#and I might NEVER HEAR IT AGAIN FUCK
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re : how each brother reacts learning that they can't go back
you'll have to pry the "all the Brozone Bros knew what happened at the tree" headcanon outta my cold, dead dead dead hands.
#sandflakedrew#trolls clay#trolls john dory#trolls floyd#trolls bruce#on today's docket : brozone angst#added in order of who i think found out first to last#listen#listen listen listen#they Knew!!!#JD for obvious reasons#Clay from Viva#Bruce isn't taken aback hearing Viva's story either. He's heard before#the combo of Floyd's 'never thought i'd see any of my brothers ever again' & 'is it really you?' hits a similar note for me#They! Knew!#clears throat. anyways#me to me : okay but wouldn't it be a little bit /more/ fucked up if JD didn't /let/ himself be fully gray? wouldn't that be worse?#the idea of someone forcefully sucking that shit back in?#terrible.#awful.#perfect for JD#perfect perfect perfect one might even say#same kinda deal with bruce.#what if you heard the news and felt compelled to try and live for more people than yourself. in order for your current peace to be fair#what then#i have more thoughts but this is enough tags as is#trolls#dreamworks trolls
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if u start a sentence saying “omg I love 13” I’ll love u forever and you’ll be my bestie. That’s a no-brainer.
But if u keep going saying a “but” you really lost me. Like sh sh sh I don’t care about your buts your opinions about that doesn’t matter here.
#if I ever hear a but again after saying I love 13 I’ll fucking end it#No I don’t care if u have the same opinion as the internet#go with your life#you like her good#you don’t well that’s too bad#find me a criticism that was never said before and I might actually listen to u#nothing about Thasmin or chibnall or Jodie or sacha or or or#i heard everything#your opinion about that don’t matter here#IN A BLOG WITH A 13 PFP#thank u#doctor who#dr who#sasa rambles#13th doctor#thirteenth doctor#jodie whittaker
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Sorry for the lack of posts, have some more headcanons!!
#MYYY self indulgent V headcanon number 234 is that shes a huge fucking dork#i.e she was a huge bookworm as a worker#well she was a dork in general#reading. painting. dancing. all of it#but alot of that. was kinda things she had to leave with the rest of her. when she became a Disassembly Drone.#And while alot of her died in the manor. she still kept some things close.#and one of those things is reading!!!#she cringes at like 90% of what she used to read but still goes out of her way to reread the copies she finds or is given#N usually gives her copies#She acts like she hates it but still reads them alone anyway#theres a reason she has bad eyesight and its because she reads with the book 3 inches from her face in the dark#also Uzi probably makes her read Twilight at some point and laughs the entire time (they both hate it. Uzi just likes messing w/ her)#anyway i just like the idea that in a world where V is finally allowed to start her life again#she looks for the things she loved that she had to leave behind#and finds new joy in them as who she is now#she might not be that little worker anymore#but shes still the girl who loved to curl up in the library when no one would notice. reading any book she could get her hands on.#idk i just like the idea that V deep down is still just a girl who wants to have fun.#i just want her to be HAPPY#anyway do you guys wanna hear why Chappell Roan's “Pink Pony Club” is so V code- (i fall down the stage stairs)#murder drones#serial designation v#serial designation n#uzi doorman#also for context ive never read Pride and Prejudice despite meaning to#its just one of the only actual romance books i know off the top of my head#imean no offense to it. I just like joking abt V reading romance sdkfjkldsjf
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i feel like im not making any sense but does anyone else feel like there are stories that let u run with them and ones that spell everything out for you
#im reading that post that says artists are directors of audience reaction and not its dictator:#'you cannot guarantee that everyone viewing your work will react as you are trying t make them react. a good artist knows that this is what#allows work to breath. by definition you cannot have art where the viewer brings nothing to the table ... this is why you have to let go of#the urge to plainly state in text exactly how you think the work should be interpreted ... its better to be misinterpreted sometimes than#to talk down to your audience. you wont even gain any control that way; people will still develop their opinions no matter what you do#im thinking abt this again cuz i was thinking maybe the thing that lets adventure time work so well the way it does is cuz it doesnt#take itself too seriously that it gives the audience enough room to fuck with subtext and then fuck with them back yknow. i think it was#mentioned somewhere that they werent even planning to run with the postapocalyptic elements that are hinted in the show but changed their#mind after the one off with the frozen businessmen and dominoed into marcy and simons backstory. on the other side there are stories that#explain too much to let the story speak for itself and i think it ends up having to do more with the crew trying to lead ppl in a certain#direction than expand on what they have and i see a lot of this with miraculous. like when interviews and tweets are used as word of god in#arguments and it becomes a little stifling to play around with it knowing the creator can just interject. u can say its the crews effort to#engage with its audience but it feels more like micromanaging. and none of this is to say there ISNT room for stories that spell things out#theyre just suited for different things. if sesame street tried abstract approaches to themes and nuance itd be counterproductive#a lot of things fly over my head so i need help picking things apart to get it- but it doesnt have to be from the story itself. ive picked#picked up or built on my own interpretations listening to other ppl share their thoughts which creates conversation around the same thing#sometimes stories will spell things out for you without being so obvious abt it that it feels like its woven into the text. my fav example#for this might be ATLA using younger characters as its main cast but instead of feeling like its dumbed down for kids to understand why war#is bad its framed from a childs point of view so younger audiences can pick up on it by relating to the characters. maybe an 8 year old#wont get how geopolitics works but at least they get 'hey the world is a little more complicated than everyone vs. fire nation'. same for#steven universe bc its like theyre trying to describe and put feelings into words that kids might not have so they have smth to start with#especially with the metaphors around relationships bc even if it looks unfamiliar as a kid now maybe the hope is for it to be smth you can#look back to. thats why it feels like these shows grew up with me.. instead of saving difficult topics for 'when im ready for it'#as if its preparing me for high school it gave me smth to turn in my hands and revisit again and again as i grow. stories that never#treated u as dumb all along. just someone who could learn and come back to it as many times as u need to. i loved SU for the longest time#but i felt guilty for enjoying it hearing the way ppl bash it. bc i was a kid and thought other ppl understood it better than me and made#feel bad for leaning into the message of paying forward kindness and not questioning why steven didnt punish the diamonds or hold them#accountable. but im rewatching it now and going oh. i still love this show and what it was trying to teach me#yapping#diary
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They called me goofy...
:'D
well i'm pretty sure they won't do it again!
> follow up of this
#i traced the swords from a render sorry! don't have time to spend going all out on a gag 😂#and just in case i've set a precedent here by doing art twice:#i probably won't be able to respond to more of these like this but i did this one as a warmup today!#they might also have been calling another one (which i posted temporarily and deleted so you might not have seen) goofy#which was like this:#“what if morpho knight and the funny waddle dee were friends instead……. pwuldn’t that be so fucked up……………..”#but who can say! i guess we'll never know because it seems we won't hear from 'em again. rip. at least morpho sword is fast.#you know what. i'll tag it so i can find it later:#morpho#morpho knight#my sketches#asks
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I'm really genuinely so confused as to why I keep getting asks from people telling me that they hope Tommy dumps or even kills Lucy and ends up with Lizzie instead. I've gotten multiple variations at this point of "Lucy deserves to be raped/killed/otherwise hurt because how dare she get in the way of Tommy and Lizzie's happiness." I've just been deleting and ignoring them, but it's gotten to the point where there've been so many that I legitimately do not understand what is happening or what I did to cause this kind of reaction.
Like, I get it. A lot of you love Lizzie and ship her with Tommy. I have never had any problem with that. But if that's the type of story you're after, GO READ SOME FUCKING LIZZIE X TOMMY FICS AND LEAVE ME ALONE.
