#and I see it worked because you unblocked her just to prove my point

[kingkrillin]

this dude: I hate misogynists this dude: talks down to and dismissively towards a trans woman just to shut her up and look less scared of women after being called out for blocking all the women, blocks her again to keep her silent

you transandrophobia chuds who keep harassing trans women are invited to meet me, another trans man, at 1340 tamiami trail, port charlotte, florida where we can talk about it. i promise* i won't deck you in the face.

[sokkastyles]

Hi,

Hope you are doing well.

Thank you for the answer to my previous query. I had another query about Aang.

I once recall reading a meta that Aang getting hit by Azula's lightning was a punishment for him choosing power instead of love. I can't recall the whole thing, but from what I remember, it seems like Aang was punished because he chose the power of the Avatar State over his love of Katara. But that has me confused, because this power he needed to save the three nations from the Fire Nation. So, it makes no sense why him choosing this power was wrong, over his love for Katara.

I would like your thoughts over this.

This is a place where I get what the show was trying to do, but they framed it in absolutely the wrong way. I think Aang going into the Avatar State in Ba Sing Se was supposed to be him choosing power over love, hence the "I'm sorry, Katara," line. I think we are supposed to think that in his desperation to save everyone from Azula and the Dai Li, he chooses power, contrary to what the show earlier framed as the wise choice of choosing love over power.

The problem with this is that it's a false dichotomy. It supposes that what the Guru was telling him about giving up earthly attachments to unblock his chakras and enter the Avatar State meant giving up love altogether and choosing power over love, when it shouldn't mean that at all.

Giving up selfish attachments means accepting love, the kind of love that is giving and not taking. Aang can still love Katara, but he should not be using Katara as a replacement for his people or seeing her as someone who will come around eventually because he wants her to. This kind of love is sacrificial because it requires letting go of entitlement to the person, and if they really love you, they will come back to you on their own.

I really actually thought that this was the narrative being built for Aang and Katara at the tail end of season two, especially since it mirrors Zuko and Iroh's narrative so well. It also fits so well with the show's theme of setting up false dichotomies in order to later prove them false. See: earthbenders cannot bend metal, firebending is always destructive, the elements themselves as always seperate from each other, etc. The Guru gives this same advice to Aang, so why would he advise Aang to choose power over love, to choose another dichotomy? Because Aang understanding it as a dichotomy is a misunderstanding of what the Guru was trying to teach him.

But then Aang just "decides" to go into the Avatar State and we're supposed to believe the "I'm sorry" is him giving up his love for Katara. How did he accomplish this huge emotional work, since it was so hard for him before? We don't know. Especially in a moment when Katara is being threatened, a moment when he should realistically feel more attached and possessive of her than ever. You're telling me that after all that, Aang was able to grieve his people and reconcile his attachment to Katara and reach enlightenment all in, what, two seconds, when five minutes before he was saying he couldn't do it?

It makes no sense. Especially since he is at this point still misunderstanding what the Guru was trying to teach him.

Especially given his talk with Iroh in which Iroh said it was wise to choose happiness and love. It makes no sense, without any build up, for Aang to suddenly make the opposite decision, and the idea of him being punished for it makes even less sense, since we don't know why he did it. There was no visible internal conflict going on because Aang had already decided not to choose power over love. If he's supposed to be uncertain leading up to a wrong choice, show me that. The way the show has Zuko visibly torn between his love for Iroh and Katara's compassion and the power and validation he craves from his father.

It also makes no sense as a choice between power and love in the first place because he chose the power FOR Katara, because she was in danger. In the exact same way he rejected the Guru's advice because he had a vision of Katara in danger. So he actually didn't change anything. So being punished for choosing power doesn't make sense, because the thing he still needs to learn is that it was never a dichotomy in the first place, and that was supposed to unlock the power.

I said before that I think a real narrative punishment as a consequence for not understanding the Guru's advice would be Katara actually getting captured as a result of Aang's inability to go into the Avatar State. After that, Aang would spend a time more attached to Katara than ever, still unable to go into the Avatar State until he reconciles this internal conflict within himself, until he learns not to choose power for power's sake, or love for the sake of validation. Until he learns that his duty as Avatar is a duty of love, and that both of these things go hand in hand. The responsibility of power meeting the responsibility of what it means to love another human being.

Instead, the show has Aang just decide to go into the Avatar State, and replaces the internal conflict with "well Azula shot him so now he can't go into the Avatar State," so his internal conflict never actually gets resolved.

I also wrote about this here. And I think the fact that that asker saw a post claiming that this scene is Aang letting go of his attachment to Katara while you saw a post that framed it as him getting punished underlines the confusion over what the writers were trying to do with this scene and the sloppy way it's written, especially in comparison to other places where the writing is phenomenal.

[mcl-alloveragain]

My feels about Armin's Alternate Life ep.2

I liked the episode, even loved it. At first it shocked me how fast we got the fluff and Armin just wants another chance with us so quick, just after the kiss, but then I remembered that he was already acting like he wanted one in the first episode and now he just said that straightforward, since the kiss proved that Candy wants it too. The only thing I didn't like that much was how fast everything happened, I think it would be better if they still fought a bit at least at the beginning, but I understand there's a word limit and only 4 episodes to tell the whole story, so I can forgive them. But the episode felt extremely short because of that, when I finished it I was like "wait...already???"

The talk about the sound of a buzzer was nothing and everything at once, because it's so like them to question it in the middle of serious conversation lolololol

(And when I saw Armin's teary eyes, i swear I never wanted to suck a dick so bad in my life 😫)

Just as my Candy's, my brain stopped when he said he was working from park and I still don't know if he was joking or not. I mean, she's right, it would be like him. Since he's trying so hard. BECAUSE HE IS TRYING KAJSHXHUAJAJS

And it's the little things, you know?? Like, it's not even the fact that he agreed for a walk, but how he wasn't mean about it when they decided to go back. He was teasing her a little, but he said they can call it her win (it was not 🤡) and all. And how he is indeed careful with his words. He's so gentle with her, I just can't 🥹🥹🥹🥹

When we're at his apartment and he remembers our favourite food again, I think I don't have to say that my heart melted again?? Like DAMN.

And now we get the choice for the illustration and I'll gotta talk about the one with playing games first, because I WHEEZED WHEN ARMIN SAID IT'S NATHANIEL OMG (Nath, how dare you keep in touch with him all the time and not said a word about it in UL and LL to me, the love of your life????) and he was flirting with Candy AND ARMIN WAS JEALOUS?? WELL, UNCOMFORTABLE, BUT STILL????? ARMIN?????? AGAIN, ARMIN???!!!!!??? Okay, I know I'm exaggerating since he was jealous about Dake in HSL, but still... Idk, seeing him jealous about anything is so weird and yet sooooo satysfying sjjsjxb

Yeah, choosing LoL is way funnier and I love everything about it, but THE MOVIES.

damn i love the movies 🥹

I feel like I have done nothing this good in my life to deserve this amount of fluff, you know??? It's just too good 🥹🥹🥹🥹❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️

The cuddles, the forehead kiss, the fact that he said it was his best evening in a while even tho we we're just watching movie, I literally started crying because damn, he loves Candy so much 🥹❤️🥹❤️❤️❤️ He so does and shame on me, cause I actually never imagined Armin being so caring (but he still was my 2nd route in HSL, right after Nathaniel) and now that i saw it, i love him more than i ever did, like, he's 100% my type and i would so date him irl

And how they said goodbye, and he kissed her hand, and ksjshshhajzjsiiwjsjfhjsjajdjjshajshxva

I wish someone loved me just as much

But she didn't gave him her phone number nor she did never unblock his number as far as we know, so I wonder how will the 3rd episode start....

I wish I could write more but Even tho I've waited two days to clam down and speak calmly about it, i'm still so dizzy and so in love AND SO MAD I HAVE TO WAIT 3 WEEKS FOR EPISODE 3

i can't even be excited for Halloween because I would rather spend my whole life with Armin at this point 😫

[loving-all-for-loki]

Can you write one where the Rogers is assigning a new recruit to each avenger for training? Loki gets the new girl and he’s irritated thinking she’s just some normal human that hasn’t a clue how to fight properly because of her petite size. When it comes time for them to spar, she gives him hell. She fights with swords and is very skilled in the art. He says something to piss her off and she ends up blasting him away with powers she never told anyone about. Loki realizes what she is since he knows the magic she used. She’s part light elf but being half human she was abandoned and left to die just like Loki was. They end up bonding and work together on the team.

A/N: I hope you like it! I didn't focus a whole ton of them working together, but I feel like you get the point. It's a bit longer than my other one shots.

The Moon And Her Darkness

Summary: Y/N, the newest avenger, starts her first day of training. An unimpressed Loki’s doubts are proved to be wrong when she reveals herself to be stronger than he knew.

Word count: 2744

Warnings: angst, dick Loki

Forever Tags: @mm2305

-

Your blood pumps fast through your body as you stare at the raven haired god. Ever since you joined the team, he’s been giving you dirty looks and eye rolls. You tried to not pay attention to it since you know of his past (and have been warned by Tony), but as the newest Avenger trying to prove herself, you find yourself longing for his approval.

It has been a week since Nicky Fury showed up at your home, extracting you from it, and throwing you into the lion's den you called the Avengers. You never signed up for it, but given that you were on the government’s radar for a long time, you’re not surprised. A couple mishaps here and there made them take you on their own terms. They’ve decided that having super powers is not something to be normalized and that you couldn’t live like a normal civilian.

Although you want to be home, the Avengers have already shown to be a great family. Nat and Wanda have already taken you shopping while Steve gave you a tour of the tower. As far as the others, they have been out of sight. Bucky avoids everyone, Sam with him because they’re glued to the hip, and Tony is somewhere else working on new technology with Bruce. Clint? Thor? Who even knows. You’ve been thankful for the attention they have given you.

Except for Loki.

You remember the attack in New York and you won’t lie when saying that approaching the god is intimidating. He stands with great pride and power, it’s hard not to feel small, but when he stares at you the way he does, it’s harder. He doesn’t stop looking at you as if you were a rat he found in a sandwich. Disposable. Replaceable. Disgusting. You don’t expect much from the God being that he’s only staying here out of punishment for the attacks, but you had hoped for a little something more. Even a prank or two.

When Steve told you that you were going to start training, you expected hand to hand combat like the rest, not whatever involves Loki being in the gym at the same time as the two of you. He hasn’t said a word, but just stared at you as Steve goes over some basic disabling techniques and defense. Most of it is already burned in your brain from your childhood, being a warrior and all, but you still manage to learn some new things.

But learning as to why Loki is there, that still remains unclear. Everytime you throw a punch or try to block one of Steve’s, Loki scoffs at you and rolls his eyes. He looks completely relaxed on a bench in the room, yet he could not be looking at you with a more tense gaze. He looks worried, as if you’re going to get beaten to a pulp.

“Okay, what’s wrong?” You yell at him.

Panting, you block Steve’s last hit and turn to the younger Odinson.

“Sorry?”

“Oh, don’t sorry me. Cut the crap, Loki. What’s up?”

“I believe the sky is.”

You grab a knife off the wall and aim it in his direction, startling him slightly but not even shocking Steve.

“You stare at me with daggers in your eyes and judge my every move. You have yet to even talk to me since I joined the team. What do you have against me, you ass?”

“Y/N-”

“Shut it, Steve!” You yell, quickly aiming the dagger at him before returning to Loki, “You. Talk.”

“It’s just pathetic, that’s all.”

“Pathetic? You’re calling me pathetic?”

You start to charge at Loki, but Steve quickly wraps his arm around your waist, holding you back from gutting the god.

“Y/N, I wanted you to spar with him after me,” he cuts in.

“And why would I do that?”

“Because he's a skilled fighter who matches your level.”

“Oh, so I spar with the tricker who decides I’m too pathetic to fight. He’s going to teleport or some shit and stab me like he does with Thor.” Loki’s eyebrows raise at the mention of Thor getting stabbed. “Yes, I’ve heard the stories. I’m not that naive, Steve.”

“I won’t leave you alone with him. I’ll be here to watch and guide.”

“What do you know about fighting with me? I have magic beyond belief” Loki asks the both of you.

“I know more than you think,” I spit, turning back to Steve, “Can we do something else?”

“Well, you coud-”

“I am not sparing with Loki.”

“Okay, then how about weapons? Whatever one you want to start with?”

Loki scoffs again at the mention of you fighting any other way than hand to hand combat. He’s lucky you’re on the same team as him or else you would have decapitated him by now just because of annoyance. How can a man so attractive be so obnoxious?

You walk over to the wall of weapons were Steve and quietly discuss which ones you’ll practice with. He recommends knives so you can spar with Natasha when he’s gone, but the swords are more up your alley. They remind you of your childhood, the weapon of your people. Some days, you miss them, but you know they are fighting their own battle that is too dangerous for you.

Picking up the swords, Steve warns you he is not good which makes Loki laugh again. He has the right to this time because how do you practice with a man who doesn’t know what he’s doing. You can’t last ten minutes with Cap before you’re tired of his flailing. He’s really not good.

“Loki, you wouldn’t happen to know how to use swords would you?”

“I have some experience. Asgard knights and Valkyrie used them, we were forced to learn.”

He stands and takes Steve’s sword from him. Turning to you, he smirks, taking you in. Your frame looks so small compared to his, nothing but a mortal. He’s never admit it, but he finds you slightly adorable, in a helpless baby sort of way. You take proper stance and stare at Loki dead in the eye, determined to prove him wrong.

The two of you run at each other, swinging at any unblocked area you can, yet never hitting. He blocks your swing, pushing you back but not down. Looking up at him, you scream and run, thrusting your sword towards his neck and legs. He blocks you again, but not without stumbling. Before he’s able to get up, you land a blow right to his chest, knocking the air out of him. He hooks his foot around your leg and flips the two of you over so he hovers above you, sword to throat.

“I’ll admit it, you are good, but not great,” he laughs.

He stands up and walks off, setting the swords back on their holder on the wall. You gradually stand up, fury in your bones for the way he speaks to you.

“You… are irritable!” You yell.

Right before Loki gets to the door, he turns to face you. Steve rushes to your side.

“Y/N, stop. He’s not worth it.”

“Oh, he’s not worth it, alright,” you mutter to Steve, “He’s not worth the pride. The praise. Whatever the ‘glorious purpose’ he thinks he has. He’s just an insecure little boy who needs to prove himself over others, make them feel small so he feels superior. Just a bully.”

“I’d watch your tongue,” Loki warns.

“Or else what? You’ll challenge me to a words competition? See who has the best insults or can sound like the biggest douche because I think we all know who would win! Another check mark for your book of things you’re better at than ‘midgardians’ or ‘mortals’ or whatever degrading nickname you think of next.”

Loki’s chest heaves in anger. You’ve never seen someone so angry or heard anyone yelling at you with concern like Steve. Nothing he says registers in your head as Loki’s daring looks fill your mind. You’d almost be scared if you didn’t know he’s full of empty threats. Just a scared little god boy.

“You imbecile, think you can scare me?”

“Actually, I think anything can.”

“I can take words from someone who does not know me, but to be called a coward is not something I take lightly.”

“So what are you going to do about it? Huh?”

“Nothing, I don’t waste my time on people like you.”

“Oh, people like me? Because the great Frost Giant Asgardian is sooo superior.”

“Don’t you ever say that.”

Loki rushes to your side, grabbing you by the throat and lifting you up against the wall.

“Loki, stop it!” Steve yells.

“This is not about you, Rodgers. I suggest you leave before getting in the crossfire.”

“I can’t do that. The safety of this team-”

“Is your priority. I know you are honorable, but I highly suggest you leave.”

Steve hesitates at the sound of you gasping for air. You cling onto Loki’s hand, tightly wound around your throat. His veins pop out of his hand like a dehydrated man. Steve looks back at you, eyes now closed to focus on your breathing.

“Put her down first,” Steve orders.

“Fine, always have to be the hero.”

Loki sets you down and your body goes numb. Everything hurts, your throat swelling. You gasp for all the air you can, feeling it go down your throat and enter your lungs. It’s fresh, comforting, healing. Leaning your head back against the wall, you barely open your eyes to see Steve by your side.

“Are you okay?”

Not energized enough to speak yet, you nod your head and place your hand on his shoulder. Steve looks over at you with worry before turning back to Loki.

“Leave, now.”

“Gladly.”

Loki turns to walk away, but doesn’t. He stands there to listen to you and Steve. At this point, neither of you care. You’re too focused on not dying.

“Can you breathe?” Steve asks.

You nod your head.

“I can get you help. We have a hospital room.”

“No,” you choke, “I’m fine. I just need a moment.”

Steve nods, but doesn’t listen. He gets up and leaves the room, rushing down the hallways to get a nurse, leaving you alone with Loki.

“Why haven’t you left?”

“No reason.”

“Please, just go. I’m tired of fighting. You’ve done enough.”

Loki turns to look at you. You look weak, but actually weak this time. The purple tint to your skin is fading as your lungs self regenerate as you keep breathing. Gripping onto the wall behind you, you stand up. Your knees are weak, making you wobble as you do. You’re not lying. You’re tired of Loki. You’ve barely spoken to the man and he’s made two attempts on your life in ten minutes. Sure, you teased him, but doesn’t he deserve it for being an ass.

