#and I loved it!!! and it was great but it’s not the same anymore. I don’t feel that joy like I used to. and I don’t think I ever will again
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hi bunny, just got broken up with so anything to fix a broken heart would be amazing but highly need Lando Norris to be the situation.
Maybe best friends to lovers, kinky kinky good shit
heartbreak heaven
lando norris
tags: smut & fluff, friends-to-lovers, jealousy, sweet talk, break ups
a/n: i'm so sorry about that anon! break-ups are always the hardest, but i promise it does get a lot better! i hope you love this fic and maybe it soothes some of the ache from the heartbreak! i gave it a mix of romantic, fluffy, smutty goodness! - word of advice: chocolate is a great medicine for a heartbreak!
"that's crazy! i can't believe he did that." lando said as he leaned over and grabbed another tissue from the box on the coffee table, "we should kill him."
you looked at him, unamused as you took the tissue from him, "not funny, lando." you remarked as you wiped your eyes, "i can't believe he did that. he just up and left, he said that he could do it anymore. do what? am i that bad of a catch?" you huffed as you balled up the tissue, "stupid prick."
"ah well, his loss." he remarked. he was comfortable next to you on the couch with his arm draped over the back of it, "you'll get 'em next time, tiger."
you leaned up against him and exhaled deeply, "thanks, lando. nice to have a friend like you." then let out a small chuckle.
lando let you lay up against him and threw an arm around you. he sighed, "yeah... friend."
you had known lando for a while, since the karting days. your older brother was a racer, and while he didn't make it pro, you still remained closed to lando. you two were the same age and it was a a simple friendship. except lando didn't see it that way, when he was younger he never thought about happily ever afters and marriage. but, when you were around, even when you cheered on your brother, lando thought about you being mrs. norris. but time wasn't kind to him and after what felt like a dozen boyfriends, you were once again in lando's arms with tears in your eyes.
"you can do better." he said lowly, "so much better, you have no idea." he leaned in a little closer, his arm snaked around you, "how about someone who knows what the hell they're doing. to make you feel special, to please you."
"like oscar?" you asked a little oblivious.
lando sighed before he looked you in the eyes, "no... like me." before he captured your lips in his and wrapped both arms around you shoulders.
when he pulled away, he looked at you once more. and you stared back at him with shocker, "what!?" you asked and he felt heat in his cheeks.
"i can explain-"
you pulled him in for a tight kiss once more before you held onto his shoulders tightly. you felt the excitement through both of your bodies, he pressed his forehead up against yours with his eyes closed before he asked, "bedroom?"
lando know the layout of your flat like the back of his hand. he took you by the hand and led you towards your bedroom. he flicked on the lights and you led him further into your domain. the white rug, the string lights, the soft bed with the stuffed animals on it, which included a stuffed dog that he picked up for you while overseas.
"you look good you know, even with all your runny make up." he joked, "in order to really love a girl you gotta see her in her most comfortable." it didn't help that you were in sleeping shorts and a mclaren t-shirt (another gift from lando). and then started to get his t-shirt off. you did the same to your own shirt, lando eyed the shape of your body under the t-shirt.
you looked away for a moment and asked, "does it look bad?"
lando shook his head, "oh, no way. you look.... beautiful. what the fuck were these guys thinking? obviously a waste of a beautiful woman." his hands went to the belt on his black jeans, "i have a theory, that when a guy sees a woman as beautiful as you. they get intimidated. scared little boys." he chuckled.
"because you were always scared to ask me out?"
lando nodded, "yeah, but... i can't help myself anymore. if i see you with one more guy, i'm going to crash my car into them... i want you." he practically fell to his knees in front of you while you sat on the bed. he placed a large hand on your thigh, "i can't take it anymore, i want you. i need you. i want to be with you."
you took him by the face and gazed into his beautiful eyes. you ran your thumb across his bottom lip and nodded, "then after this.. you show me all the other ways a proper man should treat a woman."
lando took you by the hand and pushed your wrist up against his face, he exhaled deeply and said, "of course... every way i can."
you both were soon up by the pillows, lando's large hands on you as he held onto your shoulders to kiss you. the kiss was heavy, near bruising on your lips. the bed shifted under the both of you as you stripped of your clothes. you were left bare for lando as he felt up your skin.
he took in the sight of you, enough distance to admire your face and body, you looked heavenly, like a divine being. laid out on the soft covers of your bed. the male species must be a bunch of goddamn idiots. he laid you out on the bed, he admired your beauty as he felt you up. he swallowed and said, "beautiful, you know that right? beauty beyond words." then laughed a little as he captured your lips with his once more.
"please, lando." you reached over into the drawer of the nightstand and pulled out a condom, "no ifs, ands, or buts." and lando took it happily. it was quite erotic seeing lando put on a condom. it arose something in you, you couldn't quite put into words. and then when he was back between your legs once more. you smiled up at him and said, "you look good with one on."
"better safe than sorry." he remarked, "now, relax... i've been waiting for this for a long, long time." his childhood friend, his first crush, was now under him on her bed all spread out and perfect for him. one hand on his cock and another on your hip, he slowly sank into you and felt a shudder through his body. it felt hot, very hot.
"how does it feel?" you asked, for a moment you were self conscious. you knew that lando could have any woman he wanted, there were tons of grid bunnies, models and beyond who would die for a piece of lando. it made you feel a little self conscious in yourself.
"how does it feel? it feels amazing, fuck. you feel as good as you look. holy shit." he chuckled softly, "you have no idea what you do to me. all the times i thought about you. yearned for you. the longest crush i've ever had." he said as he held your hips and continued to move against you.
"no need to flatter me, lando. you already have me." then yelped when lando hiked your hips up a little bit.
lando chuckled as he moved against you faster, "i love when you say that, how that sounds on your tongue. your sweet voice telling me that i have you. but call me greedy, beautiful, because i want all of you." his pace quickened and he leaned in further towards you.
"fuck, lando." you groaned. you wondered where he learned those words. you felt the shudder through you as the pleasure continued to course through you, the patter of your heart grew as he continued to love you.
"that's it, angel. that's it." he groaned as he rutted against you, "jesus christ, you're beautiful. you have no idea what you do to me. fuck, i could name all the times i saw you and my jaw dropped."
"flirt." you moaned.
"only for you, angel." he said as he continued to move, his pace was rather feverish the more he needed you. you held onto his shoulders and he loved the feeling of your nails in his tanned shoulders. it only made him yearn for you more as he rutted against you. he could feel the heat in his cheeks and the pleasure cloud his thoughts.
it was hard to think of much else when he was buried in his sweet cunt. your cunt made him wild as he moved. he wanted more, no, he needed more. more of you, more of his first and only crush. no matter how many trophies he won, to have you in his arms was worth more than that.
he kissed you once more, and you held his face. you tried to meet his pace as his cock worked inside of you. it was hot between you two, you could feel the heat at your temples as you kept your legs up to keep him fucking you.
you tensed up at the feeling, at his words. when he pulled away from the kiss, you two gazed at one another. you didn't think that you'd ever be with lando, but there he was. he gazed at you with a heated want as the two of you continued to move against one another. it felt electric, hot in a way that made your core swirl.
he was erotic, painfully hot. you felt the pleasure grow in your body. it was something else, a totally different feeling. you groaned, "fucking hell, lando."
lando beamed down at you and continued to fuck you. the kisses continued soon after and he felt the fire in his gut from the want from you. you were beyond perfect, he knew that. the way your pussy took him left him hungry for more.
"you're amazing." he said lowly, "so perfect."
"not as perfect as you." you said as you kissed him on the cheek, your hands in his hair as the two of you fucked against one another with a heated passion. the fire between the both of you as you two rutted against one another.
the pleasure only bloomed in your gut as he moved against you and you moved against him. you moved together in a sort of harmony. a perfect pace of one another as the pleasure moved through both of you. it felt like heaven and it made your toes curl at the feeling.
it didn't take much longer before you held onto him and came around his cock. your cutn clenched around his cock and he rutted against you further. the two of you moved against one another heavily. the pleasure only crashed over you, and then soon after it crashed over him and he came inside of the condom. he groaned into your shoulder as he finished. you held onto him closely and the two of you continued to move against one another.
he groaned against your skin and felt the fire in his soul. it felt amazing, and as he slowed to a stop. he admired you. he saw the expression on your face and your features, the same features he loved growing up. the two of you kissed one another before lando laid in bed beside of you. he held your face when he kissed you again.
you giggled against him then pulled away. you two looked at one another and you wrapped an arm around him. you asked, "how was that?"
"oh perfect." he chuckled as he held your face, "beyond perfect." he looked at you closely and felt a sense of relief in his body. he kissed you once more then said, "i want you for the rest of my life."
and who were you say no? <3
#bunny writes#reader insert#formula 1#formula one imagine#f1 smut#formula one fanfiction#formula one smut#f1 x reader#formula one#lando norris imagine#lando smut#lando x reader#lando norris#lando norris fanfic#lando norris x reader#lando norris x you#lando norris x y/n#mclaren#ln4 imagine#ln4 smut#ln4 x reader#ln4 x y/n#ln4 x you#ln4 fic#ln4#ln4 mcl
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the morning after luigi mangione x reader (18+)
summary!!! part two of is it new years yet because you do not get back together just cuz he has good dick OMG 🖕🖕🖕🖕😒 he also has a great personality and loves eating pussy
warnings: smut, kinda angsty, he’s manipulative but honestly he’s such a nice guy, you should really give him a second chance
^ not edited let’s alll just practice gratitude 🙏
seven days, thirteen hours, and nine minutes and thirty six seconds.
that’s how long it had been since luigi had seen you. not that he’d been counting, he was truly trying to be normal about the distance this time around.
he replays the morning after on a loop, searching for the slightest hint he’d done something wrong to no avail. as a matter of fact, your quiet body was beside him until deep into the afternoon, nothing but soft snores exchanged between the two of you. he wakes before you, kissing your forehead before taking his leave. his frat brothers whistle at him as he enters the wretchedly messy house, throwing him a water.
“happy new year, big guy,” one of them, hasan, greets. “did’ya spend your night thinking about new goals or scoring the same one?”
luigi rolls his eyes. “fuck off.”
another brother chimes in, bright-eyed. “when are we meeting her?”
“in your dreams.”
he had no intention of sharing you in any way; the thought of anyone else even looking at you irritated him. but starting the new year off by your side was far too great a fate to be stoic about. he grabs a plate of what’s left of their shitty communal breakfast (jar salsa from the night before, scrambled eggs, and two pieces of mostly burnt toast) and brings it into your room.
“y/n,” he calls out while entering. the door to the bathroom is now closed, and he sees your shadow shuffling around the room.
hesitant, the door creaks open. youre back in your black minidress, holding onto your heels. “hey, pretty.”
“hi,” you say tightly, the mistakes and soreness from the night before lingering in your mind. you’ve just wiped away the tears still streaked on your face, yet your ex-boyfriend hardly looks hungover.
“dressed up just for me?” he jokes, kissing your cheek. he offers you the plate of food but you shake your head.
“lacy’s waiting for me. i’ve got to go.”
“stay,” he says, his voice honey-sweet, like the boyfriend you knew months ago. it makes you feel sick, the familiarity of it all suffocating you. the room feels too small.
you push away from him. “i have to go.”
“baby,” he drops everything he’s holding to grab you again. “what’s wrong? is everything alright?”
he always blows your mind with his audacity. “no, everything’s not alright, luigi,” you spit back. “we shouldn’t have—none of that should’ve happened.”
“what do you mean?”
“luigi,” you sigh. “we’re over, alright? it’s done.”
“y/n—”
“i mean it,” you raise your voice so slightly, but still it breaks. “you cheated on me, then pulled all this shit, i can’t do it anymore.”
“you can’t do it anymore? are you serious?”
“yes!”
“you ignored me for weeks then showed up at my fucking party, dressed like that,” his voice was low, but angry. brows furrowed, he doesn’t lose his grip on you. it scares you. “you can’t tell me you weren’t bartering for my attention.”
“i wasn’t.”
his jaw sets. “then who’s?”
“oh my god. nobody’s!”
“don’t fucking lie to me—”
“lu, stop, seriously.” your voice trembles this time, and you both notice it. he drops your hand.
“i didnt mean to hurt you,” he says, soft at your upset. “i swear—i dont remember cheating on you. i’m not gonna mess up like that again, i promise.”
he leans in to kiss you, to seal the pledge with his gentle touch, but you pull back. “it doesn’t matter that you didn’t mean to hurt me—you did. you can’t just pretend it didn’t happen.“
his big brown eyes bear into yours and he swears, “i can make it up to you.”
“luigi,” you hadn’t even realized you’d been crying until he brings his hands up to wipe your tears away. “i just don’t think this is a good idea, i’m sorry.”
“come on,” he says, frowning. “i love you. only you.” his lean-in to kiss you is successful this time. the kiss feels much better—softer—than last night’s. he’s gentle with his desperation, intent on making you stay. “‘m sorry, okay?” he says between kisses. “let me make it better.”
“no, luigi, we shouldn’t—”
“you’ve got to hear me out, y/n,” he takes your lips again. his hot kisses move down your neck—and it all feels so different this time around. even the air in the room feels lighter. his voice is against your ear when he swears, “i’ll be good to you, sweetheart, i promise.”
saying no to him is near impossible—it’s why you shut yourself off of him for weeks, avoiding places he frequented, deactivating your social media, ignoring his constant stream of messages and calls. now, he has you, and within minutes, you’re pressed against the wall again.
“feels good?” he teases, grinding his hard-on into your core. you melt underneath him, you can’t help it, he’s so warm.
“lu,” you whimper. you’re still sensitive from how selfishly he took you the night before, you can’t help but react to his touch so quickly. it felt so raw.
“wait—” he never does. his hands are on your hips again, moving your body against his.
“just let me take care of you,” he says, trailing kisses down your neck again. this time, he was sure to leave marks.
he keeps the dress on this time. he places you back onto the bed, and as you gather the courage to take him in again, he moves beneath you.
“knew i recognized these,” his voice hot against the fabric of your panties.
you told yourself the lacy black panties were just meant to match the dress, but it all seemed so intentional—the party crash, the kitchen drive-by, the fact that you were wearing his valentines day gift. whether this was a manifestation of your greatest fear or desire, you couldn’t tell.
he kisses your thighs, then runs his tongue against your core through the fabric of your panties before ceremoniously ripping them off. he kisses and sucks at your wetness. you tremble at the suddenness of his movement. his big nose is so prominent in your pussy, you can’t help but grind yourself against his perfect face and whine as he drinks you in.
“you’re such a fucking mess,” luigi says, smiling into your warmth. his unshaven stubble tickles your sensitive cunt, sending a tremor through you. “so wet, i’ve barely even touched you.”
“i can’t help it,” you whimper.
he grabs your ass, pulling you closer to his relentless mouth. it’s ridiculous how good he feels. he’s completely shameless in his endeavor to ruin you.
“look at me,” luigi orders, so you do. you look down to see him, finding that he’s already gotten to touching himself. his hard length at the edge of the bed, furiously red, as he strokes himself. “i think about you everyday,” he admits in between licking at your core. “i missed how this pretty pussy tasted. i missed having you like this. holding you down so you can’t squirm away. missed hearing you beg.”
you’re almost there, fidgeting underneath his hands. “luigi, please. it’s too much.”
“you’ve taken worse,” he growls into you.
he feels like he’s on fire. one hand moves up and down along his cock fervently, while the other lends itself to fingering your frothing pussy. you mewl at the sudden entry, back arching.
“luigi,” you whine. “please.”
“i’m trying to do a nice thing for you, y/n,” he hums, “but you want me to be selfish, hm? want me to take you?”
“yes,” you say, breathless.
“fuckin’ slut,” he grumbles, pulling himself away from your wet cunt. he grabs your ankles and pulls you to the edge of the bed. “what d’you want from me, huh?”
“want you.”
“course you do,” luigi says, surprising you with hard slaps against your sensitive clit. you cry out at the sensation, the unfamiliar storm of bliss and torment, and he chuckles darkly. “you fuckin’ belong to me.”
he grabs your chin and forces you into another kiss, your wetness now staining you both. he lifts your leg up and slides himself back into your wet warmth. “you’re dripping,” he praises as he pounds into you. the exhilarating pain sets your senses alight, you grip onto him tighter without even realizing. “all for me, yeah?”
