#and I struggle to retain conversations
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battleshot ¡ 2 years ago
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Small health update !!
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star-mum ¡ 10 months ago
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so I'm back on my weeb bullshit and by that I mean I'm studying japanese again and things !!! are !!! happening !! i can see progress !!!
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peapod20001 ¡ 2 years ago
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Currently metaphorically banging my head and fists on the wall cus the only person that I can fully articulate my thoughts and feelings with is my own brain sooo :,)
#vent#bro.. BRO#I can only do so much in this world. I can only do so much#I have no real knowledge at ALL about how to go about living on my own... maybe it’s and easier process than it’s made out to be but idk#it’s not something I’d be able to do NOW but yknow. it’s a thought#kinda iffy on the whole idea though seeing as I’m like the universally liked member of the household#that’s not a bragging thing that’s a legit fact and it’s pressuring sometimes lol#I’m the go-to person when somebody needs to talk with someone. I know every side of everything. I hear EVERYTHING#hell even people OUTSIDE of my household tell me shit. and I carry that shit to my GRAVE but it allows me to point out things or give advice#ironic how I’m the one who shares advice huh? seeing as I don’t know anything haha it’s mostly my fault. I’m not the most adept or receptive#person sometimes. at least when I was younger. now it’s mostly the fact I have trouble retaining things in my mind#it’s smth I’m trying to work on. I work on/ have worked out LOADS of things. mostly smaller things but things nonetheless#why does every other member of my household still have trouble with figuring things out? is it really so hard to not yell at your children#when they aren’t doing what you’d like? isn’t it an easy thing to watch what you say to people? to hear yourself? to not make such a big#dramatic deal out of something that can be worked out in civil conversation? is violence ever good? are snide comments good? is pushing and#pushing and pushing someone to do something good? how am I right in one instance when correcting my brothers posture but completely out of#line the next??? seriously these people got some issues and I know I do too but at least I have the capacity and ability to deal with them#sometimes they’re right tho. if they catch me slacking or picking my skin I don’t mind the reminder to do better#I hate when it’s made out to be some horrible thing tho. that my hands are ugly because I’m picking them on purpose to piss people off and#NOT the fact that this is an issue I’ve been struggling with since AT LEAST age 5 and I’ve been working on it all the time and it hurts but#then i use the pain as punishment because I should know better by now. I’m completely off topic at this point but. yknow. family or whate#sometimes I do think about leaving and getting a roommate or whatever to show that hey! here’s how you have a functioning household where#people aren’t at each other’s throats metaphorically or literally! it’s possible I swear! I know! I’ve seen it!#if we try hard enough I’m sure someone won’t die either by their own hand or someone else’s#WOOF yea I have mixed feelings about talking about myself or my home life but today is just. one of those thinking days yknow? just gotta#power thru and then I can go to sleep. funny how that’s a thing I yearn for these days. I’m getting older lol
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kelaeri ¡ 2 months ago
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The Many Languages of Dick Grayson
Apparently, according to Nightwing #54, he can speak 12, so I went on a little quest to see just how many I could identify.
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Starting off with The Essential Batman Encyclopedia, the entry for Dick Grayson lists him as being trained in French, Spanish, Russian, Japanese, Mandarin, and Cantonese with having some proficiency in an unknown Romani dialect. Given there are multiple examples of him speaking these languages throughout the comics, I am inclined to trust this claim. To start, we've got several examples of French (Gotham Knights #14, Detective Comics Annual #12, Nightwing #73, Grayson #10-- also featuring Spanish)
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In Grayson #1 he speaks Russian only briefly, but in Detective Comics #36 he speaks it throughout.
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As far as the Chinese languages go, while I believe Dick can speak Mandarin and/or Cantonese fairly well (Batman/Superman World's Finest #3), his Hanzi recognition and literacy could use some work.
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Similarly, when the Titans head off to Japan in Titans Annual #1, we have Nightwing speaking Japanese in battle; however, when it comes to the prospective job of being a manga translator in Nightwing #125, he claims he doesn't know Japanese, which leads me to believe he is only proficient in speaking Japanese/Chinese and struggles with the writing systems.
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So what about the languages not covered in the encyclopedia? To start, we have another romance language: Italian (Nightwing #72).
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Followed by some alleged German (Nightwing #51, JLA #44)
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And conversations in Farsi (Robin #175)
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While I've seen some Tumblr and Reddit posts claim he knows Kikuyu, The Power Company: Manhunter #1 only says he "brushed up" on his Kikuyu before going to Kenya, so it is unknown how much of the language he actually speaks, but to me it doesn't seem likely to be a lot.
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He also, to some unknown degree, speaks Tamaranean-- at least enough to hack into an alien computer (Action Comics #842).
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As far as unspoken languages go, Dick is fluent in ASL, which is proven numerous times when he communicates with Jericho (New Teen Titans 1984).
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And lastly, the two languages that remain rather uncertain are Romani and Cant-- largely due to the nature of the languages themselves and their representation in comics. "Romani," for instance, has several different dialects, and when Devin Grayson introduced it for Dick (Gotham Knights #20-21, Nightwing #91), she never specified which, and based on the lines she wrote, her research into the language was questionable at best. Writers since have recognized Dick's Romani heritage, but have not otherwise suggested he retained much of the language to be considered fluent.
Cant is an even wider term than Romani and can be seen as more of jargon for a particular language than a language itself, sometimes even being called a "pseudo-language." The colloquial term for American circus cant is Carny, or "Carny speak" as Boston Brand puts it in Batman: The Brave and the Bold #14 when he and Nightwing encounter a kid who speaks it.
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So... this leaves us with 11 languages Dick has notable proficiency in: English, French, Spanish, Italian, Russian, German, Japanese, Mandarin, Cantonese, Farsi, and ASL. And ~3 languages he has unknown proficiency in: Tamaranean, Kikuyu, Romani, and Carny/Cant (if you want to count it).
Maybe memory-loss Dick was including either Tamaranean or Kikuyu in that count from Nightwing #54, or maybe he knows some other language we haven't seen yet. Given how close the family is to the Al Ghuls, I personally think it would be cool if one of them was Arabic.
But anyway, hope you enjoyed this post! A lot I've seen covering this topic are very surface-level and label some of his more iffy languages as "fluent," so I hope this cleared things up. I've read tons of Nightwing, and I swear there are more examples, but sifting through the 1,000+ comics I've read of him is a lot haha. If y'all know of some others, let me know!
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akutasoda ¡ 2 months ago
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'do you think that this, us, ever could be something more'
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synopsis - you both have painfully obvious feelings for eachother but both of you are hesitant to take that step until they decide to brave their feelings and confess in their own way
includes - dr ratio, argenti, jiaoqiu, aventurine
warnings - gn!reader, fluff, slight angst (mainly aventurine), pining, wc - 2.2k
a/n: guys i promise im working on requests :))
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dr ratio ★↷
ratio detested you, namely the way you constantly refuted his words and theses. nonetheless, he adored nothing more than seeing you everyday - he'd say you were the one competent mind to converse with in an average day but you both knew deep down that it was purely because you enjoyed each other's company.
your friendship with the doctor was one of the most unlikely, others at the intelligentsia guild couldn't imagine anyone developing more than a simple coworker relationship with ratio. to some, even maintaining something as simple as a coworker relation was an arduous task.
however, you never saw the issue. ratio was a dear friend, it's merely the fact that he naturally gave off a rather off-putting first impression thanks to his slightly gloomy and eccentric nature. deep down he still retained these qualities but he could be a lot more caring in his own way.
although, for all his intellect, ratio struggled to maintain a grasp on his own emotional intelligence. a fact that could maybe be said for you as well, although compared to ratio you simply didn't know how to, or even if you should bring up the undoubtedly growing feelings for the doctor.
ratio knew what he was feeling, simply a release of oxytocin that caused those fuzzy feelings when he was around you. however he couldn't quite piece together the idea of you being behind those feelings, why your friendship wasn't enough, longing for something more than what you two currently had.
he'd never confide in anyone about his dilemma - he didn't need unwanted outsiders budging in on his personal issues. although, ever since he started looking for solutions, he started noticing signs that had previously gone unnoticed. namely how you acted around him.
a major concern between two crushes is the possibility of unrequited feelings. veritas would prefer to avoid such mistakes and push any potential feelings away if that was the case. so he often dwelled on the possibility of such. but it appeared that all the signs he misconstrued as friendly gestures and behaviour from you, could in fact be taken as more romantic.
he observed more as he had to be one hundred percent and in his quest, his mind slowly became more aware of his own feelings and why they only seemed to blossom more around you. ratio hated it. his feelings were like a gnawing feeling, constantly playing on his brain and it got to the point where he couldn't focus on his research - he would blame you, but he blamed himself more.
veritas knew he had to do something about it. and so he did. ratio was never one to beat around the bush, and so he took a direct approach to his confession - as soon as he could, he sought you out and told you about his feelings. relief washed over the doctor's unknowingly tense form when you told him about reciprocating such feelings.
you couldn't help but note his slight embarrassment afterwards, made evident by the heavy blushing which he quickly covered up by wearing his plaster head.
argenti ★↷
the encounter between the two of you among the cosmos was one of the more fortunate ones. a fleeting moment within the universe that set a start for the tale of a friendship that would last practically forever.
in his opinion, meeting you on his journey felt like a blessing from idrila themselves. in argenti’s eye's you were practically breathtaking in any way, everything about you from your mere presence to your voice to your appearance. it was only natural that he wanted to know more about someone such as yourself - and he was forever grateful he indulged his curiosity.
a blossoming friendship was easily formed between the two of you, one that had solid foundations to continue headstrong, even becoming something more should that be the path you took together. for all his charms, argenti made a true friend - someone that was always there for you in your corner, supported you, a pure soul that listened intently, someone that cared.
and for someone that seeked the aeon of beauty, it was hard for him to miss seeing the beauty of which were his feelings. flurries of emotion that could hold a powerful grip on someone's heart and actions if left unchecked and untended to. so as soon as those signs of warmth and calmness appeared strongly around you, argenti knew what it was.
that infatuation and pure admiration for you could only suggest that he subconsciously longed for something more than a friendship. in truth, argenti was devoted to idrila. he found beauty in practically everything, followed idrila’s teachings diligently and so he never truly imagined having someone else in his life that meant more to him than an aeon he devoted his life to.
but it couldn't be ignored, those feelings couldn't be left to simmer in the back of his mind as deep down he knew he wasn't content to sit by and keep the current relationship with you - although if that was what you wished, he would gladly sacrifice his own feelings just for you. however argenti was one to take risks.
a direct approach to voice the beauty of his feelings for you, should you decline them then so be it, but he wouldn't know until he tried. comoared to his usual gestures which could often be described as “grand” or “charasmatic”, a confession from him would be noticeably more gentle and intimate.
a moment of pure safety, he'd waste no time in reciting to you exactly what he wanted to say with a smile of lovestruck fondness as he presented you with a rose, all the thorns layed upon it's stem signalling the dedication and sacrifices he'd be willing to make for you - it's petals in full bloom.
jiaoqiu ★↷
being friends with jiaoqiu was never easy, although nobody exactly said it was easy. the pink foxian had the tendency to be rather cunning, mischievous even, and these traits only seemed to double when you actually got closer to him.
however, some could argue that eventually one would get used to jiaoqiu and everything he'd do or say - to an extent, they wouldn't be wrong but it still never made it any easier on most days. (un)fortunately you still put up with him as he was still a dear friend in the end.
jiaoqiu did have people he acquainted with or even people he was friendly with but ultimately he still had very few he would truly refer to as friends. he spent most of his time serving his dedication to helping the merlins claw and that was mainly his sole priority, jiaoqiu was determined to treat her.
so naturally, those closest to him did end up being those close to feixiao in the first place. yet he still found time to spend with those he held dearest, which was either you or moze and feixiao.
however, it didn't go unnoticed to either you or jiaoqiu that there was something there. something that couldn't be described as a simple friendly relationship, yet neither of you addressed it and continued on with your lives as if that feeling wasn't there in the slightest.
jiaoqiu knew very well that he longed for something more with you. you were the only person which drew out these warm feelings from him that had been killed during his time in the field and yet you had a way of bringing them back to him.but he simply couldn't cime to terms with it.
he'd withdraw from practicing medicine once before due to a broken heart, and deep down a part of him feared that you would make that a second time. so he tried to drown away those fuzzy feelings and tell himself over and over that you two were simply just friends, nothing more despite the clear longing urge to be that made him feel an immense sadness at the idea of never being something more.
and so jiaoqiu was hesitant. he wasn't dumb and he knew exactly how he felt for you, and he even could pick up on the way that you felt the same but somewhere in his mind he'd convinced himself that it was simply his own wishful thinking, not your true feelings. however, his hesitancy couldn't last much longer as he cursed you for affecting his work.
he'd be more of a fool to continue on without coming to grips with his blaringly obvious feelings for you, he knew it would eventually eat him from the inside out. and so jiaoqiu would begrudgingly find a way to confess, still letting that nagging fear affect just how he'd do so.
he'd catch you in the morning, handing you a personal meal for lunch like he occasionally did when he had free time in the morning. except this time, your gaze would immediately notice the small note tucked away within, one that you wasted no time in reading it's contents.
a part of him regretted giving you a note as the anticipation weighed heavy upon his mind, but otherwise he knew his nerves would've got the best of him. jiaoqiu specified in the note about his feelings, and how if you were to reciprocate them then you should come find him. this way he could avoid the painful rejection if it so came to that. until then, he waited in anticipation, still fearing your answer.
aventurine ★↷
he had coworkers, he had business partners who lways got the short end of the straw in a deal with him, and he had acquaintances. someone could even say they were the bare minimum for being a good use as stoneheart for the IPC. however, he did have some people that were closer than that, namely veritas and you.
and to reach that level with him was no easy feat. the man known as aventurine had put up many walls, facade after facade all in order to keep what little of himself left safe. the small parts of him left untouched by experiences that were painfully his and yet he could fool himself into believing that they belonged to an identity that no longer existed.
sometimes ‘aventurine’ didn't feel like him. it wasn't. if anything it was another defense that the past identity had let be forced upon him to help scramble for something good in his life. for someone blessed with luck, it never felt like it.
but his luck finally brought him something pure, something that finally felt like luck. and that was meeting you. a light that shined ever so brightly in his life despite all else, evoking feelings from him that he swore he buried when he bid goodbye to his past self. yet you dredged them from the darkest depths of himself, the parts that he feared and constantly kept hidden from himself.
however, old habits die hard. the very moment aventurine became conscious of what had bubled to the surface of his facade, he desperately tries to push them away. those warm, fuzzy feelings that he felt around you meant only weakness to him - something that you could choose to exploit.
his feelings were merely a chip. a means to use and manipulate at his disposal. they got in the way majority of the time, they could reveal ones desires or wants unknowingly and that never led to anything prosperous - especially in a high stakes gamble. but they were a chip for him and him only.
nevertheless, how could he possibly ignore them any longer when it seemed that his own brain was working against him. it made him feel all the more vulnerable, especially because of the idea of him confronting them just to have his heart painfully stomped upon and have his feelings left to painfully mull over into bitter sadness and reject.
fortunately, aventurine was quite the adept one at reading other people - a skill he'd learnt very quickly. so the hopeful part of him observed how you acted around him, picking up on the obvious signs that he previously misconstrued as friendly or simply ignored. eventually, he decided that the gnawing feeling needed to be sorted.
and so aventurine decided it was best to finally let down those final walls and comfess. because he was putting himself in a vulnerable position, he would get straight to the point. people may guess that he would go all out for a confession but that would be the last thing he'd do.
admittedly he let a small part of his fear get the best of him but he would still build up the courage to request to see you and confess face to face. he truly didn't know what he would do if you turned him down but he'd figure that out if it happened. it wouldn't go unnoticed by you that he held one hand behind his back at all times during his confession - the only time in ages that he'd been completely honest with his feelings to someone he trusted.
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taglist - @little-miss-chaoss, @frankiesteinn
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crushmeeren ¡ 30 days ago
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࿐ part two of vampire week little bats! i’m sorry if this seems rushed, I struggled a little with it. anyways, eat up inumaki’s version with me! shinsou’s version can be found here.
࿐ master list link ⇢ ⇢ ⇢ ⋆ FEM READER ⋆
⋆ ⬪ KINKS/THINGS INCLUDED ࿐ biting, exhibitionism, a bit of blood play, mild body horror?, Toge uses his cursed speech during sex and reader is very on board.
⋆ ⬪ in this version, inumaki can speak without using only the fillings of onigiri as communication. he’s still a man of few words, and he still retains his cursed speech power, but he does speak and I will be taking no criticism about it thank you.
⇢ ⇢ ⇢ @sikuthealien ࿐ kinktober master list
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┊ ༝ ᭝ ༝ short summary ༝ ᭝ ༝ ┊ ‣ ‣ ‣ ‣ Being the only vampires in your specific group of assassins, you and Toge get contracted out and sent into a vampires only club to pose as a couple and hunt down your next non paying target. Someone must slip something into Toge’s drink, because the next thing you know you’re being dragged into a “private room” and riding Toge until your thighs burn.
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If you still could get migraines, you’d certainly have one now.
Currently you’re sat in a booth at the shadiest club in town, miserable as you swirl your Bloody Mary with a straw. Your patience thins by the second, and you’re itching to go for a hunt, the sweet blood of a fresh doe like a sirens call. But no, you have to work.
Something that you would reluctantly call music pounds through distorted speakers all around you, and each step you’ve taken tonight had your heel sticking to the floor. Not to mention you’ve been stuck here for the past hour in a dress tight enough to suffocate.
Your annoyance only grows when you shift your weight, the jagged material of the booth snagging the hem of your dress as you pull it down. You give up with a frustrated groan when it immediately rolls back up your thighs.
A snort of laughter comes from across the table, prompting you to lift your head and shoot a glare at your partner. Toge wiggles his eyebrows, eyes alight with amusement as he watches you struggle, and you flip him off in return. The curse seals at the corners of his mouth crinkle when he laughs.
“Yeah sure, laugh it up Toge, at least my face isn’t painted like a clown,” you sulk, taking a long sip of your drink.
Toge grins, childishly sticking his tongue out at you, and it allows you a glimpse of the snake seal on his tongue. You deliberately do not think about how that very tongue was playing with your pussy a few hours earlier.
The two of you aren’t currently a couple, but you are fuck buddies, and that didn’t help your case whatsoever when you were chosen for this mission.
You’re both assassins, but you also happen to be the only two vampires employed at your agency. Most vamps you meet aren’t particularly fond of not being able to eat what they hunt down.
The boss recently received a contract from yet another client who has an insubordinate drug dealer working for him. Something about losing drugs or losing money, or both, not that you really give a shit.
But what truly makes this the perfect storm, is that the target is also a vampire. One who frequents a vampires only club. Your goal is to lure him in and then kill him as swiftly and silently as possible.
So here you are.
It’s not as if you had the option to decline. This is your job after all, and you’re going to get a decent payout. Plus, it gives you the chance to go on a date with Toge, even if it’s not technically real. You like him, he likes you, but you’ve both been putting off having a real conversation about it.
A wet plastic straw suddenly smacks your cheek, landing on the table and rolling a couple inches. It effectively draws you from your thoughts and makes your nose scrunch up. You hurl your straw at Toge out of reflex and he ducks it easily, giggling like a schoolgirl.
“What’s got you so distracted?” Your partner asks softly, bending down to sip obnoxiously at his drink as he peers up at you through long blonde eyelashes. He’s one of the prettiest men you’ve ever laid eyes on, and it’s difficult not to stare, but you manage to reluctantly tear your gaze away.
“Just thinking about getting this over with,” you say with a sigh, attention once again returning to Toge in time to watch him nod and hum in agreement as he sits up.
A comfortable silence falls between you, the bass of the music still thumping heavily in the background. You circle the rim of your glass with your finger, checking the entrance for the hundredth time, and then you freeze. Your eyes widen as you sit up ram rod straight.
There’s your target, waltzing in the front door as if he owns the place.
Toge tilts his head curiously and you nod minutely towards the entrance. He twists his upper half, pretending to scan over the bar top as he lets his gaze slide towards the front entrance. He stiffens when he spots the target, and then he’s turning to face you with an open yet excited expression.
You arch an eyebrow. “Ready?” You ask before chugging the rest of your drink.
Toge bobs his head yes and then scoots out of the booth to rise from his seat. He plasters on a sly smile and extends a hand towards you. You take it, standing gracefully and let Toge guide you to the dance floor.
The folder you’d briefly skimmed on the target, Yoshiro, stated that the man had a strange habit of seducing and luring other vampire couples into his bed. He’d drug them only to do god knows what to them afterwards.
You assume that explains the client’s unaccounted for drugs.
With that in mind, you let Toge twirl you once you hit the edge of the packed crowd on the dance floor. He’d led you to a spot that happened to be right in front of Yoshiro’s table.
