#this is rather general so I’m putting more personal thoughts in the tags here

[kimtaegis]

I’m feeling quite sad about how much the active bts fandom on tumblr has shrunk and/ or how selective the community has become regarding content interaction. I’ve heard people pointing out a clique-building here lately, and while I’m well aware of closer mutual circles existing – and I can only speak on behalf of my friend group here – these pretty much develop naturally when there’s just no one else who reacts, reblogs from and talks to you anymore except for these handful of people. I don’t like that some people perceive these “cliques” as “exclusive”, for example to content creators only. that’s bullshit; it’s certainly not great to have only other cc’s support your work because they personally know how much time and effort it takes. also, knowing how lovely most of these people are, you’d get immediately followed back and showered with love too as soon as you’d even show a speckle of kindness on a regular basis, regardless of whether you make gifs yourself or not. ccs dedicating sets to each other isn’t a sign of exclusivity, but rather us holding onto and appreciating people who still give us at least some motivation to create and post in the first place anymore, because there’s quite literally no one else left by now.

[darkficsyouneveraskedfor]

Cool for the Summer 1

No tag lists. Do not send asks or DMs about updates. Review my pinned post for guidelines, masterlist, etc.

Warnings: this fic will include dark content such as noncon/dubcon, age gap, power dynamics, cheating, and possible untagged elements. My warnings are not exhaustive, enter at your own risk.

This is a dark!fic and explicit. 18+ only. Your media consumption is your own responsibility. Warnings have been given. DO NOT PROCEED if these matters upset you.

Summary: After finishing your degree, you return home only to find things aren't as you left them.

Characters: Bucky Barnes

Note: Hellooooooooo. I've done it.

As per usual, I humbly request your thoughts! Reblogs are always appreciated and welcomed, not only do I see them easier but it lets other people see my work. I will do my best to answer all I can. I’m trying to get better at keeping up so thanks everyone for staying with me.

Your feedback will help in this and future works (and WiPs, I haven’t forgotten those!) Please do not just put ‘more’. I will block you.

I love you all immensely. Take care. 💖

The heat is suffocating. There’s so many people crammed into the tight space. Enough to smother you and make you sweat. You're close to the end. 

The train is finally still and passengers rise to take down their bags and form a queue along the center aisle. You stay patiently in your seat. You’d rather wait there then brave the crowded shuffle as the impatience to disembark mounts. 

At last, the doors open and people begin to move. You don’t stand until the last person passes your row. Your suitcase is at the front of the car with the bigger luggage. 

Step-by-step you make your way up and slip your bag off the middle shelf. You haul it awkwardly to the door and the man on the ground helps bring it down. You thank him, looking only at his branded pin, and step off. 

You drag the bag behind you and hike up the smaller bag on your shoulder. You’re exhausted and it’s not even noon. The automatic doors stand open as the other passengers enter the station. You follow and wheel your bag to the side so you’re out of the way. 

You take out your phone. Your mother texted that she was here ten minutes ago. You can’t see much through the busy station. It’s summer and everyone is on their way somewhere; going home or heading out on vacation. 

You’re relieved to be back but you won’t be able to relax until you’re at your mom’s house. You can’t wait to hide in your room and catch up on your reading. After four years at college, you have a long list. 

As endless as your list may be, your reprieve won’t be. You have your degree now. You need to use it. Find a job, start your life, be an adult. The prospect is exciting but terrifying. More the latter as it entails associating with strangers. You’ve never been very good at that. 

You did so well in school because it’s all you did. You didn’t go out and party, you didn’t distract yourself with dating or drinking, you didn’t even sign up for that book club that looked fun. You only stayed in and studied and occasionally ate in the cafe instead of boiling ramen or ordering in. 

You don’t see her. You roll over to a free seat and sit. You text and ask where she is. 

The general public stirs around you, blending into your peripherals as you stare at your phone and wait. You’d be better off waiting outside. Maybe. There’s a line of taxis and it’s all clustered with people trying to claim one. 

“Ahem, excuse me.” The deep tone draws your head up but your eyes don’t go all the way. You focus on the man’s neck and the silver and brown stubble under his chin. He says your name and you sit up taller. “That’s you, right? Your mom showed me a pic. She’s just run to the bathroom.” 

“Huh?” You clutch your bag tight. 

“She did tell you I was coming, didn’t she?” He asks. 

You shake your head and gnaw on your lip, “no. Who are you?” 

You don’t know him. Not by his voice or the brief peek at his face. He’s older. Maybe her age. His dark hair is peppered with grey and his face is lined around his eyes and mouth, a few softer wrinkles in his forehead. His blue eyes are as bold as gems. 

“Bucky.” He answers as if that should be explanation enough. He offers his hand. “Finally, we meet.” 

You look around and accept his hand. You shake it. “Um, okay?” 

He lets you go and grabs the handle of your suitcase. You reach for it in panic and stand. You nearly tip over and barely avoid brushing against him. 

“She didn’t mention me. At all?” 

You shake your head. 

“Bucky,” your mom’s voice undercuts the awkward introduction. You turn to watch her flutter over. “Oh, sweetie, you’re home!” 

Your mom seizes you and wraps you in a tight hug. She usually lets you have your space. You’ve never been touchy feely but you don’t protest. It has been a while since you saw her. 

“Um, mom?” You murmur as she releases you. 

She steps back and looks between you and the stranger. No, his name is Bucky. 

“Oh, yes. You two. This is Bucky. Bucky--” 

“We met,” Bucky interrupts. 

“So sorry. I had an iced coffee on the way,” she trills. 

“Bucky?” You raise your brows in your mom’s direction. 

“You remember. I told you I met a guy,” she lowers her voice and nudges you. “This is him.” 

“Oh.” 

You vaguely remember her mentioning it after Christmas. You didn’t think too much about it. You don’t remember it coming up again. She always just said she went out or talked about chores. You wonder if she didn’t tell you on purpose. If maybe she expected you to overreact. 

“We thought we could take you out for lunch as a bit of a homecoming. That train food isn’t very filling.” She smiles. “Well, it was Bucky’s idea. He’s so sweet.” 

“Honey,” he chuckles. “Please, you’re giving me a lot to live up to.” 

“Erm. If you want.” You shrug. 

“Sounds like a plan. I’m starving.” Bucky pulls your bag away and you flinch again. “Ladies, first. Want me to get your other bag?” He offers and you shake your head.  

Your mom moves first and you quickly catch up to her. You wish she’d at least warned you. You’re entirely unprepared for this. She knows you don’t do well with new people but maybe that’s why she didn’t say anything. So you couldn’t come up with an excuse to get out of it. 

The sun beats down and adds to the sheet of sweat across your nape. Bucky looms behind you, his shadow skewing on the pavement, and you search for your mom’s car. You don’t see it. 

She leads you to a dark blue car and you stare at it dumbly. 

“Bucky drove,” your mom explains. The trunk pops as Bucky rolls your bag up. You step back as he lifts it inside. You thank him again as guilt bristles in your chest. 

You follow your mom around the side of the car, waiting for her lead. When she opens the door, you open the back one. When she gets in, you get it. When she clips in her seat belt, you do. Bucky gets in on the driver’s side and drops his keys in the little tray between the cup holders. He jabs the button to turn the engine. 

He doesn’t shift into gear right away. He does up his own seat belt, adjusts his posture, then fiddles with the mirror. You glance up as his eyes dart away in the mirror. Was he looking at you?

You pick at the hem of your sleeves button-up and lean into the door. You really hope you’re not in the way. You have that rotting sensation in your gut. You’ve ruined their day. 

“Alright, everyone buckled in?” He grips the wheel with one hand, the other hooking behind your mother’s seat as he cranes and backs out of the spot. You stare at his thick fingers as you slump down in self-consciousness. You know he’s only checking his rear window but you’re always paranoid of being seen. 

He rolls the car straight and steers between the slanted rows of vehicles. He idles behind the fleet of cabs and weaves his way through the chaos. Your mom sighs and shifts. She’s a less than patient driver. 

“So, we were thinking the new bar and grill, figured you haven’t been around to try it,” your mom explains. “But if you miss Dezi’s, we can go there. Me and Bucky love getting Sunday lunch there. You remember how we used to go?” 

Your lips twitch as you fright a frown. Dezi’s is your place. You and your mom went there since you were in grade school. Knowing she’s been taking him feels like a violation. The suspicion that you’re being replaced unnerves you. You don’t have any right to be mad about it. You’re grown now and your mom’s allowed to live her life. Thing’s change, they already have. 

“New place is fine,” you grumble. 

“Great! Megan recommended it. I’ve been dying to try it.” Your mom is elated. 

She’s never short of enthusiasm but you don’t know the last time she didn’t have a single complaint. If it’s a nice day, she’s disappointed she can’t be at the beach. If she has the day off, she’s upset she has to do the laundry, even if you offer to throw it in with yours. And when she finally gets her food at a restaurant, she laments that she didn’t order the chicken instead of beef. Maybe change is good. 

“Your mom’s a great tour guide. I don’t feel so lost anymore.” Bucky stops at a light and looks at her. “Uh, Lauren?” 

“Straight then left,” she instructs him with a point of her finger. Her nails are done. Not her usual chipped paint on her short square cuticles; she has a full set with a lovely almond shape. 

He follows her directions and continues through the green. You turn your attention out the window. You were only just home for the holidays but everything feels so different. Or maybe you are too.  

There’s nothing ahead of you no, yet everything at the same time. You haven’t found much in your job search. Every job your mom sent you, you applied. You trawled the online boards and even used the student career center for help with your CV. A dozen articles littered your feed deeming the market oversaturated. 

Another disappointment for your mom. You’re sure she won’t fail to mention this one. You exhale and twine your fingers together in your lap. 

“Tired, sweetie?” Your mom asks. 

“Uh, yeah,” you answer. It wouldn’t do any good to share your worries. You still have time to find a job. Eventually, you have to get something. 

“Alright,” Bucky flicks his blinker on and waits to turn. “Here we are.” 

He pulls into the lot of the bar and grill. It’s built to resemble a log cabin and the entire theme has a rustic tint. He slides into a spot and shuts the engine off. In the silence, your stomach rumbles loudly. 

“Hungry?” He chuckles and peeks back over his shoulder. As your mom jostles her purse and untangles her seat belt, he winks. Your blink dumbly and click the button to release yourself. 

“Sure.” Your voice creaks as you pull the door handle. It doesn’t budge. You try again. Then frantically feel around for the lock. 

“Oops.” Bucky turns and hits a switch. The locks thunk back. 

Your mom gets out first and you follow. Bucky catches up and brushes by you as he passes. He beats you both to the front door and opens it for you. You trail your mom and he stays close as he enters behind you. 

“Such a gentleman,” your mom praises and giggles. She sounds bubbly. You can’t remember her sounding like that before. 

“Table for three,” Bucky says to the hostess. 

Again, he lets you go ahead of him. Your mom is ahead of you as the hostess leads you into the dining room. You’re sat at a booth. You’re relieve to have a bench to yourself, facing your mother and Bucky, but she insists on being on the outside in case she needs the bathroom. That leaves you across from him. 

“Drinks.” Bucky intones as he grabs the slender menu. “Cocktails?” 

“What do they have?” Your mom leans on him as she reads over his shoulder. 

“Hmm, interesting. Apple cider’s a bit out of season,” Bucky comments. “Figured we should celebrate. Baby girl is home and graduated.” 

You wince at the reference. Baby girl? He sucks his teeth as he examines the menu then turns it around. He offers it across the table. 

“Think I'll stick to beer,” he says. 

“Go on,” your mom goads. “Get something special, sweetie. You earned it.” 

“Oh, it’s okay, I’ll just have water.” 

“It’s a special day,” she insists.  

“Well, er...” you take the menu and nod. You look down at the listings as your cheeks burn hot. You don’t like to argue, especially when there’s no good reason. 

You try to make sense of it. Blackberry sounds good but you’re not sure what bitters are. You don’t drink. You had one glass of wine at a New Years party with your mom’s friends a few years ago and didn’t really get the appeal. It made your stomach feel swishy. 

There’s a lemonade that sounds okay. You like lemonade. You settle on that and put the menu down. Your mother scoops it up and you apologise. You should’ve asked her if she needed it. 

A server appears and takes your drink orders as she doles out a set of larger menus. You take yours and listen as she recites the specials. You don’t really catch any of it. You’ve always done better with writing than oral instruction. She leaves and you wait for the others to open their menu before you do the same. 

“This is nice,” your mom says. “I’m so happy you two are getting along.” 

You force a smile and Bucky slips his arm around her and squeezes. Your eyes meet again and his cheek dimples beneath his beard. You quickly avert your attention back to the sandwich options.

Getting along? You barely know him. Not to mention, you didn’t expect him. No use in whining about it. He's here and your mother is happy. 

[towriteloveontheirarms]

I missed talking to you (modern!bodyguard!Criston Cole x Reader)

synopsis: He was hired to protect you. However, he does so much more.

warnings: age gap, smut, p in v, fucking in the bathtub, semi public sex, afab reader

word count: 2.4k

taglist: @hopelesswritergall @urmomsgirlfriend1 @bucknastysbabe

(If you want to be tagged for a specific character/fandom or in general let me know in my asks, comments or DMs)

Dividers by me

The room is dark, safe for the dim glow of a TV illuminating a small space around itself. The sound of the video that had been playing for the past couple hours is drowned out by growing frustration. The clock on your phone shows a more than ungodly time, that brings you to huff and turn around a little more forcefully than necessary, the bed protesting against the way you let yourself fall back on it carelessly. But to no surprise even that doesn't work and so, with a groan you force yourself to get up. The idea was that walking around and grabbing a snack could potentially help. Hopefully. And so you sneak out of the room to the kitchen, where you are met with Criston Cole, the bodyguard your father had hired for you.

“Shouldn't you be long asleep?” The tall man asks with a gruff voice.

He remembers you wishing him a good night, hours earlier. The clock showed past 4am now.

“Yeah, I should.” You chuckle bitterly. “I'm just gonna make some tea and then I'm gone again.”

Cole nods silently and continues to drink his coffee. His beautiful dark eyes are trained on your neck the entire time you wait for the kettle to cook the water inside. You can feel them like a warm sensation spreading through your back. You had long since stopped to wonder what might be going on behind the windows to his soul. Deciding that, whatever it may be, would forever remain a mystery to you. At times your friends had commented though that it looked like he wanted to eat you or that he looked ready jump in front of a bullet for you. The latter was easy to ignore. He was your bodyguard after all. The first was less so.

Your train of thought is broken up by the kettle whistling. Carefully you put it in a cup along with the tea. The cup gently warming your hands. It's comforting.

You turn to Cole once more and not again. “Good night.”

“Good night.” Is his quiet answer, accompanied by another short nod.

And with that you are off to bed.

Multiple days pass idly by without any further happenings, when your friends words get to you. He looks like he wants to eat you. No matter how much you try to lie to yourself, the thought itself, without being thought into much, is a rather exciting one. So, one evening while you relax in the bathtub, you work up the nerves to test that theory.

“Criston, could you come in here for a moment?” You call through the door in the loveliest voice you can muster.

“Yes, miss? Do you need anything?” His voice comes through a crack in the door immediately.

“Don't be shy. Come in. And how often have I told you not to call me miss?” The amused lilt in your voice is clearly noticeable.

“O-of course...” Even though you are entirely covered with foam his eyes stay focused on the ground before the tub. “What is it you may need?”

“It's not nice to not look at the person you are talking to, you know?” You put on a small pout. Though it comes as a surprise when he looks at you, the tan skin of his cheeks erupting in a dark cherry colour.

“My apologies, mi… My apologies.” He mumbles hastily, expectantly awaiting your answer to his earlier question.

“Criston, I’m bored.” You make a show if yawning and stretching your arms over your head. “Can you join me? Please?”

The plea is met with him choking on his own spit. Coughing violently, tears shooting into his eyes as he does so. “I think that would be most inappropriate. In fact, I´m not even sure if I should be in here right now.”

"Awww, come on? My father is not gonna find out and I could really use some company in here." Propping your chin up on one arm on the edge of the tub, you dunk your other hand just below the surface, pulling it out to flick the little droplets in the direction of his chest.

You see the resolve in his eyes, but it is slowly wearing thin. Not that it looked particularly strong to begin with. A bit of fluttering with your lashes and he is basically gone, looking like he is ready to pounce on you as the two of you hastily remove his clothes and settle in the tub together. Exchanging heated kisses as he lifts you into his lap, tongues exploring each other’s mouths as your hands commit every inch of the other´s body to memory. The loud moan as he enters you is muffled by one of his rough hands over your mouth, trying desperately to keep anyone from hearing what the two of you are doing. The water and foam slosh against the porcelain, yet the only thing able to swallow both of your moans is the bruising, breath stealing kiss that dogs up your mind like the hot water does the room. Your hands travel over his chest restlessly, eliciting a new deep groan every time your fingers brush against the sensitive peaks. At the same time Criston’s rough hands massage your lower cheeks, lightly spreading them as he guides you up and down on his hard length. All the while your wet chests rub against each other, a sheen of sweat covering your bodies from the heat in the bathroom and your exertion.

Your moans and groans echo through the room and bounce off the tiles, but the longer you go on, the less either of you can bring yourselves to care about being caught. As the knot in your stomach draws tighter, your hands go up into Criston's dark hair to pull his head back. Resting your forehead against his, your noses touching, yet neither of you moves in to close the kiss again. Rather just remaining like this as the movement of your hips grows more frenzied from enjoyment, breathing into each other with loose hanging jaws. The dizziness resulting from it seems to only add to your sensitivity. Criston's strong arms bring you down harder and faster on his lap, eliciting even louder sounds from your lungs and pulling tears of pleasure from your eyes. The salty droplets rolling over your cheeks before joining the water that encompasses the two of you. His body begins to shake uncontrollably and before you can ready yourself, the waves of an orgasm crash over him. Despite the tremors, Criston keeps thrusting into you until you join him in the throes of his ecstasy. Fucking you through the climax until your legs still. Only then he unceremoniously lifts you off him and sits you down in the tub and dries himself off, getting dressed to stand in front of the door to take up his duty once more. Your eyes follow his every move all the while, beginning to shiver as the now cold water seeps into the still warm skin. Neither of you dares to utter a word. Silently vowing secrecy as to what had just happened. A promise Criston keeps a little too well as he only speaks to you when entirely necessary from that moment on.

The party was boring you already. Your father had wandered off to network as soon as you had arrived about a half hour ago which had stretched to eternity. Sitting at the bar you nursed a glass of wine, staring holes into the fabric of space and time as you hoped it would be over soon. And while you were lucky enough to not be bothered by any of your fathers’ coworkers, the holes Criston Cole's dark eyes burned into you didn't go quite as unnoticed as he probably would have hoped. The warm sensation has become a sort of normality ever since your moment in the bath. Spreading out from the pit of your stomach, as the brown eyes roamed over your body in the fancy dress that you couldn't wait to get out of as soon as you came home. Downing the red contents of the glass, you stand up and wander off through the long corridors, knowing that the dark-haired man would follow.