“Weak.” He mutters.

That was the last straw. You look up at him. He stares at you as if the devil himself has entered you and your eyes glow bright red, but you know what is wrong. Holding out your hand towards Loki. A glow erupts from behind you, bright yet dark. It’s dark blue like the night sky and Loki watches it in awe. In seconds, Loki’s body is flung through the training room doors, blasting him into the wall of the hallways. He feels his rib breaking, his head hitting the wall. He yells out in pain as you slowly approach him, the anger seeping through.

“Never call me weak.”

Loki flips his head up to look at you, shock running through his body. At the sound of his body collapsing, the other Avengers come running forward. They look upon the sight of you towering over the trickster god with a look they’ve never seen before. Ethereal. Godly. You look as if you’re a queen staring at her peasant handmaid. Anger. Controlling. Power.

“What the-” Bucky mutters.

“You,” Loki gasps.

He struggles to stand as the team tries to help but he refuses. You two locked eyes but nothing was said. “You’re an elf.”

Everyone looks back at you with confused faces, but you don’t say anything. Your body goes hot at the mention of the word ‘elf’. The fire inside you fades out as anxiety places it, waiting for Loki to continue.

“I knew if someone was here to figure it out it’d be you,” you whisper.

“Light elf yes?”

“Yes, moon elf to be exact.”

“How are you here? Aren’t the-”

“Yes, they’re away. I was left to die. Our town got ransacked, everyone fled. No one stopped for me.”

“Then how are you here?”

“The Air elves. They got word of what happened and came. Found me. Took me back, but-”

“You weren’t suited. They found out.”

“Yes.”

There’s a moment of silence between you and the god. His eyes shine with sadness, tears coming to the corners. He looks at you with great pity as the wall inside you breaks.

“Can someone explain what’s happening?” Steve asks.

“Can you tell?” You ask Loki.

He nods, “Yes. Y/N is a moon elf, a tribe of light elves. They’re as high up as Asgard in the nine realms, powerful warriors. They’ve been at the center of every creature out there. People have been after them for their weapons, gems, and wealth. A landmark for every thief and warrior in the universe.”

“My town was destroyed when I was a little girl. Nobody wanted me because I was a child. I was a burden to them.”

“She was left for dead to be found by the Air Elves. Another tribe. Not as powerful. But they didn’t want her and there’s only one reason why they wouldn’t want a moon elf. She’s a half-breed.”

“Moon elves are the only ones who tolerate them. Half human, half elf. Considering many of them come from moon elves, they’re not despised, but Air Elves.”

“They dropped you off on Midgard to be picked up by someone else. I assume you hid your powers?” “I had to. I acted out once when I was little and my parents freaked out. They sent me away. I lived in a orphanage before some group took me, trained me, helped me hone in my powers. They saved me.”

“Until you got to old and left.”

“Didn’t know where to go. I became a waitress at some back alley bar, lived above it in an apartment with my manager. Lived paycheck to paycheck.”

“Then?”

“Nicky Fury came to me. I was on SHIELD’s radar and they wanted me on the Avengers.”

The room goes silent. Throughout your talking you missed the way Loki got considerably closer to you. You practically stand right under his nose. Loki raises his hands and places them on your shoulders, getting your attention. You two look each other in the eye for a long moment.

“I am… so sorry.”

You feel the tears forming in your eyes as Loki pulls you into his chest, holding you by your waist. The team watches in awe as the closed off god embraces you. Slowly, everyone leaves you two in the hallway. An hour goes by as you cry in Loki’s eyes.

Eventually, Loki picks you up bridal style and brings you to your bedroom. He helps you get dressed for the night and settled in bed before you grab his hand, making him turn back to face you. His eyes are no longer riddled with anger or hatred, but kindness and pity. He looks at you like you’re a little lamb to be protected.

“Yes, darling?”

“Stay with me?”

He nods before undressing and getting in bed with you. He pulls you close, your head leaning on his chest, and places an arm around your waist.

Every night goes on like this. No matter what happened in the day, even if you two got into an argument, Loki always found his way back by your side in your bed. You would have never expect it from how he treated you at first, but after the last few months since you met him, you find yourself growing closer to the god.

Loki slips into your bed for what feels like the 1482nd time. Resting your head on his chest, Loki pulls you close to his body.

“Goodnight, darling.”

[yunkiwii]

—potions gone wrong—

☆ hogwarts au ☆

pairing: bsf!hyunjin x gn!reader | ft. jeongin and mentions of minho

supportive oc: angela, female

genre: sfw. comedic and chaotic, may be considered fluff by some people

wc: 2.4k

warnings: hints of jealousy, mentions of illegal (magical world wise) actions, potion-induced obsession

a/n: i'm pretty sure that in the harry potter series amortentia doesn't work the way i described here, but let's just ignore that shall we? ♡

summary: two boys decide to make a love potion to conquer the crush of one of them. unfortunately, something seems to have gone wrong and y/n needs to step in..

shout out to: ficscafe prompt dialogue event ♡

↳ "I'll give you 20 bucks if you kiss me."

↳ "I don't think that's legal, but we can work around it."

↳ "Shut up, this isn't a wattpad fanfic"

Completely imersed in the pile of books you gathered in the library in order to try and understand more about potions, you get startled when a boy throws himself into the chair next to you, a yellow stripped tie hitting your head in the process.

"I'll give you 20 bucks if you kiss me."

"What? No!", you give him a disgusted and confused look before digging your head into the old dusty pages again.

"Come on!! Angela keeps coming to me trying to snuggle and kiss me and-", as dramatic as he is, Hyunjin pretends he is going to be sick, exaggerating on the nasty sounds way too close to your ear.

"What? Why?", your bestfriend finally caught your full attention as you turn to face him, "Wait, Angela as in like, Angela your major crush perfect-Angela? Weren't you supposed to like, I don't know, enjoy the attention?" But then the face he makes, his cheeks turning shades of pink as his gaze drifts away from you and he sinks down in his chair in embarrassment, realization hits you, "No! No you did not! Are you like what, dumb?", you flick is head inducing a loud squeal to come out his mouth.

"It was Jeongin's idea!", his voice three pitches higher than before, "And I can't be that dumb if I managed to make that stupid love potion work. But that's beside the point, will you do it or not?"

"Do what? Kiss you? And how will that help you dimwit?", you went to flick his head again because, to be fair, he deserved it, but Hyunjin knew you too well and held your hand in time to stop you from hurting his pretty face, as he likes to state.

"To break the curse! Make her give up on me by making her think we're together or something!"

"What curse? There is no curse! And she isn't even thinking right now, she might just kill me out of jealousy!", at this point you're pratically yelling at each other and are forced to leave the library, resuming this odd conversation on your way to Ravenclaw's common room.

"I still can't believe you let yourself go with what Jeongin tells you. He's evil you know?"

"Should've guessed by the green scarf huh?", you slap his arm lightly, not very fond of the jokes made regarding the fact your other best friend is a Slytherin.

"So, how do I solve this?", he basically pleas at you as you sit down on the desk next to the fireplace, as far away as possible from your housemates. Every two in three students has made, or attempted to make, some sort of potion or spell to have something in their advantage. However, amortentia wasn't just "some potion", and if some were to find out that Hwang - head in space - Hyunjin succeded at his attempt they would never leave his poor ass alone, so for now your plan was to keep this subject as low-key as possible.

"Marry her." you say nonchalantly while, without his knowledge, already looking up all about amortentia, its possible side effects and how long it would take to wear off - if ever-, receiving a whine in return.

"It was really fun at first, you know? The flirting was cute, the smooches were great," and boy he put some emphasis on that adjective,"but now it's like she's obsessed with me! She's clingy and talks with that annoying voice and I can't seem to get rid of her!" Hyunjin throws himself face down into the old couch and whines again, words muffled by the pillow where he burried his face. "She's probably standing right outside the door just now!"

"Wait, what do you mean it was fun at first? How long has this been going on Hwang Hyunjin? And why am I only knowing of this now?", you turn around in your chair way too fast, hitting with your knee on the other chair next to you before facing the mop of brown hair all spread around the blue pillow.

"Well, I barely ever saw you all week!", the boy turns his head just the minimum amount to look at you, "You're either with your nose buried in those old books, or with your hands all over Lee Minho! Not my fault you no longer have time for your friends..."

"First of all," you pull out the pillow he's laying on, his face falling on the black cushion as a few curses leave his lips, "lower your tone! I did not spend the week with my hands all over Minho, I am tutoring him in potions!"

"Which you're not that good at, that's why you walk everywhere with those fat books..." Hyunjin rolls his eyes at you as he recovers the pillow from your hands again, "Don't deny it (y/n), you've got the hots for him!"

"Oh sweetie, I sense jealousy in your tone... is that why you gave Angela a poorly made potion?", you show him the page you've been reading between the backs and forths of your not so relevent argument, only for him to realize the potion should've worn off two days ago. Instead, it only got worse. "Perhaps you could use some reading too huh?"

The boy rips the book from your hands, grunting between his teeth sounds you doubted to be words as he makes his way out, only to shut the door as soon as he opens it, squealing loudly when his eyes meet the ones from the Gryffindor's brunette standing right in the middle of the hallway.

"I'm telling you (y/n), she won't leave me alone! It's like she's obsessed!", Hyunjin keeps his back against the door, afraid the girl could open it by some miracle driven by her potion induced feelings, hence she doesn't have the password.

"Well, you see Hyunjin... that's because she is! And it's your fault, you should simply face it..."

"Oh I'm going the kill Jeongin...", the boy grunts ignoring your words completely as the whines coming from the other side of the door overlapped them, "Can you go get him? Or get rid of her?"

You make your way to the door Hyunjin refuses to unblock and, when words and pushes didn't make the tall boy move, you had to resort to your wand, although the simple threat was more than enough for him to make way for you. He stayed hidden in the corner as you parted the door slightly to tell the girl her beloved had disapparated from there, and she should probably look at the quidditch court. The fact she believed you only proved how strongly she was affected by the potion, since everyone knew Hyunjin would never go to a sports court by his free will and disapparating into and out Hogwarts wasn't possible at all.

As soon as the path got clear you both made your way to the shrieking shack through the whomping willow everyone was so afraid of, but that was exactly why the three of you claimed it as your secret meeting place.

Jeongin was already waiting as you sent him a message through your magic notepad when you got rid of Angela, and you had to secure Hyunjin to not throw the book at the Slytherin boy who only laughed in return. The laughter didn't last long though, because you only stopped Hyunjin so you would be the one scolding the younger one, flicking his head the same way you did to the lover boy earlier.

"Hey! What did you do that for?", the boy frowned at you rubbing his forehead.

"To bring you back to reality, so you can both fix the mess you made!"

"But what's the problem?" Jeongin looked at you with honest confusion on his face, "Is this about the potion? You know that thing wears off in like a week or so right?"

"Exactly... do the math now genius..." Hyunjin rolls his eyes before leaning his back against the spiderweb covered walls.

The three of you spent the whole afternoon trying to figure out what went wrong in the first place, you analyzing every single detail of the procedure, and the boys trying to recreate every step they took to reach the final product. But, after hours of research and theories nothing seemed to have gone wrong, well except for the exaggerated and long-lasting effect of the potion.

"We should just obliviate the poor girl..." suggested Jeongin at one point, head in his hands as a sing of withdrawal.

“I don’t think that’s legal, but we can work around it...” You agree with him closing the book you were now reading for the fifth time.

"Are you guys serious? Because that sounds great! Can we get away with it?" Hyunjin's eyes were sparkling in hope as he shifted in his seat to a more straight up position, ready to do whatever it took to get to walk in peace around the school, without being unexpectedly smooched in the cheek and squezeed into a hug every time the girl spotted him.

"No, it's a joke!" You both sigh at your friend's desperation before calling it a day, deciding to resume your research first thing in the morning.

As per usual, you met with the boys for breakfast at the dining hall, though this time they weren't alone and you couldn't help out a giggle when Angela, as glued to Hyunjin as possible while feeding him something funny looking with a spoon, winked at you as soon as you sat in front of her and next to Jeongin. The latter looked almost as horrified as the pampered boy, and you had to focus to try and keep yourself from bursting into laughter before the scene that was unfolding in front of you.

Hyunjin looked like an annoyed pouty baby slumped in his chair - as an attempt to go unnoticed -, while the smiley girl, - one that seemed to have way too much energy in the morning -, pulled some strands of the boy's hair behind his ear before kissing his cheek, "You're so pretty Hyunnie-jin, and I hate to leave you," the girl pouts as she pinches his cheeks rather aggressively, "but don't worry sugarplum, I'll be waiting for you in the astronomy tower when you leave class." This time the kiss is aimed at his lips, but Hyunjin antecipates her intentions and dodges his head with a slick move, just not fast enough to be fully free of her, ending up with her lips awkwardly attached half to his jaw, half to the corner of his lip.

"So you decided to give in?" You couldn't help the grin that was forming on your face, finding it hilarious how the universe always had a way to keep things balanced.

"Shut up. I had to if I didn't want to starve myself, it was one sacrafice I was willing to take." Hyunjin furiously rubs his face with a napkin, as if it would erase the memory of the previous demonstration of affection.

"I say it's the karma, you were basically playing and manipulating her the moment you gave her the potion, now you face the consequences."

"It's like she's taking revenge..." Jeongin mumbles more to himself than to his friends, but he was still heard, and had now two pairs of eyes locked on him waiting for a further explanation to what seemed to be a pretty plausable theory. "We already concluded we didn't do anything wrong, right?"

"Yes, it's still hard to believe though..." you take a sip of your pumpking juice with a raise eybrow, honestly still impressed at how they pulled that off.

"So what if she got aware that Hyunjin gave-"

"We, Jeongin, we!! This wasn't just me okay? I just got the, uh, benefits?"

"Ok, sure, whatever... What if she became aware that we," emphasis on the pronoun as he glanced at Hyunjin, "gave her a potion and now that it wore off she is pulling this act as a pay back? Because, according to our lover boy, if it was nice at first then why would she suddenly start acting all obsessively?"

Both you and Hyunjin took a moment to reflect on this new theory, one Jeongin was really proud of as showed by his smug grin when he crossed his arms and relaxed back in his chair.

"I hate to admit it, but that makes a lot of sense... and explains why she winked at me when I got here..."

"Okay yes, she is faking it... why else would she wink at (y/n) when I'm the one she's supposed to be focused on?", the boy threw his arms up with a questionting - and slightly offended - look.

"Time for confrontation!" you were already standing up with Hyunjin following the lead, but you held yourselves back when you realized Jeongin wasn't moving, looking between the both of you still grinning.

"I've got a better idea..."

It was a terrible idea, you thought, and wanted no part in it at all so you let the boys discuss the details while you just sat there judging their poor life decisions.

The plan was for Hyunjin, instead of confronting her and get it over with as you suggested, to play along as if he too was deeply in love with her, and see who would break out of character first. As much as you tried to explain how childish and stupid the plan was, the boys simply wouldn't listen to you, convinced this was the best idea they've ever had.

Hyunjin got oddly excited about this and ran to astronomy class, already antecipating the act he would pull off when he'd see the girl waiting for him at the bottom of the stairs when he'd get out, leaving you and Jeongin alone in the dining all. The contrast of your opinions on this was pretty clear in your faces, Jeongin laughing loudly, you furrowing your brows and shaking your head in disapproval.

Then, all of a sudden, the boy stops laughing and looks at you, "What if they actually end up falling in love after all this?"

He sounded seriously concerned yet amused at the same time, while you only rolled your eyes at him before collecting your books and leaving for class as well.

"Shut up, this isn't a wattpad fanfic."

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[karezzasstuff]

From the project of interviewing Stanley S. Bass about his experiences with Karezza techniques, The Life Science Publishing created the 2008 book Energy-Karezza. Here Dr. Bass tells the story of how, in his 30’s, he was on his way to become a celibate yogi through Brahmacharya, when he learned about reaching the same spiritual goal via Karezza & Tantra. He decided to try Karezza instead.

Even though his personal goal was spiritual, Dr. Bass soon discovered that women loved Karezza, and couldn’t get enough. When he started teaching the improved Energy-Karezza method to couples with marital problems, the results were astounding. Usually, within weeks, the couple had fallen in love again. Problematic marriages healed, becoming more and more harmonious and stronger with time.

Over time, over 50+ years, he not only gained experience concerning every aspect of Karezza/Tantra, but also – thanks to his energy-understanding, being an orthopathic doctor – developed an improved, more powerful & easy-to-learn, version. Traditional “Karezza/Tantra” can be difficult for men, but “Energy-Karezza/Tantra” is easy, and also gives more pleasure & prolongation..

INTRODUCING OTHERS TO KAREZZA

Karezza is about one thing, the man has to control himself. It is so easy. I got so good at this control that I soon was able to go almost a whole year with no accidents. With very heavy sex - three times a week, four hours each session. It didn't take long to get to a high level of proficiency.

In a few months I was very good at it already.