“all for you.” you nod. this is not how you expected this conversation to go. you writhe at how big he is, how hard.
“you can take it,” he grunts. he’s not fast, this time—his thrusts are agonizingly slow and tortuously deep—just as you think it’s all entirely too much, one hand grips your clothed tit, the other lifts to cradle your chin, forcing your lips to part open. he spits into your mouth. “swallow,” he orders.
you do.
“good girl,” he places sloppy, wet kisses along your jaw, your neck, then goes to bite at your tits. “so fuckin’ pretty.”
“i thought about you too,” you admit sheepishly, out of your mind. he looks up at you, raises his eyebrows, urging you to go on. “i missed you.”
to your surprise, he scoffs. “fuckin’ bitch.” he suddenly loses the interest in being gentle with you, returning to your body rough and angry. his fingers massage against your clit, unraveling you. “you’re just as crazy as i am, you know that? running around town like you don’t belong to me. like you don’t touch yourself late at night thinking about this cock. wishing those fingers were half as good as mine, huh? fuckin’ idiot.”
“luigi,” you cry out. was this him being nice?
“be a good girl f’me,” he grunts. he feels you pulse around his cock and drives into you with even more force. “cum all over me, baby. have my fuckin’ kids.”
“luigi,” you mewl again, desperate for release.
“come on, pretty, show me how good it feels.”
his lips return to yours, hot wet and desperate, as he cums inside of you. you’re a complete mess—squirming and whimpering as you unravel onto his cock, he catches your moans with kisses and leaves you shaking underneath him.
“good girl,” he hums, kissing your forehead.
for a fleeting moment, the two of you are perfect. everything feels just right. he slips into the spot beside you, the disarray of tangled sheets forgotten as he pulls you into his warmth. you sink into the nape of his neck, and though there are no more words spoken, the air is thick with an undeniable love, quiet but all encompassing.
but when he stirs awake, reaching for you, all that lingers is the soft, fading smell of your spring perfume.
send requests ! <3
#shoutout hasanabi#sexy ho#luigi mangione x reader#luigi is a sweetheart it’s true#luigi mangione x y/n#luigi mangione smut#free luigi mangione#free luigi#luigi mangione#luigi mangione fanclub#luigi fanart#luigi mangione fanart#luigi mangione imagine#luigi mangione fic
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𝐡𝐨𝐰 𝐭𝐨 𝐥𝐨𝐬𝐞 𝐚 𝐠𝐮𝐲 𝐢𝐧 𝟏𝟎 𝐝𝐚𝐲𝐬 - 𝐋𝐞𝐞 𝐅𝐞𝐥𝐢𝐱
Pairing: Lee Felix x fem!reader
Warnings: fluff, angst, slight smut (piv!)
Summary: Felix Lee makes a bet with his co-workers in which he had to make a woman fall in love with him within 10 days, but he picks the wrong woman, who's working on an article for the magazine she works for called 'How To Lose a Guy in 10 Days' and she had chosen him as his prey. Based on one of my comfort movies: How To Lose a Guy in 10 Days (2003).
Word Count: a whooping amount of 13.2k
PS: this is an old fic of mine from my old ao3 account (that i don't use anymore lol), i rewrote it with Lix instead. You can check it out here. Also, i proofread this but i don't trust myself that much so, if you see any mistake, feel free to let me know pls.
MASTERLIST // my Ko-Fi
Day 1
“I’m going back to bed, I have no reason to live”
“Oh Karina! Come on. Get up, I’m not gonna let you lose your job over a stupid guy” you said.
Karina laid in bed, tears both fresh and dried on her cheeks, heartbroken over a guy she met, fell in love with and then told her he didn’t want anything serious.
“Oh, oh Y/N” Karina said, hugging you.
“You only dated the guy for a week” You reminded her in a whisper.
“It was the best week of my life, Y/N. He was perfect” she sniffled.
You sighed and pulled away from the hug. “Come on. I’m sure Seulgi yelling at us because we didn’t write the article like she wanted us to will bring you back to reality and will make you forget about the douche you dated” you said with a smile, making her chuckle.
You helped her get dressed and then got in a taxi to the Composure offices, where you, Karina and your other best friend, Ryujin worked. Composure was a ‘girly or gay’ magazine, as everyone liked to call it, created by Kang Seulgi, where you could find either the latest trend in fashion, the Kardashians latest fake scandal or how to catch men like Harry Styles. You found all the articles that were written in the magazine a little bit sexist, you studied journalism to become a real one, not a gossip writer for a cheap magazine. But it was a job that gave you a certain status, you couldn’t complain.
When you arrived at the Composure offices, you opened the door of the cab for Karina, who held a couple of tissues in her hand. She blew her nose and got surprised by Ryujin who was holding a cup holder with 3 newly ordered coffees from Starbucks. “Hey honey” Ryujin winced when she saw Karina state.
“I don’t really wanna talk about it okay?” she smiled through the pain, making you and Ryujin nod.
You got inside the big building and pressed the button that led to the Composure floor.
Karina broke down and leaned her head on the elevator wall. “Why? Why does this always happen to me? I get this great guy, and everything’s amazing for a week and a half, and suddenly, it’s over and I’m mystified!” she cried.
The people inside the elevator were looking at the girl with furrowed eyebrows and you glared at them, making them look the other way.
“Mingyu and I had such a connection” she gushed over him. “Like-like the first time we had sex, it was so beautiful. I even cried” she said.
You pressed your lips together, suddenly very aware of the people inside the elevator. “You mean like, shed a tear, wiped it with a finger. Right?”
“No, I was very emotional. I even told him that I loved him” she explained, with a shake of her head.
“After how many days?” Ryujin asked sipping on her coffee to hide her grimace.
“Five” she said and then looked the other way. “Two”
You and Ryujin sighed loudly.
“But… I just felt like he needed to know” she said.
“Well, what did he say?” you asked.
Karina sighed. “He didn’t have to say anything. I knew he felt the same as me” she smiled and then she frowned. “But then he started getting really busy… I didn’t know where he was at times. I kept calling him, calling him and calling but he was never home!”
“You kept calling him?” You asked, wincing.
“Well he wasn’t answering” she defended herself. “Plus he didn’t know it was him, my number was blocked”
“Oh sweetie” Ryujin said. “I’m sure he thought it was one of his friends”
The elevator dinged and you got out, Ryujin and Karina following behind.
“Rina, honey. You do realize you were way too pretty for him? I mean, you were like Kaia Gerber when she was dating Pete Davidson!” you explained. “You need to be in a relationship like Megan Fox and Machine Gun Kelly, you can’t decide which one is hotter”
Karina huffed. “Maybe but… for me, he was really handsome. And cute. Ugh, he was perfect” she said and a few tears slipped from her cheek.
“No, wait. Don’t cry honey. What Y/N and I want to say is that you need to realize that if this guy didn’t like you for who you were, then screw him” Ryujin explained.
“Yeah, but I know why he dumped me. I’m too fat”
“You’re not fat!” both you and Ryujin said.
As you climbed up the stairs to get to your respective offices you sighed. “Okay, Rina, look. Even if the most beautiful girl in the world acted the way you did, a normal guy would still be running in the other direction” you said, as your friends followed behind you.
“No guy would be running away from you, Y/N” Karina said. “I mean, you could barf all over him and he’d say, “Thank you, can you please do it again?”” she said, making you laugh.
“Okay, that is absolutely disgusting and totally not true!” you laughed at her metaphor. “Cause if I did the things you did, I’d get dumped too. Anyways, enough with this Mingyu bullshit. I got two tickets for the Knicks game for tomorrow that Ryujin got from his cousin, and since you’re the only one available, you could join me, maybe?”
“Nah thanks, I’d like to sit in my misery for a couple more days” Karina sighed.
The three of you got inside Seulgi’s office along with other co-workers.
“Alrighty, family. What do we got for the next issue?” Seulgi asked.
Ryujin raised her hand. “As you asked, I got the latest The Bachelor drama covered, and I also answered a few of the questions users asked us on the website”
Seulgi nodded. “Great work, Ryujin. What about How-To with Y/N?”
You smiled. “I worked on something different and completely new for the issue. It’s uh… a political piece--”
“--Y/N. You work for Composure magazine. Not Forbes” Seulgi said sternly. “We are fashion, drama, gossip, cosmetic surgeries, you name it. That’s what Composure is about”
“Yeah, I know but--”
“Y/N, you writing in the column is new for you, I get it. But you’re working for me , and until I decide when you are going to write whatever you want, you write whatever I want. Okay?”
“Yeah” you nodded, looking at your skirt, not wanting to look Seulgi in the eyes.
“Karina, what do you got?” Seulgi sighed.
She lifted her head and paled. “I…Uh… sorry, Seulgi. I wasn’t feeling very well” Karina said.
“She got dumped” Ryujin quickly filled in, earning a glare from Karina.
“Oh, no… Karina. It must be feeling hellish for you these past few days, but I must say you’re looking gorgeous” Seulgi complimented. “Doesn’t she?” she asked and everyone nodded, complimenting her.
Karina sighed. “I haven’t been eating since the split”
“Good for you! Write about it” Seulgi said. Ryujin and you looked at each other and grimaced.
“I can’t use my personal life as a story” she said, her voice small.
Seulgi smiled. “I understand completely. Who will use Karina’s story for their article?” she asked suddenly.
“No, no, no. Wait, Seulgi. With all due respect no one has business here using my story for an article in a magazine, I’m sorry but--”
“I’ll do it” you said suddenly, an idea clicking in your mind.
“What?” Karina looked at you.
“I-I’ll sort of do it. You’ll be my inspiration” you said. “Like, look at Karina. She’s a great girl, right?” you asked, and Seulgi nodded with a curt yes and nodded for you to continue. “An amazing woman. But… she has a problem hanging onto relationships. No offense. And probably, doesn't know what she’s doing wrong, like it could happen to our readers. So, my idea was that I could start dating this guy and then drive him away but only using these common mistakes like girls like Rina or our readers commit all the time. I’ll even… keep a diary of it and it will be sort of a dating how-to in reverse”
Karina smiled at you and Seulgi clapped her hands together. “What not to do. Brilliant!”
“Yeah”
“How to lose a guy in 10 days” Seulgi said. “Loved it, go. Now Sunoo, what’s the shoe story you wanted--”
“I’m sorry, Seulgi. Ten days? Why ten days?” you asked.
Her eyebrows arched. “Well, I figured 5 days is too short and we go to press in 11, so…” she said.
Karina and Ryujin gave you thumbs up, making you smile at them, but innerly wondering how the hell would you manage to do this in only ten days.
-------------------
Felix Lee arrived at his office, parking his motorbike and taking off his helmet. As always, earning smiles and flirtatious looks from the ladies in the streets, but he loved the attention.
Working as a publicity chief had its perks. You could share an office with your best friends and have an assistant that brings you lunch or whatever you want, but it also had its drawbacks like having a boss who’s riding your ass. That was Felix’s case.
Felix got inside the building and into his office. “What’s up, Hyunjinnie?” he said.
Hyunjin looked up from his computer and smirked. “Oh, hey, Lix”
Jisung, his other best friend, got inside with a worried look. “Did you hear?”
“Hear what? About the Knicks game tomorrow? I did, and it’s pretty terrible, cause I didn’t get the tickets--”
Jisung sighed. “Not about the Knicks game. De Lauer diamonds is looking for a new ad agency and Mr. Park wants to move it aggressively”
“Yes!” Felix smiled. “Yes! This is a good day. Guys, did you know that diamonds are as common as taxis on Fifth Avenue?” he asked while taking his shirt off, and grabbing his dress shirt from the desk. The women in the office every day went crazy whenever he came in with a normal, regular shirt and changed it for a formal one. “The value is entirely sentimental… but we do have game in what we do the best. Advertising. So, my point is--” he said while buttoning his shirt up. “De Lauer owns the diamond market, meaning, if I represent them, I basically own everyone’s ass in the industry” he smiled.
Hyunjin sighed. “That’s the thing, Mr. Park already gave it to the Chaeyoung’s”
Felix’s eyes narrowed. Son Chaeyoung and Park Chaeyoung were his number 1 competitors inside the publicity business. “No way!”
“Yeah, it kind of makes sense when you have a pair of hot leggy chicks and we’re the beer and sneakers division, you know?” Hyunjin said.
“No way, I’ll have this deal” Felix said.
Jisung and Hyunjin stepped in his way. “No, Mr. Park is on a plane right now, business meeting. He’s having dinner with the Chaeyoung’s tonight”
“Where?”
“At Yu Bar” Jisung said and Hyunjin nodded.
“That fancy shithole? I’ll crash there and claim what’s ours guys. This will be my pitch, my account, my campaign, my baby. I make the rules now” he smirked.
“It’s kind of hard when you have a millionaire right above your ass but we get your point bro, we’re with you” Hyunjin said with a shrug.
“Hell yeah” Jisung smiled.
----------------------
After work, you and the girls prepared yourselves to set a trap for the guy you were going to use for this ‘How To Lose a Guy in 10 Days’.
You put on your best dress and put the plan in action, heading to Yu Bar, Karina’s parents restaurant.
“I don’t think this will work, Y/N” Karina said with a frown walking down the street.
“Of course it will work, Rina. Just watch me hook a guy with my charms, like woo him a little that will make him want to see me again and then tomorrow I’ll pull the switch and make him nuts” you explained with ease.
“Please tell me you’re not gonna burn down his apartment or bite him, are you?” Ryujin asked.
You laughed at her comment. “No, I’m gonna limit myself to doing everything girls do that make men run off” you shrugged. “That means being clingy, needy--”
“Touchy-feely” Ryujin added and you nodded. “Oh, call him in the middle of the night just to tell him everything you had to eat that day” she smirked devilishly.
“What’s wrong with that?” Karina asked, making you and Ryujin stop dead in your tracks. “I’m kidding”
You got inside Yu Bar and Karina gave a wink to the man guarding the door, letting him know they had free access to eat.
“Well, Ryujin and I will grab a couple of drinks, in the meantime, you go search for a man that could easily fall for your trap” Karina said and grabbed Ryujin’s hand, guiding her to the bar.
You nodded and looked around. Let’s get the plan started, you smirked to yourself.
---------------
Mr. Park arrived at Yu Bar with the Chaeyoung’s behind him.
“Hello Felix. What a surprise seeing you here” he said, surprised to see the freckled blonde sitting on the table he exclusively reserved for him and the Chaeyoung’s.
The girls behind him scowled at the intrusive blonde, and he winked at them.
“Hello, Mr. Park. How’s it going?” he smirked, standing to shake the man’s hand. “Son, Park” he nodded to them.
“I’m great, but what are you doing here?” he asked with a shake of his head, confused at the situation.
He sat down. “Well, I’m here for the meeting. I know I wasn’t invited but I should’ve. It was my tip De Lauer was shopping for a new firm” he smirked at the girls.
“Yes, it was. But I was thinking about who suits best within the company” Mr. Park said.
“And that’s me” Felix said confidently.
“Felix, I know you sell blow pretty well. But these ladies sell luxury faster than anyone” He said.
The blonde sighed, irritated to hear how his boss was complimenting his worst enemies.
“We’re here to sell diamonds, mostly women. Because let’s face it. Women love diamonds and if we can make them seem appealing to them then boom” the freckled man said. “Selling a diamond to a woman is like making her fall in love. Like talking about head-over-heels in love, his-and-her towels, let’s grow old together, L-O-V-E, love” he explained. The Chaeyoung’s were giving him a strange look. “Look, I love women. I do. I respect them, and listen to them. And that’s why I can sell myself to any woman, anytime, any day, anywhere” he said.
“Make a woman fall in love with diamonds or with you, Felix?” Son Chaeyoung asked.
Felix was taken aback with the question. “Either way… I’m pretty confident” he said.
“I’d like to see you prove that” Park Chaeyoung challenged.
“Oh, you would?”
She laughed. “The agency is co-hosting a party for the De Lauers at the museum. The party is in a week from sunday. Think you can make a woman fall in love with you by then?” Park Chaeyoung asked.