This series has never been marked as a Lizzie x Tommy story. I'm so confused as to why so many seem to expect that relationship to be the endgame of the series, and not the one that the series is actually tagged with and written around. I'm really starting to question my own writing abilities at this point. Has my depiction of Tommy and Lucy's relationship actually been that off-putting? Is Lucy really that unlikable that everyone hopes she ends up alone and miserable for the rest of her life, or even fucking dead?
I just don't understand. Someone please explain it to me.
#might delete this later idk i'm just tired and frustrated and ranting right now because what the fuck#as a side note i don't EVER want to hear anything about lizzie fans being nicer/better than grace ones ever again#i've gotten hate and harassment from both at this point and i can say that each camp is truly AWFUL in their own right#though at least grace fans have never openly told me that they hope my oc gets violently raped and murdered#so they've got that going for them for now i guess#i always figured lucy wasn't really all that well liked and that this storyline would be controversial#but damn i never could have expected this kind of reaction#and no before some of you get all bent out of shape i'm obviously not talking about all lizzie and grace fans#you know the type of fans i'm talking about#lily babbles
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Part 2 is 21 pages. Part 1 was 16 pages. Combine that together and that's a 37 page request I pumped out in a day.
oops.
Warning: NSFW, Strong-Language, Dirty Talk, Slight Praise Kink, a bit of jealous behavior, mention of character death, bug violence(?), bit of PTSD
Pairing: Gunslinger!Kyle x Fem!Reader
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When you finally woke up, the first thing that came to your mind was just how dry your mouth felt. You swallow roughly and it burns the back of your throat in a different way the alcohol of last night did. It felt like you were trying to swallow steel wool, forcing what little saliva pooled in your mouth down your throat.
The second thing was the fact the horse had gone back to a slow trot. No longer could you hear hooves on cobblestone. The wind was no longer whipping around your head and through your hair. The smell of the city long gone, now replaced with a deep earthy scent.
The third was the feeling of Kyle's arms still wrapped around you, one pulls away from your side for a moment. You feel him move around, trying to rub the sleep out of his eyes. He presses his fingers into his heavy eyelids before returning them to the reigns.
Finally, all three things fall into place as you piece it all together. Kyle feels the way your body bolts up away from his chest and brings his horse to a stop. He pulls her off to the crummy dirt road and off to the side.
"Oh! I apologize! I didn't mean to fall asleep like that! I can't believe I just passed out!" Panic sets into your voice and guilt eats at you when you realize he probably rode all through the night.
"It's fine ma'am. I figured you could use the rest. Please don't take any offense or nothin' but you look like you ain't seen much shut eye." Kyle smiles at you holding his hand up to try and settle you.
"I-.... you’d be right. Still, that's no excuse. You're still a stranger, the fact that I just fell asleep like that..."
"A stranger you shot a man for. A stranger you saved from gettin' strangled to death. I never did get to thank you for that." He pauses for a moment as he gets down from the horse. Kyle takes the reigns with him, choosing to walk along aside the horse now. "I've only had a few people in my time willin' to do somethin' like that for me and I at least know their names."
It hits you like a brick. In less than twenty-four hours you got into your first ever bar fight, shot a shotgun, slugged a man with said shotgun, all but bribed the sheriff, ran off with a man who didn't even know your name, and then fell asleep on said man who didn't even know your name. You catch yourself staring down at the handsome gunslinger, breaking yourself out of the daze trance like stare. It was hard not to admire him; looks aside he's been nothing but a delight to you. It would have been all too easy for him to just dump you off somewhere, leaving you and your problems behind.
Instead, here he was. Walking alongside you and his horse, without even so much as asking you about your business. Why you wanted to go out West, or why you needed to hire him in the first place. You hadn't even told him how much you were paying him for all of this.
"Ma'am?" Oh, right, your name.
"I'm being all types of rude, aren't I? I'm sorry..."
"Ain't nothin' to apologize for. I figured you got a reason for keepin' secrets. If you don't wanna tell me, I ain't gonna make ya." He shrugs.
It takes you a minute to gather your thoughts, but when you do you finally gain the courage to ask him. "Why are you being so accepting about all of this? Shouldn't you be surprised or at the very least upset?"
"The way I see it, you saved my skin back there twice. Once with Knucklehead and the other with the Sheriff." He says sheriff with a sneer, "I owe you. Besides the way you begged the sheriff to let us go, I could tell you were in some kind of trouble. Wouldn't be right of me to turn my back on someone who needed help."
"So, what, you're just doing this out of obligation and the kindness of your heart?"
That makes him laugh again, but he quickly shakes his head. "Guess you could put it like that. Walk the righteous path and clear all debts sort of ordeal. But I don't think it goes that deep. Like I told the bartender last night, I'm just a simple fella tryin' to make a livin'."
You sit on his horse in awe, if this was an act he was putting on it was a damn fine one. You run your fingers through the horse’s mane, brushing out the sand and dirt on the poor creature who must be so tired. She huffs a little, but she doesn't move her head, so you continue.
After a few moments of walking and silence, you tell him your name. Your full name.
Every time you speak, he gives you his full attention, looking up at you with that gentle smile. You expect his eyes to widen like everyone else's when you drop your last name, your family was famous after all. Instead, he nods along and practices the sound of your name on his tongue.
He says it again and hearing it whispered in that voice of his sounds divine. Once he likes the way it feels and sits, he turns back to the road and keeps walking.
"Pretty name...like the way it sounds. I hate the fact that I ain't gonna get to use it much." His lips purse, talking like he's just mumbling to himself.
"What do you mean?"
"Well, it wouldn't be real wise to be usin' your name if you're tryin' to go into hidin'. Even if we are on the road alone, I don't wanna take any chances. If I get in the habit of usin' your name, I ain't gonna wanna stop." He brings the rim of his hat down over his eyes trying to hide the blush on his face. Even though he says it with such confidence it's hard to look you in the eye.
He's not alone, his words have a greater effect on you than he knows. You pull the cloak still wrapped around your body closer to your form, burying your face in the material. Maybe you could just rub your flushed face away or at the very least it would buy you time to slow your heartbeat down.
Kyle was right about one thing. Your last name has brought you nothing but trouble your whole life. So, for now you'd get rid of it, toss it to the side like the various newspapers you saw littering the city streets. Let it drift away and be carried by the Eastern winds. It was time to leave the city girl you were raised to be behind; you were going out West now.
"The only thing I can't seem to wrap my head around." Kyle breaks the silence between you two again. "Is how someone like you learned to shoot like that."
"How do you mean? It doesn't take much to point a gun at someone and pull the trigger, can't really miss with a shotgun when you're that close."
"That's what I'm askin'. It don't take much to pull a trigger, but you knew how to hold it. Held her like you knew her."
"How'd a lawyers boy go from that to being a bounty hunter?" You ask, bringing up the little fact that Sheriff Cartman spat at him last night.
His lips press together in a thin line and for a moment you feel like you might have crossed a line. Said something you shouldn't have, but when his shoulders slump forward you can feel something different. It's not anger in his eyes, maybe regret? Hurt that rests behind those tired green eyes.
"I don't know why I'm tellin' you this. But we're gonna be together for a while, might as well make conversation I suppose." Again, he talks like he's not really talking to you. His inner thoughts spilling from his mouth like brandy in a bottle. "It was bandits."
Your blood runs cold, that could mean anything but, in this context, you had a feeling it wasn't a good one. Your fingers brush down the coat of the horse as he talks, finding comfort in the animal. You can feel the warm and gentle breathing coming from her. If you squint, you could almost swear they had lined up their breathes. She would take in an inhale, and he would let out a puff of air.
"Pa was a lawyer, Ma was a stay-at-home mama. He made enough for all of us and another. I have a baby brother they adopted when I was younger." He goes to tell his story with a little pause in between.