Your mind is set on clearing up his avoidant behaviour. Once you are far away enough for the sounds of the party to have fainted to a quiet buzz in the back of your ears, you finally turn to the man that followed you like a shadow.

“Do you plan on never talking to me ever again?” You ask him with crossed arms and a huff falling from your lungs.

Frustration is etched onto both of your faces and filling the air around. “I´m sorry. I wasn´t aware my job required to also be your friend.”

“That’s not what I meant, and you know it. If you regret fucking me so much, why didn't you just resign and safe everyone this stupid farce?” You argue back.

Promptly you feel the cold wall press against your front in an opposite sensation to his warm hand quieting you with a hand over your mouth once more, bringing back memories of your shared moment in the bathtub.

“Shhh or do you want anyone finding out?” He hisses into your ear, yet further down you can feel something hard press against your lower back. Pushing back against it elicits a low groan from the dark-haired man. A deep, throaty growl follows directly after as he finds the back of your neck and shoulders. Kissing and biting along your skin, his free hand tightly grabs your hair to pull it out of the way.

"Are you going to behave if I let go of your mouth, hm?" Criston's voice is barely above a husky whisper against the shell of your ear.

"Yes, I promise. I just need you so bad" you are just as desperate as he is.

In this state he could have asked almost anything of you and once his hand is removed from your mouth you would have agreed to it in an instant.

"Good girl... I'll make it good for you, but you have to be quiet. Can you do that?"

You can only answer in a hurried nod.

“Good.” Criston whispers.

The hand that was previously clamped over your mouth finds its way down your body and bunches up the fabric of your skirt until his fingertips brush against the lace of your panties.

“You knew this would happen, didn't you? Such a dirty girl.” he rasps, grinding his hips against you a bit harder. “Someone should punish you.”

“Please, punish me.” your voice shudders along with your breath.

When you turn your head to look at him your eyebrows are pulled down and drawn together in a pleading tone.

At the promise of a punishment your heart can't help but beat faster. Your lower lip immediately fits between your teeth, biting down hard to suppress the moan trying to escape as his palm makes harsh contact with your ass.

“Better be quiet. Otherwise, someone might find out what a dirty girl little miss perfect really is.” Criston taunts you.

The next slap is delivered even harsher, causing you to bite down on your lip until a very faint coppery taste introduces itself to your tongue. The hand rubs over the reddened flesh, soothing the stinging pain while Criston’s other hand snakes its way into your panties.

In response you press your behind closer to his front, feeling him groan in your ear as the movement of his hips speeds up. Instinctively you begin to rub against his fingers circling your clit. Whining from the stimulation. Stuttered breaths stumble from your lips as you desperately try to keep quiet. Only for your heart to be sent into overdrive as Criston lets go of your rear to turn your head and crash your lips together. Your hands claw at the wall, trying to find some purchase as your body gets rocked back and forth with every thrust against your backside. All the while thick digits enter your heat, curling upwards to play with your sweet spot immediately. The palm of Criston’s hand still rubs at your sensitive clit, making you see stars through half closed eyes, quiet moans get barely stifled by the hungry crashing and lapping of joined lips. Easily to be heard by anyone who would pass by you by chance, and they only grow more frantic. The air gets pushed out of your lungs entirely as you get trapped in tighter between the cold hard wall and the warm, tall body behind you, pushing you against it more. A wet tongue darts out to lick over the shell of your ear.

Criston begins to tremble with ecstasy first. A wet spot growing on the fabric separating your back from his front. Breathy groans fan hot over the side of your face and teeth nip at your earlobe. All of a sudden you freeze in bliss. Eyes rolled back and pressed tightly together, lips parted loosely in a silent scream all come together to a mask of unmistakable and unmatched pleasure. It feels as if your heart stops right along with your breath as waves of energy pulse through you, pumping the blood exceptionally fast through your veins to heighten your sensitivity as your whole body shakes and trembles in the little space between the wall and Criston's tall frame.

“I didn't regret what happened.” He whispers into the quiet, pulling your eyes from fixing your dress with a start.

“What?” The question is the only thing that comes to mind in the moment.

“I didn't regret it.” Criston repeats a little louder. “I just needed some time to process it.”

“Have you processed it now?” Even though you feel stupid for asking, the question is out before you can hold it back. “Because I would like to do it again if you are up to it.”

The dark-haired man nods. “I would like that too.”

“Good.” You smile at him, your eyes softening as they meet his. Together the two of you make your way back to the event, hoping your absence hasn't been too noticeable.

“I kinda missed talking to you.” You admit to Criston, the words barely above a whisper over your shoulder. A last quiet moment between the two of you, to make the rest of the night more bearable.

[a-star-that-burns-brightly]

CH2-12 thoughts (spoilers, I guess. You probably shouldn't be in the tag if you haven't finished the episode though.)

So! DRDT is officially back, and wow what a way to begin the rollercoaster we'll be put through the next few weeks. This episode was amazing, and I wanted to discuss my thoughts on it in a more detailed form. This episode gave us a lot of character moments that I want to at least mention, so let's get into it? Before we do though, I want to say that through these posts, I will be updating two things and showing them at the beginning and end First one being the swear statistics! It became a thing after my previous rewatch that every time a character swears, I count it, and I want to continue doing that for the rest of the series if I can so manage it.

^ current swear statistics as of CH2-11

And the second being...drumroll please!

My own personal DRDT CH2-Part 2 bingo card! If something on this list happens in CH2-Part 2, I'll check it off. Hopefully I can get a bingo or two in here, especially since, spoilers, two of the boxes have already been checked. But with all of that preamble out of the way, let's begin shall we? I’m going to cover the character moments we got in separate categories of the well…characters, rather than in order, for the sake of being concise.

Arturo

First and foremost, “Shut your whore mouth” made me scream at the top of my lungs. God I wish that was voiced. But more importantly, the thing about Arturo being very young for a plastic surgeon actually being addressed was not something I expected, especially so early. But I definitely appreciate the nuggets of Arturo backstory. Funny enough, his situation sounds very similar to Min’s in some regard, especially this line

(x) Arturo: I was only able to get this far in such a short amount of time because I specialized in plastic surgery, and nothing else. I neglected everything that wasn't immediately relevant to my goals.

This absolutely plays a factor into his relationship with his little sister. It more than likely was not just him leaving that made her commit suicide, but perhaps also years of neglect. And if she really felt like she couldn't live a life without Arturo in it, it's safe to say that their parents probably weren't the best either. The more I learn about Arturo and his homelife the more worried I am for him and especially his sister.

Veronika

Veronika didn't get much besides being her usual self, but I gave her a category because I wanted to point out two things One, Veronika calling Arturo cute. That just made me smile

And secondly, this line right here

(x) Veronika: Oh, and don't say something as boring as "I want to kill myself." I have no interest in such mundane reasons.

This is so fucked up and awful and gross and I absolutely love her for it. I just know she's going to get worse, I hope she does.

And also the fact that she apparently finds suicide to be inherently boring is very interesting, given the fact that she more than likely has the self-harm secret.

Whit

I know he didn't have much, if any major role in this episode but...listen I missed him. So much. You have actually zero idea how much I missed him and his goofiness... But also I can't believe that was the explanation for the dent in the computer lab that's been bugging me for months. Well played DT-Dev... (though the fact that Whit got away with breaking a rule solely because MonoTV thought it was funny is a bit fishy...it's almost like he's the MASTERMIND-- /hj)

We also in general got a lot of Charles and Whit moments, which I always like to see I don't think there's anything else to cover when it comes to Wh--

(x) David: Ugh! Goddamn it, Whit, does everything you say have to be made into some shitty dumb joke?! You're actually really fucking annoying! Shut the fuck up!!

...Well, when I said I wanted more Whitvid interactions I guess this can serve as a reward. ...guys dont worry this is how we can still wi--

Levi

...I mean, what else is there to say really?

No but actually I'll talk. This is what we've been theorizing for a year, and I actually had it in my predictions that Levi's secret was going to be the one revealed in this episode. But I did not expect it right at the end, nor did I expect it to be so sudden. And I don't think Levi has any reason to lie either, so I think this is his actual secret. Seeing him lose confidence and apologize for his unhelpfulness kind of stung to me, honestly. Levi has been trying to help the group since the very beginning, and that has only amplified since the start of Chapter 2. So seeing him...basically give up was very upsetting He is definitely going to be in the hot seat next week's episode and I am very excited for it, hopefully we get some insight on his past as well and...maybe a levi and nico interaction? please dt-dev? please? :>

Hu

FishyFried, as always, knocked it out of the fucking park with Hu's voice acting, and her monologue towards David was just as amazing...if not a bit terrifying, as it directly parallels with her hidden quote

I want to pay for what I’ve done. But even then, I still want to live.

I think I've said this before, but I adore David and Hu's dynamic and how both of them tackle the themes of change in their own ways, how both of them project onto the people around them to fulfill their own desires due to being stagnant in their own growth as people, it's so much fun, and I can't wait to see how this continues to develop in the later chapters I am sincerely a ch5victim!david + ch5killer!hu believer at the end of the day.

Teruko

Oh Teruko, quite a bit to discuss with you today.

For starters, her genuinely feeling embarrassed and upset upon realizing what she did wrong, apologizing for it, and (how I interpreted it anyway) beginning to realize that working alone and not accepting help from others is starting to bite her in the ass? That was not what I expected. I really did think that Teruko was going to get worse before she got better, but maybe she's improving a lot quicker than I thought (...let's hope she doesn't backslide again though, especially if the culprit is who I think it is) Also.

If I have to live with this knowledge, so the-fuck do you. And then there's her argument with David, which I already made a post about, but I want to add onto it by saying that the performances from Swords and LuucarIi here are absolutely phenomenal. One of my favorite voice acted scenes in the entire series. I have replayed Teruko's "Hah! Based on what?!" probably around 20 times and I will repeat it 20 times more because the delivery gives me actual chills. This fangan has such an amazing voice cast oh my god it's insane.

David

Oh. You are such a broken, broken man, and you are absolutely going to go down the Simon Laurent route. I actually don't have a lot to add when it comes to David's actual motivations for his actions, I think a lot of us theorized that he was trying to kill everyone and himself. But the main thing I want to talk about is the Xander shit because oh my god this man is Down Fucking Horrendous. I mentioned all the way back in this post that David idolizes Xander just as much as Xander idolizes him. What I didn't expect was for him to still be clinging onto the hope Xander gave him and trying to follow in his footsteps, and being borderline possessive over the damn dead man. Xander may have idolized David, but David is obsessed with Xander and what he represents to him. And he is willing to ruin his reputation, reliability, and dignity in pursuit of what he thinks is right. Not to mention, it puts the Tally5 image in a whole new light.

Though I still think these words apply to the very possible revolution that David, Xander, and Mai enacted towards Hope's Peak, a theory that has become even more credible after this episode, I also think these lines portray David's thought process during his actions in CH2-11 and his motivation for doing the things that he does. David calling Xander "the only good person he's ever known" is very, very telling when you consider what he personally thinks makes someone a bad person (lazy, useless, stupid). And that makes me upset. Xander and David's relationship will never not be absolutely fascinating to me. ...alSO DAVID APPARENTLY HAS MEMORIES FROM HOPE'S PEAK??? APPARENTLY??? Like am I reading that right or do I just have bad media literacy. How...How does he??? WHY does he??? Why did he say he didn't know who Xander was in the prologue???? I am very confused and I'm sure it will all be answered. Extra Thoughts !! - we got 7:30 AM confirmation, woohoo!! And the bonus of Arei swinging when she was first found was such a good detail and I’m surprised none of us noticed it, honestly. With that confirmation, that leaves basically everyone else (minus J, David, Veronika, Hu, and Nico) in the hot-seat. - the multitude of new sprites we got were so amazing, especially David's - Apparently everything that happened in the second half of CH2-11 was in the span of two hours?! Sheesh, the editing crew on the TV show must be working overtime. Hopefully they get a paycheck and its not just MonoTV who gets paid. - If I had any doubt in my brain that Eden was the culprit it has basically dissipated with this episode. I really do not know who else it could be other than her. three of the five main suspects other than her have basically been cleared up, either through alibi (J and Hu) or though plot (Levi) David and Nico are also cleared from suspicion Though there isn't really any plot or evidence reason to necessarily exclude Rose, given her moment in CH2-8 and, let's be honest, this murder being way too physically complicated for someone as lethargic as her to commit, I'm inclined to believe she is not And every other character has something that's clearly being set up to be further explored in Chapter 3 (Charles, Whit, Ace, Arturo, and Veronika) Like... even if you don't think Eden is the culprit, you can't deny that she's the odd one out here. I still think Accomplice!Levi is true, but I also truthfully think the culprit can't be anyone other than Eden - If I were to give one I-guess critique though, not just on this episode but on the trial as a whole, it's that we are four trial episodes in and there has been very, very little focus on the actual murder mystery itself. We have barely even covered 80% of the evidence. This isn't like, a huge problem for me specifically because I very much watch DRDT for the astounding character writing over the murder mysteries, and I definitely think that the lack of focus on the case is worth the amazing character moments we got in this episode. But I can see it really bothering some people, and there's a part of me that can't help but be a bit afraid that the actual solving of the murder case is going to hit the audience with a bunch of information at once and come across as a bit rushed due to the lack of focus it's had so far. I trust that DT-Dev is cooking though, and it'll probably be a lot more cohesive once we have the full trial to look through.

Predictions for CH2-13 - Like I said before, Levi is going to become the main suspect easily thanks to his secret reveal. I know Ace is going to be on his ass especially, because in his mind it would basically confirm the image he has already conjured up of Levi in his mind as a violent brute who is going to snap his neck any second. J is also going to jump to conclusions because that's just what she does, and she was already concerned about the murderer secret to begin with. - Furthermore, I think most of this episode is going to entail Teruko trying to disprove that Levi could've been the culprit. Considering the fact that there, well, isn't much evidence to suggest he didn't, maybe this episode will feature this chapter's Random Guess minigame. - I highly doubt we're getting an AM VS PM scrum debate now, but maybe we'll get one on whether or not Levi is the culprit? Maybe? - On the topic of trial minigames, I hope we get another nonstop debate, it's been like three episodes since we've had one lmao - Nico is either going to defend Levi, or reiterate the speech that J gave them in CH2-9. Either way, I hope this reveal causes them to interact it would be so interesting - We are on a track-record of having at least one person's secret exposed every trial episode. Considering the fact that Xander and Min are dead, and I do not think Teruko's secret will come out until the end of the chapter, that really only leaves Hu and Veronika...which is interesting, as they are both in the clear for being the culprit. Hu has already had multiple moments to shine in this trial, so I think its more likely that Veronika's secret will be the one getting revealed. How that happens, I am unsure. But I think Veronika will be the next person to have her secret revealed.

Conclusion Overall, I think this episode was amazing and a great way to kick off the end of the hiatus. I can already tell that these next few weeks are going to be a wild ride for us DRDT fans, but we're all in this together, so I think everything's going to be fine (nothing is going to be fine.)

UPDATED SWEAR STATISTICS: CH2-12

UPDATED BINGO CARD

[lucky-clover-gazette]

kings rising highlights & annotations

chapter 2

(easily the most chaotic commentary i've done so far)

indented text is from the book. some quotes have commentary, some do not. some comments are serious, and some are definitely not. most of them will only make sense to people who have read the series. and, like, there are spoilers. so please read the books first if you're interested!

also: part of the reason i'm doing such a close reading is to study cs pacat's style, especially in terms of how she does romance and erotica. there are "craft notes" that might seem weird, like i'm being redundant or restating something rather than analyzing, but those are more things that i want to remember/take away from the writing!

i'm going to tag these longer posts with "sam reads capri" in case anyone wants to read them all at once.

this is a google doc i wrote with overall content warnings for the captive prince series. it's not perfect, but i do think it's important to include.

CHAPTER TWO

okay so this is the first of two laurent pov chapters we ever get, and it’s an intense torture/interrogation scene. this works SO well with the “laurent is in a different genre” bit. like the reader is not only getting his perspective, but the entire vibe just shifts. damen is a passing thought. this is a psychological thriller now, full stop, for this chapter. for the first time in the series, a first-time reader gets an idea that laurent is living a totally different flavor of reality than they’ve been reading. it’s genius to put this here and now, right before the reveal, as we’re scrambling to put everything together and hurting emotionally on damen’s behalf. like, fuck the emotions and romance, we’re doing a gritty torture scene. because that’s just how it is for laurent on this bitch of an earth, as a result of his own ridiculous choices and in general

Laurent woke slowly, in dim light, to the sensation of restriction, his hands tied behind his back. Throbbing at the base of his skull let him know he had been hit over the head. Something was also inconveniently and intrusively wrong with his shoulder. It was dislocated.

oh you know i’m annotating every little detail of this man’s internal narrative. for two scenes i get to be inside laurent’s brain and i am taking every opportunity to document things about his way of thinking that are outside of damen's perception. this is cs pacat allowing me to learn things about the way laurent's mind works, that can re-contextualize the entire rest of the series. i am calling these details, which i would not be able to ascertain if not for a single chapter being from laurent's pov, “cool laurent facts.”

cool laurent fact #1: laurent orients himself in a new situation first and foremost based on the current state of his own person—physical, mental, emotional—and his surroundings. from that, he uses inductive reasoning to understand what is going on.

inductive reasoning is a method of thought that typically goes from specific and limited observation to general conclusion. from what we know of laurent, the idea of him using inductive reasoning on a regular basis makes a lot of sense. laurent might be "mr. probably" who does random insane shit, but the truth is that laurent thinks through almost all of his random insane shit before he does it. the exceptions to this are almost always narratively significant, and they happen when laurent's emotions overwhelm his ability to reason things through at all.

so, like, in this quote: "throbbing at the base of his skull let him know he had been hit over the head." the observation is the physical pain, specifically at the base of his skull. the conclusion is that he was hit in the head. it's a reasonable general conclusion, even if it could potentially be correct.

then we have "something was also inconveniently and intrusively wrong with his shoulder. it was dislocated." observation: shoulder is not working as intended, and in fact is so dysfunctional that it's intrusive. conclusion: it's dislocated.

the entire time, as laurent is thinking these things, he isn't actually DOING anything. and this, i think, is what tends to drive damen (and the attentive reader) insane, because with the exception of these alternate pov chapters, we don't actually get to live in laurent's head. while we know that laurent is thinking things through almost all of the time, our confusion comes with the fact that we can't even begin to guess WHAT laurent is thinking. and since laurent thinks before he acts, we are usually forced to reverse-engineer how the fuck he got to the conclusion AFTER the resulting action has actually been taken. and that is exactly why my annotations about laurent are the way they are in the first place.

