#and I was really encouraged by a post where someone said they just started rowing for 3 minutes and then added 15-30 seconds every time

[choixsimple]

it's honestly so fucked up that moving your body does actually make you feel better even if it's just for a few minutes. like what the fuck

[restrictedreadingtwst]

What are the first years like in their classes? What stereotypes do they fit into and how well they get along with their classmates? Who knows what kind of shenanigans they get into, but these are just some headcanons I've thought up of. Inspired by a post I made on my old blog.

tw: none

Group: Ace Trappola, Deuce Spade, Jack howl, Epel Felmier, Ortho Shroud, + Sebek Zigvolt

✧. ┊ "𝒜𝓂 𝐼… 𝒶 ��𝒶𝒹 𝓅𝑒𝓇𝓈𝑜𝓃… 𝐼 𝒹𝑜𝓃'𝓉 𝑔𝒾𝓋𝑒 𝒶 𝒻𝓊𝒸𝓀."

Sharing a class with Ace is very much like having a know-it-all clown in class who makes very unnecessary comments to almost every little thing your professor says. He’s trying to make a joke to entertain his growing boredom of the subject but instead usually gets in trouble or a light scolding for interrupting the class. But the quiet snickering of his fellow classmates only encourages this behavior of his, so he’ll pursue these actions up until it goes too far and suddenly there is a pop quiz on the topic he so clearly hasn’t been paying attention to. 

Another thing, in between classes changing or teachers leaving to step out into the hall for another matter, Ace isn’t afraid to slide on over to where some of his friends may be seated and goof off for a quick minute or two. He’ll purposely sit on their desks, whispering about upcoming exams and trying to get his friends to open up about study guides or any cheat sheets they plan on using. He’s not gonna be studying hard when he can just cheat off his classmates and other, more smarter fellows. 

Say goodbye to any of your clean sheets of papers cuz they will fall victim to his boredom. Small doodles in the margins, passing notes and sharing jokes all while having to hold back his own laughter at his friend’s expressions. If that’s not enough, when he thinks no one else is watching he’ll crump up the paper into a ball or fold it into paper planes and make the trash his personal basketball hoop and see how many he can get into a row. Of course, he isn’t slick at all and ends up getting detention, having to clean all the classrooms after-hours but hey, he got a smile and laugh out from his friends. 

After that day, he’ll swear off his shenanigans and ‘clean up his behavior and act as a model student’. Only to return to his ways two classes later. Whoops!

✧. ┊ "𝒟𝑜 𝓎𝑜𝓊 𝓉𝒽𝒾𝓃𝓀 𝐼 𝓀𝓃𝑜𝓌 𝓌𝒽𝒶𝓉 𝒶 𝒫𝒶𝓃𝒾𝓃𝒾 𝒾𝓈???"

Deuce is the spitting image of the golden retriever, alert and focused during classes. But even he gets tired of the boring lessons and absent mindlessly will draw on his papers, acting surprised when he snaps back into reality and notices what he’s done on his research paper. He will pout before getting a new paper and start all over again, albeit with a new urgency as his teacher was already getting onto the next subject and he’s not gonna have all his notes down. Oh well, he can only hope that either Yuu or Ace has them written. 

Deuce in his past may have been a delinquent and act a fool in school, he’d since renounced his own actions and has worked to be a better person. That being said, he’s always the victim in the small pranks or being dragged along in another’s actions. For one, some people like to use his desk as a chair when having conversations with him or those around him, so anything he’s working on either gets crumpled or he’s forced to listen into whatever this person has to say. Another thing is that Deuce is really gullible so he will believe anything someone says, mentally coming up with a reasonable excuse as to why it would be so. Hence being the butt of too many jokes surrounding his cluelessness. 

Something that deuce does is be a bother without noticing. Often, he’ll catch himself muttering to himself, trying to process his thinking but because he has a complicated way of thinking, he not only confuses himself but those around him who only can sit and suffer through his ridiculous thinking. You can not cheat off of Deuce because he doesn’t even know if he’s answering the questions right. At the end, he thinks he does well but those around him know that he might have just failed the entire course because nothing he said made sense. Deuce doesn’t know how to keep his thoughts to himself, it seems. 

Deuce does his best to attend his classes and excel in what he feels confident in, he won’t return to his old ways.

✧. ┊ "𝒪𝒽 𝑔𝑜𝒹, 𝐼'𝓂 𝓈𝓊𝓇𝓇𝑜𝓊𝓃𝒹𝑒𝒹 𝒷𝓎 𝒾𝒹𝒾𝑜𝓉𝓈."

Like a lone wolf, he takes pride in spending as much time in his courses to stand alone or rarely being seen with others from the same dorm. Jack is an observer in a lot of his class’s shenanigans, but he will stand up and stop anybody who takes things way too far.  Honestly, the amount of times he’s seen someone pull some stupid stunt only to be hurt or scolded and made an example to the class is far too many. He may be surrounded by idiots but he knows when to step in before a certified adult does. He does care, but likes only a little bit.  

Once you get to know him, you’ll find that he’s a rather good listener. While his classmates goof around, he pays attention to a lot of the little things people would miss. That table the boys are sitting on has a loose screw on one of the legs, or how the floorboards outside in the hall creak whenever someone important seems to be walking towards the classroom. He is the designated alert dog, the moment you see his ears twitch, everyone stares at him before sounding some kind of alarm that a staff member is coming and soon everyone is cleaning up and returning to their seats.

Sometimes, if he successfully answers a question or gets a really good score on an assignment that he’s been working really hard on, his tail will wag behind him. It truly does betray him cuz on the one hand, he’s so stoic on the outside and acts as if his passing grade is nothing, that it’s easy. But internally, he is just a giant happy puppy and is proud of himself. Pointing this out, he’ll tuck his tail between his legs and swear that it was their eyes playing tricks on them, that he doesn’t wag his tail. The remainder of class he’s embarrassed.

Jack isn’t the type to fool around, rather he’s very much the older brother who keeps an eye out for his fellow classmates even if he acts like he doesn’t care.

✧. ┊ "𝐼 𝓌𝑜𝓊𝓁𝒹 𝓈𝑒𝓁𝓁 𝓎𝑜𝓊 𝒻𝑜𝓇 𝒶𝓃 𝒶𝓅𝓅𝓁𝑒."

Epel can not keep his own thoughts in his own head, oftentimes leading to small arguments or even full out shouting matches. He is very blunt when outside of the supervision of Vil, never backing down from a fight if he’s involved. If he’s not involved, then he’s instigating a fight that Jack later has to break up. Epel just is known to blurt out some nonsense and everyone just has to have a say on it, it’s rather hilarious if you think about it, even more so if he does so with his thick country accent instead of the polite one. 

When he’s bored, he’ll be fiddling around with his hands like flipping his eraser on the desk, another doodler but on the desks. His worst habit is when he takes out a small pocket knife and starts carving his pencil or anything he can get his hands on. There was an incident where in potions class, he was carving into some root plant he needed to use for class and had the worst time having to part with it. Crewel had to force it out of his hands and threw it into the cauldron while he started in despair. 

If he’s not roughhousing or jumping around his seat, then he could find himself getting into a deep conversation with his seatmate. He finds himself rambling about some childhood story of his and beginnings oversharing. But because he’s from the country and raised by a large family who do all kinds of farmwork, his stories are interesting and people are drawn into his tales. Sometimes, he bonds with his boys because they share similar experiences before making plans to recreate stunts they did as kids, Epel more than thrilled to have something to do after class other than his practice with Vil. 

Epel likes to create drama for others, he likes watching the drama or even being hands first in the fray. But if word gets out to Vil that he’s misbehaving, he’ll kill everyone in that room and Jack can’t stop him.

✧. ┊ "𝒲𝒶𝒾𝓉 𝒮𝒸𝑜𝑜𝒷𝓎 𝒟𝑜𝑜 𝒾𝓈 𝒶 𝒷𝒶𝒹 𝓌𝑜𝓇𝒹? 𝒪𝒽 𝑀𝓂 𝒢𝑒𝑒! … 𝒮-𝒮𝒞𝒪𝒪𝐵𝒴𝒟𝒪𝒪"

Ortho is a special case in that he’s attending his brother’s classes in his stead. But his classmates do like Ortho, some seeing him as a really nice kid so they always are inviting him to things. He loves to be included in projects, being a really big help to the students and never wanting anything in return; really he is such a sweet bean. It’s rather unfortunate that he picks up some of his classmates' bad habits like cursing and sudden outbursts. But Ortho will just get a light scolding later from Idia who monitors his behavior. 

Similar to Jack, Ortho doesn’t really fool around in class and rather keeps an eye out for everyone. If someone needs help with their homework, he’s more than happy to lend a servo and guide them through it. He’s an intelligent lifeform, of course he can browse the web for the right information but of course, he shows them how instead of giving them a straight answer. But if someone needs help and is being bullied in class, he’s not afraid to threaten the teens with a quick laser beam or two, leaving everyone screaming out apologizes and leaving the class sheltering for the worst, but he only does this as a joke. Someone then breaks it to him that these kind of jokes aren't really funny in a school setting. he'll have to ask Idia bout that later, apologizing for the scare. 

Since Ortho isn’t really a student, in courses where there is no need for him to attend like PE, he stands out and gets to run around. Adventure in the courtyard, visit the Monstro Lounge, even taking a quick pit stop in the library. He is always looking for something to do while school is in session, so he keeps a good eye out for anything that stands out. 

Ortho is nothing more than a sweet boy, so he is rather unaffected by most of the staff and student body.

✧. ┊ "𝒯𝑒𝒶𝒸𝒽𝑒𝓇𝓈 𝓅𝓁𝑒𝒶𝓈𝑒 𝑒𝓍𝒸𝓊𝓈𝑒 𝓂𝓎 𝓅𝑜𝓉𝓉𝓎 𝓂𝑜𝓊𝓉𝒽, 𝒮𝐻𝒰𝒯 𝒯𝐻𝐸 𝐹𝒰𝒞𝒦 𝒰𝒫!"

Sebek is all no nonsense, should anyone dare to step out of line in his class, they will be quickly reprimanded. Clearly, he is very much engaged in the subject so he doesn’t want the teacher to be disturbed. However, what he doesn’t account for is the fact that he gets in trouble by merely speaking as he’s so loud and interrupts the class when he’s telling someone else to shut up. He apologies but he’ll not stop his evil glares towards those who dare threaten his education. 

While everyone is messing around, he could be found engaged with whatever paperwork he has left to finish or deep in a book he picked up from the library or gifted to him. While chaos ensues, he is minding his own business until he begins to grow annoyed and has to shout over everyone to shut it, frustrated by the amount of clear disrespect for the teacher and the classroom. He is the teacher's pet who can lift, should anyone dare to talk back they will get an earful from Sebek and his intimating aura. 

While he is very much studious and always on top of his assignments, because of his constant belief that he needs to be at the ready to serve his master, there have been times he’s slipped up. From leaving his homework in his dorm after running out in the morning to catch up with his companions to forgetting to meet up with his project mates for that upcoming presentation. He’s started piling up more failures on his part which he beats himself up about. He swears he’ll make it up and fix his issues, and he does eventually. But that doesn’t mean he doesn’t keep making these mistakes, which no matter how many times you tell him that it’s ok to make mistakes, he will still take these to the grave. 

Sebek is very much a good student, really could be the top of his class if he tried. It’s just a matter of whether or not his classmates like him or not.

[danganronpa96]

Hi Lenn! According to you, who would each DR69 and DR96 character listen to (musically speaking)? Who would be their favourite artist/favourite song? (just a silly question to distract me from chapter 4) (you guys need to pay my therapy/j)

Btw, thanks a lot, both to you and Rexx, for everything you do for the fic! I love your writing and also the amazing art!🫠❤️ We’ll patiently wait for chapter 5, but I’m sure it will be FANTASTIC, as always🥹 love ya🫶🏻

It’s funny how I received two similar music asks in a row, but because this one is actually a different question on the topic, I can answer this one separately!

However, since even the last music post had me in agony (/j), I don’t think I’m going to go through every single character’s individual favourite song and artist, and moreso just their music taste (especially since some characters would canonically listen to music from cultures or genres I don’t listen to or know much about myself).

DR96

Hayasaka - most people would say classical, but my big brain (/lh) has bestowed the headcanon ever: vocaloid. I think it would be funny if this man had a secret love for the music, walking to work listening to the most depressing or cutesy song known to Earth. His favourite producer would probably be wowaka (rip) or 40mp.

Kurumada - that kind of grunge, heavy beat, but sort of depressing music? Not trap per say, but like r&b and rap. Or whatever is playing at the gym at the time, sometimes a song will get added to his workout playlist if it sounds good enough.

Mai - she’s that kind of pop girl, but also likes some more sombre songs here and there. Definitely indulges in songs with playful and or sensual lyrics.

Walter - (this is where my disclosure starts to show) Like classic, 50-80s songs. Jazz and blues, or something he can sing along to on the radio.

Jesse - hip-hop, trap, some heavy metal, rock, techno and house music. Anything with a stanky-ass beat (/lh) and Jesse will probably listen to it.

Saiki - I’ve given him the headcanon that he listens to hyperpop, speedcore and breakcore. I got the idea from another tumblr post that said he’d use loud, scratchy music to try and block out the thoughts of other people. It’s implied that’s what he was listening to during chapter 3 as well!

Kaidou - what we all listened to when we were 13 and wanted to be edgy. Also fandom songs (I know this isn’t nationally accurate unless there are hardcore jp fandom song fans lol), and video game OSTs that make him feel powerful.

Retsuko - heavy metal, obviously. But, I think she also likes pop and idol music, considering her history with that, hehe

Natsuki - vocaloid hardcore to the max (some favourite producers be like deco*27 and syudou). Also J-pop/idol music (and some video game OSTs).

Yuri - now I think she would like some classical music, considering her whole elegant aesthetic. I think she’d personally like piano and violin arrangements though, since they are relaxing to listen to while reading. I think she would be convinced to listen to some J-pop after Natsuki begs encourages her.

Hiroshi - he would be a classical guy too, but he would also enjoy some video game OSTs (since he’s kind of a certified gamer if you consider the novels and that chibi anime thingy).

Brian - anything past 1996 would be periodically inaccurate, but I feel like he’s the type of guy who’d try to listen to anything if someone recommended it to him. I think he’d enjoy new-age, or something relaxing on par with the vibes of his game’s OST (synth… rock? I’m not a genres expert).

Bojack - it’s either something really depressing or really sexual and there is just that scale and nothing else

Latte - canonically, folk and symphony since I think that’s the sort of music Parfaedia has. Although, she’d also listen to jazz and dance (she that type of teacher to play music in class all the students try to grin and bare because no one listens to it anymore /lh)

L - whatever music is scientifically proven to enhance focus. Classical? Some jazz? I feel like L likes to work in silence, but with music on the bare occasion.

Ena - something that we would not be able to comprehend if we heard it. Lyrics that sound like 14 different languages all mashed up together. Instruments that shouldn’t exist. Voices that shouldn’t exist. The same song that runs for 4 minutes on the first play, 15 seconds on the second, and 2 hours on the third. Or just webcore/weirdcore instrumental music lmao

DR69

Luigi - calm jazz and swing, I also think he be into acoustic arrangements.

Mario - I think he’d listen to energetic music to get himself pumped up. But also enjoys the folk music of the mushroom kingdom.

Peter - I would say 50-90s songs, ranging from classic hits to goofy ass songs (like the Rock Lobster bit)

Brian - I think he’s into ska, jazz, and blues. Also very pretentious with his music taste lol

Miku - Pop, dance, techno and electronica are her mains, but she can dabble into any genre. Likes to support and listen to her other fellow voice synth’s music.

Teto - rock, but also some dance/pop. Secretly enjoys listening to Miku’s songs (as long as she’s not around)

Nagito - nicher artists of alt and synth. I don’t think he’d be into mainstream music. Also depressing lyrics are his go-to lol

Sans - ironically, the stankiest beat you’ve ever heard and penis music (rubber band). Unironically, some smooth tunes akin to Nastablook’s music taste.

Parappa - rap, hip-hop, r&b and dance. Could unironically make a great rap over the instrumentals of ‘A Pimp Named Slickback’.

Fluttershy - Equestria folk music, acapella and that musical-type genre they have in the show’s music.

Ayano - whatever her Senpai is listening to. So, I would assume the latest trending J-pop mostly.

Ashley - rock and alt. Emo type beat. Mainly female vocals. One or two heavy metal songs. Any other warioware cast member will die upon listening to any of it lol

2D - his favourite band is canonically The Human League, so other new wave and synth-pop stuff too.

Mr. Krabs - sea shanties, unironically. He probably sang a lot of them while on the navy.

Dedede - (I have no Kirby lore but I must scream) I feel like he’d play classical music in his castle to give off those regal king vibes. But he’d also enjoy energetic music like his boss battle themes.

The Conductor - western and western movie soundtracks. Also some smooth jazz and soul. I like to think he likes the sounds of the piano the most, from the ‘heart to heart’ OST

Also, TYSM for the lovely words!! I’m so happy to hear how much you’ve enjoyed the fic so far! 😭❤️

[moremaybank]

that Klaus is in love with you and you with him and have a relationship, but that Elijah secretly loves you and you do not reciprocate his feelings (headcanons)

being in a loving relationship with klaus mikaelson while elijah mikaelson is secretly in love with you, but you don't reciprocate his feelings would include...

warnings: slight violence

elijah masterlist

when elijah first met you, he couldn't lie, he was happy for his younger brother

klaus had found someone to spend his life with

someone who was kind-hearted, brave, tenacious, and inspired goodness in klaus

of course he noticed your raw and undeniable beauty, but he chose to cast that thought aside, instead choosing to tell himself that now, finally, he wasn't the only one who still saw klaus as someone who could one day find redemption

but then you moved into the compound

and elijah had a front-row seat to the love fest between you and klaus

he saw how happy you made his brother

the good and playful side in Klaus he once knew starting to make a reappearance

he witnessed the loving kisses, the soft words of encouragement

he also heard sounds of your...lovemaking

that wasn't great

but the more elijah saw the way you treated his brother with such tenderness, the more he wanted that love for himself

you two start to bond and that makes everything so much harder

because you're talking about a book you've both read and all elijah can focus on is your lips as you speak to him

and the way your hair falls down perfectly

and how your perfume smells

the mikaelson's throw a party at the compound and to elijah, you're the only woman in the room

he protects you from the mikaelson's enemies like it's his first instinct

when you're working together on missions he's in awe of your intelligence and your bravery

he admires how you would do anything to protect his family just as he would

whenever you and klaus fight, elijah can't help but give in to the voice in his head saying he could treat you better than klaus (hey google, play boyfriend by dove cameron)

he tries to console you after these fights and sometimes his thoughts become selfish

like "what would she do if i kissed her right now? if i brushed away the tears from her cheeks and just kissed her softly?"

but then he's reminded that you're in love with his brother, and he knows his brother is in love with you

and after tatia, could he really hurt his brother like that again?

and the way you make klaus a better person is far more important than throwing all of that away over some selfish feelings for a girl who is taken

so he keeps his mouth shut

although you're not just any girl

you're y/n

one day klaus catches the way elijah looks at you as you walk past him

"longing after something you cannot have, brother?"

elijah brushes it off, "you're imagining things, niklaus"

klaus chuckles sarcastically

"i've seen the way you watch her, the way you act around her. why not just admit it?"

"because there is nothing to admit"

klaus vamp-speeds and holds elijah in a chokehold against the wall

"I SAID ADMIT IT!"

and then you enter the room

"klaus? what the hell is going on?"

and then it all comes out

klaus reveals to you that his brother is in love with you

elijah excuses himself from the room

you walk up to klaus

"you don't have to be so angry. i love you, it's always going to be you. elijah's feelings don't change where i stand"

and then you kiss him and he smiles lightly, nodding

then you go to elijah after giving him some time

you explain to him that you love klaus and that is never going to change

but you also see elijah as an amazing friend and almost-brother-in-law and you don't want to lose your friendship

elijah agrees, but he says that he might need to distance himself from you

and an idea pops into your mind

"have i ever told you about my friend, hayley? i think you'd like her"

~

a/n: sorry for the late posts, i'm going through my 14 drafts right now and decided to get some done. anyways, since my asks are open, is there any content you wanna see more of? let me know!

[juuuuliee]

Broken promises

A/N: so... this is my first story I'm posting, so please don't be so hard on me hahaha... Constructive criticism is of course welcome! I'm working on a masterlist and other stories, so stay tuned if you'd like. I'm sorry if there are some logic and/or grammar mistakes - as I said, this is my first story. I hope you like it, have fun reading! See you soon :)

Pairing:young!Sirius Black x Reader

Genre:a lot of angst, a bit of fluff

Warnings:angst, family problems, relationship problems, jealousy.

Y/N felt bad. Not the kind of bad that makes you want to throw up, more like your stomach was knotting up and that queasy, uncomfortable feeling was getting bigger.

The common room had long been pitch black and only the fire, which was slowly dying away, gave off a small pleasant glow, but it barely reached the sofa where she was curled up.

He had promised. He had promised to be there and yet she had not seen him since lunch in the Great Hall.

Anger and disappointment kept bubbling up inside her, but she tried to ignore those feelings as worry about him grew and slowly took over.

What if something really happened to him?

Before she could think any more about it, she heard a creak and pulled up. The portrait door swung open and the fat lady could be heard cursing behind Sirius, who came stumbling into the common room, but stopped abruptly when he saw his steady girlfriend on the sofa.

"Y/N?" he asked, startled, looking at her with his eyebrows drawn together.

"Damn it, Sirius, where have you been?" she started, realising that the worry was just giving way to the anger that was rising at the sight of him.

"I was at the lake...well...it was someone's birthday from Hufflepuff and I thought...I could go...what did I do wrong, Love?" he told her hesitantly.

"What did you do wrong, Mister? I don't know, everything I think!" Y/N scolded back, theatrically throwing her hands in the air to express her frustration more.

"You said you were coming, Sirius! Hell, YOU even suggested we meet and still said, you’d had a ,,plan’’…I don't know if that was part of your plan, but if it was, I'm sorry, it's a shitty plan! I thought you would have hurt yourself or made it back to Filch's office."

"Y/N, I'm sorry, okay? I forgot, yeah? What do you want me to do? Invent a time reverser just so our ONE date can still happen?!" sneered Sirius, raising his own voice

"The ONE time?! Sirius I don't know if you've been counting, but this is the fourth time in a row you've forgotten or missed it!" now Y/N shouted too, at which Sirius took a step towards her, but she dodged him right back.

,,I know I'm probably overreacting, but I feel like I'm fighting for our relationship all by myself, Sirius. I'm tired of waiting for you all the time, even though I know you won't come and you probably don't even care. It just hurts, okay?" She had started crying completely now and pulled her jumper closer to her.

"Maybe it has something to do with your family problems," he interrupted angrily and raised his hand, which Y/N only looked at defiantly.

