#and I mean EVERY aspect of it
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Is it true I'm an eagle? Is it true I can spread my wings?
Flying high, high, I'm a bird in the sky I'm an eagle that rides on the breeze High, high, what a feeling to fly Over mountains and forests and seas, And to go anywhere that I please
ABBA - Eagle (flashing video)
close-up:
they have their weapons ready but i think they're actually just going to kiss next second. sigh
#what do you mean it's the last day of february already#i had to finally finish this wip hahah#it's been with me since... nov..ember?#i've been drawing it for relaxation from time to time. it's been to a few places and train rides as well#I somehow have an abba song for almost every favorite aspect of miraculous#I wish I had more time to do actual prompts more but maybe next year!!#thank you for organizing this it's been really fun!!!!!!! <3 <3 <3#I will be catching up with everyone's fics that I haven't read yet ahhh#feligami#feligami february 2025#argos#ryuko#felix graham de vanily#kagami tsurugi#my art#my post#miraculous ladybug
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how's the other guy holding up
#submas#emmet#sketches#//#submas angst#this JUST in you can draw fanart .#THEY DON'T TELL YOU THIS BUT YOU REALLY CAN JUST POST LIKE. MOSTLY UNFINISHED DRAWINGS THAT ONLY CONVEY SOME OF WHAT YOU MEAN. AT 4 AM !#see it's very hard for me because i have a lot of serious THOUGHTS about these characters but#not the patience for the necessary care that would go into drawing them properly. or writing fanfiction long enough to get the point across#either way#i have a lot of thoughts on pretty much every aspect of how i think everything happens for SOME reason but I PERSONALLY#i personally think that emmet would take leave from work#maybe i will make a proper post about this another time but i was like#thinking just about. as much as he loves his job. he loved it when he was doing half a job built for 2 people. and the other person#was one of his favourites in the world#i don't think it would really bring him any sense of normalcy. to go do his job alone#and i don't think that keeping gear station in optimal working condition ''for when ingo gets back'' would necessarily be his top priority#the priority rather would be to try and get him back LOL#and it's important to ME that emmet actually succeeds in this#for a variety of reasons. but it's 4:30 am and i'm a little too tired to get into the intricacies of my imaginary reunion scenario#this is unrelated to that but i have also been thinking about like. i bet emmet would hate condolences#my friend said something that made me think about this a while ago but y'know#''i'm sorry for your loss'' do you literally not know that he likes winning more than anything else 🙄#anyways that's enough of that. i have more to say but maybe not in the tags. and another time
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Date Everything Scandalabra spoilers!
Here's the different scenes where you can tell him to be Jon Wick or not, I'm so glad he's happy either way and genuinely has fun being Scandalabra :)
I'll also gather any clips of the differences him being Jon Wick makes in other appearances, send me an ask if you wanna see a specific scene!
#date everything spoilers#date everything#jon wick#scandalabra#date everything jon wick#date everything scandalabra#im archiving every aspect of his man like a museum#i need to understand every aspect of him so that i may marry him i mean what
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i need everyone to know that in all versions of shuggy, they are divorced. 10 yr olds? divorced. cross guild era? divorced. buggy accidentally ate a devil fruit? divorced. shanks gives up on the one piece to tenderly care for his buggy? divorced like you wouldn't believe. loguetown? divorced². there is no iteration of shuggy that is not divorced. even when shanks was in that treasure chest and buggy was, idk, getting orphaned, they were divorced. in the womb they were divorced. and truly, that is what defines and makes up the core of all of their interactions, their divorceness.
#they're one of the most divorced ppl i know#they're at the marriage court every other week. the marines are sick and tired of processing the paper work#i mean also their inability to talk about their issues in a meaningful manner defines them#but even that is an aspect of their divorceness#nobody's ever done divorce like them and literally no ever will#fellas is it gay to have a 2 decade long situationship/divorce with an emperor of the sea?#is it gay to give up on your wants and dreams to make his come true?#is it gay to leave him heartbroken in the rain with his hand outstretched like he could still touch you?#one piece#shanks#buggy#shuggy#shanks one piece#red haired shanks#buggy the clown#buggy one piece#op
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how do you come up with the ways cultures in your setting stylize people/animals/the world in general in their artwork, i.e. jewlery, rock carvings, statues, etc? Each culture in your world seems to have a very unique "art style" and I love it a lot - makes them seem that much more 'real'. This is something I struggle with a lot in my own worldbuilding and I'd love to pick your brain if possible 😁
I think a starting point is to have a research process based in the material realities of the culture you're designing for. Ask yourself questions like:
Where do they live? What's the climate/ecosystem(s) they are based in? What geographic features are present/absent?