Toge’s firm hands slide over your waist, gripping and pulling you until your ass is flush with his pelvis. You lean backwards against his chest, tangling your fingers with the ones resting on your hips. Toge lazily guides your hips with his, the sultry rhythm of the music helping him keep his slow pace.
You tilt your head back onto his collarbone, twisting your head until you can brush feather light kisses over the side of Toge’s throat. You can feel his answering moan vibrate throughout his chest.
Toge tightens his hold on your hips, pushing his already half hard cock into the swell of your ass, which amuses you greatly, and the blistering pulse of arousal in your lower belly forces you to remind yourself you’re on a mission. You raise your head, one of your hands coming up to tangle in Toge’s soft hair and glance at Yoshiro’s table.
He’s leering at the two of you as you grind, gaze dark and hungry when you send a flirty wink his way. You do your best to ignore the fact that having an audience as Toge plays with you notches your arousal up by a few levels.
Your part time lover bends down to nip playfully at your exposed throat, placing wet kisses over where your pulse would surely be pounding if you weren’t undead. You suck in a sharp breath, lids fluttering as heat shivers down your spine. You release his hair in favor of gripping one of his wrists.
You instinctively tilt your head to entice Toge into sinking his teeth in, which he knows you desperately want. He places the tips of his fangs to the junction between your neck and shoulder, applying just enough pressure so that your skin starts to give, but he doesn’t bite down. He won’t, at least not in public. It leaves you too vulnerable.
The lingering threat of being eaten alive by him tears a throaty moan from your chest before you can bury it. Toge groans softly in your ear, eagerly pressing his hips to your ass, and the sensation of his full cock twitching against you is like ice water being poured over your head.
You’re getting too carried away.
“Toge,” you whisper fiercely, snatching his hands as they sneak up under the hem of your dress. You spin to face him, arms looping around his neck and tits pushing into his chest. He gently settles his hands on your lower back and you give him a flat look now that Yoshiro can’t see your face.
“You’re no fun,” he pouts, lower lip sticking out. You roll your eyes, crowding in closely to place lingering kisses up his neck until you reach his ear.
“Stop getting distracted,” you murmur, moving down to nose at the space below his jaw. “We can fuck after we finish this.”
He huffs in protest but nods, slipping a leg between your thighs and readjusting his hands to grab handfuls of your ass. He leans down and places his forehead to yours, guiding you both to the heavy beat. His eyes slip shut as you nuzzle your nose against his, and you follow his lead when your lips start to barely brush.
Just as you’re erasing the distance with the intention of kissing him until his knees give out, a hand taps you on the shoulder. It startles the two of you into jerking back your heads, turning to stare at the newcomer.
It’s Yoshiro, standing there with a slimy smile on his lips.
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It’s easy enough to end up drinking at Yoshiro’s table, the three of you sipping various blood related cocktails. The worst part is Yoshiro’s horrible flirting and how often you have to swallow your disgust so you don’t punch his lights out.
“So,” Yoshiro begins, and your stomach fills with dread. “What would the two of you say to getting one more drink and moving the party to my place?”
You and Toge share a look.
This exactly what you were hoping for. Your goal is to isolate Yoshiro and then have Toge break out his cursed speech to paralyze him. Then, it’s as simple as staking him through the heart and leaving him outside to burn to ash once the sun rises.
“Sounds perfect to me, right baby?” You purr, sending Toge a coy smile as you run your hand over his bicep. Toge smiles wolfishly and nods. You turn your head back to Yoshiro with a quirk of your lips, watching his sleazy grin grow. Yoshiro says something about the last round being on him and then gets up and makes his way to the bar.
Toge’s slender fingers loosely circle your wrist as he leans in close to whisper in your ear, lips tickling your cartilage.
“When this is over baby,” he pauses to kiss the space right below your ear, “I’m gonna fuck you so hard.”
Your fingers curl into fists and your pussy aches in response. Toge releases you and pulls back before you can answer, and Yoshiro returns with your drinks. You grind your teeth together to keep from doing something stupid to ruin the mission.
“Here,” Yoshiro sets down a glass in front of each of you. “One for the lovely lady, and one for the pretty boy.”
They say hindsight is 20/20, and when you recall this moment later on, you realize that the two of you had fallen into Yoshiro’s trap. A false sense of security that had you dropping your guards, allowing you and Toge to become too wrapped up in each other because Yoshiro didn’t seem all that threatening.
Every other drink you’ve consumed tonight had been mixed in front of you by the bartender, but not this latest round.
It’s not as if you can get drunk, so you didn’t pay it much mind. You sip your drink lightly, but Toge tips his head back and downs it like a shot, and Yoshiro grins delightedly.
A few minutes go by and your thoughts start to get fuzzy along the edges. The knot you’ve been carrying in your neck all night has suddenly relaxed and you call out Toge’s name to ask how he’s doing, but he responds at a snails pace, twisting his neck and blinking slowly at you like he’s…
Like he’s drunk.
Your eyes grow wide, chest clenching as you watch Toge act so unlike the bright man you’ve come to know.
Fuck, what was in that drink? Did Yoshiro drug him?
One quick peak at Yoshiro confirms your suspicions. He’s eyeing Toge like he’s a piece of meat. The blonde perches his elbows on the table, pressing his face into his palms before dragging them upwards. He runs his hands through his hair and laughs without a care in the world.
Shit, okay so Toge’s definitely been drugged, and more than likely so have you, you just haven’t drank enough for it to affect you as badly. If you try to finish the mission and allow Yoshiro to take you home, there’s no way you’ll be able to fight him with your senses dulled. Especially not with Toge’s head in the clouds.
Fuck, fuck — you are going to get in so much trouble, but ultimately you care more about Toge than about your job. Fuck it.
“Toge,” you call firmly, reaching out to squeeze his shoulder. He abruptly drops his hands and leans back in his chair, gazing at you with the warmest expression you’ve ever seen him wear. He brings a hand up to briefly bite the tip of his finger as if he can’t hold in his excitement, sharp fangs poking out as he smiles.
“Hi baby,” he giggles, crowding in close with what looks like the intention of kissing you. You halt him with a hand on his chest, jaw clenching at the hurt the flashes across his face. You ignore him for the moment, shoving him back into his seat.
You twist in your seat, expression distorting with fury. The color of your eyes morph until they’re entirely black, dark veins snaking out from your eyes and down your cheeks. You place your hands on the table and rise to your feet, a menacing rumble starting up in your throat. Yoshiro’s head whips towards you in shock.
“You disgusting low life,” you say through gritted teeth. “What the fuck did you give him?”
Yoshiro jumps to his feet, stepping backwards and raises his hands in surrender.
“J-just an aphrodisiac! Nothing that will kill him, I swear! He’ll be dazed and horny for a few hours, that’s it!” He stutters, glancing towards the exit.
Your lip curls and internally you war against ripping Yoshiro’s head straight from his shoulders right here in the middle of the club. But you don’t want to let Toge out of your sight.
“So this is some kind of roofie, isn’t it? You sick fuck,” you spit, hands clenching into fists as your head spins. Yoshiro nods and your stomach rolls with nausea. You’re going to hunt him down and murder him the next chance you get, but right now you can’t leave Toge like this.
“Get the fuck out of my sight before I stake you right here,” you demand, pointing a sharpened nail at the exit. Yoshiro knows better than to argue, because he’s gone within the second. Your shoulders sag, and you drop into the chair next to Toge. You rub your eyes with the heels of your palms to encourage them back to normal.
When you shift your gaze back to Toge, he’s staring at you in confusion, expression open and concerned. You ask him if he’s okay, and he opens his mouth to respond but then he freezes. Toge curls in half with a gasp, one hand fisting his shirt and the other gripping the edge of table so roughly it starts to warp.
“Toge!” You shoot to your feet and in front of him in an instant. Your fingertips brush his shoulder and Toge’s head whips up so quickly you think his neck might break.
His eyes mirror the way yours previously had been, pitch black and soulless. A chill rushes down your spine and instinctively you take a step backwards but Toge’s vicious snarl stops you. He grips your wrist so tightly your bones creak, yanking you close to shove his face into your stomach and locks his arms around your waist.
“Don’t leave.”
It’s muffled, but you can hear the clear edge to his voice, the tingle of his cursed speech at the back of your mind as it tries to take hold. Gingerly, you place your hands on his shoulders and squeeze reassuringly.
“I won’t,” you promise, and the point of his chin digs into your sternum as he stares up at you. You brush soft bangs off his forehead and watch his lids flutter, a satisfied rumble vibrating against your lower half.
The thumping club music serves only to irritate you further as you try to come up with a reason to convince Toge to retreat to the safety of your home and wait out whatever he’s been drugged with.
However, it takes a tremendous amount of effort to focus when Toge’s sneaky fingers inch up the hem of your dress. Before you can stop him he’s squeezing handfuls of your ass, exposing the barest hint of your pussy to the entire club.
“Toge stop,” you warn, pushing half heartedly at his shoulders. Your breath catches when he digs pointed nails further into your ass and hauls you so close you may as well sit down in his lap.
“I need you,” he pleads, rubbing his face back and forth into your sternum. Your head is fuzzy and his sweet begging shoots directly to your clit. You’re not opposed to it, but you’re pretty sure, at this point, you’re not making it out of here without taking his cock.
“At least let us go somewhere more private,” you protest weakly. And that seems to somewhat cut through the fog, because with wide eyes Toge glances past you to the still packed club and squeezes you possessively.
It doesn’t take much effort to find a “private room.”
Toge veers right at the end of a long hallway and pushes you through the first “door” he can find, said “door” being entirely made out of cheap plastic beads that hang from the frame.
Your arms flail trying to find your balance. When you’re able to steady yourself and turn to Toge, he’s already there. Lithe fingers curl at the back of your neck and tug you in for a bruising kiss. You use his shoulders for support and moan when he sucks harshly on your bottom lip. The slick press of his tongue on yours skyrockets your lust, urging you to move faster, to hurry.
You break the kiss, tongue dragging across your lower lip, and move to cradle his jaw. He tracks the movement with half lidded eyes before his gaze flickers up to yours, hands coming raising to lightly hold your wrists.
“I want to suck your cock Toge, can I?” Your thumbs brush over his seals affectionately.
Toge whines, squeezing his eyes shut, and when they flash open he nods, dark gaze starving. You don’t waste time, kicking off your heels and dropping to your knees, making sure to stare up at him as you undo his pants. You hook your fingers in his waistband to pull them down mid thigh, doing the same to his briefs and letting them rest just under his balls.
Toge’s tip gets caught on the material, cock bobbing free and standing proud right in front of your mouth. The blonde vampire chomps down onto his lip so hard it splits, a sluggish trickle of dark blood trailing down his chin. He uses one hand to carefully smooth the hair out of your face and into a makeshift ponytail, resting the other on your shoulder.
You support yourself on his bare thighs, bending down slightly to place the flat of your tongue in between his taught balls and unhurriedly drag it all the way up his shaft. You lick the bead of precum leaking from his slit and salt bursts over your tongue.
Toge’s husky moan echoes in the room, gripping your hair so roughly it makes your scalp scream with pain. You suck in a sharp breath, your lover’s noise of pleasure causing a wave of something possessive to fill your brain.
You don’t think twice before you strike.
You brush your lips over the side of Toge’s shaft, loving the way he twitches, and then you tilt your head to fit your mouth on his inner thigh. You suck the skin briefly, then your fangs are sinking past skin and into muscle as smooth as butter.
Toge jolts, letting out a strangled scream, and practically rips the hair from your scalp as he cums. Your eyes widen in shock, a searing pain prickling at the back of your skull and you slide your teeth free. There’s sticky ropes of cum on your shoulder and some pooling on the floor.
You pull back to look up at Toge with raised eyebrows and he smiles sheepishly, shrugging. Your tongue darts out to taste the blood welling on his thigh and his still hard cock jerks against your cheek, apparently still interested.
Toge pulls on your hair and urges you to stand up, softening his iron grip on your hair as you do so. He leans forward and licks the sticky release from your shoulder, pulling a breathy moan from you.
Toge kisses over the cleaned area and up your throat, pausing at your ear.
“Ride me.”
The cursed command feels like fingers prodding and gripping at your brain to control your movements. The excited thrill that races through you only heightens the sensation.
You push at Toge’s chest and he steps backwards, only to drop down heavily on the lumpy couch a few feet away. He swiftly unbuttons his dress shirt to allow it to hang open, stiff cock resting pretty on his lean lower belly.
Your limbs are commanded by invisible strings as you straddle Toge’s lap, hands resting on his shoulders as he bunches your dress up around your hips. He holds the back of your thighs and helps you rise to your knees.
One hand steadies the base of himself, and automatically you begin sinking down when the blunt tip of his cock lines up with your pussy.
The stretch is blissful, and it has your nails sinking into his shoulders as your ass meets his thighs. The full sensation makes your pussy clench tight and Toge tips his head onto the backrest with a bitten off moan, hands readjusting to support your ass.
The weight of his cursed command still lingers, and you get to work bouncing on his cock at a steady pace. The friction is toe curling, and Toge’s gaze is glued to where he disappears inside you.
A few minutes more sees your thighs burning, pussy starting to flutter the closer you get to the edge. Toge is restless underneath you, thumb finding its home on your swollen clit and rubbing messy circles into it.
You cry out his name, the knot in your gut coiling tenfold.
“Fuck! Toge, oh god, you’re gonna make me cum!” You hold tight to his shoulders and ride him desperately. Toge shifts to hold your hips and thrusts upwards the next time you sit down, striking you g-spot dead on.
“Cum for me,” he demands, yanking you down into his lap. You slip over the edge, stars bursting behind your eyelids as you grind your hips back and forth, pressing him perfectly against your g-spot.
You didn’t realize your eyes had closed until they flicker open again, Toge sitting up and desperately pushing his face into your throat. He bites down without remorse into the junction of your neck and shoulder, moaning as his cock jerks and stuffs you full.
You wail, the pain searing when his jaw clenches out of reflex.. Toge stays still for a moment, then slowly slides his fangs free and you go limp in his hold. Your weight presses him into the back of the couch and you groan when your forehead knocks into his.
Toge rubs his thumbs over your hip bones soothingly, and he hums when you press a soft kiss to his mouth. You allow yourself only a moment to relax before opting to rise off his cock and flop down next to him instead.
“Feeling better?” You ask, shifting your head to read his expression. He looks clearheaded, fucked out, but definitely clearheaded. Toge twists his neck and grins at you, eyes returning to normal.
“Much.”
After the two of you manage to clean and redress, you slip out the back exit of the club, preparing to face a very unpleasant phone call with your boss.
You’re instructed to “finish the damn job”, which you relay to Toge, but he stills you with a hand on your wrist before you go. You glance at him curiously.
“Be my girlfriend?”
You blink at him in shock, and then a slow grin worms its way onto your expression.
“Yeah,” you say with a playful shrug. “I’ll be your girlfriend.”
Toge smiles and shows off his pearly white fangs, the seals at the corners of his mouth scrunching.
When it’s all said and done, hunting the target down and completing the mission is easy, and afterwards Toge takes you by the hand and leads you to his home.
You decide your report can wait until your next shift.
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hannibals-favourite-meal ¡ 8 months ago
Note
Congrats Lou!!! I really love your works, maybe 22 w/ Clark Kent???
.⋆。Distractible。⋆.
Clark Kent x plus size reader
You’re a damn good distraction
Warnings: fluff, established relationship, kissing, teasing, implied smut
Minors DNI
Library- @hannibals-favourite-meal-library
5k follower celebration
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That damn dimple, it was fucking taunting you. The simple divot in Clark’s prominent chin that was just big enough for you to fit the side of your thumb into like it was made to do that. Sometimes it was covered by thick dark hair when he had gone a couple days without shaving and then your man would re-emerge from the bathroom and the dimple would return along with baby soft cheeks. 
And when Clark was generous enough to let you sit in his lap while he worked from his home office, the temptation was almost too much. It was his fault really, he should’ve known better to not be so absolutely delicious. His jaw flexed and shifted, keeping your hungry eyes trained on that stupid dimple. His broad chest rumbled with his words as he spoke on the phone so some colleague whose name you didn’t care to recall at this moment.
Suddenly, you couldn’t take it anymore. 
Your lips pressed softly to the small sliver of skin along his collarbone that his t-shirt didn’t cover. Clark’s large hand rested on your plush thigh, giving it a gentle squeeze. The next kiss was at the base of his throat, you loved the way you could feel his pulse beat against your tongue as you lapped at him.
You winced when his grip got a little too tight but you didn’t let that deter you from your mission. Your teeth grazed his Adam's apple and you smirked as it bobbed. Clark cleared his throat and apologised to whoever he was on the phone with. 
You nosed at his jaw, practically purring with happiness. You ran your hand up his front, revealing the firmness of his body against your palm. Then finally, your lips reached that perfect little dent in his chin and you were content.
You bit and kissed and sucked fully knowing that you would be unable to leave a mark on his flawless skin. You ignored the way your boyfriend attempted to subtly pry you away from him without alerting the person on the other end of the phone that something entirely not work appropriate was occurring. Yet you continued your little escapade, taking a kind of sick pleasure from teasing him like how he would do to you when you were trying to work.
Clark shifted in his office chair and it was easy to figure out why. The hard bulge in his sweatpants was now nestled perfectly between your legs and if you were to just move one more inch, he would be pressed against your panty-clad pussy. He shot you a warning glance but the way that his pupils were slowly consuming the blues of his eyes gave you all the motivation you needed to continue. 
“Hang up.” You muttered into his skin as you pressed your chest to his, letting him get a clear view of the way your tits squished into his pecs. Clark groaned silently, his eyelids fluttering as he struggled to retain some semblance of control.
His hand darted from your thigh to your jaw, forcibly pulling your lips from his skin and moved his phone away from his ear. “Stop kissing me for a minute, I’m trying to have a conversation. I promise I’ll take care of you in a minute, I just need to get this done.” You stuck your bottom lip out at him as best you could with your cheeks squished together by his massive hand.
“Take me to bed now and I’ll do that thing with my tongue.” 
“Sorry, I have to call you back later. Something just came up.” Clark had barely hung up the phone and tossed it onto the desk before you found yourself over his shoulder as he practically ran from the room, his booming footsteps making you giggle against his back. “You and your damn kisses.” He mock whined. You retaliated by landing quite a firm smack to his perky backside.
“Not my fault you’re so distractible.” His warning growl told you that you would be eating your words soon enough.
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slayfics ¡ 4 months ago
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Hawks in love with a reader who’s siblings with Tokoyami🐸
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Keigo worries about you.
Warnings: stalking
750 words
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Keigo rocked on his heels impatiently waiting for Fumikage to show. They were scheduled to head out on patrol seven minutes ago. While that wasn't largely behind schedule, it was out of the ordinary for Fumikage to be even a minute late. And for a hero like Keigo, seven minutes is a lot of time.
"My apologies Hawks," Fumikage said hurriedly approaching Keigo.
"Everything alright? Not like you to be late," Keigo questioned.
"Just some personal matters," Fumikage answered. "I won't let it happen again."
"No need to be so cryptic. Tell me what's going on," Keigo prompted, as he began walking down the street starting their patrol.
Fumikage let out a sigh, "I'd rather not... it's embarrassing."
"Awe come on, now I gotta know," Keigo said.
Fumikage anxiously adjusted his cape, "It's my sister."
Keigo felt his heart plummet and he struggled to retain his laid-back composure. Since getting closer to Fumikage, Keigo has met some of his family. Including you, Fumikage's sister. Keigo didn't know what it was, but he was instantly drawn to you, so much so that it was painful. It was almost comical that you had to be his sidekick's sister. If you were anyone else Keigo was sure he'd have no trouble at all admitting his feelings. Taking you out on all the fancy dates, ensuring you were always safe. But you had to be related to one of his employees, and not just his employee, his closest sidekick.
"What's going on with her?" Keigo asked.
Uncomfortable with the conversation Fumikage fidgeted again. "She and her boyfriend broke up. I was trying to comfort her before leaving for my shift."
Keigo's fist clenched slightly, "Is that so? She's better off without him anyway," he said casually, masking the rage that burnt inside him.
Fumikage nodded in agreement as the two walked on in silence. Keigo fought the impulse to ask more questions about you. Were you faring ok? What did that bastard do anyway? Did he hurt you?
The rest of the patrol dragged on. Nothing eventful, just the usual fans that stopped Keigo for a picture. He'd stop and smile, all the while thinking about you in the back of his mind.
Approaching the agency at the end of their shift, Fumikage quickly grabbed his things. "Heading out now, let me know if anything comes up," he said before leaving.
"Will do," Keigo said with a lazy wave. Unbeknownst to Fumikage they would both be headed to the same place.
As soon as Fumikage left the building, Keigo was off. Beating Fumikage to your place, he landed on the balcony quietly. Careful to peer in the window without giving away his presence.
It wasn't a stereotypical break-up scene with tissues everywhere and ice cream tubs out. In fact, to anyone else, it might look like nothing was wrong. You were sitting on the couch in comfy house clothes with some mindless television on. However, Keigo knew you better. He'd peeked into your window enough to know this was out of your routine.