"I am who I am and that is how you should accept me, Y/N! I have apologised, what more can I do?!"

Silence.

Grey, angry eyes met e/c, staring at him with anger and disappointment.

,, "Maybe you should change your priorities if some Hufflepuff chick's party is more important than your own girlfriend, Sirius!"

,, "And maybe you should lower your expectations. You're not the most important person to me damn it!"

Ouch. It felt like Sirius had stuck a knife in your back and was very, very slowly turning it around.

"I didn't mean it, Y/N," Sirius said with a roll of his eyes, avoiding Y/N's hurt gaze and focusing more on her shoes.

,, "Yes you did and you know it very well!"

Sirius groaned and you could literally feel the anger bubbling up inside him again and he had to pull himself together very hard not to yell at her again. In the end, however, his temper won out: "You know what? I'm leaving! I'm tired of this kindergarten and this... this kind of you, Y/N."

"Fine!"

"Great!"

,,Fantastic!" sobbed Y/N, but Sirius barely heard it as he stomped up the stairs to his dorm.

Y/N sat back on the couch, exactly in the place where she had been sitting twenty minutes ago and everything was still "fine".

Had he broken up with her?

She didn't know, but she knew it hurt..., it hurt like hell. There was a hole in her heart and it felt like she was losing her boyfriend, who was moving further and further away from her into the mist, so that all she could see was his outline, not even looking back at her. She wanted to reach out to him, to run after him, but something that must have been her own pride pulled her back and tried to convince her that it wasn't her fault.

But she didn't trust that voice. If only she had stayed calmer... Maybe she could have talked to Sirius calmly about her feelings and thoughts....

——————————————————

"Y/N, wake up!" a voice called at her ear and Y/N slowly opened her eyes. Lily.

,, Lily, please! Let me sleep..." she muttered and turned around to avoid the red-haired witch.

"Forget it! It's Saturday...Hogsmead day," Lily purred excitedly.

"No!"

„Oh come on, Y/NN. We're going to Honeyduks and stock up on chocolate! James, Sirius, Remus and Peter are coming too, it'll be fun!", Lily tried to convince her, but Y/N just shook her head.

"I don't want to see him." "Who?" "Sirius." Lily furrowed her eyebrows questioningly, but quickly understood, "Did you two have a fight?" Y/N merely nodded her head and buried her face in her pillow.

"What was it about?" asked Lily, stroking soothing circles on Y/N's back to get the young witch to speak.

"He missed another date and was at some Hufflepuff party. I was so mad at him...I said things I didn't mean and so did he...His temper won of course...I don't know, it all just escalated. I don't think he wants to see me either." Y/N reported as she sat up and Lily nodded understandingly.

"That's bullshit. He knows he messed up, Y/N. Sirius isn't that stupid... and of course he wants to see you! Besides, it's Saturday, so if you two don't get along, you'll need some frustration food, Y/NN... chocolate! It'll be alright." Lily tried to persuade Y/N and she had to grin.

"Maybe you're right..." said Y/N hesitantly, "Of course I am!" laughed Lily and started to push Y/N into the bathroom.

,"I'm sure he'll be pleased." Repeated Lily, giving her friend a cheery smile.

Once in the Great Hall, the two girls headed for the Gryffendor table where all the Marauders were already seated. Lily gave Y/N's hand an encouraging squeeze before greeting the boys: "Hey!" she called and sat down next to James, who greeted her with a kiss. Y/N stood next to them a little indecisively before squeezing in between Peter and Remus, who greeted her with a quiet,, Hi."

She could literally feel the looks of the others lingering between her and Sirius and lowered her gaze to her plate to avoid the looks from the others and especially Sirius... unsuccessfully. She couldn't help but squint over at the black-haired boy. He had bags under his eyes and was also keeping his eyes on his plate, which was full.

Instead of chatting to the others, she followed James and Lily's relationship banter, which made her wrinkle her nose more than once... Cheesy as hell!

Fortunately, breakfast was over quickly and the group set off for Hogsmead. Sirius and Y/N were mostly quiet and only said something when asked. They all went to Honeyduks together first, where Y/N stocked up on lots of chocolate, at which Sirius just raised his eyebrows, but she avoided his questioning gaze and slipped unobtrusively over to Lily, who was sneaking a caramel into her mouth.

Are you okay?" she asked with her mouth full, eyeing her friend who was standing in front of her a little indecisively.

"He's not even looking at me, Lils... What if he broke up with me yesterday and I haven't even noticed?" whispered Y/N in panic and Lily quickly shook her head.

"He didn't break up with you... Sirius, even though this sounds weird, loves you... Even Peter can see that! Just go up to him and talk to him. But stop blaming yourself: HE messed up and stood you up, not you." She said urgently, piercing Y/N with her green eyes.

„It's okay, Lily," Y/N said, and moved away from her friend, again walking to the biscuit shelf, which was very close to her boyfriend. She looked over at him cautiously and noticed that he was peering over at her too, whereupon she quickly averted her gaze from Sirius again and pretended to analyse the biscuits on the shelf with interest.

After the group had paid for their things, they went into the Three Broomsticks. By the time they entered the pub, it was busy and noisy, making it difficult to find a table to seat them all. After a few minutes, Sirius waved the friends over, who had apparently found room at a table where two Hufflepuff girls were still sitting, giggling as Sirius sat down next to them as he grinned charmingly at them.

A wave of jealousy and frustration erupted in Y/N and she had to pull herself together not to flee the pub immediately. Instead, she bit the inside of her cheek and sat down next to Remus and James, opposite Sirius and Hannah, who probably considered Sirius's forearm her own. She batted her eyelashes and obviously(!) flirted with Sirius, who happily joined in her game.

Y/N quickly looked away, unable to afford to put up with this fuss any longer. Remus unobtrusively squeezed her hand under the table and, Y/N smiled at him gratefully.

Y/N sat awkwardly at the table, not knowing what to do or say next at the sight of her steady boyfriend apparently having already found a new one. Sighing, Y/N stood up and muttered: "I'm going to get us butterbeers, okay?"

Without waiting for the others to reply, she hurried away from the table. She noticed tears forming in her eyes but immediately wiped them away and made her way to the bar where many teenagers were gathered. Desperately, she tried to make her way through the crowd and eventually managed to do so.

She didn't notice someone squeezing up behind her and pushing in next to her until that person snapped at her.

„Y/N?"

Startled, she pulled up to look into the friendly face of Amos Digorry, who was looking down at her.

Oh! Hey, Amos," she greeted her seatmate in Divination and smiled at him.

"Is everything okay with you?" he asked with his eyebrows drawn together and Y/N nodded quickly as she wiped a few remaining tears from her cheeks.

‚,Everything is great, yes," she replied and was glad when Rosmerta put the buttebeer on the counter. Y/N smiled at her in thanks before turning to Amos, "See you around, Amos." She said goodbye and hurried away.

Arriving back at the table, her eyes immediately fell on Sirius and Hannah, who were still talking to each other. Hannah giggled and Sirius seemed to be perfectly comfortable in the company of the beautiful brunette too.

Y/N knew her, she was her seatmate in Potions. As she took a closer look at her, a wave of insecurity gripped her. She had everything one imagines as 'perfect'. She was tall and thin, with a small waist and an elegant posture. She just fitted into the toxic beauty ideals that existed and Y/N hated so much. And the worst part was that there was actually nothing to not like about her. She was sweet and helpful and super nice.

Even though Y/N knew that your weight, your smile, your general appearance, how many friends you have and whether you get good grades doesn't change your worth as a person, she suddenly felt so small and superfluous that she couldn't take it anymore.

She noticed tears welling up in her eyes and stood up abruptly, causing her to bang her knee against the table.

Pained, she screwed up her face and looked at the questioning faces sitting at the table, staring at her. Great... Embarrassed, she brushed a strand of hair that had fallen into her face behind her ear and smiled consumingly, but it looked more like a 'I'm going to cry' smile.

"I- I think I forgot my... uh my- something in Honeyduks, I think... I have- so yeah... I'll go..." she stuttered awkwardly, though she realised all her friends knew she was lying.

She quickly hurried away from the table and Sirius, unable to suppress the tears in her eyes. Hastily she wiped them away, but more kept coming. She didn't notice how Lily called after her in vain and Remus got up from his seat and tried to run after her, but James pushed him back into the chair, looking hauntingly at Sirius who sat frozen. When she got to the crowded alleyway, Y/N just stumbled through the crowd and was glad when she got behind Honeydukes, where there was a path that led to the howling hut. The path was snowed in and would have been beautiful if Y/N had paid more attention. She trudged along the path until she finally arrived at the howling hut. She just stared at it and stopped in front of it. She focused on the small cracks in the wall that looked like small branches of trees moving in the wind.

She heard footsteps coming closer and closer and turned around. Sirius. His black hair was a mess and he hadn't even zipped up his jacket. He was panting and apparently out of breath when he started to speak: "I'm sorry. I'm so incredibly sorry, yeah? You have to believe me when I say I'm sorry... Please Y/N, you have to believe me."

She said nothing and just looked at him urgently until he began to speak again: "Please say something. You can yell at me too, you can yell at me all year and the years after, but please say something." He pleaded, looking at her pleadingly as he wiped his face.

"You don't know anything, Sirius." , she started and he nodded to get her to talk further.

"You don't know how much it hurts to wait for a person that you- that you seem to love. You do know what it's like to not feel loved and- and to feel insecure... you know exactly what that feels like. And I always get so mad at the person who makes you feel that way because they hurt you! And I think I can say that I'm there for you then!" she gulped and Sirius nodded to agree with her, "But you're never there..." she sobbed, letting her tears fall again.

"I know you love me and I can't compare your family to our relationship. I feel good in your presence and- and that's how it should be... - that's how it should be! But- but it always hurts so much when you stand me up or ignore me and I don't even know what I- what I did wrong...I wasn't the one who stood you up, Sirius. It was you...and so many times!" she continued in exasperation and Sirius wasn't sure whether to let her finish or give her a hug. But before he could make a decision for himself, Y/N continued: "And today was even worse! Lily told me all the time that it wasn't my fault and now I know that it wasn't or isn't mine either. But then when you were flirting with Hannah and you-you were having such a good time, I was so sad! Why can you talk to her and have fun but not with me?! Why are you happy to see her but not me?!" asked Y/N desperately and Sirius opened his mouth to stop her from having those thoughts but she continued with a sad look: "You once promised me you would never make me feel small or insecure. You once promised to always be there for me. You once promised me that I was the "only one" and that you loved me. You promised to be there for me so many times, Sirius. But somehow you broke them all and I don't know what to do with these broken promises. I love you and that's not going to change, but I- I just don't know what to do with it when you- you hurt me so much and make me feel so insecure... So actually, you do know what that feels like...just differently." She confessed to him and completely burst into tears.

Sirius, who had tears in his own eyes, looked at her with a pained smile, which made her cry even more. He broke the distance between them and took her in his arms. He pressed her tightly against him and had to bend down to put his face in the crook of her neck. She clung to his shoulders and pressed her face into his chest to breathe in his familiar scent.

They stood like that for a while. Both crying, holding each other as close as possible. After a few minutes, Sirius slowly detached himself so he could look into her eyes.

"You don't know how sorry I am, Y/N. I don't want to hurt you! Merlin, when I think about the fact that I did it, I want to hurt myself. You're- you're- Damn, I'm not good with words!" he laughed and even Y/N had to smile a little.

,,I love you. For everything you do and for everything you say. I love you for who you are and for those little things you do for others. And I will- will never stand you up or break the promises I made to you ever again. I swear I will do my best, Y/N....and I am so grateful that you love me because I never wanted anything else in my life! You don't have to forgive me now...I understand if you don't, honestly." He said softly so she could just hear.

She smiled slightly at him and said laughing: "So if you kiss me now, it'll make things a bit better."

Sirius grinned and closed the distance between them, placing his warm lips on hers. He kissed her softly and lovingly, as if afraid to scare her away, but she didn't go. She deepened their kiss a little and sighed into his mouth.

As they kissed there like that, in front of the howling hut with dried tears on their cheeks, Y/N knew that everything would be allright again....

[calpalirwin]

Let The Walls Break Down

Summary: Calum gets over his skepticism

Word Count: 2.7k

And away, and away we go!

__

“It’s almost impossible. Love sucks. Don’t try it. It’s a scam.”

That had been Calum’s general thoughts on relationships since the two of you called it quits. The “almost” bit was in admittance that 1.) your relationship had been amicable from start to finish, in fact the two of you were still close with each other, and 2.) he knew love worked for some people, however he didn’t view himself as one of those some.

Being close to Calum post breakup meant you had a front row seat to the man’s brief stints at romance, which was a nice way of saying “endless stream of one night stands.” The flip side was he had a front row seat to your own count of nameless men. While in the beginning, the others in your friend group joked in hushed tones that it was an act on both your parts to stir up jealousy, the longer it went on without any animosity building up between you and Calum, the more the whispers died down until they disappeared all together. Because the simple truth was that the one night stands were just about sex. After all, you and Calum had learned together that the two of you were too busy for anything more than casual sex. A lesson both of you considered well-learned until Michael got engaged and flipped everything into a new perspective.

“It’s not that I don’t believe in love,” you said after Crystal recounted all the details and you stopped squealing in excitement for her. “I mean, anyone who sees you and Michael has to believe it’s real.”

“Aw, Y/N,” Crystal blushed shyly.

You laughed, “I’m serious. You and Michael. Luke and Sierra. Ashton and Kaykay. I’m surrounded with reasons to believe love exists. The real ‘can’t imagine my life without you’ kind of love. But for me?” You waved a hand dismissively. “Pfft, nah.”

“Because you don’t believe he’s out there for you, or because you already had him and the timing was wrong?” she pressed suggestively.

You rolled your eyes. Right person, wrong time was the excuse you had given when asked when you and Calum split, because to you, it was the closest thing to the truth. “Okay…” you started slowly. “Of course I loved Cal. And I still love him now. But when we were together… We were kids who were focused on our careers. And we’re still those career-driven kids. Understanding the balance between professional life and personal life without feeling like we’re sacrificing a piece of it for another was something Cal and I will never master. We tried. I thought if I could find that balance with anyone, it would be with him. But it wasn’t. And that’s okay. I’m fulfilled in other ways.”

“But…” Crystal kept trying to press.

“But nothing,” you laughed. “I’m happy with my life the way it is, Crys. And beyond happy for you and Michael. You’re getting married!”

~~~

Across town in a celebration of their own, Calum was under similar fire. “Happy for ya, mate,” Calum said, clapping Michael on the shoulder.

“Thanks, Cal,” Michael beamed. “I think I’m still in shock from all of it.”

“I think that’s probably a natural feeling,” Ashton told him, playing the voice of reason. “It’s an exciting change that pulls things into sharper focus.”

“Yeah, like all I wanna do now is tell Sierra how much I love her,” Luke put in.

“Oh, you fuckin’ sap,” Calum laughed.

“Just because you’ve never been in love…”

“I have too!” Calum defended.

“Oh, really? Who?”

“Y/N, idiot…” Ashton told Luke with a roll of his eyes.

Luke nodded in a “Oh, yeah!” fashion, before going on, “Is she the only girl you ever loved?”

“Yep.”

“So why aren’t you still with her?”

Calum shrugged. “Timing was off. And we haven’t changed. So why would the timing have suddenly changed?” The question was rhetorical, without the slightest hint of hurt. A simple fact of life, nothing less, nothing more. A fact Calum had made peace with long before.

“So what? You’re fine with the greatest love of your life being over 2 years ago?” they questioned anyway.

He shrugged again. “Have been for a while, in case ya haven’t noticed. And no,” he raised a hand, cutting off any protest, “this isn’t a bitter, ‘oh convince me otherwise’ deal. Y/N and I are both more than happy with the lives we’re living.”

“How do you know?”

“Because I talk with her, and I trust she’s telling me the truth…”

“Alright, alright,” Ashton was willing to let the conversation rest, but he had one last question. “Is there any part of you that would want to try again with Y/N?”

A third and final shrug. “I mean, she was the only one I ever saw a future with aside from the band.”

“That has to mean something, Cal. C’mon. If there was ever a time to give love a chance, it’s now.”

~~~

While Calum’s head raced with his friends' words of encouragement, if he could call it that, yours raced with thoughts of feeling like you somehow failed in life. Sure, your career was everything you wanted it to be and more. You wouldn’t trade a single moment of your life for anything else. But now that your friends were clearly doing more than simple dating, the doubt started to trickle in. Would it be nice to share a life with someone? Absolutely. But not at the risk of your own independence. And the only person who had ever proven that you could maybe have the best of both worlds was Calum. And even that hadn’t worked. But maybe there was something to Crystal’s words about it being a case of bad timing. Maybe it was worth another try.

So that’s where you found yourself, sitting on the edge of your bed, sharing at Calum’s contact, finger hovering over the call icon, trying to figure out where and how to start again with the man. And then your phone was buzzing in your hand, and you gasped. Had you accidentally hit the call button?! No. Calum was calling you. Confused, you hit accept. “Hey, Cal. What’s up?”

“Not much. Just had a quick question for ya.”

“Well I might have a quick answer for ya.”

You heard his soft chuckle and then a brief pause as he cleared his throat, and you knew he was pushing a hand through his hair, stemming whatever nerves this “question” was creating. “You got any dinner plans for Friday?”

“No. Why?”

“There’s this new place I’ve been wanting a try, and you know how I am about eating out alone. And it’s been a minute since just the two of us hung out. So I’ll pick you up at 7?”

You gave a small laugh at the rushed excuse, wondering what he was really up to. “Sure thing, Cal.”

“Cool. Oh, and uh, dress in something nice-ish? The restaurant’s kinda uppity.”