"You said have. He still around?" That question hurts to ask, but curiosity was gnawing at you. You wanted to know more about this gunslinger, that included the bad too.
"Yeah. I think it was when I was fifteen? Pa was puttin' me through school, was studyin' to be like him. I was gonna put away bad people just like him." He takes his hat off with his free hand, he stares down at the inside of the hat. You catch a glimpse of stiches and patchy line work. Past the scuff marks and tears on the old thing it looks like someone tried to patch it back together again. Enough to where it would hold up. But past that there was a little black and white picture tucked in the makeshift pocket of one of the patches.
A skinny man, honestly looked like a strong gust of wind could blow him away, standing next to the most gorgeous looking woman you've ever seen. Her hair was put up in a tight bun, curves on every ounce of her that made her look like something out of those fancy paintings. The dress she wore clung to her body and on her lap was a little boy. Black hair that didn't match the shade of grey on either of the adults behind him. He had a big toothy grin on his face as he held an outstretched hand for the other boy beside him.
It was Kyle. Much younger than he is now, hopeful looking face with his hair cut short and kept clean. The curls sat neatly on the top of his head, and he dressed like some of the men your father did business with. Fine button up grey shirt tucked into a pair of black slacks. A grey tie came down from his collar that disappeared behind a black vest. Still had that soft smile on his face as he looked at the camera.
He quickly puts the hat back on feeling your eyes peering down behind him. Again, you felt like you got a peek into something you shouldn't have seen. If he was bothered you couldn't tell, he just kept talking.
"Pa was always real good at that, puttin' bad people away. Could do it the civilized way, take him down and give 'em a trial. Rely on the system to put 'em behind bars and supposably reform 'em." He scoffs at that statement, "lotta good all that did. Pa put away the wrong man. Some no name bandit leader thinkin' he could take the short way through life and rob some rich folk."
Kyle stops, completely. Stops the horse, stops talking and just stares down at the ground below. You watch a little red scorpion scurry after its dinner. Stinger pulled back and at the ready.
"Men like that got one thing goin' for 'em. They travel in numbers. Numbers that don't like when you mess with their own. Pa wasn't even the man that brought that bandit leader in, but he was the reason why he'd never walk under the sun again. They were gonna keep that no named man locked away in the deepest parts of their holdin' cells. His men didn't like that idea much."
The scorpion chases the target down until they come to a ledge. Something that would be so easy for you to just step over, something that would barely be an obstacle in your way. But for the tiny bug that was fleeing for its life, it was the end of the road. It wasn't dexterous enough to try and make it over the little ledge, the path to freedom taunting it as it falls on its back.
"Don't really know what they were thinkin' or how they came to the conclusion. But they decided in the dead of night they'd...burn down the town? Came in on horseback makin' all types of racket. I remember Ma pushing my brother in my hands an' tellin' me to run out to where we kept the stagecoach. Somethin'-" He chokes and clears his throat to collect himself. "Somethin' about the horses already hitched and ready. To just jump on and wait for her and Pa."
The scorpion closes in on the bug. His stinger blocking the view of the sun, casting the shadow of death over the poor thing.
"I protested, wanted to stay and help her pack bags. Carry somethin' other than my cryin' brother." His hands clutch the sarape around his body, right where his heart would be. "She told me not to argue with her and to get my ass outside. Never heard her curse before..."
The bug kicks its little legs, trying to roll off its back. It squirms, fights, and rocks trying to do anything. Anything but die.
"I did what she told me. Go where she told me. You don't question your mama when she tells you to do somethin' ya know?" He licks his lips, and you wonder if they're as dry as yours are right now. "I put my brother and I in the carriage and I wait for 'em. Then...the house just...erupts. One of those sons of bitches threw somethin' against the side of the house and it catches a blaze."
Kyle closes his eyes, a bead of sweat drips down his face. Like he can still feel the roaring flames against his face. The poor man is standing there reliving it all.
The scorpion finally brings its stinger down. Strikes the pathetic creature in the stomach one good time. The venom does its job, you're sure if the little thing could scream out it would. Instead, it just goes slack, goes limp and dies.
"I... I didn't know what to do. I had just learned to drive the damn thing, so I grabbed the reigns and snapped it. If it wasn't for my brother, I probably would've run into that blazing hell. Probably be a dead man too."
"Probably." Your voice finally pipes up. Kyle looks up at you and you're not giving him the look of pity others have when he tells this tale. Your face is softened sure but there's nothing in those eyes that tell him you're looking down at him.
"That's the last time I saw 'em. Last time I said good night...I only wished I woulda got to say I love you."
The scorpion closes in on its meal. Now that it's not trying to run it figures it can eat in peace. Pinchers at the ready to pick the corpse up.
"I didn't. Spent a lotta time wishin', and a lotta time gettin' good with a gun. Pa taught me there were other ways to take a man down, not everythin' had to be solved with violence. We could do it humane like instead of usin' a gun. Just a shame I turned out to be a damn good shot."
Kyle starts walking again, and as he does, he walks over the scorpion. Crushing the creature under his heel without a second thought. You watch as when he moves his heel the thing lays there with the sand already started to claim it's body. You wonder if it got to at least get a bite of what it worked so hard for.
"So that's how you started bounty hunting?"
"Yep. Started with the assholes that took my parents from me and my brother. Guess they're the only people I never brought in alive."
"Really?!" That was a part of the man you didn't learn from rumors.
"I'm flattered you seem to think I had the ability to bring in fifteen men all by my lonesome, but no. I gave 'em the same treatment they gave my parents." Most men would be proud of that, say it with their chests out. Kyle doesn't, he keeps his eyes on the road and his head down.
"You burned them?"
"Set their whole lil' hideout on fire. Got a bottle of whiskey, drank some of it for courage and then tucked a cloth in the rest of it. Lit the sucker on fire and tossed it."
You try not to imagine the sounds that fifteen men on fire would make, or the fact that not even one of them got away. Kyle was a lucky man that there weren't a few to make it out of that fire that night. Who knows what would have happened if he was caught or worse, they lived to enact revenge like Kyle had.
"Took my brother to an old friend’s ranch and we stayed there for a while. You ever hear of the Marsh family?"
"Sure. They're famous ranchers, good at breakin' in horses and growin' crops."
"Their son is my best friend. I call that man my brother. Call him that until I take my final breath." A smile finally comes back to his face, talking about someone that means so much to him seems to put him at ease.
"Why'd ya leave?" You ask, letting a smile come across your face at the sight of his.
"Didn't feel right just sittin' around. Plus, if word got out that I was stayin' in one place I figured it'd just bring trouble. My brother didn't do nothin' so I asked if I could leave him there. Been out on the road ever since, I send him letters from time to time but it ain't easy gettin' 'em out to me so I just assume he's alright."
"You should visit your brother...I'm sure he misses you." You tell him. It almost breaks your heart the way his smile doesn't reach his eyes.
"With the reputation I built up, I'd only be bringin' danger to his doorstep. I couldn't do that to him or Stan." That must be his friend he mentioned, you note. "I take what I earn from bounty hunting and send it their way. Just because I chose to throw away the life our Pa had set out for me, doesn't mean he's gotta. Every nickel and dime I get goes to keepin' me goin' and buildin' a better life for him."
Your heart swells, swells with admiration and pain. It hurts to see a man who so clearly loves his family have to keep himself away from what little he has left of it. Who has to distance himself from the two people he'd call brother. Neither really blood related to him but they might as well be. You can't help but admire him, how he tries to carry all that responsibility on his back. You thought the tired look in his eye was just from staying up all night and riding into the morning.