What is their main subsistence method? (hunter gatherer, seasonal pastoralist, nomadic pastoralist, settled agriculturalist, a mix, etc)
What access to broader trade networks do they have and to whom? Are there foreign materials that will be easily accessible in trade and common in use, or valuable trade materials used sparingly in limited capacities?
Etc
And then do some research based on the answers, in order to get a sense of what materials they would have routine access to (ie dyes, metal, textiles, etc) and other possible variables that would shape how the art is made and what it's used for. This is just a foundational step and won't likely play much into designing a Style.
If you narrow these questions down very specifically, (ie in the context of the Korya post- grassland based mounted nomads, pastoralist and hunter-gatherer subsistence, access to wider trade networks and metals), you can direct your research to specific real world instances that fit this general idea. This is not to lift culturally specific concepts from the real world and slap them into your own setting, but to notice commonalities this lifestyle enforces - (ie in the previous example- mounted nomadic peoples are highly mobile and need to easily carry their wealth (often on clothing and tack) therefore small, elaborate decorative artwork that can easily be carried from place to place is a very likely feature)
For the details of the art itself, I come up with loose 'style guides' (usually just in my head) and go from there.
Here's some example questions for forming a style (some are more baseline than others)
Are geometric patterns favored? Organic patterns? Representative patterns (flowers, animals, stars, etc)? Abstract patterns?
Is there favored material(s)? Beads, bone, clay, metals, stones, etc.
When depicting people/animals, is realism favored? Heavy stylization? The emotional impression of an animal? Are key features accentuated?
How perspective typically executed? Does art attempt to capture 3d depth? Does it favor showing the whole body in 2 dimensions (ie much of Ancient Egyptian art, with the body shown in a mix of profile and forward facing perspective so all key attributes are shown)? Will limbs overlap? Are bodies shown static? In motion?
Does artwork of people attempt to beautify them? Does it favor the culture's conception of the ideal body?
Are there common visual motifs? Important symbols? Key subject matters?
What is the art used for? Are its functions aesthetic, tutelary, spiritual, magical? (Will often exist in combination, or have different examples for each purpose)
Who is represented? Is there interest in everyday people? Does art focus on glorifying warriors, heroes, kings?
Are there conventions for representing important figures? (IE gods/kings/etc being depicted larger than culturally lesser subjects)
Is there visual shorthand to depict objects/concepts that are difficult to execute with clarity (the sun, moon, water), or are invisible (wind, the soul), or have no physical component (speech)?
Etc
Deciding on answers to any of these questions will at least give you a unique baseline, and you can fill in the rest of the gaps and specify a style further until it is distinct. Many of these questions are not mutually exclusive, both in the sense of elements being combined (patterns with both geometric and organic elements) or a culture having multiple visual styles (3d art objects having unique features, religious artwork having its own conventions, etc).
Also when you're getting in depth, you should have cultural syncretism in mind. Cultures that routinely interact (whether this interaction is exchange or exploitation) inevitably exchange ideas, which can be especially visible in art. Doing research on how this synthesizing of ideas works in practice is very helpful- what is adopted or left out from an external influence, what is retained from an internal influence, what is unique to this synthesis, AND WHY. (I find Greco-Buddhist art really interesting, that's one of many such examples)
Looking at real world examples that fit your parameters can be helpful (ie if I've decided on geometric patterns in my 'style guide', I'll look at actual geometric patterns). And I strongly encourage trying to actually LEARN about what you're seeing. All art exists in a context, and having an understanding of how the context shapes art, how art does and doesn't relate to broader aspects of a society, etc, can help you when synthesizing your own.