so what happens when laurent gets it wrong? because laurent's observations are ultimately limited, and he prefers to come to a conclusion before acting, any flawed conclusions he makes can lead to immense miscalculations. to someone like damen, these miscalculations are both frustrating and avoidable, because damen is much more likely to use deductive reasoning instead.

deductive reasoning uses pre-existing general premises to come to specific conclusions. we see it a lot in damen's pov, in which the things he "knows" about the world are what often inform the action he takes. these aren't personal and specific ideas, but extant generalized theories and conclusions, which are then either proven correct or incorrect once tested. in general, this means that damen tends to act first and think second—the opposite of laurent. it's pretty obvious how this can be to damen's detriment, especially since we read the series almost entirely in his pov. a good overarching example of his deductive reasoning is the way his perspective on akielion slavery shifts throughout the series. he starts out in book 1 believing that there is honor in submission, slavery is a pact, slaves are consenting, and all slave owners uphold standards of "decency" just as he himself does. but then as damen interacts more with the world of slaves and pets, and is made a slave himself, he realizes that those conclusions were incorrect. then he assumes a new conclusion—slavery is an irredeemable institution—and acts based on that instead.

the strength of damen's deductive reasoning, compared to laurent's inductive reasoning, is the adaptability it allows. damen gets shit done when it needs to be done. he might get it done in a way that's messy or artless, lacking all of the pertinent details to do it perfectly, but his ability to apply a theory to a situation and then play it out is a great counterpoint to laurent's general approach, in which things are overthought so thoroughly that action is not taken in a timely or responsive manner. like, we literally see that in the wall grate scene in prince's gambit, which is then referenced again while they're discussing war strategy.

of course, this isn't to say that laurent's inductive reasoning isn't also adaptable. he can adapt to a situation by thinking really hard about it, drawing a conclusion, and then making his move. it's just distinctively different to read that kind of internal process from him as a pov character, compared to damen's typical way of thinking. it's part of this genre shift, i think, because it's so stressful and meticulous. this is thriller/crime/mystery genre thinking, not romance novel or war/action novel thinking. we have gone from a pov character who is like 70% impulse-driven, to a character who in his right mind wouldn't even consider following an impulse unless it was thoroughly thought through, at which point it would fail to be an impulse at all. damen is built to be a romantic lead and action hero. i can't really think of literary examples because i don't read a lot of romance and action books, but idk, disney's hercules or adora from she-ra come to mind. meanwhile laurent is built to be in a gillian flynn or [insert more niche thriller authors i enjoy] novel.

all that is to say, this isn't damen's mind anymore, and we know it from the first few sentences of the chapter. if this chapter was being experienced by damen instead, i think the opening would go something like this: "damen woke to the sensation of restriction and immediately fought against his restraints. he was not able to free himself. he also realized, in his attempt and failure to free himself, that his shoulder was dislocated."

it seems like a minor difference, and maybe it is. but i find it fun to contrast the narrative perspectives of these two fascinating characters, and i like making my own observations and conclusions. i started my annotations back in books 1 and 2 with mostly inductive reasoning, making theories from my observations, but farther into book 2 and definitely in book 3 i can now use deductive reasoning to draw conclusions about characters and events using pre-existing theories. if i'm wrong, i adjust the theory, and that adjusted theory becomes the basis through which i interpret future events. and so on. the two types of thought work beautifully together, and ideally we should all be able to use both. that's part of why damen and laurent are able to help each other grow so much as people and leaders—they're balancing each other out by mutual exposure to opposing ways of thinking.

also, another little note on this specific passage: i love laurent's snarky dismissive attitude towards his own pain, and the hint of dissociation from his physical form. i would guess that laurent thinks in a similar way about pleasurable physical sensations, too: "something was inconveniently and distractingly happening with his body. he was aroused." fuckin weirdo <3

As his lashes fluttered and his body stirred, he became hazily aware of a stale odour, and a chilled temperature that suggested that he was underground. His intellect made increasing sense of this: there had been an ambush, he was underground, and since his body didn’t feel as if it had been transported for days, that meant— He opened his eyes and met the flat-nosed stare of Govart.

i love when i predict/analyze something in detail and then it’s immediately proven correct by the following lines. laurent going on this whole inductive mind journey before realizing that govart is LITERALLY IN HIS FACE is sooooo laurent, and so NOT damen. like forget what i said before, if this was damen's pov, the chapter would simply start with "govart stared at damen."

again, this is a great way to immediately let the reader know that things are going to be different from this pov. yes yes yes yes

Panic spiked his pulse, an involuntary reaction, his blood beating against the inside of his skin like it was trapped. Very carefully, he made himself do nothing.

yeah i have a feeling the sex scenes from laurent’s pov would read a lot like this too

The cell itself was about twelve feet square, and had an entrance of bars but no windows. Beyond the door there was a flickering stone passageway. The flickering came from a torch on that side of the bars, not from the fact that he had been hit over the head. There was nothing inside the cell except the chair he was tied to.

he’s just like me fr, both in real life and how i figure things out while writing/playing d&d (“what are the environmental features, and what do they imply?” “what items can be used, and how?” etc.)

He was hit by the memory of what had happened to his men, and put that, with effort, out of his mind.

cool laurent fact #2: it takes effort for him to put aside his concern for the well-being of people he cares about. this is not what most people would assume, based on how he acts and speaks

He understood that he faced his death, before which would come a long, painful interval.

observation: he’s in a prison cell with govart specifically conclusion: he’s going to be killed, but also tortured for a whiiiiile first because govart hates him so bad

maybe that's redundant, but i just appreciate how his pov really is written like an analysis within itself. it's great. he's an observer of his own story, as well as a participant. damen doesn't usually think from such a detached angle

A ludicrous boyish hope flared that someone would come to help him, and, carefully, he extinguished it.

cool laurent fact #3: sometimes, he hopes. it takes effort for him to extinguish hope within himself (“carefully”), but he believes that doing so is necessary in order to assess circumstances like a rational adult. but still, he does hope.

in just this one sentence, we are told so much. we now know that laurent believes that hope is inherently irrational and childish, which absolutely tracks with the other things we know about his character. we can see it in his choices throughout the series so far, and we can understand exactly why he believes this based on his backstory.

Since the age of thirteen, there had been no rescuer, for his brother was dead.

as i was saying, about laurent's backstory,

also. damen exists. he literally threw a sword at a guy trying to kill you in the last book. laurent you are so smart and you are so stupid and i can’t imagine your pov being written any other way

He wondered if it was going to be possible to salvage some dignity in this situation, and cancelled that thought as soon as it came. This was not going to be dignified.

in almost every instance where someone has been given the opportunity to assault or objectify laurent in a sexual context, they’ve taken it. damen is basically the only living exception.

deduction: laurent cannot get out of this situation without being assaulted, so there's no point in trying to salvage his dignity

BUT like, unless i am completely missing something entirely between the lines, govart doesn't even attempt to sexually assault laurent in this scene. maybe that's not what laurent means here, in terms of dignity? curious what people think about this. because like on first read especially, my immediate thought when this scene started was "oh fuck am i going to have to sit through a scene of laurent being sexually assaulted", since everyone (including govart) talks so much about wanting a piece of him. so i guess it's like, was laurent thinking about that here, or was it just me? curious what others think too

also "cancelled that thought" is just slightly anachronistic, and PERFECT. love it.

He thought that if things got very bad, it was within his capabilities to precipitate the end. Govart would not be difficult to provoke into lethal violence. At all.

“if i’m going to die, i’d rather be in control of the dying. and i know i could totally piss this dude off into killing me before he means to do so, and then i would technically win. ha-ha.”

i love the slight hint of childish antagonism here, with the “at all.” like laurent needs to take the moment to roast govart in his own head, while considering the logistics of his own imminent death. it is so funny to me that we finally get this scene, where laurent gets to be in the genre he's been living for the past two books, but no one actually relevant to the story gets to witness it for themselves. laurent is moonlighting in this scene as a character in a book that isn't this book at all. he's taking a break from the romance and realism-based war strategy shit to be an out-of-his-depths thriller protagonist taking on antagonists that should absolutely be able to defeat him immediately, but somehow managing to survive by absurd unconventional means AND being snarky about it. damen has seen hints of this side of laurent, and paid attention, and so have we as the reader. but this is just… full-intensity. the narrative is allowing him to have it, and allowing us to see him have it. it’s like we’ve been only watching the a-plots of phineas and ferb episodes the whole time, and assumed that perry is probably doing some cool stuff in the b-plot, and gotten a few glimpses via dramatic irony… but now we actually get to see the perry b-plot, and it's fucking awesome. but the a-plot cast will still never know.

The chair, made of heavy oak, appeared to have been dragged in for his benefit, which was civilised or sinister, depending on how one looked at it.

yeah this is the internal monologue of a person who grew up reading books more than talking to people. just being witty in the prose of his own brain for funsies

He thought that Auguste would not be afraid, being alone and vulnerable to a man who planned to kill him; it should not trouble his younger brother.

of course there’s the damen of it all, but i also like how this sentence suggests just how often laurent really does think about auguste. looking back at past scenes and imagining laurent having auguste constantly on the mind really adds a new dimension of tragedy to his existence, and further depth to his initially hateful and eventually conflicting feelings for damen. we could have assumed this without seeing laurent's pov, but it's nice to see hints in the text.

It was harder to let go of the battle, to leave his plans at their midway point, to accept that the deadline had come and gone, and that whatever now happened on the border, he would not be a part of it.

yeah forget about my entire breakdown last chapter bc i didn’t want to assume laurent meant to be there and end up disappointed. he meant to be there. good job laurent

The Akielon slave would (of course) assume treachery on the part of the Veretian forces, after which he would launch some sort of noble and suicidal attack at Charcy that he would probably win, against ridiculous odds.

1) laurent refusing to use damen’s name in HIS OWN HEAD is so fucking funny

2) “(of course)” cool laurent fact #3: he thinks everyone is probably going to assume the worst of him the majority of the time, including damen. cool laurent fact #4: he thinks in parentheticals, which makes sense

3) i like how in the same sentence where laurent is trying to distance himself from damen with the name thing, he also admits that 1) he knows damen is a good and noble enough person to fight, and 2) he (laurent) knows that damen is going to win, and is therefore not overly concerned. which means he would be concerned if he thought damen couldn’t win. probably for the best tbh laurent has a lot on his plate already

4) talk about ridiculous odds, laurent, you literally kill someone with a chair in this chapter

One on one: he must think about what he could practically achieve.

me trying to do The Tasks with adhd

Fighting free of his bonds at this moment would accomplish, precisely, nothing. He told himself that: once; then again, to quell a deep, basic urge to struggle.

i like how this is put. i can imagine laurent talking to himself in his head throughout a lot of the series. he separates his base human urges from his rational mind and then uses the latter to placate the former. as long as he can manage to keep reason in control of emotion, this is effective. but when he can’t manage it… lol

also “accomplish, precisely, nothing” is great. he didn’t need to throw the “precisely” in there, it probably just made him feel wittier. even inside his own head to an audience of himself (that he knows of), laurent has to quip

‘We’re alone,’ Govart said. ‘Just you and me. Look around. Take a good look. There’s no way out. Not even I have a key. They come to open the cell when I’m done with you. What do you have to say to that?’ ‘How’s your shoulder?’ said Laurent.

i don’t want to be redundant, but i really am just delighted by this genre dissonance. i’m trying to read more of the romance genre, that's what brought me to capri, but THIS is the shit i'm used to.

The blow rocked him back. When he lifted his head, he enjoyed the look he had provoked on Govart’s face, as he had enjoyed, for the same reason—if a bit masochistically—the blow.

cool laurent fact #5: if the bit is good enough he’ll take the subsequent pain. hell, he’ll even enjoy it

god i want to read a thriller novel with laurent as the protagonist SO BAD. i think if pacat ever writes capri again she should do that, and have damen like. kidnapped. it’s not indulgent romance fluff like summer palace, it’s laurent doing badass chaotic hero shit trying to find his fucking wife

He forced himself to keep his voice steady.

i wonder how many times he thought this throughout the series. probably many

‘I think you have one piece of leverage over a very powerful man. I think whatever it is you have on him, it’s not going to last forever.’

context, as i recall: govart knows that the regent had his brother killed, i think? and he has the evidence to substantiate that claim if it was ever made. laurent pieces this together with guion, somehow, offscreen at the end of this chapter. or maybe he finds out later from loyse? but i feel like laurent is more proactive than that

‘Want me to tell you why you’re here? Because I asked him for you. He gives me what I want. He gives me whatever I want. Even his untouchable nephew.’

again, i'm kinda shocked that govart doesn’t actually try to do anything sexual with laurent here. i mean i'm glad that he doesn't, but also this quote makes it sound like that’s why govart asked in the first place. maybe it was just for violent revenge though, and humiliation?

also, like, how exactly did laurent get here? sounds like his forces were expected and overpowered at the fort, right? and he just kinda… got handed off to govart, under the regent’s blessing and guion’s supervision?

'At some point one of us will dispatch the other.’ He made himself speak without undue emotion, just a mild remark on the facts.

probably not surviving this, nbd (but still actively putting effort into regulating his emotions so he can survive)

digging into this more: i personally have this thing where my response to seemingly insurmountable odds, especially emotional ones, tends to be “once i’ve survived this, how will i explain how i did it?��

this whole approach is demonstrated really well in the masterpiece of a doctor who episode “heaven sent." it's first and foremost a meditation on persistence and grief, which are two themes very relevant to laurent's overall story. laurent’s approach to withstanding torture in this chapter, as well as his manner of survival after auguste's death, remind me a lot of "heaven sent" and my own personal methodology. fuck it, here are some laurent-coded "heaven sent" quotes, as a treat:

"The first rule of being interrogated is that you are the only irreplaceable person in the torture chamber. The room is yours, so work it. If they're going to threaten you with death, show them who's boss. Die faster."

"Rule one of dying: don’t. Rule two: slow down. You’ve got the rest of your life. The faster you think, the slower it will pass. Concentrate. Assume you’re going to survive. Always assume that. Imagine you’ve already survived. There’s a storeroom in your mind. Lock the door and think. This is my storeroom. I always imagine that I’m [here]… showing off. Telling you how I escaped—making you laugh. That’s what I’m doing right now. I am falling. I’m dying. And I’m going to explain to you how I survived. Can’t wait to hear what I say."

"I'm going to get out of here and find whoever put me here in the first place. And whatever they're trying to do, I'm going to stop it. Which might take a little while, so do you want me to tell you a story? The Brothers Grimm… according to them, there was this emperor, and he asks this shepherd's boy, ‘How many seconds in eternity?’ And the shepherd's boy says, "There's this mountain of pure diamond. It takes an hour to climb it, and an hour to go around it. Every hundred years, a little bird comes and sharpens its beak on the diamond mountain. And when the entire mountain is chiseled away, the first second of eternity will have passed!’ You must think that's a hell of a long time… personally, I think that's a hell of a bird."

it's the small victories, right? laurent can't exactly conceive of an eternity of grief like the endlessly-regenerating doctor, but those seven long years without auguste in vere must have felt like a torture chamber of their own. and, of course, there's this actual torture chamber, which laurent escapes thanks to his insane reckless persistence. what i mean to say is, laurent of vere is a hell of a bird :) i'm glad we get to spend some time in his head.

'If you kill me, whatever it is that you have on him isn’t going to matter. It will just be you and him, and he’ll be free to disappear you into a dark cell too.’ Govart smiled, slowly. ‘He said you’d say that.’

girl that doesn’t make it untrue are you stupid (yes)

‘He said, “The only way to make sure my nephew doesn’t talk his way free is to cut his tongue out.”’ As he spoke, Govart pulled out a knife. The room around Laurent greyed; his whole attention narrowed, his thoughts attenuating.

yeah, this WOULD be the thing that scares him most. last time when he was gagged, it was technically part of his plan. this would be basically a death sentence, because laurent knows that his words are what keep him alive

‘Except that you want to hear it,’ said Laurent, because this was only beginning, and it was a long, winding, bloody road till the end. ‘You want to hear all of it. Every last broken syllable. It’s the one thing my uncle never understood about you.’ ‘Yeah? What’s that?’ ‘You always wanted to be on the other side of the door,’ said Laurent. ‘And now you are.’

“you are a messy bitch who lives for drama. and i AM the drama.”

basically, laurent buys himself more time 1) being alive and 2) keeping his tongue by essentially volunteering to have information tortured out of him. this is actually a pretty classic laurent move—remember all the way back in book 1 annotations, when i brought up this quote from sharp objects by gillian flynn?

"Sometimes if you let people do things to you, you’re really doing it to them… know what I mean? If someone wants to do fucked-up things to you, and you let them, you’re making them more fucked up. Then you have the control. As long as you don’t go crazy."

By the end of the first hour (though it felt longer), he was in quite a lot of pain, and was losing touch with how much, if at all, he was delaying or controlling what was happening.

you know for all of laurent’s comments about damen valuing honor and fair play and Doing The Right Thing, he really has no idea that damen would see this happening and immediately murder everyone involved in getting laurent into this situation

His tongue was intact, because the knife was in his shoulder. He had accounted that a victory, when it had happened. You had to take pleasure in small victories. The hilt of the knife protruded at an odd angle. It was in his right shoulder, already dislocated, so that breathing was now painful. Victories.

love this use of a previous laurent-ism. god he’s made for this kind of situation why is this man in a romance novel (i’m happy he’s in a romance novel if that’s not clear, he shouldn’t have to be in these situations even if it’s entertaining and compelling and badass. being loved is harder for laurent to process than being tortured and that means he’s in the right genre to truly challenge his character into growth and catharsis)

He had come this far, he had caused his uncle some small consternation, had checked him, once or twice, forced him to remake his plans. Had not made it easy.

these sound an awful lot like dying words. the fact that this is the consolation prize laurent gives himself upon imminent death—that he’s won against his uncle a few times—almost feels like a subversion of a heroic martyr. i’m not big on martyrdom, so i almost think it’s more satisfying for laurent to die telling himself he’s Won against someone who’s hurt him, than telling himself he’s dying to save people who love him and still want him around. admittedly he does have that kind of martyr moment later, when he hands himself over at the end of book 3, but... does he even fully mean to die then? i know he has loyse’s testimony in his back pocket. is his intention still to survive, even then, or is he just satisfied that loyse could potentially bring down the regent once he's gone? idk, it just doesn't feel quite right for laurent just to give up his life completely, even if that's how damen interprets it. even then, i think he'd still have the intention to somehow survive, or at least Win against his enemies. laurent isn’t dying for anyone’s sins—if he’s going to die, he’s taking the sinners down with him, and probably counts himself among them.

i'll make sure to revisit this when the time comes.

