#and I need escitalopram

[kulliare]

tagged by @shrips for 9 books you'd like to read in the new year! ty for the tag-- i tag @halfagod @albatrossisland @eponine119 @tru-lyly

[dolceinsomnia]

everyday i an thankful that my brain developed and i am no longer 17 she was literally fucking insane. if u are 17 and insane and u think the world is ending just give it a few years

[fridgevespidae]

i think i should be allowed to simply not have moral ocd

[daughter-of-sapph0]

I know it's medical student syndrome. but like, looking at the symptoms of bpd I can't help thinking "damn it would probably be easier to make a list of all of these things that didn't apply to me"

[emcant]

I want my unmedicated years back

[ilynpilled]

going to the hospital in like 20 minutes🫡

[ljuerlav]

things happen when I'm asleep but also other things dont

[transmutationisms]

u said antidepressants 'work', but not to reduce depression. in what capacity do they function? what was your experience being on them, and what made you come off?

i think we in antipsych circles (broadly construed) need to be more cautious about distinguishing between the statements "antidepressants don't cure depression" and "antidepressants don't do anything". they're psychoactive substances, not sugar pills; they 'work' like any active drug, it's just they don't always do things we want them to do lol. joanna moncrieff is always the first person i would recommend for reading on this.

i was on a lot of different antidepressants & for no one's amusement but yours & mine i compiled the following list of my completely subjective opinions & ratings.

escitalopram -> initially thought it made me less suicidal, stopped a few years in after realising that was unrelated. had brain zaps getting on it but didn't really notice side effects while i took it except if my psych was late writing a prescription: withdrawal was the pits. 1/10

bupropion -> like a weak stimulant with an unpleasant high, stopped taking because i had cardiac problems and no money and didn't think it was doing anything anyway. oh i had seizures on this but it was always just because i got too bold mixing drugs i knew were contraindicated lol. 6/10

amitriptyline -> psychiatrist thought i had some mysterious form of sensorimotor depression & this was supposed to cure my restless agitation or something. stopped taking because it did nothing except turn my pee blue and make it logistically more complicated to use other drugs. 2/10

tramadol -> used recreationally, liked, similar to other opioids. stopped because my plug turned out to be a huge asshole. 9/10

trazodone -> best sleeping pill besides alcoholism but i built up a tolerance and the hangovers were even worse. i still keep this around as a special treat prn. 7/10

mirtazapine -> used recreationally, mediocre but my friend's doctor kept prescribing it to her. stopped when we got better drugs. 3/10

dextromethorphan -> re-discovered 30 seconds ago that this is now marketed as an antidepressant in the US lmfao. used to do it recreationally when i couldn't get my hands on anything else. like a mediocre trip; quit because drinking that much cough syrup is frankly gross and more expensive than you would think and it's hard to find the kind without other active ingredients in. 4/10

lurasidone -> literally zero recollection of this one, found it in my medical records 💀 based on the timeframe i was doing a lot of other drugs and the notes said a fairly low dose so i really couldn't say if it even did anything. 0/10

atomoxetine -> off-label as an antidepressant, hated, horrible cardiac effects that were exacerbated by competing with the bupropion for one of my liver enzymes in the metabolic process. 0/10

venlafaxine, fluoxetine, sertraline, some others -> didn't feel like they were doing much of anything, tried & quit pretty quickly. 1/10

[soupandspoonies]

Heyyy! It's been a while again because legitimately everything sucks at the moment...

I've been experiencing a flare up in pretty much everything and I have been so unbelievably exhausted. I just had my infusion for my vyepti so I'm expecting my headaches to get better in the next couple of weeks. Every week before my infusion my headaches increase in severity and it's really tough to get through. I'm thankful that the infusions help decrease my pain from my headaches, because with how my fibro pain has been - it's a bit unbearable.

I've been going through a lot with my meds recently too. I switched to taking duloxetine for my fibromyalgia and depression in December but unfortunately it didn't do anything for me. We tried adding a couple other meds on top because my anxiety symptoms were being managed but not my depression or pain. I'm currently switching back to escitalopram because it was very helpful for my mood and anxiety symptoms and I am looking forward to it making a difference again.

At my last appointment I spoke to my doctor about the possibility of having OCD and what that would mean for me treatment wise - and she agreed with my therapist that I have it. I'm going to continue in therapy and hopefully get it in check along with the help of my antidepressants when I am fully titrated.