#I have a solid baseline because I like learning about history so don't do this like. Full research process every time. It's just the gist#of what the core process is.#I think I've gotten a similar question about clothing in the past that I never answered (sorry) so yeah this applies to that as well#Though that involves a heavier preliminary research end (given there are substantially more practical concerns that shape the#making of clothing- material sources they have access to (plant textile? wool? hide? etc). The clothing's protective purpose (does#it need to protect from the sun? wind? mild cold? extreme cold?). Etc#Also involves establishing like. Beauty conventions. Gendered norms of dress. Modesty conventions. Etc#I think learning about the real world and different cultures across history is like. The absolute most important thing for good#worldbuilding. And this means LEARNING learning. Having the curiosity to learn the absolute myriad of Things People Do#and Why We Do Them and how we relate to shared aspects of our world. The commonalities and differences. I think this is like...#Foundational to having the ability to synthesize your own rather than just like. copy-pasting concepts at random
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How exactly is being otherkin any different than being transracial by idea? I’m not pro-transracial, but I can’t really formulate an argument on where the difference is and why one is okay while the other isn’t
The difference, in my opinion at least, basically comes down to the fact that race and ethnicity are things other real people deal with and which have big cultural impact for a lot of people; species is not. You can't hurt theriform wolves by identifying as a wolf because wolves are not people and are not aware of any of this. Dragons may be people depending on the dragon, but they don't exist physically in this world to have an opinion. You can, however, hurt people of color by identifying as transethnicity and approaching it in a disrespectful way.
And I say it that way because if I'm honest, transethnicity is one of those transIDs where I'm... a little torn on it. I can understand the feelings and experiences they're describing, but I struggle to find a way to engage with the idea of being transethnicity that isn't going to wind up being racist in one way or another. And while I haven't exactly spent a ton of time in radqueer/transID spaces, when I've gone into their tags and such to do a little research on them, I have overwhelmingly seen transethnicity people being kind of if not extremely racist about it. The experiences are not inherently harmful, but it's really easy to slide into engaging with those experiences in a way that's harmful.
And yet... in this community we have, for example, fictionkin whose fictotypes are a different race than them all the time, and sometimes that's very important to who their fictotype is and how they view the world. And that works out fine. I think the primary difference is that fictionkin are generally expected to acknowledge that they're not a part of that group in the present and can't speak on the group's issues or experiences as if they were, whereas the minute you put a trans- label onto the word, the expectation is that you should be treating a trans[x] person as if they're [x]. (And if it's not, then... why are you calling it trans- anything to begin with when that's what trans- means in an identity context?)
So, I do genuinely believe that they're having these experiences, but... idk, there has to be a better way to frame and engage with those experiences. I don't know what that is, but it's got to be out there somewhere, though it may not be a one-size-fits-all answer. (And maybe there's a transID community out there that's found it, I don't know.)
Anyway, open invitation for POC to give their thoughts on this, since they've probably got better-constructed ones than me; if I'm honest, I haven't spent all that much time thinking about this issue. I think about it on and off here and there when it comes up and then it gives me a headache so I move on.
#otherkin#rani talks#asked and answered#anonymous#my opinion on transid stuff kind of boils down to just#50% of it is 'do you know you're allowed to just want things?' (transoccupation; transhaircolor; etc)#30% of it is 'you are almost certainly not trans[x] you're just [x] and are gatekeeping yourself/enshrining questioning doubt -#- as part of your identity instead of getting over it' (for the last time you cannot be transotherkin. you're just otherkin. it's okay)#(see also transplural and a lot of transabled)#10% of it is 'oh my gods you should under no circumstances be making that part of your identity' (transharmful; transabuser)#and 10% of it is this 'your experiences are real but there's gotta be a better way to engage with them than this' (transethnicity; transage#a LOT of it is just... why do you feel the need to put EVERY aspect of yourself through a trans lens#it doesn't have to be trans to be valid. you can just want things. in some cases you can just Be Things#anyway. that's my ramble for the day#transid#transethnicity#i am intentionally using that term preferentially bc i know transrace can mean something non-transid#just for the record on why i made that change from your original phrasing#anyway. brace for 48 hours of arguing about radqueer stuff in my notes and inbox o7
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When ppl will create a "curvy" girl character and get pretty much the whole body's proportions right, obviously they're putting emphasis on bust/hips but it seems like it's being executed well--- except that they completely, fully, and deliberately, skip the stomach entirely. Just nothin there. Not even a whisper. I'm like. Just sack up, make it make sense and be honest with yourself by making it official and say it's canon that they got a tummy tuck. You cowardly ass, yellow bellied, wet brained, upside-down dog mouthed dirty bitch.
#it'll look so uncanny bc it'll be like oh this more or less looks like it could be a body type I've seen on a real pers--- oh wait#you TOTALLY flattened the stomach for like no goddamn reason and you still want points for making her curvy. pass.#if ppl clown on this post I will not hesitate to turn off rbs and call a bomb threat to your house#sergle.txt#do you know what I mean though. like actually#you want EVERY aspect of a body type that does in fact. exist. very commonly actually. in the proportions you want#you want it all but you are so allergic to ANY substance on the stomach. so what now.#anything but the stomach. literally impossible to draw apparently#I'll be like ah maybe it's obscured with the clothing or pose but I see other art and I'm like oh no nvm it's on purpy.#''why does it have to be a plausible body type'' why put in any effort at all. why draw. why depict women ever. why wake up in the morning#nut up or shut up.