Another small laugh. “Alright, Cal. See you Friday then.”

~~~

“It’s just dinner. It’s just Cal,” you told your reflection as you finished getting ready. “Nothing you haven’t done a million times before,” you kept trying to calm the butterflies in the pit of your stomach. While you had a pretty good idea on what this dinner really was, you didn’t want to get your hopes up that Calum was having the same change of heart that you’d been having. The man really did hate eating alone at restaurants, and if the place was as upscale as he had told you, then it made sense that he’d rather bring you along than Ashton. And he had been right about it being a good while since it was just the two of you spending time together rather than a larger group outing.

But when Calum knocked on your door rather than texting that he was in your driveway, you couldn’t stop the blush coloring your cheeks. And when you opened the door to reveal the man on the other side, dressed sharply with a bouquet of your favorite flowers in his hand, you felt your heart skip a beat. “Oh, Cal,” you breathed. “You didn’t have to do that,” you told him, taking the flowers and moving to put them in a vase of water.

“It’s how you deserve to be treated,” he said simply with a shrug as he leaned against your doorway.

“You’re too sweet to me, Hood,” you teased lightly. “Ready?”

“After you.”

When he went as far as to get the car door for you, you had to laugh. “Okay, Hood. What gives?”

“I told you. I’m treating you the way you deserve to be treated.”

“Nah, there’s more. I can tell. C’mon. Spill it,” you pressed when he got in the driver’s seat. “Flowers. Getting the door. Dinner at a place that requires me to dress like this. You’re up to something.”

“You look stunning, by the way,” he said, reaching over to give your thigh a squeeze.

“Calum Thomas Hood.”

He sighed. “We were good, right? Like when we were together? It’s not my memory playing tricks on me?”

“You were the best boyfriend I ever had,” you answered honestly.

He nodded. “Okay. You’re not allowed to make fun of me. But since Mike got engaged, it’s gotten to me a bit. Almost like I’m missing out on something, but it’s weird because my life is already everything I want it to be. So what could I possibly be missing out on, you know?”

“Why would I make fun of you for that?”

“Because it’s a stupid ass reason to take you on a date.”

“Oh, is that what this is? I hadn’t noticed.”

“Ha-ha,” he deadpanned. “Look, I guess what I’m saying is, recent events made me reevaluate things in my life. And I think I’m in a better position than I was a few years ago to be a real partner to someone. And even when I wasn’t that person, you were the only one I could see myself becoming that person for. So… if you’re up for it, I’d really like for us to try again.”

Underneath the streetlight casting him in a soft reddish hue, he turned his head slightly to look over at you, brown eyes hopeful and solemn. When the light turned green, he turned his attention back to the road, but kept stealing glances over at you, still waiting for your response.

“I guess it’s only fair to let you know that I’ve been thinking the same thing.”

The corner of his mouth curved up in a smile. “Really?”

“Really,” you said with a soft smile and a small nod of your head. “I was actually hoping this was more on the date side than the friends grabbing a bite to eat side.”

“Good, because this is definitely a date.”

“Good,” you nodded again before leaning across the center console to press a kiss to his cheek, grinning as warmth spread across his face.

~3 Years Later~

You startled awake at a phone ringing nearby, a tangled mess of limbs and bedsheets. “Mmm?” Calum rasped, voice heavy with sleep as he answered the phone, followed by a quick, “Whoa, mate, stop yelling. You did what now?” There was a small pause as whoever was on the other end of the conversation spoke in a rapid flurry that you couldn’t decipher. “You did?!” Calum clarified whatever the news was, sitting up straight in bed, your head falling from his chest to his lap.

“Ow…” you giggled, shifting to sit up against the headboard like Calum was.

“Sorry,” Calum mouthed, listening intently to whoever he was still talking to, raising a finger for you to give him a minute when you raised an eyebrow in silent question. “That’s fuckin’ great, Luke! Congrats to the both of you. Lemme know what the plans are for celebrating and give Sierra a hug from me in the meantime, yeah? Alright. Talk to ya later, mate. Bye.”

“Well?” you demanded.

“Luke and Sierra are getting married. Or he proposed anyway, and she said yes.”

“Oh, that’s great!”

“Yeah, I’m really happy for them. Wow… first Mike, now Luke. We really aren’t the same kids we used to be, are we?”

“I think in some respect you guys still are. You still cling to those roots of who you used to be, the things that shaped you into the people you are now. But you guys are also growing up, too. It happens, Cal.”

“Yeah, no, I just… Wow. It’s not something I really pay much attention to, us growing up, until something like this happens.”

“The last time one of your band members got engaged, you got a case of feeling like you weren’t measuring up somehow. You’re not feeling that way now, are you?”

“No. Not at all. In fact… Luke said something when Mike told us he got engaged. That he wanted to go tell Sierra how much he loved her.”

“Aw, that’s really sweet.”

“Yeah, and at the time I made fun of him for it. But… I dunno… I get it. This type of shit really shifts things into perspective.”

“I mean, yeah. Last time it resulted in both of us thinking we should try being an ‘us’ again. What’s the perspective shifting to this time? You’re not gonna go out, and buy a ring, are you?”

“No, I already have one in my sock drawer.”

You choked. “What?”

He climbed out of bed with a laugh, making his way to the dresser and rummaging around in one of the top drawers. Then, something small was soaring through the air as he tossed whatever it was onto the bed towards you. “Told ya,” he said simply, as you grabbed the small box, popping the lid to find a ring inside.

“How long have you had this?” you asked, your voice a small whisper.

“Uh… 2016 I think,” he said as he rejoined you in bed.

“So, since the first time we dated?”

“Yep.”

“Calum!”

“What?” he laughed. “I told you our entire relationship, both then and now, that you’re the only person I see a future with. Did you think I was lying?”

“No! I- I just didn’t know you went so far as to get a ring, and keep it for 5 bloody years.”

“Well, it would have been a little weird if you had it all these years, considering… ya know.”

You laughed in a mix of disbelief and shock. “You are absolutely crazy.”

“I’m not actually proposing, you know that, yeah? I mean, yes, the ring is yours. But only if you want it to be. I love the life we have together, more so than I thought I could love any other version of my life. I never feel like I’m stuck in place, or missing something when I’m with you. I’ll be just as happy if you never wear that ring, as I would if you wore it every day for the rest of your life. You, me, Duke, and music is all I’m ever gonna need in life. I’ve known it since the first time I said I love you. Even in those years we thought chasing our careers was more important, you were still the only person I’ve ever been in love with.”

“Calum…” you breathed, your lip trembling.

“Shh, if you want the whole deal of the proposal and the picture perfect wedding, I’ll give that to you gladly. That’s what the ring’s for. But if you’re content with what we have now, this will always be enough for me, and that’s a promise.”

“I don’t want a proposal only because Luke and Sierra made you extra sentimental. I don’t want to take their moment away from them either.”

“That ring has been yours far longer than any extra sentiment our friends getting engaged could stir up, but I get what you’re saying. If/when you want it, say the word.”

“Ask me again in a year,” you decided. “And I mean really ask me. The whole deal.”

“I can’t fuckin’ wait,” he murmured as his lips crashed into yours, his hands cupping your face. “I’m so in love with you. Always have been. Always will be.”

__

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[sunsetcurvecuddles]

Alex + Julie "You didn't deserve that... You deserve so much better."

you sent me this prompt a million years ago i'm sorry it took me so long to answer it. warning for friendship breakup angst. there's no carrie redemption arc in this fic but there IS alexjulie friendship.

with love on their throats | g | 1.7k | alex&julie, past julie&carrie

ao3 link in reblogs!

--

Julie doesn’t mean to ignore the boys all afternoon, but Carrie’s birthday was hard last year and so far, this year doesn’t seem to be getting any easier.

She has the foresight to turn her phone off, at least, this year. She can’t handle the social media posts from everyone else at their school. They’re probably in Carrie’s pool, in her kitchen, in her living room. Probably throwing around the throw cushions that Julie’s mom taught her and Carrie to sew covers for when they were ten. Maybe even smashing the glasses Julie used to drink Trevor’s homemade iced tea out of when she would come to visit before Carrie got home from sport in the evenings. The idea of seeing these familiar spaces still just… out there, existing, rather than stuck in the past along with her and Carrie’s friendship, makes Julie nauseous.

Plus, there’s the added bonus of not being able to text Carrie something reckless she might regret.

So her phone’s switched off. Her dad knows not to bother her today anyway, since he had a front-row seat to whole Carrie mess when it happened. He just shot her a sympathetic glance over breakfast and hasn’t spoken to her at all. Carlos is at a friend’s house, and wouldn’t bother her even if he were home.

It’s just the ghosts Julie is avoiding, locked her bedroom door, perched on her window seat with her headphones on, watching YouTube on her laptop.

Which means it scares her half to death when Alex waves a hand in front of her face.

She yanks her headphones off and curses, sharp and a little louder than she means to, and Alex jumps back like he’s been burned. “Julie! Uh, hi, hey. Sorry to scare you.”

“Why didn’t you knock?!” she demands, still breathless. “It’s you, you know better! Boundaries!”

At least Alex has the decency to look shamefaced. “I know, listen, it’s just -- we were worried about you! And we did knock, a lot, actually, but I don’t think you could hear us? So I said we should give you space but Luke and Reg started psyching each other out, and Luke’s never been able to handle space the same way since the Caleb Covington Kidnapping Incident--”

Which, okay, yeah, that’s fair enough. Julie still shudders at the memory of the Caleb Covington Kidnapping Incident.

“-- so then I got nominated because, well, Reg worried you might be getting changed or something, and that makes me the obvious choice, not that I wanted to be the obvious choice, just that -- okay, I’m doing a bad job, what I mean is --”

Finally, she decides to put him out of his misery. “Alex, stop. It’s fine.”

Relieved, he lets out a breath and leans on his knees, looking up at her with pretty, apologetic eyes. “Still. I’m sorry. I really didn’t mean to frighten you, we just… got worried. And wanted to see if you were okay. You’ve been in here all day.”

Julie nods and looks back at her laptop, where the YouTube video is still playing, and pauses it.

She hasn't looked back over at Alex when he says, cautious, "Are you okay?"

When she replies, “Yeah,” it isn’t because she wants to lie to him, necessarily. It’s more because she doesn’t know how to untangle her feelings enough to lay them out in front of him. More because it’s hard to explain why she still misses someone who she knows hurt her, who she knows should have known better.

It’s hard to explain why she feels guilt, and grief, over something she chose to let go.

The window seat dips when he sits down next to her, fingers twisted together in his lap, shoulders rolled forward. He’s offering her the tiniest, encouraging smile in the form of a little quirk at the corner of his mouth. Julie loves him so much that it softens the heartache, just for a moment.

But then it returns. Just as strong. Just as unreasonable. Just as painful.

“It’s Carrie’s birthday,” she tells him, without even knowing why she says it.

“Oh,” he replies, which seems fair. She doesn’t know what she’d say in his position. He chews his lip, a crease forming in his brow. “You guys used to be friends, right?”

God, can she talk about this out loud? It’s easier to joke with Flynn, to make fun of the situation, because Flynn saw it all play out, held Julie when she cried, stopped being friends with Carrie in solidarity. Explaining the situation from start to finish, to someone new, just feels impossible.

So instead she says, “Do you ever miss someone you know you can’t have back? Or not that you can’t. But you know you shouldn’t. You know that you can’t get them back, or you’d have to give up too much for it and it wouldn’t be worth it.”

Because sure, if Julie was really committed, she’s sure she could grovel her way back into Carrie’s inner circle. But as much as she misses her, she’s not prepared to do it.

Alex nods, understanding. “Yeah,” he says plainly. “Yeah, I do. Tons of people.”

Julie’s surprised, but she supposes she shouldn’t be. The boys talk about Alex’s family the way Julie’s mom used to talk about ghosts -- never directly, otherwise they’d hear her and be summoned -- and after the whole thing with Trevor, well. It makes sense.

“Can I get it to stop?” Julie asks. “I had to turn off my phone before I did something stupid like text her. What would I even say? Why would I want to say anything?”

“I don’t know,” he murmurs. He leans over so their shoulders bump together, and she leans her head on him. “It’s okay to miss her, you know. You guys had good things in your friendship -- I mean, I guess, right? That’s why you miss it?”

Julie nods, closing her eyes. There are so many good memories she doesn’t even know where to start. Running in the park. Sitting at the piano together. Fashion shows for their dads and Julie’s mom in the living room of the Wilsons’ huge house. Sleepovers with Flynn full of bickering and giggling and pillow fights. Birthday parties, their whole lives.

“But that doesn’t mean you didn’t have a good reason for stepping away,” Alex says.

That’s true, too. Julie’s pretty sure they didn’t have that good stuff for a while before their friendship ended, in reality. Carrie was becoming… snappish. Self-absorbed. All she wanted to do was boss the other girls in dance class around, and she didn’t ask to hear Julie’s songs anymore. Julie knew that being a good friend meant weathering the good with the bad, but she gave Carrie what felt like a million chances, and she wasn’t getting anything back. When she’d tried to bring it up to Carrie, things had… exploded.

She explains as much to Alex, in fits and spurts, and finishes with, “She just… blew up at me, she told me she’d been sick of me for ages and asked why I hadn’t noticed. Like I was just supposed to realise that we weren’t friends anymore without her telling me.” Sucking in a shaky breath, she manages, “And then my mom…”

“Oh, Julie,” Alex murmurs softly into her hair. She’s trying not to cry, she really is, but it feels all bubbly at the surface of her chest, and the way he puts an arm around her and squeezes tight shows that he can tell.

“I know it’s silly,” she chokes, “but it feels like we broke up, or something, even though we were just friends. It hurts so much just thinking about her.”

“It’s not silly,” he assures her, and wraps his other arm around her, too, so he’s hugging her close to him with her head against his chest. “There’s nothing less important about friends, and a friendship ending can really suck. Especially how she did it.” He presses a kiss to her forehead, and doesn’t draw attention to the few tears making their way down her cheeks. They sit like that for a moment, then Alex says quietly, “You’re a wonderful friend. You didn’t deserve that. You deserve so much better.”

Sniffling, Julie rubs her sleeve across her eyes, wiping away the tears. The thought dawns on her like the sunrise after a long, sleepless night. “I have so much better,” she realises out loud. “I have Flynn. And Dad and Carlos. And you and Luke and Reggie.”

“We are pretty fantastic,” Alex agrees, faux-smug, but his eyes are still cautious, and affectionate. “But it’s okay to be upset anyway.”

“I know,” she says. And she does. “But I think I’m almost done being upset. For now, at least. Maybe we could run through a few songs?”

“I’m sure the boys would love that,” Alex tells her, smiling, and he goes to stand up but she holds on tighter, so he won’t leave the hug.

He just feels so steady, and comforting, and she’ll never really get over being able to actually hold them. “Can we just. Stay here for a moment, first?”

Easing himself back down, Alex grins and pulls her closer, tucking her head under his chin. “Of course,” Alex says. “We can take as long as you need. Just us, or the others, too?”

She pauses. “The others, too.”

Alex closes his eyes, and Julie knows he’s reaching out to the others, through their one leftover remnant of their time in the afterlife, tugging at their leads until they come to find him. A moment later, Reggie and Luke both pop into presence in the middle of her room, puppy-eyed with worry and hope.

“Julie?” asks Reggie quietly, fiddling with his fingers.

“You good?” Luke asks, on the balls of his feet.

“Yeah,” she tells them. “Just needed a hug.”

Within moments, they’re all around her and Alex, Reggie’s arm around her waist, Luke’s leg somehow, inexplicably, over her lap. Alex makes an insulted noise, but he’s so relaxed, Julie knows he must not mean it. When she presses her ear to his collarbone, Julie can hear his heartbeat, solid and alive, miraculous. Her friend’s heartbeat. Her friends, all around her.

Things are still bittersweet, and it’s still Carrie’s birthday, but Julie is still surrounded by love, enveloped in it, living in it. She can be sad for what’s gone, and be grateful for what she has, at the same time.

[it-fits-i-ships]

Combing through every single episode of Jurassic World: Camp Cretaceous for Yasammy moments to write meta analysis about part 4 (parts 1, 2, and 3)

Once Yaz is inside the lab we see her frantically looking for the antidote, getting more and more panicked the longer it takes her, we even see her get so frustrated that she starts throwing things and when she sinks to the floor she looks ready to have a full-on breakdown, it’s only when she notices the medical case and has that spark of hope that she gets up to continue her search, this combined with the sheer relief she experiences when she doubtfully opens the case to find that it does in fact hold the antidote really goes to show just how seriously Yaz takes this mission, I think that Yaz would take this kind of mission seriously if it were any other member of the group as well but not to this degree, it’s clear she cares very deeply about Sammy, she collapses in on herself and starts crying a little bit as she clutches that case to her chest, her world has been in danger of completely falling apart and she just found the one thing that can save it Yaz is a real ride-or-die, especially when it comes to Sammy, she is willing to put herself in so much danger just to make sure that Sammy is safe, she jumps the river in one go (despite the realized risk of her landing wrong on her bad ankle), as she’s sitting there cradling her injured ankle she remembers the first time Sammy offered her meaningful support, encouragement, and affection, she remembers how Sammy says she never gives up when it comes to friendship, Yaz knows deep down that Sammy would never give up on her and she sure as hell isn’t going to give up on Sammy, this reminds her what she’s fighting for and she gets back up, Yaz yells at the scorpius rex, basically telling it, “Come at me, bro,” Yaz is done taking shit from anyone, nothing is going to stop her from getting back to Sammy with that antidote, not even a freak of nature franken-dino with venomous spikes, during the final stretch of her journey, tired, injured, and terrified, Yaz trips and has several more flashes of memory in a row of moments where Sammy was saving her or hugging her or telling her that she’s her best friend in the whole world As I said in the last post, the term best friend is often used in children’s media to reference closer relationships between same-gender pairings in a way that adds queer subtext so it makes sense that this last part of Yaz’s flashbacks feels like a love confession from Sammy (albeit an indirect one) Yaz clearly loves Sammy too (even if she hasn’t consciously realized it yet) as she is willing to risk everything to save her and fix their relationship, when she gets back near the fort and sees how grim and somber the atmosphere is she musters every last bit of strength she has and pushes herself to the finish line, she is immeasurably worried that she will be (or already is) too late and she’ll lose Sammy forever, even after Brooklyn administers the antidote it takes a while for Sammy to show any kind of improvement so Yaz gets even more anxious and desperate, she even admits that she really does care about Sammy and she didn’t mean what she said before, she needs Sammy to know that, this scene reminds me a lot of the scenes in shows and movies where someone’s significant other is in the hospital and the healthy one gets very upset and refuses to leave the injured/sick one’s side When Sammy does wake up we are again treated to her perspective, the first person she looks over to is Yaz and the first thing she does is casually great Yaz (which is just adorable, as is Yaz’s genuine relieved smile after finding out that Sammy’s going to live), Yaz does everything she can to help and support Sammy, from checking on her when she first starts sitting up to supporting her while she’s walking to trying (and failing) to improve general morale in Sammy’s stead, ultimately Yaz’s plan to improve morale just freaks everyone out but the fact that she’s trying for Sammy’s sake is really sweet Also, can we just talk about the fact that Yaz has her hand fully on Sammy’s thigh when she asks how Sammy’s feeling? Or the way Yaz practically melts into the hug Sammy gives her?

Or the way she keeps taking, like, every opportunity to touch Sammy (rubbing her shoulder and her back, wiping the extra water off her face, etc.)? I’m sorry, there’s no heterosexual explanation for that combo The way that Yaz holds and protects Sammy during the stampede, the way that Sammy clings to Yaz with both hands (fingers tense and digging into Yaz’s arm), and the way they huddle close to each other suggest that they are both dealing with some direct trauma, Sammy just narrowly escaped the clutches of death at the hands (spikes?) of a dinosaur and now here they are possibly about get trampled (again), she still doesn’t feel good and she turns to Yaz for comfort, likewise Yaz is still very much aware that she almost lost Sammy and she had to leave her in order to get the antidote so she wants to make double damn sure that Sammy knows she’s there and that she’ll protect her, when it comes time for them to run Sammy has a moment of self-doubt, Yaz knows that Sammy needs her to snap her out of it in her own Yaz way (as opposed to trying to be overly cheery and positive like she was earlier) Yaz continues to offer gentle touches to comfort Sammy on the boat and when Sammy finds out that Ben plans to stay on the island instead of coming with them on the boat, she also uses physical touch to share Sammy’s excitement when Ben decides he actually does want to come with the rest of them on the boat, she also continues to protect Sammy from the onslaught of dinosaurs they have to unleash to get rid of the shady guy working with Dr. Wu who made them leave the boat, Yaz pulls Sammy out of the way of multiple dinos and holds her close Last but certainly not least, when they finally get back to the boat and leave the island we get this absolutely precious moment where Sammy is sleeping and Yaz comes over, looks at her, gives a contented/relieved sigh, and smiles one of the warmest smiles we have ever seen her smile, if that’s not the face of someone in love I don’t know what is, here they are finally safe, Sammy can rest, Yaz doesn’t have to worry about being immediately by Sammy’s side all the time to protect her from danger and she can just enjoy being around her I suspect that in season 4 we will likely see their relationship develop further because of them having some time and space on the boat (and possibly wherever they go next) to process and confront their feelings and, given that Brooklyn canonically asked if Sammy has a crush on Yaz, I don’t think it’s out of the realm of possibility that they might even canonically end up in a romantic relationship Anyway, Yaz and Sammy are in love, thank you for coming to my TED Talk

[theirloveisgross]

KiwiKiwiKiwi live: a religious experience. (A long-ass post about my experience that I wanted to keep somewhere forever.)

If someone had told me 9 months ago I'd be at Harry Styles' last show of his tour, I would have scoffed at them and say why would I be there if I wasn't even a fan of the man. Cool guy, but that was it.

If they had told me the same thing 6 months ago, I would have said that I would much rather see him in a smaller venue sometime in the future, who-knows-when, massive arenas weren't appealing to me.

If they had told me that 3 months ago, I would be happy and ready to watch as many livestreams of the shows as I could. But please, give me a break, I'd been processing the husband's free festival.

Well- After having watched around a month's worth of livestreams I would already be considering going to the show closest to me.

And yes, I did end up going to Tacoma. I was on the second row in the lower bowl, eye-level to one of the B stages, and saw him quite close when he came to sing Cherry. Whenever he pranced anywhere else, it was hard to see him, so I had to resort to the screens most of the time. However, I had a great time, I sang and danced my heart out and it was a pleasure to be angry with him during Kiwi. Not even being the last person to leave the arena over 3 hours after the show ended, shivering in the cold, due to a lack of ride-sharing services and public transit, could have dampened the night.

Two days before that show, I made the unhinged decision to try to get tickets for his last show on November 28 in NYC. My boss even encouraged me, bless her. I managed to snag one (at a ridiculous price. Ticketmaster: 🖕).

I checked flight prices everyday. I live on the West Coast, and they didn't seem to go down. The thought of maybe re-selling the ticket crossed my mind a couple of times but I immediately pushed it away because I knew I wouldn't forgive myself if I did.

Fast-forward, whirrrr (yes, that's the sound of tape fast-forwarding): got flights, got a stay, got a ride, and then I was sitting on the upper-bowl of the new UBS Arena in Long Island, NY and got a pretty great view of the whole stage. Could see where he was and what he was doing at all times, and if I needed close-ups of his facial expressions the screens were right on my face.

I had the time of my life. This was by far the best concert I have ever been to in my entire life. Again, I sang and danced my heart out, as Harry kindly asked us to do, and my brain could not fully handle what happened after the encore.

The probability of him singing Medicine was quite high, with it being his last show, New York and people asking for it... And yet, I was not ready to witness it and rock to it in the same room as Harry!

Good to note, I was surrounded by casual fans, so only a couple of them knew about Medicine. And there was me, just completely ELATED to see him sing the blowjob anthem and I could have sworn he sung it more aggressively and passionately, or maybe it feels like that live? Mind you, I haven't been able to check ALL the videos from the night, so can't confirm if that was the case, BUT it felt like that. His innuendos were on point and he was just living it!

And that was it! I was so so happy, not really thinking that it could get any better than that. While he introduced the band and sang Watermelon Sugar, my mind couldn't stop thinking that we had Kiwi left. My absolute favorite performance of his. He just goes off, and I can feel his anger every time, from a livestream, from a recorded video, from seeing him live for the first time. My mind was reeling in anticipation...

