#and I want to make it clear: this was a personal matter--I feel terrible blocking them as is but I just couldn't handle the mental-- | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

theladyragnell · 2 months

Note

Exchanging gifts for the first time: E/R

(This one Fought Me for no reason I can discern, but hopefully it does the trick!)

It’s taken them several years to invent what Joly dramatically calls The Birthday Party, with the capital letters every time even though he’s a slow texter anyway. Five of them have birthdays in the baking-hot months of June and July, and there was a year or two full of bar crawls and restaurant meals and rooftop parties where they all reached August exhausted and a little sick of each other’s company, so when Jehan, whose birthday is last in the sequence, suggested they just have a joint party in July, everyone was relieved to agree.

And then everybody wanted to give gifts and it felt weird for half of them to be opening gifts and the other half not, and then they all looked at each other at their half-hearted Christmas gathering, a holiday none of them feels quite easy celebrating, and then The Birthday Party became what it is, a chance for everyone to pass things around. Nobody gets special gifts for everyone, with that many to buy, but they pass around fancy chocolate bars and bottles of craft cider and handmade cards and it’s good. It’s better than awkward parties focused around one person.

Grantaire loves The Birthday Party. It’s one of his favorite nights of the year, and he spends the weeks before it closeted in his apartment, soberer and happier than he usually is, making matched sets of little paintings of the Musain or caricatures of everyone or handcarved soap dishes.

It’s just that this year, he and Enjolras are dating.

He’s very happy about that, to be clear, happy enough that he feels a little drugged most days, happy enough to embarrass himself if he examines it too closely, but it means he doesn’t have to restrain his foolish desires to give Enjolras lavish personal gifts anymore, and the consequence of that is that he no longer has any ideas for lavish personal gifts.

And Enjolras won’t care about that, obviously he won’t. Enjolras’s gift to The Birthday Party every year is a pot of something delicious to eat and a handwritten card each about how much he loves them, something Grantaire was unable to deal with when the notes for him were grudging and doesn’t know how he’s going to deal with now that they’re sincere. Enjolras doesn’t care about gifts and lives in a tragically spartan apartment largely because he’s too lazy to hang anything, and Grantaire isn’t expecting anything out of the ordinary at The Birthday Party except maybe a kiss.

But he still wants to, and his friends are not helpful when he tries to subtly ask them what to do, so he finally caves in, makes a terrible choice, and asks Enjolras.

“I could tell you what I’m giving you,” Enjolras suggests in a meditative tone, propping his chin up on his hands where he’s laying on his stomach in Grantaire’s bed. Grantaire gets the urge to paint him in lush oils, but he gets that urge at least once a day, so it’s pretty easy to ignore. “If that would be easier.”

Grantaire doesn’t particularly care about surprises, but he has his pride. “Don’t do that, that’s one of those things that nobody says is bad luck but which really ought to be bad luck. Shaking one’s presents, of course, is a time-honored tradition, but hearing what they are from the giver? Unthinkable.”

“I’ll like anything,” says Enjolras. “It doesn’t matter to me what you give me, or if you give me anything at all. I’ll still be here.” And then, after some silence and one of his penetrating stares, “I made yours.”

“Noted, I’ll leave the diamonds at home and will only do a string of pearls if I dive for them myself.”

Enjolras rolls his eyes and encourages Grantaire to go to sleep, but it does, much as Grantaire hates to admit it, help.

He doesn’t wake the next morning overcome with inspiration, but he finds his way to it, taking time away from his gifts for everyone else to work on Enjolras’s.

The Birthday Party is as rowdy as ever, when it comes. Grantaire’s block prints impress everyone, and Enjolras’s curry is, as ever, delicious. As the night starts breaking apart, people admitting they have to go home, the more personal gifts come out, the ones they all put off so nobody feels left out or pressured. Grantaire, who finds sharing his feelings with Enjolras more embarrassing now that they’re reciprocated than he did before, waits until Enjolras is finished with Combeferre and Courfeyrac, until Joly has draped a new scarf far too hot for the season around Grantaire’s shoulders, to take Enjolras aside.

“You settled on something,” Enjolras says, and smiles.

Grantaire, flustered more than he cares to admit that he is by the smile and the situation and his stupid idea, produces the envelope that’s been weighting down his pocket all day, four pages densely written in his horrible handwriting that alternates between crabbed and flourishing, his own version of Enjolras’s yearly letters, only he’s never said in one paragraph what he could say in twenty. “I’ll do better next year, when I’m less nervous, but I thought—people give gifts they’d appreciate themselves, right? So this is me trying that out.”

Enjolras takes the envelope and opens it, breaking the wax seal Grantaire put on because he does have some standards, and only makes it a sentence or two again before he stops, which is good, because Grantaire might combust if he’s forced to watch Enjolras read that letter. “I do appreciate it, and I’ll read it when I won’t embarrass both of us,” he says, and produces a small package. “And we had the same thought, I think.”

Inside the package, of course, is a small canvas, maybe ten centimeters on a side if Grantaire were to care to measure it, with a very careful painting of Grantaire’s couch painted on it, every bit as earnest and every bit as unskilled as Grantaire’s letter. “Definitely the same thought,” says Grantaire, and has to swallow several times before he can say anything else. Even then, he has to seize on poor Feuilly as he walks by, knowing Enjolras will have something for him to give them both a break.

They both go back to Grantaire’s apartment when The Birthday Party is over and Grantaire puts his new canvas in pride of place next to his bed while Enjolras is brushing his teeth and then falls asleep before Enjolras ever makes it to bed.

When he wakes up in the morning, Enjolras is still in bed, a rare late morning, with all the pages of Grantaire’s letter arrayed on his lap and his stupidly beautiful nose a little red with leftover tears. “I love you too,” he says when he sees Grantaire is awake.

Grantaire didn’t write the words in the letter, they felt too soon, but of course Enjolras knew what he meant. He’s made a study of getting to the heart of Grantaire’s torrents of words. “I love you,” he says, belated but no less true, and lets Enjolras carefully fold the pages of the letter up and put them to the side before he presses him back into the pillows.

#answered asks #impetusofadream #sometimes i write stories #emotionally constipated revolutionaries

56 notes · View notes

deathsmallcaps · 1 year

Text

Casual reminder that being queer does not preclude you from repeating racist, xenophobic, conservative and just down right inappropriate shit, or from being a terrible hypocrite. I don’t want to out this person, so I covered their name. but I spotted a bad take, went to investigate and block, and saw these two posts right above and below each other.

This person, with a bi flag as part of their avatar, reblogged a fairly popular post about how the term ‘pedophile’ is weapon used against queer people. Right after reblogging a post about the troubles in Libya right now and adding a comment about how they can’t feel sorry for a country with bad child marriage laws.

As if such a statement wasn’t heartless and hypocritically unaware. As if such a statement didn’t also write off all the people that they’re supposedly arguing for (the women and children affected by those laws). As if derailing a post about the deaths of thousands from the collapse of a dam during a drought was in any way appropriate.

Warning for mentions of pedophilia, and xenophobic and Anti-Libyan comments. The photos below will be followed by image descriptions.

Image Description One: A tumblr post from December 10, 2017 by Robotlyra. The original post says: If "grooming an underage person" becomes the new go-to accusation that gets trotted out any and every time an adult makes any mention of sexual topics in the presence of a person under the age of 18, I wonder if it will eventually become functionally impossible for any adult in a position of authority to act as an educational reference for sexual health matters.

It is then followed by a reblog from Robotlyra, the original poster, on December 14 2022. It says: I was going back through my tumblr archives and found this post from five years ago and now I need a drink.

End image description One

Image description two: a picture just to prove that that the post in the previous screenshot is connected to the post in the next image. It shows parts of both posts.

End image description two

Image Description Three: a post by Unhonestlymirror from September 15, 2023. It is a screenshot of a tweet by Lyla_lilas, and contains both text and an image of a man wiping tears from his eyes. The text reads: A Libyan journalist cried live on television before declaring: "The world has abandoned us."

As a reminder: a new report shows at least 11,300 deaths in the country.

#PrayForLibya #Lybia

End Image Description Three

Image Description Four

A screenshot of a September 16 reblog with a comment, with part of the previous image’s tweet visible to make it clear this was a reblogged comment. The text reads: Ima be real. I struggle to feel bad for a country that has no issues with child marriage (as long as it is arranged by the parents/father, which it always is anyways)

And the age of consent is “Must be married”.