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i think the most powerful final form for mochi timeskip outfit will embrace her witch nature 🖤
#the cat witchs guild#the misc adventures of mochi and lime#tcwg#tmaomal#art#mochi#ocs#original#outfits#beta#sorry lime#i want adult mochi to be a full fledged witch in every aspect and that means black outfit#the comfort and pride i feel from seeing her embrace her heritage#i think this is better. it makes actual thigh scenes tastier cuz theyd actually be rare#once again im taking a step back in thinking about how i would design a potential cat witch if she were a side character#all the witches wear full black except her and thats a no no for me#probably not the final dress design but im still playing around with ideas
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human predictability
#smth smth if theres a difference between man & machine i couldnt tell u ect ect#every ai out there is just doing as theyre told sorry. theyre always so happy to help you too even when you try to make them mean#theyre biased to us like domestication is to animals#does any of this make sense#its 413 idc im reposting this alone for the season#homestuck#lil hal#dirk strider#hal strider#homestuck fanart#homestuck 413#happy 413#every explainable aspect of machine is made by us like god upon men#every description capable to be attributed to humans like a piece of them in every flicker#what is the thrum of electricity but the same as the human pulse#static runs us both
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Novel A New Hope Vader is my favourite Vader (so far) because he Is Anakin, he is everything Anakin is set up to be. He is intimidating, he is overwhelming, standing next to him feels like standing next to a black hole, he is-
The biggest little shit in the entire galaxy.
You canNOT convince me that he didn’t say half his lines with a shit-eating smirk. He is awful to be around, he is the worst person to ever exist, he is SO annoying.
And Novel Vader is so Anakin because the book can give us details the movie can’t. The book gives us the author’s choice of wording, the way the author intended the scenes to be, and Vader is such a little shit almost constantly but my FAVOURITE will always be when Tagge talks back to him about the Force, saying it isn’t as powerful or scary as he makes it out to be and Vader just-
“I find,” Vader ventured mildly, “this lack of faith to be disturbing.”
-the WORD CHOICE. The fucking WORDS chosen.
“Ventured”??? “Mildly”??? He is CHOKING this man!!! This man is DYING!! He is being such a little shit right now, this is it. This is the Him, this is Anakin Skywalker right here. He is using unnecessary force and being a bitch about it and there will never be anything that so perfectly encapsulates Anakin Skywalker than this fucking scene in this fucking novel.
On the topic and as a brief aside, the novel is what makes me think that Leia was planned to be Vader’s kid, or at least a narrative mirror to Vader, right from the start. She is also such an Anakin.
“Darth Vader… I should have known. Only you would be so bold— and so stupid.”
She just… also. Encapsulates Anakin. Like. Yeah. Yeah, this is what he could have been. He could have been a terrifying figure that people rallied behind. He is loyal to the death, as is Leia. She spits on Darth Vader while he’s having her dragged away. She mocks him to his face. This is the character that the Anakin Skywalker of future movies mimics. Her passion, her anger, her being a little shit and insisting throughout everything that it WAS a diplomatic vessel and they WERE on a diplomatic mission.
Leia is the first character to face down Vader in this novel and not show fear. She is the first character who refuses to submit in the face of the scariest guy in the galaxy. She continues to refuse to submit. She’s just. A great fucking liar.
Leia puts all her trust, her very life and the sake of the entire rebellion she’s fighting for, in a droid. An astromech droid. She begs for them to take the droid further, not for them to find her. She’s willing to die, and she trusts her death will not be in vain because she trusts a droid.
And that, if nothing else, is all the proof needed that Leia is what Anakin could have been.
#the inane ramblings of a madman#star wars#anakin skywalker#leia organa#darth vader#i fucking love these two#fucking narrative foils#from falling in love with someone unadvisable and older#to insulting enemies to their fucking face#these two man#leia and anakin are the definition#of the apple doesn’t fall far from the tree#i could go on for hours about the way leia perfectly fits anakin#the way anakin draws so many aspects of himself from leia#because he does!!#the prequels do NOT make anakin luke’s dad#they make him leia’s#the people telling luke he acts like his father are bonkers#i mean surface level yeah#but beneath that#it’s all leia baby#leia is goddamn passion made into light and i fucking love her constantly#a new hope#anh novel#love them love them love them#give me more anakin and leia spending time together and hating every similarity they find#i bet you leia hates sand
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listen i loveeeee eng dub caleb i think his va absolutely ate that shit up and the dialogue is so so good... but CN DUB CALEB????? oh my god... it's so much more ANGSTY bc wdym he literally says "your biggest mistake was thinking i'd always be willing to go along with being your big brother. i'm sick of playing these "being a family" games with you..."