It was Thursday at 6:19pm, which meant you should have been preparing dinner for yourself, while you danced around to whatever music caught your attention that week. Not watching some pointless show on the couch. Keigo felt the rage flare up inside him again at the thought of the breakup keeping you from your dedicated time to let loose. And he found himself missing the sight of your carefree dances.
What was he going to listen to during his workout now, he wondered? He made it a point to listen to whatever songs he heard you listen to that week. Not to mention the concern he now felt. Were you so upset that you weren't eating?
His teeth clenched as he fought back against the desire to knock and announce himself. Hold you in his arms and let you know just how much of a fucking idiot your ex was.
Relief washed over him when Fumikage entered your place with a pizza. Not nutritious food, but comfort food that he was sure you needed. Keigo pressed against the wall out of view from your window.
He waited to peak in again until he was sure Fumikage was out of sight of the balcony. Seeing you take a bite of a pizza slice he decided he was satisfied.
Mentally thanking Fumikage for taking care of you, Keigo decided to fly off. But not before leaving a feather or two on your balcony for good measure. Just to keep tabs on you.
Just in case.
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sinners: @unofficialmuilover @mintsbubbletea @starieqq @zworllyx
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astraystayyh ¡ 1 year ago
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We recently learned in our media class about the four indicators that reveal a country's use of propaganda to justify its actions/build a national and international consensus over its stance. This is exactly what Israel is doing now. Please read this to learn more about the Israeli propaganda (with sources) :
i. Establishing a distinct "us" versus "them"/"the others" divide: The Israeli media has been actively engaged in crafting a narrative that portrays Palestinians as sub-humans and animals, that deserve to be killed, butchered, and deprived of essential resources such as water, electricity and fuel. This dehumanizing narrative serves to rationalize the grave atrocities committed against Palestinians, reducing them to mere statistics, rather than acknowledging them as fellow human beings who have the right to be protected as well.
A recent example of this dehumanization (that encompasses children as well) is Israel's Prime Minister's words in a now-deleted tweet, on Oct 16, stating: "This is a struggle between the children of light and the children of darkness, between humanity and the law of the jungle."
This is also a common practice in Western media as a whole. In the context of conflict, the choice of words plays a significant role: Israelis are often described as "killed," and Palestinians are referred to as having "died" (example of BBC). The distinction can be seen as a way to omit Israeli responsibility, portraying the deaths of nearly 10,000 Palestinians as a result of circumstances beyond its control, rather than the outcome of deliberate and targeted actions.
ii. Use of emotion instead of logic: a stark example would be the whole international outrage that was first sparked due to the false claim that Hamas had beheaded 40 babies. This fake news was confidently shared by U.S. President Joe Biden, who later admitted that he had never actually seen any pictures of such events, neither did anyone in the IDF because there was never any instance of 40 beheaded babies (source) (also trust me if Israel did have any pictures of killed children they would not hesitate to share it)
CNN journalist who first shared this fake news has later apologized for being "misled." (which isn't the case that was a conscious choice of the news agency but that's another conversation)
Israel knew what it was doing by sharing this particular false information, they knew that the simple imagery of such a horrifying notion, even without concrete proof, would be a strategic tool to garner international support through emotional manipulation.
They are still trying to use emotion when it comes to children particularly to sway the public opinion : Israeli government spokesman has shared images of "fallen teeth of burnt children." This post has been debunked by dentists, pointing out many contradictions in the pics that conclude that these are props and not the teeth of actual children found in rubbles. (source)
(Meanwhile, there are factual documented videos and pictures of dead Palestinian kids and babies, decapitated, injured beyond belief, tangible proof of the war crimes Israel commits and yet the public outrage isn't the same, because Israel has already established that Palestinians are lesser people)
iii. Attempting to Influence Both Elites and Ordinary Citizens: In addition to their efforts to secure international support from world leaders, Israel has employed a multifaceted approach by spreading advertisements that regular civilians view. These ads serve to rationalize their actions, and they are strategically placed ahead of unrelated programming, including children's shows or games.
This tactic aims to integrate their ideology into various aspects of our lives, in order to promote their agenda and inundate us with recurrent pro-Israel messages. This strategy capitalizes on the psychological principle that the mind tends to retain information it encounters most frequently. (a more detailed video explanation)
iv. media manipulation tactics : For example, the night before Israel bombed the Baptist hospital in Gaza killing more than 1000 people, BBC published an article with the headline "Does Hamas build tunnels under schools and hospitals?" giving way to a "justification" for the heinous, war crime act that is bombing a hospital, under the guise of targeting Hamas hidden bases.
The use of the Israel-Gaza war as a headline for the news leads us to believe that this is a war with two equal (or slightly disproportionate) parties who are both able to defend themselves. Whereas this is a genocide led by Israel (a powerful military with international backing by the world's most powerful nations- U.S, U.K, France, Germany.. to cite a few) and CIVILIANS. Because those are the people that Israel is targeting, by bombing hospitals, schools, mosques, churches, refugee camps.
It is a genocide, an ethnical cleansing, an attempt to eradicate entire families, then to relocate the survivors out of Gaza, making it impossible for them to reclaim their land, and resulting in a total takeover of Palestine by Israel.
Another manipulation example (because there are so many) is the first and most prominent question that many Western journalists ask their guests: "Do you condemn the attacks of Hamas on Oct 7?"
This question completely disregards the root of this entire conflict, which is the 75-year ongoing colonization of Palestine. By omitting all the previous crimes against Palestinians that led to the attack (the killings, the wrongful imprisonments, the torture, the stealing of land…) these 'journalists' actively manipulate the public opinion, portraying the Hamas attack as unprovoked, when you cannot possibly expect a colonization to have 0 resistance.
And an honorable mention to the zionists who are trying to morph the anti-Israel stance into an anti-Jew one. This isn't about religion, I've said this once and I will say it again, Jews around the world are condemning the actions of their government. Just recently, Jews were arrested in NYC for standing against Israel. (source)
This is a humanitarian cause. We're humans, this is the one denominator factor that unites all. We read about previous genocides in history. We wondered how people could support the killings of innocent people, men and women, and children and babies. It is happening right now again, and media propaganda plays a significant role in shaping public perceptions.
I couldn't include everything here but please, I urge you to use your critical thinking. Don't believe everything the media tells you, and this is coming from a graduated journalist. We learn about propaganda and how to counter it, which also means we learn about how to manufacture it.
So don't be gullible, boycott the companies who support Israel (mainly HP, Siemens, AXA, Puma, Israeli fruits and vegetables, Sodastream, Ahava, Sabra. check BDS for more information) and urge your governments to support the ceasefire. We have a voice and we should use it, even if we're uncomfortable, even if we're scared. Do it. By staying silent you become complicit in genocide.
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stuckyparty ¡ 2 months ago
Text
I know some of the old fandom folks are on here and I could appreciate your help.
I married a Republican and he was violent. I know. Egg on my face, who would have thought. He said he voted for Trump because of the stock market but I watched him in real time react to Jan 6 like "We don't do this, who would do this, this is a violent terror attack from Trump supporters!" and then in less than 24 hours of YouTube turn into, "That was a false flag operation and we were in the right." It was scary to see a formerly reasonable man get so sucked in by GOP social media and parrot their talking points like truth.
It took him five years to explicitly say, and this is a direct quote, "All men are violent. We allow women to be safe as long as they don't push it, and you fucking pushed it." So naturally I called a lawyer and waited until he left town and packed myself and the kid up and fucking left.
Oh the conversation that led to his violence that led to him telling me that was normal and fine male behavior? Was about our kid's speech delay. I said, "I know this frustrates you but you can't talk about him like that in front of him, he understands you, can we go in the other room?" and he screamed at me that our kid can't understand shit and it was my fault somehow (???), and I suggested that he leave for a couple hours to calm down but he escalated instead. So like. It wasn't even a political thing, I gave up opinions years ago to keep myself safe.
After we left and were in the new apartment, my kid said, "Where's dad?" and I struggled to figure out what to say long enough that my kid thought for a moment and then said, "This is a gentle house."
Help us keep the gentle house and pay for my attorney. A dear friend already paid the 5K retainer but it's an "evergreen" retainer and if I don't keep it at 5K they'll stop representing me, and the monthly "top ups" are expensive. If you have 20 dollars for legal fees I could really use them.
My PayPal is @KJordan541
Thanks.
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bunji-enthusiast ¡ 9 months ago
Text
One Whole, Became Two
Note || this took me so long to write, but I love this stupid idiot platonically. Chapter three my sleep-deprived folks 👍🏻
WC || 3,312
<(part 1)><(previous part)><(you are here)>
Sypnosis || you bring back a dear old dead heart to a wounded dog.
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If someone ever told you that you would’ve come back to a desolate factory full of death and damnation you would tell them that in what world in which would that happen? You never would’ve heeded their words.
Oh, how wrong you were.
You hated being wrong.
Yet, many things may have happened, some of which allowed you to get in some exercise… you also gained some new friends. They are very near and dear to you, despite the small numbers you retain in your ragtag group of allies. You preferred the terminology friends, you’ve gotten close with Kissy Missy and Poppy, even DogDay too!
Speaking of which, this accursed Playcare was still a little too dark for your liking. You needed more power, more light to go the right way necessary. A light chuckle breaks you out of your thoughts, “A-angel, do you need some help?” DogDay inquired, watching as you had tried to remember which way he had pointed to the medical station.
You shook your head egregiously, trying to affirm your belief as you spoke, “I got it… I swear I know which way it is!” Your shoulders slumped as you let out a defeated sigh, having to hate asking him for help.
Asking for help wasn’t necessarily your most favorite thing in the world, in for the most of miniscule of things. You thought it was ridiculous, insipid to do, in no way would you ever ask for said help unless you really were struggling.
Apparently as of right now, these were one of those moments that you were truly struggling, and it was with directions as well. You couldn’t be any more ashamed, “Could you m-maybe tell me where it was again?”
DogDay let out an amused bark, not merely in making fun of you. He thought you were just cute, the way you were embarrassed, though DogDay will never actually admit this feeling to you. “Okay, Angel, you see that sign over there? It points to the direction of the medical station.” Your large companion points to the sign in question, you sorely cannot miss it no way, his paw was big. Actually, it’s nearly the size of your head.
“Ah, focus!”
The pathway was riddled with broken cobblestone and dirt, but do-able to make your way through. You just hated broken paths, no trouble still.
You nod to let him know you saw it, walking over to the sign that was now a few pacings away from you. The silence had now settled in place for the lack of conversation, it was seemingly getting awkward enough as is. Suddenly, a new voice interjects on the radio of your walkie-talkie.
“Oh there you are! I wasn’t able to connect to you on that side of the dome!” His light voice carried an undercurrent of worry. “No ouchies or lost body parts?”
DogDay raised a brow as you two had continued making your way to the medical station. You nodded your head curtly, as if angling your head to signify you’d explain the kid on the radio at a later time. You spoke out in reply, knowing full well you weren’t in any real danger at the moment, “I’m uh, I’m fine Ollie. Just taking care of a friend, they got hurt… real bad.” A wince left your throat at the tone you carried within your words, you didn’t expect that.
A thought rushed into your head, “Why’d I word it like that? I guess I’m just worried about revealing DogDay to Ollie just yet.” DogDay patted your leg as to reassure you, eyes gleaming as if they were smiling down upon you. 
“Alright, you can introduce me later,” Ollie paused, as if he were hesitating to get the words out of his mouth. As if something was holding him back from doing so, “Take care of them first then I’ll tell you what to do next. See you!”
Then, the radio was now silent. You let out a breath you held in your lungs, sometimes forgetting to breathe reminds you to even breathe manually. An odd habit but nobody will nitpick that for the life of all there is to know and exist. 
An abrupt cough shocked you out of your thoughts, you immediately became concerned for DogDay who had been patiently waiting for your dilemma and conversation to end. You knelt down and checked over his body, “No need to worry.” You lodged his resistance in the back of your head, looking for any external wounds beside the most obvious ones. 
“I shouldn’t have stopped.” You murmur, gently picking him up. There was no way you’d let him drag himself along the floor, not until he was in a better state.
“We’re alright Angel,” DogDay sputtered, you were unimpressed, not phased by his words. “Really… but who was that if I may ask?” 
Steadily, you continued walking–the stupid medical station finally in reach. “Ollie, apparently sometime after I dropped down here he told me he was an ally of Poppy.” You then trailed off, not sure if you wanted to mansplain the entirety of the story down right to when you came across DogDay. Sighing, you begrudgingly open the door to the station.
The room was messy, akin to the state of many other locations in Playcare. But in your modest opinion, you truly did not care about that. You just really needed to fix up DogDay, and he was the focal point of your attention right now. “Angel, you seemed to be incredibly bothered.” 
DogDay shifted on the weight of his body as you began setting him down, if you were being truthful, you couldn’t refute that very fact. Yet you felt too angry to get the words across, “I know, I.. I guess this stupid factory just has me all on edge.”
Then a silence settled into place, as neither of you were unsure of what to say next. Everything and nothing was happening all at the same time. You walked over the ruined carpet, it looked as if it was made in the 1980’s. Some doors seemed to be torn off of it’s hinges, but at least the supplies were barely stolen. There was enough to treat DogDay properly, as much as you can manage within your knowledge anyway.
The hard part would be treating DogDay, (as you unfortunately didn’t have enough knowledge medically) and getting him his legs back so he could walk on his own as well. 
Gently, you opened a door to a closet, full of bandages and gauze. 
“Perfect timing, guess I didn’t need to look that hard.” You thought to yourself, your hands already grabbing the bandages and gauze. A small smile graced your cracked lips, carrying a genuine air with you, “Hey, DogDay I found some supplies. Looks like they left this place pretty untouched.” You waved at him, holding the aforementioned supplies in hand. 
DogDay perked up from where he had been looking at some stray medical papers, most likely files of every patient to come in and out of the station. “Oh!.. Thank you greatly. You really are an angel my friend.” You become bashful at his words, an embarrassed chuckle leaving you as you scratched the back of your head. Standing up you walk back over to the large dog, motioning for DogDay to position himself to where you can get to all the spots correctly.
You sighed, having to take a moment in order to set yourself into focus, this was important. You didn’t want to screw up something so crucial to DogDay’s health, “Ok, This might hurt a little so bear with me.” You warn, crouching down as you laid out the supplies.
“I have no doubt you will do fine!” DogDay encouraged you, settling down to be calmer for you. Fine, yes you can do fine. Okay well enough maybe, you just need to be careful!
Why was this so difficult?
“Stupid brain, Stop giving me all these thoughts!” You groan lowly, setting into place to mend his more major wounds with a contemporary suture. First off, you needed to clean the suture, to which you had quickly done. 
You gently pressed a wet rag to the most prominent area, cleaning it out of any debris that might be left behind in the wound. DogDay was simply listening and quiet upon your actions, clearly a little too impressed for your liking. You swabbed the wound with water then threw away the rag a few meters from you, you internally winced at that. 
Injuries are a major case for you ever since you stepped foot into this factory, you just never expected to be having to treat another person (or toy for that matter).��
“Angel?” You let out a hum in reply, suturing the wound as he spoke. “You seem… incredibly bothered, maybe you should try to talk about it.” DogDay shifted slightly, wincing a little as he had done so. Concern washes over your expression as you went to hold him, he held out a hand to reassure you he was fine.
“Well.”
You sat back on the heel of your foot as you thought about it for a moment, your brows knitted together. It was practically hurting your head, giving you a headache to be thinkin about every little thing that was running through your head.
Your lips pressed together in a thin line, unsure of whether or not to air your concerns. But it seems you weren’t gonna have any other chance to talk about it then right now, you just didn’t wanna dump everything on DogDay all at once. 
Practically would seem like a lot. Far too much to say and too little to be sure of. 
“I guess I’m just concerned over whether or not I really can trust Poppy,” You signal, having a habit of talking with your hands. “And this, Prototype guy… didn’t you say CatNap worships this thing like a god?”
He nods, “Yes, I didn’t join the Prototype. Which is why he had deemed me a heretic.” You frown at his words, nobody deserves that type of treatment. Making it even worse, you would assume the two used to be very good friends. 
“Oh dear,” You echo, recoiling suddenly in embarrassment for voicing something you didn’t realize slipped out of your mouth. DogDay laughs at this, waving his hand as he sits himself upright so as to not slip onto his back, “You are very much correct Angel.” He nods, “If anything, he’s no longer the old CatNap I’ve come to know him as.”
You shrug, a little unsure of the situation right now. Then a thought you finally needed ran across your mind, “Hey, would you happen to remember where your legs are or if… any spare ones laying around anywhere?” You motion around the room as you spoke, voice trailing off as you sat back, and awaiting DogDay’s response. He appeared to be deep in thought, clearly thinking about your question.
“I believe they have some spares in a storage room at this station,” DogDay gestures at the specific door he thought of in mind. “But Angel, I might be wrong. Don’t trouble yourself for my sake beyond this.” His voice strains, as if pleading. 
You chewed your lips, nodding your head once more as you headed to the door of origin. You quietly crept into the room, seeing how dark and dank it was. Slowly but surely your eyes had adjusted to the light. 
“Now, where are you… stupid legs.” You mutter, taking notice of some poppy gas that laid in wait in the corner, not to mention how badly scratched this room was in particular. Probably the work of CatNap or some other toy. On instinct, your legs drove you forward as you stepped into the gas with a gas mask inset upon your face. You certainly didn’t feel like dying from the gas, or passing out for that matter.
You had a debt to pay.
Your eyes wandered aimlessly as you palmed around for the supposed legs, feeling around for each and every inch possible that you might miss. 
Suddenly you felt a fuzzy feeling run up across your arm, you jostled in surprise, a happy squeak leaving your throat when you pick up the legs. “Thank you, sweet baby jesus.” You huff in reprise, feeling accomplished at the place of convenience.
If you could laugh right now, it would be possible, heaven sure as hell wasn’t a place for angels anymore. Not even you, but you still had to follow through, you came here in the first place anyway.
A small sigh left your esophagus as you turned, walking back through as you made careful note not to trip walking back too. 
Something had your mind occupied, demons infested this place. Elliot Ludwig had created this place, and if he so proclaims to want to bring joy to thousands upon thousands of children around the world then why would he permit the experiments. All those children and the elderly… your heart couldn’t help but ache at the mere thought. 
You shake your head to get your mind out of the unilluminated gutter, DogDay lit up upon seeing you in his sights once more. “Angel, you are alright.” He mentions, paw held to his chest as if he were breathing a sigh of relief.  
Your nose was scrunched as you gutted a snort, “You say that like it’s so surprising DogDay.” DogDay shrugs, as if he was now expressing the vulnerability of being embarrassed at the prospect of his own words. 
“Ah I’m just joking with you,” You wave him off, DogDay remains silent at this, not having any thought at what to say back to you. You were right though, he shouldn’t be doubting you for what even anyone in particular is worth. Being freed for what feels like the first time in forever had been leaving him with brand new thoughts, even though he had been thinking and left well alone for nearly over a decade now.
One door closes, infinite more are open. One must beware the foreign class, otherwise you may as well see yourself dead. 
“I truly do apologize for Poppy’s actions… we all mean well.” DogDay begins, trailing off into nearly an inconceivable silence. You set down the legs, to which DogDay is delighted at this brand new aspect, yet still left without room to be uncouth. You didn’t speak at all, pressing between the fine line of the truth and his own words. 
“We must, break the circle.”
What?
“Angel?”
“You all are chained, if whatever happened all those years ago were true…” You sigh, rubbing the nape of your neck as you find yourself in an air of awkwardness. “Then I am also at fault for the way you guys are right now.” 
DogDay’s brows drew together, upset that you feel guilty for the entirety of this fortnight. At least it had felt that way for you, you sincerely had lost track of time since your watch had gotten destroyed. You tried keeping up with the time on the clocks you pass by, but you just generally had lost the energy and motion in doing so.
“Hmn.” He muttered to himself, then got up to hug you, which had clearly surprised you as you felt yourself being enveloped and wrapped in a very fluffy hug. You sigh and decompress after a few moments, the shock finally leaving your body.
“Thanks… DogDay,” You motion, patting the fluff resting upon his chest. “I actually really needed that, hugs are a rarity.” You admit, blush burning on your cheeks as you look away from him in a manner of speaking. You hear a chuckle interrupted by a cough, “Don’t thank me, you seemed to really need it Angel. Being exhausted is one thing, but no hugs?”
DogDay drew a paw to his chest as he spoke dramatically, “That is absolutely unacceptable!” Your hand crossed over your mouth, trying to stifle a laugh at what a drama king DogDay was posing as at this very moment. 
“You kinda remind me of someone I know.” You motion, then sat on the heels of your feet as you immediately went back to work in fixing up DogDay. 
“How so?” 
“You're pretty bright, act like a drama king sometimes and you even can be a little mean…” You wag a finger as you see him begin to protest at the mean comment, “I don’t mean like in a rude manner, just like in a brotherly way. You kind of act like a big brother sometimes.” You shrug with a hint of finality, fixing up his other injuries and repairing them with a gentle hand, even if the suture seemed to betray the tremble displayed. 