Oh and if rape is acknowledged, the woman (or girl) is kicked out and out in a “social welfare” home.

So I apologise if I struggle to cry about a country filled with pedophiles.

End image description Four

#I’m pissed about this one

163 notes · View notes

bijoutarot · 1 year

Text

Your Lover’s Hidden Feelings 🌹

Pick An Image

Image 1

“I will wait for a sign from you”

A past lover is thinking about all the ways they should have appreciated you, cared for you, and listened to your needs. They feel that you have had enough of the games and the lies. Deep down inside if they were to say the right things to you you would be unsure how to proceed. You kind of want to talk about the matter without actually being the one to reach out. You feel like they should be the one saying something because they are the one who messed things up in the first place. This person is not only a former lover but a friend as well. Many of you started out as a friendship and then started hooking up. Now they feel like they lost both.

Image 2

“I know I messed everything up”

“You and I were too young”

Your lover is from a former relationship. This person might have been your high school sweetheart or someone that you dated in your teens. Unfortunately things did not work out between you two because they were still very immature. You were more mature than they were even though you guys were the same age when you met. Instead of letting you know the truth about the love triangle you found out in a harsh way. This broke your heart. They still feel terrible to this day because they know you have a good heart. This person regret their decisions but they blame it on their age. You might find this to be unacceptable because they are not taking accountability for their actions. They always had a problem with that. They always made excuses instead of being direct. You are now at a point in your life where you have guarded your freedom that comes with being single. You are abundant and not in a hurry to lock in with someone right away.

Image 3

“I am becoming a better person”

“I love you”

Your person is currently working a lot of long hours. They want to earn more money so they can give you the life you deserve. They see you as someone very precious and deserving of all the finer things in life. They have a business plan that will require a lot of hard work. You have not been seeming them as much as you like to but it is because they want to give you something special. They are saving money to make a big purchase. I see that they are working overtime and going in on their days that they normally be off. This is their season to grind while you will find more time relaxing. This person loves you so much it is clear they are willing to go the extra mile to impress you.

Image 4

“You were the best thing in my life”

Image 4, you have a past person that is running back to you. They miss you so much but they are afraid to contact you.they are longing to hear your voice, smell your signature fragrance, hold you in the middle of the night, and taste your cooking again. They love the way you prepare food, from the presentation down to the flavors and recipes. Life has been very sad without you. Their house is no longer a home since you blocked them. They miss having you in their environment. They do not look forward to coming home to an empty house. They want to make up with you and make it right. They want to take back the things that they said to you in the heat of the moment. Your person is seeking another chance. This isn’t the first, second, or third breakup but this time they are unsure where you stand.

Comment which reading resonated 💕

138 notes · View notes

kaisers-house-of-desires · 1 year

Note

I am still indecisive, but Gojo, Nananemi (I feel like the more I type his name, the more I misspell it), or Sukuna x husband reader and Yuji as their adopted son? Just some teeth rotting fluff from your local ace.

One loving family coming right up~!

Title: 2 + 1

Characters: Gojo Satoru x m!reader, Yuji Itadori

Contains: fluff <3, adoption

Fandom: Jujutsu Kaisen

Full request below the cut

All characters are 18+ (except Itadori bc...adoption)

MINORS, FEM ALIGNED, AGELESS/BLANK BLOGS DNI (This may not be smut, but I still want the above to be followed)

Reblogs > likes

"Satoru...let's have a child!"

Gojo choked on his coffee, practically coughing up a lung. "Wh-What?!"

"Let's...let's have a child!"

You had been pondering the idea for quite some time. You two had been together for awhile, and seeing so many happy couples with a child has given you a little bit of baby fever.

"I uh...a-are you sure? A kid is a...real big responsibility, y'know?"

"Yes! Yes I'm really sure! C'mon, Satoru!"

Gojo was silent, readjusting his sunglasses that he always insited on wearing as he sat back in the chair. "Well...First off, I'd be a terrible father--"

"Oh don't you start that--"

"I would! I mean, look at me! I can't even take care of myself!"

"Mhm...and that's why you double check whenever I order your food to make sure I get the right thing, or make sure I use the right detergent in washing your clothes."

"H-Hey! That doesn't mean anything!"

"It means that if you can be so vigilant on things you care about, you can be vigilant with a child!"

Gojo's cheeks puffed in a pout as he looked away from you, not liking how you made sense. "Hm...well...I at least want to think on it..."

Elated, you jumped from your seat on the couch and squeezed him into a hug. "Thank you, Satoru!!"

"H-Hey, easy! You're gonna spill my coffee!"

---

Now something like this didn't come quick or easy for that matter. You two had to have deep conversations about how this would work: how to organize a room for the child to have space, what foods to make, toys to get them, what rules there would be, etc. Not only that, but you two had to look deep into adoption agencies and see what their policies were and how to go about this.

It was mentally taxing, and at times, you two had to put it off for awhile, just to make sure it could be tackled with a clear head. After all, this was a massive decision, one that affected not only your lives, but the life of a child. You two began to wonder if it would even be possible until finally, after all your searching, an agency reached out to you, willing to take your case.

Now came the next step, home interviews, personal interviews, background checks, all the works, all the more strain that was going into it. Though Gojo assured you it would work out in the end, which meant a lot coming from him, as he was hesitant on this in the first place.

Still, you two persevered.

---

3 Years Later

"Satoru, I'm home!"

You sighed as you sat on the step inside the house, kicking your shoes off to allow your feet to rest after long hours at work. You were soon greated by small, thudding feet rapidly approaching you.

"Daddy! Daddy Daddy!"

A body barreled into you, and two arms tightly wrapped around yours, giving you a practical death squeeze. You couldn't help but chuckle at the small child, ruffling his hair.

"Heya, Yuji. How was your day today?"

Yuji straightened up, waving his arms up and down. "It was fun!! Papa and I played "Stack the Blocks"! We had to see how big we could make the towers! Papa lost at three blocks, and I beat him with five blocks!

"Oh really now?" You gave a playful grin as you stood up, picking up Yuji in the process. "What else did you and Papa do today?"

"Oh! I did Papa's hair! Wanna see?!"

From the other room you could hear Gojo object. "N-No no! Daddy doesn't need to see this, Yuji!"

"Come on, Papa! You look amazing!"

Before Gojo could object any further, you stepped into the living room. Your husband was sitting on the floor, his white hair pulled into very messy and tangled pigtails with an additional one on top of his head.

"...Yuji didn't want me taking them out so I couldn't," he huffed.

You couldn't hold back the giggle that slipped out, and you set Yuji down. "He looks wonderful, Yuji! You did a great job!"

"Heh. See, Papa? Daddy likes it! So you will too!"

Gojo grumbled something under his breath, but you could only chuckle as you rolled up your sleeves. "I'm gonna get started on dinner. Yuji? Can you make Papa extra cute for dinner tonight?"

"Mhm!"

Much to Gojo's dismay, you walked out of sight before he could bribe his way out of another hairstyling.

As you prepared dinner, a simple, happy thought crossed your mind:

I love this family.

#kaisers house of desires #x reader #x male reader #x male y/n #jujutsu kaisen #gojo satoru #jjk #jjk gojo #jjk x reader #gojo x reader #gojo x you #gojo x y/n #male reader

144 notes · View notes

pterodactylterrace · 5 months

Text

Okay. Let’s start unpacking, shall we?

Aemond: you feel bad he lost his eye and is now permanently disfigured and disabled. Because he claimed a dragon, and 4 other children took personal offense to it. As I have said before, THEY SHOULDN’T HAVE EVEN BEEN THERE. What were 4 children going to do if it was someone dangerous? Die? They never jump him, the whole thing never happens. When one party makes a clear mistake that caused something to happen, it tends to be their fault. They formed a mob and jumped another child over an imagined crime. Had they alerted the guard or stayed in bed, the whole thing would have been avoided. Also, Aemond only uses his “deadly weapon” after Jace whips out a knife. A knife he brought with him. He was planning for violence.

Daemon: killed his first wife, murdered and maimed hundreds of small folk without a trial, married his second wife of his own choice and still didn’t love her, fucked his niece at his wife’s funeral, groomed multiple young girls, almost beat a messenger to death and choked his third wife. That’s just season 1.

