#and I suppose the only other ppl we saw who had made it the same distance were heavenly officials & white mask idiot

[theredpharaoah]

Dare I say we give Giles too much. I think him not giving Buffy the Slayer Handbook was dumb and ignorant. The Handbook didn’t just have rules for the Slayer, it was the definitive guide to magic on Earth and its history. The fact they never pull it out again after the first episode irritates the hell out of me. How helpful would that have been for all the Scoobies - Willow could’ve picked up magic way quicker. It probably would’ve helped Buffy hone the psychic abilities she never really developed. Remember how she’s supposed to be able to sense vampires and stuff? And in the comics, Erin had access to all the Slayer memories(I’m pretty sure) because he inherited the psychic side of the lineage. Again, that could’ve been cool to see and very helpful.

I also feel - as stated many times before - Giles completely failed with Faith. People talk about how Buffy built up that rapport with Giles and her friends - that she made their relationship the way it was. But that’s irrelevant because the relationship was present and stable at the time of Faith’s arrival. We see when Kendra comes that even the Giles is a bit taken-aback to her very by-the-book approach to being a slayer. So when Faith came - who is extremely similar to Buffy - how did Giles not immediately feel that paternal instinct he has with Buffy, Willow, and Xander? That sort of instinct comes easier the more people you consider to be your “children”. I mean it’s crazy that The Mayor had to take Faith out of that nasty ass motel. A literal demon had to go “that’s no place for a young girl”. And sure he had a motive but the fact that none of the decent people had already said it? And the way they handled the accidental kill of the evil assistant to the mayor? First of all, the Slayer killing humans is frowned upon but it’s not a hard and fast rule. I’m not saying they should just go around killing ppl, but I’m not going to feel bad that Faith killed a man who was working for demons anyway. And compare that to how they reacted to Buffy Killing Ted(when they thought she had); completely different reaction. And Buffy had exhibited far more animosity towards Ted, than Faith had for some random who got in the way.

Giles as an adult - and something of an educator - should’ve immediately clocked that Faith did not have the same upbringing as the other 3, that the Scoobies were falling into their childish instincts and alienating her, and he should’ve gone out of his way to include her and impress upon the others why they needed to accept her. Especially after they found out about her Watcher’s death and saw how terrified she was of Kakistos. Why did Buffy and Angel have to be the ones to find out Faith needed to be fought for - that she needed help to deal with her trauma. I was really disappointed in Buffy as she’d lost her watcher and relocated just like Faith. She also understood how lonely and dangerous it is being a Slayer. But I can’t blame Buffy all that much cuz she’s a kid. And Giles willing all of his things to Faith in the comics and only the Slayer Handbook to Buffy did not move me. Giles considered Buffy to be the “One True Slayer” was not a gag. Everyone considers her to be that, giving her this handbook after she’s been a Slayer for damn near a decade is insulting. She don’t need that shit no more - she had to learn it all on the job. And giving Faith his money so she could retire from violence? Faith’s violence wasn’t the issue, her relationship to it was. The whole thing read as very melodramatic and self-absorbed.

Giles was very childish and we see it all throughout the series, but especially in the later seasons. I mean when you actually think about it, he’s so ridiculous. Buffy was 22 at the end of the series. 22 and she has to take care of a teen sister, pay mortgage, bills, etc. Could you imagine that amount of responsibility at that age? Our society still considers 22 year olds to be pseudo-teens for the most part. And he left cuz he “didn’t want her to become dependent on him”…what type of shit? She was already dependent on you - you’d been her Father Figure since she was 16 and throughout a boatload of trauma. You pretty much raised the girl. And you know that - that’s why you had a dream of taking child Buffy to the fair. He’s human, but that doesn’t excuse the level of cowardice he exhibited for me.

Also, I think instead of killing Jenny in Passions, they should’ve had her live. I think she would’ve been great as Faith’s mentor. And while she didn’t take the Scoobies to task for blaming her about Angel and alienating her, I definitely think she would’ve gotten them together for their treatment of Faith. I also think she would’ve pointed out Giles’ differential treatments of the two.

[cupcait]

saw something dumb on tiktok and now i need to rant about caitlyn under the cut bc it's long and. spoilers yknow.

i rly. hate hate HATE that arcane brought on a certain group who knows nothing abt the characters before arcane & has defaulted to calling people who love caitlyn??? names??? and everyone has just this. absolutely ridiculous view of her because of her actions in s2 and i just.

did we watch the same show? almost every single character has done something that isn't... good?? there's so many who just so grossly misunderstand her character and her arc and it's so incredibly frustrating. yes it's awful seeing her morals falter due to her anger. it's awful seeing her allowing grief consume her and it'll never justify her actions. but like..... it's very human to be blinded by guilt, rage, and especially when mourning.

in act 1 she feels like it's her fault her mom died. like she failed, because she didn't do the one thing in her mind that would have prevented that. she feels her discipline and morals are what led to not only her mother dying, but two other members of the council. the entire point of her arc in the beginning is that cognitive dissonance. she isn't acting herself! she's going against her beliefs! THAT'S THE POINT!!! it doesn't mean they no longer exist in her. the way she behaves in the first two acts are VERY drastically different from the caitlyn we see in league, and in act 1. but she grows from it. she learns from it. & that won't erase the pain she caused during this period, but it is what serves to ground her again, putting her back to dedicating herself to healing.

also... she has not even AMBESSA in her ear, BUT POSSIBLY LEBLANC???? i know it doesn't drop her name but she has leblanc's exact eye makeup, and it's apparently leaked lb is getting a rework (more aligned w her appearance in arcane?) but mel says this line, sorceress/leblanc calls her a sly girl, and then we see ambessa tell her she is the wolf.

also this shot in the opening? ambessa's eyes glowing just like shadow lb?? leblanc's entire thing is being the deceiver it's rly not surprising lb as ambessa would have been able to perfectly pull the strings & make cait act out of character.

regardless of all of that, caitlyn says very clearly hating jinx made her hate herself. we are not supposed to like or side with her during her siding with ambessa, because she doesn't like it either. she doesn't even side with herself. people say she folded the minute vi called her cupcake and like, that's funny, but it's more that seeing vi again was a reminder of what the hell she actually wants to be fighting (or shooting) for. "ambessa" wanted caitlyn to have a distraction from vi for a reason.... it'd bring out her heart, rather than the fear that could be easily manipulated.

ppl saying she kissed vi to manipulate her in act 1 and i just..... i have to laugh..... we're talking about the same caitlyn who had to snap herself out of it to avoid kissing vi after healing her wound w the shimmer.... riiiight..... people acting like she didn't immediately have an expression of regret after hitting vi w the butt of her rifle... RIGHT.... SHE KNOWS SHE FUCKED UP we literally see the shift before she leaves. goes from looking like she cant believe what just happened to looking like she's about to cry out of guilt before she turns and leaves. it's awful seeing her do this to vi, and again, we aren't supposed to like it. i just think it's really clear she doesn't either. 😭

also idk i just think it's weird to call people names over characters they like especially considering the amount of people who will forgive other characters who have. arguably done worse.

[ca-suffit]

sorry how long this is, but this fandom is pissing me off so much and I need to rant a little before I explode lol.

-- madeleine (nonchalantly) says of sleeping with a literal nazi, "I was inviting a frightened boy to cradle my tits," and then when louis turns her we see this as a pleasant memory, and I'm supposed to believe someone who could take pity on a nazi (even if he "wasn't dedicated to the cause") and remember him fondly isn't going to be racist? so I'm the weird one for finding claudeine to be a gross ship and being exasperated by seeing edits of them flood my dash? and every time I talk about this on ANY platform, I mostly get ignored and the few people who do interact w my posts are denying it and saying she had to do it to survive, as if she didn't also literally say she grew up rich like 30 seconds prior.