His only advantage was that he had managed to free his left hand from its bonds.

personal tangent but this reminds me of the time my level 1 sorcerer was arrested in dungeons and dragons and she shoved her hand up her sleeve and replaced it with a mage hand, so it looked like she was handcuffed for her trial but actually wasn’t. and then she used the real hand to flip off the council running the trial and escape. she and laurent would get along

Because it was impossible to hear anything, he reasoned—or had reasoned, when more detached—that whoever had put him in here with Govart would return with a wheelbarrow and sack to take him out, and that this would happen at a prearranged time, since there was no way for Govart to signal. He therefore had a single goal, like moving towards a retreating mirage: to reach that point alive.

not him waiting for his corpse uber… and someone pushing the wheelbarrow who he can turn against govart. i like how laurent seems to have already made this plan, but this is the first time we hear of it. even in his pov we aren’t getting every single thing in his head

Guion’s voice. ‘This is taking too long.’

BOOOO TOMATO TOMATO

His voice was a little hoarser than it had been starting out; his response to pain had been conventional.

“his response to pain had been conventional” god he is so fucking funny.

laurent, rolling his eyes as he swirls the glass of water he’s using to swallow the maximum safe dose of ibuprofen: “my physical human reaction to torture is just so… banal”

Laurent closed his eyes, wrapped his unsteady left hand around the hilt, and pulled the knife out of his shoulder.

i’m listening to an instrumental music playlist right now and an acoustic cover of lady gaga and ariana grande’s “rain on me” came on the second laurent ripped out the knife

The hilt of the knife was slippery.

love how this doesn’t say “with blood,” because it doesn’t have to. also i took a quick break from reading and now there is an instrumental cover of “death of a bachelor” by panic! at the disco playing, which is rather appropriate for this scene

As, with his ruined right arm, Laurent swung the chair. The heavy oak hit Govart in the ear, with the sound of a mallet striking a wooden ball. Govart staggered and went down.

LET’S FUCKING GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!

Laurent focused all his remaining strength on the task of reaching the barred door and placing himself on the other side of it, dragging it closed behind him and turning the key that was still in the lock. Govart didn’t get up.

laurent, facing certain death and defeat, used the chair he had been tied to and tortured in to murder and imprison his two captors respectively. kind of a shame he doesn’t end up killing the regent with a bed for similar poetic justice (not really, i think the regent’s death is perfect)

In the stillness that followed, Laurent found his way from the bars, to the open corridor, to the opposite wall, which he slid down, finding at the midway point that there was a wooden bench, which took his weight. He had expected the floor.

i love this image so much—wait is this. it is. ladies and gentlemen and others, this is LAURENT LEAN #12!!!!

He did laugh then, a breathless sound, with the sweet, cool feel of the stone at his back. His head lolled.

snarky action hero laurent i love you so very much. sorry about the torture tho

‘Guion,’ said Laurent, without opening his eyes. ‘You had me tied up and locked in a room with Govart. Do you think name-calling will hurt my feelings?’

see previous comment

‘Let me out!’ The words ricocheted off the walls. ‘I tried that,’ said Laurent, calmly. Guion said, ‘I’ll give you anything you want.’ ‘I tried that too,’ said Laurent. ‘I don’t like to think of myself as predictable. But apparently I cycle through all the usual responses. Shall I tell you what you’re going to do when I stick the knife in for the first time?’

it took me a second to understand what’s being said here. i got briefly stuck on ��i tried that,” but looking back on previous dialogue and the rest of what laurent says here, i think it’s something like this:

guion: let me out laurent: yeah i asked for that too when faced with imprisonment and torture guion: i’ll give you what you want laurent: i also tried that. damn if you’re saying all the same stuff i did, maybe i’m more of a basic bitch than i thought. well hey if we’re the same i can tell you how you’ll react when i torture you, just how i reacted when govart tortured me (i am threatening you)

‘You know, I wanted a weapon,’ said Laurent. ‘I wasn’t expecting one to walk into my cell.’

okay now he’s just congratulating himself. earned

‘You’re a dead man when you walk out of here. Your Akielon allies aren’t going to help you. You left them to die like rats in a trap at Charcy. They’ll hunt you down,’ said Guion, ‘and kill you.’ ‘Yes, I’m aware that I have missed my rendezvous,’ said Laurent.

every line he says is a banger. this is the verbal equivalent of wearing sunglasses and walking away from an explosion

‘There was a man I was supposed to meet. He’s got all these ideas about honour and fair play, and he tries to keep me from doing the wrong thing. But he’s not here right now. Unfortunately for you.’

THIS LINE FUCKS

and i love that this is how he regards damen. i love that he calls him a man, and not a slave. i love that it's "he TRIES to keep me from doing the wrong thing," because laurent would never give damen the satisfaction of completely taking control (except during sex, but we'll talk about that later). overall, i love how the entire phrasing is just the tiniest bit admiring and endeared, even though laurent is simultaneously insulting damen's integrity (a quality that we know DAMN WELL laurent admires deeply).

and hey!! cool laurent fact #6: he is totally aware of how down bad damen is, and the way damen has willingly taken the role of his (laurent’s) evil impulse control. and laurent doesn’t seem to particularly hate that, or even resist it, at this point in the series. this makes early to mid book 3 even funnier, in which laurent antagonizes damen and his friends (mostly nik) cartoonishly while KNOWING that damen honors him and feels guilty for lying, so therefore tolerates and even defends laurent's petty bullshit at his own and also nik's expense. just because damen cares about fair play, doesn't mean that his ideas about fairness are like… rational. or sane. and laurent knows that damen's thoughts upon his return and dramatic reveal are probably going to be along the lines of "i lied to laurent and also i murdered his brother, so it's technically not wrong for him to lash out."

i'm looking forward to the future of their dynamic, without those giant lies and power imbalances between them. i don't even mind the "angst" of laurent being a petty bitch in the next few chapters, because we know he's being a stubborn idiot and it can only last so long before he breaks, and he doesn't have power over damen to actually abuse. while laurent previously held socially-reinforced authority over damen, they're about to find themselves on even footing. therefore it IS fair play for them to be freaks to each other, and i think a part of laurent is looking forward to that too. like he'll probably figure out his shit with damen, maybe, eventually. he knows damen will try his best to make laurent do the right thing, and laurent will most likely let him win. but he is also going to be a dramatic bitch about it first. as long as he survives.

needless to say, guion does not stand a chance.

‘Isn’t there? I wonder how my uncle is going to react when he finds out that you killed Govart and helped me to escape.’ And then, in the same dreamy voice, ‘Do you think he’ll hurt your family?’ Guion’s hands were fists, like he still had them wrapped around bars. ‘I didn’t help you escape.’ ‘Didn’t you? I don’t know how these rumours get started.’

>:)

Laurent regarded him through the bars. He was aware of the return of his critical faculties, in place of which up to now had been the tenacious adherence to a single idea. ‘Here’s what has become painfully clear. My uncle instructed that if you captured me, you were to let Govart have me, which was a tactical blunder, but my uncle had his hands tied, thanks to his private arrangement with Govart. Or maybe he just liked the idea. You agreed to do his bidding. ‘Torturing the heir to death wasn’t an act you wanted attached to your own name, however. I’m not certain why. I can only surmise, despite a truly staggering array of evidence to the contrary, that there is still some rationality left on the Council. I was put in an empty set of cells, and you came with the key yourself, because no one else knows I’m here.’ Pressing his left hand to his shoulder, he pushed away from the wall and came forward. Guion, inside the cell, was breathing shallowly. ‘No one knows I’m here. Which means no one knows you’re here. No one’s going to look, no one’s going to come, no one’s going to find you.’ His voice was steady as he held Guion’s gaze through the bars. ‘No one’s going to help your family when my uncle comes, all smiles.’ He could see Guion’s pinched expression, the tightness in his jaw and around his eyes. He waited. It came in a different voice, with a different expression, flatly. ‘What do you want?’ said Guion.

1) the complex inductive reasoning is back! laurent is going to be just fine

2) laurent just unpacked guion’s plan exactly how i’ve been attempting to unpack laurent’s bullshit in my annotations for the past 2+ books. except mine are much more bewildered, and oftten inaccurate. but that's all a part of the fun. i appreciate the small victories of occasionally getting it right ;)

[heloflor]

So this was supposed to be part of my other fop post but it got way too long (both posts did tbh) and is a different topic than the other one. So yeah here’s a bunch of random thoughts about the show in general from what I’ve seen of it. For context I’ve only seen the first 4-5 episodes + “Battle of the Dimmsonian” + the Cosmo-Wanda-Peri scenes in “Lost in Fairy World” and “Operation: Birthday Takeback”.

SPOILERS for “Operation: Birthday Takeback” for the last three dashes (2.4k words below):

- Putting it in first since it’s still related to Peri but I’m pretty amused by the whole “Tumblr sexyman” situation. I mean, less than two weeks ago all canon pics we had of him were baby pics. It’s the same deal when I see people call him a father figure to Dev, I can’t help but be like “wdym father figure? He’s barely an adult! He’s too young!”

It’s like imagine you have a neighbor who have a baby when you’re 9-10, then they move out and 20 years later you meet their kid as an adult. You can clearly tell they’re an adult and treat them as such but also it’s a bit weird bc your last and only memories of them were of a baby. Idk, I see Peri’s character as an adult but also he’s still a bit of a kid, you know? I feel like I explain this better in the other post tbh.

- In retrospect it’s also very funny to see how, when people talk about the decline of fop, they point at the inclusion of the new characters, including Poof. Yet look where we are now! If you thought the baby was the problem, apologize to him, now! /j

But yeah more seriously, personally I never minded Poof. He was definitely a useless addition, like outside of the handful of episodes focused on him he mostly just stands there looking at the other characters, but he was also a cute baby, so I’ve always been fine with him being around. He’s a useless but inoffensive addition, and I think the decline of the show around that time had less to do with him and more to do with the writing as a whole.

- Last thing about Peri before moving on to the show in general, which tbh I could've put in the other post: I've seen people talk about the idea of Hazel and Dev switching fairies and I kind of agree with it.

Not only because Cosmo and Wanda have the experience needed to help a kid like Dev (though it wouldn't be all sunshine and rainbows) while Hazel's situation is easier for Peri, but also it's worth noting that Dev needs a parental figure, which Cosmo and Wanda can be, while Hazel misses her older brother, who Peri is around the same age of. Idk, I feel like this could work, or at least make things easier for everyone involved (but also especially for Dev).

- Something I originally wanted to put in the tags of the other post but fuck it: I’m really not a fan of them releasing the episodes so soon one after the other. With serialized shows, I’m always been more of a fan of having an episode a week you can chew on and theorize about, rather than being given everything at once. Also it takes a while for the cargo to get on the ships if you catch my drift.

I’d also complain about seeing all those plot-related episodes one after the other with none of the more casual stories in-between that give us more character moments, but honestly that’s on me for looking up spoilers.

- Going to the early show, I think the first episode is such a good introduction! I especially like the amount of focus on Cosmo and Wanda, it’s good to have them reintroduced given how flanderized they became in the og show. I’m especially happy with Cosmo! He arguably had it worse than Wanda in the og and it’s so good to see him shine this much in this first episode (also I love his human form having a bit of a gut)! On that note, they did a fantastic job having them around a lot while still giving Hazel enough time to be introduced properly and get us to care about her as the MC!

But yeah I really like this first episode, fantastic beginning to the show! The only issue I “really” have with it is the way Cosmo and Wanda go back to being godparents just because Hazel made a strong enough wish or something, it felt a bit arbitrary rather than them just telling her who they are.

And on that note, big fan of that one scene where they immediately notice her trying to run away and try to talk her out of it. I love the contrast between them starting off as disasters being barely capable of passing off as humans at the beginning of the episode, and them being perfectly in their element the second they start talking to Hazel about her running away in this scene. It’s such a good way to see how much experience they have with taking care of kids!

- I’m not going to go episode by episode but one thing that bothers me a lot in the second one is that rule of “kids should get whatever they wish for”. Doesn’t that...go against the whole concept of having rules in the first place???

They should’ve replaced it with something along the lines of “a kid should always get the fairy that fits them the best”, not only bc it would work perfectly well for the episode, but also from what I’ve heard Foop (now Irep) is coming back and I could 100% see him use that rule to his advantage given Peri and Dev were such a bad match (I’m guessing anti-fairies don’t actually follow Da Rules but maybe they could still use it as an excuse regardless since fairies do have to follow them or something?)

- Call we talk about the fact Hazel is clearly autistic? Like is this a canon thing in the show? Are there people out there talking about it? No because seriously:

The fidget toys (Cosmo and Wanda’s disguises), her special interest for rocks, her anxiety over making new friends which is reinforced as uncommon when that one girl she befriends comments on how easy and not scary it is to approach other people (also Hazel’s “what am I supposed to talk about with them? School lunches?” comment in the teachers friend episode), her liking for fries which could be seen as her being potentially picky (bit of a stretch tho), her comment about liking the DMV if only for the reaction she gets that makes her seem “different”, her struggles to come up with a wish on the fly with minimal/vague instructions (episode 2), her character arc throughout the show apparently having to do with her not wanting things to change (me too girl), her being considered mature for her age, the angry outbursts when things don’t go how she hoped, pretty sure there’s also a lot of stimming that I have yet to pick up on (see if any of them repeat often). Like, there’s no way ALL of that was a coincidence!

I’d also like to mention at the beginning of the Dino episode, when her dad is explaining things to her, he starts talking louder and louder in excitement until his wife tells him to quiet down. Makes me think her dad’s likely neurodivergent as well. Also this moment hurts my soul a bit, as someone who’s both been on the receiving end of it and done it to someone else, in both cases it sucks.: /

- Took me until like episode 4 to realize the town she lives in is named after the Dimmadomes, with the hat in it (the very first shot of the intro). Also you can see their infinite house in the background, both in that shot and the show in general, and I absolutely adore that they committed so hard to this joke! That giant ambiguously-shaped-like-a-hat skyscraper that we never see the top of is just *chief kiss*.

- On that note Dev’s introduction in the first episode made me laugh, if only for the references. I also find it kinda funny he has such a big speaking role considering he doesn’t do anything for the rest of the pilot and the next few episodes. Then again I guess it’s in character for him to make such a show of introducing himself.

- Still on general stuff, I’m a bit curious about how the timeline went in regards to Cosmo and Wanda retiring and going on vacation “right after” Timmy (iirc they don’t voice it like that in the show). Like I’m having a hard time believing they would just ditch their then-child son to go on vacation, and then come back when he’s an adult. So I ended up having a bunch of headcanons.

Basically, after leaving Timmy they do take what was supposed to be a short leave to think of their future since it feels strange to get a new kid after so long with the same one + I like the idea that Cosmo and Wanda’s marriage did suffer while living with Timmy and they want to work on it before getting a new kid (the whole thing about them feeling confined, made worse if the “stopping time for 50 years” wish is canon) + Poof/Peri is struggling with the reality of having to leave Timmy behind and is nervous about his parents having a new godkid because of it.

Eventually they decide to retire, got to marriage counseling, possibly get Poof/Peri into therapy, and raise their son until he’s an older teen/young adult, at which point they leave for their vacation. And while the vacation is 10 thousand years for them, it’s like, 5 years at max in their present. And in that meantime, Peri starts his godparents studies (or however it works), leaves the house and changes his name.

Btw Cosmo and Wanda would 100% invite him to the vacation, he’d just refuse in a mix between wanting to be away from his parents for once, wanting to maybe surprise them a bit with his work and/or just get started with work, and not knowing how long the vacation would be. He’d also probably tell them to just use this time as some new honeymoon to finish rebuilding their marriage (though by that point it must’ve gone back to being strong). Oh and Cosmo and Wanda would send Peri postcards every so often, which would also let him know how long they’ve been gone.

Once they come back from vacation, I’d imagine there’s like less than a month between them “moving to the human world” and meeting Hazel, hence why they didn’t reconnect with Peri. They didn’t really know how to contact him and were busy with the move, and afterwards they had a godkid to take care of so they couldn’t exactly go back to Fairyworld.

As for Peri, he hears through the gravepine that his parents are back, and would be happy until he realizes they’ve been gone for 10 thousand years, hence him freaking out about meeting them again (he doesn’t know how much they might’ve changed with how long it’s been). Also he can’t contact them bc he’d hear about them coming back due to them taking in Hazel, meaning they’re in the human world and he doesn’t know where. Also he might be intimidated to contact them, which doesn’t help his decision-making.

So yeah, that’s all for how I could imagine this whole vacation thing going and how it fits with them having a child.

- Since I’m talking about Cosmo and Wanda’s marriage, I’ve heard about the whole “they fixed their marriage” before watching the show and oh my god I can’t get over how fucking adorable those two are in this show!!! I fucking love them.

- And on that note I’m incredibly amused that this show had the balls to reference the mpreg. Twice. Especially since it doesn’t even specify the whole “that’s just how fairies work”! In the eyes of people who never watched the og show, “A New Wish” just casually dropped the fact that Cosmo’s a trans man (bc let’s be real, how else are you supposed to interpret those lines if you haven’t watched the og show?) or you get the vibe that the writers wanted to make him trans (+ Wanda by proxy since she’s Peri’s bio mom) but weren’t allowed so that’s how they got past the censors.

And I love this because you just know Hartman would be furious about it! With our current society more aware of trans people and how men can in fact get pregnant, I could definitely see him sweep the whole mpreg thing under the rug, hoping people would forget about his “”accidentally-progressive”” (and also very sexist 😒) episode, but nope! New show said Cosmo was pregnant and gave birth! And better yet it didn’t even elaborate further! It just goes “btw this guy has an uterus and was once pregnant, here’s his bio child if you need more proof” and then walks on like nothing happened, I love it!

- Going back to the episodes talk for the last three dashes, there’s that shot at the very end of “Operation: Birthday Takeback” that I really dislike. It’s the one when Dev lashes out on Peri, with him hovering over Peri who’s laying on the ground in fear.

Really not a big fan of this shot bc 1. It makes Dev look way too much like a villain, especially with the way Peri’s laying like a servant that gets beaten up, and 2. Peri, honey, you’re a grown ass man; why are you so scared of that 10 years old scarred kid that’s lashing out while in a very vulnerable mental state? What are you doing on the ground buddy? I’m not asking for him to fight back but at least stand up! Don’t act like that kid can actually hurt you! Btw I’m completely fine with Peri afterwards looking like a dejected puppy (after Dev makes his wish), it’s just that one shot with him on the ground that I dislike.

- Obviously I’m genuinely curious to see how things are going to go in the next episodes (which apparently air tonight?). Like obviously Dev is going to spiral but if you have a scene at school how will it go? How will Hazel feel about the whole thing? What about Peri? Is he going to be gone for a few episodes? Be a temporary third fairy to Hazel? Crash at Cosmo and Wanda’s for a while?