Felix’s eyes narrowed and smiled a little. “Ten days?”
“Any woman, anytime, anywhere?” Son Chaeyoung chimed in.
“Yeah well, any woman, who’s single, straight and available, yeah” he said.
Park Chaeyoung smirked. “Then it’s settled. I’ll choose a woman from this bar. Anyone. And then you decide”
Felix turned around with a smirk. “So, who’s the lucky girl?”
Son Chaeyoung recognized you from the Composure offices as she was friends with both Mr. Park and Kang Seulgi. “Her” she pointed at you with an evil smirk.
Felix turned around and saw you. His heart fluttered a little bit when he saw you throwing your head back in a laugh with a drink in your hands, facing your friend Karina. He smiled and nodded. “Done”
“What?”
“Done. You’re on” he nodded at Son Chaeyoung. “You both are. But here are the stakes” he specified, making Mr. Park’s eyebrows arch. “After I win this bet, the pitch is mine”
“Agreed” Son Chaeyoung said.
“Mr. Park?”
“Agreed” he said. “You come to that party with a girl that’s really in love with you, Felix, and you can make the pitch to the De Lauers.”
The Chaeyoung’s looked at each other and sighed.
“To the De Lauers” Mr. Park said, raising a toast to the four of them.
-----------------
“Okay guys, this is not going as I thought it would. I charmed my way with two guys in ten minutes. The first one was gay, and the second one was married.” you sighed, dropping your ass on the stool. “Saw the fucking ring on his finger and the wallpaper on his phone”
Ryujin rubbed your arm. “You’ll find him. Don’t worry. Here’s your Manhattan” she said, handing you the drink.
You noticed that your purse was not with you and you slapped yourself on the forehead. “Shit, I forgot my purse on the other side of the bar. I’ll be right back” you said, hopping off the stool.
You made your way to where the purse was, and grabbed it. You were about to walk to where your friends were until a blonde, handsome, freckled, and sexy guy was standing right in front of you. Your eyes widened.
“Hi” he said.
“Hi” you said, looking him up and down, while he did the same. “Y/N Y/L/N” you said and stretched your hand out.
He smiled and took it. “Felix Lee”
“Cute”
“Thank you” he said smugly.
You scoffed. “I meant your name”
“Thank you two times”
“Unattached?” you asked.
“Currently” he nodded, sipping his drink.
“Likewise”
“Surprising” he said.
“Psycho?”
“Rarely” he said and you hummed. “Interested?”
“Perhaps” you played hard to get.
“Hungry?”
“Starved actually” you said, twirling your hair with a finger.
“Leaving” he said confidently.
“Now?”
“Yep”
“Okay” you nodded. “Let me get my stuff then, Felix Lee”
“I’ll meet you at the door” he said, and walked up to the entrance with a smile on his lips.
You walked up to Karina and Ryujin and squealed. “Guys, I think I got one” you said.
“But he was married” Karina protested.
You laughed. “No, not him. The cute blonde who’s waiting at the door with the leather jacket”
Ryujin peeped from just above your head and gasped. “Holy cow. He’s really cute”
“I’m gonna check if he’s a keeper. He promised he wasn’t psycho, though” you said, grabbing your purse. “I’m doing this for you. Bye guys”
You walked through the crowd until you reached Felix, who put a hand on your back and led you outside. You walked up to a car that was right by the entrance, thinking it was his until he grabbed your hand and led you to a motorcycle parked right next to it.
You scoffed. “I… a bike?” you stammered.
“Yep. Here, I use the black one, and you the goofy-looking white helmet” he said, handing you the helmet with a smile.
Your eyebrows furrowed. “You always pick up girls like this? Cause I’m telling you it is not charming at all” you said, laughing.
“Come on Y/N Y/L/N” he said, and you grabbed the helmet putting it on your head. He then let out a cute giggle and knocked on the helmet with his knuckles softly. “Beautiful”
---------------
After you grabbed food, you headed to his apartment. He dropped his stuff on the kitchen table and offered to take off his jacket that was clinging to your shoulders.
“So, I never got to ask you this but uh… what do you exactly do for a living? Cause let me tell you, this is a great apartment” you said, looking around.
“I’m in advertising” he said, putting the coat on the hanger beside the door. “I work mostly with alcoholic beverages and athletic companies, and now our big break is with jewelry companies” he said, turning around to face you.
“Huh. That’s pretty good. I love it”
“You?” he asked, grabbing two beers from the fridge.
“I work at Composure” you said, grabbing the bottle he offered to you.
His eyebrows raised at that. “Wow, fastest selling women's magazine in the US, that’s amazing” he smiled at you. “What do you write about? How to save a shopaholic’s life?”
You gasped. “Oh, wow. Calm down, sparky. I got a journalism degree from Columbia, thank you very much. My boss loves me and if I kiss her ass a little more, I will write about whatever the hell I want” you said proudly, sipping on your newly opened beer.
“Like shoes- Ow” he said, his comment earning a punch. He laughed and rubbed his shoulder.
“No, smarty pants. I want to write about politics. Or… alcoholic beverages and athletic gear” you teased and he laughed.
Felix smiled. “You’re mean. Do you bite?”
“Sometimes. I can if you want me to, freckles” you said with a glint in your eyes, that made his darken.
He licked his lips. “Do you want to go to my room?” he asked. “You know, it’s pretty much… comfy there”
You smirked. “Yeah, let me go to the bathroom, real quick”
You walked to the bathroom and locked yourself in there, stifling your laugh. You caught this playboy-like guy who was too cocky for his own good. You dialed Ryujin’s number and looked at yourself in the mirror.
“Are you at his apartment? I can’t believe you, Y/N!” Ryujin squealed.
“Yes, yes. I got him”
“You’re not gonna sleep with him are you?” Karina asked.
You rolled your eyes. “No, Rina. I have self-control. Unlike other people”
Karina gasped. “That was mean. That hurt”
Meanwhile, Felix lit some candles and put them in his room, smirking at himself.
“You have to take down notes. Remember the article” Ryujin said.
“Yeah, I know, Ryu. I gotta go. I’ll text you guys the details then. Bye” you said and pressed the red button, finishing the call and straightening up your dress. This was going to be fun.
You got out of the bathroom and took in his room, all lit by candles while a slow R&B song was playing in the background.
“Wow, this is impressive” you said, grabbing the beer you had left on the stand.
He sat on the chest of drawers he had and patted the empty space. You smiled and sat down next to him, dropping your purse next to you and sipping on your beer. You two stayed in silence, just enjoying each other’s company, until you got bored of it, and grabbed the back of his neck, pulling him in for a kiss.
He let you for a couple of seconds until he pulled his head back a little with a groan. “Wait, let’s not go too fast” he whispered.
Your heart sank. He’s not as easy as I thought. Blinking several times, you nodded, fake blushing, trying to guilt-trip him into kissing you.
You tried to take a sip from your beer but he pushed it away and kissed the breath out of you. He made you stand up, your kiss never breaking. Wrapping your arms around him, you opened your mouth and welcomed his tongue. You felt the control slipping from your fingers and pulled away.
“We’re moving too fast” you panted against his lips.
He nodded but you kissed him again, and he followed your lead. The kiss was hungry and he grabbed your ass, making you moan a little loud against his lips. His hands dropped to your thighs, lifting you up a little and you both dropped on the bed. Felix grabbed your leg, caressing the skin there, gripping your flesh and it made you both pull away at the same time.
“Too fast” you said in unison.
You both sat up and looked at each other.
“We respect each other right?“ You asked.
“If you respect me, I respect you”
“Good” you said, and dropped a kiss on his lips.
A few minutes later, your cab arrived and you walked down the street opening the door of the taxi. You heard someone whistling and you looked up, seeing Felix in his balcony, smirking at you.
He waved at you and you waved back.
“Ah, you are already falling in love with me” he said, pushing his tongue against the inner side of his cheek.
You smiled from down the street and blew him a kiss. “I’m gonna make you wish you were dead. Poor guy”
And then you were gone, and he was back in his apartment. He turned around and bit his lip, noticing that you (purposely) forgot your purse on his chest of drawers.
“Smart girl” he said, with a nudge of his head.
--------------
Day 2
Felix dropped the purse on his office desk. Hyunjin and Jisung sat studying the bag, their eyes running all over the leather object.
“Have you looked inside of it?” Hyunjin asked.
He shook his head. “No, I waited to be with you so you could give me advice on how to play my next move” Felix said, sitting down on his chair.
Jisung rolled his eyes. “Dude you’re the expert with chicks here”
“I know. But you think she’ll bother if I put my hands inside her purse?” he asked, sipping on his coffee.
Hyunjin tried to grab it but ended up throwing it to the floor and all the things inside spilled on the floor. Jisung smacked the back of his head, making the elder grumble and rub the sore spot.
“Great job, knobhead” Felix said and the three guys kneeled down to check the things inside your purse. “Wait guys” he said as he looked at a white envelope. “What’s this?” he asked, opening it and he took out two Knicks game tickets.
His eyes widened and so did his friends’.
“She’s so hot. I don’t even have to see her face to know she is” Hyunjin said, clenching his eyes.
“That she is. But she’s also a smart little shit. She wanted me to find them” Felix said smugly, getting up and dropping them on his desk.
Jisung’s eyebrows arched. “Felix, you guys met when she had already her purse with her”
Felix didn’t pay him attention and smirked.
---------------
Meanwhile, your office was full of white roses, and you gasped looking at the scene. Ryujin next to you laughed. “Okay, what did you give him? A love spell?”
“What the hell is this?” you asked.
Karina searched the flowers for a card and found one, and read it out loud. “One hundred times more beautiful than a hundred roses. Where the fuck do you find these guys?”
You laughed and felt your heart flutter. No, wait. This was all planned. You rolled your eyes at yourself. “He works in advertising, of course he had to give me flowers with a catchy pick up line”
Ryujin laughed. “You think?”
You gasped. “This means he found the Knicks tickets” you said. Karina gasped. “I’m mean, I know. I’ll call him”
Just before you could dial his number, your phone rang.
“Y/N Y/L/N, Composure offices” you said, knowing it was him.
Felix put the phone on speaker and gave his friends a smug smile. “Hey, hey pretty girl. Received my flowers?”
You sighed. “I did. I got now a really embarrassing display of roses in my office” you said, rolling your eyes with a smirk on your face.
Felix laughed. “You are welcome, I had a really good time last night” he said charmingly. “I have your bag”
“Oh, I know. I forgot it. Such a klutz” you said, your friends stifling their laughs with their hands.
Felix sighed. “Well, you must need it back. You know, all the cash, credit cards… Knicks game tickets for tonight” he taunted. His friends gave him a thumbs up.
You fake gasped. “You are a very bad boy, Mr. Lee. You’ve been peeking through my bag! Haven’t they taught you manners?”
He scoffed. “No, absolutely not. My art director and pal Hyunjin, who’s such a dumbass, knocked it over by accident” he said and kicked Hyunjin’s leg without even looking at him.
“Ow! Yeah, I’m a dumbass, sorry” he said, wincing.
“Alright. I’m sorry, though. I’m going with someone else to the game.
Felix smirked. “Well, not anymore. You forgot your bag by ‘accident’? You obviously wanted me to go to the game. You just didn’t know how to ask. But save the begging, pretty girl, I’ll go with you”
You gasped internally. Cocky, you mouthed to your friends. “You are so full of yourself, tell me. Does that psychobabble work with everybody?” you asked, leaning forward on your desk.
“You tell me”
“You are so mean” Karina whispered.
You pressed your lips together, pretending to think about it. “Alright, you win, handsome. Meet me at the seventh avenue entrance. Don’t be late”
“You got it. Bye bye”
“Bye” you said and hung up the phone.
Ryujin and Karina let their laugh out. “He’s dead” Ryujin said.
-------------------------
It was Knicks night and you and Felix were sitting very close to the court. He was in awe.
You and Felix booed, cheered, yelled and clapped, you were both ecstatic.
An hour later, the game was about to end, the team calling for a 20-second-time and break began. That meant that the fan cams were on. It was time for the kissing cam and you both laughed at the couples kissing. You gasped when the camera pointed at both you and Felix and laughed, looking at each other.
You patted your cheek but he quickly grabbed your neck and planted a heavy kiss on your mouth. The crowd erupted in cheers as the kiss grew hotter and you pulled away, with a red face. He sat there licking his lips, proud of your reaction.
The break time was finished and the game began once again. An idea popped in your head.
“Lixie, babe?” you asked with a pouty face.
He didn’t even look at you. “What-what?” he asked.
“I’m kind of thirsty, Lix” you whined.
“Yeah okay” he said and continued cheering on the team.
You frowned and sighed. “Felix, can you get me a soda? I’m parched” you whined.
Felix couldn’t believe what he was hearing. She wants a soda right now? Just when the game’s ending? “I’ll get it right after the game, baby” he said, glancing at you.
“I’m really thirsty” you smiled at him with a little pout and he looked at you. “I’ll get it” with a sigh, you mumbled.
He made you stop. “No, hang on. I’ll get it” he sighed and ran quickly to the shop, up the stairs.
Felix ran to the shop and asked for a coke. When he finally got it, he went back to the bleachers.
“Here” he said, handing it to you and quickly stretching up his neck to see what he missed.
You took a sip and pretended to gag. “Ugh, Felix. I forgot. I wanted a diet coke. Not regular” you whined.
Felix looked at you and you noticed he was very irritated. He pursed his lips furiously. “I’ll- Wait a second” he said and got back to the shop, right after, the crowd started counting from 5 to 0.
When the player scored, Felix missed by a few seconds on the shop TV. Everyone cheered and he stood there, watching the TV furiously. Felix kicked an empty soda cup on the floor angrily. He had missed the most important part of the game.
Once they were out of Madison Square Garden, you grabbed onto Felix’s arm and sighed. “What an exciting game, dude” you said with a smile. “I’ve never had so much adrenaline in my body, let me tell you”
Felix sighed. “Yep, pretty good game” he said.
“Oh, too bad you missed it” you said with a cheeky smile and stopped a cab. He bit his lips and let out a little smile. She’s lucky she’s cute, he thought.
The cab stopped and he opened the door for you. You stood watching him. “So… I’ll see you later, huh?” you asked.
He nodded. “I hope so”
You smiled and handed him the soda cup. He kissed you holding your waist and then when he pulled away, he winked at you. You got inside the car and closed the door.
Felix stood there watching the cab speed off. “Nice” he said, drinking the rest of the soda.
-------------------
Day 3
Felix was in a business meeting when his assistant peeked in and knocked.
“I’m sorry to interrupt, Mr. Park. But Mr. Lee has an important call” she said with a wince.
He nodded. “Leave them a message, Yunjin please” Felix told her.
“It’s Y/N, Mr. Lee” she smiled.
He looked at Mr. Park for permission, and he sighed, nodding. “Make it quick”
Felix grabbed the phone and hit the accept call button.
“Hello?”
“It’s me! Baby!” You squealed.
“Uh, I’m in a business meeting right now, babe. I can’t call you now. Can I call you later, though?” he offered.
“It’s just that I miss you so much, baby-boo-boo-boo” you said with a baby voice. Ryujin and Karina were next to you and were holding onto each other, trying not to cackle.
“Well I miss you too” he said, with a smile, trying to ignore the baby voice.
“You busy tonight?”
“Uh, I’m not. Can we catch a movie or something? You can pick if you want” he said. “The cinema on the fourth is making a retro movie night” he said.
“A movie? My choice?” you squealed.
“Yeah”
“I’m so excited! I’ll call you later then, Lixie-Boo” you said.
“Bye, hon” he said, and hung up. A little smile was playing on his lips. “I think this is working, ladies and gentlemen” he yelled and clapped his hands, making Mr. Park shake his head with a little chuckle.
------------------
Movie night was on and the one you had picked was the most cringey you could find in retro-movie night: You’ve Got Mail.
You were eating popcorn and while you were enjoying the movie, you needed him to get irritated by your comments. “I always wanted a man like Tom Hanks” you said. “This is like my favorite movie of all time” you lied.
“Yeah me too” he said. You stopped eating. Shit, you thought, bad movie choice.