-- a decent chunk of the anti lestat crowd insists he participated in the trial as an act of revenge and can't say his name w/o talking about how they hate him (bc his racism + abuse), and these are the same people going apeshit over ben daniels saying that santiago was gay and in love with armand, as if he isn't one of the most antiblack characters we've met on the show bc he was quite literally eager to put on the trial solely bc he hated louis for falling asleep during one of his performances. and don't get me started on his monologue about claudia's ashes. and yet ppl are excitedly eating ben's interview up. 🙄

-- the narrative literally showing us that lestat has changed since the attempted murder (going off script on the trial in defense of louis & claudia, taking accountability for his abuse, staying silent about the fact that he was the one to save louis & letting him leave w armand when we know how terrifying being alone is for lestat, spending decades living in that shack and eating rats to punish himself vs the hedonistic & decadent lifestyle we saw him living in s1) and the anti lestat crowd claiming this is just him being manipulative and are furious that the writers had louis forgive him. like normally I agree that it's in very poor taste to paint an abuser as sympathetic, but the thing about this show is that these characters are immortal and have all the time in the world to change. like this isn't the writers sweeping it under the rug, they're explicitly acknowledging how horrific lestat's behavior was and there are literally canon glimpses showing us that lestat has become a better person (and I'm sure this will be fleshed out more next season as we'll get his pov) and, like, isn't it a good thing to see an abusive character realize the error of their ways and alter their behavior and become better????? like it's fair to not want to see that, but this is the wrong show to be watching if you can't handle seeing abusers change their ways & being forgiven by the people they've hurt (especially since it's pretty much confirmed armand/daniel is going to happen at some point and given I'm sure they'll be circling around each other, I feel confident that louis will eventually forgive armand too)

ur fine, u can rant! I have a lot in my inbox but I try to get to it all eventually in whatever way.

idk how much u wanted me to comment on anything or not, but I'm gonna add comments and u do whatever u want with it.

a) ur never going to have an easy time criticizing a white woman in fandom. it reflects too much of what fandom is usually made up of and ppl will usually tell u it's misogyny to judge these characters if u ever try (most of the time it's not, but that's a convenient excuse to shut down convos).

the show intentionally makes everyone do p questionable shit, especially the white characters. it doesn't tell u how to feel about it, that's up to u. that makes ppl uncomfortable. it goes further too when it is someone like madeleine, who is otherwise seen in positive ways. it's reflective of real life and that's what scares ppl the most. nobody ever fits in a box of only "good" or "bad." a lot of what the book for IWTV asks too is what defines that anyways? and S1 also said "are we the sum of our worst moments?" so it is constantly asking u that and it is for u to decide and reflect on.

b) white, gay stuff is also gonna be popular in fandoms. ben daniels is also gay irl and his husband just died so there's crossover from that to praising his character bcuz ppl feel sympathy for him. I also think ppl detach more from his actions bcuz he's not romantically linked to the characters he's torturing. ppl also just honestly dgaf about antiblackness anyways so for most ppl it's easy to overlook. which is how we get posts like this.

I mean, u can also like whatever characters u like for any reason. some ppl like characters not bcuz they support what they do, but bcuz they're just enjoyable to watch in performance or connection to the plot or whatever. I think examining santiago after what ben said about his performance is something ppl should be able to do, and again it circles back to the stuff I wrote for madeleine. where does ur (general u) discomfort lie and why? as u said, if it's ppl who dislike lestat then it's worth looking at that too, why are the characters different then?

c) there's sort of 2 things happening for this part. the first is that 2x8 did have pacing issues, for whatever reasons. a lot of ppl felt like it flattened the plot and characters for the sake of making lestat look the best (over armand) and rly shoving it in out of nowhere. the second part is what u said about the themes. I've always figured they were going to explore forgiveness and personal growth, but I also know it isn't going to be easy for ppl to follow. hopefully the full seasons coming do a better job of this but for 2x8 there were a lot of reasons ppl felt crazy about the way it was shown to us. I also agree that other characters will have these journeys with each other too. it was just such a sharp turn for S2 to end on highlighting the white character we've otherwise seen as being p horrible and suddenly saying "it's the brown character who rly did the worst!" I don't think they intended to come across like that but it's how it landed for a lot of ppl. it doesn't mean ppl have an issue with the concept of forgiveness and stuff otherwise. we'll have to see how it goes. but ya there's 2 things going on there for this rn.

[kendrixtermina]

It baffles me that some ppl will still defend Chibnall because we actually 100% know for a fact, as in explicitly said in interviews, that:

Chibnall didn't even want the job, executives just thought of genre fiction as lesser BS anyone can do

He submitted first drafts

He had no plan for plot or characters

He decided to "simplify it for children"/ dumb it down (...by not thinking about the moral implications of anything??)

He explicitly told Whittaker NOT TO WATCH PAST EPISODES

As a writer, I am so angry because imagine getting such a big chance & then being so cavalier about it... If I got to be in charge of a beloved big-name sci-fi franchise, you bet that I would put in some fucking effort!

Like I've always been baffled by how ppl keep saying Whittaker was so good in her other shows when I only saw her being aggressively bad & forgettably meh in Doctor Who, especially considering that Colin Baker consistently managed to be the most interesting thing on screen even with bad script & hostile execs, to the point that he's one of my faves - and no, it's not to do with gender. I really liked Gomez' performance because she actually bothered to, you know, play the Master. You really bought that she's a dangerous inhuman creature but at the same time she still had nuance & depht going on like the Delgado incarnation.

but... now I realize that Colin Baker had the advantage that he was a fan before he got the job.

He knew what Character he's supposed to be playing; Whittaker only had Chibnall's superficial-ass scripts to go on, no wonder we ended up with what feels like a completely different character.

I wonder if Chibs wanted a lead author that wouldn't argue with him, especially given how he insisted on writing 80% of the episodes, the rumors that he turned down Capaldi's offer to stay longer & that he brought in someone who had previously worked for him. Capaldi would have called out OOC stuff. So would a new hire who was actually familiar with the show.

It's such a difference from having super-fan like Capaldi or Tennant on the job who deeply cared. (This is also why hearing that Gatwa had a similar background was actually the main thing that made me give the show a chance again)

But that said, Eccleston & Smith were new to the show when they got hired & still kicked ass. The difference being that, of course, Matt Smith DID watch past episodes & quickly decided that he loved & wanted to emulate Patrick Troughton.

As much as Whittaker sucked, there's no doubt in my mind that ANY actor in the world would have done better if they had seen past episodes, especially if she really is so much better in those other shows.

[hi-there-buddies]

I don’t understand people who say “Vegeta should’ve gotten ssj2 after Cell killed Trunks”

Like legitimately

Do you know how fucking lame that would’ve made ssj2 look? We have years and years of hindsight to see just how cool and how much of an upgrade ssj2 was, but that’s ONLY because Gohan was the only one to unlock it in the Cell saga. If Vegeta got ssj2 like, 5 episodes after Gohan, it would’ve thrown literally ALL of Gohan’s development and Goku’s foreshadowing in the trash. Ssj2 is supposed to be unique to Gohan, in the same way ssj was unique to Goku. Sure, other people achieved it in later arcs, but the arc that had the first transformation and the person involved in said transformation will always be the one associated with the form.

To have two characters achieve the same fabled form in the same arc would be wildly anticlimactic. It’s like saying Gohan should’ve gone SSJ on Namek after Piccolo got shot and after Krillin died. Like ya, that could’ve been something that happened, and it makes sense since Piccolo and Krillin protected and helped raise him, but that would literally destroy all the buildup Toriyama had for SSJ.