It is very simple, it is natural. It is not difficult. Prove it for yourself, don't take my word for it. Try it out. The first time I heard about it, it was strange to me, so I tried it. It didn't take me long to get good at it. It was easier than I thought. In fact, I taught Karezza to a lot of friends, and everyone had success.

If one of them asked me, "how do I know if it will work?", I gave him a simple method of trying it. I usually said, "why don't you first try:

1. Don't have an orgasm quickly, but wait until the woman is finished, until she has had her enjoyment. Practice holding back for half an hour, for an hour, for several hours, if you can.

2. Then you'll see that your own orgasms are better; they are more enjoyable.

3. Also try having an orgasm only every other time you have sex.

Skipping one time. Every other time, try without orgasm. See how you feel."

With my sex students, those were my instructions, to begin with. These instructions summarize basic traditional Karezza. But these simple instructions could still be difficult for some men. They lost control (ejaculated) early, and were never able to do Karezza for a full hour.

Therefore, to make it easier, I gave my students some Energy-Karezza secrets. I asked them to improve their diet, and to avoid alcohol and all drugs. I told them not to eat before sex, because a man can not control himself after he has eaten. Why? Because then too much blood goes to the stomach.

Also, I gave very detailed instructions on the best movements in sex. I told them to move slowly, and explained how to move, so they wouldn't get too excited, e.g. sideways, in semicircles, avoiding the in-out moves.

For the premature ejaculators, I told them to give up salt, and to not use anything spicy hot, avoid hot peppers, stay away from spices, because this throws them out of control. And then I told them to use certain motions, slow motions, that makes it easy to control oneself. That's all.

Then the women will get the pleasure, because the men are controlling themselves.

For some men the pleasure was so overwhelming that they were still unable to control themselves very long, more than perhaps 45 minutes, even if their diet was good and they had high vitality. In these cases I think the solution is just doing it over and over. Sometimes men, just like women, may need saturation with lots of high-pleasure peak orgasms, before they can start with serious self-control and higher-pleasure valley orgasms. It may take months, but in the end they will get there.

I myself was never overly concerned with the clitoris or the G-spot, because the Karezza was so enjoyable and I was so good at it that a woman couldn't hold out long. If they wanted to have an orgasm, they could have it quick. Women enjoyed it.

The women were very happy. After beginning Karezza, it became unnecessary to calculate all this stuff. I never had to actually figure it out.

All I did was to function naturally, the way I felt like, without thinking about it. And it was right, for every woman. If one gets too mechanical about it, one becomes a dud. Then it is not real. Real sex has nothing to do with the brain, it has to do with feelings, true feelings and movement.

That's all. The brain is not needed.

From page 45 the Technique to Paradise.

🍎🐍🏖️

YAB YUM

What are you experiencing?

~ by yab yum

Be patient. At first you can't experience the orgasmic part of this process. Some get it on their first try and for some it can take years. Keep practicing with the exercise your teacher gives you. Even if you don't experience the orgasm, just the breath and energy circling alone is of great value. It will clear blocks so that eventually the orgasm can pass through you. Blocks can be experienced in many ways – crying, gagging, getting frustrated, resurfacing old memories. Just keep breathing. Visualize letting go of the "old" on the exhale, ringing out the "new" on the inhale. Energy levels will most likely rise and fall, like mercury in a thermometer. Tell your partner where it slipped. Your partner will encourage you to tap into your sexual center when energy is slipping. One of the main keys to learning this technique is KNOWING that it is possible.

(When asked if she had an orgasm, Sara responded 🙂

It was uninterrupted, uninterrupted… This was definitely something else, which I have never experienced so fully.

(Sara was then asked if there were any psychological changes.)

Oh yes, sure. From the point of view of spiritual practice it is always full of insight, a kind of insight that comes after, about how I am in ecstasy in my usual state, because it is obvious that the ecstasy is inherent in the body (level), of my being… and also of course this would affect my meditation. I am much more relaxed and receptive physically, emotionally and psychologically when I sit down to meditate…. I don't know what this has to do with anything, but meditation becomes very sexual, very physical, playing with all these hormones. Very often in my meditation there is a stage like deepening where it goes through something like lovemaking in a hormonal sense. I feel the heat and change of energy and so forth, and then it just cools down. That is when deep meditation begins.

It is absolutely blissful in ecstasy because the bliss is something I feel in the body. The ecstasy is something where the body is no longer. Energy goes up. His community. It is love. The transcendent, the energy feeling, transcends even the light that I'm talking about in meditation, and just went into the light.

One tree merges with another tree, the earth merges with the trees, the trees merge with the sky, the sky merges with the unknown...you merge with me, I merge with you...everything merges...differences lost, melting and merging as waves into other waves…an enormous unity vibrating, alive, without limits, without definitions, without distinction…the sage melting into the sinner, the sinner flowing together in the sage…becoming good becoming bad, becoming bad…the night turning into the day, day turning into night… life melts into death, death plunges into life again – then everything has become one.

This has changed my experience with sexuality forever… It has blown up things like this what you have about sex, the good feeling you get from sexual experience or trying to get. It broke that because it was so obviously about submission. It wasn't about me trying to do something. It was about not doing something, but rather receiving or allowing it, rather than doing and creating and making.

This is the most profound healing practice I have ever encountered. It has awakened me to realize that my body is often shut off from the bliss and ecstasy it might be experiencing. Through this practice I have come to learn that emotional pain occurs when orgasmic energy does not flow freely through my body and that there is an infinite flow of orgasmic energy available to me. It has taken me years to gradually release the tension and pain in my body and I still have areas of tension to unblock. The sensations can be different each time depending on my condition, sometimes there is a pulsating vibration and sometimes it feels like some kind of electrical current circulating through my genitals throughout my body. There may be tears of joy. My mind can be perfectly clear and it can seem like everything I feared has been resolved. When a certain area of ​​tension is unblocked and the orgasmic energy circulates, there is always an amazing sense of oneness with the life being awakened.

Mel 40 Auckland

My teacher knew how to touch – and where to make contact – He knew places to touch that I didn't know about – and soon I was on my way to another place in another universe. I was in a trance of breathing and sweat and pleasure that so long and so dead do had gone – that I traveled through light and sound. I never knew that such an experience could be had without actually making love. When I finally climaxed and climaxed and climaxed, I couldn't believe I was having a sexual climax in the presence of someone other than my husband. I felt both excitement and a little embarrassment. Looking back at this moment, I would never have thought that having an orgasm for another man would actually be the "beginning" of this whole journey in Tantra

Emma S 35

Auckland

And this is the joy of Cosmic Spiritual Orgasm, because you disappear for a moment. That moment is very small, but its impact is immense. For a moment you are no longer the ego, you do not think in terms of 'I', for a moment you dissolve into the oneness of the all, you become one with the whole, you pulsate with the whole. You are no longer an individual… you are no longer limited to your body. You have no limitations, for a moment you are unlimited, infinite.

That is the meaning of Cosmic Spiritual Orgasm – that your frozen energy melts, becoming one with this universe, with the trees and the stars, and the woman and the man, and the rocks – for a single moment, of course. But in THAT moment you have a kind of consciousness that is religious, that is sacred, that is one with all things. – OSHO

Unbelievable! Some are very strong and some are wonderfully subtle. In general, the more time you spend building up the energy, the more powerful the sensations. You experience “electricity” throughout your body, hands, feet and lips tingle, and there is a sense of letting go and receiving at the same time. You will feel high, euphoric and light-headed. It feels very different from a clitoral orgasm (but it can happen at the same time as a clitoral orgasm). You see a seed sprout, flowers appear on a tree somewhere, the birds are singing – the whole phenomenon is sexual. It is life manifesting in many ways. When the bird sings, it is a sexual call, an invitation. When the flower attracts butterflies and bees, it is an invitation, because the bees and butterflies bear the seeds of reproduction. Everything seems to be divided into these two polarities. And life is a rhythm between these two opposites. Repulsion and attraction, coming closer and getting far… these are the rhythms.

Z

[blind-alchemists]

Meta-Analysis of the Rift Mage Specialization

I said in February I was going to do it, and it only took me seven months to follow through!

Anyway. Analyzing game-play elements for narratives purposes has become somewhat of a hobby of mine ever since I really got into GameLit. Then, I started "fangs" and felt that my fight scenes were boring, so I build ability trees reminiscent of DA:I's for my OCs. You know, as you do. During that process, though, the lack of banter acknowledging several choices struck me as odd. Especially regarding specializations. Especially when it comes to Solas'.

We’ll be taking a look at (in order)

1. Description

2. Codex Entry

3. Skills

a. in comparison to DA: II’s Primal & Force Mage

4. Specialization Dialogue with Solas

5. Conclusion

Disclaimer: I talk a lot (this post might have about 2.5k). And, I promise you, you'll be tired of seeing 'the Fade this' and 'the Veil that' at the end of it.

Description

“These mages draw upon the force of the Fade, either pulling matter from the Fade to attack or twisting the Veil itself into a weapon to stagger or crush their enemies.”

[source – DA wiki; bolding mine]

So, lore-wise, mages do ‘draw upon the Fade’. Sure. But do they ‘pull matter from the Fade’? Absolutely not.

Physical things and the Fade rarely mix well. Plus – this is mainly my theory – the way magic is utilized (the 'drawing upon the Fade part') requires it to pass through the Veil. Magic being a form of energy, and thus not physical, does not constitute to ‘pulling matter from the Fade’.

That's the first thing other mages (read: Dorian, Vivienne, possible the Inquisitor) should (or could) have referenced in banter/dialogue.

The rest of the sentence ('twisting the Veil into a weapon') is also highly interesting, since there is little known about the Veil. Nobody knows how it works. And, thus, nobody should be capable enough to manipulate it consistently enough to use it as a weapon. But considering it's Solas who gets this specialization - well. He knows the Veil well enough, don't you think? (Which is why I think Rift Mage should have been Solas' personal, individual specialization like Fenris' Lyrium Ghost, but I just really like personalized skill trees in general.)

However, having answered that question, connecting magic so closely to the very thing can be described as a “magical vibration that repels the Fade”, I'm curious about how it would work. Since, you know, mages are inevitably tied to the Fade. Wouldn't the Veil repel a try to manipulate it by a mage? Is using mana the same thing as drawing energy from the Fade? If so, it would be straight-up impossible to actually use such a method for any ordinary mage (read: not Solas). If mana can be used without the Fade, it would be possible, but is such a thing feasible? Can you switch between spells and Veil quickly enough without horrific consequences such as possibly tearing yourself apart?

Very interesting topic. Would love to go into it more, but at that point, I'd become subjective, so let's end it here.

To summarize: Rift mages do things (physically pulling things from the Fade plus using the Veil) normal mages don't do. There is also a chance, logically speaking, that no one else but Solas (or mage!Inquisitor) can accomplish such a feat without dying a horrific death.

Codex Entry

From "Power Bleeds: Harness the Flow." Your Trainer's words make one passage stand out:

There are no tomes dedicated to this manipulation. There has been no time for academics, only the practical—and not in a manner that mitigates risk. Power in a raw form has found an outlet, both visible and in ways that only we of arcane proclivity can sense. The risk is great.

An account:

From this page forward, these are the notes of Thelric. They began as the work of my mentor Julion, and I will continue in the research she began, as she cannot, because she is dead. The rift we were examining did not react well to her last investigation. We believed ourselves prepared for demonic manifestation. We were not prepared for how the energies we expected would be encountered. Well-versed in the forces that magic can produce, my senior was surprised by an alteration, a deviance. That which previously had to be coaxed is now a flood that must be staunched. The same amount in different intensity, quick to expose fault in the way it is accessed. She drew too much, expecting resistance. There was none, and her form suffered the brunt. Tread carefully in studies of new matters, for I cannot unsee the end of her.

Scattered symbols and sketches follow.

[source – DA wiki; bolding mine]

Apparently DA:I has a thing for hiding the true horror in Codex Entries and off-hand comments.

Here, we learn one key fact: The school of Rift Magic is relatively new ('no tomes dedicated to this manipulation'). I think it's safe to assume the possibility - and thus research concerning it - emerged around the time the Breach appeared. So it's new, people have no idea what they're doing, but it somehow works. A little like the whole time magic thing, funnily. (That brings me back to a lot of questions I have about the Veil: Just how powerful is it? Just how deeply is it intervened with Thedas?)

Reading further, the entry seems to (only) stress how dangerous Rift Magic is. Who would have thought! No, really, it's a fair point to empaphize. I'm not certain the Trainer and his previous teacher (or anyone else but Solas) know what kind of role the Veil plays in this, and so of course experiments are going to get ugly. The Veil holds a much greater importance than the people of Thedas realize.

And, in a very similar vein: The people of Thedas don't know much about directly interacting with the Fade through, say, a rift, which poses another risk. The wiki entry establishes two things in particular that are relevant here: Using spells (in the Fade itself) has unpredictable results, and one can draw unprecedented power from it while sleeping.

The codex entry cited above proves that. A rift is a direct connection to the Fade, and thus unpredictable ('She drew too much, expecting resistance. There was none') and that power is too much to handle ('her form suffered the brunt').

My theory is that, while a certain flunction is natural to the Fade, the Veil also plays a role here. Which I'm not sure. But it has one.

Personally, I wouldn't be sure the risks of a horrific death outweigh the benefits of power, but let's look more in depth at that!

Skills

Which brings me to the abilities themselves.

The first two you can choose from are Veilstrike and Stonefist. (Which I think should have had their names changed but, oh, well.)

Veilstrike: “You recreate your own fist from the essence of the Fade and smash nearby foes to the ground.” (Upgrades being Punched Down and Wounded Veil, but they don’t have anything interesting for this analysis. Note the names, though.)

Curious here is the 'recreate [...] from the essence of the Fade' part here. On first glance, it sounds like a rather ordinary spell, right? But it's not. That's just the 'hiding in plain sight for the first playthrough' aspect of Solas' character.

Mages do shape their spells with energy from the Fade (as far as my assumptions go). Maybe they can also recreate something. I'll give them that much. But the essence of the Fade - the inherit, unchanging nature of it - can't be manipulated by them. I think that's specifically a trait only Dreamers can have. (More evidence for my 'Rift Mage should have been Solas' personalized, individual specialization' hc!)

There is an argument to be made if this already constitutes for 'pulling matter from the Fade', but this isn't even the funkiest part yet.

Stonefist: “You summon a boulder from the Fade and smash it into your target, sending them flying.” (Upgrades being Shatterstone and Unblockable Force.)

'Summon a boulder from the Fade', you know, as in, bring physical matter from the Fade to the other side of the Veil. A thing that is pretty much unheard of. Remembers what happens to spirits when they pass violently through the Veil? There is an entire game dealing with that. (I mean, stones won't hopefully turn into demons, but my point is that bringing things through, usually, is not a wise idea.

Another thing someone could have commented on.

Passives: Restorative Veil, Encircling Veil, Smothering Veil, Twisting Veil.

Unfortunately, neither of these descriptions give me much, but they all have the ‘Veil��� component in their name, so that’s interesting.

Upon closer inspection, the Veil can function in a variety of ways: speeding up mana recovery, further weakening enemies, boosting your own damage. (Veilstrike being an example of a means of attack.)

Now, my question here would be: Do over mages notice changes in the Veil? Do they feel it shift and bend? If not, well, that's one thing. if they do, even subconsciously, I'd want banter. (I want a lot of banter, though. Just generally speaking.)

Pull of the Abyss: “You create a tiny rift that pulls enemies toward a central point.” (Upgrades being Shaken Veil and Devouring Veil.)

I can live with never hearing anything about everything else. Sure. But this one? This damned skill? You're telling me I read that the first time I played the game, nodded, and that was it?

'You can create a tiny rift-' I'm sorry, do you what now? After a good a couple of hours of learning just how bad rifts are?

And the upgrade names. Shaken Veil, Devouring Veil - is there anything this thing can't do, except for becoming more and more horrifying and giving me bad vibes ofr whatever DA4 will do with it?

Firestorm: “You summon flaming meteors, raining fire down upon enemies all over the area for the next several seconds. This ability consumes and is powered by focus.”

This one is ... honestly, I don't like it being here. It's an AOE skill, which does fit in with the rest, but it's fire and it seems rather randomly assigned compared to other focus abilities with a more personal note (Haste, Rampagne, Cloak of Shadows, Mark of the Rift).

Doesn't give a lot here to analyze, except that raining down flaming meteors is the level of (global) destruction I can see happening in the future if Solas isn't stopped. So. That's fun.

(It's the ultimate skill in the Fire/Ice tree in DA:II, or at least the ability there has the same name.)

DA: II Comparison

Nearing the end, I'll take a brief look at the Force Mage specialization from DA:II and the Primal base skill tree for mages. Both have some interesting similarities.

First, Primal.

Stonefist: “The mage hurls a stone projectile that strikes with massive force.”

It's only the name and the effect, honestly, but it is curious to see it in a skill tree that focuses exclusively on the elements earth and lightning. (Because Pride demons also use electricity ... yeah, yeah. I'm reading too much into this.)

Petrify: “The mage entombs an enemy in stone, leaving the foe temporarily unable to move. However, the target becomes more resistant to damage for the duration of the spell.”

This has nothing to do with Rift Mage, but in light of Trespasser, I'll just leave it here for your consideration. Petrifying people is neither new nor exclusive to Evanruis.