But oh boy... Was I NOT prepared for what happened.

"Stopstopstopstop", he said after we all sang the first verse. And I just- screaaamed. He was daring us, edging us. "You don't realize this is the last song of the tour, do you? I'm gonna need a little bit more than that". It started again... and he stopped us yet again.

Now, let me tell you something... The edging is way worse when you're in the same room.

I remember watching Harryween and even though I screamed at him and couldn't believe him, I did not feel the desperation. Well, being metres away from it...... The desperation is fucking real.

I had lost it. I just needed him to get on with it. My heart and brain couldn't take more of it, "much better... 20% more and we'll be good to go", he said while I screamed "do it three times then!". Yup, I did. Reminder that I had casual fans around me and they wouldn't have known what I was talking about, but the three consecutive Kiwi performances from his last show of Live On Tour live in my mind rent-free and they get food and amenities delivered at no cost, and they actually get paid to be there because my mind doesn't want to ever let them go.

I understood that that night of July 14 2018 was a one-off, something that happened only once to very lucky people and it would only remain a dream to ever experience.

EVEN THEN, I could have never DREAMED that that was going to happen in front of my very own eyes with a Harry wearing only a shiny bronze-ish vest with most of his tattoos on full display.

He started it again, and I saw him giving the thumbs up to someone, as in "I won't stop it this time", I assumed. I rocked out hard to it, yelled with him, punched the air with him, felt his rage, our rage, all of it.

The thought "maybe because of Covid he will just leave after it's finished. A few extra waves, maybe, and he'll go home" crossed my mind.

The song's ending... He makes to go to the catwalk, stops at the step, then he brings a finger up to his mouth with a pondering expression and goes back to the mic...

"She worked her way through a cheap pack of cigarettes...", breathlessly, and I just yelled the lyrics AGAIN with even more rage, if that's even possible? Didn't know I was so mad!

Harry baptizes some more people for the second time, and after "she sits beside me like a silhouette", I scream, I punch the air, I jump, I stomp my feet, I bang my head, I just let it all out, and Harry does the same. I am slightly aware the people around me are just enjoying it but I was just so fucking angry.

It ends for the second time. He thanks New York. Then, this time, he just goes to the mic stand again, visibly spent and "she worked her way through a cheap pack of cigarettes". I couldn't contain the shriek that came out from the depths of my soul. It felt like the release of the pent-up anger I kept inside, I guess mostly caused by all the injustice I've had to witness throughout my life, and more specifically about everything I've learned in the last few months. To say it was cathartic is an understatement.

He yelled something into the mic that I couldn't quite understand, because well, my state was a bit deranged. A couple of hours later I would see a video of the moment, him saying "they're gonna have to kill me to get me off here" with such anger and pointing aggressively at himself. I knew he was also mad but getting that glimpse so clearly is just- holy fuck.

"I'm having your baby, it's none of your business". How I managed to yell-sing this song a third time will remain a mystery, I just kept on going with Harry, breathlessly... And we stomped our feet, punched the air, banged our heads, screamed our hearts out, because... WHAT THE FUCK, you know?

And then... he did the whale for real, he hugged and bowed with his band, he waved and waved, and blew kisses at everyone, and it honestly looked like he did not want to get off that stage.

Harry, thank you for an unforgettable night. Thank you for the best concert of my life. Thank you for leaving it all out there. Thank you for the 40+ shows (of which I probably watched 35) and making the effort to make so many people happy, I hope we made you happy as well and that you felt all of the right love. Thank you for being you, there's so many of us that see YOU, never forget that. I can't wait to see you again, and be angry at all the bullshit in the same room with you again.

Love, J.

[multimetaverse]

HSMTMTS 2x09 Review

Spring Break was a bit of an odd ep but helped move some key plots forward. Let’s dig in!

Well people can no longer claim that Portwell is one sided. We finally got Gina’s pov and she starts off the ep uncertain whether the shift in their relationship means that EJ likes her but by the end of the ep she seems sure of herself and that EJ likes her back. I liked that she didn’t try to pretend that nothing had changed or that she hadn’t noticed potential signs that EJ might like her; it always sucks when tv characters act like idiots. 

Perhaps the most important reveal of this ep was that Gina has a much older estranged brother who left her and her mom many years ago. That certainly makes her backstory more tragic and is definite set up for her brother to eventually return.

The writers continue to give Portwell great tropes, capping this ep off with an airport rom-com trope that also calls back to EJ getting Gina the place ticket so she could come back in S1. Not only did Gina keep EJ’s Duke sweatshirt but she altered it to fit her better which is both sweet and bold in the assumption that it was hers to keep. Gina got her sign when not only did EJ show up to drive Gina home and take her luggage but he brought her the granola bar that she had wanted but forgot to pack. I wonder if her posting on her story that she was ubering home after her flight was cancelled was intended to see if EJ would show up since the camera focused on her posting it. Also sweet that she’s taken to calling EJ, ‘ Eej’. 

EJ’s opening was good, shows a lot of his character growth from the selfish guy he was in S1 and how he’s learned to value other people which of course leads into his feelings for Gina. We got another great use of the camera as character tonight when Gina was laughing after her facetime call with EJ until she realized that the camera was on her. 

Jack was a lot of fun. Though he didn’t really change Gina’s mind over anything like the ep description said he would.  Seemed like Gina was largely over Ricky and wondering about EJ at the beginning and the end solidified her feelings for EJ but Jack didn’t really play a role in that, it’s not like he encouraged Gina to reach out to EJ or anything. There’s a vague sense in which Jack being nomadic linked him to Ricky’s unreliability in Gina’s eyes with her craving stability but that’s a stretch. Jack mentioned that the second most dangerous part of a plane ride is when the plane takes off, a hint to the blossoming Portwell relationship where in order to take off one or both of them has to risk a confession even though they could be turned down.

This ep might seem a bit weird in hindsight. The zoom parts probably won’t age well and five years from now people might be wondering why they had Gina hang out with a manic pixie dream boy of sorts for an ep.

The path is clear for canon Portwell in the finale with EJ being Gina’s second chance at romance and her first kiss since they clearly telegraphed it out of nowhere. I’ve been impressed with the great work the writers have been doing since 2x05 to build up Portwell as a ship but also work on Gina and EJ as individual characters; they’ve been the highlight of the season so far. 

There was discourse this past week over how well or poorly Portwell has been set up. Objectively very few ships on this show get much in the way of set up or consistent writing. Redlyn and Kowie had barely any set up before getting together. Seblos had none (though in fairness that was due to Disney restrictions) and Miss Jenn and Mike Bowen didn’t have much set up either. Rini did get lots of development in S1 but that’s because they had already dated and were the main ship of the show. The show’s not really about slow burns, if Jenzzara canons in the finale they’ll count and if Rina ever got together they’d also count but neither of those ships have gotten consistent development with Mazzara not being in several eps and Gina and Ricky not even interacting for the past 3 eps. 

Is Portwell a slowburn? In a sense since they did feature quite a bit in each other’s S1 plot lines and even had a fake dating plot but it is true that they were platonic and not that close in S1 so it’s a wash. There was clear set up for romantic Portwell in 1x10 with team wonderstudies and Gina staring at EJ (which interestingly enough looked more like set up for Gina to pine over EJ). I think the main problem is that even though we saw Gina and EJ hanging out in the background we didn’t get any scenes of substance between them until 2x05. It was a mistake and there should have been some scene, like EJ and Gina commiserating in 2x03 over being single on Valentine’s Day or something like that. Hell there was even that still from 2x01 of EJ and Gina looking at each other at the piano while they were in the frame between Ricky and Nini singing and having a moment  which would have been good foreshadowing but that shot wasn’t in the ep.

Whether Tim just really wanted Portwell to be a surprise in 2x05 as a mid-season twist to throw the audience off of what looked like a Rini/Rina triangle or he was unsure as to whether he wanted to go with Portwell or if he just planned it out poorly we may never know. Regardless they’ve had great writing for 4 eps in a row now which puts them slightly ahead of the 3 eps in a row of development Rina got in S1. I’m sure if someone added up their screen time they’d find that Portwell has more screen time this season than Kowie and more screen time than Redlyn or Seblos  got in S1. 

Caswell cousins was fun and Ashlyn did in fact paint EJ’s nails. 

Set up for Seblos drama next week, it’s refreshing to see Seb being jealous over Carlos flirting with other boys that’s definitely not something you see on Disney shows.

Ricky got some healing done with his mom. Enough to cover their issues? No but this is probably the best this show is capable of. There was a brief mention of therapy sandwiched between other options which sounds more like checking off a box then setting up Ricky actually going to therapy. I noticed Lynne was smiling at odd times like when she told Ricky she knew about his breakup with Nini; whether that was poor directing or acting I don’t know. Who knows if we’ll see Lynne again. As an aside still so wild that Tim named Lynne who’s been a kinda shitty mom after his own mom who he seems to be fairly close with.

Really liked You ain’t seen nothin as a song but not a fan of the Tiktok style vid. I’ll level with you wildcats, I’m too old to really get Tiktok, it just seems like a crappy version of Vine to me. Let you go was good, seemed better fitted for Joshua Bassett’s voice than some of his previous songs. A big sign that they’re not circling back to Rini for a long time for sure. Though on that note we got a bit of a hint that Ricky was Nini’s muse which may one day come back as a way to help bring them back together. 

Looking Ahead:

If there’s only 3 weeks left till the Menkies, with only 2 weeks left for rehearsal due to spring break, it’s hard to see East High winning unless North High is disqualified or has to withdraw. 

Lily is in a promo photo so she’s likely the unexpected facetime Ricky gets which is what I had theorized. Also makes it much more likely that she’s the party crasher Ricky re-evaluates in the finale though what Tim actually wants to do with those two I do not know.

There’s little point in bringing back the Valentine’s chocolate since there’s no real stakes. Rini are already broken up, Gina hasn’t spoken to Ricky since 2x06, and it’s not like Nini and Gina were ever close so even if they stopped talking to each other it wouldn’t really affect the show in any way. 

Seems pretty likely that Second Chances refers to Gina realizing that her first try with Ricky failed but her second chance with EJ won’t and that leads to her sharing her truth and cue the Portwell confession and kiss, perhaps with an assist on EJ’s end from Mazzara. We’ve gone well past the point where Portwell can be brushed off as just a plot device to help Rina but Tim is playing with fire by getting the audience so on board with Portwell if he’s once again going to have EJ lose a girl he likes to Ricky in S3.

Gina certainly needs to talk with Ricky and I do think that happens in ep 11 or 12 and leaves them on better terms. As I mentioned last week, if Tim was smart he’d slam the door on Rina if he’s going with canon Portwell or vice versa. If he wants Rina to be a slow burn he’s really botched the writing this season, it’s been too one sided and too angsty to sustain any kind of momentum or audience interest. They haven’t even interacted for 3 eps now and not only has it not affected the show but it’s inarguably made Gina’s story line much better.  Again I don’t think he’s smart enough to not try and do Portwell and then later Rina but he’s accidentally set up the Rina story line to quite easily slam the door permanently on them by having their conversation be closure for Gina who’s moved on and an apology from Ricky who never liked her back as much as Gina liked him.

Not looking forward to seeing Nini basically live out Olivia Rodrigo’s life in future seasons

Curious to see Carlos’ apology song to Seb. Ricky helping him with it is a great way to help start redeeming Ricky’s character in the audiences eye’s. According to Matt there is a bit of a Ricky/EJ rivalry this season and if it’s really happening the sleepover would be a good place to do it though I hope it’s not about Gina. 

Until next week wildcats.

[blueberrysets]

Alright so I may or may not ha e just seen your navigation post and diOaksnsks ma'am you now have yourself a top fan soaowisis anyways, may I request headcanons for Yaku, Kenma, Akaashi, and Sugawara with a same year as them s/o who's part of the music club and the younger members look up to said s/o like a big sister? I wonder how they'd react...

From: The one and only BucketofForks

To: You :DD

okay, this request is sO CUTE!! AHH!! thank you for being my first request and I hope you enjoy it! :) 

their musical s/o that acts like a big sibling  to the younger members

sugawara 

suga met you after school when he just so happened to walk by the music room on the way to practice.

his ears picking up such a beautiful sound flowing from the cracked open door that his body just seemed to move by itself over there.

through the small window, he could see that someone was obviously practicing the violin. their eyes closed with a pleasant look on their face.

he was mesmerized, his eyes following along with the way their body would sway along to the music and their foot-tapping to keep the rhythm

he couldn’t help himself to push further into the room and clap after they were finished, a bright red blush spreading across your face as you realized someone was watching you

“that was amazing,” suga exclaims, his bright smile livening up the room

“really?” you ask, “I’ve only had the piece a couple of days, but we have a show coming up soon so I want to get it down.”

“well I think you definitely have it down alright, can you play me another?”

yes, he was late to practice that day, but BOOM romance erupted from there.

the first time the boys met you, it was when you walked into the gym to give suga some notes for one of his classes. of course, you walked right into the fifth kageyama and hinata argument of the day.

of course, all of the other boys are tense and not sure how to stop them from bickering but DUN DUN DUN suga’s s/o to the rescue.

“alright, it seems like you two need to sit down and have someone guide this conversation,” you blurted out, everyone’s head snapping towards the unfamiliar voice.

“hey sugar,” suga voiced as he jogs his way over to you, wrapping his arms around you before placing an obnoxious kiss on your cheek, “don’t worry about them, they do this all the time.”

“is that so? well, it seems like they’re holding everyone else up, I’ll sort them out.”

coach ukai is just like please, I’m begging you.

so kageyama and hinata are dragged over to the bleachers where they are scolded by their upperclassman and lead through a very thoughtful and successful conversation

even made them hug it out, which was great blackmail for tsukishima later on.

the boys knew that if you could calm down kageyama and hinata, then you definitely need to stick around.

and you did, in fact becoming very close with them.

you’re seen at every one of their volleyball games, cheering so loudly for the boys (well, mostly suga.)

you probably yell embarrassing things like “SUGA YOUR BUTT LOOKS GREAT.” “HINATA SWEETIE, PULL UP YOUR PANTS.”

the boys are in the front row for every performance you have, asahi has definitely cried once when you had a solo

you’re one of the few people that can pick on tsukishima, and him not having a comeback for it

you walk around and make sure that the boys are eating properly at lunch

you help yachi with breathing exercises when she gets too overwhelmed

you always make sure that they all get big hugs after the games

you tease nishinoya and tanaka by telling them that someone was going to ask kiyoko out today, just to see their reactions

but most importantly, you give them all emotional support when the boys need it the most.

overall, suga’s s/o would be just as chaotic as him. but loves to give them bear hugs, a good scolding, and sneaks them some snacks throughout the day to make sure they have enough energy.

akaashi

akaashi met you during one of fukurodani’s talent shows, hosted by the music club!

you signed up to perform, deciding to play your guitar and sing as well.

akaashi couldn’t take his eyes off of you, his heart fluttering with every note that you would sing.

he loves the way you let yourself get lost in the music even though you’re performing in front of hundreds of people right now.

he had to talk to you, and he gathered up the courage to after the show.

“hey,” he stutters slightly as he approaches you, you’re even more stunning up close, “you did amazing up there.”

“oh gosh,” you laugh slightly covering your red cheeks, since you’ve always had a crush on the observant setter of fukurodani, “you’re too kind, but thank you.”

“would you teach me how to um, play the guitar maybe?” he blushes

you couldn’t believe it, THE akaashi keiji is asking YOU to help him learn how to play guitar? you obviously agreed to it, anything to get close to him

the weekly guitar lessons, turned into weekly dates, that turned into finally becoming significant others. 

the first person you meet is bokuto, naturally. he forgot his lunch at home that day and didn’t want to spend money to get something to eat. his hair all frumpy as he goes into emo bokuto.

but lucky for him, you always pack an extra lunch in case one of your friends forget theirs. so you offer it to him, and bokuto looks at you as if you put the stars in the sky. bokuto happily eats your food, complimenting it with every bite. then invites you to come to their practice.

akaashi was nervous to have you come to practice, what if he messes up? what if you think volleyball is lame? what if the boys hate you?

yet when you stepped into the gym, you seemed to fit right in.

you help them set everything up, you get along with yukie and kaori, you compliment bokuto when he seeks your praise, you help toss to konoha, and sneak in little kisses for akaashi

since that day, the team seems to stick to you like glue

they always ask you for help when it comes to studying

you give them little performances during their breaks in practice

you give them head pats and words of encouragement before every game

you even invite them to every single one of your performances, knowing exactly where they in the crowd from bokuto’s prominent voice.

basically, you become the teams' second mom behind akaashi. you support them with motherly love and they support you back by being your number one fan.

kenma

you were a mystery to kenma at first

every day after school, kenma would hear the most beautiful voice singing in the stairwell of the school. yet, he could never see who it was since they left before he reached the bottom.

but one day, he was determined. it was like figuring out who the mysterious voice was that was guiding him in a video game, so he left earlier to wait at the bottom of the stairs. lo and behold, here comes you singing to your heart's content as you descend the stairs. 

stopping in the middle of a long note as your eyes land on kenma, sitting on the bottom step looking up at you with a slight smile on his face.

“you have a nice voice,” his soft voice states as your cheeks become redder by the second

“oh, thank you, I don’t really sing in front of others,” you state bashfully

“you should join the music club,” he casually states as he picks up his volleyball bag, “they would accept you right away.” then he walks off, gaming on his phone.

the next week you come racing towards him, a bright smile on your face as you explain to him that you got into the music club. 

“but,” you explain as your smile drops, “I still can’t get over the nervousness of singing in front of others.”

“you can start by singing in front of me, if you’d like,” kenma states, his eyes lowered in shyness, “then maybe once you’re comfortable around me, you can work your way up.”

“oh! like leveling up in a video game,” you exclaim.

kenma swears his heart stops for a second at that statement, his cheeks a bright red.

“yeah, exactly like that.”

so every day, either before or after school (depending on his practices) you would sing in front of kenma. while either walking to school or from, eventually kenma couldn’t hold his feelings in any longer and finally asked you on a date. and then you became love birds.

you met the boys by kenma’s idea actually

“you’re comfortable around me, what about we move up to my team?”

you agreed, reluctantly of course. but here you are, in the gym about to sing to a group of boys. 

but you put your big kid pants on, and you did it. you ended up making lev cry from how beautiful your voice was, you had to console him with hugs and head pats.

the boys were in awe of not only your talent but the way you just casually hugged lev. soon enough, all of the boys wanted hugs. then they became your little clingy cats.

you had Yamamoto hissing at people in the hallway when they looked at you as if kenma did already do that.

you sang the periodic table song per kuroo’s request

you always listened to lev excitedly explain something and explain something to him if he didn’t understand

when it came to your first ever performance on a stage, the boys sat in the front row so you had familiar faces to look at.

it was at that moment that you would’ve never been where you are without kenma.

yaku

the boys were curious, why has yaku been showing up to practice at the last minute every day?

he would run in, out of breath, with a sappy look on his face. 

so, they followed him (as sneakily as lev and Yamamoto would let them) and see what he did after school every day.

that's when they found you and him in the music room, you were playing the piano while GASP, YAKU WAS SINGING?

the boys were astonished, not only because he had this talent and he never told them. but because he has the voice of an angel??

his voice is what made you approach him in the first place, you heard him singing loudly with his headphones in his ears while he walked home from school one day. you just so happened to need a voice to test out the new song you just wrote.

so you asked, well more like begged him. but you were too cute to say no to. you would meet every day after school, he even helped you fix some things for the song. eventually, you two would start hanging together at lunch and even after school. leading you two to start dating.

but now here we are, with all of the nekoma men's volleyball team in too much shock to move as they find their libero singing beautifully in front of them.

oh but don’t worry, lev will say something.

“yaku, you sound like an angel!” he exclaims as he steps into the room.

“LEV?”

“Actually we’re all here.”

“WHAT?”

cue yaku running around the music room to hit each and every single one of them for a. stalking him and b. finding out his secret.

which leads to you introducing yourself, and having another shock to the team as yaku actually has a significant other?

“whaattt?? yaku got someone before me?” kuroo whines as he pouts with his arms crossed. leading you to karate chop him on top of the head, because no one disrespects your mans >:(

that small action would make the team realize that they now had two mothers to yell at them.

and oh boy would you.

you had to scold lev if he would say something mean to other teams (without realizing, he's a precious boy he doesn’t mean any harm) 

you drag Yamamoto by the ear when he over girls for too long

you take kenma’s gaming devices so that he eats during lunch

you also scold kuroo every time he hits lev with a ball

but they wouldn’t have it any other way, because they adore you (and you keep yaku calm)

when it finally came to performance time for your song and for yaku’s big singing debut, you wouldn’t want any other team to be in the front row.

[themaribatpit]

Jasonette July Day 20: Then Perish