(Personally I’m hoping for the third option, it would be a good way to still give him appearances to show the main plot’s still going without giving him to much screentime, which could take away from Hazel. Also given how much he wants to appear independent, I don’t see him being a third fairy to her, though I think he’d be ok with staying at his parents for a bit, if only for emotional support (though tbh I doubt they’ll do that, most likely he’ll be doing his own thing off-screen for an episode or two). Also I want to see a “human” design for him)

OK so I wrote this yesterday before the Irep episode came out, so on one hand nevermind all that but on the other hand I’m letting it in bc I AM curious as to how things are going to evolve with our main cast, especially with Dev spiraling and pushing both his bestie and fairy away.

- Btw is nobody going to talk about how Vicky’s dress might be a reference to one of the “Oh Yeah” shorts?

- VERY LAST SECOND ADDITION, SPOILERS FOR IREP: So yesterday before I finished both this and the other post the new episodes dropped, with a few clips shared on Tumblr. And OH MY GOD IREP’S DESIGN!!! The fact that they kept him as a cube makes me so happy!!! I was HOPING at least ONE part of him would be a cube and they delivered!!! He looks like absolulte dogshit I love it!!! Bc yeah for some reason I remember Foop as a character you’re not supposed to take seriously at all? And as a result I really like how stupid Irep looks. A+ design right there! /gen

[theflashesoflove]

break it to me

Jan Stevens x f!reader (nsfw)

summary: Jan Stevens and one of her female residents kept dancing around each other for too long. At one particular afternoon the resident couldn’t take it anymore and recorded a voice message to put Jan Stevens in her place.

a/n: watching this film was (not) a mistake. i can’t stop thinking about her. so here’s a quick and rather simple (?) one-shot since i’m pretty spent after writing the previous piece and needed to relax my brain (yes i’m weak and fragile like that when it comes to writing even if i enjoy it). but i had to release this off my head, ahhh!!!

warnings/tags: mentions of smoking, sub!jan and dom!reader dynamics, dirty talk, (dicta)phone sex

word count: 2.5k

One of the things that accompanied your residence at the Sonic Catering Institute was interviews with Stones, Jan Stevens’ documenter. It all consisted of rather simple questions about your background, about the relationship within the band and about your stay at the institution. 

You never really felt that someone would want to listen about your life, so usually you kept silent, not being shy, just keeping your thoughts to yourself. And there were quite a lot of them. So these interviews were a breath of fresh air, having the ability to prattle on about stuff because someone asked about it. A good conversation always made you so talkative it was almost impossible for you to stop. In a nice company, you felt comfortable to talk more, and Stones seemed like a decent man, though a bit manipulative with his questions on rather sensitive topics regarding your band. 

He asked you about the quarrel among your bandmates that you didn’t participate in, about what you would like to do after the program was over, about your relationship with your family and about your personal interests, apart from sonic catering. You answered the questions with a certain lightness in your chest, happy to be listened to for once. 

“And for my last question,” Stones started, his attention entirely on the notebook in his hands. “How do you feel- uh,” it seemed as though he was searching for words in his notes, “about the hostess of the institute? Do you like her?”

Oh, that. You and Jan Stevens had a certain dynamic since the first day you arrived. She seemed drawn to you, and you never really protested. She was friendly and helpful, generous and all that stuff. But sometimes she was also playful and tactile, and certainly chattier with you more than with the other members of the band. And did you like her? That would be an understatement. She ignited a fire within you that could never be put out. It was obvious that she felt pretty much the same. 

“Who’s asking?” you smirked and took a drag on your cigarette. 

“W- well, I am asking. So, do you like her?” Stones replied, suddenly very nervous. 

Why would that information be necessary anyway? It was obvious that you liked her. But maybe not to Jan Stevens herself? Even after you kissed? 

Yeah, that happened, too. What a strange encounter it was. Jan Stevens caught you in the backrooms and initiated a conversation that didn’t last very long. At some point, she gave you one last praise about your performance and, as if pulled by an invisible force, leaned down and kissed you. You were startled with such straightforwardness, but you liked it. It was a quick, softest kiss, you didn’t even have the time to wrap your arms around her. She pulled away, a somewhat terrified look on her face. For some reason she felt the urge to apologise and after muttering a soft 'I’m so sorry', she disappeared. 

Ever since that day she tried distancing herself from you, it was very obvious that she fought a battle in her head every time she looked at you during late night dinners and midday meetings with your band. Nothing could hide her yearning hungry gaze and how she squirmed in her seat every time you entered the room. You never asked her about that kiss, you never told her how much you wanted her. And sometimes it felt even enraging, how she decided for both of you to end something that didn’t even begin. She could come and get it, after all. If only she had the guts to do it.

“Jan Stevens reads your notes, doesn’t she?” Of course, she did. That was the whole point of the interviews. Stones nodded. “I don’t think my bandmates received that question, huh?”

Stones’ expression gave out that no, none of them did. Your lips curled into a grin, and you looked at the dictaphone on the coffee table. 

“Are you recording all of this? On this thing?” you asked. Stones nodded once again and you grounded the cigarette out in the ashtray. “I am very grateful for the hostess’ support. And yes, I like her. I like her very, very much. Can I ask you for a favour?”

“Yes, why?”

“Can you leave me to it? There are some things I want to say to Jan Stevens in private.” At first Stones wanted to protest but in the end he didn’t really care. 

“Alright, I need to go to the bathroom anyway.” And he left. 

You looked at the clock on the wall: 3:20 p.m. Oh, this is going to be a long message. Jan Stevens had no idea what she got herself into. 

“So instead of talking to me directly you send Stones off to me to talk about us? I have to admit, I am a bit angry. You really got under my skin, huh,” you started, grabbing the dictaphone from the table. 

“I… I meant it. I like you. And I know that you like me. Why did you run away that night? I see how you look at me. I see it all. And I could give you everything, if only you had asked. You could have just invited me to your house and I would rush to slip out of my bed and come see you. And you could personally ask me if I like you.

“I have something in mind, though. Please, if you don’t want to listen to all of this, you can turn it off. But maybe you need this. Maybe I need this. I just- I want you to know that I not just like you, I want you. And I never told you otherwise, so I don’t understand- okay. We can talk about it later.  I hope we will. Now, If you allow me by listening further, I could indulge you in something.”

Closing your eyes, you took a deep breath and thought about it for a second. You had to just start. It would come to you naturally. 

Then, you started your monologue. Slowly, in airy voice, building up necessary tension and separating your words with languid pauses.

﹉﹉﹉﹉﹉﹉﹉﹉﹉

“Please, make yourself comfortable. I am not used to performing with my voice, but I think I know a thing or two. And are you in your office right now? I hope not. If you are, I want you to press pause and go to your bed. If you are already in bed, just lay down and rest the dictaphone on your pillow. Good.

“Now, be a good girl and undress yourself, don’t worry, I’ll wait for you, but don’t make me wait for too long. I want you completely bare for this… Did you start undressing yourself? You better hurry up. I’m growing impatient, dear. And I don’t want to sit here for too long and make Stones nervous, after all. Yes, slide these knickers down your legs. I wonder what colour they are. Oh, how I wish to be there right now and take them off myself. You have absolutely no idea. Keep undressing if you didn’t finish already. I’ll give you a few more seconds…

“Very well. Lie back down on your pillows. Hmm… Close your eyes. Bring your fingers to your mouth, two is enough. Good, good. Make them nice and wet, push them as deep as they can go. I want you to push in and out, in… and out. Yes. A few more times just for me? Aren’t you a sweet thing, Jan Stevens? I wonder what you taste like. I wonder how it would feel to have your lips wrapped around my fingers. Now, you can take them out. Make sure they are really wet, don’t cheat. Alright, slide them down your body, slowly! Yes, yes, right between your breasts. When you reach your belly button, stop.

“I want you to touch your breasts. Don’t rush, just nice and gentle, just like that. Just like I would do. Play with your nipples, hmm, yes, you can rub them, you can wet your fingers once again and circle. You can pinch yourself, if you’d like. Yes, yes, I knew you would like that. 

“I can just imagine you laying there, are your legs spread? Yes, make sure you make yourself open for me, and no, don’t stop touching your breasts. Be patient. Oh, what a mistake you had made. You thought you could fool me with this stupid interview, but now I am the one in charge. And you will do as I say. Right, where was I? You can slide your hands down your sides, but don’t you dare touch that pussy. Just across your stomach, yes, yes, and you can stroke your thighs as well. It’s a Thursday afternoon, by the way. Half past three, I think? But you already know when that was recorded. I hope you’ll listen to it tonight. Don’t make me wait. You are the one who should be waiting like a good girl, spread on your bed just for me. And I will be sitting here and guiding you through it. You are so hot, dear. Feel how warm and soft your skin is under your fingers. Don’t stop until I tell you so. Oh, Jan. Can I call you Jan? I think formalities are long forgotten anyway. Jan, Jan, Jan. I like how that sounds. I would like to call you my mistress, but I feel like a good girl title suits you better. For now, at least. Now, say my name. Mhm.. you know I can’t hear it, but I can vividly imagine how it sounds on your lips right now. Louder… I. said. Louder.

“Imagine me sitting right between your legs and ask me nicely. Say ‘please’. I like how polite you are. Yes, yes, what is it? What do you need? Are you still following me? Oh, I can’t do anything with you if you don’t tell me what it is that you want. Do you want me to kiss you? Do you want me to fuck you? I am afraid you have to deal with it on your own. No, I didn’t tell you to touch yourself yet. Are you getting wet? I hope so, or I must be terrible at this, huh. Now, roll to your side. Left or right, I don’t care. But since you are right handed I would suggest rolling to your left. Are you settled? Good. Good girl, so good at following my orders. Grab your ass with your hand. Just like that. Mhm, I can imagine how soft that is. Squeeze it for me, Jan. I want your nails to leave prints…

“Now, I need you to slap it. Yes, you heard me. Just a light slap, oh, yes, feel how it wiggles? That’s what I like. That’s what I would want to see if I was there. Such a pity. Slap again. You deserve it. Harder. Yes, harder. Even harder. I do hope you behave and follow my orders. Yes, bury that pretty face in your pillow. One more time. One more. And one last time for me. Hmm… good. Stroke your skin, I’m sure it hurts. Softly and slowly, yeah. You can turn on your back. 

“Don’t forget to spread your legs again. Are you panting already? I barely did anything. Well, I did nothing, it was all your doing. Open your pussy with two fingers for me. Careful, don’t touch your clit yet. You can move your fingers up and down your lips, yes, nice and slow-“

Tum, tum, tum. 

“What is it?” you turned your attention to the door. 

“Are you finishing there?” Stones asked. 

“No, she’s nowhere near finishing. Now leave me alone,” you snapped and continued speaking into the dictaphone. “Oh dear, sorry. We wouldn’t be interrupted if you just invited me to your house. Now, what are you doing there? I hope you keep following my orders. Move your fingers lower. Mhm, feel how slick you are. Perfect. Make your fingers wet and touch your clit. Don’t rush. Never rush until I tell you to go faster. Circle it for me, right, just touch yourself like you always do. Like you do when you lay in your bed and imagine my head between your thighs. Do you do this every night? Every night since we’ve met? I wouldn’t be surprised if you did. Are you squirming already? Go slowly, my love, and don’t apply much pressure. Lightly, yes, such a good girl. My mouth is tired of speaking already, you know, I usually don’t talk much. But when it comes to you, the only way to shut me up… yeah, you guessed it. Fuck, I’m so wet for you right now. The picture of you in my head drives me insane…

“Stop touching yourself. I hope I don’t have to repeat myself. Don’t be upset, dear. Just push your fingers inside, it’s all I want. Very well. I’m sure it slipped in easily. Patience, patience, and push gently. Deeper. That’s what I would do to you. Do you like it? Is there something else that you need, Jan Stevens? So insatiable. I adore you for it. Keep fucking yourself and listen to me…

“Imagine me fucking you with a strap, thrusting painfully slowly. Deep. Making you grow impatient with every second of it. I would pound into you, gaining speed just to pull out and push inside of you again, and you would moan and beg for me to go harder. Don’t worry, I think of it every night myself. It puts me to sleep, thinking of all the things I could do to you. Or do you want me to fuck you with my tongue? To bring you to orgasm after an orgasm with my mouth. Or is it only my fingers that you need? I would stroke them up and down your needy cunt and taste you on my fingers before pushing them inside, but still. I would go so slow, I would make your legs tremble under me. And you would look so beautiful, just like you always do. I can imagine that pretty mouth of yours open. I bet you sound divine. Are you still listening? If you are, pay special attention right now,” and with that, your tone changed, growing even lower and hotter. 

“Pull your fingers out of yourself. I need you to call me right now and tell me to come see you. Yes, you heard me. If you have listened up to this point, you know what I will do to you. Call me. I am waiting. And I am impatient.”

You ended the recording and breathed out. If Stones wouldn’t deliver this to Jan Stevens, you would kill him with your bare hands. 

﹉﹉﹉﹉﹉﹉﹉﹉﹉

The night of the same day, Jan Stevens was lying on her sheets, absolutely ruined, desperate. A voice recorder on her pillow. Her chest rose up and fell back down in heavy breaths. She cleaned off her fingers and stood up from her bed, whimpering when her tights pressed together. She reached the stationary phone and pressed it to her hot cheek, panting, waiting for you to answer.

[romanarose]

If You Wanna Be Wild: Chapter 3

Co-written with @my-secret-shame-but-fanfiction

Javier Peña x Latina!sex worker!informant!Reader/OC x Santiago Garcia

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Summary: Javier goes to see Candy to 'get information', runs into the last person he was expecting.

Content and warnings for whole fic, not chapter by chapter unless something is added: Sex work, drug trade, some drug use/pressured used, sex workers and the mistreatment/stigma surrounding them specifically in the 70’s (my blog is sex worker positive) but ima put potential dub con depending how you look at it as a sex worker who works with dangerous men, some action surrounding reader and the guys and the drug trade, SMUT HEAVY, corruption kink (were corrupting santi here, he’s young, 25), no loss of virginity tho, threesomes, some slight m/m smut but that’s not the focus here, but as you know this blog is an lgbt blog so I’m always open to gay shit. Talk of war and some PTSD but I won't be going a whole lot into it.

Additional warnings: References to BDSM and rough sex thats consensual, but consenual under the blanket of prostitution so much that I think I'll put it as dub con due to lack on comfort and ability to say no. None it is shown but the aftermath is, and Javi provides aftercare although he was not a participant. Smut today! The usual smut warnings I'm not gonna detail everything lol it's nothing crazy like my usual lol, there's lots of oral, piv sex, teasing, begging. B

For the record, this is a fic that takes place in the drug trade and deals with the darker side of humanity, so anything from Narco's and Triple Frontier is liable to be discussed or mentioned here. This is your warning. This is not a dark fic nor is it centered around dark themes like Leather and Lace or Sunshine Starlight Sweetheart Brightside, but they are open to be talked about.

Reader has a nick name: Candy. Not her real name just what she goes by on her profession. Much of the inspo for this and for the title came from the Bruce Springsteen song “Candy’s room” so check it out for the vibes.

Reader speaks Spanish and had hair. I've decided Candy is just latina coded bc she's a sex worker in colombia so this is what I'm doing.

4.3 words, a good chunk of which was written by my beloved Fen. I've been rather burnt out of smut lately, and I wanted this to be good to establish Candy and Javier's connection and chemistry so my dear @my-secret-shame-but-fanfiction wrote ALL THE SMUT FOR ME. They write wonderful fanfiction so pleeaasseeee check out their work!!

Support writers! Reblog and comment!

*****************

“And just what do you want to know this time, Peña?” You say, leaned up against the wall under a poster of Farrah Faucet.

Javier stepped up to you, broad frame and tall figure encasing you up against the wall of your apartment. He was anything but intimidating, and he wasn’t trying to be; Javier Peña was a good man, even if he didn’t think he was. You couldn’t help but care for him, blurring the lines of what a hooker and a John’s relationship should be, but you couldn’t help it, and Javi knew. Javi was protective of the women he sleeps with, and you were no exception. In addition to getting you out of legal trouble a few times, he had helped you when you had issues with creepy, dangerous men and had even helped a friend or two. 

He was someone you trusted and someone whose time you looked forward to; someone who made you cum, multiple times and hard. But it was more than that. Javier was gentle with you, fucking you hard but never leaving a mark and if he thought you were tired or in pain from previous activities, he’d allow you to take care of him in other ways, even down to a hand job. He loved connection, but he loved your comfort more.

Once, after a grueling bondage session with impact play from another client, you had been left worn, bruised, and in pain when Javi called you for a late night fuck. Sure. You could squeeze him in although you had been looking forward to giving yourself aftercare since clients didn’t pay for that side of things. 

Javi had come over in his usual charm, making out on the couch and grinding against you as per usual, touching you sensually to warm you up, but when he slid off your skirt and tried to touch you only to find you dry he stopped. “What’s wrong?”

You had tried to insist nothing was wrong, tried to promise it was fine; you had lube for a reason. When he lifted up your skirt and saw the bruises forming on your skin, he went into a rage.

“WHO THE HELL DID THIS?”

Eventually, you are able to calm him down and start to explain the concept of BDSM to him and he tells you that no one should be leaving marks like that. He gestures to the bruises and the welts

“He pays for it and I let him, Javi. You don’t have to be a hero to something I consent to.”

He begins to settle, tracing the bruises that showed despite your tan skin and the dim lighting. Yeah, okay, maybe they were kinda bad. He’d gotten carried away with the belt, but you had said he could use a belt. Technically, you could tell him to stop, or to go less hard… but this world didn’t look kindly on whores who had rules. 

“Where all did he hurt you?” Checking your exposed skin over but not undressing you anymore, Javier’s lips were pursed into a hard line and his eyebrows drawn together in focus. It was mainly just your ass that had taken the beating. Javi carried you to your bed, gently laying you down on your stomach and asked if you had any aloe vera. When you said no, he ran down to the bodega down the street. Javier took care of you that night, providing the after care you hadn’t gotten and held you close the remainder of the time he had asked for. That morning despite not giving sex and thus not expecting payment, you found the money he had promised on your kitchen counter.

“Can’t I just take time out of my day to visit my favorite girl?” He asked, leaning over you with his forearm pressed against the wall above you.

You scoff playfully. “You tell that to all your girls?”

Javi’s lip quirks up, eye squinting in a small smile that crinkled at the corners, showing the early signs of age on his handsome face. Pushing 40 looked nice on him. “I do, but you’re the only one I mean it with.” He solidified his tease with a wink.

“Really?” You raise your own eyebrow in turn. “This has nothing to do with Lorea?” 

At that, Javi pushes himself off the wall with a laugh, a genuine and hearty laugh that you love to see. “You’re a quick one, arentcha, Candy?” He crosses his arms, hip popped and takes in your whole body. He wasn’t just here for information on Lorea, after all. He’s never just here for information.

“Gotta keep an ear to the ground, never know when it’ll come in handy, like-” You gently shove him with one hand. “Getting me that visa.”

His playful manner faded but his face remained soft. “If it were up to me, I would.”