After silence had continuously settled in once again, you sigh, angling at the fact on what to do in order to mend DogDay’s very obvious injury with his lack of legs attached at the bottom of his torso. For a moment, you meander with the decision.
“Right, I’m gonna try my best to reattach them to you.” You spoke with a benign tone, more so displaying your own distrust of yourself. You hated that, you practically hated everything so why is this any different.
You just have to do it scared. 
Familiarity reigns over your heart as you see his large paw lay over your own hand, you sigh, sensations shuddering your body as you keep yourself calm. You silently thank DogDay as you gesture that you were okay now, you can be fine on your own.
You push the legs to his upper half, just barely enough that it would appear as if the legs were there and back again already. Your hand wanders over to the middle line, your eyes glaze over with forlorn worry taking your very worried brain. You sigh as you begin stitching, taking careful caution as you notice him flinching quite a few times throughout the process. At a leisurely pace, you notice by the influence you had made by taking care of him how much better he looks physically. 
Soon enough, you manage to completely stitch his legs back to right where they belong. “Well done, I knew you could do it Angel!.” DogDay shook with excitement, reassuringly glad at the prospect of being able to actually walk again. You swear you could collapse at the relief, you hold out a finger before you let him get excited any further, “I still need to bandage it all together, extra precaution if you catch my drift.”
Your large dog companion nods in understanding, shifting about so his body parts don't get sore from sitting in one place for too long. 
From before, grace was high in patriarchy, now then you were sure it was something high to fall from. You could climb to the top (bottom to be literal) and rip the Prototype off of his high horse, and free all the surviving toys. 
You shook your head, trying to calm yourself at the buzzing excitement that had resonated deep-seated into your heart. You quickly went to work on bandaging the middle line of his torso, carefully curating it enough so the bandages would cover the stitches completely. 
“There, now we are done and good to go!” You look up at DogDay, offering him a soft smile. “Angel really… thank you so much.” He gestures for you to come closer, so you oblige and go in, suddenly you feel yourself being hugged by unabashed warmth. You yelped as air bloomed across your skin, seeing as you are now in the air quite a few feet off the ground.
DogDay really was hugging you with the whole of his heart, so you melt into his touch, relenting as you found defeat–yet also peace with your furry friend.
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theslut4smut ¡ 1 year ago
Text
𝘁𝘂𝘁𝗼𝗿 𝘄𝗶𝘁𝗵 𝗯𝗲𝗻𝗲𝗳𝗶𝘁𝘀 | 𝗸𝗶𝗺 𝘀𝗲𝘂𝗻𝗴𝗺𝗶𝗻
Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media
𝗰𝗮𝘁𝗲𝗴𝗼𝗿𝘆: smut
𝗱𝗲𝘀𝗰𝗿𝗶𝗽𝘁𝗶𝗼𝗻: y/n is struggling with learning korean and seungmin is here to help! with some extra motivation 😉
𝘄𝗼𝗿𝗱 𝗰𝗼𝘂𝗻𝘁: 3.7k
𝗶𝗻𝗰𝗹𝘂𝗱𝗲𝘀: afab reader, dom!seungmin, sub!reader, established relationship, non-idol au, kissing, teasing, slight degradation and hitting, a sprinkle of pussy slap, face and finger fucking, hair pulling, penetrative and unprotected sex
𝗻𝗼𝘁𝗲𝘀: anything bolded means that i typed it in english, but the characters say it in korean
i didn’t want to type a full on foreign language since i know that can be a lil intimidating to read and i also feel that it’s disrespectful? of me? since i don’t speak that language? okay! 🩷
_____________________________________
“y/n, i know you can do better than that.” seungmin shakes his head slightly as his brown eyes lock onto yours.
you huff before throwing your head back. “seungmin, i’m just not meant to learn korean. i’ve been trying at it for months now and it’s not sticking.”
you slump further into the comfy sofa the two of you were sitting on as you let out a groan.
“too bad. i’m not letting you give up this easily just because you messed up a few times.” he responds.
“seungmin!” you whine.
“y/n!” he mocks.
you glare at him before rolling your eyes.
“try to remember why you wanted this. what drives you to increase your fluency?”
“i don’t know.” you quickly respond, messing with the fabric of your shorts.
“y/n.” he says firmly.
you groan once more.
“mm...” you bite your lip as you look around the room. “i really wanna have more meaningful and deeper conversations with the guys. like minho or jeongin.”
“there you go.” he says, pointing at you.
“and those shows you watch.” you start, sitting up. “i wanna be able to understand what’s going on instead of just laughing whenever i see you laugh.”
he stifles a laugh.
“it’s not funny!” you say with a faux pout.
“i didn’t say it was funny, y/n. it’s endearing, actually.” he tilts his head to the side. “is that all?”
you feel the warmth of embarrassment cloud the skin of your cheeks as you begin picking at your nails.
“well… i wanna talk to you.” you start, looking at him with slight embarrassment.
he raises his brows. “you’re going to have to further elaborate, y/n.”
he was such an asshole sometimes. he knew exactly what you meant. but you knew he wouldn’t let you get away with having him say it for you.
“i… wanna use it during our… intimate moments.”
you could feel his eyes burning into the side of your face as you avoid looking at him.
it’s not like this was a new thing for the two of you. you had been together for awhile now and had explored each other sexually more times than you could count.
there was just something about this that made you feel so shy.
“is that so?” he finally speaks.
you bury your face into one of the pillows next to you as you made an uncomfortable whimper of some sort.
“no, no. look at me.” he reaches over and redirects your gaze back onto him.
you stare up at him bashfully as he held your face firmly in his grasp.
“you know i’d love that for us. having my pretty girl talk dirty to me in a different language? gets me worked about just thinking about it.” he stops to press his forehead against yours. “but how do you expect to be on that level when you can’t even properly introduce yourself?”
you push him off of you, causing him to laugh loudly.
“you’re a dick.” you snap, crossing your arms.
“y/n.” he sighs, sitting up and adjusting the wrinkles your shove left in his shirt. “i’m not trying to be mean. i just want you to do your best. you’re being really insecure about the whole thing and that’s only hindering your progress.”
“it’s hard, seungmin. i can’t get my brain to retain anything.”
it’s silent for a moment as seungmin taps his chin in thought.
“you’re just not motivated enough.” he says.
you glare at him. “did i not just tell you all of the reasons i started this whole language learning bullshit?”
“no, no.” he closes his eyes as he shakes his head. “those are all long term goals. they’re not obtainable until you’ve reached proper fluency, which then leads you to feel discouraged because of how far out of reach they seem.”
you look at him with slight confusion.
“how about this.” he starts, biting the inside of his cheek. “for every answer you get correct, you get a kiss.”
you perk up, a wide smile decorating your face.
he holds a finger up at you, signaling there was more.
you furrow your brows at him.
“i believe that training yourself should require both rewards and punishments.”
oh god.
here he goes again. being a big meanie.
“you’ll get your kiss from me when you get something right, but if you don’t… that’s one item of clothing from me off.” he smirks as he looks into your eyes. “and you have to keep your hands to yourself.”
your jaw drops. “that’s not fair! you know i can’t stand the teasing, seungmin. that’s just gonna distract me even more.”
“you have to learn one way or another.” he shrugs. “and i feel this will be the most effective for you.”
this was just great.
seungmin knew how easy you were. how the littlest thing had you so desperate and needy for him.
he was stubborn too. which meant no getting out of it.
you knew that you better get it together and start saying some correct answers, or else you’d be feeling the pain of deprivation.
“alright, come on. i need you to focus.” seungmin says.
you let out a small and shaky breath as you got into a more comfortable position on the sofa.
“alright, we’re meeting for the first time. how would you introduce yourself to me?” he asks.
you bite your lip as you look around. “formal or informal?”
he smiles as he grabs your face and kisses your lips tenderly. “ah, you get a kiss for that one. i wasn’t even thinking.” you bat your lashes up at him with a sweet smile before he continues. “let’s do formal.”
you clear your throat as you straighten your posture. “um… hello… my name is y/n.”
he chuckles softly before placing his hands on either side of your waist. “baby, you don’t have to be so nervous. it’s just me.”
you close your eyes as you let out a sigh.
“don’t let that discourage you.” he starts, caressing the side of your cheek. “i just want you to relax.”
“okay.” you say.
“why don’t you try that sentence again? this time with more confidence.”
you nod before taking another deep breath.
“hello, my name is y/n.”
he smiles before pecking your nose.
you pout, causing him to furrow his brows. “what?”
“just a nose kiss? at least give me one on my lips!”
he shrugs. “all you did was introduce yourself. nothing too impressive.”
you cross your arms. “some encouraging teacher you are.” you roll your eyes.
seungmin sighs as he shakes his head at your ridiculousness.
“now.” he starts, clearing his throat and adjusting himself on the sofa. “tell me about yourself. how old you are, any hobbies. things like that.”
you bite your nails as you rack through your brain, trying to remember all of the words and vocabulary seungmin had taught you over the last few months.
“um, i’m- i mean, i am… thirty years old.” you give him a small smile, awaiting his response.
he tilts his head to the side. “you’re thirty?”
you gasp, burying your face in your hands. “the numbers are so hard to remember!”
he clicks his tongue before making a tsking sound. “you know what that means.”
seungmin pulls his t-shirt over his head, tossing it to the side before leaning back into the sofa.
it’s just his chest. just his olive toned, soft, lovely chest. you feel your heart rate quicken.
he smirks knowingly, cocking an eyebrow. “what do you like to do in your free time?”
you close your eyes for a moment, trying to calm yourself down. why did you have to be so weak for this man?
“i enjoy baking.” you respond, eyes still squeezed shut.
“oh? what’s your favorite dessert?”
your eyes snap open, looking at your boyfriend. “how am i supposed to know what you’re saying?!”
“how are you supposed to learn if you’re only being asked questions in english? that’s not realistic. you know what i’m saying, y/n. break apart the sentence and figure out the words you know.”
you take a deep breath as you picture what he’s saying, picking out the words that you do recognize until you’ve created a somewhat sentence of your own in your mind.
“[favorite dessert]”
he smirks slightly, nodding his head. “very good.” he places a kiss on your lips. his fingers ghost over your skin as he does, never getting too close.
it left you yearning for more. how could he just kiss you and leave it at that? he surely couldn’t go on for much longer. but you knew kim seungmin; stubborn and aware of his affect on you.
“what are your plans for the day?” he asks.
you glare at him, causing him to laugh softly.
“seungmin-” “what are your plans for the day?”
he gestures for you to speak.
you groan before rolling your eyes. “breaking up with my boyfriend.”
“hey.” he starts, furrowing his brows. “you don’t get to be mean to me in a language you can’t even properly say your age in.”
you sigh and shake your head. this small talk was not going to do it for you.
“have you eaten?”
you whimper softly and involuntarily at the thought of how long this could last, causing his mischievous smirk to widen and dick to twitch.
“how are you feeling today?” he changes the question and gets closer to you, rubbing your inner thighs while gently touching the side of your neck with the tip of his nose. you feel his breath fanning on your collarbone, causing goosebumps to paint the surface of your skin.
you shiver, placing your hand on top of his. “y-you said no touching.”
“i didn’t say anything about me touching you, did i?” he raises his brows at you. you bite your lip, feeling as if you could cry at just how worked up you were.
“now, answer my question.”
you let a shaky breath out. “i’m feeling frustrated.”
“awe, why?” he nibbles at your ear while cooing.
“you’re so mean, minnie.” you say softly, squeezing your legs together as you try to fight the throbbing pain in between.
“let’s set up a little scenario.” he starts, playing with the outline of his dick in his sweatpants, making your mouth water. “you want something really bad. but, you have to ask me for it. how would you say it?”
you let out a whine, quickly getting up from the couch.
seungmin places a firm grip onto your arm and pulls you down. you give him a shove, turning away from him.
he pins both of your hands down before grabbing your jaw and forcing you to look at him. “you are not giving up. you cried and cried about how much this meant to you and now you’re acting like a brat. how many times am i going to have to put you in your place before you realize that you don’t always get your way with me?”
you begin breathing quickly as your head spins.
he places a hand on your rising chest, looking into your eyes. “beg for it.”
you open your mouth to speak, only to be cut off by a moan slipping out. you look down to see seungmin’s knee firmly pressed against your thinly clothed core and grinding.
you look up to him, panting. he cocks an eyebrow as he waits for your answer.
“i-i need you, p-please.” you swallow and release a shaky and desperate breath. “i need you so bad.”
“oh.” he coos. “would you look at that? struggling to make simple conversation, but you sure know how to beg, don’t you?” he places a firm slap on your thigh, causing you to cry out.
“so nasty and desperate all of the time, aren’t you?” he says, yanking your pajama shorts off.
one less layer made you realize just how wet you were. if only seungmin could be as easy as you were. one look at your swollen and eager sex would have him practically clawing at you. his lips would be on yours while his cock was stuffed inside of you, filling and stretching out your warm walls.
the sting of another slap causes you to snap away from your heavenly thoughts and moan, this time right on your pussy.
“i asked you a question.” he snaps.
you take a moment, truly trying to remember what.
“y-yes, seungmin.” you whine. “so nasty, just for you.”
you lean in to kiss him, only for him to stop you with two single fingers against your lips. you pout.
“what did you do to deserve your kiss?” he looks down at you as he speaks.
“i’ve been good. so, so good.” you grab onto his torso desperately, pulling him closer.
he scoffs before pushing your hands off of him.
“seungmin!” you whine, arching your back as you try to get some relief.
he grabs your face firmly, squishing your cheeks together as he does. “all you do is bitch and complain. why don’t you put that mouth to good use for once?”
before you could say anything, he re-positions you to your knees on the couch, quickly removing both pairs of bottoms he still had on.
you weren’t going to tell him that he was the one who was technically giving in. that he was the one who was giving into you. that you hadn’t gotten enough answers incorrect for him to even fully undress yet.
for once, you got the better of him. he couldn’t control himself over you.
but you couldn’t tell him that he lost. you needed him too bad to risk him realizing his mistake and making you wait even longer.
“stick your tongue out.” he speaks soft, yet firm.
you quickly oblige, putting the wet and soft muscle on full display for him. you bat your pretty lashes up at him, knowing how crazy it drove him.
he slaps his dick on it a couple of times, causing strings of your spit and his pre-cum to stick together. he hisses at the sinful sight.
he sticks his length in and pushes until he hits the back of your throat. you cough, trying to pull away.
“ah.” he holds you by the throat. “this is what you wanted. you don’t get to run from me.”
he teases you by continuing to dip in and out of your warm and soft throat. quick and deep touches to your uvula that causes you to gag before he pulls out again.
“tell me you who belong to.” he orders through gritted teeth.
you let out another gag as he pulls out. “you.” you say breathlessly.
“in korean.” he places his dick in your mouth again, making it to where you only had a few seconds in between to speak.
“i’m yours.” gag. “i belong.” gag. “to you.”
“yes you do.” he inserts himself fully, this time grabbing a handful of your hair before thrusting in and out quickly.
you choke as he fucks your throat at a rapid pace, feeling your slick pooling underneath you.
drool and mascara stain your oversized top as he continues his movements.
he rubs his palm over you throat, loving the feeling of his bulge through the skin.
you lose yourself to the feeling of slight oxygen restriction, the way he twitched and throbbed in your mouth, his strong grip on your face. there was no better feeling than being dominated by seungmin.
the trance like state you were in had you completely unaware that he was no longer in your mouth and that you were now lying on your back.
he quickly puts the both of you into the spooning position before lifting the leg of yours closest to him and running his two middle fingers up and down your drenched slit.
“m-minnie.” you say, eyes rolling back.
“should i give you the satisfaction?” he asks, teasingly. “you really didn’t work that hard today.”
you begin to bable incoherent words, far past the point of understanding and clearly deep in subspace.
he finally fulfills your craving as he leans down and captures your lips into a deep and passionate kiss.
you moan into his mouth.
his two digits make their way inside of your needy cunt, causing you to break the kiss as you sing in ecstasy.
there’s no preparation or warming up as he immediately pumps his fingers in and out of you, filling the room with the lewd sound of your squelching heat.
it reminds you of how shy you used to be with seungmin. how he had to create this slut that you’ve become. he likes to say it’s always been there and that he just brought it out of you, but it didn’t matter anymore.
this state of vulnerability would have your past self red in the face and full of embarrassment. the way you obey every command he has, fulfill any of his wishes, let him control you both mentally and physically.
it made you so hot for him.
you squeal as you feel the intense build up of an orgasm, grabbing onto his forearm as a way to ground yourself.
he removes his fingers and stands on his knees.
“n-no! minnie, minnie!” you claw at his arms, too desperate to notice that he’s actually just moving you onto your tummy.
he laughs like the little shit he is as he takes in your fucked out state all caused by him. he loves it too much.
he arches your back before lifting your ass up to him, rubbing the tip of his dick at your entrance.
you mindlessly grind against him, your eyes closed as you try to focus on your own pleasure.
“awe.” he coos, stroking your sweaty and tangled locks. “so needy. impatient.” he yanks a fistful of hair, causing your head to jerk back.
you moan loudly.
“you think you can fuck yourself the way i do? go ahead. show me.”
you whine like a bitch in heat before inserting his long length into you, sloppily circling your hips.
he laughs and shakes his head at your cute yet poor attempt to satisfy yourself.
he knew that he ruined you a long time ago. your vibrator would never be his tongue, your fingers would never be his, those flimsy and lifeless dildos would never hit every spot inside of you the way his dick did.
but it was adorable to watch you try.
"it's not easy, is it?" he asks.
“no.” you cry, genuine tears slipping past your lashline, making your cheeks a sticky and pink mess.
“i know it’s not, baby.” he says softly, placing his hands on your hips. “you require a lot to please. not just anyone can do it. not even you.”
you feel a shiver run up your spine at his words.
“why don’t you thank me, huh?” he wipes your pitiful tears before placing a gentle kiss on your cheek. “thank me for always being able to take care of you. being so good to you.”
“in korean?” you ask, grinding harder on his length.
“there you go. already catching on. so much smarter than you lead everyone to believe.” he massages the skin of your hips roughly, causing you to squeeze and contract on his cock.
“t-thank you so much. for always taking care of me. and treating me good.”
“good girl.” he whispers as he slowly begins to thrust in and out.
the feeling causes your mind to go blank as you take in the addictive sensation of his length brushing past every surface of your sensitive walls.
“keep going.”
“thank you for being so amazing. so handsome and smart. you’re- you’re the greatest i could ever have.”
you gasp as he snaps his hips into you, beginning his intense pounding as he grabs onto your hair once again.
“ah! y-yes, seungmin!” you cry out, grabbing onto the hand of his that was pressed into the couch.
all of his prior teasing made it to where you knew you weren’t going to last another second of him inside of you. he had just started, but you already felt your previously denied orgasm making a much stronger comeback.
“m-min, i’m gonna cum!” you scream, digging your nails into his skin.
“what do you say when you want something?” he responds breathlessly, feeling his peak approaching as well.
“please! please, please, please!”
he feels himself throb at you remembering to use korean without him asking.
“fuck, cum.” he demands.
stars cloud your vision as you release onto his hard cock, the screams and cries falling from your lips most likely being heard from planets away.
he spills inside of you with a groan, gently fucking you through your orgasm and allowing you to come back down.
you release a breath you didn’t know you were holding in.
“oh my god.” you say softly, closing your eyes as you exhale.
he flips you onto your back before cuddling up with you, peppering your face with kisses.
seungmin giggles against your skin. “that was pretty good, huh?”
you playfully glare at him.
“you know.” he starts, placing his chin on your chest as he looks up to you with his cute puppy eyes. “you sure knew a lot of what to say. i think you’re better than you give yourself credit for.”
“or maybe i’ve just studied things to say when you’re fucking me instead of the basics like i should be.” you respond with a smile.
he rolls his eyes, shaking his head.
he places a kiss onto your lips. this one different from the rest. soft and filled with love. you smile onto his lips.
“you really are more capable than you think. you just need to apply yourself more. i’m serious about not letting you give up.” he points at you, raising his brows.
“yeah, yeah. i know.” you lay his head back down. “korean lessons are over for the day. now it’s cuddle time.”
“same time tomorrow, though.” he says.
you cover his face with a pillow.
“i’m serious!” his muffled voice yells.
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enthusiasticharry ¡ 5 months ago
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the one where YN is no longer the governess to Harry's children, but she is his wife (part 2)
READ PART 1 HERE
author's note: part two of governess!yn (who is still my lil angel baby I cannot lie!) this took slightly longer than anticipated to get to you but i hope you will be happy with the final result! pls let me know what you think, and if there's anything else you'd like to see of these two (i'm certainly not ready to let them go just yet!)
word count: 14.1k of confusion, a lack of communication, friends to lovers, a meddling modiste who we all love, smut, pregnancy.