"Kyle, that's incredibly brave of you. Putting yourself out there for your brother, if it means anything...I don't think you're throwing your life away." You find that courage you somehow mustered up last night and put your hand over his, the one that still has the reigns. He looks up at you, watching as the sun sits behind your head like a halo. You bend down a bit and get closer to him, whispering as if someone was listening in. "I think what you're doing is the most noble thing I've ever heard. You're the kind of man they talk about in story books...if I didn't believe in you before I do now. Thank you."
"For....for what?" He asks and swallows, his adams apple bobs. For the first time in a long time, he can't seem to find his voice, it drops to a low whisper.
But could anyone blame him? The way you look at him so gently, every little blink of your eyelashes has him sinking deeper and deeper into the color of your eyes. That golden sun behind you makes you look like an angel, and maybe you are one. As far as Kyle is concerned only an angel could look at him like that. Find a way to admire him and sing his praise after being told he set fifteen men to hell in a blaze of hate.
"For being you. I used to not think there were good men out there, but you're changing that." You say it like it's the simplest thing on earth. Like he should have just known the answer to that.
But when you say it, it's like being punched in the chest. You have your hands so tightly wrapped around his heart he's sure if you say anything else he's going to keel over. He lets himself have this moment, lets a breath escape his chest and holds onto each little word you said.
"Ma'am, you ain't got a clue as to what you're sayin'. You don't know me well enough to be passin' judgement like that."
"Hm. Good thing I'm a real good judge of character. A man as bad as you claim to be would've robbed me blind especially if he knew for a fact, I was carrying enough money on me to buy your friends ranch."
His eyes widen at that, he stares at you as if you just told him the sky was red and the rapture was coming. Kyle's respone catches in his throat, unable to say anything at that. You can't help but laugh at that, the sweet sound coming from your lips makes his knees weak.
You toss him the stained white bag of cash, the once pure white cloth now soiled by the desert sands. Dirt clings to it but that doesn't stop him from catching it and opening it up. True to your word, there was so much cash in here Kyle could probably beat a man to death with it.
"You walked into that damn saloon with this?!" Kyle yelled quickly, closing the bag.
"I risked a lot on trying to find you." You say with a little shrug. "Sold everything I owned, took what I could carry and set out to hire you."
"You're either crazy or desperate. Please, for the love of God don't take offense to this."
You laugh again and shake your head; you couldn't argue with him. He was right. Maybe you were both, but it was either this or get unlucky one day and go missing. You'd take your chances with the handsome man next to you. At least he wasn't a stranger much anymore.
"I just got tired of the life I was living. Heard there was good opportunity out West. Figured I could settle in Texas or...Colorado?"
"Colorado?! Ma'am if this is some elaborate plot to give me a heart attack just to take me out, you're doin' a damn fine job." He clutches the bag into his chest and takes a deep breath. Quickly he stuffs the bag into the saddle bag on his horse. She stirs a little and shakes her head letting him know that her patience is running thin.
"So, you're suggesting Texas?"
"It's better than fuckin' God damn Colorado!" The way Kyle's cursing picks up when he's stressed is kind of adorable.
Laughter echoes down the road all the way out of the state. You finally find yourself off the East coast for the first time in your life. The company you keep makes it all the better! Eventually you stop at the nearest town and purchase your own horse. You have to slow down a little because Kyle has to all but teach you how to mount her and how to keep her from freaking out. He's calm and patient with you the entire time, only laughing at you a few times when you forget to buckle the saddle completely and almost slide right off. He teaches you how to take care of her and you end up spending most nights swapping stories by campfires.
You're somewhere deep in the state of Missouri, where exactly you're not sure that's Kyle's job. The night sky hangs above your heads with the stars staring down at you. Each little twinkle makes you think they're winking down at you. Kyle's told you that a few of the stars have names and stories behind them, you let him ramble on about it for hours before informing him that you already knew all that. The look on his face alone was enough to make you laugh.
You must have laughed again because Kyle's looking up from the worn-out map up at you now. He has a lazy smirk, the corners of his lips hidden behind the scruff on his face that's starting to grow in. His hair just now starting to go back to when you first met him, he's shaved it off a few times since your journey much to your dismay. You complained for days when he first did it only to be met with an eye roll.
That was something you always noted, that whenever you would complement Kyle's appearance, he'd brush you off or find a way to deflect. Telling you that you were the pretty one or that you were just seeing things because you weren't drinking enough water. The heat was getting to you, and you needed to take some time by the shade.
But he really was a handsome man, the rugged look didn't really line up with his personality but damn if it didn't do something to you. Being next to the man for so long, having made the first real connection with another person for the first time in your life. Well, it was getting harder and harder not to see him in a different light.
Especially since every moment leading up to this point, Kyle would do everything in his power to protect you. Putting himself in harm’s way time and time again just to make sure you'd be safe. Bandits thinking the both of you were easy picking, Kyle's reputation didn't reach every corner of the country. And the few times it did, it only encouraged people like Knucklehead to try and take a shot at bringing him down. There were a few times people recognized you. Someone had put out missing wanted posters with your face plastered all over them.
Of course, when danger came rearing its ugly head, Kyle would be there by your side. At first it was a lot of him taking shots for you, you patching him up. Using those studies your parents provided, removing bullets, and cleaning the wound left behind wasn't exactly what you had studied but eventually you got the hang of it. Each time you'd scold him to be more careful, he'd argue that catching bullets with his body wasn't something he liked doing. And each time just as you'd finish bandaging him back up, he'd give you a look that had your heart fluttering. His eyelids would lower down, and his lips would part in just a way that made them look so kissable. But every time you'd think you got the courage to just do it, he'd pull away and wish you a good night. Disappearing in his tent as if he wasn't just staring at you thinking the same thing.
Little did you know he was thinking the same thing. Countless nights he'd stay awake at night, tossing and turning in his bedroll trying to get the image of you so close out of his head. It had been a long time since Kyle felt this close with anyone, much less got to share the road with another person. Those little moments where you'd brush your fingers over his exposed skin or when you'd wake up nice and early to make sure he got something in his stomach before riding off. It made it harder and harder to want to not make you, his woman. To not take you up in his arms and take you into his tent for the night.
But that's not why you hired him. Once he got you to Colorado, he'd drop you off, probably stick around long enough to make sure you were settled, and then be on his way. Leaving you in that state all by yourself and he'd return to wherever the road took him. That thought filled him with an indescribable loneliness, one he tried to keep out of his head. He tried to focus on how good he felt just being near you, savoring the moments he got with you now.
Like how pretty you looked when you sat next to the fire, back against a log that he dragged over to make it a little more comfortable. A book resting in your lap and a page between your fingers, some novel you both picked up and swapped back and forth. How every time you looked over at him thinking you could steal a few glances without him noticing, only to be caught in the act. Ever since he met you back at the bar you would avert your eyes from him and try to find something else to look at or pretend that you were looking past him. He found it so cute.
"Somethin' funny darlin'?" You don't know when he started calling you that, can't recall but every single time it makes your heart leap.
"Just thinking about that time, you were telling me about the stars. How I'm gonna miss this..." You say with a little shrug and smile, reaching down next to you to grab the bottle of wine.
"You'll still be able to see 'em in Colorado. In fact, I hear they're mighty pretty over the desert." He says watching you take a drink from the bottle.
"It's not the same." You wipe your mouth with the sleeve of your blouse, the red liquid staining the shirt. "It's not the same if you don't have someone to share it with."
It's Kyle's turn to blush a little, he gives you a little hum and a nod like he understands. There's a moment where he thinks his heart stops, but it thumps against his chest, and he finds it in him to speak up. "You always know just what to say to make a man flustered huh?"
"Since when have I talked to other men like this?" You ask scooting a little closer to him, that night wind pushing you a little closer to his warmth.
"I don't quite recall..." He mumbles meeting you halfway.