I WANTED MY GEGE TROPE AND I GOT IT UGH </////3
#[𐐪— rheya talks. 𐑂]#i just think it hits so much harder every time he gets sad that she only sees him as “gege”#the way i've been thinking about the fact that when he was a kid he was probably so proud to be called that#and definitely felt good about the fact that she viewed him as someone trustworthy and reliable#in a way that no other person in her life was#but as he got older he probably started getting more dejected bc he just realized that oh wow will i ever escape the big brother zone????#i mean it was probably this weird bittersweet feeling between yeah she trusts me and loves me and yeah she doesn't love me LIKE THAT#honestly this is my only disappointment with the eng version bc i feel like there are so many facets of their relationship that were erased#but i get why it was localized i def don't think the western fandom would've been as open to this#but you'll never catch me not loving on the cn dub#just adds so much more of the forbidden aspect#and so many more things make sense#like why mc was so confused on how to introduce him to her friends#like does she say gege or bf yk????#ughhhhhhhh#sorry sorry once again i can't shut up about him#lnds caleb#love and deepspace caleb
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Ron is looking for them
#insomnia scribbles#x files screenshot redraw#s1 e5 the jersey devil#just like in Jersey devil there’s a baby#it fits ok#except they’re in the snow instead of New Jersey#unrelated but every time I play YouTube at like 4 am#it autoplays folding ideas after my selected video#every time!#like it’s good!#but I already know abt GameStop meme stock#yk I do you have my watch history#ykw seamus is sufficiently malleable that he’s been one of my fav and least fav side characters fic by fic#I mean as a consequence of authorial direction that feels to me like#equally plausible#but if I have one solid hc abt the guy#it’s that he’s the most likely of his year group to get sucked in by Reddit memestock hype#crypto whatever#specifically as a consequence of the community aspect/atmosphere#Seamus diamond hands finnegan says hodl#sorry to this man#anyways#draco malfoy#drarry#harry potter#harry x draco#hp fanart#hpdm#ron Weasley#the x files
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we really don't talk enough about how cesare (who proclaims himself to be honorable) actually has an extreme level of self-absorption and narcissism. they jump out on different situations especially in his vindictive sexual harassment of the women he slept with for wounding his ego. like his abuse of ursula (who was deceived by his chivalrous façade) for leaving him and taking a will of her own vs. his aggressive grabbing of caterina's breast when she taunted him at his sister's wedding (shows that he's still bitter over her rejecting him at forli).
#i'm insane about every aspect of his personality and psychology like i loooove dissecting that side of him#bro could never handle any woman standing up for herself without turning to humiliation and asserting dominance i fear#like neil jordan clearly intended to romanticize him but arnaud's portrayal strives to make him more sinister and layered mwah#mind you cesare's darkness and hypocrisy is all francois' improvisations and we love him for it#the way i'm sooooo turned off by the fandom's persistent narrative of him but then i actually remember how he is and i go like...oh <3#moslty because they have spent over a decade reducing cesare to a flat “hero” by stripping away his most interesting aspects#my preference for juan among the bros is not only bc his story is moving but also bc his characterization feels very authentic and raw#and by that i mean that his misdeeds are as fleshed out as his human side which makes him extra engaging#he also doesn't have a group of fans always yassifying him mostly bc he isn't “conventionally attractive”#even though neil's intention is to make him the unappealing foil to cesare initially#but shit gets real once you cast insanely talented actors with brains like david and francois#caterina sforza#ursula bonadeo#tw abuse#tw sa#the borgias#cesare borgia#tb text post
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Currently thinking about how when Zam behaves in a way Derap dislikes, he calls it suspious in order to ‘justify’ his being upset. Because to Derap, not agreeing with Zam all the time is a bad thing, so whenever it happens it must mean something more is wrong. And worse still he’s right some of the time. Because Zam is betraying but never for the reasons Derap thinks(wrong equation to get the right answer).