Now, onto Force Mage.

Fist of the Maker: “The mage slams enemies into the ground with incredible power, against which armor is no protection.”

The effect sounds like Stonefist (Primal) and Veilstrike.

Pull of the Abyss: “The mage conjures a maelstrom of energy that draws enemies to its center while slowing them to a crawl.”

This one is similar to the Rift Mage skill with the same name, so it might have served as an inspiration (or base).

Overall, though: nothing much to say here. Maybe I could talk more about Rift Mage being focused on crowd control, but that is probably for game-play balance. I could connect that to Solas' character and analyze every little thing to death. I'm not doing it, though.

Specialization Dialogue

Solas: You have begun practicing new magical forms. Interesting. You seem to be drawing upon the raw substance of the Fade, likely using your mark as a catalyst. I use similar techniques, although it took me years to learn that. Why did you choose such an esoteric area of study?

Inquisitor: (if chosen) I hoped that studying such magic would me help better understand the Fade.

Solas: While our fight affords little time for formal study, the wise can better themselves even in the midst of battle. Perhaps especially then. I hope your new studies serve you well.

[source]

Let’s go through this slowly.

‘You seem to be drawing upon the raw substance of the Fade-’ Alright, we’ve talked about that. Makes sense he’d comment on it. ‘likely using your mark as a catalyst’ Sorry? The Inquisitor is doing what? I’m not saying it’s not possible, I’m just saying it might not be an overly smart idea to use the Anchor in that way. Because it’s attached to the Inquisitor’s arm. And because the Inquisitor knows what happens if it snaps out of control. So, purposefully doing something that might cause you agonizing pain? Mh. Yeah. No, thanks.

Also. The 'drawing upon the raw substance of the Fade' part makes me think that the Anchor does give the Inquisitor Dreamer-like abilities. Forcefully, and possibly difficult to control, and the Inquisitor might not be aware of it, but. That would be an interesting aspect to explore.

‘I use similar techniques, although it took me years to learn that’. Well. Yeah. Mostly a sound response, except I’m not really sure it's true. Why does he say years? Because he didn’t go right to sleep after creating the Veil, or because he studied such methods theoretically beforehand? I doubt he refers to the time Inquisition spans, because it’s not that long, cannocially, (isn't it like ... a year? I forget what the devs said), but … I don’t know. It doesn't sit right with me. Solas never truly outright lies, so there is probably some merit in it.

‘Why did you choose such an esoteric area of study?’ That’s … an interesting way to ask. Sure, there is a very small group who has this specialized knowledge, but it feels a little like deflection.

The rest of the conversation doesn’t give much for me to analyze.

Conclusion

TL;DR: There should have been banter. Or Rift Mage should have been a personalized, individual specialization.

Pull of the Abyss is the funkiest skill in the entire game, from a meta-perspective, because tearing a hole into the Veil is the opposite of what the Inquisitor is trying to do.

There are also many more questions than answer to take away from this regarding the Veil and the Fade and how Solas manages not to blow his cover, but I believe there are theories about at least the two former points out there.

I thank you very much for bearing with me for this long!

[purpleyellow]

Just dance

NCT 22nd member / Dream 8th member

Bee’s Masterlist

“She goes back to her first love”

a/n: Don’t be shy and interact a little, ask box is always open. Any kind of feedback will be very appreciated💛 Requests are open!

Dropping her body on the ground, Bee took a deep breath as someone called the end of the day, some of the boys moving around her to grab water bottles and get their stuff ready for them to leave.

Quickly raising her upper body off the floor, the girl looked around for their dance teacher, checking to see if he had left the room already.

“Yun-hee, you wanted to show me something right?” He asked without taking his eyes off of his phone, slightly making her creeped out and wondering if he had a sixth sense. Humming in agreement, Bee got up and ran towards her bag.

“Oh, you’re showing us something?” Jisung asked closing his bottle and sitting in front of the big mirror, getting followed by Chenle and Jaemin who did the same.

“No, you can leave,” She said unblocking her phone and getting weird looks from the members. Walking to the sound station, the girl pouted at them still in the same spots “What are you doing?”

“What are you doing?” Renjun asked back judging her with his eyes “Why didn’t you told us you were doing a solo project”

“Because I’m not” Bee giggled at his face “It’s just a dumb thing I choreographed last night and I wanted to show it to a professional”

“Excuse us, we are professionals” Haechan butted in making her roll her eyes.

“I know, now please leave. I’ll share it with you once I make sure it doesn’t look like I’m a flopping fish” 

“Okay, good luck” Jeno gave her a thumbs up and dragged Chenle off the ground, trying to leave as soon as possible without causing more 

“No, no, I want to see it” The boy whined while getting up, Jisung following him and Jaemin following Jisung, proving to the girl how much of a genius Jeno could be at times.

“Guys, I really want to eat dinner right now” The instructor spoke directly to the remaining members “If you could be kind and just let her be comfortable”

“Okay, okay” They rolled their eyes while leaving the room as well.

Pressing play on the edited version of the song, Bee moved to the middle of the room and counted until the moment she had begun choreographing. 

She had messed around and freestyled many many times before, but it was never something she thought was worth memorizing or even putting much effort into. Until the past days, when she arrived at home and listened to random songs by herself, inevitably getting the feeling of wanting to dance just a little more aware of what she was doing.

Seeing the moves she had worked on in a mirrored wall gave her a complete look at what she had only seen on the small one in her room, and the sound system managed to make the music seem more explosive than her earbuds could. The whole environment allowed her to make larger moves and be more expressive than she had been in her bedroom.

“That’s all” She clapped awkwardly when the end of the set came “I didn’t come up with something for the rest of the music, but I’m open for suggestion”

“It’s fine. When choreographing most people only do it for the whole song if they have to” He nodded walking closer to where she stood “And your piece looked good, can you do it again with only the count?”

Standing behind her to get a better view from the mirror, the teacher didn’t press play on the music, instead, doing an eight-count while pointing out small angles that needed to be adjusted here and there without actually changing what she had done. 

Once they had run over it twice, he walked back to the system and started the song again, this time Bee performed it in a more polished way, getting a satisfied smile from him. He noticed how the piece wasn’t extremely hard but at the same time had a pretty good amount of details that made it very intricate and demanded attention when learning it.

“You know, when you said you had something to show me, I thought it would be a contemporary piece” He nodded while turning off the computer “But seeing it now, you made something that fit you very well”

“Ah thank you” The girl smiled relieved and went to pick up her things, “I think I’ve been losing my contemporary background actually”

“That’s not true and I don’t think that’s possible either” He laughed at her “I can still see your training, but you have improved in looking more natural with hip hop based stuff as well. It helps that you’re still young”

“I guess I’ll try to stay on the contemporary hip hop lane then” She giggled, tossing her bag over her shoulder.

“Let me give you a tip actually. Don’t shy away from experimenting, if you listen to a song and you want to dance to it, do it regardless of the genre” The teacher said walking alongside her out of the room “But congratulations for your first piece, it definitely looks like something you would have done”

“Thank you so much,” Bee bowed to him and got surprised by a sudden question.

“So, what do you want to do with the choreography now?” He asked locking the door, suppressing a laugh at her confused face “Do you want to make a concept video? A normal cover? Arrange it with your manager and I’ll see what else we can do about it”

“Uh, I wasn’t thinking about doing anything with it actually” She fidgeted with the straps of her bag, “I think if the managers like the idea of a cover video, I can try to make something better”

“Just do it if you want to, but at least record the dance as a memory for yourself” He patted her in the back as they walked along the hallway. “If you do feel like you want to post covers we can arrange it as well. Just go experimenting”

“Thank you again, I should be heading home, the boys probably want to kill me already for making them wait in the van” Bee smiled sweetly at him and they parted ways. 

She really liked the idea of making simpler videos to share with the fans, but like the teacher said, for now, she wanted to keep experimenting and fooling around without the weight of having to deeply think about every move.

(note: in case anyone cares, this was the video that I used as reference when thinking about the choreography mentioned)

[hesther-mcg]

blue dragons, part one + chapter eight

➥ pairing: eventual asami x oc 

➥ summary: the one where azula trains ursa, and gets the shock of a lifetime; or the one where a picky spirit makes himself known for the first time in ages  

➥ rating: angst i suppose

➥ warnings: mentions of past abuse 

➥ a/n: mnmxcnvxn this took forever to get out bc life is cray cray, haha srry folks but here we are!! this is quite an interesting chapter in my opinion, i really love the dynamic between ursa and azula and giving azula this opportunity means a lot. also this is an introduction to a certain blue serpentine spirit OoOoOoOoOo

also for clarification purposes, when ursa’s eyes glow, it looks like the avatar state but blue ya know

p1, chap seven  p1, chap eight  p1, chap nine  blue dragons m. list

Frustration itched at every nerve in Ursa’s body, and she let out a huff. She swiped at her bangs that fell in her face as she paced back to the bench on the far side of the training yard. Her glass of watermelon juice was almost empty, and an added weight fell on her already sagging shoulders. She downed the rest of it and returned it to its spot, perhaps a little harshly, and shook her head. 

A growl escaped her mouth and she screamed as she shot a large stream of fire at nothing in particular. Unbeknownst to her, Azula lurked in the shadows behind her. She had watched the Crown Princess -only thirteen years of age- train for a short while, her determination admirable and patience thinning. The older woman could see the mistakes that were made, minor in severity and easy to fix with a little guidance. 

It had taken a long while for her to acknowledge the likeness between her and her young niece; she hadn’t wanted to and had adamantly denied it. But one day things just clicked, and she realized that Ursa looking like her, and thinking like her, and being as powerful as her wasn’t as bad as she thought. 

Because her father was long gone.  

What had happened to Zuko would never, in a million years, happen again, and what had happened to Azula surely wouldn’t either. Her older brother had proved himself to be an amazing father, and Izumi never once lived a day thinking she hadn’t made him proud. He never spoke down to her for being a girl, he never got angry because she couldn’t make up for it with bending, and he never used her for his own personal gain. 

All of which were things Azula had been subjected to in her childhood, and had ultimately feared her niece would be as well, but was relieved to see otherwise. Their father, and his legacy, was long gone; and only when she accepted that fact could she truly accept her own growth and healing. And only when she accepted those could she accept that Ursa had all of her best qualities, and some of her not so best qualities, and if they were nurtured and guided correctly she could be like no one else. 

“My, my, Princess; have you been out here all day?” Azula inquired as she emerged from the shadows and took slow steps to the aforementioned Princess, hands clasped behind her back and head held high just like always. 

“Hey, Auntie Zula,” Ursa sighed as she bowed before rising again. “Almost; I’m going over some of the advanced moves I learned, and I’ve almost mastered them all but I can’t seem to get this last one.” She shook her head. “I’m doing exactly what my Master did, and it’s still not right. I know I’m better than this.” 

“You are,” the older woman responded without missing a beat. She paced in front of her young niece. “You are better than this, this is but a mere moment in your path to mastering the element. You’re incredibly skilled, Ursa, never forget that. Before too much longer you’ll surpass your Master and they will no longer be able to do you any good. I was going to step in after that, but I can see that now is as good a time as ever.” 

“Really?” One would have to be deaf to miss the eagerness laced in her question. 

“Of course,” Azula turned sharply in place. “I know exactly what mistakes you’re making; though, it’s not your fault. I hate to tell you this, Princess, but your Master is a doofus.” The younger girl giggled from behind her hand. “Are you a dragon?” 

The question caught Ursa off guard. “Huh?” 

“Are you a dragon?” She repeated slowly. The look in her eyes was familiar, she had seen it in her father’s, grandmother’s, and great grandfather’s eyes many times before. She’d seen it in the mirror only once or twice; it was a look of true seriousness, one you could only get when, you might not know what you’re doing, but, you know that whatever it is you can do it. She tried her best to mimic it in her own matching eyes. 

“Yes. I am a dragon.” 

“That’s what I thought.” Azula stated smugly. “Only dragons can teach dragons, Ursa, and since The Great Dragon of the West is no longer with us, I only see it fitting that I take over as your Master. After all,” she raised one hand in front of her, and blue fire floated in her palm. “We do have twin flames.”  

The pair shared a smile before Azula extinguished the flame and returned her hand to its rightful place, clasped in the other behind her back. Ursa placed one hand, fingers straight and palm pointed to the side, above the other, which was closed in a fist. She bowed deeply, “thank you for teaching me, Sifu Azula.” She rose back up and turned away from her Master. She faced straight ahead, ready for anything. “What should I do first?” 

Lady Azula smiled to herself. “Your punches and kicks were good, but everything has room for improvement. You’re not putting enough power into your jump, and then not putting enough power in the flames. Let’s break it down. Take your stance.” 

Ursa positioned herself in the stance she normally chose. Her grandfather had shown it to her, and she figured out that it was the one that worked easiest with her dynamic. Her left foot forward, right foot behind her. Knees slightly bent. Arms out before her, elbows slightly bent as well. Palms open, fingers relaxed. Ready to strike. 

“Remember, firebending comes from the breath. Focus on the fire inside of you, and breathe in deeply; allow the air to reach the flames. Let your chi flow freely, the reason our fire burns blue is because it is pure. Your river is unblocked, your chi’s are synced and your power flows through you. Pure, clean, untethered fire. You have the power, be the thing that controls it.” 

Deep breaths. Unlocked chi’s. Flowing river. The Princesses eyes had long since closed, and she envisioned all the things her aunt spoke about. 

“Reposition,” Azula coaxed quieter, seeing the concentration on Ursa’s face. 

The girl’s hands formed fists, clenched tightly, and her left arm straightened itself out. Her right fist drew back and rested right beside her eyes. 

“Now, punch.” 

It was like time moved in slow motion Her eyes snapped open before narrowing into a squint. Her brows drew together and her face scrunched up. She lunged her right fist forward, stepping into the punch with her right foot; bringing as much power as she could for the opening attack. Her fists lit ablaze, encircled with blue, and she punched a rather large fireball straight ahead. Her grunts were barely audible over the loud swoosh of the flames. 

Ursa dealt one strike after the other, slowly making her way forward, sometimes ducking to avoid a blow from an imaginary opponent. “Kick,” Azula commanded loudly. 

One last punch before she kicked her right leg in a half circle, flames following closely.  They lingered in the air and Ursa spun around and shielded herself from view with more blue fire. “Now jump!” 

A moment passed, a moment where the older woman’s breath caught in her lungs. Then, before any particular emotion could truly settle in her bones, Ursa leapt out from the wall of blue flames, a look of ferocity painting her features. She landed on her feet and sprung forward not a moment later; she took one step, two steps, three...

And on her final step she jumped high in the air, and Azula’s voice cut through the noise, “Roar!” 

Flames from her feet propelled her upwards, a gust of blue, and the same shot out of her hands. Her face scrunched up as her cry echoed around the training yard, a stream of fire shooting out of her open mouth. Everything was blue, all Azula could see was blue. And all she could feel was heat. 

But what really shocked her, what really made her brows scrunch together and her jaw drop, was the Princesses eyes, once a piercing golden brown, were now completely blue. The fire around her swirled and moved until it started to take form. The form of a dragon.

Of course. Of course. It made sense, everything about her fit the role. 

“The Spirit of the Dragon…” She whispered in awe. It was a phenomenon that she never thought she would be alive to witness, and she would never tell a soul about the tears that filled her eyes as she watched her great niece display her sheer power. 

When the roar died down, and Ursa’s flames shrunk, and she dropped to the ground, her eyes fell shut and her knees gave out. She caught herself with her hands and shook her head. With a couple groans, and a few deep breaths she was back on her feet. 

“Holy shit.” A voice broke the silence. Azula turned around only to see her older brother; Zuko’s mouth hung open and his arms were limp at his side. 

“That-” the Princess cut herself off to catch her breath. “That wasn’t supposed to happen,” she chuckled lowly. Her eyes flickered from her great aunt and great grandfather. She didn’t know how to feel about what had just occurred. On one hand, she knew that her family would never think any different of her for anything, they had always told her that nothing could ever make them not love her; but on the other, insecurity and fear seemed like the obvious answer. 

What if they thought she was too powerful? What if they feared she would be the demise of the Fire Nation? She didn’t even know what took over her, what if it was something evil? What if, what if, what if- 

“Ursa,” Azula broke her train of thought. She snapped back to reality, heart in her stomach, and looked at the older woman. “Do you know what just happened?” Dread pricked at every nerve in her body and she shook her head. Her fingers began to tremble and she clenched her hands into fists to hide it. 

“That was the Spirit of the Dragon, my dear. A powerful spirit of the very first dragon; it has possessed only few people throughout history, not nearly as much as the Avatar, but hasn’t made itself known in centuries. My, Ursa,” Zuko marveled. “It chose you, how incredible.” 

“I’m not-I’m not in trouble?” She stuttered. 

“Of course not,” Azula shook her head and made her way to the girl, hands reaching out. They rested on her shoulders and she leaned down so their eyes met. “I know what you’re thinking, and you don’t have to worry. What happened to me will never happen to you, I promise you that. Do you know what the Spirit of the Dragon means exactly?” The girl shook her head before her aunt continued. 