You knew that, of course. There really was no reason for the DEA to give you a vida; you’d been helpful, but nothing groundbreaking and there was no reason to believe your life was at risk so you were stuck. There were some days, however, that you dreamed… dreamed of moving to America… maybe with Javi… but those were just daydreams to get you through.

“I know, baby. Now, enough talking” Javi opened his mouth to protest, but you pressed a finger up against those lips. “We can go over what I know and what I can find out while you give me that after-sex massage.” You hook your finger on his collar and start pulling him towards the bedroom. 

“Oh, I see” He teases before grabbing your wrist, yanking it and twirling you towards him in order to wrap you up in his arms. “You think you’re in charge, all of a sudden?”

You smile sweetly at him, purposefully batting your eyelashes. There’s a familiar edge to his tone that you recognise immediately. One that just activates every bratty bone in your body.

“When am I not in charge, Javi?” You purr. 

He stares at you for a second, his muscles tense as he holds you, that split second of quiet before all hell breaks loose. 

And then he pounces. 

With a snarl his lips meet yours, all tongue and teeth as his right hand snakes up to grab your jaw and tilt your head up to meet him. The pressure is firm, controlling, but careful. Safe. 

He swallows down your chuckle and pushes you back against the wall firmly, moving his left arm to cradle your head from any real force. His facial hair scratches at your skin as he trails sloppy kisses and light bites over your cheek, down to your neck where he’s light enough not to leave a bruise but hard enough to leave you wanting. 

You wrap your arms around his shoulders, tugging at his shirt as he slides his hand to your shorts and pops the top button. 

His fingers are warm against your skin and he wastes little time, barely undoing the zip, before he’s pushing his hand under the waistband. 

Javi groans, the sound low and deep in his chest as he realises you’re not wearing any underwear. He slips his forefinger over your clit, circling it lightly. His mouth hovers near yours, sharing your air, his hot breath against your cheek as he watches your face. 

The second you bite your lip, trying to muffle that first little whine of pleasure, he sinks two fingers into your heat and presses his thumb against your bundle of nerves. 

It’s a little awkward at this angle with the tight denim of your shorts still on your hips. He can’t quite sink as deep as you’d like, as you need. But you know he’s doing this on purpose. Working you up without giving you true relief. Wanting to make you beg. 

You squirm against him, trying to wriggle and get the angle just right.

“What’s wrong, mi amor?” He whispers teasingly. “Something wrong?” 

“Javi…” Your voice comes out in a whine and he chuckles. 

“Can’t the princesa ask for what she wants?” He lightly scraps the edge of his short nail against your clit, dragging downwards before falling back into the previous rubbing rhythm. 

You bite back a moan, screwing up your eyes as he presses lightly at that perfect spot inside before quickly moving his fingers away. “Please.” 

“Please what?” 

You glare at him. 

“Please what?” He strokes against you again and you gasp, your words falling out in a jumble. 

“Please sir.” You spit, shooting him a dark look that you know he’ll love. 

He chuckles, pressing the heavy bulge in his jeans against your thigh. “Oh, someone’s in a bratty mood today, aren’t they?” He kisses your mouth, not giving you a chance to retort back. And nips at your bottom lip as you slide your hands into his hair. 

He circles your clit faster, grinding against your leg as you scrape your nails across his scalp. “Fuck,” he breaks the kiss and presses his forehead against yours. His eyes screw shut as he drags his thick cock against your skin. How the jean’s button hasn’t pinged open from the strain of the size of him, you’ll never know. The burn of the denim against your thigh is oddly pleasant, the shallow thrust of his hips just punctuating the slick glide of his fingers in and out of you. 

The air catches in your throat as you try to hold in your moan and Javi’s eyes snap open. The look he gives you is dark and hungry. 

He tuts. “Oh, no, we can’t have that, can we?” He hooks his left thumb through a belt loop and tugs your shorts down over your ass before letting them drop the rest of the way to the floor. 

Now, without the material’s restriction, he sinks his fingers deeper into you. Curling them perfectly against your walls, your slick coating his skin. Liquid pleasure flows along your nerves and steals your breath. 

You grab hold of Javi’s shoulders, your fingernails digging in as your back arches. “Ah- oh god!”

He shakes his head, a condescending frown on his face. “Shouldn’t take the Lord’s name in vain. I thought you were a good little Catholic?” 

“Javi, please-”

“Not good enough.” He grows in your ear before suddenly pulling his fingers out of you and dropping to his knees. 

You gasp, but don’t have longer than a second to lament the loss before his mouth is on you. He sucks your clit into his mouth, pinching the bud lightly between his teeth as he flicks over it with his tongue. At the same time he grabs a hold of your thighs, spreading you wide and hooking your right leg over his shoulder. 

He groans deeply, savoring your taste as he sinks his fingers back into your aching folds. 

You moan loudly, grabbing onto Javi’s hair for support as he fucks you with his fingers and tongue, pushing up and against you so hard that you have to balance on the tip of your left toes and trust in his strong arms to support you. 

The words that fall from your lips are boarding on incoherent, whimpered out sounds of ‘more’ and ‘please’ that barely sting together. Javi knew your body far too well by now and used every single trick he had in fucking you dumb as quickly as he could. 

You fight your body’s urge to clamp your legs around his face, even though his forearm pressed firmly against your thigh would stop you from getting too far anyway. 

Your orgasm builds dizzyingly fast, just scratching on the edge of your mind. Your hips buck against his mouth wildly, no longer under your own control and instead just following Javi’s tantalizing rhythm. 

“Javi, fuck-” This is what you love about having sex with Javi; it felt normal, it was fun, it was good, and you gt paid for it. Win/win.

He growls low in his throat approvingly as you tug on his hair, trying to warn him of how close you are. He thrusts his fingers deeper, pushes his face against you completely as if he had no need for oxygen as he grinds against you.

Heat sparks up from your core and you come against him with a sharp cry, tears in your eyes from the force of it. The ecstasy overwhelms you, so sharp it is almost painful as he pulls your orgasm out from your soaking folds, demanding your pleasure.

He only moves his mouth away from you and stills his hand when he feels you slump a little against him, your limbs turning boneless. 

You breathe heavily, almost light headed as you come back to yourself. 

When you look down, you see Javi looking up at you with a shit eating grin that makes you want to slap him playfully.

“I think that was the fastest one yet, hermosa?” 

You scowl at him, but can’t keep the smile from your lips. “Maybe.” You say finally. 

Javi chuckles, pressing kisses to your thigh and slowly pulls his fingers out of you with a wet drawn out pop.

“Hmm, look at what a mess you made?” He raises his eyebrow teasingly as he holds up his fingers for you to see. Your creamy slick covers his fingers, catching the light as he moves his hand before he licks them clean. Purposefully making a show of it. 

He waits until you begin to speak before he swipes his tongue through your folds. 

“Javi,” you begin to chastise. 

“Just cleaning up your mess.” He mutters, dipping his tongue back inside. He hums approvingly, dragging his tongue along your slit and swirling around your clit before diving back in. 

“Javi-”

“Didn’t realize how messy you are.” He moans against your core. “Gonna take longer than I thought it would.” 

You whine as he curls his tongue inside, pressing against your clit with the bridge of his nose. That familiar heat begins to build between your legs. You worry your lip between your teeth, letting the sensation tighten in your belly until it becomes too much. 

You tug on his hair, pulling him away from you. The bottom half of his face shining. 

“Tesoro, ” you breath, “if you don’t fuck me now, I’m gonna-”

“Oh, you’re gonna what?” He raises his eyebrows at you. 

You pause, then pout. “Cry.” 

He chuckles and sighs, getting up. “You sure have me bent around your little finger, bebita.” 

“What?” You blink at him in mock surprise, “I don’t know what you mean, you’re the one incharge here.” 

“Sure.” He murmurs, lightly taking hold of your chin again to kiss you deeply. He intentionally wipes some of your wetness from his cheek onto yours as he moves back, a cheeky smirk on his face. 

You tut, but he quickly kisses you again, wrapping his arms around you and pulling off your top and bra, quickly followed by his own clothes. 

His cock is burning and hard as he rubs it firmly against your skin, only breaking contact to grab hold of your ass and lift you up. He presses you against the wall and raises your legs to his hips, which you quickly wrap around him with a yelp and a giggle into his neck. 

“Gonna fuck me against the wall, sir?”

“Mmm hmm.” 

You grin. “Can’t wait the ten seconds it will take to get to the bed?” 

He shakes his head. “Nope. Plus I want Farrah to see.” He nods to the Farrah Faucet poster above you. 

You snort and shake your head at him. “You’re such a goof.” 

He kisses your cheek, rubbing firm circles into your thighs with his fingers as he holds you up. He slowly rubs the head of his cock against you, rocking his hips to make swallow circles. 

“You fucking love it.” He mutters against your lips as he thrusts into you. 

You moan as he fills you, the stretch of him igniting your deep burn of arousal into a full on blaze. 

“That’s it, that’s better isn’t it? Better for you to be full of my cock, sweet thing.” He mutters as he sheethes himself fully inside, the head of him rubbing perfectly deep. 

You barely manage a nod before he starts moving, fucking you hard against the wall. His hand once again around the back of your head to stop it from smacking against the plaster.

You hang on for dear life, your fingernails digging into his skin unintentionally as he hits that sweet spot again and again and again, knowing he would take care of you, relentless in his pursuit of your pleasure. 

You kiss him hard between your moans and gasp for breath, biting sharply at his bottom lip and whining when he nips you back. 

He shifts his weight slightly, pushing forward with his left  leg and your back arches as he presses deeper, your legs shaking. The sound of skin slapping against skin echoes around your apartment. Javi mutters in half broken sentences under his breath, jumbles of words that would probably still be incoherent if you weren’t distracted by the way rams into you. How he hits every sweet soft so perfectly. 

Pleasure builds in your stomach, your toes curl as he keeps up his relentless pace. Not giving you a moment of reprieve as your hurtle towards your second orgasm.  

You squeeze his biceps, trying to stave off your pleasure for a moment longer, but it’s seemingly impossible with the way he moves in you. 

“Gonna make me cum, baby.” You whine in his ear and Javi’s thrusts stutter for the smallest moment, a quiet groan escaping his lips before he recovers himself and focuses all his energy on stuffing himself into you at the exact same pace. 

“That’s it baby,” he grunts, sweat beading on his brow, “squeeze my cock, cum for me-oh shit!”

You cum hard against him, gasping as your walls clamp down around his thick length and digging your nails into his skin. For a second it’s like you're floating. 

He thrusts twice more before he buries himself to the hilt and cums deep, pressing his face into your neck and he groans and shakes with the force of it. 

You hold him for a second as he breathes hard, still pinning you to the wall. Once he regained his own composer, Javi took note of your shaking legs and knew as soon as his body weight was taken off you, you were going to sink to the floor. Always a caretaker, Javi gripped your thighs and hoisted you up; instinctively your legs wrapped around him as he carried you to your bed.

“Rub my back?”

“Happily.”

Moments like this seemed so domestic with him, seemed like you were just a normal couple spending a sweaty summer day in bed. Never mind the fact he had 10 minutes before he needed to get the hell out of here before your next client showed up, lest they ran the risk of running into each other. Always a little awkward, and you always tried to schedule a little time in between clients to prevent such meetings. Nothing but class in Candy’s room.

*

“What do you wanna know about Gabriel?” Candy asks him, the sun from her open window illuminating golden off the skin of her back. She lazily smoked a cigarette that Javi gave her; it was practically an agreed upon part of payment at this point.

“Do we really have to just jump into it? Feels so transactional.”

She laughed at that. “Well it is a transaction, Peña. I’m not just calling you up on a random Tuesday to talk drug lords.”

“Yeah, okay. What do you know? Apparently enough if you’re on a first name basis.”

She shrugged. “That’s pretty standard. I’m not going to call him Señor Lorea while he’s balls d-”

“I get the picture.”

Candy gave him some information that was useful to start with; where he socializes with other deals and producers (and hookers), how many children he has, and where they go to school (after making him promise the children wouldn’t be involved), and a few other details. Candy said she could find out more with some time, but Javi had to work to get her out of Colombia. 

“C’mon, you gotta get going before my next client.”

Javier groaned loudly, not wanting to move away from her. “I’ll pay for any time he’s paying for.”

“That’s not how it works, I can’t just call him up and cancel, this isn’t a dinner date.”

“You’re telling me you don’t have his number?” Javi teased, trailing his finger down her spin, noting the way it was more visible than the last time he noticed. He wondered if she was eating okay, or if this was a by-produce of coke parties.

“Most clients want to stay anonymous, they don’t want me calling them in the middle of the day to play boyfriend-girlfriend.”

Javi gently flicked her shoulder, making her giggle. “It’s for your safety, Candy”

“Oh yeah, I won’t know how to get a hold of you otherwise, I can’t just walk into the DEA office, heaven forbid.”

“Well, you could-”

“Can’t let the whole office know you solicit hookers.”

“I think that ship sailed.”

“Your sweet little catholic boy of a partner would have a heart attack.”

Javi chuckled at that. For his own privacy and everyone’s safety, Javi never told Candy the names of his partners; except for Steve, but Steve had met her several times. He did, however, give them all nick names if they stayed around long enough, and Santi’s was obvious. “Pope turns into a blushing virgin every time we have to go to a- a, uuhhhhh” He hesitated on what to call it without offending Candy.

“A whore house?”

“You said it, not me”

Candy turned over and smiled, shoving at him. “Go, I gotta wipe your cum out of me. This boy is a bit of a blushing virgin himself so I gotta be thorough.”

With an over dramatic groan, Javi rolled over and put out his cigarette and took Candy’s to put it out for her. Still, he stuck around as she went to the bathroom to clean up. He lit up a fresh one as he took a look around the apartment. It was clean, dressed up in an effort to hide how cheap the place actually was; posters covering cracks from age and holes made by angry clients, a carpet covering the scratches from when one shoved her into her side table, curtains perpetually covering a side window to hide the bullet hole and duct tape from when a John’s wife caught them. He wanted better for her, he did. He wanted better for all the women he was involved with, for his community, that’s why he did what he did. But Candy was special. He’d been trying to get her a visa for years, but she hadn’t given anything big enough and her life hadn’t been put in danger on behalf of the government for her to be granted one. 

Least he could do was fix her window next time. Let a little sun in.

He looked over the posters. “You got an Aubrey Hephburn poster yet?”

“No, surprisingly.”

“Good, I got you one I saw at a store. Didn’t wanna bring it in case you had one already.”

Candy poked her head out of the bathroom, watching Javi pull on his socks and shoes as he sat on the bed, jeans still unbuttoned. “Javi! You didn’t!”

“I did, hermosa, I’ll bring it next time.”

Grinning, she turned back to fix up her hair in the mirror. “You’re the best, I’m going to give you the best blowjob of your life. Can you hand me some lingerie, baby?”

“Making me pick out what you’re wearing for your next boyfriend, awfully messy.” He teased, but found a red and black bra and panty set.

She dressed as Javier finished smoking his second cigarette.

“Alright! Out!” Candy walked out of the bathroom in a silky, fluffy robe. Javier couldn’t help but smirk at the juxtaposition between how she looked for this new man and him. For him, Candy was perfectly happy to be dressed down with him comfortable, herself. She didn’t have to dress up for him.

As she ushered him out the door, Candy planted a kiss on his cheek before opening it, only to find Santiago on the other side of the door, leaned up against the wall.

“Diego!” Candy said, sounding surprised. “You’re early.”

Santiago, however, was staring wide-eyed at Javier with a strike of fear in him. 

“Garcia, what the hell are you doing here?” Javi couldn’t help the jealousy that crept up in him, instinctively trying to wrap an arm around her that Candy shrugged off. What was he doing with her? He needed to be careful, a DEA agent in bed with a prostitute that was frequented by powerful and dangerous men, he was setting her up for harm. Santiago couldn’t protect her like him.

“I… I was going to wait until it-it’s time… I didn’t want… to be… rudeImsorryIllgo” Santi averted his eyes and headed back towards the stairs. He stopped only long enough to stuff his hand into his pocket, pulling out the money he was going to pay her and sitting it on a wide guard rail before descending down the several flights of stairs.

Candy turned to Javi. “What the hell was that?”

Grabbing the money and placing it in Candy’s hands. “My partner.” Javi quickly ran down the stairs, following after the flustered kid. “GARCIA!”

*****************************

CATS OUT OF THE BAAAAGGGGGG

Poor little flustered santi ;-; I love him.

And my precious, protective baby boy.

Also, THERES A PLAYLIST NOW! Please comment songs you think fic the vibe. 70's music but 80's and 60's is okay too, even outside of those decades as long as they fit the vibe or the content (I.e. I have some Lana Del Rey because I think it sounds right, or I have sugar sugar by the archies bc the line "you are my candy girl" etc.)

Gonna take a moment to plus my latest series on my dark blog, Blessed be the Fruit, a Handmaid's Tale AU with Joel (and some Tommy) it is a dark fic so dub con due to the nature of the AU, but not the gaphic horrors of TWW.

Again, thank you thank you thank you for my beleoved Fen for writing the smut!

Comment to be added the tag list!

@runa-falls @lunar-ghoulie @campingwiththecharmings @whatthefishh @itspdameronthings @persephone-girl @criticalarchitecture @not-a-unique-snowflake-blog @beelzebeth87 @pimosworld @millerscoffee @heareball @thatwonderouswoman @poolbool @meveispunk @lovable-liar @millllenniawrites @read-and-wip @missdictatorme @the-fox-den @milkymoon2483 @k-ra @ramblers-lets-get-ramblin @rosellacwrites @legendary-pink-dot @dreamingofbucky @axshadows @englandsgray @starsthatwatch @laiisleitte @fairlyang @alwaysmicado @theywhowriteandknowthings @casa-boiardi @lostfleurs @ninebluehearts @puglover12 @sub-aro @laiisleitte @itspdameronthings @heareball @comfortlessjoy @csarab615 @calaveramangonda @bit-dodgy-innit @stevngrant

[kaylinalexanderbooks]

OC incorrect quotes

Thanks @mysticstarlightduck here!

Rules: this incorrect quotes generator to generate some incorrect quotes for your OCs!

Akash: How would you like your pancakes?

Jedi: Plain.

Maddie: With sprinkles!

Rose: Chocolate chips.

Ash: Potatoes.

*Jedi, Maddie, and Rose look at Ash*

Ash: What? They're good.

The Squad: *walking at the mall*

Rose: Hey, have any of you guys seen Ash? They’ve been gone for a while..

Noelle: Eh, nope.

Jedi: No, I haven’t...

Akash: Probably ran off to McDonald’s or something.

Ash: Hey.

Rose: Ooh, there you are-

Noelle: What the fu-

Akash: I- where were you?!

Ash: Walking right behind you guys.

Lexi: You use emoji’s like a straight person.

Rose: That’s literally the worst thing anyone has ever said about me.