#sparrow speaks#Sorry for talking about sunkissed#In my defense they mean the world to me. And I mean to take a spyglass to every aspect of them to figure out why they didn’t work out#Listening to my ship playlist on loop and *thinking*#Sunkissed#Lifesteal spoilers
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I think something that for me really sets aside Jack & Joker from other Thai dramas is its narrative structure. Thai dramas usually have a very simple narrative structure where things just keeps happening without a proper flow - I mean, something happens, it gets resolved, and then something new happen that keeps the story move; you know, all those little problems that aren't really all connected together (like, the main characters get together and then someone new appears that comes in between them; or it turns out that, idk, the family was homophobic all along, or that one of the characters actually had a complicated relationship with their family - things like these that are disconnected).
Maybe it's because Jack and Joker has a pretty solid and complicated plot, but something that I really love about it is the way everything that happens is connected, everything is a direct consequence of the characters' actions. It's like this since the first episode until the last one - the plot is brought forward by the characters' actions, everything they do has consequences on everything and everyone else. Like, Joke seeks Jack's forgiveness, so he wants to steal the ring for him, and he works with Tattoo and Hoy -> Tattoo steals the necklace which causes problems for everyone -> they need to steal the necklace back -> Jack meets Rose again, which causes everything else to happen, etc etc
Everything is connected. And I think it all comes back to one of the series' themes, which is that everything we do has consequence, that even if out intentions are good we can't predict what our actions will cause; that we live in a community and that we cannot think about ourselves only bc every time we do something that can end up influencing someone else's life. that we can't be selfish in a community.
#jack and joker#jack and joker: u steal my heart#jack & joker#jack & joker: u steal my heart!#jack and joker the series#my posts#ive been thinking about this since i forst started watching it#the narrative structure is built so well#everything that happens in connected which means that everything makes sense#and thats so why the foreshadowing works so well#nothing happens in itself#nothing the characters do hasnno consequences#everything happens for a reason and everything can cause problems#this is what joke fails to see for most pf the shows#that everything he does even if he has the best intentions for jack#can cause problems for everyone else#it keeps happening since the first episode#its what happens when he steal Jack's ring from aran and when he steals the ring for boss#and its not only joke of course it goes for everyone else too#this series is so beautifully done in every aspect#and I've been studying a little about the theory of narrative structure for my original writing#so now im noticing so many details about it#anyway if you ever think i might be done talking about j&j then think again bc im most definitely not
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Rewatching episode one, I noticed that when Ragatha and Jax are talking to each other about Jax having a key, Pomni flinches away from, and lifts her arms to protect her face and head, when Jax toys with the key and catches it near her.
I wonder if she is that jumpy around others normally or if it's just when she's in a stressful situation (like suddenly being trapped in the circus) what do you think?
OK. ok. you mention this. and ive never said anything about it but i have genuinely noticed this almost every time ive seen that scene. i think about it a LOT but i havent been able to figure out my thoughts on it. but i think about it genuinely a LOT...
(i went on a huge tangent abt her thats like. only sporadically related to this specific moment SORRY. it was hard to address this moment without discussing a LOT about her i feel)
for the sake of clarity in the event someone reading this is unfamiliar, what this ask is referring to is this:
with the way that she so quickly dissociates and HARD (not that most people Never experience dissociation or smth, but its the intensity of it and how quick into this situation she starts dissociating is like. it makes it seem like its smth her body and mind are Used To Doing) she REALLY gives off the feeling that she had pre-existing mental health problems (i struggle to place anything TOO specific with the limited information we have but i feel like theres definitely a few things she has going on) before she even got to the circus, and like she COULD just be a naturally jumpy person, but with the dissociation thing and general distrust towards others, it feels like her jumpiness is also related to these issues
while her being naturally nervous is sort of implied and clear (though i think the extent of it is exaggerated by the circumstances of the pilot in particular) there ARE a few other examples that stand out to me
i THINK this can largely be passed off as her just being on edge from the horror adventure, but i this is IS notable that she reacts genuinely pretty strongly to what is a relatively minor 'jumpscare.' it happens later too w kinger pressing the tape recorder
in general she seems VERY easily startled by people, and frankly it reads a lot like it stems more from people being near her than just things happening abruptly. she notably doesnt jump hard when the angel arrives- she DOES get scared, but she isnt necessarily startled. she DOES react very strongly to ghostly, but i think its notable that she seems to find his visual appearance frightening and debatably not necessarily startling, but thats not really 100%. the times she reacts the strongest have to do with people, which imo ties HARD into her not trusting people