“The Spirit of the Dragon, like Zuzu explained before, is a very powerful spirit. It has joined with numerous people over the course of time, merging with them and bestowing knowledge and strength upon them like no other. It can’t just be anybody, however,” she paused and looked over at the bench. She motioned to it with her hand and the three of them traveled to it together, and they made sure that Ursa sat in between them. “The kind of people that the Dragon Spirit chooses are powerful, people who are destined to do great things in this world. The power to stand up to people, for people, and with people is incredible. It might sound simple, but most people can’t say they passed the test. You did.” 

“We’ve known since the day you were born that you held incredible powers and an even more important destiny,” the older man took over. “But we never could have imagined this for you.” He chuckled lightly and shook his head. 

Azula took that as her cue to continue. “But we’ve never, ever, feared that you would do something wrong, or that you would be too powerful for your own good. And no matter what happens, to you or to us, and no matter what you have to go through, we’ll always be with you.” 

Ursa nodded her head and wiped her cheeks of any tears. Her eyes were red and swollen, but her hands no longer trembled and her shoulders only slightly shook as she calmed down. 

“Now,” Lady Azula stated, her tone back to the normal smooth and sharp drawl. “Are you a dragon?” 

“Yes.” Ursa looked at her and tried with everything she had to convey just how much she meant it. 

“Who are you?” The question cut through the air sharply, and a moment later the younger girl's eyes changed colors again, both glowing a bright blue. 

“I am Crown Princess Ursa of the Fire Nation, Heir to the Throne; I am the Dragon Princess and I have the power of the first dragon’s spirit!” 

➥ tag list: @talas-starlight  @ewanssdjarins  @appa-gaangnam-style  @strawberisapphic  @avatarsnips​  @graciefullygracie​

[boymeetsparadise]

masterlist

contains and mentions: female reader x jung hoseok/ female reader x kim taehyung.

>language, break ups, angst, anxiety, brief mention of a loved one’s passing, alcohol, children. exes to strangers au, (please let me know if i missed anything)

Word count: 2k

an: i had the sad music playing, its one of those moments.. this came to mind and hopefully you all enjoy! angsty hobi? tragic but sign me up! (◠‿◠)

listened to while writting: 2 soon - keshi

A weary sigh left your lips as you toed off your shoes, a soft nudge to close off the door as your hair fell down your back from having been up all day. A late night at work and you finally had the weekend to look forward to, it dawned that your energy wasn’t the same as before. You worked from home most of the time unless it was a big project or a mistake had been made, then you’d spend hours away from home. Rare but dreaded. 

The small apartment was quiet as the soft patting of your tired feet on the wooden floors brought back life. Bag set on the dining table, you looked over into the kitchen as the under cabinet stove hood glowed into the dark home, leftovers waiting. You opted to eat it at room temperature, trying to keep the silence aside from the soft drags of cutlery.  Washing dishes could wait until the morning as you made sure the windows were properly locked around your home. 

The soft thuds of clothes hit the floor before you let out another sigh. Arms around yourself, massaging your sore neck before changing and letting the soft, cool material of your pajamas welcome you even further. Doors and wooden floor panels softly creaked before you slid into bed, another sigh as you stared at the ceiling, dinner finally settling. You reached over to your phone on the nightstand, mindlessly scrolling through your social media. Looks like a high school acquaintance got married, double-tap, and type out a quick congratulations with excessive emojis. Your cousin posted a selfie and she looks breathtaking, double-tap, and comment that you miss her. You continued for a few more posts, catching up on the people around you. A tired yawn and you were giving in to sleep. A small stretch and click of the phone, you turned over, a small smile on your lips. 

Only a couple minutes in before your eyes shot right open. Your phone was on low volume but the vibrations had it motoring across the small table. Probably a late-night telemarketer as you couldn’t quite recognize the phone number. A spam risk? You pressed the accept button, whispers ready. 

“Hello?” There was a small gasp.

“[Y/n]” and then a small sigh of relief.

You sat up in bed immediately, shock and confusion written all over your face.

“Hoseok?” You whispered, questioning whether or not it was really the voice. 

“Yes!” He sighed, “It’s me..” He bit his bottom lip as his index finger mindlessly circles the finish of the glass bottle. To him, it felt so good to hear your voice again and he thanked his angels above for remembering your number. 

You sat up in bed, wide awake with a sudden pang in your heart. Silence followed as you tried to find the words to say. There wasn’t any- so serious yet awkward as it used to be so easy to talk to one another.

“Long time huh?” Hoseok let out a nervous chuckle as he adjusted his phone. “How have you been?”

“I’ve been..” You paused, and quickly pulled away to glance at the time, what was going on? “It’s two a.m, why?” 

“It’s late I know. But I just had to call. I had to just hear your voice again.” He pleaded. You rolled your eyes, he wouldn’t know that though. 

“But why?”

“Can’t I just call to catch up?” He played casually.

“No.” You snapped at his attempt as your mind began to wander at his intentions. 

“I couldn’t sleep. I thought I should call you.” He confessed.

“It’s been-”

“I know how long it’s been.” He cut you off. “But you were always the best remedy.” 

You sighed, his words sending another chill down your spine.

“I tried to hard to find your number, I thought you would’ve changed it.” Silence. “Relieved that I’m not blocked.” He tried to chuckle but failed awkwardly. You don’t tell him that you just unblocked his number about a year ago because the missing contact name confused you. 

“Let’s just talk.” He licked his lips, adjusting in his seat. “How are you? How’s your dad?” He tried, hands shaky. 

“He passed last November.” You deadpanned.

“Oh…” Hoseok felt a wave of guilt. “I’m sorry.”

“I am too.” You’ve missed a lot Jung Hoseok.

Another moment of silence followed. 

“...Cut to the chase Hoseok” You ran your free hand through your hair again, looking over your shoulder, “Why’d you call?”

“I think you know why [Y/n]..”

“ I don’t know anymore.” You paused. “You don’t call someone up at two am after you haven’t been able to do so for over three years.” 

“I’ve missed you. And I’ve realized how much of an idiot I am.” He played with the bottle some more.

“You had three years Hoseok.” You stared off into the distance of your dimly lit room, the moon shining in through a small crack in the curtains. 

“And I regret not calling sooner.” He let his head fall, tears burning his eyes.

“Have you been drinking Hoseok?” 

“Would that matter?” He cocked a brow.

“Considering you could never be honest with me when sober, yes.” For a moment you felt like you had gone back in time, a younger you picking up the phone because she had yet another fight with her boyfriend and he called to apologize like always. At three am as his lips slurred the truths he wished he would say while sober, but you knew that already.

You’d believe every word and then he would stumble to your place, pebbles at your window before you let him in, embracing each other as you sat on your roof, looking at the sky.

“I’ve changed.” He rubbed his eyes, drunk sincerity in every word he spoke. “So much.” He sighed. “And I’ll never be sorry enough on that it took me so long to do so.”

“It shouldn’t have taken years.” You shook your head. “I’m sorry but I don’t see the point in tonight’s-”

“Can I come see you?” His voice was shaky. “Just this once, please? I have so much I want to say.” Another desperate sigh, “And I want to do this face to face.”

“Hobi-” You shuttered from letting his old nickname slip.

“You still stay in the same place right? I’ll be there in 15.” He downed a prepared shot, eyes wandering for his jacket- ready to head out. You took a deep breath, a soft cry could be heard across the hall.

“Hoseok stop.” You swung your legs off the edge of the bed, the anxiety making you fidget. 

“Let me stay the night. I’ll leave in the morning, I swear.”  He tried to convince you and himself, his mind blocking out sounds that weren’t you. “Just let me be in the same space as you. Please?”

“You had time Hoseok.” Pity in your tone, you continued, “You won’t remember this in the morning.” Too distracted to feel the movement on the other side.

“I can come by in the morning if I can’t right now... How does nine am sound?” He bit the inside of his cheek, avoiding your pleads. “Would that be fine?’

“Listen-” 

 “I can pick up your favorite muffins and we can talk over some coffee-” Hoseok tried.

“Hoseok.” You repeated, tears ready to slip at any moment as he heard the crack in your voice, his heart breaking with it. 

“I haven’t stopped thinking about you. Trust me I tried so hard to forget. To move on. But I couldn’t. I can’t.” Another heavy sigh. 

“Stop it.”

“Just a bit of time, please. I know it isn’t fair of me to ask this of you. I’ll always be that selfish but I can’t help it. I have to ask for more. I’m sorry.”

“You missed so much. I’ve-”

“Please. At least let me see you for the last time.”

“Three years.” You reminded him, it hurt so bad. 

“I know.”

Another silence. Memories of you two flashed in your mind. Moments of joy and love now hurt so much, pushed away to the depths of your mind, buried underneath new ones.

“I have to go.” 

“Please don’t hang up.” His voice broke.

“I have to. Please don’t call again.”

“I’ll call every day. I’m serious.” He spoke, his free hand rubbing at his burning eyes. “I want another try at us. I’m tired of the games I played. I’ve changed and I’ll prove that [Y/n].”

“Don’t do this.”

“Don’t you love me anymore?” Hoseok’s vision went blurry. “It doesn’t matter how long it’s been, true love will always come back to one another.” He tried to reason as the grip on his phone tightened.

“I don’t love you anymore.” You jumped right in, cutting him off from rambling any further, teeth clenched. “Don’t start spewing your bullshit when you’re the one who walked out on me Hoseok. We could’ve had it all but you fucked up. I got tired of waiting and hoping. Obviously this isn’t true love if it took you this long to realize. I found my happiness Hoseok.” 

You were bitter. Fed up. You sat, heavy breathing, the man who once gave you butterflies was now asking for pity and forgiveness as if that wasn’t a constant in your time together.

“You don’t mean that.” Hoseok pleaded. “Please.”

“I do and you’re drunk Hoseok. Bye.”

“[Y/n]-” 

“You’ll find someone one day, and you’ll thank me for this.” Your eyes fluttered shut as you pulled the phone away. 

Hoseok’s lip started to quiver, his calls were always enough and now you were here ready to hang it up for good. 

“Baby?” 

Hoseok raised his brows, eyes wide with confusion. Was there someone with you? Should he hang up? 

“Sorry love, I tried my best to put them back down to bed but I think someone misses their mommy.” Your lover pouted as he made his way over to you. He avoided mentioning he’s been awake since he heard you come home, the muffles of the other line peaking his interest.

Hoseok let his tears fall like an overflowing sink. He recognized that voice. The voice of someone he once considered an old friend, now calling you baby. Did you have a child?

“It’s fine.” You took your head with a slight grin, taking the infant in your arms as he sat down next to you. The smalls cries halted as they recognized your motherly scent. “Why hello little one.” You coo’ed, finger softly stroking the tiny plump cheek.

“Did you miss me?” Your face lit up with joy as the tiny infant stared back at you, mouth round as they let out soft coos.

“Wow that’s so interesting, tell me more!’ You smiled as Taehyung sat right next to you stretching to see the interaction between you and his child, heart bursting.

Hoseok listened to the entire conversation, a pain in his chest. Your voice full of love and excitement. You meant what you said. You had found your happiness. 

Taehyung looked over to your phone, forgotten on the bed, the screen lighting up momentarily- Hoseok hung up. He sighed, relief washing over him. Hopefully- he heard everything. “I’m so proud of you.” He softly spoke against your temple, inhaling your perfume and leaving a small kiss. 

“For what?” You knitted your brows before looking back at the child in your arms.

“Everything you do.” He smiled, not ready to admit to his eavesdropping. “You amaze me every day. You’re so strong and such an excellent friend, lover, mother, human being. I love you and our little family.” His eyes now teary as he looked down at your ring finger- the diamond still shining even in the dark. “I just think I should remind you any chance I get.” He shyly smiled before looking away. 

Heat spread across your cheeks as you stared at him for a good moment, taking in his appearance. His honey toned skin looked absolutely mesmerizing in the moonlight as his dark waves bounced with every movement. His hand came up to stoke your child’s hair before they enveloped his thumb in their small hand. The small interaction had you bursting at the seams. 

“I love you too.” You smiled before giving him a soft kiss, a smile on your face  now focused on the child before you. A very heavy sigh you didn’t even know you were holding escaped, happiness was this very moment.

“She...” [name] stared off into space, struggling for word, bringing the bottle to his lips. “How could he do this? ” He threw his head back, taking a swig. His best friend and the love of his life. The word ‘mommy’ rang through his head. 

She was right, a lot can happen in three years and he had just realized how long that time really was. He bit down on his lip, drawing blood. He hated himself completely as the bottle rested on his lips, another swig as it burned the fresh punctures. 

Silence filled the messy room, bottles and cigarette buds littered the floor as he looked through his photo gallery, fresh tears landing on an old photo he took of you. You both changed and this time the roads didn't cross. His phone calls always set everything right. He promised himself to call again one day. 

 “I may hate this now but I hope I find what you have [y/n]. Then maybe I’ll thank you.”

[phoenotopia]

2020 August Update

For once, development has moved on time (sorta). I am happy to announce that the "Reveal and Launch" trailer for Phoenotopia Awakening will drop this morning at 9AM. And the game itself is set to launch for Nintendo Switch on August 20th.

You may recognize that August 20th is in fact the 6th year anniversary of the Flash game. I wasn't particularly aiming for this date - I actually wanted August 14th. It's like a minefield - even just one week offset forward or backward could put you into a crowded release slot. And you don't know how everyone's moving because they're also probably considering the same things. At some point you're locked in and you can't change course. In the end, I added 1 week to the time I wanted initially as an error buffer in case some things came up - which they did! So August 20 ended up being about just right for us and a neat coincidence to boot.

First half of July

The first half of July, I threw myself well into the PC port. The controls still need to be figured out, but we did make a lot of progress. I found out about a 3rd party library called "Rewired" which is all about supporting a multitude of different controllers, disconnects, reconnects, and so forth. It doesn't take us all the way there, but it did remove a lot of the headache involved.

There's still a lot of design involved concerning controller rebinding. For instance, how much of the controls do you expose and allow to be remapped? Technically, you could allow so much freedom that you can break the controls. One solution for that is to lock a portion of the keyboard to be unmappable and so you're never without controls that can remap a menu.

(my solution was to have a lock screen that confirms you have the necessary inputs to at least return to the rebind menu and fix the controls should they ever be set in so bad a state)

There are also some things that a joypad can do that a keyboard can't, and vice versa. For instance, the control stick allows 360 degrees of movement and detects sensitivity. How much you push the control stick will determine whether Gail walks or jogs. However, the buttons on the keyboard do not have sensitivity - they're either all ON or all OFF. Thus, there's no way to "walk" if using a keyboard. I could add a separate "hold to walk" button to the keyboard but that introduces an incongruence between the joypad and the keyboard.

(Rewired's interface for mapping keyboard and joypads. If a "hold to walk" action existed, it would only make sense for the keyboard column, but not the joypad column. Finding that perfect balance between joystick and keyboard will be a challenge.)

Another snag we've hit are button names. If using a Nintendo, Sony, or Microsoft controller, the Right Trigger is either going to be named ZR, R2, or RT. Rewired can be agnostic about joypads, which is great because it reduces the workload on my end, but the caveat is that buttons like this will simply be called "Right Trigger". (See that first image again). Not really elegant...

I can probably fix this after I've had more time to investigate. However, around this time I had to pause PC development, because the Switch version became unblocked and now required my full attention.

Second half of July

The 2nd half of July proved quite busy. As noted in my previous blog post, I thought the Switch version was on track and off my hands. Turns out there were a few more hurdles to clear, and the ball came back into my court, and it moved back and forth a few times. Luckily, the hurdles are really cleared now and we're set to release (August 20!). The specifics of this process are under NDA, so I won't go into details.

We also went around updating a bunch of the game's social media sites - facebook, twitter, youtube. The second half of July was also when we started acting in a PR capacity - we're combing websites and youtube channels and looking for people who look like they might want to cover Phoenotopia. This was fun! I used to read IGN daily over a decade ago (back when Matt and Fran ran the IGN Nintendo channel). Then college happened followed by early work life, and I wasn't able to follow videogames as much anymore. I didn't even have access to a TV for a few years. And I never found a new landing page after that, so combing for websites and youtube channels was a lot of fun. It was interesting to see how the landscape has changed, and the new depth and variety that exists.

We're set to send out a BUNCH of emails tomorrow. Will they catch? No idea... I think if I had 20 reviews on launch day on OpenCritic, I'd consider that a success. We'll see!

Fan Art 

This past month, we see a lot of fan artists cross Phoenotopia with other universes. Luckily, all universes I'm familiar with. I'm impressed by the creativity on display!

First, what if Gail appeared as an enemy in Undertale? Glittering_Touch_904 depicts the scene. Gale, like Sans, has only one eye shining meaning she's about to dish out some serious pain. Nice! Definitely choose the Mercy option.

R_Contagio answers the question of what would happen if Phoenotopia was depicted in the style of Limbo? And the answer is very pretty! I'm impressed by how everything is done with one color. Using a band of white to depict water, the creepy eyes on every creature, the patience in drawing each leaf... very impressive! I'd play this game!

UnrealWorld_32 depicts a scene that asks what it would look like if Gale was still back in Panselo when the invasion happens :D I'm impressed by the use of colors - they look like they could come from the game itself! I think it wouldn't be a fair fight. For the invader.