Kyle helps close the gap between the both of you until your thighs are touching. The material of his jeans brush against your legs, exposed because of the skirt clips holding your skirt to where they just cover your thighs.
"Think it would work on another man?" Your voice drops to a whisper.
His brows furrow at that and his face twists into a scowl. You watch the way his eyes narrow and darken a little. He huffs and you can smell the scent of coffee on his breath. Kyle doesn't say anything, instead he goes for the wine bottle in your hand. The man takes a swig of it, trying to hide the jealous feeling that's starting to creep up on him.
"Reckon it would... if you had the backbone to be talkin' to other men."
"What's that supposed to mean?" It's your turn to furrow your brows at him, they knit together.
"Just sayin' you ain't exactly a smooth talker with everyone you come across. I seem to remember a certain run in with that snake oil salesman that was tryin' to get you to agree to go on a lil' date with him." He taps the bottle against his lips a few times before taking another drink.
You take the bottle from him, crawling over his lap to reach the darn thing. You press your palm into his thigh and suddenly he's very aware of just how close you are to him. Kyle isn't sure if you're doing on purpose but either way it makes his dick twitch against the fabric of his pants.
He doesn't give you time to protest as he moves the bottle out of reach, holding it back just as you brush your fingertips against the cool glass. "No, I think I remember you fumblin' over your words and I had to come over and tell the fella you weren't interested."
Damn him. Damn that handsome red head for calling you out and looking so cocky while doing it. His smirk returns as he cocks his head down at you, the way his lips glisten against the campfire almost has you distracted. Almost.
But you wanted your wine, so you take another lunge for it. Pressing your body into him to try and climb over and snatch it back. His hand comes down to your waist, keeping you in place.
"Ah! No ma'am, I think someone's had enough. All that talk about flirtin' with other men ain't much like you. Think this is messin' with your head." He tuts and shifts you in his lap. He's hoping you don't feel the effect you're having on him.
"You know what I think Broflovski? I think you're jealous!" You challenge crossing your arms under your chest.
"That so? That what you think darlin'?"
"Why else would you be acting like this? You're acting like a damn child! Now give me my bottle, I'm a grown woman I can drink as much as I wanna!"
He laughs at that. Laughs right at your protests and the way you're pouting in his lap. It makes your face burn up, it makes you wanna hit him, makes you wanna kiss him until he shuts up.
"You're real cute when you get fussy you know that?" Kyle lets the compliment slip out of his mouth before he has time to think about it.
He knows better. He knows he shouldn't be flirting with you, shouldn't get attached. But that ship has long since sailed, he's been infatuated with you since the day you told him he was a good man. But fuck if it isn't getting harder and harder, especially with you sitting so pretty on his lap.
"Kyle Broflovski! If you don't start acting right!" You know the blush on your face doesn't help, the scolding falls on deaf ears.
"I ain't the one crawlin' into a man's lap for a bottle of cheap wine." He sets the bottle down beside him off into the dark where it no longer matters. That hand finds home on your waist, rolling his thumbs over the material of your skirt.
You suck in a breath and sit up on your knees, pushing them to rest on either side of him. "You're not just another man...that what you want me to tell you?"
"Can't say I wouldn't like it." Kyle's voice dips low, gravely and makes a shiver zip down your spine.
"If you don't want me flirting with other men..., why are you waiting so long to kiss me?"
"Oh darlin'," He growls and squeezes the back of your thighs, rough hands sliding up your skirt. "I want nothin' more but...you and I both know I can't."
"No, I don't think I do. Enlighten me." You're not letting him get away this time, there would be no running off to his tent to avoid this. You had him wrapped around your little finger, even if your heart felt like it was about to explode.
" 'Cause if I start kissin' you. I'm gonna keep doin' it..." He gets closer, sitting up to his full height just to graze his lips over yours. "Keep kissin' ya 'til I ain't go breath in my lungs left. Then I'll wanna take you in my arms jus' like this." He gives you a little squeeze pressing his chest further against yours. "I wouldn't be able to stop myself from makin' those sweet lil' noises come out of your mouth. Wouldn't wanna stop either."
Your breath hitches and you let out a soft little moan. You card your fingers through his hair, his hat was put away somewhere in his tent, so it left those gorgeous red curls unguarded. He groans and inadvertently bucks his hips up into you, the rough feeling of his jeans grinding up against your underwear.
"Fuck and if you ain't makin' it difficult. Talkin' like that makes me think you planned to get me all worked up. You ain't stupid, just about the smartest woman I've ever met in my life." He continues grinding his hips into you, rolling you over his growing erection. Kyle groans and doesn't even bother trying to stop the sounds coming out of his mouth.
"K-Kyle just kiss me already!" You whimper in his lap.
And he snaps, whatever wall he built up to resist you comes tumbling down. Just the way you say his name has him tossing all logic out the window. He grabs the back of your neck and pulls your face down towards him, crashing your lips onto his. His teeth almost knock into yours from how desperately he needs this, how much he needs you. It's like being able to stretch your legs after riding for days, or a cool drink of water after being under that blazing sun for too long.
That crackling fire that keeps your little camp sight illuminated doesn't give off nearly the amount of heat Kyle's kiss does. His chapped lips move against yours, somehow despite being on the road for so long they're still so soft. It takes a second for your brain to register that he's finally kissing you, after so long he's finally doing it. Before he can pull back, you press back into the kiss. Hands coming down from his hair to cup his jaw like it'll anchor you from floating away.
He kisses you again and again, each kiss turning more passionate. He goes from a desperate kiss to kissing you like a starved man. His tongue slips out and swipes against your bottom lip, when you don't open your mouth, he growls and pulls you down, so you're now firmly sat in his lap. The action makes you gasp, and he slips his tongue into your mouth, more than excited to explore the inside of your mouth until he finds your tongue. You poke back nervously and chase after the pink muscle. Finally, your tongues twine together, wrapped up in some kind of dance.
He kisses you until your lungs burn, desperate for air. In this silent little battle to see who would break first, it's you. You pull away from him and take in a large gasp. The lack of air and how heated the kiss was makes your head spin. Just as you collect yourself, he's on his feet lifting you up with him. You cling to him and wrap your arms around his neck, even though you know he won't drop you the shock of being moved so quickly like that caught you off guard.
"W-where are we going?"
" 'm takin' you to bed." He walks you over to the tent he's got pitched up, moving to your tent. Kyle bends down and gently lays you down on the bedroll. He sucks in a breath when he sees the way your hair's all laid out and how you've got your thighs pressed together. Lips wet and slightly puffy from the way he kissed you. "Now if you ain't the prettiest thing I've ever seen. Take your blouse off for me."
Kyle looks down at you with darkened eyes, heavy eyes filled with lust. He watches every single little movement you make. They watch as you slip the buttons of your blouse through the little slots holding them together. Watch as you slip the shirt down your arms painfully slow, far too slow for his liking. But ever the gentleman he simply hooks his thumbs in his belt and watches, rewarding you with a low hum.
"That's my girl." His praise all but makes you purr; you like the way he calls you his. "Jus' a lil' more for me. Take that skirt off." His hand slips up your skirt and taps the side of your thigh.
You do it, work the skirt clips off along with the skirt itself until you're left in nothing but your underwear. He tosses them to the side letting them land in your pile of bags. He tugs off his sarape and works his belt, the clinking of his buckle rings out. The only other sound besides your heavy breathing is the bubbling brook next to your camp sight. Occasionally, you can hear the horses stir, but right now all you can focus on is the way Kyle strips down to nothing.
Kyle lays his gun down carefully on top of his clothes before joining you under the furs used to keep you warm. His cock nudges against your thigh, twitching against how soft it feels. You let out a shaky sigh and peer down at it, the angry red tip brushes against your skin.