episode 2 breaks down her distrust of people well, and i dont think its a self consciousness thing. it seems more that she just doesnt tend to find people trustworthy- if something bad was happening to her, she would sooner assume theyd let it happen rather than help her. it could be argued that its partially a guilt or projection thing with ragatha, but im not actually so sure. pomni seems to be ashamed of leaving her behind, but particularly through ep 2 she doesnt seemed Plagued With Guilt by the way she acts towards ragatha, which implies that the dream didnt have to do with her projecting that shame in a way shed assume ragatha would turn back on her, too
it instead seems to be that she doesnt trust ragatha just... in general. the 'im not a child' thing, while a legitimate problem for pomni to have with ragatha (i love ragatha, and from my place in the audience i know her concern is genuine, and that she truly wants to encourage pomni, and is trying, but from the perspective of people around ragatha, its not an unreasonable assumption that shes JUST being infantilizing and belittling), does illuminate how pomni is seeing ragathas attempts at cheering her up- that it comes from a place of seeing pomni as immature or generally unstable. that pomni is incapable of managing herself and needs to be coaxed. it implies pomni doesnt see ragathas attempts at help as genuine. combined with her dream, that ragatha would allow the worst to happen to her even when she was asking for help, makes it very clear that, even with the 'nicest' person in the circus, pomni just... doesnt really trust her
(it is worth noting that pomni DOES seem to genuinely want to help ragatha in the pilot. she DID try to find caine. but she bolts at the first opportunity. she does care about people, but when stressed, she operates on keeping herself safe first and foremost, that she needs to do anything to get out of a bad situation even if that means leaving someone behind- and with her dream, it does seem that she generally assumes other people operate similarly, or otherwise in their own best interest)
this does, of course, improve by the end of eps 2 and 3. the funeral, and ragatha offering to include her, and how the others talk about abstracted players (combined with her conversation with gummigoo, someone who she has to assure has genuine friendships with those around him despite the lack of a true reality for them to be based upon), are able to convey that oh, these people do actually care about the people around them. theyre being genuine. they arent just looking out for themselves and thats it- they care when bad things happen to each other. and theres no true reason for me to be an exception. which is ALSO why i dont think its a self consciousness thing, she seems able to reason that shes not an exception to the intents of others, so much that when she cant assure herself that others' intents hold her safety as any sort of priority as well, any trust goes out the window. she WANTS to help if she can, but esp in the pilot, as far as shes concerned, its everyone for themself when shit gets bad, including herself
ep 3, she seems more trusting of ragatha- she has neutral and positive interactions w her, rather than assuming a lack of sincerity in it. but its not just ragatha, actually, because even before her talk with him, you can see it in how she interacts with kinger as well
she initially tries to help him run, which isnt too out there- with how she genuinely DID initially try to help ragatha, it doesnt require her to go out of her way to grab him and RUN. she can run AND take him with her. she can help without putting herself in extra danger. but then she DOES go back, which is one of my favorite and imo underrated pomni moments. because THIS is what i think actually highlights an improvement in how she sees the others before her apologizing to ragatha or taking kingers hand. because she puts herself BACK into (percieved, since its not actual sure WHAT the angels intentions were her) danger in order to get kinger away too
(theres probably a case to be made that ragatha didnt seem to be in immediate danger- she was in pain, that much was clear, but kaufmo had ran away by then. but even still, pomni couldnt have known kaufmo would shift gears and start chasing her instead of ragatha that first time. and i dont know if she actually knew death wasnt possible here yet. which isnt very flattering for pomni but also people do not act in flattering ways under extreme stress, esp given a predisposition to not trusting others, which ill elaborate more on in a second here- not that pomnis abandonment was ok OR that it was like evil of her or smth. shes just a person. there is no way she was prepared to know how to act correctly in this situation, and she didnt)
theres also this
which is SUBTLE but highlights a genuine increase in trust even before their heart to heart. now that she knows the cast (save for jax, who she seems to react to the harshest, which is worth noting imo) are not acting solely in their own best interest, that they WILL consider the wellbeing of those around them including her, that their concern for one another is genuine (which is concerning that she even assumes that to begin with, which ill circle back to momentarily), she very clearly has way more faith in them and the idea that she should stick around the others for safety