A rare scene, Didi depicts Gail, hammer at the ready, approaching a dreaded Phoenix Pod. We get lots of depictions of 66, but rarely of the pod itself! In the Flash game, we skirt around how the pod opens by having it opened off-screen, so it's nice to see the pod up close. The mystery remains... how does it open?

Another crossover of Phoenotopia and the Shrek universe - this "Shrale" is drawn by Firanka. I'm impressed by the use of colors - dominant use of red garb contrasts well with her green skin. She kinda looks like a grumpy Namekian. Hah hah. What is she annoyed at? 

Maybe this little running Gail underfoot (also drawn by Firanka)

Coming Up

We'll continue acting in a PR capacity leading up to the game's release. When the game finally does launch on Switch, I suspect I'll become swamped handling bug reports. When the flash game launched, I remember being swamped for 3 weeks straight! Day in, day out, fixing bugs. I suspect it'll be the same with Phoenotopia: Awakening, but to a heightened degree. 

Regardless, we'll post an update on the state of ourselves at the end of September. Even if it's only a small one. Until then!

[chocoluckchipz]

The Other You - 8

Read it on A03, FF.net, WattPad

< Previous

Before he was cursed with the sinking ship of his father’s company, Adrien loved to sleep in on the weekends. Now, he was lucky to get even half of what he’d usually slept, considering that in addition to his work at Gabriel, it was also the end of the spring semester at his school and the workload was overwhelming. Just a little longer, though, and he’d be free to focus on his ‘help Marinette and finally atone for your sins’ mission full-time. Adrien could hardly wait, which was a little weird considering how much stuff he’d have to learn and do to make that happen.

“What are you grinning about?” Plagg yawned, floating out of his bed-bucket.

Adrien stretched. “Nothing in particular. Just that things are finally starting to look brighter.”

“Lying to your girlfriend to get food out of her is bright?” Plagg scoffed, flying away to the kitchen.

“I haven’t told a single lie, and she isn’t my girlfriend.”

“You kissed her, and you liked it.”

“Can you let it go, Plagg?  We’ve talked about this. It wasn’t—”

“Man, she’s going to hate you even more when she finds out who exactly was kissing her.”

Adrien glared at the pesky creature. “That’s why we aren’t telling her, Plagg.”

“She’ll find out eventually,” the kwami shrugged, stuffing his mouth with his morning dose of Camembert. ���Better get ready for it instead of denying the obvious.”

With a growl, Adrien flopped back into his sheets. Pushing Plagg’s words aside, he closed his eyes, trying to focus on his schedule for today. First work, then lunch with Nino, and then… more work. He couldn’t afford to have his weekends off anymore.

“Oh, I know,” Plagg mumbled, finishing his wheel of cheese. “Your high school crush on Princess is coming back. That’s why you’re making dumb decisions—"

“I did not have a crush on Marinette,” Adrien said, sitting up. “I’ve always loved Ladybug.”

“Sure,” Plagg smirked. “Keep telling yourself that.”

“That’s the truth.”

“That’s bullshit, and you know it,” Plagg countered, his arms on his hips. “You could afford all the croissants in the world, yet you kept abusing your powers and going to her balcony for treats.”

“That’s because her pastries were amazing, and Marinette was a great company. But that doesn’t mean I had a crush on her.”

“Sure. That’s why you tried to spend as much time as possible with her. And not as Chat only, but as Adrien as well. Ugh! All those blushes and cutesy stuff.” Plagg shivered. “Disgusting.”

“It wasn’t like that, Plagg. We were just friends.”

“And don’t get me started on this whole ‘helping her’ business,” the kwami continued to grumble. “I told you it was insane even then, didn’t I? But no! You had to risk everything for her. Look where it got you. And how did she thank you? She took your heart and trampled it under her feet.”

Adrien fell silent.

“That’s why you didn’t try hard enough to reach out after they cut you off. It wasn’t only your pride that got bruised. Your heart got broken as well.”

“You can think whatever you want,” Adrien mumbled quietly, getting out of bed. “But having a close friend doesn’t mean I have a crush on her. My heart has always belonged to Ladybug.”

Plagg groaned in exasperation and flew off. Adrien went about his morning routine, pushing aside Plagg’s ridiculous claims and letting his thoughts race back to Nino. The prospect of meeting with his former best friend left him confused at best. Thrilled? Not exactly. More like nervous? Anxious? But nevertheless, kind of glad because the rejection and the refusal to let him at least explain himself still stung. Adrien spent years being bitter and resentful about that and had a lot to say. And today he was going to say everything because he didn’t really care about the way this meeting would go. He wasn’t looking to renew the friendship. An explanation, closure and the strength to move on: that was all Adrien wanted.

The day went by tortuously slowly. Hiring a new assistant for Marinette was Adrien’s top priority, but it was proving to be rather difficult. She needed someone highly experienced at this point and not a lot of qualified people wanted to work with a seemingly doomed company Gabriel had become. Scratch “a lot”. “None” would fit better. And to change that would require a ton of work, the size of Adrien was only now starting to realize. He did his best, but even he had his limits and needed breaks to stay sane. That was why, as soon as the clock struck a quarter to noon, Adrien zoomed out of his office and almost sprinted to a nearby café. Five minutes early, he wasn’t surprised to see Nino already there. His former best friend was always one to be on time.

Adrien halted his steps. Maybe this wasn’t a good idea. He should have refused. Surely, he can help Marinette without Nino. No need to rip the old wounds open and let them bleed unnecessarily.

Before he could change his mind though, Nino stood up, looking his way. Awkwardly, the pair watched each other for a few moments from a distance until Nino motioned Adrien to sit at his table.

“Do you want small talk, or we could just—”

“Let’s skip it,” Adrien shrugged, settling in the chair.

“Straight to the issue?”

“Why not?”

“I’m all for it.”

“Me too.”

“Would you like to order?” a waiter interrupted.

Both men nodded in unison and took their time placing orders. After the waiter left, no one rushed to break the silence.

“So,” Nino finally gave in. “If we aren’t holding back and telling as it is… I still think you acted like a jerk, but I do owe you an apology because your intuition was right. Working with your father did ruin Marinette’s life. And that…” Nino inhaled deeply, “might actually be an understatement.”

Adrien sighed. “I saw tragedies happen too many times to do nothing. People had nervous breakdowns over a stupid deadline that was set a few days earlier than the actual one anyway. Or over an outfit that was added to the collection at the last minute and the fabric had to be personally flown in from Tibet. Many were doing the work of two or three on a tight schedule because their assistants couldn’t take it anymore and quit. So, just thinking that one of my closest friends could end up in that place… I couldn’t let that happen to her.” Adrien paused, his eyes focusing on the napkin he fidgeted with. “I only tried to protect her from that hell. Nothing else.”

“I can see now why you wanted her away from Gabriel, but you could’ve gone about it a different way, one that didn’t involve sneaking behind her back.”

Adrien nodded. “That’s on me. I should’ve done it differently. But you should've let me explain instead of cutting me off without warning.”

“What are you talking about?” Nino quirked an eyebrow. “You were the one who didn't want anything to do with us.”

“If by me trying to reach you for weeks, begging to let me explain and apologize is what you consider—”

“Let me stop you right there,” Nino interrupted, raising his hand. “What weeks are we talking about here? You sent us a single message in the chatroom that same day before quitting it, and in it, you spelled quite clearly that you had neither desire nor time for such ‘crappy friends’ as us anymore because apparently we neither did nor could understand and support you. Why do you think I never contacted you in all those years? Yes, I was angry with you, but all I needed was time to chill down and think. I would’ve reached out for that explanation eventually. You were my best bud, Adrien. I would’ve never just cut you off like I did unless you wanted that. Unless you asked me to do that, ‘lest I accidentally stumble upon an unwelcome reminder’ if I didn’t block you on all platforms.”

Adrien stared at Nino in confusion. “What are you talking about? I never sent any of you anything like that. I never quit the chatroom. You kicked me out. The three of you were my best friends, and you know how few of those I had. Why on Earth would I ask you to cut me off?”

“Your food, gentlemen.” The waiter placed plates before the men, giving Nino time to reach for his cell phone, open it on a particular screen and pass it to Adrien.

“Take a read for yourself. I’m sure you remember this. No one but the four of us had access to this chatroom, and the message is clearly sent from your account, following the notification that you left the chat.”

Adrien froze, his eyebrows slowly knitting into a frown as he read the words on the screen. Once done, he blankly stared at the device for a few moments before leaning back into his seat. “I didn’t write this. I didn't leave on my own. There has to have been a mistake.”

“Like what? Someone hacked you?”

“I can’t really say,” Adrien frowned. “From my end, I was just kicked out of the chat and blocked everywhere that same evening. Though, I hadn't discovered it until a bit later since I thought giving you time to calm down was a good idea.”

“So you knew we blocked you and still claim you were trying to reach out?”

“I hoped that at least one of you would unblock me eventually and I’d be able to explain.”

Nino huffed. “Why didn't you just seek us out in person?”

“I was busy moving out and working, and Chloe said if you didn't want to talk to me online, you wouldn't want to see me in person.”

Nino raised an eyebrow. “Chloe?”

Adrien shrugged, looking away. “No one else was around to give me advice, and it’s not like she sounded unreasonable.”

They fell in silence for a moment. Nino picked up his fork and started to eat, Adrien following his suit. A few minutes later, Nino asked, “Ever left your phone around her unattended?”

His thoughts rushing back to the past, Adrien nodded. “Never had a reason not to trust her that much.”

“Does she, by any chance, know your password?”

Adrien shrugged. “I never personally gave it to her, but it's not like I hid it either.”

Nino waited until he finished chewing his next bite to comment. “We both know Chloe is capable of sending those messages and quitting the chat on your behalf. She never liked us being friends, and it was awfully out of character of you.”

“That’s a valid possibility.”

Nino focused on his meal for a few more moments before asking, “ You swear you didn’t send those?”

Adrien leaned backwards in his seat. “On my mother’s name.”

Sighing heavily, Nino closed his eyes. “This is so messed up. This whole situation is just… so messed up. And what do we do now?”

"I don’t know," Adrien murmured, looking to the side.

“I guess I owe you another apology.” Nino cleared his throat. “I won’t apologize for getting angry at you. For the way you went about the whole Marinette thing, you deserved it. However, I am sorry for believing you could have sent that message and cutting you off without giving you a chance to defend yourself. I should’ve known you better than that.”

“Fair enough,” Adrien replied. “I do admit I could’ve used a better way to protect Marinette, and I guess I should’ve tried harder to reach out too, instead of assuming you abandoned me at the first opportunity. I’m sorry as well.”

“I appreciate it.” Nino shifted in his chair, picking up his coffee mug. “So, what next?”

Adrien rubbed the back of his neck, leaning back in his seat. “I don’t know? Maybe, let’s start with why you contacted me all of the sudden after all those years? I assume you need info on Marinette?”

“I did, but it doesn’t matter anymore.” Nino shrugged. “Alya’s finally gotten through to her, and they’re having lunch as we speak.”

“So technically we didn’t have to meet?”

“Technically no. But since you already agreed to come, I wanted…” he paused to muse for a second before giving Adrien a shy smile. “Actually, I'm not sure what I wanted, but I was curious to see you again.”

“I hope your curiosity was satisfied?”

“My curiosity is wondering why you look so exhausted on Saturday afternoon?”

“Got a little more than I can handle on my plate at the moment.”

Nino hesitated but still asked, “Need some help?”

“I wish you could help me,” Adrien chuckled. “Thank you, but unless you know how to run a fashion empire, I don't think that's a viable option.”

“I am a quick learner. Just tell me what you need me to do.”

Adrien swallowed. He hadn't been looking for a renewal of their friendship when he was coming here, but… Sitting here, talking to Nino again after all these years, seeing how little he had changed, how caring and understanding and just cool Nino still was… Adrien wondered. “I can always use a friend. I still don’t have many of those… If you want to of course.”

Nino smiled. “Even after everything?”

“I don't think I ever got over you,” Adrien dramatically sighed.

Nino chuckled. “You’re too kind for this world, Adrien. I hope you know that.”

“I did have a friend who used to tell me that all the time. Without him in my life, I haven't heard this in years.”

“I can fill his shoes again if you’re really sure about this.”

“I’m not delusional to think this would be easy. Rebuilding something is bound to have its own issues, especially in our situation.”

“But we can always try.”

“We can.”

Nino stretched his hand to Adrien. “I missed you, bro.”

A smile on his face, Adrien accepted the handshake. “I miss you too, Nino.”

***

With his unexpectedly successful lunch the previous day on his mind, Adrien wanted nothing less than to spend his Sunday visiting the mansion. He’d stalled as much as he could, shopping for groceries, doing his laundry, and even visiting work for half a day. Once the evening drew near, though, he couldn’t excuse himself anymore. An hour’s walk along the Seine helped Adrien come to grips with what he had to do, and soon, he was standing in front of the house he once called home.

“If you don’t want to do it, don’t do it,” Plagg grumbled from his collar.

“I promised Marinette. I have to.”

“Then do it and stop whining.”

Adrien groaned. “You aren’t any help, Plagg.”

“Being helpful isn’t in my job description,” Plagg muttered and relocated to Adrien’s bag. “Wake me up when you’re done standing around, pointlessly staring at the front door.”

Adrien’s shoulders slumped as he sighed dejectedly. Fishing the key out of his pocket, he forced himself to open the door before he could change his mind.

He hadn’t visited ever since he moved out. When his father was alive, it was out of the question. They never reconciled. And after Gabriel's death, his lawyer handled all the necessary procedures without the younger Agreste having to take a single step inside the mansion. It would be put up for sale soon, but for now, Gabriel's possessions were still untouched in the places he’d left them.

Adrien quickly walked through the empty, cold hallway to his father’s office. It hadn’t changed at all: minimalist furnishing, clean design, barren of any comfort and warmth. He paused at his mother’s portrait, making a note to claim it for himself. It was a beautiful piece. His sight shifted to his father’s desk. A few folders and a couple of random things lying atop it. A dead plant in the corner right behind.

Adrien sat in his father’s chair and looked through the folders. None of them were what Marinette needed. He reached for a drawer in the table. Inside were more folders and a slim white box. Pushing the box out of the way, Adrien took the folders out. To his relief, three of those were exactly what he came here for.

“Perfect.” Adrien exhaled and tried to shove the remaining folders back into the drawer. Something was obstructing them. He reached in and pulled the white box out. It was nothing unique, really. A regular box his Father used for his jewelry collection… Yet, even after the files were back in their place, Adrien couldn’t take his eyes off it. Something about the box was just so enigmatic. Something drew him in. Something he couldn’t explain.

He carefully took the lid off.

A bright electric orb exploded in front of him, and a little purple kwami with wings emerged. At first, its eyes were lowered to the floor, but once the creature looked up they widened, mouth falling open.

“Ma-Master?”

“Nooroo! Old pal!” Plagg zoomed out from Adrien’s bag and crushed the little guy in his embrace. “So that’s where you were hiding all this time?”

“Plagg?” Nooroo squeaked.

“Nooroo?” Adrien echoed.

“Yup, my old pal, Nooroo,” Plagg punched the purple kwami’s shoulder. “Hawkmoth’s kwami.”

Adrien sharply inhaled.

Nooroo looked at him and quietly asked, “Where is my Master?”

Adrien could hardly breathe. “What’s the name of your Master?”

"We can't say the names of our wielders to others,” Plagg answered instead. “Some magic stuff I don’t really care about.”

“Can you point to his picture?” Adrien whispered, staring at Nooroo in shock, dreading to hear the answer he suspected he already knew.

Nooroo nodded and stretched his tiny hand in the direction of their family portrait. “The older man,” the kwami said quietly as the world shuddered beneath Adrien’s feet.

Next >

[questionable-child]

Honestly I’m very bored right now so I might just do a FNF mod review right here and now. Just saying some of these I haven’t played because I only play the mods through unblocked games websites and some might not be on them. I have seen play throughs though.

FNF Minus Mod: 8/10 Very good! Pretty much it’s a mod where the characters are changed to look like their battle icons in the original game. Everyone looks super cool! My favorite redesigns are definitely Pico and Lemon Demon though. They made Pico a cool reptile person and he’s wearing a cute dinosaur hoodie! Lemon Demon looks actually intimidating, with long limbs that look static like a broken TV, and he wears a bloody straitjacket. My one complaint is that the songs are the same as the normal game, and I think it would be better if there were new songs to fit the new characters’ personalities. For example, Spookeez and South fit the Spooky Kids because they sound playful and, well, spooky. The new designs have Skid as a creepy ink monster and Pump as a puppet who’s being controlled (or being held captive) by Skid. I think that more intimidating songs would fit better, like maybe for the first song it sounds cheery and playful at the beginning, but gets more eerie as it goes on. Also, being able to change your character to Highlighter Dude is pretty cool, but it didn’t work for me.