And then there are the people that say Vegeta “deserved” ssj2

NO HE DID NOT.

He was an asshole who nearly got everyone killed for his own pride up until the cell games😭. He doesn’t just randomly deserve to get a power up because he decided to finally care about his son as he dies. Now, did he deserve to do some damage to Cell? Absolutely, especially because he acknowledged the fact that he had been ignoring Trunks until he died, and apologized to Gohan for getting his arm hurt. And that’s why his final blow to Cell giving Gohan an opening to kill him is a perfectly fine conclusion. But Vegeta did not deserve to get ssj2. This isn’t buu saga or super Vegeta we’re talking about. He was a complete and utter jerk until Goku and Trunks died.

(I also saw ppl get mad at Krillin for yelling at Vegeta for attacking cell. Which is odd because that’s a huge trope subversion for dragon ball. Usually the characters cheer another character on after a rage boost and expect them to win. But Krillin knew exactly how strong Cell was and he knew whatever Vegeta tried to do would only make it worse for everyone else. WHICH IT DID BTW. IT WAS VEGETA’S FAULT GOHAN’S ARM GOT FUCKED)

Ok rant over bye

[bloomeng]

maybe i’ll get into this more in detail but i think the reason why the fandom is currently so divisive on the topic of characterization is that s2 is fundamentally a different show. pretty much everyone changes and not in a character arc/growth way, i mean the show’s tone changes so dramatically that the character’s are forced to change as well.

my speculation is that the writers had too much access to what fans wanted— plus a lot of factors going on behind the scenes— and what we ended up with were characters that were no longer built for a romantic-comedy. using izzy as an example because he’s the most divisive, but izzy in s1 is meant to act as an antagonist, maybe a character foil for stede, but more than anything (like most characters in comedy) we were meant to laugh at him (the same way we were often meant to laugh at stede).

so when people try to make claims about his nature in s1, about how he was trying to control blackbeard etc, we don’t actually know that. we do know what he says out loud but he really doesn’t get enough focus for us to make those sorts of definitive judgements. blah blah blah unreliable narrator, because it’s stede’s pov. he very well could’ve been trying to control ed because he sucked or it could’ve been about survival. while i have my preference for which i prefer i don’t think there’s enough to evidence to say for sure what his real motives were.

and then s2 blew everything out of the water. we still don’t know exactly what his past with ed is, but he is immediately the victim at the beginning of s2. not only was there the toe incident and the various other abusive things ed did to him, but their relationship is far more intense than it was prior. we even have jim stating canonly “he was your friend.” we see a softer side of him, one that loves and wants to be loved, he calmed down significantly, and he’s effectively become a third main character, with how much screen time he gets. suddenly the reading of him being power hungry doesn’t make sense, but the survival reading does. he moves from being a two dimensional character to a three dimensional character and we’re made to have sympathy for him.

i think for a lot of people this tone shift felt jarring, esp if you really didn’t like him in s1. which btw i don’t think there’s anything wrong with disliking him. he was an antagonist. hell i didn’t really like him. i never hated him but still. he was well written because he elicited negative responses the way he was supposed to. i have no idea if izzy was always supposed to move in this direction or if the writers saw the response from fans and were influenced by it. who’s to say really.

i also want to point out that s1 was pretty much only from stede and the crew’s perspective so naturally izzy is gonna seem like an angry caricature. s2 shifts around more because stede is no longer the only story the narrative is following.

i also see ppl say that con’s interpretation of izzy is fighting the script which i don’t agree with at all. jenkins has always been upfront about how much he likes izzy. although i do think fans shifted con’s perspective of izzy into a more nuanced headspace of the character and that might’ve effected things, but i think the same can be said of the writing.

tldr/ in s1 there was no “right” interpretation of izzy we didn’t have enough info. in s2 everything changed and whether it was because of the fandom or not they leaned into the sympathetic reading.

[barbatos-sama]

thoughts after one watch:

i was actually nervous for this episode bc you could tell from the season preview it was a court episode but we didn't know who was being put on trial. me and some other ppl in the fandom were afraid that we'd get an episode where royals were punished for mingling with the lower class (like stollas and oz) but it was actually specifically about bliitz's use of the grimoire.

we got to see all seven sins IN THE SAME ROOM (except for luci since the shows aren't allowed to cross over, he was referenced though).

we actually also got a huge lore drop that satan actually ruled hell before luci even fell from heaven??? i would love to know what happened that made the rulership pass over like that, although considering how absent luci is, satan might as well still be the ruler anyway because he acts like it. luci couldn't even attend the trial, and i highly doubt that's Just because of the whole shows not being able to cross over thing, luci in general even in his own show is very absent and doesn't do his job. satan is confirmed to have created imp kind himself, which confirms my theory that he created them in his image hehe. also he's HUGE. MASSIVE.

these two were serving cunt together and i'm happy to know that they're friends like people assumed they would be. they were trying to defend bliitz for his actions, which is really sweet since bee had only met bliitz once at a party before but she could tell he was a good person.

mammmon's "you're going to regret saying that" comment doesn't seem to have meant shit because it doesn't look like oz can get in trouble with the other sins for being with fiizz, apparently everyone there knows he and bee "like mingling with the lower class" and it's not like, illegal or anything. good for them. mammmon bee and oz were all flying insults at each other left and right lol

we got to see leviatthan and belphaggor! i was right about leviathan being a woman! or, women i guess? the two heads seem to have distinct personalities. we didn't hear them speak though.

bel is the one we got to see the least of unfortunately, not many clear shots of her. she didn't have any lines and was sleeping through most of the trial

for the gist of the episode, basically they were going to have bliitz executed at first and everyone was super afraid. but stollas intervened and his punishment wasn't death, because he's a royal and as satan put it "your life actually has value" so instead he will be stripped of his powers for 100 years. which honestly turned out way better than i thought it would. the worst thing right now is that his brother in law, anddrealphus, will be taking over his everything. and it leaves his daughter in the custody of his ex wife, who already seems to be in the process of manipulating her to be against her dad, which is kinda heartbreaking because his daughter is really all he has, the only thing he truly cares about, and she's gonna be turned against him.

anddrealphus is probably my least favorite character in the show right now he is.... weird. he keeps calling his sister hot and attractive and the first time it was like "okay he's just being supportive in a weird way" but he's called her hot like three or four times now, but it's also weird bc he's gay so i don't think it's supposed to be an incest thing (he just in general acts gay and then a pride month post confirmed it) so i don't know if it's supposed to be a "gay man is overly comfortable amongst women" joke or if the joke is supposed to be incest or what. definitely weird and i don't like it, want it to stop lol. he did grant me this great screenshot though

also look at these twos reactions when they saw death sentence read out on tv ;A;

the way it ended is kinda bittersweet bc hooray nobody died but also stollas lost everything and he's too numb to speak mostly. there was a wholesome scene where bliitz helped him take a bath which you know i love that kinda stuff lol

basically uhhhhh i feel like if this show is ever gonna make me actually invested in the main ship i suppose it would be now that mr princey is at a commoners level. i feel like that ship has sailed though like i feel like if i haven't rly cared about them this whole time nothing is gonna make me suddenly have brainrot for them lol. more thoughts upon subsequent rewatches probably

[happy-tori-friends]

Please elaborate on your ffxiv au 👀

- 🐑 Anon

its nothing concrete but i just like ffxiv...