Rhaenyra: As I said before, NO ONE CARES THAT SHE HAD BASTARDS. We care that she put them in the succession, which is ILLEGAL. Pay attention when people talk. Literally no one cares she had kids with someone that wasn’t her husband. We care about the treason she pulled. We care about the constant lying. We care that she shows herself to be cruel to a recently maimed child. You really think the same woman that would suggest her younger brother be tortured wouldn’t have Cole gelded and beheaded if he told her father what she did? Ok, that’s a fantasy land. He owed his station directly to her choosing him. There was a huge power imbalance. We watch her continue stripping him while he stands frozen after telling her NO. That’s rape. It doesn’t matter that he eventually went along with it. She coerced him into doing it.

Aegon: We have a fragmented story of something that happened between him and the maid. It is assumed to be rape because Dyana drank moon tea. Her story is that she was getting him his wine, she put it in the table, and then she didn’t see him. She asked him to stop. It bugs me so much that people take this inference and decided Aegon did it, no questions asked, he is a terrible person, but what did Cole say again? Oh, Rhaenyra took his helmet to lure him into her chambers. Refused to give it back, blocked his exit when he tried to leave, ignored him when he says stop and then forces him to look at her. Switch the genders and it’s the exact same situation that happened with Aegon and Dyana, but we don’t see it happen. We watch Cole being assaulted, and people still want to sit there and say it was some romantic gesture. I’m sorry, but trying to leave and asking her to stop and not being able to look at her, is assault. He said “stop”, same thing Dyana said. But because the genders are reversed, Aegon is definitely guilty and evil (though we didn’t even see what happened) and Rhaenyra is just an innocent little thing that can do no wrong, even though we watch her sexually assault Cole.

Maybe we side with the green faction because we have the ability to understand words and shit? We can watch a scene and go “whoa, what was that?!” And realize that women are just as capable of being horrible people as men are? Just a thought.

#anti rhaenyra targaryen #anti team black #anti daemon targaryen #aemond targaryen #really Reddit?#hotd critical #hotd fandom

24 notes · View notes

trickstarbrave · 7 months

Text

"brave why are you writing fanfiction about a fanfiction again" shhhhhhhh stop asking questions

anyways. heres something i wrote for @wellthebardsdead's fic "fool's prayer"

i just. wanted to write nerevar giving in. and some smut that i know would follow it i dont actually know okay i'm making this up bc i think evil!voryn is hot

Nerevar knew he was in a dream again. He’d learned by now to pick up on the signs; the fuzzy feeling around the edges of his consciousness, and how the sensations of hot and cold seemed to come at random, sending shivers down his spine.

He stood up, walking to the front of his desk, sighing. Political documents that were laid out were still legible. Had Voryn been able to use his dreams to spy on the political state of Morrowind? He wouldn’t be surprised if he could.

As if on cue, he felt a presence behind him, a hand around his waist.

“You’re getting better at knowing when I’ll come to you.” Voryn whispered softly in his ear. “Did you give any thought to my offer…?” His voice was still honey sweet; thick, syrupy, and oh so temptingly tender. It was a romantic tone of voice Nerevar was very familiar with. How many times has Voryn used that tone in the past to coax him to rest for the night when he was up late overworking himself? How many times did he use that tone when holding him close after making love to him? It couldn’t help but tug on his heartstrings.

Nerevar was a strong person up until a point. He could be a ruthless warlord, a cold blooded killer, but in the end his heart always started to win. He could only keep up the act forever. Back in the days of Resdayn he had a clear goal: unite the houses and drive out the Nordic Empire. Now though? Everything in Morrowind only got more complicated. The Red Year caused untold devastation, displacing large swaths of the population. It also exacerbated the infighting between houses; House Hlaalu was no longer even a Great House, and that had waves that rippled through the political landscape. No matter how much Nerevar tried to help and make things better because he loved Morrowind, there kept being set backs and road blocks.

He was tired. He was tired, lonely, overworked, and exhausted. He had Vivec now, which brought some comfort, but it wasn’t really enough. Nerevar would never tell Vivec that--he knew it would only break Vivec’s heart--but Vivec was also tired and exhausted. He couldn’t do the work of multiple people. He couldn’t replace every relationship Nerevar had before.

And he couldn’t replace Voryn. The man Nerevar loved for so many years. The man who had his heart, regardless of how terrible that fact was. He had already spent so long running from him, already filled with guilt about having to kill Dagoth Ur and never getting to see him again, and he was so… Tired of it.

Was Voryn bad? Yes. Nerevar couldn’t excuse his actions. He just couldn’t.

But the more he thought about it, the less that fact dissuaded him.

Already the world was filled with horrible people who wanted to do others harm. Already Morrowind was crawling with corrupt politicians, big and small, who wanted to hurt others for their own benefit. Nerevar already had to make peace with coexisting with them and trying to compromise with them. Really, what was so different about Voryn?

Voryn was more powerful and thus potentially more dangerous, yes. Voryn had hurt the Good Three, also yes. But Voryn hadn’t hurt Nerevar, no matter how much Nerevar rejected him. Voryn had chained the Good Three to the heart because they hurt the people of Morrowind, the people they were sworn to protect. They did not intervene with Baar Dau to save innocents. They did not stop the Red Year. They did not give him strength or allow him to eradicate the people who were corrupt.

Instead they had him betrayed and killed, before demanding he do their bidding once more upon reincarnation. They ordered Vivec to kill and betray him, and then condemned him for doing so. As much as Nerevar loved them and dedicated himself to them, perhaps… They weren’t what was best for Morrowind. They were petty, jealous, and didn’t care for mortal life. They would use people and toss them aside like they no doubt would with Nerevar as well when he was no longer useful.

The Good Three also preached this was the way of the world; to be selfish, to betray, to climb over others for your own sake, to kill your enemies before they killed you. In that way, wasn’t this following their teachings…? They were no longer useful to the Dunmer as they were. Voryn could be of much more use, and guarantee Nerevar and Vivec’s safety.

Or maybe he was just delusional. Nerevar didn’t care either way anymore.

He turned to face Voryn, hand on Voryn’s chest as the other, taller mer caged him against his desk. His heart was already racing looking at the familiar, handsome face he’d come to love.

“... I’ve considered what you said.” Nerevar admitted, eyes closed. Part of him still wanted to deny Voryn; a nagging part of him continued to gnaw on his psyche, making him feel guilty for even considering it, but he could no longer rationalize that feeling.

“And your response…?”

Nerevar hesitated again, eyes still closed, his breath accelerating. Gods did he want it. He wanted to be able to rest in his beloved’s arms once again. He wanted to feel loved and cherished once more. He wanted all of the things he had denied himself for years: comfort, security, love, and even a family.

Instead, he grabbed Voryn by the collar of his robes, tugging him closer. Voryn’s lips were dangerously close to Nerevar’s, as his eyes peaked open. He stared back into blood red, almost challenging in his gaze. Voryn seemed pleased though, smirking softly.

“Convince me.” Nerevar whispered, his breath brushing against Voryn’s lips.

Voryn didn’t need to be told twice; he knew immediately what Nerevar was asking for. His lips crashed into Nerevar’s, both warm and desperate at once. His tongue dove in next, gliding against Nerevar’s, and every swipe of his tongue and lips had his head spinning.

“Mm…” Nerevar moaned softly into the kiss, wrapping his arms around Voryn. He knew it was wrong, but it felt right. It felt so very right, just being able to close his eyes and focus on feeling good.

Voryn didn’t stop there though, instead running a hand up Nerevar’s shirt, sliding his palm up Nerevar’s torso until he could coax a shiver out of him.

“I’ll take such good care of you, Neht.” Voryn broke the kiss to whisper against his lips. “I’ll make love to you day and night, make sure you’re feeling nothing but bliss.”

“Voryn~” Nerevar moaned again, a bit louder. He had to brace himself on the desk with his hands as Voryn lifted one of his legs to hook it around his waist, pressing himself even closer to Nerevar. Nerevar could already feel how hard he was, and his desire only seemed to grow.

“Can you feel how badly I want you, Neht?” Voryn whispered into his ear now, the warm breath making it twitch. “I’ve been wanting to be inside you since I came back. I’ve missed being able to hold you in my arms and make love to you…” Oh gods did Nerevar miss that as well. His bed always felt a bit colder when he remembered Voryn and how often Voryn would climb into his bed, even if not for sex but instead just to hold him all night.

