#and I want to find them and slap them | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

maddymoreau · 3 months ago

Note

🌍 + Unknown ^_^

Send 🌍+ a series and I'll tell you a fact about my self insert!

Songs that make me thing of her:

Exist for Love - Aurora

Under Your Spell - Snow Strippers

Tw: Character threatening noncon (over the phone) and strangulation.

( ☞ ˙ワ˙)☞ As a heads up, all my Self Inserts are named Madison/Maddy, including my Unknown Self Insert. Also, in order to explain my Self Insert I have to talk about Grant, since the two are the opposite of each other when it comes to three things.

Grant is eight years older than the player. So for my Self Ship he's thirty-four years old. Grant has lived a very full life with multiple past relationships, friends, and a successful career.

He used to be in the Army until his Lieutenant made a bad call, resulting in all of Grant's Squad/Friends getting killed. The only survivors were Grant and his Lieutenant, who he drifted apart from after the Army.

Note: That's the Lieutenant's messed up photo from another game.

When Grant left the military, he moved into his parent's old log cabin. Later, he sees the player in town, starts stalking them, and eventually kidnaps them.

Meanwhile, my Unknown Self Insert is a twenty-six year old who has struggled with issues isolating herself (social recluse).

She recently moved to the city/town for a fresh start, sometime before Grant. Unfortunately, the quote, "Wherever you go, you take yourself" reflects her situation. As moving to a new place didn't change anything.

She isn't happy with where her life is at. She feels behind others her age, both career-wise and socially.

Madison works as cashier for a home improvement store (like Home Depot/Lowes/Ace Hardware). She's working at a dead-end retail job until she can figure out something else. Her dream job is being an artist, which feels unattainable since it won’t provide her with financial stability. This has caused her to suffer from art block.

She's unsure what to do to since her future feels bleak.

Before being kidnapped, Madison was an extremely lonely person. She doesn’t have any friends, isn’t close to any of her coworkers, and has felt disconnected from the rest of society for a very long time. She feels like there’s something wrong with her that she can't pinpoint but everyone else sees. That everyone got a manual on how to be human except her.

Madison is extremely insecure. Due to her lack of confidence, she tends to put walls up since she's afraid of rejection and failure. However, she desperately wants to break out of this self-destructive cycle she's in. She's TRYING to change, but is struggling.

Her insecurities about herself, her passions, and future are a HUGE contrast to Grant, who is EXTREMELY confident in himself.

For example, in the game, Grant calls the player under the ruse of receiving a fake number.

He'll call them again and ask, "Hi there. Yea, it's me again. I just had to ask. Why would someone who was hitting it off with someone else turn around and then give them a fake number afterwards?"

The player can later say, "Sometimes it's cause they just don't find the other person all that attractive."

To which Grant responds, "What? No. I'm plenty attractive. Lots of women find me attractive."

Also, insulting Grant doesn't really work as he tends to turn it back onto the player.

Player: "You're a fucking creep! YOU'RE SICK!"

Grant: "Mmmm . . . That I am dear. But only for you."

Player: "Getting off on just my breathing huh? You must be a two pump chump!"

Grant: "Whether I am or not, there's other ways to make you scream. And either way. I'll still be filling you with my hot cum. Wait. . . . right . . . I was suppose to be insulted, wasn't I? I'm sorry dear, let me try again. Oh . . . forsaken me . . . Woe is my manhood."

He chuckles to himself as if he was incredibly funny. I don't find myself laughing though.

Grant: "I do love talking to you sweetheart. But I think it's time now."

However, his confidence isn't like a stereotypical egotistical cocky character, but rather it's something he views as simply a fact. Like yes, he's objectively attractive and hasn't struggled to date.

His confidence is what makes him so terrifying. That he without a doubt believes the player will eventually submit to him.

Grant is so convinced the player will given in, that he can accidentally kill you. Since he believes you'll stop resisting and sleep, if you refuse and try to stay awake he'll accidentally strangle you to death.

It's one of the few endings where you're killed.

There's also two scenes where the player can threaten Grant with a knife. However, Grant doesn't take your threat seriously at all.

Player: "Stay the fuck back!"

He doesn't listen though, instead he starts to walk forward towards me.

Player: "I said-"

Grant: "Yea, I heard you sweetheart. But we both know you don't have what it takes to use that thing. So, why don't you just put it down."

Depending on the player's choice he CAN get stabbed:

The other scene where you threaten him with a knife:

Player: "STAY BACK!"

He lifts his hands slowly but without caution.

Grant: "Sweetheart . . . This is very disappointing of you. Why are you fighting me?"

Player: "Stay back or I'll stab you!"

He lets out a long sigh but continues to slowly walk towards me.

Grant: "You wouldn't stab me my beloved. Now put the knife down."

I find it interesting the way Grant is so confident that you won't stab him that he approaches you without any caution. Technically, Grant does have military experience, which could add to that. However, I'm pretty sure that lore wasn't added until after the game's release. So it's not that Grant believes he can handle you, but that he 100% believes you don't have what it takes to do it. Something he's so confident about that could end with him getting stabbed.