Maddie: I taught the dog a new trick. *throws ball* Fetch!

Dog: *just stands there*

Akash: He didn’t do it.

Maddie: I taught him to ignore social conventions and think for himself.

*The Squad is at Jedi’s house*

Carmen: Ohhhh we each get our own oven?

Jedi: …N-No…

Jedi, laughing: How many ovens do you think I have???

Carmen, motioning to the kitchen: Three, I thought!

Rose: I see a-

Jedi, motioning to one device: This is a microwave.

Carmen: Oh, well I-

Jedi: Hey, wait wait, actually- hang on- *fiddles with the buttons on the microwave*

Jedi, amazed: Its got a bake setting!

Robbie: Ohoho, you learn something new every day!

Lexi: Do we- Do we roshambo for who gets to pick first?

Jedi: Now I’ve discovered more ovens than I thought, we don’t have to roshambo nothin’!

Jedi: I am someone who owns four ovens…

Jedi, louder and way too happy: I am someone… who owns FOUR OVENS…

Ash, pointing to another appliance: Also, the toaster oven!

Jedi:

Carmen: Ohhh, toasty boy! Four- Five ovens!

Jedi:

Jedi, ecstatic: I AM SOMEONE WHO OWNS FIVE OVENS.

Maddie: I got us matching friendship bracelets, and you say I don't care about our relationship.

Lexi: These are handcuffs.

Maddie: Yeah, 'cause we're partners in crime!

Carmen: Why are you doing this?

Akash: Same reason I do everything, Carmen. To get somebody to like me.

Akash: What's two plus two?

Robbie: Math.

Akash: ...I will accept that answer.

Akash, trying their first ever cup of coffee: I am ENERGY!

Ash, an avid coffee drinker, on their twelfth cup of the day: Someone slap me awake or I am literally going to fall into a coma in ten seconds.

*Kelsey falls over*

Carmen: Kelsey! Are you alright?

Kelsey: Is that you, God?

Carmen: What?

Kelsey: It's just, you sound a lot more like Carmen than I expected.

Rose: You think you're smarter than everyone else.

Noelle: I don't think I'm smarter than everyone else. I know I am.

Carmen: WHOEVER CAUSED THIS MESS IS GOING TO-

Akash: It was me...

Carmen: ...Is going to be forgiven because everyone deserves a second chance.

Lexi: Ash! Gwen got that thing on the control panel working!

Ash: Wow! That looks pretty impressive.

Lexi: Yeah!

Ash: Any idea what it does?

Lexi: Not a clue.

Kelsey: Physically, yes, I could fight a bird, but emotionally? Imagine the toll!

Noelle: What am I supposed to do?

Rose: If I were you? I’d try and make peace with whatever deity, pantheon, or Divine Other you believe in.

Noelle: I’m an atheist.

Rose: Then just get ready to die I guess.

Gwen: So my burn from yesterday was actually hurting really bad so I put a bandaid on it.

Gwen: Does it make any sense to put a bandaid on a wound that wasn’t even open? No, but I would rather feel good than make sense.

I love these things

Tagging @dyrewrites @willtheweaver @cherrybombfangirlwrites @pinkevilwriter @somethingclevermahogony

+ ANYONE ELSE

TSP intro

TSP tag list (ask to be +/-): @thepeculiarbird @illarian-rambling @televisionjester @finchwrites

@nebula--nix @literarynecromancy @honeybewrites @the-golden-comet

[mintys-musings]

Unintended Side Effects (Mayoi Ayase x GN!Reader)

mayoi definitely wouldn’t make this mistake imo but pretend for the v loose “plot” that he fucked up or that he did this to himself on purpose. loosely inspired by that one homescreen line about putting vitamins or whatever in everyones drinks

summary: Mayoi had purchased some new supplement to relieve some fatigue he was feeling. tags: aphrodisiacs(?), mild mindbreak, bottom!mayoi, reader’s genitals aren’t elaborated on so assume they either have a strap or a cock idk, top!reader, overstimulation, general rough sex word count: 914

NSFW under cut~

“I’m sorry! I didn’t mean for this to happen. I’m so disgusting. Perverse—“

Moans and apologies tumbled out of Mayoi’s mouth like a running faucet. His ramblings were only cut off by gasps as you push yourself deeper into his tight hole.

“Oh~ My love, please~” He whined, pushing his hips back against yours. “You feel so nice inside. You’re much to good for m— Mmgh!”

You press your chest flush against his back and grip his leaking cock to get him to shut up. You weren’t sure how he managed this. It seemed like the oddest situations always befell your beloved phantom, but today really took the cake.

Mayoi was feeling rather sluggish today and had decided to try out a new jelly drink meant to energize you. It definitely worked to energize Mayoi, but when his body grew hot and all of his thoughts start to spiral into depravity, there was some room to believe that the drink did way more than just “energize” a person.

It was in Mayoi’s nature to run and deal with problems himself, but in his desperation, he had called you. Panting and stammering, he begged you— in no uncertain terms— to take him.

So here you were.

You nipped at his shoulders as you time your thrusts to each stroke of Mayoi’s dick.

“There you go.” You huff, watching Mayoi’s back dip downwards into a beautiful arch. “No need to apologise.”

Mayoi’s eyes watered at how sensitive he was. The force of your hips driving their way in and out of him was far too much. And you two had barely started! His cock twitched in your grasp, as hard as can be.

You knew that the effects of what he drank might last a while, so you took your sweet time thrusting. What he perceived as an overwhelming force was just you moving at a moderate pace.

Peppering his shoulders and the nape of his neck with kisses, you giggled breathlessly as you watched Mayoi drool out onto the sheets. You cooed and picked up the pace a little just to see his face contort further.

“Guh... My love, you’re making me feel s-so— s-so—“

He couldn’t think of a word to describe his current feelings. He just kept babbling incoherently while his hole gripped at you like he didn’t want you to leave his insides. You kept changing the force you were rutting into him with. You wanted to see what pleasured him most in this state. He was your little guinea pig to test on now. And he couldn’t be happier.

Your hand left his cock in favour of grabbing his hips to steady his trembling body. It hadn’t even been a few minutes since you two started and he was already feeling close to climax.

“A-ah~ I don’t think I’ll last,” he said, words starting to slur together. “I-I’m sorry. I’m sorry~! I can’t help it~!” His voice jumped all over the place in tune to your movements.

SMACK!

“Eek!”

Mayoi’s shrill squeal rang out as you smacked his ass. He was just presenting so nicely and his voice was so enticing. You just had to. The actions alone were enough to make some cum spurt out of his cock, but he wasn’t softening at all.

“... Did you come already...?” You asked, a wicked smile coming to your face as you realized just how sensitive Mayoi was in this moment.

Mayoi didn’t answer. He was ashamed at how quickly he was driven to the edge. And yet he still wanted more. You had stopped moving in order to give him some room to answer, but instead he started stroking his own cock.

His whimpers reached your ears as you watched the pathetic display. Mayoi was so desperate for pleasure that he couldn’t hold back for a second. He couldn’t go one damn second without the need to come overwhelming his thoughts. It was all he could think about.

You pulled out and shove the man onto his back, smacking his hand away from his dick. You made up for it immediately by jacking him off at a quick pace.

His hands weren’t sure where to go as he was thrown into another pool of pleasure. He scrambled to hold onto anything— eventually settling on the sheets. Mayoi’s mind was melting to the point where he wasn’t sure if he should shove you away since it was too much pleasure or beg your for more since he didn’t want to go without it.

He was breathless, gasping and whining as your hand squeezed and stroked at his length with vigor. Now that you knew that he was hypersensitive and wasn’t going limp any time soon, you couldn’t help but want to push your phantom to his limits.

In no time at all, Mayoi came once more with a loud wail. His eyes watered as he stared up at you in awe.

You took advantage of the way his mouth was left agape and shoved two cum coated fingers in his throat. The tears in Mayoi’s eyes fell as he gagged lightly in surprise. But he did instinctively lap at his own mess like the good boy he was.

Once your fingers were clean again, you unceremoniously pulled them out of his mouth to grip his jaw. You gave him a forceful kiss, moving closer to press yourself against his gaping hole once more.

“Oh Mayoi... I’m going to ruin you.”

[liyawritesss]

If it's not too much to ask sthandwa, do you think you could write a one shot with Nakia or Shuriri x reader of them going ice skating? I just thought it would be fitting since Christmas is almost here and I’d love to see how you would write that story ❤️.

ɪᴄᴇꜱᴋᴀᴛɪɴɢ ᴡɪᴛʜ ᴛʜᴇ ʙᴘ:ᴡꜰ ɢɪʀʟꜱ

Characters: MCU!Shuri Udaku, Riri Williams, Nakia, Okoye

Type: Headcanons

Synopsis: In which you go on an iceskating adventure with your favorite BP2 girl!

Warnings: some cursing but overall nothin but fluff!!

A/N: now I normally don't do polyships and things of that nature because I myself don't have the experience of being in a poly relationship, and so to prevent from offending or causing unintentional harm I stray away from writing as such. So I hope that writing them as individual scenarios is alright.

Shuri Udaku

Shuri can’t skate to save her life, so this is an interesting experience for the both of you. Sure, Shuri is good at everything, and if its something she’s never encountered before, best believe she can be the best at it within the next hour. But ice skating was a challenge she never thought she’d have to come in contact with.

The moment she steps onto the ice in her skates shes already flailing like a startled bird. She’s desperately holding on to you, muttering how she’d much rather be at her lab right now, or how she could definitely redesign the skates to be much more efficient and stable. It’s miraculous how she was so panicked earlier, but now being able to hold onto you, she gradually grows calmer

Now if both of you don’t know how to skate….good luck with that one. Cuz all I can tell you is wear extra padding cuz there’s gonna be a lot of falling on your asses. But at least it’ll be fun for the both of you. And afterwards, Shuri will get you both hot chocolate, and you can just watch everyone else skate while you share a blanket under the falling snow.

Riri Williams

I’m not even about to lie to yall, if you don’t know how to skate, Riri is taking advantage of this heavily. She’ll disguise it as a simple cute date but one its revealed that it’s to the skating rink, you can’t help but notice the mischievous look in her eyes.

She gets you on the ice and all you can do is hold on to her and she relishes in that feeling. Riri is still gonna try to teach you the basics, but you're too caught up in the possibility of falling that all you can do is hold on to her. And maybe that was the grand scheme all along. The world may never know.

But if you do know how to skate, this is just a big ass game of tag around the skating rink. No matter how many times the supervisors tell you to watch your speed and be more aware of the other people around you, you two big ass children keep chasing each other around the rink. Its when you accidentally collide and knock a child onto the ground that yall are put out of the rink for the day. But hey, at least it was fun!

Okoye

Okoye is a pro at this. You would think that she’d dread the idea of going to the skating rink. She’s not exactly a people person, and with her mindset almost always on Dora Milaje mode, its already hard enough to get her outside for fun in general. But she surprises you with just how easily she slips onto the skating rink.

Of course, she compares it to the fighting style of the Dora, how its a matter of being graceful and going with the flow. You lowkey envy her seamless transition, but you can’t stay mad at her for long when she offers you a hand.

Okoye guides you through the skating rink while you hold on to her, and actually gives you tips on how to not be afraid of the ice. Ironically, watching you struggle so cutely and the pout your lips wear makes her smile. Perhaps you'd learn better in a more private setting, she thinks, as she starts to conjure up an idea on how to conjure up a private ice skating area on palace grounds. She’s sure she can convince Shuri to do it, and make the princess think it was her idea to do it as well.

Nakia

Nakia poses the idea to you while you’re walking in the marketplace. She sees a flyer for the skating rink and practically starts begging you to go, and how could you say no to her? Especially with her puppy dog eyes and her very persuasive words.

Both of you get onto the ice, and you’re immediately holding onto each other as if neither of you know how to skate. Nakia knows, for sure, but just wants to hold onto you because…why not? She also is the most encouraging, telling you that you’re doing amazing for your first time on the ice and also places kisses on your cheek for a job well done.

There’s nothing but shrieks of laughter and jokes spilling from Nakia’s lips as she tries her best to focus on staying steady on the ice with you. Yall are probably just gliding around the rink in your own little world, people staring at you and questioning why you’re on the ice if you’re not skating for real, but you two are too focused on each other to care.

If you enjoyed, please leave a like, comment, and reblog for others to see! And don’t be shy to send in a request!

[thatgirl4815]

hi not to keep annoying you but i was in the ray tag (again lol) and i saw your post from before episode 6 aired about how damaged ray was gonna be after mew punching him... and so i rewatched pt 2 of episode 7 and mew tells ray he broke up with top, then says hes sorry for punching him but wanted to confront top on his own, and ray doesn't say a single thing the whole time. like he does not say he forgives mew or anything he just sits there.

i thought it was so interesting how little ray actually says that scene. like he sees his friends for the first time since his pain exploded at yo's then got into a car accident and they don't really talk about why ray did it or the impact it had on ray, they talk about everyone else. this compared to the scene before where ray and sand "talk about life's problems to heal their bodies and souls".

anyway now im wondering if we'll ever know the impact mew punching ray had on him, like is it sometime ray immediately forgave mew for, or is it something that he's not addressing but may bubble to the surface soon. or will ray not really sharing his feelings with them in general become a big issue (infamous episode 12 scene im terrified of you)

anyway i like that your meta posts are still interesting weeks later!

Hiiii! :) That’s a great observation. It also reminds me of how Ray reacts to his friends calling him a burden in Ep1; he’s visibly angry and then he just stalks away, leaving them to wonder what’s made him so upset (the lack of awareness from the members of this friend group is honestly insane). Ray’s friends have every opportunity to ask Ray if he is okay or question the source of his behavior, but they never do. Because they’re ignorant or because it makes them uncomfortable? I’d say it’s a mixture of both.

Ray seems to prefer burying all of his pain. It’s why he’s turned to alcohol as an outlet; rather than face the source of his suffering, he’d rather tuck it all away and distract himself. The only time we really see him open up about anything is in the bathtub flashback scene and a few scenes with Sand.

I think Ray is hurt about Mew lashing out, but I think he prefers to push that pain down too rather than risk losing Mew. Ray puts Mew on a pedestal, and he’s understandably terrified of scaring Mew off when Mew is the person he cherishes most. When it comes to Sand, Ray is more likely to lash out and say how he truly feels, which ironically seems like a healthier form of communication (despite it seeming to indicate that Ray isn’t as concerned about Sand’s feelings). I just wonder how long it will take Ray to acknowledge how much he values his ease of communication with Sand.

I would love to see Ray blow up at Mew or any of his friends about the way they treat him, though I’m not sure it’ll actually happen. I think all of their “burden” comments eat away at Ray, but I think he’s used to it by now. I would like to see the friend group come to the realization that Ray really does need help and they’ve been ignoring it this whole time. No one is entirely blameless here, and Ray’s blowup in Ep6 was a very clear sign that he needs help and is even a danger to himself…but of course these issues were swept under the rug yet again by everyone except for Sand.

[darkficsyouneveraskedfor]

End Game 10

No tag lists. Do not send asks or DMs about updates. Review my pinned post for guidelines, masterlist, etc.

Warnings: this fic will include dark content such as noncon/dubcon, age gap, stalking, and possible untagged elements. My warnings are not exhaustive, enter at your own risk.

This is a dark!fic and explicit. 18+ only. Your media consumption is your own responsibility. Warnings have been given. DO NOT PROCEED if these matters upset you.

Summary: Your gaming buddy asks to meet up but it doesn’t go exactly as planned.

Characters: Andy Barber

Note: the best way to spend you Tuesdays is pissed at an old man.

As per usual, I humbly request your thoughts! Reblogs are always appreciated and welcomed, not only do I see them easier but it lets other people see my work. I will do my best to answer all I can. I’m trying to get better at keeping up so thanks everyone for staying with me.

Your feedback will help in this and future works (and WiPs, I haven’t forgotten those!) Please do not just put ‘more’. I will block you.

I love you all immensely. Take care. 💖

You sleep for a few minutes here and there. The rushing traffic, the motion of the car, and the general unease of your circumstance wakes you several times over until you give up. You recognise the highway signs and sit up, rubbing your temples as you try to focus your vision. 

You gulp as you contemplate what’s ahead. You peek over at the man next to you. How do you explain this? 

You mull it over as you peer through the windshield and daze out at the license plate ahead of you. Kara isn’t easy to lie to and you’re a horrible liar. You don’t lie, you just don’t always tell her everything. You sigh and Andy shifts in his seat. 

“You alright, sweetie?” He asks, “we’re almost there. Can stretch our legs soon.” 

“She can’t know,” you say abruptly. 

He winces and shakes his head, “what do you mean?” 

“Kara. She can’t know... you’re a lawyer. My grandmother knows you. Or you’re an old friend of my parents. You’re doing me favour but in front of her we’re not... not...” you struggle to push the truth through your tight throat, “together.” 

“Right, makes sense.” 

“You’re getting her off the hook. That’s all she needs to know.” 

“Got it,” he replies crisply. 

You close your eyes and cringe. You shake your head. This is humiliating. You’re negotiating with him for your own pride. You can’t imagine telling Kara everything. You know that creep I told you about, he owns me now. Ugh. The thought makes you want to hurl. 

“I understand, sweetie, you gotta ease into this. I think it’s better we keep it on the down low anyway,” he speaks over the steering wheel. ‘Down low’, is he trying to be hip? “Wouldn’t be very ethical for me to represent your friend based on our relationship so...” 

“Yeah,” you mutter. Ethical.

It’s more than that. It’s that you would have to say it all out loud. That you would have to admit that you are nothing. That even though you want desperately to say no, to tell him to go away, that you did over and over, that you have no ground to stand on. The only person that wants you in this world is him and that’s just pathetic. 

“How about once we have everything sorted, you spend the day with her? Catch up with your friend? I’ll be at the hotel, give you some space to get your head on,” he offers gently, as if he’s doing a favour. In his eyes, everything he does is generous. “I mean, who knows the next time you’ll get to see her.” 

That last part hits you like a kick in the stomach. Will you see her again after you go off with this man? You still don’t understand what’s in his head. What exactly does he have planned? Are you going to be his plaything? His dirty little secret? He’s an attorney, rather famous by Google’s metric, so can he really be flaunting around with a woman half his age? Less. 

“Yeah, I guess,” you agree flatly and cross your arms. 

Your stomach lets out a long growl, filling the silence. You turn your face to the window, embarrassed. He chuckles and reaches over you pet your arm. 

“Hungry? Me too,” he goads. 

“I’m fine,” you insist and lean away from him. 

He puts his hand back on the wheel and switches lanes as you approach your exit. He sighs and merges onto the ramp. You grit your teeth to keep from screaming. He knows you don’t want this but he continues to pretend like it’s so normal. You don’t know if he’s gaslighting you or if he’s actually delusional. 