"I-is that going to fit?" You ask him suddenly a bit worried, but it melts away when he takes your jaw and kisses you again.
"Darlin' we can stop at any moment. But if you'll have me, I'll make you feel real good." His hand snakes down between you two and his fingers go to spread you open.
You let out a little moan and whisper a soft, 'yes' and it's all he needs to continue. His middle finger rolls your bud gently at first until you start to squirm and push against his hand for more. He applies enough pressure to the circular motion that has you seeing stars. He continues rubbing circles on your clit and your hips buck up against his hold. It felt so good.
You moan out in pleasure when he slides two fingers into your hole with ease, your arousal making it so easy for him. He pumps his fingers in you once or twice, pushing into that spot that has your back arching off the bedroll. Kyle keeps his fingers buried in you for a moment, spreading them out and curling them in a come-hither motion. His lips find their way down on your neck, leaving faint love bites. Sucking on the exposed skin with enough force to pull a loud moan out of you.
"Kyle..." A low breathless whimper escapes your lips as he comes off your neck with a pop. "Please, please."
"Sound so pretty when you moan my name like that. Shoulda done this sooner." He works his fingers in you again, thrusting them up into you over and over again. "Fuck you're so fuckin' wet."
You're moaning so loudly you're sure if you weren't alone on the side of the road you would have woken a whole neighborhood. When you try to muffle those moans, he stops moving his fingers leaving you just teetering on the edge. The knot in your stomach starts to tighten, he can feel the way your pussy flutters around his fingers.
"That's it sweetheart, let go for me. Look at me when you cum." He holds your jaw with his free hand making you look up at him.
Your eyes widen and as you finally clench around his fingers giving you that orgasm you desperately begged for. His fingers keep pumping in and out of you until you're whining, and tears are beginning to spill from your eyes.
"Shh, I know, but I gotta make sure you're nice and prepped for me darlin' don't wanna hurt ya too bad." Kyle whispers in your ear until he pulls his fingers out of you finally. You whine at the loss of contact, suddenly feeling so empty. You watch him bring his fingers up to his lips and swirl his tongue around the digit. "Think you're ready for me baby?"
"Kyle, please. I want this, I want you!" You whimper.
"That's a good girl. Roll over on your stomach for me." He leans back up and gestures for you to do as he says.
So, you do, you roll over on your stomach and just as you do, he tucks a pillow under your stomach. His hands glide up and down your legs until they find purchase on your hips. They tighten and squeeze around your waist pulling you back against his cock. Kyle glides you back against his member, grinding your wet pussy up and down his shaft. He lets out a soft moan and lets his head lull to the side.
"Oh," He says quietly as the tip of his cock nudges against your folds, "thaaaaaat's it." Kyle slips every inch of his cock into you slowly, dragging your velvet walls back against him. He pushes and sinks deeper into you until he bottoms out.
"O-Oh god." You bury your face in the bedroll. "Fuck feels so good."
"You have no fuckin' idea..." He grips your hips and begins slowly thrusting in and out of you, "how many times I've thought about fuckin' you senseless. How bad I just wanted to make you fuckin' mine!" His voice comes out in a breathless moan over your desperate cries.
" 'm yours!" You're a mess at this point and he hasn't done much but finger you and start a lazy pace. Each time he drags his cock out he pulls all the way out leaving you empty again. Only to push it right back in at that antagonizing slow pace, like he's trying to get you to remember every little vein on his cock. "Please just go harder, I can take I-I promise!"
"Yeah? Want me to really fuck you baby? I was gonna take my time with ya, show you just how badly I wanted ya." Kyle bucks into you with a sharp thrust making you bounce forward, "but listen to yourself, beggin' for my cock. Beggin' me to go faster. Do it again."
You bite your lip and squeeze your eyes shut; the first time was easy you weren't really thinking about it. Now that he's making demands of you it makes you feel flustered. That embarrassing feeling of having him looking down at your wrecked form washes over you. When his fingers card through your hair and grip the base of your roots, you let out a shocked gasp.
"Darlin' I believe I asked you to do somethin'. I ain't exactly a patient man right now. Not from the way you're squeezin' me soooo tight." He nudges your insides with a lazy little thrust. All it does is make you moan and claw at the bedroll.
"Please Kyle! Please, please, please" You're reduced to nothing but moans and whines. Begging him to do something, anything!
He seems satisfied with that from the way he pulls you back against his chest. Pulling your head out from the bedroll and letting your moans ring out into the night. With a quick slap against your ass, he begins to pick up the pace. The length of his cock claiming you and pounding into you. Your heart rate spikes as he pushes into you deeper than his fingers could reach. He hits that spot in your pussy that his fingers hit earlier, the one that has you seeing stars and drooling. Kyle lets out a moan when your cunt tightens around him again, one that lets you know just how good you make him feel.
"So fuckin' tight. You take me so fuckin' good baby, like you were made for me. Made to take this cock. Fuck gotta feel you cum around my cock this time. That's it, that's it." Kyle grunts and takes his hand out of your hair. Snaking it around your form he grinds his fingers against your clit again.
Your eyes roll up to the back of your head from everything. The way his cock bullies your insides, how his fingers assault the already sensitive bundle of nerves, and the way he spouts filth in your ear. The praise makes you feel so good, puts you in a head space you've never been in before. The only thing you can think about is what he tells you to. Right now, he wants you to cum around his cock, so you do. You don't even register it until it happens. Until his hips begin to lose that rhythm and he stops pulling out as much.
But when your walls clamp down around him like they had done his fingers, milking him for everything he's worth, he lets out a low moan. He calls your name, not a pet name or the fake name that you've been accustomed to. Your name.
"That's it baby. Fuck I love you, fuck I love you." There isn't so much as a second thought as he just repeats how much he loves you. After one final hard thrust he's spilling into you, filling you with his hot cum. He empties until it's dripping down your thighs, creating a white ring around the base of his cock.
Both of your bodies were wet with sweat from being pressed together. What little strength he has keeps him from collapsing on top of you. His chest pressed against your back, your hearts beating in unison. Eventually Kyle sits back up and slips his cock out of you, carefully lowering you down onto your bedroll again.
You look up at him with an exhausted smile, absent mindedly pushing stray curls out of his face. He looks down at you and smiles in return, he takes your hand and kisses the inside of your palm. That afterglow of sex that clings to you and the way you look disheveled has to be his new favorite sight. You guide him down towards your chest and let him rest his head against your heartbeat. He closes his eyes and holds you close.
"I love you too." You say after a while, not sure if he's asleep or not from the way he hasn't stirred.
"Be mighty awkward if ya didn't." Kyle murmurs in between your chest, placing a gentle kiss onto your collarbone.
"Took you long enough to confess." You joke.
"Yeah...don't know what I was thinkin'. Guess I just didn't wanna put them feelin's out there if you weren't inclined to stick around. You got dreams of settlin' down somewhere quiet..."
"Nothing says you can't be there with me when I do."
"I don't know if I could ever go back to a quiet life like that...I don't think I deserve somethin' like that."
"Oh hush." You cup his face and bring it up to yours. "Don't ever wanna hear you talk like that again Broflovski. You're a good man, I told you that before. I don't love bad men."
"You ain't ever been wrong before."
"Wasn't wrong when I went out to find you all of them months ago. I ain't about to start."
"Ain't?"
"Huh?"
"You said ain't. Never heard you talk like that before, usually you talk all proper like. I think you're pickin' up my accent."
"Go back to laying your head down!" You huff and shove his face back down into your chest which only makes him chuckle.
"If I get to wake up to somethin' like this every day.... I reckon I can see myself settlin' down. Maybe we can get a little farm, start our own little ranch."
"I like that...we can send a letter to your brother, and he can join us."