“I missed you too…” Nerevar confessed, letting his head fall to the side and Voryn to kiss and nibble his way up and down Nerevar’s neck. “I’ve missed this…”

“I want to give you everything, Neht.” Voryn whispered again, his hands going to unlace Nerevar’s trousers. “Everything you could possibly desire. A wonderful country, a perfect family, and as much love as I could ever dream of giving you.”

“Mm… Wait,” Nerevar stopped him briefly, and Voryn pulled away to look at him, a hint of disappointment in his eyes. “Not here… I want…” Nerevar still held onto Voryn tightly. “I want it on my bed.” At that, Voryn’s smile spread wider, a dark, seductive look in his eyes.

The next moment, Nerevar found his back against the sheets. It wasn’t quite his bed in the temple, but more so based on his old bedroom in the palace. Luxurious sheets were under him, silk sliding against his skin and equally luxurious pillows around them.

“You’re right,” Voryn replied, his eyes crinkling with delight, “I should take you on your bed properly.” With that, Voryn’s lips found his again, pulling him into another kiss that left him dizzy with desire as Voryn quickly stripped him. Given it was a dream, Voryn could have simply removed his clothes in an instant, but Nerevar was thankful he didn’t. He liked the build up of Voryn stripping him, caressing his body as he went. His hands slid down Nerevar’s thighs as he pulled his pants and underwear down, almost teasing strokes as he discarded the fabric. Nerevar’s shirt was already pulled up to expose his torso, but Voryn made quick work of pulling it over his head and tossing it to the floor, even if it meant breaking the kiss momentarily.

“Gods, you’re beautiful…” Voryn whispered, taking in the sight of Nerevar under him, and Nerevar couldn’t help but shiver. “The most handsome mer I have ever laid eyes on…” Voryn had barely touched him and Nerevar was already panting, shyly shifting on the silk sheets. “Even my memory failed to capture just how gorgeous you are, Neht.” He continued whispering, his hands now caressing at his chest. He traced at the scars first: one under each pectoral muscle, then up to the middle of his chest, tracing the jagged scar that remained from Vivec’s spear piercing him.

“I’ll memorize you all over again.” Voryn whispered like it was a promise, moving down to kiss at the jagged scar first. “I’ll memorize every inch of your body, Neht…” His lips then trailed over to a nipple, swirling his tongue around the bud.

“H-hah…” Nerevar groaned, “Voryn~”

“Your chest is still sensitive I see.” Voryn smiled against his skin, before giving it a nip, watching Nerevar jolt and whine under him. “Your reactions are so cute… Endearing, even.”

“Voryn…” Only Voryn would dare to call him cute. He was hortator in two lifetimes now, slayer of gods, King of Morrowind, and Voryn still called him ‘cute’ and ‘beautiful’.

“I always wanted you to be my consort, you know.” Voryn admitted. “I didn’t push for it; I knew in your heart you’d always wanted to be king so you could help our kin.” Nerevar groaned as Voryn continued toying with his chest, rubbing his thumbs against both nipples, occasionally pinching them to get a whine out of him. “You cared so deeply about everyone to the point I felt selfish for wanting you all to myself.”

“And yet…” Voryn continued, his eyes falling half shut. “Watching you run yourself ragged as king only made me regret that.” Voryn leaned in to kiss him quickly, not nearly enough for Nerevar who whined again in protest. “Especially now, watching all of them take your kindness and compassion for granted…”

“That’s--”

“Not the common folk.” Voryn cut him off. “They know you care deeply for them…” His hands slid down Nerevar’s stomach now, tracing down his muscular body, until his hands settled on Nerevar’s hips. “When the corrupt house leaders dare to let them know.”

Nerevar knew it was true; for all the good he tried doing, they continued to block him. He couldn’t just kill them either--the Great Houses would kick up a fuss over it, demanding compensation or even accusing Nerevar of being their enemy. And then they would just put yet another corrupt bastard in that place, continuing to stop him from actually helping people. His attempts at charity were often blocked, and even if they were allowed, not nearly enough, but they refused to listen to his pleas that their people needed this.

“I’ll make sure they know just how much you cherish them, Neht.” Voryn smiled. “No one will dare speak ill of you, or the love you have of this country. Not when I’m here.” Nerevar didn’t want to think about how he’d do that. Maybe Voryn would just use brute force. Maybe he had even more terrifying abilities to force them to bend to his will. Nerevar didn’t know, and he simply didn’t want to think about it. All he wanted was to close his eyes and let Voryn take care of it.

“Ah…” Nerevar moaned softly as one of his hands moved downward, sliding up his inner thighs.

“Oh,” Voryn sounded breathless as his fingers began to just ever so slightly tease at him, “So wet for me already, are you?”

“Voryn,” Nerevar gasped, spreading his legs a bit wider.

“I thought Vivec was tending to you?” Voryn asked softly, two fingers slipping inside of Nerevar with ease. Nerevar groaned at the sensation, rocking his hips against Voryn’s hand.

“H-he’s…”

“Ah, right, it’s not his duty to tend to your needs, as you’ve told him so many times.” Nerevar knew Vivec wanted it to be his duty; he felt obligated to do so, day in and day out, but Nerevar only felt guilty about it. He saved Vivec, and it felt like Vivec thought he owed Nerevar, using his body like it was the only thing he knew how to; as though his body was the only thing he was really good for. It made Nerevar feel awful and like he was taking advantage of Vivec, as much as he cared for him and wanted him in return.

“... But someone should have been taking care of you in my absence, Neht.” Voryn worked his fingers a bit deeper, before curling them upwards to stroke at the bundle of nerves that left him gasping and moaning in pleasure. “Someone should have been tending to their loyal, devoted hortator and making sure he was well taken care of…” Nerevar’s leg twitched, his cunt tightening around the fingers inside him. “Making sure all of his needs were met…”

“More~” Nerevar moaned deeply. “Please, faster, faster, Voryn~” Voryn’s fingers sped up just as Nerevar asked, thrusting in and out of him in the perfect way only Voryn could manage.

“You’re so pent up right now.” Voryn was smirking now. “Did no one want to touch you like this? I hardly believe that, not when you’re this perfect…” Nerevar could feel his climax approaching now, his hands gripping the sheets under him tightly. “Or were you staying loyal to me?”

Nerevar moaned louder at that, squirming more under Voryn’s gaze. “Voryn~!” There were people who wanted to, yes. Plenty of people wanted to crawl into his bed in an effort to use sex to control him, but Nerevar never wanted that. Nerevar only wanted this with people he knew he could trust. But part of him also just missed Voryn terribly, unable to find any pleasure if it wasn’t to the thought of his beloved. Not even masturbation was fulfilling--not when he was so painfully lonely and stressed out.

“I could feel you tightening up from that.” Voryn was smirking again, and Nerevar didn’t have to look to know it. “At least your body is honest like this.” Nerevar resented how honest his body truly was; how every inch of him craved Voryn’s touch, screaming out for it. “You need me, don’t you?” Voryn asked, his voice so tempting once more. “Admit it, Neht.”

“I…” Nerevar began, panting. He was afraid if he didn’t, this pleasure would stop. “I need you~” Nerevar pleaded, “Please, please get inside me~” He was grinding his hips down at every thrust; it was good, but he wanted more.

“Shh…” Voryn soothed him, his other hand sliding down to rub and stroke at Nerevar’s cock, making him moan even louder, his eyes rolling back. “Not yet, Nerevar.”

“Please~!” Nerevar could have screamed. “Please, anything, I’ll do anything--”

“I know you will.” Voryn replied, cutting him off. “Which is why I’ll let you cum right now,” Another whine ripped from Nerevar’s throat, “But I don’t want to make love to you like this, Neht.” Nerevar could feel himself getting closer and closer to the edge. “As much as I would love to watch you fall to pieces under me right now…” Nerevar could see Voryn’s cock straining in his robes, his mouth watering at the sight. “I want to make love to you properly, in the flesh.”

“Fuck~” Yes, Nerevar knew he was almost there. He just needed a little more; Voryn knew him too well for him to last like this.

“I’ll make you feel even better, Neht.” Nerevar could feel pleasure shooting up and down his spine as though it was intensifying. In his hazy thoughts, he imagined it must have been Voryn doing this in his dream to make him feel even better. “Just come to me, and I’ll make you feel so good…” He moved down now, whispering in his ear. “When I cum inside you over and over, making sure you’re heavy with my heir~”

Nerevar couldn’t help but climax at that. The pleasure was intense--all encompassing--as he came long and hard, moaning the whole while. His body trembled with every intense wave of ecstasy, completely lost in the fantasy.