“How about you and Kara go get lunch? I’ll venmo you some money and--” 

“Jesus Christ!” You throw your hands up, “I get it! I get it! You’re such a good guy and I’m the poor fucking girl who can’t take care of herself, but goddamnit Andy, let me think. I still have a fucking brain.” 

He sucks in sharply through his nostrils and juts out his chin. The quick glance of his profile startles you. His anger ripples hotly in the air and makes you shiver. Why did you say that? 

“I’ve already told you not to talk like that. Profanity isn’t cute,” he snips as he grips the wheel tighter, his knuckles paling. “I know you have a brain, sweetie. That’s why I like you. You’re smart.” He takes measured breaths as you hear the tenuous control in his timbre, “I’m not trying to control you, I’m trying to help. I think I’m being pretty nice. Hm. I could just drag you back onto the road without stopping, couldn’t I?” 

You look down at your lap and squirm. Something flickers inside of you. A memory itches in your head. Another car ride, another angry man, telling you what he’s done for you, telling you he’s done giving and not getting. Your cheeks pinch with the threat of tears. 

“Sorry, dad,” you choke out. 

“What?” He hisses and nearly swerves. 

“Andy,” you cough and sit up straight, “sorry, I was mumbling. I’m sorry. Alright. I’m stressed and I haven’t slept.” You shake as you make yourself say what he wants to hear. “I know you’ve done a lot for me and I’m not... I’m not good enough. That’s what I’m trying to tell you. Alright? I’m sorry. I just--” You swallow and roll your eyes up, “I’m sorry.” 

He lets the silence hang over you. He slows as he joins the local traffic. You recognise the streets. You’re reminded of the convention and how it all turned sour. All because of him. It feels like a rotten sort of irony that you’re back there together. 

“Sweetie, we’re both exhausted and it’s been such a long road,” he says quietly, “I forgive you but you need to watch your mouth. It’s not pretty when you talk like that.” 

You flinch. What the fuck? You try not to let the frown break through and flare your nostrils. 

“I’ll do better,” you utter. 

“I know you will,” he declares victoriously, “you’re a good girl, sweetie.” 

You don’t say much else. As he pulls up to the station, you mentally prepare yourself. You wish you could tell Kara everything. She was always the best shoulder to lean on but you know that’s too dangerous. She would flip out. You can imagine her confronting Andy and getting herself right back into trouble. No, this is your problem. 

“Might take a while,” Andy warns as he gets out. He opens the back door and takes out his jacket. As he pulls it on, there’s a marked change. The full suit completes that attorney picture. “Did you wanna come in? You’ll have to wait in the lobby.” 

“That’s fine,” you shrug. You’re restless. You just want Kara out and safe. “Are you sure you can fix this?” 

“Trust me, honey. I do this stuff all the time. Bonds and whatnot. I know what I’m doing,” he assures you. Oh, he definitely is all too aware of what he’s doing. 

“Alright.” 

“This shouldn’t be too hard. First offense, young, hanging out with the wrong guy,” he checks his beard in the side mirror, “easy.” 

The way he talks to lightly about the situation makes you sick. Does he think so little of other people and their lives? Is that why he just demolished yours? You nod and look away. 

“Okay, let’s just do it then.” 

You follow him past the police cruisers and to the front door of the precinct. He enters with confidence, holding the door for you. He points you to the chairs along the wall and promises he won’t be long. You sit and watch him, arms crossed as he marches briskly up to the front desk, shielded by panels of plexi-glass. 

“Andy Barber,” he says as he gets his wallet out, “my client is here. She’s asked for her right to an attorney...” 

You shrink in the chair. You are small compared to him. Look at how sure he is. Of everything. Of himself. He has had a lifetime whereas yours is already over. You barely keep from breaking right there. You could just keel over and dissolve into a puddle of self-pity. 

Andy’s led behind the heavy metal door to the left of the desk and you turn your attention to the wall. You drift into a mindless trance. You don’t want to think. The time ticks by as you lean back, your head against the cold brick. 

The ambient noise of the station buzzes around you and fades into the background. The ceiling turns fuzzy in your vision and your body detaches from your mind. You just sit there, waiting. 

Your name carries across the lobby and you snap up, nearly tipping yourself out of the anchored chair. You stand up as Kara runs across the tiles and throws her arms around you. Andy walks calmly behind her, keeping a good breadth between them. 

“Oh my god! You saved me,” she releases you, her eyes tired and swollen. She’s still in her pajamas. You can only think of the chaos that consumed her the last day; of how frightened she must have been. “How?” 

“Uh...” you look at Andy then at Kara. “Family friend. I was so worried, Kara.” 

“You were? I was,” she squeals, “I can’t believe...” she stops herself and spins around, “Mr. Barber, thank you.” She scurries over to him and shakes his hand, “thank you so much.” 

“Well, you know, I owed her grandma a favour,” he smiles. 

“I know but... oh, I’m just happy to be out.” 

“Nothing at all,” he assures and sends you a smug smile. “Unfortunately, I do have to get back to my other clients, so...” he checks his watch. The way he plays his role so smoothly unsettles you. “You two have a good day. You got my number if you need anything else.” 

He struts off and you stand in uncertainty. Shit. You need to come up with a story. Ugh. Your purse buzzes as Kara turns to you and you reach into it. ‘Andy Barber has sent you money.’ Fucker. 

You exhale and do your best to smile, “crazy...” 

“Oh my god, you have no idea. It was so cold in there. They took my shoes!” She looks down at her fluffy slides, “or slippers.” 

“Jesus, Kara, that must’ve been so scary.” 

“Yeah, it was. I didn’t think... I... I can’t believe did all this.” 

“Er,” you glance over at the officers behind the counter, “let’s get out of here.” 

“Happily,” she agrees and skips past you to the door. 

As you come outside, she sighs and stretches her arms above her, “wait, how did you even get here?” 

“Andy drove me... but I have a bus ticket for the way back. Tonight.” 

The lies are too easy. You hate that. You don’t want to lie for him. 

“He’s so nice,” she says, “wow, I... I’m just still so fucked up about this.” 

“What about Calvin?” 

“Oh, he got out last night. His parents. Loaded,” she sniffs, “left me in there all by myself.” 

“Oh, Kar--” 

“Whatever,” she snarls, “I’m about done with him anyways.” You plod along, aimless as you follow her lead. “Wait, alright, wait,” she snaps her fingers, “girl, you never told me what happened with that guy.” 

You’re speechless. You don’t know what to say. Fuck. 

“The catfish? Some old creeper? Ew. Nasty.” 

“Right,” you murmur and clear your throat, “you know, I blocked him. Told him to get fucked.” That’s true, you did, it just didn’t work. “Ugh, the magic of technology, huh?” 

“Sure,” she says, “some men are so nasty. Most of them, I swear.” She huffs and yawns as she checks her phone. It’s all she has on her. “We can catch a bus on the next block. Oof, fuck Calvin, I’m getting me a sugar daddy. I can’t do this shit no more.” 

“Kara,” you groan. 

“What? Men don’t give a fuck. If I’m gonna get anything out of them, may as well be money,” she scoffs. 

“Kara,” you repeat as your stomach churns. You need to explain things, not the real things, but you need to give her a good story. She’s clever and you can’t leave the ends untied. “How about I buy us lunch?” 

“Oh fuck yeah, I’m starving,” she exclaims, “I couldn’t handle that shit they gave me. The egg salad smelled like feet.” 

“Mm, we can order to your place?” 

“Sure,” she smiles, “what time are you out of here?” 

“Bus doesn’t come til eleven,” you dart your eyes around. 

“What’s wrong with you? I mean, I know it’s been a weird ride but you’re not telling me something.” 

You stop by the sign for the bus. You look this way and that. Just say something. 

“I’m moving.” 

“Moving?” She echoes. 

“Yeah, um, my grandma, she’s kinda done with me,” you speak quietly, carefully, weighing every word, “I got a transfer to a different school and uh, they offered me a scholarship...” 

“Wow, you really sound excited,” she remarks dryly. 

“Well, it’s a big change,” you shrug, “I’m still... tryna figure it out.” 

“Of course. That’s huge. Is it far?” 

You nod. 

“Oh,” she hangs her head, “right. Yeah, that’s shitty. But good. Good,” she smiles and lifts her chin, “you need to get out on your own. Away from your grandma. It’ll be great.” 

“Yeah, I’m sure,” you agree softly. “But I’ll miss you.” 

“Miss you too but I mean we’re already in different towns, so what’s a few extra miles,” she says, “when do you leave?” 

You stare across the street and your eyes glaze with tears, “tomorrow.” 

[monstaxtrology]

I’m very anti confrontational online and frankly scared of the cyber bullying I’ve seen from marauders stans but despite persistent blocking and scrolling away I keep seeing hateful nasty anti snape commentary on pro snape tags so I’m a little more annoyed than usual and it’s late and I’m tired and my brain is not braining properly = i evidently lack my usual filter so here goes:

I’ve been thinking about this since hopping onto the astarion fangirling train a couple of weeks ago but if you’re a staunch astarion AND marauders fan (because I’ve barely seen hate for astarion but the snape hate has been so ridiculous recently!!) and you loathe Severus snape you should probably reflect on that pretty privilege bias because astarion is quite literally Severus but just objectively “attractive” and “charming.” A history of being physically and emotionally abused? The isolation from others?? Being beholden to a master?? Putting on a mask in front of others, never revealing their true thoughts or feelings as a way to protect themselves? Having a very grey moral compass?? Genuinely doing some terrible things? But ultimately being capable of being a better person???

Like can we ask ourselves why astarion is such a beloved character by the majority of people who play baldur’s gate but sev is increasingly reviled in the general Harry Potter fandom?

I could rant for ages but then I’d need to make a whole outline to write the twenty page essay it’s going to be and I’d rather spend that time enjoying my favorite snape or astarion fanfics instead 😌

[avocado-frog]

Incorrect Quotes Tag

As u know I love doing incorrect quotes so thank you to @riveriafalll

Rules: create a set of “incorrect quotes” (either using a generator or your memory, feel free to adjust them to your needs) for your ocs or characters!

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Cass: Accidentally indulged in too much 'free time', turns out I've been reported missing for over six months and presumed dead by most local and national authorities.

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Dylan: I have the sharpest memory here - name one time I forgot something. Sam: You forgot me in a Walmart parking lot at 2am a day ago. Dylan: I did that on purpose, try again

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Cass: The secret of life is to always use more spinach and less rice than you think you'll need Cass: The second secret to life is that fresh air, warm sun, and a cup of tea will make your problems small enough to start handling Cass: The third secret to life is that, sometimes, violence really is the answer

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Lily: I personally don't think it's possible to come up with a crazier plan. Elliot: We could attack them with hummus. Lily: I stand corrected. Elliot: Just keeping things in perspective.

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Lily: You can de-escalate literally any situation by asking 'are we about to kiss?' Lily: Doesn't work with getting out of speeding tickets, though.

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Cass, about Leo: They're covered in blood again. Why is it they're always covered in blood? Logan: Well, it looks like it's their own blood this time.

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Kai, planning a group disguise: You cannot be Blake Bortles. Jaxon: Fine! Then I’ll be Jake- Kai, under his breath: Don’t say Jortles. Jaxon: Jortles! And I work at the molotov cocktail department.

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Leo: Dylan, what is the ONE thing I asked you NOT to do tonight? Dylan: Raise the dead. Leo: And what did you do? Dylan: Raised the dead..

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Leo: I hate you. Jaxon: Well, according to this picture I drew of us holding hands, that is untrue.

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Emily: I’m going to kill Jaxon! Leo, completely monotone: Oh no. Don’t.

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Logan: We need to distract these guys. Dylan: Leave it to me. Dylan: Centaurs have six limbs and are therefore insects. Discuss. Lily & Jaxon: *immediately begin arguing*

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Dylan: When I first got my autism diagnosis, my first thought was "woah... it's canon" and I think that maybe thoughts like that is why Logan made me get tested.

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Logan: People always ask me how I maintain control in my house with eight kids. The answer is: I don't. I have no control here. Jaxon called me into his room the other day and Dylan shot me in the neck with a nerf gun. Logan: I don't even know what a nerf gun is.

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Ryan: *double checking supplies in the boat* Compass. CB radio. Sunscreen. Dylan: Hot dog costumes! Ryan: I'm sorry, what? Dylan: You know, in case we get lost at sea, and one of us, probably Elliot, goes mad with hunger, we'll put these on. Elliot hates hot dogs, so he probably won't eat us. Ryan: Are you saying that Elliot would rather eat us than hot dogs? Elliot: I do hate hot dogs.

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Sam: What's your greatest fear? Dylan: Being forgotten. Sam: ... Sam: Damn, that's deep. Sam: Mine is the Kool Aid man, but I feel kinda stupid about it now...

---

Tagging: @elizaellwrites

@bikaribechic

@elsie-writes

Open tag as usual

[alyjojo]

October 🌹 2024 Monthly - Capricorn

Preshuffle: Ooh I got a song in the preshuffle, that was quick and eager, like you 😉😆 Or that’s what I heard. I Want It All by Queen. Something is taking too got damn long in your opinion, you’ve been ready for ages and could feel breadcrumbed or strung along. Now you’re worried.

Meditation: Inside an abandoned building, rows of “grunts” wait for instruction by the head grunt who barks (literally) some kind of order and everyone picks up their sledgehammers, starts destroying the walls of the building…from the inside out. Why, idk. Won’t it collapse? 🤔

Main energy: Strength

What’s going on in October:

5 Pentacles, The Magician rev, 9 Swords, The Lovers rev & 7 Pentacles

I was told to flip your Oracle over to see the picture, normally I don’t even pay attention to them. The picture shows a phrase from one of my favorite movies 😍 A bird may love a fish, but where will they live? And real estate 🏡 is at the bottom of the oracles for someone - someone is looking to buy a literal home - but that’s not the main story.

You feel held back from achieving your goals, or you’re holding yourself back - because Pistachio does that. He’s comfortable, he keeps himself in a nice little safe box and doesn’t get out much, makes excuses why. Page of Wands at the bottom shows you’re really excited about your goals & ambitions, whatever is on the horizon. Could be travel. Marriage is here and Perseverance is next to it reversed, could be relationship problems are causing a delay or pushback towards other goals you have. There are also heavy financial cards here, and it could be their issue not even yours - however it applies, you’re held back (or holding back) from the path you want to go down right now.

After every card is on the table…relationship problems are taking center stage, and it could start over an argument about a house or money. Or you’re single and terrified of love at all because of a bad experience where some person took your money, left your name on some bs, put you in debt, money/debt is heavily attached to this. You’re scared. 9 Swords. You’re afraid of being manipulated again, it’s possible you have been before. Something you’ve lost, or lost money on, a scam, or love itself - you’re feeling sheepish, shame?, like you should’ve known better and didn’t learn the lesson - Judgment rev with 4 Pentacles. Should’ve held back. Should’ve saved more. Should’ve done a million other things than the thing I just did, fuck. That’s the vibe, financially more than anything, or that’s the “why”. You could be denied for a loan, if that’s something you’re trying, I’m seeing bad or iffy credit, could just be something old you thought would’ve fallen off by now.

It is also possible you’ve been scammed or are being scammed by a salesperson with this Magician rev, Knight of Wands clarifies. This person comes in FAST, very eager, they could probably convince you of needing ice in Alaska, and you’re signing up for some shit you don’t need with a hefty price tag. Or your romantic partner is/has done this. Issa scam.

Or you did this, you made some impulsive purchase towards someone, probably a lover, and then it doesn’t work out and you’re stuck with it? Could just be “debt” generally. Or you have an option to be romantically involved with someone - and these are your fears. “Because of last time.” Taurus & Scorpio are strong here, I’m not seeing these as someone’s signs, could be, but rather showing the “battle” of 2nd House vs 8th House values, what’s mine vs. what’s ours - or what needs releasing. Could be a house and you’re getting divorced, Justice is here showing legalities. I don’t see an actual divorce, could be an old one, I see more fears in a newer relationship surrounding…what if they’re not happy? What if this doesn’t work out? You’re trying to be smart & make good decisions for yourself - and others too. You’re afraid to lose…money, material things, love, your partner, all of it. So you’re cautiously considering how much of yourself to invest…likely financially. What’s fair?

The last row shows nothing changing, Strength being the main energy repeats that you’re held back from moving forward or you’re doing this purposely, that’s the whole month. Probably for the best 🙏 For most, it’s you feeling this. Could also be switched with the preshuffle energy, you could feel breadcrumbed and need to cut through the bs with this Knight of Swords. Ask 👏 the 👏 questions 👏

Advice for Capricorn: Knight of Swords

You have to speak up and make your worries, desires, concerns, fears, complaints, you name it - speak it aloud. To your person, to the bank, to your ex, your job, whoever it applies to. Be direct, truthful, and open with how you feel on this issue and what you’re willing to do. Drawing boundaries might be a good idea, especially where this is a newer connection and you’re afraid of getting in too deep. Knight of Swords calls the shots, who is running this show? 😜

Signs you may be dealing with:

Heavy Gemini, Taurus & Scorpio

Oracle: ✨

Marriage 💍

Sweet Love - Couple - Dependency

Perseverance 🤾🏽 rev

Challenge - Endurement - Resolution

4 Recycle

Learn from the last and apply it to creating your vision of the future.

We enter into October as:

Pistachio 🎩

“I’ve got all I could ever need, right here.”

Excuses. Excuses. Excuses. They can begin to snowball. Pistachio wants you to live the life that he can’t seem to participate in. He is saying “Stop waiting for the right time to live your life!” This isn’t the dress rehearsal, it’s the real thing. You could be on the verge of something big, and if you don’t participate, you’re going to watch it pass you by. Don’t let anything prevent you from taking a chance. It is important to do what you love to do, but are you letting new experiences in? Or are you in a comfort zone that’s leading nowhere? Doing the same thing and expecting something different is not likely. The time is now to take a risk, talk to people, show up for life! Live now! Don’t wait another day.

What is to be learned in October:

Royal Purple Brick 🧱

“She resists what she clings to.”

The fear of stepping out, of being abused, has grown so great that you no longer need a wall of fear to prevent you from living - a simple brick will do. Which of course symbolizes that what frightens you is much smaller than you imagine. What we resist, we cannot heal. Royal Purple Brick appears when we are resisting something, and may indicate a loss of faith. This is a sign of fear holding you back in some way and preventing you from moving forward. If you are experiencing pain, holding on tighter will only worsen the situation. Fear may also indicate you’re trying to save yourself from a path that will not serve you! Are you following your true passion? Is it divinely guided?

This can also indicate presently using your energy in a self-defeating way. Use your courage to let go of control and allow Spirit to come in and heal you. The promise of Royal Purple Brick is freedom after surrender. In letting go you may feel some discomfort, but you’ll also allow healing in. The fear of something is always greater than the actual event. This time period will be a life changing experience for you. Accept mystery. Release the brick and be free.

Purple may be a lucky color 💜