Kyle smiles warmly at that. You remembered his brother, that conversation on the road that started all this. He closes his eyes and begins to picture it all. You and him tucked away in some area in Colorado with his brother who he hasn't seen in years. Maybe down the road you could change your last name to his. His hand finds yours and he rubs his thumb over your ring finger. Imagining a little metal ring, one that matches his.
The road’s starting to look a lot less lonely.
<- Previous Chapter
#south park#sp fanfiction#south park fanfiction#reader insert#south park x reader#x reader#requests fuel me!!#kyle broflovski x reader#kyle broflovski#gunslinger kyle#western au#Holy fuck#HOLY FUCK DUDE#37 god damn pages.#I have never written so much in my life#but the witches curse released me#I can only hope this is good#like please feedback on this one would be great#Kyle girlies come get your juice#again he might be a little ooc#but I can't help it#brain hears cowboy and I just#explode?#please enjoy and forgive me.#this is sin#shh it's a secret#part 2/2
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good news guys, i survived!
also, completely unrelated, i wanna cry?
#it may not be unrelated!#wasn't expecting joseph to????? talk so beautifully about jacob????? wtf bro#'he was a fighter. he believed he was a weapon with no purpose but you are his legacy' shut up im gonna tear up#might be just my dellusional ass but whenever i hear joseph abt the resistance i never feel like the deputy is part of it#as the judge yknow#i'm so sad yet again........ i like jacob now#he's condescending and an asshole and annoyingly competent but he's so interesting#when he yelled 'you think im scared of dying? its my purpose' i knew i was fucked cause i would be sad when i killed him#far cry 5#fc5#jacob seed
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You're such an inspiration for the ways
That I will never ever choose to be
Oh, so many ways for me to show you
How your saviour has abandoned you
Fuck your god!
Your lord, and your Christ
He did this!
Took all you had and left you this way
Still you pray, you never stray, never
Taste of the fruit!
Never thought to question why
#OK HEAR ME OUT#I know this song is about MJK’s mom but#S3 alhtred when Uhtred realised Alfred was really dying and there were still so many things that hadn’t said and done#do you see my vision#this song#this fucking song has been one of my favorite songs for years#but it was not until I was singing this song earlier that I realised it had the alhtredest lyrics ever#good job MJK and please come back and make another a perfect circle album I beg of you#BTW the never taste of the fruit part#my headcanon is Uhtred always knew there was something going on between he and Alfred#he KNEW Alfred loved him A LOT#he never called it out because Alfred’s feeling was the most dangerous fire to play with and if he handled poorly everything would crumble#and honestly it already did in 3x02#but he also knew if he didn’t do something about it this pious mf would never confess even the tiniest amount of it#and now god actually decided to take alfred away from him when they might never see each other again#he just started cursing about the Christian god that made Alf this way and all that could’ve been between them#the last kingdom#alfred x uhtred#uhtred x alfred#tlk alfred#alhtred#uhtred#Spotify#a perfect circle#funny that this song’s title is the name of Alfred’s stepmom lol#music
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I've been playing slitherio these past few days, and after some time messing around with nicknames and my own experience with the stuff, I've realized anger is something very easy to weaponize. On my second attempt of having "trans rights" as a nickname I killed a huge ~5k point worm as a teenie tiny 200 point worm simply because it was so desperate to kill me specifically. Anger makes your life harder, but it also makes people really unwise. I fucking bet this is in "the art of war", even though I haven't read it.
#Slitherio#Slither.io#If all these russian and pro war bastards can make me angry I damn bet I can try and make them mad too lol#It's such a pity pride flags aren't available in slitherio idc if the creators hate lgbt or not this is a great game mechanic#Users are easy to miss and if I'm a 6000 point long 💕🔵⚪🔵💕 worm people will go to me to fuck me up lol#Did I mention that I got to like 6200 barely attacking other worms myself? I don't think I did#I didn't count how much I attacked though so it doesn't count I should do a full defence kills run#If I play optimally I can get to a very big number I feel#You guys should try it too it's actually surprisingly fun if you're the kind of person to let go of things#Again though one good rule I learned these past few days is if someone's nickname makes you angry -> turn the other way#Being named 'trans rights' made me a target but also people attacking me were so much sloppier than when I was named 'meow'#It might be largely bc of the sheer number of attempts but hey. I've been there & I lost a few times specifically bc I was mad at some ppl#//interesting#Is the art of war a hard read though? Has anyone read it? I've heard it's fun#Oh yeah the mandatory vacation is messing with me a lot how'd you guess that?#Just don't think what this constant and never ending aggression towards a slogan in support of someone's existence in an online game says#about what it's like living in the world for these people#I've been mad at this at first but I'm starting to dig the shitty/absent censorship of both bigoted and also gay things. No hear me out...
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WAIT. i got a really good idea. i shouldn't have to do homework i should be allowed to just write nasty stuff forever
#avery.txt#ok like ok. i haven't watched past s10e4 because I Dont Want To. but ik that lucifer ends up in the bunker at some point and i want to#*do something with that. something about sam thinking he never got out of the cage. that he needs to do the same things he did in the cage#*to avoid the worst tortures. something about lucifer in the bunker meaning he needs to do all of those things again to survive. he thinks.#so he like. transforms into the person he had to be in the cage. and the others are like. ??? why's sam acting so weird.#BECAUSE YOU LET HIS ABUSER IN. YOU KNOW.#tw sa#for more tags#lucifer tells him to get on his knees for him and he just Does It because this is the cage isn't it? or if it's not it might as well be.#lucifer tells him what to do and he does it. orders him around. and sam flinches whenever he moves. and he never knows when dean is actuall#*lucifer bc of how many times lucifer wore his face. can't trust anything going on. they fuck and lucifer makes sam scream for him bc nobod#*will hear bc this is the cage! but of course they hear!!!!!!#and the worst part is that HE MISSED THIS. whenever lucifer talks to him or smiles at him or holds him or fucks him part of him is glad#*bc HE MISSED IT. he's fucking GRATEFUL that his abuser is back. godddd im gonna claw up the walls. i need to write this
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There's honestly... just so many people, just so so so so so many people in this world where I'm like... aren't you people tired of this fucking... you know, I was going to call them clowns but that's really disrespectful to clowns, these people could never get their face on an egg...
Anyway, aren't you tired of this childish jackass? Don't you just want to ignore them and never have to hear about them again? If we just ignored them they legitimately would go away... don't you want that?