Once the pleasure died down, after Voryn helped Nerevar ride the waves of his orgasm, he removed his fingers, now gently caressing his cheek with the back of one hand.

“Was that convincing enough for you, Neht?” Voryn asked, Nerevar still panting.

It was Nerevar’s last chance to refuse. He knew it. He could shove Voryn away and say this was all a mistake, but that would mean denying even further pleasure. It would mean never getting to enjoy that feeling again, and after so long his body needed that kind of pleasure and care.

“... Yes.” Nerevar confessed, his voice barely a whisper. Silently, he apologized to Azura in his heart; the Lady of Twilight picked the wrong champion this time around, it seemed. Nerevar was far too weak to resist this temptation though--far too tired after being beaten down by the people he was trying to help time and time again. “Yes I…” He swallowed, licking his lips nervously. “I’ll come to you, Voryn.”

Voryn’s smirk was absolutely devilish and dark hearing that, chuckling at the answer given. Nerevar shivered again, wondering if he made the right choice, before Voryn kissed him long and slow, making every worry vanish from Nerevar’s head so thoroughly he forgot he had them entirely.

“Good boy.” Voryn praised him once he pulled away, his eyes warm with delight. “You gave me so much trouble but… I know you were just worried about everything.” Nerevar shut his eyes, enjoying the reassurance. “You always overthink everything, even to your detriment… But I love even that cautious side of you, you know.” Nerevar liked the way it eased his guilt, a balm on his heart for giving in to such a being. “I knew that it wasn’t your fault you doubted me. I knew in time you’d listen to me.”

With one last, lingering kiss, the scene around them faded at the edges. “I’ll tell you where to find me soon, Neht.” Voryn whispered against his lips. “Just wait for me, my moon and star.”

Nerevar’s eyes fluttered open once more, looking at his ceiling. Birds chirped outside, and Vivec was sound asleep beside him, curled up in the fetal position, deeply slumbering still.

He closed his eyes again, giving a shaky sigh, covering his own face.

“Azura… Forgive me.”

#nerevoryn #indoril nerevar #nerevar #voryn dagoth #my writing #idk if nerevar is trans in fools prayer. but he is in this #idk i just decided it. so voryn can knock his consort up #yknow how it is.

18 notes · View notes

zvtara-was-never-canon · 1 year

Note

I like your blog but I was disappointed to see you say it would ever be okay for Zutarians to have Katara and Zuko cheat on Aang and Mai in their fics if they acknowledged it is bad. Somethings can't be done right and need to just be kept out of any story. It's completely disrespectful to the Kataang and Maiko fans.

Also if I were you, I'd block the anon who said they could understand the appeal of Zucest even if they claim not to ship it, and in case you don't know, a blog you reblog from a lot hello-nichya-here likes that cursed shit so there's another one for your block list. Incest is gross and immoral even if it's fiction, and you'd be better off not interacting with that kind of people.

Buddy, I'm brazilian. I was raised on soap-operas. If I gave people shit for enjoying any media that involves the main characters selfishly cheating on their partners to be with each other, I'd be the world's biggest hypocrite. That kind of stuff is an easy source for drama, and it will always be part of romance stories - regardless of the quality of said romances.

As for it being disrespectful to Kataang and Maiko, yeah, I could see it, but only if it's combined with a bunch of slander towards these characters, and pulling stuff like "How I Became Yours" did by saying Mai was a terrible, abusive person for being angry that her husband cheated on her, or if it's shit like Zutarians constantly harrassing shippers about how Aang/Mai is totally being cucked. But if they're just writing as a source for drama in a story, without demonizing the characters that are clearly being screwed over by Zuko and Katara, I don't mind it.

Also I fully disagree with you on the "Somethings can't be done right and no one should write them." No topic should be forbidden in fiction, and what people should discuss is "Does this make narrative sense?" not "Is this a morally correct thing for people to do?"

How would that even work for the Avatar fandom anyways? "Sure, the original show is literally about war and genocide, and it is constantly praised for having an imperialist prince redeem himself and befriend the people he sent a hitman after, but if we write characters doing immoral things like cheating or sleeping with a relative THAT is going too far"

Sounds like one hell of a double-standard to me. And I've literally said it in my pinned post: This blog exists solely to point out the kind of behavior that made Zutara become such a hated ship, not to bully people that are just minding their business, or to tell them what tropes they are allowed to like. I don't like the idea of Zuko and Katara together at all, especially not with it involving them hurting Mai and Aang. But if the people writting these stories weren't constantly forcing it down everyone's throats, I wouldn't mind them adding that trope to every single fic they wrote.

As for the second part of your ask, I guess there's only one way for me to make my stance on Zucest VERY clear, so you and anyone else who could be bothered by it can decide if you want to keep following this blog:

Hello, Nichya here. I'm not going to use this side-blog to block my main, as I feel it would be kind of pointless to block myself considering the content in both accounts is coming from the same brain.

And see Zutara fans? It's super easy to only bring up your OTP when it is relevant to the conversation and without trying to force other's to like it, and it tends to get you far less hate too, no matter how "problematic" your ship is.

#anti zutara #kind of #zucest

55 notes · View notes

astradyke · 3 months

Text

(note: by 'hard launch', i'm thinking specifically either non-ambiguously romantic physical affection, like kissing, or explicitly stating that they are currently in a romantic relationship)

as i've said several times i am not really settled on hard launch hill but the tour is making me rethink several parts of it because like... first of all the seriously imagine it jokes i made about that being their last show actually seems like it will literally happen on their fifteenth anniversary at the concert so, disregard that.

i don't think dan and phil would hard launch in the middle of a tour, though, is the thing. i feel like if they want to like fully hard launch in some theatric way, it would have to be before or after-- and after would be some time after, since i think it's highly likely they add more tour dates sometime into terrible influence and similar thing applies. i could be wrong but i think it'd shift enough things publicly and potentially amongst fans that they wouldn't want to do it like, in the middle of something with high fan interaction.

that being said i really don't see this as being a before thing either? because if so, the clock's ticking on that info drop. they do have a lot of other secret projects they seem to be working on but i don't know if any of them are hard-launch pilled

i think it's possible that well after terrible influence, dan and phil do a doc or something that states-- with the same level of clarity as basically i'm gay, where it's not spelled out but like the word romantic is used-- that they are together. i don't really think they'd be more outright than that.

that being said, i do think they'll do a photodump on oct 19. in the past i thought one of the pictures would feature a ring but i'm not super sure?

ultimately partly why i'm not on hard launch hill is because i think it's not expressly necessary-- dan was pretty clear in basically i'm gay that their relationship was formerly romantic, and regardless of what might have changed the two of them live together, are still each other's life companions and best friends... so romantic or not they still matter to each other, significantly. and i can't really imagine they're like exes about it lmfao. but like it doesn't SEEM needed, there's this kinda connection between dan and phil and the phandom that renders is not like crucial.

but i do think they might hard launch if they (1) decide to get married (which i personally am unsure if they will anytime soon), or (2) for the sake of clearing it up Publicly but, again, not sure when they'll need to do that or what would call for it. i think it's more likely all in all that they just ramp it up before and during the tour and then in like 5 years on their 20th anniversary they're finally married etc.

honestly, honestly, the only thing i really want that might be blocked by the hard launch barrier is for them to play that fucking couple's game. i know they have it. i just think it'd be a good video.

lmk y'all's thoughts, so far i don't think i've accurately predicted a thing in this new era LMFAO so... lmk! also this is unedited so idk if this makes sense lol

#phan #sorry folks we dropped -2 this week we must lock in #dan and phil #raaah this is a long post sorry i just yap #i can't predict ANYTHING though

7 notes · View notes

mauesartetc · 1 year

Text

PSA regarding character design asks

For those of you who are new here, if you take a look at the "character design" tag in this blog's archive, you'll notice I post a fair bit about the subject, sometimes helping others improve their own designs. I love getting these kinds of asks, as working out design kinks is a fun challenge for me (despite urgent life shit delaying my response times. Folks who've sent me design asks in the past few months: They're in my drafts and I thank you for your patience).

But recently I received an ask that displayed some rather disappointing behavior, and I thought I'd take this opportunity to nip it in the bud. This isn't a callout post, and I'm not trying to sic the shame squad on this person. I just want to stress to all of you that this isn't okay.