Written by: The Maribat Pit @jasonette-july-event​ Prompt: Then Perish (Part 1) Rating: M (violence, minor character deaths) A/N: We wanted to finish Jasonette July with a bang.  The second half will be posted tomorrow for the Saturday Challenge.  We’ve appreciated all your comments and kind words, we really do read every one. It genuinely means a lot to us and encourages us to continue writing together.  As a fandom you have been nothing but kind and supportive, and we enjoy bringing you fics great and small with a wide variety of genres, dynamics, and iterations.  Also blame DC fanboy for the memes in this fic. Marinette loved to travel, she had traveled all over the world from New York to Shanghai. Today, she traveled with her parents to Gotham City to visit her parents' friends, whom they had not seen in many years. Sabine was initially afraid to visit Gotham City, due to its crime rate and ever-growing list of criminals. Tom reassured his wife, saying that his big stature would scare any would-be criminal from harming them, that the trip would be short and they would visit Metropolis afterwards. Marinette wore the Ladybug Miraculous, just in case something were to happen. As the family got off the taxi at Park Row, everyone felt something was off. "Park Row really has...changed." Thomas muttered. Sabine held on to both her husband and her daughter, "I think we should leave." she said. Soon shadows began appearing around the corner, then came the yelling, and soon after came the gunshots. Thomas grabbed his wife and daughter and ran to find shelter from a hail of bullets. Marinette looked back to see many civilians, men, women and children caught in the middle of this gang war.  She needed to be a hero, her father could take care of her mother, she needed to save those in danger. She freed herself from her father's grasp and ran behind a corner, she whispered "spots on" and transformed into Ladybug. Diving and flipping across streaking bullets everywhere, she flung her yo-yo to drag any unfortunate bystanders into an abandoned building. While in a building with innocent civilians, she peeked her head out the window to see a monstrous man.  Wearing a blood red helmet and wielding two pistols, he systematically killed everyone before him. His flips and kicks were graceful yet brutal, the cries of pain and pleas for mercy made her shudder. She couldn't fight him, no, she was afraid to. It would be best to find her family, she did all she could and got bystanders to safety. She quietly transformed back into Marinette and went to look for her family. She ran back to where she last saw them, she scoured the streets shouting "Maman! Papa!" hoping that using her French would help her parents find and identify her. She soon ran into the Red Beast, as she began to turn and run back before she saw the two people at his feet. “<No, no no no, please god no.>” she whispered to herself, tears building in her eyes. There lay her parents, in a pool of their blood with bullet holes between their eyes. Marinette dropped to her knees, silently crying. The Red Hood either didn't see her, or chose to spare her and decided to walk away. Marinette ran to her parents, grabbing them both and shaking them. "<Don’t leave me, please don’t leave me>” she wept. Later, she was picked up by the GCPD. They escorted her on the flight back to Paris along with the remains of her parents. When she arrived, she was approached by the Aide Sociale �� L'enfance (ASE).  They told her that she'll be staying at a nearby orphanage until after her parents' funeral. Then she would then be sent off to live with her only remaining relative, her Great-Uncle Wang in Shanghai. On the night before the funeral, Marinette was unable to sleep.  She curled her legs to her chest while she sat on the mattress.  She has spent the past few days researching the mysterious Red Hood, crime boss and self-proclaimed Prince of Gotham.  She read article after article of his meteoric rise to power, first conquering Black Mask, then The Penguin. Nightmares plagued her whenever she closed her eyes, she saw the Red Hood tower over her parent's lifeless bodies, covered in their blood. She was worried about being sent off to a foreign country tomorrow evening, while barely even speaking any Mandarin. All the while knowing that once she is on that flight to Shanghai, her parent's killer would without a doubt walk free. Morning comes, yet Marinette still thinks of what she should do. Could she really go to Shanghai to start her life anew, not knowing the language and allowing her parents’ killer to go on unpunished? At the funeral, while standing over her parents’ graves, she remained silent. The priest, ASE agents and her friends all came to pay their respects. Each of her friends approached her to give their sympathies, but she did not listen to a word they said. The Red Hood weighed heavily on her mind, and she made her fateful decision. To run, run and never look back. She had prepared a backpack containing the Miracle box with all the Miraculous, along with a few essential supplies and money. She turned into Multimouse to sneak on board a passenger aircraft to make her way to Gotham City.  Jason knew, better than Batman, that fighting crime sometimes meant getting your hands dirty.  What started as a petty squabble between two rival gangs grew into a bloodbath.  He missed Roy at times like these, Artemis and Bizarro were still missing, but he held out hope that they would one day return to this Earth. A teenage girl with an impressively sturdy yo-yo had burst onto the scene, trying to get civilians to safety.  He was a bit too preoccupied with the battle to get a good look at the girl.  Knowing Bruce, the next time he’d see her, she’d be under his wing.  Sadly, there were two civilians that neither of them could save, a large, burly looking man and a tiny woman.  The person who shot them with frightening accuracy had got away, moments later a teenage girl had arrived on the scene.  There was a brief flash of fear in her eyes when she saw him, and she would have just scurried away if only he hadn’t been at the very spot where her parents lay dead.  The girl was inconsolable as she fell to her knees and wept, pleading with them in French.  Red Hood walked away, thinking it would be best to leave her to grieve.  There wasn’t a whole lot he could say in English that would make her feel any better, never mind in French. He watched from a distance as the GCPD arrived to pick up the pieces, Red Hood watched from the shadows as police officers and an interpreter tried to get the girl’s side of the story.  From what he gathered, the girl’s name was Marinette Dupain-Cheng and her family owned a bakery in Paris.  Her next of kin was a relative in Shanghai, and it sounded like the best option for her would be to go and live there.   The plan was to ship her and her parents’ bodies back to Paris, and let child services take it from there.  He would have probably told her to get as far away from Gotham as possible, away from the clutches of a certain someone who was also orphaned in Crime Alley.  He saw her cradle what looked like a small pink doll to her face as she wept, before he turned and walked away. A week later, Jason had a break in the case.  This was all caused by some low-level members of the Falcone and Maroni families continuing their decades-old battle.  As far as everyone knew, the crime families swiftly executed the men responsible and went about their business.  Two crime families were unable to keep their lackeys in check, and now the people who weren’t lucky enough to be whisked away by Yo-Yo Girl, were now either dead or wishing they were.   He thought back to poor little Marinette, wondering where she was now. Bruce confronted him at the Iceberg lounge shortly after the incident, to which Jason explained that the perp had got away.   He had killed people before, and that wasn’t stopping anytime soon, after all it wasn’t that long ago that he tried to kill the Penguin.  “This may surprise you Bruce, but the Red Hood isn’t the only one who uses guns in Gotham '' he snapped.  There were some lines that even he did not cross, lines that he had drawn for himself. Judging by the accuracy of the gunshots, this was no accident.  Their daughter was probably starting a new life, probably on the other side of the world.  Still, he wished he could have said something to the girl, a simple “Hey, it’s gonna be all right” probably would have sufficed.  Little did he know that Marinette was making her return to Gotham City.  She would have her revenge on the Red Hood, and this time she had nothing to fear and nothing to lose. After her very uncomfortable 10 hour flight from Paris to Gotham City in the cargo hold, Multimouse quietly sneaked out of the crowded airport without alerting anyone. Marinette wandered around Chinatown, thinking of her next step. She was thinking about how she would have to go through the city with a fine tooth comb to search for a lead, likely starting small with his men in the streets.  Before she could put the earrings back in her backpack, Tikki begged her to reconsider what she was doing.  “Please Marinette, you need time to heal, to grieve,” she pleaded, but Marinette didn’t need the powers of healing, luck and creation. If and when she encountered the Red Hood, she wanted to bring him death, misfortune and destruction.  After all, that was exactly what he had brought her.  With a stroke of luck, she overheard someone getting a beatdown.  "You get your ass outta here, this is Red Hood's turf. If you wanna sell that shit, you gotta give the boss his cut."  Marinette whispered "Plagg, claws out" and transformed into Lady Noire, before sneaking up behind one of the Red Hood’s men. He released the person he was beating, and chased him out the alleyway.  She took this opportunity to swing her staff,  hitting the back of his neck and sending him face first into the ground. He immediately tried to stand up, as he stood on wobbly legs he took out his knife from his jacket. "Oh shit, Catwoman?!" he yelled. Lady Noire used her staff to sweep him off his feet and slammed her staff onto his face.  "Where is the Red Hood?" she growled.  "Screw you bitch!" the goon retorted. Lady Noire had a feeling that he wouldn’t tell her the location of the Red Hood, so she decided to try a different approach. "Fine then, why don't you give your boss this simple message…" Before she could finish her sentence, she heard the telltale click of a gun being loaded. She turned around and started spinning her staff, creating a grey shield to deflect the storm of bullets that were being fired at her.  She moved her hands at a rapid pace, and frantically pushed back against the hail of bullets.  As the bullet storm subsided she looked up and saw, up on the fire escape, was the Red Hood with an assault rifle. The Red Hood casually tossed his gun aside and asked "So, what's this message you have for me, Catwoman?" He gracefully did a forward flip and landed in a crouch.  "Wait a minute..." he said, the first thing he noticed was that this person was tiny, 4’11 or maybe 5’ on a good day. Her eyes were a bright acid green with dark slits like a real cat’s pupils.  "You're not Catwoman, you're too short to be her, for one thing.” he remarked “also she usually has a whip instead of a staff, who are you?" Lady Noire gritted her teeth, "You killed my family" she answered with a low growl. "Do you have the slightest idea how little that narrows it down Kitten?" Red Hood's taunts made her snap.  She screamed "YOU TOOK EVERYTHING FROM ME!" The Red Hood stared at her, as he crossed his arms.  "I don't even know who you are, what's your beef with me?" He asked, Lady Noire lunged at the Red Hood with her staff, she swung wildly to try and hit him.  He dodged most of her strikes with ease, “Is that the best you’ve got?  You’re gonna have to try harder than that.”  Where she might have lacked in skill, she made up for in determination.  She wasn’t pulling any punches, he had to give her that.  He caught the staff under his arm, and punched Lady Noire with his free arm.  As he went on the offensive, he slapped her staff aside, and came at her with a series of punches and kicks.   “So, what do you want Kitten? Money? Jewels? A very big ball of string?”  he joked.  “All I want is revenge,” she spluttered. “Get in line Kitten, you’re in the city that runs on vengeance” he retorted. Marinette was lucky that the suit gave her enhanced speed, strength and endurance. She always loved how the Lady Noire suit felt a lot lighter compared to the Ladybug suit. Though she shuddered to imagine what her opponent would do with this power.    He raised his leg to end his combination with a forceful downward kick, Lady Noire raised her staff up to a horizontal block to stop the kick. Upon contact with the kick, the staff split into two, and then Lady Noire launched into her counter attack. She was striking the Red Hood with a flurry of blows with both halves of her staff.  "Escrima sticks too? Looks like we have a Nightwing fan here” he smirked under the mask; this new girl was just full of surprises.  He brought his arms to the sides of his head in a defensive posture, blocking the onslaught of strikes from the escrima sticks.  Red Hood then grabbed Lady Noire by the back of her head, placing her in a Thai clinch. He launched a powerful knee to her face and sent her reeling back. He drew his pistols and fired a torrent of bullets at her. Lady Noire had to dodge, weave and use her staff to deflect incoming bullets. One bullet even grazed her cheek. She then pointed her staff at the Red Hood and extended it with so much force it slammed him against the wall of a nearby building. Without giving him any breathing room, she then retracted the staff. She launched herself towards him and then dropkicked his face straight into the wall. His helmet cracked against the tremendous pressure. "It's now or never” she thought, as she cast Cataclysm and swiped at one half of the Red Hood’s helmet. She saw the helmet dissolve and reveal the target beneath.  She noticed that underneath the helmet he wore a red domino mask, not unlike the one she usually wore.  She would have time to think about how overly dramatic that was later, as she used her other hand to pick up the knife on the ground that the other goon left behind.  She jumped on top of the Red Hood, “Now perish!” she cried out as she thrusted the blade towards the exposed part of his face. Red Hood recovered quickly and caught her hand holding the blade. As the two struggled for the knife, Lady Noire tried to swipe at him with Cataclysm again.  Suddenly, she felt the power of 50,000 volts coursing through her, as the Red Hood activated the taser hidden in his chest piece.  She powered through, running purely on anger, grief and adrenaline. She was only able to struggle for about a minute, before passing out from the pain.  Red Hood flipped Lady Noire’s unconscious body aside, before he took off his helmet to inspect the damage. "The hell?." he pondered, "So, indestructible staff that can do double duty as a shield, and the ability to disintegrate things with one touch. Let's find out who you really are."  He slowly stood up and looked down at her unconscious body. He tried to peel away her domino mask, yet it would not come off. He tugged on the mask, even to the point of lifting the unconscious girl off the ground. He released the mask, and let the body drop with a small thud.  The Red Hood began talking to himself "She either superglued the mask on or it’s something else. Considering all that she can do, I'd say 80% chance it's magic and 20% a lantern. Either way a 100% pain in my ass".  He heard a small beeping noise and gingerly lifted her hand up off the floor.  As it emitted black and green energy, he noticed that she had a ring on.  The beeping came from a small picture of a paw print, which was missing a few pads.  If she was a lantern, that ring was going to run out of charge any moment now.  He took out his phone and called the Iceberg Lounge. He requested that they send for a van to pick him up and his new guest.   He requested that the Su Sisters get her cleaned up and ready. He needed to find out who sent her and who she worked for. He took out the special handcuffs that Batman designed when dealing with metahumans. As he walked towards Lady Noire about to cuff her, he heard some more beeping, followed by a bright light surrounding her.  Her suit and mask disappeared, leaving behind a small girl in pastel pink clothes who was probably no older than 15 or 16.  Her long braid changed back into a couple of shoulder-length pigtails, and she had a pink backpack on her back.  Jason looked inside the bag, there were a few sets of clothes, a wallet and an antique Chinese jewelry box.  He wondered if that ring was just one of many tools in her arsenal.  Jason's eyes widened, he recognised her as the girl he saw a few weeks ago when the turf war in Crime Alley broke out.  "What’s she doing here?" he said to himself aloud, “ Idiot” he muttered. He remembered following the girl and her GCPD escort to make sure she boarded her flight back to Paris.  She was supposed to be with her remaining family. Yet she came back to, no, ran away to Gotham City.  All for revenge.  He checked her wallet and saw the name printed on it, he sighed, this just confirmed that she was the same girl. When she had her revenge, what would she do then?  He wasn’t the undisputed master of thinking things through, but even he thought she was a fool to come back here.  Gotham City didn’t have the best track record dealing with orphans.  He knew this from personal experience, but there was that time where many were rounded up and sent upstate to juvie, for the crime of trying to survive on the streets.  He would have been in the same position, had it not been for his own fateful encounter in Crime Alley. He shuddered to think what her other option would be in a place like Gotham City, becoming a Robin.  Part of the reason he wanted her out of Gotham was so that Bruce wouldn’t get any ideas about taking her in.  When the car arrived, he scooped up the girl in his arms and carried her towards it.  Marinette woke up with her heart beating frantically in her chest, the first thing she saw was a bright light.  She was dead, she had to be, the last thing she remembered was confronting the Red Hood and now he had killed her.  She slowly sat up, she looked down to find that someone had changed her clothes, she was wearing light blue pajamas.  She started to look around, to her left there was a large floor to ceiling window where she could see a city at night with bright twinkling lights.  On the table next to her was the Miracle box, she quickly grabbed the box and looked through it. She gave a sigh of relief when she saw that all the Miraculous she brought with her were still there.   Suddenly, Marinette heard someone clear their throat.  At the foot of the bed, stood a rather large woman who had a bundle of clothes in her hand.  Next to her was a blonde woman with pink highlights who had a tray of food. “Oh good, you’re finally awake” the large woman said gruffly, she set the clothes down on the edge of the bed.  The blonde girl set a tea tray down in front of her, along with a couple of pastries.  Marinette’s heart sank at the sight of the croissants, they reminded her of her parents and their bakery. “Eat up and get dressed, the boss wants to see you later” the blonde woman told her, before skipping to the larger woman’s side.  Just as the two were about to leave, Marinette piped up, “Um, where am I?” she asked, “Who is your boss?” “You’re in the Iceberg Lounge in Gotham City”, the large woman told her gruffly.  “The name’s Suzie, this is one of my sisters, Candy. Our boss is the owner.”  Marinette gave an awkward wave as they left, and Candy returned it with a more cheerful one.    She took a bite out of the croissant, it tasted cold and dry. However, if she was going to defeat the Red Hood, she’d need all her strength. She put Plagg’s ring back in the box and reached for Ladybug’s earrings; she needed a new tactic.  When Tikki appeared in front of her, she also quickly looked around the room before looking back at Marinette with a concerned look on her face. “I couldn’t do it,” Marinette explained “he managed to stop me and I ended up back here”. Tikki’s eyes were sympathetic as Marinette held her closer to her face, “Are you sure you still want to go through with this?” Tikki asked.  “For now, I have to get changed and go upstairs to meet the boss.  Maybe he’s the one who found me after the fight was over” Marinette theorized as she gave Tikki the cookie from the tray.  While Tikki quietly nibbled at it, Marinette stood up and walked over to the edge of the bed.  Inside the small bundle of clothes were a simple white blouse and black skirt. They were a little big, she would probably hem it if she had her sewing machine.    Moments later, a tall woman with dark hair led Marinette into the penthouse, a large room with a desk in the corner.   A tall man in a suit stood with his back towards the door, overlooking the sparkling city skyline.  She slowly stepped inside, looking around the room as she walked towards the man.  “Um hi, who are you?” Marinette asked as she apprehensively walked towards him.  She couldn’t help but feel small in that grand high-ceiling room. “I am the owner of the Iceberg Lounge,” he explained. “I guess the question I should be asking is…” he turned towards her and Marinette saw he had a domino mask over his eyes and a red half mask covering his nose and mouth, “who are you?” He threw something at her and she caught it.  She looked down and saw the Red Hood’s helmet, half of it looked as though someone tried to tear the metal open.  Then she remembered everything she had researched about the Red Hood, and the fight that took place not long after she arrived back in Gotham. “You…” she hissed. To be continued...

[florrickandassociates]

TGF Thoughts: 5x06- And the two partners had a fight...

I’ve been waiting for this episode for nearly a decade, and I didn’t even realize it. More under the cut. 

(This is very long! Please fight me on stuff and disagree because I just wrote all these words about this episode and I STILL want to talk about it more, it was that interesting!) 

This is the second episode in a row to start off with a TikTok video. 5x02 and 5x03 both ended with elevators. Is there some sort of pattern they’re going for here?  

This case—which is, it’s important to note, in Wackner’s court—is about TikTok content creators and copyright laws. Probably not enough material for a full case, but definitely an interesting theme to explore.

Marissa doesn’t have her laptop volume off (which I suppose makes sense; she was just playing the TikTok videos) and a notification sounds. She shuts the laptop.

Wackner rules that the profits made from the TikTok dance must be split evenly between the guy who stole the dance for his video game and the creator. The thief does not like this, removes his moose costume (oh, yeah, did I mention they’re in costumes again?), and starts shouting that he’s going to sue and then moons the whole court. Okay!

He follows through on his threat, and next thing we know, Liz, Cord, Wackner, and Marissa are meeting to discuss strategy.

Liz’s computer makes the same noise Marissa’s did; she punches some keys.

Liz points out that Wackner’s biggest problem is that real judges are not going to like Wackner playacting as a judge. “I’m not playing a judge. I am a judge,” Wackner says. Liz notes that Wackner’s court lacks any way of forcing people to comply with his rulings, but real court can shut him down.

I guess whatever keys Liz punched did not silence the annoying notification sound.

She asks Wackner to try not to become the focus of the court case, since that’s how they’ll lose. “This is why I started a court,” Wackner says after Liz instructs him to only answer yes or no and to wear a suit.  

Liz asks Marissa to keep Wackner in line. She says she’ll try.

Now we are at the Black Lawyers Association, where there’s a panel with leaders from Chicago’s four top black law firms. For reasons passing understanding, DIANE is on this panel. This makes absolutely no sense (I mean, unless only white people were involved in this decision, and even then!) and I’ll only excuse it because they mention later that it makes no sense for Diane to have been on this panel.  

I wonder why everyone else’s firm gets named but not Diane’s.  

Diane also gets the first question, which is, pointedly, about opportunities for black lawyers. Her phone starts making the annoying notification sound. Ever heard of silent mode??  

The annoying sound happens every five seconds at the RL offices. According to David Lee, it happens twenty times an hour, but it seems like more than that! He, for some reason, goes to Carmen to ask how to stop the sound. He also wants to know what it is. Carmen explains that it is “Dawnk” which is a new messaging system within the company.  

On Dawnk, you can talk about anything you want and be anonymous. Who approved this?! In one frame, I can see there’s someone complaining about someone being promoted too fast because of “the future is female bs.” In another, someone is upset that they are anonymous and wants to use their real name (only Jay, who is otherwise absent from this episode, seems to have figured out how to turn this anon mode off).

Sorry, before I can get on board with this plot, I just need to note for the record how phenomenally stupid the idea of using anonymous messaging software within a company is. This was obviously not going to end well! It’s like workplace YikYak... (remember YikYak?!)  

David Lee hates the idea of a messaging software; Carmen says the associates prefer this.  

Jay is being very nice in the chat and defends the person who was promoted “too fast”.

“Who’s ‘Anonymous Crab’?” David Lee asks. Well, I think the fact they are “anonymous” should be a bit of a hint there, David.  

Anonymous Crab asks, “How the hell did this happen??! How did Diane end up at a Black Conference speaking for our firm?” Good question, Anonymous Crab.

Anon Crab also shares a video and David Lee doesn’t understand how to press play. Carmen plays it for him. Diane looks really awful on the panel. No shit! David Lee seems to enjoy Diane looking bad, even though he should be able to connect the dots between Diane looking bad and potential for bad things to come for the firm...  

Not only does Diane get quizzed about why she’s running a firm that is still insisting on calling itself a black firm, she also gets questions about her insurrectionist husband. “He was completely cleared of those charges,” Diane notes. Oh, hey!!!!! Remember how last week I said I’d be more surprised if that was the end of the FBI nonsense than if it continued? I am surprised!! And relieved. Mostly relieved. Dealing with the consequences of that high profile, relationship-straining ordeal is so much more interesting to me than any FBI machinations.  

Next Diane is asked if Kurt just took a job to revitalize the NRA. She hasn’t heard of this yet. I’m glad she’s getting grilled on this stuff... it is about time.  

There’s a hint that Carmen will be representing Mr. Rapey next week. I assume that’s why there’s a line where David checks in with Carmen on Mr. Rapey’s case?  

Anon Platypus says, “I heard she didn’t even have seniority. She just jumped past other black partners to become our name partner. It’s crazy!!!” Anon Platypus is correct—technically. Diane was a name partner at one of Chicago’s top firms before joining RL, so while she skipped the line... that doesn’t seem to me like the PRIMARY issue in bringing her on. The primary issue is that bringing on someone that senior from outside the company is more similar to a merger than a promotion, and Diane’s partnership meant changes for the firm.  

Other anonymous animals also don’t like Diane. One calls her clueless; another says that “Liz needs to do something about this.” Someone responds to that, “Liz will never do it on her own,” which is an interesting sentiment I want to come back to in a little bit.  

“What is Black Twitter?” David Lee asks Liz out of the blue. “People on Twitter who are black and talk to each other,” Liz responds. David Lee asks how he can find it. “I could tell you, but then I’d have to kill you,” Liz jokes. And to think Jay said Liz wasn’t funny!  

The Dawnk conversation shifts and now everyone’s ragging on Julius for representing Kurt and just generally being a Trump voter. There’s a lot of heated and racial language I’m not going to type here, enough to make Julius spit out his coffee and storm down to the associate floor.

He goes to Devin, who I’m not sure if we’ve seen before but is high ranking enough to have Lucca’s old office, to get information on the anonymous posts.

Anonymous Bison says, “Unpopular opinion: I blame Adrian.” Hey, Anon Bison, let’s be friends! I am with you. Adrian is the one who brought Diane on, who encouraged them to lean into Julius’s Trump connections, and who pushed the firm to pursue profit over everything else. Diane and Julius aren’t blameless (though I don’t actually think defending Kurt is a bad thing) but if there’s someone who actively strategized to make RL what it is today? Adrian all the way.  

In what world does noting that Julius is pissed in an anonymous message do ANYTHING to stop people who are pissed at him? If they were that concerned about him being pissed they wouldn’t have said anything in the first place.  

Liz and opposing counsel talk over each other in court until the judge makes them stop. I think we’ve seen both the judge and opposing counsel this season, making me wonder if there’s a bit of a COVID bubble situation going on here with the guest stars.  

Judge Farley jokes about “contempt cards” that go up in value and Wackner, of course, is all, “Wow, I really love that.”  

Liz, whose entire strategy was to not let on that anyone calls Wackner a judge, refers to Wackner as “Judge Wackner.” Come on, Liz! (I buy that she’d slip up—there's no one in the world I wouldn’t believe slipping up—but ugh!)  

How did the opposition not realize that they could make this about Wackner’s “crazy court” by referring to him as Judge Wackner? You’d think they’d be all over that.  

Judge Farley looks SO unhappy that Wackner would refer to himself as a judge; it’s phenomenal.  

Now Marissa stumbles over stuff because she’s, for some reason, speaking in court. I bought Liz’s dumb moment more.  

The plaintiff’s strategy is to make it look like Wackner is of unsound mind, and they’ve got video evidence. Remember how Del, Cord, and Wackner all chatted in the RL elevator? Well, turns out that lead to a reality show about Wackner for Del’s streaming service. Sounds about right.  

I don’t really think Wackner cares about attention or anyone else’s motivations... I think he just likes the idea of budget and an audience and a platform.  

Liz meets Del for a romantic dinner and asks him when he was going to tell her about Wackner’s show. Del doesn’t understand why she’s upset. He doesn’t get why he would’ve needed her permission to go into business with Wackner. (I don’t think he’s wrong from a business POV, but from a relationship POV, he totally should’ve let her know!)  

Liz says he should’ve asked because they’re using it against her in court. “That is unfortunate, baby, but this streaming show could be really good for Wackner. It’ll draw attention to his court. And... as I say that...that sounds... okay, look I’m sorry,” Del realizes. I like that he sees that Liz has a point. He goes on to note that he would be totally open to Liz trying to go into business with any of his acquaintances, and I think he genuinely means it.  