Someone shushed you from behind your seats and you kept quiet.
You bit your lip. “What are you thinking about?” you digged.
Felix forced a smile. “Movie. I’m thinking about the movie” he said, not bothering to look at you.
You smiled and played with his hair. “Yeah but what are you thinking about?”
He sighed, slightly enjoying the feeling of your fingers on his hair but hating the way you were trying to make conversation in the middle of You’ve Got Mail. “The movie”
You nodded and tried to think about your next move. “Okay, but what? Your mind’s completely blank?” you asked, and he closed his eyes, letting out a ragged breath. “Who is she?” you asked, putting your popcorn down, feeling your forehead purse into a frown.
Felix looked at you. “Who’s who?” he asked, genuinely concerned.
“The girl you’re thinking about” You exclaimed.
“I can’t hear” the guy who shushed you before says.
“I’m not thinking about any girl, Y/N” he said.
You clicked your tongue. “I’ve dealt with enough liars! You can’t watch Meg Ryan and not think about another girl” you said.
People behind you were trying to shut you up but it didn’t work.
“You wanna know what I’m thinking?” he asked in a whisper. You nodded and he sighed. “I’m thinking about… how damn beautiful you are. And how that beautiful face like yours can believe I’m thinking about another girl, while I’m here with you” he said. “And also, how damn good this movie is. So we’re going to continue watching it”
You squealed a little bit and hugged him. “Oh, Lix, my baby” you said and kissed his face a couple of times, leaning almost on top of him. “I love sharing this with you”
“Hey! I can’t see and I can't hear” the guy behind you said.
You whirled around in your seat furiously. “If you don’t shut up, my boyfriend here will kick your ass back to where you belong” you said smugly.
“Wait, Y/N” he tried, his eyebrows furrowing in desperation.
“Oh really? Let’s see what you got, pretty boy. Outside. Now” the man said.
Felix wanted the earth to swallow him up.
------------
“Oh, Felix. Poor baby” you said, grabbing his face, sitting on the floor of the cinema entrance. His face was nestled between your breasts and he sighed contently, even if he was in pain.
“Wait. Lix let’s go to a hospital” you said. The bruise on his face was getting pretty bad and purple.
He grabbed your waist. “No, no. Stay. Stay right here”
“Okay” you said.
His face was rubbing your breasts and he let out a content moan. “Yes. Just stay still” he said with a smirk.
You laughed. “You perv”
He laughed and you grabbed his hair, lifting him from your chest.
“You’re fine. Come on” you said, getting up, offering your hands. He took them and stood up.
Felix smiled at you and dropped a long kiss to your lips.
“Let’s go Rocky” you whispered.
---------------
Day 4
Felix was planning a tranquil evening, to sit on his couch, watch the Knicks game and relax in his apartment with you. He decided that he was going to cook real nice for the both of you.
A knock startled his cooking and went to open the door.
“Come in, it’s open!” he yelled.
You got inside and smiled at him. “Hello, Lixie-Boo” you said.
He looked at you and his eyes widened. You were wearing a pretty baby blue dress. “Wow, you look gorgeous” he said.
“Thank you, sweet pea” you squealed and dropped a kiss to his cheek.
You looked at the table and saw the candles, the music in the background making it more nice than it already was.
You gasped. “Oh, honey. This is… too much, I love it” you said.
“Great! Dinner will be ready in five minutes. Go ahead and pour the wine” he said.
“I got you a couple of gifts” you said evilly. You opened the box you brought with you and inside laid a couple of teddy bears and a picture of you with the caption: you’re my, my, my, my lover.
His eyes widened. “Oh… yay” he said. What the hell is all this stuff? Is she quoting Taylor Swift to me?
“Here are two teddy bears. One of them says #1 lover because you are” you said pinching his cheek. “They’re called Lixie and Y/N. Oh! Like us” you said in a baby voice. “And then this picture of me, with Lover from T-Swift lyrics. Do you like it?” you asked.
Felix coughed. “Y-yeah, baby. Love’em” he lied. You kissed him and smiled.
“You’re so sweet. I’m gonna drop these in your room, wait up” you said.
Felix sighed once you were gone, wiping his face with his hands.
In his room, you barely contained your laughter but you tried to keep it down. Poor guy.
The Knicks game was on the TV and was about to start. Felix put the big tray of food and opened the lid. Inside was meat with veggies on it, a very nice decoration, and you hated to say, but you were impressed. Until an idea popped in the back of your head.
You pressed your lips together and let out a fake sob. “Oh, oh this is all my fault, Lix” you whispered, putting a hand over your chest.
He sat down next to you and his eyebrows furrowed. “What happened?” he asked, grabbing your hand.
“I’m– I’m a vegetarian” you sobbed. “It’s just that animal meat makes me sad” you said, fake tears escaping your eyes. The blonde sat frozen in his seat. “It’s-- it’s dead” you said.
He let out an irritated sigh. “I’m sorry, darling, I didn’t know” he muttered, shaking his head.
“It’s okay… this was beautiful. You’re beautiful” you said, wiping your fake tears and rubbing his cheek affectionately.
Later, you both found yourselves in a deli, eating veggie bowls, which Felix found disgusting, and making him completely miss the Knicks game.
You finished the food (who he labeled as cow-food), and he quickly ran to the TV to catch the Knicks game, only to find out it had already finished. He let out a grunt and dropped the remote on the couch. “Fuck” he sighed.
He let himself fall on the couch and you climbed over him, kissing the life out of him. Felix let out a surprised groan and grabbed your ass. You unbuttoned his shirt, a few buttons flying away. You couldn’t admit this to anyone, but you found him exciting.
He smirked against your lips and let his hands wander under your dress, letting his palms rest on your ass.
You wanted to up the game. “Does little Lix want to come out and play?” you groaned in his ear.
His eyes widened, while you kissed down his chest. “Uh, what?”
You lifted your head.
“Little Lix?” he asked, utterly confused.
“Well, we don’t know if he’s big or little, we’re gonna find out” you squealed and resumed kissing your way down to his crotch.
He lifted you up gently by your arm. “No, no. Baby. You can’t just… name my dick” he said with a frown.
Your eyebrows raised. “You… what are you saying? Do you want me to call it… big Lix? Cocky enough, baby?” you said in a baby voice. You almost laughed out loud at the look on his face.
“Uh… I’m-- big Lix is not ready to come out and play” he said, cringing at his own words.
You sighed with a smile. “Well, in that case. I better get going” you said and dropped a kiss to his lips. “Bye honey-bear”
When you were out the door, you snickered.
“It’s getting easier by the minute” you sing-songed with an evil laugh getting inside the elevator when a hand stopped the door from closing.
Felix smiled and got inside, grabbing your waist and lifting you up against the wall of the elevator, kissing you. His tongue got inside your mouth and tangled with yours. Your legs automatically wrapped around his waist. “Can I see you tomorrow?” he asked against your lips.
You breathed in and licked your lips. “Yep”
“Well, call me” he pecked your lips and then he was out of the elevator.
You grimaced once you made sure he wasn’t looking. “What the hell? This ain’t getting easier”
You needed to up your game, immediately.
--------------
Day 5
The next day in Felix’s office, Hyunjin and Jisung were discussing how you were getting weirder by the time the relationship went on.
“Okay, I thought you said Y/N was a goddess after the Knicks game, little Lix” Hyunjin teased, earning a punch on the shoulder from the blonde.
He laughed. “Well, that was the good Y/N, the smart, cool and sexy woman I met. Not this crazy, evil side she’s showing” he said.
“Maybe she’s bipolar--” Jisung started.
“Muffin!”
The three guys turned around to find you with a dog in hand.
“Y/N baby” he smiled at you, standing up and walking towards you. “We were just talking about you. You are looking absolutely gorgeous” he said.
“Oh, good things I hope, right baby boo?” you cooed.
He pressed his lips together and nodded.
“These are my friends! Hyunjin and Jisung!” he said, pointing behind him and they waved at you.
You gasped. “Oh Lixie told me all about you guys”
“Lixie-Boo told all about you too” Hyunjin teased the blonde, who glared at him.
“Great, well look what I just got you” you sing-songed. “I got you a puppy! His name is… guess what?” you said, clapping your hands together.
He shrugged.
“Little Lix!” you squealed.
Jisung and Hyunjin snickered behind him.
He smiled and tried to think how the fuck he was going to survive six days more if this was going to keep up like this.
When he got home, he put Little Lix in the kitchen and put water and food ready for him. He grabbed his phone and saw his voicemail was full.
You got 17 new messages from Y/N Y/L/N.
“Oh shit” he said.
He listened to every single one of them and he face-palmed himself. This is getting even harder than I thought , he thought.
He got inside the bathroom to wash his face and opened the cabinet. He froze when he found a lot of feminine products and he closed it, turning around to find two toothbrushes and a lot of girly stuff scattered in the bathroom. Felix grabbed his hair and almost yelled out.
“Fucking shit”
-----------------
Day 6
“Girls, I’m telling you. He’s not leaving me“ you said, eating from your ice cream pint.
“Are you being clingy?” Karina asked.
You nodded. “Like a bitch, yeah. I even supplied his bathroom with girly stuff, some of them I don’t even use. Then I gifted him teddy bears and I baby talk to him. I’m whiny and needy? How is he not leaving me?” you asked.
The girls laughed and continued eating ice cream.
“Either way, I gotta think about something before tomorrow” you said.
Ryujin sat up. “Wait, why not tonight?”
“It’s Poker night with his friends” you said. “Boys night”
“You’re giving him boys night?” she asked.
“They do it every week” you shrugged.
“Before… he met… you” she said.
“Ryujin, I love you”
----------------
“Bunny! I’m home!” you said, startling his friends and him.
Felix turned around and his eyebrows furrowed. “Baby, what are you doing here?” he asked, sitting up and putting the blunt he was smoking, in a plate.
“I just… I figured I could stop by and kiss you a little bit, huh? Your friends don’t mind if I steal you for about… an hour or so?” you asked.
He laughed nervously. “Honey, I told you… boys night” he said.
You pretended to be offended. “You… don’t want to see me? Do you- Oh! You think I’m crazy!” you said.
Felix’s eyes widened. “I- No! I don’t think you’re crazy, baby. I just want a boys night with--”
“Oh, I’m sure it was an excuse to hook up with other girls, and oh! I’m sure there’s one hidden here, probably in your bathroom” you fake cried. “I’m out of here, Felix” you said and walked out the door.
He followed you with Little Lix barking behind him.
“Hey, hey, hey. What was all that?” he asked, making you turn around.
You pressed the elevator button and sighed. “What?”
“You acting like a freaking maniac” he said.
You gasped and the elevator dinged. “Oh, I’m sorry. I can’t be with someone who thinks I’m mental. Bye, Felix” you said and the elevator doors closed but he pressed the button so they opened them again.
”No wait. Where’s the fun, cool, beautiful and sexy Y/N I knew? Huh?” Felix asked. “The one who wanted to be a serious journalist? You’re acting insane, like one second you’re up then you’re down!” he said.
You pursed your lips. “So I guess we’re over” you shrugged your shoulders with a glare.
“Fine!”
“Fine” you said and the elevator door closed. You smiled in victory and then it quickly fell. What the hell is happening?
Back in Felix’s apartment, Jisung and Hyunjin almost tackled him. “You’re going back, apologize and get back together with her” Jisung said. “Five more days, man. And that’s it” he said.
“No, wait. Hey. You saw how she acted back there” he said.
“Yes, but if you really want the pitch, then you’re going back to her, apologize and be her little bitch for five. More. days” Hyunjin stated.
“Do you want Son and Park Chaeyoung to be comfortable in their new office? The one that should be ours?” Hyunjin digged.
“No, of course not!” Felix said. “But what do I do? What do I tell her!?”
“Couples therapy! Literally anything” Jisung said.
“Couples therapy?” Felix asked.
This was getting way out of hand.
“Yes, now go!” Hyunjin patted his back and pushed him.
He sprinted off running to the stairs, jumping from three to three. He got to the door just in time when you got out of the building.
“Y/N! Y/N! Wait, baby boo” he said, cringing at his choice of words. “Forgive me, please. I don’t- I don’t know what I was thinking. I’m sorry” he said, kneeling on the ground.
You couldn’t believe your eyes. What the hell was this guy’s problem and why the hell why was he not running away from her?
“Can you give me another chance?” he asked, puppy eyes on.
“Haven’t you had enough?” you asked ironically, but you really meant it this time.
“I’m willing to do anything, Y/N. Please” he said, opening his arms.
You grabbed him by the collar of his shirt, making him stand up, kind of embarrassed that anyone walking down the street could see him like that.
“Like, what do you think about… couples therapy?” he asked.
A light bulb turned on in your brain. Couples therapy, huh?
“Oh, Felix. I know a therapist who’ll do wonders with you. When shall we start?” you said, intrigued about his request.
He nodded. “Tomorrow. Whenever you want” he said, desperately. “Whatever it takes”
“A kiss?” you pouted.
“Thank you, sweetheart” he said and kissed you almost making you tumble at how hard he kissed you. You had to admit, he was one hell of a kisser. “Thank you for understanding”
“Yeah, no problem, baby boo. But you’re still on probation” you said and walked away. “What the fuck did I get myself into?” you whispered to yourself.
---------------
Day 7
“If we’re really doing this, you’ll have to open up, Felix. You hear me?” you whined when you reached the ‘therapist’ apartment.
“Yeah, of course”
You knocked on the door and Karina appeared, wearing a white pajama pants and a shirt, with big ass glasses and a bun. “Y/N Y/L/N, and Felix Lee. Come in” she said with a formal voice.
Your eyebrows wiggled and tried not to laugh. You grabbed Felix’s hand and sat him down on the couch.
“So, before we start. I wanted to ask you how you were gonna pay for this session?” she asked.
You patted Felix’s back. “Sweetie?”
“Uh, yeah. How much is it?” he asked, grabbing his wallet from his jean pocket.
“Three hundred dollars the hour” she said calmly.
His eyes almost bulged out of his school when he heard the price that fell from Karina’s lips. Felix cleared his throat and reached for his wallet. Whatever it takes, then the pitch is yours. He handed Karina the bills and she cleared her throat.
“So, tell me, you guys. How long have you been seeing each other?” she asked.
“Seven days” you replied with a smile.
“Isn’t it too soon to be seeing a therapist?” Felix asked calmly.
You smiled at him. “Well, it isn’t a lifetime but it is--”
“It’s like a week” he said.
You fake gasped and looked at Karina. “Do you hear that tone? How can we not need a therapist when you’re snapping at me like that every goddamn second!” you said rather loudly.
Karina nodded. “How are things between you… I mean… sexually” she digged.
You laughed a little. “Oh, about that… he has a little problem” you said, winking at Karina. “If you know what I mean”
He shook his head. “No, Y/N. Wait. We haven’t had sex yet” he said. “And I don’t have a problem”
“Yes you do”
“No, no I don’t”
“Okay, okay. Look, the one night that we even thought about having sex you called my dick little Lix, or- or big Lix” he said, turning completely to face you. “Without even seeing it!”
“I thought it was beautiful” you said, close to fake crying.
“I see, Felix” Karina said, pushing her glasses up her nose. “When was it that you first realized you were attracted to other men?”
You had to contain your laugh at this. “Oh, it… that’s serious” you agreed.
“What? No! I love women, why-- okay. No, that it’s clearly not what happened” Felix stammered irritatedly.
“I’m hearing a lot of anger that’s been swirling inside of you for a long time, Felix” Karina said, folding her hands together.
You gasped. “Like a rage-aholic”
“No, I’m not a rage-aholic” he shouted.
“Take a deep breath, sweetie” you said, putting your hand on his arm.
“I gotta ask you this one question” Karina said. “Are you ashamed of Y/N?”
He was taken aback by the sudden question.
“Of course he is” you said.
“No, I’m not ashamed of you, Y/N” he said, putting a hand on your back.
Karina cleared her throat. “Then why don’t you… take her to meet your family, for example?” she suggested. You wanted to kill her.
Felix nodded. “Yeah, let’s go do that. You can meet my whole family, let’s go to Staten Island, you can meet them” he smiled.