Grant feels very optimistic about the future and is convinced after kidnapping her, that, in his own words: "We're going to be the best couple there ever was."

While Madison felt very grim about her future. When Grant kidnaps her, he takes her away from all her problems and fears. While unintentionally giving her a new fear (him) and a new goal (escaping).

Since she's isolated (and possibly restrained):

She's now no longer dealing with the issues that plagued her for so long. The stress of paying bills and figuring out what career path she wants to follow. One that will both pay well, and she's happy with.

Art that was once the skillset she never felt good enough at now has turned into a creative outlet for the situation.

Also, since Grant kidnapped her, she's not able to interact with anyone outside him. Which also means she is no longer is at risk of facing rejection or judgement from others.

As horrible as the situation with Grant is, it's one of the first times she's ever felt fully accepted. Since she can’t turn to her coping skills by running away or isolating herself after being kidnapped. She’s forced to spend time with him and be vulnerable. It’s very jarring since she has so desperately craved to connect with another human being. Yet it’s happening with the worst person imaginable.

Due to her low self-esteem she has mixed feelings over Grant's obsession with her. She tries to rationalize it in her head, but it just feels so nice to be desired. To be complimented and praised.

Grant: "You're so beautiful. So precious. I knew you were the one for me the moment I saw you. You're perfect. In every way."

Due to not having very high hopes for her future overtime, she subconsciously develops a fear of returning to society. After all, if she escapes and Grant is arrested she'll truly be alone again.

There's this HUGE fear of restarting. Just because you've been kidnapped doesn't mean the world stopped moving. You still lose your apartment and job. Everyone else continued to live their lives and the world you already struggled to feel a part of functioned fine without you.

So, when you so desperately want to be loved and accepted, having someone say that they unconditionally accept you and all they want in return is for you to love them, sounds so enticing.

Grant: "I'm going to take real good care of you. You don't have to work anymore. Or do anything. All you have to do, is love me. There's nothing to be afraid of. I'm going to be real good to you."

It doesn't help her and Grant have this natural chemistry. That he also desperately wants the player to reciprocate even though it's super unrealistic they would. To the point you can use it to your advantage in the game.

In one of the routes after Grant breaks through your apartment window, you can scream for help and he'll grab your mouth. He'll then pull you over to the couch and telling you to not do that again. The player afterwards can try to stall for time with the hope that one of their neighbors has called the police after hearing you scream.

Grant: "I have to get you home."

Player: "Can't we just stay here?"

I pat the couch invitingly.

Grant: "Nice try. We both know you don't mean that."

He starts to dig for something out of his pocket.

Player: "But what if I did?"

He pauses before he pulls it out all the way.

Grant: "What if . . . you did?"

He thinks it over for a moment.

Player: "You could . . . come sit with me. Watch some tv . . . talk?"

He eyes dart around the room in contemplation.

(HE'S ACTUALLY CONTEMPLATING ADFN;LAKDJ. She was screaming for help two seconds ago there's no way she actually wants to- BUT WHAT IF?!!!!!!!)

Grant: "Why the change of heart?"

He's not foolish enough to fall for it that easily and the police arrive before you can answer but oH MY GOD.

In the beginning, Madison would occasionally fight against him. However, she quickly stops since she doesn't want to constantly be punished and is scared he's going to accidentally kill her. Instead, she plays the waiting game looking for an opportunity to attempt to escape. Until she just has one moment where a flip switches inside her, wondering what she's even fighting to return to.

A life with Grant she's guaranteed to know what she gets. Meanwhile, life outside is scary and filled with uncertainty. Even though Grant is the thing she should fear most overtime he becomes a source of comfort and the outside world is what scares her.

As long as she stops fighting then everything will be okay :)

Grant: "I know, it's really scary but I'm not going to hurt you unless I have to. Everything's going to be ok."

Grant: "I don't want to hurt you Maddy. That's not what I want."

Player: "Please don't hurt me. Please . . ."

Grant: "Shhh . . . I'm not here to hurt you. I could never hurt you."

He pulls my head backwards and places a kiss on the top of it.

Grant: "There's no need to be scared. See?"

Somehow I just can't agree.

Grant: "Let me make this simple for you Maddy. You don't want to get stabbed. I really don't want to have to stab you. So come quietly and neither one of us have to do something we don't want to. Just cause I don't want to, doesn't mean I won't. You're likely to be easier to handle if you're wounded."

I try to showcase her transition in some of my commissions:

Unaware of the stalking: Drawn by Saccharineheartx

The night of the kidnapping: Drawn by Toxictrashdump

Being held captive at Grant's log cabin: Drawn by Ohmenthamo

Confused about her feelings: Drawn by Eliotlime

I gave Eliotlime creative freedom with what the Mini Maddys would be doing, but asked if they could have mixed emotions. Like one angry, scared, shy/embarassed, and the other lovey/affectionate.

Madison initiating affection: Drawn by Bebbyb00