And this applies to... just ungodly amounts of people, from jake paul to even elon musk (just... don't touch his shit, he'll run out of money eventually with how bad he is with it), to just... name an annoying famous person and you'll name someone I've literally forgotten right now that I could never have to hear about again if people would just ignore them (unless they committed crimes, investigators are welcome to pay attention while gathering a case)
Yet the answer's always "no, we're paying so much attention to them!" and I'm just like... why? Why would you watch jake paul box? I heard about that and was like "he's still doing that shit?", and yet I guess it made a lot of money yet again and it's just like... ignore him
These people could go away, and yet
#to be blunt this is also very very very much about trump#the best part of all if he'd lost is how I'd never have had to see or hear about his loser ass again#and you people couldn't even manage that (collective you; not you personally... unless you're Pennsylvanian basically)#like he's insufferable... unless you're a die hard fan of him you know he's just stupid and annoying#why would you want to hear a washed up reality star for four more fucking years?#we could ignore these people hard enough to make them go away#and yet I'll be stuck having to hear him say shit about Hannibal or whatever for four more years cause you couldn't do that#I'm so sick of it; I honestly am#jake paul could have been ignored into obscurity like a decade ago; and yet he's able to launch a scam with mr beast#like dear god... can't you people find something better to do than watch these people? ...like watch paint dry?#it's not just people; it's every live action disney remake; it's... it's just all of it... fucking ai#can't you people fucking ignore it? can't you just kinda boo when it shows up and then forget about it?#I get someone like elon is a toddler that needs an eye kept on him to make sure he's not breaking shit but like...#we could just not buy his cars... which... like... doesn't seem like a hard ask given how badly they're manufactured#again... weirdos on tumblr; I'm doubting you're to blame for most of this#but just like... could we just for the love of god let the stupid shit die out you losers?#I'm not even... I'm not even joking here; this isn't like a goof; this is a prescription#nfts die if literally everyone ignores them; live action remakes die if no one watches them; elon goes bankrupt if no one buys from him#(also gets really sad because he's a massive attention seeker; and that's pretty funny so bonus)#why do I still have to hear about jake paul other than like... 'he's been arrested for fraud' or something reasonable?#could have been done with him years ago... like maybe if you kept around one or two bad habits but... like the lootboxes couldn't go?#tune in; turn on; drop out... this part here; I'm asking you to do the drop out part#drop out of society and stop playing their bullshit games#pay attention; be engaged with the world and your community as best you can; and just stop... stop giving this shit oxygen#but again... if this isn't hitting the void it's probably hitting the choir... you're not an oaf on twitter sucking this stuff up#but fuck me... worry over tariffs and other shit aside; concrete quantifiable worries I can lay out I might add#for the people who act like it's just sky is falling mentality; nah... I can expressly say what and why I worry about come january#but all that aside... you couldn't have voted against him just... just to never hear his annoying ass again?#not saying harris would have been good or bad or anything else... I'm saying she would have been a fuck of a lot less annoying#and like... you gave elon a win too... the two most annoying people on the planet and ya couldn't just... not
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So I heard that Tumblr is slowly being abandoned (they seem to be laying off a majority of their staff and keeping a skeleton crew) and we might be nearing the end of this webbed site. I don't think it's currently worth panicking over, but I'm definitely going to start making that neocities website.
I'll make a post soon about other places where you can find me. Unfortunately, I've spent quite some time these last couple years getting rid of a majority of my social media because most platforms were bad for my mental health. I do not plan on going back to these platforms, so if tumblr goes down, I'm going to be only on non social media.
Maybe if one of the new social medias being created, actually take off (like bluesky or pillowfort or whatever else these days) I might join, but if not I might be entirely on personal websites, patreon (I will start posting regularly like a blog and make more free posts), some old websites I deleted but not because I hated them (such as ko-fi, which I deleted due to inactivity) and possibly furaffinity. I'm still on the fence about furaffinity. I might also finally start using my toyhouse but that is an oc sharing website and not much of an art sharing website.
I really do hope Tumblr doesn't go down, this is my one social media and if it does go down I am going to lose nearly all of my audience. I can make do by creating a personal blog and using whatever I have left in terms of "can post my art there and people can find me", and it won't discourage me from making my personal projects. I can make do, and I will make do, but I don't really want to make do.
Anyways, that's all I have to say right now, I'll make a post later once I set up some alternative sites to find me at, but for now I want to give the heads up that if I'm gone, you're not gonna find me on twitter, Instagram, or whatever third option there is. I'm likely going to just make do, be offline more, and likely just become active on the discord servers I'm on.
#simon says#long post#i think#it looks long on mobile#anyways there it is#I'm gonna have to start learning html#im also really sad that i hate making videos so much because I probably would just go on youtube#but I know from experience that I am not becoming a youtuber entirely because I fucking hate making videos that much#i get tempted quite often to become a nice little art youtuber or go into a niche art video subcategory#personally fight against the things I hate about youtube by not doing those things#but I just hate video making too much to do that#i do NOT like my voice enough to edit it#i might consider live streaming again since I used to live stream but also hnng nah im not sure#I prefer live streaming to video making because I hate making scripted videos and I love the live aspect of streaming#but also do I really WANT to stream again or do I just want an audience from a platform where it's very easy to build an audience?#that one is gonna be up in the air for a while tbh#streaming is currently in 'im not sure how i feel about it' limbo and it may never leave#if I do decide to start live streaming again you will hear about it on my sick ass personal blog I have to code#because I'll probably unravel those mixed feeling and come to a decision likely long after tumblr disappears lmaoooo#edit:#also I would rather eat my arm off than ever go back to tiktok so rule that one out forever
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DAKOTA YOUR RUINING MY LIFE STOP TELLING ME THAT I'M THE EXTERIOR FRIEND AND THAT NONE OF MY TUMBLR MOOTS ACTUALLY CARE ABOUT ME.
Uugh.... I can't fucking take it because after telling him “oh yeah I get that feeling” HE'S IMMEDIATELY TELLING ME THAT THEY DON'T LIKE ME AND NOW I THINK THEY DON'T.
#cw vent#tw vent#guh#time to start distancing myself even more!#“im not gonna sugar coat it.”#I DON'T CARE IM A KID I DON'T WANNA HEAR THAT THE PEOPLE I CARE ABOUT NEVER ACTUALLY LIKED ME????#DUDE.#anyway#watch me DIE.#im so done#it probably is the truth anyway#no one gives two shits about me and im just some emotional burden on them#like a leech#im literally just a leech to my moots#i don't mean all of you guys#because i said my specific five group circle#even though its different but like#frost and alice and thrash and ghost#oh yk MY ONLY FRIENDS I CAN TRUST.#i knew it#they all have each other and i don't exist im just here standing off to the side like always#NOT AGAIN#how does this happen online#i thought people could only do this to you irl#i just said their names so whenever they see this fhey know its about them#why? i don't care anymore. i might as well just fucking say it#sorry im being stupidly honest rn im such a dick eeughh ignore me
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I know I will regret it if I don’t wait until sundown to go on my run buttttttt….. I want to go now 🏃♀️
#also I can’t eat or have a beer before and I want my salmon and a beer#but I’m going to crash out in the heat it’s so fucking hot#but perhaps that’s my destiny#….#I might just go lol#if you never hear from me again you’ll know I died of heat stroke ✌🏻
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anyway sue zhao i would have loved you better but i could not have loved you more
#i think the problem is that i know he loved me but he was never honest with himself or others or me about how much#i mean he was going to kill himself over me and he's not even in LOVE with me#if he just showed it. and wasn't mean and didn't deflect and wasn't hot and cold. god. would there have been so much love#too much#and i guess that's the problem#is that i see more of a capacity for love in him than he allows to see in himself#he loved me but not in a way i could understand#and i think one day he might realize that if he didn't deflect so hard and wasn't mean and didn't beat back this affection with a stick#it could've been so good.#he knew me for 2 years and some of his fave memories ever were with me. he practiced the conversation we had every day#for 3 months. he always messaged me first. he always told me he didn't feel like he knew enough of me and wanted to know more#but why didn't he ask? why did we hang out so many times and in between laughs we bickered and argued and he sneered over nothing?#god. i am going to fucking lose my mind. why didn't he love me in a way i could stomach#why did he love me so much if it wasn't gonna be right#whatever. lol. whatever. fuck my fucking life.#negative //#sorry for posting again i'm just so sad and everyone is so sick of hearing about it#maia.txt#OR MAYBE THIS IS COPIUM LOL BUT I THINK THE GUY#WHO FORGETS ALMOST EVERYTHING remembering the teensiest things abt me and the guy who values his alone time#messaging me for like 5 hrs straight some days when he self described 'hates texting'#he could be a good manipulator with his apologies and he can be a good liar about other ppl but not abt me#he is fucking LAZYYY lol he wouldn't put so much effort into our relationship if he didn't love me#but why did he leave me second guessing so much. love isn't just devotion! it's affection and loyalty and joy and curiousity!#FUCK MY LIFE!
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