“Would you like to go to Staten Island?” Karina asked you.
No! Of course not!
“Yes”
-----------------
Day 8
He parked his bike in the driveway of his family house and you were greeted by his mother once you got inside of the house.
“Oh hello, Y/N. I’ve heard so much about you!” her mother appeared with a baby in her arms.
“ Bullshit! ” you heard from the patio.
“My dad and uncles play cards every hour of the day” Felix laughed.
“ Bullshit! ” you heard again.
“You are as pretty as Felix described you on the phone the other--”
“Mom!” Felix whined.
You laughed and shook her hand. “Well, the pleasure is mine, Ms. Lee” you said.
“ Bullshit! ”
“Sweetie!” she scolded over her shoulder. “Excuse me honey, I gotta make my husband shut up for a little bit, here” she said and handed Felix the baby he was holding, who you assumed was his cousin.
Felix grabbed him happily and you couldn’t help but feel your heart swell at the sight of him holding a baby.
“I’m gonna get him cleaned up, you go out back” he said and dropped a kiss to your lips and then he was gone.
You took a deep breath and went out to the patio, finding who you assumed was his dad and his uncles. His mother saw you and dropped the cards on the table. “Everyone! Guys, everybody meet Y/N, our Felix’s girl!” she squealed.
His dad smiled and shook your hand. “Well, Felix described you as ‘beautiful’ but his words weren’t enough” he complimented you.
You blushed a little and giggled. “Well thank you, Mr. Lee”
“No worries, honey” Mr. Lee winked.
After they introduced you to the whole family, they gave you a couple of cards to play with them.
“The game is called ‘Bullshit’ as you may have heard. And we’re just in the lightning round, sweetie, you came just in time” Mr. Lee said.
Felix suddenly came in and smiled. “Well look at this. I’m gonna beat everyone’s asses, including yours baby” he winked at you, sitting down and grabbing himself some cards.
“I don’t really know how to play”
“Well, here’s the trick. You have to get rid of all the cards in your hand” His dad said.
You nodded and looked at your cards.
“Alright I’m gonna throw and say I have two aces. What do you say?” his dad asked.
Your eyebrows furrowed as you looked at your cards in hand, noticing you had three aces, which meant he could only have one. “I say bullshit”
“What did you say?” he smiled.
“I say… bullshit!” you said and everyone around you cheered.
After a couple of rounds where everyone except Felix was helping you out to win just to make him lose, you found yourself having fun, more than you had expected and more than the fun you’ve got this couple of months. The feeling was strange.
“Okay, I’ve got two kings”
You looked around and his family shook their heads. Felix caught them cheating and gasped.
“You all are cheating!” he said, making all of you laugh. “Baby! That’s treason!” he laughed.
You just laughed at him and showed him your cards. “Yep. But I won!”
“And that makes him have the lowest score out of all of us in Bullshit thanks to you, for the first time ever! I say we expect you to come here sooner” his mom said, standing up and drawing his score on a chalkboard.
You laughed. “Why? Were all his other girlfriends Bullshit losers?” you asked, sipping on your drink.
“What other girlfriends? He’s the first girl he’s ever brought home” her mom said and hugged you.
First girl he’s ever brought home? You felt special. You hated to admit it, but it was true.
“Don’t you break his heart” she whispered with a little smile and walked away.
It’s a little too late for that now.
-----------------
After the game, Felix offered to take you for a ride to meet the island on his bike. You accepted, and the blonde took you everywhere. For ice cream, for lunch, to walk in the park, down the port, everywhere. He even taught you how to ride his bike. You couldn’t help it but you felt the butterflies kicking your stomach everytime he smiled or looked at you. And he felt the same. He felt at peace that the fighting and craziness was over for good.
At a certain hour, it started to rain, soaking you from head to toe. You arrived at his home, you rode the bike while he was behind you.
He got you inside of the bathroom, shutting the door behind you.
“Alright madam, let’s have a shower, what do you say?“ he asked and turned on the hot water.
You nodded and sat on the sink, thinking about why the hell did you accept to do this to this guy. He was perfect and so good with you. If you ever told him the truth, he’d hate you, and you’d lose him.
“You can shower first if you want” he said, drying his hand with a towel.
You bit your lip and sighed.
“Is everything all right?” he asked, putting his hands on your legs, his eyes finding yours.
You smiled at him, caressing his cheek. “It’s more than okay” you said in a low voice.
He kissed your palm and pinched your leg a little. “Then tell me what’s wrong. You don’t seem okay”
You let out a breath. “I think… when your mother hugged me today, like… she really hugged me” you said, your eyes getting teary. “For winning a game at Bullshit. Like I was a part of the family” you said, a tear flowing down your cheek.
Felix’s eyebrows furrowed and he put a hand on your cheek. “But that’s a good thing, baby. Smile for me” he said with a little grin, poking your cheek with his pointer finger.
You smiled for him and his grew bigger. Your noses were almost touching and it confirmed for the both of you. Both bets were a huge mistake.
He brought your head closer to his and kissed your lips. You pulled away and searched for something in his eyes, something that would give you a red flag. You found just a glint and lust in his eyes. You kissed him again, opening your mouth for his tongue to come inside your mouth and sighed at the feeling.
Felix pulled away and you lifted your hands up, so that he could take your shirt off. He complied and saw that you weren’t wearing a bra. His eyes darkened and you hopped off the counter to take his shirt too.
You dropped it to the ground and then went to unbuckle his jeans while he did the same to yours. He pushed your panties to the ground and he pushed his underwear, too.
Felix grabbed your thighs, hoisting you up, making your legs wrap around his torso and kissed you again. He got inside the shower and pressed you against the cold tiles. His mouth on yours felt heavenly, and with every brush of his tonguey you got more and more wetter by the second.
“Fuck, you’re so beautiful” he whispered against your neck. He kissed a couple of hickeys on it and then came back to your mouth.
If anyone walked past the bathroom, they would’ve heard the breathy moans the two of you emitted and the slapping of skin on skin sound. Once you came and he did on your stomach, you stayed staring at each other. Guilt was in his eyes, thinking that you, a beautiful woman he had managed to fall in love with, and probably she did as well, was part of a stupid bet to get a stupid pitch.
You dropped your forehead on his and sighed with a smile. “That was amazing, Lix. Little Lix down there wasn't so little, huh?” you joked, making him laugh out loud.
“Well, what can I say? I’m full of surprises” he said.
You got down and you washed each other. As his arms came around you from behind and you couldn’t help but feel like shit.
If only he knew.
In the meantime, Felix rested his chin on your shoulder, leaving a little peck on your skin. He closed his eyes as soon as his lips touched you, feeling the guilt and regret wash over him.
He didn’t know how he was going to tell you, but there was one thing he knew it was certain: he didn’t deserve you.
At least, that’s what he thought.
------------------
Day 9
The ferry arrived at Manhattan and he drove his bike back to your home. He got down from the bike and walked you to the building entrance.
“Well, this is home” you said, dropping his hand.
He nodded and smiled at you. “Uh, Y/N? I wanted to ask you back at Staten but uh… my boss is throwing this party for the diamond account I was telling you about and I was wondering if you wanted to go with me? You know… as my date?” Felix asked, clearly nervous. “As my girlfriend” he stated.
You smiled at him and put your hand on his cheek. “Are you calling me your girlfriend?”
“Yeah, I am” he said, sure of himself.
You pressed your lips together. “Tomorrow will be the tenth day of seeing each other.”
“I know” he said with a sigh. “Well, I’ll see you tomorrow huh?”
“Yeah, absolutely. Should I dress fancy?” you asked.
“As fancy as you want… but still fancy” he said.
You nodded. “Perfect” you pressed a kiss to his lips and when you pulled away, you hugged him. He felt so good. You didn’t want to let him go just yet, or tell him what you were doing, or him to find out via the magazine.
As you pulled away, he kissed your head and let you go inside.
“Bye” you blew him a kiss.
“Bye”
---------------
Day 10 - final day-
You barged inside Seulgi’s office with a very worried face on you. You let out a breath and sat down on the couch.
“Seulgi? I can’t- I can’t write this article” you stated.
Her eyebrows furrowed and sat down on her chair. “What? Why not? Is your computer broken or something? Figure it out”
“No, it’s not that” you said. “I just… I’ve got to know this guy. He’s amazing. He doesn't deserve this, I really like him, Seulgi. Please” you pleaded.
“Okay. Who’s the boss here?”
“You” you sighed.
“Then you write what I tell you to write. And that means the article” she said strictly, not even bothering to look at you while she was paging down a magazine. “You’ll do the article, because you are a professional. That’s what professionals do”
“Yes I am” you whispered.
“Great. Now go. I want the article in less than 48 hours”
-----------------
The night fell and Felix arrived at your house. He was wearing a fancy tux, but he managed to keep it a little less formal. He took a deep breath and cracked his neck. Felix grabbed his phone and sent you a text.
Lix: I’m here xx
He blushed at the thought of you on a fancy dress. His thoughts were interrupted by his phone vibrating in his pocket.
You: be right down. Wait up xx
His heart picked up speed when he heard the door of your building opening. You stood there with a yellow fancy dress with an open cut back. You did a little twirled and took a second to admire him. He was so beautiful, it hurt your eyes.
The chauffeur from his car smiled at the interaction.
“Hey” you said timidly.
He just stared, he couldn’t believe you were his.
“Wow, you are so beautiful” he said, pressing a kiss to your lips.
You blushed and ran your fingers through his hair. “You’re looking good too, sparky” you said putting your arm around his and getting inside the car.
Once you reached the museum, you could only gawk at how much diamonds were used for this party. It almost hurt your eyes.
“Wow, okay. This wasn’t what I expected at all” you said, looking up only to find a very big, sparkly chandelier.
Felix nodded, chuckling at your face. “You should come more often to these things with me”
You gasped and elbowed him. “What? So you can see me with a fancy dress more often?”
He shrugged. “Maybe” he teased, making you laugh.
Hyunjin and Jisung appeared wearing very formal suits and they waved at you. “Hey guys” you said.
“Oh, great. Stay with them, I’ll go grab us some champagne” he said, kissing your cheek.
You smiled at him and watched him leave while Jisung told an incredibly boring story of how he managed to get a date.
“Uh, guys. I’ll go sit by the table, there are some snacks there. If you’ll excuse me” you said, and excused yourself, really not wanting to deal with those noisy boys.
Hyunjin and Jisung stood watching you when they felt hands on their shoulders. The Chaeyoung’s were staring at them with an evil grin on them.
“News for you guys” Son Chaeyoung said.
They looked at each other. “We don’t want to deal with you snakes today” Jisung said.
Park Chaeyoung scoffed. “I just wanted to let you guys know that we know that Felix cheated” she said.
Hyunjin’s eyebrows furrowed. “What do you mean cheated?” he asked in a monotone voice.
“We know he told this girl about the bet even before they started dating” Park Chaeyoung said.
Jisung and Hyunjin looked at each other, wide-eyed.
“We’ll go tell Mr. Park if you don’t hurry up” Son Chaeyoung said, and then, they were gone.
“Shit, we gotta do something” Jisung said.
They ran to the table you were sitting and sat down next to you, startling you mid-eating a snack. You furrowed your eyebrows at their state.
“Hey, Y/N. We know you know about the bet. Okay? And we need you to play dumb when Mr. Park asks you if you fell in love with Felix” Hyunjin said.
Your stomach dropped. A bet? What bet? You were about to ask until it dawned in you. This was all a bet. Felix made a bet, in which he had to make you fall in love with him (in which he succeeded).
“A bet?” you asked in a small voice.
Jisung nodded. “Yeah, the bet… you know, he’d get the pitch if you fell in love with him” he said.
You played dumb. “Of course” you faked a smile. Internally you were just trying to keep the tears to yourself.
Meanwhile…
Felix was heading to their table when Kang Seulgi intercepted him.
“Hello Felix. What a pleasure it is to see you” she said with a smile.
He nodded and smiled at the elderly woman. “Yeah, nice to see you too. I gotta head back to my table, there’s this beautiful woman waiting for me-- right there” he said with a smug grin and pointed at you.
Seulgi perked up and gasped. “Y/N? Oh she’s my How-To girl in Composure” she said.
“Your How-To girl?” he asked confusedly.
“Yes. Right now she’s working on an article called How To Lose a Guy in 10 Days” she said and his smile visibly dropped. You were just using him for… an article? Her laugh made him come back from his thoughts. “This poor guy she’s been pretending to date-- wait, she’s actually dating this guy trying to scare him off by making mistakes girls do when--” when she saw the face that Felix and she stopped talking, realizing he was the guy you were dating. “Oh… oh, I’m sorry” she whispered and excused herself.
He pressed his lips together and downed his champagne glass. He saw you getting up from your chair, grabbed your purse and headed for the exit. Felix followed you, steam flying out of his ears.
When you reached the street you heard his shouting. “No, no, no. Y/N Y/L/N get back here” he said.
You stopped in your tracks and looked at him.
“You used me! Just to get a stupid fucking pitch! You played with my feelings, you made me believe you actually care about me” you yelled at him.
Your words would’ve hurt him if he wasn’t angry enough about the article thing.
“I used you? You drove me insane for that article from your stupid magazine, okay?” he said angrily.
“You told people you could make me fall in love with you, like I’m just some random girl that needed saving, you backstabbing jerk” you said, hitting him with your purse.
Felix stood, pressing his lips together, figuring out what to say next. “So that was what I was, huh? A stupid guinea pig you could use for your experiments?”
“Yeah and I was just some girl you picked up from a bar because you feel bad for her, sitting all alone with a drink in her hands” you said more calmly.
He chuckled ironically. “Well, you did it. Good job. You wanted to see if you could lose a guy in 10 days, congratulations. You just lost him” he said, and turned away from you.
“No, I didn’t, Felix”
He turned back to face you.
“Because you can’t lose what you never had” you cried out.
He watched as you turned away and called a cab. His heart was hurting so much. Felix took a shaky breath in and headed back to the party.
---------------
Day 11
“Well, this wasn't what I was expecting” Seulgi said, pushing her glasses up her nose. “But it’s better” she said gladly.
You chuckled and smiled at her. “I’m glad you like it”
“Now this is my time to free you from my leash. You can write whatever you want now” she said, putting your recently printed article in a folder.
Your eyebrows perked up at her saying. “That means I can write like… about politics, economics, religion, or--”
“No, Y/N. Whatever you want means what Composure is about, shoes, dramas, what’s new in Oscar de La Renta’s new dresses, you get what I mean” Seulgi said, flicking her wrist at you.
This wasn’t what you expected. Writing an article about a guy you did end up falling in love with wasn’t even worth it. In the end, Kang Seulgi had tricked you into making you write whatever she wanted.
You nodded and sighed. “Thank you for the opportunity, Seulgi” you said slowly. She smiled at you. “And thank you for making it easier for me to turn it down” you said, heading for the door. “My resignation letter will be arriving at your mail very soon” you said and then you were out of the door, leaving Seulgi shocked to her very core.
-------------------
Felix was in his office, Little Lix in his arms and he let out a sigh, looking at the Knicks game he did not attend. The tickets were laying on his desk, he had planned to give them to you after the party but that did not end up well.
A knock on his door startled him. “Hey, my man. I’ve got something for you” Hyunjin said, sitting down on a chair.
He saw it was a Composure magazine and he let out a sigh.
“I’m not gonna read that”
“No, you should” he said. Felix just shook his head and dropped Little Lix on the floor. “Okay. You win. I’ll read it to you” Hyunjin said and Felix was about to protest but he held his hands up. “ I’ve lost a guy. And I don’t know why. What went wrong? When I started writing this month’s column, I wanted to commit those certain silly dating mistakes we all commit at some time. But what I didn’t realize was that I was making the biggest mistake of my life ” he said, he lifted his eyes to watch the blonde, who was looking at the floor, with glassy eyes. “Here, read it. Trust me” he said, dropping the magazine on his desk and then he was out of his office.
He sighed and grabbed it, turning to the page where your article was. He started reading and he noticed some important lines: “ I lost the only guy I’ve ever fallen for ”; “ Best 10 days of my life ”, and one that he wasn’t expecting at all. “ This is my last article for Composure ”
His eyebrows furrowed and an idea popped in his head.
