, the first laps, let’s say when I didn’t start from pole to always fight my way up to the front when the field was very compact, making the right decisions, which line to take, or when I started from the front to have a kind of calmness and to not take on the pressure but to start the race relaxed.”

PH: “Timo is also saying that about you, Timo Glock (former F1 pilot and current fellow Sky Germany host) because I talked to him about you before I talked to you. He said what had always been impressive about Mick was his racing intelligence. To know when to do what, he said that is really distinctive with you. Would you agree?”

Mick: “Yeah, I would agree. It’s a lot of fun for me, so it might be a bit easier for me.”

PH: “You started your Formula career via karting, with Van Amersfoort, which memories do you have of that time?”

Mick: “My first year in Formula 4�� (I remember) That those were the first 2 weekends that I had, so the first 6 races in my career and they were an absolute rollercoaster. From an average race to win to a crash to a broken thumb, it was all within those first 6 races that I had, but it was still a very nice time. I learned a lot from Van Amersfoort and definitely took it with me to my second season that I then did with Prema and yeah, where it went relatively well.”

PH: “Fritz van Amersfoort said that you above all always tried to improve, looked at where those possibilities were, such a meticulousness that you have taken with you from how you learned it.”

Mick: “Yes, I think so, too. I had it in me then and it guided me throughout my whole career, this ‘always try to improve and always trying to get the best out of the package that you had’.”

PH: “Then you went on to Prema, Formula 3, Formula 2, and particularly in the second seasons always taking the big leaps. Why was that do you think? That you always needed the first year to settle in? Was that normal?”

Mick: “No, we had some difficulties in the first year with technical problems that you can’t really see. We were always well off regarding the speed, ehm.. so we could’ve been further up in the championship, but that’s all history in the end. We won in the second year and that’s what counts.”

PH: “When was it clear to you that the step up to Formula 1 was happening?”

Mick: “With the Formula 3 victory.”

PH: “In Spa?” (Referring to Mick’s first race win in F3)

Mick: “No, with the championship”

PH: “Ah okay, I thought. But the first race win was in Spa?”

Mick: “Yes, the first win was in Spa, with the first pole position and the first win. But to win the championship was the first moment for me when I thought ‘I can do it’ and that I do have a little talent to be able to make it.”

PH: “When you said ‘Phew, I can do it!’ – were there doubts along the way?”

Mick: “Doubts? I think if you don’t drive without any then you would never try to achieve the 100%. And I think it’s very important as a racing driver but also a person to doubt yourself – of course to a certain degree – but, to always try to get better, and to get the best out of yourself. If you’re too self-assured, then you’ll say ‘Oh well, I achieved everything’ and you lean back and then.. it starts going backward.”

PH: “How was the transition then? I remember when we met in 2019 at Nürburgring when you were supposed to drive for Alfa (Romeo), the first free practice, and it rained too hard that it didn’t work out. Many believed back then it could work out with Alfa and in the end it was Haas, take us with you again on this journey.”

Mick: “Ehm.. I mean the Formula 2 season was that you had the last race in Europe in Monza and then you had this big break before the last race in Abu Dhabi. Ehh, Bahrain, sorry. And in between was (F1) Nürburgring, for example, where we were supposed to drive the FP1, but didn’t due to the weather. And then it was clear that for the last race of Formula 1 in Abu Dhabi I was supposed to drive the last FP1 for Haas. What went quite well for me. I was feeling well very quickly and yeah, it became clear pretty quickly that that would be the next step for me for the next year. And I then won the championship, which was my first goal before getting into Formula 1, the first goal I then reached, the second goal still being open, which is to become World Champion, so.. I’m still working on that.”

PH: “Which I’m sure is going to work out. Mick, regarding the decision, when that happened, how was it to reach this milestone for you?”

Mick: “You can only be 100% sure when it’s signed by both parties. And when that was the case I was really happy, that I got this chance. But when I was really, really happy was when I drove the first race.”

PH: “How was that first meeting with Günther Steiner, do you still remember it?”

Mick: “Pfft.. Ehh.. In Bahrain when I did the seat fit. That was the first time when I met Günther.” 

PH: “What was your first impression back then?”

Mick: “Well, back then ‘Drive to Survive’ was already out, so I had an impression of Günther, already, but yeah, it was like you would imagine.”

PH: “That first year in Formula 1 was under hard circumstances anyway, I believe, with Haas practically knocked off, basically driving the race for oneself. And what you had to do, to beat your teammate Nikita Mazepin at the time, you did. What did you take with you in this first year?” 

Mick: “Yeah, we had our highs two or three times, with a Q2 appearance, which wasn’t thinkable at that time, but we did it and that was really nice. The first one was in Turkey, the second one was in Paul Ricard. But if you drive a car that is soo inferior, I mean our highest downforce setup, the Monaco downforce, was even higher than the downforce setup for Ferrari. So that’s how you can imagine that it had nothing to do with it (the 2021 Haas). And even if I drive the cars now, from Mercedes for example, the 2021 car that I drove at Goodwood, which I was allowed to test prior at Silverstone, that has nothing to do with it (the 2021 Haas). So it makes sense why Lewis and Valterri were able to drive those times when we really had to fight for, but I personally think that it’s good that I also achieved something with the car that I had at that time. Of course, it was a bit different in the season after that, but you couldn’t really learn a lot when you’ve only ever taken a look at your own data and didn’t really have a comparison and the team expects you to develop the car but we didn’t have any experience from Formula 2 how to develop a car, so those are all processes that you learn from a teammate of course, who might have some experience, or needs the time to learn it himself. In that case, I sadly didn’t have the time to really learn that myself.”