WARNINGS: discussion of death during childbirth, struggles with infertility (you have been warned)
let me know what you think of edelweiss here! mwah <3
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YEAR FIVE
YN’s life had changed in ways that she never could have expected when she became a wife.
YN had never had an example of what a good marriage looked like growing up, and whilst she had worked for couples in the past – nothing could prepare her for the reality. The fact that her life had changed drastically from zero to one hundred within a few days was something that nobody could have prepared her for. It had been a true shift in the motion of her life, and even though it pained her to say – she did not know whether or not this was a welcome addition to her life.
Their wedding day had been a year ago. It took place in early June, which seemed very apt to their relationship. The first time that YN had joined Harry and the children for meals had been in June, and the summer held a very special place in their friendship – relationship? In all honesty, she did not know whether or not their marriage at this point was one of convenience or one that truly meant that something was between them.
As YN did not have a mother to talk her through life as a married woman, she was thankful for the information that she had managed to retain on her own in her life. Miss Francis had sat her down the day before her wedding and attempted to explain what a wedding night included, but YN had put a stop to that conversation immediately and tried to continue to assure the older woman that she knew what was to happen.
Even though YN knew what was to occur on the wedding night, it did not necessarily mean that the act would occur on the said night.
Harry had never attempted to initiate anything of an intimate context between the two of them. The last and only time that they had ever kissed had been on their wedding day, a necessity to ensure that their marriage was fulfilled. Even once they had returned home, she had received no advancements from Harry at all – and had concluded pretty quickly that maybe he did not wish to share this with her. YN knew that this was not completely shocking, seeing as though she was Harry’s second wife, and he had already experienced this before.
There was also a part of her that knew that men had needs. She had come to this conclusion pretty quickly after the husband at the other house she worked at left every night without fail to meet with his mistress (or mistresses, as YN had no idea about the fine details) and yet she could state with full confidence that Harry had never done so. She knew this with such confidence because they spent every evening together (with a considerable amount of space between the two of them obviously) before they retired to bed.
YN would be lying if she said that she had hoped that her marriage to Harry would offer some clarification on what it was she was feeling. She had spent so long denying her wish for marriage, and she thought that once that wish had been fulfilled everything would be put into some sort of perspective for her. Instead, it had confused and worried her more than it had before. The overwhelming, thought-provoking idea that ran through her head most days was that Harry had married YN just to appease her, to be a good friend and that was it. It made her think that Harry (no matter how many times he verbally denied it to her) did not wish for this.
It was not as though Harry required an heir to his estate – he already had one. That normally looming requirement of marriage was gone for him. YN was three and thirty now, and that could offer little in security as to whether she could have children, and with that gone she could not understand why Harry wanted to marry her. If anything, the only reason a man in Harry’s standing would marry was to ease a loneliness he had.
At first, Noah and Honorah had been confused as to why YN was no longer their governess, and instead their mother. YN had assured both of the children immediately that she could never take away their mother from them, and if they wished to continue to call her Miss YN, they could do so without any worries at all. Noah, who stood at ten when they married had huffed and refused to speak to his father or YN for the first few weeks (something that was inherently a trait of Harry’s, but YN would never outwardly tell him that). Norah, however, had only been seven at the time and saw the whole spectacle as something so exciting and had welcomed the change with open arms. YN assumed that since she had never met her mother, YN had been the closest thing to one for her – and she assumed that would be something difficult for both Harry and Noah to accept.
Even though these questions of intimacy usually loomed in the back of YN’s mind most days, along with questions of how the children were faring with the change. But, thankfully, her ole had changed within the household, and she now had duties as Mrs Styles that often took her attention throughout most of the day. The most prevalent job that took up most of her time now involved the children, and more specifically – finding a new governess for them.
To the blind eye, the task on the surface seemed so simple – but in reality, it was not. In the past year, the children (predominantly Noah) had managed to run four governesses out of the door – with the longest of them lasting two and a half weeks.
That was how YN had found herself now – sitting in the drawing room with the fifth governess she had hired who had lasted all of three days.
“… I am sorry, Mrs Styles, but they are terrors. The little boy placed a frog not only on my chair but in every drawer of my desk! And the little girl, well, she listens to everything the boy says and responds to all of my questions by ribbiting like a frog! They are completely unteachable!” Miss Morris exclaims, and YN has to physically refrain herself from rolling her eyes.
“And yet I managed to do it for four years,” YN mumbled quietly whilst running her finger across her eyebrow.
Miss Morris leant forward slightly in her seat, turning her ear towards YN, “Sorry, what was that Mrs Styles?”
“Nothing,” YN shook her head, offering a small smile to Miss Morris, “I do just have to remind you, Miss Morris, that they are children. They are not going to be easy to work with. Mr Styles has raised gorgeous, inquisitive and at times mischievous children – but they are no worse than any you may find with another family.”
Miss Morris shook her head, rather violently at that, “You are only saying such as they are your children – you see them through rose-tinted glasses. They are nothing but terrors, unteachable terrors!”
YN sighed before standing up, nodding at Miss Morris to do the same, “Very well then, Miss Morris. If you had not already claimed that you could not teach the children, you would lose your employment just by calling them terrors. You may have the night to arrange your leave, but you shall not interact with the children.”
Miss Morris opened her mouth as though she was to speak but YN shook her head.
“I would not say anything else if I were you,” YN spoke with a nod.
Miss Morris took one last look at YN, nodded, and turned to leave the room. It was not until YN knew that she was in the all-clear that she sighed and dropped back down on the settee again, exhaling a breath that she did not know she had been holding.
The list of once four failed governesses had now turned to five. Somewhere deep down YN knew this would be the case. It was not that she was necessarily full of herself, but more so that she knew she was the best of the best in terms of governesses. No matter who she presented in front of the children, and whether or not they were good governesses or not – they would never be able to help the children in the way that she did. That was the dilemma that YN found herself in day after day.
The sound of footsteps walking towards the room, and subsequently entering knocked YN right out of her daydream, or potentially it was a crisis – she would never know.
“I think Miss Morris just grunted at me,” Harry spoke, pointing back at the door with a confused look on his face.
YN sighed once more, running a hand across her face, “She can grunt all she wants, Harry! She is out of this house by morning.”
“Oh,” Harry sighed, dropping down on the settee across from her, “She quit?”
YN shrugged her shoulders slightly, “And I fired her. She dared to call the children terrors. Terrors, Harry! I was a moment away from doing something so regrettable I probably would have been sent away!”
Harry laughed with a slight shake of his head, “I told you there was no use in trying to find a new governess.”
“The children still need to be taught, Harry,” YN pointed out, as though she was stating the obvious.
“And you can do it,” Harry shrugged, as though he was the one stating the most obvious thing in the world, “I know that is not necessarily the way that things are done, but when have we ever done things that way?”
A smile taunted on YN’s face, “You would not mind? Having a wife that does not follow the correct rules of society?”
Harry just laughed, “If I cared about the correct rules in society then you would not be my wife.”
YN finally smiled and nodded her head, “I will teach them – God knows that nobody will ever be as good as me.”
“That is certainly more like it,” Harry nodded his head and stood up, “I did have something to tell you before Miss Morris grunted at me. I am going out tonight, a friend of mine is back from a trip abroad. We are meeting at the tavern for a few drinks.”
“Oh,” YN’s heart pummelled to the pit of her stomach, “The tavern?”
Harry’s eyebrows furrowed, “Yes. Is that going to be a problem?”
“No,” YN assured quickly, trying her best to not make the twist in her stomach obvious to Harry, “I hope you have a lovely time.”
Harry nodded, the confused look returning to his features one last time before he offered her another smile and left the room. YN had seen the tavern but had never been inside. She had only ever seen it on her trips into the village. She also knew of its reputation, although she would not say that she wanted to. Those back rooms, and what they held were the thing that concerned her, she supposed.
More than anything, it turned her stomach so much she was unsure how she did not throw up. 
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No matter how much she tried, YN could not sleep a wink.
The children had gone to bed hours ago, and surprisingly (to YN’s relief) without any stress. Her body, however, could not accept that relief due to how stressed she was currently feeling.
YN had tried counting sheep, and she had tried running through everything she had planned for tomorrow in her head, but she just could not shake the thoughts out of her head.
She could not shake the thoughts out of her head of everything that Harry was getting up to during his visit to the tavern.
Before, when YN knew that Harry was inside the four walls of this house and could therefore not be doing the things that YN was imagining in her head – there was no cause for her to worry. It was all fine before because she knew that whilst he was not being intimate with her, he was not with anyone else.
YN could not say that now because she did not know if it was true.
It was something that the two of them never spoke about – they never mentioned it. They both danced around the subject as though it was an open flame, neither one of them attempting to get closer to it. YN was truly regretting that now. At least if they had the conversation, if she had forced them to discuss this then she would have some peace of mind at least. Then again, she cannot imagine knowing he was doing such things would offer her any piece of mind.
After failing to succumb to sleep, YN had ended up wrapping herself in a blanket in Harry’s study, one of his books pressed firmly in her hand. She would say that she was reading it, but she had read the last sentence around twenty times and still not managed to finish it.
Then the door opened.
Harry’s head was lulled forward, his posture slightly hunched and his movements sporadic. He was drunk. Without even thinking about it, her eyes danced around his body attempting to see if there were any creases in his clothes that had not been there before he left. 
There was not, and for the first time that entire evening her heart slowed down to a normal pace.
“I saw the light,” He offered her a boyish grin, “I wondered who was sneaking around at this time – I should have known it was you.”
YN sighed in relief, dropping the book closed in her lap, “You are drunk.”
Harry nodded, not even trying to attempt to hide it. His body stumbled towards the other end of the settee from where she was. YN lifted her hand to her head when she watched him nearly fall off, but he caught himself thankfully before there was any need for her to intervene.
“Have I ever told you that you just might be the smartest person I have ever known?” He raised his eyebrow at her, a teasing look on his face.
YN gasped, immediately picking up the book in her lap to smack him on the shoulder with, “I should have known you were such a tease whilst drunk.”
Harry began to laugh, and no matter how much YN tried to resist it she could not help but join in. YN thought that she had seen all the sides to Harry, and yet there were ones that she was learning about every day.
“How was reuniting with your friend?” YN asked, watching as his head lulled back against the settee, dropping to the side slightly so that he was looking at her, “I suppose that is possibly a silly question given the state you are currently in.”
Harry nodded his head, “It was very enjoyable, although I suppose his constant discussion of beaches across the world did need to be taken hand in hand with a drink the further into the night we were.”
YN laughed, “I cannot ever imagine you not being interested in a conversation, Harry.”
He shook his head, leaning towards her slightly, “I was interested! The first time! It was just my luck that every time William had a drink it was as though his memory was wiped and he did not know he had already told me all of it before!”
YN did end up in a fit of laughter at his words. There was an ounce or so of further relief that she felt in that laugh, knowing that the stress she had found herself in was for no reason. It was nice to know that he had not withheld the truth from her – even though she was damning herself for even thinking that he would lie to her.
“It sounds as though you had quite the eventful night, then,” YN leant forward to place the book on the table in front of them before standing up, “Are you able to get yourself to your bedchamber, or are you staying here for the night?”
Harry grunted slightly, his head rolling to the side slightly to look out of the window behind him.
“What was that?” YN pressed, inching a step closer towards him, “You will have to use your words, Harry, I do not speak in grunt.”
“I do not wish to go to bed,” Harry mumbled with a shake of his head, “I do not wish to go to bed because the bed will be cold, and empty and you will be down the hall.”
YN’s lips parted slightly in shock. She knew that Harry was drunk, and therefore his inhibitions were lowered but there must have still been an aspect to it that was the truth. There was a slight part of her that was slightly annoyed by his words. She was annoyed that it had taken him a year into their marriage, on a night when he was drunk to say anything of this sort to her.
YN shook her head, “Harry, you must go to bed and sleep this off.”
“No, we do not have to go to bed,” He reached out to grab her hands, pulling her closer to him, “We can stay here, and we can talk, and you can sit next to me.”
“We cannot,” YN shook her head, unable to stop the pull he had on her, “We must sleep, otherwise we will not get anything done tomorrow.”
“That is fine, YN, we can have a day.” Harry nodded his head, “We could… we could just… we could be together tonight and tomorrow, and it would not matter.”
YN sighs, and she attempts to take a step backwards, but Harry instead wraps his arm around her waist. He rests his head against her stomach, and she can feel the heat of his skin through the thin material of her nightgown. The feeling itself was like pinpricks across the expanse of her skin.
YN did not know what to do – she did not know what to think. Instead of trying to pull away from him (which was impossible due to how tightly he had wrapped himself around her), and against her better judgment – she gave in to him. This was the closest that they had physically been to each other since their wedding day, and she knew it was wrong but there was a part of her that did not want this to end just yet.
Instead of pulling away, her fingers found their way through his hair until they were resting in the curls at the nape of his neck.
He sighed against her stomach, causing heat to rush over her skin that she had never experienced in her life. If this is what she was missing out on, she was cursing herself for not forcing them to have a conversation. She supposed that Harry’s behaviour tonight had made it so they had no choice in the matter.
“Harry,” YN whispered, bringing her hands from the nape of his neck towards his cheeks so that she could pull his face away from her and look at him, “Let us go to bed.”
“No,” He shook his head again, “I told you; I do not want to.”
“Harry,” YN sighed, running her finger across the skin of his cheekbone, “You are not listening to me – let us go to bed.”
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When YN woke up the next morning, everything felt different.
This was still her room. There were still her curtains hanging above the windows, her bed she was laid upon and still her books that rested upon every shelf in the room – but things were different.
YN often woke up when the light started to seep through the crack in her curtains, and today was no different. This time, however, she was not alone in doing so.
Her entire body felt warm. There was an excess of heat covering her from behind, an arm wrapped so tightly around her waist making it so even if she wanted to escape – there was no way in which she would be able to. Harry’s head pressed firmly into her neck, his steady breathing causing goosebumps to cover her entire body.
Last night, after Harry had finally registered the words that YN was saying – he had allowed her to direct him to her bedchamber. She had tried not to, but she had been unable to redirect her eyes when he had stripped off his jacket, shirt, and trousers before climbing into her bed. They did not talk, only looked at one another. They had settled into bed for the first time since their wedding day a year ago together, without a single conversation as to why between them. Harry had pulled YN’s body close to his, and they had fallen asleep – and that was it.  
YN knew that it was early in the morning, and Harry would probably need a few more hours or so to sleep off the remnants of last night – but there was no way that YN would manage to fall back asleep. YN tried to pull Harry’s arm off of her, but he grunted slightly, and his arm felt even tighter than it had done before.
YN sighed, unable to do anything but move slightly so that she was on her back and could face Harry. There was something so boyish about his features when he was asleep. It was as though all the stress of being an adult left him the second he was asleep, and YN felt a sort of privilege that she was able to witness him in this state.
It was this that caused YN to lift her hand and run her finger along the soft skin of his cheek – just in the way that she had done last night. Her body jumped slightly in his arms when his eyes opened. This was, in fact, the closest she had ever been to him – and the fact that she could see those green eyes of his looking so closely caused her stomach to somersault.
“It is too early,” He whispered hoarsely to her, “Go back to sleep.”
YN chuckled slightly, her fingers slipping back through his hair, “The children will be awake soon.”
“And we have a staff willing and ready to help with them,” He mumbled, dropping his head further into her neck, “Go back to sleep.”
YN lightly shook her head again, “Even if I tried, I highly doubt it would be possible. Even so, the children have missed out on so much learning these last few months – and I am excited to get them back into a classroom.”
“Another day is not going to harm them,” YN could feel Harry’s lips moving against her neck as he spoke, and then they closed, and he left the lightest of kisses on her skin.
“Harry…” YN whispered, her head pulling away from his slightly so that she could look into his eyes, “What are you doing?”
Harry sighed, his head lulling backwards so that he was laid on his back, just as she was. Whilst they needed to have this conversation, there was a part of her that wondered whether or not being laid in her bed, with Harry possibly having what YN would deem as a slightly delicate condition was the best place for this.
“I…” Harry sighed, lifting his hand to his forehead, “I do not know.”
YN’s breath caught slightly in her throat, “You do not know?”
“I do know, but I do not want to offend or upset you,” Harry sighs, turning his head so that he is looking at her again.
YN sighed, reaching out to grab Harry’s hand, “Whatever it is, you must tell me, Harry. I am your wife; you can tell me anything.”
Harry lifted their joint hands to his lips so that he could place a kiss on the back of her hand, “I understand that when we married, we did so for ease. It was the best thing for us both at that time, and I understand that you may not feel the same but…”
His words stopped, and his eyes dropped down to her lips, lingering for just a moment before they bounced back up to her eyes.
“I may not feel the same how, Harry?”
Harry hesitated for a second, “That I feel as though my affections for you have grown.”
“Harry…” YN whispered, shaking her head lightly, “You cannot… You cannot say such words to me if you do not mean it…”
“I do,” Harry nodded, “I do mean it. I have meant it for a while now, but I never dared to say so. It seemed that all I needed was some liquid courage, and I could not stop myself.”
YN chuckled, leaning forward to rest her forehead against his, “You should not have been scared to speak your mind, Harry.”
“What?” He whispered.
“You should not have been scared to speak your mind because then you would have found out that I feel the same.”
Harry’s face broke out into a smile, and it was quickly after that YN’s followed. He lifted his hand to her cheek, brushing her hair away from her face. It was then that her heart rate began to speed up – when his face started itching closer to hers. Just as she thought that Harry was going to place his lips against hers, the door to YN’s room burst open.
YN pulled her body away from Harry’s, lifting slightly to see Honorah bouncing towards them – still in her nightgown and having obviously just woken up.
“What is it, Norah?” YN smiled at the little girl, watching as she pulled herself up onto YN’s bed.
“I went to Papa’s room, but he was not there, so I came here to find you and I found Papa too!” The little girl smiled, crawling up the bed so that she could drop down between YN and Harry at the top.
“You found us,” Harry mumbled, pressing a kiss to the top of his little girl’s head as she cuddled up to him, “How did you sleep?”
Honorah nodded her head, “Very well. I dreamt of horses, and I have decided I quite like them.”
YN chuckled, “That sounds lovely, Norah. We shall have to take you to the stables at some point to visit the horses.”
“Really?” Her entire face broke out into a beaming smile, and she began to tell her father all about the horse in her dream.
As much as it had pained her to admit it before, this is exactly what YN had imagined mornings being married to Harry would be like. Lazing in bed with him, before being interrupted by the children and forcing them to begin their day sounding like complete and utter bliss. YN’s could not have been fuller than it was right now, but then she slowly realised that was not the case when the final part of the puzzle walked through the door.
“Good morning, Noah,” YN smiled, holding her hand out to the boy, “Norah was just telling us about her dream, do you wish to join us?”
The boy seemed to hesitate for a second before nodding, reaching out to grab YN’s hand and make his way onto the bed.
“Only for a little while, though,” He nodded with a shrug, “I am ready to break my fast.”
YN laughed, watching as Noah joined Harry and Norah in their conversation. To YN, it was at this moment that she truly felt as though she was a wife. That she was Harry’s wife.
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YEAR SIX
Just as YN thought that one part of the puzzle that was her life had been laid to rest, another part reared its head to her.
YN wished for children.
Just as it was with the idea of marriage, in the past, she had been fine with pushing that thought out of her head and coming to terms with the fact that it was just not her fate. When she thought she was to spend her days as nothing more than a governess, the mere thought of children of her own was laughable.
Now that she was a wife, it was no longer laughable – and she wanted more.
YN knew how children were conceived, and she knew that with the amount that YN and Harry had been doing that act, there was a chance that she could be pregnant, and yet (just as it had been before) neither one spoke of it. YN was beginning to be infuriated by it.
“You know,” Harry spoke from the side of her as they lay in his bed, “To read a book, you have to look at the words on the page.”
YN had not even noticed that she had stopped reading the book she had in her hand and instead was staring above the words and at the rest of the room. YN sighed and closed the book, dropping it down with a slight thud on the bedside table next to her.
“I guess I am just not in the mood to read,” YN sighed, slipping down so that her head was on the pillow, and she could bring the covers up and over her body.
“That is not like you,” Harry turned to face her, a slight smirk settling over his features, “Are you in the mood for something else?”  
YN rolled her eyes with a shake of her head, “Of course you would think that. No, Harry, I am just not in the mood to read.”  
“Since when can a book not capture your attention?” He reached over and placed a finger upon her cheek, lighting and tapping the skin so she would turn and face him, “Some may say I can read you like a book… what is wrong?”
YN turned upon her side, slipping her arm underneath her head as she stared at Harry, those eyes of his offering her an ounce of comfort at a time in which her mind was filled with different thoughts.
“Do you ever… do you ever think about having another child? With me?”
Harry went silent, his eyes squinting slightly before he turned away from YN. Her heart dropped and the comfort that had been there immediately disappeared the second that his eyes were not on her.
“I… I do not know,” Harry spoke after a second or so.
YN’s breath caught slightly, “You do not know?”