A few minutes later, he was running down Composure’s office asking everyone where the hell was your office located. He won a few glares from most of the girls but right now, he didn’t give a fuck.
He found it, and noticed it was empty. Fucking shit, Felix internally cursed. He saw a woman standing right next to her office.
“Excuse me, Ma’m” he said.
Ryujin turned around abruptly. “Holy crap. You’re Felix”
“I know. Tell me where’s Y/N” he said urgently.
“She quit” Karina appeared from behind him.
He turned around and noticed a familiarity with the girl.
“She’s got an interview right now, in Washington” Ryujin said.
“When?”
“Like, right now. She’s leaving right now” Ryujin said, checking her watch.
He turned to leave but not before he turned to face Karina. “You’re not a therapist aren’t you?”
She looked confused until she burst out laughing. “No, I’m not”
“Good job. You owe me 300 dollars”
----------------
You leaned your head on the taxi window, letting out a sigh, thinking about the events that took place that week. You knew that Composure wasn’t the best option for you since Seulgi had always done the same shit over and over again, making you think you could write about something more interesting than fashion and then taking your emotion with her. You rubbed your forehead and allowed yourself to think about Felix. There wasn’t a time that you didn’t regret what happened, but looking at the other side, he made a bet too.
Your thoughts were interrupted when you reached the Brooklyn bridge and saw someone riding a very familiar bike, wearing a very familiar helmet. Oh shit, that’s Felix.
“Sir, please pull over” Felix yelled.
You gasped at the scene. “What-- Felix? What are you doing?” you yelled. “Sir, pull over please?”
“Are you crazy, woman? We’re in the middle of the bridge” the chauffeur said.
You rolled your eyes. “I’m not feeling well, I think I’m about to puke”
“Alright, you win” he grumbled.
You got out of the car and saw him pulling the helmet over his head. “What the fuck is this Felix?” you yelled at him.
He sighed and handed you the magazine.
“Is it true?” he asked.
Your eyebrows furrowed.
“Dammit, Y/N, what you wrote in the magazine. Or were you just trying to sell a magazine?”
“I meant every word, Felix” you said, your eyes getting teary. “But that doesn’t change anything, does it?”
“It does, and you’re running away” he said.
“I’m not!” You yelled out in a high-pitched voice.
“Yes, you are. To Washington” he said.
You rolled your eyes, pinching your eyebrows. “Yes, but it’s an interview. Besides, what do you care?”
Felix was taken aback by it. “What do I care? I fucking love you Y/N. But I need to be sure it’s true”
“I already told you. It’s true and I… I love you too, Felix. But--” you said-
“But what?” he asked, stepping closer to you.
“I can’t write here. I applied for a job where I know I can write about whatever the fuck I want without a bitch that tells me I need to write what it’s accord to my gender” you said, and turned away to get back to the taxi.
“Bullshit”
You stopped in your tracks. “Excuse me?”
“Bullshit. You heard me” he said, stepping closer to you.
You couldn’t move. He reached until your noses were practically touching. He handed a couple of bills to the taxi driver and told him to send your bags back to your apartment.
“You’re having alternate transportation from now on” he said.
You sighed and looked at him, your eyes watery.
“Really? Are you serious?” you asked with a broken chuckle.
“You bet I am” he said and put his hands on your face, bringing you to a passionate kiss. You melted on it and put your arms around his neck, sighing into it. You felt complete. Finally. “I love you, so much” he said against your lips, letting his nose rub against yours.
“I love you, I love you, I love you” you mumbled, each ‘i love you’ with a kiss.
“Okay, so are you two gonna let me drive back to the ladies apartment or what?” the taxi driver grumbled, making you two laugh.
You couldn't believe how perfect this moment was. How it all started with a bet and an article that was meant for you two to find each other.
Fin.
-----------------------
i hope you liked it :) there are more Felix's fics coming in, i've been pretty busy
#stray kids x reader#stray kids smut#stray kids#skz smut#skz imagines#felix x reader#felix x female reader#lee felix x reader#lee felix#skz felix#skz x felix#felix#felix lee#lee felix smut#felix smut#felix fluff#how to lose a guy in 10 days
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Twisted Wonderland - He Hears You Singing (About Him)
Twisted Wonderland Writings Masterpost
Heartslabyul Edition, Savanaclaw Edition
Prompt: While relaxing, and doing chores around the Ramshackle dorm for your weekend restoration of the barely standing building, your thoughts drift to love songs from your old world. You think of songs that remind you of your closest fellow NRC student and significant other, and end up singing one while you work.
Reader: GN reader - They/Them pronouns and they are referred to as 'MC/Prefect' in this one. And let's all just agree that MC is a great singer- cuz some of these songs have mad vocals that I would never dream of trying to sing myself with my incredibly average voice, and I imagine a lot of you are the same.
Included Characters: Octavinelle Edition!
Warnings: None.
Request Rules & Information Here
~~~
Azul Ashengrotto - "Adore You" by Harry Styles
- Why did he stop by Ramshackle? He can't remember. It was something about taste testing the new spring menu, maybe? He's not sure it matters anymore, given how enamored he is with the sound of your voice right now.
- Is frozen in the doorway like a deer caught in headlights, he hadn't even realized it was you singing (he thought it was from your phone or something on a radio) until he turned the corner and saw you.
- When you see him, he turns all kind of shades of scarlet, embarrassed at being caught staring, but he quickly composes himself.
- Immediate compliments followed quickly by an offer to sing at the Mostro Lounge sometime- you'd be paid generously of course-
- On the outside he's acting cool, but the song in question really did fluster him quite a bit, and thoughts of you singing it again just for him keep intruding in his mind, and if you look closely you can see his ears remain a pretty shade of pink the whole conversation after.
- Does truly think you would look stunning dressed up in lavish clothes, preforming on the stage of the Mostro Lounge, are you sure you don't want to? He'll throw in a free meal plus pay!
"My, my, MC, that was a lovely performance. You should put those wonderful vocals to use, I'm sure everyone would be in awe of you at the Lounge. Some may even show up just to see you- I certainly would."
~~~
Jade Leech - "Dive" by Olivia Dean
- He's honestly quiet pleasantly surprised when he enters Ramshackle (without knocking of course) and hears your wonderful singing voice.
- A soft (dare I say genuine?) smile makes it's way to his face as he approaches the living area where you're cleaning, and stands patiently in the doorway for you to finish the song- one he's never heard before but it flows rather smoothly, much like the jazz played at the lounge.
- He finds the lyrics rather intriguing too, now what would inspire you to sing such a romantic song? A crush perhaps? The idea of you having enough of a crush on someone to sing such a song about them makes him... Well, he'll just focus on what he has right in front of him for now, and save those pesky feelings for later self-analysis.
- When you catch him he is completely shameless in his staring, as a matter of fact, his smile grows, before he gives a curious tilt of his head and motions with his hand for you to continue.
- What? Your voice was beautiful, of course he wants to hear it more. What's he doing here? Oh, well, he's come to ask if you'd like to be the first to taste test the Mostro Lounges new spring menu.
- Sure he didn't knock, but it's honestly your fault for not locking the front door- oh, the locks are broken? That can't possibly be safe. Perhaps you should stay at Octavinelle until they are fixed, that way he can hear your voice much more often.
- As a matter of fact, instead of 100 thaumarks a night for a room, he's sure he can arrange for you to sing at the Lounge every night for payment instead.
"Oh, please don't mind me, continue. Your voice is quite delightful, you should consider singing at the Lounge- though, I'm not sure I want anyone else to hear you but me..."
~~~
Floyd Leech - "Risk" by Gracie Abrams
- oHohOHo, you're never gonna live this down PT. 3
- The moment he barges into Ramshackle in a poor mood, looking for his favorite Shrimpy to cheer him up, he freezes at the sound of you're voice.
- But not for long.
- One second, you're alone, singing as you do some chores, and the next second you're being spun around in Floyd Leech's arms as he laughs cheerfully.
- He loves your voice. Keep singing! He wants to dance with you while you do! Forget those boring chores! He's here now, so you can both have fun! You're so adorable he could squeeze you till you pop!
- You should come by the lounge sometimes and sing to him to make his shifts less boring. He's sure Azul wouldn't mind- and if he does, then you two can just leave and have your own party elsewhere!
- He will, without a doubt, demand that you sing to and for him at the most random of times, hell, he might even barge into the middle of your class in a foul mood and demand a serenade from his Shrimpy.
- If you truly won't sing to him, his mood may worsen and you won't see him for awhile while he sorts himself out, whereas if you do sing for him, he will immediately start to feel better.
- The best moment he could ask for to fix his mood, is laying beside you his head in your lap, while you sing. It helps him decompress, and feel so much better from whatever was overwhelming him or souring his mood.
"Shrimpy~! Nice set of pipes! Well, don't stop singing, let's dance together! I knew you'd be doin' something fun, you always cheer me right up!"
~~~
Can you guys tell that Octavinelle is one of my favorite dorms? Particularly the twins? Especially Floyd, his unpredictability with his mood swings are very relatable as someone with severe untreated ADHD and bipolar tendencies. I just think he's neat guys. And fun to write. Anyway! Merry Christmas everyone, and I'll see you next post! ~ Roo
#fanfic#fanfic writing#fanfiction#twst#twisted wonderland#twisted wonderland disney#disney twisted wonderland#twst imagines#twst x reader#twst fanfic#twisted wonderland x reader#twst wonderland#disney twst#azul ashengrotto#jade leech#floyd leech#azul x reader#jade x reader#floyd x reader#azul twisted wonderland#jade twisted wonderland#floyd twisted wonderland#azul ashengrotto x reader#jade leech x reader#floyd leech x reader
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The Calm After The Storm
Sylus x gn!Reader
I know it isn't Christmas anymore but the vibes persist in my notes app
Warnings: fluff, domestic fluff, silly, Christmas, alcohol, drinking, kissing, cuddling, some family drama
Word Count: 834
Main Masterlist
First Love and Deepspace Masterlist
Second Love and Deepspace Masterlist
AO3
Tag List Form
You scrub a hand down your face, as if it could wipe away all the stress and overwhelm from the last few days. Booking flights, packing bags, wrapping gifts, dealing with your parents' nagging and your extended family's... whole deal. You can't wait to go back home.
Sylus sighs as he settles down beside you. His arm immediately wraps around your shoulders, drawing you into his side where you belong.
He's been your rock through all of this. When you start to lose your head to the holiday season, he's there to reel you back in. It was a real catch 22, though. He could be there to block your family's questions and interrogations, but that only brought more questions to the surface.
How did you two meet? How long have you been together? When is he going to propose? Will we finally have some grandkids? Why isn't he with his family? How big is he? (Asked by your great grandmother, utterly shamelessly.) And on, and on, and on.
For all the headache it brought you, he didn't seem too phased by the excitement. With all the grace of a businessman, he deflects, redirects, and obfuscates just enough to satisfy their questions without giving them too much of a rope to tug on.
Now that you've finally got a moment to yourself - all your relatives gone, your parents off to bed - all you want to do is sit on the couch and come down from it all.
Sylus is quiet. You know it's for your sake, to give you all the (metaphorical) space you need. All the power is in your hands to start a conversation. All he does is hold you close, rub circles into your arm, and offer you the wine glass in his other hand.
You grin wryly as you accept it. It's fruity, sweet - definitely not to his tastes. "Is this the one my nana got you?"
"Mhm," he hums. "It's a nice gesture."
You chuckle. "She had no idea what to get you. I mentioned that you like to drink, but she's... Well, she tends to gift other people things she likes."
You settle deeper against him, cradling the glass to yourself as you lean your head against his shoulder. He presses a tender kiss to your head.
"Is it always that chaotic?"
"No." You tilt your head up to look at him. "It's usually a lot worse."
He chuckles lowly. "I'm glad they were on their best behavior for me, then." He brushes his nose against yours, drawing out the peace of the moment just a while longer. He's had to severely cut back on how affectionate he gets to be with you to avoid encouraging even more marriage and children questions; he really wants to savor this for as long as possible.
The lights of the Christmas tree in the living room dance across the planes of his face. Every now and then, the red catches on his iris. Or the gold does, and gives him a draconic look. He's beautiful. Ethereal. Your cousin took one look at him, at his arm lazily wrapped around your waist, and gaped in awe at you. The only reason she couldn't get a chance to get Sylus alone and try to steal him is because he was too insistent on staying by your side through it all, whispering teasing remarks in your ear and making sure you weren't about to have a panic attack.
It felt really good being able to put her in her place at dinner, when she purposefully vied for the seat beside Sylus's. He'd ignored her the whole time, save for a politely dismissive phrase or two. After she stole your boyfriend from you in 9th grade pulling the same stunts that she tried tonight, you had no sympathy for the teary-eyed pout she pulled on her way out the door.
You lean up that last little bit. He ducks his head down to ease the strain on your neck, meeting you in a honeyed kiss. Sweet, warm and unhurried. You taste like the wine, hints of the bitter alcoholic sting softened by the fruity sweetness clinging to your lips. This may be his new favorite wine, if only for the way it tastes on you.
You pull away slowly. He leaves a few chaste kisses on your lips, chasing after the lingering sweetness, before finally humming his satisfaction. As soon as you both get home, he's going to make up for all the lost time. For now, he tucks your head under his chin, holds you in front of the tree, and basks in his first Christmas spent with you.
"Merry Christmas, Sy."
"Merry Christmas, sweetheart." He can't wait to celebrate with you again next year, crazy family and all.
You take a slow sip of the wine, basking in the silence for all of one minute. “Sy?”
“Mhm?”
“We’re taking the jet back home. I can’t be sat sandwiched between two screaming babies again.”
---
Tag List:
@the-golden-jhope @huen1ngk41 @armycaratlover @sylusfluffymeow @cheesemachine44 @nyx2021 @angel-jupiter @thelittlebutton @pikachuzhc @pomegranatepip @cordidy @an-ever-angry-bi @thejysemongko
#fanfic#fanfiction#sylus#sylus x reader#love and deepspace sylus#lads sylus#lnds sylus#love and deepspace#love and deepspace x reader#lads#lads x reader#lnds#lnds x reader#gn reader#x gn reader#gender neutral reader#x gender neutral reader
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To the people who made my year great ❤️
@mattyhealyarmpits : I love you so much Clara thank you for always being there when I need it, for making me laugh and laughing at other people in our twt gc!! Gorgeous gorgeous Italian diva who is stalked by British boy and do**oy
@illtakeaminute : Josie..I love you so bad you're genuinely such a great friend oh my god. You always c**e through with the jokes and roasts when I wanna talk shit thank you so much mwah mwah mwah
@softpinkmatty : Em you're such a sweetheart I love talking to you so much. I love reading your messages they put me in such a calm place and distract me if I'm feeling down. You always check up on me which I've never really experienced and I so appreciate thank you.
@pqr1s : girl I couldn't leave you out of this 😔 you made my year special, thank you. Even if you're not in my life anymore I'm glad you were in it for a little while. Thank you for making me laugh, for making me feel pretty, for caring and speaking to me when you were sad or didn't feel like talking at all. Thank you for every special moment on Instagram, Tumblr, etc. I love you so much and I always will have a special place for you in my heart and mind. I love you so much thank you.
@sugar-coat-it , @kate-the1975, @wreckedandpolemic: thank you all for making me laugh, moan all of the likes.. you know what happens in our gc 💕
@102hannah, @rosestoviolets, @twin-fantasies : thank you for liking my posts and interacting, love you oomfs ❤️
@paradiserotting : thank you for listening to me rant... You know what about 😭 thank you for letting me make mistakes and for understanding me anytime I apologized for those same mistakes. Thank you for being there when I needed it. Love you so much boyblogger 🤭
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🍵༘PANCAKES🥯⊹ ࣪ ˖
„⤵ MILD ANGST and fluff! „⤵ 2 / (?) PARTS „⤵ JASON TODD X READER Jason is getting settled in his new home, after showing up at your door last night. Jason is a dead man walking, but he still needs you. Read PT 1 here! AFFECTION ROTS Reblogs much appreciated
The two of you eventually found the couch. You sat next to him, putting a throw pillow's distance between the two of you. Much to his disappointment. Jason was more clingy then he had ever been before. Absence makes the heart grow fonder. A few hours passed. You had both fallen asleep sometime after midnight. That morning he explained everything as best as he could to you, his death at the hands of the joker, the crowbar, the ressurection. Despite the granted confusion you followed as best you could. He told you everything. Everything that happened from the moment he died. He really missed you, despite the two of you being dumb in love teeangers. He still saw a future with you, and you were wary to admit you weren't sure you saw the same. He was diffrerent. Bigger, taller, stronger. And somehow more alive, than anything before. “I'm sorry." You managed to say. You felt like such a coward. You couldn't handle touching him, or holding his hand.