some spoilers for everything - including endings shadowbringers and endwalker (everyone should play shadowbringers its so good)

i imagine its like an isekai just for funsies, so dont and did have to adjust to not having their abilities. and also being turned into the ffxiv races. they basically wake up on the cart/boat (i think alphinaud and alisae will be going to limsa via the boat in this au... idk if i'll ever write it but if its something ppl wanna see i am Willing...). tho they all have the echo. technically dungeons are meant to be 4 player but for our intents and purposes we're gonna ignore that. its My AU i get to make the rules

as for jobs... splendont is a marauder/warrior, splendid is a gladiator/paladin, flippy is an arcanist - for jobs he'd be a scholar and fliq would be summoner (tho fliq would also do reaper i think)

idk what the twins would start as but theyd end up switching to rogue/ninja asap, tho lifty would go machinist in heavensward and ive toyed with viper shifty. probably archer for a starting class just for gridania rep. i started at maurader on lifty just for easier access to rogue but that doesnt really matter. rip to splendid who is all alone in ul'dah.

now races... the twins are miqo'te, specifically keepers of the moon (bc thats what i made lifty)... maybe wildwood elezen. and flippy... xaela au ra (im an au ra lover... my main's an au ra and i have a secondary character thats also an au ra who i made to pair with estinien bc i like him was the second option for shipping my main w b4 i went with my beloved g'raha. i was gonna put a picture of my main, honoka miyashiro, here but i forgor. lovingly known as honk.) i was thinking au ra for super bros but i think flippy au ra is better. still not sold on elezen tho. maybe hyur? 23rd the 2nd benchmark comes out maybe i'll make them in that? theyre gonna questioned for their names but... oh well.

ive done arr a few times but ive only played the 2.1+ patches very little (im not done with post endwalker yet either i just started 6.4 but i started levelling reaper after the last trial) so i dont remember Too much (im gonna new game plus some things + i could stream ffxiv lifty's adventures) but i do remember many key moments. i'll put a cut here bc im gonna get into story events

i pulled up to the inn to look at the unending journey. but the openings are basically the same except flippy and dont are working together + the twins are too, and the city-states all send out envoys to each other for funny 'oh hey we all had the same idea lmao' moments and they all get directed to go to investigate sastasha (not b4 the twins take up rogue, getting disappointed when they realize they're actually supposed to maintain the code) where they all meet again and everyone is like 'yay thank god you're okay' and of course after copperbell and beating up some dick, all the scions show up and say "hey you're pretty cool join our club :)'

okay i haven't thought too much about story things in main arr + what grand company they join. but. i think if i go the route of different events being focused more on different characters in place of the wol, splendid being the one to be framed for poisoning nanamo might work best bc he does start in ul'dah + being framed like that kinda fucks with him mentally - 'i should've been more diligent, i shouldn't have just picked something up and kept it, how could i have been so blind?' and being considered traitorous + seeing all that happened at the bloody banquet is. well it's... a lot, especially for him (though he probably thinks he should be used to it considering canon htf but in see what develops he did get sick when he saw mime's body. i think. may in fact be misremembering).

splendont holding the twins close to him as they want into ishgard bc its cold and they can barely see through the snow... and the twins thinking 'we've done something good for once, we were celebrated as heroes and this is what we get?'

stormblood i dont have too many thoughts on either but if i go the route of flippy (or well fliqpy really) being the one to be zenos's main rival... i think fliq and zenos would have fun banter. also he would 100% do the reckless thing with yugiri and try to kill him with very little plan.

i think when there's split paths they do split up (aka at the beginning of expansions where there's different quest chains to start with) but thats all i've really thought about so far regarding some beginnings... i do know that i want splendont and the twins to be the ones to go to amh araeng bc them witnessing tesleen would be - that is if i even end up having flippy and splendid in shadowbringers bc they might stay back to help tataru and stuff... but having did there would make it a bit more painful so i dont know. splendont is considered the shard of azem here, (dont ask how if its an isekai its just how things seem to be rolling) and the one feo ul bonds with so it all ends up working out. also the exarch barely managing to bring all 3 (or 5) over when he finally gets it right is funny.

back on the subject of them having seen tesleen transform, it genuinely freaked them the fuck out and fearing it could happen to dont, lifty and shifty probably beg splendont to let them dispell some of the lightwardens' aether especially when y'shtola mistakes him for a sin eater and after qitana ravel where y'shtola is sure it is being absorbed and tells him to inform her of any side effects. but splendont says 'Absolutely Not. i can deal with it i'm not letting Anything happen to you.'

after malikh's well when he starts having pain and getting sick they beg him again, but he again puts his foot down. they fight about it, and the twins spend the night in a different room in pendants (they cant see ardbert anyways and have just thought splendont was seeing things).

things are tense throughout kholusia, and its very clear that lifty and shifty are afraid of what will happen when they kill the final lightwarden. then their fears are proven true when innocence is killed and splendont starts to turn because he cant contain the light and the sky they worked so hard to bring night back to reverts to the eternal day.

and despite the tension, despite the pain, he looks at them and says 'i promise... i'll be fine. i didn't want this to happen to you.'

'you fucking moron, this wouldn't have happened... if we shared the light,' shifty retorts but he and lifty are too afraid to get close, especially with urianger being weird. and all this time theyve gone with this in hopes of finding a way home, and now they might lose splendont and it feels like they'll never get home.

there's a lot of emotions going on with the exarch reveal bc they also dont want him to sacrifice himself just for splendont either but theres no other choice is there and then emet-selch comes in and that little bit of hope is dashed. and though ryne delays the inevitable it is still, at that moment, inevitable. they do their best to help the scions look for a way to save him but it's very clear that they're pessimistic, heartbroken. afraid that it's true that everyone they hold dear to them is destined to be taken away. if theyd fought harder, if they could have been more convincing...

i have more thoughts about shadowbringers (mostly with the twins being afraid splendont is taking up emet's offer) but i'll skip to the end so if i do write it i dont end up spoiling everything. but after ardbert fuses with splendont, lifty and shifty join him to fight hades alongside whoever else the exarch summoned... and when all is said and done and it's revealed that splendont is no longer being corrupted by the light, after they return to the source and have reported to tataru and krile, and they take a moment to breathe... they plead with him to let them bear some of his burdens, just as they let him do. even if it's for their sake, neither of them want him to do anything like that ever again, and they make him promise. they all cry about it, even dont, because Fuck that was probably so stressful. he does tell them what happened with ardbert though.

endwalker... endwalker. ultima thule in particular. while fliq would be the one to fight zenos at the end if i go the 'everyone has a part to play', and probably the one that gets posessed in 'in from the cold' i think i want dont to be the last one standing in ultima thule and extend it a little bit, in particular so lifty and shifty can sacrifice themselves for him. and at the very end when they are alone again he tells them not to scare him like that again. lifty responds with. 'it was like that for us too. that's why we made that promise. your burden was to go forward, and we helped you bear it.'

'we came back anyways,' shifty adds, but he 100% expected to just. be dead forever. theres a lot of crying again. ffxiv makes me emotional so it makes the characters emotional.

also in elpis splendont being like 'i am a familiar of azem.' and shifty confidently goes 'yeah and we're his familiars' and lifty facepalms. 'thats absolutely not how it works, shifty.'

of course none of this is fully set in stone. flippy and splendid might not even be included at all bc a lot of my thoughts are mostly dont lifty and shifty save for zenos n fliq (if i go this route, one of the twins would be made a pugilist and start in ul'dah) bc i dont have many ideas for the twins to have wol major moments other than thinking about them being framed for poisoning nanamo instead of splendid. this also got really long... i'm gonna have to do this arent i? ffxiv au yes or no poll when.

[woodsfae]

I genuinely feel like Housemate is doing strange, fucked-up things to Partner and I on purpose, but the extent to which I second-guess myself and go back-and-forth on it also sorta makes me feel like they are? It's just. So much.

From the beginning, sigh.