FNF But Bad 9/10 I don’t really have any complaints with this one. It’s hilarious, and there is a lot of detail in it! The whole game has been redone to be absolutely horrible in every aspect. All the characters look like they were made in MS Paint, besides Senpai, whose whole week looks like the graphics were from an old NES. The voices for all the characters were redone too, so they sound absolutely ridiculous. Let me tell you, the first time I tried playing it I almost died from laughing at it. Maybe my humor is just broken, but from the backgrounds to the changed song and week names, this mod never fails to give me a good time.

FNF Starcatcher Mod 7/10 The best part of this mod by FAR is the character designs. There isn’t a single design in this mod that I don’t absolutely ADORE! Pico is a badass cyborg, the Mom and the Dad are aliens with new gorgeous outfits, Boyfriend has a cute little astronaut helmet, Girlfriend is also an alien but is also adorable, and honestly I have no idea what the Spooky Kids are supposed to be, but they look cute! The backgrounds are also sick. In Week 2, you can even see the Eyes of the Universe from Spooky Month in the background! My main issue though is the songs. They just aren’t my thing I guess. They’re actually remixes, but they’re barely recognizable. I didn’t even know they were remixes until I got to the good part at the end of Spookeez. (Which they made less good somehow??) They also made another song for week 2 called Sugar Rush, which is cool that they did, but I didn’t really like it either. As much as I love the designs, they aren’t everything and in the end, the music is the most important part of a FNF mod in my eyes.

FNF HD 6/10 This is the only mod on this list that I couldn’t play, but that’s fine. The mod is what the title implies, but it also has STORY! If you didn’t know, I have an insatiable desire to know every bit of story about my favorite games, so this mod having dialogue was a real treat…….at the start, at least. The mod itself is pretty much just the normal game, but with more detail in the art. I kind of prefer the normal game’s art though. It does have two new mechanics: 1. In week 3 Pico actually shoots at you in Blammed, and you have to click a note to dodge them or else you lose half your health, and 2. There are street lights that you have to dodge in M.I.L.F. I don’t really remember how you dodge those though. One small problem is that in M.I.L.F there is an annoying whistle sound that lets you know when to dodge the lights. I get that it’s necessary to let the player know, but it doesn’t sound good at all. In Blammed the gunshot sounds go with the song, you know? Now with the dialogue. It has it’s moments, but most of the time, it’s annoying, or over the top dirty for no reason, or even both. Week 4 is a prime example of all of these problems, but is even worse because it had some heartwarming potential. Both Girlfriend and Boyfriend are also kind of jerks, too. Girlfriend sends Pico to what she says is the Shadow Realm, but without suffering, so pretty much hell without the pain. The guy is messed up, sure, but maybe call the police so he can go to jail and be, like, alive? And she also says that Pico belongs to her? Is he her slave? That’s messed up, man! She also calls Skid and Pump “Freaks of nature” when they are literally CHILDREN, WHY DID YOU EVEN SAY THAT??? Speaking of the children, here’s a positive thing, the dialogue did make them even cuter somehow. Like, they already had 20/20 Head Pats on my cutest video game characters rankings but they made me wanna put em higher. And is it just me, or does Boyfriend talk about Girlfriend more like a carnival prize than a person? Here is a direct quote to prove my point. “Not so fast! You guys ain’t earn her like I did, she’s all mine!” I know there are other ones, but I don’t feel like treating my stupid mod reviews like Restate Answer Explanation Conclusion paragraphs, I like having fun, after all. Boyfriend’s dialogue sprite also look sort of weird. I don’t know what it is about them but they just do. Anyway I’m stopping because I am tired.

[aki-draws-things]

NaNoWriMo 2020 #08

Following yesterday’s prompt here the ending of the fic with a much more proper word countfor the challenge. i have great expectations for this year and I’m doing my best to succeed. The only proble is that I end knee deep into new AUs every time I write something so Now I really want to make those little details a canon for some of the others fics.

Also that means there will probably be more Wen Zhuliu angst too. And i don’t feel sorry.

Have fun reading~ And let me know what you think!!

Day: 08/11/2020

Prompt: enemy to caretaker

Ship: None official

Word Count: 1912

Wen Zhuliu knew the meaning of loyalty ever since childhood.

“Take care of your brother. Don’t stray from the righteous path. And remember, when the world will turn against you, and believe me, it will, your brother will be the one who will never betray you.”

Wen Zhuliu gave his outmost loyalty to his brother, and his brother did the same. Until the day he saw it for the first time, his father’s golden core. People around him thought he was greedy, and ambitious, and craving for power. People thought he killed his father and brother because he wanted to be better and stronger than them. His brother was only seven. Wen Zhuliu kept the truth hidden so well over the years that he almost began to believe the words going around, but none of them were true. He reached out when he saw the golden core shining bright, fascinated by its warmth, he wanted to brush his fingers on him, he wanted to hug his fatter and press his cheek against the bright light . But when he touched it, it changed. He felt power, a surge of energy rushing inside of him, burning and painful. He screamed and his screams covered his father’s. When his legs decided to work again he stood and ran dashing past his sleepy brother, with nothing but the clothes he was wearing. The pain subsided slowly, it took him three agonizing days before the superfluous energy dissipated and by then he couldn’t turn back and return home. So he wandered. Everywhere he went there were people with bright golden cores, every time he brushed against one he felt pain and energy flow from the person to him. It was Wen RuoHan who explained what he could do. Wen RuoHan who took his frightened hand and raised him to walk next to him. Wen RuoHan who gave him the Wen name. Wen Zhuliu knew that day where his loyalty now lay. There was a little seven years old boy back at home, scared and weeping in a dark room begging the wind to bring back his older brother.

When his eyes laid on Nie ZongHui he thought it was an illusion, an hallucination, because in the end the little, scared boy grew up resembling their father more than he could probably remember. But he was real, he was there, and old loyalties sparkled brighter than ever. “Your brother will never betray you.” Once their father said and he chose to believe. Blood called loyalty and he let him go. He almost reached out, not to his golden core, but to his face. He believed to a lie for so long that he wanted to feel it real. He let him run.

Looking at Nie MingJue forced on his knees and held by three soldiers, Wen Zhuliu wondered what ZongHui saw in him. He knew the Nie history, of course, just as he knew the history of all the Main Sects, Wen RuoHan taught him carefully and well before he went mad with power and poisoned the world around him, included his children, leading his wife he once claimed to love more than everything to take here own life. Wen Zhuliu wasn’t a murderer, he had never killed, not that he was aware of it. She grabbed his hand and pressed it on her lower abdomen before he could even think of what was happening, when he tried to move away, eyes wide in horror, it was too late. His power, the energy residing in his fingers, latched around her golden core and grasped it, pulled it, twisted it until it was his together with every drop of her spiritual energy. She fell and the door slammed open, his hands still glowing softly, his body readjusting at the new wave of energy.

Wen Zhuliu knew loyalty, and he knew fear and pain. He was unconscious before the hand of his Master reached him.

“What’s so special?” He used to be curious, he used to ask more questions than normal, he used to ask three questions, and then two more before the first one had been answered. He pushed this side of him deep deep down the more he lived in the Wen sect, the more he served a power hungry Wen RuoHan and his younger son. But Wen Chao wasn’t in the Unclean Realm that night and he could allow himself to wonder. “What does he see in there?” He looked over the bed Nie MingJue laid, his spiritual energy blocked and preventing him to heal faster, sweat covering his body as he fought through the pain and the infection from the branding mark.

Nie HuaiSang was on the bed closer to him, he leaned over and passed a soothing salve over the mark before covering it again, he moaned and opened his eyes, immediately trying to get away from him.

“What do you want? What have you done to us? Da-ge…?” He turned and looked at his brother before jumping down from his bed before Wen Zhuliu could advise him not to move too much and climbed next to him inspecting his not yet healed wound and the heat coming from his body.

“Your brother will never betray you. The world will. The world will be set on fire one day, and your brother will be the only one who would never throw in it to save himself.” His father had been right, in some way. He knew what he was talking about, a bond between brothers, no matter what, was always stronger than any loyalty. “I want that.” He thought surprised at how childish his voice sounded in his mind. “I want that back.” Still wen RuoHan had saved him that day. But he wasn’t the same Wen RuoHan he was now. “Maybe… Maybe I can ask. Maybe he would come with me. Or not. Maybe his loyalty to the Nies is more powerful and means more than me. Than the one who left. Maybe —”

“What have you done to him? His Qi —” Wen Zhuliu blinked, bringing the room back in his focus. No point in dwell on possibilities and past.

“I just blocked it. Wen Chao asked me to burn his golden core, I—” Disobeyed. That wasn’t going to end well. He swallowed and looked again at Nie HuaiSang who was now holding an empty cup as his only weapon. Wen Zhuliu smiled. “What are you going to do? Throw it at m—”

The cup flew next to his head before he finished the question and shattered on the wall behind him. He sighed.

“It was rhetorical. Believe me or not but I’m not planning on harming any of you. Your wind is almost healed, it will scar but there is nothing I can do to prevent it. His — I’m good at healing, but not enough apparently. Can’t unblock his energy, - “Yes, you can.” Nie HuaiSang pointed out and brushed a cold cloth over his brother’s forehead. “You don’t want to.” - Wen Chao will notice I didn’t follow his orders.”

He took a moment longer to think of what to do next before making up his mind. It wasn’t going to end well, why wasn’t he scared? He should have.

“But there is someone who will heal him for sure.”

It took Nie HuaiSang a couple of hours and many sighs before finally agreeing with Wen Zhuliu reluctantly. Carrying him to Yiling unseen wasn’t as easy as they hoped. Wen Zhuliu tried to block out the soft whispers coming from the back of the carriage, the movement had probably woke Nie MingJue up, his voice rough and low, pained; his breath hard.

“Where are we going?”

“Somewhere safe. To someone who can heal you.”

Nie MingJue hummed lightly.

“It doesn’t matter. I’m dead already.”

“That’s not true, Da-ge. It’s the fever talking, and we both know you don’t control your mouth when ill.” He tried to sound light, almost joking, Wen Zhuliu imagined his smaller arms wrapping around his brother and holding him closer.

“ZongHui… Where’s ZongHui?”

He tried, he really tried not to listen.

“I’m sure he’s safe to. You told him to go ask for help, remember?”

“Lotus pier… yes. Ah! No… no, we can't leave Qinghe. If he comes back and doesn’t find us—”

Lotus Pier. Wen Chao talked about the place. It was their next target. Maybe he could get there before him. He could try.

“He will be fine, Da-ge. You need to think about healing first.” The carriage fell silent for the rest of the ride.

“Why?” Wen Qing simply asked. He looked at Wen Zhuliu, and then at the Nie brothers, the older one slumped unconscious on the younger.

“They’re wounded. And you’re the best medic in Qishan.”

“Is it some kind of trap? Take them here, bring Wen Chao - She snarled the name in hate. - here and have him destroy everything? Great plan. It’s not going to work.” She was starting to turn and shut the doors when Wen Ning's voice attracted her attention.

“Jie… I don’t like his fever.” Blood was trickling down his lips.

“He won’t come. I’ll make sure he won’t. Just… Just take them in. - It was risky. That would forever compromise his loyalty. Wen RuoHan will certainly kill him. - Heal them. Keep them safe.” And with that he turned on his heels and ran.

He ran and he flew to Lotus Pier hoping to be on time. Hoping to arrive before Wen Chao did, before ZongHui could explain and set off to reclaim Qinghe.

He was on time, by mere minutes.

“They’re not in Qinghe.” It wasn’t the usual greeting, it wasn’t too ideal either, not after years of not even seeing each other. “You’ll have to prove you’re one of them, Wen Qing is not the most trusty woman. But she’s a medic, and she’s trustworthy.”

“Why?” Why? Why what? “Why are you doing that? Suddenly, after bursting into our sect with that Wen dog. After calling yourself a Wen. Why should I believe you.”

“You shouldn’t.” He thought.

“Because you’re the one I would never lie to not even if I wanted to.”

Nie ZongHui had one of his sabers in hand, still pointing at him cautiously. Maybe that was the way to keep his life. To make things right. It was worth a try.

“Stab me. Make it look real and then run.”

“What?” He widened his eyes and almost let go of the saber.

“You heard me. Stab me. There.” He walked closer, the point of the blade touching his chosen point. Nie ZongHui tried to take a step back. “They will think the Jiang attacked me. They won’t even see you escape.”

“But— why?”

Wen—Zhao Zhuliu caressed the side of his head and pushed the blade ZongHui still held deep in his body giving him a bloody smile before falling.

“Go. Go now. Go, g—”

Nie ZongHui ran for the second time in days. He ran to Yiling like he instructed him, he found the door being knocked shut in his face three times before HuaiSang came out and finally convinced the Wen girl to let him in. His sword’s blade still wet with blood.

“Zhuliu? Wen Zhuliu!” He blinked his eyes open tiredly, he stopped the bleeding almost as soon as the blade slid out of his chest.

“It’s fine… I just need some rest. I’m— fine…” He closed his eyes again.

[animecat33]

I’m in a mood, so here’s some an extremely long post with shit conflict that happened on deviantart when i was younger that i’m still petty about and i wanna vent about it because if i wasn’t so young i woldn’t have let people step on me like that

No one should read this, tbh, it’s a fucking horror show out here 

oc: Shinju

When i made her it was the first time one of my ocs had like effort put into it, i designed her, make her backstory, put her in kirigakure, and i spent a long time researching names for her, looking up japanese words that i think would fit her, Ren Takeo

One person commented saying that they had an with the same name, from the same village, though they didn’t mean any harm by saying that, and even said it was fine

Here’s where it gets tricky.

I then got comments and private messages from OTHER PEOPLE telling me to change the name

So, like the weak bitch i was, i changed her name 

Oc: Roxy

I’ve talked about this one before, but i have this sonic oc named Roxy, i loved her, she was a bit edgy but like, queen, 10 years ago we were ALL edgy

I really wanted Roxy to be a lesbian, but i didn’t like, put that in the info, at the time gay ocs we’re really taken very well by the community, plus a few of my art friends were very iffy anytime i implied that some of my ocs might not be 100% straight.

now, i WANTED Roxy to be a lesbian but i was guilt tripped by some dude to roleplay with him, no matter now many time i said i didn’t roleplay, he wouldn’t take no for an answer and I was very easily guilt tripped into eventually saying yes

A roleplay starts with Roxy and his Male wolf characer, John, when we started he assured that they were gonna be friends but one thing lead to another and he pressured me into role playing a sex scene, i was 14, i didn’t want to, didn’t even know how to write that. At that age i hadn’t really even seen porn before, but a few days of mowing down my boundries and he guilt trips me into saying yes.

At that point, he essencially took Roxy and did whatever the hell he wanted with her. Next thing i know, Roxy was married to this male character and they had a baby? I even ended up making some art of them because he kept saying how he was tired of making all the artwork himself.

Thank god, eventually he forgot about me and Roxy for a lot time. The last time i talked to him was on a pm where he warned me he was gonna delete all his ocs, including Roxy and Johns child, i think he wanted me to convince him not to do it but by that time i was older and just said “alright man, see ya”

Thank fuck, that problem solved itself, but i’d be better off not going through it in the first place

The cosplay hellhole

When i first started cosplaying, i posted my pictures to DA too, since there was a cosplay community there, didn’t think anything would happen

When i got my first Harley wig and makeup i was so excited i posted them on deviantart, and they did quite well, tbh. Some people asked for fansigns, and i didn’t even know who those were but, once it was explained to me, i did some for people who requested them, from there it was also fine, but stay tuned, cause it’s gonna bite me in the ass later down the line

I start getting wierd dms, very sexual in nature, which grossed me out, since i was already 20 it wasn’t like, illegal or anything, but there was a pattern of people asking for sexual content followed by “it’s okay if you say no, though” and when i said no, they would be pissed at me, calling me a whore, saying if i didn’t want attention, i wouldn’t cosplay Harley.... keep in mind, all of my photos where from the shoulder up at this point, i muscle through this time, i’ve been harrassed enough to have a lil bit thicker skin.

But over time, the pile up of messages from diferent accounts were getting to me, and i was starting to delete photos.

AND THEN

He said he was embarrassed of having to send me these things but if i wanted the photo taken down i’d have to report it myself, thankfully he also found the direct link to the report page so i didn’t have to dig through the website. Thankfully the report worked and the photo was taken down

I receive a pm from a friend that scared the shit out of me. He was going through this porn website called Xhamster, he recognises someone using one of my fansigns as a photo, now he KNOWS this isn’t me, because i’ve been vocal about not wanting to be sexualized while in cosplay. Someone took one of the fansigns, edited out the words, flipped the image, and photoshopped their own signature on to the sign in hopes of like... getting verified or something?. In short this person was using my photo as if it was a photo of them.

That mixed in with the still incoming pms from creeps made me delete every cosplay photo i’ve ever posted on deviantart.

Years later i did post new cosplay stuff again, now giving a warning right at the top of the description and being very okay with using the block button to my leisure.

I’m taking a long as fuck hiatus from posting on deviantart, it’s been over a year now, but i still go on a block spree when someone breaks the rules i’ve set 

The whole “Luís” saga

Sit down for this one, it’s the weirdest one

I had a friend named Luís, we weren’t super close, in fact he was mean to me a lot, making fun of my english, even though neither of us were native speakers, refering to my home country as “Spain’s bitch”. Sending me cartoon porn when i was underaged was a big red flag that i didn’t even think was a big deal until i was older and thought back on it, like that was fucked up.