“I can't blame you. It'll take some time." He said sadly. You could see in his eyes that he was blaming himself. "You're doing great… I really am proud of you. Just wish we could've done all this… together, y'know?" he said the last part quietly, almost a whisper. You looked down, unable to hold eye contact.
"Things are a little bit different now. You know that right? I can't change my past. Even though I'd like to." You spoke slowly. "You know, it's gonna take some time. I don't regret our relationship. Never have."
”You're serious, huh?" he raised an eyebrow. It was nearly commical. You were devestating him with every word you spoke. "I wanted us to do this forever, you know? Like… forever. You've always been on my mind.. guess I should've known things weren't gonna stay the same. You're not fifteen anymore.." he mumbled.
He had a faraway look in his eye. You wondered how much of this story he had clearly made up inside his mind depended on you reciprocating his tender feelings. But you knew this was his way of trying to comfort you, despite his broken soul. He would give you time… "Do you remember our first date?" He suddenly asked. He smiled shyly, looking down at his lap. The image came unbidden to your mind, vivid and perfect. You remembered how much effort he put into planning. He was more thorough then any man. He was attentive, and a good listener. So why were you hesitant..? Maybe it was his dependency. “Um. Yes I remember- Um.. do you want breakfast?.." You said weakly, standing up and turning towards the kitchen, leaving him to his own thoughts. "I can make us something quick…" You heard him sigh in disappointment. When you finally turned around again, his elbows were on his knees. He was curled into himself. You knew he was trying to be strong. But it was hard to admire his strengths when he looked so pitiful.. It broke your heart. "I'm making pancakes.. Do you want some? They're grainy but- edible." You offered hesitantly.
“Yeah.. sounds good.” His voice cracked. He didn’t have a good relationship with food. After the truama of his death and even before that with the joker, he hadn’t been hungry at all. He never wanted food.. and when he did it threw it up promptly. Food always felt unsafe to him. And that included food cooked by you.. which seemed ironic, because he would have worshipped the ground beneath you if you asked him to.
He wondered if he watched the whole process of cooking from start to finish if he would feel better about it. He could trick his brain into understanding he was safe.
“God you’re so gorgeous..” He sighed. “I’m tired of falling for you all over again… s’not fair. Why can’t I have you?” You paused, setting the pan on the stove as it heated up. Melting the butter into a bubbly golden liquid. There was no denying he had changed a lot. He went from 4”6 to an even 6 foot. You could see the stretch marks that painted his hips whenever he lifted his arms up. Despite your ‘disinterest’ in him romantically, you would still take small peeks and glances whenever his shirt rode up, revealing some of the new muscle he had gained.
His sudden growth wasn’t unwelcome, it was just shocking that he had grown that much within the span of a few years. Especially considering he had always been smaller than you.
But you had accepted his advances with only halfhearted interest. Even if he was a handsome behemoth of a man today. But it was hard to deny the fact that when he looked at you like he did now, you felt a lingering warmth.
He hadn’t lost his charm. He still knew how to make you blush and smile. But maybe you were too afraid of losing what you shared with him.. again..
As you began making the pancake mix he kept his gaze trained on you and the food. He was obviously enthralled with it.. “I like strawberries.” He smiled softly, watching you work through the recipe. He’d always loved watching you cook. It reminded him of home.. it was vaguely reminiscent of Alfred. Even if he hated the Waynes he still missed having a family. “They remind me of you.” He continued. “Those soft, shiny pinkish red ones…” You nodded along to his words. He was always so sentimental.. “They smell like spring.” He added, smiling slightly. You felt yourself relax at his words. He could be sweet sometimes, despite the fact he was now, 10x his size, strength, and power. He was probably better at a lot of things now, you didn’t want to know what he would do to any of the failed relationships you had in your contacts still... But it was clear he still had that innocent side that you once loved. Jason was like weathered plastic in the garden, his old self was fading, but the spots where the sunlight hadn’t burned away the old Jason todd were still as vibrant and tender as ever. He seemed happier than usual too. His cheeks had begun to lighten up again, his skin seemed to glow from just having seen you again.
The food was ready, and you brought him over to the table. “I’m not an amazing cook, but I hope it’s okay….” You handed him the fork. He was silent for a while, staring at the plate in front of him.
“I uh.. I’m usually not so good with food but this does look really good I promise. It feels like I constantly have the flu. My mind is all fucking broken.."
"You deserve a break." You said, sitting opposite of him across the table. Your fingers intertwined tightly with your own beneath the table, under the table. You tried to suppress your nerves. He needed comfort and support now, you couldn't give him more. "You're here.. With me.. That's something." You said, trying to encourage him.
“I still want you. So bad..” He mumbled. His fork clinked against his plate as he set it down gently. You took a deep breath. You didn’t know what to say. You weren’t ready to talk about your problem with the matter of your relationship. You just wanted him to eat, and try to get better..
“Jason-“ You warned.
“Do you still love me?” He interrupted. He was trying to sound calm, but he was clearly agitated. The question threw you off guard. He looked at you with wide, desperate eyes. “Answer honestly. I need to know.” You hesitated.
“Yes.” You answered truthfully, not able to hide the hurt on your face.
“You don’t even want to touch me…” he muttered dejectedly.
“You died- I was at your funeral.. I don’t understand how your here right now..” you said firmly. “I’m just… confused, ok? I thought I understood everything..” You were trembling. You knew he saw, he understood. You didn’t know how to deal with the guilt gnawing at your stomach.. You hated seeing him this upset. “I miss you..” he whispered, staring at you with pleading eyes.
You lowered your gaze and shook your head. “I’m sorry- you.. Do you have a place to stay?..”
“Are you kicking me out?..”
“Well no- but I feel bad for making you sleep on the couch.” You explained. “You’ve done nothing wrong.. I’m sorry… do you want to stay?”
He remained silent and slowly ate the food placed in front of him. His lips forming into a thin line. He looked exhausted. But he was eating the meal you had made, albeit reluctantly and very slowly. It took him about 20 minutes, as he finished every bite without looking up or saying a word.
“Yeah. I want to stay here for a bit.” He replied after he finished chewing. You nodded, relieved. He pushed back the chair and stood up. He looked exhausted.
“I’ll get you some blankets.” You said quietly, walking back to your room to bring some out to him. While searching your closet, you heard soft footsteps behind you. Your body froze for a split second. Just Jason.. Just Jason…. Then you relaxed. You pulled out two fluffy blankets. You walked back towards him, throwing them over his shoulders. He let out a content sigh at the warmth. “It smells like you…” he mused. He looked so at peace. Like you had injected life into him for the first time since he got here.
He grabbed one pillow from your bed and squeezed it. He closed his eyes, feeling the soft material against his skin. You couldn’t help but smile softly. He looked at you like you hung the moon in the sky. A sense of wonder and relief washing over his features. He turned to the doorway, making his way to the living room.
The television flickered dimly on your TV stand. Your DVD’s stacked high, mostly disney and other classics. “I love you so much..” he murmured, looking around your home.
“I…” You paused. “Know.. you do..” you trailed off, not knowing how else to respond. It felt weird hearing those words come from him. You spent nights hoping to hear those exact words just.. one more time. Hearing them now..
“Where were you?” You asked, trying to distract yourself from the overwhelming guilt weighing down your chest.
“Oh y’know…” He shrugged. “Just…” he laughed awkwardly before sitting down on the couch. “Just running around doing shit. Nothing serious.” He admitted. “But I was able to find you eventually. I actually used to sit in the parking lot and stare at your apartment door, waiting for you to open it..” he looked embarrassed to admit that, scratching the side of his jaw. You chuckled lightly at that image. “You should have seen it, though! I sat there until my legs went numb and then I finally decided to walk away because I felt kinda creepy sitting there watching like that..” He grinned, remembering how pathetic and childish it sounded. “But, I had to see you last night. I had to talk to you... See how you were...” He said, sadly. “God…I’m really messed up.” He sighed, dropping his gaze onto the floor. You frowned as you noticed his mood swing.
“I missed you too-… I’m glad you’re back, and I’m sorry I’m being so cold.” You apologised.
He gave you an understanding glance, “you can be pretty difficult to read these days.. I just.. I hope you can understand my intentions. I still want you.”
“Night Jay.” You stood up, attempting to run away from the topic. “I have class in the morning. I gotta get some sleep. I have a presentation coming up.” You walked towards the bedroom, but stopped. You didn’t want to leave him alone yet. What happened wasn’t fair. “I’ll be back around 12 or so.. tomorrow.”
“Goodnight baby.” He sighed, laying down on the couch. You smiled at his nickname.
He stayed sleeping in his makeshift bed the whole evening, until 4 am or so when he slipped out from the blankets and into your room. He was just getting up to check on you, but eventually it became him… getting a closer look.. getting in bed. and passing out next to you. These blankets were big enough to cover him completely, no cold feet. There was barely any distance between you.
“Night..” he said softly, pressing a gentle kiss to the top of your head. He laid down facing away from you, but in his mind he was holding you close, his arms wrapped tightly around you. ...
#dcu#batman#dc universe#jason todd#jason todd imagine#jason todd x reader#batfam#batboys#jason todd headcanons#jason todd headcanon#jason todd smut#batfam fanart#robins#dc spoiler#batfamily#batfam shenanigans#jason todd x y/n#jason todd x you#jason todd x oc#jason todd x male reader
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TLDR:
-People have a hard time connecting with Kant because his main motivation, Babe, is not around much.
-Kant and Bison are both guilty of lying to one another. Interested to see how they navigate their relationship now that they are both on to each other.
I've had this thought in my head since last week, but never got around to writing it down. I think part of the reason people, not me because if Kant had one fan it would be me, have such a hard time getting behind Kant's reasoning and motivation, is because we aren't that familiar with the object of said reasoning. Babe is Kant's motivation. He's the only family he's got as far as we know, and he's Babe's guardian. It's not only a question of if Kant doesn't do what Capt. Crunch does he will be sent to jail, it's if Kant doesn't do what Capri Sun does he will be sent to jail, and Babe will most likely go into the system because there's no one else. That's simply just not an option. Kant wasn't stealing cars because he liked the thrill of it, he did so because he needed to take care of his brother, and he was desperate. We joke that Kant is a terrible criminal, but I think that's the point? From the pieces that we can grasp, he was/is a criminal out of necessity after his parent's sudden death, and not just for the thrill of it. He wouldn't be in his current situation if he was great at it.
When you write it out like that, I think it makes one more empathetic to his plight but the problem is we don't really know Babe. I wrote in a previous post that Fadel and Kant are the same in different fonts. Both are protective of their brothers and will do anything to protect them, but the stark difference is we know Bison. He's a fleshed-out person and we feel bad for him. We don't know Babe. We know that he likes Shakespeare, he gets bullied, and he's Kan't brother. That's it. We go episodes without seeing him, and his absence leads one to forget that he's the main reason Kant is doing any of this at all. He just looks like a sleaze trying to stay out of jail.
With each episode, it is becoming clear that Kant is failing horribly with not becoming attached to Bison. He lies and has a healthy amount of fear of Bison, but his gestures are honest. He can't help it, he's been into Bison since before he knew what he was. He's not just sweet on Bison because he has a role to play, he's sweet on Bison period. With them living and working in such close proximity anyway, they were bound to be a thing.
But.
That's not what happened, and he can't even fully explore his feelings because this cop is threatening him and has put him in an impossible and dangerous situation with no resources or protection, Bison is a killer, and he's stressed out by both. There's definitely nuance and reasoning there with Bison, but baby boy is still incredibly lethal. Kant's head has got to be stronger than his heart and his other head, and as much as he likes Bison, he loves his brother abundantly more, and that's reasonable. He also does not know Bison. I wrote something last year while watching Only Friends about Sand and Ray's relationship that I think can be applied here. Kant and Bison are not getting the same insight into one another, for clear reasons. They're open with each other, but they are not completely honest with each other for, again, reasons.
Kant is lying to Bison, but Bison is also lying to Kant. Kant knows Bison is lying to him, but being a sweet-faced assassin is a pretty big omission. Bison is under the impression that he's killing bad people, but Kant isn't privy to that and only knows that under that pretty face with dreams and an artistic spirit with a love of cats lies a killer. Someone who could kill him and his brother and not think twice about it. Obviously not, but Kant does not know that. Someone who just as easily lies to him about a big part of his life, and with a lot more ease. Bison doesn't want to be an assassin anymore and wants to live his life, but as far we know he does not lose sleep over any of his kills, and that's still scary. Again, nuance there, I got a whole thought process on other mother raising children to be disposable assassins, but this post ain't that!
It's been touched on many times that Bison knows there's something up with Kant. He is a perceptive little thing, so there's no way he doesn't know Kant is not being truthful. Fadel has pointed out and Bison does not listen. Bison knows. Deep in his bones he's always known, but I think he didn't want to believe it because he's fallen for Kant. That may not have been the initial goal, he just wanted freedom and Kant's hot, great motivators, but dammit if he didn't fall for the guy. I have a similar theory about Kant. Let me explain, don't touch the mic, let me explain. Kant knows Bison's other occupation. Capt told him what was up and he hasn't been completely comfortable around Bison because he knows this information, but I don't think it really clicked for him until he went into Bison and Fadel's secret room. Not because he didn't believe it, but because he didn't want it to be true. I think he wanted Capt. to be wrong about this because he's fallen for Bison too, and not only that, he's falling deeper despite all that. Which is a terrifying revelation. And Bison protected his brother twice now? Kant might be better at keeping himself than the other three, and he might be lying to himself out of self preservation, but he's just as gone. Now that both know about the other, I'm so ready for them to finally be truthful and truly lay themselves bare without deceit between them.
...This got away from me, but whatever.
One last thing! I think this scene above is after all truths and betrayal are out in the open because that looks like a taxi, probably stolen, Kant looks like he might be wearing some sort of uniform that hides his tattoos, and Bison is wearing a hat to hide his identity. Okay, I'm done.
#the heart killers#the heart killers series#the heart killers the series#kantbison#kant thk#bison thk#firstkhao
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im otherkin, and i would still call myself human. but also would call myself nonhuman. for a while i did think that my otherkin-ness was a reincarnated-past-life thing, but i dont really agree with that framework for myself anymore. im definitely more of a psychological type: i look at the creatures that im "kin" with and think "you are like me and i am like you, we are the same." and i honestly have thought that far far before i ever heard of the word. but as for human/nonhuman, to me it is far more contextual. i am human physically, i have human rights, i am fallible as all humans are. but i am...hm, actually, yknow what. i dont think i like the term "nonhuman" for myself. i think i prefer "inhuman." i have a very inhuman mentality, and a lot of times behave accordingly. not outwardly obviously (i just seem nd, which that is also correct) but internally it aligns.
i appreciate you taking the time to share your thoughts!
i find that everyone prefers different labels to describe their relationship with humanity or lack thereof, and that's great! i love how diverse otherkin spaces are- have you ever encountered the term alterhuman before? that might suit you as well! either way, i'm glad you have figured out how to word your exact experience. my otherkin identity is psychological as well. i do believe in reincarnation, but it's difficult for me to say with confidence that i know what happened in my other lives
plus, there are lots of people who identify as nonhuman and human at the same time, so that makes sense to me! there are always fictionkin and other folks that do identify as human, and it's an otherkin/alterhuman/etc. experience just like any other!
i also acknowledge that i'm human in this life. there's no denying it, but it doesn't mean my otherkin identities aren't legitimate just because i recognize i'm in a human body. i think you're awesome, thanks for stopping by to let us know! take care, i hope it helps you feel even more like yourself to realize this!