Del notes that this is what “power couples” do. Oh? So they’re an official couple? Don’t power couples also associate in public and not hide their relationship from their colleagues?  

This is the place where I note, yet again, that it is always going to be more interesting to see a relationship that feels realistic than to see a relationship that feels like it takes place in a vacuum.  

Liz doesn’t want Wackner becoming popular. Del argues someone else would’ve made the show if he didn’t, and that “disrupters gotta disrupt.” Oh God.  

Are we going to remember that Liz has a child at any point this season?  

Diane is reading the Dawnk discussion at home. It’s still lively even after work hours. The associates appear to be discussing the vaccine before someone changes the topic to “the Diane situation.”

One associate notes that the partners probably aren’t happy about Diane either and just have to vote her out. Kurt arrives home as Diane reads this, reacts to the loud music Diane has playing, the open alcohol, and her general demeanor and asks if they’re getting drunk. “Are we getting a job with the NRA?” she counters.  

Turns out it’s not entirely untrue about Kurt and the NRA. They want him for a new role. It would pay $167,000. I can’t decide if I think that’s a lot (objectively that’s a high salary) or not very much at all (isn’t Kurt the top of his field?)  

Kurt notes he doesn’t have a job so he’s considering it. “Diane, our politics are very different,” he starts. “I know,” Diane says. “I’m, lately, struck by just how different they are.”

“I would just like one week when I don’t have to defend you,” Diane says in frustration. Kurt doesn’t even know what that means at the current moment.  

“You’ll tell me when they offer you the job?” Diane asks. “They may not offer it,” Kurt says. “No, they will,” Diane says, because she knows that it’s basically a done deal already.  

In the middle of the night, Diane turns to Kurt and tries to ask him a question. That wakes him up. She asks who he voted for in 2020 and he doesn’t answer. Uh oh.  

Dreaming now, Diane sits up and asks, “Hello? What do I do?” More on that later...

The HR nightmare known as Dawnk is still going wild the next day at the office. (Seriously, with HR that strict, the anon feature would’ve been disabled the second the first semi-controversial comment was posted.) Everyone’s obsessed.  

The partners, minus Diane, all gather in Liz’s office to discuss Dawnk (and the topics of conversation on Dawnk). Madeline says they should ignore it. I say they should make STR Laurie shut it down and be the bad guy. It is nonsensical that this workplace would continue to allow Dawnk to continue! In addition to being an HR nightmare, it’s also a drain on productivity if everyone’s constantly glued to it, and I imagine STR Laurie cares about profit more than anything else.  

But like I really don’t get why Madeline says they can’t censor their associates. Of course they can shut down the app if they want to! Someone put the app there in the first place, no? I do understand not wanting to look like you’re violating free speech (even though taking away anonymous commenting in the workplace would not be a violation of free speech) but I highly doubt it would be only the partners complaining. Tina, whose promotion was called into question, would be complaining too. Anyone trying to get work done, or anyone who didn’t like the toxic culture, or anyone who was uncomfortable with a joke made, would be complaining. There are more than enough reasons it would be perfectly acceptable to take the anon commenting away.

Now the partners are fighting about Kurt’s case too. “Diane is not responsible for her husband,” Liz says when Madeline says that Diane should’ve known better than to get involved. Um, Liz, Madeline is right. Diane isn’t responsible for Kurt’s actions but she’s sure as hell responsible for volunteering to represent him.  

“In the real world of this firm, Diane’s billable hours speak for themselves,” Liz notes when a partner tries to call Diane’s unsavory associations into question.  

“The rest of us put in the hours too, for the record,” notes another partner. I’m sure... but do you put in DIANE’S hours and have DIANE’S client list? My guess is no. If Diane weren’t the biggest earner at the firm we wouldn’t be having this debate. She’d just be gone. She’d never have been at the firm to begin with.  

“Liz, when I joined this firm, it was because of your father’s legacy. It was about Black civil rights, activism, justice. That’s what people talked about in meetings. Now, people talk about billable hours, million-dollar clients, corporate payouts. Now, I know it’s not your fault. That was Boseman’s vision and we were trying to survive the Trump years by bringing in white lawyers, but those days are gone. They’re done with. And I miss being a strong black firm,” Madeline says. Everyone but Liz (and probably Julius) seems to agree with that.

This is one of many interesting facets of this issue. When Madeline argues against Diane, she’s not just arguing that she wants a black person running the firm for optics. She’s not saying that Diane-but-black would be an acceptable choice. She is saying she wants RL to be the firm it was at the very very start of the show—a firm committed to social justice, not maximizing revenue. A firm that didn’t just accept every client that came their way because they love profit. A firm that stood for something. So my question is: Does Liz want that firm?  

Liz is hard to read throughout this whole plot, and I think that may be intentional. Liz isn’t a manager by training—she was an AUSA who suddenly became a name partner at a firm (if you want to talk about seniority and skipping the line, Liz is a way better example than Diane—you can even through some nepotism, twice over, in there). She doesn’t seem to have a clear goal for her firm other than maintaining the status quo and keeping power. Liz not taking a stronger stance from the start (either accepting that they are no longer going to be a social justice-oriented firm or pushing to get them back to that place) allows these kinds of questions to fester. It’s my hope that this becomes text instead of subtext pretty soon, ‘cause this is the kind of thing that if it’s subtext for too long will start to feel like bad writing/Liz being conveniently clueless. It’s way more interesting if Liz is just not yet good at being a manager... because she is learning on the job.  

Anyway. I think the ideal solution here is probably that Diane and Liz continue to run RL: A STR Laurie Company (the fact they’re owned by corporate overlords kind of makes any decision about RL’s mission moot) since Diane wants to do that and Liz seems to be content where she is. Madeline and the other partners, instead of trying to force STRL to let them pursue the cases they want, can accept pay cuts and go start their own firm. Maybe they can even team up with Barbara Kolstad!  

None of that’s to say that the dilemma here is easily solvable, nor is it to say that Diane shouldn’t consider stepping down. I’ll say more on that later. My point here is just that this issue is much deeper than just if Diane is on the letterhead or not. As long as they’re owned by STR Laurie and have clients like Rivi, Diane stepping aside would just be a band-aid.  

(And that, I think, is intentional... they’ve been building the “why are we even representing x?” tension pretty consistently this season, so I imagine it’s on the writers’ minds.)  

Diane stumbles across the secret partner’s meeting and knows something’s up.  

“You gotta handle this, Liz. You cannot have a white partner leading a black firm. We’ll lose clients with that kind of hypocrisy” Madeline insists after Diane heads back to her office. I’ve already said it, but just to say it in a less rambly way: Madeline is right, but she’s right IF AND ONLY IF the goal is to be a black firm. So, Liz, is it?  

(They’ll lose clients, sure, but which ones? They’ll lose the clients Madeline wants while Diane continues to keep bringing in business and Rivi and Cord and Wolfe-Colman and their elk* stay put.)  

*I know this is not the correct word; see 6x17 of TGW

David Lee has also noticed the meeting in Liz’s office and thinks this may be the “beginning of the end.” Diane glares at him and he says he was just joking.

Diane schedules a meeting with Liz. Liz’s assistant doesn’t know Diane by voice, adding to her frustration.

Credits! We are 22 minutes in! This might be a record if 5x01 hadn’t saved the credits til the very end!  

I’ve already written more than I did last week by a couple hundred words.  

Two interesting things about the credits. First, this episode was written by Aurin Squire. Forgive me if I’ve mentioned this in a prior recap (I know I thought about it but can’t remember if I deleted), but I think Aurin Squire and Davita Scarlett are key to why TGF and Evil are both always so good. They’re the two writers other than the Kings who are in both the TGF and Evil rooms, and they both REALLY seem to be on the same wavelength as the Kings. I imagine that having four people who are in both rooms helps with managing both at basically the same time.  

(This isn’t where I wanted to go with this bullet point, but I may as well shout out how great Evil is this season, too! It also just aired an episode by Aurin Squire about the lead white female character realizing her privilege!)  

Second, this episode was directed by Brooke Kennedy. I didn’t know that going in, but seconds before the director credit popped up, I was thinking to myself, “this episode feels like it’s going to be a very important one. I bet Brooke directed it.” I was very pleased to see her name appear.  

(For anyone who doesn’t know, Brooke is an EP who’s been involved in nearly every episode of both Wife and Fight and she tends to direct important episodes that require a lot of familiarity with the characters. She directed 5x15 of The Good Wife and she’s done a bunch of the premieres and finales that Robert King hasn’t claimed for himself.)  

Diane and Liz meet in a bar to catch up. Diane’s still staring at Dawnk. Liz takes her phone and silences the notifications. “Who thought that sound was pleasing?” Diane complains. “All day in court today,” Liz commiserates. Carmen had to teach her how to silence the notifications. Liz, you’re using an iPhone, there is a very easy to use switch that silences your phone, like you would need to for court. I know you know this.  

(I think Diane, despite her complaining about the sound, is captivated by Dawnk.)  

Liz orders soda water instead of a drink. I assume that’s intentional, perhaps because she knows this isn’t going to be an easy conversation or a long night of drinking? She has wine in an earlier scene.  

I love that Liz and Diane chat about Dawnk even though there’s no real plot reason for them to spend this much time discussing it. Little moments like this make me believe Liz and Diane are actually colleagues who get along well and make management decisions together.  

Diane asks if Liz thinks Dawnk actually increases productivity. Liz laughs—she does not. But she knows the associates would “riot” if they got rid of it. She’s right. I still think they can get rid of it without too much blowback. But at least they’re acknowledging this.  

“What do the partners think?” Diane asks, very intentionally shifting the subject. You can hear it in Christine’s voice and see it in her body language—Diane is looking for an opportunity to talk about what she wants to talk about.

“God, Madeline can’t even open it. She’s lost her password three times. She finally just gave up,” Liz says. This is concerning! Madeline should know how to open an app! Probably not unrealistic, though. When you’re that senior, you probably don’t need to know how to use a messaging app. And messaging apps can be confusing sometimes. Like, I still don’t understand how to use Discord.  

The captions have a line I can’t hear in this scene—Liz (I presume?) saying “You know, ‘cause it’s Madeline.” This makes it sound like Madeline is a little less than competent, no?  

“Thanks for sitting down with me, Liz,” Diane says in a quite serious tone. “Of course. So, you’re wondering about the meeting today?” Liz immediately understands. “I am.” “Yeah. Uh, it was about Julius. He’s being harassed on Dawnk,” Liz explains.

“Okay, and I couldn’t be a part of that?” Diane wants to know. “He’s being harassed because he’s defending your husband,” Liz explains. Diane doesn’t seem surprised (perhaps because she, too, would have read these messages?). “Well, that’s unfortunate. We’ve represented people far worse than Kurt, who, by the way, was found innocent,” Diane argues like they’re having a very different conversation. It’s one thing to represent rapists and murderers and drug lords—and I’d argue that the same people pissed about Kurt are also pissed about them!-- and another for your leadership to be married to/close friends with someone who you believe participated in the events of 1/6.  

“I’m not saying it wasn’t. But, January 6th. I mean, we watched the Confederate flag make its way into the Capitol building. You know, those people that Kurt didn’t want to turn over to the FBI, those people. They don’t even want us alive,” Liz says better than I ever could. I think it’s important that Liz mentions a POV that likely wouldn’t have ever crossed Diane’s mind here. This is a small glimpse of why it could be so important to have black leadership at a black firm. Would Diane be thinking about the implications of having the Confederate flag in the Capitol? Probably not in the same way that Liz instantly does.  

“Well, not all of them,” Diane Lockhart, who is suddenly an idiot, says. Liz looks at her drink and grimaces, and Diane realizes she’s said something wrong. “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean that. I’m certainly not defending those people. They’re all despicable traitors.”

“And now, that’s what people are saying about Julius,” Liz explains. “And me?” Diane asks, though she already knows the answer. Liz doesn’t want to answer that. Before she can say anything, Diane asks if she’s being pushed out.  

“No. Not pushed out. You’re a name partner. You can’t be pushed out,” Liz clarifies. Diane knows there’s a but. “The partners just think you should do the right thing,” Liz adds.

“And step aside?” Diane asks. “No. Stay in the firm. Stay as an equity partner, just step back from your managerial role,” Liz says. Diane pauses. “Liz, I... I pull in the big clients. I... I get the billable hours. But still, ‘maybe you should step aside.’ Weren’t we going to form a firm led by women?” Diane argues. Oh, wow, I have so much to say.

First, I completely understand why Diane doesn’t want to give up her title or her power. She's Diane Lockhart! She’s been one of the best in her field for decades. She’s not wrong about the clients and billable hours. It’s just that every time Diane decides to be at this firm, making arguments about how she should retain her role in power, she’s saying that she values her own career/appearance more than the values she claims to care about. And every time she refuses to take a back seat or threatens to walk rather than sacrifice, she’s saying she’ll only through her weight behind her colleagues and their mission if she gets credit for it. To be clear, I don’t think it would be the shittiest decision in the world if Diane decided to walk, to take her clients to a new firm and to let RL become the firm Madeline and the rest envision. It’s asking a lot of her to give up that power and prestige. The interesting part of this dilemma is, to me, that Diane claims to value working for RL and to be active in the fight against racism... but the second she’s forced to choose between that fight and her own power, we all know what Diane is going to choose. There was never really any doubt. Diane doesn’t have to be on the forefront of this fight if she doesn’t want to... but she can’t claim to be invested in the fight if she isn’t willing to sacrifice, at all.

Second, LMAO at this firm led by women idea. Every time Diane talks about her firm led by women idea it sounds sillier! Not because a firm led by women is silly, but because Diane has a habit of saying this like it is a shared goal and each time she references it, it sounds less and less intersectional. For example, when she says it here, she’s essentially saying a firm led by women only has meaning if one of those women is a white woman (specifically a white woman named Diane Lockhart). Who’s to say that Madeline wouldn’t be made partner in Diane’s absence? Or Barbara (haha) or someone else we haven’t met? There is a very real possibility that Liz and another woman could run the firm and Diane would still be unhappy about it. Diane doesn’t ask Liz for a commitment that if she does step aside, her replacement would be female (idk if it’s legal to make this commitment but you get my point). Diane acts like asking her to step aside is already a betrayal of the female led firm.  

“And I hope that it will be,” Liz says, basically hinting to Diane that there are women in the world besides her.  

“But black women?” Diane says, agitatedly. “Diane, I... am not voting against you. I promised you that I wouldn’t. But there is growing anger here. They want to address it at the next partners' meeting. So just think about it,” Liz responds.

I think Liz is totally fair and forthcoming in this scene and strikes pretty much the right tone for this initial conversation. She gives Diane a choice and is honest with her.  

“You’re a good person,” Liz adds. Diane does a double-take, understanding that Liz is actually telling her “You are a good person, so you know that you absolutely need to step aside.”  

“No, I’m not!” Diane responds. As I said: Diane already knows what she is going to do. She needs to do mental gymnastics to excuse her actions, but her mind was made up before the question was even raised. (She did warn Liz in 5x01 she was going to fight any attempt to push her out.)

“Yes, you are,” Liz says again. She may as well be saying, “No, don’t try this. Everyone will think you’re in the wrong if you push this.”

Later, at home, Diane is doing some stretches on the floor and groaning. I don’t know if this scene is meant to show her age, but it does remind me that Diane is nearly 70 and started off this show by planning to retire. Retirement doesn’t seem to be an option for her here. (That’s fine by me; she is a workaholic whose career is her life.)

Kurt asks Diane what she wants to do. She says she wants to keep her name on the letterhead and “keep what I fought for.” Heh, I was just re-reading something I wrote about Cary a while ago and I’d pointed out that when Alicia and Cary discuss merging with what’s left of LG, Cary is also concerned about his name on the letterhead because even though he wants to change the world, he also cares about having power. It’s almost like Diane and Cary are really similar characters! (They are! That’s why the Diane/Cary moment in Hitting the Fan is so good!)  

Diane calls her position as name partner a fight against “gender and then age discrimination.” She isn’t wrong, especially when you consider how meaningful it likely was when she and Stern went into business together. It’s very easy for me to forget that when Diane has such an attachment to fighting for white women’s rights, it’s not just because she’s out of touch and selfish: it’s because that was something she personally had to fight for. That doesn’t make it okay that she seems to forget the concept of intersectionality (which she’s definitely aware of) the second anything challenges her own power, but it does explain why a firm run by women is so important to her.

Diane is not wrong that she deserves name partnership and she’s not wrong to not want to step aside. Yet, starting a war to retain her position as name partner is a CHOICE. The best thing for Diane to do here (morally, I mean) would be for her to step aside and throw her resources behind the firm’s new leadership, using her experiences and stature to benefit the firm (this would also be a way for her to cement her legacy and mentor a new generation of leaders). The best compromise, I think, would be for someone to leave the current firm—either Diane or the dissenting partners, probably Diane since Liz seems to agree with Madeline—without any hard feelings. The worst possible choice is for Diane to insist that this firm is hers and force every single tension at the firm to come to a head, screwing over Liz in the process and potentially permanently ruining the firm’s status as a black firm. Sooo... yeah.  

(I say it could ruin the firm’s status as a black firm because if Diane’s a white partner who happens to be there and the firm is mostly black, that’s one thing. If Diane is a white partner who fought all of the black partners to assert her own dominance over their firm... that’s hard to come back from. She can’t really call herself an ally, can she?)  

“Diane, this is the first time I’ve ever heard you sound defeated,” Kurt says. “Because I can’t win this,” she says. She insists she can’t even after Kurt tries to cheer her on (of course he does, he probably thinks having an all black firm is just identity politics and therefore worthless).

“You just don’t want to,” Kurt says. He is not wrong. This is a winnable fight for Diane. Liz is smart but Diane has the experience, the clients, the power, and her own reputation to use in this fight. Liz has her dad’s name (and I don’t think it would come to this, but Diane knows how she can pretty easily destroy Liz’s dad’s reputation). (Liz is great, don’t get me wrong. Liz is also someone who happened into a name partnership because her dad was important.)  

“It’s bigger than that. To fight this would go against every fiber of my being,” Diane says. “Every fiber in your being is about winning,” Kurt counters. Oh, damn. That’s a succinct way of putting it. He is completely right. Diane would love to think that every fiber of her being is about her commitment to social justice and women’s rights. It is not. If that were the case, would she really be a lawyer with clients like ChumHum, Bishop, Sweeney, Rivi, and Wolfe-Colman? We all know the answer to this. We all know Diane likes social justice a lot but winning, wealth, and power far more.

When I first watched TGW, now nearly a decade ago, I was a high schooler and my media diet mostly consisted of Desperate Housewives and a bunch of procedurals like Bones and Castle. The thing that hooked me about TGW—more than Alicia’s journey, more than anything—was that TGW never had easy answers to anything. Will tells Diane in 1x07 that “nothing here is pure and nothing here is simple” and that basically blew my mind. TGW always made it obvious that Will was morally gray, which fascinated me. But I struggled with Diane. Here was this woman who looked like she should be someone so impressive and inspirational I could write a college admissions essay about her (I did not, but that was my frame of reference at the time)… but the decisions she made... never seemed all that great?? I couldn’t comprehend it.  

When Blue Ribbon Panel aired in March 2012, I wrote to a friend, “Diane confused me a little bit tonight. She didn’t approve of Alicia standing up to the panel, and yet, she’s supposed to care about people, the truth, morality, etc etc. I never understand Diane’s motivations– is her philosophy to help others whenever it wouldn’t hurt her, personally, to do so?”  

At that point, Diane compromising her values struck me as something confusing because I wanted to think of her as a powerful role model and icon, and I didn’t know what to do with someone who looked like and often was role model material who also sometimes betrayed her values for her own self-interest. I had my analysis of Diane down: she her motivations ARE to help others whenever it wouldn’t hurt her, personally, to do so. All I needed to do was remove my question mark from the end of that thought.  

I promise I’ll move on from quoting myself, but I also want to share a paragraph I wrote about Diane in March 2014 (during season five of Wife) because it says what I want to say now as well as anything I could write today:

Diane is driven and ambitious. Her initial actions can come as the result of intense emotions, but given enough time and space, Diane will always be strategic and pragmatic when it comes to business. She’s spent her entire life putting her career first, and she wouldn’t have it any other way. That she found love is just icing.  Kurt aside, the two most important things to Diane are advancing her own self-interest and doing good in the world. These objectives appear to be a contradiction, and often, they are. Nine times out of ten, when it comes down to it, she’ll choose herself. I mean no judgment here: another central aspect of Diane’s character is that she’s upfront about her choices and stands by them, and this sort of moral ambiguity makes for a great character.  

The reason I quote myself here is not to be like, ha ha, I was right. It's because I think this episode is even more powerful because I can copy/paste in stuff I wrote nine years ago or seven years ago (oh god, 2014 was seven years ago?) verbatim and it can hold up as analysis. Both Fight and Wife have always implied Diane’s selfish side and given more than enough evidence to make a convincing argument about it, but they’ve never really engaged with it directly (and if you ask the social media teams for either show, Diane is a #queen who can never do wrong). This episode interrogates something that’s always been an unpleasant part of Diane’s character, and I’m so fucking glad about it.  

(I don’t think anyone’s accusing Diane of not growing as a person but it crossed my mind that this could be seen as lack of growth. I don’t think it is. I wouldn’t expect Diane to change. Her life and career are so set that growth on this without a LOT of struggle on her part would feel like a cop out.)  

Another reason I quote myself is to highlight how friggin’ character driven this episode is. I’ve seen a lot of people saying this episode felt like old-school TGW—and it absolutely does; that’s also how I felt—and I think that’s because it’s so character focused and meaty.  

But back to this scene. Kurt tells Diane that if she doesn’t try to win she should just give up entirely. Seems like bad advice.  

“Kurt, I appreciate the pep talk, but I don’t think the way you think. I cannot put my interests above a whole group of people—black people—just so I can keep my position.” Sure you can, Diane. You just don’t like to believe that about yourself. You know how Diane says to Kurt earlier that she knows the NRA will offer him the job? That is how I feel about this scene. The writers go to great lengths to explain where Diane’s head is at when she decides to fight for her partnership, but they’d have needed to do ten times more to get me to believe Diane would step aside voluntarily.  

Kurt basically thinks that Diane should fight because if her competition is actually talented enough to deserve name partnership, they should fight her for it. He’s missing the point here.  

“But a black person’s talent has always been valued less than mine,” Diane counters. The fact she knows and understands this makes her decision even less forgivable.  

Kurt knows he’s going to lose this argument and tries the same strategy he did on 5x01: telling Diane she’s right and should just give up and leave the firm. Diane doesn’t like that answer either.  

Given how much I loathed Jay’s hallucinations, I was expecting that when Diane asks Kurt in the middle of the night if he believes the election was stolen and then sits down at her fireplace to have a chat with Ruth Bader Ginsburg, I’d loathe what happened next. I did not! I actually really liked it!  

I think this is more effective than Jay’s hallucinations, at least for me, because it's less gimmicky. It isn’t played for humor or quirk, and it gets to the character-driven point a LOT faster. This feels more similar to Alicia imagining Gloria Steinem is telling her she’s good enough to be on the Supreme Court in 6x03 than it does to Jay’s hallucinations.  