One day, i had critiques open, Luís sends a super spammy message and then blocks me. I was like “okay, whatever, i’m tired anyway” and i blocked him back.

THAT is when shit hit the fan

He tries to unblock me and talk to me, when that doesn’t work he makes a secondary account and starts sending me very aggressive pms. I’m was tired of how he acted with me, plus something about him being so desperate to be unblocked didn’t sit right, so i just blocked the new accounts

He made 15 separate accounts, getting more and more angry with each one, i block all 15.

Suddenly i’m getting pms in english and spanish from people i’ve never interacted with, but aparently Luís had told them i was being some sort of monster, some of them backed off after seeing the full picture, the others got blocked

Luís girlfriend was friends with me.

He then threatned to leave her if she didn’t block me.... she left HIM, and now I’M being blamed for that

Someone shared some uuuuhhhh fanart he drew of her after that, it was super sus, it was a comic about him seducing her with a kiss in order to make her hate someone, girl you’re better off without him, jesus christ

Now shit starts moving off of deviantart

He finds my personal facebook, which was NOT disclosed to the public, and starts messaging me, from there he found my twitter, youtube, skype, starts messaging my irl friends, quite a lot of them did not even know english at the time.

In the few messages before i blocked him, i warned him to stop, i warned him he was stalking me online and that shit isn’t okay. THIS DUDE 

this dude replied with “it’s not stalking because i’m younger than you”

BOI

this happened over the course of a year, and it was the first time i ever reported someone, hell it’s the first time i’ve seen a report be successful, because i contact deviantart with a list of everything he’s done, screenshots to prove it, links to his separate accounts where all the comments are ONLY about me

a week later they DELETE THIS MAN’S WHOLE ACCOUNT

I have not heard from him in almost a decade

This is like, the ONE TIME i feel like i won

Aaand well, done, those are the most serious one, there’s some minor shit that’s not worth talking about, but looking back, wow, i used to get a lot of sexual harassment on deviantart huh?

[supernovaspidey]

I feel safer in your arms

               Pairing: Peter Parker x Reader

               Summary: You have been MIA for over a week, and Peter and Ned are trying to figure out what they did that could possibly make you ignore them for so long. It took one party at Flash’s place and an inconvenient Brad Davis to make you finally go off.

               Author’s note: hey, guys. It took a lot for me to post this, the main plot is based on a personal experience I’ve been through, and I decided to write about it as a way of dealing with the shitty situation. I tried to make the emotions as realistic as possible, in order to express my feelings, but I’m not exactly a great writer and English is not my mother language, so please be patient with me if I’ve made some mistakes throughout the story. Make sure to tell me what you thought about the story, it would make me really happy. Also, if any of you have been through a similar experience and want to talk, hit me up, I’m sure we can help each other, I certainly do need some help lmao

               Dedicated to: my favorite blogs! @infamous-webhead @justauthoring @userspidey @imnotobsessedwithhim @tomhreads @peterjonesparker @soulspideys@spideyxchelle (I know some of you might be weirded out because I have never interacted with you but i am in love with your blogs, i’m  just rly shy, anyways hope you enjoy xo) and @lousimusician (U R THE BEST OMG as I said in your ask previously I am in love with your blog and your work fuckkkkkk, you are awesome and rly sweet ❤️)

               Warnings: angst, mentions of harassment, slight PTSD, slight swearing, fluff (I SWEAR!!!), Peter Parker being the clueless human being on Earth, but also the cutest, protective!Peter, Ned is just a sweetheart I love him

               Word count: 2961

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               - Dude, what’s going on? Did you two have a fight or something? Because if you did, I swear to God I’ll…

               - Ned! Stop freaking out on me, man. You are making me worse than I already am. And no, we didn’t have a fight or anything like that. I honestly don’t know what’s going on. – Peter was clearly hurt and worried.

               - Sorry, it’s just that… it’s been a week. I miss her. I wonder what you did wrong this time. – Ned looked really judgmental and Peter wasn’t having it.

               - What is that supposed to mean?

               - Come on, dude. You may be her best friend but she clearly has a thing for you and every time she gets somewhat flirty, your oblivious self, despite being completely obsessed with her as well, always screw things up and she gets mad, so… what did you do this time?

               - She doesn’t… have a thing for me. – Peter’s cheeks started getting red with the suggestion.

               - Whatever helps you sleep at night. And that’s not the point! What. Did. You. Do?

               - Nothing, I swear! One night we were fine texting each other and then… She just isolated everyone. She’s been ignoring me since then but I promise I didn’t do anything wrong, I even checked our conversation. Here! – Peter grabbed his phone so fast it almost fell, unblocked it, and clicked on your contact, he didn’t think it was right to show Ned your conversation but the need to prove his innocence was stronger.

               (y/n): “wassup, arachnid?”

               (Peter): “(y/n) could u pls come up with a better nickname? That one’s awful :(“

               (y/n): “i’m working on it, but until I find the perfect one u’ll just have to get used to this mediocre-quality one lol”

               You guys kept talking about nonsenses until you told him you needed to go.

               (y/n): “gotta go, family gathering at gram’s. try not to cry because u miss me so much, I’ll be back I promise :p”

               (Peter): “well I’ll try but idk if I will be able to go through the next couple of hours without you annoying the life out of me. It’ll be so hard :(“

               (y/n): “damn ur heartless. Anyways bye, arachnid xo”

               (Peter): “S T O P”

               (Peter): “are you still at your grandma’s place? It’s like 2 a.m.”

               (Peter): “(y/n)???”

               (Peter): “if ur mad about me calling u annoying i’m sorryyy”

               (Peter): “:(“

               (Peter): “you weren’t at class today. everything okay? just checking, I’m worried abt u”

               (Peter): “u missed a Chem assignment today, I’m paired up with you, it’s nothing out of this world but we need to talk abt it”

               (Peter): “hey… listen u’ve been MIA for almost a week, now idk what’s going on but you can talk to me, let me help”

               (Peter): “Ned and I went over to your place to talk to you but your mom didn’t let us in. pls tell me what’s going on”

               - Damn, Peter…

               - What? – He was certain he didn’t do anything wrong but after showing Ned the texts he got a little insecure. After all, he never realized when he was messing things up, he just got super nervous and started rambling nonstop until shit hit the fan.

               - You guys are so flirty, it’s so disgusting, just ask her out already, geez.

               - Ned!

               - Okay okay, well, I admit, I didn’t see anything wrong, except for you clearly trying to flirt with her and being a total failure.

               - Shut up.

               They were sitting at their usual table in the cafeteria, theorizing about what made you go off on them. Both of them were uneasy, you were their best friend and they liked you too much to just let you push them away like this. Peter was particularly off, at the same time he was dying of worries, he was pissed at you. After all the mad shit you’ve been through together, he’d think you cared about him enough not to just ignore his complete existence out of nowhere. To be honest he was hurt about the fact that you didn’t like him as much as he liked you.

               - Yo, assholes. – Flash just jumped up at your table. – I’m trying to do some community service, so as my first act of kindness I will allow you to go to my party tomorrow. My place at 10. Don’t be weird or I’ll change my mind and kick you out of there.  Make sure (y/n) is there, she’s a sight I’d like to see at my place. See ya, losers.

               As fast as Flash got to their table, he went away, not giving the boys an opportunity to answer. Peter closed his fists so hard at the mention of your name that his knuckles turned white. Ned simply rolled his eyes and told Peter to forget about it.

               Peter took his cellphone again and opened your chat. It had been one day since he last texted you and tried to go to your place, so he was thinking whether he should tell you about the party or not. A part of him was angry and didn’t want to text you because of the shit you’ve been making him go through, but the other part was hopeful you’d show up at Flash’s and finally give him an opportunity to talk to you. He decided he missed you too much and would take any chance he could to see you. So he sent you the text.

               (Peter): “hey, Flash is throwing a party tomorrow night and he invited us. yes. all of us. anyway, it’ll be at 10. hope you show up.”

               There. Plain and simple. A loud sigh left Peter’s mouth as he hit his head on the table.

               - It’s okay, dude. She’ll be there. Don’t stress about it.

               (…)

               - Do you see her? – It was the fifth time Ned poked Peter and asked the same question. Peter felt like he was about to lose it.

               - No, dude. I’ve been looking directly at the door and she still hasn’t shown up.

               - She will come, Peter. Don’t worry. Hey, do you think Betty would be impressed with this hat I’m wearing?

               - Uhm, sure! Why don’t you go over to her?

               - Are you sure? You’ll be okay? I know (y/n) is always the one who makes you company… - Ned was about to start rambling but Peter was quick to stop him laughing.

               - Ned, I’m fine. Now go get your girl.

               - Yeah yeah, you should go get yours too, you know. Look who just showed up. – Ned pointed to the door.

               And there you were, with all your non-glory, and an alarm rang in Peter’s head almost instantaneously. The first thing he noticed was your clothing. You were wearing a jacket, which was not usual for you, who is always complaining about how hot it is, even if it´s freezing. The next thing he noticed was your body, you were thinner, not enough to make everyone notice, but he for sure did, and he for sure got worried right away. The last thing he noticed was your face. He always admired you for being so outgoing and confident, but now you looked scared and insecure, constantly looking to your sides, like the walls had spikes and the room was slowly getting smaller around you.

               After scanning the whole room, your eyes met Peter’s, he was beside Ned, looking straight at you, you forced a side smile and walked up to them.

               - Peter, Ned… Hi. – You looked really shy, something was definitely off.

               - Hey, (y/n)! Oh my God I missed you so much, where have you been? We thought you were mad at us. – Ned was as agitated as he was when he talked about Betty. You couldn’t help but smile at how excited your best friend was to see you.

               - I… I was sick, really sick. You know how it is… - You looked at Peter, but he had his eyes fixed on the floor, looking upset.

               - Of course you were. – He sighed and you felt the sarcasm in his voice.

               - Excuse me?

               - I’m not buying that, (y/n). If you really were sick you would tell us, you know, your best friends.

               - Yo, don’t put me into this mess, I’m going to talk to Betty now. But (y/n), I’ll talk to you later, okay? So happy to see you again! – Ned was quick to flee the situation, leaving you and Peter alone. You grabbed his hand and took him to the pool area, where there were less people.

               - Start talking, Parker.

               - What?

               - You were pretty quick to shoot me a snarky comment inside, so I guess you have a lot to say, right? Start talking.

               - I… I don’t have…

               - Peter, talk!

               - Why… Why would you ignore me for over a week? You were so sick you couldn’t grab your phone? And if you really were sick, why didn’t your mom tell us right away? I was so upset with you I wasn’t even going to tell you about the party, but I missed you and was worried about you and wanted to see you, and you lie to my face?

               - I shouldn’t have ignored you, I know. I’m sorry. I really am. But you want to talk about lying? What about all the times you lied right to my face for almost a year, huh? The Stark Internship, the Washington shit, me being stood up by you countless times, what about that? You didn’t tell me about the spider shit, I figured it out by myself. And it’s okay if you didn’t want to tell me, that’s your business, but don’t point your finger at me talking about fucking honesty. – Peter’s face was sad and angry at the same time as you threw the words at him.

               - You know, I only came to this shitty party to see you. – You stared right into his eyes. – I missed you and wanted to have a good time with you, but I guess that’s not going to happen so leave me alone. – At the moment Peter saw tears wanting to leave your eyes, he knew something was wrong, and that he had messed up. Big time.

               - (y/n), wait! – He tried to hold you but you sprinted back inside the house, leaving him with his thoughts.

               You were grabbing a snack at the kitchen, when you felt someone breathing down your neck. You froze instantly, trying to push away the memories. You turned and in front of you was Brad Davis. He was a good guy, but he was drunk and an alarm rang in your head.

               - What the fuck? Back off, Brad.

               - Hey, (y/n)! Long time no see, wanna dance? – He placed his hands on your shoulder, and the memories came flooding you as you tried pushing them away.

               - No.

               - Come here, I missed you. – He then pulled you in for a hug. At the moment you felt his hands on your back and waist, and smelled the alcohol exhaling from his mouth, you just couldn’t fight the memories any longer. It was like you were back your grandma’s house all over again, you started to shiver, your heart felt like it was going to go out of your chest and your vision turned black.

               - Get off of me! – You couldn’t stop yourself. You shoved him away aggressively, and punched him right in his face. It was like you were stuck in your own body, not being able to control it.

               You realized what you did when he hit the floor, nose bleeding.

               - I’m… I’m so sorry… I… - The music had stopped, you looked up and everyone was looking at you. Then you saw him. Peter. You immediately ran away and grabbed a cab down the street, ignoring Peter’s screams calling you and asking you to wait.

               By the time you got home, you were crying uncontrollably. You laid in bed and let everything sink in. You knew going to the party was a mistake but you did it anyway. Fucking stupid little girl.

               - (y/n), let me in. – You looked at your window and saw Peter with his suit on, how could he have changed clothes so fast?

               You went over and opened the window. He got in, you turned around as he changed clothes once more. You turned around again when he was done and sat on the bed. He sat beside you.

               - So, I’m an idiot. I know. – He looked at you with puppy hazel eyes and you couldn’t help but laugh a bit. – (y/n)… what happened? Please, I beg you to talk to me.

               So, you started talking immediately. The more you talked, the more you cried. You talked about how when at your grandma’s, while the whole family was going to take a picture, your old drunk cousin grabbed you by the arm to be closer to him, and started walking down your body with his hand, making you freeze with terror. You talked about how you felt like you couldn’t move or scream, about how hard he was squeezing your arm, leaving a bruise after. You talked about how you felt used, dirty, and weak, about how you should have done something, anything, but instead you stayed there like a scared little girl. You talked about how you were afraid of people touching you now, and how afraid you were of hurting people, and how that’s exactly what happened. You hurt someone, Brad. And finally, you talked about how you were feeling like your worst version of yourself, and didn’t want anyone to see that, especially Peter.

               He listened to everything quietly, and only after you finished talking was when he realized he wasn’t breathing and that you had grabbed his hand at some point. He didn’t know what to say, all he felt was hatred, so he started crying.

               - I’m so sorry, I made this whole thing about me when you were hurting so much. – You squeezed his hand when you heard he say that.

               - Listen, it’s not your fault. I shouldn’t have ignored you, I just didn’t want you to see the mess I am right now.

               - You are not a mess. It’s not your fault this happened to you. You are the strongest person that I’ve ever known, you are the utter best version of yourself and that’s one of the many reasons why I really like you and… - He suddenly stopped when he realized what he said.

               Shit.

               - You know… as a friend… my best friend! You are my best friend and I like you as my best friend and… - He stopped on his tracks when he felt you hugging him, he didn’t know what to do so he slowly and gently put his arms around you, making sure you were comfortable.

               (…)

                 After that night, things didn’t get better, but they got less worse. Peter and Ned were the only people you were comfortable with, and Peter was the only one you were physically comfortable with. You didn’t think it was possible to be closer than you were before, but it happened. Peter was super protective of you, and he didn’t even noticed. He would always hold your hand when you were walking, and would always make sure you felt safe. Every time he noticed you being anxious, he would grab your hand and caress it with his thumb, or he would play with your hair and whisper “it’s okay, I’m here with you. You are okay” into your ear. He made you feel safe, and he also made you feel weird things, mushy and warm things. He looked at you differently, you knew it, and it always made you feel like your stomach was upside down, but in a great way.

               One day, you, Peter and Ned were at the cafeteria talking, you and Peter were holding hands when you felt hands on your shoulders. You stopped moving right away

               - (y/n), nice work on that assignment! – Your Chemistry teacher said and left without letting you respond.

               Peter and Ned looked at you, clear worriedness stamped on their faces. You started to breathe heavily, your heartbeat started racing, you started shaking and your eyes got wet. Peter quickly grabbed your hand and took you away.

               He took you to the janitor’s closet, the closest thing to the cafeteria. It was so small you were pressed against each other, but Peter didn’t care about that. All he cared about was you. When he closed the door, you started sobbing.

               - Hey, hey it’s okay, I’m here. You are okay. No one’s going to hurt you, okay? I promise. – He hold you tight in his arms.

               - I… I feel dirty.

               - Here – he stood in front of you, took off his sweater, staying only with his nerdy shirt, and swept it over your shoulders. – I’m cleaning them, see? They’re clean. You’re not dirty, you are perfect.

               He wiped your tears away and started caressing your cheek, cupping your face with his hands.

               - I’m here and I’ll always be here. You are okay.

               - I’m… I’m okay.

               - See? Everything’s going to be okay. – He hugged you once more.

               - Peter? – You called against his chest.

               - Huh? – He didn’t let you go.

               - Thank you. I… I really like you too. You know, as my best friend… - You felt his heart racing. – You know what I mean.

               He let you out of his arms to look at you. He knew what you meant, he remembered the day he almost confessed his feelings, but he thought you wouldn’t have realized.

               He kept his hazel eyes glued at yours, and you could swear he was seeing through your soul at that moment. He smiled, his face lit up. You smiled. You don’t know how long you guys stayed there, but it felt like eternity and it wasn’t enough.