Additionally, at my last appointment I spoke to my doctor about the fact that my knees have been popping out of their sockets? (this is undetermined because it's just been momentary and I'm not entirely sure if they're actually popping out or if something else is happening) I have been added to a waitlist to get an MRI on my left knee because it has been the most problematic, but I am still waiting to hear back about it.

On the topic of my legs, my fibro flare up in addition to my knees popping out has made it so I am in too much pain to walk far distances. As someone who was previously very active and able to run several kilometers through the pain, the inability to even walk around the block without severe pain has been incredibly jarring. I am currently looking into forearm crutches to hopefully regain some control and ability to walk longer distances because it has been greatly impacting my life as of late. At my next appointment at the end of the month I'm going to ask my GP for a prescription for the crutches so I can get insurance to cover them. I am still looking for good quality crutches that are available in Canada, so if anyone has suggestions please let me know!

Overall, I'm experiencing a lot of grief towards the development of my disability. I'm really struggling to come to terms with everything and I've felt very isolated due to my inability to comfortably get out of the house or do things I enjoy. I may make a more lengthy post about that because I've had a lot of big conversations with my mum and therapist about it and I think it may be something others can relate too.

I hope people are as good as they can be and are getting the rest they need :)

Soup

[actualbird]

thoughts on nxx as antidepressants please

weeping at this ask. i see my blog has reached INCOMPREHENSIBLE levels of nxx headcanons. im so honored....

that being said, i dont have much experience with antidepressants actually, so to honor the "write what you know" adage, i will be veering outside of antidepressants to anxiety meds and mood stabilizers that i do have more lived experience with. that being said, im not a doctor, but a patient. take all this with a grain of salt.

without further ado

the nxx boys as psychiatric medications ive taken

luke = pregabalin (used to treat anxiety, but ALSO used to treat nerve pain. i was prescribed this not for psych reasons actually but to treat a neurological issue i had, and i wouldnt be surprised if pregabalin was included in luke's list of treatments for his own neurological illness. the anxiety bit also seems fitting for luke because hes the type to endlessly worry himself with all the worse case scenarios, sometimes to his (and others') detriment)

-

artem = escitalopram. (baby's first antidepressant!! it was my first, and i think it fits artem well cuz it's used to treat both depression and anxiety, two things i think he has an abundance of. artem gets prescribed this and immediately goes into a self-worth crisis for even needing to take medication. "im really faulty, arent i..." artem thinks. chin up, artem, it aint all that bad!)

-

vyn = aripiprazole. (im currently taking aripiprazole as an adjunct medication working together with another thing im taking, and that seems to fit vyn's role as a psychiatrist/psychologist well; somebody to help you along the way in ur mental health journey along with other treatments. plus, aripiprazole is similarly hard to say just like adjudicator)

-

marius = lamotrigine. (this is an anti-epileptic medication thats also used as a mood stabilizer for bipolar disorder, and this one is marius primarily because it's the meds i have the hiGHEST DOSAGE FOR, THE PILL IS SO BIG, IT IS MAKING ITSELF KNOWN, just like marius' general 'in your face' facade. my reasoning for this is weakest among the boys, yes, but who knows. marius could have bipolar disorder like me. actually, all of the boys and mc could be bipolar. they all found each other like manic depressive magnets. sorry, what was this part about? i seem to have meandered. oh right. MARIUS. LAMOTRIGINE.)

-

thank you for this ask, anon. it gave me a hearty laugh

[amidnightqueery]

I start taking duloxetine tomorrow. It is primarily for my chronic pain / fibromyalgia, but my doctor is concerned about my mental state and knows about my GAD and suicidal ideation, so it's a trifold thing.

I've taken venlafaxine, escitalopram, and mirtazapine in the past. The only one I had positive experiences with was escitalopram. Regardless, I didn't entirely like what it turned me into, so I weaned myself off of it and told myself I'd never take an antidepressant again.

Because of that, I'm not entirely happy about having to start another one and go through the motions of waiting weeks to see if its worth it, all the while having to monitor all the potential side effects. I deal with enough shitty health issues as it is. Like, do I really need *more* nausea and fatigue in my life?

I've also read some concerning stuff about it causing manic episodes. I'm not 100% sure whether or not I've inherited my father's bipolar, and I'm not looking forward to potentially finding out this way

[noa-nightingale]

Btw I am at 3mg with my Escitalopram now! :3

It used to be 15mg but I am getting betterrrrrrrr and I don't need it anymore! Yay!