“I do not know,” Harry slightly tipped his head at her, “I have not ever thought about it.”
YN turned once more so that she was facing the ceiling, not wanting his face to be in her eyeline anymore. Whilst she had spent days, maybe even weeks or possibly months thinking upon this topic, imagining all of the possibilities of how this conversation would take place – she had never allowed herself to think upon this as one of them.
She supposed in part that was her fault – for allowing her thoughts to run away with her without any true evidence.
“I am sorry, I should not have brought the topic up,” YN spoke after a few minutes or so, before deciding that it was probably time to leave it altogether. She quickly pulled the covers off her, “I shall retire to my room tonight, I think.”  
“No,” Harry reached to grab her hand before she could stand up, “You do not have to do that.”
YN shook her head and pulled her hand out of his, “I just wish for a moment alone.”
YN stood up, reaching over for her gown to wrap around her body. She turned and saw Harry still lying in bed, this time with his hand over his face. It did not seem as though he was going to say anything, so she took that as her cue to leave the room.
Just as YN was about to reach for the door handle, Harry stopped her, “I cannot see you go through that.”
YN stopped her movements and turned to face him, “What?”
“I have witnessed first-hand what pregnancy can do to a woman,” Harry sat up, pulling the covers off his body, and moving towards the edge of the bed, “I cannot… I will not let you go through that.”
It all made sense to her now. The reason Harry had never even thought about it. She was ashamed of herself that she had not even thought of it. He had lost his first wife during childbirth, and he was afraid of the same for her.
“Harry…” YN took a step closer to him, watching as his slightly glassy eyes met hers.
“I know that you love the children, you truly do,” Harry spoke, “Are they not enough?”
YN was slightly taken aback by that question, and in turn, she ended up taking a step away from him, “I cannot believe you would say such a thing.”
Harry sighed, his head dropping forward slightly as he rested his hands upon his knees, “I am only saying what is the truth.”
“No, what you are saying is an excuse – what you are saying is nothing more than offensive,” YN shook her head, “I understand your worries, Harry, I truly do but what I cannot understand is you ever saying that Noah and Honorah are not enough for me!”
Harry sighed, his eyes failing to meet hers, “I apologise, YN, I should have never said such things.”
“No,” YN quickly retorted, “You should not have said such things, and yet you have! I only wished to discuss the topic with you Harry and I would never do a thing that you do not wish to do.”
Harry nodded, finally meeting her eyes again, “I understand, I apologise again.”
“We share the love of two beautiful children, Harry,” YN sighed, unable to comprehend why she was even having to explain the love she held for the children, “I apologise for wanting to just share our love in a child of our own.”
Harry gasped, and YN was shocked herself that those words had left her lips. Whilst YN had felt that feeling, love, for Harry for longer than she could put a timeline on – they had never said those words. If the conversation surrounding children had not caused animosity between the two of them, she worried if he did not return the favour that this certainly would. It was their cycle, one that no matter how much they attempted to change – YN feared they never would.
Harry did not say anything, and instead stood up and walked towards her. YN worried as to what it could be that he would say to her, or if he would indeed just walk past her altogether. Instead, he reached for her hands.
“Of course, I wish that we could share… share our love with a child but…” Harry shook his head, “I cannot lose you, YN. I love you too much. I need you too much. I fear, well, I would not be able to go on if anything were to happen to you.”
YN just sighed, taking a step forward to wrap her arms around his waist, her head falling upon his bare chest, “You will not lose me, Harry.”
“You do not know that,” He muttered against her hairline, “You cannot promise me that.”
“I know I cannot,” YN pulled away, looking up at those green eyes of his, “But… your fear, Harry, and whilst I am not diminishing it could also not be the case.”
Harry sighed, “I love you so much, YN.”
“Then, please,” YN rested her hand upon his cheek, “Think about it.”
Harry leaned down, placing the lightest of kisses upon her lips, “For you… I will.”
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After quite a struggle, YN had just managed to get the children down and in bed, both of them deciding today was the day that they did not need a bedtime – and that they were both, in fact, too grown up for a bedtime.
Once she had finally managed to wrangle them into their beds, she wanted nothing more than to drop into bed with her husband and sleep the day off. The only problem was when she walked into their bedchamber – he was nowhere to be found.  She set off throughout the house, looking at all of the different spots she usually found him in. It was not until she spotted a light coming from underneath the door to his study that a small smile crossed her face.
The door was slightly ajar, almost as though he had left it slightly open in hopes that she would find him. She stepped into the room and saw him sitting at his desk, with his books open on the desk in front of him. She knew that he had to be busy to still be working.
Harry had his eyes down, resting his head against his hands. He seemed stressed. YN leaned against the door, a small smile crossing her lips as she watched him. 
“If you continue to furrow your eyebrows like that they will stay that way,” YN joked, watching as his eyes lifted to her.
YN watched as the furrow in his eyebrow ceased, and his chest emptied the air that he had been holding in. It was as though all of the stress in his body had dissipated the second that he saw him in the room. She had not seen him all day, and whilst she had missed him – it was evident just by the look on his face now that he had missed her too.
“Forever jesting,” Harry smiled, leaning back in his chair.
YN shrugged, “You married me for a reason.”
“That I did,” Harry sighed. He held his hands out, beckoning her to come closer to him. YN walked towards him, placing her hands in his and accepting his invitation to sit on his lap, “How are the children?”
YN groaned, dropping her head back slightly, “They have decided that they do not need a bedtime anymore. That they are old enough to go to bed whenever they decide it is time.”
Harry’s body shook with laughter slightly, “I fear the older Noah gets, the more difficult he will become.”
“It certainly seems that way,” YN smiled, her fingers threading through those curls at the nape of his neck, “Are you coming to bed anytime soon?”
Harry sighed, pursing his lips slightly, “I can certainly be persuaded to come to bed.”
YN rolled her eyes, shaking her head at Harry’s words, “I should have known that was going to be your motive.”
Harry’s hands found their place on YN’s waist, his thumb itching ever so closer to the swell of her breast, “I do not know what you mean.”
“You have that glint in your eyes,” YN noted, pulling back from him slightly, “The one you have when you are scheming something.”
“No schemes here,” Harry shook his head, holding his arms up in surrender, “It is just if I am not mistaken… the best time of the month.”
YN could not help the pull of her cheeks that his words caused. It was one thing that YN had noticed very quickly about Harry, even more so when their relationship had turned into what it is now – he remembered everything. Everything that YN told him that was of some sort of importance, he remembered. Even if it was not of much importance, just a tiny, small thing that YN had mentioned in passing, he remembered. It was probably one of the things that YN found the most endearing about Harry. 
When YN and Harry had their conversation about children, it had taken him a few weeks to come to terms with her request. She had left him to think about it and assured her that if anything were to happen, he would be prepared. He would make sure the greatest doctors were at their beck and call the second that anything seemed wrong, and he would ensure her safety at every point. With these in mind, he had decided to oblige her request.
But, when YN saw Harry’s smug expression there was a part of her that knew that at this point, he had no qualms with what she had asked.
“Well, then,” YN smiled, “Since it is the best time of the month, shall we retire upstairs?”
“I was thinking that the best course of action was to shut the door,” YN bit her lip, attempting to suppress her smile but it was no use. She immediately clambered off his lap to shut the door to the room that they were in.
When YN turned back around from the door, Harry had moved so that he was leaning against the front of his desk. For a moment, she just stared at him. She was unable to control the wave of desire that rushed over her body just at the sight of him. It was crazy to believe that just over a year ago they had not slept in each other’s bed and that these feelings had not yet reached the surface. Now, YN could not sleep without Harry beside her.
YN attempted to not think of the past, and instead, she was to focus on the future.
YN took light steps towards him, not stopping until she was in between his open legs. It was then that he almost pounced on her. With such rigour, he dropped his lips down to hers so that their faces all but smashed together, but YN did not mind. Her hands grasped the lapels of his jacket, pulling him even closer to her if that was possible.
“YN,” Harry mumbled against her lips, wrapping his arms around her waist until they rested in the small of her back.
It was not long before their hands were pulling the clothes off their bodies piece by piece. Harry was especially skilled at unlacing a corset, something that made their recent penchant for these activities all the easier to complete. There was something about the comfortability with their movements, the ease, that YN had both longed for and never thought would be a possibility. It was now that they knew the ins and outs of each other, they knew what made each other tick more than anyone else in this world.
Their movements quickened in their speed, and Harry’s body fell back slightly. YN ignored the sound of the items that had once lined Harry’s desk falling to the floor. YN would be lying if she said that this had not happened once or twice in this room and that they did not know the logistics of it. She would be lying even more so if she said that they did not know the logistics of most of the rooms in the house.
Harry’s lips slipped from hers and across her cheek, placing light kisses until they reached her neck. Harry was completely, and utterly obsessed with her neck. He always put the most kisses on the skin between her neck and her collarbone, when they were in bed that was where his head was always placed. The one that excited YN the most was always when they were in public, and Harry pushed her hair off her neck. His fingertips would always linger there, and the touch was always ever so light that it would set her skin alight.
It was always tough work to get him off her neck once he was there, but a tug on the curls at the nape of his neck was always enough to pull him off her and elicit the lightest of moans from his lips. His hands moved down and came to rest at the seam of her chemise, pushing the lace up ever so slightly so that his fingers could rest on the skin of her thighs. His fingertips scratched her skin lightly, causing her to moan into his mouth.
YN pulled away from him slightly so that she could help him unfasten his trousers and pull them swiftly down his legs.
“Eager?” He mumbled against her lips again, his hands pushing her chemise up until they were resting upon her waist.
YN shook her head, “Not eager, just fed up with your constant teasing.”
Harry did not reply. Instead, he picked her up and switched their positions. She landed on the desk with a slight thud, eliciting a moan from her lips. Harry wasted no time in slipping his fingers underneath the thin strap of her chemise, allowing it to fall from her shoulder and expose her chest to him. As the material fell, Harry purposefully slowed his movements so that the soft material rubbed against her pert nipples. To her, it was truly as though he knew her exact strings to pull.  
“You are teasing again,” YN mumbled, pulling away from him slightly in hopes that he would stop the teasing. She should have known better.
His hands grasped at her waist, his fingers setting her skin on fire. He pulled her towards the edge of the desk so that his lips could attach to her nipple. YN gasped, her back arching towards Harry’s body.
He pulled away, his chin resting on the exposed skin of her chest, “You knew what I was like when you married me.”
YN shook her head, wrapping her legs around his body to pull him closer to her, “Not in this capacity I did not.”
Harry laughed, placing a kiss on her skin once more before his lips caught her nipple again. His hands ran up the exposed skin of her thigh once more, pushing it all the way up to her waist until she was exposed to him. His eyes locked with hers again, the slight darkness in them causing a shiver to run across YN’s body and pool in the pit of her stomach.
His assault moved downwards until he was face to face with her. He gripped the skin of her thighs, pulling his legs upwards until they were resting upon his shoulders. She bit her lip in an attempt to conceal the illicit sounds that threatened to escape them. There was nothing that could have helped her when his head lurched forward, his mouth attaching to her immediately.
“God, Harry…” Her body fell backwards, her chest rising up and down at a record speed as he continued his movements.
The mix of continuous flicks of his tongue against her clit, mixed with the suction his lips provided brought her closer and closer to the edge within minutes. YN also wondered if there was a part to play in that in how much she had thought about this throughout the day. It was as though she had been shown something, and now her entire thoughts were consumed by it day by day.
With each second she could feel herself getting closer, and her hands found themselves attached to his hair. Her breathing quickened, and her chest rose and fell at an exasperated rate.
Then it stopped.
YN could not help the moan that passed her lips at the loss of contact, tears brimming against her waterline. She watched as Harry wasted no time in lifting his body back up to her, his lips dropping against hers once more.
“You are cruel,” She mumbled against his lips, feeling the smirk that crossed his features, “You are cruel, and you are mean.”
“I am not cruel and mean,” He responded, his hand moving between them to pull himself out. He gave his cock a few strokes before lining himself up with her, “That is just not the purpose of the best time of the month, is it?”
“It could be, but you…” YN’s words were interrupted by Harry pushing himself into her. YN gasped, her nails digging into the skin of his exposed back, “Oh, god!”
The first time that they had sex was the night of the morning they had been interrupted. YN knew that if it was not for the children, it would have probably happened then. They had spent the entire day exchanging what can only be called longing and intoxicating looks at one another. In part, it felt like both pleasure and torture. YN had been slightly nervous, she would not lie, but Harry had made her feel like the most beautiful woman on this earth. He had not rushed her, he had made her feel comfortable the entire time and most importantly, he had reassured her time and time again that they were doing this together. That this was them showing their affection for each other, in a way that two people could.
All of their sex was not like this. More often than not it was sloppy, and it was rushed, and it was in the five minutes spare they had within the day when nobody from the estate or the children wanted them. If it was not rushed, it was often very slow and sleepy – but in a different remark still sloppy.
“Oh, Harry,” YN’s hands ran down his back towards the curve of his bum, where she pressed her hands against the flesh in hopes of pushing him deeper into her.
Harry groaned against her lips, “This is what you wanted, yes? You were wanting me to fill you up?”
“It was,” YN responded, gasping when he hit that particular spot inside of her that caused her to tighten around him. His hips never stopped their assault on her, and she did not want him to. The second that he slipped his hand between their bodies to rub his thumb against her clit, she was right back to where she had been minutes prior.
Harry’s head dropped into the nape of her neck, resting there whilst he continued to move his hips faster and faster against hers. YN had tried her best to match his pace, but she could not. It was as though she could not control her body when she was with him. He knew exactly what she needed, and he would be the one to get her there.
YN’s entire body went rigid, her mouth parting as a string of moans mixed with calls of Harry’s name left her lips as she orgasmed, Harry’s following just after hers. Their chest, pressed close to one another, were heaving in sync, their breaths ragged but smiles still dancing across both of their lips.
Harry pulled out of her gently and helped her clean herself up, pulling her chemise back on so it was not revealing her in such a promiscuous way. YN laughed, accepting a kiss from Harry when he offered her a hand to help her off the table.
“Do you think it worked this time?” YN asked, wrapping her arms around Harry’s neck.
“We can hope,” Harry nodded, pressing a kiss to her forehead, “But we will not be disheartened if it has not, yes?”
“Yes,” YN nodded, saying the words as though she was trying to convince herself that they were true.
“Let us go to bed,” Harry nodded, reaching his hand out for her.
YN laughed, “We must dress first, imagine if we are to pass any of the staff in this state!”
“They have seen much worse. Now…” Harry dropped down, wrapping his arm around her legs and hoisted her up into his arms, “Let us go to bed… we can tidy in the morning.”
YN just laughed, allowing him to carry her to their room.
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YN had been sitting on a blanket in the garden with Noah and Norah when it happened.
When she awoke that morning, she had certainly felt strange. YN had attempted to ignore it, to push the feeling so far down that it would not affect her day. There were things in life that YN could face head-on, with no worries about the consequences. This was something that she could not do. This broke her heart.
YN had smiled at the maid that was in the garden with them, giving her a look to instruct her to look after the children whilst she rushed inside.
She had stripped herself of her ruined clothes as quickly as she could, ordered a bath to be drawn and sunk into the water without a second thought.
They had tried and tried to conceive a child, but it seemed that no matter their efforts (which were frequent) it did not seem to stick. It was heartbreaking every time that this happened, and yet she could not control anything that happened. YN knew that she was older, but she had heard of women having children even older than her before. She just did not understand why nothing seemed to stick for her.
Her thoughts were interrupted by the door opening. Harry walked in with a smile on his face, “Miss Harding told me you were in here. It is not like you to have a midday bath.”
YN looked at Harry and at those kind eyes that were staring into hers, and she broke down. The sobs that left her lips were loud, and they shook her entire body. He immediately rushed over to her, kneeling by the tub so that he could wrap his arms around body, trying to soothe the sobs that were wracking through her body.
It was at that point that he noticed her discarded clothes, and the stain upon them told him everything that he needed to know.
“Oh, YN…” Harry’s lips skimmed the top of her head, the realisation and seeing her in such pain stabbed at his chest also, “I am so sorry.”
YN shook her head, leaning against his shoulder, “There is no need for you to apologise, Harry. It is not your fault… I just… I am finding it more and more difficult to deal with the disappointment time and time again.”
Harry sighed, his lips placing a light kiss on her hairline before he pulled away, “Move forward, slightly.”
YN nodded, bringing her legs closer to her chest, and moving forward slightly, She watched as Harry stripped from his clothes, dropping them on a pile by the end of the tub and allowed his body to slip into the water behind her. YN immediately relaxed into Harry’s arms, the feeling of his arms around her body offering the comfort that she needed at that time.
“I do not wish to offend you with this, my love, but…” YN dropped her head back on his shoulder, placing her hands upon his that sat on the soft skin of his thighs, “Do you think that we should stop our endeavours?”
YN pulled away to look at him, “You wish to stop having sex with me?”
“No!” Harry’s eyes immediately widened, “No, God no. I do not wish for that, at all. I just mean that… YN I cannot see you go through this month by month. I just thought that we could, stop putting such a pressure on our actions.”
YN let out a sigh of relief and dropped back down next to him, “Oh… I suppose you may be right.”
“I thought you should know by now that it is often not the case that I am not,” Harry jested from behind her, his nose nudging her cheek.
“I think you are mistaken by that,” YN retorted, shaking her head, “I am more often the one that is right, and you know it.”
“So I do,” Harry lifted his hand from the water to tap her cheek, turning her head so that their lips were inches away from each other, “I just think that if we possibly put a little less pressure on ourselves, then you would hurt less.”
As much as YN would hate to admit it again, Harry’s word did hold some truth. Whilst Harry had never put any sort of pressure upon her, she was unable to say that she did not do the same for herself. It was more often than not she found herself worrying if it was her that was the cause of the problems. Harry had two beautiful children already, and yet the only difference between then and now was YN – and that therefore meant that she had to be the problem which was occurring.
“I think that is the best course of action,” YN nodded, dropping her head forward so that her forehead rested against his.
It was not long before he leant forward and placed his lips against hers. The kiss was soft, and light and the only word that YN could use to describe it was loving. It was as though no matter what mood YN found herself in or what was possibly going on in her head – the only thing that ever brought her out of such was him.
Harry’s hand lifted to rest against her cheek, resting against the soft skin and in part brushing all of the worry out of her body. It was a shock to her at what his touch did to her. She never, ever wanted it to end. She was the one to pull away first, placing her head against his shoulder again.
“We shall take the pressure off,” YN nodded, “And wait to see what happens.” “It will happen when the time is right,” Harry placed his head against hers, “And we should not worry ourselves until that time.”
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YEAR SEVEN
From the last time that YN felt strange, this one was different.
The feeling itself was nothing that YN would say was significant – but it was there. She waited for the moment that her courses would come and prove to her that whatever she was feeling was just the prerequisite to that – and yet it never did.
YN tried not to worry herself, or to let her mind spiral but it was often difficult not to. It was as though there were some things that her mind just had to run free with. She did not tell Harry of her thoughts, as she did not want to worry him or to let him get his hopes up for something which could not be true just yet. That it could once again just be her mind playing tricks on her.
That was until, a month or so after her courses should have arrived that she started to feel waves of nausea race over her.
That was when her suspicions grew more into what she would deem to be facts. Her missed courses, the nausea, her constant state of fatigue and the fact that foods that she had once loved turned her stomach in ways that she could not express.
These feelings, which had been slight at first soon grew into something that she could not hide.
It was just a random Thursday that she had woken up and felt quite unwell, and whilst she had truly tried to get up and get herself ready for the day – she just could not.
The only way in which YN’s stomach did not churn uncontrollably was if she was laid down. That is how she found herself, on a lounger by the window in the drawing room. Her arm was covering her eyes, and she was focusing on nothing but her breathing – that was the only way in which to settle her stomach.
Even when she heard the door open, and Harry walked into the room – YN could not muster the energy to lift her arm and greet him. She could hear him talking to her, and yet her ears could not focus on the words that he was saying.
It was not until he dropped himself on the edge of the lounger she was laid on was it that she finally turned to greet him, but it was certainly not the greeting he was possibly expecting.
“Why do you smell like that?”
Harry chuckled, “Did you not hear me saying that I had just returned from my morning ride?”
“No,” YN shook her head, her features grimacing, “If I had, I would not be asking you why you smell like that.”  
“It is nice to know that you listen to me,” Harry jested, leaning forward to place either one of his arms around her body. He leant forward in hopes that she would return the favour, and yet she did not. She placed her hand on his chest and pushed him away from her.
“You… The smell…” YN placed her hand over her mouth, pushing Harry out of the way so that she could reach the chamber pot she had left at the side of her on the lounger.
Harry dropped down next to her, pulling her hair back from around her face. He was confused, and even more so when he reached out to wrap his arm around her body and she pushed him away once again.
“Do not come near me,” She held her hand out, instructing him to stay where he was, “You smell horrid.”
“Are you ill?” Harry ignored her orders, “Do I need to fetch a doctor?”