I met Partner in 2016, met Partner's best friend (hereafter "Tas," fake name, obvs) shortly thereafter. Tas is nonbinary, and I have always felt like they and their friend group put me in the "straight girl" mental box. They have always been standoffish and cold to me. I am also nonbinary, but I'm not superduper open about it? Like if we're friends, we've talked about my relationship to gender. And whenever I'm in a meet-n-greet circle that people are sharing their pronouns, I do say "they/she/he are all ok for me," (including Tas, because we've been in community organizing initiatives several times together) but hardly anyone ever uses anything other than "she" for me. I'm short and extremely busty and frequently wear dresses so I often think people -especially queer ppl, sadly- consider me to be a trendchasing "theyfab," and Tas's coldness to me has always indicated that to me, too.

Tas repeatedly hit on my sister and for literally two years straight the only time they initiated conversation with me was to ask if my sister got their texts. My sister told me she always responded to their texts and usually TAS was the one who didn't text HER back. My sister also never flirted back, because she doesn't like how Tas treats me.

Partner and I were openly polyamorous until the pandemic when we closed for health purposes. We were both dating other people when we met. Partner had a very brief relationship shortly after we started dating that went really badly. That person suddenly indicated they felt unsafe in their living situation and Partner drove more than 24 hours to pick them up and give them a safe landing spot. That person immediately freaked out whenever Partner even texted me. And did a lot of really weird passive-aggressive stuff to me whenever we saw each other. And was really controlling to Partner. Partner had just barely gotten them out of his apartment when Tas FREAKED THE FUCK OUT. And was like "I dated them so you should have known to check with me," and Partner was like...."you did? Oh...I dimly recollect like...years ago? Briefly?" and Tas was like "yeah, it was a few months and went badly and now you've broken my trust and will have to rebuild it. :| :|"

I thought this was bs but whatever, their friendship. They rebuilt it or whatever. but after that I cared a fuckload less about what Tas thought about me. But it was still stressful and upsetting that they were SO cold to me.

In 2020 I moved in with Partner and we locked down together. Until his apartment building was sold and the new owners DOUBLED HIS RENT with thirty days' notice. And then we were SOL because our city's cost of living was literally the highest in the country, adjusted for population, and vacancy was 0.2%. At the same time, Tas' house was sold and they were in basically the same boat. However. Tas and Partner both made enough and had just enough savings and parental help that they realized they could probably afford to buy a house together. And I was invited to live in the house, too, only I pay a little less because I'm not building equity as I'm not an owner. It was all very optimistic. Tas wanted to have a close, warm housemate relationship. We all planned game nights, shared dinners, shared grocery staples etc etc. We had multiple meetings about it and I was very optimistic about it all. Tas was more friendly and open to me during those few months than ever before or since.

We moved in and Tas immediately was standoffish and cold again, but not only to me, but also to Partner, their supposed best friend of over a decade. This hurt Partner tremendously. They would go to another room whenever either of us entered it, then text us random house things from the other room. They went back on all the dinners/game nights/etc we had agreed on. Partner and I extended invitations for MONTHS. It wore on Partner considerably, and me too. But Partner was losing his best friend with NO explanation.

Tas started texting Partner requests for "house meetings," except I wasn't invited. And then Tas would postpone the meetings with only a few hours' notice, or sometimes wouldn't show up, and then would postpone belatedly. And when the meetings did happen it would be like "I feel like the vibe is off in the house and it hurts me."

like wtf.

Partner would be like "Tas had a bad childhood and their parents basically waged psychological warfare on them and it's hard for them," and I'd be like….. "BABE YOU AND ME HAD THAT HAPPEN TOO." And Partner would be like "they had [medical thing] that caused a traumatic brain injury and their memory is really bad because of it…" and I'd be like "me and my five concussions and literal Post-Concussion Syndrome would like a word." He's just trying to find his peace, because it has been seriously hard on him. He's cried on me so many times about Tas since we moved in together. And there's really no justification for being a relentless asshole, imho.

Tas and I had a shared goal of transforming our lawn into a garden/natural plants pollinator space. Tas and I spent hours and hours working on this. Their back is objectively more fucked up than mine so I did more of the super-hard labor, but we both worked really hard on it. We talked about sharing the garden beds and what the division would look like….and then I came home and Tas had planted all the garden beds with the things they wanted and left me no room for anything.

Last year I decided to take a little corner of the yard that was only weeds and plant some sweetgrass. I checked with Tas multiple times they didn't want that corner for anything. I mentioned it multiple times. then I planted my sweetgrass with a little berm I built. And I mean it's LITTLE. If I made a circle with my arms, it would fit in that circle with my fingers touching.

A few weeks ago I went out and Tas had been clearing out the dead leaves/stems from the yard and garden and piled all the compost waste right on top of my sweetgrass patch. my tiny little patch that is only about 2 feet by 2 feet at most.

That hurt my feelings more than I thought possible. I was so so hurt. My only little patch of garden. I cleared it off, pulled some of the weeds I had left in to help enrich the soil, so it would look more tidy and visually distinct, and went and told Tas their compost pile had ended up on my sweetgrass so I had moved the compost over a little. Then I painted a bunch of rocks and ringed my sweetgrass space with the colorful rocks so it would be even more visually distinct and obvious.

I feel so defeated and sad. I don't know why Tas is being like this. I hate living here, and Partner and I both wish we had moved into a van or something instead.

We are nice to Tas. We still offer up game nights and dinners. We watch their special needs dog ALL THE TIME. Tas pays their friends to watch the dog when we can't, but never offers us a cent. Tas refuses to speak to us about almost anything. They insisted on a mask-inside and checking with housemates about guests rule in lockdown, then broke it immediately and never checked with us about any guests. The mutual friends we do have mostly started being even weirder and colder to me after we moved in together, and I genuinely think they're trashtalking me to our mutual acquaintaince group. I go out of my way to be friendly and ask about their plans and things, but they actively hide their plans from both of us. They will just suddenly be gone for 2-3 days, or have dinner parties, or out of town people over.

A few years ago they had a dinner party on Partner's birthday, with many of Partner's friends invited, and didn't tell Partner they were having people over or anything. It wasn't for Partner's bday, it was just a totally unrelated dinner party ON his bday, in his house, with his friends, that he wasn't invited to. It was so cruel I honestly have trouble believing my own memory that it happened.

They went on a long vacation and brought me a "present" for watching their dog. The worst and least-functional butter dish with no lid that I've ever seen and doesn't even sit flat. Oh, and it matches the utensil-rest they got themself??

They are always civil to my face, but I always always feel like they dislike me. It's exhausting. I wish we could move, but housing prices are still incredibly high, loan rates are terrible, and Partner feels trapped into this house ownership. We both wish we had done literally anything else in 2020 than moving in with Tas.

right this minute Partner is being yanked around by Tas with another house meeting. can't wait to find out what bad vibes are our fault, now.

[deadletterpoets]

Was reading a post and saw someone say that the reason they like Batgirls and having Barbara as Batgirl and Oracle is because Barbara is shown having off and on days whereas as when she’s just Oracle she’s basically Alfred which is such a bad take of who and what Oracle actually is. But I can see why someone would say that since that’s basically all she appears to be doing when DC claims to be using her as Oracle in current issues. You’re right to say that when Barbara is Batgirl along with Cass and Steph it makes them look like secondary characters even when the writing for Barbara isn’t the best. Generally there is excitement when all are shown together but if I’m being honest I don’t want to see them together because they are shown always together and nothing has really come out of it. Same with Barbara and Dick. In my opinion all the characters need a cleanse from each other and to be given their own titles without each other for at least a short time. With Barbara it feels like there needs to be a show why Barbara as Oracle is important and probably having her working with people who don’t share the same skills and actually need her. We actually need to see Barbara getting dirty work again and not just shown as a cheery I got your back support. And I feels like that because she’s following either Nightwing or Batman and what they are doing instead of being the head where she made the decisions on what she plans on tackling and what missions her team goes on.