The ask included an image of a character they drew and some brief paragraphs of background information. Typical fare for this kind of ask. Everything was fine until the last two sentences.

I have to confess that I shamelessly stole the [clothing article] from [someone else's character design]. But since [worldbuilding info related to a real-life thing the other person's design was based on], it made perfect sense.

I looked up the original design they were referring to, and sure enough, they had traced so much of it that half of their design wasn't really theirs. Because it "made perfect sense."

I'm going to say this in the most civil way I possibly can.

ANYTHING. Would have made more sense. Than art theft.

"But Maue, it's just part of a design, not the whole thing". Doesn't matter. Theft is theft. And I want to make it clear to everyone reading this that if you think it's in any way acceptable to rip off another character designer, my posts haven't taught you a damn thing. Frankly I'm a bit insulted that this person assumed I'd be complicit in this.

For the record, professional designers do NOT steal from others, or at least the good ones don't. They might be inspired by an existing design, but, importantly, they'll use other inspirations too, and put their own unique spin on it. It's just a starting point, not the final product.

They say imitation is the sincerest form of flattery, but this ain't just imitation; it's the equivalent of copying another kid's homework in school. This is cheating. I've had one of my own characters shamelessly ripped off before, and there was nothing flattering about it. It just made me feel used, like a parasite had sucked me dry. I never want anyone else to feel that way, and I hope to God none of y'all do either.

Folks, if you want to design your own characters, do the research and actually design your own characters. It's really not that hard. Sure, the first attempts might look terrible, but at least they'll come by their shittiness honestly. Ugly art that tried has infinitely more charm than gorgeous art that didn't.

I'm sorry if this comes off as harsh, but I take this shit seriously. So please don't send me asks containing stolen artwork. I won't respond and you'll earn yourself a block. Fair warning.

Don't get lazy. You know better, so do better.

Thanks.

#psa #character design #asks #art theft

24 notes · View notes

vertebrates-and-pieces · 1 year

Note

Not sure if this is within the comfort zone or not. But how would Morgott respond to the notion of babies?

How would he react if his beloved brought up the idea that they would like to bear his children? How much coaxing would it take?

Alternatively, how would he respond if it was an abrupt pregnancy?

His beloved taking him somewhere quiet, and telling him that they are with his child. This having not been discussed prior to sex.

But they are happy...

Give us the juice!

Very sorry for the wait, had some nasty writer’s block last month, but slowly getting back in the groove and getting those writing juices flowing.

Okay so I was lowkey dreading getting an ask on this subject haha. It isn’t that it is really out of my comfort zone (Please don’t ask for pregnancy/breeding kink stuff on my NSFW blog though. That isn’t something I’m into, sorry.) but more of a topic I am heavily biased on. I personally find the idea of becoming pregnant or raising kids to be very unappealing and that is one of the few things I tend to project onto characters I like even when it is unrealistic to do so.

It’s probably me subconsciously lashing out against the random people who go on about how great motherhood is and telling me “you’ll change your mind once you get married.” Like no. That sense of obligation is how you end up with so many parents that resent their kids, as well as me working on my personal feelings regarding the preservation of ways… Due to a long family tradition that goes back around 7-8 generations in which the firstborn daughter of each generation is to in turn name her firstborn daughter the same name. So I sort of grew up being told that I was going to have children, including at least one girl, and pass on the family name. And going through the realization that no. I do not want to do that was a big coming of age moment for me (Fortunately my family was pretty chill about it, so it isn’t exactly a traumatic conflict or anything)

But that’s neither here nor there.

Because honestly, I don’t think Morgott would be opposed to the idea of children, so I’m going to do my best to put my own projections aside and answer this in a more objective way.

…under the cut because I ended up going through several paragraphs of introduction before even getting to my thoughts on the matter oops

So I see Morgott as someone who would be relatively neutral on the subject of kids.

If things are in the state we see in canon, a broken world where he views himself as very much alone, I think he’d consider himself procreating as cruelty. A reviled omen bringing new, probably accursed, life into a world where nothing but hate and suffering awaits? No. That would be wholly unnecessary. Besides, the fewer distractions from his duties, the better.

However, after undergoing some character development, learning to accept both himself and others more, challenging the status quo, and in this case, falling in love, I doubt he’d see things the same way. Now that he has been set ablaze by a flame of his own: one of companionship, one of change and renewal, the world seems markedly brighter, and the outlook of a child born into it less bleak.

However, I don’t think it would be something he would consider right away. It is pretty clear that he’s gone his entire life thinking he would never have a family of any sort, so it probably wouldn’t be the first thing on his radar. I think he could be fine like that. I can see him being perfectly content as The Last of All Kings. Yet, now that he is loved, now that he understands that, now that he has brought into question tenets he once thought unbreakable, I’m sure his mind would wander.

If his love were to bring up a desire to bear his child(ren), I think he’d be a bit conflicted at first. He would need to take some time to work through some of his feelings on the matter. Would he make a good father, he’d wonder. Could he show a child the love they deserve after his lifetime of hate? I don’t think it would take too terribly much coaxing, but there would have to be a long discussion before he’d agree. One of the major points he’d bring up would be the possibility of the child being an omen. Not that he doubts his love would care for an omen child any less, but he cannot help but worry about the other concerns regarding the safety of both the child and the person giving birth to it. As we see with the Omen Bairns in game, Omens are born with their horns. More concerningly, the horns they are born with are no mere nubs or buds. They are jagged, pointy, and liable to do some serious damage. To give birth to an omen would be… traumatic. The thought that he could cause something to grow within his love that would hurt them so terrifies Morgott. What if they died? What if the child died?

I do think after a good amount of discussion, and a healthy amount of reassurance that yes, this is really what they want, he would agree.

For he loves you so dearly, that if you consider this one of the greatest gifts he could bestow upon you, he will ensure it is so. And this great and profound love is something he looks forward to sharing with a child that you both created.

I think news of an unexpected pregnancy would result in similar initial terror. He would fall to his knees and hold them, worried that he may have just doomed them. They would ask him if he was okay and he would apologize. They’d hold him back, tell him that it will be alright, that they are honored, excited, to be with his child. And the genuine joy they show him. How they speak of looking forward to raising this child, to see Morgott as a father… He’s still shaking, but he is warm. He’s still crying, but his tears are not of grief.

#emmie answers #morgott x tarnished #morgott x reader #pregnancy #sorry I'm not very good at writing pregnancy stuff lol

47 notes · View notes

teamivankaye · 9 months

Text

Vikings: The Missing Scenes

King Aelle's Last Night with his Wife Ealswith

It was before dawn after a restless night. The King of Northumbria was sitting in his night shirt on the edge of the broad bed that he had been sharing with his wife for over three decades.

He had opened the curtains of the bed on his side and his impressive figure was bathed in a mixture of black and silver tones from the pale moonlight shining through the window. Staring outside, into the darkness, he pondered what this day might bring for him and his people: victory or doom?

As much as his confidence in the Lord's assistance had grown during the recent events, in this hour between night and day, all his doubts were readily lining up in his mind again.

No matter how many times he had gone down in prayer and emerged enlivened and with renewed trust in the ongoings in the divine realm and his place in the greater scheme of things: It only ever lasted for a limited time. Too often had Aelle faced adversity, loss and defeat since those savage brutes had laid foot on his shores for the first time. The heathens' triumphs over good Christian people had left even the clergy at a loss.

After striving to adhere to all the rules to the letter over the years, Aelle found it hard to imagine that they would be allowed to triumph again now, especially considering that God had gifted Aelle the most dangerous one of them, his worst enemy, on a silver platter, so that he could finally make him pay for his cruel misdeeds, acting as the instrument to restore the proper order of the world. Yet the heathen plague had threatened Christian lands for a very long time with inexplicable success and the Lord's intentions always remained blurred. Aelle had never been graced with any clear signs that would have strengthened his confidence.

Now, the heathens had landed farther south than expected and Aelle would have to meet them outside of his new fortifications, very likely on the open field, if he wanted to block their way. And allowing them to advance farther into his kingdom was out of the question. His people had suffered too often and too much from the incursions of these savages. It was his duty to protect them from further harm. But then, on the open field, a battle was usually won by numbers and the numbers of this "Great Heathen Army" had been anything but clear in the reports of his scouts.