[transmutationisms]

wondering if u have any advice or resources for taking yourself off an ssri? in the vein of either tapering speed/preventing side effects or language to explain to my doctor that i’m no longer taking them once im off. i’ve been on it for 5 years if that matters and the doctor who prescribes it now isn’t a psych, just my primary care provider. also if that matters. ty either way! xx

when i did this i just googled how long to taper escitalopram and then the answer was a lie and i white knuckled through it anyway because i was spending way too much on alcohol to be also spending it on happy pills that didn't even work 💀 so not really lol. slower taper will pretty much always be gentler, buy a pill cutter if you need. also you literally don't have to tell your doctor anything ime like if you show up and are like "i already stopped taking them and i feel fine/normal/better" then they're not really going to care that much. with psych meds they'll push ssri's but not with anything near the degree of force that like 'antipsychotics' or mood stabilisers get

[deathlygristly]

So I've seen all sorts of discourse about That One Post going around. If you haven't seen it yet: a dude said he got into the alt-right because he saw weird people online being weird about dudes and it made him upset and the alt-right was like hey bro we got you. It was very much written in the style of someone who perhaps had not completely left the cult. It made everyone upset in all directions.

Most of the basic positions have shown up on my dash, and I've only unfollowed the people who get really mad about other people being like hey I see people being weird online all the time and it hasn't made me a fascist, and/or who get really demanding about how somehow we are all personally responsible for controlling the language of all the trolls in all the various leftish leaning cults online but trolls from rightish cults can say whatever they want and that their existence is our fault for not controlling the posts of every single leftish troll on the internet.

My biggest takeaway at the moment is that deradicalizing strangers online is not a job I can do. I guess it's the autism or maybe the growing up without ideology but I really don't get...well, any part of the discussion I've seen.

Like I texted the spousal person earlier about how neurotypical people talk about gender and how it makes me wonder if they're a different species from a different planet. What do clothes and hobbies and interests and emotions have to do with gender?

But then I am married to a guy in his 40s who happily and autistic special interest-ly watches Korean romcoms and who knew all the kpop girl group songs they were playing at the grocery store and who once said he doesn’t feel like he has a gender.

I don’t know, having really weird and esoteric rules about what you and other people can do and being vicious about enforcing those weird made up rules is just….alien to my life and experiences. Why would you care about what other people do if they’re not hurting other living beings?

I guess that’s the main thing. As far as I can remember, my brain has always thought, “Hurting others is wrong.” I don’t think I can recall ever thinking “I should hurt these others because a group of humans told me to.” Or needing to never encounter another human displaying common human behavior like being angry and hateful online in order to not become angry and hateful myself.

Also everyone is saying that it’s about feelings and group membership and that just stating facts won’t work, so that’s me out then. I don’t understand group membership at all and I really don’t understand choosing to believe things that aren’t true because of emotions. I don’t mean that in a rightish cult “Facts don’t care about your feelings” way. I mean it in a “My feelings desperately care about facts” way. In a “It took years and years of work plus an escitalopram prescription for me to not hate myself to death if I found out I had said or believed something that was false” way. In a “Perceiving the best approximation of reality that humans are currently capable of is a core moral tenet for me” way.

Don’t hurt other living beings and do your best to understand reality as clearly as possible are the rules my brain came up with in the absence of rules imposed from outside. Those rules feel like…Me. Like What I Am. I don’t think I can phrase things in words that will change the beliefs of people who are so different from me that I would need a universal translator to have any hope of communicating with them.

Like I’ve said before, all I can do is accept and not judge people for their pasts if I see sufficient evidence that they truly have changed and are doing things to repair the damage they did. Getting them to the point of doing that, as opposed to accepting them afterward…that’s not something I can do, no matter how much people scream angrily online and judge and shame others about it.

[the-beccaria-cage]

Dear internet community…

Heads up that if for whatever reason you need to wean off Lexapro (aka escitalopram oxylate, a common SSRI anti-anxiety med) …

Don’t do what I did.

I misunderstood my doctor (who is lovely, if a bit straightforward) and weaned off my meds entirely in the month between appointments.

You know what you’re NOT supposed to do with lexapro?! Wean off them as quickly as that.