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Just some thoughts on this. I agree totally with the positives, and some of the negatives. For positives, her ideals for every student to strive for greatness, her ambition to raise her rank and not letting her crush on Iruma handicap her, and her being an established character in the universe independent of Iruma. You hit the nail on the head and that's what I really love about her. But on the negatives, it's more of a mixed bag, and I think that ties in a lot with my own complaints about the pacing of the story. For the first hundred chapters, the story proceeded at a good pace, where a "long" arc was 15 chapters like the Battra Party or Walter Park. But as the series became more of a breakout and there wasn't the worry of being axed, the pacing slowed with arcs going longer, and if you weren't involved in the arc, those characters went by the wayside and then needed crammed chapters to make up for it. Harvest Festival and Heartbreaker especially took a looong time and introduced a lot of characters for screentime to juggle, so Ameri was pretty sidelined. Still, I think the biggest failure of the story for keeping Ameri larger-plot relevant was the Deviculum II, where the writing quality took a nosedive after the Break-In. Like, you can't give the exact same cop-out with the exact same execution (interrupting phone call) in back to back chapters and still call that quality writing. But Ameri was the reason Iruma was here, she hadn't played a big role in over a hundred chapters, she's a known fighter in a similar league to Asmodeus, *was one room over* but then suddenly disappeared when the action went on. Perhaps it was to focusd on Iruma, Kirio and Asomedeus but the result was that her chance to return to influence the plot was put on hold for another year or so, making the feeling of losing relevance a bit sharper. And that's a genuine failure on the writing side of things, and I hope that Narnia's story being tied in with Henry, Merize and presumably Ameri's will eventually make up for that. But in terms of personal character chemistry with Iruma, I do think the story writes some great characterization with that, and I wouldn't discount early story interactions anymore than I would discount early Love Trio interactions. Like mentioned, they really motivate each other, but it also means the ideals they hold resonate. Ameri wants a safe world so demons can pursue their ambitions, Iruma wants a safe world for his friends to enjoy, the benevolence is synergistic. It shows a personality and philosophical compatibility that's very important in relationships. Additionally, we do see a ton of things they enjoy together, exclusively together. Iruma loves reading First Love Memories just as much as Ameri loves being read to, and it's something they do regularly even offscreen. There's the baking, which has been largely a them thing. And the story doesn't shy from showing when Ameri and Iruma get excited, like at the Deviculum II, they smile and gasp in the exact same way like idiots with the same braincell. I think that shows a level of synergy that means a lot when the story shows it. Again, I do totally think the issue with the story is not giving a lot of the extra fluff. The chapters with Ameri do have Iruma on the mind, but also show off what Ameri does in her spare time like work out and her duties. And even the last two girls talk chapters didn't go into Iruma that much, none in the case of Nafra's reintroduction. I think for all the good writing she genuinely had and how Ameri's not the only one to suffer the effects of lack of screentime (how'd Balam's investigation mission go, hmm?), she gets the benefit of the doubt for her offscreen escapades, though we're eager to see those training arcs as well. Her relationship with Iruma has a few writing niggles, but has an incredibly strong foundation of mutual support, trust, compatibility and enjoyment.
Hello! I really like your character analysis from m!ik. I wanted to ask you what do you think of Amerie? And her influence on Iruma? And their relationship?
Great question! Okay, I’ll go in order of your questions since you have a few for me :)
Okay, so I have issues with how Ameri is written on the character, some of the few issues I have with Nishi’s writing thus far. But before I talk about the negatives I want to focus on the positives of Ameri and her character because I do think she has a lot of potential that I hope we get to see! Ameri is a classic capable but soft character type that we see in both her romance fantasies but also her deep care for her fellow students. She isn’t just a student president because of the prestige or power it could give her, it’s because her ideal is for every demon to be proud of themselves and their authentic selves. And this is a quality in her that I find deeply profound and beautiful. She’s proud of herself and she wants others to be proud of themselves as well. And what I like about Iruma and Ameri is that she encourages him to strive for more, more than he ever could have dreamed of in the beginning. And he makes her enjoy herself more rather than overworking herself. He makes her be still more, stop to appreciate the little things. She also has the power to inspire others, a nature born leader, and one that is willing to do anything for her fellow students. Not to mention she has given her fellow student council members a place to belong and by doing so, they have deep respect and loyalty to her. And for demons who are inherently selfish and idealistic, this says a lot. They aren’t with her because of her strength, they care for her and I think that speaks volumes in itself.
What I have a problem with is how much her growth is tied to iruma. I think in this Nishi failed at making her an independent character. For instance, we don’t get to see her work towards rank 7, which would help her in her main ambition. We know she wants to take over for her dad, but we don’t know why that’s so important to her yet. And we don’t get to see the steps she takes towards that goal. Her growth is her progress in her relationship with Iruma and I think that’s a let down. Like I said, I love how she inspires and pushes iruma to be a better version of herself. I enjoy that a lot about their relationship. But I don’t find myself interested at all in the romance aspect of the two, mostly because of how they met each other. The trope is that in so many animes and mangas (and the romance genre in general) have two characters run into each other and instantly fall for the other. They went for the trope, we had some laughs about it, but then it kind of just… stuck around? It’s making fun of the clique while also adhering to it and to me it just didn’t land. I think for the joke to work and to make the relationship flow better, the immediate attraction should have quelled and from there a more slow burn of feelings for Ameri. I think if she didn’t become so Iruma crazy so soon into the story, it could have made a more compelling relationship compared to the current one we have. Right now, besides motivating each other I don’t see much in the way of their relationship? I think it’s also hard because we see so little of her in the actual plot and story so the relationship feels like it’s going at a snail’s pace while also going too fast when we do get to see them interact again to make up for the lack of Ameri. It’s weird, they’ve gone on three or four dates (or at least, we can categorize them as dates even if both characters haven’t called it that) but at the same time it’s like nothing has happened for them. I guess besides Ameri realizing her feelings, Iruma blushing when hugging Ameri, and the talk with Henri. I wish the relationship was more friendship focused or the feelings took longer to develop. Because she’s a busy woman and she’s a year above Iruma, we don’t see her actively take part of the plot often and it just makes it hard to get to know more personal stuff about Ameri.
This isn’t to say I’m a Ameri x Iruma hater, I just don’t find their relationship a fun part of the story. I do also admit to having a bias for the love trio when it comes to Iruma ships. But I do hope that the relationship develops more in an in-depth way because I could see her and their relationship becoming more interesting if Nishi takes the time to write her (in my opinion) better.
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Council of lovefools.
[First] Prev <–-> Next
#poorly drawn mdzs#mdzs#wei wuxian#jiang yanli#jiang cheng#They don't have an actual sleepover in this scene but the vibes were so sleepover coded...I had to get them cozied up.#Late night talks with friends and family are some of the best conversations.#My siblings and I used to have room sleepovers with each other (Actually an excuse to stay up and talk about runescape)#Currently my flatmates and I also have really great heart to hearts late into the night.#Pondering shit like 'What defines confidence?“ and ”Why are people terrified of letting themselves fall in love?"#All that aside; There is a really great conversation between JC and WWX here. They are so close and yet so far way from each other!#Fundamentally they *agree* about many things - but JC now has to play the role of someone more 'mature'.#His temper is reigned in and he had to take a more nuanced approach. Whereas WWX can be far more reactionary.#JC has changed to become someone more mature (or at least he is trying).#Contrast this attitude with the scene *right* after where WWX literally goes baby mode with JYL. Rolling around going “I'm Fwee years old”.#When children are hurt we comfort them with hugs and warm food and a laugh. It's not enough when you're an adult. It's not simple anymore.#WWX is stuck in the past when everyone else is shifting and moving on! It's a depression allegory (and just...actual depression)#But we also get to see how some things have stayed the same. They still bicker about soup. They still tease. They are still together.#They all care for each other very much but they are struggling against trauma and are not equipped to talk about it.#You can't really blame WWX for being so protective over JYL. But JC is right: “You don't have a say in who she likes.”#It may have started as an arranged marriage but *she* is *choosing* what her heart wants. JC sees that. WWX cannot.#The final act of love is letting go after all.
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Excuse me im just gonna spam all of these over here...(part 1 [yes there's more])
#sketch#digital ilustration#loonatics unleashed#loonatics fanart#loonatics#tech e coyote#rev runner#lexi bunny#ace bunny#slam tasmanian#danger duck#redraw#looney tunes#??? do i tag that too??? idk tecnically its a looney tunes show :|#they're so hard to draw too i wasnt ready to have to learn (and still habing to practice) how to draw in the looney style (how do i call it?#tech x rev#gotta love how half of the fanart i've drawn is just ship art of those two too#main reason i got into the show in the first place (kind of also the only thing that kept me watching...)#they're the best#if you're wondering by the way why they look so different its cause i made my own AU/take on the show#i most noticeably made slam a pup and a clone made by tech#and i swapped ace and lexi's ancestor/great grandparents?#the runners are pretty much the same (peak character design)#and duck and tech are mixed#do i tag as an AU?#au#I ALSO CHANGED THE POWERS OF TECH (and made the others be able to do more things)#tech can heal inmediately and can use his blood/idk to heal others#if rev runs fast enough he combusts into fire which lets him fly and do cool fire stuff#and i cant add anymore tags so the rest will be shared for another day..
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Why is the anime so weird, it's not even the same series dude?? It's like,
Anime:
GOKU: I have a great idea to bring peace to the universe, and my leadership and compassion alone will unite us all. I have No Flaws and am A True Relatable Everyman :)
VEGETA: NO! I AM THE BEST AND I WILL CAUSE PROBLEMS UNTIL I AM RECOGNIZED AS SUCH!!!!
Manga:
GOKU: Vegeta what's cornmeal made of? I know it's what the corn eats, but what's it made of? VEGETA: Hey Kakarot let's play the quiet game until one of us dies.
#dbtag#I do not understand this writing it's so bad aklsdlkasjd#Toei wants Goku to be Clark Kent SO bad and he SO isn't lmao#they're so good and dumb and rounded and complex in the manga what is the anime so afraid of#Toriyama said 'no no this man is a detached faux-immortal who has a dear pure heart but he's childlike and selfish even though he's kind'#and toei went 'got it goku's never done anything wrong ever in his life'#toriyama said 'Vegeta's gone through a lot and he's finally settling into his more mature leadership role with the confidence he's earned'#and toei said 'got it vegeta has the confidence of a high school bully except now he can interact with his family as a comedy bit'#girl hWHAT#Toei trying to group Goku and Vegeta as two people who would rather train than be with their families and Toriyama said NO Vegeta wants#to be HOME this is the first time in years that he's HAD ONE and it makes him HAPPY to be with his wife and children!!#Vegeta trains so that he can protect the things he doesn't want to lose again and Goku trains because it's the thing that makes him happies#They are NOT the same lmao And yeah Vegeta still wants to beat Goku but he also knows that Gohan could dogwalk both of them if he wanted#He also knows Trunks and Goten are going to surpass them it's not about being the best anymore he's past that he just wants to Not Need Gok#He just doesn't want to have to rely on Goku to save the day he wants to be Enough on his own he just wants to know he can be#because every time it's mattered he WASN'T and people he loved were lost to his inability to protect them and he carries that#Like Whis diagnosed him with anxiety and cptsd out in the open and Beerus said he was self-centered for feeling guilt#+ he lowkey enjoys the rivalry it keeps him goal-oriented so he can't get complacent and lazy which is what triggered his Buu Saga breakdow#realized how Fucked Up it was that having a home and loving family made him feel like he was failing and went 'wait no I won actually??'#now he's chill as fuck in the manga. cool confident leader.#and sometimes he is childish and dumb with Goku as a treat#you know what rocks about his rivalry with Goku in Super though is that it's Playful. Vegeta is learning how to Play.#You ever seen a shelter dog get introduced to a really playful dog and it takes a minute for the shelter dog to understand it's safe here#And then they're both running around the backyard playing hot potato with one braincell?? That's Goku and Vegeta's relationship#and the way the anime sleeps on that dynamic is so fucking criminal especially when it's literally canon it's in print it's out there#you had the playbook how'd you fumble it this bad#anyway that's my 25+ year blorbo thoughts I love Geets a lot okay#And I love Goku in the manga a lot I'd forgotten that he's actually a great character when Toei's not fucking up his whole vibe
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no one told me how isolating unmasking would be
#and its certainly...something#like i dont regret it#i dont wanna masking to be my default and i dont wanna be in pain or uncomfortable anymore#but realizing that the ppl in my life have never been exposed to the real unmasked version of me#and finding that most of them dont like that version#well its kinda heartbreaking#and dont get me wrong i do love my alone time#but im also so terribly lonely at the same time#and dont know hoe to fix it bc for most ppl relationships depending on the going out aspect#and lots of that stuff is painful for me and im trying to not force myself to do#so im just left on my own#just wasnt ready for how terrible this would be even tho its also great#autism#ry rambles#probably will delete later
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I’m feeling quite sad about how much the active bts fandom on tumblr has shrunk and/ or how selective the community has become regarding content interaction. I’ve heard people pointing out a clique-building here lately, and while I’m well aware of closer mutual circles existing – and I can only speak on behalf of my friend group here – these pretty much develop naturally when there’s just no one else who reacts, reblogs from and talks to you anymore except for these handful of people. I don’t like that some people perceive these “cliques” as “exclusive”, for example to content creators only. that’s bullshit; it’s certainly not great to have only other cc’s support your work because they personally know how much time and effort it takes. also, knowing how lovely most of these people are, you’d get immediately followed back and showered with love too as soon as you’d even show a speckle of kindness on a regular basis, regardless of whether you make gifs yourself or not. ccs dedicating sets to each other isn’t a sign of exclusivity, but rather us holding onto and appreciating people who still give us at least some motivation to create and post in the first place anymore, because there’s quite literally no one else left by now.
#this is rather general so I’m putting more personal thoughts in the tags here#I really don’t feel like creating anymore :(#like I genuinely only post for birthdays or gifts cause I see no point in anything else anymore#at least that one person will care you know#I don’t post that much anymore but when I do I put so much love and effort into it#and it never feels good to click that post button anymore#also.#man it fucking stings to realise that people who follow you definitely scrolled past your own post#cause they reblogged sth from you that you posted before your self reblog#it makes me so so anxious and insecure#I’ve been pressuring myself to post so much only to be met with dismissiveness when I do#that doesn’t feel great in the slightest#I said a while ago that I don’t want to take a break and that I want to keep creating#but the disappointment lately was pretty drastic#I’ve been at this point several times before so it’ll probably pass again#but it’ll never not suck to see your days of work and creativity be ignored#it feels once again pointless to try to make original things#should just stick to 10 gifs of the same clip#or shirtless tannie gifs#it’ll get me the exact same recognition if not three to five times more#and takes so much less time
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Sometimes I remember that my whole house was so obsessed with the show Merlin, that we named the first tree we planted in the yard Merlin.
When it was given to us 11 years ago it was hardly a scraggly stick, and now it looks like a giant bush
Artist rendition
#this is the first year it has like!! actual bark!!!#only the middle/ main trunk#I’m so emotional over this tree you guys don’t even know#he won’t stop growing branches on the bottom#so he just looks like a huge bush when leafed out#then another tree we planted the same year looks like a Maple Tree TM#I love all the trees in my yard#every day when it’s warm enough I tell them all they’re doing a great jobs#and one who burnt during a really hot summer didn’t grow for YEARS#but we didn’t give up on it#no sir#we cut off the burnt limb#we kept telling it that it was doing great#and last year!!! it finally started growing new twigs!!#it grew more than like 5 leaves!!!#and this year so far there’s already a LOT of growth!!!!!!#and one tree I got from a childhood best friend like 5 years ago has absolutely taken off#like holy hell#the tree was a sapling from the tree from her backyard#it was my favourite tree growing up#it’s were we were kids together#guys no you don’t get it#we slowly fell out of friendship and then years later she texted me#‘hey you know that one tree you used to love? do you want a sapling from jt otherwise my mom is throwing it in compost.’#‘she thinks you don’t care about this tree anymore but I know you do’#*sobs*#Spoofy tambles
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