While I can appreciate the want to showcase disabled rep of "good days/bad days" seeing as it happened during the exact time as Nightwing doing the "invisible disability" type of representation left a bad taste in my mouth since it continued the usage of Babs (once they even started to acknowledge she even had a disability again) being a revolving door of any type disability they needed, except the one she's actually supposed to have so I didn't think Cloonrad deserved praise cause they "did more than Tom Taylor". She is supposed to be a physically disabled full time wheelchair user. Even with those that use her as Oracle now often still don't often use her in a wheelchair. That's something I can give Batgirls, that book is one of the few to actually show her as a wheelchair user at all even if it was part time.

In terms of the characters being allowed to be away from each other more and having their own titles, it's kinda sad how apparently DC can't get most of the other Batfam members to sell well enough to keep an ongoing. in regards to showcasing why Oracle is important, this is a BIG reason why so many have been adamant that Thompson's Birds of Prey is a letdown. That is not only Barbara's team, that is specifically a book where showcasing why Oracle matters, showcasing her intelligence, her leadership, her character, her heroism, it should've happened in that book. It should've happened with her as Oracle. I've seen ppl say Babsgirl is more important because she's out fighting blah blah blah (those same ppl are why I believe Cass/Steph get pushed to the side when Babsgirl show up cause all of them don't understand why Cass/Steph exist as Batgirl is Barbara is there) and Oracle is a glorified GPS. And unfortunately that's how too many writers tend to use her. They don't showcase how much of a genius she is at strategy, they reduced her hacking so often it's a borderline joke to me at this point. With all the technological advances Oracle should be a one woman army capable of toppling governments (which I'm pretty sure she could at one point), but now she can barely hack the FBI I think or some government agency and she asks permission to hack GCPD. Every other hacker that shows up takes down her firewall like it's held up by duct tape (I always found it weird how easily Seer took down her entire network during Fear State and yet Ghost Maker's network stayed strong. Babs takes Ls so much I don't think ppl even realize when they happen anymore)

There's no excitement for me at all when it comes to the batfam together or apart honestly. DC isn't in the business of telling stories for their characters they just want to sell the brand. It's probably why Cass and Steph got to be Batgirl again cause selling them as Batgirl is just easier, but also allows them to never get too big cause no matter what as long as Babs can still be Batgirl then she's the one that's front on the covers when they want her to be.

Idk what Thompson plans to do with her, but odds anything she plans to do wouldn't be nearly as interesting or cool as a true Birds mission where Dinah and Helena with the guidance and leadership off Oracle go global and handle some fucking business.

[inchidentally]

tricky asks below to keep out of tags!

ok so full disclosure I do still ship them in an rpf way from their season together lasgfjlsaghfjl but absolutely, in reality I fully agree their dynamic was big brother and baby brother back then. they're definitely friends in an equals way now and I do like that Lando exerts a lot of confidence now and isn't just Carlos' satellite.

and no worries at all about me leaving the ship I'm honestly just not engaging for a while until pls god the larrying calms down. before Oscar that was my main hardcore rpf ship and I also love the real life friendship Carlos and Lando have. but if ever there was going to be a ship to cause a Kraken-type upset in F1 it's carlando. there's wayyyy too many ppl who are loudly convinced it's a real thing and about the same amount of ppl who think Lando's friendships should be ranked in order of "importance" to him. which would leave only Max F at the top so I guess by their reasoning carlando was fucked before it even started lmaoooooo

oh babe don't bother trying to bring logic into this!!!

I... don't know what this is supposed to be referencing bro? the quote was that people shouldn't assume that guys are friends just bc they're teammates so he didn't like, say that Charles and Carlos aren't? also this was all to do with the personal beef he has w Esteban so I think if he was deciding to say that Carlos and Charles hate each other it would've made waves??

and I gotta remind folks that galex seem to be the only two drivers who are friends the same during the season and off of it. I haven't looked crazy deep into the other friendships but pretty sure none of them really hang much in the off season?

fr I do not get them going after Oscar the way they did Luisinha and now Rebecca (and I'm assuming Isa). it's one type of crazy to hate on real life partners over delulu shit but to start doing that to a guy in another rpf ship??? poor Oscar is just standing there not doing anything and they're alternating between him being carlando ship captain or saying he will NEVER be Carlos to Lando.

oh my goddddd

like

how can someone want their fandom experience to be constantly getting enraged at reality intruding on a ship that I swear to god never had the remotest plausibility anyway???? considering they stopped existing to each other for the winter months apart from a little press during covid and Carlos was practically engaged to Isa the entire time like ???????

your ask and another I got (but won't post) was from today/yesterday so I'm guessing it was them seeing Carlos and Rebecca apartment hunting in Monaco has set off some fireworks. I saw a cute photo of Carlos and Rebecca chatting w Lando at the Netflix Cup thing and the comments were calling Rebecca the Steve in the situation. Lando literally is talking to the real life couple and that ain't enough to break the delulu.

anyway folks, that's why we look after Lily's remote presence in fandom. gotta keep the shit flying around trying to stick somewhere else lol

[donnerpartyofone]

man i hope this isnt weird and i know its a little weird but ive followed you for a while and feel a deep kindred spirit with you. i know its only parasocial and we arent mutuals so its all good but like some of the things you post resonate with me so deeply and you articulate things abt yourself that i also feel abt my self but you articulate them better than i ever could. also we have very similar hair but i usually weird mine buzzed but when it grows out it looks a lot like yours and you rock it in ways i never feel confident enough to do. idk i just saw your post abt being a bad person but not in the ways ppl think you are and thats like something i think to myself all the time like i wish ppl who think im good knew i was bad and ppl who think im bad knew how wrong they were abt the ways im bad. and things youve posted abt being a stupid person and having ppl be like "youre not" resonate too bcuz its like im painfully PAINfully aware of my own stupidity and bumbling thru like but my loved ones dont want me to think that way or acknowledge it but i think there is something truly liberating in knowing i am inherently dumb in a lot of ways and to a lot of things and i have to work harder to live a good life bcuz of it. idk. im doing a bad job of explaining myself here. but anyways. i just wanna say thanks for putting your thoughts on this website for me to follow and keep doing you, bcuz youre doing it great.

Well I hope it's not weird for me to post this, I suppose it is anonymous after all; it feels kind of private to me but also I am also having a freakishly difficult couple of weeks and it was meaningful to hear someone say "I know what you're talking about." (I think you are speaking very clearly btw) I feel like a lot of the rhetoric society uses to address people who have depression is devised by people who don't suffer from it, like there's a lot of language about how "you're not alone" and a lot of idealizing talk about how great the self-denigrating sufferer appears to others, and that's nice and all but it kind of dismisses the individual's own personal experience of themselves. A person is more complex than their need for extra hugs or attention or something, and a person's perception of themselves/experience of having to be with themselves is not contingent on the perceptions of others even if the external impressions are positive. I don't know, I hate to shit on supportive behaviors but a lot of them are basically dismissive of a person's status as the de facto expert on themselves; I don't really think it's ultimately helpful to make people feel like they don't know what they're talking about, about their own selves. It can be maddening actually, and idealizing talk in particular has a way of suggesting that things have to be great for them to be at all acceptable. Which is really oppressive to tell the truth.

Interlude: In grade school my best friend's class had to do this exercise where they made acronyms of of their first names using various personal qualities, and the teachers gave her shit because for the letter A she used Adequate, and they thought this was, like...bad and had to be corrected.