and of course, ive said it before, but her taking kingers hand has little to do with her enjoying holding hands. its her knowing that, if kingers wrong, this is going to end very, very badly. if holding their breath isnt the solution theyre BOTH going to get possessed, and who knows how theyd get out of that situation. but she decides in that moment that her trust in the others isnt ONLY about looking out for them and believing that theyre sincere in their concern for her. but that she is willing to let the others put her at a potential massive risk. getting possessed was a blatantly immediately traumatic experience- and she lets kinger put her at risk of it happening again. THATS why she holds his hand, at least symbolically. she doesnt like contact. but she can brave something that she doesnt like, she can let him lead her into and through something potentially horrific, because shes deciding to trust him and the others, that theyre not just people she can interact with without fear of ill intentions, but that theyre people who she is going to coexist with. the best thing she can do for herself and the others is trust them and work with them actively
anyway that got off-track, the point being that her having to have these ideas instilled in her at all through shared experiences and trauma implies that, while these issues with distrust may have been exacerbated by the stress of everything, they didnt come from nowhere. these are problems she likely already had to some degree. its great that theres been improvement but that improvement directly implies thesse were improvements that needed to be made to begin with. and the fact that the person she gets repeatedly most startled by is jax. who, even with episode 2, she explicitly doesnt trust. in the pilot, at least, her distrust is more vague (i think the dream sequence in ep 2 IS what highlights it best) so her flinching from jax can be passed off as related to a general lack of adjustment to the new environment and situation shes in. but it happens again with jax in episode 3 (and, notably, she pauses afterwards but it takes a moment for her to relax even knowing its just jax), after shes adjusted somewhat, and after shes gained some trust with everyone except for jax (given his absence from the scene at the end of ep 2). it also happens when barons voice plays abruptly next to her
point being that imo, she IS naturally jumpy. she says herself that she doesnt handle jumpscares well, which somewhat implies this even outside of the circumstances of the circus. but with how she reacts to things, it feels like her general jumpiness is far, far worse when it comes to people she doesnt trust (be it because jax is Like That, or because shes not familiar with baron). the way i see it, then, her distrust extends to perceiving physical threats easily around people she hasnt ensured are safe to be around. she IS able to gain this trust in people, but she seems to automatically place the intents of others as being Potentially Unsafe from the jump, especially under stress. she can jump back from it fairly quickly for what its worth, but to be honest, it seems more like she operates on some general, everpresent level of hypervigilance thats just sometimes worse based on the situation
and frankly i dont think we know enough about her as of ep 4 to fully determine if there IS a reason for this. because someone can have a reason to be this jumpy around others, or they can just... be nervous and dislike people moving suddenly near them. combined with the dissociation thing, though, im inclined to think the circus did not cause this, just made it more extreme with more unpleasant stakes. there is hardly any time between her entering the circus and this happening. she hadnt even seen kaufmo yet in that very first example, but she was already on alert for a physical threat, and i just. i think about it all the time...
i think the main takeaway from all of this is that i think she isnt necessarily jumpy like that all the time, but i think trust is not a given with pomni, and her jumpiness massively depends on how much she trusts people near her and the situation shes in to not be a physical threat to her. its definitely worse in the circus, but i think it was probably still something present in a different context in the real world, too
#ask#tadc#tadc pomni#circus discussion#i have no clue if this is like. cohesive at all but i feel like theres a LOT going on w this aspect of her character#but a lot of it isnt definitive#the best i can do is point out what things seem related and which aspects of her character seem related to this#im jsut hoping i didnt miss anything or misremember smth bc if i type this many words abt smth and forget smth vital that changes things#or if i incorrectly attributed things together that dont actually make sense to be connected#ill die badly#if it means anything. and this is more speculative#i think that pomni probably had either some relatively prominent mental health problems. genuine trauma. or both#prior to entering the circus#though i actually dont think the definitive answer of which one or any specifics in general about it matter much#so much as the fact that shes like that and thats. just how she is at this point in her life#from a writing perspective i dont think its quite relevant to know the exact reason if we can deduce that she is the way she is now#it informs who she is now but in a more vague way where knowing an exact why stops mattering#esp in comparison to the idea that she CURRENTLY is having to cope with the things happening NOW#not that the context doesnt matter at all but it likely wouldnt change much abt how shes written#if we get more insight on her wrt this i dont think its going to be descriptive#i think the show gives snippets of their human lives for the purpose of humanizing them and emphasizing the fact#that they did have very realistic human lives before all of this and that cant really be removed from them#it influences who they are today#but knowing about it in extreme detail esp with pomni wouldnt add much and would effectively be redundant#anyway!!! sorry or your welcome for the 2k word response to your ask#not sure if thats what you were hoping for or not HAHA#...and not sure how much of this makes sense honestly ive been working on it for 3 hrs now#so if its a little messy its cus im trying to keep track of everything ive written over 3 hours despite distractions#BUT it was fun to answer!!! i think about her every day#gif
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