I LOVE that Diane would dream that RBG would advise her on her work dilemma. Dream!RBG tells Diane that “any law firm would be insane to let you go.” (I don’t wanna spend too much time fighting dream logic, but I feel like the operative phrase here is ‘let you go’. Are the RL partners seeing this as letting Diane go? Or are they just trying to get at a different goal and Diane is in the way, and they don’t really care if Diane has top connections or billable hours? It’s almost like the other RL partners want a firm that stands for something and all Diane has stood for thus far at the firm is profit...)  

Diane pushes back on RBG and RBG shares her “real” thoughts. This is where this sequence clicks into place for me, because it’s working on a LOT of levels. Obviously, Diane is going to imagine that her hero tells her to do exactly what she wants to do (the aforementioned mental gymnastics). But without losing the level on which this is dream!RBG and filtered through Diane’s POV, the writers are also... criticizing RBG for not stepping down herself!? It’s fascinating and pointed and makes her the exact right choice to play Diane’s conscience.  

Dream!RBG shares her life story and notes how she was always asked to step aside, but she didn’t and that’s how she got to be RBG. “Don’t step aside because someone wants you to. Don’t step aside for politics. Men are always asking women to step aside so a man can go first,” RBG advises Diane. Even Diane knows that this isn’t exactly equal to her current situation-- “Even though I’m being asked to step aside so that a black person can take my place?” she counters.  

So RBG asks if Diane can still do something “for women” if she says. Diane says yes, and RBG says Diane should do that instead of stepping aside—she should do whatever it takes. That’s the wrong takeaway, Diane! If you want to do something for women then a) you could do something for the black women at your firm lol or b) you could politely remove yourself from the firm, encourage your most profitable clients to stay on if they are wanted by the other partners or and/or c) you could choose to bring your talent and your stature to a non-profit. But, of course, these options aren’t on the table. There’s a reason the options are leave and lose everything or stay and fight for name partnership, and it’s that Diane cares about maintaining control of what she sees as hers and winning more than she cares about anything else, including or even especially her desire to help women.

And also what women is she even helping at RL? Herself? She’s certainly not helping Wolfe-Coleman's rape victim. The closest she’s recently come to helping women is when she told off Weinstein’s lawyer and tried to start #MeToo... in a DREAM.  

The score for the next sequence sounds so familiar and I can’t place it. At first, I thought it was Hitting the Fan, but I’m not sure if that’s the right reference (also, damn, the Hitting the Fan score is REALLY GOOD!). I think it might be similar to 5x14 when Alicia’s pacing back and forth in the hotel room.  

Anyway, Diane starts meeting with her (white, male) clients to tell them about how she’s stepping aside. She hasn’t run this past any of the other partners, of course. She’s doing exactly what they want, in the most malicious and calculated way possible.

One of her clients is a fracking client who wants to win over democrats by being a RL client.  

Diane is so sneaky here! No one said that if Diane steps aside as partner she can’t handle the day to day on her cases... yet that’s what Diane tells this client since she knows it’ll make him mad!  

Diane makes a point of showing her fracking client that his new representation will be Madeline. He doesn’t know anything about Madeline, and, as Diane was likely counting on, he isn’t confident in having a black woman he’s less “comfortable” with on his cases. I don’t know if Diane was going for the racial element here, but... if you’re really concerned about continuity, you don’t have this meeting without having Madeline ready to jump in and show she’s read up on the client. I’m sure it’s possible that Diane meant nothing in giving this client only Madeline’s name, title, gender, and race to go off of, but is that likely?  

She hands another (white, male) client off to Julius, whom she describes as a “very competent lawyer.” What an introduction. She says she’s not retiring and the firm “just wants to let some other people step forward into a name partner position.” Diane knows how to sell clients on changes they won’t like. She knows this isn’t how you do it.  

That phrase, “comfortable with you” is doing a lot of work, no? Both clients so far have said it, and while it might not be racially coded... it’s racially coded.  

“Who should we call about it?” the clients ask. Diane can barely keep herself from smiling.

They call David Lee, immediately. He takes the call in the middle of a meeting, while someone else is talking—he is David Lee, after all.

The information on the screen in David’s meeting is quite interesting. It’s about STRL’s plans for RL. Here’s how the firm is described: “RL is a high-end mid-sized Chicago law firm that can consolidate its specialized brand within the American POC community and expand its national and global brand with STR Laure.” Soooo... yeah. For the corporate overloards, RL needs it to be just black enough that it appears like a black firm, but they care more about appearances and branding than anything of substance. (Notice how it says “POC” and not black? Notice how there’s this mention of national and global presence that doesn’t seem to be on the RL partners’ mind?)  

There’s an area called room for growth, listing top clients—entertainment law, fracking, the DNC, and civil cases against CPD. Interestingly, two of these are Liz’s clients (entertainment and DNC), one is Adrian’s (civil cases against CPD), and only fracking is Diane’s... so maybe I didn’t give Liz enough credit earlier.  

There’s also a plan of action that includes partners working with STRL and the 15-20% layoffs we already know about. I don’t think this text is meant to include any new info, but I assume one of the writers had a hand in writing it and it’s a good way of confirming things that had been subtext.

Wackner’s reality show looks... well, like his court, because his court always looked like a reality show. Cutting together the most out-there moments (audience reaction cards, Wackner singing “Come on defense!”, Wackner renaming himself Judge Shmuley for a day) makes Wackner look pretty bad.

Hey Liz, I thought you figured out how to silence your notifications for Dawnk permanently. (It’s not all high-stakes controversy over on the “R&L General” channel—the anon animals are now discussing a broken coffee maker.) (Though even this discussion is a bit political! Anon Owl says they bet STR’s coffee machine works, and Anon Dolphin wants to know why they don’t have more coffee maters at RL.)  

There’s also a dance party—which Marissa participates in—in the footage of Wackner.  

Hey, wouldn’t Marissa have reported the cameras to Diane and Liz? I feel like she’d know they’d want to know.  

Wackner ends up on the stand to offer context for the strange-looking clips. In a smart move, Liz offers to just let Judge Farley ask questions—she knows that’s what Farley is really after.

Unsurprisingly, Wackner’s context makes his outrageous practices seem much more reasonable. There’s a scoreboard to keep lawyers aware of where they’re standing so they can gauge instead of guess at Wackner’s thought process. Shmuley is to honor a recently deceased relative. The costumes are to prevent bias and cut down entitlement.  

Plaintiff’s counsel argues that Wackner is biased and the case continues even though Wackner’s (mostly) won over Farley.  

The case next turns to something about copyright law that sounds downright silly—the point is to underline that Wackner’s court makes more sense than real court on some things. It makes more common sense and it’s less racist.  

Del gets called into court. It’s interesting how these scenes are blocked together rather than spread out. The same is true of Diane’s scenes—after credits, we have Diane and Liz at the bar, Diane at home, Diane talking to RBG, Diane making moves, and then David Lee becoming aware of the situation. Then we have several consecutive court scenes (all of which feel like they have natural break points) of Wackner stuff. If I had to guess, I would guess that it’s to keep the momentum going. The Diane stuff plays better when it feels like a continuous chain rather than a subplot.  

(The only thing that suffers is that I have no idea why there’s a court scene about copyright law right after the plaintiff argues they have evidence about Wackner’s bias? I probably wouldn’t have even noticed if the scenes had been spread out more.)  

Now Cord’s involvement with Wackner’s court becomes an issue. It’s funny they need a witness to bring up Cord when Cord is SITTING IN THE COURT ROOM.  

Apparently Cord is financing a company that would compete with the plaintiff’s company and this means Wackner is biased. As the next scene will explain, Cord wasn’t even aware of his investment in the rival company, and Wackner certainly wasn’t. But, regardless, it’s going to be challenging to prove that neither Wackner nor Cord knew about the investment, and the opposition is going to go after Cord’s financial records, which no one wants. Liz suggests a continuance, which would give Wackner about a year to keep working on his court before they have to come back to this issue.  

Wackner HATES the idea of delays and is all, THIS IS WHY I HAVE MY OWN COURT and again, he isn’t wrong.  

David Lee needs to see Liz, now. Liz and Diane meet in David Lee’s office and stare at their phones. Diane says she has no idea what the meeting is about, even though she basically set up the meeting herself.  

“What the fuck is going on?” David Lee says. Diane feigns surprise and asks for more specifics. David Lee reveals that four top clients have called with issues about their representation shifting.  

Liz knows what’s going on and aggressively says, “Diane, thoughts?” “Nothing from me. I met with my clients. I just told them of a restructuring that I was being told about,” Diane says like it’s no big deal. Liz and Diane both know that Diane forced this meeting.

“Is this a power play on your part?” Liz asks Diane. “No, it’s just updating my clients,” Diane says for David Lee’s benefit or commitment to the bit or something. It is definitely a power play, and a nearly unforgivable one done to an ally.  

“David, Diane was told about frustration at the partner level about a white woman being a name partner in a black firm. And apparently, this is her response,” Liz explains. “I just told our clients what was going on,” Diane defends. David Lee doesn’t really care about what happened: he cares about one thing, and that thing is money.  

“Diane’s a fucking name partner until STR Laurie says she’s not. No one decides until I decide. Now stick your race war back in its bottle,” David Lee says. I mean, basically, yeah, that’s what happens when you merge with a huge firm that only cares about profit.  

I like that this ends up coming back to STRL. You can’t really have a conversation about RL’s identity without also acknowledging that RL is not independently owned. Sure, STRL will care at some point if RL loses its clout with the black community—but like most companies, they care about guaranteed loss of profit and the short term more than long-term what-ifs. It may sound cynical, but if Madeline and all of the other partners quit, STRL would simply put all their effort into keeping Liz or even just the Reddick name and would then hire black lawyers who think more like Julius than Madeline to keep the reputation. STRL does not give a shit about helping anyone, and that’s what Diane counts on.  

I do not believe the version of RL that Madeline wants can exist when they’re under STRL’s control. I believe the version Diane wants (not really a black firm) can, and I believe the version Liz seems to want (one that’s mostly black and occasionally social justice focused) can, but this issue won’t go away until STRL does.  

Sure, Diane, keep telling yourself you’re fighting the good fight out here.  

(Perhaps “The Good Fight” is a more ironic and fraught title than it originally seemed.)  

“That was a mistake. I am on your side, and you don’t even realize it,” Liz tells Diane afterwards. Interesting that Liz says “I am” and not “I was.” I would love to know what Liz really thinks about this situation and hope we get more from her POV next week. I think Liz wants to run a black firm, but I also think she wants to run a successful firm and likes working with Diane. Liz is on Diane’s side about as much as she can be while still advocating for Diane to step down.  

Pissing off Liz is a very interesting move for Diane here, too. Diane wants to fight the one person who is on her side for control of a firm that doesn’t want her there, and she’s convinced herself this is the smart move! Kind of wild. What does Diane think the day to day will look like? I think I said this above, but in forcing this war, Diane is all but guaranteeing that if she wins, RL will only be a black firm in that STRL will say it’s one to make more money.

Julius and Diane chat next. Julius says he wants to start his own firm—with Diane. Her only reaction is laughter, but, like, this is probably happening. I’m not sure why she laughs. It’s not quite a case of unfortunate timing (Diane could’ve done this before she blew things up, and it’s not quite too late for Diane to commit to leaving and smooth things over with Liz), so maybe it’s just a “well, this sounds familiar!” laugh.  

(If you think of Previously On as 5x00 instead of 5x01, that would make this episode 5x05, which would make this a Hitting the Fan callback. I can also do mental gymnastics!)  

The episode could end there, but it doesn’t. We’ve still got a Wackner plot to resolve. Cord has some people beat up the plaintiff as a way of enforcing Wackner’s verdict and getting the real court case to go away. Marissa picks up on what’s happened faster than Wackner does, unless Wackner just doesn’t care.  

It’s subtle, but throughout this episode, there’s a little bit of a trend towards Marissa becoming more skeptical of Wackner. She tries to keep him under control in court, tries to reason with him about the continuance, and in this scene, she just looks entirely displeased and alarmed every time she’s on camera.  

We get another scene with RBG. “It’s different for me than it was for you,” Diane says. She notes that unlike RBG, she herself is up against another “dominated culture.” This other dominated culture is “black lawyers.” (I’m sorry, I just find the way she says “black lawyers” funny, partially because she says “lawyers” instead of people and partially because Diane seems insistent on only occasionally remembering that Liz is both black and female.)  

I can’t tell if this scene was originally intended to close the episode or not. The blocks of scenes, the way the episode seems like it should’ve ended with Julius’s laugh but instead has three more scenes (guy getting beat up, Wackner’s court, this one), and the fact the Kings said this episode had to be almost totally rethought because both Christine and Audra had concerns about the original script all suggest to me that maybe some of the scenes in this episode got shuffled around to keep momentum and hit the right notes at the right time.  

Diane acknowledges that RBG could’ve stepped down and we wouldn’t have a conservative majority on the court now if she had. RBG insists that she wouldn’t have stepped aside even if Obama had guaranteed that her replacement would be black. She says it’s because she only knows what she can do—not what others would do. And “what you know is always better than what might happen.”  

Even if this was originally supposed to happen earlier (Diane saying she doesn’t know what to do makes me feel like it way), I like that we get to see it’s still weighing on Diane after the fact.  

(Also, I have seen some comments about, for lack of a better phrase, the girl power energy of these Diane and RBG scenes. No! These scenes aren’t a tribute to RBG! She’s in these scenes because she didn’t step down and can thus help Diane excuse her own actions! These scenes aren’t exactly anti-RBG, but they are certainly critical of some of her choices!)  

The topic shifts to Diane and Kurt’s relationship (another reason to put this somewhere other than the main part of the episode; this would slow down the momentum of the middle part of the episode) and its similarity to RBG’s friendship with Scalia.  

Tbh, I don’t think a friendship and a marriage are all that similar on this front and I’d be curious to see Diane think about RBG/Scalia in the context of her potential partnership with Julius rather than her marriage.

RBG basically tells Diane to stay with Kurt. Diane thanks her, and then, back in reality, tells Kurt to take the NRA job so he’ll be happy—and then she’ll just sue him. Okay, that feels like an episode ending, so I am REALLY curious about all the re-writing and re-structuring that happened in this episode and what did/didn’t get touched. I can’t make up my mind about what feels out of place.

So we start out with Diane feeling like it might be the right thing to explore whether or not it still makes sense for her to be with Kurt, a suspected insurrectionist and future NRA employee, and Diane feeling like she wants to help her friends and partners at her mostly black firm do good in the world. And we end with Diane doubling down on her relationship with Kurt, giving her blessing for the NRA job, and fucking over her colleagues because she wants to keep her own power. Dark! I love it.  

This episode does this all without making Diane entirely unsympathetic, which is astounding. While I think Diane knowingly makes choices that further her self-interest over the values she (claims to?) hold and I am definitely NOT Team Diane on her decisions in this episode, this episode could easily have been less interesting and complex. It’s understandable that Diane would not want to step aside from a firm she’s helped build—who would? It’s understandable that Diane might not feel the passion for a black firm the way she does for a female firm. It’s understandable that Diane might not want to blow up her marriage, despite her political differences from Kurt. This episode allows Diane to be just sympathetic enough she never becomes a flat villain, but never sympathetic enough that someone could mistake this episode for one that shows Diane as a morally pure hero. Personally, I love that in a TV show. That’s the exact kind of writing that made me love Alicia Florrick enough that I still spend a considerable amount of time thinking about her character arc even though TGW ended half a decade ago. It’s what’s been missing from a lot of TGF episodes for me, and why I’ve said that TGF seems like a show more about theme than character. It’s why I’ve written—oh god, TEN THOUSAND words—about this episode.  

I have no clue what’s going to happen next, but I hope it includes more character-driven drama (ideally with a lot of good material for Liz) and not a lot of firm-jumping shenanigans.  

[stevesnailbat]

32 and 39 with steve

“the baby...it’s yours.” + “just go!”

summary: Steve’s girlfriend finds out she’s pregnant after an argument, and she’s afraid to tell him the truth.

warnings: a lot of angst, mentions of pregnancy

word count: 2.0K

a/n: i’m BACK!!!! i finished finals today and will be back to posting fics this week :) also i did a lot of research on 80’s pregnancy tests for this—they’re nothing like what they are now so if you’re curious, here’s what they looked like

Buying a pregnancy test at eighteen years old was something no girl really wanted to go through. But missed periods and too many early-morning runs to the bathroom warranted that horror.

The closest store that sold pregnancy tests was Melvald’s, but she really didn’t want to go there. Hawkins was a small town, everyone and their mother would find out if she bought the test from there. She knew that she’d have to go out of town if she wanted to be discreet about it, but it seemed out of the cards in the moment.

Another wave of morning sickness had rolled around for the third day in a row, and she knew it was time to find out for sure. She skipped school on that Wednesday to make sure she ran into the least amount of people possible. It seemed like a death mission honestly, all she wanted was to avoid everyone in the godforsaken town, but she knew someone would find her.

She was sure she looked like a wreck when she walked into Melvald’s. It was empty besides two people at the front of the store, who she didn’t even bother looking up at. As soon as she spotted the not-so discreet box on the shelf, she snatched it hastily and made her way up to the front. Her heart sunk to her stomach when she looked up to see Joyce standing behind the counter as Chief Hopper spoke to her on the other side.

Joyce stopped listening to whatever Hop was saying as she saw Y/N, her halfway-amused expression falling to one filled with concern. Hopper whipped around to see what she was holding and did the same, frowning down at her. They knew who’s child it would be, they knew they were on the rocks, they knew she was scared to even tell him.

They didn’t say much as she checked out, only a few small words of encouragement and comfort from Joyce filled the silence. She felt like she’d let them down, they had grown to be like parents to her during the hell that they’d all been through. She asked them to not tell anyone, not yet at least. She knew they wouldn’t, but she wanted to be sure that nobody would find out unless she wanted them to.

—

If nothing showed up on the stick, it meant negative. If it turned blue, it meant positive. She read the instructions at least twenty times in the thirty minute period that it took for the test to develop. There was something in the back of her mind that was telling her the whole time what the answer was, but she wanted to be sure.

Blue is positive.

She sat there with a blue-tinged stick in her hand for what seemed like an hour. She was in disbelief, she couldn’t believe what she was actually seeing. It was all settling in when there was a knock on the front door. She couldn’t bring herself to answer it, she was numb and in shock and her mind was going a hundred miles a minute.

In the day that she had been gone from school, she’d thought about Steve a lot. She knew she couldn’t call him, though. Three nights before, they had argued about where they’d go after her senior year and the bickering went to a new level. He had told her that he didn’t want to leave Hawkins and she had told him he needed to turn the page, striking a nerve. That night ended in her storming out of the house after he sent some backhanded comments in her direction to retaliate, they stuck her a little too deep that time for some reason. They were both too stubborn to admit when they were wrong, which usually ended in a short period of time without calling each other on the phone to apologize. Usually after a day of not talking, she’d end up back at Family Video after school with a bag of greasy food as a peace offering, but this time was different.

Steve had thought about his girlfriend all day and grew worried about her once 3 PM rolled around on the second full day of no contact. She didn’t show up to his work and it gave him an uneasy feeling in his stomach, like it wasn’t just the argument that was stopping her from visiting him. After his shift ended, he bolted to her house. His knock on the door went unanswered, but her car was in the driveway. He knew she’d give him shit for invading her privacy later, but he let himself in anyways. He needed to make sure she was okay, he needed reassurance that his gut feeling was hopefully wrong.

The knock on the bathroom door was what finally brought her back to reality, making her jump at the sound.

“Hey, it’s me.” Steve called out from the other side of the door. “Can I come in?”

“No! I mean—Just wait out there.” she said, panic rushing through her as she frantically cleaned up the mess of the pregnancy test, which wasn’t really an easy task with all of the liquids and mess that the box came with.

She shoved the positive stick into the front pocket of her sweatshirt, glancing at herself in the mirror before reaching for the door handle to make sure she didn’t look to god awful. Steve stood on the other side and watched as she cracked the door open enough to see her face, he frowned at the sight of her tear-stained cheeks. He tried to push the door open a little more as she finally locked eyes with him, but she wouldn’t let him.

“Why are you here?” she snapped, realizing she had sounded a little more harsh than she had meant to when he flinched slightly in response. “Well, why’d you break into my house, actually?”

“I was worried about you, Y/N.” he said genuinely, reaching to touch her hand as it rested on the door frame. “Can we talk? Somewhere outside of the bathroom, preferably?”

“I’m fine, Steve. I’m just not feeling good today.” she lied, shrugging her shoulders as she ignored his request. “You can go, I don’t want you to get sick.”

“I haven’t seen you in two days, Y/N. I can help you, what do you need?” Steve offered, he sounded desperate for her attention now. “I can make you some soup, we can lay in bed all day. I’m—I’m sorry I was such an ass, I shouldn’t have said those things—“

“Steve, stop.” she said as she felt her lip begin to quiver, she bit the inside of her cheek to hold back her tears. “I don’t need help. I just want to sleep, okay?”

“Please, baby.” Steve begged, finally able to push the door open a little to get closer to her. “I’m sorry and I love you, I don’t deserve you. But I want to make this better, alright?”

“Steve, please.” she replied, he shook his head in protest as she held a hand out to block him from getting closer. “Just go! We—We can talk about this another time."

“No! I’m not leaving until you tell me what’s wrong.” he proclaimed, watching as she shoved her hands into her sweatshirt pocket—little did he know, his world was about to be turned upside down by what was inside. “Is this about me not wanting to move? Because if it is, I—I’ll move anywhere, Y/N. I’ll move to another state, another country, across the world if I get to be with you. I was being selfish that night and I’m sorry. Please, can we just talk about this?"

She didn’t want to tell him, she really didn’t. She just wanted him to leave, he didn’t deserve the burden of a child right now. But, he was desperate for answers, and desperate Steve was stubborn as hell. She felt his hands reach to cup her cheeks gently, but she couldn’t bring herself to stop him. He looked too sad for her to push him away again too, it looked like he was on the verge of tears too. He was telling himself that this was the end, and it was tearing his heart out piece by piece with every second that passed.

A breath hitched in her throat as she gripped the stick in her hand, hesitantly pulling it out of her pocket. She stared down at it for a moment before Steve even noticed it. Carefully she watched as Steve’s face changed from sad to shocked to confused in the span of three seconds, and her heart dropped as he pulled his hands away from her slowly. His brows knitted together as he reached for the blue-tinged stick, still trying to process what she was showing him.

“You—You’re pregnant?” he questioned, finally looking up at her to see the tears that had started streaming down her face.

“Y—Yeah.” she said in a voice barely above a whisper. “The baby…it’s yours. O—Obviously."

He didn’t say anything for a moment, only leaning against the vanity as he fully took in the situation. Steve muttered ‘fuck’ under his breath as he stared down at the blue, shaking his head. If her heart hadn’t been broken before, it was now for sure. His reaction was what she had expected, but it didn’t mean it hurt any less. She hadn’t cried more than a few tears about the situation before then, but the fact that he wasn’t saying anything to her made her break.

A sob wracked her body as she leaned against the wall behind him, sliding down it to curl herself into a ball on the floor. The cry broke Steve from his daze and he was next to her in an instant. He hadn’t really meant to react the way that he did, but this was quite the opposite of what he’d expected out of coming to her house.

“No, no, please. Fuck, I’m sorry baby. Don't—don’t cry, please, I’m right here.” he assured her, sitting next to her so he could pull her into his lap.