Aelle exhaled with a deep sigh, about to rise, when he felt a soft touch on his shoulder. His wife had awoken and silently risen to step around the bed, unnoticed by the king who had been deep in thought and in search of an invigorating feeling within.

"Do you really need to lead the army into battle in person?", Ealswith asked almost in a whisper, barely veiling a tremble of concern in her voice.

Turning his head, he placed the hint of a kiss on her fingers as her hand still rested on his shoulder with a loving touch. Here, in their chamber, shielded from the curious looks of the outside world, they could drop all masks, have their weak moments and show their affection for each other.

"You know the answer", he replied calmly. "Why do you ask?"

"I had a horrible dream", Ealswith shuddered, squeezing his shoulder. "And a king who has reached such an unusually high age ..."

Aelle looked out of the window again.

"A king of such a high age, however strong, does not stand a chance in a man-to-man fight with savages half his age and should better send his heir to lead the decisive battle?", he completed her sentence, pressing his lips together in a bitter, slopsided smile.

The squeeze on his shoulder intensified and he heard a stifled sob. In a sudden wave of regret, he turned around and took Ealswith's hand, dragging her down onto the bed beside him.

"Forgive me, my dear", he said in his softest voice, looking into his wife's tear-filled eyes. "I did not mean to stir up your grief again."

He appreciated her usual composure, the dignity with which she bore the terrible loss in public and most of the time even in private. But this seemed to be a weak hour for both of them.

"God has already taken our son. I cannot lose you too, my lord!" Ealswith's voice was shaky, but she kept her countenance enough not to weep. Aelle was grateful for it as the rare times she had wept, it had affected him more than he wanted to admit - and he had always felt terribly clueless about what to do to comfort her.

He sighed again. She was right that it would all have been much easier if their Ecgberth had lived to be a man. If Aelle could at least rely on his heir for support now if on nobody else. Yet one thing would not have changed: He had to fight this battle in person, to settle the old score with the Northmen once and for all and to restore the dignity and reputation of his kingdom.

"You will not lose me", the king reassured his wife more firmly than he felt. "Don't forget that we have finally regained the Lord's favour."

But Ealswith still looked at him with scared eyes. Her hand was hidden in his big fist and now, she put her other hand on his.

"But what if we do not understand His plan right?", she asked. "What if these barbarians slaughter you? In my dream, there was blood and pain and horror everywhere - your blood and pain, I could feel it!"

She shuddered again. He had rarely seen her so horrified.

"Now, now, my dear Ealswith", he patted the back of her hand with his free hand in a helpless attempt to soothe her anxiety. "Let us not give a mere dream so much weight. Maybe it was just your worst fears that showed up. I have always returned to you, have I not?"

He tried a smile but he was not sure how convincing it looked as such a vivid dream of impending doom in the night before a decisive battle was a bad omen indeed.

"Aelle, dear husband, please, for the love of God", she pleaded, "do not go in person, not this time!"

"I must", he stated, gently but with authority. "This is my duty, I am the king. I would not be worthy of the title if I sat in my castle, watching from a safe distance as my subordinates save my kingdom and rid our lands from the heathen plague - or perish in the attempt."

"But what shall we do without you, my lord?", she asked in a disheartened tone. "What shall become of us, of our kingdom - and of our daughter, if you don't return?"

Upon hearing these desperate words, King Aelle sighed deeply.

"Ealswith, my dear wife, do not talk like this, there is no reason to despair." He realised that his own torment at the thought of leaving not only his people, but also his family exposed to the barbarians without proper protection was barely hidden in his voice, so he squeezed her hands reassuringly.

"Believe me, I wish our son was still with us and I could assign your safety to him and leave you in his trusted custody. But even then, I would have to fight this battle myself. Be assured, I have taken all possible precautions to keep you safe in the event of a defeat."

Once more, Aelle explained to his wife:

"I have set up a chain of couriers to convey news from the battlefield to you as fast as possible. You know what to do if word of our defeat reaches you: Quickly retreat with the household to our remotest castle at the southern border. In that event, I have given instructions to send an envoy to Wessex immediately. You will be able to survive and defend yourselves for a while even with the small number of men in arms that I can leave behind - if the heathens find you. So, you will be safe until Aethelwulf can come to your rescue."

At least, Aelle hoped devoutly that his son-in-law's honour would prompt him to do so, if he could. While Ealswith listened to his reassuring words, she straightened up and bravely swallowed her unshed tears.

"Well then", she said with forced composure. "But you must promise me to do all in your power to return to us alive. All you can do, no matter what it requires!"

Aelle swallowed hard, hesitating, and considered her request. Not a man to take a promise lightly, he acknowledged that it was hard to tell what it might entail in this case.

A defeat of his troops was not too probable as he had raised the largest force in the history of his reign. It would easily defeat the biggest heathen army he had ever seen on Saxon soil, the combined forces of two kings and an earl.

Admittedly, the information his scouts had brought about the enemy's numbers were deficient, since the Northmen had not landed with all their ships in one place, but were scattered along a great stretch of the coast and it was hard to locate all of them. But it was most likely that they tried to obscure their numbers because they did not, in fact, live up to the rumours they had spread about their "Great Heathen Army". Scattering their ships along the shores was probably another device of their psychological warfare. Besides, it was not too likely that Ragnar's death would rally an enormous number of Northmen when he had not even been able to bring his own sons, let alone any significant number of troops while he had still been alive.

Despite his ever nagging doubts about God's plans, Aelle was thus fairly confident that he would be able to beat the heathens in a battle in the open field this time. And even if they turned out to get the upper hand, he could still retreat behind his fortifications and fight them off from there.

But IF the Lord in his wisdom, for whatever reason, had decided to withdraw His grace again and to allow a defeat of the Northumbrian forces, then keeping the promise Ealswith was asking for could very well involve dishonourable behaviour. And that, as a king, Aelle could not afford - and, as a man, he would find hard to bear for the potential compromise of his pride.

Eventually, Aelle sighed and decided that his good, loyal wife had bravely endured and sacrificed so much in his support over the years, without complaining even once, that she deserved this urgent wish to be fulfilled. She deserved this sacrifice on his part to calm her mind. So, he would agree - but with one important exception that, he reckoned, would keep his dignity safe.

"Save for running away from the enemy under any circumstance", he said earnestly, looking straight into her eyes, "I will do anything it takes to return to you alive. I swear it by our Lord Jesus Christ."

That seemed to console her. As he rose from the bed, Aelle drew Ealswith into an embrace and she snuggled up against him, resting her cheek on his broad chest. For a moment, he held her slim figure tightly, gently striking her hair and enjoying her warmth on his body, remembering times past that they had spent happily in this chamber in their youth while learning to love each other.

She was a tall woman but he still had to bow down a bit to rest his chin on her head. The sudden realisation of her fragility touched him and, for a moment, he felt his throat tightening at the mere thought of losing this treasure or of imagining her in the hands of these savages - her or their young daughter. As fast as he could, he diverted his thoughts from such nightmares.

"Come back to us alive, my lord", Ealswith whispered. "We need you. All of Northumbria needs you." He gently kissed her on the forehead.

Then, he released her, in order to get dressed and head to the chapel as he had need for the comfort of prayer.

Before donning his armour, Aelle bade his family farewell. They had joined him in the changing room for a last halfway private moment. As he entered, Aelle embraced their young daughter, the joy of his later years whose unexpected arrival had helped them to survive Ecgberth's loss. Her young heart was racing and he suddenly felt a constriction in his chest. She must have heard the renewed rumours about the alleged invincibility of the Northmen and the enormous size of their army. A look at his wife's face when he kissed her a last time showed him that a new level of concern had taken over his family's minds.

He felt desperate about leaving them in this state, but he had not much time left to uplift their spirits. Besides, the latest estimates were, in fact, concerning, even though the rumours still seemed exaggerated. With the troops waiting and the battle ahead, the pressure did not allow him to cater for the emotional needs of his womenfolk in the way he would have wished. He had to stay focussed on his strength and determination.

"Are you sure these pagans can be defeated?" Ealswith asked in deep worry, taking his hand while the servants put on his armour. "Judith warned us."

10 notes · View notes

utilitycaster · 2 years

Note

this is fully hitting the wasp's nest so if you don't post it, i get it but like...i wish more of fandom was open to interacting with the material as presented than forcing into their preferred narratives. I like imodna as a concept. I've been interested in it since c3e1 and I'm intrigued to see where it may or may not go. But I would absolutely rather read your takes after an episode than the imodna fans because you're not trying to force every character action so its fit a specific narrative

Hey anon!