PH: “And in the second year, Nikita Mazepin had to leave after testing, Kevin Magnussen came – who came back from pre-retirement in a way – as your teammate. How was the dynamic within the team before the season started in Bahrain?”

Mick: “The dynamic was positive, of course everyone was happy that Kevin was back, and had placed their bets on him in that case. It was the first time for me to be able to collect experience from a teammate. Sadly, because we had such difficulties within the first year, we adopted some habits, that fit that (2021) car really well, but not to the new one. Which we then tried to change with new setups and whatnot and Kevin simply drove, which we probably should’ve done, too. Because those are such minor details, which when you have too few people who are looking after two cars will of course get difficult. But yeah, we made the best out of what we got and still had some few successes throughout that whole year that were positive.”

PH: “You have pressured yourself a bit too, then, with the crash that you had in Saudi Arabia, in Monaco was another one, the situation with Sebastian Vettel, where you had the duel where you could’ve driven into the points where it didn’t work out in the end – how did you experience it back then for yourself? Also what came then, from your team principle, from Günther Steiner, from your team principle? Would you have needed something different to be able to show the bets you’ve got?”

Mick: “I mean I don’t want to justify myself there, but there is more about the crash and the situations than meets the eye. Because there were things there that were depicted way worse – about the crashes and about me – than they actually were. And of course, if you then have a person that is very active in the media who is taking this thing with them and is building this thing up in a way that it didn’t have to be built up in. Of course, it wasn’t ideal, it was not ideal. Because everyone crashes. And in that situation in Saudi Arabia, I was relatively happy that I was okay and certain people then started talking about something else that was unnecessary and.. just tried to.. to make a complicated situation out of a situation. Didn’t really like that, and yeah, I’m with you there, I could’ve needed something different, especially when I’m looking at how it’s actually supposed to be when I’m at my new role at Mercedes with Toto Wolff, but also with different team principles, for example at McLaren or Williams, then the two 2 years had nothing to do with it. You can’t expect your drivers to be able to show their best when they’re not supported in the right kind of way. So much about that. But I learned a lot, I learned a lot as a person and in the end, no one will ever give you flowers, you have to pick them yourself, I know that now. And I feel ready to fight again and to show what I can actually do because I think a lot of people don’t actually know what I can do.”

PH: “Mick, what I have always found very admirably, which I think I’ve always told you, is the calmness that you had. You were never rattled by anyone, were always in balance, and were able to free yourself from that pressured situation, by driving into the points, in Austria, in Silverstone, the curve went upwards, and that despite the little experience that you have. When you now look back at that situation, would you still say that you would’ve done something differently, that you should’ve stepped back at one point and said ‘Until here and no further’? Or are you at peace with yourself and would say everything was okay the way it went for myself and for my part?”

Mick: “In the end, you are always wiser. I always say ‘Woulda shoulda coulda’, it is how it is, I experienced the situation how I did and handled it how I did, and looking back, sure, you can always do something differently. Would you want to do something differently? Maybe. But all in all, I am the person I am today because of those experiences. If I tried to undo all my mistakes retrospectively or to improve them, I would not have the desire now to improve myself. I am the person I am today because of the experience I have had, and I know what I am able to do and what I am worth and can, hopefully when I get the next chance, do it better accordingly.”

PH: “You have already described it a bit how it is with Toto Wolff, for example, who is looking after you – how would assess the next year? All of the German Formula and motorsport community is hoping for you for you to drive in Formula 1 again. What do you think is happening now? Which options do you have?”

Mick: “Well there is not a lot moving at the moment, a lot of the drivers are set, a lot of the drivers have a set long term contract, of which many end at the end of next year, so we have to see. The season is still long. I am in touch with Toto a lot, we think about what we can do daily. But in the end the decision is not mine to make, sadly. I can only present myself and say ‘This is what you can get, this is what you can expect’. I know that I have yet a lot to give, that I want to show a lot more, can show more, and that’s what I fight for now.”

PH: “What you can also see with Alex Albon, who also made it back to Formula 1 with a little detour. Is there a Plan B for next year, in case it’s not working out with Formula 1?”

Mick: “Sadly, I have to say yes, there is a Plan B, but I have to talk about that a little later on. Yes, there is a Plan B.”

PH: “What do you wish for, for the future?”

Mick: “Well hopefully another chance in Formula 1, that is my goal, that is what I want to do, where I see myself. That is my life. I have worked 15 years of my life towards it and won’t settle for being out after 2 years. Therefore, that’s  my goal, that’s what I want to do, that’s what I fight for now and will do my best.”

PH: “Our fingers are crossed! Mick, thank you!”