YN shook her head, leaning back against the lounger, “That is not necessary.”
“YN, you must tell me if you are ill,” YN sighed at his words, her annoyance growing by the second, “I cannot bear to see you in pain.”
YN raised her hand to cover her eyes once more, “I am not ill in the way that you think.”
“Then what is it?”
YN tried to swallow the feeling that was bubbling within her, but she could not, “Is there no way that you could change, or maybe even wash before we have this conversation?”
Harry furrowed his eyebrows, “YN tell me what it is right now.”
YN sighed, turning to meet his eyes despite her stomach’s protests, “I have… evidence to believe that I am with child.”
Harry’s eyes widened as he looked upon her, “What?”
“Did you not hear me?” YN did not mean to snap, but she could not lie and say that her patience was not wearing thin with him, “I said that I believe I am with child.”
“I heard what you said, I just…” Then, his face broke out into a smile, “It is just that I am slightly in shock, but I cannot say not overjoyed by the news – and possibly a little apprehensive.”
Harry attempted to move closer to her, but she pushed him back once more.
“Harry, I wish nothing more than to hug you and kiss you right now to celebrate but I fear if you come any closer to me you might receive something else entirely.”
Harry finally understood what it was that she was saying to him. He stood up and immediately started to unbutton his coat and his shirt. He removed his suspenders, and his trousers came next until he was stood in nothing but his underwear in front of her.
“Would this suffice?” He held his arms open in front of her.
YN laughed, “You will have to come closer for me to make my decision.”
Harry laughed as he dropped back down beside her, wrapping his arms around his wife. He lifted her with such care and ease until she was upon his lap. She smiled and wrapped her arms around his neck.
“We are having a baby?” He smiled, immediately leaning forward to capture her lips with his, “I cannot quite believe it.”
“Well, I cannot say for certain, but I do think that it is highly likely,” YN nodded, accepting the light kisses he was giving her through her words.
Sighing, YN pursed her lips in an attempt to keep her feelings down. Without his clothes on was certainly much better, but the smell was still lingering around him, and going straight towards her stomach.  
“Harry, I am sorry, but you need to bathe,” YN pushed herself up and off his lap, “I cannot be around you until you do.”
“I thought you vowed to love me – smell and all?” He pouted, still making no movements to stand up.
YN shook her head, “That was before such a smell did this to me. Please, freshen up and then we can continue our conversation.”
Harry just nodded, pushing himself up until he was standing, “I shall wash straight away.”
“I need to leave this room,” YN shook her head, walking towards the door, “Can you open the windows before you leave to air it out?”
Harry laughed but did as his wife wished. His wife that was indeed carrying their child.
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“I must say, it’s been too long since you have been in my shop, YN,” Miss Francis spoke, passing her friend who sat on the settee in her shop a cup of tea, “I might have to come and have words with that husband of yours to let you free every once in a while.”
YN chuckled, “You should have seen him this morning. I said that I needed to come and see you and he was readying himself to join us.”
Miss Francis gasped and shook her head, dropping down on the settee with her cup of tea in her hand also.
As much as YN hated to admit it – she had slightly neglected Miss Francis and her friendship since she was married. She, of course, saw her whenever she needed a dressmaking or something altered – but they both knew that was not good enough. Miss Francis had been there with her through thick and thin, and she hated that it had let it get this bad.  
“Well, if I was worried about whether or not he loved you – I’m certainly not worried about that now,” Miss Francis offered the younger girl a smile, but that dropped once she saw the expression on YN’s face, “What is that face for? Are you… is everything okay?”
YN offered Miss Francis a small smile and placed the cup down on the table in front of them. She turned and reached over to grab the older woman’s hand.
“I need to apologise to you, Miss Francis,” YN spoke, squeezing Miss Francis’ hand.
Miss Francis furrowed her eyebrows, placing her cup down, “Whatever for, my dear?”
YN sighed, “For getting married, and not coming to visit you as often. It was despicable of me, and I cannot tell you how sorry I am.”
Miss Francis laughed with a shake of her head, “You do not need to apologise to me, silly girl. You were a newlywed; I am just your modiste – there is no reason to apologise for not coming to see me without a need for it.”
“No,” YN shook her head, “Miss Francis, you are not just a modiste to me. You are my friend I would say that you are my best friend. You encouraged me to marry, you held my hand the morning of my wedding. You gave me your family’s jewels to wear at the ball. And I… well I handled the changes in my life poorly when it came to you. I therefore need to apologise to you.”
When YN looked back up at Miss Francis, her heart broke at the sight of her watery eyes. She had never felt disappointment in herself like this before, and she was angry. She was angry at herself for abandoning this woman.
“YN,” Miss Francis shook her head, “All of that does not matter to me. I was happy just knowing that you were happy.”
“I am happy,” YN nodded, “And I promise you that I will never let it get to this again. I will come to see you as much as I can until… well…”
Miss Francis furrowed her eyebrows, reaching forward to pick up a biscuit, “Until what?”
YN pursed her lips in an attempt to hold back her smile, and yet she could not do it. This had been the real reason that YN had wanted to come and make amends for the guilt that she had been feeling. When she had finally come to terms with the fact that she was pregnant a few days ago, the first person (besides Harry) that she had wanted to tell was Miss Francis. She had wanted to tell her straight away, but it had taken her a few days for the nausea to not be so bad, and in fact for her to be able to get up and ready and even contemplate leaving the house. Harry had not left her alone these past few days, doing everything that he could to make her comfortable. That was why when she had felt fine this morning and had asked Harry to make sure the carriage was ready to take her into town – Harry had tried and tried to get her to allow him to come with her.
It had taken YN explaining to Harry the reason behind the visit, and how she needed to do this on her own for Harry to finally let her go without him. It was under the stipulation that she would go there and come straight back, and if she started to feel ill at any point she had to return immediately. YN, not wanting to upset him anymore nodded and accepted the stipulations with a light kiss to his lips. Any of the turning in her stomach that she felt today was more the nerves of the conversation she was going to have – rather than a cause of the baby.
“Let us just say that… life might be turned around once more in eight months.”
Miss Francis gasped, dropping the biscuit she had in her hand onto her lap and leaning over to wrap her arms around the younger woman. YN laughed, swaying with Miss Francis as they embraced.
“Oh, YN,” Miss Francis pulled away, the tears in her waterline now ones of joy, “I am so happy for you, darling.”
YN had her own tears that were threatening to spill down her cheeks. Another part of this which she had not expected to experience as well as the nausea was the up and down of her emotions. Harry, who probably had prior knowledge of this, had taken her constant changes of mood like a champ thankfully. YN, however, was struggling slightly with the changes.
“I wanted to tell you,” YN nodded, “I needed to tell you. I need you to be with me throughout this.”
“Of course, I will, darling,” Miss Francis smiled, running her hand across YN’s cheek, “I will be here for anything that you need.”
“Thank you,” YN nodded.
It was then that Miss Francis sprung up into action, walking over to the trunk where YN had brought some of her dresses with her. YN knew better than to interrupt Miss Francis when she was working, so instead she stood up and allowed the older woman to boss her around the way she needed her to.
“I did wonder when you showed up with the trunk what was happening,” Miss Francis spoke pulling the dresses out, “I should have known.”
“It is just the ones that I think with a bit of altering should have some give,” YN nodded, allowing the older woman to hold the dress up to her body, “Harry said I should have some new ones made but I do not see the need.”
“You might have to, YN,” Miss Francis explains, “Depending on how much altering I can do to these dresses.”
“Well,” YN offers Miss Francis a smile, “You have never been one to turn down a challenge.”
“That I have not,” Miss Francis laughs, “Now, you have to tell me everything. How did you tell Mr Styles?
“It is not quite the story you imagine it to be, I am afraid,” Then the two women broke out into a fit of giggles and it was as though nothing had happened between them at all.
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Nathaniel Styles entered the world a mere eight months later.
Eight months of what some might conclude as torture, but others may count as bliss. YN had realised that her pregnancy would be a mixture of the two. She possibly should have realised when the first few months of her pregnancy were torture that she was not necessarily going to have the easiest pregnancy. It had been easy to realise that this experience was beautiful, and YN would not have changed it for the world – it was also difficult for her.
It had also taken a toll on Harry. He had already been particularly attentive before her pregnancy, but it seemed as though it was even more so when she got pregnant. She should have known the way that he acted when she had first told him that she was pregnant and that he was going to be that way. If she thought that Harry was bad before, the closer they were to welcoming their bundle of joy into the world – the more that he would not leave her alone at all. He was there, always in the room with her and ready to be there if anything happened. YN, whilst she may not have said so during time, was thankful for him.
By the time that YN had realised she was in labour, there had been no time to do anything. If Harry had not devoted himself to being close to her at all times (especially during the latter part of the pregnancy) then she would have worried about him missing the birth.
It was slightly scary the speed at which her labour progressed, there was not even any time to call for a doctor, or even Harry’s mother or Miss Francis. She had to rely upon Harry and the maids that were at hand in the house.
Whilst Harry had tried his very hardest to not make it obvious that he was worried, YN knew him too well and knew that he was. The speed at which her labour was progressing was the thing that worried him more than anything. It was as though he had kept worrying about something going wrong, and yet nothing ever seemed to.
It was in the mid-afternoon when their baby boy made his way into the world, making their two other children siblings once more.
Harry had not put Nathaniel down since he had made his entrance into the world. One of the first things that caused YN to fall in love with Harry was the love and care that he had for his children, and now that they had one of their own – that had certainly not changed. YN had been resting in the bed, unable to take her eyes off her husband sitting on the lounger next to the window, with their baby boy placed on his chest. Nathaniel was sleeping soundly against his father’s chest, obviously finding the comfort he needed in the skin-to-skin contact.
There was not a single sound in the room apart from a babble from Nathaniel now and then, until there was a knock at the door. YN’s face broke into a smile when she saw Anne, Harry’s mother peering her head into the room.
Anne held a similar smile on her face, “Are you up for any visitors?”
“Of course, I am,” YN beamed, any ounce of fatigue immediately dissipating from her body. She watched as Noah and Norah walked into the room, both of them rushing around the bed and towards her.
“Is that him? My baby brother?” Noah pointed to the baby bundled against Harry’s chest, his face beaming out into a smile.
“It is,” YN smiled, her head dropping against her shoulder as she watched the two older children walk closer to their new sibling.
It was not often that YN would say that she saw the two of them nervous. They were such confident children; it was so out of character for them. There was nothing in this world that scared them, and yet for some reason, they both seemed that way about meeting their new brother. As the children inched closer to their father, YN felt the bed dip at the side of her. She smiled as she saw Anne sitting there, immediately reaching out to grab YN’s hand.
“How are you feeling?” Anne asked, pushing some of YN’s hair out of her face slightly.
YN smiled, accepting the woman’s comforting touch, “Tired, but I am well. It all seemed to happen very quickly.”
“Harry’s birth was just the same,” Anne smiled, “If you need anything, do not be afraid to ask.”
YN smiled, “Thank you.”
Both of the women’s attention immediately turned to Harry, who was instructing Noah on how best to sit to hold his brother in his arms. The eldest boy’s eyes were wide, and he was listening to every word from his father’s mouth as he spoke.
“Keep your arms together, just like that,” Noah nodded, watching as his father moved Nathaniel from his arms and placed him down in his sons. His face broke into a smile once the little boy was safe and secure in his arms.
“He’s so small,” Noah commented, his eyes wide as he looked up to YN for just a second until they dropped back down to his brother.
“Well,” Harry sighed, reaching over to run the back of his finger across the expanse of Nathaniel’s small cheek, “You both were once this small.”
“Really?” Norah’s eyes lit up, “But you always say that I am your big girl.”
Harry nodded, suppressing a chuckle slightly before he reached his arm out to wrap around his daughter’s body, pulling her into the side of him, “You are my big girl, but you were once my small girl too, but you will always be my baby.”
Norah smiled, accepting the kiss that Harry placed on her cheek. It was very quickly that (just as her brother’s) Norah’s attention was placed upon her little brother, who had interrupted his sleep once again to let out a small whine before falling straight back into a slumber.
“Look at that,” YN smiled, “He feels safe with his big brother.”
Noah smiled once more before it was replaced with one of concern when Nathaniel broke out into tears, his little face turning red and his eyebrows furrowing. Noah’s eyes widened, looking between Harry and YN with a panic-stricken face.
“It is okay, bud,” Harry chuckled slightly, an amused glint in his eyes as they met YN’s, “He must be hungry.”
YN and Anne both chuckled from their place on the bed, watching as Noah angled his arms towards Harry slightly so that he could take his brother off him.
“I think that is our cue to leave,” Anne smiled, squeezing YN’s hand one last before climbing off the bed, “I am sure that there’s some trouble that we can get up to.”
YN smiled, opening her arms wide so that both Noah and Norah could come and hug her and kiss her before they left. Norah had a pouting face as she came over to YN. The older woman attempted to wipe it off her face, but she could not.
“And what is with that face, Norah?” YN teased, running her finger across the girl’s cheek lightly.
She pouted one more time, “I did not get to hold Nathaniel.”
YN smiled, placing a kiss on the younger girl’s cheek, “Your time will come, Norah, I promise. But he’s small now and needs me to feed him but I promise that once he has a full stomach – you will be the first to hold him.”
Norah sighed but alas nodded her head, “I suppose I can live with that.”
“I suppose you can,” YN smiled, “Now go, I’m sure Nana has plenty of things planned for you in the meantime.”
The children both nodded, accepting their Nana’s outstretched hands and walked out of the room. Both Harry and YN watched as the door closed behind them, a smile passing between them as it did. YN pulled herself up slightly so that she was in a sitting position, and smiled as Harry dropped down next to her, passing her Nathaniel as he did.
YN smiled at Nathaniel, and even though his little face was still red and scrunched with tears, YN would not change it for the world. Harry helped in pulling her nightgown down of herself, the act itself being sort of difficult with little Nathaniel in her arms. She sighed slightly as Nathaniel attached to her nipple, her body falling into Harry’s embrace as he wrapped his arm around YN’s shoulder, her head dropping down to his.
It was as though the second that Nathaniel had latched on, his face relaxed and peace was restored throughout his body. His eyes were wide, never leaving his parents faces as he began to eat. It was a beautiful moment, a moment that YN would never forget.
Harry sighed, lifting his free hand up to run his finger across Nathaniel’s cheek again, “He’s got your nose.”
YN chuckled slightly, trying her hardest not to shake too much and disturb the little boy pressed against her chest, “He does… it is no wonder I had so much heartburn with all of that hair – that’s certainly taking after you.”
Harry is the one who chuckles this time, leaning down to press a kiss to the top of YN’s head, “I hope he has your eyes.”
YN shook her head, turning so that she was facing Harry, “I want him to have your eyes.”
Harry smiled, leaning forward to place his forehead against YN’s. Harry’s eyes were one of the first things that YN noticed about him, and they will always be one of her favourite things about him. People always say that home is not a house, and instead can be found in a person. That was more obvious to her when she met Harry, and even more so when she looked into those green eyes of his. Those eyes, especially when they looked at her made her feel more at home than anything in this world. They were her comfort, her love, and more importantly, her home.
“Are you sure that you want him to have my eyes?” Harry questioned, pulling away slightly to look at her, “Because we both know we will not be able to say no to him.”
YN laughs before shaking her head, “I have no trouble saying no to you.”
“That is true,” Harry nods, “I suppose it shall be me that struggles to say no. I will compromise with the next one having your eyes.”
YN chuckled, “The next one?”
“Of course,” Harry sighed, “If you would want that.”
After sharing a slight chuckle between the two of them, they both turned to look at their son, who was becoming drowsier by the second. They decided that now was probably the best time to burp and place him down for a nap. Harry placed a cloth over his shoulder and carefully removed Nathaniel out of YN’s arms again, picking him up and placing him upon his shoulder.
YN watched with a smile as Harry started to walk around the room, gently rubbing Nathaniel’s back in hopes that it would coax a burp out of him. There was something so beautiful about the sight in front of her The fact that seven years ago YN had thought that marriage was out of the picture for her, and here she was now with a husband she could not love any more than she did and three beautiful children.
It was not long before Nathaniel let out the perfect burp, and his eyes began to close once more. He, so far, was the perfect baby. YN could not be luckier, and she also could not be luckier with the man she was raising him with.
“That’s it, baby boy,” YN watched as Harry swaddled the baby with a blanket, dropping him down lightly in the bassinet at the side of the bed.
There was a sigh from Nathaniel, and then not a single peep from him. Harry sighed, dropping back down on the bed next to YN, pulling her closer to him so she was resting her head on his chest. YN sighed into his body, dropping her hand upon his chest.
“Thank you,” YN mumbled, lifting her hand so that she was looking at him, “For everything.”
“No,” Harry shook his head, “Thank you.”
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tower-girl-anon ¡ 1 year ago
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Asteroid Memoria (1247) in the sign and houses
Hello everyone! I apologize for the long absence along with the on and off vibe given these last couple of months. As a little resume, this year hasn't been the easiest in terms of emotions and health, but, after a period of struggle, a kind of balanced footing has been found these days so there is hope to get back on track with sharing more astrological posts. It won't be the same as it was at the beggining of the year or the last one, but I will try to keep it moving.
After saying this, now I have come with another asteroid post that could be interesting to know and that is Memoria (1247), which, in english, means memory.
This asteroid in the natal chart could represent on how does our memory work and what things our memory tend to keep so, in this post, I will describe how does our memory work based on sign and house placement.
As always, take what resonates, enjoy it, and don't copy this post without giving proper credits to the owner. So let's get into it.
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Aries/1st house These natives have a very quick mind. Depending on other aspects such as the house or aspects of the planet ruler in the natal chart, this sign and/or placement could grant the native with the ability to memorize everything quickly and with ease, so much so that they could be known for their amazing ability of retaining information. This could describe perfectly of those people who only study a few ours before an exam and still get an excellent grade despite the lack of prior study. Despite this, the retain of information can dissapear from their minds as quickly as it came. Remembering past actions, violent episodes, and peoples faces or bodies could be some of the things that they tend to remember the most. They don't usually shy away of sharing the things they remember.
Taurus/2nd house Depending on other aspects such as the house or aspects of the planet ruler in the natal chart, this sign and/or placement could indicate a person who needs time and hard work to retain information on their memory. Despite this, once they learn, live some experiences, or study hard, they don't tend to forget what they learned. They don't tend to make the same mistake twice and their ability is not usually shared with others if this asteroid falls in the second house. Mathematics, finances, hard-work experiences, fashion, cooking recipes, and art could be some of the topics they tend to remember the most.
Gemini/3rd house Depending on other aspects such as the house or aspects of the planet ruler in the natal chart, this asteroid under the sign and/or house of the communicative Gemini could signal a person who has a strong and quick memory. This person can remember almost everything, especially things that has been writen or said out loud, that is why they never, or almost never, have a problem with school grades. Maybe they can grasp conversations or situations that are happening in another part of the room. For example, they could be studying but, a few steps away, there is a couple who are talking and they can remember both the information of what they are reading and the conversation that is taking place a few metres away. Goosip, texts, and knowledge are some of the things they tend to remember the most.
Cancer/4th house This individual has a very selective memory; they prefer to keep on their head or mind the memories which created some emotional impact in their lifes. Of course, the strength of this memory depends on other aspects such as the house or aspects of the planet ruler in the natal chart, but, in general, these natives they tend to keep on their memory everything related to their emotions such as family, their home, chilhood, friends, etc., and every emotional reaction that came from those memories. If they formed an emotional connection with somebody, then they will never forget them. For better or for worse, every pain and joy in their lives will be safely kept in their memories.
Leo/5th house The memories of these natives are very selective; they don't tend to retail especific details, but are very good on remembering the general or most important information of a situation. Of course, as I've said on every other sign and placement, the strength of this memory depends on other aspects such as the house or aspects of the planet ruler in the natal chart. What they tend to remember the most are not only the most important information of every subject, but also things related to their childhood, their creativity, and the things that make them feel important. For example, if they have a hobbie or a topic that they really love, they would remember most things they learn from those things rather than from other topics that they are not interested. If they date, maybe they will be able to remember all the details of their exes. The same can apply to the celebrities they follow.
Virgo/6th house The memory of these natives are very unique. When it comes to remember things, this natives can remember almost everything that has been said and done, no matter the topic, or, in case there are some conflicting energies between this asteroid or its ruler to other planets in the chart, there are capable to recount conversations and facts so detailed about them or others that many could feel surprised. It is like, if they remind you of something you said and, in return, you ask them of when did you say that, they could tell you with almost every detail of the place, hour, date, or situation along with the almost the same words you used. This ability is really helpfull in careers that need especific or careful procedures such as medicine or engineer.
Libra/7th house These natives are very good at remembering things related to other people. No matter if the people they met were good or bad; if they had good intentions towards them or not; if they stayed for long or not; no matter what circumstances, these natives will remember them. Of course, it will depend on other aspects if their memory is strong or not, but, if you impressed them, then they will remember you. These natives are more prone to remember the actions of other people and their appearence rather than words. No matter if they are family, romantic partners, friends, or whatever, if those people were bad or unjust towards them or towards other, they will remember it and take note of who to trust or consider a good person. The same applies to those people who treated them better.