“What are you supposed to do?!” I hear you ask…

Weaning off it supposed to take about 2-3 MONTHS. NOT WEEKS. MONTHS.

It has some pretty gnarly side effects as you come off. For me, I’ve now been dizzy for a month solid, and the random crying episodes can go to hell.

I’m 6/6 with this checklist 😅😅😅

[aspd-culture]

Hey, so my doc prescribed depakote and escitalopram for me in order to treat aspd and ocd. Did u ever take them ? Any past experiences, good or bad ?

Disclaimer: medication works different for every single person. I cannot know which response you will have to any medication. I am not a professional, nor do I know anything about your medical health specifically. Therefore, I firmly stress that any and all advice you take on medications either come from your doctor or at least be taken back to your doctor BEFORE you make any changes. Especially for psychiatric medications, it is imperitive to follow your doctor's instructions exactly.

If you disagree with your provider's decision and they won't help you change medications, continue using what you have been given unless you have a reaction that would warrant an urgent care or ER visit and find a different doctor. Your doctor should ALWAYS respect your legal right to refuse a certain medication as long as you are still willing to get some alternative treatment for symptoms that cause any risk to yourself/others.

If you need to go to the ER or urgent care, explain that you believe this is a reaction to your medication and ask for them to prescribe you an alternative and/or give you instructions on how to safely get off that medication. They'll be able to tell you if that is likely a side effect or not, and give you safe medical advice on getting off that med.

All of that said, I can give anecdotal information on this and it's good news!

I have been given Depakote in crisis (in the "danger to yourself" way) before. It definitely helped then, but for me, it only worked with the acute dose they'd give for crisis-level severe flares. For a lot of people, it works though! And the medication I'm on is similar - it's still an anti-epileptic, just a different one, so I can definitely see it helping. My family members just have a better reaction to the one I've been put on.

Escitalopram is one I have not personally used, but I have heard many other pwASPD specifically mention that as the only antidepressant that helped them. Whilst that doesn't in any way mean other ones won't work for you, it *does* mean there is a strong chance it will help!

My biggest piece of advice: Make sure to ask your doctor if your medications are time sensitive. Some, like birth control, are tempermental if not taken at the same time and may cause a reaction or intense flare if not taken at the same time. If your doctor says that isn't the case, but you seem to find anecdotally that it does for you, I'd advise prioritizing taken it at a set time anyway as it shouldn't hurt as long as you're taking it as instructed.

Plain text below the cut:

Disclaimer: medication works different for every single person. I cannot know which response you will have to any medication. I am not a professional, nor do I know anything about your medical health specifically. Therefore, I firmly stress that any and all advice you take on medications either come from your doctor or at least be taken back to your doctor BEFORE you make any changes. Especially for psychiatric medications, it is imperitive to follow your doctor's instructions exactly.

If you disagree with your provider's decision and they won't help you change medications, continue using what you have been given unless you have a reaction that would warrant an urgent care or ER visit and find a different doctor. Your doctor should ALWAYS respect your legal right to refuse a certain medication as long as you are still willing to get some alternative treatment for symptoms that cause any risk to yourself/others.

If you need to go to the ER or urgent care, explain that you believe this is a reaction to your medication and ask for them to prescribe you an alternative and/or give you instructions on how to safely get off that medication. They'll be able to tell you if that is likely a side effect or not, and give you safe medical advice on getting off that med.

All of that said, I can give anecdotal information on this and it's good news!

I have been given Depakote in crisis (in the "danger to yourself" way) before. It definitely helped then, but for me, it only worked with the acute dose they'd give for crisis-level severe flares. For a lot of people, it works though! And the medication I'm on is similar - it's still an anti-epileptic, just a different one, so I can definitely see it helping. My family members just have a better reaction to the one I've been put on.

Escitalopram is one I have not personally used, but I have heard many other pwASPD specifically mention that as the only antidepressant that helped them. Whilst that doesn't in any way mean other ones won't work for you, it *does* mean there is a strong chance it will help!

My biggest piece of advice: Make sure to ask your doctor if your medications are time sensitive. Some, like birth control, are tempermental if not taken at the same time and may cause a reaction or intense flare if not taken at the same time. If your doctor says that isn't the case, but you seem to find anecdotally that it does for you, I'd advise prioritizing taken it at a set time anyway as it shouldn't hurt as long as you're taking it as instructed.