Anyway I have always written very obsessively and I think it's related to wanting to be understood. Which is not the same thing as wanting to be appreciated, or wanting to feel not-alone. I think I just want someone to say they know what I'm talking about, instead of telling flattering lies or suggesting that something is wrong to say or dismissable just because it seems negative or painful. As if discomfort is automatically invalidating. Someone asked me recently if I journal and I laughed because I've done it all my life, and also because I actually have a SACK of journals under my bed, one regular one, one for dreams, one that's about my dysfunctional relationship with money and materials, etc. And then there's my various blogs of course. I have a couple of semi-pro writing projects going too that I hope I get to announce soon. But it's really all about just the fantasy of articulating something so carefully, preferably in ink (or "ink"), that no one can possibly pretend that they don't know what I'm talking about ever again.

It's funny that we wear our hair the same. I used to wear it half-shaved but my hair grows so fast, it gave me a lot of anxiety. But on that note I must say that whatever pictures of me you see are like 1/1000, I find it very hard to take a picture I'm satisfied with and I often just wind up feeling embarrassed, but ultimately I think I'm just trying to fix some positive mental image of myself even though I know we're all different people at different hours of each day. I dunno. Actually it becomes problematic because a couple of people are always telling me how "photogenic" I am and then I'm like WHY DID IT TAKE ME THREE HOURS TO GET THIS ONE SHOT THEN, and they refuse to believe me when I explain how many pictures I throw out. They think they're doing me a big favor by pretending everything is effortless for me. I have especial problems with my hair, probably every picture you see of me was anxiously snapped at some exact moment when it was behaving! So don't worry, I'm having a really hard time with my appearance basically always. Pictures other people take of me are mortifying, and I'm always like FUCK, that's what they think is a good, representative photo of me? Uh oh. Pictures I take of myself are usually taken in an emergency in fleeting, ephemeral moments where I suddenly look ok to myself.

This morning I went to the church where I've been going since February, a beautiful place full of eccentric older people I have fallen a little in love with. Sometimes I'm tempted to actually convert to Catholicism, like maybe that would be the gothest thing I could do, but I know that I will always believe in abortion and the right to suicide and I'm not too sure about hell or the historical Jesus or papal authority. I just really like it in this specific church. This morning one of the oldest ladies who goes on the weekdays like me introduced herself, she was very sweet and she was wearing hoops that were styled like chains, I don't think she realized they were bad bitch earrings, they just looked nice on her. She said it was nice to see "young people" getting involved with the church, and I wanted to tell her I turned 42 last week, but I might still be the youngest person there! When I met some of the other folks last month they told my husband that he looked like Geraldo Rivera, and then remarked that they thought we were too young to be aware of Geraldo. I told them we're old enough, we're just packed in our own oil. Anyway this is my big excuse to post selfies I was struggling with, I feel more conflicted about them these days, but I guess I'm still compelled. Thanks so much for your understanding, and have a good night!

[iamthecomet]

I always feel bad for coming in here and just ranting about my problems, cause I know yet aren’t that bad but I can’t really talk to anyone in person here about them and I just feel a little bit better talking here because I feel it’s actually genuine.

But have you ever had someone pray on your down fall, or unknowingly do it? If that makes sense… but I’ve had ppl say they truly didn’t think I’d make it this far, to my face, and weirdly enough I could handle it. I took that and pushed my way to get athletic and academic scholarships. But just now for a project we had in physics only one person in our group had to turn it in, which the professor didn’t say that so we were all working on it. But when we figured it out they called and told me cause I was still working on it but I had don’t all the graphs and formulas and sent it so I could help them out. I asked if they got them and they go “uhhh yeah imma be honest, they weren’t right…” UM HELLO. Thanks for telling me before I turned it in?!?

Like it won’t hurt my feelings if you tell me I’m wrong, give me some advice on how to do it right, but it DOES hurt knowing that your weren’t going to tell me and let me get a bad grade. Thanks. That right there made me lose all trust in those two girls. Girls that I’m taking multiple classes with and am also on the same team with.

I know you get a lot of ppl who like to talk and tell you what’s going on in life, and I think it’s because YOU are a TRUSTWORTHY person, a GENUINE person who wants what’s best for people. So thank you, and all the other online friends for being some of the few people who are like that, holy shit. I know I’m being dramatic but right now I can’t tell if I’m more pissed or sad that it all happened.

But PLEASE distract me tell me all the things in your life right now, good or bad, if you’d like. Tell me fun things that have happened or things you’re excited about!! I’d love to know if you’re doing amazing:)🖤🖤

Holy shit, Mo. In all genuine honesty, fuck those people. Like, seriously. I'm sorry that you have to do so much with them. I think people are so afraid of conflict that they unintentionally create it by being like this. Or maybe they just genuinely don't care--either way it's not a great way to live your life or communicate with other people. And it isn't a reflection on you it's a reflection on them. Ok, enough of that. My life? Christ, Mo. My life is BORING haha. Let's see, my library is planning a solar eclipse party for whatever day in October the partial Solar Eclipse is. We're BARELY getting any actual eclipse but we got sent five billion eclipse glasses and we love an excuse for programming. (And we're getting a full eclipse in April so this is our practice run). So that's going to be my fun work thing for the next couple of weeks! I saw one of my best friends over the weekend. I don't see her much anymore since she left her husband and moved in with her new boyfriend 2 1/2 hours away. But that's alright, she is SO MUCH happier. I made her a little dumpster fire crochet (she immediately named him Daniel). We judged the clueless out of staters for a few hours at a weird craft fair thing we went to, and then we went to the book store and got boba tea and it was just a really wonderful day. I'm in a writing group that's supposed to last from August-May and the end goal is to have a finished draft/self-published book by the end of it. So that is super exciting. I'm working on a story I've been trying to tell for YEARS. I'm just hoping to get it out of my head. It has nothing to do with fantasy, or smut, or ghouls. But I'm hoping it will help me process some shit. It's exciting, I am unmotivated, but I'll make it work haha. Everyone else in the writing group is like 10-40 years older than me so it is a WILD experience. I sort of feel out of place with all these "adults" who read their fancy literary books and I'm over here like "well...I...read books for fun so they have to be fun!" I feel like the dumb little kid in the room. Which I'm pretty used to at this point in my life. But I have faith in my own skill, and I've worked with the guy running it before in short story programs he's done and he has faith in my skill, so I am unbothered by being the weird young person in the room. I am worried that I'm going to get to May had have nothing to show for it--but eh, we'll see when we get there. Please never feel bad about coming to me to vent/talk. I'm glad you know that you can just come into my ask box and decompress from the bullshit. Everyone deserves a place like that. Sending you love and hugs if you want them. And, seriously, fuck those people.