“I’m sorry, I—I’m so sorry.” she whimpered, burying her head in the crook of his neck as his shirt muffled her sobs. “I—I’m ruining your life.”

“What are you talking about?” Steve questioned, but she didn’t reply. “Y/N, please look at me.” he pressed, coaxing her by running his fingers along her scalp gently. “You’re not ruining my life at all, alright? If anything, I should be sorry for not being here for you! But mistakes happen, and we’ve both made some recently, it’s okay though. Of course this changes things a little bit, but it doesn’t change the fact that I love you.”

“Y—You don’t want to leave me?” she asked innocently, the genuine surprise in her voice making his heart ache; she had really planned on doing this all on her own.

“Of course not, I could never leave you. I was so scared that you were leaving me, honestly. This was the last thing that I expected.” he chuckled quietly, smiling at her sweetly. “It’s okay though. It’ll be alright, okay? We’ll be alright, we’ll work through this and make sure this baby has the best life we can give it.”

She sniffled and nodded at his reassurance, her heart fluttering as he kissed her forehead softly. Steve smiled at her once more before sliding one of his hands along her stomach, caressing it gently as he finally came to terms with the whole situation. He knew he wouldn’t feel anything as he touched her stomach, but the thought of his own child in there was enough to make his heart swell.

“Does anyone else know yet?” he asked, rubbing gentle circles with his thumb on her hip.

“Well, I bought the test from Melvald’s, Joyce was working and Hopper was there too. So they know, but nobody else.” she sighed, resting her head against his chest once more. “But, y’know, I don’t think Dustin or any of the kids are gonna be too happy about this.”

“Why’s that?” Steve hummed.

“Because they’ll have even more competitors for your attention.” she giggled softly, Steve laughed in reply.

“I’m sure they’ll get over it.” he said with a smile, pressing a kiss to her forehead.

tags: @sourapplebaby @harringtown @jxnehxpper @a-magey @queenofthehairharrington @charmed-asylum @igotmadskills @daddystevee @heart-eye-harrington @lemonypink

[jpegjade]

Smile for the Camera - Spencer

it’s 2 days late but i havE A NEW FIC! i don’t really know what else to say this time so yeah here you go!

gender: not mentioned/neutral

type: fluff

warnings: none

______

You hoped you weren’t going to be late. There was an accident on the highway when you were on your way over to Rossi’s house and you kept praying to whatever was out there for you to make it on time. 

Pulling up to the driveway, you saw lights on in the house but the blinds were closed. so you couldn't tell if anything was happening. You heaved a big sigh and grabbed your camera bag. 

“Here we go.” You said to yourself. 

It was always a big production to go to weddings, no matter how small they are. Weddings were draining in the best ways. You loved seeing people in love but it was hard with how little was going in your life sometimes. 

You got a text from Will that read, ’Just walk straight to the backyard when you get here. That’s where we will do the ceremony.’ 

You quietly walked to the back gate and gasped. The decorations were simple but beautiful. String lights, candles, lightly decorated chairs. You felt the urge to cry coming on but you held back. You had a job to do while everyone was gone at the end of the night, then you could cry out of happiness. 

Click. One picture down. Click click. More photos loaded as you got shots in. This was the most calming moment, when there was no one around and you got to be by yourself and get your jitters out. The sound of the camera shutter was so loud in your head but so quiet when you worked. 

“Well look who it is!” A southern New Orleans accent drawled from behind you as you wrapped up shooting. 

“Wil!” You turned, opening your arms to hug your best friend’s fiance. 

You and Will had always been reasonably close because of your bonds with JJ. You didn’t meet the people in her life often but you heard stories and when Will officially came into the picture, you were in love with his chemistry with JJ. You knew this day would happen, especially after Henry, it was only a matter of time.

“Are you ready, big guy?” You asked, taking in his dapper appearance. 

He looked so nice that you knew JJ was going to cry when she saw him. Hell, you were going to cry when you see her and you get to see her before everyone else. Let’s face it… You were just going to cry over everything. Everything was cry-worthy because you knew it was all done in love. Everything here was about love.

“No. I mean yes, I get to call her my wife but I have been practicing my vows for an hour and I still don’t know what to say.” Will chucked as you smiled with him. 

“I think you’ve got it.” You comforted him. 

You were about to say something when someone yelled about JJ pulling up in the driveway. This was Will’s cue to greet JJ at the door with Henry. They arrived in separate cars so Will could get the surprise together but the ruse was that Will was picking up a specific wine as a gift to Rossi since it was his party and you always bring the party host wine. It was a ruse because in reality, Will got to Rossi’s place early to make sure that everything was up and running as smoothly as possible. 

Suddenly, a group of people came walking out of the backdoor. You started taking photos of them coming out as if they were the bridal party, the bridesmaids and groomsmen who stand on the altar with the couple, but you knew they were the guests. 

The first guy out of the door winked at you, causing you to feel your face get hot. Whenever people gave themselves attention through the camera, you felt like it was attention towards you because you were the person behind the camera. You often had to remind yourself that it’s all for the camera, not you. 

“Hey, y/n!” Emily called as she grew closer to you. She was right behind the guy so you didn’t see her until she was standing right in front of you.

“You look really nice.” You said, taking a picture of Emily. She looked slightly bashful at the sight of the camera on her but she went with it anyway. 

You met Emily before at a dinner party that JJ invited you to. Emily, JJ, and Penelope sat around JJ’s kitchen table drinking wine and JJ invited you over because she knew you could use the break to chit chat and be with people without being under pressure to mingle and make business connections like at weddings. You always thought she was a bit brash but you also appreciated how straight-forward Emily always was. 

“Thank you. Are you going to photograph the wedding?” Emily asked as you walked to the middle of the aisle together. Emily was on her way to talk to someone else in the yard and you were waiting for JJ, Will and Henry to come out the back door. 

“Yeah. Will asked me to do it. “ You smiled. 

“I know you’ll do great. You always do.” Emily was genuinely complimenting you and it was your turn to be bashful. 

Being a friend of JJ, she always had you take their family photos so she could post them to Facebook and frame them. Emily obviously saw your photos, along with JJ’s many friends and family, so she kept up with you. 

Emily walked to her seat while you noticed Rossi and JJ’s mother walking to the back door. You followed at a distance, your longest distance lens ready to capture JJ’s face. All you could see was mouths moving but you kept the camera going until it hit her. click click click clickˆ. There was the recognition on JJ’s face about what was happening. 

“Y/n!” JJ noticed you behind Rossi, who you knew as the rich older guy whose house hosted many dinner nights that you were often invited to but you were too busy with weddings and other events on the weekends to go. It was nice to actually attend for once. 

“JJ!” You said, a big smile spreading on your face. 

You can JJ hugged before her mom ushered the two of you off to a room. 

“You knew?” JJ asked as you got pictures of her and her mom getting her dressed in that gorgeous gown. 

It fit her so nicely that it was almost like it was made for JJ… Little did she know that you had a hand in making sure it was fitted to her perfectly leading up to the wedding. It was a challenge but you were able to figure out her measurements through compiling a series of images, some of her clothes, and a special 3D rendering program that Penelope helped program. It sounds easy but it was incredibly difficult to put together in a short amount of time to ensure that the dress was going to be a perfect fit.

“Kinda. It was a last minute thing, which gave me no time to spoil it.” You weren’t the best at secrets but you were by far better than Penelope. You learned that pretty soon after you met her for the first time. 

“Well, I’m glad you’re here. I wouldn’t want to be here without you.” JJ said, her mom zipping her up finally. 

You gave the two of them time alone while you went and looked for a good place to set up. You could feel the tears coming on as you closed the door to the bedroom but you took a deep breath. It was a happy day and you were just feeling overwhelmed. Weddings could be stressful and a lot to handle a lot of the time but they made you happy at the end of the day. 

As you stood in the front row, waiting for JJ to walk down the aisle, you noticed a boy out of the corner of your eye, just talking to Emily. He glanced over at you for a moment, fixing his hair, before focusing on Emily again. You wondered if he worked with JJ… 

The ceremony came and went. From JJ’s gorgeous dress under the stars to Henry and WIll looking nice and the photos of the first kiss, you couldn’t stop crying between shots. It was hard to see but thank the lord for autofocus because you wouldn’t be able to nail the manual focus through your tears. You had never seen her so happy, other than when you saw her in the hospital holding Henry for the first time, so this was an amazing occasion. You missed being a guest for a special moment like this but you would be sobbing if you weren’t doing a job. 

As JJ, Will and Henry walked inside for a little bit for a private moment after the ceremony, you were left outside by yourself as everyone started to mingle. Out of sheer anxiety, you flipped through your preview screen with all of your shots on your camera. With JJ inside, Penelope at the snack table, and Emily dancing with a tall, commanding man with dark hair, you were left not knowing anyone. 

You decided to go sit down at a table and take a break when you heard Henry’s laugh. Looking up, you noticed the cute guy doing magic tricks with Henry over by the table. You couldn’t help but stare at the two of them, a pang in your heart. 

With all of your friends getting married or engaged, you found yourself getting lonlier. They were all pairing off and getting on with their lives while you were committed to your job. That was perfectly fine but your photos couldn’t talk back to you when you were alone at night, needing an emotional connection. 

Click. Click. Click. You took more shots of Henry smiling from afar, pausing to look at the previews, before you went inside to get something to drink. If anyone needed a shot right now, it was you.

Two shots in, you heard a door closing behind you. 

“You should say hi to him.” JJ said, smiling. 

Instinctively, she was playing with her wedding ring. It was a foreign object on her hand so of course she would play with it between her fingers. 

“I should not do that. I’m here to work.” You smiled back. 

The smile was a little bit forced because you had this conversation with JJ before. You see a cute person and JJ encourages you to go for it. You shoot her down and tell her all the reasons it wouldn’t work out. The two of you laugh about it and move on. 

“Spence is a nice guy.” JJ chuckled, looking out to the backyard. 

“His name is Spence?” You asked, raising an eyebrow. 

“Spencer Reid is his name.” JJ corrected. “But I’ve always called him Spence when no one would give him a nickname when he first got to the BAU.” 

“Oh, that’s cute.” You said, distractedly. 

Looking over at Spencer, he was still playing with Henry. Another magic trick that piqued your interest as you tried to see how he did it. He was just too smooth because you couldn’t see the switcheroo moment. 

“Go, talk to him! Take a break for a little bit. You’ve been working this entire time and I know the shots aren’t going to cure the lonely feeling.” JJ said, a soft smile on her face. 

You thought about it for a second, slowly feeling the effects of the shots flowing to your head. It wasn’t enough to knock you off balance but enough to loosen you up a little bit. 

“I just might.” You said, your resolve hitting you. 

JJ smiled at you as you went outside to where Spencer sat. One. Two. One. Two. You counted your steps, looking down at your feet as you felt the nerves threatening to come back up. Where was the confidence you felt a minute ago? You could do this. 

Just when you were about to open your mouth, Henry spotted you and came running up to hold your leg. 

“Y/N!” He yelled, looking up at you. 

In the second you paused to gain your balance and look down at Henry, you looked back up to see Spencer talking to the guy that winked at your camera in the beginning of the wedding. They seemed to be talking about something serious so you gave up and decided to dance with Henry. 

“Hey buddy, will you dance with me?” You asked Henry, who was still clinging to your leg. You took your camera from it’s resting place on your chest and placed it in your shoulder bag. 

Henry nodded his head and the two of you went out to the dance floor, him holding onto your hands and swaying off tempo. You were looking at Henry, who occasionally let go of your hand to push the hair out of his face, and sneaking glances at Spencer, who was starting to look deflated in his conversation. You wondered what he was talking about that made him deflate at a wedding. 

“Mind if I cut in?” Will’s voice shook you out of your wandering thoughts about Spencer. 

“Of course. I’m sure you guys should have a family dance.” You said, stepping away. 

“I wanted to dance with you, not him.” Will chuckled.

Henry ran over to his mom, who was at the snack table with Spencer, while you and will had a dance. You didn’t even notice Spencer get up and move. 

“This is beautiful.” You said, looking around. You noticed the air get a little chilly but you were still moving so it didn’t bother you. 

“It really came together in time.” Will chuckled, knowing how much of a hassle it was to pull everything together. 

“No thanks to you, of course.” You smiled. 

Over Will’s shoulder, you could see JJ and Spencer still talking. They looked so light and fun. You wondered what they were talking about. You couldn’t see JJ’s face but Spencer was looking up at the stars until he wasn’t. Suddenly, he was making eye contact with you. 

You felt your face grow hot as you looked away, Will’s voice calling you back from your thoughts. 

“You should go talk to him. You’ll enjoy his… Quirks.” Will chuckled, continuing to sway with you. 

“Quirks, huh? He’s that bad? Maybe I shouldn’t go for it…” You said, thinking about how your previous experiences with guys with quirks landed you more single than an amoeba. 

“I think you would like him. He knows a lot about… Well everything.” He said as the song came to an end. 

“Well, I’ll see. I want to get more shots of you, JJ and Henry dancing together.” You said, grabbing your camera out of your shoulder bag and taking a few steps back to capture Will smiling. 

Click. Click. 

You checked the images and were satisfied enough to move on… Almost. 

“Can I borrow that?” Will asked, pointing to your camera. 

“For what?” You asked, genuinely curious what he could use it for at his own wedding when he literally paid you to take care of photos. 

“I want to show JJ how I see her, with the help of your camera.” Will said, dreamily as the two of you stared at JJ and Henry dancing together. 

“Okay… I don’t know what I’ll do now, though.” You nervously chuckled. 

It was a little bit deflating to give up your camera. You really wanted a reason to talk to Spencer and you typically used taking pictures of someone as an excuse to actually talk to them. Without your camera, how are you supposed to do that?

“Here, I’ll be your wingman.” Will nudged you before you could realize that Spencer was walking toward the two of you. 

Before you had time to react, Will put the camera up to his face and started taking pictures.

“This is harder than I expected…” Will muttered, watching you smile. 

“What’s hard?” Spencer asked, standing arms length away from you. 

The three of you stood in a triangle, staring at each other for a moment. You felt naked and defenseless against the situation without your camera. Will was trying to understand it before he went over to JJ. 

“You know, the first photo of a person was an accident. So by taking pictures of me, you’re doing more than the first technical portrait photographer was doing, in terms of effort and intention. The art of photography really is a numbers game, if you think about it. Along the x and y-axis, you’re attempting to capture a moment of time on a plane of existence that is completely irrelevant to the numbers related to the…” 

“Spence.” JJ said, seemingly coming out of nowhere. She smiled and shook her head as if the two of them went through that routine normally. 

“Related to the plane of imagery.” You mumbled, knowing you heard that from somewhere but not sure where. 

Will, JJ, and Spencer all heard you finish Spencer’s sentence, although it was natural. 

“You listened to my ted talk.” Spencer said, smiling. 

“That was you?” You asked, meeting Spencer’s eyes. They looked so pretty up close, when the light hit them a certain way. 

“Yes! It was supposed to be a regular lecture but they were trying a new format and wanted to know if I would be willing to do it that way. I didn’t mind but it was hard to…” Spencer trailed off when he looked over at JJ. 

“Will, I think we should let them work out the logistics of...cameras… While you and I hang out with Henry. The night seems to be winding down. I think there’s one song left before Rossi kicks us out.” JJ chuckled. 

Spencer shifted on his feet as JJ, Will, and your camera went to the dance floor, where Henry was talking to Emily. 

“Your name is Spencer, right?” You asked, rocking on the heels of your shoes. 

“Dr. Spencer Reid.” He said, looking at you with a small smile.

“Oh. You’re a doctor…” You said, trying to figure out how old he was. 

“I’m not that old, no. I was accelerated in my learning as a child so I finished everything earlier than expected.” He said, seemingly reading into what you were thinking. 

There was an awkward silence that fell between the two of you. You wanted to fill it so badly but you didn’t want to actually think about what to fill it with. You spent yet another night pining over a boy who wasn’t going to have any interest in you, just like every other wedding you go to. 

“So… How about those stars…” You chuckled. 

“Do you think… Maybe... Would you be interested in dancing with me?” Spencer was stumbling over his words as the last song of the night came on through the speakers. One of your favorite songs…

“Finally.” You breathed out before realizing what you said. “I mean yes, I would love to dance with you.” 

Leading you out to the empty makeshift dance floor, the music played softly in the background as Spencer slipped his hand around your waist. 

“Garcia said you would be someone nice to know.” Spencer said, swaying with you. 

“I beg to differ but I guess I shouldn’t say those things to cute boys.” 

It was different from dancing with Will. Dancing with Will was wasting time, just doing something to do it. Dancing with Spencer had a little purpose. The last song of the night wasn’t even slow but you and Spencer were the last ones on the dancefloor, just swaying in tune with one another. It was relaxing, if not excessively calming. 

“You think I’m cute?” Spencer asked, his eyebrows furrowing. 

“You don’t?” You followed up, genuinely confused at how he didn’t see it. 

“Well the term ‘cute’ cannot be scientifically described although the golden ratio is believed to…” Spencer squinted at something past your head, causing you to turn around. 

Behind the glassdoor of the house was the BAU, watching you and Spencer dance. As soon as they realized you were turning around, they all pretended to be talking to one another. It was a pretty bad attempt. 

“Do they always watch you do stuff like this?” You turned back to Spencer and he solemnly nodded. 

“That’s weird.” You said, glancing over your shoulder again. 

Half of the team was giving Spencer a thumbs up, including JJ. 

“What if we got out of here?” Spencer said, looking down at you. 

“Hmm?” You asked, looking at his eyes. You noticed they were warm and inviting, soft even. 

“You and I could get out of here. Get coffee, maybe?” He smiled slightly. It looked a little forced but that could be because he was nervous. 

“RIght now?” You asked, lifting your arm as he slowly spun you around. 

“RIght now. If that’s okay with you. If not, that’s fine. I get it. It’s like…” Spencer was still going when you cut him off. 

“Let’s get out of here.” You said, “I don’t want the night to end with a last dance like this.”

[omg-just-peachy]

timing is everything

now that reveals are posted, i can share the fic i wrote for the @winteriron-winter-stockings event! 

this was for the prompt “trying to adopt the same cat/dog.” fluff, meet cute (meet ugly?), ~1.2k words

read on ao3

****

“What do you mean she’s spoken for? ” A man’s loud, angry voice floats over to where Bucky waits at the animal shelter.

“As I said yesterday, sir, it’s not like we can put a hold on the animals. If someone comes in willing to adopt, we have to let them.” The receptionist remains patient, though her tone is noticeably more clipped now, Bucky can’t help but notice.

“I just… had to make sure the house was ready!” The man sounds truly dejected now, and Bucky shakes his head. On one hand, Bucky feels for the guy, having just adopted a cat himself, but on the other, he’d never throw the tantrum this guy is currently indulging in.

He pokes a finger through the opening of the cat carrier, petting the white, blue-eyed cat inside as he listens and waits. Bucky just has to wait for the volunteer to bring him into the back office to fill out some paperwork before she was really and truly his.  

At the encouragement of Natasha and Sam, who insisted that having something to take care of, something to love that wasn’t the two of them, would be good for him as he adjusted back to life after the army, he’d visited the shelter a few times. All of the animals were cute, each with their little personalities and backstories, some too horrible and sad for Bucky to want to dwell on for too long.

But as cute as they all were, none had really spoken to him the way this one had. Alpine, the name tag on her enclosure told him, was a three year-old female who loved to play, but would be just as content to curl up and nap in your lap. As he’d read the little slip of paper, she seemed to study him, her eyes boring into Bucky’s with a knowing intensity. Without a second thought he’d ask to “meet” her in one of the little cubicle rooms off to the side, and that had been it.

Bucky had told Sam time and time again that love at first sight wasn’t and could not be real, but he’s starting to wonder if that only applied to humans, because he’d almost certainly loved Alpine from the very first glance.

Finally, Beth, the volunteer from earlier, comes and leads him into the back. It’s a small, cramped office space with just enough room for the ancient looking desk and chair, and for Bucky to place Alpine’s carrier on the floor by his feet.

“So, I’ll just need you to review these, and I’ll walk you through her medical history, when she’ll need shots, all of that, and then you’ll be good to go. Have you had a cat before?” Beth shoots him a bright smile, one that shows Bucky just how much she probably loves this job, sending formerly abandoned pets to good homes. He smiles back, hopes to convey just how hard he’ll try to give her a comfortable, warm life, even if it is just in his small, one-bedroom apartment in Red Hook.

“I haven’t,” Bucky admits. “But I’ve been reading a lot.”

Beth gives him another supportive smile. “There’s plenty of resources on our website, but I have a feeling you two will be great together.”

Twenty minutes later, Bucky returns to the front of the shelter, Alpine’s carrier in hand. There’s a man standing out front of the rows of crates, looking a little forlornly in at them. He’s well dressed, almost too well-dressed for an animal shelter late on a Saturday morning. Seriously, who wears a suite to adopt a cat? But he’s handsome enough, his brown eyes big and contemplative, his dark hair shining with product, that Bucky doesn’t dwell on his attire for too long.

He’s about to move towards the door when the man clocks him, and, apparently, Alpine, and his face seems to crumple.

“You adopted Alpine?” He asks, and Bucky realizes from his voice that it’s the same angry man he’d heard earlier.

“Um,” Bucky says, “yes. My friends thought I needed a distraction after my tours ended, and she’s… perfect.”

The man nods, seems to know exactly what Bucky means. “She is. I came in and met her yesterday. But when I came back for her today they let me know she was spoken for.”

Alpine was the cat that had him so upset? Bucky feels bad, suddenly, imagining himself in this guy’s shoes, Alpine lost to someone else because he was too late. He hates the thought of it.

“I, uh, heard you earlier, actually,” Bucky admits. “I’m sorry, I didn’t…” Didn’t what? Even if he had known, would he really have been willing to hand Alpine off to someone else? No .

“It’s fine,” the man tells him. “Snooze you lose and all that. How many times have I told my clients that over the years?”

“Uh, clients?” Bucky asks.

“Oh, yeah, I consult on corporate mergers and acquisitions,” Tony says with a wave of his hand. It explained the suit if nothing else. “Kinda like your friends, my assistant insists I need something to distract me. Apparently I’m a workaholic,” the guy continues, running a hand through his hair. “Caring for something other than myself will make me a changed man,” he quips.

“Oh,” Bucky says, trying to think of something better to say. He’s strangely…entranced by him, his easy way of speaking, like he’s relieved to finally be confessing something; the hand in his hair, pulling through product to reveal chaotic curls; the big, expressive brown eyes… Bucky has to blink a few times, clearing his head. He doesn’t even know this person. He should wish him good luck with adopting a pet who wasn’t Alpine, and be on his way.

Instead, what he says is: “Well, maybe you could… I don’t know, visit her.”

Seriously, what had gotten into him?

The man frowns at him, like he’d just grown a second head without noticing. “Visit her,” he repeats. “You don’t even know me.”

Bucky thinks about this. “Well, no, not yet. I’m James,” he says, holding out his hand. “But my friends call me Bucky.”

“Well, James-call-me-Bucky, I’m Tony. Tony Stark. My friends call me Tony,” he smirks, taking Bucky’s hand in his.

“Nice to meet you, Tony,” Bucky says. He knows their handshake is stretching on for way too long now, but neither of them lets go. “Well, if you meant it, I’d love to visit. Any friend of Alpine’s is a friend of mine,” he says, and winks. The action should be ridiculous, who actually winks at someone they just met, after all, but Bucky feels something in his stomach flutter, and he laughs.

“Right,” he says. “Well…”

“Here’s my card,” Tony says, holding out a thick, embossed maroon business card and pressing it into Bucky’s palm. “Give me a call anytime.”

“I will,” Bucky nods. “Sorry again,” he adds, gesturing to Alpine.

“I’m sure someday I’ll forgive you,” Tony says, his voice lighter now, teasing. “Though, I don’t think today was a total loss,” he says meaningfully.

Bucky laughs again, a choked, nervous sound, and stutters out a goodbye to Tony Stark before heading out the door and into the warm afternoon air.

Once he gets Alpine situated in the car, he pulls out his phone, and Tony’s business card, and texts him before he can talk himself out of it.

Hi Tony, it’s Bucky (and Alpine) If you’re free tomorrow, maybe we can grab coffee?

Heart pounding, he places his phone in the center console, ready to wait hours for a reply, but before Bucky can do as much as start the car, his phone lights up.

It’s a date. ;)