I really appreciate this! I hope you don’t mind me using it as a jumping off point to talk about a lot of general fandom response thoughts that have been percolating for a while, but I do want to answer you specifically which is that I’m incredibly grateful you told me. I do this too! I like to follow people who have different favorite characters or ships but who are engaging thoughtfully with canon. I genuinely have a much, much better understanding of Veth, whom I always liked but often struggled to get, because over time I've followed a number of people for whom she was one of their favorites and who write good meta about her.

With that said, people can engage how they want! It’s entirely valid to interpret things through shipping goggles/only watch because you want two characters to kiss (and you can want them to kiss for no reason other than "it would be gay”), or to like or dislike characters based on surface details. It’s just that like…to me, meta based on canon, or talking about the narrative and themes is saying “this is what I see, and I’m explaining it to you in the hopes that you can understand what I see, even if you don’t see it the same way” and shipping goggle interpretations are, ultimately, preaching to the choir. Like, honestly, I was never terribly into it, but I gave Imodna a shot! It hasn’t delivered on anything that specifically interests me and I’m more invested in other relationships for them right now. I'm also still open to things happening in canon in the future that would change my mind. But I'm not personally interested in forcing them to be together at all costs. Honestly, even for things I really, really ship, I never feel that way, because in the end I'm more interested in watching a story.

This could be a whole treatise - honestly the starting point for a lot of these thoughts is that masters’ thesis on toxic fandom behaviors w/r/t shipping that went around - but I’ll keep it relatively short here and if anyone wants me to elaborate on anything here, they can ask.

Basically, as I said above, there are lots of different ways to engage with the text, and the vast majority are valid, but looking at the canon and writing about conclusions drawn from it, or even writing fic that is deeply based in canon and makes smart extrapolations from it, are a way to make your own feelings about the text accessible to others. Saying “I think Blorbo 1 and Blorbo 2 should kiss with tongue” is not. It’s just as genuine and valid to say! I take it in good faith that the speaker truly wants Blorbos 1 and 2 to kiss with tongue! But If I don’t already agree, it’s not going to convince me because it’s not an argument. And, to be honest, if that’s a really common fandom feeling, and I don’t particularly care for Blorbo 1 and Blorbo 2’s dynamic, I might write about the limitations I see in it from canon (on my own blog, to be clear, not as a reblog or anything obnoxious like that). And, if I do that, I don’t mind if someone looks at what I wrote, and says “anyway, I think Blorbo 1 and Blorbo 2 should kiss with tongue”, and continues along their way, and ignores or blocks me and finds like-minded people! I only mind if they start directly engaging with me with the intent of convincing me, without putting in the effort to provide arguments tailored specifically to me. And even then…does it matter if I don’t want Blorbo 1 and Blorbo 2 to kiss with tongue? I don’t have any more control over this happening or not happening in canon than you do.

I think there are two big reasons why discourse can get so fraught and vicious. The first is that I think a lot of people who aren’t writing in terms of narrative, canon, and argument have very personal feelings about characters, which is good and valid! But they then see a dislike of that character as a dislike of them, which isn’t actually true, both because what makes a good character or interesting ship is not the same as what makes a good real-world person or healthy relationship (insert Anna Karenina line here); and because one person’s dislike of a character can be for different reasons than why someone else relates to the character (eg: the reasons I didn’t vibe with Molly were because he was often flaky and manipulative. If you relate to Molly but it’s because you’re genderfluid and do circus acrobatics and tarot readings, then our feelings are not in contradiction; we’re just responding to different things about him). I also think some people see a preference for one character over another, even if the person expressing the preference likes both characters, as an attack on their favorite. That, to be honest, is just really stupid and they should work through that.

The second, and this is where this does get more judgmental, is that I think that sometimes, people who are responding to surface things or relatability attempt to make arguments that inappropriately co-opt the language of social justice (not that it’s inappropriate to use social justice language when apt in fandom, but like…keep it systemic and about patterns), or which are inconsistent. To use an example, during Campaign 2, I remember receiving two different anons, one in which someone basically said “funny how Essek is granted the grace that Astrid never is; fandoms hate women”; and one in which someone said “funny how Astrid is granted the grace that Essek never is; fandoms hate characters of color”, and the real answer is that Astrid and Essek are very similar but do have key differences and if the criticisms of Astrid or Essek are rooted in misogyny or racism, respectively, then that’s worth pointing out, but I think it’s really unhealthy and unkind to assume people don’t like something because they’re bigoted (and indeed, this demonstrates a no-win situation with two characters each of whom is a member of an oppressed group, so that no matter whom people prefer you can always make this accusation, which means it’s meaningless without evidence.) And, if someone says in your inbox “well I don’t like Essek because he’s a wizard who is interested in power”, then it is valid to say “ok, well, then why are you arguing that I should like Astrid, a wizard who is interested in power?” because you’re pointing out the flaws in their argument. (sidebar: I, personally, like both Essek and Astrid. This is purely for illustrative purposes.)

Anyway I think the conclusion to be made is like, everyone may like what they like, but if it’s important to you that other people like what you like, you need to put in the work, and also, it’s worth examining why this is important to you...but it's that kind of thinking that makes people insist on certain narratives rather than just watching the show, because they are trying to prove themselves right rather than providing predictions and opinions, sitting back, and seeing if they come to pass.

#answered #Anonymous #cr discourse #more in the sense that it is discourse on the discourse #long post #i am going for the vibe of that bourdain post I just reblogged tbh #on fandom

47 notes · View notes

madame-fear · 1 year

Text

if you need, or want, to block someone, don’t ever doubt a single bit in doing it.

Especially, if it’s someone that was a friend, or mutual, and they overstepped your boundaries.

(what’s in italics is a little anecdote that made me want to do this post, so feel free to skip it until the letters are normal.)

I wanted to make this post mainly because I think there are a few people that might need this. Yesterday, I decided to (finally) make the decision of blocking someone I knew for almost a year, to whom I had been very close; but a series of uncomfortable events had made me want to lose all contact with him.

He sent me things I told him several times that made me feel terribly uncomfortable, but he continued sending them to me trying to reassure me they were cute and pure, and insisted that surely deep down inside I thought the same, when in reality it was the weirdest, most fetishist content I had ever seen and always avoided because it made me feel uncomfortable.

No matter how many times I told him that as much as I respected his likings, that content wasn’t for me and it ACTUALLY made me feel terribly off-put and not comfortable at all. Yet, he kept shoving it down my throat, and wanted me to go along with it.

Not only that, but when he contacted my close friends, he could NEVER act like a normally decent person, he wanted everyone to go along with it and made my friends feel terribly uncomfortable, and weirded out. Plus, he asked me to be his girlfriend TWICE this year, and first he said he was drunk (which he clearly wasn’t, as he had sent videos and audios and all; merely an excuse because i politely rejected him as i could only see him as a friend), and second time it seemed as if he was about to cry. And not only that, but as well insinuated several times that we would eventually meet up and HAVE SEX, LIKE ???

To which, yesterday I decided to finally send him a rather long YET polite message explaining how I didn’t want to talk to him anymore due to all these things I just mentioned, how uncomfortable and disrespected I felt, and that I would proceed to block him... And I think, I was far more polite than I actually should, as I should have told him to fuck off. And right after that, a friend told me he had deactivates his accounts. Too bad for him, but that was straight up immature to react that way. I literally feel freed away from this.

So, the point is, if you want to block someone no matter for how long you have met them, or if they are your friends or not, do it. Especially, if you told them several times that certain things made you feel uncomfortable and they kept going on with it, or even thought that any particular way you genuinely felt was funny (like in some cases in this situation).

You should never let yourself be walked over as a doormat. You should have a clear set of boundaries established, and you should always focus on your mental wellbeing. Setting boundaries can be rather difficult, but you should know when to establish them with someone in the early stages of what should be a friendship if you want to avoid these situations.

And if you already are in a situation such as this, talk to the person. If you have no need of blocking them then just straight up have a serious conversation, don’t go along with it merely out of politeness as uncomfortable as it makes you feel. Don’t let someone screw up with your thoughts and feelings, or make you feel uncomfortable. Speak out your mind to them.

Anyways, take care of youself, lovelies. And if you need someone to talk to, I will always be here active through askbox or dms. 💕

11 notes · View notes