Scorpio/8th house For those who have this asteroid under the intense sign of Scorpio, your memory could either be very good or very bad. It will depend on many things, including aspects of the ruler of the sign or house to the rest of the chart, but since Scorpio or the eight house rules the intense place of the underworld, the taboo, the sexual side, among many things, these individuals could have a detailed memory when it comes to these topics. Maybe they can even remember past lives or bring back hidden traumas from other lifetimes. If they experienced trauma in this lifetime, they could either remember the experience very well or they could shut it down completly in a way that they may forgot about it. In any case, these natives will prefer to keep their memories private. Intense experiences (be it physical, love, sexual, spiritual, or related to money) could be the main thing they remember.
Sagittarius/9th house A very good placement for students, travellers, explorers, or people who likes to learn new lenguages. This placement is ideal, unless there are some other aspects in the chart that block this energy, because it allows these natives to gain more information and keep it in their minds with ease. It doesn't seem to be a limit on the capacity to retain things in their memories but, despite this, they could be prone to remember knowledge better than other things like familiar or romantic stuff. Along with that, they could be prone to learn more general details rather than detailed ones since their excitement for knowledge could make them impatient when it comes to spend more time knowing extra details
Capricorn/10th house The life lessons are the most important element to keep in the memory for those individuals who have this asteroid under this sign or placement. Rather than knowledge, they prefer to remember their career or path through life; their lessons and achievements; the obstacles and setbacks they had to face in order to reach the state or placement in which they are now; all that has to do with life experiences. They could be prone to remember old family stories or stories that elder people tell them. History could be a subject in whic their memories work better or, at least, feel more enthusiastic abut it. A downside of this aspect or placement could be a complication of their memory once they start growing older. Somehow, their memory could be a huge element that could affect their career path.
Aquarius/11th house This is an interesting placement for sure. It is not about these natives of being fixed on certain memories or not having a good memory. On the contrary, if there is something that captures their attention and is important to preserve it in their memory, then they can remember it with a huge ammount of detail. This group of people could be the type, in the case that they have bad aspects that could create problems to their memory, to remember something out of the sudden and then forget it the next second. The things they could remember the most are friends, things that happens in their social circle, things they see or learn through internet, or news related to things that affects others in general.
Pisces/12th house These individuals have a curious memory, but full of potential when it comes about reaching or recieving downloads of memories through spiritualism, tarot, and dreams. At some points, their memory can get foggy since it may look as if they are unable to remember what others told them or to remember a lot of details. In a way, they could remember the things they needed to do at night, when they are about to go to sleep, or just at random times. Despite this difficulties, that others may refer to as lack of concentration, they have a strong intuition. They may remember things from past lives, being that memories or abilities, but they may not always know it. Sometimes, it is just an intuitive feeling rather than a conscious recollection. Dreams, art, and spiritualism could be some of the topics that they remember the most.
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pigeonpeach ¡ 9 months ago
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The perfect date!
Prompt: Genshin men and women’s ultimate idea of a date by their standards!
Fem reader
Characters: Diluc, Shenhe, Jean, Cloud retainer, Arlecchino, Kujo Sara, Furina
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Jean
Jean ,despite her upbringing and high class education, isn’t very picky. What she values most is the effort and thought put in. To earn her heart is relatively easy. Just be a cute little thing and offer her gifts and flowers to cheer her up. Compliment her and overall just look at her with eye contact and a smile as she chats your ear off about the latest romance novel and how disappointing it was.
For you? Your best shot is to go out of your way to pick her favorite flowers, and dress yourself up enough to show you care then she wouldn’t mind where it was even if it was a picnic. In that scenario you would also have to show thought and care. You can’t just smack a blanket everywhere. You have to pick somewhere the knights are available or with a nice scenery. The tree at windrise is perfect as its already her safe spot. A picnic is actually perfect, Jean is a romantic but there’s nothing more romantic than seeing how you fret about every little detail, like a bird preparing the perfect nest for its mate, she is more flattered by effort than compliments. Even if the food you prepared isn’t the best she can see how you tried. Afterall with enough practice you could prepare it properly in the future. When she saw your effort she was starting to swoon. Keep up the effort and you’ll have her last name in no time.
As for how she’d set up the date? A casual lunch at Good Hunter and a stroll through city to Springvale because the scenery is beautiful and the wind is nice but not too cold. She’ll pay for the meal and you will make up for it by being her entertainment. But she’s also picked that route because the wind can pick uo and get a bit chilly with the lake right next to path, giving her the perfect opportunity to offer you her cloak, just like a true Gentlelady!
Diluc
Oh he’s difficult! Not a romantic, not a small talker, not too expressive, not too friendly either. You basically court him the way you would earn the trust of a feral cat who’s never been pet before. Patience and lots of perseverance. The best way to earn his heart however is to be interesting. Go to the bar when nights are slow and tell him interesting stories. Some new fact you learned? Questions that make you stand out from any other bachelorette looking to score it with him. Like “whats your second favorite color? Whats your first memory? Does his hawk have a favorite color?” I should mention to not get too personal too quick. But overtime he maybe endeared by your odd conversations, you stand out in a pleasant way that has him contemplating those questions.
Now that you’ve finally got his trust you can ask him out! Very likely he will take the reins. Likely a typical restaurant date. He picks you up, pays, coat if your cold, walks you home. He isn’t the most creative.
As for you? Well you still won’t be able to spoil him because he will pay you back no matter what. He doesn’t have expensive tastes. You prepare a nice picnic meal? You want to go on a walk through town and lunch? Unfortunately he doesn’t really like the idea because he knows it will spark a huge rumor and end up with you probably glared at by many a lady looking for his hand. The picnic idea is however novel to him. Just be sure to pick a area clear of monsters. Not that he wouldn’t immediately leap into battle to defend you but that he might burn the grass to much. Then you would have to move. But he secretly adores how persistent you’ve been, trying to provide for him, trying to handle everything. He secretly likes that. Unfortunately he has a serious poker face so you don’t notice that until later.
Shenhe
Out of all of them i’d say she’d be the hardest to romance because she’d struggle to understand when she is inlove. She likes you yes. But is it different than how she likes being around Ganyu or sitting in the grass? Overtime it does become different but it isn’t until Cloud Retainer points out that she is obviously being courted that she recognizes your efforts. So she return them.
Easiest by far because she has no concept of romance or what is romantic like everyone else but rather just that: she likes you. She likes spending time with you. She doesn’t care if you don’t get her enough flowers or you don’t pick a good enough restaurant. What she likes is you and talking to you. You could pick a dingy street vendor for a date and she’d still love it. Really its cloud retainer who would disprove. To earn her approval you must work to prove you’re worthy and trustworthy too. She won’t give her blessing out freely. And what better way for Shenhe to learn about romance than by example? But truly, Shenhe would prefer a date on Jueyun karst. With fresh flowers and a gentle breeze in the warm sunlight. Just talking to you, alone. She doesn’t like restaurants unless its a slow or quiet day but she will put up with it for your sake.
Arlecchino
Obviously she lives for the luxury. She knows time away from the children is scarce nowadays so she books a private booth secluded from the other guests, a luxury restaurant with the finest of tastes. She will ensure you don’t go away hungry or feel uncomfortable. The difficulty is the timing. The reason its best to leave her to schedule dates is because she will already have made time for such occasions. One date st least per month! Unless of course there’s complications or scheduling conflicts. Rest assured she will make it up to.
If you’re planning a date for her it would be best to follow her line and not surprise her with it because again, her schedule. The most she’ll let you do is probably make the reservation, she’ll pay for it simply because she likes to provide for you. Better to just let her because she isn’t going to let the mother of her children pay for dinner.
Cloud Retainer
Oh you want to romance a full blown adeptus? Good luck making it up that mountain alot. Your offerings do not go unnoticed by her, as she enjoys your gifts more than most mortals. She even clears out monster camps herself in preparation for your visits. As cloud retainer how ever she isn’t too emotionally available.
But as Xinyun she is far more open minded to the idea. Recognizing you as her favorite human she will humor your offer of lunch. She does prefer more traditional methods but not to a great extent. For instance, a decent restaurant with high quality food. Especially if it’s a date. You dont have to pick the most luxurious of restaurants but if you do it is a good impression to her. But putting effort into your appearance is also very important too. She doesn’t expect you to pay for her tab but she would appreciate. She will find some way to repay you.. perhaps a invention to help you in some aspect of your life? Or perhaps a kiss will do.
Furina
Little bit of a tsundere. It wasn’t actually that hard to win her heart, but she didn’t make it obvious until you asked her out. Just stick with the fancy stuff, flowers and sweets as offerings. She is very traditional in that regard. But oh Miss Furina is so lonely, the second she saw your gentle and loving smile she practically fell face first and head over heels for you.
Of course high end restaurants are her favorite. Especially for desserts. In fact you could just skip dinner and go to a bakery instead, that’s probably cheaper. If you offer to pay though do be prepared for it. She won’t spend too much since it is your money but the things she buys aren’t too cheap either. But overall the perfect date for her is mostly just.. having someone by her side. It may end up be her window shopping or shopping with you dragged along but she has a great time like. She has a great time with you by her side :> after that point the dates can be anything as long as you’re not taking her hiking through the mountains or something, she might like to go outside the city for a picnic though. Maybe even see the cute otters.
Kujo Sara
She was also not that hard to win over, but it was much harder to tell when she did. But her coworkers knew when they saw how she seemed to miss you when you left, or how you made her smile. But before you know it, she’s asking you out!
Kujo Sara will pick the best restaurant for your tastes, preferably a bit high end, and she will encourage you to eat as much as you like. Don’t eat like a pig though that is a bit off putting to her. She isn’t too great at conversing though, especiallt in non professional environments. Considering how nervous she actually is to be on a date with you too, its a bit hard to be confident in such a unfamiliar situation. Just be patient and sweet. Overtime she’ll get better and more open with you.
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scaredpigeons ¡ 10 months ago
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Aqua Regia III: My love is an animal call.
Previous chapter // Next chapter // First chapter
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Neuvillette x fem!Reader
Word count: 2.3k
It seems both yourself and the honourable Iudex are struggling with some… ahem. Big feelings.
Authors note: i had to get wri involved, you don’t understand— no it was a necessity. Yeah— no, you get it. Don’t worryyy about ittttt :)
Neuvillette was struggling. 
Now, it wasn’t the way he was struggling before, no. 
You’d swept into his work life and cleaned up the mess he’d found himself caught in, made it safe to breathe again, made it easier. He’d never be able to put into words how eternally grateful he was for your work. You helped him retain the dutiful and serious image he’d carefully painted of himself over the years, even through this hectic and strange transition. 
No, for the first time in his life, Neuvillette felt like he was losing his grasp on his own mind. 
His capabilities within his workplace were fine, stellar as always, as everyone (you) keeps reminding him, but his inner workings and home life were in shambles. 
Strange, archaic instincts were clawing at his psyche, making him act irrationally. His bedroom was a mess, his prized belongings hoarded around his bed, walling it in so he quite literally had to leap into bed at the end of the night. 
He tried taking down the mess of knickknacks, books, fabrics and antiquities one morning after he first made what he now calls his ‘nest’. He shook his head as he carefully unstacked all of his most precious items and put them back in their proper places, only for him to return home after work and feel so restless, so incredibly distraught. 
Everything inside him screamed for the nest, so he remade it, and never took it down again. Anything to avoid that sense of restless panic that pulled at his chest. 
Neuvillette was also hungry. His appetite grew and grew, and his thirst was never quenched. He found himself pacing his house, only to give up denying his instincts and throw himself into the waters in the cover of darkness to hunt within the depths— something he hadn’t done since his youth. 
He felt like an animal, like centuries of living in the high society of Fontaine was reduced to ash in his palms, and if he didn’t satiate these urges, he would go mad and make a fool of himself in front of his citizens and colleagues. (again, you)
He thought of you a lot. He thought of you when he woke up, when he arrived to work. He thought of you throughout the day when you weren’t in his presence, and he thought of you on his way home at the end of the day. 
Even in his fever induced late night dives, he wondered what you would say if you saw him like this. Would you worry for him? You always seemed to be worrying for him. 
You were so considerate, so thoughtful and kind. He was confused, irate. He truly tried to keep himself distant from others, to remain a truly impartial and fair judicator of this nation. 
Ever since the traveler came through and wormed into his heart and homeland alike, he found himself more at ease when interacting with humans. He even found himself more at ease with the idea of perhaps having a friend or two, trustworthy people, people he genuinely believed would never be on the wrong side of Fontaines laws. 
He opened up with Wriothesley a little more, which seemed to shock the Duke at first, but he was very open to the idea of having personal chats as well as work conversations— which he had been pushing for ever since starting his career as the caretaker of the fortress. 
The traveler made it a point to speak with him whenever she and Paimon were in Fontaine, often inviting him to go on exciting little excursions when his schedule allowed it. He considered the both of them to be his friends now as well. 
The melusines were his friends, he supposed. He cared very deeply for them. 
But you? 
He knew you well enough by now to know that on surface level, you were a genuine, good natured law abiding citizen. But he’d seen people of the same standing do heinous things. 
He tossed and turned in his sheets at night, battling logic and centuries of experience with the longing in his chest that he felt for you. 
Whenever he would attempt to berate himself, tell himself that he could not get close to you, he could not risk the image of impartial justice he carefully constructed— a tumultuous and archaic anger would rumble in his chest, and he would quite literally growl at himself. 
A dark voice inside himself would berate him instead when he thought of all the ways you could betray his trust, the ways he’s seen it happen to others before— how dare you think that way of her. 
But no, he didn’t know you well enough yet to trust you completely, even though every fiber of his being was pulling him towards you. 
He was so confused. 
It took everything in him to compartmentalize during the day, get his precious work done, only for him to go home and completely lose himself to the madness. 
His chest ached, yes. But what worried him the most— more than the drive to hunt, to nest, was the aching feeling between his legs. 
He’d been around humans long enough to understand how procreation worked. It was similar with all species, though humans were the only ones he knew of that routinely copulated solely for the sake of pleasure, rather than procreating. 
He vaguely knew about dragon mating cycles, that dragons would choose a mate to further their species, carry on their legacy. But every time he tried to justify the pulsing between his legs, he would laugh at the lunacy of it all. 
He had gone half a millennia in human society without feeling any of these urges, and coming into his powers must be the reasoning for such primitive and dubious symptoms. You were just an unfortunate bystander in it all, It couldn’t have anything to do with you. 
No, certainly not. He surmised that he must be ill. There was no other explanation. His body was not used to such an influx of power, and was acting out, throwing one last hurdle his way before all was well and settled. 
Yes, that was it. 
——————
You used to hate having days off. 
It meant less money coming into your bank account, and more time to sit alone and think. Your friends were lovely distractions, but nothing really quelled the overarching feeling of dread you had at the end of the night when the lights were out and the dark consumed you. 
Now that money was no longer an issue, thanks to your cushy job as personal assistant to the ruler of the entire nation, (a job title that still astounded you,) you no longer felt guilty when meeting up with friends. 
You didn’t have to refuse their charity any longer, or invitations to expensive meals, or parties. 
You truly felt at peace with the majority of your life, and so when the Duke of Meropide invited you to the fortress for tea one evening, you happily accepted. 
You loved visiting Wriothesley. He was a lovely little breath of the air you used to breathe, of trouble and mischief. 
Certainly a close friend, confidant, and many others (Miss Navia and Charlotte) often poked at you that perhaps he would make a good husband for you as well. 
That certainly couldn’t be farther from the truth. 
Wriothesley was fun. He was witty and intelligent, strong, he fell into the role of leadership with far more grace than you had seen in anyone before him, and he made you feel very happy. 
But he was also emotionally unavailable, his entire world dedicated to his work, to the fortress and its residents. He left room for his friendships, keeping the fires there well stoked— but anything further would be a disaster waiting to happen. 
You’d thought about it once or twice, marrying him just for the sake of it, for the security, the titles and privileges that came along with it. 
These were weak moments, when you’d been at your lowest, finding no worth or value in yourself. These were selfish thoughts, unfair to your friend and yourself. Selfish because you knew he would say yes, if only to make your troubles disappear. 
Wriothesley was a great friend. You wished to stay that way for as long as he’d allow it. 
He seemed quite content sitting on the front of his desk while you sat in front of him, sipping an absolutely divine tea while listening to his favourite classical record. 
You still found it so amusing after all these years that he retained such a dark and intimidating outward appearance and still listened to the posh classical music he grew up on. He said it was something about reclaiming a part of him that he didn’t want his parents to own. He had a lot of parts to him that he reclaimed for himself. 
“This is beautiful, remind me what it’s called again?” 
He sat his tea cup down, eyes closed as he absorbed the music with you. “L’Amour Récompensé mais inconnu III, one of my all time favourites.” 
“It’s so calming, are the others of its title the same way?” You asked, placing your teacup next to his on the desk. 
“The record in total is four songs. It’s a love story, and this is the track that symbolizes the moment the lovers realize their feelings for each other. It’s less sorrowful than the first two, a bit more light than the last.” He says, looking across the room thoughtfully. “It’s happier, more hopeful than the others. It almost makes me understand what it might be like to be in love.” 
You knew what he meant, though you tried to push the idea away with each passing day. You could not have feelings like these, it was completely unacceptable. 
Wriothesley must have noticed your breathy sigh, your face scrunching up as it grew heated, and he quirked a brow at you. 
“Nothing-“ you stammered, pushing yourself up from the chair and pacing a few steps away from him. “It’s nothing! Don’t worry about it.” 
“You do seem a bit lighter these days,” he says, that telltale smirk spreading across his face, teasing you. “Don’t tell me someone’s finally caught your attention.” 
“What do you mean, finally?” You spun to face him, red faced and projecting your embarrassment into a raised voice. “I-I’ve had plenty of men interested in me!” 
“Ah, but that’s not what I said, is it?” He rose from the desk, walking towards you in half the steps you took to get to the same spot in the middle of his office. “I asked if someone caught your attention. Plenty of losers have thrown themselves at you over the years to no avail. But I’ve never seen you so flustered.”
His presence, while physically looming over you, was rather comforting. You felt safe within this office, in his counsel. 
“I’m… going through some mixed feelings…” you admitted. 
“Mixed?” He inquired. 
“I… I am attracted to someone I really shouldn’t be, and I loathe myself for it but I can’t seem to bring myself to stop thinking about them.” 
“Oh… certainly a sticky situation you’ve got yourself in, kiddo.” His words were light, but genuine. 
A knock at the door echoed from the spiral staircase beneath you, and he yelled down for whoever was knocking to enter. Steady footsteps sounded from the stairwell and you frowned, a little perturbed that you were finally about to vent to someone, only for it to be interrupted. 
In a kind gesture, he ran his hand soothingly down your upper arm a couple times, a gesture he repeated often, something he did when he knew hugging you would be a bit too much, or when others were around. 
His hand rested on you as he lowered his voice. “We can talk about it more later, okay? I don’t want you to—“
In a flash of white and blue, Wriothesley’s arm was ripped away from you, and he staggered back a few steps as his assailant held his hand up and away from you with firm grip to the wrist. 
You blinked, and Neuvillette was between you, holding Wriothesley’s hand and breathing heavy, if he was straining somehow. 
Wriothesley stared wide eyed and completely shocked. You were sure you looked equally as startled, because Neuvillette looked between the two of you, then at his hand gripping Wriothesley’s wrist, before his own eyes widened and he dropped his hold, stepping back and clearing his throat. 
“I am… so incredibly sorry, Wriothesley,” he said, rubbing a thumb along the palm of the hand that grabbed his friend. “I truly have no idea what just came over me then.” 
Neuvillette looked incredibly guilty, and his eyes wouldn’t meet yours as he picked up a folder that must have been dropped on the floor in the scuffle. 
“Here are the files you requested.” He said softly, setting them gently on Wriothesley’s desk. His gaze trained on the floor, so unlike him, so wounded, and you felt so confused. 
“I’ll take my leave now. again, you have my sincerest apologies, the both of you.” 
The Chief Justice nearly jogged away, a brisk pace you’d not ever seen him take before. 
“Wait!” You’d called out. “Sir! I’ll walk with you back!” But he was already gone, the door closing audibly before you even finished your sentence. 
You turned to Wriothesley, still staring at the spot Neuvillette was mere seconds ago, and gave him an apologetic look. 
“I’m sorry,” you stammered. “It seems like somethings really wrong, I need to—“ Wriothesley just nodded, blank stare, so you bolted after Neuvillette, taking two stairs at a time. 
Moments later, when Wriothesley recovered, and you’d been long gone, he sat in his chair, holding his wrist in awe. 
“Well,” he said to himself. “At least it’s reciprocated.” 
He smiled. “I just wonder when they’ll figure that little detail out for themselves.” 
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