[jackienautism]

Saw your latest post and I just want to add that the people who do ship Charlie/Du'met are some of the most toxic people I've seen in SMG fandom. If you dare to bring up the issues with their ship (Especially in the way it overtakes the WOC wlw ship AND the other interracial ship) they'll attack you about it 💀

And not only do they act like this (most of the time) but the fact that they're more willing to ship a man with the guy who is TRYING TO KILL HIM AND HIS EMPLOYEES over the actual romantic relationships in the game is insane to me. People will ship the most horrendously toxic mlm ship before even thinking about the canon wlw ship and it's infuriating. Funny thing is I liked Charlie just fine before but these people are making me hate him lmao

Sorry if i'm rambling I just have a LOT of thoughts on this ship

Oooooh yeah that's not surprising to me 😭 of course the shippers of an inherently bad pairing are going to bad themselves LMAO so sorry if youve ever had to deal w/ any of them in that way :/ i remember seeing something happen under a mutuals post (lazylesbianbear hiii) and its just.... things really start to show when they get SO defensive over someone giving (well deserved, mind you) criticism for their pairing. it sucks that they attack over something like that bc it shows how guilty they are lmao. it shows that they truly and honestly dont care abt those issues OR the fact that their ship is overtaking erin / jamie and mark / kate (who i totally forgot were a pairing for a sec. sorry mark and kate) aka 2 pairings that are LEAGUES above whatever charlie / dumet is. what im saying is, they dont give a fuck abt poc or women, even if they try their best to "prove" it

IT IS INSANE !!!!! AND ITS SOOO SAD..... we already get jack shit in terms of representation (both wlw and interracial relationships) so of course its gonna suuuuck so bad when the most popular pairing is some serial killer and his victim. but i suppose i expect nothing less of fandom :/ and you're right, they'll gravitate towards the worst / most lackluster mlm pairing before ever even considering a wlw one, let alone w/ woc. and its so disappointing. sorry that these ppl have made you dislike charlie a lot more than before though. ive experienced the same shit so you're def not alone in that

and no no worries! you're def not rambling, all of your points are super valid and deserve to be talked about. if you ever have more to say, even though i have not played the game yet, my inbox / messages are always open. hope you have a good day!

[algerian-lady]

When I saw this in my country's tag I was like HahahaHahahahaha so funny!! How dare Algeria gang up with nasty people against the defenseless 'only democracy in the middle east'?!? I had to block that person because God knows they'd kill me from laughters pretty soon at this rate.(that and I block every zionist I come across obv)

But since they had the audacity to go for my country's tag, I believe it's the perfect occasion to put on some light (a reminder) on the current situation in the UN.

Whoever the fuck this person is, had randomly chosen Algeria, ignoring that no it's not a country that gets often heard or ever recognized, nor does it have any lobby like the zionist entity does. On the other hand, We have seen what that zionist lobby had been able to do, how the zionist lobby had interffered in many major conflicts across the world, especially in the third world, that is very easy to check.

What is happening in reality is that the zionist entity spurts out laughable bullshit whenever they talk in the UN, they don't take the UN seriously, they ever destroyed the UN charts inside the UN, they don't bother respecting the members and laws or the decisions, they just say the most dumb incoherent shit that has nothing to do with the current discussion. If it was any other entity, it'd have been kicked out long ago, in fact, we are working to get it kicked out soon enough, inchallah.

Secondly, my country does not talk in vain, it respects UN charts and international laws, always defends oppressed countries. Once again there's no comparaison to be made between a country that had fought for its liberation from western powers and a just world and a country which was created out of the lobbying of those same western powers, a country which stood with apartheid when ours had been strongly against it. A country which had interfered into Africans affairs and conflicts when ours was against it and prefers solving all conflicts peacefully. There's no similarities between how we came to be, what we stand for, who we support. And where that entity came from, what they stand for and who back them up as well as who they support.

Thirdly, if more than 170 countries worldwide would simultaneously vote against 'Israel', it wouldn't be because they 'flattened the earth' , those 170 countries aren't dumber than those elite 33 remaining. If the whole world is turning against 'Israel' it may be because it is clear as day to everyone except yourselves that you are a corrupt settler colonial entity, that is killing people for sports, even the remaining 33 countries do not express the desire of their own ppl which continue to apologize for their country's corruption, as we see everyday. The free ppl of this earth know your truth, they know your crimes and are against them, on varying degrees. But whatever decisions they make, or resolutions they create fail to express the degree of atrocity of this colonization, they are not even passed, do you know why?

The joke and irony of this, is that despite that 170 out of 200 votes are objectively against you, that 95% of the world vote for something, that thing still doesn't happen, the decision is still cut short by one nation, the resolution either doesn't pass or isn't applied. And this ladies and gentlemen is the world we live in. This is supposed to be democracy, it's the countries that pretend to spread democracy that show us the best example of democracy. How a few spoiled western white supremacist countries get to decide for the majority of the world and that is supposed to be normal.

Not only that, that minority gets to shit on you afterwards, getting their way all the time isn't enough. They kill Palestinians then stops anyone from complaining about it by crying crocodile tears of injustice. Real injustice is happening, nobody is doing anything about it.

[maggieqp]

it’s happening again.

back in October majority of the ppl in my friend group planned a Halloween party, which I was originally invited to. But later was uninvited without any fucking notice, because I’m surrounded by assholes ya know. Claiming “ there was too many people coming already, and you would’ve been late anyway”. But I was fine with that I let it slide, acting like everything was perfectly normal.

Then there was a thanksgiving party, which I was invited to and did attend, still feeling a bit unwelcome by some people but otherwise it was okay. Finally feeling like everything was going good again.

now it’s fucking Christmas time, well they’re hosting a Christmas party which again I am invited too. I thought everything was fine until this morning. Sitting in the holding area at school two of my friends and I have this conversation.

p” did you see they added H to the Xmas thing”

B”yes I saw that”

me”no I didn’t let me check” the group chat was originally on snap so I check there, and there’s nothing.

me”no I don’t see anything, is it on text?”

p”yes”

me”oh well I’m not on it” at this point my chest starts to hurt and it hasn’t stopped all day.

B”I’ll text A (the host) and let her know to add you”

me”okay cool”

after that we all go on with the conversation, then in homeroom me and B have this conversation.

After building up a lot of courage.

me”hey can you text A and ask if I’m supposed to be on that group chat?”

b”of course” and B texts A, I don’t know what B texted her but I trust B a lot so I don’t think it was anything bad.

me”because I’m an over thinker can you also say that if I’m not supposed to be on there that it’s okay”

b”yes I will”

then we all go on with our day, and everything is fine expect my fucking head it spinning and my chest hurts.

later in art class me and B have another conversation.

Me”question, is PP on that gc?”

b”no”

adding some context PP is a bully who is still in our friend group for some reason, and A originally invited her as a joke.

me”oh ok”

b”yes can you imagine if she just showed up”

after this conversation it made me feel like they were treating me like PP, as if I had done something wrong to them. Even though I have never once talking shit about them to anyone but myself I am so fucking nice to them when I shouldn’t be because they are a bunch of shallow bullies who only care about the self’s.

I am so fucking tired of their shit, I just want it all to stop because I am at my fucking breaking point. And nobody fucking cares, I absolute love B with all my heart. But today I was dropping hints to her that I am not okay and she just took them as jokes, which is fine because that’s how I was presenting them. But I am not okay, and I can’t do this anymore. But I know if I say a single bad fucking things about any of them that they will funding crucify me especially one of them names BW. she has admittedly had a bad year but so have I, and all everyone seems to care about is how her year is going. And ya know what she’s always in some type of fucking drama and has attempted to spread shit about me. Saying I was talking bad about her at lunch, even though I wasn’t even present at the lunch she was talking about so I quickly shut her ass down in the nicest way possible.

another bit of context during homecoming there was a huge divede in our friend group and BW was at the center of it, this is where she said I was talking about her. And while the situation has mended it is still not the same at all.

like this whole situation at homecoming really fucked me up because I want to be friends with all of them, but it felt like I had to pick sides every fucking day. To the point I had a fucking anxiety attack in public, but of course no one cares about that. No one cares how stuff affects me because they are too busy thinking about the’ self’s when I have spent my whole fucking life thinking about other people and how to make them happy.

And you know what I’m done messaging people first when I think they’re angry at me, no more damage control, no more letting them walk all over me. I’m fucking done.

but at the end of the day. Although everyone who has seen my previous post, and myself know that I will change nothing, I have written so many posts about how fake my friends are and how I’ll cut them off. But I never fucking do because I’m fucking pathetic as shit.